Date: 2016-07-25 04:00:00+00:00
Description: Sparrow wants to be the greatest warrior in all of Warscapia. But he’s not. He’s just a kid with mediocre magic skills. When he’s asked to team with axe bro Rock and ninja girl Jade, he will have to fight for his life and much more as the crew takes on some of the most brutal and fantastic monsters in the land of Warscapia—a videogame fantasy universe like none other.

WARSCAPIA

A Novel by

Garrett Boggs

Cover Art by

Charis McIntyre

To those about to Rock,

I salute you

CH 1: Welcome to Warscapia

My last step into WarriorCore is the Death Match. I have to kill a Frost Goblin in a gladiator style battle.

I've taken down a few Goblins here and there, but never a Frost Goblin. I've done my research though—I just need to avoid his ice attacks, and I'll survive. I think.

Someone smacks me on my shoulder. I look up and see Spade, a veteran with gray fuzzy hair and scars on his knuckles. "Sparrow, fight smart out there,” he says. “That’s the key. Also, just remember to be confident. You got this.”

I crack my neck. "Yeah dude, I got this. For sure." I really don't want to let Spade down. But I’m not so sure if I’ve really got this. Actually, I might totally not have this.

I check my WatchGuy, a clear metal screen that covers my wrist and stretches towards my elbow. The device records my magic and health points on top of many other functions. A bright display reads 60/60 magic points and 100/100 health points. I'm full—ready to go.

Spade points towards iron doors painted with a flaming skull and crossbones. "Go get ‘em kid."

My sweaty hands reach for the doors, skin cool against the metal. All I have for defense is some low-tier leather armor that isn’t really going to block much.

And there it is: the fight zone. It’s not that impressive or anything, just a giant boxing ring. Empty stands surround the ring. Alone, in an abandoned stadium. I don’t feel so good about this.

In the center lies a wooden sword. Shoot—I'm not a sword guy. Why did they give me a sword? Give me some throwing knives, seriously. But whatever, it’s better than mixed martial arts. I’m really bad at MMA.

I climb into the ring and walk towards the sword. BANG! A Frost Goblin emerges from a cloud of thick smoke. Blue skin drags over frozen eyes. It's short, under five feet, but Goblins are stupid quick. He brandishes his spiked shield and squeals at me—a weird goblin squeak. Sort of sounds like an angry cat or something.

But yeah, back to his shield. The giant, spiked shield is his weapon and defense.

I snatch my wooden sword.

Goblin conjures an ice spike. Looks razor sharp. He could gut me with that real easy. Goblin fires the spike. Battle reflexes kick in, time slows, and I roll to the right. Ice shatters on my left.

I charge, closing the distance. I'm right in the Goblin's face now.

A shield smashes into my stomach. Screaming, I fall back. My leather armor is torn. Stupid armor. Already pretty much ruined.

Adrenaline surges as I scramble to my feet. Sixty magic points. Better make them count. First, I'm calling a Shadow Ram.

"Call: Shadow Ram!" Forty-five points left.

The Goblin dude flinches and calls another deadly icicle.

A swirling whirlpool of darkness materializes. Out of the dark matter I hear a feral cry.

Behehehehe. I just summoned a goat with pitch black fur.

Darn it! Another Shadow Goat! To be completely honest, Shadow Goats pretty much suck at everything. They are only good for a cheap distraction.

Whatever, time to improvise. "Charge: Shadow Goat!"

My goat charges the Goblin. The Goblin scowls as he chucks an icicle at the sprinting farm animal. Ice meets goat fur, dissolving the poor animal into ashes.

I make my move while the Goblin has his head turned. My sword slams into the back of his skull. The creature sprawls forward and counterattacks with a burst of ice particles. I'm struck in the face with a wall of ice. It sinks into my eyes, burning with cold. Blinded, I swing the sword around aimlessly.

Shoot! I better blind him back. "Trick: Flash Bomb!" I yell. White hot light fills the room.

I run with no direction. My foot hits something and I'm down. Dropping my sword in surprise—I've just tripped over the Goblin.

A giant shield smacks me in the head, but I snatch it and yank. Got it!

Scrambling to my knees, I frantically shield slam a blurry figure. It screams and dissolves into dust. Breathing heavily, I drop the shield. Goblin down.

I won! Call me “Sparrow: Frost Goblin Slayer Dude!” No wait. That's a bit too long and sounds kind of weird. Never mind all that.

Just call me Sparrow. That’s my real name, if you were wondering. I know it sounds like a nickname and all, but it’s not! I swear, Sparrow is my birth name.

OK, fine! My real name is Jasper. But I don’t like it much. It just…doesn’t fit me. So call me Sparrow! Alright?

As my vision returns, all I see is a pile of frost dust on the floor of the ring—the remains of the Goblin.

I glance at my WatchGuy. Thirty magic points and only thirty-six health points left. Cut that a bit close. Shoot!

Zero health points, and I'm a dead man. No respawning in Warscapia. If you run out of health points, you die. Permanently. Like, you aren't coming back. Unless you're a zombie, of course. Those undead dudes just keep getting back up and moaning and eating brains and doing weird zombie stuff like that. Stupid things.

Jittering from post-fight adrenaline, I crawl out of the ring. The thick iron doors stand out, flaming skull and crossbones looking ghastly as ever. That's right, flaming skull! I'm not afraid of you anymore! I'll take you down, just like I took down that Frost Goblin.

The first thing I see on the other side is Spade's rough smile.

"Good fight, kid. That's some risky stuff, using a Flash Bomb point blank."

"Wait, how did you know?"

Spade raises a grizzled arm, his silver hair covering part of a WatchGuy screen. "Caught it on my WatchGuy. Come on kid, give me some credit here."

"Oh, of course.” I smile, feeling silly. “Yeah, I just do what it takes."

Spade smacks me on the back. "Heck yeah kid. I like it. We need some magic tricks every now and then, right?"

Sounds good to me. "So I'm in?"

"You beat the Frost Goblin, didn’t you? You're in!"

I try to act cool, but my heart flutters. I feel like screaming YES! YES! I MADE IT! But I just smile, trying not to freak out in front of my new boss.

This is huge. I finally have a job. After years of training, I got it. I'm in one of the most elite monster hunting guilds in the world. I’m in WarriorCore.

Spade yells, "Teleport Group: WarriorCore Headquarters!" And there we go.

I'm in a giant room with three long tables. Hunters in myriad garb sit around in solid oak chairs, drinking, talking, and laughing. They are decked out in serious battle gear. One warrior sports an eye patch and a sweet sword. He sends the blade spinning right into a nearby bullseye—this dude is a total dead shot. I spot a big guy arm-wrestling an even bigger she-troll. The troll is a mass of blue muscles and battle scars. She slams the guy’s knuckles into the table, splintering the wood in a nasty crunch. The big guy calmly picks splinters out of his fist while the she-troll emits a victory scream. An intimidating bunch. And I'm located on a platform where they can all see me.

"Here he is!” Spade pats me on the back. “Our newest recruit: Sparrow!" I wave to the crowd, but they are dead silent. Well, this is awkward.

Spade clears his throat. "WarriorCore is here to protect and serve. We are fearless fighters! I don't want you to back down from anything, you hear?"

"Yes sir!"

They erupt in wild cheers, banging their spears, axes, and bows on the long tables. The she-troll breaks out into a flashy jig. Whoa, she's got mad moves. I feel a bit better.

"You enter at the bottom, the rank of Noob. You will receive five gold on completion of your first mission. After two successful missions, you will be promoted to a new rank. Understood?"

"Yes sir!"

The hall explodes in applause, perhaps some more people breaking into dance, but I don't stick around to watch because Spade hurries me off the platform for a look around. We walk down a back hallway made of some shiny blue stone. It might be Aquarock, but I can't tell for sure.

"Alright kid, don't get in any trouble."

"Yeah, I got it.” I nod earnestly. “Thanks again, sir. I won't let you down."

Spade looks at me with gray eyes. “Just do the right thing, and you'll do great. First thing is a meeting with two new recruits in Room 221. Don't miss it."

Spade disappears through heavy double doors.

Man, everything is happening so fast. I shiver at the thought of other recruits. I hope I make a good first impression, but I probably won’t. I haven’t told you guys yet, but I typically come off as a bit odd. OK, let's be honest here—I always come off as a complete weirdo.

I wander around the headquarters looking for Room 221. Dang, this place is the real deal. Monster heads populate the walls. Holy crap, there's an Onyx Dragon head! That thing has ridiculous power. Look at those fangs! Take one of those to the head, and it's all over. Apparently, the Onyx Dragon's scales are as hard as stone. For real, this dragon is one vicious beast.

Oh yeah, Room 221. Need to get there. But wandering around, it's hard not to get distracted. Spell tomes, adamantium swords, stuffed monsters. It's awesome. This is like…my daydream! I'm so glad that the Frost Goblin didn’t wipe the floor with me. That would've sucked.

There it is, Room 221! The number is scrawled on a wooden tablet in front of the classroom. I peek around the corner.

Looks like the other two are already here! I scamper into the classroom and take a seat at a desk towards the back.

There is a guy and a girl. They both look around my age. The guy is muscular and leaning back in his chair like he is too cool to care. The girl is playing with her blackish hair in jittery movements.

An Orc walks into the room and stands at the chalkboard like he is a teacher or something. The creature has thick green arms, a short red Mohawk, and blocky yellow teeth.

"My name Draven,” he rumbles. “You group. Three months, you." He points at us. "Are battle partners. Hunters. You introduce."

I hesitate, and the girl pipes up. "Hi! I'm Jade!"

The guy is next. "My name is Rock."

"Yeah, I'm Sparrow," I say.

Draven nods. "Good. I go. Know each other. Your strength and weakness. That is vital." Draven gives a short, muscular bow. "Draven tell you first mission soon."

Draven yells. "Call: Assorted Food!" A bunch of chicken legs and some cobs of corn appear in front of us. Wow, that’s some high level magic. There is no way I could summon food. I tried once and created a bread monster that bit me on the thigh. I still have nightmares about that sometimes.

The Orc leaves. Alright this is cool. We got food.

Rock smiles and grabs a chicken leg. "Looks like we have a team.” He takes a giant bite and continues through a full mouth. “This is going to be, mmmh, sweet.” He chews some more. “You guys got skills?" A piece of chicken slips out of his mouth and slaps the floor.

I'm going to let Jade answer first. In the meantime, I grab a piece of corn.

Jade takes the bait. "I'm mainly a sneak-thief! I'm fast, I can hit about anything with a bow. I'll use my magic to buff my arrows, make them explode or pierce armor, you know. Stuff like that. I can use nunchucks if I’m out of arrows. But I mainly love my bow! It’s so fun to shoot things! What about you, Sparrow?"

She peers at me with shining green eyes, half-smiling, like I'm funny or weird or something.

"Oh me?” I shield my face behind the row of corn, trying to block all forms of eye contact. “Yeah, I mean...I'm sort of a jack of all trades. I try to do it all, but as a result, I'm kind of bad at everything. I've been training Summoning recently, check this out."

I take a bite of the corn for good luck, and start to focus. I don't want to mess this up.

"Call: ElectroEagle!"

Shards of electricity start to form a bird. Sweet, looks like I got this! I've done it before, and I’m going to do it again! ElectroEagles look awesome and can shoot deadly lightning bolts—my kind of monster.

"Quack." There sits an ordinary duck with a shiny green head. A common male Mallard.

In raw embarrassment, I drop the corn.

Fan-freaking-tastic. I just screwed up in front of my new group.

The duck starts to waddle around the room, shaking his tail like he owns the place. He even takes a couple bites of my corn.

"Ahh, crap. That's embarrassing." I run my hand through my hair and check the WatchGuy. The duck took thirty magic points! Shoot—that's costly. Stupid duck thing.

Jade laughs. "Aww, it's cute!" She picks him up and he starts to waddle in midair. This isn't helping. My face feels hot.

Rock violently snaps a chicken bone in two. "That's pretty cool. Duck thing. Almost an eagle. Anyway, I'm an axe dude. I just like to bash. I don't mess around much with magic." He discreetly flexes his arms, as if proving his strength. Holding a shattered chicken bone in each hand, he looks like a total carnivore.

Jade is now scratching the duck under the wing. "I wonder if they grouped us up like this on purpose. We have a warrior, archer, and a mage!" The duck quacks softly as she strokes it, closing his eyes and tilting his bill to the side

"Yeah, I'm not much of a mage, really,” I say. “But sure, that makes sense. I guess."

“Don't sweat it Sparrow,” Rock says. “I'm sure you don't suck at fighting, or else you wouldn't be here, right?" He smacks me on the shoulder. I fight the urge to wince.

"Yeah dude, we'll be fine. What do think the first mission will be?"

Rock throws a couple swift left jabs, followed by a right cross. "Whatever it is, I'm going to take it down easy."

Somehow, Jade has managed to balance the duck on her head and is tiptoeing around the classroom. "I hope we get to take down a dragon! Even a weak one will be fun."

I tremble inside. A dragon? I mean, there are like over one hundred species of dragons. But even the weakest ones are serious trouble. As cool as it would be to take down a dragon, it's probably too dangerous for three Noobs like us.

Rock taps his rough knuckles on his desk. "Yeah, that would be great. But, it's not our choice. We're just going to do whatever mission Draven gives us if we want our gold. And what the heck are you doing with that duck?" He watches Jade, who is now walking at an even pace with the duck nestled on her head.

Draven walks back into the room. He points at Jade. "What? Why duck?” Draven scratches his head. “Draven much confused."

Jade giggles and runs towards her desk, the duck slipping off her head and flapping his wings wildly. “Quack!” He starts flying around the room in circles.

Oh gosh, I got to fix this. "Release: Mallard!" The duck disappears in a puff of smoke.

Draven lets out a long sigh. He then draws a squiggle on the chalkboard. "Alright. Noobs. First mission." He stops to clear his throat. "Investigate SquirNinja. In town of FoxBrush." He points to his squiggle, which just looks like a blob of chalk. What is that supposed to be? The SquirNinja? Or maybe a map of FoxBrush? But we can get either of those pictures on our WatchGuys anyway, why would he draw one? “Three days you travel. On own. We no help you.” He emphatically points to the blob again like it would somehow answer any questions.

Never mind the chalk blob, a SquirNinja is the real deal. It's like a common wood squirrel, except it's way bigger, weighing in at roughly three hundred pounds. Additionally, SquirNinjas are lightning quick and have a killer instinct. This is a real mission, if we find it of course. Could just be some hoax.

I raise my hand. "Can we teleport there?"

Draven shakes his head. "FoxBrush blocks teleportation. You travel by horseback. Here is tablet. Tablet teleport group back." Draven hands me a clay tablet. "Just hold hands and break. Instantly come back. Questions?"

"What do our supplies look like?” Rock asks. “Can I get an axe?"

Draven smiles for the first time.

"I give you axe."

Draven starts to leave. "Follow."

I get up, stomach tingling. We’ll get some gear, awesome! I'm so ready for this. We find the storehouse, and my jaw drops. Swords, shields, bows, everything a warrior can want.

Draven briefs us on the gear: "Take one lower level suit of armor. Two weapons. No more." He leads us to a slightly less cool section, but it's still nice gear. Jade grabs an oak bow and some arrows. I pick up a stiff leather helmet. It’s still leather, but way higher quality than what I’ve got now. Plus, my armor just got torn when I fought that Frost Goblin.

"This stuff enchanted?" I ask.

Draven nods. "Yes. Sometimes. You look for calling gear? To summon the Goat of Shadow?"

"Hey, how did you know about that?”

Draven stares at me. "Draven knows. Draven knows much.” He hands me a pair of leather gloves. "These help. Boost calling."

I grab them. "Sweet!"

We finish collecting gear. I find a nice stash of throwing knives, and Rock picks out a flashy iron battle axe. Jade digs a wooden pair of nunchucks out of a pile of swords. We all suit up in full leather armor. Looks like we are good to go.

Draven hands us all backpacks with food, water, and camping gear. This is our survival kit, our only supplies for the journey ahead.

We go to the stables and mount up on three brown HorseHounds with simple leather saddles. Cool, we get HorseHounds—a horse and dog mixed breed. They look pretty much like horses, but sometimes they act like dogs. They also have big sloppy tongues.

I’ve never been on a HorseHound before. It’s rather hard to balance, especially with a backpack. Fortunately, Jade and Rock look a bit shaky as well. This is probably the first time for all of us.

Draven leads us to the portal room. There are a bunch of portals here to all sorts of regions across Warscapia. The Orc points to a giant marble portal etched with the letters LoafingHillz at the base. Within the marble swirls a vortex of green colors. “You go. Now.”

Jade awkwardly leads her HorseHound towards the portal and disappears in a poof. I’m next, forcing my steed towards the raging vortex. As soon as I hit the portal, everything turns black.

Jade and I are on a dirt trail, surrounded by a thin line of trees and a bunch of grassy hills. The trees are a healthy green and plentiful enough to populate the landscape. I drill in the coordinates for FoxBrush so we won’t get lost or anything. Rock pops in behind me on his brown HorseHound.

As we start riding, I can see an occasional boulder or muddy cliff side, but as a whole, it's an endless mass of trees and rolling hills.

I check my WatchGuy. "So, LoafingHillz?”

"Yeah. This place is pretty lame," Rock replies.

Jade perks up. "Oh, but I love all the pretty trees!" She snatches a nearby leaf. "See, look at all the types! There's Spinetingle, and Serpent's leaf, and Anglebranch...."

I start to tune her out. I've never cared much for types of trees. They all kind of look the same to me.

Jade hands me a leaf. "That's a leaf from the Spinetingle tree! Isn't it cool?"

I look at the leaf. It’s fuzzy and shaped like a human hand. The leaf doesn’t interest me at all. I’m already bored just thinking about it. But I fake interest, "Oh yeah! That's really cool."

“I like to cut down trees,” Rock interrupts. “One of my favorite hobbies.” He pulls out his axe and mimics chopping down a tree. “Lumberjack mode.”

Jade completely ignores him. “Aren't trees fun! Look at that Cloverbark! That’s probably my favorite tree in the whole world! The bark is this pretty orange color, and in the fall the leaves turn.…” I zone out again.

This is going to be a long trip.

We’ve been on the trail for most the day now with no action. But I’ve learned a lot about trees. I probably know every freaking tree in the whole forest. Every time Jade starts ranting about the bark color or whatever, I kind of want to conjure a giant flame to burn it all down. It would be so easy, but I don’t really want to use the magic points. And Jade probably wouldn't appreciate arson.

But speaking of magic points, I’m thinking of using some magic to color our otherwise pretty boring brown HorseHounds.

"Hey guys, I think I can change the color of our mounts. Check it out." I take a moment to focus on my steed. "Alter Hair: Red!"

My mount’s hair shimmers red. I pat the horse dog thing on the head. "I'm going to call this dude Conker!"

Jade squeals, "Ah, that's so cool!"

"Nice trick,” Rock says. “Can you change mine to gray?"

"Yeah dude, I got you."

I focus on his HorseHound. "Alter Hair: Gray!" A brief shimmering of the coat, and the steed turns solid gray.

"Nice!” Rock yelps. “I think I'll call him Gray!"

"Gray? Are you serious?” Jade rolls her eyes. “Can you be a little more creative?"

"Uhh.... Yeah.” Rock scratches his head. “I can do that. I'll call him Rockhorse!" Rockhorse drools all the way to the ground. Rock sure did pick a sloppy HorseHound.

Jade purses her lips. "Rock, that's even worse."

Rock crosses his thick arms defensively. "Hey, no it's not! I like it! Rockhorse!"

I stifle a laugh. "Yeah, sure dude. Rockhorse all the way." Jade glares at me, as if to say come on, don’t encourage him.

But Jade suddenly smiles. “Mine shall be called Puffball!” She raises an arm triumphantly. “Can you color him yellow? Like a super bright, sunshine yellow!?"

I glance at Rock and he shrugs.

"Uhh, sure. Yellow. Got it."

With my command words, Jade's HorseHound is now the brightest yellow you can imagine.

I glance at my WatchGuy—my color tricks have used sixteen magic points. The WatchGuy displays 45/61. Hey, I gained a maximum point! You get extra maximum magic points with more magical battle experience. I probably got the point after the Frost Goblin fight.

Unlike magic points, maximum health points are static. Everybody has a maximum of one hundred health points.

Magic points slowly refill when you're out of combat. Better mages refill points faster. I can restore about one point every three minutes, so twenty an hour. In a little less than an hour, I'll be back to sixty-one.

I’m curious about the magical powers of my new companions. “Hey guys, how many max magic points do you have?”

“Twenty-six!” Jade yells at the top of her lungs.

“Uhh.” Rock stares at his WatchGuy. He looks a bit red. “I got eleven.”

“Eleven?” Jade squeals. “Why do you only have eleven?”

“I just don’t use magic, alright?” Rock replies defensively.

“But eleven?” Jade says. “That’s like only one greater than the default!”

“I get it! I’m not good at magic. Sheesh. That’s why I carry around this guy.” Rock whips out his flashy axe. “Axe Bro!” sings Rock.

“I’m just an Axe Bro!

On the Open Road.

Chillin’ with the group!

Killin’ things! Being cool.

Yeah.”

Rock smiles. “Wow, that just came to me. Pretty good song, right? I kind of have a knack for lyrics and poetry.”

Jade looks like somebody just poisoned her.

So yeah, it looks like Jade can do some magic, and Rock pretty much can’t. We make a fairly well-balanced group; Rock charging forward with his axe, Jade providing range support, and me casting spells. This can work.

After a couple hours of riding, we stop for lunch on the side of the road. I pull a hunk of cheese and some rolls out of my pack.

We are in a small clearing surrounded by a thick bunch of prickly trees. Uhh, I actually forget which type of tree they are, but I’m not asking Jade. I start eating a roll.

Jade zips open her backpack. "So, you guys know much about SquirNinjas?"

Rock shakes his head. "Naw man, I'll just smash it to bits with my axe, like every other monster out there."

Rock is underestimating this thing. "Dude, SquirNinjas are scary," I say.

Jade raises an eyebrow. "Really?”

“Yep. They're huge, powerful, fast. Monster level is typically between eighty and one hundred twenty."

"One hundred twenty!" Rock yells. "Seriously? A squirrel?"

I nod, chewing on the roll. "Don’t let the name fool you. They have some weapon ability—usually some staff weapon. Strong resistance to frost and lightning magic, but weakness to fire. SquirNinjas are no joke."

Jade shrugs. "How do you know all this stuff?"

"When I'm bored of training, I research. You know, read data entries on my WatchGuy, maybe head to the library and look at some ancient battle tomes. They sometimes have great info that’s not on the WatchGuy. This is kind of weird, but I spend a decent amount of time alone just watching monsters in their natural habitat. It’s an odd hobby, but I like to have some real experience—”

Suddenly, a high-pitched cry from somewhere in the forest cuts me off.

Rock shudders. "You hear that?"

I finish my roll. Just in time.

Jade nimbly pulls out her bow. She yells, "Get ready for combat!" like a normal person would yell, "Get ready to party!"

I check my watch. Sixty-one magic points. I'm full.

Rock nods at me. "You know what that is?"

"Uhh, no. No clue."

We wait in silence, my stomach tingling.

“What! Are those CleverTown trees!” Jade points at the trees in awe. “I’ve heard so much about them, but I’ve never seen them in person! Wow, what a great—”

Scree!

A PyroBeaver charges out of the brush at Jade. Its flaming tail singes the forest ground. Jade does a backflip dodge to get out of the way, soaring through the air gracefully. She lands somewhere behind me.

I backpedal and point my palm at the beaver. "Shoot: Ice Missile!" An icy bolt drills the beaver square in the skull, disintegrating it. Fifty-one magic points left.

One PyroBeaver is no problem. They are pretty small and weak to ice magic. That’s why I just shot an Ice Missile at him. Pretty clever, right?

Rock yells, "Sparrow, watch out!" I stumble forward, but I feel burning heat from behind me.

I think I'm on fire! "Ahh!" I dive to the ground and roll, feeling the flames fade.

I see Rock yell and charge at the creature, waving his axe. The PyroBeaver unleashes a burst of flame, and Rock ducks out of the way just in time.

"Stupid beaver!" Rock roars.

He jumps back up and slices the beaver with a flashy axe attack. The beaver monster disintegrates.

I stand up and feel my back. The flames didn’t burn through my armor or anything. But that was too close.

There are probably more beavers coming. I grab a throwing knife and yell, "Enchant: Ice!" A thin wall of ice coats my knife. The chill of the steel numbs my fingers.

A PyroBeaver leaps out of the woods towards Jade. She shoots it mid-air, the arrow sinking into the torso, but the beaver keeps flying towards Jade. The creature slams into Jade's ribcage, and they both tumble to the ground.

"Crap!" I yell as I throw my frost knife at the beaver. It strikes shoulder bone and explodes in a burst of ice. The PyroBeaver dissolves in a puff of white light.

Jade coughs on the ground and then hops up to her feet. She laughs. "Never thought I'd be taken down by a beaver!" Jade smiles real big. “That was fun!”

Rock screams a battle cry and charges straight into thick woods.

"What!? What are you doing? Get back here!" I yell.

No response. Rock is gone. I look at Jade, but she just smiles like a total goofball. We wait for a few tense moments. Jade bounces on her toes happily while I nervously wait to get mauled by another PyroBeaver.

I finally ask. "You think they're all gone?"

"Yeah! Maybe! I dunno!" Jade nods enthusiastically.

"What's the goofy smile for? This isn't a game."

Jade's goofy smile just grows. "Oh, I just love fighting! It's so fun! And it makes me so happy!"

I sigh. I thought I was the weird one, seriously.

Rock stumbles out of the woods, breathing heavily. "Looks like they're all gone." A moment of relief.

I take a deep breath. "Better watch out for stuff like that. Why did you charge, man? We should stay grouped.”

Rock swings his axe in a slow-motion uppercut. "I get battle rage. You know the whole self-control thing? I don't do that. When I gotta charge, I just do it. It's better that way."

Jade, still with that goofy smile, asks, "Did they drop anything?"

I see a clean set of beaver teeth on the ground. "They dropped some teeth. Those do anything?"

Rock scrambles to pick them up. "Yeah. You can spike your armor with it! Gives you that super-rad barbarian look."

I sit down, glancing at my WatchGuy. Full health. My armor value dropped slightly though, as burnt leather is somewhat weaker. "Any of you missing health points?"

Rock shakes his head. "Nope, I'm full."

Jade pokes her WatchGuy screen. "I'm only thirteen down! I'll regenerate in no time."

Rock scratches his chin. "What? It'll take almost an hour to regain thirteen, right?"

Jade does a perfect handstand. "Not for me! I regenerate extra fast."

Rapid health regeneration is rare. I've never seen it. "Why?" I ask.

Jade tumbles out of her handstand, falling on her shoulder. She pops back to her feet. "I don't know! I just do!"

Whatever, we have to get moving. Mounting Conker, I gesture at Rock and Jade to get going.

"Come on, dudes. We got a SquirNinja to stalk."

CH 2: SquirNinja of FoxBrush

I see something in the distance. About time, it's been like two days of nothing but trails and trees. I’m sick of trees. I hate trees.

"Hey Rock, Jade—I see it! The city!"

"Rockhorse, we did it!” Rock pats Rockhorse on the head. “We made it! The Rock Star is bustin' into FoxBrush!" Rockhorse slobbers a bit.

Jade squints. "Did you seriously just call yourself the Rock Star?"

"Yeah? So what?” Rock replies innocently. “Just kind of a nickname I gave myself. You know, I used to call myself the Warscapian Warrior, the Rock Bullet, or simply Rockzilla. But I’ve settled on the Rock Star. It’s got a nice ring to it. You like?"

Jade doesn't answer, but mumbles something under her breath.

I shake out my right leg. It's fallen asleep from all the riding. "Any idea who we have to talk to?"

Rock glances at his WatchGuy. "Nah, let's just ask around. The inn usually has the low-down on stuff."

"Sounds good. We should get there soon."

We approach the city gates and see a guard. He looks bored.

"Sup dude, can I come in?" I ask.

The guard tilts his head and replies. "What is the commotion, citizen?"

Rock flexes his back. "Heard you guys got a SquirNinja you want us to look at?"

A haunted look creeps into the guard's eyes. "You're from WarriorCore? The SquirNinja has plagued our town for months! It has eaten most of our cattle…and even Gretta's cat!"

"It ate a cat!” Jade shrieks. “Really?"

The guard nods. "That's right! Ate it whole, gobbled it up! The giant squirrel just grabbed it by the torso and chomped. It was horrible, blood and intestines were flowing out of the—"

"Sir, we don't need the details of the cat murder." Rock interrupts. "Does anybody know where the lair is?"

My brain explodes with information. SquirNinjas are reclusive, dwelling in isolated lairs for long periods of time. The squirrel-beast has probably targeted this town for an abundant supply of meat.

The gate surrounding FoxBrush is around ten feet tall. A SquirNinja could jump over this—easy. He has probably established a lair fairly close to the town.

"Ask Gretta.” The guard says. “She's been tracking it, trying to avenge her loss."

"Awesome. You ready to let us in?" I reply.

The guard unlocks the gate.

We dismount our animals and tie them to an iron post outside FoxBrush. Rock yells, "Hey, and watch the HorseHounds! Don't want them to become squirrel chow."

“Of course, fine citizens of Warscapia.” The guard then awkwardly halts. “I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took an arrow to the face.” He points to a scar on his cheek. “Seriously, watch out for arrows. They can end your quest, just like that!” The guard snaps his fingers. “Alright then, good luck!”

That was really random. Why did he have to tell us about taking an arrow to the face? That’s too much information and a bit of a downer, to be honest.

“Thanks!” Jade yells. “That’s some amazing advice!”

We walk through the gates, and boom—we’re in downtown FoxBrush. It's a small town; nothing more than a few scattered houses made out of dusty pinewood. There are fluffy chickens scampering around the dirt ground, clucking and pecking. A small boy is chasing a chicken. He yells, "Come here, Brenda!" In a graceful chicken dash, the fowl sprints past his outstretched arms.

“Look guys! Chickens!” Jade points at the fleeing chicken. "Aww, aren't chickens so cute and cuddly?" She flashes us a giant smile.

I’m unsure how to respond to that question, so I just don’t.

Rock spits on the ground. “So, where is this Gretta lady? The Rock Star is on a tight schedule, no time to sit and watch chickens, my fair lady." He winks at Jade.

She growls in disgust.

The boy chasing after the chicken overhears us. "Gretta is over there!" He points to an old lady sweeping the dirt ground with a broom.

Jade runs toward her. "Gretta! Gretta! We are here to avenge the death of your kitty!"

"What did you say to me?" Gretta cackles. The old woman smacks her broom at Jade, but Jade easily dodges it and slowly backs away.

I dash in front of Jade, arms raised passively. "Whoa! Chill out! We are just looking for the SquirNinja."

"Oh! That varmit?” Gretta drops her broom and squints at me, her mouth slightly ajar. “I'll tell you where he is. Got the direction on my WatchGuy!" Gretta raises her arm and points to a flashing yellow dot on the screen. I sync the direction into my WatchGuy and hit the track function. The screen blinks and we have our trail.

Jade takes one look at my WatchGuy, yells “Thanks Gretta!” and then sprints towards the gate.

"Darn it Jade! Slow down for once!" Rock takes off after her.

I slip Gretta a few pieces of bronze and chase after Rock. "Guys, wait up!"

We bust out of the city, heading straight for the squirrel lair. Jade is a few steps ahead of me, and Rock has run out of breath and is lagging behind.

"Jade, stop!” I yell. “We have to plan!"

Jade wildly flails her arms as she comes to a complete stop. "Oh, yeah. I forgot all about the plan!”

I slow down, catching my breath. We are surrounded by green forest. I drop and unzip my backpack, diving through our gear.

Other than our weapons and armor, all the stuff WarriorCore gave us appears useless for combat. A couple ropes, four tin cans, some apples. This is bad.

"OK, it's probably best to have Rock charge in,” I say. “Jade, you and I can provide support. I'll call stuff, and you can just shoot arrows."

Rock catches up, breathing heavily. "What? I'm charging in, right?"

I nod. "Yeah, you're the berserker. You charge in."

Jade has zoned out and is staring at a blue jay. She snaps back into the conversation. "Wait, did you say I was charging in?"

Rock firmly shakes his head. "No, I'm charging in!"

"But, I wanted to charge!” Jade whines. “I could be a good distraction with my ninja skills—"

"I could just, like, call a Shadow Goat,” I say, “and he could charge in. I mean, Shadow Goats kind of suck at everything, but they can sort of distract—"

Rock silences me with a wave of his axe. "No Shadow Goats! Shadow Goats are the worst!”

“Yeah, I know they suck at everything, but they are actually pretty good distractions in the right—”

“Yeah right!” Rock yells. “Come on. I’m the axe bro. The axe bro always charges.”

Jade backs down, and I shrug. Sure, Rock charges in.

"Are there any other monsters there?” Jade asks. “Or is it just the SquirNinja?"

I shake my head. "SquirNinjas typically live alone. It's probably just him. Rock, just do your best to distract him, alright?"

Rock cracks his knuckles, "Distracting is what I do best!" He smirks. "Of course, the Rock Star does everything the best."

Jade twirls her bow with expert flair. "Oh, I'm so excited! I can't wait to fight and use my bow to shoot this squirrel and roll away from attacks! Are you guys excited?"

My stomach is tingly, and I feel sickish. "Uhh, yeah. Yeah, I'm excited.” Oh man, my stomach actually hurts.

"Let's go!" Rock says.

I check my WatchGuy. We are twenty clicks out, and I have full health and magic points.

I take a deep breath and slowly release a stream of air.

I can do this. I’m good at magic and stuff. Kind of.

But can I trust Rock and Jade? You know, Rock is a bit of an idiot, and I’m starting to really question Jade’s sanity.

But whatever. Let’s hope they can fight!

We get to the SquirNinja’s lair, which lies deep within a rocky formation jutting out from a hillside. Rock briefly hesitates, and then charges in, roaring a berserker cry. I feel a surge of energy.

I rush in behind a sprinting Jade. The lair is dimly lit by a row of torches.

And there he is—the SquirNinja, ninja mask and all. He’s chewing on the remains of a cat. Gross.

The SquirNinja stops eating to glare at us.

He's huge, probably over eight feet tall with jet black fur and giant muscles. A massive puffy tail flows majestically, gripping a large oaken staff—his weapon. He hisses, flashing buck teeth. Beady eyes bore into my face.

Rock heads straight for the beast. In a flash, the SquirNinja leaps over him, shoving him head first into the cave floor.

The SquirNinja sprints towards Jade.

Jade reacts quickly, firing an arrow. The squirrel jerks his tail to smack aside the shot, then lunges at Jade with feral claws.

Jade rolls and disappears in a puff of smoke. She reappears at Rock's side, helping him off the ground.

I gotta call something fast.

"Call: FlameEagle!"

Swirls of fire start to form a creature. Come on, we need an eagle here, or this is going to be bad. Need an eagle. Need a freakin’ eagle.

"Quack."

It's a stupid duck again! The duck stares at me with red-tinged eyes. And the SquirNinja has picked his next target—me! Why can't he just go after Rock instead?

I throw a knife at the squirrel, but he dodges and the blade grazes his tail. Puffs of fur float to the cave floor. The SquirNinja screams at me—a ghastly high-pitched squeal. My heart throbs in fear.

"Ahhh!" I scoop up my useless duck and run towards Rock. The bird feels warmer and heavier than I imagined.

Rock yells and raises his battle axe in fury. He charges the SquirNinja.

I'm not looking this time, but I hear Jade scream.

I turn around, and Rock gashes the SquirNinja across the chest. The squirrel counter attacks, slamming an oak pole across Rock's face. Rock takes the blow hard, dropping his axe and falling backwards. He lands on the ground motionless.

The squirrel grabs Rock, preparing for a bite attack.

Shoot, this is bad. SquirNinjas can inflict massive damage with their teeth.

I'm about to throw a knife, but Jade shoots first. Her arrow sinks into the paw of the SquirNinja. The beast roars and drops Rock.

I throw my knife, but the SquirNinja makes complicated hand motions and screeches ancient squirrel ninjutsu. The room instantly fills with a thick mist.

I can't see anything. Stumbling, I'm holding a throwing knife in one hand and my warm duck in another.

I check my WatchGuy – thirty-one magic points. I might clear the mist, but that would take twenty points.

"Ahh! Sparrow, help! Help!" Jade’s voice is frail.

"Jade! What!? Where." Dang—I can't handle this.

"Trick: Clear Mist!" The smog disappears.

The SquirNinja’s mangy tail is tightly wrapped around Jade’s neck.

Rock is still out cold on the ground.

Jade struggles, hands desperately grasping for her neck.

I look at my duck, but it just quacks. Stupid duck. Why can’t you be a FlameEagle instead?

I have eleven magic points left. What do I do? I don't even have enough for a simple fireball.

The SquirNinja hisses fiercely, glaring at me with those horrible beady eyes.

Only one thing left—I throw the duck at the beast, sending it flapping.

"Attack: FlameDuck!"

Shoot, can ducks even attack? Are FlameDucks even a thing? No clue.

The duck soars into the air, and a stream of blue fire erupts from its bill. The stream blazes the head of the SquirNinja.

Fire breath? Awesome!

The SquirNinja screams and drops Jade. Jade gasps for air, coughing violently while the giant squirrel pats out the flames with his tail.

My duck is soaring through the air—time for a Final Charge. I take out a throwing knife.

"Final Charge: FlameDuck!"

Fire edges at the wings of the duck, its bill oozing steam. It madly quacks as flames spread across its entire body.

I have no idea what the Final Charge of a FlameDuck is, but this looks mega-sweet.

The duck morphs into an inferno whirlpool, and I throw a knife at the SquirNinja.

A short explosion staggers me. My ears ringing, everything goes black except for the silhouette of a flaming duck.

I wake up to Jade's smiling face. She's shaking me by the shoulders, yelling, "Sparrow, Sparrow, you did it! You took him out. Your duck was a beast!"

I stare at her, wordless. She has freckles. I never noticed that.

"What? Everything good?" I ask.

She drags me up. I see Rock sharpening his axe like a man who sharpens his axe on a regular basis.

Jade continues, "That was so cool! I didn't know a duck could do that stuff!"

I slowly shake my head. "What stuff? You mean the fire breath and explosion? Yeah, that was random. We were lucky.” Tell me about lucky. Who knew that ducks could breathe fire? Not me.

Rock stands up and gives his axe a test swing. "Nah, you did alright, my little man. Call more ducks, I think you found yo thang! But let's be honest, that fight was all me. Did you see me back there?" Rock starts waving his axe around dramatically. "He came at me like WAAAAHHH, but then I dodged and slashed him across the face...."

Jade rolls her eyes.

Me? A duck caller? It’s true that most callers focus on one type of animal or spirit, but ducks? Nobody I know has ever called ducks. Seriously, why would they?

Rock is still flailing his axe and bragging about his skills, but Jade nods enthusiastically. "Yeah! The duck attack, when he exploded. That was legendary!"

Maybe this is it. I can't call eagles properly. Or rams, apparently. So ducks. My thing is ducks. Cool.

I guess.

Rock stops showboating and hands me a wooden staff, presumably dropped by the SquirNinja. "We got this staff from the SquirNinja. I know you don't use weapons much, but it might be good to get used to one."

I nod, grabbing the shaft of polished wood. It seems strong, supple, and light enough for me to swing.

“He drop anything else?”

“Not really,” Rock says. “Only this staff and his nasty head.”

I punch Rock in the shoulder. "Nice job back there, dude. You took a blow for me."

Rock smiles widely and pounds his chest with a strong fist. "Bro, that’s what I do. It didn't even hurt. That SquirNinja should have downed a couple strength potions, then maybe he could have actually done some damage. Seriously."

Jade parades around with the head of the SquirNinja, stumbling over her own feet. It's creepy to have the head of some giant squirrel, but we have to bring it back to WarriorCore for proof and stuff.

I limp out of the cave, checking my health points. I'm down to a twenty-seven. Ouch. I have to get stronger. We all have to get stronger. For real.

Jade is still having the time of her life running around with the blood-stained squirrel head, while Rock is checking out his biceps.

"Hey guys, come on!” I yell. “Let's bail. Who has the teleport tablet?"

Jade smiles. "I got it! Let’s run back to the HorseHounds first!"

Oh yeah. Conker. I almost forget.

We head back to our mounts. Conker prances his hooved feet when he sees me. When Rock unties Rockhorse, the steed leaps forward and licks him across the face.

“Back, Rockhorse, back!” Rock laughs as he trips over a root. He rolls on the ground howling in laughter while Rockhorse slobbers all over him.

“Alright guys!” Jade chirps. “Let’s get on our mounts, hold hands, and crack this thing!”

Rock pops off the ground in one swooping motion, covered in HorseHound drool. "You want to hold my hand Jade? You into me or something? I don't blame you, I can't keep the chicks off me. Am I right?" Rock cracks his best smile.

"Oh, shut up Rock." Jade replies.

We get on our horses, grip hands, and Jade throws the teleport tablet. In a flash of smoke, we are back at WarriorCore headquarters.

CH 3: Bertha

“So, it’s cool that I use duck sorcery, right?”

We are in Spade’s office—the president’s chamber at WarriorCore. It’s a large room constructed of solid steel. Rows and rows of monster heads adorn the walls—trophies from a lifetime of missions. The SquirNinja head may already be up there somewhere, but I can’t see it.

Spade has his feet kicked up on his desk. He’s cleaning a scythe with a tattered cloth. You can see his fuzzy gray hair reflected in the blade of the scythe. Looks cool.

“Of course duck sorcery is fine! Look Sparrow, see this scythe?” He holds the scythe so it flashes off the light.

“Uhh…. Yeah. I see it.”

“You know what scythes were originally used for?”

I scratch my head. “Farming, right?”

Spade stands and twirls the scythe with ease. “Exactly! But they also made excellent weapons! Sparrow, duck sorcery isn’t common, but if that’s your niche, perhaps, then you might as well embrace it! Everybody is different, my young Sparrow. There is no shame in that.”

“Yeah, but….” I sigh. “Aren't ducks fairly weak creatures? I mean, most big time mages summon bears, or harpies, or ghoulish things. They use big, intimidating monsters. Why can’t I do that? I can’t even summon a Shadow Ram. You saw my fight against the Frost Goblin!”

Spade puts the scythe on his desk and slaps a firm hand on my shoulder. “Sparrow, listen here. A creature is only as strong as his master. Your ducks aren't weak. You saw that with the FlameDuck, right? Sure, ducks may be small, but there is limitless potential in them! Just use your mind, Sparrow. Plus, harpies are way overrated. People just summon them because they look cool.”

“Yeah….” I nod without much enthusiasm. I’m not sure if I really want to be a duck caller. It seems so lame. “I guess so.”

“Here, let me tell you a story.” Spade grabs a picture from his desk. A younger Spade has his arm around a fit woman with messy brown hair. “You see this girl? Her name was Bertha.” Spade pauses for a moment. “She was one of WarriorCore’s finest Brawlers. I tell you, that woman could throw a roundhouse kick if I ever did see it.”

I have no clue where this is going.

“Well, one day, we were hunting SharkDrakes in SeaVillage. You know what a SharkDrake is, son?”

“Yes! They are a twisted combo between a shark and a dragon. They are kind of shaped like a shark, but they have tough dragon scales. Monster level is usually between four hundred and five hundred, they typically live in sea caves, but they can also fly on these crazy spiked dragon wings—”

“Good! I like you, kid. Anyway, there we were, ambushed by eight SharkDrakes! There were too many of them, and we both knew it. But we fought with everything! I was deep in battle fervor. And Bertha, well, I’ve never seen anything else like it. She was in and out of the fray, punching SharkDrakes in the face, throwing them by the tail. It was legendary.”

I still have no clue where this is going.

“And we took down seven of them! It was amazing. Our teamwork was outstanding, that day especially. But then, while we were distracted by the eighth SharkDrake, another one leapt out of the water and swallowed Bertha whole. There was nothing I could do.” A single tear creeps down Spade’s cheek. “I was forced to watch the love of my life get eaten by a SharkDrake.”

I’m stunned. “Oh wow, I’m so sorry. That’s awful.”

Spade is silent for a moment, his face completely blank. He then snorts out a peal of laughter, and next moment he is all-out hysterical. “I’m just messing with you. That never happened.” He points to the picture. “This girl is actually my sister. She’s just a medic here at WarriorCore.”

I can’t believe this guy. “What? What was the point of that entire story then?” Even if it had been true, I have no clue how that story relates to me at all.

A twinkle enters Spade’s eyes. “What I’m trying to say kid, is that you gotta be you! If ducks are your thing, then go right ahead! Just don’t summon any more Shadow Goats, because they actually suck at everything.”

“Totally!” I groan. “But you know, they can sort of distract—”

Spade silences me with a wave of the hand. “And my story distracted you, if only for a moment.” Spade chuckles again. “Alright kid, here’s the cash and a book that I found on duck conjuring.” Spade gives me the coin and an old tome with the title of BattleDucks. “Now get outta here. I got stuff to do. And Draven is probably waiting for you in room 221.”

CH 4: The DraculaDragon

Jade yells, "Oh, I'm so excited we get to kill a DraculaDragon now! They like, can drink your blood! It's so cool! I've heard they look like a normal dragon but have wings like a bat. Is that true, Sparrow!?"

I sigh and pat Conker’s red mane. "I mean, yeah, that's what the WatchGuy says." I stare at the entry on the WatchGuy again, trying to size up the DraculaDragon.

Rock and Rockhorse both yawn at the same time. Drool slides out of Rockhorse’s mouth. "How does it respond to an axe in the face?"

"I dunno, man. It's going to be hard to hit this thing. Apparently it's fast."

"Faster than the SquirNinja? Really? Is that even possible?" Jade asks.

Rock scoffs and swings a fist. "I'll take it down anyway. That SquirNinja was nothing. Did you guys see me back there?"

"Yes Rock,” Jade responds flatly. “Of course we saw you. But is the DraculaDragon really faster than the SquirNinja?"

I gaze at the trail in front of us. "Well, it's probably a bit slower, but much more powerful. We're going to have to prepare better for this one."

Jade slowly rubs her neck. She doesn't say anything, but she has to be thinking about that tail wrapped around her throat.

We're ascending a steep slope. I have no clue where we are. BoulderBastion? The DraculaDragon is somewhere around here. I know nothing about BoulderBastion. Apparently, Rock lived here for a while, so he's guiding this journey.

I watch the sun creep behind the mountains, casting a pale glow over the rocky terrain. "Time to camp, right Rock?"

Rock grunts in agreement. He dismounts Rockhorse.

Jade slips off Puffball, falling onto the ground. "Oh, whoopsie! I keep doing that."

I dismount Conker, patting him on the nose. I grab a carrot from my pack and feed it to my HorseHound. He munches on the carrot, chewing loudly.

"Yeah man, we are getting close to the suggested area though, right?"

Rock shows me the map on his WatchGuy. "Yeah, tomorrow we will reach the hold of RockPlace where we can rest and prepare. Then the lair is a few hours away."

I look at the layout of the city on my WatchGuy. "What's RockPlace like?"

Jade pipes up. "I've heard it's wonderful!"

Rock lays down his axe. "Yeah, it's cool. Biggest city in BoulderBastion. There are more inns than you can count, magic shops, candy stores, music halls, stuff like that."

My palms start itching. "Are there any comic shops? I'm trying to complete my Chuckles the Chill collection."

"Comic books!” Jade rolls her eyes. “Sparrow, that's nerdy!"

Rock laughs. "There are comic shops. You into Chuckles? He's alright, but I think I would whip his butt if we actually fought." Rock discretely flexes his shoulder muscles.

I stand up and practice my best wizard stance. "Yeah, Chuckles’ calling skills are legendary. He calls bears, dragons, pretty much anything. He apparently trains non-stop. He's amazing! Of course, he's just a fictional character."

Jade squints at me. "What about you? Have you been practicing your duck calling?"

I blush and drop my wizard pose. "Not enough, if that's my thing now. Is that my thing?"

Rock starts doing some pushups. "Definitely your thing. I mean, duck calling is pretty cool and all, but there is nothing cooler than when I'm in my battle rage and about to destroy some—"

"Come on Rock, give us a break," interrupts Jade.

"Jade, seriously, I was just joking," scoffs Rock.

These two never stop. "Call: ElectroDuck!"

Shards of electricity start to form a duck like figure.

Bzzzpquack. ElectroDuck is here. He looks just like a normal duck except for his glowing blue eyes, vibrant yellow feet, and shock green feathers. On second thought, he doesn’t look like a normal duck at all.

I pick up ElectroDuck. I can feel the duck vibrate with energy. I throw the bird in the air.

"Shockshield: ElectroDuck!"

The duck starts vibrating with an invisible barrier of energy.

Jade tilts her head. "What's that thing do?"

"Supposed to defend it from attacks," I reply.

“Wait, how do you know this stuff?” Jade asks.

I scavenge BatteDucks from my backpack. “This book Spade gave me has thousands of potential ducks. There are tons of types, really. Like all summoned creatures, each duck has one basic attack, two special moves, and a Final Charge. One of ElectroDuck’s special moves is Shockshield. Hey Jade, you want to shoot it, see if it works?"

Jade nods and pulls out her bow. She nocks an arrow, then fires.

The arrow flies toward the duck and then dissolves in a puff of smoke. The duck eyes Jade with confusion, as if to ask why is this crazy girl shooting at me?

"Quack?" the duck asks, tilting its bill sideways in a half curious, half angry glance.

"Final Charge: ElectroDuck!" I focus the attack on a nearby tree.

The duck starts shimmering. With crackling energy, the duck morphs into a bolt of lightning and slams into the tree, setting it on fire.

Rock grunts in surprise mid-pushup.

“Why did you kill that ScruffPine tree?” Jade whimpers. “Why?”

“Uhh…. Target practice?” I feebly reply.

Jade crosses her arms, not amused.

I sit back down, heart pounding a bit. WatchGuy says twenty-one magic points left. I can't really call two ducks yet—it takes thirty points just to call one, and five points per attack. I'll need to increase my overall magic points if I want to call two at once and use even one attack.

Rock stops pushups and starts working on a fire.

"Hey Rock,” I say. “Let me handle this!" Rock stands back.

I point my palm at the fire. "Cast: Fireball!"

A ball of fire forms at my palm. It shoots at the pile of sticks, igniting them.

“Show off," Rock mutters.

"Naw, your awesomeness just inspired me to practice.” There might be a touch of sarcasm in my voice.

Rock laughs at me. “Yeah, I’m a pretty awesome dude, I know.”

We grab some dried beef and corn from our packs, roasting the corn over the campfire. After pulling out sleeping bags, it's another night on the road.

I wake up stiff. I'm not used to sleeping on the ground. Jade is gone, probably out hunting or something. Makes me a bit nervous. If she's not back soon, I'll start looking for her.

Rock is still out cold. I roll out of my sleeping bag and check on Conker. He seems fine, grazing on some yellow grass. I pull out a carrot and feed him, making sure to hold my hand flat so he won’t bite me or anything. Conker gently whinnies. Good horse dog.

I look at the DraculaDragon entry for the millionth time. It's going to be tough. It just has no clear weakness. The SquirNinja had relatively low defense—but not this dragon vampire thing. Tough scales, it can drain your health, maul you with claws and chomp on you with dragon teeth. If we can keep the wanton beast from brutally slaughtering Rock, then maybe we can win.

Jade comes back holding bunches of rainbow colored mushrooms. "Look!" she cries. "Breakfast!" She throws one at me. I catch it, a sky blue mushroom.

"Jade, what the heck are these?" I squeeze the mushroom. It's oddly spongy.

"Oh, I dunno! I just thought they looked edible!"

"What? Jade, these are rainbow colored mushrooms. How does that look edible at all?"

Jade peers at the mushroom for a second and then shrugs. "Hmm.... Let's ask Rock!" She runs over to where Rock is sleeping. "Rock! Rock! Are these edible?" She throws a bunch of mushrooms in his face.

Rock rolls over in his bag. "Ugh…." He opens his eyes. "Oh, gosh! What the…." He takes a closer look. "Oh. Yeah. These are fine. FruitShrooms. They taste like fruit."

Jade starts running in circles, shrooms spilling everywhere. "Yay! I found FruitShrooms."

After Rock is sufficiently awake, we start eating the FruitShrooms. I nibble a bite off a purple one. It tastes like a spongy grape. Rock is gobbling down shrooms by the handful.

A thought suddenly hits me. "Hey guys. We are the good guys, right? Like, WarriorCore does good stuff and saves people. So we are good."

Jade stops chewing midway through her mushroom. She swallows it in a quick gulp. "Oh, blueberry! Wow, that's amazing! Yes, of course we are good. We saved FoxBrush from the SquirNinja, remember?" She munches on another FruitShroom.

Rock lets out an impressive belch. "Whatever the Rock Star does is good. When I maul a creature with my axe—it's good. When I make small talk with the ladies at the inn—it's very good.” Rock flashes a sneaky smile like he’s thought of something clever. “When I take a massive dump in the forest—it's glorious. Smells glorious, anyway." Rock finally bursts into laughter.

Jade smacks her forehead and groans. "Gross! You're the worst." She throws an orange mushroom at Rock.

Rock chucks a green mushroom back at Jade.

So we kill destructive monsters and save people. Yeah, that sounds good to me. We saved FoxBrush from losing any more cats. Now that's heroic work.

Jade is now throwing handfuls of FruitShrooms at Rock, showering him in a rainbow of fungus.

Rock manages to pelt a black FruitShroom at Jade’s messy hair despite his hysterical laughter.

I start throwing mushrooms at both of them. Next moment, we are in an all-out war, vibrantly colored FruitShrooms bouncing in every possible direction.

Later that day, we arrive at RockPlace. I can feel that poor Conker is as tired as I am. BoulderBastion terrain makes for rough, mountainous riding. We leave our HorseHounds at the stable located next to our inn.

Rock stretches his back. "OK, I've made a list of supplies that will help us take down this DraculaDragon. We need some garlic bombs, energy potions, and silver arrows. Got it? I'm going to look for the bombs, it's probably best for Jade to get the arrows. Sparrow, you want to grab energy potions?"

"Sure dude, sounds good. I'll find an alchemist."

Rock points me in the right direction, and I'm off exploring.

The city is cool. It's protected by a big rock wall and has a bunch of houses made of stone. I guess rocks are a big deal here. I mean, it’s called RockPlace and everything, so that makes sense.

Merchants pack the street. Most are selling basic weapons and armor. Some kids run around swinging wooden swords. One kid is throwing sticks and yelling, "Fireball!" Kid, magic doesn’t work like that. Whatever. He’ll learn when he’s older.

I find the alchemy lab. It’s a small stone building covered with burn and scratch marks. I open the door and walk in.

The alchemist is a tall lanky dude. He’s smashing eggs into a pulp behind the counter.

He looks up from his yolky mess and gives me a brief smile. "You need something?"

"Yeah. You got pre-fight energy potions?"

"For sure.” The lanky alchemist dude's eyes brighten. “I got what you need. Which type would you like?"

I shuffle my feet. I wasn't aware there were different types.

The lanky dude heads towards a shelf stocked with numerous flasks. "We got Monstro, Violet Torro, and Dethbrew. Any of those good?"

I have no clue. I've heard a decent amount about energy potions, but I've never had the coin to pick any up. "Uhh, Dethbrew sounds solid to me."

A sly smile creeps upon the alchemist's face. "Ahh, Dethbrew! That's strong stuff! Good call. How many?"

"Three, please."

The lanky alchemist dude retrieves three vials of vibrant yellow liquid. "That’ll be six silver."

I pull six silver pieces out of my coin pouch and smack them on the counter. The alchemist grins at a picture of a Frost Dragon I stitched to the cover of my pouch.

Taking my coin, he asks, "Are you from WarriorCore?"

"Yeah! I am, but how did you know?”

"Just a guess. Coming to take out the DraculaDragon?"

"Yep, that's our mission."

The lanky alchemist hands the silver back to me. "Here, take the potions—it's the least I can do. That DraculaDragon has wrecked this town. I've had to repair my shop twice in the last month." He points to a scorch mark on the counter. "Do us all a favor and take him out."

I slip the silver back into my pouch. "Sure thing. I eat DraculaDragons for breakfast."

I leave the shop, stomach quivering. What am I saying, I eat DraculaDragons for breakfast? We are three Noobs with little battle experience. The DraculaDragon could decide to eat us for breakfast, instead. He might even have enough left over for a midafternoon snack. But I didn't want to tell that alchemist dude the truth. I had to at least pretend that we had everything under control.

My attention returns to the ice cold vials in my hands. Dethbrew. Sounds legit to me. I'll put these to good use, lanky alchemist dude. Don't you worry.

I’m supposed to meet Rock and Jade at the inn at 6:00, so I still have an hour to roam. I wander through the city, hoping to find a comic shop.

A blacksmith, some lame herb stands, and there it is! A real deal comic book store.

I enter, super excited for more Chuckles comic books. I browse the shelves, searching with desperation. He's got to be here somewhere!

I see him! Chuckles the Chill! He's dressed in a simple black and white Kung Fu garb. Oh wow, in this issue he fights King Zombie again! King Zombie is like a normal zombie, except he is extremely muscular and swings a giant broadsword. Every time Chuckles summons the most gnarly creatures to beat him down, but King Zombie just comes back to life with his cheap zombie powers. Chuckles has to defeat him over and over again.

For three bronze, the comic is mine. (If you were wondering, ten bronze = one silver, and ten silver = one gold.) I want to start reading the comic right away, but I should really head to the inn.

I find Rock and Jade outside the inn.

Rock is tinkering with the garlic bombs. "These go off in a big smelly boom, so watch out. Keep your distance when you throw them."

"Man, that's crazy.” I laugh, mouth wide open. “A garlic bomb?"

Rock coolly smiles. "Yeah, I'm going to blow this dragon's face off!"

Jade is staring at her silver arrows with awe. "These arrows are so shiny and pretty! It almost seems like a waste to use them!"

Rock opens the door to the inn. “Come on,” he says. “Let’s get some food.”

It's a standard inn with some wooden tables. A few adventurers are playing cards. By their shabby gear, I can tell that they are lowish level. A mellow bard is tinkering away at a lute in the corner. Some dusty windows let in cool twilight.

Jade runs up to the innkeeper. "What do you have to eat?"

The innkeeper, an older man with a slouch in his back, mumbles, "Bread and cheese."

Jade smiles blissfully. "Oh, wonderful! I would like three servings!" She pours some money out on the table, and the guy slowly lays out some old biscuits and meager slices of cheese.

We take our food and sit down. Finally, some time to eat and chill.

I hear the door open, and in walks a powerfully built young man with a massive sledge hammer strapped to his back. The man has smooth blond hair, a strong jaw line, and a thin scar across his cheek.

Jade gasps and points. "Is that…is that? The Granite!" She immediately turns bright red, and for once, is silent.

The man strides towards Rock and extends a hand. "Hey Rock! How's the Rock Star? "

Rock clasps his hand. "Granite! I'm kicking tail as usual, your little bro knows how to scrap!" Rock throws a mock karate chop. "I took down a SquirNinja the other day!" Rock flexes his biceps. "I mean, my friends helped some, too. What's up?"

Granite releases a booming laugh. "Nice! A SquirNinja! Not bad for a crew of rookies. Anyway, I'm just here in town! Tell me, who are your new friends?"

Rock gestures to me. "This guy here is Sparrow. Bro, you should see his magic skills, they're pretty hardcore."

I wave off the compliment. “Nah, my spells aren't that impressive, to be honest."

Granite flashes shiny white teeth. "Magic is the bomb! The arena could always use a few new magic types." Granite gestures at Jade. "What about the lass?" Jade’s face grows even more red.

Rock laughs. "Oh yeah, this is Jade. She's pretty handy with a bow. Another stealth type."

Jade mumbles, "N-nice. To…meet…you."

Granite's laugh booms. "Nice to meet you too! Stealth, eh?"

Jade looks at her feet.

Granite clasps Rock on the shoulder. "Looks like a Rock solid crew you guys have here. Good luck on your journey. I have to attend a pre-fight press conference. Till tomorrow!" With that, he struts out of the inn, his hammer swinging across his back.

Jade’s eyes are all shiny. "Was that the Granite! The famous gladiator, Granite?"

Rock smiles freely. "Yeah, that's him alright! My eldest bro is the man."

Jade slaps Rock on the chest. "Why didn't you tell us your brother is the Granite! And why are you not nearly as cool as he is?"

"Hey! After a few years of WarriorCore, I'm going to be a gladiator too, you'll see!"

"Wait, who is Granite?" I ask.

Jade looks at me with giant eyes. "Who is Granite? Are you kidding, Sparrow? He's only the hottest thing in Arena combat! He's on a twenty-seven fight winning spree right now! Never been bested. He's the coolest gladiator ever." A dreamy smiles stretches across Jade’s face, and she stares off into the distance.

Rock grumbles softly.

The bard playing the lute snaps Jade back into reality. She listens to the tune, then asks, "Oh, have you guys heard the new single by the Knights Next Door? It's so upbeat and fun!"

“Yeah, it's got a decent beat.” Rock says. “I like how the harp bangs out with the vocals. Everybody is listening to it. Top of the charts, right? Here, I got it downloaded on my WatchGuy." Rock presses the music function of the WatchGuy. He browses and finds Knights Next Door.

Jade nods vigorously. "Do you like them, Sparrow? Everybody likes them!"

"Uhh….” I shrug. “They are alright, I guess. But I mainly listen to grunge. You know, bands like ZombieForest? Have you guys ever heard of FrozenCyclops? Or SpiderQueens United?"

Jade laughs. "Not really, Sparrow...."

"But they are deeper and way more existential than mainstream music!” I reply. “They put emotions and thematic stuff into their songs. It moves me. Like poetry or whatever."

"I've only heard FrozenCyclops before,” Rock says, “and it's not like poetry! I would know if it's poetry, cause I'm a beast poet. I think the weird vocals are kind of depressing."

I shake my head. "No man, it's reflective of life. That's why I like grungy music. Makes me feel alive. You guys have never heard of ZombieForest? They’re so cool!"

Jade squints. "But Zombies are dead. How can they make you feel alive?"

Rock chuckles, and Jade smiles. I grin but feel kind of frustrated inside. Sometimes, I feel like people just don’t get me.

"I dunno, Jade. They just do. It's hard for me to explain. But I'm down to listen to some Knights Next Door."

We hang out and listen to music well into the night. The Knights Next Door are alright, for a mainstream group anyway. Eventually, we hit the sack. The beds are surprisingly soft. A good night of sleep before a monster hunt is always a plus.

Sleep

I'm holding a baby bird. I run up to my mother.

"Mommy, mommy look!"

My mother looks down. "Ahh, you caught a little sparrow!"

I smile. "So, can I keep it? Please mommy, please?"

"Of course you can.” She pats me on the head. “Just keep it somewhere outside where you can look after it."

I scamper outside, the baby bird chirping in my hands. Aww, it's so cute. I've always wanted a pet birdie.

I think I'll name you Sparta.

I'm dueling Bruce. He's a couple years older than me, but I charge at him, clutching my wooden sword. In a few swipes, I've been disarmed. My arm is stinging from a wayward blow.

I try to pick up my weapon, but a wooden sword smacks me across the cheek.

I fall backwards, dizzy. "What was that? That's not fair!” My cheek stings.

Bruce utters a deep and stupid laugh. "You're such a wimp. Stupid Sparrow kid!" He snatches my sword.

"Give that back! And my name is Jasper!"

"No. I want it. And you're Sparrow kid to me."

"Stop it! Stop calling me Sparrow kid!"

Bruce shrugs. "So what? I do what I want.” He starts singing in an annoying voice. “Sparrow! Sparrow! You're a stupid Sparrow."

Furious, I lunge at Bruce with flying fists. He slams me in the gut with the sword handle. I fall backwards, clutching my stomach. I can't breathe. Tears fill my eyes.

I'm in the forest, bird on my shoulder and a branch in my hand. With quick strokes of a knife, I carefully shape the branch into a sword. I give the new weapon a few test swings. Sparta chirps brightly and sweetly. It's a sloppy make, but I weighted it fairly well.

I hold the sword up to the sunlight. "Hey Sparta, what do you think?"

Chirp!

I'm back and holding my scrappy weapon in one hand. Bruce looks at me disdainfully, flashing his well-crafted sword.

"Did you make that, Sparrow kid? That sword looks stupid!” He sneers. “Just like your face!"

I hold my makeshift sword in the air. "I don't care! I'm going to win!"

Bruce spits on the ground. "Come get it, bird boy."

I charge at him, madly waving my sword. Instantly, the weapon is knocked out of my hands. Solid wood slams me across the head, and I fall back, stunned.

I lost again.

Bruce has my handmade sword in his hands. Laughing, he snaps the sword in half. "Sparrow kid is such a loser." Two pieces of hand carved wood hit the ground.

I stand up. I’m really angry.

"Cast: Earthball!" I have no idea what I'm doing, but I'm pointing my palm at Bruce.

He looks at me and laughs, but a ball of mud fires out of my hand and smashes Bruce in the chest, flooring him.

For the first time in my life, my WatchGuy displays 7/10 Magic points. I did it! I used magic!

Bruce screams and rolls in the mud. "Cheater!"

"I don't care! You're the cheater!"

I scream, "Call: BattleSparrow!" A small tornado forms, wind whipping me across the face. A dark bird emerges from the tornado.

For a moment, a mud-stained Bruce stares at my BattleSparrow in disbelief.

"Attack: BattleSparrow!"

The bird starts to swarm Bruce. He screams and runs away waving his arms, the sparrow chasing and pecking him without mercy.

Morning

I double check my energy potions, the Dethbrews or whatever that lanky alchemist dude called them. They are there, all three of them. Jade and Rock are already up. I told the innkeeper to wake up Rock at sunrise, or otherwise we’d be waiting on him forever.

After a quick porridge breakfast, we retrieve our HorseHounds from the stables. I shell out a couple bronze to the stable keeper. Conker is excited to see me, neighing and prancing and doing all his happy doggy-horse stuff. I untie him, and we hit the road. Rock has the DraculaDragon lair drilled into his WatchGuy, so we are headed in the right direction.

The mountains are glorious in the morning light. Massive and gray, they reach towards the sky, poking holes in puffy clouds. Typical dragon country really—dragons usually prefer mountains. Of course, there are SwampDragons and stuff, but as a whole, dragons like mountains.

I can see why. If I were a dragon, I would have my lair on a high mountain. You know, chill on top of my mountain lair, leave every now and then to raid a village or maul a deer or something. Fight pesky warriors that are eager to prove their valor. The dragon life sounds pretty cool.

The trail is steep and windy. Conker has a bit of trouble with the gravel, sliding around occasionally. I look to the left—there is a steep drop off. The blue abyss is pretty intimidating. I try not to think about falling off to a horrible death.

By late afternoon, we make it to the DraculaDragon's lair. There’s a sign out front with a skull and crossbones.

We dismount our HorseHounds.

Jade runs to the sign and points. "Oh, look! A sign telling us not to go in! Isn't that fantastic? A perfect invitation. Come on Rock, you’ve got to charge in! You ready?"

Rock shrugs. "Yeah.... Let's drink our energy potions first."

I take a Dethbrew from my backpack. Noxious yellow liquid bubbles in the glass container.

Skeptically, I remove the cork. A whoosh of air blows across my face. "Should we actually drink this stuff?"

Jade grabs the potion from my hand and takes a giant whiff. She makes a face and screeches, "It smells awful! Like pineapple mixed with hot pepper and old sewer water!"

"Come on,” Rock says. “We bought them for a reason.” He reaches for a potion. “Gimme one of those."

I hand Rock a Dethbrew. He pops the lid and drains half the potion. He scowls, obviously not a huge fan of the taste, but he finishes the vial anyway and throws it into the abyss.

Jade takes one sip and gags. "Ugh, this is awful! It tastes like sweet vomit! I can't do it." She puts down the potion.

"Quit whining, Jade!" Rock bellows.

Jade makes a face at him.

I raise an eyebrow. "Really? It's that bad?" I take a sip of the Dethbrew. Whoa, it's pungent, but I kind of like it. Reminds me of...I dunno. Adventure?

I savor the sweet-sour flavor. "You know, I like it." I down the rest of the potion and let out a slow burp.

I feel the initial energy surge, a strong sensation that tingles my fingers. "You feeling this, Rock?"

"Ahh. The Rock Star feels good." He pauses, then swings his axe in a flash. "Ready to rumble!"

I glance at my WatchGuy. Sixty-eight magic points! "Hey guys! The potion boosted my maximum magic points by five! That means more hardcore duck calling."

Jade holds up her vial. "You want the rest of mine then?"

"Nah, my fingers are already twitching. I've had enough."

Jade throws her nearly full vial off the cliff. I also chuck my Dethbrew flask into the bottomless pit.

Time to plan. "OK, so basic strategy is the same as last time. Rock, you berserker cry and charge in like a madman with a hardcore death wish. Jade and I will stand back and deal damage. I'm going to call my duck now so I can use it for utility and stuff."

Jade asks, "Which duck are you going to call?"

I sigh, conflicted. "Well, there are just so many options. DraculaDragons don't have any glaring weaknesses. I'm probably going with a ZombieDuck."

"ZombieDuck!?” Jade yells. “Like the one you called to fight off those pterodactyls that attacked us when Rock decided to steal their eggs—"

"I didn't steal their eggs!” Rock says. “I was just trying to—"

"And then Rock stole the eggs and they attacked us and you had to call something, because I was out of arrows and Rock left his axe behind at camp. Which was a stupid thing to do, because why would you leave your weapon if you're trying to rob—"

Rock smacks his axe against the ground in frustration. "I wasn't trying to steal the eggs! I was trying to move them because of that—"

Jade moans, "Why would you ever decide to move a pterodactyl egg? They are territorial creatures!"

"Stop! It doesn't matter! Yes, that ZombieDuck." I take a moment to focus. "Call: ZombieDuck!"

The earth begins to crack in front of me. Slowly, a zombified figure rises from the ground: mutilated feathers, a crooked and worn bill, glaring red ZombieDuck eyes. The duck moans, "Quaaaaack," sending shivers down my spine. This duck can regenerate and come back to life and stuff, but it's still a creepy little scrap of bird flesh.

Rock glares at the duck. "That thing scares the crap out of me!"

"Oh, I think he's adorable!” Jade shoots back. “Look at his little decrepit wings and slimy feet."

I look at the ZombieDuck's feet. Oh gosh! They are slimy.

"You say everything is adorable!” Rock huffs. “That duck-thing is a nasty piece of work, and you know it!"

Jade rolls her eyes. "Well, at least I have an opinion! All you do is scowl and huff and swing your axe around like you are some haughty barbarian prince!"

Rock looks flustered. "Heck yeah, I'm a barbarian prince. You got a problem with that, princess Jade?"

"Don't you ever call me princess!” Jade stamps her foot angrily. “That's the most arrogant thing I've heard since—"

I sigh and smack my forehead. "Come on guys! Would you stop bickering? We have to kill this giant vampire bat-dragon thing!"

Jade mumbles, "Fine...."

Rock shakes his head and stares at his axe. He finally says, "Sure. I'm going to charge. Everyone ready?"

Jade nods, silent.

I crack my neck and pick up my ZombieDuck. His slimy feathers press against my chest and face. I take in a whiff of ZombieDuck feathers—which by the way, smell like rotted duck flesh—and croak, "Yeah dude, I'm ready." My staff is strapped across my back for quick access.

Rock unleashes a bloodcurdling cry and charges into the den. Jade follows closely behind, and then I scamper in, clutching my groaning undead duck.

There it is. A colossal black dragon with scales shining like the night. Wait, the night doesn't really shine, does it? I dunno.

But you know what I'm trying to say. Evil, glowing eyes peer at us. Its vampire teeth are massive. Got to avoid those teeth.

His bat-like wings unfurl, swooping into a crescent form. They seem a bit furry, different from the scaly texture of the rest of his body.

Rock briefly hesitates, and the dragon roars—a piercing cry that thunders through the cave.

I drop ZombieDuck and whip out a throwing knife. Rock charges the DraculaDragon, but the monster lifts into the air on giant bat wings. Rock shakes his axe at the flying dragon in frustration.

Jade fires an arrow. The silver dart slams into the foot of the beast, lodging into place. A DraculaDragon cry pierces the air.

The dragon spirals towards Jade, flashing razor teeth. Jade shrieks and reappears at Rock's side in a flash of smoke. Rock charges the dragon again. The beast sends a spiked tail flying into Rock’s midsection. The blow knocks Rock off his feet, and he slams into the cave wall—hard. A dazed Rock slides to the ground. The DraculaDragon follows up the chase, pouncing on the fallen Rock.

I throw my knife at the dragon's back, but the steel bounces off hard scales. Well, that failed.

As the DraculaDragon sinks his teeth into Rock's back, Jade screams at me, "Do something!"

Time to bring out the ducks.

"Attack: ZombieDuck!" On wretched wings, the duck flies at the dragon. My ZombieDuck means business.

I pull out my staff and charge. Jade yells, "Enchant: Frost Arrow!"

DraculaDragon continues to drink Rock's blood.

ZombieDuck bites the dragon on the wing, dealing no visible damage.

I slam my staff into the dragon's tail, the impact jarring my hands. Jade shoots him in the snout with an ice arrow.

The force of the arrow rips the razor teeth from Rock, sending shards of ice into the dragon’s face and eyes. It roars as it zooms back into the air. The ZombieDuck is still clenched onto the wing of the dragon, flapping up and down as the dragon flies.

Rock gets up, pale faced. He holds his bleeding neck. "Crap! Too close man, too close. Is your stupid duck going to do anything?"

I crack my neck. You can hate on me, but don't be hating on my ZombieDuck.

I scream, "Enrage: ZombieDuck!" The duck quacks furiously and doubles in size. It grows sharp claws and starts slashing the DraculaDragon's wing. The dragon roars and tumbles to the ground, smacking with an impact that rattles the cave. The beast then viciously bites ZombieDuck in the head. The undead duck falls to the ground with a lifeless thump.

Rock rushes forward, swinging his axe wildly at the DraculaDragon, slashing dragon thigh. Blood pours down dark scales. The dragon headbutts Rock in the ribcage, slamming him to the ground. Rock desperately chucks a garlic bomb at the raging beast. BANG!

A garlic cloud fills the air. The dragon roars, irritated by the pungent odor. Rock scrambles away, covering his ears and wincing.

I yell, "Enchant Weapon: Darkness!" My staff morphs into a dark rod. Seven magic left. Not enough.

Jade whirls a pair of nunchucks, and Rock spits on the ground and brandishes his axe like a total axe bro.

I shrug at Jade. "Final Charge?"

She smiles wildly. "Final Charge!"

Rock squints with hazy eyes. "What?"

The DraculaDragon roars menacingly.

My ZombieDuck lies dead in a corner, duck tongue flopping out of his bill.

"Resurrect: ZombieDuck!"

"Quaaaaaack." The duck moans as it rises. The DraculaDragon spots the rising duck and pounces, his vampire teeth sinking into the duck’s torso. The midnight creature feasts on duck blood.

We all charge. Rock swings his axe, Jade twirls her nunchucks, and I wield my giant SquirNinja staff. Rock hammers the dragon in the head, I smack the wings furiously, and Jade strikes the scaly neck with an expert twirl of nunchucks.

The dragon screams and topples over. He’s dead!

I take a deep breath.

"Yes!" Jade yells and breaks into an ecstatic victory dance. Rock groans in relief and drops his axe on the cave floor with a clang.

We win! Awesome.

The DraculaDragon explodes in a cloud of smoke, knocking me off my feet. Rock smacks the ground next to me, and I hear Jade scream from somewhere close.

In the dragon’s place stands a pale man, laughing hysterically. He has one of those evil sounding laughs, sort of like a mad scientist or a demon or something. "Foolish warriors. I am not a mere DraculaDragon. I am Count Dragula!”

“Wait, Count Dragula?” Jade yells back. “Not Dracula, but Dragula?”

Dragula’s blood red eyes glow. “Yes, silly girl. My idiotic cousin is likely somewhere in Transylvania chasing the Gothic women. He is nowhere as cool as I, nor can he transform into a dragon! But enough stalling.” Dragula hisses, showing pointed teeth. “I will now take your souls!”

What did he just say? "Wait, what? You're taking my soul? How does that even work?"

"Yeah!” Jade adds. “That seems a little fishy.... I'm not buying this!"

"I don't believe you!” Rock yells. “You're not taking my soul. My soul is rock hard!" Rock thumps his chest. "Rock hard!" he repeats.

Jade rolls her eyes. "We get it Rock. You can stop now."

Rock smiles coolly. "Rock hard!"

"Shut up already!" Jade yells.

Dragula stretches his hand toward us and a light bursts from my chest. I look at Rock and he is staring at a glowing substance streaming from his ribcage.

Count Dragula laughs maniacally as the light condenses into three separate spheres that float on top of his thin hands. "Now that I have your souls, after ten days of waiting patiently, I will have control over your bodies!"

"Why after ten days?” I say. “That seems incredibly random."

Count Dragula merely scoffs. "See you kids in ten days."

He disappears in a puff of smoke.

Rock rolls off the ground. "What was that? Why did they send us to fight Count Dragula? He's a legendary monster, right?"

"I dunno. I just don't know. Everything was going pretty well...."

Jade is up and running in circles, clutching her heart with both hands. "No! Not my soul! Not the precious life-being that sustains me!"

Rock spits on the ground. "Jade, calm down, we can figure this out."

Jade stops running and glares at Rock. "Right…no problem. We just got our souls stolen by Count Dragula! No big deal! I'm going to be a human puppet in ten days! No big deal?"

My mind is numb. "I'm sorry guys. This is my fault. I should have called another duck or something. I mean, I didn't really have any extra magic points, but I just let him wreck us! I suck. I don't think I'm fit for WarriorCore." I roll onto my stomach, face down on the cold cavern floor.

Rock smacks me on the back. The impact thuds my spine. "Don't worry about it, Sparrow. We’ll get our souls back. I’ll just have to run down Dragula and teach that punk a lesson. And yeah, not everyone can fight as well as the Rock Star. You'll get there someday, if you keep at it." I glance up to see him flex his shoulder muscles.

I hear Jade's voice bouncing across the cave. "Yeah, Sparrow, you did great! ZombieDuck is my favorite! The way he mauled that DraculaDragon? Awesome!" Jade pauses briefly." And Rock, could you do the universe a favor and never refer to yourself as the Rock Star again?"

Rock smiles. "The Rock Star listens to nobody. He is a strong independent male who requires no female companion, but takes one anyway." Rock winks at her.

Jade grumbles under her breath. "Such an idiot."

I look around the empty cave. Nothing left here. "Let's just get our HorseHounds and get the heck out of here,” I say. “We can tell Spade that we somehow angered some Count Dragula dude who just ripped the souls right out of our very own flesh. He should have an answer for us."

CH 5: Time for Adventure and Stuff

Spade's eyes glow in surprise. “It’s just rotten luck! Never know when a legendary monster is disguised as a common one! Last time this happened, my recruits were instantly killed, mauled to death by a Hydra that was disguised as a pizza." He paces around his office, waving his hands with gusto.

Jade pipes up, "How can a Hydra be disguised as a pizza?"

Rock nudges her. "Shut up Jade, this is serious!"

My stomach clenches in pain. "So we are good as dead?"

"No, not by a long shot.” Spade lets out a deep sigh. “But he is telling the truth. In ten days, you guys are puppet slaves to Count Dragula."

Rock flexes his back nervously.

Jade whimpers, "Is there any good news?"

Spade flashes a rough smile. "You guys just gotta find the Count and take him out. And I know exactly where he is."

Rock lets out a sigh of relief.

At least we have a chance. "You’re serious? You know where he is?"

"Of course I'm serious.” Spade clears his throat. “It's not going to be easy, but it's possible. First off, I would send the entire Core to kill Dragula, but you three have to be the ones. Once you kill him, your souls will shoot out randomly. If somebody who already has a soul accidently inherits another, then…that person explodes."

"Explodes?” Jade says. “Like on the spot in an extremely painful and fiery death?"

"Yup. Boom! So you must go alone. And it's not going to be an easy journey. Unfortunately, because of legalistic teleportation regulations that I don't understand because I'm not a teleportation lawyer, you can't teleport straight there. Darn laws, always gettin' in my way." Spade waves his fist at the sky. "Instead, you're going to have to journey through three regions. Let me show you." Spade lays his WatchGuy on his desk. "WatchGuy: Display!" A hologram of the Warscapian map appears out of thin air.

Spade points at an area named BoggsLand. "First, you guys have to make it through BoggsLand. That place is rough, full of Zombie Cyborgs, Skeletal Kangaroos, and Heavy Metal Goblins. The region is named after the great Warscapian explorer, Garrett Boggs."

"Garrett Boggs?” Rock’s voice is filled with abundant admiration. “I've heard he's a really cool guy!"

Jade swoons. "Oh, definitely. He’s almost as cool as Granite.” She gets that dreamy look in her eyes.

"Wow!” Rock exclaims. “Looks like we actually agree about how cool Garrett is. What a strange coincidence."

Hmm.... That name sounds familiar. I'm sure I've heard it somewhere. I just can't quite place it. Cool name, anyway.

Jade squints. "What's so dangerous about the Heavy Metal Goblins?"

"They play heavy metal way too loud!” Spade says. “It will destroy your ears, and heavy metal corrupts the soul."

"But I have no soul!" Jade wails.

"Yeah, Jade is right—for once,” Rock says. “We don't got souls anymore."

"Hmmmm.…” Spade grunts. “Good point, but it's still bad for you. Nobody ought to trust a Heavy Metal Goblin. After BoggsLand, you must cross Desertopia. There’s a lot of sand there, so I've heard."

Jade raises her hand. "Just sand? What's so bad about sand?"

"Sand? Sand!” Rock’s eyes grow huge. “I hate sand! It's so coarse and rough! And it gets everywhere!”

Spade shrugs his shoulders. "Come on Rock, a bit of sand never hurt anybody."

"Ahh, OK.” Rock grins. “I'll rip the sand to pieces! Rock destroys sand." He throws a punch into midair. He then whispers to Jade, "Don't worry, baby girl, I'll protect you from all the sand."

“Shut up, Rock!” Jade groans.

"The third area is the most treacherous. You need to survive WizardsWorld!"

Rock and Jade collectively gasp in horror.

I seem to be out of the loop. "What's so scary about WizardsWorld?"

"There are witches and wizards and many other hostile magic users,” Spade answers. “They enjoy preying on those they consider inferior, which may or may not be you. So just get through there in one piece."

"Alright, sweet.” I cough. “Just need to get through BoggsLand, Desertopia, and WizardsWorld. That's it?"

"Yes, young Sparrow. That is the journey before you."

Rock flexes a bicep. "You know, because this is a special mission and all, can I get an extra sweet battle axe?"

Spade's eyes gleam. "Well Rock, I do actually have something for you." From behind his desk, Spade retrieves a giant spiked shovel, razor edges glimmering in the light.

"No way!” Rock gasps in awe. “The shovel of the legendary Shovel Slayer! Spade, you’re the Shovel Slayer?"

"Yup.” Spade cracks a sly smile. “Well, I was the Shovel Slayer. But I'm an old man now, it's time for me to pass on the torch—err, shovel. Rock, will you take my gardening instrument that I morphed into a weapon?"

Rock grabs the shovel and thrusts it up into the air. "Awesome! Does this mean I'm the new Shovel Slayer?"

"No. Gotta do something big first."

"Got it. What weapon will you use now?"

Spade winks at him. "Ahh, don't worry about me. I have plenty of weapons."

A moment of silence passes.

"So, this is it?” I say. “Do we take the HorseHounds?"

“Unfortunately not,” Spade says. “They won’t be able to survive Desertopia. They aren't camels, you know.”

Shoot. I like Conker. “So when do we leave?”

Spade sighs. "Pretty much as soon as possible. We'll give you the supplies, and then you’ll teleport to BoggsLand."

We get our next load of gear. Enough food for a week, money for when we run out of food, and the next level of armor. We all grab light leather, as speed is going to be key here, and we can't get weighed down with heavy armor or anything.

Now that we are set, I grab the teleportation tablet to BoggsLand.

I glance at Spade and notice bags under his eyes. He looks pretty stressed. I wonder if he’s worried about us. "Should we go?"

"Yeah. Go on ahead. If trouble strikes, remember the key value of WarriorCore. Never back down from a challenge!”

“Yes sir!” I chant in unison with Rock and Jade.

Rock, Jade and I join hands, and I throw down the tablet. Boom—off to BoggsLand.

CH 6: BoggsLand—10 days left

The first thing I notice is the purple ground. There are rolling indigo hills, populated with an occasional dead tree. I hear the ribbit of a frog and the buzz of a giant mosquito. There is a marsh to my right—a steaming pit of oozing sludge. Wouldn't want to fall there. We’d probably suffocate to death slowly, or at least get awkwardly stuck.

The sky is smoldering gray. An acid green moon peers through a wall of mist. Though it is night, the moon still gives us enough light to see around and stuff.

Jade shudders. "Ugh, this place is nasty!"

Rock spits on the ground and checks his WatchGuy. He points behind him. "So, we go that way?"

A single path winds through the marshy BoggsLand mess. "Yup,” I say. “Looks like our trail."

We start hiking down the trail. I’m shouldering my pack, which is moderately heavy, but I can handle it. I think.

I kinda miss Conker.

The trail is filled with loose purple pebbles, which feel strangely soft under my boots.

After a couple of hours, we stop to rest in a small clearing. It's surrounded by a swamp. The mucky water is bubbling and filthy—BoggsWater.

Jade looks at the swamp. "How long do we have to be here?"

Rock glances at his WatchGuy. "WatchGuy claims two or three days."

"Guess we gotta get used to it." I throw a pebble in the swamp. It makes a little splash.

The ambient croaking of frogs slowly becomes overwhelming.

Jade pipes up. "Is it just me, or are the frogs getting louder?"

"What did you say?” Rock yells. “I can't hear you over all these stupid frogs!"

" IS IT JUST ME, OR—"

A bulky frog hops in front of Jade. It's about the size of a small dog. It looks at her with watery frog eyes. "Ribbit?"

Jade squeaks in delight. "Aww, look at the cute little froggy." Jade lifts up the frog with both hands. "Sparrow, Rock, look! I caught a froggy!" The massive frog wiggles in her grip, sticky legs flopping everywhere.

Rock spits on the ground. "Jade, in ten days, I'm going to become a human puppet. I don't think we have time to collect—" Another massive frog hops on his foot. Rock frantically kicks the creature off his boot, hurling the slimy thing back into the marsh.

"Ahh!” Rock yells. “Did you see that? That frog attacked me!”

Jade lets go of her frog. "No he didn't! He just hopped on your shoe!" Jade’s giant frog jumps back into the water.

I see a mass of frogs bubbling to the top of the swamp. But wait—these aren't normal frogs. They are way too big. I’m looking at a bunch of FatFrogs, monsters that specialize in suffocation through sheer number. I grab my backpack. "Guys, we have a problem!"

Rock puffs his chest. "Yeah, we got a problem! Jade thinks she can go save the animals and whatever—"

"All I'm saying is that you don't have to freak out if just a little harmless frog jumps—"

I scream again, pointing. "PROBLEM GUYS! PROBLEM!"

Jade snaps her head around. For a moment, she simply stares at the mass of frogs. She takes off, screaming, "RUN!"

Rock stumbles towards his backpack, which is already covered with FatFrogs. He grabs the pack, but it’s too heavy with all the added frog-weight. Jade takes off, flying down the trail. I run after her. Rock gives up on the backpack and starts sprinting.

Wind buffeting my face, I look back at Rock. A clump of FatFrogs are stuck to his calf. I hear him screaming, “Crap!"

I feel sticky fingers grab my ear. "Agh!" I grab the frog monster and throw it into the swamp.

I keep running, but I hear a muffled "Help!" I turn and Rock has fallen over, covered in a growing mound of FatFrogs. I yell at Jade to stop, but my scream is silenced by overwhelming frog noise. She keeps sprinting.

Oh shoot! What should I do?

FatFrogs keep piling on Rock until he becomes a boulder of moving frog parts. He's suffocating.

Wind magic. That’s what I need. Some freakin’ wind magic.

"Cast: Wind Slam!"

A thunderous gust of wind crashes into the pile of Fatfrogs, sending them flying in all directions. Rock is blown into a nearby tree, breaking the dead wood in half. He rolls onto the ground. I run to grab him, but he stumbles to his feet.

I yell, "Run!" Rock takes off sprinting ahead of me, and I follow him. Slowly but surely, I hear the croaking diminish until it fades.

We reach Jade and stop. Rock takes a moment to catch his breath. He mumbles between full gasps, "I hate frogs. Hate them, hate them, hate them."

I pat him on the shoulder. "It's fine. We made it out alright. Those weren't normal frogs, by the way. They were definitely FatFrogs. Let's just get back on the trail."

Rock stares at Jade. "Jade, why didn't you stop?"

Jade looks down. "Sorry, I didn't look back."

Rock crosses his arms. "Whatever."

Only a few seconds in and we got jumped by a giant swarm of FatFrogs. Our luck is totally at an all-time high.

We hit the trail again. The croaking is minimal, but it's putting me on edge after that close call. The trail has gotten soggy and some water has seeped through my boots. My feet are wet and nasty. It’s not too hot, but it’s humid and kind of, well, boggish. A bright moon is setting, and I can just see a dim sun creeping over the landscape. Oddly, it's getting darker as the sun rises.

We pound the trail, but still no city in sight. Jade chatters on about her younger siblings.

"And Garnet just passed her first children's quests! She's seven, isn't she just adorable!?" Jade waves around a picture of a little girl who looks like a mini-Jade.

"And then there's Steelen, who is having a bit of a hard time in middle grade training ground. But he just joined the ninja club! He likes it a lot! I remember the first time I showed him ninja tricks, and he was just so good at them! I'm so proud of Steelen." She shows off a picture of a boy with a mischievous smile.

"And of course, how could I forget to talk about little Dragonface! She's the baby of the family and just stopped wearing diapers—"

"Dragonface?" Rock exclaims. "Your little sister’s name is Dragonface? Isn't that kind of weird?"

"What? No! Dragonface is a normal name for a young girl! It's way more creative and fun than a name like Rock!"

"Look, a city!” I point to structures in the distance, happy to break up their argument. "We should spend the night there." The city gleams like it’s made out of metal or something.

Jade snaps out of her family chatter trance. "Oh great! We can get supplies!"

A power chord echoes in the distance.

"Sure,” Rock says. “Wait, are those the Heavy Metal Goblins? Should I go massacre their entire village? Because I could totally do that real quick." Rock flexes his forearms.

I stare at the murky purple sky. "Uhh…I dunno man. Let's just go there with weapons down. I don't want to fight unless we have to."

"OK. I can go stealth mode."

As we walk towards the city, the noise of distorted guitar chords grows louder. There is a giant drum set visible over spiky metal walls. A dancing Thunder Dragon is painted on the front of the drum with bright lightning bolts in the background.

Jade whispers, "I think these are the Heavy Metal Goblins."

"So what?” Rock shrugs. “I'm not scared of anything! I am The Rock Star! Son of Boulder the Brave, younger sibling of the legendary Granite! I don't back down." His voice trembles slightly and he violently pulls out his shovel.

"Rock! What happened to stealth mode?" I groan.

Rock grins. "I got you bro. Stealth mode activated." He puts away the shovel.

As we get to the gate, we see a goblin wielding a guitar. He seems to be guarding the city. The creature’s face is green, and he’s rocking a grungy hairdo. A bunch of metal studs and zippers hang from his ripped leather jacket. He's mindlessly strumming a few chords on an electric guitar as he sees us coming.

"Whoa dudes, hold up!" The goblin yells. "To get into Mythic Falls, you gotta answer the following question! Name three of the top seven most popular metal bands in the past year! And I'm talking hardcore metal, no fringe stuff."

Rock scratches his head.

Jade points at the goblin's electric guitar. “Is that a banjo?” She whispers to me. “I’ve never seen one before, but I think that's a banjo! Isn't that awesome?"

Clearly, this is my territory. "Gears and Gauntlets have to be up there. Drunken Dragons too, for sure. And then there's the Lizard Monkey Den. Their guitar solos are insane! Oh yeah, probably Death Fire Catapult Assault. I love their bass, it's always on point. I'm also going to say—"

The goblin holds up his hands. "Whoa, whoa there little dude! Nice. You can totally go in. Who are you who is so wise in the ways of heavy metal?"

"Oh, my name is Sparrow. Sick, you got a BlasterCast 3000? Those are pretty sweet – they’re supposed to have slick finger control and a super nice tone."

The goblin looks at his guitar. "Yeah, I'm digging it so far. OK, you guys are good. Just don't cause any trouble."

The goblin opens the gate, and we stroll into Mythic Falls. The city is surprisingly clean with buildings that seem to be made of industrial grade sheet metal. There is a group of teenage goblins drinking Dethbrews and riding around on skateboards. One rides by and yells, "Gnarly, look at the humans! They’re so weird." They board away laughing before I can reply. Not that I’m really good at comebacks or anything.

Every building is jam-packed with electric guitars, amps, and distortion pedals galore. Percussion instruments line the streets: bongos, cymbals, strange types of drums I've never seen before. This place is cool.

"Hey, this place is pretty sweet,” I say. “I could hang out here for a couple days."

Jade whispers, "I don't like it."

Rock shrugs. "It suits the Rock Star's needs for the moment."

I feel a surge of energy. "Look at all the equipment. They obviously shred here all day and night. Like, who wouldn't want that? That guy at the gate was super chill. It would be awesome if we could just hang out here a day or two."

Rock shakes his head. "Sparrow, we have to get our souls back! We can spend the night, but after that we need to split. I lost my backpack, remember? I need to buy some supplies. I'll meet you guys at the inn for dinner." He struts off in search of a general store.

Jade yawns and says she's going to find the inn and grab a bite to eat. I shrug and follow her, but I really just want to check out the music.

We get to the inn, and it's pretty packed. There is a goblin band up on stage, shredding heavily. The dissonant noise pounds my ears, filling me with some alien elation. I mutter to Jade, "Dude, this is a sick riff. We should grab food and hang out."

“Sure!” Jade twirls her hair with her pointer finger.

"OK cool." I walk up to the counter. The innkeeper is a goblin in a black leather vest and skinny gray jeans. One of his ears is pierced like a pirate, and he has a tattoo of a monkey on his forearm.

"So, you guys got food here?"

"Course we do. We are an inn, right?"

"Oh yeah,” I reply sheepishly. “That makes sense."

"We got burgers, fries, and thrasher stew. The thrasher stew is flavored with authentic Space Rhino dung. It’s pretty gnarly. You want to buy something for your girlfriend?"

My palms start to sweat. "Her? No, we aren't together. She's just a friend."

The goblin raises an eyebrow. "Ahh, just a friend. That's how it always starts, kid. Next thing you know, you'll have six kids. Happened to me that way." The goblin gestures to several goblin children playing guitars. "I got my own band." The goblin bursts out in heartwarming laughter.

"Anyway, it's one silver for a burger. I highly recommend the thrasher stew, which is only one silver and three copper. I can also hit you up with Dethbrews for two silver a piece."

"Dude! You guys got Dethbrews? Sweet. I'll take one Dethbrew and a couple hamburgers." Had to pass up on the Space Rhino dung.

The goblin hands me the goods in exchange for four silver. "Have fun with your girlfriend. Just don't get chained down too early." He adds with a wink.

I give a burger to Jade. "Jade, they have Dethbrews!"

Jade sticks out her tongue. "Don't we only use those for pre-fight hype?"

I shrug and take a sip of the bubbling yellow liquid. It fills me with electric excitement.

Jade takes a bite of her burger. "Hey, this is pretty good! I’m surprised.” She smiles at me and my mind flashes to what the innkeeper just told me. What? No, we’re just friends. Besides, we may both be Dragula’s slaves in a few short days.

But let’s enjoy the music tonight. After we finish our burgers, I ask Jade, "Hey, we should go party with all those goblins!" I gesture at the moshing mass of dancing goblins.

"I hate the music, but sure!" She heads into the crowd.

Rock walks in with a new pack of supplies, looking rather lost. I point to the counter. "Dude, they got burgers! And some thrasher soup stuff, but I would probably go with the burgers."

Rock groans. "Awesome. The Rock Star hungers." He orders two burgers and one thrasher stew while I head into the pack of dancing goblins. Usually I hate dancing because it makes me feel super awkward, but I'm so excited by this chill goblin city and the Dethbrew that I don't really care.

The music is heavy and fast paced. Goblins sure know how to party, jumping up and down in punk-rock style.

Absorbed in the music, my worries melt away. It's just me, Jade, and a bunch of crazy Heavy Metal Goblins. This is sick. And super safe.

I decide that I need a dancing partner. "Call: DiscoDuck!" Bright lights form a rainbow colored duck. Its slick feathers reflect off the dance floor. The duck starts grooving—wings flapping, legs waddling, head bobbing to the music.

One goblin yells over the noise. "Dude, look at that rad bird!"

Another goblin laughs. "Whoa! That's sick-nasty cool, bro!"

The duck pulls off a perfect moonwalk, sliding over the dance floor with incredible grace. If only I could dance like my DiscoDuck.

I see Rock playing air guitar with his shovel. He's totally into the beat, strumming along to the rhythm.

Jade is in her own happy world, dancing and giggling with light steps in between the mass of moshing goblins.

After much dancing, the music finally ends. We are all exhausted, so we pay for some beds, and I'm out as soon as I hit the mattress.

Sleep

I have Sparta on my shoulder, and I'm leaning against a mossy boulder.

"Sparta! Tomorrow is the annual co-op flower picking quest! If I asked Topaz, do you think she would go with me?"

Sparta replies with a sharp chirp. He nibbles my chin and lowers his head, indicating that he wants to get scratched on his neck. I start gently scratching.

"All you ever want is to get scratched, silly bird." I pull a hard roll out of my backpack and feed it to the sparrow. He clucks happily and eats from my hand. Once finished with the roll, he flies around me in ecstatic circles. I guess Sparta isn't giving me any answers. Better go find out for myself.

I'm at the children's training ground. One side of the field is full of kid's monsters. Slimes, giant slugs, and sand gophers! The training ground is a place for kids to kill monsters and go on basic quests. When I grow up, I'm going to kill the biggest and strongest monsters and complete the hardest quests! But today, I'm going to see if Topaz will go flower picking with me.

I see Topaz. She is drawing a picture of a sheep, probably for an art quest. I run towards her. She sees me, and I smile. "Topaz, Topaz! Hi!"

She stops drawing for a moment. "Hi, Jasper."

"There is the flower picking competition tomorrow! Will you go with me?" The words come out fast, like a mini cyclone.

"I would go with you. But, you know....” She gives me a cute little frown. “Jasper, you're weird! And I'm not weird. So I don't think we should go together."

She goes back to drawing the sheep.

When I come home, Mom is stirring a pot of vegetable soup.

I run up to her, stammering, "Mommy, Mommy, am I weird?"

My mom stops stirring.

"No Jasper, you're not weird."  She picks me up and snuggles her head into my hair. "You're wacky! Wonderfully wacky." She puts me back down and starts stirring again.

I wander back to my backpack. I'm wacky? I thought that was the same as being weird.

Morning—9 days left

I get up. The moon is shining on my face. Man, I wish I could stay here. Hang out with these cool goblins and start a band or something.

But I gotta get my soul back. Maybe after that I can start my hit band.

Jade is up and yelling at Rock like a dog. "Come, Rocky! Come, boy."

Rock emits a gravelly groan. "Ugh. Stop calling me Rocky. I'm not your dog."

"Good, Rocky!” Jade grins. “Sit boy, sit!"

I laugh, and Rock finally tumbles out of bed. We grab our gear and head out of Mythic Falls. Leaving the gates, I feel a sense of dread. Nine more days. We have little more than a week.

I peer back towards the city, taking in all the metal for one last glance.

Jade takes a deep breath. "So, how close are we to Desertopia?"

"Pretty close.” Rock checks his WatchGuy. “Might get to Desertopia tonight if we make good progress. Which we won't because Jade is so slow."

Jade takes off running. "Catch me if you can, Rocky!" Jade disappears ahead of us.

Rock simply keeps walking. "Chivalry,” he says. “Got to let the chicks win every now and then."

We find Jade eventually.

The trail winds slowly up and down steady hills. It's tough walking, but after an hour we take a break. I sip some water while Rock gives his shovel a test swing. Moonlight glints off the spade.

As we start moving down the trail again, we hear nothing but the occasional croaking of frogs. Eventually, we come to a solid stone bridge that crosses a deep ravine. The bridge is extremely long; I can just barely see the other side, but it looks solid enough. I take a test step. The bridge holds. I nod at Jade and Rock. "Looks good to me."

We head down the bridge. It's fairly wide, but there are no guard rails, so it's rather unnerving. Jade laughs. "Oh gosh, this is crazy!” she says. “You think the goblins built this thing?"

I hadn't thought about it. I shrug. "I dunno. Maybe."

We are halfway through the bridge when I hear a deep voice grumble from the abyss. "Travelers, get off my bridge!"

I freeze.

"Who said that?" Jade asks.

Rock scratches his back with his shovel. "Wasn't me."

Jade rolls her eyes. "Well, I knew that...."

I hear a powerful rumble of wings beneath me.

Rocks eyes widen. "It's probably a dragon!" He pauses for a second. "Not that I'm scared or anything." Rock flexes his chest muscles.

A giant goose head emerges, shiny metal bill gleaming against the purple background.

The rest of the goose rises above the bridge. It has massive throbbing wings and a tail the size of a small tree. Webbed feet hold a deadly flaming sword. "Who dares pass my bridge?" bellows the goose.

I whisper to Jade. "That's a Flamesaber goose. Monster level three hundred. We can't fight that thing!"

“What did you say?” Rock yells. "Fight it? I can take this goose—any day of the week." Rock lifts his shovel threateningly. "And it's a Monday. Which means this goose just got cooked!"

Jade yells, "No!" and grabs Rock's shovel.

"Hey!" Rock screams. "Give that back!"

They scuffle while I yell to the goose. "We are sorry, Mister Goose!"

“Call me Jerry!" The goose sizes me up with piercing eyes.

At the sound of the voice, Rock freezes and Jade snatches his shovel.

"Ha!" Jade cries. "I got it!"

"S-sorry. Jerry,” I stutter. “We didn’t know this was your bridge—”

Rock interrupts, “You should really put up a sign! I can do that real fast if you have—”

“Shut it, kid!” Jerry snaps at him.

My legs start shaking. “Jerry, what do you want from us?"

Steam pours out of his metal bill, creating a small cloud above his head. "Finally, somebody asks what I want! You'd be surprised how many people try to fight me." Jerry twirls around his flaming sword. It flashes in front of my face, and I feel a surge of heat. "What you have to do is…." Jerry is silent for a moment.

He then viciously squawks, “Trick: Carnival Test!” Jerry is now decked out in silly polka dot pants and a goofy top hat. "Hit the target and win yourself a prize. Step right up folks! Come on, don't be shy!"

Jerry bellows more goose magic, and a Heavy Metal Goblin target with a bullseye taped to his forehead appears in the distance. The target moves back and forth quickly, driven by some magical force.

Jade wrinkles her nose. "Why is the target a Heavy Metal Goblin? They are pretty nice!"

Jerry rolls his eyes. "What? Are you joking? They play way too loud! It will destroy your ears and corrupt your soul!"

I look at him skeptically. Why does everybody think that?

"Here are the rules,” Jerry yells. “You each have one shot. You have to hit the bullseye! If you all miss, then my goslings will feast tonight!" Jerry points his sword at me. "The scrawny kid will go first!"

"Hey! I'm not scrawny!"

"Don't give me none of that backtalk! I'm 'bout to wing smack you upside the head!"

I grumble and Jade hands me her bow. I eye the target. It's way far away and moving rapidly. I've shot a bow like three times in my life. There is no way I'm hitting this.

I nock an arrow and line up my shot. Taking a deep breath, I look down range and fire.

The arrow splinters the bottom of the target. Nowhere near the bullseye.

"Muhahaha.” Jerry squawks an evil laugh. “You missed! Two more missed shots and my goslings are feeding tonight!"

"Dang it!" I hand the bow to Rock, hoping that he will make a better shot.

Rock takes the bow and flexes confidently. "Don't worry Sparrow, I'm a master shot. Watch this Jade, you'll really fall for me this time." He throws Jade a flamboyant wink. With firm hands, Rock nocks an arrow and instantly fires.

The arrow flies wide left—a complete miss.

Rock groans. "Could you feel that wind? That was dead on until the stupid wind caught it!"

Jerry completes an airborne back flip, hysterical with bird joy. "You foolish travelers! One more missed shot, and you will pay!"

Jade yells, "Here, give me that!" She grabs the bow out of Rock's hands. Jade expertly grips the bow, an insane grin plastered on her face.

Without hesitation, Jade releases the arrow and drills the bullseye—a perfect shot!

Jade fist pumps ecstatically, and Rock yells, "Take that, you filthy bird!"

Jerry grumbles and retrieves the target. The goose closely peers at the bullseye, and then starts laughing. "Close. Quite close. But the arrow is just out of place!"

“What? No way!” I say. "Come on! It's dead on and you know it!"

Jerry shakes his head. "Nope! Look." He lays down the target in front of me. I look closely. Well darn. The stupid Goose Lord is right. What happens now?

"Meet my army of goslings!" Jerry screeches. He hovers in the air on mighty wings.

For a moment, nothing happens. Then, from each side of the bridge, a mass of short white puffballs starts closing in on us. We are surrounded.

"Stand and fight!" Rock yells. I raise a throwing knife. Jade readies her bow.

"Lower your weapons unless you want a flamesword to the face!"

I slowly lower my knife.

As the white masses come closer, I start to hear soft chirping sounds.

I see fluffy little goslings. They don’t look too intimidating, really. Flamesaber goslings look like normal baby geese with metal bills and sharp claws.

Rock sighs. "Well, what do we do now?"

"I dunno man. Guess we just wait."

Rock lowers his shovel with a grunt. Jade smiles as she puts her bow away.

A baby Flamesaber goose waddles towards me. Jerry screams, "Now feed him! Come on, get some food!"

Rock snaps back, "Wait. I thought you said they were going to eat us?" Jade nudges him in the ribs.

"No, that's not what I meant! You have to feed them, you dolt!"

I shoot my hand into my backpack, grabbing a slightly moldy slice of pizza. Do geese eat pizza?

I slowly offer the slice. The bird sniffs it cautiously with his metal bill, looking a tad confused. It then takes a bite.

With a chirp of delight, the gosling gobbles up the pizza, tearing through the cheese and crust. Next moment, we are swarmed by an army of chirping, delighted Flamesaber goslings. A row of baby birds rub against my leg, excited for food. A few playfully nibble my boots.

Rock yells, "Let's get to the end of the bridge! I don't trust these birds! And don't give them all our food!" He stumbles through the crowd of goslings, protectively shielding his eyes just in case a baby goose goes in for a facial attack.

Jade is dual-wielding—a gosling in one hand and a slice of bread in the other. "Do we have to?" she whines.

Rock barks, "Yes!"

I laugh and scoop up a Flamesaber gosling. The baby bird snuggles against me. I start slowly wading through the crowd of bustling baby geese. Their metal bills jingle, creating a cacophony of twinkling sounds.

We reach the end of the bridge. I’m still holding a soft little gosling.

Jerry is perched down on the bridge. A herd of little geese run onto his back and start nibbling his feathers.

Stone fades into purple BoggsLand ground. We made it across.

The birds all stay on the bridge, huddled in a giant mass. Jade grins and lets go of her gosling. It runs back to the horde with its little metal feet jingling on the stone bridge.

Rock clears his throat in disgust. "Those baby gooses are plotting something. I can see it in their eyes."

I hold my gosling and stare into his little eyes. Slowly, I start scratching soft goose down. "I don't wanna let him go!"

Rock's eyes widen. "Dude. You can't keep that thing. It's going to crap everywhere! And anyway, Jerry probably wouldn't want you to steal his child."

I hug my gosling protectively. He nibbles me with his metal bill. "I don't care, I'll take good care of him!"

Jade points at something in the distance. "Sparrow, you see that there?"

I take my eyes off my gosling and look.

"It's the territory border line. Desertopia is no place to raise a Flamesaber goose. Let him go, so he can grow up with his siblings."

I sigh. With reluctant hands, I lower the gosling to the ground. He runs around in a few ecstatic circles and nibbles my heels. He then runs back into the crowd of fellow goslings. Jerry waves us goodbye with a giant feathered wing. "Take care! And you can come back to feed the goslings any time, scrawny one!"

"I could have taken Jerry in a one-on-one duel,” Rock mumbles. “Would have ridden that goose like a cowboy on a bull, I'll tell you that much."

Jade points in front of her. "There it is."

I take a closer look and see a thin white wall of light. On one side is the dark purple ground of BoggsLand, and on the other side is a powdery mix of yellow and white sands. The sky is parted midway—half smoggy mix, half bright blue sky.

Jade looks up. "Wow! It’s a complete divide."

I shudder in the humid air and step across the line. I'm met by a fresh gust of wind to the face. I take a breath of crisp, dry air. "We made it to Desertopia!" I yell, lifting my arms triumphantly.

Jade cheers, and Rock lets out a celebratory burp.

"Ewww, Rock, that's gross!" Jade shrieks.

Rock flashes a mischievous smile. He then farts loudly, the noise jarring the air. "Rock Star listens to nobody."

Jade gags and holds her nose. "You're the worst!"

I chuckle, grabbing a handful of sand and letting it pour onto the ground. The sand streams in a tiny whirlpool.

I already feel the heat. My armor is coming off, that's for sure. I throw the leather vest in my backpack.

I spot a simple trail of packed dirt set within the white and yellow mass of sand.

Jade points to the trail. "Say we follow it?"

"Duh.” Rock rolls his eyes. “It's the only path around. See any other paths?"

"Whatever, smarty-pants," Jade retorts.

We start heading down the dusty path. A gust of wind drifts across my face. The sun is fierce, and the heat is building fast.

It's warm. And dry. I tip my canteen upside down. No water.

I gasp, "Anybody else have water?"

Jade checks her canteen. "I'm out."

Rock take a swig of water out of his canteen. "Ahh, I'm glad I still have water."

Jade grabs his canteen and drinks it dry. "It's gone now, cowboy."

Rock whines and grabs the canteen back. "Hey! That's not cool!"

"You're not cool!"

I sigh. "Whatever, we obviously need more water. Any ideas?"

“Can you conjure water?" Jade asks.

"Well, I've tried it, of course. It usually doesn't work too well."

Jade looks at her WatchGuy. "Well, my hydration level is at like twenty-three percent. Want to try it again?"

"Sure." I focus, not wanting to mess this up. "Call: Water!"

Out of the sand surges a stream of water. It takes a human form. Standing in front of me is a humanoid water figure.

I point. "Whoa. I just created a WaterDude."

"A WaterDude?” Jade replies. “You sure it's called that?"

I poke the human water thing. "I dunno. Maybe. Seems to fit him."

WaterDude yells, "Hey! Stop it!" Its voice sort of shimmers like a creek.

I start to mumble sorry, but a water-hand smacks me across the face. I recoil, face stinging in pain.

Jade pulls out her bow and Rock yells, "Don't smack my friend!" He charges the WaterDude, smashing it in the head with the metal shovel.

The WaterDude screams and disintegrates into fragments of water, which are quickly absorbed in the sand.

Jade asks, "Are you OK?"

Oh, I'm fine.” I get up, rubbing my face. “WaterDude was lame though. Never calling him again."

I check my WatchGuy. Twelve magic points left! What the heck! "That took fifty-two magic points! Wow, this sucks!"

"Let's just keep rolling.” Rock suggests. “We'll find water eventually."

But no such luck. Sand keeps blowing in my face, and the sun glares down on me. My throat is dead dry and feels like sandpaper. I check my WatchGuy. Six percent hydration. We need to get water soon.

Rock pants, "You know, I've been thinking deep thoughts recently—”

"Doubt it," retorts Jade.

"Can it, Jade!"

Jade rolls her eyes.

"So anyway, after much philosophical and metaphysical thought—"

"How can you have metaphysical thoughts?" Jade interrupts. “Do you even know what metaphysical means?"

"Oh my gosh, Jade! Just shut up already. What I'm trying to say is, I've decided to name my shovel Rock Shovel. I've thought about Spade of Rock Star or even the Cool Shovel of Cool. But I think that Rock Shovel describes the weapon best. What do you guys think? And by you guys, I mean you, Sparrow."

I shrug, my parched throat burning. “Clever, Rock. That’s even better than Rockhorse."

"OK, I knew you would dig it. Get it? Dig it?"

Jade actually laughs.

I swallow. "Jade, we need to find water somehow. I'm not going to last much longer."

"Can you do a locate spell?" Jade asks.

My WatchGuy says nineteen magic points. "Not enough points. Can you?"

Jade peers at her watch. "Sure! I have all twenty-eight!"

"Do it, please," I gasp.

Jade raises her hands. "Locate: Water!" A blue orb is released from her palm, and it starts to float around aimlessly. It passes through Rock's stomach, and he yelps. It then dives straight into the ground. The blue light fades to a soft glimmer.

I stare at the ground. "So, uhh, it's straight down in the ground?"

Rock fingers the shovel strapped across his back. "How are we going to dig into the ground? It's not like we have any specialized digging instruments!" He then raises his shovel triumphantly. "Oh yeah, Rock Shovel is going to save the day. Again! Never mind guys, we are good."

Jade groans. “Just start digging already, shovel boy.”

Rock starts digging the hole. After a top layer of sand, he reaches loamy soil and clay. Rock gets tired, so I pick up the spade. I whittle away, scoop after scoop. No water so far, and the sun is already setting. I climb out and let Jade take her turn. She is in a hole above her head when I hear, "Water! We did it! Water!"

A few more scoops of loamy soil and we have a muddy puddle of water. After Jade takes a few sips, she gets out. Rock jumps into the hole, slurping noisily from the puddle. I get my fill, and also fill our canteen. We set up camp next to the hole.

It's a crisp evening, and the sun sends beams of reddish light over the bleak strip of desert.

There is a boulder large enough for us to lean back on as we watch the sun fade. We are sitting on our sleeping bags, except for Rock, who is doing more pushups.

"I know that we might be mindless puppets in about a week,” Jade says in a soft voice, “but this is kind of nice." She rests her head on her hands.

A cool breeze tickles my neck. "Yeah, once we get our souls back, maybe we will have to come back here to chill."

Rock says through his set of pushups, "If we get our souls back."

Jade flashes him a dangerous look.

Rock stops doing pushups and sits down. "I mean, when we get them back. But after that, I'm not sure if I'm going to stay in WarriorCore. I'm not even sure if I’ll become a gladiator like Granite."

At the name Granite, Jade sighs and gets that dreamy look in her eyes again. Rock doesn't seem to notice and keeps talking. "I might become a fisherman, or a lumberjack, or a poet. I haven't really told you guys, but I'm kind of amazing at poetry. It's one of my many hidden talents."

Jade snorts. "Rock, I don't think you'd make it in the poetry world."

"What? Jade, check it." He clears his throat. "The sunset on the desert looks like a...." For a moment, Rock stares at the sunset, sizing it up. "It looks like a…." He scratches his head. "It looks like a beautiful sunrise, but at the end of the day! Simile of the week." He leans back, satisfied with his verse.

Jade stifles a laugh.

Sometimes, I worry about Rock. "Yeah, clever. I sometimes think the same thing, though. I mean, not about poetry or anything, but about WarriorCore. Maybe I could be a musician, or a cook or something. But I'm not that great at playing the guitar, so I'm probably better off doing this."

Jade’s eyes light up. "I love this! The battle, the adventure, the danger! I don't think I can do without it. I need it. And the world needs monster hunters! We protect! We save! Right?"

After a moment of silence, I mumble, "Yeah, we do some good. But it's just a dangerous job."

I watch the sunset, wondering about our future. Rock is right. Well, he’s not so right about his poetry, but he could become a lumberjack if he wanted. No risk of soul-stealing in that industry, and he'd probably have fun cutting down all the trees. Come to think of it, cutting down trees sounds like loads of fun. Maybe I should lumberjack with him. Point is, we are all still young—we could do anything—so why risk everything for WarriorCore?

But I can see Jade's point. This danger, this adventure—it's exciting. And the world needs us.

We are all quiet for a moment.

I break the silence. "Hey guys, do you think I'm weird?"

Jade instantly replies, "No! Not at all. You're super normal! Super cool and hip and trendy!"

Rock thinks for a second. "I think you're weird. But it's a cool kind of weird." After a short silence, Rock adds jokingly, "Unlike Jade here, who is weird in a totally lame way."

"Hey!" Jade punches Rock in the shoulder. We all laugh, sound echoing into the dark empty desert.

Rock dives into his sleeping bag, rolls over, and falls asleep. Jade follows suit, disappearing into her thick bag.

I stay awake and stare at the sky, wondering if I'm missing something. There has to be something, right? Something I'm forgetting, some deeper meaning to this adventure that falls through my grasp. I feel like there is something in my hands, but it keeps slipping out, like water dripping through my fingers. Or maybe we are nothing more than a few friends going on a high stakes monster hunt. I don’t really know. I'm just a kid.

All I know for sure is that I hope Count Dragula knows what he's in for, because none of us are going to back down.

I slowly fade to sleep as images of Flamesaber geese and swirling tornadoes of FatFrogs flash through some remote area of my brain.

Sleep

I'm playing FrozenCyclops full blast on my worn out holodisk player. The distorted guitars are riffing heavily in the empty forest. Sparta is sitting on a nearby log, scratching under his wing with his beak.

"Dang it, Sparta!" I throw my knife at a target. The steel rips into the bullseye, thudding on impact.

Sparta chirps and flies to my knife. With clawed feet, he grabs the knife and brings it to me with a flurry of wings.

I grab the knife and send it spinning towards the target. It clangs off the wood. A failed throw.

Sparta chirps happily and again retrieves the knife. FrozenCyclops shreds their insane guitar solo.

I sigh in frustration. Why did Topaz refuse me again! I mean seriously, I bought her chocolates this time….

We worked so well together on that quest! She saw me knife down that Earth Drake, right? That was so cool.

I sit down on a log. Girls—they never make any sense.

Sparta lands on my head, knife in his claws. Chirp! Chirp!

I grab the knife. My fingers slip, and I accidently cut myself across the palm. I stare listlessly at the cut. Blood seeps down my hand. Anger makes me careless.

Sparta eagerly flies to my neck and starts nibbling on my chin. He wants to be scratched.

I brush him aside, and he hisses at me.

"Come on, Sparta, I'm not in the mood."

FrozenCyclops goes back to their steady riff.

I yell, "Enchant: Fire Knife!" A thin layer of fire covers my knife. My blood coats the handle. Flames dance over the forest floor.

I throw the knife. Tongues of flame erupt as the blood stained knife lands home.

I watch the paper burn. Ashes remain, leaving nothing but a flaming steel knife stuck in a charred black tree. Distorted guitar blares in the background. Sparta grabs the flaming knife by the handle and starts flying back to me, chirping blissfully, the flame and blood coated knife dangling in his claws.

Morning—8 days left

The morning is bright and crisp. I get up and rub my eyes.

Rock is fast asleep, and there is zero sign of Jade. I see a small figure attempting to climb a boulder in the distance. It gets a few feet up, then slips and falls into the sand. I hear a resonating laugh echo over the desert. Yup. That must be Jade.

After a small breakfast of dried fruit and beef, I stare into the bright blue sky. Looks like a good day to travel.

I try to shake Rock awake, but he just grumbles. "Rock, get up dude, or I'm going to summon ZombieDuck and have him drool all over your face."

Rock rolls over, his eyes giant. "No! Not ZombieDuck!"

"Then get up dude. We have a quest or whatever."

Rock sits up. "Alright, alright I'm up. Where’s Jade? Not that I really care about her or anything. But we probably shouldn't leave her." He then pauses briefly. "Unless you wanted to leave her. I would be totally down with that." He grins sheepishly.

"I'm getting her."

I start walking towards the figure, which just slipped off the boulder again, tumbling into the sand.

Once I get close enough, I yell, "Jade! What are you doing?"

Jade springs to her feet, wiping the sand off her pants. "Hi Sparrow! Good morning! I was just waiting for you guys to get up, and I found this awesome boulder! It's totally climbable! I'm just struggling at the moment."

"Jade, the boulder is really cool and all,” I say, “but we seriously have to get going. I woke Rock up, let's head out."

Jade fist pumps ecstatically. "OK! Yeah! Quest time!"

We walk back to camp, where Rock is fast asleep. Unbelievable.

I focus my casting on a pile of sand near Rock's head. "Cast: Thunderbolt!"

CRACK! A strip of light slams into the pile. Rock bolts out of his sleeping bag, hair standing up and eyes wild. He runs in his underwear and grabs his shovel. "Where are the monsters? I heard a Thunder Wraith!"

Jade falls over laughing.

"Naw dude, no monsters." I say.

Rock looks confused. "Then what was that big sound?"

I shrug. "I dunno man. Must have been a dream." Jade bursts with laughter.

"Why is Jade laughing?" Rocks asks.

"Oh, you know me! I'm always laughing!" Jade yells from the ground.

Rock mumbles under his breath and starts putting on his pants.

CH 7: WizardsWorld—4 days left

The trail ends in another wall of white light.

"Oooh!” Jade gasps. “Look at the shiny boundary line! We did it guys! Four days in the desert, but we made it! I think we should throw a party. I'll be the DJ and provide a wide array of colorful snacks!”

I somewhat trust Jade's ability to make snacks, but I doubt she would make a great DJ. She doesn't understand the grunge. But I decide against challenging her taste in music.

At the wall, the sand fades and becomes a plush green landscape. There are rolling green hills and glittering blue lakes (and some trees, but I’m not getting into that). WizardsWorld looks pretty nice to me. We only have a few feet of Desertopia left.

Rock sighs with relief, stumbling through the last stretch of sand. "Oh, finally! I'm so tired of all this darn sand. It’s so coarse, and it gets everywhere! And if I have to fight any more freaking Sand Worms, I think I'm going to—"

A Sand Worm—imagine a giant yellow earth worm with teeth—lunges out of the ground and sinks its sharp teeth into Rock's forearm.

Rock screams, "seriously?!" and rips the wiggling worm straight off his arm. Blood flows freely from his wound and he throws the worm on the ground—stunning it. Jade nocks an arrow and I grab my throwing knife, but Rock is already smashing the worm with his shovel.

"I swear! These worms are the most annoying," Rock whacks it with solid steel, "dumbest," the worm starts to wiggle away, but Rock grabs it and throws it down, "most stupidest monster I've ever fought!" Rock smacks it one more time, reverting the worm into a pile of dust and a small piece of worm meal.

"And they only drop worm meal! What am I going to do with worm meal? Get me out of here!"

Rock runs across the boundary line.

I pick up the worm meal. "Sheesh Rock, chill. We made it dude, no more Sand Worms." I follow him across the line. Looks like we made it to WizardWorld.

"Yay! WizardWorld!" Jade skips across the boundary line. “And look! More CleverTown trees! Wonderful!”

Oh no. Not this again.

Looking around, I have no clue why Spade thought this place was so dangerous. There are no monsters in sight, and the weather is quite comfortable.

A light breeze brings a smile to my face. "You know, this place is boss!"

"Yeah! It's awesome!" Jade says.

Rock feels his bleeding arm. "It beats Desertopia. Seriously, screw that place. Anybody got bandages? I'm bleeding out health points."

From my pack, I grab some bandages and wrap Rock’s arm, stopping most of the bleeding.

After an hour on the trail, we approach a compact stone building. Jade is the first to notice it. She nudges me. "Hey guys! Is that a house?"

It certainly looks the part. The cobblestone is neatly chipped, and there is even a chimney.

Rock mumbles, "Looks like a house to me. Jade, want to knock on the door and see if they could give us some food?"

"Why me?"

"You're totally the people person of the group,” Rock says. “Isn't that right Sparrow?"

"I can see that," I answer.

"Fine, whatever.” Jade says. “I'll see if they have food."

Jade knocks on the door. A refined voice answers. "Who dost knock so?” A man in emerald green robes opens the door. "Oh, if it isn't but a group of lowly peasants!” He looks at us with controlled disdain. “Quite something, indeed."

"Hello!” Jade says. “I was just wondering—"

"Quiet, peasant! I will answer your questions in due time. Martha! Martha, come hither!"

A woman answers, "Andrew, I simply do not have the time to come for every—"

"But Martha. ’Tis peasants at our doorstep! I haven't seen the like in ages!"

"I simply haven't the time! I am currently busy with pressing business!"

Andrew rolls his eyes. "You shan’t mind her, my fair peasants. She is merely not in the best of moods, as yesterday was her birthday, and it slipped my mind until mid-afternoon. Advice to you, my young travelers. When you have a lady in your life, try to remember her day of birth. Otherwise, she becomes rather irritable, indeed. Quite so. But, I digress, what is your desire, young she-peasant?"

Jade starts again, in her sweetest voice possible. "Well, we are just simple adventurers looking to buy food."

A massive smile breaks across Andrew’s face. "Martha! Oh, Martha! ’Tis unbelievable! The peasants are begging for food! You must come now, ’tis quite funny!"

Rock is slowly getting red.

"Andrew! I said before, and I will say it again! I shan’t come! I haven't the time! If the peasants are begging for food, do so give them food! Surely, you remember that Andrew! We remember things! It's all about the memory of certain dates and details—"

"Naturally, my dear Martha. But ’tis not every day we see peasants of such lowly status at our doorstep! I merely wish to entertain you Martha, if you would please come!"

Rock finally explodes. He pulls out Rock Shovel and screams, "I'm not a peasant you stuck-up creepbag!"

I instantly try to restrain Rock, grabbing Rock Shovel and furiously whispering, "Stop!" But Rock throws me off easily, and I'm sent sprawling to the floor.

Jade sees the commotion and slams the door just in time. Rock furiously swipes, his shovel bouncing off the solid oak door.

"Why did you close the door!" Rock yells.

Jade raises her hands. “Rock, you idiot! We were about to get food!"

"What? I don't care, he deserved a shovel to the forehead, that uptight scumbag, wizard jerk! If I ever see him again, I swear I'm going to— "

"He wasn't even that bad! Seriously Rock, you need to control yourself!"

I see Andrew staring at us through the window, his eyes glowing in excitement. I can almost hear him say Look Martha! The peasants are now squabbling!

I jump in between Rock and Jade. "Stop guys. Yes, Rock, I totally understand why you wanted to club that guy in the face. To be honest, I was fingering my throwing knives."

"Yeah!" Rock angrily grunts.

"But, yeah. We were about to get some food. We don't want to fight with any random sorcerers. They may be powerful."

Rock looks down and Jade mutters, "Let's just leave. We have enough worm meal to last the night."

On that note we head down the path, leaving the cobblestone house behind.

We hit the trail until twilight, then set up camp. Gathering sticks, we make a small pile of firewood. I ignite the pile with a quick spell.

Rock jams some worm meal on a stick. "Worm meal again," he groans as he roasts the slimy meat.

I eat my worm meal in silence. It’s very sticky and tastes a bit like sand. Nobody really feels up to conversation. I unpack my sleeping bag and roll away to a soft sleep.

I wake up to the sound of birdsong. The sun is just peaking over the pleasant landscape. Jade is up and writing in her journal. Jade's Journal is written on the cover in cursive letters.

To my surprise, Rock is gone.

I walk to Jade. "Hey, where’s Rock?”

She slams her journal closed. "Don't sneak up on me!"

"I wasn't sneaking up on you!"

She slips her journal into her backpack. "Rock went out to look for food."

I roll up my sleeping bag, and Rock comes limping out of the woods. He's carrying a dead squirrel.

"Ugh, that was definitely not worth it,” he groans. “I had to fight off three Lizard Monkeys, and all I got was this stupid squirrel!" Rock drops his shovel and looks at his shoulder, which is covered with scratch marks.

"Lizard Monkeys?” Jade asks. “I don't think I've seen any of those before!"

"Well, be glad. They’re ugly little things with nasty claws."

He throws the squirrel on the ground.

I start another fire, and we roast the dead squirrel, splitting it in three parts. Squirrel for breakfast. Don't try this at home, kids.

We pack up and hit the road. Today, we seriously need to find food, because we're completely out.

Near mid-day, we find another cobblestone house.

Rock points. "Check it out! Maybe they have food!"

Jade flashes him a dangerous look. "Yeah, maybe you should try not to attack them, alright?"

Rock gets flushed and grumbles, "That guy had it coming...."

I knock on the door. I hope this person is more normal than Andrew. Andrew was pretty weird.

The door opens and a man in full black robes emerges, waving a wand.

“ ‘Ello there. Good day."

"Hi, thanks for answering,” I say. “We’re just wondering if we could buy some food."

The magician smiles slyly. "Oh, you were looking to buy some food, was ye."

"Yeah, that's right!"

The magician pulls a loaf of bread from nowhere and hands it too me.

"Oh, cool. How much you want for this?"

The magician yells, "Trick: Bread Morph!" The bread turns into a pile of sticks. I throw the sticks on the ground.

Rock's eyes flash. "What the heck! Why did you do that?"

The man bursts into wild laughter. "I was playing a joke on ye. ’Tisn't it funny, eh?"

Jade shakes her head. "We are hungry. It's not really funny at the moment."

The man is still laughing. Between thick breaths, he gasps, "But ’tis funny to me! Oh, what shall I do next? Shall I give thee a roasted turkey, and morph it into a pile of sand? Or perhaps I shall give thee a piece of chocolate, only then will ye discover that it's actually not chocolate at all, but rather a fresh load of—"

I slam the door in his face. "Let's get out of here, these guys are the worst."

We head down the road, my stomach growling with hunger.

The hunger is growing unbearable by the time we find another house. I walk towards the door. "OK, another house. Should we even try this one?"

Rock holds his stomach in pain. "Ugh, I don't want to. But we need food."

Jade confidently smiles. "Yeah! I'll ask this time."

She knocks on the door, and a pale wizard with a sneer on his face answers. The man mutters, "What are thoust doing on mine doorstep?"

Jade asks, "Well, I was simply wondering if you could sell us some food?"

The pale man smirks. "Perhaps I shall. If thou dost defeat me in a magic duel!" He raises his gloved hands and wiggles his fingers menacingly.

Jade backs down, and I step up. Naturally, I'm the magic guy. "Oh, you want to duel me?"

I glance at my WatchGuy, and I'm starting with sixty-four magic points.

"Oh, indeed young man. I do so wisheth to duel. ’Tis a magic duel, no weapons!" The wizard removes his glove and smacks me across the face, leather stinging bitterly.

I recoil. "What was that?"

The pale wizard laughs maniacally. "Oh, that is how I signal my duel!"

Rock whispers to me. "Wipe the floor with this guy."

I crack my neck. Oh, I will.

The wizard starts. "Cast: Shadow Clone!"

He separates into six different figures. They all laugh and point their wands at me.

They yell, "Cast: Flamethrower!" Flames billow towards me. I roll backwards and yell, "Cast: Ice Falls!"

A waterfall of ice pours over the fire, melting it into a pool of smoke.

The clones sneer. "Polymorph: Sheep!" Six spheres of purple light fly towards me. I dodge one ball, but another slams me in the stomach. I can feel myself slowly morphing, then BAM! I have hooves.

Well, this sucks.

I’m surrounded by clones laughing at me. "Ha! You will be a sheep for the next fifty seconds! I will now roast you alive!"

I try to yell back, but all I say is, "Baa!"

The figures scream, "Cast: Flamethrower!" Flame starts to creep towards me. I run away as fast as I can on sheep legs. Turns out—sheep are pretty slow.

The flame catches me, and my wool ignites. Panicking, I drop and roll, snuffing the fire. Wool is actually pretty fireproof.

The pale wizards sneer and scream, "Call: Butcher-knife!" A giant steel knife floats in midair. They wave wands. "Slice: Butcher-knife!"

The butcher knife starts slowly flying towards me. Like really slowly. I mean, it's barely moving.

Six voices echo. "Oh shucks! I forgot how slow the knife was! Never the matter, it'll work eventually!"

Bzzzzp. I'm human again. "Call: Guardian Duck!"

Fragments of metal rip from the ground to form a four-foot-tall burly duck that's sporting a black kite shield. The duck’s feathers are stone gray under a thin layer of chain mail.

"Block: Guardian Duck!" The duck raises his shield to block the butcher knife, metal clanging on metal.

I yell, "Enchant Electric: Shield!" The duck's shield starts glowing bright yellow.

Six figurines wave their wands dramatically. "Polymorph: Sheep!" Spheres of magic fly towards the duck.

"Reflect: Guardian Duck!" The spells bounce off the shield, striking each clone. Baa. We’ve got six sheep now.

Thirteen magic points left. I need a cheap magic spell to reveal the clones.

"Cast: Fire spread!" Six mini fireballs hit each sheep, five dissolve into mist, and the other starts burning wool. The sheep rolls, putting out the fire.

"Attack: Guardian duck!" The burly duck releases a battle quack and winds up a shield bash. The shield strikes the rolling sheep in the torso, sending electric coursing through the thick wool.

The sheep morphs back into a pale wizard figure. "Stop! Stop. ’Tis enough. You win."

Jade breaks into fluid cartwheels of joy, and Rock bangs Rock Shovel against the ground in applause.

I nod. The duck drops his shield and starts an awkward celebration dance. What the heck? I never told him to do that. The Guardian Duck gracelessly pivots on webbed feet.

"Dude!” Rock points in horror. “Stop that duck pronto! Those moves suck." The wizard smiles weakly at the flailing bird. The duck trips over the shield, bill diving into the grass. I have to end this. "Release: Guardian Duck." The duck disappears in a puff of smoke and drops the shield. The shield smacks the ground and dissolves into a pile of ashes.

The sorcerer stands up, dusting off his pants. To my surprise, he smiles. "Ahh, Duck sorcery. ’Tis been ages since I've seen such a refined technique."

I jerk my head, shocked. "Wait, you've seen duck sorcery before? I thought I was the only one!"

"Only one? Not at all!” The wizard shakes his head, still faintly smiling. “Have ye never heard of the one called Chuckles?"

"Wait. The Chuckles? The comic book Chuckles? I thought he wasn't real!"

The wizard laughs. "Of course Chuckles is real. I've met him on several occasions, and I would have to say, the man is rather chill."

"And wait. He's a duck caller too?"

"Yes. Chuckles’ ability to summon ducks was unmatched. Three, four ducks he would call into battle, simultaneously!"

"Do you know where he is?"

The wizard sighs. "He disappeared a few years back. He said that fighting was really harshing his mellow, or something of the sort."

Harshing his mellow? Perhaps Chuckles really was as chill as the legends say.

The wizard enters his home. "Regardless, you travelers have earned thy food. Do not worry about the matter of money, I shall coverest thee. As the kids say—I got yo back, homie G-unit. Perhaps we may also hit the mosh pit, shaka brah."

Jade whispers to me. "Wait, do we actually say that?"

"No, we definitely don't say that."

The wizard comes back out with a huge pile of food. Rolls of bread, canned meat, fruits and vegetables, and even a few bars of chocolate.

He hands them to us. "Good luck on thy journeys. And what were thy names?"

"I'm Sparrow." I gesture. "And this is Rock and Jade."

The sorcerer nods. "I am known as Griffin. I can sense that Count Dragula awaits thee, so tarry no longer!"

With that, Griffin closes the door, and we continue on our journey.

Chuckles the Chill. I wonder what he could teach me….

Rock glances at his WatchGuy. We are apparently close to Count Dragula—only a couple more hours. His lair is probably in a hidden cave. Chewing a piece of bread, my mouth feels dry. I wish we had some Dethbrews or something. Fear stirs in my gut instead of adrenaline.

Jade is nervously checking her WatchGuy every six seconds, and Rock is slouching worse than normal. I'd say we are all pretty anxious. It's our souls on the line, after all.

We arrive at a cave entrance. Rock asks, "Is this it?"

Jade points to a sign. Blocky red letters spell, "COUNT DRAGULA'S LAIR. MORTAL FOOLS BEWARE!" Smaller red letters below read, “Seriously. I don't like visitors. I'm actually quite antisocial." I see even smaller print at the bottom on the sign. "Why are you still reading this? Just leave already! Fool!"

Rock leans in to read the sign. "What a jerk."

We throw our backpacks down next to the opening. Hopefully, if we win this thing, we can grab them and teleport back to WarriorCore.

Jade swiftly strings her bow. "We are about to show him! Right Sparrow?”

I'm staring into the dark cave. All I can see is darkness. This is our chance. Our chance to get our souls back.

"Right Sparrow?"

I snap back to reality. "Uh, yeah Jade. We got it. Let's get our souls back."

Rock gives his shovel a test swing. "I'm going to wreck this guy."

Jade smiles. “Let’s rush in now and fight!" Jade starts running toward the entrance.

"Wait!” I cry. “We have to go over the plan."

Jade stops. She tilts her head to the side. "OK! What do we do then?"

"This is it. Rock, you save your berserker cry. We fight his dragon form using only our weapons, and then release our magic once he flips into human form. Last time we blew everything before he even changed. We need to save."

Jade raises an eyebrow. "Can we defeat his dragon form with just our weapons?"

"Yes. We need Rock to draw the blows, though, else we're screwed. Rock, even get blood drained if you have to. It all comes down to you. Alright?"

"I can take hits, Sparrow. That's what the Rock Star does best."

I exhale a warm gust of air. My head aches. "Great. Everybody ready?"

Jade nods violently, twirling her bow around her back with swift ninja speed.

Rock spits on the ground. "The Rock Star was born ready."

I pause for a second. "Hey, if this is it...." My throat is dry. "I just wanted to let you guys know…." The words aren't coming.

Rock places his hand on my shoulder. "Yeah dude. I get it. You were going to talk about my mad swagger and babe slaying ability—"

“Rock!” Jade yells.

"Come on Jade, I was kidding. I think I know what you mean Sparrow. We are a team. Down to the very end."

Jade hugs Rock, taking him off guard. "That's why you take the hits for us, right?"

Rock smiles coolly. "Yeah, I guess that's it."

Jade lets go, but Rock is still blushing. I check my WatchGuy. Sixty-four magic points. Better make them count.

We head into the cave and soon there is nothing, just pitch darkness. I feel a bit lost. Finally, we enter a vast clearing lit with torches. I see a robed humanoid on a crimson throne. Count Dragula.

He stands up and sneers at us. "If it isn't the kids. Come for your souls?" The voice is cold and nasal.

Rock screams back. "Yeah! I did come for my soul!"

Dragula smiles, showing pointed teeth. "But what is the morality of this game? The deeper meaning behind this pathetic journey? Did I not enable your team to come together and grow on an adventure? Am I the real hero here?"

Rock stands still—utterly dumbstruck. "N-no. You're not the hero. Are you? Is he, Sparrow?"

The last thing I want is for Rock to battle wits with Dragula. "Of course not! He’s an evil vampire demon thing or whatever. Just attack him already!"

"Right!" Rock charges at Count Dragula, shovel raised in fury. Count Dragula roars and turns into a dragon. Rock is knocked back by the transformation shockwave.

Dragula starts to fly, and Jade nocks an arrow. Dragula takes two flaps, and Jade sends a silver arrowhead ripping through his dark wings. Dragula roars and hits the ground in a thundering crunch.

I throw a knife at the grounded dragon—it sticks into the upper tail. Dragula charges at Rock, dragon fangs flashing.

Rock steps back and raises his shovel in defense. The dragon crashes into Rock, sending him flying to his back. Stunned, Rock drops his shovel. He groans and tries to crawl away, but Dragula pounces.

I grab my staff and close in on the dragon. With a quick strike, I smash Dragula in the back of the skull. The dragon knocks me backward with a vicious headbutt. I'm stunned as I smack on the cave ground. For a brief moment everything turns blurry.

My vision returns, and I look up to see Dragula pierce Rock's neck with giant fangs. Rock grows pale as he quickly loses blood. Ehh, crap. This is bad.

I have to burn some magic points. I yell, "Call…." Wait. Which duck am I calling again?

Before I can even think, Jade is running up the back of Dragula holding an arrow in her hand. "GET OFF HIM YOU STUPID OVERSIZED LIZARD!" She reaches the head and stabs the dragon in the base of the skull. Dragula rips his head skyward and roars, the thunderous noise deafening my ears.

In a puff of smoke, the dragon transforms into the pale figure of Count Dragula. He flashes a pointed smile. "Not bad. For a few kids."

The Count screams, "Call: BloodReaver!"

A giant crimson sword shimmers to life in his hands. He releases an evil laugh, holding his ghastly sword with ease.

Jade helps Rock off the ground. I grab Rock Shovel and hand it to him. He mutters, "I'm fine, I'm fine." But he looks sick and he's wobbly on his feet.

Better bring out the ducks.

"Call: DuckReaper!" Shadows collide to form a duck figure. DuckReaper levitates a few feet off the ground with his duck power of darkness. He's dressed in black hooded robes, his scythe floats in front of him. A deep purple bill protrudes from his thick hood.

Jade yells, "Enchant arrow: Explosive!"

Rock screams his berserker cry. I feel a surge of strength.

Count Dragula scowls. In a puff of smoke, Dragula appears behind Jade. Rock turns around and raises his shovel, but Dragula swings his sword at Rock in a lightning fast arc. Rock Shovel is sent flying, clattering on the cave floor. Rock stands there—helpless—and the Count deftly smashes him in the face with the hilt of BloodReaver. Rock falls back unconscious while Jade fires her explosive arrow.

Dragula disappears just in time. The arrow explodes against the cave wall, creating a black pile of dust.

Jade yells wildly and nocks another arrow. She looks at me with wide eyes. Wait, why is she looking at me like that? Oh no.

He's behind me.

I roll forward, just out the range of Dragula. I can feel BloodReaver tear through the back of my leather armor. "Haunt: DuckReaper!"

DuckReaper swings his scythe and sends a vibrant purple dart at the Count. The pale figure teleports out of the way—the dart stops mid-flight, searching for its target. Dragula re-appears in a quick pop. The magical dart soars into his head in a purple streak.

The Count howls in fury, dropping his sword. Seizing the moment, I throw a knife and Jade shoots an arrow.

They both strike the Count in the chest.

Dragula utters a feral scream while Jade nocks another arrow. She fires, the arrow buzzing straight at the evil vampire.

In a deft hand motion, the Count snatches the shaft.

He laughs slowly, sneer twisted on his face. "Not bad. Not bad at all, for an awkward group of mortal teens. But the fun is over." He snaps the arrow in two.

Dragula yells, "MindControl: DuckReaper!"

A strange yellow light emanates from the Count's hands, flying directly into the brain of my DuckReaper.

I scream, "Slash: DuckReaper!"

DuckReaper stares at me with black duck eyes. He's not listening.

"Release: DuckReaper!"

The dark duck just stares at me. He emits a harsh quacking sound. And then keeps floating there like nothing happened.

Jade yells, "Enchant Arrow: Sleep!" She readies her shot, but Dragula appears behind her. With a deft moment, the count grabs the enchanted arrow. He stabs her in the shoulder, and she is instantly asleep.

Rock is downed, Jade snoozing. My duck is mind controlled. This fight is over.

I drop my hands. "Alright, Alright. You won Dragula. It's over. I consent to becoming your slave and living a meaningless and pretty lame life. Honestly, I don't really care."

The count lowers his cherry red sword. "About time. I was tired of this foolish fight." He walks toward me with an arrogant stride. "You stupid kids and your futile efforts."

This is my last chance.

"Trick: Flash Bomb!"

Bright light fills the room. I hear Dragula scream, "AGH!"

But I'm already dashing towards the exit and yelling, "Trick: Swift Feet!" I gain a massive burst of speed and sprint out of the cave. I'm fast, way too fast. The wind is buffeting my face; trees are flying by. I keep running, fleeing for my life. My breath is heavy, but I can't stop.

Leaves stream by. Rocks scream by. I jump over logs, hurdle fallen trees, slip on patches of mud. I stumble, but I keep running. I can't stop. I need to get away, far away from here. I can't risk stopping.

Finally, I glance back. I'm in a grassy plain—and nothing. No Dragula. I made it out. I'm gasping huge breaths. But at least I'm alive.

But Jade! And Rock! I need to go back and save them. Dragula won’t kill them, will he? He wants more slaves.

I have to go back and fight Dragula alone. But, there is no way I can actually duel Count Dragula and win. He's too strong.

I fall to my knees. Oh gosh. What do I do? Where do I go? My head tilts upward in some sort of plea.

The sky is a clear blue. A lone sparrow flits through the air aimlessly. Poor little guy. He looks lost.

CH 8: Lost—3 days left

I'm knocking on Griffin’s door. The wizard answers, "Ahh, if it isn't the brilliant young duck caller. What is required?"

"I need to find Chuckles. Where is he?"

Griffin shakes his head. "I knowest not. I'd say he is still in WizardWorld, but where? I haven't the slightest clue, I'm afraid."

I groan, frustrated. "But this is urgent! I need him to save my friends."

"Well, just wait one moment." The man disappears into his house. He reappears with a cast iron mug. "This was given to me by Chuckles the Chill. Here, I'm not sure how, but it may help you."

I thank Griffin and take the mug.

I wander aimlessly, swinging the mug like a town drunk. How am I going to find him? All I have is an old, iron mug.

I find a nice patch of grass and lie back to stare at the brilliant evening sunset. The colors twist together into a mystical orange hue. It looks nice.

Will I be able to watch the sunset as Dragula’s slave? Probably not. I’ll just be a mindless zombie forever. I’ve got to figure something out! That means finding Chuckles. He’s out there, somewhere. I know it! Rock…. Jade…. How can I figure this out?

It's starting to get chilly. I better make a fire, or I'll freeze. I throw together some sticks and blow them up with a haphazard fireball. There we go—fire.

I don't have any food anymore. I just remembered we left our backpacks right next to Dragula's den. Wow, I could have just asked Griffin for more food. But I didn't. I forgot. Could I go back to his house? Or maybe I should hunt a monster or gather some herbs. There might be some FruitShrooms around here somewhere….

Whatever. I don't care. It doesn't matter. Nothing matters anymore. I'll just lie here. On the grass. In the cold. Alone.

Camping hadn't sucked so much with Rock and Jade.

I feel a fluttering, empty sensation. My friends are gone! My forehead smacks against the dirt. This sucks. Only three days left. I smack my forehead against the ground again. Well, that accomplished nothing.

I have to save them. I have to! I take a whiff of fresh dirt. Smells like dirt.

But what can I do? I'm just a stupid duck caller. I can't shoot a bow like Jade, or swing an axe like Rock. I'm just a scrawny, weird kid who can’t even summon a freaking Shadow Ram.

Stupid Shadow Goat. It’s all your fault. You ruined everything. I’m not even sure if you are a good distraction. Shadow Goats might actually suck at everything, like people are always telling me.

Sometimes, I just wish I was normal, and not some weirdo duck wizard.

It's getting dark, and I feel tired. I need to make serious progress towards finding the Chill One, but suddenly a massive wave of fatigue overwhelms me. I lay on the grass, staring at the lonely fire. I have to rescue my friends. Have to get them back. I roll over, exhausted. Have to find Chuckles…somehow….

CH 9: Chuckles the Chill—2 days left

I wake up to the sound of birdsong. Other than that, silence. I roll over, sore from sleeping on the rough terrain. I slowly get up and rest my back against a tree. My stomach growls in hunger.

Not knowing what to do, I stare at the sky. A falcon soars through the air. For a moment, I want to be that bird. Mr. Falcon looks so happy up there, like he doesn't really have any problems or anything. No day job, no pressing monster battles—nothing. Just a free bird in the vast blue sky with an amazing view to boot. That's all I need. A birdseye view. But I'm grounded. I can't see anything.

But wait? Isn't that what I do? I summon birds. What kind of duck can track people?

I don’t have BattleDucks anymore, but I’ve entered some of the data onto my WatchGuy. I scroll through the screen. FalconDuck? No. JokerDuck? Definitely not. PoisonDart Duck? Sounds cool, but no. SpiritSword Duck? Sweet. But still no.

There it is. A TrackerDuck.

"Call: TrackerDuck!"

Bursts of wind form a small tornado. A duck emerges wearing a leather jacket and sunglasses. His tail flashes golden piercings, head feathers condensing to form a thick Mohawk. He spits on the ground and smoothly mutters “Quack” out of the side of his bill.

Success. This duck is a total boss.

I put the mug on the ground. "Track: Mug!"

The duck peers at the mug through thick shades. TrackerDuck takes a hearty whiff of the cast iron and then slowly quacks. He swiftly waddles towards a far off mountain range. I grab the mug and head after him.

The duck is moving pretty fast, so I have to jog to keep up. TrackerDuck is also quacking constantly like he's onto something.

We eventually hit a path that winds straight up a mountain. It's steep, but TrackerDuck keeps moving his duck feet.

I start breathing heavily, but I'm keen to stay up. I'm not letting that radical duck Mohawk out of my sight.

After what seems like an eternity of walking, TrackerDuck stops. I catch up, but it looks like we are just at a normal rock wall. He quacks violently, but nothing happens. The duck stops and glares at me through sunglasses.

"Why did you stop?"

TrackerDuck gives me a skeptical look. "Quack." He tilts his bill toward the rock wall as if trying to tip me off.

I sigh and walk up to the wall. It's nothing special, just your average, everyday rock wall.

"See?” I look at TrackerDuck. “There's nothing here. It's just a wall. Stop messing with me."

The duck quacks furiously and takes off in flight.

"TrackerDuck! Where are you going!" He disappears above the wall.

Oh. I have to climb.

I could try to fly with magic, but the last time I tried, I shot myself the wrong way and ended up in a river full of Beaver Bears. If you've never seen one, they are kind of like a half-bear, half-beaver mix. They are pretty cute when they aren't trying to eat your face.

Regardless, I’m not risking the whole flight thing.

I've never really climbed rocks. I remember watching Jade climbing that boulder. She kept falling off.

I look for handholds, and there are some decent sized ones. I grip tightly, surging upward. My boots are too big to work at all, so I retreat to the ground to take them off. I tie the boots around my belt so I don’t lose them and stuff.

Now with bare feet, I slowly scale the wall. There are plenty of hand and foot holds, so the climb is comfortable enough. I grab a rock. It breaks off, sending shards of stone plummeting towards the ground. Flinching, my hand waves in open air. Heart racing, I glance downward. I'm way high up. I clench another rock, my hand shaking a bit. Better not fall.

But I'm close to the top now. With a few more moves, I scramble over the ledge. TrackerDuck is standing at the entrance of the cave. He greets me with a "Quack!" and then dissolves in a puff of smoke.

I throw my boots back on and walk toward the cave. Is this really it? Is this the lair of Chuckles the Chill?

I find a simple oak door blocking the cave. Trembling hands knock softly. Please be Chuckles. I hear footsteps. Please be Chuckles.

Please, please be Chuckles!

An enormously tall, skinny blue troll answers the door. The troll peers down on me and wipes a thread of mossy green hair out of his eyes. "Sup dude. The name is Charley, but most people just call me Chuckles."

"Ch-Chuckles?” I stare at him in complete awe. “My name is Sparrow. I'm sorry, I just didn’t think you’d be a troll!"

Chuckles laughs, yellow teeth flashing. "Yeah? What you got against trolls?"

"N-nothing. I'm j-just surprised, that's all."

"Yeah, cool stuff.” Chuckles looks at me with lazy black eyes. “Come in dude, let me get you something to drink."

I head into his house. There is a bean bag chair next to a giant wide screen TV.

I point, mouth gaping. "Dude, you have a TV? No way! Aren't those super rare and expensive?"

"Yeah man, I just made it from scrap I found in various dumpsters. I also got a VideoTron 5007 with the newest games if you're into that kind of stuff.” He gestures at a clean square console with two wireless controllers.

Wow, this guy is the best!

Chuckles continues, "I have tons of tea and coffee. If you want to be boring, then yeah, I got water. Whatever you want, man. Even got a brand new shipment of Dethbrews in the fridge."

"Dude, you have Dethbrews?" My stomach rumbles. I suddenly remember how little I've eaten. "Actually, do you have any food?"

"Yeah dude.” Chuckles chuckles. “I got some leftover pizza from the other night." Chuckles heads to his fridge and pulls out a couple Dethbrews and a giant slice of troll pizza. It's like normal pizza, but the cheese is blue. I have no idea why it's blue—it just is. It might be magic or something.

He hands me the slice and a Dethbrew. "Now, what brings you to my humble abode?" Chuckles takes a swig of Dethbrew.

I tear into the pizza. It tastes amazing. “I've heard you're the best duck caller to ever live."

"Hmm….” Chuckles stares at me. “Well this just got interesting. Duck calling. I've dabbled. So what?"

"I'm a duck caller myself. If you could please help me, I'm trying to save my friends from the hands of Count Dragula—"

Chuckles sputters mid-drink. "Count Dragula? Ahh dude, you shouldn't mess with him. He steals your soul. It's a raw deal."

"Yeah, he's already got mine!" I take another massive bite of pizza and wash it down with a swig of Dethbrew.

Chuckles raps his knuckles against the counter. "Well, there's only one way to beat him."

I start to tremble. “Really? It’s possible? Tell me! How do I beat Dragula?"

Chuckles leans back in his chair and sighs. "It doesn't matter. Life is meaningless, you're better off just becoming a mindless puppet. There is no inherent meaning in life. It's all kind of...pointless."

Wow, that's depressing. "Really? There's no inherent meaning in life? That kind of sucks." I stare at the floor. I can't believe I came all the way here just to figure out that there is no meaning in life. If Chuckles said it, it must be true. I finish my slice of troll pizza, the wonderful flavor sizzling on my tongue.

Well, life may suck, but at least I got pizza. Actually, I'd say troll pizza is vastly superior to normal pizza. I wonder what's in that blue cheese….

Chuckles laughs and drains the rest of his Dethbrew.

"Nah kid, I was just messing. Life is actually pretty sweet." Chuckles burps loudly and continues. "You need to pull off a duck fusion. Just summon a GhostDuck and a DinoDuck, and fuse them to create a DinoGhost Duck. The Final Charge of a DinoGhost Duck won’t outright kill Dragula—but it will drain most of his magic points and severely weaken him. That's the trick. Everybody thinks that vampires are weak to garlic and wood, but dude! People don’t know anything. The only thing that can really weaken Dragula is a DinoGhost Duck! You summoned any of those yet?"

A DinoGhost Duck? “Oh gosh, I can't do that. I've never even summoned two ducks at once. I mean I could summon two, but I've never really thought much about it, so you know...."

Chuckles stands up, towering head and shoulders over me. "But that's why I'm here, little dude. Give me a couple days, and you’ll be more than able."

Chuckles commands, "First training method, make me some coffee! My energy vibes are kinda low, little dude." He sinks down on his bean bag chair and flips on the TV to a soap opera.

"What? Coffee! Chuckles I'm on a time crunch, I can't—"

"Dude. If you want training, you need to make coffee. That's the dealio."

I grumble, heading over to the coffeemaker. I throw in some grounds, check all the dials and buttons. When I add water, gears start to wind and whirl. Placing a mug at the spigot, I wait for the brew to pour out. The mug is painted dark purple and has and smiling duck painted on the bottom.

Chuckles yells at the TV. "Don't go for him Libby! Johnny isn’t right for you! Spencer is obviously the one!"

I grumble and bring Chuckles his coffee. Chuckles takes a sip and sprays out the black liquid onto the cave ground. He sticks out his deep blue tongue. "Like dude! That's the worst coffee I've tasted in my life. Did you, like, forget the sugar or something?"

"But, you never asked—"

Chuckles walks over to the sink and pours out the coffee. I stutter, "B-but, you could've just added—"

Chuckles hands me the mug. "Make me another. Little dude, it's time you learned to brew a cup of joe. This time, add sugar."

Fuming, I work the coffee machine. I collect black smoking liquid into the mug and find a bag of sugar on the counter.

"How much sugar do you want?"

"I dunno.” Chuckles shrugs. “Enough to taste good, but don't add too much. Get the vibes flowing, but don't flow them too hard. You dig?"

I groan. This sucks.

I pour a heaping spoonful of sugar into the coffee. I mix it well, and then hand the mug to Chuckles.

Chuckles takes one sip and spews the coffee everywhere. "Ugh, dude, this is way too sweet. It’s harshing my mellow and cramping my vibes, little dude. Make me another. Just chill out a bit with the sugar."

I can't believe it! How is this helping me? Chuckles is so picky about his stupid coffee. And what’s up with all this stupid vibes talk?

I grab the mug, pour out the coffee, and make another cup. This time, I carefully add a small amount of sugar.

Frustrated, I give Chuckles the carefully brewed cup. He takes a sip and sighs heavily. "Alright. Not bad, kid. Not bad."

I let out a slow breath of relief. "So, you'll teach me now?"

"Sure.” Chuckles burps. “Summon your fiercest duck."

I feel like I've been waiting for this moment all my life.

"Call: Guardian Duck!"

Clumps of metal form a bulky duck figure. "Quack" the Guardian Duck bellows, chainmail rippling off his gray feathers. He grips a massive kite shield in his wings.

"Hmm…." says Chuckles. He gets out of his bean bag chair and takes a deep sip of coffee. The Chill One places his mug on the table and sizes up my Guardian Duck.

Chuckles makes a hand motion. "Call: Kung Fu duck"

A hurricane shakes the cave. The mug of coffee starts to spill, but Chuckles grabs the ceramic and takes a swig. Out of the hurricane emerges a duck in a samurai robe. The duck yells a karate, "Quuuuuuaaaaack!" and holds its wings in fighting posture.

"Alright kid. Gimme your best shot."

"Shield Bash: Guardian Duck!" My duck sprints forward and swings his shield at the Kung Fu Duck.

Chuckles looks unimpressed. "Counter: Kung Fu Duck!" The duck dodges the attack and delivers a sharp kick to the head of my Guardian Duck.

Guardian Duck staggers backwards, stunned. "Block: Guardian Duck!" My duck raises his shield.

"Weapon Steal: Kung Fu Duck!" The sneaky duck releases a high pitched quack and makes a violent lunge. Guardian Duck flinches and Kung Fu Duck steals his shield.

Chuckles yells, "Attack: Kung Fu Duck!" The Kung Fu Duck charges, waving the shield wildly. The Guardian Duck takes the blow to the head and dissolves into smoke.

Chuckles shakes his head. "Never shield block against a master of martial arts. They’re just going to steal your shield."

How was I supposed to know that?

"Alright.” Chuckles says. “Next duck. Let's go."

I check my WatchGuy. Three magic points. "Uhh, I don't have enough points to summon any more ducks."

Chuckles lays back down on his bean bag chair.

"Alright then." He drains the rest of his coffee. "Want to make me another cup?"

We train for the rest of the day. Chuckles shows me how to summon a wide new variety of ducks, some that I’ve never even read about in BattleDucks. There's RazorBill, Wizard, Screamo, and even a DragonDuck. He also shows me some new spells, everything from basic wind attacks to distraction and mind control spells. When we're all out of magic points, we sit down on the bean bag and watch soap operas, except instead of people, the stars are talking turtles.

Chuckles yawns, his giant troll mouth gaping. "You see, Libby is going after Johnny, who seems like a pretty good guy, but deep down he's a liar. He earns a living by making illegal deals with sea turtles. That's pretty messed up. It's Spencer who really cares for her. Spencer is a bad boy on the outside—he's a fast turtle speed racer with an attitude. But deep down, he's got a sensitive side. He's a widower and a single dad, doing his best to care for his little turtle daughter. He's definitely a better match for her. You dig?"

I shrug and watch the figures on the screen. "Yeah, I guess I dig." I feel weird saying 'dig,' but Chuckles’ lingo is a bit contagious. "I think Spencer's leather shell is pretty cool."

Chuckles nods. "Yeah, I'm team Spencer all the way." We watch the rest of the episode in which Libby tragically pursues Johnny. Come on Libby, isn't it obvious that Johnny is a total slimeball? Spencer is obviously the one.

After the episode, Chuckles yawns again, showing off coffee-stained teeth. "I'm going to hit the sack. You can go lights out on that couch over there." He gestures to a nearby sofa.

I lay down on the couch. I have to get Jade and Rock tomorrow. It’s the last day.

The very last day.

As soon as my head hits the pillow, I'm asleep.

CH 10: Round Three: FIGHT!—The LAST day

The next day starts the same.

We duel ducks again.

I'll summon ElectroDuck. "Call: ElectroDuck!"

Shards of electricity form a duck with bright blue eyes.

Chuckles gestures wildly, coffee cup in hand. "Call: SkeleDuck! Call: Heavy Metal Duck! Call: Banshee Duck!"

A giant swirling whirlpool of darkness forms three distinct duck figures. One is a skeletal frame of a duck. Next to the skeleton duck is a pitch black duck with a skull painted on his chest. The duck has a massive dark fluff of feathers on his head. It headbangs and screams, "Quack!"

The Banshee Duck is a hooded bird figure. Dark feathers billow out of the cloak.

I yell, "Attack: ElectroDuck!" My duck starts to shimmer with electricity.

Chuckles pauses to take a sip of coffee. "Combo: Dark Duck Attack!" The SkeleDuck breaks into separate bones, the Heavy Metal Duck grabbing the leg bone. BansheeDuck screams, sending vibrations down my spine.

ElectroDuck flinches, and the Heavy Metal Duck swipes him with a leg bone. ElectroDuck squawks and disappears in a puff of smoke.

I sigh, feeling defeated. "How am I supposed to win when you triple summon?"

Chuckles chuckles. "Dude, you can't—not anytime soon at least. But the good news is that Tales of Turtlevania comes on soon. I'm super stoked." Chuckles sinks down in his bean bag chair. "You cool to make some coffee? I'm feeling pretty beat."

No! I've had enough of this.

"There is only one day left until I'm a human puppet! I need to learn, fast! I'm not making any more coffee!" The words come out raw and sharp.

Chuckles doesn't even flinch. He looks at me with lazy black eyes. "Right dude, one more cup, and I'll show you something special. Make this one right, though."

I rush towards the coffee maker. At this point, I have the formula down. Not too much water, just enough grinds, a touch of sugar—exactly how Mr. I’m so Chill likes it.

Chuckles is already watching the turtle soap opera. The opening pictures shows a turtle in his little turtle house, eating a small breakfast of worms and toast.

I bring Chuckles the coffee. He takes a sip. "Alright. Good stuff." He hands me the mug. "Check your magic points." I have thirty-five points. "Drink up."

I've never really had coffee before. I take a sip, and ugh! It burns my tongue! This stuff is hot.

It tastes like dirt. Gross. I cough and put the mug down.

"Come on kid, finish the cup!" Chuckles commands.

I steady myself and drink the rest of the nasty black stuff. I check my WatchGuy and whoa! I have fifty points now. "Dude, this coffee, it boosted my magic points by fifteen! How?"

Chuckles eyes glow. "Magic beans dude. I grow 'em. Dethbrews will give you five points, which is pretty chill. But my magic coffee—a whole fifteen points. It will only go up fifteen though. You can't get any more. But it's still enough to give you an edge. You can do the fusion and have some points left over." Chuckles walks over to the fridge and grabs a canister. "Here kid, a canister of my magic coffee. It should do the trick."

I grab the canister and nod. This is exactly what I needed.

Chuckles sighs. "You decide how to use your extra points. Just read the situation.”

I have an idea! “Hey, maybe I can summon a Shadow Goat. They kind of suck at everything, but they can be a pretty good distraction if—”

Chuckles waves his hand to silence me. “No Shadow Goats. They are horrible. Seriously. Just make sure to summon the GhostDuck and the DinoDuck and then use the fuse command. The Final Charge of that DinoGhost Duck is the only attack powerful enough to do real damage. But remember, it’s probably not going to outright kill Dragula. It will just severely weaken him and drain most of his magic points. You have to finish him off on your own. Besides that, just do you, and it will probably turn out alright."

"Do me? What’s that supposed to mean?"

"Just do you. It can mean whatever you want. Now either get outta here, or be quiet and watch. I'm trying to watch these turtles." Chuckles eyes gaze at the TV.

"Thanks so much for—"

Chuckles shushes me. "Seriously dude. Don’t interrupt my soaps."

I nod and leave quietly. I don't want to distract Chuckles from his super important show or anything.  The last thing I hear from Chuckles is, “No! Get away from Johnny. He’s nothing but trouble!”

I clip the canister of coffee to my belt and climb down the rock wall.

DinoDuck and GhostDuck. Hope you are ready, Dragula.

Dragula's cave is at the top of a grassy, expansive hill. Great, just need to hike up one more hill. Halfway up, I notice something streaming out of the cave. Are those bunnies?

But these aren't normal bunnies. They are Killer Rabbits; horse-sized bunnies with claws and teeth that can easily shred me to pieces. The bright sun highlights their filthy brown fur. These are savage bunnies. Bloodshot red eyes stare at me.

Shoot—this is bad. I turn the other way and book it down the hill. I glance back.

The rabbits are standing at the hilltop, blocking the cave. I'm at the bottom. There is plenty of space to fight on the hill. But if I charge, they will have the high ground! I guess it’s true—the high ground is important. There’s also hundreds of them! Way too many. I can't win this fight. I'm alone. I'm too freaking weak. I'm always too weak.

I back up, brain churning. I just can't fight that many! I don't have time for this! Nerves crawl in my stomach like Sand Worms.

I need Rock and Jade. I can't let them down! I won't let them down! But should I die for them? Maybe, but that would accomplish nothing.

I back into a solid figure. Scarred hands grab my shoulders. "Sparrow! Are you running from battle? I thought you were a member of WarriorCore?"

I look up to see a veteran's smile.

"Spade?” A wave of hope rushes over me. “Spade! What are you doing here?"

Spade bellows a hearty laugh. "I always check up on the journey! Sparrow, do not fear, for I brought friends."

Draven appears from behind Spade, flailing a giant war axe. I feel a surge of strength as Draven screams, "Draven protect Sparrow!" The Orc rushes up the hill, eyes wide in a battle trance.

I see a flash of red, yellow, and gray. It’s our HorseHounds! Conker whinnies as he charges into battle, his blocky teeth flashing. Rockhorse stumbles towards the rabbits, slobbering everywhere. Puffball sprints into the fray in a blur of sunshine yellow.

I hear a whoosh and Jerry flies overhead, giant flaming sword flickering against the sky. The goose bellows, "My goslings are eating rabbit tonight!"

An egg flies towards the crowd of rabbits, shot at a high velocity. Wait, who is this?

A lanky figure appears in the distance. Is that? No. It can’t be.

Out of the shadows emerges a man with a mechanical tank of eggs strapped to his back. He loads an egg into an elastic slingshot. It’s the lanky alchemist dude! You know, the guy that gave me the Dethbrews back at RockPlace.

“Never fear, Lank E. Alchemist is here!” he cries.

Oh, wow. His name is actually Lank E. Alchemist.

Lank E. Alchemist charges into the fray, spraying the rabbits with a ferocious barrage of eggs.

From behind Spade, Andrew dashes in, proudly waving his wand. "I shan't let the Killer Rabbits hurt the poor peasant! Come Martha, let us attack!" Andrew runs up the hill, meeting the rabbits in battle.

A brutish Orc woman lugging a club follows Andrew into the fray. What? Is that Martha? Whoa. I was not expecting that.

Griffin is next to appear. He waves his wand dramatically. "Let them die like sheep to their slaughter! Call: Butcher knife!"

A giant knife appears floating in mid-air.

Griffin charges up the hill, waving his wand and yelling, "Clone!" Multiple Griffins engage the horde of Rabbits, butcher knife creeping towards the crowd.

A tight group of Heavy Metal Goblins appear, wielding electric guitars like swords. One is chugging a Dethbrew, another screaming death metal lyrics at the top of his lungs. They charge up the hill like a bunch of mad goblins who listen to heavy metal all the time and drink Dethbrews for fun.

"Yeah dude, let's mosh!"

"This is so totally hardcore!"

"Fight for your right to party!"

These guys? No way! "I thought you hated Heavy Metal Goblins?"

"You know, I just never gave them a chance.” Spade grins. “They are actually rather charming."

I see a poof of smoke and get a big whiff of coffee. It’s Chuckles.

"How did you know I needed help?" Another wave of relief washes over me.

Chuckles stares at me. "Dude. I'm Chuckles the Chill, remember?"

He calls a DragonDuck and runs into battle, coffee mug in one hand, dishing out spells in the other. The DragonDuck flaps into the skirmish, deadly talons clawing a Killer Rabbit in the face.

I hear a bellow and from behind Spade appears a tall, handsome warrior brandishing a sledge hammer with lethal intent. It’s Granite!

"Killer Rabbits! Suffer the wrath of the Granite Hammer!" With that, Rock’s brother charges into the mass of rabbits, his hammer smashing bunnies with gusto, and his flawless blond hair billowing in the wind.

Spade unsheathes his new weapon—a battle rake. Its ends are sharpened steel. "Come on, Sparrow! We are going to rescue Rock and Jade!"

I draw my staff and yell a fierce cry. Charging into battle next to Spade, I run up the hill to smack a Killer Rabbit in the face with my oaken staff. It snarls at me, but Jerry the goose clobbers it with a giant flaming sword.

Griffin is weaving in and out of the Rabbits, morphing them into harmless sheep. I dodge a sharp claw and club a bunny in the head. Spade finishes him off with a sharp swipe of his rake. Spade yells, "Enchant Weapon: Ice!" His rake gleams with frost magic. He swipes a rabbit, freezing it in place. Martha destroys a brutal bunny with a single swipe of her club. She screams in battle rage.

A Killer Rabbit lunges at me with whirling claws, but a Goblin steps in and crushes the beast with his electric guitar. The grungy Goblin yells, "Gnarly dude!" and dashes back into battle. I whirl my staff at a nearby rabbit, smashing it backwards and disintegrating it into dust. Andrew appears besides me, waving his wand to release a stream of fire magic.

One moment I'm surrounded by rabbits. Shoot—how did this happen? They hiss at me and start to close in. I clench my staff with trembling hands.

A stone hammer smashes one rabbit in the back of the head, reducing it to dust. Granite grabs a flailing Killer Rabbit by the leg. In a massive effort, he throws the rabbit into a tree, sending shreds of rabbit fur and bark everywhere. Granite roars as a Killer Rabbit swipes at him. The claws get stuck in Granite's armor, but the blonde warrior punches the rabbit in the skull. The monster is thrown towards me, and I finish it off with a clean staff to the torso.

A Killer Rabbit lunges at me, knocking me to the floor. Claws sink into my leather armor, and the beast flashes its horrible teeth in my face. Heart beating stupidly fast, I struggle to get free. But I'm pinned down. No, not death by bunny!

I hear a quackroar, and the next moment the Killer Rabbit is swept away by the claws of a DragonDuck. Skinny blue hands pull me off the ground—it’s Chuckles! Before I can thank the guy, he dashes back into the melee. I charge in right behind him, staff twirling freely.

Next moment, the battle is over. We are surrounded by lots of dust and neat packages of Killer Rabbit meat. I pick up some meat and raise it above my head in triumph. "We did it! Spade, we beat the bunnies!"

Spade twirls his battle rake like an old pro. "Yup kid, you did good. Now quit standing there like a dork and go rescue your friends! Of course, we can’t go in with you! Wouldn’t want to inherit two souls and explode, eh?"

Conker runs forward to lick me in the face. “Not now, Conker!” Despite my urge to pet him, I have to push my HorseHound back. “I have to take out Dragula first!”

I run towards Dragula’s den. This is it. Time for the double summon!

Oh, the canister! I can't forget about Chuckle's Magic Coffee! Of course. I open my backpack and grab the canister. I take a swig, and ugh! Coffee tastes horrible. Give me my Dethbrew already! But I need the magic points, so I drink up. Shuddering, I feel a strong surge of energy. I check my WatchGuy—eighty magic points and ninety health points. I have enough magic points for the double and more.

Outside of the cave is the sign that reads, "COUNT DRAGULA'S LAIR. MORTAL FOOLS BEWARE!" To show how hardcore I am, I spit on the sign. Sticking it to the man!

I charge into the lair. No time for fear. I'm getting Rock and Jade back.

Count Dragula is sitting on his throne, eyes fixated on a television. “What? Libby, no! Don’t go for Spencer, he’s so weak!” Dragula yells at the television in horror. “What are you doing! You idiot turtle!” He cries. “Johnny is obviously the one! How can you be so foolish!”

Wait. Is he watching Tales of Turtlevania? And he is team Johnny? Really?

“Are you seriously team Johnny? I knew you were evil and everything, but that’s just messed up. I’m team Spencer all the way.”

Dragula rips his eyes off the TV and gives me an utter death glare. "If it isn't the little Sparrow, flying aimlessly. Come to rescue your annoying friends?" Dragula turns off his TV with a flick of a wrist. Wow. He didn’t even use a remote. Impressive.

Dragula snaps his fingers. Rock and Jade appear in a poof. They are bound in ropes and muffled. Dragula laughs, "They will make great puppets! Well, the girl will anyway, she's bright and positive! The guy? He’s only good for slave labor."

Rock furiously struggles at his binds, but the pale figure ignores him. The Count continues, "Regardless, let us duel, shall we?" Dragula yells, "Call: BloodReaver!" The cherry red sword appears into his hands.

I'm shaking, but I cough out a few words. "It’s over, Dragula!"

"Is that all the wit you can muster?” Dragula looks unimpressed. “Clearly, you don't read much. Or think much. Ahh, I see you now. A simple, narrow-minded child. Perhaps similar to this boy." He points to Rock again. Rock's eyes burn with rage. “An idiotic teen, in way over his head.”

“You’re just insecure because your cousin Dracula is way cooler than you! Bram Stoker never wrote about you! You know why?”

Dragula roars at me in anger.

“Because you’re lame!”

“Shut up!” Dragula screams, face livid in utter rage. “You fool! How dare you bring Bram into this! That man is an utter dolt!”

I think I got under his skin. Time to bring out the ducks.

"Call: DinoDuck!" With a massive quackroar, DinoDuck appears in a burst of smoke. It's a scaly duck monster with teeth lined inside the bill. DinoDuck stands about my height.

Count Dragula yells, "No!" and charges at me. But I already have the next call on my lips. "Call: GhostDuck!" A spirit duck rises from the ground, emanating a chilly quacking sound. Dragula is just in front of me, about to chop me into pieces.

I roll backwards and yell, "Fuse: DinoGhost Duck!" The ghost dives into the body of the DinoDuck, creating a powerful shockwave. Dragula staggers away from me while the duck rapidly grows, easily towering over the vampire.

"DinoGhost Duck: Final Charge!"

The super-duck roars a dinosaur quack and charges. Dragula is overtaken, he drops BloodReaver. The DinoGhost Duck glows blue, and the creature mauls Dragula. The ghost effect drains the Count's magic points.

I scramble to pick up BloodReaver. The sword is heavy in my hands. I have fifteen magic points. This Final Charge better really weaken Dragula, otherwise I don’t have much of a chance.

Dragula screams as DinoGhost Duck chomps on him, slashes him with duck claws, and smacks him with flailing wings. With a final cry, the duck-beast headbutts Dragula and then dissolves into a poof of mist.

Dragula is down for the count. His clothing is torn and blood streams from his lip. He might be dead.

He twitches in agony. Oh, never mind. He’s still alive.

Dragula slowly staggers to his feet and starts limping toward me. His eyes blaze with pure hate.

Oh, darn.

"You fool!” he yells. “You dare defy me! You dare hurt me? I will kill you! And then finish off your sniveling friends! I hate you! I hate your stupid friends! I even hate ducks!"

I lift up BloodReaver to defend myself, but Dragula snaps his wrist. "Return: BloodReaver!" The sword jerks out of my hands and floats towards Dragula. He grabs his deadly weapon, a wicked smile plastered on his face.

I quickly throw a knife at Dragula, but he reflects the missile with a flick of his blade. Panicking, I throw my last knife, but my arm is trembling badly and I straight up miss. The steel clangs harmlessly off the cave floor.

I slip out my staff and charge, but Dragula easily parries my attack. He chops at me, and I try to block. Crack! My staff breaks in half.

“Ha!” Dragula yells. He swipes at me again. BloodReaver tears through my chest armor. I back up. He slashes again. Pain erupts across my ribs.

Screaming, I fall down. My back hits the cave floor—hard. I frantically crawl away, only to find a solid wall. Blood pours out of my wound. I just manage to check my WatchGuy.

Twenty-three health points. I’m almost dead.

Dragula creeps closer, his sword glowing a ghastly red. The Count raises his weapon and sneers at me. "Stupid kid."

I close my eyes. This sucks, but at least I tried. This is better than if I just ran away or something. I had to try. An honorable death isn't the worst thing.

More than anything else, I want to see the sky one last time. That beautiful, blue space filled with those flying feathered creatures. So many birds in the sky...so much life up there. Could I summon a duck to fly on? To glide through the air. With no regrets, no worries, no pain.

But whatever.

I don't get the chance. At least I can die knowing I tried my best. Even if it was all kinda pointless.

I can feel BloodReaver start to close in on me. This is it.

I glance at my WatchGuy. Fifteen magic points.

Just enough for a…. What the heck, it’s worth a shot.

“Summon: Shadow Goat!”

Behehehehehe. The goat’s cry echoes in the cave.

“What’s that?” Dragula points and screams. “Is that a Shadow Goat? They suck at everything! Why would you summon that?” He destroys it with a flick of BloodReaver. The Shadow Goat disappears in a poof.

“Yeah, I kind of realize they suck at everything,” I say. “But you know what? They actually work pretty well as a—”

Dragula silences me with a wave of his hand. “Silence fool! You die today!”

A screaming Rock smashes into Dragula.

The Count drops BloodReaver in surprise. “A Distraction!” I yell.

"Gosh darn vampire!" Rock throws Dragula against the wall, knocking the wind out of him. "I'm going to make you pay!" Dragula punches Rock in the face, sending a gush of blood pouring down Rock's nose. Enraged, Rock emits a berserker cry and relentlessly tackles the Count, bringing the fight to the floor. Dragula struggles to break free, but he's stuck under a raging Rock. Dragula must be out of magic points. "I swear I oughta knock your sorry gothic face in, you stupid Dracula wannabe!" Blood is streaming from Rock's nose, but he continues to rain down punches on Dragula. "You sorry, bat munching, son of a water hag!" Dragula shrieks and crawls away, getting up on his feet and trying to flee.

But Rock runs him down, grabbing him by the leg. "Oh, you scared little vampy? You want the Rock?" Dragula squirms, but Rock's grip is firm. In a crushing hurl, he throws Dragula against the cave wall.

The moaning vampire slams into the stone, tumbling to the ground. He stumbles to his feet and makes an ungainly break for the exit. But Rock catches up and cracks him with a deadly spinning back fist, rotating his entire body to smash the back of his knuckle into Dragula’s face. The Vampire Lord releases an earsplitting shout and dissolves into a pile of ashes.

"You just got Rocked!"

Hundreds of souls shoot out at random, streaming out of the cave. Huh, I wonder where they are going. Probably returning to all of Dragula’s slaves.

Three spheres of light hover in midair over the pile of ashes.

Rock throws a few mock punches. "Heh, just like Granite."

A sphere strikes me in the chest. I feel a brief burst of light, and then the other spheres fly toward Rock and Jade. Jade, still squirming in her pile of ropes, squeaks as the sphere of light slams into her midsection.

I stutter at Rock, "H-how?"

Despite the blood flowing from his nose, Rock grins a wide and happy smile. "It was Jade! She hid a knife and was able to free me while you distracted Dragula. Nice goat trick! Maybe the Shadow Goat doesn’t suck so much after all!” Rock runs towards Jade, smiling blissfully. He leans down to untie her, but blood pours out of his nose onto Jade's face. Jade squirms and squeaks through a muffle.

Rock backs up. "Oh, darn. The Rock Star bleeds."

I get up slowly. Blood runs down my chest, dripping on the ground. "Yeah dude, you probably broke your nose. But I’m bleeding pretty bad too, so no worries."

Rock carefully touches his nose. "No wonder I only have thirty-seven health points. Dang it!"

I finish untying Jade’s ropes, careful not to drip any blood on her. She rips her muffle off and gasps, "Yeah! We did it! We got our souls back!" She gets up and starts running circles around me, wiping the blood off her face. "Sparrow! How did you do that fusion? That was the craziest thing I've ever seen! It was like—boom here is DinoDuck, and next thing you know GhostDuck was coming out of nowhere! Where did you learn that?"

I laugh despite my injury. "Oh, you know. I had some help from this dude called Chuckles and his magic coffee. But that's a story for another time."

Jade smiles and smacks Rock on the back. "And you! That was great! I've never seen combat skills so sharp!"

Rock blushes. "Yeah, it was alright. You know me. Always come through in the clutch." Rock lowers his voice. "Thanks for cutting me out, though."

Jade gives me a confused look. “You know, why didn’t Dragula use any magic? All he did is one simple return spell!”

“That’s because the DinoGhost Duck drained most of his magic points,” I say.

“Ooooooooh,” Jade says. “Now that makes sense. Wow, I’m glad you met Chuckles! Was he as chill as the legends say?”

“Oh yes,” I say. “He was mega chill.” I take a deep breath. "Yeah guys, we did it! We got our souls back! But…what should we do next? I haven't even thought this far." My chest suddenly spasms in pain, and I try to hold back a gasp.

Jade peers at my wound. "Well, we should probably get you guys back to the healers at WarriorCore. You’re both pretty banged up."

Rock insists, "I'm fine!" He attempts to clean up his face with his shirt, but it just smears and he looks even more bloody.

I inspect my chest and hold back a sob. Dragula cut me pretty good. "Yeah, let's get back." For the first time, I notice a pair of golden boots on the ground. Dragula must have dropped them. "Oh, what about these boots? Are they rare or something?"

"Oh!” Jade says. “Let's keep them." She rushes forward to grab the boots. They are probably valuable, but we'll think about that later.

We walk out of the cave to a heroes’ welcome. First, Spade bandages up my chest and sets Rock’s nose. Next thing you know, it’s total chaos. Granite is slapping Rock on the back, Jade is chasing after Jerry, and I’m hanging out with Chuckles, telling him that Dragula was actually team Johnny. Rockhorse is slobbering all over Rock, the Heavy Metal Goblins and I talk about cool bands, Jade is now riding around on Puffball. I’m drinking a Dethbrew with Lank E. Alchemist, while Rock is arm wrestling Martha, and Jade is now shooting arrows into Dragula's “MORTAL FOOLS BEWARE!" sign. The party was freaking sweet.

Spade teleports the whole crew back to WarriorCore after it’s all said and done.

CH 11: A Poet's Quest is Never Over

I’m lying on a healer ward bed, a Dethbrew cool in my hands. My chest is all bandaged up.

Rock is sitting up in an identical bed next to me. His nose is bandaged, but aside from that he's fine, scribbling on notebook paper. Jade pats Rock on the head, "So, how's the nose?"

"Ah, it's good. Doesn't even really hurt. Healer says that with constant spells, I'll be ready for another adventure in two or three days."

Jade twirls around the room, spinning in happy circles. "Yes! I can't wait to get back out there and fight some more monsters. Maybe this time, we can take down a Swamp Overlord or a Chainsaw Zombie!"

"I'll be happy for my couple days off.” Rock says. “Listen to this new poem I wrote!"

He clears his throat:

Count Dragula is wearing thin

I beat him down, down within

‘Cuz seriously. That guy sucks

Our first Adventure may come to a close,

But from here, even I—The Rock Star

Does not know where it goes

And Heavy Metal Goblins are cool

But not quite as cool as Spade

Who is really cool

But even Spade

Isn't quite as cool

As me—the Rock Star

Because I'm mega cool

And I get babes left and right

And I'm also really strong

And my favorite color is orange

Because orange is a pretty manly color

The manliest of colors

Get ready for this simile

Life is like a shovel

That I hit people on the head with

Yes: Everything I have written is true

Just ask Sparrow

Peace out

There is a brief awkward silence, and then Rock smiles broadly. "Eh? How was it? Pretty good, right?"

Jade ruffles Rock's hair. "Keep practicing, Rock. You'll get there."

"What? I'll get there? What does that mean? I’m already there! That poem is world class!"

I laugh. "It's alright Rock, poetry is hard. I'm not good at it either."

"What? Not good at it either? I'm a great poet, and you know it!"

I hear a familiar voice from outside the room. "Actually Rock, I thought that poem was fantastic!" It’s Spade.

Spade enters the room and slips me a sly wink. Rock groans, "Finally, somebody who understands art!"

Spade clears his throat. "I am more than pleased with your group, your well-earned gold is on the way. You have proven yourself more than capable in combat. I am happy to promote you to the rank of Super Noob. Congratulations!"

Sweet! We are now Super Noobs!

Jade squirms with happiness, but Rock just scribbles down a few more lines of poetry.

"Does this mean we get another mission?" Jade says. "I want to go on another adventure, now that I am a Super Noob!"

Spade smiles broadly. "That's the spirit! Of course Jade, the journey is never over at WarriorCore! Draven will meet with you soon enough."

“Yay! Another mission!” yells Jade.

"Keep up the poetry, kid,” Spade adds. “We might be able to use your verse in our next WarriorCore publication."

"Sweet! You can count on me, Spade! I will perfect my art!"

Spade chuckles and steps out of the room.

Rock points at Jade. "See? I am a good poet."

"Yes Rock, I suppose you are." Jade laughs. "Sparrow, is that a Dethbrew? Why are you drinking that?"

"I dunno. I just like the taste, I guess." I finish the brew and slowly belch. I glance at my WatchGuy. Seventy-one magic points.

Draven nods and points at a horribly drawn diagram on a chalkboard. "Yes. Next mission ready. You go to VolticIslands." I guess the picture is of VolticIslands, but it just looks like a blob again to me.

Rock fist pumps. "VolticIslands? Isn't that place like paradise?"

"Paradise, yes. But also lava. And much dinosaur monsters. Many monsters." Draven points to his picture. Is that blob supposed to be a monster? Beats me.

Jade raises her hand. "What are we looking for?"

"Impatient girl. You hunt turtle tamer."

I sit up. "What? A turtle tamer? Like me, except he calls turtles?"

"No. He trains turtles. And he's evil."

Jade asks, "As evil as Dragula?"

"Don't know.” Draven shrugs his bulky shoulders. “You guys find out. Draven forgets teleportation tablet. Draven will be back." Draven walks out of the room.

Rock gives me a hard slap on the back. "Heck yeah! The Rock Star is going to roll through this turtle tamer like I took out Dragula." He flexes his forearm discreetly.

"Oh, this is so exciting!” Jade says. “We get to go to VolticIslands and hunt a turtle tamer of all things! This is exactly the mission I wanted!"

I lean back on my chair and a crack a wide smile. To my left is Rock with his hard muscles and quasi-confident flair. And Jade? Super excited to do this life-threatening and annoyingly vague mission. Typical.

But who is the guy in the middle? I dunno, some kid who is happiest with a flaming duck in one hand and a sizzling Dethbrew in the other.

Speaking of flaming ducks, why not summon one? "Call: FlameDuck!" A burst of fire reveals a flaming duck in front of me. As I grab him, he quacks softly. His warm feet come to rest on my shoulder.

Rock smiles at the duck. "Bro, I haven't seen that duck since I took down that SquirNinja!"

"Rock!" Jade teases. "We all did that together!"

"Pffft. Girls must have short term memory problems or something. That was all me!"

FlameDucky nibbles my ear with his warm bill. His soft tongue gives me goosebumps. "Yeah Jade, that was all Rock. We just sat down and watched him fight, remember?" We all laugh.

I work for WarriorCore. But what matters to me is not the mission or the rewards or the danger or even our contribution to society. It's the swaggering dude to my left and the chattering girl to my right.

FlameDuck starts to clean his feathers, steam billows off his wings. I stroke him behind the neck, his feathers warm and toasty. Ducky closes his eyes happily as I scratch him. You know what? I really like these ducks.

Draven comes back with the clay tablet and an Orcish grin on his face. "The Mission. Do you accept?"

I glance at Rock. He throws me a high eyebrow. Jade flashes her insane grin.

"Let's find this turtle dude. I accept."

"Yeah! I can't wait for our next adventure! Oh, I'm so excited I could dance!"

"The Rock Star never backs down from anything. He is a strong, independent man who forges his own destiny! He accepts! And he also happens to woo all the single ladies with his love poetry in his spare time. Isn't that right Jade?"

"Shut up Rock! You're ruining the moment! And your poetry stinks!"

"What? My poetry is amazing and you know it! And what moment? We're just agreeing to go on the mission? That's no big deal, right?"

"Of course it's a big deal! This is, like, the biggest moment in our friendship!"

"Don't you friend zone me! The Rock Star will never be friend zoned. Not by anyone, let alone you!"

"Shut up guys, or I'm going to summon ZombieDuck and send him after both of you!"

"No! Not ZombieDuck!"

"Rock, you just said you weren't afraid of anything? Why would you be scared of a silly undead duck?"

"Jade, have you seen that thing? Or worse, have you smelled it?"

"Pfft, quit being such a pansy!"

"Guys, I wasn't kidding about that ZombieDuck thing!"

"The Rock Star is not scared, not of anything!"

"But you just said you were terrified of ZombieDuck!"

"I did not!"

"Guys! Shut up already!"

"Yes you did!"

"Call: ZombieDuck!"

"Quaaaaaaack…. Quaaaaaack…."

"Gah! Get that thing away from me!"

And there sits ZombieDuck. Rotted feathers hang off mangy flesh. His bill is crooked and warped. Flies swarm a ghastly duck head. But if you look closely at the dark bill, you'd notice something. A slight smile—smiling as only an undead duck can possibly smile. A raw ZombieDuck grin.

And that's a wrap. It's a pretty cool place, right? The epic, chill, magic and monster-filled place called Warscapia. I hope you enjoyed your visit, but you should probably go now. Go back to that Earth world. I've never been there, but I heard it's alright as long as you can avoid all the stupid doctors' offices, boring history lectures, and lame traffic jams. What's the point of a history lecture, anyway? You, like, learn old stuff? That sounds pretty dumb to me. Count me out. But seriously, if you ever want to come here and hang out, the Dethbrews are on me! Just remember, Warscapia is closer than you think. Just look around the corner, and you'll find us. You just have to find the right corner.

Transcribed by Jasper "Sparrow" Tornadosoul in WarriorCore Publication #176

Table of Contents

- CH 1: Welcome to Warscapia
- CH 2: SquirNinja of FoxBrush
- CH 3: Bertha
- CH 4: The DraculaDragon
- CH 5: Time for Adventure and Stuff
- CH 6: BoggsLand -- 10 days left
- CH 7: WizardsWorld -- 4 days left
- CH 8: Lost -- 3 days left
- CH 9: Chuckles the Chill -- 2 days left
- CH 10: Round Three: FIGHT! -- The LAST day
- CH 11: A Poet's Quest is Never Over