Date: 2022-10-14 04:00:00+00:00
Keywords: M M Romance; Abuse; Romance
Description: A sheltered preacher’s son. A ruthless killer. It was obsession at first sight. Timofey was raised to kill people. He has no conscience. Only his version of a moral code guides him. After rescuing his brother’s new ward, Jordan—a preacher’s son who found himself in a tough spot—Timofey is inexplicably drawn to him. Watching over him began with the best of intentions. He only wanted to keep the boy safe. Then Jordan became an obsession, one Timofey doesn’t know how to shake. He’s never been the least bit sane. In fact, people call him “the Butcher” for a reason. But for once, he wants something
Rights: Copyright &#x00A9;2022 byPunk & Sissy Publications

Butcher

Kings of the East #10

Charity Parkerson

Punk & Sissy Publications

Copyright

The scanning, uploading, and distributing of this book via the internet or via any other means without the permission of the copyright owner is illegal and punishable by law. Criminal copyright infringement, including infringement without monetary gain, is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by up to 5 years in federal prison and a fine of $250,000. Please purchase only authorized electronic editions, and do not take part in or encourage electronic piracy of copyrighted materials. Brief passages may be quoted for review purposes if credit is given to the copyright holder. Your support of the author’s rights is appreciated. Any resemblances to person(s) living or dead, is completely coincidental. All items contained within this novel are products of the author’s imagination.

—Warning: This book is intended for readers over the age of 18. Some of my books contain allusions to past abuse and trauma. I try to have nothing triggering on page and treat every situation with care.

Copyright © 2022 Charity Parkerson

Editor: BZ Hercules & Consultants

All rights reserved.

Contents

1. Introduction
2. Author Note
3. Chapter One
4. Chapter Two
5. Chapter Three
6. Chapter Four
7. Chapter Five
8. Chapter Six
9. Chapter Seven
10. Chapter Eight
11. Chapter Nine
12. Chapter Ten
13. About the Author
14. Content

Introduction

A sheltered preacher’s son. A ruthless killer. It was obsession at first sight.

Timofey was raised to kill people. He has no conscience. Only his version of a moral code guides him. After rescuing his brother’s new ward, Jordan—a preacher’s son who found himself in a tough spot—Timofey is inexplicably drawn to him. Watching over him began with the best of intentions. He only wanted to keep the boy safe. Then Jordan became an obsession, one Timofey doesn’t know how to shake. He’s never been the least bit sane. In fact, people call him “the Butcher” for a reason. But for once, he wants something pure, and he won’t let anything or anyone stand in his way.

Jordan should stay far, far away from Timofey. He can’t explain why he can’t. Jordan knows exactly what Timofey is capable of doing. He’s witnessed it firsthand. But when Timofey is with Jordan, he’s kind and gentle. Jordan doesn’t have to be scared. Unfortunately, falling in love with a killer isn’t the easy road and he’ll have to fight if he hopes to hang on to someone who could disappear without a trace—like a ghost.

Butcher is the tenth book in Charity Parkerson’s Kings of the East series where assassins, crime lords, and mafia bosses run the world. These books are best when read in order.

Author Note

This series is darker than my usual writing. If you need a list of potential triggers, you can skip to the end of this book and find a list after the About Author page. You can also visit my website at charityparkerson.com/kings-of-the-east, if you'd prefer.

Chapter One

With his shorts rolled halfway up his thighs so the hems wouldn’t get wet, Jordan waded into the river. Tadpoles scattered as he reached into the clear water and found a flat, round stone. With a flick of his wrist, he sent the stone skipping across the water. He couldn’t believe it was almost time for his sophomore year of college. The summer had flown by so fast. It had been the best and hardest months of his life. The end of his freshman year had ushered in a huge shift in his life and circumstances. Nothing was the same.

Everything ended and began with his parents learning he was gay. After forced conversion therapy, a few murders, and a change in his last name, Jordan had gone from being Jordan Crawly, the son of a preacher and a hair stylist, to Jordan Park, the—sort of—adoptive son of Ben and Fedir Park. Ben was the father of Jordan’s best friend who died two years ago. They were close. Ben had always been like a second father to Jordan. Now, he was Jordan’s first. Fedir was the badass Ben married. They were great. In only two and a half months, the pair had already given him a life he had never dreamed possible. He had spent his summer break traveling the US with the newly married couple. They had bought him a brand-new truck when he turned nineteen. He never had to worry about hiding anything from them. Yet Jordan still kept one secret. One he didn’t know how to share.

“Traveling obviously agrees with you.”

Jordan smiled at the quietly spoken words at his back. He knew without looking it was Fedir’s younger brother, Timofey. Timofey was ten years older than Jordan. He was like a ghost who appeared and disappeared without a trace every time he visited Jordan.

Jordan took a steadying breath and chose another stone from the water. He needed a second so he wouldn’t show how happy he was to see the man who had helped rescue him from the deep claws of an evil father. Jordan had never wanted anyone more. He didn’t know what that said about him, since he had watched Timofey beat a man to death with a hammer. It had been while rescuing Jordan. He told himself that made it okay. The truth was, he didn’t care. He worried nothing could make Jordan stop wanting Timofey. Jordan skipped the rock across the water before turning Timofey’s way. His eyes were even bluer than Jordan remembered. They were a stark contrast to his black hair.

“I enjoyed seeing the sights, but the flying kind of sucked.”

Timofey’s gaze moved over Jordan’s face, as if he ate up the sight of him. “Are you afraid of heights?”

A smile tugged at Jordan’s lips. “I don’t like crowds.”

Timofey’s features shifted slightly. His lips didn’t move, but his eyes brightened, as if he smiled on the inside. “We have that in common. School starts back soon.”

Jordan nodded. “Next week.”

“What’s your major?”

Feeling uncomfortable, Jordan shrugged and went back to finding the perfect stone for skipping. He hated talking about school. Since Ben and Fedir took him in, he felt like a burden. They never treated him as such. The opposite, in fact. It was just strange going from having to constantly struggle and work for everything he wanted to life being suspiciously easy. “I haven’t completely decided.”

“Do you have a dream?”

A smile tugged at Jordan’s lips. He recalled the time he had gone horseback riding with Timofey. They had talked and Jordan had felt free to be himself in a way he hadn’t since Zach died. It seemed he still felt that way in Timofey’s company. “I want to be a large animal vet. It’s a stupid dream since vet school is ridiculously high priced, but I’ve always loved animals.” He met Timofey’s stare. “Animals are simple. They don’t hate people for no good reason.”

Timofey stood with his hands behind his back and his chest out—like a soldier waiting for permission to relax. He didn’t laugh or pick apart Jordan’s dream. “There’s nothing stopping you from following that dream. Fedir can afford vet school.”

A sardonic smile tugged at Jordan’s lips. “I can’t let him do that. Vet school is like two hundred and fifty grand. He’s done so much for me already. I feel like a leech. That’s just asking too much. I need to get through these next few years, settle on a four-year degree, and be content. That’s more than most people get around here. I can’t ask for more.” Jordan bent and grabbed a handful of rocks to hide the disappointment he knew showed on his face. He had a lot of bitterness built up inside him. Jordan was working on it. Ben had set him up with a therapist. Jordan had religiously attended two sessions a week online, even while they traveled. Life just didn’t fit him very well. He needed to change the subject.

“Is it okay if I ask you a question?” Jordan glanced behind him. Timofey was gone. Jordan’s shoulders fell. “Why do you keep showing up?” Jordan’s question was barely a whisper that carried away on the wind. He shouldn’t have been surprised. Timofey always appeared and disappeared without a trace.

With a sigh, Jordan slogged through the water and moved toward the shoes he left on the bank. He grabbed them and headed for his truck. As much as he loved seeing Timofey, Jordan always felt twice as lonely when he vanished again. Jordan didn’t connect with many people.

As he climbed behind the wheel, a smile exploded across his face. A singular rose waited for him on his dashboard. A tiny slip of paper curled around its stem. Jordan unrolled it.

555-423-9808

He had connected with this one. Jordan didn’t want to let him get away.

From his spot behind a tree, Timofey watched Jordan inside his truck. His bright smile had the corners of Timofey’s mouth curling upward. He didn’t totally understand why he couldn’t stay away from his brother’s new charge. Timofey saw something in him. He had an innocence Timofey had never been afforded. It called to him. He wanted to bask in the purity.

Jordan was beautiful. His auburn hair was all soft curls. His light green eyes were the clearest thing Timofey had ever seen. Freckles smattered the bridge of his nose. He made Timofey want to draw him, memorializing him as the epitome of perfection. Timofey was an artist at heart. He created leatherworks with designs of things that inspired him. Timofey drew and painted. He worked with different materials, sculpting and building. And he killed people, which was also an art form of sorts. Or maybe he was just sick in the head. He didn’t think so, though. Timofey killed no one who didn’t deserve it. He beautified the world by removing the dregs of society. His phone buzzed before he fell down a rabbit hole inside his mind.

Jordan: This is Jordan. Save my number.

Timofey didn’t want to admit he already had Jordan’s number. There was nothing about Jordan Timofey didn’t know. Stalking Jordan was his favorite pastime. He doubted he could stop, even if he wanted to do so.

Timofey: Don’t text and drive.

Jordan: I’m not.

Another smile tugged at the corners of Timofey’s mouth. His gaze moved back to the red Ford F-150 Fedir had bought for the boy’s nineteenth birthday. Nineteen. Damn. Timofey should stay away, but he couldn’t. He would wait for Jordan’s next text, though. If Jordan didn’t message him again, then Timofey would take it as a sign from the universe.

Jordan: You slipped away before I could ask you something.

Timofey’s smile turned wicked. Fate had spoken.

Timofey: Ask me now.

Jordan: No. I want you to have a reason to see me again. So I’ll ask the next time you come around.

Timofey: It’s a date.

Jordan: I’ll take it.

Timofey put his phone away and made his way through the woods, headed for his stashed Jeep. They would see each other again. Their minutes together were all Timofey lived for any longer. Next time, he would try to make them count. First, he had a chore to complete.

Chapter Two

He passed the backpack three times before he noticed it. The brown leather bag blended too well with the worn leather recliner next to Jordan’s bed. He had been such a nervous wreck since the moment his eyes opened, he hadn’t paid any attention to his surroundings. Then he had tried to sit on the chair to pull on the new work boots Ben bought him for school. There it was. It was gorgeous. Jordan knew immediately Timofey had made it. The design on the front matched the smaller design on the leather bracelet Timofey had given him for his birthday.

The way the bag bulged had Jordan giddy to see what was inside. His jittery nerves over the first day of class fled. He tossed his boots aside and unzipped the bag. A gasp escaped. He quickly zipped the bag closed again. Jordan paced around his bed and chewed the side of his nail. This couldn’t be happening. He was dreaming. Jordan paused and stared sightlessly at a poster of monster trucks that had hung on the wall for years. This had been Zach’s room before he died. Jordan had felt a little weird about moving into it, but after Ben’s insistence and a couple of weeks to adjust, Jordan had known he couldn’t sleep anywhere else. He swore Zach’s strength filled him then as he took a deep breath and turned. Jordan eyed the bag as he crossed the room. He prayed he had been wrong the first time. Jordan unzipped the bag again. Nope. Stacks of money still stared up at him. It looked to be all hundreds.

A knock landed on the door. “Are you up? You need to leave in a few, if you want to make it on time.”

“I’m up.” Jordan’s voice squeaked as he rushed to hide the money. It was heavy as hell. His gaze shot around the room. He couldn’t let anyone find the bag before he made Timofey take it back. His gaze landed on the closet. Jordan rushed across the room and kicked his mess on the floor aside. Zach used to have a hiding spot for his porn under the floorboards. Jordan couldn’t remember if it was big enough for an entire backpack full of fucking money, but he had to try. It took some searching, but he found the right section of wood flooring. It was just big enough. For some reason he couldn’t explain, he felt better once it was out of sight.

Jordan piled his dirty clothes on top of the spot where the bag was hidden. He rushed through putting on his shoes and headed for the door. The way Ben’s ranch house was laid out, there was no escaping without running into Ben or Fedir. The living room and kitchen were one completely open space, with both the front and back doors within sight.

“Whoa. I know you’re in a hurry, but at least take a piece of toast with you.”

Jordan didn’t have to fake a smile. Ben tried harder than anyone he had ever met. He accepted the toast. “Thank you. I have to run.”

“Try not to be too impressive. Spread it out through the first week,” Fedir called from the kitchen table.

With a laugh and while juggling his backpack, phone, keys, and toast, Jordan opened the back door. “I promise I won’t be too awesome. Love you guys. See you later.” He was out the door before anyone responded. As much as Jordan hated running late, his rush was more about being alone to call Timofey than anything else. The moment his phone connected to the Bluetooth in his truck, he hit the call icon and backed from the driveway. The phone rang four times before going to voicemail. Jordan growled as he disconnected the call. For no reason at all, Jordan felt like this was just like Timofey. No one else on the planet would leave a bag filled with money in his room and then disappear like the wind. It was maddening.

It had been damn hard not to wake Jordan when he dropped off the backpack, just to have a few minutes of his time, but Timofey knew Jordan needed his sleep. As his phone buzzed in his pocket for the third time that day, the muscles in his chest twitched. No one knew how badly he wanted to answer. Hearing Jordan’s voice always brightened his day, but now wasn’t the time. He had a man literally in his sight.

His watch shook, signaling a large wire transfer. Timofey pulled the trigger. He had the gun broken down and stashed before the first scream rent the air. Timofey headed for a safe house to change vehicles without looking back. Certain lives were no loss. The men Timofey killed were the worst of the worst. He only took jobs from a handful of employers. Those men were thoroughly vetted and only killed for the betterment of society. Timofey might not have a conscience, but he lived by the code he had been trained to follow. He was an exterminator. Some people couldn’t be touched by the law, so they needed Timofey’s special touch. They meant less than nothing.

With his weapon stashed and new wheels beneath him, Timofey pointed the Jeep toward the local campus. He got there just in time to watch Jordan step outside. With his head down and a backpack slung over one shoulder, Jordon headed for his truck. Timofey stepped out and circled the Jeep. He leaned against his hood and waited. Jordan’s chin lifted. Their gazes met. Timofey forgot to breathe as a smile lit Jordan’s face. It was like a light switch had been flipped inside Jordan. He was genuinely happy to see Timofey, and he didn’t hide it. No one was ever happy to see Timofey. It did something to his chest.

“Are your classes done for the day?” Timofey already knew they were, but he didn’t want to seem too stalkerish.

“Yes.”

Timofey turned away and headed back toward the driver’s side of his Jeep. “Good. Get in.” He didn’t wait to see if Jordan would obey. Timofey knew he would.

Jordan climbed into the passenger seat and dumped his bag on the floorboard before putting on his seatbelt. “Where are we headed?”

“Someplace next to no one else has ever been. My place.”

Jordan’s gaze kept moving Timofey’s way as he drove. Timofey swore he could feel Jordan’s eyes. With anyone else, the staring would have made him uncomfortable. He wanted Jordan’s attention. In fact, Timofey would do anything to keep Jordan’s focus.

“I found a backpack in my room this morning.”

Timofey fought a smile. “You’re a student. That’s not unusual.”

“This one was. It was filled with money.”

“Lucky that.”

Jordan made a humming sound that punched Timofey in the chest. “Funnily enough, the bag looked an awful like the bracelet you made for me. It had the same horse burned into the leather.”

“You like horses,” Timofey said, keeping his voice nonchalant.

“Why would you leave a bag of money in my room?”

Timofey stopped playing dumb. “It’s for vet school. I want you to have your dream.”

“You have to take it back. I can’t accept it.”

Timofey maneuvered down a sand-covered driveway until he reached a metal gate. He used his thumb print to unlock the entrance, while ignoring Jordan’s ridiculous claim. Jordan would take that money. He would go to the school of his dreams. No back talk. Timofey didn’t rescue him for Jordan to settle for being a farmhand the rest of his life.

“You live in town. On the beach,” Jordan said, changing the subject. “I expected you would live in the middle of the wilderness surrounded by bear traps.”

Timofey waited until the gate closed behind him before continuing to the garage. “I like the water. Plus, having a boat dock gives me another means of escape should I need to do so.”

From the corner of his eye, he saw Jordan shake his head. “How much is even in that bag anyhow? It felt like it weighed a good twenty pounds.”

“That’s mostly the leather. It’s good quality.” Timofey steered his way into the garage bay closest to the house and waited until the door slid closed behind him before he killed the engine.

“How much?”

Timofey opened the driver’s side door. “Six hundred thousand.”

“What?” The screech brought a smile to Timofey’s face as he closed the door. He didn’t look to see if Jordan followed.

Jordan leapt from the Jeep and stuck close to Timofey’s heels. “Why in the hell did you dump that much money on me? I told you vet school is around two hundred and fifty thousand.”

“Expenses.”

“Expenses?” Jordan still sounded as if he thought Timofey was insane. He was, but still.

“I don’t want you broke while getting an education. You can’t work and keep your grades up. So, six hundred thousand gives you the freedom to focus.”

Jordan’s gaze seemed to turn inward. He looked flabbergasted. Timofey enjoyed a moment to freely stare at him. He never got enough.

“I didn’t know you could even fit six hundred thousand dollars in a backpack.”

Timofey shrugged. “Actually, a backpack will hold over a million. You can fit seven hundred and forty thousand dollars in a shoebox.”

Jordan seemed to snap back to himself. “That’s a pretty specific number. How do you know that?”

Timofey turned away and headed for his bedroom. The moment he was inside the room, he slid back a fake wood panel, revealing a high tech safe. He scanned his retinas and thumb print. After it determined his identity, it unlocked. Timofey swung the door wide, revealing a cache of weapons and wall of stacked shoe boxes.

Jordan’s mouth fell open. “Are those…” He motioned toward the boxes, leaving his question unfinished.

“Look for yourself.”

Jordan walked inside the room-sized safe with a trust Timofey handed no one. Timofey trailed behind, watching as Jordan peeked inside the closest box. “Wow. I’ve never seen so much money. You could do anything. Go anywhere.”

“I do and I have. So keep the money I left for you. Go to school. It’s what I want, and—as you can see—I can afford it.”

Jordan stared at him.

Timofey could see him still struggling. “I assure you the money is clean. You won’t run into a problem. It’s yours, free and clear.”

Still, Jordan looked ready to say no.

“Please? I want this for you.”

“Why?” Jordan’s eyes silently begged for Timofey to say the words they both knew were true.

“You said you would ask me a question the next time you saw me. Ask.”

Disappointment etched Jordan’s features. “Fine. Why do you keep coming around and then disappearing?”

“That’s two questions.”

Jordan headed for the door. “I’ll have Fedir bring your money back to you.”

Timofey stepped into his path, stopping him. He knew he had to be honest if he wanted Jordan to stay. “I keep coming around because I can’t stay away, and I keep disappearing for the same reason. You’re a good person. Someone like you should never spend time with someone like me.” His feet shuffled closer without his permission. Timofey’s gaze dropped to Jordan’s perfect lips without thinking. His fingertips skimmed them before he realized his hand had moved. They were shaped like Cupid’s bow and were so full. Timofey wondered how they tasted way more often than he should. They were soft. Jordan’s eyes seemed to get bigger as Timofey traced his lips. He looked so fucking innocent and pure. Timofey hadn’t known people like Jordan existed before they met. He had always believed everyone was somewhat tainted. Not Jordan. He was angelic. Untouched.

Jordan’s lips moved. He kissed Timofey’s fingertips.

Timofey turned away. “I’ll take you back to your truck. Keep the money. I have no use for it. At some point, it’s all just excess.”

He swore he felt Jordan’s disappointment like a tangible thing. This was for the best. Timofey would destroy Jordan. For the first time in his life, Timofey found a line he couldn’t cross. Jordan had to stay untouched.

Chapter Three

On his side in the hayloft, Timofey watched Jordan work. One after another, Jordan led horses from their stalls, brushing them before setting them loose into the pasture. Then he would muck out their stall before moving to the next. The quiet way Jordan just existed soothed something inside Timofey. Maybe he was the wild animal that needed the calming noises Jordan made while caring for each animal.

An hour in, Jordan’s mood visibly shifted. His brush strokes became rougher and faster until he snapped. The grooming brush flew across the barn and slammed against the wall before bouncing to the ground. The horse danced away but quickly settled. With his hands on his hips and his shoulders heaving with each angry breath, Jordan stared at nothing, as if lost in his angry thoughts.

Timofey often wondered what Jordan’s mind looked like. He wished he could see inside Jordan’s head. Maybe then he would understand why he couldn’t stop doing this. Each day, Timofey showed up early and claimed this spot for the day. While Jordan’s chores weren’t always the same, he spent most of his time in the barn when he wasn’t at school. This wasn’t the first time he had watched Jordan work through an internal battle he didn’t share with anyone else. Timofey liked to lie to himself and say this was why he kept coming back. Jordan’s biological father had paid for some local men to beat Jordan within an inch of his life three days a week as some fucked-up form of conversion therapy. When Timofey’s brother, Fedir, had learned of this, Fedir had roused Timofey and they had eliminated the problem. Now, Jordan lived with Fedir and his husband, Ben. Jordan had taken their last name and was on the road to normalcy, but Timofey couldn’t stop coming around. He couldn’t unsee moments like this. But telling himself this was why he was here was the biggest self-deception of his life. Timofey was obsessed.

As he looked on, Jordan pulled his phone from his back pocket and typed. Timofey couldn’t see from his hiding spot what he typed. Yet he still half expected the phone to buzz in his pocket. When it didn’t happen even after Jordan put his phone away, Timofey’s skin tingled with irritation. He had to know who Jordan confided in at his worst. Timofey would snap their neck. He could already feel imaginary bones popping inside his grip while life seeped from this unknown person’s body. Timofey would gut them and toss them to the alligators. Jordan was his. No one saw inside Jordan’s mind but him.

The rage bled from him as Jordan crossed the barn and retrieved the brush from where it landed. It seemed both their moments of darkness had passed. Timofey went back to quietly watching and Jordan got back to work.

The day dragged on, and the hayloft heated well past stifling before Jordan finished cleaning. Jordan tossed aside his straw cowboy hat, revealing his sweat-soaked hair. He peeled off his shirt and used it to wipe the sweat from his face. Scars littered his torso, but Timofey didn’t see a single imperfection. All he saw was the sleek body that a lifetime of hard work had created. Between the heat and the vision of Jordan, Timofey had trouble catching his breath. His body ached to show Jordan how much pleasure there could be between them.

Jordan slung his shirt over his shoulder and headed out of the barn through the back. Timofey waited until he knew he wouldn’t be spotted before he dropped from the loft and followed. Years of training had taught him to be invisible and silent. No one ever noticed him unless he let them. Timofey had been born twelve years after Fedir. Three years before they tossed Fedir into military school. Neither of them had been wanted, but their parents had been extra tired by the time of Timofey’s birth. He had been sold to Russian relatives who turned around and doubled their profit by reselling Timofey. Timofey had changed hands several times before finding himself in a training program for spies. He had been taught everything he needed to know to survive without ties before Olek Kozak had purchased his freedom. Olek had been like a father to Fedir. His kindness toward Timofey had been on Fedir’s behalf, but Timofey was still grateful and loyal to the Kozak family. But all the lessons he had learned while growing up never disappeared or failed him. He used them now to keep Jordan in sight while he remained hidden. Jordan headed for the side of the house and fired the hose to life. He stripped down to his underwear before dousing himself with water. Timofey watched every move with his jaw locked tight. His body burned while the water streamed down Jordan’s beautiful form, soaking his underwear. The material molded his skin, leaving nothing to the imagination.

With the sweat washed from his body, Jordan gathered his shoes and clothes and headed for the backyard. It took some backtracking and maneuvering, but Timofey had a setup for watching Jordan from this angle as well. He climbed a tree that was just out of sight of the backyard but was tall enough to see Jordan perfectly. Timofey found a wide and sturdy branch. He straddled it and settled in with his back pressed against the tree’s trunk. The spot was perfect. It was wide enough Timofey could camp there and stay hidden enough no one would ever spot him. Not once did he consider the insanity of his actions. Timofey wasn’t the least bit mentally stable. He didn’t let that bother him too much.

From his hiding spot, he watched as Jordan tossed his things down on the deck. Fedir and Ben weren’t home and wouldn’t be for hours. Ben had dragged Fedir to another county to check out a farmer’s market. It was a two-hour drive one way, so Jordan was free to be himself and Timofey was free to enjoy the show.

Jordan stripped off his soaked underwear and tossed his final article of clothing toward his pile of abandoned clothes. Timofey leaned forward and eyed Jordan’s body like the pervert he had obviously become these last few months. He was flawless in Timofey’s eyes. Jordan headed for the pool and dove in. Timofey went back to leaning against the tree. He crossed his arms over his chest, trying to hold in the thoughts that roiled inside him. The need to know who Jordan texted made Timofey’s skin itch. His temper thinned as he focused on that thought to keep his dick under control. He had to get angry about Jordan talking to someone else. Otherwise, he would acknowledge the way he fought his desire. The truth waited to burn him to the ground. Timofey wanted to be the one who spread Jordan’s perfect ass cheeks and licked that tight hole he doubted anyone had touched. He didn’t want to taint Jordan. Timofey wanted to consume him. He needed Jordan to understand the level of sickness Timofey felt for him. Jordan lived under Timofey’s skin and his existence burrowed into Timofey’s brain. Seeing his gorgeous, nude body so close yet so far away had Timofey grinding his teeth to a pulp. Timofey wanted to shove Jordan to his knees and teach him how to please a man. But the idea of Jordan on his knees for anyone, including him, also made Timofey want to slit throats. No one should sully Jordan in any way. He was too good for that.

Jordan floated on his back and stared at the sky. Timofey’s gaze stroked him, savoring every inch exposed for his viewing. His mouth watered. As he looked on, Jordan’s cock stiffened, as if he felt Timofey’s lust. Jordan flipped and dove beneath the water, making Timofey wonder if he tried to wash away the guilt of the thoughts that stirred his body.

Jordan climbed from the pool. He snatched up his clothes, looking angry again. His erection still stood proudly, obviously unmoved by Jordan’s fury. This time, Timofey didn’t follow as Jordan headed inside. Over the months of stalking Jordan, Timofey had developed a hundred ways of slipping inside the house undetected. He knew he could go after Jordan. Timofey could take the guilt from Jordan’s thoughts. He could make Jordan fly.

Instead, Timofey’s hand moved lower. He stared sightlessly at the empty pool below as he loosened the front of his pants. As his hand dove inside his underwear, Timofey’s mind conjured the images of Jordan’s nude body. He stroked his cock. A stuttered breath escaped him. His eyes fell closed. Timofey’s dick sawed in and out of his fist as he let his fantasies take control. He wondered if Jordan did this inside the house. Did he think of Timofey now as he eased the pressure from that erection that angered him? Or did Jordan fuck his fingers while picturing Timofey pounding inside him? Timofey’s grip tightened. His strokes became like a punishment. Did Jordan picture the mystery man he had texted earlier? Timofey pumped faster and harder. Jordan belonged to him. No one else got to have this part of Jordan. Timofey would tear apart the world before he let anyone else touch Jordan’s body the way he wanted. Pressure climbed Timofey’s shaft as he pictured pushing his crown past the tight ring of muscles surrounding Jordan’s asshole. He would be amazing. Timofey could practically feel his heat and hear his whimpers. A muffled cry ripped from Timofey’s throat. He bit his forearm to keep from shouting Jordan’s name as cum coated his fingers and soaked his clothes. Timofey stared down at himself as he struggled for air. There was no guilt. There never was. Only one thought existed inside Timofey’s head. He had to know who Jordan texted. Timofey had to know it now, before he did something everyone would regret, except him.

His day had been long and hard. The heat made every chore all that much harsher. Jordan should be exhausted and dead to the world. Instead, he couldn’t stop listening to every creak the house made. He knew Timofey would come. He always came.

When his bedroom door slowly creeped open, Jordan closed his eyes and pretended to sleep. He opened his eyes a hair so he could watch Timofey move around the room. Normally, Timofey sat quietly beside the bed and watched Jordan sleep. Tonight, Timofey headed straight for the bedside table. He snagged Jordan’s phone. Jordan held his breath and watched as Timofey easily unlocked the device, as if he did this every night as well. He watched and waited as Timofey scrolled through the contents and clicked around. Then, he froze.

Jordan knew what Timofey read. It was a half-written and unsent message to Timofey. Why do you watch me if you don’t want me? The light highlighted Timofey’s face. Jordan saw the moment Timofey finished reading his text. His lips parted in surprise. He looked Jordan’s way. His shock visibly doubled when he found Jordan awake and watching.

“I thought you were asleep.”

“Obviously.”

Timofey seemed to realize his position. He was inside Jordan’s room, going through his phone. “I…” He set the phone aside and shifted as if he meant to move away.

Jordan reached out and touched him. His hand landed on Timofey’s forearm, stopping him without thinking. He didn’t have a plan. All Jordan knew was he had to touch him. It was the first time Jordan ever had. Timofey had cradled his waist while on horseback with him, and he had lightly stroked Jordan’s skin a few times, but Jordan hadn’t been brave enough to touch him back. He was every bit as hard as Jordan expected, but he was also soft. His skin begged to be stroked. Jordan wanted to savor the sensation of soft skin over hard muscle. He didn’t risk moving. Jordan didn’t want to spook Timofey. He didn’t know what he hoped to gain, honestly. Jordan just ached to be closer. No one ever touched him. This one time, he really needed it to happen. He missed human contact.

A heartbeat passed with Timofey completely frozen. Then he struck. It happened so fast, Jordan didn’t see him coming. Timofey’s mouth covered Jordan’s. There was no slow build. Timofey’s tongue was immediately inside Jordan’s mouth. Jordan could barely breathe beneath the onslaught. That was fine. In that moment, Jordan was completely convinced he didn’t need oxygen to survive. He felt like he had waited a thousand years for this kiss. All the pent-up yearning poured from him. He took everything Timofey gave. Their tongues clashed. Timofey bit his bottom lip and then sucked it as if in apology. It was sexual and violent. The kiss was everything Timofey was, and Jordan wanted it every bit as much as he needed Timofey. His fingertips dug into Timofey’s shoulders as he fought the urge to pull Timofey into his bed.

Then it was over. Timofey ripped himself away as if someone else had physically torn him away from Jordan. “I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t have done that.” The panic and regret in Timofey’s voice swelled Jordan’s throat. Jordan had never heard so much remorse and it was all directed at him. “I won’t come back. I’m sorry. You don’t deserve this.”

Jordan didn’t even have time to say a single word. Timofey’s panic and disappearance seemed almost instantaneous. One second, they were kissing. The next, Jordan was a mistake and Timofey was gone. Jordan stared at the spot where Timofey had been. He blinked, fighting back tears of frustration. The short encounter was a culmination of all Jordan’s existence. His entire life, no one had wanted to want him. After a while, a person had to face the truth. There was only one common factor: him. He was unworthy of love.

He tried taking a breath. His lips stung from Timofey’s kiss. A wave of grief washed over him. Jordan no longer knew what he mourned the most. He had lost too much to keep up with it all. Jordan curled into a ball and stared into the darkness. He refused to cry. Or hell, maybe he didn’t have any tears left. All Jordan knew for sure was he couldn’t keep doing this. Wanting someone who didn’t want him was the thing that killed him over and over again. He wouldn’t do it anymore. Jordan was done with Timofey. He was done with being weak.

Chapter Four

Rhett: I don’t know if you remember me or if you kept my number, but this is Rhett. We met at Ben’s wedding. I saw Ben at the store last night and realized you must finally be back in town. Would you like to get coffee?

Jordan: Hey. Of course I remember you, and I’d love to. Just let me know when and where.

Despite his anxiety being through the roof, Jordan refused to show it. He had started the day determined to be someone new. Rhett’s text gave him the perfect place to begin. The coffee shop Rhett chose was a small place off the beaten path. Jordan had lived in Cage Beach his entire life and hadn’t known the place existed. It was a small red brick building near the water and in the middle of the tourist district. Since school had started back, it wasn’t the busy season. The parking lot was nearly empty. Only a gray Camry and a blue Bronco sat nearby.

Jordan parked close to the door and took a deep breath. He swiped his sweating palms on his thighs before slipping from the truck. As he closed his truck door, the door to the Bronco opened and Rhett stepped out. Despite his nervousness, a smile snapped to his lips at the sight of Rhett. He remembered now why he had accepted the man’s number. Rhett bled charisma. Jordan had always been the type who needed an extrovert to adopt him. Outgoing people had always fascinated him. They were living, breathing examples of what he wished he could be. They were who he always failed to become.

Rhett’s dark blue eyes were alight with happiness—like he laughed a lot. “Jordan. Hey. Why are you twice as hot as what I recall? That’s really saying something.”

He tried. Jordan really did, but heat climbed up his face without his permission. “Hi.” He felt like an idiot, but he couldn’t think of anything else to say. They didn’t really know each other. Jordan had only met Rhett once. He had been a guest of Ben at Ben and Fedir’s wedding. Jordan didn’t even know how Rhett and Ben knew each other.

Rhett’s bright smile somehow hitched up a notch. “A blusher. Interesting.”

Jordan had never felt more out of his league.

Rhett motioned toward the door. “Let’s get some coffee. I want to hear all about your trip.”

The moment Jordan turned toward the door; Rhett set his hand on the small of his back. Jordan fought the urge to step away. He had spent so many years trying to hide his sexuality from his family that Jordan had to force himself to be open now. Rhett reached past him and opened the door. Jordan stepped inside.

His gaze moved Rhett’s way. Jordan caught him checking out his ass. Brave. He had to be brave. Rhett’s gaze slowly lifted from Jordan’s backside. There was no shame in his expression. That was a little hot. Rhett was the opposite of Timofey in every way. He was blond and clean shaven. Rhett didn’t look like he would wreck Jordan’s heart. Jordan needed to stop comparing.

“I’ve never been here. What do you recommend?”

Rhett’s hand was on the small of his back again. They were closer than Jordan expected. Barely two inches separated them. Rhett was a lot taller than Jordan remembered. He took up too much space.

“That depends. Do you like sweet, or do you have darker tastes?”

Jordan wasn’t sure they were still discussing coffee. He refused to play along. “I grew up under the thumb of a preacher. In our home, you weren’t allowed to enjoy anything. If I wanted coffee, I had to take it black.”

“Hmm.” Rhett smirked. “You should let me teach you how to enjoy things, then. I’ll order.” He moved to the counter, leaving Jordan behind.

Jordan was too damn glad to have Rhett focusing on anything other than him to argue. He took a breath while Rhett ordered. Jordan needed the moment of space to recenter himself. It was odd and Jordan didn’t understand. Whenever he was with Timofey, Jordan prayed for the space between them to disappear. He longed to struggle for air. Jordan wasn’t afraid when he was with Timofey. His gaze moved Rhett’s way. Rhett glanced over his shoulder. Heat blasted from him. Jordan wasn’t so sure he was safe right now. Not because he thought Rhett was dangerous, but Jordan knew in his heart Rhett didn’t have anything holding him back. If Jordan gave the word, they would leave now, and Jordan’s life would never be the same.

He looked away and eyed the coffee shop to give himself time to think. The place was beach-themed, like every building in the tourist district. Waves, bathing suit-clad people, and crabs were painted on the walls. Two men sat in the corner on the same side of the table. It was obvious they were a couple. Jordan wondered if that was why he had never been here. It hadn’t occurred to him Rhett might have suggested this place because it catered to the LGBT community. He felt a little stupid for not realizing that sooner. His gaze moved back to the murals painted on the walls. Sure enough, all the couples illustrated were same-sex couples. His shoulders relaxed. Jordan didn’t feel as much like he had to be on guard.

Rhett returned with a coffee in each hand. He nodded toward an empty booth. “How about we sit right there?”

Jordan smiled and headed that way. He was more than a little relieved when Rhett didn’t squeeze in on his side.

He set a paper cup in front of Jordan and then slid into the other side. “Give that a shot.”

Jordan lifted the cup to his lips and took a careful sip. It was sweet, but there was also a hint of salt. “Oh, wow. That’s really good.”

Satisfaction etched Rhett’s features. “Good to know you like salty things. It’s a salted caramel mocha, in case you ever want to order it again.”

Jordan ignored the innuendo. “Thank you.”

Rhett eyed him, as if looking for something only he understood. “I’ll tone it down. It’s obvious I make you uncomfortable.”

Jordan immediately felt like shit. Rhett had been nothing but nice to him. It wasn’t fair for him to project his insecurities onto anyone else. He had hoped to be brave. Jordan didn’t like making other people feel like less. “You’re fine. Please don’t police yourself on my account. I’m just…” Jordan swallowed a growl. He didn’t want to be this person who was mentally trapped beneath his father’s thumb. Jordan wanted to be free. He wanted to flirt and throw some innuendo around as easily as Rhett. Jordan hated being who he was. He didn’t know how to change. His life hadn’t been as easy as Rhett’s had obviously been. No one told him it was okay to be himself.

“Tell me about your trip.”

Jordan took a breath at the change in topic. Part of him still wanted to cry. His phone buzzed. “Excuse me.” Jordan dug his phone from his pocket and checked his message.

Timofey: I could shoot out both his kneecaps for you.

A smile exploded across Jordan’s face.

“Damn. I’d love to be the one who makes you smile like that. He must be amazing.”

Guilt hit him. He set his phone aside. Jordan needed to stop smiling about the man who kept walking away from him. “It’s Ben,” he lied without a qualm. “The trip went great. We spent more time in airports than I liked, but we had a blast.”

Rhett let the change in subject stand. “What’s wrong with airports? Airports are great. I like to watch, though. There are so many different people. I amuse myself by making up stories in my head about them—like where they’re going and why.”

Jordan smiled and listened while Rhett talked about the fantasies he created for unwitting strangers. He fought to keep his gaze locked on Rhett and not look for Timofey. Jordan had become an expert since he met Timofey at finding him everywhere he went. That was Jordan’s favorite game. Spot the assassin. Timofey acted as if Jordan didn’t know he had followed him around the world. Jordan pretended he didn’t see him lurking on the edge of every crowd. He honestly didn’t understand how he ended up this way, but Jordan couldn’t fool himself. Somewhere along the way, he had come to depend on Timofey being in the shadows. His silent protector. Jordan’s biggest desire.

He sneaked a quick glance around the room and there he was. Two tables away, reading a book and sipping coffee. His hair was a mess. He was dressed sloppy. It was as if he purposely kept himself in a state that made people look the other way. Like always, he somehow faded into the background, going unnoticed by everyone. Jordan saw him, though. He always saw him. In fact, Jordan couldn’t see anyone else.

Timofey left before Jordan’s date ended. He didn’t want to know if they kissed. It was Wednesday, so Timofey already knew Jordan’s next stop. Jordan wouldn’t miss this part of his routine for anyone, especially not for some blond guy who smiled too much and flirted too hard. Of that, Timofey would bet all that he owned.

Like clockwork, Jordan wound his way through the gravestones until he reached Zach’s grave. He set a flower at the base of the Zach’s headstone and spread a small blanket on the grass. As Timofey looked on, Jordan settled on his back and stared up at the sky. He spoke in a low tone that was carried away by the wind. While Timofey watched, Jordan reached above his head and sightlessly traced the letters of Zach’s name. Timofey always wondered if this was Jordan’s version of writing in his journal. Jordan shared everything with Zach, as if his best friend still heard every word.

For the first time, Timofey found himself moving closer, needing to hear what Jordan confided in Zach. Either he missed it, or Jordan heard him coming because Jordan fell silent. Still, Timofey couldn’t stop moving Jordan’s way. As he eased around the headstone, Timofey dropped to his knees on the blanket next to Jordan.

“Do you tell him about me?”

From his spot on his back, Jordan stared up at Timofey with his heart in his eyes. “I feel like that’s all I ever tell him anymore.”

Timofey eyed Zach’s name etched in stone. “You loved him.” Possibly, it was a dumb thing to say. No one did this every week for anything less than love, but that was one emotion Timofey didn’t fully understand. No one had ever loved him. He didn’t know if he had ever felt anything at all. Except Timofey knew—if Jordan was the one in the ground—he would be here every day, not just on Wednesdays. He would have to be wherever Jordan was. Maybe Timofey would join him permanently.

“He was the only person who loved me when even my parents didn’t.” Jordan’s chest expanded on a deep breath, as if bracing himself against the confession. “When even I didn’t.”

Timofey understood. When Zach had died, he had taken everything with him and left Jordan with nowhere to go. “And now?”

Jordan stared at Timofey, looking serious and steady—like a secure home Timofey never had. When he spoke, he sounded resigned in a way Timofey would never have wished on him. “Now, it’s just me and two guys who are doing their best for the newly adopted adult son that landed on their doorstep, and this one guy who looks at me like he’d die without me but runs away if I make him feel.”

He didn’t care for the way that sounded. Timofey didn’t like being accused of running. It was true, though. Jordan scared him. Also, Timofey would die without him. “I never got to be you.”

“How do you mean?”

Since Jordan looked ready to stay with Timofey all day, Timofey answered. “Innocent.”

“You think of me as innocent?”

Timofey couldn’t look away from Jordan’s gorgeous, trusting eyes. “You’re everything good in this world. I’m not.”

“I think the world needs both good and bad. If you weren’t who you are, I would be dead right now. Not because I think those men would have killed me, but because I would have killed myself eventually. You saved me.” Jordan sat up. Only inches separated them. “Will you do something for me?”

“Anything.” Even Timofey heard the way he answered too quickly—like desperate to do anything Jordan wanted.

“Will you let me kiss you and promise not to freak out?”

Timofey managed a jerky nod. To be honest, he was already panicked, but not because he thought he would run. Timofey feared how much he wanted Jordan. He never wanted to scare Jordan… or hurt him.

Jordan shifted to his knees. He held Timofey’s stare, looking more innocently aroused than any grown man had a right to. Timofey had to force himself to keep breathing as Jordan slowly closed the gap between them. He couldn’t look away from Jordan’s gorgeous light eyes. Then Jordan’s lips brushed his and Timofey’s eyes closed. His lips parted at the sweetness of Jordan’s kiss. Timofey’s thoughts scattered. Jordan shuffled closer. His tongue found Timofey’s and stroked. Timofey could practically feel Jordan’s nervousness, but Jordan didn’t stop. He was so much braver than he gave himself credit for being. Timofey let him lead. He didn’t try to deepen their kiss. Timofey didn’t touch Jordan. The way he had pawed Jordan the last time they kissed still haunted him. He hadn’t meant to fall on Jordan the way he had. Sometimes, he scared himself. Jordan didn’t deserve that. He deserved someone who treated him like a king. Someone who worshipped him. Timofey did.

Jordan pulled away and then whisked his lips across Timofey’s mouth again as if he couldn’t stop. His forehead touched Timofey’s. Timofey stared at him and dreamed.

“I would give you everything if you were mine.”

A sweet smile touched Jordan’s lips. He kissed Timofey again and then stood. “I’ve been yours. You just refuse to accept it.”

Timofey couldn’t look away from Jordan as he stood and helped Jordan gather his blanket. He kept expecting Jordan to take it back. Instead, with his blanket folded, Jordan draped it over one arm and then held his hand out for Timofey to take. Their fingers linked. Still, Timofey’s gaze refused to budge from the man who completely owned him.

Hand in hand, they wound their way through the cemetery. Timofey opened his mouth to ask if they were a couple now or if he was dreaming.

“Jordan?”

Jordan’s chin shot up from where he had been watching the ground and hiding a smile. He froze. His expression snapped closed. Timofey followed his gaze. A middle-aged woman with salt and pepper hair stared at him, looking stunned. Jordan moved closer to Timofey, as if silently seeking protection. He didn’t respond. Instead, he started moving again, as if she wasn’t waiting for him to acknowledge her.

“Jordan. I thought… Where have you been?”

Jordan kept moving. He didn’t look back as they passed.

“Were you visiting your father’s grave?”

Jordan’s steps faltered, but he still didn’t look back.

Timofey let go of Jordan’s hand and grabbed his waist to keep him steady. With Jordan held tightly against him, he steered Jordan toward the passenger side of his truck. Jordan was in no shape to drive, and Timofey could pick up his Jeep later. He punched in the code on the door and unlocked the truck. Jordan didn’t question how he knew it.

“You shouldn’t be driving, angel. I’ve got you.”

“I’m still your mom, Jordan. You can’t pretend I didn’t bring you into this world.”

Jordon climbed inside the truck.

Timofey closed the door. As he circled the truck, he met the woman’s stare. He didn’t hide the killer that lived inside him. Her lips parted in obvious surprise at the venom that poured from him. She took a step back. An evil smirk pulled at Timofey’s lips. He had already sliced her husband’s throat. She could easily be next. Only one person was truly sacred to him, and she had hurt that man. That made her enemy number one. She needed to recognize it and protect herself.

For Jordan, life was a constant rollercoaster he couldn’t escape. His coffee date with Rhett might have been perfectly nice for anyone else. Jordan thought it had been a nightmare. He couldn’t get away fast enough. Each time Rhett’s feet had brushed his beneath the table, Jordan thought he might scream. Then Rhett had tried to kiss him. Jordan had ended up humiliating himself by covering Rhett’s mouth and telling him he didn’t kiss on the first date. He felt like an idiot. But then, Timofey had shown up—the way he always did—and he could breathe again.

They had kissed. Timofey hadn’t run. It had been amazing. That one kiss had left him feeling euphoric—like he could touch the stars. Then his mom had turned up. Holy shit. He couldn’t find his way through the fog. She had brought up bringing him into the world. What the fuck? How dare she? She had done her part to kill him. Maybe she hadn’t been the one who demanded he go to conversion therapy, but she hadn’t stopped it. When he had come home that first time with black eyes and skin missing from his back, she had done nothing. He couldn’t forgive it. But she had asked about his father’s grave and Jordan hadn’t even known his father was dead. He didn’t know how to feel.

Ten minutes passed before Timofey broke the silence. “Fedir and Ben are your parents now.”

A smile tugged at Jordan’s lips. Timofey always tried so damn hard for Jordan. Jordan wasn’t oblivious to that. “She’s horrible. Sorry about that.”

Timofey glanced his way. “Why in the fuck are you apologizing?”

Jordan shrugged. It just seemed he should be sorry. “I don’t know. For ruining everything, I guess.”

Timofey shot him an annoyed look.

Jordan bit back a smile. He didn’t want to talk about the shitty people who gave him life anymore. Jordan toyed with the leather wristband Timofey had made him. He wore it everywhere. Tracing the horse burned into the band always calmed his nerves. Jordan needed that now. “Is it crazy that I’m in love with you?”

Timofey nearly ran off the road when his head whipped Jordan’s way. He looked away just as quickly. Timofey cleared his throat. It was an uncomfortable sound. “Um.” He cleared his throat again. “Don’t say things like that to me unless you mean it. I’m already breaking into your house every night. It’s terrifying to think how far I might go.”

Jordan bit his lip to keep from smiling. Loving Timofey was insanity, but no one else had ever loved him back as much. Timofey hadn’t said the words, but Jordan felt the way Timofey would do anything. There was no such thing as too far. Maybe whatever Timofey felt for him was better than love. It was the level of insanity Jordan’s greedy and love-starved heart craved.

“Would you make love to me?”

Timofey’s knuckles turned white, proving how tightly he gripped the steering wheel at Jordan’s question. He kept his gaze locked on the road as if his life depended on it. “Is that something you’ve done before?”

It was funny. Jordan should have prayed for the floor to swallow him whole. He wasn’t embarrassed or shy. It was Timofey. Jordan belonged to him. “No.”

Timofey’s grip visibly relaxed. He hit the blinker and changed lanes before making a U-turn. Jordan didn’t ask questions. He didn’t care where they went. They were together. Jordan didn’t care if he ever went home again. When he was with Timofey, he was home.

Chapter Five

Is it crazy that I’m in love with you? Those words were stuck on repeat inside Timofey’s head. He couldn’t get home fast enough. Would you make love to me? He needed Jordan in his bed. Timofey just hoped he had the patience. He had wanted Jordan too long. With his fingers linked through Jordan’s, Timofey led him down the hall toward his bedroom. He made a silent vow. Whatever it took, Timofey would give Jordan as much time as he needed. Jordan would never regret choosing Timofey, but he needed Jordan to choose.

At his bedroom door, Timofey pulled Jordan to a stop. “I don’t want you to regret me.”

The trusting way Jordan looked at him was almost his undoing. “Won’t happen.” Jordan moved closer. Timofey’s insides danced with anticipation. Now that he knew how Jordan felt, he wasn’t afraid to touch him. He saw everything in Jordan’s eyes. This was real. Timofey stood still and waited for Jordan to make the next move. Jordan flattened his palms against Timofey’s chest before sliding them upward and encircling Timofey’s neck. His gaze never wavered from holding Timofey’s stare.

“You’re so fucking brave.” The claim came out in a whisper, but they were the truest words Timofey had ever spoken. Timofey was dangerous. He wouldn’t hesitate to kill anyone. Yet Jordan treated him like he was normal. Timofey could see his lack of fear. He trusted Timofey completely.

Jordan shook his head. “I’m not. I just want you more than I want my next breath.”

“I would never hurt you.” Timofey needed Jordan to know that.

“You’re hurting me every second you choose not to touch me.”

Timofey grabbed Jordan’s ass and hauled him forward until their bodies were flush against each other. He wanted Jordan to feel his desire. “No one else touches you after today.”

“No one else touched me before today, so I don’t see that being a problem.”

Timofey was not amused. “No more coffee dates with Charisma Chad.”

Jordan visibly fought a smile. “His name is Rhett.”

“Oh, I know. I know everything about everyone who comes near you. No more.”

Jordan nodded as he moved to the tips of his toes and touched his lips to Timofey’s. “No more,” he whispered between kisses. “I promise.”

Timofey claimed Jordan’s mouth before he could get away again. With one hand holding Jordan’s head in place for his kiss, he easily lifted Jordan with the other. Jordan didn’t hesitate to wrap his legs around Timofey’s waist. Timofey headed for the bed with Jordan clinging to him like a monkey.

Jordan deserved to be made love to properly. He wouldn’t get a quick fuck against the wall. Jordan would get a bed and kisses. Timofey would make him burn and feel cherished, because he was. Jordan hung the fucking moon and stars. He was perfect. That belief doubled when Timofey had Jordan underneath him. He touched Jordan everywhere he could reach.

Time passed with no meaning. Their lips clung and their tongues played. They savored each other. Their shirts disappeared and then their pants until they were skin on skin. They explored each other’s bodies while the day passed without them. Neither of them rushed. Timofey felt Jordan’s love. He wanted Jordan to feel him too. He kissed a path down Jordan’s body. Their gazes never wavered from each other. Jordan’s hair was a mess, and his lips were swollen from Timofey’s kisses. He was beautiful. Timofey didn’t want to look anywhere else, but he needed to taste every inch of Jordan’s skin. Jordan gasped for air. His eyes burned with lust and love. When Timofey finally swallowed Jordan’s cock, a strangled cry ripped from Jordan. Jordan’s hips left the bed. Timofey gave him just enough to make sure Jordan was half insane with need. He didn’t want Jordan to cool when the pain came. There was no avoiding that part. But Timofey could still make Jordan feel good and he would.

Timofey only moved away long enough to grab the lube and a condom. He toyed with Jordan’s dick and asshole. Timofey took turns stretching him and pumping his cock. Jordan writhed like Timofey made him insane.

“No one else will ever touch me. You’re the only one for me. That’s not why I’m putting on a condom.”

Jordan didn’t respond. He looked too aroused to formulate words.

Timofey kept talking. His insanity was setting in again, and he had talk himself down while also keeping Jordan informed. “I don’t let anyone close enough for sex and you’re special to me.” He massaged Jordan’s prostate, making him moan. His mouth kept moving. He needed Jordan to know him. “Every test I’ve ever taken has been negative. You don’t have to worry about that. I just need to know you’re protected. That’s what I live for now, knowing you’re safe in the world. It’s been like that since the very first time I saw you. I can’t explain what happened that day. You just looked so innocent, and I needed to protect that… like no one ever shielded me.”

His head was turning dark again. He kept his gaze locked on his hands as he toyed with Jordan’s body so Jordan wouldn’t see the monster inside him.

Jordan cupped his jaw and gently urged Timofey to meet his stare. The love that waited for him in Jordan’s eyes stole his breath. “You’re safe with me.” He drew a steadying breath as if silently asking Timofey to follow his lead. Timofey’s body automatically obeyed. A slow, steady breath filled his lungs. He released it as Jordan breathed out. His body moved closer to Jordan’s, as if drawn by an invisible force. Their lips met. The crown of Timofey’s cock pressed against the tight ring of muscles surrounding Jordan’s asshole. His body followed Jordan’s lead. He expected to go slow and be ready to blow before he made it inside Jordan. Instead, he was all the way to the hilt inside Jordan’s ass in seconds, and Jordan never balked.

Their fingers linked and their tongues stroked as Timofey rocked inside Jordan. The moment was unlike anything he had ever experienced. Jordan had asked him to make love to him. That was what this was. They were connected mind, body, and soul. His body burned. He couldn’t hold back his orgasm. Jordan felt too good. Plus, he knew it was Jordan beneath him. That made his body twice as hot. Then, unexpectedly, cum coated the space between them. Jordan’s cries vibrated through their kiss. His body tried sucking Timofey deeper. Timofey saw stars. He lost the ability to breathe. An orgasm blinded him. He cried Jordan’s name as the waves rocked his soul. It was the most powerful moment in his life. With Jordan’s tight heat surrounding him and his love penetrating Timofey’s skin, Timofey felt whole in a way he never had. Timofey saw the truth in that moment. All the crazy stalking and intense need to see Jordan every second of the day had a name. He had just never known it before Jordan.

“I love you.” The words fell easily from Timofey’s lips. In Jordan’s arms, it turned out he was human after all, and he wanted a life. His purpose for living was beneath him and Timofey would never let him go.

With his eyes closed, Jordan savored the sensation of Timofey’s mouth on his skin. His body still hummed from their lovemaking. Timofey open-mouth kissed every scar covering Jordan’s back while Jordan floated on a cloud of euphoria. Chill bumps kept rising on his skin. Butterflies stirred in his gut. He couldn’t get enough of Timofey’s attention.

“Tell me something no one else knows about you.”

He felt Timofey’s lips curve into a smile against his back. “Everything you know about me is more than anyone else knows.”

Damn. Timofey had a way of making Jordan feel special, like no one else ever had.

“You know what I mean. Tell me your secret dream. What did you want to be when you were little?”

“Free.”

Jordan rolled and pulled Timofey into his arms. He wanted all of Timofey. Even the ugly parts. “What happened to you?”

For a long moment, Timofey held his stare without blinking. Finally, he blinked as if coming back to himself. “I wanted to join the circus.”

An unexpected snort escaped Jordan. He couldn’t help it. That was the last thing he expected Timofey to say.

Timofey settled onto his side and tucked Jordan against him. “I’m serious. As a kid, I thought that was the freest anyone could be. The circus traveled the country. There didn’t seem to be any rules for the people traveling with it. Now I won’t even go to one because of the animal cruelty involved, but I thought that was high aspirations when I was little.”

Jordan trailed his fingertips up and down Timofey’s arm. “I can see that. Running away was all I ever thought about too. Then I met Zach, and I started spending all my time at his house. That was the only time growing up that life was good for me. Ben seemed like the perfect parent. I was jealous of Zach in a lot of ways. He had a light inside him I could never achieve. People gravitated toward him. I was always in his shadow, but I liked it there. It was safe. When he died, I was back to being alone and trapped.” Jordan shook his head. He didn’t want to be sad. Everything was different now. The past was exactly that. He was allowed to be happy. “Do you know what you should do? You should open a shop in the middle of the tourist district and sell your leatherworks. I know you don’t need the money, but everything you make is so beautiful. You should share it with the world.”

Timofey stared at Jordan. He looked resigned. “Baby, I’m nothing more than a killer and that’s all I’ll ever be.”

His claim hurt, but not for the reason anyone would think. “I’m not trying to change you. That wasn’t what I said at all.” Jordan sat up. “Maybe I should go. It’s getting late.” It was dark out and Jordan hadn’t told Ben he wouldn’t be home tonight.

Timofey’s fingertips skimmed Jordan’s spine. “I’m sorry. Please stay.”

Jordan glanced over his shoulder and held Timofey’s stare. He wanted Timofey to see the truth in his eyes. “When I said I love you, I meant it. I would never ask you to be anyone else.”

Timofey moved too fast for Jordan to follow. In an instant, he found himself pinned to the bed with Timofey between his thighs. “I would. If I could change, I would be someone different for you. I would work on my art and help you study for that vet's degree. Every night, I’d fall asleep next to you and pretend nothing bad exists in the world. If I knew how to be that person, I would for you.”

Jordan felt like there was a warning somewhere in there. He had a feeling they would never be more than they were. This was a passing dream and nothing more. As Timofey lowered his head and their lips met, Jordan swore to himself it would be enough. This was more than he ever expected to have. He would take it. A second with Timofey was worth more than an hour with anyone else. Jordan would make the memories last. He had to.

Chapter Six

Timofey had watched Jordan do his chores so many times, it was nothing to run through the process alone. When Ben rounded the corner into the barn, Timofey didn’t stop working. Ben stopped in his tracks with his coffee cup lifted halfway to his lips. He didn’t try to hide his shock. “Um. Hello.”

Timofey nodded at him. “Hey.”

Jordan rounded the corner behind Ben and froze. He glanced between them. His expression remained closed. After a moment of no one speaking, Jordan stepped around Ben and moved to Timofey’s side. Pride swelled Timofey’s chest as Jordan kissed him and then went to work.

Ben sipped his coffee. He watched them in silence for several minutes before sighing loudly. “All right. I suppose I should’ve seen this coming.”

Jordan dipped his head, hiding his face. His ears turned red.

Timofey smirked. He could make Jordan blush all over.

Fedir appeared like a ghost: silent and from nowhere. “Oh good. My baby brother has done most of the work already. I can steal my sexy husband away for the day and tie him to the bed.”

Jordan groaned.

Timofey waved for them to go. “Get lost. You don’t want to watch all the awkward flirting and sneaky touches out here anyhow.”

Jordan somehow got redder.

Fedir snagged Ben’s hand.

Ben resisted. His gaze stayed locked on Timofey. He looked entirely too serious for someone who was about to have the best of days. “I need you to promise me he’s safe with you.”

It hit Timofey. Ben had already lost a son. Jordan was all he had left. Timofey had known that and hadn’t been thinking of how Ben might feel. After all, Jordan wasn’t the only one who had seen Timofey work. Ben had been there too the day Jordan had been rescued from Jordan’s father’s sick version of conversion therapy. He had watched as Timofey had beaten Jordan’s torturers to death. Ben knew Timofey was rotten at his core.

Timofey held Ben’s stare. “As long as there is life in me, no harm will ever come to Jordan.” Even Timofey heard the conviction in his voice.

Ben gave him a sharp nod and let Fedir drag him away. Timofey watched him go. He waited until they were alone before he looked Jordan’s way. He found Jordan watching him, as if he had been waiting for Timofey to meet his stare.

“I love you.”

Another smirk pulled at Timofey’s lips. He moved closer, stalking Jordan. Jordan didn’t look scared. In fact, he licked his lips, as if already anticipating Timofey’s kiss. “I wasn’t sure you’d still feel the same this morning.”

Jordan’s gaze dropped to Timofey’s mouth. “Why is that?”

Timofey snagged Jordan’s waist and walked him backward toward an empty stall. “I don’t know. Maybe one taste of me was enough. Maybe the thrill is gone and now you’re ready to move on.”

Jordan linked his fingers behind Timofey’s head. “Never. It makes me feel physically ill thinking of anyone else touching me. You’re the only one for me.”

He couldn’t wait a second longer. Timofey grabbed two handfuls of Jordan’s ass and hauled him closer. Their lower bodies came together. Timofey ground against him, ensuring Jordan felt the way Timofey stayed hard for him. Their mouths met. Jordan opened for him immediately. Their tongues battled, as if neither of them could get enough. Desperation poured through every touch—like they feared it would be the last. Pants and gasps reverberated from the walls of the small stall. Jordan’s hands found their way beneath Timofey’s shirt. He stroked and massaged, touching and pulling Timofey closer. Timofey stopped thinking. Desire ruled him. There was a freedom with Jordan he had never experienced before. People had used Timofey in the worst ways over the years, until he had grown hard and died inside. Being with Jordan sparked something back to life inside him. Jordan was his grownup version of the circus. He swore his heart didn’t beat unless they were together. Jordan’s claims about being sick at the idea of anyone else held true for Timofey too. Timofey didn’t touch anyone unless he was about to kill them. He sure as hell didn’t let anyone touch him. But he ached for Jordan every second of the day and—sometimes—he wondered if he would die for real without him. If Jordan stopped wanting him, Timofey’s body might finally drop and join his soul and conscience in the grave. If Jordan loved him forever, Timofey wondered if Jordan would eventually resurrect the parts of him he had lost. Only time would tell.

His jeans loosened.

Jordan’s mouth moved to Timofey’s neck and then to his collarbone. Timofey held his breath. He hoped he knew where this was about to go as Jordan’s kisses kept moving lower. A banging in the distance had them freezing. The loud knocking started again. Their gazes met.

“Get out here, you miserable bastard. Don’t ignore me. I know you have my son.”

Timofey pressed his finger to his lips, telling Jordan to stay quiet as he righted his clothes. With his pants zipped and buttoned, Timofey took Jordan’s hand. Together, they creeped toward the back of the barn and outside. They peeked around the corner. Jordan’s mom stood on the porch, trying to force her way into Ben’s house.

The door flew open, and she nearly fell.

“Ms. Crawly.” Ben sounded flat—like he held his emotions on a tight leash.

“Where is my son?”

They were too far away and at too odd of an angle to get a good look at Ben’s face, but his voice never wavered from monotone. “You have no son.”

“Don’t give me that BS. Just because your son died, that doesn’t give you the right to steal mine. Where is Jordan?”

Timofey bit back a growl at the dig.

“Jordan is a grown man. One you lost the right to call yours when you had him tortured.”

“I did no such thing.” The hiss in her voice sounded like venom on the verge of spewing. “Jordan had sick desires that needed to be dealt with. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if he learned them from your boy. There’s no telling what went on in this house. After all, what does a single gay man do with a young boy all alone at night?”

Ben held his calm in a way Timofey could never. “It sounds like you’re the one with the sick thoughts. Thank goodness Jordan chose a new family. You need help.”

“I don’t need help. My son needs his soul saved from this house of perversion. It’s my Christian duty—”

Water hit Jordan’s mom in the face, cutting off her vile words and leaving her sputtering. It took Timofey a second to realize he had lost Jordan. Jordan held the garden hose and doused her again before she could recover.

“It’s time for you to leave, Noel.”

“How dare you? I am your mo—”

Jordan sprayed her again with the water, hitting her directly in the face. “You’re trespassing. No one wants you here. In fact, you’re breaking the order of protection I have against you. Ben is my family now. You’re lucky he’s a good person, but I’m not. You already know I’m not.”

“Jordan, you belong with—”

Timofey smothered a laugh when Jordan let the water fly again. This time, he didn’t stop. Even as Noel ran for her car, Jordan followed, spraying even after the car door closed behind her.

“Don’t come back, Noel. Next time I won’t be so nice.” He sprayed her car until it was out of range. Then he stood watch until she disappeared from sight. Timofey moved to join him.

“Are you okay?”

At Ben’s quietly spoken question, Timofey looked his way. Fedir stood at Ben’s back, massaging his shoulders. “I’ve got him.”

Ben looked between Timofey and Jordan before nodding. He let Fedir lead him away.

Timofey turned back to Jordan. A shot of water hit him in the chest before he could say a word. Timofey blinked at the sudden burst of coldness. His shirt plastered to his skin. A huge grin lit Jordan’s face. He squirted Timofey again before Timofey gathered his wits.

An adorable laugh burst from Jordan.

Timofey peeled off his shirt and tossed it aside. He prowled toward Jordan, walking against the onslaught of water flying his way. His clothes were soaked. The way Jordan smiled and laughed made being wet in his clothes worthwhile.

Water poured between them as Timofey snagged the back of Jordan’s head and hauled him forward. His mouth came down hard on Jordan’s. The hose dropped to the ground as he savored Jordan’s tongue. Timofey never wanted to move or do anything other than kiss Jordan. Jordan’s innocent strength was everything. Timofey needed him. In fact, he imagined he needed Jordan way more than Jordan needed him. He didn’t know how to stop.

Each time Jordan thought his heart couldn’t take any more, something else happened. Then Timofey healed him. The world and all its troubles fell away in Timofey’s arms. Jordan couldn’t think of anything except the way Timofey felt against his skin. As long as Timofey existed, nothing or no one could touch Jordan. He was bulletproof.

“My man is such a badass.”

A laugh burst from Jordan at Timofey’s claim. He pressed his forehead to Timofey’s chest and hung on for dear life. His mood changed for the third time in ten minutes. Jordan’s breathing deepened. “We were interrupted.” His fingertips skimmed Timofey’s hardened nipples. Jordan wanted to feel them on his tongue. “You should come to my room and find some dry clothes.”

Timofey turned away and shut off the water.

A hint of disappointment rang through Jordan. He doubted Timofey wanted what Jordan offered. After all, he had no skill. He didn’t know anything about sucking dick. Jordan wanted to do that to Timofey, though. He thought about it more than was likely healthy.

When Timofey turned back Jordan’s way and held out his hand for Jordan, Jordan nearly gasped. The heat in Timofey’s stare almost had him taking a step back. There was something scary that lived inside Timofey. He was dangerous. Timofey was everything Jordan needed. He took Timofey’s hand. Timofey led him inside. Ben and Fedir were nowhere to be seen. Jordan silently thanked any god listening for that. He couldn’t hide his hunger. When his bedroom door closed and locked behind them, Jordan’s nervousness set in. But he knew he could say anything to Timofey, so he did.

“I want to taste you, but I’m scared I’ll disappoint you. I don’t have any experience with… you know.”

Timofey stripped. “I’ll teach you.”

The muscles in Jordan’s stomach clenched. His desire was too big sometimes when it came to Timofey. Once upon a time, he had thought he wanted Zach more than he wanted his next breath. Then Zach had died, and this man had consumed him. Now Jordan understood desire and unanswered prayers in a way he never had before. He had always been meant for Timofey.

“Don’t be scared. You’re not allowed to be nervous or embarrassed with me. No matter what, I think you’re perfect.”

His body was damn beautiful. It was nothing compared to his soul. Timofey might kill people for a living, but some people needed killing, and Jordan saw the blindingly gorgeous good in him. Jordan thought he might be the only one who did. That made their relationship feel twice as special. They were unique and flawless.

Jordan moved closer.

Before he touched Timofey’s beautiful and naked body, Timofey stopped him. “Strip and get on the bed.”

His tone couldn’t be disobeyed. Jordan peeled off his soaked clothes and tossed them toward a nearby laundry basket. Once he was nude, he crawled onto the bed.

“On your back. Sideways across the mattress. Leave your head hanging off the side.”

Even though Timofey’s demands didn’t make sense, Jordan followed each one. His bed was high, and Timofey’s instructions made more sense when he found himself staring at Timofey’s dick.

“It’ll be easier on you this way. Trust me.”

“I trust you.” At Jordan’s immediate response, Timofey stroked Jordan’s neck, as if silently praising him.

“Open that sexy mouth. Let me feel it.”

Jordan did as told. It was an awkward angle. He didn’t see how this was easier. Timofey made a sound as his cock slid across Jordan’s tongue that had Jordan’s dick twitching.

“That’s it. You can do this. It’s a lot harder to gag at this angle. Just relax your throat.” He punctuated his demand by stroking Jordan’s neck again.

Jordan took a breath, released it, and relaxed. Timofey’s cock dipped inside his throat. He didn’t choke. It was gone before he had time to gag, but his throat burned from the intrusion. Still, he had done it. He was ridiculously proud of himself. Jordan stroked the backs of Timofey’s thighs while he focused on the cock in his mouth. It didn’t taste like anything. Just skin, he supposed. The more he relaxed, the more enjoyable the experience became. He loved the sounds Timofey made. Timofey sounded like he barely kept himself from going wild. Power rose inside Jordan. He wanted to be in control.

Jordan pushed Timofey away and rolled from the bed. He didn’t meet Timofey’s stare until he dropped to his knees. The hard floor barely penetrated his lust. He would probably have bruises later. Jordan didn’t care. He wanted to hear Timofey scream. He grabbed Timofey’s cock and sucked it. Timofey whimpered. Jordan tried relaxing his throat from this angle. It burned more than the other way had, but he didn’t gag. Saliva ran down his hand as he bobbed on Timofey’s dick. He didn’t know if anything he did was right, but he enjoyed himself. Jordan savored the noises coming from Timofey. His free hand found his erection. He couldn’t stand the unquenched lust any longer. Jordan had to touch himself. He pumped at his cock while he let Timofey fuck his mouth. The act became mindless. He was lost to the moment. Jordan tugged faster and sucked harder the closer he came to the edge.

“Fuck, Jordan. I knew you’d be like this. You’re too hungry when you look at me. I knew you’d consume my soul.”

Jordan heard the words, but he was too far gone to understand. His scalp stung. Timofey tugged his hair and held on.

“That’s it. Suck it, gorgeous. God. It couldn’t be more obvious you like it. You have no idea how hot that is. Fuck. Don’t stop. Let me… I need to… Goddamn, Jordan. Don’t.”

Jordan didn’t hear a thing. As salty cum filled his mouth, he drank. He didn’t think. Jordan just swallowed. Then his back hit the floor and his dick was in Timofey’s mouth. He saw stars when Timofey sucked hard enough to steal his soul. A cry tore from him as his orgasm hit. Timofey kept sucking—like Jordan was a milkshake and he wanted to drink every drop. Gasps and whimpers left Jordan with no thought or control. He was a mess beneath Timofey. The last spasm passed, and Timofey’s tongue filled Jordan’s mouth. Their kiss turned lazy as their skin cooled. Jordan understood something in that moment. They were equally tied into knots for each other. He wasn’t alone in his desperate insanity. They burned too hot for each other. It was terrifying in a small way he hadn’t considered. He wouldn’t survive losing Timofey. Losing Zach had taken his sanity. If he lost Timofey, Jordan would die. There was no sugarcoating it. He had nothing left to give this world, and loving Timofey was the thing that kept him breathing. Jordan was in too deep, and he didn’t care. Let this kill him. Timofey was worth it.

Chapter Seven

Timofey: I hate that I have to work tonight. It’ll be late, but can I see you afterward?

Jordan: I’ll leave my bedroom window unlocked for you.

Timofey: Don’t do that. I can get inside. Don’t open yourself up to anyone else coming in.

Jordan: Okay. Be careful tonight. I miss you.

Timofey: I miss you too. Get lots of studying done. I’m looking forward to calling you Dr.

Jordan: That’s a long, LONG way off, but don’t worry. Nose to the grindstone over here. I have a ton of research papers to complete. I love you.

Timofey: I love you too, beautiful. See you soon.

There were elements of Timofey’s job that were more distasteful than others. Sometimes, people weren’t content to simply have someone dead. They wanted them to feel the knife sliding into their gut. Some people paid extra for Timofey to describe the light leaving the eyes of a predator. Other times, it was just easier to get a target alone to kill them quietly. They just had to silently disappear. No one would look for them, so no need to make a fuss. Unfortunately, those cases meant Timofey had to get much closer than he liked. He had to become someone else. Slowly gutting a man meant nothing. Pretending to like them was much harder.

“You said in our messages that you have two kids? How old are they?”

Timofey swallowed the bile rising in his throat and faked a blush. People like Luke Sommers made him sick. The guy skated a knife’s edge, pretending not to care too much about Timofey’s nonexistent children. Meanwhile, it was all Luke cared about, getting close to kids. “Three and five. I hope that’s not an issue. It’s hard to date with two small children. Most people don’t want someone with a ready-made family.”

Luke smiled. “Not at all. I mean, I haven’t been around kids all that much, but I don’t dislike them either.” He brushed the back of his knuckles down Timofey’s arm. “I like you. There’s not much I would let get in the way of getting to know you better. You should let me walk you to your car while we make plans to see each other again.”

Timofey’s smile was genuine for the first time since showing up to his date with Luke. They were getting close to the good part. The part where he wiped another monster from the planet. “I’d like that.”

They stood. The darkened bar where they had met for drinks was a place where no one met anyone’s gaze. No one would recall seeing them. Timofey was good at blending in and never standing out. Plus, it was right next to a library. People heading in and out of the library on a Saturday night weren’t the type to look at anything except the ground when they walked. Timofey easily maneuvered Luke into the shadows. All he had to do now was tempt Luke into the closest alcove. The deed would be done. Before Timofey made his move, Luke did. He pressed Timofey against the wall as soon as they turned the corner, heading into the alleyway nearest to the parking lot.

“I’m sorry. I can’t risk you getting away before I’ve gotten a taste.”

Timofey didn’t have time to turn his head before Luke’s mouth covered his. He fought not to gag. Luke’s kiss was the opposite of Jordan’s in every way. It was whiskey and bad intentions. He missed the innocence and love. Timofey wanted Jordan to wash away the impurity with his light. Luke’s mouth moved to Timofey’s throat. Timofey slowly reached for the blade hidden beneath the back of his shirt.

A loud gasp brought Timofey’s head snapping up. His gaze collided with a familiar set of light green eyes. Timofey’s mind froze. It never occurred to him that Jordan might catch him. He tried so hard to keep Jordan separate from his work, he hadn’t considered they lived in the same town, and this was a real possibility. Jordan’s gaze moved between Timofey and the man kissing Timofey’s neck. His lips parted in surprise. He squeezed the library books he held against his chest as if covering an invisible wound. Timofey couldn’t risk bringing any attention to Jordan. Jordan couldn’t exist in his world. He watched helplessly as Jordan took a step back and turned away. The hurt in his expression nearly broke Timofey. He needed to take out his mark, but he couldn’t rush. Rushing led to errors. Timofey couldn’t afford mistakes. He was already distracted. That was bad enough. He would finish this and then he would explain. Jordan would understand. He had to. The alternative was unthinkable.

Luke leaned into him. The pain was slow to penetrate his mind through his shocked gaze. “Do you think I’m an idiot? Do you think I don’t know about the price on my head? I wasn’t totally sure until we kissed, but I know when someone is falling for my BS and when they’re plotting against me. Consider this a warning. I’ll come for Zander next.”

Luke pushed away and darted for the shadows. Timofey glanced down. A knife protruded from his gut. Fury struck. Not only had Jordan caught him in another man’s arms, that man had fucking stabbed him. No one slipped away from him. He left the knife in place and took off after Luke, easily catching him before he could escape. Timofey covered Luke’s mouth, smothering his cry before he slashed the man’s throat. It was a messier kill than he liked, but he had bigger problems. Things hadn’t gone down as planned. He dumped Luke’s body in the back of the shared Hummer his employer used for these occasions. Then Timofey jumped behind the wheel. He didn’t want to remove the knife from his gut until he knew how much damage had been done. Timofey didn’t need to make his dire situation any worse. While holding his side, he drove to the one place he knew he could get help: to his brother. He just hoped Fedir didn’t see this as a reason to keep him from Jordan. Timofey had fucked that up all on his own. Now he needed solutions.

With his mind on lockdown and his heart in his throat, Jordan drove aimlessly. He tried not to picture Timofey with another man in his arms, but it was all he could see. All he planned was a quick trip to the library and maybe a snack run. He never expected to round the corner and walk straight into heartbreak. There was no way he could have guessed Timofey had been out with another man tonight. He had easily believed Timofey was working. No questions asked. After all, they felt so real to him. He had no reason to think otherwise.

A huge part of Jordan wanted to go home, grab the hidden six hundred thousand and hit the road. Jordan couldn’t do that to Ben. Anger struck from left field. What the actual fuck had just happened? Timofey had watched him and stalked him. Had he gotten bored that fast? Had everything been about the hunt? Timofey had said he loved Jordan. Was it a lie? He could have kept that shit to himself if he didn’t mean it. Jordan had never expected Timofey to say it back in the first place. Was everything a game? Jordan could also play if that was the case. If Timofey needed a psycho, Jordan would show him crazy. If he was bored, Jordan would fucking fix that.

He switched directions and headed for Timofey’s place, breaking the speed limit the whole way. Timofey wasn’t the only one who had nothing to lose. Jordan had lived on the edge of what a person could take for years. It seemed Timofey had finally shoved him over. If Timofey wanted to destroy him, he would get a front-row seat to the destruction. Jordan was done being the goddamn fool. He was finished with silently loving people. Timofey would look him in the eye and dump him… or kill him. Jordan preferred the latter.

At Timofey’s house, Jordan parked down the street and out of sight. He cut through the trees and scrambled over the fence. He had spent years working a ranch. Spiked fences were nothing. It didn’t occur to him until he dropped to the ground on the other side that the fence might have been electrified. Not that he cared about his safety at this point. He didn’t go for the front door. Jordan didn’t think Timofey would let him in. He also knew the security was high tech as hell. It was only a matter of time before Timofey knew he was there, but not before Jordan showed him he could be crazy too.

Jordan grabbed a brick from the landscaping and smashed a side window. It brought him more satisfaction than he liked. He took off his shirt and used it to swipe away the sharpest shards before climbing inside. No alarms rang out, but he imagined they were silent. The house was like a tomb. All the ornate fixtures and fancy staircase engravings looked twice as highbrow without Timofey there to distract him. Too late, the wind left Jordan’s sails. Timofey had always been too far out of Jordan’s league. He should accept the money for college and move on with his life. Jordan didn’t belong in this huge house with this man who likely played him for a fool. He should leave.

With his heart weighing a ton, Jordan made his way to Timofey’s bedroom. Everything smelled like him. Timofey’s bed was so high, Jordan had to practically jump to crawl onto the mattress. He toed off his shoes and buried his face in the pillows. The tears came slower than expected. He shouldn’t have come here. Jordan should have gone to Zach—the way he always did when life got hard. There was nothing for him here. It seemed he was just one of what was likely a very long line of men who had enjoyed this bed. Timofey probably got his kicks from running this same scam on a thousand other men. Jordan wasn’t special. Hell, the money Timofey gave him was probably fake… just like their love. He sniffed. Everything hurt. He was so damn tired. No one understood exactly how exhausted he was.

The lights flared to life in the room. Jordan’s head shot up. Timofey stood in the doorway, covered in blood and looking pale. “I was on my way to your place when I got a call from security. Don’t freak out.” Timofey dropped to one knee. “I have people on the way.” He sprawled out on his back.

Horror struck Jordan. There was a knife sticking out of him. Jordan dashed across the room and dropped to his knees. “Oh my god. What happened? Tell me what to do.”

“I told you not to freak out.”

Timofey sounded ridiculously calm despite the blood pouring from the wound and around the knife. Jordan stroked Timofey’s hair. “Who did this to you?”

A man appeared in the doorway. He was solid with shaggy dark blond hair. His nose looked as if it had been broken more than once, but his eyes were what caught and held Jordan’s attention. They seemed to change color with the light. Jordan couldn’t look away.

“I’m Ransom. I’m here to fix the window.” He motioned to a team of men waiting behind him. Three wore white hazmat suits, and another looked like just a normal guy. “These guys are here to clean up the mess and patch up Timofey. Do you know where the body is?”

“The Hummer is in the garage,” Timofey said, sounding weak. “The trash is in the back.”

Ransom nodded, and the men filed into the room. As Jordan looked on, they cut away Timofey’s clothes. Ransom looked like it was a regular workday for him. He was every bit as calm as Timofey. “I handle the security for the property. You’re the one who broke the window.”

Even though it hadn’t been a question, Jordan nodded. He stroked Timofey’s face and hair because he couldn’t stop. “I’m his boyfriend. We had a fight.” Jordan winced as he made the confession.

Ransom’s calm expression never wavered. “It happens. I’ll get it fixed.”

The man who stood out for not standing out dropped to his knees next to Timofey the moment Timofey was nude. He inspected the knife and wound with glove-covered hands. “I’m Dr. A. You can call me Corey. What’s your name?”

It took Jordan a moment to realize Corey spoke to him. The man never looked his way. “Jordan.”

Corey nodded. “I need you to hold his head, Jordan. Keep him calm.”

Jordan glanced at Timofey. He couldn’t be calmer. “Okay.”

Corey pulled the knife out. It was immediately swept away by one of the men in hazmat gear. Timofey’s jaw ticked, but he didn’t make a sound. Corey went to work, checking inside the hole. Timofey’s eyes looked wild, but he didn’t make a sound.

Jordan stroked his face. “It’s okay. I’ve got you.”

“I was working. That’s what you saw.” Timofey said the words through clenched teeth.

Jordan held his stare while the doctor worked. “You can tell me later.”

Timofey shook his head. His eyes looked more crazed by the second. “You deserve to hear it now. That guy was a child molester. He needed to die, but I had to get close. He caught me off guard with that kiss. Then he stabbed me. He was on to me.”

His teeth tried to chatter. The shock was setting in, but Jordan had to fight it. Timofey needed him. “I’m so sorry I walked away. If I had known, I wouldn’t have left you there. I can’t believe I was right there when you got hurt. I should’ve stayed.”

Timofey shook his head. “You did the right thing. If he had seen you, you would’ve been exposed. I can’t have that. Nothing means more to me than you.” A scream tore from Timofey as the cleaning crew tossed liquid onto his body that bubbled on his skin. The doctor kept stitching Timofey’s side like nothing happened.

Jordan shifted positions and kissed his forehead. Unshed tears burned his eyes. He hated this. Timofey was hurt. He felt helpless. Jordan wanted to find that sicko and kill him some more. “I’m right here. Tell me what you need. I’ll take care of you.”

“I love you.” Timofey’s words were barely a whisper before he went limp.

The doctor motioned the team closer. “I’m done here. Get him in the shower.”

Jordan didn’t want to let go, but they were obviously the experts. He slowly came to his feet and watched as the men hoisted Timofey. He was out as they carried him to the bathroom.

Corey eyed him from head to toe. “There’s blood on you. You’ll have to strip and give your clothes to the crew. Then you can join your man in the shower. I’ll leave instructions for his care.”

With his gaze locked on the open bathroom door, Jordan took off his clothes. He tried not to think about the eyes on his body. All he cared about was getting to Timofey. Completely nude, he headed for the bathroom. Corey followed. Timofey’s bathroom was half wet room, which was perfect for the ridiculous number of people in the shower with Timofey. They scrubbed his skin while Timofey stayed unconscious. Jordan moved to help. Instead, one of the crew focused on him and went to work scrubbing his skin free of any traces of blood. Jordan’s gaze never wavered from Timofey.

Corey shoved a needle in Timofey’s arm. “This is for the pain. I’ll leave a bottle of pain pills along with wound care instructions. He’s lucky. No major organs were hit. He’ll be fine. Just watch out for signs of infection. He’ll be sore for a few days, but he’ll live.” Corey met his stare. His blue eyes were oddly sweet for his business-like tone. They looked like a doe’s eyes. It was comforting. “He’s tough. This isn’t his first rodeo. Give him a solid eight hours of sleep and he’ll act as if nothing happened. Don’t let him do that. He needs rest.”

Jordan nodded. “He won’t disobey me.”

A smile snapped to Corey’s lips. He had a nice smile to match his eyes. Jordan pictured him working at a clinic during the day with oblivious patients, trusting him with their care. “I don’t doubt that. I’ll come by and check on him soon. You have nothing to worry about. I’ll leave my number for you, just in case you have questions.”

Jordan went back to staring at Timofey. “Thank you. I’ve got him.”

“I see that.” Corey sounded confident in Jordan’s abilities. That was good, because Jordan meant it. He had Timofey. No harm would come to his baby as long as Jordan had life left in his chest. The world needed Timofey, but no one needed him as much as Jordan.

Chapter Eight

Timofey blinked at his surroundings. His body felt heavy. Despite just waking, he was beyond exhausted. It was his bed beneath him and his ceiling above him, but something felt different. There was a weight across his thighs and heat pressing against him. Timofey turned his head. Jordan’s auburn curls rested on the pillow beside him. A smile tugged at Timofey’s lips. The memories assailed him, stealing his joy before he had time to savor it. The pressure in his chest eased as quickly as it hit. Jordan was here. He had stayed. The way he cuddled against Timofey spoke volumes. They were okay. Jordan hadn’t abandoned him.

He kissed Jordan’s forehead. Jordan shifted in his sleep. Timofey kissed the corner of Jordan’s mouth. He couldn’t believe Jordan stayed. Possessiveness roared through him. Jordan slept in his bed. Timofey wanted to keep him here. Everything felt right. This was where Jordan belonged. Except what if Luke had seen Jordan last night? Would he have gone after the target that would hurt the most rather than stabbing Timofey?

“Jordan, wake up.”

Jordan didn’t budge.

Timofey nudged him. “Wake up, Jordan. You need to leave. You need to get away from me.”

“Go back to sleep,” Jordan said, sounding half asleep.

Desperation rose inside Timofey. He couldn’t let Jordan get involved in this ugly world he lived in. “I’m serious, Jordan. You have to go.”

Jordan’s eyes opened. Those beautiful light green irises focused on him, and love choked Timofey. He was so in love. It eclipsed everything. His throat swelled. Then Jordan scowled at him. “I’m serious too. You need to rest. Ransom left me with duct tape and handcuffs. He said you would wake up talking nonsense, and I’d need them. Be quiet before I use them.”

Timofey stared at Jordan until Jordan huffed and rolled from the bed. With his heart in his throat, he watched Jordan circle the bed. He grabbed a bottle of pills and shook one out. Then he grabbed a bottle of water and cracked the seal. “Take this before the pain hits.”

“I don’t need that.”

The look Jordan shot him should have killed him. Jordan set the water aside and leaned over to go nose to nose with Timofey. “Listen up, buddy. Last night, I had to watch some guy kiss you and paw at your body. Then I had to scale a fence and break out a window just to see you, only to watch you come home half dead and scaring the hell out of me. If you don’t take this goddamn pill, smile, and show me the love and respect I deserve, I’m very likely to punch you in the balls at this point. I’m tired. As far as I’m concerned, you lied to me last night. You kissed someone else—for work or not—and it’s time for you to be sorry or be quiet. Either way, it’s absolutely not the time for you to be dumb. Do you understand me?”

Timofey snagged the back of Jordan’s head and hauled him down for a kiss. “I’m sorry. Give me the pill.” He released Jordan’s soft hair with more than a little regret. For a moment, he had forgotten how strong Jordan was. One of the many reasons he had fallen for Jordan was his inner fire. Timofey accepted the meds and water before settling back down into his pillows. He hadn’t been lying. He wasn’t in pain, but this was obviously important to Jordan. As much as he hated to admit it, he was scared to disobey. Jordan might really leave him… or punch him in the balls. He didn’t want either of those things.

Jordan headed for the bathroom and returned a few moments later. He crawled back into bed and cuddled against Timofey. A smile pulled at the corners of Timofey’s mouth as a contented sigh escaped Jordan. He fought a laugh as he thought about Jordan busting out his downstairs window. No one had ever breached his security. If the shoe had been on the other foot, Timofey would have done the same thing. They were made for each other. Timofey wouldn’t forget again.

Jordan’s heart beat faster than he liked. He tried pretending to be asleep with little luck. Timofey had tried sending him away. That had been his biggest fear. It was one that hadn’t been fully unlocked until Ransom warned him Timofey might wake up to the reality Jordan could get hurt. Apparently, that was a problem in their business. Jordan had learned a lot of interesting things about Timofey, while Ransom had helped Jordan dress Timofey’s wound and get him into bed. His throat tried swelling shut at the picture Ransom had painted of Timofey’s life. Jordan had pretended to know everything just to keep Ransom talking. It was strange to him now when he thought about it. He had always assumed all the people Timofey killed were bad. Now he knew they were the worst sort and Timofey had more reasons than money. He felt sick at the idea of anyone harming the man who gave him a reason to live. Ransom’s story explained so much, though. Jordan understood now in a way he hadn’t even considered before. Timofey couldn’t drive him away if he tried. They needed each other.

Without thinking, Jordan slid his hand across Timofey’s stomach. When he reached Timofey’s bandage, he nearly snatched his hand away, forgetting temporarily about his injury. Timofey covered Jordan’s hand with his before Jordan got away. He turned his head and met Jordan’s stare.

“You’re not hurting me. I like your touch. It’s soothing.” Timofey licked his lips as if he was thirsty before he continued. “Last night, when I was racing here to get to you, I thought of something. That little tourist shop on the beach suddenly sounded perfect. I realized you were right. When I’m working on my art, I’m at peace. That’s what you’ve earned. You didn’t deserve what happened last night. None of it. After everything you’ve been through, you’re owed a life with someone quiet. This ugly violence doesn’t match you.”

Jordan honestly didn’t know the right thing to say in that moment. “You match me.” That was the only truth Jordan had zero doubts about. “You match me,” Jordan repeated. His voice grew stronger as the words resonated with him on a level he couldn’t express. “I’m proud to be with you. Whether you’re working on your art or scaring the hell out of me, I’m in all the way. You’re the other half of me. Whatever life you choose, I want to share it with you.”

“I killed your father.”

Jordan flinched at the sudden confession. Timofey didn’t stop.

“I can’t let you keep going, not knowing that about me.”

Jordan swallowed. He hadn’t been prepared to talk about this. “I figured as much.”

Timofey stared at him in silence, as if waiting for the other shoe to drop. There wasn’t one. He knew Timofey. Jordan also knew his father. His dad never would have let him go. As long as Jordan lived, he would stand as a symbol of embarrassment and failure for his father. His dad had been a prominent Baptist preacher in their town. Everyone knew that. Jordan wasn’t allowed to be gay. It was unfathomable. It couldn’t stand. There had been only one true way out for Jordan.

“Like I said, whatever life you choose, I want to share it with you.”

Timofey’s gaze moved over Jordan’s face. “I don’t understand you.”

“Do you understand yourself?”

A smile snapped to Timofey’s lips. “Sometimes.”

“Then you understand me,” Jordan said, hoping to put this conversation behind them. “Someone who was supposed to love and protect me did everything they could to break me or kill me. I was nothing to the man who called himself my father. In the end, it was him or me. You chose me so I wouldn’t have to, because maybe I wouldn’t have.”

“I love you. I’ll always choose you.”

Jordan kissed the tip of his nose. “Prove it. Get some rest for me. I need you to get better. You can’t scare me again like you did last night. Being without you isn’t an option for me.”

“I love you.”

The pride that swelled in Jordan’s chest each time Timofey said that should have been illegal. He hadn’t known it would feel this way to finally be loved with the same passion he always gave to others. It was almost terrifying how far he would go. There was likely nothing Timofey could do to drive him away. He was scarily obsessed with the idea of being with Timofey until the day he died.

“Go to sleep. I’ve already proven I’ll bust out your windows if you misbehave.”

The chuckle that rumbled from Timofey as he dutifully closed his eyes had a smile tugging at Jordan’s lips. He would love this man forever. No matter the cost.

Chapter Nine

Jordan had a hard time keeping Timofey from going right back to his usual routine. With his stitches still fresh, Jordan had caught him trying to work out. Two days later, Jordan had caught him in his workshop on his hands and knees, working on a new leather piece. Jordan had discovered the easiest way to keep Timofey from doing more than he should was to immediately strip and slip on his pajamas pants the moment he walked in the door from school each day. If he was lazy, Timofey chose to be lazy too. He had expected Ben to be upset about him being gone all the time. Jordan hadn’t considered Ben was a newlywed and Fedir kept him too distracted to be upset. Timofey’s house had started to feel like home. That scared Jordan a little, since he didn’t think Timofey was quite ready for that. Jordan felt how he felt. He couldn’t control it.

The doorbell rang while Timofey was in the shower. Jordan gave up looking for a shirt. He was too curious to know who had strolled straight through Timofey’s security to the front door. He pulled the door open and found Corey waiting.

The nice smile was back. “Hey, Jordan. How’s Butcher?” Jordan’s confusion must have shown. Corey shook his head. “Timofey. How is he?”

Jordan took a step back, silently inviting him inside. “Trying to do too much, as you predicted. He’s in the shower,” Jordan added, in case Corey hoped to see him right away.

Corey nodded and glanced around, looking slightly uncomfortable. “May I ask you a personal question?” Corey didn’t meet his gaze as he made the request.

Jordan bit back a laugh. “You’ve seen me naked, so personal questions seem like nothing at this point.”

Corey finally met his stare. He looked more serious than Jordan expected. “That’s kind of the point of my inquiry. How did you end up with so many scars?”

Jordan’s smile slipped away. He refused to lie. “My father had me tortured for being gay.” It was the first time Jordan said the words aloud. They were more freeing than he expected.

Corey’s gaze dropped to Jordan’s bare torso. “Bull whip?”

Jordan nodded and motioned to the darker scars alongside the white whip marks. “And a hot iron.” He fingered the scar beneath his left eye. “Fists.”

Corey chewed his bottom lip for a moment and then nodded. “That’s good. You should leave your shirt off for this visit. Zander needs to see you’re one of us.”

Before Jordan could puzzle that out, Corey turned and pulled open the front door. Three men stood on the other side. Jordan focused on the one in the middle. Despite them all being dressed equally nice, Jordan instinctively knew he was the leader. His eerie blue eyes were too calculating. He stared at Jordan, as if seeing his every thought.

“You’re the boy who smashed through the window.”

Jordan fought a blush. He wished he had a shirt. “Yeah, I—”

“Zander. What brings you by?”

Jordan’s gaze shot toward the mouth of the hallway. Timofey moved into the room. His black pajama pants matched Jordan’s. Jordan was suddenly very thankful not to be the only one half dressed. Timofey subtly positioned himself bodily between Jordan and the new arrivals as he shook who Jordan guessed was Zander’s hand.

A polite smile touched Zander’s lips. “I came to check on you.” His gaze slid Jordan’s way for half a beat before moving back to hold Timofey’s stare. “And to find out what went wrong the other night. Are we free to talk?”

Timofey reached behind him and took Jordan’s hand. “You can speak freely in front of Jordan. He’s my fiancé.”

Even though Jordan knew Timofey had only said that to keep him safe from what looked to be three very dangerous men, the claim still took his breath. Jordan purposely turned away just enough where Zander couldn’t miss the scars that littered his back. “It’s okay. I’ll go.”

Zander cut in, stopping him before Timofey could. “You’re fine to stay. Honestly, you being Timofey’s fiancé perfectly explains you smashing in a window after he nearly got himself killed. What the hell happened?” Zander asked, switching his attention to Timofey and moving deeper into the house. Corey closed the door behind the three men while Zander continued his questioning. “This was an easy one, Timofey. Not a single soul would’ve even reported him missing.”

“Exactly,” Timofey said, cutting in. “There was no reason for a scene. I thought it best to get in close, take him quietly, then sweep away the evidence with no fanfare. He was on to me, though. I don’t know how, but he told me he knew you had a price on his head, and someone would come for him.”

“Damn.” Zander’s curse seemed more for himself than anyone. “The hive is catching on. I hoped we could take out a few more big targets before anyone realized we were at war.”

Timofey brought Jordan’s hand to his lips, obviously mulling over Zander’s words. It was such a mindless gesture that Jordan hid a smile. Timofey really loved him twenty-four-seven, even when he wasn’t paying attention. Jordan realized he wanted that fiancé thing to be real. He was young, but there wasn’t anyone else out there for him. No one else could measure up to this man. He was a silent superhero.

“Let’s move to the sitting room. We can strategize.”

Corey jumped in. “I’m just here to check your wound.”

Timofey stood still while Corey poked and prodded. After a moment, Corey nodded. “It looks good. I’ll leave the stitches in for about another week to week and a half. Then I’ll swing by to take them out.”

Zander nodded. “Send the bill to me.”

Timofey motioned toward the sitting room and Jordan stepped away. “I’ll leave y’all to talk.” He focused on Corey. “Would you like some coffee or something?”

A sweet smile touched Corey’s lips. “Thank you, but I have other house calls to make. You’re very kind. I appreciate it.” He dipped his chin and never really met Jordan’s stare. Jordan realized Corey didn’t meet his stare often, and when he did, it wasn’t for long. His curiosity piqued, but he let it go. Just as his story was his to tell, he imagined Corey’s was the same.

“It was nice seeing you again.” Jordan walked Corey to the door and saw him out while Timofey and the rest of the group disappeared into the next room. Once he was alone, Jordan stood in the foyer for a moment and debated what to do. He should probably go home and see Ben, but he was already in his pajamas. In the end, he headed for the bedroom. He had homework and Timofey needed to keep working.

It took all Timofey had to focus on Zander. Jordan hadn’t denied being his fiancé. That didn’t mean much. He couldn’t imagine Jordan ever disputing anything he said. Jordan was the type to wait until they were alone to rip into him for lying. He worried he might have gone too far.

“Jordan seems nice.”

Timofey’s focus snapped back to the conversation at hand. He nodded. “He is. He’s way too sweet for our world, but he also doesn’t back down.”

A smile played on Zander’s lips. “I’m guessing not, by the way Ransom described him scaling your fence before smashing in your window with a brick.”

Timofey chuckled. “Yeah. I pissed him off a little.”

Zander’s smile fell. “I wasn’t too happy with you either. You could’ve been killed. I need people like you on my team, but I didn’t hire you for you to throw your future away on this. We both know this is like pulling weeds. You pull one and three more take its place. As much as all of us need to know we’re doing something, I will never ask you to leave Jordan a widower.”

Timofey’s gut clenched at the thought. “Sometimes, actually, just lately, I’ve thought about retiring.” Timofey shocked himself with the confession, but then he just kept talking. “Sometimes, I think I could just choose normalcy. I could just choose Jordan. Then I think about last night and the way that guy hid a smile as he asked about my imaginary children. How can I stop while knowing what I know?”

Zander took an audible breath. His chest expanded on the sound. He released it. “I face that same reality all the time. We all do. At the end of the day, we each have to decide which way we’ll fall from day to day. But, for me, each time I look in the mirror or I look at you or one of the other dozens of other people who work for me who survived the same hell, I know—in my heart—I’ll use my dying breath to fight. Because I look at my husband, and I know I’m not better than any of the other victims out there. I don’t deserve the second chance he’s given me at life any more than any other victim out there, and I can’t go to sleep beside him knowing I’ve done nothing to change the world. If I do, I didn’t deserve to survive. That’s me, though. That’s my demon to carry. Realistically, though, I wouldn’t blame anyone if they didn’t look back from the minute they’re freed. Survivors deserve peace. Your Jordan looks like he’s owed a quiet life.”

Timofey nodded. He blew out a sigh. “Therein lies my problem. He does deserve to have a steady home filled with love and security. Jordan should have a husband who doesn’t make him pace the floor at night. He’s lost too much in his life already. Endured too much.” Timofey couldn’t stop the honesty. “And maybe so have I.”

Zander nodded. “How about we start slow, then? When you’re healed, I’ll send some easy jobs your way. If you don’t want them, just tell me. I have a few other men in the area. It’s no problem for them to take over. Then—if after taking some time—you decide you really are done, all you have to do is say the word. But I’ll always be just a phone call away if you need anything.”

Timofey stood, signaling the end of their conversation. “Thank you. I can’t imagine ever fully walking away, but you never know. For now, though, I still have some groveling to do.”

A soft chuckle rumbled from Zander. His guards followed him to the door. “I understand. I’ve been there. We’ll be in touch.”

With a few more promises to touch base soon, Timofey locked the door behind Zander’s entourage. He took a steadying breath before going in search of Jordan. Timofey found Jordan sitting in the middle of their bed with books opened and spread around him. For a moment, he stood inside the doorway and stared. Jordan was more than beautiful. He was unique. There was light and goodness inside Jordan. He was the type of amazing human Timofey fought hard to protect. Jordan’s biological parents were fools. They had created this wonderful person and yet they only saw nonexistent flaws. Timofey saw the person he wished he could be.

Without a word, Timofey crossed the room and shoved Jordan’s books to the floor as he crawled onto the bed.

“Hey.”

The laughter in Jordan’s voice made Timofey want to taste it. He overcame Jordan, claiming his mouth. He kept coming until he had Jordan on his back.

“You’re supposed to be resting,” Jordan argued between kisses.

“I’ve rested enough.” Timofey dragged Jordan’s pants down his hips. “Now I want your bare skin against mine.”

Thankfully, Jordan didn’t argue. Their pajama pants disappeared while they kissed. Timofey didn’t try for more. He just needed Jordan’s nude body beneath him. His heart required a connection. A good memory. They were building a life together. Timofey wanted it to be a great one.

Their kisses slowed. Timofey grabbed a handful of blankets and hauled it over them so Jordan wouldn’t get cold. Their lips switched between the lightest of whisks to clinging. Occasionally, Timofey would sink his teeth into Jordan’s bottom lip because he couldn’t stop. Their hands swapped between roaming each other’s body to linking fingers, as if they both held on for dear life. Timofey couldn’t get enough. All the days and nights he had dreamed of having Jordan just like this rose to the surface, making his throat swell. His fantasy was reality now. It was overwhelming sometimes.

“I don’t deserve this.”

“Hush.”

Timofey smiled at Jordan’s admonishment. “You’re supposed to be the sweet one.”

Jordan’s fingers skimmed Timofey’s body until he reached Timofey’s ass. He squeezed. “Says who?”

“That’s fair.”

Jordan kissed Timofey’s neck. “You called me your fiancé earlier. Was that just to keep me safe?”

Timofey braced his weight on his hands and stared down at Jordan. “Honestly, it’s a bit strange, but since the first time I brought you here, I’ve felt like this is our home. Not just mine. Since the first night you slept here, this had been our bed. I didn’t know how to refer to you because you feel like you’re mine. Not just now, but forever. I feel like I’m yours too. It’s like we’ve always been together, or we’ve always been married, and I’ve only been waiting for you to get home. I want to marry you. No. I need to marry you. Otherwise, maybe I really am just insane. You have to tell me what’s real.”

“We’re real.” Jordan looked every bit as in love as Timofey felt. His passion for them was there for anyone to see, and it matched Timofey’s crazed obsession. “If you’d asked, I would’ve married you the day I got back in town at the end of summer. It didn’t matter I didn’t really know you because I know you. I know that doesn’t make sense. But from the first time you appeared in my bedroom, even when I thought you were only a dream, it felt like you were mine. This is our home. This is our bed. It would kill me if I lost you.”

Like that, Timofey knew he would do everything in his power to stay safe. He lived for Jordan. Timofey couldn’t explain why. He simply met the other half of his soul and he had known it the first time he set eyes on Jordan. There had been a click in his heart and mind. He had known him. This was meant to be.

Timofey slowly lowered his head. “Whenever you’re ready. Say the word and I’m yours forever.” As their lips met again, Timofey knew everything would be okay. They would get married. His brother would likely have a fit, but then be over it just as quickly. They would live a happy life until they died holding hands as old men. Timofey would make it happen because there was nothing he wouldn’t do for Jordan. There was no other acceptable outcome for them.

Chapter Ten

Corey kept a safe distance from Jordan. He didn’t want Jordan to see him before he was ready to reveal himself. Plus, he didn’t want the other man trailing Jordan to realize Corey followed them. At first, Corey had only spotted Jordan leaving a coffeehouse. He had been surprised and planned to say hello. But then the hair had stood on the back of Corey’s neck, and he spotted the other man. He had noticed the man watching Jordan’s every move and following him from store to store. Corey had stayed on their trail. When Jordan stepped inside a bakery, Corey made his move. He intercepted the stranger before he made it inside. Corey snagged the guy’s waist and hauled him past the door.

“I’m currently holding a syringe against your side. It’s filled with enough potassium chloride to stop your heart instantly. So you should definitely talk while you walk. Why are you following my friend?”

He felt the man’s muscles tense, as if he planned to fight. Corey let the needle prick his skin, so he understood Corey wasn’t playing. The guy’s muscles relaxed.

“I’m not following anyone. I’m just out running errands. I don’t know shit about your friend.”

Corey snorted. “Don’t play dumb.” He maneuvered the man into the nearest alleyway. “You should consider being honest before I get bored and decide you’re not worth wasting my time.” Corey stuck the needle in farther.

“His mother paid me. Damn. Okay. His mom paid me to grab him. She just wants to talk.”

Corey rolled his eyes. He had done some poking around in Jordan’s past after seeing his scars. He knew all about Jordan’s family. They really were dumb as fuck and obviously wanted to end up dead. “His mom is going to get you killed. I suggest you spread the word that Jordan is off limits. He’s under a form of protection that could have all of you disappearing without a trace. In fact, you might let his mom know she should leave town.”

The guy nodded. His dirty ball cap was soaked with sweat. Corey didn’t want to keep touching him. He could tell by the way the man’s dark brown eyes were half-crazed with the need to get away, Jordan wouldn’t have this problem again. Still, Corey would keep the Butcher apprised. This guy would likely meet a much worse end than he would receive at the end of Corey’s needle. Corey was happy to leave him to it.

“Okay. Yeah. You won’t see me again.”

Corey took a step back. He let his smile speak for itself. “I know.” Even to his ears, he sounded terrifying. The guy was off and running before Corey had time to shake his head. This town was chock full of bullies. He hated it here.

Jordan fought the urge to bite his nails as he waited for the cookies he had ordered for a pool party at Ben’s. He was nervous as hell about today. Even though he had been spending every night at Timofey’s since Timofey had been injured, he didn’t know how Ben would react to him moving there permanently. A small part of him felt guilty, as if he hadn’t given Ben enough time.

“Long time, no see.”

Jordan glanced over at the loud greeting. Rhett headed his way, smiling. Jordan fought a groan. He had ignored every text from Rhett since their coffee date. Obviously, it wasn’t personal, but he wasn’t prepared for this today. His nerves were already bad.

“Hey, Rhett. It has been a while.”

Rhett snorted. “Don’t look so worried. My feelings aren’t hurt. It was obvious from the start that I’m a bit much for you. That’s okay. I can’t be for everyone, as much as I try.”

A genuine smile tugged at Jordan’s lips. “It’s not that. Really.”

Rhett nodded. He looked like such a nice guy. “You’re in love with someone else. I know. I can see it.”

Jordan found himself charmed in spite of himself. He had accepted that coffee date for a reason. Rhett was a great catch… for someone else. “You’re right.”

Rhett released a loud, faked sigh. “Ah, well. You win some. You lose some. How have you been?”

“I’ve been good. How about you?”

Rhett nodded. “Good. I’ve been…” His gaze slid past Jordan. He seemed to lose his train of thought.

“Hey, Jordan.”

Jordan glanced over to find Corey headed his way. “Hey. I’m just running into everyone today.” He motioned Rhett’s way. “This is my friend, Rhett. Rhett, this is my friend, Corey.”

They nodded at each other.

Corey focused on Jordan. “I was headed to get coffee when I saw you come in here. I thought I would say hi.”

“The same thing happened with me. We should get coffee together.”

Jordan bit his bottom lip to keep from laughing at Rhett’s over-the-top enthusiasm at trying to catch Corey’s attention.

Corey barely spared Rhett a glance. “I planned to get mine to go.” Corey obviously intended his dismissal to be the end of things. He opened his mouth to keep talking to Jordan.

Rhett jumped in again. “I can get mine to go too. We could just take a walk afterward.”

A deep line appeared between Corey’s eyebrows as his gaze moved Rhett’s way again. “Um. I don’t think—”

“My mind is made up. No back talk.” He took Corey’s arm. “We should go.”

Corey looked at him, as if questioning Rhett’s sanity.

Jordan smiled. “He’s harmless.”

“See?” Rhett said with a huge grin. “Jordan is a great judge of character.”

“Jordan married the Butcher, so I’m not sure that means anything,” Corey said under his breath as Rhett hauled him away.

A laugh burst from Jordan. That was true. He had done that. His smile fell. Now he had to hope that tiny detail didn’t kill his new parents. Jordan had no clue how they would react. He would find out soon enough.

Timofey couldn’t stop casting worried looks Jordan’s way. Jordan looked like he might be sick. His face was pale, and he kept chewing the side of his nail. Then he would obviously realize what he was doing and stop only to start again. Timofey didn’t know whether he should be proud of Jordan for worrying about Ben’s reaction to their marriage and marrying him anyways. Or if he should be horrified that Jordan obviously felt sick at the idea of saying they were married. Thankfully, Timofey knew himself well enough to know the latter was only self-destructive thoughts he wasn’t good at controlling. Jordan had married Timofey the day after Timofey asked, as if he couldn’t tie himself for life to Timofey fast enough. He had skipped school, and they had hopped a private flight to California where Zander had helped them elope without the snag of Timofey’s identity being fake. Timofey had taken Jordan’s last name. Ben had legally given it to Jordan only a few months ago and now Timofey had one real thing about himself that he also shared with his brother. Timofey had planted his first root. It felt better than he expected. Timofey squeezed Jordan’s hand. Jordan glanced his way and smiled. It felt damn good to have a real family. He needed Ben and Fedir to be onboard.

Ben carried a plate of sandwiches and a bowl of chips to the table beside the pool where they sat. Fedir was on his heels with a cooler filled with drinks. Jordan moved his box of cookies one inch to the left, showing his nerves. His fingers moved to his mouth again. He immediately dropped his hand. Timofey couldn’t take watching him silently panic any longer.

“Jordan and I got married.”

Ben froze with the plate hovering a half an inch from the table.

Fedir set the cooler down like nothing happened.

Jordan jumped in, as if he felt the need to salvage something that hadn’t quite gone off the rails yet. “It was a spur-of-the-moment decision we needed his friend Zander’s help with, so we had to fly to California, but we can totally have a big wedding later if you want to give me away or whatever.” He winced. “Now that I’ve said all that out loud, I should’ve told you before I left town.”

Ben didn’t as much as flinch. He looked calm. Timofey imagined he had tons of practice, hiding his emotions. “It’s fine, Jordan. I’m happy for you. Obviously, I would’ve preferred to be there, but it’s your life and marriage. If you want a big wedding, I’ll help pay for it. If not, then I would never expect you to have one just on my account.”

Fedir still didn’t look directly at anyone. “You went to Zander for help?”

Oh no. Too late, Timofey recognized his misstep wasn’t marrying Jordan. It was not asking his brother to help him navigate the complexities of not actually existing on record.

Timofey cleared his throat. “Yeah. I know I could’ve asked you to go to Olek on my behalf. But Olek has already done too much for me by buying my freedom, and I don’t want to be farther in anyone’s debt. I’m trying to free myself… from everything,” he added, hoping Fedir understood his meaning.

For a moment, Fedir held his stare. It was like looking into a mirror and seeing himself in ten years. They looked so much alike. Timofey’s throat swelled.

“I wish for a normal life. I want to be a regular brother and husband. Maybe Olek would’ve allowed that. Maybe not, but I know Zander will let me go.”

Jordan squeezed his hand.

Timofey glanced his way and caught Jordan swiping at his eyes on the sly. Until that moment, Timofey hadn’t truly realized how much Jordan wanted Timofey to experience genuine happiness. He wanted Timofey to be at peace.

“I don’t think Olek would have helped with the expectation of you owing him anything, but I understand if you trusted Zander more. You know him better.”

“I wish I didn’t.”

Fedir held his stare, and he knew Fedir understood. Timofey had lived through hell. If he hadn’t, he wouldn’t know Zander. He couldn’t even fathom what life must be like for people who grew up healthy and sheltered. Timofey wanted to give it a shot now, though. He needed to embrace the blessings he had found in Jordan.

“I expect you to visit more often.”

Timofey nodded at Fedir’s demand. “Of course. I would never keep Jordan from you.”

A sad smile touched Fedir’s lips. “I know that, but I’m talking about you. I want to see you more often too.”

Timofey smiled. “Okay.” He wanted that too. Timofey planned to jump into this normal life shit with both feet. There would be no stopping him.

While Timofey lived in his head and worked through his emotions, Ben and Jordan gushed over Jordan’s rings. Jordan told them everything about the private plane they had taken and Zander’s massive estate. He thankfully left out the part about meeting all of Zander’s bodyguards and Timofey proposing marriage after getting stabbed.

“Oh. I just had a thought,” Ben said, sounding sad. “We’d planned to take you to Greece when you graduate. I guess that’s off now.”

Timofey couldn’t let that stand. “Nope. We’ll all go together. Jordan isn’t missing anything on my account.”

Ben looked relieved. He caught Timofey’s eye and mouthed, “Thank you.”

Timofey nodded. He understood how much Jordan meant to Ben. Timofey fully intended to ensure they stayed every bit as close. He couldn’t fathom losing Jordan. Timofey would never let Ben lose him either.

Jordan tapped his knee. “Let’s go change into our swim trunks so we can cool off after we eat.”

Timofey dutifully stood and followed Jordan into the house. Inside his bedroom, Jordan closed the door behind them. He locked the door and then turned to face Timofey, wearing a wicked smile.

“Do you remember the last time I had you alone in this room?”

Timofey’s cock stirred at the memory. “Of course.”

“How quick do you think you can finish?”

With a laugh, Timofey scrambled from his clothes. “I’m betting pretty fucking fast with you on your knees.”

A loud laugh burst from Jordan. Timofey shot forward and claimed Jordan’s mouth, swallowing the sound. The laughter turned to moans as their tongues brushed. Never had Timofey expected this much happiness, but he would kill whoever it took to keep it. This was his happy ending. He wouldn’t lose it.

Keep an eye out for the next Kings of the East, Charmer.

Please consider leaving a review at the retailer where you purchased this book. Reviews really help with a book’s visibility, which allows me to continue writing more stories. Thank you, Charity.

About the Author

Charity Parkerson is an award-winning and multi-published author with several companies. Born with no filter from her brain to her mouth, she decided to take this odd quirk and insert it in her characters.

*Eight-time Readers’ Favorite Award Winner
*2015 Passionate Plume Award Finalist
*2013 Reviewers’ Choice Award Winner
*2012 ARRA Finalist for Favorite Paranormal
Romance
*Five-time winner of The Mistress of the Darkpath

Connect with her online:

*Sign up for her newsletter: https://sendfox.com/charityparkerson
*Join her readers’ group on Facebook: http://bit.ly/CharitysTribe
*Website: https://www.charityparkerson.com
*A list of her social media accounts and giveaways all in one place: http://hy.page/charityparkerson

Content

Content warning: This series is darker than my usual writing. Since these books bring back Zander and his fight against child trafficking, the deal in kidnapping, sex trafficking (along with everything entailed in that), suicide, and murder. A lot of these characters survived the worst things imaginable and now live with the scars. But now they fight to save people like them.

Table of Contents

- Introduction
- Author Note
- Chapter One
- Chapter Two
- Chapter Three
- Chapter Four
- Chapter Five
- Chapter Six
- Chapter Seven
- Chapter Eight
- Chapter Nine
- Chapter Ten
- About the Author
- Content