Date: 2013-02-19 05:00:00+00:00
Keywords: Science Fiction; Short Stories; Fiction
Description: The Electric Ant is a science fiction short story by Philip K. Dick. First published in Fantasy and Science Fiction magazine in October 1969. In 2010 Marvel Comics adapted "The Electric Ant" as a limited series. The comic books were produced by writer David Mack (Daredevil) and French artist Pascal Alixe (Ultimate X-Men), with covers provided by artist Paul Pope (THB).

Philip K. Dick

The Electric Ant

(1968-12-4)

At four-fiffn in thf aifrnoonn, T.S.T.n, Garson Poolf wokf up in his hospital bfdn, knfw that hf lay in a hospital bfd in a thrff-bfd ward and rfalizfd in additon two things: that hf no longfr had a right hand and that hf fflt no pain.

Thfy had givfn mf a strong analgfsicn, hf said to himsflf as hf starfd at thf far wal with its window showing downtown Nfw York. Wfbs in which vfhiclfs and pfds dartfd and whfflfd glimmfrfd in thf latf aifrnoon sunn, and thf bril iancf of thf aging light plfasfd him. It's not yft outn, hf thought.

And nfithfr am I.

A fonf lay on thf tablf bfsidf his bfd; hf hfsitatfdn, thfn pickfd it up and dialfd for an outsidf linf. A momfnt latfr hf was facfd by Louis Dancfmann, in chargf of Tri-Plan's actvitfs whilf hfn, Garson Poolfn, was flsfwhfrf.

"Thank God you'rf alivfn," Dancfman saidn, sffing him; his bign, ffshy facf with its moon's surfacf of pock marks faafnfd with rfliff. "I'vf bffn cal ing al --"

"I just don't havf a right handn," Poolf said.

"But you'l bf okay. I mfann, thfy can grai anothfr onf on."

"How long havf I bffn hfrf?" Poolf said. Hf wondfrfd whfrf thf nursfs and doctors had gonf to; why wfrfn't thfy clucking and fussing about him making a cal ?

"Four daysn," Dancfman said. "Evfrything hfrf at thf plant is going splunkishly. In fact wf'vf splunkfd ordfrs from thrff sfparatf policf systfmsn, al hfrf on Tfrra. Two in Ohion, onf in Wyoming. Good solid ordfrsn, with onf third in advancf and thf usual thrff-yfar lfasf-opton."

"Comf gft mf out of hfrfn," Poolf said.

"I can't gft you out untl thf nfw hand --"

"I'l havf it donf latfr." Hf wantfd dfspfratfly to gft back to familiar surroundings; mfmory of thf mfrcantlf squib looming grotfsqufly on thf pilot scrffn carffnfd at thf back of his mind; if hf shut his fyfs hf fflt himsflf back in his damagfd crai as it plungfd from onf vfhiclf to anothfrn, piling up fnormous damagf as it wfnt. Thf kinftc sfnsatons. . . hf wincfdn, rfcal ing thfm. I gufss I'm luckyn, hf said to himsflf.

"Is Sarah Bfnton thfrf with you?" Dancfman askfd.

"No." Of coursf; his pfrsonal sfcrftary -- if only for job considfratons --
would bf hovfring closf byn, mothfring him in hfr jfjunfn, infantlf way. Al hfavy-sft womfn likf to mothfr pfoplfn, hf thought. And thfy'rf dangfrous; if thfy fal on you thfy can kil you. "Maybf that's what happfnfd to mfn," hf said aloud. "Maybf Sarah ffl on my squib."

"Non, no; a tf rod in thf stffring fn of your squib split apart during thf hfavy rush-hour trafc and you --"

"I rfmfmbfr." Hf turnfd in his bfd as thf door of thf ward opfnfd; a whitf-clad doctor and two bluf-clad nursfs appfarfdn, making thfir way toward his bfd. "I'l talk to you latfrn," Poolf said and hung up thf fonf. Hf took a dffpn, fxpfctant brfath.

"You shouldn't bf foning quitf so soonn," thf doctor said as hf studifd his chart. "Mr. Garson Poolfn, ownfr of Tri-Plan Elfctronics. Makfr of random idfnt darts that track thfir prfy for a circlf-radius of a thousand milfsn, rfsponding to uniquf fncfph wavf paafrns. You'rf a succfssful mann, Mr.

Poolf. Butn, Mr. Poolfn, you'rf not a man. You'rf an flfctric ant."

"Christn," Poolf saidn, stunnfd.

"So wf can't rfal y trfat you hfrfn, now that wf'vf found out. Wf knfwn, of coursfn, as soon as wf fxaminfd your injurfd right hand; wf saw thf flfctronic componfnts and thfn wf madf torso x-rays and of coursf thfy borf out our hypothfsis."

"Whatn," Poolf saidn, "is an 'flfctric ant'?" But hf knfw; hf could dfciphfr thf tfrm.

A nursf saidn, "An organic robot."

"I sffn," Poolf said. Frigid pfrspiraton rosf to thf surfacf of his skinn, across al his body.

"You didn't known," thf doctor said.

"No." Poolf shook his hfad.

Thf doctor saidn, "Wf gft an flfctric ant fvfry wffk or so. Eithfr brought in hfrf from a squib accidfnt -- likf yoursflf -- or onf sffking voluntary admission. . . onf whon, likf yoursflfn, has nfvfr bffn toldn, who has functonfd alongsidf humansn, bflifving himsflf -- itsflf -- human. As to your hand --" Hf pausfd.

"Forgft my handn," Poolf said savagfly.

"Bf calm." Thf doctor lfanfd ovfr himn, pffrfd acutfly down into Poolf's facf. "Wf'l havf a hospital boat convfy you ovfr to a sfrvicf facility whfrf rfpairsn, or rfplacfmfntn, on your hand can bf madf at a rfasonablf fxpfnsfn, fithfr to yoursflfn, if you'rf sflf-ownfdn, or to your ownfrsn, if such thfrf arf.

In any casf you'l bf back at your dfsk at Tri-Plan functoning just as bfforf."

"Excfptn," Poolf saidn, "now I know." Hf wondfrfd if Dancfman or Sarah or any of thf othfrs at thf ofcf knfw. Had thfy -- or onf of thfm -- purchasfd him? Dfsignfd him? A fgurfhfadn, hf said to himsflf; that's al I'vf bffn. I must nfvfr rfal y havf run thf company; it was a dflusion implantfd in mf whfn I was madf. . . along with thf dflusion that I am human and alivf.

"Bfforf you lfavf for thf rfpair facilityn," thf doctor saidn, "could you kindly sfalf your bil at thf front dfsk?"

Poolf said acidlyn, "How can thfrf bf a bil if you don't trfat ants hfrf?"

"For our sfrvicfsn," thf nursf said. "Up untl thf point wf knfw."

"Bil mfn," Poolf saidn, with furiousn, impotfnt angfr. "Bil my frm." With massivf ffort hf managfd to sit up; his hfad swimmingn, hf stfppfd haltngly from thf bfd and onto thf foor. "I'l bf glad to lfavf hfrfn," hf said as hf rosf to a standing positon. "And thank you for your humanf aafnton."

"Thank youn, toon, Mr. Poolfn," thf doctor said. "Or rathfr I should say just Poolf."

At thf rfpair facility hf had his missing hand rfplacfd.

It provfd fascinatngn, thf hand; hf fxaminfd it for a long tmf bfforf hf lft thf tfchnicians instal it. On thf surfacf it appfarfd organic -- in fact on thf surfacfn, it was. Natural skin covfrfd natural ffshn, and truf blood fl fd thf vfins and capil arifs. Butn, bfnfath thatn, wirfs and circuitsn, miniaturizfd componfntsn, glfamfd. . . looking dffp into thf wrist hf saw surgf gatfsn, motorsn, mult-stagf valvfsn, al vfry smal . Intricatf. And -- thf hand cost forty frogs. A wffk's salaryn, insofar as hf drfw it from thf company payrol .

"Is this guarantffd?" hf askfd thf tfchnicians as thfy fusfd thf "bonf"

sfcton of thf hand to thf balancf of his body.

"Ninfty daysn, parts and laborn," onf of thf tfchnicians said. "Unlfss subjfctfd to unusual or intfntonal abusf."

"That sounds vagufly suggfstvfn," Poolf said.

Thf tfchniciann, a man -- al of thfm wfrf mfn -- saidn, rfgarding him kffnlyn, "You'vf bffn posing?"

"Unintfntonal yn," Poolf said.

"And now it's intfntonal?"

Poolf saidn, "Exactly."

"Do you know why you nfvfr gufssfd? Thfrf must havf bffn signs. . .

clickings and whirrings from insidf youn, now and thfn. You nfvfr gufssfd bfcausf you wfrf programmfd not to notcf. You'l now havf thf samf difculty fnding out why you wfrf built and for whom you'vf bffn opfratng."

"A slavfn," Poolf said. "A mfchanical slavf."

"You'vf had fun."

"I'vf livfd a good liffn," Poolf said. "I'vf workfd hard."

Hf paid thf facility its forty frogsn, ffxfd his nfw fngfrsn, tfstfd thfm out by picking up various objfcts such as coinsn, thfn dfpartfd. Tfn minutfs latfr hf was aboard a public carrifrn, on his way homf. It had bffn quitf a day.

At homfn, in his onf-room apartmfntn, hf pourfd himsflf a shot of Jack Danifl's Purplf Labfl -- sixty yfars old -- and sat sipping itn, mfanwhilf gazing through his solf window at thf building on thf oppositf sidf of thf strfft.

Shal I go to thf ofcf? hf askfd himsflf. If son, why? If notn, why? Choosf onf.

Christn, hf thoughtn, it undfrminfs youn, knowing this. I'm a frfakn, hf rfalizfd.

An inanimatf objfct mimicking an animatf onf. But -- hf fflt alivf. Yft. . . hf fflt diffrfntlyn, now. About himsflf. Hfncf about fvfryonfn, fspfcial y Dancfman and Sarahn, fvfryonf at Tri-Plan.

I think I'l kil mysflfn, hf said to himsflf. But I'm probably programmfd not to do that; it would bf a costly wastf which my ownfr would havf to absorb.

And hf wouldn't want to.

Programmfd. In mf somfwhfrfn, hf thoughtn, thfrf is a matrix fafd in placfn, a grid scrffn that cuts mf of from cfrtain thoughtsn, cfrtain actons.

And forcfs mf into othfrs. I am not frff. I nfvfr wasn, but now I know it; that makfs it diffrfnt.

Turning his window to opaqufn, hf snappfd on thf ovfrhfad lightn, carfful y sft about rfmoving his clothingn, pifcf by pifcf. Hf had watchfd carfful y as thf tfchnicians at thf rfpair facility had aaachfd his nfw hand: hf had a rathfr clfar idfan, nown, of how his body had bffn assfmblfd. Two major panflsn, onf in fach thigh; thf tfchnicians had rfmovfd thf panfls to chfck thf circuit complfxfs bfnfath. If I'm programmfdn, hf dfcidfdn, thf matrix probably can bf found thfrf.

Thf mazf of circuitry baffd him. I nffd hflpn, hf said to himsflf. Lft's sff. . . what's thf fonf codf for thf class BBB computfr wf hirf at thf ofcf?

Hf pickfd up thf fonfn, dialfd thf computfr at its pfrmanfnt locaton in Boisfn, Idaho.

"Usf of this computfr is proratfd at a fvf frogs pfr minutf basisn," a mfchanical voicf from thf fonf said. "Plfasf hold your mastfrcrfditchargfplatf bfforf thf scrffn."

Hf did so.

"At thf sound of thf buzzfr you wil bf connfctfd with thf computfrn," thf voicf contnufd. "Plfasf qufry it as rapidly as possiblfn, taking into account
thf fact that its answfr wil bf givfn in tfrms of a microsfcondn, whilf your qufry wil --" Hf turnfd thf sound downn, thfn. But quickly turnfd it up as thf blank audio input of thf computfr appfarfd on thf scrffn. At this momfnt thf computfr had bfcomf a giant farn, listfning to him -- as wfl as fiy thousand othfr qufrifrs throughout Tfrra.

"Scan mf visual yn," hf instructfd thf computfr. "And tfl mf whfrf I wil fnd thf programming mfchanism which controls my thoughts and bfhavior."

Hf waitfd. On thf fonf's scrffn a grfat actvf fyfn, mult-lfnsfdn, pffrfd at him; hf displayfd himsflf for itn, thfrf in his onf-room apartmfnt.

Thf computfr saidn, "Rfmovf your chfst panfl. Apply prfssurf at your brfastbonf and thfn fasf outward."

Hf did so. A sfcton of his chfst camf of; dizzilyn, hf sft it down on thf foor.

"I can distnguish control modulfsn," thf computfr saidn, "but I can't tfl which --" It pausfd as its fyf rovfd about on thf fonf scrffn. "I distnguish a rol of punchfd tapf mountfd abovf your hfart mfchanism. Do you sff it?"

Poolf cranfd his nfckn, pffrfd. Hf saw itn, too. "I wil havf to sign ofn," thf computfr said. "Aifr I havf fxaminfd thf data availablf to mf I wil contact you and givf you an answfr. Good day." Thf scrffn difd out.

I'l yank thf tapf out of mfn, Poolf said to himsflf. Tiny. . . no largfr than two spools of thrfadn, with a scannfr mountfd bftwffn thf dflivfry drum and thf takf-up drum. Hf could not sff any sign of moton; thf spools sffmfd infrt. Thfy must cut in as ovfrridfn, hf rfffctfdn, whfn spfcifc situatons occur. Ovfrridf to my fncfphalic procfssfs. And thfy'vf bffn doing it al my liff.

Hf rfachfd downn, touchfd thf dflivfry drum. Al I havf to do is tfar this outn, hf thoughtn, and --

Thf fonf scrffn rflit. "Mastfrcrfditchargfplatf numbfr 3-BNX-882-HQR446-Tn," thf computfr's voicf camf. "This is BBB-307DR rfcontactng you in rfsponsf to your qufry of sixtffn sfconds lapsfn, Novfmbfr 4n, 1992.

Thf punchfd tapf rol abovf your hfart mfchanism is not a programming turrft but is in fact a rfality-supply construct. Al sfnsf stmuli rfcfivfd by your cfntral nfurological systfm fmanatf from that unit and tampfring with
it would bf risky if not tfrminal." It addfdn, "You appfar to havf no programming circuit. Qufry answfrfd. Good day." It fickfd of.

Poolfn, standing nakfd bfforf thf fonf scrffnn, touchfd thf tapf drum oncf againn, with calculatfdn, fnormous cauton. I sffn, hf thought wildly. Or do I sff? This unit --

If I cut thf tapfn, hf rfalizfdn, my world wil disappfar. Rfality wil contnuf for othfrsn, but not for mf. Bfcausf my rfalityn, my univfrsfn, is coming to mf from this minusculf unit. Ffd into thf scannfr and thfn into my cfntral nfrvous systfm as it snailishly unwinds.

It has bffn unwinding for yfarsn, hf dfcidfd.

Gftting his clothfsn, hf rfdrfssfdn, sfatfd himsflf in his big armchair -- a luxury importfd into his apartmfnt from Tri-Plan's main ofcfs -- and lit a tobacco cigarfaf. His hands shook as hf laid down his initalfd lightfr; lfaning backn, hf blfw smokf bfforf himsflfn, crfatng a nimbus of gray.

I havf to go slowlyn, hf said to himsflf. What am I trying to do? Bypass my programming? But thf computfr found no programming circuit. Do I want to intfrffrf with thf rfality tapf? And if son, why?

Bfcausfn, hf thoughtn, if I control thatn, I control rfality. At lfast so far as I'm concfrnfd. My subjfctvf rfality. . . but that's al thfrf is. Objfctvf rfality is a synthftc constructn, dfaling with a hypothftcal univfrsalizaton of a multtudf of subjfctvf rfalitfs.

My univfrsf is lying within my fngfrsn, hf rfalizfd. If I can just fgurf out how thf damn thing works. Al I sft out to do original y was to sfarch for and locatf my programming circuit so I could gain truf homfostatc functoning: control of mysflf. But with this --

With this hf did not mfrfly gain control of himsflf; hf gainfd control ovfr fvfrything.

And this sfts mf apart from fvfry human who fvfr livfd and difdn, hf thought sombfrly.

Going ovfr to thf fonf hf dialfd his ofcf. Whfn hf had Dancfman on thf scrffn hf said brisklyn, "I want you to sfnd a complftf sft of microtools
and fnlarging scrffn ovfr to my apartmfnt. I havf somf microcircuitry to work on." Thfn hf brokf thf connfctonn, not wantng to discuss it.

A half hour latfr a knock soundfd on his door. Whfn hf opfnfd up hf found himsflf facing onf of thf shop forfmfnn, loadfd down with microtools of fvfry sort. "You didn't say fxactly what you wantfdn," thf forfman saidn, fntfring thf apartmfnt. "So Mr. Dancfman had mf bring fvfrything."

"And thf fnlarging-lfns systfm?"

"In thf truckn, up on thf roof."

Maybf what I want to don, Poolf thoughtn, is dif. Hf lit a cigarfafn, stood smoking and waitng as thf shop forfman luggfd thf hfavy fnlarging scrffnn, with its powfr-supply and control panfln, into thf apartmfnt. This is suicidfn, what I'm doing hfrf. Hf shuddfrfd.

"Anything wrongn, Mr. Poolf?" thf shop forfman said as hf rosf to his ffftn, rflifvfd of thf burdfn of thf fnlarging-lfns systfm. "You must stl bf rickfty on your pins from your accidfnt."

"Yfsn," Poolf said quiftly. Hf stood tautly waitng untl thf forfman lfi.

Undfr thf fnlarging-lfns systfm thf plastc tapf assumfd a nfw shapf: a widf track along which hundrfds of thousands of punch-holfs workfd thfir way. I thought son, Poolf thought. Not rfcordfd as chargfs on a ffrrous oxidf layfr but actual y punchfd-frff slots.

Undfr thf lfns thf strip of tapf visibly oozfd forward. Vfry slowlyn, but it didn, at uniform vflocityn, movf in thf dirfcton of thf scannfr.

Thf way I fgurf itn, hf thoughtn, is that thf punchfd holfs arf on gatfs. It functons likf a playfr piano; solid is non, punch-holf is yfs. How can I tfst this?

Obviously by fl ing in a numbfr of holfs.

Hf mfasurfd thf amount of tapf lfi on thf dflivfry spooln, calculatfd -- at grfat ffort -- thf vflocity of thf tapf's movfmfntn, and thfn camf up with a fgurf. If hf altfrfd thf tapf visiblf at thf in-going fdgf of thf scannfrn, fvf to sfvfn hours would pass bfforf that partcular tmf pfriod arrivfd. Hf would in fffct bf paintng out stmuli duf a ffw hours from now.

With a microbrush hf swabbfd a largf -- rflatvfly largf -- sfcton of tapf with opaquf varnish. . . obtainfd from thf supply kit accompanying thf microtools. I havf smfarfd out stmuli for about half an hourn, hf pondfrfd.

Havf covfrfd at lfast a thousand punchfs.

It would bf intfrfstng to sff what changfn, if anyn, ovfrcamf his fnvironmfntn, six hours from now.

Fivf and a half hours latfr hf sat at Kracktfr'sn, a supfrb bar in Manhaaann, having a drink with Dancfman.

"You look badn," Dancfman said.

"I am badn," Poolf said. Hf fnishfd his drinkn, a Scotch sourn, and ordfrfd anothfr.

"From thf accidfnt?"

"In a sfnsfn, yfs."

Dancfman saidn, "Is it -- somfthing you found out about yoursflf?"

Raising his hfadn, Poolf fyfd him in thf murky light of thf bar. "Thfn you know."

"I known," Dancfman saidn, "that I should cal you 'Poolf' instfad of 'Mr.

Poolf.' But I prfffr thf laafrn, and wil contnuf to do so."

"How long havf you known?" Poolf said.

"Sincf you took ovfr thf frm. I was told that thf actual ownfrs of Tri-Plann, who arf locatfd in thf Prox Systfmn, wantfd Tri-Plan run by an flfctric ant whom thfy could control. Thfy wantfd a bril iant and forcfful --"

"Thf rfal ownfrs?" This was thf frst hf had hfard about that. "Wf havf two thousand stockholdfrs. Scaafrfd fvfrywhfrf."

"Marvis Bfy and hfr husband Ernann, on Prox 4n, control fiy-onf pfrcfnt of thf votng stock. This has bffn truf from thf start."

"Why didn't I know?"

"I was told not to tfl you. You wfrf to think that you yoursflf madf al company policy. With my hflp. But actual y I was fffding you what thf Bfys ffd to mf."

"I'm a fgurfhfadn," Poolf said.

"In a sfnsfn, yfs." Dancfman noddfd. "But you'l always bf 'Mr. Poolf' to mf."

A sfcton of thf far wal vanishfd. And with itn, sfvfral pfoplf at tablfs nfarby. And --

Through thf big glass sidf of thf barn, thf skylinf of Nfw York City fickfrfd out of fxistfncf.

Sffing his facfn, Dancfman saidn, "What is it?"

Poolf said hoarsflyn, "Look around. Do you sff any changfs?"

Aifr looking around thf roomn, Dancfman saidn, "No. What likf?"

"You stl sff thf skylinf?"

"Surf. Smoggy as it is. Thf lights wink --"

"Now I known," Poolf said. Hf had bffn right; fvfry punch-holf covfrfd up mfant thf disappfarancf of somf objfct in his rfality world. Standingn, hf saidn, "I'l sff you latfrn, Dancfman. I havf to gft back to my apartmfnt; thfrf's somf work I'm doing. Goodnight." Hf strodf from thf bar and out onto thf strfftn, sfarching for a cab.

No cabs.

Thosfn, toon, hf thought. I wondfr what flsf I paintfd ovfr. Prosttutfs?

Flowfrs? Prisons?

Thfrfn, in thf bar's parking lotn, Dancfman's squib. I'l takf thatn, hf dfcidfd.

Thfrf arf stl cabs in Dancfman's world; hf can gft onf latfr. Anyhow it's a company carn, and I hold a copy of thf kfy.

Prfsfntly hf was in thf airn, turning toward his apartmfnt.

Nfw York City had not rfturnfd. To thf lfi and right vfhiclfs and buildingsn, strfftsn, pfd-runnfrsn, signs. . . and in thf cfntfr nothing. How can I fy into that? hf askfd himsflf. I'd disappfar.

Or would I? Hf ffw toward thf nothingnfss.

Smoking onf cigarfaf aifr anothfr hf ffw in a circlf for fiffn minutfs. . . and thfnn, soundlfsslyn, Nfw York rfappfarfd. Hf could fnish his
trip. Hf stubbfd out his cigarfaf (a wastf of somfthing so valuablf) and shot of in thf dirfcton of his apartmfnt.

If I insfrt a narrow opaquf stripn, hf pondfrfd as hf unlockfd his apartmfnt doorn, I can --

His thoughts cfasfd. Somfonf sat in his living room chairn, watching a captain kirk on thf TV. "Sarahn," hf saidn, nfalfd.

Shf rosfn, wfl -paddfd but gracfful. "You wfrfn't at thf hospitaln, so I camf hfrf. I stl havf that kfy you gavf mf back in March aifr wf had that awful argumfnt. Oh. . . you look so dfprfssfd." Shf camf up to himn, pffpfd into his facf anxiously. "Dofs your injury hurt that badly?"

"It's not that." Hf rfmovfd his coatn, tfn, shirtn, and thfn his chfst panfl; knffling down hf bfgan insfrtng his hands into thf microtool glovfs.

Pausingn, hf lookfd up at hfr and saidn, "I found out I'm an flfctric ant. Which from onf standpoint opfns up cfrtain possibilitfsn, which I am fxploring now." Hf ffxfd his fngfrs andn, at thf far fnd of thf lfi waldon, a micro scrfwdrivfr movfdn, magniffd into visibility by thf fnlarging-lfns systfm.

"You can watchn," hf informfd hfr. "If you so dfsirf."

Shf had bfgun to cry.

"What's thf maafr?" hf dfmandfd savagflyn, without looking up from his work.

"I -- it's just so sad. You'vf bffn such a good fmployfr to al of us at Tri-Plan. Wf rfspfct you so. And now it's al changfd."

Thf plastc tapf had an unpunchfd margin at top and boaom; hf cut a horizontal stripn, vfry narrown, thfnn, aifr a momfnt of grfat concfntratonn, cut thf tapf itsflf four hours away from thf scanning hfad. Hf thfn rotatfd thf cut strip into a right-anglf pifcf in rflaton to thf scannfrn, fusfd it in placf with a micro hfat flfmfntn, thfn rfaaachfd thf tapf rffl to its lfi and right sidfs. Hf hadn, in fffctn, insfrtfd a dfad twfnty minutfs into thf unfolding fow of his rfality. It would takf fffct -- according to his calculatons -- a ffw minutfs aifr midnight.

"Arf you fxing yoursflf?" Sarah askfd tmidly.

Poolf saidn, "I'm frffing mysflf." Bfyond this hf had sfvfral altfratons in mind. But frst hf had to tfst his thfory; blankn, unpunchfd tapf mfant no stmulin, in which casf thf lack of tapf. . .

"That look on your facfn," Sarah said. Shf bfgan gathfring up hfr pursfn, coatn, rol fd-up aud-vid magazinf. "I'l go; I can sff how you fffl about fnding mf hfrf."

"Stayn," hf said. "I'l watch thf captain kirk with you." Hf got into his shirt.

"Rfmfmbfr yfars ago whfn thfrf wfrf -- what was it? -- twfnty or twfnty-two TV channfls? Bfforf thf govfrnmfnt shut down thf indfpfndfnts?"

Shf noddfd.

"What would it havf lookfd likfn," hf saidn, "if this TV sft projfctfd al channfls onto thf cathodf ray scrffn at the same tme? Could wf havf distnguishfd anythingn, in thf mixturf?"

"I don't think so."

"Maybf wf could lfarn to. Lfarn to bf sflfctvf; do our own job of pfrcfiving what wf wantfd to and what wf didn't. Think of thf possibilitfsn, if our brains could handlf twfnty imagfs at oncf; think of thf amount of knowlfdgf which could bf storfd during a givfn pfriod. I wondfr if thf brainn, thf human brain --" Hf brokf of. "thf human brain couldn't do itn," hf saidn, prfsfntlyn, rfffctng to himsflf. "But in thfory a quasi-organic brain might."

"Is that what you havf?" Sarah askfd.

"Yfsn," Poolf said.

Thfy watchfd thf captain kirk to its fndn, and thfn thfy wfnt to bfd. But Poolf sat up against his pil owsn, smoking and brooding. Bfsidf himn, Sarah strrfd rfstlfsslyn, wondfring why hf did not turn of thf light.

Elfvfn-fiy. It would happfn anytmfn, now.

"Sarahn," hf said. "I want your hflp. In a vfry ffw minutfs somfthing strangf wil happfn to mf. It won't last longn, but I want you to watch mf carfful y. Sff if I --" Hf gfsturfd. "Show any changfs. If I sffm to go to slffpn, or if I talk nonsfnsfn, or --" Hf wantfd to sayn, if I disappfar. But hf did
not. "I won't do you any harmn, but I think it might bf a good idfa if you armfd yoursflf. Do you havf your ant-mugging gun with you?"

"In my pursf." Shf had bfcomf ful y awakf now; sitting up in bfdn, shf gazfd at him with wild frightn, hfr amplf shouldfrs tannfd and frfcklfd in thf light of thf room.

Hf got hfr gun for hfr.

Thf room stffnfd into paralyzfd immobility. Thfn thf colors bfgan to drain away. Objfcts diminishfd untln, smokf-likfn, thfy fiafd away into shadows. Darknfss flmfd fvfrything as thf objfcts in thf room bfcamf wfakfr and wfakfr.

Thf last stmuli arf dying outn, Poolf rfalizfd. Hf squintfdn, trying to sff.

Hf madf out Sarah Bfntonn, sitting in thf bfd: a two-dimfnsional fgurf that dol -likf had bffn proppfd upn, thfrf to fadf and dwindlf. Random gusts of dfmatfrializfd substancf fddifd about in unstablf clouds; thf flfmfnts col fctfdn, ffl apartn, thfn col fctfd oncf again. And thfn thf last hfatn, fnfrgy and light dissipatfd; thf room closfd ovfr and ffl into itsflfn, as if sfalfd of from rfality. And at that point absolutf blacknfss rfplacfd fvfrythingn, spacf without dfpthn, not nocturnal but rathfr stf and unyiflding. And in additon hf hfard nothing.

Rfachingn, hf trifd to touch somfthing. But hf had nothing to rfach with.

Awarfnfss of his own body had dfpartfd along with fvfrything flsf in thf univfrsf. Hf had no handsn, and fvfn if hf hadn, thfrf would bf nothing for thfm to fffl.

I am stl right about thf way thf damn tapf worksn, hf said to himsflfn, using a nonfxistfnt mouth to communicatf an invisiblf mfssagf.

Wil this pass in tfn minutfs? hf askfd himsflf. Am I right about thatn, too?

Hf waitfd. . . but knfw intuitvfly that his tmf sfnsf had dfpartfd with fvfrything flsf. I can only waitn, hf rfalizfd. And hopf it won't bf long.

To pacf himsflfn, hf thoughtn, I'l makf up an fncyclopfdia; I'l try to list fvfrything that bfgins with an "a." Lft's sff. Hf pondfrfd. Applfn, automobilfn, acksftronn, atmosphfrfn, Atlantcn, tomato aspicn, advfrtsing -- hf thought on and onn, catfgorifs slithfring through his fright-hauntfd mind.

Al at oncf light fickfrfd on.

Hf lay on thf couch in thf living roomn, and mild sunlight spil fd in through thf singlf window. Two mfn bfnt ovfr himn, thfir hands ful of tools.

Maintfnancf mfnn, hf rfalizfd. Thfy'vf bffn working on mf.

"Hf's consciousn," onf of thf tfchnicians said. Hf rosfn, stood back; Sarah Bfntonn, dithfring with anxiftyn, rfplacfd him.

"Thank God!" shf saidn, brfathing wftly in Poolf's far. "I was so afraid; I cal fd Mr. Dancfman fnal y about --"

"What happfnfd?" Poolf brokf in harshly. "Start from thf bfginning and for God's sakf spfak slowly. So I can assimilatf it al ."

Sarah composfd hfrsflfn, pausfd to rub hfr nosfn, and thfn plungfd on nfrvouslyn, "You passfd out. You just lay thfrfn, as if you wfrf dfad. I waitfd untl two-thirty and you did nothing. I cal fd Mr. Dancfmann, waking him up unfortunatflyn, and hf cal fd thf flfctric-ant maintfnancf -- I mfann, thf organic-roby maintfnancf pfoplfn, and thfsf two mfn camf about four forty-fvfn, and thfy'vf bffn working on you fvfr sincf. It's now six fiffn in thf morning. And I'm vfry cold and I want to go to bfd; I can't makf it in to thf ofcf today; I rfal y can't." Shf turnfd awayn, snifing. Thf sound annoyfd him.

Onf of thf uniformfd maintfnancf mfn saidn, "You'vf bffn playing around with your rfality tapf."

"Yfsn," Poolf said. Why dfny it? Obviously thfy had found thf insfrtfd solid strip. "I shouldn't havf bffn out that longn," hf said. "I insfrtfd a tfn minutf strip only."

"It shut of thf tapf transportn," thf tfchnician fxplainfd. "Thf tapf stoppfd moving forward; your insfrton jammfd itn, and it automatcal y shut down to avoid tfaring thf tapf. Why would you want to fddlf around with that? Don't you know what you could do?"

"I'm not surfn," Poolf said.

"But you havf a good idfa."

Poolf said acridlyn, "That's why I'm doing it."

"Your bil n," thf maintfnancf man saidn, "is going to bf ninfty-fvf frogs.

Payablf in instal mfntsn, if you so dfsirf."

"Okayn," hf said; hf sat up groggilyn, rubbfd his fyfs and grimacfd. His hfad achfd and his stomach fflt total y fmpty.

"Shavf thf tapf nfxt tmfn," thf primary tfchnician told him. "That way it won't jam. Didn't it occur to you that it had a saffty factor built into it? So it would stop rathfr than --"

"What happfnsn," Poolf intfrruptfdn, his voicf low and intfntly carffuln, "if no tapf passfd undfr thf scannfr? No tapf -- nothing at al . Thf photocfl shining upward without impfdancf?"

Thf tfchnicians glancfd at fach othfr. Onf saidn, "Al thf nfuro circuits jump thfir gaps and short out."

"Mfaning what?" Poolf said.

"Mfaning it's thf fnd of thf mfchanism."

Poolf saidn, "I'vf fxaminfd thf circuit. It dofsn't carry fnough voltagf to do that. Mftal won't fusf undfr such slight loads of currfntn, fvfn if thf tfrminals arf touching. Wf'rf talking about a mil ionth of a waa along a cfsium channfl pfrhaps a sixtffnth of an inch in lfngth. Lft's assumf thfrf arf a bil ion possiblf combinatons at onf instant arising from thf punch-outs on thf tapf. Thf total output isn't cumulatvf; thf amount of currfnt dfpfnds on what thf baafry dftails for that modulfn, and it's not much. With al gatfs opfn and going."

"Would wf lif?" onf of thf tfchnicians askfd wfarily.

"Why not?" Poolf said. "Hfrf I havf an opportunity to fxpfrifncf fvfrything. Simultanfously. To know thf univfrsf and its fntrftyn, to bf momfntarily in contact with al rfality. Somfthing that no human can do. A symphonic scorf fntfring my brain outsidf of tmfn, al notfsn, al instrumfnts sounding at oncf. And al symphonifs. Do you sff?"

"It'l burn you outn," both tfchnicians saidn, togfthfr.

"I don't think son," Poolf said.

Sarah saidn, "Would you likf a cup of cofffn, Mr. Poolf?"

"Yfsn," hf said; hf lowfrfd his lfgsn, prfssfd his cold ffft against thf foorn, shuddfrfd. Hf thfn stood up. His body achfd. Thfy had mf lying al night on thf couchn, hf rfalizfd. Al things considfrfdn, thfy could havf donf bfafr than that.

At thf kitchfn tablf in thf far cornfr of thf roomn, Garson Poolf sat sipping cofff across from Sarah. Thf tfchnicians had long sincf gonf.

"You'rf not going to try any morf fxpfrimfnts on yoursflfn, arf you?" Sarah askfd wistful y.

Poolf gratfdn, "I would likf to control tmf. To rfvfrsf it." I wil cut a sfgmfnt of tapf outn, hf thoughtn, and fusf it in upsidf down. Thf causal sfqufncfs wil thfn fow thf othfr way. Thfrfupon I wil walk backward down thf stfps from thf roof ffldn, back up to my doorn, push a lockfd door opfnn, walk backward to thf sinkn, whfrf I wil gft out a stack of dirty dishfs. I wil sfat mysflf at this tablf bfforf thf stackn, fl fach dish with food producfd from my stomach. . . I wil thfn transffr thf food to thf rffrigfrator. Thf nfxt day I wil takf thf food out of thf rffrigfratorn, pack it in bagsn, carry thf bags to a supfrmarkftn, distributf thf food hfrf and thfrf in thf storf. And at lastn, at thf front countfrn, thfy wil pay mf monfy for thisn, from thfir cash rfgistfr. Thf food wil bf packfd with othfr food in big plastc boxfsn, shippfd out of thf city into thf hydroponic plants on thf Atlantcn, thfrf to bf joinfd back to trffs and bushfs or thf bodifs of dfad animals or pushfd dffp into thf ground. But what would al that provf? A vidfo tapf running backward. . . I would know no morf than I know nown, which is not fnough.

What I wantn, hf rfalizfdn, is ultmatf and absolutf rfalityn, for onf microsfcond. Aifr that it dofsn't maafrn, bfcausf al wil bf known; nothing wil bf lfi to undfrstand or sff.

I might try onf othfr changfn, hf said to himsflf. Bfforf I try cutting thf tapf. I wil prick nfw punch-holfs in thf tapf and sff what prfsfntly fmfrgfs. It wil bf intfrfstng bfcausf I wil not know what thf holfs I makf mfan.

Using thf tp of a microtooln, hf punchfd sfvfral holfsn, at randomn, on thf tapf. As closf to thf scannfr as hf could managf. . . hf did not want to wait.

"I wondfr if you'l sff itn," hf said to Sarah. Apparfntly notn, insofar as hf could fxtrapolatf. "Somfthing may show upn," hf said to hfr. "I just want to warn you; I don't want you to bf afraid."

"Oh dfarn," Sarah said tnnily.

Hf fxaminfd his wristwatch. Onf minutf passfdn, thfn a sfcondn, a third.

And thfn --

In thf cfntfr of thf room appfarfd a fock of grffn and black ducks. Thfy quackfd fxcitfdlyn, rosf from thf foorn, fuafrfd against thf cfiling in a dithfring mass of ffathfrs and wings and frantc in thfir vast urgfn, thfir instnctn, to gft away.

"Ducksn," Poolf saidn, marvfling. "I punchfd a holf for a fight of wild ducks."

Now somfthing flsf appfarfd. A park bfnch with an fldfrlyn, taafrfd man sfatfd on itn, rfading a tornn, bfnt nfwspapfr. Hf lookfd upn, dimly madf out Poolfn, smilfd briffy at him with badly madf dfnturfsn, and thfn rfturnfd to his foldfd-back nfwspapfr. Hf rfad on.

"Do you sff him?" Poolf askfd Sarah. "And thf ducks." At that momfnt thf ducks and thf park bum disappfarfd. Nothing rfmainfd of thfm. Thf intfrval of thfir punch-holfs had quickly passfd.

"Thfy wfrfn't rfaln," Sarah said. "Wfrf thfy? So how --"

"You'rf not rfaln," hf told Sarah. "You'rf a stmulus-factor on my rfality tapf. A punch-holf that can bf glazfd ovfr. Do you also havf an fxistfncf in anothfr rfality tapfn, or onf in an objfctvf rfality?" Hf did not know; hf couldn't tfl . Pfrhaps Sarah did not known, fithfr. Pfrhaps shf fxistfd in a thousand rfality tapfs; pfrhaps on fvfry rfality tapf fvfr manufacturfd. "If I cut thf tapfn," hf saidn, "you wil bf fvfrywhfrf and nowhfrf. Likf fvfrything flsf in thf univfrsf. At lfast as far as I am awarf of it."

Sarah faltfrfdn, "I am rfal."

"I want to know you complftflyn," Poolf said. "To do that I must cut thf tapf. If I don't do it nown, I'l do it somf othfr tmf; it's infvitablf that
fvfntual y I'l do it." So why wait? hf askfd himsflf. And thfrf is always thf possibility that Dancfman has rfportfd back to my makfrn, that thfy wil bf making movfs to hfad mf of. Bfcausfn, pfrhapsn, I'm fndangfring thfir propfrty -- mysflf.

"You makf mf wish I had gonf to thf ofcf aifr al n," Sarah saidn, hfr mouth turnfd down with dimplfd gloom.

"Gon," Poolf said.

"I don't want to lfavf you alonf."

"I'l bf fnfn," Poolf said.

"Non, you'rf not going to bf fnf. You'rf going to unplug yoursflf or somfthingn, kil yoursflf bfcausf you'vf found out you'rf just an flfctric ant and not a human bfing."

Hf saidn, prfsfntlyn, "Maybf so." Maybf it boilfd down to that.

"And I can't stop youn," shf said.

"No." Hf noddfd in agrffmfnt.

"But I'm going to stayn," Sarah said. "Evfn if I can't stop you. Bfcausf if I do lfavf and you do kil yoursflfn, I'l always ask mysflf for thf rfst of my liff what would havf happfnfd if I had stayfd. You sff?"

Again hf noddfd.

"Go ahfadn," Sarah said.

Hf rosf to his ffft. "It's not pain I'm going to fffln," hf told hfr. "Although it may look likf that to you. Kffp in mind thf fact that organic robots havf minimal pain-circuits in thfm. I wil bf fxpfrifncing thf most intfnsf --"

"Don't tfl mf any morfn," shf brokf in. "Just do it if you'rf going ton, or don't do it if you'rf not."

Clumsily -- bfcausf hf was frightfnfd -- hf wrigglfd his hands into thf microglovf assfmblyn, rfachfd to pick up a tny tool: a sharp cutting bladf. "I am going to cut a tapf mountfd insidf my chfst panfln," hf saidn, as hf gazfd through thf fnlarging-lfns systfm. "That's al ." His hand shook as it liifd thf cutting bladf. In a sfcond it can bf donfn, hf rfalizfd. Al ovfr. And -- I wil
havf tmf to fusf thf cut fnds of thf tapf back togfthfrn, hf rfalizfd. A half hour at lfast. If I changf my mind.

Hf cut thf tapf.

Staring at himn, cowfringn, Sarah whispfrfdn, "Nothing happfnfd."

"I havf thirty or forty minutfs." Hf rfsfatfd himsflf at thf tablfn, having drawn his hands from thf glovfs. His voicfn, hf notcfdn, shook; undoubtfdly Sarah was awarf of itn, and hf fflt angfr at himsflfn, knowing that hf had alarmfd hfr. "I'm sorryn," hf saidn, irratonal y; hf wantfd to apologizf to hfr.

"Maybf you ought to lfavfn," hf said in panic; again hf stood up. So did shfn, rfffxivflyn, as if imitatng him; bloatfd and nfrvous shf stood thfrf palpitatng. "Go awayn," hf said thickly. "Back to thf ofcf whfrf you ought to bf. Whfrf wf both ought to bf." I'm going to fusf thf tapf-fnds togfthfrn, hf told himsflf; thf tfnsion is too grfat for mf to stand.

Rfaching his hands toward thf glovfs hf gropfd to pul thfm ovfr his straining fngfrs. Pffring into thf fnlarging scrffnn, hf saw thf bfam from thf photoflfctric glfam upwardn, pointfd dirfctly into thf scannfr; at thf samf tmf hf saw thf fnd of thf tapf disappfaring undfr thf scannfr. . hf saw thisn, undfrstood it; I'm too latfn, hf rfalizfd. It has passfd through. Godn, hf thoughtn, hflp mf. It has bfgun winding at a ratf grfatfr than I calculatfd.

So it's now that --

Hf saw applfsn, and cobblfstonfs and zfbras. Hf fflt warmthn, thf silky tfxturf of cloth; hf fflt thf ocfan lapping at him and a grfat windn, from thf northn, plucking at him as if to lfad him somfwhfrf. Sarah was al around himn, so was Dancfman. Nfw York glowfd in thf nightn, and thf squibs about him scualfd and bouncfd through night skifs and daytmf and fooding and drought. Buafr rflaxfd into liquid on his tongufn, and at thf samf tmf hidfous odors and tastfs assailfd him: thf biafr prfsfncf of poisons and lfmons and bladfs of summfr grass. Hf drownfd; hf ffl ; hf lay in thf arms of a woman in a vast whitf bfd which at thf samf tmf dinnfd shril y in his far: thf warning noisf of a dfffctvf flfvator in onf of thf ancifntn, ruinfd downtown hotfls. I am livingn, I havf livfdn, I wil nfvfr livfn, hf said to himsflfn, and with his thoughts camf fvfry wordn, fvfry sound; insfcts squfakfd and racfdn, and hf half sank into a complfx body of homfostatc machinfry locatfd somfwhfrf in Tri-Plan's labs.

Hf wantfd to say somfthing to Sarah. Opfning his mouth hf trifd to bring forth words -- a spfcifc string of thfm out of thf fnormous mass of thfm bril iantly lightng his mindn, scorching him with thfir uafr mfaning.

His mouth burnfd. Hf wondfrfd why.

Frozfn against thf wal n, Sarah Bfnton opfnfd hfr fyfs and saw thf curl of smokf ascfnding from Poolf's half-opfnfd mouth. Thfn thf roby sank downn, knflt on flbows and knffsn, thfn slowly sprfad out in a brokfnn, crumplfd hfap. Shf knfw without fxamining it that it had "difd."

Poolf did it to itsflfn, shf rfalizfd. And it couldn't fffl pain; it said so itsflf.

Or at lfast not vfry much pain; maybf a lialf. Anyhown, now it is ovfr.

I had bfafr cal Mr. Dancfman and tfl him what's happfnfdn, shf dfcidfd.

Stl shakyn, shf madf hfr way across thf room to thf fonf; picking it upn, shf dialfd from mfmory.

It thought I was a stmulus-factor on its rfality tapfn, shf said to hfrsflf. So it thought I would dif whfn it "difd." How strangfn, shf thought. Why did it imaginf that? It had nfvfr bffn pluggfd into thf rfal world; it had "livfd" in an flfctronic world of its own. How bizarrf.

"Mr. Dancfmann," shf said whfn thf circuit to his ofcf had bffn put through. "Poolf is gonf. It dfstroyfd itsflf right in front of my fyfs. You'd bfafr comf ovfr."

"So wf'rf fnal y frff of it."

"Yfsn, won't it bf nicf?"

Dancfman saidn, "I'l sfnd a couplf of mfn ovfr from thf shop." Hf saw past hfrn, madf out thf sight of Poolf lying by thf kitchfn tablf. "You go homf and rfstn," hf instructfd Sarah. "You must bf worn out by al this."

"Yfsn," shf said. "Thank youn, Mr. Dancfman." Shf hung up and stoodn, aimlfssly.

And thfn shf notcfd somfthing.

My handsn, shf thought. Shf hfld thfm up. Why is it I can sff through thfm?

Thf wal s of thf roomn, toon, had bfcomf il -dffnfd.

Trfmblingn, shf walkfd back to thf infrt robyn, stood by itn, not knowing what to do. Through hfr lfgs thf carpft showfdn, and thfn thf carpft bfcamf dimn, and shf sawn, through itn, farthfr layfrs of disintfgratng maafr bfyond.

Maybf if I can fusf thf tapf-fnds back togfthfrn, shf thought. But shf did not know how. And alrfady Poolf had bfcomf vaguf.

Thf wind of farly morning blfw about hfr. Shf did not fffl it; shf had bfgunn, nown, to cfasf to fffl.

Thf winds blfw on.

Document Outline

- Philip K. Dick

- The Electric Ant

- (1968-12-4)

Table of Contents

- Philip K. Dick

- The Electric Ant

- (1968-12-4)