William Shakespeare's The Clone Army Attacketh
Author: Ian Doescher
Date: 2015-07-07 04:00:00+00:00
Keywords: Star Wars; Science Fiction; Humor; Plays; Fiction; Fantasy; Drama; Poetry; retellings; Space Opera
Description: To Shmi or not to Shmi? The curtain rises on yeoman Jedi Anakin Skywalker, a man torn between duty to his Masters, attraction to Padmé, and concern for his beloved mother, Shmi. His choices will determine not just his own destiny, but that of the entire Republic. An thereby hangs a tale. Out, damned Fett! A noble lady in danger. A knight and squire in battle. And a forbidden love written in the stars. The quill of William Shakespeare meets the galaxy of George Lucas... complete with period illustrations, insightful soliloquies, and masterful meter that will convince you the Bard himself penned
Publisher: Quirk Books

Copyright © 2015 by Lucasfilm Ltd. & TM. All rights reserved.

Used under authorization.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher.

Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Number: 2014953127

ISBN 9781594748073
eBook ISBN 9781594748202

Text by Ian Doescher

Illustrations by Nicolas Delort

Production management by John J. McGurk

Quirk Books

215 Church Street

Philadelphia, PA 19106
quirkbooks.com
v4.1

TO HESTON HAVENS AND TO SARAH CRESWELL:

TWO JEDI KNIGHTS BEYOND THE GALAXY

WHOSE KIND AND LOVING HEARTS SHALL NE’ER BE CLONED

Contents

Cover

Title Page

Copyright

Dedication

Dramatis Personae

Prologue

Act I

Scene 1
Scene 2
Scene 3
Scene 4

Act II

Scene 1
Scene 2
Scene 3
Scene 4
Scene 5

Act III

Scene 1
Scene 2
Scene 3
Scene 4
Scene 5
Scene 6

Act IV

Scene 1
Scene 2
Scene 3
Scene 4
Scene 5

Act V

Scene 1
Scene 2
Scene 3
Scene 4

Afterword

Acknowledgments

About the Authors

DRAMATIS PERSONAE

CHORUS

RUMOR

YODA, a Jedi Master

OBI-WAN KENOBI, a Jedi Knight

ANAKIN SKYWALKER, his Jedi apprentice

MACE WINDU and KI-ADI-MUNDI, Jedi Masters

JOCASTA NU, keeper of the Jedi archives

PADMÉ AMIDALA, senator of Naboo

CORDÉ and DORMÉ, her handmaidens and decoys

CAPTAIN TYPHO, of Amidala’s guard

BAIL ORGANA and ASK AAK, senators of the Republic

QUEEN JAMILLIA and SIO BIBBLE, queen and governor of Naboo

R2-D2, C-3PO, and R4-P17, droids

SHMI SKYWALKER and CLIEGG LARS, Anakin’s mother and her husband

OWEN LARS and BERU WHITESUN, Shmi’s stepson and his mate

JAR JAR BINKS, a Gungan clown

CHANCELLOR PALPATINE/DARTH SIDIOUS, a Sith Lord

COUNT DOOKU/DARTH TYRANUS, a Sith

MAS AMEDDA and DAR WAC, vice chancellor and aide

TAUN WE and LAMA SU, cloners of Kamino

JANGO FETT and BOBA FETT, a bounty hunter and his son

ZAM WESELL, an assassin

ELAN SLEAZEBAGGANO, a wretch

DEXTER JETTSTER and WA-7, a Coruscant merchant and his droid

NUTE GUNRAY, viceroy of the Trade Federation

WAT TAMBOR, SHU MAI, and SAN HILL, Separatist Alliance conspirators

POGGLE THE LESSER, archduke of Geonosis

ACKLAY, NEXU, and REEK, beasts of Geonosis

WATTO, a tradesman of Tatooine

SENATORS, PILOTS, GUARDS, DROIDS, CREATURES, MEMBERS OF THE JEDI ORDER, and JEDI YOUNGLINGS

PROLOGUE.

Outer space.

Enter CHORUS.

CHORUS

All hurly-burly goes the galaxy—

The Senate sees a time of harsh unrest.

For many thousand systems do decree

Intent to leave th’Republic’s troubl’d nest.

This movement of the sep’ratists is led

By one Count Dooku, garb’d in mystery.

The Jedi Knights are press’d and thinly spread:

The peace they keep grows weaker by degree.

A vital vote the Senate doth pursue:

Shall they an army for th’Republic make?

Strong senator—Am’dala of Naboo—

To Coruscant makes way, this plan to break.

In time so long ago begins our play,

In clash-strewn galaxy far, far away.

[Exit.

SCENE 1.

A landing platform on the planet Coruscant.

Enter PADMÉ, in Naboo fighter ship, with R2-D2.

PADMÉ

In sooth, I know not why I am so sad;

Is this one moment not without its hope?

The Senate doth face challenges, indeed,

Yet need my visage sing such somber tones?

The music of our strong democracy

Hath instruments enough to keep its tune:

A symphony of peace it hath perform’d,

For many years delighting all who hear.

The past, though, doth not croon the future’s song.

The minstrel of the present plays his lute

As though to prophesy some tragedy

And turn our joyful march to mournful dirge.

E’en now there comes a frightful dissonance,

A clang, a crash—the cymbals roughly struck.

Our major calm, our time of quietude,

Doth modulate unto a minor key.

Too hastily we turn to drum and fife,

The sounds of war assaulting ev’ry ear.

My sadness, then, plays countermelody

To these stark notes of conflict, pain, and strife.

Enter CORDÉ dressed as SENATOR AMIDALA and NABOO GUARDS, in royal cruiser ship. Enter CAPTAIN TYPHO, aside in fighter ship.

GUARD 1

My senator, I bring this brief report:

To Coruscant we make our swift approach.

CORDÉ

’Tis well, Lieutenant. Let us, then, proceed.

Our royal cruiser shall its landing make,

Beside the fighter ships escorting us.

[The Naboo royal cruiser and fighter ships land on Coruscant.

R2-D2

Beep, meep, beep, whistle, squeak!

TYPHO

[to Padmé:]                         —We have arriv’d,

And all within our party quite unscath’d.

Forsooth, my trepidation was misplac’d:

There was no cause or reason to have fear,

No danger hath pursu’d us to this place.

My guess was wrong, and we are landed safe.

[The royal cruiser explodes. Naboo guards die.

Alas! How like a fool my spirits change—

Methought I had been wrong, and now am wrong’d!

PADMÉ

[to Cordé:] O, Cordé, thou who took my rightful place,

Unrightfully art slain through villainy.

CORDÉ

My lady, I have fail’d you in this death,

And with my final breath beg you: forgive.

I would I had another life to give,

That you another death might still be spar’d.

[Cordé dies.

PADMÉ

Weep, eyes, for sorrow comes too suddenly!

TYPHO

Good lady, you are yet in danger here.

We must get hence and get you from this place.

PADMÉ

’Tis certain I should never have return’d.

TYPHO

Yet is this vote a thing of consequence,

Which you and your estate may not dismiss.

Young Cordé hath fulfill’d her duty true,

If you would honor her, fulfill yours, too.

[Exeunt.

SCENE 2.

On the planet Coruscant, in the chambers of the chancellor.

Enter CHANCELLOR PALPATINE, YODA, MACE WINDU, KI-ADI-MUNDI, and other MEMBERS OF THE JEDI COUNCIL.

PALPATINE

The vote shall not suspended be for long;

Star systems plentiful continue their

Most swift departure to the sep’ratists.

Thus doth the Senate presently demand

A vote that shall decide if we shall see

An army in the strong Republic’s name.

MACE

If they would in my country not remain—

PALPATINE

I shall not let the great Republic, which

Hath stood for lo these thousand years as one,

Be split in twain by any errant group,

No matter how misguided they may be.

Pray, trust me: my negotiations shall

Not fail to bring those systems to our fold.

MACE

Yet if they fail, ’twould be the kiss of death:

And we have not the Jedi to maintain

The order and defense Republic needs

Against a foe formidable as they.

You would do well to bear this in your thoughts:

We are but peacekeepers—not soldiers, nay.

PALPATINE

Wise Master Yoda, what do you foresee?

Shall this grim path but lead to bitter war?

Are all our steps directed thereunto?

YODA

The dark side rises—

Cloudeth ev’rything it doth.

Thus, the future hides.

Enter DAR WAC in beam.

DAR

Mahala, geena beeska wooski woo.

PALPATINE

The loyalists have come? My thanks, Dar Wac.

DAR

Ma hanna hoonja parawa.

PALPATINE

—Thou mayst

Admit them to our presence even now.

[Exit Dar Wac from beam.

Another time this matter we’ll discuss,

Yet now the delegation from Naboo

I must with all good will and comfort greet.

Enter PADMÉ, CAPTAIN TYPHO, BAIL ORGANA, JAR JAR BINKS, and other NABOO GUARDS.

YODA

[to Padmé:] My dear Senator,

Your tragedy whilst landing

Most terrible was.

Yet that you still live

Bringeth feelings of deep warmth

To this Jedi heart.

PADMÉ

My thanks, good Master Yoda. Do you have

Suggestion as to who made this attack?

Can your keen Jedi sight see e’en thus far?

MACE

Our best reports point to the twisted minds

Of various spice miners who are found

Upon the moons of your small home, Naboo.

PADMÉ

Nay, these reports have not the air of truth,

For ’tis my sense Count Dooku is to blame.

KI-ADI

A shrewd political idealist is

The man; to murther hath he not yet turn’d.

MACE

You know, my lady, Jedi was he once—

’Tis true he’s none in the new age, yet still

His nature runs not to assassination.

’Tis not within Count Dooku’s character:

The role of murderer he playeth not.

YODA

Yet most certain ’tis,

Senator Amidala:

In danger you are.

PALPATINE

Brave Master Jedi, humbly I suggest

The senator be safeguarded by you.

BAIL

Is’t wise to play our hand in such a way,

Since this grave moment bringeth such distress?

PADMÉ

Sir Chancellor, if you would hear me speak:

’Tis not my wish, nor is it my belief—

PALPATINE

’Tis not your firm belief, young senator,

Our situation hath become so dire?

It may not be, and yet I disagree:

The tide of these affairs hath turn’d most rough,

And threatens now to overturn the ship

Of our Republic. ’Tis most serious.

Whilst I do grasp that this additional

Security may be most noisome, it

Is also vital you protected are.

Mayhap if ’twere a Jedi you know well—

A friend of times gone by, I have the man:

E’en Master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Yea?

MACE

’Tis possible. He hath return’d e’en now:

A border quarrel nearby Ansion—

With each combatant raging like a moose—

He hath of late o’erseen, and presently

He hath made his return to Coruscant.

PALPATINE

If not for your fond people of Naboo,

If not for the Republic that you serve,

If not for this grim danger you are in,

Do it, if not for these, then for my sake.

When my mind ponders thought of losing you,

’Tis more, my lady, than my soul can bear.

MACE

Brave Obi-Wan shall make report to you

Immediately, lady. And, fear not:

He shall be most discreet, and out of sight

E’en though he ever guards you steadily.

PADMÉ

Kind Master Windu, take mine utmost thanks.

[Exeunt Palpatine, Padmé, Typho, Yoda, Mace Windu, Ki-Adi-Mundi, and Jedi Council members.

Enter ANAKIN SKYWALKER.

ANAKIN

Hold still, mine hands, be still, O fev’rish blood,

If the mere thought of her doth move me so,

How shall it be when I stand by her side?

How when her lovely face doth meet mine eyes?

What shall I do when mine ears hear her voice,

Which is a sweeter music to my soul

Above all else the galaxy could sound?

The measure of my keen affection doth

Exceed all measure, line, or boundary.

And this affection, bred of memory,

Is but a shadow to what may come forth

When in her presence I shall stand at last.

Enter OBI-WAN KENOBI.

OBI-WAN

Good morrow, my young Padawan. How is’t?

What trouble’s this in thy complexion here,

What matter pulls thy spirit out of sorts?

ANAKIN

[aside:] Alas, how well he knows mine ev’ry look.

[To Obi-Wan:] Nay, nay, ’tis nothing, Master. All
is well.

OBI-WAN

I sense the falsehood e’en as it is spoke—

Thou art far tenser now than I have seen

Since we into that nest of gundarks fell.

ANAKIN

A fallen memory indeed, kind sir,

For it was you who did the falling whilst

I did the rescuing, if I recall.

OBI-WAN

Perchance some fault befalls my memory—

Forsooth, ’twas as thou sayest, I confess.

Although ’twas frightening, it brings me mirth:

Aye, danger may be merry when ’tis past.

But now, behold thy face—thou dost perspire!

I prithee, Anakin, relax, breathe deep.

ANAKIN

I have not seen the lass lo these ten years.

OBI-WAN

[aside:] I guess’d ’twas thoughts of Padmé plagu’d
him so.

Enter JAR JAR BINKS.

JAR JAR

’Tis Obi! Meesa smile to see you.

OBI-WAN

And thee as well, kind Jar Jar. Art thou well?

Enter PADMÉ and CAPTAIN TYPHO.

JAR JAR

O, Missa Padmé mees got palos!

See, Senator, de Jedi commee.

PADMÉ

[aside:] Who is this man who stands before me here?

There’s Obi-Wan, I know him well enough,

And is this—can it be? ’Tis Anakin.

How unfamiliar is his face to me,

How like a man and not the boy I knew!

Though I feel I have ag’d but little since

I last did see him, back on small Naboo,

The change in him doth tell of many years

That evidently fill’d the interim.

OBI-WAN

It is a joy to see you once again.

PADMÉ

It hath been years too many, Obi-Wan—

Time’s march continues on as quicksilver.

And Ani? Is it thee? How thou hast grown!

ANAKIN

And thou as well, in charm and loveliness.

I mean but loveliness most politic,

And charm that doth befit a senator.

’Twas nothing more I meant, nay, nothing more.

OBI-WAN

[aside:] How like a child he stammers, nervous wretch.

PADMÉ

O, Ani, whether I have grown or no,

Thou shalt forever in mine eyes be that

Small boy I met on windblown Tatooine.

OBI-WAN

Our presence here shall be invisible:

This is my promise to you, Senator.

TYPHO

My name is Captain Typho, I provide

Security unto Her Majesty.

Our queen, Jamillia, hath been notified

Of your assignment to the senator.

Your presence here doth make me grateful, sir;

The danger we are in, I’ll warrant, is

Far more than our dear senator admits.

PADMÉ

’Tis not security I need, but answers,

For guards I have enough, with questions more:

Who is’t who tried to kill me on the ship?

And wherefore would they seek to harm me so?

Is our Republic come to such a state?

OBI-WAN

Our charge is to protect you, Senator.

Investigation is not our command.

ANAKIN

We will discover who hath made assault

Upon thy life, my lady: so swear I.

OBI-WAN

Our mandate shall not be exceeded, nay,

Speak thou not out of turn, my Padawan.

ANAKIN

I meant but in the interest of her

Protection, Master, nothing more indeed.

OBI-WAN

I need not tell thee once again that thou

Shouldst follow on my lead, young Anakin.

ANAKIN

But wherefore?

OBI-WAN

—Eh? What didst thou to me say?

ANAKIN

Good Master, wherefore would they put us in

Her service were it not to find the one

Who was her vicious would-be murderer?

Protection is a task fit for some brute,

A local force to keep a person safe,

Requiring not a Jedi’s skillful art.

’Tis far beyond all reason to employ

A Jedi in a simple sheriff’s trade.

In short: investigation is implied

Within the prime directive we were giv’n.

OBI-WAN

We shall proceed exactly in the terms

The Council hath instructed us, no more.

We are not led by implication, lad.

PADMÉ

[aside:] This conversation is not for mine ears:

The Jedi do forget themselves, I fear.

OBI-WAN

And thou shalt learn thy proper place, young one.

PADMÉ

Belike your presence shall reveal to us

The mystery of whence the threat hath come.

I prithee now, excuse me. I’ll retire,

For all shall be improv’d by rest and sleep.

[Exit Padmé.

TYPHO

I am reliev’d to have you here, good sirs.

For my part, I shall station officers

At ev’ry door, and take myself unto

The center of control to watch o’er her.

[Exeunt Obi-Wan and Captain Typho.

JAR JAR

Mees bustin’ happy t’see you, Ani.

ANAKIN

She hardly recognized me, Jar Jar. Fie!

Yet ev’ry day since we last met she hath

Been forefront in my thoughts, the leading light

Of ev’ry day that pass’d, surpassing all.

She thought of me but little, if at all,

I am a memory to her, forgotten.

What foolishness I must have shown to her—

My words fell trippingly from out my lips

As though I were a simple-minded fool.

Then Obi-Wan corrected me as though

I were an errant child. So must I seem

To her, and him, and all of them besides.

Enter OBI-WAN KENOBI.

JAR JAR

But she’s mo happy den in long time.

OBI-WAN

Thou art too focus’d on the negative.

Be mindful, Anakin, of all thy thoughts.

She was, indeed, most pleas’d to see us both.

I prithee, let us verify that all

The needed measures are in place to keep

The senator safeguarded and secure.

[Exeunt Obi-Wan and Anakin.

JAR JAR

Young Anakin would not speak with such ease—

Would not pour out the contents of his heart,

Would not with such a carefree boldness tell

The sorrows and complaints within his soul—

If he suspected I were more than fool.

For years I’ve watched among the senators,

The politicians’ greed, the laws’ delays,

The insolence of office, and the pow’r

That makes our little galaxy progress.

Is it a wonder turmoil comes to us,

Since we are led by such brutality?

Yet I may not my feelings true express:

I shall do what I may to set things right,

But never shall my fool’s comportment fall.

I chose, aye, long ago, to play this role

And I shall play the part unto the end.

What would they say if Jar Jar suddenly

Spoke as they do, or show’d an aspect wise?

Why, they would think me mad e’en as I spoke

More sanely than I ever did before.

Nay, it shall not be so: I’ll not remove

The mask I have put on. ’Tis for their sake:

For like this Anakin they comfort find

In having one among them simpler than

They know themselves to be. ’Tis passing strange.

These humans are a mystery to me,

E’en though I see them with an eagle’s eye.

Thus, keep thy fervent peace now, Jar Jar Binks.

Forever may they think my mind is weak;

This giveth me th’advantage that I seek.

[Exit.

SCENE 3.

On the planet Coruscant, in Padmé’s chamber and on the city streets.

Enter RUMOR.

RUMOR

Into swift Rumor’s net these mortals fly,

Ne’er guessing that the traitor’s there, within.

Thus doth the cord of Rumor neatly tie

Round all of them a band to wrap them in.

O, see how I my merry pranks do play,

Distracting them with votes and sep’ratists,

Unknowingly they scramble on their way,

Confus’d by fear that in their souls persists.

Into this time of doubt, another comes

Now entering the scene, a larger threat—

Gainsaying the Republic in vast sums,

Join’d with their enemies is Jango Fett.

A vicious man and cruel to all his foes,

Ne’er was a bounty hunter so revil’d.

Giv’n to misanthropy, he hatred knows

Of ev’ryone—except a twinlike child.

Full many whispers doth this Rumor spread,

Engaging ev’ry mind in fear and doubt.

To ev’ry ear doth come my voice of dread,

Till all the galaxy in pain shall shout.

[Exit Rumor.

Enter JANGO FETT and ZAM WESELL on balcony.

ZAM

I hit the ship, sir, yet the job’s not done:

They did employ a decoy who’s now dead,

Yet our main target slipp’d away unscath’d.

JANGO

Yea, now we shall a stronger method employ.

My client groweth ever more impatient, Zam.

Pray, take thou this canister and let caution guide
thine ev’ry step. Little though these beasts may be,
they are most vicious—aye, and poisonous as well.

E’en now go hence, and pray remember—I’ll have
no more mistakes, upon thy life.

[Exeunt.

Enter OBI-WAN KENOBI and ANAKIN SKYWALKER.
Enter R2-D2 aside, next to PADMÉ, who is asleep.

OBI-WAN

Keen Captain Typho hath more men downstairs

To guard the senator than we shall need—

No smart assassin would make entrance there.

Hast thou seen aught of substance?

ANAKIN

—Nothing, nay.

’Tis quiet as an ancient ruin where

The dead lie still, unmoving in their tombs.

This waiting doth my better instincts thwart—

I would not on an incident attend,

Yet rather would preemptive action take.

[A sensor begins beeping.

OBI-WAN

What is’t?

ANAKIN

—The cameras she cover’d o’er.

’Tis possible she did not like mine eyes

A’wand’ring o’er her as she tried to sleep.

OBI-WAN

But this is madness! What is in her mind?

ANAKIN

’Tis well—she set R2 to sound a loud

Alarum should a base intruder enter.

OBI-WAN

There are more ways than one a senator

To murther—R2 shall but warning make.

ANAKIN

’Tis true, and yet we would the killer catch.

OBI-WAN

Then hast thou plann’d to use her as thy bait?

ANAKIN

Accuse me not, I pray—’twas her idea.

No harm shall come to her, for with the Force

I sense whate’er befalls within that room.

The air could not shift in the least degree

But I would feel an ’twere a hurricane.

I bid you, trust me.

OBI-WAN

—’Tis a risk unwise.

Thy senses are not well enough attun’d,

Particularly where she is concern’d,

My young apprentice.

ANAKIN

—Yours are better, eh?

OBI-WAN

’Tis possible. Pray, set aside thy pride.

Enter ZAM WESELL on balcony with PROBE DROID.

ZAM

Go, droid, take thou these beasts and do my work

Of death and murther—aye, get hence! This night

Shall see my just reward for task completed.

Thus shall a senator a coffin fill,

And thus shall Jango Fett my coffer fill.

[Exit Zam.

PROBE

A trick, a trap, a sudden death,

Someone shall soon be out of breath!

When I drop off these kouhun bugs

They’ll slink past curtains, walls, and rugs,

Delivering their lethal bite

Which shall bring death into the night.

’Tis bugs shall be the end of her—

We’re off to kill a senator!

[The probe droid flies to where Padmé sleeps.

OBI-WAN

Thou lookest sore fatigu’d, young Padawan,

And should find sleep, not watch o’er one who doth.

ANAKIN

I do confess, I sleep not well of late.

OBI-WAN

Is it thy gentle mother, Anakin?

ANAKIN

Yea; she is ever subject of my dreams,

Though wherefore this should be, I do not know.

OBI-WAN

Dreams, like a storm, may pass in their own time,

Till all is calm and quiet once again.

ANAKIN

Much rather would I dreams of Padmé have,

Such storms I could endure eternally.

To be near her again begins a squall

Which riseth in my heart, as windstorm ne’er

Did blow upon the dunes of Tatooine.

OBI-WAN

Be mindful of these thoughts tempestuous,

They do betray a spirit blustery.

A Jedi does not row by waters rough,

But seeks calm waters and a steady sail.

Thy charts are fix’d: the Jedi order is

Thy destination and thy harbor true.

To change thy course would be most difficult.

And Padmé’s but a politician sly,

Whose rudder may on any tide be mov’d.

[The probe droid begins to cut through Padmé’s window.

ANAKIN

Nay, she is unlike all the others in

The Senate: even-keel’d, direct, and firm.

Her glance could make a hundred storms be still,

Her face could set a thousand ships aright.

OBI-WAN

In my experience, when politics

Are at the helm, no course is ever true.

These senators may seek to please those who

Would fund campaigns and make them seaworthy,

But nothing more. They’d cut the anchor of

Democracy at tempest’s first raindrop

Without a thought, if they but funded are.

ANAKIN

Now shall I hear another lecture from

The ancient mariner, e’en Obi-Wan.

What do you know of economics, sir,

Which rough, high seas were once your albatross?

[The probe droid releases two kouhun bugs into Padmé’s chamber.

PROBE

The merriment begins at once!

The unsuspecting Jedi dunce

Hath miss’d mine entrance to her room

And shall, anon, behold her doom!

R2-D2

Beep, squeak! [Aside:] My scanner hath detected life,

So shall I scan the chamber thoroughly.

Nay, nothing by my scope discover’d is,

So shall I to my droidly sleep return.

[The kouhun bugs crawl, advancing, under Padmé’s bedclothes.

PROBE

The droid hath miss’d them—pretties, go,

Be neither legs nor bodies slow!

With puncture swift our payment take,

And from this sleep she shall not wake.

ANAKIN

You do but draw a picture general,

Not ev’ry ship that sails th’Republic’s seas

Is bound for stormy weather—Palpatine,

Let him stand for a counter to your point,

A bulwark ’gainst the flood of sep’ratists,

Our chancellor doth float a level tack.

OBI-WAN

’Tis Palpatine shall be thy paragon?

The man is politician through and through,

And is a clever navigator of

The passions and desires of senators.

[The kouhun bugs prepare to strike Padmé.

ANAKIN

Yet I believe he is a noble soul,

Fit to direct our vessel—wait, alack!

OBI-WAN

I sense it, too—her room, let’s thither go!

[Obi-Wan and Anakin enter Padmé’s room. Anakin brandishes his lightsaber, destroying the bugs.

PROBE

Our errand fails, and I must fly,

Be off into the darken’d sky!

If they should catch me stalking here

My master’s punishment I fear.

[Obi-Wan jumps through the window, catching the probe droid.

PADMÉ

What’s this—what hath occurr’d?

ANAKIN

—Stay here, I pray!

For Obi-Wan was right: a storm doth brew.

R2-D2

[aside:] O, curse my wires, I was not fast enough,

And now these gallant Jedi danger face!

[Exeunt Padmé and R2-D2. Exit Anakin severally. Obi-Wan continues to cling to the probe droid.

OBI-WAN

Methinks this droid shall be the end of me,

For up and down Coruscant’s busy lanes

It pulls me, with a mind to shake me loose.

Enter ANAKIN SKYWALKER on balcony, climbing into a speeder.

ANAKIN

On speeder’s wings I fly most speedily,

My master to recover and protect

And rescue him from peril dire. E’en more,

I’ll find the worthless rogue who doth attempt

To murther my most precious Padmé. Go!

[Exit Anakin in speeder.

OBI-WAN

Past speeders several I barely dodge,

And see the fear on ev’ry driver’s face.

They little do expect to see a man

A’hanging from a droid midst traffic jamm’d.

If I should fall, they may find bits of me

Strewn yon and hither on the city streets.

One driver calls me “Jedi poodoo”! Aye—

If I should fall upon the ground below,

His bitter prophecy may be fulfill’d:

I shall, like poodoo, make the bottom foul.

Enter ZAM WESELL on balcony.

ZAM

The droid returns, but what hangs thereupon?

A Jedi Knight? Alas, I am undone—

Some failure doth his presence here portend.

Yet he shall not discover who I am,

For he shall taste the ghastly consequence

Of mine exacting rifle’s fiery blast.

PROBE

O, thither stands my master, joy—

This hanger-on doth so annoy!

Yet what is that within her hand?

Her rifle? I don’t under—

[Zam shoots the probe droid, destroying it, and Obi-Wan falls.

ZAM

’Tis done. Now I shall flee from wrath of Fett.

[Exit Zam.

OBI-WAN

From bad to worse this moment swiftly goes;

All downward fly my chances to survive.

Look how the ground doth speed toward my body—

Let this not be the end of Obi-Wan!

Enter ANAKIN SKYWALKER in speeder.

ANAKIN

Behold, I see him, falling yet alive—

’Tis not the fall, but landing, that shall hurt.

Now quickly, Anakin, fly just below,

And give him space to break his fall with ease.

[Obi-Wan lands inside the speeder.

OBI-WAN

What kept thee? Hadst thou some employment
elsewhere?

ANAKIN

’Tis ever so when fac’d with such a choice—

What speeder should I use? A cockpit must

Be open to the air, with speed to match.

The color must be pleasant to the eye.

A young man must consider this, so to

Bedeck himself with style, is this not true?

OBI-WAN

An ’twere thy skill with lightsaber were half

As sharp as thy most rapierlike wit,

Thou wouldst do well, e’en challenge Yoda’s art.

ANAKIN

Methinks my skill doth match his even now.

OBI-WAN

Nay, only in thy mind, apprentice young.

Yet truly, hear my words: thou hast my thanks

E’en if I do not share thy jests. Indeed,

Thine humor I might find more humorous

Had not another fate befallen me.

ANAKIN

Befallen, verily, but less than fell.

You are alive—a blessing to us both—

And now let us pursue this villainy.

Enter ZAM WESELL, flying in a speeder. OBI-WAN and ANAKIN pursue her.

OBI-WAN

He flieth straight below, into a dive.

Take care when thou dost follow, lest we crash—

Thou knowest well thou mak’st me sore afraid.

ANAKIN

I had forgot you liketh not to fly.

OBI-WAN

’Tis not the flying, ’tis the suicide—

I would not make a death by accident.

See now, the knave hath struck the power coupling!

Nay, drive not through its beam, thou pilot wild.

[Anakin navigates the speeder through the power coupling’s beams.

ZAM

His skill at navigation is most sure,

Yet I’ll prevail and ’scape his keen pursuit.

[Zam flies into a tunnel. Anakin continues by a different path.

OBI-WAN

What hast thou done—he flew another way!

ANAKIN

Good Master, prithee listen to my plan:

This chase shall but result in his demise

Within a sharp, untimely, fiery end.

I would prefer to question him, and to

Discover wherefore he hath tried to kill

And who hath sent him here upon this chore.

I have employ’d a shorter path, methinks,

Which shall deliver him to us anon.

OBI-WAN

Yet where is he? It seems he hath been lost.

’Twas shorter, aye, for now we are made short:

Short of the villain we did hotly seek,

Who did fly by a pathway opposite.

Again, thou provest only that thou art—

ANAKIN

I bid thee, sir, excuse me. I must fly!

[Anakin jumps from the speeder in pursuit of Zam, who reappears below.

OBI-WAN

That rascal, he doth ever swagger so.

[Exit Obi-Wan.

ANAKIN

E’en with the traffic circling all around

’Tis quieter sans Obi-Wan’s harangues.

I spy him now, and on his speeder land!

The rogue is mine, and soon shall he be stopp’d.

ZAM

What is this, can it be? He boardeth me!

We shall yet see if he can keep his grip

When I do jostle him both here and there.

Mayhap I’ll ram him on a strong blockade,

Or let him feel another speeder’s thrust.

ANAKIN

I see the beast, and ’tis not he, but she!

If I have seen aright, in her distress

She chang’d her form. Our enemies may bring

Us trouble vast indeed, if they—like moons—

Are changeable. Now out, lightsaber, come:

Do thy swift work, unto the cockpit strike!

Yet she doth shoot at me, and from mine hand

Like captur’d bird my lightsaber doth fly.

ZAM

His weapon’s gone, but still he doth hold fast.

What’s this—he grasps mine hand, my blaster too,

We struggle—ah! Now all controls unto

My speeder are by laser’s strike destroy’d!

My ship doth fall, and quickly comes the street.

Into the crowds of passersby we fall.

[Zam’s speeder crashes onto the streets of Coruscant.

ANAKIN

I leap e’en now, my life thereby to keep.

[Anakin jumps from the speeder as it crashes.

ZAM

The speeder’s down, but still my feet may fly.

ANAKIN

What, ho! Stop now, thou rogue, for thou art mine!

[Exit Zam into a nightclub.

Enter OBI-WAN KENOBI.

OBI-WAN

Say, Anakin! ’Tis well that we have met,

For I did worry o’er thy safety. Now,

How goes the chase? Hast seen the roguish knave?

ANAKIN

Just fled into this club of ill repute.

Let us make entrance, bring the beast without.

OBI-WAN

I bid thee, patience, use the mighty Force.

Call on thine instincts, not thy taste for blood.

ANAKIN

Apologies, my master.

OBI-WAN

—He went in

To hide, and not to flee, or he’d be gone.

Belike ’tis not from us that he would run.

Behold, my Padawan, thy lightsaber,

Which went a’flying past my head as thou

Didst bravely fight the nasty criminal.

I caught it barely as it pass’d me by.

Mayhap in future battles thou shalt keep’t?

Remember, Anakin, this weapon may

The diff’rence be between thy life or death.

ANAKIN

I shall endeavor to recall your words.

OBI-WAN

Why is’t I feel thou shalt to me be death?

In some yet unknown place, some lonely star,

It may be that thou shalt, in future battle,

Make some mistake within the episode

That brings one death to me—or three or four.

ANAKIN

’Tis now your jests ring hollow on mine ears.

OBI-WAN

Our wits are misalign’d tonight, in troth.

ANAKIN

Speak not of some misfortune I would bring,

For you, dear sir, are like the father that

I ne’er did know, nor do, nor ever shall.

OBI-WAN

If this be so, wherefore attend me not?

ANAKIN

I try, my master, yet my youthful ears

Have learn’d to tune to sounds beyond your voice.

They enter the nightclub. Enter ZAM WESELL, hidden, and several CREATURES at the bar.

OBI-WAN

Dost thou see him herein?

ANAKIN

—Your “he” is “she,”

And more than that, a changeling.

OBI-WAN

—Is it so?

Then must we cautious be especially.

I prithee, go and find her where she hides.

ANAKIN

I shall indeed. But, sir, where are you bound?

OBI-WAN

Unto the bar—my whistle there to wet.

ANAKIN

[aside:] ’Tis not the time to drink, but shrewdly think.

[Exit Anakin. Obi-Wan approaches the bar.

Enter ELAN SLEAZEBAGGANO.

ELAN

Greetings, sir, allow me your pleasure to ensure,
for I’ve such wonders as shall act unto your soul as
surgeon. My death sticks, perhaps, you would care
to try—they are most belovèd by the population general.

You shall intoxicated by, ’tis my promise and warning.

[Obi-Wan uses a Jedi mind trick on Elan.

OBI-WAN

Thou dost not wish to sell death sticks to me.

ELAN

I’d not sell you these death sticks. Nay, not I.

OBI-WAN

Thou shalt go home, and there rethink thy life.

ELAN

I must go thither to rethink my life!

[Exit Elan.

Enter ANAKIN SKYWALKER.

ANAKIN

Where is the scoundrel? I must find her out.

Yet this dark club is so completely full

I could not find a bantha hiding here,

Much less an agile, shifty killer. Fie!

[Zam approaches Obi-Wan from behind.

ZAM

These Jedi have pursu’d me here, but one

Hath turn’d his full attention to the bar,

There to assuage his thirst. Aye, drink your fill—

For it shall be the last thy lips shall taste.

Step closer now, whilst he doth lap his cup,

And soon shall he imbibe my blaster’s fire.

[Obi-Wan turns around quickly, cutting off Zam’s hand with his lightsaber.

OBI-WAN

O, brutish fiend, thy villainy is done!

Let us go hence, and learn the total truth

Of thy most traitorous and awful deeds.

ANAKIN

[to onlookers:] Be ye at ease, this is a Jedi case.

Continue with your drinks—our mug is found.

[Exeunt creatures as Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Zam exit to the street.

OBI-WAN

[to Zam:] Dost thou know who it was thou tried
to kill?

ZAM

A senator, the one come from Naboo.

OBI-WAN

And who was it employ’d thee—speak thou true!

ZAM

’Twas but employment minor, nothing more.

Enter JANGO FETT on balcony.

JANGO

[aside:] Mine operative hath been caught, they have
found Zam. If I do not act swiftly, shall not be she
that’s found—it shall be I. Go to them, Zam, I’ll find
another underling. Forsooth, e’en from this moment

I’ll remember: if I will have a job done right, it shall
be done myself.

ANAKIN

I bid thee, tell us; all shall soon be well.

Aye, tell us now, else shalt thou feel my rage!

ZAM

It was a brutal bounty hunter nam’d—

[Jango Fett shoots Zam with a poisonous dart.

Weh shanit, sleemo—death is now my task.

[Zam dies. Exit Jango Fett.

ANAKIN

Our questions are not answer’d, yet again!

OBI-WAN

This toxic dart that made the killer’s end

Brings yet another question, which, in time,

May lead to answers. Patience, Padawan.

Let us return, and bring this news unto

The Jedi Council. They shall serve as guide—

Their wisdom shall be unto us supplied.

[Exeunt.

SCENE 4.

On the planet Coruscant, the Jedi temple and the freighter docks.

Enter OBI-WAN KENOBI, ANAKIN SKYWALKER, YODA, MACE WINDU, KI-ADI-MUNDI, and other MEMBERS OF THE JEDI COUNCIL.

YODA

These tidings ill are.

Track down this bounty hunter

You must, Obi-Wan.

MACE

This killer hath our back against the wall.

Be sure you do discover who it is

By whom the bounty hunter is employ’d.

OBI-WAN

And what of Amidala? She requires

E’en more protection than she had before.

YODA

Your Padawan, yea—

’Tis he shall escort her back,

Unto Naboo’s shores.

MACE

Young Anakin, take thou the senator,

Return unto her planet, e’en Naboo.

She shall be safer there, and furthermore:

Do the right thing and use a transport that

Is yet unregister’d. Thus may her foes

Find all her movements difficult to track.

ANAKIN

Yet as the senator doth claim her place

As leader of the opposition, it

Shall be most difficult to give sound cause

Why she must leave the capital anon.

Belike she shall refuse. What then, I pray?

YODA

Until this killer

Found hath been, our judgment true

Respect she must, hmm.

MACE

Go thou unto the Senate, Anakin,

There ask the chancellor, e’en Palpatine,

To plead our cause herein; ’tis strictly bus’ness.

[Exeunt Yoda, Mace, Ki-Adi-Mundi, Obi-Wan, and other Jedi Council members.

Enter CHANCELLOR PALPATINE.

ANAKIN

Wise Chancellor, you come in perfect time.

PALPATINE

Indeed?

ANAKIN

—The Jedi Council doth request

Your keen assistance in a matter most

Important to their cause and to my heart.

PALPATINE

Whate’er they ask, I do but live to serve.

ANAKIN

Would you speak to the lady senator,

E’en Amidala of Naboo, and ask

That she accept the Jedi’s sage advice

To make departure swift from Coruscant,

Returning to her home on small Naboo?

PALPATINE

[aside:] What fools these Jedi be! [To Anakin:]

Indeed I shall.

The senator shall in no wise refuse

Explicit order of th’executive.

Her character I understand enough

To give such reassurance unto thee.

ANAKIN

You have my gratitude, Your Excellence.

PALPATINE

Thus art thou finally assignment giv’n—

Thy patience all this time earns its reward.

ANAKIN

It is your guidance, which you nobly pay

To me, and have since I was but a boy,

That brings reward, e’en more than patience mine.

PALPATINE

Thou hast no need of guidance, Anakin.

In time, thy spirit shall make recompense

For any credit I have proffer’d thee

When thou hast learn’d to trust thy feelings true:

Forsooth, then shalt thou be invincible.

So have I laid my wager many times:

Of all the Jedi I have ever seen,

Thy treasure and thy skill exceed each one.

ANAKIN

Your words do humble me, Your Excellence.

PALPATINE

I have foreseen that thou shalt strong become,

Dear Anakin, beyond the Council—aye,

Beyond e’en Obi-Wan, Mace Windu, or,

If I may say: e’en Master Yoda too.

[Exit Palpatine.

ANAKIN

How doth this man speak words that seem to burn!

It is as though this Palpatine hath turn’d

To dragon: clad with scales against a strike,

Protecting him from ev’ry blast as though

They were of iron forg’d in flames of blue,

With forkèd tongue that traces ev’ry scent

Of fear upon his hapless enemies,

Such claws that are as sharp as blades of steel,

Design’d for tearing or to puncture flesh—

E’en to a person’s soul these knives may grasp,

A tail with which to sweep away his foes,

Such strength within as could an army face,

With broadest stroke may fell a mountaintop,

Behold, such wings of iridescent hue,

Equipping him to fly or flee at once,

To make attack or make escape at will.

Yet all these instruments of dragonhood

Are but the prologue to the savage fire

That scorcheth all when he doth ope his mouth!

Shall I the greatest Jedi ever be?

Is’t possible that I may yet exceed

The skill of Obi-Wan, or Yoda, too?

How like a blaze the dragon’s luring words

Do play their sparks and flashes on mine ears,

Do stoke the fierce inferno in mine heart.

Indeed, I would hear more of his hot speech,

For it doth warm my spirits through and through.

The dragon Palpatine doth fascinate:

He frightens and entices, both at once.

Yea, I admire his monster qualities

And would most gratefully be taught by him

How I may wake the dragon that’s within.

[Exit Anakin.

Enter YODA, MACE WINDU, and OBI-WAN KENOBI above, on balcony.

OBI-WAN

Concern’d I am for my young Padawan.

He is not ready this assignment to

Receive and undertake, not on his own.

YODA

The Council thinks not,

And utmost confidence hath

In its decision.

MACE

Incredible’s the talent of the boy.

OBI-WAN

Yet, Master, still he doth have much to learn.

’Tis true the boy hath vast abilities,

But they have made him somewhat arrogant.

YODA

Indeed, Obi-Wan,

A flaw growing common in

The Jedi order.

Too sure the Jedi,

Too sure of wisdom, of skill,

E’en the older ones.

MACE

I prithee, do remember, Obi-Wan:

If it may be the prophecy is true,

Then in the universe’s smelting pot—

Wherein our galaxy is bent and shap’d—

Your young apprentice is the iron man

Who shall forge balance in the Force again,

And fix our cause as metal ’gainst the dark.

[Exeunt Yoda, Mace, and Obi-Wan.

Enter ANAKIN SKYWALKER, PADMÉ, and JAR JAR BINKS.

PADMÉ

[to Jar Jar:] A leave of absence I must take anon,

And thou must in the Senate take my place.

Come, Jar Jar Binks, my representative:

I know I may on thy good judgment trust.

JAR JAR

O, meesa pleas’d to take this burthen,

Accept with muy humility.

PADMÉ

My thanks, kind Jar Jar. I’d not hold thee here—

Well do I know the urgent nature of

Thy vital new responsibilities.

JAR JAR

’Tis so, my lady. Now I goin’.

[Aside:] And shall do what I may to work for right!

[Exit Jar Jar.

PADMÉ

[to Anakin:] This Jedi plan, which is to hide in fear,

Doth not conform unto my strong desire—

To stay and show my strength, e’en ’gainst this threat.

ANAKIN

Fear not. The Council hath decreed that there

Shall be a full investigation; it

Shall not be long e’er Master Obi-Wan

Hath caught the worthless bounty hunter who

Hath order’d this attack upon thy life.

PADMÉ

Shall it be all for naught that I have work’d

This bygone year against the act that would

Create an army in Republic’s name?

Are all mine efforts so in vain that I

May not be present when its fate is seal’d?

It is as though I run a vital race

And in the final moments have been forc’d

To wander off the track and forfeit all.

’Tis more than just unfair, aye, ’tis unjust!

ANAKIN

At times we must our errant pride release

And do that which is ask’d of us instead.

PADMÉ

Thy words do sting, yet show that thou hast grown.

ANAKIN

My growth is still by Obi-Wan ignor’d.

Pray understand: the man’s a mentor true,

With wisdom like to Master Yoda’s wit,

With power like to Master Windu’s strength.

’Tis fortunate I his apprentice am.

Yet hear me now, judge thou mine honest boast:

In many matters I exceed the man.

Prepar’d I am the trials for to face,

Yet he believes me unpredictable

And shall not let my Jedi rank advance.

PADMÉ

Thou must in this a deep vexation find.

ANAKIN

’Tis worse than mere vexation. He gives more

Of criticism than I do deserve,

He lends opinion freely, but doth not

So willingly give ear to hear my words.

In troth: the man doth understand me not.

When I am thusly clipp’d, how may I grow?

PADMÉ

Hath bud e’er blossom’d sans the watchfulness

A gardener doth skillfully extend,

E’en when ’tis time to wield the pruning shears?

Our mentors see the worms, the quick decay,

The stems that in the wrong direction sprout—

They pluck where ’tis most needed, such that flow’rs

As we may bear our fragrance to the world.

ANAKIN

’Tis true, I know ’tis true—I have my weeds.

PADMÉ

So let thy beauty flourish in its time,

And seek thou not to force untimely growth.

ANAKIN

Yet I am fully grown, and would unfurl

My petals to the wind—and to thy notice.

PADMÉ

Look not upon me with such seedy eyes.

ANAKIN

And wherefore not?

PADMÉ

—It drives my bud to rot.

ANAKIN

Apology I give thee, worthy rose,

For bringing such a stench unto thy nose.

[Aside:] Thus have I planted root of love too soon.

Enter OBI-WAN KENOBI, CAPTAIN TYPHO, DORMÉ, and R2-D2.

TYPHO

Most worthy lady, time has come to leave.

I pray, be safe until we meet again.

PADMÉ

Kind Captain Typho, thanks, and take thou care

Of Dormé, for the threat now falls to you.

DORMÉ

He shall be safe with me.

PADMÉ

—Whence come these tears?

I’ll warrant thou shalt be kept well secure.

DORMÉ

’Tis not for me I weep—nay, ’tis for you,

And for the fear I feel for your own sake.

What if your enemies discover you

Have fled the capital back to Naboo?

PADMÉ

Then shall we see this Jedi prove his worth

And show the skill that shall protect my steps.

OBI-WAN

Good Anakin, a word before thou goest:

Do nothing sans the consultation of

The Jedi Council or myself. Dost hear?

ANAKIN

It shall be so, my master.

OBI-WAN

[to Padmé:]                         —Senator,

I shall unveil this vicious plot anon,

So shall you hither make return at once.

PADMÉ

I shall most grateful be for ev’ry speed

You may deliver, Master Obi-Wan.

ANAKIN

We must away.

PADMÉ

—I follow; lead thou on.

OBI-WAN

The Force be always with thee, Anakin.

ANAKIN

With you as well, good master mine. Adieu.

OBI-WAN

[to Typho:] I hope the boy shall nothing foolish try.

TYPHO

’Tis she, not he, who makes me worry, though:

The young may work our older nerves some woe.

[Exeunt Obi-Wan, Captain Typho, and Dormé.

PADMÉ

Upon the moment shakes mine heart with fear.

ANAKIN

My first assignment ’tis: I fear as well.

All shall be well, R2 shall keep us safe.

R2-D2

Beep squeak! [Aside:] He makes this comment as a jest,

Yet I shall offer them my very best.

[Exeunt.

SCENE 1.

On the planet Coruscant, in Dex’s Diner and the Jedi archives.

Enter OBI-WAN KENOBI, WA-7, and assorted diners.

WA-7

What ho, Dex, here’s a man to speak with you—

A Jedi, if his look doth not deceive.

Enter DEXTER JETTSTER.

DEXTER

By my six limbs, ’tis Obi-Wan Kenobi!

OBI-WAN

Good morrow, Dex, ’tis well to see thee!

DEXTER

—Yea!

I prithee, sit thee down and rest awhile.

I’ll come within thy radius anon.

WA-7

Would you enjoy some Jawa juice, good soul?

OBI-WAN

Indeed, thou hast my thanks.

DEXTER

[embracing him:]         —My longtime friend!

What knowledge may I arm thee with today?

OBI-WAN

I bid thee, Dex: pray tell, what’s this device?

[Obi-Wan shows Dexter the poisonous dart.

DEXTER

Zounds! Such a thing! I’ve not seen one of these

Since I did prospect on far Subterrel,

At the extremity of th’Outer Rim.

[WA-7 serves Obi-Wan his Jawa juice.

OBI-WAN

And dost thou know, then, whence it comes? [To WA-7:]

My thanks.

DEXTER

This little thing, no more than pinkie’s length,

Belongs to cloners, they who live far off.

’Tis known as a Kamino saberdart.

OBI-WAN

Yet when I put it to analysis,

Our archives knew naught. Wherefore, wonder I?

DEXTER

These cuts upon the side, these members here,

Do tell the story of their genesis.

The droids that analyze such things but look

For symbols. Thus, they may not heed such grooves.

O, shame, good Obi-Wan! I would have thought

The Jedi would exhibit more respect

Toward the difference that one may find

Twixt knowledge and its older sister: wisdom.

OBI-WAN

Yea, yet if droids could think we’d all be lost,

Trapp’d in an abject matrix of machines.

But to the point: Kamino is a name

With which I’m unfamiliar. Doth it lie

Within the fair Republic’s boundaries?

DEXTER

Nay, ’tis beyond the fingertips of our

Republic, far beyond the Outer Rim.

Belike twelve parsecs past the Rishi Maze.

It should be simple to discover it,

E’en for those archive droids of thine, my friend.

Be wary, though, Kaminoans unto

Their own do keep—their own that multiply,

For they are cloners, sharply skill’d to boot.

OBI-WAN

These cloners, are they like to act as friends?

DEXTER

That doth depend. If I could future tell,

Or read the meaning to be found in palms,

Thou’dst find this Dex not in this diner here.

OBI-WAN

Well do I know. But thou hast said “depend”—

Depend on what, thou jolly knave? Speak on.

DEXTER

On how thou dost comport thyself, good man,

On whether they do feel they’ve elbow room

To test the limits of thy pocketbook.

OBI-WAN

My thanks, dear friend, thou art a helping hand.

[Exeunt Dexter, WA-7, and restaurant patrons as Obi-Wan leaves the diner.

A mystery’s afoot, with clues but scant.

We Jedi are protectors, wise and true,

Sent forth to champion Republic’s cause.

Detective work hath rarely been my call,

Yet now I find myself embroil’d in this

Most strange and enigmatic happening.

A poison’d dart, and hints of distant cloners:

These are the smatterings with which I must

Make sense of an obscure conspiracy.

The late attack upon the senator

Hath pointed to the bounty hunter fled.

The bounty hunter’s instrument of death

Doth point toward Kamino, far remov’d.

This foreign planet, of which I know naught,

Points me unto the Jedi archives now.

Mayhap ’tis thither I shall answers find.

Enter JOCASTA NU, as OBI-WAN KENOBI enters the Jedi archives.

JOCASTA

Let me my full assistance proffer, sir.

OBI-WAN

Indeed, I’d be most grateful if thou wouldst.

JOCASTA

Belike, Master Kenobi, you are here

Replete with questions dancing in your mind,

A problem truly difficult to solve?

Reveal it unto me; I’ll give you aid.

OBI-WAN

In this thou speakest well, for I do seek

A planetary system call’d Kamino.

No system thus nam’d holds the archive charts.

[Obi-Wan and Jocasta approach an archive computer.

JOCASTA

Such name I’ve never heard in all my years—

Are you most sure of its coordinates?

Review, I bid you, what you have been told.

OBI-WAN

Expected I the unknown planet should

Appear within this quadrant—yea, e’en here—

Which lieth just below the Rishi Maze.

JOCASTA

Except no system doth appear therein,

So it doth not exist: it must be thus.

OBI-WAN

O, marry, ’tis impossible, methinks—

Mayhap the archives are but incomplete.

JOCASTA

Existence hath it none declare the archives!

[Exit Jocasta.

OBI-WAN

The trail runs even colder, if indeed

The system I most keenly seek doth hide.

Perchance a wisdom far beyond mine own

Can help uncover what I would reveal.

Thus, onward, Obi-Wan, and Yoda seek—

Mayhap his sage, calm intellect may find

The answer to which I am thus far blind.

[Exit.

SCENE 2.

On the freighter to Naboo and on the planet Naboo.

Enter PADMÉ, ANAKIN SKYWALKER, R2-D2, A SERVING DROID, and ASSORTED PASSENGERS.

DROID

[to R2-D2:] Go hence, thou brutish knave, we serve
no droids!

[Exit serving droid.

R2-D2

[aside:] Belike he would appreciate

A serving of my fury on his pate.

We droids are e’er revil’d, e’en by our own—

Thus must I toil each hour to prove my worth

And show the noble soul that lies within.

[To Padmé:] Beep, whistle, meep.

PADMÉ

—Mine humble thanks, R2.

[To Anakin:] What thinkest thou, is’t difficult to hand

Thy life entire unto the Jedi order?

Thus mayst thou never visit where you like,

Nor things thou dost enjoy engage withal.

ANAKIN

Indeed, or be with those I truly love.

PADMÉ

Yet doth the Jedi code allow for love?

Methought that love was for the Jedi bann’d,

Forbidden by the order. Is’t not so?

ANAKIN

Attachment is prohibited, ’tis true.

Possession is prohibited as well.

Compassion, though—love unconditional—

Is central to a Jedi’s ev’ry step.

Thus from a certain point of view it may

Be said we are encourag’d to spread love.

PADMÉ

’Tis clear the words I spoke before did err,

The boy I knew those years ago is gone,

For thou hast chang’d so much in time’s swift stride.

ANAKIN

Yet thou art constant as the rising sun:

Unchanging, faithful, bringing light to all.

Thou art as I bethink thee in my dreams.

PADMÉ

[aside:] Such dreams of me he doth with ease confess,

Which doth both shock and move my lonely heart.

ANAKIN

Behold, it is thine home, for we arrive

Upon the verdant shores of sweet Naboo.

[Exeunt passengers as Padmé, Anakin, and R2-D2 make their way to the court of Naboo.

PADMÉ

My mother country, land where I was born—

Each time I see her, I am all delight.

ANAKIN

Thou heardest of my dreams, my lady—tell

Me, what was it like to be queen of Naboo?

PADMÉ

Though I was very young, I was not yet

The youngest queen elected in Naboo.

Yet as I do look back, I wonder if

I was prepar’d the task to undertake.

Belike I was not old enough to bear

The onerous responsibility.

ANAKIN

And yet thy loyal people do believe

That thou didst serve them well. Did they not move

To so amend the law that thou couldst stay

A longer time as their belovèd queen?

PADMÉ

It was relief beyond all measure when

My double term was up and I was free.

When our new-minted queen did call on me

To serve the Senate, I could not refuse.

ANAKIN

Aye, she did judge aright, for sorely doth

Th’Republic need strong voices such as thine.

It pleaseth me that thou didst choose to serve,

As I work t’ward the fair Republic’s good.

Enter QUEEN JAMILLIA, SIO BIBBLE, and MEMBERS OF THE NABOO COURT.

PADMÉ

My queen, your humble servant hath arriv’d,

And swiftly shall I give you my report:

The vote is near and shall be ta’en anon.

I fear that if the senators do vote

To make an army in Republic’s name,

We’ll see a period of civil war.

SIO

It must not be! We’ve not seen war to such

Degree since our Republic first was form’d.

JAMILLIA

Do you see any way, good Senator,

That we through some negotiation may

Convince the sep’ratists to end this threat,

And join, once more, into th’Republic fold?

PADMÉ

If they feel threaten’d, they shall never join

The flock, but go astray like errant sheep.

They shall flee to the Commerce Guilds or to

Trade federations, which shall shepherd them.

SIO

This bleating must be stopp’d—outrageous ’tis!

Yet after trials four within the court

Supreme, Nute Gunray still doth wield his staff

As viceroy of the Federation. Fie!

I fear the Senate is too far afield,

All powerless this crisis to resolve.

JAMILLIA

We must, as lambs, look to the larger herd

And keep faith that our brave Republic shall

Know how to guide this situation right.

The day when we are shorn of our belief

In strong democracy, upon that day

It shall be lost to us eternally.

PADMÉ

In all mine orisons I pray that day

May never come, your noble Majesty.

JAMILLIA

Meanwhile your welfare here is paramount.

SIO

Good Master Jedi, what can you suggest

The senator’s defense to guarantee?

PADMÉ

He is no Jedi yet, but Padawan.

Methought—

ANAKIN

—A Padawan, but I may speak.

PADMÉ

Yet out of turn, remem’bring not thy place.

Methought nearby the lakes I could reside,

By country veil’d in isolation full.

There shall I be most safe—

ANAKIN

—Thy pardon, ma’am,

Yet I am charg’d with thy security.

PADMÉ

This is mine home, I know it better still—

We have come here so I may hide within.

It would be wise if thou’dst advantage take

Of all the knowledge I may bring to bear.

ANAKIN

Apologies, my lady, I misspoke.

JAMILLIA

Well then, ’tis settl’d—go upon thy way,

May Fate wind cords of safety ’round you both.

[Exeunt all but Anakin.

ANAKIN

Now have I lost my lady’s heart? Nay, nay,

E’en though I press too hard, it is not so.

Vainglorious, O Anakin, art thou,

E’er with a childlike temper, quick to rev,

Resulting in my lady’s cutting glance.

Get hence, O boyish pride, else she shall snub

Our ev’ry hope for love’s most warm embrace.

Ne’er show the petulance she just did see,

Ne’er flash the anger that doth boil within,

Arrest the beast and bring the man to bear,

Give her the love you bore your mother, Shmi.

If this may be, our hearts shall sing in sync,

Voic’d with such beauty as to make heav’n talk—

Eternal blessings in my lover’s ear.

Yet rush thou not impulsively thereto!

O, Anakin, be ever in control:

Unveil to her a gentle, caring soul,

Until she knows that you may trusted be—

Pace thou the course of love as it doth need.

[Exit.

SCENE 3.

On the planet Coruscant, in the Jedi temple.

Enter YODA, OBI-WAN KENOBI, and several PADAWAN YOUNGLINGS.

YODA

Reach out, sense the Force,

Yea: around ye always ’tis,

Use feelings ye must.

Pray younglings, attend!

A visitor hither comes:

Master Obi-Wan.

PADAWANS

Good morrow to you, Master Obi-Wan.

OBI-WAN

Receive my greeting back, ye younglings small:

O’er ev’ry challenge may you swiftly rise,

And I do wish you all a merry day.

Now pray, forgive my brief disturbance, Master.

YODA

’Tis no disturbance,

But occasion for learning.

What help may I be?

OBI-WAN

I seek a planet, which a trusted friend

Hath told me of. His words I think not false,

Yet no such system shows on th’archive’s maps.

YODA

Mmm, a planet whole

Master Obi-Wan hath lost.

Such embarrassment!

[To a youngling:] Liam, I prithee,

Draw the shades that we may see

The map diagram.

Now, your minds clear ye,

And together shall we find

This wayward planet.

[The lights dim as a map of the galaxy is projected before them.

OBI-WAN

It should be here, by his coordinates,

Yet as you plainly see, naught there is found.

Still, gravity doth work its constant pull

Upon the stars throughout the area,

All focus’d on this empty-seeming place.

YODA

Gravity’s shadow—

Yet no star and no planets

Are there to cast it.

Disappear’d they have,

Or so, at least, it seemeth.

How may’t be, younglings?

PADAWAN 1

Good Master Yoda, is it possible

That someone clear’d the archive’s memory?

YODA

Ha, ha! Forsooth, ’tis!

The minds of children amaze—

The Padawan has’t.

Once th’impossible

Hath been eliminated,

What remains is truth.

Fly hence, Obi-Wan,

Unto gravity’s center:

Your planet awaits.

Although unlikely,

The data you seek eras’d

Must be, warrant I.

OBI-WAN

Yet who might have the power to remove

This information from the archives, sir?

Methought such mischief was impossible.

YODA

This puzzle is most

Dangerous and disturbing.

Verily, ’tis true:

Only Jedi could

Remove such information,

Delete any files.

Yet who and wherefore,

This harder to answer is.

I’ll meditate on’t.

OBI-WAN

My thanks, good Master. I shall fly to see

What lies within, pull’d there by gravity.

[Exeunt.

SCENE 4.

On the planet Naboo, at the lake retreat.

Enter ANAKIN SKYWALKER and PADMÉ.

ANAKIN

This place is passing beautiful, beyond

What I had e’er imagin’d possible.

PADMÉ

I hither came when I was yet a child,

And would unto that island thither swim,

My fellow students and my friends withal.

’Twas there, within the water’s cool embrace,

I felt at home, unburthen’d by my cares.

Upon the sand we all would haply lie,

And let the sun take ev’ry drop from us.

There, with my good companions, as we lay

And nam’d the singing birds by our own whims,

I was at peace—vast peace beyond compare.

ANAKIN

For me the sand hath never been a balm—

On Tatooine we are encumber’d by

Too much of its most coarse and unkind touch.

It is an ever-present irritant,

Not like the peaceful sands of thy Naboo.

Here all is soft, like cheeks upon a babe,

And smooth as sculpted alabaster too.

[He touches her arm. They kiss.

PADMÉ

Nay, it must not be so. I prithee, go—

Forget this most impulsive incident.

ANAKIN

The fault is mine: thy pardon, pray, bestow.

In twain mine overeager heart is rent.

[Exit Anakin.

PADMÉ

Shall these fair shores of my sweet home Naboo

Become the setting for a tale of love?

This Anakin doth fully dote on me,

And mayhap hath since he was but a boy.

I know not how to meet his earnest love:

The Jedi’s fond attention doth confuse

The purpose of my senatorial will.

His eyes, which burrow deep within my soul,

Do shake the congress of my prudent wits

And thus disturb my nature politic.

His smile, which doth bring light past all degree,

Doth govern o’er my senses when it shines.

His spirit—vulnerable, sweet, and kind—

Doth stand before me like a man condemn’d

As though ’twere I who could his pardon grant.

In these perplexing moments doth mine heart

Quite nearly my shrewd reason overthrow,

Until I would unto a court of law

Present myself, and there with strength declare

That all my being hath election made

And nam’d him master of mine humble state.

But soft, this cannot be. I may not so

Forget myself as to be movèd by

The sweet campaigning of a lover’s kiss.

There is a season for the heart’s desires,

Which is but out of season presently.

This moment of the Senate’s urgent need

Doth hold no place for sighs of fickle love.

I am resolv’d to play the senator,

Fastidious unto th’Republic’s cause.

Though Anakin writes me a lover’s role,

Henceforth I must perform a wiser part

And let the head take office o’er the heart.

[Exit.

SCENE 5.

Tipoca City on the planet Kamino.

Enter RUMOR.

RUMOR

Unwittingly the lovers miss the mark,

Naïve whilst Rumor whispers in their ears.

Veil’d by confusion that doth lead to dark,

E’en such a one as Anakin hath fears.

Indeed, his heart is temper’d by cruel fire:

Love may come forth, but shall by him be spoil’d.

Eventu’lly, as Rumor doth conspire,

Deep in mistrust their love shall be embroil’d.

In this doth Rumor ply her merry wiles:

Suspicion in their minds e’er I foment.

Kenobi, meanwhile, searcheth on for miles,

Aye, to my puckish will shall he be bent.

Misunderstanding what it is he seeks,

In truth he shall find more than he expects.

Now hurriedly he to Kamino sneaks,

Oblivious to Rumor’s web complex.

[Exit Rumor.

Enter OBI-WAN KENOBI with the droid R4-P17.

OBI-WAN

Unto the hidden system I have come;

As Master Yoda guess’d, it doth exist.

A ship, a droid, and the coordinates

Reveal a planet that hath tried to hide.

The secret system is not empty, nay,

And gravity hath told a story true:

Mysterious Kamino doth appear.

Pray let us go, R4, and learn its tale.

My scan reveals a settlement below,

We shall make landing there, whate’er befall.

This driving rain brings tiding of some ill—

What doth this fury of the skies portend?

[The ship lands on the planet’s surface.

R4-P17

Bleep, zing?

OBI-WAN

—I pray, remain here with the ship.

[Exit R4-P17 as Obi-Wan enters the cloning facility.

Enter TAUN WE.

TAUN WE

Good Master Jedi, salutations, sir.

Our high prime minister sends his regards.

OBI-WAN

I am expected? [Aside:] ’Tis impossible!

TAUN WE

Indeed, ’tis well to meet you in our home,

Since we so long have been in touch with you.

OBI-WAN

Such wondrous mysteries I find herein!

TAUN WE

Give us but time, and you shall have yet more.

Come now, and I shall show you on your way.

They approach another chamber. Enter LAMA SU.

Our high prime minister, e’en Lama Su.

OBI-WAN

My greetings—for this welcome I give thanks.

TAUN WE

[to Lama Su:] I hope from now you shall more
better know…

OBI-WAN

My name is Obi-Wan Kenobi, sir.

LAMA SU

I trust your visit here is worth its length.

So we may then proceed with business:

All is on schedule, as it hath been plann’d.

Two hundred thousand we may give you now;

A million further we may proffer soon.

OBI-WAN

’Tis well. You make a suitable report.

LAMA SU

Our thanks deliver we in multitudes.

Let Master Sifo-Dyas be at peace:

All things run to completion in their time.

OBI-WAN

[aside:] A name far past. [To Lama Su:] Say,

Sifo-Dyas, sir?

LAMA SU

A leader of the Jedi Council, aye?

OBI-WAN

With spirit grave I must make this report:

The Jedi Master Sifo-Dyas hath

Been dead for lo this decade gone and past.

LAMA SU

More sorry I, for he would be most proud—

The army we have built for him’s immense.

OBI-WAN

An army? Did he say whom it was for?

LAMA SU

To strengthen the Republic noble’s cause.

OBI-WAN

Pray, may I see this army for myself?

’Tis wherefore I have to Kamino come.

TAUN WE

’Tis our delight, pray, let us thither go.

[Obi-Wan, Lama Su, and Taun We begin touring the clone facility.

LAMA SU

This vast clone army we have built may be

The best that we have e’er created yet.

The clones themselves can think creatively,

Thus are they unto droids superior,

Their combat training is our greatest strength.

The group you see below is five years old,

Though you shall see they older do appear—

’Tis growth acceleration makes it so.

To speed their growth is indispensable;

Thus clones may be mature in far less time

Than if we were to wait a lifetime full:

’Tis done in half the time with this technique.

The clones are utterly obedient:

They take the orders giv’n sans questioning.

Their genes have through our toil been modified

To take away the independence from

The host, the subject, the original:

The bounty hunter known as Jango Fett.

To keep him safe, he liveth here, with us.

The only thing he did of us demand—

That is, apart from his most ample pay—

’Twas to receive a clone that he could keep:

True and unalter’d, not made pliable,

The replicate exact of his own genes,

Touch’d not by an accelerated growth:

This clone he raiseth as a cherish’d son.

OBI-WAN

I should delight to meet this Jango Fett.

May such a meeting be arrang’d?

TAUN WE

’Tis our delight, pray, let us thither go.

[She leads him to Jango Fett’s chamber.

Enter JANGO FETT and BOBA FETT.

OBI-WAN

Are you the bounty hunter Jango Fett?

I am a Jedi, Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Your clones are most remarkable, sirrah.

Methinks you must be very proud, indeed.

JANGO

Pride is a misstep on which one may easily slip. For
my part, I am but a humble man who seeks to wend
his way through the galaxy—I’ve no pride thereof.

OBI-WAN

Hath your e’er-wending way led you as far

Into th’interior as Coruscant?

JANGO

E’en once, mayhap twice.

OBI-WAN

’Twas once and twice and mayhap recently?

JANGO

Recently is possible—would that I could remember.

OBI-WAN

For certain, then, you must familiar be

With Jedi Master Sifo-Dyas, aye?

JANGO

[to Boba:] Ka Boba, rood eht so-heeck. [To Obi-Wan:]

O, Master who?

[Boba shuts a door, hiding Jango’s bounty hunter uniform.

OBI-WAN

The name is Sifo-Dyas. Was’t not he

Who for this cloning task employ’d you here?

JANGO

Ne’er have I heard tell of the man.

OBI-WAN

But are you sure he is not known to you?

JANGO

Dear sir, mine employment came from one who was

Tyranus call’d. E’en on a moon of Bogden did he
make arrangement for to hire me.

OBI-WAN

Your words do run from strange to stranger, yea.

JANGO

Your questions at an end, now I shall ask:

Do you approve of this strong army?

OBI-WAN

I shall delight to see what they can do.

JANGO

They shall perform aright, e’en to the last.

Of that you may be sure, too.

OBI-WAN

I thank you, Jango, for this dialogue.

JANGO

Indeed, the thanks is mine—’tis e’er my pleasure
to make acquaintance with a Jedi. [Aside:] Now
we must flee, for time doth quickly run.

[Exeunt Jango and Boba.

OBI-WAN

I have uncover’d ev’rything at last.

[To Taun and Lama:] I bid ye now give me my leave
to go

And make report unto the Jedi Council.

Our Jedi Master, Yoda, will delight

To hear the progress you have made herein.

LAMA SU

To strengthen the Republic noble’s cause,

The army we have built for him’s immense.

OBI-WAN

I shall reveal to him what I have seen—

He shall regret he did not see’t himself.

LAMA SU

More sorry I, for he would be most proud—

A leader of the Jedi Council, aye.

OBI-WAN

Regret I Master Sifo-Dyas could

Not be here to bear witness to your fruits.

LAMA SU

All things run to completion in their time:

Let Master Sifo-Dyas be at peace.

OBI-WAN

His memory you honor, Minister.

LAMA SU

Our thanks deliver we in multitudes:

A million further we may proffer soon,

Two hundred thousand we may give you now.

OBI-WAN

And we return those thanks to thee, kind sir.

We shall make contact soon, with further orders.

LAMA SU

All is on schedule, as it hath been plann’d.

So we may then proceed with business?

OBI-WAN

Forsooth, your operation’s well in hand.

LAMA SU

I trust your visit here is worth its length.

OBI-WAN

Indeed, it hath been most enlightening.

[Exit Lama Su.

TAUN WE

I hope from now you shall more better know

Our high prime minister, e’en Lama Su.

Come now, and I shall show you on your way.

OBI-WAN

Much gratitude for all you’ve shown me here—

The soldiers you have made impress me quite.

TAUN WE

Give us but time, and you shall have yet more.

OBI-WAN

I understand. You have mine utmost thanks.

TAUN WE

Since we so long have been in touch with you,

Indeed, ’tis well to meet you in our home.

OBI-WAN

Your hospitality hath been most kind.

TAUN WE

Our high prime minister sends his regards.

Good Master Jedi, salutations, sir.

[Exit Taun We.

OBI-WAN

Thus what was hidden now hath been reveal’d,

Though its significance is yet conceal’d.

[Exit.

SCENE 1.

On the planet Naboo, at the lake retreat.

Enter PADMÉ and ANAKIN SKYWALKER.

ANAKIN

Come, come, thou wasp: thine hidden secret shout.

PADMÉ

If I be waspish, best beware my sting.

ANAKIN

My remedy is, then, to pluck it out.

PADMÉ

If thou shalt pluck, I shall not tell the thing.

In sooth, I do not know.

ANAKIN

—Methinks thou dost.

PADMÉ

Wilt thou perhaps a Jedi’s trick employ,

And plunder all my thoughts with ruse unjust?

ANAKIN

Nay, with such base tricks I’d not thee annoy.

Besides, such mind games would not work on thee,

For they are only us’d upon the weak.

PADMÉ

If thou shalt not be touch’d by jealousy,

I’ll give to thee the answer thou dost seek.

Of my first kiss may this small tale be sung:

Mine age was twelve, and he was Palo nam’d.

A legislative program for the young

Did mark the place where first my lips were tam’d.

A handsome boy, and older by some years,

With raven’s eyes and curly hair of brown.

ANAKIN

Thou hast spoke long enough to burn mine ears.

So what of him? How did he let you down?

What was his error or his fatal blunder?

Or was it he whose interest did fade?

Aye, wert thou maid or unmade? O, you wonder!

PADMÉ

No wonder, nay; but certainly a maid.

To public service my direction led,

Whilst he became an artist in Naboo.

ANAKIN

Mayhap ’twas he who acted with his head.

PADMÉ

Thou dost not care for politicians, true?

ANAKIN

Nay, there are two or three I do prefer—

They are an ample feast to suit my taste.

There is one dish of which I’m yet unsure,

Whose flavor is with zest and spices lac’d.

Yet, by my troth, I think the system broken:

’Tis not the cogs, but ’tis the whole machine.

PADMÉ

How should it run, if in thy words ’twere spoken?

ANAKIN

They all should sit together and convene—

Discussing ev’ry matter of the state—

And make agreement as to what is best

For ev’ry creature, whether small or great:

Then on their findings should their actions rest.

PADMÉ

Yea, as thou just hast said we surely do,

Yet trouble comes when all cannot agree.

ANAKIN

Then those who disagree are most untrue,

And must be made to sing in common key.

PADMÉ

By whom? Which choirmaster wouldst thou name?

ANAKIN

Someone who would conduct the group aright.

PADMÉ

Wouldst thou hold that baton?

ANAKIN

—’Twas not my claim.

PADMÉ

Then someone else?

ANAKIN

—Aye, someone wise, with might.

PADMÉ

Thy tune doth sound most like dictatorship.

ANAKIN

If it would work, I’d sing its melody.

PADMÉ

Thou mockest me, I see it in thy lip.

ANAKIN

Nay, I intend no sharp disharmony.

’Twould be unwise a senator to mock,

For mockingbirds do whistle scornful airs.

PADMÉ

Your sly refrain upon mine heart doth knock,

And helpeth to unburthen me from cares.

Enter a herd of SHAAKS.

ANAKIN

[aside:] My love, my joy, my senator, my queen!

To hear her laugh doth set my soul to sigh.

What light is light, if Padmé be not seen?

What joy is joy, if Padmé be not by?

[To Padmé:] Let us have sport, and merry make the day.

PADMÉ

These beasts are beautiful, yet can be rough.

May Jedi over such as these hold sway?

ANAKIN

Methinks my skill and strength shall be enough.

[Anakin jumps onto a shaak and begins riding it.

PADMÉ

Behold how like its master thou dost ride!

Forsooth, thou hast a senator impress’d.

ANAKIN

The creature is with vigor well supplied,

And by some rage it now doth seem possess’d.

[The shaak throws Anakin to the ground.

PADMÉ

My strong protector, O, mine Anakin!

My soul did cry as I beheld his fall.

[Padmé runs to Anakin. Exeunt shaaks.

Speak thou, good Ani, hast thou injur’d been?

Be thou not broken by this creature’s gall.

ANAKIN

Ha, ha, my chuck, I do but jest by schemes.

And yet thine eyes—they show thy care unfurl’d,

They are the books, the arts, the academes,

That show, contain, and nourish all the world.

PADMÉ

By heav’n, I am reliev’d that thou art well:

The fear that shook me so is turn’d to joy.

ANAKIN

Be not afeard, or if thou art, then tell—

Together we shall all thy fears destroy.

PADMÉ

Thou art my safeguard strong, my Jedi Knight.

Now since thou art yet whole, say: shall we dine?

ANAKIN

To follow all thy steps brings me delight—

If ’tis your will to eat, then it is mine.

[They proceed to a table to sup.

PADMÉ

What canst thou say that shall my mirth arouse?

ANAKIN

Mayhap this need-born phrase we Jedi say—

A technique we from time to time espouse—

“Determinèd negotiations,” yea.

PADMÉ

Determinèd negotiations, what?

What doth it mean, for I’ve not heard of it?

ANAKIN

It doth imply negotiations, but:

Those manag’d by a lightsaber, to wit.

[Aside:] I know I love in vain, no hope thereof;

Yet in this captious and intenible sieve

I still pour in the waters of my love—

It is the very hope for which I live.

Now bring the Force upon this happy scene,

I shall employ its pow’r my lass to tease.

[Anakin uses the Force to lift a pear and bring it to him.

PADMÉ

Such tricks do render all my thoughts serene.

ANAKIN

’Tis well, they’d not put Obi-Wan at ease.

[He cuts a slice of pear and, using the Force, passes it to her.

PADMÉ

This fruit thou sendest me the Force withal

Shall fall most pleasantly upon my lips.

The thanks I render thee are far too small

To quite express what from my spirit slips.

Pretty and witty, wild, and yet, too, gentle:

Thou fashion’d art of paradox, in part.

Yet such faint praise can be but detrimental

Unto the noble man thou truly art.

Thou art a treasur’d and a worthy friend,

Protector of my life, though all unplann’d.

If things were chang’d, perhaps love would transcend

And tame my wild heart to thy loving hand.

ANAKIN

The closer we become, the more I ache,

To be sans you would steal my very breath.

The kiss thou gave, which I did gladly take,

Doth move upon my passions as a death.

Can I go forward when my heart is here,

The heart that thou, with lips, have turn’d to scar?

Thou art a specter, ghost to my good cheer,

Tormenting me by haunting pow’r bizarre.

What may I do? What shall I say to thee?

What speech will exorcise your maiden doubt

And turn the spirit of your love to me?

But speak the word: thy servant is devout.

PADMÉ

Love like a shadow flies, pursu’d too soon.

ANAKIN

Is’t possible that thou dost long for me?

If thou dost suffer love, then ’tis a boon:

But say ’tis so and we may joinèd be.

PADMÉ

We two may not within one love be knit.

For love is blind and lovers cannot see

The pretty follies that themselves commit.

How pretty would such follies in us be?

It is not possible.

ANAKIN

—O, say not so!

The course of true love never did run smooth.

What blossom without weeds did ever grow?

I prithee listen, let my reason soothe.

This bud of love, by Naboo’s ripening breath,

May prove a beauteous flower of which we’ll boast.

PADMÉ

Nay, thou shalt listen, my soul warranteth:

The tempter or the tempted, who sins most?

The vision thou dost proffer suits us not,

Thine honor nor my station, neither one.

Reality it seems thou hast forgot,

For us to love would mean us both undone.

Thou art a Jedi, I a senator,

If thou wouldst follow thy thoughts to their end

Then wouldst thou with my judgment straight concur:

I am not made for lover, but for friend.

This must be so, regardless how we feel,

And how our passions move toward each other.

ANAKIN

There thou hast given thy confession real:

Thou lovest me—we yearn for one another!

PADMÉ

Thy future I would never take from thee,

And thus oppose the thread of Fate’s design.

I pray thee, do not fall in love with me,

For I am falser than vows made in wine.

ANAKIN

And yet thou ask’st that which I may not do:

To speak mine heart as though it were my mind.

Would that I mine affection could eschew,

And change as quickly as the moon unkind.

Yet ’tis not so.

PADMÉ

—I shall not bow to this:

The pressure and the childish, nagging voice.

Thy love, and not thy spite, should meet my kiss.

ANAKIN

Belike there is, as yet, another choice.

Mayhap in some enclosèd, private place,

We could agree to meet and be as one.

There could I see the beauty of thy face,

Our secret safe, we would not be undone.

PADMÉ

Yet would this render all our days a lie,

A lie our souls would never let us keep.

Thou couldst not live in such a way, nor I—

Our love by such a bargain is made cheap.

Thou couldst not want that, couldst thou, Anakin?

I know that thou art made of better stuff.

ANAKIN

Indeed, it would destroy us both therein.

Thou hast o’errul’d my passion well enough.

Alas, there’s some ill galaxy that reigns,

I must be patient till the heavens look

With an aspect more favorable. Chains

Would be more comfort than this hope forsook.

[Exit Anakin.

PADMÉ

O, time! Thou must untangle this, not I;

It is too hard a knot for me t’untie.

[Exit Padmé.

SCENE 2.

Tipoca City, on the planet Kamino.

Enter OBI-WAN KENOBI.

OBI-WAN

For answers to Kamino did I come,

And such I did receive in quantities:

Two hundred thousand answers met me here.

Yet with this army comes more questions on—

What was it Sifo-Dyas hop’d to do?

And who is this Tyranus Fett speaks of?

I must make contact with the Council next!

Enter R4-P17.

R4-P17

Blip, whoop.

OBI-WAN

—R4, I bid thee set code five

For Coruscant, care of the elders’ home.

Enter YODA and MACE WINDU on balcony.

Good Masters, I’ve establish’d contact with

Kamino, and with its prime minister.

They use a bounty hunter, Jango Fett,

And by him build an army made from clones.

Mine instincts do inform me Jango Fett

Is e’en the selfsame bounty hunter who

Would be assassin of the senator.

MACE

Do you believe the cloners are involv’d

In this nerfar’ous plot? I’ll fly away

Myself to work them woe if it be so.

OBI-WAN

Nay, Master, for they could not gain thereby.

YODA

Avoid assumption,

Obi-Wan, we need your mind

Most open to be.

When clear are your thoughts,

Discovery of villains

In this plot follows.

OBI-WAN

Indeed, good Master. They did make report

That Master Sifo-Dyas was the one

Who did request an army of the clones.

This deed he did perform ten years ago,

Upon request of the Galactic Senate.

Yet ’twas my memory that he was kill’d

Ere then—say, did the Council authorize

Creation of an army led by clones?

MACE

Nay, nay. Whoe’er it was the order plac’d

Hath drunk a juice the Council did not serve.

YODA

If you can bring him,

This bounty hunter vicious,

Question him we will.

OBI-WAN

Indeed, I shall report when he is mine.

[Exeunt Obi-Wan and R4-P17.

YODA

Most blind we have been,

If this army’s creation

We ne’er did foresee.

MACE

Belike ’tis time to tell the Senate that

The Council’s aptitude to use the Force

Hath been diminish’d; aye, in the extreme.

A shock to th’system this indeed shall be,

Yet pride is worse than deep humility.

YODA

Only one, e’en he—

The vile dark lord of the Sith—

Knoweth our weakness.

If, then, the Senate

Of this fault are giv’n to know,

Our enemies grow.

[Exeunt.

SCENE 3.

On the planet Naboo.

Enter ANAKIN SKYWALKER.

ANAKIN

What nightmares viciously infect my mind?

My mother, gracious woman, kind and sweet—

She cries for me as though rack’d by some plague,

By some disease or deadly pestilence

She hath been set upon—O, mother dear!

Thine agony resounds throughout my soul

And doth contaminate my better self.

So sleep is vanish’d all too suddenly

And I do rise too early in the night,

As doth the bile that rises in my soul.

Enter PADMÉ.

PADMÉ

Thou hast not slept aright these many nights,

If thou wouldst rest anon, I’ll give thee peace.

ANAKIN

Thy presence doth turn wrongs into their rights,

’Tis peace itself and brings my mind release.

PADMÉ

Thou had a visitation of a spirit—

A demon of the night to work you woe.

If thou wouldst fain recount, I’d haply hear it,

And share the pain that thou dost undergo.

ANAKIN

A Jedi should be strong, with nightmares none.

PADMÉ

I heard thee in the night, most piteous.

ANAKIN

It was my mother: weak, distress’d, undone,

The vision rank was passing venomous.

Yet there is more: ’tis not just boyish fright—

My mother suffering, which I did see,

The sounds and scenes that came to me by night

Are echoes of some present misery.

She was as plain to me as thou art now,

And is the subject of some grievous pain.

To give thee my protection is my vow,

Yet such made I in boyhood’s zeal most vain.

I must forsake that vow and go from thee:

I was still boy when first our tale began,

But now, by mine own mother’s agony,

The boy is gone, and so departs the man.

PADMÉ

If thou shalt go, then I shall go withal,

Thy path shall be my path, thy pain as well.

ANAKIN

If I could choose, I would not need this call:

A mother’s anguish doth my soul compel.

PADMÉ

Naboo we leave, with all its dreamlike sheen,

And greet the morn to fly to Tatooine!

[Exeunt.

SCENE 4.

On the planet Kamino, in Tipoca City.

Enter JANGO FETT and BOBA FETT, preparing their ship to depart.

JANGO

Now all’s prepar’d, and we shall fly anon. The prying
of the Jedi soon is past. ’Tis true Kamino hath provided
most lucrative and simple employment. Yet now the
welcome hath been made unwell, and thus I fly.

BOBA

Behold, father, the Jedi cometh!

Enter OBI-WAN KENOBI, brandishing his lightsaber.

JANGO

Pray, Boba, flee aboard the ship! Now die, thou

Jedi half-man.

[As he flies into the air with his jetpack, Jango shoots at Obi-Wan.

OBI-WAN

The bounty hunter flies—his lasers, too—

Yet I am quick and parry easily.

His boy hath now the ship engag’d to leave,

But Obi-Wan hath writ another end.

JANGO

Lasers hath not giv’n you trouble enow, yet may my
rocket’s thunder still enthrall.

[Jango fires a rocket at Obi-Wan, whose lightsaber is knocked from his hand.

OBI-WAN

Alas, what blast—my lightsaber is gone!

BOBA

Now I shall join the fray—feel the fire of Slave One’s
deadly aim.

[Boba fires upon Obi-Wan from within the ship.

OBI-WAN

The villain flies to me—feel thou my kick!

If we in combat shall meet hand to hand,

I’ll warrant thou shalt by me bested be.

JANGO

In combat you are skill’d, Jedi. E’en now, feel
all the power of my wire!

[Jango shoots a cable around Obi-Wan’s wrists and flies away.

OBI-WAN

’Tis but a merry ride—is this thy worst?

Though by this wire thou pullest me along,

This platform’s pillars shall be stronger still.

[Obi-Wan stops his fall by tying the cable around a pillar, stopping Jango’s flight.

JANGO

My jetpack gone, I take a raucous slam. Lo, now
the Jedi comes again—he kicketh me, I fall!

OBI-WAN

He falls, yet is still bound to me by wire—

Thus his fall doth become mine own anon.

O, Obi-Wan, say wilt thou never learn?

[Together they begin to fall down the side of the landing platform.

JANGO

This shall not be the end of Jango Fett. Let these,
mine armor’d blades, quickly stop my fall. From there,
may I untwine this Jedi from myself. Yea, thus the Fetts
do win the day.

OBI-WAN

He hath releas’d me. Thus my fall is free,

But still have I this wire wherewith to work.

I prithee, Fate, knit me a mighty cord:

Let your cord and this wire be e’en as one!

The wire I toss—it catches ’round a pipe!

Again, Fate weaves for me a close escape.

[Jango spies over the precipice and sees no sign of Obi-Wan.

JANGO

Yea, now the Jedi is dispatch’d unto the briny depths—
farewell, most weak adversary. To the ship, and we
shall swiftly depart.

OBI-WAN

This portal may I take back to the platform,

And fight another round with Jango Fett.

[Obi-Wan enters the lift.

BOBA

My father hath defeated the Jedi scum. Thus, we go!

[Exeunt Jango and Boba as their ship starts to fly. Obi-Wan reenters.

OBI-WAN

I am too late to stop this Jango Fett

And render him unto the Council wise.

Yet by this keen device he may be mine—

[Obi-Wan throws a tracking device onto Jango Fett’s ship.

Thus do your work and track his fleeing ship:

I slip this in though he gives me the slip.

[Exit.

SCENE 5.

On the planet Tatooine.

Enter PADMÉ, ANAKIN SKYWALKER, and R2-D2.
Enter WATTO severally.

ANAKIN

O, chut, chut, Watto. Ding me chasa holp’.

WATTO

Gibudah, eh? Du bana biotah?

Nuh chada Jedi? Robata, nuhdoo!

ANAKIN

[aside:] He thinketh I have come to bring him grief,

For though he is not swift of wit, he knows

The dress and tools that make a Jedi Knight.

Now, to’t. [To Watto:] Me bosha di Shmi Skywalker.

WATTO

’Tis Ani? Little Ani? Aye, ’tis you!

Most verily you like a bud did sprout.

A Jedi now, indeed? Mayhap you could

Give me persistence with some brigands vile

Who owe me money? Show your Jedi strength?

ANAKIN

My mother is mine only purpose here.

WATTO

Indeed, your Shmi. She is no longer mine.

I sold her.

ANAKIN

—Sold her?

WATTO

—Years ago ’twas done.

Apologies, dear Ani, but so goes

The straying: business is business.

I sold her to a moisture farmer, Lars,

And thereupon I heard he married her.

Sand’s not so harsh but love may make it smooth.

ANAKIN

Canst tell me where my mother may be found?

WATTO

’Tis far, beyond Mos Eisley, I believe.

ANAKIN

I fain would know where.

WATTO

—Obsoletely, aye!

Pray, come and I’ll my chronicles review.

[Anakin and Watto walk aside.

PADMÉ

For this dear friend, this precious Anakin,

Mine heart doth worry with a troubl’d beat.

He doth attempt to show an aspect strong,

But in his visage doth his fear emerge

As though ’twere tattoo’d on his gallant face.

And though he loves me, when he loves me not,

Chaos is come again. Such do I fear,

For he is like a sail upon the wind,

E’er buffeted upon the roiling waves

Of his most tender and e’er-changing moods.

Row steady, captain of my stormy heart,

Let not thy rudder turn at ev’ry surge.

R2-D2

[aside:] O, would that some solace could provide

Unto this lady, tender, sweet, and true.

[Exit Watto as Anakin returns.

ANAKIN

My mother is not here, but farther on.

Wilt thou go with me, gentle lady? Speak.

PADMÉ

I will, and shall—pray, let us go anon

And find the one thou earnestly dost seek.

I prithee, good R2, stay with the ship,

This is a journey we shall make alone.

Remain, and here our vessel strong equip,

That when ’tis done, we may from here be flown.

R2-D2

Beep, squeak, beep, whistle, meep, beep, whistle, woo.

[Aside:] Loath am I to make my departure hence,

For e’en a fool as R2 can infer

The trouble that awaits on Tatooine.

I do not know how this grim tale shall end,

Though hope doth still resound within my wires.

Aye, peradventure all may still end well.

[Exit R2-D2 as Padmé and Anakin journey toward the Lars homestead.

ANAKIN

Lo, thither in the distance I do see

The homestead whereof Watto spoke of late.

Belike my mother waits there presently,

Although mine instincts other truths relate.

Enter C-3PO.

C-3PO

Holla! May I some honest service render?

My name is call’d C—

ANAKIN

—Threepio, ’tis thee?

C-3PO

The maker, even Master Anakin!

I knew you would return to me one day.

And Lady Padmé, by my droidly troth!

PADMÉ

Fair greetings, Threepio.

C-3PO

—O, bless my circuits!

Forsooth, it doth me well to see you here.

ANAKIN

I have return’d to see my mother, Shmi.

C-3PO

Indeed. [Aside:] O etiquette, O protocol!

[To Anakin:] Perhaps it would be best to walk indoors.

There may my master Lars her tale unfold.

Enter OWEN LARS and BERU WHITESUN as the group enters the Lars homestead.

OWEN

C-3PO?

C-3PO

—Good Master Owen, might

I introduce two noble visitors?

ANAKIN

Know ye my name? I’m Anakin Skywalker.

OWEN

I Owen Lars, and this my lass, Beru.

BERU

Good morrow, sir.

PADMÉ

—And I am Padmé call’d.

OWEN

[to Anakin:] I’ faith, your name is known to me,
good sir.

It seemeth I am stepbrother to you.

Methought that you might someday here arrive:

That day hath come.

ANAKIN

—Yet is my mother here?

Enter CLIEGG LARS.

CLIEGG

Alack, for this must be the answer: nay.

My name is Cliegg, and Shmi is my dear wife.

Pray, step within, for I have much to say.

ANAKIN

[aside:] Confusion! I, who ne’er had family,

In searching for the one hath found three more?

I did not seek a wealth of relatives,

Such riches ne’er did dwell in my desires.

Still they are here, and fortune should be mine,

Except my mother doth her richness hide.

[They enter the Lars homestead and sit at a table.

CLIEGG

I prithee, rest awhile and hear my tale:

’Twas just e’er dawn not many days ago,

They came from nowhere, like a sudden storm:

The Tusken Raiders in their vicious might.

Your mother had departed early on,

As was her wont, to gather mushrooms, which

Upon the moisture vaporators grow.

The story that her footprints do impart

Relate that she had reach’d the half-point home

When she by Tusken Raiders was beset.

The Tuskens do as humans walk and talk,

Yet in their hearts are fill’d with viciousness

That doth befit a monster, not a man.

Full thirty able souls did venture forth

To find her; only four of us return’d.

Such slaughter mine eyes never wish’d to see,

Brought on by their brutality extreme.

Yea, I would thither be a’searching still

Were not my leg a victim of their wrath.

I cannot ride again until I heal,

And then shall I resume the search once more.

My stubborn heart will not admit defeat,

Though she is gone for lo this full moon past.

I would not give up hope, though little hope

Remains that she has strength t’endure this long.

[Anakin rises.

OWEN

Pray, whither would you go, O, Anakin?

ANAKIN

To find a mother by some other means

Than telling tales of lost and shatter’d hope.

CLIEGG

Your mother must be dead, son, let it be.

ANAKIN

Acceptance is a fashion ill-befitting—

Yea, such a garment I’ll not rush to wear.

I say, if you would talk of letting be,

Then let me be and do restrain me not.

You are prepar’d to say that she is lost,

But I shall speak not so till I have proof.

My mother to the last I’ll strive to find,

Thus not to dance too quickly on her grave.

[Exeunt Cliegg Lars, Owen Lars, Beru Whitesun, and C-3PO.

PADMÉ

O, troubl’d soul, how may I give thee aid,

And what words speak that I may succor give?

ANAKIN

I prithee, stay thou here, be not dismay’d,

These people have kind souls, as I do live.

Thou shalt be safe shouldst thou with them remain.

PADMÉ

Courageous man! Mine heart with thine’s entwin’d.

ANAKIN

This moment doth beget a bitter pain:

My love I leave, another love to find.

[Exeunt.

SCENE 6.

Outer space, near the planet Geonosis.

Enter RUMOR.

RUMOR

Bold Anakin doth search both near and far,

E’en as his mother groans on Tatooine.

His sharp confusion, fear, and anger are

Old friends full welcome unto Rumor’s scene.

Let him in his despair, at his young age,

Deny the Jedi training that he knows,

Thus spend his fury, satisfy his rage,

His mother to defend by hearty blows.

E’en thus doth Rumor lead him to the edge,

Burn deep within the furnace of his mind.

And thus, for love of mother, shall he pledge

To maim and kill whomever he may find.

The scene here doth return to Obi-Wan,

Led by a small device to distant shore,

Ere he hath left, his mind shall wildly run—

So Rumor multiplies her whispers more.

Come ye unto the scene: behold the Fetts

Endeavor to destroy the Jedi Knight,

Now Obi-Wan is caught within their nets.

Enough of talk: bear witness to the fight!

[Exit Rumor.

Enter JANGO FETT and BOBA FETT on balcony, in ship. Enter OBI-WAN KENOBI and R4-P17 below, pursuing in Obi-Wan’s ship.

BOBA

My father, behold! It seemeth we are track’d.

JANGO

Lo, the knave’s alive, and with trickery hath placèd a
homing beacon upon our hull. My son, be thou at ease
and take care: unto the field of asteroids we’ll fly and
there unfold surprises enow for him.

R4-P17

Whoop, zip!

OBI-WAN

—The knave employeth seismic charges.

I shall make swift maneuvers to survive.

[Jango’s seismic charges begin to explode as Obi-Wan flies through.

What pow’rs hath humans wrought that can bring such

Destruction to such asteroids as these?

These weapons we’ve created have such might

As would impress the gods in all their heights.

Now, as these potent weapons turn on me,

I sense their magnitude with new respect.

The asteroids do burst to bits an ’twere

A mass of sand assail’d by ocean’s flood—

What strange occurrence hath befallen us

When we create that which creation wrecks,

When we hath brought to life that which aids death.

JANGO

E’en so the man doth follow on apace. Disdain doth rise
within my gorge, for this Jedi is not easily dissuaded.

Yet I shall still prevail, as I within this asteroid fly.

OBI-WAN

Through tunnels vast, through fields of asteroids:

Still there I shall pursue thee, Jango Fett.

JANGO

Now we emerge as he still flies within. This asteroid
shall serve as hiding spot. He doth fly out but, lo, a
difference: he who was chas’d—e’en me—is now he
who chaseth.

BOBA

What cunning, Father, aye! Pray, strike him with
thy fiery blast!

[Jango fires at Obi-Wan.

OBI-WAN

At once I am reminded wherefore I

Am not inclin’d to fly. Such madness, O!

The ship is struck—R4, canst thou repair’t?

BOBA

Thou hittest the mark!

JANGO

Indeed, the first hit hath been struck, and
presently shall I finish the Jedi.

[Jango fires a heat-seeking rocket at Obi-Wan.

OBI-WAN

Alas, from bad to worse! Heat-seeking shells

Fly swiftly on toward mine harried ship.

The very heat that gives my body life

And that keen fire that powers my fleet ship

Do now betray me, even unto death.

R4, I call on thee, good droid: prepare

To jettison the spare part cannisters.

R4-P17

Bleep, whoop!

OBI-WAN

—I prithee, send them forth e’en now!

[The spare parts are released and the rockets hit them, exploding upon contact.

JANGO

A blessed sight, eh, Boba? ’Tis so: we shall not be
troubl’d by his like again, I’ll warrant.

[Exeunt Jango and Boba.

OBI-WAN

Well done, R4. The strong explosion hath

Giv’n cover to our hidden purposes:

First to survive, which we have managèd,

And second, to pursue this Jango Fett,

And third, to find where hurriedly he flies,

And last of all, to learn who waiteth there:

The unknown bard of this conspiracy.

Let us fly hence, the bounty hunter track

Unto the planet, recogniz’d by mine

Own chart as Geonosis. Quickly, go!

And let us see what wonders wait below.

Behold, R4, those Federation ships—

How vast the sum of them, all in one spot.

Let us make landing: surely ’tis the place.

[They land on Geonosis.

I prithee, brave R4, stay with the ship.

I shall conceal myself, and as I hide

The thing that we do seek may be reveal’d.

[Exit R4-P17.

Here in this hall of stone I shall be hid,

With rocky walls full high and hard to climb,

And the place death, considering who I am.

Behold, what industry doth run within—

A factory for making battle droids.

Whate’er the Federation hath design’d,

It seems this is the operation’s base.

But soft, I hear a group that comes anon.

[Obi-Wan hides behind an arras.

Enter COUNT DOOKU, NUTE GUNRAY, DAULTAY DOFINE, WAT TAMBOR, SHU MAI, SAN HILL, and other CONSPIRATORS.

DOOKU

The pow’rful Commerce Guild together with

The Corporate Alliance must both be

Persuaded to be signatories to

Our treaty. Only thus our plans succeed.

NUTE

What of the senator from small Naboo?

Hath our assassin executed her?

I shall not sign your treaty, sir, until

Her head doth ornament my chamber desk.

DOOKU

I shall fulfill my word, good viceroy, and

Deliver unto you the prize you seek.

WAT

With these new battle droids that we have built,

Your army shall best all that they do meet:

The finest troop within the galaxy.

OBI-WAN

[aside:] Some treason, this! Count Dooku doth conspire

To overthrow the strong Republic with

These wretched villains, furthering his cause.

DOOKU

As I explain’d to you ere now, more than

Ten thousand systems shall join with our cause

Once I have your support, good gentlemen.

SHU

What you propose could be constru’d, dear sir,

As treason in the uttermost degree.

WAT

The Techno Union army waits upon

Your pleasure, Count, and doth stand by to serve.

SAN

The Banking Clan shall sign your treaty, Count.

DOOKU

’Tis well. Our allies of the Federation

Have pledg’d their strong support. When all their droids

Are match’d to yours, our army shall surpass

All others in the galaxy. And the

Conclusion is the Jedi are o’erwhelm’d.

In practice let us put it presently.

The game is won, the checkmate shall be ours:

The pawns are now in place, and we, the kings,

Perforce rush forth to take the Jedi Knights.

With such a move the weak Republic shall

Be lost, and bow to those demands we make.

[Exeunt all but Obi-Wan, who emerges from his hiding place.

OBI-WAN

Mine ears do burn by treason’s wicked flame.

A band of traitorous conspirators

Doth seek to bring th’Republic to its knees,

And in the doing rout the Jedi, too.

Was e’er such villainy as this design’d?

Was e’er such treachery as this conceiv’d?

Was e’er such perfidy as this begun?

Was e’er such wrongdoing as this devis’d?

Conspiracy upon conspiracy

Doth grow such that I find myself amaz’d.

Attempt on the senator’s dear life

Turn’d to a bounty hunter’s keen pursuit,

The bounty hunter led to cloners’ art,

News of an army order’d for th’Republic.

From there the bounty hunter led once more

Unto this scene of greatest menace yet:

A plot to overthrow all we hold dear,

Including e’en the Jedi Order, too.

With haste I must report this evil scheme,

Mayhap to save us from a vile regime.

[Exit.

SCENE 1.

On the planet Tatooine.

Enter ANAKIN SKYWALKER.

ANAKIN

My tale of woe may yet to madness run.

Departing from my newfound family,

My way upon the dunes of Tatooine

I sped to douse the blazing in mine heart

And rac’d to find my mother and her captors.

The mocking setting suns of Tatooine

Refus’d to share their light and give me aid,

As if to say dark deeds deserve dark night.

The rocks I pass’d assail’d me with their taunts,

Assuring me they’d witness’d stronger griefs.

Stone arches underneath which I did fly

Seem’d to adjure me to make greater haste.

At dusk I found a roving Jawa band,

And did convince them that they must disclose

Whatever knowledge of my mother’s plight

They had discover’d in the journeying.

They steer’d me to the Raiders’ settlement,

Where, with a Jedi’s stealth I’ve enter’d in.

From tent to tent I search, and sense her here:

My mother, still alive though suffering.

He comes upon SHMI SKYWALKER, who is bound and injured.

Alack, sweet mother, I’ll untie these knots.

Kind mother, speak, and let me hear thy voice.

SHMI

’Tis Ani? Is it thee, my boy grown up?

ANAKIN

Forsooth, ’tis I, and thou art safe at last.

SHMI

O Ani, thou art handsomer a thing

Than ere these mother’s eyes did hope to see.

My son, my little boy, my full-grown man.

My feeble heart doth beat with earnest pride:

No other wish had I but to see thee.

ANAKIN

I’ve miss’d thee so.

SHMI

—My life is now complete.

I love thee, Anakin. Now may I rest.

Commend me to mine husband: O, farewell!

[Shmi dies.

ANAKIN

O, agony, O, melancholy vast.

My mother, O! She should have died hereafter,

There would have been a time for such a word.

Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow

Creeps in this petty pace from day to day

To the last syllable of recorded time,

And all our yesterdays have lighted fools

The way to dusty death. On, on, lightsaber!

Since I could not my mother longer know,

Could not by mine own hands assuage her pain

Or bring to her a moment of relief,

There is no time for grieving neither, nay.

My grief instead shall turn to sweet revenge,

The sadness be transform’d to hate and rage.

One life she gave to satisfy their thirst,

Yet my thirst knows no bounds: no simple drink

Can slake the dehydration of my soul,

Can quench the drought that hath dried up my heart.

The only swill that satisfies tonight

Shall be the essence that gives life to each.

Yea, Tusken Raiders, ready ye the cups:

I’ll swallow ye, be drunk upon your blood!

[Exit Anakin to sounds of screams.

Enter YODA and MACE WINDU, on balcony.

MACE

What troubles you, good Master Yoda? Say,

What phantom menace in your mind doth rise?

YODA

’Tis pain, suffering,

Death all around. Something vile

Hath happen’d, in sooth.

Young Skywalker, O!

Another’s pain he borrows—

Terrible sorrows.

[Exeunt.

SCENE 2.

On the planets Geonosis, Tatooine, and Coruscant.

Enter OBI-WAN KENOBI and R4-P17.

OBI-WAN

My transmitter doth operate aright,

Yet we receive no signal in return.

Belike yon Coruscant is too far gone.

R4, canst thou the power yet increase?

R4-P17

Zing, whoop.

OBI-WAN

—Some other plan we shall devise.

Mayhap we may reach Anakin, who is

Much closer, still residing on Naboo.

[Into transmitter:] I prithee, Anakin, canst thou hear me?

’Tis Obi-Wan Kenobi. Pray, respond.

[To R4-P17:] He is not on Naboo, R4. Where, then?

If, peradventure, I increase the range

He may yet be discover’d. I do hope

That naught of ill hath happen’d to the boy.

A-ha! There ’tis, his tracking signal, yea—

But what is this? It comes from Tatooine!

What childish folly doth he seek therein?

Mine order was on Naboo to remain.

R4-P17

Whoop, zing, bleep, whoop.

OBI-WAN

—We have but little time.

I prithee, Anakin, dost thou hear me?

Enter R2-D2 on balcony, receiving message.

My long-range transmitter hath been destroy’d.

Deliver this dispatch to Coruscant.

[Exeunt Obi-Wan and R4-P17.

R2-D2

I shall! For I alone within the ship

Am here, my master’s message to receive.

[Exit R2-D2.

Enter ANAKIN SKYWALKER holding SHMI SKYWALKER’s body. Enter PADMÉ, CLIEGG LARS, OWEN LARS, and BERU WHITESUN severally.

ANAKIN

My mother, dead and wrapp’d within this shroud,

I bring to this, her final resting place.

Good souls, I pray, do we all holy rites:

Let there be sung a funereal dirge.

The dead with charity enclos’d in sand:

And then unto the ship, and then Naboo,

Where ne’er from Tatooine arriv’d more grief.

[Owen sings a funeral dirge.

OWEN

[sings:] She is dead and gone, lady,

She is dead and gone.

At her head a sandy turf,

And her heels a stone.

She is far beyond, lady,

She is far beyond.

Lady whom we knew in life,

Lady more than fond.

She is pass’d and done, lady,

She is pass’d and done.

Mourn’d by those who weep for her,

Mourn’d by her own son.

CLIEGG

Where’er thou goest, from this mortal coil,

The place is better, for thou there dost dwell.

Of loving partners thou wert ever first:

The best a man could find i’the galaxy.

Farwell my love, my hope, my joy, my all—

My gratitude complete take thou with thee.

ANAKIN

I had not strength to save thee, mother dear,

My might was not sufficient—still, I vow

That nevermore I’ll fail when fac’d with death.

Already I do miss thee, past all sense.

CLIEGG

Now we’ll away, to spend ourselves in grief.

[Exeunt Cliegg Lars, Owen Lars, and Beru Whitesun.

ANAKIN

What anguish lies within my weary soul!

The mother whom I lov’d—do love, would love—

Hath been remov’d. How shall I e’er be whole?

O, monstrous Fate that knits our lives above,

And doth not condescend to look below

And see what knots its tangled string doth weave.

Would that I could its crushing grip forego

And be its master, so to gain reprieve

From all the mocking twists that Fate doth give.

One day I shall rise far beyond this fate,

Rise thither where all do forever live.

Until that day, I curse this dark estate.

PADMÉ

I bid thee, wilt thou come inside and eat?

ANAKIN

I shall inside to fix the speeder, aye,

For as I rode the shifter did o’erheat.

Life doth seem simpler when a project’s nigh.

There’s little broken but my skill may fix.

Yet I could not fix her. Why did she die?

And wherefore could I not save her by tricks?

If I had greater strength, death would run dry.

PADMÉ

There’s aught within our massive galaxy

That naught can fix, no matter what we do.

Omnipotent thou art not, canst thou see?

ANAKIN

Yet should I be! And will be someday, true.

Most powerful among the Jedi yet:

This shall I be: it is mine earnest vow.

One day I shall the strength of death offset.

PADMÉ

O, Anakin, such fury in thy brow.

ANAKIN

’Tis Obi-Wan who is to blame, indeed:

In him’s the green-eyed monster, jealousy.

He holds me back, so I may not succeed!

PADMÉ

What are these words? Pray speak, what troubles
thee?

ANAKIN

These hands, O, wretched hands that took enjoyment

In killing Tusken men an ’twere child’s play.

Yet, O, they did make love to this employment;

They are not near my conscience: never, nay.

The men, though, could not hope to satisfy

My sick bloodthirsty soul, which needed more.

So kill’d I all—the women, children, aye,

I bath’d the lot of them in filth and gore.

They are like animals fit for a feast,

And I did bring to slaughter ev’ry one.

My soul doth fester like a raging beast,

From hate to greater hate mine heart doth run.

PADMÉ

Thine anger is but human, Anakin.

ANAKIN

I am a Jedi, and should better be.

PADMÉ

My spirit is to thine a joinèd twin,

Thus may I bear thine ev’ry agony.

Enter R2-D2 and C-3PO.

R2-D2

Beep, meep, beep, squeak.

PADMÉ

—R2, I pray, what is’t?

R2-D2

Meep, whistle, hoo!

C-3PO

—He doth report this news:

Some message comes from Obi-Wan Kenobi,

A name most unfamiliar unto me.

Good Master Anakin, know you this name?

ANAKIN

[aside:] Midst all these moments of defeating grief

I have almost my senses quite forgot.

Good Master Obi-Wan, I’ll heed your call.

[To R2-D2:] Good droid, the message thou shalt
play anon.

R2-D2 begins playing the message. Enter OBI-WAN KENOBI aside, in beam. Enter YODA and MACE WINDU on balcony, hearing the message as well.

OBI-WAN

My long-range transmitter hath been destroy’d.

Deliver this dispatch to Coruscant.

I’ve track’d the bounty hunter, Jango Fett,

To Geonosis and its foundries vast,

Constructing battle droids by night and day.

The vile Trade Federation now doth scheme

To join its great droid army unto these.

’Tis clear that Viceroy Gunray hath conspir’d

The senator, e’en Amidala, to

Assassinate. The Corporate Alliance,

Together with the Commerce Guilds, have pledg’d

Allegiance—aye, and armies—to Count Dooku.

They form e’en now a…Wait, I am attack’d!

[Exit Obi-Wan from beam, brandishing his lightsaber.

YODA

More hath taken place

On Geonosis, I feel,

Than reveal’d hath been.

MACE

Yea, Master, I agree. Brave Anakin,

Let us avengers to Count Dooku be.

Thou must remain where presently thou art,

The senator, at all costs, to protect.

This is mine order, thy priority.

ANAKIN

I understand, my master, and obey.

[Exeunt Yoda and Mace from balcony. Exeunt R2-D2 and C-3PO.

PADMÉ

They never shall reach Obi-Wan in time,

’Tis halfway ’cross the galaxy immense.

Behold, for I do speak with reason’s rhyme,

Yon Geonosis is but parsecs hence.

ANAKIN

’Tis true, if e’en the man is still alive.

PADMÉ

What cause hast thou to speak with bitter words?

Thou wouldst not stay and him thine help deprive.

He is thy mentor, you are like two birds

Who fly together t’ward a common thing.

ANAKIN

Forsooth, the man is like a father gull,

Who rais’d his fledgling till it could take wing,

He shar’d his nest with me, my faults did cull,

And, with paternal love, taught me to fly.

I know the duty I do owe to him,

Yet thou heard’st Master Windu’s strict reply:

I must stay here, not fly upon a whim.

PADMÉ

His order was to guard me, not to hide,

And I shall soar to help thine Obi-Wan.

If thou shalt some protection yet provide,

Thou must come with me till mine errand’s done.

ANAKIN

O, wondrous wit of women’s strength thou hast,

And I am all entangl’d in thy braid.

We shall find Obi-Wan, and at the last

The Jedi Council’s orders are obey’d.

Enter R2-D2 and C-3PO as all enter the cruiser.

C-3PO

Now unto space we fly—it works me woe:

Methought that I would never travel so.

[Exeunt.

SCENE 3.

On the planet Coruscant.

Enter JEDI 1 and JEDI 2.

JEDI 1

Good friend, well met.

JEDI 2

—And thee as well, holla!

How hast thou spent this lovely, merry day?

JEDI 1

A’wondering o’er what the future brings.

JEDI 2

Indeed? What is it that thou wonderest?

JEDI 1

Our stories and our strivings and our wars:

Shall they in other times remember’d be?

Is’t possible, that some long time from now,

Mayhap in galaxy far, far away,

Our tales shall be imparted to the young?

Will there be anyone who doth recall

Wise Master Yoda’s striking witticisms,

Or noble Master Windu’s boundless might?

What would some future, far-off galaxy

Think of our battles and adventures here?

Shall our Republic yet remember’d be

When all empirically is past and gone?

JEDI 2

O, heavy thoughts! Pray, let me rest thy mind,

For I have often wonder’d this myself.

JEDI 1

Yea, truly? What conclusions hast thou reach’d?

JEDI 2

But this: why should another galaxy

Well in the future e’er have need of us?

The future of another place shall be

Far different than we could ever think.

Canst thou imagine folk in some far place

All gather’d round to see our stories play’d—

Their young men in our clothing all attir’d,

Their women as our princesses array’d,

Their builders fashioning a scene to match,

Their artisans detailing starship parts,

Their scholars indexing each term of ours,

Their engineers attempting to make droids,

Their foolish jesters mashing up our words?

’Tis near unthinkable, some culture hence

That knows of our beloved, sacred Force.

JEDI 1

My friend, thy words are unexpected balm.

Long time ahead in galaxy far off,

They shall have situations hard enough

That they need not rehearse our troubl’d times.

JEDI 2

Thou seest? ’Tis plain. Unless our stories were

Some maudlin form of entertainment. Ha!

JEDI 1

How passing strange such galaxy would be.

JEDI 2

And now to supper. Wilt thou come?

JEDI 1

—Lead on!

[Exeunt Jedi 1 and Jedi 2.

Enter CHANCELLOR PALPATINE.

PALPATINE

The actors are arrang’d, the scene is set,

The script itself is written in Fate’s hand.

Still, some few wisps of drama must unfold

Ere I do rise beyond this theatre.

The witless players make approach anon,

Some have their lines prewritten in mine hand,

For I have paid them well to act my play.

The others are mere tools unto my will,

Not players they, but play’d by my deceits.

Mine entrance through the portico unto

The stage that Fortune hath design’d for me

Is imminent, the role for which I live.

My Senate role was merely cameo,

And chancellor is merely understudy

Unto that part I cherish: emperor.

Now grasp it swiftly, worthy Palpatine:

Make sure the entrances and exits are

Directed to the purpose of thine act.

From groundling unto stalls and balcony

The globe itself is thine, if thou so choose.

Enter YODA, MACE WINDU, BAIL ORGANA, JAR JAR BINKS, SENATOR ASK AAK, and VICE CHANCELLOR MAS AMEDDA.

BAIL

’Tis clear the Commerce Guilds prepare for war,

Of that we are beyond all doubt by now.

PALPATINE

Count Dooku hath devis’d a treaty with

The Guilds, that much is sure.

ask

—Debate no more!

The army of the clones must soon be ours.

’Tis ready for the taking—we would be

But folly-fallen fools to pass it by.

BAIL

Nay, our debate is neither clos’d nor done.

The Senate never shall approve the use

Of clones unless the sep’ratists attack.

MAS

This crisis doth demand such measures as

Would not elsewise be us’d. The Senate must

Convey what powers to the chancellor

We may, to stifle this emergency.

He then may, by supreme command, approve

Creation of an army of the clones.

PALPATINE

What senator would have such courage to

Propose such radical amendment, eh?

MAS

If Amidala were but here.

PALPATINE

—Indeed.

[Exeunt all but Jar Jar.

JAR JAR

Insinuation fills my troubl’d ears—

’Tis clear this senator and Palpatine

Wish me to act the part of Padmé here

And vote the chancellor a pow’r complete.

They would play me as though I were a pipe,

With stops and whistles made for their employ.

They would pluck out the heart of my myst’ry,

Would sound me from my lowest note unto

The top of my compass if they had th’skill.

I shall not be so play’d, for I am not

The fool for which they take me, here to be

Conducted in a ballad dissonant.

Yet of mine own accord, I see this path:

Mine efforts—since the Jedi first did come

To my Naboo—have been t’ward harmony,

Betwixt the Gugans and Naboo at first,

And then, in Coruscant, t’ward peace profound

For ev’ry race within our galaxy.

I have not power to foresee how all

These matters shall unfold. Still, conscience doth

Compel me to continue as I may,

And strive for reconciliation e’er.

Methinks these sep’ratists are rank and vile,

E’er striving to create division harsh.

Our dear Republic, though imperfect ’tis,

Is still the galaxy’s profoundest hope

For peace among the races that exist.

Mayhap an army to protect our aims

Shall be the best solution. O, that I

Could have some knowledge of the future time.

Yet lacking knowledge thus, I only know

That which, o’er time, hath been made known to me,

And judging thus, I do trust Palpatine

And shall support his labors to protect

Th’Republic, even by an army here.

Go confidently to the Senate, Binks,

There shall I aid the common good, methinks.

[Exit.

SCENE 4.

On the planet Geonosis.

Enter OBI-WAN KENOBI, bound in fetters, and COUNT DOOKU.

OBI-WAN

O, traitor vile! You wretched, scheming rogue.

DOOKU

You have it wrong, my friend. What we have here

Is but a failure to communicate.

My strong associates have gone too far,

To see you bound is madness to mine eyes.

OBI-WAN

Yet ’tis your cool hand that leads here, ’tis true?

DOOKU

’Tis naught to do with me, believe me, sir.

I shall petition for your quick release.

OBI-WAN

I hope it shall not be too long a time,

For I’ve important work to do hereon.

DOOKU

Well said, and to the point: say, wherefore hath

A Jedi Knight to Geonosis come?

OBI-WAN

I track a bounty hunter, Jango Fett.

Know you the man?

DOOKU

—No bounty hunters live

Herein of which I am aware, because

The Geonosians do not trust their kind.

OBI-WAN

Yea, who would blame them for this sound mistrust?

Yet he is here, of that I am convinc’d.

DOOKU

’Tis piteous our paths did never cross

Ere now, brave Obi-Wan, for Qui-Gon e’er

Spoke well of you. Would that he still did live,

For in this time his counsel would prove true.

OBI-WAN

Nay, Qui-Gon Jinn would never join with you.

DOOKU

Be not so sure, young Jedi, all may not

Be quite so clear as you imagine ’tis.

You do forget, perhaps, that he was once

Apprentic’d unto me as you to him.

The Senate’s rank corruption was well known

To him, and ne’er would he have walk’d their path

If he had learn’d the truth of where it leads.

OBI-WAN

What truth?

DOOKU

—A truth you never shall believe.

Pray, listen with an open, willing ear.

I shall unveil to you a wondrous tale,

How the Republic hath been undermin’d

And is, e’en now, within the full control

Of one most fear’d, the dark lord of the Sith.

OBI-WAN

Such tales are meant to frighten children, Count,

Yet are but fiction in the light of day.

The Jedi would be well aware of such

A power, were it making some ascent.

DOOKU

The dark side of the Force doth make them blind.

Full many senators, e’en hundreds, aye,

Are rul’d by the Sith lord, Darth Sidious.

OBI-WAN

Your words are but an idle tale, sir.

DOOKU

The Federation viceroy once did work

Darth Sidious withal, but was betray’d

A decade since by this dark, evil lord.

The viceroy came to me and told me all.

I prithee, join with me, strong Obi-Wan.

When our strength is combin’d, we shall conclude

This bitter conflict and bring order to

The galaxy entire.

OBI-WAN

—I never shall

Join with you; I would rather be destroy’d.

DOOKU

Your liberation may prove difficult.

[Exit Obi-Wan.

I tell him naught but truth, yet he is deaf:

These Jedi are made weak by their own pride.

Reality shall come a’crashing in

Unless the Jedi ope their eyes anon.

Still, I would haply have been join’d by him,

Together he and I could rule as Sith.

Zounds! Mine ambition knows no end, ’tis true—

E’en as I serve my lord, I seek his place.

Ha! Obi-Wan’s defiance matters not,

Reduc’d to bones he shall be by our plot.

[Exit.

SCENE 5.

On the planet Coruscant, inside the Senate chamber.

Enter CHANCELLOR PALPATINE, VICE CHANCELLOR MAS AMEDDA, JAR JAR BINKS, and other MEMBERS OF THE GALACTIC SENATE. Enter YODA and MACE WINDU on balcony, observing the proceedings.

JAR JAR

’Tis clear dat desa sep’ratist, dey

Did make a pact wid Federation.

Ye senators, dellow felagates,

We should respond to dis big threatee

To our Republic wid a big show:

So meesa do propose de Senate

Immediate emergency pow’r

Give to de Chancellor Supreme, yea?

SENATORS

’Tis Palpatine, aye, Palatine, hurrah!

MAS

Give order in the Senate, order now!

PALPATINE

It is with a reluctance limitless

That I receive and do accept this charge.

Democracy is that which I do love,

And our Republic is mine heart’s desire.

I shall lay down this burthen of vast pow’r

When time shall be this crisis hath declin’d.

My first act, by this fresh authority,

Shall be a mighty army to establish,

Which shall protect and serve th’Republic’s cause

And counter this increasing, ugly threat

That cometh from the faithless sep’ratists.

SENATORS

An army, aye! For Palpatine, hurrah!

MACE

[to Yoda:] Then it is done, the army shall exist:

Republic hath a loaded weapon gain’d.

The Jedi who remain shall come with me

To Geonosis, aiding Obi-Wan.

YODA

Visit I shall make

To cloners on Kamino.

Their story I’ll hear.

There shall I inspect

This clone army, and lay claim

In Republic’s name.

[Exeunt.

SCENE 1.

On the planet Geonosis, the droid foundry and the execution arena.

Enter ANAKIN SKYWALKER and PADMÉ, in ship with C-3PO and R2-D2.

PADMÉ

Dost see the posts of steam that yonder rise?

They tell of some exhaust ports down below.

ANAKIN

Well seen, my lady, keen are thy two eyes.

Therein shall I touch down, to meet our foe.

PADMÉ

I prithee, Anakin, whate’er befalls

Take thou instruction from mine ev’ry move,

Should tact and manners fail inside these walls

War follows if our rivals disapprove.

I, as a member of the Senate strong,

Belike may find a diplomatic end

To all this conflict and its senseless wrong.

ANAKIN

Aye, thy look doth all arguments suspend.

[Exeunt Anakin and Padmé, disembarking.

R2-D2

[aside:] Shall I remain to let them suffer ill?

Forbid it so! They’ll have my droidly help.

[To C-3PO:] Beep, meep, squeak, beep!

C-3PO

—Mine errant, impish friend,

If they had needed our assistance, then

’Tis plain they need but merely ask for it.

Thou couldst much learn about the human mind,

If thou by me wouldst be instructed.

R2-D2

—Squeak!

Enter ANAKIN SKYWALKER and PADMÉ, on balcony.

ANAKIN

A large facility, with many routes,

I wonder where we shall find Obi-Wan.

PADMÉ

Such wayward paths do trail these harsh disputes

And lead us unto webs by darkness spun.

[Exeunt Anakin and Padmé.

R2-D2

Meep, beep, meep, whistle, beep, squeak, whistle, hoo!

C-3PO

For a mechanic, thinkest thou too much!

R2-D2

Beep, whistle, squeak, meep, hoo!

C-3PO

—I programm’d am

To understand humanity and all

Its complex, varied moods and attitudes.

O, what a piece of work’s humanity—

How infinite in faculty! In form

And moving, how express and admirable!

Presume thou not to doubt mine expertise.

R2-D2

Squeak, whistle, squeak, beep, hoo, beep, whistle,
squeak!

C-3PO

“What doth that mean?” thou sayest, naught droid!

The plain conclusion’s this: I am in charge.

R2-D2

[aside:] I have a nobler, more important charge:

These humans to protect, as best I may.

[To C-3PO:] Meep, hoo!

C-3PO

—O wither goest thou, small rogue?

Thou knowest not what lies beyond, R2!

Hast thou lost ev’ry ounce of common sense?

[R2-D2 disembarks with C-3PO in pursuit.

Alack! If thou shalt go, then wait for me!

Is’t possible thou knowest where thou lead’st?

Enter ANAKIN SKYWALKER and PADMÉ, pursued by GEONOSIANS.

ANAKIN

You brutes, taste my lightsaber’s hostile touch!

[Anakin slays several Geonosians, who flee, passing by C-3PO and R2-D2.

C-3PO

You beasts, depart from us at once! O! O!

[Anakin and Padmé reach a precipice above the droid foundry.

PADMÉ

Our path doth lead from trouble unto trouble:

Behold, our way doth cease upon this ledge.

ANAKIN

The plank, indeed, our misery doth double,

For now it disappears, ’tis but a wedge!

PADMÉ

I fall!

[Padmé falls, landing on the conveyor belt below.

ANAKIN

—My love, my life, I follow thee!

[Anakin jumps to the conveyor belt.

Enter GEONOSIANS, fighting ANAKIN. He destroys them.

PADMÉ

A vast machine with plates and hammer’d steel—

One wayward step shall be the death of me.

If I but guide my steps with even keel,

Then peradventure I may best it yet.

Be swift, my feet, the mallets to avoid!

[She runs underneath several large hammering and clamping devices, escaping their blows.

’Tis like a gauntlet by some devil set:

Is this the scene in which I am destroy’d?

ANAKIN

My Jedi senses aid my progress here,

Though still mine heart, my Padmé is far gone!

Her death herein—O, ’tis mine utmost fear:

I need no stronger reason to press on!

[C-3PO and R2-D2 arrive on the precipice above the droid foundry.

C-3PO

O, madness most profound, what sight is this?

Yea, shut me off—machines that make machines!

Such strange perversity I never saw.

R2-D2

Beep, meep.

[R2-D2 bumps into C-3PO from behind.

C-3PO

—Take care, R2, I almost fell!

R2-D2

[aside:] Adventure shall befall him, ere he knows!

[To C-3PO:] Meep, whistle, hoo!

[R2-D2 bumps into C-3PO, knocking him off the precipice onto a passing foundry vehicle.

C-3PO

—I fall! Aye, ask for me

Tomorrow, you shall find me a scrap droid!

A nightmare, this! We’re not in Tatooine,

Not anymore: O, there’s no place like home!

[The vehicle drops C-3PO onto a conveyor belt.

Have I no heart, that I this pain deserve?

[R2-D2 fires his boosters and flies into the foundry chamber.

R2-D2

[aside:] I fly, my friends to save! Beep, whistle, hoo!

[A Geonosian attacks Padmé.

PADMÉ

O, nasty, wretched creature, let me go!

Alas, I fall into some larger container.

Such unforgiving strife doth work us woe,

That our hopes have turn’d grim could not be plainer.

[The large bucket into which Padmé falls is swept away by a machine.

C-3PO

I wonder what became of poor R2,

Who doth excel at finding trouble. Ah!

[C-3PO’s head is removed and replaced with a battle droid head.

I’ve lost mine head or, rather, body too!

I know not which—for where doth sense reside?

Mine eyes still see the foundry, yet themselves

Have not the pow’r to move, and still my feet

Do feel the ground, yet have no pow’r to think!

O, senseless life, when head and trunk are riv’n

In twain, when body is from brain detach’d!

[The machine attaches a battle droid body to C-3PO’s head, resulting in C-3PO 1—C-3PO’s body with a battle droid head—and C-3PO 2, C-3PO’s head with a battle droid body.

C-3PO 1

My body’s fix’d unto another droid!

C-3PO 2

Mine head another body hath assum’d—

Confusion bleak that splits my soul in two!

[Exeunt C-3PO 1 and C-3PO 2.

ANAKIN

The Force is with me here, these beasts to fight:

Yet they are more than even I can stand!

[Anakin falls, and his hand is clamped beneath a steel plate.

I fall—the fiends o’ercome this Jedi Knight!

O, shall I finish’d be by mine own hand?

PADMÉ

This massive barrel shall undo me quite,

For it shall soon with molten lead be fill’d.

O, this shall be a terrifying sight:

A senator outdone by liquid spill’d.

R2-D2

[aside:] Now to it, droid, and do thy fleetest work,

Connect with the machine to make it stop.

[R2-D2 plugs into the machine and stops the molten metal from filling Padmé’s barrel. The barrel is released and falls. Exit R2-D2.

PADMÉ

Sav’d from the heat, but still I’m in the fire:

I fall, and shall some knocks receive, sans doubt.

The barrel crashes—fie!—occasion dire!

Now helplessly, like water, I’m pour’d out.

ANAKIN

The blades upon this belt shall be mine end—

A Jedi split upon a razor’s slice—

Unless I may mine energies expend

And beat this apparatus in a trice.

[Anakin dodges swiftly as a machine cuts his hand free from the steel plate; his lightsaber is destroyed in the process.

My freedom, aye, but not without a cost:

My new lightsaber hath been made unfit.

When we find Obi-Wan, who now is lost,

I’ll face odd quirks and remnants of his wit.

Enter JANGO FETT and several DROIDEKAS, as GEONOSIANS surround PADMÉ.

JANGO

I promise, move once and it shall be your last, Jedi.

You, droidekas, take him away!

[Jango Fett moves aside.

PADMÉ

[aside:] Our journey to find Obi-Wan is o’er,

For sure we’re o’ercome by bitter foes,

The vile assassins who did try before

To end my life may now their death impose.

Aye, truly, it doth seem I make my walk

Unto some tragic and untimely end.

Yet, just as heart should fear and mind should balk,

I fear it not, because love doth suspend

The fear that otherwise would fill my soul.

Indeed, e’en as death looms before mine eyes

Mine heart is by another one made whole:

What I had spurn’d, I now shall recognize.

The battle we have lost, but not the war:

E’en if we die, our love shall have its day.

ANAKIN

Be not afraid, O, lady I adore.

PADMÉ

To die is not what brings mine heart dismay,

For verily mine heart doth daily burn—

A piece of a death arrives with each new sun—

Since thou into my life hast made return.

ANAKIN

What mean’st thou, to what end do thy words run?

PADMÉ

The thing mine heart doth realize at last.

Although it comes too late, do thou hear me:

I love thee, Anakin.

ANAKIN

—Elation vast!

Yet I had thought our love was not to be:

The moment was not right, our love to bloom,

For truly it would mean a life of lies,

Thus bringing to our lives a world of doom.

These were your words, which from your lips did rise.

PADMÉ

The situation dooming us therein

Seems less important since I’ve found my bliss.

I truly, deeply love thee, Anakin.

ANAKIN

Then if we die, we die upon a kiss.

[They kiss as they are led, guarded, into the execution arena.

Enter OBI-WAN KENOBI, bound against a pillar, and cheering SPECTATORS. Enter COUNT DOOKU, JANGO FETT, POGGLE THE LESSER, NUTE GUNRAY, and BOBA FETT on balcony, surveying the scene.

OBI-WAN

My Padawan hath come to save my life—

Mayhap his action doth misguided seem,

Since he and Padmé both arrive in bonds.

Yet I confess their presence is most welcome.

For two shall make a stronger stand than one,

And three shall make a stronger stand than two.

PADMÉ

A clip for holding hair I shall conceal.

Though normally it keeps mine hair aright,

Here shall it yet another purpose serve

And keep my fate aright. Now hide, sly clip.

[Padmé hides the clip in her mouth. She and Anakin are chained to pillars.

OBI-WAN

Fair greetings, eager, faithful Padawan.

I had begun to wonder if, indeed,

The message that I sent had been receiv’d.

ANAKIN

I did, and retransmitted as you said.

’Twas all as you did order, Master, yea,

Until we did decide to rescue you.

OBI-WAN

Thy plan was brave, though Fate had other plans.

And now your fate is bound with mine, in chains.

[Aside:] Why do I prick at him, when he but tried

To serve me a good turn? More thanks he doth

Deserve than this, though his work was in vain.

poggle

[to spectators:] I prithee, viewers all, maintain the peace.

The executions shall commence anon!

spectators

Huzzah!

Enter into the arena three beasts—the ACKLAY, the NEXU, and the REEK—and THEIR KEEPERS.

OBI-WAN

—From bad to worse—what monstrous beasts!

REEK

E’en now are we three met again,

I—thunder, lighting—bring my pain.

ACKLAY

Yea, when the hurlyburly’s done,

A meal we shall have lost or won.

NEXU

That will be ere the set of sun.

REEK

But where the place?

ACKLAY

—E’en here is fine.

NEXU

Aye, here upon these folk to dine.

REEK

I come, the reek, with horns severe,

A coat of armor, sharp as spear,

Such bulk as could destroy a ship,

No creature from my grasp may slip.

ACKLAY

The acklay I, with teeth like knives,

Made for defeating human lives.

Six legs, like iron set with spikes,

I rage and I do as I likes.

NEXU

I am the nexu, small but fierce,

With claws design’d frail flesh to pierce.

Barbs on my back to work you woe,

I’ll catch ye whether swift or slow.

BEASTS

Now foes are food, and food is fair,

Come, blood, through fog and filthy air.

[The beasts approach Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Padmé.

ANAKIN

I have a feeling bad about this, sir.

[Padmé releases one of her bonds with the hidden hair clip and climbs to the top of her pillar.

PADMÉ

Whilst my two friends do gape and wonder so,

Already liberty have I secur’d.

OBI-WAN

Remain thou calm, young Padawan, relax

And concentrate upon the moment.

ANAKIN

—Aye,

But what of Padmé, tender, sweet, and true?

OBI-WAN

It doth appear she’s ris’n above her fear.

ANAKIN

Behold, my clever lady stands atop

The pillar, there the creatures to o’erthrow.

OBI-WAN

Here come the beasts: ’tis either them or us.

[The acklay approaches Obi-Wan, slashing its pincers at him.

ACKLAY

This one is mine, shall be my feast,

I strike at him, my rage releas’d.

O, he is quick and parries me,

Alas, I’ve hit his chains, he’s free!

OBI-WAN

Shalt thou not make a hardier attempt?

To think that I was e’er of thee afeard.

[The acklay and Obi-Wan continue to skirmish as the reek charges toward Anakin.

REEK

I’ll ram the other one anon,

And show him all the reek’s vast brawn.

I’ll double all his toil and trouble,

Until he burns like cauldron bubble.

ANAKIN

This one is not as fearsome as he seems—

O’erleaping him, I land upon his back

Now come, thick chains that bound me to the post,

Around his neck, I’ll ride the beastie yet!

[The nexu approaches Padmé, leaping up the pillar on which she perches.

NEXU

The last is mine, and soft her flesh,

Made for a meal that’s ripe and fresh.

Come down, and fill my belly up,

Today on blood-red meat I’ll sup!

PADMÉ

Down, wretched beast, with fetters do I strike!

I’ll teach to thee a lesson of Naboo—

Come once again and I shall pound thy pate.

O, agony! The beast hath scratch’d my spine!

[The nexu tears into Padmé’s back, and she screams.

NEXU

First blood is mine, ram boldly I,

Once more the pillar I shall try.

NUTE

Ha, ha! The senator is finish’d soon!

OBI-WAN

Mayhap I should this creature not have mock’d,

For now he comes with stamina renew’d!

I roll and dive, yet fear I that, perchance,

His legs of six are four beyond my skill.

JANGO

[to Boba:] Watch well, my son, and thou shalt see
how a Jedi becometh little more than a morsel,
tender and raw.

[The reek knocks Anakin from its back as it continues to charge around the arena.

REEK

I’ll not be topp’d, thus says the reek,

This human’s pow’r o’er me is weak,

I toss him off, and thus he falls,

And now my hunger loudly calls.

ANAKIN

Alas, unseated by this scaly brute,

And now bedragg’d across the turf most harsh.

NEXU

I come again, the dame to eat,

And shortly shall she taste defeat,

Then I shall taste a diff’rent feast:

Provision rare made for a beast!

PADMÉ

Thou hadst thy chance, and took the skin from me,

But thou shalt not receive a second chance.

Aye, climb thou higher, nasty, hairy fiend—

So high thou dost forget how long’s the fall.

[Padmé swings from her perch and kicks the nexu, which falls to the ground, whimpering.

NUTE

This wench is not allow’d to struggle thus!

DOOKU

Methinks, good Viceroy, rules concern her not.

NEXU

I savor, feisty dame, thine hit—

Meat’s richer when one works for it!

OBI-WAN

This many-legged monster ceaseth not,

The pillar to which I was lately fix’d

Hath been knock’d over in its wrath severe.

Yet here, an opportunity arises—

A Geonosian keeper draws too near.

Ha, ha! His pointed spear becometh mine!

[Obi-Wan throws the Geonosian keeper toward the acklay, skewering it on the Geonosian’s spear. Meanwhile, the reek slows its charge and stops dragging Anakin.

ANAKIN

The creature slows its charge, so I may rise,

And now I sense a diff’rence in its mien:

Exhausted by this conflict and these games,

It may a Jedi’s calmer mind obey.

I prithee, listen, animal of might:

I do not seek to thee domesticate,

For thou art independent, stout, and stern,

I only ask to see me as thine equal.

We two shall ride as one, my gallant steed,

And give thy brutal masters cause to fear.

REEK

His reason speaks a noble word—

Thus he and I shall make a herd.

[Anakin mounts the reek.

ANAKIN

He that knows better how to tame a beast,

Now let him speak; ’tis charity to show.

PADMÉ

These fetters I’ll unfetter and be free,

With both hands loose I shall succeed perforce.

NEXU

My third attempt shall be the last,

Prepare thou to be my repast.

[Anakin’s reek charges at and strikes the nexu, killing it.

PADMÉ

O, Anakin, my savior and my love!

ANAKIN

Forgive me, lady, for my sore delay,

’Twas one or two small matters kept me, dove.

Leap down and share a merry ride, I pray.

[She jumps down onto the reek, behind Anakin, while Obi-Wan brandishes his spear against the acklay.

OBI-WAN

Thou monster, now we have a fairer right,

Thou hast thy pincers, aye, and I have mine.

ACKLAY

Shall acklay be the only beast

Who shall today enjoy a feast?

Well, to it, then, and let us fight:

Your death shall sate mine appetite!

OBI-WAN

Thou hast the disadvantage, reckless brute,

For while thy points are all attach’d to thee,

My spear shall fly and hit thee ’neath thy plates.

[Obi-Wan throws his spear at the acklay, wounding it in the shoulder.

ACKLAY

A simple prick shall not suffice,

If thou dost needle, in a trice

I’ll match thy stickers quid pro quo

And watch your blood begin to flow.

OBI-WAN

’Tis good to know when holding maketh sense,

’Tis better yet to know when one should fold,

’Tis best to know when one should walk away,

Yet now the time hath come for me to run!

I’ll join the others—yea, no gambler I!

[Obi-Wan runs and jumps onto the reek, behind Padmé.

NUTE

’Tis not the script that I did write for her—

She should be in a monster’s gut ere now!

Pray, Jango, go, and finish her anon!

DOOKU

All patience, Viceroy—she shall surely die.

Enter DROIDEKAS.

OBI-WAN

From worse to worst, we are surrounded.

ANAKIN

—Fie!

Methought our freedom almost was acquir’d.

Enter MACE WINDU on balcony, brandishing his lightsaber against JANGO FETT, as many JEDI, including KI-ADI-MUNDI, rush into the arena below. GEONOSIANS flee the arena.

MACE

Bear witness, old boy, your plot is o’erthrown.

DOOKU

Bold Master Windu, all my gratitude

I bear to you for joining us herein.

MACE

This produce is pulp; fiction is your plan.

To put it plain: your reign of terror ends.

DOOKU

’Tis brave, yet foolish, mine old Jedi friend.

You are outnumber’d far beyond your ken.

MACE

I think not. Soon you shall be in a cell,

Or mayhap dead: it matters not to me.

DOOKU

We shall both see what twists Fate knits for us.

Enter a large battalion of BATTLE DROIDS, including C-3PO 1 in the ranks, attacking.

JANGO

Inflam’d my passion is—thus may you die in flames,

Jedi!

[Jango shoots flames at Mace, who leaps to the stage.

MACE

Behold, how like a kite I do descend—

I hover on, propell’d by Windu’s Force.

OBI-WAN

With hope renew’d we fight this battle grand,

New lightsabers provided by our friends!

C-3PO 1

Alas, I cannot feel my legs aright—

Mayhap I have a need for maintenance.

[A blast knocks Anakin, Padmé, and Obi-Wan from the reek’s back.

ANAKIN

[to reek:] My sturdy mount, I thank thee for thine aid,

Flee now at once, and hope speed thee away.

REEK

A battle is no place for me,

Thus reek shall turn his tail and flee.

[Exit the reek.

PADMÉ

A chariot doth nearly run me o’er,

I’ll leap in, throw the driver out of joint!

[Padmé leaps onto a passing chariot, subduing its driver and taking the reins.

ANAKIN

My lady, I shall join thee thereupon

To battle from a better vantage point.

Enter more BATTLE DROIDS, with C-3PO 2 in the ranks.

C-3PO 2

What is this noise that clatters in mine ears?

A battle—O, alas, take me therefrom!

Yet do these legs, these stubborn borrow’d legs

Propel mine head where I’d not wish to go!

O, grave mistake—I am not programm’d for

Destruction, nay, but merely etiquette!

C-3PO 1

I shoot, the Jedi vermin to destroy,

But, O, here comes a shot toward mine head!

[A ricocheting blaster fire destroys C-3PO 1’s battle droid head, as his body falls to the ground.

OBI-WAN

We are outnumber’d sorely in this fight!

JANGO

These Jedi are no match for Jango Fett. Feel the fire of
my blaster, Jedi scum, as your candle I do snuff! Down
below hath Windu fallen—these other Jedi being no
match for me, I’ll seek him out and try him in the field.

[Jango flies to the stage, facing off with Mace.

Enter the REEK, charging at JANGO FETT.

REEK

The reek doth charge again, my friends,

And for my rage I’ll make amends.

Charge at this one who works you woe,

That he may feel the reek’s harsh blow.

JANGO

’Sblood, this beast doth run o’er me as one with the
strength of a hundred bulls! Now doth it mean to charge
on me again. Thou may’st have knock’d me down once,
monster, yet no one hath e’er twice brought me defeat.

[Jango fires at the reek, killing it.

MACE

Unjustly done, the noble steed to slay!

Now thou shalt die hard; with a vengeance comes

Mace Windu boldly—lay on, Jango Fett!

JANGO

How quick he comes, with speed both vast and harsh.

Mine ev’ry shot he doth avoid, as though I were but a
child’s plaything to him. E’en closer now, and closer—fie!

This is the end, aye, here falleth the Fett.

[Mace cuts off Jango’s head and then looks to Count Dooku.

DOOKU

My bounty hunter quite undone. Methinks

This may portend the changing of the tide

Of battle. See how Master Windu doth

Behold me with his eyes of burnish’d steel.

BOBA

Behold I this foul scene with the eyes of a child.

Must I now grow into a man at once? My father,
cruelly murder’d by this Jedi. Remember this moment,

Boba, and let it mark thine ev’ry footstep forward.

My father shall be aveng’d, and I, in time, shall take
his place as the most vicious bounty hunter that e’er
did roam the galaxy. Learn this lesson, Jedi: like the
wild, unruly hydra, you cannot strike the head from
the Fetts but another shall grow in its place.

[Exit Boba.

C-3PO 2

Die, Jedi dogs! Alas, what did I say?

I am so sorry for my body’s actions,

This is beyond all proper protocol!

[A Jedi uses the Force to knock down C-3PO 2, and another battle droid falls slain on top of him.

Beg pardon, I am trapp’d. Might someone help?

PADMÉ

Our chariot’s destroy’d but we fight on,

Belike the battle turns toward our gain.

ANAKIN

Our adversaries may soon be withdrawn:

Perchance our struggle hath not been in vain.

But justify thy words, belovèd, please:

Is this thy “diplomatic end,” I ask?

PADMÉ

“Determinèd negotiations,” these!

Thy words were better suited for this task.

[The acklay approaches Obi-Wan from behind, unbeknownst to him.

OBI-WAN

I fight these battle droids, and now they flee—

What fear doth shake them? Certainly, not I?

ACKLAY

Here is the one who did me wrong,

Who prick’d me with a bitter prong.

Yet I shall do him better still:

His life or mine, aye, come what will!

OBI-WAN

The beast hath come again to pay his debts!

But little doth he know my newfound strength:

When he did seek to slay me earlier,

I had no lightsaber and was not whole.

Taste thou the flaming touch of Jedi’s sword!

I’ll take these legs one at a time from thee,

Sweep underneath and cut thee down to size!

[Obi-Wan runs under the acklay, cutting off its legs as he goes, and then runs it through.

ACKLAY

A bitter pain, a monster’s trick,

He injureth me to the quick.

The acklay’s life shall be no more,

He triumphs where none hath before.

[The acklay dies.

Enter R2-D2.

R2-D2

[aside:] The battle is laid out on ev’ry side,

As Jedi strong with battle droids conflict.

How wide the skirmish, yet may I, a droid,

Pass safely through for none think me a threat.

How may I render service to my friends?

Ah, there is my companion, Threepio,

Upended on the field, awaiting aid.

Since I did bring C-3PO to this,

’Tis meet that I remove him from it, too.

[R2-D2 approaches C-3PO 2.

[To C-3PO 2:] Beep, meep!

C-3PO 2

—O, R2, wherefore art thou here?

R2-D2

Meep, whistle, squeak!

C-3PO 2

—What art thou doing, droid?

[R2-D2 releases a magnet and attaches it to C-3PO 2’s head, removing the head from the battle droid body.

Cease this at once, thou shalt my circuits strain.

My neck—alack! Once more my body’s gone.

At least this time I have not lost mine head!

Where shalt thou take me, dragging me along?

R2-D2

Beep, whistle, meep, beep, hoo, meep, whistle, nee!

[R2-D2 pulls C-3PO 2’s head next to C-3PO 1’s body, joining them once more.

C-3PO

Was e’er a droid beside himself as I?

Take thou good care, R2, as thou fix’st me!

I would not scorchèd be by thy repairs.

’Tis better, aye, yet is mine head aright?

OBI-WAN

The battle presses in, and we are ta’en!

There are too many of them to succeed.

ANAKIN

You are correct, good Master, for our plight

Looks dismal by the light of droidly fire.

MACE

The deep blue sea hath not such magnitude

As all these battle droids, which come sans end.

DOOKU

By my command, I end this gross attack.

Cease droids, that I may speak unto the Jedi.

[The battle droids draw up their weapons and stop approaching.

Brash Master Windu, gallantly you’ve fought,

And shall one day remember’d be within

The Jedi archives’ thorough history.

Yet now the battle’s finish’d. Make surrender,

And you may spare your humble, little lives.

MACE

We Jedi Knights shall ne’er be subject to

The sad, false law and order you would bring,

And neither shall we serve as hostages.

We are not coins with which you may acquire

A vast Republic. Nay, Count Dooku, ne’er.

DOOKU

You have bought mine apologies, old friend,

And purchas’d in the deal your own quick deaths.

PADMÉ

Behold, above—how many ships do come!

Enter YODA with ships full of CLONE TROOPERS. Enter RUMOR severally.

RUMOR

Forsooth, full many ships fly on the scene,

O’er all the heads of the combatants here.

Resounding, like the noise of a machine,

Surrounding all, they bring both hope and fear.

O’er all the clones doth Yoda take the lead,

On deck he standeth, ready for the fight.

The ships of clones do meet the Jedi need:

Here strike they now the battle droids with might.

Confusion in your mind mayhap doth rise:

O, how sly Rumor tangles up your mind!

Naught knew Count Dooku of the clone surprise,

For he believ’d they were to him assign’d.

Until good Obi-Wan Kamino found,

Sith plann’d to use the clones as their own force.

Instead, the Jedi did these plans confound—

Or so it seems, yet Rumor hath her course.

Now you may think the Jedi have a strength

Above whatever foes they e’er have fac’d.

But do remember that the clones, at length,

On the Republic’s rolls shall soon be plac’d.

Use your imagination: if the Sith

Nigh run th’Republic, e’en as Dooku said,

Disaster to the Jedi comes forthwith:

Soon this clone army shall by Sith be led.

Here to the Jedi comes, all unforeseen,

Events that shall undo them through and through.

Result shall be a hapless closing scene:

E’en Jedi can’t escape a Rumor true.

[Exit Rumor.

YODA

[to troopers:] Around our allies,

Those who have surviv’d thus far,

A margin create.

OBI-WAN

These blessèd ships unto our rescue come!

Behold how with a shocking potency

They blast the enemy to kingdom come.

I find myself imbued with gratitude

For their most sudden advent on the scene.

The strength they bring is vast and measureless—

Perhaps could conquer galaxies entire.

What would befall were they not on our side?

I hope I ne’er shall witness such a day.

PADMÉ

Make haste, good Jedi all, for we must flee.

ANAKIN

Unto the ships we go—we fly anon!

DOOKU

This interruption’s unexpected, aye,

Yet may still run unto our broader purpose.

[Exeunt Count Dooku, Nute Gunray, and Poggle the Lesser from balcony.

YODA

If Dooku escapes,

Rally ever more systems

To his cause he shall!

[Exeunt combatants from the field. The ships holding clone troopers fly away, including a ship containing Yoda, Mace, Ki-Adi, and other Jedi and another ship containing Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Padmé. Only C-3PO and R2-D2 remain onstage.

C-3PO

Have they all stolen hence, left me asleep?

R2, I’ve had a most rare vision, yea:

I’ve had a dream, past wit of droid to say

What dream it was: aye, I were but an akk,

If I did go about t’expound this dream.

Methought I was—yet no droid can tell what.

Methought I was—and too, methought I had—

But I am but a patchèd fool, if I

Will offer to say what methought I had.

The eyes of droids have never heard, the ears

Of droids have never seen, droids’ circuitry

Not able been to sense, nor programming

Conceive, nor e’en droids’ core to make report,

What my dream was. I’ll speak no more of it.

R2-D2

[aside:] It seems the droid hath bottom’d out his sense.

Fear not, C-3PO, I’ll guide thee hence.

[Exeunt.

SCENE 2.

On the planet Geonosis.

Enter YODA with CLONE TROOPERS 1 and 2.

TROOPER 1

Small Master Yoda, hear my meek report:

All forward sites are making their advances.

YODA

Forsooth, very good.

I shall unto the center

Of command make way.

Pray, concentrate fire

On the starship nearest by.

Thus succeed shall we.

TROOPER 1

Indeed, good Master Jedi. [To Trooper 2:] Now, sirrah,

Move quadrants all to sector five fifteen.

[Exeunt.

Enter OBI-WAN KENOBI, ANAKIN SKYWALKER, PADMÉ, and CLONE TROOPERS 3 and 4 on balcony, in ship.

OBI-WAN

Take care, good friends, and hold fast to the ship.

ANAKIN

[to Trooper 3:] Aim just above the fuel cells, so we may

Destroy these foundries and confound our foes.

OBI-WAN

Thine instincts serve thee well, young Padawan.

I prithee let us fly and make attack

Upon the Federation starships, quick!

PADMÉ

O, how the battle rages down below!

The battle droids array’d both small and large,

With droidekas beside them in the fight.

Behold how they assault with armor’d tanks,

Contraptions spinning with enormous wheels,

Swift flying drones that soar toward their marks,

With missiles, lasers, blasters, which illume

The sky. See lights of blue and red twixt us

And them, an ’twere a pyrotechnic show.

Yet still the troopers on our side strive on,

Destroying one of their vast starships, look—

A sandstorm furious it doth create!

Our dauntless troopers move into the fray,

O’ercoming all the droids by higher sums:

The battle, which doth seem a clash betwixt

Two massive armies, equal in their strength,

Belike ’tis, finally, a numbers game.

They continue to fly. Enter COUNT DOOKU, NUTE GUNRAY, POGGLE THE LESSER, and other GEONOSIANS in the command center.

NUTE

The Jedi have amass’d an army vast!

DOOKU

That seemeth most impossible, for how

Could they a force so quickly generate?

NUTE

With ev’ry droid available we’ll strike.

DOOKU

There are too many troops against us here.

poggle

Besides, communications have been block’d.

NUTE

This situation bodes not well for us—

The starships must return to space anon.

[Exit Nute.

poggle

Our only option now is to retreat.

DOOKU

My master strong shall never tolerate

Republic and its treachery herein.

poggle

Death doth await us here if we do stay.

E’en more, we shall lose something even more:

All warriors shall flee to th’catacombs.

Thus shall the Jedi never find the thing

Hid shrewdly here on Geonosis, yea—

Safeguarded plans for weapon ultimate

That shall th’Republic shatter once complete.

Aye, were they to discover these designs,

Receive a traitor’s doom we surely would.

DOOKU

You may entrust me with those sly designs;

I shall take them along to Coruscant.

In safety with my master they’ll reside.

Now, let us ride and join the battle, comrades!

[Count Dooku and two Geonosians board speeder bikes and fly from the command center. Exeunt Poggle the Lesser and other Geonosians.

OBI-WAN

Observe below!

ANAKIN

—’Tis Dooku! Shoot him down.

TROOPER 3

The rockets all are spent.

ANAKIN

—Then follow on!

PADMÉ

The man is full of might and fury, too:

We shall need help to overcome his pow’r.

OBI-WAN

Yet neither time nor help we have enough:

If we do wait for help, the time is past.

I’ll warrant Anakin and I can stop

Count Dooku—we are ample time and help.

DOOKU

I sense ’tis Jedi who do trail me now.

Companions, fall behind whilst they give chase.

[The Geonosians fall away from Dooku and take position on the other side of the balcony.

ANAKIN

Alas, now come the blasts behind us, fie!

Our ship is harshly struck!

PADMÉ

—I fall once more!

[Padmé and Clone Trooper 4 fall from the balcony onto the sand of Geonosis. Exeunt Count Dooku and Geonosians into a tower hangar.

ANAKIN

Nay—Padmé! Prithee, land this ship anon!

OBI-WAN

Let not thy feelings personal betray

Our mission, Anakin. [To trooper pilot:] The speeder
still

Pursue, for ’tis our one and only aim.

ANAKIN

Nay, lower down the ship.

OBI-WAN

—I’ll ne’er defeat

Count Dooku by myself, for he is skill’d

With some dark, unimaginable strength!

I need thee, Anakin: if we can catch

The man, belike this war shall quickly end.

We have employment most essential, which

Doth supersede thy private interests!

ANAKIN

I care not for your mission or your war—

’Tis Padmé who doth stir mine only thoughts.

The ship must land!

OBI-WAN

—Thou shalt excluded be

From our strong Jedi Order. Car’st thou not?

ANAKIN

I cannot leave my love in such a state.

OBI-WAN

Speak thou with sense: let reason fill thy mind.

How dost thou think thy Padmé would comport

Herself, if she were fac’d with such a choice?

ANAKIN

She would her duty serve in ev’ry thing.

OBI-WAN

Thus thou shalt too, and so we hurry on—

Toward the tower whither Dooku fled!

[Exeunt Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Clone Trooper 3.

Enter YODA below, aside with CLONE TROOPER 1.

YODA

Such tension sense I,

Betwixt Obi-Wan and his

Brave young Anakin.

TROOPER 1

The army of the droids doth make retreat.

YODA

Well done, Commander.

Bring me a ship, that I may

Make pursuit anon.

[Exit Clone Trooper 1.

This feeling shaketh

E’en to my very spirit:

Not well it bodeth.

[Exit Yoda.

TROOPER 4

Dear lady, are you injur’d?

PADMÉ

—Nay, sirrah.

TROOPER 4

With all due haste we should make way unto

The forward center of command, e’en now.

PADMÉ

Nay, hear thou my command, brave trooper: we

Shall go unto the hangar in a trice.

I prithee, find a transport we may use!

TROOPER 4

’Tis done, my lady, e’en as you command it.

[Exit Clone Trooper 4.

PADMÉ

Mine Anakin, my love, did leave me here,

Ne’er knowing what web Fate had spun for me.

Was this some oversight of love most blind,

Or did he, in the instant, choose some path

That led him hence, e’en from his fallen love?

Nay, I’d not have it so: the man is true.

We must not let our passion override

Our sense, which knoweth that to which ’tis call’d.

Belike his duty did inform his acts,

Responsibility his movements urg’d.

Do not mistrust thine heart’s own second half,

O, Padmé: he is truer far beyond

Thyself, for thou dost doubt whilst he doth serve.

Be still, then, fear, and rally to his cause:

Sweet Anakin, I come unto thine aid,

Ne’ermore to doubt the love thou hast display’d.

[Exit Padmé.

SCENE 3.

On the planet Geonosis in the tower hangar.

Enter COUNT DOOKU.

DOOKU

The army of the clones hath been reveal’d

Far sooner than my master did design,

Yet it shall be of little consequence.

His plan is perfectly constructed, not

To be disrupted by such accidents.

The Jedi make pursuit, and shall anon

Be here. I greet the fight to come with glee,

For they shall witness power far beyond

Their expectation and their knowledge, yea.

This day the dark side of the Force shall be

Made plain for all to see, and Obi-Wan—

So saturated with a Jedi’s pride—

And his naïve, young, sniv’ling Padawan

Shall know the dread that from the dark side comes.

What joy, to have a potent hand in this,

What bliss, this frightful faculty to wield,

What ecstasy, my master’s will to serve,

What pleasure, to unveil his awful might.

The Jedi come and soon the Jedi pass,

And thus the Sith shall dominate the scene.

Enter OBI-WAN KENOBI and ANAKIN SKYWALKER.

ANAKIN

You shall make ample recompense for all

Those Jedi whom you slaughter’d here today.

OBI-WAN

Let us take him together, Anakin.

Proceed thou left—

ANAKIN

—Nay, I shall take him now!

OBI-WAN

O, quick, impulsive rush of reckless youth!

DOOKU

If thou wouldst move as swift as lightning, boy,

Thou dost a taste of lightning’s touch deserve.

[Count Dooku strikes Anakin with lightning from his hands, felling him.

You see, bold Obi-Wan, my Jedi pow’rs

Are greater far than yours: surrender, then.

OBI-WAN

It shall not be. Your lightning doth impress,

Yet I believe your thunder is but noise.

[They duel.

DOOKU

Rash Master Obi-Wan, you disappoint:

Your strength is weak, though Yoda doth place you

In such a high esteem. Have you no more?

Can you not best an old man as myself?

OBI-WAN

[aside:] What gift of darkness here he doth display—

Such terrible and wondrous vigor. Fie!

The man is far more powerful than I.

DOOKU

Feel now the wrath of my lightsaber’s sting.

[Count Dooku hits Obi-Wan on the arm and leg with his lightsaber, cutting him. Obi-Wan falls to the ground.

This final blow doth end you, Obi-Wan.

ANAKIN

Yet not whilst I have life or breath to move!

If you would slay my master, you should know

I stand athwart the passage thither, rogue,

And you must make your wicked way past me.

[Anakin jumps in and blocks Dooku’s lightsaber as Dooku prepares to slay Obi-Wan.

DOOKU

’Tis brave, young one, yet I would think thou hadst

Thy lesson learn’d. Shall I school thee again?

ANAKIN

For certain I am but a pupil slow

To learn, especially from teachers vile.

OBI-WAN

Good Anakin—take thou my lightsaber!

Mine arms may not assist thee, so take thou

Their natural extension, Padawan!

[Obi-Wan throws his lightsaber to Anakin, who begins dueling Count Dooku with a lightsaber in each hand.

DOOKU

This double threat is merely double chance,

And twice the opportunity for me.

Yet feel my blast, and double now is single!

Thy lightsaber in twain, upon my stroke.

[Dooku cuts one of Anakin’s lightsabers in two. They continue to duel.

ANAKIN

A single death shall be enough for you!

DOOKU

[aside:] The boy hath might—the Force is strong with him,

Indeed he doth begin to wear on me,

Yet I shall conquer him with greater vigor.

I shall not strike him down, but teach to him

A lesson that he shall not soon forget.

[Count Dooku uses his lightsaber to cut off Anakin’s arm and throw him backward, near Obi-Wan.

ANAKIN

Alack! Mine arm, cut off before its time—

O, cruelty, O, bitter agony!

Pray, Master, do forgive, I am unarm’d

And have no tool with which to make defense.

Pray, Master, do forgive, I am disarm’d,

And cannot fight to save you or myself.

How shall I hold my Padmé’s hand in mine,

How shall I stroke her hair of softest strands,

How shall I feel the smoothness in her cheek,

How shall I wrap her in a fond embrace?

O, arm, mine instrument of youthful love,

How shall I woo without thee by my side?

DOOKU

The battle now is done, and I may flee.

Enter YODA.

Old Master Yoda, have you come as well?

Shall you, like these two frail and fractur’d men,

Have your days number’d by the crafty count?

Your Jedi Order weak hath interfer’d

In our affairs but one too many times.

The sum is this: we shall your ranks divide

And multiply your suffering sans end.

[Count Dooku uses the Force to break off pieces of the hangar, sending them hurling toward Yoda. Yoda uses the Force to hold them at bay.

YODA

Indeed, ’tis certain:

Powerful you are, Dooku.

The dark side I sense.

Yet your figures fail—

All adds not up as you see—

For the Force mine is.

Your equation’s wrong,

For integral the Force is:

On this you may count.

DOOKU

I calculate my powers rise above

The quantity in any Jedi Knight.

Naught in the galaxy shall e’er subtract

My strength, which runs toward infinity.

E’en you cannot withstand my total pow’r.

[Count Dooku releases lightning from his hands, which Yoda deflects.

YODA

Much to learn you have,

Your dark shall ne’er outnumber

Mine arithmetic.

DOOKU

’Tis obvious this fight shall not be won

By tallying our knowledge of the Force,

But by some other calculus, indeed.

Lightsabers may test our equality,

Then shall we see who’s greater and who’s less.

[Yoda and Count Dooku duel.

YODA

I skip and parry,

Soar as I have for e’en more

Than eight hundred years.

DOOKU

[aside:] His speed: how unexpected and profound!

His skill: beyond the measure of a man!

His energy: near inconceivable!

His grace: how like an angel doth he fly!

I cannot win this contest, now I know—

Though I with all my dark arts skillful am,

It seems he is of dark and light combin’d,

The owner of the rainbow’s very glow,

With wisdom far surpassing all the world.

YODA

Fought ably you have,

Former Padawan of mine,

Yet I am Master.

DOOKU

This is but the beginning, Yoda, aye—

Your love of others shall be your undoing!

[Count Dooku uses the Force to knock one of the hangar’s columns onto Obi-Wan and Anakin.

OBI-WAN

Alas, this is the end—the rocks and things

That Dooku threw toward him once before

Are nothing next to this vast pillar. O,

My spirit, be prepar’d to meet thy death!

YODA

Enormous it is

Only if with eyes I look;

The Force better sees.

[Exit Count Dooku as Yoda uses the Force to catch the column and throw it aside.

OBI-WAN

Immense authority in one so small,

I ne’er would have believ’d it possible.

My life he spares to live another day—

He shall not yet see Obi-Wan as ghost.

YODA

[aside:] Now worse matters are,

This grim pow’r a threat portends:

Dark from dark shall come.

Enter PADMÉ with a battalion of CLONE TROOPERS.

PADMÉ

O, Anakin, how art thou sore abus’d!

ANAKIN

My Padmé sweet, thou art alive and well,

And I am thine, though by the dark side us’d.

PADMÉ

Together we shall journey through this hell.

OBI-WAN

[aside to Yoda:] These protestations of affection ring

Most dissonantly on mine ears, and yet

They hold no great surprise. Mayhap we were

Unwise to let these two become so close.

YODA

’Tis he must decide—

His love or the Jedi path—

A choice he now hath.

[Exeunt.

SCENE 4.

On the planet Coruscant.

Enter DARTH SIDIOUS and COUNT DOOKU on balcony.

DOOKU

The Force is with us, Master Sidious.

SIDIOUS

I welcome thee with joy, brave Lord Tyranus.

You have serv’d well in ev’ry matter and

Deserve thy master’s commendation rich.

DOOKU

’Tis privilege to serve, Darth Sidious.

Moreover, Master, I share this report:

The war begins, which we two did design.

SIDIOUS

Most excellent, astute apprentice mine.

All doth proceed exactly as I’ve plann’d.

[Exeunt.

Enter YODA, MACE WINDU, and OBI-WAN KENOBI in the Jedi temple.

OBI-WAN

Brave masters both, think ye it may be true—

What Dooku said of Sidious’ complete

Control o’er all the Senate? Can it be?

YODA

Join’d with the dark side

Count Dooku hath, verily.

Certain that much is.

Lying, deceiving,

Scheming, fomenting mistrust:

These are now his ways.

MACE

’Tis possible his words no cleaner than

The dung of bantha are—yet still methinks

Perforce the Senate must be closer watch’d.

YODA

Yea, Master Windu,

Mine opinion and your own

One and the same are.

MACE

Where is your keen apprentice, Anakin—

Hath he been plung’d into a sea of love?

OBI-WAN

He hath escorted Amidala home,

Back to the planet of Naboo they go.

What there his actions are, I cannot say.

But, sir, about this recent battle I

Have thought at length: without the clones it were

Republic loss, and not a victory.

YODA

“Victory,” say you?

’Tis no noble victory,

Master Obi-Wan.

The dark side’s curtain

Falls gloomily o’er our play;

The Clone War begins.

[Obi-Wan comes forward as the others freeze.

Enter ANAKIN SKYWALKER and PADMÉ on balcony.

ANAKIN

New fear o’er the Republic settles fast,

As by our enemies we are disarm’d.

Deceit and cunning fall on ev’ry side,

And rumor of an unknown threat doth grow.

PADMÉ

Along the way, some learn’d to speak in love,

And others learn’d the cost of arrogance.

Some teachers found that they had much to learn,

Whilst learners overtook their masters true.

OBI-WAN

Disruption and mistrust do grow as weeds,

A bitter atmosphere for the Republic.

The star wars we must wage begin—’tis clear—

As all our certainty doth turn to fear.

Enter CHORUS as epilogue.

CHORUS

Our play doth end upon a fretful note,

As worry o’er the dark side doth pervade:

The evil Sith their wicked plans promote

Whilst Yoda and Mace Windu are dismay’d.

The clones in their battalions are a sight:

Their hundreds and their thousands fall in line.

Against the legions of the droids they’ll fight;

The galaxy in conflict they entwine.

Upon Naboo, a hopeful final scene,

With Padmé married to her Anakin.

His arm hath been restor’d, though ’tis machine,

Their love doth bloom while war comes creeping in.

There, worthy friends, our drama ends forthwith,

Before revenge is taken by the Sith.

[Exeunt omnes.

END.

AFTERWORD.

Two classic theatrical devices seem tailor made for this adaptation of Attack of the Clones, with its knotty twists of who’s good and who’s bad, who knows what and who doesn’t, and who trusts and doesn’t trust whom. The first is Rumor, whom I borrowed from Shakespeare’s Henry IV, Part 2 for use in William Shakespeare’s The Phantom of Menace. Rumor’s job is to build confusion and mistrust, which is perfect for this tale, in which confusion and mistrust are the order of the day. Second, we have the ancient Greek character of the Moirai, which translates into English as the Fates. They appear regularly through William Shakespeare’s The Clone Army Attacketh, though I’ve condensed them to a single Fate. The Fates, of course, spin threads of destiny for each of us. They can turn anyone’s thread into a complex web, or cut the thread short at any moment. This notion resonates perfectly with Attack of the Clones, which weaves webs of plot as complex as any the Fates ever spun.

The relationship between Padmé and Anakin is central to the prequels, and a key piece of that relationship is Padmé’s transition from thinking of Anakin as a boy to seeing him as a man and, finally, as a lover. My hope was to make their wooing believable and romantic, and to that end I made three decisions. First, the interactions during which Padmé and Anakin fall in love—which occur across a few separate scenes in Attack of the Clones—become a single, longer scene in William Shakespeare’s The Clone Army Attacketh. Specifically, Act III, scene 1, a central section of the story. Second, I wanted the strength of Shakespeare’s romantic plotlines to surround and embrace Padmé and Anakin. That large scene, therefore, includes lines spoken by characters from each of Shakespeare’s comedies—and, for good measure, Romeo and Juliet. Finally, once the stage directions indicate that Padmé and Anakin touch for the first time, the two speak together in rhyming quatrains—four lines with an ABAB rhyme scheme—as did Romeo and Juliet. (I gave Han and Leia the same rhyming pattern in The Empire Striketh Back and The Jedi Doth Return. But Padmé and Anakin are alone with each other much more often than Han and Leia are, so their lines rhyme far more frequently.)

As this series progresses, I am having more and more fun playing with language, hiding things here and there, just having a big ol’ geeky time. In The Clone Army Attacketh, two word games are based on the idea of cloning. First, Jango Fett speaks in prose, as does his son Boba Fett in the original William Shakespeare’s Star Wars trilogy. And, just for kicks, each of Jango’s sentences begins and ends with the same letter. Why? He is the prototype of all the clones, so the first letter of the sentence is cloned at the end. (This is also the case when any clone troopers speak, though they speak in iambic pentameter.) Second, for the cloners on Kamino I wanted to do something extra special. The memorable characters Lama Su and Taun We appear in only one long scene—split into a few shots—in Attack of the Clones. For their scene here, I took a page from Douglas Hofstadter, author of the book Gödel, Escher, Bach, and his palindromelike “Crab Canon” dialogue. The structure of the cloners’ dialogue uniquely shows off their ability to clone: each line of iambic pentameter they speak is repeated later, in reverse, so that their lines follow an ABCDEDCBA structure. (Only the punctuation changes.) The center of their speech is Lama Su’s lengthy explanation of the clones and the process of making them. After that, Lama Su’s and Taun We’s lines begin repeating, in the opposite order in which we first heard them. Following in this structure was tricky, but it brought deep satisfaction to my inner nerd.

Other character tidbits to look for: Dexter Jettster, the four-armed proprietor of Dex’s Diner, uses some sort of arm, hand, or finger imagery in every line he speaks, a little nod to the fact that he has more arms than the rest of us (and is therefore dexterous!). When C-3PO’s body is put on a battle droid head and his head is attached to a battle droid body, he becomes C-3PO 1 and C-3PO 2, respectively. The three beasts in the execution arena on Geonosis—the reek, the acklay, and the nexu—take after Macbeth’s three witches, complete with rhyming couplets and iambic tetrameter.

I hope you find as much geeky fun reading William Shakespeare’s The Clone Army Attacketh as I had putting geeky fun into it. If so, we might (geekily) say my fun has been cloned in you, dear reader.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS.

This book was written while my family and I spent time on North Ronaldsay, the northernmost of Scotland’s Orkney Islands. Thank you to everyone on the island for the gift of hospitality, particularly our hosts, Helga and Michael Scott and baby Isabella, and Jimmy Craigie, who kept us moving.

Thanks to my parents, Beth and Bob Doescher, my brother Erik and his family Em, Aracelli, and Addison, and my aunt Holly Havens. Thank you, always, to Josh Hicks and to Murray Biggs.

Thank you to the wonderful people of Quirk Books: Jason Rekulak, Rick Chillot, Nicole De Jackmo, Suzanne Wallace, Eric Smith, Brett Cohen, Jane Morley, Tim O’Donnell, and everyone else at Quirk. This is book number five with Quirk, and they manage to keep it fun. Thank you to my agent, Adriann Ranta, for Yoda-like guidance and support. Thank you to Jennifer Heddle at Lucasfilm for making this an enjoyable process and to illustrator Nicolas Delort for making the books shine.

Thank you to the people whom I always thank, because they are always wonderful: Heidi Altman and Scott Roehm, Emmy Betz and Michael Hoke, Jane Bidwell, Travis Boeh and Sarah Woodburn, Chris Buehler and Marian Hammond, Erin and Nathan Buehler, Jeff and Caryl Creswell, Ken Evers-Hood, Mark Fordice, Chris Frimoth, Alana Garrigues, Brian Heron, Jim and Nancy Hicks, Anne Huebsch, Apricot and David Irving, Doree Jarboe, Alexis Kaushansky, Bobby Lopez, Chris and Andrea Martin, Jessica Mason, Bruce McDonald, Joan and Grady Miller, Jim Moiso, Janice Morgan, Michael Morrill and Tara Schuster, Dave Nieuwstraten, Omid Nooshin, Bill Rauch, Julia Rodriguez-O’Donnell, Larry Rothe, Kristy Thompson, Naomi Walcott and Audu Besmer, Steve Weeks, Ryan Wilmot, Ben and Katie Wire, Ethan Youngerman and Rebecca Lessem, Dan Zehr, and members of the 501st Legion.

To my spouse, Jennifer, and our children, Liam and Graham: thank you. I love you three dearly, and if I could clone you…well, I wouldn’t. Because that would just be weird.

WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE (1564–1616) was a poet and playwright. He is widely considered one of the greatest writers in the English language.

GEORGE LUCAS is a film producer, screenwriter, director, and the creator of the Star Wars motion picture saga. He lives in California.

IAN DOESCHER is the New York Times best-selling author of William Shakespeare’s Star Wars. He lives in Portland, Oregon, with his family. Visit him at IanDoescher.com.