1988: Need You Tonight

Love in the '80s: A New Adult Mix

Rachel Higginson

Vol. 9

Contents

Also by Rachel Higginson

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Sneak Peeks

1980: You Shook Me All Night Long

1981: Jessie’s Girl

1982: Maneater

1983: Cruel Summer

1984: Against All Odds

1985: Careless Whisper

1986: Why Can’t This Be Love

1987: How Do I Get You Alone

1989: Once Bitten, Twice Shy

1998: Need You Tonight

Copyright@ Rachel Higginson 2016

All rights reserved.

This book is a work of fiction.

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Published in the United States of America by WaWa Productions

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LOVE AND DECAY

Love and Decay, Season One, Episodes One-Twelve

Love and Decay, Season Two, Episodes One-Twelve

Love and Decay, Season Three, Episodes One-Twelve

STAR-CROSSED SERIES

Reckless Magic

Hopeless Magic

Fearless Magic

Endless Magic

The Reluctant King

The Relentless Warrior

Breathless Magic

Fateful Magic

The Redeemable Prince

THE STARBRIGHT SERIES

Heir of Skies

Heir of Darkness

Heir of Secrets

THE SIREN SERIES

The Rush

The Fall

The Heart

BET ON LOVE SERIES

Bet on Us, an NA Contemporary Romance

Bet on Me, an NA Contemporary Romance

The Five Stages of Falling in Love,

an Adult Contemporary Romance

Every Wrong Reason,

an Adult Contemporary Romance

Magic and Decay,

a Rachel Higginson Mashup

THE FORGED IN FIRE SERIES

Striking

Brazing

To Bethany, Ashley and Leslie and the nights

We stayed away watching our favorites.

To Dirty Dancing, The Breakfast Club and The Princess Bride—

The movies that made me fall in love first.

The stories that sparked the daydream.

Mr. Ferris droned on and on at the chalkboard. Prepositions and adverbs and yada, yada, yada. I should have tested out of English 101. This was kids’ stuff. I had a solid public school education; I did not need this bull.

Why hadn’t I listened to my mom?

Oh yeah, because I wasn’t speaking to her.

I fingered the corner of the letter she’d sent me yesterday. I’d only just found the guts to open it this morning. I’d read it on the walk to class, knowing I would be distracted dodging morning rush hour through the quad.

Besides, I knew what it was going to say before I ever read, Dear Cassandra.

My mother was nothing if not predictable. Well, until she’d filed to divorce my dad, anyway. She’d been the perfect housewife. Breakfast on the table before anybody left the house. Family dinners were mandatory and absolutely no television during the meal. She volunteered for every school fundraiser, bake sale and car wash. I’d been practically baptized in the garden hose at the gas station down the street.

My mom made Martha Stewart look like an amateur.

But then she’d sent her perfect reputation to hell in a hand basket and destroyed the family I thought was perfect. My older brother, Jason, had been in his senior year at NYU and hardly noticed the change in family dynamic. Once, he’d confessed that he knew it was going to happen.

But I had been living at home during the summer before my freshman year at Wharing University, so I’d had front row tickets to the entire, ugly show.

He cheated on me, the letter had started out.

It wasn’t anything I hadn’t heard before. She’d been spinning this story for months.

“Are those notes?”

I glanced over at the jock next to me, Troy Cameron. He smelled like peppermint and Old Spice.

Shoving the letter back into my notebook, I shook my head. “God, you’re nosey.”

He made a sound in the back of his throat that made me want to roll my eyes. He was nosey. Troy, football stud and all around campus heart throb, hadn’t been able to mind his own business all semester.

I was about two assignments away from asking him if he had a learning disability. There was just no way he could miss so much. It was English 101, for God’s sake!

He leaned over again and I got another whiff of his freshly showered body. His light brown hair looked darker than usual, still damp, and his t-shirt clung to his ripped arms as if he hadn’t had enough time to dry off before putting it on.

I didn’t know much about Troy Cameron, but I did know that he had practice before our eight a.m. class which meant he always sat down next to me looking like an aftershave commercial.

Mr. Ferris had sat us alphabetically. My last name was Carmichael, followed by Troy’s Cameron. We were stuck next to each other for the remainder of the semester.

None of my other classes had seating arrangements, but Mr. Ferris was a stickler for attendance and old. He needed us in the same seats every class or his fragile mind would explode.

“Do you have a pencil I can borrow?” Troy asked.

I glared at him out of the corner of my eye. “Do you have a personal bubble? You’re in my space.”

Troy looked down at the two inches separating my shoulder from his chest and smiled. It was slow and victorious, the kind of smile I expected him to make after a game-winning play. “Am I making you nervous?”

“You’re making me nauseous.” I wiggled in my seat. “I’m allergic to people.”

He made that growly noise again. “You’re allergic to happiness.”

I swirled to face him. “What is that supposed to mean?”

He leaned forward, closing the already small distance between us. “You tell me, Goth Queen.”

“Is there a problem?” Mr. Ferris asked loudly from the front of the classroom.

My cheeks heated with embarrassment and I closed my eyes briefly, hoping the entire classroom would just disappear.

Or maybe I could disappear.

Away from Troy and this classroom and my family…

“Carmichael is just letting me borrow a pencil,” Troy answered for both of us. “I forgot mine.”

Mr. Ferris cleared his throat, clearly annoyed, but thankfully went back to preaching about prepositions.

I leaned forward and quietly rifled through my backpack until I found another pencil. The led was dull which made me happy. See, I wasn’t allergic. I just needed the right opportunity.

I held it out to Troy.

He hesitated a second before taking it. Our fingers brushed and I forced myself not to drop the stupid thing. I was acting like a baby. I could admit that. But Troy got under my skin like few other people could.

No, that was a lie.

Most people got under my skin these days. It wasn’t Troy’s fault I was pissed off at the entire world. And especially jocks on athletic scholarships with perfect lives and perfect faces.

I wasn’t allergic to happiness, just his specific brand of it.

He leaned over for the third time. Our shoulders touched, but he didn’t pull back. “Thanks, Carmichael. I owe you one.”

This time I did roll my eyes. And when Troy still hadn’t pulled back, I jerked forward hard enough that he couldn’t help but get the message.

I didn’t look at him, but out of the corner of my eye I saw him raise both hands in surrender. And smile. That damn slow smile.

Class dragged on. An hour and a half of prepositions was too much for any sane person to take.

I took whatever notes I could, but mostly to keep from looking at the letter still stashed in my notebook.

He cheated on me.

He cheated on me.

He cheated on me.

The accusation rolled around in my head like a pinball. Every time I got to the end of the sentence it hit a bonus lane and zinged back into extra time.

Nibbling on my bottom lip, I wondered if she could be telling the truth.

My dad was like the superman of dads. He was always home for dinner. He had a great job at the bank. And golfed every Saturday morning with all the other country club dads in town.

He was as predictable as my mom.

But why would my mom make that up?

I had zoned out completely and nothing could have brought my mind back to class. Nothing except the dreaded and unfortunate, “Partner up!”

I immediately glanced to my right, but I was too late. Condren—I didn’t know his first name—had already paired up with Dell.

My eyes scanned the classroom as quickly as possible, but it was no use. I hadn’t exactly bloomed socially this year.

“Partners?”

I slowly turned to Troy. What other choice did I have? Glancing back at Mr. Ferris, I took a resigned breath. No. No way. Not even I was desperate enough to partner with the teacher.

Troy was smiling again. It must be the morning practice. Something about early morning oxygen must make him so happy.

Borderline euphoric.

It was disgusting.

“What’s so funny?”

He ignored me. “I don’t get it. Do you always wear black? Is it like a religious thing?”

I shouldn’t let him goad me. But… “It’s Satan’s favorite color.”

He shook his head, his lips twitching as if he had to work hard to make a straight face. “You’re a piece of work, Carmichael. I can’t figure you out.”

“Then stop trying,” I suggested. “I figured you out weeks ago and I was only disappointed.”

His blue eyes flashed with some emotion I’d never seen from him before. I almost regretted my harsh words. Almost.

But not quite.

The cords in his neck tightened and his hands gripped the edges of his desk. “You think you have me figured out?”

“Like it was hard?”

He glared at me and I could tell that I had truly pissed him off. My chest squeezed, but I tried to ignore the painful feeling.

I wasn’t mean by nature. Pissy maybe. Irritable lately. Even before my parents decided to blow up our family, I had never been the sweetest child on the block. But after enduring a hate-fueled scream fest between two people I had assumed loved each other more than anything else all summer, I was just over being nice.

If my parents had been honest instead of being nice to each other for twenty-four years, we would all be looking forward to Thanksgiving.

“Let’s hear it then, Carmichael. What do you think you know about me?” His voice had dropped low and menacing. A shiver skittered down my spine and I tried to convince myself I wasn’t scared of him. He was twice my size with muscles as big as cantaloupes, but he was a baby bunny inside that tough guy exterior.

“You’re a jock—”

“Very intuitive.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “I’m not finished. You’re a jock, born to a family of jocks, in a long line of jocks. Your dad played football somewhere, maybe here, and all he ever wanted for you was to carry on his legacy. You were the star in high school, probably all-American something or other and now you’re going to be the star here. Just as soon as you put in your dues and sit the bench for a good year. Coach wants to keep you humble. And you’re not quite ready to play in the big leagues. You try hard at everything you do, including school, but not just because of your stellar scholarship. Oh no, you try hard because that’s what Camerons do. They always give it their all.” I emphasized my point by winking at him. And then I leaned back in my chair to revel in my victory.

I could do the slow smile thing too.

“Impressive,” he murmured and I gave myself a mental pat on the back. “Except for the part you got wrong.”

Curiosity ate away at me until I couldn’t help but ask, “Which part did I get wrong?”

His lips were tilted in a smile, but it didn’t feel like a smile anymore. It felt dangerous and dark. “Try all of it. Starting with my jock family that doesn’t exist. My dad bailed before I was born. I’ve never even met the son of a bitch. And my mom died when I was three. My aunt raised me and I don’t know how good at throwing a ball she is because I’ve never seen her do it. I was the quarterback in high school, but not because I had some awesome family cheering me on. It was either football or drugs. I chose football. As for not being ready to play in the big leagues? Sorry, Cassandra, apparently you haven’t been to any of the games this year.”

I bit down on my bottom lip. Hard. It was the first time he had called me Cassandra instead of Carmichael and it would have been enough to derail me except that his story had done a hell of a job of messing with my mind.

“Cass,” I said instead.

Lame.

One of his eyebrows lifted. “What?”

“Everyone calls me Cass.”

His lips twitched. “Cass?”

I shrugged, feeling suddenly self-conscious. “It’s a nickname. So what?”

His mouth broke into a full smile and my heart jumped. I took a breath and pretended like that didn’t happen. “I know it’s a nickname,” he laughed. “It just, I don’t know, it suits you.”

I rolled my eyes. “Of course it does. It’s my name.”

He winked at me. “We’ve established that.”

I shuffled papers around on my desk, hoping to appear like I knew what I was doing. “So the assignment? We should probably work on it.”

Troy cleared his throat and tapped the pencil I gave him. “I, uh, don’t think we’re going to have time to finish it in class. We might have to get together later tonight and work on it.”

I felt a blush creep across my cheeks. We were halfway through first semester and this was the first time a guy had remotely asked me out. Sure, Troy was only suggesting it because of the assignment, but it still embarrassed me.

Gina, my best friend, was the pro at this. She got asked out all the time. But I had a hard time putting myself out there. Opening up or whatever. Especially after my parents’ train wreck of a marriage.

“I have plans tonight,” I told my notebook. “We’ll have to find another time.”

He shook his head and I instantly disliked the vibe coming off him. “It has to work. I have practice the rest of the week.”

“It doesn’t work,” I insisted. “I can’t just… reschedule.” I bit my lip, not wanting to go into specifics about the details of my plans. They weren’t life or death, but I had been counting down to this night for the entire semester. Troy Cameron was not going to get in the way.

“Listen, I’m busy the rest of the week and I have a game on Saturday. You’re going to have to move stuff around.”

Whatever small amount of camaraderie we’d established in the last five minutes disappeared. This guy was such a tool. “Step off, Troy. Tonight doesn’t work.”

Students started to stand around us, gathering their notebooks and backpacks. Troy didn’t move. He just sat there, staring at me, waiting for me to give in.

So not going to happen.

I turned to face him, towering over him for the first time ever. “Look, let’s just divide the project up. I’ll do half. You do half. And we can meet together before class on Monday to combine our projects.”

He held my gaze and I noticed for the first time that his eyes were blue. “You don’t even know what the assignment is.”

My eyes narrowed and I felt like punching something. How could he possibly know that? “Okay, Dexter. Why don’t you tell me what it is, then we can divide it up.”

His smirk was cruel and victorious. “I’ll tell you tonight. When we work on it.”

I glanced at the big clock over the exit. I didn’t have time for this bullshit. “I told you I can’t do it tonight.”

“I told you it’s the only night I have.”

“Whatever, Troy. Be a douche. I gotta bounce.”

I grabbed my backpack and shoved my notebook into it on my way out. I took the wide stairs upwards to the exit without looking back.

What was Troy’s problem?

God, what was my problem?

He hadn’t been that out of line, but I was pressed for time. And he was being unreasonably stubborn.

I found Gina waiting for me near the café. We always met here after my English class, only I usually beat her here.

Her eyebrows were lost behind her big bangs and her expression told me she couldn’t believe I would take my time on a day like today.

I shook my head and jogged the remaining few feet.

“What took you so long?” she demanded. “Oh, my god, I can’t even believe you were almost late!”

“Shut up!” I bent over to tug at the top of my knee high black boots and then wiggled my hips to adjust my short black mini. I’d grabbed my black leather jacket from the back of my chair on my escape from English, but hadn’t put it on yet.

October was freezing this year and my black tank top did nothing to protect me from the chill. I shoved my bare arms into the jacket I’d found at a thrift shop over the summer and pulled my long hair over one shoulder.

“How do I look?” I asked Gina.

She licked her thumb and smoothed out one of my eyebrows. “You need lipstick.”

I rolled my eyes because Gina always thought I needed lipstick. Our senses of fashion couldn’t have been more different.

She was a total Betty, more punk rock than anything. Her super straight, bleached blonde hair was the exact opposite of my wild black hair. Lucky for both of us, both shades were natural.

As far as wardrobe went, I stuck to varying degrees of black, and she was all about colors. Her bright green mini and knee high orange socks were practically blinding. Throw in the streaks of pink in her hair and she looked like a flippin’ rainbow.

Gina did know her boots, though. And even I could appreciate the motorcycle blacks she rocked.

She pulled out her cotton candy lipstick but I quickly shook my head. The reason we met in this exact spot on days like today had arrived. I spotted the very top of his head as he pushed through the crowd. “I see him.” She took the cue and we both subtly turned our bodies toward the main flow of traffic.

In a shameless display of desperation, I flipped my hair again and laughed loudly like Gina had just said the funniest thing on the planet.

I felt her side eye of disapproval, but totally ignored her.

He turned the corner and his entire, smokin’ hot body came into view. I stopped laughing. I stopped moving. I stopped thinking completely.

There was nothing in my head except the image of Jake Turner in all his glory.

We made eye contact across the student center and he lifted his chin in recognition. I should have done something in return… a wave or chin bob or something. Instead I stared at him, my teeth sinking into my lower lip.

His chin length hair bounced as he strutted through the crowded area. Kids on all sides jumped out of the way for him. He had this commanding presence that sucked up all the air in a room and filled out the entire stage when he performed.

He was a rock god. Even at nineteen, everyone knew he was the next big deal.

I’d told my parents that I wanted to stay close to home and them. Which was why they didn’t bat an eye when I picked Wharing. But the real reason had been Jake.

We’d grown up next door to each other, but he’d been a year older than me and his friends had always been the cool, under the bleacher crowd. My dad hated his dad and so our families had never really interacted.

I’d spent every summer of high school lying out in the backyard, hoping he’d notice that I wasn’t a kid anymore. We would talk every once in a while, and sometimes at school we’d run into each other and catch up, but I wanted more than that.

I wanted Jake Turner to see me and notice me and make out with me. At the very least.

I had never wanted anyone more than I wanted Jake. Just looking at him made my insides all wobbly and my knees go weak. I liked to think I was too cool to write his name on my notebooks with a heart around it, but even I could admit I’d burned a few tattered pages with Mrs. Cassandra Turner scrawled in black.

It was more than a little pitiful how I swooned over this guy.

But I couldn’t help it! He was Jake Fricking Turner and I just wanted to make out with him. Once. Or twice. Or have his babies.

Whichever came first.

“Stop drooling,” Gina whispered. “You look pathetic when you drool.”

I glared at her, ripping my attention off Jake for just a millisecond. “I’m not drooling.”

She brushed at the corner of her mouth. “You’ve got a little something. Right there…” She reached forward and I swatted her hand away.

“Hey, Cass, you cool?”

I nearly choked in my effort to swallow and remain calm. When I turned to face Jake I hid my surprise behind a chill expression, but I couldn’t help but wipe at the corner of my mouth just in case Gina hadn’t been baggin’ on me.

“Hey, Jake.” I nodded toward Gina. “You know my girl, Gina?”

Jake turned to her and flashed his signature smile. I tried not to start sweating.

“I’ve seen you around,” he told her. “Your boots are bangin’.”

Gina shrugged and knocked her heel on the ground. “I know.”

Jake’s smile kicked up a notch and I wanted to elbow Gina. But his attention didn’t stay with her. He turned back to me and raised his eyebrows expectantly. “You heard about Battle of the Bands?”

I tugged at my skirt and nodded. Suddenly feeling shy, I stared down at my knee highs. My boots were banging, too. “I heard something about it.”

He leaned in and I inhaled his scent, leather and his spicy cologne. Looking up at him, I had to press my lips together to keep from blurting out the truth. Which was that I knew all about Battle of the Bands. That Gina and I had been counting down to tonight for months. That the second we heard Jake and his band, Fresh Suicide, were going to be playing we camped out all night so we could be first in line to buy our tickets.

“Did you hear we’re playing it?” he asked in a low rumble.

I bravely held his gaze. “I might have heard that too.”

Half his mouth kicked up in a cocky grin. “You gonna go?”

“Maybe.”

He started bobbing his head as if he could see right through me. “Yeah, you’re going to go.”

I laughed and it sounded suspiciously like a giggle. I cleared my throat and argued, “I don’t know. Gina and I have a bunch of homework.” I stared at my friend and gave her a look that demanded she agree with me.

“We do,” she piped up loyally. “So much homework.”

He made a face. “Homework’s for noids. Don’t be lame. Come to the show.”

“We’re not lame,” I assured him.

He reached down and grabbed my hand. I nearly started hyperventilating. Jake had never touched me like this. Not once. We’d obviously touched before. I wasn’t a total prude. But not like this!

“Then come,” he pleaded gently. “I’ll get you in backstage after our set.”

I made some kind of squeaky sound in the back of my throat, but words failed. Backstage? Was he kidding? Frickin’ backstage?

Since I couldn’t speak, Jake thought he needed more than that to convince me. “We’ll hang out, Cass. I’ll show you around. Introduce you to the guys.”

“And me,” Gina added, giving me a second to recover from my Jake Turner induced heart attack.

Jake shot Gina a look. “Of course. You too. You guys will come, yeah?”

I nodded furiously. “We’ll come. We’ll be there.”

His shoulders relaxed and he rocked back on his heels. “Sick. You girls are the bomb.”

Gina grinned and added a cool, “We know.”

I still couldn’t speak. In my head, I was screaming, We’re the bomb!!!

Jake’s gaze flickered over my shoulder and his smile flattened into a straight line. “Alright, ladies, see you later.”

His hand slid from mine, up my arm to my bicep where he squeezed gently. He leaned in closer so that his lips were just a breath away from my ear. “Don’t forget to find me after my set.”

“Okay,” I whispered, barely recognizing the breathless tone to my voice.

Then he was gone. He slipped into the crowd of students still pushing toward their next class and I was too nervous to turn around and watch him leave.

“God, you turn into such a pile of goo whenever he’s around,” Gina laughed. “I’m embarrassed for you.”

I dropped my face into my hands and felt the heat of my face. “It’s so pathetic.”

“You’re kickass, Carmichael. You can’t let him get to you.”

“Let who get to you?” That came from a deep, familiar voice behind me.

I whirled on Troy. “Are you following me now?”

His eyes narrowed. “No. I go this way to my next class.”

Forgetting about my humiliation over Jake, I cocked my hip and dropped my hand on it. “Then why aren’t you still going?”

“Yikes,” he murmured. “Are you always this uptight?” When I only glared at him, he turned to Gina. “Is she always this uptight?”

I felt Gina’s curious stare but I refused to look at her. “I’m starting to think my friend is afraid of the entire male species.”

My head snapped Gina’s direction and I stuck my tongue out at her. It seemed appropriate.

When I turned back to Troy, he was grinning at me. “I can see that. She’s definitely jumpy around me.”

“Not because I’m scared of you.”

He bent down so we were at eye level for a brief moment. “Or so you’d like me to believe.”

I rolled my eyes so hard my head moved. “What do you want, Cameron? I have things to do.”

“Like the Battle of the Bands?” The humor disappeared from his expression and he glared at me impatiently. “That’s why you can’t work on our project tonight? Lame.”

“Not lame,” I growled. “Totally dyno.”

It was his turn to roll his eyes. “Well, you have time before, right? We can work on it then.”

“No,” I huffed impatiently. “We have to get ready.”

“And get there,” Gina added.

“How long does it take you to get ready?” Troy’s eyes were only on me. “Black, more black, paint your eyes black. Done. Five minutes tops.”

Something burned in the back of my throat and it tasted regretfully like embarrassment. Of course, to someone like Troy, my “look” would be nothing but a bunch of black slapped together. He didn’t get that it was a statement. Or that I happened to like the way I looked. All he saw was a social misfit that didn’t care about anything.

“Go away, Troy. At this point I’m willing to take the zero.”

He ran a frustrated hand through his perfectly Clydesdale hair. “Why are you being so difficult?”

“Personality flaw.” I let out a sigh, remorse niggling in the pit of my stomach. He looked so innocent compared to me. So preppy in contrast to my deadly.

Something flashed in his eyes and it erased the kicked puppy look, replacing it with something altogether different.

Something like determination.

Challenge.

His chin kicked up and he asked, “How are you going to get there?”

“Where?”

He made that growly sound in the back of his throat. “Battle of the Bands.”

I crossed my arms over my chest, feeling uncomfortable. But then I remembered his sob story from class. This kid wasn’t the rich snob I pegged him as. He could relate to public transportation.

Or at least he wouldn’t judge me for it.

“The bus.”

“I have a car. You can ride with me.”

A sarcastic response sat on the tip of my tongue, but his promise of a car held it back. I didn’t mind the bus, but it took forever. And in Troy’s car I could avoid smelling like metal and sweat. “How does that solve our project problem?”

“We can do it on the way. You take notes. I drive. Problem solved.”

I shared a hopeful look with Gina. A car basically trumped everything… all of my irritation, all of my convictions and moral integrity. Yeah, a car was nothing but boss.

“But what will you do when we get there? It’s a long drive.”

He shrugged, looking annoyed with my question. “And how will you get home?”

“We can take the bus.”

“The last bus runs at ten.”

I chewed my bottom lip and looked at Gina again. She bugged her eyes at me. Turning back to Troy, I looked him over again. He muscles were the kind that made me want to reach out and squeeze them- just to make sure they were as solid as I imagined them to be. His skin had been tanned and sculpted by hours outside on the football field. His hair lightened by the same sunlight. He was good looking, fine. I could admit that. In a total wrong-for-me-not-my-type kind of way.

It unnerved me that I found Troy Cameron attractive. On what planet would we ever make sense?

I blinked up at him and met those bright blue eyes. He was already watching me, already anticipating my next move. I hated that he seemed to see straight through me.

That my bullshit didn’t faze him at all.

“What are you going to do, though?” I couldn’t help but challenge him one last time. This felt bigger than an English project and a ride to a concert. This felt like a test… a game I was very close to losing. “The show’s sold out.”

His full lips spread into that same triumphant grin I’d seen earlier today. He’d won. I didn’t know what he won. But it was clear, this was Troy Cameron’s victory smile.

“I can get a ticket. That won’t be a problem.”

Gina snickered. “Of course it won’t, pretty boy.” She slapped his bicep, the same muscle I had been dying to touch just to see if it was real. Or if I was mental. “You know her dorm? Kristman?”

“I know it,” he told me without looking at Gina. “I’ll be out front at five.”

I nodded, gifting him a small smile. “I’ll bring a notebook.”

“And sandwiches,” he added. “We’re going to need some sustenance for the road.”

Gina laughed again and winked at me. “We wouldn’t want our driver to go faint with hunger.”

I let my gaze roam over the solid stone that was Troy Cameron, unable to imagine him faint with anything. But maybe a guy this big needed to eat more often to maintain those muscles.

I shook my head and remembered my plan for tonight: Jake Turner. I’d been waiting my entire life for this chance. I wasn’t going to let Troy and his muscles and promises of cars and free rides interfere.

“Let’s bounce, Cass. It’s going to take us a while to choose which shade of black you’re going to wear.”

Troy didn’t miss the dis. His eyebrows lifted but his eyes stayed playful and on me. “Later, Carmichael.”

I couldn’t help but smile. Just a small one. “Later, Cameron.”

Gina and I split up for an hour. She went back to her dorm to grab her clothes, purse, and wash her face and I needed a few minutes to read through the letter my mom sent.

Not that Gina knew about the letter. But I told her I had some shit to do before she came over and she didn’t ask any more questions.

I climbed the four flights of stairs to the top of the Kristman women’s dorm and ignored how hard I was breathing by the time I reached my room. It was always like this. I tried to pack everything I needed in my backpack before I left for classes during the day.

But if I ever forgot anything, it was a fricking trek back up these steps to get it.

This time was worth it, though!

Only a few more hours until the bangin’ showdown at Graffiti’s. My stomach flipped with anticipation and my heart hammered unsteadily. This was the night to end all nights!

I could feel it buzzing in my blood and deep in my bones. I couldn’t remember a time when I didn’t want to be Jake Turner’s girlfriend. I couldn’t remember a time when I hadn’t compared every other guy to him.

He had been the one cool thing in my life since I was five years old and tonight he was actually going to be mine.

I pushed the heavy oak door to my room open and flipped on the lights. My reflection in my mirror caught my attention and I realized I was smiling.

I couldn’t remember the last time I looked like this.

My hands fell on my flushed cheeks and I moved over to get a closer look. I’d gotten so pale recently. The days of lying out by the pool had been over since my parents split and now I spent all my free hours trying pointlessly to keep up with classes that I was going to flunk out of anyway.

My hair had darkened, too. The sun-bleached highlights I’d earned over the summer had disappeared and my dark hair was now as black as ink.

Most days I could be confused with a corpse. Like something out of Night of the Living Dead. Not that I minded. The tan, cheerleading bimbette had disappeared. I rather liked the girl that had replaced her.

Remembering the letter from my mom, I watched the color drain from my face. My backpack hit the ground with a slap against the tile floor and I pulled my toe out from underneath, hardly registering the pain.

My fingers moved numbly through my books as I searched for the letter. It was now or never.

I perched on the edge of my bottom bunk and opened the familiar stationary once again.

The words hadn’t changed. My mom’s handwriting was the same as always. It started out exactly how it had this morning.

Even though I’d willed it to change.

He cheated on me.

A stupid tear leaked out of the corner of my eye as I read the rest of the letter. She caught him cheating on her with our neighbor, Janet Finster. She was ten years younger than my mom and had fake boobs.

She was a divorcee who worked at the beauty salon in town. She smoked Misty’s and drank chardonnay by the gallon.

I hated her.

Well, now I hated her.

Once she’d offer to buy me birth control when my parents weren’t home. She said I could tell her what I didn’t tell my mom. What I didn’t tell her or my mom was that until Jake decided that I was not a little kid anymore, I didn’t need any.

Janet’s house was on the other side of our house than Jake’s. Jake lived with his old man because his mom had split when he was a baby. When I was a little girl, I used to wish that Jake’s dad, Carl, would marry Janet Finster so that Jake would always stay on my street.

Now I wanted Janet Finster to get hit by a bus.

She didn’t deserve Jake’s dad. And she sure as hell didn’t deserve mine.

My mom said the divorce was going to be final soon. They filed the papers, so now she had to wait on the lawyers and paperwork and blah, blah, blah.

I stared at her slanted, precise handwriting in horror. In the pit of my stomach, I’d known that there was no working this out. Before I even knew why they were splitting, I’d seen how determined my mom was. She wanted nothing to do with dad anymore.

She’d probably be happiest if both Janet and dad got hit by a bus.

Couldn’t say that I blamed her. This whole thing had gotten so warped. God, this sucked.

The sound of a key being pushed into the lock and the door sliding open sprung me into action. I crumpled up the letter and shoved it under my mattress. I had just enough time to swipe at the lone tear on my cheek before my roommate appeared.

She took one look at me and wrinkled her nose. “Oh, Cass. You’re here.”

I kept a bored expression. “Hi, Jill.”

The door slammed behind her and she set her purse primly on the countertop on her side of the room. Everything in our dorm was divided down the middle except the bathroom and our bunk beds. But in every other way, we avoided each other like the plague.

Her dresser sat on her side of the room, clean, organized and covered in perfumes. My dresser had clothes and underwear sticking out of every drawer and the top was covered with tapes and magazines. Her vanity area had three matching caboodle sets filled with makeup, hair benders, Noxema and press-on nails in every color. Mine had black lipstick, black nail polish and a wash cloth.

She looked around her vanity for a minute before glancing at me over her shoulder. I could feel the bad vibes already and I just wanted to bolt, but I had a major life event to get ready for and I couldn’t let her get to me today.

“Have you seen my pink banana clip?” It was her tone that made me want to hurl myself across the room and pull out her perfectly curled blonde hair.

“I haven’t,” I said instead.

She turned to face me. “Are you sure?”

I threw myself backwards on my bed and pulled at the choker around my neck. “Get real, Jill. I wouldn’t even know what to do with a banana clip.”

I felt her huff of annoyance, but she didn’t press the issue. Jill had only ever known me as goth. My explanation was perfectly acceptable to her.

Little did she know that I had an entire stack of them back home. One in every color. And a crimper that crimped hearts into my hair.

Ugh. Just remembering my former habits made me want to ralph everywhere.

I also had a caboodle. But I was less embarrassed about that.

Those things were handy.

“So you’re sticking around then? Did you realize what a waste that stupid band concert was?”

I rolled my eyes and stared at the underside of her mattress. “Battle of the Bands is not a band concert, spaz. It’s the sickest band showdown ever. Any local band who’s anybody is in it. There’s a thousand dollar cash prize for the winner.”

“So are you going or what?”

I pushed up on my elbows so I could stare at the back of her head. “Step off, Jill. I’m going, okay? Gina’s coming over to get ready and then we’ll be out of your hair.”

She glanced at her watch and went back to primping her already perfect face. “You should probably hurry if you want to catch the next bus.”

I hated how her words made me feel less than her. Just because her richie rich daddy paid for her brand new Beamer, she thought she was the tits.

And that was why I couldn’t be blamed for the words that came out of my mouth next. “We’re not taking the bus. We have a ride.”

She made a disbelieving sound and I watched her wrinkle her nose again in the mirror. “With who? Your freak friend Gina can’t drive.”

“No, but Troy Cameron can.”

She turned all the way around to stare at me, mouth ajar, eyes buggin’. I jumped off my bed and moved over to my closet to hide my smile.

I’d had my outfit picked out for weeks. I even bought a new bra for the special occasion. Black, lacy and something my mother would kill me for if she ever found it.

Whipping off my shirt just to make Jill uncomfortable, I changed undergarments with my back turned to her, then grabbed the black mesh shirt to wear over it.

The bra itself was more of a crop top and the mesh holes were really small, so you had to basically stare at me to figure out my shirt was see through, but I felt sexy. And tonight of all nights, I needed to feel sexy. I swapped one black mini skirt for another only this time I paired it with my fishnet stockings. I’d managed to snag a few holes in them, but they looked good like that.

“You’re not serious?” Jill finally hissed.

I glanced at her over my shoulder and shrugged. “Why would I lie about that?”

Gina knocked on the door and shouted, “Open up, Miss Popularity! We have innocent boys to corrupt!”

I smiled and turned toward the door, but Jill beat me to it. Before Gina could even step into the room, Jill slammed her with questions. “Are you really riding with Troy Cameron tonight? Or is the psychopath lying to me again?”

Gina pushed past her by ducking under her arm. “She only lied to you one time. And that was for your own good.”

“How is telling me my blue eyeshadow causes cancer for my own good?”

Gina plopped down on my bed with a dramatic sigh. “Have you ever looked in the mirror with that stuff on? Believe me, it was for your own good.”

Jill was too worked up to take the bait. “Are you going with Troy Cameron tonight or not?”

Gina’s mouth spread into a wide grin. “Jealous?”

“Obviously not. Mark is coming over tonight and I’m not planning on him leaving.” She turned to me while I worked on lacing up my boot. “So don’t bother coming back after the show. You can crash with your friend.” Her lips pursed and then she added, “Or Troy Cameron since that’s like a thing now.”

“It’s so not a thing,” I assured her. “Just because I’m getting a ride from a guy doesn’t mean I’m going to give him a ride. “

Jill made a squeaky noise. “You’re so gross.”

“And you’re so…” I chewed on my bottom lip, deciding which insult to hurl. There were just too many to choose from.

A horn honked down below and even four stories up we were drawn to the sound. Gina and I rushed to the window just in time to see the upper half of Troy’s body lean out the driver’s side window so he could wave at us.

“Please tell me that’s not his car,” I laughed.

He honked again and waved fanatically.

“Pretty sure that’s his car.”

It was impossible to miss the rust orange station wagon taking up the entire drive down below. The car didn’t look like it could make it across campus, let alone all the way to Graffiti’s. But it was too late to take the bus now.

I stepped back from the window and checked out my hair one more time. I scrunched my thick hair in my hands and quickly applied some more eyeliner and mascara. Turning back around to Gina, I couldn’t help but ask, “How do I look?”

She smiled at me. “Sexy. That shirt is totally hot.”

I caught my bottom lip in my teeth again. This would work. This had to work! Jake Turner would finally notice me and we’d end the night by riding off into the sunset. Or go back to his apartment. Or with just a really hot makeout.

I wasn’t exactly picky at this point.

I just needed Jake. And it had to be tonight.

“And me?” Gina asked. I checked out her red plaid, pleated miniskirt with black, lace up, knee high boots and white tank top—the kind my brother wore under his shirts. My friend was a so slammin’. There wasn’t even competition.

“You’re hot, Gina. The boys will be drooling.”

“Then, let’s go, my friend. Our chariot awaits.”

We grabbed our purses and hurried through the door. Just before it closed I grabbed it and poked my head back through. Jill was still staring at is in horror.

“If you or Mark touches any of my stuff, I’ll make voodoo dolls of you both and give you crabs.”

She made that same squeaky noise again, but I didn’t wait around for her comeback. Having this image did come with certain benefits.

Like people assuming you dabbled in voodoo for instance.

At least my possessions would be safe.

For tonight.

“Ready?” Gina asked me as we hurried down the stairwell.

I smiled at her. “I’ve been waiting for tonight my entire life!”

“You’re going to slay him, Cass. He’s seriously going to fall over dead when he sees you.”

A laugh bubbled out of me. “Let’s just hope he at least kisses me first.”

“You sit shotgun,” I pleaded with Gina when we reached the lobby.

“Why?”

“Because I have to sit by him in English, so my Troy quota is full.”

She laughed and shook her head. “You know him better. You sit by him.”

“He smells good,” I told her. “He doesn’t have much of a personal bubble, but he smells good.”

“Let’s just both sit in the back,” she suggested. “He can be our taxi driver.”

I breathed out a sigh of relief. “Good idea.”

Only when we got to the orange monstrosity, the passenger door swung open and a massive human jumped out. Gina and I both gasped and took a step back.

Troy was now sitting on the ledge of his window, peering over the top of the car with that cocky grin on his face. “Ladies, this is Mikey. Mikey, this is Cass and…?”

“Gina,” she announced with a curtsy.

Both guys smiled, but the new one jerked his chin and said, “Sup, Gina?”

She didn’t say anything. I had been expecting smart assey and sarcastic, but she just smiled at him and waved.

He was definitely another jock. From his tall build and muscled arms, I could tell he was one of Troy’s tribe.

Great, two football meatheads to keep us company. This night just kept getting better and better.

“You a big Fresh Suicide fan, Mikey?” I didn’t want to like this guy, but he definitely had more points with me than Troy—just because he wasn’t Troy.

“They’re so sick,” he agreed. “I catch all their shows when I’m here.”

My icy heart melted a little. I couldn’t hate someone that loved Fresh Suicide as much as I did. “Did you see them the last time they played Graffiti’s? It was nuts.”

He sounded genuinely disappointed when he explained, “We had a game out of town. But I heard it was insane.”

“Cass knows Jake Turner,” Gina added, a smug smile lighting up her face. “They’re like actually friends.”

Mikey’s eyes got big and he exclaimed, “Nu-uh!” but I didn’t miss Troy’s grunt of disapproval. Apparently Troy was not a Fresh Suicide fan. “Are you for real?”

“It’s legit,” I told Mikey, choosing to ignore Troy completely. “We were neighbors growing up. He said he’d get us backstage after his set.”

“Dude!” Mikey laughed. “You were right, Cameron. This girl is radical!”

I glanced at Troy, who looked super uncomfortable. Had he really called me radical? Something smooth and warm burned through me. I tried to ignore the sudden jolt of nerves through my system, but it was impossible. Even if I couldn’t stand Troy, it was still nice to be complimented.

I wasn’t completely emotionless.

“Let’s go,” Troy called out, banging the top of his rusted ride.

Mikey stepped back and held the passenger door wide for me. “After you, Cass. The cool kids get to sit up front.”

“No, it’s okay. I’m—”

Mikey had already moved on, forgetting about me entirely. “Let me get that for you,” he told Gina, swooping in to open the back door.

His eyes stayed on her the entire time she crawled into the backseat. First on her face, then on her ass as she tried to keep her skirt down and not flash anyone.

“What’s the hold up, Carmichael?”

I leaned down so I could meet Troy’s blue-eyed gaze. “Nothing.”

“Then get your ass inside, we have places to be!”

I complied, sliding into the passenger seat. I tugged on my skirt lest I flash anyone unnecessarily too and finally settled as comfortably as possible in the giant orange monster.

I avoided looking at Troy completely until he said in a low voice, “Seatbelt.”

I turned my head and took him in for the first time. His light brown hair was pushed back, away from his face and he was sporting a fresh shave. He looked so different than how he showed up to class in dark jeans, a white V-neck t-shirt and a brown leather jacket.

My mouth went dry and I licked my lips, trying to find moisture and sanity. My brain also decided to go blank and I blinked at him cluelessly. “Huh?”

He tugged on his own safety belt. “Your seatbelt. Can you buckle it please?”

“Uh, sure.” I reached back and pulled the seatbelt around my waist, clicking it into place. When I turned back to him, his gaze was floating over my body taking in my short skirt and the small holes of my shirt. I cleared my throat and his eyes snapped to mine. “Good?”

He cleared his throat, his voice dipping lower than usual when he said, “Yeah, we’re good.”

His long fingers turned the keys in the ignition and I had to smile at the rabbit’s foot dangling from the chain. He didn’t strike me as the superstitious type. But really, what did I know about Troy Cameron? He might be terrified of black cats for all I knew.

He drove deftly through the student parking lot and beyond campus. He seemed to know the area well and I almost asked him if he was from here, but I held my tongue. I wasn’t here to be friends with Troy. We just had a project.

And Gina and I needed a ride.

No big deal.

“Oh, shit,” I groaned. “I forgot my English notebook.”

Gina and Mikey had fallen into easy conversation in the back seat and since Mikey had rolled his window down a crack, we couldn’t hear them very well.

But when Troy glanced over at me, registering the small size of my purse, his eyebrows shot up and he exclaimed, “Did you forget the sandwiches too?”

Mikey heard that. He slid forward and threw his gigantic arms over the long bench seat. “You forgot the sandwiches? I was promised sandwiches!”

I glanced back at Gina, who was trying not to laugh. “Where were we going to get sandwiches?” I demanded of them. “It’s not like I have ham and cheese just sitting around in my dorm room.”

Troy cocked his head back. “Why not?”

“Because I have a dining room punch card. I eat my meals in the cafeteria.”

He still looked confused. “But what about when it’s not meal time. What do you do for snacks?”

“How many snacks do you eat a day?”

Mikey and Troy shared a look, grinning at each other. “Enough that we keep ham and cheese in our dorm rooms,” Mikey laughed. But then he sat back and rubbed his belly, pulling his shirt up to reveal a tanned stomach and lots of muscles—too many muscles.

I caught Gina staring.

“I’m not going to make it through the night,” Mikey declared. “I need food.”

Troy glanced at his watch. “We have time to stop. There’s a diner on the way.”

“We don’t have time to stop,” I argued. “We’re already cutting it close.”

“We have time.” Troy’s hand shot out and grabbed my knee, squeezing it in his giant palm. “Chill, Carmichael. The opening bands will suck anyway. You’ll get to see your boyfriend play. Promise.”

“He’s not my boyfriend.”

Troy looked over and caught my gaze for a brief moment before turning back to the road. There was something in those blue eyes I couldn’t read, something surprisingly deep and heated. I held my breath until he looked away.

“Then what’s the big deal? If you two aren’t going out, why do you care so much?”

Troy was nothing if not nosey. “Just because we’re not going out, doesn’t mean I don’t want to.”

“Gross,” Troy grumbled. “With him? He’s a walking STD. The dude has slept with half of campus. I wouldn’t touch him with a ten foot pole.”

The hairs on the back of my neck stood up defensively. “That’s good to know. I’ll be sure to let him know you’re not interested in a relationship with him.”

Troy let out a bark of laughter. “He’ll be relieved, I promise you. And not because of me. Any sane person at Wharing would be happy to have a relationship with me.” His cocky grin said he actually believed that. “But your boy Turner isn’t interested in a relationship, Carmichael. Not with me. Not with you. Not with anybody.”

“You don’t even know him.”

“I don’t have to. I know guys. And I know his type.”

“You’re telling me you’re not the same type? Football stud? Jock extraordinaire? Come on, give me a break.”

“Yikes, Carmichael. Is that all you think of me?”

I shifted in my seat so I could watch his reaction. “Are you telling me you don’t have a new girl every night? Or at least every football game?”

He leaned toward me and I inhaled peppermint, Old Spice, and now the leather from his jacket. He smelled too good not to have girls hanging off him all the flippin’ time.

But he met my gaze for just an instant and I couldn’t help but see the sincerity in his expression. “I respect women, Cass. I don’t need a new girl every night. I just need the right girl to stay with me every night.”

My stomach flipped at his words and the way he looked at me when he said “right girl.” I managed a shaky reply. “That’s sweet of you.”

“Isn’t that what you want, too?” he pressed. “I don’t take you as the one night stand kind of girl.”

I shrugged and tore my eyes away from him and his stupid, sensitive face. “I’ve had a really bad year,” I confessed. “I just want one night. One night to forget everything. One night to get over everything.”

The warmth of his hand surprised me when it slid over my shoulder, landing on the back of my neck. He held me there, comforting, calming and sending tingles all over my body. “I know things kind of suck right now, but you’re worth so much than what Jake Turner can give you. And besides, he’s an idiot. If you’ve known him your whole life and he hasn’t noticed you yet, he’s dumber than I thought he was.”

Part of me wanted to be outraged on Jake’s behalf. But the other part, the bigger part, was flattered he thought so highly of me.

I liked that he stuck up for me. Ever since my parents split, I hadn’t felt like anybody had been on my side. All my parents cared about were themselves. I knew they had to do what was right for them, but there was nobody that even wanted to listen to what I thought.

Except Troy.

“Why are you being nice to me?” I asked in a soft voice that I could trust not to crack.

His cocky grin reappeared and he winked at me. “I’m always nice to you, Carmichael. You just never notice.”

My cheeks heated with embarrassment and I realized that was true. I had been irritated with him all semester, but not because he had been rude or mean. He was overly friendly. Always talking to me when I wanted to be lost in my own head. Always trying to get my attention when I was supposed to be paying attention to the professor.

“Sorry I’ve been such a bitch to you.”

His grin widened. “Hey, you haven’t been a bitch.” I gave him a look. “At least not every day. You always let me borrow a pencil.”

I laughed because that was true. “You’re right. I’ve actually been really nice to you.”

His warm chuckle filled the front seat and my heart picked up speed. That was a sound I could very much get used to. His hand slid from the base of my neck to my shoulder and then down my arm to my hand before he pulled away. “But it’s like what Coach always says, you can always try harder.”

“Smooth, Troy. Very smooth.”

He laughed some more. “I’m just warming up, Cass. Get ready to be impressed.” Before I could say another word, he made a sharp right that had me gripping the door handle. “Sorry!” he told the car. “Almost missed my turn.”

“Where are we going?” He’d turned off the main highway and onto a gravel road that didn’t seem to lead to anywhere. Nerves rioted inside of me and this was when I wondered if Troy Cameron was not charming and likable after all, but an ax murderer with the perfect cover.

“We’re hungry, remember? I know a good place just a little out of the way where we can grab some grub before the show.”

“I really don’t want to be late,” I told him.

He shook his head playfully. “You won’t be. I promise. Well, maybe just a little bit. But this place has the best waffles in the entire state.”

“I don’t even like waffles.”

“Pancakes then? Root beer floats? Chicken fried steak?”

I stared at him. “You’re not going to give up, are you?”

“Not a chance.”

“Fine, then. Let’s go get your waffles. But I better not miss a second of Fresh Suicide.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” he promised.

It was his tone that made me nervous. I knew he was hungry. Just looking at him made me hungry. Er, for food. Because he was so large and obviously needed to constantly eat to keep up his energy.

But there was something else there too. Something that made me wary and skeptical of his real motives. He didn’t have to be as big of a Fresh Suicide fan as me, but there was something else there too.

He didn’t want me to go tonight.

He didn’t want me to see Jake.

But Troy didn’t realize how long I had waited for tonight. How long I’d been waiting for Jake.

Nothing was going to get in the way of that. Not even Troy Cameron.

The gravel road continued for five miles down the road before turning back to pavement. We drove by endless cornfields and rolling hills until finally civilization could be seen again.

And by civilization, I meant a gas station, a bar, the remains of a post office and a diner. These buildings belonged to some town, but even though I was relatively local, I had no idea which town.

Troy parked the station wagon at the edge of the lot where he would be the least likely to run over unsuspecting pedestrians and we all piled out.

“Have you been here before?” Gina asked Mikey. I could hear the skepticism in her voice.

This looked like the kind of place that served dog instead of beef on greasy plates that were never quite clean enough to eat off of.

“Sure,” he agreed. “This place is boss.”

Gina crossed her eyes at me. I bit down on my lip to keep from laughing. Of course, this wouldn’t just be an easy ride to Battle of the Bands. Of course, we’d have to go through all of this.

Griffiti’s was the most crucial haunt for all Wharing students. It was an eighteen and older club run by an old biker named Mad Dog that had lost his leg to some infection. He couldn’t ride anymore, so he opened a bar. When he couldn’t make enough money to pay the bills, he’d started carding and opened the doors to the younger, college crowd.

Wharing was only a thirty minute bus ride to Grafitti’s, but you had to have a ride home if you wanted to stay late. State College was thirty minutes in the opposite direction.

Mad Dog had no problem paying his bill these days.

College kids loved this place, Gina and me especially—although because of our lack of transportation, we didn’t get here as often. And we had never taken a detour to this dive.

Troy held the door for us and Mikey and Gina walked in first.

I wrinkled my nose, afraid of where this night was going. “You sure this place is legit?”

He smiled down at me. “I’ve been coming here my entire life.” He lifted up his white t-shirt in a brazen display of muscle and lean body. His abs flexed and I had to hold my hands behind my back to keep from tracing the lines. “You’ll be safe, Carmichael. There’s nothing to worry about.”

When I continued to stare at his abs, he dropped his shirt and nudged the underside of my chin with two of his fingers. I reluctantly lifted my gaze to his.

His eyes were warm, the deepest blue I’ve ever seen. “See something you like, Cass?”

The small tilt to his lips told me he was teasing me, but the rasping in his voice made my knees weak.

“I’m just hungry,” I whispered.

His head dipped down and his scent and body heat and overwhelming aura enveloped me. “Me too.”

“You guys gonna stand in the door all day or can we eat?” Mikey shouted from a vinyl booth against the window, breaking the spell that had captured us both.

I shook my head and tried not to trip over my own feet as I moved into the diner. Fall had turned cool in our neck of the woods and the closer the sun dipped toward setting, the crisper the night got. I was thankful for the warm diner and the smell of coffee in the air.

We walked by a table with a mom and two kids. One of them had the syrup bottle in hand and a huge plate of strawberry covered waffles. Troy was right. Those waffles looked bomb.

Troy shot me a smug wink over his shoulder and mouthed, “Told you.”

I stuck my foot out and kicked the bottom of his shoe in the middle of his step. His leg flailed and he nearly face planted on the black and white checkered floor.

“You’re in for it now, Carmichael,” he growled playfully. Spinning around faster than I had ever seen anyone move, he lunged for me.

I jumped back, shocked by this man and his superhuman reflexes. What had I just done? “Leave me alone!” I squeaked, but it was ruined by my smile.

“Not a chance.”

He grabbed me around the waist and tossed me over his shoulder, spinning me around wildly. I kicked my legs in the air to keep from hitting anything with them and held onto his shoulders for dear life.

By the time a waitress appeared I was screaming and laughing and gasping for breath.

“Troy Albert Cameron, you put that poor girl down right now before you scare all my customers away!”

Troy stilled immediately, his hands landing on the backs of my thighs. I lifted my head and dizzily found Gina’s amused gaze. “Albert?” we said in unison.

He squeezed my thigh and slid his hand up just below my ass. I squeaked again and hit his shoulder.

The waitress went on, “I don’t know what you think you’re doing, son. But I raised you to be a gentleman.”

He squeezed the back of my thigh again, forcing me to agree with the waitress. “He is definitely not being a gentleman right now.”

For that comment, he spanked me. Actually spanked me.

“Troy Albert!” I hollered. “Put me down right now.”

Glancing around at the diner from my point of view, I could see that we had captured everyone’s attention. My cheeks warmed with embarrassment, but my entire body heated for an entirely different reason.

A reason that still had his hands all over me.

“Do as the lady asks,” the waitress pleaded, sounding exceedingly exhausted. “Before the whole town is gossiping about it.”

“Yes, Aunt Grace.” Troy sounded sufficiently reprimanded and I couldn’t help but feel like the winner.

I heard Troy’s aunt move back behind the counter and I was worried I’d lost my ally, but Troy’s hands landed on my waist next and he lowered me to the ground. He kept my body close to his, sliding me down the front of him. When I landed back on my feet I grabbed his jacket to steady myself.

My head swam from all the spinning, but it was Troy’s piercing blue eyes that left me truly unbalanced. “Sorry,” I whispered. “I’m dizzy.”

His hands stayed on my waist, holding me in place. The heat of his body burned through my flimsy shirt. My breath caught in my throat and my heart fluttered wildly.

Troy’s mouth dipped towards mine and he teased, “Are you saying I make you dizzy?”

“I’m saying…” What was I saying? What was I doing?

This night was supposed to be about Jake Turner, about the one guy I had wanted my entire life. This night was supposed to be about forgetting all of my problems and just letting go.

Gina’s voice cut through my confused haze, shouting, “Get a room you two!”

Troy’s expression turned murderous, but I was thankful for the interruption. I jumped out of his arms and tugged at my skirt, terrified that I’d mooned the kids eating the waffles.

I stepped around Troy and slid into the booth next to Gina. I couldn’t look at her or at Mikey, so I stared at the Formica table and tried to catch my breath.

I felt Troy slide into the booth across from me more than saw him. He had this energy that I could suddenly feel. It buzzed over my skin and made my stomach flip with anticipation. I didn’t know what to do with it.

In an hour I was going to be screaming for Jake and then hopefully hanging out with him backstage. His invitation to find him after his set had gone way better than I could have hoped. All I had to do now was get to the show.

The tip of Troy’s boot found mine under the table. He nudged me once, then twice, then three times until I finally lifted my gaze and looked at him.

“Get the waffles, Carmichael. I’ll even pay for them if you don’t like them.”

I lifted one eyebrow. “Are you serious?”

He tapped the table with one of those ridiculously long fingers. “As a heart attack.”

My teeth sunk into my bottom lip. It was too good to pass up. “Fine, Cameron, you win. I’ll try the damn waffles.”

The waitress reappeared. This time Troy stood up and kissed his aunt on the cheek. “Grace, these are some friends from school. Everybody, this is my Aunt Grace.”

Grace, a no-nonsense squat woman with big hair, bright makeup and tan pantyhose beneath a blue uniform dress and white apron, rolled her eyes at her nephew. “Names, Troy. I need names.”

He smiled at her, apparently used to her attitude. “You know Mikey from the team,” he started. “That’s Gina. We just met today. And this is Cassandra Carmichael. We have English together.”

Grace’s face softened at the mention of my name. I shifted uncomfortably as she stared at me with a secret smile on her face. “Cassandra Carmichael, I think I’ve heard my nephew mention that name once or twice.”

I gave her a shaky smile in return. “Everyone calls me Cass.”

She picked up my hand and held it in hers. “Well, Cass, it’s very nice to meet you. I’m so glad Troy finally got you in the diner.” While I opened and closed my mouth like an idiot trying to think of something to say, Grace let go of my hand and moved back to business. “Now what’s everyone having? My apple pie is fresh and coffee is brewing now.”

Everyone ordered waffles and a cup of coffee, including me. Grace reminded us to behave and disappeared to get our drinks, leaving us to sit in the wake of that awkward conversation.

Or at least me.

“What did your aunt mean by what she said to Cass?” Gina asked. She pinned Troy in place with her laser vision and I actually felt afraid of her on his behalf.

He shrugged and stared at the napkin he was currently turning into a triangle. “She was just being nice.”

Gina wasn’t about to give up. “But what did she mean when she said that she was glad you finally got Cass into the diner?”

Troy tightened the edges of his triangle napkin. “Oh, did she say that? I… I… don’t know what she meant by that.”

Gina slapped the table. “You’re a liar.”

I watched the top of Troy’s ears turn bright red and some of the awkwardness I felt faded.

Mikey leaned forward, slapping Troy loudly on the back. “Leave my man alone, Gina. So he’s had a little crush on the goth queen. Ain’t nothing to be ashamed of.”

Troy’s cheeks were just as red as his ears now and I felt my face match the tomato color.

Gina laughed loudly and clapped her hands together. “Shut up!”

Poor Troy. He shifted in the booth, but now the napkin was in tatters. “Some friend you are,” he complained to Mikey. “Don’t you know when to keep your mouth shut?”

Mikey threw his hand toward me. “Oh, come on, dude. You threatened that kid in your biology class for the tickets to the show and you’ve been handsy with her all night. Surely she figured it out by now.”

My mouth dropped open and my eyes bugged out of my head. “You threatened someone in your biology class?”

Troy still wouldn’t look at me. I half expected him to start burning a hole in the table by how hard he was staring at it. Then at least my superhuman suspicions about him would be correct.

“He was a total Dexter,” Mikey laughed. “He nearly pissed his pants!”

“Get out!” Gina gasped.

Troy’s head snapped up and glared at her. “I didn’t really threaten him. I just… I just suggested that I might need the tickets more than he did.”

Mikey slapped Troy on the back again. “He told the kid he’d steal the poor guy’s girlfriend if he didn’t cough up the tickets.”

“Troy Albert Cameron,” I murmured. I couldn’t decide if I was flattered or horrified.

His gaze finally moved to mine. My heart squeezed for him, empathetic for how embarrassed he was. But when he started talking, he sounded just as cocky as always. “I wouldn’t have really done it,” he swore. “I was just in a hurry.”

“Why?” I couldn’t help but ask, even though I had a pretty good idea already. “Why did you do it?”

His leg started bouncing erratically under the table. The toe of his boot still touched mine and the jerky movement made my entire body vibrate.

But I didn’t pull away.

“You needed a ride,” he confessed.

I thought of something else. “The English project?” He had been dancing around what it was all day. And he didn’t seem to care at all that I didn’t have my notebook.

His lips twitched, but he restrained his smile. “Hey, listen, I’ve been trying to talk to you all semester. You haven’t given me the time of day.”

I grabbed a napkin, balled it up and threw it at him. “You’re unbelievable!” I thought of something else and I nearly smacked him. “You’re not skipping practice are you? Because even I’m not worth that!”

He laughed at me, a low chuckle that did funny things to my insides. “No, that’s legit. We really didn’t have practice tonight, which was why I had to make up the English project. You forced my hand.”

“I didn’t know you were interested in me,” I told him honestly. “You could have just told me.”

He glanced up at the ceiling briefly. “Yeah, right. You’ve been shutting me out all semester.”

“Sorry,” I whispered and realized I meant it. “I’ve been kind of lost in my own head this year.”

His gaze found mine again. “I know.”

The waffles appeared along with the coffee and conversation halted while Grace passed everything out. The syrup was shared around the table and everyone dug in, anxious to get away from the conversation.

When Gina and Mikey had fallen into an argument about something music related, Troy nudged my foot under the table again. I looked up at him, anxious to hear what he had to say. “Would you have said yes before now? If I had asked you out?”

“No,” I told him honestly. “I totally underestimated you before today.”

He smiled at my candidness. “Yeah? And what about now? What if I ask you out tonight?”

“I don’t know… You’re threatening nerds and lying about homework. You’re kind of a bad influence.”

We both knew that was a joke, since he looked like the golden boy and I looked like something straight out of the mouth of hell.

To keep from continuing the conversation, I dug into my waffles, sticking a huge bite in my mouth. Oh, my god. Troy was right. These waffles were bombdiggity.

I tried not to moan, but my eyes definitely rolled into the back of my head.

When I came down from my waffle high, I found Troy watching me expectantly. “Well, Carmichael? What do you think?”

He was obviously right. These waffles were the best thing I had ever tasted. But we also had a bet. And he might be the football stud, but I hated losing. “They’re horrible,” I told him around another bite. “So gross.”

“I guess that means I’ll be paying for them then,” he conceded.

“Duh.”

And then I finished the entire plate of waffles.

But Troy still paid for me.

After the boys paid for our meals, we waddled out to the parking lot to head to the show. The sun sat just on the edge of the horizon, ready to dip down any second.

It would be dark soon and this far away from city lights, it would get really dark. I was anxious to get to the show.

During our waffles we’d avoided any more talk of Battle of the Bands. It was beyond awkward now that Troy’s feelings were out in the open and I was headed to see a different guy.

We’d still had fun though. Troy had spent the entire night confusing me. I knew I wanted Jake. I could only remember ever wanting Jake.

Jake was also… I didn’t even know how to say it. Jake was like this idea… this thing I held onto when everything else was going wrong. Jake Turner was the thing that filled up my daydreams and gave me something to wish for.

But had I ever considered him a real possibility? Or even a real person? Beyond the fantasy?

I’d learned more about Troy Cameron in one day than I knew about Jake Turner after living next door to him for almost my entire life.

That wasn’t right.

On the other hand, Jake had invited me backstage tonight. That was huge! This was my chance to put reality behind the myth of Jake Turner and discover the man I knew he was.

The man I knew was right for me.

At least for tonight.

Troy opened my door for me and stayed close while I approached the car. “You good, Carmichael? I didn’t freak you out or anything did I?”

I looked up at him, unable to keep from teasing him. “I always suspected that you were mental. But now I have proof. I like being right.”

His smile made my stomach do that flippy thing again. “You look good tonight, Cass. Can’t say that I’m sorry about any of it.”

I sucked my bottom lip between my teeth and struggled to find the right thing to say. In the end, I settled on, “Thank you. For the compliment and for driving us tonight. Even if you did have to bully an innocent geek.”

He leaned in, brushing his nose along mine. “Worth it,” he whispered.

I sucked in a breath, expecting him to kiss me, but he pulled back instead and jogged around to the driver’s side.

Ignoring the pang of disappointment slicing through me, I plopped down on the seat and slammed the door shut.

“Battle of the Bands!” Mikey hollered out the window as Troy pulled back onto the main road.

The boys rolled down the windows and the cool air whipped through the car, making my hair crazy and my skin pebble with goosebumps. But I didn’t care. This had been the perfect night so far. Maybe it was nothing like I expected, but it had been everything I needed.

Rolling down my own window, I let my hand dangle in the rush of air. I held it flat and let it dance in the wind, waving up and down as the breeze took it.

My hair tangled in front of my face, so I grabbed it with my other hand and pulled it back out of my eyes.

In my peripheral, I caught Troy staring, so I turned to him. The expression on his face made my heart thump heavily and I had to whisper my question. “What?”

His voice was deep and sincere when he said, “You’re fricking beautiful, Cass. Do you know that?”

I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t swallow. I had been told I was pretty before. In high school, when I played by the rules and dressed like everyone else. Guys had told me I was pretty and gorgeous and hot and whatever. But nobody had ever sounded like Troy.

Nobody had ever been this sincere… this struck by me.

And how he thought that when I looked like this was beyond me. I dressed like this on purpose—to keep people at bay. I had enough shit in my life right now, I just wanted the rest of the world to leave me alone.

Except Troy wasn’t capable of that.

He invaded my life and my space and my head, whether I wanted him to or not. He saw past the black clothes and the heavy makeup and somehow saw me.

Knew me.

It didn’t make sense to me. But looking at him now, the way he stared at me… the way he made me feel so… noticed… it didn’t really matter. He didn’t have to make sense.

He just had to keep being him.

“Troy, look out!” Mikey yelled from the backseat.

The intimate moment Troy and I had been having across the front seat of the car was abruptly ruined when Troy looked forward again and slammed on his brakes. Something fat, rodent-like and mean looking was currently waddling across the gravel road.

The orange station wagon swerved sharply all over the place as Troy did his best to avoid the fugly animal. One of his arms shot out to hold me in place, as if he could protect me with just the strength of that one appendage. Gina and I screamed when the car did a complete three-sixty and then drove off the road into the brambled ditch.

Our bodies jerked forward and then back when we finally came to a complete stop. We were no longer on the road. Or facing the right direction. But everything was put into perfect clarity when the absolute silence was interrupted by a telltale pop and then a loud hiss.

My side of the car dipped down as the popped tired deflated quickly.

“Well, hell,” Gina mumbled.

Troy’s outstretched arm dropped to the seat and he stared blankly out the window. “Is everyone alright?”

We all murmured our fines, but it was the car I was most worried about. We’d been driving for at least fifteen minutes, so it was a long walk back to the diner. And an even longer walk to Graffiti’s. But most importantly, it was a hella long way back to civilization and the chances of someone stumbling upon us in the middle of nowhere were slim to none.

“What was it?” Gina asked. “What nearly killed us?”

“An opossum,” Troy answered. “I should have bulldozed the frickin’ thing.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Troy Albert Cameron, campus bully, defender of wildlife.”

His head snapped to mine, “Keep it up, Carmichael. See what happens.”

I pressed my lips together and made a fake zipping motion.

After another one of his charming smiles, he let out a slow breath and dropped his head on the steering wheel. His fingers reached down and turned the car off. “Well, we better start walking. Otherwise we’re likely to rot out here.”

“Why?” Gina squeaked. “Are there wild animals?”

Both boys laughed at her. “There’s nothing out here,” Mikey said. “That’s the point. Nobody’s going to find us unless we get our asses moving.”

He had a point.

By the time we rolled up our windows and Troy locked the car, the sun had completely disappeared behind the horizon. The stars came out to wink at us and a clear moon lit up the road for us to see.

We walked for what seemed like forever—long enough for Gina to start complaining about her feet in those boots and Mikey to offer to give her a piggyback ride. My feet were fine in my more practical boots, but the temperature had dropped drastically and I couldn’t help but shiver in the cold night. Without a word, Troy shrugged out of his leather jacket and wrapped it around my shoulders. It was still warm from him and smelled like heaven. When I slipped my arms into the sleeves, they dangled way past my hands.

I should have felt small and slight compared to Troy. But the opposite happened. His jacket made me feel safe… secure… protected.

We had finally made it to the main highway when headlights appeared out of nowhere. Rescue!

Troy immediately stuck out his thumb and I did the same. I had taken a lot of buses in my life, but hitchhiking was new to me.

Although I’d always fantasized about hitchhiking around the States. I couldn’t imagine a better summer than seeing as many of the fifty states as possible with nothing to worry about except my thumb and where I was going to lay my head that night.

The truck saw us and slowed down when it got near. I hoped that it would stop and I was very relieved when it finally slowed down.

The driver leaned over and rolled down the window to a super old, light blue truck. “Car trouble?” he asked. He reminded me of one of the dwarves on Snow White. He had a crazy white beard that matched the color of the hair sticking out of his ears. His truck smelled like oil and gas and his denim overalls were covered in grease.

Sneezy—that was who he reminded me of.

“Flat tire,” Troy explained. “Back that way.”

The driver glanced in the direction Troy pointed and gave a grim nod. He didn’t want to go back that way. Damn, he wasn’t going to help.

“But we need to get to a concert tonight,” Troy added quickly. “Are you going by Graffiti’s by chance? We’ll take a ride that way and worry about the car later.”

“Yeah, I ‘spose,” the truck driver said. “I can drop you by there. It’s on my way home.”

Troy glanced over his shoulder with a huge grin on his face. “Thanks, mister. We really appreciate it.”

The stranger waved us off. “Yeah, well, you’re going to have to squeeze up here with me. I’ve got dead chickens in the back.”

Since not one of us wanted to confirm whether he was lying or not we decided to squeeze up front on the bench seat.

Mikey got in first and Gina climbed onto his lap—the only place to sit. Then Troy got in and I climbed onto his lap next.

Troy reached out with his long arm and shut the door hard enough to rattle the car. The stranger made a grunting noise, but didn’t complain.

He pulled back onto the road and stared straight ahead. Meanwhile I was left to sit on Troy’s lap and try not to swoon.

Troy eventually wrapped his arm around my waist to keep me from falling off him. I held onto his arm, but sat rigidly upright.

This was too intimate.

Too close.

His body heat covered my back and his muscular thighs made a very comfortable seat. I wanted to lean back into him and curl into the curve of his body.

But those were crazy thoughts.

Jake Turner, my brain whispered to my heart. But my heart hardly cared about Jake at this point. Which made me wonder if I had ever really cared about Jake… or was it the idea of him that had kept me so loyal all these years?

Secret embarrassment bubbled up inside me and I tried to push it down. I tried to pretend like I had a right to love Jake—or even like him. I tried to pretend like there was a reason to be so hung up on him or to expect that something would happen between us.

But I couldn’t.

I couldn’t even trick myself.

I realized that Jake had been safe for me. Because he was an idea and a daydream, he couldn’t hurt me. He couldn’t leave me.

Before this last year, he had only been a crush. But recently I’d turned him into something more. Something he could never be for me.

And now there was this super-hot, super nice guy sitting just behind me and I wanted to justify a relationship that was probably never going to happen?

God, I was so confused.

Troy’s arm snaked around my middle and pulled me back, closer to his body. “Sorry,” he murmured. “This is more comfortable.”

I tilted my head so I could see him. “I bet it is.”

His devilish smile told me everything I needed to know. “Hey, I’m taking you to meet up with another guy. I gotta get my kicks where I can.”

Guilt mingled with my already confused thoughts. “That was nice of you. You could have made us go back to the orange-mobile and deal with your tire.”

His chuckle vibrated against my back and butterflies erupted in my belly. “The orange-mobile?”

“Have you seen it?” I asked him. “It looks like my Grandma Florence’s sofa if it had four wheels and an engine.”

“Hey now, that orange-mobile got you to Graffiti’s, didn’t it?”

“No,” I argued. “No it did not. It got a flat tire and gave up. It didn’t even get us anywhere near Graffiti’s.”

“Well, close enough,” he added. “If we wouldn’t have gotten those waffles, we would have been fine.”

I turned and smacked his shoulder playfully. “Those waffles were your idea!”

“And you should be thanking me for them.” He squeezed my side and I squirmed spastically. “You loved them.”

“I’ll never admit that. Not if I keep getting to eat them for free.”

“Well, you have to keep hanging out with me for that. So…”

I elbowed him in the chest. “You’re relentless.”

His nose skimmed over the shell of my ear, whispering, “And you’re perfect.”

“This is it, right?” the driver asked loudly, completely interrupting our moment.

I blinked up at the wide, flat building that housed Graffiti’s and tried to work up some enthusiasm. This was it! Jake Turner! Fresh Suicide! Backstage!

Only they all fell flat. If I was honest with myself, I could have rode around in this stranger’s truck for the rest of the night and not even noticed that I missed the Battle of the Bands.

As long as I got to keep sitting on Troy’s lap.

“This is it,” Mikey replied. “Thanks again for the ride, man.”

“Welcome,” the guy grunted.

Troy’s hand released my waist and opened the door for us. He helped me down from the cab and then turned to help Gina too. When he turned back to me, his eyes were sad and his smile had completely disappeared.

My chest ached at the sight of him like this. I had only had tonight with him, but his expression made my heart hurt.

“Ready for this?” he asked.

I wanted to tell him no. Or that I wasn’t sure. Or that maybe we could find a ride back to that obscure gravel road and then hang out at his aunt’s diner all night.

Instead, I nodded my head and tossed out a casual, “I was born ready. Are you ready for this?

He didn’t say anything. He just shrugged and grabbed my hand so he could lead us in the building.

It was in that moment that I realized I was about to make the biggest mistake of my life.

We handed over our tickets and got MINOR stamped on our hands in black ink at the door. Mad Dog was there to check our IDs and welcome us with a grimace and grunt toward the stage.

I couldn’t help but smile as we stepped into the smoke filled room. A bar lined one side of the open space, filled with college kids old enough to drink or lucky enough to have a fake ID that didn’t look fake. Half the filthy floor was covered with tall tables and barstools and the other half cleared out so kids could smoosh together in front of the stage. It smelled like sweat, cigarettes and the sticky sweet hint of bud.

Fresh Suicide was already on stage, jamming to one of my favorites. Jake had his guitar strung over his front, shouting into the microphone. The place was going nuts.

We pushed through sweaty bodies in the back, making our way as close to the stage as we could get. Troy leaned down and shouted something in my ear, but it was too crazy loud, I couldn’t hear him.

I turned and shrugged, motioning at my ear. The expression on his face made me falter. He looked wounded… hurt. His eyes were tight with frustration and I could tell he did not want to be here.

I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be here either anymore.

Gina grabbed my hand, unaware of the moment passing between Troy and me, and tugged me along. I let her lead, weaving us through the pressing crowd.

It wasn’t until we’d made it close to the stage that I realized what Troy had yelled. I turned around to look for him, but I already knew he didn’t follow us.

He was going to hang in the back of the room. That’s what he had told me.

For the first time all night, I no longer had to worry about Troy. And I hated it.

Gina threw our hands in the air and screamed for the band. She started jumping along with everyone in the crowd and I no longer had the ability to worry about Troy anymore. It was join them or die.

I threw my other hand in the air and tried to get into the music that I loved so much. I watched Jake and tried to feel the same excited anticipation I always felt when he was around. I tried to lose myself in the crowd and the energy and the night.

But all of it had lost its luster.

The music was too loud, grating on my raw nerves. The crowd was too close, too hot, too aggressive. The band sounded good—they always sounded good, but they couldn’t capture my attention like they used to.

And Jake…

We were close enough that he noticed me. His chin lifted in acknowledgment and there was a twinkle in his eye when he checked me out.

But I felt nothing.

My heart didn’t hammer, my stomach didn’t flip… my mind didn’t swirl with a hundred daydreams about the guy I’d wanted for so long.

Because he wasn’t real.

The man I’d made him into, the idea I’d dreamed up… was just that. An idea.

Troy was real. And interested in me. And frickin’ amazing.

I leaned up on my tippy toes and searched the back of the bar, but I couldn’t find him. There were too many people between me and him.

God, why had it taken so long to see what was right in front of my face this whole time?

The song ended and the crowd went wild. I was forced to turn around and hold my ground before I got trampled under the press of the crowd.

Jake leaned into the mic and shouted, “Make some noise! Show them who you want!”

The crowd screamed louder, stomping their feet and going wild for the band.

“Tell them who you want to win!” Jake screamed into the mic.

I forgot about Troy for a minute and let myself enjoy this moment. No matter how my feelings had changed in the last few hours, Jake was still something to behold. I was happy for him and this night. I didn’t need to hear any of the other bands to know that he had won it. The crowd was totally bonkers for him right now.

Someone started chanting “Fresh Suicide” in the back and soon enough the whole place was yelling it. The walls seemed to shake and the air vibrated with their demands.

Jake strutted around on stage, eating up the attention and glory.

Gina and I looked at each other and laughed at the bands antics as they soaked in the massive praise.

We were trapped where we were. The crowd pressed even closer now that the music was over and someone would be crowned king of the night.

One of Mad Dog’s bartenders ran on stage and motioned for the other bands to come out. The stage filled with goth, punk and hairband rockers all grouped together with their own.

The crowd still hadn’t given up its Fresh Suicide chant and it took the MC several minutes to calm down.

“I hear ya!” he shouted at them. “But let me do my frickin’ job!”

Eventually it got quiet enough he could talk. “Besides,” he continued, flashing an amused smile, “We still gotta pick a second place.”

The crowd erupted again, totally insane with cheers. The MC gave up and tossed the microphone on the stage. He walked over to Jake and the drummer, a kid named Cory with a legit Mohawk. He grabbed both of their hands and raised them high into the air. Both Cory and Jake jumped and shouted their approval. Cory took one of his drumsticks and flung it into the crowd. The crowd screamed louder.

The whole thing was beyond outrageous. I loved every second of it.

Eventually things calmed down and the people around me stopped crushing me. One of the older, regular bands took the stage and now that the competition was over, everyone started to just hang out.

Jake and his band cleaned up their stuff around the band performing. Gina and I hung out off to the side. I should have gone straight to find Troy, but it wasn’t that simple.

And I was nervous.

“Jake’s coming over here,” Gina shouted over the music.

I followed her gaze and saw that he was looking at us, but stuck in a conversation with some fans. He waved when he caught my eye and nodded his head toward the back.

When all I did was wave back at him, Gina nudged me with her elbow. “I’ve never liked him,” she admitted in my ear.

My eyes bugged and I stared at her. She had never been anything but supportive of my crazy infatuation. “What?”

She smiled unapologetically. “Like Troy said, he should have noticed you sooner. You’ve known him forever, Cass. What’s he been waiting for?”

I shrugged, feeling like an idiot. It was hard to face this truth. I didn’t want to think that it was me, or even that it was him. In my head and all the other times I’d thought about it, I blamed me being too shy or him being too wild. I dressed like a skank, but we both knew I wasn’t one.

My entire life I’d been a good girl and Jake knew that.

It wasn’t until my parents fell apart publically that I gave up on what people thought of me altogether.

“So what are you saying?” I asked her.

She pointed towards the bar. Looking over my shoulder, I found Troy and Mikey at a tall table, looking thoroughly rejected. Even Mikey had his head on his arm. They weren’t talking to each other. They were just sitting together like a bunch of depressed losers.

It made me smile.

“He likes you, Cass.” She had to shout over the music, but I could still tell by her tone that she approved of him. “He’s not totally lame either.”

I thought about the whole day and how much effort he’d gone through to hang out with me. He’d been trying to get my attention the whole year and I’d been too self-absorbed to notice.

God, I was such an airhead.

“So what are you going to do?” Gina asked but before I could answer her I was forced to decide.

Troy sat up straight and tall, all his attention had returned to me. But he wasn’t looking at me. He was staring behind me.

That was how I knew Jake had finally caught up with me. I hadn’t felt Jake appear or noticed that he was near. And even when I turned to him, my body didn’t react in any way. I didn’t get tingles or heart flutters or anything.

And I didn’t see the man of my dreams standing in front of me. I just saw Jake. An old acquaintance and sometimes friend.

“Great show,” I told Jake before he could mention backstage.

His grin stretched from ear to ear. “Wasn’t it? We killed it up there. That was for sure one of our best shows ever. Did you see how we opened? Man, it was boss.”

I just smiled at him. I hadn’t seen how they opened, but he didn’t need to know that.

“That’s awesome.”

“There was a scout here tonight,” he went on. “I haven’t seen him yet, but Cory and Mel saw him earlier. I think he’s gonna come talk to me. I mean, he better come talk to me. We rocked the shit out of this place tonight.”

I glanced over at my shoulder, anxious to find Troy. But he wasn’t there anymore. Either was Mikey. They’d both disappeared.

Panic started to billow inside of me. I didn’t want Troy to think this was what I wanted or that I went backstage with Jake. He needed to know that I wasn’t into Jake anymore.

And maybe that was the craziest thing of all—that after my entire life of wanting this one thing all it had taken was one night for me to see that what I wanted was someone else.

Who I needed was someone else.

Jake kept talking about the band and the scout and the night, but all I could think about was Troy and how I was about to let him leave without knowing anything I felt.

I stumbled forward, anxious to end this conversation and this ridiculous idea of Jake and me. “I have to go,” I blurted.

Jake stuttered to a stop and raised his eyebrows. “What?”

“I—I… I have to go. My friend just left and he’s my ride.”

Jake cocked his head to the side, obviously confused. “I thought we were going to hang out tonight?” The innuendo in his words wasn’t lost on me and it hit me once again how different Troy and Jake were.

Troy had been right. This would be a onetime thing for Jake. He didn’t know me. He didn’t care about me. He lived next door to me and didn’t know shit about my parents.

Troy sat by me in one class and had figured it out from the start.

“We’re not going to,” I told him honestly. “Not tonight. Not any night.”

“What the hell, Cass?” Jake’s eyebrows scrunched down, but his voice lacked any real disappointment. There were plenty of girls he could take “backstage” if I wasn’t willing.

“Sorry, Jake. I have to go. For real. But hey, good luck with the band and stuff!”

I had already started walking away when I heard him ask, “The band and stuff?”

But I didn’t have the time or the patience to deal with his wounded ego. I picked up speed, pushing through the lingering crowd.

Gina appeared at my side, “That was frickin’ awesome! Holy shit, Cass! That was righteous!”

I smiled at her, feeling very righteous. “I know!”

We shared a laugh, but it only lasted a second. “Where’d they go?” she asked.

We burst from the building, sucking in the clean, cool air from outside. My hands skated down the front of me and I realized I was still wearing Troy’s jacket.

“I don’t know,” I mumbled. “But we have to find them.”

We looked around the parking lot, growing more desperate as every second passed. Finally we neared the highway and Gina pointed, “There!”

They stood on the side of the road with their thumbs hitched. Cars drove by but nobody had stopped for them yet.

We started running toward them. I was so afraid a car was going to stop and I’d miss my opportunity. And be stranded at Graffiti’s at the same time.

“Troy!” I shouted when I was close enough. “Troy!”

His thumb dropped and he slowly turned toward us. He shoved both hands into his pockets and stood there while we hurried over to them.

I was winded by the time we reached them, but we’d caught them. That was all I cared about.

His mouth stayed pressed in a frown, but his eyes flashed with hope. “What are you doing here? I thought you were hanging out with Jake tonight.”

“No,” I panted. “Not tonight. Not any night.” He took a step forward. “It’s you I want, Troy. I need you.”

His mouth broke into a huge grin and he threw his arms out just in time to catch me as I launched myself at him. Our lips crashed together in the next second, finally getting that kiss we’d been trying to steal all night.

His mouth was hot against mine, his lips soft and sweet compared to the hardness of his body. He wrapped his arms around my waist and held me to him while he kissed me senseless and drove me wild.

I hadn’t kissed that many boys in my life. And when I had, they’d always been compared to Jake. But now, in this moment with Troy, Jake was the last thing on my mind.

Troy Cameron knew how to kiss. By the time he pulled away my lips were swollen and I was thoroughly turned on. Luckily, he kept his hands on my waist or I probably would have tipped over.

He did make me dizzy.

When he kissed me like that, he made me totally dizzy.

Gina and Mikey were making lewd catcalls at us and clapping as loud as anyone had during the show.

“It’s about damn time,” Mikey laughed.

Troy pressed his lips to my temple. “It is about damn time, Carmichael.”

My smile stretched as wide as it ever had. “You should have made up a fake English project months ago.”

He winked at me. “I’m an idiot.”

“No,” I told him sincerely. “I’m the idiot. I was lost in my head the whole semester. I should have seen you sooner.”

He leaned down, catching my mouth in another searing kiss. “You notice me now. That’s all that matters. And we’ll get through all this stuff together. You don’t have to worry anymore, Cass. I’m here for you whenever you need me.”

“Tonight,” I whispered against his cheek. “I need you tonight.”

“Then you can have me.”

My heart swelled and my stomach flipped. I had been waiting for an epic romance all my life, but I’d been waiting on the wrong guy.

Troy Cameron was more than I could have hoped for. He was better and sweeter and hotter than anything I had ever experienced in my life.

And he was loyal.

That night was just the beginning of our love story. It started with a crazy night and a boy that was willing to do anything for me. And it was still like that today.

He got me through that wild night. And then he helped me get through first semester and then my parents’ divorce. He was there for me when I had roommate problems and life problems and I was there to cheer him on during every game and play and event in his life.

He asked me to marry him at his aunt’s diner four years later and there was no other answer for me than yes. Then he’d kissed me until the patrons had begged us to stop.

He still kisses me like that today.

He still steals all my attention and makes me feel like we are the only people in the room. In any room.

Troy Cameron was the beginning and end of my happily ever after. Without him, I would have never survived that night or first semester or any of the curveballs life threw at me after.

I needed him that night.

And I’ve needed him every night since.

“Before the internet…before sext messages, selfies, like buttons, and d**k picks…epic loves and broken hearts played out offline, on mixtapes that became the self-made soundtracks of a generation.

Love in the 80s: A New Adult Mix is a collection of ten contemporary romance, new adult, stand-alone novellas set in the 1980s.

Written by award-winning and bestselling authors, one digital novella will be released on the last Friday of each month January - October in 2016.

The title of each love story will be a hit song from the year that the novella represents.

Love in the 80s: A New Adult Mix was created by UTOPiAcon founder, Janet Wallace, and is co-produced with award-winning book cover designer, Regina Wamba (together they are WaWa Productions).

Join the Love in the 80s Facebook event party for giveaways and surprises all year long!

My name is Tina. I’m a freshman at USC, a good student and friend…

And I’m a victim.

Hot guys make my brain turn to mush. So, the fact that I was arrested then survived a massive earthquake only to be shackled to the fox next to me can all be overlooked, right?

Okay, so I was arrested before I met Luke. A tremor that caused a blackout at the LAPD precinct where we were being held. Although technically, I wasn’t shackled to him, I was handcuffed, but still. Any and all lapses in my usual—totally sane, I might add—judgments, are his fault. Totally.

I wouldn’t typically do the things I did. I’m no outlaw. I’m a college student.

Available now

The road trip from Minnesota to Pennsylvania and back is meant to be the final adventure before four friends go their separate ways in the fall.

Except nothing goes as intended, beginning with the unexpected addition of Catherine Tate, Jessie Keller’s new girlfriend. Sam Kent denies his attraction to her while simultaneously deflecting unusual interest from his pal Hannah Lopez. Dickie Dean is the socially inept book lover who surprises them all.

Amidst a malfunctioning vehicle, being caught in the middle of a robbery, beer drinking, mosquito attacks, and other teenage drama, the five experience courage, broken hearts, fear, and laughter. Most importantly, they make memories.

Available now

Watch out, girls. Here she comes.

There’s always that girl. She’s popular, beautiful, and has everything together. The one with the perfectly teased hair, arms full of colorful (but coordinated) bangles, and expertly painted bright-pink lips.

A teacher’s pet. Daddy’s girl.

Everyone loves her.

Because everyone is afraid to challenge her.

Kelly Ross is that girl. She uses her powers of popularity for good… her own good. She doesn’t care who she hurts.

She always gets what she wants.

Including your man.

When she walks down the hallway in her hot-pink heels and ruffled denim miniskirt, all the boys’ heads turn. And all the girls start whispering.

Man-eater.

There hasn’t been a single guy Kelly hasn’t been able to chew up and spit out.

Until now.

Kelly has finally met her match. He’s been there all along, and he’s the exact opposite of everything you’d expect.

Available now

Isadora Lancaster is in hell.

She passed on a European vacation with her parents, choosing instead to spend an amazing summer with her boyfriend. But that plan changed when she walked in on him and another woman. Now Izzy’s stuck in a town she’s avoided since high school, and has to face uncomfortable truths about her past—including the best friend that abandoned her during their senior year. The boy that broke her heart.

Available now

Love the music—never the man.

At twenty years-old, Sabrina Caroline was America’s sweetheart pop star, until she took a year off to treat her social phobia that her cut-throat-manager/mom paid top dollar to keep quiet. Now as part of her comeback, she’s forced into collaboration with one of the hottest rock bands topping the charts—Birds of Prey—whose lead guitarist happens to be her biggest mistake…and her biggest regret.

Hawke Owens never imagined Birds of Prey would surpass the basement of the Duncan High School for Performing Arts, let alone score them a European tour. But success has its price, and for him, it’s being forced to work with the only girl who shattered his heart—Sabrina Caroline. She’s everything that he remembers and more, every memory and fantasy come to life. At first touch, their connection is electric, but it’s also as strong as her determination to follow her number one rule—she doesn’t date rock stars…even though she’s become one.

Loving her again is as natural as holding his guitar, but she’s destroyed him once, and this time the stakes are higher, more public, and the consequences life-altering. Against the backdrop of the birth of MTV, they’ll have to choose between the demands of their label, and the demands of the heart.

Available now

James Stryker, the bad boy of our neighborhood, had a voice that could put babies to sleep. His name still punches me in the gut, along with the lie he tried to hide.

James told me he would protect me forever and I entrusted him with all my deepest, darkest secrets. I was positive that I knew all of his, too…until the end of summer 1985.

What I found out ruined me. I could only imagine the gossip.

So what did I do? I bailed.

Without another word to James, I left home and planned to never, ever return. I vowed that I’d never have to face James Stryker again.

Fast-forward seven years.

One simple phone call from home changes everything and threatens to silence all the promises I’ve whispered to myself.

Most of all, I can’t shake the gnarly feeling that the most careless whispers are the ones I haven’t even heard yet.

Available now

Spring break her junior year is supposed to be Tori Allen's chance to catch the eye of wicked hot Corey Sanders, the bouncer at The Cube, an eighteen and under club.

Only what should have been a night to remember turns into a grody tryst that chases her into the arms of inner city boy, Dylan Black.

A malfunctioning photo booth, a crazy game of midnight madness bowling, and suddenly her memorable night becomes one totally rad adventure.

Available now

Lyssa Taylor totally thinks she has her future planned out. Being eighteen with strict parents, a relationship is the last thing on her mind.

But when she and her best friends arrive at the cabin for their last summer vacation before they head off to separate futures, the handsome Tyler Preston—her secret childhood crush and best friend’s (off-limits) older brother—is also there.

Now, what was expected to be a simple, fun vacation, turns out to be one spark-igniting, complicated mess.

Available Now

Some women make extra money on the stripper pole. Nancy Corbin makes hers screwing with the minds of Nashville's less than upstanding men.

As the owner of the underground business, Once Bitten, Nancy makes it her mission to give scorned women the justice they deserve.

She dates the scum of a man, flatters him with her charms, then strikes.

It's only business.

Until the ex-girlfriend of tabloid-proclaimed Romeo, Chad Harris, comes in. According to the ex, Chad is the worst Nancy has ever had the pleasure of manipulating. After their first encounter, Nancy isn't quite so sure.

As business becomes pleasure, will Nancy be able to finish the deal? Or will Chad prove to be more of a challenge than she ever realized?

When it comes to payback, who ya gonna call? Once Bitten.

Coming soon