When Body Language Goes Bad
Author: Scott Adams
Date: 2003-03-02 05:00:00+00:00
Keywords: Comics; Humor; Fiction; Comic Strips; Cartoon; Graphic Novels; Comedy; Business; Comic Book
Description: Some might think that the corporate scandals of 2002 could make it difficult to find anything funny about today's business world. But When Body Language Goes Bad proves it will take more than that to slow down the inventive wit of Scott Adams, who clearly is never at a loss for finding hysterical things to mock in corporate life.This marks the 21st collection of Adams' wildly popular comic strip, Dilbert, which is featured in more than 2,000 newspapers worldwide. This book updates loyal readers on the so-called careers of Dilbert, Alice, Wally, Asok the intern, and other regulars as they wallo
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
Rights: Copyright © 2003 by United Feature Syndicate, Inc.

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DOGBERT® and DILBERT® appear in the comic strip DILBERT®, distributed by Universal Uclick and owned by Scott Adams, Inc.

When Body Language Goes Bad copyright © 2003 by Scott Adams, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of reprints in the context of reviews. For information, write Andrews McMeel Publishing, an Andrews McMeel Universal company, 1130 Walnut Street, Kansas City, Missouri.

E-ISBN: 978-1-4494-1763-5

Library of Congress Control Number: 2002111043
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Introduction

My body speaks several languages and that’s not counting the stuff that comes out of my mouth. For example, my knees speak the African clicking language for the first few hours after I wake up. It’s a sarcastic sound and I assume they are mocking me. I plan to record it someday and have it translated, as soon as I can find the African clicking embassy.

My face likes to send messages that are wholly independent from my brain. Sometimes my brain will be thinking a happy thought such as “I like cookies” while my face is saying, “I buried a salesman in my basement.” This phenomenon worsens when I’m deep in thought. I’ll be mentally writing my next hilarious Dilbert episode in my head while wandering around at the mall and the next thing I know children are screaming and the townspeople are gathering torches. That, along with the fact that my clothing size is pi, is why I hate shopping.

Needless to say, I am what you might call “unapproachable.” I have been going to the same gym for the past ten years and no stranger has ever tried to start a conversation with me. Part of the problem is that when I lift anything heavier than a cotton ball I contort my face as if someone had just driven a railroad spike through my thigh. And on the odd occasion where I initiate conversation—say to ask if a piece of equipment is available—I am handicapped by a severe propensity to mumble. I can overcome the mumbling after I get warmed up, but because I work at home, I often go for hours with no human contact. So my first few words after a silent stretch always come off sounding like a demonic threat.

Me: “Are you done with that piece of equipment?”

What they hear: “I will disembowel you and send your soul to the Dark Region!”

Luckily, both interpretations give me immediate and unlimited use of the equipment. I guess I can’t complain.

www.dilbert.com

Scott Adams

Table of Contents

- Half Title Page
- Title Page
- Copyright
- Dedication
- Introduction
- When Body Language Goes Bad