Neither
Author: Chelsea M. Cameron
Date: 2012-08-29 04:00:00+00:00
Keywords: Paranormal; Paranormal Romance; Vampires; Young Adult; Love; Fantasy
Description: For Ava-Claire Sullivan, it's bad enough that loving vampire Peter Mackintire might kill him the rest of the way. His equally immortal mother keeps trying to murder her so Di won’t lose another of her precious sons. A promise Peter made nearly a hundred years ago means loving someone will kill him. Ava's done her best to either end her own feelings or stifle his, but she's losing; he's falling harder for her every night. She hasn't found a way to free him of his promise yet, and it's almost too late. But her own terminally ill mother is dying fast, and now Ava-Claire is forced to choose betwee

One

Ava

I wake with my face pressed against something smooth and soft. It's not warm, whatever it is, but it feels familiar. Opening my eyes seems like a lot of work, so I don't bother. Instead, I focus on breathing. There is a wonderful scent around me. Something cool and sharp. Wintergreen?

“Ava?” a voice speaks in my ear. The voice is also familiar and conjures memories of a face with dark hair falling in front of it. Two eyes — one green, one blue — and a set of blacker-than-night wings.

Peter.

I open my eyes and am met by a wall of black feathers. I turn my head, trying to find a way out.

“Peter?”

“Ava.”

A little light enters the feather cave, and I realize I'm under the shelter of Peter's wings. I am also pressed to his bare chest. It takes me way too long to realize this. It also takes me a little bit longer to realize that I should be dead right now. My hand goes to my neck, where he bit me. My fingers find a piece of gauze.

“What happened?” I ask the stupidest question ever.

“Many things.”

Of course, he's going to be Mr. I-don't-want-to-burden-your-weak-human-brain-with-big-important-things-you-can't-understand. Yeah, that's not gonna fly. I may be weak, but I'm not stupid.

“Could you give me a play-by-play and not treat me like I can't handle it? I think I've proved that I can by now.”

I move my face away from his chest, as difficult as that is, to look at my surroundings. Huh. I'm in my bedroom, as if this is a normal night. Peter in my bed isn't anything new, but he usually doesn't have his wings out.

“I did not change you. Or kill you,” he says, adjusting so I can move easier.

Man, those wings are huge, and very pretty.

I fight the urge to smack him. It would hurt me more than it would hurt him. “Yeah, I noticed. So how did you weasel your way out of that one?” My neck is sore as I try to turn it from side to side. There's also a lovely bite mark from Peter on one side. “Viktor. He came with Texas and gave us a chance to escape.”

“How?” I glance up at his eyes, and he blinks. I'm guessing that's a shrug.

“He gave himself up. He made another bind.”

I sit up, hitting one of his wings with my head. “What?” This is not happening. Of all the stupid things...

“That he would avenge Ivan's death, by taking the life of the person who took his.” His calmer-than-calm voice is normally sexy. Not so much right now. I want him to be as freaked out as I am.

“That would be me. So now he wants to kill me, too.” Why don't I just paint a bull’s-eye on my forehead? Come and get me, bloodsuckers.

“He does not want to,” he says, as if that makes it better.

“And she took that?”

“For now.” Great. Just fan-freaking-tastic. My head can't think about that little development right now. Di isn't the only one who wants me gone.

“What about Cal?” Saying his name makes me want to puke. He almost scares me more than Di.

“He left with her. He will be back.”

“Yeah, I bet.”

I look out my window. The sun is still fairly low in the sky, but my parents will be up soon. I don't think I can get myself into a standing position.

“What do we do now?” I've asked him this so many times. Always wanting the answer to be turning me into a noctalis. “Oh my God, I have to call Tex.” I search my nightstand for my phone.

Peter takes my hand to get my attention. “Not right now. Can I get you anything?”

“My head is killing me.”

I don't want him to leave, but I have to take something for my head and the rest of me. He makes sure to cradle my body and let me down easy as he gets up, folding his wings so he can fit through my bathroom doorway. He comes back only a few seconds later with a glass and a couple of pills. I swallow them as he settles back on my bed, pulling me onto his chest again.

“You didn't answer my question. What do we do?” I say.

“Wait.”

Oh, that is it. “Wait? Seriously? That's your big plan? Sit around and wait like… sitting ducks?” I wish I didn't feel so crappy, because I want to be more forceful.

His fingers dance up and down my arm. Very distracting. “That has nothing to do with it. There is nothing we can do without gathering more information.”

“Yeah, that worked out real well last time.”

“Viktor knows some noctali that might be able to help. They usually try to stay out of affairs like this one.”

“Wait, isn't him helping against the bind? How can he help us if he's also supposed to kill me?” I say.

“The bind was only that he would take your life. It said nothing about helping.” That crap is way too confusing.

“Why didn't you call on them before?”

Blink.

“Usually when you ask for something, you must give something in return. I wanted to avoid that as much as I could,” he says. This does not inspire confidence.

“What is it with you guys and promises and an eye for an eye? It's very old-fashioned,” I say.

“We are very old-fashioned.” I almost snort at the understatement.

“Good point.”

I move my head so his shoulder blocks the sun that's starting to peer through my curtains. Go away, sun. I just want to lie here forever with Peter, even if I remain human. We can just stay like this.

“Why didn't you change me?” I whisper, almost afraid to ask the question. His lips find my temple, and I let myself sink into the feel of them on my skin. I still want an answer.

“Because I didn't want to. I was going to,” he says, pausing.

I move my head so I can meet his eyes. I hope he tells me the truth, and not what he thinks I should hear.

“You were? What stopped you?”

“It wasn't the right time.” I sit up again in shock.

“What do you mean, right time? Does that mean that you're going to?” This is news to me. Really big news. Colossal news.

“Would you want me to?” He brushes some hair out of my eyes.

I'm speechless for a moment. Way to change your mind, Peter.

“If that's what it takes, yes. I want you to be free.” I put my hand on his perfect face. I'd give anything for him. Even my life. I see that now more than ever. I thought I was going to lose him, and I never want to go through that again.

“You could change me right here, right now,” I say.

“Immortality is not what you think it is, my Ava. I would not choose it for you. But if it is what you want, it is what you want.”

“You're serious?” That is a departure from what he told me earlier. Has the world turned upside down? Did I hit my head when I passed out?

“I would do anything for you. Don't you know that?”

He settles his wings around me once again, and I'm covered in a black-feathered embrace. I've never felt safer in my life.

“I'd do anything for you. Even becoming an angel vampire,” I say to his chest. Even if there are three noctali that either want or have to kill me. Even if my mother dies. Even when my mother dies.

“We don't need to decide anything right now. You should get some more sleep,” he says. I think he's reading my mind, because apparently he can do that now.

I want to protest and fight and let him change me, but he's right. I need some time to process before I make a mortality-altering decision. We also have to talk about Ivan and Viktor's new promise and how the hell we're going to get out of this with both of us intact. My thoughts start to become foggy, and I can't hold onto them long enough to complete them. Something is wrong with my brain.

“I don't want to close my eyes. I'm afraid you're going to leave.” Despite my efforts, my eyes start to close again. I'm trying to come up with something else to say to make him stay, but I can't.

“I am not going anywhere, Ava-Claire. I will be right here when your eyes open. I promise.” His hand makes slow circles on my back.

“Promise?” My word comes out slurred, as if I'm drunk.

“Promise.”

Peter

I watch her eyes close again, relieved that the sleeping pills I slipped her have worked. Her human body needs sleep to recover from what she's been through. The line that connects us is back in place, and I'm content having her in my arms. My Ava.

When she wakes, she will want the full story of what happened. I will have to decide the best way to tell her without telling her too much. I told her I would not lie to her and I do not intend to start now.

***

I hear Viktor coming before Di and Cal did. It is part of our bond as brothers. Somehow we are always able to hear each other long before we see one another. I sense Texas with him as well. It is foolish to bring her, but I can tell she has him wrapped around her finger. If he isn’t careful, he will fall for her, and then there will be trouble. I know that first hand.

I pretend that I am going to kill Ava, drink her blood and end her for Di. Her fear is the only thing I feel; it overwhelms everything else, even my own desire for her blood. I see the fear in her eyes, the realization that I am going to kill her. I hate that look, more than anything else I've done. I hate that I have put that fear into her, even if it is justified.

“Adore,” I say to reassure her as she fights me. I want to tell her more, tell her so many things, but I have to make it look real. I sink my teeth into her soft neck and fight for control as her blood fills my mouth. The taste hits me like fire and I try not to gobble it in one gulp.

She whimpers and passes out. I was hoping for that.

I had her blood before, but this is different. My noctalis side fights for dominance over the other part that desires that she stay alive. I continue to drink, if only to show Di that I am serious about killing her. Any moment...

“Stop,” Viktor says, appearing in front of us with Texas in his arms.

He has Claimed her. She is still weak and has a bandage on her arm, but she gazes at him as if he holds the secrets of the world in his eyes. I have seen that look before on Adele.

“Viktor, sweetheart, what are you doing here? I didn't call you,” Di says as if she has all the time in the world. She gestures to me and Ava. “Peter is disposing of this human, but I see you have acquired one. You know that she could hurt you. She has already taken my Ivan from me.” She glances at the place where Ivan once stood, which is littered with ash that swirls in the soft wind.

“I am here to make a bargain,” Viktor says. We agreed on this a long time ago. I hoped it wouldn't come to this, but it seems it has.

“Do not listen to him,” Cal hisses. Di puts her hand up to silence him.

“We are a little busy, sweetheart, as you can see.” She gestures to Ava and me. I am taking more blood from Ava than I have before. If I am not careful, I won’t be able to stop. I have to stop. Di walks over to where Ivan's ashes are, bends down and smears some of them on her fingers.

“I will make a bind with you,” Viktor says.

“You will?” For the first time in a long time, Di looks surprised. “What will you promise?” Her eyes light up at the prospect of another bind.

Viktor grips Texas tighter. Her eyes are bright with fear. “That I will avenge Ivan's death.”

“You would do that for me, my sweet boy?” she says, walking toward him, as if she has forgotten about me. “But you want something in return, don't you?” Her voice turns to steel, and she grabs his arm. Cal wants to say something, but he won’t disobey Di.

“I want you to leave Peter and Ava alone, if only for this one day. Promise me that, and I will do that for you.”

“You will set a time limit on it, sweetheart. If you cannot do this within a year, you will end. I also expect an eye for an eye. Nothing less. Do you understand?” Viktor dwarfs Di in height, but she holds the power. She is the one who made us, and always will hold that over us.

“Yes, I agree,” he says.

“Say it. Say you promise to take the life of the one who took Ivan's.” She clutches his face with both hands, some of Ivan's ash getting on his skin.

Texas watches his face, uncharacteristically silent.

“I promise,” he says, and the air shifts. I release Ava from my mouth and cradle her body to my chest.

I have to get her home. She stirs, just a little. Oh, how I wish I could take her home and for this to be the end. I want so much to be done with Di, done with the bind, done with it all. Even if I end, at least she will be free of me. Of this.

“You may go,” Di says, waving her hand and dismissing us. I share a look with Viktor. He has done what he has to. We will deal with tomorrow, tomorrow. He is still my brother, and he will not take my Ava from me.

“Cal, come,” she says, crooking her finger at him. I don’t look at them as they leave.

“Is she okay?” Texas says as Viktor sets her down. He keeps his hands on her waist, because her legs are still too weak. Another decision he has made. Another existence-changing decision.

“She will be. We need to get her home,” I say, holding her as close as I can without hurting her, I take to the sky, flying as fast as I can and wishing I could fly back in time. I keep one hand pressed to her neck to stop the bleeding. I lick the wound, hoping somehow it will cause her blood to clot.

Ava stirs in her sleep, her brow crinkling, as if she is worried about something. I take my fingers and smooth it. At my touch, it disappears. We will deal with tomorrow when tomorrow comes.

Two

Brooke

I should have known Ivan was bad news. He had that look about him, and it wasn't just the leather jacket. It was the whole package. He looked like the kind of guy who would lean against the outside of a bar, smoking and looking for trouble.

The first time I saw him, I'd snuck out of the house to go down to hang out with some people at the railroad tracks. Mom and her latest loser were sacked out on the couch, empty beer cans scattered around them. Big shocker.

I didn't even have to sneak to get out of the house. They were both snoring like grizzly bears as I shut the front door. It was chilly for May, the summer not having set in yet. Why couldn't I live in Florida instead of in the ass crack of northern New Hampshire?

I walked down the sidewalk, dodging streetlights, my hands in my pockets. In one I carried a small knife.

You could never be too careful.

My phone buzzed, but I didn't answer it. I knew without looking at it that it was Cara. Probably wondering where the hell I was and asking me if I had any weed. She knew I didn't, but that never stopped her from asking. I never brought the stuff into my house because I knew Mom and the loser would find it and smoke it, even if they didn't know what it was. Instead of getting calm, my mom got paranoid on pot, and I really didn't want to deal with that on top of everything else.

I wondered if Dillon would be there. I hoped he would. I'd had a crush on him for at least six months and I hadn't made my move yet. He was always flirting and kidding with me, and I could never tell if it could be more. I wanted it to be.

My thoughts were those of a typical sixteen-year-old as I walked to my death. Well, not exactly. It was more complicated than that. Just bear with me.

“Hello there,” a voice said in the darkness. My eyes whipped around, and my hand clenched my knife. No one was going to attack me.

He stepped into the streetlight and I almost gasped. He was the best-looking thug I'd ever seen. His blond hair sparkled under the harsh yellow light, and he smiled at me as if we were old friends.

“Where is a sweet blossom like you going on a night like this?” He had a British accent. I'd never met someone who spoke like that before. You didn't get a lot of them in my tiny northern town. It was mostly locals who had been born here and would die here.

“Leave me alone,” I said and kept walking, but he darted in front of me so fast, I couldn't get past him. I tried again, but he was quick. He laughed at me, a sound that was unpleasant and I knew promised of something worse.

“Leave me alone,” I said as a final warning. He was asking for a swift kick in the balls, or worse, if he didn't let me walk by.

“Reckless, I like that,” he said, grabbing my arm that held the knife. His grip was so tight I couldn't do anything. I struggled anyway.

“Let me go.”

He turned his head to the side, puzzled. He really was good-looking. Given other circumstances, I would have checked him out.

“Why?”

“Because I said so.”

I tried to twist out of his iron grip. Fear settled heavily on me. I didn't get scared. I channeled my fear into action. Fear was a wasted emotion, or so I'd thought. Now it raced through me like acid, eating away everything else and leaving only it behind.

“You remind me of someone,” he said. He wouldn't let go of my arm, and the harder I struggled, the tighter he held me. I stopped struggling. Maybe I could take him by surprise. “A girl I once knew.”

He talked in an odd way. Old-fashioned. He couldn't have been more than twenty, so that sent up even more red flags. I glanced around, desperate for anything. My knife was useless, since he had the arm that I would have used it with under his power. I swung a punch at his nose, but he moved his head out of the way with lightning speed.

“She tried to punch me the first time we met, too. What's your name?”

“Brooke,” I said through gritted teeth. My arm was going numb, and I still hadn't found a weakness in him. Everyone had one. I just had to find it.

“Brooke, I'm Ivan. Nice to meet you.”

“It has been nice talking to you and all, but can you let go of my effing arm?”

He looked down at his hand that held my arm as if he'd forgotten about it. He released me, and I tried to run, but he dived in front of me, grabbing my shoulders and holding me still. I went for his family jewels, but he moved again. Who was this guy?

“What do you want with me?”

“I haven't figured that out yet,” he said, and panic replaced the fear in my blood. “Would you come somewhere with me, Brooke?”

“Hell, no.” Like I had a choice.

“I am going to ask you nicely if you will come somewhere with me. You can make this easy or hard. You pick.”

I'd tried everything. Maybe lulling him into a false sense of trust was my next best move. It was worth a shot.

“Okay.”

He nodded and started walking. I thought about running, but even though I was fast, he was faster. I started following him, which was the stupidest thing I'd ever done in my life, and I'd done a lot of stupid things. Troubled kid and all that.

“Are you coming?” He turned and walked backward, grinning at me. He had one of those smiles that promised trouble. With a capital T. What had I gotten myself into?

“You're not from around here, are you?” As I said, nearly everyone in Hartsville, New Hampshire had been born and lived here their whole lives. Strange guys didn't just show up.

“No, I am not. The accent gives it away, doesn't it?” Well, duh. “I am from a little town in England you've never heard of.”

He veered around a house and out into the woods. I hesitated at the tree line, knowing that if I crossed it, something bad was going to happen. Deciding freedom was worth one last shot, I went for the house. Maybe someone would take pity on a girl being attacked in the middle of the night. I never made it to the porch. The world went out from under me as he threw me over his shoulder.

“I like you, Brooke. I really do. But I don't want you to make this difficult for me. I've already been quite nice.” He slapped my ass and I screamed in frustration.

I figured what the hell and start pounding on his back, kicking and screaming for help. I was sure most people were asleep in bed, but maybe someone would hear me.

“Stop screaming, no one is going to hear you.” With a swift movement I had no idea how he accomplished, he flipped me over and covered my mouth with his hand. His skin was cool to the touch and felt strange. That wasn't the most important thing to focus on, but it was another thing that added to the insanity of this moment.

His front was pressed to my back, and I tried to move, or gain some leverage or something.

“You've got fight, I'll give you that.”

With another flip of his hands, he had me over his back and was running. No, he wasn't running. He was flying. His feet made no sound as they touched down briefly. Leaves, branches and trees spun past me, and all the blood rushed to my head. I was going to pass out any moment, and then he set me down. My knees buckled and I fell onto a carpet of leaves. We were deep, deep, deep in the woods. I was absolutely screwed.

“I thought this would be more private, don't you think?”

“What do you want?” I hoped he just wanted to rape me and leave me. That would be the best-case scenario. He'd said he didn't know, but he definitely did.

“Mostly your blood. I haven't decided on anything else yet.”

“My blood?” Jesus, this was the end. He was some sort of lunatic that was going to drain my body for some sort of ritual that the people in his head had told him he had to do. Some hiker would find my body in the woods in a few months. My mother would just assume I had run away, and that would be the end of me.

“You see, love, I am a vampire.”

“You're a vampire?” I couldn't help the sarcasm that dripped from my voice. I had no filter, even when my life was on the line.

“It's what you humans have come to think of my kind as. I don't know why I'm telling you this.” He shook his head and looked at the moon that dripped down through the trees. It was full and bright, almost bright enough to read by.

“Please let me go. I won't tell anyone, I swear.” I still hadn't been able to get off the ground.

“Don't worry, love.” He crouched down in front of me and I flinched back. He cupped my face with one hand. “Tell me something about you. Anything.”

“What do you want me to tell you?” What did he want with me? That was what I needed to know.

“Anything.” He tipped his head to the side, as if I was a painting he was studying to try and find the meaning of. I heard somewhere once about a girl who was kidnapped and gained the trust of her captor. Maybe if he had sympathy, or felt like he had something in common with me, he'd let me go.

Just maybe.

I said the first thing that came to my mind.

“I hate my mother. I know you're supposed to love her and all, and I probably do, deep, deep down. But honestly, you'd have to dig really deep to find it. I can't remember the last time she said she loved me. But she meets some random asshole at a bar and she's in love. They hook up for a while and get drunk and high and whatever, and I have to put up with it because she's my mom. I hate it. I hate it so much, but you can't talk about things like that. You can't say you hate your mother because that makes you a horrible person. So I guess I'm a horrible person.” The words came out in a flood, and I was helpless to stop them.

He stared at me as if I'd ripped off my clothes and danced around naked.

“Sorry.” I wasn't sure why I was apologizing. He was the one who'd dragged me into the middle of the woods to do something crazy with me.

“You remind me of a girl I knew once. Her name was Josie. You look remarkably like her, in fact. Except her hair was a bit longer, and she was a little bit taller. But you have her eyes.” His fingers traced across one of my eyebrows. My eyes were brown. Just plain brown.

“Tell me something else,” he said.

So I did. I talked and talked and talked. I talked because I was scared and lonely, and once I started I couldn't stop. I told him so many things. I told him about my mother and how I didn't know who my father was. Probably some loser she just hooked up with once. I told him about Cara and even about Dillon. I talked until my voice was hoarse and I'd forgotten about the part where he said he wanted my blood. I forgot about everything but him and me and the moon. No one had ever listened to me like he did. The entire time he stayed completely still, barely even blinking. Like he could listen to me talk forever. I finally stopped and realized the early light of dawn was peeking over the horizon. I'd been there all night, and I was exhausted and hungry, and I had to pee. Reality set in and I realized this might be the end for me.

“You think I'm going to kill you now. I can see the wheels turning in that lovely head of yours.”

“Aren't you?”

“I might. But then I might not.” He smiled at me.

“What can I do to change your mind?”

“Ah, now that is the question.” He stood up and walked around me, as if he was evaluating me. “There is one more thing I need to know before I decide.”

“What's that?” I said, my mind reeling with the possibilities.

One moment he was behind me, and the next his face was right in front of mine, our noses touching. His eyes were different colors. He stared into me, as if he was looking for something he'd lost down a well. He opened his mouth to say something, perhaps to ask a question, but then he dove forward, crushing my lips with his.

I froze for a moment, my brain trying to catch up with the ambush. No one had ever ambush-kissed me before. No one had ever wanted to kiss me that bad. His hands cupped my face, and he kept going, opening his mouth and asking me the question he couldn't say with words. That was the moment I stopped thinking and started kissing. And kissing. And kissing.

It was like all the kisses before this one had been practice. Not even that. Those touches of lips couldn't even be called kisses. They were an embarrassment to kissing. My hands found their way around his back and into his hair and all over him. My lips answered his, telling him more things about myself. About what I'd always wanted and never gotten. About things I never knew I wanted until he gave them to me.

My lips opened and admitted him. Let him in completely and totally. He could have taken whatever he wanted from me. I would have given him anything. Anything at all. Even my life.

He pulled back, and I tried to follow him with my lips.

“That was what I wanted to know.”

I was completely out of breath, and most of the blood had left my brain and redistributed. My lips were sore. He'd ravaged them. He'd ravaged me.

I'd let some creep kidnap me, take me out to the middle of the woods and assault me with his lips. Granted, I hadn't put up a fight when it came to the kissing.

“What was that for?” I asked, but he had wrenched my arm out, baring the skin under the moonlight. “What are you doing?” It took a moment for my kiss-addled brain to understand that he had my arm, and he had a knife.

“Stay still.” Oh hell, no. I tried to move, but he just threw himself on top of me, pinning me with his body. “The more you move, the more it's going to hurt, love. Soon you won't have pain. It will only be a memory.”

“Are you going to kill me?” The words were out before I could stop them.

“No, I'm going to show you how to live forever,” he said as he sunk the knife into my arm.

Three

Ava

I wake a few hours later when a feather tickles my nose and I sneeze.

“Bless you,” Peter says, handing me a tissue. Oh thank God, he's still here. “I kept my promise.” He doesn't smile, but he doesn't have to. It's enough that he's here.

“I see that.” I also see that it's time for me to get up. My head is groggy and slow to work, as if it's been stuffed with something squishy.

“I can't believe I slept that long,” I say, yawning. My body feels heavy, but not as painful as it did last night. I do get a little twinge when I turn my head from the wound on my neck.

“You were tired,” Peter says.

“You're hiding something from me, which isn't unusual. You might as well tell me. You know I don't like secrets.” I feel the lie slip away. Or at least this one.

“I gave you sleeping medication instead of aspirin,” he said without hesitation. Wow, that was easy. Most of the time, it's like pulling teeth to get him to admit he's hiding something. That worries me because it means he's hiding something even bigger. God help us.

“You sneaky boy,” I say. I'm not mad about him drugging me. I probably should be, but it is such a small thing, and I do feel somewhat better. Less like I've been hit by a truck and more like I've had a rough weekend with lots of alcohol consumption, which I hadn't done in a while.

I'm surprised my mother hasn't already come up to see if I'm awake. It's pretty late.

“Your mother thought about knocking, but she went back downstairs. She is a very perceptive woman,” he says as if he read my mind. He probably did.

“Yeah, she is,” I say, turning my head. I have an awful crick in my neck, but I don't want to move from my present position.

“Your phone has been 'blowing up,' as Texas says.” Peter hands me my phone and I see that I have a bazillion messages from her. I hit call under her number.

“Oh my God, you're alive,” she says, picking up after one ring.

“So are you. What happened?”

“It was batshit crazy, Ava. Like, I don't even know. We need to meet so we can discuss this. Viktor's here. Don't worry; he's not going to do anything.” The last part she says a little breathless. Oh, dear. If it was anyone but Viktor, I wouldn't trust them, but Peter trusts him, and there seems to be some sort of master plan for all this crazy. I don't ask her about the new bind and the fact that now Viktor has to kill me. It might put a kink in our friendship.

“My parents are at the store today. Want to come over? I really, really need to talk to you,” she says.

“I really need to talk to you, too.” About Thing Three and potentially Four. God, this is getting complicated. How many Things could one person take? There is Thing One, my mother's terminal cancer diagnosis, Thing Two, which is Peter, and then the additional Thing Two-and-a-half, the Claiming. More than enough for one person.

“Come over as soon as you can. Bring your noctalis,” she says.

“Will do,” I say and hang up.

“Looks like we have a double date. I'm going to take a shower. You just... don't go anywhere.” I put my hands up as if he's a dog I'm asking to sit and stay.

“I would not,” he says, brushing my shoulder as I get up.

I so, so do not want to be away from him, even if I'm in the next room. I hold onto the key to the trunk that sits at the end of my bed. It’s the only thing of his I can hold onto right now.

I glance at my neck in the mirror, slowly peeling back the gauze. I have a Peter bite. Mom is definitely going to notice. I can't wear the scarf again or else cause everyone to be suspicious. I'd told her about Peter being a noctalis. She knew about the first time when he strangled me and she knew that he craved my blood, but the mark of his teeth on my neck is shocking, even to me. Did he really need to be that dramatic?

Surprisingly, it doesn't really hurt. I toss the gauze, which is stained a rusty red from my blood, and undress the rest of the way. My clothes are absolutely filthy. I'll have to sneak my laundry in when Mom isn't looking.

“Come talk to me through the door,” I say as I turn the shower on. Even a few seconds away from him is too much. He's going to be attached to my hip from now on.

“How are you feeling?” he says.

“I've been worse.” Yesterday was much worse, I think while shampooing my hair and trying to keep the bite away from the hot water and soap.

Images of last night run through my mind. The one that sticks out more than any other was Peter's face as he came toward me. In that second, I thought he was going to do it. To kill me. He didn't, but I thought he would. I'm never going to tell him about that. I don't want him to know I was scared of him that way. You couldn't be scared of someone you truly loved, could you?

The hot water does little to wash away my guilt. I can't believe I lost faith in him.

“Talk about something stupid,” I say.

He's been quiet. Probably listening to my thoughts or something.

“I am not sure what you consider stupid.”

“Oh come on, anything that doesn't have to do with blood or binds or promising things or your mother.” Anything other than that.

“How about we talk about books?” God, I love him.

“Did you ever finish 1984?” I meant to ask him that a long time ago. In addition to current bestsellers, I've been putting him through the classics, too. He'd gone through most of them in his existence, but that's one he missed somehow. I don't know how, but there you have it.

“Yes, it was beautiful and tragic all at once,” he says.

“Exactly.”

I finish my shower as we talk about the book. I knew it was one he would like. Dark and raw and real. To be honest, that book scares the bejeezus out of me because it seems like something that could actually happen. Hell, I'm in love with an angel vampire. Totalitarian governments aren’t that far-fetched.

Damn. I realize I forgot to grab some clothes before I stripped down. Well, there is no way I'm putting the dirty clothes back on. Weighing my options, I decide to just wear my towel. It's less embarrassing than Peter picking out my underwear. Not that I'm ashamed of it or anything... I just don't want to deal with things like that just yet. I just got him back. Putting the moves on him seems a little weird.

“I'm coming out in just a towel. Just to, you know, warn you.” I didn't know what he'd think, but I can feel something start to rage in him and in me as soon as I say it. There it is again, like a black satin ribbon that wraps around us, dancing and teasing.

Desire.

Really? We've just been through hell, almost lost each other, and now we want to be all sexy? Really?

I push the door open slowly, hoping he's not going to tackle me or something equally crazy and also kind of hoping he will.

There he is, waiting for me. My own version of the perfect man. The thing is that Peter isn't perfect. He's far from it, but I love him anyway. I love him from the tips of his wings, to his mismatched eyes to his hair that's always in his face. I even love his dirty feet. I love him even though I thought he was going to kill me last night.

He looks at me as if he doesn't know what to say. The steam from the shower pours out of the bathroom, and my hair drips down my back. Neither of us can move.

“You are the most beautiful thing I have ever laid eyes on. In my human life or in this one.” Peter finally steps forward, putting one hand on my face. He leans in, kissing my shoulder. “I adore the way you smell.” I should tell him to stop, that we have more important things to worry about, but I can't seem to find the air to even breathe, let alone speak.

His nose brushes back and forth, as if he's savoring me. I stay still, shaking just a little because I want to kiss him so badly. Yeah, he adores me now that I'm clean. He always smells good. I don't know how that is, must be a noctalis thing. I swallow as his tongue licks moisture from my skin. It doesn’t escape my notice that it would be really easy for the towel just to slip off. My hands are inches away from the button on his jeans. I could just...

“Ava. You are making this difficult for me. You should put some clothes on,” Peter says, a tiny growl in his voice. Oh, hell.

He pushes away from me, and it's almost like being slapped. I know he has to, I know he should, but still. I want him so much that it hurts anyway.

“How can you want me so badly? You make it nearly impossible to stop,” he says, putting his hands behind his back and stepping away. I've left a damp patch on the floor, but I don't care.

“Close your eyes while I get dressed if it bothers you.” I don't mean to snap, but I'm getting irritable with this Peter. The Peter who says no. I just want him to say yes, even if it's wrong. Even if this is the worst possible time ever to make out and do other things.

I know it's dangerous, being physical with him. I worry every moment that he's going to crumble to ash in my arms, because he will if he starts loving me, but what if he never does? What if I live my whole life as his Claimed and nothing ever happens? Wouldn't we always wonder?

Maybe the bind is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Maybe Peter can't love me like that while he loves Di. It's a different kind of love he has for her. Maybe he's not capable of the romantic kind. If we knew for sure, then I wouldn't worry so much. It seems insane that he's been with me this long and it hasn't happened. I wish Di had been more specific in her binding promises. I'm not sure if I can control myself much longer from jumping his bones. They're such sexy bones.

“I will take a shower while you get dressed,” he says, walking past me and shutting the bathroom door.

I get a flash of anger from him and hope he doesn't break anything. I wait for a second, just in case. The water turns on and his energy calms. Phew. I don't want to be around angry Peter unless that anger is directed at Di.

I put on my most comfortable jeans and a soft t-shirt. It's warm enough to wear sandals, so I put my flip-flops on.

“You might want to turn your back as well, Ava. I am not dressed,” Peter says behind me. Crap, I forgot all about his clothes, too. They're buried in the bottom of my dresser in the back so Mom doesn't find them if she goes to put laundry away.

“Okay, they're closed,” I say.

He spots my lie right away. “Are they?”

No, they aren't. I sigh and close them. He's too good. I hear him walk across the carpet and lean down to pick out clothes. The towel drops and my breath catches in my throat. Sweet Jesus. I've never seen Peter naked, but not because I don't want to. He just seems oddly modest for someone who's immortal. The rest of them don’t seem to have the same qualms, especially Cal. I shiver when I think of his name.

His boxers slide over his skin with the most delicious sound. I'm only able to hear it because of the increased senses I acquired when he Claimed me. I was usually glad for the increased hearing, but this is sweet torture, and I have to bite my lip and try really hard not to open my eyes.

“Are you all modest? I really don't feel like you are, seeing as how little value you put on clothes. Well, all of you except Cal.” The bastard.

“I am not modest with anyone but you, Ava,” he says as he pulls his pants on. “It is only self-preservation. You make me want to do so many things that I do not think you are ready for. That I do not think I am ready for.”

“You mean sex?” There, I said it. We need to get that out in the open. “Is it because of the bind?”

“Partially,” he says, putting his shirt over his head. “I do not think it is a good idea to be involved... that way when there are so many complications.”

“But there will always be complications. This whole relationship is a complication.” My eyes are still closed, but I know he's dressed so I open them. Even without the wings, he's a magnificent specimen.

“I know. I just don't think now is the right time.”

“You don't think it's ever the right time for anything,” I say, trying not to pout. I'm whining, but I can't seem to help myself. If he wasn't so damn good-looking things would be so much easier.

“I know,” he says, walking over and kissing my forehead. “That's why I'm the one who has to say no.”

I sigh heavily and cross my eyes at him. I hope he's going to smile and kiss my lips, but he doesn't.

“Your mother is about to come up. I will be on the roof,” he says, and without further ado, is out the window. Seconds later my mother pokes her head in the door. She's sans wig today, just a scarf on her head. She must be gardening, seeing as how her knees are covered in dirt.

“Hey, ma fleur, you're sleeping late again. You feel okay?”

“Yeah, I'm good,” I say, keeping my head turned away from her so she can't see the bite on my neck. Peter was good enough to do it low, almost where my neck meets my shoulder. Still, I'm going to have to find a way to hide it. Or grow a pair and tell her, but that's going to require a long explanation I'm not sure I'm ready to give.

“You want some pancakes?”

“Thanks, but Tex and I are going out. Is that okay?” I feel horrible for turning down her pancakes, but I have to talk to Tex. She's the only one who will give the play-by-play of last night that I need. I also need to talk to Viktor.

“Oh, that sounds like fun. I finally got in touch with the girls, and they're coming over this afternoon.” I almost wrench my head around to meet her eyes, but I don't.

“You sure?”

She nods. “Absolutely.”

“Do you want me to leave?”

“No, baby, you don't have to leave. You can stay if you want. It's your house and I'm sure they would love to see you.”

I haven't seen her friends in a long time. Before her terminal cancer diagnosis, I saw them nearly every week for some sort of get-together so they could complain about the school board, kids, stretch marks, and other mom things. Mom has other things on her mind now.

I'm not sure if I want to be around today, but I know Mom will need the support. Dad will be no help and he'll probably hide in his office like he usually does when they get together. What is it about men and groups of women? It's like they're allergic to them or there's too much estrogen for them to take or something.

“Okay, well I'll be home later. You making them lunch?” I ask.

“I thought I'd do pasta salad. You want to help?”

I grin at her. “What kind of question is that? Of course I do.”

“Oh, good. I don't want to infringe on your friend time.” It isn't really friend time, but I can't tell her that. She took the Peter-being-immortal Thing Two and Two-and-a-half well, but I don't think she'll take this well. Yay for Things Three and Four.

“You could never do that,” I say. I want to get up and hug her, so I pull my wet hair over my neck.

“You sure you're okay?” she says, studying my face.

“Yeah, just tired.”

“Did you stay up late reading again?”

“Uh huh.” God, I'm a bad liar. I can tell from her tone that she knows I'm lying, but doesn't know exactly what I've been up to.

“Don't feel like you have to rush back. Have fun with Tex. Tell her I miss seeing her.” Yeah, I miss having Tex over, too. Maybe it's time to pull the trigger and tell her about Mom.

I flop back on my pillow when she leaves.

“Peter, why does this have to suck so much?” My ironic use of the word suck is lost on me until a few seconds after I say it. He slips back through the window and comes to sit next to me on my bed.

“I am sorry you have so many burdens. I wish I could take them from you.” He starts rubbing my feet. Yup, he's perfect.

“Yeah, me too.” I sigh again. “What am I going to do about this?” I gesture to my neck.

“I am not sure. I wish I could heal it for you.”

“Yeah that would be nice. That should be part of the Claiming package. Instant healing, now for only three easy payments of nine dollars and ninety-nine cents.”

“I am sorry. I did not know another way to manage it.”

“I'm not mad at you, so stop being like that,” I say. My fingers find the wound, poking at it. It doesn't hurt as much as I thought it would. Maybe I'm getting desensitized. That would be kind of nice, being desensitized to pain.

“I guess it's time for the scarf again.” I really should buy another one. The one I have is cute, a dark blue paisley, but I need something else.

“I went back to the thrift store and found something for you,” he says, going to his drawer. I didn't know he did that. When had that happened? “I may have gone after hours, but I left money in the till.”

He pulls out a bag from the store and hands it to me. It's the first real present he's gotten for me. I take something out of the bag. It's a beautiful green scarf in a material so soft and shiny that I have to fight the urge to rub it against my face.

“You seem to really have a thing for green,” I say, wrapping it around my neck and trying to figure out the best way to tie it so it hides my bite without making me look like I'm hiding something. I twitch it into place.

“How does it look?”

“Perfect.”

I go to the mirror in my bathroom and look at it. The scarf is gorgeous, and it almost matches my eyes. That sneaky Peter.

“Thank you,” I say, walking toward him with the intent to kiss him. He moves away at the last minute.

“We should go,” he says. I've been denied twice in one day. My ego is bruised, but I'm not going to show him that.

I nod instead and go downstairs, saying good-bye to Mom as I grab my keys. Dad is MIA, which is good. I dash out before Mom can comment on the scarf. Actually, I have a good reason for wearing it if I tell her that Peter gave it to me. Brilliant.

He meets me at the end of the driveway and gets in the car without a word. Mom is still unaware that he spends the night in my bedroom. I'm not ready to broach that conversation, either. So many secrets.

The drive to Tex's house is mostly silent.

“Aren't you worried?” I finally say, because I can't stand it anymore.

“About what?”

“The bind that Viktor made to avenge Ivan. Aren't you worried?” Has he forgotten?

He blinks. “Not particularly. He is my brother. We will find a way out of this.”

“No offense, I'm glad you got us out of there, but undoing a promise with another promise seems kind of silly.” Actually, it sounds like the dumbest thing ever, but they're supposed to be the brilliant immortals.

“We did what we could at the time. We will work it out.”

“I wish I had your confidence,” I say. How can he be so sure? He was sure of Cal and look how that turned out.

“So do I.” Grr.

The only car in Tex's driveway is hers, so I feel comfortable going inside. Still, I have this vision of Viktor waiting for us with a chainsaw like we're in some horror movie. That's ridiculous because I'm pretty sure a chainsaw wouldn't stand a chance against Peter.

“You're alive!” A pair of arms throws themselves around me, and my face is pressed to Tex's chest as soon as I step in the door. Hello, boobs.

“Can't breathe,” I manage to get out.

She pulls back. Her eyes are wide and excited behind her purple glasses. Wait a second... There is something different about her. Something, more? It's like she got a haircut, only times a million.

“What happened to you? You look...” I can't put my finger on it.

“Uh, yeah, that's what we want to talk to you about,” she says, holding her hand out behind her, as if she's reaching for something. Or someone. Viktor emerges from the living room and takes it. Well, that's a development.

“So you guys are like, together?”

“More than that,” Tex says, looking back at him with a look I've never seen on her face. It isn't that flirty look or the sexy face she tries to make. It's pure and she looks happy. Really, really happy. What the... I look at her face and back at his.

“What did you do?”

Tex nods at Viktor, giving him permission. I think I know what's coming, but this can't be happening.

“I Claimed her,” he says.

“Shut the front door!” I stare at Peter. Everything had gone to hell in a handbasket while I’d been sleeping.

Peter

Ava is as shocked by Viktor Claiming Texas as I thought she would be. We all go to the living room where just the day before I told them my deep secret about how I killed Josie and how Cal saved me. Now we are sharing more secrets.

“What the hell were you thinking?!” Ava yells at both Texas and Viktor, nearly leaping off the couch. I have to hold her hand so she won't. Her face is red and pinched, and her anger flows into me like fire.

“Why are you yelling, you hypocrite! I guess it's fine for you, but not fine for anyone else? Why are you so damn special, Ava?” Texas yells back. They are both waving their arms and glaring at each other.

We all hear the footsteps at the top of the stairs. Texas' brother is here, trying to eavesdrop. Little does he know that all of us can hear him doing it.

Texas turns her head and yells up the stairs. “Coby, we are having adult time. Now get back in your room and put your headphones on before I break them and then cut your hair while you're sleeping.”

Coby mutters a curse at Texas under his breath, but goes back to his room and shuts the door. Seconds later, loud music blares out of his headphones and into his ears.

“I don't understand what the big deal is,” Texas says.

Ava is about to scream again, but suppresses it. I give her hand a squeeze. She is not alone. She takes a breath and thinks before she speaks again.

“You don't know what you're getting yourself into. It's like...” She struggles to find the words. “It's like letting someone else live inside of you. Get inside your head and share the most intimate parts of you. Sometimes Peter can read my mind. Sometimes I get sick when he doesn't have enough blood. We can't even be one room away for very long. You saw the pain that it caused last night and you still did it. What were you thinking?”

Texas hesitates for a moment, looking at Viktor.

“We thought that it was the best decision for the moment. She is involved in our world now and needs to be protected,” he says. Ava starts to say something else, but he cuts her off. “I will not hurt her, just as Peter has not hurt you. I did not take this lightly, but I knew that she would be a target after Cal and Di found out about her. I had to protect her.”

“Thank you,” Texas says, looking at her hands in her lap. They are sitting close, but not touching. The energy between them crackles like lightning. Viktor does not know what he is in for with her. Or perhaps he does and chooses it anyway.

Adele was like that. Fiery, passionate and impulsive. That is probably what attracted him in the first place. That fire in her eyes. They also look very alike.

Those eyes go back to his face. I look at Ava, and she gazes at me. She's still thinking angry thoughts, and I get snippets of them from her, mostly with curse words. A tiny part of her, probably a part she doesn't even know exists, is relieved that she has someone to share this with. She is not alone.

“It was so weird at first,” Texas says. “It was like I couldn't control what I was thinking. I just felt things I didn't think were my feelings. That doesn't make any sense.” She blushes, fiddling with her hands.

“No, it does. How's your vision and hearing?” Ava asks.

“Um, amazing? You didn't tell me about that part.” Texas smiles.

Ava relaxes a little, but her anger is still simmering, pushed aside for now so she can share her experiences with her friend. Their bond is strong. Much like my bond with Viktor.

Ava snaps her attention from Texas to Viktor. “What are you getting out of this, Viktor? Why did you do it?” Her tone is sharp again.

“Because it needed to be done.”

Ava nods, taking his words for their value.

“You're a good person, you know?” Viktor says.

“Thank you,” Ava says.

“So, what now?” Texas says, shifting so she's closer to Viktor.

“God, I don't know,” Ava says, rubbing her eyes. Even with all the sleep she got, she's still exhausted. I wish she didn't have to go to school the next day. I cannot keep her from her human life, as long as she is human. “We have got to find a way to break these binds. If we can do that, then we'll be set. Except we'll still have to get rid of Di. She's never going to stop trying to find a way to get me. And now we have to worry about Cal.” I want to brush the dark circles under her eyes away.

“It's too bad we couldn't just stake you guys like real vampires. That would have solved a lot of our problems,” Texas says.

“Right?” Ava says.

Texas snaps her fingers. “I would have been on that Di like white on rice. But then, I probably would have staked you that first night Ava brought you to that party, Peter. I'm sorry I was so weird, but you weren't exactly what I expected. You weren't, either.” She directs the last part at Viktor.

“I did not expect you, either,” he says. They share a private moment, and I wonder if that is what I look like with Ava or what I could look like, if not for the bind. Viktor is free to feel however he wants about her. I am not.

“I should be totally pissed at you right now. You Claimed my best friend and you promised to take my life,” Ava says.

“Hey, it's not his fault. He was just trying to help,” Texas snaps.

Ava holds up her hand to make her stop. “But I'm your friend, and you're my boyfriend's brother. So I'm going to let it go for now.” Ava's speech is met with silence. She glances at me and shrugs.

“Sooo, someone needs to give me the full story of what went down. I was a little out of it,” Ava says, laughing a little.

I put my arm around her back and she leans into me.

Texas glances at Viktor before she tells her version of the story, which is mostly accurate. I interject a few times to explain something further. Texas is still ignorant of the power of the binds.

“So if you promise something, you'll die if you don't do it? Why did you promise to avenge that guy's death in a year, you idiot?” Texas smacks him on the shoulder, but flinches back when her hand meets it. “Ouch. I can't even hit you,” she whines.

“It was the only way. The only thing she would accept at the time. We will find a way in less than a year. A year is a long time,” Viktor says. It isn't, but he tells a small lie to assuage her.

“How old are you?” Texas asks, turning to face him.

“I don't remember,” he says.

“Exactly,” she says, putting her finger in his face. “A year is like nothing for you. Don't you pull that crap with me, Viktor Belikov. I know my dates.” He told her his last name. That is not something he shares lightly. This relationship is more serious than I thought.

“Wow, you know his last name?” Ava says.

“I know a lot of things,” Texas says. “So, as I said, don't you pull that crap with me.” She pokes him in the chest.

“I will try not to.”

“Good,” she says, smiling at him.

Ava waves her hands. “Hello? We still need to come up with a plan, and waiting around isn't an option. Didn't you say you had some other noctali you knew who could help? Or who might know how to undo binds? That won't want to kill me?”

“A few,” Viktor says. “I have some friends overseas who might know things.”

“Really?” Texas claps her hands and bounces on the couch. “How would we get there?”

“They will come to us,” he says, watching her.

“That sounds like a bad idea,” Ava says, shaking her head.

“You can trust them,” Viktor says.

“I don't even know if I can trust you,” she says in a small voice. I sense she is feeling that way, but don't want to say anything.

“Viktor volunteered to make the bind when I first asked him for help. I didn't ask him to do it, but we agreed that when it was needed, he would do it for me. For us.”

“What?!” Ava yells, getting up. “So everyone just thinks it's okay to keep these things from me? That it's okay to make plans without me? Screw you. Screw all of you.” She storms out of the house and I let her go. Her car door slams.

Texas moves to go after her, but Viktor holds her back.

“Let her have a moment,” he says.

We all wait. I hear her screaming curses in her head.

“So, we're just going to sit here?” Texas says.

“No, I am giving her space. She needs some space,” I say.

I wait until she tugs at our connection. I'm not sure if she's aware that she does it, but that is all I need. I get up and walk at human speed to the car. I tap on the window. She wipes tears from her face before hitting the button to make the window go down. Viktor was able to put in a new mechanism after I tore it off not that long ago.

“I'm sorry,” she says, sniffing.

I put my face at her level. “Talk to me.”

“It's just a lot, you know? Just with everything that happened last night, and now Tex being Claimed and Viktor. I just feel like things keep getting worse instead of getting better. Like we're jinxed. Every time I think things are going to get better, they just get worse. Even if you change me, Viktor is still bound. Why won't you guys stop making binds?”

“He did it for you.”

She throws up her hands and bangs them on the steering wheel. “That's what makes this suck so much!”

“We would all do anything for you.”

“I know,” she says, turning her head.

I reach out and touch her face. My precious girl.

“We have to figure this out as soon as possible. Tell Viktor to get his people here now. I don't possibly see how things can get worse than they already are. Bring it on.” She blows her cheeks out and crosses her eyes.

“If that is what you want.”

“What I want is you. I don't care how we get there, but I want the end of the story to be 'and they lived happily ever after.' Is that too much to ask?”

“For anyone but you, yes. I'll do what I can.”

“That's all I ask,” she says, finally smiling.

I try out a smile back.

“Good job,” she says. She gets out of the car and takes my hand as we walk back into the house.

“Are you okay?” Texas asks.

“Yeah, just had a little freak out. Carry on.”

“You sure?”

Ava nods.

“Ava, I only made the bind to help you, to help Peter. I would not hurt my brother,” Viktor says.

“I know. It was stupid of me to think that you would. I guess I'm not a good judge. I thought Ivan was evil and then he turned out not to be, so what do I know?”

“Yeah, what was up with that?” Texas says.

“I do not know,” I say. “I thought that his one goal in life was to destroy me for what I did to Josephine, but something changed him. Something happened to him in the past few weeks that changed his outlook. I think that had something to do with you,” I say, looking at Ava.

Her green eyes go wide. “Me? What did it have to do with me?”

“He fell for you,” I say.

“What? You're crazy.”

She thinks I'm making a joke.

“It is true. The only thing that would have changed his mind about getting rid of you to avenge Josephine would be if he cared for you.” She didn't know him like I did. I spent more time with him than I have with her. I hadn't wanted to see how his feelings had changed for her. Jealousy is a human emotion, but somehow I picked up the ability to feel it acutely.

“I thought he was coming to kill me when he showed up,” Ava says. “I couldn't believe you'd called him, of all people — whatever — to help. We talked a lot when we were coming to get you.” She did not tell me that part.

“What did you talk about?” I ask.

“The best way to survive the zombie apocalypse,” she says with a smile.

“What did he think?” Texas says, leaning forward.

“He agreed with me that the backward treadmill idea was insane and wouldn't work.” She smirks at Texas, who makes a frustrated sound.

“I still say you would have generators. What about solar power?”

Ava sighs and rolls her eyes.

“I still say you're underestimating the human race's ability to survive the zombie apocalypse,” Texas shoots back.

Ava shakes her head back and forth, her hair brushing my arm. “Not this again. Only the strong will survive, Tex. Most people will be too dumb to realize what's going on. We've been over this before.”

The conversation evolves into a discussion on the best way to dispose of zombies. Viktor puts in his part, and I add a little. Talking about zombies, something that doesn't exist, is a change from talking about Di, Cal and binds. I watch Ava as she talks. She is so passionate that it oozes out of her. I soak it up, taking it in like a drug.

Just as Ava makes the salient point — that if ninety percent of the world became a zombie, and it took an average of three bullets to kill a zombie, you would never be able to make enough bullets — Texas gasps, grabbing her stomach.

“Oh God, what is that?” she says, tipping to one side and resting her face on the arm of the couch.

“Ask him,” Ava says, pointing at Viktor. Her anger is back as quickly as it left.

“It is a reaction to the change. Have you fed?” I say.

“No. I was putting it off as long as possible,” Viktor says, putting his hand on Texas' shoulder.

“Ow, ow, ow.” Texas curls her feet up on the couch, and Viktor tries to hold her. “I did not sign up for this.”

“Just take some. It'll be better after you do. You shouldn't have waited this long. All you men are the same,” Ava says to Viktor, moving to comfort Texas.

Texas looks up at him. “Grow a pair,” she says through gritted teeth.

“Take it from the wrist. It is easier to hide,” I say. He picks up her right arm and brings it to his mouth.

“The left,” Texas says, “I'm right-handed.”

Viktor switches to her other arm, turning it back and forth as if to find the best spot. She winces as he bites, but her arm unclenches from around her stomach. I watch Viktor, judging if he is going to be able to stop. His eyes close and he focuses. It reminds me of the feeling, the rush of blood filling my mouth and how it sparkles on my tongue.

“That feels really weird,” Texas says.

Ava is watching her, but also Viktor, making sure he doesn't take too much. His eyes snap open, and he shoves her arm from his mouth with so much force it bangs into the coffee table.

“Ouch!” Texas cradles her arm to her chest. “What did you do that for?”

“I had to stop. Otherwise I would have killed you.”

Texas examines her wrist, where a tiny bit of blood drips. She wipes it off with her finger and holds it out to him. “Don't waste it,” she says, smiling.

Ava rushes to get a bandage to cover the wound. Viktor takes her finger and licks the last of the blood from it.

“Good boy,” she says, patting him on the cheek with her other hand.

Ava comes back with some gauze and bandages Texas' arm.

“That wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Too bad we couldn't, like, suck it out and store it or something. Or freeze it! We could make you blood pops.”

“Doesn't work that way, Tex,” Ava says, gathering up the remnants of the bandage packaging. “The blood is only good when it's in your body. I don't really understand it, but that's how it works. It's no good once it's left your body.”

Texas' eyes go wide and she stares at Viktor. “You know I'm starting my period next week. You're not gonna attack me, are you?”

“That is not the kind of blood we desire. So you are safe. You will smell better during those days, but I will not attack you, Tex,” he says.

“Good to know, 'cause that's really gross, FYI.”

“Yeah, I thought about that, too,” Ava says, squirming in her seat. Humans are so squeamish sometimes with silly things.

“It is not something you have to worry about,” Viktor says, glancing at me.

“Good to know,” Texas says, glancing at her wrist. “I'm going to need to get some chunky bracelets or a watch or something. How much are you gonna need?”

“Not much,” Viktor says, which is what I told Ava.

“God, it's like you all use the same playbook,” Ava says, brushing her hand across her neck where the scarf hides her wound.

“How's your neck?” Texas asks, noticing.

“It's fine, actually. I think I'm getting numb to it or something.” She shrugs.

“We should do something,” Texas says, getting up. She wobbles for a moment on her feet and grabs her head. “Whoa, head rush.”

“Be careful,” Viktor says, getting up and holding her until she's steady. I see his hands linger on her. He has adjusted to the Claiming well.

“I have to pee,” Texas announces when she's stable on her feet.

“I'll go with you. Make sure you don't fall in.” Ava takes Texas' arm and leads her down the hall, throwing me a look over her shoulder.

Viktor and I wait until the girls are out of hearing range and hear their chatter resume before we speak.

“Who will you contact?”

“I'll start with Kamir and Rasha and move from there. I have not seen them in about forty years, but that is not unusual for them.”

Kamir and Rasha are from India and prefer to stay in seclusion, but they are both at least five-hundred and have made many other noctali. Somehow they became friends with Viktor before I was changed, and they kept in touch via email since then.

“Do you think they can be trusted?” I ask.

“I would not go to them if I didn't think so. I never trusted Cal, but I trusted you,” Viktor says. The quip would bother me, if I were bothered by such things.

“Do you think they will come to us?”

“They enjoy travel every fifty years or so. I do not think they have been to Maine before, so that should attract them. They rarely leave their palace.” Viktor told me stories of their sumptuous palace and their many children.

The girls are coming back, so we stop talking before they come down the hall. Ava and Texas are laughing, so that is a good sign.

“Stop talking about us,” Texas says, sitting back down next to Viktor. “Hey, we were talking and we think we should totally do a human night. Ava told me about when you went to Miller's, and I think it's an awesome idea. We never really got to do our date. Did you have anything in mind?”

“Yes. I have not been on a boat in a very long time. I flew when I came here a few weeks ago. Would you like that?” Viktor says.

“As long as you call me captain, and I get to wear one of those awesome hats,” Texas responds.

“I will find one for you, captain.” He salutes her. She giggles and ducks her head into her shoulder.

“Gag me,” Ava whispers.

“I heard that,” Texas says, glaring at Ava.

“I meant you to,” Ava says, sticking her tongue out at Texas. “We should get back. My mom's doing a thing and she needs some help.” She twists her hands together as she does when she's nervous.

“Speaking of your mom, I haven't been over to your house in forever. What's up with that?”

Ava cringes and I feel her anxiety. She hasn't told Texas about her mother's illness, but I know she will feel better after she does.

“Tell her,” I say.

“Shut up,” Ava says, looking down at her hands, spreading her fingers out.

“Tell me what? Are you about to tell me the thing that you've been keeping from me that I've been trying to get out of you forever?” Texas exaggerates the word forever, drawing it out.

“No,” Ava says, refusing to look up. I take one of her hands. Her stress moves to me, and I want her to get it out so she will stop obsessing about it. I am uncomfortable with her stress.

“Yes, it totally is. You'd better tell me right now, or I'll sick my noctalis on you.”

“He can't touch me, moron,” Ava says, finally looking up. Her eyes are hard, determined. She takes a deep breath, and I can see the words in her mind before she says them. It takes a few seconds for her to arrange the words in the way she wants them.

“My mom is sick. Really sick. She's, um... she's terminal.”

Texas' hand flies to cover her mouth. “What?”

“She's not going to make it,” Ava says, tears forming in her eyes and spilling onto her cheeks. I want to wipe them away, but all I can do is hold her hand and give her strength.

“Oh my God. I can't believe it. I thought she was doing okay.”

“She's not.”

“Ava,” Texas says, shaking her head. She gets up and gives Ava a hug, pulling her to her feet and wrapping her arms around her. Ava finally breaks, sobbing on Texas' shoulder. Her pain rips through me, but I don't get up to comfort her. This is something she needs to do with Texas.

“I'm not mad. I just wish I could have been there for you. I've been so horrible to you, making you go to all those parties and everything. Why didn't you say anything?”

“I couldn't. I didn't know how. If I say it out loud, that makes it real, and it can't be real, Tex, it just can't.” She sniffs loudly.

“I know, Ave, I know.” Texas rubs her back in soothing circles, rocking her slowly from side to side, as if they are slow dancing. Ava's shoulders shake and her crying fills the room. It is all I can do not to seize her and try to fix it.

“Why does this have to happen to me?”

“I don't know, honey, I don't know. I don't have answers for you. But I'm here for you, you know?”

“Yeah,” Ava says.

“Bad things happen to good people sometimes and there isn't a reason for it.”

“I'm so angry,” Ava says.

“I know.”

“Why would God do this to us?”

“I don't know, honey, I don't know.” Texas doesn't have answers, but her words have a calming effect on Ava, and her sobs slow to just tears. She wipes her eyes and Texas looks down at the wet patch Ava left on her shirt. “What are friends for? To let you snot and cry all over their brand-new shirts.”

“Right,” Ava says, and they both laugh.

Viktor watches them, as if he's fascinated. They are rather fascinating. Both of them.

Four

Brooke

The next thing I knew, I was waking up in a dark place. My eyes cracked open, and my nose was punched with a musty odor. My body felt like it had been run over several times. Everything hurt, even my hair, although I knew that was impossible. I tried to move, but it wasn't going to happen.

“You're fine, love,” a British voice said. It was bright and sharp in the darkness. My eyes started to pick out details. I was in a stone room, about twenty feet square. The floor was dirt, and the ceiling was about twelve feet high. From the way his voice echoed, I could tell we were underground. I took a breath and heard an awful sound. I panicked, trying to get up. A hand touched my arm, pushing me back down. A face came into view. It was familiar, but not. I wanted him to make the pain stop.

“Do you know who you are, love?”

“Brooke. I'm Brooke.” My voice sounded different. It was clear and cold. I took another breath and heard the awful noise again. It was almost like a wheeze. As if the air was scraping the insides of my lungs.

“You don't need to breathe, Brooke. Your lungs no longer need the air. Do you understand?”

All at once I was assaulted by the room, him, the smells, and the sounds, and it was all too much. I closed my eyes, hoping it would go away. I just wanted it to go away.

“It hurts.”

“I know. It will be over soon.” A cool hand brushed my forehead. “Open your eyes, love. This is a whole new world, and soon you'll get to be a part of it. There are so many things I want to show you. We're going to see the world.”

“What happened?” The more I thought about the pain, the worse it got. I needed to stop thinking about it.

“I told you I was going to make you immortal. That's why you don't need to breathe. Look at your arm. It's healed from where I cut you.”

I glanced down at my arm. It was perfect as I turned it over. It also had a subtle glow in the dark of the stone room. I turned it over, marveling at how smooth my skin was.

“Just one more day and you'll be perfect. Then we'll see what you're made of.”

“What's your name?” I couldn't remember his name. I could only remember mine.

“I'm Ivan.” He stroked my face with the back of his hand. His eyes were two different colors. The left one a deep brown, the right green. They had flecks of other colors in them, subtle as a whisper. I stared at them and they stared back at me. I slowly sat up, putting my hands on the ground. The soil was moist and reeked of decay, dust and years.

“Steady, there.” He helped me to my shaky feet. His arms were strong, but so were mine. I felt his skin give beneath mine. “You're strong.” He seemed surprised. He tried to pull me into his arms, but I resisted. What was he doing? Why was he touching me like that? I moved away from him, slamming my back into the stone that encased the room. There was a bang, and little bits of stone and dirt rained down on us.

“Easy, easy,” he said, holding his hands up.

I wanted out of the room. I ran to the other side, which took less than a second. I tried the other. I just wanted out. Out of this room, out of my body.

“Brooke, listen to me. You can't go out or you'll die. Do you understand?”

I looked up and saw a trapdoor. It was high up, but with a jump I could do it. Ivan's words reached me.

“I want to get out,” I said.

“I know you do, but you can't right now. We just need to sit for a while.”

I looked at the door again, but his words scared me. I didn't want to die.

“Do you remember anything?”

“Anything about what?” I searched my brain. I remembered my name; I remembered him. But... nothing else. “What's happening?”

“Brooke, you're sixteen years old. You liked a boy named Dillon, and your best friend is Cara. Do you remember that?”

As he said the words, murky images swam through my brain, but as soon as I tried to grab them, they slipped through my fingers. I tried harder and I was able to hold onto them for moments before they slipped away again.

“You think you hate your mother and her boyfriend. Your favorite color is sea-foam green. You hate Mondays and flossing and eggs. You love moonlight and silver jewelry and sunrises. Remember?”

I heard his words, and they triggered little flashes in my mind. Little pieces that I tried to pick up.

Yes, I was Brooke. I'd gone to hang out with my friends at the railroad tracks and met Ivan. He'd taken me into the woods and I thought he was going to kill me, but we talked instead. He kissed me. And now I was here.

“What time is it?” I asked.

“It's 6:34 a.m.”

“What day is it?”

“It's Sunday.”

“Sunday?” I had to reach, but I remembered the night I'd gone out had been Friday. Two days.

“Where are we?”

I traced my hands on the walls, trying to feel our location. It was cool in this room, around 52 degrees. I didn't know how I could tell the temperature. I just could. Like how I could smell that no living person had been down here in at least fifty years. This was a secret place. Only rats and other creatures had been here. I could smell them, hear them scurrying around. They didn't bother me. I used to be afraid of rats, I thought.

“We're in New Hampshire still. I would have carried you farther, but the sun was coming up and I had to get you out of it.”

“Why?”

“The sun will hurt you now. Soon you will revel in it, but for now it will hurt you. You're safe here,” he said.

“Why?”

“You like that word, don't you? I am not sure I can answer that. I am not normally impulsive. My plan was to kill you. To drain your blood. That is what our kind do. That is what you will do. We need blood to function. But something about you, maybe it was your eyes, or maybe it was something else... I don't know. Something about you reminded me of her. Of my Josie. She has been gone for so long, but I always search for her. I've been searching for her since the moment I lost her.”

“What happened to her?”

“She died, a long time ago.” He looked away from my face.

“You love her.” Anyone could have seen that.

“Yes, I love her. I will always love her. Even if I could love someone else,” he said, taking a step away from me.

“Do you love me?” I asked.

“Not yet. But I could. There is another girl who — never mind. She is in love with my brother.”

“Ouch. So you're stuck in the friend zone.” I didn't know where the words had come from. My mouth said them without thinking.

He stared at me for a moment. “You are still somewhat human. I hope that doesn't change too much.”

He touched my face and I moved away. I didn't want him touching me. I remembered the kiss. What was wrong with me? I knew nothing about him, he'd done something to me and I'd kissed him.

“How long do I have to stay here?”

“Until something happens.”

“Until what happens?”

“You'll know,” he said, brushing my hair back.

“Stop touching me.”

He smiled, stepping back. “Will you promise me one thing, love?”

“Maybe. Depends on what it is.”

“Will you promise me that you will spend one entire day with me?”

“A whole day? I don't even know you.”

“Will you do that for me?”

Did I have a choice? Maybe he would let me go. “Yes.”

“You have to say that you promise.”

“I promise.”

The air in the room changed, crackling with something that I could taste on my tongue. Something settled over me like a heavy blanket. I looked at him and he smiled at me.

“Welcome to eternity, Brooke.”

Five

Ava

Telling Tex about my mom is not nearly as horrible as I thought it would be. Isn't that always the way? You make things up in your head to be way bigger than they are, and afterward you wonder what you were so worried about.

It's in that moment that I know there's a reason I've stayed friends with her. She drives me nuts most of the time, and her energy is sometimes too much, but she is always there for me. She's my soft place to fall. Peter is the one who catches me. I need both of them in my life.

She gives me another hug before we leave and promises to call me later to talk. Viktor stands next to her, and I know I'm going to get used to seeing a large, blond Russian standing next to my best friend. She is completely smitten with him, and he seems pretty far gone as well. That damn Claiming does it every time. It's almost like a weird sort of marriage. I promise to love, honor and give you all my blood for as long as I shall live, and you shall exist.

Peter leaves me at the end of my driveway and runs into the woods. I guess he's going to do laps around my house. The image of that is a little comical. Poor guy.

Mom is elbow-deep in a huge bowl of something when I walk in, and the smell of blackberry jam cake fills the air. Next to blood, it's my favorite smell. Not that I like the smell of blood, because what normal person does? Not me, that's who.

“How was your time with Tex?”

She's mixing whatever it is by hand, turning it over and over in the bowl. I adjust my scarf to make sure it's in the right spot. I looked up some scarf tying techniques online, but I haven't tried many of them out yet.

“Well, it started out good.”

“What does that mean?” she says, raising her eyebrows at me. She's put on her everyday wig, and one of her old summer dresses. It looks good on her, but she needs more to fill it out. They're definitely going to notice that.

I take a breath. “I told her about you.” Macaroni salad. That's what's in the bowl.

“You did? And how did that feel?”

“Really good, actually.”

She smiles. Moms know everything. “That's what I thought. The truth will set you free. That's why I wanted to do this. I can't keep this secret anymore. I don't want it to be a surprise.”

I glance around the kitchen, finding several half-completed dishes. “Do you need any help?”

“Could you chop up that basil for me? That would be wonderful. That scarf is pretty. Where did that come from?”

“Peter,” I say.

She slides one end through her fingers. “Matches your eyes.”

“Yeah.” I pull the cutting board and knife closer, rolling the fragrant leaves so they make ribbons when I slice them. “Where's Dad?”

“Off doing something secretive again,” she says, smiling and shaking her head. I can only imagine. “Aj called. She's coming up next weekend.”

“Awesome.” I can’t wait to see more of Aj. She's my reality check in all the crazy. Somehow she and Dad have completely opposite personalities. If only they could switch. Now that would be awesome.

“Where's Peter?” Mom says.

“Probably running in the woods. He really likes to run.”

“Not flying?”

“He would, but he doesn't like to be that far from me,” I admit as I stare at the basil. She's getting dangerously close to revealing the fact that he sleeps with me every night.

She moves to stir something bubbling on the stove. “He can stay if he wants. I don't mind.”

I shrug. “He's okay. I like to give him his space. He can't be with me all the time.” Oh, he most certainly could, but that would be a little excessive. Perfect, but excessive.

“Okay then. They should be here in a half an hour,” she says, looking at the clock.

I want to make myself scarce for that part of the day. I actually have crap tons of homework I've been neglecting as of late.

“Do you mind if I stay in my room?” I say as I carefully slice the basil into ribbons.

“Of course, ma fleur, do whatever you feel comfortable with.”

I give her a hug and she kisses my forehead. I finish up the basil and toss it in with the rest of the pasta salad.

“I've got a ton of homework to do, so I think I'm going to work on that. You sure you don't need any more help?”

“No, I'm fine. Enjoy your homework.”

I pretend to shoot myself in the head. “Yeah, right.”

Peter is waiting for me, my homework already spread out and waiting for me. Aw, how sweet. It's not roses, but I'll take it.

“You going to do it for me, too?” I say, shutting the door.

“No, but I thought I could help you a little.”

“I guess,” I say, moving some of the papers so I can sit.

“How are you feeling?”

I tip my hand from side to side. I think the shock of the night before hasn't settled over me yet. I'm sure I'll freak out about it later.

“You should do something to take your mind off it.”

Like make out with him? Yes, please. I lean toward him, but he leans back and holds a notebook in front of his face.

“Haha. You're hilarious. What, am I not allowed to kiss you now?”

“I think it is wiser to let things cool off for a little while, don't you think?”

I think it's a terrible idea. Peter's kisses are one of the things I look forward to all day.

“I guess,” I say, pulling back. I don't want him to know I'm upset about it. He can probably sense it anyway. Stupid mind reading. At least it's selective. I couldn't stand it if he could read my mind all the time.

I get down to my homework as Peter reads some of my books. Somehow I got him into Jane Austen, and he is making his way through an omnibus edition of her books I found at the library, but every now and then he helps me with a problem or a passage in a book. He's the best tutor I've ever had.

“How am I going to learn this so I can take my stupid exam?” I say as I wrestle with a geometry worksheet.

“I have faith in you,” he says, turning a page. I wish I had so much faith in me. I have faith in him, but it isn't the same thing.

I hear laughter from downstairs. That's encouraging. I've been eavesdropping without trying to eavesdrop. I've heard snatches of their chat and as far as I know, Mom hasn't gotten to the bad part yet. I really don't want to hear that part, but I know I probably will.

The laughter downstairs fades naturally, and I hear my mother's voice. Oh, shit. Peter looks up from his book, knowing exactly what's going on. I want to block my ears, but I can't.

“I have something to tell you. I'm still sick. I know I told you it was in remission, but it's not. The cancer is back and it's not getting better. I'm terminal.”

It's awful. The silence that follows her declaration is stunning. The biggest, loudest silence that I've ever heard in my life. Almost as big as the silence when she told me.

I hear crying, but I can't tell who it's coming from since there are five women down there and they all pretty much sound the same when they cry. Peter grips my hand tight, making the bones crunch together. I'd rather he break it than let go. With my sensitive hearing, it's like having them right beside me.

The crying gets worse, and I can hear Mom trying to soothe them. I should be down there, but I can't make myself move. I can't walk into that tornado of grief. I've got enough as it is. A few more moments of this and it's going to tear me apart.

“It will be over soon,” Peter says, kissing my hand. I just want him to take me away, right then and there. Fly me to somewhere else, anywhere else.

I hear Mom walking around, and I bet she's giving out hugs and bits of advice, because that's what she does. She gives and gives and gives. The world should have more people like her, not less.

I can't force my attention back to my homework. Peter shoves it aside and pulls me into his arms.

“Shhh,” he says, rocking me. I don't want to cry, but it's hard not to. I don't know when I became such a crier, but I've shed more tears in the past two years of my life than in the fifteen prior. Almost sixteen. I'll be eighteen on September 2. I don't know if she'll be around for that birthday. It will be my first as an adult, and it might be the first without her, a little more than three months away.

I hear another car in the driveway. Must be Dad. God, he has no idea what he's getting himself into. The door opens and he hesitantly asks what's going on, and Mom says in her calm voice that she told them about her diagnosis. Whatever plan he had about surprising her is squashed as he goes to hug her. She doesn't cry. She never cries in front of anyone anymore.

“Will you take me out for a few minutes?” I ask Peter.

“Of course.” Peter slides out of his shirt and I think for a moment about losing myself in him. In the feel of his skin under my hands, his smell and those eyes. I try to catch them, to let him pull me in, but he looks away and holds his arms out to me. I throw myself into them gratefully, and we're out the window.

***

We're only out for a few minutes when I start feeling the tug of guilt. What kind of daughter am I? A terrible one, that's what.

“Take me back,” I say, tapping Peter's shoulder. I can't be happy in my heaven when my mother is down there in hell. “I can't leave her to face this alone.”

Peter doesn't say a word and banks left, spiraling toward the house and landing gently on the roof before popping me back through the window.

“I will be waiting for you.”

“I love you,” I say. Most of the time those three little words terrify me, but in this moment, I'm not afraid of them.

“I cherish you, Ava-Claire.” Who needs love when you can have that?

The voices are tearful as I walk down the stairs. Mom's friends all have red eyes and are clutching each other. Mae and Liz look like they're at her funeral already. Mom instantly sees me and pulls me into her arms, popping a smile on her face. Effortlessly.

“We're going to be okay, right Ava-Claire? Everything is going to work out. Hm?”

I nod and put my head on her shoulder. One by one her friends come to hug me: Helen, Mae, June, and Liz. Dad stands back, and I can tell he's doing whatever he can not to cry and doing a terrible job of it. One tear rolls down his face.

The smell of their blood is flooding the room, and it's all I can do not to bite all of them. I'm a human vampire. Pretty effed up, if I say so myself.

Somehow we all end up in one giant hug, and then someone starts laughing — I don't know who — and then we're all laughing and wiping our eyes. I hold my breath.

“So much for the cake,” Mom says.

“It's fine. We'll take it home,” Mae says. The rest nod and start cutting the cake in pieces, digging out our Tupperware and promising to bring the containers back.

“I don't need them. Have them,” Mom says, her arm still around my shoulders. I want to scream that we certainly do need the Tupperware. She will need it; she isn't dead yet. I can’t, because soon she won’t, and I am not sure if I will.

“No, no, we'll bring it back,” they all say.

As soon as they can, they all make their exit, giving Mom more hugs and promising to call and stop by and so on and so forth. They start talking about a movie night or shopping trip. I don't think those things are going to happen. People say things to your face, but when it comes down to it, most of them don't follow through. I hope they will. She needs them. Everyone needs friends, especially in a time like this.

“Phew,” she says when they finally drive down the road. “That was more intense than I thought it would be. Now just wait, the phone's going to start ringing.”

Her prophecy comes true a half hour later. Now that everyone has cell phones, Facebook and whatever else, news travels faster than fire.

We all sort of stare at each other, and Dad goes to answer it.

He says hello and rolls his eyes. “Yes, hi Marion. Yes, I know. Uh huh.” He mimes shooting himself in the head, and Mom and I gave him sympathetic looks. This is going to get old fast.

Mom turns to me as Dad tries to get Marion off the phone as quickly as possible. “Well, the cat's out of the bag now. I'm going out to the garden. If he wants, put the phone off the hook.”

With that, she's out the door, grabbing her sun hat on the way. Dad is still knee-deep in sharing sympathies with Marion, who is the secretary at the elementary school Mom worked at. I wave to Dad and go back upstairs. Hell, I need a nap.

Peter has his arms spread out when I open the door, and I climb into them and shut my eyes. I don't care that I still have my clothes on, and it's the middle of the day and I’m too old for naps. I'll worry about everything that needs to be worried about tomorrow. I'm done for today.

Peter

Humans have too many emotions, I decide while Ava is sleeping. Too many complications. I had not realized how quiet the noctalis life is until I started sharing hers.

I hesitate to leave her while she is sleeping, but I do use her phone to call Viktor. He made contact with Rasha and Kamir.

“Will they come?”

“It might be a few days. They are not fond of air travel, and it will take time to ready their boat.”

Rasha's noctalis form is that of a crow. Her wings are small, but they rival mine for quickness. Kamir's form is that of jaguar. They are a matched pair in their other forms, even though she is a creature of the sky and he was a creature of the land. They never part, even though she misses the sky terribly. Or so Viktor has told me.

Part of me considers what Ava will be like if I change her. What her form will be. An image of her with white gossamer wings flits through my mind, but it is gone before I can grab onto it. I promised I would do it if she wanted. She is not ready. I am not sure if she is aware, but her hesitancy overwhelms her assertion that she is. I'm not sure if you are ever ready for immortality, if there is any way to prepare. I was not prepared, and I would take it back if I could. I still hold out a tiny thread of hope that she will end me, but I would still rather be chained to her. Being Ava's prisoner is better than being free.

“How is Texas?” I ask Viktor.

“She is doing well. How is Ava?”

“Well.”

“Who are you talking to?” Texas' sleepy voice says in the background.

“Peter,” Viktor says, leaning to talk to her.

“Hey, Peter,” she says. I can tell she is tired.

“You can go to sleep. I am not leaving,” Viktor says, his voice full of tenderness.

“Promise?”

“I promise.” She mutters something, and he gets back on the line with me. “I will see you tomorrow. I too must stay near the school now.”

“See you tomorrow.”

I hang up and set the phone back on Ava's nightstand. Her eyes flutter and I stop moving so I won’t wake her.

“Don't go,” she says, one of her hands reaching out.

I twine it with mine and she relaxes. I sense her dream distress, but I can't read her mind to see what is wrong. The mind reading seems to come when I least expect it. I turn our hands over, studying hers entwined with mine. I want to keep it there. Always.

Six

Brooke

The pain consumed me for hours, escalating until it was all I could see, hear and taste.

It was bright and hot like metal.

When I finally opened my eyes, I could see everything, as if the world was connected by tiny threads that I never knew existed. I could hear the earth shifting. The air was not transparent at all. It was filled with all kinds of things.

“Hello again, Brooke,” Ivan's voice said.

I turned and saw him standing against the wall. He was even more flawless than when I'd seen him last, if that was possible. I could see the lines of his face, his hair, his eyes, everything with a clarity that would have been too much for me before.

“Hi, Ivan.” My voice sounded different, too. He was staring at me. Well, not at me. Behind me.

“What beautiful wings you have, love,” Ivan said.

I reach my hand back and touch them. Although they were thin, they were made of a strong membrane that would not tear, even in a hurricane. I followed them to where they attached to my back. They blended into my skin without stopping. They were a part of me. My shirt had shredded from where they'd ripped through it, so it was no more than tatters. My bra was still intact, so he hadn't seen the rest of me.

“Where did they come from?”

“Wherever we come from. I don't know.”

“Do you have them?”

“No. I am different.”

“Show me.”

He took off his shirt, and even though it was dark, I could see his skin as it shifted from human skin to greenish scales. He stuck out a now-forked tongue at me.

“You're much prettier, love.”

I walked toward him and put my hand on his face, just to feel. It was like touching a snake, but the scales still retained some of the feel of skin. They were soft somehow. They had a tiny bit of sparkle. He shifted back to his human face.

“Can I go outside now?”

“Of course.”

He gestured to the trapdoor, and I flung it open. If I would have still been human, I would have been blinded. The sun was glorious. It filled me up with light and brightness, and I thought I would burst from one more second of it.

“We need the sun to live, you see. Those vampire stories are all fiction.”

I wanted to take off my clothes so I could take in more of it. I wanted to bathe in it for eternity. I tried my wings out. They were as easy to move as my arms or legs. I flapped them.

“You'll be able to fly soon, I should think. Are you thirsty?”

“Thirsty?” As soon as he said it, a crippling need overcame me. I wanted something, but I didn't know what it was. I just knew that I had to get it. NOW.

“If I tell you to stay here, will you listen? I will be right back with what you need.”

I listened and stood in the sun for what felt like forever. The initial burst of it had worn off, and now I just wanted something hot and liquid. I wanted it more than I had ever wanted anything else.

A smell hit me and I knew that whatever it was, it was what I needed. I followed it, disobeying Ivan's orders. My feet carried me to where he was with a man. The man was dirty and had not bathed in a while, but above all else, he smelled of sweat, human and something else. The thing I needed.

“He's yours. Don't worry about killing him. He doesn't deserve to live.”

He tossed the man at me. He was unconscious. I caught him, and without thinking, ripped into his skin, letting his sweet, hot blood spurt into the air like a fountain. I latched into the hole I'd made and sucked. This. This was what I needed.

In the next few hours Ivan brought me three more people, until I was so full and drunk on blood I could barely move. He didn't take any, and I didn't offer.

“It doesn't disgust you?”

“I didn't think about it.” It was true. Distantly, I thought that I should care. I'd killed four people in a few hours and I didn't care.

“It is natural not to care. It will take you some time to get in touch with your humanity again. For now, you need blood and sun.”

Sounded good to me.

***

“Why did you make me promise to spend a day with you?”

“I don't really know, love. I wasn't sure that you'd stay with me after I turned you.”

Ivan and I were lying under the moonlight on the roof of an office building in the heart of Portsmouth, New Hampshire. I'd lost count of how many people I'd fed from. At least ten. I'd only been fully immortal for about a day.

“So I'm really going to live forever?”

“Yes. Did you think I was lying?”

“How should I know? You're a stranger I met in the middle of the night who gave me blood.”

“True.” He rose to his feet. “Let's try it out.”

“Try what out?”

“Killing you.”

I was not nervous, although my heart should have raced and my anxiety level should have been high. I knew those things once were, but they were not anymore. I didn't have a heart that could race.

“Okay,” I said, getting up. “What are you going to do?”

“Well, I would throw you off the building, but that might attract attention.”

“You could stab me.”

“Good idea.” He reached into his back pocket and pulled out the same knife he used to cut me when he changed me. He flipped it at me and I caught it without thinking. “Be careful with it. I like that knife.”

I unfolded the sharp blade from the handle and held it against my skin without pressing. “Why aren't I scared?”

“You have nothing to be afraid of. Fear is a mostly human emotion.”

“Huh.” I pressed the blade against my skin, but nothing happened. I pressed harder, drawing it quickly across my arm. Nothing. No pain. No blood. It just felt like scraping something across my skin.

“See?”

I took the tip of the blade and poked my arm with it. I knew it was sharp. I knew it would cut a human because it had cut me. I leaped forward and shoved the knife at Ivan. He dodged me and I lunged again. He laughed, moving out of my way. I kept trying, chasing him around the roof and trying to stab him. If I was human, I would have thought it a crazy and morbid game. As it was, I started laughing and we ran around the roof, me chasing him with the knife and him avoiding me.

“Nothing can hurt you, Brooke. Nothing. You're unstoppable.”

I felt unstoppable. I threw myself at him and we slammed to the concrete of the roof.

“Careful, love. You'll break something.”

He rolled over until he was on top of me. There was a pit where I'd jumped on him and made a dent in the roof. Oh well. I stared at him as he held himself above me.

“What are you waiting for?” I asked.

He stared at me, our eyes locking. Since we didn't need to blink, we could keep the contact as long as we wanted.

“I don't know.”

He rolled off me and looked up at the stars. I'd never seen them so clearly before. I wasn't hurt by his snub. I would have been, if I'd been human. I wasn't anymore, so I didn't get upset about things like that. I remembered something he said before he changed me. My memories were murky from my human life, but they had been coming back to me in little drips and drops.

“Who is she? That girl you mentioned. The one that loves your brother.”

“Ava,” he said. “Her name is Ava. She's... I don't know. She's pretty and human and she reminds me of a girl I lost.”

I had to dig for the name of the other girl. “Josie?”

“Yes, Josie.” He said the name as if it was the most important word in the world. He didn't say my name that way.

“What was she like?”

“She hated me, but she loved me, too. Love and hate are really the same thing. You can never hate as much as when you love them, too.”

I felt the same way about my mother. Or at least I had. I didn't know how I felt about her now. It was irrelevant.

“Where's she from? Ava?”

“Maine.”

“So what were you doing in the sticks of New Hampshire?” My human slang was coming back to me slowly.

“Trying to stay away from her. I can't have her, so I don't want to be around her.”

“Understandable.”

Dillon had had a girlfriend a few times. I thought. It was hard to remember. Still, imagining him with another girl made me want to kill something.

“What is so special about her? There are a million girls.”

“I know. It's so many things. She has these green eyes that are wide and open. They just stare at you and you feel like she can see all your secrets. I know that seems like a silly thing to say. She also speaks her mind. I like that, too.”

“Is she pretty?”

“Not in a common way. She's got long hair and those eyes. She's tiny, like you. She smells like honey and cinnamon.”

“Sounds delicious.”

“She would be, but I can't have her.”

“Why?”

“It's too much to explain, but I will tell you that a noctalis can Claim a human. It means that they will feed only from that human. It is a way to mark your territory, so to speak. It is not common, but my brother did it to save her. So she cannot be mine.”

“Does he love her?”

“He wishes,” Ivan said with a harsh laugh. “That is a story for another day.”

Seven

Ava

I have the stupid nightmare again. The one where my mother and Peter burst into flames. I'm really getting tired of it. My alarm rings far too soon. I reach out and smash my hand on the button to make it stop.

“No,” I say, rolling over and finding Peter's naked chest. What a way to wake up.

“You have to go to school,” he says.

“No,” I say, whining like a child. Why couldn't I just say no and have that be the answer?

“I do not want you to go either, but you must.” He pulls his body out from under mine.

“You suck,” I say.

“Only your blood and only sometimes.”

I laugh on my way to the bathroom. His humor is definitely improving. I'm like a proud mama.

My parents are sacked out, Dad snoring like a chainsaw, so I have the house to myself to get ready. Well, except for Peter, but he doesn't really count. The only upside of having them in bed is that they don't notice I'm wearing the scarf again.

***

Tex attacks me as soon as I get out of my car.

“Hey, sorry I didn't call you last night. I kind of passed out. This Claiming thing has kind of messed with my system.” She waves her hands in a circle.

I too passed out after the whole thing with Mom and her friends. “Yeah, been there, done that.”

I make sure my scarf is secure around my neck, since it's a windy day. I've paired it with a black top and jeans. I start telling her about my experiences as we walk inside, and I find that hers are similar.

“When did it happen?” I ask as I put my books in my locker, keeping only the books I'll need for the day.

“It was after he took me home. We met Ivan halfway, and Viktor told him what was up. I thought he was crazy, but he said to trust him. Somehow he has a way of explaining things that makes them make complete sense, even if they're insane. Anyway, we went back to my house and I was freaking out about leaving you. He told me no one could touch you or hurt you, but I really didn't believe him. I said I wanted to make sure you were okay, and he said the only way he'd take me was if he Claimed me. I think he was trying to get me to back out. Well, that blew up in his face when I told him to go for it. So he did.”

“How did he do it? Peter used a knife.” I rub my wrist where the wound still hasn't completely healed.

Tex laughs, as if it is funny. “He found a knife in the kitchen, but I made him disinfect it before he used it. I also made him let me do it so he wouldn't leave a scar.” She rubs her left wrist, which has a wide bracelet around it.

“Yeah, I found this in my jewelry drawer. I'm pretty sure Aunt Bea gave it to me to ward of negative energy or something. It was the only thing wide enough to cover everything. God, I hope I don't get an infection.”

“I'm sure you'll be fine,” I say, meandering down the hall toward geometry. I want to put that off as long as possible. I only have about two minutes.

Tex looks like she wants to say something else.

I wait.

“I feel him. Like, all the time,” she whispers, leaning in so only I can hear.

“Yeah, that's part of it.”

“It's really trippy. But I kinda like it. I can tell that he's out in the parking lot, pining for me.” She rolls her eyes back and sighs dreamily.

“It's not all about that, Tex,” I snap. I want her to take this seriously, because it is serious. She's just bound herself for life to Viktor. How can she not understand the gravity of that?

“I know that,” she says, rolling her eyes. “Look, I'll see you later. Maybe we can do lunch with the boys. Or we'll do lunch and they'll watch. Or something. I'll see you later.” She walks off without her usual strut. She's even walking differently. More confident. Like she has something she knows other people want, but she isn't going to share it. Oh, crap.

“Hey, Ava,” Jamie says, coming down the opposite side of the hall. I never seem to see the two of them at the same time. Now he's the only person in my life that doesn't know about Peter. He's met him, but not really.

“Hey, James. Long time no see.” God, how much has gone down since the last time I saw him. I don't even know where to start. “How's everything?” By everything I mean his asshole dad and his pregnant sister.

“It's a girl. She had the ultrasound on Friday, but she waited to tell me until last night. It kind of slipped out, I guess.” He shrugs, but I can tell he's over the moon about it.

“That's great, Jamie.” I really, really hoped it would be. I saw Cassie not that long ago and she seemed happy. Happier than I'd ever seen her. She was never a bubbly, giggly girl. More dark and moody. I blame it on her crappy home life. Somehow Jamie managed to come out with the opposite personality.

“We've been going through the name books, trying to find the right one. Cassie loves Glorianna.”

I flinch. “Ouch,” I say, “that would be a lot for a kid to learn how to spell.”

“That's what I said. Her last name will be Barton, so it has to go with that.”

The bell rings, signaling that it's time for me to enter the cave of doom, otherwise known as my geometry classroom. Mr. Galakis already has his glare on.

“See you later,” I say. Jamie winks at me and jogs down the hall to Spanish. I love that boy.

I try my hardest to focus in class, but it's hard when part of my brain is thinking about Peter and I am feeling his emotions, another part is wondering if my mother is okay and another part is thinking about blood.

She was still asleep when I left that morning, but Dad was staying home with her. I'm pretty sure he's going to take leave from work soon. I don't want that day to come, because that will mean we're close to the end. She said she would tell me when it was happening, but I'm too scared to ask. I'm stuck in a place of wanting to know, and not wanting to know.

One thing is for sure, I'm going to need a serious miracle to get through exams. They're extremely important because colleges will be looking at them. Not that I've really thought much about that. I know I'll go to college, but I can't see past this summer. I can't see a life without my mother. Obviously Peter will have to come with me. Maybe he can enroll with me. The question is, will I be human or not? Either way, I'm getting a degree. That is something I promised my mother, and I'm not going to go back on my word. Just like I promised to take care of her garden, I'm going to college. Bottom line. Even if I have to study my ass off to pass geometry. Even if I have to have Peter stand outside the window and feed me answers. That's what I'll do.

I call Mom during study hall and make sure she's recovering from the day before and all that craziness.

She sighs. “I knew it was going to be emotional. The phone hasn't stopped ringing. Just wait until you see what's in the kitchen when you get home.”

“Why, what happened?”

“You'll see,” she says.

Oh, God. I have no idea what to prepare for. I hang up with her and go back to struggling with my homework. The words on the page swim in front of my eyes. Whoever came up with the idea for homework should be hung by their thumbs and tickled to death.

When the bell finally rings for lunch, I'm more than relieved. Tex is already waiting for me at my locker when I get there.

“The boys are outside. I may or may not have skipped out of AP Euro early with a headache so I could see Viktor.” I'm guessing the answer is may.

“Come again? Did you just say that you skipped history? Who are you?”

She laughs and loops her arm with mine. “This is the new and improved Tex. I now come with a hot Russian at no extra charge.”

We bust out of the school doors and dash to the parking lot. Technically speaking, only seniors are allowed to leave campus during lunch, but the monitoring is sketchy at best. As long as you aren't a wide-eyed freshman, you can pretty much get away with it.

Peter and Viktor are hanging out next to Tex's car, as if they're guarding it. At the first sight of him, my heart does a happy dance, and everything falls into place. Like it or not, my life is only complete when I'm with him. Whether that is completely due to the Claiming or not, I still haven't figured out. Not that it matters. It is what it is.

I wonder sometimes if he'd been human and we'd both met at school or at a party, what we might have been like. If we would have been a couple.

Obviously, he'd be a much different person. He'd probably smile a lot more and play the guitar. Maybe he'd wear guy-liner and write weird poetry and hang out in cemeteries. I don't know. Peter wouldn't be the same Peter if he was human, that's for sure. Even thinking about wishing that he was human is crazy. I mentally slap myself and smile at him.

“Hey, Peter.”

“Hello, Ava-Claire. How has your day been?”

“Meh. It's better now that you're here.”

“I have told you before that if you want me to enroll in school, Viktor can make it happen,” he says, taking my hand.

“That is true,” Viktor says, pulling something out of his back pocket. He always wears an odd assortment of clothes, and today he has a Batman t-shirt and khakis with a newsboy cap. It's all very hipster chic. He hands me what, for all intents and purposes, looks like a Maine driver's license. I stare at it, but it looks exactly like mine. Except, of course, it has a picture of Viktor on it and his details.

“You're an organ donor?”

“No. I put it on there because people tend to treat you better if you are.” He takes the ID back from me and slips it in his back pocket again.

“Okay, how did you make that?”

“They are not difficult to make. I have had a lot of time to practice. I can also do passports and other documents.”

“Where do you make them?”

“At my place in Russia. I am having a lot of my equipment shipped here.”

“Where are you going to put it?”

“In my room,” Tex pipes up. “If I shove it in the closet, my mom will never know. I can also throw them in a box in the basement of the bookstore. She only sends Toby down there, and if I label it with something generic, he'll never look. Easy as pie.”

“Have you ever made pie? It's not that easy,” I say. She has no idea how difficult pie crust can be.

“Whatever,” she says, gazing adoringly at Viktor. He glances down at her. I haven't seen him smile, either. Maybe Tex can give him lessons. They'd probably involve her taking her clothes off. Strip Smiling. Ew.

“I really don't think it would work, having you at school. Plus, you would be seriously distracting. I don't think I'd get anything done,” I say.

“I think it's a great idea,” Tex says. Of course she does.

I roll my eyes and Viktor gives me a wink. Wait, what? I give him a look and he does it again. There is definitely more to Viktor than meets the eye. Tricksy boy.

“So if you would like it, I can make it happen,” he says, back to Mr. Stoic.

“I think it's a really, really bad idea. Anyway, school is going to be out soon and then we'll have the summer.” I'm going to spend most of my summer with my mother, but I'll spend whatever is left with Peter, and probably working a few hours at the bookstore so I can get my Tex fix. Obviously I'll also add some quality Jamie time, too.

“We do have the summer,” Peter says, swinging our hands.

My skin shivers with excitement that I get to touch him. He doesn't mention the fall, because we both know what happens in the fall. Or maybe even in the summer. I am going to lose my mother, and it's going to break both of us. He is so tied to me that my grief is going to become ours.

“I'm starving,” Tex says.

We all decide to grab a quick bite at Grill Monsters, which is a camper that has been turned into a mobile grill that drives around Sussex in the summer and parks in a different place every day. Sometimes we forget where it's supposed to be and have to drive around to find it, but not today. It's hanging out next to the lumber supply in an unused parking lot. I like Grill Monsters because I can get a veggie burger, and Tex loves the bacon barbecue burger. I'm surprised when she orders it, because it's really messy and she gets sauce all over her face when she eats it. I didn't think she'd want to show that side to Viktor just yet.

“Sorry you can't have any,” Tex says to Viktor before stuffing the burger in her mouth. Real attractive, Tex.

“It is fine. I do not desire food, so I don't miss it. Although, when I was human, my mother used to make a potato casserole that I loved. Somehow I saved the memory of eating that through my change.”

Peter told me that when you change, you had to fight for your memories, so Viktor fought for that one. I realize I knew next to nothing about his family.

“Rasha and Kamir are coming this weekend,” Viktor says as Tex and I stuff our faces and feel guilty. At least I know I do.

“Who?” I say after swallowing. Tex just talks with her mouth full. Guess Viktor didn't seem to care.

“They are friends of mine that have agreed to come to our aid. They are taking their boat here as we speak.” It's true; I can't picture a noctalis on a plane. Too much enclosed space with blood-scented circulating air.

“You sure they're okay?” It's terrible that I don't trust their judgment. They've been wrong before, and I am unsure if I can take that experience again.

“Yes, they are trustworthy,” Viktor says. Ookkaaayy. “I am not going after you, Ava. If I could make a binding promise not to hurt you, I'd do that as well. I have one year. It will not take nearly that long.” He's so sure. What is he, a psychic now?

“See?” Tex says, as if that settles it. I'm still skeptical.

“They have helped me before,” Viktor adds. Well, that would have been good to know in the first place. Even though it's true Cal helped Peter.

“You gonna give us details?” I ask.

“Yeah, details, please,” Tex says around a mouthful of burger.

“I will only say that I was in a jam, and they helped me out of it. You can trust them.” Oh there is a story there. I'd have to get it from Tex, because I have the feeling she's going to get it out of him. Subject closed.

We finish the rest of our lunch, talking about nothing in particular. I watch Tex and Viktor. They keep their bodies turned toward one another and if she moves, he moves. She also plays with her hair a lot, which is a sure sign that she likes him, if that was ever in doubt. Visually, they make a good couple, with the matching blond hair. Even though he towers over her.

“So how's it working out having a boy in your room?” I ask Tex as we toss our trash and hop back in the car. I sit in the back with Peter, and Viktor claims the front seat. Since my legs are so short, and his are so long, I'm sitting behind him so he can push the seat back as far as it will go.

“My parents are oblivious. They wouldn't notice if I had an elephant in my room as long as I went to school and work and so forth. Speaking of work, I think Toby might be done.” She says the last part with a little squeal of delight.

“Oh, really?” I look at Viktor, but he just stares straight ahead. “And how did that come about?”

“Let's just say that some books went missing while he was working and some of the money wasn't where it was supposed to be.”

“Texas Anne!” I'm shocked she would resort to such measures to get rid of him so she could hire her boyfriend. Huh, I guess Viktor is her boyfriend now. Never thought I'd see the day.

“What? Viktor needs to be around me, and Toby needs to go away. See? Two birds, one stone.” She starts humming as if that closes the conversation.

“You're not very nice when you want something, you know?” I say.

“No, I'm not. I'm a bitch. This is not news. Doesn't mean I'm gonna change any time soon. Viktor likes me the way I am,” she says, grinning hopelessly at him.

Viktor looks at her and nods. “I would not change you.”

“There you have it,” Tex says, looking at me in the rearview mirror.

I cross my eyes at her and glance at Peter. He blinks at me. What are you going to do?

Peter

Ava lets me come in the house that afternoon, even though her father is home.

“I need you to do that thing where you make me not freak out, because I feel like I'm close, and I really don't want to bite him,” she says in a rush.

I take her hand.

“Thank you,” she says.

We open the door and the foyer is filled with flowers in multi-sized and colored vases.

“Holy crap, it's like a florist in here. Or a funeral. Or a florist's funeral.” She gasps after she says the word funeral, as if she has cursed. “Oh God, I shouldn't have said that.”

“Ava-Claire, is that you?” Claire calls from the other room. Ava and I make our way around the mounds of blooms that are so numerous that they're stacked on the floor because there aren't enough surfaces to hold them all.

“I told you it was something,” Claire says as we walk into the kitchen. There are more flowers there, and many containers of food, some still warm. They scent the air and clash. How humans can find that appetizing is beyond me.

“What the hell happened?” Ava says, gaping at the full kitchen counter.

“The doorbell has been ringing nonstop. Your father has been fetching them and signing for them all day. I don't even know where some of them are from. That doesn't even count the casseroles. At least I won't have to cook for a little while. Or a few years,” Claire says, waving at the dishes and pots. “When humans are confronted with death, they buy flowers and cook things. It helps them deal with it and feel like they're contributing,” Claire tells me.

“Yes, I am familiar with the practice. So many people cooked for my mother when my father and I died, she ended up giving most of it away.”

Claire’s breath catches when I talk about dying.

“So you consider yourself dead? Or undead?”

“Immortal,” I say.

“Um, should we really be talking about this in the kitchen when Dad's home?” Ava says.

“Oh, he's taking a nap,” Claire says, waving Ava off and stacking two of the containers on top of another. I move to help her. Claire’s body is too wrapped up in fighting to stay alive to keep her strong. “Thank you, Peter. Could you slide those in the fridge for me?” I do, somehow finding a place in the crowded refrigerator.

“Dad's taking a nap? Did you drug him?”

Claire laughs and pulls Ava in for a kiss on the cheek. “No, he's just been really tired lately. We've been staying up late talking about things.” Claire fiddles with some peonies in a silver vase.

“What kind of things?” Ava says. I feel as if I should absent myself for this conversation, but Ava will not let go of my hand. I have to stay for her, so I do my best to pretend I am not there.

“Just things. Nothing you need to worry your pretty head about. Why don't you go and arrange some of those flowers around the house? It'll be like a florist blew up in here for a few days. I'm going out to the garden.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, baby. I'm sure.” Claire gives me a look before she goes out of the room and shuts the door. I hear her humming outside.

“It is like a floral shop blew up in here,” Ava says, gesturing to the flowers. I couldn't agree more.

It takes us the better part of an hour to find homes for all the flowers. We fill the rooms, bathrooms and even put a few vases in Ava's room.

“I don't get why people send flowers when someone is going to die. The flowers end up dying and reminding you. They should send things that are going to last.”

“Flowers remind you of the fleeting nature of life.”

“True, but I still think it's a stupid thing to do. If they're this bad now, what is it going to be like —” she stops, not able to continue.

“I know,” I say, taking her hand and massaging it with mine. “Let me take some of your stress. I have broad shoulders.”

She laughs and puts her arms around my waist, resting her chin on my chest and looking up into my eyes. I let myself get lost in hers for a minute.

“So what do you think of Viktor and Tex? Yes, no, maybe so?”

“I think he is smitten. I think she is as well.”

“She's different with him. I mean, she's still flirty and weird, but sometimes I see her looking at him, and it makes my heart ache because I understand. I think she's in love with him, but she hasn't realized it yet. Does the Claiming always do that?”

“Not always. Claiming is a connection, another way to form a bond. Sometimes that leads to love. Sometimes it doesn't,” I say, kissing her forehead. “You are right about Texas, I think.”

“God help us when she realizes she loves him.” She rolls her eyes and I try to do the same. She laughs and I join in, my voice blending with hers like cream into coffee.

“Getting better. How much do you want to bet Tex is giving Viktor smiling lessons right now?” she says.

“Don't underestimate Viktor's ability to act human when he wants. I have seen it in action. He can be very charming when the situation requires it.”

“Wow. I'm trying to picture it. He's always so stoic. So... Russian? Is that racist?”

“His natural inclination is toward his noctalis side, but his human side is easier to find than mine. Although, mine has gotten much closer to the surface since I met you.”

I hold her face between my hands and meet her lips for a chaste kiss. Her mind roars at me, and I'm blasted with images of the two of us tumbling onto her bed, her taking my shirt off, her taking her shirt off, and...

“Ava, stop. We need to stop.” I push her back and she blushes a brilliant red color.

“You just read my mind, didn't you?”

“Yes. And I had to push you away or I would have followed through with that vision.”

“Is it because you don't want to? Or you're afraid you'll hurt me or something? I know it's a stupid and trivial thing to fuss about when everything else is going on, but I just need to know.”

“How could you think that I don't want you?”

“Show me,” she says, staring at me with those green eyes.

I close my eyes and think about her. I imagine her skin and her lips and try to send all the things I adore about her into my head. I press my forehead against hers and try to push all those thoughts through our connection. She makes a little noise of shock. I force harder, and she grips my waist.

“How did you do that? I thought you could only read my mind.”

“I don't know,” I say, opening my eyes, “but everything seems impossible until you do it. And with you, I think nearly anything is possible, my Ava-Claire. You make everything possible.”

She smiles at me and we embrace.

“You sound more optimistic than you have been,” she says.

“Must be the flowers. Full of possibility.”

She rolls her eyes again.

Eight

Brooke

If I'd been less cute, I probably wouldn't get as many as I did. People had a hard time not stopping to help a pretty girl stranded on a rural road. It was like shooting fish in a barrel. I hated doing it that way, because the people who stopped were usually the nice ones. The helpful ones. I really should find a better way to do this, but for now I just needed some blood and this was the easiest way to get it.

I made sure to wear a short skirt and a tank top that showed off my chest. It wasn't an outfit I ever would have worn in my human life, but that didn't matter. That Brooke had died. I was a different Brooke. An immortal one.

I popped the hood up and pretended to be fiddling with things I had no idea about. The funny thing was that Dillon had loved cars, and every now and then I'd hung out with him while he worked on them. I asked him to show me a few things, and he had. I knew how to change the oil, do a battery jump, that sort of thing. I could also change a tire on my own. I could probably do it even faster now, but I hadn't tried yet.

I didn't have to wait long. Even on this rural road there were always people going here or there. This place was similar to New Hampshire, only it had the distinct tang of salt water in the air. New Hampshire had a lot of lakes, but only a small portion of the state reached the ocean and I'd never lived there. Until I became immortal and could go where I wanted, when I wanted, I hadn't realized how large the world was. I'd barely been out of New Hampshire in my first sixteen years of human life. My mother wasn't the kind of parent who took us on trips or anything like that. I'd gone to Canobee Lake Park with Cara and her family, but other than that I'd never left our small town.

A truck rumbled down the road, slowing when the driver saw me. I moved my face into a pout, a trick I'd had to relearn and practice for hours in a mirror. My face had lost the ability to make human expressions. There was a teenage boy driving the truck. He reminded me of Dillon.

“Hey, do you need some help?”

“Yeah, I don't know what's wrong with it. It just died.” I put my hands up as if I was lost when it came to auto maintenance. I wished I could cry, because that would help. I'd tried to cry, but my immortal body didn't produce tears. I could make my voice sound like I was crying and just hide my face. I'd done that enough times.

“Want me to take a look?” He glanced down the road and then pulled the truck in front of mine so it was out of the way. When I was done with him I'd probably just push it into the woods. Or maybe I could ditch this car and grab the truck. I hadn't driven a truck yet.

“Yeah, that would be great. I'm rushing to get home, because my mom had to go to work and my sister is by herself.” I always made up some sort of sob story. I'd changed them up to see which one got the best effect.

“Do you have AAA?” He stared at my engine. I estimated him at about seventeen. Blond hair, blue eyes. All-American. Fit, too. His blood reached me as he leaned over and checked the battery connections. It was almost spicy, and it reeked of health and activity. Yes, I was definitely going to take this one.

“I don't think so.” Playing stupid also seemed to work. “I just don't know what to do.” All I had to do was get him with me alone in the car and then I'd have him.

“Did it make a noise?” I shrugged and he went to the driver's side. “Let me take a look.” I went around to the passenger's side and got in. My body ached with the need for his blood. My vision sharpened and narrowed to focus just on him.

“You live around here? I've never seen you before. I'm Jamie.” He held his hand out to shake mine and gave me a brilliant smile. For a second, my focus on his blood shifted to his face. I stared down at his hand. Mine leapt forward, and I had to stop myself from crushing his fingers. I must have shaken his hand a little too hard, because he looked at me puzzled. I pulled my hand back too quick. Damn.

“Well, um, let me give it a shot.”

In case this happened, I had disconnected several of the cables that would be difficult to find unless you were a mechanic.

He turned the key and the engine revved, but didn't catch. He tipped his head to the side, listening. I focused on his eyes, trying to keep my gaze away from his neck where his blood pulsed. The human body had, on average, six quarts of blood. I didn't need much, but I usually took all of it. I couldn't help myself. Blood was my drug of choice. When I had too much I'd just lie naked in the sun for hours in a secluded place, just listening to the sounds of the world. It was peaceful. The only peace I got anymore since Ivan was gone.

“I'm Brooke,” I said as he listened to the car. He took the key out and sat back, as if he was thinking.

“It's nice to meet you, Brooke. Let me go ahead and take a look at your engine.”

No, he couldn't get out of the car. I was going to feed on him. I was going to drain him and be bloated with his spicy blood. But I sat still as he got out of the car. What was wrong with me? I'd killed more people than I could count in the past two weeks. I didn't think about it most of the time. I didn't have to. Mortality was not one of my concerns.

He leaned over the hood again.

“Hey, do you want me to just give you a ride? Then you can get home to your sister and call someone to pick up the car.”

“Sure, that would be great.” Yes, get in the truck with me.

He put the hood down on the car and I got in his truck. It was old and smelled of cigarettes, even though I knew he didn't smoke. The previous owner, based on the similar scent to Jamie, was his father.

“Don't you want to lock it or anything?” Damn. What was I thinking? I wasn't, that was for sure.

“Oh, yeah. I'm just so out of it.”

I hopped out of the truck and locked the doors of the car that wasn't mine. I grabbed the purse that had belonged to the previous owner. It was ugly and big, but a teenage girl didn't go anywhere without a purse. I got back in the truck and found Jamie watching me.

“Where are you from?” he asked. I still hadn't answered his question about where I was from and what I was doing here.

“We just moved here from New Hampshire. My mom has a new boyfriend and he lives around here.”

“Oh, what's his name? Maybe I know him.”

I had no doubt that he knew everyone in town. He seemed like the kind of guy that everyone would know and love. His face lit up the truck and I found myself enjoying the sound of his voice. There was a sweet richness about it, like honey. After becoming immortal I'd discovered that most human voices were unpleasant-sounding. His wasn't.

“So, where do you need to go?”

I floundered for a moment. He glanced at me, expecting an answer.

“Do you mind if we stop at the grocery store first? I have to pick up some cold medicine for my sister.”

“Why don't you give her a call and see if she's okay?”

The woman I'd taken the purse from didn't have a phone, but I rummaged around in the purse, pretending to look. “I can't find it. This is the worst day ever,” I said, being the melodramatic teenager.

“Here, use mine.” He handed me a black phone, and I pretended to make a call, making my voice soft and sweet. I hoped he couldn’t hear that I was not making an actual call. I kept it short, just in case.

“She's fine. Just a little stuffed up. Thank you so much for this, Jamie.” I loved saying his name. It felt natural in my mouth.

Jamie turned off the back road onto one that was more populated.

“What do you think of Sussex so far?”

“It's a lot like New Hampshire. Except for the ocean. I've never really seen it before.”

“You've never seen the ocean?”

“Not until I moved here.”

“Wow, I can't imagine that. I've lived here my whole life.”

I had lived in New Hampshire my whole life.

His blood filled the truck, and I had to clench my hands on the seat so as not to grab him and sink my teeth into his neck or any available vein, really.

He noticed. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, fine.” No, I wasn't. “Can you pull over?”

He stopped on the shoulder and I got out, nearly ripping the door off the hinges.

“You're not okay,” Jamie said.

I clenched my knees on the side of the road, pretending I was going to hurl. Why couldn't I just take him? Why was I dragging this out? Cars passed by, but no one else stopped. I couldn't do it now, with so many people around. The only way would be to get him into the woods.

“What's wrong? You can tell me. I promise I'll help you with whatever you need help with. Whatever that is, okay?” He rubbed his hand on my back in slow circles. It wasn't helping my need to kill him.

I turned my head so I could meet his clear blue eyes. I realized that I wanted to kiss him as much as I wanted his blood. His lips were pink, soft and human. I wanted to tackle him in this ditch, tear his clothes from his body and ravage him.

I was a virgin before I become immortal. I had some silly notions about saving myself for the right person. Things were different when I could get pregnant or an STD. Now that I didn't have to worry about that, sex had become a different animal. Ivan and I had shared a few nights together. They'd been wild and raw, and I missed them. I hadn't had sex with a human yet. I was usually too overcome by their blood to think about that part.

“Brooke?”

He was staring at me again. I must have forgotten to blink, so I did so. I also made my chest move a little. All those little things I had to remember to do so he wouldn't be more suspicious than he already was.

“I'm sorry. I don't think I can do this. Can we go for a walk?”

“You want to go for a walk?”

“Yes.” I needed to be in an open place where the air would carry away the smell of his blood and I could think.

“Okay, then let's take a walk.” He glanced around, looking for a place. “This way,” he said, nodding with his head.

We crossed the road, leaving his truck behind. We were close to the ocean, I knew that much.

“There just happens to be a little path here that only the locals know about,” he said, hopping over a stone wall and holding his hand out to help me over. I gave him a look and jumped over, landing with more grace than a human. He looked shocked for a moment and then smiled. “You don't look like the type of girl who gets stranded on the side of the road.”

“I'm not,” I said, smiling.

He blinked for a moment before stepping forward, holding a tree branch out of my way. I thought for a moment about breaking it off to show him my strength, but I resisted. The sun peeped down through the trees, making me a little giddy, even though I hadn't had any blood. A breeze tossed my hair and carried Jamie's scent, which mixed with the sharp salt air. I closed my eyes for a moment and breathed it in. I had to keep remembering to move slowly so I didn't scare him. It would be so easy for me to tackle him and drain him in moments. I told myself I was going to do it, but seconds passed and I didn't.

“Will you tell me what's wrong? How I can help you?” He looked back at me, and the sun painted his golden hair with a halo. If I asked him for the keys to his truck, he'd hand them over. He was too good to kill.

“What I want, I won't let you give me.”

“Money? Do you need money? Are you running away from something?”

A laugh escaped my lips. That was another thing I'd learned how to do again, but once I accessed it, laughter came whenever I felt it. I never had to force it like a smile.

“Jamie, you don't know what you're getting yourself into with me. You should turn around and go back to your truck.”

He stopped and studied me. “What are you involved in? Whatever it is, I can help you.”

He could help me by giving me all his blood.

“Just let it go. Can't you just take a walk with me?”

I just wanted to spend some time with him and then move on. I would have to lie low in this town for a while until I found that girl Ivan had talked about. Ava. It was terrible to say, but I was jealous of her. He was crazy about her, even if he wouldn't admit that he loved her. He loved me, too, but it was a different kind of love. So many facets of the same gem.

“Sure, we can take a walk. But at least tell me something about you. All I know is that you're hiding from something, your name is Brooke and that you probably stole those clothes.”

I glanced down at my tank top and skirt. They didn't fit me exactly, but they were close enough. I had stolen them. I hadn't wanted to go back to my house after I'd changed. I would never go back there. I'd seen some half-hearted missing posters with my face on them, but other than that, I hadn't heard anything about my disappearance. The only person who would miss me was Cara. I hoped Dillon, too, but I didn't know. That Brooke was gone, and I had to leave her behind.

“Maybe I did steal these clothes. Does that make me a criminal?” I was flirting with him. I was actually flirting with him.

I needed a mental slap. Well, what I needed was some blood and a day in the sun. I'd gone at least twenty-four hours since I'd last had some. Ivan told me I would need more because I was new, but that would change as I grew into my own as a noctalis. I liked the word vampire better. There was another mythical word to describe me, and I liked that one, too.

He didn't answer my question about being a criminal.

“I like fairies,” I blurted out.

“Fairies?” He blinked at me.

“Yeah, you know? With wings and all?”

“Sure,” Jamie said, holding up another branch for me to pass under.

I brushed my hand on his chest, feeling the beat of his heart through my sensitive skin. The sound drowned out the rustle of animals and leaves and the breathing of the earth. He was a tiny bit scared of me, which only excited me more.

It was a heady thing, being so powerful. It was a wonder there weren't more of us that went on rampages and killed entire towns. I'd had the urge, but had never followed through. Ivan told me about his days when he had done it and how unsatisfying it was. I wasn't going to count it out, but I was still coming into my own. I hadn't decided what kind of immortal I was going to be yet.

“Here we are,” Jamie said, holding his arm out.

I'd seen the place through the trees before he had. It was a little secluded cove, with a few summer homes that decorated the rocks. Most of them were uninhabited, for now. Thankfully, we were alone.

“It's beautiful,” I said, because it was true. I hopped down the rocks to the water's edge, sticking my hand in. It was still too cold for humans, but no water was too cold for me. I looked back at Jamie who watched me with another curious look. “What is it?” I said.

“Who are you?” he asked.

“Your worst nightmare,” I said in a spooky voice. If only he knew. “Jamie, you don't want to know. If I told you, you wouldn't believe me, anyway.”

“Try me.” He folded his arms. Stubborn. I liked stubborn boys. It made them all the more attractive. I just smiled and sat down on the rock, stretching my legs out. I decided to slide off my sandals and stick my feet in the water. My skin twitched with the want to swim, but I ignored it.

Jamie slowly made his way down to me, taking his human time.

“How old are you?” he said.

“Sixteen. You?”

“Seventeen.” He looked out at the water, and then back at me. “Why can't you tell me who you are?” He moved his hand as if to touch my face, but then he put it down. “You don't act like you're sixteen.” It was clear he sensed I was something else.

I had a crazy impulse, probably brought on by my feet being near the water. “I'm going swimming,” I said, standing up and pulling off my tank top until I was just wearing a bra. His eyes bulged as they devoured my skin. I pulled my skirt down deliberately, enjoying the look on his face. I dived down and kissed his cheek before jumping off the rocks and into the water.

“Brooke!” Jamie screamed.

I stayed under for way longer than a human would. I didn't know why, but I was messing with him, trying to see if he'd rescue me. I watched him through the water as he struggled to see if I was going to come up, and also pulling his shirt over his head. I popped my head through the surface of the water.

“Hey, what's wrong?” I grinned and splashed some water at him.

“Oh my God, you're okay.” He paused with his shirt in his hands. His chest was well-muscled. Clearly, he was an athlete. There were tiny scars all over his skin that only I could see, but other than that, he was a perfect specimen. Just the kind of boy human Brooke would have gone for and had an unrequited crush on for years. Noctalis Brooke wanted him for other reasons.

“I'm fine,” I said, kicking my feet back so I could float. The water was probably too cold for him, but it wouldn't be fatal. I laughed, giddy with the feel of the water on my skin. He tried not to stare at my chest. It wasn’t much, but still. The bra I stole was too small, so my boobs looked more ample than they really were. It was all part of the look I was going for. Deadly force in a sweet seductive package.

Nine

Ava

Things calm down for a few days as we wait for the weekend and our guests from India to arrive. Most of the time I alternate between hope and terror. Hope that they can help us and terror that they'll say they can't, or that they'll turn out to be Di's second cousins twice-removed and have a binding promise with her.

Anything is possible.

I also consider telling Peter to change me. He says he will if I ask him. I find myself watching him and imagining how our life would be. What it would be like to belong to him. I already belong to him, but my soul would be his, as well as my heart. I open my mouth at least a hundred times to tell him I'm ready, but then an image of my mother flashes into my head. How can I have the audacity to seize immortality when she's dying? It seems like the most selfish, horrible thing I could possibly do. It feels like spitting in her face. So I shut my mouth and don't say a word.

I'm not going to tell Peter about it. The truth is I feel caught between betraying my mother and setting Peter free. I love him, but she comes first. There will be a time when that could change, but it's not right now. As much as I would give anything for him, I can't betray my mother.

Tex succeeds in her plan to get Toby fired and instates Viktor as his replacement. How she swung that with her mother, I never find out, but when I see Viktor at work on Thursday night, I find out why.

Tex's mom is as infatuated with him as she is. I've never seen Mrs. Hamilton giggly before, but I do, and more than once. That isn’t what made my jaw drop though. It is Viktor's behavior. He smiles, he compliments, he is helpful, and he flirts with little old ladies over knitting books. Viktor is the perfect employee, hands down. Who knew?

The flowers, casseroles and phone calls continue to flood in. The house smells so strongly of flowers that I almost can't smell Dad's blood. Almost, but not quite.

I wrestle with the want for blood all day, and being away from Peter doesn't help. I can't wait until it will be just the two of us, or just Mom and me in the garden for the whole summer. The bite on my neck fades enough so I can put makeup on it. No one seems to notice. I guess I'm really paranoid that people are always looking at my neck because apparently they aren't.

I try to get her to let me take some time off school like we talked about, but Dad shuts that down. He's been really quiet lately, always off in space or lost in thought. I even have Peter over a few times, and he doesn't even seem to notice. I vacillate between being relieved and worried about him. Aj emails me a bunch of times, asking when a good time for her to come up would be. I tell her Sunday, because the big meeting with Kamir and Rasha is on Saturday and I really don't want those two things to collide. Keep 'em separate, that's my motto.

All in all, it is a stressful week.

Friday night comes, and Tex and I decide it's time for Jamie to meet the boys, as we have come to call them. Noctali. Whatever. We ambush him Friday afternoon with plans to go to the movies that night. There's an action movie that Tex and I are all over, even though it's considered a dude movie. We figure it will appeal to all, so Tex and I double-team him and convince him to come with us.

“As long as it's not Dirty Dancing,” he says, glaring at Tex. Her face goes bright red and without warning she slugs him in the face.

He grabs his cheek and doubles over. “What the hell, Tex? What was that for?”

“Oh my God,” I say, going to see if Jamie's okay. Tex stands there, looking at her hands as if she's never seen them before. Shit.

“I'm so sorry! I don't know — I have no idea what happened. I was angry and then —” She shakes her head, as if trying to erase it like an Etch-A-Sketch.

“Are you okay? Let me see,” I say to Jamie, trying to get him to stop holding his face.

Luckily, we're hanging out in the parking lot and there aren't a lot of people around. If we'd been at lunch, Tex would have gotten hauled to the Head Office. As it is, there are a few people rubbernecking. I glare at them and they go about their business. Stupid nosy idiots.

Jamie turns his face up and I see that she got him right on the cheek. That angry red mark is going to turn into a lovely bruise soon.

“We should put some ice on it.” He flinches as my fingers prod the spot.

“No, I'm fine. I've dealt with a punch to the face before. It's fine.” Jamie shakes his head, too.

“Jamie?” Tex holds out her hands as if she's begging. Tears run down her face and she starts to fall. Before I can catch her, Viktor is there, coming out from behind a car at lightning speed.

“You're fine. It will be okay.” They sound like words he learned somewhere else, and not like things Viktor would say. They sound odd with his accent.

“What did I do?” Tex sobs, turning to put her face in Viktor's chest. He holds her close, whispering in her hair.

“Where did you come from?” Jamie says.

Oh, dear. Jamie would have to be blind not to have seen how fast Viktor moved. This kept getting stickier and stickier. We should just tell him what is up and get on with it. Tex and my mother took it well.

“I was just coming to meet Tex,” Viktor says, not really answering the question.

Jamie works his jaw, wincing. He's still looking at Viktor as if he knows something is up, but isn't sure if it is his mind playing tricks on him.

Tex is still mumbling into Viktor’s chest. She turns her head.

“I'm sorry, Jamie.”

“Geez, I guess I just know not to insult that movie anymore. I didn't know you were so passionate about it.”

“I really like Patrick Swayze,” she says, as if that explains it. She and I need to have a chat ASAP. I'd told her about my experiences with the Claiming and how my emotions were all over the place. Guess she didn't really believe me until it happened to her.

“I've gotta get home, but I'll, uh, see you later.” Jamie makes a hasty exit.

“We're going to have to tell him,” I say as Peter emerges from the woods. It's a good thing he hadn't come out earlier or Jamie would have been even more suspicious.

“I don't think he's going to take it well,” Tex says, wiping her tears. “I can't believe I punched him. What is wrong with me?”

“You have two people's emotions in your head. When you get upset it makes Viktor upset, which then makes you more upset. It's like a circle of anger, and then it explodes.” I've been there, done that. Except I hadn't punched anyone. Well, not yet.

“How do you control it?” she asks.

“Usually I run away from the situation before it gets that far.”

Tex is more confrontational than I am, also more high-strung, so it's no surprise that she punched someone. It is a miracle she lasted this long and hadn't done something worse.

“Are you sure we can't just blame it on extreme PMS?”

“I don't think so, babe,” I say. “It'll be easier after we tell him, I think. Especially now that you're here,” I say the last part to Viktor. If he is going to be in Tex's life so much, Jamie is going to have to get to know him.

“Should we do it tonight?”

“The sooner the better, I think. I know he's dealing with a lot with Cassie, but it seems wrong to keep this from him,” I say.

“I agree,” Peter says.

“You would,” Tex responds with an eye roll. “Okay, okay. Let's all hop aboard the crazy train. Woo woo!” She makes a train noise and pretends to chug away.

I laugh and look at Peter.

“She's a strange girl,” Peter says.

“Yes, she is,” I say.

***

For all our talk, Tex and I chicken out of telling Jamie when we go to the movies. We share an insane texted conversation about it that afternoon and decide that we don't want to do it just yet. It seems like a better idea to let Jamie get to know Viktor and Peter before we drop that bomb on him.

Tex agrees to the plan, so we meet at the movie theater and pretend everything is normal. They shake Jamie's hand and act as human as they can, remembering to blink and shift their bodies, etc. Viktor turns on his charm, and he and Jamie really seem to hit it off. It's harder for Peter, but he puts in a good effort. He even smiles and laughs a few times. I'm bursting with pride.

We're going with the story that Viktor and Peter are brothers who both attend Galdon Academy and live with their lawyer mother. It's easy to add Viktor to the story I'd already concocted as Peter's backstory.

The movie is good, but I spend most of it trying to get as close to Peter as I can so I don't sink my teeth into the neck of the chick in front of me. Her blood smells like a combination of frosting, cotton candy and apples, which sounds nuts, but that's what it reminds me of. Peter senses my distress and makes sure he keeps in constant contact with my bare skin, doing that calming thing he does. Nevertheless, I'm glad when the movie is over.

The only awkward moments are when Jamie asks about popcorn, and when he asks if we want to grab a late slice of pizza after. All of us say we ate, but we sound like we're making it up. Or at least that's what it seems like to me.

Jamie is wary of Tex, but after she apologizes a million times, he gives her a hug and says that all is forgiven. The angry mark on his face says otherwise.

I hear her muttering to Viktor while we watch the movie. She's starting to get the blood smell and is freaking out about it. It took me at least a week or so before I started smelling, but maybe everyone is different. Tex must be an early bloomer. She got boobs before I did, so that would follow the pattern.

There really should be a manual for this sort of thing. Maybe Tex and I can write one. So You've Been Claimed, Now What?

***

Saturday morning comes and I have a mild freak out in the shower. Peter talks to me through the door, but even that doesn't help. My thoughts turn dark like storm clouds and whirl through my mind, picking up bits of negative thought debris and throwing it around my head until I can't breathe, can't think and can't stop.

I finally turn off the water, grab a towel, pull it so it covers the important parts, and throw myself on him.

“Calm down, Ava. Shhh.” He pats my wet skin as I try to breathe normally.

“I don't know why I'm freaking out so much.”

“Post-traumatic stress. We did not know about that when I was alive, but I have read some textbooks on the subject.” I really shouldn't have gotten him all those psychology books. He is turning into my shrink.

“Yeah, that's probably it,” I say when I realize I'm half-naked and wet, and he's not wearing a shirt and his wings are out, and I want to do things with him that will make me forget about everything but the two of us. Now is not the time.

So he doesn't have to, I'm the one who pushes away. His chest glistens with the water droplets I sprayed on him when I tried to tackle him. Look away, Ava.

“Can you go out on the roof for a little while?”

He nods and obeys. I hate making him leave, but he makes it hard to think sometimes. I dry off and get dressed, trying to calm myself without relying on Peter as a crutch. I need to start pulling away from him now so that when my mother dies, I'll be able to take most of it myself and not dump it all on him. I should really take up meditation or yoga or something.

We decide to meet in a neutral place: the cemetery. It seems appropriate since so much other craziness has gone down there. I've almost died there so many times, but still, I think of it as a peaceful place. My safe place.

Peter and I meet Tex and Viktor, and we all drive over together. Tex is twitching with apprehension, and Viktor isn't looking that great, either. My knee won't stop jiggling, but Peter seems to be doing okay. Every now and then his hand twitches, and I get little pricks of stress. He tries to hide them, but I feel them anyway.

Tex parks her car and we all sit there for a few moments. We're early; they're not supposed to be here for another few minutes.

“Is anyone else freaking out?” Tex says in a wavering voice.

“Me,” I say, raising my hand.

“It will be fine,” Viktor says, opening the door and then coming around to open the driver's side for Tex. Peter does the same for me.

In a sign of solidarity, Tex and I join hands with the guys on the outside, since Peter can't touch Tex, and Viktor can't touch me. They're the immortal bread of a human sandwich.

“Where did you tell them to meet us?” I say.

“They will find us,” Viktor says.

I try to imagine what they look like. They'll be beautiful, probably. I've only met a few, but all the noctali I've met are very good-looking. I've seen pictures of Peter, and he looks pretty much the same as he does now, so maybe they just pick attractive people to change. The jury is still out.

Tex grips my hand tightly, and I want to tell her to ease up, but I kind of need the pressure of her hand to help me focus.

“There they are,” Peter says in my ear. I squint, but even with my enhanced vision, I don't see them until they're close. They float across the uneven ground as if their feet aren't touching it. Yup, they're beautiful. Shocking.

The woman, Rasha, looks like she was peeled from the pages of a book about an Indian princess. Disney would be all over her. Her sari is bright pink and glitters in the sun. Her hair is so long it brushes her ankles and flows like black silk.

The man, Kamir, is barefoot and only has a pair of matching pink pants on. I don't know what the pants are supposed to be called. The pair of them looks like two beautiful tropical birds. I feel awkward and American in comparison.

“Wow,” Tex breathes. I'm sure they hear it.

“Viktor, Peter,” Kamir says when they are twenty feet away. I wait for something to explode or for them to rush at us. Clearly, I have crazy expectations.

Peter and Viktor bow their heads like they're saluting the king or something. They should have told us about noctalis etiquette. Is there noctalis etiquette? Peter's never said anything, but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. I tug on our connection to see if I'm missing something, but he just tugs gently back. Okie dokie.

“You have Claimed humans. Both of you,” he says, looking at me and Tex in turn. They are finally close enough for me to see that they share one dark eye and one hazel one. A matched pair.

“It is nice to meet you,” Rasha says. Her voice is deep and beautiful. God, everything about her is beautiful. “I am Rasha. This is my husband, Kamir.” She nods to me and to Tex.

I try to say something, but my big, clumsy words get stuck in my throat. I've never heard of a noctalis marriage before.

“This is Tex,” Viktor says, holding her hand up for them to see. Maybe it's a territorial thing. This is MY human.

“And this is my Ava,” Peter says for me. Rasha smiles, showing the most perfect teeth I've ever seen. A dentist’s dream.

“I too was once a Claimed before Kamir fell in love with me.”

“Yes, my love,” Kamir says, glancing at her. Their love is plain to see. As plain and lovely as the stars in the sky. They are not what I expected. Not at all.

“We have traveled long and far and left our children to see you. How may we help?” Rasha says, stepping forward in the same delicate movement I'm sure she had when she was human. The bindi on her forehead sparkles.

Peter defers to Viktor, since he's the oldest in both human and noctalis years. Guess you can never escape your age, even when you're immortal. Viktor explains our situation in the plainest words possible. Rasha and Kamir listen without moving, doing that stiller-than-still thing noctali do. I really hope no one decides to visit the graveside of their loved one today. That would be a fine how do you do.

“Humans do not like us. They will stay away,” Rasha says, interrupting Viktor. She did not just read my mind. “I can read it on your face. Some of you are easier to read than others. I have had years of practice. Please, continue.” She waves at Viktor to go on. I still don't know what to make of them.

When Viktor finishes our tragic tale, Kamir and Rasha share a wordless look.

“We will need a moment.” I think they're going to walk away, but all they do is stare at each other, as if they don't need words. I've seen Viktor and Peter do something similar, but I have the feeling these two can share every thought they had in one second.

It doesn't take long before Kamir speaks.

“We have heard of your mother, Di. The apple does not fall far from the tree, in this case. Her father also made reckless binds.”

“What?” The word slips out of my mouth. I've never heard anything about Di's noctalis parentage. I guess I've never really thought about it.

“Her father was a man who thirsted for power and reached too far for it. He enjoyed nearly killing humans and then turning them to noctali only to have them make a bind that would kill them or make them his slaves,” Rasha says.

How awful. Now we know where Di gets it from.

“Sounds familiar,” I mutter. I can't seem to keep my mouth shut. “Sorry,” I say.

Rasha's laugh ripples like bubbles in a stream.

“Do not worry about offending us. We have lived many years and encountered many humans. You are not any better or worse than the rest of them.”

Her smile is kind, and it makes me feel warm and gooey inside. I'm surprised Tex hasn't said anything yet. I glance at her out of the corner of my eye and she seems mesmerized. Well, so am I.

“This is why we never make binds with our children. It creates resentment, and we do not wish to control them. Only to guide them. I am sorry it is not the same for you, Viktor, Peter. But your Claimed will have a better life than yours, I should think.”

“We have not made that decision yet,” Peter says.

Rasha steps forward and puts her hand on Peter's cheek. A little thrill goes through him and reaches me. He is in awe of her. Join the club.

“Can you help us?”

“Perhaps,” Rasha says.

Is that a yes or a no? I can't help the frustrated sigh that I let out. Yup, I'm reckless. If I could get something concrete, that would be fabulous.

“Do not fret, it will work out,” Rasha says, singling me out.

“How do you know that?” I say.

“If it is meant to be, then it will be.” She spreads her hands out, as if that answers it. I wish it was that easy.

“You are young,” Kamir says, coming to join his wife and taking her hand. “You will see that although we are immortal there is one thing that can outlast us.”

“What's that?”

“Love,” he says with a smile at Rasha. They look like two love-struck teenagers, even after so many years.

“But what if you can't love?”

“Everyone can love. You just have to find a way,” Rasha says, leaning on Kamir.

“What do you know about binds?” I say, throwing caution to the wind.

“Enough not to make them,” Rasha says.

“Do you know how to break them?”

“The only way is to get rid of one of the noctali who made the bond.”

“There is no other way?” There has got to be another way. I can tell Rasha and Kamir are having a silent conversation in their heads.

“If the bond is between parent and child, the parent can retract the bind.” No shit. No one ever said that before. I want to smack Peter on the arm. How could he not know that?

“They can?” It's the first time I've ever heard shock in Peter's voice.

“They can. They just choose not to.”

Well, duh. I look at Peter and I can tell we're both thinking the same thing. That there is no way that Di is ever going to remove the bind. Not unless they make a better one, but that would just be two steps backward, and also pointless. So we're back to square one. Still, it is good to know.

“Do you mind if we explore this town? We have not traveled in many years, and it is nice to have a break. This is a lovely place.” So now they want to hang out before they help us? It's true; you can't get anything for free. I hope they don't want to massacre the entire town. That would be too steep a price to pay.

“Go ahead,” I say. “Just, um, be careful who you, you know.” I can't say be careful who you feed on.

“We fed before we left. Kamir and I only need to feed once a month, and only from willing donors.” Well, doesn't that sound lovely?

“Willing donors?” Tex finally squeaks.

“Yes,” Rasha says, looking at her. “We support the village, and in turn they give us blood. It is only a very little, and they take turns. We reward them for their sacrifice. They have something we need, and we have something they need.” Still seems kind of icky, but if it works, then who was I to judge?

“Sounds like a win-win,” Tex says. Seems she's out from under the spell Rasha and Kamir initially had on her.

Rasha smiles at Tex as if she doesn't know what to make of her.

“It works for us, does it not, my love?”

“Yes, it does. We will not harm anyone in your town. You have my word.”

“Thank you,” I say. At least I didn't have to worry about a bunch of noctali loose in Sussex. That would have been one more thing to worry about on top of an already teetering pile of worries.

“So that's it? You came all the way from India for nothing?” Tex says.

If I could have stomped on Tex's foot I would have, but she moves out of my way. I squeeze her hand as hard as I can and wait for the hammer to fall. They've got to have some kind of threshold.

I resist the urge to dive behind Peter. Really, they can't touch us, but that doesn't make me feel any better. I wait for the shit-storm to start.

“You should change her soon, Viktor. She would make a wonderful noctalis,” Rasha says, smiling. I wait for the 'but.' “So impatient, you humans. Did you not think that we might want to visit first?”

“Yeah, I'm not buying that. You came for a reason,” Tex says, pulling her hand out of my grasp and crossing her arms. Dear God, we've created a monster.

“You are smart, young one,” Rasha says, pointing at Tex. Nothing seems to faze her. Unlike Di who would go ballistic at the drop of a hat. Well, Di is a special case. Insane and special.

Rasha looks at Kamir and they have another silent chat.

So there is more to the story. I look at Tex, and she has a satisfied smirk on her face. 'Told you so,' she mouths at me. I want to punch her now.

“My brother was Di's father,” Kamir says.

Ten

Peter

Tex and Ava gasp, and Ava's shock runs though me, causing my shock to intensify.

“We were not sure if we should tell you or not, since we have little knowledge that would help you,” Kamir says, stepping forward. He is a noctalis of few words.

“He was my younger brother, and he was first turned by the one who turned me. I never knew his name or why he changed us. It was a very long time ago, you see.”

He continues with his story, telling us that he was twenty-four and his brother only sixteen when they were changed. His brother took to the change more readily than he did and had no qualms about killing for sport. As soon as he found out about the binds, he used them to his advantage. He even stole a princess and made her a slave to his whims.

“We never got along, my brother and I, but I ignored his behavior until I met Rasha. We tried to stop him, but it was his own greed that brought him down. He made a binding promise that backfired. One day he was there, and the next he wasn't. Many of his children died, but a few found us. We adopted them and helped them, but it was no use. The binds he made destroyed all but two of them. Our daughters, Helena and Di.”

“Helena?” Ava says. I glance at her. I have never heard of Helena.

“Yes, Di has a sister.”

“Shut the front door,” Texas says.

Rasha giggles. “That is not an expression I am familiar with. Is it new?”

“Uh, yeah. I guess,” Texas says, taken aback.

“Di has a sister? As in present tense?” Ava says.

“Yes. Would you like to meet her?” I have not smelled her, so she must be farther away. Or else she is very good at hiding her scent.

“Depends on if she's like Di or not,” Ava mutters.

“They have a complicated history,” Rasha says, whistling like a bird. A whistle sounds back and moments later a girl steps from the woods. Her hair is long, past her waist, and very light. She walks at human speed, and a smile spreads on her face as if it is natural for her.

“Hello, I'm Helena.” She stands beside Rasha, her hands tucked behind her back. She is the same height as Ava, but more delicate. Her skin is crystal clear, and it is easy to see her veins.

“This is Peter and Viktor and their Claimed, Ava and Tex.” Rasha nods to each of us. I bow my head, as does Viktor.

“You all look like I'm going to bite you,” Helena says, laughing.

Rasha smiles at her. I can see she is a favorite. Helena could not have been very old when she changed, perhaps fifteen or sixteen. She speaks the modern language with an ease that makes me wish I could be the same.

“You can all stop worrying,” she says, putting her hands up. “I come in peace.”

Ava and Texas laugh, albeit nervously. The tension from Ava slams into me, and I try to pump some calm toward her.

“Live long and prosper,” Texas says, splitting her fingers in a strange hand gesture I do not understand. Helena duplicates it and smiles. She has dimples in both cheeks. I glance at Ava to see her reaction. From our connection, I am now getting confusion and uncertainty. Her face tells me the same thing.

“What the what?” she whispers to me.

“Nobody minds if I get some sun, do you?” Helena glances around, waiting for someone to say something. I do not know what to say, nor does anyone else.

“I usually do this naked, but not in a group.”

Ava's face goes red and she looks at the grass. So modest, my girl.

“We will leave you to talk,” Rasha says, taking Kamir's hand.

They vanish into the woods. I hope they stick to their word about not feeding from anyone in Sussex, for Ava's sake.

Helena looks around at us. “So, Di.”

Ava glances at me.

“Are you going to talk about her, or...” Ava says.

“Oh yeah. I've got lots of Di stories.” Helena strips her shirt off and slides her shorts down, revealing a hot pink bathing suit that does not quite fit her and I'm sure is stolen. She lies on her back and speaks to the sky.

“Di is older than me, but not by much. She turned two years before me, I think. She was actually the one that found me and brought me to Akash. That's our father. He used his children as scouts to find more. Told them he was building an army, but really he just wanted more noctali because he was losing so many so quickly. He was insane.

“I was sitting outside with my mother; I think we were spinning wool. I remember the sun on my face and the soft ocean breeze. I remember I was thinking about the boy who lived up the road and how much my youngest sister annoyed me. Somehow I remember so much from that day.” She puts her arms under her head.

I glance at Ava, who is watching Helena, hanging on every word.

“Di came up to us, pretending to admire our work. My mother was friendly, asking her what her name was and where she was from. Her Greek was flawless; we couldn't tell she wasn't a native speaker. She told us a story about traveling with her family, not giving us much information, and asked me if I would take a walk with her. I was eager to get out of my mother's sight and dazzled by my new friend. Her hair was such a rare color. I watched it glitter in the sun. Di took my hand and we walked down the road. I chattered at her, telling her about my family and our small school. I asked her if she would attend. She said she would.

“Di smiled at me, and I couldn't help but smile back. There was something about her eyes. I had never seen someone with two different-colored eyes. I thought she had been blessed by the gods. She started laughing at nothing in particular and I couldn't help but join in. She pulled me into the bushes and started kissing me. I had never kissed anyone before, but I couldn't help myself. Di was strong and pulled me to the ground, kissing me harder. It was only then that I felt the bite on the back of my neck.” Helena pauses.

I think back to my own transformation, and what a confusing time that was. I did not want to remember it.

“I woke up three days later like this,” she says, gesturing to herself. “Except I had a mermaid tail.”

“No freaking way,” Texas says.

“Way. I'll show you sometime. I have to get naked from the waist down to do it, and it's more impressive if I do it in the water.”

Texas' jaw hangs open.

“So there I was. It was dark and I was alone, or so I thought. The first face I saw when I woke up was Di's. She smiled at me and called me sister. It wasn't until three days later that I met Akash. We were in Romania, I believe.”

Texas snorts a laugh. “What? Vampires, Romania? Oh, come on.”

“We understand the reference, Tex,” Ava says, turning her attention back to Helena.

“Anyway, we went on a killing rampage and had a lot of sex and caused mayhem,” Helena says.

“Wait, you didn't tell us about your bind,” Ava says. We all knew Helena had left it out on purpose.

“You're right, I didn't. The bind is irrelevant now, because my father is dead. But I made a bind to someone else, and I will not tell you about that, because part of the bind is that I never talk about it. So don't ask me.”

“Okay, point taken,” Tex says, glancing at Ava. Many noctali are hesitant to talk about their binds.

“So, back to Di. The one thing you need to know about Di is that she'll do anything to get what she wants, and once she decides that she wants something, she won't stop until she gets it. I'm sure you know that already. The thing you probably don't know about Di is that what she wants more than anything else is to be loved. She just goes about it in the wrong way.”

“Obviously,” Ava says. Helena looks away from her.

“When I was first changed, Di and I were inseparable. We did everything together. We even shared our meals.” Ava shudders next to me. “She loved me. I loved her, too, in a way. She was the first face I saw when I changed, and I think that affected me. Di was sweet and caring and she adored me. We were both young and wild, and there are stories I could tell you that would probably make your ears burn. Di and I were happy, crazy and stupid. Akash let us run wild. I didn't see him much and I didn't care. Di consumed my world. It wasn't until I went back to Greece that things changed.

“I found the boy I had a crush on as a human. His name was Theo, and he had been searching for me. Di found him and brought him to me to feed on. She didn't know that he was the Theo I had told her about. The minute he saw me, he told me how much he loved me and missed me. Di bent his head back to feed, but I stopped her. We fought and she broke his neck, tossing his body over the garden wall. I threw myself at her and we fought. I told her I never wanted to see her again, and that I didn't love her like I loved Theo. She ran down the hill and into my house. She was always faster than I was. Before I could stop her, she killed my whole family. I was so angry that I attacked her. We couldn't do any damage, but I got a few punches in. She said she hated me and wished I would die. I stayed with the bodies of my family and she left. I didn't see her again for many years. By then she had made you and had become the noctalis you know today.”

No one says anything for several moments.

“Holy shit,” Ava says finally. “So you're the reason Di is the way she is?”

Helena doesn't shy away from Ava's accusing gaze. “You could say that.”

“Shit... Shit,” Ava says.

“Is that all you can say?” Texas asks. Her eyes widen as something new occurs to her. “Shut the front door, so you guys were like, together, together.”

“Yes. Like the song, I kissed a girl and I liked it.”

Ava and Texas burst out laughing. It must be a pop culture reference I have not learned yet. Viktor also seems puzzled.

“So Di is...” Texas says.

“Unbelievable,” Ava whispers. “It makes so much sense now.”

“Di is like a drug. Or at least she was. She goes full-forward. No regrets, no looking back.” Helena's assessment of Di is correct. We had good times. I told Ava about some, but not all of them. Unlike Helena, I never had a sexual relationship with Di.

“What's Di's bind?” That is what Ava and I need to know above all.

Helena pauses. “The bind she made with our father is done, but she did make another. That she would always have to love someone. Or she would die.”

There is another silence as we all think about that.

“Is the noctali she made that bind with still alive?”

“Yes,” Helena says.

Ava and Texas ponder and Viktor and I share a moment.

“Was it you she made the bind with?” Ava asks hesitantly.

“I wouldn't tell you even if I could,” Helena says. “Part of my own bind. Sorry.”

Texas snorts. “You can't talk about Di's bind? Well, that means that you were the one who made it with her.”

“I cannot say,” Helena says.

“So you made a bind with Di that she would always love you, or she dies. She must still love you then,” Texas says.

“I cannot say,” Helena says with a sharp tone.

“Well, that makes a lot of sense,” Ava says. “This, we can use.” Her voice is fierce and I get a glimpse of that bright sharpness inside of her that I always knew was there. “Couldn't you agree to take off the bind if she'll leave us alone and retract the binds of the boys?”

“I cannot. Even if I were to admit that we had a bind, which I am not, binds made between noctali that aren't parent and child cannot be undone. Since they are equal, there is no one who has the upper hand.”

“Shit.”

“Damn,” Ava and Texas say at the same time.

“Do you still love her?” Ava asks.

Helena looks at the sky. “I think I'll always love her a little, even though she killed everything I loved. You can't just shut things off like that. A little piece of my heart will always belong to her.”

“Wow,” Texas says. “What is it with you people and love?”

Helena rolls her eyes like a human teenager. “Isn't everything about love when you get down to it?” she says.

I look at Ava and she meets my eyes.

“Yes,” we say at the exact same time.

Eleven

Brooke

I was insane. Absolutely nuts. Because that was the only reason that I was standing outside Jamie's house, waiting for him to come out to his truck. I'd spent the entire night swimming, trying to get him off my mind. When the sun came up, I put my clothes on and ran to his house, not even caring that my hair was still wet. I didn't care that my clothes didn’t fit, or that I wanted his blood. I only cared about seeing his face and hearing him say my name. Such a simple thing, hearing someone say your name.

The door opened and he walked down the rickety porch, avoiding a few rotting boards. He glanced up, saw me and stopped.

“Brooke. What are you doing here?”

“I don't really know,” I said, shrugging. “I was just... thinking about you.”

“How did you know where I live?” Careless, I had been careless.

“I have my ways,” I said, trying to be coy. His eyes shifted around. He was still scared of me. I could do that thing that Ivan taught me to do with my eyes, but I'd rather not. “Will you just hang out with me? I just don't feel like being alone. We can do whatever you want.”

“I can't just skip school,” he said, adjusting his bag. I heard his resolve weakening. Not that he had much. I could make him do what I wanted, but I wasn't going to do that. I wanted him to want to hang out with me. It was a relic from my human life. I was a girl and he was a boy, and I wanted him to like me. Even though I also wanted to suck his blood.

“Why not?”

He opened his mouth as if he was going to protest, but then I tipped my head to the side and gave him a flirty smile.

“I don't know,” he said, shaking his head. My heart, which didn't beat anymore, still somehow jumped in my chest. He laughed and the sound made my knees go weak. Yes, I was an immortal. Yes, a cute boy still made me want to swoon.

“Okay, okay,” he said, holding his hands up like he'd surrendered.

I couldn't help the smile that busted my face open. I had to slow my movements so I didn't leap into his truck.

“Your hair is wet,” he commented as he turned the key. The truck struggled to start. The ignition finally caught as I pushed my hair over my shoulder. I'd been flying and the morning dew had coated my hair. My wings were sad that I had to put them away.

He looked sideways at me and pulled onto the road. Back when I was human I used to care what I looked like. I'd get up every day, straighten my hair and put on massive amounts of lip gloss and mascara. Now, I don't really think about it. People stare at me anyway, with or without makeup.

I turned on the radio, smiling because it was already on the country station. A familiar song came on and I wanted to sing along. That was the one thing that hadn't come so easy. I could make the sounds, but they weren't pleasant. When I was human, I'd had a pretty decent voice and had been in chorus at school. It was all a matter of practice and I hadn't had the chance yet.

“So, uh, where do you want to go?”

“I don't care,” I said. “Take me anywhere.”

He looked down at the steering wheel and ran his hands around it as if he was trying to think of the right place.

“You got it,” he said, glancing in the rearview and making a U-turn, which would have thrown me into the passenger side door if I was human. Luckily, I wasn't.

***

“Where are we?” I said as Jamie got out of the truck and came to open my door. We were in the middle of nowhere, which was saying a lot, because I was from the backwoods of New Hampshire.

“My little slice of heaven,” he said. I stared, but all I could see was woods. And more woods. A little glimmer of light told me there must have been a clearing in there somewhere, but I pretended I didn't know what he was talking about.

“All I see is trees.”

“Come on,” he said, holding out his hand. I hesitated for a moment before I slid my hand into his. Jamie's hands were rough, calloused, and they dwarfed my fingers. I'd always had small hands, but it looked even smaller in his.

“Shall we?” He quirked one of his eyebrows up as he asked.

“We shall,” I said, and we started walking.

Walking beside Jamie was difficult at first. He was human, so he was slow. I had to keep reminding myself to slow down and not hold him too hard. It was harder than it sounded. Being a noctalis with noctalis strength was natural, as was using that strength. I hadn't had to tone it down with Ivan. We'd wrestled and thrown each other around in wild tumbling fights that destroyed several trees, or walls or whatever else we were near. There was such a freedom in using my strength, but there was a freedom in walking beside Jamie. It was a different kind, a sweeter kind. More innocent.

“Will you tell me one thing?” Jamie said after a few minutes of walking.

“Depends on what that is. I may or may not answer.” Jamie's hand throbbed in mine. Full of beautiful red blood. I could rip his vein open quicker than he could blink.

“Are you running away from something?”

I thought about my answer. Yes, I was going to answer him. “Yes and no. Maybe I'm not running away. Maybe I'm running toward something else.”

His hand tightened on mine for just a moment. He stopped walking and I stopped with him. He turned to face me.

“What are you running toward, Brooke?”

I smiled slowly to make sure I got it right. “Maybe it's you.”

His breath hitched for just a moment and his eyes widened just a fraction. They were things a human probably wouldn't notice. But I did. I noticed everything about him.

I started walking again, hoping he'd follow so I didn't start dragging him.

“I don't think I've ever met a girl like you.”

“With any luck, you probably won't ever again. That would be a good thing, Jamie.”

I had to leave. I couldn't stay in his life. The longer I was in it, the better the chances were that I was going to kill him. I should have just done it when he pulled up next to my car. Those stupid blue eyes and that smile. They were going to be the death of him.

“There's something else about you. Something... I can't put my finger on it,” he said.

“Then stop trying. Why don't we just enjoy today?”

He looked like he wanted to argue, but one look at my face and another smile and he caved.

I saw the clearing long before we came to it, but played along with my act that I was in the dark about it.

“It's just up here,” he said, stepping over a log. I stepped over, hoping I looked like a person.

The clearing was lopsided, larger on one side than on the other, kind of like a kidney. It was not perfectly level, either, but there was a huge stump in the middle of it, covered in moss and at just the right height for sitting. Jamie and I could share it and still have enough space for a few people.

“It's beautiful,” I said when we finally came within human view of it. The sun was somehow shining through the trees directly on the stump, as if it was magically drawn there.

“I come here a lot. My family is a little messed up,” Jamie said, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“Whose isn't?”

He tugged on his ear. “I guess so. Some people have it easier than others.”

“They're usually the ones who bitch the most about their problems,” I said, using air quotes.

He laughed. “Exactly.”

I stepped forward into the clearing and started walking toward the stump. I turned, knowing that he was watching me. “You coming?”

He blinked, as if he was coming out of a trance. “You look amazing in the sun.” That made me smile. It was so much easier to smile being around him. He was like a happy drug.

I skipped toward the stump and hopped up on it with a bit too much supernatural speed. Oops. I turned to see his reaction.

He swallowed loudly. “How do you do that?”

“Do what?” I hated playing the innocent dumb girl with him. I didn't mind when I was looking for someone to feed on, but lying to Jamie like that felt wrong.

“You're not an idiot, Brooke. Stop acting like one. I know you were trying to pick someone up on that road. I don't know why, but I know you're not the kind of girl who gets stranded on the side of the road. So what were you doing there? Why were you trying to lure someone to come and help you? What is your story, Brooke? You can trust me, I swear.”

His blue eyes looked up at me. So open. So innocent. He couldn't comprehend the things I'd done. Not if he had a million lifetimes.

“You wouldn't believe me if I told you,” I said, sitting down on the rock. Part of me wanted to scare him. To freak him out so much he would run back to his truck and out of my life.

That would be best.

“Maybe I would. How do you know until you try?”

No one had lived long enough to ask me what I was. I was a quick killer.

“I'm a vampire. If I wanted to, I could tear open your neck right now and drink all your blood. I would enjoy it very much. More than anything else, actually.” I said it with no emotion, but I gave him a little smile at the end, showing him my teeth. We noctali had no fangs, but still.

“Really? That's the best you could come up with? Why can't you be serious, Brooke?”

“I am serious. You asked, I told you.”

I leaped down from the stump, landing exactly in front of him with barely a sound. I could totally blow his mind and transform, but I wasn't sure his mind could take it. Besides, I'd shred my shirt, and I didn't want to find another one yet. Although, I could just take his. Wearing Jamie's shirt would be... Mmhmmm.

I stepped closer to him and pulled him in with my eyes. It was simple to do. Humans were easily distracted. I held him for so long he forgot to breathe. I released him and his lungs heaved.

“What the hell?”

“I told you. I'm not what you think I am. Here,” I said, taking his hand and putting it on my heart. Far enough up so he wasn't touching my boob, but close enough that he could feel that my heart didn't beat.

“Do you feel that?” I said.

His face went a little red as he saw where his hand was. Boys.

“Feel what?”

“Exactly. And here.” I took his hand and moved it to my neck where there was no pulse. “I have no heartbeat, no pulse. Haven't you noticed that I don't breathe? Or blink?”

He opened and closed his mouth several times, still looking down at his hand as if he'd forgotten he had one. “How are you doing this? Is it some kind of trick?”

“No, it's not a trick. How could I do that?”

“Brooke, stop it. It's not funny.” His heart pounded a frenzied beat.

“I'm aware,” I said as he tried to take his hand back. It was time for drastic measures. I refused to let his hand go.

“What are you doing? Let go.”

If I had been human, he would have been able to pull away easily. Only I wasn’t human. I let him struggle a bit longer. I didn't want to hurt him, and the energy he was exerting was making him smell more appealing. So I let go. His arm snapped back and he stumbled.

“You're... really strong,” he said, rubbing his wrist.

“I know. It's because I'm not human.” I leaped back onto the stump, twirling as I did so. From his perspective, I probably looked like a stuntwoman or something.

“How are you doing that?”

“I'm immortal,” I said, turning around. “If you really, really want me to prove it, I can. We just have to go back to the ocean.”

“I don't understand what's happening.”

“I know,” I said. Maybe this was a bad idea. I shouldn't have told him. His bright face was drawn down in a confused frown. I'd done that. “I should have just let you go. Or killed you. I wanted to kill you. That's why I was on the side of the road. I was waiting for someone to try to rescue me, and then you showed up. I've tried to talk myself into killing you so many times. I just... can't.”

“Why are you telling me this?” He was in shock, that was for sure, maybe moments away from catatonic. All my fault.

“I don't really know. You remind me that I used to be human.”

“When were you... not human?” He still didn't believe me, but he wanted to know more so he could try and decipher my real story.

“I was changed two weeks ago. Since then I've killed fifty-seven people. You were going to be number fifty-eight.”

“Brooke, I want to help you. I really do. But you've got to tell me the truth.”

“Oh, Jamie. I wish this wasn't the truth. I was a normal girl, and I met what I thought was a boy when I snuck out of my house. He turned out to be what is called a noctalis. He gave me some of his blood and I woke up like this. Well, not exactly.”

“Drugs? Did he give you drugs? Are you on drugs, Brooke?” He thought I was high. Well, blood certainly could make me feel that way.

“I wish it were that easy.” It was time to bring out the big guns.

“Bet you I can climb that tree in thirty seconds.”

“What?”

“Bet you I can climb that tree in thirty seconds. Time me,” I said, hopping back off the stump. He took a second, but got out his phone.

“Go.”

I made it in fifteen.

“Holy shit,” Jamie said as I stared down at him from the swaying top of the oak tree. Now I was really going to blow his mind. I leaned out and let go of the tree.

“Brooke!” Jamie called as I was already falling. He rushed to catch me and I adjusted myself so I landed right next to his outstretched hands, making a cloud of dust as my feet slammed into the earth.

“Hey,” I said, giving him another smile. The shocked look on his face was so funny that I laughed. He stood, stunned, unable to comprehend.

“Boo,” I said, touching his shoulder.

“How did you do that?” His voice quavered. I didn't like scaring him, but I needed him to know. I was going to follow through with this. He was going to understand. Because then he would leave and he would be saved.

“I told you. I'm not human. You believe me now?”

He swallowed a few times and shook his head back and forth, like he was trying to shake everything I had told him out of it.

“I guess I have to.”

“See? Now you know why I came to see you this morning. Because I can never see you again.” The words pierced me as they came out of my mouth. I wanted to break them, shatter them and take them back.

“What are you?”

“A fairy. Or faerie. However you want to spell it. I'm also a vampire.”

“No, really.”

“Really. I have a genuine set of wings hidden back here,” I said, pointing to my back. Maybe I was going to have to bust them out.

Jamie scoffed. He was a tough nut to crack. “I have a really hard time believing that.”

“I can show you, if you want.” He crossed his arms and jerked his chin up.

“Go ahead.” Even though I'd raced up a tree and leapt to the ground without any effort, he still didn't believe me. I guessed a pair of white wings was in order. Luckily, I had some.

“I'm going to have to take my shirt off. I don't want to ruin it. Unless you don't mind giving me yours.” He hesitated, and then stripped it off, tossing it to me. I had to fight the urge to inhale his smell. “So here I go.”

I pulled the shirt over my head, watching his face the entire time. His pupils pulsed and he swallowed. I smiled inwardly with satisfaction. I wasn't anything special, but that didn't matter to Jamie. He looked at me as if I was the first girl he'd ever seen. Or like I would be the last. The sun hit his hair, and for a moment, he looked like an angel. I forgot for a moment about my wings.

“You ready for this?” I said one last time, just to make sure.

He shook his head back and forth, and his face went red. “Not really. I think I'm still hallucinating.”

I wasn't sure if he was talking about the other stuff I'd done or taking my shirt off. Maybe both. I grinned at him and let my wings come out. They made a strange sort of tearing that freaked me out the first few times it happened. I turned my head and watched them come, like little flags popping out from my skin. I seriously didn't know where they went when I wasn't using them, but then I had no idea why my heart didn't beat, either. I turned to the side so he could see them. They reached about three feet from my back, curved, and reminded me of moth or butterfly wings. Or fairy wings.

I finally looked at Jamie. “Has your mind been blown?” I said, fluttering them.

His mouth was wide open, and he blinked a bunch of times as if he had something in them.

“It's real,” I said, turning my back so he could see them full-on. “You can touch them.”

I glanced over my shoulder and he swallowed again. His heart was racing as if his life was in danger. His blood pumped so loud and quickly, it was all I could do not to lunge at him and sink my teeth into his jugular. Why did humans have to be so irresistible?

“I can't believe you're real. How is this possible?”

He put his hand out and lurched forward, stopping just short of touching them. I flapped them once and he gasped. The sound made me giggle.

“Go ahead, don't be shy.” I moved backward until one of my wings bumped into his hand. He flinched back. I smiled at him and moved my wing slowly so it brushed his hand again. His skin was so warm. He stroked my wing and looked at his fingers, as if something had rubbed off on him.

“How are they attached?”

“Right here,” I said, pointing to the spot where they met my back. He couldn't completely see them because my bra was sort of in the way. Sighing, I reached behind and snapped it off. I tossed it to the ground and wrapped one arm around my front. His heart picked up. Boys.

I bent forward so he could see better.

“See? They go right into my skin.” Moments later his hands prodded the spot where my wings met my back, looking and searching. Still unconvinced. “Go ahead and yank on them. They won't come up.”

“I don't want to hurt you.” That really made me laugh.

“Jamie, there's no way you can hurt me. I dare you. Come on. You know you want to.” Either the teasing or the curiosity got the better of him, and he took hold of my left wing and gave it a tug. I barely felt it.

“Harder,” I said. Really, he hadn't tried. He yanked again. Nope. He couldn't even throw me off balance.

“How do you do that?”

“I told you. I'm immortal. I'm a predator, so I'm stronger than my prey. That would be you.” I winked at him and his eyes bulge again. Somehow, he made even that movement attractive. He was one beautiful boy. His fingers went back to work on my back, and he peered at my wings from every angle.

His hands skated across the bare skin of my back. If I had been human, I wouldn't have been able to stay still. As it was, all I could think of was turning around and letting him touch me everywhere.

“It's not possible. It can't be,” he said when his inspection was over and I was able to compose myself.

“How is anything possible? I don't know. I just know that it's real. I'm real.”

I leaned down and got my bra, snapping it on before he could react. I sucked my wings back in, threw his shirt over my head and turned around. He stepped back and I could sense that his legs weren't going to support him. His knees buckled and I caught him, lowering him until he was sitting on the ground.

“Easy, tiger.” I sat next to him and waited a second before I said anything. “It happened three days after I swapped blood with this guy. Well, he wasn't a guy. He was this thing called a noctalis.” I went on to explain meeting Ivan, being changed and waking up as an immortal. He listened, his eyes fixed on my face.

“I just can't believe this is real. So you're a vampire fairy?”

“Pretty much. It's a weird mishmash of mythology, isn't it? If it wasn't my life, I'd say it sounded ridiculous.” I lay back and closed my eyes, listening to him think. Funny how many sounds humans make that they aren't even aware of.

It was like I could hear the clicking of his mind. His scent was all around me, and I fingered the material of his shirt. It was ginormous on me, but I didn't mind. I liked having something that had touched his skin, touching mine.

“Vampire?” he said. I knew what he was asking. I wasn't sure if he wanted the answer, though. “Was that what you were doing on the side of the road?”

“Yeah, I was going to use you for your blood. Everything I told you is true. I was trying to lure my prey.”

“You want my blood?” His fear spiked again, and I opened my eyes and turned my head so I could look at him. He tried to pretend that he wasn't scared of me, but he was. Everything else about him betrayed the lie.

“Yeah, I do. I want everyone's blood. It's part of the immortality deal. Can't get anything for free.”

He shifted, propping his elbows on his knees. “Why haven't you taken it? Not that I'm complaining, but it doesn't make sense.”

“I know.” I'd forgotten how to sigh, or else I would have. “It's complicated, Jamie, and I don't know if I have enough time to explain it right now. I don't know if I can explain it.”

I moved over to my stomach, propping my chin on my hands. Jamie watched me, as if I was going to dive at him.

“So, you're not afraid I'm going to rip your throat out?” I asked.

He shook his head, as if he was coming out of a trance. I hadn't meant to pull him in, but I couldn't really control it.

“I'm sorry. It sounds so unbelievable. You just don't look like you could hurt anyone.”

“Oh, Jamie. I have wings. Anything is possible.”

“I guess so,” he said, squinting at the sun, which was behind a veil of clouds, at least for a moment.

“I'm still not sure if I believe you, even though I don't have any more reasons not to.”

I sat up, moving a little bit closer to him, testing to see how close he would let me get. Like a frightened horse, you had to move closer slowly so as not to scare it. Something about horses triggered a memory.

There had been a farm down the road from my house in New Hampshire and sometimes the owner let me ride if I mucked out stalls and stuff. The memory sparkled like a shiny stone and flooded my brain. I grabbed onto it, making sure it would stay.

Jamie watched me, puzzled. I moved closer again until our shoulders were touching.

“That's okay. You don't have to. I just wanted you to know.” I bumped my shoulder against his, and it sent him off balance. I grabbed onto him again, but I didn't let go. We stayed like that, with me holding him for several heartbeats.

“Will I ever see you again?” He asked the question I didn’t know how to answer.

I let go of him. “I don't think so. It's too hard to be around you.”

“The... blood?” He had a hard time saying the word, as if it choked him.

“Mostly. There are other things I need to do, and I can't get involved with anyone.” I moved away from him.

He raised one eyebrow. So sexy. “More secrets?”

“Just a few. A girl never shares them all,” I said with a smile. “Not even an immortal one.”

“You just look like a girl to me. A beautiful girl, but still, a girl.” This time, he was the one who moved closer to me. He reached out one of his hands and dragged a finger down my cheek. As if he was checking to see if I was still real.

“I was a girl. Just two weeks ago. If only I could have met you then.” He took his hand away as if he was embarrassed. I touched his shoulder.

“It's okay. At least we met at all.” He looked down at his hands, turning them over. They're rough and calloused, probably from playing sports. Tough hands, soft heart.

“Yeah,” I said. It was an inadequate word for what was going on, but it was the best I could come up with when his scent was surrounding me.

“How long are you going to stay?” he said.

“I don't know. There are things I need to do.” I couldn't believe I was sharing that with him. I had a hard time controlling my mouth when he was around. It hadn't been a problem until I met him. What had he done to me?

“What kind of things?”

“Someone I need to find,” I said.

“Who?”

“I don't know. I just have a name, and what they look like.”

“Will you tell me? Maybe I could help you.”

“I'm not in danger, Jamie. You are.”

“How can I know that if you won't tell me? For all I know you're involved with the mob.” That made me giggle. The things he came up with.

“I'm immortal, Jamie. Anything the mob has can't hurt me. Not even bullets.”

“What if they have garlic?”

“I have no idea who came up with that one, but it's not true. I could roll naked in a field of garlic and be perfectly fine.”

He blushed. “Is it weird I kind of like that image?”

I was not intimately acquainted with blood and how it moved in the human body, especially when it went to certain places. If I was, I would have blushed, too.

He changed the subject.

“Okay. I want to help you, Brooke. If you'll let me.”

“Even if I want your blood right now?”

He nodded. “I want to show you something else.” He got up and started walking in the opposite direction of his truck. Without him saying anything, I knew we were going toward the little pond located on the other side of the trees. It was an inlet that flowed to the ocean, so the water was only half fresh. He still held branches out of my way, which I thought was sweet.

“You still don't believe me about the blood thing, do you?” I said as we walked down to the edge of the pond.

Jamie leaned down, squatting to pick up a rock. “I just... It sounds so insane.” He selected a flat rock and tossed it at the still water where it skipped three times before sinking to the bottom of the pond. Judging by the sound, the pond was only about fifteen feet deep in the middle.

“I used to skip rocks on the lake when I was little,” I said, picking up my own rock.

“We have a pond in back of our house and when my dad would get drunk I used to go out there and do that. If I could skip a rock more than twice, I would stay out and do another. If I skipped it less, I had to go back inside. I got really good at skipping rocks,” he said, looking at me.

“I never met my dad. My mom kind of slept around, so he could have been anybody.” My rock skipped five times. Not bad.

“That sucks,” he said, tossing another. His skipped five. Point for the human.

“Yeah.”

“You're the only person I've ever told that to,” he said, tugging on his ear.

I almost smiled. How was it this boy I'd just met was sharing things like this with me? “Really?”

He grabbed another rock. “Yeah. The guys on the basketball team don't really get it. They've all got normal parents. My friend, Tex, has both of her parents. They're jerks, but at least they're normal, too. My friend Ava's mom is dying of cancer, so she gets it.”

I'd never heard him talk about his friends before.

“Ava?” I asked.

“Yeah, we've been friends forever. I'm not interested in her that way. In case you were wondering.” I was wondering about that, but what I was most concerned with was how many girls there could be in Sussex with the name Ava.

My bet was not that many.

“What's she like? Ava.” I had to play it cool. He couldn't know I was fishing. I just kept skipping rocks as if I didn't care.

“She's been my best friend since sixth grade. She was the only person who was nice to me, so we just started hanging out. People used to call us beauty and the beast.”

“Which one were you?”

“Seeing as how I was a shrimp with acne and bad teeth, I'm sure you can figure it out.” It was impossible to think of the boy standing next to me as anything less than wildly attractive.

“Look at you now.”

“Not so beastly anymore.”

“Is she pretty?”

“Yeah, she's one of those girls who's pretty but doesn't know it. Dark hair, green eyes. Not my type, though.”

I found it funny that he kept trying to reassure me that he wasn't interested in her. Dark hair, green eyes. It was her. I didn't really believe in fate or luck or anything like that, but I wasn't sure what the chances were that I would end up meeting the best friend of the girl I came to find. I should just stop being shocked.

“What is your type?”

He grinned at me, and if I had a beating heart, it would have skipped a beat. “Brunettes with car trouble.”

“I just happen to know a girl like that. But she has wings and she likes blood.”

He shook his head. “It's gonna take me a really long time to accept that. I think I'm going to need to sleep on it.”

“That's okay. I've got time. Immortal, remember?”

He thought about that for a second, tossing another rock. “So if I stabbed you right now, you wouldn't die?”

“You couldn't stab me. My skin is too tough. I know; I've tested it.” I held my hand out and he took it in both of his, brushing his finger across my skin. I wanted him so much.

“It doesn't feel like regular skin.”

“I know. Not the same temperature, either.”

His fingers traced circles on my hand. It felt so small in both of his. He pressed it between his two large hands and it disappeared. Funny how I could crush his hands with one of mine, but his were so much bigger.

He didn't want to let go of my hand. “You don't look dangerous. Well, not in that way.”

I took my hand back. “Just because I don't have fangs, doesn't mean I'm not a bloodsucker.”

Twelve

Ava

What the hell? First Kamir and Rasha drop the bomb on us that Kamir is Di's father's brother (say that five times fast) and then they throw a sister at us that we never knew existed, and she has a bind with Di, but not one that we can break or use as leverage. Hello, Thing Five. Or was she Thing Four? Who the hell can keep track anymore?

Despite the fact that Helena can't give us an easy way out, she. Is. Awesome.

When she first came out from behind a giant stone I thought I was going to throw up. She didn't look scary. In fact, she looked like a goddess, with her crazy long white-gold hair. I expected another Cal experience and already started thinking about how we were going to escape, but then she opened her mouth and told us about Di. Without us even having to ask.

When she finishes her story, we're all silent, mulling it over. So. Much. Information.

“Soo, yeah. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.” I hope I am not the only one who thought there had to be a catch.

“Why are you telling us this?” I say.

She blinks. “Why wouldn't I?”

“Because we're complete strangers who may or may not want to use said information to destroy your sister?”

“Ava,” Peter says, as if I said something scandalous.

“Please, she's not a moron. Why else would she have come?” Tex says, joining my team. We're not very stealthy with our information gathering.

“You're right, I'm not a moron. Why am I here? Now that's the question,” Helena says.

“And the answer?” Tex asks.

Helena blinks again. She may act human, but she is still a noctalis. “My parents asked me to come. I know that sounds silly, but they asked if I wanted to see Maine, and I haven't been out of India in ages, so I came. They didn't tell me why, but I figured it out.”

“So you're not going to try and destroy us?” I say. No hidden motive? No nefarious plans?

She throws her hair over her shoulder. “Nope. I'm more of a make love not war kind of girl.”

I wait for someone else to say something, but it looks like I've been appointed spokesperson. “Are you going to help us?”

She stills. Aha.

“How about convincing her to not hate me and want me to burn in hell, and releasing these boys from their binds?” I jerk my thumb at Peter and Viktor. We also filled her in on all the drama so far.

She beams, showing dimples. She's like Shirley Temple, the vampire. “That, I can help with.”

“For real?” It can't be this easy.

“Sure thing!” She chirps, like I've just asked her to get pizza with us.

We have a little hope after all.

Peter

Ava and I agree via hand-squeezing that we need some time alone to discuss what we learned about Helena and Di, and what our plan will be. Her shock radiates through me and stirs up mine. Di never told me she had a sister.

I pick her up and fly her to a secluded part of the Sussex beach, setting her down on a patch of sand that is seaweed-free. A seagull cries at us, angry we are disturbing him, or hoping we have food.

Ava turns to me. “Can I just say, wow? Like, for real. Holy shit.”

“I agree.” Her shock mirrors mine. I do not remember being shocked, but this must be it.

“How did you not know?” She is not accusing me of not knowing, simply in awe that I would not know. I am in awe that Di was able to hide it.

“Di never spoke of her father, her family. She always said that the future belonged to those who took it, and the past was behind us.” Her sayings remind me of Claire and her proverbs.

“What a charmer,” she says, taking her shoes off and digging her feet into the sand. I do the same, shoving some in her direction. She laughs and shoves it back toward me, covering my feet.

“What did she talk about?”

I usually try to avoid talking about her, but ignoring her isn’t going to make her go away. We have to learn everything we can about her to destroy her.

“She talked about her love for us. Di is a wonderful storyteller.”

“I never really had time to notice,” she says with a little laugh. “She was always trying to kill me.”

“There were good times with her.”

“And bad times?” she adds.

“There are always both,” I say. You cannot have the good without the bad.

“Tell me about the bad times.”

I have to think for a moment. “Di brought out the worst in my nature. Or maybe she just enhanced it. I killed many people when I was with her.”

“That's not your fault. She was controlling you.”

Always looking for the good in me, my Ava.

“Sometimes yes. Sometimes no.”

She smiles. “More or less?”

“Yes.”

“Do you think it would work? That Helena can convince Di to leave us alone?” She wants to believe that it can happen, but doesn't think that it will.

“I do not know, Ava. The only thing I do know is that if we can do this, if Helena can do this, it would be best for all involved.”

“Then we could be together,” she says. “Maybe we could make our own bind.”

“No. I would never do that to you.”

“What if I asked you to?”

“No.”

She opens her mouth to argue, but sighs and looks out at the ocean instead. Her anger dissolves, the argument pushed aside for more important matters.

“Helena explained a lot. About Di and who she is,” I say.

“She got stuck in the friend zone. All of this,” she says, swirling her hands around to indicate our present situation, “because she got jilted by someone she loved. All of this because of one little promise.”

I am not so sure about that. Texas as a noctalis is a frightening image. She would be even more of a force of nature.

“Do you trust her?” she says, scooping some sand up and letting it run through her fingers.

“I have no reason not to,” I say.

“I can't even wrap my head around this right now. I think I need to go home and decompress.”

“Do you want me to come with you?”

“Yeah, why don't you come over and help me with my homework. You can just grab one of the textbooks and pretend. We'll have a human afternoon.” Her mood brightens, and I feel better as well.

“I would like that.”

She traces a heart in the sand, writing A + P. I smile as she traces a heart around it. I can't say the words, I can't even begin to think them, but I can draw a heart. If I had one, it would be hers.

Ava

“So where are you going to stay?” I ask Helena when Peter and I go back to the cemetery. Kamir and Rasha are also back. I know noctali don't sleep, but she didn't seem like the kind of girl or whatever who would want to be alone.

“Duh, with me,” Tex says, as if it's a given. I'm shocked. I didn't think she'd want anyone intruding on her precious time with Viktor.

“I can?” Helena jumps up and down, clapping her hands as if she just got asked to the prom.

“Absolutely!” Tex and Helena would have been twins in another lifetime. I also notice that when Helena gets excited, her accent comes out, just a touch. I've gotten good at hearing tones in voices ever since I met Peter.

“You good with that, Viktor?” I don't expect much of an answer, and I just get a blink.

“There are worse ways to spend an evening, I should think.”

“Your parents are going to notice there are three of you in that room, and if they don't, Coby will,” I say.

“Coby's too worried about his hair and his angst to notice,” Tex says. I very much doubt that, but I shut my mouth.

“So this was an interesting day,” I say to no one in particular. “I feel like we should have another powwow tomorrow. We have a lot of things to talk about.” Mainly how the hell we're going to get rid of Di, or at least get her to retract the binds.

“Works for me. You want to meet here tomorrow afternoon at one?” Tex says, speaking for her group.

“I'll be here as well,” Helena says.

“Sounds good,” I say and watch Tex and Viktor get back in her car. Helena waves to us and dashes off into the woods.

“I'm still not quite sure what to make of her,” I say to Peter as he shucks his shirt off and hands it to me.

“I am not sure, either. She is... very different from Di.”

“Understatement of the century, Peter.”

***

I tell Mom that Peter is coming over and his car is broken so I have to get in my car and pretend I'm picking him up, because Dad is in the kitchen when I get home. In reality I drive to the end of the driveway, pull onto the shoulder and try to get him to make out with me when he gets in the car.

“You're supposed to be nice,” I say. At least he let me hop over the console and straddle his lap. It's the sexiest position I've ever been in. I lean my face in, smiling at him. He reaches forward, almost meeting my lips before pulling back.

“Tease,” I say, smacking his chest. “All that love talk got to my head,” I say, trying to make a joke. “Sorry, I shouldn't have used the L word.” I try not to say it too much. It's like saying the devil's name or something.

“Come here,” he says, taking my face in one hand and pulling it toward his lips.

I smile against his mouth as we kiss. I tried slipping him tongue before, but he never lets me in. Until now. I'm so surprised, I pull back a little. He follows me, slipping his tongue into my mouth. I make a little sound of surprise as his tongue touches mine for the first time. Then it's like everything takes over and it's like we've done this a million times, except it feels like the first.

Our mouths work with each other instinctively. I know where to go and he knows how to lead me there. My hands slide under his shirt, feeling his hard stomach. His hands wrap around the back of my neck and dive into my hair. Who knew kissing was hotter when his temperature is lower than mine?

I have no idea how long we're in the car, but he's the one who pulls away first. I gasp for air.

“You need to remember to breathe, my Ava-Claire,” he says, pushing my hair away from my face. I giggle, drunk on his kisses.

“It's hard to remember so many things when you're kissing me. My brain kind of shuts down.”

“I understand the feeling.” His arms trace my sides. He never tries to undress me, and that bothers me a little.

“What's wrong?”

“You don't touch me.”

“I am touching you right now.” His fingers trail up my arms, making my skin shiver.

“You know what I mean,” I say, pushing my hands under his shirt to show him. He looks at me, not blinking. I wait for him to answer. It takes a few moments.

“The reason I don't do that is because I wouldn't be able to control what happened next. I would tear this car apart to get closer to you. This does not seem like the right venue for that sort of thing. Nor your bedroom. Too many breakable things.”

“So you're worried you're going to break some of my stuff? But not me, right?”

“It could happen,” he says. I entwine our fingers and hold them in front of our faces, studying the difference between his hand and mine. Somehow we work. The human and the vampire angel.

“So what you're saying is we need to be in a place where it's okay to break things.”

“It would be better that way, yes.” He's trying to figure out where my mind is going.

“Well, there's nothing to break in the sky,” I say, smiling.

“Ava, that would not work. What if I dropped you?”

I run my finger down his nose. “You wouldn't. I'm not afraid of falling when I'm with you.”

“It is a recipe for disaster.”

“Well, I don't really have a good track record of good decision making. Reckless, remember?”

“You are. My reckless girl.”

“I like it when you call me yours.”

“As I am yours.”

“I adore you,” I say, using his replacement for I love you.

“And I adore you.” He gives me the perfect smile. I want to make out with him again, but there isn't time.

“I think it's time for me to pick you up,” I say, using air quotes. Peter lifts me off his lap and deposits me in the driver's seat with way more grace than I used getting over there in the first place.

“I should probably be bringing something.”

“Don't worry about it,” I say. He doesn't need to kiss up to my mom, and my dad is always going to hate him. He could show up with an entire four-course feast and a Rolex for him, and Dad still wouldn't like him. Dads are engineered to hate their daughter's boyfriends, especially when his natural reaction to a noctalis is negative. It is a lose-lose situation.

“It will work out,” he says, and I turn the ignition.

“Someday I hope your confidence will rub off on me.” As well as other things.

I try to pull out of the ditch, but the tires just spin.

“Aw, crap.” I try, but the wheels just kick up dust.

“One moment,” Peter says, getting out and shutting the door. Seconds later, the car moves forward. I pull out of the ditch and into the road. I stop, giving him a chance to get in.

“My hero,” I say, clutching my hands to my chest. “What would I do without you?”

“Be human.”

“Pft. How boring,” I say, taking his hand.

***

Peter stays for dinner, but doesn't eat with us, because of his lactose intolerance. I also add that he was recently diagnosed with Celiac disease, which cancels out most other food. Peter gives me a look that says, nice going. I'm proud of myself.

Dad is surprisingly nice about it. Whereas before he was offended or something about Peter not eating with us, now he just says that it's a shame. I glance at Peter in shock. He just blinks.

“When do you get out of school, Peter?” Mom asks.

“June 15,” he says, naming the exact same day that I get out. It's easier that way.

“Do you have any summer plans?” She toys with her fork, not really eating anything. We all pretend not to notice.

“I have a job working in my mother's office. Photocopying and that sort of thing.” Wait, what? First I've heard of it. I smooth my face and pretend that I totally knew. He needs to share these things with me ahead of time.

“You're lucky to have a job already in place. I bet she's pushing you into a career in law,” Mom says, giving him a little wink Dad doesn't see.

“She does push me, but I have decided that I have to make my own path.”

“Well, that's very admirable, Peter,” Dad says. I seriously want to ask who he is and what he did with my dad, but I can't get the words out.

“We were going to watch a movie. Would you like to join us? I know you said you had to get home for dinner, but I can talk to your mother if you'd like.”

“That is unnecessary. I will send her a text message,” Peter says, smiling. Perfect. He even remembers to blink and everything. What a good pretend human.

“Your mother won't mind?” Dad says.

“I'm sure she won't.”

We settle in to watch the newest sequel of a spy movie that Dad picked out. It isn't my cup of tea, nor my mother's, but it's gripping. Peter and I are allowed to share the recliner, and I even get to sit in his lap. I tip my head back and get crazy comfortable. Peter twists and untwists our fingers with one hand, and dances his fingers up my arm with the other. I've never been so comfortable in my life.

I glance over and see Mom and Dad in almost the same position, her head on his chest and his hand rubbing her back.

Helena is right. It is all about love.

Thirteen

Peter

I call Viktor again that night to discuss the latest developments. Ava is tired after the long day, and her head is full of so many things, it is impossible for me to be able to follow their twisting paths. Every time I think I know her completely, I am proved wrong. I like that.

“Did you see that coming?” I say.

“No, I did not. Tex's shock was overwhelming. Her mind is a very loud place.” I could only imagine.

“How are you coping with her emotions?”

“It is... stressful. Sometimes I wish I could go back to Russia.”

“Do you regret it?”

“No. I often wonder if it would have been like this with Adele. If her mind was such a chaotic place. I imagine it was. I wish I could have shared it with her.”

“It is a lot to get used to. Do you crave her blood?”

“Yes. It is constant. I do not know how you can feed from Ava so infrequently.”

“I have little need of it. What little she gives me is satisfying. I hope it will be that way for you.”

We have nothing to go on. I wish there was some sort of book for this, like the humans have their holy books. It appears that no noctalis ever found the need to write anything down. Most of the stories of us are passed orally, from what Viktor tells me from what he learned from other noctali. I felt the urge to write something down. To see it in print; to make it real.

“I will see you tomorrow,” I say.

“Goodnight.”

Viktor hangs up and I grab the notebook Ava keeps beside her bed, along with a pen. I turn past several lists she has made, including one with questions about being a noctalis. It makes me smile. I wish I had a mirror so I could judge if it looks right.

I find a blank sheet and tear it out, hoping she won't notice. I turn the pen in my hand, thinking of what to say. I know what I want to say, but I can't. It will end me. I can't even think about it. I switch my thoughts to something else. I write her name. Ava-Claire Sullivan. I write my name next to it, Peter Henry Mackintire.

Even slower than a human, I trace a heart around our names. Just a simple heart. Two rounded bumps and one end that is sharp like an arrow. Smooth and hard. Rough and soft. Death and life. Me and her. I wait for a second.

Ava mumbles in her sleep. I hope she is not having a nightmare. She turns on her back and her shirt rides up, exposing some skin at the base of her spine. I press the pen to her skin, making another heart, and then another. She stirs a little and I stop. She won't know they are there unless she somehow sees her back. I make dozens of them, some small, some larger. I am shocked she doesn't wake up. My hand smears some of the ink, and the hearts blend together. I stop and sit back, staring at the black ink on her pale skin. I kiss one of the hearts, tasting the pen and her skin.

I brush my thumb across the hearts. My Ava-Claire. Covered in hearts.

Ava

“You're watching me,” I say the next morning when I wake up. I had some really weird dreams, but I don't really remember them. At least I didn't have the burning one again.

“You are beautiful,” he says, as if he's commenting that it's Tuesday. I don't exactly feel beautiful first thing in the morning. I pull myself toward the bathroom, knocking into several pieces of furniture on my way.

First thing, I check my neck. It just looks like I've got a little red mark, like I bumped against something. Phew. I get in the shower and try to wake up. Peter stands at the door, which should be completely creepy, but it isn't. The door stays closed. It's also a relief to know that if I should slip and fall or have a seizure, or whatever, that he's right there to catch me. He's always there to catch me.

After my shower, he watches me walk around my room as if he only has eyes for me. It's so freaking sexy, I can't even look at him or else I'll think about jumping on him and tearing his shirt off. Too late.

“Ava,” he says as a warning.

“Sorry. I can't help it.”

“Try. Please.” Easier said than done.

We meet Helena, Tex and Viktor at the cemetery. I mention something to Mom about a shopping trip with Tex. It sounds legit.

“Hey!” Helena says, as if she's already had four cups of coffee. Except she hasn't, because she can't. So she just must be like that. All the time.

“Mmm,” Tex says, her eyes half-closed and her head on Viktor's arm. She can't really reach his shoulder. He looks down at her and moves his arm so it's around her, letting her head fall into his side. He looks a little shocked, but I see a little smile pass over his face like a cloud. He sees me and winks. I make the 'I'm watching you' motion with my fingers.

“Soooo, about yesterday. I'm really sorry I dumped all that heavy stuff on you,” Helena says.

“It's okay.” I still really haven't processed. It's like my brain is stuck or on strike or something. “We can talk about something else.”

“Unicorn,” Tex says sleepily. Viktor is now supporting most of her weight.

“Unicorns are so last year. It's all about the zombies,” Helena says.

“What?” Tex perks up.

Somehow, in all the madness, she, Tex and I start discussing the zombie apocalypse. Because it's an important thing. Much more important than planning how Helena is going to convince Di to cease her vendetta against me and let Peter and Viktor go. There will be more time for that later. The boys sit back and let us go, knowing that there's no stopping this runaway train of a conversation.

“See!” I say when Helena agrees with me about the treadmills not working.

“Whatever,” Tex says, all huffy. There is a lull and we all sit back. We humans sink to the uneven ground and the noctali follow. I have my head in Peter's lap, and Tex has her head on Viktor's shoulder. Helena has her shirt off again, but at least she's still got the bikini top on.

“What should we do now? Will you take me shopping? I haven't been real shopping in forever. I mostly buy everything online,” Helena says. She's wearing the cutest skirt with tiny pink flowers on it, and she has folded her white peasant top so it won’t wrinkle while she gets her daily sun dose. I can tell from the way they're made that they're more expensive than most of the clothes in my closet.

“You want to go shopping?” I say, just to make sure. Not that it doesn't sound like fun, but we should really be concentrating on Di.

“Yes! Please?” She claps her hands and pouts. If I didn't know she was a noctalis, I'd never know the difference. She is so human. “I know you want to deal with the Di thing, but can we do that tomorrow? I mean, I did just get here.”

“What about your parents?”

“They are busy and are going back to India in a few days. They said I could stay as long as I wanted.” She sounds like a teenager asking to stay out late at a party.

“I'm in,” Tex says. “I could sooo use some girl time.”

Helena squeals with delight. Wow, she is so human.

“What the hell?” I say. We aren’t going to get to Di today, and we need Helena to continue to want to help us. “Brunswick? I told my mom we were doing a girl thing anyway.” Perfect. I don't even have to lie.

“What about the boys?” Tex says, as if just remembering that they have to come with us. We both glance at them.

“We will be right behind you, but a suitable distance away so you can have girl time,” Peter says.

“I like this plan,” Tex says. “Sorry, dude, but I need someone who gets excited about pink to shop with.”

“I could get excited about pink,” Viktor says. Tex gives him a look. “Perhaps not.”

“Oh, yay!” Helena has enough energy for five people. Maybe she had too much blood or sun or something.

“You don't need to, um...” I still don't know what the PC way to say feed is.

“No, I'm good. I ate before I came.” Her face brightens with a smile. God, she's so perky, but not in an annoying way.

This is going to be interesting.

***

Two hours later I'm shoved into a dressing room with a baby blue dress I would never have picked out for myself. Tex and Helena joined forces and attacked me with it. I couldn't really say no to Helena.

“Put it on,” she says, a hint of whine in her voice. She sounds just like Tex when she begged to meet Viktor.

I slip the dress on over my head and turn around in the mirror. It's true, the lighting makes me look like a washed-out alien with my big eyes, but the dress is a nice color. It also makes my boobs look fantastic. It's sort of a ’50s style, with a tight, high-cut top and a skirt that flares out and hits around my knees.

“I know you've got it on, come out and give us a twirl,” Helena says. God, she's worse than Tex, and I didn't think that was possible.

I open the door and emerge in the dress. Tex and Helena share a look.

“I'm amazing,” Helena says, sighing.

“Way to go, girl.” Tex gives Helena an air high-five, since they can't touch skin. “You are so getting it.”

I peer down at the price tag, and my eyes pop. Oh hell, no. “Yeah, that's not gonna happen,” I say, turning back and forth in the 360-degree mirror. It is a really pretty dress. Mom would love it.

“I've got it covered,” Helena says, pulling a number of cards from out of nowhere. “Pick a card, any card.” She fans them out in front of my face. I'm conflicted. On one hand, I really want the dress. On the other, those cards were probably obtained not-so legally and I shouldn't participate in that kind of thing.

“Come on, be bad. I can tell you're the kind of girl who follows the rules.”

“She is,” Tex says, rolling her eyes. They're egging me on, but I don't want to be called a wuss. I pick the prettiest card, which is from a lingerie shop and hand it to Tex.

“I'll be right out,” I say, turning around and going back into the dressing room to take off my new dress. Peter is going to love it.

***

“So how old are you?” Tex asks Helena as we two humans eat lunch and she watches us. I have gotten used to the non-blinking nature of the noctalis, but Helena is so human-seeming it is odd when she doesn’t blink and stays so still.

“I was fifteen when I changed. My birthday is June 16, so you should totally get me a present.”

“How do you remember that?” I say. She blinks.

“I don't know. I remember a lot of things from my human life.”

“Where are you from? You don't have an accent,” I say. I am wary of noctali with accents after the whole Cal situation.

“Yes, I do. I just choose not to use it,” she says, switching to her Greek accent.

“I have an infatuation with the American lifestyle, so I emulate it,” she says, switching back. They're really good at that. She is both the weirdest and most-human noctalis I have ever met.

“I know,” she says, as if responding to my thoughts. I give her a look and she giggles. “I'm good at reading faces. Something my parents taught me. You're an easy one to read.”

“So I've been told,” I say dryly. Does everyone have to point that out?

“It means your spirit is pure, and that's a good thing,” Helena says.

“I've been told that before, too.” I look down at my nachos, thinking about Peter. He and Viktor are somewhere in the mall, but I can't tell exactly where. He's close enough that I'm only a little uncomfortable, but far enough that I can't pinpoint his location.

“Where are they?” Tex keeps looking around, hoping to see them. She wants girl time, but doesn’t know what being away from Viktor will do to her.

Peter tugs at our connection, and I point.

“They're that way,” I say, getting up and tossing my trash. I'm itching to see Peter, and he's itching to see me. He was blocking me, but he's not anymore. I walk faster, Tex and Helena on my heels. Actually, I can see Helena gliding along behind me as if she was raised on a runway.

I walk faster, almost running to get to him. It's only when I reconnect with him that I realize that missing him is like missing one of my limbs. Or all of them.

I see him outside of Sears. We finally meet, and I throw my body upward and press my lips to his. He opens his mouth and lets me kiss and devour him, and he gives it right back to me. Everything else around us melts and it's just the two of us. We haven't kissed like this in public. I'm always too scared. I don't know what makes me do it, but I'm really glad once he starts kissing me back.

Finally, he pulls away. “What was that for?”

“I bought a new dress,” I blurt out.

Peter smiles, and I have to fight the urge to smother it with another kiss. I realize my feet aren't touching the ground. He's got me around the waist, and our faces are almost level.

“So this is what it's like to be tall,” I say as he slowly sets me on my feet again.

“Jesus, get a room,” Tex says, but her left side is glued to Viktor. Yeah, exactly.

“I think it's beautiful,” Helena says, with a dreamy sigh. “I'm jealous.” How is that possible? People are nearly running into walls trying to get a better look at her. I can’t tell if it's the hair or her bubbly energy, but there's something about her. She's like Prozac packaged in a cute girl. Noctalis. No wonder Di fell for her.

***

“How was your shopping trip?” Mom says as I walk through the door. I asked Peter to come in, but he doesn't want to wear out his welcome with Dad, even though Dad has been nice to him lately. I wasn't going to hold my breath or make any sudden movements to kill all the progress we already made.

“Got a new dress,” I say, because I can't really hide it. I ripped the tag off so she wouldn't see how much it was. There is no way my part-time job could pay for such an extravagance. I pull it out and hold it up. She gasps and touches the fabric.

“It's gorgeous. You'll look like something out of the movies. Wow, Ava-Claire. It doesn't look like something you'd pick out.”

“Peter picked it out,” I say because it's way easier than explaining the insanity that was today.

“He has good taste.”

“Who does?” Dad emerges from his office and he's looking tired again. I smell the residue from a cigarette he had a few hours ago.

“Peter. He picked out this dress.”

“Nice,” he says with a small smile. He's stressed out today, I can tell. “I'm going to pick up take-out. I got you eggplant parmesan, because I know you don't want the lasagna because it has meat in it. Is that okay?”

I give him a hug for remembering. “Yeah, that's fine.”

He gives me a tight smile and gives Mom a peck on the cheek. Mom holds the dress up to me, squinting as if trying to picture me in it.

“Go put it on,” she says, shoving it at me.

“How much did you spend on that?” Dad says as he's heading out the door. Great, I can't even buy a dress anymore.

“It was on sale.”

He grunts and shuts the door. So much for progress. I sigh and Mom gives me a look. I don't like that look. It's the Mom look. I clutch the dress to my chest, as if it can protect me.

“Baby, we need to talk.” Uh oh. I'm not trying the dress on anytime soon.

“Okay,” I say because I can't really say no to her. She has a limited amount of time to impart her wisdom. A lump forms in my throat as we walk to the couch. I fold the dress over the edge. So much for that.

“I'm not going to beat around the bush. You and your father need to start getting along.” I open my mouth to say something, but she puts up her hand to stop me. Shut up, Ava. “I'm not saying that it's your fault. Both of you are having a hard time and it shows, but I can't leave this world without knowing that the two of you will take care of each other and get along. I need to know that you can function without me.”

The truth is, we can't. We aren't going to function without her. She has to know that on some level. She can hope, but the truth is that things are going to go downhill. We may be okay right now, but we are walking on thin ice. Even if I become immortal and start a life with Peter, I can't abandon my dad. She's right. I could try harder. I could not fight with him so much. I wish I could blame it on the Claiming, my angry episodes and the fact that I want to suck his blood most of the time I'm around him, but I can't.

I'm a terrible daughter.

I start to cry, and Mom pulls me into her arms.

“It's okay, baby. There is always a new tomorrow. It's always darkest before the dawn, right?” I nod my head as she holds me. Her scent has changed again, and I can tell she is getting closer. I hold her as tight as I can.

“See? It'll be okay. The reason you and Sam butt heads is because you're so alike.” I don’t agree with her there, but I wasn't going to argue. “You're both very stubborn and have a hard time admitting you're wrong.”

Yes, those things are both true. Still, that doesn’t mean we can get along. I'll have to make a better effort on top of everything else, but I'm going to do it, because I can do it for her.

“Just remember that I love you, and even if I'm not here, my love is. Right here,” she says, touching my heart. I would carry her there. Even if my heart stops beating.

Fourteen

Peter

“Is she asleep?” Helena's voice says outside Ava's window that night.

“Yes,” I say. Ava's breathing has been regular for a while. It is easy to hear when a human is awake and when they are asleep.

“Good,” Helena says, coming in the window. She has a new outfit on that I assume she bought when the girls went shopping. I am not nervous about having her here. Ava is scared of her, but I am not. I don't have a reason to trust her; I just do. The incident with Cal taught me a lot about trust. I always had red flags with Cal. I just chose to ignore them.

“I'm not here to hurt you, I hope you know that.”

“I do,” I say, moving away from Ava. I replace my body with one of her numerous pillows and she grabs onto it. I will have to return quickly. I have tried this method before and it usually only takes her ten minutes before she realizes the pillow is not me and wakes up.

Even in sleep she needs me.

“I don't really know why I'm here. Di and I are ancient history. Literally.” She laughs so easily.

“How do you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Be so human. It seems very easy for you.”

“It isn't. I've had decades of practice. I also watch a lot of television. That helps.”

“Ava and I watch movies quite a bit. I have not picked up much that is useful.”

“Your smile isn't too bad.”

“Thank you.” She goes to Ava's bookshelf and browses the titles. “You're probably wondering why I am here.” She drops her cute American accent and speaks English with her Greek accent.

“More or less.”

“I wanted to ask you about her. About Di. It has been so long since I saw her. I am not a part of her life anymore. I know it is crazy, but I miss her. I did not know how much until I thought of her. I put her deep in a part of my mind and tried not to think about it.”

“I understand.” Viktor and Ivan did the opposite, thinking only about the love they lost.

“I've had so many years to think about what to say to her, and I still do not know.”

I understood that as well. I thought about what I would say to my family, if I ever saw them again. Even after they died, I would think about a world in which we would see one another again. I also think about Ava.

“Words are hard to find, even when you have a thousand years to try and think of what to say,” I say.

“Is she very angry?” She knew the answer.

“Yes. She has become bitter with time. It is not your fault. We are all responsible for our own actions. She made her decisions.”

“Do you think it will work?” She is unsure, however confident she tries to appear in front of the humans.

“It depends on Di. I cannot say. She is my mother, but I feel as if I know so little about her.”

“She's like that. You never know where you stand.”

“Yes.”

Ava moves in her sleep, gripping the pillow. I wait for her to wake up, but she says my name and goes back to sleep.

“I am sorry about your bind. It seems Di wanted to replicate her own noctalis upbringing by taking out her anger at Akash for making her love. It seems that she has decided love is the best weapon.”

“And control.” I wait. Clearly, she has more to say.

“I am sorry to talk so much. Normally I have my brothers and sisters to converse with.”

“It is fine,” I say, waiting for her to continue.

“I want to help you. I want to mend things with Di. I want this to be a happy ending.”

“I want that, too.” I touch Ava's face.

“I'm scared. I know I shouldn't admit that, that noctali don't get scared. But I am.”

I hadn't known fear until I met Ava. Even before I Claimed her, I was so afraid I would kill her or lose her, but I didn't understand what the emotion was. You never know fear until you had something to lose.

“I am scared, too.”

Ava

Helena pops out of Tex's car Monday morning, bright as a ray of sunshine. I'm sure she was just that perky in life.

“Hey! I was wondering, and Tex and I have been talking, and we thought it would be totally awesome if I came to school with you!” Her energy is so intense I almost can't look at her.

“I don't think that's a good idea.”

Despite the fact that she will fit in really well, she is only here for a week, and that will look crazy suspicious, especially if she is hanging out with us. Small town gossips would glom onto that like white on rice. I have enough crap to deal with now that everyone knows about my mother's diagnosis. At least I told Jamie about that before he found out from someone else. We should have told him when we went to the movies. Now we have even more secrets piled on top of secrets. One of them is bound to slip out.

“I agree,” Peter says.

He's been very touchy-feely and I'm loving it. It's like now that we have a plan and the end is in sight, he has more confidence that this can be fixed. The only thing we have to do is figure out if we are going to Di, or if we wait for her to come to us. I'm all for finding her and getting it done, but Helena seems reluctant and she's the one who holds the keys to the castle, so we're not going to push her.

I'm so afraid she's going to back out, because really, she has no reason to help us. Rasha and Kamir are nowhere to be found, but that doesn't surprise me. They don't seem like they'd be interested in seeing how the American teenager functions, and Helena said they were going home soon anyway. I'm still surprised that they came all this way to bring us Helena.

I catch Jamie's eye across the parking lot. There is a dazed look on his face, as if he's been hit over the head with something. I've never seen that look on his face before, so I'm instantly freaking out. God, I hope it's not something with Cassie or the baby. Maybe now isn't a good time to drop any secrets on him.

“Hey, James. What's up?”

“Not a whole lot. Shouldn't you be in school?” he says to Viktor and Peter.

“They have a teacher's workshop day, so they came with us,” I say, thinking on my feet. “And this is their cousin, Helena. She's just visiting.” At least we can introduce her and not pretend that she is something we are trying to hide.

“Hey, it's nice to meet you,” Helena says, sticking out her hand. Jamie looks at it, still dazed, and it takes him a second to shake it. Peter, Viktor and Helena all share a look that I don't understand. It's almost too quick, but I catch it. Peter squeezes my hand to tell me something. Dude, I can't read your mind.

“Nice to meet you, too. Whereabouts are you from?”

“New York, too.”

Tex and Helena have obviously made up another backstory. I am going to have to start writing these things down so I can keep track. One of these days I'm going to forget and then I'll be in trouble. Tex and I have discussed telling Jamie again, but with Helena around and the other stuff going on, it doesn’t feel like the right week. Really, we are putting it off and making excuses. Neither of us can imagine how he's going to react.

“You okay, Jamie?” I say.

“Yeah, I just... had an interesting weekend.”

“Did you do anything fun? I texted you a couple of times. I thought we could do a Miller's date with all of us soon.” I fight the urge to wave my hand in front of his face.

“Yeah, sorry. I was just... busy.” I stare at him, but he won't look at me. There's an uncomfortable silence as he tugs on his ear.

“What's her name?” Helena says.

“What?” Jamie looks at her as if she hasn't been standing there the whole time.

“What's her name? I know that look. You met a girl. Or maybe a guy? No judgment here.” She points to herself.

“How did you —” Jamie says.

“I'm not as dumb as I look,” Helena says.

“Did you meet someone?” I ask.

His face goes red — a rare occurrence. “Um, yeah. I did.”

“No way, really?” Tex squeals and claps her hands. “It's about time! Your standards are too freaking high. Who is it?”

“Her name is Brooke. She's not from around here.” That's it?

“Oh no, you don't get off that easy,” Tex says, poking his arm.

“We should get going. We're going to show Helena around town. See you at lunch?” Viktor says.

Peter gracefully makes his exit after giving me a kiss. Viktor says good-bye to Tex, and Helena calls out that she'll see us later.

“Speak. Now,” Tex says, sticking her finger in Jamie's face.

He shrugs and shifts his bag on his shoulder. “I don't know what you want me to say. She was by the side of the road with a broken car and I helped her. We started talking, and I don't know.”

“So that's where you were on Friday. You work fast, Jamie,” Tex says, raising her eyebrows up and down suggestively.

“It's not like that, Tex. She's... I can't really describe her.”

“Well, we have to meet her. Like right now.”

“She's... not here. She's with her family.”

“Did she move here?”

“Sort of. It's really complicated.”

“It doesn't sound good, Jamie,” I say. I'm getting red flags right and left.

“You don't know her,” he says defensively. What is his deal? It's like this girl has him under a spell.

“Can we get to know her? Why don't you invite her to come with us to Miller's? Then we can do it as a group thing.”

“I don't know. She's not really into fried food.”

What kind of girl is she? God, I hope she's not one of those girls who cares about every single calorie she puts in her mouth. Jamie wouldn't fall like this for a girl like that. No way.

“Then she can get a salad,” I say.

“I don't think so,” he says, tugging his ear again. I'm getting another huge red flag. My women's intuition is tingling.

“Why don't you want us to meet her?” I say, touching his arm. It's nearly time for us to go to class, but I don't really care if we're late. This is far more important.

“Oh, I don't know. Maybe because you're going to attack her?” The sarcasm drips from Jamie's voice. Why is he being like this?

“We won't attack her. Tex will be nice, right?” I say, glaring at her. She gives me a wide-eyed innocent look.

“Who, me? I can be nice.”

The bell rings, ending our discussion.

“Look, we'll talk later, okay? We just want to meet the girl that has you looking like you've been hit over the head,” I say, hugging his side. He sighs and puts his arm around me, and I get a strange smell. It's kind of sweet and reminds me of green apples. It's not a human smell. I take another whiff as he lets me go. No, I must have imagined it.

“I'll see you later,” he says, giving me a weird look. I think we need to talk just the two of us. Tex has a tendency to be more demanding than gentle when it comes to information.

“Text me,” I call after him.

“Are you chewing gum?” Tex asks me.

“No, why?”

“Something smells like apples.” She looks around as if a person in an apple costume is going to jump out at us from behind a car and explain the smell.

“Yeah, I smelled that, too. Huh.”

Tex shrugs and starts walking toward school, but I'm not as dismissive of the smell. I'm beginning to understand why Jamie doesn't want us to meet his new girl, and I'm wondering if he knows she's not human. Tex skips inside the building, but I make a detour. I know Peter will be waiting on the other side of the building.

“Is it someone you know?” I say even before I come around the corner. He's alone and looks unconcerned, but that doesn't mean anything. Peter never looks concerned about anything.

“It is someone new. I do not think he is in danger, since she hasn't hurt him. Helena will search. She should not be hard to find. She is new; that is why her smell is so strong.”

“Tell her to be careful.” I feel bad that Peter and Viktor are stuck babysitting Tex and me, but I'm glad they're not going into the unknown. I give him a quick kiss and rush to class.

I'm beyond late for class, and Mr. Galakis gives me the hairy eyeball when I walk in, but quickly puts it behind a mask of a smile. People are staring at me, and it takes a second for me to realize it's because everyone knows about Mom's diagnosis. How could I forget about that? Oh, right the whole Di/Helena thing had kind of put it out of my mind.

I sit down, wishing everyone would keep their eyeballs to themselves.

“Okay, everyone, get started on the problems on the board. When you're done, put your papers up here, take out your books and work on section twelve.” Everyone stops looking at me and a collective groan rolls through the room. The problems swim in front of my eyes. I really wish Peter was here. He'd explain them in a way that makes sense.

Mr. Galakis gets up from his desk and makes a beeline for mine. Oh, crap.

“Can I talk to you for a second, Ava?” Awesome. He has that pity face on. I've seen it before when Mom was first diagnosed, only this time it is magnified, so it is even more pitiful. Ugh.

“I just wanted to say that I heard about your mother, and I'm very sorry. I know you've been having a hard time lately and I wanted you to know that if you need more time, or an extension on you assignments, all you need to do is ask. If you don't feel up to taking the final, we can come up with some sort of project that can stand in for your grade. How does that sound?”

Okay, on the one hand, I don’t want to be treated differently than everyone else. It felt wrong, like a handout. On the other hand, there is no way I am going to be able to study as hard for the final as it would require to get even a decent grade. Decisions, decisions.

“You don't have to decide right now. Think about it and let me know by the end of the week.”

I nod my head and we go back inside. A hiss of whispering ceases. Just what I need. I go back to my desk, and an image of lighting the entire classroom on fire blooms in the back of my mind. I dwell on it for a moment before starting the problems on the board.

It's the same in my next class. My teacher pulls me aside with the pity face and gives me the same spiel. I tell her I'll think about it and smile sweetly. God, I'm going to get out of all my finals. They must have had some sort of meeting about me, because they all say relatively the same thing. By the time lunch rolls around, I'm exhausted and worried and stressed and ready to bite the next person who looks at me like they're sad for me.

Most of the people with that face don't even know me. Some of them say they are sorry to hear, blah, blah, blah. They don't care, really. That sounds bitchy and ungrateful, but it's true. There are only a few people on the planet that really feel for me, and they're already in my life.

I meet Peter and Viktor by my car and see Jamie jogging to his truck as if he's in a huge hurry. Hmm...

“Hey,” I say, pointing to Jamie. “Wonder where he's going.”

“I think it's time for a little recon trip,” Tex says, as we watch Jamie pull out. “Get in, quick, quick!” We all hop in my car, and I slam out of the parking space. I'm no racecar driver, but when you live on the back roads in Maine, you gain certain driving skills. Like being able to drive sixty on a winding back road without crashing.

“Go, go, go!” Tex screams from the backseat. I can't really go fast since we're in the school zone, but as soon as we pass the flashing yellow light, I hit the gas.

“Which way did he go?”

“That way,” Peter says, pointing. “I can hear his truck easily.” It's true. If I really listen, I can hear it.

“Good thinking,” I say, patting his arm.

“Hurry up!” Tex screams as if this is some kind of movie where we're chasing the bad guys.

“Tex, calm down. This isn't a movie, we're not in Italy and Jamie is not a drug dealer we're trying to track down.”

“We could pretend it was,” she says, pouting. I start humming the music from Mission: Impossible under my breath. Tex joins in as we swerve right and left onto more and more rural roads that are filled with larger and holier potholes.

“Where the hell is he going?” At this rate, we're never going to make it back in time, but neither is he.

We're basically in the middle of nowhere when Jamie’s truck stops. Just trees. His truck is tucked into a little pull off that hunters probably use during turkey season. I pull in behind him. No use trying to hide.

As soon as we get out of the car, Helena pops out from behind the trees.

“Found him,” she says with a dimpled grin.

“Yeah, so did we,” I say, pointing to his truck.

“He reeks of her. I've been staying downwind so she can't smell me, but I can smell her. She's new. Just about two weeks old, I'd guess.”

“What does she want with him?” I ask.

Helena smiles.

“What does any girl want with an attractive nice boy?” she says.

“Blood?” I say. She laughs.

“I've been listening to them. Come on,” she says, walking into the woods. I'm freaked out, but Peter takes my hand and sends me soothing vibes so it's tamped down.

“Don't worry, Ava.” God, that's all I do nowadays. I have a lot of things to worry about.

Peter picks me up and Viktor takes Tex on his back so we can move faster than our clumsy human pace. I really hate how I hold Peter back. I wish I could run side by side with him, but that isn't going to happen right now. Making the decision about immortality isn't something to be taken lightly, and I'm not going to do it right now. Not until things are settled with Di.

A hissing sound reaches my ears as we make our way into a little clearing with a giant stump in the middle of it. I see Jamie with a girl about my height with brown hair, wearing a tank top and shorts and crouching in front of him, as if to attack.

She looks pissed.

“He's mine,” she says through gritted teeth. Her voice sounds even younger than she probably is.

“Not really, he's ours,” Tex says as she slides of Viktor's back. “We had him first.”

“Who are you?” she growls. Jamie meets my eyes for half a second before he looks away.

Tex smiles sweetly. “I'm Tex, and this is Ava, and we're Jamie's best friends. Who the hell are you?”

“Brooke.” Aha. So this is Brooke. What are the freaking chances that Jamie would run into a noctalis? Like a bazillion to one, that's what.

“I knew it!” Tex shrieks right in my ear. She really needs to learn to control her volume.

Jamie looks at us, terrified. “Tex, Ava. I can explain.” He doesn't ask us why we followed him, or how we knew where he was.

“What have you told him?” I ask Brooke.

She raises her chin and meets his eyes for a second. “He knows everything.”

The bottom drops out of my stomach. “Everything?”

“Brooke is...” Jamie starts to say. Like we don't know. We should have told him, but she got to him first.

“A noctalis,” Tex and I say at the same time. “So are they,” Tex says, jabbing her thumb at Peter, Viktor and Helena, collectively.

“What?” Only Jamie looks shocked. “They are?”

“You didn't notice?” Tex says.

He shakes his head. “I just thought they were... I don't know. Weird.”

I snort. Understatement, Jamie.

“Try not human. So I guess you know about everything then,” Tex says.

“Why didn't you tell me?” I say. His fists bunch up and I see a flash of anger, and something else. Betrayal. “I can't believe you wouldn't tell me, Ava. You, of all people.”

“I'm sorry. I just didn't know how to say it.” God, I'm going to cry again. Stupid tears.

“You didn't even try. And you, too?” He glares at Tex. For once she doesn't have a snappy response and has the sense to look guilty.

“It just kind of happened,” she says.

“So you told Tex, but not me. I can't believe you, Ava.” Everyone's attention is focused on the three humans.

“I'm sorry,” I say, tears spilling over my face. Jamie and I have never had a fight like this. Never. The clearing is silent, and no one wants to break it.

“Just tell me one thing,” Jamie says, “have you given him your blood?”

“Yes,” I say, because I'm not lying.

“He Claimed her. That one, too,” Brooke says. Thanks.

“Claimed? What does that mean?” Jamie says, looking around for an answer.

“It's complicated,” I say. “I don't have enough time to explain it now. We need to get back to school.”

“You can go, I'm staying here,” Jamie says, looking at Brooke. I see that face again. The one that looks like he's been bonked on the head. He's got it bad. Just what we need. Another immortal.

“Why don't you go back to school while Brooke and I have a little chat?”

“I'm not leaving her,” Jamie says, moving to stand in front of Brooke. As if he can protect her. That's what Jamie does. He's a protector.

“Don't worry, sweet boy. I'm not going to hurt her. I just want to get to know her. It's not often we find a parentless child.” Helena's tone is no longer that of a cute teen girl. She's the grown immortal, taking charge.

“I don't want to talk to you,” Brooke says. She's getting defensive and things are going to escalate.

“I'm staying with her.”

I glance at Tex, and we both realize that we owe him.

“We'll tell everyone that you went home sick.” He looks like he's going to say something, but then he doesn't. The cold look in his eyes is enough to break my heart.

“I'm sorry,” I say as Peter scoops me up in his arms for the run back to my car.

Jamie doesn't answer.

I cry all the way back to school.

Fifteen

Brooke

It was her. The girl I'd been looking for. Black hair, big green eyes. I knew the moment I saw her that this was the girl. The one I'd come to find. Jamie was right. Ivan was right. She was the kind of pretty that took a second to see. It wasn't obvious. She clung to the noctalis holding her, even after he set her down on her feet. Her voice was different than I thought, deeper than her small size suggested. This was the voice he'd fallen for. This was the girl I'd come to find.

Now that I'd found her, what was I going to do?

They had two other noctali with them, one who also had a Claimed, and one who didn't. I wasn't going to trust them farther than I could throw them.

His friends told me that he belonged to them. That he was theirs. Well, he was mine now. They didn't feel the way about him that I did. I could tell that once upon a time, he had loved this girl, Ava, but he had given up long ago. His heart was free and I had taken it. He was mine.

They finally backed down and left me with the other noctalis. Helena. The ancient one. I could smell that she had been immortal for a long time. It was an old smell of wisdom, time and dust.

“Well, you are young, aren't you?” she said.

“What do you want from me?”

“Nothing. I just want to get to know you.” Her voice was clear and soothing. I didn't want to be tricked by it. I didn't trust any of them.

“What brings you here? Did your mother bring you here? Or your father?” She wasn't talking about my human mother or father.

“No. I came alone.”

“How long have you been changed?”

“Two weeks.”

She fired questions at me, and I answered them with as few words as possible. Jamie stood by me, a warm pillar. He would not leave me. When Helena was done with me, she turned to Jamie.

“You have taken a dangerous path, dude.” He was surprised at her use of the modern slang. So was I.

“I'm not a moron.”

“I never said you were. Just that you seem awfully trusting of a person you've just met. Even if that person wasn't an immortal who wants your blood.”

“I've never touched him,” I said.

“I know,” Helena said with a smile. It looked so natural on her, but she'd had hundreds of years to practice. “But you are very young, and blood is still very new for you. I'm surprised you've managed to last this long. You must care for him.”

“I do,” I said without hesitation. Jamie must know that I felt for him. That I would do anything for him, even though I had only known him for such a short time. That didn’t matter. Time didn’t matter anymore, at least to me.

“I don't care about who she is. I care about her. The rest doesn't matter.”

“Are you prepared to give your life for that?”

“She's not going to hurt me.” He was so certain. It made me want to dance and laugh in the sunlight.

“Ah, youth,” Helena said, blinking a sigh. “Well, just in case, because your friends are worried about you, I'm just going to hang around for a little while.”

“You're going to babysit us?” I asked. I didn’t like the idea, but there was little I could do to stop her. I had not tried to attack another noctalis, but something told me that if we were in a fight, she would win. “Fine,” I said. “It's okay,” I said to Jamie.

“Are you sure?”

“I'm not going to hurt you, but even I can't stop wanting you that way. If something happened, I wouldn't be able to stop.”

“I think you would.” I knew he did, and that was the problem. He trusted me too much.

Sixteen

Peter

The situation with Jamie is unexpected, but I knew the moment we saw him that he was involved with a noctalis. It cannot be a coincidence. There is no reason that Brooke should end up in Sussex. There is something she isn’t telling us, and I hope Helena will be able to get it out of her.

I didn't tell Ava about my suspicions because she is so upset already.

“You're hiding something from me,” she says as we drive back to her house after school.

“It is nothing you need to worry about.”

“Nuh uh. You don't get to do that,” she says, shaking her head. “I have to share all my inner crap with you. I can't read your mind, but that's not an excuse to not tell me things.”

She is right, but I don't want to burden her further.

“I swear to God, Peter. Sometimes I want to strangle you.”

Her voice is angry, but really she is frustrated. I understand, but it is not going to make me tell her. “I am sorry.”

“No, you're not. You're being the big bad immortal who knows everything and I'm just the stupid human.” Her anger with me is not entirely directed at the fact that there is something I won't tell her. She's angry with herself and sad about her friend.

“I am sorry about Jamie,” I say, touching her arm. She flinches away from me. “Ava?”

“I just feel horrible, Peter.”

Tears gush from her eyes. She has only been able to hold them back for so long. I reach over to brush them away. She tries to push my hand away, but I don't let her.

“Pull the car over, Ava.” She obeys and I pull her into my lap, stroking her hair and letting her cry.

“I just can't believe how he looked at me. He's never looked at me like that. Never.” She rubs her face in my shirt. “I hate myself.”

“Shh, he'll forgive you. It is always darkest before the dawn,” I say, using her mother's quote. It elicits a laugh from her.

“You're almost as good as Mom at doing that.” She looks up at me with red-rimmed eyes. I wonder what it feels like to cry. I swipe my finger across her face and taste her tears.

“That would be totally gross if anyone else did that.” She sighs, putting her head against my chest again. “When is the drama going to be over? I mean, I can't see a day when it's just going to be the two of us. No crazy Mom, no worrying about Viktor turning Tex and now I have to worry about Jamie being a blood bank.” She covers her face with her hands and groans. “Why do these things happen?”

“I am sorry, Ava. If I could make it go away, I would.”

“I know.” We stay there for a few more moments, and then Viktor, with Texas on his back, and Helena appear.

“They really have to stop doing that. It's freaky,” Ava says, getting out of the car to meet them.

“We have to go, because we have to work, but do you want us to come over later tonight for a powwow? Maybe around nine?” Tex says.

“Sounds good. Just hang out in the backyard and we'll meet you,” Ava says.

“Works for me,” Tex says. “Onward, faithful steed!” she says with her fist raised. Viktor complies, vanishing into the trees. What a pair they make.

“You can take that worry off your face, Ava. He's fine,” Helena says.

“Who the hell is she? What is she doing here?” Ava says, barraging Helena with questions.

“Well, I'm not quite sure I got to that. She said she was changed and doesn't remember who it was. She said she woke up and didn't know where she was and started traveling, realizing that she needed blood. It all sounds very far-fetched. I am sure she is hiding something, but she's a very good liar, even though she's new. I think if I had more time with her, I'd be able to find out her real story.”

“How's Jamie?”

“Attached. She's got him under a spell, but that would have happened if she was human. Too bad she isn't.”

“Jamie? This is my Jamie you're talking about? I just can't believe it. He's never gotten attached to anyone, and he just met her. How is that possible?” Ava says.

“Love,” Helena says.

Ava scoffs in her head, but looks at me.

“Stranger things have happened,” I say, kissing her hand.

“This is batshit crazy.”

“Indeed.” I can't help but agree with her.

Helena blinks. “Well, I didn't know leaving India I'd encounter more drama than on one of those reality shows. I love those things.”

“Can you do me a favor?” Ava asks.

“Sure thing,” Helena says.

“Can you watch Jamie and make sure he's okay? That she's not going to hurt him? I don't think he'll take my calls and I have to know he's okay.”

“Of course. No problem. Although I won't be the only one standing outside of his window and watching.”

“I really didn't need to hear that,” Ava says. I try to push her worry away. Helena will take care of Jamie.

“He'll be safe.”

“Do you promise?”

“Sorry, babe. I don't do promises, but I give you my word that I won't let her harm him. She's new and fast, but I'm older and stronger,” she says, flexing her arm.

“What about Di?”

“Let's deal with one thing at a time, okay?” Helena says, giving me a look. I blink, telling her I understand. Ava doesn't catch it.

“See you later.” She waves and is gone.

“No more,” Ava groans, putting her hands over her eyes again. “Hey, I have something to bounce off you. My teachers are doing this thing where they're letting me off the hook for my exams because of Mom. I don't want special treatment, because people are already talking about me, but I don't think I can handle studying for finals and all this other crap.”

“You should do whatever you feel comfortable, but don't push yourself too far just so people won't talk about you. Who cares what they think?”

“Well, it's not just that. I don't know. I don't want to use what's happening as an excuse to be a slacker. There are other people who go through terrible things that don't get a pass. It just seems kind of like cheating.”

“It is not cheating to accept help.”

“It feels that way.” I take both of her hands, shooting pleasant feelings into her body.

“Whoa. That was nuts,” she says, her eyes wide. “It was like a shot of happy drugs. Do it again.” I comply and she giggles. “Okay, I think I need a shot of that every morning. It's better than caffeine.”

“Anything for you,” I say, kissing both of her hands. It is so easy for me to be happy around her. Why should I not share it? We smile at one another and she lifts herself up on her toes to give me a kiss.

Ava

It's actually a relief to walk into my house and deal with my human problems. Dad is in a better mood, and he and Mom are giggling on the couch at something.

“You're not doing anything that's going to scar me for life if I come in there, are you?”

“No, come in,” Mom calls, giggling.

Dad's tickling her mercilessly. I haven't seen him do that in a long time. I worry that it's not good for her, but then I figure what the hell. If you can't enjoy a good tickle fight, life's not worth living.

“What did you do today?” I say, flopping down on the recliner.

“Well, we went for a walk, Sam helped me in the garden and we were just about to start making dinner. Nothing too dramatic.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Good. How was school?” I want to just tell her it was fine, but I can't.

“Well, word has gotten out.” I don't really need to say more. They glance at each other. Dad leans his elbows on his knees and Mom clasps her hands together. Parental listening poses. I tell them about how all my teachers have decided to let me off the hook for finals.

“I mean, even if I do crappy the rest of the year, they're all going to give me A's. It doesn't seem fair, but I don't know what to do about it. I mean, I would really, really like to not have to study for finals.”

Mom and Dad do that silent conversation thing and it reminds me of Rasha and Kamir.

“I think you should take whatever they will give you. You have far more to deal with than anyone your age should. Take the help.”

“It feels like cheating. Other people have bad lives and they don't get free passes.”

“Life isn't fair, baby. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't take something when it's handed to you.”

“You didn't call the school and tell them, did you?”

“I didn't have to. I'm sure Mae or Liz told someone and it got out pretty fast.” The flowers are still all around the house, but they are starting to wilt, drooping in their plastic vases.

“Great.”

“Don't worry, Ava-Claire. It'll work out, okay? You just have to believe that.” She sounds like Peter.

“Okay.” It's easier than talking myself into circles again. “So you think I should do it?”

“Why not? Then I can help you with your projects. It'll be more fun. Remember the colonial costume?”

“How could I forget?” In fourth grade we did a unit on Colonial Living. Of course I did mine on the herbs and edible plants the colonists grew, but Mom also sewed me a costume complete with a muslin shirt and wool skirt. It was hot as hell, but I got an A.

“I am not wearing that stupid cap again.”

She fluffs my hair. “Oh come on, you looked adorable.” Tex had also laughed about that hat for weeks afterward.

“Is Peter coming over?”

“Don't think so. He's got finals to study for, too.”

“What a good boy,” Mom says.

“He is.” Too good sometimes.

***

I take a little nap before our meeting, but it seems like seconds later Peter is gently shaking my shoulder.

“They are here.”

“Okay, I'm up.” I slept curled on his chest, but somehow I twisted my back so I have to stretch to get my spine back in line.

“Give me a jolt,” I say, holding out my hands. He gives me a happy zap and I instantly feel better. “Dude, you could sell that stuff on the black market. Thanks.” I flex my hands and roll my way into a standing position. I hold out my arms and he scoops me up.

“Anytime.”

“Are the lights off downstairs?”

Peter looks out the window. “Yes.”

He walks out on the roof, wings out. Normally he runs down the edge of the overhang and takes to the air, but we're going straight down.

“Ready?” he says.

“More or less.”

He steps off the roof and for a second we hang in the air before falling to the ground. Everything inside me screams that this is wrong, that I'm going to die, but then there is a thump and we're on solid ground.

“You can open your eyes.” I do and we're good. Peter sets me down, but makes sure I'm steady before he starts walking.

I hear a weird sound that reminds me of a wounded bird.

“Nice try Tex,” I say.

“What? I thought we should have one of those signals. You know, to say that it's safe and all.”

“Safe from what?”

“You're no fun, Ava.”

Finally they come into view. Tex is cross-legged on the ground, Viktor is leaning against a tree and Helena is sitting in a tree on a branch that doesn't look like it is going to support her weight.

“A gavel! We should have a gavel,” Tex says, snapping her fingers. “I now call this meeting of humans and noctali to order.” She slams her hand on the ground. “First order of business: What to do about Jamie and his new friend.”

“If I may have the floor?” Helena says, dropping out of the tree without a sound. “I think we should let them be for now. If she thinks that we're suspicious, which she already does, then she's going to run. Or do something rash. She's young and impulsive, and if she panics, something could happen to him. So, I will watch them and see what else I can learn. My parents are also going to keep an eye on her and see what they can find out.”

Speaking of Rasha and Kamir... “Where are they?” I ask.

“Around,” she says. Oookkaaayyy.

“What have you learned so far?” I ask.

“That he is attached to her, and she is very protective of him. I know that she was trying to lure him with the story about being broken down on the side of the road. She's here for something, but I don't know what it is yet and she's not talking.”

“Oh my God,” I say, having an epiphany. “Di. She's here because of Di.” How has this not occurred to me immediately? It's so obvious.

“The bind we made said she could not send anyone to harm you.”

“Right, but we didn't stipulate harming people I love!” How could we have been so stupid? Di could hold my entire family hostage if she wants to. “What if Cal's watching us right now?” I look around frantically. Peter takes my face in his hands so I'll stop moving. “Oh, God,” I say, sinking to the ground. “She's going to kill him.”

“If she were going to kill him, she would have done it already.” I said the exact same thing to Peter when we first met.

“How can you be sure? Maybe this is all part of her evil plan,” I say.

“I don't think so,” Helena says. “I did a little fishing, and as far as I can tell, she doesn't know who Di is.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. I am good at spotting lies,” she says. I bet she is.

“You are absolutely sure?”

She holds up her hand. “I would promise if I could.”

“God, Ava. Freak out a little,” Tex says, leaning back on her elbows and squinting at the stars. “You are really getting paranoid.”

“I have to be!” I say, a little too loudly. Peter clamps his hand over my mouth and we all freeze, glancing back at the house to see if the lights will go on. They don't so we all relax.

“See? You need to take a chill pill.”

It is so easy for Tex. Like a game. She doesn’t have a crazy jealous immortal out to kill her. Then she'd be singing a different tune.

“So is the consensus that we do nothing until further information has been gathered?” Tex says.

“I think that is the wisest course of action. We will watch her and Jamie and act if we have to,” Helena says.

“Don't let her kill him or Claim him, please. That's all I'm asking,” I say.

“We will do our best,” Helena says. “And with that, I should get back to my guard duty. See you tomorrow.” She blows us a kiss and is off.

“So we're doing nothing. Again. That is not a course of action,” I say.

“We shouldn't scare her. New noctali can be volatile, much like newly Claimed humans,” Viktor says.

I give Tex a look.

“What? I'm not volatile.”

I roll my eyes. How quickly she forgets. “You punched Jamie when he said he didn't like Dirty Dancing.”

“You threw those boxes this afternoon, and there was that customer as well,” Viktor says, and Tex smacks him on the arm.

“You weren't supposed to say anything about that.”

“I am sorry.” He definitely isn't.

“Well, now you have to tell us,” I say, grateful for the non-serious turn of conversation.

Tex goes on to explain that there were some boxes that weren't cooperating with her, so she went on a rampage and chucked them all around the stock room, and when a customer was snippy with her, she lunged and almost throttled them.

“Luckily this guy was around, so I didn't do it. Mom would have had a litter of kittens. Speaking of moms, how is yours? I heard everyone talking about it today.”

“She's okay.”

“How are you dealing?”

“Well, it seems as if every teacher has decided to give me a pity pass on my finals,” I say, rolling my eyes.

“Shut up.”

“It's true.”

“Not fair.”

Is she kidding? “Uh, Tex?”

Her eyes fly wide as she realizes her mistake. “Crap, sorry. That was mean.” She comes over to give me a hug. “I'm not good at being sensitive.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Hey! I'm getting better.”

I glance at Peter, and he and Viktor are watching our interaction like we're interesting animals in a zoo.

“Hey, don't stare. It's rude,” Tex snaps.

“I was not staring. I was studying the fascinating behavior of the American teenage girl,” Viktor says.

“Haha.”

Tex lets me go and we sit down on the grass again. “I'm still worried about Jamie. He's never been this mad at me,” I say.

“He'll get over it,” Tex says. That doesn't help.

“Remember how I wanted to get his truck painted? I should do that.”

“Do you have the money for that?”

“Not really.”

“I do,” Viktor says.

“What?” Tex and I say at the same time.

“I sell things online. It is a steady stream of income for when I need it.”

“Why is this the first I'm hearing of it?” Tex says, getting up and standing right in his face.

“I didn't think you'd care about something so trivial.” That makes Tex back down.

“Well, I don't. Um, it just would have been good to know. I guess. Not that I would care about something like that. Like, at all.” Subtle, Tex. Real subtle.

“If you want some of it, you can have it,” he says.

Tex backpedals. “I'm not asking for your money. I was just curious.”

I turn my attention back to Viktor. “It's pretty expensive. Are you sure about that?” I have most of the money, but I could use a couple hundred more. I'm fishing to see how much he's got. I mean Peter's got crap in his trunk that would fetch thousands of dollars at auction. Still, it would be interesting to know just how much.

“You can have what you need. I don't have much use for it.”

“Wow, Viktor, thanks. I really appreciate that. It means a lot.”

“What a nice boy you are,” Tex says, smiling at him. She tips her face up as if she's asking for a kiss. He leans his face down, as if he's considering it. Wow, that was fast. I give Peter a look and he blinks. Meh, I guess it was bound to happen.

“Well, I need to get to bed,” I say, giving a fake yawn. I put my arms up and Peter takes me into his arms for the trip back through my window.

“See you tomorrow,” Tex says, not looking away from Viktor.

“Okay,” I say, shaking my head.

***

“Love is in the air,” I say when we're back in my room. “Has everyone taken love drugs?”

“It would appear that way.”

“So can you help me with Jamie? I really want to do this for him. Sort of as an apology.”

“You don't need to apologize, but yes, I will help you. Just tell me what I need to do.”

“I need you to take me to his house so we can commandeer it.”

“I can do that.”

“Cool.” I leave the window open, letting in the cool night air. “You're a lifesaver.”

“Not really.”

“Haha. You're funny tonight.”

“I try.”

“You win.”

“I do,” he says, kissing me.

Seventeen

Peter

The rest of the week is uneventful, which is a nice break for Ava. She has been so stressed with everything; it is good to give her some time to be human. Her teachers compile all her schoolwork for the rest of the year, and I start helping her with it.

Helena continues to watch Jamie and Brooke. Every night she comes to give us a report, but all they do is spend time together and talk. They are aware that Helena is following them, but seem unperturbed by it. Helena comes to see me again, and we agree that the Di plan will be on hold until the Brooke situation becomes clearer.

Ava and her father plan a trip to visit Claire's childhood home for that Sunday, and the appointment for Jamie's truck is on Saturday. Texas gets in on the plan, offering to distract Jamie. I am not sure how she means to go about that, but she assures us that she can do it.

“I'm really good at distractions. Trust me.”

“Okay, if you say so,” Ava says. She has tried to call him several times and talk to him at school, but he is still angry.

“I hope this will help,” she says on Friday night. I am having a date with her on the couch, watching a movie from the 1980s called Stand By Me. “This is Jamie's favorite movie. Even though he'd never admit it in public. He has to be all manly and say some action movie.”

“He'll come back to you.”

“I've been thinking,” she says, looking up at me through her lashes. “Could you talk to him? I've tried and it hasn't worked, but maybe if you did?”

“I will try for you.” I am not sure it will do any good, but if she wants me to talk to him, I will talk to him.

“Do you want to go tomorrow?”

“Well, I thought we could do it when we return his car. I hope he doesn't call the cops or anything. I hope Tex's distraction works. Whatever it is,” Ava says.

“It will probably be something spectacular. She doesn't do anything by halves,” I say.

“No, she doesn't.” I have rarely seen a human who went full steam ahead like her. I would not want to be her Claimed. It would require a lot of emotion absorbing.

“So you'll do it?”

“Of course.”

“Thanks, baby.” She kisses my cheek. She is more open with endearments when her parents are around. I like it when she calls me by them.

“You're welcome, baby.” I kiss her back.

“Hey now,” Claire says from the kitchen. For a human, she certainly has good intuition about when her daughter's lips are on mine.

“We're just kissing,” Ava calls. “Tell her, Peter.”

“We are kissing,” I say.

“Let me see your hands,” she says. Ava and I raise our hands in the air. “Okay, okay. I just have to do my mom thing.”

Ava laughs and settles against my chest, and we lose ourselves in the movie again.

The next morning Ava gets into her car to pick me up for a date. She tells her mother that we are hanging out with Jamie. Her aunt Jenny is coming over that evening for dinner, so Claire reminds her to be back by then and to invite me. The last time I met her aunt was interesting. I'm not sure if I am looking forward to it or not.

“I'm nervous,” she says when I get in the car at the end of the driveway.

“I know.” Her emotions sizzle, and I try to absorb as much as I can.

Her phone vibrates with a message from Texas.

“She's on her way to Jamie's house. She says we can get the truck in ten minutes. God, what is she up to?”

“We shall see.”

Ava parks her car in an abandoned driveway not far from Jamie's house. This is the poorer part of Sussex, with a lot of smaller and more run-down homes. I put her in my arms and we run through the woods to the back of the house, staying under cover of the trees. Jamie's truck is the only one in the driveway, and there is one person in the house, but there is one person and one noctalis in the front yard.

“Jamie! Get out here!” Texas yells.

“What the hell, Tex?” he says, coming out of the house.

“Brooke isn't here,” Ava whispers to me as we watch the action at the front of the house.

“You're coming with us. Right now,” Texas says.

“No way. Get out of here.”

Texas crosses her arms and stamps her foot. “I'm not taking no for an answer. Get in the damn car.” She points at it.

“Tex, go away.”

“I swear, if you don't get in this car right now, my Russian is going to throw you over his shoulder and put you in it.”

“Do not make me do that,” Viktor says.

“Fine! Fine.”

Jamie goes down the steps and gets in the car, and Texas kicks up the gravel in the driveway as she speeds away.

Ava stares at me, bewildered. “Really? That was her plan? Kidnapping him?”

“It worked,” I say. She considers for a moment.

“True.”

We walk to the truck, but the keys aren't in it.

“Hold on,” Ava says, going into the house. She comes back moments later with his keys. “I'm glad they were easy to find. God, that house gives me the shivers. Like the negative energy seeped into the walls or something.” She rubs her arms as if she's cold. I take her hand and give her some happy energy. “Thanks, babe.”

“Anything for my girl.”

“I like being your girl,” she says. “Would I still be your girl even if I wasn't human?”

“You'll always be mine, human or not.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“I like thinking I belong to you.”

It is not in a possessive way. I simply meant that she will always belong to me as the one girl, human or otherwise that is mine. That I can... No. I can’t think the word, or let myself feel it.

“Are you okay?”

“I am fine.”

Close. I am getting close to the flame that will end my existence. I will have to be careful.

Ava

Peter drives my car to the car place and I drive Jamie's truck. He takes me out to lunch and we walk around Brunswick while we wait. He holds my hand, lets me steal kisses and makes me laugh. We sit in the park and watch people play with their dogs.

“This is a nice human afternoon,” I say, my head on his shoulder and his arm around me.

“I like our human time.”

“Me, too. I wish it could be like this all the time,” I say without thinking.

“Do you wish I were human?”

“No! I didn't mean that. I love you and who you are. I just meant —” He silences me with a finger on my lips.

“I know. I wish that, too.”

I get periodic messages from Tex, and I ask her what they're doing with Jamie, but she won't tell me. I even try calling her, but she doesn't answer.

“I really wonder about that girl sometimes.”

The truck looks amazing when we go to pick it up. Instead of a white/gray, it's now a shiny black, complete with a wax coating that will resist rust. The sales guy was very persuasive and I had quite a bit of cash from Viktor. He shelled out hundreds like he was handing out candy. Tex's eyes went wide at the amount, but she kept her mouth shut. I have no doubt that plenty of those hundreds are going to be spent on buying her shiny things.

We meet back up at the high school because it's the best central location. I pull in with the truck and Peter comes in behind me with my car.

Tex and Viktor are by her car, and I see Jamie, arms crossed, looking surly. He also looks sad. Helena and Brooke are MIA, which surprises me because I thought Brooke would be attached to his hip. Something has gone on between those two, and I intend to get it out of him.

“What's this?” he says when I hop out of the truck.

“Your new/old truck. I had it painted. Surprise.” I gesture to the truck like a car model. I should have made a sign or had some confetti or something. I always forget these things if I don't write them down.

His mouth drops open. “You did what?”

“I know you've always wanted your truck painted. I wanted to do the interior, but I didn't have the funds.” Well, I could have the funds if I asked Viktor for them, but I didn't want to be a gold digger.

“Is that why Tex kidnapped me?”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“Why didn't you just ask to borrow the truck?” he says, coming closer and running his hand over the paint job. “That would have been easier than forcing me to go see a special screening of Dirty Dancing.”

“Tex, you did not.”

She puts her chin in the air. “I will not give up until he says that Patrick Swayze has talent and that nobody puts Baby in a corner.”

“I'm not going to say that if you make me see it a million times.” Jamie's still going over the paint job, and I can see the flicker of happiness on his face. “It's good. Where did you take it?”

“That place over in Brunswick. You know the one that's always on TV?”

“Wow,” he says, feeling the slickness of the coating. “Why did you do this?”

“I've wanted to do something for you for a while. To apologize for being such a crappy friend the past couple of months. I lied to you and hid things from you, and I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Jamie,” I say, walking over and putting my arms around him. I don't care if he hugs me back, but I need him to know that I love him and I need him in my life. I don't really care if everyone else sees me.

“I'm sorry too, Jamie. I knew Ava's secret and I didn't share it with you. But you knew about her mom and didn't share it with me. So I guess we're even, yes?”

Jamie finally returns my hug, kissing the top of my head and messing with my hair. “You went all out, Ave. Thank you.”

“You're not still mad at me, are you?”

He sighs. “I'd be a horrible friend if I said yes, so no. I am not mad. Just disappointed that you didn't feel like you could confide in me about something like that.”

“Forgive me, too!” Tex throws herself into our hug, and Jamie puts his arm around her.

“What am I going to do with you two?” We laugh and fall against the truck, Jamie struggling to keep both of us upright. “What do they think of this?” He means Viktor and Peter.

“They do what we tell them,” Tex says. “We wear the pants. Right, baby?”

“If you say so,” Viktor says. I just wink at Peter and he blinks back.

“Whipped. They're totally whipped,” Jamie says.

“We could say the same about you,” Tex says, jostling his shoulder.

“I guess,” Jamie says, blushing. I tickle him in the stomach and he wiggles away. “You're the best, Ave.”

No, I'm not, but he smiles and I almost believe him anyway.

***

“Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes!” Aj calls when I walk in the house. She dives at me and gives me a huge hug. Her blood overwhelms me, but I braced myself before I walked in, and I've got Peter's hand on my back.

“Hey, Aj. Can you let me breathe now?”

“Sure, kiddo. How are you?”

“Same old, same old.” I just have a psycho immortal after me, both of my best friends are involved with immortals, my mother has terminal cancer, and I have finals. Nothing major.

“Oh come on, school's almost out. What shenanigans are you going to get up to? I'm sure they'll involve this guy,” she says, pointing to Peter. “Hello, again, Peter.”

“Nice to see you, Jenny.” He keeps his hand on my back and Aj notices. I give her a look and she stops staring.

“I brought whoopie pies. Sorry, Peter. I forgot about the lactose-intolerant thing.”

“That is fine. I will watch Ava enjoy them.”

“Okay, then,” Aj says, giving him a weird look. I guess I'm so used to Peter saying strange things that I'm immune.

We have dinner, which Peter doesn't eat, and whoopie pies, which Peter doesn't eat. The last time Aj was over, I purposely stabbed myself with a knife because I felt so guilty. Peter keeps squeezing my hand and I know he's trying to tell me not to do it again.

“So I heard the cat is out of the bag,” Aj says, gesturing to the wilted flowers that are starting to make me sick with their sweet smell. I want to throw them from the roof and watch them smash on the ground, but I don't tell Mom that. They make me sick. Just a reminder of the fact that everyone who's anyone knows that my mother is going to die.

“It's a relief to finally tell everyone. Although, the phone has been ringing off the hook and we have more tuna casseroles than you can shake a stick at,” Mom says.

Aj throws up her hands, as if pleading to the gods. “Why do they make tuna? Does anyone like tuna casserole?”

“Well, I might like it if it didn't make me violently ill. I'm sick enough as it is,” Mom says, trying to make a joke, but it falls flat.

“So you're doing okay, though? Otherwise?”

“I'm feeling as well as can be expected. I'm going to start having appointments once a week to see how I'm doing and do tests and so forth.”

“So you're good, though?”

“It's not happening yet. We'll call you when it gets close.”

“I'll be here as soon as I can. I'd fly here if I could,” Aj says, taking Mom's hand.

“I know you would.” They hug and I want to cry. I look at Peter.

“Everyone wants wings,” I say so low that only he can hear me. He pulls me in for a hug.

“You can't always get what you want,” he whispers in my ear.

“What are you two whispering about over there?” Aj says, breaking our embrace.

“Nothing.”

“Don't you get all lovey-dovey on me, Ava. You're not that kind of girl.”

“What kind of girl am I?”

“You're my awesome niece who doesn't give boys the time of day and would rather read a book than get wasted.”

“Well...” I say. I was that girl once upon a time, but that was a long time ago. “People change, I guess.” I'm uncomfortable with everyone staring at me.

“I guess,” Aj says.

“Dessert?” Mom tries to get up to get the whoopie pies, but collapses back into her seat, clutching her head.

“Claire?! What's wrong?” Dad holds onto her as she groans. Aj gets up and goes to her other side.

“Claire, talk to me.”

“I'm fine,” she says, opening her eyes and looking at all of us. “I just had a little head rush. I'm fine. Nothing to fuss about. Everyone sit down. You're being ridiculous.”

“Call Dr. Chase,” Dad says, snapping his fingers at me. I look at Mom for confirmation.

“Sam, I'm fine. Just let me have some aspirin and a little rest. I have an appointment on Wednesday. There will be plenty of time for him to poke and prod me. Things like this are going to be normal near the end.” I hate how she says, 'the end.'

“Claire, I don't want you saying that it's nothing just so we'll leave you alone. It's not going to happen,” Dad says.

“Can everyone back up for a moment?” Mom's voice is sharp for the first time. “I just need some air.”

We move, but not very far. She braces her hands on the table and gets up.

“I just need some space, please. Thanks.” She goes to her bedroom, and we all stare at each other, unsure of what to do.

Dad moves to go after her, but Aj grabs his arm. “Let her have a few moments. It's hard being under the spotlight, Sam.”

Dad looks at her hand, holding his arm like he wants to wrench it away, but he sighs and sits down. “I just don't know what to do anymore. She keeps getting sicker and I don't know what to do. If I take her in, they'll just pump her full of drugs and then she'll refuse to take them. I don't want to fight with her, but I hate seeing her feel bad. What do I do, Jenny?”

“I don't know, Sam. There isn't a good answer.” She gives him a hug, which is nuts because they aren't normally affectionate with each other. I glance at Peter, but he never looks uncomfortable, and even if he is, he hides it. Although, he's lived through some crazy situations, so my family drama is probably tame in comparison.

“I think I should go,” Peter says, trying to excuse himself. Well played.

“I'll walk you out.”

“Sorry about this, Peter,” Dad says. My mouth drops open.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, Mr. Sullivan. Your family is going through a hard time, and I wish I could do something to make it better.”

“Thank you. That means a lot.” Dad and Peter have a moment of understanding, and then Peter nods and walks out of the dining room while I stand there, gaping like a fish.

“I'm going to walk him out,” I say.

Aj and Dad go back to talking about Mom as I walk Peter to the door so he can run home. Dad still hasn't noticed that he doesn't ever drive to my house. I guess he's got too much else on his mind.

“I love you.”

“Adore,” he says, kissing me softly before shutting the door.

I stand still, feeling him hop up on the roof and cross to my room. Apart from the fact that I need him near me, I love knowing that he's in my room waiting for me. It makes me feel safe.

I walk in on Dad and Aj having another moment.

“I don't know what to do,” Dad says, raking his hands through his hair. It reminds me of that breakdown he had in the kitchen a few weeks ago. I hadn't seen him have one since, but that doesn't mean he didn't have them in private.

“You know you can call me anytime. I have my phone with me always. There's nothing I can't abandon to help my big brother, okay?”

“Sure.”

“Dad? You don't have to do this alone,” I say. I've wanted to say that for a long time, but I was so angry for a while. Guess I've gotten past that stage of my grief.

“I'm sorry, Ava. I haven't been a very good dad lately.”

“It's okay,” I say, joining the hug. I've never hugged so much in one day.

“It's really not, but thank you for saying so. We need to do some more talking, you and I,” he says, looking down at me. Sometimes it hits me just how much I look like him. I'm my father's daughter, whether I want to admit it or not.

“Not tonight,” I say. I've got too much other crap going on. I've got to start working on my finals projects, which actually might end up being more time consuming than if I would have just done finals the normal way. C'est la vie.

“I agree. I'm going to go check in Claire. Sorry about your visit, Jen.”

“It's okay. Ava and I will have some girl time. Right?” She slings her arm around my shoulder.

“Right,” I say, wrinkling my nose at her. She leans forward and gently nips it.

“Okay.” He takes a deep breath, as if he's preparing to give a speech or go into battle or something. Maybe he is.

“So, why don't you tell me what's really going on between you and that boy,” Aj says as we settle on the couch.

“We're dating.”

“And you love him.”

“Yeah, I do.” We covered this ground already.

“You're not sleeping with him, are you?” Well, technically yes, but I am not having sex with him, which is what she's asking.

“I'm not having sex with him.”

“For real? You look like you have.”

“What does that mean?”

“You can tell when people have had sex. There's this, I don't know, glow that they have. It's like they have a secret they don't want to share. You two look like that.” We certainly have our secrets, but they're not about sex.

“Nope. Still have my V card.” Damn card.

“Good girl. Although, when I was your age, if I had a boyfriend like that? Damn, I would have jumped on it a long time ago.”

“Ew.”

“Hey, I'm not that old.”

“He is sexy,” I say. This cannot be denied.

“Where did you find him? I know you told me, but I've forgotten.”

“Party. There was a drink that got spilled, he made a witty remark, I made a dumb one, and the rest is history.”

“So is he the one?” Of course he is, but I don't know how Aj is going to take the extent of our relationship.

“I think he is.”

“Just be careful.”

“You're not going to tell me I'm too young, and there are lots of fish in the sea and all that?”

“Nope.”

“Why?”

“Because I'm your cool Aunt Jenny. When Sam got married and had you I promised myself I would be a cool aunt that would let you get into trouble. So here I am, being the cool aunt.”

“You are the cool aunt.”

“This is not news.”

“Shut up,” I say, shoving her arm. She grabs mine and twists it behind my back, not enough to hurt, but enough that I am incapacitated. I wiggle, but she's way too strong.

“Give?”

“Yeah.”

“Say it.” I sigh.

“Aj is the coolest aunt ever and I aspire to her awesomeness, which I can never achieve,” I say. It's the phrase she came up with a couple of years ago for when we have wrestling matches.

“That's right. Don't you forget it.” I swat her with my hand, but she ducks. “Too slow.” Not if I'm immortal, but I'm not thinking about that right now. “I think a need a whoopie pie. You want?”

“Sure,” I say, even though it's a tie between what I want more: the whoopie pie or her blood. Such is my life.

We consume two whoopie pies each while we watch trashy TV. Aj pulls hers apart, licking out the frosting before eating the cake parts. I keep one ear trained toward my parents’ room, and all I hear is them softly talking about what to do and whether she should start taking some of the painkillers and other drugs Dr. Chase has been pushing on her. I try to block it out, but I hear most of it anyway.

“You look like you're at a funeral,” Aj comments, and then winces. “Ouch, that was tasteless. Sorry about that.”

“It's okay. You don't have to walk on eggshells. I'm fully aware of what's going to happen.”

“I'm so sorry that you have to go through this.”

“I know.” Other people have said similar things, but from Aj I know it's sincere.

“I just wish I could do more. Sam won't let anyone help him.”

“That's Dad.”

She sighs. “He's going to have to suck it up, because I'm going to be here. I'm coming every weekend, just so you know. He told me about the road trip. I'm going to come up and stay with the house if you need anything. I thought I could clean and get rid of some of those casseroles and so forth. Is there anything you need done?”

“The sink's a little leaky. You don't know how to fix that, do you?” Aj knows about thumbscrews, but I'm not sure how much she knows about plumbing.

“Pft. I got this. I fix all kinds of things in my apartment complex because my landlord is useless.”

“Really? I didn't know that.” You learn something new every day.

“You make me a list and when you get back, it'll be done.” She glances at the clock. “I should get back. I still have some research to do before I go to bed.”

“What are you working on now?”

“Some branding irons. Nothing too fascinating. I'll keep you updated.”

“Okay. See you tomorrow.”

“Bye, kiddo. Tell your parents I said good-bye.”

“I will. Thanks, Aj.”

“Anytime.” We share another hug and then she leaves. I shut the door behind her and the house is calm and quiet.

I suddenly can't stand the flowers anymore. They're ugly and dying and they smell thick and disgusting. I haven't been able to breathe since they've been in the house, but no one else seems to be able to get rid of them. Might as well be me. I get a big black trash bag and shove every single damn flower in the whole house that I can find into the bag. I kind of want to smash the vases, but some of them are pretty, I guess. Most of them are ugly and plastic, so I toss those in the bag. It gets full fast. I tie the top with multiple knots and drag it outside to the shed. When I get back inside I open all the windows to air everything out, and then I stack the vases in the sink.

Feeling satisfied, I go upstairs to see my Peter.

“Feel better?” he says, his eyes glued to a textbook. I turn my head and see it's one of the books I got him on medieval life. It is. Aj would be so proud.

“Much,” I say, pulling my hair out of my ponytail. “I still can't figure out why people think dying flowers are a good way to say, 'I'm sorry you have terminal cancer.'”

“What would be a good way?”

I yank my hands through my hair, trying to work through the curls that have turned themselves into knots. “I don't know,” I say, grabbing my brush. “Will you help me with this?” Peter's very good at brushing hair. I don't have the patience. “I just want people to be sincere. They say they're sorry and they have that look in their eyes, but you know it's bull. It's like they get something out of it. I don't know what. People are pretty sick.”

“Humans are fascinated with death. When they see someone who is close, who has touched it, they are interested.”

“Well, it's stupid.” He slides the brush through my hair gently. I close my eyes and listen to the sound of the brush on my hair. “Something Aj said got me thinking.”

“About what?”

“That Mom's going to have a funeral, and be buried and have a headstone. What are we going to put on it? I mean, where is she going to be buried? I don't know any of those things. I feel ashamed I never thought of them.” How could I not have considered that? Ever?

“Your father will take care of it.”

“But I should want to be involved. I don't want him to have to do it all himself. That's not fair.”

“You are young, Ava. The reason they have not involved you is because they didn't want to.”

“That's not really fair to them.”

“It's not fair to you, either. To have to deal with those arrangements when you're losing your mother.”

Something about the way he says I'm so young irritates me. Does he see me that way? “I'm not a baby, Peter.”

“I know.”

I turn to face him. “Is that how you see me? As a child that needs to be protected?”

He puts the brush down and puts both hands on the side of my face. “I don't see you as a child, but it is my natural instinct to protect you. Part of this is because I adore you, and another part is because I have Claimed you.”

“So you don't see me as a little girl? Someone you're stuck with?”

“You are not a little girl, Ava.” His hands drift down my face, and his thumb brushes across my lips, then drifts down both sides of my neck. “I would not do this to a little girl,” he says, kissing my mouth slowly. I kiss him back. I certainly don't feel like a little girl.

“Sorry, that was childish,” I say when he pulls back and smiles. “I should know better.”

“You are human.”

“I guess.”

Eighteen

Brooke

“Hi Jamie,” I said when he opened the door to his room and found me sitting on his bed. His first reaction was shock, and then a smile spread across his face.

“What are you doing here?”

“I needed to see you.” Granted, I'd seen him all day. I'd hung out outside his school with Helena as my annoying shadow. She was out there now, ready to do whatever she was going to do.

It didn't make sense to me. Yes, I understood why Jamie's friends were reluctant to accept me as a part of his life, but I didn't see where Helena fit in. Why was she helping them? What was she getting out of it? It had been my experience that people, immortal or not, didn't do things unless they got something out of it.

She'd barely talked to me, but when she did, it was about stupid things like where I was from and things like that. She was fishing, clearly. She wanted to know what I was doing here and what I wanted with Jamie. The thing was, my original reason for coming here, to find Ava, didn't seem important anymore. I wasn't really sure why I had done it in the first place. I guessed I had lost my direction and was trying to find it again. I hadn't known this immortal life without Ivan, and I needed to find a piece of him, and that seemed like the only way. Now that I'd found Jamie, I had something else. Something warm and bright that I could look forward to. Someone who understood what it was like to be alone in the world.

“So you decided to just hang out in my room and wait for me?”

“I didn't think your family would take a strange girl walking through the house very well.”

Jamie snorted.

“Well, my dad probably wouldn't notice, and my sister and mom are at work. So you could have.” I'd heard his dad downstairs, grunting at a game of some sort. He seemed like a real winner. “So what do you want, Brooke?”

You.

“I don't want anything from you, Jamie.”

“Listen, this is a lot for me to take in. I know you've explained everything, but I still wake up in the middle of the night thinking this is a dream. It's just so hard to believe that immortals exist and no one has ever discovered them.”

“We don't want to be discovered. Besides, what do you think would happen if someone said they saw me jumping out of a tree?”

“No one would believe it. But what if they took a video?”

“They'd say that it was faked. And you'd be hard-pressed to find a noctalis that would let you live long enough to take a video. So there you have it.”

Jamie looked as if he wanted to sit, but didn’t know where. The room was only large enough to accommodate a bed, a small desk and a chair. I moved over on the bed, hoping he would sit next to me. He considered for a moment, putting his book bag over the back of his chair. I patted the space next to me.

“So this is where the magic happens?” I said.

“Not exactly. You're only the seventh girl I've ever had in here, and two of those were my mother and sister.”

“Lucky number seven,” I said.

He was nervous, his heart jumping around. I liked that I made him nervous. He didn't know it, but he almost made me nervous. If I could get nervous, he would be the one to make me so.

“What do you want, Brooke?” He wouldn't let it go.

“Honestly, Jamie? I want to spend time with you. I just feel so... lost.”

“What happened to the one who made you like this?”

“He's gone.”

“Gone?”

“He's not here anymore. He didn't die, because he was already dead, I guess. So I guess that makes me dead.”

“You don't look dead.” He touched my knee, not meeting my eyes.

“I don't feel dead,” I said, touching his shoulder and moving my hand across his chest, feeling his heartbeat through his shirt. It sped up, and I smiled.

“What brought you here? I know you're here for a reason, to find someone. You can tell me.” His voice was sweet and pleading, and I wanted to tell him, but I didn't know what he'd say.

“I was trying to find someone, but instead I found you. The other things don't matter anymore.”

“Are you sure?” He finally looked at my face, but removed his hand from my leg. My palm was still against his chest.

“Yeah. I am. I was looking for something I didn't need to find.”

“So what are you going to do now?”

“Stay. If you want me to.” I took my hand away, waiting for his reaction.

“I do,” he said, cupping one side of my face. “You're not the only one who's lost.” His thumb caressed my lip and he leaned closer, as if he was going to kiss me. “You're not going to kill me, are you?” His fear was palpable, but also his wish to kiss me. It was like I could feel it in his skin.

“I'm going to try not to.” I hoped I'd said the right thing. I couldn't lie to him about something like that.

“I can't picture you hurting anyone.”

“I have. I've killed a lot of people.” My lips moved against his finger, and I wanted to flick out my tongue and taste his skin. I knew just what it would taste like. Cinnamon and sweat and life.

“I don't want to think about that.”

“I don't, either.” I didn't want to think about anything but his lips on mine and his hands on my body. I wanted him everywhere. I wanted him to burn away the memories of all the bad things I'd done. This was the first time I was ashamed of all the things I'd done since I'd become immortal. I hadn't thought about the lives, about the people. They didn't matter. I'd justified it in my mind.

I thought back to that moment when I'd almost killed him. What if I had? I wouldn't be sitting on this bed with this boy who somehow was scared of me, but still wanted to kiss me.

He was leaning in when we heard the door slam downstairs. I'd heard the car coming, but I didn't want to ruin the moment with him.

Jamie sighed and pulled away.

“Here we go,” he said, getting up and going down the hall. His father had a beer in one hand and was pointing the other hand at Cassie. Her polo shirt did little to conceal the growing bump under it. She smelled like French fries and grease.

I stayed down the hall, but just out of sight.

“I'm not going to have you bumming in my house anymore.”

“Where am I supposed to go?”

“I don't care. How about you move in with that loser that you spread your legs for?”

“Dad,” Jamie said in a quiet, but stern voice.

“You shut your face. This has nothing to do with you.” Jamie had told me about his dad and his drinking. I was all too familiar with living with an alcoholic. When things were good, you were always terrified they were going to get bad again. His dad had been doing well lately, but there was always that chance.

“Give me the drink, Dad,” Jamie said, holding out his hand. “You were doing so well.” Cassie stood next to Jamie, a show of sibling solidarity. I wished I'd had a sibling to help me like that.

“You can't tell me what to do in my own damn house. I'm the man of this family, and if I want a beer, I'm going to have one.”

“What about Mom? What about us?”

He swayed a little on his feet. Any minute he was going to go down. “All you do is take from me. I give and give and give, and all you do is take. Well, I'm going to take mine.”

“Dad, we've been trying to help you. Just give it to me.” Jamie motioned for the beer again, but his dad pulled back and tried to go for a punch.

That was it for me. I dove from my spot and grabbed his arm, bending it back.

“Who the hell are you?” He was strong for a human, but I was immortal and he had been drinking. I could snap every bone in his body with two of my fingers and not think twice.

“I swear to God, if you lay a hand on anyone else, ever again, I will kill you. Do you understand?” He struggled, but there was no way he could get free. I made sure I turned him so he saw my face.

Cassie gasped and clutched onto Jamie, no doubt wondering where the hell I came from and worried that I was going to hurt him. Oh, I was going to do more than that.

“Let me go, little girl.”

I pulled him toward my face and hissed at him so he got the full effect of how unnatural I was. “I'm not a girl. I'm your worst nightmare. You will get your act together, because as much as you don't deserve it, your family loves you and you treat them like garbage. It stops today. You will stop drinking. You will get off your ass and you will be the husband and father you should be. Have I made myself clear?”

“Fuck you.”

“Good luck with that. I'm going to ask you one more time.” I twisted his arm until it was almost at the breaking point. Just a little bit farther...

“Brooke. Enough.”

“Not yet,” I said, enjoying the pain on his face. “I could kill you right now and not care at all. But that boy over there loves you, so I won't. Why don't you save some of your self-pity for him? So, are you going to get your sorry life together?”

He tried to get free, but I had him good. He growled in frustration. His alcoholic breath would have choked me if I still had to breathe.

“Fine, fine. Let go.”

I give him one more twist and then shove him to the floor. The beer drops from his hand, and I catch it before it hits the floor, spilling not a drop.

“I should smash this in your face, but I'm going to toss it down the drain, along with the rest of it. You will be alcohol-free for the rest of your life.” He cursed at me from the floor. “Well, I'm so sorry you feel that way.”

I marched to the kitchen, finding every single bottle of beer, vodka, rum, any kind of alcohol, and pouring them all down the drain. The house reeked of booze and I could still hear him groaning in the living room. Cassie tried to help him up, but he tried to shove her away.

“Lay a hand on her and yours will be gone,” I sang.

He huffed, but let her help him up and into the chair again.

“What did you do that for?” Jamie said, leaning in the doorway to the kitchen.

“Because someone had to. When it comes to drunks, sometimes the best way to get through to them is by force. I've had personal experience.”

Once my mother had been so wasted, she'd chucked a bottle at me and it had hit me in the face. I'd been cooking dinner, or else I would have ducked. The bottle bounced off my back, onto the carpet and somehow didn't break. I grabbed it, knocked her on the back of the head and told her never to do it again. She just stood there, stunned, and I saw the shock on her face. She'd cried, apologized and had gotten clean for a few days. It had been a glorious four days until she'd gone out with friends to a bar and after promising me she wouldn't drink, she came home wasted with a loser under her arm.

“I can't believe you did that.”

“He deserved it. I know he's done it before and he would do it again. As long as I'm here, he won't.”

“You can't make people change, Brooke. They have to want to.”

“True, but you can give them a push. A wake-up call.” I tipped in two bottles at once, watching the murky liquid flow down the drain.

“I should be pissed, but that was kind of awesome.”

“It was pretty badass. I've always wanted to do something like that and now I can.”

“You're really beautiful.”

I knew he was exactly one-and-a-half feet behind me. I knew that his hand was reaching for me. I dropped one of the bottles and spun to face him. Without hesitating, I crushed my mouth to his, yanking him down with probably a little too much force. He tried to say 'ow' but it was lost in our kiss.

It was more of an attack than a kiss. My lips tried to devour his. It was like I was trying to swallow him whole. I wanted to bite his lips and suck his blood. I wanted to feel his hot skin against mine, right there in the kitchen.

“Brooke,” Jamie said when our lips parted for a second. His voice made me realize that his breathing was labored, and I'd probably been suffocating him. I couldn't have that.

“Sorry. I've wanted to do that ever since you pulled your truck over to the side of the road.”

His chest heaved and he couldn't stop staring at my lips. “Me, too.”

He smiled and kissed me again, only slow, soft and delicate. It was hard not to try and devour him, but I held back.

“I want you to stay,” he said.

“I want to stay.”

Nineteen

Peter

Ava gets up early the next day to prepare for their road trip. Claire grew up several hours east of Sussex in a town called Machias, and driving to the house will take nearly the whole day.

“I will run alongside the road. I will be with you the whole time.”

“I know, I know,” she says, wrapping her hair into a bun.

The day is going to be unusually hot, so she's wearing cropped pants and a t-shirt that shows off her arms. I want to lick every inch of her exposed skin.

“You're doing that thing where you stare at me and then you think about things. You know I can feel what you're thinking.”

I do sometimes forget that she gets emotions from me as much as I get them from her. I am not used to having emotions, let alone sharing them with anyone.

“Now you're looking at me like I'm a piece of earth-shattering cheesecake you want very much to devour.”

The truth is not that far from it. I want to devour her. I want to take her and taste every part of her, savoring every inch. This is not the right time.

“You should get ready,” I say so she will stop standing in front of me and making me want her.

“Yeah, okay.”

She goes to the bathroom and I shut my eyes. I am consumed by her. Sometimes it overwhelms me.

Ava

“Surprise!” Dad and I both yell as he leads her out to the car, hands over her eyes.

“Oh, wow, it's, um, the car.” She looks confused for a moment, looking back and forth from me to Dad and pretending she knows what's going on.

“Mom, it's not the car. We're going on a road trip!” I say, throwing my hands in the air.

“Really? Where are we going?”

“What would be the fun in that if you knew?” She's going to figure it out as soon as we get on the highway and start toward Machais, but at least we can keep the mystery for a little while.

“Oh come on,” she says, pouting at Dad. I glare at him. Do not give in to the pout, Dad.

“No way, Taylor. I hardly ever get to surprise you, so I'm going to make this one count.” Because it might be one of the last, he doesn't say.

Dad and I pack the car with typical road trip stuff. I made a picnic lunch, snacks, and I bring jackets and all the things we could need in an emergency. Dad double-checks that we have jumper cables, a tire jack and anything else that we might need if we have car issues. I think we are prepared for everything that could go wrong. As soon as I think that, I freak out a little. I feel like I need to knock on wood or something.

“You sure you didn't forget the kitchen sink?” Mom says as we shove her in the car among all the other crap.

“Oh no! I forgot the sink,” I say, clutching my hands together. She laughs and puts on her seatbelt.

“Where's Peter today? Why didn't you invite him to come with us?” She's really asking if I'm going to freak out and get sick like the last time he left. God, I would rather die than go through that again.

“Oh, he's busy. Family stuff. But he's never far from my mind,” I say, hoping she gets the hint. She nods, as if she understands.

“Let's get this show on the road,” Dad says. We all strap in and he turns on the radio.

“Oh!” I say, remembering. “I made a road trip mix.” I fiddle in my purse and find the clear CD case, handing it to Mom.

“What's on it?”

“Road trip songs,” I say. “Put it in.”

She does and “Ticket To Ride” by The Beatles blasts through the radio. Mom claps and starts singing along as Dad drives up the road. Aj isn't here yet, but I have the sneaking suspicion Dad is going to call her when we're on our way. I think they have something planned.

“I meant to ask you, did you throw all those flowers away?” Mom says ten minutes later.

“Yeah. I did. I couldn't stand them anymore.”

“Thank you. I couldn't stand them either, but I couldn't throw them away for some reason. They were just too much.”

“Just a bit,” I say as the CD clicks over to another song.

“So where are we going?” Mom says, batting her eyes at Dad.

“No way. I want to see the surprise on your face. Nothing is going to stop me from getting that.” He takes her hand and kisses it.

I settle back against the cooler and close my eyes. Peter is close, so close. I glance out the window, but I can't see him. He's running too fast. We stop at 11:30 so everyone can get out of the car, stretch and pee.

“I still don't know where we're going,” Mom says, putting her arms over her head and arching her back. She's so thin. I wish she would eat more, but I know food makes her feel sick. She could take drugs that would help her eat more, but they have other side effects that she doesn't want to deal with. It's a lose-lose situation.

We get back in the car and keep going. It takes another hour, but we finally pass the sign that says we're in Machias.

“Oh, Sam,” Mom whispers. She knows now. “Thank you. Thank you both.” She reaches her hand to the backseat and I grip it. “I can't believe this,” she whispers.

I've never been to the house, but I've seen it in pictures enough times. We had a photograph of her sitting on the porch when she was four years old hanging in our living room. I grew up with that picture and I always wanted to see the house.

“Turn left,” Mom says as we drive through downtown. I'm sure Dad downloaded directions, but he doesn't use them. Mom's way better than the internet. I glance at the cooler I'm slumped on and wish it could magically turn into Peter.

“Here,” Mom says, pointing to a mailbox with a thirty-eight on it. “I wish we could go see it, but I'm sure someone owns it.”

“Why don't we see?” Dad says, turning off the car and getting out.

Mom and I stay in the car. “What is he doing?”

“Don't know.” I actually don't know about this part. When we discussed it, he said we'd just drive by the house so she could see it from the car. He didn't say anything about getting out. God, we're probably going to get arrested for trespassing. I get out of the car to stop Dad from waltzing onto some stranger's lawn, but I stop when I see the FOR SALE sign. Also, if anyone wants to get us with a shotgun, Peter can block the bullets. My bulletproof boyfriend.

“Huh. Looks like we can go and see it,” she says. Mom and I walk arm in arm up the driveway. Her breaths are shaky, and I can tell she's on the verge of tears. I finally notice another car in the driveway. A BMW. Dad walks toward it and a woman in a pinstripe jacket with matching pencil skirt gets out, brushing nonexistent wrinkles from her flawless clothes.

“Mr. Sullivan?”

“Yes, you must be Gretchen.” He shakes the woman's hand.

What-the-what is going on? I glance at Mom and she raises her eyebrows. I see movement over my shoulder and I can feel Peter lurking in the bushes. Kind of like a stalker. I prefer to think of him as highly involved.

“This is my wife, Claire, and my daughter, Ava.” Gretchen sticks her hand out, and Mom and I both shake it. Still not sure what she's doing here.

“Well, are you ready to see the house?” she says, rifling through a leather briefcase, pulling out some papers and giving us her best smile. It's way too fake.

“Yes, we are very interested in seeing the house,” Dad says in a loud voice, putting his arm around Mom.

Gretchen looks at him weird but slides a smile back onto her face. The real estate agent smile. Clearly, that's what she is. I can connect the dots here. Dad called the real estate agency and asked about the house. The only way we're getting in to see it with someone who has keys is to pretend that we're interested in buying it. Well played, Dad. Well played indeed. I didn't know he had something like that in him. It's a scheme worthy of Tex.

“Yes, I saw the pictures online and it's perfect. This is such a good neighborhood, too,” Mom adds, playing along. I feel the need to add something, but settle for looking like a surly teenager. No normal teenage girl wants to look at a house with her lame parents. Ugh, how awful.

“It is a good neighborhood,” Gretchen says, touching on one of the good points of the house. I finally take a good look at it.

“It's just like I remember,” Mom whispers to no one in particular. Dad takes her hand and winks at both of us. Smooth.

“What did you say?” Gretchen asks, shuffling through her papers.

“I said it's just like the pictures we saw online,” Mom says as we walk up the front porch.

The house is older, and a little run-down. The white paint is peeling in spots, and the grass hasn't been mowed in a while. Other than that, it's exactly what I thought it would be.

A white farmhouse, with a porch that wraps around the front and left side, a peaked roof and a small shed that might have held a tractor in the days when a farmer lived here. I even see a tree with a tire swing across the yard.

The steps creak and bend under our feet. Gretchen goes into full selling mode, drawing our attention away from the peeling wallpaper and uneven floor to the high ceilings and amazing light that somehow flows from room to room, making it feel like it's bathed in sunlight.

Mom's eyes go wide and she smiles, going from room to room, brushing her fingers on the wallpaper, the windowsills.

While Gretchen blathers on, Mom whispers to me some of her memories. Like the corner where she used to read, or the place where she fell and got the scar under her chin. In the kitchen she tells me about my grandmother making pies and Christmas, and I can almost smell the delicious cooking. I try to imagine what it was like. The wooden furniture, lots of flowers, lots of painted teacups on the wall.

Gretchen takes us upstairs, and Mom clutches my arm when we go into her old room. It looks almost exactly like mine, only it's tucked into the eaves, so one of the walls slants until it meets the floor.

“That's where the bed was. My desk was over there.” Mom recreates the room for me, and I can almost see it.

“So, what do you think?” Gretchen says when we get to the other bedroom. She's been selling this house like her life depends on it, poor thing.

“It's just what we're looking for. Do you mind giving us a little time?”

“Absolutely!” she chirps like a bird. Anything to make us happy. God, if we ask her to make us pancakes, she probably would find a frying pan.

She clomps back down the stairs in her ridiculous heels.

“Ava, you want to come see the backyard with me?” Dad says, nodding to the stairs. He wants to give her some time alone. Message received.

“Sure. You okay?” I ask Mom.

She's staring out the window at memories I can't touch.

“Yes, I'm fine. I'll be right down.”

I follow Dad down the stairs. Gretchen's out by her car talking vigorously on her cell phone.

“Let's sneak around the back,” Dad says in my ear. I nod and we tiptoe out the back by the kitchen. Luckily, there is a back door with steps that lead down into the grass. I take the bottom step and Dad takes the top.

“I wish I could buy it for her. I know that seems silly, but I'd love for her to own this house.”

“I know. How much are they asking?”

“Way too much in this economy. We're going to be strapped enough as it is.” He wipes his face with his hands.

“You know you can talk to me about that stuff. I know I'm young and your daughter and you want to protect me and all, but I don't want you to have to do this alone.” He looks up from his hands. He stares at me for a couple seconds before he says anything. “You are growing up so fast.” I move backward up the steps until I'm next to him. He puts his arm around me and I lay my head on his shoulder. “Thank you. Sometimes I forget you're not a child anymore. You're almost a woman.” Almost. Not quite.

“What are you doing out here?” Mom's voice drifts out of the open doorway. I move down a step so she can take my place next to Dad. “You two are the best family ever. How did I get so lucky?” She kisses Dad and throws her arms around my neck. The grass in the overgrown backyard sways in the breeze and we stay like that for a few minutes.

“Come on, I want to go see if the tire swing is still good.” Mom steps around me.

“Claire, are you sure? The tree's probably dead and rotting.” Mom skips head, and if I squint, I can see her as a little girl.

I dash behind her, racing to the swing. It hangs from a huge oak tree that has stood here for a very long time.

“See? It's still alive.” The rope on the tire is gray, but I give it a test and it seems okay. I hop on and do a few practice swings.

“Be careful,” Dad says, standing close to us as if he's going to stop the swing from breaking. Honestly, if this thing is going to break, first, I'm not going that far. Second, Peter will swoop in if my life was really in danger. He'd have some major explaining to do, but at least I'd be safe. Peter will never let anything happen to me. Well, he'll never let me be injured by a rogue tire swing.

“I used to come out here and Daddy would push me.” Mom never talks about her father. He died when she was ten, so she doesn't remember much about him. Her mother never remarried, so it was just the two of them for the rest of her life.

“I can't believe it's still here,” she says, pushing the swing and staring at the house.

“I wanted to hand you the keys, but it's not really in the budget right now.”

“Sam, don't be silly. What would I do with a house? We have a house.”

He shrugs and leans against the tree. “I know. I still thought about it.”

“It's enough just seeing it one last time. This is all I need.” The tire spins drunkenly and she pushes me harder. I wish Peter was here so he could twist the rope around and then let it go so I could spin into oblivion. I could use a little oblivion.

“I wish you could have known her better, Ava-Claire. You're so much like her.”

“Did she have caustic wit as well?”

“Actually, yes.”

I don't remember much about my grandmother. Most of the memories are of her in a nursing home. She never remembered my name.

We stay in the backyard for as long as we can without Gretchen getting suspicious. We take one last walk through the house, and I get out my phone to take some pictures when Gretchen's back is turned.

For someone who's supposed to be observant, she's really not. Nearly anyone else would be able to see that we aren’t going to buy the house, but she starts talking to Dad about paperwork, loan rates and other bank-related things. Little does she know, she's talking to a loan officer. He pretends to be interested, but when push comes to shove, he says we have to think about it.

“Mom,” I say, as we're walking down the steps to leave, “sit down.” She does, exactly in the same spot as where she was in the picture we have in our house. I sit next to her and Dad takes pictures of the two of us.

“You look just like your mother,” Gretchen says. What an ass kisser, I think.

“She does, doesn't she?” Mom says, winking at me. “My girl.”

Twenty

Brooke

I spent every moment I could with Jamie. We hung out in his room, talked, kissed, and watched movies on his computer. We skipped rocks and I flew around him with my wings. I wanted him and I wanted his blood. Sometimes it was hard to decide what I wanted more. It wasn't like when I was with Ivan. That had been fast, hard and relentless. Jamie was soft, warm and sweet. He melted slowly on my tongue and left an aftertaste that I never wanted to forget.

Sunday afternoon we were lying on the giant stump in the middle of our little clearing. I'd come to think of it as our place. I was on my stomach and he was tracing shapes on my back.

“I still can't get over the fact that you don't have fangs.”

“Why?”

“Because you're not really a vampire without them.”

“I've told you already, that's a myth.”

“Well, for someone who is obsessed with blood, you haven't tied me to a tree and taken mine.”

“I'd want to tie you to a tree for different reasons.” I turned my face to see his reaction.

He grinned. “Well, you could. I just don't know why you don't. Why I'm so special?”

“You get me, Jamie. I don't know how, but we're the same. Even though you're human and I'm not.” He turned over and scooted off the stump.

“I should get home. Cassie's working on the baby's room today and I said I'd help.”

That was the one thing about Jamie that separated him from me, in addition to the human, nonhuman thing. His heart was made of pure gold. Mine wasn’t.

He started walking with me beside him. He bumped me with his hip, trying to throw me off balance. I laughed and bumped him back, causing him to take a dive into the ground. Sometimes I forget how strong I was.

“Ouch,” he said, picking himself up. I gave him a hand, but stopped when I saw that a branch had ripped through his palm and blood was dripping on the ground.

Precious, precious blood. Jamie's blood.

The smell hit me, and the next thing I knew, I grabbed his hand and stuck it in my mouth.

“Ow, Brooke, let go.” I sunk my teeth into his flesh, biting until I almost hit bone. I sucked hard, the blood filling my mouth and streaming down my throat, hot and wet and wonderful. I sucked harder, and something started hitting me in the head. A voice said my name over and over.

“Brooke! You have to stop. Look at me!” Something punched the side of my head and I went to glare at whatever it was that was interrupting my enjoyment of the best blood I'd ever had.

It was Jamie. The moment I met his blue eyes I choked, my jaw letting go of his hand.

“Oh, shit. Oh shitshitshit.” I stepped away from him, wiping the blood that dripped down my chin. I didn't want to waste it, but I couldn't have it. I wiped the rest of it on a wide leaf.

“Oh my God,” Jamie said, looking at his hand. It was pretty mangled, with a clear imprint of my teeth.

“I'm so sorry.”

“No, it was my fault,” he said in a shaky voice. He had lost enough blood that he was probably lightheaded. He stared at his hand as if it didn't belong to him. I saw him start to go over, and I caught him before he fell again.

He didn't regain consciousness until we were in the truck. I searched his glove box and found a small first aid kit. As fast and as gently as I could, I bandaged his arm, holding it above his head to stop the bleeding.

“Brooke?” His voice was weak and his eyelids fluttered.

“It's okay. It'll be okay.”

Twenty-One

Peter

I watch Ava and her family go through the house. She asked me if I think she is a burden. What she sees as a burden, I see as a gift. I am allowed to share in her most intimate moments. I adore watching her throw her head back in laughter when her mother pushes her on the swing. I adore seeing her take the house in, committing it to her memory and taking pictures when she thinks no one is watching. I adore her most when she thinks no one is watching. I run around the property, so as to give her some privacy. I do owe her that.

The land is newer here; it has been logged and the trees are younger. Not as closely packed. I climb a few, looking out over the land. I can nearly see Canada. I've always wanted to take Ava to Canada. Maybe in a few nights I can take her.

Ava's laugh pulls me back to the ground, and I drop from the tree.

We will have to deal with Brooke soon, and Di. Ava is impatient, but I am more cautious. Whatever we do cannot be undone. The key to Di's undoing is Helena. The source of Di's pain, of her anger, of all that she has done lies with Helena and the love that Di thought she lost.

Helena looks, acts and talks like a human girl, but she is not. Her years are many, and the things that she knows could fill hundreds upon hundreds of volumes. My years are only a drop in a bucket in comparison.

I am surprised Di has not used Cal to contact me. To talk some sense into me, as she sees it. I need to unravel more of Di's story, and to do that I need to talk to Helena, perhaps while Ava is asleep again. Humans waste so much time in sleep. Although, they do not have to find things to fill that time. Many times I have wished I could close my eyes and lose myself to exhaustion with her. So we could be the same, even in sleep.

Ava and her family get back in the car. She glances to the woods, looking for me. I move so she can see me.

“I love you,” she says, making a heart with her hands before getting in the car.

I feel so strongly about her, it is hard not to give in to it. To lose myself in that overwhelming feeling of her and only her.

It is an interesting conundrum. The one moment I want is the one that will end me. You can't always get what you want.

Ava

Mom falls asleep on the ride home. Dad turns down the road trip mix and puts his hand on Mom's arm.

“Do you think she liked it?”

“I don't think she would have been happier than if you bought it for her. How did you plan that out? It was very sneaky.”

“Well, back in the day I used to plan surprises all the time for her. Your mother is not an easy person to surprise, as you well know.” Yes, I do. She has eyes in the back of her head.

“You should do it more. She loves surprises.”

“I know. I've got a few more in the works.”

“You gonna tell me?”

“No way.”

“What, because I can't keep a secret?” Oh, if only he knew.

“No, because I know she'd read it on your face.” God, can everyone read my face? “I'm not as good at it as she is.”

“Neither am I.” I pull out a blanket I brought in case it got cold and spread it on top of the cooler. It's not as nice as a Peter chest, but it's more comfortable than leaning against the car window.

I close my eyes as the trees and cars flash by and wish I had my Peter with me.

***

I'm nearly late for school on Monday because I don't really sleep on Sunday night. Every time I close my eyes my mind starts running through a million thoughts about Jamie, Tex and Mom, and Brooke and Di, and all the crap I'm in. And Peter. Always Peter.

His silent chest has been my pillow for the last few weeks. I've stopped asking him if he'll stay in my bed with me, he just assumes, which makes me so happy I don't want to sleep. As he reads, I listen to the scrape of the pages as he turns them. Hypnotic and soothing, but I can't get my mind to shut off.

“Peter?”

“Yes, Ava.”

I peer up at him and he meets my eyes. “Why can't we just run away?”

“Do you want to?”

“Yes and no. I want to run away from all the crap with Di and all that. Sometimes I want to run away from all the stuff happening with Mom. Does that make me a horrible person?”

“No. It makes you human.”

“I hate being human sometimes.”

“I hate being a noctalis most of the time.”

“Really? You hate it?”

“I hate most of it. Still, if I were not immortal I would not have met you. I do not regret that.”

“Well thank goodness.”

“I only meant that I wish things were different. That maybe you could have lived in my time, or I in yours.” I thought of the same thing more times than I could count.

“Well, you're an angel vampire. You should get on that time machine, chop chop,” I say, poking his chest.

“I would make a time machine for you, my Ava.”

“Where should we go? I'm thinking Victorian times. I really, really want to carry a lacy parasol and see you wearing one of those sexy long coats and a top hat. Yum. Although, I'm not so cool with the corsets.”

“You wouldn't need one. Your figure is perfect the way it is. His hand strokes back and forth across my stomach, and there is a fluttering deep in my soul.

“Ah,” he says, probably feeling it. Then I get another flutter, but it's darker, more insistent. It's from him.

“You should get some sleep.” The last thing on my mind is sleep.

“Then you shouldn't touch me like that.”

“Ava,” he says, staring into my eyes, into the depths of my soul. “I don't think I can stay next to you right now.” Without another word he gets up so fast that my head bangs against the pillow as he removes himself from under me.

I run to the window, but he's on the roof. I look up to see him peering down at me.

“It's too hard, Ava. To be near you and not feel it.”

“That's what you wanted, originally.”

“I know. But now that there is a chance I could have it, even if it's wrong, I want it. I want it more than anything I've ever wanted. I want you more than anything.” His desire comes to me in dark ripples, slowly flowing through my body. It is warm, slow and torturous. There is something else there, something deeper. Something that feels a lot like love.

“Goodnight, Peter.” I don't tell him that I love him. I don't say anything for fear it will trigger something and I'll lose him. I can't lose him. The thought of losing Peter makes me feel like I'll never breathe again. It's different than the pain I feel when I think of losing my mother. That is more of an ache, dull and long-lasting. Losing Peter would be bright, sharp and cataclysmic. I would not survive losing them both.

I think back to the nightmares I have, where they both burst into flames. I can't let it come true.

***

Sleeping without Peter is hard. I toss and turn, and my bed feels cold and huge. I open my mouth to call him down from the roof, but I can't let the threat of losing him out of my mind. I can get through a damn night. I slept for seventeen years without him and I can do it again.

In the morning I get up and he's still on the roof. I shower and go downstairs alone. Mom and Dad are yawning in the kitchen, exhausted from the day before. The house is spotless, thanks to Aj. Mom didn't say anything when we walked into the cleanest house I'd ever seen last night. Either Aj is the best cleaner ever, or she hired a crew.

“It looks like the cleaning fairy has been here,” Mom says, wiping her finger across the spotless kitchen counter.

“Imagine that,” Dad says. “I hope she didn't leave any fairy dust behind.”

“Oh I don't know about that. A little fairy dust never hurt anyone,” Mom says.

I make breakfast, trying not to mess up the immaculate kitchen. I wonder how long it will last.

Peter isn't waiting in my car, but instead twenty feet away by the trees. I'm afraid to even make eye contact with him, so I just pretend he isn't there. It's one of the hardest things I've ever done. It's like trying not to close your eyes when you're staring at the sun. I arrive at school and he still doesn't approach me. Viktor and Tex are canoodling by her car, complete with hair flipping and giggly laughter. Viktor's face is animated, and he is gesturing with his hands. From far away they just look like a normal couple. He says something and she throws her head back, gripping onto his arm.

Why can't I do that? I glance around for Peter, but he's nowhere to be found. He's close, but hiding.

“Where's your surly shadow?” Tex says as I walk up to them.

“I don't want to talk about it.”

“Trouble in paradise?”

“Tex,” Viktor says.

“Right, sensitive. Sorry. Viktor's trying to help me be sensitive.”

“Thank you,” I say to Viktor.

“Hello? Standing right here.” She waves her hands in front of my face. “So, let's try again. What happened?”

“I don't want to talk about it.” I wrap my arms around my chest because it's really starting to hurt. Not like the times when he leaves. This is a different kind of hurt. Like a piece of me is missing and has left a hole I need to cover up.

“I'm sorry, honey.” Tex hugs me, but I wish it was more. I wish someone would wave a magic wand and make all my dreams come true. Stupid fairies. They can clean my kitchen, but they can’t take my bad dreams away.

“Did you do anything fun this weekend?” she says. I took my dying mother to check off an item on her bucket list, how about you? I don’t want to talk about it. It isn't that I don't want to tell her, but I'm not sure she'll really understand. Although, it would be fun to laugh about Real Estate Gretchen with Tex.

“Fine. Nothing earth-shattering.”

“Oookaaayyy,” she says, glancing at Viktor.

“I'll see you later,” I say, spotting Jamie. I can't deal with Tex anymore. “Jamie, wait up.” I jog up to him. Peter follows in the shadows.

“Where's your other half?” he says, looking behind me for Peter, one of his hands in his pockets.

“I don't really want to talk about it. Where's yours?” Brooke and Helena must be around here somewhere.

“Around.” There's something sad about the way he says it. Mere days before he was so taken with her that he wasn’t able to keep a smile off his face. Something has happened.

“I'm surprised she's letting you talk to me after that reception she gave us.” With the hissing and everything.

“That's not fair, Ave.” I want to open my mouth and tell him all the mistakes he's making, but I can't. Hypocrite, remember? “She's a part of my life now.” His mouth sets in a stubborn line.

“How long have you known her?”

“Less than two weeks, but that doesn't matter. The second I saw her on the side of the road, I would have done anything for her. She's it for me.” He rolls his shoulders back like he does before a game. I've seen him do it a million-billion times. He's ready to fight for her.

I try an indirect approach. “So the immortal bloodsucking thing doesn't bother you?”

He sticks his other hand in his pocket and hunches his shoulders. Oh, something is definitely up.

“Doesn't seem to bother you,” he says. Good point.

“It's weird what you can get used to when you love someone.”

Jamie makes a sound of surprise. How can he not know?

“You love him?”

“I do.” How has he not seen it before? I told him. Maybe it's different now that he knows everything. Now that he knows what loving Peter means.

“But you're going to tell me that I should let her go.” I wish I could. I wish I could tell him what to do, but I can't. “She makes me forget about everything. About Dad and Cassie, and all the shit I have to deal with. I don't have to pretend with her.”

I've never heard Jamie talk about anyone this way. He's had dates and flirted with girls, but never anything serious. Until now. A little pang of guilt goes through me. Maybe if I'd been there for him, he wouldn't have had to look somewhere else for someone who understands and listens to him. Maybe if... But it isn’t meant to be.

“She makes you happy,” I say. It's not a question.

“Yes. She's it for me. I'd be with her no matter what.” I glance behind me at Peter. I know he can hear everything. I feel his ache for me, and it magnifies my own. Jamie catches me looking mournfully at Peter.

“Why are you staying away from Peter?” Way to switch the topic with ease, Jamie.

“Remember how I told you about the bind he made with Di? Well, it's been chaffing him lately. I know that's a weird way to describe it, but that's the best way I can describe it. I'm just so scared to lose him. I can't lose him, Jamie.” My voice cracks and I'm afraid I'm going to get all blubbery and emotional again.

“Then you have to fight. I know I haven't been a fan of him, but if you love him, then I'm cool with it. As long as he doesn't change you without your permission. Then his ass is grass.” I laugh a little.

“I don't know how. It all seems so impossible.”

“If it's meant to be, it will work out.” Rasha said the same thing.

Yeah, I'm not really into the whole 'wait and see.' It's time to seize and take. The future belongs to those who take hold of it. My mother never said that, but I read something like that once.

“I'll be right back.” I turn around and see Peter lurking behind a Sentra.

“You. Come here.” I point to him and crook my finger. “I know you want to keep your distance and all, but that's not going to work for me.” I wait for him to tell me to stay away, that he can't be close to me, or for him to turn to ash.

He takes a step toward me. “It is not working for me, either.”

I want to throw myself on him, but I settle for another step. “Just, don't fall for me. Please? I'll do really unattractive things like blowing my nose in my hand and farting and stuff.”

A step. “Nothing you could do would ever disgust me. Ever.”

“Then you have to promise me something.” I pause before I say it. Promises are huge things for us. “That when we go to find Di with Helena, that if it doesn't work, you will change me. No more waiting.”

He turns his head to the side. “You want me to change you?”

“Yes.” I'm sure. It only took less than an hour of him ignoring me to know that I never, ever want that to happen again. The only thing that would be worse than being a vampire hybrid would be Peter ignoring me. It is unendurable.

“I said I would only change you if that was what you wanted. Is that what you want?” I nod.

He holds my arms with his hands, looking deep into my eyes. Just to make sure. “If we can't get rid of Di, yes. I want you to change me.”

He nods. That's a first. “Then I promise. I promise that we will make a plan to get Di and if we can't follow through with it, I will change you.”

“Okay then.”

I lean up and kiss him on the lips. Just a quick peck and then I run away. Kiss and ditch. My heart fills with the certainty that no matter what, human or noctalis, Peter and I will be together. I can deal with anything else, as long as I have him.

I go through the rest of the day with a crazy smile on my face. Tex asks me about it, but I just shake my head. My teachers keep looking at me suspiciously, so I have to cool it in most of my classes. There is such certainty in my decision. I wasn't ready, but something about today has flipped the switch. One moment I had doubt and now I have none. I think the weekend did it to me, too. Seeing Mom's house and how tragic it all was affected me more than I could admit. I don’t want my relationship with Peter to be like that house. A place I remember, but can’t go back to.

Yes, the immortality thing scares the bejeezus out of me. Yes, I don't really want to live forever, but if I get to have Peter, I'll take it. I can do anything as long as he is by my side. The other side of the coin is that death scares me. Despite having a mother who is soon to face it, I am actually more scared about the thought of my own mortality than I was a little while ago.

I'm sure now.

***

I get home to a note that Dad's taken Mom to the doctor's. It sends a wave of nausea through me, but I know that this is going to be the norm now. It's going to get more and more frequent. We must have taxed her yesterday, but that was bound to happen. She refuses to slow down. I don't blame her.

Mom's tulips are starting to poke their little heads out of the soil and into the sunlight. She's been trying to keep up with the weeding, watering and such, but it's just too much for her since she tires so easily.

“Hey, want to be my garden boy?” I say to Peter, shading my face from the sun. Maybe I'll borrow Mom's giant straw hat.

“Your wish is my command,” he says, bowing. Oh, I could get used to that.

I put on the hat and grab some gloves and a trowel. Peter digs right in, moving faster than I ever could. I've discovered yet another one of his talents. Weed Master. I'm going to add it to the List of Things I Love About Peter right between Doing My Laundry and Letting Me Play Taylor Swift In The Car.

I sit back and watch him. The dirt covers his clothes, and he doesn't care that it's everywhere. He's so breathtaking and I can't believe I get to call him mine.

“You're staring,” he says.

“You're sexy.”

He lunges at me and I squeal to get away. He rolls with me in the flowerbed, and I don't care that we're probably crushing some of them. He props himself on his elbows over me and wipes some dirt on my nose.

“There.”

“What was that for?”

“I wanted to see what you looked like covered in dirt. Humans are very clean.”

I can barely breathe, and it's not because my lungs aren't working. “We tend to be. I could not shower if you'd like that.”

“I like the way your skin smells in the morning when you wake up.”

“You probably don't like my breath very much.”

“Humans are very concerned with how they smell, I have noticed.” I roll so that I'm propped on one elbow. We should really get off Mom's flowers.

“Well, if we all smelled like you, we wouldn't have to worry about it.”

“You smell good to me.”

“That's a relief,” I say. “We're probably crushing Mom's tulips.”

“We probably are.” He moves to his feet and leans down to pull me up. He pulls too hard and I slam into his chest. It hurts, but I like it.

“If you change me, maybe I'll be the one bruising you.”

“We don't bruise.”

I roll my eyes. “I know, but it would be cool to think that I'd be the one with the upper hand.”

“Ava, you have the power to destroy me every second. What more of an upper hand do you need?” There he goes again, turning it around on me.

“I guess you have a point. Still, it would be nice to beat you at an arm-wrestling match.”

He gives me a slow smile. “I could let you win.”

“Such a sweet boy,” I say, patting his cheek and wiping some dirt off it. He's a dirty boy, too.

“Come on, why don't you get cleaned up? Not that I don't like the garden boy look on you. There are some clean clothes in your drawer.”

“I will be right back,” he says, smearing dirt on my face as he walks by. Naughty boy.

I like this playful side of Peter. It is rare, so I cherish it even more. I realize this is what it could be like. Forever. I could lie in the dirt with him forever. Never grow old. Never change, never worry about getting sick.

My parents pull into the driveway as I'm putting the tools back in the shed. Dad helps Mom out of the car and she leans heavily on him.

“What's wrong?”

“They did some blood tests, so I'm a little woozy,” Mom says as she toddles up the steps to the front door, Dad helping her like she's a baby learning to walk.

I wish they would stop doing tests. They're not going to change anything, because she's not going to get better. I lean on the banister of the porch steps. That's a horrible thing to think. I know they're doing tests to figure out what medications to give her so she can be more comfortable, not just because they're sadists with God complexes. First do no harm, and all that, but still. Why can't they leave her alone?

I walk back inside as Peter is walking downstairs, slicking his wet hair back from his forehead. God, I love it when he does that.

“Oh hello, Peter. I didn't know you were here,” Mom says. Such a lie.

“He was just helping me in the garden,” I say because Dad looks really suspicious, like he's going to start talking about cleaning his gun, which he doesn't have.

“Oh,” he says.

“And he was just going home, right Peter? You have finals to study for.” I give our connection a little pinch.

“So do you,” he says.

“You're welcome to study here if you want to,” Mom says, smiling and giving Dad a pinch that we all see, but pretend not to.

“Thank you, Claire, but I should get home. Goodnight, Ava.”

“Goodnight, Peter.” I dive and give him a kiss on the lips right in front of my parents. If things go according to our promise, they're going to be seeing even more of that. Best to start them out slow.

“See you later,” I say as he walks out the front door. He's just going to turn around and go through the backdoor. Or in his case, roof. I'm adding Stealthily Climbing In My Window to the Peter Love list.

Twenty-Two

Peter

Ava's mother has a cold the next morning.

“It's nothing,” she says, her voice full of mucus.

Sam sends her back to bed with lots of medicine and orders her to rest. Ava's anxiety twangs upstairs to me, and I know that she is very close to breaking. I send her as much positive energy as I can. If I could, I would attach my hands to her skin and keep them there, to keep the bad things away.

I wish she did not have to be in school. Although I think it is important for her to maintain her human life, it does not seem possible right now. Minimizing my impact as much as possible is all I can do, and she makes it difficult. Especially now that I have promised to make her a noctalis. I knew it would come to that. She is so intent on ending her human life and starting her immortal existence. Sometimes I wonder if it is the escape from mortality, or if it is me that she is after. It is times like this when I wish I could read all her thoughts.

“I can't go today,” Ava says when I get in her car at the end of the driveway. “Can we just go to the beach or somewhere and just be the two of us? I need some us time.”

“Of course. I will take you wherever you need to go. Always.”

She looks at me with so much pain and desire to be with me it is nearly impossible to deny that she does want to be with me. Still, I will always have that doubt that if I had not Claimed her, she would not feel so about me.

“Thanks,” she says, giving me a peck on the cheek.

“Do you want me to drive?” I ask. I do not mind driving. It is rather pleasant, in a strange sort of way.

“Thanks, baby.” She kisses my cheek again and gets out of the car to switch seats.

“Buckle your seatbelt,” she says as she buckles hers, and pushes her seat back so she can lie down.

“Tired?”

“I don't know. I just couldn't turn my brain off.” The circles under her eyes have been getting darker and darker. The instances of her nightmares are more frequent as well.

“You had the nightmare again,” I say, brushing one finger along her arm to watch her skin burst into goose bumps.

She sits up, startled. “What?”

“The nightmare you have about me and your mother burning as we... say those words.” I have to stop myself from saying it. The words are in the back of my throat and burn like ash, but I'm able to swallow them down.

She groans loudly and pretends to smash her face on the dashboard. I start the car and drive toward town. I want to take her somewhere new. Somewhere she hasn't been. A place without memories so we can make some new ones.

She groans again, and I rub her back. “I really wish you couldn't read my mind. Really, really wish. Not that I don't love you, but I really don't need you in my head.”

“I am sorry. It comes to me and I cannot stop it. I like knowing what you're thinking. Not all the time, though. I also like you surprising me.”

“Well that's good. I'm sorry about that.”

“You cannot control what you see when you sleep, my girl.” She smiles when I call her mine. I like saying it because I like her reaction. I don't call her baby because she asked me not to. I will have to try out some other endearments to see which she likes the best.

“I don't really believe in omens and all that. Tex gave me this book on dream interpretation, but it was no help. I know what it means. I'm scared to lose you, but that's no mystery. I think about it all damn day. You'd think I'd get some peace when I slept, but no dice.”

“I am sorry. I would invade your dreams and change them if I could.” Anything to help her sleep. Her human body needs it.

“That would be kind of cool, even if it was creepy that you could affect my dreams.”

I think for a moment. “I do not remember dreaming.” I only know what it is like from her perspective. It is murky, dark and changes quickly, going from a normal day at school to a cave to a blue sky. Confusing and strange. They are a kind of magic, dreams.

She shrugs. “It's not that great. I wish I had more time to do stuff. You waste years of your life sleeping.”

“What would you do with your time?” I turn onto the main road that leads from Sussex to the more populated areas.

“Read more, probably. Maybe I'd be better at math if I had more time. Or maybe not.”

She laughs and turns on the radio to the pop station. One of her favorites, Taylor Swift, comes on and Ava hums along. Her mood is better, but there are still dark edges to it. She is worried about Claire, but is trying not to think about it.

“What would you like to do today?” I say.

“Nothing.” The wave of desire that hits me reveals her lie. Yes, she has shoved anxiety about Claire far to the back of her mind. I give her a look.

“Okay! Okay. I hate that you can read me like that. It's crazy embarrassing.” She hides her face in her hands.

“Ava,” I say, putting one of my hands on hers. I send my desire to her and she gasps, uncovering her eyes.

“You are not the only one.” I remove my hand from her skin so we don't get carried away.

“It's a good thing I'm not driving. I might have crashed.” Her voice is unsteady and her blood pumps faster. I should not have done that.

“I am sorry.”

“S'okay. Just... warn me next time.” She struggles to calm herself down, fiddling with the radio again. “Where are you taking me?” she says finding another Taylor Swift song.

“A place I found when I first came to Sussex. You'll like it, I promise.” It is so easy to promise her things. She may think that they are empty, since they are not binding, but for me, they are more important, because I choose them. I choose her.

“You're not going to tell me what it is, are you?”

“That would ruin the surprise.” She is worse than Claire.

I keep driving, taking her to a little church I found when I first started coming to Sussex to see my family and tried to end my existence. Every year after I hadn't succeeded, I would find a new place to reflect. Mostly on my failures. Now I want to show one of them to Ava. She will appreciate the beauty of a simple stone church.

It only takes twenty minutes to get there, since I drive as fast as I like. Ava doesn't ask me to slow down. She knows that if the car was to crash, I would be able to get her out. It thrills me that she trusts me with her life, but it is also a large responsibility. The heaviest thing I have ever carried.

We don't talk much on the ride. I am content to give her all the calm I can, holding her hand so I can pump as much as possible into her. She closes her eyes and dozes.

It is the most peaceful I have seen her in a while. I wish it could last forever.

Ava

I should go to school. I should focus more on other things, but I need a break. My poor human brain can only take so much. I need a vacation, even if it's only for a few hours. No Di, no Helena, no Brooke. No worrying about Viktor turning Tex. I'm still worrying about my mother's cold. She's not supposed to get sick. We've tried to keep the house sterile and limit her contact with people, but somehow some germs got into the house. Her immune system is compromised as it is, and a cold can be dangerous. Maybe it was Gretchen, that bitch.

I somehow fall asleep and wake when Peter kisses my shoulder.

“We're here.” I stretch and look out the window. Tall ancient trees surround a little stone church. It's so old there isn't even a road for cars. “Come on,” he says, getting out of the car and opening my door.

I step out onto soft ground that is spongy with moss. No one has been here in a while. The air is thick with moisture.

“What do you think?”

I look at the unassuming church. It's small, even smaller than my house, and made of stone. The door has long since rotted away, leaving only a stone doorway. There is a little turret that rises about ten feet above the main part and is capped by a little triangle with a tiny cross on it. I suppose there was once glass in the windows, but it is long gone. Peter takes my hand and leads me closer. The stones are rough and uneven, as if they were gathered and not made by a mason’s calloused hands.

“How old is it?” I say.

“I am not sure. Older than me.” He smiles and leads me inside.

The smell is of wet stone and dust, but it's not unpleasant. Our steps echo in the small space and my breathing is loud. Animals scurry and nestle in little nooks and crannies, and there are more than a few bird's nests.

“Wow,” I whisper, too afraid to use the full volume of my voice. It seems sacrilegious.

“Even if I don't have a soul anymore, I can appreciate the beauty of a church. My mother played the piano for our church when I was young. I can still hear the hymns in the back of my mind,” Peter says, his voice also quiet. I walk down the middle, brushing my hands on the stone benches that once held parishioners.

“I've never really been to church. Jamie used to go, back when he was younger, because his mom made him, but my parents weren't into it. Mom is too practical. She says she's more into science than religion. Guess that's different now.”

“I came here the first year after I changed. I don't remember how I found it, but I felt at peace here.” He walks all the way to the front of the church, where there is a stone altar.

“I feel like we shouldn't be here. Like we're not worthy, or something,” I say with a little laugh. Some dust crawls up my nose and I sneeze. “Is God going to smite me for sneezing in his house?”

“I don't believe so, Ava. If he does not strike me down for coming in without a soul, then I think you are safe.” He stops at the altar and looks up at the stone cross that somehow still hangs on the wall.

“It's so beautiful and sad. This empty church. It's like it's missing a heartbeat.”

“Like me. A shell without a heart.” It breaks mine to hear him talk like that.

“You're not the Tin Man. You have a heart; you just don't think you do. Just because the one in your body doesn't work anymore, doesn't mean it isn't there. Just because you can't use it, or say the words, doesn't mean you won't ever. Someday, you are going to tell me you love me, Peter Henry Mackintire. Someday you will say those words to me. I won't stop until it happens. Got it?” I grab his chin and force him to look at me. “I'm losing one love; I can't deal with losing another.”

He pulls my face up for a kiss. “My girl,” he says, “my heart.” He puts his hand on my chest, feeling my heart beat.

I'd give it to him if I could.

Twenty-Three

Brooke

I had to leave him. I couldn't stay or else I'd kill him.

“Don't you have anything better to do?” I said to Helena as we sat outside Jamie's window.

I knew it was weird, but I liked being close to him. I hadn't been able to apologize to him yet. He'd passed out again in his truck as I drove him home and carried him to bed. His parents and sister hadn't been home. I had to fight the urge to take the rest of his blood once it was on my tongue. Even if I couldn't see him, I could hear him breathe and listen to his heartbeat and his voice. I'd hurt his hand, and though it was healing, I couldn't heal what I'd broken. He was afraid of me, but he still wanted to be with me. I was afraid of me, too.

A million times I'd thought of what I would say to him. How I would apologize and explain, but the words wouldn't come. I wanted to tell him that I thought about him every waking moment, which was all of my moments, because I didn't sleep. I wanted to tell him that if I could go back and be mortal for him, I would. If there were a way I could be the girl I was three weeks ago, I would. I couldn't, and I couldn't tell him. I had to go. I was just having a hard time letting go.

He'd said my name several times. He knew I was there. I didn't answer.

“I have lived a lot of life, young one,” Helena said. Sometimes she sounded like a girl I could have been friends with and other times she sounded like a grandmother. It threw me off.

“Don't call me that.”

Helena laughed. “You're adorable,” she said.

“Shut up.”

“Don't you have anything better to do than stalk him?”

“Not really.”

My mission to find Ava, to see who she was and find out why Ivan had loved her and not me had long been forgotten. I wasn't sure why it had been my mission in the first place. Maybe it was because I missed Ivan. I still did, but I had something else to fill that hole. More like someone. I'd thought I'd found it, but then I'd screwed it up. I couldn't fix it, so I had to go. Find something else. I wasn't going to tell Helena about it. I still didn't know what she wanted from me.

“You must have had some reason to come to this little podunk town,” Helena said, studying her nails.

“I just ended up here. I didn't choose it.” It was much easier to lie when your heartbeat, breathing and blinking couldn't betray you.

“I see.” She climbed a tree and stood on the top limb, swaying in the breeze. She jumped down next to me. I was unimpressed. I could do the same thing. Maybe we could race one another.

“You know I am good at finding things out about people. The internet makes it a lot easier.”

“Oh really?” I pretended that I didn't care. But I did. Very much. I knew that they would think I was here for different reasons, his friends and their noctali. They already were against me, and there was nothing I could say that would change their minds. Not after how I had sought out Jamie and almost killed him.

“Yes. You should know,” she said, stepping in front of me, “that if you want to have a secret identity, you should probably use a different name.”

“Get out of my way.” She blocked my view of Jamie's bedroom. I tried to lunge around her, but she was faster. I stopped trying and crossed my arms. Why couldn't she leave me alone?

“Your name is Brooke Hallowell. You were reported missing on May 6, but that probably wasn't when you disappeared, is it? Your mother took a few days to realize that you hadn't just run off. There are still posters on every telephone pole in your town. Cara put them up. So did Dillon.”

If I were human, I would have showed the shock on my face. If I were human, I might have slapped her. Instead I stood there, saying nothing.

“You know silence is often more telling than speaking.” How did she know about Cara? And Dillon? How could she know about them?

“I know a lot of things about you, Brooke. It was easy to do a little digging. I also did a little research using one of my brothers. I have a lot of brothers and sisters. Several of them are in love with me and will do anything I ask. They found where you changed. When a noctalis changes, there is often a strong signature scent left behind that is hard to erase. Yours was all too easy to find.”

I waited for her to keep going.

“It only took a little more digging to find out who was in the area around that time, which led me to...” she trailed off dramatically. I didn't bother filling in the answer. “Ivan. Peter's brother. He's your father. Or should I say was.”

“What is the point of all this? You know who I am, big deal.”

“Well, I just find it interesting that your father is dead and you just happen to find yourself in the same town as his brothers and the girl he loved.”

I didn't snap at her. I didn't yell. I just looked at her.

“Well, don't you have anything to say?”

“What should I say? You figured me out. Congratulations.”

“The thing is, I haven't really,” she said, tipping her head to the side as if she was fascinated with me. “You didn't come here to seek revenge; that much is clear. You would have gone right for Ava if you were. Instead you went after her friend.”

“I didn't go after him.”

“I know,” she said, smiling. “You just happened to stumble on him. Strange how things happen like that, isn't it?”

“I'm not here to hurt them.” The incident the other day didn't count.

“I know.”

I was getting really tired of hearing her say that. “If you know everything, then why are you pestering me?”

“I find you interesting, Brooke. You are one of the most human noctali I have met in a long time. I like studying you.”

Jamie's family was talking in the house, a quiet human hum that I could never be a part of again.

“Go study someone else.”

I wanted to lunge at her throat, but it would do no good. She had the upper hand, and I would have to bow down to her age, strength and experience. I wished Ivan were here. He would have put her in her place. The ache of missing him was something I never thought would go away. The only thing that could cure it was Jamie, and now I was losing him as well. I had nothing left. Only my endless existence.

“Why do you care so much?” I said.

“Because I have seen mortals and immortals alike do insane things for love. I don't want to see you do something you will regret for the rest of your existence. I've seen it happen. It is not a way to lead this life.”

“What happened to you?” I was more curious about her than I would ever let on.

She looked toward the trees. “Someone I loved hurt me. It was a long time ago, but the memory haunts me every moment of every day. I wish I could take it all back. I'm going to find her. Do you want to come with me?”

Up until now, I'd seen her as just a nuisance. It was clear that Helena had loved and lost. She knew was she was talking about. I thought about it. I could stay and be with Jamie until I did kill him, or I could leave and save him. This could be my new purpose.

I just wanted to jump into the bedroom window of that human boy, kiss him, pull his clothes off, and stay with him all night. We wouldn't have to have sex, but I wanted his skin touching mine. I wanted to meld with him like we were one person, instead of two.

“Sure, why not?”

Twenty-Three

Peter

Ava and I spend the rest of the day sitting in the church or on the hood of her car. She keeps an emergency stash of food in her car, and I find a stream to bring her water in a coffee cup she had in her car.

“Thanks, Peter. You're so considerate,” she says, giving me a kiss as a reward.

The afternoon sun seeps into my skin and I lie with her in my arms.

“I don't want to go back. What if we ran away? I'm not saying we should. I could never leave Mom. But what if? How long do you think we could run from Di?”

“I ran from her once before and she always found me. Di has a way of finding things that don't want to be found.”

Ava's phone rings and she groans before she answers it. “Hey, Tex. Yeah, I know. I just needed some time, okay? Jesus, take a chill pill.”

Texas is yelling on the other end of the line. Ava rolls her eyes, knowing I can hear every word.

“No, I'm fine. I just needed a break.” She rubs her hand across her face. I can tell she is still tired. I might have to drug her to get her to sleep again. It worked well the last time. Texas asks if she should come over to Ava's house.

“Sure, if you want to. Don't bring Viktor. You know what I mean. He can hang with Peter in my room. I just think that it would be too much right now, okay?”

Texas reluctantly agrees, and Ava hangs up.

“She is so much work, and it's even worse now. Not that I don't like Viktor, but it's hard enough with just Tex. Now I have a whole other person to consider. This Claiming business is worse than marriage.”

“What is making you upset?” I can feel her emotions, but more often than not, I am not sure where they originate.

“It's really, really stupid, so I don't want to tell you.”

“Nothing you could ever say or think or feel could be stupid.” Where would she get such a notion? She lets out a big sigh before she speaks. I wait.

“I was just thinking about the church, and you and me and what it would be like. You know, in the future. Whether you change me or not, I want to spend the rest of my time with you. Forever. I was just thinking that it feels a lot like marriage, which is crazy because I'm only seventeen, but I'm already tied to you for life. I was just thinking,” she says in a rush.

I thought the same thing more than once. That she tied herself to me without having a concept of what that meant. That I Claimed her without thinking about the consequences for the rest of her life. I made an impulsive decision out of fear of losing her. If I was human, I would marry her. I would have proposed a long time ago.

“It is something to think about,” I say.

She blinks at me. “What is?”

“Marriage.”

“For real? I didn't think you would care about something so trivial and human. I mean, we couldn't legally do it, could we?”

“Viktor could make up the papers and make them real. If you wanted.”

“I don't know,” she says, twisting her hands together. “I don't think my mother would approve. My dad would go ballistic. I was just thinking out loud.” She tries to dismiss it, but I won't let her. “I mean, you couldn't even say the vows right.”

“It wouldn't matter. I have already tied myself to you in other ways. What would one more bind mean? Just one more way I am connected with you. What is wrong with that?”

“I have to think about it. Not right now. Someday.” She pulls back, scared of the idea.

“Whatever you want, Ava, I will give to you.”

She makes a frustrated sound. “What I want is for you to be able to love. For you to know what it feels like when I look at you, and I feel like the world is ending and beginning at the same time.”

“I do feel that way.” Every second of every day.

“Then why hasn't it happened? It doesn't make sense. I feel like we're missing a piece of the puzzle.” It is possible that there is more to the bind than we thought, but I can't imagine what that could be.

Her phone buzzes again. Her father.

“Hey, Dad. No, I'm hanging out with Tex,” she says, the lie slipping easily from her lips. Her father asks her when she will be home.

“Soon. What's up?” We can both tell there is something in his voice that isn't good. Ava tenses, causing me to do so as well.

“I'm just worried about your mom. I called Dr. Young, but he doesn't seem concerned. Could you go to the pharmacy and get a prescription for her?” he says.

“Of course. You sure she's okay?”

“I'm doing everything he said to do, so we'll wait and see. If we have to, we can go to the hospital. Hopefully it's just a bug and it will pass.”

“Okay, I'll be home soon. Love you,” she says, adding the last part.

Sam hesitates before he says, “Love you, too,” and hangs up.

“You never know when the last time to say I love you is, so I've been making it a point to say it all the time. Just in case. I know we've had our issues, but Mom was right. We need to get over it so we can be there for each other.”

I help her off the hood of the car and she gets into the driver's seat.

“I love you, just so you know.”

“I do.”

I can acknowledge her feelings for me, I can be aware of them, I can revel in them, but I cannot share them. I hope Helena finds Di soon. I can sense that Claire is nearing her end, and I will not let Ava be alone during the aftermath. I want to be there for her, fully and completely.

Brooke

Helena and I stopped so I could feed. She was so old she barely needed any blood. I was a little jealous of her control. I had pretty much none.

“Not him, how about her?” We were near a city park; I didn't remember which city. Maybe Chicago? There was a contingent of homeless people that we'd been watching for a few minutes.

“Yes, her. She's the one.”

I didn't ask what she meant. I waited until the woman, who wore a baggy coat and holey leggings, stumbled down a side street. She slumped against a building, and I could hear that her heart was slowing. I had not noticed it when she was in the large group so full of beating sounds.

“She has a heart condition. She will not last much longer. You are doing her a mercy,” Helena said, eyeing the rest of the group as if picking out a second. I didn't want to take another. I would stick with one.

I never faced them. A swift twist of the neck was all it took, and she went limp in my arms. I bit her neck and sucked as fast as I could, getting as much fresh blood. It was better when they were still alive, but I hadn't done that since I'd met Jamie. He'd made me think about the fact that I was killing people.

I laid the woman down slowly, closing her eyes and covering her face with her coat. I hoped someone would find her before the rats did.

“Shall we?” Helena said behind me.

The blood fizzed through my body, making me giddy. I wanted to jump from tall buildings, spin around in circles and kiss the stars. I wanted to do everything and nothing all at the same time.

We kept running through the night, but every now and then Helena would stop and think. This had gotten more frequent the farther we had gone. Every time I asked her where we were going, she would just say, “Closer.” If we wouldn't have stopped so much, we would have been able to travel much faster.

Helena was a chatterbox, and I learned all about her life in India, her travels and what she did with her time. I'd thought about that; the fact that I was immortal.

“It can be boring,” she said as we lay naked in the sun the next afternoon. “It's only fun if you have other noctali to share it with.”

“Who do you share it with?”

“I have twenty brothers and sisters. Well, they're not really. I guess they'd be my cousins.”

“Do you all live together?” I was unfamiliar with how noctali families worked. Ivan had never touched on that.

“No. Most of the time we only can be in small groups. Noctali, as predators, don't really get along that well. But I love them anyway.”

“And Di?”

“Yeah, I love her, too, but that's different.” I knew Helena loved Di, even after all she had done. I thought about it, and even if Jamie murdered the entire world, I would kiss him, hold him and be with him. Love made you do things you could never imagine otherwise.

On the third day she stopped for a long time. We were in the middle of the desert. New Mexico or Arizona maybe. I should have read more of the road signs.

“We're close,” she said after ten long minutes of waiting.

Ava

I meet Tex in the yard before she comes in the house equipped with a can of Lysol and a bottle of hand sanitizer.

“What the hell are you doing?” she says when I hold the can in front of my face.

“My mom's sick, so I have to disinfect you.”

“You're serious?” She glances back at the end of my driveway where Viktor lurks. He and Peter are such good lurkers. I wonder if it's something you become good at when you become immortal, like not blinking and not breathing.

“Yes, I'm serious,” I say, turning my attention back to Tex. Dr. Young gave strict orders that we keep Mom's environment as germ-free as possible. Dad and I pulled out an air purifier they had when I was a baby and we cleaned it pretty much every hour. Our house is covered in containers of disinfectant wipes. The floor is so clean, you could eat off it.

“Turn around and close your eyes.” She sighs like it's the hardest thing she's ever been asked to do. She turns and sticks her arms out, and I hear her take a deep breath. I spray her from head to toe, and of course the wind comes up and blows most of the spray in my face. I choke on it for a second.

“Serves you right,” Tex mutters.

“Now the other side.” She squishes up her face and turns it to the side as I spray her again. When I'm done, I make her sanitize her hands and hand her some tissues in case she sneezes.

“Why don't you just wrap your house in plastic?”

“Too expensive,” I say, opening the front door and letting her in. I make her take off her shoes and wipe them, too. I also spray them for good measure.

“Jesus, it's like a hospital in here.” She means by how clean it is. Well, yeah, that's the idea. “I have never seen your house this effing clean.”

“Pardon?” Dad says, sticking his head out of his office door.

“Oh, hi Mr. Sullivan. I was just saying I've never seen the house so darn clean.”

“That's what I thought,” he says, giving both of us the eye. “I'd appreciate it if you stayed in the living room or Ava's room and kept it down. Claire's sleeping.” I want to roll my eyes and make a snarky teenage response, but I don't. I have to be an adult about it.

“Okay, we will.”

“Bye, Mr. Sullivan,” Tex says, giving him her brightest smile. Oh, please. He gives her a little wave and goes back to doing whatever he's doing. “Oops,” Tex mouths at me. She glances at the office door to make sure it's closed. I hear sounds upstairs. Viktor's here.

“Upstairs?” I say.

“Duh.”

I turn toward the stairs, but Tex stops me. “We need snacks first.”

We rustle up what we can and make two trips upstairs. The boys are standing next to my bookshelf, as if they're posing for a magazine cover. They really have no idea. I wish I had one of those fancy cameras to take pictures of them. I don't have any pictures of Peter as he is now. I need to fix that. What if I lost him and had no evidence that he ever existed? Nothing but the key around my neck and a few pictures of him when he was human. No one would believe me that he was real.

“Hey, babe,” Tex says in a casual way, walking toward Viktor.

“Hey,” he says in a sexy voice. I glance at Peter and of course, he blinks.

“Any news from Helena?” I ask Viktor.

“Not yet. She has not messaged me in a couple of days, which means she has lost the phone, or she doesn't have anything to say. It could be either.”

“Brooke has a phone,” Tex says. We all look at her. “What? Jamie told me. He bought it for her, the moron.” She shakes her head.

“He's got it bad,” I say.

“Tell me something I don't know.”

“You told me that noctali don't form bonds, but I feel like every single one I've met is hopelessly in love with someone,” I say to Peter.

“There are many of us who are not. Like stays with like. You have not seen many of the loners. They stay out of sight as much as possible. They exist in this world, but not as a part of it. The only time you would see them is in your last moment of life,” Peter says.

“They sound like the legit vampires,” Tex says.

“More or less,” Peter says.

I poke him in the chest. “I hate it when you say that.”

“No, you don't.”

“Okay, that's enough of that,” Tex says, putting her arm between us. Like she is any better.

“So, um, we have something to tell you,” Tex says, taking Viktor's hand. Oh, God. Peter's hand goes to my back, sliding under my shirt so his skin is against mine. I stop breathing for a second. I know I'm not going to like what she's going to say.

“We're moving in together. Not, like, right now, but when I graduate.”

Okay, so that is not as bad as I thought it would be. “Is there more?”

“What more do you think there would be?” She pretends that she's shocked, but I know better.

“Oh, I don't know, maybe that Viktor was going to change you?”

“No, we've agreed not until after graduation,” she says, nodding.

“What the FUCK, Tex?!”

“Jesus, calm down. I was just messing with you.” She looks at me like I'm the one who's overreacting.

“You said you were going to be nice,” Viktor says, touching her shoulder. Thank you.

Tex sighs. “Yeah, I did. Which is why I brought this,” she says, pointing to Viktor, who whips something out from behind his back. I seriously have no idea where he hid it. He hands it to me and everyone waits for me to open it. The package is square and covered in glittery wrapping. What a shocker. There's also a crap ton of glittery curled ribbon on it.

“I wrapped it myself,” Tex says, as if she's very proud of this fact. I raise one eyebrow, because I am very familiar with Tex's wrapping jobs. Nearly every Christmas she calls me in a panic and makes me come over to wrap her presents.

“Okay, so Viktor wrapped it, but I curled the ribbon.” Well, it's the thought that counts, right? It takes forever to get the ribbon off and I peel the paper back. It's a silver photo frame with a picture of me, Tex and my mom.

“Remember that? I found it the other day and I thought you'd want to have it.”

Dad had snapped that one a few years ago. Before the cancer, before Peter, before my life took a dark turn. Tex and I were getting ready for the winter semi-formal dance, and Mom was helping us. Dad snapped the picture from the side, so none of us were aware of it. Mom was squishing her face up at both of us, and Tex and I were laughing. We both had our hair done, but hadn't put our dresses on, so we were prom queens on top, and casual below. I liked it because my makeup was done and I felt so pretty that night. Jamie took both of us as his dates, and we teased him the whole night about being a stud.

Mom looks so healthy and vibrant in the picture. It's amazing how seeing this, seeing how she was, highlights how drastic the changes are. I guess when the changes come about slowly, you don't notice it day to day. The picture is both a reminder of what I had and what I'm going to lose. Bittersweet.

“Thanks, Tex.” Of course the tears come, and Peter offers his shoulder.

“I just... I didn't know what to do. I don't know what to say, and I'm always afraid I'll say the wrong thing. I'm no good at this stuff.” It's true, she isn't. She holds her arms out for a hug, and I give her one.

“That was nice.”

“Good,” she says, as if she's relieved. “It was either that or a book about losing someone you love.” Dear God, I did not need one of those.

“I'm glad you went with the picture. It's beautiful.” I put it on my nightstand, right next to my notebook and pen.

“Your mother is coming upstairs,” Peter says and in a blink, he and Viktor are out the window. Tex and I throw ourselves on my bed and try to look like we're talking about something stupid and teenagery.

“Knock, knock,” Mom says, poking her head in the door. Her voice is still stuffed with mucus, and her eyes are all swollen and red.

“Hey, Mom.”

“Hey, baby. Hey, Tex. How are you?”

Tex's eyes widen a second at Mom's appearance. It's been a while since she saw her last. “Good, Mrs. Sullivan. How are you?”

“I've been better,” she says, winking. Tex is nervous, as if she wants to run away.

“Well, I just wanted to say hi. Let me know if you need anything.”

There is no way that I would ask her to make me a snack in her condition. Dad would never allow that. I'm shocked he even let her come up the stairs. I can hear him hovering at the bottom, ready to rush up the stairs if something should go wrong.

“I was just telling Ava that I've been dying to see that movie she has. You know the one about the soldier who tries to find that girl? We were just coming down to watch it,” Tex says. She pinches my arm where Mom can't see. I don't know what her sudden change of heart is, but I'm all up for it.

“You want to watch it with us?” I say.

“Sure, baby. I'd love to. If you don't mind. I don't want to infringe on your girl time.”

“Are you kidding? Who else can understand my appreciation of Patrick Swayze?”

“That is true. I tell you, if I wasn't married...” Mom says, sighing dreamily.

“Amen to that,” Tex says, getting up.

I can tell she's nervous, but she's trying to be nice. I see her glance out the window and make a little motion with her fingers. I can just see Viktor and Peter on the edge of the roof, far enough out that they are shrouded in darkness, but close enough that I can see them with my enhanced eyesight. Those boys.

“So, Tex, I hear there is a new man in your life,” Mom says. I told her Tex and Viktor are together, but I didn't tell her about the Claiming part.

“Yeah, he's... pretty special,” Tex says, fiddling with her glasses.

“So I've heard.” They're both pretending the other one doesn't know about the whole immortal thing because talking about it out loud is just too weird. It's one thing for me and Mom to talk about it, but it's another to have a group discussion.

“I know you know, Tex,” Mom says, stomping on the eggshells and using her mom tone.

“Know what?”

“You're a smart girl. I just hope you'll be careful.”

“I will,” she says. I said the exact same thing to her when I told her about Peter.

“Okay,” Mom says. “You sure you don't want anything? I can whip up some pudding or something.”

We walk down the stairs, meeting Dad. He has his own stern look on.

“Claire, don't tax yourself. I'll do it.”

“Sam, please.” The pleading tone in her voice gives me a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. Tex is clearly uncomfortable.

“We'll help. I haven't been over here to make anything in so long,” Tex pipes up.

“You mean ruin it,” I say, trying to pick up on her light tone. “Don't tell me you've forgotten the blueberry cobbler incident.”

Her eyes narrow with fake anger. “We said we would never speak of it again.”

“Speak of what?” Mom says.

“Exactly,” Tex says, giving her a high five. I forgot how well they got along together.

An hour later Tex, Mom and I are on the couch with three spoons and a giant bowl of chocolate chip pudding. We're all engrossed in the love story playing out on the screen.

“French braids!” Mom yells.

“What?” The girl on the movie has French braids, but I'm not sure what that has to do with anything.

“It's on the list,” Mom says, yanking on my ponytail. “Tex, can we use your head?”

“Yeah, sure,” she says, licking her pudding spoon. Mom proceeds to arrange Tex on the floor, with me sitting behind her so I have full access to her hair. It's not as long and thick as mine, but still, there's quite a bit to work with.

“Okay, so you take a little bit here and another there, and start.” My first attempt is awful, so I undo it and start again. I'm fine with a basic braid, and I can do a fish bone on another person, but for some reason the concept of the French braid baffles me.

“Ouch,” Tex says, when I unintentionally pull on a few strands.

“Sorry.”

“Be careful,” she gripes. I make a face at her back and try again.

By the time the movie is over and the pudding is consumed, I have a halfway decent French braid on Tex's head.

“Not bad,” she says, reaching up to feel it. “You wanna come over every morning and do that?” My fingers are actually tired from concentrating so hard on getting it right.

“Good job, ma fleur. You're a natural.” I'm not, but it's still nice to hear anyway.

Dad comes in to get the pudding bowl and taps Mom on the shoulder, giving her a look. She is coughing a lot, and I had to get her a second box of tissues. I've also been making Tex use the sanitizer.

“I think that's it for me. Thanks for letting your old crusty mom hang out with you,” she says.

“Oh stop it, you're awesome,” Tex says, getting up. She looks like she wants to give Mom a hug, but doesn't know if she should. Mom goes for her, giving her one anyway and kissing her cheek. Tex looks at me, and then starts to cry.

“I'm sorry. I'm just so sorry.” She sobs on Mom's shoulder. It's been several weeks since I told her about Mom, but I guess seeing her in person and seeing how sick she is opens the gates to the water works.

“It's okay. Shh, it's okay.” They stay like that for a while. I feel like I'm the intruder now. Mom has to let go of Tex so she can cough.

“Claire,” Dad says, the sharp tone back in his voice.

“I'm coming, I'm coming. I hope I didn't give you any of my germs.”

“Who cares?” Tex sniffs. Mom gives her another squeeze.

“Bye, Tex. Thank you for being such a good friend to Ava. I'm glad she has you.”

Tex wipes her eyes and nods. Dad takes Mom back to bed and Tex blows her nose.

“I can't believe I did that. I'm such an ass. She's the one who's...” She can't finish the rest.

“I know. I feel that way every single day. She's always the one comforting me and it should be the other way around.” We both sit back on the couch and Tex tries to get herself under control.

“I'm sorry I'm such a bitch most of the time. I don't mean to be.”

“I know. It's a defense mechanism.” She gives me a look. “Peter's been all over the psychology textbooks. I guess it rubbed off on me.”

“So what are you going to do?”

“About what?”

“Everything.” She doesn't want to say 'when your mom dies,' but that's what she means.

“Honestly, I don't know. I'm still trying to get through every day. Even if I didn't have the whole Peter and Di thing, I still wouldn't know what to do. I don't think you can prepare for something like this.”

“So the book was a bad idea?”

“I would have tried really hard to pretend I liked it.”

“You're not a very good actress.”

“Yeah, I'm aware.” She gives me another hug and gets up.

“I think I'm gonna go home with Viktor. He's good at this stuff. Hey V, I'm going to the car,” she says the last part not to me, but to the noctalis upstairs.

“V?”

“Yeah, don't you think it sounds sexy?”

Not really. “Sure. Why not?”

She beams at my white lie. Maybe I'm getting better at it.

Jamie calls me later that night as I'm doing more homework with Peter.

“She's gone, Ava.” His voice is both robotic and full of pain at the same time.

“Brooke?” I sit up and stretch my neck. Ugh, I shouldn't have stayed in that position.

“She left with Helena to find Di,” Peter says.

“Thanks for telling me, you jerk,” I say, glaring at him. “You have to stop doing that.”

“You were concerned about Claire. I did not want to worry you.”

“You have to stop doing that,” I say.

“Ave?” Jamie says.

“Sorry, Jamie. I'm so sorry. Do you know when they'll be back?” They probably won't be coming back alone.

“She just left. I miss her so much, it hurts.”

“I'm so sorry.” I know he's better off. My life would be better off if Peter wasn't in it, but my soul and my heart wouldn't be. I can't judge his love if he isn't judging mine.

“They will be back,” Peter says. “It is time.”

I take a deep breath. “Don't worry, Jamie. It'll be okay. Okay?”

“I hope so. I just want her back.”

“I know, I know.”

We are all chasing after the ones we love.

Twenty-Four

Brooke

“So what's your story? You're obviously old,” I said to Helena as we ran. We'd crossed the border into Vermont a few minutes ago.

“Thanks for rubbing it in, kid. You're what, five seconds old?”

“Sixteen,” I said. Well, was I? How did you count your age when you were immortal? I would be sixteen forever, but the years would still pass me by.

“Fifteen,” Helena sang. She looked it. “I wish you would trust me, Brooke. I'm a very good secret keeper,” she said as we stopped next to a lake.

Quicker than I could, she had her clothes off and dove into the water. If I knew anything about Helena, I knew that she loved water. Anytime we were near a body of it that was deeper than a puddle, her clothes were off and she was in. The first time she'd transformed, I'd challenged her to an underwater race. She'd beaten me badly and hadn't let me live it down yet. She flipped water at me as I sat on a rock and let my wings come out. They didn't get wet, exactly, but they were useless in the water.

“You're no fun. Secrets are fun.”

I didn't know why I wouldn't tell her about Ivan. She'd been trying since the second we met to tell me about Ivan. Reading between the lines, they thought I was here to destroy Ava. Honestly, I didn't know why I was here. Ivan and I had settled into a strange sort of life of feeding, lying in the sun and having lots of sex. We did what we wanted and took what we wanted. It was a heady and overwhelming time. I knew he didn't love me, because every now and then he would look off in the distance and I could tell he was thinking about another girl. Either Josie or Ava. They followed him like ghosts, haunting him every moment he was with me.

“You should go see her,” I said one day after we had fed. We were both naked and lying on top of a fallen tree in the middle of a secluded clearing. I didn't even remember what state we were in.

“See who?”

“Ava.”

“Why?”

“Because you love her.”

“I don't love her. I could love her. There is a difference, Brooke.”

“Still. You should go see her.”

Ivan got to his feet, on his guard. I smelled it a second after he did. There was another noctalis here.

“Who is it?” I said.

“My brother. Go downwind three miles and stay there. I have to run to meet him so he won't smell you. I will tell you when you can come back.”

“The one who loves Ava?” I asked.

“Go. Don't ask questions.” Ivan never gave me orders, so I knew it was important. The brother could not hurt me, but there was some reason Ivan did not want him to know about me. I would have to find out.

I ran exactly three miles downwind from him, making sure my scent wouldn't blow toward them. I had to keep moving as the wind shifted, but I treated it as a game. It was only ten minutes later when Ivan found me.

“Good job, Brooke. You are very good at hiding. I thought he would smell you, but he didn't.”

“Was that the brother who is with Ava?”

“No. This was Viktor. My other brother, Peter, is with Ava.”

“Are you close?” I thought I knew the answer.

“No.” He kept looking at the woods, as if he heard something I could not.

“What is it?”

“I have to go.”

I was confused. “Go where?”

“To Maine. To see Ava. My mother, Di, is intent on destroying her.” He reached out and broke a tree in anger. I had never seen him upset. I didn’t really understand it. I didn't get upset anymore.

“How can you help?”

“It is complicated and a story that would take too long to tell. I can't let anything happen to her, lover.”

“Why?”

He looked over his shoulder, as if he wanted to be gone already. “That is another long story, Brooke.”

“Can I come with you?”

“No. You will stay here.”

“Why?”

His eyes narrowed and his human form rippled into his noctalis form for a moment. “Why do you have to ask so many questions? Just do what I tell you, love. It will be so much easier.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

I did not want him to leave me. I had not been scared since I became immortal, but thinking about not being with him gave me a feeling I did not like. It was unpleasant and I wanted it to go away.

“Brooke, I will be back in a day. I want you to be safe. Will you stay here and be safe? Can you promise me that?” I would just promise him and then follow him. That seemed easy enough.

“I promise.” The air around us jolted with something, and my hair moved with it. It was like something invisible had settled over my skin. I looked down, but didn't see anything. The sensation was gone as soon as I felt it.

“Thank you. I will leave now. Take care, love. Remember to feed.”

He kissed my cheek and that was the last time I saw him.

Twenty-Five

Peter

The next day Claire is too sick to leave her bed, and Sam takes her to the doctor's. Ava goes to school, but her thoughts are distracted all day. She didn't want to go, but Claire begs her to.

“How can I say no to her?” she says, trying to hide her red eyes under lots of eye makeup. “I just... I'm just so scared. This wasn't supposed to happen now. It was supposed to happen months from now. Not now,” she says, trying to get her emotions under control. I send her as much positive energy as I can, but it isn't much, because her despair is so heavy over both of us. It weighs us down like a chain, dragging us down. “And what about Helena and Brooke? They're going to find Di and what if they bring her back? What will we do —” I put my finger to her lips to stop her verbal torrent. Her thoughts are rushing like a river that I wish I could dam.

“I will be with you. Every second.”

“I wish that made me feel better.” She instantly feels guilt for saying it, afraid I would be offended. I am not.

“I wish it, too.” I wish it more than anything else.

I stay as close to the school building as I can, lying low under windows and up against walls. When she has classes on the top floors of buildings, I go there as well. I follow her as close as I can without going inside. Her thoughts come to me, scattered, scared, lost. I have been able to read her mind almost completely the entire day. I haven't told her. She is not doing well. Her heart races and slows in a way that worries me. The stress is starting to take a toll on her body. I keep watch on her body rhythms, making sure that she doesn't have a panic attack or something worse.

She runs out of the school building at lunch and I grab her arm, pulling her into my chest. She doesn't say anything, and I don't either. I hold her until she takes a deep breath, her entire body shaking.

“She's been admitted, but I don't know anything else. I've texted Dad, but he hasn't messaged me back. I don't know what to do.”

“No news is good news,” I say, using a phrase I picked up recently.

“I want to kill every single one of them. It's so hard not to. I just want them all to die.” I know. I've seen the images in her head of blood, death and fire. They do not disturb me, but they do her. I wish I could push them away and give her beautiful images of mountains, beaches and sunshine.

“I wish I had something better to say. We will see her this afternoon.” She nods against my chest.

“Are you okay?” Texas is right behind us with Viktor. Ava hasn't told her about her mother yet.

“My mom's not doing well. I just don't know what to do.”

“What the hell are you doing here?”

“She asked me to go to school. How could I say no?”

Texas looks at Ava, as if she wants to say something. I catch Viktor's eye, but he is concentrating on Texas. She swallows and reconsiders.

“There are some times when you have to listen to your parents. When they tell you go to bed or eat your vegetables or not try to do gymnastics on the couch because you'll break your grandmother's lamp that she brought all the way from her honeymoon in Europe, you listen. This is not one of those times. If it was my mother, I'd be there. I know she and I don't get along that well, but she's my mom and I love her. We don't have half the connection you guys do. So get your ass to that hospital right now. I don't want to see your face back here. Go.” She points to the parking lot.

For a moment, Ava imagines breaking Texas' neck, but then she dives at her, giving her a crushing hug. “I love you, Texas Sarsaparilla Anne Hamilton. I freaking love you. Keep an eye on Jamie.”

“I know. I love you, too. Tell Claire I said hi and get better. Viktor and I will take care of Jamie.”

Ava grabs my hand and marches to her car, resolved.

“I don't know why it took someone else to tell me it's okay for it to be okay. I shouldn't need Tex to tell me that. I should be ballsy enough to do it on my own. I feel like I'm not myself anymore. I don't know this girl I've become.” She starts the car and pulls out of the lot without looking back.

“I do. She's the exact same girl that met me in the cemetery that night and kept coming back even though I told her I would kill her. She's the girl I adore. She's you.”

“You always say the right thing. I think you come up with this stuff ahead of time and then whip it out when I need it. I love you.” She's said it several times today.

She breaks a few driving laws getting to the hospital, but there are no police around. I take her hand as we walk into the hospital.

“I have no idea where she'd be. Last time she came she was in the ER, but they've probably moved her to a room by now.”

She goes up to the desk and asks for her mother's room.

“Are you Ava?” the young nurse in yellow scrubs asks.

“Yes. Could you tell me where she is?”

“Sure, sweetheart. She's in room 203. Just down the hall and hang a left,” she says, pointing.

“Thank you,” Ava says, rushing down the hallway to the room. She pauses for a second outside the door and takes a deep breath. I try to let go of her hand, but she won't let me.

“I need you,” she says, so we walk in the room together. Claire is propped on a hospital bed, her eyes closed, and a heart monitor softly beeping next to her. There is an IV in her arm as well and oxygen line in her nose.

“Ava? What are you doing here?” Sam is slumped over in a chair, his head resting on one of his hands.

“I had to come and see her,” she says, her chin rising in anticipation of his disapproval. He rubs his eyes, trying to become fully awake. He looks at Claire before turning his attention back to Ava.

“I'm not happy, but I understand. I knew you'd be here by the end of the day. Do you need a note?”

“No, I already forged one,” Ava says, her tension easing the tiniest bit.

“Clever girl,” Sam says with a brief smile. “Looks like you're a partner in crime, Peter.”

“Your daughter can be very persuasive,” I say. Sam chuckles.

“She can. So can her mother.” He brushes Claire's arm.

“How is she?” Ava asks.

“Looks like she had a cold that's turned into pneumonia. They've got her on antibiotics and we'll see. They want to keep her here.” I get out the only other available chair for Ava and stand next to it.

“Do you want to sit, Peter? I'm sure they can get another chair.”

“I'm fine, thank you.” The hum of the hospital is loud to me. I am not used to it. In addition, I get every single thought from Ava's head. There is a lot of noise that I want to quiet, but I will put up with it for her.

Nurses rush to and fro, their soft shoes barely making any noise on the linoleum. One pauses in the doorway and comes in, first pumping hand sanitizer into her palms.

“How are we doing? Well, this must be Ava.” The woman is thirtyish, slim and has a warm smile. Her blood smells warm and full. Healthy.

“Hi,” Ava says.

“I'm Jenna, your mom's day nurse. And who is this handsome young man?”

“This is Peter,” Ava says, but in her head she's laughing at the woman calling me a young man.

“Well, well,” Jenna says, moving to the machinery hooked up to Claire. We did not have the medical technology they have now when I was alive. It is a marvel what humans are able to accomplish. I am astonished by it all the time.

She wakes Claire by gently rubbing her shoulder.

“Wake up, darling. Just gotta check your vitals.” Claire rouses slowly, pulling at the oxygen tube.

“Whoa, don't mess with that,” Jenna says, taking her hands away. Claire's eyes open and she looks startled for a moment. Like a child.

“What? Oh, Ava. What time is it?”

“It's twelve-thirty sleeping beauty. Can you go ahead and lift that arm for me?” Claire lifts her arm and Jenna starts to take her blood pressure.

“You should be in school.”

“There are some things that are more important than school. Besides, I'm almost done.”

“I should be a mean mommy and make you go back.”

“But you're not going to,” Ava finishes, and Jenna laughs.

“I see the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Your mother is just as stubborn. She put up quite a fuss about getting this IV in.”

Claire blushes, and for a second, I see Ava's face on hers. They are so much alike.

“Looks good. I'll be back in a few hours, okay? Your lunch should be here soon, too.”

“I'm not hungry,” Claire says.

“Well, see how you feel. Nice to meet you, Ava and Peter.”

“Nice to meet you,” Ava says, although she doesn't feel that it is nice at all.

“Do you need a chair, handsome?” she says with a wink.

“I am fine.”

“Such a gentleman,” she says, touching my arm. Jenna is not put off by me at all and smiles at me as if I was a human boy giving my girlfriend my support as her mother battles cancer. Her energy is warm and giving. Infectious.

Jenna leaves and returns with a chair for me, which I take from her and sit, thanking her before she leaves.

Claire tries to sit up, but her arms are so weak that she can't, so Sam helps her.

“I hate that you're all taking care of me.”

“Don't be ridiculous, Claire. That's what we're here for. You have to stop trying to do so much,” Sam says, brushing her balding head. He smiles at her as if she's his whole world. I wish I could smile at Ava the same way.

“I just hate to be a burden.”

“You can't love a burden. And you're much too cute to be a burden.” Sam kisses her head and she sighs, but it turns into a cough.

Ava grips my hand tightly, her heart racing. I pump as much calm as I can muster. I shut everything else out but her and push her worries and negative feelings away. I think of sunlight, laughing with her and every good moment we've had so far together.

Her body relaxes just a bit and she lies back in the chair. Sam yawns, his jaw cracking with the effort.

“I think I'm going to get some coffee. Does anyone need anything?” Ava shakes her head and I respond that I am fine. Sam gives Claire a wink before leaving the room, pulling the sliding curtain behind him.

“I don't know what I did to deserve the two of you, but whatever lottery I won, I'm glad I did.” Ava gives her a light hug, trying not to jostle any of the tubes. “Come on up here, I can make room. You don't mind, do you, Peter?”

“Not at all.” I've never had so many people concerned with how I feel about things. It is both strange and pleasing.

Claire scoots over and Ava climbs into the bed next to her on the opposite side of all the tubes and equipment. Ava lays her head on Claire's shoulder and closes her eyes. She's thinking that this can't be it. This can't be the end. That there should be more time. That it isn't fair. That she isn’t going to be strong enough. That she will break into a million little pieces that will blow away in the wind. I steal Sam's chair so I can sit next to her with my hand on her ankle so I can touch her skin.

“You'd better be careful with that hand when my husband gets back. I might not take exception to it, but he will.”

“Mom, he's touching my ankle. I'm pretty sure no one has ever gotten pregnant from that.”

Claire sighs, coughing again. “True.” She lies with Ava for a while. Sam takes his time getting coffee, giving them time. I stay still, trying to blend into the furniture.

“I still know you're there,” Ava says, turning her head toward me. “I don't know how I know that. I could just feel you thinking it.”

“Now you're reading my mind.”

“Maybe. Maybe I just know you really well.”

“That's what love is,” Claire says.

Sam walks in a moment later with a Styrofoam cup and a muffin.

“This was all I could find in the kitchen, but if you want, I can go down to the cafe later and get you something else.”

“No, it's fine.”

Ava takes the muffin and though she doesn't want to eat it, she starts pulling off the top and tearing it into little pieces. Ava always tears her muffins apart before eating them. So many little things to adore about her.

Sam takes a sip of coffee. He takes his black, and the coffee is so old that it is quite potent. He winces before swallowing. “I was thinking that it seems foolish for you to stay in school for the rest of the year. It's only, what? Threeish weeks?”

“Yeah.”

“Exactly. You're not going to miss anything if you get out now. You've finished your exams, right?”

She hasn't, but she says, “Pretty much.” She sends a mental plea for my help and I squeeze her ankle in response. I can forge her writing on anything if need be. I also write faster than she does.

“You'll have plenty of time for school later.”

Ava is shocked by his change of attitude. She is also scared by it. If he is willing to let her stop going to school, it means that Claire is really sick. She wants to ask how bad it is and get a real answer, but she doesn't want to do it in front of Claire.

“Exactly,” Ava says, snuggling closer to Claire. “Exactly.

Ava

As soon as I can, I find a bathroom to throw up in. I remember back when they told me she was terminal and I threw up. That was the same night I met Peter. This time when I throw up, he holds my hair. I'm adding that to the Peter Love list.

“Sorry,” I say out of habit. I seem to be apologizing for anything and everything lately. I'm just such a mess and I'm mad at myself for making him spend so much damn time with me. The Claiming is a burden. I am a burden.

“You're not,” he says, wetting a paper towel and wiping my forehead. I'm so upset and stressed that he's getting all my thoughts clear as a bell. It's such small potatoes at this point that I don't even give a shit.

He helps me to my feet and hands me a glass of water. We're in the handicap bathroom down the hall from Mom's room. We've been here for hours, and soon Dad's going to make me go home. I don't want to leave her.

“I can get you here in four minutes, if need be. Just think of that,” he says, wiping the back of my neck with the cool towel. He follows it with his lips, which are just as nice.

“I just want to go away. Go somewhere else.”

“I know. I would take you anywhere you wanted to go, but she needs you. Your father needs you.”

“I know, I know.” My stomach hurts, my head hurts and my heart hurts, but I know deep down that I'm whining and being a snotty teenager. I need to suck it up. I roll my shoulders back, take a deep breath and swish my mouth out.

“Okay, I'm good. I think.” I stare at my face in the mirror and meet Peter's eyes. He smiles.

“That's my girl.” My heart flutters at his smile. It's better than any happy pill I could take. I know he's struggling with my emotions. I'm sorry for that, but there's nothing I can do. We're going to have to carry this together.

“I really need a toothbrush,” I say, running my tongue on my teeth. Yuck.

“I'll be right back,” he says, sliding through the door and coming back seconds later with a boosted toothbrush and toothpaste.

“Thanks, baby.”

“Anytime.”

Mom and Dad are laughing when Peter and I get back to the room. Flowers and cards are already arriving, and Aj called a couple of times, offering to come down. She says she's not coming until tomorrow, but I'm pretty sure she's on the way, judging by how distracted she was when I talked to her an hour ago, and the fact that I could hear highway noise.

“What's so funny?” I say, motioning for Peter to sit in the chair so I can sit in his lap. He does it, and I prop my feet on Mom's bed.

“Your father was just talking about our honeymoon. Did I ever tell you that on our honeymoon we got attacked by a family of raccoons?”

“Uh, no. Why haven't I heard this story?”

“Well, it was so stupid. We went out for a hike around the island and someone named your father forgot to close the door all the way. When we got back there were at least five raccoons tearing through all our food. I can't remember what you used to shoo them away.”

“It was that broken chair we had on the porch, remember?”

“He was like a lion tamer, trying to get them to go out the back door. I'll never forget the way they hissed and ran around. Of course I was screaming one second and then laughing the next.” Mom starts to laugh again, and tears roll down her face. Dad gets up and does a reenactment for us, and I start giggling. Soon we're all laughing so hard we can't breathe. Well, except for Peter. He does make a really good effort. Gold star.

Dinner arrives for Mom, and Peter and I go down to the cafeteria to get some food. He helps me carry the trays back up and when we walk into the room, Tex and Viktor are there.

“Hey, we just thought we'd stop by and say hi.” They're holding hands and Tex has a strange look on her face. Like she's about ready to explode and shoot rainbows everywhere. Like she just saw a unicorn and got to pet it. I think I know what that look is for, but I really, really can't deal with that right now.

“I know how much you love your tulips, so I thought I'd bring your garden to you,” Tex says, gesturing to a bouquet of baby yellow tulips in a pink vase.

“Thank you, Tex. That was so thoughtful. Thank you for the card as well, and thank your parents for me.”

“I will,” she says, and her happy face falls for a second as she glances at all the tubes, wires and equipment Mom is strapped to. Tex doesn't do well with hospitals. They totally freak her out. I don't know why, because she's never had to stay in one and all her parents and grandparents are alive.

Viktor takes up most of the room. Today his wardrobe consists of black skinny jeans, which he somehow manages to make masculine, and a Pink Floyd t-shirt.

“It's nice to meet you, Viktor, although I wish it were under better circumstances. Still, I've heard so much about you and it's nice to put a face with a name,” Mom says.

“I have heard much about you as well, and I can see where Ava gets her beauty and her spirit from.” Mom blushes at the compliment. Yeah, he's that charming. Dad looks a little uncomfortable.

“Well, we don't want to intrude. I'll see you later, Ava. Nice to see you, Mr. and Mrs. Sullivan. I hope you get better soon. Bye.” Viktor echoes Tex’s sentiments and leaves.

Peter and I pull up another of the rolling trays, and we all settle in for a family dinner.

“I don't want to be rude, but are you adopted?” Dad asks.

“Yes, all my brothers are. My mother was unable to have children of her own.”

“Oh, I see. Was it difficult for her to adopt as a single mother?”

“She is a lawyer. She has ways of getting what she wants.” Okay, so the first part isn't true, but the second is.

“Are you sure you're not hungry? I'm sure there are plenty of gluten-free and lactose-free options.”

“I will eat when I get home. My mother is very strict about family meals.” Dad is clearly puzzled by the fact that Peter never eats with us, but he has other things on his mind.

“That fruit looks really nice.”

“I'm not that hungry,” Mom says. Understatement of the year. She's barely touched anything. She refuses to eat Jell-O, just like me. The texture of that stuff makes my gag reflex go crazy.

“Claire, you have to eat something.”

“I'll have some later.”

She puts her fork down and pushes the tray away. I glance at Dad, waiting for him to fight her on it, but he doesn't. He sits back and takes a bite of his burger. I munch my salad and Peter watches. We're quiet for the rest of dinner, and soon it's time for me to go home. Dad is going to stay until visiting hours are over for the night. I don't want to leave her, but I'm not going to have a hissy fit. It's juvenile and Mom doesn't need that. So I kiss her on the cheek and say I'll be back in the morning. She tells me to get some sleep and that she loves me.

“Love you more,” I say.

“Not possible,” she says.

I watch her face until we leave the room. I think I'm going to break again, but Peter is there to hold me up and keep me together.

“You're my glue,” I say when we get in my car. He puts me in the passenger seat without even consulting me. I should be angry, but I like this take-charge Peter much more than mean Peter or just-say-no Peter.

When we get to the house, Aj's car is already there. I walk in the door on tiptoes and flash the lights. “The good silver is in the china cabinet. Take it and go.”

“You know that silver is fake, right?” she says, coming out from the kitchen.

“How did you get in?”

“I can't imagine. Could it be the hide-a-key under that fake rock in the garden?”

I narrow my eyes. “How did you know about that? It's supposed to be a secret.”

“I have my ways,” she says, pretending to twirl a mustache. “I see you've got your shadow with you.”

“Yeah, we're pretty much a packaged deal. Right, baby?”

“Right.”

“I never thought I'd see the day when my independent niece would go crazy for a boy. You must be pretty special to keep this one in line.”

“He is,” I say.

“I don't,” he says in response to the second part. “I would never want to tame her.”

“Good. That's what I like to hear. So, who wants dinner?”

“We already ate at the hospital.”

“Really? Damn, I made a crap ton of mac and cheese. Granted, it's from a box, but it's organic.” Aj can't cook, so this is really something.

“Well, in that case.” I hear a loud truck about a mile away. “What's Jamie doing here?”

“Aw, I miss Jamie. I haven't seen him in forever,” Aj says, going to the stove to stir what I hope is the mac and cheese. She turns, snapping her fingers. “Damn, I forgot about your lactose intolerance. Sorry.”

“It's fine. I have already eaten.”

Jamie's truck finally pulls into the driveway and dies. Aj frowns, looking out the window at the pickup.

“Did you know he was coming?” she asks.

“No.” Where is she going with this?

Her eyes narrow. “Then how did you know he was coming?”

“I heard his truck.” Aj looks at me, puzzled. Damn, I shouldn't have said anything. “You know, it's really loud,” I say as I go to the door to let him in.

“Hey, James. How's it going?”

He still has his hands in his pockets. I go to give him a hug, but he lets go fast.

“Dude, what happened to your hand?” Aj says, pointing to a white bandage around Jamie's left hand.

“I was walking and I fell. Had a klutzy moment.” He won't meet my eyes.

“Jamie?”

He looks up and then glances at Peter. I look back and forth at them as they share a moment. Oh shit, she bit him. I want to go ballistic on him, but Aj is here, and I can't drag one more human into this mire.

“Bummer.”

“At least I don't need my hands to run,” he says. I open my mouth to ask him something, but shut it. His heart is already broken. Why drive the knife in deeper?

No wonder she left.

“No, but you need them to block a punch!” Aj fakes a punch at his stomach and he grabs her arm. They have a little struggle, but end up laughing, even though Jamie's dies quickly and his face goes back to sad Jamie. “Not bad. Remember when I used to kick your ass?”

He scoffs as we walk into the living room. “I'm pretty sure that never happened.”

“Oh, it did. I have pictorial evidence.” Jamie rolls his eyes and tugs on his ear, putting his hands in his pockets again.

“So there's a reason I came. I... heard your mom was in the hospital, so I brought these,” he says, going to the porch and retrieving a box. Instead of getting a bouquet, he has a box with a tulip bulb in it.

“I know you hate it when flowers die. This way you can plant it.” The flower on the cover of the box is pure white. “White is supposed to be for purity and healing. I think. I don't know, I think I read that somewhere.”

“Thank you,” I say, swallowing the ball of tears in my throat.

“I also have this.” He pulls a card out of his back pocket. “Don't open it now.”

“Okay.”

There's a pause. Aj fills it.

“So, are you hungry? I have enough mac and cheese for an army, or for a Jamie Barton.”

I think he's going to protest that he shouldn't intrude, but he doesn't.

“Thanks.”

Aj beams, happy to have someone to cook for.

“So how's Claire?” Aj asks. I give her the update as she fills a plate with mac and cheese, green beans and corn for Jamie.

They try to look upbeat, but they know as well as I do that pneumonia isn't good. Her immune system is so compromised that her body just doesn't have the will to fight. But I'm not thinking about that at this particular moment.

“So, Jamie, is there a special lady in your life? I thought I saw a twinkle in your eye.” Aj prods him with her finger, raising her eyebrows suggestively.

“Yeah, there is. But she's away right now.”

“Oh no. When is she coming back?” Aj asks.

“I'm not sure if she is.” He puts his fork down and absentmindedly rubs the gauze on his hand.

“What happened there?”

“Her mom keeps moving them around.”

“I'm sorry, that sucks.”

Jamie meets my eyes and I give him a sad smile. I go over and rest my head on his shoulder.

“Whatever will be, will be,” I say, altering Rasha's quote a little.

“Isn't that from a song?” Jamie says.

“It sounds like it, doesn't it?” I say. Maybe it is.

Jamie stays a little bit longer, talking about everything at school I've missed. It's nice to talk about stupid teenage things for a few minutes. Normally I don’t want to hear about how everyone else's lives are normal and mine isn’t, but I need it now.

“So then Macey walked up to Sarah and threw a bottle of Gatorade right in her face.”

“Seriously? What color was it?”

“Red. So she looked like she was covered in blood.” At the word blood, he flinches involuntarily.

“Jamie, I don't know if it's best that she comes back,” I say, glancing back at Aj to make sure she can't hear. She's busy in the kitchen with her iPod in her ears, jamming out to Mumford and Sons, probably.

“I know what she did was wrong, but can you say Peter's never done the same thing?”

No, I can't. I'm a hypocrite. The reasons he should stay away from Brooke are the same reasons I should stay away from Peter, but I don't. So I don't have a leg to stand on.

“Well, he never chewed on my hand, but he did leave me with this,” I say, showing my neck. There is the tiniest red mark. “And this,” I say, sliding off the wide bracelet I wear to cover up my wrist wound. “It's the price you pay for hanging out with a bloodsucker. It's like being in love with a giant mosquito.”

“Nice, Ave.”

I shrug one shoulder. “It's true.”

“I'm not mad at her. I've tried to tell her a million times that I don't care. It's not her fault that she can't control it. She is what she is, and I can't change that and neither can she. Did I tell you what she did to my dad?”

“No.” This is the first I'm hearing about it.

He shakes his head and tells me how his Dad got drunk one afternoon and Brooke beat him up. Well, she didn't exactly beat him up, but she gave him a good scare. I guess it worked. Jamie says he's been going to work every day and helping around the house. He even went out and bought a brand new crib for Cassie's baby.

“Brooke said he needed a wake-up call. I guess he did. I just hope it lasts.” He's been disappointed so many times in the past. “But at least he's still with me.” He doesn't say alive, but that's what he means. At least he still has a father. Even if he's an ass.

“Is there anything I can do? I'm not sure what that would be, but I'm here. All you have to do is ask,” he says.

“I don't know, Jamie. I just want it to go away. I just want it to stop. I want to go back in time, or to change my life, or something.”

“I'm so sorry for you, Ave. If I could change it, I would.”

“I know.” He rubs my hand with his. “I love you.”

“I love you. I'm only a phone call away. I can get in my truck at 3 a.m. if I have to. Anytime. Anywhere.”

“Thanks.” I give him a hug, and he picks me up off my feet, spinning me around. It's been so long since he did that.

“We need a Miller's date soon.”

“Absolutely. As soon as possible.”

He gives me a kiss on the cheek and then leaves, his truck sputtering down the road.

“He is a good friend. I am glad you have good humans in your life.”

“I'm glad I have good immortals, too.”

Twenty-Five

Brooke

“So who are we trying to find?”

“Di. She was the one who found me and brought me to the man that changed me. I need to convince her to stop being a bitch, basically.” She'd told me about binds and how they worked. Ivan hadn't, and I didn't understand why. He'd made two binds with me, and if I hadn't followed them, I would have died. Or re-died. I wasn't sure how that worked exactly. Since I didn't have a beating heart, I wasn't alive. But I could walk and talk, so what did that make me? When I thought of 'undead,' I thought of zombies. I definitely didn't lurch around and hunger for brains. Blood, hell yes.

“And what will we do once we find her?” I said, sitting down on a rock.

The desert stretched out in front of us, endless and red, like it was on fire. It had nothing on New Hampshire. I should have been more excited, but I didn't really get excited anymore. Although, the world was both a more beautiful and ugly place since I'd become immortal, I was still trying to make sense of it all.

“Try and convince her to stop being insane,” she said.

I was frustrated with Helena because she didn't tell me anything. When she asked if I wanted to come, I thought the trip would be a distraction from Jamie. In reality, nothing would have distracted me from Jamie. He existed in my mind, as if he'd colonized part of it and wouldn't give it up. I thought about his hair, his voice, his blood, his smile, his arms, and everything else. I wanted to go back, but I couldn't. I had to stay away. He was just too much of a temptation. His blood was too much of a temptation. If only I could change him, and then we could be together, but I didn't think he'd want that. I couldn't take his mortality from him, no matter how much I wanted to spend my immortality with him.

“How do you intend to do that?”

“I'm not really sure yet. I've had how many years to think about it?”

Helena told me about the saga between her and Di. In my opinion, Di was a lost cause. Clearly, she had been going down a crooked path for so long she probably couldn't find her way back, even if she wanted to. I didn't tell Helena that. Who was I to judge?

Helena stopped and stared at the sky. “I can't believe I'm nervous. I don't remember the last time I was nervous.”

“I don't remember being nervous,” I said. Except for when I thought about hurting Jamie, maybe. That was more panic than nervous.

“It feels like my life is going to end,” she said, breaking a tree limb and crushing it in her hands. I knew what she meant.

“Did you make a binding promise?”

“Yeah. No, I won't tell you what it is.”

“Why not?”

“Because. That's why.”

That wasn't a reason, but I wasn't going to push it. The truth was I didn't care that much. Once I was done with her and all this, I was going to move on. Go somewhere else. Anywhere else.

“Whatever,” I said. “How do you know where she is?” I decided a subject change was in order.

“I don't know. I'm just following a hunch.”

“And where does your hunch lead you?”

Helena scented the air, considering. “I'm not sure yet.

Twenty-Six

Peter

That night I finish Ava's coursework for her. Most of what she has is done. At least I didn't have to write her English essays, because I'm not sure I could get her voice quite right, but I did her math, finished her history paper and put the finishing touches on her French project.

Her father doesn’t get home until well after nine, and both he and Ava are restless. Her aunt is also asleep in the guest room, and she apparently has the habit of talking in her sleep. Sam doesn’t sleep at all, instead staying up and typing on his computer. I hear him talking to himself. Ava has the nightmare again, and I try to send good dreams to her, just to see if I can. It works for a moment, but then the anxiety takes over. It is harder in her sleep to keep her mind positive.

Claire is dying. She knows it and I know it. Sam and Ava know it, too, but they are still holding out hope. I had a moment with Claire in the hospital. She looked at me and smiled, as if we shared something. I guess we do. I died and she is about to. Except her soul is still intact, while mine was given away and couldn't be taken back.

I picture Claire's soul like a butterfly, floating away on a breeze. Effortless and beautiful. I send the image to Ava, but it's wiped away by the image of Claire and I burning in green fire.

I'm not sure if I believe in heaven. Maybe a place where souls go. A garden where they all gather like bubbles, different colors dancing and playing with one another. Maybe it's true, maybe it isn't. I will never know. If Ava has her way, she will never know. She won't get a heaven, but I'll get mine. My heaven is her. Nothing could be greater than spending the rest of my earthly time with Ava. Nothing.

Ava

In the morning when I wake, Dad is already at the hospital and Aj is attempting pancakes.

“I don't know why they're falling apart,” she moans, as she tries to flip the pancake soup she's somehow made. “I made it just like the package says.” She points the spatula at the box in frustration.

“You have to add less water. I don't know why they say that on the package, but it's total crap.” I find the bowl of mix and toss in some more of the powdered mix. I stir it a few times, making sure not to do it too much so the pancakes won’t be tough.

“I'm going to go pick up Peter. I'll be right back,” I say. I wish I could just tell her that Peter spent the night and be done with it, but I know she'll tell Dad and then that will open a whole can of worms I don’t need to open at the moment.

“Doesn't he have a life?”

“He does. He just puts things on hold for me. He loves me.” I swallow past the lump that forms in my throat when I say it.

“Well, clearly. Any guy who will spend the entire day in the hospital with you and eat crappy hospital food is a keeper. Even if he's a little strange. You're aware that he's strange, right?”

“It's part of what I love about him,” I say, tossing my keys in the air and catching them.

I go down the driveway and wait ten minutes. Normally this would be make-out time for me and Peter, but we don't do that today. It feels wrong. I just climb over the console and lie in his lap in the passenger seat.

“We haven't done everything on the list.”

“That wasn't the point of it.”

“But we were going to take her to the island, and she was going to see Paris and Europe. She had a million things, and we haven't done them all. We should have done more. I should have been more careful with the stupid house. If I'd kept it cleaner, or not let all those people in —”

Peter puts his finger to my lips, silencing me.

“You cannot play this game. You will go crazy with thinking about what could have been. I spent a whole week outside my parents’ house in New York, watching my mother and sisters and imagining that I was with them. If I had gotten in the lifeboat, if I hadn't met Di. You cannot do it; it serves no purpose but to make you doubt the things that have already happened.”

“I know,” I say around his fingers, but I can’t stop thinking about the things that should have been. We thought we had so much time. The tulips are just about ready to bloom. I close my eyes and wish that she'd be able to see them. Even if it is the last time. She has to see them.

Mom is about the same when we get there after eating Aj's watery pancakes. Well, she and I eat and Peter watches. She came with us, but takes her own car so she can go back to the house and take care of things there. She and Mom exchange hugs, and one of the nurses brings in more chairs.

“We've got quite a group going on here,” she says. I'm pretty sure it's in the nurse job description to be painfully nice and call everyone 'sweetie,' even the adults that are probably older than they are.

“How you doing?” Aj says, flopping into the chair. She'll be out of it in a few seconds. Aj hates sitting around.

“I'm doing okay. I just really want to go home. I haven't been able to get much sleep.”

“I bet.”

They go on to talk about the tests Dr. Young ordered and how her lungs are looking and all that. I just sit in Peter's lap and try not to listen to it. The words are meaningless. All they add up to is the fact that she's not getting better. That's she's probably not going to get better.

“Knock, knock,” someone says. They keep doing that. Obviously, the only thing separating us from the hallway is that ugly curtain that anyone can pull back when they feel like it. Hospital rooms are very exposed. Privacy is not a consideration.

The woman that comes around the curtain isn't a nurse and she's not a doctor.

“Well, don't you have a lot of fans,” she says with that patented 'I care about you' smile. I swear, they must test them on this, because they're all good at it.

“I'm Lisa. I'm the hospital social worker. Do you mind if I talk with you a little bit?”

“Sure. Ava, baby, could you go and see if I can get some more ice?” This is a clear ploy to get me out of the room so the grown-ups can talk. I don't like it, but I'm not going to throw a fit.

“Sure.” I get up and Peter follows me to the kitchen down the hall. As Peter is filling a plastic pitcher with ice, I lean against the counter.

“What are they talking about?”

“Are you sure you want to know?”

“What kind of a question is that?”

“I thought so. I just wanted to make sure.” He closes the freezer and sets the pitcher on the counter. “They are making arrangements.”

“I don't like the sound of that.”

“It's just in case. They still don't have anything final.” He stops and listens. “Your mother is asking to be sent home.”

“Sent home? Why would she...” Oh. Oh. “She wants to?”

“Yes. She has had enough.”

“But she's only been her for two days! How can she give up now?”

“She has been fighting for so long. She knows it is time,” Peter says in that eerily calm voice of his.

“She can't; she just can't.” All the air leaves my body and my knees decide they don't want to support me anymore, but before I can hit the floor, Peter is there. Always there to catch me. “She can't, she can't.” I say it over and over. Maybe if I say it enough, it will be true. Maybe if I...

“There is nothing you can do, baby.” He pulls me up and crushes me into his chest, as if protecting me in the cage of his arms.

“She can't, she can't.” I shake and he tries to hold me still. This can't be it.

As much as I know it is going to happen, hearing that this really is the end seals the deal. In the very back of my mind, I held out one little ray of hope that she could get better and that there would be some miracle to save her. Because if anyone deserves a miracle, it's her.

I want her to be the one to beat the odds. I want her to be special. Not like every other terminal cancer patient. Because she isn't. She's my mother and Dad's wife and a sister-in-law and a friend and a teacher and so many other things. She is the sunshine in our house. How can anyone take that away?

“Shh,” Peter says. I'm not really crying. There aren't tears. There is just a gasping, wrenching sound coming from my body as if part of me is being ripped away. In a way, part of me is.

“They're going to want to talk to you. To see how you are dealing. There will be grief counseling. You're going to have to go. I don't think they will let me come with you.”

“Fuck them. Fuck everything. Fuck God.” I hate the entire world. I just want everything to burst into flames.

“Say whatever you want. I don't mind. Put your face in my chest and scream all you want.”

I do, but all it does is make my throat hurt. I start banging my head against him, which turns into me punching him. He just stands and takes it. His face is still, which only makes me hit harder. My knuckles crack open and start to bleed, but he doesn't stop me. He just lets me go. I only stop when I can't breathe anymore.

“Anytime you need to do that, you let me know. I will be your punching bag. I will be whatever you want me to be.”

“I want you to love me. I want you to somehow make this better. But you can't. Nothing will ever work out. Nothing, nothing, nothing.”

“We need to go back.”

“I can't. I can’t.” My legs won't move.

“Ava, look at me.”

I do, and he does that thing where he pulls me in, making my brain go blank. All I see are his eyes: one green, one blue. My body stops shaking, stops freaking, just stops. I hear my heart and my blood and that's it besides the hum of the refrigerator.

“There,” he says, letting me go.

He takes my hands and gives me a zap of happy. It fizzles out quickly, but at least I'm not going to destroy anything or kill anyone. Although, if that social worker smiles at me like she's on happy pills, I might smash her face into the floor. Or maybe whack her with a bedpan. I imagine it with satisfaction.

“Okay, I'm ready.”

Twenty-Seven

Brooke

Once again, I had to hide. Helena left me in a cave in the middle of the desert while she went to find Di. She hadn't made me promise to stay, and I had no intention of doing so. She couldn't tell me what to do.

We'd left the road far behind us. No human could live out here. Helena ran quickly, but I was able to fly and catch up with her. I'd seen her mermaid tail and was convinced my wings were more useful.

Di was waiting for her under a lone tree. She looked like she was on fire, with red hair and a bright red dress that hugged her like the fabric had been wrapped around her body and then sewed to her skin.

“Helena,” Di said, as if she was both sad and surprised. Odd, I thought she was waiting here for her.

“Di. Long time no see.”

Di tipped her head to the side. “It has been a long time. You look well.”

“So do you.” There was a pause as they locked eyes. The only parts of them that moved were their hair.

“What do you want, Helen?” I'd never heard anyone call her that.

“I just wanted to see you, Diana. I just...”

“You seem to have taken to the modern language well.”

“It is easy to imitate,” Helena said, switching into her real accent. I'd heard it a few times since I'd gotten to know her. It was strange to hear her talk like a valley girl one moment and a Greek goddess the next.

“I think I can guess why you are here,” Di said, getting up and walking in a circle around Helena, brushing a strand of her long hair. “You are here about my boys.”

“Maybe I am. Maybe I missed you.”

Di laughed. “Oh, Helen, I'm not that stupid. What I don't know is how they roped you into it.”

“I am here of my own accord.”

“Of course you are. Such a sucker, Helen. You always were. Beauty and heart. Not a lot of common sense.”

Helena giggled, the sound cracking over the barren landscape like a gunshot. “You were always insulting me. Even when we were making love. Especially then.” She reached out and touched Di's shoulder.

Di looked like she wanted to give in, but she turned and walked away. “So what have you gotten them to promise you?”

“Nothing,” Helena said.

Di was surprised again. “Oh, come now. You can't get something for nothing.”

“I don't want it to go on anymore, Di. The binds... all they do is create hate. I just want there to be love.”

“So altruistic, sweet Helen. But binds can be about love, as you well know.”

“What happened to you? Why have you turned so bitter?”

A hot breeze tossed their hair around like scarves. “You made me this way. Or don't you recall?”

“If I could take it back, I would.”

“Such a liar, my Helen.”

“Remember that day when I met you? Remember after Akash changed me and we swam in the river and danced in the sun? Remember that day you painted the clouds on my skin with white paint?”

“Of course I remember. It's just not important. Don't you remember how I killed that boy you were infatuated with. What was his name? Tobias?”

“You know what his name was, Diana. Don't play that game with me. You pretend that you don't care, but I know you do, you have to. But why did you do it to them? To your boys? How could you?”

“That is my business, not yours.” Di turned and stormed away.

“Diana. I didn't come here to fight with you,” Helena's voice softened.

“You're doing a good job of it.”

Helena held up her hands in a pleading motion. “Can we just talk?”

“If you just wanted to talk, then what is she doing here?” Di points right at me. The wind must have shifted, bringing her my scent. I didn't see the point in hiding, so I came out.

“Brooke. You are not good at following directions,” Helena said.

“Not really. I don't really do what people tell me to do,” I said. It was part of what had gotten me into this immortal situation in the first place.

“Is this your new toy?”

“No. I am just here for moral support.” This was not exactly true, but it sounded good.

“Why don't I believe that? Did you bring anyone else with you? One of my lovely sons, perhaps? You may have heard, one of them was ended by a human. The very human who will end another of mine.”

“He loves her, you know? I know you made the bind that he wouldn't, but you can love more than one person at once. That was what you forgot.”

“He may love her, but he loves me more. Soon he will kill her and that will be the end of it. He will come back to me and we will be together again. I may have lost my Ivan, but my Cal will fill his place.”

“They can't fill my place, Diana. You would be gone if they had.”

Di was silent, unable to deny it.

“You left a place I couldn't fill. I need you, Diana. I miss you.” Helena touched Di's turned shoulder, and Di couldn't resist meeting her eyes.

“You didn't love me. You never did. You were obsessed with that human boy, even after you changed. I was never enough for you,” Di said.

“You were; you were enough. You are enough. I've spent every second of every day thinking about you. You know I would not be alive if I didn't love you.” Di tried to fight it, but Helena pulled on her shoulders, turning her around so their eyes could meet. “Prove it. Prove you don't love me.” Helena crushed her lips to Di's.

For a moment, Di fought her, but it was only a moment. Then she gave in.

Twenty-Eight

Ava

I don't end up killing the social worker, but I do end up freaking out and crying. I try my best not to break down in front of Mom, but when they tell me they are preparing for the worst, I kind of lose it. The social worker gives Peter her first nasty look, and I gave it right back to her. He is the only thing preventing me from going postal.

I spend as much time at the hospital as they'll let me. Flowers, cards and visitors come and go, and I ignore most of them. Tex comes again and stays for a while, making my mother have a coughing fit several times. I end up glaring at her so she'll stop being funny. Dad mentions something about Peter spending time with his own family, but he says that they understand. What he doesn't say is that I am his family. He tells me that later.

At night I rage against the unfairness and shittiness of my life. He lets me scream and beat him, and after a while I get tired enough and pass out. It's probably not a healthy way of dealing with my grief, but it's the only thing I can do right now.

Mom gets steadily worse until she gasps with every breath, even with the oxygen tube in her nose. They've tried three different antibiotics, but her body just isn't strong enough.

On Thursday, while Dad is getting coffee, she gives Peter a long look and he gets up, saying that he's going to give us a moment. I hold onto his hand, but he pulls away, giving it a kiss before he does.

I know what this means.

“Ava-Claire.”

I look at her and I feel sick. I've thrown up I don't know how many times in the past few days.

“Mommy,” I say. I haven't called her that in years, but it comes out.

“Baby, I don't want you to be scared. I said I would tell you when it was time. It's time.” She gasps after every word, so it takes her a while to get them out.

“Mommy, you can't. Not yet.” I get up and climb into bed with her, shaking with the effort of holding myself together. Any moment I'm going to fly into a million pieces.

“I fought. Not everyone wins, but I don't want to talk about that. I want you to know that I will always be with you. I may not be here, but I am always with you. You are my daughter, whether we're in this life or the next. I have to believe that whoever created us wouldn't be cruel enough to separate us.” She has to rest before she goes on.

“Daddy and I have talked a lot about this, and I want you to know that he's taking care of things. You don't need to worry about things you don't need to worry about. I want you to be young, even though you're dealing with something no young person should. You are my strong girl, you will pull through and your life will be wonderful. I gave Daddy a box of things for you. He doesn't know what's in it, but I want you to have it. They are things that are just for you. Okay?” I can't say anything, so I just nod once. I feel like I'm not in my body, but that I'm floating above us, just a spirit, watching.

“Everything I want you to know is in that box. When you need to hear my voice or know that I love you, open the box. I've also left you grandma’s jewelry and some other little things. I started putting money away for your college when you were born. There's an account in your name, and the money will be yours when you turn 18. Aj has all the paperwork for that.”

I think I hear Dad in the hallway, but then the footsteps fade. Mom closes her eyes, as if she's pulling out every reserve of energy she has.

“Be careful with your heart. I know you've given it to Peter, and I know you are tied to him, but I just want you to make sure that is what you want. If you love him and he makes you happier than you ever thought you could be, then I give my blessing to be with him. If he ever makes you sad, or upset or hurts you, he isn't the boy for you. If you decide to spend your life, or more than that with him, that is also your choice. I will support anything you do. Even if that means you become an immortal.”

That makes me sit up and look at her.

“I know. I thought a lot about it, and I'm not going to stand in the way of getting what you want. If you want to spend eternity with Peter, you can. I don't want you to live with regrets, or worry about what I would have thought. I want you to do what makes you unbelievably happy, even if it's that. It’s going to be dark for a while, but your dawn will come, and it’s going to be glorious.”

She has another coughing fit and I hand her a glass of water. She's only able to take a little sip, and it spills onto her chin. I wipe her mouth and she lies back, closing her eyes again.

“So many people don't get to say good-bye. I've been thinking about this ever since I was diagnosed. I wrote this speech a million times. I decided I wasn't going to get it right.” I sense that's the end of what she wants to say. She hugs me close, her frail body trembling.

“I love you, ma fleur. If I hadn't had you, I wouldn't have had much to live for. You are my life, and you will go on after I am gone. My Ava-Claire.”

“I love you, Mommy.” I hug her for what seems like hours, and only a few seconds because Dad is back, with a nurse right behind him.

They want to move her to a hospice, but she refuses.

“I just want to go home.”

Peter

Claire passes away the following morning in her bed with Ava, Sam and Aj standing by her bedside. I am outside under the window. There is a moment of absolute peace when I hear her breathing cease. There is a moment of pure bright silence that rings like a bell.

“I love you,” Ava and Sam say, kissing her forehead.

Ava walks out of the house and down the road without saying a word to her father. He crumples to the floor and Aj comforts him. Hot grief hits me like lightning, and I nearly stumble. Ava starts to run down the road, and I follow her.

“Just kill me, Peter. Just kill me. I can't do it.” She turns to face me, and her grief consumes me. I am breaking, but it can't be anything to what she is facing.

“You have to live for her. Even when it hurts so much you think you can't stand it.”

“I don't want to. It's too much.”

“You can handle it. You are my strong girl. You've faced down immortals. You can face this.” She just keeps shaking her head. “I am never going to leave you. Never.”

“You don't know that. Helena was supposed to find Di, but she hasn't come back. She doesn't have any incentive to help us. She probably ran off. There's nothing we can do. There's a chance that if you change me and make a bind, that it could break the bind with Di. I know that no one has told us that it would work, but I don't trust them. Everyone has something to hide, a reason to lie. Even if it doesn't break the bind, I would be invincible. She would have no way of hurting me. I could fight her. I could fight for us. And Viktor wouldn't be able to exact his revenge. It would give us time. So much time.”

“I will change you, but not now. Not today. Today is for Claire.”

I think she's going to protest, but she makes a strangled sound.

“Today is for her,” Ava says.

Twenty-Nine

Ava

We have the funeral that weekend. I had no idea how many people Mom knew, or knew her. It is all a blur, and to be honest I didn't want to remember it anyway.

Peter is there the whole time, standing beside me, holding my hand, trying to take my pain. It's too much for both of us.

Dad isn't doing well, but Aj has sort of moved in with us to help with everything. It seems like there are a lot of things to be done when someone dies. Paperwork, bills, things to be changed, and lawyers and wills.

I find the box Mom told me about in her closet. There is a note on top with my name on it. I take it to my room, but I can't open it. Maybe someday I will be able to, but I'm not ready yet. I still can't believe that she's gone. The house is too quiet. It doesn't feel like home without her.

I keep forgetting, thinking that she's just at work, or out with the girls, and hasn't come home yet. I feel like I'm constantly waiting for her to come back. But she doesn't.

Tex and Viktor are over a lot, and Dad doesn't really seem to care that I have both Peter and Viktor over. Jamie is there a lot, too, always trying to cheer me up. I ask him if he's heard from Brooke, but he hasn't.

The night after the funeral, I have the burning dream again, and I wake up screaming.

“Shh, I'm here.”

“You have to change me, Peter. You have to.”

“Okay. We will have to make arrangements.”

So we do. We spend the rest of the night thinking logistics. I think back to what Mom said. I do want to spend my eternity with Peter. I'm going to become immortal and then we're going to find a way to take care of Di, with or without Helena. And then Peter and I are going to share our eternity together. If there's anyone who can make sure that it happens, it's my mother.

I plan to spend the following weekend with Tex. I know she'll work as my alibi. As soon as I recover, I'll go home and Peter will help me adjust. I do worry that I will want to kill my father, but I have been dealing with that for a while, and I haven't done it yet. I will cross that bridge when I get there.

Peter

It will be done. She will be mine. I will take her soul. I think about what it will be like, to carry something that precious. I don't want to be responsible for something that precious, but she has asked, and I promised.

Rasha and Kamir leave Ava a note, saying how sorry they are for her loss. She tosses it in the trash, but I retrieve it and save it. She might not want it now, but she will.

We don’t hear from Helena for two days, and Ava starts to worry.

“What if she changed her mind?” Her eyes are permanently red and puffy from crying. We're in her bed, lying as close as two people can be.

“We have to believe that she won't.”

She turns her face up for a kiss. “I love you,” she says. “Thank you for not being responsible and saying that I shouldn't want to make a decision like being immortal at a time like this.”

“I adore you,” I say.

She sits up, looking at my face. “What is it?”

“I am not sure.” Something has come over me, much like when Ava's feelings overcome me. Except, this isn't hers. It's something big and bright, and it hurts and it feels wonderful and astonishing and new and old and...

Ava

He pauses for a moment and I seize him, expecting him turn to ash in my bed.

“I. Love. You.” He says it slowly and deliberately. I throw myself at him, knowing that this is the end. He's gone.

Moments pass. Then minutes. I count my breaths, but he's still solid.

“Ava,” he says, unlatching my hands from around his neck. If he was human, I would have choked the life out of him. “I love you,” he says again. He smiles at me and I push my hands on his chest.

“Why aren't you dead?”

“I don't know.” His calm tone makes me want to yell.

“How did you know it wouldn't kill you?”

“I didn't.”

“Then why did you do it, you moron?!”

“Because I felt it.” I thought I'd gotten rid of my tears, but I still had some.

“You can't do things like that to me, ever again. What the fuck is wrong with you?” I just lost my mother and he takes crazy risks.

“I love you. I love you. I love you.” He says it over and over, putting different emphasis on each word. I'm so angry with him, but after he starts smiling and laughing while saying it, I turn to mush. He loves me. I don't know if it means the bind was void all along, or Helena got to Di, or we'd somehow broken it ourselves.

He loves me.

Epilogue

Ava

Peter and I hash out the rest of my transformation details in the midst of making out. He says he loves me a billion more times. I want him to say it a billion more.

“I love you,” he says. He tries saying it with different emphasis on each word. He says it soft and slow and fast and loud until we're rolling on the bed and laughing.

“I am never going to tire of saying it.”

“Helena must have gotten to Di.”

“She must have.”

“We're going to be together,” I say, my face cracking open with a smile.

“We are.”

“Soon.”

“Very soon,” he says, his hand sliding down my arm to my hip. “I can make love to you. I can marry you. I can try to be everything you deserve.”

“You are more than I deserve.”

“Not possible.” His lips claim mine for a fiery kiss.

Peter

We stay up the rest of the night, kissing and talking.

“You should call Viktor to see if his bind is gone. I don't know how we'll tell, but we need to know if it's just you.”

“Tomorrow,” I say. I just want tonight to belong to us. Just us.

“Okay,” she says, touching my bare chest. “And tomorrow, I'll tell Dad that I'm spending my weekend with Tex. Aj will be here to take care of Dad. I'll have to call Jamie and tell him. There is no way I'm letting him find out after. I owe him, big time. And I have a few things I need to do first.” She grabs her notebook from the side of her bed and flips it open.

“Number one: I need to have one more piece of Miller's pie. Number Two: I want to take one more nap. The last sleep, if you will. Number three: I want to run until I can't breathe so I can remember the feeling —” She goes on to list four more things. All human things she wants to do before becoming immortal.

“And one more. I want you to take me flying, and I don't want there to be anything between us. I want the last thing my human skin feels to be your skin.” Her green eyes meet mine, and our desire explodes, and I capture her lips.

“Yes, my Ava. I will take you flying.” I am not afraid of hurting her anymore. I am not afraid of anything.

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

“I love you,” she says.

“I. Love. You,” I say, punctuating every word with a kiss. “It’s time for our dawn, Ava-Claire.”

Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion of The Noctalis Chronicles, Neverend, which will be out in 2013. Here's a little taste:

Ava

“It’s a good night to die, I guess,” I say. The moon was bright outside when we’d arrived at the little stone church Peter had taken me to before Mom died. I’d chosen it as the place for my immortal transformation.

“I wish it hadn’t come to this. I would not have chosen this for you,” Peter said, holding my face like he was holding the most precious thing in the world.

“I know. But after Mom… I just need to have something that lasts. I need to know that something can last forever. I want that to be us.”

The room was dark, due to the fact that Peter had boarded up every possible light source. During my transformation, light would be fatal to me. Go figure.

I rolled over on the mattress he’d probably stolen, but told me he’d bought.

“I want the last thing to touch me as a human to be you.”

“I know.”

“So…”

In answer he started kissing me…

I'm going to make this short and sweet and say thanks to my family, my friends (old and new), my online family, my blogger besties, my beta, my editor and you. Thanks for hanging on for the ride. I hope it's been worth it.

"All you need is love," -The Beatles

Neither is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, business establishments or locales is entirely coincidental.

No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. All rights reserved.

Copyright © 2012 Chelsea M. Cameron

About the Author:

Chelsea M. Cameron is a YA/NA writer from Maine. Lover of things random and ridiculous, Jane Austen/Charlotte and Emily Bronte Fangirl, red velvet cake enthusiast, obsessive tea drinker, vegetarian, former cheerleader and world's worst video gamer. When not writing, she enjoys watching infomercials, singing in the car and tweeting. She has a degree in journalism from the University of Maine, Orono that she promptly abandoned to write about the people in her own head. More often than not, these people turn out to be just as weird as she is.

Other books by Chelsea M. Cameron:

Nocturnal (Book One in The Noctalis Chronicles)

Nightmare (Book Two in The Noctalis Chronicles)

Whisper (Book One in The Whisper Trilogy)

My Favorite Mistake (Coming September 29, 2012)

For more information on Chelsea and her books, visit her blog: leftandwrite7.blogspot.com, or follow her on Twitter, or send her an email at: chel.c.cam@gmail.com

Neither

by

Chelsea M. Cameron

Table of Contents

One

Two

Three

Four

Five

Six

Seven

Eight

Nine

Ten

Eleven

Twelve

Thirteen

Fourteen

Fifteen

Sixteen

Seventeen

Eighteen

Nineteen

Twenty

Twenty-One

Twenty-Two

Twenty-Three

Twenty-Three

Twenty-Four

Twenty-Five

Twenty-Five

Twenty-Six

Twenty-Seven

Twenty-Eight

Twenty-Nine

Epilogue