Mother by Design: Lily's Expecting\Rachel's Bundle of Joy\Jenna's Having a Baby
Date: 2004-05-02 04:00:00+00:00
Keywords: Romance; Contemporary; Anthologies
Description: Taking destiny in hand, three women were determined to have families of their own...but never expected true love to be part of the bargain! Nurses Rachel, Lily and Jenna never thought meeting Mr. Right would be so tough. After all, they were smart, attractive and surrounded every day by the sexy doctors at Portland General Hospital. As their biological clocks grew louder, all three decided it was time--husband or no--to have babies of their own. But pregnancy tested their friendship in ways they never thought possible...and made the notion of happily ever after seem out of reach. Of course, dr
Publisher: Silhouette Desire
Rights: Copyright © 2006 by Susan Macias Redmond

SUSAN MALLERY

Susan Mallery Bundle

Contents

Sizzling

Delicious

Irresistible

Coming Next Month

SUSAN MALLERY

Sizzling

CONTENTS

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER TEN

CHAPTER ELEVEN

CHAPTER TWELVE

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

CHAPTER NINETEEN

CHAPTER TWENTY

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

CHAPTER ONE

UNTIL 6:45 ON THAT Thursday morning, women had always loved Reid Buchanan.

They’d started leaving notes in his locker long before he’d figured out the opposite sex could be anything but annoying. During his sophomore year of high school, his hormones had kicked in and he’d become aware of all the possibilities. Over spring break of that year, Misty O’Connell, a senior, seduced him in her parents’ basement on a rainy Seattle afternoon, during an MTV Real World marathon.

He’d adored women from that moment on and they had returned his affection. Until today, when he casually opened the morning paper to see his picture next to an article with the headline: Fame, absolutely. Fortune, you bet. But good in bed? Not so much.

Reid nearly spit out his coffee as he jerked to his feet and stared at the page. He blinked, then rubbed his eyes and read the headline again.

Not good in bed? NOT GOOD IN BED?

“She’s crazy,” he muttered, knowing the author had to be a woman he’d dated and dumped. This was about revenge. About getting back at him by humiliating him in public. Because he was good in bed, dammit. Better than good.

He made women scream on a regular basis. They clawed his back—he had the scars to prove it. They stole into his hotel room at night when he was on the road, they begged, they followed him home and offered him anything if he would just sleep with them again.

He was better than good, he was a god!

He was also completely and totally screwed, he thought as he sank back into his chair and scanned the article. Sure enough, the author had gone out with him. It had been one night of what she described as nearly charming conversation, almost funny stories from his past and a so-so couple of hours naked. It was all couched in “don’t sue me” language. Things like “Just one reporter’s opinion” and “Maybe it’s just me, but…”

She’d also claimed he regularly blew off charity events and kids in need—neither of which was true. He couldn’t blow off what he never agreed to do. And that was his standard rule—not to get personally involved in anything, including benefits.

He studied the name of the reporter, but it meant nothing. Not even a whisper of a memory. There wasn’t a picture, so he grabbed his laptop and went online to the paper’s Web site. Under the bio section he found a photo.

He studied the average-looking brunette and had a vague recollection of something. Okay, yeah, so maybe he’d slept with her, but just because he couldn’t remember what had happened didn’t mean it hadn’t been incredible.

But along with the fuzzy memories was the idea that he’d gone out with her during the playoffs, when his former team had been fighting for a chance to make the World Series and he’d been back in Seattle, in his first year of retirement. He’d been bitter and angry about being out of the game. He might also have been drunk.

“I was thinking about baseball instead of her. So sue me,” he muttered as he read the article again.

Deep, soul-shriveling embarrassment chilled him. Instead of calling him a bastard to all of her friends, this woman had chosen to humiliate him in public. How the hell was he supposed to fight back? In the courts? He’d been around long enough to know he didn’t have a case, and even if he did, how was he supposed to win? Parade a bunch of women around who would swear he made the earth move just by kissing them?

While he kind of liked that idea, he knew it wouldn’t make a difference. He’d been a famous baseball player once, and there was nothing the public liked more than to see the mighty fall.

His friends would read this. His family would read this. Everyone he knew in Seattle would read it. He could only imagine what would happen when he walked into his restaurant, the Downtown Sports Bar today.

At least it was local, he thought grimly. Contained. He wouldn’t have to deal with hearing from his old baseball buddies.

The phone rang. He grabbed it.

“Hello?”

“Mr. Buchanan? Reid? Hi. I’m a producer here at Access Hollywood. I was wondering if you’d like to make a comment on the article in the Seattle paper this morning. The one about—”

“I know what it’s about,” he growled.

“Oh, good.” The young woman on the other end of the phone giggled. “How about an interview? I could have a crew there this morning. I’m sure you want to tell your side of things.”

He hung up with a curse. Access Hollywood? Already?

The phone rang again. He pulled the plug and thought about throwing it against the wall, but the damn phone wasn’t responsible for this disaster.

His cell rang. He hesitated before picking it up. The caller ID showed a familiar number. A friend from Atlanta. He exhaled with relief. Okay, this call he could take.

“Hey, Tommy. How’s it going?”

“Reid, buddy. Have you seen it? The article? It’s everywhere. Total bummer. And for the record, dude—too much information.”

IF LORI JOHNSTON HAD believed in reincarnation, she would have wondered if she’d been a general, or some other kind of tactical expert in one of her past lives. There was nothing she liked more than taking a few unrelated elements, mixing them together and creating the perfect solution to a problem.

This morning she had to deal with hospital equipment arriving the day after it was supposed to and a catering service delivery with every single entrée wrong. In her free time, she had her new patient to meet and safely deliver home, assuming the ambulance driver wasn’t late. Where other people would be screaming and making threats, Lori felt energized. She would meet this challenge as she met all others and she would be victorious.

The delivery men finished assembling the state-of-the-art hospital bed and stepped back for her inspection. She stretched out on the mattress to check for bumps and low spots. What might just be annoying to someone healthy could be impossible to endure when one had a broken hip.

When the mattress passed inspection, she worked the controls.

“There’s a squeak when I raise the bed,” she said. “Can you fix that?”

The men shared an exasperated glance, but she didn’t care. Trying to get comfortable while in pain was bad enough, but an annoying noise could make things worse.

Next she checked out the bedside table on wheels, which was fine, as were the wheelchair and the walker.

While the workmen dealt with the squeak, Lori hurried into the massive kitchen where the catering staff sorted through the meals they’d brought.

“The chili?” a woman in a white uniform asked.

“Has to go.” Lori pointed to the list she’d posted on the refrigerator. “This is a woman in her seventies. She’s had a heart attack and surgery on a broken hip. She’s on medication. I said tasty, but not spicy. We want to encourage her to eat, but she may still have stomach issues from all the medication. She doesn’t need to lose weight, so that’s not a problem. Healthy, tempting dishes. Not chili, not sushi, nothing fancy.”

She’d been so specific on the phone, too, she thought with minor exasperation.

Still, she would prevail and when the details were handled, she would stop at Dilettante Chocolates for a little something. Chocolate always brightened her day.

“You could beat them. That would get their attention.”

That voice. Lori didn’t have to turn around to know who was standing in the doorway of the kitchen. They’d only met once, at her interview. During the twenty-minute session, she discovered it was possible to be desperately attracted to someone she despised. Everything about him was burned into her brain, including the sound of his voice. For a moment, it made her consider a lobotomy.

She braced herself for the impact of the dark, knowing eyes, the handsome-but-just-shy-of-too-handsome face and the casual slouch that should have annoyed the heck out of her, but instead made her want to melt like a twelve-year-old at a Jesse McCartney concert.

Reid Buchanan was everything she disliked in a man. He’d always had it easy, so nothing had value. Women threw themselves at him. He’d had a brilliant career playing baseball, although she’d never followed sports and didn’t know any details. And he’d never once in his entire life bothered with a woman as ordinary as her.

“Don’t you have something better to do than just show up and annoy me?” she asked as she turned toward him.

Her reaction to his physical presence was immediate. She found it difficult to breathe, let alone think.

“Annoying you is an unexpected bonus,” he said, “but not the reason I’m here. My grandmother’s coming home today.”

“I know that. I arranged it.”

“I thought I’d stop by to visit her.”

“I’m sure knowing you stopped by four hours before she was due home will brighten her day so much that the healing process will be cut in half.”

She pushed past him, ignoring the quick brush of her arm against his and the humiliating burst of heat that ignited inside her. She was pathetic. No, she was worse than pathetic—one day she would grow enough to achieve pathetic and that would be a victory.

“She won’t be here until this afternoon?” he asked as he followed her back into the library.

“Unfortunately, no. But it was thrilling to see you. So sorry you can’t stay.”

He leaned against the door frame. He did that a lot. He must know how good he looked doing it, Lori thought grimly. No doubt he practiced at home.

She knew Reid was shallow and selfish and only interested in women as perfect as himself, so why was she attracted to him? She was intelligent. She should know better. And she did…in her head. It was the rest of her that was the problem.

She was a total and complete cliché—a smart, average-looking woman pining after the unobtainable. The bookstores probably contained an entire shelf of self-help books dedicated to her condition. If she believed in self-help books, she could go get herself healed.

As it was, she was stuck with enduring.

“Don’t you have to go away?” she asked.

“For now, but I’ll be back.”

“I’ll count the hours.”

“You do that.” He stayed where he was, apparently unmovable.

“What?” she asked. “Are we waiting for something?”

He smiled, a slow, sexy smile that caused her heart to actually skip a beat. It was a new low.

“You don’t read the paper, do you?” he asked.

“No. I go running in the morning and I listen to music.”

The smile brightened. “Good. I’ll see you later.”

“You could wait until the evening nurse shows up and visit then. Wouldn’t that be a great plan?”

“But then you’d miss me. Snarling at me is the best part of your day. ’Bye, Lori.”

And then he was gone.

“YOU’RE GLORIA BUCHANAN’S home-care nurse?” the woman at the main nurses’ station asked. “Oh, honey, you have my sympathy.”

Lori was far more interested in getting her patient home and settled than chatting with the rehab facility staff, but she knew the importance of getting as much information as she could up front. The more she knew, the better plan she could develop.

“Cranky from the pain?” Lori asked as she glanced at the name tag on the other woman’s scrubs top. “That’s fairly typical. As she heals, her mood will improve.”

“I don’t think so. She’s more than cranky,” Vicki said. “Miserable. She complains constantly. She hates her room, the food, her treatments, the staff, the sheets, the temperature, the weather. Let me tell you, we’re all so grateful to get her out of here.” Vicki leaned close. “If you have another job offer, take it. Even if it pays less. Trust me, whatever you’re making, it’s not enough.”

Lori was used to patients who were frustrated by their condition. “I’ll be fine.”

“You’ve already met her?”

“Ah, no.”

It was Lori’s practice to visit her patients before bringing them home. Establishing a good working relationship ahead of time often smoothed the transition process. However both times she’d stopped by the rehab facility to meet Gloria, she’d been told that Mrs. Buchanan was refusing all visitors. Calling ahead to make an appointment hadn’t changed the fact.

Vicki shook her head. “It’s your funeral, hon. You haven’t met anyone like this woman before. But that’s for you to decide. I’ve made copies of her chart. She’s already signed out by the doctor. He was as happy to get rid of her as the rest of us. She had her lawyer call and threaten to pull his license—twice. I hope they’re paying you a lot.”

They were, which was why Lori had taken the job. She was saving up so that she could take a few months off next year. But even without the high pay, she would have kept the job—just to prove everyone wrong about Gloria Buchanan.

Lori took the thick folder. “She’s making progress with her physical therapy?”

“If the screaming is anything to go by.” Vicki sighed. “Yes, she’s healing. We took x-rays of the broken hip yesterday and she looks good. The heart attack was minor, the blockage is gone and with her new medication, she should live another twenty years…God help us.”

Lori knew very little about Gloria personally. Researching her, she’d discovered that the woman had been widowed at a young age. She’d taken a single restaurant and, during a time when women were more likely to either stay home or be schoolteachers, created an empire. Gloria’s only son had died in his early thirties and his wife had been killed in a car accident a few years later.

Despite what must have been overwhelming grief, Gloria had taken in her four grandchildren and raised them herself, all the while managing four restaurants. Anyone who had suffered that much had earned the right to be a little difficult.

“I’ll go introduce myself, then,” Lori said. “The ambulance is already here to transport her home. I’ll pick up the paperwork on the way out.”

Vicki nodded. “Sure thing. I’ll be right here. Good luck.”

Lori waved and walked toward Gloria’s room.

The poor woman. Everyone was determined to see her as difficult. But from what Lori had been able to find out, no one in her family wanted anything to do with her. Gloria was injured, lonely and probably feeling frail. Isolation was never good under any circumstances.

She found the right room and knocked once before entering.

“Mrs. Buchanan,” she said as she smiled at the small, white-haired woman lying in the hospital bed. “I’m Lori Johnston. I’ll be your day nurse while you’re convalescing.”

Gloria put down the book she’d been reading and glanced at Lori over her glasses. “I doubt that. Reid was going to be choosing the nurses who would care for me. I’m sure he found the idea hilarious. He only likes beautiful women with large breasts. Unfortunately they have IQs smaller than their waist. You’re neither attractive nor well-endowed. You have the wrong room.”

Lori opened her mouth, then closed it. She was too surprised to be insulted, which was probably a good thing. “I don’t doubt your grandson’s taste in women. In fact it fits everything I already know about him. I may not be his ideal, but I’m still your nurse. At least during the day. You’ll have an evening and a night nurse.”

“You’re not anyone I want to work with.”

“How do you know?”

“I have a sense about people. I don’t like the look of you. Go away.”

Now this was a level of crabby Lori could relate to. She smiled as she crossed the room to the bed. “Here’s the thing. I have an ambulance waiting right outside. There are a couple of burly guys who are going to drive you home. At your house, there’s a bed waiting downstairs, food and privacy you never get in a place like this. Why don’t you wait until we’re there before firing me?”

“You’re humoring me. I loathe that.”

“I’m not thrilled about being insulted, but I’m going to go with it. What about you?”

Gloria narrowed her gaze. “You’re not one of those perpetually cheerful people, are you?”

“No. I’m sarcastic and demanding.”

“Have you had sex with my grandson?”

Lori laughed. In her dreams, perhaps, but never in real life. After all, she was neither attractive nor well-endowed. Talk about being dismissed. “There hasn’t been time. Is it a requirement?”

Gloria sighed. “The man has no Off switch. If it has a vagina, he’s probably been in it.”

“Not mine. I’ll agree he’s shallow but pretty. Isn’t that always the way? So are you packed?”

Gloria’s expression tightened. “I do not pack my own belongings. Even if I did, my condition would prevent any such activity.”

So the momentary rapport was gone. Well, it had been good while it lasted.

“No problem. I’ll collect everything. Do you have a suitcase? If not, I’m sure there are some shopping bags in the staff’s lunch room.”

The older woman practically crackled with outrage. “You will not put anything of mine in a shopping bag. Do you know who I am?”

Lori was careful to keep her back to her patient as she pulled a suitcase out of the closet by the bathroom. Gloria knowing she found this conversation kind of funny wouldn’t help things. “Sure. You’re Gloria Buchanan. Speaking of which, I think I’m going to call you Gloria. Mrs. Buchanan is so formal and we’re going to be getting really close.”

“Not after I have you fired.”

Lori set the suitcase on the only chair in the room and opened it. “You don’t want to fire me, Gloria. I’m really good at my job. I have experience with both heart and orthopedic patients. I’m tough enough to bully you into doing everything you should be doing. That’s going to get you on your feet faster. Because here’s the thing. Old ladies who break their hips have one of two outcomes. They get better or they die. My patients don’t die.”

Gloria glared at her. “You’re not a very nice person.”

“Neither are you.”

Gloria stiffened. “How dare you? I am incredibly polite and thoughtful.”

“Really? Want to hear what the staff here has to say about you?”

“They’re a group of incompetent fools. Everything about this place is substandard.”

“Then you’re going to love my standards.” She leaned close and lowered her voice. “I’m a real bitch about getting it right. You should respect that.”

“You will not swear in my presence, young woman. I won’t tolerate it.”

“Fair enough. I won’t swear and you won’t act annoying.”

“I’m never annoying.”

“Should we take a vote of your peers?”

“I have no peers.”

Which, Lori remembered a little too late, was sadly correct. From what Reid had told her when he’d hired her, Gloria didn’t have any friends at all and her grandchildren rarely had anything to do with her. No wonder she was so difficult. It was heartbreaking.

Lori finished packing Gloria’s belongings. There had been a few nightgowns, some undergarments, the clothes she’d been wearing when they’d brought her in, two books and a few cosmetics. Nothing else. No flowers, no get-well teddy bear, nothing personal. Nothing from family.

It was one thing if the elderly were alone, Lori thought, getting really annoyed with the Buchanan grandchildren. But when there was plenty of family hanging around and they were all just too busy with their own precious lives, it really pissed her off.

Lori pushed aside her feelings and moved next to the bed.

“So here’s the plan,” she said, lightly touching Gloria’s arm. Physical contact helped with healing. “I’m going to get the nurse to give you something for the pain. The trip home is going to jar you and that will hurt. The stuff she’s using is pretty strong, so expect to be a little out of it for a while.”

Gloria’s eyes narrowed as she jerked her hand free of Lori’s touch. “There is no need to speak to me as if I’m eight. I’m completely capable of understanding without a lengthy and moronic explanation. Fine. Get the nurse in here. She’ll be delighted to indulge her sadomasochistic tendencies on my person one last time.”

“Okay, then. Be right back.”

Lori walked to the nurses’ station where Vicki was ready. “We’re good to go. If you want to give her the shot, we’ll head out.”

Vicki stepped from around the counter. “So? What did you think?”

“I like her.”

Vicki stopped in midstride and stared. “You’re kidding. You like her? Gloria Buchanan? She’s mean.”

“She’s alone and in pain and scared.”

“You’re giving her way too much credit, but, hey, if it gets her gone, I’m all for it.”

REID SAT in his houseboat and wished he’d bought a condo in a security building instead. Here, on the water, he was too exposed, too accessible. He’d closed all the blinds and pulled all the shades, but that hadn’t kept the press away, dammit. They were everywhere—setting up cameras on his dock, crawling up to his balcony. Speedboats kept zipping by outside.

They wanted a story and they wanted it now. No one cared that he was totally humiliated. His manager had told him the interest would die down in a few days and to just lay low until then. Great advice, but where was Reid supposed to go? This was his town. Everyone in Seattle knew who he was.

His cell phone rang. He glanced at the screen before answering it, then frowned when he saw his grandmother’s name and number. If she’d read the morning paper, he was going to be verbally beaten and left for dead.

“Yes?” he said, his voice clipped.

“It’s Lori Johnston. Your grandmother’s day nurse. Your grandmother is leaving the rehab facility now and should be home within the hour.”

He grinned. “Let me guess. You want me to stop by and cheer her up.” So much for Miss Priss’s disdain. She needed him. Eventually they all did.

“Not exactly. She’s been given some medication and is pretty out of it.”

“You’re drugging my grandmother?” he asked in outrage.

Lori sighed. “My God, don’t be such a girl. Of course I’m not drugging her. I asked the doctor to prescribe some pain medication. In her condition a car ride can be excruciating. Not that you would care.”

He ignored that. “How did you get her phone?”

“I took it from her purse and before you start squealing in protest, I did it because I need to get in touch with you. No one sent the woman flowers or anything. There wasn’t a get-well card or note in her room. I find that astonishing. I’m surprised any of you could bring yourself to actually give her medical care. Why didn’t you just put her on an ice floe and push her out to sea?”

Reid opened his mouth, then closed it. To anyone who didn’t really know Gloria, the lack of attention was pretty horrible.

“She’s not a flower kind of person,” he said at last.

“Is that the best you can do? Claiming an allergy would have been a lot smarter. So you’re the rich baseball player, right?”

“Ex-baseball player. I was a pitcher.”

“Whatever. Order your grandmother some flowers. A lot of flowers. Have them delivered at regular intervals. Do you hear me? Throw in a few stuffed animals. Bears, cats, giraffes, I don’t care. Something to give this poor woman the illusion that her family cares if she lives or dies. If you don’t, you’ll be answering to me and you won’t like that.”

Her concern was misplaced, but he respected her enthusiasm. “You don’t scare me.”

“Not yet, but I will.”

CHAPTER TWO

LORI GOT GLORIA SETTLED at home with a minimum of fuss. Of course, the fact that her patient was practically unconscious really helped things along.

Lori unpacked Gloria’s suitcase, confirmed her physical therapy appointment for the next morning and picked out something light for her evening meal. While the older woman was getting better, she’d lost a little too much weight in the past few weeks. Lori intended to put some meat back on her fashionably thin bones.

She was on her way to look in on her patient when the doorbell rang. She answered it and found two delivery men, each holding several vases of fresh flowers. One had a giant giraffe tucked under his arm.

“Perfect,” she said as she motioned for them to leave the flowers on the floor of the foyer. Lori had already picked out several strategic spots for floral displays in Gloria’s room. “I appreciate the fast service.”

“The guy who ordered these wanted us to ask if you’re satisfied now.”

She grinned. “Tell him not even close.”

The man shrugged, then he and his partner left.

Lori grabbed two of the larger vases and headed for the study. She’d just finished with the last arrangement when Gloria opened her eyes.

“What are you doing?” she asked, her voice surprisingly strong for someone who had, until this second, been zonked on pain medication.

“Putting out flowers. Your grandchildren sent them. Aren’t they beautiful?”

“No. I hate flowers. And I see no reason for my grandchildren to send me anything. They’re far too selfish.”

Lori agreed with that, but kept her smile cheery. “I love the smell. Don’t you?”

“Absolutely not. Cut flowers die quickly and that depresses me. Take them away.”

“Sorry, no.” Unfazed by Gloria’s complaints, Lori made one last trip to grab the giraffe and returned with it.

Gloria actually raised her bed slightly and glared at the stuffed animal. “What is that? It’s awful.”

Lori hugged the cuddly creature. “It’s here to make you smile. I think it’s adorable.”

“You have very low standards.”

“I don’t think so.” She propped up the giraffe in a corner. “Okay, that’s all done. Let’s get you something to eat. You must be starved.”

“I’m not hungry at all. Go away.”

Lori did as she requested, but only went as far as the kitchen. She popped the entrée into the microwave and checked the rest of the tray. Everything seemed to be in place.

After the microwave dinged, she collected the steaming food and carried it back into the study.

Gloria might claim to not want dinner, but she’d raised her bed in anticipation of eating. A good sign.

“Here you go,” Lori said, setting the tray on the table in front of her.

Gloria stared at the food, then pushed at the table. As it was on wheels, it slid away.

“This is disgusting. I will not eat it. Take it away. I’m not hungry.”

Lori put her hands on her hips. Most of her crabby patients at least started out being pleasant. It usually took a couple of days for the anger and fear to come out. She had to respect that Gloria started as she meant to go on.

“You’re too thin,” she said calmly. “There are one of two ways to fix that. You can eat and gain back a couple of pounds, or we can hook you up to a feeding tube. I have to tell you, based on professional observation, you’re going to want to eat. The feeding tube route is pretty unpleasant. However, it’s an option. After all, you’re rich, right? Nothing but the best for you.”

“Then why are you here?”

Lori blinked. Okay—so there was nothing wrong with Gloria’s mental reasoning skills. “I’m the best. And really expensive. You should respect that.”

Gloria looked her up and down, then sniffed. “You’re shabby and poor. I can smell the poverty on you.”

“Is that from personal experience? After all, you started out poor. Wasn’t your first job working as a maid in a hotel?”

Gloria glared at her. “I will not discuss my past with you.”

“Why not? I’m actually interested in how you got from there to here. You were running an empire at a time when most women were afraid to dream that big. You’re a pioneer. I respect that.”

“You think I care about your opinion on anything?”

Lori thought for a second, then smiled. “Yeah, I do. Not enough people respect you, which is their loss.” She pushed the table back over the bed and nudged the tray a tiny bit closer to Gloria. “I picked out the meals for the first few days, but the catering service left a menu. I’m happy to let you look it over and choose your own food. Or if you’d prefer to hire a cook, that’s fine, too.”

Gloria kept her expression neutral, but Lori thought she saw a flash of emotion. She just couldn’t tell which one.

“You’re very free with my money,” Gloria muttered.

Lori laughed, even though she knew the other woman wasn’t trying to be funny. “One of the perks of the job. Do you want me to cut up your chicken?”

Gloria’s gaze narrowed. “Only if you want me to stab you with my fork.”

“I’m pretty spry. You’d have to move quickly.”

“I would be motivated.”

At last—a flash of something very close to humor. A good sign. “Okay—I’ll let you eat in peace. Do you want the television on?” She opened the cabinet doors, exposing the television and DVD player, then left the remote on the bed. “Call if you need anything.”

BY FOUR-THIRTY that afternoon, Lori felt as if she’d been the victim of a hit-and-run. Her momentary breakthrough with Gloria was nothing more than a distant memory once the older woman finished complaining that her bed was too hard, her pillows too soft, that her sheets had an odd smell and that the television buzzed.

“I’ll get a serviceman in here as soon as possible,” Lori said, doing her best to be patient. She also had to keep herself from looking at her watch. This had been the longest afternoon of her life. And to think it had only been a half day with Gloria.

She kept telling herself that Gloria was unhappy for a reason and that things would get better.

A little after five she headed for the kitchen and found a tall, pretty, large-breasted woman unpacking a giant tote bag. Her uniform marked her as a nurse. Her physical description told Lori who had done the hiring.

“Hi,” the woman said, smiling brightly. “I’m Sandy Larson, twilight nurse. Which is a first. Usually I’m the night nurse. On call when it’s dark. Hey, that sounds like the title of a book. Or a porn movie.” Sandy grinned. “Not sure which I’d rather be in. On a good day…”

Lori did her best to greet the woman pleasantly, despite the sudden knot in her stomach. What on earth was wrong with her? So Reid had gone true to type with the other nurse. What did Lori care?

Lori brought Sandy up to speed on Gloria’s care. “She’s tired so she’s a little difficult, but not awful.”

“I can handle her,” Sandy said. “If my patients give me any trouble, I start talking about my favorite soap opera. That usually bores them into falling asleep. It’s why I love the night shift. You day girls work too hard.” She leaned toward Lori. “Gotta love this job, though. Twelve hours of pay for an eight hour shift.”

“It’s great. I’ll just go and tell Gloria goodbye.”

“Sure thing. See you tomorrow.”

Lori nodded and returned to the study. “I’m heading out,” she told Gloria. “I’ll be back in the morning.”

Gloria looked up from the magazine she’d been reading and stared at Lori over her glasses. “I can’t imagine why you would think I would care about your comings and goings. Stay or go. It doesn’t matter the least to me.”

Lori grinned. “I had a good day, too, Gloria. You’re more than welcome.”

REID PARKED his Corvette behind the Downtown Sports Bar and climbed out. He stood staring at the rear door for a full minute, then told himself it wouldn’t be so bad.

Ever since he’d blown out his arm and had to retire from baseball, he’d been working at the family sports bar. “Working” being a loose definition of what he did. In theory he was the general manager. In reality he came and went as he wanted, occasionally worked behind the bar, entertained customers with stories about his baseball career and life and hired the female staff. He’d always thought of the sports bar as a refuge—a place to hang where he was known and admired. Today it was nothing more than a house of shame.

Everyone inside knew him and he was willing to bet his impressive bank account that each one of them had read the morning paper.

“Goddamn it all to hell,” he grumbled, then used his key to let himself in the back door.

Figuring he might as well get it over with as quickly as possible, he bypassed the relative safety of his office and walked into the bar.

Instantly the low rumble of conversation stilled and all eyes focused on him. Reid kept moving.

“Hey, hon,” one of the waitresses called, her mouth twisted in some weird almost-normal smile. “Good to see you.”

He nodded and continued walking through the happy hour crowd.

“Reid!” one guy yelled. “How’s it hanging?”

Reid ignored that, scanned the clusters of patrons and saw two familiar faces in a corner. He headed directly for them.

“Reid.” Maddie, one of the waitresses, grabbed his arm. “She’s full of shit, okay? That night we were together was great. Let me know if you want me to sign a letter or something.”

He nodded at the busty brunette, knowing that they had spent the night in bed and unable to remember anything specific in the blur that was his sexual past.

He hurried over to greet his two brothers and sank gratefully into the chair they’d pulled up for him.

They’d positioned their table just right, tucking his chair next to a display case of sports crap. It meant he wasn’t in anyone’s direct line of sight.

Cal, his older brother, pushed a full mug of beer in his direction. “How you holding up?” he asked.

“How do you think?” Reid took a long swallow. “It’s a little slice of hell.”

Walker, his younger brother, grimaced sympathetically. “Sucks the big one.”

Reid eyed the nachos on the table, but he wasn’t hungry. “The worst part is I don’t even remember her. It was the week my team was in the playoffs. I’m sure I was drunk.” He shook his head. “What does it matter? She wanted revenge and she sure as hell got it. Reporters are everywhere. They’re crawling all over the houseboat.”

“It’s not a defensible position,” Walker told him.

Cal looked at Reid. “So speaks our brother, the former marine.”

“He knows what he’s talking about,” Reid grumbled. “I’ve got to get out of there. I thought about a hotel, but they’ll find me there. Someone on the staff will sell me out.”

“Come stay with Penny and me,” Cal said. “We have room.”

Reid hesitated. Their house was big enough, but Cal and Penny had a new baby. They were focused on other things.

“I appreciate the offer, but I’d be in the way.”

“You wouldn’t,” Cal told him.

Walker shrugged. “You can bunk with me, but it would be on a sofa.”

“Tempting,” Reid said with a grin. “But, no.”

“You could always move in with Gloria,” Cal said. “No one would think to look for you there. Didn’t you say one of her nurses had set up a room for her downstairs?”

“In the study,” Reid said slowly, considering the possibility.

“You would have the whole upstairs,” Walker told him.

“There’s plenty of room,” Reid murmured. His moving in would also annoy the hell out of Lori, and that would be a plus.

A woman walked toward the table. She was tall, built and cover-model gorgeous. She smiled at him.

“Darlin’, I just wanted to let you know that the night we had together was incredible. I still remember everything about it and I’m willing to swear to it. Want my phone number?”

Reid studied her face and realized he had absolutely no recollection of ever having seen her before. What did that say about him?

“I appreciate the offer,” he said. “I’ll let you know if I need a signed statement.”

“You do that. I’m always willing.”

She turned and walked away. He watched her swaying hips and felt absolutely nothing. Given the day he’d had, it would probably be months before he could think about having sex again, and how grim was that?

He leaned back in his chair and looked at his brothers. “That reporter has me by the balls. I can’t sue. There’s no way to win. It would be a circus. I don’t want that. My manager says to lay low and it will blow over.”

“He’s right,” Walker said. “People will get interested in someone else’s life.”

“When?” Reid asked, knowing it couldn’t be soon enough. “I talked to him about the other stuff in the article. Where that bitch of a reporter said I’d blown off kids and charity events. I wouldn’t do that.”

He hadn’t. He hated that kind of stuff, so he made it a point to never accept any kind of invitation where he had to show up and speak. He sent checks…or his manager did.

“Just because some kid sent a letter inviting me to some charity thing doesn’t mean I have to go. But that’s not how the reporter saw it.”

“You have to let it go,” Cal said. “You can’t do anything about it now.”

Reid knew that was the truth, but he hated being painted in asshole colors. “I talked to Seth about the other stuff in the article, that baseball team that went to the state championships. He said that was just a mix-up with the travel agent. I didn’t know anything about it.”

His brothers looked sympathetic, but that wasn’t helping. Maybe because sympathy wasn’t enough. Not when he’d been accused of offering to sponsor a baseball team and send them to their state championships, only to have the travel agent forget to include a return ticket. All those kids and their families had been stranded hundreds of miles from home with no way to get back.

“I didn’t do anything wrong,” he mumbled, knowing in truth, he hadn’t done anything at all. “I told Seth to send me everything. The fan mail, the charity requests. I’m going to read them myself.”

“And then what?” Cal asked.

“Hell if I know. I’ll do something. I have to. It’s one thing for that reporter to say I’m lousy in bed, but it’s another for her to claim I disappoint kids. I’d never do that.”

Not messing up was one of the main reasons he preferred not to get involved at all.

“This sucks,” he said, as he reached for his beer. “My life is at a new low point.”

“Worse than when you blew out your shoulder?” Walker asked.

“No,” Reid said quietly. “Not worse than that.”

Walker shrugged. “Just trying to put things in perspective.”

No, this wasn’t worse, Reid thought, but it was close. A little too close.

REID WAITED until close to ten to drive to his houseboat. He’d borrowed Walker’s SUV so he could load up his stuff and transport it to Gloria’s house. Despite the late hour, there were two photographers waiting on the dock. They snapped pictures of him going into the houseboat and he heard one of them making a call, saying he’d been found. He also caught a suggestion about him taking an Internet class on how to please women.

Twenty minutes later, he’d packed two suitcases and was backing out of his parking space. The tow truck he’d hired pulled behind the photographers’ cars in the guest parking section of the lot, preventing Reid from being followed. The guy would stay there a few more minutes, then leave. All Reid wanted was a clean getaway.

When he reached Gloria’s place, Walker was waiting there to help him unload. They traded car keys and Walker left with the SUV. Reid’s Corvette was already hidden in the garage.

“Hell of a way to live,” he muttered as he walked inside.

He started up the stairs only to stop when he saw a somewhat familiar, tall blonde heading down. She smiled.

“Hey, Reid. How’s it going?”

“Good,” he lied, as he tried to remember where he knew the woman from. Then he focused on the scrub shirt and realized she was one of Gloria’s nurses.

“Sandy,” the woman said when they were on the same step. “Sandy Larson. You interviewed me for the job.”

Right. And her beaming smile said the interview had gone well. He remembered now—Sandy had been eager to sleep with her favorite player. They’d had a hell of a time on his big desk at the Downtown Sports Bar.

“I heard you’re moving in here,” Sandy said.

“Temporarily.”

“Sure. Makes sense.” She touched his arm.

“Listen—I had a great afternoon with you, but I wanted to let you know I’m with someone now. It’s exclusive. So I’m not going to be interested in a repeat performance. Please don’t take it personally, okay?”

“Of course not,” he said, careful to keep his expression politely interested.

He couldn’t care less about sleeping with Sandy again, but that wasn’t the point. She should be all over him, because hey, he was Reid Buchanan.

But given how his day had gone, why was he even surprised?

LORI ARRIVED a few minutes early for her shift. She put her jacket and purse in the hall closet and found yet another tall, well-built beauty in the kitchen.

She hated that she instantly felt short and curveless. Even worse was the cause. She refused to let a womanizing, brainless twit of a man ruin her day.

“Hi,” she said cheerfully. “I’m Lori Johnston.”

“Kristie Ellsworth,” the stunning brunette said with a smile. “Gloria slept most of the night and woke up asking for you. I guess you made an impression.”

“Hopefully a good one.”

“I was going to take in her breakfast,” Kristie said.

“I can do that if you want to head out.”

“That would be great.”

Five minutes later Lori walked in with Gloria’s breakfast.

“You’re back,” the older woman said. “How unfortunate.”

“I heard you were asking about me, so don’t pretend you’re not happy to see me.”

“I’m not happy. I was asking in the hopes that you’d quit.”

“No such luck.” She set the tray on the table. “We’re going to have to get you a hobby. Something other than being crabby. Maybe knitting. Everyone’s doing it.”

Gloria ignored that and poked at her pancakes. “I don’t eat breakfast. I’ll have some coffee and nothing else.”

Lori leaned close and lowered her voice. “I have just two words for you, young lady. Feeding tube. Don’t make me get ugly. Eat and be happy.”

“You’re a most annoying person.”

“I’ve heard that. It’s kind of a point of pride with me.”

Gloria stared at her for several seconds, then passed over a section of the newspaper. “Did you read this yesterday?”

“I don’t read the paper.”

“You should. Women should be aware of what’s going on in the world. Which is not the point. Reid has moved in temporarily. Obviously he’s taking advantage of my weakened condition. You’d think he was old enough to clean up his own mess, but apparently not. Now he’s dragged the family name through the mud. He’s a constant disappointment and embarrassment.”

Lori glanced at the headline and blinked. “Good in bed…not so much? That’s kind of cold.”

“Apparently he didn’t please the reporter and she decided to tell the world. It’s disgusting. She’s nothing but a slut, but heaven forbid we should say that.” She tapped the paper. “Read it. Learn from it. My grandson has a way with women. Don’t be one of the idiots who falls for him and then gets her heart broken. I have no patience for stupid women.”

“You’re warning me off,” Lori said, suddenly getting it. She grinned. “You’re worried about me.”

“Go away.”

For once, Lori did as she asked, mostly because she wanted to read the article.

She settled at the kitchen table and spread out the paper, then scanned the first couple of paragraphs and winced. No guy wants to be told he’s not good in bed, especially in public and in print. That had to hurt.

She almost felt sorry for Reid. While she had no sense of his sexual skill, he had to have learned something with all his experience. Didn’t he?

The object of her speculation walked into the kitchen, looking rumpled and exhausted. He’d pulled on jeans and nothing else, his hair was mussed and he needed a shave.

He was fifteen kinds of gorgeous.

Lori watched him as he crossed the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee. His impressive muscles flexed and rippled with each movement. He looked warm and sexy and deep inside her stomach she felt the beginnings of a quiver.

He glanced up and saw her.

“Morning,” he mumbled, then left.

She didn’t exist to him. Never had, never would. Being attracted to him put her so far in the idiot camp that she would never find her way out.

She was an embarrassment to intelligent women everywhere. Worse, there wasn’t a damn thing she could do about it.

CHAPTER THREE

LORI PULLED INTO her driveway a little after five. Her neighborhood was light-years away from Gloria’s street of gated mansions, but Lori didn’t mind. She loved everything about her house.

Its two-bedroom, two-bath size suited her perfectly. She loved the details of the Craftsman style, the built-ins, the moldings. She loved that she’d painted every wall herself and had done most of the remodeling without help. She loved the colors, the garden, the porch, the way the house looked solid…and made her feel safe.

She walked inside and breathed in the scent of garlic. “You’re cooking,” she yelled by way of greeting. “You’re not supposed to be cooking.”

Madeline stepped out of the kitchen and grinned. “I don’t believe that was in the contract I signed, but I’ll have to go check. Besides, I’m having a good day. On good days I want to cook.”

Lori studied her sister’s face, searching for lines of fatigue or paleness in her coloring. Neither was there. Instead Madeline looked serenely beautiful, as she always had.

In Lori’s mind, the family gene pool had a killer sense of humor. Lori was average height, Madeline a few inches taller. Lori had inherited awful orange curls that had thankfully faded to a more muted reddish-gold. Madeline had auburn waves. She woke up looking like a 1940s movie star. With a little effort and some mascara, she looked like a goddess. It had taken Lori most of her life, but she’d finally learned not to be bitter.

“How was day two?” Madeline asked. “Gloria still a challenge?”

“She defines the term. This morning she nearly hinted that she liked having me around and then spent the rest of the day insulting me. I have to say there’s nothing wrong with her brain. She’s really good at the one-line put-down.”

Madeline folded her arms across her University of Washington sweatshirt. “You still like her?”

“I do. I know I shouldn’t. There’s a power struggle in our future and I’m going to win, but still, there’s something about her. She’s trying too hard to be a bitch and I can’t figure out why. Is it a defense mechanism? A way of coping? Did she have to be a bitch to get ahead all those years ago and forget to turn it off? One of her grandsons called. This guy named Cal. He wanted to come by and check on her. Gloria wouldn’t take the call and told me to tell him that she would be dead soon and then he could be happy.”

Madeline shook her head. “You didn’t tell him that, did you?”

“No, but it made me wonder.”

“Not every sick person is a saint. Aren’t most of them exactly like they were in their regular life?”

“Yes, in theory. But I just don’t want that to be true in Gloria’s case. I keep thinking something’s there. Maybe it’s because Reid was so insistent that she was awful. When I interviewed for the job, he made her sound like the devil.”

Madeline grinned. “Oh, so we’re back to talking about Reid. You do have him on the brain.”

Lori willed herself not to blush. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” She sniffed. “I smell garlic but nothing else. What’s for dinner?”

“Don’t try to change the subject. Admit it. You have a thing for Reid Buchanan. My practical sister has totally fallen for a sports hero.”

“Not exactly fallen,” Lori muttered. “I have a stupid crush on him, okay? It’s chemical, which means it’s not my fault. I react to him. But it doesn’t mean anything. I’ll get over it. I’m smarter than him.”

“Being smart doesn’t have anything to do with it.”

“So my hormones keep telling me.”

“Maybe you should go out with him,” Madeline told her. “Maybe he’s better than you think.”

Madeline was possibly one of the nicest people on the planet. She saw good in everyone and believed in miracles. But Lori had never been a believer, and most people got on her nerves.

In Madeline’s fairy-tale universe, men like Reid Buchanan would absolutely date women like Lori. They would probably find them fascinating. Unfortunately, Lori didn’t live in that universe.

She pushed up her glasses. “I don’t think I’m his type. I get on his nerves. I’m not deferential enough.” All excuses for the real thing—Reid would never see her as a sexual being. She was his grandmother’s nurse. Sort of a living appliance. No matter how much she wanted that to be different, it wasn’t.

“You’re funny and pretty and smart. Of course you’re his type.”

Lori avoided mirrors whenever possible, but she couldn’t escape them. Pretty? Not so much. She was average. Nothing more, nothing less.

“You’re an optimist,” she said. “Sometimes that’s annoying.”

Madeline laughed. “You can’t be mad at me. I made spaghetti with garlic bread.”

Lori’s mouth watered. “A carb fest for dinner?”

“Absolutely. I was in the mood.” Her sister linked arms with her and led her into the kitchen. “While we’re eating, we can strategize about Reid. What you can do to get his attention.”

“I don’t want his attention. He’s not anyone I would ever want to be with.”

It was an old pattern, but one that had always served Lori well. She found it really helpful to put down that which she couldn’t ever have. It made the doing without so much easier.

“I’VE MISSED EVERYTHING about this kitchen,” Penny Buchanan said as she ran her hands across The Waterfronts countertops, then lightly touched the control knobs on the stove. “It’s bigger than I remember. Is that possible?”

Dani Buchanan grinned at her sister-in-law. “No. You’re remembering the kitchen filled with people and now it’s empty.”

“But it will be full soon,” Penny said dreamily. “We’ll be cooking delicious food and it will be like I was never gone.”

She leaned against the counter, then stared at Dani. “Oh, God. Am I a horrible mother for being thrilled to be back at work? I am, aren’t I?”

Dani laughed. “Not at all.”

Penny shook her head. “No. It’s not natural. I shouldn’t have any interests other than the baby. What if Allison knew I loved my work more than her? She would be devastated.”

Dani grabbed Penny by the arm. “Hey, slow down. Take a breath. You’re fine. Loving your work is allowed, even encouraged. You need to be back in the kitchen because being a chef is part of who you are. As for the baby, Allison is incredibly spoiled and totally loved. Just be grateful you love your job.”

“You mean be rational,” Penny said with a slight smile. “Hard to do these days, when I’m living in a sea of hormones. But I’ll try. You’re right. I love Ally, but cooking will always be my passion.”

“See, I think you have a much bigger problem with Cal than with the baby. He’s not going to appreciate knowing he comes second to a bunch of pots and pans.”

Penny’s smile softened. “He knows I love him.”

Dani had liked Penny the first time Penny had married Cal. The second time was even better.

“So you’re back, you’re excited about being back,” Dani said. “This is a good thing.”

Penny eyed her. “I think I can guess why. You want to leave.”

Dani glanced around at the restaurant kitchen. Penny had given her a job when she’d desperately needed to do something with her life, but this wasn’t where she wanted to be in five years, or even five weeks.

“Let’s just say the thrill of sticking it to Gloria has faded,” Dani admitted. “You were great to give me a chance here, but I have to move on.”

“I understand,” Penny told her. “I don’t like it, but I understand. Do you have any idea what you’re going to do?”

“Try to make up for all the time I wasted trying to please Gloria.”

Penny touched her shoulder. “Maybe if you think about it as a growth experience…”

“So far, that’s not working. As mean as Gloria is, I still can’t believe she let me work for her all those years, let me believe I had a chance of moving up in the company, when she was never going to let it happen.”

Dani closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath. If she continued to let Gloria upset her, then she continued to let the old bat win.

But it was hard to let it all go—and impossible to forget Gloria’s bombshell. That the reason Dani would never make it in the Buchanan empire was that she, Dani, wasn’t a real Buchanan.

“Look at the bright side,” Penny said, affection obvious in her voice. “You have a great résumé and fabulous letters of recommendation from me and Edouard.”

At the mention of the cook who had been left in charge of the kitchen while Penny had been out on maternity leave, Dani grinned. “Edouard said he wasn’t going to write me a letter of recommendation. He said I hadn’t been deferential enough while he was in charge. That I hadn’t supported his pain.”

“Oh, really? Then perhaps I’ll tell Edouard I’m not feeling ready to come back. I can leave him in charge a little longer.”

As Edouard had spent the last eight weeks whining about the extra work of covering for Penny, Dani knew it was the perfect threat.

“I’ll let you tell him,” she said.

“I can’t wait.”

LORI WAS STARTLED to find a woman lurking on Gloria’s front porch. In this upscale part of Seattle, the houses were mansion size, the lawns perfect and no one lurked.

“Can I help you?” Lori asked as she slipped her key in her pocket and crossed her arms over her chest. While the woman was perfectly well dressed and seemed normal, Lori had a bad feeling she couldn’t explain.

The woman smiled at her. “Hi, I’m Cassandra. Cassie to my friends. I’m a reporter. I recently wrote an article on Reid Buchanan.”

No need to define which article. In recent weeks there had only been one anyone would remember. “An article, huh? Is that what you’re calling it?”

Cassie smirked. “Oh, so you’re one of his little fans.”

Lori might have a stupid crush on Reid, but she wasn’t about to admit it. Besides, this wasn’t about her feelings, it was about using one’s position to try to destroy an almost innocent—well, innocent—person.

“Do I look like one of his little fans?” she asked bluntly. “I’m actually just a person who wonders about today’s standards of journalism. There’s a difference between reporting and being mean. You got away with what you wrote because you’re a woman. If the situation had been reversed, the article wouldn’t exist.”

Cassie shrugged. “Maybe, but I’m getting great play out of the story. It’s all true. He was lousy in bed, but as I said, that’s just my opinion. Others don’t seem to agree. Is he home?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Lori said, staring at the woman and refusing to even glance at the door.

“I can’t find him anywhere and I don’t think he left Seattle. There aren’t that many places he could go to hide.”

“What about with one of his fans?”

Cassie laughed. “Reid commit to one woman? I don’t think so.”

Which was kind of how Lori saw him, but she was going to ignore that for now.

“You’re trespassing on private property,” she said. “Please leave.”

“Sure. No problem. Oh, by the way, do you spend much time on the Internet?”

“What? Not really.”

“Then you probably haven’t seen these.”

Cassie passed her several photos. Lori glanced down automatically, then wished she hadn’t.

There were about a half-dozen glossy images of Reid having sex. Each picture showed him with the same woman. The pictures were crude, explicit and grainy. But they made the point—he was a man who loved women.

Doing her best not to react, Lori passed them back. She felt like she needed to wash her hands or something. “Thanks, but not before breakfast.”

“These are online. Even a ten-year-old could download them. Are you sure you want to protect him? We should stand together against men like Reid Buchanan.”

Despite the sick feeling in her stomach, Lori shook her head. “I’m not interested in standing with you on anything.”

She waited until the woman left before she headed inside. The sick feeling didn’t go away. What horrible pictures. Did Reid know about them? Had he posed for them? She wanted to believe the pictures had been taken without his knowledge, but how could she be sure? She knew almost nothing about him. Wanting him to be one of the good guys meant absolutely nothing. Based on how he lived his life, he was most likely the guilty party.

That should take care of her little crush. It wouldn’t, of course, but it should.

“YOU NEED TO WALK,” Lori said, hanging on to her patience with both hands. “Just across the room and then we can be done.”

“I’m done now,” Gloria snapped. “It’s enough that damn physical therapist pushes me. At least he knows what he’s doing.”

“You either do your physical therapy and get better, or crawl back in bed and die.”

“You keep threatening me with death,” Gloria snapped, “and I’m still standing.”

Lori stared at the old woman hunched over a walker. “Barely. Don’t you want to get strong enough to kick my ass?”

“What I want is to be rid of you. Get out. Get out now!”

The last couple of words were nearly a scream. Lori ignored them and patted the bed. “Eight steps,” she said cheerfully. “Seven if you don’t shuffle.”

“I don’t shuffle,” Gloria told her icily.

“Looks like shuffling to me.”

“I loathe you with every fiber of my being,” the old woman said.

“I’m sure you do. Now walk.”

Gloria slowly, painfully, made her way across the study. When she reached the bed, Lori steadied her as she lowered herself onto the mattress and slowly lay down.

“Great job,” she said, careful to keep her voice neutral. She wasn’t gloating and didn’t want Gloria to think she was. At least their workout together was a distraction. Lori wanted to stay busy enough to forget the photos she’d seen earlier. Speaking of busy…

She opened the tote bag she’d brought with her and set several catalogs on the table.

“You have a lot of choices,” she said, fanning out the pages. “DVDs, books on tape, your basic shopping, although all my catalogs are discount, which I’m guessing you don’t do.”

Gloria looked from the shiny pages to her and frowned. “What are you talking about?”

“Something to fill your day. Currently you’re staring at these four walls, being cranky and, frankly, getting on my nerves. You need to do something else. Get interested in a soap, read, listen to a book, watch a movie. I would normally add ‘visit with family’ but you seem to be avoiding them.”

Gloria stared at the window. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Interesting. Kristie told me that one of your grandsons stopped by early yesterday evening. Walker. That he’d called first and you’d told him not to come, but he’d shown up anyway.”

The information had stunned Lori. After all, in her mind, Gloria had been the abandoned elder of the family. But first the old woman had refused to see Cal and now she’d told Walker to go away. As much as Lori hated to admit it, Reid might have had a point when he’d said his grandmother was a little difficult.

Gloria narrowed her eyes. “This is none of your business. You mention my family again and you’re fired.”

Lori pretended to yawn. “I’m sorry. What? Did you say something?”

“Don’t think I can’t,” Gloria told her. “One call to the agency that employs you and you’re gone.”

Lori shook her head. “You don’t want me gone. I’m tough on you and you respect that. I care about you and you need that. You can’t be mean enough or crabby enough to scare me away, and that’s new for you. So here’s the question. Why are you trying so hard to live your life alone?”

Gloria pointed at the door. “Get out. Get out now.”

Lori was about to argue when she felt a queasiness in her stomach. She nodded and left, heading directly for the kitchen. By the time she hit the back hallway, she was shaking and feeling close to fainting.

A quick glance at her watch told her she’d gone too long without food. She knew better, but between the reporter’s ambush and her morning workout with Gloria, she hadn’t noticed the time.

She walked into the kitchen only to find the one person she most didn’t want to see. Reid.

He looked up from the thick stack of papers he was reading and smiled at her. “I heard shouting. Should I be worried?”

She was already pretty weak, what with her blood sugar crashing, so the last thing she needed was a visceral reaction to a useless, possibly horrible, man.

But there it was—a sudden fluttering of her heart, a trembling of her thighs that had nothing to do with needing to eat and everything to do with needing a man.

But why did it have to be this one?

“We’re good,” she said and walked to the refrigerator, where she’d stashed a bottle of juice. But before she got there, he was on his feet, next to her.

“Lori? What’s wrong? You look like crap.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“I’m serious.” He touched her cheek. “You’re sweating. And shaking.”

The light brush of his fingers was nothing. Less than nothing. Yet she found herself leaning into the contact and imagining him touching her everywhere. So humiliating. She had to remember there wasn’t an actual person inside. That he was nothing more than a pretty shell. A shell who liked to take pictures.

“I have low blood sugar. I’m crashing. Go away, I’ll be fine.”

He ignored her much as she ignored Gloria’s demands that she go away. “What do you need?”

Oral sex? No, wait. That wasn’t right. “Juice. Food.”

“Done.”

He pushed her into a chair and then got her a glass of orange juice. She gulped half of it, then let the high-sugar liquid sit on her tongue for a few seconds before swallowing.

The results were nearly instantaneous. The trembling stopped, her body relaxed and she started to feel almost normal.

“Better,” she said, looking at him. “Thanks. Go away.”

“That’s nice,” he said sarcastically. “Who crapped on your day?”

“Honestly? You. There was a reporter waiting for me outside your grandmother’s front door this morning. She wanted me to confirm you were staying here, which I didn’t. Just to put a little sparkle in my schedule, she showed me some pictures she’d downloaded from the Internet. Guess who was the star?”

His expression tightened as he swore. “I thought they were gone.”

“You knew about them?” She couldn’t decide if that was good or bad.

“They were taken about six years ago,” he said grimly. “Without my knowledge. This woman I was with wanted proof to show her friends. One of them suggested she get a little more publicity, so she posted them online.”

He sounded embarrassed and mad and frustrated. Lori wanted to believe he wasn’t to blame, but it was difficult. “How have you been living your life?” she asked. “This sort of thing doesn’t happen to normal people. The pictures, the reporter. You need to get your act together.”

“I’m trying. But stuff like this makes it impossible. I even got a court order that the pictures be removed from the Web site. But they’re still showing up on other sites. I don’t want to talk about it anymore. You feel okay now?”

The change of topic caught her off guard. “Yes. I have to eat something.”

“To maintain a higher blood sugar?”

She nodded. “Chocolate would be best. Preferably from Seattle Chocolates.”

“You’re kidding. That can’t be good for you.”

“It’s not.” Like him. “But it’s my fantasy and I can have it if I want to.”

He shook his head and muttered something under his breath. “Okay. Let’s see what real food we’ve got.”

He opened the refrigerator again and began pulling out ingredients. Shredded cheese, some cooked chicken, salsa and large flour tortillas. Food she didn’t remember being in there before.

“Did you go to the grocery store?” she asked.

“I went online and they delivered. There wasn’t anything in this kitchen.”

At least the Internet was good for something, she thought. “Gloria’s meals are delivered fully cooked. I bring in my own stuff.”

He shrugged and dug around for a large frying pan. “Now we have real food.”

“What are you doing?”

“Making you a quesadilla.”

She wasn’t sure which shocked her more—that he knew how, or that he was making one for her. “You can cook?”

“I have a few specialties. I’m very multitalented.”

“I brought my lunch.”

He glanced at her. “No, that’s not it. Let me think. Oh, yeah. How about ‘Reid, thanks so much for making me food and saving me from death.’”

She smiled reluctantly. “You have a well-developed sense of the dramatic.”

“I’m used to being adored.”

She was sure of that. Although some of his fans had turned against him.

She wondered what it would be like to be so much in the public eye, then decided it couldn’t be a good thing. Complicating an already difficult situation was the fact that Reid had a real habit of making lousy choices when it came to women.

As he heated the pan and assembled the quesadilla, he asked, “How’s it going with Gloria?”

“Great. She’s making progress.”

“She’s a challenge,” he told her. “You can say it.”

“Not even under threat of torture.”

He raised his eyebrows. “So I was right. Admit it.”

“I won’t. I still believe her family helped make her the way she is. She’s alone and lonely.”

“She’s crabby, difficult and mean.”

“She’s not mean. Not to me.”

“You don’t know her well enough,” Reid said as he slid the folded tortilla onto the hot pan.

Lori set down her empty glass and tried to find something to look at other than the man at the stove. If she didn’t distract herself, she was afraid she’d start drooling.

It didn’t seem to matter that his character was suspect. Her body wasn’t interested in the three thousand other women he’d had sex with. It just wanted to be number three thousand and one. How sad was that?

She picked up the top sheet of paper from the stack Reid had been going through.

“What’s this?” she asked as she scanned a letter from a boy wanting an autograph.

“A bunch of crap sent over by my manager,” Reid grumbled. “I let his office handle all my fan mail, which might have been a mistake.”

Lori remembered the slams about Reid ignoring kids in need in the newspaper article.

He flipped the tortilla. “I didn’t want to bother,” he said grimly. “That’s my big crime. So I trusted others to take care of things and apparently they did a piss-poor job. Seth’s response to everything was to send a check.”

“Seth’s the business manager?”

He nodded. “I was invited to a hospital opening and didn’t know. They put me on the program and everything. That’s not good.”

“But if you didn’t know, it’s not your fault.” Wait! Was she defending him? She resisted the need to slap herself. Didn’t she consider him useless? Hello, naked pictures. That had to mean something.

“Tell that to the people waiting for me to show up.” He grabbed a plate from the cupboard and slid the quesadilla onto it. “It gets worse. Some kid who was dying wanted to meet me as his last wish. But I didn’t show up. Instead he got an autographed picture and a signed baseball.”

Reid handed her the food, then slumped down across from her. “It all just sucks.”

She was torn, both feeling sorry for him and wanting to shake him. “You’re some famous baseball player, right?” she asked before taking a bite. The quesadilla was perfect—hot, with melted cheese, grilled chicken and just a hint of spice.

“Used to be.”

“Then you’re in a position to make a difference on a much bigger scale than most people. Things went bad. You can’t change that, but you can fix things. The paper mentioned some kids who got stranded with no return ticket. Pay them back. Call the kid and go see him now. Manage your fan mail, yell at your manager or fire him. Get involved.”

Reid stared out the window over the sink. “It’s not that easy.”

Okay, now shaking him had a definite priority over pity. “It can be. I know you were too busy with your exciting life before, but you don’t have that excuse anymore. You have a responsibility. Be the person everyone expects you to be. Grow up. You might surprise yourself.”

“You don’t think much of me, do you?”

“No.”

He gave her a slow, sexy smile. One that gave a whole new meaning to the phrase blown away. If he’d shown her the slightest bit of interest, she would have ripped off her clothes and done it with him right there on the kitchen table.

Of course, according to Cassie’s article, Reid wasn’t all that great in bed. Except she had a feeling Cassie was lying. She had to be. Everything about Reid, the way he moved, he teased, he spoke, declared that the man loved women. All women.

Well, all women except her.

Reality splashed over her like cold water. Time to end the fantasy fest. She wasn’t his type. She would never be someone he could see as appealing. If he knew how he got to her, he would only pity her.

The thought of that shamed her and she spoke before she could stop herself.

“Just so we’re clear, I’m not interested in you,” she said coolly. “Or anyone like you. You’re no one I could like or respect.”

The words hung there in the silence. She desperately wanted to call them back. What had she been thinking? He was Reid Buchanan—he could emotionally eviscerate her with a couple of well chosen words.

She braced herself for the attack as he rose and stared down at her. But he didn’t say what she’d expected.

“I thought you were different,” he said quietly. “I didn’t think you were the type to kick me when I was down. Guess I was wrong.”

And then he was gone and she was alone.

Shame returned, but this time it had nothing to do with wanting a man she could never have. Instead it was about hurting someone who didn’t deserve to be hurt.

She’d been trying to make herself feel better by saying he was nothing more than an empty shell—a pretty façade, not a real person. But she’d been wrong. Reid was very real.

She’d been disrespectful and dismissive. Pretty much acting the way she’d expected him to act. The way others had acted toward her.

She’d become someone she didn’t like and she didn’t know how to fix that.

CHAPTER FOUR

LORI STARED at the ringing phone. “Are you going to get that?” she asked.

Gloria continued to flip through the DVD magazine. “There’s no one I want to talk to.”

“Then I guess I’ll talk to them.” Lori grabbed the phone. “Hello?”

“This is Cal Buchanan. You’re, ah…”

“Lori Johnston. We spoke when you called before. Hi. How are you?”

“Good. I’m phoning to check on my grandmother. I thought I might come by later and visit.”

“That’s great.” Lori covered the phone and smiled at Gloria. “It’s Cal. He wants to see you.”

Gloria didn’t bother looking up. “No. Tell him to go away.”

Lori uncovered the phone. “She’s thrilled and can’t wait to see you.”

Cal chuckled. “Want to let me hear her say that?”

“Not really. She doesn’t always say what she means. You have to read between the lines.”

Gloria glared at Lori. “Hang up this instant. You will not answer my phone again, nor will you speak for me.”

Lori took a step back so she was out of reach. “Your grandmother is doing great. She’s making progress every day. Even her physical therapist is impressed and he’s one tough guy to please. She’s gained a little weight. Not as much as I would like, but then I’m just bitter at how good she must look in her clothes.”

Gloria’s scowl didn’t soften. “You’re annoying me. Hang up. Or tell Cal he can visit, but just him. Not that whore he married or her horrible baby.”

Lori winced. She hadn’t had the phone covered and based on how Cal swore, he’d heard every word.

“Why do I bother?” he asked before he hung up.

Lori put down the phone. “What is wrong with you?” she demanded. “Why would you do that? He’s your grandson. This is the second time he’s called, wanting to come see you. To me that shows an impressive level of commitment. If he was just being polite, he would have stopped after one call.”

Instead of answering, Gloria turned her attention back to the catalog.

Lori snatched it from her and tossed it on the ground. “I’m talking to you.”

“I have no interest in this conversation. You need to be careful. You’re coming very close to overstepping your bounds.”

“Excuse me while I tremble in fear.” Lori stalked to the bookcases and turned back to face the bed. “What’s wrong with you?” she asked again. “Why are you acting like this? It doesn’t make any sense. I know you’re lonely. I know you’re hurting and feeling a sense of your own mortality. Who wouldn’t after what you’ve been through? So you deal with that by connecting with people. But you don’t connect. We’re talking about your family and you keep pushing them away. Why?”

“I will not discuss this with you.”

“Too bad, because I’m not leaving until I understand.”

Gloria folded her arms across her chest and looked out the window. Lori stared at her.

“I thought you had the most selfish grandkids in the world,” she said slowly. “You’d lost your only child, you took them in, raised them, ran the family business and your reward was for them to ignore you. But it’s not like that, is it? You push them away. What are you trying to prove?”

“Stay out of this,” Gloria told her, her face tight with anger. “This isn’t your business. You will stop right now.”

“Who’s gonna make me? You? You think you’re so tough, but I’m not afraid of you.”

One corner of Gloria’s mouth twitched. “Very mature.”

Lori held in a grin. Oh, my. Was that a crack in the armor? A sign of humanity? It couldn’t be.

“I don’t care about mature,” Lori told her. “I do what works. What’s going on with Cal? Why don’t you want to see him?”

Gloria turned to the window again, but this time the action seemed more about pain than defiance. “He’s never respected me.”

“I doubt that.”

“You don’t know. And that woman he married. She was pregnant with another man’s baby. That child he’s raising isn’t his.”

And people thought home care could be boring. “Did she cheat on him?”

“No. She was pregnant before they got together.”

“So technically she didn’t do anything wrong.”

“That’s not the point.”

“Actually it is the point. Is Cal happy?”

“Any fool can be happy.”

“I’ll take that as a yes.” She leaned against the side of the bed. “You might want to be careful about pushing people away too many times. Eventually they stop trying to get close.”

“You must know this from experience,” Gloria said, turning to look at her.

Lori blinked. “Excuse me? I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Of course you do. But it’s not so comfortable to have someone analyzing you, is it?” Gloria looked her up and down. “How long have you done your best to ignore your appearance? One might even say you play down your looks.”

Lori did her best not to react, and that included blushing. “I wear scrubs because it’s appropriate for my job.”

“They’re shapeless and ugly. Your hair isn’t horrible, but you pull it back in that ridiculous braid. No makeup, those glasses.”

“They help me see,” Lori said. “Blind nurses are much harder to employ.”

“You use humor as a weapon. I would say I’m not the only one pushing people away. So what’s your excuse? When did you stop trying?”

A long, long time ago, Lori thought grimly. When she’d realized her older sister was totally perfect and that she, Lori, would never measure up.

“So, now you don’t have quite so much to say,” Gloria said calmly.

“I prefer telling other people what’s wrong with them, but I can handle whatever you say. I wear my hair back because it’s practical. I dress like this because it’s appropriate. I don’t wear makeup because I have limited time in the morning and I’d rather spend it on a run than painting my face.”

“Excellent excuses. Have you used them before or did you come up with them all right now?”

Lori stared at her patient. The good news was Gloria was showing a healthy, if slightly twisted interest in life. The bad news was she’d shot a few unpleasant truths right into Lori’s gut while doing it.

“What do you want from me?” Lori asked. “Is there a purpose or are your comments their own kind of fun?”

“I want you to wear regular clothes. Jeans and a sweater. Looking at you in those…what did you call them?”

“Scrubs.”

“Right. Looking at you in those scrubs is depressing. I’m already near death. I don’t need my demise hurried along by looking at your ugly clothes.”

Lori flipped up the hem of her shirt and pretended to look for a tag. “There’s no warning label that being seen in scrubs can cause death.”

“Insolent child.”

“Crabby old biddy.”

Gloria pressed her lips together, as if holding in a smile. “You will wear regular clothes starting tomorrow.”

“You actually can’t make me.”

Gloria ignored her. “In return, there is a slight chance I might be willing to see one of my grandchildren.”

That was a victory. And worth wearing jeans. “You have a deal.”

Gloria eyed her head. “We also need to do something about your hair.”

“Not likely. The price for that is you singing karaoke.”

DANI WAITED for her large nonfat latte at the crowded Daily Grind across the street from the downtown Nordstrom.

This had always been her favorite of Seattle’s Daily Grinds—probably because it was the first one her brother Cal had opened. She’d stood in line the very first day while Cal had worked the counter and waited to see if his business would take off.

It had. Now there were Daily Grinds all over the West Coast. The company was expanding and giving Starbucks a run for its money.

Of course, thinking about Cal’s success made her own life look just a tad more grim, she thought with a wry smile. Decisions were going to have to be made. No, that wasn’t right. She’d already made the decisions. What she lacked was action.

The barista called her name and she grabbed her coffee. It was time to give notice at The Waterfront and go look for a new job. One where she would succeed or fail based on her performance and not because of her family.

She turned, only to have someone bump into her from behind. She glanced over her shoulder and saw a pleasant-looking man backing away.

“Sorry,” he said, shaking his head. “I zigged when I should have zagged.”

“That’s okay,” Dani said.

“Did you spill?” he asked.

She liked that he visually inspected her coat instead of taking the chance to touch her.

“No. You look good.” Instantly he took another step back. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to say that. Not that you don’t look good. You do. But I wasn’t trying to compliment you. Not that I wouldn’t want to, it’s just…”

He stood there looking so uncomfortable, she momentarily forgot her rule of never again speaking to an unrelated man under the age of seventy-five.

“It’s okay,” she said with a smile. “I totally know what you were trying to say. My coat looks untouched by any form of coffee.”

Relief darkened his pale gray eyes. “Exactly. I didn’t spill.”

“Good.” Impulsively she held out her hand. “I’m Dani.”

“Gary.”

They shook hands and she felt nothing. Not a spark, not a hint of a spark. There was an absolute lack of sparkage. Thank God.

“It’s crazy in here,” she said. “I’d try to avoid the rush, but I don’t know when that is.”

“Me, either.” A couple moved toward them and Gary took a step toward her. “I’m here several times a week for my cup of courage.”

She stepped into a less crowded corner. “You get courage from coffee?”

“From the caffeine. I teach nearby and my afternoon students are surly. This keeps me on my toes.” He raised his cup as he spoke.

He was the kind of man easily overlooked and forgotten, Dani thought. Light brown hair, pale eyes, pale skin. Slender. Nicely dressed, but not flashy. He seemed sincere rather than charming, intelligent rather than physical. All good things.

“What do you teach?” she asked.

“Theology and math at the community college. Most of my students are taking theology to fulfill a requirement, and everyone knows people hate math. I should try to find a fun subject that everyone would like.”

“Is there one?”

“What did you like in college?” he asked.

“Not math,” she said, then smiled. “You probably hear that a lot.”

“I can handle it.”

“I took a lot of classes in restaurant management. That’s what I do now—work in a restaurant. I’ve been an assistant to a chef for a while. I used to manage a place in Renton. Burger Heaven.”

He nodded. “I’ve been there. Great milkshakes. Do you like being an assistant to the chef?”

“I love working for Penny, but it’s time for me to make a change. That’s what I was thinking about when we bumped into each other. That I need to take the risk and go for it. But I’m nervous. What if I fail? What if I succeed? I can’t…”

She stopped talking and stared at him. “I can’t believe I’m just blurting this all out.”

“I appreciate you talking to me, Dani. I’m happy to listen.”

There was something about the way he said it—as if he really meant it.

“But I don’t know you.”

“Sometimes we recognize a kinship in another person,” he said.

If any other guy had tried a line like that on her, she would have hit him in the stomach. But the way Gary spoke the words made her think he really meant them.

“Still, I don’t usually dump stuff on strangers,” she muttered.

“I’m glad I was your exception.” He glanced at his watch. “But I have forty-five bored students waiting to hear about comparative theology through the ages. I have to go.”

He sounded as if he regretted the fact. She kind of did, too.

“Thanks for listening. I appreciate your time,” she said.

“I’m glad I ran into you.”

“Me, too.”

They stared at each other for a second, and then he was gone. Dani walked out the other door and headed for her car.

That was good, she thought. Meeting Gary had reminded her that all men weren’t lying, cheating, smarmy weasels. There were still some nice guys around.

REID FLIPPED through the fan letters in front of him. Some were typed and sounded more like they were from forty-year-old truck drivers than actual kids, but a few really got to him.

He kept returning to the one from Frankie. A kid dying from some form of cancer Reid couldn’t begin to pronounce. The kid who had asked to meet Reid as his last wish.

“Damn it all to hell,” Reid muttered and picked up Gloria’s phone. He punched in the number the kid had written on his letter and leaned back in his chair.

A woman answered. “Hello?”

“Hi. This is…” Reid hesitated. The letter was three months old. Maybe he should wait to say who he was. “Is Frankie there?”

“Oh, God.”

The woman’s voice came out in a sob. Reid stiffened as he heard what sounded like crying.

“Ah, ma’am?”

“I’m sorry. It’s just…” More crying. “He’s gone. It’s been two weeks. Frankie died. I knew it was going to happen. It was inevitable. We all knew it. So I expected to be sad, you know? But why am I shocked? Why do I keep expecting to see him? To hear him? He was just a little boy. So little and now he’s all alone.”

Reid felt as if he’d taken a ninety-mile-an-hour fastball to the gut. The air rushed out of his lungs and he couldn’t speak. Probably a good thing, because what was he supposed to say? That Frankie was in heaven and hanging out with the angels? Who believed that after losing a kid?

“I’m sorry,” he managed at last. “I’m really sorry.”

“Thank you.” The woman cleared her throat. “I didn’t mean to go off like that. I just can’t seem to get it together.” She drew in a breath. “I didn’t get your name. Why are you calling?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Reid said. “I won’t bother you again.”

He hung up the phone and let the letter fall to the ground.

Two weeks. Two fucking weeks. If he’d bothered to read his fan mail even two weeks ago, he could have been there. Could have gone to see the kid.

Not that his showing up would have made any difference, but at least the kid wouldn’t have thought his last wish didn’t matter.

He picked up another letter from a pissed kid, basically telling him off for not bothering to show at some benefit. There were dozens more like it.

Reid closed his eyes and did his best to forget. He wasn’t a bad man. Sure he had his flaws, but he worked hard at his job and he didn’t deliberately hurt anyone. At least that’s what he used to tell himself. Now he had no real job—the sports bar didn’t count—and it turns out he’d hurt a lot of people.

His cell phone rang. He glanced at the caller ID and saw it was Seth—his so-called manager.

“What?” he said by way of greeting.

“Turn on CNN. And brace yourself.”

Reid grabbed the remote and flipped to the appropriate channel. There were two former centerfold twins being interviewed.

“So this is a self-help book?” the reporter asked, barely able to keep from staring at their matching DDD boobs.

“Uh-huh,” one of the blond twins said, her voice high and lispy. The sound made Reid cringe. It also made him remember a couple of nights in Cincinnati, a king-size bed and a whole lot of room service.

“We’ve been in a lot of relationships,” the blonde continued.

“We’ve had a lot of men,” the other one said with a giggle.

“Right.” The first one smiled at the camera. “So we decided to share our experiences with other women. You know, the ones who aren’t as pretty and sexy, who don’t get out as much as we do.”

“There are things they can do,” her sister said earnestly. “Ways to be more sexy. Not just in how they dress, but in what they say and how they act.”

This fabulous offer to American women everywhere came from big-haired twins wearing matching halter tops and hot pants.

“You also talk about some of the men you’ve been with,” the reporter said.

Both sisters giggled. “Uh-huh,” the one on the left said. “We know it’s bad to kiss and tell, but we couldn’t help ourselves.”

Reid got a cold feeling deep in his gut.

“One name popped out at me,” the reporter said. “Reid Buchanan’s been in the news lately.”

Reid groaned.

The twins looked at each other and sighed.

“We didn’t want to say anything in our book,” the first one said. “That would be tacky. But honestly, it wasn’t that great. I mean most guys have trouble with two women, so we expect that. Sure, it’s their fantasy, but when faced with the reality of us naked, it can be a little much.”

“It wasn’t too much,” Reid yelled at the television. “It was fine. It was better than fine. I did great.”

“The earth didn’t move,” the second one said in a low voice. “It happens.”

The reporter leaned forward. “Was it a size issue?”

Reid turned off the TV and sprang to his feet. He paced the length of the room and swore. He didn’t need this in his life. He didn’t deserve it. He wasn’t that horrible a person, was he? He should get a break.

Only no one seemed willing to give him one.

He continued to pace back and forth, but the room was too small. He had an excess of energy and no way to burn it off. He had to get out of here, but there wasn’t anywhere to go.

He headed downstairs for the one person guaranteed to distract him.

Talk about idiotic, he thought as he walked into the kitchen. Lori had made it very clear what she thought of him. Did he need to be beat up more?

Except as definitive as she’d been about not wanting him, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he got to her. If he did, she would hate that. Which, in a twisted way, made him happy. At least annoying her was interesting.

But she wasn’t in the kitchen or the living room. He headed for Gloria’s temporary bedroom.

“Where’s Lori?” he asked when he saw the nurse wasn’t there. “She’s not avoiding me, is she?”

His grandmother slipped off her glasses, put down her book and stared at him. “Amazingly enough, the whole world doesn’t revolve around you, Reid. Lori’s sister is sick and Lori took her to the doctor. She’ll be back in an hour or so. Can you survive on your own until then, or should I call 9-1-1 for emergency assistance?”

CHAPTER FIVE

LORI ARRIVED back at Gloria’s house shortly before two in the afternoon. She walked inside only to find Reid waiting for her.

Her first thought was to turn around and hide in her car. She felt self-conscious about both their last conversation where she’d claimed she didn’t want him—a big fat lie if ever there was one—and the fact that she wasn’t wearing scrubs. Jeans and a sweater might be totally casual, but there was also the chance that he might interpret them as a pitiful attempt to attract him.

Or not, she thought honestly. Chances were Reid never thought of her at all. He was too busy posing for porn.

She briefly closed her eyes. No. That wasn’t fair. Her stupid crush wasn’t his fault. Maybe she should rethink the whole self-help book issue. It was more than obvious she needed something to get her back to her normal self. Her last trip to Seattle Chocolate, while delicious, hadn’t totally cured her.

“You were gone,” Reid said as she tucked her purse on an empty shelf in the massive and mostly unused pantry.

“Yes, I was and now I’m back.”

She straightened and stared at him. Why did he have to look so good? Why couldn’t he be ugly or even normal-looking? Why did his eyes make her want to get lost in whatever he was saying and why did his mouth make her long for some sexual acts that might still be illegal in the more conservative red states?

She tried to push past him. When he didn’t move, she said, “I have to check on Gloria.”

“I just did. She’s asleep. I want to talk to you.”

Panic seized her. This was not a conversation she wanted to have.

“I’m busy. Let’s reschedule.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Busy doing what?”

“Stuff. Important stuff.” She groaned silently. Talk about pathetically lame.

She couldn’t handle him today. Not when she was still fighting the embarrassment of their last encounter and she was feeling emotionally vulnerable because of what was going on with Madeline.

Just thinking about her sister drained the last of the fight out of her. Her shoulders slumped and she stared at Reid.

“Fine. What do you want to talk about?”

“You can’t just give in like that,” he said. “It’s not right.”

“You’re complaining because I let you win? You might want to rethink your priorities.”

“Something’s wrong,” he said. “What is it?”

She turned away. “Nothing.”

“I know enough about women to know that really means there’s something but I’m going to have to work to get at it.” He grabbed her arm. “Tell me.”

She didn’t plan to tell him anything. That was the hell of her situation. There was no one to talk to. Certainly not Madeline, who had enough to deal with herself, and not their mother who was a pretty useless kind of person.

She hated that she was tempted. Even more she hated that despite everything, she was hyper-aware of his fingers on her arm. Even through her sweater, she felt heat and need and a whole list of other desires that would go seriously unfulfilled.

“Go away,” she said, able to appreciate that she was starting to sound like Gloria.

“Maybe I can help.”

“Like you’ve helped all those kids who wrote you?” she asked, twisting free and glaring at him. “I don’t think so. But, hey, if you’re so big on knowing, here’s the thing. My sister’s dying. Okay? Are you happy now that you’re well informed? She has a bad case of Hepatitis C she got from a transfusion years ago. A liver transplant could save her, but she has a rare blood type so the odds aren’t good. So I’m thinking you’re not going to be much help at all unless you happen to be AB negative and want to give up your liver to a really good cause.”

She started out of the kitchen, but before she’d gone more than a few feet, she was swamped with feelings. Maybe Reid was a jerk, but he’d never been jerky directly to her. She had no right to lash out at him. In his own shallow way, he probably had been trying to help.

She glanced back at him, taking in the stunned expression darkening his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I shouldn’t have said that. The doctor didn’t have good news and that kind of pushed me over the edge.”

Then she shocked herself and probably him by bursting into tears.

Even as the tears poured down her face, she struggled for control. She didn’t cry—not ever. It wasn’t allowed. She was practical and logical and take-charge. She didn’t allow weakness in herself and she didn’t respect it in other people.

But she couldn’t seem to stop crying.

Suddenly Reid was there in front of her. He pulled her close, wrapped his arms around her.

As she couldn’t seem to stop crying, she let herself lean on him for a few minutes. She let herself be comforted and held.

He was tall and strong, she thought as she held on to him. For once her thoughts where he was concerned weren’t about sex. She had the oddest sense that he could be someone she could trust. Which was totally insane. He was as stable as quicksand.

Still, being held felt really nice. She gave in to weakness until the tears dried up, then she sniffed, took a step back and wiped her face on her sleeve.

“Sorry,” she said, staring at the hardwood floor. It was really shiny. Maybe she should put new floors in her place.

“What happened at the doctor’s appointment?” he asked quietly.

She risked looking at him and saw only sympathy in his eyes. She shrugged.

“I’ve known since the diagnosis that it wasn’t going to be good. I mean, I’m a nurse. I can figure out the steps. But I guess it wasn’t real to me before. I guess I thought nothing bad could happen to my sister. Until this, she’s lived a pretty perfect life.”

She sucked in a breath.

“Her doctor talked about how long she had and how we needed to think about hospice care. That really got to me. Talking about the end.”

Reid reached out and took her hand in his. “What’s the time frame?”

“About a year. She moved in with me a few months ago. She’s starting to have bad days. She’s working part-time, but that won’t last long. I took this job because the hours allow me to spend more time with her and the money is great. I’m saving as much as I can so I can take off the last couple of months to be with her.”

She squeezed his hand and fought tears. “She wanted to talk about that today. On the drive home, she said I shouldn’t put my life on hold for her. That she was fine going into a hospice. But I don’t want that for her. I can take care of her.”

She had to be there for Madeline.

“Is a liver transplant the only way to save her?” he asked.

She nodded. “Unless they find a miracle cure and that’s not likely to happen in time. I’ve been tested and I’m not a match.”

He frowned. “You can’t give up your liver.”

Despite the pain and threat of tears, she smiled. “They use living donors now. They would take a piece of my liver. But it’s a nonissue. I can’t. My mom could except she drank so much for years that there isn’t much of her liver left.”

Lori released his hand and took a step back. “It’s just like Madeline to have a weird blood type. She’s totally perfect in every other way. Why can’t she be O positive like the majority of the population?”

It was easier to joke than admit the real problem. There were no easy solutions for her problem or Madeline’s. Lori never knew how to act or what to say. She just lived in guilt. Because as much as she loved her sister, she’d also resented her in equal measure. Which made her a pretty horrible person.

“I’m sorry,” Reid told her. “I know that doesn’t help, but I don’t know what else to say.”

He sounded sincere, she thought as she stared into his eyes. So they were both clueless. An interesting thing to have in common. “Thank you. I’m sorry I fell apart. It’s not like me. Usually I can hold it together.”

“It’s okay. Under the circumstances anyone would.”

She swallowed and forced herself to tell the truth. “You helped.”

One corner of his mouth turned up. “Then that’s a first for this month.”

He walked out of the kitchen, leaving her staring after him. Had they just had a moment that included sensitivity? She didn’t want him to be more than just a pretty face. That made him far too dangerous for her fragile peace of mind. But it seemed she didn’t have a choice in the matter.

REID WALKED INTO the small den he’d turned into a temporary office. Lori’s problems put his into perspective. People thinking he was lousy in bed was nothing when compared with a sister dying. Of course there were the kids who’d been disappointed, ignored and abandoned by someone who was supposed to be a hero. Telling himself it wasn’t his fault wasn’t cutting it anymore.

He glanced at the stack of letters. Okay, so things had gone wrong. Could he fix the problems after the fact? He grimaced as he remembered Frankie’s sobbing mother. If only…

No, he couldn’t fix the problems, but he could stop new ones from happening. He could do better. He could get involved and make sure the right people got what they needed.

He sat in front of the letters and saw the folder from those kids he’d tried to send to the state finals. The ones who hadn’t gotten return tickets.

He read the hostile, accusing letters and felt his gut tighten. Dammit, it wasn’t his fault. He hadn’t had anything to do with the travel arrangements, but that didn’t matter. The offer had been made in his name.

He scanned the bitter letters and found one from the coach. Not sure what he was going to say, he picked up the phone and dialed.

It took a couple of transfers, but he finally got hold of Coach Roberts. After introducing himself he said, “I’m sorry about the mess with the return tickets. I didn’t know anything about the problem until a couple of days ago. The travel agency my manager hired dropped the ball. I, ah, had him send a check reimbursing everyone for their expenses. Did you get it?”

“Oh, we got it,” the coach said. “It was great. It didn’t cover shit, but, hey, it’s the thought that counts, right?”

Reid straightened. “What are you talking about?”

“Do you really think a thousand dollars covers seventeen kids and their families?”

A thousand dollars? “No. There’s been a mistake. It was supposed to cover everything.”

“I don’t know what the hell kind of game you think this is, Buchanan. You’re the worst kind of asshole. This is a poor town in a poor part of the state. These kids come from working class families. They can’t afford tickets, even on the bus. One family’s car got repossessed because they had to make a choice—make the car payment or get their kids home. They picked the kids. Now you send a check for a thousand dollars like that means anything?”

“It was supposed to be more,” Reid mumbled, feeling like crap. Why had Seth done it? Why such a small amount?

“Those kids looked up to you,” Coach Roberts continued. “They idolized you. You made their dreams come true and then you crushed them into dust.”

“I’m sorry,” Reid repeated.

“You sure as hell are. A sorry kind of man. You’re everything I don’t want these kids to be.”

He felt numb. “I want to make it up to them. Do something. Can I send them all to Disney World or something?”

“Oh, right. That would be great. Like anyone can afford a trip home from Florida. I’d tell you to stick with what you know—screwing women—but apparently you can’t even do that right. Go away. No one here wants anything to do with you. We can’t afford your type of charity.”

And the phone went dead.

THE OUTSIDE OF THE upscale Asian restaurant was elegant. Subtle colors, a sparse but very Zen-looking garden and a patio off to the right that could be used for summer outdoor dining.

Dani parked close to the front door and walked inside. Her interview was with Jim Brace, the owner.

The décor was sparse, but beautiful. Lots of glass with accents of brightly colored fabric. The huge dining room was double the size of The Waterfront and spread out in all directions.

As it was a couple of hours before opening, there weren’t many people around. She flagged a busboy who was setting tables and asked for Jim.

The man stared at her. “Does he know you’re here?”

It wasn’t the question that startled her as much as the worry in his eyes.

“I have an appointment with him.”

“Oh, okay. I’ll go get him.” He started to leave, then turned back to her. “Stay here and don’t touch anything.”

“Promise,” Dani said, wondering what it was she was supposed to not be touching.

She returned to the reception desk in the foyer and drew in a deep breath. This was her first interview and it was a big one. Jim Brace’s restaurant was one of the best in Seattle. Restaurant critics argued about which was more exquisite—the food or the service. Starting here was like making a film debut in a summer blockbuster.

She reminded herself she had more than enough experience and that obviously Jim had been impressed by her résumé. If she didn’t get the job, at least she would have the interview experience for the next time.

A tall, slim man walked toward her. She recognized Jim from seeing his picture in the paper and smiled at him.

“Mr. Brace, I’m Dani Buchanan.”

“Call me Jim, please, and I’ll call you Dani.” He shook hands with her and led her toward the back of the restaurant. “Have you eaten here before?”

“A couple of times. The food is incredible.”

“Secret recipes,” he joked. “My mother is half Chinese and my father’s brother spent years in Japan. I grew up in both places, learning the language, but more importantly, studying the food. I summered here in Seattle, so I have American sensibilities. The combination has allowed me to be incredibly successful.”

He paused as a young woman in a kitchen uniform approached with a large tray.

Instead of thanking her, Jim looked over the tray, took it, then said, “You can go.”

The woman bowed slightly and left.

He began putting dishes on the table. “I know you’ll want to get another taste of the food. It’s excellent. Our executive chef, Park, has been with us about six months. I didn’t like all the changes he wanted to make, but I’ve let him do a few things.”

“The Waterfront went through the same sort of thing when it reopened,” Dani said with a smile. “Penny Jackson was determined to get her way. But who can argue with brilliance?”

“I can and do,” Jim told her. “It’s my place. What I say goes.” Without bothering to ask what she liked, he dished up the food onto two plates.

Dani took hers and studied the eclectic offering. There were several kinds of dumplings, tempura vegetables, a casserole that smelled heavenly.

Jim poured her tea, then added a small amount of sugar. Okay, maybe it was just her, but this was a guy who enjoyed taking charge just a little too much. She would be lucky if he didn’t cut up her food and put it on her fork for her.

“I’ve been looking for a manager for a while,” he said. “I need someone who can respect my vision. This restaurant is me.” He shrugged. “I’ve been called difficult.”

Dani thought about all Gloria had done, letting her work her ass off and think she had a chance with the company only to finally admit Dani would never do better than Burger Heaven.

“I can handle difficult,” Dani said. “As long as there are clearly defined goals and targets.”

“Hey, that I can provide.” Jim dug into his food and urged her to do the same. “Isn’t it great?” he said when he’d chewed and swallowed.

She sampled the various dishes and had to agree. When they’d finished, Jim rose and invited her to tour the restaurant with him.

He explained about the specific arrangement of tables and how regulars who spent big had special seating areas. He preferred overbooking and didn’t mind sending people away.

“Won’t they be unhappy and unlikely to return?” she asked.

“Some will be, but in my experience people want what they can’t have and for a lot of them, that’s dinner at my place.”

Dani wrinkled her nose. She was more of a “please the customer at all costs” kind of manager.

They walked through the swinging doors that separated the front of the store from the back. As they stepped into the pristine, open kitchen, she braced herself for flying insults and swearing in several languages. Instead there was an unnatural silence.

She stared at the men all working hard—chopping, blanching, prepping. The tallest of the group walked toward him. The embroidered name on his white jacket identified him as the executive chef.

“Park, this is Dani Buchanan. She’s interviewing for the manager job.”

Park turned to face her, then bowed slightly. But he didn’t speak.

Dani had worked with enough brilliant chefs to expect attitude, opinion and a volume that would shatter the eardrums of the uninitiated.

“Hi,” she said brightly. “I loved the sample menu. This is one place where making recommendations would be easy.”

Nothing about Park’s handsome face changed. He blinked slowly.

Before she could figure out what else to say, there was a loud clang in the back of the kitchen as two metal bowls fell into a metal sink. Jim immediately turned and spoke harshly in a language Dani didn’t understand. Everyone froze in midmotion, even Park.

Jim turned back to her and shrugged. “Gotta keep the boys in line.”

“Sure,” she said, trying to smile and failing. There was something seriously wrong in this kitchen. It was too organized, too quiet, too perfect. Where was the controlled chaos of creativity?

Jim led her back to his large office and motioned for her to sit in one of the chairs in front of his desk.

“I believe in keeping on plenty of wait staff,” he said. “I might be willing to keep my customers waiting for a table, but once they’re seated, everything flows smoothly. You’ll like the crew. They work hard, they’re on time, they’re perfect at their jobs, or they’re fired.”

Perfect? Who could guarantee perfection on a regular basis?

“Do you have a lot of turnover?” she asked.

“It takes a while to get the right person, but once we find a server who works, they stay a long time. The money’s great.”

Based on the number of reservations they had each night and the crowd that might or might not get seated, Dani could believe that.

The restaurant had everything going for it—great location, better food, cachet and five-star service. There was only one six-foot problem.

Jim talked more about the restaurant, his vision, expectations and the need to be on time, work long hours and give a hundred percent every day.

Dani listened carefully even as she tried to figure out why she had a knot in her stomach.

“I like you,” Jim said unexpectedly. “I know your grandmother. Not well, but I know enough to understand if you rose to manage one of her restaurants, you’ve got the right stuff and you’re not afraid of hard work. To be honest, I’ve been looking for the right manager for a long time. I think you’re her. Let me write you up an offer and then we can talk again.”

Dani blinked. “You’re kidding?”

Jim grinned. “I know you’re excited.”

He kept talking, but she wasn’t listening. Excited didn’t exactly describe the knot in her stomach.

This was a great opportunity. Sure, Jim might be difficult, but no one could be as bad as Gloria and she’d survived her.

So why wasn’t she more thrilled? Was she really getting a bad feeling or was she falling into self-sabotage? Did she secretly believe Gloria’s claim that she just didn’t have what it took and could never make it on her own?

LORI WALKED INTO the kitchen and found Sandy already there.

“You’re early,” she said.

Sandy poured herself a cup of coffee. “I know what it’s like to be tired after a long day. Of course, I’m just waking up.”

Sandy smiled at her and Lori realized she’d really started to like the other nurse. Lori considered the fact that she didn’t hold Sandy’s full-blown beauty against her a sign of a mature character.

Sandy waved the coffeepot at Lori who shook her head. “Not if I want to sleep tonight.”

“I know. I get hyped up on coffee and then I don’t fall asleep until nine or ten in the morning. My body clock is totally screwed up. Speaking of screwed, did you see those twins on CNN?”

Lori shook her head. “What twins?”

“Bimbos. Former centerfolds. It was awful. They’ve written some stupid self-help book so us lesser mortals can learn to be as sexy as them. Can you imagine?”

Lori didn’t know what to say. If tall, busty, gorgeous Sandy considered herself a lesser mortal, what did that make Lori? A mutant?

“They were on CNN talking about their book?”

“Uh-huh. That part was bad enough, but then the stupid reporter brought up Reid. Of course they had to dump on him and say he was lousy in bed.”

Sandy pressed her lips together. “It’s that damn newspaper article. Kristie and I were talking about it a couple of nights ago. The thing is, it’s so unfair.” She smiled, as if remembering something amazing. “I had absolutely no complaints about my close encounter with Reid and neither did Kristie. It was everything we wanted it to be.”

She sighed. “Of course I was a fan and, I confess, just a little slutty at my interview. I threw myself at him. Not that he said no.”

Lori couldn’t think. Her mind went totally blank, which was probably for the best. Otherwise she might have exploded.

“You slept with him during your interview for this job?”

Sandy nodded. “Kristie, too. It was fun. That big desk in his office at the sports bar. Yum. I…” She stopped and stared at Lori. “Are you okay?”

No, she wasn’t okay. She was furious. Not with Reid, but with herself. For being stupid enough to think he was a real person. He wasn’t. He was just a shallow, disgusting pretend human being.

“I’m fine,” she said from between clenched teeth.

Sandy grimaced. “Oh, God. I just put my foot in it, didn’t I? I thought you’d slept with him, too.”

“No,” Lori said grimly. “I didn’t.”

Apparently she could form a club of women who hadn’t slept with Reid Buchanan. It would have a membership of one.

CHAPTER SIX

LORI WORKED HER WAY through Gloria’s morning exercises and did her best to disconnect from the usual complaints.

“That hurts,” Gloria said. “Stop immediately.”

“We’re not working the side your broken hip is on,” Lori reminded her. “We need to keep you flexible.”

“As I’m unlikely to join the Seattle ballet anytime soon, this level of flexibility is not required.”

“Flexibility will help with your stability. When your hip heals, you’ll still be worried about falling. That will make you cautious. Knowing you’re flexible and can bend in all sorts of directions will help with your confidence.”

Gloria grunted and cooperated with the stretching for a few more seconds, then pushed Lori away.

“That’s enough,” she snapped. “I’m not paying you to torture me.”

Lori hadn’t slept well the night before. She had no one to blame but herself, which she hated. In truth she’d lain in bed, seething about Sandy’s casual confession.

Lori had been offended on so many levels, but somewhere around four in the morning, she’d finally admitted, if only to herself, that her real pain came from the fact that Reid had never wanted her that way and he never would.

None of which was Gloria’s fault, but it did mean her level of patience was lower than usual.

“You’re paying me to help get you better,” Lori said. “That’s what I’m doing.”

Gloria frowned at her. “The key is that I’m paying you. I expect professional behavior, not sadistic enjoyment of my pain.”

Lori gasped at the unfairness of the accusation. “Excuse me? What sadistic enjoyment? I go out of my way every single day to make your life more comfortable. Who got you to order the movies you’re enjoying? Who ran out in the rain to get you Cookies and Cream ice cream two days ago when you had a craving? Who keeps your room bright, changes the flowers, gets you books and magazines and gives a damn about you getting back on your feet?”

“I have told you not to swear around me. I won’t tolerate it. If you’re going to persist in that kind of behavior, I’ll fire you.”

“That threat is getting old.”

“So is your incompetence.”

Maybe it was the lack of sleep. Maybe it was the fact that Reid wanted every woman on the planet but her. Maybe it was that she’d reached her threshold. Whatever the reason, she finally snapped.

“I’ve had it,” she told Gloria, her voice low. “I have busted my ass for you. Yes, I said ass. Live with it. When I took this job, everyone told me you were a total bitch and impossible to deal with. But I didn’t believe them. The staff at the rehab facility warned me about you, said you were awful and ungrateful, but I didn’t listen. I defended you over and over again. Imagine how I feel now that I find out they were telling the truth. You’re all the things they said. It’s no wonder your grandchildren avoid you. I sure wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t getting paid a whole lot of money. So here’s the question. What on earth is wrong with you? Why do you act like this?”

Lori had never spoken that way to a patient before, although if anyone deserved it, Gloria did. Still, she braced herself for the scathing tirade that would end her time in this house.

But Gloria didn’t say anything. Instead the old woman stared at her for several seconds, then stunned Lori by bursting into tears.

Lori stared at her for a couple of seconds, not sure if she should move closer or run for cover. But there was something broken and sad about Gloria’s tears. Something that made her move next to the bed, and then gently, carefully, sit on the mattress.

She reached for the older woman and slowly put her arms around her. Gloria clung to her, still crying, her body shaking.

“I d-didn’t mean for this to happen,” Gloria said between sobs. “I don’t know what h-happened. I was always difficult and demanding, but now I’m horrible. I hear the things I say and I can’t believe that’s me talking. I never meant to become so awful. Something happened. This isn’t me and it’s not my fault. Nobody loves me. No one has ever loved me. I’m alone and I’m going to die alone.”

Lori sucked in a breath. She felt like slime for having attacked Gloria, yet she sensed this might be an important moment in the old woman’s life. She suspected that Gloria didn’t allow herself much emotional vulnerability or weakness, so how best to handle the opportunity?

She considered several possibilities, then decided to go for the truth. She waited until the tears subsided, sat up, handed Gloria a box of tissues, then cleared her throat.

“You’re right,” she said clearly, refusing to be sucked in by the still flowing tears. “You are going to die alone.”

Gloria’s eyes widened. “It’s not true,” she whispered.

“It is true,” Lori told her. “Look at how you act. Who would want to care about you? You’re dismissive of people’s feelings. You don’t seem to ever do anything nice. You’re mean and self-centered.” She lowered her voice and touched the other woman’s arm. “But you can change.”

Gloria shook her head. “I can’t. I don’t know how.”

“You can and you do know how. You don’t want to—there’s a difference. You’re many things, but you’re not stupid. You remember what it’s like to be human.”

Her patient stared at her. “No, I don’t. Besides, what’s the point? You’re saying I should be nice to people. To care about them. But then they just take advantage of me. Besides, there are so many idiots in the world.”

“There’s an attitude designed to make you friends.”

“I don’t want friends.”

“Really? Then what was the water works about? Come on, no one wants to be totally isolated. Everyone wants a sense of belonging. You’re old—you’ll be dead soon. Don’t you want to be missed?”

Gloria opened her mouth, then closed it. “I will not be dead soon.”

“You will if you don’t get off your bony ass and focus on getting better.”

Lori braced herself for the screaming, or at the very least another threat of firing. Instead tears filled Gloria’s eyes again.

“I don’t want to die alone,” she whispered. “I don’t want them to hate me. I want them to love me.”

Lori hugged her again. “I know you do. The best way to get love is to act loving.”

Gloria didn’t answer. Instead she held on tight for a long time before leaning back against her pillows. She wiped her face, then said, “According to you, I shouldn’t worry about being taken advantage of. I won’t be around long enough to mind.”

“That wasn’t exactly what I meant, but if it works for you, go for it.”

“Do you really think I can change?”

“If you want your life to be different. It’s entirely up to you. You have the power to do whatever you want. Does this really matter? Do you want your grandchildren to love you and miss you when you’re gone?”

The old woman nodded slowly. “Yes,” she whispered. “I do.”

AN HOUR LATER Gloria was sleeping and Lori escaped to the living room to regroup. She felt as if she’d been run over by a train.

Had she done the right thing, pushing Gloria? Would the emotional upset impact the healing process? But if Gloria did manage to change enough to reconnect with her family, wasn’t that a good thing?

Lori stood in front of the massive window that overlooked the city and Puget Sound beyond. It was a rare clear day, with the sky a color of blue that God grants only after weeks of rain.

Maybe she’d been talking to herself as well as Gloria, she thought, not sure she wanted to see the truth but unable to avoid it. Maybe she needed to be a little less bitchy with her own family. Not that she was bitchy with Madeline, but there was always that damned ambivalence lurking in the background, not to mention all the issues she had with her mother. Maybe she should—

“There you are,” Reid said as he walked into the room. “I’ve been looking all over for you. We have to talk.”

She turned slowly and looked at him. He was still one of the most handsome men she’d ever seen. Not perfect, but appealing on so many levels. She wanted to lean into his body and feel his heat. She wanted his arms around her, flesh on flesh, touching, reaching. She wanted to give herself up to him in a version of surrender that left her breathless.

On the heels of the longing came a fierce anger, both at herself for her weakness and at the man who caused it. He was easy enough to blame—especially considering what she’d so recently learned about him. In the land of Reid, the hits kept on coming.

“I don’t know what to do,” he said, moving close and staring into her eyes. “You have to help me. I’m totally screwed. Remember those kids, the ones I was supposed to send to their state finals? The ones who didn’t have a return ticket?”

He didn’t bother waiting for her to answer. “I called their coach. I wanted to make it right. Seth had sent a check and I thought things were fine. But the bastard only sent a thousand dollars. Some family got their car repossessed because of me and my manager only sent a thousand dollars?”

He ran his hand through his hair and stalked to the window. “How did this happen? How did everything get so messed up? You know what the guy said to me? The coach? I offered to send everyone to Disney World, you know, to make up for it. And he blew me off. He said they couldn’t afford my brand of charity.”

He turned back to her, looking genuinely confused. “It’s me,” he said. “Doesn’t that matter?”

Something inside of her snapped. She actually felt it go and heard the popping sound.

“You are exactly like your grandmother,” she began, aware of Gloria sleeping and keeping her voice low. “You are totally self-absorbed and selfish. I had thought, and let me tell you how stupid I feel about that now, that there was a person inside of you. I thought you might actually have some small crumb of decency. But you don’t. You’re nothing but a sex-starved, useless jerk. You’re taking up space that should go to someone who actually matters.”

She curled her hands into fists and fought the need to beat some sense into him. As if she could actually hit hard enough to make him notice.

“Start taking responsibility,” she told him, her voice thick with anger and contempt. “You keep blaming your manager, but ultimately, you’re responsible. So take the damn responsibility. Show up, do the right thing. It’s really not that hard. Oh, wait, you’d have to stop being the center of the universe. That will be tough.”

He stared at her. “What’s got up your butt?”

“Oh, right. It has to be me, right? I’m a hysterical female. Oooh, maybe I have my period. There’s a great excuse. But I’m going to say it anyway. Fire your damn manager. He’s making you look like an ass. You do that well enough on your own—you don’t need to pay someone to help with the process. You’re supposed to be some hotshot baseball player. Well, with that comes responsibility. Stop letting down little kids. Be a grown-up.”

“Why are you so mad at me?”

“Because you could be so much and you’re not. I hate wasted potential.”

He continued to watch her, looking confused, as if even he knew that couldn’t possibly generate that much energy. “What’s the real problem?”

“This isn’t real enough for you? Look at your life. There are Internet photos of you having sex. Reporters are chasing you down to talk about how lousy you are in bed. You’re being mocked on CNN. Do you sense a pattern here? You can’t even hire nurses for your sick grandmother without getting laid. You slept with Sandy and Kristie. During their interviews. People don’t do that. It’s tacky. It’s wrong. Honest to God, I’m not surprised to read that you’re bad in bed. Being good in bed would mean thinking about someone other than yourself.”

“HI,” LORI CALLED as she walked into her house after her shift.

“Hey, you,” Madeline said from the living room. “How was your day?”

“Not one I want to repeat.” Lori shrugged out of her coat as she crossed to the kitchen. Once there she dropped her coat on a chair, her purse on the kitchen table and opened the refrigerator. She always kept a bottle of Chardonnay on hand for emergencies and this certainly counted as a time of need.

“That bad?” Madeline asked as Lori dug in a drawer for a corkscrew.

“In some ways good. In others, worse.”

The cork popped out. Madeline collected a single glass and held it out. Lori took it and poured. Seconds later she swallowed a mouthful of the tart, fruity wine and sighed.

“Not better yet, but soon,” she breathed. “So how was your day?”

“Fine. Quiet. I had lunch with Julie. Do you remember her? She was my roommate in college and one of my bridesmaids.”

There had been eight and honestly, Lori hadn’t bothered to learn their names.

“Uh-huh,” she lied. “I’m glad you got out. You can’t hang out here all the time.”

Madeline tucked her auburn hair behind her ear and smiled. “I like hanging out here.”

Her sister didn’t fit the stereotype of the frail soon-to-be dead. She was a little pale and too thin, but that only added to her ethereal beauty. Madeline had been born beautiful and had never gone through anything resembling an awkward stage. It was one of life’s sassy attempts at humor.

Madeline ignored the bottle of wine—with her liver failing, she couldn’t drink. Not that she’d ever been very interested. Until recently, her sister hadn’t had to deal with very many upsets or disappointments. Lori supposed that getting a death sentence put other irritations in perspective.

“What happened?” her sister asked. “Gloria making you crazy?”

“Not so much. I think we had a breakthrough today.”

“Really? How did that happen?”

Lori explained about snapping and how Gloria had burst into tears and admitted to being lonely.

“She’s fully capable of changing,” Lori said. “The question is, will she?”

Madeline tilted her head. “I know you, Lori. That kind of moment with an elderly patient doesn’t send you to the wine bottle. It was something else. Something I’m going to guess is related to a certain ex-baseball player.”

Lori groaned. “Gloria lost it with me and I lost it with him. He was going on and on about how his agent screwed up and how horrible everything is.”

Her sister raised her eyebrows. “I’m going to guess you weren’t as supportive as he’d been hoping.”

“Not exactly.” She took another drink of the wine. “I didn’t mention this before because I didn’t want you to think…”

Lori paused. There was no way she could fool her sister. Madeline knew her too well.

“I was talking to Sandy a couple of days ago. Somehow it came up that Reid had slept with both her and Kristie during their interviews.” Her anger erupted again. “Can you believe it? Right there in his office at that stupid sports bar. It’s disgusting. He was supposed to be finding appropriate health care, not screwing the staff. Does he actually have a brain, or is that a myth? Are all men like that? Is he what they aspire to? Because I think he’s a nightmare on so many levels.”

Madeline’s green eyes were steady. “You’re upset that he slept with them and not you.”

“I am not. Never! I wouldn’t sleep with him if…” She swallowed, then nodded slowly. “More than upset. Humiliated. I’m not like them. I’ll never be like them. Guys like Reid don’t even see women like me, which is fine. I don’t want a man like him.”

“But you do,” her sister said softly. “You want exactly him.”

Lori scowled. “I’m working on the problem. I’ll get over him.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t try to.”

“Oh, please. He would never be interested in me and I can’t accept who he is on the inside. He’s like cotton candy. Dunk him in water and he dissolves.”

“But you like him.”

“No. I don’t like him. I despise him. I just have a powerful chemical reaction to him. It doesn’t mean anything.”

“Sure it does. You’ve never reacted to a guy this way.”

“And I won’t ever again.” It wouldn’t work. He was everything she hated in men and she was invisible to him. Oh, yeah, that was a recipe for happiness and love.

She drew in a breath. “I told him off. It didn’t go well.”

“He’ll recover. Besides…” Madeline pushed off the counter and smiled. “Men are inherently stupid about women. You can use that to your advantage.”

Lori stared at her amazingly beautiful sister and knew that dozens of men had been stupid about Madeline, but they’d managed to keep their heads around her.

“I’ll figure out a way to manage this,” Lori said. “A way to get over him.”

“I still wish you’d try to make things work. You deserve a fling and Reid sounds like perfect fling material.”

Lori supposed it was really sweet of her sister to think that the choice was actually hers, but before she could say anything, there was a knock at the back door.

“Oh, good,” Madeline said, walking toward the rear of the kitchen. “She’s here.”

Lori got a knot in her stomach. “What did you do?”

Just then the back door opened and their mother walked in. She smiled at both women and held up two large bags.

“I brought Chinese,” Evie Johnston said. “You’ll have leftovers for days.”

“Great, Mom,” Madeline said as she put the bags on the counter, then hugged and kissed her mother. “It smells heavenly. I’m starved.”

“Good. I don’t think you’ve been eating enough.”

Evie stepped free of Madeline and smiled at Lori. “How are you?”

“Good.”

Lori smiled tightly as she battled both annoyance and the sense of being the odd one out. It didn’t matter that this was her house and these people were her family. Whenever she was around her mother and sister, she no longer belonged.

Evie faced Madeline. “You look good. Are you getting plenty of rest? You’re doing what the doctor says?”

Madeline laughed. “I’m fine, Mom. I feel terrific. Lori keeps me in line.”

“She should. She’s a nurse, you listen to her as well. Lori, you need to take better care of your sister.”

Lori ignored the criticism and began sorting through the boxes of takeout. She was used to her mother thinking she didn’t measure up. Years ago, when she, Lori, had announced that she was going to be a nurse, her mother’s semisober response had been, “You’ll never pass the tests to be an R.N. and you won’t enjoy emptying bedpans for a living. Try beauty school.”

Madeline and her mother continued talking. Lori set the kitchen table and put the food in the center.

She would be the first one to admit Evie’s life hadn’t been easy. She’d married young, gotten pregnant fairly quickly and had lost her husband to another woman before Lori, her second and unwanted child, had been born.

Evie had lived her whole life in a double-wide trailer, taking whatever jobs she could hang on to between drinking binges. The only bright spot in her otherwise grim existence had been to have one perfect daughter.

Madeline had been pretty from birth, an early talker and walker. She’d been popular, friendly, charming and open to the world. Lori had been none of those things and her mother had never forgiven her for it.

Evie carried plates to the table. “Lori, you shouldn’t drink wine. You know it’s bad for you. Plus Madeline can’t have any and it makes her feel uncomfortable to see it.”

Madeline grabbed Lori’s wineglass and set it by her place. “Mom, I’m fine with it. Lori works hard. If she wants a glass of wine at the end of the day, she should have it.”

“It’s not right,” Evie said, then pressed her lips together.

Lori wasn’t sure if her mother’s concern was really for Madeline or herself. Evie had been sober for nearly seven years.

“I’ll put it away,” Lori said as she shoved the cork in the bottle, stuck the bottle back in the refrigerator. “I wouldn’t have opened it if I’d known you were coming over.”

Evie looked at her. “I’m fine. Being around alcohol doesn’t bother me.”

“Then why do you always mention it?” Lori asked.

“Alcohol isn’t good for you.”

“You already said that. I hardly think an occasional glass of wine means I have a problem.”

“That’s how it starts.”

Lori swirled her glass. “You would know.”

“Yes, I would,” Evie told her. “I know you think I’m critical, but I’m just trying to help.”

By telling her everything she did wrong? But Lori didn’t say that. Instead she dumped her wine down the sink.

“I’ll get the iced tea,” Madeline said. “I made a fresh pitcher earlier today. Doesn’t that sound refreshing?”

It was all Lori could do to keep from running screaming into the night. Her sister desperately wanted peace in the family and while Lori really wanted to respect her wishes, there was too much history between her and Evie.

“Lori was just telling me about her day,” Madeline said as they all sat down. “She’s doing home health care for a real difficult old lady and today they had a run-in.”

Evie turned to Lori. “What happened?”

Lori briefly recounted some of Gloria’s more outrageous behavior and the confrontation earlier that afternoon.

“I think she’s really going to work on changing. I hope so. Her family keeps trying and she keeps shutting them out. What a sad way for her to live.”

Her mother continued to stare at her. “You’re telling her if she changes she gets a second chance?”

Lori instantly saw the dangerous direction of the conversation, but didn’t know how to change the subject. “Something like that.”

“I didn’t think you believed in second chances,” Evie said. “Or that people can change.”

CHAPTER SEVEN

REID FOUND HIMSELF more restless than he would have liked. It was his damn conversation with Lori and all the things she’d said to him. While most of her ranting had been crap, a few of her choice phrases had hit home.

Admittedly it had been a poor showing of judgment to sleep with Sandy and Kristie during their interviews. But they’d both come on to him. They’d been eager, he hadn’t been busy, nobody was married, so what was the problem? It wasn’t as if they’d been bad choices to look after his grandmother.

But no matter how he twisted the argument around and made himself out to be the good guy, the whole situation was a little…tacky.

He was, he conceded, officially, a shitty member of the human race.

He went downstairs to the one person guaranteed to add to his guilt—his grandmother. He found Gloria admiring a modest diamond ring on Sandy’s left hand.

“Hi,” he said as he walked into the room. “What’s up?”

“I’m engaged,” Sandy said as she turned toward him and beamed. “Remember that guy I told you I was seeing? He proposed. This morning. It was so romantic.”

“Congratulations,” he said.

“Have you started planning the wedding?” his grandmother asked.

“Not technically,” Sandy said with a grin. “But in my mind? Sure. Now I just have to convince Steve that running off to Las Vegas is romantic. There’s a little chapel there that is so pretty. We could stay at the Bellagio. I’ve always wanted to stay at a fancy hotel like that.”

“Then that’s what you should do,” Gloria told her as she patted Sandy’s hand. “A girl only gets married once. Or twice.”

Sandy laughed. “Good point.”

“Obviously this happy news could change your desire to stay here. While I would really like you to continue through my convalescence, I’ll understand if that doesn’t work out.”

Sandy shook her head. “Are you kidding? I love my job. Of course I’m staying. I love the hours and the pay is going to mean I can afford the Bellagio.”

Sandy laughed and Gloria joined in. Reid stared at them, not sure what was going on. His grandmother would never approve of getting married in Las Vegas and she hated people who left before the job was done. He thought about all the science fiction movies he secretly watched and wondered if the old broad had been taken over by a pod or some kind of parasite.

Sandy chatted a little more about how wonderful Steve was, then excused herself. When Reid was alone with his grandmother, he moved close and stared at her.

“Did they change your meds?” he asked bluntly. “Are you stoned?”

A little of the woman he knew returned as she narrowed her gaze. “Nothing has changed about my routine. I’m completely fine and healing very well.”

Uh-huh. “You were nice. That doesn’t happen very often.” Or ever.

“You’re hardly around enough to know what I do.” Gloria dropped her gaze to the blankets on her bed and began smoothing them. “I’ve decided to make some changes in my life.”

He had no idea what to say to that. “Changes like…?”

“I’m going to be more pleasant. Easier to get along with. Less critical. It would be nice if you noticed.”

He’d been hit by a lot of baseballs in his career, but only two had nailed him in the head. This felt a lot like that.

“Nice, as in nice?” he asked.

She returned her attention to him. “Perhaps you could pretend the concept isn’t completely foreign. Speaking of changing, it’s something you need to take on, as well. Your current circumstances are inexcusable. You’ve brought shame to the family name and humiliated yourself. Honestly, Reid, what were you thinking, not giving your best while sleeping with a reporter? I would think, given all your experience, you would know what you were doing.”

Until that moment, he’d never understood the idea of wanting the earth to open up and swallow him whole. But he did now.

His own grandmother was scolding him for not being better in bed? Did it get any worse than that?

“I’m not having this conversation with you,” he said firmly.

“And yet here we are. Talking.” Gloria drew in a breath. “I suspect all the accusations about disappointing children aren’t your fault. You have many flaws but being cruel isn’t one of them.”

“Don’t flatter me now,” he muttered. “I won’t know how to take it.”

“I don’t plan to flatter you. I plan to give you a few hard truths. How did the problem with the children happen?”

He pulled up a chair and sat next to her bed. “I don’t know. I stay out of that sort of thing. My manager, Seth, handles all of that kind of stuff, along with booking endorsements and appearances. My accountant, Zeke, takes care of the money. He writes checks when Seth tells him to. I don’t know the details of their day-to-day operation.”

“That’s your first mistake,” his grandmother told him. “It was one thing when you were busy playing baseball, but now you don’t have an excuse. What else do you have to do with your time?”

Ouch. “I work at the sports bar.”

“Based on how much time you’ve spent around here lately, I would say that job isn’t a big priority.” She sighed. “Reid, you’ve always had it easy. You’re smart, handsome and your fastball was just as powerful in the ninth inning as in the first.”

Pod person, he thought as he stared at her. Definitely a pod person.

“How do you know that?” he asked.

“I would, on occasion, watch you play. And I learned about the game. It’s sports, Reid. It wasn’t difficult to pick up a few basics.”

“You never told me.”

“I didn’t think it mattered.”

He reached out his arm and lightly touched the back of her hand. “It would have mattered a whole lot. It still does.”

They stared at each other. For the first time in his life, he realized his grandmother had cared about him. It was good to know. A little scary, but good.

She broke contact first. “This Seth fellow. He sounds like a complete idiot. It’s one thing to handle your fan mail and requests for appearances, but it’s another to screw it up completely. What do you know about Zeke?”

“That he’s been in the business twenty years and that he’s totally honest. He won’t even let his clients give him Christmas presents. We’re allowed to send a food basket to the office for the entire staff, but nothing else. No kickbacks, no perks. Not even tickets to the game.”

“Good. Fire Seth and put Zeke in charge. You aren’t going to be making any public appearances for a while. Should the need arise, I have the names of a couple of media people who know what they’re doing and they’re not idiots.”

“You’re trying to run my life,” he said, not actually annoyed by her suggestions. He knew he had to fire Seth—he’d just been putting off the inevitable. But he was surprised she was taking an interest.

“You can do this,” she told him. “Take responsibility. We’ll change together.”

“This isn’t a conversation I ever thought we’d be having,” he admitted.

Gloria smiled. “Surprise.”

FIRST THING in the morning Reid fired Seth by phone and followed up with a fairly aggressive letter from his attorney. Seth tried protesting but quickly gave it up, which told Reid the guy knew he’d screwed up, but rather than fix it, he preferred to walk away. His next call was to Zeke.

“You heard from my attorney?” he asked by way of greeting.

“About Seth? Sure. About time.”

Reid leaned back in his chair and groaned. “You knew he was a loser?”

“He’s lazy. He does the least he can do and calls that a win. He’s in it for the money and the perks. He likes having a successful client list.”

Which explained why he’d let Reid go without a whimper. No more baseball career and since all that negative attention in the media, not much of a potential for endorsements.

“I told him to send me everything,” Reid said. “I’ll be forwarding a lot of it to you.”

“You know we’ll get the job done,” Zeke told him.

“I know. How’s the money situation?”

Zeke chuckled. “I assume you mean yours.” There was the sound of typing on a keyboard. “Your portfolio is diversified. Stocks, real estate, a few small companies. Ballpark? One hundred and eighty-five million, give or take a few.”

Reid swore silently. He’d never paid attention to things like investments. That’s what he paid Zeke to take care of. He’d done what he loved for nearly ten years and he’d been paid well. He’d lived hard, but he’d never been stupid with his money.

“All that and I couldn’t send those kids home from their state championships,” he muttered.

“We took care of that,” Zeke told him. “We sent out a check more than a month ago.”

“A thousand dollars. What was that supposed to cover?”

“Two return tickets. Why? Did the family have other expenses?”

Family? “Zeke, it wasn’t a family. It was the whole damn team.”

Zeke swore. “I didn’t know. Seth made it sound like just one family. A check for that amount had to have been seen as an insult.”

“It’s worse. They’re families who are barely making it. The screw-up on the return ticket was financially devastating for a lot of them. One family lost their car.”

“Dammit, Reid. That kind of crap isn’t supposed to happen. That’s why you hire people like me and Seth.”

Reid was beginning to realize that Zeke and Seth were nothing alike. “I want to fix this,” he told his business manager. “Can you find out how much everyone spent to get home and send them a couple thousand more than that? And the family who lost their car—let’s get them a new one. And a check to cover any issue with taxes.”

He heard the clicking of Zeke’s computer keyboard. “Consider it done. Anything else?”

“Not right now. But soon. I’ll go over the letters and requests from Seth as soon as they arrive. I have a feeling there’s going to be a lot more stuff to make up for.”

“We’ll get it done,” Zeke told him. “This is fixable.”

“Right,” Reid said as he hung up.

Only it couldn’t all be fixed. Like the kid who had died not knowing that Reid cared about him. That couldn’t be fixed or undone. How many other people had been disappointed by him? How many other disasters had his name on them?

THE NEXT MORNING Reid went looking for Lori. Sometime in the night when he once again couldn’t sleep, he’d had an uncomfortable realization.

Lori had been upset because he hadn’t slept with her. He’d slept with the other two nurses but not her.

He wanted to tell her not to take it personally, but she was female and of course that’s how she would see things. How could he explain that he hadn’t slept with her because he hadn’t seen her that way? Oh, yeah, there was a conversation he was dying to have.

He told himself to forget about her and the other nurses and her possible hurt feelings, except he couldn’t. Bad enough the world thought he was a jerk—he didn’t want Lori thinking that, too. Even though it was probably too late to change her mind.

He found her in the kitchen. She was rinsing off Gloria’s breakfast dishes and putting them into the dishwasher. She narrowed her gaze when he walked into the room but didn’t say anything.

She’d changed her clothes, he thought, noticing she’d replaced her normal scrubs with jeans and a sweater. The more fitted style suited her, drawing his attention to curves he previously hadn’t noticed. Interesting.

She straightened and pushed up her glasses. “What do you want?” she demanded.

“To meet your sister.”

The words weren’t the ones he’d planned and he had no idea where they’d come from.

“No,” Lori said flatly.

“Why not? She’s dying. You said she’s dying. Maybe she’d like some company. I’m good company.”

“You’re not and the answer is still no. Madeline isn’t some freak show you can visit to fill your day. Go annoy someone else.”

Her attitude was really starting to piss him off. What had he ever done to her? “I’m trying to help,” he told her. “I bring comfort to the dying.”

“Obviously not sexually.”

The unexpected snipe cut right through his who-gives-a-shit veneer. He crossed the two steps separating them, grabbed her arm and fought the need to shake some sense into her.

“It wasn’t my fault,” he yelled. “It was my first year away from the game. My team was in the playoffs. They’d just lost. I was drunk. So what if I was more interested in drowning my pain than showing that woman a good time? I had an off night. Everybody else gets an off night, but not me, right? I’m good in bed, dammit. Better than good. I’ve been clawed and made women scream on a regular basis.”

Her steady gaze never wavered. “I’m yawning,” she said in a low voice. “That’s how interested I am in this conversation.”

He swore, jerked her close and kissed her.

He hadn’t planned to. He was just so pissed off and there weren’t that many acceptable ways for a guy to let off a little steam.

So he pressed his mouth to hers and let all his frustration and anger and okay, maybe hurt, pour into the kiss.

He buried his free hand in her hair and was surprised to find the curly waves were kind of nice to touch. He moved a little closer and tilted his head slightly, getting a better angle on kissing Lori because it was starting to feel good. Damn good. Who knew?

Lori found herself just standing there, not sure what to do with her arms, her hands or even her body. She felt awkward and stupid, but the one thing she knew for sure was that she never ever wanted the kiss to end.

His mouth demanded things from her and she found herself wanting to give them. But even as he took and insisted, his lips weren’t too hard. There was just the right amount of pressure and heat and promise to make her want to lean into him and beg.

She liked the way he smelled and how he was exactly the right height. She liked the feel of his hand in her hair and the first teasing, erotic brush of the tip of his tongue against her lower lip.

Had she had access to her brain and any voluntary functions, she would have pulled back. It was the sensible thing to do. It was the only thing that made sense. But she didn’t, so it wasn’t her fault when she put one hand on his shoulder and parted her mouth.

He nipped her lower lip. The gentle bite shocked her. She gasped, he chuckled, then swept inside, claiming her with a passionate dance that took her breath away.

He kissed like a man who loved women. He kissed like a man who understood that sometimes kissing wasn’t just a stepping stone on the path to something better. That it could be—if done correctly—a destination.

He kissed like he meant it and made her feel she’d been waiting her whole life for this moment.

Heat flared inside of her, burning through her body, making her weak. She felt uncomfortable in her clothes and in her skin. She wanted him touching her everywhere and she wanted to touch him back. She wanted to know what his perfect body would feel like, naked and straining. She wanted him inside of her.

The image of them together in that way was so vivid, her body clenched in anticipation. He deepened the kiss and she met him stroke for stroke, following him back to his mouth to tease and explore and excite.

Then, as suddenly as the kiss had begun, it was over.

He stepped back. “You’re trembling.”

Was she? She felt the tremors race through her body. Okay, so maybe she was.

“Low blood sugar,” she told him in a foolish attempt to protect herself. “I didn’t have enough protein at breakfast.”

Reid stared at her for a long moment, then he began to smile. It was a slow, self-satisfied, male smile. One that spoke of his superior ability to bring a woman to her knees with just a kiss.

He was still smiling when he walked out of the kitchen. Lori stared after him, not sure who she was mad at more. Him for turning her on and then leaving, or herself for responding in the first place.

TWO DAYS LATER Reid let Walker and Elissa into Gloria’s house. Walker’s expression was as unreadable as usual, but Elissa looked ready to jump out of her skin.

“Command performance,” Walker explained by way of greeting. “Gloria called and asked us both to come by.”

Elissa bit her lower lip. “You’re sure about the both of us part? I’m sure she just meant you. She doesn’t like me and I find her really, really scary.”

Walker smiled down at the woman standing next to him. “You can wait here with Reid, if you want. I’m not going to force you.”

She sighed. “Of course you’re not, because that’s the kind of guy you are. But because you’re being so nice, I’ll feel guilty for being afraid, so I’m just going to come in with you and be polite. I can do that. I was raised by very nice people.”

Reid thought about reassuring Elissa, telling her that Gloria had been through something of a change. But as he wasn’t completely sure the change was going to last, he decided to keep quiet.

“I can come in with you, if you want,” he offered. “If it gets ugly, I’ll take Elissa out so you’re not forced to kill your grandmother.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Walker said. “How’s your life going?”

Reid led the way down the hall. “I’m still doing damage control. Every day some other woman comes forward and says the earth didn’t move for her. It’s grim and humiliating, but at least it’s a distraction. I fired my manager and I’m going through all the boxes he sent over. There are so many requests and letters that went unanswered. I hate knowing there are kids out there assuming I’m an ass.”

“What are you going to do to fix it?” Walker asked.

“I’m still trying to figure that out.”

Reid wasn’t so sure what to do. The job was daunting.

LORI SMOOTHED the sheet on Gloria’s bed, then tucked in the end, all the while wishing she weren’t so on edge.

She’d spent the last couple of days trying to ignore Reid. After that kiss they’d shared, she didn’t know what to say to him. Just as annoying, she hadn’t run into him, which made her miss him, which really bugged her. She hated that with a simple brush of mouths she’d gone from a completely capable in-charge woman to a sighing, mooning giggler desperate to see the man of her dreams.

Yesterday she’d taken both a morning and evening run, in an effort to tire herself out enough to let her sleep. It hadn’t worked. The second she’d closed her eyes, she’d seen his face and felt the damp heat of his kiss. Reliving the sensations over and over had kept her up half the night.

“Ladies,” Reid said as he entered the room. “We have company,” he told his grandmother, who sat reading in a chair, then gave her, Lori, a wink. “My brother. Two for the price of one. Of course, he’s taken.”

Lori straightened and tried to speak, but it wasn’t possible. With less than a couple dozen words, he’d reduced her to brainless silence. It was so humiliating.

A second man walked into the room. He looked enough like Reid for her to be able to guess their relationship. With him was an attractive woman with long brown hair and blue eyes.

“So you came,” Gloria announced. “Good. Walker, Elissa, nice to see you. This is Lori, one of my nurses. Lori, my grandson and his girlfriend. Oh, did you bring your adorable daughter, Elissa? I’m sorry, I can’t remember her name.”

“Ah, Zoe,” Elissa said, a puzzled look on her face. “She’s in school.”

“Too bad. Maybe she could come along next time. Children add such positive energy to a room.”

Lori glanced at everyone’s stunned expressions and took that as her cue to leave. Gloria was working the program. Sure, it would take time to convince her family that the change was genuine, but Lori was confident that would happen.

“You didn’t hit her over the head, did you?” Reid asked as he walked out beside her. “I checked her medication so I know you’re not drugging her.”

She tried to ignore his nearness and how she was so aware of his breathing. “Why can’t you simply accept that she wanted to make a change, so she did?”

“You should have come along sooner,” he muttered. “Life would have been much better. The last time Gloria met Elissa, she threatened to have her fired, evicted and maybe arrested. All because Elissa dared to date Walker.”

“She’s not like that anymore.”

They’d reached the kitchen. Lori moved to put the island between them—she had a feeling a physical barrier would help her maintain control—but Reid grabbed her hand and held her in place.

“It’s because of you,” he told her. “You’re the reason for the change.”

It was difficult to think with his fingers touching hers. “She’s the one who made the decision. I simply pointed out that being nicer might be in her best interest.”

“Why don’t you want to take credit?” he asked.

“It’s not necessary.”

She tugged free and took a step back. She didn’t want to stand there anymore, having him look at her as if she mattered. As if she were someone special in his life. How could she ever believe that?

Why him? Why couldn’t she have had a strong physical reaction to someone else? Someone not so far out of reach. She didn’t mind that she could never have Reid. What she hated was being pathetic and knowing that if he ever figured out how much of a crush she had on him he would pity her. That would be the worst.

A few minutes later Walker came out for coffee.

“I wouldn’t have believed it,” he told Reid.

Lori busied herself setting out a tray.

“She’s a totally different person,” Walker continued. “Warm, friendly. She told me I was doing a good job and I think she made a joke.”

Reid grinned. “Hang in there, big guy. You’ll get used to it.”

“I hope it lasts.”

“Me, too,” Reid said. “But if you want a for-sure answer, talk to the master.”

Lori looked up to find them both staring at her. She shrugged. “I’m not the master of anything. Gloria was feeling lonely and sorry for herself. I just pointed out that the reason people avoided her is that she’s incredibly difficult to be around. I suggested she try being nicer.”

“That’s it?” Walker asked. “No water torture?”

Lori smiled. “She’s been through a lot. The heart attack, the recovery from her hip. She’s in pain and feeling vulnerable. I think both of those events pushed her to want to do something different. I’m hoping the changes are permanent, but I can’t promise.”

“Either way, it’s a miracle,” Walker said. “We owe you big time.”

Reid walked over and before she knew what he was going to do, he put an arm around her. “I’m the one who found her. Don’t forget that.”

Walker shook his head. “You’re never going to grow up, are you?”

“Not if I can help it.”

He gave Lori’s shoulders a squeeze, then he released her. He and his brother returned to Gloria’s room with coffee and a plate of cookies. She was left alone in the kitchen.

His touch hadn’t meant anything. She knew that. It had been a quick, casual embrace and if he knew it had left her shaken, he would feel bad for her.

“An impossible situation,” she murmured into the silence.

She knew better and yet here she was. Trapped.

She was going to have to get over Reid and fast. And she knew exactly how to make that happen.

CHAPTER EIGHT

DANI PLACED HER ORDER for her latte and then moved to the right to wait for her name to be called. She glanced around the crowded café and stiffened slightly when she saw Gary.

He was bent over what looked like a pile of term papers, a red pen in his hand.

Dani turned back to the counter and waved when her name was called. After collecting her latte, she hesitated. While she’d enjoyed speaking with Gary a couple of weeks ago, she didn’t know if she wanted to go up and say hello. She wasn’t interested in any man romantically and from her limited personal experience, men weren’t interested in being friends.

Before she could duck out, she heard him call her name. She turned and smiled.

“Hi, Gary.”

“Hi.” He waved her over, then motioned to the empty seat on the other side of the tiny table. “Do you have a moment?”

She barely hesitated before nodding. There was just something about him, she thought as she took a seat. He defined…nice.

“Looks like a lot of work,” she said, motioning to the papers. “Are they good?”

“Some. The assignment was to compare three religions, past or present, finding similarities and differences. There are a few Web sites that provide very tidy lists. Some of my students went there and copied the lists. They won’t be happy with their grades.”

“I can imagine. Going online is easier than going to the library.”

He nodded. “I don’t object to using the Internet for research, but I do expect them to assimilate what they’ve learned and write it up using their own words.”

“Sounds reasonable.”

He smiled. “They won’t see it that way. So, how’s the job search going?”

She shrugged. “Not as well as I would like. I think…” She hesitated, then leaned forward. “I turned down a great job. It was at a very popular and upscale restaurant. The food was good, the money excellent. In theory, it was everything I wanted.”

“But?”

“But I had a funny feeling. I just didn’t like the owner. I can’t even explain what it was specifically. He was a little over the top, but that’s fairly typical in the business. There was just something about him. Something…”

“Dark? Dangerous? Threatening?”

She smiled. “Thanks for helping. Actually he was…cold. The staff seemed afraid of him and not in a respectful way. More like they were worried he was going to have them shot at dawn. And the kitchen was too quiet.”

Gary frowned. “How can a kitchen be too quiet?”

“Have you ever worked in a restaurant?”

“No.”

“They’re crazy places—especially in the kitchen. It’s hard work with a lot of pressure. The kitchen staff is loud, insulting, especially if they’re gifted. But it wasn’t like that. I just wasn’t comfortable.” She sighed. “I turned down the job. I still can’t believe it.”

“Sounds to me like you listened to your gut. Finding the right job is important. It helps define who you are as a person. Why would you want to spend the majority of your time in a place that didn’t feel right?”

She stared at him. “When you say it like that, I feel positively in tune with the universe.”

“You are. Dani, this has to be right for you. You’re not desperate—don’t settle.”

His gaze was steady, his expression kind. She nodded slowly.

“You’re right. I’ll keep looking until I find the right job. Maybe then I won’t regret all the years I’ve already wasted.”

He raised his eyebrows. “You’re too young for regrets.”

“You’d be surprised.” She sipped her latte. “My family owns restaurants. I’ve wanted to go into the business my whole life. My parents died when I was young and my grandmother raised me and my three brothers. There was always something tortured about my relationship with Gloria—that’s my grandmother. It was as if she didn’t really like me.” She paused. “I should probably stop talking now.”

“Not on my account,” he told her. “I’m a good listener.”

She frowned slightly. “Yes, you are. Why is that?”

For a second, she would swear he looked uncomfortable, then he smiled. “It’s a gift. Go on. Gloria was acting weird.”

She smiled. “More than weird. I got my master’s and came home to go to work in the family business. There are four restaurants in all. Two fine dining places, a sports bar and a place called Burger Heaven. She put me to work there, which was fine. I was more than willing to prove myself. But years went by and I couldn’t get her to talk to me about moving up the food chain. Nothing I did made her happy.”

She shook her head. “I finally quit.”

Gary studied her. “There’s more to it than that, Dani. But if you’re not comfortable talking about it, I understand.”

She believed him. He would be okay with her moving on. Yet there was a part of her that wanted to tell the whole story, to share it with someone outside of the family.

“Gloria and I had a huge fight. I demanded to know why she’d been holding me back. She said it was because I wasn’t a real Buchanan. My mother had had an affair and I was the result. She was never going to let me work anywhere but Burger Heaven. She said I wasn’t worthy. So I quit.”

Gary nodded slowly. “She sounds like a very unhappy woman.”

Dani blinked. “You’re taking her side?”

“Not at all. I’m saying that if she raised you and then later refused to see your potential because of who your father is, there are a lot of rules in her life. That doesn’t usually make people happy.”

“I hadn’t thought of it that way. Honestly, and I know this makes me sound like a horrible person, but I don’t care if she’s unhappy. She’s been so mean to me for so long.”

“So you quit and now you’re going to find something you like.”

“I am. No matter how long it takes.”

“What about your father? Are you also looking for him?”

“No.” Dani sipped her latte, then set it back on the table. “I’m afraid,” she admitted. “I’m guessing he didn’t know about me, but what if he did? What if he just didn’t care?”

She wasn’t looking for any more rejection in her life right now.

“Is that enough of a reason not to go looking for him?” Gary asked.

“So far it’s working just fine.”

“He’s your family. What is more important than that?”

Good question, she thought. “So what about your family?” she asked.

“Two sisters, both married. Between them they have seven kids.” He grinned. “I love being an uncle.”

“No kids of your own?”

His expression tightened slightly, then he relaxed. “I’ve never been married.”

He had to be in his mid to late thirties, she thought. While not everyone got married, it was strange that Gary hadn’t. He was a great guy. Kind and sensitive and easy to talk to. The kind of man who…

Duh, she thought, wanting to smack herself on the side of the head. Of course. He was gay.

She looked him over. All the signs were there. His low-key occupation, the perfect grooming, his interest in actual conversation, the lack of any sexual spark.

Relief spilled into pleasure. If Gary was gay then maybe they could be friends. She could use a few more friends in her life.

“I WOULD HAVE COOKED,” Madeline said as Lori stirred the simmering beef and filled a pot of water for the noodles.

“I’ve got it,” she said. “You cooked all week.”

Madeline leaned against the counter. “I cooked twice, we had takeout twice and leftovers once. I’m not overwhelmed with work.”

“You should be resting.”

“You should try to catch your breath,” her sister told her.

Lori set the pasta pot on the stove and turned on the heat. “I’m fine. The whole breathing thing is fine.”

“You looked panicked—like we’re going to be firebombed any second.”

Lori did her best to smile. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Which was a big, fat lie, she thought grimly. Madeline was many things, but stupid wasn’t one of them. Of course Madeline wasn’t anything bad or negative. She was perfect. Physically, mentally, spiritually. She was what the rest of the world aspired to be.

Lori had given up being bitter about that years ago. It was a matter of accepting her sister’s amazingness or live her life chronically cranky. She’d decided to move on. These days all she allowed herself was a little ambivalence.

The fact was Madeline couldn’t help being beautiful and smart and charming. So when Lori had realized she didn’t know how to get her feelings for Reid under control, she’d decided to manage them the only way she knew how. Introduce him to her sister.

He’d been bugging her about it for a while, so she’d decided to give in to him. She’d invited him over to dinner and he’d accepted. She knew exactly what would happen when he walked in the door. It was the same thing that had happened with every other guy she’d ever brought home—not that there had been that many.

He would take one look at Madeline and fall for her instantly. After the third time it had happened, Lori had stopped bringing guys around. Until now.

It would be like ripping off a bandage, she told herself. Sharp momentary pain, but then it would be over. She would watch Reid succumb to her sister’s charms and she would finally be able to squash her own feelings for him.

“It’s not going to happen,” Madeline said quietly.

Lori looked at her. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Interesting, because I know exactly what you’re thinking. You can’t stand that you have a thing for Reid so you’ve brought him here, thinking he’s going to fall for me.”

Lori shrugged. “It’s a good plan.”

“It’s a stupid plan. He’s not going to be interested.”

“You don’t know that.” Lori smiled. “I’ll even put money on it.”

“Did it occur to you that the other guys weren’t as interested in me as you think they were? That by expecting the worst, you pushed them away?”

The unfairness of the accusation really bugged her. “Excuse me? Once they met you, you were all they talked about. Face it, Madeline, you never went through an awkward stage. You grew up beautiful. I had to work my ass off to pass for average. I’ve made peace with that. I have a life I’m proud of. I’m doing the best I can.”

“No, you’re not. You’re hiding. You don’t try because it’s easier not to have expectations.”

Madeline’s words hurt. “Thanks, Ms. Perfect. It’s always exciting to get your professional take on things. Whether you want to accept it or not, the bottom line is, guys adore you.”

“Vance didn’t.”

Two words spoken so quietly that someone in the next room couldn’t have heard them. Lori swallowed, her anger fading to dust.

“Vance is a total loser who is possibly the stupidest man on the planet,” she said.

“Don’t say that,” Madeline told her, her large brown eyes filling with tears. “He was my husband.”

Lori hated that her sister had any feelings left for Vance. The bastard had taken off the second Madeline had been diagnosed. Apparently the marriage vows hadn’t meant anything to him.

Before Lori could figure out what to say, the doorbell rang.

“Your young man,” Madeline teased.

Lori glared at her. “Don’t make me kill you. I’m more than capable.”

“Cheap talk.”

Lori huffed out a breath, then stalked to the front door and pulled it open.

Any ideas she had for a clever greeting flew out of her head when she saw Reid standing on her tiny porch, smiling at her.

The overhead light illuminated his handsome face. His leather jacket emphasized his broad shoulders and narrow hips. He looked sexy, masculine and as out of reach as the moons of Saturn.

“Hi,” he said and thrust a paper-wrapped spray of flowers at her. “I was going to bring wine, but I went on the Internet and it said someone with your sister’s disease shouldn’t drink.”

She stared from him to the beautiful flowers. “So these are for Madeline?”

“What? No. They’re for you. These are, too.” He handed her a box from Oh! Chocolates.

Okay, now she was confused. He’d brought her flowers and chocolates? Her?

“Come in,” she said, stepping back.

“Thanks.”

He stepped into the house, turned and kissed her.

Just like that. A quick brush of mouth on mouth, then he was shrugging out of his jacket and looking around.

“Nice place,” he said.

Lori couldn’t move. She also couldn’t think or breathe or very possibly stay alive much longer.

He’d kissed her. Kissed her. As if…As if…Damn, she didn’t know as if what, but it was weird. They didn’t kiss. Well, there had been that one time, but since then, nothing. They weren’t dating. This wasn’t a date. Did he think this was a date?

Before she could begin to function again, Madeline walked in the room.

“You must be Reid,” she said, crossing the room looking tall and beautiful and oh so delicate. “I’m Madeline.”

“Hi. Nice to meet you.”

They shook hands.

Lori braced herself for the lightning strike. Oddly, Reid looked away from her sister.

“I was telling Lori this place is really nice,” he said.

“Isn’t it?” Madeline smiled. “Lori and I grew up pretty poor. We lived in a double-wide until we moved out. We both vowed to have a real home of our own. I wanted a trendy high-rise condo, but Lori always said she wanted a house where she could own the ground it stood on.”

Lori cringed in embarrassment, but Reid nodded. “Makes sense.” Then he actually turned his back on Madeline and looked at her. “You’d hate my place. I live on a houseboat. No land at all.”

She didn’t know what to say or how to respond. He was talking to her. Her and not Madeline. How was that possible?

“I, ah…” She began and then pressed her lips together. “The, ah, houseboat sounds very nice. Everyone loves being on the water, right?”

He grinned. “Liar.”

She blinked. Was he teasing her?

Life was suddenly very confusing. She glanced down at the flowers.

“I should get these in water,” she said and ducked into the kitchen. Maybe if she left Reid and Madeline alone the sparks would fly. Only he followed her and watched as she tried to reach a vase on a high shelf and then gently pushed her aside to grab it himself when she couldn’t stretch that far.

“Zeke and I have been talking,” he said as he handed over the glass. “About ways to salvage my reputation.”

“Who’s Zeke?” she asked.

“My accountant. I fired Seth—he handled things like bookings and endorsements, and there aren’t going to be any of those anymore. So we talked about what I could do to improve my image. He mentioned a big benefit. What do you think?”

She filled the vase with flowers and set them into the container. As she had no knack for arranging, she was officially out of ways to occupy herself. She turned to him.

“It’s a gesture,” she said. “Don’t you think people are going to see it as such? You need to do something more. Something with a little staying power.”

As soon as the words were out, she wanted to call them back. Or disappear into the floor.

Staying power? Why those particular words? They were too close to what that reporter had said about Reid in that awful article.

“What I meant…” she began, only to have him grin at her.

“I know what you meant. Something more significant.”

“Right.”

“You weren’t talking about my ability to—”

“Not at all,” she said quickly. “I’m sure that’s…”

He waited, his eyebrows raised.

“Fine,” she mumbled.

“Better than fine.”

“Right. Spectacular.”

He grinned. “Exactly.”

“I LOVE EVERYTHING about this house except the lack of a dishwasher,” Madeline said when they’d finished dinner and cleared the table. She’d sent Lori off to rest and Reid had offered to help with the cleanup.

“It’s original,” Madeline continued. “Very forties. She bought that old stove from a place that restores them. She’ll let me keep a microwave on the counter, but heaven forbid one of the precious cabinets be taken out to make room for a dishwasher.”

He looked around at the brightly colored kitchen. The walls were yellow, the cabinets white, the tiles red and white with splashes of yellow.

“This suits her,” he said.

“I agree.”

He reached for a dish cloth and grabbed the first plate she put in the rack. “I thought you’d look different.”

“Sick, you mean?” she asked.

“Something like that.”

“That will come. Right now most of the symptoms aren’t visible. I have some bruising on my torso—a sign that my liver isn’t working well. I’ll look worse as the disease progresses.”

“Should I not be asking about this?”

“I don’t mind talking about it,” she told him. “It’s a part of my life now.”

And her death. He’d never known anyone who was dying before. Gloria was old and had come close to death, but this was different. Madeline was still in her early thirties.

“You seem calm,” he said.

“Some days.”

“I don’t think I’d be calm.”

She smiled. “You never know what you’re capable of until it happens. I was in shock and didn’t know what to do. Lori handled pretty much everything. She came to the doctor with me, asked all the right questions. My husband left and she’s the one who bullied the attorney to make sure I didn’t get screwed.”

“He left because of you getting sick?”

“Oh, yeah. It was charming.”

“I’m sorry,” Reid said, feeling awkward.

“Me, too. At least we didn’t have kids. Leaving me when things got tough was bad enough, but leaving them…” She rinsed a glass. “Okay, this is officially time to change the subject. Let’s talk about something happy.”

Just then Lori stepped into the kitchen. “I can help,” she said.

Madeline sighed. “No, you can’t. You cooked dinner. We’re cleaning up. Go rest.”

“I’m not tired.”

“Then watch TV. Read a book. Contemplate the ever expanding universe.”

“I’m going,” Lori muttered and left.

Reid stared after her. “She’s acting weird, even for her.”

Madeline smiled as if she knew a secret. “It will pass.” She rinsed another plate and handed it to him. “Lori is really special.”

“I agree.”

“I wouldn’t want to see her get hurt.”

Okay, so he wasn’t as quick on the uptake as he could have been. Madeline wasn’t making conversation. She was probing and warning.

Normally that sort of thing made him want to run into the night, but now he found himself willing to have the conversation. Why was that?

He supposed some of it was that he liked Lori. He liked talking with her, annoying her, even kissing her. The kissing had been really good. Better than good. Under other circumstances he would have taken things further.

Need filled him. It had been a hell of a long time since he’d gotten laid. Under the circumstances, it was going to be a while longer. After that damn article, he wasn’t exactly eager to be with anyone. Not when he knew what the woman in question would be thinking. But Lori was different. She was…

He became aware of Madeline staring at him.

“Sorry,” he said. “What was the question?”

“I didn’t ask one.”

“Right. You were going to warn me to stay away from Lori.”

“Now why would I do a thing like that?” She began rinsing flatware. “I’m the oldest. It wasn’t easy for Lori when we were kids. I was smarter, prettier, more popular.” She paused and wrinkled her nose. “Gee, that makes me sound like an egotistical bitch. But it’s true. Mom was drunk all the time, Dad was gone. He ran off while she was pregnant with Lori. We didn’t have any money and it was hard. Add to that the fact that Lori grew up in my shadow. It’s no surprise that she can’t decide if she loves me or hates me.”

Reid stared at her. “Lori doesn’t hate you.”

“I know. That’s what’s so great about her. She could and no one would blame her. Least of all me. But she doesn’t. She invited me to come live with her as soon as she found out about my disease. When I hesitated, she physically packed all my stuff herself and hired the movers. She’s my rock.”

She reached for a pot. “This has got to be so hard on her. I’m the reason her childhood sucked, she loves me more than anyone in the world and I’m dying. How on earth is she supposed to reconcile that?”

Reid didn’t know what to do with all the information Madeline had dumped on him, but he didn’t doubt it was true. He could feel it in his gut.

“How did you figure all this out?” he asked. “Lori didn’t tell you.”

“Of course not. She wouldn’t want to burden me with what she wrestles with. But I watch and listen. She’s so much more than she believes she can be.”

“I know.”

She looked at him. “I thought you might. So what are you going to do about her?”

“I have no idea.”

Lori wasn’t his type. She wasn’t the kind of woman to enjoy a hot night and move on. He wasn’t good for anything else. Which meant avoiding her was the best solution for both of them.

Yet he found himself wanting to be with her. Not just in bed, but out of it as well.

“You’ll figure it out,” Madeline told him. “Just try not to hurt her. She’s more fragile than she looks.”

He thought Lori was a rock, but maybe there was more to her than just sarcasm and being everyone’s source of strength. Maybe there were sides of her no one saw.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen,” he admitted. “This isn’t the sort of thing I’m any good at.”

“Then maybe it’s time you learned.”

REID SAT IN HIS OFFICE at the sports bar and went through invoices. He generally passed any paperwork to the three assistant managers who really ran the place, but today, for some reason, he wanted to feel useful.

He sorted the paperwork by vendor, then went onto his computer and compared this month’s bills with those from the previous three months. He wasn’t sure what he was looking for but it seemed a logical way to figure out if anyone was trying to hide kickbacks or stealing.

He heard footsteps in the hallway.

“I swear, I saw him,” a woman said as she and her friend walked past his office on the way to the restrooms. “He’s so good-looking. And I don’t care what that bitch reporter said. He was great in bed.”

“I thought so, too. It could have been a little longer, but then it always could have been a little longer.”

They laughed. The sound was cut off when the bathroom door swung shut behind them.

Reid turned his attention back to the computer, but his concentration was shot.

He had no idea who those women were or when he might have slept with them. For all he knew, they’d had a threesome. At least they hadn’t been complaining about his technique.

But that wasn’t much comfort. He turned off his computer and left the paperwork on the desk. Nothing felt right anymore, he thought as he grabbed his jacket and headed out. He needed something to do with his day—something that mattered. Pretending to run the sports bar and hiding out at Gloria’s didn’t cut it.

He drove east, crossing Lake Washington, then turned aimlessly through Bellevue. He stopped in front of a large sporting goods store and stared at the display. God, he missed baseball. Sports had always been a way for him to escape. They had given him purpose and a goal.

He grabbed his cell phone and dialed a familiar number.

“What’s up?” he said when Cal answered.

“Not much. Where are you?”

“Not at the sports bar,” Reid told him. “Is there a place in Seattle where kids need sports equipment? Like a school in a poor part of town or a club or something?”

“Sure. Hold on.” Reid heard typing, then Cal continued, “There are a couple of after-school places where poor kids go. They probably need supplies and equipment. Why?”

“I gotta do something. You got an address?”

Cal read it off, along with a phone number. After Reid hung up with Cal, he called and asked to speak to the director. A woman got on the phone.

“Do you have a yard there where kids play?” he asked.

“Yes.” She sounded cautious.

“How’s the equipment situation? I’d like to send over some balls and bats and other stuff. You could use it?”

“Of course. Always. Who is this?”

He hung up.

Two hours later he was parked across the street from a beat-up old building. About thirty kids gathered around the large delivery truck. They cheered when the equipment was unloaded.

“I don’t understand,” an older woman was saying. “This man just called and asked if we needed it. Are you sure it’s free?”

“Everything’s been paid for,” the delivery guy said. “Just sign that you received it and we’re good.”

The woman smiled, then signed.

Reid shifted into first and drove away.

CHAPTER NINE

REID ARRIVED back at Gloria’s house to find Lori waiting for him. It was after four and her shift had officially ended. Sandy’s car was parked in the large circular drive, which meant Lori had no reason to stay.

Except to see him.

Watching those kids with their new sports equipment had gone a long way to making him feel less like a loser. Having Lori hanging around to see him cemented his good feelings.

“You stayed,” he said as he smiled at her.

“I have to talk to you. Privately.”

He liked the sound of that. For reasons he couldn’t explain he kept remembering that kiss. He’d wanted to repeat it, but had never found the right opportunity.

He followed Lori to the back of the house. There was a small den, with a television and stereo equipment on one wall.

Lori shut the door behind him. He moved toward her expectantly. She stopped him with a single sentence.

“Some TV producer called here, looking for you,” she said.

His desire froze and disappeared.

“What did you tell him?”

She pressed her lips together. “Her. I lied. I said I didn’t know who you were and that I had no idea what she was talking about.”

“Thanks.”

“Not thanks. I don’t want to have to do that sort of thing. The reporter looking to ambush someone was bad enough. Now this.”

“I can’t stop them. What do you want me to do?”

“Not be this way. I don’t get it. I can’t begin to understand who or what you are. On the one hand, you have moments of kindness and intelligence. On the other hand, you seem willing to have sex with most women in this country. Or any country, I’m guessing. None of this makes sense.”

Her energy went beyond annoyance. She seemed as much confused as frustrated.

She put her hands on her hips as she faced him. “How can you be so interested in volume? How can you not care about the person inside?”

“Because for you it’s all about the person inside,” he said.

“Of course. I want to have a relationship to go with my sexual encounter. That probably sounds really backwards to you.”

“It doesn’t,” he said as he wondered about the men in her life. Who were they and why wasn’t she married? Had she been the one to resist or hadn’t anyone asked?

“Are you seeing anyone?” he asked.

“What? No, but that isn’t the point.”

“I get the point. I was just curious.”

She folded her arms over her chest. “We’re not talking about me. Explain the thought process, Reid,” she said. “Why on earth do you act this way?”

There were a hundred different answers he could give. Slick lines he’d used before. But he didn’t want to share any of them with Lori, so he settled for the truth.

“I’m not the kind of guy women marry,” he said. “I’m not the kind of guy women get serious with.”

Lori waited a few seconds, opened her mouth, then closed it. “That’s it? You’re a dog when it comes to women because it’s not your fault?”

“I’m not a dog. I’m very clear on what’s going to happen and what isn’t. I tell the truth.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry.” She crossed to the leather sofa and sat down. “You’re saying you act this way because the world has low expectations and you’ve chosen to live down to them?”

Not exactly how he would have phrased it, he thought, feeling uncomfortable. How had they gotten onto this topic to begin with?

He crossed the room and sat at the other end of the sofa.

“You don’t think very much of me,” he said.

“You don’t give me reason to think better.”

She was right. Most of the time he didn’t care what women thought of him. Enough worshiped him that he didn’t give a damn about the rest. But for some reason Lori was different.

He drew in a breath. “There was a girl,” he said slowly. “Jenny. I met her when I was drafted into a farm team.”

He looked at Lori. “That’s a minor league baseball team. All the major league teams have farm teams to groom players.”

She smiled and even with her glasses, he could see the corner of her eyes crinkle. “I know what a farm team is,” she told him. “I’m not a huge fan, but I’m not totally ignorant.”

“Good. So I met Jenny and it was amazing from the beginning. She was pretty and smart and funny and I was crazy about her.”

Lori shifted on the sofa. Her mouth twisted slightly, then she said. “So you were normal once.”

“More than that. I was in love.”

He didn’t like remembering how it had been back then. The good times with Jenny had been the best, but the crash…he’d wondered if he would ever recover.

Lori’s hazel eyes darkened slightly. “I can’t imagine you in love. You mean like being faithful and wanting a future in love?”

Her voice sounded tight. He wanted to believe that was about envy or something, but he had a feeling it was just a whole load of disbelief.

“I asked her to marry me.”

Lori’s breath caught. “I didn’t know.”

“No one does.” He leaned forward, resting his forearms on his thighs and stared at the ground. Without wanting to, he remembered everything about that night. It had been warm, but raining. The rain was the reason he hadn’t been playing. A three-day soaker had trashed the field. He could smell the dampness in the air and someone’s cooking a couple of apartments over. He and Jenny had been sitting on the steps leading up to her place.

He remembered the feel of her body so close to his, the way her long straight blond hair had gleamed in the moonlight. He’d looked at her and known she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. She was all he’d ever wanted—someone he could love forever. So he’d asked her to marry him.

“She said no.” He spoke the words flatly, as if they had no meaning. As if he couldn’t remember what it had been like to hear her faint giggle of surprise.

“I’m sorry,” Lori said.

“Don’t be sorry yet, because that’s only part of it. She said she wasn’t interested in marrying me. She thought I was a lot of fun and great in bed, but marriage was out of the question. I wasn’t the kind of guy women married. She was actually seeing someone. He was going to propose and she was going to say yes. I was the kind of guy women had a last fling with, but not the kind anyone wanted to be with for the long haul.”

LORI HAD A RESTLESS NIGHT and a difficult morning. She couldn’t seem to concentrate on what she was doing, mostly because she kept reliving her conversation with Reid.

While she knew he was telling the truth, she still had trouble believing any woman could reject him so easily. Sure, he was too good-looking to be real but he was charming and fun and just thinking about having him kiss her again was enough to make her weak at the knees, which made her want to pound her head against the wall out of sheer humiliation, but there it was. The reality that Reid was the kind of guy women loved. Even smart women who knew better. Apparently self-awareness was very different from immunity.

She couldn’t get her mind around the fact that someone he’d been in love with had walked away from him. Had, in fact, rejected him cruelly. There had to be more to the story.

Lori knew many of her questions would never be answered—especially the one about why this was so fascinating to her. She didn’t want to know the answer to that.

She finished clearing the dishes from lunch and loading the dishwasher. Then she went to check on Gloria.

Her patient was reading in bed. Gloria set down her book when Lori entered the room.

“My oldest grandson’s wife is coming to visit,” Gloria said, her voice sounding more resigned than pleased. “She had a baby recently. The biological father came from a sperm bank, if you can believe it. I’ll never understand why Cal wanted to get back together with a woman who would do that sort of thing. He could have done so much better than some breeding cow who…”

Lori raised her eyebrows.

Gloria drew in a breath, then let it go slowly. After a second, she spoke again. “My grandson’s new wife is coming by to visit. She’s bringing her new baby. Won’t that be lovely?”

Lori grinned. “I think you’ll enjoy the company.”

“I like babies,” Gloria said slowly. “Regardless of where they…” She paused again. “Penny is very pretty. I’m sure her baby will be especially attractive.”

“You’re making progress,” Lori told her. “How does that feel?”

“Awkward and foolish most of the time,” Gloria admitted. “But you’re right. It makes a difference. I want my family in my life and if this is what it takes, then I’m willing to do it.”

“The things we do for love.”

Gloria stared at her. “Or don’t do. Why aren’t you married?”

“No one asked.”

“I find that hard to believe. You’re perfectly capable.”

Lori knew that there was a genuine compliment buried in the less than elegant words. “I should have that stitched on a pillow. ‘Perfectly capable.’”

“You know what I mean. You’re the sort of woman who would make someone a good wife.”

“You’d think that, wouldn’t you? But apparently men everywhere decided they could live without me.” She spoke lightly, not wanting to admit there might be any pain inherent in her situation. She was nearly thirty years old and no man had ever fallen in love with her.

Her sister’s theory was that she deliberately picked men she could never care about so it was easier for her to keep her distance. Lori wasn’t sure. She’d never been in love, so maybe Madeline had been right. And she did tend toward men who were safe.

Except for Reid. Not that she could ever really care about him, but he was someone she could dream about.

She’d gone her entire life without having a crush on someone. Why did she have to have one now? And on him?

“You’re not sexy enough,” Gloria said.

Lori stared at her. “Excuse me?”

“Men are stupid about sex. Always have been. You don’t try to make yourself attractive.”

“I dress appropriately for my job.”

Gloria shook her head. “Don’t pretend that this is how you are during the day and it’s totally different the rest of the time. You’ve made a career of blending into the background. I’m not fooled. Hand me my purse.”

Lori reached for the leather handbag by the bookcase and passed it across to her patient.

“Maybe I like my life,” she said, more than a little annoyed. “Maybe I don’t appreciate your criticism.”

Gloria slipped on her reading glasses and pulled out a Palm Pilot. “I’m the queen bitch, girly. What makes you think I care?”

Lori tried to hide her smile, but couldn’t. “You’re not all that.”

Gloria looked at her over her glasses. “I’m all that and more. Write this down.” She read off a phone number. “You want Ramon and only Ramon. Tell him I sent you. That should put the fear of God into him.”

“Who, exactly, is Ramon?”

“My hairdresser. And don’t panic. I’m an old woman and he does what I say. But with your hair, he could do something amazing.”

Lori resisted the need to finger her long, wavy hair. It had always been a disaster she didn’t know how to control. Deep down inside, she’d always wondered if a great cut could make a difference. But she’d been afraid to try before, so she’d left her hair long and kept it back in a braid.

Still, she was tempted. Would changing her hair make Reid see her differently? And how much did she hate that he was the first place her mind zipped?

“Thanks,” she said. “I’ll think about it.”

“You’ll call,” Gloria said. “That’s an order.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Good.” She glanced at the clock. “Now put my purse away and help me to the bathroom. Penny will be here any minute.”

TWENTY MINUTES LATER Lori opened the door to find an attractive woman holding a baby on the wide porch. The woman seemed tense and apprehensive.

“Penny Jackson,” the woman said with a tight smile. “Not Buchanan. Which I’m sure Gloria hates. For a woman who was a pioneer in her day, she has some very particular ideas about the rest of the world. Not that I care. I don’t care. Except she’s Cal’s grandmother and my grandmother-in-law, so even though I don’t want to care, I actually do.”

She paused, sucked in a breath and seemed to relax. “You’re probably thinking you don’t want to let the insane inside. I totally get that.”

Lori grinned. “I’m a professional. The insane don’t scare me.”

“Good to know. What about mean old ladies?”

“I’m fearless.”

“I wish I was.”

“You will be. I’m Lori Johnston, Gloria’s day nurse,” she said as she stepped back. “Come on in.”

“Do I have to?” Penny asked, but she stepped inside. “I’m married to Cal, Gloria’s oldest grandson, which you might have figured out from my senseless rant. This is Allison.”

Lori stepped close to smile at the baby, ignoring the audible ticking of her biological clock. All she had to do was see a small child and her body sent up hard to ignore get-pregnant-now messages.

“She’s beautiful,” she said honestly, gazing down at the sleeping baby.

Allison was all pink skin and pale wisps of hair. She smelled like powder and vanilla and her mouth was that perfect rosebud shape women spent the rest of their lives trying to duplicate.

“I think so,” Penny told her. “You should see Cal. He’s crazy about her. I know some men are freaked out about babies, but he’s not. He wants to be a part of everything. He’s even crabby that I’m breast-feeding because it means he can’t help.” She sighed. “He’s a great guy.”

Lori felt a flicker of envy. Not because she was the least bit interested in Penny’s husband but because she was stupid enough to want a great guy for herself. Which wasn’t likely to happen. She had never been in love. Not even once. Obviously there was something wrong with her.

Her lack of love wasn’t all one-sided—after all, no one had ever been in love with her, either. Although she wasn’t sure if that made the situation better or worse.

Lori grabbed the large diaper bag hanging from Penny’s shoulder.

“I’ll put this in the kitchen for you,” she said. “Would you like anything while you’re visiting Gloria? Tea? Decaf? A sandwich?”

Penny sighed heavily. “I want to say a speedy escape, but I have a reputation for being tough. Difficult even. I once stabbed a man. It was an accident, but still. I refuse to be afraid of one small old woman.”

Lori felt her eyes widen. “You stabbed someone?”

Penny shrugged. “Assuming I survive this, I’ll give you the details.” She raised her head and thrust out her chin. “Okay. I’m braced.”

“You don’t need to be braced,” Lori told her. “You’ll do fine. Gloria has changed.”

“So I’ve heard, but as I’ve yet to see any flying pigs, I’m reserving judgment.”

Lori resisted the need to say, “You’ll see.” Instead she led the way into Gloria’s temporary quarters.

“Penny’s here,” she said as she stepped aside to let in Cal’s wife and the baby.

Gloria raised her bed and smiled welcomingly. “Penny! How delightful to see you. Thank you so much for coming. I know you must be busy, between taking care of Allison and cooking those delicious meals at the restaurant.”

Penny came to a stop and stared at Lori, then looked back at Gloria.

“Come here,” Gloria said, coaxingly. “Oh, what a beautiful little girl. So precious. She’s perfect and she looks just like you.”

Lori did her best not to look smug as she stepped out of the room and shut the door behind her.

AN HOUR LATER Cal arrived with Reid on his heels. Both men carried large takeout bags from the Downtown Sports Bar. Lori knew that was where Reid supposedly worked, although he hadn’t been going in much. Not that she blamed him. The whole world wanted to talk about how lousy he was in bed or find out if he wasn’t. Under those circumstances, she supposed that laying low made sense.

“Your wife and daughter are already here,” Lori said as she took the bags from Cal. “I’ll get this ready to serve. Do you want to eat in Gloria’s room or the dining room?”

Cal glanced back at Reid who tilted his head toward the study, where Penny and Allison were still entertaining Gloria.

Cal looked doubtful. “I want to be in the mood to eat.”

“You will be,” Reid told him. “Trust me. Go on. Say hello. Give it five minutes. If she bugs you, we’ll eat out here.”

“You’re setting me up. I can feel it.”

“Would I do that to you?” Reid asked, looking innocent.

“In a heartbeat.” Cal disappeared down the hall.

Reid followed Lori into the kitchen.

“How’s it going with Penny?” he asked.

“I haven’t heard any screaming, so that’s a good thing.”

“It is.”

He began unpacking the bags. She did the same, trying not to say anything as she opened containers of chicken wings and various sauces, spinach-and-artichoke dip with chips, fried shrimp, potato skins and taquitos.

Behind her, she heard a low chuckle. She turned to find Reid grinning at her.

“Say it,” he told her. “You’re dying to yell at me about the food, aren’t you?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Liar.”

He was standing close enough for her to see the various shades of brown and gold that made up his irises. His lips curved into a smile that made her insides get all squishy. Suddenly nothing about the food bothered her. Instead she wanted to press up against him and have a second go-round of that kissing action.

Several things prevented her from acting on any impulses. For one thing, except for the brief greeting at her house, he’d never tried to kiss her again, which wasn’t a good sign. For another, they weren’t alone in the house. But the real reason was she was terrified of being rejected.

Reid was the kind of man who took what he wanted. She was right there, practically begging. His lack of response was answer enough.

“You hate the food,” he said.

It took her a second to figure out what he was talking about. “I’m sure it’s fine.”

“It’s not healthy.”

“I’m not going to be eating it.”

The right side of his smile curved up a little more. “Come on, Lori. Give in. You want to yell and I’m willing to listen. You might even get through to me. Look at all that fat, those empty calories. Not a vegetable in sight. Well, except the spinach and artichokes. So that’s something, right?”

Thoughts of kissing faded as indignation flared inside of her. She knew that he was baiting her and didn’t mind in the least. A loud argument about his disgusting eating habits might make her forget how much it hurt to want someone who didn’t want her back.

“You’re a grown man, not some teenager,” she said. “You know better. Worse, you’ve been a professional athlete. I know you’ve been educated on what is best for your body. If you expect any kind of peak performance, you have to give your body something to work with. This garbage will kill you. That’s the bad news. The good news is you’ll go slowly, so you’ll have plenty of time to enjoy your fade to black.”

“That’s my girl,” he said.

She narrowed her gaze. “I’m serious. Eat a real vegetable. Some fruit. A lean protein. With this kind of food, you might as well drink drain cleaner and be done with it.”

“He’s not going to listen.”

She turned and saw Cal standing in the doorway to the kitchen. “I know. I’m ranting because I need to, not in an effort to change him.”

“That makes sense.” Cal walked toward her. “Although if anyone could get through to him, I’m guessing it would be you. You seem capable of working miracles.”

For a second her heart froze in her chest. She felt the absence of beating and a distinct coldness.

She could change Reid? How? Because he’d said something to his brother? He’d hinted that he cared about her, or that he…

“I don’t know what you did to Gloria,” Cal continued, “but it’s damned incredible.”

Oh. Right. Gloria.

Her heart resumed a disappointed beat.

“I only pointed out the possibilities,” she said, going for cheerful and hoping she didn’t fail. “She made the decision to change. It’s a work in progress and she’s doing great.”

“More than great,” Cal said. “I don’t know how to thank you.”

“No thanks are required.”

Reid put his arm around her shoulders and hugged her close. “Can I pick ’em or what?”

“You don’t get credit for me,” Lori told him, ignoring the heat his touch generated. “The nursing agency sent you a list of names and you picked me at random.”

Reid looked wounded. “You don’t know that.”

“I’m willing to put money on my guess.”

“She doesn’t take your crap,” Cal said. “I like that.”

“She keeps me honest,” Reid said. “No one’s done that before.”

Lori tried to take pleasure in the compliment but she didn’t want to keep Reid honest. She wanted to keep him up nights with unquenchable desire. Like that was ever going to happen.

“Honest, huh?” Cal raised his eyebrows. “Interesting.”

“Yeah, yeah. Fascinating,” Reid grumbled. “Let’s eat. Gloria must be hungry.”

Lori wrinkled her nose. “There’s no way your grandmother will eat this horrible, greasy food.”

“You think you know everything,” he said, stepping away from her. “But you don’t.”

Then he handed her the plate of wings with the bowl of dipping sauce in the middle.

“Cal, grab the rest of this,” he said. “I’ll bring in plates and napkins. Tell Penny I don’t want any complaints about the food. Now that she’s a hot chef, she complains too much.”

Lori felt awkward as she carried the food into Gloria’s room. There was a little too much family for her comfort and she didn’t want anyone to think she assumed she was one of them.

But when she entered the study, the number of chairs pulled up to Gloria’s hospital bed indicated a party of four joining the elder Buchanan.

Lori hovered and fussed with the food and the plates until Reid pushed her into a chair and took the one next to her.

“I should—” she began, only to be cut off when he handed her a plate covered in fried food.

“Eat,” he said.

“But…”

He picked up a taquito and placed it between her lips. “Eat.”

She ate.

Conversation flowed easily. She listened, rather than participated, as they talked business and family. She’d already met Walker and could place him, but Reid and Cal’s sister, Dani, was still a mystery to her.

“Walker has a handle on the business,” Cal was saying. “Sales are up at The Waterfront.”

“I’m a little annoyed by that,” Penny admitted. She’d placed the baby on the bed next to Gloria and pulled up the side bars to keep everyone safe. “I was gone for nearly two months. How could sales be up without me there to supervise the meals? I hate the thought of being replaceable.”

“You’re never that,” Cal told her.

Gloria chewed, then swallowed. “Obviously you left a well-trained staff in place. Plus, Walker mentioned something about an increase in advertising. That wouldn’t have helped if not for your excellent menus.”

Cal and Penny exchanged a look of surprise, then Penny murmured, “Thank you.”

Lori felt like a proud parent watching a child in her first play. She wanted to remind them all that Gloria wasn’t really evil. She’d just lost her way. But Lori didn’t want to break the mood by saying that. Instead she enjoyed the death food and the way Reid sat close to her. Was it totally stupid of her to pretend that this was real? That she was one of them and that Reid…what? Cared about her?

The longing was as intense as it was foolish. If she were friends with someone in her situation, she would tell her friend to get over the guy who was out of reach and move on with her life. That time spent dreaming was just a waste.

Reid passed her a couple of chicken wings. “Secret recipe,” he whispered in her ear. “You’ll love them.”

As he spoke, he winked. Talk about charming. Now that she knew a little more about his past, she couldn’t keep telling herself he had the emotional depth of a cookie sheet. There was more to the man than just good looks and a way with women.

The information hardly helped her situation. He was still as out of reach as the moon and she was nothing more than a coyote howling for what she would never have.

CHAPTER TEN

CAL, PENNY AND the baby left just as Sandy arrived for her evening shift. She helped Lori pack up the leftovers.

“Take any of this,” Lori said. “I doubt Gloria will have seconds and Reid doesn’t need them.”

Sandy grinned. “I don’t know. I think he looks pretty great.”

“I was thinking more of his heart than how he fits in jeans,” Lori said dryly. “And aren’t you engaged?”

“I’m in love, but I’m not dead. He’s still a fine-looking man. Any reason you’re not going for some? I know he’s interested.”

Lori felt a shift in the space-time continuum. She glanced at the clock on the microwave and half expected to see it moving backward.

“Excuse me?” she said, her voice low and breathless. “I don’t think so.”

Sandy shrugged. “I could be wrong, but I don’t think so. He looks at you like…” She paused, then said, “Like you matter. You’re important to him.”

“Reid? Me?”

Lori hated how desperately she wanted the other woman’s words to be true. Once again she was the poster girl for pathetic.

“I have a brain,” she said. And fairly small breasts—an obvious fact she didn’t share.

“Reid takes what’s easy because he can,” Sandy told her. “But none of us mean anything to him. There’s something about him. Something that makes me think he’s been through something bad. I don’t know. Maybe not.”

Sandy was surprisingly perceptive, Lori thought. The other woman had guessed what Lori had never imagined. Remembering Reid’s sad tale about love and rejection made her want to find him and tell him she was sorry for assuming he was too shallow to have actual feelings. It also made her want to ask for the rest of the story. There had to be more than he was telling her.

“You do what you want,” Sandy said. “You’re going to anyway. But don’t count Reid out just yet. I think he’s hot for you.”

Lori didn’t know what to say. Worse, she could feel herself blushing, which she hated.

Sandy was a great person with a generous personality. She wasn’t the type to be cruel on purpose. No doubt she actually thought Reid could be interested in Lori—a fact that made Lori question her intelligence.

But what was worse was the awkward combination of hope and resignation Sandy’s faith inspired. Lori wanted Reid to have feelings for her. But as much as she wished that, it was so unlikely as to be impossible to imagine. It was like being sixteen again—but with a level of self-awareness that made her ache.

“I should be going,” Lori said. “See you tomorrow.”

“Have a great night.”

Lori collected her purse and jacket, then walked toward the front of the large house. But as she passed the staircase, she found herself turning and climbing up.

Her first couple of days in Gloria’s employ, she’d explored the old mansion. But after getting a basic layout of the place, she’d never gone looking around again. Once Reid had moved in, she’d decided to make the upstairs off-limits.

Even so, she had a good idea of which suite he’d claimed for his own. In the back of the house was a bedroom, living room, bathroom combination with a balcony and a great view of the city.

She walked to the half-open door and knocked.

From the hallway, she couldn’t see anything, but seconds later, Reid appeared.

She’d just spent most of the afternoon with him, so seeing him shouldn’t have been any big deal. But it was. Her blood raced through her body and she had the amazingly stupid urge to flip her hair over her shoulder. Fortunately, it was safely secured in a tight braid and therefore unavailable for flipping.

“Hey,” he said with a slow, easy grin that made her insides shimmy and shake. “I thought you’d gone home.”

“I’m going now,” she murmured, barely able to form words.

What was it about this man that got to her? Why him? Why now? Sure he was good-looking, but she’d never been into appearance before. So what else? What combination of chemistry and need made her unable to dismiss him?

He stepped back and she followed him into the living room of his suite. The furniture was elegant but comfortable, the colors dark. Like everything else in Gloria’s house, it was perfect.

Reid wore jeans and a sweatshirt. Sometime after coming upstairs, he’d kicked off his boots and wore only socks on his feet. He was still substantially taller than her, which made her feel feminine and incapable of rational conversation.

There was an open bottle of beer on the coffee table. She recognized the label as one from a local microbrewery.

“Want one?” he asked.

She shook her head, then changed her mind and said, “Sure. Thanks.”

He collected her a beer from a built-in refrigerator disguised as an end table, opened it and handed it to her.

She took the icy bottle, then put down her purse and perched gingerly on the edge of the sofa. He joined her at the opposite end, looking interested and expectant. Right. Because she didn’t usually spend her free time up here.

“I’m sorry about before,” she said slowly. “About what I said and what we talked about.”

He frowned slightly. “Can you be a little more specific? I don’t exactly remember what moment you’re thinking of.”

“Oh. Sure. Before. I was ragging on you about the women you’re with and you told me about Jenny. I didn’t know there was something like that in your past. I shouldn’t have judged you.”

He picked up his beer and took a sip, then turned his attention back to her. “You like judging me. It makes you feel superior.”

Guilt and embarrassment made her flush. “That is so untrue,” she said, lying and proud of it.

“Come on, Lori. You think I’m totally useless.”

“Not useless. Just lazy.”

“Ouch.”

“You don’t try because you don’t have to. Like with Jenny. Did you really just give up on love because she rejected you or was it a convenient excuse to never fall in love again?”

“Double ouch. You really don’t like me, do you?”

She saw a flicker of emotion in his eyes. Had her questions hurt him? She knew he was capable of being wounded, she just didn’t think she could do it herself.

“I do like you,” she said impulsively. “A lot.”

“Really?”

Oh, God. She could feel herself blushing. “What I mean is I think you’re a great guy. You just like to hide your assets.”

He raised one eyebrow and she blushed again.

“My assets,” he said slowly. “Interesting. And they would be…?”

He was baiting her. She wanted to think he was flirting with her, but she wasn’t totally sure.

“You’re smart, you care about people. You have a heart, you’re perceptive. But you conceal all that under a façade of being superficial and useless.”

“Playing baseball isn’t useless.”

“I wasn’t talking about your job, I was talking about your attitude. You act as if none of this is your fault. Like sleeping with the nurses. You want me to believe it just happened. But it didn’t. You made it happen.”

She felt a little more comfortable and relaxed slightly. “You don’t take responsibility in your relationships. Now I kind of know why.”

“I see you’re still very comfortable judging me.”

“I don’t mean what I said in a bad way.”

“Of course not.” He studied her. “You’re angry I didn’t try to sleep with you.”

It was her worst nightmare come true. For possibly the third time in as many minutes, she felt hot with humiliation, only this experience was about a thousand times worse than the others. She couldn’t speak, couldn’t breathe, could only try to brace herself for the fact that he was going to tell her exactly how unappealing he found her. He would be kind about it, of course. He would say something polite but the message would be the same. Not her, not ever.

“You didn’t ask,” he said, staring directly into her eyes. “You went out of your way to make sure I knew you thought I was a bug, which I could have handled. But the not asking?” He shrugged. “That’s why.”

She felt as if her brain was caught up in a feedback loop. Information swirled around, repeating itself over and over again.

“You slept with Sandy and Kristie because they asked?”

He nodded.

She opened her mouth, then closed it. There had to be more to this, she told herself. “You’re saying you only sleep with women who offer?”

“Pretty much. If they come on to me, or show up naked in my room, I’m game.”

She couldn’t believe it. “So you want a relationship where all you have to do is show up?”

“It’s not a relationship,” he told her. “It’s sex, and yes.”

“And women do this? They show up and offer themselves?”

“On a regular basis.”

“You have no other standard?”

“No husbands or serious boyfriends.” He grinned. “I don’t want my ass kicked.”

“But if you could take the guy, then married would be okay?”

He shook his head. “That was a joke, Lori.”

“I’m not sure it was. I can’t believe that’s your only benchmark. So any age? Any appearance?”

“I like women. All women. Always have.”

But there had to be something else driving this. “You aren’t that much of a dog,” she said. “You have feelings. You have to want more.”

“Why? Because you do?”

They were so not going to talk about her.

“Because you’re a real person, not a sexual machine.”

He grinned. “I like the idea of being a sexual machine.”

Sometimes he was such a guy. “Reid, I’m serious.”

“Why? What’s the big deal? You want to figure this out and you already know the answer. Don’t make it more complicated than it is. Women offer and I say yes. That’s it.”

She wanted to accuse him of lying, but she had a bad feeling he was telling the truth. “I’m offended by the stupidity of women who walk around offering.”

“Why? They’re getting what they want.”

She had a bad feeling he was right. “And you are, too?” she asked. “Your standard of answering the call of ‘come and get it’ is met? I can’t believe you don’t require more of yourself. Based on what you’re saying, if I’d walked in here and said ‘hey, big guy, want to get some?’ we’d be having sex right now?”

She hadn’t thought her question through. She’d just been talking. But now the words were out there and she couldn’t remember ever being more horrified.

Because the tension in the room had cranked up considerably and Reid was looking at her in a way he never had. She was hyper-aware of him, of his maleness, of how much she wanted him. She’d voiced her greatest desire and by doing so, had opened herself up to her greatest fear.

He was going to reject her.

Oh, sure, he liked her enough to do it nicely, but the result would be the same. He was going to be kind and she was going to be devastated.

“I need to get going,” she said as she stood and started to back out of the room. “You’re busy and I should get home. This has been great but…”

He stood and grabbed her hand. She tried to tug free of his hold, but he didn’t let her. Darkness invaded his eyes, but not in a scary, slasher-movie kind of way. Instead it was as if there was something smoldering in his gaze.

She groaned silently. Smoldering? Was she so far gone she was thinking words like that? What was wrong with her?

Stupid questions, she thought grimly. What was wrong with her was about six foot three, all muscle, charm and with some kind of body chemistry that reduced her to quivering without trying.

“I’m not your type,” he said, staring at her, as if trying to figure out what she was thinking.

She opened her mouth, then closed it. What was she supposed to say to that?

He took a step closer. Or maybe she’d just stopped pulling back. The humiliation was inevitable. Why not get it over with so she could hit bottom and start the healing process?

“You would never in a million years want a guy like me,” he continued. “You think I’m shallow and useless.”

What? “That’s not true,” she told him. “I think that you’re…”

She’d always read that people tended to use less than ten percent of their brains, which left a vast untapped wilderness of who knows what swirling around in there. Her eleventh percent suddenly jolted to life.

“You think I don’t like you,” she said, barely able to believe it was true. “You’re afraid I think you’re a total waste of space.”

“Not afraid. You’ve told me exactly that, more than once. In many ways.”

She had, she realized. When they’d first met. But why would her opinion matter? He couldn’t possibly…there was no way he actually, maybe, liked her, was there?

On the heels of that unexpected revelation came the thought that maybe she’d hurt him. It didn’t seem likely, let alone possible, but once the thought formed, she couldn’t let it go.

“Reid, I don’t think badly of you,” she whispered. “I can’t. You’re not what I thought.” She smiled. “Sometimes you’re worse, but mostly you’re better.”

He continued to hold her hand as he stared into her eyes. There was something compelling about his gaze, something that made her lean forward and wish.

“You confuse the hell out of me,” he admitted. “I prefer my women simple.”

Inadequacy swamped her. She jerked her hand free and stepped back. “I won’t keep you anymore.”

She started to turn, then he was there, in front of her, pulling her close, swearing softly, which was crazy enough, but then his mouth was on hers and crazy morphed into unbelievable.

She didn’t pull back because she couldn’t and she didn’t want to. She gave herself up to the slow brush of his mouth on hers. The kiss was slow. Sexy and enticing, but at a speed that implied they had all the time in the world.

He reached up and rubbed his thumb against her bottom lip. Her instinct was to bite down on his thumb, but that seemed too aggressive and sexual and it wasn’t anything she’d ever done before, so she stood there, feeling awkward and stupid.

“Relax,” he murmured, stepping closer until they were touching everywhere. He took off her glasses and put them on the coffee table. “Unless you don’t want to be doing this.”

She wasn’t sure what “this” was, but if it involved feeling the hard planes of his chest against her breasts and their thighs rubbing, she was all for it.

“I’m fine,” she murmured.

“Fine?” His voice was teasing. “Wow. I’m excited now. I’ve made you feel fine. Maybe I do deserve what they said about me in the newspaper.”

She wanted to tease back, but she was too scared. She stared into his dark eyes and wished for inspiration.

“Reid, I…” There weren’t any words. She had no idea where this was going, but she didn’t want him to stop. More would be better. But how to say that?

In the end she gave up on saying it right and simply leaned forward a few inches and kissed him back. Lightly, almost chastely, lips on lips, her hand pressing against his chest.

He was warm all over. Heat seemed to radiate from him. She was aware of that, along with the faint scent of his body. He smelled clean and tempting at the same time. All man and sin and sex.

Need flickered to life. Maybe she was like all those other women, offering herself to him in the hopes that he would take her on. If so, there was nothing she could do about it. She was afraid of being rejected, but for once in her life when it came to a man, she was more afraid of not trying.

She raised herself up onto her toes, wrapped both arms around his neck and kissed him again. This time she put her body into it, leaning into him, trying to convey her desire with something as simple as a kiss.

For a second nothing happened. But just as she felt the waves of humiliation rising up inside of her, he wrapped his arms around her body and kissed her back.

He tilted his head and swept his tongue across her bottom lip. She opened for him instantly, wanting everything he could give her. When he eased inside, she met him eagerly, kissing him back.

Their tongues circled and stroked, rubbing, reaching, playing. He moved his hands up and down her back, each time dipping lower until he cupped her rear. When he grabbed her curves, she felt a surge of wanting rush through her. At the same time, she instinctively arched forward, bringing her belly into contact with his erection.

He was hard! The happy thought filled her brain like a confetti explosion. He was really, really hard. Guys couldn’t fake that.

She was so happy, she started to laugh, which made him pull back and study her.

“You’re going to make this difficult, aren’t you?” he asked.

She couldn’t stop grinning. “No, I’m not. I’m enjoying myself.”

“You’re not supposed to laugh.”

“There are rules?” she teased, then rested her hands on his shoulders, pressed against him and rubbed her belly against his erection. “Come on, Reid. We can play, too.”

“I didn’t think you’d be the play type.”

She wasn’t, usually. But these were not normal circumstances.

“I’m not excited about playing escaped prisoner and the warden’s wife, but I don’t need every moment to be solemn.”

He raised one eyebrow. “Have you ever tried escaped prisoner and the warden’s wife?”

“No.”

“Then you can’t know if you’ll like it or not.” He stepped back and grabbed her hand. “Come on.”

CHAPTER ELEVEN

LORI LET Reid lead her through the living room and into the massive bedroom. She had an impression of dark furniture and a bed the size of her kitchen. He released her, turned on a small lamp on the night-stand, then pulled back the comforter.

Oh, God. They were going to have sex.

It was what she wanted, she reminded herself. It had been what she’d wanted practically from the first moment she’d seen him. But this all felt strange. It was too conscious. She liked to feel a little swept away with her intimacy.

He turned back to her and she had no idea what to do. Was she supposed to take her own clothes off? He was a man used to being adored by women. All women. So how, exactly, did he expect things to go?

“Shoes off,” he said as he approached.

“Okay.”

She toed off her thick nurses’ shoes and kind of kicked them away. Instructions made things easier.

He moved behind her.

“Relax,” he said, his voice low and close to her ear.

“Not likely.”

“Want to bet?”

“Sure. I keep alternating between excitement and terror, which I probably shouldn’t tell you. I’m just not sure how things are going to—”

He kissed her neck.

He stood behind her, his hands on her shoulders. There had been a little breath of air as a warning, but even so the kiss had caught her off guard.

She had no real thoughts about her neck. It was fine, it supported her head, sometimes she remembered to put sunscreen on it. But she’d never considered anything about it erotic.

She did now. He pressed an openmouthed kiss against her suddenly sensitive skin and made her break out in goose bumps. He squeezed her shoulders, holding her in place as he slowly, so slowly, kissed his way down to the top of her crew-style sweater. Then he shifted to the other side and did it again.

That was it—a simple kiss. Lips on skin with a slight flick of his tongue. But it was one of the most sensual moments of her life.

Her breasts felt heavy and swollen. She wanted his hands on them, his mouth on her nipples. Between her legs, flesh heated.

She started to turn toward him, but he wouldn’t let her. “Not so fast. We’ve got a lot of work to do first.”

Work? What work?

He dropped his hands to the hem of her sweater and tugged. She helped him pull off the garment and happily toss it onto a chair by the armoire. Once again she tried to turn toward him and once again he stopped her. Then his mouth returned to her neck.

He kissed her slowly, thoroughly. He moved down her shoulder and took a gentle bite. Shivers rippled through her. He rested his hands on her hips, just holding her in place. She couldn’t help thinking that his hands could be doing other, more interesting things. Then she got lost in the way he nibbled across her back and licked down her spine.

Nothing was rushed. Over and over he kissed her, teased her, until she felt that time had actually stopped. They were alone on a different plane. Need pulsed in time with her heartbeat, but she understood the appeal of making it last.

He returned to her neck and licked the sensitive skin behind her ear. The action both aroused and tickled. She giggled softly, then caught her breath as her bra fell off. She hadn’t even felt him unfasten it.

He moved his hands to her waist, then slid them up her ribs. At the same time he bit down on her left shoulder, then licked away any hint of pain.

She didn’t know what to think about first—the feel of his mouth or the movement of his hands. But when he reached her breasts, she allowed herself to get lost in those feelings.

Still standing behind her, he cupped her curves. With his thumbs and forefingers, he captured her nipples. Pleasure shot through her and her breath caught. Her legs began to tremble.

He teased her tight flesh over and over, brushing the tips and sending ribbons of need all through her.

“Open your eyes,” he murmured in her ear.

The words startled her so much, she did as he asked. She looked down and saw his tanned hands caressing her pale skin.

A blush heated her cheeks, but she couldn’t seem to look away. Not when he again rubbed her nipples and she could both see and feel what he was doing. Then he moved close, pressing his erection against her rear, making her wish they were naked so he could be inside of her.

She knew she was wet. She could feel the dampness of her panties. She wanted him touching her there. She needed to feel him touching her everywhere.

Without thinking, she reached for the button on her jeans. She unfastened it, then had the zipper halfway down before she realized what she was doing.

“Don’t stop,” he whispered, as he continued to stroke her breasts. “Don’t stop.”

So she lowered the zipper all the way, but she couldn’t seem to find the courage to push down her jeans. Fortunately, that wasn’t required. He dropped his right hand to her belly then went down, down, down, slipping under her bikini panties. His warm fingers found their way through her curls and between her legs. He went right to the core of her and found it on the first try.

She was swollen and ready. The first touch made her gasp. The second made her want to scream.

He used his first two fingers to pleasure her, finding a circling rhythm that sent her spiraling into madness in a matter of seconds. It was as if he could read her mind, or maybe just her body. Not too fast, not too slow and most important, the perfect amount of pressure.

She sagged against him, letting him support most of her weight. Her legs threatened to give way at any moment, but she didn’t want to move. What if he stopped and never started again? She would die from the need.

Round and round, moving faster and faster, pushing her closer to the edge of her release. Need filled her, making it difficult to breathe or think. She wanted to beg or scream. She wanted more.

Even as he touched her between her legs, he also caressed her breasts, moving back and forth, squeezing her sensitive nipples and pushing her closer and closer to coming. Her muscles tensed in anticipation, yet she didn’t want to come. Not yet. Everything felt too good.

Without thinking, she shoved down her jeans and kicked them free. Then she widened her stance, giving him more access. In response, he slipped both fingers inside of her, filling her. She felt her hot, wet, swollen flesh part for him and it wasn’t enough.

“I want you inside me,” she said, stunning herself by speaking the thought aloud. She could feel his hard-on pressing against her from behind and she wanted more.

“Soon,” he told her. “Just relax.”

Relax? Relax? He moved out of her and was once again circling that sensitive part of her. She was seconds from coming, not sure how she was going to keep standing long enough, but she didn’t dare suggest a shift in positions because then she might miss the whole thing and that would kill—

He stopped and stepped back.

Lori felt the breath leave her body as she struggled to understand what was happening. She was naked, except for socks and how embarrassing was that, seconds away from possibly the greatest climax of her life, begging Reid to be inside of her and he was stopping?

He moved in front of her, pulled her close and kissed the hell out of her. There were lips and tongues and reaching and then his hands were between her legs and rubbing and she was so damn close.

Her climax exploded without warning, making her cling to him in an effort to stay standing. Muscles convulsed and throbbed as pleasure poured through her. She might have screamed, she wasn’t sure—but as they were kissing, it didn’t much matter.

The man knew what he was doing, she thought hazily as he continued to touch her, drawing out every ounce of amazing without pressing too hard on her suddenly sensitive flesh. Then, when the shuddering had stopped and she could breathe again, he eased her back onto the bed, lay down next to her and stroked her face.

Without her glasses, the room was blurry, but Reid was close enough to be exactly in focus.

“Still fine?” he asked, the corners of his mouth twitching with an almost-smile.

She sighed. “Better than fine. Much, much better.”

“Good.”

He sat up and pulled off his University of Washington sweatshirt. Despite her weakened condition and general sense of well-being, she couldn’t help notice the perfectly toned abs and his smooth, muscled back. The man was a walking, breathing advertisement for great genes, a challenging workout and the sense to take advantage of both.

Maybe it was tacky, but she couldn’t help wanting to see the rest of the package.

She reached for the button of his jeans.

“Impatient?” he asked.

“A little.”

“I like that in a woman.”

While she took care of business on her end, he stretched out an arm behind her and tugged on the coated rubber band holding her braid in place.

She abandoned his jeans. “What are you doing?”

“Unfastening your hair. I’ve been wanting to see it loose for weeks now.”

“My hair?”

“Uh-huh.”

After what had just happened, she was more than willing to give him anything he wanted. So she sat up and reached for her braid.

“Get naked,” she told him.

“Yes, ma’am.”

He pushed off jeans and briefs a lot faster than she was able to deal with the braid. Apparently not sure what else to do with his time, he leaned in and licked her right nipple.

Despite her recent orgasm, fire shot through her, all the way down to her crotch. She fell back on the bed and resisted the need to grab his head and hold him captive over her breasts.

“You’re distracting me.”

“Ignore me.”

He knelt over her and drew her nipple into his mouth. First he flicked his tongue against the sensitive peak, then he sucked. Hard.

Forget the hair, she thought as she closed her eyes and gave herself up to the experience of being seduced by Reid Buchanan.

He moved back and forth between her breasts. He used his mouth, his tongue and his fingers to explore every inch of them several times over.

She writhed beneath him, feeling her body ready itself for a second round. Her insides hungered to be taken by this man. He was hard again or still or always and she subtly tried to shift so that he could slide inside of her. But he resisted.

“Soon,” he said against her breast.

“You told me that before.”

“I’m not lying.”

Before she could complain, he began moving down her body. First he kissed her breastbone, then her belly. He teased her belly button with his tongue and continued his journey south, finally reaching his destination between her legs.

Lori closed her eyes and decided to accept her fate at the hands of a man determined to make her boneless. She thought about mentioning the fact that she’d already come once and that it was unlikely it would happen again. Except there wasn’t anything ordinary about making love with Reid, so who knew what would happen.

He parted her with his fingers. She felt anticipation, the coolness of his breath followed by the warm, erotic touch of his tongue.

Oh, yeah, she thought as she relaxed into the slow, steady movements. Just like that.

He circled her with the tip of his tongue, then used the flat part to stroke her senseless. He was a man on a mission and she found that she liked that. He was patient, he read her body and she found her muscles tensing in anticipation about forty-five seconds after his first touch.

She’d always needed a slow build, but not today. She went from intrigued to panting in far too short a time. Even as the pressure inside her increased, she tried to figure out what it was he was doing that was so great. Then she decided she didn’t care and lost herself in the ride.

He caressed her, moving back and forth against her center. Need made her part her legs more, as if trying to offer all she was to him. She was torn between going for it and making it last longer. Everything felt too good, she thought as she felt herself getting closer and closer.

Her legs began to tremble. She clutched the bottom sheet and dug her heels into the mattress. He moved a little faster, then gently inserted a single finger inside of her.

She hung suspended for a heartbeat, then two. Tension built until she knew she was going to be ripped apart. It was her last conscious thought as her release crashed through her, causing every muscle to contract and her whole body to get lost in perfection.

She cried out, caught her breath and cried out again. She pushed against him, needing more, wanting everything and then getting that and more. She rode his finger, gasping with thanks as he pushed in two. She felt herself contract around him. It was too much.

She couldn’t wait to do it again.

A few minutes later her heartbeat had slowed from hummingbird speed. She lay on the bed, exhausted and exhilarated. She wondered if she would ever be the same again.

“Mission accomplished,” she told him. “I’m officially boneless.”

Reid lay next to her, his head propped on his hand. He smiled slowly. “I’m glad.”

“No, seriously. This was amazing. You could get your own cult.”

Her words made him smile. He liked that he’d pleased her. No, more than liked it. He felt as if he could take on the world.

Everything about her screamed satisfaction. Her skin was flushed, her eyes dilated. She looked like a very happy woman.

“I don’t need a cult.”

“Are you sure?” she asked. “I could be president.”

Her eyes were hazel. He’d never noticed that before. They were large and sexy and he found himself wanting to get lost in them.

He’d wanted to please her for a couple of reasons. First because he always liked his partner to enjoy the experience, but also because he had something to prove. That damn article still haunted him.

But somewhere along the way, that hadn’t mattered anymore. He’d wanted to make the experience great because of who Lori was. Because he wanted to please her. Specifically her.

She sat up and unfastened the rest of her braid, then flopped back down on the bed. He reached out and fingered a wavy curl.

She turned toward him. “At the risk of being greedy, I’m ready for more.”

So was he. He’d been hard and ready since she’d showed up. It had been a hell of a long time.

He opened a drawer in the nightstand and grabbed a condom and quickly put it on. Then he pulled Lori close and began to kiss her.

Her body felt good against his. She was soft and yielding in all the right places. He liked how she smelled and tasted and responded. He liked pretty much everything.

She reached between them and touched him.

“Oh.”

Oh? He was about to ask what was wrong when he realized he wasn’t hard. Until maybe three seconds ago, he’d been a rock. Now…nothing.

“Give me a second,” he said and reached for her breast.

He was fine, he told himself. Everything worked. Everything always worked. He was a fucking machine.

He tried to find humor in the play on words, but couldn’t. Then he focused on how great her breast felt in his hand. Then he did his best to remember a porn movie he’d seen. Any porn movie. Crowds and crowds of people doing it. A whole stadium humping.

It didn’t work. He wanted her. He wanted her bad. He wanted to be in her and coming and feeling great. But his body refused to respond. If anything his dick shrank down to the size of a grape.

He rolled onto his back and swore. Humiliation made him rest his forearm over his eyes and wish to hell he was anywhere but here.

“Reid?” Lori’s voice was soft and tentative.

He raised his other hand. “Don’t,” he told her. “Whatever you’re going to say, just don’t. I want to totally be in the moment, so later, when I’m asked, I can point to this as the official low point of my life. I know it’s the newspaper article. I know it’s pressure. But knowing doesn’t help.”

“There’s a bright side.”

He lowered his arm and looked at her. She was bent over him, her long hair teasing his arm.

“There’s no damn bright side,” he said, trying not to sound angry at her. “This doesn’t happen to me. I know guys say that, but for me, it’s true. It sure isn’t you. I enjoyed what we were doing. It was all I could do to let you come first and not just take you in the first five seconds. I’m better than this.”

She smiled. “Better doesn’t come close. Right this minute, you’re the best sex I ever had. Seriously. So what does that say about my life? Talk about putting things in perspective.”

Against his will, he started to smile. She grinned, then began to chuckle.

“I’m pathetic,” she said, still laughing.

“No. Never. You’re beautiful.”

And she was. Naked and flushed and smiling at him. Without thinking, he kissed her. She parted and then he was in her mouth.

God, she felt good. He touched her body, stroking her everywhere. He reached between her legs and she parted for him. She was so wet and hot. He wanted to be there.

Without thinking, he shifted so that he could push inside of her. He had a moment of panic, knowing he couldn’t possibly, but then he was filling her. He was hard, he thought with relief. Then being hard didn’t matter. Not when he could thrust into her and take them both the long way home.

CHAPTER TWELVE

LORI DID HER BEST to slow her breathing. It was kind of embarrassing to still be panting ten minutes after the fact. But considering all her body had been through in the past half hour, maybe it was to be expected.

She still felt boneless and incapable of actual movement. Every part of her groaned with satisfaction.

Reid shifted so that she lay next to him. He wrapped an arm around her and ran his hand down her side.

“Amazing,” she breathed. “Seriously, that cult thing? I’m totally there.”

Instead of answering, he kissed her. There was tenderness in the gesture and without warning, she felt tears in her eyes.

Tears? After sex?

That got her attention. She sat up and glanced at the clock on the nightstand. It was nearly five—a full hour after her shift ended.

“I should be going,” she said, mostly because of the unexpected emotion, but also because she rarely arrived home much later than this. “Madeline will wonder what happened to me.”

“Let her get her own guy,” Reid said, pulling her back into his arms. “Call and let her know you’re not going to be home for dinner, then stay with me.”

Several thoughts filled her brain at once. In no particular order they were the fact that Reid seemed to want her to stay. Didn’t guys want to do the deed, then cut and run? She would have bet a lot of money on the fact that he was one of them. A guy who was only in it for the sex shouldn’t want company after. So was he just an anomaly or was this a different situation?

She knew which she wanted it to be but it wasn’t like she was going to be asking the question.

Second was the “let her get her own guy” comment. As in he was her, Lori’s, guy? On what planet?

Finally the fact that she wanted to stay but was afraid. Afraid of caring, afraid of feeling, afraid of him crushing her like a delicate girl bug overwhelmed by feelings.

A strong, self-actualized woman would face her fears. A smart woman interested in survival would disappear into the night.

He handed her his cell phone and then he smiled.

The smile got her. They were naked, in his bed and she’d just had the most incredible sexual experience of this or any other life. Why would she want to walk away from that?

“Hi, it’s me,” Lori said when her sister picked up.

“How interesting,” Madeline said, a smile in her voice. “According to the caller ID, I should be talking to Reid Buchanan.”

“I’m, ah, using his cell phone.”

“Are you going to tell me why?”

Lori knew she would confess everything later, but right now she didn’t want to get into the details. “I wanted to let you know that I’ll be a little late tonight.”

Reid pushed her onto her back and began licking her breasts. Despite the liquid fire pouring through her, Lori did her best to keep her breathing totally normal.

Madeline laughed. “Who would have thought my totally straightlaced sister would fall for a bad boy baseball player? Have a good time.”

Reid grabbed the phone, said, “Don’t wait up,” into it, then disconnected the call and slipped his hands between her legs. “Where were we?”

Thirty minutes and two orgasms later, Lori resurfaced. She lay on her side, facing Reid and lightly traced his features.

“You’re very good-looking,” she said.

He frowned. “Don’t say that.”

“Because it’s a bad thing?”

“Because it’s one of the things you don’t like about me.”

“That’s not true. I like that you’re pretty.”

He winced. “No guy wants to be called pretty. I’m not pretty.”

“You’re close.”

He grabbed her hand and pressed a kiss to her palm. “You think I’m shallow and that I’ve skated by on my talent and good looks.”

“A little. Do you want to tell me that you’ve done any differently?”

“I want to, but I’d be lying.” He ran his fingers through her hair. “Now this is pretty.”

“Gloria wants me to cut it.”

“What do you want?”

“I don’t know. I’ve always hated my hair. When I was younger, it was a hideous color of red. I was teased all through school. It’s gotten better in the past few years, but with the waves and everything, I don’t know what to do with it. So I ignore it.”

“Ignoring something doesn’t make it go away,” he told her.

“If you’re going to get all deep and sensitive, a lot of women are going to be disappointed.”

“What about you?”

This was the second time he implied that she mattered in some way. Lori hated how much she wanted that to be true.

“I’m open to change.”

“Except when it comes to your hair.”

He had her there. “Maybe I should get it cut.”

“You should do what makes you happy.”

Being with him made her happy, she thought as she pressed her hand against his bare chest. She liked the feel of warm skin and the way the hair there tickled. She still couldn’t believe that she was here, naked, able to touch him however she wanted.

He stroked her cheek, then rubbed his thumb over her lower lip. “Why nursing?”

“I wanted to help people and I wanted to be needed.” She drew back slightly, startled by her own honesty.

“Good reasons,” he said.

“Partially altruistic, partially selfish,” she admitted. “I also wanted a career that I could count on. I knew that I would have to take care of myself financially and nursing has made that happen.”

He smiled. “No plans to marry a rich guy?”

“No plans to marry anyone.”

“Why not?”

She had a fairly clear understanding of why not. The bottom line was she didn’t trust any man enough to believe he could love her.

“I’m not the marrying kind. I’m okay with that.”

“You don’t believe that humans have a biological need to pair bond?” he asked.

She blinked at him. “What did you say?”

His smile turned smug. “I went to college.”

“Where you majored in cheerleaders and being charming.”

“I got a degree in cultural anthropology.”

The surprises kept on coming. “Why?”

“I thought it sounded cool and would get me women.”

She laughed. “At least you’re honest.”

“I try to be.”

“Okay. Back to your original and slightly startling question. Yes, I suppose most people need to pair bond. But the need is stronger in some than in others. It’s not a big deal for me. I just want to be able to take care of myself. Buying my house put me on that road.”

“Your whole face changes when you talk about your house.”

“Does it? I guess because I really love the place. I love that I can decorate it however I want. I love the size and the location. I love that I have an emergency fund in case I need a new water heater or there’s a plumbing problem. I love that every month I add a little extra onto the mortgage payment so I can pay the place off in fifteen years instead of thirty. I feel safe there.”

His dark gaze never left her face. “Feeling safe is important to you.”

He wasn’t asking a question, which was fine. He was plenty smart enough to figure out her issues.

“I grew up in a double-wide in Tacoma. It was no one’s idea of a great life,” she said.

“Madeline mentioned your mom was difficult.”

“Oh, really?” She flopped onto her back. “What else did my sister tell you?”

“That you were the one your mother took things out on.”

That was true, Lori thought sadly. “My mother used to drink. A lot. She was a pretty mean drunk.”

“And now?” he asked.

“She’s been sober seven years.”

“So that’s good, right?”

“I guess. She’s trying to put the pieces back together.”

Reid leaned over and lightly kissed her. “Are you going to let her be successful?”

She looked up at him. “Don’t get too insightful. It will change my opinion of you.”

“I can handle it. Are you going to answer the question?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted slowly. “Sometimes I really want her to make this work. I want her to be successful.”

“But?”

“But I’m still mad as hell at her.” She wrinkled her nose. “I know that’s awful. She’s my mother. She’s putting her life back together and I’m still pissed because of how she treated me when I was twelve. I should get over it and move on.”

“That’s your head talking. Not your heart.”

She narrowed her gaze. “Excuse me, but a degree in cultural anthropology doesn’t mean you get to play pretend psychologist with me.”

He grinned. “What if we play it naked?”

“We are naked and the answer is no.”

He kissed her again. “You’re not easy.”

“Thank you. It’s been my life’s ambition to not be easy.”

“So really. Why aren’t you married?”

He had a streak of tenacity she hadn’t expected. There was no way she was going to admit the real reason, so she settled for truthful but slightly off the mark.

“No one ever asked,” she told him, not bothering to mention she didn’t let anyone get close enough to think about asking.

Nothing about Reid’s expression changed. “Any near misses?”

“Not one.”

“So did you not meet the right guy or were you scared?”

Okay, now they were getting a little too personal. “Hey, what about you?” she asked. “All these questions apply.”

“I don’t date many guys. Sure, I tried for a while but it was just a fad.”

She laughed. “You know what I mean.”

“I fell in love once, remember? I was willing to do the marriage thing.”

With a woman who didn’t want him, Lori thought sadly. Life was nothing if not perverse.

DANI WALKED INTO the Daily Grind and glanced around for Gary. Sometime in the past couple of weeks they’d established a standing coffee date. She waved when she saw him already seated at a table in the corner. What did it say about her life that the best guy she’d met in years turned out to be gay?

“How’s the job search going?” he asked as she took the seat opposite his.

“Okay. I’ve had a couple more interviews, but nothing I’ve really clicked with. The problem is I love working with Penny at The Waterfront. Sure it’s hard work, but we’re all part of a team.” She grimaced. “Could I sound more like a cliché?”

“Probably not, but is that bad? Would you rather work in a place where you’re not part of a team?”

“No and no. That’s why I turned down the last job offer. I know you said to be patient and you’re right. It’s just…” She took a breath. “I hate to admit this, but with Walker running the company, I kind of don’t want to move on. Dealing with him makes me feel connected to my family.”

“They’ll still be your family, no matter where you work,” Gary told her. “Are you still thinking about looking outside of Seattle?”

“I should, but I haven’t yet. I don’t want to move away.”

“Then you don’t have to. There’s no law.”

He smiled at her—a sweet, gentle smile that made her happy they’d become friends. He was a good man and knowing there could never be anything sexual between them helped a lot. She didn’t need to make another mistake in the man department.

“I can’t blame you for wanting to stay here,” he told her. “I would never leave Seattle. All my family is here, as well. I love them all, even my sister who has spent the past six months setting me up with every single woman she knows. It’s getting so I’m afraid to take her calls. The last woman was very nice, but she had this grating voice…”

He kept on talking, but Dani wasn’t listening. She was too stunned to do anything but stare at him.

If his sister was setting him up with women then that meant…“You’re not gay?” she blurted without thinking.

Gary paused in the act of raising up his container of coffee. Confusion drew his eyebrows together. “You thought I was gay?”

Oh, God.

She wanted to bolt from the room and disappear into the crowd outside. How could she have been wrong about that? What would he think of her? Worse, he was such a sweet guy and she really liked him and now she’d practically shouted that there was something about him that made her think he wasn’t into women. No straight guy was going to take that as a compliment.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, forcing herself to look at him. “I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t mean…”

So what hadn’t she meant? There weren’t a lot of interpretations to “You’re not gay?” It wasn’t as if she could pass off the line as him not understanding what she meant.

She opened her mouth, then closed it again.

Gary sipped his coffee. “Gay,” he said slowly. “Interesting.”

She drew in a breath. Interesting wasn’t bad. “You don’t hate me?”

“No. Why would I?”

“Some men wouldn’t consider the comment flattering.”

“I can see that. It makes me want to dress better.”

She risked a smile. “You dress fine.”

“A little too conservative,” he said with a shrug. He glanced down at the ivory shirt and dark slacks he wore. “My sister keeps getting after me to try a little color. Maybe a pink shirt,” he teased. “Of course that would make me look more gay.”

She felt herself blush. “You’re taking this really well.”

“It’s kind of exciting. I’ve never thought of myself as having a secret life before.” He leaned toward her, his pale gray eyes bright with excitement. “So what made you think I was gay?”

“I’m not sure. You’re nice and quiet and you’ve never tried to pick me up. Not that every man does. I’m not all that.”

“You kind of are,” he said.

Dani didn’t know how to take that. Was Gary flirting with her? And if he was, how did she feel about it?

“You’re not married,” she said.

“You’re not, either.”

“I used to be. My divorce is barely final.”

“Hard time?” he asked sympathetically.

“No worse than anyone else’s, I’m sure,” she said. “Hugh wasn’t a bad guy.” She paused. “Wait a minute. You know what? He was. He was totally awful.”

She explained how she and Hugh had met in college and how in his senior year, he’d been injured playing football.

“I stood by him all through his surgery, his therapy,” she said. “I’m not asking for a reward, but I stayed. I loved him and even though I knew he’d be paralyzed from the waist down forever and that we could never have a normal physical relationship again, I wanted to marry him.”

“What happened?”

“We got married. I bullied him into finishing his degree and then continuing his education. Eventually he got a job as a professor. I worked at Burger Heaven. I thought we were happy.”

They hadn’t been, of course, but she’d thought their problems were just like everyone else’s. A little boredom, a few too many weekends spent on separate activities.

“It wasn’t perfect,” she continued. “But I thought…” She shook her head. “I was wrong.”

“He asked for a divorce?”

“Not just that. He told me I hadn’t grown enough as a person. That I hadn’t kept up with him. It was totally humiliating.”

She remembered wanting to scream at the unfairness of the accusation. She’d wanted to point out that all her free time had gone into looking after him and supporting the two of them. If she hadn’t grown it had been because she’d been busting her ass for him.

“Worse,” she continued, “It turned out to be total crap. He’d been having an affair with one of his students. Or maybe more. I’m not sure. I caught him cheating.”

“I’m sorry,” Gary said and reached out to take her hand in his.

She let him and then studied their joined fingers. His touch felt nice. Safe. There wasn’t even one tingle, but after all she’d been through, she’d decided that sexual attraction was highly overrated.

“So you’ll get over him,” he told her. “You’ll recover.”

“I’m over Hugh,” she said wryly. “If only my sad story ended there.”

“It doesn’t?”

“Oh, please. Why make a fool of myself once when I can easily do it again?”

He winced. “What happened?”

“Rebound guy. Ryan. He was perfect. Charming, handsome, caring and everything I needed to help me get over Hugh. He knew exactly what to say, how to say it.”

“So what was the problem?” Gary asked.

“He was married. Yup, a lying, cheating weasel dog. I thought about having him shot. One of my brothers used to be a Marine. But in the end I let him live.”

“Probably for the best. You wouldn’t like prison.”

“At least I wouldn’t have to deal with my very tragic love life.”

“It is a unique story,” he said.

She smiled. “I agree. I doubt you can top it.”

“I can’t. So now what?”

“Now I find a new job and look for my father. Which is mostly your fault. You keep talking about the importance of family and now I have to go for it. I just don’t know how to start.”

“Have you tried a private detective?”

She shook her head. “I never thought of it before. Maybe one could help. I don’t have very much to go on.” In truth she had nothing, but miracles happened.

“I can give you a couple of names. Both really good at what they do.”

She pulled her hand free. “Excuse me? How does a guy who teaches theology and math know about private detectives?”

“I’m a man of many talents.”

“Apparently. Okay, sure. Names would be great.”

He pulled a pen out of his jacket pocket and then passed over a napkin. “Why don’t you give me your number and I’ll call you with the information.”

Fifteen minutes ago she wouldn’t have hesitated to give him the information. Gay Gary was safe. But if he wasn’t, and why would he lie about that, things were different. What if he called her for other reasons? Like to ask her out?

Dani wasn’t sure how she felt about that. Getting involved should be illegal in her case. Yet this was Gary. She liked him and nothing about him even hinted that he could ever be a threat. Of course the neighbors of serial killers always went on about how nice they were.

Still she wrote down her cell number and passed it back to him. Sometimes you just had to take a chance on people.

LORI ARRIVED FOR WORK a few minutes early. She locked her car, then stared up at the imposing house. For the first time since being hired to help Gloria, she didn’t want to go inside.

She could come up with a thousand reasons why, but they all covered up a single truth. She was scared. Truly, down to her bones, terrified.

Yesterday and last night had been incredible. Being with Reid had made her feel in the best way possible. They’d made love one more time before she’d finally gone home. It had been well after midnight and Madeline had waited up.

The teasing had been worth it, Lori thought as she walked toward the front door and let herself in with her key. She’d endured the teasing happily because she was still glowing from all that Reid had done to her body.

And it wasn’t even all about the sex. It had been great—but not really the best part. The best part had been being with him. Spending time with the man and finding out she liked him even more than she’d thought possible.

Which made the morning after even more awkward. What had their time together meant to him? What was he thinking? Was he sorry? Did he want to pretend it had never happened? What were his expectations? She supposed she should be asking the same of herself and assuming she got a say in how things went, but that was a level of maturity she wasn’t going to reach in this lifetime. She would have to settle for being terrified he had regrets.

Because she didn’t. She wanted more of last night. She wanted to talk and laugh and touch. She wanted to be with him in every way possible.

She was realistic enough to accept that a good part of his interest in her was due to the fact that he was basically trapped in the house. There weren’t the regular hordes of admirers all around. When that changed, so would his opinion of her. But until then…

She knew that as a strong, self-sufficient woman she should demand answers. Instead she decided that not acting scared out of her mind would be enough of a win for today.

She hung up her coat in the hall closet and set her purse on the shelf, then walked into the kitchen.

Reid was already there. He stood with his back to her, which meant she could look all she wanted, so she did.

Her gaze dropped to his butt, which deserved its own billboard campaign. A hot, needy quivering began low in her belly. She must have made a sound because he turned.

For a second he just looked at her. She couldn’t seem to bring herself to move. Fear tightened her chest until her heart hurt. Then he smiled.

It was a slow, sweet, sexy smile. The kind designed to reduce a sensible woman to a puddle. It about did her in. Then he walked over, put his arm around her waist, pulled her to him and kissed her so thoroughly she practically floated.

“Morning,” he murmured.

“Hi.” Was that low, sexy voice hers?

“Did you sleep well?”

“Not really.” She’d been too busy thinking about what they’d done to want to sleep.

“Me, either. You get inside my head. I can’t decide if that’s good or bad.”

She couldn’t, either.

He stared into her eyes. “I went out and got you scones. I know you like them. I didn’t know what kind, so I got one of each.”

Scones? He’d noticed she had a thing for scones?

“You didn’t have to do that,” she murmured.

“I know I didn’t have to. I wanted to.”

And just like that, the walls that had protected her so well, for so long, tumbled into dust.

REID MET PENNY in her office at The Waterfront. He and Penny had been friends through her first marriage to his brother, during the divorce and the years she and Cal had been apart. They were still friends now that she and Cal had remarried.

“You didn’t bring Allison into work today?” he asked as he took a seat. “I like holding her.”

“Because like every other female on the planet, she adores you.” Penny tossed down her pen. “I don’t get it. She’s only a few months old and the second you hold her, she gets spacey. It must be chemical.”

He grinned. “I’ve got it. Not my fault, but there it is.”

“Oh, please. Did you want to talk about yourself or did you want to visit with me?”

He loved riling Penny. “I get a choice?”

“I’m ignoring you,” she said. “Did you know Walker and Elissa are ready to start looking for a wedding venue? I was hoping they’d have it here, but Walker wants a non-Buchanan location. Which makes no sense to me. If it’s not here, I won’t be cooking.”

“Maybe he doesn’t want you to cater his wedding.”

The wrong thing to say, he realized as Penny glared at him.

“Why not? Are you saying my food isn’t fabulous enough? Is there even one chef in the entire state who is better than me?”

Reid held up both hands. “Truce,” he said. “Deep breath. This isn’t about your cooking. Did it occur to you that your brother-in-law might want to have the wedding somewhere else so that you could come and enjoy yourself as a member of the family rather than have to sweat cooking for a couple of hundred people?”

“No,” she admitted. “But my food would be way better.”

“It would. Think of how much Walker loves you. He’s willing to make the sacrifice and give up your talent.”

“You’re playing me,” she grumbled.

“Maybe, but I’m doing a hell of a job at it.”

“You don’t stink,” she said and leaned back in her chair. “Okay. Maybe I’ll allow them to go somewhere else. But I’m going to insist on catering the rehearsal dinner. What do you think about something with crab? And maybe—”

He groaned and dropped his chin to his chest.

“What?” she demanded.

“Not menus. Please. Anything but that. We can even talk about shopping. Just not menus or food choices or anything food-related.”

“All right. Another topic. My choice.” She studied him. “Are you dating Lori yet?”

Trust Penny to find a new way to torture him. She was good and he could respect that.

“We’re not dating,” he said calmly. They’d had a hell of a good time in bed the other night, but that wasn’t dating.

“Why don’t you ask her out? You like her. And don’t bother denying it. I can tell when I see you together.”

“I’m not going to deny it. I do like Lori. She’s great.”

She was a whole lot more than that. Pretty and sexy and smart. She didn’t let him get away with crap, which he respected.

Penny’s eyebrows rose. “Oh, my. So it’s possible I phrased the question incorrectly. Let me try again. Are you and Lori involved?”

He couldn’t seem to stop the grin he felt pulling at the corners of his mouth. He had a feeling Penny could see just about everything she wanted from the look on his face.

“We’re involved,” he admitted.

She shook her head. “I don’t know what to say. You like a woman you’re involved with. It’s not convenience or something to do to fill the time. This means something to you. Have you figured out that makes you practically normal?”

“I’ll never be normal, but don’t sweat it. Lori can handle me. No problem.”

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

“SHE WAS JUST SO imperious,” Lori complained. “Ask for Ramon. Tell him I sent you. Who does she think she is? European royalty? She’s some old woman with a broken hip. I don’t take orders from her.”

Madeline smiled serenely from the other side of the leather couch in the quietly elegant, upscale salon.

“Poor Gloria,” she said. “All this angst because she gave you the name of her hair person, as a favor, in case you forgot. As for taking orders from her, you kind of do. It’s part of the job description.”

Lori cupped her impossibly large latte and scowled. “If you’re going to be logical, we’re not having this conversation. I just can’t believe I’m here. What was I thinking? Nothing can be done with my hair. It’s impossible. Reid won’t even notice, and if he does he’ll think it’s hideous.”

Madeline sipped her own coffee. “Reid?” she asked innocently. “Why would he matter?”

Lori stared at her sister. “I’ll kill you, I swear. Don’t test me.”

“Oooh, violence. So it must be about him. Besides, you’ve never been willing to do anything for a man. Why is this one different?”

“He just is,” Lori muttered, not wanting to get into something she hadn’t totally figured out for herself.

Madeline smiled kindly. “Reid already thinks you’re great. He’s falling for you.”

As much as Lori wanted that to be true, she knew better. “One night of sex does not a relationship make.”

“Sometimes it helps. Why would he risk being intimate with someone he has to see every day if he didn’t care?”

“I don’t know. It had been a long time and I was accessible? Gloria warned me about him. I should have listened.”

“Honey, you were gone from the moment you saw him.”

It was true, although she’d rather be tortured than admit it. “I’m not like them,” she said instead. “Those other women he sleeps with. I’m not all fluff and beauty.”

“So he’s changing. Now he wants a little substance with his pretty. Why is that a bad thing?”

Because those words would never describe her, Lori thought, more resigned than hurt.

“I can’t do it,” she mumbled. “I won’t.”

“So you’re going to give up?” her sister asked. “That’s terrific. You meet a great guy you can’t stop thinking about and for reasons that make absolutely no sense, you walk away without even trying. Does it ever occur to you that the best things in life require a risk? They don’t just show up and shower you with everything you want.”

Lori set down her coffee a little harder than necessary. “Easy for you to say. If I remember correctly, that pretty much describes your life. When did you ever work for anything?”

“I showed up and got the job done,” Madeline said quietly. “Yes, I had some advantages. I know that, and they helped. Maybe being pretty got me on the cheerleading team, but it didn’t keep me there. I had to bust my ass to learn the routines. College wasn’t easy for me, either.”

“Did studying get in the way of your social life?”

Lori hated how she sounded even as she spoke. When she least expected it, she got lost in the bitterness of her past.

“I’m sorry,” she said quickly. “This isn’t about you, and I know it. I’m overreacting.”

“I know.” Her sister smiled at her. “You’re afraid. You’ve never really tried before when it came to a guy.”

“Ouch. I’m trying to bond here. Stop pissing me off.”

“I’m telling you the truth and you know it. I’ve loved you from the second you were born, Lori. You’re my best friend. I want so much for you, yet over and over again I’ve watched you walk away from what you want because you’re not willing to take a chance. I would hate to see you lose Reid for that reason.”

“I don’t know that I have him,” Lori told her. “I don’t think I do.”

“Then go after him.”

“Easy for you to say. When have you been hurt by a guy?”

As soon as the words were out, Lori desperately wanted them back.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

Madeline shook her head. “It’s okay. I’m the perfect one, remember?”

It was an old joke between them, but this time it was hard for Lori to smile.

“I know it’s hard for you,” Madeline said. “You want him and he’s amazing and that terrifies you. But you have to try. He’s too good to let go.”

“I don’t know how to compete with those other women. We have nothing in common.”

“Has it occurred to you that that might be a good thing? You’ve told me that Reid isn’t into relationships. He’s more a one-night-stand kind of guy. But that’s not happening with you.”

“Technically it was just the one night,” she muttered, then shrugged. “But yeah, he’s not hiding from me or anything.”

“So maybe you’re exactly what he’s looking for.”

“Maybe I’m not.”

Madeline frowned. “I’ve had it with you. I’m dying, dammit, so you have to listen to me. You care about this guy. You’re going to be fully engaged during this relationship. You’re going to give it your all and if it ends badly, then you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing you have nothing to regret.”

Except possibly a heart that could never be whole again.

But instead Lori said, “I hate it when you play the death card.”

“Go with your strengths, baby. Besides, the hair can be just the beginning. We can do a whole makeover thing. Clothes, makeup. You’ll make Reid crazy.”

While Lori liked the sound of that, there was still reality to face. “I’m not…you know…pretty.”

“Of course you are. Or you can be. You hide in those hideous scrubs, or that.” She pointed at Lori’s sweater.

Lori glanced down at the plain brown sweater she wore over jeans. “What?”

“It’s the definition of ugly. It’s too big and the color sucks the life from your face. You’re a blob in that. You have a great body—show it off. Flash a little boob at the guy. Men are basically as emotionally developed as the average dog. Show them the goodies and they’ll do almost anything.”

“That’s hideously sexist.”

“But true.”

Lori was tempted. She’d always stayed out of the game because it was easier than competing. But nothing had ever mattered to her as much as Reid. Madeline was right. Some things were worth the risk. And if she got crushed like a bug, then she would figure out a way to go on despite the pain. Plus, she could hold the whole thing over her sister’s head, and that was always fun.

“Okay,” she said as a tall, painfully thin man walked toward them.

“I am Ramon,” he said. “Who is Lori?”

“I am,” she said as she rose.

“Ah, yes. Gloria mentioned you had wild hair.” He smiled. “I like wild hair on a woman. It reflects her spirit, yes?”

Lori didn’t have the heart to tell him that her spirit was less “wild” and more “aging domestic tabby.”

“So, what are you looking for?” he asked.

She drew in a breath, then went with the truth. “A miracle.”

LORI WAS STARING at herself in the department store mirror so intently that she nearly ran into a pole. Madeline stopped and laughed.

“It’s you,” she said, sounding pleased. “Honestto-God you.”

“I can’t believe it,” Lori admitted.

Ramon had performed the requested miracle and it had been worth every penny of the hundred-and-twenty-dollar bill.

He’d started by chopping off about six inches of her hair, which had nearly given her a heart attack. Then he’d snipped and sliced and used a razor, thinning her hair and giving her layers. The whole time he’d raved about the various colors in her hair, how she would never need highlights and how beautiful the curls were.

Lori had protested, saying she had weird waves, not curls, but she’d been wrong. Apparently wearing her hair long her whole life had pulled the shape out of her curls. But now, with her hair just below her shoulders, there were curls. Lots of them.

Ramon had shown her how to use a couple of different products that both defined and separated the curls. He’d explained how she could blow dry her hair straight if she had the time and was interested in an upper body workout. Then he’d turned her to face her reflection and she’d nearly fainted.

Her hair was fabulous. Light and sexy and moving, and the color was incredible. Mostly auburn, but with hints of gold and blond.

Before Lori could bask in her newfound wonderfulness, Madeline had dragged her to the back of the salon where an evil woman had waxed her eyebrows. The pain had been intense, but brief. A total makeover had followed.

Desiree had promised a five-minute routine that would change everything. Lori had timed her. The makeup had taken seven minutes, but when she’d seen the results she decided not to complain about the extra time.

Her skin was luminous, her eyes huge. Lip gloss drew attention to her mouth that suddenly appeared full and really sexy.

Now, in the department store, Lori shook her head. “I can’t believe that’s me.”

“It is. Although, honestly, the glasses have to go.”

“I can’t wear contacts,” Lori said, tearing her gaze away from her reflection and following her sister into a department filled with really cute casual clothes.

“There are other solutions,” Madeline said. “Like Lasik surgery.”

“I’m not having a laser burn off my cornea just so I don’t have to wear glasses.”

“Beauty is pain. Besides, wouldn’t you like to see the digital clock in the morning?”

“I can see it just fine.”

“If you lean forward and drag it right to your face. Come on, Lori, it’s perfectly safe. Millions of people have had it done and they love the results.”

“You’re just flapping your lips. It’s easy for you to talk—no one is discussing burning off your cornea.”

“Fine. I’ll let the glasses thing go. Let’s find you some great jeans.”

Thirty minutes later Lori had three pairs of jeans that fit perfectly. She buttoned up the first of the blouses Madeline had brought her.

“It’s more fitted,” her sister said. “See how it follows the curves of your body. That’s a good thing. I brought in some sweaters, too. And look—no brown.”

“Very funny.”

But Lori wasn’t about to complain. She liked the dark green shirt her sister had picked out. It brought out the green in her hazel eyes.

Madeline forced her into colors she would never have tried on her own. Teals and dark purples, a fun sweater in a range of colors from dark orange to pale peach. The pile kept growing until Lori was sure she could feel her credit card trembling in fear.

“I don’t need all this,” she said, although she wasn’t sure how she would pick her favorites. Funny, but when she shopped on her own she hated the process. Nothing seemed right.

Her sister walked into the crowded dressing room with a simple black dress.

“I know what you’re going to say,” Madeline began. “‘Where would I wear it? It’s too expensive. It’s not my thing.’ Yada, yada. So you’re going to try it on and then we’ll talk.”

Lori took the dress, put it on a hook, then pulled her sister close.

“I love you,” she said as they hugged. “I want to make sure you know that.”

“I love you, too,” Madeline told her.

They smiled at each other, then Lori reached for the dress. “I really don’t have anywhere to wear this.”

“No one cares.”

They had to make a trip to the car to dump all the packages. Lori thought they were finished, but Madeline dragged her back into the mall and steered her toward a familiar store. Well, familiar from seeing it on the outside. Technically, Lori had never been inside.

“No way,” she said, balking at the entrance. “I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine. You wear ordinary panties and your bras are too plain. You’re with a great guy. He deserves a little lace and silk.”

With that, Madeline pushed her into Victoria’s Secret. “Trust me, he’ll love it.”

If he wanted to see her in her underwear again, Lori thought, both intrigued by the prospect of something sexy and nervous about Reid’s reaction to the new her.

Madeline began collecting scraps of silk and lace, beautiful bras with matching bikini panties. When she paused by a display of thongs, Lori shook her head.

“There is absolutely no way in hell you’re getting me into one of those.”

Madeline’s grin broadened. “Want to bet?”

REID WALKED INTO Cal’s office at the corporate headquarters of The Daily Grind and slumped into the leather chair opposite his brother’s desk.

“What’s up?” Cal asked. “You look beat.”

“I’m good. Still reading all the mail that was sent over. I’ve sorted it into piles by date.”

“Sounds organized.”

“It’s hell. So many kids write to me. Some of them want something but most of them are just trying to connect with me. They think that if they can see me or talk to me that it’s a big deal.”

“You’re a famous guy.”

“Famous for what?” Right now Reid felt about as important as last season’s program. “I’ve wasted the past year of my life. I got injured and it was my own damn fault.”

Cal leaned forward. “When you blew out your shoulder? That wasn’t your fault. You swerved to avoid some kids on the mountain. It just happened.”

“That’s what I told you,” Reid said, finally ready to admit the truth. “There weren’t any kids. I was drunk. That’s why I lost control and snowboarded into a tree. That’s why I lost my career. I was drunk and stupid. Then I read about these sick kids and I realized I don’t have the right to complain about anything. I should spend every day making their lives better.”

“That’s not your job,” Cal told him. “Life doesn’t work that way.”

“Then how does it work? I can’t be useless anymore. I’ve gotta make some of this right. I just don’t know how.” He slumped lower in his seat. “The press is still all over me. I get chased a lot when I go out.”

“It was a story designed to capture the world’s attention.”

“You know what? That doesn’t even bother me so much anymore.” What did he care about some woman he couldn’t remember? He knew how good things had been with Lori. Funny how that mattered a whole lot more now.

“I want to leave the sports bar,” Reid said. “I’m going to talk to Walker later.”

“You just said the press thing didn’t bother you anymore.”

“It’s not about that. I need to do something different. I’m not the right guy for the job. I don’t want to sit around and tell stories all day. I want to…” That was the hell of it. He didn’t know what he wanted to do.

“You’re rich, right?” Cal asked.

“Need a loan?”

“I’m good. I was thinking about you. You’ve got more money than you can ever spend.”

“True.”

“So start a foundation. A real one. Endow it with enough money that it functions off the interest, then set it loose on the world.”

Reid straightened. He didn’t know anything about foundations except that they did good stuff. He remembered how much he’d enjoyed watching those kids get that sports equipment. “I could focus on what I wanted,” he said more to himself than to Cal. “Kids and sports.”

“More than that,” his brother said. “You’re the guy everyone is interested in. You can get in places the rest of us can’t. You can get people to notice just by showing up.”

Reid knew that was true. When he made a call, he got through. “I could give without anyone knowing it’s me.”

“Is that what you want?”

Reid thought about all those letters and requests and how coldly they’d been answered.

“I don’t need credit for doing the right thing,” he said quietly. “Not anymore.”

LORI WALKED INTO Gloria’s room and braced herself for any number of comments. She was wearing new jeans and a fitted sweater. Despite her inexperience, she’d managed to reproduce Ramon’s riot of curls and she’d done the makeup thing without poking herself in the eye with the mascara wand.

But now that she was here, she felt awkward and foolish. Like a goat trying to pass as a gazelle.

“Good morning,” Gloria said, looking up from her paper. “Did you enjoy your day off?”

“Yes. How are you feeling?”

“Like an old woman with a broken hip. It aches a little this morning, but I’ll survive.”

“I was hoping for life on a higher plane. Just surviving isn’t fun.”

Gloria smiled. “You think you can perky your way out of me noticing the changes, but you’re wrong. Now stand in the middle of the room and turn slowly.”

“You don’t pay me to model.”

“I pay you to cater to my whims. Now go on.”

Feeling foolish and a little self-conscious, Lori did as instructed. She stood in the center of the room and turned in a slow circle.

Gloria studied her, then nodded slowly. “Better,” she said. “Much better. You saw Ramon?”

“Yes. He did the cut and showed me how to use some fairly sticky products on my hair.”

“The clothes are nice, as well. You finally look like a woman instead of a blob.”

Lori chuckled. “Blob, huh?”

“If I had to see that brown sweater one more time, I was going back to the skilled nursing facility.”

“I doubt that.”

“Your sister help you with your clothes?”

Lori thought about saying she was more than capable on her own, but they both knew it wasn’t true. “Yes. She picked everything out. It’s kind of embarrassing that I don’t know what looks good on me.”

“You do now.” Gloria leaned forward. “But we have to do something about those glasses.”

“I can’t wear contacts and don’t start on me about the Lasik surgery. I’m not interested in getting my corneas burned off, okay?”

“It’s not like they burn off the whole thing, but fine. You look lovely. Reid will be very impressed.”

Lori froze. Technically she’d had sex with Reid under Gloria’s roof, but it had never occurred to her that her patient knew about it. She couldn’t. That would be too humiliating for words. They had to be talking about something else. Reid in general. Or the fact that Lori had a crush on him, which no one was supposed to know either.

“I didn’t do this for Reid,” Lori mumbled.

“Of course not, dear. I just want you to be careful. I care about you and I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

Lori appreciated the gesture. She knew Gloria spoke from a place of caring and concern. But what really got her was the assumption that Reid would do the hurting. That there was no way she could ever be the one to leave or wound him.

Yes, it was realistic, but just once she would like to be the one with the power instead of the one left begging.

“I’ll get your coffee,” Lori said, and walked out of the room.

She entered the kitchen and was startled to find Reid already there. He looked up, started to speak, then stopped and stared at her.

“What?” she demanded. “Is there a problem?”

“No. Hi. I’m glad to see you. I missed you yesterday.”

“I get a day off.”

She knew she was being a bitch and the real reason had nothing to do with him.

“No one’s saying you don’t.” He moved close and kissed her. “I like your hair.”

“I got it cut.” She felt stupid and self-conscious.

“You weren’t sure you wanted to before. It looks good.” He smiled. “In fact, you’re gorgeous.”

“Now,” she said, unable to keep the hurt out of her voice. “You forgot to say now. But, hey, it’s great to be out of the ugly camp and in with you beautiful people.”

“What’s wrong? Why are you mad at me?”

She wasn’t. She was mad at herself, but he was easier to yell at.

“I’m pathetic,” she announced. “Horribly pathetic and I hate it. Why can’t you have a crush on me? Why can’t you be worried I won’t be interested anymore?”

“What makes you think I’m not?”

She grabbed the coffee pot and poured, then glared at him. “Oh, please. Get real. I had a makeover. I’m actually wearing makeup and a thong. And I’ve done it all for you. To what end? What’s my point? This is crazy and it’s all your fault.”

“My fault? What? How?”

She heard him sputtering as she left, but didn’t turn around. Talk about a mistake, she thought grimly. Who was she fooling? She didn’t fit in. She never would. Trying was a mistake. Better to be safe and not risk the pain.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

VALERIE’S GARDEN WAS a restored old Victorian on an acre lot. To the right was the parking lot, but the rest of the house was surrounded by a wild and beautiful garden. Even in winter there were lush plants and hedges, trees and pathways that called to Dani. She wanted to wander the stone walkways and discover all the secrets of the beautiful space.

Instead she walked through the front door and into the open dining area.

She was greeted by a young woman in khaki pants and a white long-sleeved shirt covered by an apron edged in embroidered flowers.

“We’re closed for lunch,” she said with a smile, “but I can probably persuade the chef to whip up something to go. How does that sound?”

Dani appreciated the effort and made a note of the server’s name. “Thanks, Bethany. I’m Dani Buchanan. I have a two-thirty appointment with Valerie.”

“Oh, right. She’s waiting for you. Her office is right this way.”

Bethany took her to the back of the house, then up a narrow flight of stairs. Valerie’s office had once been a bedroom. The wallpaper was floral and mostly purple. Valerie herself was a fifty-something woman who had long graying blond hair pulled up on top of her head and wore flowing, romantic clothes.

“Dani Buchanan, Val,” Bethany said.

“Wonderful.” Valerie stood and stepped around her painted desk. “Dani, I’m so happy to meet you. I’ve been looking for a manager forever. It’s so difficult to find the right blend of philosophy and talent, but based on everything Penny told me about you, I have a wonderful feeling about this interview.”

“Me, too,” Dani said, shaking the other woman’s hand and making a mental note to call her sister-in-law and thank her for the plug.

“Good, good. All right. Let’s start with talking, then I’ll show you around and we’ll finish up with a mini-tasting. I told Martina, our head chef, to dazzle you.”

“I look forward to it.” Dani sat in a white wicker chair that was surprisingly comfortable.

“She’s brilliant. Beyond brilliant. Are you a vegan?”

Dani hesitated, then shook her head. “I’m sorry, I’m not. The job description said that wasn’t a problem.”

“It isn’t,” Valerie assured her. “The only issue we’ll have is a familiarity with the various dishes. While you’d have that anywhere, it’s more important here. Our serious vegans want to know exactly what they’re getting, while those who are experimenting often want ideas for home cooking.”

“Learning the menu isn’t a problem.”

“Good. We’re fanatical about fresh here. I have seasonal vendors who provide most of our produce. They’re amazing.”

Dani thought about Penny’s insistence that everything be as fresh as possible.

“The right ingredients make all the difference,” she said.

Valerie smiled. “I like you already. Come on. I’ll show you around.”

They toured the supply areas upstairs, then moved downstairs and met the few members of the serving staff who were still hanging around, having a late lunch together and talking. She saw the wine cellar, the two main dining rooms along with three small rooms that could be used for private parties.

The kitchen took up the rear of the house. It was light, bright and filled with delicious smells. Martina was a tiny woman with a big smile.

“I know Penny,” she said by way of greeting. “She says good things about you.”

She and Dani shook hands, then Martina introduced her staff.

“Most kitchens are difficult, stressful places,” Martina said. “I try to be different. We all want to please our guests. I prefer harmony. Of course I’m more than willing to knock a few heads together if necessary.”

Dani really liked the restaurant. She liked the staff and Valerie and Martina. She liked the location, the ambience and how no one seemed terrorized.

“Go on and sit,” Martina said. “I’ll have Gerald bring out the first course. I did up a little tasting menu for the two of you.”

“Wonderful,” Valerie said. “Thanks, hon.”

Valerie led the way to a small table by the window. In winter the view of the garden was impressive. Dani could only imagine what it would be like in summer.

“I hope things work out with you,” Valerie said as they took a seat. “But even if they do, I’m tempted to pretend to interview a couple more people just to have Martina keep making her tasting menu. It’s delicious. The best of what she does. We’re starting with a vegetable quesadilla with a few spicy surprises and a leek soup you’ll die for.”

Gerald, a good-looking guy in his early twenties, appeared with a tray and a pitcher of iced tea.

“House blend,” Valerie said as he poured.

He then served small cups of soup and set a plate of steaming tortilla wedges between them.

Dani sipped the tea, then stared at her glass. She wasn’t a huge tea drinker, but she certainly enjoyed a glass of it from time to time. But this one tasted odd. Like it had been steeped in celery juice or cucumber water. It wasn’t a great combination.

She then tasted a spoonful of the soup. Leeks were fairly innocuous, so she wasn’t expecting much. Certainly not the sharp tang of licorice.

“Anise?” she asked after she’d forced herself to swallow the unpleasant liquid.

“Fennel mostly. A few other herbs that bring out the distinctive flavor. The stock is a cauliflower base we make up fresh every day. Guests beg us for the recipe or to at least sell the stock to them, but Martina keeps it all a secret.”

Dani nodded and smiled, but on the inside, she felt the first hint of worry. She loved Valerie and her restaurant. It had never occurred to her that she could find the exact place she wanted to work and be unable to eat the food.

Things would get better, she told herself. They had to.

But they didn’t. The vegetable quesadilla was more awful than the soup, which turned out to be the highlight of the meal.

Part of working in a restaurant at the manager level was the need to be enthused about everything served. Not only would Dani be eating it herself every day she worked, she would also have to talk about it with guests and make recommendations. How could she do that if she couldn’t even choke down one meal?

“Isn’t this incredible?” Valerie asked as she scooped up a forkful of a lentil casserole with an unfortunate spice combination that tasted and smelled like bad tuna.

“Martina is innovative,” Dani said.

This was so unfair, she thought bitterly. The restaurant was her dream job. Why couldn’t Valerie have a passion for steaks or Thai food or anything else? Something she, Dani, could enjoy, or at least tolerate. And how could she tell Valerie the truth?

She was saved from having to come up with a polite version of “yuck” when Valerie got an urgent call from her root vegetable vendor. She promised to be in touch with Dani shortly.

As Dani walked to her car, she glanced back at the beautiful old house. If Valerie called with an offer, she would have to figure out a polite way to tell her no. Then she would have to keep looking.

Her dream job was out there…it had to be. She would keep looking until she found it, no matter how long that took.

LORI HOVERED by the stairs for most of the afternoon, wanting to see Reid, but in a casual way. The most sensible plan was to simply go up to his rooms, knock on the door and talk to him. It was the mature thing to do. The problem was, she wasn’t feeling especially mature these days.

She’d been lurking for so long that she was startled when he finally appeared and she didn’t know what to say.

She stood at the foot of the stairs for his whole journey down and still couldn’t come up with a way to say what she needed to.

“I was scared,” she said at last, which without an explanation probably didn’t make much sense.

Reid stood in front of her and waited.

“I don’t want to do this,” she continued. “I don’t want to try. I don’t want to risk the pain.”

“Are you breaking up with me?”

She tried to read his expression and couldn’t. What was he thinking? Did they have enough of a relationship for there to be a breakup?”

“It’s too hard,” she admitted. “I’d done all this stuff and sure, some of it was me, but it was mostly for you and what if you didn’t notice or didn’t care? What if I’m yet another in a long line of one-night stands? Does any of this matter to you? Am I getting involved with someone who has no plans to be involved with me? I’ve never gone out with a guy like you. I don’t know the rules. I’ve been warned to protect myself from you and while I appreciate the information I want to know why no one is warning you. Maybe I’ll break your heart.”

“Maybe you will,” he said.

“I’m not saying I want to,” she clarified.

“Yes, you do.”

Did he really think that? “No. I just want to be equals in this. I want to be more than a supplicant at the altar of Reid.”

“I have an altar?”

“You know what I mean.” She shrugged. “That was all.” She turned to leave.

He grabbed her arm and held her in place. Then he moved close, put his hands on her waist and drew her against him.

“Why do you doubt yourself?” he asked. “You look great. You looked great before. If you’re happy with what you did, then I’m happy. You don’t have to change to get me interested.” He smiled, but continued to stare into her eyes. “I think I’ve already proved that. Several times over.”

She appreciated the reassurance and refused to let herself point out that there hadn’t been a repeat performance of that single, amazing night. She stepped back.

“I’m not looking for a one-night stand,” he continued. “As for you hurting me, of course it could happen, Lori. I have as much on the line as you do. You’re right—we’re not equals. You have the advantage.”

“Oh, please.” Who was he kidding?

“You don’t trust me,” he said. “Why?”

“Because…Because you’re Reid Buchanan and I don’t know how to be in a relationship. Because I’m afraid. Because this is hard.”

“So you run?”

“It seems a good plan.”

“Maybe you could find another one.”

She stared at him, not sure what to say. Did she want to stay? Not because he asked or because Madeline said it was a good idea, but for herself?

“I’m not running,” he said. “You think that doesn’t terrify me?”

“You’re trapped here.”

He touched her face. “You’re wrong. There are a thousand places I could be. I’m here. With you.”

She liked how that sounded. In the past, she’d always avoided making the effort. Maybe it was time to change that.

“I’ll stay,” she whispered.

“I’m glad.”

DR. GRAYSON WAS a friendly woman who listened as Lori told her sad tale of being unable to wear contacts.

“How long has it been since you tried?” the doctor asked. “The new soft lenses are mostly water and many of my patients don’t feel them at all.”

“It’s been about five years,” Lori said. “Maybe longer.”

“Do you want to try a pair now?”

Lori really didn’t but somehow her makeover seemed incomplete. Besides, as spineless as it made her, her recent encounter with Reid had inspired her to go to the next level, or at least talk about it.

Dr. Grayson pulled out a plastic container of contacts. “You’re a perfect candidate for Lasik,” she said. “If that interests you.”

Lori was too caught up in watching the doctor put liquid onto a seemingly innocent piece of flexible plastic to do more than murmur, “I’m not wild about the idea.”

She swallowed hard, then tried to relax as the contact got closer and closer to her eye. When it was nearly touching, she flinched.

Dr. Grayson chuckled. “This goes better if you leave your eye open. Do you want to try putting it in yourself?”

“Not even for money.”

“Okay. Deep breath. Here we go.”

The contact slipped onto her eye. Lori could instantly see better out of that one eye, which was kind of nice. Maybe this wasn’t so bad. Maybe she’d overreacted to the whole contact lenses issue. Then she blinked.

It was like having a boulder in her eye. Pain shot through to the back of head and tears poured down her cheek.

“Get it out, get it out,” she said quickly.

“Okay. Look up. Keep your eye open.”

Then it was gone. Dr. Grayson handed her a tissue. “So maybe contacts aren’t for you.”

“Maybe not.”

“There are a lot of great styles in glasses.”

Lori blinked several times to clear the tears, then looked down at her glasses. Maybe it was time to admit defeat.

Five minutes later she walked out into the waiting room. Madeline stood up.

“You’re not wearing contacts.”

“I’m not a good candidate.”

“Oh. Okay. Now what?”

Lori pulled the appointment card out of her back pocket and tried not to hyperventilate.

“Now I get my corneas burned off by a stupid laser.”

A TRUTH OF BASEBALL IS that the pitcher is going to get hit by a few balls. Either throws that go wild or an unexpected low hit that flies right down the middle. Reid had taken his share of knocks and he remembered how each one hurt like hell. The ones that hit him in the gut had pushed the air out of his lungs.

He felt like that now—as if he’d been sucker punched. He wondered if he would ever catch his breath again. Sure he’d done the right thing, but damn.

He walked into the kitchen and saw Lori making Gloria’s lunch. She turned, smiled, then put down the knife she’d been using and hurried over to him.

“What’s wrong? Do you feel okay? Are you sick?”

“I’m good.”

“You look awful.” She touched his forehead. “You don’t have a temperature, but you’re a little pale.”

“I’m fine. Just getting used to the fact that I gave away one hundred and twenty-five million dollars.”

Her eyes widened. “You did what?”

“Gave it away. I’m starting a foundation. Its mission is to help get kids involved with sports. We’ll give away equipment, build play fields, send kids to camp, that sort of thing. At least that’s what we’re working out right now. The details.”

Lori touched his arm. “Impressive. That’s a lot of money.”

“I’m just getting that.”

She smiled. “So are you poor now? Do you have to get a job?”

“I’m trying to do the right thing, but I’m not crazy. I have money left. Besides, I have a job. I’ve quit the sports bar and now I’ll be working at the foundation.”

“Running it?”

“No. I’m hiring experts for that. I’m going to be the front man. I was talking to Cal about it. I want to do something. Those letters…” He shook his head. “They haunt me.”

She squeezed his arm. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“It was my picture and fake signature that got sent to those kids. When I think of how disappointed they must have been…” He didn’t want to think about it, but he couldn’t seem to stop.

“I don’t want it to happen again,” he said firmly. “I’m going to make sure I get it right. I’m a celebrity of sorts. I can use that. I’ll go out there and meet people. I’ll get other donations, bring focus to important causes. Who knows—maybe I can even make a difference.”

Even saying the words felt uncomfortable. While he’d tried to be a decent guy, he’d really only ever cared about himself and his family. Taking on the world’s troubles seemed daunting. So he would start small. One problem at a time.

“You’ll be great,” she said. “Maybe this was your destiny all along. Maybe you were supposed to end up here, doing this kind of work.”

He wasn’t a big believer in destiny, but maybe she was right. But if all this was his destiny, what did that make her?

He stared into Lori’s eyes, liking the way the colors swirled together. She was so beautiful, he thought. Beautiful and bossy and sexy as hell.

He dropped his gaze to her mouth and thought about kissing her. Kissing Lori was a great way to spend a day. Of course there was the issue of Gloria, and Lori being in the middle of preparing lunch, but…

He stared more intently. Something was different. Something was…

“You’re not wearing your glasses,” he said.

She nodded, her mouth pulling into a slight smile. “I know.”

“Contacts?”

“We’re not compatible.”

“Then?”

“Lasik surgery.”

He winced. “I thought you were never going to do that.”

“I changed my mind. It wasn’t bad at all. They gave me a tranquilizer and I let them burn away. The whole thing took about fifteen minutes. There isn’t any downtime at all. Madeline even watched.”

He grimaced. “Eye surgery? No, thanks. When did you have this done?”

“Yesterday.”

“And you’re okay?”

“I’m great. I can see perfectly.” Her smile broadened. “It’s kind of a miracle. And no more glasses.”

He sensed he was on dangerous territory. If he said or did the wrong thing, he could really piss her off.

“I’m glad you’re happy,” he said carefully. “You looked great before and you look great now.”

“You’re so politically correct.”

“I don’t want you to beat me.”

She laughed. “When have I ever beaten you?”

“You were very disapproving when we first met.”

“I thought you were useless.”

“Plus you were wildly attracted to me and you hated that.”

He’d been teasing and expected her to deny his statement. Instead she looked away. “I need to finish Gloria’s lunch.”

“Lori?”

She shrugged. “It was stupid, but, yes, I did kind of have a crush on you. I hated that I did. Men like you never notice women like me.”

“All evidence to the contrary,” he said. He wanted to jump up and down and yell that Lori liked him, but he had a reputation for being cool, so he didn’t.

“If you hadn’t had to hang out here, nothing would have happened,” she said.

“My loss.”

She looked at him, her eyes wide. So many emotions raced across her face, he couldn’t read any one of them.

“I don’t know how to deal with you,” she admitted.

“Why do I have to be dealt with?”

She sighed. “I don’t know what’s going on. We’re not dating. We’re friends, I guess. It’s confusing. I’m confused.”

“Me, too.” He kissed her.

He liked her. He liked being with her. He wanted to keep being with her. But if she was asking him to define what they had, he was the wrong guy.

“I have something to ask you,” he said. “Something important.”

“Okay.”

“I want you to think it through before you answer.”

“You’re making me nervous.”

“No reason to be. Will you be on the board of directors for my foundation?”

She looked as stunned as if he’d just transformed into a cartoon character.

“What? I don’t know anything about being on a board. I don’t know anything about sports or charity work. Reid, you don’t have to do this. Seriously.”

“It’s not about experience,” he said. “You don’t have to worry about that. The other members of the board are pros at this sort of thing. But I want you on the board as well. You won’t let me get away with any crap. I trust you to kick my ass when I need it. You’re the most down-to-earth person I know. You’ll keep me and the foundation grounded. It’s only a few hours a month. You’ll get paid for your time, but it’s not big bucks.”

Lori couldn’t believe what he was saying. Reid actually wanted her to serve on an advisory board for a new foundation funded by a hundred and twenty-five million dollars? Her?

“That’s kind of a long-term commitment,” she said. “If things don’t go well between us, you’d be stuck with me.”

“I’m good with that. No matter how much I pissed you off personally, you’d never mess with the foundation.”

She wouldn’t, of course, but she appreciated that he knew it, too.

Making a difference had a lot of appeal. Who wouldn’t enjoy being in that position? It was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, compliments of a man she’d once thought of as having the emotional depth of a cookie sheet.

She walked into his embrace and hung on tight.

“I was wrong about you,” she murmured, burying her face in his shoulder. “You’re much more than a pretty face.”

“I’m overwhelmed by your flattery.”

She chuckled, then raised her head and looked at him. “You didn’t have to do any of this. You could have lived off your millions and not given a damn about anyone.”

“I’m still going to live off my millions.”

“You’re a good guy. Don’t hide that. We need good guys in the world.”

In truth, she hadn’t expected him to be one of them. But now that he was, it made him even more irresistible.

She felt her heart give a little zip. As if it had just opened up to Reid. As if she could now let him inside. The thought of caring more was terrifying, but how was she supposed to stop herself? He was better than she could ever have imagined.

He kissed her lightly. “You’d better feed my grandmother. She’s skinny and needs to eat.”

“You’re right.” But he didn’t let her go. Instead he kept his arms around her.

“What are you doing later?” he asked. “After work?”

Anticipation exploded inside of her. “I don’t know. What did you have in mind?”

“My place.” He jerked his head toward the ceiling. “Say four o’clock. I’ll be the good-looking guy waiting for you.”

She would be the quivering female, but there was no reason to actually say that.

“Sounds like fun,” she whispered instead and stepped back.

Reid looked at the clock. “That’s a long time from now.”

“Four whole hours.”

“You still wearing a thong?”

There was something in his voice. Something low and throaty that made her thighs twitch.

“Uh-huh.”

He groaned. “Ask my grandmother if you can leave work early.”

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

LORI WAS BOTH excited and nervous as she climbed the stairs. She was pretty sure she knew what Reid had in mind—the concept if not the details. While she was thrilled at the thought of being with him again, she wondered how this time would be different from the last. Before she’d been totally swept away by the moment. Now she was not only aware of what they were going to do, but she had her own growing feelings to contend with.

Making love now would probably send her into a female frenzy of bonding. Did she want to take the chance of connecting more? Did she have a choice?

She reached Reid’s room before she’d decided. The door stood partially open and she stepped inside.

She was met by soft, seductive music, lit candles everywhere and the man of her dreams walking toward her. As he took her in his arms and kissed her, she knew the answer to the question was no, she didn’t have the strength or the will to walk away from him. She was going to play this to the end. If she got hurt, she would deal with the pain.

“I didn’t think you’d ever get here,” he said as he kissed his way down the side of her neck.

She wore a long-sleeved shirt. He unfastened the first couple of buttons, then pushed the fabric off her shoulder so he could kiss her there.

“I have chocolate wine and chocolate-dipped strawberries,” he murmured against her skin. “Prepare to be seduced.”

“Chocolate wine?”

“You’ll love it,” he said. “Trust me.”

Her mind and her body fought for her attention. On the one hand, it was impressive that the original Mr. “I take a woman who is willing and does the asking” had put himself out there. On the other, the warm brush of his lips made her not really care about anything else.

He straightened and pulled her into his arms. They began to sway to the music, a sexy, sultry Norah Jones song that had a beat built in desire.

Reid kept one hand on the small of her back and slipped the other through her hair, then he kissed her.

His mouth was warm and demanding. She parted for him. He slipped inside, his tongue brushing hers in a way designed to excite her. His body was hard and unyielding, already aroused. The feel of his erection against her belly sent heat and need spiraling through her.

He wanted her. He wanted her. Impossibility battled with reality and reality won. She threw both arms around him and abandoned herself to the moment.

She kissed him with all she had, meeting him stroke for stroke, then closing her lips around his tongue and sucking. He stiffened, his arousal pulsed, then he nipped her bottom lip and pulled back.

“How about the chocolate wine?” he asked.

She opened her eyes. “Not necessary.”

“But I have the whole seduction planned. Especially the chocolate part.”

Which was sweet. He’d obviously gone to a lot of trouble. She appreciated the gesture. “Seriously, later, I’ll be all over that chocolate wine. But not right now.”

She stepped back and toed off her shoes. After pulling off her socks, she dropped her jeans, then tossed them onto the sofa. She moved up against him, took his hands in hers and put them on her butt…the very butt left bare by the thong she was wearing.

His breath caught. He squeezed her curves, then eased one hand around to her hip. He pushed the scrap of silk down her legs and she stepped out of it. Then he slipped his fingers between her thighs and began to touch her with an expertise that took her breath away.

He found her center and began to tease it, moving slowly around the heart of her desire, but not quite touching it. He did that again and again, until she was close to begging. She stood, her legs parted, her hands on his shoulders, needing him to keep her balanced and at the same time wanting him to rock her world. Just when she was about to give in and shove his hand into place, he slipped a single finger inside of her and pressed his thumb exactly where she needed him most.

Sensations rippled through her. Tension rose as muscles tensed and her breathing increased. He knew exactly how to do that, how to circle and rub and excite. It was as if he had been hard-wired into her brain and could feel what she was feeling.

With each second he touched her, she moved closer to her orgasm. There was no ebb and flow, no reaching and hoping. It was just a steep, slick, wet, downhill slide to paradise. She dug her fingers into his shoulders and prayed her trembling legs continued to support her. She supposed she could have suggested they move things to the sofa, but she didn’t want to break the mood of the moment. Not when she was already so close.

“Look at me,” he whispered.

Startled, she did as he requested, opening her eyes and staring into his.

Fire lurked there. Bright, hot need that excited her more.

“I like doing this,” he said, his voice low and heavy with his own need. “I like touching you, arousing you. I like how wet you are and how I can feel you shaking. I like everything about your body. The softness of your skin, the way you start to contract even before you’re totally over the edge. I want you, Lori. I want you bad.”

His erotic words quickened her breathing. She started to close her eyes, but then forced them to stay open.

“Come for me.”

It was more of a request than a command, but it was enough. She crashed over the edge, her body convulsing in perfect pleasure. He kept his thumb on her even as he mimicked the act of love and thrust two fingers inside of her, in and out. Contractions shuddered through her and she groaned out her surrender.

She had barely come back to reality when he leaned in and kissed her. She kissed him back and savored the feel of his body against hers. This was only the beginning, she thought happily as he unfastened the last few buttons on her shirt, unhooked her bra and tossed both on the floor. Then his hands were on her breasts.

He cupped her curves before touching the very tip of her tight nipples. After a couple of seconds, he broke the kiss and bent his head so he could take her right breast in his mouth.

He sucked deeply, pulling at her skin while his fingers caressed her other breast. The connection between her sensitive breasts and her still throbbing center strengthened. She felt each stroke, each lick, each circle of his tongue deep inside. Despite the extraordinary orgasm of a minute or two ago, she found herself getting aroused.

Suddenly she wanted him naked. She wanted their bodies pressed together, joining and staying that way until they were both exhausted. She tugged at his sweater.

“Get your clothes off,” she insisted. “Now.”

“I like it when you’re bossy,” he said with a grin, then obliged her request. His feet were already bare so all that was required was for him to pull off his sweater, jeans and briefs. Then she could see all of him.

He had a perfect body, she thought as she walked around him, touching whatever interested her most. His shoulder, his back, the curve of his butt.

She did what he had done that first time they’d made love. She snuggled up behind him, pressing her body against his and began to touch him everywhere.

He was too tall for her to see over him, so she closed her eyes and imagined what he looked like. She explored his chest, paying particular attention to his nipples. She stroked them, then squeezed them. He groaned softly. At the same time she trailed kisses across his back, punctuating them with little, soft nips.

She moved her fingers lower, down his flat belly, then out to his narrow hips. She brushed across his muscled thighs, before taking him in both hands.

He was hard—that always unexpected male combination of impossibly rigid flesh encased in the softest of skin. She explored his length, then circled the head, running her fingers along the sensitive underside before returning to the base and dipping her fingers to explore his testicles.

She wanted him as much as she’d ever wanted anyone. Okay, if she was going to be honest, she wanted him more. She wanted him inside of her, taking her, claiming her.

There it was—her secret truth. She wanted to be claimed by this man. Nothing between them but naked flesh and desire. And hearts, she thought, emotions welling up inside of her. She wanted him to care with a desperation that took his breath away.

The longing, deeper and more powerful than any she’d ever known, threatened her arousal. So she pushed it away to be dealt with another time. She dropped her hands, moved around to stand in front of him and kissed him.

He responded like a starving man. He kissed her hard and hot, touching her everywhere. He also began nudging her backward, toward the bedroom.

His hands were on her breasts, between her legs. Frantic, urging and she soon found herself just as eager. Then she was on the bed. There was a second’s delay as he slipped on a condom, then he was inside of her, filling her, taking her with an intensity that gave her no choice except to give herself to him and enjoy the ride.

“DISASTER,” Dani said as she sank into the chair opposite Gary’s at The Daily Grind. “It was a total disaster. I loved everything about the place. Valerie was great, her staff was charming and happy. Martina, the chef, is someone I would love to work with.”

“So how was it a disaster?”

Dani glanced around, wanting to make sure no one from Valerie’s Garden happened to be lurking in the area, then spoke in a low voice.

“The food was hideous. Seriously awful. I hated everything. Even the iced tea. Apparently I don’t have an upscale vegan palate. If only they’d given me a regular cheese quesadilla, I would have signed up in a heartbeat. Or if it had been nearly any other kind of food. Even if I’d only sort of liked it, I probably would have tried to make the job work, but I’m telling you. What they served bordered on nasty.”

Gary chuckled. “They probably won’t want you in their ads.”

“Probably not. I’m seriously bummed. Why did it have to be like this? I feel like Goldilocks. So far, nothing is exactly right.”

Gary reached across the tiny table and patted the back of her hand. “You’ll find something. I know you will.”

“I hope so,” she grumbled, even as she tried to figure out what she felt about him touching her.

“I’ll keep looking,” she said. “I’m determined to further my career. I’m getting calls, so that’s good. I just have to be patient.”

“That’s the attitude,” he said. “Did you talk to the private investigator?”

“Yes. Thanks for giving me her name. She’s great and we got along, but she said without some more information, she can’t help me.”

Dani wasn’t surprised. She knew absolutely nothing about her father except for the fact that at one time he’d existed.

“I haven’t got a clue about him,” Dani said. “No name, no address, not even a description. I’ve asked my oldest brother Cal if he remembers anything but he doesn’t. He was pretty young and I’m sure my mother was careful to keep him away from the man she was having an affair with.”

Gary pulled back his hand and took a sip of his coffee. “What about papers from your mother? Letters? Notes? A date book?”

All good ideas, she thought. “I don’t know of anything like that. I’ll ask my brothers, but I don’t hold out too much hope. There’s only one person who might know something and getting her to talk would take a miracle.”

“They happen.”

“Not in my world.”

Gloria? Help her? Her brothers swore the old woman had changed, but was it enough? Gloria had made it clear she loathed Dani.

“I don’t want to give her the pleasure of going to her and asking,” Dani said flatly. “She doesn’t deserve it.”

“What do you deserve?” he asked. “If there’s a chance of getting what you want, isn’t that worth an awkward conversation?”

She smiled. “Oh, sure. Be rational.”

“I’m a math teacher. What did you expect?”

She sighed. “I know you’re right. I just can’t stand the thought of going begging, which means you’re going to say then I obviously don’t care enough about finding my father.”

She drank more of her coffee. “Maybe I’ll talk to Reid. He’s living in Gloria’s house and spending the most time with her. If he says she’s really willing to help, then I’ll ask.”

“Now you have a plan.”

She looked at him. “You think I should go face the dragon.”

“Our fears get bigger than they should be if we don’t see them in the light of day.”

“That would be the theology teacher speaking,” she said.

“Maybe, and a little of the man.”

“We never talk about your life very much,” she said, realizing she didn’t know that much about him. “You’re very good at asking questions.”

“I’m very interested in your life,” he told her. “My days are often similar.”

“And I’m living in the middle of a soap opera. I’m thrilled to know I can at least entertain my friends.”

“We appreciate it,” he said lightly, then leaned toward her. “Dani, would you like to go to dinner with me sometime?”

He was asking her out. She’d wondered if he would and how she would feel about the invitation. But now that it was here, there was no sense of panic or the need to avoid taking things to the next level. Gary was a great guy. She really liked him. He was kind and honest. The total lack of physical chemistry might be a good thing. She’d been burned by passion enough lately.

“I would love to go to dinner with you,” she said.

REID WAS FEELING LIKE pretty hot shit. It was sunny and relatively warm, he’d decided what to do with his life and last night he’d seduced the hell out of Lori. He hadn’t taken what was offered, he hadn’t gone along with what was easy. He’d planned the evening, reduced her to a puddle and then he’d made her scream.

He liked knowing he could do that to her. He also liked that there was no pretending. He could read her body nearly as easily as he read his own and he knew exactly how to please her. Being with her made him feel good. He found himself wanting things he hadn’t thought about in a long time.

The realization should have scared the crap out of him. Instead he found himself thinking about the future. Playing a serious round or two of “what if.”

What if he didn’t walk away from Lori? What if things developed between them? What if she fell in love with him?

He knew she liked him. Not just the crush she’d admitted to, but real liking. She wouldn’t have slept with him otherwise. He wanted to take credit for her physical transformation, but he knew it had very little to do with him. She’d used him as the excuse, but in truth she’d wanted to make a change for a long time. Lori wasn’t comfortable hiding anymore. It had just taken a while for her outsides to figure that out.

But could she fall in love with him? Was she willing to take that ultimate risk? He knew that on the surface he was a great catch. Healthy, good-looking and rich. But what about on the inside? He’d never committed to a woman in his life. He’d only offered once. As Lori had pointed out, he’d then used that moment as an excuse to stop trying.

That wouldn’t be enough for Lori. She had high standards and he wondered if he could measure up.

He poured more coffee from the pot on the credenza, then turned back to the stack of letters on his desk. He’d pulled out the ones that bothered him the most and had gone over them again. He had to be able to do something for these kids.

One caught his eye. The one from the boy whose twin brother had died. Reid had grown up close to Walker and Cal. His brothers, along with Dani, had meant everything to him. If something had happened to one of them…

He picked up the phone and dialed the number on the letter. A woman answered.

“Mrs. Baker?”

“Yes.”

“Good morning. My name is Reid Buchanan. I used to play baseball.”

“What? Oh. Really? I know who you are. My son is a huge baseball fan. The sport and the players are his world. Even more so since…well, recently. He hated to see you retire. He talked about it for days.”

If the kid knew Reid had screwed up his career himself, he would think a lot less of him.

“Mrs. Baker, your son wrote me about your loss. I’m terribly sorry.”

There was a moment of silence followed by a strangled, “Thank you. It’s been difficult.”

“I can imagine. I was thinking about what I could do for Justin. To take his mind off of things for a little while. I have some friends on the Seattle Mariners and I’ve been talking to their general manager. How would you and Justin like to spend a long weekend with the team at spring training? You’d be flown down first-class, put up in a nice hotel. You’d have a car and a driver at your disposal, along with money for meals. The hotel has a spa. You’d have free use of the facilities. I’d make sure there was someone to keep an eye on Justin while you were relaxing.”

He heard her breath catch. “I don’t know what to say,” she admitted. “Why would you do this?”

“Because I can. You and Justin have already been through too much.”

“You’re being incredibly generous,” she said quietly. “I don’t know what to think.”

“I would very much like you to let me do this for you. If you need a little time to think it over, then let me give you my phone number. You can call me back.”

She gave a little laugh. “Mr. Buchanan, I might have trouble getting through the day, but I’m not totally crazy. Justin would love this and honestly, so would I. Of course we’ll go. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. I’m going to have a travel agent call you in a couple of hours. She’ll make all the arrangements. But I want you to take my personal number as well. If you have any trouble, anything at all, you call me.”

“This is amazing. Thank you.”

“Just take your boy and have a good time.”

“We will.”

They hung up. Reid leaned back in his chair and stared down at the list of arrangements that had to be made. While the travel agent he’d spoken with had promised to stay on top of things, he knew he would be calling around and checking himself. He didn’t want another repeat of the no return tickets disaster.

He pulled out a pad of paper and added to the ongoing list. If the foundation wasn’t going to have an in-house travel agent, then he wanted to make sure there was someone who would follow up on the arrangements made. There weren’t going to be any more screw-ups on his watch.

LORI ARRIVED HOME shortly before five and saw a familiar car in the driveway. She pulled into the garage, closed the door behind her and walked into the kitchen. She could hear Madeline and her mother laughing in the living room and her stomach clenched.

She didn’t mind that her sister invited people over—this was Madeline’s house, too—but why did it have to be their mother? No matter how the evening went, Lori always ended up feeling like the odd one out.

“Hi, I’m home,” she called as she walked into the kitchen and set her purse on the counter.

“We’re in the living room,” Madeline called. “Come join us.”

Lori stood in the kitchen and wished for an excuse to escape to the quiet of her room. If only Reid had wanted to seduce her tonight. But he hadn’t been around when her shift had ended and she hadn’t been comfortable calling him on his cell to find out his plans. They might be physically involved, but she didn’t know or understand the parameters of their relationship. She had a feeling that answers were only a conversation away. But she was afraid to ask.

Talk about dumb, she told herself. She should be willing to ask what he was thinking and explain her own needs and desires. She prided herself on being a take-charge person, and she was. Everywhere but with Reid and her mother.

Evie walked into the kitchen and smiled at her. “Hi, Lori. Did you have a good day?”

“Yes, thanks. Gloria is doing better and better. I’d been concerned about how she would heal, but she’s moving forward all the time. She should be back to her regular life in a couple of months.”

“That’s good.”

Her mother linked arms with her and dragged her into the living room, then forced her onto the sofa and settled next to her.

“Your sister and I have a confession,” Evie said, then looked at Madeline and they both burst out laughing.

Lori glanced between them, not getting the joke. “What happened?”

Madeline waved her hand in the air. “It’s not a bad thing,” she said, barely able to speak between gasps of laughter. “Unless you’re the chicken.”

That set them off again. Lori tried to be patient, even though she felt a powerful need to scream. What was so damn funny?

“We were supposed to have chicken for dinner,” Evie said as she wiped at her eyes. “I came over to help Madeline get things started. We were seasoning the chicken. It was wet and slippery and it went flying across the room.”

She started to laugh again and couldn’t stop. Lori could see how an unruly chicken could be humorous, but this was a little extreme.

“Okay,” she said slowly. “And?”

Madeline pressed a hand to her chest. “I picked it up and when we were washing it off, it got away from us again. That chicken was determined not to go in the oven.”

“It’s true,” her mother said. “We dropped it twice more, but we finally got it seasoned and in the pan. We put it in the oven and came in here to recover. Then about five minutes before you got home we realized—” She erupted in laughter.

Madeline joined in, then gasped. “We forgot to turn on the oven.”

This set them off again. Lori tried to figure out the humor of forgetting to turn on the oven. Apparently it was one of those moments that had to be experienced in real time.

“The thing is,” her mother told her. “You would never have forgotten. That’s what I was telling Madeline when you came home. You were always the solid one, Lori. Not flaky like your sister and me.”

Lori held back an automatic protest that her sister wasn’t flaky.

Her mother’s laughter faded. “Oh, Lori, you were such a good little girl. I could depend on you to take care of things. In my sober moments, I used to think that wasn’t a good thing. Not that I blamed you. You’re the only reason we all survived. But with you around, I didn’t have to worry about what was happening at home. It was all taken care of.”

Lori didn’t know what to say to that. Her recollections were similar but she’d never thought of them in the context of holding the family together. She’d done what needed to be done because her mother was always drunk and Madeline was busy with her life.

“I remember Lori nagging me to eat,” Madeline said. “Or at least eat better than I was.”

“She did the same with me,” Evie added. “I can see that sweet little girl, standing in the kitchen, holding a big pot and yelling that we were all going to sit down and eat together, even if she had to physically make us.”

Lori felt a rush of memories, most of them bad. She pushed them away, as she always did, but her mother kept talking about how much Lori had done.

“I would have been lost without you,” Evie said. “Have I told you that? It’s true.”

Lori felt incredibly uncomfortable. She and her mother didn’t get along. Bonding wasn’t allowed. “I didn’t do that much.”

“Of course you did. Part of recovery is acknowledging what the alcohol did to your family. In your case, Lori, my drinking forced you to grow up too soon. You became the mom. I never wanted that.”

Lori squirmed in her seat. “It’s fine,” she murmured, wishing they could talk about something else. She didn’t want to hear any of this.

“It’s not fine,” her mother said. “I wish things had been different.” She frowned. “Where are your glasses? Did you get contacts?”

“She had Lasik surgery,” Madeline said, sounding smug. “Isn’t she beautiful?”

“She’ll never be as pretty as you,” her mother said.

The comment made Madeline grimace, but helped put Lori’s world back in perspective.

“Eye surgery?” Evie asked. “I didn’t think you’d want to do something like that.”

“I can’t wear contacts,” Lori said. “I tried and there’s just no way. Now I don’t have to worry about glasses.”

“Is there a man?” her mother asked bluntly. “Women always do stupid things for a man.”

Lori distinctly remembered wishing for a change in topic. Now that it was here, she was having second thoughts.

“I didn’t do it for a man,” Lori said firmly. “I like being able to see without glasses.”

Her mother looked unimpressed.

Lori hated sounding like she’d changed herself for Reid. He’d been the catalyst but not the reason. “Okay, fine. I am kind of seeing someone. It’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing,” Madeline said. “It’s fabulous and so is he. Remember Reid Buchanan? He’s that hunky baseball player who blew out his shoulder last year and had to retire.”

“I don’t remember that,” Evie told her. “But wasn’t there a mean article about him in the paper recently? Something about him not being…” Her mother’s voice trailed off.

Lori didn’t know what to say. This was a true definition of damned if you do and damned if you don’t. “It wasn’t true,” she said at last. “Not any of it.”

“I see.”

Evie and Madeline exchanged a look. Lori didn’t want to know what either of them were thinking.

“He’s great,” Madeline said. “He adores Lori.”

“I’m glad.” Evie smiled. “It’s time you found someone.”

Lori supposed life was never all one way and neither were people. Evie was trying. Failing, but trying.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

LORI SCOOPED some orange chicken onto her plate. “This is really good,” she said. “Where’s the takeout place?”

“A couple of streets down. I’ll show you. It doesn’t look like much on the outside, but the food is great.”

She and Reid sat on the floor, backs against the sofa in his living room in Gloria’s house. The coffee table was covered with open takeout containers. Reid had provided dinner and a chilled bottle of Chardonnay. While Lori was confident they would move into the bedroom later, it felt good just to hang out. More normal, maybe.

“It was strange last night with my mother,” she said, returning to their previous topic of conversation. “I know she’s trying to reach out and I’m beginning to believe she feels badly for what happened all those years she was drinking. I know forgiving her is the right thing to do.”

Reid looked at her. “You will when you’re ready.”

“Maybe.”

Sometimes she wanted to forgive all and get close to her mother and sometimes she was so angry, she wanted the other woman punished forever.

She still remembered being ten years old and breaking her mother’s favorite glass. It had been tall and slender, perfect for mixing drinks without too much ice getting in the way of the alcohol.

Lori had been washing the dishes and the glass had slipped, breaking into dozens of sharp shards. Her mother had been drunk and angry. When Lori had confessed, Evie had started screaming.

“You’re useless,” she’d yelled. “I’m sorry you were born. You’re nothing but an accident. An accident I didn’t want. I have one perfect daughter—why would I want a horrible girl like you?”

The pain still cut as easily as those pieces of the broken glass.

“I know when Madeline’s gone, she’ll be the only family I have left. That should mean something. I keep thinking if I tried harder, I could get over everything.”

“No one is saying you have to,” he told her.

“I know, but I feel guilty for not accepting her changes and moving on. It’s weird. We were talking about the past. I realized we all remember different situations or the same incident, but in a different way. I guess that’s about perspective. I saw what mattered to me, Madeline saw what mattered to her.”

“Maybe everyone has a piece of the truth,” he said. “You can remember the parts you want to remember and let the rest go.”

“I wish I could.”

He put down his fork. “I want to go public with Madeline’s illness. I want to get the story out there so people think about donating. You said she was a rare blood type. I’ve been doing the research and the odds of finding a donor for her aren’t great. I think we can change that.”

Lori didn’t understand. “Go public as in…”

“Talk to the press. Hold interviews. Talk about the importance of donating. Do you know that here, in the States, you have to opt in to a donation program. That the assumption is you’re not interested in donating unless you say otherwise. But in Europe, it’s the opposite. The assumption is people want to donate. If you aren’t interested, you have to opt out. That makes a whole lot more sense to me. I’ve been talking to some donation centers. They’re willing to help coordinate the process with me. With us.” He paused and glanced at her. “Did I get too ahead of myself? Are you pissed?”

Pissed? She leaned over and kissed him. Her eyes burned and she figured the tears weren’t all that far behind.

“You’d do that for my sister? You did the research and now you’re willing to go out there and face the world?”

She wanted to say he couldn’t. That he would be slaughtered in the press. But Madeline’s life was too important. Still, she had to make sure he understood what he was getting into.

“There’s still that article,” she said. “You know any interviewer is going to bring it up.”

Reid shrugged. “The people who matter know the truth about me.”

“Meaning me and four hundred other women,” she teased.

He didn’t smile back. “Meaning you. I’d want to talk to my family. This is going to mean they could be in the spotlight, too.”

He touched her face. “It’s going to be embarrassing and uncomfortable the first couple of times, but then we’ll talk about Madeline and how organ donations save lives. The message will get out. What do I care if a few people make cracks at my expense?”

He was making sense in the best way possible. “I can’t believe you’ve already done research.”

“I’m an impressive kind of guy.”

“Yes, you are.” She leaned in and kissed him again. “More than impressive. You’re spectacular. If you ever need a letter of recommendation, let me know.”

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her onto his lap. “I just might take you up on that,” he said, before he kissed her back.

REID PARKED in his usual spot, then walked in through the front of the Downtown Sports Bar. A couple of the guys called out to him, he heard a few cracks and kept on moving. Cal, Walker and Dani were already there, in their usual table in the corner. He greeted them.

“I know I’m not late,” he said as he made a fist and banged knuckles with both Cal and Walker, then hugged his baby sister.

“We got here early so we could talk about you,” Dani said with a grin.

“Great. What did you decide?”

“That you might just turn out okay.” She sat back down and pushed his beer toward him. “Actually, we all beat you by about two minutes.”

He tugged on a lock of his sister’s short hair. “I haven’t seen you in a while. What’s going on?”

“Still working for Penny while I look for something else. She’s hoping I’ll change my mind about leaving, but I can’t. I need to get going on something of my own.”

“Where have you been looking?”

“All over the city. There are some interesting places out there.”

“Like where?” Cal asked.

“Valerie’s Garden. Fabulous restaurant, great staff, incredibly strange vegan food. Not for me.”

Reid had never much been into tofu, either.

“You doing okay otherwise?” he asked.

She nodded. “I’m doing fine. Moving on with my life.” She touched his arm. “Don’t worry.”

“We all worry,” Walker said. “It’s part of the job description.”

“Well, I do need help with one thing,” Dani said, looking at Reid. “I want to find out about my father. I have nothing to go on, which means I need to talk to Gloria. What are the odds that her transformation is genuine and that she’ll help me?”

Reid looked at Cal and Walker. They both shrugged.

“She’s changed,” Reid said. “She’s trying.”

“For you guys,” Dani grumbled. “You’re family.”

“She was great to Penny and the baby,” Cal offered. “It’s not like she loved the idea of Penny being pregnant with another guy’s kid but she was friendly. Almost charming. Honestly? It kind of freaked me out.”

“She was good to Elissa and even asked her to bring Zoe on her next visit,” Walker said.

“I’m tempted to talk to her,” Dani said. “But not quite tempted enough.”

“Want me to say something?” Reid asked.

Dani shook her head. “No. This is my dragon. I have to make peace with it or slay it myself. Metaphorically, of course. I’m not advocating killing Gloria…yet.”

“No one thinks you are,” Cal told her. “We’re here for you. You know that, right?”

“I do.” She smiled. “So that’s me. What’s up with you, Reid? You’ve been lying low these past couple of months.”

“With good reason. I do have a couple of things I need to talk to you about.” He glanced at Walker. “You got my letter of resignation, right?”

Dani glanced between the two of them, then glared at Reid. “You’re quitting your job here? Just like that? Did you know?” she asked Cal.

Cal shifted in his seat. “He might have mentioned it.”

Dani grabbed a chip from the pile of nachos and chomped down furiously. She swallowed. “Dammit, I’m always the last to know. I swear, the next time I get a great secret, I’m not telling any of you.”

“It wasn’t a secret,” Reid said. “I’ve been thinking about leaving for a while. I’m not good at running this place, probably because I’m not interested. There are some good managers here.”

“I know,” Walker said calmly. “Don’t sweat it. They’ll pick up the slack until I get someone else in here.” He looked at Dani. “Are you interested?”

“In working here? No, thanks.”

“You’d be in charge. I’d like to keep it in the family. And don’t say you’re not family because you are.”

Dani glanced around. “Not my thing. I want a real restaurant. Not liquor and finger food. But I appreciate the offer.”

“I’ll find somebody else, then,” Walker said. “Let me know if you change your mind.”

“I will, but don’t expect anything.” She turned back to Reid. “What else do you want to spring on me?”

“I have something, but this time no one else knows.”

“Cool.”

His brothers looked at him. “What is it?” Cal asked.

“It’s a bitch not knowing everything, isn’t it?” Dani asked.

Walker glanced at Reid. “Was she always this annoying?”

“Pretty much.”

Dani bounced in her seat. “Come on. Enough suspense. Spill.”

Reid hadn’t figured out exactly how to tell them what he was going to do.

“One of Gloria’s nurses is the main reason for her change of heart,” he began. “Lori has been great with her. Patient but not a pushover. When Gloria gets her back up, Lori won’t take any crap. She’s—”

Dani punched him in the arm. “You’re dating her. Cal and Walker are nodding knowingly, which means they’ve probably met her. You’re dating this woman and you didn’t tell me?”

“It just happened. We’re not really dating.” He hesitated. “We’re involved. I like her, okay? Can I get back to the important part now?”

“You like her?” Dani sounded surprised. “As in ‘hey, I really like this girl. Let’s see where the relationship goes’?”

“Yes. Do you have a problem with that?”

“No.” She looked at Walker and Cal. “You guys should say something.”

“You’re doing fine messing up on your own,” Walker told her.

“I’m not messing up. I’m just happy to find out Reid has a girl.”

Reid ignored that. “Her sister, Madeline, is sick. She has Hepatitis C and needs a liver transplant. Because of her blood type, she’ll be difficult to match. I’ve talked to Lori and a couple of donor places. I want to go public and talk about the need for people to donate. That means accepting some of those interview offers I’ve been getting over the past few weeks. That means having my name in the press, which will impact the three of you. You’re family and people will talk.”

“You’re the one they’re going to try to annihilate,” Walker said. “There won’t be anything they won’t ask.”

Reid thought about the article in the paper—the one claiming he was lousy in bed. “They’re going to take it as far as the censors will let them.”

“Are you prepared for that?” Dani asked. “It will be humiliating.”

He knew that. He would probably become the butt of a lot of late night comedy jokes.

“This isn’t about me,” he said. “If something doesn’t change, Madeline will die. I don’t know any other way to help.”

Cal nodded. “Then you do what you have to do. We’re fine with it.”

Reid looked at each of them. “Are you sure?”

“Of course we’re sure,” Dani said. “When compared with what Lori and her sister are going through, none of the rest of this matters. We’ll be fine.”

“We can handle it,” Walker said.

Reid had known they were going to say that, but he was still gratified to hear the words. “Then I’ll e-mail you and let you know when I’m on Access Hollywood.”

LORI HAD NEVER BEEN inside a television studio before. Reid’s Access Hollywood interview was being held at a Seattle station.

The set was used for a local morning show. Lori didn’t expect it to be so small, or so isolated in a sea of backdrops, lights, cables and cameras.

She and Madeline stood several feet behind the equipment and watched as a woman dabbed Reid’s face with a sponge.

“I’m nervous,” Lori admitted. “Nothing about this is going to be easy. They’re going to ask some awful questions. I know he says he’s prepared, but I’m not so sure.”

“You think he’s going to punch anyone?” Madeline asked.

“No, but I hate to see him humiliated.”

“Imagine how I feel,” Madeline muttered. “He’s putting himself in the spotlight because I have a sick liver. I’m not even sleeping with him. That hardly seems fair.”

“The sex stays in the family,” Lori teased as she took her sister’s hand. “That’s what matters.”

“But you’re the only one having a good time.”

“I’m not going to share,” Lori told her with a grin. “Just so we’re clear on that.”

“It doesn’t matter if you’re willing or not. Reid is only interested in you. I can see it every time he looks at you.”

Lori’s insides got all warm. She desperately wanted Madeline’s words to be true, but wishing wasn’t going to make that happen. Still, a woman could dream.

The reporter, an incredibly beautiful blonde in a tailored suit that emphasized her curves, walked over to Reid and introduced herself. Lori couldn’t hear them, but as she watched they shook hands, then the woman leaned over and kissed Reid on the cheek before indicating where he should take a seat.

A man walked over and adjusted the microphone clipped to the front of Reid’s shirt, then someone yelled for quiet. Lori and Madeline both put on the headphones they’d been given so they could hear the interview.

“I’m here with Reid Buchanan, a bad-boy baseball player who’s been in the news these past few weeks. He’s here to talk about something important. Thanks for being with us today, Reid.”

“My pleasure.”

The woman smiled at him. “I know you have some interesting things going on in your life, but first you know what we have to talk about.”

Lori’s gaze locked onto Reid’s face. Nothing about his expression changed, but she sensed him bracing himself for the assault.

“That last game against the Cubs?” he asked.

“Not exactly. There was a rather insulting article about you in the Seattle paper a few weeks ago. Apparently you and the reporter had a night together and when it was over, she was not a happy camper. Care to comment on that?”

“Are you really asking me a question?” Reid smiled his charming smile—the one that made Lori’s toes curl.

“I’m going to be tough and demand an answer.”

“She didn’t have as good a time as either of us would have liked,” he said with a shrug. “I can give you a lot of excuses, but I won’t.”

The reporter looked disappointed. “That’s all? Don’t you want to defend your reputation? Several women you’ve been with have come forward to complain about your…performance, shall we say.”

“They didn’t complain to me.”

“Women seldom do. Is what they say about the fragile male ego true? Do you think your bed partners resisted saying anything because they didn’t want to hurt your feelings?”

“If that was the reason, they’ve gotten over it now.” He shifted in his seat. “I love women. Always have. Despite popular opinion, the biggest rush for a guy is pleasing the woman he’s with.” He held up his hand. “For most guys. Certainly for me. If that didn’t happen, I’m sorry. It’s always my intent.”

“A lot of people, women especially, believe that celebrities aren’t very good in bed because they don’t have to be. Do you think that’s part of your problem?”

Lori groaned. She actually took a step forward, then stopped. Reid didn’t need her breaking into his interview so she could tell the world that he was an amazing lover.

“I hate this woman,” Lori muttered to her sister.

“I’m not real fond of her myself.”

“I don’t know what happened with the reporter who started all this,” Reid said. “She never talked to me about anything. She came on to me in a bar. For all I know, the whole thing was a setup. It’s been uncomfortable. This isn’t anything any guy wants to deal with. As you know, I’ve been avoiding the press.”

“I’m aware of that,” the reporter purred. “Of all the reporters around, you chose me.” She put her hand on Reid’s arm. “Are you trying to tell me something?”

Reid looked directly at the camera. “Yes, I am. I’m putting up with these questions because they don’t matter to me. Say what you want—I don’t care. What’s a hell of a lot more important than what anyone thinks about my love life is the fact that every day people are dying when they don’t need to be.”

The woman sighed, as if aware the juicy portion of the interview was over. “You’re talking about those waiting for an organ donation.”

“Right. In other countries, organ donation is the norm.”

He went on with his pitch, but Lori wasn’t listening. She pulled off her headphones and turned to her sister.

“He did it. He got through. I can’t believe it. He was great. You saw that. Right?”

“He was a god,” Madeline said, then sighed. “Seriously, he was terrific. I’m really grateful.”

Lori hugged her. “Me, too. I still can’t believe he was willing to go through that for you.”

Madeline smiled at her. “No, Lori. He didn’t do it for me. Don’t you get it? He did it for you.”

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

“BERNARDO IS A GOOD MAN,” Mama Giuseppe said as she ladled more pasta sauce onto Dani’s plate. “His father started the restaurant nearly fifty years ago. We were so young then, with foolish dreams.”

The tiny woman, dressed all in black glanced around the gleaming restaurant kitchen. “Maybe not so foolish.” She looked back at Dani’s plate. “Eat. Eat!”

Dani cheerfully tasted another forkful of the perfect pasta. The sauce was delicious enough to make her wonder how rude it would be to lick the plate when she was finished. But as she hadn’t technically started her interview, she’d probably better remember her table manners.

She’d arrived at three and had immediately been ushered into the kitchen. The prep chefs were hard at work, yelling and insulting each other in Italian. At least she assumed it was Italian. But judging from their expressions and the laughter, she had a good idea what they were saying. Some things about the back of a restaurant were all the same.

Although she’d met Bernardo, the owner of Bella Roma, he’d been called away to take a phone call, leaving Dani alone with his mother. As Mama Giuseppe had been offering incredible food, Dani wasn’t complaining.

“I’ve asked around,” Mama said. “I know you are a Buchanan, like the restaurants. Your grandmother, she’s not a nice woman.”

Dani wasn’t sure what to say to that. “Gloria can be a challenge,” she admitted.

Mama sniffed. “Is that what we call it? Still, you didn’t pick her for family. What can you do? I have four boys. Four. God was good to us. And of the four, only Bernardo wants to go in the family business. One is enough, right? So now my grandchildren are growing up. This one wants to be a lawyer, that one a doctor. Nicholas wants to do hair.” She shook her head. “A man who wants to do hair. But he’s family, so I love him. The restaurant? Not so much. Alicia, she loved working here, but now she’s moving to New York to get married. What? We can’t have a wedding in Seattle?”

Mama sighed. “What can you do?” She looked at Dani. “You’re not married?”

“Ah, no. I was. My husband and I…He, ah—”

Mama Giuseppe nodded. “I understand. Some men are good men. Some, not so good. My Bernardo, he’s a good man. His wife died.” She paused, considering. “You’re a little young for him. Too bad.”

Dani nearly choked on her pasta. Bernie, as he’d asked her to call him, had to be close to fifty.

Just then the man in question hurried into the room.

“Sorry about that,” he told Dani. “My daughter’s getting married in a month. We’re averaging about one crisis every four hours. Has my mother been torturing you?”

Dani glanced at her empty plate. “Not at all. She’s been keeping me well fed. I love everything here.”

“A girl who eats,” Mama said. “Good.”

Bernie sighed. “I’m going to take Dani to my office, Mama. We’re going to talk business. You’ll want to leave us alone for a while.”

“I’m an old woman. What do I know about business? I wouldn’t want to get in the way of something important. Did I start this place with your father? Did I work all hours of the day while raising four children?”

“Ignore her,” Bernie murmured as they left the kitchen and headed down a rear hall. “She can be dramatic.”

“I adore her,” Dani said and meant it.

“If you’re not careful, she’ll run your life.”

Dani figured she wasn’t doing such a great job of it herself, so maybe someone being in charge would be good.

They sat in Bernie’s crowded office. He looked at the stack of papers and files lying on his desk and groaned. “I’ve got to get this organized,” he said. “I never have the time. That’s why we’re hiring a manager. My daughter, Alicia, was working here, but she’s moved to New York to be with her fiancé. I was hoping one of the other kids or one of my cousins would be interested, but they’re not. They love to eat here, of course, but the work? Not so much.”

He sounded a lot like his mother, Dani thought, holding in a grin. She was impressed the two of them could work together day after day and not kill each other.

“We’re a close staff,” he said. “Most of my servers have worked here for years. Over half the clients are regulars. You know what that means?”

Dani knew he wasn’t just making conversation. The interview had officially begun.

“Regulars are a steady cash flow, so you want to keep them happy,” she said easily. “They like what they like. Some resist change. They have higher expectations. They want to be remembered and treated as special because they’re giving something money can’t buy—loyalty.”

“Exactly.” He sounded pleased. “For a while our customers were mostly older family and retirees. Aging. Then the neighborhood began to change. Suddenly we’re hip. Or in. I can’t keep up with the right term. Which means I’m neither, right?”

Dani smiled at him. He was terrific. For a second she wanted to agree with Mama Giuseppe—it’s too bad that Bernie wasn’t closer to her age.

“So now we’re getting a younger crowd. I thought they’d clash with our regulars, but they don’t. It’s nice to see newlyweds and college kids around.”

He passed her a menu. “We’re traditional here. Mama sees to that. Our head chef answers to her. Nick has been here ten years and when he and Mama start screaming at each other, it’s better to duck and run.” He chuckled. “Lucky for you, they argue in Italian, so you’ll miss most of it.”

He flipped through a couple of papers. “What else? No real staff problems right now, but they come up. The older servers can resent new staff, but they work it out. The restaurant runs fairly smoothly, but there are always hassles.”

He paused and Dani sensed he was waiting for her to elaborate on what the hassles could be.

“Late deliveries, missing linens, a batch of bad wine, an off dish that everyone starts sending back,” she said. “The party of twenty that booked the private room changes their mind about the menu a half hour before they show up. That sort of thing?”

Bernie nodded. “Right. Good. Okay, then let’s talk about your experience.”

Over the next hour, she was grilled on everything from her college education to handling the temporary head chef while Penny had been on maternity leave.

When she’d finished, Bernie leaned back in his chair. “We want someone to start right away,” he said. “Are you available?”

Dani nodded. “I’ve given my notice at The Waterfront. I can leave anytime.”

“You’re clear on the fact that my mother is a big part of the restaurant? She’s going to get involved and tell you what to do. She’ll swear she won’t, but don’t believe her for a second.”

“I like your mother,” Dani admitted with a grin. “We’ll work well together.”

“Then the job is yours, if you want it.” He named an impressive salary. “You’ll get a cut of the profits. I’d like you to start out during the day. It’s not so crazy then and you can feel your way. Once you’re up to speed, we’ll split shifts, so neither of us is always working nights.”

Dani stared at him. “You’re offering me the job? Just like that?”

“Just like that. I go with my gut. You’ll do well here, Dani. So what do you think?”

LORI TRIED TO FOCUS on the fact that Reid had asked her out to dinner—like a date. Because worrying about a date was far less scary than thinking about meeting the board that would direct Reid’s new foundation.

Nothing was official. The lawyers were still drawing up papers, but everyone was getting together to discuss direction, purpose, a mission statement.

Lori had gone online the previous evening to figure out what a mission statement was. She’d looked at other charities to find out what they were trying to do with their money. In a way it was good she was so scared about the board meeting because it distracted her from what her sister had said a couple of days ago, when they’d watched Reid taping his interview. That he’d put himself in the public eye and had endured humiliation for her. She couldn’t seem to get her mind around that.

While it didn’t rank as high as Kyle Reese’s “I crossed time for you, Sarah Connor” in the first Terminator movie, it was damn close. A guy like Reid having to defend his sexual performance on national television was way worse than any punishment she could come up with—and yet he’d done it willingly. It had even been his idea.

Had he really done it for her? Because he cared about her? The possibility made her chest tighten and her eyes burn. She was afraid to believe, because if she believed, she would have to admit she’d fallen in love with him.

They parked in the lot of the Doubletree Hotel in Bellevue and walked into the foyer. Reid took her hand in his and led the way to the conference room he’d rented for the meeting.

“I’m nervous,” she admitted.

“Then we can be nervous together.”

She looked at him. “Why are you worried? You’re doing an incredible thing.”

“I’m some dumb jock who’s been front page gossip. I picked a hell of a board. Why will important people with expertise in what I want to do take me seriously?”

“Because you have the checkbook.”

“I want to be more than just the name on the building,” he told her. “I’d rather not use my name at all, but I know I’ll be a good front man.” He shrugged.

She put her hand on his chest. “You’re doing the right thing. I swear you are. I’m impressed. Seriously.”

His gaze locked with hers. “That means a lot to me.”

“I’m glad, because it’s true.”

They smiled at each other, then Reid squared his shoulders. “Ready?”

She nodded even though she wasn’t and they walked into the conference room.

Eight people already sat there. Five men and three women. They were all over forty, well-dressed and chatting as if they knew each other.

Lori instantly felt out of place. It wasn’t her clothes—she’d had Madeline help her pick out a conservative but attractive skirt and jacket, and her shoes were new and more expensive than she wanted to admit. It was that these people were some of the richest and most successful in the country and she was a girl who had grown up in a double-wide.

Reid introduced everyone. There were two CEOs, a founding executive from Microsoft, a woman whose family owned banks and other people who professionally gave away millions.

When they were seated, Reid began.

“I appreciate each of you agreeing to serve on my board. I don’t know most of you—my business manager gave me a list of names and I started asking around. You’re the best at what you do and I’m going to need that. I have no experience with philanthropy, but that’s about to change. I want to improve the world, one kid at a time, through sports. That’s my mission statement. It may be as simple as new cleats for football season or as complex as designing and building a stadium after a hurricane. Let the other charities take on diseases, I want us to figure out ways to improve kids’ lives through sports of all kinds.”

“We have a good financial start,” one of the men said.

“I agree.” Reid leaned forward. “I’m hoping we’ll have more. I’ve never been one for endorsement deals, but I’m willing to do them now. All the money I earn for speaking for companies willing to pay will go back into the foundation. I’m going to use my name and my former career to get into places most people can’t. I want to bring attention to where it’s needed. If that means taking a couple of hits from the press, I’m willing to do it.”

He stood. “Each of you brings expertise to the table. For some of you, it’s managing money. Others have a gift for finding out where that money should go. If you’re wondering about Lori’s job.” He nodded at her. “She’s here to keep us grounded. Her professional background is in nursing. She knows how to deal with people going through a rough time. She’ll keep us on track.”

He smiled at her.

It was one of those melt-your-socks kind of smiles that made her pulse rate double. The woman sitting next to her leaned close.

“Okay, now I’m breathing hard and I’m happily married.”

“Tell me about it,” Lori whispered back.

Reid continued to talk about what he wanted them to accomplish. As she listened she wondered if this was a dream. All her life she’d been too afraid to go for the happy ending. This time she wanted it enough to try. Enough to risk her heart and the possible fall that waited just out of reach.

REID PARKED at the edge of the dock. “I know it’s not a restaurant. Is this okay?”

Lori looked around at the lake, the twinkling lights of the houses on the other side, and the tidy row of houseboats at the end of the dock.

“It’s great,” she said. “Are you cooking?”

He grinned. “Not a chance. Food will be delivered later. Come on. I’ve been gone long enough that there shouldn’t be any press lurking around.”

He led the way to the houseboat. As Lori breathed in the damp air and the scent of water and plants, she realized that if the press really had backed off, then Reid didn’t have any reason to stay at Gloria’s house much longer. Which meant she wouldn’t be seeing him as much.

The thought saddened her, so she pushed it away and instead concentrated on the two-story houseboat in front of her.

The structure was dark blue with white trim around the many windows and set away from the neighbors. Planters lined the walkway leading to the front door. Reid unlocked the door, then leaned in and hit a couple of light switches. Lori stepped into a surprisingly open space done in leather and wood.

There was a fireplace and a view of the lights, hardwood floors, warm area rugs and a staircase leading to the second floor.

Beyond the living room was a dining area and a doorway to what looked to be an impressive kitchen. On the other side was a study.

Everything was perfect. Bookshelves lined the angled stairway, taking advantage of unused space. There were trunks in corners, display shelves, welcoming colors and a real sense of home.

“It’s beautiful,” she told him. “Really perfect and amazing. I thought you’d be more the high-rise condo type.”

He shrugged. “I looked at some, but then I saw this place and I bought it the same day. It was old, so we gutted the place and built new.”

“We?” She did her best to hold in a wave of jealousy. “Let me guess. Tall, blond, big boobs and Southern?”

Reid moved toward her and kissed her. “You think you know everything, but you’re wrong. My decorator was a guy and I didn’t sleep with him.”

A guy? She liked that.

“Before you can ask,” he said, touching her face, then easing his fingers into her hair. “I don’t bring women here. This is my place. It’s private. You’re the first.”

If she hadn’t already been in love with him, that single statement probably would have pushed her over the edge. She drew in a breath, not sure what she wanted to say, only to be saved from possibly confessing something she might regret by a knock on the door.

Reid released her and let in a delivery guy. After paying the man, he took the two shopping bags from him and walked into the kitchen.

“Chicken marsala, pasta, a salad and a special decadent cake for dessert,” he told her. “I went with chocolate because I know you go crazy for it.” He grinned. “I’m trying to seduce you. How am I doing so far?”

He was the best-looking man she’d ever seen, but that didn’t seem to matter anymore. While the chemical attraction was still as powerful as ever and probably would be as long as she drew breath, it wasn’t the reason she was here.

She was here because of who he was. He hadn’t seduced her with his body—he’d seduced her with his soul. The man inside, the heart of him, called to her with a song she couldn’t resist.

She crossed to him, took the bags from him and set them on the counter. Then she leaned close and kissed him.

“I don’t need chocolate,” she whispered against his mouth. “Not when I have you.”

“Tonight you get to have both. Pretty close to heaven, huh?”

She smiled. “Closer than you know.”

“I’M GOING TO cut your sandwich into tiny bites and then feed them to you,” Reid said with a grin. “Later, I’ll read to you.”

His grandmother glared at him. “You’ll do no such thing. I might still be recovering from a broken hip, but I’m strong enough to throw things at your head.”

“But can you hit me?” he asked. “I’m not sure about your aim.”

“Where do you think you inherited your pitching ability?” Gloria’s mouth pulled on the corners, as if she were trying not to smile. “You’re in a good mood this morning. Why is that?”

Because, for once, his life was working. Ever since he blew out his shoulder and had to retire from baseball he’d wondered what the hell he was going to do with himself. Baseball had been his world. At last there were possibilities.

“I’m at one with the universe,” he joked. “I have a serene spirit.”

Gloria rolled her eyes. “You’re annoying, but I’m going to put up with it. Starting the foundation was the right decision.”

He didn’t need her approval, but it was good to hear the words. “I think so.”

“I’m not happy about your interviews. You’ve humiliated the entire family.”

No change was perfect, he thought as he pulled up a chair and sat down. “It’s necessary and the price of getting my message out.”

Gloria lay on her bed. She’d been dressing for the past couple of weeks and getting her hair done. Except for the fact that she wore casual clothing instead of power suits, she looked much as she always had. The frail and broken woman from a couple of months ago had disappeared.

“You’re healing,” he said. “That’s good.”

“It was get better or die,” his grandmother said. “Lori pushed me, but she was right to do it.” Her eyes narrowed. “I know you’re seeing her.”

Not a surprise. They hadn’t been subtle or secretive. “Yes, I am.”

“How serious are things?”

“I’m not discussing my personal life with you.”

“Why not? I’m your grandmother.”

He grinned. “I’m actually clear on our relationship. You’ve been my grandmother most of my life.”

She sighed. “You’re tremendously annoying.”

“Charming. You meant to say charming.”

“I did not. I want to talk about Lori.”

“Talk away.”

“I want to know what you’re doing with her.”

He knew she meant in a relationship sense, not a sexual sense, but either way, he wasn’t talking. There were a couple of reasons. Keeping Gloria out of his personal business made a lot of sense. Just as important, he didn’t know how to answer the question.

He knew Lori mattered. She mattered a lot. He didn’t want to think about his feelings or define them, but they were there. Growing. He felt good when he was around her and he missed her when he wasn’t. For now, that was enough.

“Reid,” his grandmother snapped. “I asked you a question.”

“Lori is off-limits.”

“I could say the same thing to you.”

“I know you care about her. So do I.”

“I’m not going to break her heart,” Gloria told him. “You very well may.”

“I won’t,” he said and meant it. “Besides, how do you know she won’t be the one hurting me?”

His grandmother didn’t say anything. Instead she looked out the window, as if she knew something she didn’t want to tell him. Had she and Lori talked? But before he could ask, his grandmother said, “I’ve heard there have been calls about donating. How is that going?”

“Good. No matches yet. Madeline’s blood type isn’t going to make matching easy, but it’s possible. The good news is a guy whose liver was seriously damaged in a car accident in Kansas is getting a new liver. So one life was saved.”

“Does that make it worth it?” she asked. “I’ve seen the interviews. They’re not being easy on you.”

If being publicly humiliated about his sexual performance on national television counted as “not being easy” then she was right.

“It’s worth it,” he told her. “Even if no one’s life was saved, it would still be worth it. People need to donate and I’m reminding them of that.”

His grandmother reached for his hand. He leaned forward and grabbed her fingers.

“I’m proud of you,” she told him.

“Thanks,” he said, and meant it. For reasons he couldn’t begin to explain her words mattered. A lot.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

DANI TOSSED her car keys to the valet and then hurried into the restaurant. She saw Gary waiting by the window and rushed up to him.

“I’m late,” she said by way of greeting. “I’m sorry. It’s only my second day at the restaurant and there’s so much to learn. I lost track of time.”

Gary smiled at her, then stunned her by leaning in and kissing her cheek. “Hi. I’m not mad. You look happy.”

“I am. I love my job. I know it’s early and I’m still in the fun part of work, but I love it. I love the staff, the customers. I adore the food. It’s amazing. I may actually have to start exercising to keep from gaining weight.”

She kept talking—make that babbling—some from excitement, but mostly out of shock. Sure, Gary’s light brush across her cheek was hardly news-worthy, but his caress had been unexpected. Nice, but unexpected.

She resisted the need to put her fingers on the spot his mouth had been as she tried to figure out what she felt. There hadn’t been any kind of zing of excitement, but that was okay, right? Sex wasn’t everything. Gary might not make her thighs go up in flames, but she liked him.

She smiled at him. “I’ve probably wound down for now,” she said. “How are you? How was your day?”

“Fine.” He moved them toward the small desk at the front of the foyer. “We have a reservation.”

She glanced around at the crowded restaurant. It was one of those neighborhood places with great food and plenty of regulars. The food smelled good and Dani liked the mix of clientele. There were families, older couples, several large parties and a group of women laughing in a corner.

“This is nice,” she said. “I’ve never been here.”

“The food is excellent. The menu has a lot of variety and everything is good.”

They followed the hostess to a quiet table in the back.

“How did you find this place?” she asked.

Gary held out her chair, then took the seat opposite hers. “I used to work around here.”

They were in an older part of Seattle. She frowned as she tried to place a college. She couldn’t think of one in the neighborhood. It was mostly residential.

“Where?” she asked. “At a private school?”

He hesitated. “I wasn’t always a teacher.”

“Oh. Okay.”

It was then she remembered she didn’t know very much about her date. She knew he had a sister, that he was kind and a great listener. Embarrassment flooded her body as heat crawled up her cheeks.

“I’m a horrible person,” she said, with a groan. “Totally disgusting and self-absorbed.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Me. My behavior. How many times have we had coffee together? How many of those conversations have been about my life, my problems, my job search? Me, me, me. It’s awful. Why on earth did you want to have dinner with me?”

“Because I like you.”

He must or he wouldn’t have asked. She pushed aside her menu and leaned forward. “I apologize for my lousy behavior and promise that tonight is just about you. I want to know everything. You can skip the being born part—that’s a little too messy for dinner conversation. But feel free to pick up with your first memory after that.”

He smiled. “You have nothing to apologize for. I enjoy talking about you.”

“Guys like to talk about themselves.”

“I’m more comfortable listening. An old habit.”

Which made him practically perfect boyfriend material. He was smart and funny and kind. A really decent person.

“So why aren’t you married?” she asked. “We’ve established you’re not gay.”

He grinned. “But I am thinking of upgrading my wardrobe.”

She laughed. “I’m serious, Gary. Are you keeping secrets?”

She’d asked the question lightly, then stiffened when he didn’t chuckle or tease in return.

“Not secrets so much as information,” he said.

She knew that whatever it was, she was going to hate it. The knowledge formed deep in her gut and sat there like a rock.

“You’re married? You killed a man? You used to be a woman? You have a contagious disease and now I have three weeks to live?”

“No.” His expression was kind. “Nothing like that.”

A woman in her forties walked by the table, paused and backed up a couple of steps. She looked at Gary, her eyes widening in surprise.

“Father Halaran?”

Dani straightened. A thousand thoughts flooded her brain but just one in bright neon letters flashed: Father Halaran? Father Halaran? As in…

Oh, dear God.

Gary nodded at the woman. “Hello, Wendy. It’s just Gary now. Remember?”

“What? Oh, right.” Wendy looked at Dani, then jerked her gaze back to Gary. “How are you? I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“It’s been a couple of years and I’m doing well.”

“I’m glad. It’s, ah, good to see you, Fa…ah, Gary.”

The woman walked away.

Dani blinked several times as her mind slowly cleared. “So,” she said, trying to sound casual when in truth she was in the mood to scream. “That was interesting.”

“I used to be a priest.”

“I kind of figured that out.”

He smiled. “Good. I left two years ago. That’s when I started teaching. I lived a few blocks from here and always liked this restaurant. I probably should have taken you somewhere else.”

Did he really think that was the biggest problem they had? “No. This is lovely. Really.”

“Are you all right?” he asked.

“I don’t know. I’m trying to absorb the whole priest thing.”

“You’re not Catholic,” he said. “It shouldn’t be a big deal.”

“You’d think. But it kind of is.” Although she couldn’t say why.

A priest. As in married to the church. As in celibate. Talk about a springboard to discussion. So had he…been with a woman since? And if he hadn’t, did he want to be? Did she want to deal with that?

“Say something,” he told her. “What are you thinking?”

“No wonder you’re a good listener.”

“Is this going to be a problem?” He picked up the menu, then put it down. “I wanted to tell you, Dani. There just wasn’t a good time. It’s not as if I could introduce myself that way. ‘Hey, I’m Gary. An ex-priest. And you are?’“

She smiled. “That would be kind of scary.”

She looked at him, at the kindness in his eyes, at the smile that had become familiar to her. She liked him. She trusted him. He was a good man.

“Everything about leaving was scary,” he told her. “I’d been on exactly one date in my life before I made my decision to become a priest. I’d never held a job, lived totally alone, been a normal person. I’m still adjusting, but I like it. This is where I’m meant to be. Are you okay with that?”

Was she? She opened her mouth to say she was, but then she couldn’t. The knot in her gut hadn’t gone away.

“I have the most uncomfortable feeling that God is sending me a really big message. He’s telling me I’m not supposed to be with anyone right now,” she said. “For once, I think I’m going to listen. I’m sorry, Gary.”

She grabbed her purse and stood. He rose, but didn’t try to stop her. Disappointment darkened his pale eyes.

“Maybe if you took some time to get used to the idea,” he began.

She shook her head. “I don’t think so. I’d like to stay friends, but I understand if you don’t want to do that. If you expected more.”

“I’d hoped,” he admitted.

Guilt flooded her. She didn’t want to hurt him, but she couldn’t ignore how she felt.

“I’m sorry,” she said and hurried away.

THE DOWNTOWN SPORTS BAR was crowded for a Thursday night—the Seahawks were playing so the place was busy and loud.

Reid stood behind the bar and leaned toward Mandy, one of the waitresses, to hear her drink order.

He hadn’t worked in weeks—not since the article in the paper. His only visits to the bar had been off-hours and low-key. But tonight he was filling in for a guy who’d gotten sick. He was taking a lot of crap from patrons, but he was dealing.

He poured two beers, then grabbed the bottles to make an apple martini. Not his choice for a football game, or anytime, but it wasn’t for him. He poured in the right amounts of the various liquors, dumped the ice from the martini glass, filled it up and set it on Mandy’s tray.

“Hey, Reid,” some guy at the bar yelled.

Reid turned toward the voice, but he couldn’t see who had spoken. They were two and three deep at the bar.

“Is it true you’re really lousy in bed?”

So far all the comments had been joking and friendly. This was the first direct confrontation.

Despite the fact that the Seahawks had the ball and were inches from a first down, the space around the bar went quiet. He wondered if the guy would have the guts to show himself.

The decision was made for the man when several people moved away, leaving a short, balding guy in his late thirties standing alone.

Reid looked at him, gave a slight smile, then asked, “You want to know for yourself?”

There was a moment of silence followed by an explosion of laughter. The guy shifted uncomfortably, muttered “No,” and slunk away.

“Anyone else interested?” Reid asked. “I’m here, I’m working. Take your best shot. I can handle it.”

“That’s not what that woman in the paper said,” another man called.

“Want your wife to give me a recommendation?” Reid asked with a grin. “She will.”

The guy grumbled, but didn’t show himself.

“Anyone else?” Reid asked. “You’ve got to have better lines than the ones I’ve been hearing. Come on. Nail me.”

A woman leaning on the bar smiled at him. “Why aren’t you mad? Guys I know would want that reporter’s blood.”

He took another order from one of the servers, then began to pour more beer.

“I was pissed at first,” he admitted. “Embarrassed, but then I realized it didn’t matter. I was a pitcher for a lot of years. Everybody who watched the game had an opinion about what I did and how I did it. Yet not one of them could come close to doing what I did. I learned there’s always some asshole who can do a hell of a job on play-by-play but can’t last a second in the game. It’s the same with sex.”

The woman grinned and several of the guys around him laughed.

“The thing is,” Reid continued. “As many women as I’ve been with, I had to learn something. Right?”

“I know you did, darlin’,” the woman said with a smile that told him she was one of the many.

Not that he remembered anything about whatever time he’d spent with her.

Well, hell. What did that say about him? He could only imagine the choice words Lori would have for him if she knew there were women who had been in his bed and he didn’t remember anything about them. He couldn’t even pick them out of a line-up.

He continued filling drink orders and talking to the customers. No one else made any cracks about him, but he barely noticed. There was only one opinion that mattered. And the only way to keep her coming back was to make sure he was the kind of man she would want to be with for the rest of her life.

FRIDAY AFTERNOON, Reid got back to Gloria’s place about four-thirty. He took the stairs two at a time. Lori was working until six, and then she was joining him upstairs. He had big plans for the night. He’d ordered a great dinner, then he was going to seduce Lori three or four times, after which they’d have dessert.

As he’d spent a couple of hours in the gym, he wanted a shower before she showed up. He walked into his bedroom just as he pulled off his sweatshirt. So he didn’t see his surprise right away.

“Hi, Reid,” an unfamiliar voice said.

He froze in the act of dropping his sweatshirt, swore silently, then shrugged the shirt back into place. He sucked in a breath, then turned to look at the bed.

Two women lay there. Two blond, pretty, young women. They’d pulled back the covers, fluffed the pillows and stretched out naked on his sheets.

Totally naked.

He barely glanced at their bodies before returning his attention to their faces. He recognized the twins. The three of them had had a weekend together and then the twins had gone on CNN to promote some damn book. They’d also taken a couple of pokes at him.

The one on the right sat up then crawled toward the end of the bed.

“Are you mad at us, baby? We were bad. Very, very bad. Do you want to punish us?”

Her large, perfect breasts hung down, swaying gently with each movement. Her skin was pale, her nipples nearly red.

The one on the left smiled. “You could spank us. Wouldn’t that be fun?”

Several feelings crashed in on him, but the overriding one was complete and total panic. What if Lori walked in on them right now? What would she think? There was no way in hell he could explain these two. He didn’t want to explain them—he wanted them gone.

“Let’s have some fun, Reid,” the first one said, her blond hair falling over her shoulders. She licked her lips. “Really hot, naked fun. You’ll like it. I promise.”

“Me, too,” her sister said.

He couldn’t get out of there fast enough. Not caring if he looked liked an idiot, he turned and ran from the room, then sped along the hall and raced down the stairs. He found Lori in with his grandmother and asked to speak with her.

Lori followed him into the hallway.

“What’s wrong?” she asked. “You have the weirdest look on your face. Are you hurt or sick?”

He didn’t know what to say to her. How could he tell her the truth? She wouldn’t understand. Lori had issues. Some made sense to him and some didn’t but he knew they were there.

He touched her cheek. “You matter to me,” he said. “You know that, right?”

Her eyes narrowed. “What have you done?”

“I haven’t done anything. I swear. It wasn’t me. It’s not my fault.”

“The eternal cry of the irresponsible male.”

“It isn’t. Dammit, Lori, you know me. You know that I’m a decent guy. I would never hurt you.”

She folded her arms across her chest. “Tell me.”

“I want you,” he said, knowing he was getting it all wrong, but not sure what else to say. “You mean a lot to me. More than a lot. I like what we have together and you like it, too. I would never do anything to mess things up.”

She raised her eyebrows. “But?”

He sucked in a breath. “I came home and went upstairs because you’re coming up and I wanted to take a shower. I walked into my bedroom and they were just there. I didn’t let them in. I’ve been gone. You know that, right? I’ve been at the gym. They were just there.”

He paused and waited, braced for the explosion.

“Who was where?”

“These two women. You don’t know them. They’re baseball groupies. Twins. I want them to leave, but I don’t know how to make them. I’m afraid they’ll take anything I say as encouragement.”

He couldn’t read her expression. Something flashed in her eyes, but it was gone before he could identify it.

“They’re upstairs?” she asked.

“In my bed. Naked.”

Her eyes widened. “You have two naked women in your bed?”

He nodded frantically, then grabbed her arm. “You have to help me. I swear, I didn’t contact them. I don’t want them here. I don’t want any of this.”

One corner of her mouth twitched. “Is the big bad baseball player afraid?”

“Terrified.”

“You expect me to go up there and throw them out?”

“That would be great.”

“I’m assuming you’ve slept with them.”

He glanced down and shuffled his feet. “It was a long time ago.”

“Both of them? At the same time?”

He nodded glumly.

“Impressive.”

He looked at her. Okay, maybe he wasn’t the best judge of women, but if he had to guess, he would say Lori wasn’t totally furious with him.

Her mouth twitched again. “What did you want me to say to them?”

“That we’re together. That you don’t stand for this sort of thing. Not ever. You could tell them I’m not interested, if you want. Because I’m not. You’re the only woman I want in my life.”

“All right.”

She turned and walked up the stairs. He followed, not sure how this was going to go, but relieved to have Lori take charge.

She walked through the living room and into his bedroom. The twins were still sprawled naked on his bed.

The one on the right smiled when she saw Lori.

“Hi. We’ve never done a foursome before. This could be fun.”

Lori glanced around the room, then walked over to the neatly folded clothing on the dresser and picked it up.

“Aren’t you two a little old for games like this?” she asked. “Showing up naked in a guy’s bed seems beneath you. You’re attractive women. Do something with your lives. Go to college, have a career. Be more than your bust size.”

The twins looked at each other, then at Lori. “But we like this.”

Lori tossed them their clothes. “Do you? Really? Are you proud of yourselves? Can you tell your grandmother how you spend your day? When you were little, didn’t you want more than this?”

The twin on the left blinked. “I always liked working with animals. I thought I’d work in a vet’s office, you know?”

“Fine. Do that. Do anything. In about ten years your looks are going to go. Then what? You need to think about your future. Open an IRA, start learning about current events. Grow up. In the meantime, get dressed and get out of here. I’m with Reid and he doesn’t cheat on me.”

The twins looked at each other again, then shrugged. “Okay,” the one on the right said.

They got up and dressed.

“We’re sorry about barging in,” the spokestwin said. “We didn’t know Reid was serious about anyone.”

Reid had kept quiet through the conversation, sensing things would go better if Lori was in charge. Now he walked over to her and put his arm around her.

“I’m serious,” he said clearly. “Totally serious. Involved. We’re together.”

The twins smiled. “That’s good. Okay. Well, good luck with everything.”

They collected their purses and left.

He waited until their footsteps had faded, then looked at Lori.

“You saved me.”

“Apparently. I can’t believe you dated those two. They give airheads a bad name.”

He stared into her hazel eyes. “I didn’t date them, Lori. I had sex with them. That’s who I was. A lowlife bastard who accepted every interesting invitation sent my way. I didn’t require anything of them and I sure as hell didn’t require anything of myself.”

It was as honest as he’d ever been in his life.

“I’m not proud of that past. I won’t apologize for it, but I’m done with it. I’m not that guy anymore.”

He braced himself for a crack or worse, her withdrawal. Instead she leaned in and kissed him.

“I know,” she whispered. “You’ve turned into someone quite amazing.”

He liked the sound of that. He put his hands on her waist and pulled her close. “I’ve always been amazing.”

“Okay, maybe. But now it doesn’t have anything to do with getting naked.”

He cupped her rear and squeezed. “It could.”

She laughed softly. “I have to get downstairs to your grandmother, but we’re on for later, right?”

“Oh, yeah.”

She smiled and he smiled and then it was like someone hit him in the chest with a baseball bat. He felt the impact and the air rushed out of him and he couldn’t breathe.

He loved her. Honest to God, he loved her. Everything about her. The way she talked, how her brain worked, the scent of her skin, her sense of humor, her combination of toughness and caring.

She was the best part of his world and she’d made him into a better man. He wanted her and he needed her.

He wanted to be with her always. He wanted to marry her.

“Reid? Are you all right?”

“I’m good.”

He wanted to tell her right that second, then he hesitated. Telling Lori he loved her was a big deal and he wanted to say it right. He wanted the moment to be special and powerful. He didn’t want her thinking he was just grateful for how she’d handled the twins.

Tonight, he thought. When they were alone. He would confess his feelings and propose. Was there time to go buy a ring?

Her cell phone rang. She pulled it out of her pocket and glanced at the screen.

“It’s Madeline,” she said, paling slightly. “She would only bother me at work if there was an emergency.” She pushed the talk button. “Hello?”

Reid waited while she listened. As he watched, the worry faded and elation took its place.

“Are you sure?” she asked. “For real? When? Oh, my God! I’ll be right there. I know. It’s amazing. I love you.”

She hung up and grinned at him. “She got the call. There’s a donor.”

CHAPTER NINETEEN

LORI SAT on Madeline’s bed and counted socks. “We don’t have to worry about you bringing everything,” she said. “I can go get anything you need.”

“I know.” Madeline’s lips turned up in a smile, but her eyes looked worried. “I’ll feel better when I have my suitcase packed.”

Lori suspected her sister’s issues weren’t about the suitcase. “Are you okay?”

“Sure. I’m scared but excited. Did I mention scared?”

“Scared?” Reid asked as he carried in an empty suitcase and put it on Madeline’s bed. “Who’s scared?”

“No one,” Madeline said with a smile. “Just maybe a little chicken.”

“Which beats being a big chicken,” Reid said. “Or a duck.”

Madeline laughed.

Lori stood and pulled her sister close. “This is a great thing. You know that, right? It’s your chance.”

“I know. I’m so grateful to find a match. I wasn’t sure we ever would. I’m such a difficult blood type. But we did and now I have a chance again. That’s all good. Reid, I don’t want you to think I’m not grateful. You put yourself out there for me.”

“I delivered an important message,” he said. “Nothing more.” He patted her arm. “I’ll leave you two to your packing.”

When he was gone Madeline sighed. “He’s a good man. I just wish there’d been more time.”

“What do you mean?” Lori asked.

“I’m not ready to do this.” Madeline held up her hand before Lori could protest. “I know. Without a transplant, I die. I want the surgery. It’s just…”

Lori understood. They were talking about a serious operation. “You have a great doctor. Remember that.”

Madeline stepped back and smiled. “I do. Still, it’s weird to think about someone else’s liver in my body. It sounds so gross.”

“It beats being dead.”

“You always did have a talent for putting things in perspective.” Madeline picked up a nightgown and folded it. “I’m happy, of course. This is a chance for me to live a relatively normal life. But I also can’t get my mind around the fact that someone else has to die to make this happen. I don’t think I’m worthy of that.”

“You didn’t kill the person. Even if you don’t take their liver, they’re still going to die.”

“I know, but…” She shook her head. “I guess I can’t explain it. I just feel weird. Happy and grateful, but weird.”

“You’re not going to change your mind about the surgery, are you?”

Madeline shook her head. “It’s too late. Besides, how many people get a second chance like this? I want the operation. I never thought it would happen and yet it’s here. But it does make me think. If I don’t come back, I want you to be okay with that.”

Not come back? Madeline kept on talking, but Lori wasn’t listening. Not come back?

Madeline had to come back. She, Lori, refused to accept any other outcome. Coming back was very much a part of the plan.

Until that moment, Lori had never thought of her sister dying in any but the most theoretical sense. Surgery could go badly, but that was for other people. Her sister had always been in her life. They were family. They had always been family.

“You can’t die,” she blurted without thinking. “I couldn’t stand it.”

Madeline grabbed her hand, sat on the bed and pulled Lori next to her. “I’m not going to die.”

“But you could. I knew that in time your liver could fail, but not now. It wouldn’t be fair.”

“Life isn’t about fair. Odds are, I’m going to pull through and be around for years, driving you crazy.”

Lori’s eyes filled with tears. “You’re my best friend.”

Her sister’s expression was kind. “I know. You’re mine.”

“I didn’t know,” Lori muttered. “I didn’t know at all. I’ve loved you and hated you and all this time you’ve been my best friend.” She blinked back tears. “I’m sorry.”

Madeline tucked a strand of Lori’s hair behind her ear. “For hating me? Don’t be. If I were you, I would have hated me, too.”

“Because you’re perfect.”

“I’m not perfect.”

“Hey, I was there. I have the pictures to prove it. I love you despite the fact that you’re perfect.”

Madeline laughed. “Thanks for being such a generous person, but you have to let go of the perfect thing. Perfect people don’t get sick.”

“That’s not your fault. You were in that car accident and you got a blood transfusion. That’s out of your control.”

“Fine. My husband left me when I got sick. That doesn’t happen to perfect people.”

Lori rolled her eyes. “Again, not your fault. He’s a jerk.”

“I picked him.”

“Oh. Yeah. Good point. So you have one flaw. Lousy taste in men.”

“It’s a big flaw. Which makes me not perfect.”

Lori hugged her. “You’ll always be perfect to me. I love you. Don’t you dare die.”

“I won’t. I promise. I want to be around long enough to be an embarrassment to you in our old age.”

“I’d like that,” Lori said as she straightened. Everything would be okay, she told herself. It had to be.

“I want to dance at your wedding to Reid,” Madeline added.

Lori sighed. “There’s not going to be a wedding.”

“I thought you were crazy about him.”

“I am, but I have no idea what he’s thinking. I know he likes me but liking and marrying are worlds apart. I don’t even think about it.”

Which was a complete lie. Of course she thought about it. Sometimes it was all she thought about. Being with Reid seemed like an impossible dream. But sometimes she allowed herself the fantasy.

“He’s so much more than I thought,” she admitted. “He’s a terrific man, which wouldn’t have been my first guess.”

“You’re responsible for any changes.”

Lori shook her head. “That sounds nice, but he did what he did himself. I…” She swallowed, then confessed. “I’m in love with him.”

“Have you told him?”

“No. I’m afraid he’ll laugh and point.”

“What are the odds of that actually happening?”

“At this moment any odds are too great. I don’t need the pain in my life.”

Madeline squeezed her hand. “The man is crazy about you.”

“Maybe.” But was it enough?

“He is,” her sister insisted. “Look at it this way—he’s been with enough women to be able to know what he wants. He wants you. I can see it in his eyes.”

Lori wanted to believe her so much, it hurt. “Change of subject,” she said. “I can’t deal with Reid right now.”

“Then let’s deal with Mom,” Madeline said. “You’re going to have to help her through this.”

“I know.” Lori didn’t want to think about that, either.

“She’s not the devil.”

“I never said she was.”

“You have to forgive her for what happened before,” Madeline insisted. “She wasn’t herself.”

Lori wasn’t convinced being drunk excused anything, but she nodded because it was what her sister wanted.

“In case something happens,” her sister continued, “I’ve listed all my bank account numbers and other financial information in a folder. It’s in the top dresser drawer. There’s also a life insurance policy. I got it when I got married, but now you and Mom are the beneficiaries. Help her invest the money, okay? She won’t know what to do.”

Once again Lori fought tears. She gently punched her sister in the arm. “Stop talking like you’re doing to die.”

“I need to say this,” Madeline told her softly. “Help Mom. She’ll have enough to buy a condo or something. It will give her security.”

“She’ll want to buy a trailer. I just know it.”

“Then help her do that. She’s getting older, Lori. She’s not in great health. All those years of drinking aged her. I want her to be safe and happy.”

Lori wiped her eyes. “Fine. I’ll help her get settled somewhere. Either a condo or a trailer. If there’s any left over, I’ll help her invest the money in something safe. I don’t want to talk about this.”

“I know, but I need you to promise.”

“I promise.”

“You’re sure?”

Lori sniffed. “Why not? We both know nothing’s going to happen to you. So I can promise anything.”

“I like how you think.”

“How much money are we talking about with that life insurance policy?” Lori asked, deciding she would tease them both into a happier state of mind. “Should I get excited?”

Madeline grinned. “You’re going to have to wait and see.”

“I’m happy to wait forever.”

DANI FILED the menus, then turned to face her sister-in-law. Penny had already spent a couple of hours in the kitchen, overseeing the prep work for that night’s dinner.

“I love a good reduction,” Penny murmured to herself. “If we add a little more Pinot to the sauce, it should broaden the fruit elements. What do you think?”

Dani pushed the file drawer closed and dropped into the chair on the other side of Penny’s overflowing desk.

“I miss working with you.”

Penny looked up and grimaced. “I hate that you’re gone. I know I shouldn’t say that. I know you have to go prove yourself out in the world. But I don’t have to like it. By the way, you’re only proving yourself to yourself. The rest of us are already convinced. Okay?”

“I don’t like it, either,” Dani admitted. “I mean I’m really excited, but I’ve loved working with you.”

“I am the best chef you’ll ever know,” Penny said, then grinned. “And the most modest.”

“Absolutely.”

“You’ll love working with Bernie. He’s a sweetie. And kind of cute.” Penny raised and lowered her eyebrows. “He’s a little old for you, but if you like that sort of thing…”

Dani raised her hands and crossed her index fingers. “No way. He seems like a perfectly nice man, but, no. I’m totally and completely finished with romantic relationships. I’ve heard from the big guy in the sky and the message couldn’t have been more clear.”

“Just because Gary was an ex-priest does not mean God was telling you to avoid men.”

“Okay—so what was the message?”

“Avoid that one. Or not. Maybe God was trying to tell you that Gary was a sweetie and you should be gentle with him.”

Dani cringed and shook her head. “I don’t think so. I feel bad about walking out on Gary, but trust me, I’m the wrong woman to deal with the issues a relationship with him would bring to the table. I don’t have the patience.”

“I don’t know. There’s a romantic element to the whole thing. What if you’re his first time?”

Dani didn’t want to go there. As soon as Gary had confessed his past, the knot in her gut had told her to start running and she’d listened. It wasn’t her proudest moment, but she didn’t have any regrets.

“It’s over,” she said. “My budding relationship with Gary and any relationship with any man, ever. I have lived through a series of disasters. It’s time to let the romance thing go.”

“If you say so. Or you could get into women.”

Dani wrinkled her nose. “No thanks.”

“Just checking. You don’t have to do that,” Penny added, pointing at the filing.

“I want to finish what I started.”

“You don’t work here anymore. You have to let it go.”

Dani shrugged. “I have. But I still miss this place, even though I’m totally jazzed about the job.”

“If you’re giving up on guys, you’ll have time to devote yourself to your work. Lord knows I did that plenty,” Penny said.

Dani nodded, then reached for a pen sticking out from under a stack of paperwork. “I’ve been thinking about getting in touch with my dad.”

Penny leaned back in her chair. “That’s a big step. Did you find out more about him?”

Dani shook her head. “I don’t even know his name. I talked to a private investigator, but she told me what I’ve already guessed. Without more information, I’m screwed. I need something to go on. I asked my brothers, but they don’t know anything, either.”

“You know what the next step has to be,” Penny said gently.

Dani’s stomach tightened. “I’m not giving Gloria another chance to screw with my life. Once was enough.”

“She’s the only one who knows anything. Just think about it,” Penny said. “She’s changed. I don’t know why or how. Maybe she hit her head when she fell or maybe the day nurse really did work a miracle. I just know she’s not the same awful woman you know.”

“I don’t want to give her the satisfaction of begging. It means she wins.”

“Doesn’t she also win if you spend your whole life wondering?”

Dani didn’t answer—they both already knew Penny was right. But ask Gloria for help?

“I’ll think about it,” she said slowly. “I hate that she still has control over me.”

“She doesn’t. Not if you don’t let her.”

LORI STOOD at the end of the hospital corridor and watched the swinging doors close behind her sister. She sent up a quick prayer that everything would be all right, then walked back to the waiting room where she would spend the day anxious for news.

But as she stepped into the open space, she saw it wasn’t the same airy, empty room it had been an hour before. Now the three sofas and dozen or so chairs were overflowing with people and supplies.

Penny looked up and saw her first. She smiled kindly. “We invaded,” she announced. “I brought plenty to eat because it’s going to be a long day and, hello, hospital food? I don’t think so.” She motioned to several coolers stacked along the wall. “Drinks, salads, entrees, desserts. Sugar seems mandatory at times like these. How are you holding up?”

Lori felt overwhelmed, but managed to nod. “I’m good.”

Reid walked up and hugged her. “Did you tell dirty jokes?” he asked.

“I tried.”

It had been his bizarre and yet oddly charming suggestion to fill the few minutes before Madeline was taken to surgery.

“Tried?” he repeated. “I gave you great material.”

“I know, but she was already pretty out of it. She laughed, though.”

That was the image Lori would hold in her mind. Madeline laughing at the lesbian frog joke.

“So my family is here,” he said unnecessarily.

Lori glanced around. Cal held baby Allison in his arms. Walker and Elissa unpacked bags filled with paper plates and glasses. Zoe, Elissa’s daughter, lined up several stuffed animals as if she was going to hold class.

“You didn’t have to ask them to come,” she said, surprised by their willingness to be a part of a very long day.

“I didn’t ask them. I told them I was going to be here with you and they came on their own.”

Her throat tightened. “You’re really good to me,” she whispered, staring into his dark eyes. “I want you to know that I’m incredibly grateful. You went on television and let those reporters torture you, all so my sister could have a chance. Now she’s getting a new liver and it’s all because of you.”

He stroked her cheek. “Don’t give me too much credit. A donor might have been found regardless.”

“I don’t think so. You’re the best man I know.”

He gazed into her eyes. “Lori, I—”

“Hi, everyone.”

Lori turned and saw a pretty, petite woman walk into the waiting room. She was in her late twenties, with big eyes and a familiar smile.

“My sister, Dani,” Reid told Lori. “Come say hi.”

Dani had already greeted her brothers, Elissa and Penny. She turned to Lori.

“Hi. It’s great to finally meet you,” Dani said. “I’m sorry it has to be like this, with your sister in surgery.”

“Thanks for coming.”

“Not a problem. We Buchanans hang together.” Dani grinned. “Besides, how could I not want to meet the woman who trapped the infamous Reid Buchanan?”

Lori felt herself blush. “I didn’t exactly trap him.”

“I’m not trapped,” Reid grumbled. “I’m here willingly.”

“Uh-huh.” Dani’s expression was knowing. “Call it what you want. You’re off the market and hearts are breaking across this great nation.”

Lori didn’t know what to say to that. Dani excused herself and went to take her niece from Cal. Reid wrapped his arms around Lori.

She let herself relax into his embrace and felt her tension ease away. Funny how being close to him made her feel so safe.

“They don’t have to stay,” she said quietly. “The operation is going to take all day and maybe into the night. No one has to stay.”

“They know,” he whispered in her ear. “I told them they’re free to leave, but I’m guessing they’ll be here for the duration. So you’re stuck with us.”

If this was stuck, she was all for it, she thought. Love welled up inside of her. Love and need and a sense of being very lucky. But this wasn’t the time and these weren’t the right circumstances for her confession. When she knew Madeline had come through she would tell Reid how she felt about him. She would take the step of faith and hope for good news. If he didn’t love her back, she would survive. At least she would know. She was done holding back because she was afraid.

She looked around, then frowned. “Where’s my mom?”

“In the chapel. She wanted to go pray, but she said she’d be back in a while. Penny showed off some of the food. If nothing else, that should entice her to come back.”

Lori didn’t think anything could make her or her mother eat today. Despite the distraction the Buchanan clan offered, part of her mind was focused only on the surgery. How far had they progressed? Had the donor liver arrived yet? And what about the other family—the one living with grief instead of hope? How was she ever to thank them for giving her sister a second chance?

An hour later, Lori’s mother returned to the waiting room. Lori and Reid introduced her to everyone, then Lori took her aside.

“How are you doing, Mom?” she asked, noting the older woman’s dark circles under her eyes and the pain bracketing her mouth.

“Just hanging in there. Everything is in God’s hands now. I’ve prayed until I’ve run out of words. In a few minutes, I’ll go back and pray some more.”

“That’s all we can do,” Lori told her.

Her mother nodded. “I have a good feeling about this. Madeline deserves a second chance.” Tears filled her eyes. She reached for Lori’s hands. “I know I don’t deserve one. I know I hurt you so much, for so long. I’m sorry for that. If you don’t believe anything else about me, believe that.”

Lori’s own eyes blurred as she tried not to cry. “Mom, you don’t have to—”

“Yes, I do. I should have said something a long time ago. I know you’re angry with me, Lori, and who can blame you? I want to blame the alcohol. I want to blame being drunk, but there’s no excuse. I hurt you and you were just a little girl. That’s what breaks my heart. You were a sweet, loving child and I never told you that. I never said that I loved you. But I did. I do. The only person I hated was myself. Can you understand that?”

Lori understood the intent behind the message if not the words themselves. She nodded slowly.

Her mother sighed. “I was not a happy drunk. You know that better than anyone. The things I said…” She shuddered. “If I could go back in time, I would take you in my arms and let you know how important and special I thought you were. I still think that. But I’m afraid you believe this is all because of Madeline. That because I might lose one daughter, I now want a relationship with you.”

Pride and old wounds battled with the need to move on. In the end, connection won. Whatever else existed between them, they were family. She reached out and took her mother’s hand.

“I know you’ve been trying to connect with me for a while now,” she said quietly. “It’s not about Madeline.”

“It’s not,” her mother insisted, fresh tears trickling down her cheeks. “It’s about all of us. You always talk about your sister being perfect. She was never that. None of us are. I love you both, so much. I want us to be a family.”

Lori swallowed. “I want that, too, Mom.”

“Really?”

She nodded.

Her mother brushed away her tears, then glanced around the crowded waiting area. They had a small corner to themselves and the Buchanans talked to each other, as if to give them privacy.

“I like your young man,” her mother said. “Oh, dear. That’s a horribly old expression my grandmother would have used.”

“I know what you mean,” Lori told her with a grin. “And I agree. He’s very special.”

“You should hang on to him.”

“I plan to.”

They hugged. Her mother’s embrace was unfamiliar, but Lori was determined it wouldn’t stay that way. Family was too important for them not to connect. All of them getting along would be a great incentive for Madeline to recover even more quickly.

Elissa inched toward them. “Are you two okay?” she asked. “Can I get you anything? Penny was thinking of serving lunch.” She looked at her watch. “Make that a late breakfast. There’s tons of food. I made pie, which now that I think about it is weird, but Walker loves my pies.” She stopped. “Sorry. I’m babbling. I don’t know what to say.”

Lori hadn’t spent much time with Elissa, but in that second, she found she really liked her a lot.

“You don’t have to say anything. Just you taking the time to be here means a lot. Mom and I appreciate the support.” Lori thought for a second. “You know what? I’d love a slice of pie.”

Her mother stared at her. “It’s barely nine in the morning.”

“I know, and I want pie.”

Her mother smiled. “I guess I do, too. Is there whipped cream?”

Elissa laughed. “I’m sure Penny brought some. She thought of everything.”

“Your daughter is great,” Lori said as Elissa sliced pie. “Really well behaved. At her age I would have been bouncing off the walls.”

“She’s always been easy,” Elissa told Lori. “It helps that she’s hanging out with Walker. She says he’s the handsome prince in our lives.”

Lori saw the little girl cuddled next to the tall former marine. They seemed lost in their own world. Then Walker looked up and smiled at Elissa. Lori felt the residual heat and despite her worry, smiled. Talk about a couple in love.

SOMEHOW WORD GOT OUT that there was a party going on in the waiting room. Several nurses and orderlies joined them. Lori watched Reid’s family embrace her mother, keeping her close, talking to her, distracting her.

Lori rested her head on Reid’s shoulder as she curled up next to him on one of the sofas. The minutes crawled by. She could think about something else for a second or two, but then her mind returned to the operating room as she wondered what was happening. How many more hours until they knew the surgery was a success? How much longer after that until Madeline was out of the woods. If she could—

The doctor walked into the waiting room. He was tall, still dressed in scrubs. There were stains on the front of his shirt.

Lori was on her feet in an instant. An initial burst of joy was followed by confusion. It was too soon. The surgery was supposed to take all day.

And then she knew. She didn’t even have to look into the doctor’s eyes to see the pain there.

The room disappeared into a buzzing blur. There was only the sound of her heartbeat and the doctor’s drawn face.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured, his voice thick with pain and frustration. “It was her heart. A complication we didn’t expect.”

He kept on talking and talking, but Lori didn’t hear anything else. She didn’t have to. Her perfect sister was gone.

CHAPTER TWENTY

LORI DIDN’T REMEMBER anything about leaving the hospital or driving home, but suddenly she found herself standing in the middle of her living room. Reid was next to her, his arm around her waist. He guided her to the sofa and urged her to sit, but she resisted.

She couldn’t think, couldn’t move, could barely breathe. It was as if her life force had drained away. She ached, but the pain was so all-encompassing that she wasn’t even close to tears. It was as if crying were too meager a reaction to what had happened.

Madeline was dead.

The sentence played over and over in her mind, like a song lyric she couldn’t escape. With each repetition, her body tightened, as if preparing to be hit. She ached from the inside out and knew nothing would ever be the same.

Madeline was gone. Her funny, beautiful, perfect sister hadn’t survived the very surgery that was supposed to save her life.

“What can I get you?” Reid asked.

She shook her head, unable to answer him. Speaking seemed impossible.

The front door opened again and Walker and Cal came in, her mother supported between them. Evie had aged a lifetime in the past hour. Lines pulled her face into a mask of grief.

Lori crossed to her and hugged her close. Her mother’s thin arms embraced her.

“I can’t believe it,” her mother said quietly, her voice thick with grief. “I won’t believe it. She can’t be gone. She can’t.”

Lori agreed, but she couldn’t defy the truth. It nestled inside of her, a dark, heavy creature that stole her breath. She was cold and shaken and knew there were a thousand things she had to be doing. Only she couldn’t think of a single one.

The rest of Reid’s family walked into the house. They were quiet and uncomfortable, staying at the fringes of the room. Lori knew she should say something—thank them or give them permission to leave.

Before she could force herself to react, Reid put his arms around her and her mother.

“We’ll take care of everything,” he said. “Just hang on to each other. That’s all you have to do.”

Lori nodded.

She led her mother to the sofa where the older woman collapsed. Dani crouched at her feet and took her hands.

“Can I get you a cup of tea?” she asked. “Or coffee?”

“Tea would be nice,” Lori’s mother said.

“I’ll get it.” Dani rose. “Lori?”

Lori shook her head.

Reid settled Lori next to her mother. Both women were pale with loss. He’d never seen such a stark expression in Lori’s eyes. Her pain was so powerful, it was practically alive.

“Is there a doctor?” he asked. “Someone who can prescribe something for you and your mom?”

“What? I don’t know.” Lori shook her head and started to stand up. “I don’t…”

“My purse,” her mother said. “I have medication in there. The doctor’s name.”

While Dani was off making tea, Reid found Evie’s purse and called her doctor. In a matter of minutes, Walker had left for the drugstore to pick up the prescription.

Penny walked out of the kitchen and crossed to him. “She doesn’t have anything to eat in the house. I have the stuff I made for our day at the hospital, but that’s not going to be enough. I’ll write up a shopping list for Cal, then stay long enough to fix a few things. Friends and neighbors might drop off food, but we can’t depend on it.”

Penny had always believed food was the solution for every problem. It was one of her best qualities.

“Thanks,” he said. “That will help.”

“Good. Okay, let me get the list going. Cal can shop, then bring the food here. Once that’s done, he can pick up Allison. Elissa took her and Zoe home.” Penny shook her head. “I’m sorry, Reid. For you, for Lori and her mom. It’s so awful.”

He nodded, but didn’t say anything. There weren’t any words that could make what had happened all right. He hated what Lori was going through—what she would keep going through. She and Madeline had been close. The unexpected loss would be devastating.

Dani hung up the phone and waved him over.

“I’ve talked to the hospital and I have the information on when they’re going to release Madeline’s body. They need the name of the funeral home. Not right now, but probably by tomorrow. I also called my boss. He’s given me today and tomorrow off so I can stay here and make arrangements.”

Reid leaned down and kissed the top of his sister’s head. Penny was great with food and Dani could organize an army. Together they would all get things done.

“Thanks, kid,” he said.

“I want to help.”

“Me, too.”

He wanted to make things better, but how?

He felt a soft touch on his arm and turned to find Lori standing behind him.

“We should call some people,” she said. “Friends and stuff. We have a few relatives.”

“I’ll do it,” Dani said gently. “If you show me where to find the names and numbers, I’ll make the calls.”

“Okay.” Lori was pale and looked as if she weren’t quite sure where she was. “There will be a funeral. There has to be.”

“We’ll all help with that,” Reid said. “We can take care of the details. You don’t have to do anything.”

Her lower lip quivered. He reached out and pulled her against him just as she collapsed. He grabbed her, then lifted her into his arms and carried her into her bedroom. From the corner of his eye, he saw Dani sitting next to Lori’s mother and putting an arm around her.

“She’s gone,” Lori whispered. “I can’t believe she’s gone. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

He set Lori on the bed and stretched out next to her. She curled up against him. He wrapped his arms around her.

“It hurts,” she said, her voice shaking. “It hurts so much. I don’t want her to be dead. I don’t. It’s awful and I can’t cry.”

“You will,” he told her, as he stroked her hair. “You have plenty of time for tears.”

A COUPLE OF HOURS LATER, Reid drove back to Gloria’s house. Dani and Penny would sit with Lori and her mom for a while, so he could take care of a few things. Then he would return to Lori’s house to do what he could there.

Anger grew inside of him. Anger and guilt and the need to fight someone…anyone. But who? The only person to blame was himself.

“You couldn’t call?” Gloria said when he walked into her room. “I’ve been waiting by the phone. It’s not as if I had anywhere to go, but I’ve been worried. It’s a complicated surgery and…” She drew in a breath. “What happened? You look terrible.”

He sat on the edge of the bed and took Gloria’s hand in his. “Madeline died during surgery.”

The color fled his grandmother’s face. In a matter of seconds she looked old and frail.

“No,” she whispered. “No. That can’t be. She was supposed to be fine. She was supposed to make it. She can’t have died. Poor Lori. And her mother. They must be devastated.”

“They are.”

“That poor child.”

“She won’t be coming into work for a while. I’ll try to pick up as much of the slack as I can. Sandy said she’d fill in a little extra. Is that enough or do you want me to hire another nurse?”

Gloria’s eyes filled with tears. “No one else,” she whispered. “I’m fine. Getting stronger every day. I’ll be all right.”

“I know you will be.” He leaned over and kissed her forehead.

“I want to help,” Gloria said. “Do they need something?”

“It’s all taken care of. Dani is arranging the funeral and making calls to family and friends. Penny’s getting food in the house. Walker and Cal are running errands.”

“I want to go to the funeral. I can make it,” she added before he could say anything.

“Then you should go.” He released her. “I’m going upstairs. I have to make some calls, but I’ll be back down in an hour or so. You’ll be all right?”

“Go. I’m fine.”

She waved him away and he left. When he reached his room, he closed the door, walked to the sofa and sank down. Only then did he let his emotions loose. They swept over him, surrounding him, speaking the truth in a volume he couldn’t help but hear.

Madeline was dead because of him. He’d killed her as surely as if he’d stopped her heart himself.

He’d been so intent on proving himself by finding her a donor. He’d been so damned proud of himself. He’d wanted to be the hero and instead he was the reason Madeline had lost the last year she was going to live.

She could have still been alive today—living with Lori, talking, laughing, being. Maybe there would have been a cure, or a better donor. Maybe she would have been ready.

He’d heard what she’d said the day before the surgery. That she wanted more time. Because she felt responsible for him going on television, she’d gone forward with the surgery.

It was his fault. He had to go and try to fix things. To show off. To try to make up for all the other screw-ups. But look what had happened.

He’d ruined things when he hadn’t been trying and he’d made things worse when he’d been doing his best. He couldn’t win for losing.

He sat there for a long time, feeling the anger and regret. Knowing that Lori could never forgive him for taking the most precious part of her life and killing it. All he’d wanted was to help the woman he loved and instead he’d destroyed her.

AFTER THE FUNERAL, Madeline’s friends poured into Lori’s house. The small space overflowed with Madeline’s coworkers and girlfriends, people she’d known and touched in her too-short life. Lori greeted them as they came in, accepting their condolences. Evie stood next to her, but after a few minutes, excused herself.

Lori knew the last few days had been incredibly hard on her. Her mother seemed to have shrunk. She hoped that time would help, as it usually did, but as she, too, was still in shock, it was hard to imagine ever feeling better.

“I’m so sorry,” Gloria said as she entered. She leaned heavily on a cane and on Cal. “I don’t know what to say.”

Lori hugged her. “You don’t have to say anything. Thanks for being here. But don’t overtire yourself. You’re still recovering.”

Gloria’s eyes filled with tears. “Don’t you worry about me, child. I’m fine.”

Lori nodded, and Gloria and Cal moved on. A few minutes later, the last of the mourners had arrived and she was able to walk through the crowd.

She was amazed at the number of people who had shown up to celebrate her sister’s life. There was an equal number of smiles and tears as friends recounted funny and touching stories about Madeline’s life.

She found Penny manning the kitchen, organizing enough food to feed the city for three days.

“We’re good,” Penny said as she looked up from a tray of corn cakes topped with vegetables and tiny shrimp. “I have the food together and Dani’s handling the rest of it. I made some pretty intense desserts. At times like these, sugar always helps, don’t you think?”

“It does for me,” Lori said. “You’ve been great. All of you. I don’t know how to thank you.”

“You don’t have to. You’re one of us. Of course we want to take care of you.”

One of them? If only. But she didn’t say that. She thanked Penny again and returned to the living room.

Reid stood by the makeshift bar set up in the corner. She crossed to him and accepted a glass of white wine.

“You okay?” he asked, then shook his head. “Let me rephrase that. Are you able to handle all this?”

“There’s not a whole lot for me to handle,” she told him. “Your family took care of everything. I want to thank you for that. For being there for me. It means a lot.”

She couldn’t have gotten through this without him. He’d stepped in with Gloria, staying with his grandmother for much of the day, then showing up here to be with her. He’d spent every night since Madeline had died, holding her until she fell asleep.

Part of her felt guilty for not being able to give him more, but honestly, there was nothing left. Her emotional insides were a gray, empty void. Eventually he would get tired of that and move on, she thought grimly. Which meant she was looking at even more pain.

She wanted to say something to him, something that would keep him around until she’d started to recover, but there weren’t any words. Still, she had to try.

But before she could come up with anything, a woman walked over and started talking about Madeline.

“She adored you,” the woman said, smiling, but with tears in her eyes. “I still remember how happy and touched she was when you invited her to come live here. She told me she wasn’t scared anymore. She knew you’d be with her no matter what. She knew how much you loved her.”

Lori nodded. Her eyes burned as her throat tightened. “She was my sister,” she managed.

The woman gave a little sob. “Sorry. This has to be ten times harder for you than for me and I’m barely holding it together. I just wanted you to know that Madeline talked about you all the time.”

“Thank you.”

Others approached her with different stories. There were more kind words until Lori couldn’t take anymore. She escaped to her sister’s room. After closing the door and leaning against it, she realized she still wasn’t alone. Her mother stepped out of the small closet, a red blouse over one arm.

“I remember when Madeline bought this,” her mother said, wiping her tears. “She had just filed for divorce and she said she wanted to buy something cheerful. But the blouse looked horrible on her and I couldn’t seem to lie about it. I remember us standing in my living room, laughing over the fact that she couldn’t even buy the right blouse.” Tears fell and she wiped them away. “She was always ready to laugh at herself.”

“I remember. She tried to pawn that blouse off on me, but I told her there was no way it could look better on me than on her.”

Her mother sighed. “She was always a beautiful girl. Even as a baby, she was lovely.”

“I know. She never took a bad picture. Even those horrible school pictures turned out great. I hated that.” Emotions swept through her. She sank on the bed and clutched her sister’s worn and tattered teddy bear to her chest.

“I hated her,” she whispered. “God forgive me, sometimes I hated how beautiful and charming she was. How everyone loved her.”

Her mother sat next to her and hugged her tight. “You hush right now. Don’t beat yourself up, Lori. You didn’t hate your sister. Not ever. You wanted what she had and there’s a difference. You never give yourself enough credit. I know I’m to blame for that and I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Lori told her. “It’s fine. I’m okay. I just wish…” She swallowed hard. “I wish I’d been nicer or something. I wish she’d known how much she mattered to me.”

“She knew. Don’t you think she knew? You asked her to come live with you in her time of need. You opened your heart and your life. You were saving money so you wouldn’t have to work her last months. She knew all that. She would have loved you anyway, but she loved you for that. She respected and admired you. She told me.”

Lori felt her eyes fill and for the first time since hearing that her sister had died, she cried.

Big, fat, hot tears spilled down her cheeks. Sobs shook her body.

“I m-miss her,” she said, her voice thick and broken. “I miss her so much. I want her back. I know she had to try with the transplant and I’ll always be grateful she died with hope, but, God, I miss her.”

“I know you do.”

They held on to each other, connected by a grief that seemed endless. Eventually the tears slowed. Lori wiped her face.

“Mom, do you want to come live with me?”

Her mother smiled at her. “I appreciate the offer, but we’re both too stubborn for that to ever work. But I would like us to be close. We have each other and I don’t want to waste a moment of that.”

“Me, either.”

BETWEEN HER NEW JOB and helping Lori and her mother through the funeral, Dani hadn’t had much free time. So it was another week before she found an empty afternoon and the courage to face Gloria.

She parked in front of the large, old house and stared up at the sparkling windows. As a child, the house had terrified her. As a teenager, it had represented a place to escape from. She’d never been comfortable inside the well-decorated walls and she didn’t expect to feel any better at the end of this meeting. But she had to try.

She’d called Gloria and had asked for a meeting, explaining the purpose and, despite the older woman’s civilized behavior at the funeral, had expected to be shut down. But the woman she would always think of as her grandmother had agreed.

“It doesn’t mean anything,” Dani muttered to herself as she climbed out of her car, then walked toward the front door. “She just wants to torture me in person.”

There was no other logical explanation for Gloria’s agreeing to see her. Still, she couldn’t help the spark of hope that burned inside.

She was let in by Reid who gave her a thumbs-up after he led her to Gloria’s room. Apparently the accident meant she couldn’t climb stairs because Gloria sat in a wing chair in the study. The room had been converted to a comfortable bedroom, complete with an adjustable bed and large television.

“Hello, Dani,” Gloria said. “Have a seat.”

“Thanks.” Dani crossed to the other chair in the room and sank down. “You’re doing much better. You seemed to be getting around pretty well at Madeline’s funeral.”

Gloria shrugged. “I’m healing, but still getting older and older. It sucks, but there we are.”

Dani blinked. She’d never heard her grandmother use the word “sucks” before. It was kind of scary to hear it now.

“I understand you went to work for Bella Roma? An interesting choice.”

“I’m happy with it. Bernie is great to work for.”

“His mother can be a bit of a challenge.”

Dani remembered that Mama Giuseppe hadn’t had very much nice to say about Gloria and wondered about a past the two might share.

“I’m enjoying the new place,” Dani said, going for a neutral response. “It is challenging, but fun. Great people, great customers and the food is amazing.”

Gloria studied her. “I haven’t seen much of you lately.”

“I know.”

“Why is that?”

Dani stared at the other woman, unable to believe the question. “You made it clear I wasn’t family in the cruelest way possible. You deliberately hurt me. Why would I want to come back for more and why would you want me to?”

Gloria looked down. “Yes, I suppose when you put it like that…”

There was an uncomfortable silence. Dani found herself feeling almost guilty, which really pissed her off. None of this was her fault. She hadn’t done anything wrong. So why did she feel like apologizing?

“I don’t want to keep you,” Gloria said, pointing to a folder on the bookcase. “That’s for you. There’s basic information about your father inside. I didn’t bother with anything else because you’ll be able to find out whatever most interests you yourself.”

Dani stared at the folder, but didn’t reach for it at once. “You’re going to tell me his name?”

“Of course, Dani. I understand why you’re doing this, but please be careful. A man in your father’s position…” She sighed. “It won’t be easy. You have to understand that.”

Dani stood up and grabbed the folder, but didn’t open it. “What aren’t you telling me? Is he a murderer? Someone I’ll hate?”

“Not at all. He’s—” She waved at the folder. “Open it, for heaven’s sake. Then you’ll understand what I mean.”

Dani sucked in a breath, then flipped open the folder. The top sheet of paper showed a picture of a man in his early fifties. His face was handsome, smiling and incredibly familiar.

Shock held her frozen. She couldn’t read the words underneath or bring herself to turn the page. She looked back at Gloria.

“Mark Canfield?” she asked, her voice breathless. “Senator Canfield?”

“Yes.”

“He’s my father?”

“Yes.”

Dani didn’t know what to think. “He’s running for president. Of the United States. You’re telling me my father is running for president?”

“His campaign is still in the exploratory stage, but that’s what I’ve heard.”

Dani sank back into the chair and tried to catch her breath. She couldn’t get her mind around this life-altering reality.

“I can’t believe it,” she murmured. “Mark Canfield? I know who he is. I voted for him.”

“I’m sure he’ll be delighted to hear that,” Gloria said with a smile.

REID WOKE in the middle of the night and found himself alone in the bed. He lay there for a second before getting up and walking into the living room.

Lori sat curled up in a corner of the sofa. Outside, street light spilled through partially opened drapes and allowed him to see she was awake.

“Bad dreams?” he asked as he settled next to her.

She shrugged. “When I can sleep, which isn’t often.”

“You could take something.”

“I’m not ready to resort to medicating myself, although I’m close to giving in on that front.” She drew in a breath. “Why are you up?”

“You were gone.”

She didn’t answer that. He put his arm on her shoulder to draw her close, but there was a stiffness in her body that resisted his attempt to offer comfort. Uneasiness settled in his gut.

She was still deeply mourning the loss of her sister. This was hardly the time to talk about their relationship, yet he felt compelled to say something.

“You’ve been quiet,” he told her. “I know you’re going through a lot. I’ve been hanging around to help. Would you rather I wasn’t here?”

She turned to him, her eyes dark and unreadable in the half light. “I think that would be better. I need some space right now.”

It was as if she’d crawled inside his chest and drop-kicked his heart. The rejection was as sharp as it was instant. He didn’t know what to think, what to say. Lori didn’t want him around. Lori didn’t want him.

“I, ah, okay.” He stood. “I’ll go.”

He paused for a second, but when she didn’t say anything else, he had no choice but to leave.

As he got dressed he remembered all the times she’d worried that he would be the one crushing her. Looks like she’d spent too much time worrying and he hadn’t spent enough.

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

GLORIA THREW DOWN her napkin. “What’s wrong with you? You’re hanging around the house too much. Frankly, you’re starting to get on my nerves.”

Reid looked at his grandmother. “I can move out anytime.”

She sniffed. “I’m not ready for that, but I want to know why you’re so quiet and moody. While Madeline was a perfectly lovely young woman, you hardly knew her. So it can’t be that.”

It wasn’t. “I miss Lori,” he said quietly, knowing at this point there was no reason to hide from the truth. It slapped him in the face every single minute of the day. “I finally found the woman I want to be with and we can never have a relationship.”

“Why on earth not? The girl’s crazy about you. She has been from the beginning. I tried to warn her off, but would she listen? Of course not. Young people today.”

“She’s not crazy about me anymore. She barely speaks to me. About a week ago I asked her if she’d like me to stop coming around all the time, if she needed space. She said it would be better that way.” He stared at his uneaten dinner. “She can’t forgive me, which I understand. I can’t forgive myself.”

“For what?” his grandmother demanded. “What is your horrible crime?”

How could she not know? How could she want him to say it aloud? Unless this was her way of forcing him to take responsibility.

“I’m the reason Madeline died.”

“You’ve always had a flair for the dramatic,” Gloria muttered. “Dear God, Reid. You weren’t in the operating room. It’s not as if you ran her over with a car. How is any of this your fault?”

“I found the donor. I insisted on moving forward with that.”

“So she could have a chance. The new liver was supposed to save her life.”

“But it didn’t,” he said, feeling the helpless fury rise up inside of him. “It didn’t do a damn thing. If I’d just left things alone, she could have had another year. Do you know what that year would have meant to her? To Lori and her mother?”

“I do know,” Gloria told him. “But you’re taking your already overdeveloped sense of self-importance a little too far. Be logical for a moment. Madeline wanted a liver transplant. You didn’t force this upon her. Lori and her mother wanted it, as well. As far as they’re concerned, you made a miracle happen.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I have a good idea about it. Besides, based on what you told me, the doctor said Madeline would never have survived any major surgery. She had a heart condition no one knew about. So regardless of who found the donor, she would never have made it.”

“But she wouldn’t have died that day,” he said heatedly. “Maybe, with time, she would have had a chance.”

“Or not. You did the best you could. Reid, you put yourself up for public ridicule in an effort to save someone’s life. You acted as you did with the best of intentions. No one blames you. Not even Lori.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Of course I do. Did it ever occur to you that Lori’s actions have nothing to do with you? That she and her sister have been close for years and that the loss has devastated her? Did it occur to you that she’s withdrawn as a way to deal with the pain? Or maybe because she thinks you don’t care enough to deal with her grief. Have you talked to her at all?”

“There’s nothing to say.”

Her expression tightened. “I don’t remember you being this much of an idiot before. If you don’t get your act together, go to her and tell her how much you love her, I’ll write you out of my will.”

That nearly made him smile. “I don’t need your money, Gloria. I have plenty of my own.”

“Fine. I’ll fire you.”

“I already quit.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Then I’ll stop loving you.”

That got him. He straightened. “I didn’t know you did.”

She looked away. “Of course I do. You’re my grandson. I’ve watched you grow up and become, until today, a relatively decent man.”

“You’ve never said the words.”

She sighed and returned her gaze to his face. “Fine. I love you. Are you happy?”

It kind of surprised him, but, yeah, he was happy to hear it.

He stood, walked around the table and hugged her. “I love you, too,” he said.

“I know. So stop telling me and go say it to someone who matters.”

LORI WAS SORRY she’d started crying the day of Madeline’s funeral. It had been nearly a week and she couldn’t seem to stop. She wasn’t eating or sleeping. Instead she lived in a world of pain where she missed her sister in ways she hadn’t thought possible.

The pain was made worse by the loss of Reid. She’d known letting him go was the only thing that made sense. He couldn’t possibly want to hang out with her while she mourned, so when he’d wanted to leave, she’d let him. But as he’d been her only anchor in a swirling, scary world, now she was alone and it terrified her.

Her mother had gone back to her little trailer. All her friends gathered around her and she seemed to be doing all right. But Madeline had been one of Lori’s only friends.

“I’m pathetic,” Lori muttered to herself as she walked into the kitchen to make some tea. “I have to pull it all together.”

She had a job. Although she’d talked to Gloria a few times, she’d yet to make a commitment on returning. Part of her knew that Gloria was well enough to survive without her. Which meant she, Lori, should start looking for another job. But where? The thought of having to deal with someone else right now, to start over at yet another house with another family, was more than she could stand.

She put a spoonful of tea leaves into the pot while she waited for the water to boil. As she reached for a mug, she almost called out to ask Madeline if she wanted tea, then remembered Madeline was gone.

The wave of agony was sharp and fresh. It cut through her, slicing away her strength until she could only collapse and slide toward the ground.

But instead of falling, she was caught in strong arms. She turned and saw Reid standing there.

Gratitude replaced a little of the pain. She threw herself at him.

“You came back.”

“I had to,” he said, his eyes dark with emotion. “To tell you I’m sorry. I know this is all my fault. I know I’m the reason she’s gone.”

The kettle began to whistle. Lori released him and turned off the burner.

His fault? How could he think that? “You don’t have anything to do with Madeline dying.”

“I found the donor. I pushed for the surgery. I made it happen. She wasn’t ready. She made that clear. If I hadn’t pushed, she could have survived another year.”

Lori supposed a soft, gentle caring response was in order, but she was too stressed. She folded her arms over her chest and shook her head.

“I’ve always suspected you had delusions of grandeur, but I never expected this. Madeline died because her heart stopped beating. That’s it. Unless you have a direct line to God and put in a request to end my sister’s life, you had nothing to do with it.”

“But I—”

“Stop,” she told him. “Just stop. Madeline was going to die from her disease. One way or the other, she was lost to us. Do you know what it’s like to live day after day, knowing the end is coming? Sure, we’re all going to die eventually, but most of us get to pretend that moment is a long way off. We get to live normal lives. But that wasn’t going to happen for her. She was going to get more and more sick. The liver cleans the body from the inside. So she would get more toxic as time went on. Massive bruises would cover her torso. She would be poisoned to death by her own body.”

She dropped her arms to her side, but she didn’t touch him. She wanted him to listen, to not be distracted by anything else.

“You gave her what no one else could, Reid. You gave her hope. In fact you gave it to all of us. Don’t ever make that less than it is. Hope is everything. Hope is a miracle.”

“So if you don’t blame me, why did you send me away?”

“What? I didn’t,” she said. “I thought you wanted to be gone. I know I’ve been caught up mourning Madeline. It just seemed like you would want to be somewhere else.”

He glared at her. “Dammit, Lori, why do you always do that? Why do you assume I’m here because it’s convenient or easy? Why do you think I’m going to disappear at the first sign of trouble?”

His temper surprised her, as did her reaction to it. She was more than ready to fight. “Because you have a long history of taking the easy way out. We’ve talked about it. You don’t hang around when things get difficult.”

“In my past,” he said. “When, with you, have I ever flaked out?”

Good question. “You haven’t had the chance.”

“Oh, great. So you’re just waiting around for me to screw up? Because that’s what I do, right?”

“No. I don’t mean that.” She didn’t. Not exactly.

“So what did you mean? You dumped me before I could dump you?”

“No,” she told him. “I’m in mourning here.”

“A convenient excuse.”

“You should know—you’re the king of them.”

He shook his head. “You talk about me. Sure I’ve spent my life taking the easy way out. Well, you’ve spent your life not even trying. At least I show up.”

The unfairness and the truthfulness of the statement cut her. “You don’t know anything about me,” she said, her voice getting loud. “You don’t know what it’s like to live in someone’s shadow.”

“Bullshit,” he said in a low voice. “You called me on using my sad past with Jenny as an excuse to hide. Allow me to return the favor. You stopped hanging out in Madeline’s shadow a long time ago. Sure the story worked while you were still a kid, but you’ve been on your own for a long time now. You have a career, a house, you’re more than capable of taking on the world. So why are you so damned afraid to step up and take a chance?”

How could he be hounding her like this? Didn’t he know what she was going through?

“Why were you always so convinced that I could never really want you?” he asked when she didn’t say anything.

“Because you couldn’t,” she yelled.

“So this has all just been a game? I’m playing you?”

“Maybe,” she muttered.

“Maybe?”

“Yes,” she told him. “Yes, this is easy and convenient and fun and when it gets hard, you won’t be here.”

Then she started to cry because as she said the words aloud, she knew that the last couple of weeks had been hard and he’d been with her every step of the way. He’d never flinched from any of the emotional messiness. She’d been the one hiding, the one afraid to believe she was worth loving.

“If that’s what you really think,” he said quietly, “then I don’t belong here.”

He turned to leave.

It was like drowning. In that second, Lori saw her entire life flash before her. But it wasn’t the years she’d already lived—it was the years to come. The old, empty years of regret. Years where she would search the local papers for some word of Reid. Where she would waste her life wondering how things could have been different.

She could see herself hiding in a crowd, hoping to catch a glimpse of him, wishing he would look up and see her and give her another chance. She could see years of playing it safe.

“Don’t go!”

She ran into the living room and grabbed his arm before he could reach the front door. “Don’t go. Please. Don’t.”

She brushed at the tears in her eyes so she could see him. “Reid, don’t go. I love you. I love you so much. I’m terrified you’ll leave and I’ll never survive that. So I thought it was better to get over you now. To hold back, to push you away. I’m afraid. But that’s not fair to either of us. I’ve always hidden because it was easy and safe. But it’s lonely and not how I want to live my life anymore.”

“What if I don’t love you back?” he asked.

She felt cold all over. “Then you’re really stupid,” she said, trying for bravado and failing. “It’ll hurt, but I’ll recover. It’s easier to get over a heartbreak than it is to try to heal from regrets. And I would regret pushing you away. I’d regret it for the rest of my life.”

She decided to be more honest with him than she’d ever been with anyone…including herself. “I’ve spent too long not trying. Giving up instead of risking. That stops now. I love you, no matter what. You are a part of who I am.”

“I love you, too.”

She blinked at him. “You do?”

“I do. I love you in a way I’ve never loved anyone. You bring out the best in me, Lori. You don’t let me get away with anything. You’re not easy, but you’re the greatest time I’ve ever had.” He grabbed her hands, raised them and kissed her knuckles.

“I love you,” he repeated. “Seriously, deeply, forever. I only want to be with you. I want to marry you. I want to have babies with you.”

“I love you so much,” she said as she threw her arms around him and pressed close. “How could I not? You’re everything to me.”

He grabbed her upper arms and held her far enough away so that he could see her face. “Yeah?”

She smiled. “Yeah.”

“And you’ll marry me?”

“Yes.”

Something light and warm brushed against her arm. It wasn’t Reid and the air wasn’t blowing. Still she felt the touch and knew she’d made the right choice. For the first time since her sister died, her heart was at peace.

Thank you, she said silently.

The soft brush came again and with it, a faint whisper: “Be happy.”

If she hadn’t been saving money to stay home with Madeline, she wouldn’t have taken the job with Gloria. If she hadn’t taken the job, she would never have met Reid, wouldn’t have known what it was like to be loved by this man. She might never have found him, or herself.

For the first time in her life she knew what she wanted and where she belonged. With Reid. She’d finally reached the place where she could not only believe in him…she could believe in both of them.

SUSAN MALLERY

Delicious

CONTENTS

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER TEN

CHAPTER ELEVEN

CHAPTER TWELVE

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

CHAPTER NINETEEN

CHAPTER TWENTY

CHAPTER ONE

PENNY JACKSON KNEW that it was probably wrong to be so excited to see her ex-husband come crawling back, but she was willing to live with the character flaw.

“You know he’s going to want to hire you,” her friend Naomi said.

“Oh, yeah. The sweet smell of validation.” Penny leaned back in her chair and considered the possibilities. “I want him to beg. Not in a vicious, I hate your guts way, but more as a…”

“Show of support for divorced women everywhere?” Naomi asked.

Penny laughed. “Exactly. I suppose that makes me petty and small.”

“Maybe, but you’re looking especially fabulous today, if that helps.”

“A little.” Penny smoothed the front of her loose sweater and glanced at the clock. “We’re meeting for lunch downtown. A neutral location—no memories, good or bad.”

“Stay away from the good ones,” Naomi warned her. “You always were a sucker where Cal was concerned.”

“That was so three years ago. I’m completely over him. I’ve moved on.”

“Right.” Naomi didn’t look convinced. “Don’t think about how great he looks in his clothes, or out of them. Instead remember how he broke your heart, lied about wanting children and trampled your fragile dreams.”

Easy enough, Penny thought, a flicker of annoyance muscling in on her good mood.

Nearly as bad, four years ago she’d applied for a job as a cook in Buchanan’s, one of Cal’s family’s restaurants. The job had been strictly entry-level—she would have been in charge of salads. There had been ten other applicants. Worried she wouldn’t make the cut, Penny had asked her then-husband to put in a good word for her with his grandmother. He’d refused and she hadn’t gotten the job.

“This time the job is coming to me,” Penny said. “I intend to take advantage of that. And him. In a strictly business way, of course.”

“Of course,” Naomi echoed, not sounding the least bit convinced. “He’s trouble for you. Always has been. Be careful.”

Penny stood and reached for her purse. “When am I not?”

“Ask for lots of money.”

“I promise.”

“Don’t think about having sex with him.”

Penny laughed. “Oh, please. That isn’t an issue. You’ll see.”

PENNY ARRIVED EARLY, then stayed in her car until five minutes after the appointed time. A small, possibly insignificant power play on her part, but she figured she’d earned it.

She walked into the quiet leather-and-linen bistro. Before she could approach the hostess, she saw Cal standing by a booth in the back. They might have friends in common, and live in the same city, but since she’d done her darnedest to avoid close proximity to him they never ran into each other. This lunch was going to change that.

“Hi,” she said with a breezy smile.

“Penny.” He looked her over, then motioned to the other side of the booth. “Thanks for joining me.”

“How could I refuse? You wouldn’t say much over the phone, which made me curious.” She slid onto the seat.

Cal looked good. Tall, muscled, the same soulful eyes she remembered. Just sitting across from him caused her body to remember what it had been like back when things had been good and they’d been unable to keep their hands off each other. Not that she was interested in him in that way. She’d learned her lesson.

Plus, she couldn’t forgive the fact that in the three years they’d been apart, he hadn’t had the common courtesy to get fat or wrinkled. Nope, he was gorgeous—which was just like a man.

Still, he needed her help. Oh, yeah, that part was very cool. While they’d been married the message had been she wasn’t good enough. Now he wanted her to save the day…or the restaurant, in this case. While she planned to say yes, eventually, she was going to enjoy every second of making him beg.

“The Waterfront is in trouble,” he said, then paused as the waitress came by to take their order.

When the woman left, Penny leaned back in the tufted seat of the booth and smiled. “I’d heard it was more than in trouble. I’d heard the place was done for. Hemorrhaging customers and money.”

She blinked, going for an innocent expression. No doubt Cal would see through her attempt and want to strangle her. But he couldn’t. Because he needed her. Was, in fact, desperate for her help. How she loved that in a man. Especially in Cal.

“Things have been better,” he admitted, looking as if he hated every second of the conversation.

“The Waterfront is the oldest restaurant in the infamous Buchanan dynasty,” she said cheerfully. “The flagship. Or it used to be. Now you have a reputation for bad food and worse service.” She sipped her water. “At least that’s the word on the street.”

“Thanks for the update.”

His jaw tightened as he spoke. She could tell he was furious about this meeting. She had an idea of what he was thinking—of all the chefs in all of Seattle, why did it have to be her?

She didn’t know either, but sometimes a girl couldn’t help catching a break.

“Your contract is up,” he said.

She smiled. “Yes, it is.”

“You’re looking for a new position.”

“Yes, I am.”

“I’d like to hire you.”

Five little words. Words that weren’t significant on their own, but when joined together, could mean the world to someone. In this case, her.

“I’ve had other offers,” Penny said calmly.

“Have you accepted any of them?”

“Not yet.”

Cal was tall, about six-three, with dark hair. His face was all sculpted cheekbones and stubborn jaw, and his mouth frequently betrayed his mood. Right now it was thin and straight. He was so angry, he practically spouted steam. She’d never felt better.

“I’m here to offer you a five-year contract. You get complete control of the kitchen, the standard agreement.” He named a salary that made her blink.

Penny took another sip of her water. In truth she didn’t want just another job. She wanted her own place. But opening a restaurant took serious money, which she didn’t have. Her choices were to take on more partners than she wanted or wait. She’d decided to wait.

Her plan was to spend the next three years putting away money, then open the restaurant of her dreams. So while a big salary was nice, it wasn’t enough.

“Not interested,” she said, with a slight smile.

Cal’s gaze narrowed. “What do you want? Aside from my head on a stick.”

Her smile turned genuine. “I’ve never wanted that,” she told him. “Well, not after the divorce was final. It’s been three years, Cal. I’ve long since moved on. Haven’t you?”

“Of course. Then why aren’t you interested? It’s a good job.”

“I’m not looking for a job. I want an opportunity.”

“Meaning?”

“More than the standard agreement. I want my name out front and complete creative control in back.” She reached into the pocket of her jacket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. “I have a list.”

DOING THE RIGHT THING had always been a pain in the ass, Cal thought as he took the sheet and unfolded it. This time was no different.

He scanned the list, then tossed it back to her. Penny didn’t want an opportunity, she wanted his balls sautéed with garlic and a nice cream sauce.

“No,” he said flatly, ignoring the way the afternoon sunlight brought out the different colors of red and brown in her auburn hair.

“Fine by me.” She picked up the sheet and started to slide out of the booth. “Nice to see you, Cal. Good luck with the restaurant.”

He reached across the table and grabbed her wrist. “Wait.”

“But if we have nothing to talk about…”

She looked innocent enough, he thought as he gazed into her big blue eyes, but he knew better than to believe the wide-eyed stare.

Penny could be convinced to take the job; otherwise she wouldn’t have bothered with a meeting. Playing him for a fool wasn’t her style. But that didn’t mean she wouldn’t enjoy making him beg.

Given their past, he supposed he’d earned it. So he would bargain with her, giving in where he had to. He would even have enjoyed the negotiation if only she didn’t look so damn smug.

He rubbed his thumb across her wrist bone, knowing she would hate that. She’d always lamented her large forearms, wrists and hands, claiming they were out of proportion with the rest of her body. He’d thought she was crazy to obsess about a flaw that didn’t exist. Besides, she had chef’s hands—scarred, nimble and strong. He’d always liked her hands, whether they were working on food in the kitchen or working on him in the bedroom.

“Not going to happen,” he said, nodding his head at the paper and releasing his hold on her. “You know that, too. So where’s the real list?”

She grinned and eased back into the booth. “I heard you were desperate. I had to try.”

“Not that desperate. What do you want?”

“Creative freedom on the menus, complete control over the back half of the store, my name on the menu, ownership of any specialty items I create, the right to refuse any general manager you try to stuff down my throat, four weeks vacation a year and ten percent of the profits.”

The waitress appeared with their lunches. He’d ordered a burger, Penny a salad. But not just any salad. Their server laid out eight plates with various ingredients in front of Penny’s bowl of four kinds of lettuce.

As he watched, she put olive oil, balsamic vinaigrette and ground pepper into a coffee cup, then squeezed in half a lemon. After whisking them with her fork, she dumped the diced, smoked chicken and feta onto her salad, then sniffed the candied pecans before adding them. She passed over walnuts, took only half of the tomato, added red onions instead of green and then put on her dressing. After tossing everything, she stacked the plates and took her first bite of lunch.

“How is it?” he asked.

“Good.”

“Why do you bother eating out?”

“I don’t usually.”

She hadn’t before, either. She’d been content to whip up something incredible in their kitchen and he’d been happy to let her.

He returned his attention to her demands. He wouldn’t give her everything she wanted on general principle. Plus it was just plain bad business.

“You can have creative control over the menus and the back half of the store,” he said. “Specialty items stay with the house.”

Anything a chef created while in the employ of a restaurant was owned by that restaurant.

“I want to be able to take them with me when I go.” She forked a piece of lettuce. “It’s a deal-breaker, Cal.”

“You’ll come up with something new there.”

“The point is I don’t want to create something wonderful and leave it in your family’s less than capable hands.” She glanced at him. “Before you get all defensive, let me point out that five years ago, The Waterfront had a waiting list every single weekend.”

“You can have your name on the menu,” he said. “As executive chef.”

He saw her stiffen. She’d never had that title before. It would mean something now.

“And three percent of the profits,” he added.

“Eight.”

“Four.”

“Six.”

“Five,” he said. “But you don’t get a say in the general manager.”

“I have to work with him or her.”

“And he or she has to work with you.”

She grinned. “But I have a reputation of being nothing but sunshine and light in the workplace. You know that.”

He’d heard she was a perfectionist and relentless in her quest for quality. She had also been called difficult, annoying and just plain brilliant.

“You can’t dictate the GM,” he said. “He’s already been hired. At least in the short term.”

She wrinkled her nose. “Who is it?”

“You’ll find out later. Besides, the first guy’s just coming in to do cleanup. Someone else will be hired in a few months. You can have a say on him or her.”

Her eyebrows rose. “Interesting. A gunslinger coming in to clean up the town. I think I like that.” She drew in a breath. “How about five percent of the profits, a three-year deal, I get some say in the next GM and I take my specialty items with me.” She held up her hand. “But only to my own place and you can keep them on The Waterfront menu as well.”

He wasn’t surprised she wanted to branch out on her own. Most good chefs did. Few had the capital or the management skills.

“Oh, and that salary you offered me before was fine,” she said.

“Of course it was,” he told her. “That assumed you didn’t get this other stuff. How many are you bringing with you?”

“Two. My sous-chef and my assistant.”

Chefs usually came with a small staff. As long as they worked well with the others in the kitchen, Cal didn’t care.

“You’ll never take the vacation,” he said. At least she never had before.

“I want it,” she said. “Just so we’re clear, I will be using it.”

He shrugged. “Not until we’re up and running.”

“I was thinking late summer. I’ll have everything together by then.”

Maybe. She hadn’t seen the mess yet.

“Is that it?” he asked.

She considered for a second, then shrugged. “Get me the offer in writing. I’ll look it over and then let you know if we have a deal.”

“You’d never get this much anywhere else. Don’t pretend you’ll back out.”

The smugness returned. “You never know, Cal. I want to hear what your competition puts on the table.”

“I know who’s interested. They’ll never cut you in for that much of the profit.”

“True enough, but their restaurants are successful. A smaller percentage of something is better than a big chunk of nothing.”

“This could make you a star,” he said. “People would notice.”

“People already notice.”

He wanted to tell her she wasn’t all that special. That he could name five chefs who would do as good a job. The problem was he couldn’t. In the past three years, Penny had made a name for herself. He needed that to dig The Waterfront out of its hole.

“I’ll have the agreement couriered over to your place tomorrow afternoon,” he said.

She practically purred her contentment. “Good.”

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

“Oh, yeah. I won’t even mind working for you because every time you piss me off, I’m going to remind you that you came looking for me. That you needed me.”

Revenge. He respected that. It annoyed him, but he respected it.

“Why are you doing this?” she asked as she picked up a pecan. “You got out of the family business years ago.”

Back when they’d been married, he thought. He’d escaped, only to be dragged in again.

“Someone had to save the sinking ship,” he said.

“Yes, but why you? You don’t care about the family empire.”

He threw twenty dollars on the table and slid out of the booth. “I’ll need your answer within twenty-four hours of you getting the contract.”

“You’ll have it the following morning.”

“Fair enough.” He dropped a business card next to the money. “In case you need to get in touch with me.”

He walked out of the restaurant and headed for his car. Penny was going to say yes. She would screw with him a little, but the deal was too good for her to pass up. If she pulled it off, if she made The Waterfront what it had once been, then in three years she would have more than enough capital to start her own place.

He would be gone long before that. He’d agreed to come in temporarily to get things up and running, but he had no desire to stay to the bitter end. His only concern was saving the sinking ship. Let someone else shine it up and take all the glory. He was only interested in getting out.

PENNY WALKED into the Downtown Sports Bar and Grill a little after two in the afternoon. The lunch crowd had pretty much cleared out, although a few diehards sat watching the array of sports offered on various televisions around the place.

She headed directly for the bar and leaned against the polished wood. “Hi, Mandy. Is he in?” she asked the very large-breasted blonde polishing glasses.

Mandy smiled. “Hi, Penny. Yeah. He’s in his office. Want me to bring you anything?”

Caffeine, Penny thought, then shook her head. “I’m good.”

She walked to the right of the bar, where a small alcove offered restroom choices, a pay phone and a door marked Employees. From there it was a short trip to Reid Buchanan’s cluttered office.

He sat behind a desk as big as a full-size mattress, his feet up on the corner, the telephone cradled between his ear and his shoulder. When he saw her, he rolled his eyes, pointed at the phone, then waved her in.

“I know,” he said as she wove her way around boxes he had yet to unpack. “It is an important event and I’d like to be there, but I have a prior engagement. Maybe next time. Uh-huh. Sure. You, too.”

He hung up the phone and groaned. “Some foreign government trade show crap,” he said.

“What did they want you to do?” she asked as she swept several folders off the only other chair in the office and sank onto the hard wood seat. She dumped the folders onto his already piled desk.

“Not a clue. Show up. Smile for pictures. Maybe give a speech.” He shrugged.

“How much were they willing to pay you?”

He dropped his feet to the floor and turned to face her. “Ten grand. It’s not like I need the money. I hate all that. It’s bogus. I used to play baseball and now I’m here. I’ve retired.”

Just last year, Penny thought. With the start of the regular season just weeks away, Reid had to be missing his former life.

She poked at one of the piles on the desk, then glanced at him. “I distinctly remember you saying you wanted a desk big enough to have sex on. It was a very specific requirement when we went shopping for one. But if you keep it this messy, no one will be interested in getting naked on its very impressive surface.”

He leaned back in his chair and grinned at her. “I don’t need the desk to get ’em naked.”

“So I’ve heard.”

Reid Buchanan was legendary. Not just for his incredible career as a major league pitcher, but for the way women adored him. Part of it was the Buchanan good looks and charm that all the brothers had. Part of it was that Reid just plain loved women. All women. Former girlfriends ranged from the traditional models and actresses to mother-earth tree huggers nearly a decade older than him. Smart, dumb, short, tall, skinny, curvy, he liked them all. And they liked him.

Penny had known Reid for years. She’d met him two days after meeting Cal. She liked to joke that it had been love at first sight with the latter and best friends at first sight with the former.

“You’ll never guess what I did today,” she said.

Reid raised his dark eyebrows. “Darlin’, the way you’ve been surprising me lately, I wouldn’t even try.”

“I had lunch with your brother.”

Reid leaned back in his chair. “I know you mean Cal because Walker is still stationed overseas. Okay, I’ll bite. Why?”

“He offered me a job. He wants me to be the executive chef at The Waterfront.”

“Huh?”

Reid might be a part of the family but until he’d blown out his shoulder in the bottom of the third late last June, he’d never been involved in the business.

“That’s the fish place, right?” he asked.

She laughed. “Yeah. And Buchanan’s is the steak house and you’re running the sports bar and Dani takes care of Burger Heaven. Jeez, Reid, this is your heritage. You have a family empire going here.”

“No. What I have is a two-for-one appetizer special during happy hour. You gonna take the job?”

“I think so.” She leaned forward. “He’s paying me an outrageous salary and I get a percentage of the profits. It’s what I’ve been waiting for. In three years I’ll have enough money to open my own place.”

He looked at her. “I told you I’d give you that money. Just tell me how much and I’ll write you a check.”

She knew he could. Reid had millions invested in all kinds of businesses. But she wouldn’t take a loan from a friend. It was too much like being bailed out by her parents.

“I need to do this on my own,” she said. “You know that.”

“Yeah, yeah. You might want to think about getting that chip off your shoulder, Penny. It’s making you walk funny.”

She ignored that. “I like the idea of bringing back The Waterfront from the dead. I’ll become even more of a star, which will make my restaurant even more successful.”

“Not that you’re letting all this go to your head.”

She laughed. “Look who’s talking. Your ego barely fits inside an airplane hangar.”

Reid walked around the desk and crouched next to her. He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her cheek. “If this is what you want, you know I’m there for you.”

“Thanks.” She brushed his dark hair off his forehead and knew that in many ways life would have been a lot simpler if she just could have fallen in love with Reid instead of Cal.

He stood and leaned against the desk. “When do you start?”

“As soon as the paperwork is signed. I’ve heard the old place needs a total renovation, but we don’t have time for that. We’re going to have to make do. I need to put together menus, hire a kitchen staff.”

Reid folded his arms over his chest. “You didn’t tell him, did you?”

She squirmed in her seat. “It’s not important information.”

“Sure it is. Let me guess. You figured he wouldn’t hire you if he knew, but once you’re in place, he can’t fire you for it.”

“Pretty much.”

“Slick, Penny. But it’s not like you to play games.”

“I wanted the job. It was the only way to get it.”

“He’s not going to like it.”

She rose. “I don’t see why it matters one way or the other. Cal and I have been divorced nearly three years. Now we’re going to work together. It’s a very new-millennium relationship.”

Reid looked at her. “Trust me, when my brother finds out you’re pregnant, there’s going to be hell to pay and for more reasons than you know.”

CHAPTER TWO

FOUR DAYS LATER Penny drove to The Waterfront and pulled into the empty parking lot. The day was typical for March, cool, cloudy with a promise of rain later. As she stepped out onto the cracked pavement, she inhaled the smell of wet wood, salt water and fish. There were seagulls crying loudly and an air of desolation to the old building. Several remodels and patch jobs couldn’t disguise that the structure had been through tough times.

There was nothing sadder than a deserted restaurant, she thought. It was midmorning. There should be activity as the prep cooks arrived to start their day. The chef should have already planned the specials and checked on deliveries. There should be the scent of lingering wood smoke from the grill and a savory hint of spices. Instead a page from the Seattle Times blew past her car.

This was her place now. She’d signed the papers and delivered them back to Cal’s office. For the next three years, this was her world and she was master of its fate.

Excitement and anticipation knotted in her stomach. Under normal circumstances she would celebrate with friends, food and wine. For now the wine would have to wait.

“For a good cause,” she whispered as she put a hand on her stomach.

A car pulled into the parking lot. She turned to watch a dark blue BMW Z4 pull up next to her. She eyed the expensive convertible and thought of at least a half-dozen comments she could make when Cal climbed out. Had he been paying attention to the weather for the past thirty-one years? Was a convertible in winter really a smart idea?

But when he opened the door and stepped out, she found herself unable to do much more than smile and wave. As he straightened to his full six-plus feet and adjusted his leather jacket, she felt like a bit player in a men’s cologne commercial. Her job was to watch the male model in question while staring with slack-jawed adoration. Any speaking parts would have to be played by someone with a functioning brain.

Not good, she thought as her throat got tight, her thighs trembled and her already sensitive breasts seemed to strain toward him. Under the circumstances, a visceral reaction to her ex-husband seemed like a very bad idea.

She wasn’t worried about them actually meaning anything. She was pregnant, which meant spending her days in a hormone bath. She teared up at Hallmark commercials, sobbed when little kids clutched puppies and generally wanted to send the world a candygram.

Nope, whatever she felt this moment about Cal had nothing to do with him and everything to do with the pencil eraser-sized zygote in her tummy.

But that didn’t mean she wasn’t fully capable of making a fool out of herself.

She had to remind herself she was a big, bad chef with a reputation for being tough and difficult and something of a perfectionist. She worked with very sharp knives for a living. She could snap chicken bones with her bare hands.

“Ready to take on the world?” Cal asked as he approached.

“Sure. At least my little part of it.” She followed him toward the front door. “I’m going to need a key.”

He reached in his pocket and pulled out a ring. “They’re marked. Front and back doors. All the storerooms. The wine cellar and liquor storage.”

He unlocked the right side of the wood-and-glass double door, then stepped aside to let her enter. She pushed into the dim, open space, then wished she hadn’t when the smell hit her.

“What is that?” she asked, waving her hand in front of her nose. The odor was an unfortunate combination of singed fur, decaying fish and meat and rotting wood.

“It’s a little strong,” Cal admitted. “The storerooms weren’t cleaned out before the place was shut down. When I came by last week, the smell was worse.”

She couldn’t imagine worse. As it was, she had to fight to keep from throwing up. In the nearly four months she’d been pregnant, she’d never had a moment of nausea until now.

Cal propped open the front doors and turned on the fans. “It’ll get better in a moment.”

She rubbed her shoe against the carpet. “The stink isn’t going to come out with just a cleaning.”

“I know. There’s hardwood everywhere in the dining room but here. We’ll refinish the floors, then replace this carpeting.”

She hoped that would be enough.

At least the space was good. High ceiling and big windows. People dining on the water generally wanted to look at the view. She saw large easels with renderings of the dining room. Cal stepped toward them.

“As you can see, we’re making cosmetic changes. We don’t have time for a total remodel.”

“Uh-huh.”

Penny walked past him. The front of the store wasn’t her concern, nor did it interest her all that much. She had other places she would rather be—namely the kitchen.

She walked to the back of the dining room and through the large, single swinging door. The smell was worse here, but she ignored it as she took in what would be her domain.

At least it was clean, she thought as she looked at the large wood grill, the steamer, the eight burners, the ovens. There was the prep area, a long, stainless counter with a sink for salad, stacks of pots, sauté pans and bowls. She didn’t even have to close her eyes to know what it would be like. The blinding heat from the grill and the burners. The hiss of the steam, the yells of “order up” or “ready to fire.”

Because of the age of the restaurant, the kitchen was large and well ventilated. The mats looked new and when she picked up one of the pots, it was heavy and of good quality. Now for the storeroom.

“You could pretend to be interested,” Cal said from just inside the kitchen.

She turned to him. “In what?”

“The front of the store. The color scheme and how the tables will be set up.”

“Oh, sure.” She thought for a second, not sure what to say. “It was great. Impressive.”

“Do you think I’m fooled?”

“No, but you shouldn’t be surprised, either. The only thing I care about is how big the dining room is and the table configuration.”

It was important to know how many tables of six and eight and the policy on large parties. There were few things a kitchen staff hated more than a surprise order for twelve.

“I’ll get you that information,” he said. “So what do you think?”

She grinned. “Not bad. I’ll need to take a complete inventory. How much is my budget for new equipment?”

“Get me a list of what you need and I’ll get back to you.”

She wrinkled her nose. “I’m the executive chef. I should have final say on what I buy.”

“You forget that I know you. You’ll be online picking up God knows what from Germany and France and sucking down twenty grand before I blink.”

She turned away so he wouldn’t see her smile. “I’d never do that.”

“Oh, right. This from a woman who asked for a set of knives for her wedding present.”

She spun back to face him, more than ready to take him on. “Cal—”

He cut her off with a quick shake of his head. “Sorry. I won’t bring up our marriage again.”

“Good.”

News of her relationship, or former relationship, with Cal Buchanan would be common knowledge to the kitchen staff within fifteen minutes of opening. Kitchens didn’t have secrets. But that didn’t mean she wanted it shoved in their faces. Or hers.

Seeing Cal, talking to him, was strange. She wasn’t sure what she felt. Not angry. Awkward maybe. Sad. Things had been good once. But he hadn’t cared. He’d…

Okay, maybe she was a little angry. It had been three years. Who would have guessed there would be so much unfinished emotion?

At least she wasn’t going to have to deal with him on a regular basis.

“I’ll get you a list,” she said. “I’ll take an inventory after we’re done.”

“Okay.” He looked at her. “Try not to scream.”

“About what?”

“There are contracts in place.”

She knew he didn’t mean with employees, which only left food and services.

“Not my problem,” she told him.

“It is, because you have to deal with them.”

So typical, she thought. Cal was management. He might intellectually understand what it took to get dinner out for two or three hundred, but he didn’t feel it in his soul.

“I’m not working with crap,” she said.

“Can they screw up before you assume it’s crap?”

“If the food had been good quality, the restaurant wouldn’t be shut down,” she told him. “So there was something wrong, and I’m guessing it was the food. I have my own people I like to deal with.”

“We have contracts.”

“No, you have contracts.”

“You’re getting a cut now, Penny. You’re part of us.”

As there weren’t any profits from which to get a cut, it wasn’t a happy thought. “I want to bring in my own suppliers.”

“We honor these first.”

She recognized the stubborn set of his mouth. She could fight and scream and possibly threaten physical violence, but he wouldn’t back down. Her only option was logic.

“Fine. I’ll use them for now, but if they screw up even once, it’s over. I’ll go to someone else.”

“Fair enough.”

“You better have a talk with them. I’ll put money on the fact that they haven’t been delivering their best here. That had better change.”

“I’ll get on it.” He pulled a PalmPilot out of his jacket pocket and wrote on the small screen. Cal was such a guy—always in love with his toys.

“Shouldn’t the new general manager be handling that?” she asked. “Don’t you have coffee you should be selling?”

“Funny you should mention that,” he said.

She leaned against the counter and looked at him. All the warning signs were there—the brightness in his eyes, the slight smile, his sense of being totally in charge of the situation. Not that he was. This was her dream they were talking about and she wasn’t going to let anyone mess with it.

“Let me guess,” she said dryly. “I’m not going to like who you’ve hired.”

“I don’t know.” He shrugged, then smiled. “It’s me.”

She’d been expecting either a name she didn’t recognize or someone she’d worked with in the past and hadn’t liked. But Cal? Her stomach heaved once as emotion flooded her.

No. Not Cal. So not a good idea.

“You won’t have time,” she said quickly. Oh, sure, he was good—she remembered that much. He’d walked away from the family steak house to start his own thing, but it hadn’t been because he was failing. On the contrary, profits had been up substantially. But here? Now?

“I’m taking a leave for four months,” he said. “I’ll still go in to The Daily Grind office, but just for a few hours a week. My focus is The Waterfront.”

“Why didn’t you tell me when I asked the first time?”

“I thought you’d turn down the job.”

Would she have? She wasn’t sure. Not that she would let him know she wasn’t sure.

She laughed. “Gee, Cal, I thought your brother was the one with the big ego. Now I see it runs in the family.”

He didn’t even look uncomfortable, which was just like him. Instead he stared at her.

“Given our past, it was a reasonable assumption. Working together under any circumstances could be challenging, but in a restaurant…” His voice trailed off.

She turned away. Her point exactly. “I don’t care who I work with as long as he or she is good at the job. So show up, give a hundred and fifty percent, and we’ll be fine.”

“Penny?”

She breathed deeply, not wanting to give in to the anger inside of her. Deep, buried anger that made her want to lash out. It was the past, she told herself. It was long over. She had to remember that.

But her list of grievances—his wrongs—wouldn’t go away. She wanted to scream them all and demand explanations. Talk about unreasonable.

Still, she couldn’t help venting about at least one of them. An easy one that didn’t really matter anymore.

She turned back to him and put her hands on her hips. “What the hell was wrong with you?” she demanded. “I was your wife. It was a dumb entry-level job. Salads, Cal. Just salads. Why couldn’t you pick up the phone and put in a good word for me? Was it because you thought I couldn’t handle it?”

That’s what she’d always wondered, but hadn’t been able to ask. That he hadn’t believed in her. Because what else could it be? But she hadn’t been sure, and now she wanted to know.

He took a step toward her, then stopped and shook his head. “You make me crazy. It’s been what, four years since that job interview? Does it really matter?”

“Yes. It does.”

He shifted. “You won’t believe me.”

“Try me.”

“It wasn’t that I didn’t believe in you. Never that. You were great. The best. It was about my family.”

She frowned. “What? That your grandmother would see your wife working? She already knew I had a job, Cal. It wouldn’t have been a surprise.”

“No. I didn’t want you involved with her. Exposed to her.”

Penny knew he and Gloria had never been close, but she had a hard time believing that was the reason.

“I grew up with two sisters, and the three of us had to share a bathroom,” she said. “I know how to play well with others.”

“I didn’t want to risk it. I didn’t want to risk you. It was never about you doing the job.”

She didn’t actually believe him, but as he’d mentioned, what was the point in fighting about it now? He’d come back, begging her to work for him and she’d agreed.

“Whatever,” she said with a shrug. “I’ll accept you as the temporary GM. Just don’t get in my way.”

“Not my style.”

“It is interesting,” she told him. “I distinctly remember you once telling me hell would freeze over before we would ever work together.”

“You’re taking that out of context. We were married at the time. A restaurant is too small for a married couple to coexist in.”

“You sure made a lot of pronouncements back then. How many of them were accurate?”

She expected him to be annoyed that she’d dared to question him. Instead he grinned. “I figure about sixty percent.”

“You’re being generous.”

“That’s because of the subject matter.”

“Yourself?”

The grin broadened. “Who else?”

“Men,” she grumbled, shrugging out of her coat and dropping it onto the counter. She was careful to keep her back to him so he wouldn’t see her smile.

She could see that Cal still had the ability to make her want to chop him up into matchstick-size pieces, but he’d never been boring.

“We’re not married now,” she said. “I’m sure we’ll do fine together, as long as you remember where your authority ends.” She turned to him and pointed at the entrance to the kitchen. “This is my world. Don’t even think about stepping into it and taking charge.”

“Fair enough. And Gloria has promised to stay out of the restaurant, except as a customer. It was part of the deal to get me back. She won’t be bothering you, either.”

“Good to know.” While she didn’t think his grandmother was the demon he did, she and the older woman had never been exactly close. Whenever Penny was around, Gloria had a way of sniffing the air as if the odor was unpleasant.

She pulled a notepad out of her pocket. “Okay, let’s talk specifics. I need about a week to get the kitchen up and running. I already have a lot of ideas about staffing, so there’s only cleaning and stocking both equipment and food. Before I can stock, we need to talk menus.”

“When will you have them finished? I get final approval.”

She raised her eyebrows. “Are you going to tell me what to cook?”

“In this matter, yes.”

She didn’t think so, but she would pick that battle when the menus were done. “I’ll let you know how it’s going in a couple of days. How much time do you need for the front of the store?”

“Two weeks.”

He used a slender stylus to access information on his Palm Pilot. She moved closer to look over his shoulder.

Big mistake. Suddenly she was aware of him. Heat from his body seemed to warm her from the inside out. She breathed in the scent of him. Unfortunately, he still smelled the same. Just clean male skin and something that was uniquely his own.

Scent memories were powerful. She’d learned that in culinary school and often used the fact to her advantage when cooking. Now she was trapped in a swirl of memories that included lying naked next to him, listening to his breathing after he’d just left her trembling and exhausted from sexual satisfaction.

She took a big step away.

“I assume there’s a plan for the opening,” she said, happy that her voice sounded normal. Sexual thoughts were so inappropriate where Cal was concerned. Not only were they divorced, she was pregnant. She doubted he would find that a turn-on.

“I want a big splashy party on the first night. No dinner service, just a crowd and samples. You’ll be able to show off what’s to come. We’ll invite local press and the beautiful people.”

She smiled. “The beautiful people?”

He shook his head. “Business leaders, celebrities, whatever.”

“They’ll be so happy to hear how enthused you sound.”

“I want the restaurant up and running. The party is a necessary evil.”

“Don’t put that on the invitation,” she suggested. “I’ll work up a menu for that as soon as I finalize the menu for the restaurant. And just so you know, I’ll use your contracted people for regular deliveries, until they screw up, but for the party, I’m getting my own stuff in here. I have some fish people I use.”

“Actual fish people?” he asked. “Gills? Fins?”

She rolled her eyes. “You know what I mean. I’ll be using them for special orders.”

“Fair enough.”

She studied the notes on her pad. What else was there to discuss? She looked at him. “Did you have…” She frowned, catching his puzzled stare. “What?”

He took a step back. “Nothing.”

“You have the weirdest look on your face. What are you thinking about?”

“I said nothing.”

“It has to be something.”

“No, it doesn’t.”

Cal swore silently. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d gotten caught staring at a woman’s chest. What did he care about Penny’s parts?

He didn’t. He hadn’t in years. It was just…she looked different. There was an air of confidence he didn’t remember. That could have come from her recent success. But there was also the issue of her breasts.

They were bigger. He was sure of it. He dropped his gaze to her chest, then looked away. Yup, bigger. Her sweater hugged her curves before falling to just below her waist. He’d been married to her, had seen her naked countless times. While he’d always liked her body, she’d complained about being too boyish. All angles and lines. Her breasts had been small. But now…

They were bigger. How could that happen? Oh, sure, he knew about implants, but Penny wasn’t the type, was she? And if she was willing to have surgery to increase her cleavage, wouldn’t she have gone for more than a cup size?

He shook his head and told himself to think of something else. He was the cofounder of a multimillion-dollar corporation and in charge of a good-sized restaurant. He was also over thirty. Surely he could get through the rest of the meeting without obsessing over his ex-wife’s breasts.

“Who are you bringing with you?” he asked to change the subject. “You said two people.”

“Edouard, my sous-chef, and Naomi.”

He swore. “No.”

She raised her eyebrows. “Excuse me, but you don’t get a vote. She helps me. Naomi handles things for me and she’s the best expediter in the business. We’ll need that when we get busy.”

He knew that a good expediter was worth any price when the restaurant was swamped. Someone had to get plates out to tables, making sure the various parties were all served the right food at the right time. The expediter was usually loyal to the back of the store, while helping out in the front. The expediter knew everything that was going on in both places and could keep the chef in the loop.

“How do you know we’re going to be that busy?” he asked. “It takes time to build up a clientele.”

She smiled. “Hey, it’s me. They’ll come.”

“Talk about my ego,” he grumbled.

“No, thanks.”

She went down her list and brought up several more items. “I’ll be paying my cooks really well, so brace yourself.”

“I have a budget.”

“And a restaurant with a reputation for serving horrible food. You’re only here for four months, Cal. I know what that means. You want to dazzle, then get out. I’m fine with that, but dazzle don’t come cheap.”

“Keep it reasonable.”

“I’ll do what it takes.”

He liked that she pushed back. She’d come into her own.

“Let’s meet on Monday and see where we are,” he said. “Say noon?”

“I’ll be here, holding interviews. Come by when it’s convenient.” She put down her pad. “I’m going to stay and look over the kitchen.”

“You have the keys. Just lock up when you’re ready to go.”

“Sure.” She smiled and turned away, which put her in profile. His gaze dropped to her breasts. What the hell was up with that?

AFTER HIS MEETING with Penny, Cal returned to his office at the headquarters of The Daily Grind. He’d nearly cleared up everything for his four-month absence, but there were a few final details.

He made his way to his office and checked his messages. His assistant would contact him directly at The Waterfront if anything came up while he was gone and he would have biweekly meetings with his partners during that period.

The corporate headquarters were on the top floor of an old manufacturing building by the 5 freeway. He could see across much of downtown, toward Lake Union and the Space Needle. On a clear day, he could see farther, but this was Seattle and there weren’t that many clear days. Even now a light rain fell against his floor-to-ceiling windows and the skylights overhead.

He settled into work, only to have his assistant buzz him twenty minutes later.

“Your grandmother is here,” she murmured.

Cal wished briefly for an excuse not to see her. Unfortunately the downside of saving The Waterfront was closer contact with the old woman.

“Send her in.”

He rose and walked around the desk to greet her. Gloria Buchanan swept into the office with the grace and style of someone born in a much more elegant age.

She was slender and of medium height. She stood straight, despite her seventy-plus years, wearing a tailored suit and dangerously high heels. Her hair was white and always perfect, her face relatively unlined. Dani, his sister, swore Gloria had had cosmetic surgery. That, or she really was a witch and could summon supernatural forces to keep her looking good.

“Gloria,” he said as he pulled out a chair.

She nodded and took the seat. As he sat across from her, he thought about the fact that he had never called her Grandmother. Not even when he’d been young. She’d discouraged it from the start.

She shrugged out of her white fur-trimmed coat and set her pale-blue purse on the carpet next to her feet.

“I assume you’re ready to make the transition,” she said.

He nodded. “I’ll be at my office at The Waterfront starting tomorrow.”

She glanced around the spacious office and sniffed. “It’s not as if you’ll miss this place.”

“Of course I will. We started with nothing and built an empire worth millions.” Something a normal person would respect, he thought grimly.

“Oh, yes. Beverages and cookies. Quite the empire,” Gloria said.

Cal had learned there was no point in arguing with her. She saw the world as she wanted to, and from what he could tell, her view was cold and depressing.

“You’re not here to talk about The Daily Grind,” he said. “So why don’t you get to the point?”

“I want to talk about the restaurant,” she said.

“No, you don’t.”

Her dark blue eyes widened slightly. “Excuse me?”

“Tread carefully,” he told her. “There are specific rules in play. If you get in my face about any detail of the restaurant, I quit. I promised you a turnaround in four months, on the condition that you stay away. I meant it. One word of advice, one suggestion and it’s all over.”

“You’d really walk away from your legacy?” she asked, her expression both annoyed and imperious.

“I already have. It’s easier than you’d think.”

“I have bled for this family and our company,” she told him, her voice icy. “I have given up a life of my own.”

He’d heard it all before. “You’ve done exactly what you wanted,” he reminded her. “Anyone who stood in your way got taken down and thrown to the side of the road.”

She’d lived and breathed the family business for as long as he had been alive and he suspected the obsession had started long before then. Gloria would do anything to promote the Buchanan name. The irony was she wasn’t even a blood Buchanan. She’d married into the family.

“Let’s be clear,” he said. “I’m not doing this for you. I’m only coming in to help because of my brothers and Dani. Hell, Dani should be the one saving The Waterfront. She cares about it more than the rest of us combined.”

Gloria’s eyes narrowed. “Dani isn’t—”

He cut her off with a shake of his head. “Spare me the lecture. It’s boring. Like I said, I’m not doing this for you. I’m doing it in case one of us has kids who care. I’m putting in my four months and then I’m walking away without looking back.”

“You make it sound like a prison sentence.”

“In some ways it is.”

“Callister.”

He looked at her and for the first time she actually seemed old. Frail, even. But he knew better than to be sucked in by her tricks. She was a wily old bird and he’d been pecked more than once.

“Fine. Four months,” she said. “I heard who you hired as the chef.”

Her tone indicated he might have made a deal with the devil.

“She does great work and her name will bring in customers,” he said. “She drove a hard bargain, but I got her and that’s what matters.”

“I see.” Gloria didn’t sound as if she could see at all. She sounded annoyed.

Cal wondered what the old bat had against Penny, aside from the fact that she, Gloria, hadn’t handpicked her.

He knew Penny hadn’t believed that he’d done his damnedest to keep her off his grandmother’s radar when they’d been married. Back then he’d been afraid of what the old woman could do.

Now, everything was different. Penny had a reputation for being tough. He was willing to bet she could hold her own against Gloria. They would butt heads eventually; he only hoped he was around to see the show.

“If Penny cooks, they will come,” he said.

Gloria shifted in her seat. “I hope there won’t be any unfortunate incidents in our establishment.”

Cal knew he was being set up, but his curiosity was too strong for him to ignore the lure. The only thing he knew about Penny’s life since the divorce were the odd bits Reid dropped in casual conversation.

“What incidents?” he asked.

“She once stabbed a member of her staff. Apparently the man wouldn’t do what she said, so she took a kitchen knife to him.”

Cal started to laugh. Gloria glared at him.

“It’s not funny. She’s practically a murderer.”

He continued to chuckle. “Was she charged with anything?”

“I’m sure I don’t know.”

Which meant she hadn’t been. “I hope the story’s true,” he said, still amused. “I can’t wait to ask her for all the details.”

CHAPTER THREE

“IT’S ALL FINE and good to look at qualifications,” Naomi said. “But I want someone I can have sex with.”

Penny ignored her friend and glanced at the application in front of her. “I hear good things about him,” she said, making notes on a pad. “Put him on the list.”

“But he’s married and he doesn’t cheat.” There was a definite whine in Naomi’s voice. “I can accept one, but not the other.”

“We are talking about raising a restaurant from the dead. Not your sex life.”

“Why do they have to be mutually exclusive? I can be a good employee and have a great sex life. In fact, getting laid on a regular basis keeps me cheerful.”

Penny looked at her papers so Naomi wouldn’t see her smile. “Focus,” she said.

Naomi sighed. “You’re less fun now that you’re in charge.”

“And likely to stay that way. Who’s next?”

While Naomi shuffled through papers, Penny glanced around the transformed dining room. The place had been painted and there were new window coverings. The old carpet was up and the floors had been refinished. The scent of varnish competed with the smell of cleanser and bleach coming from the kitchen. The horrible odor of rotting food had been driven from the place, which made Penny grateful. She was well into her fourth month and she didn’t want to experience morning sickness at this late date.

“Asshole alert at ten o’clock,” Naomi muttered.

Penny turned and saw Cal walking toward them. He looked good—tall and handsome, wearing a black leather bomber jacket and jeans. He walked with an easy, loose-hipped grace that all the Buchanan men had. Good genes, she thought, which, unfortunately, came from Gloria. Penny might not like the old woman but she knew her stubbornness and determination had been passed on to her grandchildren.

“He’s not an asshole anymore,” Penny said, ignoring the sudden quivering in her belly. “He’s our boss.”

“To me, he’ll always be the jerk who made you cry for two weeks straight when he walked out on you.”

Technically Penny had been the one to move out of the apartment, but she knew what Naomi meant. Cal had done nothing to keep her and certainly hadn’t come after her.

“That was a long time ago,” Penny reminded her. “I’ve let it go. You should work on that, too.”

“Maybe.”

Cal approached the table. “Ladies.” He held out a cardboard container with three cups of coffee. “A little something to help with the hiring process.”

Naomi grabbed a cup and looked at The Daily Grind logo. “I’m more a Starbucks person, but any port in a storm.”

“Nice,” Cal said, looking at her. “Hello, Naomi. It’s been a long time.”

“It has.” She stood. In her black leather boots, she was nearly eye-to-eye with Cal. “How’s it going?”

“Great.”

“I hear you’re in charge.”

“That’s right.”

She took a sip of the coffee. “Every time I go into one of your stores, I remember the time I saw you naked. It always gives me a little giggle.”

With that, she strolled away.

Penny closed her eyes and winced. Unfortunately Naomi had seen Cal naked. She’d walked in on them making love, once. After retreating, she’d stood behind the closed door and complained bitterly about people who didn’t have the common courtesy to at least make some noise while doing it so the world could know what they were up to and not accidentally walk in.

Cal took the seat she’d vacated and picked up one of the remaining coffees. “Do you really need her?” he asked.

“Sorry, yes. She’s great at her job and she watches my back.” Naomi would also take some of the heat off Penny as her pregnancy progressed. “We’ve become something of a team.”

“Great.”

“You’re only here for four months,” Penny reminded him. “How bad could it be?”

“We’re talking about Naomi. It could be a disaster.”

“Not for our big, bad general manager.”

He looked at her. “I don’t think I detect enough reverence in your voice. This is my restaurant and while I’m here, I’m a god.”

“I must have missed that memo. Could you resend it to me?”

“I’ll bring you a copy myself.” He glanced around the dining room. “What do you think?”

She followed his gaze. “It’s fine.”

“Fine? Do you know how much this is costing?”

“Nope. And I don’t much care. The front of the store is your business.”

He shook his head. “You haven’t changed. What happens when you open your own place? You’ll have to deal with the front of the store then.”

“I’ll manage. Naomi has fabulous taste.”

“Are you sure she won’t want to turn it into some kind of sex shop?”

Penny considered the question. “Good point. Then I’ll talk to Reid. I’m sure one of his former girlfriends was an interior decorator.”

“Assuming he remembers which one.”

“Another good point. You’re on a roll this morning.”

He sipped his coffee. “You’re feisty. When did that happen?”

“A hundred and forty-seven days ago. There was a report on the news.”

“I missed that.”

“I guess it’s hiding with your memo about being a god.”

He grinned and she smiled in return. Even as she wanted to lean in and continue the banter, she knew it was far better to keep things completely businesslike between them. Her former relationship with Cal had started with fun conversation and had gotten more dangerous by the minute. Although she felt completely immune now, she didn’t want to take any chances. Not when it was surprisingly easy to be around him.

“You’ve been out of the business a while,” she said. “How does it feel to be back?”

“Good. Familiar. I didn’t think I’d missed it, but there’s something about running a restaurant. Everything’s changing, with no hour the same, let alone a day. Time is always the enemy. The next crisis is just around the corner.”

“Sounds like you’ve missed it.”

“Maybe I have.”

“I hope you remember enough to keep this half up and running.”

“Your faith in me is overwhelming.”

Cal watched Penny lean back as if separating herself from him. He could read her mind as clearly as if she’d spoken.

He hadn’t had faith in her.

The statement wasn’t true, but he knew she wouldn’t believe him. His attempts to protect her from Gloria had only widened the chasm in their rapidly unraveling marriage.

Ancient history, he told himself. Better to forget it.

She reached into a battered backpack and pulled out a folder. “Here are some sample menus. I’ve marked the items I want to serve at the big preopening party. The question marks are in place where I’m not sure what will be available that particular day. Inventory changes quickly and my fish people can’t promise the more exotic selections until the day of the party.”

He took the sheets of paper. “The infamous fish people.”

She smiled. “Sometimes they dress in costume.”

“I’d like to see that.”

She laughed.

The sound washed over him in a wave of unexpected heat. He felt it sink into him, warming him, arousing him.

Whoa. Not going there. He didn’t believe in do-overs, not in personal relationships, anyway. He and Penny were simply co-workers, nothing more.

But even as he told himself to back off, sexual energy poured through him, making him aware of the humor in her eyes and the way her skin seemed almost luminous.

He told himself that the former was at his expense and the latter was simply the result of damn good lighting in the restaurant. But even he didn’t believe it.

“Are you even listening?” she asked.

“Yeah. Fish specials depend on the whim of the fish people.”

“No. I was saying that I’ll be building my specials slowly. I won’t want to dump a bunch of new items on the menu at once. I also have a few things in mind for new signature dishes. Once we’re established, I’ll offer them as specials and if they take off, I’ll put them on the menu. I’ve also been working on a seasonal menu. Certain fish is available at certain times of the year. I can build around that. The same with produce.”

“Berries in the summer, squash in the fall,” he said.

She sighed. “I’d like to think I’m more imaginative than that, but yes. That’s the idea.”

He looked over the menu. There were the basics—steamed and grilled fish, soups, salads, sides.

He’d had her garlic smashed potatoes before and his mouth watered at the memory. She put in a secret ingredient that she’d never shared, even with him.

He flipped to the list of specials. “Corn cakes?” he asked. “I thought we were specializing in Northwest cuisine. Isn’t that Southwestern?”

“That depends on how they’re prepared.”

He shrugged, then shook his head. “Fish and chips? Do we really want to do that here? We’re going for an upscale experience, not cheap fast food on the pier.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Do I look annoyed?” she asked. “Because you’re really pissing me off here. Did you or did you not want a special menu?”

“Yes, but—”

“Did you or did you not hire me to make the dining experience special?”

“Yes, but—”

“Perhaps you’d like to give me a chance to do my job before you start complaining.”

“Penny,” he said, his voice low and commanding. “I get final say on the menu. That’s in the contract.”

He could practically hear her teeth grinding.

“Fine. Mark everything you consider questionable. Then be back here in two days. We’ll have a tasting. At that point, you will sample the foods you object to. I will be in the kitchen where you can crawl to me and beg my forgiveness, after which you’ll never, ever question my menu selections again.”

He chuckled. “I won’t be crawling and I will question as I see fit, but the tasting session sounds fine.” He pulled out his Palm Pilot. “What time?”

“Three.”

“Fine. Of course if I’m not impressed, I’ll be calling the shots on the menu,” he told her.

“Only if hell has frozen over.”

“I hear it’s getting cold down there.”

She muttered something he couldn’t hear, which made him hold in a smile.

She’d gotten tough in the years they’d been apart. He liked that about her. He doubted she would have any trouble controlling the kitchen staff. He thought about what Gloria had told him, that Penny had stabbed someone. He wanted to hear the story, but not just yet.

Cal looked over the menu again. “We should price what we’ve agreed on,” he said. “Somehow I think that will be an argument.”

“I have the costs here.”

She pulled out several more sheets, these printed out from a computer. They broke down the approximate size of each serving and the cost to prepare it. Store costs—labor, wait staff and the fixed costs of the building were arrived at by estimating the total number of dinners served per night and dividing that into store costs for the day.

“Your portions are too large,” he said. “We’ll have to charge too much.”

“Better that than they go home hungry and have to stop for a burger on the way.”

He braced himself for the battle to come. “Who needs ten ounces of halibut?”

“Fish is different from meat. A four-ounce portion isn’t normal.”

“We’re talking about a premium product.”

She tapped her pen on the table. “Gee, and I thought this was going to be a premium restaurant. Did I have that wrong?”

Before he could answer, Naomi walked into the dining room with a guy Cal didn’t recognize. Penny’s friend fell back a step, pointed to the newcomer and mouthed, “I want him!”

Cal groaned.

“It’s the wine guy,” Naomi said. “Who’s going to be ordering?”

“I am,” Cal and Penny said at the same time.

CAL WALKED INTO the Downtown Sports Bar a little after nine on Wednesday night. The happy hour crowd had faded with the end of the last game and now there were only the regulars and a few business people who didn’t want to go home. Which meant the crowd was about ninety percent female.

His brother, Reid, stood behind the bar, holding court while a dozen or so large-breasted beauties listened, laughed and openly invited him into their respective beds. Or maybe not so respective. With Reid, one never knew.

He’d always been like this, Cal thought with a grin as he waved at his brother and made his way to a booth in the corner. Back in high school, Reid had had more than his share of interested women. Some of it had been because he was the pitching star on the high school team, and some of it was because he was a Buchanan. The Buchanan boys had never lacked for female companionship.

As he approached the booth he saw his baby sister, Dani, already seated. She had a beer in front of her and an expression of betrayal that warned him she’d heard the news.

“How’s it going, kid?” he asked as he slid in next to her.

“How do you think? I’m still trying to pull the knife out of my back.”

If they’d still been children he would have tugged her close and tickled her until she yelled uncle. Then he would have held her while she cried. That was no longer an option and he didn’t know how to make her feel better.

“Hey, Cal.”

He looked up and saw Lucy, one of the waitresses, walking toward him.

“The usual?” she asked.

Cal nodded.

“Dani ordered nachos,” she added. “Want it for two?”

“Make it three. Reid will be joining us.”

“Sure thing.”

She turned, giving him a view of her rounded tush in tight khaki shorts. Only Reid could get away with making his staff wear shorts and cropped T-shirts in Seattle in winter.

Cal turned to his sister. He leaned close to kiss her cheek, but she pulled away. Her dark brown eyes sharpened with accusation.

“How could you?” she demanded.

“Dammit, Dani, I didn’t have a choice. You know I don’t want to get back in the business. I sure don’t want to work for Gloria. I knew I could either take the job or watch the restaurant go down the toilet. None of us would want that.”

“Ha. Why would you care? You couldn’t wait to get away from it all.”

“I don’t care,” he said gently. “But you do. Reid’s in the business now. Walker may want to be a part of things when he retires from the marines.”

Dani reached for her beer. “All great reasons. You left out kids. Won’t we want this great company to pass on to our kids? Not that any of us has them. I don’t see them in my future anytime soon, and I’m the only one who’s married, but hey, it could happen. Maybe one of you guys could slip up and get a girl pregnant. Then we could have yet another generation in the family business.”

He knew she was bitter and he couldn’t blame her. Ironically, her words hit closer to the truth than she realized. He had gotten a girl pregnant. Seventeen years ago his daughter had been born. Gloria was the only one in his family who knew.

Thinking of his daughter now made him wonder if Lindsey would ever be interested in the family business. Not that she considered herself a Buchanan. She was adopted and aware of the fact but had no curiosity about her birth parents.

“I’m not making a career of The Waterfront,” he said, then thanked Lucy as she delivered his beer. “I’m back for four months and I have no desire ever to run the company.”

“Too bad, because Gloria would hand it over to you in a heartbeat.” Dani tucked her short dark hair behind her ears. “She’s a powerful woman. You’d think she’d respect that I want to be just as powerful, although a lot less bitchy. But does she care?”

Before he could figure out how to respond to that, Reid walked over.

“Hey, boys and girls.”

Dani glared at him. “You already knew, didn’t you?”

“Knew what?” Reid’s expression was innocent as he slid in next to Dani and put his arm around her. “That I’m the best looking of the Buchanan brothers? Not that it’s a tough competition.”

Cal shook his head. “One day your ego is going to come crashing back to earth and crush you like the insignificant bug you are.”

“Unlikely. My bevy of beauties will protect me.”

“Anything falling from the sky will just bounce off their implants,” Dani said. “You need to get him from below.”

Cal grinned. “She has a point.”

“And so do I,” Dani said. She shrugged off Reid’s arm. “You knew about Cal running The Waterfront.”

“Sure. Penny told me when she came by to say she had the job as executive chef.”

Cal winced as Dani slammed her hands down on the table. “Why am I always the last to know?” she asked. “Can’t you guys keep me in the loop on anything?”

“Why would you care who’s the chef?” Reid asked. “It’s not like it’s your restaurant.”

Cal glared at his brother. “Shut up.” He turned to Dani. “I was going to tell you tonight.”

Dani stared at him. “You hired your ex-wife to cook at your restaurant?”

“She’s good, she has a name that’ll bring in customers and she was available.”

“Just perfect,” Dani muttered. “At least it’s late enough that I don’t have to worry about my day getting too much worse.”

Cal didn’t know what to say. He hated that when it came to the family business, Dani always got screwed.

“Penny’s a great chef,” Reid said. “She’ll make the old place a success. Don’t you want that? Aren’t you the one so interested in seeing the company succeed?”

“That’s not the point,” Dani said.

Lucy arrived with a massive plate of nachos. They dug in and for a few minutes there was only small talk about who had heard from Walker and whether or not the Mariners would have a decent season.

Cal glanced at his sister. He could feel the tension in her and knew she wasn’t happy. Maybe it was because he was the oldest and she was the youngest or maybe it was because she was the only girl, but he’d always looked out for her. Nobody messed with Dani without going through him first, and that went for his brothers as well.

But she wasn’t that little girl anymore and he couldn’t keep the whole world at bay.

“How are you doing?” he asked.

She shrugged. “Fine. The new low-calorie selections are doing great. We’re getting the dieting mom crowd in. The kids can scarf down on burgers and fries and mom can stay on program.”

She didn’t sound very enthused. Not that he could blame her. Dani had a master’s in restaurant management. She’d returned to Seattle, fully intending to work her way up the ranks. But instead of putting her in a junior position at The Waterfront, or Buchanan’s, the family’s steak house, Gloria had sent Dani to Tukwila to run Burger Heaven. She’d started as a hostess, been a fry cook and two years ago had been made manager. But no matter how hard Dani worked or how many times she talked with Gloria, the old woman refused to move her.

“You let her get to you,” Reid said. “If it doesn’t matter, she can’t hurt you.”

“I don’t know how not to care,” Dani said simply.

Cal knew that was true. Dani didn’t have a choice. She lived and breathed the business. Despite everything, she was a Buchanan down to her bones. With Gloria standing between her and success, her choices were to endure and hope to change her grandmother’s mind or walk away.

He wrapped his arm around her neck, pulled her close and kissed the top of her head.

“Life’s a bitch,” he muttered.

“Tell me about it.” She straightened and held out her beer. “Change of subject. To Walker. Stay safe and come home to us.”

They drank to their brother, currently serving a tour of duty with the marines in Afghanistan.

“At least we can all be together the next time he’s on leave,” she said.

Cal nodded. “We’ll plan something special.”

Dani wrinkled her nose. “Oh, please. Because you guys are so into social planning. I’ll be the one in charge of that and we all know it.”

Reid looked at him. “When did she get to be so bossy?”

“A few years ago.”

“I’m still bigger than you,” Reid told her.

Dani grinned. “Yeah, big guy, but you were raised to never hit a girl. Not even your sister. So there’s nothing you can do about it.”

CAL SAT in The Waterfront’s main dining room and waited. Right on time, the door to the kitchen swung open and Penny walked out. She wore checked pants, clogs and a three-quarter-sleeve white coat. A blue scarf held her braided hair off her face.

But instead of a tray carrying various dishes, she held only one plate.

He frowned at the fish and chips she put in front of him. “This isn’t the only item I questioned,” he said. “I want to taste the others, too.”

“Try this first,” she said, making no effort to conceal her certainty. “Taste it and weep. I’m going to step back a little so you’ll have room to come crawling to me.”

Yeah, right. She’d served fish and chips. How good could it be?

He was willing to admit she had the presentation nailed. The cream-colored oval plate contained three pieces of fish, waffle-cut fries and brightly colored coleslaw in a cabbage leaf.

“Got any malt vinegar?” he asked.

“Not a chance.”

“The diners may want it.”

“Not after they taste the fish. I’ll allow them to use it on the waffle fries, if they like.”

“How generous. Will you be posting a sign explaining that?”

She grinned. “I thought I’d just put it on the menu. You know, an asterisk by the menu item, then a little note at the bottom explaining the rules.”

Her confidence grated on him. He cut off a piece of the fish and tasted it.

Crunchy batter, but he’d expected that. Still, it was surprisingly crisp without being too hard. As he chewed, the flavors exploded on his tongue. The fish was nice and mild, yet fresh. There was also a hint of spice…No, wait. It was more sweet than spicy.

He took a second bite to try and figure out what she’d put into the batter. Something Thai? No, but chilies of some kind. And what was that tang?

He swore silently. This was better than good—it was addictive. He had to consciously hold back so he didn’t scarf down the entire plate of fish. Instead he deliberately turned to the fries.

The waffle cut made them look more elegant than other fries and he could see they’d been seasoned. He bit into one. Crispy on the outside, but soft and potato-y on the inside. And damn if the spices here didn’t add something extraordinary.

He moved on to the coleslaw and that blew him away. He should have known. Penny loved to experiment until she found exactly the right blend of seasonings. No doubt she’d been working on these recipes for months.

He looked at her. She stood just off to the side, her arms folded, her expression patient.

“You win,” he said with a sigh. “It’s great. I don’t know what you’re putting in the fish batter—”

“I’m not telling,” she said with a self-satisfied smile. “Chef’s secret.”

“Figures. Put this on the menu, along with everything else I questioned.”

Her smile turned smug. “I already did. Naomi called the order in to the printer this morning.”

CHAPTER FOUR

“WILL SOMEONE GET the goddamn salmon off the back burner,” Burt growled, his low voice thick with fury.

“It’s not my salmon, you sonofabitch,” Juan told him, then plunged his knife into a leek and neatly sliced it in two.

Penny ignored the usual high level of profanity, the male posturing and the jostling as her new kitchen staff learned to work together. Over time they would perfect a delicate dance that provided meals at rapid speed, while maintaining taste and quality, but for the first few nights there would be plenty of mishaps.

Nothing huge, Penny thought, willing the fates to smile on her. A cocktail party for five hundred was just the warm-up. Tomorrow they would be serving dinner for real.

Edouard, her sous-chef, whipped up more sauce for the corn cakes. “The salmon is mine,” he said, not bothering to look up as he drizzled in extra-virgin olive oil. “You girls leave it alone.”

A restaurant kitchen was mostly a man’s world. Penny had learned to deal with it in culinary school. At first she’d been shocked by the insults, pet names that would make a hardened criminal blush and the need for even more creative swearing. In time she’d come to see it as little more than the specialized language of the kitchen. She didn’t usually participate, but if necessary, she could nail every one of her staff with enough profanity to shock them into silence. Still, she preferred to pick her battles.

Someone dropped a tray of honey-grilled shrimp on the counter. Naomi immediately went to work dressing the plates, first squirting on a dollop of sauce, then adding a sprig of herb and a dusting of green onion. There were demi-cups of lobster bisque, delicately balanced waffle fries with tiny bits of batter-fried fish on top, seared salmon on corn cakes and an assortment of desserts.

Penny couldn’t hear much over the hiss of the steamer, the roar of the grill and the chatter of the staff, but a glance at the clock told her the cocktail party had been underway at least thirty minutes.

“I have to go,” she muttered, unbuttoning her coat as she headed to her office.

“Yes,” Edouard called after her. “If you do not go now, we won’t get any of the credit for the food. Go. Mingle. Come back and tell us we are brilliant.”

“Sure thing,” Penny said, then slipped into her office. She closed the door behind her and shrugged out of her coat.

Underneath she wore a low-cut silk sweater and a black jacket that matched her slacks. She’d traded in clogs for high-heeled boots. Her long hair hung loose, which made her a complete disaster for the kitchen, but her job tonight wasn’t about cooking—it was about making nice with Cal’s definition of Seattle’s beautiful people.

She checked her makeup, then stepped back as her door opened. Naomi stuck her head in.

“There are two waiters I’m considering,” her friend said. “I need your help in picking. I’ll point them out to you and you can let me know what you think.”

“Okay.”

Naomi smiled. “You look nervous. Don’t be. It’s going great.”

“You’ve been in the kitchen. You can’t know that any more than I do.”

“I have a feeling.” She paused. “Wasn’t that a song from the movie Flashdance?” She hummed for second. “Or is it ‘What a Feeling’? I’m dating myself, aren’t I? Would it help if I said I was twelve when I saw the movie?”

“Were you?”

“I honestly can’t remember.”

Naomi had turned forty last December and had celebrated with a long weekend in Mexico and a string of hunky cabana boys. Penny had always admired her friend’s ability to make her own fun.

“Nice sweater,” Naomi said, nodding at the emerald green fabric.

“I figure I’ll show off cleavage while I’ve got it.”

“Good plan. You hardly have any tummy at all, but the jacket hides the little that is there. Come on. You can’t stall here forever.”

Penny nodded and let Naomi lead her out into the main restaurant. As they walked out of the kitchen, a young blond waiter walked by. Naomi grabbed his arm.

“What’s your name?” she asked.

He grinned at her. “Ted.”

“Good.” She turned to Penny. “That’s candidate number one.”

Penny was still laughing when she turned to face the crowd.

Her humor faded as she took in the sheer number of people milling in the main dining room. They’d sent out over five hundred invitations and from the looks of things, everyone had decided to show up.

Soft music was barely audible over the general din of conversation. People stood in groups, chatting and laughing, while waiters in white coats circulated with trays of food.

The bar was doing a brisk business, hardly a surprise when the liquor was free. Penny had a brief urge for something to steady her nerves, then braced herself and tried to pick a direction in which to wander.

Just then the crowd shifted and parted, allowing her to see into the center of the room. Cal stood there, tall and studly in a dark suit. Her body reacted, getting all hot and weak and needy.

She used her kitchen experience to call herself several bad names and when that didn’t decrease her very inappropriate desire, she reminded herself that she and Cal had already tried the relationship thing and it hadn’t worked. He’d let her go without a whimper, leaving her to wonder if he’d ever loved her at all.

“So it’s just you and me, kid,” she whispered as she lightly touched her stomach. Then she squared her shoulders and plunged into the crowd.

“Nice to see you. Thanks for coming.”

Penny smiled, greeted and generally made nice with the prospective clientele. She made her way toward Cal, who came and collected her before she reached him.

“It’s going great,” he said. “Big crowd showed.”

“Sure they did,” she murmured into his ear. “The food is free. Let’s see how many of them are willing to pay on another night.”

He chuckled, then introduced her to several government officials.

“We used to come here all the time,” a petite, pretty lawyer said. “Lately, though…” Her voice trailed off.

Penny waved away the comment. “You can say it was really bad. I wasn’t the one cooking.”

The woman laughed. “I guess not. I’ve sampled most of the food. It’s terrific.”

“Thank you. Obviously we want to offer traditional favorites while helping people branch out.”

Cal put his hand on the small of her back, which caused her nerve endings to make a few Flashdance moves of their own.

“Have you tried Penny’s fish and chips? They’re incredible. I made the mistake of saying they weren’t important enough for our menu. She won me over with one bite.”

Penny glanced at him. “I didn’t think you’d admit that.”

“I was wrong.”

The lady lawyer grinned. “Care to embroider that on a pillow? Women everywhere would love to see it.”

“No, thanks.”

Cal excused them and they moved to another group of local business people. He introduced her and then let her explain about her philosophy as far as using local ingredients whenever possible.

“We live in a wonderful part of the country,” she said. “Why not take advantage of that?”

A reporter from the Seattle Times moved closer. “Are you going to be featuring Washington wines?”

“Of course. And those from Oregon and British Columbia. Obviously, we’ll have selections from California, France and other places, but our focus is regional.”

The next two hours were a blur of introductions and sound bites to sell the restaurant. Cal stayed close except when she ducked into the kitchen to check on things. When she returned to the dining room, it was to find Naomi leading Gloria Buchanan toward her.

They were an odd couple. Gloria was small, with white hair and piercing blue eyes. Her clothes cost more than the national debt of several small island nations. Naomi towered over her, six feet of Amazon beauty. Her wavy dark hair fell down her back, and her green eyes seemed to laugh at the world. But it was the heart tattoo on her bare shoulder and the way her breasts moved in the black halter top that really caught one’s attention.

“Lookee who I found,” Naomi said, releasing Gloria’s arm and grinning. “Don’t you know her?”

Gloria adjusted the sleeve of her winter-white wool suit jacket and sniffed. “Who is this person?” she demanded.

“Hello, Gloria,” Penny said, forcing a smile. Gloria had made it very clear she would never forgive Penny for leaving her precious grandson. After all, in Gloria’s mind, marriage to a Buchanan was a pinnacle few could hope to achieve. “Nice to see you. This is my friend Naomi.”

Gloria glanced at the other woman, then turned back to Penny. “If you say so.”

“Oh, Penny and I go way back,” Naomi said cheerfully. “We met while she was still at the culinary institute. I was her next-door neighbor and she came over to complain that I was making too much noise.”

Penny winced, knowing what was to come.

Naomi lowered her voice. “It was the sex. I have this thing for younger men and that can get kinda noisy. I felt really bad. But Penny was great about it and we became friends.”

Gloria’s expression didn’t change, but her mouth tightened. It was what gave her away—a trait she shared with her grandson.

Cal joined them. Gloria looked at him. “Do you know this woman?” she demanded, pointing at Naomi.

Cal groaned. “Oh, yeah.”

Naomi sighed. “Tell her about the time I saw you naked,” she said, then strolled off.

Cal looked from Naomi to his grandmother, then excused himself. Under the circumstances, Penny couldn’t exactly blame him. Unfortunately, his action left her alone with Gloria.

“So, Callister hired you,” the older woman said, her voice laced with displeasure.

“That he did. I have a three-year contract.”

“I see.”

“Have you tasted the food?”

Gloria glanced at a passing tray. “I have a delicate stomach.”

The insult was so blatant, it was almost funny. Almost. Penny wasn’t surprised to hear she wasn’t Gloria’s first choice. For some reason, the old bat had never liked her and it was hard to feel affection for someone so determined to keep her on the outside.

“Too bad,” Penny said. “We’re getting rave reviews.”

“The food is free, dear. What did you expect?”

Sort of what Penny had thought. Not that she was going to admit it.

“Well, this has been great,” she said. “Nice to see you again, but I have to—”

Gloria grabbed her arm. “You won’t get him back, you know.”

“What?”

“Callister. He’s over you. I’m not sure what he ever saw in you.”

“Yes, I know. You made that very clear.” Penny pulled her arm free and wished her mother had been just a little less insistent on one being polite to one’s elders.

Cal might have let her go without a whimper, but Gloria had practically had a party to celebrate the divorce. At least that’s what Reid had told her.

“You were never right for him,” Gloria said. “You never cared enough. What kind of woman walks out on her marriage?”

The unfairness of the accusation caused Penny to abruptly excuse herself. As she walked away, she found herself wanting to turn around and announce that she had cared. She’d loved Cal with her whole heart. She would have done anything for him—anything but not have a child. Having a family of her own was the one thing she wouldn’t compromise on.

“Stupid old woman,” she muttered, then grabbed a cup of bisque from a passing waiter and drank it down.

“I saw the smoke so I came running.”

Penny turned and saw Reid behind her. She leaned against him. “Your grandmother is horrible. I’d forgotten how bad.”

“No one ever really forgets about her. You just repressed the memory. We all do. It’s how we survive.”

He wrapped both arms around her and kissed the top of her head. “The party is great. People are raving about the food. I think you’re a hit.”

“I hope so.”

“How are you feeling?” he asked, his voice low.

“I have a horrible craving for orange sherbet. I’m surrounded by all this amazing food and that’s all I can think about.”

“Pretty sick.”

“That’s what I’m thinking.”

Cal walked up, dragging Naomi behind him.

“Do something,” he told Penny. “She’s asking my opinion about waiters.”

“There are so many to choose from,” Naomi said, suddenly focused on Reid. “Well, hello. You didn’t head off to spring training.”

“Not this year.”

“That’s too bad. I always enjoy watching you work. You move really well.”

Penny shivered. “Stop it. You guys are my friends. I can’t deal with this.”

Reid flashed her a grin. “You’re going to have to get over it.” He held out his hand to Naomi. “Shall we?”

“We shall.”

They strolled off together.

Penny watched them go. “I don’t know which one to worry about. I suppose it’s been inevitable. They’ve known each other for years. But Reid was always coming or going and Naomi…” She paused. “I’m not sure why she waited this long. At least she’ll help keep his mind off the season starting.”

“Nothing against your friend, but no woman could do that.”

“Then she’ll be a distraction.”

Cal shrugged. “Probably.”

“Naomi can handle him. She can handle anyone.”

“She’s had the practice.”

Penny was about to take offense for her friend when she realized Cal wasn’t talking to her. Oh, he’d faced her and was therefore pointing in the right direction, but his attention was far more on her chest than her face.

She’d never had the kind of body that commanded men’s attention and it felt good to have it now. Twisted, but good.

“Shall we?” she asked, pointing to the crowd.

“Why not?”

They dove back in.

CAL WOKE UP in a great mood. The party the previous night had gone well and he was expecting a lot of positive press from the event. Even more important, people would talk about Penny’s food and that would bring in customers as much as any article. If the opening went as smoothly as the party, then he would have achieved the success he wanted in four months and he could bow out and return to The Daily Grind.

He showered, shaved and was about to pick out his clothes for the day when his phone rang. He glanced at the clock. Who the hell would be calling at ten past seven in the morning?

He instantly thought of Walker. Had something happened to his brother? He reached for the phone.

“Dammit, Cal, this is your fault,” Penny yelled before he had a chance to say hello. “Get down here right now. To the restaurant,” she added. “I mean it. You have twenty minutes.” Then she hung up.

A push, but he made it with forty-five seconds to spare. Whatever the crisis was, he planned to have a little talk with her about manager-chef relationships. She might be in charge of the kitchen but that didn’t make her boss of the world.

He pulled into the parking lot and circled around back. As he’d suspected, the morning deliveries were stacked outside the rear of the building. Penny stood there with a very tousled Naomi at her side.

He didn’t want to think about what Naomi had done with her night. Not when his brother was involved. So he parked and climbed out of his car. Penny saw him and raced toward him.

“Smell this,” she said, thrusting a large piece of fish in his face. “Smell it.”

He inhaled, then wished he hadn’t. Good fish shouldn’t have a smell at all. Old fish smelled fishy. This fish smelled as if it had died three weeks ago.

“It’s all crap,” she said, her eyes bright with temper, her cheeks blazing as red as her hair. “You could tie the celery in knots and it wouldn’t break. The shallots are practically a liquid. Crap. Did I tell you? Did I say there was a reason this restaurant had closed? Did you listen?”

She sucked in a breath. “Do you know how many reservations we have for tonight? The house is full. Full. Starting at six and going through until ten, we have every seat taken. We’re talking about dinner for just over three hundred. You want to know how much food I have? None. None! I have a damn box of cornstarch and three leeks and I have to provide dinner for three hundred.”

“Penny—”

She ignored him. “I said they could screw up one time. Well, they have. I’ll get my own people in here, which is great, but I still have dinner for three hundred tonight. I want someone’s head on a platter. I want it now and I want it raw. I’ll cook it myself.”

With that she turned on her heel and stalked into the restaurant.

He was equally torn between admiring her spirit and dealing with the disaster at hand.

Naomi stared at him. “Don’t go there, big guy. You already screwed that one up once.”

Cal ignored that. “Tell the guy to pack up and send it all back.” He would call later and cancel the contract, but right now there was a bigger problem. Dinner for three hundred.

He went into the restaurant and found Penny in the cold storage, taking inventory.

“I have shrimp,” she said, a note of hysteria in her voice. “Great. If we cut them in half, then everyone gets a serving. Fabulous. Come to The Waterfront and enjoy half a shrimp.” She turned and saw him. “Get out of my way.”

“I want to help.”

“You will. Tell me you drive something bigger than that expensive toy.”

“I have a full-sized truck.”

“Good. Go get it. Dress dirty. We’re going to Pike Place Market. But first I’m calling my fish people and finding out what they can do for me.” She winced. “They’re going to charge a lot for a last minute order.”

“We’ll pay.” He moved close and grabbed her shoulders. “I’m sorry the delivery was crap, but we’ll handle this. We can do an opening night chef’s menu and pretend it was our plan all along.”

“I know, but you have the easy part. You just have to print it out on the computer and slip it into the menus. I have to figure it all out and then make sure we have enough food, then cook it.”

“You can do it.”

“There’s an assumption.”

He saw the doubt in her eyes.

He felt her pain and annoyance and couldn’t think of a damn thing to make her feel better. She deserved more. Worse, he was partially to blame. He’d insisted on keeping the old vendors.

“I…”

“Yes? Any solution would be welcome.”

When he was silent, she sighed. “Yeah, I don’t have a miracle up my sleeve, either. Okay, meet us at the market in forty-five minutes,” she said. “We’ll check out what’s available and I’ll come up with a menu. Then we’ll put it all together and pray that it works.”

CHAPTER FIVE

CAL WALKED THROUGH the dining room at eight-thirty on opening night. Every table was full and there wasn’t an empty seat at the bar. Quiet music blended with conversation and laughter from the guests. He could smell the various foods and hear the comments of surprise as people tasted one of Penny’s many special dishes.

The disaster had been averted.

Three hours at the market, with everyone running around buying mushrooms, shallots, fish, shellfish and ingredients for salad had produced a Chef’s Menu that should fool everyone. He couldn’t believe she’d pulled it all together so quickly, but she had.

He crossed the floor and pushed through the swinging door. In contrast to the quiet elegance of the dining room, the kitchen was a loud, bright, crazy house of activity.

“Fire up!” one of the cooks yelled. “Fire up, you skinny-assed sonofabitch.”

“Puta,” the other man replied without looking up from his pan where he sautéed shrimp with various vegetables.

“Table three. I’m waiting on bisque,” Naomi yelled from the front. “Bisque, ladies. How hard is that?”

Another chef pushed a full bowl toward her. She grabbed it, put it on a tray, expertly turned, then hustled out into the dining room.

Cal moved next to Penny who watched everything anxiously. She fingered the orders lined up and then turned to him. “What’s the next seating?” she asked.

“Two tables of four are going to open up in about five minutes.”

“Okay, once they’re seated, switch the menu.” She shook her head. “I hate this.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“Ha. Like that helps me now.”

He was just as pissed as she was, but figured there was no point in showing it. One of them screaming was enough. But the contracts with the old supplier had already been canceled and the new company would start in the morning. He would be there himself to make sure everything was up to standard. If it wasn’t, there would be hell to pay.

“I’ve never had to do this,” Penny said. “It’s opening night, Cal. I’m playing fast and loose with the menu. One special order could sink me. I don’t need this kind of pressure.”

The small printer in the corner spat out three more orders. Penny lunged for them. He sidestepped her and started out of the kitchen. On his way, he passed Naomi.

“She still threatening to kill you?” the other woman asked.

“Not to my face.”

“You should have been here earlier.” Naomi lowered her voice. “Orange sherbet. Bring her some and she’ll be eating out of your hand. Assuming you’re into that sort of thing.”

He looked at Naomi. “Why are you being nice to me?”

She grinned. “Because sex with your brother was so amazing, I’m feeling at one with the world. I’d say that you should try it, but that’s a place neither of us wants to go.”

“You got that right.”

He left the kitchen and made his way to his office. Leaving the store wasn’t an option—not on opening night. But he was management, he knew how to delegate. Once there he picked up the phone and called Reid. “Do me a favor,” he said. “Stop at the store on your way over and pick up some orange sherbet.”

IT WAS AFTER MIDNIGHT before the last guests had left, the kitchen had been cleaned and the staff clocked out. Penny sat at a round table for six, her feet propped on a chair, her lower back aching.

Every cell in her body groaned with exhaustion. She’d been at the restaurant since shortly after six. Eighteen-hour days weren’t all that uncommon in the business, but she was pregnant and apparently that changed things.

“You did good,” Dani told her. “I was impressed.”

“Thanks. I just never wanted to have to replace menus partway through the evening.”

Talk about doubling the work in the kitchen. But they’d done it. Their first night in business was a hit.

Hugh, Dani’s husband, raised his glass of wine in her direction. “To Penny—chef extraordinaire.”

“To Penny.”

Everyone joined in. Penny smiled. “Thanks. I appreciate it. Now one of you volunteer to take care of my shift tomorrow and I’ll be really grateful.”

“Not a good idea,” Naomi said from her place next to Reid. “You’re the talented one.”

“That is the rumor.”

Penny picked up her glass of water. She’d been fake-drinking her wine for nearly half an hour and was ready to give up the game. Half the people at the table knew the truth. She did, of course. Naomi and Reid. Which left Dani, Hugh and Cal as the only ones who didn’t.

Penny looked at Dani and her husband. Dani sat on her husband’s lap, her legs hanging over the arm of his wheelchair. Hugh was tall and muscled, a former star football player at the University of Washington. He’d been injured his senior year, a hit gone wrong paralyzing him from the waist down. Dani had stuck by him through his recovery and rehab, her love never wavering.

Penny didn’t know anything about their sex life, although with Hugh’s injuries it was unlikely to be completely conventional. What would happen when they wanted children?

On the off chance word of her pregnancy might send Dani to a bad place, Penny decided to keep the news to herself for now. She would have to come clean with Cal sooner rather than later, but not tonight.

Speaking of Cal—she turned her attention to her ex-husband. She was still pissed off that he’d insisted she use his suppliers who had then totally screwed her, but she had to admit he’d taken the fall like a gentleman and had done everything he could to help. He’d always been a great guy to have around in an emergency. It was the day-to-day stuff he wasn’t so good at.

“Your fish and chips were a hit,” Cal said, with a nod of his head. “I bow to your superior cooking skills.”

“As you should,” Naomi told him.

“It’s our first victory,” Penny said. “Let’s hope there are others that follow.”

He stood. “I need some more wine,” he said. “Anyone want any?”

There was a chorus of nos. Cal had a feeling the party was going to break up soon. Both Dani and Hugh had to be up early, and Reid and Naomi were looking at each other like sharks eyeing bait. He guessed they’d be heading out shortly to do things he didn’t want to think about.

He nudged Penny’s chair. “Come into the kitchen for a second,” he said.

She pushed herself to her feet and followed him. “If we’ve got rats, I don’t want to know.”

“It’s a restaurant in an old building. What do you think?”

She shuddered. “I know it’s inevitable, but I don’t want to see them.”

“I’ve got a great exterminator.”

“You’d better. I hate rats. It’s the tails. They’re so scaly looking. Why can’t their tails be furry?”

“Not my department.”

He crossed to the freezer and stepped inside. The carton Reid had brought earlier was right where Cal had left it. Orange sherbet didn’t sound the least bit like anything Penny—the queen of fussy eating—would want, but Naomi was too happy with Reid to lie. So he pulled out the container and slapped it on the counter.

“I heard you had a taste for this,” he said. “It’s my way of saying thanks for doing a hell of a job tonight.”

Penny took a step back. “Who told you to buy this?”

“Naomi. I think she felt bad because I heard you planning to kill me.”

Penny grabbed a bowl and a spoon. “I only threatened to take out your liver. There’s a difference.”

“It’s a subtle one.”

“Want some?”

“No, thanks. Not my favorite flavor.”

“More for me.”

She scooped out the sherbet and pushed the carton toward him so he could put it away. When he stepped back into the kitchen, she’d raised herself onto the stainless-steel counter and was happily chowing down on sherbet that was a very unnatural color of orange.

“Couldn’t you just drink juice?” he asked.

“Not the same.”

“If you say so.” He leaned against the counter opposite hers. “You did good tonight.”

“Thanks. You did okay, too.”

He chuckled. “Gee, thanks. You still mad?”

“Not so much. Everything worked out.” She raised her head. “I’m good at my job, Cal. That’s why you hired me.”

“I know.”

“Then stay the hell out of my way. Do I come into the dining room and tell you how to fold napkins?”

“There’s more to my job than that.”

“You get my point.”

“I do and it’s well taken. The kitchen is your responsibility.”

“Except for the rats.”

“Fine. The rats are mine,” he said.

She licked her spoon. “Gloria didn’t come. I thought she might.”

“She was here last night.”

“Oh, I know.”

He frowned. “Did she bother you?”

Penny shrugged. “Was she breathing?”

“Want to talk about it?”

“Not really. She’s a cold old woman. That hasn’t changed. She didn’t exactly scare me when we were married, but I never wanted us to be best friends.”

“She’s not my favorite person.”

“That makes me sad,” Penny said.

“Why?”

“Because she’s family. Your folks are gone. She’s the last living member of a previous generation. It’s too bad she makes it so hard to love her.”

As nothing about his family situation had changed since he and Penny split up, she was dead on in her assessment.

“I think she needs to get laid,” Penny said.

Cal winced. “Tell me you’re not talking about Gloria.”

“It’s true. When do you think was the last time the old bird got any?”

“I am not going to think about that.”

“I’m not asking you to stand in the room and watch. I’m saying she’s lonely. It’s sad.”

“You’re being nicer to her than she deserves.”

“I have very little to do with her, so it’s easier for me. Although last night she really got on my nerves.”

“What did she say?”

“What did who say?” Reid asked as he and Naomi walked into the kitchen. “Dani and Hugh bugged out. They said to say good night. We’re heading home, too.”

“Thanks for coming, baby cakes,” Penny said to Reid.

He walked over and kissed her cheek. “You, too, knife girl.”

Penny laughed. “Night, Naomi. See you tomorrow.”

“Bright and early.”

Reid put his arm around her. “Early, at least. I don’t think your assistant is going to be getting any sleep tonight.”

Naomi smiled. “I like that in a man.” As she passed Cal, she patted his arm. “Want to know how many times we did it last night?”

“Not even for money.”

Reid made a fist. Cal did the same. They bumped them together.

“Later,” Reid called as they left.

When the front door of the restaurant closed, Penny grinned. “So do you think they’ll wait until they get back to his place or do you think they’ll do it in the car?”

“What is with you? You’re on a roll with the sex talk tonight.” Was she feeling an itch? He would admit to a need to scratch. After all this time, Penny could still get to him just by being in the same room. “Someone else might think you were issuing an invitation.”

She narrowed her gaze. “Don’t go there. This is my kitchen and I know where all the knives are. It’s just interesting to speculate. Okay, not about Gloria, because I don’t want to think about her naked. But with Naomi and Reid. Come on—you have to wonder. They’re both out to break the land speed record for most partners in a lifetime.”

“Doesn’t it get old after a while?”

Penny’s eyes brightened. “Are you saying sex gets boring? How interesting.”

“No. I’m saying switching partners all the time would get old. I gave up counting conquests about the time I turned twenty-two. The sex is more fun when I’m in a relationship.”

He hadn’t had any complaints about Penny. She’d been caring and responsive and just adventurous enough to keep him guessing about what was going to happen next.

“I think they both do it because they can,” she said. “I’m not sure Naomi’s ever met a guy who didn’t want her and Reid is just, well, Reid. Women flock to him.”

“Not you.”

“I know. I always saw him as a friend.”

“And after we split up?”

He’d wondered. Had his brother offered comfort?

He’d told himself it wasn’t possible. That neither of them would do that to him. Except Reid didn’t play by the rules and Penny had wanted revenge.

“Yuck,” Penny said, sounding both sincere and annoyed. “Why on earth would I sleep with your brother? It’s gross and tacky. It would be like you sleeping with Naomi.”

“No, thanks.”

“That’s my point. Besides, I wouldn’t have done that to you.”

“Why? I thought you hated my guts.”

“I did. But I didn’t want you punished.”

He thought about the angry fights, the things she’d said to him. “Could have fooled me.”

Penny put down her empty bowl. He hadn’t understood then and she doubted he would understand now, but she meant what she’d said. She didn’t want Cal punished—she’d wanted him to get it. She’d wanted him to love her enough to want to have a baby with her. She’d wanted them to be a family.

Deep in her heart, she believed he loved her but with Gloria always ready to pounce at any sign of emotional weakness, he’d been afraid to show his tender side. Leaving had been a last-ditch attempt to get him to admit that she was important to him. The plan had backfired. Instead of coming after her, he had let her go and decided that being apart permanently was the best course for both of them.

“It was three years ago,” she said. “Does it really matter now?”

“Probably not. But speaking of the past, I heard an interesting story about you the other day.”

Uh-oh. “From who?”

“Gloria.”

“Then it’s probably not true.”

“She said you’d stabbed one of your cooks when he wouldn’t do what you said.”

Penny laughed. “Actually, that is true.” She giggled at Cal’s shocked expression. “Well, sort of.”

“What happened?”

“This guy was bugging me. He didn’t like that I’d been promoted over him. You know how guys are in the kitchen. Every word is profane and it’s a giant power play. The guy had been backing me into the corner and touching me. I told him to stop it or I’d make him stop it.”

She paused as Cal stiffened. “Don’t get all macho on me. I mean it. I took care of him.”

“How?”

There was anger in that word. His hands curled into fists and he looked ready to take on the world.

His reaction was that of a man to a woman in jeopardy. She liked that he was still one of the good guys, even if he wasn’t good for her.

“I didn’t exactly have a plan. One day I was cutting up chicken. Someone called to me. I turned, just as the guy moved close. I don’t think he meant to do anything. It was a small kitchen and really crowded. Anyway, I was holding the knife and someone bumped me from behind. I fell forward, so did the knife, which slid neatly between his ribs.”

She shrugged. “I didn’t hit anything vital and even though I told the police it was an accident and everyone backed me up on that, all the guys in the kitchen thought I’d done it on purpose. Including him.”

“What happened when he came back?”

“He called me ma’am.”

Cal grinned. “Good for you. Now you have a reputation for being a tough boss.”

“Now I have a reputation for being a dangerous bitch who’ll take out your eye if you talk back to her. I like that. It makes my job easier. I wonder how Gloria heard about it?”

“She hears everything.”

“Ah. A network of spies to admire.”

Penny was suddenly aware of the quiet of the evening. Except for the guy cleaning up the dining room they were alone. It was late, she was tired and that made her vulnerable to Cal’s appeal.

Dangerous, she thought. It was past time for her to head home.

“It’s late,” he said.

“So I was just thinking.”

“You head out. I’ll lock up.”

“Okay.”

She jumped down from the counter. He moved toward her.

It was one of those moments when good sense seemed highly overrated.

“What are you thinking?” he asked.

“Nothing.”

“Liar.”

Despite the tension, she grinned. “Yeah. But I’m cute when I do it.”

They moved closer until they were almost touching. And then they were in each other’s arms, his mouth on hers.

Several things occurred to her at once, the foremost being that the man could still kiss like the devil. Even with his lips only lightly pressing hers, she felt shivers and heat and need. Second, her breasts were so exquisitely sensitive—probably from a combination of abstinence and the pregnancy—she suspected if he’d simply touch her tight nipples she would explode into orgasm.

She wanted to throw her arms around him and give in to the moment. She wanted to crawl inside of him and see how much two-become-one they could muster. But then that pesky third thought crept into her brain.

This was not a good idea.

She wanted it to be, but it wasn’t. Smart people did not get involved with their ex-husbands at work. Not even ones who were only sticking around for a few months.

She gathered every ounce of strength and stepped back.

His arms looked inviting and she wouldn’t mind more pressing her sex-starved body against his. But then what? Did she really plan to get naked with him? Ignoring the whole working together issue, the second he saw her without clothes, the secret would be out. She might be able to disguise her condition behind loose shirts at work, but in the nude, she was obviously pregnant.

Not exactly how she wanted to tell him, she thought.

“You still have it,” he said, his eyes dilated, his voice low.

“You, too.”

“Not a good idea. Mixing work and…”

She nodded. “So I guess I’ll, ah, go.”

She headed for her office where she grabbed her purse and keys. “See you in the morning.”

He walked her to the back door. “Come in later. I’ll be here at seven to check on the delivery. If there’s a problem, I’ll call. Otherwise, you get some sleep.”

The concept was too heavenly to ignore. “Thanks. You have to check the fish. Sniff it. You shouldn’t be able to smell anything.”

He smiled. “I know how to buy fish, Penny. I’ve done this before.”

“So you say.”

She hesitated, suddenly wanting something more but not sure what it was. A connection? Closure?

Whatever it was, she and Cal had already had their chance and messed it up big time. There was no going back.

TWO WEEKS LATER Cal ran the numbers a second time, then tossed the report in the air. “Damn, we’re good,” he said. They were already thirty percent above their income projections. Profits were only up eighteen percent, but that was because Penny insisted on large portions of expensive ingredients. As much as he hated to admit it, she was onto something.

Someone knocked on his open door. He glanced up, then waved in the young woman standing there.

Tina was still in street clothes, her coat and handbag over her arm. She held her punch card.

“You said you wanted to see me?” she asked.

Rather than asking her to sit, he stood, then pointed at the clock on his wall.

“Care to tell me what that says?” he asked.

“Five-fifteen.”

“Right. Your shift starts at five.”

Tina sighed heavily. “I know, but there was traffic.”

Something that happened every night, he thought. “You know the rules. No unexcused tardiness, Tina. You call and give us notice or you show up on time.”

She stared at him. “Are you kidding? You’re mad ’ cuz I’m fifteen minutes late?”

“I’m not mad. You’re not in trouble. You’re fired.”

Her mouth opened, then closed. “For fifteen minutes?”

“You were told the rules when you were hired. You had to sign a copy of them along with your application. Call if you’re going to be late or lose your job.” He bent down and picked up her paycheck. “I’ll walk you out.”

“Don’t bother.”

She jerked the check from his hand and sailed out. He heard grumbling, which he ignored, then returned to his seat. Penny walked in.

“Someone’s unhappy. One of the waiters just left in a huff.”

“Tina. She was fired.”

“For what?”

He nodded at the clock.

Penny took the chair opposite his and sighed. “I do that, too. Fire ’em for being late. You have to or no one believes you mean it. Call and let me know what’s going on, just don’t leave me hanging. I sure can’t afford to be wondering if I’m going to be shorthanded for the night.”

“So we agree.”

“About that.” She smiled. “Don’t get your hopes up. I’m here to complain.”

Why wasn’t he surprised? Penny had earned her reputation as a perfectionist. Three days ago she’d come in saying that the flowers on the table smelled too much—their scent interfered with the aromas from the food. She demanded excellence and wouldn’t accept anything less.

“What’s wrong now?” he asked.

“The wine list sucks.”

“Agreed, but I’m working on it.”

She leaned forward. In her white chef’s coat and headscarf, she looked both professional and completely feminine. An intriguing combination.

“I have a plan,” she said, her voice low.

“I’m not going to like it.”

“You don’t know that yet.” She glanced over her shoulder, as if checking to make sure no one was eavesdropping, then smiled. “Raid the wine cellar at Buchanan’s. I sent someone over to check it out and it’s fabulous.”

“I’m not cannibalizing from one of the family’s restaurants.”

“Why not? We don’t care about them. The Waterfront is what matters. Just take half of all the good stuff. The wine list here is too young. We don’t have any really expensive wines. You know how diners love to impress each other with the pricey stuff. We’re going to lose their business, along with the serious wine lovers. Come on, Cal. You have pull. You could do it.”

“I could, but I won’t. And before you start calling me names, read this.”

He took a piece of paper off his desk and handed it to her. Then he leaned back and prepared to enjoy the groveling.

She scanned the sheet, then looked at him. “What happened?”

“Two restaurants went out of business. I heard about them first and bought up their wine lists. Both were excellent. And you wanted to say what about that?”

She grinned. “You’re the best.”

“And?”

She sighed and reclined in her chair, the back of one hand to her forehead. “You’re smart and funny and I’m just so lucky to work for you. Oh, I can barely breathe from the excitement of just sitting close to you.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

She straightened. “Seriously, this is very cool. I’m impressed.”

Her compliment pleased him. She wasn’t a woman who impressed easily and she had no reason to be especially nice to him.

Things were so different now, he thought. While he’d liked being married to Penny, she hadn’t been very strong back then. He’d worried about her getting hurt. Ironically, he’d been the one to hurt her the most. Now she was tough, and he admired her ability to take charge.

If she’d been like this back then, would they have made it? Or would his secrets still have screwed up things?

Probably the latter, he thought. Penny could forgive a lot, but he doubted she would have understood why he’d been unable to risk loving another child.

Penny pulled a sheet of paper out of her pocket. “I can meet with you tomorrow morning about the group bookings. I’m open to the idea, but I want to start slow. We have to be up and running in the kitchen, with all the kinks worked out before we start feeding fifty at the same time.”

“I thought we’d start with a very forgiving crowd. The Daily Grind has an awards luncheon every year in July. We can have that here. I’ve had calls about a few other things. Two more over the summer and three in September.”

“Get me the details on everything and I’ll let you know what we can do. The summer ones are fine, and I’ll cook for the Daily Grind event as long as I can stand in the back and watch.”

“Why would you want to?”

“Professional curiosity. It’s your other life.”

Why would that interest her? “Sure.”

“But we can’t schedule anything in September.”

He frowned. “Why not?”

“I won’t be here.”

“For the whole month? You can’t do that. We’ll only have been open five months.”

“I know, but I’m still going to be gone and you can’t stop me.” She held up a hand to silence him. “This isn’t by choice, Cal. Well, technically, I guess it is. I’m not going on vacation. I’m going on maternity leave. I’m going to have a baby.”

CHAPTER SIX

CAL’S EXPRESSION DIDN’T CHANGE, but as always, his mouth gave him away. His lips thinned into a line of displeasure while a muscle in his jaw twitched.

“Congratulations.”

There was a world of anger in that single word, Penny thought, doing her best not to react. She’d known the news would throw him. The smart thing would be to give the guy a couple of minutes to get used to the idea.

“Thank you.”

“I didn’t know you were seeing someone.” His mouth tightened. She had a feeling he was thinking about their kiss.

“I’m not. There isn’t anyone in my life right now.”

“What about the baby’s father?”

“He isn’t involved.”

He looked both angry and disapproving, which really annoyed her.

“My condition doesn’t have anything to do with you,” she told him. “I’m fully capable of doing my job while pregnant. It’s been a couple of centuries since women had to disappear from public life while in a delicate condition.”

“Doing your job is the least of it.”

He stood and walked toward her. She rose so they remained eye to eye…sort of.

“You deliberately kept this information from me when I offered you the job,” he said.

“I didn’t mention it because I knew you’d freak out if you knew.”

“I’m not freaking out. I’m pissed off. How far along are you?”

“Four months.” She glared at him. “Me being pregnant doesn’t change how good I am in the kitchen.”

“As a chef, you’re on your feet for twelve hours a day. You can’t do that pregnant. How are you supposed to taste the dishes? Aren’t there certain types of fish you should avoid? What about wine?”

“I can taste both the food and the wine. One bite or one sip isn’t the issue. I’m perfectly capable and I’m doing a damn good job, so get off of me.”

He loomed over her. “You lied to me. You withheld material information. I can fire your ass for that and we both know it.”

She opened her mouth, then closed it. He had a point. If she’d been in his position and had learned an employee lied about something this big, she would escort them to the door without thinking twice.

“I’m the reason this place is successful,” she said, deliberately lowering her voice. “I do good work. Yes, you can fire me, but then what? You think this place can survive losing its chef two weeks after opening?”

She stared at him, willing him to understand. “I have this all figured out. I can do the job and be pregnant. We’re in this together, Cal. Don’t get weird on me now.”

“Don’t pretend we’re a team when you’re keeping secrets like this,” he said. “Anything else you want to spring on me?”

“No.”

“Fine. I’ll be back in a couple of hours.”

“But we’ve just opened. It’s dinner.”

“So? According to you, you have a plan. Deal with it.” Then he turned and walked out.

CAL DROVE without thinking and he wasn’t surprised when he found himself in front of Reid’s place. He tossed his keys to the valet, then stalked into the crowded bar.

What the hell was going on? Penny pregnant? He knew she’d always wanted kids—she’d made that clear enough times. But now?

He saw his brother behind the bar and waved him over. Reid spoke to one of the women serving with him, then walked out and joined Cal.

“What’s up?” he asked.

Instead of answering, Cal led the way to Reid’s office. He pushed inside, then closed the door when his brother had entered.

“You knew about the baby,” he said, making the words a statement instead of a question.

Reid looked amazingly unconcerned. “So she finally told you, huh? I warned her you wouldn’t take it well. Looks like I wasn’t wrong.”

“Not take it well? You’re right. I didn’t. What the hell happened? Did you encourage this?”

Reid frowned. “Hey, slow down. Why does it matter to you that Penny’s pregnant? You let her go a long time ago.”

“That has nothing to do with this.” He didn’t care who his ex-wife slept with, or what she did with her personal life. He was just furious that she would go and get herself pregnant.

Reid leaned against the edge of his messy desk. “Look, it’s no big deal. Penny’s been thinking about having a baby for a long time. She’s always wanted a family.”

Cal knew exactly just how long she’d been thinking about it. He didn’t even have to close his eyes to see her curled up next to him on the sofa, her hand on his thigh as she leaned close and whispered, “Let’s try again, Cal. Let’s have a baby.”

“She hit thirty and realized she’d better get going,” Reid continued.

Cal grabbed him by the front of his shirt. “Is it you? Did you sleep with her?”

His normally laid-back brother instantly stiffened. Reid’s hand covered his own in a grip that both punished and threatened.

“I’m going to give you ten seconds to take that back, then I’m going to wipe the floor with you,” Reid growled.

“What makes you think you could?”

The two men glared at each other. Reid backed off first. He released Cal and raised both hands in the air.

“No one slept with Penny,” Reid said. “It wasn’t like that.”

Cal released him. “What do you mean?”

“There’s no guy. Penny went to a sperm bank. You know, one from column A, one from column B. She picked the sperm out of a computer list. Crazy if you ask me, but she didn’t.” Reid poked him in the chest. “Why didn’t Penny tell you about the in vitro fertilization herself?”

Cal shrugged.

Reid poked him again. “You didn’t give her a chance, did you? You jumped to conclusions. Dammit, Cal, why do you always think the worst of people?”

“I don’t.”

“Sure. You’re a regular ray of sunshine. You have to trust people to do the right thing. Penny would never get involved with a guy who would abandon a child, okay?”

Cal took a step back. He didn’t know what to say to his brother. Somehow Reid had gotten right to the heart of the matter. That’s what Cal couldn’t deal with—the thought of a man walking out on his own child. Because an adult would have choices—choices he hadn’t had at seventeen.

“You’re right,” Cal said. “Good point. I, ah…thanks for explaining things.”

His brother leaned back against the desk again and folded his arms over his chest. “You’re pretty screwed up, you know that?”

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

“We all are. Thanks to Gloria.” Reid shook his head. “That bitch. The things she made us do. Always threatening us. So many damn secrets.” He looked at Cal. “Penny wants this baby. She’ll be a good mom.”

“That’s not the point.”

“Isn’t it? Are you all jacked up because of Lindsey?”

Cal stared at his brother, unable to believe what he’d just heard.

“You know?” he asked, his voice harsh with shock.

Reid nodded.

It had been seventeen years and Cal had never discussed his daughter with anyone in his family. Gloria had known—she always knew everything. While his high school girlfriend had been content to give the child up for adoption, Cal had wanted more for his daughter. He’d wanted to take care of her himself. But he’d been a senior in high school, with no way to support a kid, let alone raise one.

Then Gloria had offered. Cal could keep his child, but she, Gloria, would raise the infant.

Every fiber of his being had rebelled against that. She’d forced his hand and he’d given in to the idea of adoption.

He still remembered signing the papers. How wrong everything had felt. He’d been a few weeks shy of his eighteenth birthday—too old to cry. But he’d wanted to. He’d wanted to take the baby and run. Only the kindness of the adopting couple had allowed him to give Lindsey away.

“How did you find out about her?” Cal asked. “No one knew.”

“Maybe no one was supposed to, but Walker and I both did. We heard you arguing with Gloria about it. I don’t think Dani knows. She was pretty young.”

“You never said anything.”

“Why would we? It was your decision. Walker and I talked about what we would do if it was us. We agreed we both would have given up the kid without a second thought.”

“Easy to say when it hasn’t happened to you.”

“Maybe.” Reid shrugged. “Then it was done and we figured it was your secret to keep. If you wanted to talk, you knew where to find us.”

Reid seemed casual enough, but Cal wondered if there was more to it. A sense of betrayal that he hadn’t trusted his brothers with a decision that big.

“I was the oldest,” he said awkwardly.

“Right. Set a good example. Don’t tell your younger brothers you knocked up your girlfriend. We got that. We both became poster guys for safe sex. Don’t worry, big brother. Your experience served us well.”

Cal supposed that was something.

“How old is she now? Fifteen? Sixteen?” Reid asked.

“Seventeen. She’s a senior in high school.”

“You keep in touch with the family?”

“With the parents. They send me pictures and letters a couple of times a year. Lindsey knows she’s adopted, but isn’t interested in her birth parents.” Not that her birth mother cared. Alison had given birth, graduated and moved back east. Cal had never heard from her again and suspected she had no interest in the child she’d given away.

“I always felt bad,” Reid said. “You didn’t want to let her go.”

Now it was Cal’s turn to shrug. “I didn’t know how I could take care of her.”

“You did the right thing. You always do. It was a hell of a characteristic to have thrown in my face over and over again.”

“Thanks for not holding it against me.”

“No problem. But here’s the thing. Maybe it’s time to do the right thing for Penny. She didn’t get pregnant just to mess with your mind.”

“I’m sure she sees that as a fun bonus.”

“Maybe. But she wants this baby. You should respect that and get off her ass about it.”

His brother had a point. “I’ll think about it.”

“You do that. Want a beer?”

“No, thanks. I need to get back to the restaurant.”

He made a fist. Reid did the same, then they banged them together.

“Hang in there, big brother,” Reid said. “This isn’t your kid. You don’t have to sweat what goes on this time.”

“Yeah. Thanks.”

Cal walked out of the office and headed for the front door. When the valet had retrieved his car, Cal drove back toward the restaurant.

Too much had happened too fast, he thought. Penny being pregnant. Learning that Reid and Walker knew about his daughter.

He remembered the fights he and Gloria had had back then. How he’d screamed at her with all the fury of a seventeen-year-old being denied something precious. It was amazing everyone in the neighborhood hadn’t heard. But his brothers hadn’t said anything. They’d waited for him to go to them, and he never had.

He should have. They would have understood. Especially three and a half years ago when his marriage had been unraveling. Penny had been pressuring him to emotionally engage, to have a baby with her, to be in their marriage. He’d been holding her as far away as he could while he dealt with the horror of knowing his only daughter had been diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia.

For three months he’d waited to hear what would happen. Lindsey’s adoptive parents had kept him informed at every stage of her treatment. He remembered the agony of not knowing if the chemo would work. Wondering if his daughter was going to live or die and then the joy when Lindsey had beaten the disease.

Should he have told Penny about her? At the time he’d known he couldn’t. She would never have understood how he could care so much about a child he had with someone else and yet be unwilling to have a baby with her. He hadn’t known how to explain he was afraid of losing Lindsey all over again.

So she’d pushed for more and he’d retreated until eventually she’d walked out. Her leaving had seemed like the best thing for both of them.

He entered the restaurant and spoke with his assistant manager, then he walked to the kitchen. As always, the level of noise filled his head with shouts, the hiss of the steamer, the roar of the grill.

“Three more salmon,” one of the waiters called as he put down a tray. “The lady wants to know what you put in the sauce.”

Penny looked up, saw him and turned her attention to the waiter. “Sorry, it’s a secret. But I promise if I ever publish a cookbook, I’ll put the recipe in the first chapter.”

When the waiter left, Penny glanced at Cal. “You left during dinner.”

“I know.”

Her expression told him not to do it again, but she didn’t say the words. Penny was too good for that. She wouldn’t chew his ass in front of her staff.

But she wanted to and under the circumstances, he couldn’t blame her.

“We need to talk,” he told her. “Around ten?”

“Sure. I’ll be the one in the chef’s coat.”

BY NINE-FIFTEEN, things had quieted down. They’d worked through all their reservations and there were a few empty tables in the dining room. Cal retreated to his office to catch up on paperwork before his meeting with Penny. He wasn’t sure what he was going to say to her. He wanted to apologize for overreacting, but he couldn’t tell her about Lindsey. Not when she’d just told him she was pregnant. He wanted to make things right with her before he dropped that bombshell.

He sat at his desk, but instead of turning on his computer, he leaned back in his chair and remembered the first time Penny had told him she was pregnant. Neither of them had planned for it. Sometimes birth control failed.

He’d been stunned—first by complete happiness and then by guilt. Because he would get to keep this child. He would experience everything he’d missed with Lindsey. What if he loved his child with Penny more than Lindsey?

He hadn’t known where to get answers to his questions, or who to trust with his confusion. So he hadn’t said anything. Eventually Penny had noticed that as time went on, he seemed less and less thrilled. She couldn’t understand why he’d held back. But then she’d never held back in her life.

“Knock, knock.”

Cal turned and saw Gloria standing in the doorway to his office. He held in a groan. Yeah, right, because he needed more stress in his day.

“You’re not supposed to be here,” he told his grandmother.

Gloria swept into the small space and claimed the only other chair. “I don’t know why you think I spend my life micromanaging. Nothing could be further from the truth. I’m just here because I want to see my grandson. Is there anything wrong with that?”

There wouldn’t be, if he believed her. But he didn’t. Gloria always had a purpose and a motive.

“Fine,” he said. “If this is strictly a social visit, then you won’t have anything to say about the restaurant.”

She pressed her lips together. “I did notice a few things.”

He stared at her. She exhaled slowly.

“I won’t mention them. Although why you don’t want constructive criticism is beyond me. I would think you would want the restaurant to be the best it can be.”

“Nice try, but I’m not biting.”

“Oh, all right.” She shrugged out of her coat. “I just wanted to let you know that Daniel quit.”

He stared at her. “Who’s Daniel?”

“Daniel Langstrom. The president of the company. Honestly, Callister, can’t you even pretend interest? He wouldn’t say why he left. It’s very inconvenient. He’s the third one to leave in fifteen months. The executive searches are very expensive. Not to mention time-consuming. One would think the search firms could bring better candidates.”

“The search firms aren’t the problem, Gloria,” Cal said. “You are. You’re hell to work for.”

Gloria stiffened. “I beg your pardon. You can’t talk to me like that. It’s rude and vulgar.”

“Maybe, but it’s true. You add new intensity to the term micromanage. You’ve never met an order you didn’t want to tweak or change or countermand. You get in the way, you change your mind fifteen times a day and you make everyone around you wish they were dead.”

She paled. “That’s not true.”

“Haven’t you noticed how difficult it is for you to keep an executive assistant, let alone a company president? You drove me away years ago. Reid and Walker never even bothered to try. You need to back off or there won’t be anyone left at the company.”

“That’s ridiculous. You’re exaggerating. Regardless, I want you to take over the job as president.”

He would rather be shark bait. “No, thanks. I have a job.”

“At that coffeehouse.” She made it sound as if he sold acid milkshakes to children.

“You got it. I like it there, Gloria. I’m proud of what I do.” He stopped, reminding himself he was never going to convince her.

“This is your heritage,” she said. “You’re a Buchanan.”

“Not interested. No one is, except Dani. God knows why you haven’t been able to scare her off, but she’s still hanging on. Give her a shot.”

Gloria sniffed. “That’s impossible. She’s not one of us. Not a Buchanan. She is her mother’s daughter and I will never forgive her for that.”

“My mother had an affair nearly thirty years ago. You need to let it go.”

“Never.” Gloria’s eyes blazed with anger. “She betrayed my son. Don’t you care that she made a fool of your father?”

He wasn’t happy about it, but he found it hard to get worked up about it after all this time. “Move on,” he said. “Mom and Dad are dead.”

“But the proof of your mother’s affair lives on.”

“You might want to enter this century,” he said. “Dani is your granddaughter.”

“Never. She’s nothing. I allow her to believe she’s a Buchanan as a kindness.”

“Is that what you call it?”

When he’d graduated from college, Gloria had told him the truth—a twisted sort of present. She’d used the information to blackmail him into going into the family business.

He hadn’t wanted to be part of the empire, but she’d threatened to tell Dani she wasn’t really one of them. He’d taken that first job at Burger Heaven to make sure his sister didn’t know the truth.

Gloria glared at him. “I have been a part of this family since I was eighteen years old. I have sweated blood so that you could have this legacy. I’m the reason this family has wealth.”

“We would have been a whole lot better off if you’d simply let it go.”

She stood. “You may not care about family, but I do. Your mother destroyed my son with her lies and her deceit.”

“None of which is Dani’s fault. She’s the only one who gives a damn about the company. She’s paid her dues. She’s good at her job. So cut her a break. Move her up the food chain. Let her prove herself at Buchanan’s, or here.”

“Never.”

Cal felt like punching something, but he’d put his fist through a wall once and it hadn’t been a smart idea. “I should tell her myself,” he said, more to himself than Gloria.

“But you won’t.” His grandmother resumed her seat. “You would never hurt your sister like that.”

She was right. He wouldn’t knowingly hurt Dani. Although he was starting to wonder if not telling her was causing a different kind of pain.

“On a different subject, did you know your executive chef is pregnant?”

He swore. How had she found that out? Less surprising was her need to make trouble.

“Of course,” he said, not mentioning he’d only been told that day.

“Oh.” Gloria sounded disappointed. “Do you know who the father is?”

“Why does that matter?”

“She’s not right for you, Callister. I always thought so. I thought you’d seen it, as well.”

“My personal life isn’t your business.”

Her small eyes zeroed in on his. He knew she was wondering if he was telling her to back off because there was something between him and Penny or just on general principle.

“You never liked her,” he said. “Was it something specific about Penny or the fact that you didn’t get to handpick my wife?”

“I’m sure I would have done a better job than you did.”

That was it. Old lady or not, he’d had enough of her. He stood.

“It’s time for you to go.”

She collected her coat and rose. “Think about the president’s job,” she said. “It’s an excellent opportunity.”

“Not going to happen.”

“But, Callister…”

He walked her to the hallway, then firmly closed the door in her face.

CHAPTER SEVEN

PENNY SET OUT HER MEAL in a corner table of the dining room. The kitchen cleanup was nearly finished and while she was tired and ready to head home to bed, she was starving.

At first she’d been so angry at Cal for walking out at the start of dinner, she hadn’t been able to think about eating. Then she’d gotten busy and then the evening had been over. So she planned to make up for lost time.

She had a large plate of the batter-fried fish from her infamous fish and chips, a second plate with garlic smashed potatoes and a huge bowl of salad made with every vegetable she’d been able to dig up. There was enough to serve six or eight people, but sometimes she forgot how to cook for one.

She’d kind of thought Naomi would join her, but her friend had rushed off to warm Reid’s bed. Penny had always known they would eventually hook up and when they did, she would feel the temporary loss as her two closest friends entered a world of their own. She just hadn’t been expecting it now.

Cal walked into the dining room. She ignored him and began to fill her plate. He walked toward her.

“We had a good night,” he said.

She nodded.

“Numbers are still above projections.”

“You sound surprised,” she said.

“I am. I hope we can sustain the momentum.”

“No reason we can’t. The location is good, the food better. What’s not to like?”

He grinned. “You always did look on the bright side.”

“Beats the alternative.”

“Want company?”

She looked at him then, at the handsome lines of his face and faint curve of his mouth. He wasn’t mad anymore and neither was she. Oh, she could pretend. Given a few minutes, she could work herself into a temper, but to what end?

“Only if you’re hungry,” she said. “I made a little extra.”

“So I see.”

He sat next to her and took one of the empty plates. After filling it, he picked up a fork and took a bite of potatoes.

“Still the best,” he said.

She shrugged. “Potatoes, garlic, butter, a few spices. You’re too easy, Cal.”

“I know what I like.”

That statement had danger written all over it, so she decided to change the subject. “I saw Gloria was here earlier. Mercifully, she stayed out of my kitchen. What did she want with you?”

“She’s trying to badger me into accepting the job of president of the corporation. The third guy in fifteen months just quit.”

“If he reports directly to her, I can see why.”

“That’s what I told her. I said she had to loosen up or she was going to lose everything.”

“You’d never do it,” Penny said confidently. “You’d hate working for her and you wouldn’t want to give up your work with The Daily Grind.”

He stared at her. “How do you know that?”

“Am I wrong?”

“No.”

She smiled. “Cal, you’re a guy. Most of the time, you’re not very complex. Although there were a few times you confused the hell out of me.” She didn’t want to talk about them now. “So what’s the big deal? She should offer the job to Dani. She’d jump at the chance to run things and I think she’d do a good job.”

“That’s what I said, but Gloria won’t have any part of it.”

Typical, Penny thought. “Gloria’s always been horrible where Dani’s concerned. What’s the problem? What does she have against your sister?”

She expected Cal to brush off the question or say he didn’t know. He surprised her by putting down his fork and leaning toward her, then lowering his voice.

“She’s not a Buchanan.”

Penny couldn’t have been more surprised if Cal had morphed into a dancing squid. “Excuse me? She’s your sister.”

“Half sister. Same mother, different father. My dad was always really distant. He drank—I think having Gloria as his mother drove him to it. I don’t remember all that much about their marriage, but they never seemed happy or like other couples. At some point, she met someone else and had an affair. Dani was the result. I first found out about it when I graduated from college. I’d never guessed. None of us had.”

Penny instinctively reached for his hand and took it in her own. “That’s not possible. Of course Dani is one of you.”

“No. She’s completely different. Her looks, her personality. Also, look at how Gloria treats her. Dani thinks it’s because she’s a girl, but it’s more than that.”

Penny thought about the years she and Cal were married and interacting with the rest of the Buchanan family. Gloria was rude and difficult with everyone, but there was a special level of awfulness in her contact with Dani. It was almost…contempt.

“No,” Penny said, more to herself than Cal. “Family is everything to Dani. Being a Buchanan defines her world. The only thing she wants outside of her marriage is to run the corporation.”

“Gloria’s not going to let that happen.”

Penny squeezed his fingers. “Do Reid and Walker know?”

He nodded. “Gloria told them, then used the information to threaten them. Do what I say or I’ll tell your sister she’s not really part of this family.”

Penny’s chest tightened. “That’s awful. I never liked Gloria, but I never thought she was evil. Poor Dani. You have to tell her.”

Cal pulled his hand free and shook his head. “No way. I’m not screwing up her life.”

“Her life is already screwed. You’re keeping secrets from her, Cal. It’s not a good idea. I speak from personal experience.”

His gaze dropped to her belly. Without her white coat, her condition was fairly visible. While she doubted he’d noticed her breasts were larger than usual, there was no way he could miss the distinct roundness of her belly.

“I can’t tell her. It would hurt too much,” he said.

“It’s going to hurt more when she finds out another way.”

He bit into a piece of fish. She recognized the stubborn set of his mouth and sighed. Fine. She couldn’t make him tell Dani, but she could keep on him until he caved.

“I will say this,” she told him. “Talking about your family always makes me appreciate my own a lot more.”

“How are your folks?” he asked.

“Good. My dad is still busy with the dealership and making both his sons-in-law sweat about who is going to be left in charge.”

“Do they know?” he asked, glancing at her midsection.

She touched her stomach. “Yes. I told them about the baby. Actually I told them when I started thinking about getting pregnant. Mom wanted me to wait to get married, but it wasn’t a big argument. They’ve stopped expecting me to be conventional.”

“Because you didn’t decide to be a stay-at-home mom like Emily and Julie?”

She nodded. Both her sisters had married within two years of finishing high school. Penny had never seen the point of hooking up with a guy, then locking herself in a house and popping out babies. Of course she’d never planned on being a single mom, either.

“I’ve made my way in a man’s world,” she said brightly. “As soon as word gets out about the baby, everyone will be really nice to me and if they’re not, I’ll have Naomi to protect me.”

He glanced around the empty restaurant. “She’s with Reid tonight?”

“That’s my guess. I’m sure they’re off having hot monkey sex even as we speak.”

Cal grimaced. “Don’t go there. It’s not an image either of us want in our brains.”

She grinned. “You have a point. Naomi is far more sexual than anyone I’ve ever known.”

“Tell me about it. That time she walked in on us, I was sure she was going to offer to join in.”

Penny laughed. “If we hadn’t been married, I think she might have. Later she told me you were much more impressive naked than she’d ever suspected.”

“Great. Not something I needed to know.”

“But Naomi is practically a legend,” she teased. “Don’t you want to know what all the fuss is about?”

“No.”

“But, Cal…”

He glared at her. “I’m not interested in having sex with your best friend. Okay?”

“Fine. It’s your loss.”

“If you want details, ask Reid. I’m sure he’ll share.”

“No, thanks.” Penny enjoyed teasing Cal about Naomi, but she didn’t actually want to know what her friend was like in bed. That would just be too weird.

“So if you’re not interested in Naomi,” she said, “who are you interested in?”

“Asking about my love life?”

“Uh-huh.” She suspected there wasn’t anyone right now. Cal wasn’t the type to have kissed her if he’d been involved.

“I’m between women. And you?”

“You talked to Reid,” she said, knowing it was the only place he could have disappeared to so he could get answers. “You know there isn’t anyone.”

“That’s why you chose in vitro?”

“Sure. I got tired of waiting for Mr. Right to show up. Apparently his flight was delayed or he married someone else by mistake.”

Cal didn’t like the sound of that. Once he’d been her Mr. Right. Of course, that had changed when their marriage had ended.

“Is that what you want?” he asked. “A traditional marriage?”

“Sure. Being a single mom was never part of my master plan. I’m not afraid to do it on my own, but I would have preferred to be part of something more. Still, I can do this.”

Penny had always been stubborn about achieving her goals. He didn’t doubt her for a second.

“You said September. When?”

“The twelfth. I have the advantage of knowing the actual day I got pregnant.”

“Are you okay in the kitchen?”

“Sure. I’ll need to sit a little more after my seventh month, but I can still handle things. The pregnancy is one of the reasons I wanted Naomi with me. She’ll help pick up the slack. I’m going to take a short maternity leave, then come back after three weeks.”

That surprised him. “Don’t you want to stay home longer with the baby?”

“I’m bringing the baby to work with me. Why do you think I took the larger office?”

A baby? Here? “You can’t.”

“Really? Why not?”

He stared at her and couldn’t think of a single reason.

“That’s my point,” she said. “Why can’t I bring in the baby? At least for the first few months. I’m going to be breastfeeding, so I’ll need the baby around. I’ve already lined up a fabulous nanny. She looks like Mrs. Claus. By the time my son or daughter is ready for preschool, I’ll have my own restaurant.”

She’d always been a planner. “The kid’s going to know what a sauté pan is before he or she can walk.”

“I hope so.”

He ate a forkful of potatoes. Four months along. No wonder her breasts were larger. He held in a grin. Penny would accuse him of being a typical guy for noticing that first.

There would be other changes, he thought, remembering the first time she’d been pregnant. They’d both been so excited. Scared, but happy. Then the guilt had set in and he hadn’t known how to handle it.

Telling her about Lindsey made the most sense, but he’d never found the right time or the right words. He’d distanced himself from Penny and the baby growing inside of her. He’d done his best to ignore her increasing size until one day she’d called in tears, her voice thick with terror.

“You were about four months along before,” he said, not sure if he should mention the past.

She put more salad on her plate. “I know. I’ve been thinking about that. My doctor says what happened then was just one of those things. There was probably something wrong with the baby, which was why I lost it. She swears I’m perfectly healthy and there’s no reason to think I’ll lose this one.”

“Are you past the date…?”

“In two weeks.”

He didn’t have to ask if she was worried. He could see it in her eyes.

Before, she’d been devastated. He remembered holding her as she sobbed for the tiny life lost. He’d felt both stricken and relieved. He wasn’t going to have to choose who he would love more—Lindsey or the new baby. But Penny’s pain had been too big for her to contain and she’d been inconsolable.

Time had healed, as it always did. Eight months later she’d said they should try again and he’d told her he didn’t want children. It had been easier than telling her the truth. That he couldn’t deal with one more loss—not with Lindsey battling leukemia.

“We used to do this all the time,” Penny said. “Stay up late and talk while the rest of the world went to bed.”

“Restaurant hours,” he said. “The world is a different place at night.”

“I always used to feel sorry for those poor people who had to get up early. I liked staying awake until two or three in the morning. Of course, back then I didn’t have to be here to check on deliveries and plan my specials for the day.”

He glanced at the still-full serving dishes. “Want to take that home with you?”

“Of course. I’ll have it for breakfast.”

“Fish? That’s disgusting.”

“My fish, big guy. And it’s delicious.”

“Have it.”

He stood and walked into the kitchen to collect togo containers. After she’d scooped everything off the various plates and bowls, they carried the dirty dishes back into the kitchen, then grabbed their coats.

“You need anything?” he asked as he locked the back door and escorted her to her car.

She looked at him. “Oh, great. I told you I was pregnant and you’re going to get all mental, aren’t you?”

“If mental means worrying about you, then yes.”

She paused by her Volvo and leaned against the driver’s door. “Not your responsibility.”

“You’re on my staff.”

“You wouldn’t be this concerned if your hostess turned up pregnant.”

“I didn’t used to be married to my hostess.”

“As she’s barely eighteen, that would have caused talk.”

He knew what Penny meant. She was all grown up and didn’t need anyone to take care of her. Funny how her independence was so appealing. Before she’d needed so much—and now she didn’t.

The lights from the parking lot brought out the red in her hair. Her blue eyes looked black and mysterious. Her skin seemed lit from within.

“Pregnancy agrees with you,” he murmured.

“Don’t you dare sweet-talk me. I’m immune.”

The challenge made him smile. “Really?”

“Oh, yeah.”

After that, he didn’t have much choice. He bent down and brushed his mouth against hers.

He half expected her to pull back. Instead she slipped her hands inside his open coat and rested them on his waist. He leaned closer and put the bag of leftovers on the roof of her car, then cupped her face in his hands.

She tilted her head in a silent invitation he had no desire to ignore. Even as he lightly touched his tongue to her bottom lip, she parted for him. He slipped into her mouth and found himself in a sensual paradise he remembered all too well.

She was soft and hot and sweet. Need heated his blood before racing south and making him hard. The wanting increased as he swept his tongue against hers and she shuddered in response.

The fingers at his waist tightened. He heard her moan low in her throat, then the light pressure of her belly and her breasts as she leaned into him. He dropped his hands to her shoulders and squeezed.

The kiss went on until he felt her melting in his embrace. He’d made love with her enough times to know what the quickened breathing meant and to read the invitation in the way she struggled to get even closer. He was hard and getting harder, which didn’t seem possible. She was willing, and neither of them were involved.

“Cal,” she breathed, pulling back slightly from the kiss.

He slid his hands from her shoulders to her chest, then to her heavy, full breasts.

Her nipples were already hard. He brushed them with his fingers and she groaned. Her eyes slowly closed, her body swayed.

“Don’t stop,” she whispered. “Oh, yeah. Just like that.”

He rubbed his thumbs and forefingers against her nipples, teasing them until her breath caught. Her eyes opened.

“You were always really good at that,” she whispered.

“I spent most of my teenaged years practicing through visualization.”

She smiled and covered his hands with hers. “There are about fifty reasons why this is a bad idea.”

He shifted so he could cover her whole breast, then lightly kissed her mouth. “Give me five.”

“I work with you. Fraternizing with the staff is never smart.”

He kissed her again. “Is that one or two reasons?” he asked against her mouth.

She bit down on his lower lip, which made his erection pulse painfully.

“Two.”

“Okay, three more.”

“I’m your ex-wife. Do you really want to go there with me?”

She probably had a point, but right now he didn’t care about anything but getting them both naked and easing the ache.

“I’m also pregnant with another man’s child,” she said, her voice shaky as he dropped his hands to her hips and slid them around so he could cup her ass.

“You being pregnant just means we get to be more creative,” he breathed into her ear before nibbling on her lobe and making her squirm.

“We’re standing on a parking lot your grandmother owns, there’s a question about your sister’s paternity, my two best friends are sleeping together and one of them happens to be your brother.”

He got the message, even though he wanted to ignore it. Parts of him were very insistent that talking was highly overrated and that they should just get to the naked part. But the mature, intelligent part of him was bigger, and slightly more in charge. He dropped his hands and took a step back.

“You’re saying there are complications,” he said.

She laughed. “You think?”

He smiled. “You have a point.” And of all of them, her being his ex-wife and them not going there made the most sense.

It was strange. Two months ago, he’d never given Penny a thought. Now she was back in his life, if only temporarily, and he was—for the moment at least—interested in getting her into his bed. What did that mean?

Okay, part of what it meant was that he hadn’t had any for a while, but part of it was about Penny. He liked who she’d become and he’d always enjoyed her in bed.

“I’m tempted,” she said, raising herself on tiptoe and lightly kissing him. “Very tempted.”

“Good.”

He stepped back as she climbed into her car. After passing her the leftovers, he waited until she’d driven off before getting into his own car and heading home.

The streets were empty, the drive quick. Good news, because he didn’t want too much time to think. Not about Penny or wanting her, or Lindsey or even Dani. He wanted to clear his mind and fall into bed. Tomorrow he would have more answers. Tomorrow—

Cal rounded the corner and saw his house. There were several lights on in the windows and a strange car parked in front. As both Reid and Dani had a key, he figured it could be either one of them. Not Reid, he thought, hoping his brother hadn’t brought Naomi over so they could do it in a new location. His cleaning service had just changed the sheets.

But when he pulled into the garage, the door to the house opened. The man standing there was tall and muscled, with a military-short haircut. Cal grinned.

“Walker,” he called as he got out of his Z4. “When did you get home?”

“About three hours ago. I picked up a rental car at the airport and drove here. Hope you don’t mind me crashing at your place for a few days.”

“Stay as long as you like.”

They hugged, then walked into the house. Cal led the way to the kitchen and saw the bottle of Scotch already on the counter.

He grinned at his younger brother. “Just like I raised you.”

Walker picked up the bottle and poured his brother a glass. After handing it over, he picked up his own. “You always did keep the good stuff around. I respect that.”

They toasted each other silently, then moved into the living room. As always, Walker took the club chair that faced the door and allowed him to sit with his back to the corner of the room.

Cal studied his brother. There were no new visible scars, which was good. Walker looked tired and there was something in his eyes. He’d seen things, done things. It came with a career in the marines.

While Cal had taken a job in the family business after college, both Walker and Reid had escaped. Reid had lived and breathed baseball—when he wasn’t living and breathing women—and had never looked back until he’d blown out his shoulder last year.

Walker had gone from his high school graduation straight to the marine recruitment center. He’d shipped out a few weeks after that. Gloria had been furious—not only had she lost another Buchanan, but Walker hadn’t gone to college first. He’d entered the military as a grunt.

“How are you?” Cal asked after they both had a chance to sip the Scotch and appreciate the fire Walker had expertly built.

“Good.”

“You seeing much action?”

“Some.”

Walker had spent much of his past tour in Afghanistan. He sent regular e-mails that didn’t say much more than he was fine. There were no details about his day or his assignments.

“How about you?” Walker asked. “You said you’d taken over The Waterfront.”

“Only for four months. The place was such a disaster, Gloria closed it.”

“Then called you in to rescue her.”

Cal shrugged. “It’s four months,” he repeated. “Then I go back to The Daily Grind.”

“Dani and Reid okay?”

Cal nodded. “Dani’s still frustrated because Gloria won’t let her leave Burger Heaven. Reid’s settling into The Downtown Sports Bar. He’s popular, which brings in the customers.”

“All the waitresses still built and nearly naked?”

“You know Reid.”

Walker grinned. “I’ll have to stop by.”

“We should all meet there. How long’s your leave?”

Walker sipped his drink, then put it on the side table and leaned forward. “I left the corps.”

Cal stared at him. “Retired?”

“It’s been fourteen years, so that’s what they’re calling it.”

Cal couldn’t imagine his brother doing anything else. “Why?”

Walker shrugged. “It was time.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I’m not sure. I thought I’d stay here for a few days, then go get my own place.”

“Sure. Stay as long as you like. I’m working twelve, fifteen hours a day, so I’m never here. And my love life sucks, so you won’t get in the way of that.”

Walker picked up his drink. “Not seeing anyone?”

“Not in a while.” He thought of the kiss he’d shared with Penny and decided that didn’t count. If he couldn’t explain it to himself, he sure as hell wouldn’t be able to explain it to Walker.

“I thought you’d be in until they kicked you out,” Cal said. “Are you all right?”

“Fine.”

Cal wasn’t sure he believed him. There was something about Walker’s eyes—something dark.

“Want to talk about it?” he asked.

Walker looked at him. “Have I ever?”

“No. Want to get drunk?”

Walker grinned. “I wouldn’t say no.”

“Good. I’ll call Reid.”

“Won’t you be interrupting?”

He thought about Reid and Naomi. “Probably,” he said cheerfully. “But why shouldn’t he suffer, too?”

CHAPTER EIGHT

“I WANT TO SAY it’s the salt,” Penny said as she picked through the bowl of nuts and fished out the hazelnuts. “But I think it’s more than that. If it was just about salt, then any nut would do. The craving is very specific.”

She glanced up to see Reid shudder.

“What?” she asked, holding in a laugh. “You don’t want to hear about my cravings?”

“Not especially. Some of them have grossed me out.”

“This from a guy who used to spit on national television.”

Reid wiped another glass and set it behind the bar. “I never spit.”

“All baseball players spit.”

“Some don’t.”

“What is up with that, anyway? Why all the spitting? Don’t the mothers call and say it’s disgusting? Because it is. Yuck.” She touched her stomach. “Okay, change of subject. I’m making myself queasy.”

“Fine by me.”

Lucy came out of the kitchen and walked toward the bar. “Here you go, hon.”

Penny took the large root beer float and sighed. “You’re a goddess. Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me. I just turned in the order.” Lucy looked at her boss. “Want anything?”

“Not right now. Thanks.”

Lucy smiled and walked toward the lone table of customers in the bar.

It was three—that quiet time between lunch and happy hour. Penny knew she had to get back to The Waterfront fairly soon, but she fully intended to indulge herself first.

While Reid watched and pretended to gag, she dumped the hazelnuts into the float, then dug in with a spoon. The combination of cold, fizzy liquid, smooth, melting ice cream and crunchy, salty nut was pure heaven.

“You’re just jealous,” she said after she swallowed, “because you didn’t think of this combination.”

“Uh-huh. That’s me. Jealous.” He leaned back and folded his arms over his chest. “You seen Walker yet?”

“No, and I can’t wait to. I was so surprised when Cal told me he’d left the marines. I didn’t think that would ever happen.” She glanced around the empty bar. “Is he coming here?”

“At some point. You sure are happy about him being home.”

She grinned. “I am. And don’t worry. I’ll never love Walker the way I love you,” she teased.

“Like I care about that.”

He probably didn’t. She and Reid had been friends too long for him to sweat she would ever leave him. Sometimes she thought that she and Dani were the only consistent females in his life.

“Your real problem is Naomi,” she said as she scooped another spoonful of ice cream. “She’s never met Walker. You know how women fall for guys in the military.”

“It’s very possible she’ll be interested.”

She glanced at Reid. “That’s it? You don’t care if the woman you’re currently sleeping with wants to move on to someone else?”

“Naomi and I understand each other. We have a good time together.” He grinned. “A very good time.”

She winced. “I don’t want details.”

“Your friend is very—”

“Stop!”

He chuckled. “Okay. I’ll play nice. Naomi and I are the same. We want to be involved as long as it’s good. When it stops being fun, or one party loses interest, it’s time to move on.”

She’d seen them in action long enough to believe he was telling the truth. But seeing and believing weren’t the same as understanding.

“Don’t you ever want something more familiar?” she asked.

“Why? Variety keeps things interesting.”

“For a while, but people are hard-wired to pair bond.”

“Cal always said I had a screw loose.”

She stuck a straw into her float. “Reid, I’m serious. I worry about you. Doesn’t the series of one-night stands get old? Don’t you ever want to settle down?”

“No. Not even a little. Look around, Penny.” He waved at the bar. “I can have a different woman every night of the week. No one expects me to show up at a certain time, eat dinner and then watch TV. I can come and go as I please, my life is always interesting. Why would I trade that in for one woman, a couple of kids and a mortgage?”

“Because you fell in love.” It was a familiar discussion, but no matter how many times they had it, she never understood. “Don’t you want to be a part of something? Don’t you want to leave your mark on the world?”

“I’ll be in the history books.”

“Not because you were a great pitcher. Because you cared about someone. Because you—” She stopped. “Sorry. I know we agreed not to talk about this anymore. We always fight.”

He stepped toward her and briefly touched her cheek. “We don’t fight. You get upset because I don’t want what you think I should have.”

“I worry about you. I don’t want you to grow old alone, with no one to care about you.”

“I’m okay with that.”

Was he? How was that possible? While his lifestyle might sound fun to the average eighteen-yearold guy, she couldn’t help thinking that in the bright light of morning, it wasn’t all Reid made it out to be. But maybe that was just wishful thinking on her part.

None of the Buchanan men had been very successful at love. Only Dani had a happy, stable relationship, and she wasn’t even a Buchanan. A fact Penny still had trouble comprehending.

“How’s Junior?” Reid asked.

She suspected he was trying to change the subject and she figured that was probably a good idea.

“Good. I’m having a textbook pregnancy, although I still manage to freak out about everything.” She put her hand on her growing stomach.

“How much longer?” he asked, his eyes dark with concern.

“A week,” she said. “I know that crossing the date where I lost the baby before doesn’t mean anything, but it still feels like I’ll be able to relax a little once it happens.”

“It makes sense,” he said gently. “You want to break the streak.”

He was right.

“I keep telling myself I’m fine. The doctor says the same thing.”

“You’ll believe it when it happens,” he told her. “So what’s going on with my brother?”

She sipped on her float. “What do you mean? Cal’s fine.”

“He came in here ready to tear off one of my arms when he found out you were pregnant. He wanted to know all about the guy.”

Penny felt her cheeks heat and she was careful to focus all of her attention on the tall glass in front of her. “I doubt he was that upset.”

“You weren’t here. He wanted to beat the crap out of me.”

Unable to help herself, she looked at Reid. “I know that’s not true.”

“It may be an exaggeration, but there’s something going on.”

She thought about their last encounter. Their last, very personal, encounter. Funny how three years ago she’d been so angry and so hurt, she’d never wanted anything to do with Cal. But now…

“We work together,” she said. “We’re becoming friends.”

“Then why are you blushing?”

Guilt made her cheeks heat even more. “I’m not. It’s just…”

Reid waited patiently.

“It’s just…” She repeated, then sighed. “I can’t explain it. We’re getting along. It’s nice. We seem to appreciate each other now in a way we couldn’t before.” She held up a hand before he could say anything. “I mean that in a nonromantic sense. We’re different people. It’s as if the stuff I really hated about him is gone and only the good stuff remains. Or maybe I’m the one who changed.”

“Sounds like a lot of hooey to me,” Reid told her. “You’re not falling for him, are you?”

“What? Of course not. I’m pregnant.”

“How do those two concepts relate?”

“I’m only thinking about the baby. Cal doesn’t want children.”

Something flickered in Reid’s eyes. “He might. Like you said, he’s different.”

“Not interested, even if it is true,” Penny said. “I don’t need a man in my life.”

“So why are you all fired up to get me a woman?” he asked.

“I’ve committed to people in the past. You never have.”

“I’m committed to my family.”

True enough. He’d also committed to baseball, but she didn’t want to go there. She’d seen the pain in his eyes when the games came on television.

“I find it very interesting that you and Cal are getting along so well now,” he told her. “And that neither of you were interested in getting serious while you were divorced.”

Penny did her best to look innocent. “Really? Cal didn’t have any long-term relationships?”

“No. There were a few women, but nothing that mattered.”

“A few? How many?”

Reid grinned. “Why do you care?”

“I don’t. I’m curious.” More than curious. What women? Who had Cal dated?

“Sorry,” Reid said. “I don’t tell on my brothers. Not even for you.” He looked toward the front door. “Hey. What’s up?”

Penny turned and saw Dani walk into the bar.

She claimed the seat next to Penny. “Hi. How’s it going?” She peered at Penny’s float. “What is that?”

“A root beer float with hazelnuts.”

Dani winced. “Does that fall under the craving category?”

“Nope,” Reid told her. “It’s just plain gross.”

“Men don’t appreciate these sorts of things,” Penny said.

“I’m not sure I appreciate them either,” Dani told her. “How are you feeling?”

“Good. Getting a tummy.” She tugged at her sweater to show off her bump.

Dani eyed her stomach, then looked at Reid. “Can I get a Diet Coke?”

“Sure. Want anything to eat?”

“No, thanks. I just need the caffeine.”

“Busy day?” he asked as he handed her the glass of soda.

“Oh, yeah. Lunch was standing room only.”

She didn’t sound very happy about the fact, but Penny couldn’t blame her. Dani had only ever wanted to be successful in the family business and Gloria had stood in her way at every turn.

She remembered what Cal had told her, about Gloria threatening to tell Dani the truth about her father if he didn’t toe the line. Penny knew it wasn’t for her to decide, but a part of her thought it would be better if Dani knew the real reason Gloria wasn’t on her side.

She looked at her former sister-in-law. Dani was short, with light-brown hair and hazel eyes. Her features were more delicate than her brothers’ and completely feminine. She looked enough like them that no one would ever guess the truth, yet there was much that was different.

Her lighter coloring, her petite build. Dani wore her hair in a short, stylish bob. Her tailored slacks and cropped jacket suited her slender body. Looking at her, Penny felt like a cumbersome giant.

Dani sipped on her drink, then smiled at Reid. “I’m going to change the subject to something very girly that will probably make you uncomfortable.”

He instantly took a step back. “Thanks for the heads-up. You two have fun.” He quickly moved to the other end of the bar.

“Men are so predictable,” Dani said. “I really like that about them.”

“It does help. What’s up?”

“I wanted to talk to you about the in vitro fertilization you went through. Not now,” she added. “But would you be comfortable talking to me about it at some point?”

“Sure. You can ask me anything you’d like. Are you thinking of doing that yourself?” she asked, not sure if she was treading in dangerous territory.

Dani nodded. “Because of his injury, there are some things Hugh can’t do and that’s one of them.” She wrinkled her nose. “We do other stuff you probably don’t want to hear about.”

Penny grinned. “I’d like to be drunk first and I can’t drink right now.”

Dani laughed. “Fair enough. Anyway, that’s in our future, so I thought if you wouldn’t mind telling me about it, that would be great.”

“Sure. I’ll give you the name of my doctor, too. She’s fabulous. Very easy to deal with and completely understanding of the panic that goes with the whole process.”

“It’s expensive, right?”

“Oh, yeah. The cost seriously cut into my ‘open my own restaurant’ fund, but I knew I wanted a baby before my eggs turned to raisins.”

“Good plan.”

Penny fished out another hazelnut. “You have a few years before you have to worry about the eggs to raisins thing.”

“Not that many.” Dani rubbed her fingers against her glass. “Why didn’t you…” She glanced over her shoulder as if checking to make sure Reid was still at the other end of the bar. She lowered her voice. “Why IVF? You could have picked some guy to sleep with you. It would have been cheaper.”

“The very question my mother asked me,” Penny admitted, remembering her parents’ distress when she’d first told them what she wanted to do. “But with IVF I could get more information about the father’s family, see how the various traits looked, that sort of thing.” She thought for a second.

“I didn’t want the hassle,” she admitted. “I didn’t want to risk the father coming back to lay claim on his child.”

“You could have had him sign papers,” Dani said.

“Sure, but he could change his mind. What if in ten years he came back and said he wanted some visitation? I didn’t know how the courts would rule and I didn’t want to deal with it.”

“What about Reid?” Dani asked. “He wouldn’t have come back for visitation rights.”

Penny stiffened. “Sleep with my ex-husband’s brother? No, thanks. Talk about a giant ick.”

“Is that how you think of him? As Cal’s brother?”

“Only when someone talks about us having sex. And I believe he’d agree with me on that.”

Dani laughed. “Okay. Fair enough. Hugh and I talked about waiting a couple of years to get our lives in order before we started a family. He’s doing well at the university and I’m…” She sighed. “Anyway, I think this might be a good time. Maybe having a baby would distract me from other things.”

Penny touched her arm. “You mean being stuck at Burger Heaven?”

“Yeah. Gloria’s driven away the third president in about fifteen months. The thing is, I’m willing to deal with her. But does she ask me? Does she even give me a chance? I’m not saying I should run the company, but there has to be another way for me to contribute.”

“Like running The Waterfront?” Penny said, feeling sympathetic.

“Not to take away from Cal, but yeah. I could have done it.”

Penny smiled. “He’s only there for four months. Why don’t you start a campaign now to take over when he’s gone?”

Dani’s eyes widened. “But you’re the chef there—we used to be related. Wouldn’t you be more comfortable with someone else as general manager?”

“I think we’d work well together,” she said. “I know you’d do a terrific job.”

“Really? Wow. That’s great. Maybe I’ll talk to Cal and see what he thinks.”

“Cal will think it’s a fabulous idea,” Penny said. The real problem was going to be Gloria.

“Then I’ll start campaigning,” Dani said. “I swear if I didn’t need the incredible medical insurance for Hugh I would have quit Burger Heaven years ago. As soon as he gets tenure, I’m leaving the company. Well, unless I’m running The Waterfront.”

“So you have a plan.”

“Pretty much.” Dani sipped her drink, then put the glass on the bar. “I know it’s none of my business, but how are you and Cal working together?”

“We’re doing really well.” Penny shrugged. “I guess we had to get divorced and spend three years apart before we could become friends. How twisted is that?”

“I’m not sure. It’s just too bad you couldn’t work things out before.”

Penny nodded as if she thought so, too, but it wasn’t true. There was no way she and Cal could have remained married. Not when he’d broken her heart so completely.

Before getting married, they’d agreed to have children. The only fight had been over how many—three or four. When she’d first gotten pregnant, he’d been as delighted as she. They’d held on to each other, excited, scared and determined to do the best for their baby.

Over time, Cal had changed. By her fourth month, she’d started to wonder if he wanted children with her at all. He wouldn’t talk about the baby or even come with her to the doctor. And then she’d miscarried.

The first cramps had terrified her. She’d rushed to her doctor, but by the time she made it to the examining room, it was all over.

Cal had said all the right things, he held her while she cried, but she hadn’t believed him. In some ways, he’d seemed more relieved than sad.

She’d told herself it was wrong to judge him—that people expressed grief in different ways. But her suspicions had been confirmed a few months later when she’d suggested they try again.

She still remembered how he’d sat at the other end of the sofa, staring at the wall rather than looking at her. He’d told her flat out he didn’t want children. Not now, not ever. And he wouldn’t say what had changed his mind.

Wondering if he still loved her, she’d done all she could to get his attention. But somehow he slipped further and further away until she couldn’t reach his heart. In a last-ditch effort to get him to admit he still cared, she’d left. Her hope had been he would come after her and beg her to return. Instead he’d told her it was for the best.

CAL RAN THE TOTALS for the day. They were still ahead of projections and the reservations showed no signs of slowing. He wanted to claim the new dining room or advertising was responsible, but he knew it was a whole lot more about Penny’s menu.

“Got any leftovers?”

He glanced up and saw Walker in the doorway to his office. “Sure. I’ll have Penny get you something.”

He buzzed the kitchen. Naomi picked up.

“Why are you calling?” she asked by way of greeting. “Because you’re too important to walk the twenty or thirty feet from your office to the kitchen?”

“Exactly. Ask Penny to come out, would you?”

“It’s not like she works for you,” Naomi said.

“You might want to check the contract. She does and you do, too.”

“Oh, fine. Throw your authority around. Penny. You’ve been summoned.”

The phone went dead. Cal looked back at his brother. “She’ll be right out.”

The door to the kitchen opened. Penny walked out, a dishtowel in her hand. “You’re buzzing me?” she asked as she turned toward his office. “There’s nothing in the contract about buzzing—”

She broke off when she saw Walker. Her face lit up, her mouth curved in a wide, open smile and she ran as if being chased by wolves.

“Walker! You’re back!”

She launched herself at him with the confidence of a woman who knows she’s going to be caught. Walker grinned and wrapped his arms round her.

“Hey, Penny,” he said and leaned his head toward hers.

She did the same, so their foreheads touched. “You’re back. My favorite ever marine is back.”

Cal knew that Penny adored his brothers. She claimed it was because she grew up with two sisters and was desperate for some male point of view in her life.

Until that moment, Cal hadn’t cared one way or the other. But right then, watching Walker turn in a slow circle, Penny in his arms, her feet kicking behind her, he felt a definite need to growl.

He told himself he didn’t give a damn what Penny did in her personal life. She wasn’t his wife anymore. One or two kisses didn’t give him any rights, and he didn’t want any. He even told himself that Walker would never be interested in his ex-sister-in-law. But that didn’t take away the feeling of discomfort low in his gut.

Walker lowered Penny to the floor. She beamed at him. “Cal said you’re out of the marines. Are you really? For good?”

“It was time.”

“Yeah. I get to see you more. Okay, you have to come taste some stuff. I have the best fish and chips. You’ll die. And then you’ll beg me to tell you what’s in the recipe, but I won’t.”

Just then the kitchen doors opened and Naomi strolled out. She was dressed in black jeans and a tight red sweater that set off her long, wavy dark hair. She looked like a sexy Amazon on the prowl. Cal watched her gaze settle on Walker and gave his brother maybe thirty more seconds of freedom before Naomi claimed him.

“So this is Walker,” she said as she approached. “I’ve heard a lot about you but I was starting to think everyone had made you up.”

Penny sighed. “Oh, great. Another conquest. Walker, this is my friend, Naomi. Naomi, Walker. Be gentle, though. He’s just out of the marines.”

Cal held in a laugh at the thought of Penny trying to protect his tough baby brother. Then he wondered what Reid would think to know he’d been replaced.

“Ma’am,” Walker said, releasing Penny and offering his hand.

Naomi winced. “If you call me ma’am again, I’m going to have to take you down.”

“All right. Naomi.”

“Much better.”

Cal moved closer to watch the show.

Naomi looked Walker over. “If you’re just back from overseas, you might want someone to show you how Seattle has changed. I’d be more than willing.”

“I appreciate the offer, but I understand you’re seeing my brother.”

“Reid?” Naomi shrugged. “I was. But you know Reid. Fifteen minutes is about his attention span.”

“You don’t seem too broken up about it.”

She smiled. “That’s because my attention span is two minutes shorter. No bruised hearts. I’m not into getting serious, just getting involved.”

The invitation was clear. Cal had to admit that Naomi embodied sexual availability in a way that called to men.

Penny looked between them. “Whatever you decide, I still expect you to eat dinner with me, Walker,” she said.

“I wouldn’t do anything else,” he said, tugging on her long braid.

“Please have something to eat.” Naomi sighed. “You’ll need your strength.”

Walker looked at Naomi for a long time. “I appreciate the offer,” he began.

Her eyes widened. “You’re turning me down?”

“How about if I take a rain check?”

Cal braced himself for the explosion. To the best of his knowledge, no one had ever turned Naomi down. Then she surprised him by laughing.

“Your loss, soldier. If you change your mind, and you will, Penny has my number.”

She strolled back into the kitchen. Walker watched her go.

“Interesting lady,” he said.

“That’s the rumor,” Penny told him. “Are you really not interested, or are you playing hard to get so you can have her full attention?”

Walker’s expression shuttered. “I don’t play games.”

“Ha! It’s hard-wired into your gender. Okay, go find a seat. I’ll bring out food.”

“I don’t get to pick what I want?”

“Oh, please. On what planet?” She glanced at Cal. “Are you hungry? I can get another plate together.”

“Thanks.”

She returned to the kitchen and Walker looked at him. “Yours?”

Cal figured he meant the baby. “She would be my ex-wife.”

“You wanted to punch me out when she launched herself at me.”

Cal didn’t see how Walker could have known what he was thinking. He would have bet money it hadn’t shown. “No idea what you’re talking about.”

“Right. So you just hired your ex-wife because she’s a great chef?”

“Have you forgotten the year she cooked our Christmas dinner?”

“Good point. So how’s it going?”

“Good. Better than I would have thought.”

“And the baby?”

“She decided it was time. Went to a sperm bank. There’s no guy.”

Walker’s dark gaze locked with his. “Lucky break.”

THE THREE OF THEM SAT at one of the tables by the kitchen. Penny served two different salads, her famous fish and chips, a poached salmon dish, smashed potatoes, green beans with a mustard sauce and she promised something special for dessert, although she wouldn’t say what.

“Do you have any idea what you’re going to do now?” Penny asked after all three plates were full.

“Get my own place,” Walker said. He looked at Cal. “Not that I don’t love living with you.”

Cal chuckled. “You’re welcome to stay as long as you like.”

“I appreciate that, but I want my own place. An apartment at first. Until I figure out where I want to live.”

“Are you rich?” Penny asked.

Cal and Walker both looked at her.

“What?” she asked. “It’s a serious question. I’m curious. Didn’t you invest in The Daily Grind?” she asked Walker.

“Uh-huh. Cleaned out my savings account for my big brother.”

“And you made a fortune,” Cal reminded him.

Five years ago Reid had been on his second multimillion-dollar contract and had offered to bankroll the whole thing. Cal had refused and instead had taken on multiple investors. Walker had been one of them.

“I did okay,” Walker said, then shrugged. “I don’t have to go to work anytime soon.”

“Will you get a job?” Penny asked.

Walker nodded.

Cal figured he had to. Walker wasn’t the kind of guy who enjoyed sitting around doing nothing.

“But first I have to find someone,” Walker said.

“Who?” Penny asked.

“A woman named Ashley.”

Cal looked at his brother. “A girlfriend?”

“Yes, but not mine. One of the guys in my unit was killed. Ben. He was a good kid. Not a great marine but he had a lot of heart. Ashley was his girl. He planned on marrying her when he got out. I have a letter to deliver to her, so I have to find her.”

Penny set down her fork. “You have more than just her first name, right? His family can help you locate her.”

The darkness returned to Walker’s eyes. “Ben didn’t have any family. He grew up in foster care. Four high schools in four years. I know she lived in the Seattle area when they were in high school and that her name is Ashley.”

Cal leaned back in his chair. “That’s not enough to go on.”

“Sure it is.” Walker picked up his glass of wine. “I can go through high school yearbooks until I find where Ben went to school, then get the names of all the Ashleys.”

“Couldn’t you hire a private detective or something?” Penny asked. “That’s a huge amount of work.”

“I have time,” Walker told her. “I want her to have the letter.”

Cal knew his brother well enough to recognize his stubborn expression. “Don’t argue, Penny. His mind is made up.”

“Good luck,” Penny said.

“Thanks.” He cut off a piece of the battered fish. “Great meal. The best I’ve had in nearly a year.”

“Thank you. I thought you’d like it. So why did you turn down Naomi?”

Cal winced. “Very smooth transition. Subtle.”

Penny shrugged. “I’m curious. You’ve been away a long time. I’m guessing there wasn’t a lot of, um, well, you know.”

“Sex,” Walker said calmly. “You’re saying there wasn’t a lot of sex to be had on my tour.”

“Something like that. Naomi is attractive and from all accounts, very skilled.”

“You’re offering me your friend?”

“No. I’m curious. Is it because she’s older?”

Walker shrugged. “She’s what? Thirty-eight? Thirty-nine?”

“Forty.”

“Perfectly seasoned,” he said. “It’s not the age thing.”

“Then what?”

“Then none of your business.”

She held out her fork like a weapon. “I’m pregnant. You have to be nice to me.”

Cal decided his brother needed rescuing. “Mariners should have a good season this year.”

“I heard that,” Walker said.

Penny rolled her eyes, then said, “The infield looks promising. Now if only we can come up with the hits.”

Conversation shifted to baseball, then the success of the restaurant, then to possible neighborhoods for Walker’s apartment.

Cal watched his brother skillfully dodge any personal questions. Walker might love Penny, but he wasn’t going to share more than he wanted to.

Secrets, Cal thought. They were a family who kept secrets.

CHAPTER NINE

FRIDAY MORNING Penny found herself pulling into The Waterfront shortly before seven.

“This is just plain wrong,” she muttered as she climbed out of her car and hurried toward the rear of the building. There hadn’t even been time to shower. As she wasn’t allowed caffeine anymore, due to her pregnancy, a shower was the only thing that perked her up in the morning.

“I know, I know,” Naomi said from her place just outside the open back door. “It was your turn to sleep in. I’m sorry. I thought you’d want to see.”

Penny and Naomi traded off predawn times, alternating who had to get in to go over the delivery.

Penny stared at the water pouring out the back door. “Shouldn’t we be able to turn that off?”

“We’re working on it.” Naomi gave a half smile that didn’t look the least bit convincing. “First the pipe cracked, then the shutoff broke. That’s when I made the executive decision to rip out part of the wall to see if we could get to any other kind of shutoff.”

Penny had a bad feeling there wasn’t a happy ending to the story. “And?”

“Rats.”

Penny took a step back and shuddered. “This isn’t your attempt not to use bad language, is it?”

“Sorry. No. There’s not a lot. Obviously the exterminator has been doing his job, but still, there was a family of them.”

It was too early to deal with rodents. “Great.” Penny started for the kitchen.

Naomi clutched her arm. “There’s more.”

“Because a broken pipe, no ability to turn off the water pouring through my kitchen and out into the alley and rats in the walls isn’t enough?”

“We haven’t had the produce delivery. The truck was in a big pileup. Three cars and the truck. No one was injured but…” Her voice trailed off.

Penny shook her head. “Something tells me my lettuce didn’t survive.”

“That’s what they’re saying.”

“Great.” She had special orders due in today for her new chef’s special. “You know we have three parties of ten in tonight.”

Naomi nodded.

“And I would kill for cilantro, which we’re now not getting.”

“You mentioned that,” Naomi said. “I’m really sorry.”

Penny stepped close and hugged her. “None of this is your fault.” She reached for her cell phone. “Time to call in the troops.”

She punched in Cal’s number. “You’ll never guess what’s happened here,” she said and told him what was going on. “Naomi has already called the plumber, but we have to do something about the rats. They’re going to totally gross me out.”

“I’ll call the exterminator and then be in.”

“Yeah. You wouldn’t happen to have any cilantro, would you?”

“No. Want me to stop and get some?”

“No. I’ll call the produce company and see what they can do about delivering something to me. Although it won’t be their best. That’s in the pileup.”

“Gotta love the business,” he said.

“At least it’s not boring. See you in a bit.” She hung up and looked at Naomi. “Cal’s on his way. He’s calling about the rats.” She glanced at the door. “Do I have to go in there?”

“The rats are all scattered. You don’t have to worry about them.”

“Okay.” Penny tried to tell herself they were just really big, ugly mice and she liked mice. They were small and cute and reminded her of Cinderella. But rats? She shuddered.

She stepped inside and immediately found herself ankle-deep in the raging river that went right through her kitchen. “The plumber’s on his way, right?”

“Shouldn’t be too long.”

“Good.” Because there wasn’t going to be any prep work while this was going on. And even after the water was turned off, the floor would need some time to air out. And there were those three parties of ten, not to mention a full house, tonight.

At least her office was dry, she thought as she shrugged out of her coat and moved back into the main area of the kitchen.

“We have fish,” Naomi said helpfully. “That’s something.”

Penny put a call in to the produce company. They read off what they had available and she checked it against her order. “Send it,” she said, then hung up. She quickly scribbled out another list and handed it to Naomi. “I’ll need this stuff by one. But before you go, let’s brainstorm a new special for tonight.”

An hour later they had a special and a modified menu. Edouard strolled into the kitchen. Her sous-chef looked especially male and self-satisfied as he surveyed the flowing water.

“There is a broken pipe,” he announced.

Naomi grinned. “Gee, Eddie. Thanks. We weren’t sure what all this water was.”

Edouard smiled. “You are crabby. Should I ask why? Man trouble? I, of course, have no trouble with the men in my life. They adore me.”

“Of course they do,” Penny said. “We’re all delighted you had a good night. Now let’s talk about what’s going on.”

Naomi moved next to Edouard and rested her chin on the top of his head. “I never have trouble with my men, either, my little friend.”

Just then, a strange man stuck his head in the back door. “I’m the plumber,” he said with a grin. “Looks like you have a broken pipe.”

As he was well-muscled, young and good-looking, Penny wasn’t surprised when Naomi hurried toward him.

“I’ll deal with this,” she said.

“Of course you will,” Edouard told her. “He looks innocent. Be gentle.”

Penny glanced at the clock. It was barely eight in the morning. She didn’t want to think about how the rest of the day was going to go. Was there a chance she could sneak home in the late morning for a nap? Just a couple of hours of sleep. Not like she’d be doing anything else in bed. Yup, that was her. Sexless girl.

She tuned out Edouard and Naomi’s banter as she realized she couldn’t actually remember the last time she’d been with a man. As in naked. As in skin on skin, kissing, touching and the ever thrilling moment of climax.

“So unfair,” she said, still caught up in the revelation. “Everyone is having sex but me.”

Her two assistants stared at her. The plumber shifted uncomfortably. “Ah, maybe someone could show me that pipe,” he said.

Naomi patted her shoulder in sympathy, then led the guy out.

“You could be getting some,” Edouard said.

Penny accepted the comment in the generous spirit in which it was given. “I’m pregnant. Trust me. No one wants to see me naked.”

“Au contraire. Many men find the lushness of the flower at full bloom most appealing.”

“Who’s blooming?” Cal asked as he walked into the kitchen. He had a grocery bag in one hand and a huge pet carrier in the other.

“Penny. She’s upset because she’s not getting any,” Edouard said, staring at the carrier. “What do you have in there? A dog? There will be no dogs in my kitchen. Go. Shoo.”

He waved his hands toward the door, as if that would make Cal retreat.

No such luck, Penny thought, knowing her cheeks were on fire. Kitchens were rowdy, randy places where no one had secrets and every weakness was a target. She knew that and accepted it. But why did Edouard have to announce her lack of sex to Cal? And why was her ex-husband grinning at her?

“What?” she asked. “Did you have something you wanted to say to me?”

He held out the grocery bag. She took it and looked inside. Instantly her stomach growled.

“You brought me cilantro.”

He shrugged. “You said you needed it.” He set down the pet carrier and opened it. “This is for the other problem,” he said as a massive black-and-white cat jumped gracefully out.

“A cat!” Edouard sounded so horrified, Penny half expected him to jump on the counter. “No. No! They shed. The hair would be everywhere.”

“I agree,” Penny said. “No cats in my kitchen. It’s not sanitary. We won’t even discuss the health code violations.”

“Better a cat than rats,” Cal said. “He’s not an indoor cat. He’s a hunter. Guess what he likes to eat?”

That was something. She eyed the creature. “How much does he weigh?”

“Twenty-eight pounds. The lady at the shelter said he was clean, friendly and always on the prowl. He’s big enough that rats shouldn’t be a problem.”

The cat looked around, then strolled over to Penny. He rubbed against her leg and started to purr. She bent down and petted it. “Nice kitty.” She looked at Cal. “Does he have a name?”

“No idea.”

She felt the muscles in his back. “I hope he really does eat what he catches, otherwise he’s going to be damned expensive to feed.”

Edouard continued to eye the cat as if it would attack him. Suddenly the cat’s ears perked up and it took off toward the open wall. It slipped inside and there was silence.

“Seal up the wall quickly,” Edouard said. “While we still can.”

Penny shook her head. “The cat stays. The building is old. There have been so many remodels, I’m sure there are dozens of places the exterminator can’t get to. A cat is a good idea.”

At least she hoped it was.

A low rumble told her the second produce truck had arrived.

“It’s all going to be crap,” she muttered as she made her way outside. “The good stuff was in the crash.”

“Can’t you sort through it?” Cal asked, falling into step beside her.

“I’ll have to.”

“I’ll help.” When she looked at him, he added, “I know what decent lettuce looks like. I might not be a trained chef, but I’m not an idiot.”

“I’ll accept that.” She was grateful he was going to ignore what he’d heard earlier. Maybe he would even—

“Not getting any, huh?” he asked with a grin. “Bummer.”

PENNY STOOD and chopped cilantro. Her back ached, a fairly new event in her pregnancy, but one she was willing to live with. In an effort to ease the pressure, she scrounged a footstool and rested her left foot on it. The new position helped and she resumed her chopping and imagined forty-seven ways she could use cilantro in various dishes.

If she—

“Penny!”

She winced when she heard Cal call her name. It had been nearly a week since Edouard had announced she wasn’t “getting any” and she was still feeling a little self-conscious. Not that Cal had been anything but the perfect gentleman. She couldn’t complain about that. But still, it was embarrassing.

She looked up. “We’re fine in here. All the orders are out. Do not tell me we have an unexpected party of twelve showing up.”

“No. We’ve cleared the reservations. We’re done for the night.”

“Good.”

He walked toward her, all tall and good-looking in slacks and a sweater. Gloria might be a bitch on wheels, but her grandsons came from a mighty fine gene pool. Just looking at Cal, at the way his body moved and the slight smile on his lips, made her knees wobble. Not a good thing when she was holding such a sharp knife.

“You’re off tomorrow,” he said into her ear.

His warm breath tickled and aroused in equal measures. There hadn’t been any repeats of their hot kisses. She’d told herself she didn’t care. She’d told herself it was better this way. She’d been lying both times.

“Is that a question or a statement?” she asked.

“A question.”

She kept her gaze on her cilantro. It had been delivered fresh and smelled heavenly. “Yes.”

“Good.” He tucked a piece of paper into her jacket pocket. “My place. Tomorrow. Sixty-thirty. I’m cooking. Here are directions.”

“What if I have plans?” she asked, turning her head so she could meet his gaze. His dark eyes made her want to jump without looking. A divorce and being many years wiser than the last time she’d jumped made her less sure.

“Do you?”

She was tempted to say she did. Except she was curious about why Cal was inviting her over. Plus the man was offering to cook. Most people assumed chefs hated to eat anyone else’s food or that they were critical. Maybe others were, but Penny loved having someone else take responsibility for the food.

“No.”

“Then I’ll see you there.”

HOW HARD COULD fajitas be? Cal had picked the dish deliberately. He’d bought beans, rice, salsa and guacamole from his favorite Mexican restaurant. All he had to do was chop up a few onions, peppers and cilantro, along with the steak and chicken and throw on the spices.

He’d already set the table and he had a blender of virgin margaritas in the freezer, so why wasn’t the meal coming together? Here it was, less than fifteen minutes before Penny was due to arrive and he’d suddenly realized he had no way to heat the beans.

“I need more pots, dammit,” he yelled as he flung open cupboards. Except he never cooked and he wouldn’t know a good pot from a bad one.

He finally found a casserole dish and dumped the beans into that. He would use the microwave and be done with it.

Just then the doorbell rang. He walked to open it.

“Right on time,” he said, before he got a look at Penny. Then he stepped back and jammed his mouth shut before his jaw dropped and he just stared like an idiot.

Penny looked great. A black-and-purple sweater clung to her newly impressive breasts and her round tummy. Black jeans made already long legs seem to go on forever. Her hair was loose and hung nearly halfway down her back. The soft waves made him remember other times when her hair had been falling over his belly and thighs as she—

He slammed the door on that train of thought and invited her inside.

“You look great,” he said.

“Thanks. I’m really starting to show, but I’m still too small for maternity clothes. It’s hard finding things to wear. Love the house. Queen Anne is such a cool neighborhood. I saw you have a view. I’m jealous.” She shrugged out of her coat and handed it to him. “I stopped by the restaurant on my way over. Everything is fine. The cat is really settling in. We have to name it. Maybe we can hold a contest. With staff, I mean. Not customers. They don’t need to know about the cat or the rats.”

He closed the door and waited for her to talk herself out. The babbling meant she was nervous. Knowing he wasn’t the only one made things a little easier.

“So, ah, why am I here?” she asked as he hung up her coat.

“Because I asked you and you said yes.”

“I know that. Why did you ask me?”

“You passed the date.”

Tears filled her eyes. She blinked them away. “Hormones,” she said thickly. “I didn’t know you were keeping track.”

“It wasn’t hard. You only told me about the baby a couple of weeks ago. So when Naomi said you got the all clear from your doctor,” he said, “I wanted to celebrate.”

The idea had popped into his brain and he hadn’t been able to shake it loose. He’d decided to give in to the impulse and see what happened.

“You didn’t have to do this, but I’m glad you did,” she said, heading down the hall. “Is the kitchen this way?”

“Yeah. Turn right.”

He rounded the corner and plowed into her. She’d stopped just inside the room.

“What?” he asked, feeling the criticism rolling off her. “It’s big. There’s plenty of light. It’s a good stove.”

She eyed the six-burner stainless steel appliance that had come with the house. “Better than good, but jeez, Cal. It’s red.”

He nodded. “They’d just painted before they put the house on the market. I’ll change it.”

She winced. “You should do it soon. A red kitchen isn’t a good idea. You’ll never get the color right on your vegetables and it’s not appetizing. But I can live with it.”

“I’m glad, because I’m not painting today.”

She walked over to the stools at the island and plopped down. “So what are we having?”

“Fajitas. Steak and chicken.”

“Cool.”

As she seemed to have settled in for the evening, he knew he wasn’t going to get out of cooking in front of her. “Want something to drink?” he asked, when he really wanted to offer her something to read, or a movie on TV. Anything so she wouldn’t see him fumbling around in the kitchen.

“Sure. What do you have?”

“Virgin margaritas.”

“Perfect.”

He poured them both drinks, then turned on the heat under the grill pan. He could see her eyeing the flame but didn’t know if he had it too high or too low.

“You want to do this?” he asked.

“No. I do it for a living. I like having you cook for me. It will be fine.”

“Any pointers?”

She smiled. “Cal, it’s nothing more than a simple stir-fry on a grill pan. You’ll do great.”

“Yeah.” He was already sweating. Why had he thought this was a good idea?

“I didn’t see another car in the driveway,” she said. “Has Walker already moved out?”

“A couple of days ago. Reid offered him a bedroom on his houseboat, but Walker’s determined to have his own place.”

“I’m surprised he moved out of here,” she said after taking a sip of her margarita, “but who on earth would want to move in with Reid? There would be too many women coming and going. I heard he already has a new chickie. He and Naomi lasted what, two weeks? Maybe three?”

“They burn hot and bright,” he said as he dropped the meat onto the grill pan. “Then it’s over.”

“I know. Naomi’s already making moves on one of the busboys. She’s amazing.”

“I hear Edouard has a new man in his life,” Cal said, throwing on peppers and onions.

“That’s the rumor.”

He glanced at her, remembering what Edouard had said about her not getting any. Did she want to?

Her eyes narrowed. “I know what you’re thinking. Stop it.”

“What am I thinking?”

She sniffed. “I’m gestating right now. Sex isn’t important to me.”

“Good to know.” He thought about how she’d responded to his kisses. She might be pregnant, but it wasn’t keeping her completely occupied. If he asked, would she say yes? Did he want her to?

Penny sniffed again. “Ah, is that burning?”

“I’M IMPRESSED,” Penny said as she made another fajita. “This is great.”

“Thanks.” Cal accepted the compliment, although he looked a little suspicious.

“I mean it. I love when someone cooks for me and this is really delicious. You used plenty of cilantro.”

“I knew you were having a craving.”

“That seems to come with the territory. At least I haven’t run into a food I can’t either buy or fix.”

They were eating in Cal’s dining room. He’d put her with her back to the kitchen, so she wouldn’t have to look at the red walls. A sweet gesture, she thought. Any more like that and in her present hormonal state she would start sobbing.

There was also something familiar about their dinner. Just the two of them at a table, talking about restaurants, food, life. How many evenings had they spent together around a table? Their world had been food, work and each other.

Where had their relationship gone wrong? She knew Cal changing his mind about wanting a baby was a big part of it, but there had been plenty of cracks before the crumble.

“Why did you start The Daily Grind?” she asked. “How much of it was wanting something of your own and how much of it was getting away from Gloria?”

He shrugged. “It was about equal.” He leaned toward her. “Oh, I see. Now you believe me about Gloria.”

She smiled. “I never had to work with her before. I’ll admit that when we were first married I thought you exaggerated her personality. I’ve had a few recent encounters with her that have changed my mind. She’s the most controlling person I’ve ever met.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Speaking of telling, have you thought any more about telling Dani the truth about her father? I know it would hurt her initially, but I suspect that after a while she’d find the information very freeing.”

“I don’t know what to do,” he admitted. “I’ve always looked out for Dani. I always wanted to protect her from the world. Now she’s all grown up and I still find myself wanting to shield her from things.”

He kept talking, but suddenly Penny couldn’t hear him. There was an ache deep inside that told her his words confirmed what she’d always believed: Cal would have been a terrific father.

He instinctively took care of those who weren’t as strong. Those in need. She could imagine him adoring a toddler while teaching him or her how to go forward in the world.

Why had he changed his mind? Why hadn’t he wanted children with her?

She opened her mouth, then closed it. The evening was going too well. She didn’t want to spoil the mood by fighting—and discussions about children and babies always led to fights.

He picked up his margarita. “I’ve been thinking about what you said,” he told her. “Better the information come from me than from Gloria. I just have to figure out the best time.”

Penny wasn’t sure there was a good time to shatter someone’s view of their world, but she trusted Cal to be sensitive about the whole thing.

“She’ll want to leave Burger Heaven,” Penny said.

“I know. Maybe I could offer her a job at The Daily Grind. We’re always looking for good managers. I’ve tried to hire her before but she claimed one incident of nepotism in her life was enough. I told her I would have hired her even if we weren’t family, but she didn’t believe me.”

Penny had a feeling Dani would want to escape family-owned businesses for a while, but she didn’t say that.

“You’ve done well for yourself,” she said instead. “The company is really growing.”

He grinned. “It’s even more impressive when you consider we’re in the city where Starbucks started. Talk about competition.”

“Good point. Obviously you’ve filled a niche and we’re a society of obsessive coffee drinkers.” She sighed. “I miss coffee. And before you remind me I can have decaf, I’ll tell you that it’s just not the same.”

“I know. Only a few more months.” He eyed her stomach. “Is your mom going to come out and stay with you when you have the baby?”

“Yes. She says she was there with all her other grandchildren. She’ll be here for the birth of this one.” Penny rested her hand on her belly. “I can’t help thinking she’s disappointed.”

Cal frowned. “At having another grandchild? Not possible.”

“Oh, I know she’ll be happy about the baby. It’s me being pregnant this way. My two sisters did everything exactly right. I bounced around for nearly five years before I figured out what I wanted to do with my life. I flunked out of college twice, worked at dozens of jobs. I know my parents were frustrated. Now I’m pregnant by a man they’ll never meet and about whom we know nothing. I have a list of characteristics and a brief medical history.”

Cal leaned close and took her other hand. “You waited to find out what made you happy instead of settling for a career you’d hate. How many people have the courage to do that? You weren’t willing to compromise. That’s a good thing.”

“Don’t be nice to me. I’ll start to cry.”

“Anything but that,” he teased. “Guys hate tears. It’s too much like blackmail.”

She smiled. “I was always very good about that.”

“Yes, you were. You played it straight.”

Except for changing his mind about having children, Cal had played it straight, too. They’d been good people who had been in love. So what had gone so wrong in their marriage?

“Why didn’t we make it?” she asked quietly.

“Hell if I know.”

“It seemed as if everything was fine one day and the next there were cracks everywhere. They had to have started sometime. They didn’t just appear.”

“Maybe we were too young,” he said.

“We were both in our twenties. Hardly kids. But maybe you’re right. Maybe we weren’t ready for the stresses of marriage.” She stared into his dark eyes. “I never hated you.”

“I’m glad. I didn’t hate you, either.”

Was it her, or had it just gotten hot in here?

“At least we can be friends now,” she said, knowing she should pull her hand free of his. There was something intimate about sitting next to each other, staring into each other’s eyes and holding hands. Way too intimate. And sexual. Because she was suddenly aware of his body—the hard planes, his broad shoulders. She knew exactly what he looked like naked. How to touch him to make him stiffen with pleasure.

“Wow, look at the time,” she said, drawing back and tugging her hand free. “Where did the time go?”

He glanced at his watch. “It’s eight-thirty.”

“I know, but I’m tired and, you know, tomorrow’s a work day. Friday, even. A busy work day. And I should call Naomi and check on things. Just to be sure.”

“What’s wrong?” he asked. “What are you afraid of?”

“I’m not afraid.” She stood and looked at the mess on the table. “I should help you clean up.”

“Screw that. Why are you running away?”

“Do I look like I’m running? I’m standing in place.” She raised one foot to show him. “See?”

He rose and moved close. “Did I say something to upset you?”

Nope. Not a word. She’d upset herself without any help at all. And upset wasn’t even the right word. She was…uncomfortable. And sexually aware. And seriously pregnant. Hardly circumstances to turn Cal on.

“Okay, this was great,” she told him as she backed toward the door. “The dinner. The conversation. All of it. Really, really great. Thanks. I appreciate it.”

She grabbed her coat and purse, then opened the door and ducked outside. Thirty seconds later she’d started her car and was zooming out of his driveway.

Free at last, she thought, unable to slow the pounding of her heart.

The worst part of it was she couldn’t explain what had just happened. She’d become aware of Cal on a sexual level and she’d been afraid she would act on it. Frankly, doing without was a whole lot better than getting rejected. Still, running felt wrong. Maybe she should have explained.

“Oh, yeah. There’s a conversation I’m dying to have with my ex-husband and boss.”

She drove across Seattle until she reached her own small rental house. After she inched her way inside the single-car garage, she turned off the engine. It was only then she noticed a car pulling in behind her. A familiar, small, two-seater sports car.

She walked out of the garage just as Cal climbed out of his Z4.

“What are you doing here?” she asked.

“Making sure you got home okay,” he told her. “And trying to figure out what has you so spooked.”

“I’m not spooked. I’m not anything. I’m tired. It’s late. I had a good time and then I left.”

He grabbed her arm, pulled her hard against him and lowered his mouth close to hers.

“I don’t think it’s that at all,” he said, right before he kissed her.

CHAPTER TEN

PENNY FULLY INTENDED to protest, right up until his lips touched hers. But the second she felt the warm heat, the soft pressure, wanting exploded inside of her. Powerful sexual need blocked anything close to common sense. She gave herself up to the kiss and knew she would have to deal with the consequences later.

Instinctively, she tilted her head, parting her mouth even before he asked her to. But instead of responding as he should, and plunging inside, he continued to kiss her chastely, nibbling on her lower lip before flicking his tongue against her upper lip without actually doing anything more.

Okay, he was being a gentleman. Under most circumstances, that was a good thing. She decided to give him a few more hints. She wrapped both arms around him and pressed her body against his. Her stomach made it hard for her to rub her breasts against his chest, but she rounded her shoulders and kind of leaned in so that he would get the message.

Or not, she thought several seconds later when he’d done little more than kiss her like a brother and rest his hands on her shoulders.

“What’s wrong with you?” she asked as she drew back. “Why are you here?”

He reached up and tucked her hair behind her right ear. “I’m seducing you.”

Seducing? With those chaste little bird kisses? “I don’t think so. If this is about what Edouard said, you can forget it. I don’t need mercy sex.”

He had the nerve to grin at her. “Actually, you do, but I’m interested in more than that.”

She wasn’t sure what to do. On the one hand, she longed for physical intimacy, to touch and be touched. That part of her relationship with Cal had always worked extremely well. But there were complications. Not only the fact that she worked with him and that they had once been married, but also how she looked.

“This is dumb,” she said and started for the garage.

He followed her up to the entrance to the house and pushed the button to close the garage door. “No, it’s not,” he said. “I want you, Penny, and I think you want me. What’s dumb about that?”

His words made her knees go weak, even as she glanced down at her stomach and panicked.

“There’s the whole baby thing,” she said.

“We’ll be careful.” He opened the door of the house and pushed her inside. “You can tell me what to do. You like doing that.”

“There’s not a safety issue, if that’s what you mean,” she said as she dropped her purse onto the table in the hallway and turned to face him. “But there are other things.”

He stepped forward and rested his hands on her stomach. “You mean the fact that you’re so beautiful, you practically glow? Or maybe you’re talking about your breasts, which are much bigger than I remember.”

She couldn’t help smiling. “You’ve noticed?”

“I’ve obsessed.”

“Really?”

He nodded. “Especially before I knew you were pregnant. I couldn’t figure out what you’d done to make them bigger.”

She liked knowing that.

He rubbed her stomach in slow, sensual circles. “Your body is different and that’s okay.” He leaned over and lightly kissed her. “Or are you going to make me beg?”

“Begging would be good. I would encourage—”

And then she couldn’t talk because he’d pushed his tongue inside her mouth.

He kissed her deeply, claiming her with a mastery that left her breathless. Sensations washed over her as he ran his hands up and down her arms, then did the same on her back. It was as if he had to reacquaint himself with every inch of her.

She wrapped both her arms around him. He angled his head, then circled her tongue with his.

There was heat between them. A melting warmth that made her want to be naked and on her back with him filling her. The combination of kissing and thinking caused her body to swell. Her breasts tightened and her nipples got so sensitive she could barely stand the pressure of her bra. Between her legs, everything dampened in anticipation.

He broke the kiss so he could nibble along her jaw to her ear. He sucked on the lobe, then licked the skin right below her ear. Goose bumps broke out all over.

“Bedroom,” he whispered in her ear.

Oh. Right. That would make things easier.

She began backing up down the hallway. At one point, she managed to flick on a light so they wouldn’t bump into anything.

As they continued to move, Cal reached for the hem of her sweater and tugged it up and over her head. He waited until they entered her bedroom to toss it on a chair.

She didn’t bother turning on a lamp. Enough light spilled in the open door. He moved close and then stepped behind her where he moved her hair to the side and bent down to nibble on the back of her neck.

“I remember your breasts were really sensitive the last time,” he murmured against her skin. “Is that still true?”

She was surprised he remembered anything from her previous pregnancy.

“I think so,” she said. “They haven’t seen a lot of action.”

He chuckled. “I’ll be gentle.”

Part of her wanted him to be fast. Seduction was all fine and good, but she ached for her release. Still, when he kissed his way across her shoulders even as he unfastened her bra, she decided to put up with his attentions for just a few more minutes.

He threw the bra on top of the sweater, then reached around her to cup her breasts. Even as he kissed his way down her neck, he cupped her curves.

It was five kinds of heaven, she thought as her eyes fluttered closed. He held her gently, barely touching and yet touching just enough. He rubbed his fingers against her sensitized skin, moving in slow circles that brought him closer and closer to her nipples. Then, as he lightly kissed the side of her neck, he brushed his forefingers against her nipples.

The contact was exquisite. She arched back, wanting more. Needing more.

“Again,” she breathed and he obliged her. Over and over he touched the tight tips, pressing a tiny bit harder each time. Fire shot through her and made her burn from the inside out. Between her legs, her muscles clenched in anticipation.

It felt too good, she thought hazily.

He released her and turned her so she faced him. Then he claimed her with a kiss that stirred her soul even as he found her breasts again and squeezed her nipples between his thumbs and forefingers.

Her body shuddered as pure liquid pleasure poured through her. She clung to him, caught up in an unexpected moment of release.

This couldn’t be happening. She’d never come that way. But there it was. And as he continued to touch her, she continued to come.

But it wasn’t enough. The minireleases only made her want more. She pulled back and reached for his shirt. “Take this off,” she demanded.

He grinned. “You’re my kind of woman.”

While he took care of his clothes, she removed the rest of her own. She had a brief thought that her stomach seemed huge, then she pulled back the covers and climbed into bed.

Cal was beside her in a heartbeat. She wondered if this could get awkward, but then he reached for her. Even as he kissed her, he slipped his hand between her thighs. The second his fingers moved into her swollen heat, she forgot everything except the potential for pleasure. Her legs fell open, her hips began to pulse and she couldn’t catch her breath.

“You’re already close,” he said against her mouth.

Close didn’t describe it, she thought as she dug her heels into the mattress. Tension filled her. Need grew until it swallowed her whole.

He found that single spot of pleasure and began to rub. His fingers moved over slick, swollen flesh, bringing her closer, higher, tighter with each quick circle.

He shifted so that he could continue to touch her there with his thumb, then he slipped two fingers inside. It was good, she thought desperately. Then he lowered his head and took her nipple in his mouth. The gentle sucking pushed her over the edge.

Her orgasm claimed her with the subtlety of an explosion. Wave after wave of pleasure crashed into her, taking her breath away and making it impossible to do anything but absorb the wonder he created in her.

On and on, her body released months of abstinence until she thought she might never stop.

Still feeling the rippling contractions, she forced her eyes open and stared into his face.

“Now,” she whispered.

Cal wasn’t about to refuse an invitation like that. He kept his fingers inside of her as he shifted between her legs, then he quickly replaced them with his erection.

The second he pushed into her hot, wet, swollen body, he felt her orgasm contract around him. Talk about a sensual massage. Just being inside of Penny had always been enough to send him over the edge, but thrusting into her while she was still coming was indescribable.

The rest of the blood in his body rushed into his arousal, making the already sensitive hardness even more aware of the feel of her body clutching his.

He swore as she came again. “You’re going to have to stop that or I won’t be able to hold back,” he ground out.

He opened his eyes to find her smiling up at him.

“You’re complaining because I’m coming too much?” she gasped. “Poor guy.”

He laughed, then groaned as she came again and his control slipped.

Inventory, he told himself. He would think about inventory. Even as he put his hands on her raised knees and buried himself inside of her, he thought of the stockroom. How much…

Oh, God. Too late. His body took over. Faster and faster, he pushed deeper and deeper. He opened his eyes and found her watching him. Another contraction, then another and then he was coming.

They stared at each other, pleasure filling them. Even as he emptied himself into her, he felt her body squeezing his again and he was lost.

CAL WATCHED LIGHT creep across the bedroom wall. The space was unfamiliar, as was the bed, but he knew exactly where he was and what he’d done. Beside him, Penny slept, her body warm and feminine as she curled up against him.

He was tired—they’d stayed awake long into the night making love—but content.

He waited for the need to bolt that usually followed spending the night, but his only pressing emotion was one of confusion.

Technically he and Penny were both single, consenting adults. They liked each other, obviously found each other attractive. So they’d taken things to the next level. It happened all the time.

In reality, though, things weren’t that simple. He and Penny weren’t dating. They worked together, and he’d always done his best to keep his personal life very separate from his work environment. And even if they’d once loved each other enough to commit to forever, he didn’t believe in do-overs, so why was he here?

Penny stirred, then opened her eyes. “Morning,” she said. “What time is it?”

“Nearly six.”

She groaned. “It’s my day to check in the order. I’m going to be late.” She sat up, then smiled. “I’ll be tired all day and it’s your fault.”

“Sorry.”

Her smile widened. “No, no. Don’t apologize. It was so worth it.”

She stood and stretched, her naked body his to admire. The proof of her pregnancy jutted out toward him, making her seem more lush. Her breasts were definitely bigger. He’d already touched every inch of them and wouldn’t mind doing it again. Then he glanced at the clock and groaned. He was running late, too.

Five minutes later, she walked out of the bathroom in a robe. Her face was washed, her hair tied back in a braid. “I’ll have to sneak back at some point so I can shower,” she said, pausing to give him a kiss. “Take your time. Just lock the door behind you, okay?”

“I will.”

She stepped into the closet, reappearing minutes later fully dressed. “See you at the restaurant,” she called as she hurried down the hall.

He watched her go, then sat up. As easy as that, he thought.

He stood in his ex-wife’s bedroom, after making love with her most of the night and wondered what on earth he’d been thinking.

PENNY ARRIVED thirty seconds before the delivery truck. She checked everything in, then stored what needed immediate refrigeration. The sky was bright, the birds were singing and the new cat had left two dead rats by the back door. It was a very good day.

She walked through the quiet kitchen and felt at one with the world. It was as if every cell in her body had just taken a big breath and relaxed. Sex was a very fine thing and something she should do more of. Especially if it could be as good as it had been last night.

She supposed that made Cal the perfect lover. Not only did he know what pleased her, he knew without being told. They’d already worked out the kinks in their physical relationship and they didn’t have an emotional one.

Oh, sure, she liked him. He was a decent guy. But not for her. They’d already tried that once. Him not wanting kids was too big a hurdle to overcome.

But he sure could make her toes curl.

She went to work on her menu for specials that evening. Sometime around eight-thirty, Edouard showed up. The unnamed cat appeared shortly after, looking fat and sleek and wanting plenty of scratches and petting.

“I don’t want to know what you’ve been doing,” Penny told him. “But I haven’t seen a single rodent since your arrival.”

The cat purred louder.

Naomi strolled in around ten. “Morning all,” she said. “How is everyone do—” She stared at Penny. “Oh. My. God.”

Penny half turned in her seat at the counter, fully expecting to see a large alien hovering behind her.

“What?” Penny asked.

“What happened?” Naomi demanded as she walked toward her. “There’s something. I can tell.” Her friend started to laugh. “You did it. You had sex!”

Penny glanced around and was grateful when she didn’t see Edouard. None of their cooks were due in until later, which meant there was time to do damage control.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Penny told her, not sure it worked, what with her inability to stop smiling.

“Oh, please. You’re glowing, and not in a pregnant way. This is far more earthy. I can’t believe it. And after all this time. But who? You—”

Naomi froze. Her eyes widened, her mouth dropped open. “Holy shit. You had sex with Cal.”

“Because I needed to know that?” Reid asked as he stepped into the kitchen. He walked over and leaned against the counter. “Say it isn’t so.”

Penny returned her attention to her menu. “I have no idea what either of you are talking about but if you’re not going to do work, then get out of my way because I’m busy.”

“It’s true,” Naomi said. “Look at her. The half smile. The fact that she hasn’t showered.”

Reid leaned on the counter next to his former lover. “What do you bet Cal spent the night at her house?”

“You think they did it there? They could have done it at his house.”

“I don’t know if Penny could. You haven’t seen his kitchen, but it’s bright red and she’d really hate that.”

Penny slammed down her pen. “Would you two please stop it? I’m right here.”

“We know that,” Naomi said. “Having this conversation when you weren’t here wouldn’t be nearly as much fun.”

Penny stood. “My private life is just that. Private. So I’m not going to talk about it.”

Naomi raised her eyebrows. “Did you see that? She’s not denying the sex thing.”

“I know. You think they’re getting back together?” Reid asked.

Penny groaned. “Fine. Talk about me. I’m going to my office where I will—”

She froze, barely daring to breathe. Naomi was at her side in a heartbeat.

“What happened? Are you okay?”

“Shhh.”

Penny waved her hands and waited. Seconds later, she felt it again. A fluttering on the inside of her stomach, followed by a definite jab.

The menu and pen fell from her fingers. She grabbed Naomi’s arms. “I felt the baby!” she cried. “I felt the baby move.”

The two women jumped around together. Reid got pulled into the group hug. Penny pressed both hands against her stomach.

“Do it again,” she said. “I want to feel it again.”

The baby obliged with a slight stirring.

“Good job,” Reid said with a grin.

“Thanks. I’m excited. Wow. Movement. I’ll have to get out my baby book, but I think I’m right on schedule.” Penny laughed. “It’s really a baby.”

“Did you think it was gas?” Naomi asked.

Penny grinned. “No.” She bent down and picked up her paper and pen. “Okay. Now I have to do the menu.” Even though she wasn’t in the mood. “Maybe I’ll call my mom first,” she said. “She’ll want to hear.”

Penny walked into her office and reached for the phone. Oddly enough, the person who came to mind wasn’t her mother. Instead she found herself wanting to call Cal and tell him the good news.

“Bad idea,” she told herself. Cal didn’t want children and three years ago, he’d made it clear he didn’t want her. So expecting him to share in this was foolish.

So why was that the first place her mind went?

PENNY CHECKED the bandage on her hand. The bleeding had stopped, proving her theory that she didn’t need stitches. It was Friday night and the kitchen was moving at top speed. Nothing less than a severed limb was going to get her out of the restaurant until the orders were through.

“The table for eight has been seated,” she yelled. “You know they’re going to want the special so brace yourself.”

Edouard glared at her. “Did you have to offer two different reductions? On a Friday?”

Penny shrugged. “I thought you were up to it.”

She offered bravado to her staff because it was expected, but on the inside, she winced. She hadn’t been thinking when she’d planned the specials for that evening. Unfortunately, they required too many burners. Which meant if several came in at the same time, there was a delicate dance to be performed, along with a strong-armed game of “who gets the open burner.”

She wanted to make a general announcement that the baby had moved and that had distracted her, but she doubted anyone would care. So she put up with the complaints and vowed not to screw up again.

Naomi blew into the kitchen looking like she was ready to choke someone.

“The wine inventory is wrong,” she announced. “I can’t believe it. On the tasting dinner, they’re out of the pinot. Just like that. Randy just announced it in hushed tones, as if by whispering no one would notice.” She stood in the middle of the kitchen and raised both her fists. “Where the hell is Cal? I want him dead. I mean that. Seriously, not breathing, dead.”

Penny stared at her. “What do you mean, we’re out of pinot? We can’t be out of pinot. Next to my fish and chips, the tasting menu is the most popular item. Dammit all to hell, I told Cal we needed to double-check the wine inventory. Did he have Randy do it?”

“That’s what I’m guessing.”

“And Cal’s not here?”

Naomi shook her head. “I haven’t seen him in about an hour.”

Great. It was a Friday night. The restaurant was packed, they were out of wine and Cal was missing.

“Nobody screws with my tasting menu,” Penny muttered as she headed for her office.

The tasting menu—a five-course prix fixe meal that offered everything from appetizers to dessert—came either with or without wine. The “with wine” selection offered a different glass of wine with each course, including a very nice Pinot Noir with the salmon.

Penny had been very specific about the pairing. Some pinots were sweeter than others and she’d wanted the exact balance of sugar with her salmon.

She jerked off her jacket and stepped out of her clogs. If she was going to have to walk through the dining room, she didn’t want everyone noticing that she was the chef.

After slipping into loafers and tugging on a black blazer she kept hanging on the back of her door for just such occasions, she pulled off her head scarf and raced toward the dining room.

Once there, she moved slowly, acting as if she were simply one of the staff. She smiled at various diners as she walked toward the wine room that was clearly visible from the front of the restaurant.

The cold hit her at once. The room was kept at a constant fifty-five degrees. She ignored the momentary discomfort and quickly walked to the pinots. Sure enough, the bin in question was empty. The wine room door opened.

She turned and saw Randy there. Cal’s assistant was young, tall and very blond. He rubbed his hands together in a signal of worry that reminded her of her grandmother.

“We’re out of the pinot,” he said, his voice shaky and weak. “I don’t know what to serve with the tasting menu. Naomi wouldn’t help. She just threatened to kill me.”

“I know. Right now I’m all that’s standing between you and certain death.”

Penny scanned the various pinots, then grabbed three and walked back to the kitchen. Randy followed.

“What are you going to do?” he asked in a whine.

“Taste them and figure out what works best with my salmon,” Penny said.

“But then we’ll have three open bottles. Plus, what about costs? We haven’t calculated if these wines will still allow us to meet our margins on the tasting dinners.”

Penny did a quick change of clothes again, this time emerging as chef. She found Naomi holding a very large chef’s knife to Randy’s throat—and Naomi looked more than capable of taking him down.

Ignoring the tableau, Penny collected three wineglasses, then quickly opened the bottles.

“Salmon,” she yelled.

Burt dropped a piece of salmon onto a plate. Edouard topped it with the reduction and slid it toward her. She poured, careful to line up each glass with its appropriate bottle.

“Taste,” she yelled.

“Do I have to let him go?” Naomi asked.

“Yes. This is more important. You can beat up the assistant manager later.”

Naomi released Randy, who squeaked, then raced from the kitchen.

Penny grabbed a fork and took a taste of the salmon. She let the flavors meld on her tongue.

“Damn, I’m good,” she muttered, then studied the wines. She picked up the middle one first and took a sip. “Not enough flavor.”

The first wine blended well. She took another sip, tried the third wine, then scrawled her initials on the first bottle’s label.

Naomi went next. She liked the first and third bottle equally. Edouard agreed with Naomi.

“Then I’ll break the tie,” Penny said. She grabbed the first bottle and handed it to Naomi. “Give this to Randy. Don’t hurt him until the shift is over. Understand?”

“Oh, be that way,” Naomi grumbled.

Within five minutes, the kitchen was back on track. Penny left the two open bottles of pinot in the kitchen for her staff to indulge in later. It would serve Cal right to lose the money. He shouldn’t have left such a green assistant in charge of something that important.

And where the hell was he, anyway?

He didn’t appear, but shortly after nine there was another visitor in the kitchen. Penny glanced up as Gloria entered. The older woman was well-dressed and looked very happy. The latter was never good news.

“Penny, I wanted to stop by and say how wonderful everything was tonight. I’m here with friends who are very impressed.”

“Thanks,” Penny said. “The special is doing well.”

“Yes. I noticed that. Although it seemed a little over-priced. Still, you and Cal are making the decisions these days.”

Penny forced herself to keep smiling. She’d felt her baby move for the first time that day and nothing the old bat was going to say could upset her.

“Speaking of Cal,” Gloria said, “I don’t know if you noticed he’s not here.”

“I had noticed. Did you want me to give him a message?”

“Oh, not at all. I know where he is.”

Uh-oh. Penny recognized potential trouble when she heard it. “Good. I’ll tell him you stopped by.”

“If you’d like, dear. But you’re the reason I’m here. I thought you’d want to know where Cal is tonight.”

Penny had been curious, right up until Gloria had offered to tell her. Now she felt a little queasy.

“I’m really busy,” she said. “Maybe another time.”

“This won’t take but a moment,” Gloria said, pulling a piece of colored paper out of her purse. She smoothed the paper on the metal counter. “It’s a flyer for a local high school play. They’re doing a musical—The King and I. Look at the girl playing Anna. Isn’t she pretty? Her name is Lindsey. She’s seventeen. Do you know about her?”

Penny couldn’t speak. She could only stare at the picture. There was something about the teenager—something familiar.

“Cal’s daughter,” Gloria said. “Didn’t he mention her to you? I would have thought he might have, seeing as you were married. Hmm, maybe not. She’s a lovely girl with a beautiful voice. So lovely. She was sick a few years ago. Cancer, I believe. But she’s fine now. She’ll be going to college in the fall. Cal adores her. He’s never missed a school production. He hated giving her up, but he was just a teenager himself. What choice did he have? Still, he’s been a wonderful, caring father. He always wanted children. Just not with you, dear. Just not with you.”

CHAPTER ELEVEN

CAL WALKED INTO The Waterfront a little before ten. The dining room was surprisingly full, with three couples still waiting to be seated. It was going to be a late night.

He nodded at the hostess, then looked around for Randy. His assistant was a little new to have been left in charge on a Friday night, but Cal hadn’t had much choice. He wanted a report, then he wanted to check in with Penny.

As he crossed the dining room, he saw Randy race out of his office. The younger man slowed his pace slightly as he approached. He grabbed Cal’s arm and pulled him to the side.

“We ran out of wine,” he said, his voice low and thick with tension. “For the tasting dinner. Penny’s really mad. I mean really mad. She picked a different wine and wouldn’t let me run the numbers, so I don’t know if we’re losing money or not.”

Cal groaned. “We ran out of the pinot? How did that happen?”

Randy shrugged.

“Great. Let me go calm Penny down, then we’ll get through the evening and sort it out in the morning. There’s a decent pinot for the dinner now, isn’t there?”

“I think so. Penny didn’t want me involved in the decision.”

“Okay. I’ll take care of things.”

He patted Randy on the back, then started for the kitchen. He stepped through the swinging door and into the madness that was a kitchen at capacity.

“Penny, I heard there was a—”

Something whizzed past his head and slammed into the door frame. He turned and saw a meat cleaver sticking out of the wood. Except for the hiss of the steamer and the roar of fire at the burners, the kitchen went silent.

“What the hell?” He turned and saw Penny standing by the counter, glaring at him.

“Oops,” she said, not sounding the least bit sincere or concerned. “I must have slipped.”

He couldn’t believe it. “You threw a knife at me,” he said, more stunned than furious.

She shrugged, a casual enough gesture, but he could see the rage in her eyes.

She’d thrown a knife at him and she was mad? “What the hell is wrong with you?” he demanded.

“Gosh, I don’t know. Like I said, it slipped.”

She turned back to the plates she was assembling. Conversation began again in the kitchen. Cal stared at her, not sure what was going on. Penny couldn’t be this mad because they were out of wine.

Penny thrust the plates at him. “Table sixteen. Did Randy tell you we’re out of the pinot for the tasting menu?”

“He mentioned it.”

“Next time you take off on our busiest night of the week, you might want to leave someone competent in charge.”

She turned her back on him and began calling out the new orders that popped out of the small printer. Cal stared at her for a second, then walked out into the dining room. Something was up, but he didn’t have any idea what.

After delivering the meal and chatting briefly with several guests, he walked toward his office. He stepped into the small space and found Naomi waiting for him.

“You okay?” she asked.

“Why do you care?”

She shook her head. “I don’t know what happened, but you’re in big trouble. Penny’s never gone ballistic like that before. What did you do?”

“I haven’t a clue. Everything was fine when I left, and now she’s crazy. She threw a meat cleaver at my head.”

“I heard. Good thing she’s got a decent aim.”

He didn’t want to think about what would have happened if she’d slipped.

Naomi looked at him. “Gloria was here. What do you want to bet the old bat made trouble?”

It was more than possible, but what could Gloria have said to set Penny off? “As soon as things slow down, I’m going to talk to Penny. Would you give me a heads-up if she tries to sneak out?”

Naomi hesitated. “All right. But just because I’m worried about her. Don’t expect me to get in the habit of siding with you against her.”

PENNY FELT AS IF she’d been awake for five days and had just finished a marathon. Her body ached, her head throbbed and she longed for hours and hours of sleep. Maybe then she would be able to forget what Gloria had told her.

She didn’t want to believe, but the proof was folded in her jacket pocket. The teenager looked so much like Cal. And knowing he’d had a child and then had given her up explained a lot. But it hurt to finally know the truth.

“You’re not leaving without talking to me first.”

She glanced up and saw Cal standing in the doorway to her office. He seemed larger than normal, as he filled the space and cut off her only escape route.

Hearing him out was the mature thing to do, although she wasn’t in the mood to do much more than throw a tantrum—something she’d sort of already done with the meat cleaver. She hadn’t meant to do that. One second she’d been holding it after chopping some beef, the next she’d heard his voice and the knife had somehow slipped from her fingers to go sailing through the air.

She sank onto her chair and drew in a deep breath. There was so much to say, yet she didn’t know where to begin. Or how to explain what she was feeling.

“You tried to kill me,” he said as he walked into the room and took the seat opposite hers. “Want to tell me why?”

“I reacted without thinking.”

“That’s a relief. I would hate to have you planning my death.”

She really could have hurt him. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

He folded his arms over his chest. “You won’t have your cooks arguing with you about anything.”

“A happy by-product.”

She tried to smile and couldn’t. Her eyes burned, as much from unshed tears as from exhaustion.

“Naomi told me Gloria stopped by,” he said. “So I know she has something to do with what happened. I can’t think of what she could have said that would piss you off so much.”

“Really?” Did he mean that? Could he possibly have spent the evening watching his daughter in a school play and not have any clue what his grandmother had said? “Then let’s clear things up right now.”

She reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out the playbill. After smoothing it, she slid it across the desk so he could see the picture. She watched him carefully as he studied the paper. His expression didn’t change, but his mouth tightened.

It was as if he’d hit her.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, in the deepest, darkest corner of her heart, she’d hoped Gloria had been lying. That despite the physical similarities, there was another explanation. She didn’t want to know that the man she’d loved and married had kept such a big secret, that he’d been willing to have a child with someone else, but not, as Gloria had said, with her.

“She told you about Lindsey,” he said quietly.

Penny leaned back in the chair and didn’t speak. She wasn’t being difficult—she knew that if she tried to open her mouth, she would start to cry.

He looked at her. “She’s my daughter. I was seventeen when she was born. I should have told you before.”

“You think?”

“Penny, I’m sorry. I didn’t know how to tell you. When we were dating, it didn’t seem important. Then we were married and I didn’t know what to say or how. The longer I waited, the harder it was to explain. I never meant to keep this a secret.”

“We were married. I got pregnant. Never once did it occur to you to say ‘been there, done that’?”

“I wanted to.”

“Apparently not very much. No one stopped you.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I guess I hated what it said about me. That I’d given up my kid. It was a pretty typical story. My girlfriend, Alison, got pregnant. She didn’t want to keep the baby, but I did. I wasn’t sure how I could support us both, but I was willing to try. Then Gloria got involved and she said she would be there to help. We both know what that means.”

Her head was spinning. Wait a minute! He’d wanted to keep the baby? He’d been willing to turn his world upside down and keep his child? Her stomach tightened and she felt as if she might throw up.

“I couldn’t let her get her hands on my daughter,” he said. “So I agreed to adoption. Under the settlement, the parents were to keep me informed of her progress and tell her about me if she ever asked. They’ve been great about sending me updates and pictures. But while Lindsey knows she’s adopted, she’s not interested in her birth parents.”

He leaned forward. “She’s seventeen. Going to college. God, she’s pretty and smart. And just about grown up. I can never be her father. All that time is over. But I still like knowing she’s okay.”

Penny wanted to bolt. It hurt to breathe and she couldn’t think. Each word was a blow. He loved this girl so much. She could see it in his eyes, hear it in his voice. He loved Lindsey and yet he hadn’t cared when she, Penny, had lost their baby. He’d barely acknowledged its passing.

“Is she the reason you didn’t want children with me?” she asked, barely able to keep her voice from shaking.

“Partly. I felt guilty.” He shrugged. “I know that sounds crazy, but I couldn’t help thinking it was wrong to have another child I could keep when I’d had to give up Lindsey.”

“Because she was the one who mattered,” she whispered.

“Yes.”

Penny did her best to keep breathing. “You knew I wanted children, Cal. Yet you never told me this. You never bothered to explain what was going on. Everything you did was for Lindsey. But what about our marriage? Didn’t that matter?”

“I’m sorry. I know it was wrong to keep everything a secret.”

That wasn’t her point. And he hadn’t answered the question.

“I thought I could do it,” he said earnestly. “I thought I could have more children. Then you got pregnant and at first it was great. But then I thought about us being a family and I couldn’t stop thinking about giving up Lindsey. I didn’t know how to reconcile what I’d done with the life we were planning. I never meant to hurt you.”

“But you did. You changed the rules.” She stood. “You were happy when I lost the baby, weren’t you?”

He rose. “No! Never. I wanted us to have children.”

“No, you didn’t. When I wanted to try again, you told me you’d changed your mind. You said you didn’t want a family. But that’s not true, is it? You did want a family, but only if Lindsey could be your daughter. No other child was going to be good enough.”

“Penny. Stop. It’s not about being good enough. It was about my guilt.”

His words didn’t make any sense. Then her breath caught and she realized she was crying. She brushed away the tears. “I have to know everything. Just tell me it all now. I don’t want any more secrets.”

“There aren’t any.”

“Did you even love me? When I left, when I threatened to leave, I was trying to get your attention. I wanted you to wake up and notice that our marriage was dying. But you weren’t even shocked. You let me go without saying a word. I remember thinking you were relieved. Did you love me at all?”

She had to know. Maybe it was wrong. Maybe she would regret it later. But for now, the information was essential.

Cal shoved his hands into his pockets and hung his head. “I’m not sure I knew how I felt,” he began.

“Oh, please. At least have the decency to tell me the truth.”

He looked at her. “I didn’t love you the way I should have. You’re right. I was torn between what we had and what I wanted to have with Lindsey. That’s why I let you go.”

Her body began to shake so hard she thought she might collapse. This wasn’t happening. All those years they’d been dating and then married, she’d loved him. Loved him completely, and with such hope for their future. She’d trusted him with her heart, her life, her very being.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I cared about you.”

“I’ll be sure to hold on to that.”

She grabbed her purse and started for the door. He reached for her arm. “Don’t run out like this.”

She jerked free. “How should I run out? You’ve just told me that our marriage meant nothing. You weren’t willing to have children with me because you couldn’t get over giving up your first child. Tell me, Cal. Are Lindsey’s parents so horrible? Is she abused in any way?”

“What? No. They’re great.”

“So there isn’t any reason for your guilt, except selfishness. You don’t care about what was best for your daughter, you never cared about me. You only cared about what you felt. I don’t know what kind of game you were playing, but I’m sorry it took me so long to leave. I can’t believe how much time I wasted.”

Was still wasting. To think she’d made love with him, had wanted him. That she’d started to think maybe he was one of the good guys.

“You don’t understand,” he told her.

“I think I do. You couldn’t forgive yourself for giving up your child, even though it was the best thing for her. You’d rather live in guilt than have a real life, which is your choice. Only you pulled me in with lies and promises you had no intention of keeping. It was a game. I gave you everything I had and you were just playing.”

“You’re wrong,” he said.

“No, I’m not. You’re a fool, Cal. You missed out on something great with me. I don’t know if you’re afraid to love or just plain stupid. All I can say is I was lucky to get away from you.”

WALKER SAT alone in a corner of Reid’s bar and enjoyed the rowdy crowd. Since returning to Seattle, he’d found life too quiet. The military was a noisy place and after fifteen years, he’d grown used to the sounds of war.

He’d spent the day on the Internet, looking for class lists of graduates in the Seattle area. So far he’d managed to place Ben at two different high schools for two years, which meant he had more work to do.

He took a drink of his beer. As he set the bottle back on the table, he saw a tall, curvy brunette stroll into the bar.

In heels, she cleared six feet. A soft-looking sweater clung to every curve. Black leather pants left little to the imagination on the lower half of her body. Walker could picture her naked, her head leaning back, her long hair swaying as she rode him home.

His body tightened at the image and once aroused, it wasn’t about to let go so easily.

He told himself not to think about her or sex, although the two ideas were intertwined. Was that because of what he knew about her or was it the woman herself? Did it matter?

She glanced around the bar. He waited until her gaze settled on him, then he smiled. He didn’t do it often, but he knew how to curve his mouth in invitation. Someone more innocent might not understand, but he was willing to guess Naomi could more than hold her own.

She raised one dark eyebrow, then walked toward him.

She maintained eye contact, her gaze promising she would make it more than worth his while. Anticipation filled him, making him harder and willing to consider clearing the table with a single sweep of his arm and taking her right there.

“Hey, soldier,” she said. “Why are you all alone?”

“I was waiting for the right kind of company.”

“And who would that be?”

“You.”

That single eyebrow rose again. “I thought I wasn’t your type.”

“I never said that. I wanted a little time between me and my brother.”

“I can respect that.”

He rose and pulled out a chair. “Have a seat. What are you drinking?”

She moved close but instead of sitting down, she grabbed the front of his sweater and pulled him close.

Her mouth claimed his in a brief kiss that was all fire and promise and need. He felt her heat, tasted her sweetness, then straightened, just as she pulled back.

“Vodka tonic with a lime,” she said as she sank into the chair. “Which means you’ll be driving.”

He returned to his seat and picked up his beer. “My first of the evening.”

They were in a relatively quiet corner of the large bar. The round table was small and Naomi leaned close as she spoke.

“I wouldn’t have thought to find you here,” she said.

“Were you looking for me?”

She smiled. “Darlin’, I’m always looking.”

“Why is that?” He waved at one of the waitresses and gave her Naomi’s order.

Naomi stared into his eyes. “You’re one of those guys who likes a little relationship with his sex, aren’t you? You’re going to want to get to know me.”

He grinned. “Right down to your favorite color.”

“All right. But just this once. And don’t go telling anyone. It’ll ruin my reputation.”

She shifted so that her forearms were on the table, with her breasts resting on top of them. The position pulled down her sweater, giving him an eyeful of curves that just begged to be explored.

He deliberately stared into her eyes. “You’re trying to cheat.”

“A little. Is it working?”

“Of course. But we’re still going to talk first.”

She frowned. “Why is that so important to you?”

“Because I don’t get a lot of it in my life.”

Her eyes softened as her mouth twisted. “Dammit, Walker, don’t you start cheating, too. You’re going to tell me you’ve been in a war and there wasn’t any time for soft talk. Probably not any time for sex, either. You’re playing on my sympathy.”

“Is it working?”

The waitress arrived with the drink. “Here you go, hon.”

When she left, Naomi took a sip. “Okay—stop trying to manipulate me. We can talk. Why did you leave the marines?”

He opened his mouth to tell her what he’d already told Cal and Reid, but what he said instead was, “I owe a guy.”

“What? Money?”

“No. There was this kid, Ben. Lousy marine but a great guy.” He explained how Ben hadn’t had any family. “When he died, I’m the one who wrote the letter. I need to find his girlfriend so I can deliver it to her.”

“Why?” she asked. “What’s so important about a letter?”

“It’s all that’s left of him.”

She touched his arm. “There has to be something else. You don’t leave a career to deliver a letter. Why do you owe him?”

“He took a bullet for me.”

Walker stared at the table. He could still see everything about that moment as clearly as if it had just happened. It had been cold in the village. There’d been snow the night before and he and some of his men were following tracks. Insurgents had been spotted in the area. Everyone was on alert. Walker had been the most experienced and he knew they were going to have trouble, but even he hadn’t expected gunfire to come from the caves.

“There weren’t any tracks,” he said, more to himself than Naomi. “I’d checked the caves myself the previous evening and no one had been there. How could they have gotten in without leaving footprints?”

“Walker?”

He shook his head. “Ben heard something. I don’t know what. Suddenly he pushed me aside and then he was dead. The bullet caught him right in the heart. He didn’t have a chance to say anything.”

He finished his beer and leaned back in his chair. “I owe him. I’m going to find Ashley and tell her he died bravely. I want her to have the letter. Someone, somewhere has to care about that kid.”

She still had a hold of his arm. She moved her hand down until their fingers laced together.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I know that’s lame and meaningless, but I’m really sorry. I won’t say anything.”

“Keeping my secrets?” he asked.

She nodded.

Tears filled her eyes. She might be forty, but she was damn beautiful. Her full mouth quivered. A single tear rolled down her cheek. He brushed it away.

He’d always thought it must be a good thing to be able to cry. To ease the pain that built up inside. He never managed it himself. Not even when he’d crouched there, holding Ben’s body.

“I know how much it hurts,” she whispered.

He appreciated the sentiment, even as he dismissed it. She squeezed his hand.

“Walker, I know,” she told him. “I was married once. A long time ago. I had a child. A son. He was great. Smart and funny and curious and just the greatest kid ever.”

Another tear rolled down her cheek.

“I loved him. I didn’t know it was possible to love that much until I had him and then it was as if my heart couldn’t hold all that love. I would have done anything for him. I would have died a thousand times for him.”

There was another tear, then another. She brushed them away.

Walker wanted to bolt from the room. He wanted to be anywhere but here, because whatever Naomi had to tell him, he didn’t want to hear.

But he stayed because he knew if he left, she would be alone, and he couldn’t bring himself to do that to her.

“He was twelve,” she said. “We were in the car, just talking and having fun. I went to put a tape in. I’d done it a thousand times before. The tape slipped, I reached down to pick it up. It just took a second.”

Her breath caught. She pulled her fingers free and covered her face with her hands.

“Just one second. And then there was a car. It plowed right into us, hitting his side. He was killed instantly. I walked away without a scratch and my baby died. Not even in my arms. Just there, in the seat. I screamed and reached for him, but he was already gone.”

Walker shifted in his chair and pulled her against him. He could feel her sobs. He didn’t try to comfort her with meaningless words. Instead he held her tight.

“So I know,” she said against his chest. “I know how much it hurts. I know what it’s like to never forgive yourself, because I couldn’t. Everyone said it was just one of those things. That it wasn’t my fault. Even my husband. But they were wrong. It was my fault. It was me. I wanted to die. I took some pills and they locked me away for a while. When they let me out, I got in a car and I drove and I drove until the road ended. I was here, in Seattle. I lived in my car for a while, but no matter how much I suffered, I couldn’t forget what I’d done.”

He touched his fingers to her chin and forced her to look at him. Tears trickled down her cheeks.

“God, it hurts,” she said. “Every minute of every day it hurts.”

He felt her pain. It mingled with his own.

“I loved him,” she whispered. “Why couldn’t I save him?”

“We can never save the ones we love,” he told her.

Then he stood and pulled her to her feet. After tossing a twenty on the table, he led her out to his car.

As he opened the door, she stared at him. “That’s why I do it. To help me forget.”

The men. He’d figured there was a reason. “Does it help?”

“For a little while. And then I remember and my heart breaks all over again.”

“I’d like to forget,” he said and pulled her close.

She went willingly into his arms. He kissed her with a desperation borne of far more than just sexual need. She clung to him, responding as if she would die if she didn’t have him.

Perhaps she would, he thought, as desire took over and clouded his mind. Perhaps they both would.

CHAPTER TWELVE

TWO DAYS LATER, things weren’t much better with Penny. Cal appreciated that she’d stopped assaulting him with deadly weapons, but she still wasn’t speaking to him. After thinking over their conversation he realized that admitting he hadn’t really loved her while they’d been married had probably put him at the top of the list for idiot of the year.

He parked next to Reid’s Corvette and climbed out of his car. The day was sunny but he could feel the dampness of the lake in the chilly morning. Still, the view was impressive as he stared east toward Bellevue and Kirkland.

He walked along the dock, then stepped onto his brother’s houseboat and knocked on the front door.

“It’s Cal,” he called in warning. “Don’t answer the door naked.”

Reid pulled open the front door and grinned. “Don’t want to be intimidated, huh?”

“Like that would happen.”

Reid, dressed in sweats and barefoot, led the way into the kitchen. “Let’s not have that conversation. Coffee?”

“Sure.”

Reid poured them each a cup from the pot. Without speaking, they walked into the living room and sat down.

Houseboat didn’t fully describe the remodeled twenty-two-hundred-square-foot luxury home on the water. There was every modern convenience and the added pleasure of being directly on LakeWashington.

“Penny wants you skinned alive and served with salsa,” Reid said conversationally.

“She mentioned that, huh?”

“She ranted and yelled. Then she cried.” Reid looked at Cal. “You get that one for free this time, but don’t let it happen again.”

Cal knew his brother wasn’t kidding. “You were right. I should have told her about Lindsey.”

He waited for the crowing “I told you so,” but Reid only sipped his coffee. The silence told Cal how bad things were.

He wondered if his brother knew that he and Penny had slept together. That night had been spectacular—and not just for the hot sex. There had been something about being with her again….

Warning signs flashed on and off in his brain. No emotions allowed, he reminded himself. No feeling. It wasn’t smart, it wasn’t safe and in the end, everyone suffered.

“I hate that bitch,” Reid said.

It took Cal a second to realize he meant Gloria. “She loves to screw with us.”

“It’s because we won’t do what she wants.”

“I have,” Cal said. “More than once.”

Reid glanced at him. “That’s because you were the oldest and were trying to protect the rest of us.”

True enough, but that didn’t make him feel any better about his decisions. “Gloria’s been on my ass about taking over the company,” he said. “Why would she pull something like this? She has to know it’ll piss me off.”

“She wants to make sure you don’t get back together with Penny more than she wants you to run the corporation. She can’t forgive Penny for walking out on one of her precious grandsons.”

Made sense, Cal thought. “Still, it’s my fault Gloria had ammunition in the first place. If I’d told Penny about Lindsey, Gloria couldn’t have fucked things up.”

“We’ve all made bad choices,” Reid said. “Now you’ll deal with yours.”

He regretted having to make the confession more than he could say. “She thinks I’m glad she lost the baby. I’m not. I wasn’t back then, either. I never wished anything bad would happen to our child.”

“Maybe not, but you were relieved.”

Cal opened his mouth and closed it. His brother spoke the truth. He remembered his initial happiness fading as a sense of being trapped took over. How was he supposed to have another child and care about it when he’d simply walked away from Lindsey? He’d been confused and hadn’t had anyone he could talk to. Or so he thought. Now he knew he could have discussed it with his brothers. Or Penny. He hadn’t trusted her to understand. What if she had? What if they’d been able to pull together instead of being pulled apart?

“I didn’t have all the answers,” he said at last.

“No one ever expected you to. Except you. Cal, none of us is perfect. It’s time you stopped trying to be. Get over it. Yes, you had a kid. You didn’t want to give her up, but you did. She’s great. Happy, living a good life. Move on.”

Advice he should listen to. “Penny has. She’s excited about the baby.”

“Of course she is. She’s always wanted kids.”

Cal knew that. In some ways, that was his greatest sin. “She was right—I changed the rules. When we were first together, I wanted kids as much as she. It was the reality of having a baby I could keep that screwed me up. When I told her I’d changed my mind…” He could still see the disbelief and hurt on her face. “I owe her.”

“Big time. But that’s the past. Let it go. She’s moved on.” Reid looked at him again. “Your timing sucks.”

“What do you mean?”

“Friday, when all this hit the fan, she’d just felt the baby move for the first time. She wanted to tell you. How’s that for a kick in the teeth? There she was all excited and doing the happy dance.”

The baby moved? “She never felt that with ours. She lost it too soon.” He could imagine her delight and excitement. “Did you feel it, too?”

“I tried, but it was too faint. There she was, all happy and then Gloria dumps the first load on her and you dump the second. Way to go, big brother.”

Cal swore. He felt like shit. “I never meant…”

Right. Because meaning or not meaning didn’t matter to anyone. Penny didn’t deserve any of this from him. She hadn’t done anything wrong. All she’d done was show up every damn day of their marriage. She’d taken a whole lot longer to give up than she should have and he’d let her go without a word.

“You should beat the crap out of me,” Cal muttered.

“That would only make you feel better and right now I’m not interested in doing that. She has a doctor’s appointment in a couple of days. An ultrasound. She’s pretty sure she doesn’t want to know if it’s a boy or a girl. And jeez, the names she’s talking about. Poor kid. But I think she’ll come around. Penny’s pretty smart.”

Penny was a lot of things, Cal thought, fighting a sudden aching sense of loss for all he’d missed with her.

He reminded himself that he was fine with that—being a part of something wasn’t his goal. Love didn’t last. Hadn’t he had that proved to him over and over?

“Naomi was in last night,” Reid said. “She left with Walker.”

“You okay with that?”

Reid shrugged. “Sure. Why not? There were never any promises between us.”

Not wanting a permanent commitment was one thing, but Reid’s lifestyle made no sense to him.

“Don’t you ever want more than a parade of women through your life?”

His brother frowned. “No. Why?”

“But you don’t care about the women you sleep with.”

Reid grinned. “For that night, she’s the most important woman in the world.”

Cal snorted. “Yeah, right. And in the morning you can’t remember her name. Don’t you ever want more than that?”

“Not even on a bet.”

“ARE YOU SICK?” Penny asked.

Naomi continued to chop leeks. “No. I’m fine. Stop bugging me. You’re getting on my nerves.”

Penny knew she should back off, but she couldn’t help worrying. “You’re not yourself. You’ve been quiet for a couple of days. Is it a guy?”

Naomi turned to her, holding the knife in her hand. “I learned from an expert, okay? I’m fine. I have stuff on my mind.”

“But I’m worried about you.”

Naomi put down the knife. “You’re sweet to worry, but don’t. I’m fine. Just thinking. It’s not something I usually do, so it’s hard for me.”

Penny could see emotions swirling in her friend’s eyes. “I want to help.”

“You can’t. Now let it go before I start foaming at the mouth.”

“Okay. But if you want to talk, I’m here.”

“I know.”

Cal walked into the kitchen. “The wine delivery is here. I was able to get more of the original pinot for the tasting dinner, but it’s an ’02 instead of an ’01. I’m going to open a bottle to see how different it is.”

The implied question was did she want to join him? Did she want to participate in this joint venture, because they were both responsible for the restaurant.

She knew the right answer. As her goal was to run her own place, she had to be interested in all aspects of the business. Hiring a good general manager would help, but in the end, the decisions would be hers.

She knew she should agree for another reason—to show Cal he didn’t matter. That she wasn’t crushed by their fight last week. Okay, maybe crushed was strong, but she was still hurt. Worse, she felt stupid. She hated feeling stupid.

She walked past him and headed for the wine room. Three cases stood on a dolly. The top case was open and a single bottle rested on the counter.

She reached for the bottle opener sitting there and quickly cut the foil. After twisting the corkscrew into the cork, she turned and pulled in a quick, expert movement. Cal set out two glasses. She poured a small amount in each.

Penny picked up hers and swirled. She held the glass to the light to check the color, then swirled again and inhaled.

The scent alone was delicious. She took a sip and allowed the flavors to settle on her tongue.

Good, she thought. A hint of sweetness, but not too much. Plenty of berry.

“It’s fine,” she said.

“I agree.”

She put her glass on the counter and turned to leave. Cal moved in front of her.

“Wait,” he said. “I want to say I’m sorry about what happened on Friday. All of it. Gloria telling you about Lindsey, our fight afterwards. I should have told you myself. Years ago, before we got married. I grew up keeping secrets and it’s a hard habit to break. And I was afraid of what you’d think of me.”

“I appreciate the apology, but it’s not necessary. We’re divorced, Cal. None of that matters.”

“It does. We work together. I want us to be friends.”

Friends. Right. She wanted to point out that she didn’t usually sleep with her friends. That by having sex with her, they’d crossed the line and now everything was different between them. Except she didn’t understand how it was different or what it all meant.

“I shouldn’t have allowed Gloria to have information you didn’t,” he said. “She wanted to hurt you and she succeeded. I’m sorry about that.”

Without wanting to, she remembered a conversation from their past. When she’d wanted the entry-level job at Buchanan’s and Cal had done his best to keep her from getting it. At the time he’d said he didn’t want her near Gloria. She’d laughed off his concern. How could the old woman hurt her? Now she knew there were probably a thousand ways.

“I can take care of myself,” she said. “Then and now.”

“Now I believe. But back then…”

“You’re acting as if my being hurt would have bothered you.”

“Of course it would have. You were my wife.”

The one you didn’t love. Only she didn’t think she could say that without him knowing she was still bruised inside.

“Look, Cal. We didn’t do well on the personal front when we were married and we obviously can’t do it well now. Let’s just keep things strictly business. It will be better for everyone that way.”

“But I want us to be friends.”

“Sometimes we don’t get what we want. Deal with it.”

PENNY PACED in the parking lot. Where was he? Reid was many things, but late wasn’t one of them. She glanced at her watch and groaned. If she didn’t want to miss her appointment, she was going to have to leave in the next two minutes.

Cal walked out of the restaurant. She eyed him suspiciously, especially as he had a coat on and was heading in her direction.

“Let’s go,” he said. “You want me to drive?”

She planted her hands on her hips. “What, exactly, are you talking about?”

“Your doctor’s appointment. You’re getting an ultrasound. I’m going with you.”

She glanced at him. As she hadn’t told him about the appointment, he must have been talking to Reid. Was this a conspiracy?

“Is Reid even going to show up?” she asked.

“I don’t know. He’s not here now, you need to leave and I want to come with you.”

“I’d rather go alone.”

His dark gaze searched her face. “Are you sure?”

No, dammit, she wasn’t sure. But she didn’t want to admit that to him.

Just then Reid drove into the parking lot. He pulled up in front of her. “Sorry I’m late. There was an accident on the bridge.”

“It’s okay. Park that thing and let’s go.”

Reid glanced between Penny and Cal. Cal moved closer to her.

“I’m going,” he said.

“No, he’s not. Reid, don’t you dare.”

Reid shrugged. “It’s better this way, Penny. You two need to talk. Besides, he’s seen you naked and I haven’t. It will be easier.”

“No, it won’t,” she yelled, but it was too late. He’d already driven off. She turned to Cal. “Did you tell him we slept together?”

“Of course not. He was talking about when we were married.” He put his hand at the small of her back and urged her toward her Volvo. “Come on. We’ll be late. Do you want me to drive?”

She was so upset, she handed him the keys without thinking. It was only after she’d climbed into the passenger side that she realized she’d abdicated authority to Cal. Jeez.

She couldn’t believe Reid had turned on her that way. “We’re supposed to be friends,” she muttered, feeling hurt and abandoned. “I’m going to have to explain that to him later.”

“He understands,” Cal said as he backed out of the parking space. “He’s trying to help.”

“Which one of us?” Penny muttered.

“Where are we going?”

She gave him the address, then settled back in her seat. “This is dumb. I would have been fine on my own.”

“You still can be. If you don’t want me in the room with you, I’ll wait outside.”

She swallowed. “Maybe that would be better,” she said, although she wasn’t sure she meant it. While she knew the ultrasound was a perfectly normal procedure, she couldn’t help being terrified by the thought of it. That’s why she’d asked Reid to come along. So she wouldn’t have to face it alone.

“What’s wrong?” Cal asked after about ten minutes of silence.

She stared straight ahead. “Nothing.”

“Do you have to go to the bathroom? Should I stop somewhere?”

“What?” She sounded deeply insulted. “No.”

“You’re fidgeting. I wondered why.”

She shifted in her seat and didn’t answer. Cal considered the possibilities—everything from her hating him so much she couldn’t stand to be in the car with him to—

“You’re nervous,” he said. “Why? Is there something you haven’t told Reid? Is there a problem with the baby?”

“No. Not that I know of. I don’t know. I’m just scared.”

Risking dismemberment, he reached out and took her hand in his. “I know. It’s because you lost the baby before and what if something is wrong this time.”

She sighed. “Yeah.”

“There’s no reason to think there’s any problem. You’ll be fine.”

“You don’t actually know that.”

“You don’t actually know I’m not telling the truth.”

She squeezed his fingers. “Okay. Maybe.”

He sensed her relaxing a little and decided it was a good idea to keep her distracted. “Reid mentioned you didn’t want to know the sex of the baby.”

“What else did you talk about?” she asked.

“I agree with you,” he said, ignoring the question. “There are too few good surprises in life these days.”

“Oh, please. You’re only saying that because you’re assuming I’m having a boy. Typical male. The whole world just lives to be your penis.”

He chuckled. “Something like that.”

They parked in the multilevel structure by the medical building. He followed her into the office.

The waiting room was uncomfortably cheerful and feminine and he was the only guy in sight. Despite feeling awkward, he was glad he’d come. Especially after Penny gave her name, took a seat and then grabbed his hand in hers.

“You can come in,” she said, not looking at him, but instead staring at the floor and speaking very quickly. “Tell me if you hear them talking about anything. I want to know.”

He turned and touched her chin so she met his gaze. “I promise.” Then he drew their clasped hands to his mouth and kissed her fingers. “Relax. Everything is going to be fine.”

“You don’t know that. And I’m only letting you be nice to me because I’m scared. Just so we’re clear, I’m still furious with you.”

He shook his head. “Okay, you can imagine ways to roast me over an open flame after the appointment.”

She was quiet for a while, then she said, “I appreciate you doing this.”

“Why wouldn’t I be willing? It’s not that big a deal.”

She looked at him. “What do you think is going to happen?”

He didn’t like that question. Or the gleam in her eye. “It’s an ultrasound. They rub goop on your belly.”

The nurse called her name. Penny stood and smiled at Cal.

“Sorry, no. We’re not doing it that way.”

“What other way is there to see the baby?” He frowned as he followed her.

“From the inside,” she said smugly.

The inside? How the hell would they get a probe…

“You’re kidding.”

“YOU WERE GOING to let Reid see this?” Cal asked fifteen minutes later as Penny lay on a table in a small room filled with equipment.

“He was going to stand by my head, which is where you’ll be standing.”

“I’m fine with that. Better than fine. Happy, even.” He might have recently seen Penny naked and touched every inch of her, but he wasn’t excited about watching an intimate medical exam.

“If you start to get queasy, close your eyes and think of England,” she said with a grin.

“I’m not British,” he muttered as the door opened and the doctor stepped into the room.

“Good morning,” she said. “How are you feeling, Penny?”

“Good. Nervous. This is Cal. He’s a friend.”

“I know you’re not the father,” the doctor said. “I did the IVF procedure. Hi. I’m Dr. Robins.” She shook hands with Cal, then turned her attention to Penny. “Don’t be nervous. We’re only doing this to check on the baby. There’s no reason for any of us to think something’s wrong.”

“I know. It’s just…you know. What happened last time.”

“Yes, I know.” The doctor checked her folder, then reached for the paper sheet covering Penny’s bottom half. “All right. Let’s see what your little guy looks like.”

Cal did his best to ignore what was happening. He held Penny’s hand, only half listened to the conversation and thought about the restaurant. When that didn’t work, he considered the yearly question of whether or not the Mariners would make it to the World Series. Now that Reid wasn’t playing baseball, he didn’t have to worry about divided loyalties.

“There we go,” the doctor said.

“Oh, look,” Penny whispered.

Cal turned to the screen and saw something moving. It was just a bunch of light and dark patches. Not anything he recognized. Then the picture shifted and sharpened.

“Is that the head?” he asked.

“Uh-huh. There we go. A head, the body. Arms and legs.”

“Just two of each, right?” Penny asked anxiously. She tightened her grip on Cal’s hand.

“Just two. Everything looks normal.” She clicked a switch and the room filled with the sound of the baby’s heartbeat.

Seeing the infant move, hearing its heart, was incredibly profound. Until that moment, Cal hadn’t connected Penny’s pregnancy with actual life. Her first pregnancy had ended before they got to this stage and he realized now that in some ways, it hadn’t been real to him, either.

She was having a baby. A real baby who would grow up to be an actual person.

He stared down at her, seeing her smile, watching tears fill her eyes. How could she be so damn confident that she was willing to take this on by herself?

But he already had the answer. He could see it in the love in her eyes. She’d always wanted children. At first with him, and when he screwed that up, then any way she could.

The magnitude of what he’d lost slammed into him. A wife. A family. They had all been his to lose and he had. She’d truly loved him. Sure, intellectually he’d known but until this exact second, he hadn’t gotten it down deep.

Why hadn’t he believed? Why hadn’t he known how much he’d let drift away? She’d accused him of letting her go, of almost not being surprised that she’d left and she’d been right. He’d been waiting for her to walk out from the first day they met.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

PENNY FELT a profound sense of relief. It was as if she hadn’t been able to draw in a deep breath for weeks.

“Pretty amazing,” she said from the passenger seat of her Volvo.

“The picture was detailed,” Cal said. “You could see everything.”

“And more than you wanted to,” she teased. “Were you completely grossed out?”

“No.” He hesitated. “Okay, I didn’t need her showing us the hole that was going to be the stomach.”

Penny laughed. “That was a little strange,” she admitted. “But very cool.” All of it had been a miracle. “The baby seems so real now. I knew I was pregnant before, but seeing it like that while hearing the heartbeat…”

“It changed everything,” he said.

“Exactly. And I was very tempted to ask about the gender. It would help with getting the nursery ready. The clothes and stuff.”

“Do newborns wear clothes?” he asked.

“Oh. Good point. There’s not a formal wardrobe, but they do have things to sleep in. I have some books on babies. I guess I should start reading that part.”

“The chapter on fashion accessories?” he asked.

She smiled. “Sure. I don’t want my baby being out of step with what’s in style.” She angled toward him. “Thank you for coming with me,” she said. “I would have hated to do this alone.”

“I’m glad I was there, too,” he said. “But Reid would have come.”

She nodded. “I know, but he would have freaked out.” There’d been something intimate about the experience. While she and Reid were great friends, they’d never shared stuff like that.

She looked at Cal. Happiness, anger and sadness blended uneasily. She’d wanted this experience for them. She’d wanted to have children with him.

How involved had he been with Alison’s pregnancy? How much of his presence here was to smooth things over? She believed he was genuinely sorry he’d hurt her, and that he hadn’t withheld the truth to be vicious, but she suspected he would have been content to keep his daughter a secret forever.

“I’m sorry about our baby,” he said.

She stared at him in surprise. “What do you mean?”

“I’m sorry we lost it.” He shrugged. “I felt bad before, when it happened, but until today, the experience wasn’t real. Intellectually I knew you were pregnant back then, but I didn’t think about you having a baby. Sorry. I’m not making sense.”

“No, you are.” She understood how he could have been more disconnected from the experience. It hadn’t been happening to his body. She just wasn’t sure she believed him.

“I missed out on a lot,” he said, staring straight ahead. “It’s sad, for both of us.”

Wow. Cal admitting to an emotion. “I’m sad, too,” she told him. “But it was for the best.”

“You losing the baby?”

She nodded. “There’s a reason that sort of thing happens. There was probably something wrong with it and it wouldn’t have survived anyway.”

“I thought you were going to say it was for the best because we got a divorce.”

“That’s a factor, but not a big one,” she said. “We would have figured out how to be parents without being together.”

Not that she’d ever expected to be a single mother. Yet here she was, making it happen.

“You were right before,” he said. “About me expecting you to leave. I was. Right from the beginning. Even when we got married, I always thought the relationship was temporary.”

“Why? What did I ever say or do to make you think that?”

“It wasn’t you.” He gave her a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “You were in it for the long haul. It was me. How I was raised. What I believed. There are a lot of reasons that aren’t that interesting. But I wanted you to know you were right.” He glanced at her again. “It’s one of your favorite things.”

“Usually,” she murmured, stunned by his confession. “This time I would have accepted being wrong.” She hesitated, then asked. “If that’s how you felt, why did you marry me?”

“I wanted to be wrong.”

“But you weren’t. I did leave.”

“You left to get my attention. I’m the one who let you go. I had a good thing with you, Penny,” he said. “When you left, I lost something I’ll never be able to replace.”

“Thank you for saying that. I always wondered if you’d even noticed I was gone.”

“I noticed.”

“Just not enough to come after me.”

He glanced at her. “You’re still mad about Lindsey.”

“Mad doesn’t cover it, Cal. It’s not like you were hiding a tattoo. You kept a huge part of your life separate from me. Not just that you had a daughter, but that you loved her so much, you couldn’t love anyone else.”

“That’s not true.”

“Isn’t it?”

“Penny, you were my wife. I wanted…”

“What? To stay together forever? To have a family?”

“I wanted us to make it.”

“I don’t believe you. I think you wanted to be alone with your guilt. At least your lack of interest wasn’t about me specifically. You would have done this to anyone.”

His hands tightened on the steering wheel. “You’re not going to give me a break, are you?”

“Do you deserve one? You fundamentally changed everything about our past. I’m still dealing.”

“Are you going to be able to work with me?”

“Offering to leave?” she asked.

“If it helps.”

Would it? “I meant what I said. I don’t hate you.”

“Will we ever be friends again?”

Friends? They’d been married before. They now worked together and just about a week ago, they’d been lovers. She wasn’t sure they’d ever been friends.

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I’m not sure it’s…”

Suddenly she felt a fluttering in her stomach. Her breath caught.

“What?” he asked. “Are you okay?”

“I’m great. It’s the baby. It’s moving.”

He smiled at her. “Yeah? What does it feel like?”

Anger and hurt battled with a need to share the wonder. She hesitated a second, then pulled up her sweater and placed his hand on her bare stomach.

“Can you feel it?” she asked. “It’s right there.”

He glanced at her, his eyes wide, his mouth parted in amazement. “I can feel it. Not a kick. More of a brushing.”

“Yes. That’s it.”

They smiled at each other, then he turned his attention back to the road. Still, he kept his hand on her stomach and she kept her hand on top of his. The moment seemed to stretch on endlessly. Despite everything, they were connected.

He’d been so much a part of her past and now he was in her present. She wanted to hate him and couldn’t.

At least she no longer loved him. Only a fool would want her heart broken by the same man twice.

CAL CHECKED over the figures from the previous night. He glanced up as his office door opened and Dani stepped inside.

“Hi,” he said before he realized she was crying. He stood and walked around to hug her. “What’s wrong?”

Instead of answering, her tears turned into sobs. Her whole body shook as he held her. He felt her pain, even if he didn’t know what caused it, and he was more than willing to go do battle on her behalf.

“Whose ass do I have to kick?” he asked, as he rubbed her back and kissed the top of her head.

“I w-wish it was that simple,” she said, her voice muffled against his chest. She straightened and looked into his eyes. “It’s Hugh.”

Cal grimaced. He wasn’t comfortable picking a fight with a guy in a wheelchair, but if necessary…“What did he do?”

“He left me.”

“What?” Cal had expected to hear anything from a major disagreement to the unlikely statement of an affair. But not this.

“He left me,” she repeated.

“Not possible. He loves you.” What he was really thinking was that Hugh owed her. After his accident, she’d been the one to stand by him, to insist that they were still getting married, even if he was never going to walk again. She’d loved him and bullied him when necessary, all with the goal of making him want to live, despite being paralyzed from the waist down. She’d stayed at Burger Heaven to keep their insurance so he could continue with his physical therapy.

She’d succeeded. Hugh had slowly returned to the land of the living and he’d carved out a good life for himself.

“Maybe you misunderstood him.”

She gave a strangled laugh and walked to one of the chairs by his desk. He took the other, then leaned toward her and grabbed her hand.

“I don’t get it,” he said.

“That makes two of us.” She wiped her cheeks with her free hand, then fished in her coat pocket for a tissue. “I told him I wanted to talk about in vitro fertilization. We were going to need some help to get pregnant and I thought this was a good time. Okay, I was a little selfish because I knew I wasn’t going anywhere at Burger Heaven and I thought maybe this would distract me. Being a mom and all.” She sniffed. “It’s not that I didn’t want kids, it’s just that I thought I’d have my career together first.”

He tucked her short hair behind her ears. “So what happened when you mentioned getting pregnant?”

“He said he didn’t want to.” The waterworks started up again. “At first I thought it was about money, because the procedure is really expensive, but it wasn’t. He said that he wanted a divorce. He said he’d outgrown m-me.”

He shifted his chair closer, then pulled her close. She rested her forehead on his shoulder.

“He said he’s been growing and changing and I haven’t. He’s on the tenure track and I’m just the manager of Burger Heaven.” She looked at him. “He threw that in my face. As if I haven’t been trying to move up in the company. As if I hadn’t stayed there for him. I work damn hard. Harder than anyone has in that job.”

He cupped her head and kissed her nose. “That’s true. Even than me. You’ve been great and Gloria has never noticed.”

“That’s what I said. Hugh told me I was getting bitter and he didn’t want to live with someone like that. He didn’t want to live with me anymore.”

She stood up and shrugged off her jacket. “I can’t believe it. How dare he? I was there for him. I’ve always been there for him. He got really depressed after the accident. I don’t blame him, but he wasn’t very fun to be around. And I was there. Even more than his parents. But does he appreciate that? Does it matter now? No. He’s grown. La de da. He’s so sanctimonious. I really hate him.”

Cal thought about pointing out that hating Hugh would make the divorce easier, but something in his male brain told him to keep quiet.

“We’re short nearly five pounds of—” Penny looked up from the clipboard she held. “Oh, sorry. I didn’t know you had company.” She paused, then frowned. “Dani, are you all right?”

Dani sucked in a breath. “Hugh wants a divorce.”

“Oh, honey.” Penny dropped the clipboard onto the bookcase and held out her arms. Dani walked into them.

“He says he’s outgrown me,” his sister said.

“Men are such bastards.”

Cal wanted to protest, but he kept quiet. This was not the time to defend his gender.

“I was there for him. I loved him. I still love him,” Dani said.

Penny stroked her hair. “So do you want to try to work things out?”

“No. If he doesn’t want me, then that’s fine. I won’t be married to him. I don’t need him.” She started to cry again. “It just hurts. I loved him and he doesn’t love me back.”

Cal felt his sister’s pain and a good-sized serving of guilt. Was this what Penny had gone through when she’d left him and he hadn’t come after her?

“What do you want?” Penny asked. “Do you want him to suffer?”

“Yes. Big time. Cal offered to beat him up.”

Penny looked at him and smiled. “Your brother is a very good man. But, and no offense, Cal, I think Walker would do a better job.”

Dani straightened. “Oh, you’re right. The military training.”

She was as close to smiling as he’d seen all morning. He rose and moved next to her.

“What do you really want?” he asked.

“A good lawyer.”

“I can help you find one.”

“Okay.” She glanced at both of them and then the tears flowed again. “He wants me to file. Can you believe it? He said he was busy with finals coming up and would I please take care of the paperwork.”

He and Penny hugged her. Dani sighed. “I’d tell Walker to break his legs, but that would be redundant, wouldn’t it?”

He hugged tighter. Dani clung to him. “What is Gloria going to say? I don’t want to tell her.”

“Then don’t,” Penny said.

Dani looked at her. “But I have to.”

“Why? She’s just your grandmother, not the local oracle. She doesn’t see all and know all. Frankly, as mean as she’s been to you, I wouldn’t say a word. Why give her the satisfaction?”

Dani actually smiled. “I want to be just like you when I grow up.”

PENNY HAD JUST FINISHED the tasting for the afternoon, allowing the staff to sample the specials, when Gloria walked in.

“At least she missed Dani by a couple of hours,” Penny murmured to Naomi as Gloria walked toward her. Luckily Cal had gone back to The Daily Grind for a big meeting.

“Want a meat cleaver?”

Penny grinned. “Don’t tempt me.”

She forced herself to smile as the older woman shrugged out of her fur-trimmed coat and slung it over her arm.

“Good afternoon, Penny.”

“Gloria. How nice to see you. I’m surprised to see you back here in the kitchen.”

Gloria raised her perfectly plucked eyebrows. “You and Cal might think you’re in charge, but I still am the majority stockholder in the corporation.”

A fact which probably explained the lack of a bonus system.

“So you’re here officially?” Penny asked. “Let’s adjourn to my office.”

While she didn’t want to be with Gloria under any circumstances, let alone in the close confines of her office, she wasn’t willing to take her on in public. Given what the old bat had dropped the last time she’d been here, who knew what havoc she wanted to wreak today?

“Cal can’t join us,” Penny said. “He’s not here. Should we reschedule?” Unlikely, but a girl had to have dreams.

“No. You’re the one I came to see.” Gloria paused and looked around at the large space. “Cal’s office is much smaller than this.”

“Yes, it is.”

“Shouldn’t he have had the larger office?”

“Nope.”

“Are you going to offer me something to drink?”

“Do you want something?”

“Not really.”

“Then, no. I’m not.” Penny smiled. “Any other questions?”

Gloria frowned. “I’m here because I’ve received several complaints about the food.”

“Really? I’m surprised. We haven’t had any.”

Which wasn’t precisely the truth. There were the usual number of people wanting their fish to taste like something it wasn’t or insisting on impossibly overcooked meals that were then not as good as they should have been. But nothing out of the ordinary.

“You seem very proud of your fish and chips and yet I’ve been told the dish is very substandard. It’s really not the sort of thing we should be serving at a restaurant this elegant.”

Penny was pretty happy with herself for continuing to see the humor in the situation.

“Interesting point,” she said, “but here’s the thing. While you might be the major stockholder of the corporation, I don’t actually work for you. And even if I did, I have a funky little contract that contains a clause saying that I determine what’s served to our customers. Just me. I try to be open-minded and accept other people’s input, but it’s my name on the top of the menu.”

Gloria glared at her. “I don’t know why Cal agreed to let you have that much control. It’s ridiculous.”

“Maybe, but there we are. Now if you’re receiving complaints, that worries me. Why don’t you give me the names of the people who are unhappy and their phone numbers? I would love to talk to them personally and then invite them back for a free dinner.”

She waited, fairly sure that Gloria couldn’t give her the information as the complaints weren’t real.

Gloria leaned back in her chair. “He’s not going to marry you, you know. I don’t know if you thought you could appeal to him by being pregnant, but you can’t. You already left him once. Callister isn’t likely to be fooled again.”

Penny bit down on her lower lip. It took all her moral character and inner strength not to tell the old woman that she and Cal had had sex. Not just once, but for a whole night. Over and over again. Like rabbits.

But she held back. This being mature thing was starting to become a habit. Besides, she wasn’t interested in Cal—not in that way.

“If he did show any interest in you,” Gloria continued. “I would be forced to cut him off.”

“Financially,” Penny clarified.

“Yes.”

“As he’s made millions with The Daily Grind, I don’t see that as a big problem.” Penny stood. “I don’t know what you want, Gloria, but you’re not going to get it here. Go torture someone else. I’m not interested in your games.”

Gloria rose. “You can’t dismiss me.”

“Seems that she just did,” Naomi said from the doorway. “I couldn’t help overhearing some of that. Wow. It’s all so ugly.” Naomi smiled broadly. “While we’re sharing, I’ve slept with Reid and Walker. Not at the same time, of course, because that would be tacky. But both of them. That should give you something to chew on.”

“Slut,” Gloria hissed.

Naomi laughed. “If that’s the best you can do, I’m not sure why so many people are afraid of you.”

Gloria grabbed her coat and walked out. Naomi moved over to the desk and she and Penny gave each other a high five.

“Talk about someone needing an attitude adjustment,” Naomi said. “You okay?”

“I’m fine.” Penny eyed her friend. “Are you really sleeping with Walker?”

“I just saved your butt. How about thanking me and offering me a big raise?”

“I appreciate the rescue, even if I didn’t need it. Are you really sleeping with Walker?”

Naomi shrugged. “Just once. It was nice, but now it’s over.” She frowned. “We’re friends. Weird, because I don’t believe in guy friends, but there we are.”

Penny didn’t know what to say. First of all, Naomi loved to talk about her conquests. She always said that was nearly the best part. Second, friends?

“Don’t look so confused,” Naomi said. “He’s different. I like him.”

“Like as in romantic affection?”

“No. Just like as in like.” Her expression tightened. “This is private information and you are never to talk about it with anyone.”

Penny grinned. “Blackmail material. Cool.”

CAL RETURNED to the restaurant just before five. As he walked into the kitchen, he smiled at the familiar chaos that preceded the genius that was Penny’s menu.

“How’s it going?” he asked, raising his voice to be heard over the noise.

“Great,” Penny said.

Naomi reached for two salads. “Your grandmother was here and threatened Penny.”

He swore. “I warned her if she meddled, I would walk.”

Penny shook her head, as if warning him off. Naomi rolled her eyes.

“Oh, right. She acts up and you bail. So we’re stuck having to deal with her on our own. Very manly. Remind me to call you first in a crisis.”

With that, she picked up a third salad, spun and walked out of the kitchen.

“I haven’t even taken my coat off and I’ve lost a battle with her,” he said.

Penny sighed. “With Naomi, it’s a real gift. She can make any man think he’s incapable of winning. I tried to get you to stop, but no. You had to keep talking.”

He eyed her. “You seem plenty cheerful. Obviously Gloria didn’t do any serious damage.”

“I held my own.”

“Did Gloria stop by to see you or me?”

“Me,” Penny said.

“What did she want to talk about?”

“The usual. How she was important and I wasn’t. Then Naomi popped in to tell her she was sleeping with Reid and Walker. I would say it was a draw.”

“Remind me to thank her later.”

He dumped his coat in his office, then toured the dining room. They were booked through nine, which wasn’t bad for a Wednesday night. The tables were already full and there were several couples waiting in the bar.

He returned to the kitchen. “Looks good out there,” he told Penny. “Want to tell me the real reason Gloria stopped by?”

“Not especially.”

“Because?”

“Because it doesn’t matter. She’s a bitter old woman and she wants everyone else in her sphere to be equally unhappy. I refuse.”

“Good for you,” he told her. He sidestepped a cook lugging a huge pot of clam chowder. “I should get out of your way.”

“Yes, you should,” she said, but she was smiling.

There was something about her eyes, he thought. They were so pretty. And her smile. Before he realized what was going on, the wanting had returned. Funny how the past week had sort of sucked it out of him. Her anger, the baby, everything else. But now he could imagine taking her to bed.

Talk about twisted, he told himself and started toward his office.

Naomi stepped into the kitchen. “Cal, there’s someone here to see you. Tracy somebody. Are you dating her? Do I need to let the air out of your tires?”

“Tracy?” He only knew one woman by that name. “Lindsey’s mom?”

Penny moved to his side. “Does she come to see you often?”

“Almost never. The last time was when Lindsey was sick. She wanted to tell me in person.” His insides clutched. Had the cancer returned?

No. He shook off the fear. He’d seen her less than two weeks ago at the school play and she’d looked great. Without thinking, he took Penny’s hand.

“Maybe she wants to meet me.” After all this time, maybe his daughter had decided she wanted to know about him.

Still holding Penny’s hand, he walked out of the kitchen. She shuffled along behind him.

“I shouldn’t be here,” she said.

“Yes, you should. I was there for you, with the baby.”

“This isn’t the same.”

He glanced at her. “It might be the closest I’m going to get.”

He recognized Tracy at once. She stood by the hostess station. But as he got closer, he saw the worry in her eyes and the pain in her expression.

He swore. This was not a happy woman. This was a frightened mother.

“What happened?” he asked.

Tracy glanced from him to Penny. “It’s Lindsey. I’m sorry to come here like this. I called your office and they said I could find you here.”

Cal gripped Penny’s hand harder. He knew. Just looking at Tracy, he knew the truth. “The cancer’s back.”

Tracy paled. “Yes. There have been signs for a few weeks. Apparently Lindsey did her best to keep them from us. She was determined to star in her school play, but she collapsed after the show that night. They’ve been doing tests, but we all knew…” She twisted her hands together.

“When it comes back like this,” she said, “so aggressively, they want to do more than chemo. They want to try a bone marrow transplant. I came here to find out if you’d be willing to be tested.”

“Of course. Right away. I can get in touch with Alison as well.” Although he had no idea where the woman was, her parents still lived in Seattle.

“Thank you.” Tracy shivered. “We love her so much. She’s our baby girl. When she was sick before and then got better, we were all so hopeful.” She swallowed. “Cal, you’ve been so good to us. You’ve never tried to get involved in her life.”

“She didn’t want that.” It hurt him to speak the words.

“I know, but you didn’t have to respect her wishes and you did. You’ve asked for so little. I…Tom and I have been talking and we think maybe it’s time for her to meet you.”

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

“I WANT YOU TO KNOW this is the first time I’ve resented your pregnancy,” Naomi said as she reached for a tortilla chip covered in cheese.

“I know,” Penny said from her place across the small table. “I understand completely. In your position, I’d feel the same way.”

Naomi made an inelegant sound that was halfway between a scoff and a snort. “Oh, please. I’m a much better person than you are. In my position, you’d be making margaritas.”

Penny laughed. “You’re probably right.”

Her friend had arrived less than a hour ago, bearing the fixings for nachos. After announcing she was in the mood to get drunk, she’d handed the food over to Penny and told her to have at it. As Naomi wasn’t the type to drink alone, she would accept eating as a poor substitute.

“I did my best with the nachos,” she said.

“They’re good,” Naomi said grudgingly. “But I’m still deeply offended that you’re pregnant at a time when I really need alcohol and someone to share it with.”

Penny didn’t point out that there was a massive list of men who would be oh-so-happy to indulge with Naomi. Penny had a feeling this was a “girls only” kind of thing.

“Have you heard any more about Lindsey?” her friend asked.

“Just that we’re waiting to find out if Cal’s a match. It shouldn’t be much longer. Another day or so. He’s really hoping he is. He wants to be the one to save his daughter.”

“What father wouldn’t?”

A fact that filled Penny with ambivalence. On the one hand, who could resent a man who loved the child he’d given up for adoption? On the other hand, who could trust a man who couldn’t open his heart to anyone else?

If he’d just told her everything all those years ago. She would have understood…eventually. Instead he’d withdrawn until he hadn’t wanted her or their baby.

“I hope it works out for Lindsey,” Penny said. “The poor kid has been through enough already. Apparently she had chemo when she was first diagnosed. That can’t have been fun. With the cancer returning, a bone marrow transplant is her best hope.”

“Any news on the Alison front?”

“She’s not a good match so everyone is hoping Cal is. If not him, they’ll have to look elsewhere, starting with his immediate family. At least if they find a donor, Lindsey will have a real chance of beating this once and for all.”

“I know I’ve had my issues with Cal,” Naomi said, reaching for more chips. “But I hope he’s a match. He needs to save someone.”

Penny looked at her. “Why do you say that?”

“Near as I can figure, it’s a Buchanan family trait. Not that any of them have managed it yet. I think it comes from Gloria, the way she emotionally beat up on them when they were kids.”

While Penny didn’t dispute Naomi’s assessment, she wondered about the source of her information. Had it come from Reid or Walker, or both?

The temptation to ask was strong, but she resisted. If Naomi wanted to tell her, she would.

“It’s just sad that they lost both their parents within a year of each other,” Penny said quietly. “I know Cal always felt he had to be the strong one. I never thought of it in terms of having to save anyone.” She remembered how he’d wanted to keep her out of the Buchanan dynasty because he’d been afraid of what Gloria would do. “Or maybe I didn’t see it.”

“Dani’s the only one who keeps trying to please that bitch.”

She was fighting a losing battle, Penny thought. Gloria would never accept Dani because she wasn’t a Buchanan.

She wondered if Cal had told his sister the truth, then figured he hadn’t had the time. But he needed to and soon. If he didn’t, Penny had a bad feeling it would come back to bite him in the ass.

“Just talking about Cal and his family makes me realize how normal I am,” Penny said. “Who would have thought that was possible?”

“What are you talking about? You’re not so bad.”

“I’m pregnant through a medical procedure by a man I’ll never meet, and working for my ex-husband.” Sleeping with him as well, she thought, although she didn’t say that. Naomi might have guessed, but she wouldn’t ask and Penny wouldn’t confirm anything.

But speaking of people sleeping together…“How’s the friendship thing working out with you and Walker?” she asked.

“Fine.”

“Ha. Like I believe that. There’s something you’re not telling me.”

There had to be. Naomi was actually squirming in her seat. Penny had never seen her act this way about a guy.

“Are you in love with him?” she asked, trying not to sound too incredulous.

“What? No. Of course not.” Naomi wrinkled her nose. “It’s not like that at all.”

“Then what?”

“Nothing. It’s nothing.” She sighed. “We don’t even have sex anymore.” She reached for her can of soda. “We’re friends, which is strange.”

Penny didn’t know what to think. “When you say you’re not having sex, you mean…”

Naomi shrugged. “No sex. Honestly, I can’t imagine us ever doing it again. We don’t…we…talk.”

“Talking is good.”

“No, it’s not. This isn’t natural. Friends with a man. Oh, please.”

Penny did her best to keep from smiling. “So you’re having a relationship. That’s great.”

“No, it’s odd. This is nothing romantic and yet I care about him. I don’t want to care about anyone.”

“You care about me.”

Her friend smiled. “Yes, I do, but girl love is different. Caring about a guy…”

Her voice trailed off as sadness filled her eyes. She looked at Penny. “I might have to leave.”

Penny had a feeling she didn’t just mean that evening. Panic and pain gripped her. She needed Naomi and she would miss her horribly if she went away.

“Want to tell me why?”

Her friend smiled. “Thanks for not instantly saying I can’t.”

“I want to, but I’m holding back.”

Naomi reached for another chip. “I have family back in Ohio. Parents. A couple of brothers and sisters. A husband.” She chewed then swallowed. “Actually, I’m not sure about the husband. He might have divorced me. I’ve been gone a long time.”

Penny blinked. “I don’t know what to say. You never mentioned anyone.”

“I didn’t just hatch.”

Penny had always figured there had to be someone. But a whole family? A husband?

“Something happened,” Naomi continued. “I don’t want to get into it, but I did something bad and I couldn’t live with myself. Or them. So I left. I just drove and I ended up here. I met you a few weeks later.”

Penny felt her heart breaking. She didn’t want to lose her friend. “If you think you have to go back, it’s fine.”

Naomi scowled at her. “You’re going to be brave, aren’t you? Dammit, I hate that. I don’t want to leave, but I think it’s time. I have to go mend some fences. I think I’m still in love with him. Talk about insane.”

Penny nodded because if she spoke, she would start to cry.

“I wouldn’t just leave you,” Naomi said. “I’d make sure there were some people in place. To help with the baby and at the restaurant.”

“I’ll be fine,” Penny said. “Don’t worry about me.”

Naomi gone! It wasn’t possible. Who else would she talk to in the middle of the night when she’d just watched a sad movie and couldn’t stop crying? Who else would understand the need to never eat blue M& M’s on even days of the month? Who else would coach her through delivery and stay with her for the first couple of weeks after the baby was born?

Naomi swore and got to her feet.

“What?” Penny asked.

“You’re crying.”

Penny sniffed. “It doesn’t mean anything. I’m hormonal.”

She stood and her friend walked around the table. They held on to each other.

“You’re the best friend I’ve ever had,” Naomi whispered. “I won’t ever forget that.”

“Me, either.”

Naomi sighed. “See. This is why love sucks. If I didn’t love you, I wouldn’t care if I had to leave.”

“If you didn’t love me after all we’ve been through, I’d throw a meat cleaver at your head.”

DANI GLARED at Cal. “I can’t believe you never told me you had a daughter. All this time.” Her gaze narrowed. “Walker and Reid know, don’t they? You guys always stick together.”

Cal put his arm around Dani as they walked from the parking lot on the University of Washington campus. “I didn’t know they knew, if that makes you feel any better. I thought it was a secret.”

“Oh, right. I swear, it’s like living in a soap opera. I keep expecting to hear the smooth-voiced guy murmuring in the background. ‘While Dani is unaware of her brother’s illegitimate child, Lindsey has dealt with cancer. Of course Dani is an idiot for marrying a jerk like Hugh. More after the commercial break.’ It really pisses me off.”

“The guy?”

“No. You. What other secrets are there?”

He could think of only one really big one and he wasn’t going there today. Dani had enough to deal with.

“Like I said, I didn’t know Reid and Walker had heard me fighting with Gloria about Lindsey back when I was in high school. I didn’t deliberately keep the information from you.”

“But you didn’t tell me when you found out the guys knew.”

“You had stuff on your mind.”

She sighed. “I’m all grown up, Cal. You can stop trying to protect me from the world.”

“Sorry, that’s part of the job description.”

She linked her arm through his and leaned against him. “You’re a good big brother.”

“Thanks.”

While he appreciated the compliment, he wasn’t sure he’d earned it. Penny had told him to come clean with Dani and he planned to. Soon. But not today.

“Are you sure about this?” he asked.

She patted her jacket pocket. “Completely. I’m not paying some guy to serve Hugh the papers when I can do it myself. Plus I want to see the look in his eyes. He won’t be expecting me. Some small discomfort on his part isn’t a whole lot of reward, I know, but it’s all I’m going to get.” She glanced at her watch. “He has office hours now. Maybe he’ll have students in with him. That would be exciting.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, not sure how to make things better for her.

“Don’t be. I don’t like how Hugh handled things with me, but I’m no longer questioning the divorce. Don’t get me wrong. I’m still furious. I gave him so much of my life and to have him tell me he outgrew me makes me want to back the car over all of his possessions. He practically sucked the life out of me and now he’s acting all noble. But the truth is I don’t love him. I haven’t for a while.”

That was a relief. Bad enough Dani had to go through this. Had she been heartbroken, it would have been so much worse.

“Maybe you’ll like being single,” he said.

“I’m kind of looking forward to it,” she admitted. “I went from a college dorm to married. I’ve never had my own place.”

“Do you know where you’re going to move?”

“No. Part of me wants to make Hugh move. After all, this was his idea. But handicap accessible apartments are hard to find.” She turned right on the path. “But it really bugs me that this is all his idea and I’m the only one inconvenienced.” She shook her head. “Let’s change the subject. The campus looks pretty.”

Cal glanced around. Spring had arrived and there were tulips in bloom everywhere. The ground was wet from recent rain, but the sky was a bright blue.

“I have a lot of memories here,” he said.

“I can imagine the parties—and the girls—you indulged in,” Dani said. “I, of course, only studied.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, right. I remember getting more than one call from you because you didn’t want to drive back to the dorm after a party.”

“Hey, at least I didn’t try driving.”

“Did I ever complain?”

“There was that one time. I distinctly remember a disgruntled female voice in the background. Hmm, could it have been Penny?”

“Maybe.”

“She’s great, you know.”

“I agree.”

“You two are doing a terrific job at The Waterfront.”

Cal glanced at her. “I’m sorry about that. Not the success, but that Gloria didn’t offer you the restaurant.”

“No offense, but me, too. Still, it’s done. Once I get Hugh served and move out, I’m going to have a big sit-down with Gloria and lay it on the line. Either she gives me something more to do or I’m quitting.”

He didn’t know what to say. “You would leave the company?”

“Watch me. Here it is.”

She pointed at the flight of stairs, then led the way up to Hugh’s office on the second floor. Dani walked down the hall and stopped in front of one of the closed doors.

When she tried the handle, it didn’t turn.

“Locked,” she said. “But it’s his office hours.” She glanced at the card by the door to confirm the times Hugh was supposed to be there. “Weird.”

She listened for a second, then knocked. “Hugh?”

There was a muffled noise, then a bump. Dani looked at Cal. “Okay, I don’t like that.”

Cal was with her on that one. He had a bad feeling. “Let’s come back.”

Her mouth pulled straight as she dug into her purse. “I don’t think so. Dammit all to hell, if that bastard…” She pulled out a key chain and searched through the keys. When she inserted one into the lock, Cal nearly pulled her back.

“You don’t want to know,” he said, putting a hand on her arm. “Let’s go.”

She shrugged him off. “Don’t you think I have a right?”

With that she pushed open the door. Hugh sat in his wheelchair, his shirt open. A young woman, probably a student, stood next to him. Her hair was mussed and she’d nearly finished buttoning her blouse.

“Dani.” Hugh sounded surprised and wary. “I didn’t know you were going to come by.”

“Obviously.” She looked between Hugh and the woman. “So, you want a divorce because you’ve grown as a person? If this is your idea of personal growth, I’m not interested. I would think of it more as being small, petty and a cheater. But hey, I’m just in the restaurant business. I probably wouldn’t understand something this complex. I wonder what your department chair is going to say when she finds out you’ve been getting so close to your students?” She held out the papers. “Consider yourself served.”

The student shifted uncomfortably. Her face was bright red, and she kept touching her hair. “I, ah—”

“Did you know he was married?” Dani asked, then shook her head. “Never mind. I have a piece of advice for you. I doubt you’ll take it, but here it is. If he’ll cheat with you, he’ll cheat on you.” She turned back to Hugh. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am I wasted so much of my life on you. You weren’t worth it.”

She walked out of the office. “Let’s go,” she told Cal.

“I want to hit him.”

“I appreciate that, but I think I’ll clobber him financially, instead. I was going to be fair and kind during the divorce. Not anymore.”

He reached for her hand and felt her trembling. “I’m sorry.”

“Me, too.”

Hugh rolled into the hallway. “Dani, I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to find out this way.”

She stopped and looked back at him. “How did you want me to find out, Hugh? What’s the best way to tell your wife that you want a divorce so you can screw someone else? You should have told me the truth. I would have been angry but I wouldn’t have thought you were such an asshole.”

She walked away.

“Dani! Come back.”

She shook her head and kept walking.

“Just one punch,” Cal said.

“Thanks, but no. It’s fine.” They reached the stairs and she hurried down them. “This is good. I’d actually been wondering what I could have done to make things better between us. I won’t be doing that anymore.”

They reached the outside. Dani stopped walking and covered her face with her hands. “My whole life totally sucks. I don’t have a career or a marriage. I hate this.”

He pulled her close and let her cry against him. “Things will get better.”

“When? I want a date. Tell me when.”

He stroked her hair. “I’m sorry, Dani. I don’t know. But soon.”

“Promise?”

“Yeah.”

“POOR KID,” Penny said. “I can’t believe Hugh was cheating. I always thought he was a decent guy.”

“We all thought that,” Cal told her. “Guess we were wrong.”

“It’s good you didn’t hit him. I don’t care how strong he is, he’s in a wheelchair and you’re a big, burly guy. No way you would have won that in court.”

Cal shrugged and she could see he didn’t much care about the ramifications of his actions. Someone he cared about was hurt and he wanted to lash out.

Funny how she’d never noticed that about him when they’d been married. She’d never seen his protective streak for what it was. Instead of appreciating what he was trying to do and looking for compromise, she’d rebelled against what she’d thought was unreasonable behavior.

She sank lower into the chair and closed her eyes as he continued to push his thumbs into the ball of her right foot.

“You’re really good at this,” she said, enjoying the massage. “I spend my life standing. Most of the time I don’t mind it but lately I’ve been in some serious pain.”

“You’re pregnant.”

She opened one eye and smiled. “I’d heard that rumor. Where did you learn to do foot massage? One of the many women you dated after our divorce? Or did you know it while we were married and keep the information from me?”

“I took a class on the Internet,” he joked. “Just relax and enjoy.”

“I might have to make moany noises.”

“Have at it.”

She gave herself up to the slow, steady massage. There was something erotic about having Cal rub her bare foot. Or maybe it was the fact that when he concentrated on her toes, her heel seemed to end up pressing against his—

Don’t go there, she told herself. Not tonight. Maybe not ever. There hadn’t been a repeat performance—no surprise, given the emotional roller coaster they’d been on for the past few weeks.

In some ways they were getting along better than ever. In other ways, he was more of a stranger than she could imagine. Neither of which kept her from lying awake in bed at night and wishing he were with her.

“When is Dani moving out?” she asked, as much to distract herself as to get the information.

“As soon as she can find a place. Hugh gets the apartment. It’s handicapped accessible.”

“She can live here while she’s looking.”

Cal’s hands stopped moving. She opened her eyes again.

“What?” she asked.

“You’d offer that?”

“Sure. I have a second bedroom.” She waved at her cozy duplex. “She needs some time to regroup and I don’t need the other bedroom until the baby gets here.” She smiled. “Plus, she’ll probably be so grateful, she’ll help me paint when she leaves.”

“I think it’s a good idea. I offered to let her stay with me, but she didn’t want to.”

Penny wrinkled her nose. “It would be too much like moving back home. I would move in with a friend way before I would go live with one of my sisters. I would hate the daily reminder I hadn’t turned out like them.”

He put down her right foot and reached for her left. After pulling off her sock, he rolled up her jeans. “You don’t still worry about that, do you?” he asked.

Penny relaxed and gave herself over to the stroking pressure of his fingers on her heel.

“Sometimes. Before I figured out I wanted to be a chef, I was a complete failure. I flunked out of college.” She winced at the thought. “I lived two years of my life in Pullman thinking I could become a vet. Like I could ever pass those science classes.”

“But you regrouped and moved to Seattle.”

“Oh, right. I moved away from Spokane because my parents were done supporting my various screw-ups. For the first month, I was so broke, I slept in my car.”

“All the more reason to be proud of what you’ve become.”

“You’re right. My parents are excited about my career.” If not the baby, she thought. No, that wasn’t fair. They were happy to have another grandchild.

“You should invite them out,” Cal said.

She opened her eyes and stared at him. “You’re kidding, right?”

“Why not? They can see you at the restaurant, see the city.”

“Oh, right. Because I need more going on in my life. Don’t you dare say anything to them, either.”

He grinned. “We don’t talk much these days.”

“I guess not. As it is, my mother is going to come out when I have the baby.” That might be good, what with Naomi talking about leaving. “Families. Who thought up the concept?”

“You love your parents,” he said. “You know you do.”

She nodded. “They’re great. I love my sisters, too. I wish they weren’t so perfect, but I can handle it.”

Cal moved to the ball of her foot and dug in with his thumbs. “I’m going to have to talk to Dani about her father.”

“The whole not being a Buchanan thing?”

“Yes. She told me she wants to have a heart to heart with Gloria and find out the real reason she hasn’t been promoted. The conversation isn’t going to go well.”

“It’s better that she hears it from you instead of Gloria. Dani knows how much you care.”

He shrugged. “I accept that, but I still don’t want to be the one to tell her. It’s going to hurt her and she doesn’t need any more pain right now. I’m going to try to hold her off a week or so. Let her get settled.”

“Don’t wait too long.”

“I won’t.”

His cell phone rang. He grabbed for it with an eagerness that told her he’d been waiting. To find out if he was a match, she thought, as he glanced at the display.

“It’s Tracy,” he said before he pushed the talk button and said, “Hello?”

She looked at him and saw the worry in his dark eyes. Then his mouth curved and she knew even before he hung up.

“I’m a match!” he said with a grin. “Nearly a perfect one. I’ve got to get through some tests, but I’m healthy, so we’re going to assume we can go through with this. I can save her.”

And because she knew how much that meant to him, she put her confusion aside.

“I’m glad,” she said honestly, then leaned forward and hugged him. “Let’s celebrate. We can’t go out for a drink, but we can go eat. Or you drink and I’ll watch.”

“No liquor for me,” he said. “I want to be healthy. Let’s go get a salad.”

She laughed. “I can’t believe you actually said that.”

“Me, either.”

She smiled and squeezed his arms. “Let’s call the whole family and have them join us. Everyone will want to know.”

“Great idea.”

He reached for his cell phone.

As he contacted Reid, Walker and Dani, Penny put on her shoes and socks. Cal was such a good man—caring, determined. He was a good father to Lindsey. But his heart seemed to stop there. No one new got in. Which meant only a fool would expect him to change.

But as he laughed with Reid, she found herself wishing things had been different. That he could have let her in, that they could have stayed together and made a family of their own.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

THERE WERE A FINITE NUMBER of high schools in the Seattle area and Walker had been lucky enough to find Ben on the first try. His friend had attended West Seattle High School his sophomore year. There had been seven Ashleys in his grade and nearly thirty attending the school that year.

After making a list of them, Walker spent some time on the Internet, tracking down marriages, name changes and locations. Several had moved away. Ben’s last physical contact had been right before he’d shipped off to Afghanistan, which meant any Ashleys moving more than eighteen months ago could be eliminated. Anyone married longer than that same period could also be taken off the list. Which still left him with eleven women.

The first, Ashley Beauman, lived in Bellevue, just east of Lake Washington. He turned onto the residential street shortly after ten on Tuesday morning. While he doubted he would find Ashley home, he could at least find her house and come back later.

But when he pulled up there was a car in the driveway and several toys on the front yard. Toys for small children. Either Ashley had been keeping secrets from Ben or this wasn’t the right one.

Walker parked and climbed out of his X5. He stepped over a tricycle on his way to the front door.

A tall blond woman answered on the first ring. She looked frazzled and had a toddler on her hip.

“Yes?”

Walker had deliberately dressed casually. He smiled and introduced himself, then quickly explained he was looking for someone who had known a friend of his in the marines.

“I don’t remember anyone named Ben in high school,” the woman said, shifting her child to her other hip. “Was he in the same grade?”

“One year ahead of you.”

He reached into his jacket pocket and brought out the two pictures. The first showed Ben in high school and the second had been taken four months ago at their base camp.

She studied them, then shook her head. “Sorry. I don’t know him.” Then she frowned. “Why me?”

“His girlfriend’s name was Ashley.”

She raised her eyebrows. “You’re kidding. You’re going to talk to every Ashley who went to high school with this guy?”

“Until I find her.”

“Good luck with that.” She hesitated. “Your friend died, didn’t he?”

Walker nodded.

“I’m sorry. I hope you find her.”

“I will.”

“I’LL BE FINE,” Cal said. “I get to sleep through everything. Lindsey’s the one with the tough job.”

Penny nodded. She’d done a little research on the Internet and knew he was telling the truth. Cal would wake up with a few bruises, facing two or three days of recovery. Lindsey was in for a much rougher time as her body dealt with the new bone marrow.

“Are you sorry you put off meeting her?” she asked.

“No. Lindsey has enough to deal with right now. I want her to focus on getting better. She can meet me later.”

Several members of the hospital staff came into the room. “It’s time,” the nurse said.

“Okay.” Penny bent down and kissed Cal. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

“You don’t have to do that. I’ll be fine.”

“I know.”

He squeezed her hand. “Thanks.”

She waited until they wheeled him out, then she joined Reid in the waiting room.

“Some belly you got there,” he said when he saw her.

She smiled. “Gee, thanks.”

He patted the cushion next to him in the colorful, plant-filled room. “Just trying to distract you. There’s no reason to worry.”

“So everyone keeps saying. I’m not worried. Not exactly.”

“Then what?”

“I don’t know. This is all so strange. Three months ago I hadn’t spoken with Cal in ages and now…”

“Now you’re in a hospital waiting for him to have a simple procedure that may save the life of a child you never knew about?”

“That’s a very nice summary.”

Reid leaned back in the sofa and picked up a paper cup of coffee. “Does his willingness to help Lindsey make you mad?”

She considered the question. “Not mad. I want her to be fine. And there was never any choice. Cal’s a good man. Of course he would do this.”

“But?”

“But…why wasn’t he like this with me?”

“When you lost the baby?”

She nodded. Why hadn’t he cared more? Why hadn’t he been willing to open his heart to their child? “There’s so much he didn’t tell me, so much he wouldn’t say. He’s not very forthcoming, emotionally.”

“Does that matter?”

It shouldn’t. She and Cal weren’t together. Not in that way. And yet…

“I don’t have an answer,” she said. “Let’s change the subject.”

“Okay. We could talk about how good-looking I am.”

“There’s a topic that could fill hours.”

He smiled smugly. “Yes, it could. It’s also one of my favorites. You start.”

She laughed. “No, thanks. Have you talked to Naomi lately? She’s been off doing stuff. I haven’t seen her much.”

“She and Walker were in the bar a couple of weeks ago. I haven’t seen them since.”

“I know she has a lot on her mind. She’s mentioned she might be leaving.” Penny thought about what Naomi had told her about having a family back in Ohio. “I understand she had a life before she came here, but I don’t want her to go. Gee, suddenly everything seems to be about me.” She sighed. “I’ll miss her.”

“She’s been a good friend to you.”

“I know. You’re great, too, but you don’t do the girl stuff really well. You never want to talk about pedicures.”

“Or body waxing.”

Penny smiled. “That, too.”

Dani walked into the waiting room. “Has he already gone in?”

“A few minutes ago,” Reid said as he stood. “How’s my baby sister?”

“I’ve been better, but I’m surviving.” Dani hugged Reid, then smiled at Penny. “So, is that offer still open?”

“Sure. You want to come be my roommate?”

Dani sank down in Reid’s seat and nodded. “If you don’t mind. I need to get out of the apartment as soon as I can.”

“How about right now? We can go get a key made while Cal’s still under anesthesia and you can move your stuff this afternoon. I’m going to be staying with him for a couple of days so you’d have the house to yourself while you settle.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely. It’ll be fun.”

“Okay, then I say yes. I appreciate this so much.”

Penny stood. “Reid, call me if anything happens. I have my cell on.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Moving back in together. That’s interesting.”

“Oh, please. The man is having bone marrow sucked out of his hip. He’s going to have bruises the size of Utah and feel like he was hit by a truck. I don’t think you have to worry about anything happening.”

Unfortunately.

CAL TRIED to get comfortable on the chair, but it wasn’t happening.

“If you’d take the Tylenol, like the doctor said, you wouldn’t be suffering,” Penny called from down the hall.

He shook his head. How the hell had she known he was in pain? Women were a mystery.

“I’m fine,” he yelled back.

“You’re lying.”

He heard footsteps on the hardwood floor of the hallway, then she stuck her head in the living room. “I’m getting you the pills right now and I’m going to loom over you until you take them. Is that clear?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

She grinned. “Respect. I like that. Be right back.”

When she returned, she was true to her word, standing over him until he’d dutifully swallowed the two pills.

“I wrote down the time so we’ll know when you can take more,” she said.

“I’m perfectly fine.”

She put her hands on her hips, which tightened her shirt around her growing belly. “Oh, please. You have massive bruises on your hips, along with what looked like six hundred puncture marks.”

“It’s not that many. Compared with what Lindsey has to go through, this is nothing.”

Penny sank down onto the sofa across from his chair. “I know. I spoke with her mom for a few minutes while you were still recovering. Lindsey’s pretty wrecked from the chemo.”

Cal didn’t doubt it. The kid was in for a brutal process. First chemotherapy destroyed Lindsey’s bone marrow, then she received an IV with his. Over the next few weeks, while her immune system was compromised, she would be kept isolated from the world. She would also battle what would feel like the worst flu of her life for that same period of time.

“I’ve popped onto the Internet and read about the procedure,” Penny said. “There’s a really good chance your bone marrow will cure her leukemia.”

“I hope so.”

“I wish there was more I could do,” she said.

“You’re here. I appreciate that.”

“You should. I’ll have you know I don’t normally make cooking house calls, but I’m making an exception for you. We’ll be dining on all your favorites.”

His stomach rumbled. “Meat loaf?” He hadn’t had Penny’s meat loaf since before the divorce.

“Tonight. Then tomorrow, my very twisted Thai lasagna.”

“Won’t you be at the restaurant? We can’t both be gone that long.”

“I’ll be going back and forth,” she said. “Naomi’s there, not to worry. Want to watch sports on TV?”

“No thanks.”

“Hmm, do you have a fever?”

He smiled. “Reid’s the sports guy. Did you unpack?”

“Yes. The guest room is lovely. I’m going out on a limb and saying you didn’t decorate it yourself.”

“Dani helped. She picked out the colors and the linens and the furniture. I did the labor.”

She glanced around the living room. “The house is great.”

“Paid for by the coffee drinkers of the Pacific Northwest.”

“We do love our coffee.”

She looked out the living room windows at the view of downtown. “You did good, Cal. You started with nothing and you created an empire. You should be proud of yourself.”

“Thanks.”

She turned back to him. “I get it now—the need to go out and make something happen on your own, but when you first left the restaurant business, I thought you were leaving me.”

“What are you talking about?” How could she have thought that?

“It’s hard to explain. We had a whole life that revolved around being awake when most of the world was asleep. We talked about the same kind of problems with customers and staffs and bosses. Then, suddenly, you wanted out. You became one of them, working nine to five.” She shrugged. “I guess that sounds really strange. But at the time, I felt abandoned.”

“I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I wanted to get away from Gloria and her constant monitoring of my life. I was tired of the threats, the ugliness.”

“I know,” Penny said. Funny how with the passage of time a lot of things became more clear. “I wish I’d been more supportive.”

Cal shook his head. “Don’t. You were great.”

“You don’t know how angry I was with you.”

He looked surprised. “You’re right. You hid it from me.”

“Not my finest moment. I thought you’d change your mind and come back.”

“You thought I’d fail.”

Guilt made her uncomfortable. “Maybe.”

“I should have explained more to you,” he said. “I was embarrassed to. I thought you’d think less of me.”

Maybe it was the pain, or knowing his daughter was dangerously ill. Maybe it was the time they’d spent together, but Cal was vulnerable in a way she’d never seen him before.

“I loved you,” she said. “I would have done anything for you.”

“I know.” His dark gaze settled on her face. “You deserved better than the little I had to give. I wish…I wish I’d been honest with you. Lindsey felt like such a big secret. I knew telling you about her would change everything. I should have trusted you to be able to handle it.”

Something warm and squishy enveloped her heart. She wanted to be in Cal’s arms and have him hold her close. She wanted them to go to bed and make love until the sun came up.

Either he was thinking the same thing or he read the invitation in her eyes. He stood and held out his hand.

She rose and walked to him. As she reached for him, he pulled her close. His arms went around her, she put her hands on his waist and he kissed her.

The contact was as erotic as it was familiar. She closed her eyes as he brushed his lips against hers, generating heat and need and sparks. Within seconds her breasts were swollen and sensitive and her thighs had begun to tremble.

“What is it about you?” he asked before he swept his tongue against her bottom lip.

Rather than answering, she opened to accept him. As he pushed inside and they began an intimate dance, he cupped her head as if to hold her in place.

Had she been able to form coherent thoughts, she would have told him she wasn’t going anywhere. She wanted him too much. Wanted this. Funny how in all the time they’d been apart she’d managed to do fairly nicely with only a minimum of sexual contact, but now, with him, she felt weak with desire.

He drew back and nipped on her bottom lip, then kissed her jaw. As he moved to her neck, he shifted and instantly stiffened.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Nothing.”

Somehow the tightness of his mouth and the shadows of pain in his eyes told her differently.

She stepped back. “What was I thinking? You’re just out of the hospital a couple of hours ago. They used your hips as pincushions and sucked out quarts of bone marrow. Sit down right now.”

He shook his head. “No. Let’s keep going.”

He took her hand and brought it to his groin. He was hard and when she touched him, he flexed against her fingers.

She knew that she was already wet and swollen, but none of that mattered.

“Cal, be serious. You’ve just had general anesthetic. You’re weak, tired and this is the last thing you should be doing.”

He stared into her eyes. She looked back, letting him see the need inside of her.

“Rain check,” she whispered, as she kissed him. “I promise.”

“No. We can do this.”

“Right. Because you whimpering in pain is really sexy.”

“I don’t whimper.”

“I know. You’re a big strong guy who right now needs a nap. Alone.”

He picked up her hand and kissed her palm. “I want you.”

Words to make a pregnant woman dance with delight. “I want you, too. We’ll do something about it real soon. I promise.”

He hesitated, then nodded. “Okay. I think I need to crash for a while.”

“The doctor said it would take a couple of days for you to get the anesthesia out of your system. Plus, you have to get your strength back from the whole bone marrow sucking. Go take a nap. I’ll run over to the restaurant, then be back to fix meat loaf.”

He squeezed her fingers. “Thanks. You don’t have to do this.”

“I know, but I want to.”

Although why, she wouldn’t, she couldn’t, say.

DANI SEALED the box and put it on top of the others by the front door. She would either have to come back later with a couple of burly guys and a van or work out a financial agreement with Hugh about him buying her out of half the furniture. For now, she only wanted her clothes and some personal items.

She hadn’t slept much the previous night. Although Penny’s guest bed had been comfortable, Dani had had too much on her mind. So much had happened so quickly. Hugh wanting a divorce, finding out he was cheating on her, moving out. It would be a while before she was finally able to draw in a breath and relax.

She opened the linen closet and pulled out a big box of photos. More things she was going to have to go through. She tossed it into a carton. She would sort them at Penny’s and return Hugh’s to him. She had no idea what they would do with the pictures they had taken together. Who would want those?

So many things to divide. Their good china and crystal, DVDs, electronic equipment. They’d been together nearly seven years. That made for a lot of baggage.

She heard the garage door open and stiffened. A quick glance at her watch told her Hugh wasn’t due home for another two hours. She’d planned to be finished long before that.

She had a brief thought that his chickie had stopped by for something when she heard the soft sound of wheels on hardwood.

“Dani?”

She closed the linen closet door and stepped into the living room. “You weren’t supposed to be here,” she said.

Hugh looked as he always did—handsome, strong, sexy. The wheelchair did nothing to detract from his appeal. A friend from grad school had once confessed—after too many rum-and-cokes—that the wheelchair only made a woman think about being more creative, where Hugh was concerned. At the time Dani had laughed off the comment. Now she realized she should have paid attention.

He sat straight in his chair, his gold-blond hair a little too long, his blue eyes looking both innocent and soulful. There was something about his mouth, something that made a woman want to kiss him.

He had big hands and, at least for him, the old wives’ tale was true. Even with the loss of sensation for Hugh, that part of him could still work, and she’d had plenty of fun riding him to paradise.

As had others, apparently.

“I’m sorry you had to see that,” he said. “I didn’t mean for you to find out.”

She walked into the bedroom and began pulling clothes off hangers. “Interesting. You’re not sorry you were cheating on me, you’re just sorry you were caught.” She heard him move into the room. “With a student, Hugh. That’s tacky, even for you.”

“It’s not what you’re thinking.”

“You have no idea what I’m thinking.” She tossed the clothes into an open box, then glared at him. “You don’t know anything about me. I’m furious. You want a divorce. Fine. We’ll get one. You’ve moved on. I can accept that. But what I can’t accept is that you’re messing around with your students. God knows how many.”

“Don’t be insulting.”

“Oh, right. Because only sleeping with one of them is so noble. What a great man you are. How proud we all are.” She moved close and stared down at him. “I was there for you, you bastard. Every day from the second you were hurt. I gave up my life to help you. I encouraged you, I begged you to keep living. I loved you with every fiber of my being. What I expected in return was for you to love me just as much. And if you couldn’t do that, I expected you to respect me. But you didn’t.”

“Sure. Make me the bad guy.”

She wanted to scream. “How am I at fault in any of this?”

“I just wanted a divorce. Why is that a crime?”

“It’s not, you bastard. You lied and cheated. You betrayed me. That student isn’t the first. I’m stunned to find out you’re a lousy human being.”

He glared at her. “Because I’m in a wheelchair, you expect me to be a saint? I’m not supposed to have flaws like other men, because I’m not really a man?”

She’d never wanted to hit another person before in her life, but the urge to pick up a lamp and crash it over Hugh’s head was incredibly powerful.

“I expect you to be a decent person because we’re married,” she yelled. “I expected you to honor your wedding vows because I thought you had a sense of morality and because I thought you cared about me and our relationship. Not everything is about you being in a wheelchair. You being an asshole has absolutely nothing to do with you being in a wheel chair. You’d be one even if you could run a marathon. Now get out of here so I can finish getting my things.”

“Dani—”

“Get out!”

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

“THE MUSHROOMS SMELL FUNNY,” Penny said as she held a clean cloth to her left ring finger.

“They’re mushrooms,” Naomi told her. “They’re supposed to smell funny. Do you need stitches?”

Penny rolled her eyes. “Is my finger still attached to my hand?”

“Yes. Fine. Be that way.”

Cal walked into the kitchen. He was moving a little slow, but otherwise was doing fine since his procedure. “How much is she bleeding?” he asked Naomi.

“I’m fine,” Penny said.

“It was a gusher,” Naomi said. “But I don’t think she went down to the bone.”

“Good to know,” Cal said. “I could forcibly take her to the urgent care center.”

“No, you couldn’t.” Penny moved between them. “I’m right here in the room. Stop ignoring me. I’m fine. Cuts and burns come with the territory. I’m fine. It’s barely even bleeding.”

Not that she was willing to let up on the pressure just yet, but in a few minutes, she would. Naomi would put on a butterfly bandage and all would be well. If she rushed around screaming for medical care every time someone got cut in the kitchen, no one would ever get fed.

“Hey, it’s here,” Dani yelled as she walked into the kitchen. “The write-up on new restaurants, and yes, you’re mentioned.”

She set the newspaper on the stainless-steel counter and flipped through the pages. The two cooks already chopping vegetables there moved in close, as did Edouard. Penny wiggled in front of both Naomi and Cal. If she stayed behind them, she wouldn’t see a thing.

Suddenly the sting from her cut faded as an entire squad of butterflies took up residence in her stomach.

“They had to say something good, right?” she whispered, more to herself than anyone else. “Why say something bad?”

“Because it’s the newspaper,” Naomi grumbled. “What do they know about good food?”

“They are the sort of people who eat fast food,” Edouard muttered.

Penny bit her lower lip as Dani continued to flip pages. She stopped on a huge spread featuring new restaurants in the Seattle area.

A friend of a friend had warned her about the write-up and had mentioned there was a bit on The Waterfront. Now Penny scanned the page until she saw a small box.

“There!” she said, as she pointed.

They all leaned forward to read it.

“I’ll do it,” Dani said, snatching up the paper. “Okay. While we here at the paper were only interested in new restaurants for this feature, The Waterfront has risen like a phoenix from the ashes. A few short months ago one was guaranteed old fish and a tired, uninspiring menu; these days The Waterfront is the place for fabulous dining. It’s not just that chef Penny Jackson has redefined delicious with her innovative menus and clever pairings, it’s that the dining room, with its wonderful views and good service, provides the perfect backdrop for an exciting and addictive culinary experience.”

Penny screamed and jumped up and down. Naomi joined her and they hugged each other while they jumped. Cal put his arms around both of them and suddenly there was a group hug in the kitchen.

“Congratulations,” he said to Penny. “I knew we could do it.”

“Me, too. Although you’re just in charge of the backdrop. I have an addictive menu!” She held up her uninjured hand and hit it against Cal’s. “I knew we were good, but I didn’t think anyone else was smart enough to figure it out.”

“It seems they are.”

“Yay, us.”

“I’ve always liked newspaper people,” Edouard said.

“We should celebrate,” Naomi said. “I vote for liquor.”

“Sure. Cheap champagne all around.” He handed her the keys to the liquor closet.

Penny laughed and moved to the walk-in refrigerator where she removed a small piece of tuna.

“Hungry?” Cal asked when she returned to the counter and began cutting it up.

“It’s for Al. Our cat,” she added, when he looked blank. “He’s been doing a great job with rodent control. I’m inviting him to the party.”

She put the tuna in a dish and walked to the back hallway. After calling for a couple of minutes, she watched the large cat appear. She patted it, then put down the plate of tuna. Al inhaled it in less than thirty seconds.

“I didn’t know he was a fish lover,” Cal said from the doorway.

“He’s a cat with great taste. That was premium tuna.”

Al took himself off to clean up after his meal and Penny picked up the plate. She smiled at Cal. “We did good.”

“I agree. I thought it would take longer, but I’m not complaining.”

“Me, either.”

There was something about the way he looked at her. Something that made her insides get all quivery and her mouth go dry.

“About that rain check,” he said with a smile.

“Yes?”

“Penny?” Dani called. “You have a call. It’s your mom.”

“Be right there.” She looked at Cal. “Sorry.”

“Don’t sweat it. I know where you live.”

A promise she would hold him to, she thought as she walked toward the phone and checked her cut. The bleeding had stopped. As she picked up the phone, she held out her finger to Naomi.

“Hi, Mom.”

“Hi, dear. Your father and I saw the article about you in the paper. It’s wonderful. Congratulations.”

Naomi appeared with the first aid kit and went to work on trimming several dressings down to the right shape and size.

“Thanks,” Penny said, holding the phone between her ear and her shoulder as she ran her finger under water and tried not to wince.

“We’ve decided we can’t wait another minute to see the place. We’re driving over.”

“That’s great. When?”

“In a couple of weeks. I know Saturday is your busiest day, so we’ll arrive Sunday and stay until Tuesday.”

Naomi fitted the bandage in place and secured it with tape.

“That’s great,” Penny said. “I’m looking forward to seeing you and Dad.”

“Oh, not just us. Your sisters are coming, too. And the kids. Sean and Jack can’t take off, which is too bad.”

“The whole clan,” she said weakly. “My house is kind of small. Oh, and I have a temporary roommate.”

“Not to worry,” her mother said. “We have hotel rooms. I’ll e-mail you the details. We’re really looking forward to this, Penny.”

“Me, too.”

They chatted a few more minutes, then hung up. Naomi sipped from her champagne glass and grinned. “Hell of a time to be pregnant, huh?”

Penny eyed the liquor enviously. “Tell me about it. My parents are coming, along with my sisters and their kids. They’re going to want to see the restaurant.”

“Yes, they are.”

“They’re going to poke through my house and want to talk about the future.”

“Parents are like that.”

“They’ll worry about me having a baby on my own.”

“Sure.”

Edouard swore in French. “The back burners are out. All four of them. I cannot work in conditions like this.”

Penny groaned. She couldn’t afford to lose half her burners. Not when they were expecting a full house.

“I’ll call,” she said as she hurried toward her office. Welcome to her world, she thought. Where it was always insane.

“Then we need to talk about the mushrooms,” Naomi told her. “They smell funny.”

“THANKS FOR COMING,” Cal said. “You didn’t have to do this.”

“I wanted to,” Penny told him as they walked through the hospital.

He doubted that visiting his daughter would make the top-five list of ways she wanted to spend her day, but he appreciated her willingness to accompany him.

Penny had really been there for him, he thought. Helping him after he’d donated the bone marrow, feeding him, being a friend. Repaying that kindness by jumping her bones had seemed too slimy, so he’d resisted the urge to suggest they cash in on their rain check. Even though he’d wanted to.

He glanced at her as they waited for the elevator. She was showing more and more. He supposed that some guys would have found her growing size unappealing, but he thought she was sexy as hell, all lush curves and glowing health. He liked the way she moved, the way she smelled, the promise that seemed to be in every smile.

Complications, he thought. Getting involved with Penny would be nothing but complications. Another reason to resist his need for her. But he sure was tempted.

They rode up to their floor, then stepped into the corridor.

“We have to check in,” he said. “Tracy, Lindsey’s mom, said they’ll explain about the mask and gown we have to wear. Her immune system is still recovering. Apparently she’s doing much better than anyone expected and she’ll be out of the hospital in a few weeks, but until then, we all have to be careful.”

Penny touched his arm. “You’re nervous. That’s normal, but I’m still only going as far as the door. This is a private moment.”

“I don’t know how to talk to her. I’ve known about her all her life, but she’s never given me any thought. What do I say?”

“I don’t know,” she sighed. “Speak from your heart. Your goal here is to connect. Just establish some easy conversation, then sort of slide into the fact that you’re her father.”

Cal tried to imagine himself saying the words, but it was impossible. He’d kept the secret for too long.

“Tracy will be there, right?” Penny asked.

He nodded. “She and I agreed it’s important for Lindsey to have her mother around.”

Penny smiled. “You always say ‘her mother’ or ‘her father.’ Never ‘her adoptive mother.’”

“Tracy is her mother. Alison’s role in Lindsey’s life was to provide an egg and rental space for nine months. Nothing else.”

And his role had been even less. He’d given his daughter some DNA and then he’d cut her loose.

Penny moved close and stared into his eyes. “Don’t go there. You did more than just offer up sperm. Despite wanting to keep her, you made a conscious choice to make her life better. You did everything in your power to make sure she would be happy.”

“I didn’t want to let her go.”

“Knowing what you know now, do you think you made the wrong decision?”

Good question. Could he have raised Lindsey better? Could he have made her more happy? He’d still been a kid himself. What about Gloria and her need to meddle in every aspect of everyone’s life? What about Lindsey getting sick?

“This was the right choice,” he said slowly. “I know that.”

“Then maybe it’s time to give yourself a break, Cal. Maybe you should let go of the guilt and be happy your daughter is alive and getting better. How long are you going to punish yourself for giving her the best of everything in the world?”

He stared at Penny. Was it really that simple? Had he been punishing himself for doing what was obviously the best for his daughter?

“You have your moments,” he said.

“I know.” She smiled. “I can be brilliant on demand. It’s a gift.”

“Okay. Be brilliant now and tell me what to say to Lindsey.”

“How about telling her that you’re her father and that you love her very much?”

Before he could answer, Tracy came out of a room at the far end of the hall. She wore a long hospital gown.

“Hi,” she said as she approached. “Right on time. Are you ready to get all covered up? Lindsey’s doing great. Even better than we’d all hoped. It looks like she’ll be able to come home fairly soon. Not that she can go back to school. No crowds for her for a while, but still. We’re happy and so very grateful.”

She was nervous. Cal could see it in her eyes and hear it in her fast-paced words.

“Tracy,” he began.

She shook her head. “It’s fine. Really. This is for the best. Lindsey wants to meet the man who saved her life and you want to meet your daughter. I didn’t tell her. I…” She swallowed. “I didn’t know how,” she admitted. “Which is probably a good thing. You’ve been waiting to tell her for a long time. You’ve more than earned this, Cal. Really. Tom and I are so grateful.”

“Thank you,” he said.

He felt Penny take his hand. He laced his fingers with hers and squeezed. At least he’d been smart enough to bring her along. He had a feeling he was going to need a friend through all this.

Speaking of which…“Tracy, this is Penny Jackson.”

Penny leaned forward and shook hands. “It’s lovely to meet you. I’m so pleased your daughter is doing well. You’ve been through such a difficult time and deserve to hear good news.”

“Thank you.” Tracy stared at Penny’s stomach. “Your first?”

Penny hesitated only a second, then nodded. “I’m due in September and getting bigger by the second.”

Tracy’s smile faded. “We wanted children, but I wasn’t able to carry a baby past the twelfth week. There’s a complex medical term for it. So we decided to adopt. Cal gave us Lindsey and she’s been a blessing to us every day.”

“I’m glad,” he told her.

Penny’s hold on his hand tightened.

“All right, let’s go,” Tracy said. “Lindsey’s doing great. At first she was really sick, but that faded quickly. Now she’s just waiting until she’s able to go home. Oh, you know she lost her hair in chemo, right?”

Cal hadn’t. It made sense, but he hated the thought of her beautiful blond hair falling out.

“She’s hoping she’ll get some curl when it grows back in,” Tracy continued. “Did her biological mother have curly hair?”

“What? No. Alison’s hair was straight.” And pale blond. Lindsey’s had been golden-blond and long. How much time would it take her to grow it back?

“Welcome to the germ-free zone,” Tracy said as they walked through the doorway. “Nothing can go into Lindsey’s room without being disinfected.”

“I didn’t bring her anything,” Cal said. He’d wanted to but his reading had warned him that she wouldn’t be able to accept anything like flowers or plants. He hadn’t known what else to bring.

“Good.” She showed him where the gowns and masks were, along with booties and caps for his hair. Penny settled into a chair with a magazine.

“Good luck,” she told him.

Five minutes later he was in Lindsey’s room. Tracy introduced him. Lindsey smiled and kept her gaze firmly fixed on him.

He looked back. His daughter was tall and slender, with large blue eyes and a smile that could light up Seattle. She wore a scarf on her head that reminded him of Penny’s head coverings in the kitchen.

He could see bits of Alison in her—the shape of her eyes, the way she tilted her head.

“I don’t know what to say,” Lindsey told him with a shy smile. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. I was glad to help.”

“Did it hurt when they took your bone marrow?”

“I was asleep. I had a couple of bruises afterwards, but they’re no big deal. You’re the one going through the worst of it.”

Lindsey wrinkled her nose. “I was really sick for a while. Chemo is totally gross. But it’s over and now I’m feeling better.”

She sat up in her bed, on top of the covers. Brightly colored sweats covered her legs and she had on a blue long-sleeved fuzzy shirt that buttoned in front. There were IV lines coming from her chest and her arm.

“We should all sit,” Tracy said as she busied herself pulling up a couple of chairs.

Cal took the one closest to his daughter. She was so beautiful, he thought. He’d seen her before, of course, but always from a distance. Now he was close enough to see the color in her cheeks and the little mole she had on the side of her neck.

“I understand you’re a senior in high school,” he said.

“Yeah.” She sighed. “I’m probably going to miss graduation. Even though I’ll be better by then, it’s a big crowd and I have to avoid them for the next six months. I’m going to UW. Um, the University of Washington.”

He grinned. “I know. I went there.”

“Really? What did you study?”

“Business.”

“Oh.” She wrinkled her nose again. “I’m going pre-law. I want to learn about a lot of different things. Then I’m going to law school to study environmental law. You know, save the planet.”

She was young enough to believe that was possible, he thought in wonder. And he was entranced enough to think she could.

“I won’t be starting until January, though. The whole crowd thing. But my mom talked to the admissions people and there are some classes I can take online, which is totally great. So I’ll have the same number of units as everyone else when I finally get there.”

“You’ll have to let me know how it all goes,” he said.

“Really? You’d be interested?”

Tracy smiled at her daughter. “Honey, he just saved your life. I think he has a little something invested in your future.”

“Right. I never thought of it that way. Okay. Sure. I can let you know. Do you do e-mail?”

He nodded.

“Me, too. I love it. And instant messaging. I would just die without that and my cell phone to keep in touch with all my friends.” She flashed a smile at Tracy. “Mom’s been great about letting me do that. Of course we got unlimited local calling and my friends all have it, too.” Her voice trailed off. “You probably don’t care about that.”

Actually, he did. He wanted to hear about every aspect of her life. He couldn’t believe he was here, so close to her. He wanted to hug her and tell her who he was. He wanted to show her New York and Europe and watch her grow into a beautiful woman. Mostly, he wanted to turn back the clock and watch her from the time she’d been born.

The combination of pleasure at her company and pain for all he’d missed immobilized him. He ached in a way he’d never hurt before. She was incredible and no matter what he said or did, he couldn’t get those years back.

Lindsey frowned. “You look kinda familiar. It’s hard to tell with the mask, but I saw you when you came into the dressing room and I thought…” She looked from him to her mom, then back. “Do I know you?”

He’d been waiting for this moment for seventeen years. Here it was—the perfect invitation. The chance to tell her who he was.

Penny held her breath. Despite being in the waiting room, she could hear their conversation and she could feel Cal’s longing to be with his daughter. Love radiated out from him like heat from a stove. He’d done the right thing over and over and this was his reward. Yet she couldn’t help wanting to stop him.

The girl was an innocent in all this. She’d never wanted to know her birth parents. Why tell her now? It would change her forever, and possibly not in a good way. But Penny knew that Cal had earned this moment and right or wrong, he would take it.

“You’ve seen me,” Cal said, his voice thick with emotion.

Penny’s eyes filled with tears. She glanced at Tracy and saw the woman trembling with emotion. No doubt she was terrified she would lose some part of her daughter. That a piece of her heart would be given to Cal.

“I’m one of the owners of The Daily Grind. My partners and I used to do the commercials on television.”

Penny blinked back tears as her heart froze in her chest. Was that it? She braced herself for more and was stunned when after a second Lindsey said, “Oh, yeah. That’s it. I knew you looked like somebody I knew.”

Then she mentioned how sad she was to miss the prom, but that her boyfriend had promised her they would go dancing as soon as she could handle the crowds. Cal asked if she had any pets and the conversation continued.

Tracy looked as stunned as she, Penny, felt. What had just happened? Why had Cal passed over the perfect opportunity to tell Lindsey who he was?

Fifteen minutes later the visit ended. Cal promised to answer Lindsey’s e-mail and she promised to keep in touch. She turned on the TV before they left the room.

When the door to Lindsey’s room was closed, Tracy turned to him. “Why didn’t you tell her?” she asked in a low voice.

Cal pulled off his protective gown. “I wanted to, but I couldn’t say the words. She’s a great kid, Tracy, and that’s because of you and Tom. But she’s still young and I didn’t want to screw with her world.”

Tracy threw herself at him. “Thank you,” she said as tears poured down her cheeks. “Thank you. I know you could have told her. You had every right. You’ve given her to us twice now and taken nothing for yourself. I don’t know how to repay that kind of sacrifice.”

Penny found herself fighting tears of her own. When Cal looked at her and raised his eyebrows, she shrugged. “Hormones,” she said with a sniff.

He patted Tracy’s back until she straightened. “I should get back to her,” she said.

“Thanks for letting me meet her,” he told Tracy.

“You’re a great man, Cal. Truly.” She wiped her face, then entered her daughter’s room.

Cal was quiet the whole way to the car. Once they were on the road, he looked at her. “I know it’s only three in the afternoon, but I need a drink. Want to keep me company?”

“Sure. Where do you want to go?”

“Somewhere quiet. How about my place?”

“Okay.”

He didn’t speak again until they arrived at his house. Penny followed him inside, then watched as he poured himself a Scotch. After he’d taken a long drink, she walked over and touched his arm.

“You did a good thing,” she murmured.

He looked at her. “It hurt like hell. All I wanted was for her to be mine. I couldn’t stop thinking about everything I’d missed by giving her up. All those years. But look at the life she has with Tracy and Tom. I couldn’t have done that. I’d be hard-pressed to do that now, let alone at seventeen.”

“What changed your mind?”

He took another drink. “I realized that loving my daughter meant wanting what was best for her. For her, not for me. As much as I might want a place in her life, that’s not what she wants. She’s looking forward to college and growing up to change the world. She has great parents. She doesn’t need me barging in and changing everything.”

He put down the drink. “It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Harder than giving her up, even, because now I know what I’ve lost and back then I could only guess.”

She felt his pain as if it were her own. “I can’t fix this, but for what it’s worth, I’m incredibly proud of you. You did good.”

“Yeah?”

She nodded, then moved in front of him and raised herself on tiptoe so she could kiss his mouth. “Lindsey’s a very lucky young lady. She has a hell of a father in you.”

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. As his mouth claimed hers, she felt his longing for both sex and relief from the pain. He wanted to find solace in her.

She gave in because she couldn’t imagine walking away. Not when she wanted him, too. But even as he ran his hands up and down her back and touched her bottom lip with his tongue, she knew she was making a big mistake.

Nothing had changed. If anything, Cal’s actions today had only reinforced what she knew to be true. He loved Lindsey enough to make the big and painful sacrifices. He was, at his core, a good man.

But that had never been the issue between them. The problems had been about his inability to love more than just his daughter. He hadn’t opened his heart to Penny or their child.

Had that changed or was she beating her head against an unmoving emotional wall?

“Earth to Penny,” he murmured, kissing the side of her neck. “You’re a thousand miles away. Do you want me to stop?”

Heat poured through her body. Every nerve ending begged for his touch. She wrapped her arms around him and surrendered to his sensual caress.

“Of course not,” she whispered.

“Good.”

He returned his mouth to hers. She parted for him. As he swept inside, she told herself it was a hell of a time to realize she was still in love with him.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

LOVE. Was it possible? Penny told herself it wasn’t and yet she felt the emotion building inside of her.

Not now, she thought as Cal tugged at the hem of her shirt. Now wasn’t for thinking, it was for feeling.

He pulled the shirt over her head and tossed it onto the table by the sofa. After running his hands across her shoulders and down her arms, he gently cupped her breasts.

“They’re bigger,” he said with a grin, as if he’d just discovered something naughty.

“Yes, and we’ve already discussed that fact.”

“I like them.”

“Typical male.”

“That’s me.” He lightly brushed his thumbs over her nipples.

Her whole pelvis clenched as he continued to caress her. She felt herself swelling in anticipation.

“That feels great.”

“Good.”

He continued to touch her breasts as he leaned in and kissed the side of her neck. Soft, slow, damp kisses that made her break out in goose bumps all over.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured. “You always have been, but with the baby, there’s a glow about you.”

He nibbled on her jaw before moving to her ear and taking her lobe in his mouth.

“I want you,” he breathed.

The erotic words, the feel of his breath on her skin all made her melt. She trembled with need and hunger. She wanted to urge him on, to hurry him to the next step and at the same time, she wanted this to last forever.

“Oh, Cal,” she whispered as she leaned into him. “You always did know how to set me on fire.”

He raised his head and they kissed. A slow, deep kiss that made her cling to him. Tongues brushed, circled, teased. Lips pressed. He dropped his hands to her hips and urged her closer, only her stomach was in the way.

She broke the kiss, glanced down at her belly and laughed. “Okay. We have a small problem.”

“We’ll work around it,” he said. “Come on.”

With that he took her hand and led her toward his bedroom. Once there, he reached for the button on her jeans.

“Why don’t you take care of you,” she said. “I can undress myself.”

“But I like taking your clothes off.”

“I like you naked more.”

“I can live with that.”

He went to work on his shirt, while she removed her shoes and socks. In a matter of thirty or forty seconds, they were both naked.

He pulled back the covers and she slid onto the cool sheets. It was still the middle of the afternoon. Sunlight poured into the room, leaving her no comfortable shadows in which to hide. For the first time in her pregnancy, she felt large and unwieldy.

She knew that in theory she could make love until the last month, but in practice…

“What?” he asked as he moved next to her. “You’re looking scrunchy.”

“Scrunchy? What does that mean?”

“You’re thinking. Never a good thing.”

“I’m worried about this being awkward.”

He propped himself up on one elbow, then smiled. “See, that’s the difference between men and women. You’re concerned that we might have to make some changes and I won’t like that. While I’ve been fantasizing about you on top, my hands on your breasts and you having your way with me.”

He painted a very vivid image that she could totally get behind. Her insides tightened at the thought of them making love that way.

“Okay. We’ll do it your way.”

“Gee, thanks.”

He kissed her. She parted for him instantly, wanting to feel the pleasure he could bring her body. Even as his tongue claimed her, he slid his hand along her bare side, over the curve of her hip, to her thigh.

She rolled onto her back and let her legs fall open. He moved between her thighs, lightly brushed her center, then rubbed her other leg.

“You’ve completely missed the point,” she murmured against his mouth.

“No. I get the point.” He pressed his erection into her leg. “I’m taking it slow. Relax. We have all afternoon. Now where was I?”

But instead of picking up where he’d left off, which had been torturing her by not touching her, he shifted his hand to her breasts.

He caressed her curves, moving closer to her nipples without actually touching them. He circled and circled until she thought she might go mad with wanting. Finally he touched the tight tip and she felt ribbons of fire race through her.

“Good?” he asked as he kissed his way down her neck.

“Excellent.”

“I aim to please.”

He shifted so he could take one nipple in his mouth. She gave herself over to the gentle sucking, the flick of his tongue. Heat poured through her. She felt herself melting. Between her legs, her blood pulsed in time with her heartbeat.

He moved closer, touching, kissing, licking until she could barely catch her breath. Need built inside of her—a restless energy that begged to be released.

He slipped his hand between her legs and this time he slid his fingers through her damp curls and rubbed her hungry flesh. She arched against him and cried out as he found that single point of pleasure.

As he rubbed her, touching her, circling, then brushing right against that spot, she felt him press his hardness into her thigh. His need increased her own. She needed more.

“Faster,” she whispered. “Harder.”

He obliged with a readiness that earned her gratitude. His fingers moved over her slick, swollen center in a rhythm designed to send her over the edge.

She drew up her knees and parted her legs. Her heels dug into the bed, while her whole body arched in anticipation of her climax. Suddenly her mind filled with the image of her on top of him, feeling him inside of her while she came. Once planted, the idea wouldn’t be ignored. She put her hand on his wrist.

“I want to be on top.”

His mouth curved into a slow smile of masculine anticipation. “Be my guest. Take me any way you want.”

He rolled onto his back, then helped her as she straddled him. She reached between them to guide him inside as she lowered herself onto his arousal.

He filled all of her. She felt her body clench around him as he flexed within her.

“You set the pace,” he said with a groan. “I don’t need much to make me happy.”

She shifted to find the most erotically comfortable position. Her body clenched again.

“This is good,” she whispered and closed her eyes.

Slowly, she began to move. The up-and-down rhythm felt awkward at first, but she quickly found a pace that made her nerve endings quiver. She moved a little faster, then faster still.

She opened her eyes and saw him watching her.

“Come for me,” he whispered as he slipped his hand between them and rubbed her swollen center.

Every muscle in her body tensed as need built up. He rubbed a little harder, making the circling motion tighter. It was all that she needed to lose herself. Spasms of pure release claimed her as her orgasm swept through her. She continued to move, riding him, calling out her pleasure.

Up and down, up and down, claiming him, her body contracting again and again.

He grabbed her hips and began to control the rhythm. She stretched out her arms and fell forward so she could keep moving and still support herself.

This angle was even better, she thought in amazement as her release went on. He continued to hold on to her hips until he suddenly squeezed as he held her still. Only he moved. Once, twice and then he groaned.

She opened her eyes and watched as his features tightened. Pleasure pulled his mouth straight. His breath caught. He groaned again and opened his eyes. They both smiled.

“Not bad,” she said. “The whole on-top thing was very nice.”

“Yes, I liked it, too.” His smile widened into a grin, then he laughed. “We should do this again some time.”

“I think I’d like that.”

He wrapped his arms around her and gently rolled her on to her side. They moved arms and legs so they were facing each other. Cal pulled the covers over them, then touched her face.

“You okay?”

“I feel as if every cell in my body just went to a really great party.”

“Good.”

“And you?” she asked.

“The same. I was kind of sweating it there at the end. I didn’t know how long I could hold out.”

“You did great.”

“Another two seconds and I would have lost it.”

She took his hand in hers and pulled it to her chest. “That would have been okay.”

“Not if I’d come first. That would have left you hanging.”

“I trust that you would have taken care of things in another way,” she told him. “Besides, there’s something exciting about a man being so aroused, he loses control. It’s very sexy.”

“You’re very sexy.”

She stared into his dark eyes and knew that she hadn’t been wrong before. She did love him. Maybe working together had given birth to new feelings, or maybe it had simply stirred up something that had always been there.

Whichever it was, it had taken seeing his emotional sacrifice with Lindsey for her to realize how she really felt.

Now what?

The phone rang. Cal rolled over and grabbed it.

“Hello?”

He listened for a second. “Okay. I’ll tell her. Yeah. Not long. Okay. Bye.”

He hung up and looked at her. “Talk about timing. Your family just arrived at your house. Dani is there, playing hostess.”

“What? But they’re early by a day! They weren’t coming until tomorrow.” She sat up and fought panic. “I’m not ready to see my parents. I was going to use tonight and tomorrow morning to brace myself.”

“I don’t know what to tell you. They’re here now.” He leaned over and kissed her bare shoulder. “At least they didn’t get here fifteen minutes earlier. That would have been a real drag.”

PENNY ARRIVED HOME to complete chaos.

“Penny!” her mother cried as she walked into the house. “I know, I know. We’re early. But we were sitting at breakfast this morning thinking there was nothing we would rather do today than drive over to Seattle. The hotel had rooms and your sisters were eager to make the drive, so here we are.”

Before Penny could respond, her mother, a petite woman with curly dark red hair and blue eyes, covered her mouth with her hands. “Oh, look at you. You’re showing! My baby’s having a baby.”

Penny stepped into her mother’s embrace. “Hi, Mom.”

“Joe! Joe, get out here. Penny’s home.”

Her father walked toward them and swept them up in his arms. “Hey, kid. How’s it going?”

“Good, Dad.”

Emily and Julie, Penny’s sisters, hurried out of the kitchen, their children running after them.

“Penny!”

Dani came out last, holding a bottle of water in one hand and a bowl of pretzels in the other. “I managed to get them fed and watered,” she said. “I’ll head out now. I have an appointment downtown.”

“Don’t go,” Fay, Penny’s mother, said. “We’ve put you out enough. We really have to get settled in our hotel.” She cupped Penny’s face. “It’s so good to see you. You’re happy. It’s right there in your eyes.”

Penny held in a wince. Hopefully her mother wouldn’t figure out any glow came from her very recent close encounter with Cal.

“I have an idea,” Joe said. He wrapped an arm around Penny. “Let’s go to the restaurant. We can have a look at that fancy place of hers, then go to the hotel.”

“Great idea,” Fay said. “We won’t keep you too long. We know it’s one of your busiest nights.”

“Don’t be silly.” Penny did a quick head count. “Sure. We can go to the restaurant now and look around, then you can come back for dinner at, say, seven.” She looked at her sisters. “Is that too late for the kids?”

Emily, her oldest sister, grinned. “No. It’s perfect. Sean’s mom lives in the area and she’s taking all the kids tonight and tomorrow for the day. Isn’t that the best? Julie and I will each have a room completely to ourselves. I know that doesn’t seem like a big deal to you—you get to be alone whenever you want. But for us, it’s heaven.”

“Unheard-of heaven,” Julie added. “I plan to close the bathroom door and not worry about anyone trying to call me or get in or need something. I may even take a bath.”

Penny grinned. “Okay, I’ll make sure to cook fast so you can have a maximum of bathroom time.”

“You don’t have to do that,” her mom said as she slipped her arm through Penny’s and hugged her close. “Your sisters are exaggerating about wanting to be alone.”

From behind Fay’s back both Julie and Emily mouthed, “No, we’re not!”

BY SEVEN THAT NIGHT, the kitchen was in its usual Saturday night pandemonium.

“Shallots,” one of the cooks yelled. “Who the fuck took my shallots?”

Penny grimaced. Stealing setup supplies was a clear invitation to be stabbed in the back. Literally.

Edouard clucked and hurried to the walk-in. He came back with shallots and made sure everyone was supplied before returning to his demiglaze.

“Thanks,” Penny told him.

“You are lucky I am in a good mood,” he said.

“Things happy at home?”

“Bliss,” he told her with a satisfied smile. “George wants to move in. We are talking about getting a cat together.”

“You can’t have Al. We need him here.”

“You’ll have to send him somewhere when the health department comes calling,” Edouard said.

“I know, but he’s worth it.” She grabbed a plate of salmon as it came past and slid on a small corn cake topped with crab.

“Order up,” she yelled.

Naomi appeared at her side. “Your parents are here. And your sisters. No kids or husbands. Should I be worried?”

“Husbands are at home, kids are with Grandma.”

“That’s the way to do it.” She picked up a second plate. “Should I offer to take them bar hopping?”

Penny didn’t want to think about her very married sisters hanging out in Naomi’s wild world.

“They’re kind of focused on having rooms to themselves and taking baths.”

“Well, I wouldn’t want to get in the way of that,” Naomi said as she hurried out of the kitchen.

Penny glanced around to make sure that everything seemed in order, then she left Edouard in charge as she made her way into the dining room. She smiled at Cal, who stood by the hostess station, then crossed to the table by the water where her family sat.

“Hi,” she said as she pulled up an empty chair. “Have you ordered?”

“Not yet,” her father said. “We were waiting to get a recommendation from the chef.”

Emily leaned close. “This place is terrific. Fabulous view. Did we know you were working with your ex-husband?”

“Oh, you saw Cal?” she asked, hoping to sound friendly and calm, not at all as if she’d spent a fair amount of the afternoon naked and begging for more.

“She told us,” her mother said. “I’m sure I mentioned it.” Fay glanced at him and waved. “I always thought it was a shame the two of you couldn’t work things out. Any sparks?”

“Not really,” Penny said, and hoped her mother had lost the ability to tell when she was lying.

Julie shook her head. “Let it go, Mom. Penny’s moved on, obviously. She’s having a baby on her own. She’s the perfect modern woman.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” Penny said, although she appreciated the vote of confidence.

“Speaking of the baby,” her mother said. “Are you sure you’d still like me to come out for a couple of weeks when it’s born? I don’t want to intrude or get in the way or—”

“Yes,” Penny said, cutting her off in midsentence. “I would love the help. I’m terrified of being on my own with the baby.”

Her mother beamed at her. “You’ll be fine, but I’m happy to help. We’ll work out the details later. Now let’s order some food.”

Penny made several suggestions, then excused herself to go back to the kitchen. Her mother rose and walked with her.

“You’ve done a wonderful job here, darling,” Fay said. “We’re all so proud and happy for you.”

“Thanks. It’s nice to hear. Especially after all the years I spent screwing up.”

Fay frowned. “Don’t say that. We never thought of it that way. You were trying to find what was right for you, that’s all.”

“But I flunked out of college. Twice. And let me tell you, it’s hard to flunk out of community college.”

“You refused to settle. Your father and I always admired that about you.”

“Really?”

“Of course. All I’ve ever wanted was for my girls to be happy. You’ve made that happen. Oh, Emily and Julie did, too, but in a more traditional way. They knew what to expect from their lives. You never did. You forged your own path. That takes courage.”

Until that moment, Penny had always assumed her parents saw her as a failure. That they’d been disappointed in her stops and starts along the road of figuring out what she wanted to do with her life.

“Thanks, Mom,” she said and kissed the other woman on the cheek. “You’re the best.”

Her mother laughed. “All I ask is a chance to taste your cooking.”

“I promise.”

Fay returned to the table. Penny continued toward the kitchen, only to be intercepted by Cal.

“Your folks are here.”

“I know. Sorry. I forgot to tell you.” She stared at his face, liking the way the light played on his features. “Hi.”

“Hi, yourself. How are you feeling?”

“As if I could sing opera,” she said with a smile. “You?”

“Pretty damned good.” He jerked his head toward the table with her family. “Okay for me to go over and say hello? Or would that be too awkward?”

“I think it would be fine. They always liked you.”

“Good. Then I’ll do that.” He brushed his fingertips down her arm. “Maybe we can get together later?”

“I’d like that.”

She walked into the kitchen only to find Naomi standing in the middle of the room with her hands on her hips.

“What?” Penny asked.

Naomi grabbed her and pulled her into her office. “I saw that,” she said. “The whole thing. The intimate conversation. The private touches. There’s something going on with you and Cal.”

“No, there isn’t. Well, maybe. Something. But it’s no big deal.” If she didn’t count being in love with him. Then it was practically nothing.

“And?” Naomi demanded.

“And, what? I went with him to see his daughter. He decided not to tell Lindsey who he is. It was hard for him. I saw the whole thing and it made me…”

“Yes?”

“It made me like him.”

“Ha. As if that’s all that’s going on between you. I know there’s more, but I’m not sure I’m up to the details. Just be sure this time.”

“What?”

Naomi sighed. “Be sure. Last time you left. You shouldn’t leave. It’s wrong and it hurts the people left behind.”

The unfair accusation stunned her. “I didn’t leave. Okay, technically I did move out, but that was only because Cal didn’t care. He’s admitted so himself. He didn’t love me.”

“You didn’t fight for him.” Naomi held up a hand. “Look, I’m sorry. You don’t need this from me and I’m hardly in any position to judge. I’m the queen of running away.”

Penny was having a hard time getting her head around the conversation. “I didn’t run from Cal.”

“Yes, you did. And that’s okay. I’m just saying that before you start something up again, you need to know if you’re in it for the long haul.”

Naomi returned to the kitchen, leaving Penny speechless and annoyed.

She hadn’t run. Cal had disappeared emotionally long before she’d moved out. The problems in their marriage weren’t about her. Were they?

As she walked to the door a voice in her head pointed out that it took two to make or break any relationship. That no one person was all in the wrong or all in the right. That maybe, just maybe, she had some culpability in what had gone wrong.

DANI HATED EVERYTHING about Gloria’s office. The size, the whiteness of it all. Being here always made her feel as if she’d been called to the principal’s office, even when she’d been the one to request the meeting.

It was seven-thirty on a Saturday night. Most people were at home with family or out on dates or with friends. Not her grandmother. Gloria was at the office and if Dani wanted to talk to her, that was where she had to be, too.

“You may go in now,” her secretary said, holding open the door to the inner sanctum.

Dani smiled at the woman, one of two secretaries Gloria employed. Her hours were such that one assistant simply wasn’t enough.

“Dani,” Gloria said from behind her very large, very white desk. “How nice of you to ask to see me.”

Gloria didn’t stand or offer to shake hands or hug. Not at the office. Here things were strictly business. Here they were never family.

“I took the liberty of going over the numbers at Burger Heaven,” Gloria continued as she motioned to the chair opposite her desk. “They look good. So I don’t think there’s a problem there, is there?”

“No.”

Dani had dressed carefully in a pantsuit with a silk blouse. She kept her back straight as she perched at the edge of the chair.

“Burger Heaven is doing well,” she said. “Which is why I wanted to see you. I’ve served my time there, Gloria. There’s nothing left for me to learn. I’m ready to move up in the company.”

Gloria sighed. “You’ve said that before, Dani. Several times. No matter how I discourage you, you keep insisting on wanting to move up. Why is that?”

“Because I’ve earned the chance to prove myself somewhere else.” She swallowed, then braced herself. “I either want to be promoted within the company or I’m resigning.”

Gloria didn’t react at all. Not a lash flickered, not a muscle moved. She regarded Dani for several seconds before saying, “I will not tolerate being threatened by you, young lady.”

Dani ignored the young lady bit. “I’m not threatening you. I’m stating a fact. I have both the education and experience to take on more responsibility. This is my career and I refuse to spend it managing Burger Heaven. If you don’t want to give me a chance, then I’ll find a company that does.”

“I doubt you’ll find many,” Gloria said with a sniff.

Dani ignored the hurt that jabbed her. She’d known this was going to go badly. She had to remember why she was here and stay on topic.

“I disagree,” she said. “My employment record and accomplishments speak for themselves. I won’t have any trouble finding another job and moving up. We both know that. So why do you have a problem with me? Why are you always treating me as if I’m second best? Is it because I’m a woman? I can’t believe that of you. You’re a woman and look what you’ve accomplished.”

“You’re right,” Gloria told her, a flicker of anger in her eyes. “I have brought this company to greatness. I am responsible for our success. Don’t you dare come to me with your stupid request—”

“It’s not stupid. It’s reasonable. You haven’t held anyone back the way you’ve kept me down. So why?”

Her grandmother leaned toward her. The air seemed to dip ten degrees. “Be very careful before you ask me that,” she said, her voice low. “I don’t think you’re prepared to hear the truth.”

“I think I’m up to it, Gloria,” she said, suddenly not the least bit afraid. After all, what could the woman say?

“All right. But when I’ve told you, don’t come crying to me, saying it’s all too much.”

“Sure. Whatever.” Talk about a love of melodrama.

Gloria leaned back in her chair. “Many years ago, before you were born, your mother took up with a man. She was unfaithful to my son. My son. Their affair continued for several years and produced a child—you, Danielle. You are your mother’s bastard and not a Buchanan at all. I kept quiet to spare my son the shame. But I’ve never forgotten. Every time I look at you, I see proof that bitch betrayed my son. You are your mother’s daughter and you are nothing to me.”

Dani heard the words, but they didn’t make sense. They couldn’t. Not a Buchanan? But she had always been a Buchanan.

“You’re lying,” she said.

“I am not, but if it would make you happy, we could have one of those DNA tests done. I’m confident it will show you are not one of us.”

Dani didn’t remember standing, but suddenly she was by the door.

“Burger Heaven is as much as you deserve,” Gloria told her. “Be grateful I let you have that much.”

Funny how an hour ago Dani had thought her life couldn’t get any worse. Obviously, she’d been wrong.

“You can have it back,” she told her grandmother. “I quit.”

“You can’t.”

“Of course I can. If I’m a bitch like my mother, I can do any damn thing I please.”

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

PENNY WALKED OUT of the kitchen just ahead of the desserts. As she crossed the dining room toward her family’s table, they all stood and began to clap.

Stunned, she froze in place.

“My daughter is the chef,” her father said loudly to the other patrons. “Wasn’t your meal great?”

To her astonishment, everyone else stood and began applauding. She glanced around at the smiling faces and didn’t have a clue as to what she should do now.

The door to the kitchen opened. Penny turned toward it, hoping for a rescue or a reason to escape. Instead Naomi appeared with most of the kitchen staff. They started clapping, too. Cal came out last. He walked over to Penny and stood next to her.

“Did I hire the right person or what?” he asked. Everyone laughed.

Servers appeared with glasses of champagne.

“Didn’t we recently do the toast thing?” she whispered to him.

“That was about the success of the restaurant,” he said. “This is about you. Smile and drink your club soda.”

She took the glass he handed to her and waited until everyone had been served.

“To Penny,” Cal said.

“To Penny,” echoed the crowd.

Fifteen minutes later, when order had been restored to the dining room, Penny went looking for Cal and found him in his office.

“That was surreal,” she said. “Did you plan it?”

“No. Naomi came into the kitchen and said that you were getting a standing ovation in the dining room and I said to break out the champagne. You should be proud of what you’ve accomplished.”

“I am,” she said. “But I never expected a reaction like that.” She sat down. “When I spoke with my mom earlier, I mentioned that she and my dad must be happy that I finally figured out what I want to be when I grow up. I thought they were disappointed that I went from career to career, flunked out of college. All that stuff. But she said she was glad I’d taken the time to really figure out what I wanted to do. She liked that I didn’t settle.”

“So they surprised you in a good way.”

“It’s more than that. Their opinion of me was never what I thought it was and it never occurred to me to ask. I guess I didn’t want my worst fears confirmed. I made a lot of assumptions.”

“You know what they say about that.”

She wrinkled her nose. “I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that. My point is, what else was I wrong about?”

“Maybe nothing.”

Or maybe everything. She’d been so sure that leaving Cal had been the right thing to do. She’d been so sure she knew everything about him. Now she was beginning to feel she knew nothing about anyone.

“Did I run away from our marriage?” she asked.

He shrugged. “A case could be made for that, but I sure as hell didn’t come after you. There was so much crap going on back then, Penny. We were both struggling to make sense of things. I should have told you about Lindsey.”

She considered that. “The information would have made a big difference.”

“But would it have changed the outcome? Back then I couldn’t imagine ever being ready to have another child.”

And now? On the one hand she knew that he was a different man—that he’d changed and grown. On the other, he’d admitted to never really loving her during their marriage.

“We couldn’t seem to find common ground,” he said. “I wanted to protect you. You didn’t think you needed it and saw my actions as walking all over your dreams.”

“Because you didn’t help me get the job at Buchanan’s.”

“I’m sorry about that,” he said.

“It’s okay. I understand now what you were doing.”

“But you didn’t back then. I hurt you and I never wanted to do that. I’m sorry.” He’d obviously cared. So why not love? Had he been afraid?

Her heart swelled, making her chest ache. “I’m sorry, too,” she whispered.

They’d had so much and then they’d lost it. If only they could have talked back then.

Or was this the way it was supposed to be? Did they need a chance to grow and change to find themselves at this point in time?

Naomi stuck her head in the office. “Sorry to interrupt, but the kitchen’s on fire.”

Penny scrambled to her feet. “You’re kidding, right?”

“Not really.”

Cal followed her. They walked into a smoke-filled kitchen.

“Just some grease,” Edouard said, fanning the air. “It’s out now.”

The printer kicked to life, spitting out several more orders.

“Can we get back to business?” she asked. “Is it manageable or do I need to kick someone’s ass?”

“We’re good,” Edouard said.

Cal’s cell phone rang. He flipped it open and said, “Hello.”

Penny went around the counter to deal with the residual cleanup from the fire. One of their pans was misshapen and two dinners had been ruined, but the flames were out and the vent system made short work of the smoke.

“Are these dinners at different tables?”

They would be. That was always the way, but a girl could hope.

Naomi confirmed the bad news.

“Get them up and cooking,” Penny called. “These are our priority, people.” She turned to say something to Edouard when she noticed Cal hanging up.

“What happened?” she asked as she took in his worried expression. “Is Lindsey okay?”

“What? Oh, she’s fine. That was Dani. She needs me to come by after work. Something happened. She sounded upset, but she won’t say what.”

One of the servers came into the kitchen. “Um, Penny? Your family is leaving. They’d like a chance to say goodbye.”

Cal touched her arm. “There’s nothing we can do now. I’ll come get you before I leave, then we’ll go over to your place together.”

“No. I think this is a family matter. I’ll stay here until you’ve talked to her. Then you can call and give me the all clear.”

“It’s not that big a deal.”

“You don’t know that, Cal. If Dani had wanted me there, she would have asked. I’ll stay here.”

While part of her brain processed details like the number of customers and orders yet to be filled, the rest of her mind turned over the problem of Cal.

Had she left their marriage too soon? If she’d stayed, could they have learned their lessons—him to give with his whole heart, her to believe he wanted her to succeed? They’d come a long way. If only he would love her—really love her.

Was it possible, or was she just wishing for the moon?

CAL PARKED behind Reid’s car and an unfamiliar truck he figured had to belong to Walker. Which meant Dani had called a family meeting. Maybe Penny had been right—this looked serious.

As he climbed out of the car, he wondered if Hugh had dropped another bombshell. If so, wheelchair or not, Cal was going to have to beat the crap out of the man.

He walked up to Penny’s front door, which opened before he could knock.

Reid greeted him. “Good. She wouldn’t say anything until we were all together. Why do I know Hugh just won bastard of the year?”

“That’s what I’m thinking, too. If so, we’ll take care of it.”

“You got that right.”

They walked into the living room, where Walker sat on the sofa. Dani stood by the small fireplace. She had a drink in her hand and a look of stark pain in her eyes.

He crossed to her. “Dani, what’s wrong?”

When he went to hold her, she sidestepped his embrace.

“Get yourself something to drink and have a seat,” she said.

“Dani?”

She shook her head. “You can’t fix this with a hug, Cal. Just get a drink. Please.”

Reid walked into the living room and handed him a beer. The two of them joined Walker on the sofa.

Dani faced them. “I went to see Gloria. I wanted to talk to her about my career with the company. I told her I was done with Burger Heaven and either she moved me up the food chain or I was quitting.”

Cal was getting a bad feeling in his gut. Nothing good could have come from the conversation.

“She’s a bitch, Dani,” Reid said. “Consider the source.”

His sister clutched her glass in both hands. She looked each of them in the face, then spoke. “She told me I would never move up in the company. When I pointed out that I had the most education in the business of any of her grandchildren and that I wanted it more, she explained why neither of those things was an issue. Can you guess why?”

Cal kept his gaze firmly locked on Dani. He watched pain fill her eyes and then he knew Gloria had finally made good on her threat to tell Dani about her father.

He stood. “Dani, it’s not—”

She turned on him. “Don’t you dare try to tell me this doesn’t matter. Of course it matters. It’s my life. It’s who I am.”

She glared at him as she spoke, then she set her glass down on the mantel and folded her arms over her chest.

“Oh, God. You know.”

He didn’t know what to say or do. Penny had warned him to come clean with Dani more than once. She’d said it would be a disaster if Dani found out on her own and she’d been right.

Walker and Reid stood. They looked at each other, then at Dani.

“Listen,” Reid began.

“No!” Dani took two steps back.

Cal moved toward her. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m so sorry.”

Tears filled her eyes. “I thought the worst of it was finding out I wasn’t who I thought I was. I thought the worst was knowing I wasn’t really one of you, but that’s not the worst, is it?”

“You’re one of us,” Cal told her. “You’re my baby sister. I love you, Dani.”

“How long?” she demanded. “How long have you known?”

Walker looked at him, then turned to Dani. “Since high school. That’s when Gloria told me. She said that she would tell you the truth if I went into the marines. I talked to Cal and Reid and found out she’d threatened them, as well. It was information she used to keep us in line. But I knew that if she hadn’t already told you the truth, for some reason she didn’t want to.”

Cal hadn’t thought of the situation that way, but Walker was right. Gloria had used whatever threat she thought would work best. He’d never considered that it was all just a game to her. He’d always been willing to do anything to protect Dani.

“I love you so much,” he told her. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”

She dismissed his statement with a frown. “Oh, please. You’ve been keeping secrets from me all my life.”

A single tear rolled down her cheek. She brushed it away impatiently. “What else did you know? What else did you keep from me? Hugh’s affair? Did he tell you all about it?”

Reid grabbed her by the upper arms, and stared into her face. “Dammit, Dani, stop it. I’m sorry. We’re all sorry. No, we didn’t know about your bastard husband. Yes, we’ve kept secrets, but only because we didn’t want to hurt you.”

“Don’t you think it hurts to never fit in? Don’t you think it hurts to not be one of the guys? To know you three have a bond I’ll never have?”

Cal reached for her. She jerked away from him, but he pulled her close and held her against him.

“You mean the world to us.”

“Bullshit. You treat me like a child. Do you know what it was like to keep trying and trying? Year after year I worked my butt off trying to please Gloria and no matter what I did it wasn’t enough. You all stood there, watching me fail and you never once thought to tell me why? To spare me that?”

She was right, he thought. This time when she tried to pull away, he let her.

She glared at them. “This was not your decision to make.”

Reid shook his head. “How do you say something like that to your only sister?”

“You find the words and if they don’t come easily, you keep looking for them. And I’m not your sister.”

Cal stared at her. “You will always be my sister. I don’t give a damn about who your father is. You’re my sister.”

“Half, technically,” she told him. “Get out.”

“What?”

She sucked in a breath. “Just go. I don’t want to talk to any of you. Go!”

The last word came out as a scream. Cal looked at his brothers, then back at her. Was it better to give her time, or should he try to get her to understand that he’d only been trying to protect her?

As soon as he thought the words, he realized that he’d screwed up trying to protect Penny all those years ago and he’d just made things even worse with Dani. It seemed as if he wasn’t very good at taking care of those he loved.

“Dani,” Reid began.

She took a step back. “Just get out of here. I don’t want to see you or talk to you.”

Walker nodded. “We’ll be in touch tomorrow.”

Instead of responding, she walked out of the living room. A few seconds later, a door slammed.

“Shit,” Cal said as he rubbed his jaw. “What the hell was Gloria thinking? I never thought she’d really tell Dani.”

“We should have been the ones,” Reid said.

“Ya think?”

Walker stepped between them. “We need to give her time. Some wounds need to bleed for a while.”

Cal knew Walker was right but he didn’t want to think of his sister bleeding. He didn’t want her hurt ever and he hated knowing he could have helped ease this one.

“I don’t think she should be alone,” Reid said.

“Penny will be home soon,” Cal told him.

Walker looked between them. “Should we give her a heads-up?”

Cal wasn’t sure how to answer. In truth, Penny already knew about Dani, so she wouldn’t be surprised.

“I’ll call her,” he said at last. “She’ll get here as soon as she can.”

PENNY HESITATED a second before turning in to her driveway. She was still trying to figure out what she was going to say to Dani.

A fight with family was one thing. Finding out you weren’t family was something else.

Of all the siblings, Dani was the one most interested in being a Buchanan. She had always defined herself that way—by her name and her connection to the business. Even when she’d married Hugh, she’d refused to change her name.

Penny parked, then climbed out of her car. She cupped her belly, hoping her concerns weren’t upsetting the baby.

“There’s going to be a lot of emotion, little one. Some crying and maybe even some bad language. None of this is about you. I love you very much and we’re going to be fine.”

With that she drew in a breath and walked into the house.

She found Dani curled up on the sofa in the living room. There was an open bottle of Merlot in front of her. Her eyes were swollen and bloodshot, her face blotchy. She was misery personified.

“Oh, Dani,” Penny breathed.

Her new roommate looked up. “Tell me Cal already told you so that I don’t have to repeat myself.”

“He did. I’m so sorry.”

“Yeah. Me, too.” She picked up her wine and took a drink. “Screw ’em all. What do I care about being a Buchanan? They’re all a bunch of losers. Good riddance. The same with Gloria.”

But as she spoke tears spilled onto her cheeks. Penny dropped her coat and her purse on the floor, then hurried to her friend’s side.

“I don’t know what to say,” she admitted as she sat on the sofa and touched Dani’s arm. “I wish I did.”

“Me, too,” Dani admitted. “Oh, God, Penny, this hurts so much. Way more than finding out Hugh was having an affair. That was a betrayal of trust. I wasn’t happy, but I knew I’d recover. This is different. I don’t even know who I am anymore.”

“Yes, you do. You’re a bright, ambitious, hardworking, wonderful woman. You’re caring and loyal. Plus you got the looks in the family.”

Dani gave a faint smile as she brushed away her tears. “So you’re saying I’m prettier than my brothers?”

“Absolutely. Although Reid comes fairly close.”

“I agree. It’s the eyes.” Her mouth began to quiver as her smile faded. Her whole body trembled. “I can’t do this. I can’t survive.”

“Yes, you can,” Penny told her. “You may not like it and you’re going to hate how much it hurts, but you will survive. You know why?”

Dani shook her head.

“Because you’re tough. That’s the main reason. The other is you’re not going to give that bitch Gloria the satisfaction of winning.”

Once again Dani smiled through her tears. “You’re right about that. I’m so angry at her. Furious. I always knew she had a thing for power and running our lives, but I refused to believe she was deliberately cruel. But she is.”

“She’s horrible,” Penny said. “You’re doing such a great job for her, but she can’t see that.”

“I know.” Dani sighed. “And to tell me that way. I think she was almost happy to be able to ruin my life.”

“No,” Penny said. “Don’t say that. She didn’t ruin anything. Not if you don’t let her.”

“She sure didn’t make things better,” Dani said. “I don’t know who I am anymore.”

“That’s bullshit,” Penny said.

Dani blinked at her. “Excuse me?”

She stood and then motioned for Dani to rise. “Come here.”

Penny led the way into the hall bathroom. After turning on the light, she pulled Dani in next to her and had her face the mirror.

“What’s different?” she asked. “Look and tell me what’s different.”

Dani glanced at her reflection and grimaced. “I’m really puffy.”

“Ignore that. I mean what’s different about you? What has changed in the past twenty-four hours?”

“I don’t know who my father is. I’m not a Buchanan.”

“I know that. But your experiences are still your experiences. Your body is still your body. You’re talking about context, and yes, I’ll agree that can change everything, but it doesn’t have to. Not if you don’t let it.”

“But…”

Penny shook her head. “No buts, young lady. Yes, things are crappy now. Really crappy. This may be the worst moment of your life. But you will come out of it and you will be fine. Because the wonderful, empowered person you are hasn’t changed.”

Dani leaned over and hugged her. “Thanks for trying to help.”

“Hey, I’m not just trying here.”

Dani managed a weak smile. “Okay. Thanks for helping.”

“Better.”

She dropped her hand to Penny’s stomach. “You must be so happy about the baby.”

“I am.”

“I’ll get there someday. You’re right. This hurts so much and I don’t know how I’m going to survive it. But I will survive and I’ll go on and one day I’ll have everything I want.”

“Yes, you will. And when that happens, I’m going to be standing right next to you saying ‘I told you so.’”

THE NEXT WEEK PASSED in relative quiet. Penny figured they’d all earned the break.

The restaurant did well, Lindsey was released from the hospital, and while Dani was still emotionally devastated, she was making forward progress. Even the rats were gone, thanks to a very efficient Al.

Penny sat at her desk playing with different combinations for specials for the following week. The Alaskan fishing season was well underway, giving her access to some wonderful seafood. She was already receiving produce from the WallaWalla area and parts of Oregon. When the Walla Walla onions made their appearance, she had some great ideas in mind.

“Maybe a special tasting dinner,” she murmured. “One that features whatever is fresh and special.”

She made a note. That was something she would discuss with Cal later. Right now she needed to be brilliant.

“Salmon?” She loved salmon. It was about her favorite fish. But maybe something else. Something…

“Am I interrupting?”

Penny glanced up and saw Gloria standing in the doorway to her office. Great. The rats might be gone, but now there was a snake in the kitchen.

She wanted to tell the older woman to get her ass out, but technically, she did own The Waterfront and was Penny’s boss’s boss.

“I’m working on specials for next week,” Penny said. “I’ll be putting in my fish order fairly soon.”

“Ah, how interesting. I don’t suppose there’s any chanceyou’ll be taking the fish and chips off the menu.”

Penny forced herself to smile. “It’s our best seller.”

“How unfortunate. I always thought the people of Seattle had better taste than that.”

Penny ground her teeth together. “Did you stop by just to insult me, Gloria, or is there another reason?”

Gloria moved into her office and took a seat. “Insult you? I most certainly did not. Really, Penny, what a thing to say. I was saying that I didn’t like the fish and chips and wished they weren’t on the menu. How is that an insult?” She sighed. “You’re the executive chef. I suppose it’s reasonable for you to have a sense of ownership where the menu is concerned. That’s quite commendable.”

Penny frowned. Gloria sounded so reasonable, yet she was sure there was plenty more to come.

But before she could ask Gloria why she’d stopped by, the other woman glanced at her stomach and said, “You’re showing, dear. When is the baby due?”

“September.”

“A lovely time of year. I was told you don’t know who the father is. Is that true?”

“I had in vitro fertilization using a sperm donor, if that’s what you mean.”

“Uh-huh. So you know nothing about the man.”

“I have general information on him and his medical history.”

“But not his character.” She leaned forward. “It’s very much like buying those unmarked cans at the grocery store. It’s so very easy to get a bad batch of peas or carrots and not know until you’ve already brought them home.”

“Thanks for the warning.”

“I did want to warn you, dear,” Gloria continued. “I know you have your heart set on Cal, but it’s not going to happen. He’s never forgiven you for walking out on him. He’s not interested in you or your bastard. I know. He told me.”

Penny didn’t care that this woman was in charge or that she was elderly. She stood and pointed to the door. “Get out.”

Gloria rose. “He won’t marry you, if that’s what you’re hoping. You may think he’s changed, but who really does? In truth, he gave up Lindsey and he gave you up once already. Why would he keep you now?”

“If you don’t leave, I’m going to call for the guys in the kitchen to haul you out,” Penny said, trying not to give in to the anger rising inside of her.

“We both know you won’t do that,” Gloria told her. “My words may sound cruel, but I’m telling you this for your own good. Cal’s contract with the restaurant is only for four months. He’s leaving.”

She spoke so triumphantly that Penny didn’t feel bad about bursting her bubble.

“You love to get in between people and mess around. I think it’s your idea of a good time. But here’s the thing. I already know Cal’s leaving. He told me the first day he tried to hire me.”

Gloria smiled. “Of course he did. Did he also mention that his little coffee company is expanding? They’re going to be opening stores back east. A complete waste of Cal’s talent if you ask me, but there we are. He’s heading the team. As soon as his job here is finished, he’s moving to New York. Did he happen to mention that?”

Penny didn’t want to believe her. It couldn’t be true. Cal moving? He hadn’t said a word.

“You’re a cold, calculating lying bitch,” she told Gloria. “I don’t know why you find such pleasure in hurting people, but you do. Dani only ever wanted to make you proud of her, but you couldn’t accept that. You had to run her off.”

Gloria sniffed. “Dani is hardly my granddaughter. We’re no blood relation at all.”

“Funny how worried you are that Dani’s not a Buchanan when you’re not one yourself. If I remember my history correctly, you married into this family. You were a poor nobody. What? A hotel chambermaid?”

Gloria stiffened.

Penny allowed herself a slight smile. “Oh, yeah. I did my research on you years ago. I know all about your affair with Ian Buchanan and how when that ended, you married his son. Tell me, Gloria. Were you still banging Daddy when you walked down the aisle with the son?”

“You slut,” Gloria hissed.

“You should know.”

“I’ll destroy you.”

“You can try. I’m up to the fight. But before you waste your effort on that, let me share one thing with you. You’re an old woman. You’ll be dead soon. But first you’re going to be alone because you’ve driven anyone interested in loving you away. Now get the hell out of my kitchen.”

CHAPTER NINETEEN

PENNY SAT IN HER OFFICE long after Gloria had left. She had to wait for the shaking to stop before she could catch her breath. That hadn’t just happened, she told herself, even though she knew it had. No one could imagine an encounter like that. At least not on purpose.

“A nightmare,” she murmured. “That woman is a nightmare.”

She put her arms on her desk and rested her head on them. It was fine, she told herself. She was fine. Gloria could scream and yell and tell all the lies she wanted, but Penny refused to believe them. There was no way that old bitch was going to drive a wedge between her and Cal.

Of course she knew he was only working at the restaurant for four months. He’d told her that from the beginning. He wasn’t the man he had been three years ago. He didn’t keep secrets anymore. She knew about Lindsey and Dani and why he’d tried to keep her out of the family business. Honestly, after Gloria’s last visit, his motivation seemed more noble than ever.

But he hadn’t mentioned anything about expanding The Daily Grind back east.

“No,” she said as she sat up. “No, no, no. I won’t let her get away with this.”

Cal wasn’t leaving. He would have told her. They’d become friends. They were lovers. Their lives were entwined in a way they hadn’t been since they were married. She mattered to him. She had to because she was totally in love with him.

“Everything is fine,” she said aloud. But the words didn’t sound right and she didn’t believe them.

Hating herself for letting Gloria get to her, she found an old phone book in her bottom desk draw and looked up the corporate headquarters for The Daily Grind. After a receptionist answered, she asked for someone in charge of their corporate expansion.

CAL SAT in his office at The Daily Grind and considered his life. After tallying up the wins and losses, he knew he’d come up short of even, which meant he needed a new game plan.

Dani was furious at him, and rightfully so. He should have told her a long time ago. He should have known she was tough enough to hear the truth and that however it hurt her, better that she hear it from someone who loved her rather than from Gloria whose agenda was her own twisted secret. Dani would survive, but the timing sucked, coming on the heels of Hugh’s shitty behavior.

He should have listened to Penny.

Shaking his head, he turned to his computer, but instead of the screen, he saw Penny’s smiling face. So much had happened so quickly, he thought. So much had changed. After the divorce he’d assumed she was out of his life forever. He’d resisted taking the job at The Waterfront because he didn’t want to deal with Gloria. But she’d guilted him into it and because of that, he and Penny were…

Were what? Back together? He wouldn’t go that far, but they mattered to each other. Once again he’d fallen for her smile, her brain, her talent. She was funny and beautiful and fearless.

She was strong. Having a baby on her own. He never would have guessed that one, even knowing how much she wanted children. She would be a great mom.

He stood and walked to the window. His side of the building looked toward Lake Union. As he stared out on the cloudy sky, he thought about her growing bigger with her baby. About her giving birth…by herself.

No, not by herself. Naomi would be there. And Dani. Reid. Would he? Would he want to be in the room with her, holding her hand, telling her to breathe?

The question immobilized him. What did he want with Penny?

Instantly Lindsey came to mind, but for once he didn’t think about all he’d lost by giving her up. Instead he thought about her life. How much her parents loved her. How much she was their world. They didn’t care that they hadn’t created her themselves.

It could be like that, he thought. For him and Penny’s baby. Loving a child wasn’t about biology. It was about the heart.

Seventeen years ago, he’d made the only choice that made sense. Now, with hindsight, he knew it was the right choice. He’d allowed guilt and anger to blind him to that. He’d punished himself by refusing to be happy.

He swore under his breath. That blindness had cost him his marriage, he realized.

How long had he been holding his heart in check so he didn’t get hurt? All his life? Maybe since his parents had died. Maybe since Gloria had started running his world with her twisted rules and cruel threats.

“Damn,” he muttered. “Get some therapy and move on, guy.”

He would move on, but not by himself. He loved Penny and he’d learned enough to make things work with her, if she would give him a chance.

Talk about an uphill battle, he thought grimly. If she knew he hadn’t wanted children before, children who were his, why would she believe he was willing to accept someone else’s baby?

He would convince her, he told himself. He would make her understand what was in his heart. He would tell her he’d finally learned what it meant to love someone. To love her.

He walked back to his desk and started to shut down his computer. Before it had finished, his assistant buzzed him.

“Yes,” he said.

“There’s someone to see you. Penny Jackson.”

Penny? “Send her in.”

He’d hoped to have a little time to figure out what he was going to say, but maybe it would be better to simply tell her now. The sooner he started convincing her, the sooner they could begin their life together.

The door opened. He stepped toward her, then stopped when he saw the fury in her eyes.

“You snake,” she said, her voice low and angry. “You lying, scummy, slithery snake. I consider myself a reasonable person. I’m willing to overlook a lot. I give second chances, but you are disgusting.”

He crossed to her and reached for her shoulders. She quickly stepped back.

“Don’t you dare touch me. Don’t ever touch me again.”

Cold panic slipped through him. “What the hell happened?”

She glared at him. “I defended you. I can’t believe it, but I did. Gloria came by for one of her emotional hit-and-runs. I defended you and all the time it was true.”

He opened his mouth to ask what she was talking about when he suddenly knew. He groaned.

“You’re leaving,” she said. “In less than a month you’re packing it all up and leaving Seattle. I understand everyone is very excited about The Daily Grind expanding back east. Too bad I don’t have stock in the damn company.”

“Penny, no.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Don’t try to tell me it’s not true, Cal. I’ve already spoken to someone at your company. He was very friendly and explained the whole damn plan.”

Tears filled her eyes. She brushed them away with her hand. “I believed you,” she said. “I trusted you.”

“I’m sorry,” he said as sincerely as he knew how. “I should have told you.”

“Oh, right, but it just slipped your mind.”

“Yes,” he yelled. “I forgot! With all the crap going on lately, is that so much of a surprise? When I first hired you I told you I was the GM for four months. I didn’t think you cared what I did after that. Later, when we got involved, I planned to tell you but it wasn’t foremost on my mind. I didn’t keep this from you deliberately. It just happened. Besides, I’ve been talking to my partners. I’ve been rethinking my plans. It might be better if I stayed here.”

“Might be better?” she screamed. “That’s the best you can do? But it might not? Tell me, when do you plan to make up your mind?” She raised her hand. “On second thought, forget it. I don’t care anymore.”

She closed her eyes, then opened them. “I am such a fool,” she said, her voice back to normal, but so thick with sadness that he ached to hear her.

“You’re not,” he told her.

“A lot you know. You’re the reason. You’d think I’d learn. What’s that old saying? Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Well, shame on me.”

What did that mean? He knew he was in deep shit with Penny, but he couldn’t help a flicker of hope deep inside.

“Penny?”

“Don’t even go there,” she told him. “Not anymore. I loved you, Cal. Maybe for the second time, maybe I never stopped. I don’t know and now I don’t care. Because the truth is, you’re no different than you ever were. You still keep secrets. You’re still holding back, playing it safe, making sure you don’t get hurt. You’re still not willing to put your heart on the line. I’m not interested in a man like that. I’m not interested in someone I can’t trust.”

“But you love me.”

She grimaced. “I’ll get over it. And you.”

“But I love you, too.”

She stared at him for a long time, then turned toward the door. “I’ve heard that before and I know how little those words are worth.”

“IF THIS IS GOING TO become a regular occurrence,” Naomi said from her place next to Penny on the sofa, “then we’re going to need to establish some ground rules.”

Penny used the tissue to wipe her face, although she wasn’t sure why she bothered. No mattered how quickly she mopped up her tears, there were plenty of new ones to take their place.

“A code so we can call each other on the phone,” Naomi said as she continued to rub Penny’s back.

“A schedule so we don’t all break down at the same time,” Dani said from Penny’s other side.

“T-that would be good,” Penny said as she tried to fight the sobs building up inside of her.

She’d been hurt before—mostly by Cal—but somehow this felt worse. Maybe because she’d thought she’d figured everything out. She thought she’d found the solution, only to realize she’d been wrong about everything.

Despite the ache around her heart and the sense that she would never again draw breath without wanting to scream, she knew she had to do her best to get past what had happened. At least the physical part. Her trembling, sobbing, angry state couldn’t be good for the baby.

“You guys are great,” she said, trying to focus on them instead of herself. “For being here with me.”

“Hey, I don’t have a job,” Dani said with a sigh. “Where else would I be?”

Penny did her best to smile. “Good point.”

“I work for you,” Naomi said. “You’re the boss. You say jump, I say how high.”

“Also good.”

“So we’re not here because we care,” Dani said.

Penny sniffed. “That’ll put me in my place.”

The two women leaned in and hugged her.

“I’m sorry,” Dani whispered in her ear. “I never knew my brother was such a big butthead.”

“Yeah,” Naomi said. “I’d nearly forgiven him for being a bastard the last time. I’ll never forgive him for this.”

“That’ll show him,” Penny said, then choked on a sob. “Oh, God. I don’t think I can get through this. I know wounds heal and time helps and all that crap, but right now, I don’t think I can do it.”

“We’re here,” Naomi told her.

“Not going anywhere,” Dani added.

“I just thought this time was different,” Penny said as she wiped her face with another tissue. “I thought he was different. I thought I mattered. I fell back in love with him.”

“Men’ll get you every time,” Dani said as she leaned against Penny’s shoulder. “I just didn’t think Cal…” She paused, then said. “I’m sorry. I’m fighting the urge to defend him. I want to tell you that he had a hard time, being the oldest. Gloria, trying to protect us. The usual. But I won’t.”

“You can,” Penny said. “How sick is that? I wouldn’t mind listening to you defend him.”

“Typical,” Naomi murmured. “I forgive you.”

“Thanks.” She drew in a deep breath and did her best to absorb the support from her friends. “I thought he was different. I thought he would be willing to take a chance on us. I was so stupid.”

“Loving someone is never stupid,” Naomi said. “It can hurt like hell, but it’s never stupid.”

“I agree,” Dani said. “I say that even as I feel like the world’s biggest idiot. I mean, my soon-to-be ex-husband is currently sleeping with one of his students. So I’m not just stupid, I’m a bad cliché. But there’s hope. I can still laugh at things and I have you guys.”

“I’m glad we’re together,” Penny said, putting her arms around both of them. “You’re right. This will get better. I have so much in my life. The restaurant, the baby. My family. And the good news is with Cal leaving, I don’t have to worry about running into him anywhere. I would really hate that.”

More tears filled her eyes. “I seem to be leaking again.”

“That’s okay. Things could be worse,” Naomi told her. “I’m not sure how, but they could.”

Penny laughed. “You are always a ray of sunshine.”

“That’s me.”

Penny looked at her friend. “I’m going to miss you so much.”

Naomi straightened. “What are you talking about? I’m not going anywhere.”

“Of course you are. I’ve known you a long time and I know you’re not the type of person who runs away from things. You’ve always lived on your own terms.”

Naomi snorted. “I’m the queen of running away. I’ve been on the run nearly eight years.”

“It’s time to go back.”

Naomi shook her head. “I haven’t decided.”

“Of course you have. You wouldn’t have told me about your son if you weren’t already halfway out the door.” She glanced at Dani. “Do you know what we’re talking about?”

Dani nodded. “We’ve been talking.”

Penny glanced between them. “About what?”

“About nothing,” Naomi said firmly. “I’m not going to leave. You need me.”

Penny did. She couldn’t imagine having to go through all this without her friend, but it was wrong to expect Naomi to put her life on hold because she, Penny, had been stupid enough to get her heart broken twice by the same man.

“Of course you’re going,” Penny said briskly. “Like you said, you’ve been the queen of running away for eight years. It’s time to go connect with your family. To find out what you still have there in the way of a life.”

“You might still be married,” Dani said. “Given what you’ve been doing, wouldn’t that be interesting?”

Naomi shook her head. “Sam wouldn’t have waited. Not his style. I’m sure he’s divorced me by now,” she said, but her tone was wistful, as if she wanted to believe in the possibilities.

“See? You have to go,” Penny said quietly.

“I can’t leave you now. Not with everything going on and the baby coming. What about the restaurant? You need me.”

Dani looked at Penny. “I could do that.”

Penny stared at her. “But it’s The Waterfront. Why would you go work for your grandmother again?”

“I wouldn’t be. Your contract allows you to bring in your own crew, doesn’t it?”

“Hello,” Naomi said. “Still in the room. There’s no need to have this conversation right now.”

Penny ignored her. “Three people. I only brought in Naomi and Edouard because the rest of the crew is so great. So adding you wouldn’t be a problem.”

It could work, she thought. She and Dani hadn’t worked together, but they knew each other and she knew Dani put in long hours. She’d survived Burger Heaven nearly five years. She was tough and smart.

“The job is yours if you want it,” Penny told Dani.

Naomi stood. “You’re giving away my job? Just like that? What about the baby? You’re going to need help as you get closer to your due date.”

“I’ll be here,” Dani said. “I can help.”

“There,” Penny said. “You don’t have any more excuses.”

Maybe it wasn’t fair to push her friend, but thinking about Naomi’s life kept her from dwelling on the disaster hers had become. A disaster that would get a whole lot more lonely once Naomi left.

Penny stood and hugged Naomi. “I’ll miss you so much.”

Naomi squeezed her. “I won’t be gone that long. Just a few weeks.”

Or forever, Penny thought. Maybe Naomi would be lucky enough to find there was still a whole life waiting for her back in Ohio.

“Is this a chick thing or can anyone join in?”

Penny turned at the sound of Reid’s voice. “What are you doing here?”

“Hell of a way to greet me,” he said as he walked over and pulled her close. “Dani called me.”

“I thought you’d want him here,” Dani said. “Is that okay?”

Penny was too busy crying to do much more than nod.

Reid wrapped his arms around her. He was tall and strong and she felt as if she could lean on him forever.

“Go ahead and cry,” he said, smoothing her hair and rocking her gently. “My brother is a lying bastard and his days are numbered.”

“You can’t kill him,” Dani said. “Not even for Penny.”

Penny raised her head and sniffed. “I don’t want him dead.”

“Fine. I’ll just teach him a lesson. How’s that?”

Penny shook her head. “No fighting.”

Reid grunted. “I’m sorry,” he said.

That was enough to set her off again. She pressed her face into his chest. “It hurts so much. He doesn’t love me. He’s moving away and so’s Naomi and Dani’s going to help me but nothing is ever going to be the same.”

“I’m here and I love you,” Reid said.

“I know. That’s good.”

She raised her head again and looked at him. “Why couldn’t I fall in love with you?”

He smiled, then kissed her cheek. “Not a good idea, kid. I’m not one of the good guys. You’re better off with Cal or Walker.”

Penny didn’t think so but it didn’t matter. She and Reid could only ever be friends. The heart, ever a contrary organ, had apparently decided she could only love one man. Even if that man was destined to forever be breaking her heart.

CAL DROVE AROUND until sunset, then returned to his house. He wanted to go see Penny, but first he had to figure out what he wanted to say to her. Until then, he had a feeling showing up there would only make things worse.

She was right about him, he thought as he turned onto his street. She always had been. In the past, he’d been okay with that but this time he wanted things to be different. He wanted to be different.

He headed into his driveway and saw two other cars there. As he glanced toward the front door. He saw Reid and Walker on the porch, having what looked like a heated conversation.

“What’s up?” he asked as he climbed out of his car and walked toward them.

Reid glared at him. “You made Penny cry,” he said, his voice a low growl. “Nobody makes Penny cry.”

“So what does that mean?” Cal asked. “You’re here to make me pay?”

“You got that right.”

Cal shrugged, not the least bit worried about taking Reid on in a fight. His brother might be the same size and in great shape, but Cal had some repressed anger on his side.

He turned to Walker. “You gonna help him?”

Walker shrugged. “No. I’m here to make sure you don’t both kill yourselves.”

Cal knew fighting wouldn’t change anything one way or the other, but in that moment, he didn’t care. He wanted to lash out at someone and if his brother was willing to be a target, then that was good enough for Cal.

He stepped onto the lawn and beckoned Reid. “Bring it on, little brother.”

For a second he thought Reid wouldn’t react. Then his brother came flying at him.

Their bodies collided with a force that rattled every bone in his body. They both went down. Cal got to his feet first and was ready to defend himself when Reid came out swinging.

Cal ducked, got in a good punch to the gut that reverberated back to his elbow. Reid clipped his jaw, which made Cal stagger back a step. A couple more hits by each of them and he was rethinking his plan. He hadn’t been in a fight since he was thirteen years old and he’d forgotten how much they hurt.

Still, he liked the raw emotion pouring through him, the need to destroy that blocked out every other thought. He got in a one-two punch before Reid nailed him with a shot that reminded him his brother had a thunderbolt for a right arm.

Lazily, Walker strolled over and stepped between them.

“That’s enough,” he said calmly. “You’re both going to be regretting this in the morning.”

Cal touched his mouth and winced as he felt blood and rapidly swelling flesh.

The anger had drained out of him until he was left only with pain and a sense of loss so strong, it nearly drove him to his knees.

Penny. He’d screwed things up so badly with her, he didn’t know how to recover.

“I’ve lost her,” he said as he sank onto the damp lawn. “Haven’t I?”

Reid sprawled next to him. “You screwed up on a massive scale,” he said. “Naomi wants your balls.”

The part of him in question tightened into his body.

“What does Penny want?” he asked hoarsely.

“To not love you anymore.”

Reid couldn’t have hurt him more if he’d shot him. “She has to love me,” Cal whispered. She was all he had.

Walker crouched in front of him and touched a sore spot just above his eyebrow. “You’re going to need stitches for that.” He looked at Reid. “Your knuckles are pretty bad, too. Let’s go inside and I’ll patch up the two of you.”

Cal looked at Reid. “I’m sorry.”

His brother grimaced. “I’m not the one you should apologize to.”

“I know. But I’m still sorry.”

Reid shrugged, then stood. But instead of turning to the house, he held out his hand to Cal.

“You might be an asshole,” he said as he pulled Cal to his feet. “But you’re still my brother.”

They looked at each other and Cal knew that things were right between them. If only the situation with Penny were so easily resolved.

He took a step and had to hold in a groan. Blood dripped down from the cut beside his eyes and from his lip. His body ached and he felt about a hundred and fifty years old.

But before he could make it to the porch, a car pulled up. Cal glanced over to see if by some miracle, Penny had come to see him. Right now he would be happy if she were simply willing to yell at him some more.

But she wasn’t the one who stepped out of the vehicle. Instead Lindsey opened the passenger’s door and got out.

She was too thin and wearing a scarf over her head, but he’d never seen anything so beautiful in his life.

“Lindsey,” he called. “What are you doing here?”

She glanced from him to Reid and Walker. “Um, is this a bad time?”

“No.”

“But you’re…” She squinted. “Have you been fighting?”

He groaned. Talk about perfect timing. “Yeah, well, my brother and I had something we had to work out.”

Lindsey’s eyes lit up. “Brothers. Both of them?”

He nodded. “This is Reid and this is Walker.”

“Wow,” she breathed. “Uncles.”

His heart stood still. “What did you say?”

She looked at him and her smile quivered a little at the corners. “Um, I said uncles. That’s why I’m here. I just found out you’re my dad.”

CHAPTER TWENTY

LINDSEY WATCHED as Walker set out first aid supplies on the dining room table. Cal wanted to reassure her, but he was busy trying to stop the blood from dripping down the side of his face.

“We’re, ah, not usually like this,” he said, wishing he sounded less lame and slightly more smooth. “Reid and I haven’t had a fight in ten or fifteen years.”

Lindsey’s blue eyes widened slightly. “So why were you fighting now?”

Reid glanced at Cal, then at Cal’s daughter. “Long story.”

She sighed. “That’s what adults always say when they don’t want to tell you the truth.”

“Bummer, huh?” Reid said.

Lindsey smiled, then turned her attention to Walker. “Are you a doctor or something?”

“I used to be a marine and I know basic first aid.”

She looked him up and down. “That’s cool. Were you overseas?”

He nodded without looking up.

There was an awkward silence which Cal broke by saying, “You have an aunt, too. Our youngest sister. Dani—short for Danielle.”

“Big family,” Lindsey said. “It’s just my mom and dad and me. We’re—” She paused and pressed her lips together. “Can I still call them that? Are you going to get mad?”

“What? Of course not. Lindsey, Tracy and Tom are your parents.”

“Yeah,” Reid said. “He’s just some guy who donated—What?” he asked as Walker cuffed him on the arm. “What’d I say?”

“We have a young lady present,” Walker reminded him. “Not one of your women.”

Lindsey looked instantly intrigued. “You have women? A lot of them? Like more than one girlfriend at a time? Are you—” Her mouth dropped open. “Ohmygod! You’re Reid Buchanan. You’re a baseball pitcher.”

“Used to be,” Reid said curtly. “Now I run a bar.”

“Okay, but you’re famous.” She turned to Cal. “He’s your brother?”

“Uh-huh. And your uncle.”

“My uncle is Reid Buchanan? My friends are going to die when I tell them.”

Reid looked more uncomfortable than excited. Cal changed the subject by asking, “How did you find out about me?”

“What? Oh, my mom told me. We were talking about the transplant and how well it went and I was really surprised because there can be problems with blood from an unrelated donor. And when I said that she got this really weird look on her face.”

Walker motioned for Cal to take a seat by the dining room table. Cal settled down, then removed the washcloth from his temple. Instantly blood began to trickle down his face.

“Are you sure you’re not going to need stitches?” Lindsey asked.

“That’s what I’m thinking,” Walker said.

“I’ll be fine. Try the bandage,” Cal told him. “Go on, Lindsey.”

“Oh. Okay. Well, she, um, got this weird look on her face and then she just blurted it all out. She told me who you were and that you’d always wanted to be a part of my life, but you didn’t want to push and that you were my biological dad and stuff. So I wanted to come see you.”

Cal groaned. “Did we just walk in the house and leave your mom parked out there?”

Lindsey laughed. “No. She went to get coffee. I’m going to call her when it’s time to come get me.”

Walker tugged on his skin. Cal did his best not to react to the pain. The bandages were put in place, but Walker didn’t look pleased. “These aren’t going to hold.”

Lindsey moved close and wrinkled her nose. “He’s right. You really need to go to the hospital.”

“In a minute.” He smiled at her. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Me, too. I thought, you know, maybe we could be friends.”

“I’d like that.”

She glanced at Reid and Walker. “It’s nice to have more family. I’ve always wanted that. Are any of you guys married?”

Walker snorted. “Reid settle down with one woman? Not likely. I’ve been out of the country and Cal…You’re going to have to talk to him about that.”

Lindsey glanced at him expectantly.

Cal shook his head. “Another long story,” he said, knowing there was no way he could explain about Penny.

“That’s too bad. I’d like some cousins or even half brothers and sisters. I wouldn’t even mind babysitting. Well, at least until I go to college. Then I’ll be really busy.”

Impulsively, Cal grabbed Lindsey’s hand. “Thanks for coming to see me. I know you’re all grown up and have a life, but maybe we could get together for lunch sometime.”

She ducked her head, but squeezed his fingers. “That would be nice. I can give you my cell number. We can talk and stuff. And e-mail, too.” She grinned. “I love e-mail.”

“Me, too.”

Reid pulled the towel away from the cut on his jaw and showed it to Walker. Just then a fresh gush of blood dripped down the front of his shirt.

“That’s it,” Lindsey said forcefully. “I can see I’m going to have to take charge here. You’re both going to the emergency room. You need stitches. There’s no discussion about this. I just went through chemo and a bone marrow transplant. I think you tough guys can survive a couple of stitches.”

“WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?” Dani asked as she sat next to Cal in the emergency room. “You’re too old to be fighting each other.”

“We weren’t thinking,” Cal told her. “That’s how fights usually start. No one plans them. Well, Reid kind of planned this one.”

“But you’re mature adults. At least you were. And on the front lawn.”

He winced. “How’d you hear that?”

“I had a fascinating talk with your daughter before she had to leave. This was while you were being stitched up.” Her stern expression softened. “She’s great.”

“I know.” He still couldn’t believe she knew about him and wanted them to be friends.

“And her first impression of her father is he and his brother fighting. I should slap you myself.”

“Please don’t.”

“Are you in pain?” Dani asked.

“Yes.”

“Good. I hope Reid is suffering. Maybe that will teach you two.” She studied the bandages on his face. “What were you fighting about?”

“I made Penny cry.”

Dani’s eyes narrowed. “You sure did.”

“I don’t need you taking me on, too,” he told her. “I feel like shit.”

She socked his arm anyway, which, fortunately, was one of the only spots that didn’t hurt. “Why didn’t you tell her you were moving back east? What kind of moron has a relationship with a woman and doesn’t mention that at least once?”

“At first I didn’t think it mattered. Then I didn’t think about leaving at all. Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve been thinking that maybe I wouldn’t now.”

“Maybe?” She socked him again.

“I won’t go,” he said as he rubbed his arm. “I know I should have told her. I never meant to hurt her.”

“Too bad. If you had meant to, you could be happy you’d accomplished your goal. As it is, her heart is broken and you’re an ass.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“I mean it, Cal. You’re better than this. You don’t play with other people’s feelings. You’ve never been mean.”

He went from feeling like slime to feeling like slime was only something he could aspire to.

“What do you want me to say?” he asked.

“To me? Nothing. I’m not the problem.”

He knew that. But Penny had been so angry—not without cause, he admitted. “I should have told her,” he muttered. “I should have made it clear.”

“Not many people get a second chance,” Dani told him.

“I know. I lost Penny before. I’m not going to lose her again.” He couldn’t. She’d come to matter too much to him.

Three months ago, he’d been eager to leave Seattle, to try something new, but now…

“Is she all right?” he asked. “She was upset, and with the baby and all.”

“Upset? You call that upset?”

His insides clenched as he swore. “I should let Reid beat on me some more.”

“That will only help you. There’s someone more important to worry about.”

“How much have I blown it?” he asked.

“A lot, but Penny isn’t unreasonable. Lucky for you, she’s especially vulnerable right now. Naomi’s leaving.”

“What? Leaving for where?”

“Ohio. But that’s not important. What are you going to do?”

Beg and crawl, he thought. Hope the words came to him and if they didn’t, he was going to camp out on her doorstep until she finally agreed they belonged together.

He stood. Every muscle in his body complained loudly. “I’m too old for this crap,” he muttered. “Tell Reid and Walker I went to see Penny.”

Dani glanced at her watch. “She’ll be there the rest of the night.”

“Good. Don’t let her know I’m coming. I have another stop to make first, and I don’t know how long it’s going to take me.”

Dani glared at him. “You’re not going directly there?”

“No, and get off of me. I know what I’m doing.”

“Oh, that’s clear. We should all allow you to run our lives. You’re doing such a great job of your own.”

He bent down and kissed Dani’s cheek. “I love you, too.”

THIRTY MINUTES LATER Cal walked into Gloria’s office. His grandmother took one look at him and jumped out of her chair.

“What on earth happened?” she asked. “My God, you have stitches and a black eye. Is your lip cut?”

He waved away her questions. “Not important,” he said. “That’s not what I’m here about.”

“All right.” Gloria sank back in her chair. “Then why are you here? Not that I’m not delighted to see my oldest grandson.”

She even smiled, he thought in amazement. As if nothing had happened. As if she hadn’t tried to destroy Penny and any chance he had with her.

“You crossed the line,” he said, doing his best to stay calm. Gloria might be the devil, but she was still old and female. He had to respect that, if not her.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she said easily.

“Bullshit. You know exactly what’s going on and don’t pretend you don’t.”

“Callister, I will not allow you to speak to me that way.”

He leaned forward and braced his hands on her desk. “I don’t give a good goddamn what you will or will not allow. You’ve had more chances than you’ve deserved and I’m through with you. You screwed up, Gloria. You messed with Penny and I won’t have anyone doing that.”

She sniffed. “Is this all about that woman? She left you, Callister, a fact I remember, even if you don’t.”

“This is about me protecting the ones I love. I’m through with you.” He straightened.

She stared at him. “What are you talking about? You can’t be through with me. I’m your grandmother. Your family.”

“We might be related by blood, but you’re not family. You don’t know how to be. You don’t know how to be anything other than an emotional vampire. You take and you take. You always have to be in control.” He shook his head. “We’re not kids anymore. You can’t make us do anything. You have officially meddled and per the contract I’m out of The Waterfront.”

She stood. “You can’t leave. The restaurant needs you.”

As always, business came first, he thought grimly. “The restaurant will be fine. Randy will take over and you’ll still have Penny as the chef. But don’t screw with her too much. I put an escape clause in her contract, too. If you start micromanaging, not only does she get to walk, but she takes all her recipes with her. You wouldn’t want that.”

“How dare you?”

“I dare because you don’t give me a choice. I wanted to care about you, Gloria. But you make it impossible. You want to own us and we weren’t about to let that happen. One by one, you’ve driven off your grandchildren until only Dani was left. But you refused to accept her and now she’s gone as well.”

“You can’t leave,” Gloria insisted. “This is who you are. This is your heritage.”

“This is not who I am. This is never who I’ve been.” He looked at her for a long time. “I thought I’d hate you, but I don’t. I feel sorry for you.”

He walked to the door.

“I’ll bring you back,” she called after him. “All of you.”

“Not in this lifetime,” he said and left.

PENNY LAY CURLED UP on the sofa, wishing she could find a way to put the pain in a box. If only she didn’t have to deal with it right now. In a few weeks or months, she could take it out and feel it for a while, then put it away until she was strong again.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t an option. So all she could do was endure the pain that filled her and wait for the horror to ease just enough for her to function.

She ached—every part of her felt as if she’d been run over by a car. Even her bones were sore. Every time she figured she’d finally cried herself out, new tears spilled down her cheeks. At some point would she simply run out of bodily fluids? Dani would come home and find her flat, cracked body on the floor.

She gave a half laugh, half sob and wondered if she was slipping over to the dark side.

Someone knocked on her front door. It could be anyone, she thought. Reid, even Walker. Dani had a key and Naomi was gone.

Penny struggled to her feet. Bad enough that Cal had turned out to be a major candidate for jerk of the month, but Naomi had left.

“Because I insisted,” she reminded herself aloud. Keeping Naomi in Seattle to watch Penny suffer had seemed selfish and wrong. So she’d urged her friend to start the drive back to Ohio and had made her promise to check in when she got there.

She pulled open the door and stared. Cal stood in front of her, but not the same man she’d seen earlier that afternoon. He had a black eye, a bandage by his temple and a split lip.

“What happened to you?” she asked, not able to believe his injuries.

“Nothing important.” He stepped past her into the house, then closed the door behind him. “Penny, I’m sorry. I can’t tell you how sorry I am. I don’t know the words. I never meant to hurt you or not tell you about moving. I never thought about it. With everything else going on, the move wasn’t important.”

She started to speak, to protest that it was very important, but he touched his finger to her lips.

“Please,” he said. “Hear me out. I know the information itself is important, but I never actually thought about leaving. I didn’t get involved with you thinking that I was going to cut and run. I didn’t think much at all. You were there and so incredible and I found myself falling for you. Then Lindsey got sick and there was that, and the restaurant and you again. I’ll accept that I was stupid and thoughtless, but I never, ever kept the information from you as a way to trick you.”

Part of her thought he actually spoke the truth, but he’d hurt her so much she wasn’t sure that mattered.

“Okay,” she said quietly. “Thanks for telling me.”

He moved closer and touched her chin. “I’m not done. Not even close. You were right, what you said about me. That I never risked my heart. I was never willing to go all out because that meant there was a risk of losing everything. I couldn’t face that. I loved Lindsey and I felt guilty. It was a bad combination. I wanted our marriage to work, but I wasn’t willing to be there. I let you down again and again. Holding back, about the baby.”

He swallowed. “I swear, Penny, I was never glad you lost the baby. It hurt, but I was afraid to admit that. I was afraid it would mean I didn’t love Lindsey enough. You were right. I let you go. I should have come after you. I should have begged.”

“The news flash doesn’t change anything,” she told him. No way was he going to sweet-talk her into believing him when he’d already broken her heart twice. Although it was nice of him to finally admit he’d been wrong in letting her go.

“I get it,” he told her. “I get that I can love you and Lindsey and your baby and my brothers and Dani. I don’t have to just love one person. I don’t have to pick. I want to be the kind of man who loves with every fiber of his being.” He took her hand in his and held on, even when she tried to pull away. “I know we could be great together, Penny, and I think you know it, too. We’re good for each other. I always thought the best families were born and I was just screwed on that front. But it’s not true. Families can be created consciously. It’s not about bonds of blood, but bonds of the heart. I want to build a family with you.”

Her breath caught. “What are you saying?”

“That I love you. I want us to be a family together. You, me, the baby, Lindsey, my brothers, Dani. All of us.” He shrugged, then said, “Not Gloria.”

“Good. She wouldn’t exactly be welcome in my world right now.”

“Please,” he said softly, staring into her eyes. “Give me a chance. I’m willing to work to prove myself. I’m willing to pay. Whatever it takes to make you believe I love you and that I’m not going anywhere.” He kissed her fingers and smiled. “Except I quit my job earlier. Which you can do, if you want. I wrote an escape clause into your contract with the restaurant.”

There was too much information, she thought as the room began to spin.

“I need to sit down,” she said.

He led her over to the sofa.

She drew in deep, steady breaths and tried to clear her head. This wasn’t happening, she thought. He couldn’t be saying all those things to her. Love her?

Before she could ask him to clarify, he went down on one knee. Just like that. In her living room.

“Penny Jackson, you are the brightest light in my life,” Cal said. “I love you and need you with a desperation that defies words. Give me another chance. Marry me again.”

She felt her mouth drop open.

“I don’t expect you to answer me right now,” he told her. “I suspect I’ll have to do some crawling first, but that’s okay. I’m not afraid of proving myself to you. In fact, I look forward to it. I want you to know without a doubt how much you mean to me.”

She didn’t know what to say.

“I can keep saying it,” he told her with a smile. “I love you. Remember, before when we were married, you complained that I never said it enough? That’s because I was holding back. I was afraid of opening up to you. Not anymore. I’m never holding back. You’re my world and I love you.”

The pain faded as if it had never been. Penny stared into his eyes and saw down to his soul. The truth was there—shining so bright it nearly blinded her.

“Say yes,” he pleaded. “Marry me and have babies with me. You know we’re great together.”

She felt tears fill her eyes, but these had nothing to do with being alone and everything to do with finally finding her heart’s desire.

“I’ll still want to open my own place,” she said.

“Of course you will. You’re a great chef. But you’re more than that. You’re the woman I love.”

She threw herself at him and let the tears escape. “Yes,” she whispered. “Always yes. I never stopped loving you.”

He held her tight. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”

She sniffed and straightened. “I could say the same about you.”

He touched her cheeks. “Hormones?”

She nodded. “And I’m happy.”

“Good. So you want to get married?”

She laughed. “I do.”

Turn the page for a look at

IRRESISTIBLE
the next Buchanan family novel
coming from HQN Books

July 2006

CHAPTER ONE

THE GREAT UNWELCOME TRUTH IS that there are times when a woman needs a man…or at the very least, an unnatural level of upper body strength. Unfortunately for Elissa Towers, this was one of those times.

“Something tells me you won’t be impressed by my to-do list, or the fact that Zoe has a birthday party at noon. Birthday parties are very important for the five-year-old set. I don’t want her to miss this one,” Elissa muttered as she leaned all of her weight into the lug wrench.

She had been lamenting the extra ten pounds she carried for at least three years. One would think they would come in handy now, say for leverage. But one would be wrong.

“Move!” she yelled at the lug nut on her very flat tire. Nothing. Not even a whisper of budging.

She dropped the lug wrench onto the damp driveway and swore.

This was completely her fault. The last time she’d noticed the tire getting low, she’d driven to Randy’s Brake and Tire center where Randy himself had patched the nail hole. She’d sat in his surprisingly tidy waiting room indulging herself in gossip magazines—a rare treat in her world—not even giving a thought to the fact that he was using some stupid machine to tighten the lug nuts. She always asked him to tighten by hand, so she could take off the flat herself.

“Need some help?”

The question came from nowhere and startled her so much, she sat right in a puddle. She felt the wet seeping through her jeans and panties. Great. Now when she stood up, she would look as if she’d wet herself. Why couldn’t her Saturday start with an unexpected tax refund and an anonymous chocolate delivery?

She glanced at the man now standing next to her. She hadn’t heard stealth guy approach, but as she looked up and up further still, until their eyes met, she recognized her semirecent new upstairs neighbor. He was a few years older than her, tanned, good-looking and at a first casual glance, physically perfect. Not exactly someone who tended to rent an apartment in her slightly shabby neighborhood.

She scrambled to her feet and brushed off her butt, groaning as she felt the wet spot.

“Hi,” she said, smiling as she carefully took a step back. “You’re, um…”

Damn. Mrs. Ford, her other neighbor, had told her the guy’s name. Also that he had recently left the military, kept to himself and apparently had no job. It wasn’t a combination that made Elissa comfy.

“Walker Buchanan. I live upstairs.”

Alone. No visitors and he didn’t go out much. Oh, yeah. Good times. Still, she’d been raised to be polite, so she smiled and said, “Hi. I’m Elissa Towers.”

Under any other circumstances, she would have found another way out of her dilemma, but there was no way she could loosen the lug nuts herself and she couldn’t just sit here praying to the tire gods.

She pointed. “If you could be burly for a second, that would be fabulous.”

“Burly?” The corner of his mouth twitched.

“You’re a guy, this is a guy thing. It’s a natural fit.”

He folded his impressive arms over a rather impressive chest. “What happened to women wanting to be independent and equal in the world?”

Hmm, so there was a brain behind those dark eyes and maybe the potential for humor. That was good. Neighbors of serial killers always said the guy was so nice. Elissa wasn’t sure Walker qualified as nice, which was, in a twisted way, a bit of a relief.

“We should have worked on our upper body strength first. Besides, you offered.”

“Yes, I did.”

He picked up the wrench, squatted down and in one quick movement that left her feeling both inadequate and bitter, loosened the first nut. The other three followed just as fast.

“Thanks,” she said with a smile. “I’ll take it from here.”

“I’m already involved,” he told her. “I can put on the spare in a couple of seconds.”

Or so he thought. “Yes, well, that’s a funny story,” she said. “I don’t have a spare. It’s big and bulky and really weighs down the car.”

He straightened. “You need a spare.”

His statement of the obvious irritated her. “Thanks for the advice, but as I don’t have one, it’s not very helpful.”

“So what do you do now?”

“I say thank you.” She glanced pointedly at the stairs leading to his apartment. When he didn’t move, she added, “I don’t want to keep you.”

His gaze dipped from her face to the large nylon bag on wheels, lying next to her on the driveway. His mouth tightened in disapproval.

“There is no way you’re going to carry that tire somewhere yourself,” he said flatly.

Definitely not nice, she thought. “I don’t carry, I drag. I’ve done it before. The tire place I go to is less than a mile from here. It’s easy. Good exercise, even. So thank you for your help and have a nice day.”

She reached for the tire in question. He stepped between her and it.

“I’ll take it,” he told her.

“No, thank you. I’m fine.”

He topped her by at least seven or eight inches and he had to outweigh her by a good sixty pounds…every ounce of them muscle. As he narrowed his gaze and glared at her, she had the feeling he was trying to intimidate her. He was doing a good job of it, too, but she couldn’t let him know that. She was tough. She was determined. She was…

“Mommy, can I have toast?”

Why was life always about timing?

She turned to her daughter standing at the entrance to their apartment. “Sure, Zoe. But let me help. I’ll be right in.”

Zoe smiled. “Okay, Mommy.” The screen door slammed shut.

Elissa glanced back at Walker, only to find that stealth guy had used her moment of inattention to pick up her tire and walk toward his very expensive, very out-of-place-for-this-neighborhood SUV.

“You can’t take that tire,” she said as she hurried after him. “It’s mine.”

“I’m not stealing it,” he said in a bored tone. “I’m taking it to be fixed. Where do you usually go?”

“I’m not going to tell you.” Ha! That should stop him.

“Fine. I’ll go where I want.” He tossed the tire into the SUV and slammed the back shut.

“Wait! Stop.” When, exactly, had she lost control?

He turned to her. “Are you really worried I’m going to disappear with your tire?”

“No. Of course not. It’s just…I don’t…”

He waited impatiently.

“I don’t know you,” she snapped. “I keep to myself. I don’t want to owe you.”

He surprised her by nodding. “I can respect that. Where do you want me to take the tire?”

So he wasn’t giving up. “Randy’s Brake and Tire Center.” She gave him directions. “But you have to wait a second. I need to get a pair of earrings.”

“For Randy?” He raised his eyebrows.

“For Randy’s sister. It’s her birthday.” She drew in a breath, hating to explain. “It’s how I pay for the work.”

She waited for the judgment, or at the very least, a smart-ass comment. Instead Walker shrugged.

“Go get them.”

THE TRIP TO Randy’s Brake and Tire Center took three minutes and when Walker parked, he found a short, beer-bellied older man waiting for him.

Randy himself, Walker would guess as he opened the car door.

“You got Elissa’s tire?” the man asked.

“In back.”

Randy eyed Walker’s BMW X5. “Bet you take that to the dealer,” he said.

“I haven’t had to yet, but I will.”

“Nice wheels.” Randy walked around to the rear of the SUV and opened the back. When he saw the tire in question, he groaned. “What is with Elissa? They’re doing construction across from where she works. I swear, she finds every loose nail hanging around on the road. Always in this tire, too. There’s more patch on it than rubber.”

More patch than tread, Walker thought as he stared at the worn tire. “She should replace it.”

Randy looked at him. “You think? Thing is, you can’t get blood from a rock. Hey, times are tight with everyone, right? Got my earrings?”

Walker took the small envelope out of his shirt pocket and handed it over. Randy looked inside and whistled. “Very nice. Janice is going to love them. Okay, give me ten minutes and I’ll have this ready to go.”

Walker hadn’t wanted to help his neighbor in the first place. He’d taken a short-term lease on the apartment to give himself time to figure out what to do with the rest of his life in quiet and solitude. He didn’t know anyone in the neighborhood and he didn’t want anyone to know him.

Except for a brief but surprisingly effective interrogation from the old lady living downstairs, he’d kept to himself for nearly six weeks. Until he’d seen Elissa struggling with the lug nuts.

He’d wanted to ignore her. That had been his plan. But he couldn’t—which was a character flaw he needed to work on. Now, faced with a crappy tire that was likely to blow the second she hit sixty on the 405 freeway, he found himself unable to walk away again.

“Give me a new one,” he muttered.

Randy raised his bushy eyebrows. “You’re buying Elissa a tire?”

Walker nodded. Best case scenario, he would replace both rear tires. But he only had the one wheel with him.

The older man puffed out his chest. “How, exactly, do you know Elissa and Zoe?”

Zoe? Walker blanked for a second, then remembered the kid he’d seen around. Elissa’s daughter.

He owed this guy nothing in the way of explanations. Still, he found himself saying, “I live upstairs.”

Randy narrowed his gaze. “Elissa’s good people. Don’t you go messing with her.”

Walker knew that even after an all-night bender, he could take the old guy and have enough left over to run a four-minute mile. Randy’s posturing was almost funny—except it was sincere. He cared about Elissa.

“I’m just doing her a favor,” Walker said easily. “We’re neighbors, nothing more.”

“Okay, then. Because Elissa’s been through a lot and she doesn’t deserve to be messed with.”

“I agree.”

Walker had no idea what they were talking about, but anything to move the conversation along. Randy picked up the flat and carried it toward the garage.

“I’ve got a couple of good tires that’ll be a whole lot safer than this one. Because it’s for Elissa, I’ll give you a good deal.”

“I appreciate it.”

Randy glanced at him. “I’ll even throw a little dirt on it so maybe she won’t notice what you did.”

“YOU’RE POUNDING, dear,” Mrs. Ford said calmly as she sipped coffee. “It’s not good for the crust.”

Elissa slapped the rolling pin onto the dough and knew her neighbor was right. “I can’t help it. I’m annoyed. Does he really think I’m so stupid I won’t notice he replaced my old tire with a new one? Is it a guy thing? Do all men think women are stupid about tires? Is it specific? Or does he just think I’m stupid?”

“I’m sure he thought he was helping.”

“Who is he to help me? I don’t know him from a rock. He’s lived here, what, a month? We’ve never even spoken. Now suddenly he’s buying me tires? I don’t like it.”

“I think it’s romantic.”

Elissa did her best not to roll her eyes. She loved the old woman but jeez, Mrs. Ford would think growing grass was romantic.

“He took control. He made decisions without speaking to me. God knows what he’s going to expect for it.” Whatever he was expecting, he wasn’t going to get it, Elissa told herself.

Mrs. Ford shook her head. “It’s not like that, Elissa. Walker is a very nice man. An ex-marine. He saw you were in need and helped out.”

That’s what got Elissa most of all. The “being in need” part. Just once she’d like to put away a little extra cash for a rainy day or flat tire.

“I don’t like owing him.”

“Or anybody. You’re very independent. But he’s a man, dear. Men like to do things for women.”

Mrs. Ford was nearly ninety, tiny and the kind of woman who still used lace-edged handkerchiefs. She’d been born in a time when men took care of life’s hardships and the most important job for a woman was to cook well and look pretty while doing it. The fact that living like that drove many women to alcohol or madness was just an unhappy by-product and not anything to be discussed in polite society.

“I called Randy,” Elissa said as she slid the pie crust into the pan and pressed it into place. “He told me the tire cost forty dollars, but he’d lie in a heartbeat if he thought it would protect me, so I’m thinking it had to be closer to fifty.”

She had exactly sixty-two dollars in her wallet and she needed most of them for grocery shopping that afternoon. Her checking account balance hovered right around zero, but she got paid in two days, so that was something.

“If I could afford a new tire, I would have bought it myself,” she muttered.

“It’s more practical than flowers,” Mrs. Ford offered. “Or chocolates.”

Elissa smiled. “Trust me—Walker isn’t courting me.”

“You don’t know that.”

She was fairly confident. He’d helped because…because…She frowned. She didn’t know why he’d come to her aid. Probably because she looked pathetic as she wrestled with uncooperative lug nuts.

She rolled out the second crust. Flats of blueberries had been ridiculously cheap at the Yakima Fruit Stand. She’d pulled in after dropping Zoe off at her party. She had just enough time to make three pie crusts before she had to be back to pick up her daughter.

“I’ll finish up the pies after I come back from the grocery store,” Elissa said, more to herself than her neighbor. “Maybe if I take him one…”

Mrs. Ford smiled. “An excellent idea. Imagine what he’ll think when he gets a taste of your cooking.”

Elissa groaned. “You’re matchmaking, aren’t you?”

“A woman of your age all alone? It’s just not natural.”

“I like being a freak. It keeps me grounded.”

SUSAN MALLERY

Irresistible

Contents

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER TEN

CHAPTER ELEVEN

CHAPTER TWELVE

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

CHAPTER NINETEEN

CHAPTER TWENTY

One of the most frequent questions I’m asked is how I get my ideas for my books. In truth, they come from everywhere. This particular story was born while I was driving to the grocery store, listening to National Public Radio.

The news had come on and the reporter mentioned how many soldiers had died the previous day in Iraq. Their names were withheld, pending notification of their immediate families.

I remember pulling over, suddenly wondering what happened if the soldier in question had no family. Who would be notified and who would mourn?

In that moment Walker Buchanan was created, and through him, Ben. A hardened solider and a young man with the heart of a soldier. A young man with no family.

This book is dedicated to those who have given the greatest gift to their country. May you live on forever in the hearts of those who have loved you.

CHAPTER ONE

THE GREAT UNWELCOME truth is that there are times when a woman needs a man…or at the very least, an unnatural level of upper body strength. Unfortunately for Elissa Towers, this was one of those times.

“Something tells me you won’t be impressed by my to-do list, or the fact that Zoe has a birthday party at noon. Birthday parties are very important for the five-year-old set. I don’t want her to miss this one,” Elissa muttered as she leaned all of her weight into the lug wrench.

She’d been lamenting the extra ten pounds she carried for at least three years. One would think they’d come in handy now, say for leverage. But one would be wrong.

“Move!” she yelled at the lug nut on her very flat tire. Nothing. Not even a whisper of budging.

She dropped the lug wrench onto the damp driveway and swore.

This was completely her fault. The last time she’d noticed the tire getting low, she’d driven to Randy’s Brake and Tire Center, where Randy himself had patched the nail hole. She’d sat in his surprisingly tidy waiting room indulging herself in gossip magazines—a rare treat in her world—not even giving a thought to the fact that he was using some stupid machine to tighten the lug nuts. She always asked him to tighten by hand, so she could take off the flat herself.

“Need some help?”

The question came from nowhere and startled her so much, she wobbled and sat down right in a puddle. She felt the wet seeping through her jeans and panties. Great. Now when she stood up, she would look as if she’d wet herself. Why couldn’t her Saturday start with an unexpected tax refund and an anonymous chocolate delivery?

She glanced at the man now standing next to her. She hadn’t heard stealth guy approach, but as she looked up and up farther still, until their eyes met, she recognized her semirecent upstairs neighbor. He was a few years older than her, tanned, good-looking and at a casual glance, physically perfect. Not exactly the type who tended to rent an apartment in her slightly shabby neighborhood.

She scrambled to her feet and brushed off her butt, groaning as she felt the wet spot.

“Hi,” she said, smiling as she carefully took a step back. “You’re, um…”

Damn. Mrs. Ford, her other neighbor, had told her the guy’s name. Also that he had recently left the military, kept to himself and apparently had no job. It wasn’t a combination that made Elissa comfy.

“Walker Buchanan. I live upstairs.”

Alone. No visitors and he didn’t go out much. Oh, yeah. Good times. Still, she’d been raised to be polite, so she smiled and said, “Hi. I’m Elissa Towers.”

Under any other circumstances, she would have found another way out of her dilemma, but there was no way she could loosen the lug nuts herself and she couldn’t just sit here praying to the tire gods.

She pointed. “If you could be burly for a second, that would be fabulous.”

“Burly?” The corner of his mouth twitched.

“You’re a guy, this is a guy thing. It’s a natural fit.”

He folded his impressive arms over a rather impressive chest. “What happened to women wanting to be independent and equal in the world?”

Hmm, so there was a brain behind those dark eyes and maybe the potential for humor. That was good. Neighbors of serial killers always said the guy was so nice. Elissa wasn’t sure Walker qualified as nice, which was, in a twisted way, a bit of a relief.

“We should have worked on our upper body strength first. Besides, you offered.”

“Yes, I did.”

He picked up the wrench, squatted down and in one quick movement that left her feeling both inadequate and bitter, loosened the first nut. The other three followed just as fast.

“Thanks,” she said with a smile. “I’ll take it from here.”

“I’m already involved,” he told her. “I can put on the spare in a couple of seconds.”

Or so he thought. “Yes, well, that’s a funny story,” she said. “I don’t have a spare. It’s big and bulky and really weighs down the car.”

He straightened. “You need a spare.”

His statement of the obvious irritated her. “Thanks for the advice, but as I don’t have one, it’s not very helpful.”

“So what do you do now?”

“I say thank you.” She glanced pointedly at the stairs leading to his apartment. When he didn’t move, she added, “I don’t want to keep you.”

His gaze dipped from her face to the large nylon bag on wheels, lying next to her on the driveway. His mouth tightened in disapproval.

“There is no way you’re going to carry that tire somewhere yourself,” he said flatly.

Definitely not nice, she thought. “I don’t carry, I drag. I’ve done it before. The tire place I go to is less than a mile from here. I walk there, Randy patches it for me and I walk back. It’s easy. Good exercise, even. So thank you for your help and have a nice day.”

She reached for the tire in question. He stepped between her and it.

“I’ll take it,” he told her.

“No, thank you. I’m fine.”

He topped her by at least seven or eight inches and he had to outweigh her by a good sixty pounds…every ounce of them muscle. As he narrowed his gaze and glared at her, she had the feeling he was trying to intimidate her. He was doing a good job of it, too, but she couldn’t let him know that. She was tough. She was determined. She was…

“Mommy, can I have toast?”

Why was life always about timing?

She turned to her daughter standing at the entrance to their apartment. “Sure, Zoe. But let me help. I’ll be right in.”

Zoe smiled. “Okay, Mommy.” The screen door slammed shut.

Elissa glanced back at Walker, only to find that stealth guy had used her moment of inattention to pick up her tire and walk toward his very expensive, very out-of-place-for-this-neighborhood SUV.

“You can’t take that tire,” she said as she hurried after him. “It’s mine.”

“I’m not stealing it,” he said in a bored tone. “I’m taking it to be fixed. Where do you usually go?”

“I’m not going to tell you.” Ha! That should stop him.

“Fine. I’ll go where I want.” He tossed the tire into the SUV and slammed the back shut.

“Wait! Stop.” When, exactly, had she lost control?

He turned to her. “Are you really worried I’m going to disappear with your tire?”

“No. Of course not. It’s just…I don’t…”

He waited patiently.

“I don’t know you,” she snapped. “I keep to myself. I don’t want to owe you.”

He surprised her by nodding. “I can respect that. Where do you want me to take the tire?”

So he wasn’t giving up. “Randy’s Brake and Tire Center.” She gave him directions. “But you have to wait a second. I need to get a pair of earrings.”

“For Randy?” He raised his eyebrows.

“For Randy’s sister. It’s her birthday.” She drew in a breath, hating to explain. “It’s how I pay for the work.”

She waited for the judgment, or at the very least, a smart-ass comment. Instead Walker shrugged.

“Go get them.”

THE TRIP TO RANDY’S Brake and Tire Center took three minutes and when Walker parked, he found a short, beer-bellied older man waiting for him.

Randy himself, Walker would guess as he opened the car door.

“You got Elissa’s tire?” the man asked.

“In back.”

Randy eyed Walker’s BMW X5. “Bet you take that to the dealer,” he said.

“I haven’t had to yet, but I will.”

“Nice wheels.” Randy walked around to the rear of the SUV and opened the back. When he saw the tire in question, he groaned. “What is it with Elissa? They’re doing construction across from where she works. I swear, she finds every loose nail hanging around on the road. Always in this tire, too. There’s more patch on it than rubber.”

More patch than tread, Walker thought as he stared at the worn tire. “She should replace it.”

Randy looked at him. “You think? Thing is, you can’t get blood from a rock. Hey, times are tight with everyone, right? Got my earrings?”

Walker took the small envelope out of his shirt pocket and handed it over. Randy looked inside and whistled. “Very nice. Janice is gonna love them. Okay, give me ten minutes and I’ll have this ready to go.”

Walker hadn’t wanted to help his neighbor in the first place. He’d taken a short-term lease on the apartment to give himself time to figure out what to do with the rest of his life in quiet and solitude. He didn’t know anyone in the neighborhood and he didn’t want anyone to know him.

Except for a brief but surprisingly effective interrogation from the old lady living downstairs, he’d kept to himself for nearly six weeks. Until he’d seen Elissa struggling with the lug nuts.

He’d wanted to ignore her. That had been his plan. But he couldn’t—which was a character flaw he needed to work on. Now, faced with a crappy tire that was likely to blow the second she hit sixty on the 405, he found himself unable to walk away again.

“Give me a new one,” he muttered.

Randy raised his bushy eyebrows. “You’re buying Elissa a tire?”

Walker nodded. Best-case scenario, he would replace both rear tires. But he only had the one wheel with him.

The older man puffed out his chest. “How, exactly, do you know Elissa and Zoe?”

Zoe? Walker blanked for a second, then remembered the kid he’d seen around. Elissa’s daughter.

He owed this guy nothing in the way of explanations. Still, he found himself saying, “I live upstairs.”

Randy narrowed his gaze. “Elissa’s a friend of mine. Don’t you go messing with her.”

Walker knew that even after an all-night bender, he could take the old guy and have enough left over to run a four-minute mile. Randy’s posturing would have been almost funny—except it was sincere. He cared about Elissa.

“I’m just doing her a favor,” Walker said easily. “We’re neighbors, nothing more.”

“Okay, then. Because Elissa’s been through a lot and she doesn’t deserve to be messed with.”

“I agree.”

Walker had no idea what they were talking about, but anything to move the conversation along. Randy picked up the flat and carried it toward the garage.

“I’ve got a couple of good tires that’ll be a whole lot safer than this one. Because it’s for Elissa, I’ll give you a good deal.”

“I appreciate it.”

Randy glanced at him. “I’ll even throw a little dirt on it so maybe she won’t notice what you did.”

Walker remembered her defensiveness about not having a spare. “Probably a good idea,” he told the other man.

“YOU’RE POUNDING, DEAR,” Mrs. Ford said calmly as she sipped coffee. “It’s not good for the crust.”

Elissa slapped the rolling pin onto the dough and knew her neighbor was right. “I can’t help it. I’m annoyed. Does he really think I’m so stupid I wouldn’t notice he replaced my old tire with a new one? Is it a guy thing? Do all men think women are stupid about tires? Is it specific? Does he just think I’m stupid?”

“I’m sure he thought he was helping.”

“Who is he to help me? I don’t know him from a rock. He’s lived here, what, a month? We’ve never even spoken. Now suddenly he’s buying me tires? I don’t like it.”

“I think it’s romantic.”

Elissa did her best not to roll her eyes. She loved the old woman but jeez, Mrs. Ford would think grass growing was romantic.

“He took control. He made decisions without speaking to me. God knows what he’s going to expect for it.” Whatever he was expecting, he wasn’t going to get it, Elissa told herself.

Mrs. Ford shook her head. “It’s not like that, Elissa. Walker is a very nice man. An ex-Marine. He saw you were in need and helped out.”

That’s what got Elissa most of all. The “being in need” part. Just once she’d like a little extra put by for a rainy day or a flat tire.

“I don’t like owing him.”

“Or anybody. You’re very independent. But he’s a man, dear. Men like to do things for women.”

Mrs. Ford was nearly ninety, tiny and the kind of woman who still used lace-edged handkerchiefs. She’d been born in a time when men took care of life’s hardships and the most important job for a woman was to cook well and look pretty while doing it. The fact that living like that drove many women to alcohol or madness was just an unhappy by-product not to be discussed in polite society.

“I called Randy,” Elissa said as she slid the piecrust into the pan and pressed it into place. “He told me the tire cost forty dollars, but he’d lie in a heartbeat if he thought it would protect me, so I’m thinking it had to be closer to fifty.”

She had exactly sixty-two dollars in her wallet and she needed most of them for grocery shopping that afternoon. Her checking account balance hovered right around zero, but she got paid in two days, so that was something.

“If I could afford a new tire, I would have bought it myself,” she muttered.

“It’s more practical than flowers,” Mrs. Ford offered. “Or chocolates.”

Elissa smiled. “Trust me, Walker isn’t courting me.”

“You don’t know that.”

She was fairly confident. He’d helped because…Because…She frowned. Actually, she didn’t know why he’d come to her aid. Probably because she’d looked pathetic as she’d wrestled with uncooperative lug nuts.

She rolled out the second crust. Flats of blueberries had been ridiculously cheap at the Yakima Fruit Stand. She’d pulled in after dropping Zoe off at her party. She had just enough time to make three piecrusts before she had to be back to pick up her daughter.

“I’ll finish up the pies after I come back from the grocery store,” Elissa said, more to herself than her neighbor. “Maybe if I take him one…”

Mrs. Ford smiled. “An excellent idea. Imagine what he’ll think when he gets a taste of your cooking.”

Elissa groaned. “You’re matchmaking, aren’t you?”

“A woman of your age all alone? It’s just not natural.”

“I like being a freak. It keeps me grounded.”

Mrs. Ford shook her head as she finished her coffee. She set down the mug, then slowly pushed to her feet. “I need to get back. There’s a Beauty by Tova hour starting on QVC. I’m nearly out of her perfume.”

“You go, girl,” Elissa said.

Mrs. Ford walked to the door that connected their two apartments, then paused. “I left you my list, didn’t I?”

Elissa nodded. “Yes. I have it in my purse. I’ll bring everything by when I get back.”

The older woman smiled. “You’re a good girl, Elissa. I’d be lost without you.”

“I feel the same way.”

Mrs. Ford stepped into her own kitchen and closed the door behind her.

Elissa had been a little disconcerted to discover that her neighbor had access to her house when she’d first moved into her apartment, but that had quickly changed. Mrs. Ford might be elderly and old-fashioned, but she was sharp and caring and adored Zoe. The three of them had quickly become friends, with Elissa and Mrs. Ford working out a system that benefited them both.

Mrs. Ford got Zoe ready for preschool in the morning and fed her breakfast. Elissa handled her neighbor’s grocery shopping, got her to doctor’s appointments and checked in on her regularly. Not that Mrs. Ford was home all that much. She was very active in the senior center and one of her many friends was always ready to pick her up for bridge or scrapbooking or a quick trip to an Indian casino.

“I want to be just like her when I grow up,” Elissa said as she carried the three piecrusts over to the oven.

But until then she had to figure out where she would find the money to pay for a new tire and what to say to her neighbor to make sure he understood that she would never, ever, under any circumstances be interested in him.

Not even on a bet. Not even if he showed up naked. Although, to be honest, if he showed up naked, she would probably look because she hadn’t seen a naked man in years. And he was more spectacular than most.

“I don’t need a man,” Elissa murmured as she set the timer. “I’m fine. Empowered. Only thirteen more years until Zoe is grown and in college. Then I can have sex again. Until then, I will think pure thoughts and be a good mother.”

And, very possibly, think about her new neighbor naked. Because if she had to be tempted, she wouldn’t mind him doing the job.

ZOE WAS IN BED BY EIGHT and sound asleep by eight-thirty. Elissa collected one of the blueberry pies and her last five dollars and headed up the stairs to Walker’s apartment.

Despite the absolute silence from overhead, his SUV was parked in front, so she knew he had to be there. She hadn’t seen anyone arrive to pick him up. Not that she’d been watching. She hadn’t! She might have been observing the comings and goings in her community as a way to stay alert for trouble and be a good citizen. The fact that she was fairly confident Walker was alone was only a side benefit of her altruistic civic activity.

Not that she cared if he was dating—she didn’t. But showing up with a pie and five bucks was weird enough to explain to him, without having to deal with a significant other hovering. Not that any woman Walker dated was likely to consider her much of a threat. Elissa knew exactly what she looked like—the wholesome girl next door. She didn’t mind. Her appearance meant her customers were far more likely to be protective than to come on to her, which made life a whole lot easier.

“Procrastinate much?” she asked herself as she forced her brain back to the task at hand. Namely, standing at the top of Walker’s stairs, inches from his front door. If he’d heard her climbing, he could be watching her right now, wondering why she’d come this far without knocking.

So she knocked, then waited until the door opened and he stood there, right in front of her.

He looked good. His T-shirt stretched across broad shoulders and a muscular chest. No doubt those muscles were the reason he’d been able to twist her lug nuts into submission without breaking a sweat. His jeans were worn, loose and faded. His dark eyes seemed expressionless, but not in a scary ax-murderer way. More like he kept the world at bay.

“Hi,” she said, when he remained silent. “I, ah, made pie.” She thrust it toward him and added, “It’s blueberry,” in case his confusion about the type of fruit was the reason he didn’t take it from her.

“You made me a pie?” he asked, his voice low. There was a hint of a question in the rumble, and more than a hint that he thought she was crazy, which she resented. She wasn’t the one breaking the rules here.

“Yes, a pie.” She thrust it forward until he took it, then held out a worn five-dollar bill.

“You’re paying me to eat your pie?”

“Of course not. I’m paying you—” She stopped and drew in a breath. She’d gone from grateful to annoyed in two seconds flat. “You bought me a tire. Did you really think I wouldn’t notice that bright, shiny bit of rubber? Is it me in particular or all women in general? Because I know this is a guy thing. You wouldn’t have done this if I were a man.”

“You wouldn’t have needed my help if you were a man.”

“Maybe.” Probably. But that wasn’t the point. “You slunk back here and put on the tire while I wasn’t looking. You even rubbed dirt on it so it wouldn’t look so new. And let me tell you, that’s just strange.”

He actually smiled. It was slight—no teeth, but somehow the action made him look open and approachable. “That was Randy’s idea.”

“It sounds like him.”

He took a step back. “Want to come in and talk about this or do you prefer my porch?”

“The porch is fine. This isn’t a social call.”

The smile faded. “Elissa, I get it. You don’t like that I bought you a tire. Yours had so many patches, it was dangerous. I should have let it go, but I couldn’t. I’m not going to apologize for what I did. I didn’t mean anything by it. I don’t want anything.” He held up the pie. “Except this. It smells good.”

She liked that he wasn’t using her tire against her. Gee, how many times had she been able to say that before in her life?

“I know you thought you were doing a good thing,” she said slowly. “But you don’t have the right to meddle in my life. I called Randy to find out what it cost. I think he lowballed me by about ten bucks, so I’ll be paying you back fifty dollars. It’s going to take me some time, but the pie is to show I’m sincere about it and here’s the first payment.”

He looked at the tattered bill. “I don’t want your money.”

“I don’t want to owe you.” She might not have much cash on hand, but she paid her bills on time and she never used credit except in emergencies where there was a risk of death or dismemberment.

“You’re stubborn,” he said.

“Thank you. I’ve worked hard to get this way.”

“What if I told you the money didn’t mean anything to me?” he asked.

Meaning what? He had plenty? She sighed at the thought. In her next life she was going to be rich for sure. It was right at the top of her wish list. But in this one…

“It matters to me,” she told him.

“Fine. But you don’t have to pay me in cash. We could work out a trade.”

White-hot anger blew up inside of her. Here it was—the truth. Behind that pretty face was a disgusting, evil, heartless bastard. Just like nearly every other guy on the planet.

Of course. Why was she even surprised? She’d been momentarily attracted to Walker, and based on her stellar track record, that meant there had to be something wrong with him. She’d expected a massive flaw. But she hadn’t thought it would be this.

“Not even if you were the last man alive after nuclear winter,” she said between gritted teeth. “I can’t believe you’d suggest that I would be willing…” She wanted to slap him. “It was a tire. It’s not like you gave me a kidney.”

He had the nerve to actually smile at her. “You’d sleep with me if I gave you a kidney?”

“You know what I mean. I’m done here. I’ll mail the rest of the money.”

She turned to leave, but suddenly he was somehow between her and the steps. How on earth had he moved so quickly?

His dark gaze claimed hers and all the humor fled from his face.

“Dinner,” he said quietly. “I was talking about a few meals. You cook every night and I can smell it. I’ve been existing on frozen dinners and bumming meals off my sister-in-law. When I said a trade, that’s what I meant. That’s all I meant.”

He wasn’t touching her, yet she felt his nearness. He was so much bigger than she was—she should have been afraid. She was nervous, but that was different.

Dinner, huh? It, ah, made sense. The more she thought about it, the more sense it made. Because, honestly, who would expect sex after replacing a cheap tire?

“Sorry,” she said, dropping her gaze to the center of his chest. “I thought you were…”

“I got that. I wasn’t. I wouldn’t.”

Wouldn’t what? Want sex with her? Not that she was doing that sort of thing these days, or for many days to come, but why was he so able to dismiss her? She might be wholesome, but she was kind of pretty. And smart. Smart counted, didn’t it?

Maybe he had a girlfriend. Maybe he was engaged. Maybe he was gay.

That last thought made her smile. Somehow she didn’t think Walker was gay.

“Let’s start over,” he said. “I bought the tire because I didn’t think yours could take one more patch. Randy charged me forty-five dollars for it. I’ll accept the pie and money. You can continue to pay me back as slowly as you’d like. Forget what I said about dinner, okay? The money is fine.”

He was doing everything right. So why did she want to argue with him?

“That works for me,” she said.

“Then we have a deal.”

He shifted the pie to his left hand and held out his right so they could shake on it.

She pressed her palm against his and nodded. “Good.”

His fingers were warm and strong. She felt a little quiver low in her belly. The unexpected reaction made her pull away and take a step back.

Danger came in all shapes and sizes. This particular form was big, powerful and far too sexy for her peace of mind. She still had thirteen years of celibacy ahead of her. Hanging around with Walker wasn’t going to make it easy.

Not that they were hanging. Nope. Not a single hang here.

“I should, ah, go,” she murmured as she edged around him and started down the stairs. “Enjoy the pie.”

“I will. Thank you, Elissa.”

She raced into her house and quickly closed the door behind her. Once there, she leaned against the wood until her heart rate returned to normal.

It was only then she noticed she was still holding the five dollars she’d tried to give him. There was no way she was going back up there tonight. She would leave it in his mailbox or something.

It was painfully obvious she should avoid Walker at all costs. He might be nice on the surface, but her original premise was still true. If she was attracted to him, then there was something seriously wrong with him. Right now, she couldn’t afford another male disaster in her life. She was still paying for the last one.

Literally.

CHAPTER TWO

WALKER DIDN’T HAVE a chance to knock on his brother’s front door. He was barely halfway up the walk when the door was flung open and a very pregnant Penny raced—well, waddled—out to greet him.

“You have a toolbox,” she said as she hugged him as tightly as her large stomach would allow. “Tell me there are tools inside. Real tools with handles and metal ends and unknown purposes?”

He wrapped one arm around her while he hoisted the metal toolbox with the other. “I left my pretend tools at home. When you asked me to bring tools, I thought you meant the real ones.”

“Thank you,” she breathed. “I did. I love Cal. He’s brilliant and charming and other things I won’t mention out of respect for the two of you being brothers, but he’s not so handy.”

“I heard that,” Cal grumbled from the doorway. “I’m very handy.”

“Of course, dear,” Penny said as she pushed past him. “Are you sure this is okay?” she asked Walker. “Helping out?”

He bent down and kissed her cheek, then closed his hand into a fist and bumped it against his brother’s closed fingers. “Happy to be here. You’re pregnant, you’re still working and Cal’s busy running an empire. I’ve got time.”

He followed them through a living room piled with boxes. Penny had moved into Cal’s house shortly after the wedding in early July. Even though that was nearly six weeks ago, she hadn’t done much in the way of unpacking.

“You’re judging me,” Penny called over her shoulder. “I can feel it. I know this mess violates your military code of honor or whatever, but just go with it.”

“Did I say anything?” Walker asked with a grin.

“You didn’t have to.”

She tucked her long auburn curls behind her ear and paused in front of the kitchen. “The rest of the place may be a mess, but the kitchen is perfect.”

“Why am I not surprised?” Walker glanced at his brother. “How many boxes did you have to find room for?”

“I lost count,” Cal said easily. “When I hit twenty-five, I figured there was no point in knowing.”

Penny was the executive chef at The Waterfront, one of four restaurants owned by Buchanan Enterprises. It was, in theory, a family-owned business, but only one of the Buchanan siblings worked there.

“I need the right equipment,” Penny said as she stepped aside and motioned for Walker to enter the kitchen. “You can’t create magic from crap.”

“You should put that on your business card,” he said as he took in the pale, buttery walls and the large pot rack hanging above the island. Without the dark red paint, the kitchen looked bigger. Windows let in light and brought out the colors in the new tile backsplash.

“You put in a backsplash but you haven’t unpacked or gotten the baby’s furniture ready?” he asked before he could stop himself.

Cal looked at him pityingly. “You had to go there, didn’t you?”

Penny’s gaze sharpened. “I’m sorry. Were you being critical just then? Did you plan for me to cook for you today?”

“He didn’t mean it,” Cal said, stepping between them. “Not everyone understands how your incredible mind works.” He lowered his voice. “Walker brought tools, remember?”

Penny laughed. “I know. It’s okay. Just don’t make me feel guilty. My back hurts.”

“Sorry,” Walker told her, enjoying their banter. He’d always liked Cal and Penny as a couple and had been happy to see them get back together. “Now about the baby’s room.”

“It’s through here,” Penny said, leading the way. “We finished painting last week. Well, Cal did. I supervised.”

“From a distance,” Cal reminded her.

She sighed. “Right. I wasn’t allowed to breathe the fumes. We have the curtains up, too. Now all we need is furniture. We physically own everything—the dresser, changing table, crib—but it’s in boxes.”

“Very nice boxes,” Cal reminded her.

“Oh, yeah. They’re stunning. But imagine if we had actual places to put things.”

The baby’s room was at the back of the house, with a view of the garden. Several large boxes stood in the center of the room. The walls were a soft green, the trim had been painted white. Sheer curtains covered open miniblinds.

“The rocking chair is in the office,” Penny said. “Until we get this cleaned up, there’s no space for it. I have a big area rug, too, but Cal said we should wait to put it down.”

“After we put everything together, we’ll clean up, then put down the rug,” Cal said.

Walker nodded and set his toolbox on the hardwood floor. “Let’s see what you bought.”

Penny stepped into the hallway. “I’ll get started on lunch. We’re having seafood crepes with a light cream sauce, some kind of pasta, I haven’t decided yet, and chocolate mousse torte with fresh berries for dessert.”

Walker’s stomach growled. “Sounds great.” He waited until Penny left, then looked at his brother. “You eat like this all the time?”

Cal groaned. “I had to join a gym.”

“Worth the price of admission.”

“For Penny’s cooking? You bet.”

They moved the boxes out of the center of the floor and decided to start with the dresser.

“Thanks for doing this,” Cal told him as he ripped open the cardboard.

“I don’t mind.”

“Aren’t you still settling in?”

Walker shook his head. “It took me exactly two hours to move in to my apartment and unpack.”

“You had stuff in storage, didn’t you?”

“Not much.” No furniture. Just a few personal things he hadn’t wanted to lose. He’d had to buy a sofa, TV and bed.

“Do you like the place?” Cal asked.

“It works for now.”

His brother pulled out the sheet of directions and tossed them into the closet. “Why an apartment? You could have bought a house.”

“I don’t know where I want to live yet,” Walker admitted. Or what he wanted to do with the rest of his life. He’d thought he would stay in the Marines until he retired. Then one day he’d realized it was time for him to leave. “No point in getting something permanent until I decide on a location.”

“You’re staying in Seattle, aren’t you?”

“That’s the plan.” As much as he had one.

“Want to come work for me?” Cal asked. “As a major stockholder, you’d be welcome.”

“No thanks. Coffee’s your thing.”

Several years ago, Cal and his partners had started The Daily Grind. Their initial three locations had grown into a popular West Coast chain that was rapidly expanding across the country. Walker had invested his savings in the start-up and the risk had paid off with a large chunk of shares that had steadily grown in value. He’d never bothered to calculate their exact worth, but he wasn’t thinking about getting a job because he needed the money.

“Still looking for Ashley?” Cal asked.

Walker shrugged. “Regularly. I went through another three and haven’t found her. But I will.”

“I don’t doubt it. Oh, Penny said the new general manager at The Waterfront quit.”

“Figures.” The family restaurants were successful businesses, but keeping executive staff was impossible. Gloria Buchanan, matriarch of the family and all-around bitch, drove the most talented away. “Gloria’s not getting in Penny’s face, is she?”

“No way.” Cal grinned. “I wrote the contract myself. Gloria isn’t allowed to step foot in the kitchen without permission.”

Walker set out the pieces of the dresser, then opened his toolbox. “Being married agrees with you.”

“We got it right the second time around. Six months ago, I wouldn’t have thought it possible. What about you?”

“I’m not interested in a second chance with Penny. Or a first one. She’s your girl.”

His brother punched him in the arm. “You know what I mean. You can’t be alone forever.”

“Why not? I don’t need anyone.”

“We all need someone. The difference is some of us are willing to admit it sooner than others.”

“I RESENT THIS,” Elissa said as she stirred the chili simmering on the stove. “I resent being manipulated, even by my own guilt. It’s wrong on so many levels.”

All of this was Walker’s fault, she thought as she crossed to the mixing bowl and poured the corn bread batter into a greased glass pan. She hadn’t been able to shake feeling stupid about her assumption when he’d offered to let her “pay in trade.” His comment about smelling her cooking had taken root in her brain and now she was making chili for the express purpose of apologizing. Plus, she still had to give him the five dollars he’d so artfully avoided when she’d given him the pie.

Twenty minutes later, she knocked on the door between her place and Mrs. Ford’s.

“I can smell the chili,” the older lady said happily. “I took my Prevacid earlier and I’m ready for second helpings.”

“Good. Everything is ready. Have a seat. I’m going to run upstairs and tell Walker dinner is ready.”

Mrs. Ford raised her eyebrows. Elissa sighed.

“It’s not what you think. I still have to give him my first down payment and I’m making up for…well, you know.”

She’d told her neighbor all about the unfortunate misunderstanding. Mrs. Ford had taken great pains to point out that a lady did not sleep with a gentleman for any reason other than love or really powerful sexual attraction. Even being given a kidney wasn’t good enough. As if Elissa didn’t already know that.

“Chili is an excellent choice,” Mrs. Ford said. “A very manly dish. No froufrou vegetables or tofu surprise. An excellent move.”

“It’s not a move.”

“It should be. Elissa, darling, he’s a very handsome man.”

Elissa opened her mouth, then closed it. What was the point of trying?

“I’ll be right back,” she said, then yelled into the living room. “Zoe, dinner’s ready. Please go wash your hands.”

“Okay, Mommy.”

Once again Elissa climbed the stairs. She walked briskly across the small landing and knocked firmly on the door. No way she was going to let him know she felt embarrassed by their previous conversation. Nope, except for the fact that she was cooking for him, she was going to pretend it never happened.

He opened the door. “Hello, Elissa.”

Sometime in the past three or four days, she’d forgotten what he looked like. Oh, sure, she could have picked him out of a lineup and been confident he was her neighbor, but she’d lost track of the specifics.

She hadn’t remembered how his dark eyes seemed to observe everything without giving anything away. How his strong features made her want to trust him instantly or that his mouth was both stern and intriguing.

He looked solid, steady…dependable. All very appealing traits, given her history with men.

“Hi. You never took the money.” She thrust the five dollars at him and held her arm steady until he took it from her.

“Thanks. You didn’t have to—”

She cut him off with a flick of her wrist. “I did have to. It helps me sleep at night. I also wanted to apologize for the misunderstanding. I jumped to not very flattering conclusions and I shouldn’t have.”

“I realize how that could have happened.”

She wondered if that was true or if he was just being polite. And then she wondered how his skin would feel if she touched his arms. Was it rough or soft? Did the muscles yield at all or were they—

She mentally put on the brakes and smiled brightly so he wouldn’t guess what she was thinking. Dear God, what was wrong with her? She’d seen plenty of good-looking men before. Some even in person. But she’d never reacted like this. It was worse than feeling guilty. Which meant she should get to the point.

“I made chili,” she said. “You mentioned smelling my cooking and wanting to trade what I owe you for that. I’m all right with that. So I made chili and corn bread. There’s pie left, but you probably still have some of your own, so I don’t know how interesting blueberry pie would be. Although I have ice cream. It was on sale. Chocolate chip. Zoe and I do the chocolate thing.”

When she realized she was babbling, she pressed her lips firmly together, then cleared her throat.

“My point is, you’re welcome to join us.” Hmm, that didn’t sound right. “Mrs. Ford is already downstairs. This isn’t anything but payback. I’m not asking you out or anything. I don’t date. Anyone. I don’t do anything else, either. I’m not issuing a challenge. I know some guys assume if a woman’s alone, it’s a challenge. I’m not. I’m not interested in getting involved or having a fling or anything like that. This isn’t a good time for me. Zoe’s really young and there are other complications.”

Big ones, she thought, thinking that Neil was at least six feet and was never going to go away.

“You’re saying you don’t want to date or have sex with me,” he clarified.

“Right,” she agreed, before actually processing what he’d said.

“Good to know.”

His gaze never wavered and nothing about his expression changed. She wished she could say the same about herself, but no. Even as she stood there, she felt heat climbing her cheeks. No doubt she’d turned bright red. Perhaps because the poor man had never indicated he was interested in her at all. He’d asked for a meal, not a night of hot monkey sex.

“Oh, God,” she breathed. “Not that you asked or anything. I’m just—”

He held up one hand to stop her. “Elissa. Quit while you’re ahead.”

“Good idea.”

“I get the message.”

“Yippee.”

“I understand why you said it. I respect your honesty. Sleep easy. I won’t make a pass at you.”

Which should have made her happy, but she wasn’t sure if he was being agreeable or making fun of her. If only she could slink away and start this day over.

She cleared her throat. “Did you want some chili and corn bread?”

“Yes, but I’ll come down and get a plate. I don’t want to disturb your dinner plans.”

“You mean you want the food but you won’t be joining us?”

“Is that a problem?”

A surprise maybe, but not a problem. “Whatever you’d prefer.”

“Okay. Let me grab a bowl and a plate and I’ll meet you downstairs.”

“You don’t have to do that. I have plates.”

“This way I don’t have to return them.”

She winced. Definitely mocking her, she thought glumly. Truth be told, she’d earned it. She turned and walked down to her apartment.

Easy solution, she thought. She’d stop talking to the man. That would increase her odds of not making a fool out of herself. She would also add to her “next life” list. In addition to money, she seriously needed to explore the possibility of being slightly less outspoken.

THE ALARM RANG at 4:00 a.m., as it did every weekday morning. Elissa got up immediately—she’d learned her body cooperated better while it was still in shock over the predawn hour. If she hit the snooze button, she was at risk of never getting out of bed.

She showered, then wrapped her hair in a towel while she applied the barest touch of makeup. Tinted moisturizer, mascara, lip gloss. After dressing in her Eggs ’n’ Stuff uniform, she ran the blow-dryer until she’d passed from wet to damp, then combed her hair and put it in a quick ponytail. At four-thirty, she walked into the kitchen and inhaled the scent of brewing coffee.

Whoever had invented timers on coffee machines deserved an award, or, at the very least, a star named in his or her honor. As Elissa reached for a mug, she heard a very distinct thump from overhead.

The sound was loud and out of place. The moan that followed made her shiver.

Something was going on upstairs. Something she should ignore. Except there was a second thump and a louder moan.

What if Walker had fallen and hurt himself? He looked to be in too good a shape for that, but he could have slipped or fallen while drunk.

She hesitated between not wanting to get involved and knowing she couldn’t leave Zoe until she knew everything was all right. After quickly checking on her daughter, who was still sleeping soundly, Elissa grabbed her trusty baseball bat from the hall closet and hurried upstairs.

She knocked briskly, then announced herself in case he was in the throes of some war-induced hallucination. She didn’t want him to shoot or maim her in his confusion.

When he didn’t answer right away, she knocked again, louder this time, then winced as the sharp sound cut through the quiet of the night.

Finally the door opened. Walker stood there wearing nothing but rumpled pj bottoms. His chest was bare, he needed a shave, and for once his eyes weren’t hiding his feelings. He was amused as hell.

“So much for not wanting to get into my bed,” he said.

She glared at him. “You were thunking and moaning. It’s four-thirty in the morning. What was I supposed to think?”

The humor faded. “Seriously?” he asked.

“I do not make this stuff up.”

He looked at the baseball bat. “Was that to take me out or to protect me from whatever was happening?”

“I hadn’t decided.”

“It’s been a long time since someone came to my rescue.” His lips twitched as if he were fighting the need to grin.

Ha-ha. Yeah, this was a laughfest. She couldn’t believe he was fine.

“So you’re all right,” she muttered. “Great. I won’t bother you again.”

She turned to leave, but he grabbed her arm. When she glanced at him, the humor had faded.

“I’m sorry,” he said, looking as if he meant it. “I was having a bad dream. I woke up on the floor. I guess I thrashed around until I fell. It was good of you to worry about me.”

She sighed. “But unnecessary.”

“I could pretty much take anyone.”

“Whatever.”

“I appreciate you coming to my rescue.”

She pulled free of his touch. “Now you’re mocking me.”

“A little.”

At that moment, her entire hormonal system stirred to life and noticed there was a half-naked man standing very, very close. Elissa felt the chemicals pouring through her body. Wanting exploded as her girl parts got hard or melty, depending on their placement. All this and she hadn’t even had her coffee.

“I need caffeine,” she muttered.

“Me, too.”

“I have a pot on and—” she glanced at her watch “—twenty minutes until I have to leave. You’re welcome to a cup.”

She expected him to refuse. Instead he surprised her by saying, “That would be great,” then following her downstairs.

She wanted to point out he had bare feet and wasn’t wearing a shirt. Then she told herself that if he didn’t care, she should just smile and enjoy the show.

Once in her kitchen, she put down the baseball bat, grabbed a second mug and held it out to him. He waited for her to pour her own coffee before taking the carafe for himself.

“I assume you take it black,” she murmured, aware of Zoe sleeping just down the hall.

“I used to be a Marine,” he said. “What else?”

She smiled, then leaned against the counter. “Have a lot of bad dreams?”

“They come and go.” He shrugged, then took a drink. “Some things can’t be forgotten.”

“Is that why you left?” she asked. “Too much bad stuff?”

“Maybe.”

She had the feeling she was prying. “We don’t have to talk about it.”

“It’s okay. I spent a lot of time looking for snipers and listening for bombs. Sometimes they come back to me.”

She had her own nightmares, but they weren’t nearly that violent.

“I hope I didn’t wake Zoe,” he said.

“You didn’t. I checked on her before I went up to your place. She could sleep through a tornado. I vacuumed a lot during her naps when she was a baby. I read somewhere it works for kids who sleep soundly. In her case, it worked.”

This was the strangest conversation she’d had all week, she thought. She would never in a million years have imagined a half-dressed, barefoot Walker in her kitchen at four forty-five in the morning, drinking coffee and talking about her daughter and being a Marine.

“She’s a good kid,” he said.

“I like to think so.” She hesitated. “Is it strange to be back in civilian life, having a child living nearby, that sort of thing?”

“There are kids everywhere. At least here, Zoe can grow up safe. I didn’t always see that.”

There was a lot of regret in his voice. She wondered what he had seen, then realized she probably didn’t want to know.

She noticed that even that early, his posture was perfect. She tried to subtly square her own shoulders and slump a little less.

“Great chicken,” he said.

It took her a second to realize he meant her uniform. She glanced down and laughed at the large hen on her apron. “I work at Eggs ’n’ Stuff. It’s a breakfast and lunch diner.”

“I know it.”

“Then you recognized the uniform. Frank, my boss, is a great guy, but we can’t talk him out of the chicken. Apparently it dates back to the 1950s. At least the shoes are comfy.” She held up one foot, showing her white orthopedic lace-ups. “I’m just waiting for these bad boys to come in style.”

“You’re on your feet all day.”

“Still, a little pretty wouldn’t hurt. But they, and the chicken, are a small price to pay. I get fabulous tips, really good benefits and once Zoe starts school, I’ll be home before her.”

“Who gets her ready in the morning?”

“Mrs. Ford.”

“I thought maybe your ex-husband came over to take care of things.”

For a full two seconds she thought he was fishing to find out about her marital status. Then she remembered the unfortunate babbling incident a few days before, where she’d flat out told him she wasn’t interested in dating or sex, only to realize the poor man hadn’t even asked.

“No ex,” she said easily.

“Then if I see a strange man lurking in the bushes, I’ll beat the crap out of him.”

“Absolutely.”

She took a last drink of coffee and looked at the clock.

“You have to go,” Walker said, putting down his mug. “Sorry about bothering you. I’ll try to have my nightmares more quietly. Thanks for the coffee.” He picked up the baseball bat. “And for coming to my rescue.”

She sighed. “I hate starting my day feeling foolish.”

“Don’t. You did a good thing.”

He put the bat down and left.

Elissa rinsed out both mugs, slipped the bat back in the hall closet, did a last check on Zoe, opened the door between her place and Mrs. Ford’s, then walked to her car.

As it was August, the sun was already up and birds all over the neighborhood were announcing the fact. She drove down the quiet streets and thought about Walker. He was an interesting man. Not a serial killer. She was willing to let that worry go. But he did have his secrets. Of course, so did she.

CHAPTER THREE

DANI BUCHANAN LOVED everything about her job. As assistant to the executive chef, she was in charge of reviewing food orders, making sure the kitchen staff showed up when they should, acting as liaison between the front of the house—the dining room—and the back of the house—the kitchen. During the dinner rush, she expedited plates and made sure the right orders got to the right table at the right time.

With Penny approaching zero hour on her pregnancy, she was spending less and less time at the restaurant, which meant more responsibility for Dani. Instead of feeling the pressure, Dani felt energized. She loved the challenges, how no two days were the same. She enjoyed the foul-mouthed cooks who had made her prove she wouldn’t blush at the raunchy jokes. Here in the kitchen of The Waterfront, she was just staff. Not Penny’s sister-in-law, not one of “the” Buchanans. She was judged on the job she did, nothing more.

She finished checking the produce delivery and signed the receipt. As the delivery truck rumbled away, Edouard, Penny’s sous-chef and the man now temporarily in charge of the cooks, walked in.

Dani eyed his scowl. “Someone not getting any?” she asked sweetly.

“This job is cutting into my social life,” Edouard told her with a sniff. “I am forced to leave the clubs before I am ready. Sometimes I am forced to leave alone. I do not like that.”

Edouard was French, moody, brilliant and recovering from a breakup. He could have made a reputation for himself, but he didn’t want the responsibility. Instead he was happy to be highly paid by Penny and have a life outside of work. Except while she was on semimaternity leave.

He walked into the kitchen and looked at the list of specials.

“You change them every day,” he complained. “Why is that?”

“Partly tradition and partly to annoy you.”

“We do not have the same people dining here night after night. They would not know if the specials remained the same for a week or so.”

“Suck it up, big guy.”

Edouard spread out his knives and checked the blades. He reached for a particularly nasty-looking cleaver. “I do not like it when you call me that.”

Dani held up both hands and smiled. “Point taken.”

“Good. Now I will cook your specials because I am a professional, but I will not be happy about it.”

“Duly noted.”

He sighed. “When will Penny be back?”

“She hasn’t left yet.”

“She is not here all the time. I miss her doing the hard work.”

He continued complaining, but Dani slipped out of the kitchen and headed to Penny’s office. There was more paperwork to be done before things got busy. She settled in front of the computer and entered the information for the produce order. Thirty minutes later, that was complete and she went to get another cup of coffee.

Several of the cooks had arrived. Stocks were already simmering as vegetables were chopped in preparation for that night’s dinner. A far cry from Burger Heaven, Dani thought as she filled her mug. Their setup was no more complicated than prepping burger toppings and picking the milkshake flavor of the month.

She’d stayed there too long, hoping her grandmother would notice the great job she’d been doing and move her to this place or Buchanan’s, the family steak house. But Gloria never had. A combination of family loyalty and the need for the great insurance had kept Dani in place until a few months ago, when she’d discovered nothing was as it seemed.

The insurance for her husband had become unnecessary when the lowlife cheater had asked her for a divorce. As for family loyalty, that was no longer an issue, either. When Dani had pushed to find out why she wasn’t getting promoted, her supposed grandmother had gleefully informed her that she, Dani, wasn’t actually a Buchanan. Dani had quit that instant.

The momentary act of thumbing her nose at a woman who had obviously always hated her had sustained her for all of forty-five minutes. Then Dani had been left with no job, no home and no idea what to do with her future.

A job offer from Penny to be her assistant had solved all of Dani’s problems and had given her time to figure out what she wanted to do while getting fabulous experience for her resume. In addition, Penny’s marriage to Cal meant Dani could take over the lease on Penny’s house. Plus there was the added bonus of knowing her presence at The Waterfront made Gloria furious. As Penny’s employment contract stated she was allowed to hire whomever she liked for her assistant, the old cow couldn’t touch Dani.

That was the upside of her life. The downside was finding out she wasn’t who she thought. And then there was the small mystery of her father.

Apparently her mother had had an affair that resulted in a pregnancy—Dani. But who was the guy? Did he know he had a daughter? Did he care? If Gloria knew, she wasn’t telling. But Dani was going to have to decide what to do.

Someone knocked on the open door, interrupting her musings. She turned and nearly passed out as all the air flew out of her lungs.

A man stood in the doorway. But not just any man. This one was tall, blond and oh so good-looking. Greek-god-like, even. His dark blue eyes and square jaw were male perfection and exactly Dani’s personal fantasy. Was it her birthday? Had someone wonderful sent her a present?

“Hi. I’m Ryan Jennings. I’m looking for Dani or Edouard?”

“I’m Dani.” She stood and brushed the front of her tailored blouse, wishing there was a way to subtly unbutton it a little more. She might be on the short side, but she had curves and she was suddenly in the mood to flaunt them.

He smiled. “Hey. Good to meet you. I’m really happy to be here. This is a great store and I’m looking forward to being on the team.”

Team? So he would be working here. Hmm, maybe her luck was changing. After the past few months, she was due for something wonderful to happen.

“Gloria Buchanan doesn’t exactly keep me in the loop on new hires,” Dani said easily, able to forgive the oversight when Ryan was so yummy. “And I haven’t talked to Penny yet today. You are going to be…?”

“The new general manager. Gloria didn’t tell you?”

“Don’t take it personally. She likes to spring things on people.”

“Interesting management style.”

“You don’t know the half of it.” She walked around her desk until she was next to Ryan. “Welcome aboard.”

They shook hands. She felt definite heat. Until that moment, she hadn’t given a thought to her love life. She was in the middle of a lot of personal upheaval and getting involved hadn’t seemed important. But suddenly, she saw possibilities.

“I’m a little overwhelmed by all of this,” he said. “I only interviewed a couple of days ago. I wasn’t sure I’d done that good a job, but she called this morning and made me a great offer.”

“Which you took.”

His eyes locked with hers. “Lucky me.”

Her thoughts exactly.

There were actual sparks, which she hadn’t felt in a really long time. Sparks, heat and a lot of potential. She suddenly felt like bursting into song.

“Okay then,” she said, telling herself it was important not to act like an idiot in front of Ryan. “Let me show you around the place. Are you from the Seattle area?”

“No. San Diego. I moved up here to help a buddy open a restaurant. Unfortunately the funding fell through and I found myself looking for a job in a strange city.”

“Seattle is great,” she said.

“I like what I’ve seen so far.”

He smiled at her as he spoke, as if implying he wasn’t just talking about Seattle.

She wondered how inappropriate it was to drag him back to her desk and have her way with him. Or not, she thought. Maybe she should take things more slowly. Show him the restaurant, let him meet the staff and drag him to her desk in the morning.

She smiled. It was always nice to have a plan.

“ELISSA, PHONE CALL.” Mindy held out the phone and smiled. “It’s a guy,” she mouthed.

Elissa put down the sugar container she’d been refilling in the lull between breakfast and lunch and told herself there was no reason to panic. Only she couldn’t seem to stop her heart from thumping wildly or her breath from disappearing.

She almost never got calls at work. The only one she could remember in the past year had been to tell her that Zoe had woken up with a fever and wouldn’t be going to preschool that day.

Could Neil have found her again? He always seemed to. It was the Internet. With fifty bucks, you could find anyone. Or maybe someone he knew had come in and recognized her. Or was it worse? A doctor at an emergency room, phoning about a horrible accident that had hurt her daughter?

“Hello?” she said into the phone.

“Elissa, it’s Walker. I’m sorry to bother you at work.”

Walker? She hadn’t talked to him in nearly a week. Not since their predawn coffee moment. “Is everything all right? Did something happen to Zoe?”

“What? No. As far as I know, she’s fine. This is about something else. Do you have a minute?”

“Sure. But let me call you back from the employee phone in the break room.” She scribbled down his number, then hung up and announced she was taking a break.

Mindy smiled knowingly as Elissa walked past her. She was going to have some explaining to do later.

She settled in one of the plastic chairs and picked up the phone. Seconds later she heard Walker’s low voice.

“What’s up?” she asked.

“I need to come by the restaurant and I wanted to explain why.”

There was an explanation? “It’s a public place,” she said. “Anyone is allowed.”

“I know, but this is different.” He paused, then said, “Before I left the Marines, a buddy of mine died. His name was Ben. He was a good kid. Determined. We were friends. He took a bullet and I wrote a letter for his family.”

“I’m sorry,” she murmured, wishing there were other words, more meaningful words, she could speak.

“He lost his folks when he was pretty young and grew up in foster care. He didn’t have any family, so there’s no one to send the letter to. But he told me about this girl. Ashley. He was crazy about her and wanted to marry her when he got out. All I know is that they went to high school together and her first name.”

“You want her to have the letter,” Elissa said, knowing moments like this put her life in perspective. Honestly, what did she have to complain about?

“Yeah. Ben went to four high schools in four years. I’ve made a list of all the Ashleys and I’m visiting them one by one.”

Suddenly the call made sense. “Ashley Bledsoe works here.”

“She’s on the list. I want to come by and talk to her, but I didn’t want to freak you out.”

She smiled. “I wouldn’t have thought of you as a guy who said words like freak.”

“I have many sides.”

She liked the ones she’d seen.

“Ashley works until two. If you come about one-thirty, we’re pretty slow. You can ask your questions and have lunch.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

She tightened her grip on the phone. “I won’t say anything to her,” she told him. She sensed it was important for him to have the conversation himself.

“I appreciate that. I’ll see you at one-thirty.”

She hung up, then stared out the window at the parking lot. Ben must have meant a lot to Walker for him to go to all this trouble. It made sense that living through dangerous situations together would forge strong bonds of friendship. Whoever Ben’s Ashley was, she was going to be getting some sad news.

Elissa tried to remember if her friend had ever mentioned a guy named Ben, but the way Ashley dated, it was tough to keep track of all the guys.

She stood and walked out of the break room. Both Mindy and Ashley were waiting for her in the short hallway.

“What?” she asked, knowing they were about to start grilling her.

“It was a man,” Mindy said with a grin. “A guy called you. And don’t try to pretend it was your dentist or something. He didn’t sound like a dentist.”

“It was Walker, my neighbor. He had a question.”

Ashley and Mindy exchanged glances.

“Uh-huh,” Ashley said. “A question that couldn’t wait until tonight? I can’t believe you’re involved and you didn’t tell us.”

“I’m not,” Elissa said firmly. “I swear. Walker is my new neighbor. We’ve talked a few times, but that’s it. There’s nothing going on.”

Neither of her friends looked convinced. She almost told them he would be stopping by later, but then decided to keep that tidbit to herself. One way or the other, they were going to jump to conclusions. She might as well enjoy their reactions to Walker first, as a small payment for what they would put her through.

WALKER ARRIVED right on time. Elissa didn’t see him walk in, but Mindy breathed a quiet, “Oh my,” which made Elissa look up.

She had to admit the man was a show all by himself. Even in worn jeans and a polo shirt, he looked both powerful and incredibly sexy.

Mindy glanced at her. “If that’s your lunch date, I’m going to be very, very bitter.”

Elissa grinned, passed over a package of sugar and went to seat him.

“Hi,” she said as she approached. “Are you going to be having lunch with us?”

“Sure. Can you seat me in your section and send Ashley over?”

“Of course.”

She gave him a booth by the window. Most of their lunch customers had left. There were only a half-dozen tables still in use.

“The burgers are great,” she said. “So are the salads, but you don’t strike me as a salad guy. All the omelets are amazing and you can either get hash browns or fries with them. Oh, and don’t tip me. You can apply the money to the tire.”

“I’ll take a bacon burger, fries and a Coke, and I will tip you. You can pay me back with it or not.”

“You’re a stubborn man.”

He grinned as he passed over the menu. “You’re not so bad yourself.”

“I work at it. Okay, I’ll put in your order and send over Ashley.”

She walked to the computer terminal and typed in his lunch, then told her friend that the hunk at table fifteen would very much like a word with her.

Ashley’s eyes widened. “Elissa, no. He’s yours.”

“He’s not and this isn’t about asking you out.”

Ashley pouted. “Then why do I want to bother talking to him?”

“Just go.”

Mindy watched the exchange. “That’s interesting. Want to tell me what it’s all about?”

Elissa quickly filled her in. Mindy sighed.

“So he’s really not here for you. Bummer.”

“I’m okay with it,” Elissa said.

“You shouldn’t be,” her friend told her. “Dammit, Elissa, he’s good-looking, nice and someone doing the right thing. Why aren’t you interested?”

“I have my plan.”

Mindy rolled her eyes. “Going another thirteen years without sex isn’t a plan, it’s a death sentence. I know you love your daughter and we all admire that, but you’re taking yourself a little too seriously.”

Elissa appreciated the concern. “You don’t understand. I have really, really lousy taste in men. If I’m attracted to Walker—and I’m not saying I am—but if I were, there would be something hugely wrong with him.”

“That’s crazy.”

“Not for me.”

Elissa watched as Walker held out a picture. Ashley took it, then shook her head.

Elissa poured his drink and carried it to his table.

“She’s not the one,” he said.

“How many Ashleys have you talked to?”

“Fifteen so far. I found the easy ones first. I had to travel to Oregon and Montana for two of them.”

“You’re not going to give up, are you?”

“Ben was a good kid. He had a lot of heart. Someone out there has to have cared about him, missed him. I’m going to find her.”

“I know you will.” Walker wasn’t the kind to give up. He had a lot of heart, too, although she would guess he wouldn’t want to admit it.

“Your friends are watching us.”

She didn’t have to turn around to know who he meant. “They’re intrigued by you.”

“Sorry to bring this into your work.”

“It’s okay. We haven’t had that many things to talk about in the past few days. Now we have you.”

“I’m not that interesting.”

“You’d be surprised.”

THE SPORTS BAR CROWD groaned as the Mariners left two men on base. Walker ignored the game and walked toward the bar. His brother Reid leaned against the polished wood of the bar and smiled at the herd of women surrounding him.

When Reid spotted Walker, he slipped away from his adoring fans and promised he would be back later.

“You haven’t been in for a while,” Reid said as the two brothers claimed an empty corner table. “Getting lucky?”

Walker ignored that and ordered a beer from the busty, blond waitress who paused by their table.

“I’m good,” Reid told her and then turned his attention back to Walker. “Well?”

“I’m busy.”

“So you’re not getting any.” He motioned to the many women in the bar. “See anything you like here?”

“What do they see in you?” he asked.

“They think I’m charming.”

Walker wasn’t so sure about that, but Reid’s many years as a major league pitcher certainly helped his score quotient.

“But enough about me,” Reid said. “You’ve been back, what? Three months? All I know about is one short fling that lasted maybe two nights. It’s just not natural for a man to be alone, especially when he doesn’t have to be. You’ve got the soldier thing going for you. Plus, hey, you’re a Buchanan.”

“You don’t have anyone special in your life,” Walker pointed out.

Reid held up both hands. “I’m not talking about special. Who needs that? Just a little something to take your mind off things. It might help you adjust to life in the real world.”

“What makes you think I’m having any trouble adjusting?”

Reid shrugged. “I did. It’s a bitch to go from the roaring crowd chanting my name to this.”

“You’re doing okay.”

Reid’s stark expression said okay wasn’t good enough.

“It’s your first season out,” Walker said. “It’ll get easier.”

The waitress appeared with the beer. Walker took it and thanked her.

“You think it’s going to get easier for you?” Reid asked. “You want to tell me you don’t still dream about the bombs and the fear and the waiting for the next sniper shot?”

Walker never talked about his time in the military, but he wasn’t surprised to hear Reid’s accurate assessment of his life. He’d been in several hot spots. How hard was it to guess the big picture?

“It’s different,” he said.

“Agreed, but it’s still an adjustment.”

Around them the crowd cheered a home run. Reid didn’t bother to look at the giant TV screens.

“Are you sorry you left?” Reid asked.

Walker could read between the lines. He’d had a choice. Reid hadn’t. Once he blew out his shoulder, it was all over.

“I made the right decision,” Walker said slowly. “There are things I miss about the Marines, but not the killing. Every man has a line. If he crosses it, he becomes a psychopath. I was getting too damn close.”

“So what do you do now?” Reid asked. “After you find Ashley?”

Walker shrugged.

“Penny did twenty minutes on how you put the baby furniture together,” Reid told him. “You’re good at that kind of stuff. Maybe you should buy an old house and fix it up.”

“I’ve thought about it.”

He wasn’t ready to move just yet. He liked where he lived.

Damn—he was in big trouble if he was lying to himself. It wasn’t the place he liked, it was Elissa. Her and that stupid chicken on her uniform. How she’d looked so fierce, standing on his porch with her baseball bat. He wasn’t anyone who needed protecting, but she hadn’t thought of that. She’d just decided he was in trouble and had come to the rescue.

He hadn’t met anyone like her in a long time—maybe ever. Determined and independent with a heart as hard as a marshmallow. She was sexy as hell, too. Especially when she earnestly explained why she wasn’t interested in dating or having sex with him.

But he wasn’t going to act on it. He knew better than to get involved. Things would only end badly for her and he didn’t want that.

“I know some twins,” Reid said into the silence. “Interested?”

Walker rolled his eyes. “Not all problems can be solved with sex.”

Reid grinned. “Most of them can.”

“I’M READY FOR MORE vegetables, dear,” Mrs. Ford said from her place at Elissa’s kitchen table.

Elissa glanced over at the nearly full salad bowl. “You made quick work of everything.”

“It’s all in the right tools.” The older woman held up a unique little gadget that looked like a cross between garden shears and kitchen scissors. “I saw this Toss and Chop on QVC and knew I had to have it.”

Elissa stirred the pasta, making sure it cooked evenly. There was a nice marinara sauce with a whisper of meat—a scant quarter pound she hadn’t put in the chili.

“I felt kind of guilty at the mall today,” she admitted. “Like a fashion spy or something.”

“Why? You went into the store, you saw what was popular and you left. Hardly a crime.”

“I know. If I could afford to buy Zoe’s clothes, I would. But one of the dresses I looked at cost forty-five dollars. It’s not even two yards of fabric.”

Instead, she’d gone into the popular stores and checked out the various hot styles. Once home, she’d sketched out a few things to make herself. She wanted to make sure her daughter felt good about her clothes when she started kindergarten. Elissa still remembered the year she’d turned eleven and had shot up a couple of inches practically overnight. She’d gone to school with jeans that were too short and had been teased mercilessly. To this day, she still remembered crying all the way home.

Growing up was challenging enough. She was going to do her best to make sure Zoe avoided all possible pitfalls.

“Jeans and T-shirts are easy,” Elissa said. “Thank goodness for Wal-Mart. But the rest of it…”

“You’ll do fine. Have you seen Walker recently?”

Elissa stirred the sauce. “Not your smoothest transition.”

“I’m old and therefore allowances are made. Have you?”

“Not really.” Not if one didn’t count his recent visit to the restaurant. She didn’t want to get into the reason why he’d been there and if she left that out, Mrs. Ford was likely to assume things were heating up, which they weren’t.

“You should consider him,” Mrs. Ford said. “You’ve often mentioned that Zoe needs a father figure in her life.”

If Elissa had been swallowing, she would have choked. “You’re suggesting Walker for the job?”

“Why not? He’s an honorable man.”

Elissa could imagine him doing a lot of things, but being a surrogate father to a five-year-old little girl? “There’s more to it than just being honorable. He’s not exactly emotionally accessible.”

“Neither are you, dear.”

“Ouch.”

Mrs. Ford shook her head. “I’m sorry if that sounded harsh, and I apologize in advance for speaking my mind. Elissa, you’re living like a nun. It’s not natural for a woman your age. You have a perfectly attractive, healthy man living less than ten feet over your head. You should do something about that. Use it or lose it, I always say.”

Elissa didn’t know what to think. Parts of her brain actually froze. Was her ninety-something neighbor suggesting she have sex with Walker? Sex?

“Actually, you don’t say that,” Elissa managed at last. “You said I had to be in love first. While I appreciate the advice…” Sort of. “The thing is, I don’t want Zoe hurt. I don’t want her to get attached only to have the guy leave.”

“Not all men leave.”

True. Sometimes you had to kick them out yourself.

Mrs. Ford’s dark eyes narrowed. “It’s important for Zoe to know what a healthy romantic relationship looks like. She needs to understand how a man and woman relate to each other.”

“That’s why we watch television,” Elissa said cheerfully. “There are plenty of perfect families there.”

CHAPTER FOUR

SATURDAY ELISSA ARRIVED home with Zoe only to find Mrs. Ford standing on the front porch. It was warm and the old lady shouldn’t be out in the sun. The fact that she was gave Elissa a bad feeling.

“What’s wrong?” Elissa asked as she got out of the car.

“It’s the plumbing, dear,” Mrs. Ford said with a sigh. “It’s all backed up. I spoke to the answering service. Our landlord is on a cruise and the usual plumber isn’t answering his page. The service is trying to get someone here on an emergency basis, but they keep pointing out that it’s Saturday and it’s very expensive for that kind of call.”

Elissa groaned. Was that their way of only pretending to make the call?

“Let me call them,” she said. “Zoe, honey, stay out here with Mrs. Ford.”

“Why?” her daughter asked.

“Because when the plumbing backs up, it gets really stinky.”

Mrs. Ford smiled. “Stinky is a very good word.”

Seattle’s other name—the Emerald City—came from the abundance of trees and lots of rain. But the rain mostly fell in winter. Summer could be hot and sunny for weeks at a time, like now. Unfortunately, most apartments weren’t air-conditioned—no one thought it was worth the expense for only a few weeks out of the year.

Which meant Elissa’s apartment was not only stinky, it was stifling when she went inside.

The smell was thick and disgusting. She had the feeling it would never wash out of her hair. She quickly went around the apartment and opened all the windows, then did the same in Mrs. Ford’s place. On her tour, she noted that every sink and both tubs were backed up.

The same thing had happened right after she’d moved in. Tree roots caused the problem. A quick visit by the plumber with some nifty tool had cleared things up, leaving only the mess to contend with. She had an unfortunate feeling this time wasn’t going to be so easy.

“Elissa?”

She heard Walker calling her name and walked toward the sound. She found him in her kitchen.

“Hi,” she said. “Welcome to the neighborhood. Any chance I can convince you not to flush or run water?”

Being the upstairs apartment, Walker wouldn’t have the backup, although anything he did up there would spill into her place.

“Mrs. Ford said she didn’t think the service was trying that hard to find a plumber,” he said by way of answering.

“Apparently our usual guy isn’t answering his page. I was just going to call them and give them a stern talking-to. I’m guessing this is caused by tree roots. Our main line runs across the driveway and then into the grove of trees on the east side of the property. At least that’s what it was last time.”

Walker checked out her kitchen sink, then asked, “Do you know where the trap is?”

“Sure.”

She led the way outside. Zoe danced over to stare at Walker. “Can you fix the stinky plumbing?”

Elissa held in a smile. Later she would explain that the plumbing itself wasn’t the culprit.

“I’m going to try,” he said.

Zoe’s eyes widened. “You can do that?”

“We’ll see.”

Elissa showed him the trap.

“I’ll go rent a snake,” he said. “Let’s see if that fixes the problem.”

“You don’t have to do that,” she told him, even as she thought she should keep her mouth shut. After all, Walker would get the job done a lot faster than a long argument with the service, then sitting around and waiting on a plumber.

“What’s a snake going to do?” Zoe asked. “Do you have a cage for it? I don’t like snakes.”

“It’s not a real snake,” Elissa told her daughter. “It’s the name of a special tool.”

Walker smiled. “I’ll show you when I get back.”

“Okay.” Zoe looked doubtful.

“I should have this fixed in an hour,” Walker told Elissa. “Why don’t you ladies go get lunch or something? It’s too hot to be standing outside and you don’t want to go inside with that smell.”

He had a point. Mrs. Ford already looked a little flushed.

“I’ll leave the back door open in case you need to get in the house,” Elissa said.

“Thanks.”

Five minutes later they were in a blissfully cool fast-food restaurant. As Zoe stared at the kids’ menu and tried to decide on lunch, Mrs. Ford nudged Elissa in the ribs.

“Father figure,” she mouthed.

Elissa grinned. “I know. Who can resist a man with a snake?”

THREE HOURS LATER the pipes were clear and the last of the mess had been cleaned up. Elissa had insisted that Mrs. Ford keep her afternoon movie date with her friends.

After scrubbing out the tub three times, Elissa doused the whole thing in bleach. Still, she was going to have Zoe shower for a few days, until the pipe backup cooties were all gone.

She wandered over to Mrs. Ford’s apartment where Walker stood at the sink, rinsing the old porcelain.

“You didn’t have to do the cleanup,” she said. “We’re so grateful to have drainage again. That was enough.”

“I didn’t mind,” he told her as he turned off the water. “Mrs. Ford is too old to get down on her knees and scrub out a tub and there was no reason for you to do two.”

There was no reason for him to do one. “But Walker…”

He shrugged. “I’ve cleaned worse, believe me. I’ve dug trenches for latrines. This is easy.”

“If you say so. You’re going to submit a bill for the snake to the landlord, right?”

“Oh, yeah, I’ll be sure to get reimbursed for that.”

She had a feeling he wasn’t going to bother, which made her crazy. “You shouldn’t have to pay.”

“It doesn’t matter, Elissa. I promise.”

It was the principle of the thing. But she had a feeling it was an argument she wasn’t going to win.

“Come for dinner,” she said impulsively. “It’s my small way of saying thank you. I’ll be grilling chicken and I’ve already made potato salad. There’s even strawberry shortcake for dessert.”

He raised his eyebrows. “You have rules.”

“You’re mocking me,” she said. “Zoe will be there and Mrs. Ford, which you very well know. This isn’t a date.”

“Or even sex,” he added.

She felt herself blushing. “Right. Not sex. Come on, Walker. I know you like my cooking. I don’t think you hate the company. What’s the problem?”

He didn’t speak for so long that she thought he wasn’t going to answer. Then he said, “I don’t want to be around Zoe.”

Anger and protective instinct battled for primary emotion. She narrowed her gaze. “You don’t like my daughter?” she asked in an icy tone.

“I think she’s great,” he said. “I like her a lot. I’m not the right guy to hang out with her.”

Elissa thought about how patient he’d been earlier when he’d shown Zoe the snake and explained how it worked. He’d been careful to keep her from touching the sharp blades, even as he’d let her turn on the engine.

“That doesn’t make sense,” she murmured. “Is this a soldier thing? You’re too emotionally scarred by what you’ve seen and done to deal with a child?”

“You don’t have to make it sound so movie-of-the-week.” He shrugged. “I’m not comfortable around her. I don’t want to hurt her.”

His words and his actions didn’t match. Was there something else, something he wasn’t telling her? What was it? Had he lost a child of his own? Fallen for a woman with kids only to have things go badly? There had to be an answer, but she wasn’t sure she had the right to pursue the question.

“I’ll respect your position,” she said. “If you don’t want to eat with us, will you at least come get a plate?”

“Sure. Thanks.”

He nodded at her and left. She returned to her own apartment and thought about all the guys who had tried to use Zoe to get to her. They’d failed, while Walker’s reticence made her trust him more.

For a guy who wasn’t trying to get her into bed, he was doing a damn fine job of seducing her.

WALKER STROLLED into The Waterfront about ten in the evening. The dinner crowd had thinned to just a few guests. At a round table in the back he saw Dani, Penny, Cal and Reid. They waved him over.

“Family meeting?” he asked as he approached.

Reid pulled out a chair for him. “Just a friendly gathering. I told you attendance wasn’t mandatory.”

“Hey, kid,” he said and kissed Dani on the cheek. He did the same with Penny, then took his seat. “Who’s minding the store?” he asked Reid.

His brother grinned. “I had many volunteers.”

Penny threw a napkin at Reid. “Your life is shallow.”

“But fun.”

“It’s time to settle down,” Penny told him.

“Not interested. Besides, Walker’s home now. Go find him a wife.”

Walker reached for an empty glass and the open bottle of wine on the table. “I’m good, thanks.”

“Reid, I’m serious,” Penny said. “You’ve been playing the field long enough. It’s time to pick one nice girl and make a life with her.”

“I don’t like nice girls.”

Everyone chuckled. Walker listened as the banter continued. Reid and Penny had been friends for years, even after Penny and Cal split up. He’d once confessed to Walker that he’d suspected they would get back together and he’d been right.

“How’s the restaurant business?” Walker asked his sister.

Dani jumped, as if she hadn’t been paying attention. “What? Oh. Good. I’m keeping busy. Nothing new.”

Penny smiled. “There is something new. Or someone.”

“A guy?” Walker asked.

“There’s no new guy,” Dani told him. “Just stuff.”

“Rebound guy,” Reid said. “Good for you. Hugh was an asshole. You need to be distracted.”

Dani shook her head. “You’re the last person I would take dating advice from. Your idea of a committed relationship is sticking around long enough for dessert.”

“You looking to get involved?” Cal asked, a hint of worry in his voice.

“Of course not,” Dani told him. “My divorce isn’t even final. It’s not a rebound thing, it’s just…nice.”

“Leave her alone,” Penny said.

“Why are you protecting her?” Reid asked. “You’re the one who mentioned the other guy.”

“I’ve remembered that we girls are supposed to stick together.”

“I’ll change the subject,” Reid said. “Walker’s buying a boat.”

Everyone turned to him. Cal grinned. “Really? How big? When can we go fishing?”

Walker glared at Reid. “I’m not buying a boat.”

His brother chuckled. “I know, but I distracted everyone.”

“A boat would be nice,” Dani said. “We could take day trips.”

“There’s no boat,” Walker told her firmly.

Just then a guy in a tie walked up to the table. “Sorry to interrupt,” he said. “Penny, here are the numbers on the menu changes. Everything looks good. Also, I have a couple of suggestions for the tasting dinner.”

Penny looked at him, her eyebrows raised. “I’m sorry, Ryan. Did I hear you correctly? You want to change my tasting dinner?”

“You’re trying to scare me and it’s not working.”

“Have you heard about the time I threw a meat cleaver at my husband’s head?” she asked sweetly. “Do you really want to mess with me?”

He put another piece of paper in her hands. “I found the perfect wine for the corn cakes.”

“We had the perfect wine.”

“We had one that was close. This is better.”

Penny studied the sheet. “I’ll be in tomorrow and make the corn cakes, then we’ll talk. If you’re wrong, you’re in big trouble.”

“I can handle it.”

Dani shifted in her chair. “Walker, this is Ryan Jennings, the new general manager. Ryan, this is my brother Walker.”

Ryan walked around the table and shook hands. “Pleased to meet you.”

Walker nodded. “How are you settling in?”

“Great. This is a terrific restaurant. I have a great staff, which makes all the difference. Dani is being very patient with me.”

Dani dismissed his comment with a flick of her hand. “There’s nothing to be patient about.”

Ryan excused himself.

Walker waited until he was gone before turning to his sister. “So that’s the new guy.”

She blinked several times and did her best to look innocent. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Cal and Reid both looked at him.

“Ryan?” Cal asked.

“That’s my guess,” Walker said.

Dani glared at him. “How did you know? We barely looked at each other.”

“Impressive,” Reid said.

Cal turned to his sister. “Dani, workplace romances can be difficult. Have you thought about what happens if things don’t work out?”

“There’s no thing,” she told him. “We’re flirting. That’s it. Besides, you and Penny got back together at work. In fact, it was in this restaurant. So maybe you should get off of me.”

“I’m just saying—”

“Cal, let it go,” Penny said. “Dani’s a grown-up. She knows what she’s doing.”

“State the rules up-front,” Reid said. “That’s what I do. If one of the servers wants to go out with me, I say fine, but you have to be able to handle it when it’s over.”

“‘Go out’ being a euphemism for ‘have sex with’?” Penny asked.

“I want them to know the score.”

Dani pushed away her wine. “I love you like a brother, Reid, but you’re a real pig when it comes to women.”

“I am your brother and why am I a pig? Why do all women object to the fact that I don’t want to settle down and be with one person for the rest of my life? Is it the challenge? Do you each want to be the one to change my mind?”

“Not me,” Dani said quickly. “That’s gross.”

“Not me, either,” Penny told him.

Cal and Walker grinned. “We’re not interested, either,” Cal said.

Reid shrugged. “You know what I mean. Why are you getting on me? Walker doesn’t want to settle down, either.”

“But he’s not quite so icky about the volume thing,” Penny said. “Besides, there’s hope for him. I think secretly, Walker wants to bond.”

Walker groaned. “Let’s get back to talking about Reid.”

“I agree,” Dani said. “Walker will find the right woman and fall head over heels. Reid, when you find the right woman, I’m going to guess you’ll screw it up completely.” She paused, then added. “I don’t mean that in a cruel way. It’s just you’ve never had to work for anything in your life. What happens when that changes? Are you up to the challenge?”

“I’m touched by your faith in me,” Reid grumbled.

“Don’t sweat it,” Walker told him. “We’ll be single together. The favorite uncles.”

They both made fists and banged their knuckles together.

Conversation shifted to how Penny was feeling. Walker listened but didn’t participate. Dani had some interesting theories, but she was wrong about him. He wasn’t looking to get involved in any way.

Not that he would turn Elissa down if she showed up in his bed one night. She was great. Sexy. Funny. But only in the short term. Despite being a single mother, she had “marry me” written all over her. No way he was going there. He knew better.

Cal leaned close. “Any luck on the Ashley front?” he asked in a low voice.

“None of it good. I’m more than halfway through the list.”

“You’ll find her.”

“I don’t have a choice.”

Walker was on a mission and he wouldn’t rest until it was done. Without meaning to, he thought of Ben. The kid had always been ready with a joke. No matter how bad things got, Ben found something good to talk about. Walker missed him.

He remembered the time the kid had—

The memory shifted and bent until he saw them all standing in the snow. There were no tracks into the cave. There shouldn’t have been anyone inside.

But before Walker could check, there was a yell and the sound of a bullet being chambered. Ben had plowed into him with all his strength. Walker had staggered, but hadn’t gone down. Still, it had been enough. Ben had taken the bullet….

He shook the memory away and deliberately focused on the immediate conversation. He didn’t want to think about Ben—going into the past always made him feel weak. Helpless. He’d been supposed to look out for the kid. Instead, he was the reason Ben was dead.

ELISSA GOT HOME AFTER DARK Saturday night, and considering how long it was light in the summer, that was saying something. She was exhausted but wired from her successful jewelry party.

As she climbed out of her car, she considered leaving her supplies in the trunk and unpacking them in the morning. Except tomorrow was a usual jam-packed Sunday with a million things to do. Better to drag the boxes in now.

She walked around to the rear of the car and opened the trunk. As she reached for the first box a voice spoke out of the darkness.

“Need some help?”

She was so startled, she shrieked, then spun toward the speaker.

“Stop doing that,” she said, giving Walker a shove. The man didn’t move an inch. “You scared me! Were you the stealth expert in the Marines? Don’t you know how to walk and make noise at the same time?”

“I made a lot of noise. You didn’t hear it. Do you want me to help you carry your stuff inside?”

She thought about saying no, just on general principle, but then she realized that was stupid.

“Help yourself,” she said as she stepped back. “It all goes inside.”

“What is it?” he asked as he scooped up everything in her trunk.

“Jewelry. Supplies. Remember the earrings for Randy’s sister?”

He nodded as she closed the trunk and led the way to her apartment.

“I make that sort of stuff. Earrings, necklaces, bracelets. I use semiprecious gems mostly. I can’t afford the good stuff. But I keep costs down and pay attention to trends. I used to just sell to friends or through referrals, but over this summer, I’ve started having jewelry parties. This is my third one and they’ve been really successful.”

“Good for you.”

She unlocked the front door and led the way inside. As always, Mrs. Ford had left a light on in the living room. Elissa motioned for Walker to dump everything on the kitchen table and went to check on her daughter.

Zoe was sleeping soundly. Elissa kissed her cheek and stepped back into the hall. She returned to the kitchen and closed the door between her apartment and Mrs. Ford’s.

“I do individual pieces,” she said, pulling out a bracelet. “Or sets.” She opened a box that had matching earrings, a necklace and a bracelet.

“Very nice,” he said.

She laughed. “You couldn’t be less interested. Don’t worry. I’m not offended.” She crossed to the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of white wine. “The good news is after I cash all the checks, I’ll have enough to pay you for the tire.”

“You don’t have to. Why don’t you keep the money and buy yourself a new rear tire for the other side?”

She appreciated his concern and the suggestion. “I’d like to do that, if you don’t mind keeping to our payment schedule.”

“You know I don’t.”

He was right. She suspected he wouldn’t care if she never paid him back.

She grabbed two wineglasses and led the way into the living room. As she set everything on the coffee table, she suddenly realized what she’d done. It was late, she’d gotten out wine and had assumed he would stay.

Oops.

“I, ah, just thought we’d talk,” she said. “I didn’t mean to imply or suggest that we’d…”

He raised his eyebrows. “We’d what?”

“Don’t be difficult. Do you want a glass of wine or not?”

“Are you going to make a pass at me?” he teased.

She groaned. “No.”

“Then I’ll stay.”

He took a seat while she poured them each a glass. She settled at the far end of the sofa and faced him.

“To a good day,” she said, holding out her drink.

“A good day.”

They each took a sip. She doubted he was used to drinking anything this cheap, but she refused to apologize for her choice. It fit her budget and it wasn’t too bad.

“You like color,” he said, glancing around at the living room.

“I do,” she said. “The landlord doesn’t care if I paint the walls or put up drapes.”

“Sure. You’re taking on all the costs and the labor. What’s not to like?”

“You should see Zoe’s room. It’s princess central. I painted a mural that looks like a castle. Everything is either lavender or pink. Very girly. You probably had an all blue room.”

“I think there were some green accents. But yeah, it was all boy.”

“Why did you go into the military?” she asked. “Lifelong dream?”

“I’d thought about it,” he told her. “I didn’t know if I wanted to go to college. My parents died when I was young, so my grandmother raised me. She’s a tough old bird.”

“Like Mrs. Ford.”

He looked at her. “Aside from being female and over seventy, they have nothing in common. Gloria is determined and manipulative. She wants everyone to do what she wants and she does what it takes to get that to happen. The harder she pushed me, the harder I pushed back. Some of it was her, some of it was me being a teenager. Finally I got so mad, I joined up the day after I graduated from high school.”

“To spite her?”

“Yeah. It was worth it, just to see the look on her face.”

She couldn’t imagine having that kind of relationship with her grandmother. Not that the woman was still alive, but she and Elissa had been close before she died.

“That doesn’t sound very familial,” she said, trying not to be judgmental.

“Gloria isn’t a family person. I try sometimes with her. I can’t figure out why she won’t bend. I’m close to my two brothers and my sister, though.”

Elissa had a feeling Walker wanted a better relationship with his grandmother. Now that he was out of the Marines and living nearby, maybe that would happen.

He looked at her. “What about you? Have you lived in Seattle all your life?”

“Except for a brief time in Los Angeles, yes.” She hesitated, then shrugged. “I was a typical middle-class kid. When I was a senior in high school, I fell for a guy in a band. Mitch. He was sexy and dangerous—at least in my seventeen-year-old eyes. When he left to go back to L.A., I went with him.”

“Zoe’s dad?” he asked.

“No. That would be too simple. Once I got to L.A., I realized Mitch wasn’t a rock star. He wasn’t very good. Or faithful. We split up. I was upset and humiliated and determined not to go crawling back home until I’d made something of myself. And I liked dealing with the music business. I ended up getting a job as a roadie of sorts. I arranged travel, food, that sort of thing. I was good at it.”

He smiled. “A rock star roadie. I would never have guessed. So what happened?”

She grimaced. “I met Neil. I’m still not sure why we hooked up. He’s seriously into the drug scene and I never was. I couldn’t see the point.” She sighed. “Don’t get me wrong. I partied plenty, but I’m a cheap date. Two margaritas and I’m on my butt. Anyway, Neil’s emotionally tortured, self-absorbed, and borderline abusive. Perfect for a displaced nineteen-year-old pretending to be an adult. I fell hard and he let me. When I found out I was pregnant with Zoe, I came home.”

The family-friendly version of the story, Elissa thought, but she didn’t know Walker well enough to tell him the truth. More to the point, there was no reason for him to know every last sordid detail of her past.

“What about you?” she asked quickly. “Any exotic ex-wives lurking in the background?”

“Never married,” he said. “I don’t do serious relationships. It was too difficult with my job. I was gone six to nine months a year, every year. I saw a lot of guys get left. I didn’t see the point.”

“And now?”

“Now I’m still not looking.”

“So we’re both determined to stay single,” she said.

“And not have sex.”

She smiled. “Is that your rule, too?”

“It is with you. I intend to respect your wishes.”

Damn. Just her luck to be attracted to the one man on the planet who planned to actually do as she requested.

Any other guy would have just gone for it. Honestly, what was he waiting for? It was late, they were alone, alcohol had been imbibed. She wouldn’t say no.

That was the killer, Elissa thought glumly. Walker tempted her in a way no man had. Ever. She shouldn’t be attracted to him, but she was. Despite her rules and the foolishness of getting involved with the guy living upstairs, if he suggested getting naked right that second, she would have stripped in three seconds flat. The need to feel his mouth on hers, his hands on her body, was almost painful in its intensity.

“I should go,” he said as he set down his glass and stood.

Obviously not a mind reader. “Thanks for helping me with my boxes. Let me know if you change your mind about wanting any jewelry. As a gift or something. Or if you get your ear pierced.”

She followed him to the door where he paused and smiled at her.

“Do I look like the ear-piercing type?” he asked, his voice low and sexy enough to make her shiver.

“No, but I’ve been wrong before.”

“Not about that. ’Night, Elissa.”

CHAPTER FIVE

WALKER LOOKED OVER the list of Ashleys he’d made shortly after moving into the apartment. “Damn popular name,” he muttered as he looked at those yet to be crossed off. Ben had gone to four different high schools in four years. Walker had looked ahead two grades and back three to make sure he covered as many of the women as possible.

Several of them had moved out of state. He’d gone to see a couple and had been forced to speak with two by phone. Not his first choice. He had a feeling that whomever Ben had been dating already knew he’d died, but in case she didn’t, Walker wasn’t comfortable passing that information on over the phone. Plus, he had his letter to deliver.

He needed to…

He paused and listened. There was something—

“Hello? Walker?”

He stood and walked to the front of the apartment. After opening the front door, he saw Mrs. Ford standing at the foot of his stairs. She had a dish towel wrapped around her left hand and seemed a little shaky on her feet.

“Sorry to bother you,” she said. “I can’t climb that many stairs. I seem to have cut my hand. It’s silly really. The knife just slipped and—”

He ducked back inside, grabbed his first aid kit and ran downstairs.

“Let’s get you inside,” he said, ushering the old lady into her apartment and out of the sun.

“I wouldn’t normally bother you with something like this,” she said as he took her to the sink and peeled back the towel. “But the bleeding doesn’t seem to want to stop.”

She’d gone deep, slicing the top of her hand and the base of her thumb. Through the pulsing blood, he was pretty sure he saw bone, which was never a good sign.

“You’re going to need stitches,” he said flatly and reached for the first aid kit. “Let me patch you up temporarily and then we’ll drive to the hospital.”

“I’m sorry to be a bother,” she said, barely wincing as he applied a pressure bandage. “I was watching Buffy. You know, Buffy the Vampire Slayer? Anyway, it was the episode where Buffy and Angel kiss for the first time and she finds out he’s really a vampire. So of course you understand why I wasn’t really paying attention to what I was doing.”

“Right.” He guided her to a chair and urged her to sit. “I’m going to run upstairs and grab my keys. You stay here.”

He debated calling for an ambulance, but by the time they arrived, he could be at the hospital. He wasn’t sure how much blood Mrs. Ford had lost, but she was lucid and in decent health for her age. If he kept her calm and hydrated, she should be fine.

In addition to his keys, he took a bottle of water from his refrigerator, then ran back downstairs. He found Mrs. Ford waiting by the front door, her handbag over her arm.

“You don’t believe in following directions,” he said as he helped her outside and locked her door behind them.

“Directions are for sissies.” She stared at his car. “I’ve never been in one of these before.”

He looked at her short legs and sensible shoes, then opened the passenger door, scooped her up in his arms and carefully put her on the passenger seat.

She giggled. “It’s been a long time since a man did that to me. I’d quite forgotten how much I like it.”

Great.

He loosened the top on the bottle, then lowered her seat all the way back. He clicked the seat belt in place.

“Keep your arm up on the armrest,” he told her. “It needs to stay elevated. Sip the water, but only a little at a time and stop if you feel nauseated.”

“You’re very take-charge,” she told him. “Elissa needs that in her life.”

“No thanks.”

She smiled. “I’m an old woman, Walker. How exactly do you plan to stop me from matchmaking?”

Good question.

He closed her door and hurried around to his own. Minutes later, they were on the main street and heading toward the hospital.

“Do you have a cell phone?” Mrs. Walker asked.

“Sure.” He pushed the activation number on his steering wheel. “Who do you want me to call?”

He expected her to say a relative, or her doctor. Instead she said, “My reading group. They’ll be expecting me. Oh, dear. It was my turn to bring wine.”

He held in a groan, then asked for the number. “I’ll put you on speakerphone,” he said.

The sound of a phone ringing filled the vehicle.

“Very impressive,” Mrs. Ford said.

A woman answered. “Hello?”

“Phyllis?”

“Betty? Is that you? Your voice sounds strange.”

“I’m calling from a car. You’re on speakerphone. Isn’t this exciting? So high-tech.” Mrs. Ford giggled. “I’m afraid I won’t make it to book club today. I’ve cut my hand.”

“Betty, no. Are you all right?”

“Walker said I need stitches, so we’re off to the hospital.”

“Hospital?”

“I’ll be fine,” Mrs. Ford assured her.

“I hope so. Is that Walker person there with you?”

“He’s driving the car.”

“I’m here, ma’am,” Walker said, holding in a sigh.

“Are you taking good care of…Betty, did you say Walker?”

Mrs. Ford smiled. “Yes. My new upstairs neighbor.”

“The one as good-looking as Angel?”

“That’s him.”

“Just kill me now,” Walker muttered under his breath.

THREE HOURS, several stitches and some fairly strong pain medication later, Mrs. Ford was released from the emergency room. Walker drove home slowly, trying not to jar the old woman’s swollen hand. Then he wondered if he should bother. In her current condition, he doubted she would notice.

“The doctor was very nice,” she said with a sigh. “And a woman. Pretty. Did you notice?”

“Not really.”

“Is that because of Elissa? I think it’s very sweet. She’s a good girl. So caring and hardworking. She needs a man, you know. Not just to take care of her, but in her bed. A woman can only go without for so long. It’s fine at my age. I don’t expect to get lucky. But Elissa is so young.”

He couldn’t believe they were having this conversation. He’d thought the comment about him looking like some damn TV character was the real low point of the day, but he’d been wrong.

“We’re here,” he said, perhaps with more relief than necessary as he pulled into the driveway of the apartment building.

Elissa rushed out and opened the passenger door. “Are you all right?” she asked Mrs. Ford, then looked at him. “Is she all right?”

He’d phoned her from the hospital to let her know what was going on. Ironic how he’d moved to this apartment in this neighborhood where he didn’t know anyone so he could live quietly and anonymously. So far that wasn’t happening.

“She’s good,” he said. “Loopy from the pain medication, but otherwise fine.”

“I have stitches,” the old woman announced. “And the doctor was very pretty, but Walker didn’t even look at her. He only has eyes for you.”

“How thrilling,” Elissa said. “Let me help you inside.”

“I’ll carry her,” Walker said. “Take her purse and open the door.”

She did as he asked. He picked up Mrs. Ford and started toward the apartment.

“At least you don’t have to lug me upstairs,” she cackled.

“That wouldn’t be a problem,” he said. He doubted she weighed eighty pounds.

Elissa hovered by the door. “I’ve already turned back her bed. She’ll need to rest. Just put her there. We can get her changed later.”

He was going to assume the “we” on the table was her and Zoe, because he had lines he wasn’t willing to cross.

Once Mrs. Ford was in bed, Elissa sat on the edge of the mattress and smoothed back her white hair. “You scared me.”

“I’m fine, dear. It was all my fault. I wasn’t paying attention.” She yawned. “Oh, goodness. It must be that pain medication. I so rarely nap.”

But her eyes were already closing.

“Want me to put on the television?” Elissa asked.

“That would be nice. Maybe QVC. There’s a jewelry showcase this week.”

Elissa found the channel, then eased out of the room.

“What happened?” she asked Walker when they were back in her kitchen. He could hear the sound of a video in the background and guessed it was on to entertain Zoe.

“She said she was watching TV and cut herself. The cut was deep so I took her in for stitches.” He pulled out the prescription bottle from his shirt pocket. “These are painkillers. She’ll need to eat when she takes them so she doesn’t get sick to her stomach. And she’ll need to make an appointment with her regular doctor to get the stitches out in about ten days. The good news is the cut is on her left hand and she’s right-handed. She’ll still be able to do things.”

Elissa leaned against the counter. “I’m grateful you were here. If you hadn’t been…”

“She would have called 911.”

“I’d like to think so, but she’s so independent.” Elissa touched his arm. “I don’t know how to thank you.”

“Thanking me isn’t your job.”

“Not many people would have bothered.”

“I don’t know many who would have let an old woman bleed to death.”

“You know what I mean. You’ve been great and you didn’t have to be.” She smiled. “I still think it’s a surprise you’re not married. There had to have been women.”

“Why are we talking about this?”

“We don’t have to if you don’t want to. Is it a commitment issue?”

He groaned. “Elissa, let it go. You told me you didn’t want to have sex with me and I believed you. So you should believe me. I’m very content being alone. Don’t try to save me. I’m not worth it.”

“Of course you are, but it’s interesting that you don’t believe it. Besides, no one really wants to be alone.”

“Using your argument I could say no one really wants to go without sex.”

“I’m trying to make smart choices.”

Too bad she wasn’t trying to drive him crazy because then this conversation would be a big win for her.

“So am I,” he said.

“Fine. Dinner is in two hours. I’ll be taking care of Mrs. Ford, so you’ll have to come get your meal instead of me delivering it. Want me to pound on the floor when it’s ready?” she asked with a grin.

“Sure. Or you could just call.”

“Far less interesting, but okay.”

He started to leave, then paused. “I didn’t know who else to phone,” he said. “For Mrs. Ford. Family. When she didn’t suggest anyone, I didn’t want to pry.”

“There isn’t anyone else,” Elissa said with a sigh. “She lost both her sons in the Korean War. Her only grandson died in Vietnam. All her brothers and sisters are already gone. She’s all alone in the world.”

“No. She has you and Zoe.”

“You’re right. We’re each other’s family.”

He nodded and left. But as he climbed the stairs, he wondered about Elissa’s family. She’d mentioned growing up in the area. Where were her parents, siblings, aunts and uncles? Was she as alone as Mrs. Ford or did she have people who cared about her? And if she did, why weren’t they the ones watching out for her?

ELISSA KNEW IT WAS TACKY and even borderline embarrassing. Only someone really desperate would let her five-year-old daughter manipulate the situation. But here she was, being that person.

“I put out the napkins with flowers, Mommy,” Zoe said as she stood back and admired the table. “They’re pretty.”

“I agree.”

Elissa took in the three place settings. Three because when Elissa had explained that Mrs. Ford wouldn’t be joining them that night, Zoe had said Walker could have her place. Now if he wanted to explain to Zoe why he couldn’t make it, that was fine. But Elissa was willing to bet he couldn’t.

She’d already delivered a light dinner of soup and toast to her elderly neighbor. Mrs. Ford had eaten a few bites, then gone back to sleep. Elissa made a mental note to check on her in a couple of hours. In the meantime, she had another neighbor to deal with.

There was a knock at the door. “I’ll get it,” Zoe called as she ran to the front of the house. “Hi, Walker. Mommy made spaghetti, ’cause it’s my favorite. There’s a really big salad, too. But not with onions. I don’t like onions. Are you hungry? We have brownies for dessert. I frosted them all by myself and I made a design. It’s supposed to be bows, but it kinda doesn’t look like bows. That’s why I’m telling you what it is, so you’ll know.”

They walked into the kitchen with Zoe dragging an obviously reluctant Walker behind her.

“You’ll sit here,” Zoe said, pointing to a chair. “Mrs. Ford is still sleeping, but that’s okay ’cause now we have you.”

She smiled winningly. He shot Elissa a trapped look, which she ignored.

“Did you wash your hands?” she asked her daughter. “Dinner is ready.”

“Okay.” Zoe raced toward the bathroom. “Walker, come on. You have to wash your hands.”

He chose not to follow her to the bathroom. Instead he moved close to Elissa and said in a quiet voice, “Pretty low, Towers, using your kid against me.”

She held in a smile. “‘Using’ is such a strong word. Zoe’s been curious about you. I know you’re concerned about her bonding or whatever, but she sees you practically every day. One dinner isn’t going to scar her for life. I’m trying to say thank you, here.”

“It doesn’t occur to you to thank me by adhering to my wishes?” he asked.

“Not really.”

“What if I ignored yours?”

His dark eyes claimed hers as she recalled vehemently stating she did not want to have sex with him. What if he ignored her wishes and made a pass at her?

She should be so lucky.

“I’m ready, Mommy,” Zoe said as she bounced back in the room.

The next few minutes were a scramble of getting food to the table, drinks poured and seats taken. Once everyone had been served, Zoe leaned toward Walker and smiled.

“Do you have any kids?” she asked.

“No.”

“Do you like kids? Some grown-ups don’t. Do you?”

“They’re fine.”

“Do you like The Lion King? I love Simba and Pumba the best. Mommy took to me to see the play.” Her hazel eyes widened. “It was in a theater and I’d never been to a theater before. There were people playing the animals. It wasn’t like the cartoon. It was magic and there was singing.”

Elissa stepped in to give their guest a break. “It was Zoe’s birthday present. She’d talked about wanting to see the play and when the touring company came here, it seemed like the perfect opportunity.”

“Have you seen the play?” Zoe asked.

“No,” Walker told her.

“You should go. It’s magic.”

“So you said.”

“Eat, honey,” Elissa urged, feeling a little guilty for trapping Walker into dinner.

“Okay.” Zoe took a bite of her spaghetti. She chewed, then looked at Walker again. “Do you have any pets? We want to get a dog, but we’re not home very much. Mommy says a dog needs a lot of attention. We could get a cat….” Her voice trailed off.

“We’re not really cat people,” Elissa told him. “I know their independence is supposed to be noble and all that, but if I’m buying the food, I want a little gratitude from my animals.”

“I’m scared of the claws,” Zoe whispered.

“A girl in her class got scratched up pretty badly. She’d been teasing the cat, so it was sort of her fault,” Elissa said. “But it looked awful and it had to hurt. How’s dinner?”

He paused in the act of tearing off a piece of garlic bread. “Good.”

He seemed to be inhaling his food. She wanted to tease him about going for the land speed record in eating, but knew that wasn’t fair. She’d put him in an uncomfortable situation. Not a great way to thank him, despite what she’d said earlier.

Why had she messed with the status quo? Why him? Why now?

“I’m sorry,” she said, aware of Zoe listening. “For, well, you know. I shouldn’t have done it.”

“Why did you?”

“I don’t know. I thought it would be nice. I thought we could be friends.”

Zoe stared at him. “Don’t you like Mommy?”

What had been charming a few seconds ago suddenly became uncomfortable. She regretted allowing Zoe to guilt him into staying for dinner. “Zoe, don’t ask questions like that. Walker has been very good to us and to Mrs. Ford. We’re grateful for that, but we don’t want to keep him too long.”

Walker felt like shit. He’d been surprised by the manipulated circumstances, but not offended or angry. He hadn’t meant to make Elissa feel bad.

“It’s okay,” he said, putting down his fork. “Everything is really good.” He glanced at Zoe, who watched him warily. “Yes, Zoe, I do like your mother. She’s a very caring person and she knows how to cook. I’m looking forward to the brownies you frosted.”

Elissa shook her head. “You don’t have to—”

“I want to.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Now you’re reading my mind?”

“Walker.”

He wasn’t sure why he was doing this. The easiest thing in the world would be to walk away. To take the escape she offered and go back upstairs. Only he hated the darkness he saw in her eyes and he wanted to listen to Zoe chatter about The Lion King or her friends or dogs. He didn’t have much normality in his life and he appreciated the chance to experience it, even from a distance.

“Let it go,” he told Elissa. “Eat your dinner.”

She hesitated, then nodded. “All right. Thank you.”

Walker turned to Zoe. “Tell me more about the play. What did the people wear?”

TWO HOURS LATER WALKER stood and stretched. “It was a good story,” he said.

Elissa smiled at him. “I can’t believe you were willing to sit through The Lion King.”

He glanced at the sleeping child curled up on the sofa. “I’m sorry she didn’t get to see the end.”

“This was only her four billionth time,” Elissa said, aware of the quiet of the evening and the closeness of the man.

“Want me to carry her to bed?” he asked.

“You’ve done enough of that for one day,” she told him. “I can manage.”

“Okay.”

She followed him to the door. Once there, she drew in a breath. “I’m sorry about what happened. I shouldn’t have used Zoe to coerce you like that.”

“Do you really think I’m not strong enough to resist a five-year-old?”

“She’s pretty adorable.”

“I agree, but I’m a big, bad Marine. At least I was.”

He might be big, but there was nothing bad about him. As far as she could tell, he was one of the good guys.

And she wanted him. Oh, sure, there were a lot of reasons why that was a mistake, but they didn’t erase the truth. Her knees trembled at the thought of his body against hers and she knew that if he didn’t at least kiss her, she wouldn’t be able to sleep for hours. Of course if he did kiss her, she wouldn’t be getting much sleep, either.

She could feel her body swelling, readying and nothing had happened. What would happen if he ever did touch her?

Apparently, she wasn’t going to find out anytime soon.

He smiled, thanked her for dinner and stepped out into the night. She stood by the open door and listened to him climb the stairs.

“Be careful what you wish for,” she told herself as she closed the door. “You just might get it.”

THE BEST PART of Elissa’s day was seeing her daughter when she got home from work. A very close second to that was taking off her very sensible shoes and wiggling her bare toes on the area rug in her bedroom.

It was still warm, so she didn’t bother with shoes. Instead she tossed her uniform into the dirty clothes basket and pulled on shorts and a T-shirt. An especially generous table of eight had given her an extra fifteen dollars for the day. A sensible person would put it into an emergency fund, but Elissa was seriously considering a special splurge on takeout.

Maybe she and Zoe could go to the mall and wander around for a while. She could get ideas for fall fashions for herself and her daughter and they could eat at the food court. It was Friday. Maybe they could even take in a movie.

She glanced at her small clock radio. It was nearly three. Zoe was playing at a friend’s house until four, when Elissa was supposed to pick her up. They would go to the mall, she decided. It would be a fun treat.

That decided, she walked into the kitchen and got a glass of water. Between now and four she could start on her next—

Someone knocked on the door.

Elissa’s heart did a little “let it be Walker” shimmy, which was very annoying. He’d made it more than clear he wasn’t interested in her in that way. Maybe he was and he was only doing what she’d asked, which meant she only had herself to blame. Not that there was any way to really find out.

She crossed to the door and opened it. But instead of Walker, there was a well-dressed older woman standing on her small porch.

“Elissa Towers?” the woman asked.

“Yes.”

“Good. Invite me in, please.”

Elissa blinked. “I don’t know you.”

“I’m Gloria Buchanan and you know my grandson. Invite me in.”

The combination of the woman’s imperious tone and her relationship with Walker caused Elissa to do as she’d ordered. She stepped back and allowed the other woman to enter.

Gloria Buchanan was about Elissa’s height, very thin and erect. Her tailored dress screamed designer and the cost of her shoes would not only replace all of Elissa’s tires, but probably the transmission, as well.

Gloria stepped into the living room and slowly looked the place over. Elissa refused to flinch as her gaze lingered on the worn sofa or the mess on the craft table in the alcove. This was Elissa’s home and if the old woman didn’t like it, she could leave.

“You live here?” Gloria asked, her voice indicating her disbelief that such a thing was possible.

Right up until that moment, Elissa had been planning to offer her a seat and something to drink, but now she wasn’t so sure.

“You already know the answer to that question,” she said instead.

“You’re right. I do. I know many things, but I’m wondering if I can say the same about you. Say, for instance, about my grandson. He is a wealthy and important man. He is going to be taking over the family business very soon.”

The wealthy and important didn’t surprise her, but the business part did. “He hasn’t mentioned it.”

“Why would he discuss such a thing with you?” Gloria asked.

She ignored that. “What’s your point?”

“You are in over your head, Ms. Towers. Far over your head. Do you know who I am?”

Elissa suspected she meant more than just being Walker’s grandmother. “You’re dying to tell me, so go ahead. I don’t mind listening.”

“I am the reason our family is as successful as it is. I have single-handedly grown our four restaurants into—”

“Restaurants?” Buchanan? Buchanan’s the steak place? She’d heard of it, but never eaten there. She would need the cash value of the old bag’s shoes for that.

“We have four establishments,” Gloria said smugly. “Walker was born to money. Something you were not.”

“You’re stating the obvious,” Elissa said, both confused and annoyed. “Would you get to the point of your visit?”

“I want you out of his life.”

Elissa hadn’t known what to expect, but it wasn’t that. “Are you crazy? You want me out of his life? This isn’t 1890. You don’t get to dictate who your grandson is friends with. Besides, how did you even know I’m friends with Walker?”

“That is not important. What does matter is who and what you are. Do you think I want a former drug-using groupie in my family? Does he know, Ms. Towers? Have you told him how you slept around? How you slept with men to get jobs?”

Elissa held in a gasp of shock. How the hell had Gloria found all that out? “I never used drugs. As for the rest of it, no one cares.”

“A lot of people care. A lot of people would be interested in knowing your daughter’s father isn’t dead. He’s alive and as addicted as ever. I understand he gets in touch with you from time to time, asking for money. Wouldn’t your life be awful if he wanted custody of his daughter? The child you stole from him?”

How had Walker’s grandmother found out Elissa had told everyone, including Zoe, that Neil was dead? How did the old woman know about the money?

Elissa took a step back. She could handle her past coming back to haunt her, but no one threatened Zoe’s safety. “Get out.”

“Not yet. I have more to say. You will avoid my grandson at all costs. You will refuse to have contact with him. Do you understand me?”

This wasn’t happening, Elissa thought grimly. It couldn’t be. Her life was normal, boring even.

“I have a lot of friends in the community,” Gloria continued. “Good friends. Mr. Frank Church, for example. A very charitable man. He and I serve on several committees together. I believe he owns the restaurant where you work.”

Elissa felt hollow and more frightened than she’d ever been before. Frank was a big supporter of several local charities. He was on the board of two. He could easily know Gloria.

“If you don’t get out of Walker’s life, I’ll have Frank fire you,” the old woman said calmly. “I’ll enjoy doing it, as well.” She paused and looked at the craft table. “Tell me, Elissa. Does your landlord know you’re running a business out of your apartment? I’m sure you’re aware it’s a violation of your lease.”

This wasn’t happening, Elissa told herself. There was no way this woman was threatening her livelihood and where she lived.

“I don’t believe you,” she said. “Not any of it.”

Gloria’s gaze turned icy. “Do not stand against me. I will crush you like the bug you are. Walker will be moving soon. Until he does, stay away from him. If you don’t, I will destroy you and I will destroy your child. Do I make myself clear?”

CHAPTER SIX

WALKER ARRIVED HOME shortly after five. He saw that Elissa’s car wasn’t parked in the driveway, then cursed himself for noticing.

He knew better than to get involved with her. He knew it wasn’t right. He’d picked this place because he didn’t know anyone in the neighborhood, but that hadn’t been enough. He’d gone and gotten involved—which still surprised the hell out of him.

As he climbed the stairs, he found himself wishing she were home, that she would stick her head out and think up an excuse to have him in for dinner. He wanted it to be good enough that he couldn’t say no, even though he knew he was playing a dangerous game.

He saw something on his front door. An envelope. He didn’t recognize the writing, but he had a feeling he knew who had left it.

Anticipation in the form of wanting filled him. A need to touch and be touched, to claim, to give and take. He already knew her scent and the way she moved. Now he wanted to know her taste, her sound, her uniqueness.

He stepped into his apartment, then opened the envelope. Three ten-dollar bills fluttered to the floor. He unfolded the note.

Thanks for all your help, Walker. Here’s the rest of what I owe you. You’ve been great and I appreciate that, but we both know this isn’t going anywhere. You’re right to worry about Zoe—she’s very impressionable. So let’s part as friends and get back to our lives. Best, Elissa.

He read the words twice, confident he’d misunderstood. But the message was clear. She wanted him out of her life.

He accepted her decision. It was the right one—he’d known there would never be anything between them. Somehow she’d figured it out, too. It was better this way—better for everyone.

And yet…There was a nagging knot of worry in his gut. Something that told him Elissa wasn’t all right. Something that made him want to find her and talk to her.

Two nights ago, she’d been female temptation incarnate and he’d come damn close to giving in. What had changed?

He looked out his front window at the empty driveway. Elissa and Zoe were usually home in the late afternoon. Why weren’t they today? And if he couldn’t find her, how could he make things right?

“I CAN’T BELIEVE the old bitch threatened you,” Mindy said as she poured them both more wine.

“Me, either.” Elissa curled up in a corner of her friend’s sofa and willed the fear to go away. “I hate how she frightened me. I hate how I believe her.”

Mindy looked worried. “I think you have to. You saw it,” she said, nodding at the computer where Zoe was currently entranced by a children’s interactive Web site.

Elissa had seen it. All of it. A quick Google of Gloria Buchanan had given her more information than she’d ever wanted. The old cow had a reputation for being ruthless and determined. There had been dozens of articles about her and very few of them had been flattering. She was a rich, powerful woman who generally got her way. Just as scary, she really was on some big committee with Frank. There had even been a picture of the two of them together.

“I don’t want to lose my job,” Elissa said, careful to keep her voice low. “I need the money and the benefits. I love the hours.”

“Frank isn’t going to fire you. Even if Gloria asked him to, he’s not that kind of guy.”

Elissa wanted to believe that, but she just wasn’t sure. Her once relatively stable little world had tilted off its axis.

“Thanks for taking us in,” she told her friend. “I need some time to think.”

Mindy smiled. “Stay as long as you like. You know I love you guys.”

“We love you, too.”

Zoe thought this was all a great adventure. Mindy had a second bedroom with a daybed and a trundle. Zoe loved the roll-out bed so close to the ground, and Elissa liked them being in the same room. Right now she wanted to keep her daughter nearby.

“I have to go home eventually,” she murmured.

“You could stay here,” Mindy suggested. “Just for a couple of months. Save your rent money until you have enough to get another place.”

“A generous and tempting offer,” Elissa replied, almost wishing she could take her up on it. “But I have a lease. And who is Gloria Buchanan to scare me out of my home? She doesn’t have the right. I haven’t done anything wrong. It’s not like I’ve been trying to trap her precious grandson. I haven’t even…” She glanced at Zoe and lowered her voice. “You know.”

Mindy grinned. “But not doing ‘you know’ doesn’t mean you haven’t been thinking about it.”

She sighed. “I’ll admit it. I was getting to the point where I would have broken all my rules for one night of ‘you know.’”

“I met the man. I’m not surprised.”

“I am. I know better. Getting involved isn’t an option.”

“It isn’t now,” Mindy said.

Elissa sipped her wine. “I hate being afraid. I hate it. I thought I was done with that.”

“You’ll feel better in time,” her friend told her. “You have to look at the bright side. Who’d want to get involved with a guy with such a crazy grandmother?”

“Tell me about it. I found out, it’s over and no one is hurt.”

Elissa said the words as if she meant them and she was reasonably confident that in time they would be true. But right now, she missed Walker. She wanted to talk to him about what had happened and hear him tell her it would be all right.

He was gone, she told herself firmly. Gone for good. She’d gotten off cheap and had been taught, yet again, that men were only bad news for her.

“I’M SORRY,” the woman said as she handed back the picture. “I’m sure your friend was a very nice man, but I didn’t know him.”

“Thanks for taking the time,” Walker responded as yet another Ashley closed the door in his face.

He was running out of names. He had never considered that he might not find her, that he might not have someone to deliver the letter to.

He climbed into his SUV and reminded himself that failure was not an option. Ben deserved to have someone mourn him. He deserved to be a part of a family. He wasn’t going to give up.

He had a few more names, a few more chances. She had to be out there. She had to….

He leaned back in the leather seat and closed his eyes. He missed Elissa. He wasn’t supposed to. He wasn’t going to get involved, but he missed her. Somehow over the past few weeks, she’d found her way inside of him. He was used to hearing her laughter through the open windows, discussing various options for dinner, thinking up ways to make her life easier without her finding out it was him doing it. And now she was gone.

She hadn’t been back at her apartment in nearly five days. He’d driven to Eggs ’n’ Stuff to check on her. He hadn’t gone in, because if she wanted to talk to him, she knew where to find him. So he’d parked where he could see inside and she’d been at work. On the surface, everything had looked fine. So why was she avoiding both him and her home?

He was torn between demanding an answer and adhering to her wishes. Wishes that he knew made sense for both of them. Still, he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong.

If she wasn’t home tonight, he would call and leave a message. Ask her to get in touch with him, just so he could know that she was all right. He would make it clear that he respected her stance and wasn’t trying to change her mind.

Which was all bullshit, he thought. The longer she was gone, the more he missed her. When had he allowed himself to get so damn soft?

He pulled into the driveway. His gut tightened when he saw her car still missing, then the tension eased as Zoe opened the front door of her apartment and ran outside.

“Walker, Walker, we’re back. Did you miss us? We stayed with Mindy, who has this bed on the floor and I got to sleep there.”

Zoe’s blond ponytail flopped as she ran toward him. He stepped out of his SUV and smiled at her. “You’ve been gone, huh?”

She put her tiny hands on her skinny hips and pursed her lips. “You know you missed us.”

Her words hit home.

“We missed you, too,” she said, before he could think up a reply. “I didn’t have preschool today, so Mommy left me with Mrs. Ford. She’s still at work. And last night at Mindy’s she made me jeans. Come see.”

She grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the apartment. Or at least she tried. Walker stayed put.

“Your mom wouldn’t be comfortable having me in her house while she’s gone,” he said. She’d made that clear in her note.

Zoe continued to tug. “Mommy likes you. She cooks you dinner and she makes pie. Come see! Come see!”

Her hand is so small, he thought. She gripped him with a combination of determination and trust. He knew going inside was wrong, but he couldn’t figure out a way to explain the situation to a five-year-old. Especially one as determined as Zoe.

“Just for a minute,” he said, allowing her to drag him into the apartment.

Everything was as he remembered. The bright colors on the walls, the comfy, worn furniture, the library books scattered on the coffee table. The lingering scent of cooking was gone, replaced by musty disuse. The house had been closed up for nearly a week.

“Over here,” Zoe said, pulling him along to the simple worktable in the tiny alcove by the living room.

Next to a sewing machine were a tiny folded pair of jeans. Zoe let go of him long enough to hold them up for him to see. He looked closely.

A fabric butterfly had been sewn just above the knee on one side. There was a sewn trail leading down the leg to the hem. She turned the jeans over and there was another butterfly on one pocket.

“Look!” Zoe said, pointing to a small white T-shirt hanging on a hook. A matching butterfly decorated the bottom and one sleeve.

“Very nice,” he said, not sure what he was looking for.

“They’re so pretty.” Zoe’s voice was reverent. “I have all new clothes for school. Mommy made a lot of them, or she bought stuff at Wal-Mart. I even have new shoes. Want to see?”

“Sure.”

Zoe ran toward her bedroom. She returned seconds later with pink athletic shoes.

“Pretty,” he told her. “Just like you.”

She beamed. “I have a backpack, too. And pencils and paper. I’m learning to write my letters. I know most of ’em from Mommy helping me read, but now I’m writing them. And…” She paused to add the right drama to the announcement. “Mommy said we’re asking Santa for a computer for Christmas.”

He wondered how many hours of jewelry making and selling a computer would cost Elissa. She’d only just gotten a new rear tire to match the one he’d bought. He knew prices had come down, but she would have to save for months. It was already late August.

He knew buying one for her was out of the question. She’d already made it clear she didn’t want anything to do with him. She’d had a fit over a fifty-dollar tire. She’d kill him in his sleep if he bought her a computer.

But he wanted to. He wanted to step in and make her life easier. The money meant nothing to him.

“Are you a handsome prince?” Zoe asked.

Walker stared at her. “What?”

“There’s always a handsome prince,” she told him. “In the stories. I asked Mommy when we’re getting ours, but she says they’re not real.” She glanced around, then lowered her voice. “I think she’s wrong. I think they are real. You’re nice and you used to be a soldier. That’s almost a prince.”

Without meaning to, he could suddenly see through Zoe. Behind her were his men and behind them, a tank. He’d seen this before, the overlaid images, and he’d learned to ignore them until they went away.

The need to run nearly overwhelmed him. Damn, he had to stay away from this kid. Elissa was right to break things off. A prince? Him?

“I’m not a prince,” he said.

“I think maybe you’re selling yourself a little short.”

He turned and saw Mrs. Ford standing in the entrance to the kitchen.

“Hello, Walker,” she said.

“Ma’am. How are you feeling?”

She held up her left hand. There was a small bandage covering the cut. “Better than the last time you saw me.”

“Buffy and Angel work things out?”

She laughed. “They’re trying. Thank you for asking.”

He shifted uncomfortably. “I didn’t mean to come in. Zoe wanted to show me her new clothes.”

Zoe nodded vigorously.

“I’m sure she did,” the older woman said. “You, of course, wouldn’t want to refuse her.”

He shrugged. “I know Elissa would have preferred…” He hesitated, not sure what to say in front of the kid.

“Things have gotten complicated,” Mrs. Ford said. “She told you?”

“She left me a note saying we were…” He looked at Zoe again. “I understand. She’s busy and has her own life.”

“Ah, so that was the explanation.”

He didn’t like the sound of that. “Meaning?”

“You’re a resourceful man, Walker. You figure it out.”

What? “Figure what out? Did something happen?”

“I don’t know.” Mrs. Ford touched Zoe’s head. “Why don’t you put your new shoes away, dear? You want them to be perfect for your first day of school.”

“Okay. Then do you want to have mac and cheese for lunch?”

“I would love that.”

Zoe took off down the hallway. Mrs. Ford turned back to him. “Elissa is scared. I’ve seen her worried, tired, concerned, but never afraid, and I don’t like it.”

He didn’t like it either.

“Who or what scared her?” Mrs. Ford asked. “She won’t tell me. But about a week ago, a stranger came calling. An older woman.” She paused. “I loathe that term, older. However, she was. A few years younger than me. Very beautifully dressed, and her car—it was lovely.”

Walker went cold, then he got mad. “Silver? A Jag?”

“I’m not familiar with car types, but yes, it was silver.” Her gaze narrowed. “You know her?”

“I have a good idea who she is.”

Zoe ran back into the living room. “I put them away.”

“Good for you,” Mrs. Ford said. She looked at Walker. “Can you fix this?”

“Absolutely.”

ELISSA PACED the length of her kitchen. The living room was bigger and therefore more satisfying in the pacing department, but Zoe was playing and Elissa didn’t want to upset her by appearing agitated.

Still, she couldn’t help wanting to scream her frustration. She’d only moved back that morning, taking a quick break between breakfast and lunch to move her stuff back from Mindy’s house. Zoe had been in the house less than five hours before she’d invited Walker in.

Her daughter had told her all about his visit. How he’d admired her new clothes and shoes and had told her she was pretty. Even if Elissa managed to inoculate herself against his casual charm, Zoe was falling hard and fast.

Under normal circumstances, that would have been enough reason for worry, but with the threat of job loss or eviction hanging over her head, the pressure was really on.

Mindy thought Elissa should come clean, just tell him what had happened and get his take on things. It was sound advice, rational even. But what if he didn’t believe her? Walker might claim a troubled relationship with his grandmother, but Gloria Buchanan was family. When push came to shove, Elissa knew who he would side with. He hadn’t known Elissa long enough to trust her. If Gloria denied everything, then Elissa was totally screwed and right now she didn’t need the pressure.

Still, she had to do something. While Mindy’s offer of moving in with her had been sweet, it was impossible. She, Elissa, could stay away from Walker, but how did she explain to her daughter not to talk to their nice neighbor anymore?

“I hate this,” Elissa muttered. “I hate all of it.” The fear, the uncertainty, the pressure of having other people control her life.

The phone rang. Elissa hesitated. Was it Walker? He’d already left a message saying he wanted to talk. What was she supposed to say to him? The truth? Some form of it? Nothing?

She chose to be cowardly and let the machine pick up. But a familiar “Hey, babe” had her lunging for the receiver before Zoe heard any more of the caller’s message.

“Hello,” she gasped.

“Elissa. You’re there.”

She clutched the phone as tightly as she could and turned her back to the living room. “How did you get this number, Neil?”

He laughed. “I have my ways, babe. You know that. Long time, no talk. How’s it going?”

How was it going? Her life was a disaster. Hearing from him was the last thing she needed. “I don’t have any money.”

Neil sighed heavily. “You always say that, but you manage to find some anyway. The thing is, Elissa, this is different. I want to get clean.”

She rolled her eyes. How many times had she heard that before? “Good for you.”

“It’s for the music. I can’t write anymore. Not with this shit screwing up my head. So I’m going into rehab. I thought I’d come see you first, though.”

Fear clutched her chest and dug in sharp, heavy claws. “I don’t want to see you. Don’t come here.”

“You can’t stop me, babe. I don’t say that to threaten you, but because it’s true.”

Then why did it feel like a threat?

“How’s the kid?” he asked when she didn’t respond. “Don’t forget, she’s mine, too. I’ve been real good about letting you keep her, but that could all change, Elissa.”

She wanted to scream. When she’d found out she was pregnant, Neil had insisted she get an abortion. She’d refused, he’d beaten the crap out of her, then gone out to party. She’d escaped, taking only what she could carry.

“Stop calling, Neil,” she said quietly. “There’s no money and you’ll never get my child. No court would ever allow you to even see her. You’ve never cared and you don’t care now.”

She hung up, then quickly put the receiver on the table so he couldn’t call back.

They’d played this scenario out countless times before. Sometimes he made good on his threat and showed up in Seattle, and sometimes he didn’t. She never knew which it was going to be. All she knew for sure was that he would never get his hands on Zoe. She would do anything to protect her daughter. She would run. She would disappear. She would even kill Neil if she had to.

WALKER STRODE into his grandmother’s office. He’d always hated the white-on-white decor. Even as a child, he felt the place was cold and hungry. Like a giant white moth, waiting to swallow the unwary.

“Walker,” Gloria Buchanan said as she rose from behind her large gilded desk. “How lovely to see you. I was going to make an appointment for you to stop by and here you are, all on your own.”

She smiled welcomingly and held out her arms, as if expecting them to embrace. He kept his distance.

Her smile never wavered. “I wanted to talk about you joining the company. Now that you’ve finally realized you never belonged in the Marines, you can take your place here. There’s so much work to be done. Our most recent president quit. I don’t understand what it is about businessmen today. None of them have any staying power.” She sighed as she led the way to the sofas in the corner. “I’m getting older, Walker. I won’t be able to run things forever.”

He continued to stand in the center of the room. She perched on the edge of the sofa and raised her thin eyebrows.

“You’re not going to join me?”

“No,” he said flatly. “I’m not here to have a polite conversation.”

“If we’re going to talk about your future—”

“We’re not,” he said, interrupting. “I have no future here. I don’t give a damn about you or the restaurants. There’s nothing you can say or do to get me to work here for thirty seconds.”

She looked more bored than intimidated. “You’re being dramatic.”

He ignored that. “I’m not here because of my future. I’m here because of Elissa.”

Gloria didn’t pretend not to know what he was talking about. Instead she stood and glared at him. “I don’t know what that little bitch has been saying—”

“Nothing,” he said, cutting her off. “I haven’t spoken to her. I’m here to talk to you.”

He walked toward the sofa until he stood in front of his grandmother. “You’re going to tell me exactly what you said and how you threatened her. Every single word.”

He had to give the old bat points—she didn’t flinch. “I will not speak with you looming over me. I am not a new recruit, Walker. You can’t frighten me.”

Which was a shame, he thought. She could use a good shaking up.

He took a step back and folded his arms across his chest. “What did you say to her?”

Gloria sank back onto the sofa and leaned against the white cushions. Her pale yellow suit provided the only spot of color in the room.

“I agree that she’s pretty,” Gloria said. “In a common sort of way. I would have thought she’d look harder, what with her background.”

Walker knew his grandmother well enough to guess she’d gone digging into Elissa’s past. She knew so much about her grandchildren, he’d long ago decided that she had them followed. Which would explain how she found out about Elissa.

He didn’t bother telling Gloria that there wasn’t anything about his neighbor that could shock him. He’d been to war—what could Elissa have done to come close to his sins?

“She traveled with rock bands,” Gloria said with relish. “Apparently she slept with various men to get jobs, or just because. I wasn’t clear on that. Her child’s father is a known drug addict whom she supports.” She stood. “Her own parents have refused to have anything to do with her for years. Is that what you want? A drug-using groupie and her bastard daughter?”

He smiled. “That’s the best you could do? I expected a lot more. So she slept around when she was young? I know who she is now.”

“You see what you want to see. Do you have any idea what your money would do for her? How it would change her life?”

He did. The problem was Elissa wasn’t interested in handouts. He would bet she never had been.

“She’s a whore,” Gloria insisted. “You’ve never had to pay for a woman before, Walker. Why start now?”

He felt no anger, only coldness. If she’d been someone else, if she’d shown any human feeling, he might have pitied her. As it was, he could only walk away.

But first…

He shook his head. “You blew it, Gloria. I was never interested in Elissa. Not in any way that was a threat to you. But you’ve played your hand. You’ve gotten into her life and screwed around. Now I have to make it right. That means spending more time with her. You should have left well enough alone.”

She stiffened. “I forbid you to see that woman.”

“You think I care? You haven’t been able to order me around for a long time. You forget—you don’t scare me.”

“You will listen to me. You will…”

She opened her mouth and gave a small gasp. Her hand rose to her throat, then fell away. Without warning she dropped to the ground.

Walker was at her side in an instant. Even as he rolled her onto her back to check her breathing, he pressed his fingers against her neck to feel for a pulse.

There wasn’t one.

CHAPTER SEVEN

CAL AND PENNY WERE the last to arrive at the hospital. Cal kept pace with his very slow-moving wife. Walker eyed Penny’s belly and had a feeling that she was even bigger than the last time he’d seen her, which he hadn’t thought possible. Wasn’t there a point beyond which a woman’s stomach simply couldn’t expand?

Everyone embraced, then Cal helped Penny into one of the chairs in the waiting room.

“What happened?” he asked when she was settled.

“We were arguing and she collapsed,” Walker said flatly. He’d already told Reid and Dani the story. “There was nothing dramatic. No chest clutching. She gasped and fell. She wasn’t breathing, so I called 911, then started CPR. She was breathing on her own by the time the ambulance arrived. My guess is she had a heart attack.”

“Who knew she had a heart?” Dani muttered.

Walker wasn’t surprised that no one complained about her comment. Each of them had a complicated relationship with Gloria. On the one hand, she had done nothing to endear herself to her relatives. On the other, she was an old woman who might still die.

Penny reached for Walker’s hand. “Are you all right?” she asked.

He shrugged. “I’m not the one who passed out.”

“I know, but you were with her. I don’t want you to blame yourself for what happened. It could have been any one of us. We’ve all argued with her.”

“Countless times,” Cal added.

“I don’t feel guilty,” Walker said. “Just uncomfortable.” He hadn’t liked seeing her unconscious. He hadn’t liked doing CPR on her. “Our fight wasn’t heated enough to bring this on.”

“Good.” Penny squeezed his fingers, then released them. “I can almost feel sorry for her.”

Dani sprawled next to her on the sofa. “Why would you?”

“Because her entire family is gathered here and no one really loves her. We don’t wish her ill or want her to die, but no one is worried.”

“She brought it on herself,” Cal said. “She pushed each of us away, time after time.”

“I know. It’s just the duty card. I hate that.” She looked at her husband. “You really love me, right?”

Cal bent over and kissed Penny on the mouth. “You’re not allowed to doubt me.”

“I know and I don’t. Not really. It’s just all this and the hormones and my back hurts.”

Just then the doctor walked in. She was tall and thin, in her late forties. “The Buchanan clan?” she asked with a weary smile.

Cal stood and nodded. “That’s us. How is she?”

“The good news is your grandmother is very likely to have a full recovery. Your brother, the one who rode in with her…”

“That was me,” Walker said.

“Yes, of course. You were right. It was a heart attack. Not life threatening as such, but there was some damage. Still, with time, rest and medication, she should be able to resume something close to her normal life. However, there is a complication.”

The doctor paused and checked the chart she held. “Your grandmother isn’t a young woman. Unfortunately, when she fell, she broke her hip.”

Walker glanced at Reid, who shifted uncomfortably.

“That can’t be good,” Penny said.

“It’s not. The break is fairly bad. We’re going to have to operate to put things back in place. After that, she has a long road of physical therapy ahead of her. She will be here at least ten days. After that, a skilled nursing facility specializing in that sort of thing. Under normal circumstances, she could be there for months. However, if you wanted to provide home nursing care, she could be released in about four weeks.”

She tucked the chart under her arm. “I know this is a lot to take in. What’s important is that she survived the heart attack and there’s every reason for optimism. Let’s make an appointment for all of you to come see me in a couple of days and we can sort this all out.”

“Thanks, Doctor,” Cal said, offering his hand.

When she’d left, no one spoke. What was there to say?

“As the most neutral nonblood relative, I’ll go first,” Penny said. “There are two problems. Gloria and the company.”

“The company can run itself for a while,” Cal told her.

“The president just quit,” Walker said. “She told me before she passed out. So someone has to be in charge.”

Cal swore under his breath.

“There’s also the home health care issue,” Penny reminded them. “I don’t think Gloria is going to last very long in any kind of skilled nursing facility. You know how she is. They’re going to throw her out and then what?”

“As she pointed out to me so clearly just a few weeks ago,” Dani said, “she’s not my grandmother. So I’m not getting involved in her recovery or the company. I’m sorry to be difficult, but there it is.”

“No one blames you,” Walker told her. Gloria had gone out of her way to make sure Dani understood she would never be a part of the company or Gloria’s world. A difficult situation had been handled cruelly.

“I’ll take care of the home health care,” Reid said.

Everyone looked at him. He shrugged. “I hate her the least. It’s a few phone calls, some interviews. No big deal.”

“You’ll need more than one nurse,” Penny said. “She’ll need round-the-clock care at first.” She smiled. “Please actually look at their résumés rather than hiring them based on their bust size.”

Reid grinned. “Trust me.”

Penny groaned.

“Which leaves the company,” Dani said. She turned to Walker. “I love you to pieces, but you’re the only one without a job.”

He took a step back. “No way. I told her there was nothing she could say or do to get me to work for her.”

“Apparently you were wrong,” Cal said, sounding far too cheerful. “The good news is you won’t be working for her. Not technically.” His humor faded. “Seriously, it’s just for a few weeks. No one expects you to stay there permanently.”

Walker would rather go on an unarmed patrol through downtown Baghdad. “I don’t know the business world,” he said, trying not to sound desperate.

“Management is universal,” Cal told him.

Walker knew he was trapped. Who else was there?

“Just for a few weeks,” he said. “Don’t get any ideas about me taking over.”

“Agreed,” Cal said.

ELISSA SMILED at the bright young woman sitting across the desk. “Zoe is very excited to be starting kindergarten.”

“We’re happy to have her,” Julie Beamer said. “It sounds as if she already has a head start on a lot of what we’re going to cover this year. You said she knows her letters.”

“She recognizes all of them and can write most of them. We’re having a little trouble with G. She’s also reading very simple words.”

“Excellent.” Julie made a few notes on a pad. “I believe you mentioned Zoe’s father is dead?”

“That’s right,” Elissa said easily. As far as the world was concerned, Neil didn’t even exist. Despite his threats, she knew he wanted nothing to do with his child. For him, Zoe was little more than a means of extortion.

“We’re very much looking forward to having her in class. If you would tell her I can’t wait to meet her.”

“I will,” Elissa promised.

Elissa left the meeting and headed to her car. Her baby was starting school. She was both excited that Zoe was ready to take the next step in her young life and a little choked up to have her daughter growing up so quickly.

Had it been like this with her mother, she wondered, then wished she hadn’t. Thinking about her family only made her sad.

Her parents had never forgiven her for running away. While she tried to understand their anger, she couldn’t help wishing they’d loved her enough to let her be a part of their lives. She’d moved back to Seattle partly with the foolish hope they would run into each other. They hadn’t.

Sometimes Elissa thought she would try to speak with them again. But fear of another rejection always made her hold back.

When she got home, she found her daughter waiting impatiently on the porch.

“Did you see her?” Zoe asked as she raced toward the car. “Is she nice? Does she want to have me in her class? Are we going to have fun?”

Elissa caught her and swung her in the air. “Yes, yes and yes. Miss Beamer is very nice and smart and she’s very excited about how much you already know. You’re going to have a wonderful year.”

As she spoke, she found herself glancing up at Walker’s apartment. Of course he wasn’t there. After leaving her a single phone message, he hadn’t tried to get in touch with her. He showed up late and left early.

It shouldn’t matter. She’d made it clear she didn’t want anything to do with him, and he’d taken her at her word. Wasn’t that good news?

She tried to convince herself it was. The thing was, she’d thought he would at least want to know why. She’d thought her sudden disappearance might concern him. Obviously she’d been wrong. She’d read far too much into their conversations. She’d thought he’d been interested and he hadn’t been.

“Can we go look at my clothes?” Zoe asked. “Can we pick what I’m going to wear the first day? And the next day? And the next?”

“Of course.”

Elissa set her daughter down and took her hand. As they walked into the apartment, she felt an unfamiliar sense of emptiness. It took her a second to realize she was lonely for someone who was more than a friend.

She wasn’t looking to get married or for anything permanent, but every once in a while she thought it would be nice to have someone hanging around for a while. Someone to share things with. Someone to care.

SHORTLY BEFORE NINE on Friday evening, there was a knock on Elissa’s door. Her first thought was that the horrible old woman had returned. That somehow she’d found out how much Elissa missed Walker and she was back to exact her revenge.

Instead, when she stared out the peephole, she saw Walker standing there.

When she opened the door, her first instinct was to throw herself in his arms and demand to know where he’d been. Her second was to rip off her T-shirt in invitation. Instead she went for something a tiny bit more subtle and simply invited him in.

“You okay?” he asked as he closed the door behind him.

“Fine. And you?”

“Not bad.” He held out a bottle of red wine. “I thought we could talk.”

Not words she usually expected to hear from a man. “And you need to get me drunk first?” she asked.

He smiled. “I hadn’t planned to.”

Bummer.

She led the way into the kitchen and handed over the corkscrew. He made quick work of opening the bottle. She put glasses on the counter and he poured.

“So what is the topic of conversation?” she asked, before taking a sip of the very smooth wine. The flavor burst on her tongue without being overpowering. Must be nice to be able to afford something over three dollars a bottle.

“My grandmother.”

Determined not to react, Elissa led the way into the living room. “What about her?”

“I know she was here.”

“Okay.”

He glanced around the empty, quiet room. “Zoe in bed?”

“Yes, fast asleep. I just checked on her a few minutes ago.”

“Good.”

“Because…”

“Because I might be using some language not appropriate for a five-year-old.” He motioned to the sofa and sat across from her in a club chair.

She wasn’t sure why he was here. Was he planning to take his grandmother’s side or hers? “Walker, I don’t know what—”

“Gloria threatened you,” he said flatly. “I know the generalities, but not the specifics. Want to fill me in?”

“Not really.” When his steady gaze never wavered she added, “She obviously doesn’t want us involved. As we’re not, I don’t see a problem.”

“My grandmother isn’t a subtle woman. I’m guessing she threatened your job somehow, or even Zoe. Am I close?”

She shrugged.

Walker frowned, then leaned back in his chair. “Sorry,” he said. “I don’t like her. No one in my family does. She’s a manipulative bitch who will do anything to get her way.”

She relaxed a little. At least he hadn’t assumed she, Elissa, was in the wrong. “Okay, then. Yes. She threatened to get me fired and evicted if I didn’t get out of your life.”

He swore again. “I’m sorry. One day you were gone. I wish you’d told me what had happened.”

“It’s not your problem.”

“It happened because of me.”

“Maybe. I didn’t want to…”

“You weren’t sure whose side I’d be on,” he said. “I’m on yours. Don’t worry.”

“I wasn’t worried, exactly.”

“Of course not.” He smiled at her. “You don’t have to sweat it. She won’t bother you again.”

“Did she get back on her broom and return to the mother ship?”

“No. She’s in the hospital. She had a heart attack, fell and broke her hip.”

“Oh, God.”

Elissa didn’t know what to think, let alone say. Gloria had been horrible, but even so she wouldn’t have wished for something like this to happen.

“She’ll be all right,” he told her. “She’ll be in the hospital for a while, then at a place getting physical therapy.”

“Okay. I’m at a loss here.”

“Me, too. No one in my family expected this. My brother Reid is taking care of finding private duty nurses, while I’m going to be taking over the company.” He sipped his wine. “I’m not exactly executive material.”

“I’m not so sure about that. All you need is attitude and a suit.”

“Why do I think there’s more to it than that?” he asked wryly.

“Sure, if you want to make things complicated.” She clutched her glass and knew she was going to have to get to it eventually. “She mentioned you’re a part of the Buchanan restaurant chain.”

“There are four places. Not much of a chain.”

“Still. It’s a really different world. I’m sure she told you all about me and my past.”

“I don’t care, Elissa,” he said flatly. “You’d told me a lot yourself and I’m in no position to judge.”

Ha. As if she believed that. “I want to make it clear I never did drugs. I wasn’t interested. I know that’s not a huge moral mountain or anything, but it’s important to me. The other stuff, well, some of it is true.” Especially the part about Zoe’s father. How on earth could she have fallen for Neil?

“I meant what I said,” he told her. “I don’t judge you. Or anyone.”

“But I—”

He leaned forward and set his drink on the coffee table between them. “You what? Partied? Slept with some guys? Elissa, I’ve killed people. Sure, it was in the line of duty and it was my job and it probably saved lives, but they’re still dead. Some of them deserved it, but some were just kids pretending to be soldiers. Some weren’t supposed to die. Not on either side.”

She thought about what he’d told her before. “Are you talking about your friend Ben?”

He shrugged. “He took a bullet for me. It all happened so fast. I don’t know how they got in the cave. That shouldn’t have happened. But they did and he died to save me. He was a kid. Some skinny kid from Seattle. He wasn’t even a good Marine. But damn, did he have heart. He didn’t have anyone but me and the Marines and now he’s gone.”

She felt his pain as if it were her own. She felt his emptiness and knew these ghosts were the ones to cause him to cry out in his sleep.

“Walker, you didn’t do anything wrong,” she whispered as she put down her drink and moved toward him. She wasn’t sure what she was going to do, she only knew he needed comfort.

But as she approached, he rose and suddenly she was in his arms, his hands on her back, his mouth on hers.

Everything happened so quickly, she didn’t have time to think. Which was all right because the feel of his lips on hers made it impossible to form thoughts.

His kiss was firm and confident without being demanding. She felt the heat of him, and his strength. He moved his mouth against hers, discovering, arousing, making her strain toward him in an attempt to convince him that more was a really good idea.

She pressed against him, liking how his muscles provided a warm resting place for her body. While he rubbed his fingers against her back, she explored his shoulders and upper arms.

She felt the first brush of his tongue on her lower lip and parted for him. When he slipped inside she felt heat pour through her. Body parts melted. Her thighs and stomach tightened, while her knees nearly gave way. Her breasts swelled.

Wanting swept through her. Need, and hunger. It had been so long, the sensations were almost unfamiliar—but still very, very welcome.

He tasted of wine and sex and promise. When he drew back, she whimpered, but then he kissed her jaw and the side of her neck. His lips traced the line from her ear to her shoulder. He pushed her hair aside and nibbled on the back of her neck.

Liquid desire washed away any lingering resolve she might have mustered. She was more than willing to take things to the next level. Make that the next fifteen levels. She wanted them both naked, clinging, touching, riding each other until they were too exhausted to ever do it again.

She opened her mouth to tell him so when he stepped back.

“Sorry,” he said. “This was not in your game plan.”

Screw the game plan. Had she been able to speak, she would have told him just that. But she was too stunned by her incredible response to him to do more than breathe.

“Even if you were interested,” he continued, “I’m the wrong guy. You and Zoe need someone who’s going to stick around. That’s not me.”

“You’re moving?” she managed to ask, her voice thick and unsteady.

“Not this week. I meant in general. I’m not a good bet.”

“Why not?”

“I saw too many guys get dumped while overseas. Love is fleeting at best.”

“It doesn’t have to be like that.”

“You seen any different?”

My parents. Except she didn’t say that aloud. Were her parents even still together?

“I’m not looking for forever,” she said. “I just find it interesting that someone as caring as you isn’t looking for more.”

“You think I’m caring?”

She managed a smile. “Did I just violate the male code by saying that? Should I take it back?”

“I’m a real bastard, Elissa. You need to understand that.”

She almost giggled. Right. A real bastard who took Mrs. Ford to the hospital and spent time with her daughter while Zoe showed off her new school clothes.

“Bad to the bone,” she said. “I got it.”

He narrowed his gaze. “I’m not kidding.”

“I know. You’re practically evil.”

“Are you making fun of me?”

“Maybe. A little. Gonna get me now?”

“You should respect what I’m telling you. I’m not a good bet.”

She sighed. “Actually, I do believe that.”

Not because of anything he’d said, but because of her own past. He might not be bad, but she was a walking, breathing disaster when it came to men. Neil was proof of that.

“So we’ll just be friends,” he said. “Pretend this never happened.”

“Of course,” she said, knowing she was lying. She planned to relive that kiss every night for the next month. But repeating it in person? Not likely. Fool me once and all that.

He slipped his hand against the back of her neck and drew her to him. “You’re a real temptation. You know that?”

She was painfully normal. Average height, average looks, average body, with the added thrill of a couple of stretch marks. A temptation? Who was he kidding?

But there was a heat in his gaze. A fire that thrilled her as much as it made her want him more.

“And how do you feel about temptation?” she asked.

“I walk away.”

CHAPTER EIGHT

DANI SIPPED the hot coffee and stared across at the view of Lake Union. She was due at the restaurant in an hour, but until then she planned to enjoy the perfect summer morning.

It was just after ten, when those who had regular jobs had disappeared into their offices and the lunch crowd had yet to fill the sidewalks.

The Waterfront should do lunch, she thought. The location was good. With some minor modifications, a lot of their dinner menu could be cut down or translated into salads and sandwiches. They could…

“So not my problem,” she said aloud, to remind herself she wasn’t technically a Buchanan anymore. She didn’t give a damn if the restaurant made a profit or not, just as long as it stayed in business until Penny returned from maternity leave and Dani could find another job.

Or maybe she should do something more, she thought. Like go find her father.

Who was he? She had no idea how to begin the search. Gloria had long ago gotten rid of all Dani’s mother’s things. Could there be papers of some kind? A diary?

The only person who would know for sure was the one person Dani didn’t want to talk to—Gloria.

“What has you looking so serious?”

She turned and saw Ryan standing next to her.

“Hi,” she said, both surprised and delighted to see him. “What are you doing here?”

“Getting coffee. It’s my morning spot. And you?”

She held up her drink. “Getting a slow start on my day. Do you really come here every morning?”

He glanced at the front of the Daily Grind. “Sure. It’s on my way to the restaurant. Why?”

“My brother Cal owns the chain. When he started, he and his partners opened three places at once. This is one of them.”

Ryan chuckled. “So I spend my life in service to the Buchanan empire.”

“Four restaurants isn’t exactly an empire,” Dani said. “Although Cal’s business would qualify. They’re expanding back East.” She lowered her voice. “Apparently they’re going to have to offer more coffee choices that aren’t as strong. I guess we scare them with too much intensity.”

“Wimps,” he said.

She laughed. “One of the new East Coast reps said we all have our taste in our feet.”

Ryan grinned, then his humor faded. He put his hand on her arm. “I was sorry to hear about your grandmother. Are you all right? Is there anything I can do?”

“I’m all right,” she said, not seeing any point in getting into her current maelstrom of feelings. Gloria wasn’t her grandmother. The woman had made her life a living hell for years. And all that time, Dani had done her best to make the old woman happy. Until she’d learned the truth, she’d never been able to figure out why she kept failing. But even after all that, she couldn’t help feeling bad about what had happened and how Gloria was going to have to face her recovery pretty much on her own.

“How are you liking the restaurant?” she asked, not wanting to talk about Gloria anymore. “All settled in?”

He shook his head. “That’s going to take a while. The place is great. Talk about busy. When the orders get going, that kitchen is crazy. How do you keep it straight?”

“Sometimes I don’t,” she admitted. “If you think it’s insane now, wait until Penny gets back. Edouard is a good chef, but he doesn’t challenge himself the same way. Penny liked to test herself on the specials.”

“Everyone talks about how great she is,” Ryan told her. “I’m looking forward to working with her.”

His blond hair looked gold in the bright morning sun. It was perfectly cut, maybe a tiny bit too long, which only made her want to touch the layered strands more. He was good-looking without being pretty, funny, smart and possibly interested in her. Did life get any better?

Okay, her divorce wasn’t final, but wasn’t she entitled to a rebound guy? Someone who would take her mind off her lying, cheating bastard of a husband and show her a good time? Wasn’t it the law?

“Penny’s the best,” Dani said. “I’m glad she’s my sister-in-law again.”

“Again?”

“She and Cal were married before. Things didn’t work out between them for a lot of reasons. But when Cal hired Penny to bring The Waterfront back from the brink, they were thrown together a lot. One thing led to another and now they’re married again.”

“With a baby on the way,” he added.

Dani nodded, not bothering to explain Cal wasn’t the father. It was yet another Buchanan complication and she saw no point in scaring off her potential boy toy.

She giggled. Boy toy? What would Ryan think of the title?

“Okay, you’re always doing that,” he said. “You laugh at something and only you know the reason.”

“Sorry. I guess I find myself entertaining.”

“You make me laugh,” he said.

Was it her imagination or had he just moved a little closer?

Before she could decide, he glanced at his watch. “Tell you what—we have a good hour before we have to be at the restaurant. Let’s walk around the city some. You can show me your favorite sights and I’ll be impressed.”

A shiver of pleasure rippled through her. “Sounds like a plan.” She glanced around to get her bearings, then pointed. “Let’s go that way. I’ll take you to the big downtown Nordstrom store. I know what you’re thinking. It’s just another department store. But you’d be wrong. It’s an amazing place.”

She held her coffee in one hand while her other hung free. Without warning, Ryan captured it in his.

“You have no idea what I’m thinking, Dani. None at all.”

He laced his fingers with hers and squeezed slightly.

Okay then, she thought, barely able to breathe from the shock of a strange man holding her hand after a good ten years of being with Hugh.

He was right—she didn’t know what he was thinking. But she had to admit, she kind of liked it.

ELISSA WAITED until her shift was over to knock on Frank’s open office door. He looked up and waved her in.

“Hey, Elissa. How’s it going? How’s Zoe? She excited about starting school?” The man was in his fifties, overweight and genuinely nice. She knew she’d gotten lucky when she’d found this job.

“Very. Every night we discuss what she’s going to wear the first week and it constantly changes.” She smiled. “I met her teacher and she seems great. So we’re happy.”

“Good. Good.” He waved to the chair in front of his big, paper-covered desk. “What can I do you for? You have plenty of vacation time racked up. Want to use some?”

“Not just yet.” Not only couldn’t she afford to go anywhere right now, she always liked to keep plenty of vacation time in the bank in case of emergency. One serious bout of the flu for either her or Zoe could use up her sick leave and she liked having a buffer.

“I know you’re not here about money,” Frank joked. “You’ve never once asked me for an advance.”

She fidgeted, wishing she did want a loan, or something equally easy to discuss. “No, it’s not money. I just…” She pleated her apron between her fingers. “You know I like working here, Frank. It’s been great, these past three years. The money is terrific, I love the hours and you offer the best benefits in town.”

Frank groaned. “Elissa, no. You can’t. Come on, honey, don’t leave. You’re one of my best people. I can depend on you, the customers love you. Who’s trying to steal you away?”

“What?” She shook her head, although it was nice to know he wouldn’t want to lose her. “No, I’m not quitting. Not at all. I want to stay. I love my job.”

He frowned. “Then what’s this all about?”

“I, ah…” She cleared her throat. “Do you know Gloria Buchanan?”

Frank sighed heavily and leaned back in his squeaky wooden chair. “Oh, yeah. Old, rich, pain in the ass, if you’ll excuse my French.”

Elissa felt an instant and overpowering sense of relief. “You don’t like her?”

Frank shrugged. “I don’t know her. She’s on a lot of the same charity committees I’m on, although she’s always in charge. Has to be. I hate working with her, because it’s her way or a big fight. I swear, she could wear down a rock. I stay quiet and do my bit.” He looked at Elissa. “How do you know her?”

“I don’t, but I know her grandson. He lives in my building. We’re just friends, but somehow Gloria found out and came to see me.”

“I’ll bet that wasn’t pretty,” Frank grumbled. “What did she do?”

“Made some vague threats.” They hadn’t been vague, but suddenly Elissa didn’t feel much like explaining them.

But Frank was a bright guy. “She use my name? Did she threaten you with—” He swore under his breath. “Let me guess. The old bitch doesn’t think you’re the right type for her precious grandson? She said she could get you fired.”

“Something like that.”

“Elissa, that would never happen, no matter who came to me. I judge my people on what I see here, every day. You know that, right?”

She nodded, feeling more foolish by the second. “I know. I shouldn’t have let her get to me. I just got scared.”

“Who wouldn’t? Gloria Buchanan is not a nice person. You stay clear of her.”

As Gloria was currently in the hospital recovering from a heart attack, that wasn’t going to be difficult.

“Thanks, Frank,” she said as she stood. “I appreciate you talking to me.”

“Anytime. You have a problem, you come to me. Nobody gets to my girls.”

She smiled and left. But as she walked into the back room and crossed to her locker, her smile faded. How could she have been so stupid? How could she have let one mean old woman frighten her so much? Why hadn’t she thought things through instead of running?

It was her past, she acknowledged. Those first couple of years after she’d had Zoe had been awful. She’d had to work while caring for a baby and paying for day care. She’d always been one step away from disaster. She’d learned to lie low. Apparently the scars from that time hadn’t completely faded. And that, combined with Neil’s ongoing threats, had a way of making her jump to conclusions.

No more, she told herself. She wasn’t going to let anyone run her life. Next time a rich old woman threatened her, she would stand her ground.

A fairly safe promise, she thought as she got her purse and her car keys out of her locker. How many other rich old women were going to bother with her?

Still, she felt better for having made the decision. And for knowing her job was safe. As she headed toward her car, she had the urge to talk to Walker and tell him what had happened. She wanted to share her relief—and, okay, she wanted to hear his voice.

It was the kiss, she was forced to admit. It had changed everything. Not only had she experienced passion for the first time in over five years, she’d done so with a man she trusted.

How long had it been since she’d felt that for any guy? Not that it mattered. Even if she was willing to break her “no sex for thirteen more years” rule, Walker wasn’t. He’d made it clear that he wasn’t willing to take things to the next level.

Better for them both, she thought, then sighed. Lying to herself was never a good sign.

WALKER ENTERED Gloria’s office at seven in the morning. He’d put off going in for three days, but he no longer had a choice. He’d agreed to take responsibility for Buchanan Enterprises and he would. Hating every minute of it didn’t count.

He stepped off the executive floor and headed for his grandmother’s office. The hallway was quiet and dark, which made him want to look for snipers. He ignored the urge and kept moving.

Apparently he was the first to arrive. Or so he thought until he rounded the corner and saw a small, dark-haired woman putting her purse into the bottom drawer of her desk.

She looked up when she saw him and offered a smile that made her look both uncomfortable and afraid.

“Mr. Buchanan,” she said. “Good morning. I’m Vicki, one of your grandmother’s assistants. We spoke on the phone a couple of days ago. Let me again say how sorry we all are to hear about what happened. Our prayers are with Mrs. Buchanan through her recovery.”

The speech was really nice, but it would have been a whole lot more meaningful if she’d been able to say it without looking as if she would bolt at any second.

“Thank you,” he told her. “The family appreciates everyone’s concern.”

She nodded. “Would you like me to show you around the floor? Or would you prefer to see the office? There’s coffee, of course. Kit sets it up on a timer every evening before she leaves.”

“Kit is my grandmother’s other assistant?”

“Yes, Kit works from two in the afternoon until midnight. We trade off our weekends and there are two other executive assistants who have the training to take over if one of us has to be gone.”

She reminded him of a nervous dog. He would swear he could see her trembling as she spoke.

“Let’s take things slowly,” he said, his voice as calm as he could make it. “I’ll need to see my grandmother’s calendar for the next couple of weeks. Also, if you could let me know about monthly and quarterly meetings that might be coming up.”

“Of course.” She pulled a small pad out of her skirt pocket and wrote quickly. “Is ten minutes sufficient? I could work faster.”

“How about any time before nine this morning?”

Vicki blinked at him. “But that’s a two-hour window.”

“I know.”

“All right. Let me show you the office, then I’ll get your coffee.”

Walker had never been an officer, so he’d never been in a position to have someone bring him anything. He could only imagine what would have happened if he’d asked.

“Why don’t you show me where the coffee is and I’ll get it myself?”

“But you can’t,” she breathed. “Mr. Buchanan—”

“Walker,” he said. “Call me Walker. I don’t know how my grandmother ran things, Vicki. To be honest, I don’t know much about the company. I’m here to keep things from falling apart until she gets better. So you’re going to have to be patient with me.”

“Of course,” she said, looking terrified. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t being critical.”

She was like a wounded wild animal, ready to run for cover. It made him tired just to be here.

“You weren’t critical. You offered to get me coffee. There’s a difference. Now let’s go see where I can get my caffeine fix for the next hour.”

She led the way into a small kitchen, then watched as he poured himself a mug of the steaming coffee.

“Help yourself,” he said when he was finished.

“Mrs. Buchanan prefers that the staff doesn’t use her personal equipment. I’ll go down to the lunchroom later. We have a machine there.”

He’d known Gloria was a real bitch, but even he was surprised by how she treated her people.

“I’m not going to say anything,” he told Vicki. “Just help yourself.”

Then, while she watched in obvious amazement, he poured a second mug and handed it to her.

“I, ah, thank you,” she whispered.

“You’re welcome.” He kept his smile easy, while on the inside, all he could think about was getting the hell out of here. Right now snipers didn’t sound all that bad.

“THE MANAGERS FROM the various restaurants meet here twice a week,” Vicki said an hour later as she walked him through Gloria’s calendar. “Except for The Downtown Sports Bar. Reid is supposed to be in charge, but he doesn’t come to the meetings.”

“Not a surprise,” Walker said with a grin. “My brother isn’t into following the rules.”

Vicki nodded without smiling back. “Mrs. Buchanan sees the chefs once a week, except for the chef at The Waterfront. It’s in Chef Jackson’s contract that she doesn’t have to attend those meetings. That doesn’t make Mrs. Buchanan very happy.”

Walker wasn’t surprised. Lucky Penny, missing out on meetings with his grandmother.

“There are mini staff meetings every afternoon at four and major ones once a week. Then each department meets with Mrs. Buchanan individually once a week.”

“That’s a lot of meetings,” he said. “When do these people get their work done?”

“A lot of them stay nights,” she said earnestly. “Mrs. Buchanan has very high standards.”

“I knew she was difficult,” he muttered. “I didn’t know she was insane.”

But he wasn’t surprised Gloria had to micromanage every aspect of the company. She would never trust anyone to get the job done correctly.

He looked at the printout. “We’re going to make some changes here.”

“Of course,” Vicki said as she stood on the other side of the desk.

Walker hated being in the large white-on-white room, but the other woman’s hovering only made him more uncomfortable.

“You gonna settle somewhere?” he asked.

“Excuse me?”

“Sit down.”

Vicki’s eyes widened. “Mrs. Buchanan prefers us to stand while we—”

“Mrs. Buchanan isn’t here. Sit.”

Vicki perched on the very edge of the chair across from his. A muscle twitched in her jaw. He glanced at the clock on the desk and saw it was barely after eight in the morning—too early to start drinking, but damn, was he tempted.

He looked at the jam-packed schedule, including a standing appointment with a Mr. J from a private investigation agency—no doubt how she knew so much about everyone’s personal life—and decided it all had to stop.

“Cancel everything,” he said.

Vicki’s mouth opened, then closed. “Excuse me, sir?”

“Cancel everything. Every meeting, every appointment. I want to start over. Can you send an e-mail to everyone telling them to wait to find out the new schedule?” He would take care of the mysterious Mr. J himself.

She paled. “Of course. I’m happy to do that.”

“Good. I’ll meet with the different managers and department heads, but later in the week when I’ve had time to review the quarterly statements. Then go ahead and set up meetings for me at each of the four restaurants. Do them on different days. The Waterfront can be last—I know they’re in good shape.”

Vicki seemed to fold in on herself. “I’m sorry to have to ask, but are you saying you’ll go there?”

“Sure. It’ll be easier to coordinate a time if I work around their schedules.”

She wrote frantically.

When she paused, he said, “Would it be possible to get the recent quarterlies this morning?”

“Of course. They’re on my computer.”

“Good. When it’s convenient.”

She wrote some more.

“Does Kit like working nights?” he asked.

Vicki blanched. “I don’t know. Is there a problem? Would you like me to—”

He raised his hand to stop her. “Breathe,” he said.

“Excuse me?”

“Breathe. Take a deep breath and let it out.”

She did as he requested, but didn’t look any more relaxed.

“No one is getting fired,” he said. “No one is even getting beaten. It is more than possible that I will violate the executive assistant code by asking you to bring me lunch because I don’t want to go to a restaurant and despite the fact that we own four, our corporate headquarters has nothing better than a few vending machines.”

“I’m happy to get you lunch,” she said. “Every day.”

“Good. But on company time. Not your own. As for Kit’s hours, I won’t be working until midnight. So if she would prefer the day shift, that’s fine with me. I’m sure there’s plenty to keep the two of you busy.”

She wrote frantically.

“Vicki,” he said, then waited until she looked at him. “You don’t have to write everything down.”

“I want to get it right the first time. That’s very important.”

“What happens if you make a mistake?”

Her expression of panic made him feel as if he’d kicked her. “Never mind,” he said. “For what it’s worth, you don’t have to get it right the first time.”

She nodded, but he doubted she believed him.

Was the entire staff like this? No wonder the company had run through three presidents a year for the past decade.

How much cleanup would he have to deal with? People working while afraid wasn’t efficient. As he’d learned in his previous line of work, some fear allowed a soldier to keep the edge, but too much got him dead.

He thought about how his grandmother had tried to control her grandchildren. When that had failed, had she turned to her employees?

“Things are going to be different while I’m here,” he told Vicki. “Feel free to spread the word.”

CHAPTER NINE

ELISSA DID HER BEST to concentrate on the dozen or so blue topaz stones sitting on her kitchen table. Her budget didn’t usually allow for anything this nice, but one of her regulars at the diner knew someone in the jewelry business, so she’d been able to get the cut stones at a great price. In return Elissa was going to transform a bolt of fabric into bedroom drapes. All in all, a great trade.

She had an idea for six pairs of earrings, assuming she could match up the stones. If not, she would use the leftovers in a coordinating necklace, or maybe a pendant-pin combination. So many ideas.

Normally she would have been lost in her work for hours, but this particular Saturday there was the added distraction of Walker sitting not two feet away on the other side of her kitchen table.

She still wasn’t sure how he’d come to be there. One minute she’d been getting out of her car after dropping Zoe off on a play date and the next, they’d been talking and she’d invited him inside.

“Your grandmother has two assistants?” she said, as Walker talked about his first couple of days running the company. “Who needs two?”

“Apparently she does. I won’t meet Kit until next week, but Vicki spends her day trembling in fear. She seems convinced if she doesn’t do whatever I say perfectly the first time, I’ll have her shot at dawn.”

“That would almost be funny if it weren’t so sad.”

“Everyone is like that,” he said. “I walked into a few offices yesterday to introduce myself and the people were all terrified. I couldn’t get anyone to say anything but how much they love my grandmother and their jobs and how thrilled they are to be working there.”

Elissa wrinkled her nose. “No offense, but I find it really hard to believe they’re that fond of your grandmother.”

“I keep expecting to find a closet full of bamboo canes, or a medieval torture rack behind a closed door. She had meetings scheduled all day. Every department reported to her daily. The restaurant personnel were expected to come to her.”

“You’ll get it sorted out,” she told him, confident it was true. The man had handled troops while under fire—how hard could it be to whip an office staff into shape?

“There’s so much to learn,” he said. “I never paid attention to the restaurant business before. They don’t even call it a restaurant. It’s a store.”

She grinned. “I know.”

He shook his head. “Sorry—you work in a restaurant. Then you know what I’m talking about. Cal, one of my brothers, is giving me a crash course in restaurant management. There are fixed costs, like the building. Food costs and labor costs are broken down by the meal. Penny, Cal’s wife, is a chef. I’m meeting with her next week to learn about the back of the store. I don’t know anything about how a kitchen works.”

“Not even in real life,” she murmured.

He narrowed his gaze. “Is that a crack about my cooking?”

“To the best of my knowledge, you don’t cook.”

“What’s your point?”

“That it’s all information you can learn. If you have good people in place, then the restaurants will take care of themselves.”

“They’d better.” He leaned back in his chair and grabbed the iced tea she’d made. “I never much thought about the family business as anything real. It was just something I wanted to avoid. Now I feel like I’m rescuing people from the bowels of hell.”

“You are. I know she’s your grandmother and you probably love her very much—”

“Not really.”

She didn’t believe that. Family was impossible to ignore forever. Look how long she’d tried, and there were still days she thought about her parents and wondered if she ever crossed their minds.

“I’m just saying,” she continued, “she couldn’t have been someone easy to work for. You’re doing a good thing.”

He shrugged uncomfortably.

“Speaking of being foolish…” she said.

“Were we?”

“Sort of. I talked to my boss. He knows your grandmother, but they’re not close and there’s no way she could have convinced him to fire me. I can’t believe I let her intimidate me that way. I just collapsed like a wet tissue. I should have been stronger than that.”

“Elissa, I have grown men with MBAs cowering behind their desks. It’s not you. Gloria would terrify anyone.”

“She doesn’t scare you.”

“I know her. Don’t take it personally. You’re plenty tough.”

“I’m not, but thank you for saying so.”

Even though she wasn’t getting any work done, she liked having him around. He was easy to talk to, and easy to look at. A nice combination. While intellectually she knew it was best that he wasn’t interested in starting anything with her, the stubborn, emotional side of her brain regretted that they would never get more involved. He would have been a great guy to get to know.

Yeah, right until she found out his pesky, awful flaw. Because if she liked him, he had one. She should be—

Walker stood up and walked toward the living room.

“Am I boring you?” she asked.

“What? No. I thought I saw someone outside.”

“Like?”

“I don’t know. He looked suspicious.”

Her first thought was that Neil had made good on his threat and found her. Then she dismissed the idea. Neil wouldn’t lurk. He would simply pound on the door and demand money.

Walker turned back to her. “I want to ask you something. My sister-in-law is pregnant and there’s going to be—”

He turned suddenly and raced out of the apartment. Elissa went after him and was stunned to see him following a guy she’d never seen before.

Her first thought was relief that the man wasn’t Neil. He was too short and his hair was too dark. Her second was to wonder who was hanging out in her front yard, looking through her windows.

She caught up with them as Walker tackled the guy and they fell onto a neighbor’s lawn. Before she knew it, Walker had the guy’s right arm bent behind his back.

“Mr. J, I presume,” Walker said.

“Who?” she asked.

“This guy works for my grandmother. I don’t know his real name. He’s in her calendar as Mr. J.” Walker shook the man. “I called your company yesterday and fired your ass.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t work for your grandmother.”

“Right.” Walker tightened his grip on the man’s arm. “Then who hired you?”

“I can’t—” The man gave a little scream as Walker pushed his wrist higher toward his shoulder.

Elissa winced but didn’t stop him. She didn’t like the idea of strange guys hovering around her apartment. She asked the next obvious question.

“Was it Neil?”

Both Walker and the man looked at her.

“No. His name is Bobby,” the stranger told her. “He says he’s your brother.”

ELISSA STUDIED THE MAN in the baseball cap. He was so ordinary looking. “I wouldn’t have guessed you were a private detective,” she said, as the man, who’d introduced himself as Derek, drank a glass of iced tea.

“We’re supposed to blend in,” Derek told her. He held the glass in his left hand and rotated his right shoulder. “You’ve got some grip, buddy,” he said to Walker.

Walker leaned against the counter, legs braced, arms folded. He looked ready to attack and kill, if necessary. Elissa was glad he was on her side.

She was still having trouble getting her mind around Derek’s confession of his client. “Bobby’s still a kid,” she said, not sure she believed her brother was trying to get in touch with her.

“He turned eighteen on his last birthday. He starts at UW next week.”

Her brother going to the University of Washington? The last time she’d seen him, he’d just gotten braces. Of course that had been eight years ago.

Thinking about her brother made her want to ask about her parents, but she knew better. They’d made their position clear.

“He wants to talk to you,” Derek said as he reached in his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. “Here’s his cell number. He’d really like you to give him a call.”

She supposed it meant something that her brother had spent his money to find her. She took the paper and stuffed it in her own pocket.

“I guess it wouldn’t hurt,” she said, not sure how she felt about contact with him after all these years. “Tell him I’ll give him a call in the next few days.”

“And nothing else,” Walker added.

Derek looked at him. “What do you mean?”

“You will not give out any personal information on Elissa. Not her address, or phone number, not the name or location of her place of employment. I don’t care what your contract with the kid says. If you put her in any danger, you will answer to me.”

It was like watching a rabbit try to face down a tiger. Derek folded instantly. “I won’t tell him anything.”

“If I find out you have, I will hunt you down. Are we clear?”

Derek put down the iced tea and nodded vigorously. “I, ah, should probably go.”

“Excellent idea,” Walker said. “I’ll see you out.”

Elissa stayed in the kitchen and sank into one of the chairs. When Walker returned, he sat next to her.

“You okay?” he asked.

“I don’t think so. This is so weird. I haven’t talked to Bobby since I found out I was pregnant.” She drew in a breath. “I ran away when I was seventeen and I never called my parents to say I was okay. I felt bad about that later. It was selfish and stupid, but that pretty much defined my existence. Then I let myself forget about them. I was busy holding down an exciting job. When I got pregnant and Zoe’s father turned out to be an asshole, I left him. I also called home.”

His dark eyes hid his thoughts, but she wasn’t worried about him judging her. Walker wasn’t the type.

“What happened?” he asked quietly.

“I got Bobby. He said the folks were still pretty pissed off, but he’d check with them to see if they were willing to talk to me.”

“Did you tell him about Zoe?”

She shook her head. “I figured calling after all this time was enough of a shock. Besides, I still had enough pride not to want their pity. That came later.”

“They weren’t interested,” he said, not asking a question.

“Apparently not. He said they didn’t want anything to do with me. That I’d made my decision and now I had to live with it. So I did.”

“Are you sure he was telling the truth?”

Elissa nodded. “I thought about that, too, but only for a minute. Bobby was always a great kid and we got along really well. My mom had trouble getting pregnant the second time, which is why there’s such a big age gap between us. I could have hated him for being the favorite after he was born, but I loved him too much. We had fun together. I couldn’t imagine him lying to me about that.”

“You gonna call?”

“Probably. I need a couple of days to get used to the idea of having contact with him again, but then I will. I’d like Zoe to know her uncle.”

“Want to come with me to my sister-in-law’s baby shower?”

The question wasn’t quite as shocking as finding out her brother was trying to get in touch with her, but it was very close.

“What?”

“Penny’s shower is tomorrow. I thought about asking you before, but then I wasn’t sure you’d want to come. It’s just family. You’d like Dani and Penny. The food will be good.”

His voice trailed off. For the first time since meeting him, Elissa had the idea that Walker was nervous.

“You’re asking me to go with you to your sister-in-law’s baby shower?”

“Zoe, too,” he said. “It’s not a date.”

“Good to know.”

“I bought a car seat. She registered at a baby store, so that’s what I got. They wrapped it. I can put your names on the card.”

They weren’t dating but he was willing to share the gift?

Elissa didn’t know what to think. She believed him when he said he didn’t want to get involved, and if he was strong enough to ignore the sexual attraction between them, then she could, too.

She knew they would both face a lot of questions, yet she couldn’t resist finding out more about Walker’s private world. What was he like with his family and who were the people who knew him best?

“What time?” she asked.

“Four. Penny’s cooking. It’s her party and she shouldn’t, but she’s a chef and who else would she trust with the food?”

“Okay,” she said slowly. “Sure. We’ll go. Oh, and I’ll bring my own present.”

“Are you sure? I don’t mind adding you and Zoe.”

“We’re good.”

“Then I’ll pick you up at three-thirty.”

“Sure.”

She walked him to the door, where they stood awkwardly for several seconds. Then he turned and headed up the stairs.

Not a date, huh? If it looks like a duck and walks like a duck, what else could it be?

WALKER’S CAR still smelled new. Elissa inhaled the rich scent of expensive leather and eyed the complicated-looking console. In the car world, money could really buy happiness.

“So you’re one of four,” she said, knowing it was more important to learn about his family than wallow in car-envy.

“Right. Cal, Reid, me and Dani. Cal’s married to Penny. Reid may or may not bring a date. He tends to go through women quickly. Dani is in the middle of a divorce.”

“When’s Cal and Penny’s baby due?”

Walker hesitated. “Cal’s not the father.”

“Oh. That’s interesting. Will the biological father be there, too?”

“No. Penny used an anonymous sperm donor. She had always wanted a family and the traditional route didn’t seem to be working for her.”

“I admire a woman with initiative.” And one who volunteered to be a single parent. Elissa loved Zoe, but sometimes it was tough being the only grownup around.

She glanced back at her daughter, who bounced along with the music from Walker’s portable CD player.

“I’m guessing your high-tech CD player has never heard a Disney sing-along CD before,” she said as she faced front again.

“Not my style.”

“Some of the tunes are catchy. We put that kind of music on when we’re cleaning house.”

He smiled. “Interesting choice.”

Not that she could imagine him singing along as he dusted. Of course she couldn’t imagine him dusting. Or doing anything mundane. She could picture him with a rifle or even a hunting knife. Better yet, bare chested with a hunting knife. Yum.

Her personal fantasy carried her through the next couple of miles, right up until Walker turned right at the base of a street and drove what felt like straight up.

“They live here?” she asked as she took in the old, elegant houses and the incredible views of both the city and the water.

“Uh-huh.”

“Queen Ann Hill?”

“Uh-huh.”

Figures. While she knew in her head that Walker obviously came from some kind of money, his current lifestyle allowed her to forget. “Where do Reid and Dani live? Next to Bill and Melinda Gates?”

“Reid has a houseboat. Dani’s currently staying in Penny’s old place.” He glanced at her. “Why are you upset?”

“I’m not. It’s just…” She shrugged. “I’m fine,” she said, not willing to admit the obvious wealth freaked her out. She’d read about the houseboats in Seattle. The crappy ones went for a million, while she’d had to pay off a fifty-dollar tire five bucks at a time.

They pulled in front of a pretty brick-fronted two-story house. While Zoe turned off the CD player and unfastened her seat belt, Elissa followed Walker around to the back where she collected the two boxes she’d brought and he grabbed the wrapped car seat.

“Ready?” he asked.

She was starting to question her judgment in accepting his invitation. What if his siblings were more like Gloria than like him? What if they resented her or looked down on her because she worked in a diner and hadn’t finished high school? What if—

The front door opened and a petite, pretty woman with hazel eyes and a fabulous haircut stepped out to greet them.

“Walker,” she said with a smile, but her gaze locked on Elissa and Zoe. “You made it.”

“Hey, Dani.” He paused and urged Zoe in front of him, then put his hand on Elissa’s back. “This is Elissa. She lives in my building. And her daughter, Zoe.”

Dani’s smiled widened. “Wow. Okay. Nice to meet you. Come in. Everyone else is here. Hey, guys, it’s Walker. And he brought a friend.”

Elissa groaned, then elbowed Walker in the ribs. “You didn’t tell them you were bringing me?”

“Penny always makes more than enough food,” he said, obviously confused about her dismay.

“It’s not about food,” she muttered, wondering if it was good news to realize that in some things, Walker was just as clueless as every other man on earth.

He escorted her and Zoe into a large open living room filled with presents and trays of food. Two men stood by a table. They looked enough like Walker for her to guess their identity.

A very pregnant auburn-haired woman waddled in. “A friend,” she said, then stopped when she spotted Elissa and Zoe. “How nice.” She smiled. “I’m Penny Buchanan. Oh, goodie. You brought me presents.”

Despite her nerves, Elissa found herself laughing. “Congratulations on the baby,” she said as she handed over her two boxes.

“Thank you.” Penny eyed the box Walker held. “That looks big enough to be a car seat.”

“You said it’s what you wanted,” he said, sounding slightly uncomfortable.

“And it is. Come on,” Penny said, taking Elissa’s arm. “You met Dani already. This is Reid,” she said, pointing to the man on the right. “And Cal, my husband. This is Elissa and Zoe. Walker’s friends.”

“So we heard,” Cal said pleasantly and shook her hand. “Welcome.”

“Thank you.” Elissa turned her attention to the other man and froze. He looked familiar. Incredibly familiar. The name clicked. “Oh my God. You’re Reid Buchanan.”

The Reid Buchanan. A Seattle native who had pitched major league baseball for ten years. He’d quit last season because of a blown shoulder. She still remembered—

“Hey, baby,” he said smoothly.

Eek! She’d worked at a restaurant long enough to recognize that particular tone of voice. It came from a man who assumed a woman was interested. Uh-oh.

She carefully took a step back and leaned against Walker. “I’ve always been a bit of a baseball fan,” she said. “This year I’ve been too busy to follow the season much, but usually I’m right there on my sofa, cheering.”

Cal chuckled. “Nicely done, Elissa. Good deflection, quick recovery.” He lightly punched Reid in the arm. “You gotta get over yourself, guy. Not every woman wants to be with you.”

Reid shrugged good-naturedly. “Most of them do.”

Elissa looked at Zoe, who was listening intently, and held in a groan. Hopefully her five-year-old would miss the nuance of the conversation.

Penny bent down to Zoe. “I’ve made margaritas for everyone else. They’re a grown-up drink I don’t think you’d like. But I also made these really cool berry slushies. I thought I was going to have to drink them all by myself, but maybe you could try one and if you like it, you’ll have some.”

Zoe nodded tentatively.

Penny straightened and held out her hand. “Why don’t you and your mom come into the kitchen and you can have a taste?”

“Okay.”

Zoe took Penny’s hand. Elissa followed them and everyone trailed along behind.

Dozens of delicious smells filled the bright kitchen. While Penny poured a bright red drink from a blender into a glass, she glanced at the stove.

“Dani, give the front two pots a stir, will you? Cal, honey, check the bread in the oven. It should be toasted by now. Pull it out and put in the pastries. Reid, I need fifteen minutes on the timer. Elissa, are you up to zesting? I need one orange and three limes zested. Everything is in that bowl. Walker, there’s a couple of big flank steaks on the counter. Could you cube them, please?”

In a matter of seconds, everyone was hard at work. Elissa zested her limes elbow-to-elbow with Walker.

“She really knows her way around a kitchen, huh?” Elissa said in a whisper.

“She could have been an Admiral,” Walker murmured back. “Penny knows how to be in charge.”

Elissa glanced at the pregnant woman who sat at the small table with Zoe. They were both sipping their bright red drinks. Zoe giggled at something Penny said.

This was nice, Elissa thought. Walker’s family might be wealthy, but they were just like everyone else. No one seemed to be in competition with Gloria for an evil witch award, which was comforting. She was having a good time and even more important, Zoe was getting out and seeing a big family in action.

Elissa thought of her own family. They’d been on her mind ever since she’d found out Bobby was trying to get in touch with her. Sometimes she understood why her parents had made the decision they had, and sometimes she wondered why they couldn’t love her enough to give her a second chance. They were missing out on their own grandchild. Zoe was growing up and these years could never be recaptured.

It had been their decision, she reminded herself. Their loss. Only now, watching the love and affection in Walker’s family, she understood it was her loss, too.

“SHE’S NICE,” DANI SAID, coming up to stand behind Walker as they watched Penny open a huge box her friend Naomi had sent.

“I think so.”

“I like her daughter, too.”

He looked at Zoe, who sat at her mother’s feet watching intently as the presents were opened.

“She’s a good kid.”

“I’m glad you’re dating,” Dani said.

“I’m not.”

His sister leaned close. “You can pretend all you want, big brother, but you have it bad.”

“At the risk of sounding like an eight-year-old, do not.”

“You can lie to yourself all you want, but don’t lie to me. It’s all there. The way you watch her, the way she watches you. We can all feel the heat.”

He didn’t bother to tell her that heat wasn’t a relationship. Of course he wanted Elissa—what man wouldn’t? She was an irresistible combination of sweetness, intelligence and caring. Plus, he’d kissed her and now he knew how good it could be between them.

“There are complications,” he said, hoping to deflect Dani.

“Such as your reluctance to make a commitment? Why is that? If you let this one get away, you’re a fool.”

There was so much she didn’t know, he thought. So much she would never know. They were, as Penny had said, a family of secrets and he certainly had his share.

Penny picked up the two boxes Elissa had brought. “You don’t even know me,” she said. “You really didn’t have to do this.”

Elissa grinned. “I’ve tasted your cooking now. Think of them as gifts of worship.”

Penny laughed. “Okay, that kind of praise I can handle.”

She opened the smaller box first. Inside were a pair of dangling earrings. Walker recognized them as Elissa’s work. Penny gasped. “I love them.”

Dani pushed past them and bent over the jewelry. “Me, too. Where did you get them?”

“I made them,” Elissa said with a small shrug. “It’s sort of a part-time job.”

“I want them,” Dani said.

Penny snatched them out of reach. “Get your own.”

“I’d like to.” She looked at Elissa. “Can you make a pair like that?”

“Ah, sure. Or I can do something different. I have a lot of designs.”

Dani plopped down next to her. “Good. We’ll talk when this one is done with her presents.”

Penny reached for the second box. “I would like to point out that Elissa was the only one sensitive enough to bring the expectant mother a gift just for herself.”

Cal patted her arm. “The baby is your present.”

“Ha.” Penny ripped the wrapping paper, then opened the white box. She reached inside and held up a small blanket in shades of yellow. “It’s lovely. Did you crochet it yourself?”

“I wish,” Elissa said. “My neighbor makes them. Doesn’t she do beautiful work? I love how soft the yarn is.”

“Mrs. Ford made me a blanket,” Zoe said. “It’s pink and has gold trim.”

Penny leaned forward and touched the girl’s nose. “It sounds like the perfect blanket for a princess.”

Zoe beamed. “It is.”

“We should have brought her,” Walker said. Maybe with the old lady along, people would get off of him about dating Elissa.

“She’s on one of her day trips to a casino,” Elissa told him, then looked back at Penny. “My neighbor is fabulous. She’s in her nineties and does exactly what she wants. She’s sweet and feisty and I adore her.”

“Sounds like everything Gloria isn’t,” Dani muttered.

“Elissa met her,” Walker said.

Dani patted her arm. “You have my sympathy.”

CHAPTER TEN

WHILE THE WATERFRONT was all about light and air and the view of the water, Buchanan’s was about old-world atmosphere and intimacy.

Walker arrived at the restaurant shortly after lunch for his meeting with the staff and let himself in the front door. As he stepped into the cool, dim interior, he tried to remember the last time he’d been in the place. Two years ago? Three?

High-backed booths lined the perimeter of the main dining room, with more rows of booths in the middle. The only tables were for large parties and they were set up in the two alcoves and the private dining room.

He could hear voices coming from the back. The cooks would be prepping for dinner. Buchanan’s had an in-house butcher who was responsible for cutting all the meat, which was responsible for earning Buchanan’s its reputation. The regular menu had a token chicken dish along with a couple of pasta choices. The specials always included a single fish choice. But people came to Buchanan’s to eat good steaks.

He glanced around at the red leather and dark wood. The paneling was old, but well kept. The old-fashioned light fixtures had passed from outdated back to trendy.

He noted the folded piles of white tablecloths and other linens. Clean dishes were stacked on a long sideboard, ready to be put in place. By four that afternoon, the store would be vibrating with activity, but now there was only the low rumble of voices and the sounds of trucks in the street.

One side of the double swinging door opened and Ron Alcorn walked into the main dining room. Buchanan’s general manager stopped when he saw Walker, then smiled and hurried toward him.

“I thought you’d come in the back door,” he said as they shook hands.

“I wanted to look around first,” Walker said. “The old place still looks good.”

“We think so. Business has been excellent.” His smile faded. “We’re all very sorry to hear about your grandmother and wish her a speedy recovery.”

Based on what Walker had seen at the main office, he doubted that. Gloria was obviously hell to work for. She made some drill sergeants he’d known look like choirboys.

“Thanks for your concern,” he said. “She’ll be out for several months. In the meantime, I’m going to be making a few changes.”

Ron’s tension was subtle but visible. Walker had an idea about the other man’s concerns, but he decided to deal with them later. First he wanted to talk to the kitchen staff.

“Everyone in back?” Walker asked.

“Yes. You said not to bring in the waitstaff, so I didn’t make this a mandatory meeting. A few of them came in on their own time.”

“That’s fine. You can pass on the message to the others when they show up for their shifts.”

He led the way into the kitchen.

The restaurant had been built when real estate was cheap and labor practically free. There was room for nearly two dozen to work in the open space.

The grill dominated one wall, butting up to an old oven. The steaks would be seared on the grill, doused in butter, then finished in the oven so they didn’t dry out.

Today there were fewer than ten cooks, including a recent culinary graduate who made the salads.

“Afternoon,” Walker said. “Thanks for taking the time to see me.”

The men exchanged glances, obviously wondering why he thought there’d been a choice.

“Most of you know my grandmother recently suffered a heart attack. When she collapsed, she broke her hip. While she’s laid up, I’ll be running the company, including Buchanan’s. I’ve been over the numbers and everyone here is doing a damn good job. Sales are up, customers are happy and that makes my job easier.” He turned to Ron. “You have a good staff. You pick good people. They work hard. I was a little concerned about the sick leave policy. It’s not what anyone could describe as generous, so I’m increasing it by two days. You’re still required to give notice, but otherwise, the change is effective immediately.”

There was a moment of silence, followed by stunned applause.

Walker went over a few more minor points, then ended the meeting. After speaking with each person individually, he took Ron aside.

“Anything else?” he asked the manager.

Ron shifted uneasily. “Nothing I can’t handle.”

Walker had wondered if the other man would come clean or if he, Walker, would have to mention it first. He would bet Ron’s reluctance was more about his fear of Gloria than his character.

“Someone’s stealing liquor,” Walker said flatly. “I went over how much you’re buying versus how much you’re selling and the numbers don’t add up. Even spilling a bottle a day, you’re still coming up short.”

Ron swallowed. “I know,” he admitted. “I’m trying to figure out who’s doing it. I have a good idea, but I’m waiting to catch him. I didn’t mention it before because…” He shrugged. “I wanted to present the problem and the solution.”

He wanted to save his job, Walker thought, not really able to blame him. Hearing the news of liquor theft, Gloria would have fired Ron immediately.

“I’ll give you a week,” Walker told him. “If you haven’t fixed things by then, I’ll come in and fix them for you.” He was willing to give Ron a little more time, but not to be taken advantage of.

“That’s fair,” Ron said. “So, how long have you been in the restaurant business?”

“About ten days.”

Ron looked surprised. “You’re good at it.”

“I was in the Marines before that. I led men into fights I knew we might lose, in which a lot of them were going to end up dead. Compared to that, this is easy.”

“JUST A LITTLE LOWER,” Penny said with a moan as she lay back, eyes closed, body supported by several sofa cushions. “Oh, yes. Just like that.”

Reid dug his thumbs into the ball of her foot and wondered what it was about women and foot rubs.

“Shouldn’t Cal be doing this?” he asked.

“He should and he will when he gets home. In the meantime, you’re here and I’m taking shameless advantage of you.” She opened one eye. “Does this make you uncomfortable? Is it too intimate?”

“We’re talking about your feet, Penny,” he said.

“But it’s something guys do to get women into bed.” She opened the other eye. “You do realize I’ve never had a sexual thought about you? Even once. And now I can’t imagine having sex ever again. I’m so huge and swollen. It’s disgusting.”

Penny was his friend, so he accepted her words in the spirit he knew she meant them. It wasn’t as if he’d ever seen Penny as anything but another sister. As for Cal, well, his brother had his sympathy.

“Remind me never to have kids,” he muttered.

“You’re careful, you should be fine.” She closed her eyes again and moaned as he pulled on her toes. “You’re really good at this.”

“Practice.”

“When I feel human again, I must remember to ask one of your women what you’re like in bed. I mean, you have numbers that would impress a rock star, but what’s the style like?”

He thought of the screams and moans, not to mention the nail marks on his back. “I do okay,” he said modestly.

“If your foot rubs are anything to go by, then you do better than okay.” She placed her hands on her stomach. “Come out, come out, wherever you are. Mommy is more than ready to have you in this world.”

“Just a couple more weeks.”

“Easy for you to say. You can still sleep at night. I just lie there, hating how I feel. On the plus side, he or she is very active.”

“Still don’t know the gender, huh?”

“We want it to be a surprise.” She thrust her other foot at him. “Have you been to see Gloria?”

“A couple of times.”

Penny raised her eyebrows. “Really?”

“She’s old and frail.”

“Since when?”

He smiled. “Don’t worry. I still know she’s a snake, but I kinda feel sorry for her.”

“Then you’re the best one to handle her nursing care. How’s that going?”

“I spoke with her doctor, along with a physical therapist. I have some names. We’ll work three nurses in rotating eight-hour shifts, with a fourth to cover days off. Whoever Gloria hates the least will get the prized day shift.”

“I’m impressed.”

He scowled. “I’m not useless. I can do more than throw a baseball.”

Not that he wanted to, but he didn’t have a choice anymore. He swore silently, knowing better than to go down that road.

“Still, it’s nice of you to look after this,” Penny said.

“Cal and Dani are too emotionally tied up with Gloria to deal with it and Walker’s running the business. Oh, Gloria said to bring the baby to her as soon as he’s born.”

“I assume that was an order,” she said mildly.

“You bet.”

She opened her eyes again. “I feel sorry for her, too. She had so much—a great business, a large family, and now there’s nothing. You and Walker are neutral about her. Cal and Dani obviously dislike her. No one wants anything to do with her.”

“It’s not like you to be so kind,” he said.

“I know. It’s because I don’t have to deal with her. When we’re both back at work and she’s bugging me about my menus and making snide comments about the food I cook, then I’ll hate her, too. But until then, I can afford to be generous.”

“Maybe Walker will stay in charge of things. He might find he likes running the company.”

“I wish,” she said, “but my luck’s not that good. Besides, being in charge would mean sticking around. Walker doesn’t like to do that. It means risking getting involved.”

Reid stared at her. “What are you talking about? Walker left because it was his job.”

“And why did he go into the Marines in the first place?”

“To screw with Gloria.”

“I know that’s what everyone says, but I don’t believe it. I think there’s way more to the story. Walker has always held himself a little apart from everyone. Maybe this time will be good for him. Maybe Elissa will be good for him. I really liked her and Zoe.”

“They were all right.” Elissa had been pretty and easy to talk to, which he liked in women he wasn’t going to sleep with. Otherwise, conversation was a waste. “You’re wrong about Walker. He doesn’t hold back.”

“What do you know about him?” Penny asked. “What do you know about his dreams? His fears? His deepest, darkest desires?”

“We’re guys. We don’t talk about that stuff.”

“Exactly. You have me to talk to. Cal has me and Dani. Who does Walker have?”

“I don’t know. His buddies from the Marines?”

“Have you met any of them? Does he bring anyone around?”

He felt uncomfortable with the questioning. What was it about women and feelings? “Leave Walker alone. He’s fine.”

“He’s not, but I’m hoping he will be eventually.”

“THERE ARE MESSAGES!” Zoe said excitedly as Elissa climbed out of her car after work. “Me and Mrs. Ford listened to two of them when they called and there are even more.”

“That’s great,” she said as she closed the car door and bent down toward her daughter. “Don’t I get a hug?”

“Oh, Mommy.” Zoe hugged her quickly, then pulled on her hand. “Come on and listen.”

Elissa allowed herself to be dragged into the house. Sure enough, her normally quiet answering machine blinked excitedly. There were six messages and when Elissa played them back, they were all about ordering jewelry from her.

Apparently Dani and Penny had done more than just wear her creations, they’d talked about them. In the past ten days, Elissa had sold more than a dozen pieces and booked three at-home jewelry shows. If this kept up, she could actually start buying more expensive materials and open a savings account.

“You’re famous, Mommy!” Zoe said with delight. “Everyone knows your pretty work.”

“I guess so.”

The phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Elissa Towers, please,” said an unfamiliar female voice.

“This is Elissa.”

“Oh, hi. I’m Marcia Bentley and I’m in charge of booking people into the Labor Day Crafts Fair we have every year. Are you familiar with it?”

Was Marcia kidding? It was the biggest craft show in the state. Elissa had gone several times, mostly to get ideas, and she’d been overwhelmed by the variety and quality.

“Of course,” she said quickly. “It’s wonderful.”

“I’m glad you think so. One of my regulars has a family emergency and won’t be able to make it. I’ve heard so much about your work that I wanted to offer you her spot. It’s on one of the main aisles, very close to several food and drink vendors. Are you interested?”

Elissa sank onto a kitchen chair. Talk about a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. “Of course,” she said, barely able to speak from the shock of it all. “I’d love to be a part of the fair.”

“Good. If you’ll give me your address, I’ll get the contracts to you right away. You can sign them and send me back a check.”

Marcia filled in a few more details, then hung up with a promise to get the paperwork out that day.

When Elissa hung up, Zoe danced impatiently. “Who was that, Mommy?”

“A lady about the big Labor Day Craft Fair. She said I can have a booth.”

Zoe grinned. “That’s good, right?”

“It’s the best.”

Her daughter yelled with excitement, then ran through the open door in the kitchen to share the news with Mrs. Ford.

Elissa stayed in her seat and waited for her brain to stop spinning. This was incredible. Okay, yeah, the cost of the booth would set her back some, but she would more than make it up the first morning. Her biggest problem was inventory.

She got up and crossed to her workbench. Her finished jewelry was in boxes on an upper shelf. She would need several hundred pieces for that show—which meant hours and hours of work and using her emergency credit card to buy supplies, but it would be worth it. She could easily clear a couple thousand dollars and have enough money to pay off the bill when it arrived.

Talk about a lucky break. Or was it luck? Did Penny or Dani have anything to do with the invitation? Or Walker? She wouldn’t be surprised if it was him. This was exactly the sort of thing he would do.

She found herself wanting to share her good news with him, only he wasn’t home. These days he put in long hours at Buchanan Enterprises. She hadn’t seen him in nearly a week. She missed him. Funny, six weeks ago she’d barely known who he was. Now everything seemed to remind her of him.

Ever since she’d run away with Mitch and had ended up in Los Angeles, she’d accepted that her taste in men sucked. But now, with Walker in her life, she wondered if that had changed. Had she at last found a good one? A man she could trust to always be there for her?

Because that’s what she wanted—someone she could depend on to stick with her no matter what.

“YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO THIS,” Elissa said stubbornly as she locked her front door. “You’re busy. Go run your company.”

“I’m coming,” Walker told her. “You don’t know what’s going to happen.”

She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. “Bobby’s a kid.”

“He’s a guy and he’s eighteen. Anything could happen. You haven’t seen him in a long time. You don’t know anything about him.”

Walker had a point, if only a small one. “Fine. Waste your time pretending to be my bodyguard.”

“It’s my time to waste.”

He led the way to his SUV and held open the passenger door. Zoe and Mrs. Ford had gone to the local senior center for an afternoon of scrapbooking. It was Bring Your Grandchild day.

Elissa was silent until they reached the 405 freeway and headed south. She was meeting Bobby in a coffee shop by Southcenter Mall.

“It’s been a long time,” she said as she looked out the window. “I have no idea what he’ll look like. I was seventeen when I left. He was just a kid. He’ll be practically grown-up by now.”

“You can’t change the past,” Walker told her. “Regrets are a meaningless waste of time.”

“So you never have them?”

“I try not to.”

She was pretty sure everyone had regrets, whether about things done or left undone. If she’d known then what she knew now…

“I’m glad you came along,” she told him. “I don’t think Bobby is dangerous, but it’s nice to have company.”

He gave her a smile that made her insides quiver. What was it about this man that made her want to rip off her clothes and have at it right here in the front seat?

Sure he was good-looking, but that had never moved her before. So why Walker? Was it his strength, both physical and emotional? The way he always seemed to know when she needed a good rescuing? And speaking of that, when, exactly, had she lost the ability to get by on her own?

He mentioned something about one of the restaurants and they talked about work until he pulled up in the parking lot. Suddenly her stomach hurt and she wasn’t sure she could catch her breath.

“I’ve done my best not to think about my family for over five years,” she whispered. “Now that’s not possible. Do you think he’ll recognize me?”

“Have you changed much?”

She shook her head. “My hair is shorter. I used to wear it nearly to my waist. But that’s the only real difference. Well, I’m older, but let’s not talk about that.”

She opened the passenger door and stepped into the parking lot. No strange young men lurked there, so she followed Walker inside.

There was a tall, nice-looking teenager in the foyer. Elissa smiled absently at him, then turned away. It was only his gasp of surprise that had her looking back at him.

“Bobby?” she asked, unable to believe this tall, broad-shouldered kid was her skinny little brother.

“Hey, Elissa.” He tried to smile, but couldn’t quite make it happen. “How are you?”

“Shocked. Wow—you’re so grown-up.”

His eyes were the same, she thought in amazement. So was his mouth. But his hair was darker and longer, and he was so big. Suddenly she was grateful to have Walker along.

She didn’t know if she should hug him or shake hands. Neither seemed right so she settled for introducing Walker.

Bobby’s eyes widened. “I never thought you’d get married.”

“What? No. We’re just friends. Walker’s here for moral support.”

Just then the hostess walked up and asked if they would like a table. Elissa asked for a quiet one and they were led to a booth in the back. She slid in first, then Walker sat next to her. Bobby was across from them.

The waitress appeared promptly. Bobby got a soda, while she and Walker asked for coffee. When they were alone, Elissa leaned toward her baby brother and studied his face.

“You look so different,” she said.

“You don’t,” he told her. “Just prettier.”

“Very smooth.”

He shrugged. “I mean it. I’ve wondered about you. Ever since you called, I couldn’t stop thinking about you and wondering how you are. I c-couldn’t…”

Elissa was stunned when his voice cracked and tears filled his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “Elissa, I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I was just so mad. When you left…”

“You didn’t hurt me,” she said, not sure why he was so upset. “I’m the one who ran away.”

“I know…It’s just…” He gulped the glass of water the waitress had left. “You know how they always were. With me, I mean.”

She nodded, feeling more confused than anything else. “They loved both of us, Bobby. You had the added advantages of being the boy and being hard-won, but I know they cared about me.”

At least, they had. Before she’d run off and they’d turned their backs on her.

Once again she wondered—would it have made a difference if they’d known she was pregnant? Would they have reconsidered? She was torn between wanting to understand their position and her anger at parents who would leave a child alone on the streets.

“They did care,” he said earnestly. “I swear, Elissa. When you ran off, they went crazy. Mom cried for weeks. We put up flyers and offered a reward.”

She winced. This shouldn’t surprise her, yet it did and she felt more than a little guilty for what she’d put them through.

“I didn’t know.”

“It was bad,” he said. “Dad wouldn’t talk and Mom kind of lost it. She went away for a rest. I don’t know what really happened. When she came back, everything was different.”

Went away? Meaning what? A breakdown? Elissa didn’t know what to think.

“If they were that upset, why didn’t they want to talk to me when I called?”

“It wasn’t like that. Oh, God…” Bobby brushed his hands over his eyes and stared at her. “Elissa, I’m the one. It’s my fault. I never told them you called. When I said I’d talk to them, I lied. I didn’t say anything. I’m sorry,” he added quickly. “I was mad because it was like I didn’t exist anymore. I hated you for what you’d done. But later, I kept thinking about you, all alone, and how you’d wanted to come home and I was the reason you hadn’t.”

Tears poured down his cheeks now. Elissa didn’t know what to think. He hadn’t ever spoken to her parents? They hadn’t known she called? Maybe, just maybe, they hadn’t rejected her.

She felt as if the world had shifted on its axis. All these years she’d alternated between hating her parents and vowing she would show them that she was more than capable, that she had never needed them for anything. All the struggling. Living in the halfway house while getting bigger and bigger with Zoe. Barely making it year after year.

Rage filled her, chilling her body and making it impossible to accept or forgive.

“I was pregnant,” she said flatly. “When I called about coming home, I was pregnant, alone, broke and terrified.”

Bobby dropped his head and began to sob. “Elissa, I’m s-sorry.”

Sorry? He’d changed her life forever and he was sorry? She wanted him punished. She wanted him thrown out and forced to survive the way she had. She wanted blood and…

Walker took her hand in his and squeezed her fingers. “How old was he?” he asked.

Four words. Four simple words that put her world back in place and allowed reason to filter into her brain.

“Thirteen,” she said quietly. “Just thirteen.”

Thirteen and angry and stupid, she thought as Bobby continued to cry. An angry, stupid boy who had also had massive changes in his life.

She didn’t want to understand. She hated that she could see his side of things, but she did. Which meant she couldn’t hate him.

Oh, but she hurt inside.

“Do they know now?” she asked.

He shook his head. “I c-couldn’t say anything. I felt so bad about what I did, plus I thought it would hurt them more. They would know they’d missed their chance with you and it was all my fault.”

That sounded a whole lot more like he was covering his own ass than worried about his family.

“I didn’t tell them I’d found you,” he continued. “I didn’t know if you’d want me to.”

Her parents hadn’t rejected her. Her parents didn’t hate her. Maybe they never had. She felt tears in her eyes and a crazy desire to be in her mother’s arms. She wanted to be little again and never grow up.

Nothing was as she thought. All the decisions she’d made were based on something that might not be true.

“I worked all summer so I could hire a detective,” Bobby said, raising his head slightly and looking at her. “I wanted to find you and tell you the truth.”

He looked young and scared—two things she could relate to.

“Are you going to talk to them?” he asked. “They still miss you, Elissa. They don’t talk about you much, but your pictures are everywhere and at Christmas, they always fill your stocking.”

A couple of tears escaped and ran down her cheeks. Walker’s strong hand gave her something to hold on to and she squeezed his fingers as hard as she could.

She remembered her stocking. She’d made one for Zoe that looked just like it.

“My mom’s the one who taught me to sew,” she told Walker. “She could make anything.”

“She would be impressed with what you’re doing now,” he told her.

Maybe, she thought, considering the possibility for the first time. How odd. Nearly as strange as thinking she might not be alone in the world anymore. That she might have people she could lean on.

Just then the waitress appeared with their drinks. She set them down without saying anything and hurried away. No doubt the display of emotion made her uncomfortable. Elissa knew she wouldn’t want to be serving this table.

“What are you going to do?” Bobby asked tentatively. “Do you want me to tell them?”

“No,” she said slowly as she wiped away the tears. “I need time to think about all this. I guess I’ll go by and see them.” Should she do that? Should she call first? Dropping in on them didn’t seem right, but she wasn’t sure she could figure out what to say on the phone.

“Can you tell me when?” Bobby asked. “I want to be there to tell them what happened. I’m ready for them to know what I did.”

There was something in the way he said the words that made her think he meant it. Part of her crowed that it was about time, while another part of her appreciated his willingness to grow up and accept the consequences.

“Sure,” she said. “I have your cell number. I’ll give you a heads-up when I’m ready to make an appearance.”

He nodded, then swallowed. “I know you hate me, Elissa. I deserve that. But I hope, eventually, we can, you know, be close again.”

“I don’t hate you,” she said reluctantly. “I’m not happy about what you did, but I can almost understand it.”

Tears filled his eyes again. “Thanks. I, ah, wondered. Did you keep the kid?”

For the first time since walking into the diner, she smiled. “Yes, I did. Her name is Zoe. She’s five. Which I guess means you’re an uncle.”

Bobby brightened at the thought. “Yeah? Cool. Can I meet her sometime?”

“Sure.”

Suddenly she felt as if she’d run a marathon. Her body ached and she couldn’t seem to catch her breath. She dug ten dollars out of her jeans’ front pocket and tossed it on the table.

“We have to go,” she told her brother as she released Walker’s hand and slid out of the booth. “I’ll be in touch.”

Bobby scrambled to his feet where he topped her by at least six inches. “You promise?”

She nodded.

He leaned forward and wrapped his arms around her. She resisted the embrace for three heartbeats, then hugged him back.

Walker was silent on the way to the car.

“You have to tell me what you’re thinking,” Elissa said. “I can’t read your mind.”

“I want to beat the crap out of him.”

“I’d probably have to stop you, but I appreciate the support.”

He held open the passenger door. “You really think you could stop me?”

She stared into his dark eyes. “Physically, no. But I could try reason. Or a food bribe.”

“Pie might work.”

She smiled. “That can’t have been pleasant. Thanks for coming with me.”

“You’re welcome. How are you doing?”

“I don’t know. Everything is different. When I woke up this morning, I understood everything about my past and how it made me the person I am. Now that’s all changed. I’m angry and I can’t figure out why or at whom. Everything is different.”

“You’re still who you were before.”

“Maybe. But for how long? I’ve gotten used to being alone. Now I have a family again.”

“Is that a bad thing? You like being with people. Mrs. Ford, your friends from work.”

“That’s different. I chose them.”

As he walked around to his side of the SUV, she wondered if she’d chosen Walker or if he’d chosen her, and if, in the end, it would matter.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

WALKER MOVED THROUGH the large space. He wasn’t sure where he was—maybe a ballroom in a hotel. There were so many lights everywhere—lights and noise and the sound of women’s laughter.

He circled the crowd, aware of being out of place. He was thirsty and while there was a glass in his hand, he couldn’t lift it to his mouth and drink. Was it too heavy? No, it was his arm. He couldn’t move his arm.

The lights faded, then blurred. He couldn’t see the edges of the room, only the women. All of them suddenly facing him, staring, pointing. They were angry—he knew that much—but he couldn’t say why.

“I don’t know Ben,” one of them said, and he recognized her from one of his many “Ashley” visits.

“I don’t know Ben,” another said. He remembered her, as well.

Then he realized he knew all of them. He’d spoken to them and they hadn’t been able to help him.

“I don’t know Ben.”

They repeated the words over and over until he thought his head would explode.

“I don’t know Ben. He has no one. No one, not even you. You let him die. It should have been you. It should have been you.”

The voices got louder and louder. He tried to answer, to tell them he already knew it should have been him, but he couldn’t speak. He lashed out, but the women only came closer and closer. Finally he took a step back and then he was falling and falling only to wake up on the hard floor, his heart racing, his body aching and his soul dark and battered from the truth.

It should have been him.

ELISSA PARKED across the street from the familiar house and looked at the rambling two story where she’d grown up.

There were changes. The once-green siding was now beige. The pine trees flanking the west side of the property had grown even taller and the small Lexus parked in the driveway was nothing like the old Taurus station wagon she remembered.

Maybe she should have called, she thought as she turned off the engine. Maybe it would have been better to give her parents a little warning. The problem was, she hadn’t been able to figure out what to say. Just showing up would be shocking, but it would force a conversation.

She’d called Bobby earlier that morning and he’d told her both her parents planned to be home most of the day. So that was something. She wouldn’t be left standing alone on the front porch.

Knowing she was only wasting time, she pocketed her keys and walked to the front door where she rang the bell. She heard a faint “I’ll get it,” then the door opened and, for the first time in eight years, her mother stood in front of her.

Leslie Towers was just shy of fifty, with highlights in her brown hair and hazel eyes that Bobby had inherited. Elissa noticed a few more lines, but otherwise her mother looked exactly as she remembered her. Only more surprised.

“Hi, Mom,” Elissa said, wishing she hadn’t left her purse locked in her car. Holding it now would give her something to do with her hands. As it was she shoved them in her jeans’ pockets and tried to figure out what she should do next.

Tears filled her mother’s eyes and her mouth trembled. “Elissa?” she asked, her voice wavering. “Elissa, is that really you?”

Elissa nodded.

“Leslie, who is it?” her father asked as he walked through the living room. “I’m not buying any more magazines. We already get too many as it—”

He stopped next to his wife and stared. “Elissa?”

She nodded. “It’s me. A little older—and hopefully wiser.”

Her father, a tall man who wore glasses, reached toward her. “Elissa?” he repeated.

“Oh, Kevin,” her mother breathed. “She’s back.”

Suddenly Elissa found herself pulled into the house and into their embrace. She was hugged and squeezed until she couldn’t breathe, but breath didn’t seem important just then. She closed her eyes and felt as if she’d finally, finally come home.

There were tears all around. Elissa hadn’t expected to cry, but there she was. Bobby appeared and joined the group hug, then they separated and there was a moment of awkwardness.

“I don’t know what to say,” her mother admitted, staring at her. “I can’t believe you’re here.”

“In the flesh,” Elissa said with a small shrug.

Her parents exchanged a glance as if not sure what to do next. They seemed happy, yet wary, which made Elissa wonder again if she should have phoned ahead and warned them she was coming.

“Let’s go in the kitchen,” her father said.

Her mother nodded, then led the way.

“Sit, sit,” her mother told everyone as she pushed Elissa into a chair at a glass-topped table. “I’m sorry. I’m in shock, I think. I can’t seem to figure out what to do next. Are you all right? Are you hungry?”

“I’m fine,” Elissa said, glancing around. Gone were the tile countertops and the harvest-gold appliances. Now the kitchen counters were dark granite and the ovens and cooktop a gleaming stainless steel. “You remodeled the kitchen.”

“About four years ago. I couldn’t stand scrubbing that awful grout or dealing with the stove anymore.” As she spoke, she pulled out a pitcher of iced tea and several glasses.

Elissa’s father took the seat across from hers and reached for her hands. “How are you really?” he asked.

The contact felt both familiar and strange. She squeezed his fingers. “I’m good, Dad. How are you?”

“Fine. Fine. Still at the bank, of course.”

“Your father’s been made district manager,” her mother said proudly.

“Wow, that’s great, Dad.”

Her mother carried the iced tea glasses to the table. “Come join us,” she told Bobby who hovered in the background.

He reluctantly took the fourth chair.

Elissa accepted a drink, then sipped while everyone stared at her.

There was a surreal combination of old memories and a new situation. She wasn’t sitting in her usual chair. The view was wrong, even discounting the remodel. But she couldn’t remember where she usually sat.

“You’ve grown up,” her father said.

“You’re so pretty,” her mother told her. “You’re all right? Healthy and everything? Do you have a job?”

“I’m good. I’m a waitress and I make jewelry on the side.”

Saying it all aloud made her want to cringe. She’d been raised to believe she would go to college and have a career, not work in a diner and barely get by. Still, she’d survived on her own under difficult circumstances and she refused to apologize for that.

“So you don’t need money?” her father asked.

Elissa stiffened. “No, Dad. I didn’t come here for money or anything. I wanted to get in touch with you.”

“Kevin, don’t,” her mother said. “Elissa’s back. That’s a good thing.”

“I know that,” her father said. “I’m happy. It’s just…” He frowned. “You were gone for so long. We didn’t know what happened to you. Your mother…”

“I missed you,” Leslie said, interrupting him and smiling. “Where do you live now? In Washington?”

Elissa remembered what Bobby had said about her mother having to go away for a rest. Had she had some kind of emotional collapse? Guilt settled in her stomach. If something had happened, Elissa’s disappearance was the reason.

“I live here. In Seattle.”

“Seattle?” Her mother’s mouth trembled. “So close. For how long?”

“A few years now.”

“But you n-never…” Leslie pressed her fingers to her mouth. “I see.”

Elissa’s father released her hand. “You didn’t want to call and let us know you were all right? You didn’t think that was important?”

Bobby swallowed and stood. “That’s my fault.” He cleared his throat. “Mom, Dad, I have to tell you something. I’m really sorry. I know you’re going to be angry and upset and I can’t blame you. What I did was wrong.”

Both their parents stared at him. “This isn’t a good time, Bobby,” Leslie said, her voice shaking. “Not a good time at all.”

Kevin put his hand on her shoulder. “Just relax, Leslie. We’re fine. Everyone is fine.”

Bobby shifted his weight and looked as if he would rather be run over and left for roadkill than speak. “I, ah, I’m the reason Elissa never got in touch with you before.”

As Elissa still didn’t know how she felt about what Bobby had done, she didn’t feel the need to come to his rescue now. She kept quiet while he explained her phoning and what he’d told her.

Her mother turned back to her. “Elissa, no! How could you believe that of us? Of course we wanted to talk to you, have you come home. Do you know what we went through? Do you know how hard it was? How horrible?” She stood and faced her son. “Bobby, why? You saw. How could you have kept this from me?”

She took a step, then gasped and sank back in the chair. Kevin was at her side in an instant.

“Leslie?”

“I’m fine.”

Elissa half rose, then sat down. “Mom, are you all right?”

Her mother gave her a shaky smile. “Of course. This brings back so much. Don’t worry about me.”

The words said all the right things, but the darkness in her eyes told another story. Her leaving had changed everything, Elissa thought unhappily, and not for the better.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m so sorry I ran away. I should have called.”

“You should have come home,” her father snapped.

Elissa stiffened.

“She tried,” Bobby said. “Don’t blame her, blame me.”

His willingness to take all the responsibility surprised her. “It wasn’t just that,” she told her brother. “I shouldn’t have left in the first place.”

“I’m better, Kevin. I’m all right,” her mother said, then patted her husband’s hand. “It was that boy, wasn’t it? The one you were dating.”

“Mitch,” Elissa said. “Yeah, he’s the one I ran away with. We ended up in L.A.”

“I knew it,” her mother said, fighting tears. “I just knew it.”

“We looked in Los Angeles,” her father said. “There were too many kids down there. On the streets, in shelters.”

Elissa hated thinking what they must have gone through. “I wasn’t in either place. I lived with Mitch for a few months. Then we broke up and I got a job with another band.” She decided to gloss over the more sordid aspects of her earlier life. “It turns out I had a great knack for finding cheap accommodations and making other travel arrangements, so that’s what I did. I was paid in cash and usually rented a room in an apartment with a bunch of girls, so there’s no way you could have traced me.”

There was that look again, between her parents. What were they thinking? That she was nothing but a disappointment? That they’d expected no more of her?

“I can’t believe you thought we wouldn’t want to talk to you,” her mother said. “I loved you, Elissa. You were my daughter.”

Elissa did her best not to read too much into the past tense of the words. “I know, Mom. I was young and stupid and…” She almost said scared, but quickly changed it. “Confused. I felt a lot of guilt and what Bobby told me actually made sense at the time. Looking back, I know I should have asked more questions.”

Her mother pointed to the empty chair. “Sit down, Bobby. What you did was wrong, but we’ll talk about it later.”

Her brother did as requested, but he looked as if he wished he could disappear. For the first time since hearing his story, Elissa felt compassion for him. What he’d gone through couldn’t have been easy.

“I screwed up big-time,” she said honestly. “I’m so sorry. If I could change what I did, I would.”

Her mother attempted a smile. “It’s all right. You’re home. That’s enough, isn’t it, Kevin?”

Her father nodded slowly, as if he would need more convincing.

Elissa’s throat tightened. Somehow she’d expected open arms and unconditional acceptance. Not questions and a messy past.

Her mother drew in a breath and squared her shoulders. “So, what brought you back to Seattle?”

Interesting question, Elissa thought, not sure how much she wanted to tell her parents. “I got pregnant,” she said, knowing there was no point in hiding that. “That’s why I called home. I was scared…anyway, it all worked out.”

Her mother paled. “You have a baby? I have a grandchild?”

Elissa nodded. “Her name is Zoe. She’s five and about to start kindergarten. She’s wonderful, Mom. Smart and funny and curious about everything.”

“A grandchild? Oh, Kevin.” The tears started again.

“You named her Zoe?” her father asked, his voice a little warmer now.

“After Grandma Zoe.”

“She would have liked that,” he said gruffly.

“Who’s the father?” her mother asked. “I take it you two aren’t together anymore?”

“He’s dead,” she said, knowing there was no point in trying to explain the Neil portion of her life. Sometimes she still didn’t understand it herself.

“But he was a rock singer?” Her father asked the question in the same tone of voice he would use to ask if she recently picked up head lice.

“And a songwriter.” She drew in a deep breath. “I know I made a lot of mistakes. Everyone does—mine just had permanent consequences. But I survived. I have a good life. Zoe and I are happy together. I made it and I guess I owe a lot of that to what you taught me when I was growing up.”

“If you’d respected what we’d taught you—” her father said, but her mother cut him off with a shake of her head.

“What made you come back now?” her mother asked.

Elissa looked her brother. “Bobby hired a private detective to find me. He wanted me to know what he’d done and try to make things right. Once I knew you hadn’t turned your back on me, I wanted to get in touch.”

“Of course we wouldn’t turn our backs on you,” her mother said. “Elissa, you’re our daughter and we love you. We’ll always love you. No matter what.”

Would they? Did they? Then why had the detective who found her been hired by her brother rather than her parents? In L.A. she’d been living off the grid, but in Seattle she had a job, an apartment, credit cards. She wouldn’t have been that hard to track down. Neil did it on a regular basis. But they hadn’t.

She knew in her heart that if something had happened to Zoe, she would never have stopped looking, no matter what. So what had made that different for her parents?

ELISSA SPENT THE REST of the afternoon working on her jewelry and thinking about the meeting with her family. While they’d said all the right things and had expressed interest in meeting Zoe, she couldn’t help feeling that something was off.

Maybe it was her. Maybe her fantasy of the homecoming was so based in perfect television families that she couldn’t deal with reality. Maybe she was wishing for the moon.

Needing someone else’s counsel, Elissa waited until Zoe was asleep, then walked up to Walker’s apartment.

“I understand that we have an undefined relationship and that we both agree that we’re not getting involved,” she said when he’d opened his door. “But I like to think we’re friends, and right now I need someone to talk to, so you’re going to have to suck it up and be that person. Do you have a problem with that?”

He stared at her for a couple of seconds, grinned, then asked, “Do you want me to bring liquor?”

“Sure. If you have it.”

“I’ll be right down.”

He appeared at her front door less than a minute later. She sighed in appreciation at the bottles of vodka and tonic he brought nearly as much as the way he looked in worn jeans and a loose T-shirt. There was something to be said for a winning combination of potentially mind-numbing booze and male eye-candy.

“You have ice?” he asked.

“Always. I even have a lime.”

She led the way into the kitchen where she got out her ice tray, then collected two glasses. Her lime was a naked little thing, huddling in the fruit basket.

“I used the zest earlier,” she said as she sliced it into eighths. “We had Caribbean tacos for dinner. Lots of citrus.”

He poured, she squeezed, then they silently toasted each other. She took a drink, then sighed as the cold, tart drink settled in her stomach.

“Perfect.”

He led the way into the living room. When they were both settled on the sofa, he asked, “What happened?”

She took another drink. “I went to see my parents today. It was weird. Like being in a time warp. Everything was nearly the same, but it wasn’t. I felt uncomfortable and angry and confused. My mom is different. More emotionally frail. My dad was critical. I wanted a big party to celebrate my homecoming and all they had were questions.”

“In some ways it’s easier not to have to answer to anyone. Now you’re back in their lives. There are going to be explanations and misunderstandings. None of you are the same.”

“I get that. Time has passed. But I feel like everything is my fault. I’m the one who left and set this all in motion.”

“You’re only responsible for yourself.”

“Am I?” She clutched her drink in both hands. “I think my mom had a breakdown or something. That’s my fault.”

“No, it’s not. Her reaction to the situation is her responsibility.”

“Isn’t that like saying if I hit someone with my car, their injuries are their fault because they weren’t fast enough to get out of the way?”

“Not the same at all. Yes, you ran away and there were consequences. But you can only be blamed for some of them. If she lost it because you ran away, then she wasn’t strong in the first place.”

“That’s a little too tidy for me. What I did pushed her over the edge.”

“Why do you feel it necessary to take on all the pain?”

Good question. “Habit, maybe. I’m always the one responsible.”

“With you and Zoe, sure. But not anywhere else. I’m not saying you were right to run away. It was a dumbass teenage response to whatever was going on. But you made it and without a lot of outside help. That’s good. Yes, your parents suffered and you’re the reason. But you didn’t make your mother have a breakdown. There was something already in her that caused that.”

“I hope you’re right. My guilt card is pretty full.” She sipped her drink. “Family stuff is never easy.”

“I know.”

“You never talk about your parents. Just Gloria and the siblings.”

“Sounds like a rock band,” he said. “No parents. They died a long time ago. They weren’t very close. I guess they’d been in love once, but by the time I was aware of their relationship, they were just going through the motions. My dad drank a lot. I think it was to escape from his mother. My mom was quiet—sad, I guess. Gloria made her life hell in more ways than we’ll ever know.”

She hated thinking Walker hadn’t had a wonderful childhood. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I had my brothers and Dani. We were there for each other.”

“That’s something. I can picture the four of you banding together against the evil queen.”

He smiled. “No one ever called her a queen, but there were plenty of other names.”

“I won’t ask.”

“I stayed away from her as much as I could. So did Reid. Cal and Dani tried to make it work with her. Cal even went into the family business out of college. He lasted longer than I would have. Dani got her master’s and came back home, prepared to run the empire. Gloria stuck her in Burger Heaven and never let her out.”

“Why? Dani’s great. Please don’t tell me it’s a woman thing. That only men can run the company.”

Walker hesitated, then said, “Dani’s not a Buchanan. Our mother had an affair with some guy. Dani is the result. We knew, but Dani didn’t. Gloria couldn’t forgive her for not being a Buchanan. It’s the ultimate sin.”

“I’d never have guessed,” Elissa said, shocked by the revelation. “I won’t say anything, of course.”

“I appreciate that. The truth is coming out, but Dani’s still dealing with it herself.”

“Isn’t it funny how one moment in time changes everything? If I’d only come home after Mitch and I broke up. If one of my parents had answered the phone instead of Bobby.”

“If Ben hadn’t pushed me aside and taken that bullet.”

She looked at Walker and saw he hadn’t meant to say that aloud.

“How much do you think about that?” she asked.

He shrugged. “It should have been me.”

“Why? Why do you think it was your time and not his?”

“Ben had something to live for.”

“Don’t you?”

Is that what caused Walker to hold back? He didn’t think he was worthy? She supposed it was possible, but why would he believe that? What had happened to put him on that path?

“I get by,” he said at last.

“You do more than that.”

He shrugged. “I’m running out of Ashleys. What if I don’t find her? I owe him that.”

“You’re trying. He would understand the effort.”

Walker finished his drink, then looked at her. “Ben was like a puppy. He was always sniffing around, wanting to be friends. He wanted to hang out together, do things.”

She read the truth in his eyes. “You didn’t.”

“He was a kid. We had nothing in common.”

“You feel guilty.”

“Maybe,” he admitted.

“Is finding Ashley going to make up for what you didn’t do while he was alive?”

“No,” he said simply, “but it might let me sleep at night.”

His pain called to her. Maybe it was a female thing. Maybe it was a mom thing. Or maybe it was just how she felt when she was around him. Regardless of the cause, she put down her drink and moved closer.

“It’s not your fault,” she said, cupping his face in her hands and staring into his dark eyes. “You didn’t kill him.”

“It should have been me.”

“You keep saying that. It’s not as if the bullet had your name on it. It was circumstances, a quirk of fate. Yes, it’s horrible that Ben’s dead, but your suffering doesn’t bring him back. Based on the little you’ve told me about him, he wouldn’t want you doing it, either.”

“I don’t know. I think he might get a kick out of it.”

“Don’t be smart with me, mister.”

One corner of his mouth turned up. “Or you’ll what?”

In less time that it took for light to travel across the room, the mood shifted. What had been friendly and sharing became charged with emotion and sexual energy.

She was aware of how close they were, how she leaned against him and how her fingers touched his face. She could feel his heat and the stubble on his cheeks. His gaze locked with hers, drawing her in, grabbing her with the erotic threat of never letting her go.

Suddenly she didn’t want to be let go. She was tired of being sensible and thinking things through. Yes, he was the wrong man, but so what? She was used to that. She would deal with the consequences later.

She shifted so that she was on her knees, then dropped her hands to his shoulders. At the same time, she leaned in and pressed her mouth against his.

He had to have known what she was going to do and for a second she wondered if he would resist. But the instant her mouth brushed his, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her onto his lap. Then she was sprawled across him, his tongue in her mouth and his hands everywhere.

He kissed her deeply, sensually, plunging into her as he mimicked the act of lovemaking. At the same time, he ran his palms up and down her legs. His long fingers seemed to touch every inch of her as they moved teasingly close to the apex of her thighs, then drifted away.

She clung to him, needing to hold something solid as her mind darted from sensation to sensation. She hadn’t been with a man since she’d left Neil and given birth to Zoe. Long-dead nerve endings exploded to life and begged for the sustenance of Walker’s touch.

Her breasts swelled and her nipples got so hard, they hurt. Between her legs she felt a gush of moisture. Her insides were heavy.

He broke the kiss and nibbled his way along her jaw. She tilted her head to give him more access, inviting him to continue. At the same time she longed to rip off her clothes so they could get right to it. She was ready—hell, she’d been ready for years.

He put his hands on her waist and urged her to sit up. Not sure what he was doing, she complied, only to have him shift toward the center of the sofa and then position her so she straddled him.

At first the beauty of the situation escaped her. Then, as she leaned in to kiss him and she felt his hands slide from her waist up her rib cage, it all became clear.

Even as his tongue circled hers, teasing, playing, inviting, he cupped her breasts. His large hands covered her curves. Exquisite pressure had her moaning. Every inch of her was so sensitized, she thought she might pass out from the pleasure of him touching her like that. When he brushed his thumbs against her nipples, it was all she could do not to scream.

Sensation rocked her. Her skin was on fire, yet she was so hungry, nothing was enough. She deepened their kisses, needing everything he had for her. He met her demands and clamped his lips around her tongue, then sucked hard.

More, she thought frantically. She needed more.

He read her mind, or maybe just the way she writhed against him. While he kept one hand on her breast, he moved the other between her legs.

Even through the layers of panties and jeans, she felt the pressure of his fingers. She pressed down and he pressed up and when he found that one spot of pleasure, she groaned.

A very tiny, sensible part of her brain told her this was not a good idea. That she would regret this later. But the part of her that had done without for so long didn’t really give a damn.

So when he unfastened the button on her jeans, she didn’t protest. And when he moved her to one side, she helped push them down. And when he slipped to the floor between her legs, turned to face her and bent low to kiss her intimately between her thighs, she could only breathe a prayer of thanksgiving.

The man knew what he was doing, she thought in relief as he pressed his tongue against her swollen center. He moved slowly, leisurely, forcing her to keep pace with him when her choice would have been to run as fast as possible to the finish.

He circled around, then returned to that one spot and began to lick it over and over. At the same time, he slipped a finger inside of her and rotated it.

One finger. That was all, but it was enough. Her muscles clamped around it and held on. Deep in her belly she felt a pulsing kind of tension. The kind that warned her she wasn’t going to hold on for very long.

“No,” she moaned. “Not yet.” She had to make this last longer than thirty seconds.

But she couldn’t. Not when he continued to rub his flat tongue against her sensitive flesh and she could feel his hot breath on her. Not when he thrust in and out of her, teasing her into an arousal that was surely going to make her explode.

She clutched the edge of the sofa and tried to think of something mundane. Laundry. Yeah, laundry. Then she imagined him taking off his clothes so she would do the laundry. She imagined him hard and naked and plunging into her and she was gone.

At the first contraction, she drew her legs apart, exposing all of herself to him. She moaned, she held in a scream, she begged him never to stop.

When she’d wrung every last bit of pleasure from the experience, she put her feet on the floor and wondered what on earth she was supposed to say. Getting naked hadn’t been on her to-do list, despite all the fantasies she’d had about him.

He rested a forearm on her bare thigh, kissed her belly and said, “I’d like to take credit for that, but I think it’s more a reflection of how long you’ve been out of the game.”

She felt a blush climbing her cheeks. “Yes, well, I’m sure it’s both.”

He rubbed his thumb across her mouth. “It just happened, Elissa. It doesn’t have to mean anything.”

Which meant what? That it didn’t mean anything to him or there was no pressure?

Her gaze dropped to his very obvious erection. “And for our second act,” she said lightly.

“No second act.”

He stood and then pulled her to her feet. She felt very strange, standing there naked from the waist down.

“I wanted to do that,” he said. “I don’t get to do it enough.”

“But…”

“No buts.” He kissed her forehead. “I’m a guy who doesn’t want to get involved. You’re not the fuck-and-run type.”

Okay, but who would be doing the running? Him or her?

“We can’t just leave you like that,” she said.

“I’ve been through worse.”

“But we could…” Her voice trailed off as she wasn’t sure what she was offering.

“No, we couldn’t. Trust me. This is better.”

And then he was gone. The front door closed behind him, leaving her feeling exposed in more ways than just being undressed.

What had just happened? How could he do that to her and just leave?

CHAPTER TWELVE

REID GLANCED at the résumé in front of him. Sandy Larson, age thirty-five. She had a bunch of initials after her name, which he assumed was a good thing for a nurse.

So far he’d had three interviews with women who were qualified, but didn’t come close to having personalities that could stand up to Gloria. He was already bored with the process, so he was thinking he’d just hire them and call it a day.

Someone knocked on his office door promptly at ten-thirty. He glanced up and saw a tall, large-breasted blonde with big green eyes and a smile that could light up Chicago.

“It really is you,” she said with a laugh. “When I got the information from the service and they said Reid Buchanan, I’d hoped, of course, but I never dreamed I’d actually get a chance to meet you.”

She strolled into his office, her hips swaying in obvious invitation. “I’m Sandy and I’m a huge fan.”

He stood and walked around his large desk. “Really. Follow the game?”

“Less now that you’re not playing.” She held out her hand. “This is a real thrill for me.”

He took her fingers in his and held them longer than he should have. When the welcome in her eyes didn’t fade, he knew he was in.

“So you’re a nurse,” he said, leading her to the sofa in the corner.

“Uh-huh. About twelve years now. I did ten in a hospital and then I went into private duty nursing. I get to meet the most interesting people…like you.”

He sat down next to her on the leather and angled toward her. “My grandmother is a very demanding woman.”

“That’s okay. I’ve had crabby patients before. Mostly they’re mad about something. I’ve found if I can figure out what, I can deal with them.”

“Intuitive and smart. You’re quite a package.”

She smiled. “Do all the women fall for your lines?”

“Yes. Are you going to be an exception?”

“Now why would I want to do a stupid thing like that?”

ZOE WAS AS EXCITED as if it were Christmas morning. She’d climbed into Elissa’s bed shortly after five in the morning and demanded to know how long until they left.

While Elissa wrestled with a lot of unresolved feelings and questions, her daughter felt only the thrill of suddenly discovered grandparents. Now there was more family, potentially more people to play with and go out with and visit with. So many of her videos and DVDs involved extended families, and now Zoe could be a part of all that. Elissa understood her excitement and tried to respect it, but somehow she couldn’t shake the tightness she felt in her chest.

Of course it was hard to know how much of that was about her parents and how much of it was about what had happened with Walker. While she couldn’t regret the pleasure he’d given her, the circumstances were a little confusing. He’d been aroused, and she didn’t think he was involved with anyone. So why had he walked away like that when she’d made it clear she was interested in making things mutual? Were his reasons about her? Should she start getting a complex or checking out her butt in a mirror?

Considering the ice cream she’d downed after he’d left, the latter wasn’t a very good idea. And in an effort to be rational she had to admit his reasons might not be about her at all.

She paused in the act of stroking on mascara. “I need a vacation.” She shook her head, finished applying her makeup, then walked into her bedroom to get dressed.

Zoe had been ready since six-fifteen and she hadn’t gotten that way quietly, which meant Elissa had been up way too early after a fairly late night. Not that she’d slept. One would think that much pleasure would be mind-numbing, but not in her case. She hadn’t been able to stop thinking about what had happened.

“Mommy, hurry,” Zoe said from the doorway.

Elissa glanced at the clock. It was barely after eight. “Honey, we can’t get there until at least nine, which means we aren’t leaving until about eight-forty. Can you keep yourself busy until then?”

“Okay.”

Her daughter disappeared. Elissa debated what to wear. Jeans seemed too casual, but she didn’t want to put on a dress. Still, it seemed important to make a good second impression. Maybe khakis and a blouse.

Fifteen minutes later she’d chosen her clothes and had even used a round brush to give her hair a little curl. As she put away her blow-dryer, she realized the apartment was very quiet. Too quiet.

A quick search told her Zoe was not inside. Elissa stepped into Mrs. Ford’s kitchen, but her place was dark and still. Panic exploded as she debated what to do next, when she heard footsteps overhead. Not unusual, except that this time there were two sets.

As it was unlikely that Walker had left her living room and gone out to find someone to share his bed, she had a good idea who his visitor was.

Seconds later a smiling Zoe opened Walker’s door. “I told him about my new grandma and grandpa and he wants to come with us. Then he can meet them and they can meet him. Isn’t that great, Mommy?”

Elissa had planned to avoid her sexy neighbor for at least ten days. She didn’t know what to say after what had happened. “Thank you” seemed weird, but not acknowledging the subtle but measurable movement of the earth seemed rude.

The object of her musings stepped behind Zoe. “She’s pretty excited about all this,” he said.

Simple, polite words. Nothing to indicate that the previous night he’d kissed her so intimately, he’d made her see stars.

“She had me up at five,” Elissa said, then held out her hand. “Sorry she came up here to wait. Come on, honey, we should go finish getting ready.”

“I asked Walker to come with us,” Zoe said, ignoring her mother’s hand. “He should come with us. Grandma and Grandpa will want to meet him, too.”

Walker watched the emotions chase across Elissa’s face. She hadn’t planned on seeing him again so quickly, not after the previous night. She was embarrassed and confused and he would guess she didn’t understand why he’d ended things the way he had.

He wondered if she would feel better if she knew how hellish his night had been and how many times he’d started down the stairs to finish what they’d started.

He hadn’t acted and he wouldn’t tell her how tempted he’d been. This way was better—this way was safest for all of them. He knew who and what he was, while all she saw was what he let her.

“Zoe, Walker doesn’t want to come meet my parents,” Elissa said. “I’m sure he has plans and even if he doesn’t, he would be a complication.”

Right. Someone she would have to explain and with everything going on with her parents right now, not a good idea.

He crouched down and smiled at Zoe. “I’ll go another time.”

“Now,” the little girl said stubbornly. “Mommy always lets me bring a friend. You’re my friend, too.”

“Zoe, no,” Elissa said flatly. “We’re going now.”

Her daughter took her hand and allowed herself to be led away. Walker told himself it was better this way. That both he and Elissa needed time.

But five minutes later she was back on his porch.

“I have a flat,” she told him, not looking him in the eye as she spoke. “I replaced the second rear tire, but I didn’t get a spare. Randy’s place won’t open for a while and I was wondering if you could give me a ride to my parents’. I don’t want to explain a cab and I don’t really want them here.”

He found it interesting that she was more willing to deal with him than have her family at her house.

“I’m happy to,” he said. “I’ll drop you off and then come get you when you’re finished.”

She raised her gaze to his. “No. If you can stand it, you might as well come in.” She sighed. “I meant that to come out more graciously than it did.”

“I understand.”

“Do you? Do you know how confusing all of this is? A month ago I didn’t know who you were. Three months ago, you weren’t even living here. I don’t know what happened last night—I mean I know, but I don’t understand why you didn’t…”

She shook her head. “Damn. I promised myself I wouldn’t get into this with you. It’s just hard. I keep going to the typical weenie female response, wanting to know if it was my fault.”

“It wasn’t,” he told her, not sure how she could ever think it was.

“I didn’t think so. But it’s not…Men don’t do that sort of thing and then leave.”

“Agreed.”

“Are you going to tell me why?”

“Mommy, I’m ready,” Zoe called from downstairs.

“Let me get my keys,” he said, more than willing to use the distraction.

Before he could turn away, she touched his arm. “You weren’t the one who…You didn’t do anything to my tire, did you?”

He wasn’t surprised by the question. In her position, he would have wondered the same thing.

“If you have to ask,” he said slowly, “then isn’t it better that things ended when they did?”

“WILL GRANDMA MAKE cookies sometimes?” Zoe asked from the backseat of his SUV. “On TV grandmas always make cookies.”

“I’m sure she will,” Elissa told her. “My mom makes the best peanut butter cookies.”

“Yeah!”

Zoe practically danced with excitement but Walker sensed Elissa wasn’t quite so enthused. Her tension grew with each passing mile. When he turned onto her street and headed for the house she’d pointed out as theirs, he half expected her to bolt from the car.

He parked and a middle-aged couple stepped out of the beige house. Elissa released her seatbelt.

“We’re here,” she said in a bright voice thick with tension.

Walker got out and walked around to the passenger side. He opened the door for both Elissa and Zoe. Elissa grabbed his wrist and dug her nails into his skin.

“You’re staying.”

He didn’t know if she meant it as a request or a statement. Either way, he nodded.

“Hi,” Elissa said with a smile. “Mom, Dad, this is my friend Walker. He lives in my building. I had a flat this morning and he gave me a ride. And this is Zoe.”

Elissa reached for her daughter, but the five-year-old wasn’t standing next to her. Walker glanced down and was shocked to see the child hovering just behind him.

Elissa crouched down. “Honey, it’s okay. Don’t be scared.”

“It’s all right,” Elissa’s mother said, staring at the little girl with a painful mixture of hope and disappointment. “It will take her a while to get used to us.”

Elissa’s father stepped toward Walker. “I’m Kevin. This is my wife, Leslie.”

Walker shook his hand. “Good to meet you, sir.”

They were ordinary people who had lived normal lives. No doubt they had loved their daughter as much as they could and hadn’t understood why she’d run away. He wanted to tell them it wasn’t their fault. When you least expected it, life took a shit on your head. People died or stopped loving you or went away. And it wasn’t anyone’s fault.

But he knew they wouldn’t understand.

Leslie Towers crouched in front of Zoe. “Do you know who I am?” she asked.

Zoe put one hand on the back of Walker’s leg. “My grandma.”

“Then you know it’s my job to love you and spoil you, right?”

Zoe nodded without speaking.

“Do you like cinnamon rolls?” Leslie asked.

Zoe nodded again.

“I just made some. Would you like to help me put on the icing?”

Another nod.

“Good.” Leslie stood and held out her hand. Walker found himself in the unfamiliar position of encouraging Zoe to go with her grandmother.

Elissa moved close. “Thank you,” she said in a low voice. “I guess the excitement only lasted until reality set in. She’ll be okay now.”

“What about you?”

“We’ll have to see.”

AN HOUR AND A HALF LATER, breakfast was over and Walker found himself in Kevin’s den, ostensibly to watch a baseball game, but in truth to be grilled by Elissa’s father.

Walker wanted to tell him there was no point to this—that he wasn’t going to be in Elissa’s life very long, that he wasn’t someone she was going to settle for, but he knew the other man wouldn’t understand.

“What sort of work do you do?” Kevin asked when they were seated in matching recliners.

“I left the Marines a couple of months ago. Right now I’m working in the family business. We own a few restaurants.”

Kevin frowned. “Buchanan’s?”

“That’s one of them.”

“Impressive. Good. Elissa needs a steady sort of man in her life.”

Walker wished he were back in Afghanistan. “Elissa and I are just friends, sir. As for the type of man she needs, you’re going to find she’s a very different person than you remember. She has put together a life for herself. With time you’ll see—”

Zoe ran into the room and headed directly for him. As she scrambled up onto the seat, he put his hands under her arms to help her.

“They’re fighting,” she said, her eyes wide. “Mommy and Grandma.”

Kevin sighed. “I was afraid of this. I’d better go see what’s going on.”

Walker nodded, but his attention was on the child. Why had she run to him?

She sat on his lap as if she’d done it a thousand times before. As if he were a part of her life.

“Grandma wanted to know what Mommy was really doing with those rock bands,” Zoe said in a low voice. “Mommy got all choky and said she hadn’t done anything wrong. Grandma said something about dugs and I ran away.”

He suspected the comment had been about drugs rather than dugs, but he didn’t correct her. She was five and didn’t need to know the difference.

“Why is Grandma mad at Mommy?”

How to answer that? “They didn’t talk for a long time,” he said slowly. “When people don’t talk, they get confused.”

“So if they talk now, they’ll stop being mad?”

“It may take a little time.”

“How long?”

“I don’t know.”

She sighed, then leaned against him. “I’m never going to stop talking to Mommy.”

“Good for you.”

He spoke without thinking, intensely aware of her slight weight as she relaxed against him. Just like that—as if she were safe. As if he would never hurt her or abandon her. As if she could trust him.

DANI TYPED on the computer, pulling up previous specials. She agreed with Penny’s philosophy of not repeating items on the same menu. Obviously popular specials would be offered again at The Waterfront, but she was determined to make sure there was a different mix of soup, salad and entrée specials every time.

Normally the head chef would handle this, but Edouard refused to take on any more responsibility. He was already complaining about the longer hours while Penny was out on maternity leave. Luckily, Edouard was nearly as good a chef as he was a complainer.

It was late, after midnight, and the only sound came from the front of the store where the cleaning team made their way through the dining room. Dani liked this time of night, when she could feel that she was one of only a handful of people still awake. It was like being part of something special and unique.

She hit a few more keys, then sent the file to the printer. The menus would be easier to compare when she could lay them side by side. After all, there was a lot on the line for her. She wasn’t just filling in to help a friend, she was adding substance to her résumé. Once Penny had the baby and returned to the restaurant, Dani would be moving on. Right now she had the pleasure of knowing how much her presence here made Gloria crazy, but that wasn’t a reason to make a career choice. In a couple more months she would be ready to go out and do her own thing.

She rose and crossed to the printer on the far side of the office. As the machine silently spit out paper, she heard someone walking down the hall. She stuck her head out and saw Ryan leaving his office. At the sight of him, her stomach flipped over a couple of times.

“You’re working late,” she said, hoping her smile said “I’m a friendly colleague” and not “boy, do I have a crush on you.”

“I could say the same thing.” He walked toward her. “I’ve been running numbers for the first half of the month. What’s your excuse?”

“Specials for the menu. I don’t want to duplicate an exact selection we had before. How are the numbers?”

He stood in front of her, close enough that she had to tilt her head slightly to still meet his gaze.

“Excellent. We’re still filling up most nights, which makes me wish there was a way to expand the dining room.”

Dani winced. “Not without making the kitchen bigger. We’re running at capacity back there. You bring in any more customers and the chefs will be cooking in the alley.”

“We could barbecue back there,” he said with a grin. “People would think it was nouvelle cuisine.”

“You underestimate our customers.”

“Maybe.” He looked up. “What about expanding to a second floor? I’ll bet there’s room up there. We could put in a second kitchen.”

Dani considered the possibility. “It’s a huge renovation and speaking from experience, you’ll never get Gloria to go for it.”

“Gloria isn’t in charge right now.”

“Unless you can get it done before she’s back, I’d suggest you wait.” She frowned. “To be honest, I have no idea what Walker would think of the idea. If you’re serious, I guess you could run it past him.”

“I might.”

He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. The light brush of his finger on her skin made her shiver.

“Why Walker?” Ryan asked quietly. “Why aren’t you in charge of Buchanan Enterprises? You have the brains, the education and the experience. You could have done a hell of a job.”

His words pleased her even as she knew there was no way she was going to tell him the truth about her family. Not yet. It would only break the mood, plus she’d yet to find a casual way to throw “hey, did I mention I’m not really a Buchanan” into a conversation.

“How do you know all that about me?” she asked instead.

“I checked out your file.”

“Really? I’m not sure I approve of that.”

He shifted until they were almost touching. “I wanted to know more about you.”

Words to get lost in, she thought as her gaze locked with his. Suddenly it was difficult to breathe and she found herself wanting to place her hands on some part of his body. At the moment, pretty much any part would do.

“You could have just asked,” she pointed out.

“All right. I will.” He bent down and brushed her mouth with his. “Tell me everything.”

Which, under other circumstances, would have been an excellent plan. Only right now, she was too busy savoring the feel of his mouth on hers and loving the way he wrapped his arms around her.

He drew her against him. She let herself lean against his hard body. She parted her lips and he teased her tongue with his own.

They were kissing, she thought in amazement. Kissing and everything about the experience was so different from being with Hugh. It had been ten years, she thought hazily since she’d kissed anyone else. Ten long years that had ended in broken promises and too many tears on her part.

“I should have done this ages ago,” she murmured.

Ryan raised his head. “Done what?”

“Kissed you.”

MONDAY MORNING WALKER woke up in a crappy mood. He wasn’t sure of the cause. Maybe the awkwardness yesterday between himself and Elissa was to blame. Maybe it was the need to keep moving that had begun to bother him more than usual. Maybe it was the growing sense that he wasn’t going to be able to find Ben’s Ashley.

Whatever the cause, he started the day ready to rip someone’s head off. As that wasn’t possible, he did the next best thing. He visited his grandmother. The way he was feeling, Gloria couldn’t do much damage.

He found her on the cardiac care ward, in a large private room. She was sitting up in bed, several pillows behind her head. The TV was off and a book lay on the table next to her, but when he entered the room, she was staring out the window.

“It took you long enough to visit,” she said by way of greeting.

“Good morning. How are you feeling?”

“I’ve had a heart attack and I broke my hip. How do you think I feel?”

“But your spirit remains intact.”

She glared at him. “I’ve spoken with the doctors. I should be leaving here in a few days. Apparently there is no way around two weeks in a skilled nursing facility. But once the break heals enough, I’ll be going home.”

“So he told us. Reid is already looking into hiring private duty nurses.”

“Reid,” she said with a sniff. “How wonderful. I’ll have attendants with large breasts and no brains. That should speed my recovery.”

He smiled for the first time that morning. “Reid will choose competent people,” he said, thinking they would also have to be patient and thick-skinned to deal with Gloria for eight hours straight.

“What’s happening at the company?” she asked. “What changes are you making? I know you are, so don’t try to deny it. You won’t be able to resist meddling.”

“Business is great,” he said easily, ignoring the insult as he pulled up a chair and sat down. “No one has quit in nearly a week.”

“You say that like it’s a good thing. If they’re too feeble to handle the pressure, they should go.”

“Why do you feel compelled to frighten your staff?” he asked conversationally. “Who does it help?”

“I don’t frighten them. I have high standards.”

“You have a love of terrorizing.”

“What do you know about business? You’ve been playing soldier for the past fifteen years.”

More than playing, he thought. But he wasn’t going to get into that with her. Despite the tough words, she looked…frail. Not a word he would have ever used to describe Gloria. But it was true. She was pale and without her carefully applied makeup, she seemed much older. Her white hair hung limp and even in what he would guess was a designer nightgown, she appeared small and helpless.

“You’re not still seeing that woman, are you?” she asked. “She’s a complete waste of your time.”

All his worry for her evaporated. “Not your business,” he told her, not willing to give her the pleasure of saying he wasn’t. Not in the way Gloria thought.

“I forbid it,” she told him.

“By what power? Are you going to fire me?”

“I’m your family. You will respect me and do what I say.”

“Not so much,” he said as he stood. “I’m going to head to the office now. I’m sure Cal and Reid will be by soon.”

“As they should,” she told him. “But not Dani. Tell her I don’t need to see her. She’s not family.”

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

ELISSA TOSSED ASIDE the tiger’s eye she’d been working with. The small stone bounced on the desk and came to a stop by a few freshwater pearls.

Nothing was going the way it should tonight, she thought irritably. She felt more restless than creative. How had everything gotten so out of hand so quickly? Her life used to be relatively simple. Sure, it was a financial struggle, but everything else was fine. Suddenly she was dealing with family and Walker and too many orders for her jewelry. Although based on how Walker had bolted after taking her tire in to be fixed, she had a feeling he was going to be less of an issue in the future.

Which was starting to piss her off. How dare he do that to her and then disappear? It wasn’t polite. It wasn’t reasonable. Why did he get to decide?

Zoe was already in bed, so when Elissa heard Walker drive up, she hurried to her front door and stepped out into the night. She waited until he was nearly at the stairs leading up to his apartment, then said, “I’d like to talk to you.”

He didn’t appear startled, which probably meant he had known she was there all along. Had he planned to just walk past her without stopping?

She motioned to her open front door, then waited until he’d gone inside to follow him. But once they stood facing each other, she suddenly didn’t know what to say.

“How was work?” she asked, feeling stupid.

“Good. Busy. I stopped by to see my grandmother and that always puts things in perspective.”

Gloria Buchanan was not a topic to make Elissa sleep better that night.

“I…I’m sorry you had to come to my parents’,” she said, which wasn’t at all what she’d planned but now seemed appropriate. “It can’t have been comfortable.”

He shrugged. “It wasn’t that big a deal.”

“I hadn’t realized they wouldn’t accept my statement that we were friends. My father admitted he grilled you.”

“It’s a guy thing.”

It was a waste of time. She wasn’t looking and he wasn’t interested. She got that. Well, part of her did. Her body continued to ignore the message.

“Thanks for talking to Zoe,” she said. “I don’t know why I thought I could reconcile with my family and not fight with my mother. It’s scary the way we’ve picked up right where we left off. Shouldn’t the eight years apart have made a difference?”

“It will. Give it time.”

She motioned to the sofa. “Want to sit down?”

She thought he might refuse, but then he surprised her by taking a seat. She sat across from him in the club chair.

“She won’t believe anything good,” Elissa told him. “I explained that while I was with a rock band and even sleeping with a member of the band, I didn’t get into drugs. She’ll accept that I slept around and didn’t mean to get pregnant, but she won’t believe me about the drugs. She kept asking if I was still using and did I want Zoe exposed to that. I hated it.”

“Maybe she’s trying to help.”

“Could she do it in a less annoying way?”

“Maybe she doesn’t know how.”

“I hate it when you’re reasonable.” But this wasn’t what she wanted to talk about. “Why did you do it?”

He drew in a deep breath. “Can’t you accept it and let it go?”

“Not really.” She opened her mouth, then closed it. “I don’t know what to think. We’re neighbors and you’ve been great. You’ve helped me and Mrs. Ford, and Zoe likes you. I know you’re worried about getting too close to her and I appreciate that. You’ve made it clear you’re not interested in anything with me and I have a plan to avoid men for another thirteen years, so I’m okay with that. But something has happened here and not talking about it isn’t going to make it go away.”

“Are you angry? Do you want me to apologize?”

“No to both. I just want to know why.”

He was quiet for so long, she began to think he wouldn’t answer. She had the feeling he was going to simply walk out and she would never see him again.

But finally he said, “I didn’t plan on leaving the Marines when I did. I was going to stay in until they kicked me out because I was too old. But one day I woke up and I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t kill, I couldn’t send men off to die. There was already too much blood. So I left and I came home. Only there isn’t a home anymore. I have my brothers and Dani, I have money, but there’s nothing else. Nothing permanent.”

His emptiness burned her with an aching cold.

“I do it on purpose,” he continued. “I stay away, disconnected. It’s my choice. But sometimes there are temptations I can’t resist. Like you.”

Elissa thought of herself as many things, but never a temptation. “Me?” she squeaked.

He shrugged. “The way you move, the way you smell, how you never give up. I knew better but I wasn’t willing to act on that. I made love to you because I needed to, Elissa. I needed to kiss you and touch you. I wanted to know what you felt like. How you tasted.”

She felt herself blushing and getting aroused. His words were as powerful as his touch had been.

“Then why did you stop there?” she asked.

“Have you ever been in love?”

The question came out of nowhere. “I…No. I thought I loved Neil, but I loved what I wanted him to be.”

“I have. Once.”

Unexpected pain cut through her. Something dark tightened her chest. “Who is she?”

“Her name was Charlotte and she was my high school girlfriend. I took one look at her and knew I was going to spend the rest of my life with her.”

Elissa got a bad feeling inside. She wanted to stop him talking, but at the same time she was desperate to know what had happened between them.

“She transferred in my junior year of high school,” he continued. “She was beautiful. Tall with red hair and the biggest green eyes I’d ever seen. I introduced myself and I guess she felt it, too, because we were together every minute after that.”

“Sounds nice,” Elissa managed through a very dry throat.

“It was. I knew she was the woman I was supposed to marry. We decided to go to college in California together and then get married after graduation. I never had to propose, we both just knew. We were each other’s first time, the night she turned seventeen.”

Elissa had to force herself to sit still. She wanted to curl up in a ball and press her hands to her ears. She wanted to order him out of her apartment and demand he never return.

Instead she listened.

“One afternoon when we were making love, I felt something in her breast. It hadn’t been there before. I told her and she told her mom and she went to the doctor. It was cancer. Breast cancer.”

Elissa blinked. “But she was too young.”

“That’s what we all thought. But there are about five hundred cases every year in women under twenty. Charlotte was one of them.” He shifted so he sat on the edge of the sofa and rested his elbows on his knees.

“She had a lumpectomy. Because she was so young, the doctors didn’t want to take her breast. No one knew, except me. I remember walking next to her in the hallways, careful to keep on the side where she’d had her surgery so no one would bump her. I remember how she cried the first time we made love afterward, how she was afraid I wouldn’t still love her and how long it took for her to believe that I would never stop.”

Elissa drew in a shaky breath. She didn’t know what to think, what to feel. The knot in her gut told her the story wouldn’t end well.

“It came back,” he said flatly. “By April of our senior year they realized their mistake in treating the cancer so conservatively. It was back and it was everywhere. She was given less than six months to live.”

He stared at the floor. “She couldn’t tell me herself. She had her mother do it. I was scared, so scared. I didn’t want to believe it and then I knew I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t watch Charlotte die. She knew it, too. When I went to go see her, she saw it in my eyes. She cried and I cried and she told me to go away and never come back.”

“But why? To spare you?”

He nodded. “I knew she needed me. I knew she wanted me to stay. But I pretended her words made it okay and I ran.” He raised his head and looked at her. “I told everyone I went into the Marines to screw with Gloria, but that’s not true. I went in because I couldn’t stand to watch Charlotte die. I disappeared the day after graduation. I never called, I didn’t leave a note. I just walked out on her.”

Elissa hadn’t seen that coming. She stiffened in surprise.

“Her mother called me,” he said. “She begged me to come home. She said Charlotte needed me. It would just be for a few more weeks. That this was her baby and she would do anything to convince me. She asked for herself. Charlotte never said a word. I joined the Marines and went to boot camp.”

“When did she die?” Elissa asked softly.

“August. She wrote me a letter saying she loved me and knew I loved her. I couldn’t bring myself to read it for a year. I never saw her family again. They moved away.”

He stood and moved toward the door. “That’s who I am, Elissa. I’m the guy who couldn’t be there for the woman I loved. I would have died for her, but I didn’t have the balls to watch her die. Don’t trust me with anything important because there are better than even odds I’m going to let you down.”

He stepped out into the night and was gone.

Elissa let him go. She sat alone in her living room and cried. Whether it was for herself, Walker or a brave young woman who had faced too much too early, she couldn’t say.

“WE’RE HAVING an intervention,” Mindy said the following Tuesday when she, Elissa and Ashley had locked the front door of the diner. Frank had already left to go to the bank and the cleaning crew wouldn’t be there until later, so it was just the three of them.

“For who?” Elissa asked, although she had a good idea.

“You.”

Ashley nudged her onto a stool at the counter, then crossed to the ice-cream freezer and grabbed a scoop.

“You’re not yourself,” Ashley said. “It’s been coming on for a while, but in the past couple of days, something’s gone very bad.”

Elissa winced. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make it so obvious.”

“And yet you did,” Mindy said with a grin. “Come on. You know we love you. Tell us what’s wrong.”

Elissa hesitated more because she didn’t know where to start than because she felt like keeping secrets.

“It’s that guy,” Ashley said. “Isn’t it?”

“Partly. It’s also about my family. My parents. They live here in Seattle.”

Both women stared at her openmouthed.

One of the things Elissa had liked best about working here was the lack of questions about her past. It was understood that everyone had secrets and they weren’t expected to share them. Now she gave her friends the Cliff Notes version of her past, starting with her running away and finishing with her Sunday-morning visit with her folks.

“I don’t know what I think about any of it,” she admitted. “I’m confused. On the one hand, it’s nice to have family again, but on the other, I don’t know. Now they know I’m here and we’re involved and I’m the one who ran away so why am I so angry with them?”

Mindy moved next to her and gave her a hug. “Because they went on to have lives that didn’t include you. Because they didn’t suffer enough.”

Elissa had a feeling she was right. “I hate thinking that. It’s shallow and selfish.”

“It’s human. You went away and the world went on. Look how much you changed. They changed, too. It’s going to take time to figure out this new relationship.”

Elissa nodded, then accepted the chocolate milk shake Ashley passed her. “I’m just so confused. It’s not just them. It’s Walker.”

Ashley and Mindy exchanged a glance. “I knew it had to be a guy,” Mindy said. “He seemed the likely candidate.” She dipped a spoon into her milk shake. “He’s good-looking, has money and is single. What’s the problem?”

“I would just like to make it clear that this is a theoretical discussion. I’m not actually interested in a relationship.”

Ashley rolled her eyes. “Of course you’re not.”

Elissa ignored that. “He’s emotionally unavailable. He’s told me and told me and now I’m thinking maybe he’s telling the truth.”

“If you don’t want a relationship, that matters why?” Ashley asked.

Elissa winced. “Did I say theoretical?”

“I don’t think it’s a theory anymore,” Mindy told her. “Do you?”

Elissa didn’t know how to answer. A week ago she might have admitted interest. But now…

Hearing about Charlotte had changed everything. He’d abandoned the one person he claimed to love. That scared her.

“I want someone who’s going to be there,” she said slowly, more to herself than them. “I’ve done the narcissistic, self-absorbed guy relationships already. I don’t want that. I want…”

“You want it all,” Mindy said with a sigh.

“Don’t we all?” Ashley said. “Someone who makes us laugh, who is supportive and willing to be there through the tough stuff. Why is that so hard to find? I’m willing to do the same for the guy in my life.” She sipped her milk shake. “Is it guys or is it us?”

“It’s a pain in the ass,” Mindy said. She looked at Elissa. “How bad is it? Are you completely in love with him or can you still escape, emotionally I mean?”

Elissa dropped her spoon into the glass. She felt her eyes widen and her mouth drop open. “I am not in love with him.”

“Uh-huh.” Mindy shook her head. “Whatever you do, don’t sleep with him. Women tend to bond when they do that. I hate it, but it’s true. God knows when I sleep with a guy, everything changes. I think it’s hormones—some biological need to mate. I read about it once. Whatever it is, avoid it.” She frowned. “You haven’t slept with him, have you?”

“Of course not,” Elissa said hotly, confident that what they had done didn’t count. At least not technically.

“I told you,” she continued, “I’m not getting involved.”

Ashley smiled. “I hate to be the one to break the news, but you are involved and it doesn’t seem to be getting any better. You’re going to have to deal with it, and him.”

“There is no us. There’s barely a him,” Elissa insisted.

“Keep saying that,” Mindy told her. “Maybe one day it will be true.”

WALKER PARKED IN FRONT of The Waterfront. The restaurant wouldn’t open for several hours, but he was there for a meeting with the new general manager.

As he stepped out of his SUV, his cell phone rang.

“Buchanan,” he said.

“Hi, it’s Vicki. I’m sorry to bother you but you had a call from a gentleman named Bob Rickman. He says you’ll know who he is.” She read off the number.

“I’ll take care of it,” he said and hung up. He hadn’t talked to Bob in a couple of years, not since he’d left the Corps to start his own security company.

Walker punched in the number and asked for his friend. He was put through immediately.

“I heard you were out,” Bob said, his voice hearty and loud. “I thought you’d be in until they carted you away in a box.”

“Me, too, but things changed.”

“Apparently. Hey, what are you doing with yourself?”

“Running the family business.”

Bob laughed. “That won’t last. I have a better offer. I’m expanding, Walker, and I need good people. People like you. I’m talking big bucks and international security in some pretty dangerous places. Long hours with plenty of compensation. Island vacations, hot-and-cold running babes, you name it. You could make a fortune working for me.”

“Or get dead,” Walker said easily. Death was the downside. The upside was when he saw men with guns, they would be real.

Bob laughed. “Sure, nothing’s free, but you’re smart. You know how to keep your head down. Besides, it’s not as if you’re going to make it where you are. Come on, Walker. I know guys like you. Hell, I used to be one. The civilian world is all well and good, but we’re not like them. We live on the edge. This is where you belong.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Don’t say no,” Bob told him. “Think about my offer. You have my number.”

“I’m not going to change my mind.”

“Give it time. You’ll get bored and I’ll be waiting.”

Walker disconnected the call. Maybe Bob was right—maybe he never would fit in here, but he wasn’t going back.

He crossed the walkway and entered the restaurant. It was cool and dark inside. He could smell garlic and something simmering that made his mouth water.

But instead of thinking about food, he found himself thinking about Elissa. He hadn’t seen her in several days, and he didn’t expect to for a long time. Not after what he’d told her. Now that she knew the truth, he understood she would want to keep her distance from him.

He made his way to Dani’s office. The door was partially closed. He pushed it open without knocking and saw his baby sister locked in the arms of the new general manager.

“I must be early for our meeting,” he said wryly as they both turned to stare at him.

“Sorry,” Dani said with a grin as she stepped away from Ryan.

Walker ignored his sister and kept his attention on the other man. Ryan straightened and offered his hand.

“Walker,” he said.

“Ryan.”

They shook. Walker wanted to squeeze until he heard bones pop, but he resisted the momentary pleasure.

Ryan and Dani exchanged a glance. “It’ll be okay,” she told him. “Give me a minute.”

Ryan nodded and left her office. Dani turned to Walker.

“Don’t yell at him.”

“Interesting behavior.”

Her humor faded. “I mean it, Walker. Okay, yes, you’re right. This isn’t something we should be doing at work, but we were and so what? It doesn’t hurt anyone.” She paused and her smile returned. “I like him. He thinks I’m sexy and after what happened with Hugh, I deserve that.”

He could have resisted almost anything but Dani’s smile. “Is it going anywhere?”

“I don’t know. I want to say yes, but we haven’t known each other for very long and I’m still going through my divorce. So I’m not sure. But given my choice, I’d want it to be.”

“Don’t get hurt,” he told her.

“I won’t. This time I’m keeping my heart out of play until I’m sure. But what we’re doing is really nice.”

“I don’t want details.”

“Are you sure?”

“Oh, yeah.”

It was good to see Dani happy again. Hugh had been a real bastard, first asking for a divorce—after Dani had nursed him and supported him for ten years—then blaming the breakup on Dani. That was bad enough, but finding out he was cheating on her, as well, had made things really tough.

“I should let you get to your meeting,” she said.

“It should be your meeting.”

“No, I don’t want the job. I mean it,” she told him. “When Penny’s back, I’m leaving. Right now it’s fun to thumb my nose at Gloria. I know it makes her crazy to have me here, but eventually, I’m going to want to get back to my actual career.”

“Anything I can do to help?”

“Not at the moment. You’ll always be there for me. I appreciate that.” She smiled. “Don’t get mad at Ryan for being involved with me. It’s not his fault. I’m just too darned irresistible.”

SATURDAY MORNING ELISSA checked Zoe’s small suitcase three times.

“I have everything,” her daughter told her patiently.

“I know. I just want to be sure.” Elissa ignored the fact that anything forgotten could be delivered in less than thirty minutes—much like a pizza. “You’re going to have a good time,” she said, much more for herself than for Zoe.

“I know.” Her daughter beamed. “Grandma and Grandpa are taking me to the zoo this afternoon. And we’re making cookies and then we’re watching TV tonight. It’s gonna be really, really fun.”

“It is.”

Elissa had been looking forward to the time alone. She could use it to work on inventory for the craft show. But now that it was actually time for Zoe to leave, she didn’t want her to go.

“This is your first sleepover,” she said. “It might seem strange at first.”

“Mommy, I’m five. I can do this.”

Before Elissa could answer, her mother pulled up. Zoe ran to the front door and flung it open.

“I’m ready,” she called.

Elissa moved more slowly, trying to think up excuses to keep Zoe home. Unfortunately, nothing came to her.

She walked to the open door and smiled. “Hi, Mom.”

“Hi, girls.” Her mother turned to Zoe. “Are you ready?”

“Uh-huh. I’m packed. I even brought my sleep teddy.”

“Good for you.”

Elissa picked up her suitcase and then put it down. “It’s her first time away from home,” she said. “She’s only five.”

“She’ll be fine. Don’t worry. I’ve raised children of my own.”

“I know. It’s just…”

Her mother waited patiently, but Elissa couldn’t say what it was. So she shrugged and carried Zoe’s suitcase to the car.

Zoe followed with her worn bear and placed it carefully on the backseat. Then she ran back to the house.

“I’m going to say goodbye to Mrs. Ford,” she yelled.

“Okay.” Elissa crossed her arms over her chest and waited until Zoe disappeared into the house before turning to her mother. “She likes a glass of water before bed. Not a big one, or she’ll have to get up. And sometimes she doesn’t eat all her dinner, which is fine. I never make her finish it.”

“I know all this,” her mother said. “It’s what I did with you.”

“Okay. Right.” Elissa couldn’t shake her feeling of dread. “Look, I think it’s too soon. Zoe’s too young and we need more time for her to get to know you.”

Her mother’s hazel eyes narrowed. “More time? You mean the time I would have had if you’d come home when you’d found out you were pregnant? The time I would have had if you’d never run away in the first place?”

Elissa took a step back. “What?”

“I’ve done my best to be patient and understanding,” her mother said in a low angry voice. “But don’t push me, Elissa. I’m hanging on by a thread.”

“You’re hanging on? What have you got to be upset about?”

“What? How about the fact that my daughter disappeared for eight years? Eight years. We didn’t know if you were dead or alive. One day you were simply gone. Do you have any idea what that was like? Do you know how many nights I waited, desperate for a phone call or any word at all, yet terrified of what it would be? I half expected them to find your body. But they didn’t and in a way the not knowing was worse.”

Her mother’s voice was heavy with emotion and she looked as if she were going to cry at any moment. At that point, Elissa didn’t much care. It was all she could do to ward off the unexpected attack.

“All this time you were fine,” her mother continued. “Completely and totally fine and you couldn’t be bothered to let us know. Do you know not a day has gone by that I haven’t thought about you, prayed for you, wondered where you were and what you were doing? Do you know what your incredibly selfish disappearance did to our family? To your brother? He lost his childhood. We were so busy looking for you that we couldn’t spend time with him.”

“I called,” Elissa said quietly, unable to deal with her mother dumping on her this way.

“Talking to a thirteen-year-old boy doesn’t count,” her mother yelled. “Why didn’t you talk to me or your father? Why didn’t you call back? Do you know the pain you caused us? Do you know what it was like to take your picture to the police, to put up posters, to offer a reward? Do you know that they told us you were probably dead and that we should try to get on with our lives?

“I could have forgiven you,” her mother said. “With time. But you have a child, Elissa. You know what it’s like to love a baby, to hold her in your arms. You know how big that love is and how it never goes away. You knew and you still didn’t call me. You still left me in pain.”

Something inside of Elissa burst open and years of pain flew out.

“You stopped looking,” she screamed back. “You stopped looking! I’ve been here for five years and it took that same teenage boy to find me. I was right here but you had already stopped looking. You stopped caring. You went on with your life. I would never stop looking for Zoe. Never!”

Her mother stared at her. “You say that now, not understanding what I’ve been through. Do you know why I stopped? I had to. I had a breakdown. Your father came home one day and found me curled up in the corner. I couldn’t deal with losing you anymore. So I went away and they medicated me and I learned not to hurt so much.”

“By giving up,” Elissa said bitterly. Her worst fears had been confirmed. She wasn’t sure whom she hated more—herself for making this all happen or her mother for not being strong enough to keep looking no matter what.

Her mother’s mouth tightened. “You’re right. I gave up.”

Zoe bounced through the front door and ran toward the car. “I’m ready,” she yelled.

“I’ll have her back tomorrow by six,” Elissa’s mother said, then she helped Zoe into the car and fastened the seat belt.

Elissa felt as if she’d been hit with a steel beam. Even her bones hurt. Emotionally, she was an open, raw wound. She could barely wave back when Zoe called “Goodbye.”

The small Lexus backed out of the driveway, then drove down the street. Elissa felt herself begin to tremble. Her muscles gave way and she would have fallen, except for a strong pair of arms that caught her.

She recognized the scent and feel of the man, even as he picked her up and carried her into her apartment. When Walker put her gently on the sofa, she allowed herself to lean against him.

“You heard,” she whispered.

“The whole block heard.”

“I live to entertain my neighbors.”

“You’ve been pretty quiet to date. I think you were due.”

She tried to smile, but couldn’t. Then she raised her face and stared into his dark eyes. “Why does it hurt so much?”

“Because life’s a bitch.”

“I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to make it better.”

And then the man who had warned her he couldn’t be trusted bent his head and kissed her.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

ELISSA KNEW THIS was a bad idea. The last time she and Walker had started down this path, things had gotten out of hand and she’d ended up feeling hurt.

But he kissed her so gently, so carefully, that she wasn’t sure how to resist. Still, when he drew back slightly, she opened her eyes and said, “Don’t be a jerk again.”

One corner of his mouth curved up. “I promise. I’ll be a perfect gentleman.”

“I’m not sure I want that, either.”

“Then what do you want?”

An interesting question and one she didn’t know how to answer.

He leaned in and just before his mouth brushed hers he said, “Please, Elissa.”

The quiet plea was more than she could withstand. She gave in to both the request and the touch by placing her hands on his chest and parting her lips.

He swept his tongue into her mouth. He tasted of coffee and something sweet. He smelled like soap. He’d obviously recently showered because his hair was damp and his skin freshly shaven.

While his tongue circled hers, teasing, arousing, exciting, she rubbed her palms against the hard planes of his chest. Beneath the worn T-shirt and smooth skin was a layer of muscle that rippled with her every touch.

Suddenly she wanted to be touching that skin. She tugged on the shirt. He broke their kiss long enough to pull it over his head. Then he grabbed her hands and pressed them against his body, as if he needed to feel her caressing him as much as she wanted to be doing it.

As she explored his chest, his shoulders and arms, he bent over her. He kissed her jaw, then along her neck. One arm came around her. He rested his other hand on her belly, then moved it slowly up to her breasts. Her nipples tightened, her insides grew heavy and between her legs she felt both heat and moisture.

Then his mouth was on hers again. Deep kisses took her breath away. She lost herself in the sensations he created. He used his hand to lazily explore her breasts. He brushed against her nipples, one at a time.

Fire shot through her. Fire and need and a desperation that made her feel both weak and powerful.

“I want you,” he breathed. “Elissa. I want you.”

They were words to soothe a battered soul. She nipped his lower lip, then stood and held out her hand. He rose and allowed her to lead him down the short hall to her bedroom.

She hadn’t bothered to make her bed, but the tangle of sheets and blanket didn’t seem to be a problem. The second they came to a stop, Walker sat down and pulled off his athletic shoes and socks. As she watched, he unfastened his jeans, then pushed them and his boxers down and stepped away from his clothing.

He was the most beautiful man she’d ever seen. His chest was smooth and highly defined by muscle. Several scars, some old and faded and some still angry and red, marred his warm skin. His chest tapered to a narrow waist that naturally led the eye to a very impressive erection jutting toward her.

Her insides tightened in anticipation. It was all she could do not to rip her clothes off and beg him to take her right there. She’d been without for so long, she could barely remember what it felt like to have a man inside of her, filling her over and over again until she had no choice but to surrender.

And while that was her goal, a woman had to be practical.

“Condoms,” she said as she ripped open her nightstand drawer and started rooting around.

Behind her, Walker swore. “I didn’t think to bring any. I have some upstairs.”

“I think I have some, too.”

She could practically hear him raising his eyebrows. “What happened to the no-man plan?”

“It’s a goal, but I’m human. I can be weak from time to time. In case that happened, I wanted to be prepared. Aha.”

She drew out a small box from under a tube of hand cream and held them up.

He walked toward her, relieved her of the box and put the condoms on the nightstand.

“Only three,” he said. “Not nearly enough.”

If he’d been trying to impress her, he’d done a fine job. While she was still absorbing his complaint, he drew her T-shirt over her head and made quick work of her bra. Even as he bent down and drew one hard nipple into his mouth, he unfastened her shorts and pushed them off, along with her panties.

She clutched his head, not wanting him to ever stop that delicious sucking. With every tug, a ribbon of need spiraled from her breast to between her legs. She was already swollen and wet and the hunger he’d satisfied the last time they’d been together returned full force.

“Walker,” she breathed. “I want you inside.”

He raised his head and looked at her. “Now?”

She nodded. “It’s been a long time.”

He eased her toward the bed. She stretched out on the mattress.

“How long?” he asked as he put on a condom.

“Since before Zoe was born.”

He knelt between her thighs. “You meant what you said, then. About avoiding men and relationships.”

“Oh, yeah.”

She expected him to ask her why she’d changed her mind and was grateful when he didn’t. Instead of speaking, he slipped a finger inside of her.

Instantly her entire body tried to tighten around that single finger. Wanting made it nearly impossible to breathe.

He slid out and then pushed in two fingers. She felt herself stretching slightly. He frowned.

“I thought having a baby made things looser.”

“They, ah, sewed me up afterward.” Something she hadn’t considered. “This could be interesting for both of us.”

He smiled. “I like interesting.”

He bent over her and kissed her. As his tongue danced with hers, he reached for one of her hands and drew it to him. She caressed his erection, then spread her legs and guided him to her.

She was slick and wet and ready, and incredibly tight. Even as she fought against the need to come right that second, she felt herself stretching as he slowly filled her. The pressure was nearly unbearable, in the best way possible.

He broke the kiss and swore softly. “You’re killing me.”

“Is it uncomfortable?”

“Not in the way you mean. How the hell am I supposed to keep from coming?”

“Think of England.”

He gave a strangled laugh that was part groan, then pushed in that last inch.

She rotated her hips and consciously contracted, then relaxed her muscles. When he withdrew and pushed in again, this time she took him more easily. By the third thrust, she gave herself over to the desperate screams of her body and grabbed him by the hips to pull him in deeper. He gave a hard push and she felt the first rippling surrender of her release.

“Oh, yes,” she cried as her orgasm claimed her.

He groaned. She felt him get harder, but he continued to fill her over and over again, pushing her through waves of her release. She clung to him, lost in the pleasure, begging him to continue until he gave a cry of his own and stiffened.

WALKER LAY ON HIS BACK and pulled Elissa against him. She rested her head on his shoulder and lightly traced one of the scars on his chest.

His heart had finally slowed to normal, something he hadn’t been sure would happen after he’d lost control. His plan had been to last longer. His plan, like hers, hadn’t amounted to much.

“That was nice,” she said.

“Ouch.”

She raised her head and smiled at him. “Is this a guy ego thing? Should I gush?”

“Gushing would be nice.”

“It was great.”

“Closer.”

She put her head back down and moved her fingers to another scar. “It’s been so long, I wasn’t sure I’d remember where everything went. Thanks for helping with that.”

He smiled. “You’re welcome. Are you going to ask?”

“About?”

“The scars. Do you want to know what happened?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

She raised her head again. “Let me guess. Your other women were all aquiver to hear how close you came to death.” She drew in a breath and spoke in a high-pitched voice. “Oh, Walker, this one looks nasty. Tell me every little detail about what you went through.”

“So you’re not interested.”

“We just shared one of life’s greatest intimacies. Why would I want to break the mood by asking about a time when you were in horrible pain and nearly died?”

“Most women find it romantic.”

“Then you need to move in another circle, big guy.”

He chuckled. “I like your style.” He liked a lot more than that, but he didn’t want to get into that now. Instead he said, “Turn over.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Not even for money.”

“I’ve already seen it.”

“Then why do you need to see it again?”

“I’m curious.”

“It was a mistake.”

“It’s cute. Come on. I’ll show you mine.”

“You don’t have one to show.”

He touched her nose. “I have other things I could show you.”

She sighed and shifted away so she could flop on her stomach. “Fine. Just don’t make any cracks and don’t comment on my ten extra pounds.”

Why did women worry about crap like that? “There aren’t any,” he said, then leaned over until he could stare at the tiny red heart and the single tear below it on her hip.

“Why this?” he asked.

“It was right before I knew I was pregnant but after I’d finally come to realize Neil would never love anyone but himself and that he couldn’t even love himself as much as his next fix. It was a metaphorical statement, I guess. I thought I loved him.”

“You didn’t?”

“No. Not even close.” She turned onto her back and smiled at him. “I didn’t really know what love was until I had Zoe. She changed everything. I’m not even sure why I had her. Neil pressured me to get an abortion. I hadn’t thought about having kids, but when I found out I was pregnant, I just couldn’t get rid of the baby. So I took what money I’d managed to keep hidden from Neil and ran away.”

He stroked her hair, then rested his hand on her bare belly. “Where did you go?”

“A halfway house. I got a job cleaning and doing laundry. They let me stay while I had Zoe, then I saved enough for a bus ticket and came back here. I think, in the back of my mind, I figured if I moved to Seattle, my parents would be able to find me. I wanted them to still want me.”

“They did. Bobby lied, remember?”

“They had a funny way of showing it. Anyway, I got a job and a studio apartment. I’ve worked my way up to this place.”

“You’ve kept it all together. You should be proud of that.”

“I am. I like my life. Mrs. Ford is great. She’s made a big difference for Zoe and me.”

“You’ve made a difference for her. You’re family.”

She’d filled in what was missing all by herself. He admired that…and her.

“What happens now?” he asked. “With your mother.”

“I don’t know. She has to be furious and I’m still pretty pissed off myself. I guess we’ll deal with it as it comes.”

As she spoke, she stretched. Her body arched and her breasts rose toward him. Not one to refuse that kind of an invitation, he bent down and took one nipple in his mouth. She moaned. Wanting grew inside of him as his dick went from zero to sixty in less than two seconds.

He released her and stood. “Come on,” he said, pulling her to her feet.

“Where are we going?”

“The bathroom.”

Two minutes later they stood under the hot spray. He positioned her so the warm water raced down her body, then picked up the bar of soap and rubbed it between his hands. When he’d built up enough lather, he put his hands on her breasts and circled them. He brushed her nipples with the center of his palm, then with his thumbs. She trembled and let her head fall back.

After the water had washed away the soap, he leaned in and licked her nipples over and over, then lightly bit down, making her gasp. At the same time, he lathered up again, then slid one hand between her legs. The slippery soap allowed him to slide over her most sensitive area, rubbing it, then circling it. She parted her legs and reached out to brace herself on the shower walls.

But he wasn’t done with her. Once again, he allowed the water to wash away the soap, then he dropped to his knees and eased between her legs.

His erection pulsed with each heartbeat, but he ignored the pressure to take her again. That would happen, he was sure of it. This was about pleasing her.

He used his fingers to part her swollen flesh, then pressed his mouth to the very heart of her. As his tongue stroked her, he felt her tremble. He opened his mouth and sucked, then licked, repeating the actions until her breathing was ragged and she seemed close to losing control. Only then did he settle into a rhythm designed to make her lose control.

Back and forth, back and forth, with the flat part of his tongue, then the tip. Her center engorged, then the first shudder of her release struck. She cried out as her whole body convulsed.

When she was done, she collapsed next to him in the tub. Her eyes were dilated, her skin flushed. Water rained down on them.

“Your turn,” she breathed, her hand reaching between them to close around his erection.

He held in a moan. “What did you have in mind?”

She smiled. “Stand up and find out.”

He rose and stepped under the shower. Elissa knelt in front of him and licked the very tip of his arousal. Instinctively he flexed and surged toward her before he could stop himself. He wanted to bury his hands in her wet hair and pull her closer. He wanted her to suck as hard as she could until he exploded.

Instead he braced himself against the wall and did his best not to act too aggressively.

She circled him with her tongue, then opened her mouth and took him inside. The wet heat combined with the pounding of the shower to create an otherworldly experience.

Suddenly she stopped and stepped out of the shower. A minute later, she returned, condom in hand.

“You’re holding back,” she said simply. “This way you don’t have to.”

He was surprised she’d noticed and grateful for her actions. After he slipped on the protection, he turned her so her back was to the tile wall.

“Gonna be cold,” he said.

She grinned. “I can handle it.”

She only shrieked a little as he raised her up against the tiles. Then she moaned and wrapped her legs around his hips when he thrust inside of her.

She was hot and slick and already contracting around him. In a matter of seconds he was hanging on by a thread and a few seconds after that, he just didn’t give a damn.

“I HAVE TO GET TO WORK,” Elissa said two hours later when they’d moved back to the bedroom and used the last condom. “I’m supposed to spend the weekend working on my jewelry. The craft show is in a couple of weeks and I’m not close to ready.”

Walker leaned over and kissed her shoulder. “I’ll help.”

She blinked at him. “I’m sorry, what did you say?”

He rolled onto his back and pulled her with him so she stretched across him.

“What’s so hard to believe?” he asked. “I’ll go out and get supplies, then come back and help. You can tell me what to do and I’ll do it.”

Just like that, she thought. A couple of days ago, she’d assumed they would never speak to each other again. Suddenly they were lovers and he was implying they would be spending more time together. Was that what she wanted? Was that the safest route?

She already knew the answer to that last question, but in that moment, she didn’t care.

“You don’t have to go to the store,” she said. “I have enough food for us.”

“I wasn’t talking about food.” He leaned over and shook the empty condom box.

“Oh,” she said. “You really think you’re going to want to do that again?”

He cupped her face and kissed her firmly. “You can bet on it.”

“HOW HARD COULD IT BE?” Walker asked when Elissa sat him down at the kitchen table and gave him detailed instructions on how to wrap the wire around the pale blue topaz.

“It takes practice,” she told him, not sure if she should be insulted by his assumption that what she did was so easy.

She returned to her worktable and began sorting stones. She had ideas for several matching sets, which would be her most expensive items, along with lots of different styles of earrings, rings, bracelets and necklaces.

She’d already made a list of the different designs to help her keep on track. Another sheet held her completed inventory list. If she really focused she could—

“This isn’t right.”

Walker stood next to her and handed over a mess of twisted wire and barely visible stone.

“Are you asking me or telling me?”

He set the object on the table. “This isn’t my thing. Why don’t I make labels or put stuff in boxes?”

She held in a smile. “But you said it was so easy. You said it wouldn’t be a problem. You said—”

“I was wrong.” He spoke between gritted teeth.

“Really? You? Wrong? Color me astonished.”

“It’s not easy,” he grumbled. “Is that what you want? Is that enough crawling?”

“Nearly,” she said brightly. “I think another minute will do it.”

“Fine. You have talent and I don’t. You were right and I was…”

He paused and she held a hand up to her ear. “Yes?”

“Wrong.”

She sighed. “What a beautiful sound. The w word. I rejoice for all women everywhere.”

“You’re taking this a little too much to heart. I can think of only one way to shut you up.”

Then, before she could react, he pulled her to her feet and kissed her thoroughly.

“I have to work,” she protested.

He put one hand on her breast and slipped the other between her legs.

“What was that?” he asked against her mouth.

“Nothing. Nothing at all.”

BY LATE SUNDAY AFTERNOON, Elissa had made progress on her inventory and Walker had, knowingly or not, made inroads into her heart. Her friends had been right—sleeping with the man meant bonding with him and no matter how much she told herself to keep her distance, neither her brain nor her heart were listening.

He put the last label on the box, then stacked that container with the others. After glancing at his watch, he said, “Zoe will be home soon. I should go. You don’t want to have to explain me to her or your mother.”

“Right.”

She’d forgotten about the fight she’d had with her mother. All her anger and confusion returned in a rush.

He kissed her once and left. It was only after he was gone that she realized he hadn’t said anything about seeing her again. Did he plan to? Had anything changed for him or was this just the long version of a one-night stand?

She hated the questions nearly as much as she hated herself for asking them. If she wanted to know, she should be a grown-up and ask. But before she could, she heard a car in the driveway.

By the time she got to the door, Zoe was already out and racing toward her.

“Mommy, Mommy, I had the best time,” her daughter yelled. “I have so much to tell you!”

Elissa crouched down and held out her arms. Zoe rushed into them. Elissa glanced over her daughter’s head and saw that her mother wasn’t alone in the car. Elissa’s father was with her.

Had he come along to say goodbye or was he to provide a buffer between the two women?

Elissa straightened as her parents got out of the car and walked toward her.

“Hi,” she said, not looking at her mother. “It sounds like Zoe had fun.”

“I did!” her daughter said. “I want to stay over again.”

“If that’s not a problem,” her mother said stiffly. “We’d love to have her.”

“Sure. That would be great. We’ll have to work something out.”

Her father handed her Zoe’s small suitcase and kissed Elissa’s cheek. “You know we love you, Elissa, don’t you? You understand things happened?”

Meaning what? They were allowed to be pissed she’d left but she wasn’t supposed to care that they’d stopped looking?

“Of course.” She forced herself to smile.

“Good.”

She could tell he thought everything was fine now, but she knew differently and from the way her mother avoided her gaze, she, too, understood that all was not well.

“We won’t keep you,” her father said. “Let’s talk soon.”

“Sure.”

She and Zoe waved while her parents drove away, then she led her daughter into the apartment.

“All right,” she said with a smile. “Start at the beginning and tell me everything you did.”

Zoe threw her arms around her. “I missed you, Mommy, but I had really, really big fun.”

“Did you? Tell me.”

“First, we went shopping. Grandma said I could pick out new sheets for my bed there. So we got pink sheets with princesses on them. Then we went home and we made cookies. Then in the afternoon…”

Zoe kept talking, but Elissa found it difficult to concentrate. She kept thinking about the fight she’d had with her mother and wondering if they would ever come to terms. She also kept remembering her time with Walker and wishing he were with her now.

While she loved Zoe with all her heart, for the first time in a long time, she felt lonely and out of place.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

LORI JOHNSTON WAS everything Reid didn’t like in a woman. Disapproving, plain and completely uninterested in him. She glanced around the sports bar with the same lack of enthusiasm she’d shown at being introduced to him.

“We should go into my office,” he said over the yells of the afternoon crowd in for a Mariners game, then took her total lack of response as agreement.

Once there, he motioned for her to take the seat opposite his desk while he settled on a corner. Not so much to look down on her, he told himself, as to, well, maintain control of the interview process.

She adjusted her glasses before handing him a copy of her résumé. “The agency recommended me for this assignment because I’ve had a lot of experience with difficult patients. I’ve been doing private duty nursing for two years. Before that I was on the orthopedic ward. I’ve worked with several heart patients recently. I believe those are the two issues your grandmother will be facing—recovery from both a heart attack and a broken hip?”

She spoke the way she looked, sensibly and with nothing wasted on the frivolous, which made him uncomfortable.

“I could put the game on here,” he said, jerking his head toward the TV in the corner. “The Mariners are tied.”

She blinked at him. “I don’t follow sports.”

Why was he not surprised? “So you don’t know who I am.”

“Should I?”

Ouch. “Sure. I’m a famous major league pitcher.”

“Then why do you work in a bar?”

“I blew out my shoulder.”

“Given the effort and daily stress necessary in that line of work, I’m not surprised. The body has limits, Mr. Buchanan. No matter how much we would like that reality to be different, it simply will not change.”

She reminded him of every teacher he’d never liked, all self-righteous and…and…priggy, he thought with no idea of where the word had come from.

She wore a long-sleeved shirt tucked into a boring skirt that fell well below her knees. Her shoes were ugly, she didn’t wear jewelry or makeup and if she narrowed her eyes at him any more, she was going to go cross-eyed. Her only redeeming feature—thick reddish-gold hair that she’d pulled back into a horrible braid—was wasted on her.

He wanted to tell her she wouldn’t do, except she was the most qualified applicant he’d met and from her work history, the most likely to be able to handle Gloria’s day shift.

“The agency said you want three nurses working eight-hour shifts,” she said. “We get paid a twelve-hour shift, regardless of the hours we work, so you’re really wasting money.”

“You haven’t met my grandmother,” he told her. “Eight hours is going to be difficult enough.”

“I see. Is the family close?”

“No.”

“Perhaps if you’d spent more time with her before her heart attack, she would have been easier to deal with.”

“What makes you think I didn’t?”

She smiled coolly. “With your very impressive baseball career, I’m sure you were on the road a lot.”

She was being sarcastic. Her tone gave nothing away, but he knew it down to his bones.

“Gloria isn’t like other grandmothers,” he said. “She runs an empire.”

“Perhaps, Mr. Buchanan, but everyone gets lonely. Especially the elderly. Many of them are in the position of having friends and loved ones gone. Does your grandmother have any contemporaries?”

“You mean friends?”

“Yes. People her own age with whom she has close attachments.”

He wanted to tell her he wasn’t a moron, but to what end? She wouldn’t believe him. “I don’t know.”

“I see.”

There were miles of disapproval in her voice.

“Are your parents still alive?” she asked.

“Ah, no.”

“So your grandmother has no friends you know about and she lost at least one of her children. Do you know what it does to a parent to outlive a child?”

He slid off the desk and stepped around it. “I haven’t done anything wrong.”

“I’m sure you haven’t done anything at all.”

“Hey, I’m not the bad guy here. If you don’t want the job, just say so.”

“I am interested in the job, Mr. Buchanan. I suspect your grandmother needs me.”

That made him smile. “If you’re thinking you’re going to rescue her from her uncaring relatives, you’re in for a shock, lady.”

Lori did not look convinced.

She would be, though. A few minutes in Gloria’s company and she’d come begging to apologize for what she’d said and assumed. He found himself looking forward to that.

“The job is yours if you want it,” he said.

“Thank you. I require regular meals, which means time to eat them. I am happy to do so in the company of your grandmother. I have low blood sugar and can’t go long periods without eating.”

“Not a problem. Do you bring your own food or would you prefer that we provide it?”

“I bring my own. I would also like to meet the other nurses you’ve hired.”

Reid had a feeling she wasn’t going to approve of anything about Sandy Larson.

“No problem.” He gave her the start date.

“Excellent.” She stood and held out her hand. “Thank you for your time, Mr. Buchanan. I’ll go back to the agency and fill out the paperwork. I’m looking forward to meeting your grandmother.”

“Me, too,” he said smugly. “Me, too.”

WALKER LOADED the last box in his SUV while Elissa hovered nearby and shifted nervously from foot to foot.

“I don’t like this,” she said. “I’m just not comfortable. What if something happens?”

When it had become obvious that her inventory and supplies wouldn’t fit in her small car, he’d insisted she use his.

“But it’s so expensive,” she’d protested.

He’d pointed out that’s why he had insurance. Necessity had forced her to agree, but he could tell she didn’t like it.

“I’ll be extra careful,” she promised.

He put an arm around her. “You don’t have to be. Relax. This is going to be a good weekend for you.”

“Maybe. I hope so.” She drew in a breath. “No, you’re right. It’s going to be great. If only it weren’t so early.”

He glanced at his watch. It was barely after six, but Elissa had to get to the craft fair in time to set up.

“What if no one buys my stuff?” she asked in a panic again. “What if I sit there for three days and don’t sell anything? I can’t do this.”

He had a feeling once she came uncorked she was never going to recover so he did the only thing he could think of to silence her. He kissed her.

She stiffened, then melted into him. Her arms came around him and he felt the familiar heat and need that were always lurking when he was near Elissa.

Between her work schedule, his work schedule and her frantic efforts to build enough inventory for the craft fair, they hadn’t seen much of each other in the past week, so there hadn’t been a repeat of their previous weekend.

He missed having her in bed, but knew it was probably for the best to let things cool off.

She drew back and stared at him. “Wow. That’s better than coffee. I’m totally awake now.”

“But are you more calm?”

“In some ways, yes. In others, not so much.”

She smiled as she spoke and he found himself leaning toward her. As always, everything about her drew him to her, even though he knew it was not a place he should go. So he wasn’t disappointed when a familiar low sports car pulled into the driveway.

Reid got out of his Corvette and walked toward them.

“Do you know what time it is?” he asked by way of greeting. “Do you know how late I was up last night?”

Elissa glanced between the two of them. “Hi, Reid. What are you doing here?”

“Helping,” he said, then stretched, before slapping Walker on the back. “You owe me.”

“Put it on my tab.”

“I don’t understand,” Elissa said.

“You can’t set up alone,” Walker told her. “You can barely handle one table and there are four. I’m staying here with Zoe until she and Mrs. Ford wake up. Then I’ll bring them along to the fair. In the meantime, Reid is going to help you set up.”

“No.” She took a step back. “I couldn’t.”

“Sure you can,” Reid said easily. “It’s not like I have anyone waiting for me at home.”

Walker raised his eyebrows. “A slow night?”

“I guess. I haven’t been in the mood lately. I met the most annoying woman a couple of days ago and she’s put me off my game.”

“Not possible,” Walker said with a grin.

“It is.” Reid looked and sounded both bitter and unhappy. “She didn’t know who I was and she sure as hell wasn’t pretty. She actually said that the reason Gloria is so difficult is because I don’t spend enough time with her.”

“Gloria’s problems started long before we were born.”

“I know, but she went on about Gloria needing contact.” He shrugged. “I don’t remember it all. I got bored. She really pissed me off.”

“So what did you do?”

“I hired her to be Gloria’s day nurse.”

Even Elissa chuckled at that. Walker guided her toward the driver’s side of the SUV and insisted she get inside.

“You’ll be fine,” he told her. “I’ll bring the girls later this morning.”

“But…”

He pressed a finger against her mouth. “Go,” he told her.

“I’ll follow you,” Reid said. “Hey, there’s lots of women at these things, right? Maybe I’ll hang around and meet a few of them.”

“Get the taste of the uncooperative one out of your mouth,” Elissa said.

Reid grimaced. “I didn’t kiss her. Why would I want to? So what if she doesn’t appreciate me? She’s not my type. Now that I’ve hired her, I don’t have to have anything to do with her. I’ll never see her again, which is a damn good thing, let me tell you.”

Elissa looked sidelong at Reid. “For a man who’s not interested in this woman, you’re sure talking about her a lot.”

Reid narrowed his gaze. “You remember that I’m helping you, right?”

She grinned. “Oh, yeah.” She rolled down the window and then closed the driver’s door. “See you there,” she told Walker. “And wish me luck.”

“You’re not going to need it, but good luck anyway.”

BY MIDAFTERNOON, Elissa was so happy she thought she might float home. She was doing great. Sales had been brisk from the moment the fair had opened. If this kept up, she would exceed her ambitious hopes for the weekend and be able to put at least three thousand dollars away in the bank.

Just thinking about that massive number made her light-headed. It meant not having to sweat every grinding noise in her car. It meant a new winter coat for Zoe wasn’t a reason to panic. It meant peace of mind.

She helped a woman choose a pair of earrings for herself and a bracelet for her sister, then counted back the change.

She grabbed her water bottle and took a long drink. She hadn’t eaten all day, but she was just too excited to think about food. She felt as if her life had suddenly taken a turn for the positive. That things were seriously looking up.

She didn’t want to think Walker was responsible, but she couldn’t help giving him a little credit. He’d been good to her and for her. When she thought about what he’d told her about his girlfriend, she had trouble reconciling those actions with the man she knew. She knew he believed what he’d done meant he couldn’t be trusted with the big stuff. That both she and Zoe were at risk. But her gut told her otherwise.

He’d been a kid, she reminded herself. He was talking about something that had happened a long time ago. Sure, what he’d done had been awful, but she could also understand his fear.

“How’s it going?”

She looked up and saw Cal and Penny standing by her booth. “Hi.” She stood and glanced at Penny’s huge belly. “How are you feeling?”

“Awful. The baby’s due any day now. I thought walking around might help.” She put her hand on her stomach. “Walking very, very slowly.”

“You’re doing great,” Cal said, then kissed her cheek. “It will be over soon.”

“Not soon enough.” Penny sighed. “So where’s Zoe?”

“She was here earlier. She’s spending the rest of the day at a friend’s house.”

“Lucky girl. She’s having fun.” Penny rolled her shoulders. “I used to have fun.”

Cal seemed to be hiding a smile. “You will again.”

“I don’t think so. I think I’ll always be this huge.” She glanced down at the jewelry. “I want some new earrings. My clothes are all massive and I deserve something pretty.”

“Pick as many as you’d like,” Cal said.

“Yes, please,” Elissa said with a grin. “I’ll even give you a discount.”

“I don’t think so,” Penny told her. “Friends don’t let friends lose money. We’ll pay retail.”

She pointed to a pair of earrings, then another. Cal collected them and handed them to Elissa who rang up the total.

“Where’s Walker?” Penny asked while Cal counted out the money.

Elissa felt her cheeks flush at the assumption she would know where he was.

“He’s, ah, bringing my neighbor, Mrs. Ford, to the fair. She’s meeting up with some of her friends here and they’re heading off to a movie.”

“Good for them. I want to be like that when I get old,” Penny said. “Assuming I don’t simply pop like a balloon, with all my insides spilling out.”

Cal took the bag Elissa gave him and put his hand on the small of Penny’s back.

“On that happy visual, we’re going to go,” Cal said firmly. “Come on, Penny. Let’s find the car. I’ll take you home and rub your feet.”

“Okay.”

He glanced over his shoulder. “Dani said to tell you she’d be by later.”

“Oh, good. Thanks. Feel better, Penny.”

“Not possible. I’m never going to feel better.”

An older woman laughed softly. “I felt the same way with all three of mine,” she said with a sigh. “Of course that was a long time ago. You have a lovely family.”

Elissa opened her mouth to explain they weren’t her family, then she decided to just smile and say, “Thank you.”

WALKER MOVED SLOWLY beside Mrs. Ford.

“I don’t usually bother with this,” she said as she leaned on him and steadied herself with a cane. “I was concerned with the crowd and getting jostled.” She gave him a teasing smile. “I knew if I asked you to protect me, innocent people would be risking life and limb. You’re just so strong.”

“Are you flirting with me?” he asked.

“Maybe a little. Although I know where your real interests lie, don’t I? With our pretty neighbor.”

“Elissa and I are friends,” he said, ignoring what had happened the previous weekend and how much he wanted to be with her again.

“Good friends.” Mrs. Ford sighed. “I used to have friends like that when I was younger. But after eighty, it’s nearly impossible to get a man. Still, I’m happy with my life. Not everyone can say that.”

He kept his left hand on her elbow and offered as much support as he could. It was warm and crowded and he didn’t think this was a good place for a woman well into her nineties. But Mrs. Ford had insisted and arguing with her was like reasoning with a tornado.

“Maybe if you weren’t so closed off emotionally,” she said. “I can certainly understand why it would happen. You’ve seen some horrible things. War has a way of changing a man.”

Honest to God, he didn’t know what to say to her.

“I’m only afraid that you’ll miss a perfectly wonderful opportunity with Elissa. She’s not like other women. You’re not likely to do better.”

“I’m not interested in doing better.”

“Then what’s the problem? You should have had her in bed by now. There’s nothing like a fabulous few days in bed to turn a woman into putty.”

He swore under his breath. “Did you want to do any shopping?” he asked, motioning to the crowded booths on either side of them.

She glanced at a display of kites. “I don’t think so, but you’re very sweet to offer. I know shopping is rarely a man’s first choice as a way to spend his free time. Do you think it’s a traumatic event from your past, or the way your mind works, or do you simply prefer being single?” She glanced at him. “I can’t imagine it’s being single. You strike me as someone who cares about family.”

“I…”

Words failed him. Until this moment, he’d always really liked Mrs. Ford. This was the first time she’d tried to interrogate him. And as they hadn’t even reached Elissa’s booth, he was well and truly trapped.

“I’m not going to go running to Elissa, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Mrs. Ford said with a smile.

“I…”

Just then he spotted Dani with Ryan and called out to them. Dani turned and smiled. As they approached, Walker noticed they were holding hands. Apparently things were progressing.

He wasn’t sure how he felt about his sister getting involved so quickly after the end of her marriage. Not that it was his business or that she would listen to anything he had to say on the subject.

“Mrs. Ford, this is my sister, Dani, and her friend Ryan. This is Mrs. Ford, one of my neighbors.”

“Hi,” Dani said. “Nice to meet you.”

“And you, dear.” Mrs. Ford eyed Ryan. “What do you do?”

“I’m the general manager of The Waterfront,” Ryan told her.

“Your restaurant,” Mrs. Ford said to Walker. “Dani, do you work there, as well?”

“Yes. That’s where Ryan and I met.” She looked at Walker. “Now it’s your restaurant?” she asked, her voice teasing.

He groaned. “Give me a break.”

“How lovely.” The old lady sighed. “An office romance. I always wanted an office romance. Of course I never really had a job, which made the situation more challenging. Oh, I worked on an assembly line during World War II, but there weren’t very many men around and as my husband was off serving his country, an office romance would have been unpatriotic, don’t you think?”

“Are you enjoying the craft fair?” Dani asked Mrs. Ford.

“Very much. Walker is quite patient with me.”

“Really?” Dani eyed her brother. “Lucky you. Ryan only recently moved to Seattle. This is his first time here.”

Mrs. Ford turned to Dani’s date. “What do you think of our city?”

“I like it,” Ryan said.

Dani released his hand and stepped close to Walker. “This is new. I don’t remember you volunteering with seniors before,” she said in a low voice.

“She wanted to come see Elissa’s booth.”

“Uh-huh. You’d better be careful or we’ll all think you’re turning into a nice guy.”

“Anything but that,” he muttered. “So how’s the new guy?”

“Good. I’d thought I needed time to get over my divorce, but maybe not.”

Walker looked at his sister. “It’s serious?”

She smiled, then blushed. “Maybe. I don’t know. I really like him and he’s a good guy. I know this is fast and I want to stay detached, it’s just…I can’t seem to.”

He wanted to tell her to be careful, but who was he to give advice about personal relationships?

“I’m glad you’re happy.”

“Really? You’re not going to warn me or anything?”

“Nope.”

She grinned and leaned against him. “Did I ever mention you’re my favorite brother?”

She and Ryan said goodbye, then strolled off. Mrs. Ford watched them go.

“Now where were we?” she asked as they once again started for Elissa’s booth. “I believe we were discussing your inability to commit. Do you have any thoughts on why that is?”

BUSINESS CONTINUED to be good, Elissa thought happily Sunday afternoon as she made change, then bent down to collect more inventory. She was still selling at a brisk pace and this was only day two. Tonight she would go over her receipts and figure out if she could actually increase her profit estimate. The thought of how much easier life would be with a bit of a financial buffer in the bank nearly made her giddy.

She straightened and put a dozen or so boxes on her table, then froze as she heard a familiar and incredibly unwelcome, “Hey, babe.”

Despite the near ninety-degree temperature, her entire body went cold. She felt her breath catch in her throat and a shriek building up inside as she fought against the need to scream against the unfairness of it all.

She turned slowly, hoping she was wrong, then nearly collapsed in disappointment when she saw the tall, painfully thin, shaggy-haired man standing in front of her booth.

“Neil,” she said, wondering if this was going to be a never-ending nightmare. “This is an unpleasant surprise.”

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?” Elissa asked, keeping her voice calm. Neil was like an injured wild animal—dangerous when cornered and sensitive to any sign of fear.

“I came to see my girl,” he said with an easy smile. “A buddy I know got a bunch of gigs here and in Portland. His bass player couldn’t make it, so I said I’d fill in. I knew it was a chance to catch up with you.” He moved closer and his smile turned more predatory. “You’re looking good, Elissa. It’s been a long time.”

Over two years, she thought bitterly. He’d come into town, threatened her, then left when she’d cleaned out her meager savings account.

“I went by where you work and some guy there told me I could find you here.” He frowned. “Do you really wear that uniform? I don’t know about the chicken, Elissa. Still, the place was busy and the tips must be good.”

Oh, Frank, she thought desperately. Don’t try to be so helpful.

“Did you tell him you were my brother?” she asked.

“Cousin. What with us not looking anything alike.” He picked up a pair of earrings. “Nice little setup you’ve got here. I didn’t know you were so talented, but then you’ve always been good at keeping things from me.”

She snatched back the earrings. “The only reason you don’t know that I could do things like this is because that would have required us having a conversation about something other than you. Something you never saw the value in.”

He smiled. “You’re still a fireball, Elissa. I like that.”

She couldn’t believe she’d ever thought herself in love with him. Mitch had been bad enough—foolish, self-centered and unfaithful, but compared to Neil, he’d been a candidate for boyfriend of the year.

Neil moved closer to the table and reached across it. She stepped out of reach.

“I’ve missed you, baby,” he said. “We had something good together.”

“We had shit,” she said flatly. “The only reason you kept me around was because I could hold a job, which meant money coming in. You needed that money to stay stoned.”

“You always did take care of me,” he reminded her. “Still do. That’s why I’m here, Elissa. For my little something. But now that I’ve seen how well you’re doing, I’m thinking it should be more than a little.”

Why now? she thought desperately. Why today? The only thing that kept her from getting lost in panic was the knowledge that Zoe was safely away.

It was as if he could read her mind. He looked around, then back at her. “So where’s the kid?”

She wanted to scream at him that he had no right to any contact with her daughter. He didn’t care about Zoe. She would bet her entire day’s sales that he couldn’t remember if she was a boy or a girl.

“She’s at a birthday party.”

“Too bad. I would have liked to meet her.” He shook his head. “I don’t know why you insist on keeping us apart. She’s as much my child as yours.”

“She’s not your child. She’s not your anything. You don’t care about her. She’s just leverage.”

“You’re right. You should have had me sign off on the kid,” he told her. “Funny you didn’t, because you were always so good at the details. Could it be you secretly wanted to keep me in your life? Am I the one who got away?”

He asked the question sincerely, as if he truly believed it was possible she missed him. As if she didn’t regret every second spent with him.

She wanted to scream that he was nothing but a druggie loser. That if she had her way, he would be sent to an island and never rescued. That the only reason she hadn’t gotten him to sign a release for Zoe was because she’d left with almost nothing and she couldn’t have afforded a lawyer.

“Go away,” she said. “Just go away.”

“I will, Elissa. But first you have to give me what I want.”

Money. It always came down to money.

Thank God she’d taken home her earnings from the day before. Still, she hated handing over her cash box, knowing how much was inside.

She reached for the small metal box and opened it. Before she could figure out a way to conceal the amount from him, he grabbed it and fingered the thick stack of bills.

“Sweet,” he said as he pulled out all the tens and twenties, along with more than half the fives. “I’ll leave you some change.” He pocketed the money, then handed her the box. “In case you get any ideas about calling the cops on me and claiming I stole the money, remember this. I know where you live, Elissa. That means I know where the kid is. I could come in the night and steal her away. Just like that.” He snapped his fingers. “Then you’d never see her again. You know I’d do it. So think of this as cheap insurance.”

He gave her a grin, then sauntered away.

Elissa stood staring after him. Now that she was alone, fear crashed into her, with panic not far behind. He knew where she worked and he claimed to know where she lived. How was she ever going to keep Zoe safe?

If Neil thought he was onto a good thing, he might not go away this time. He might keep coming back until there wasn’t any more money, then make good on his threat. She had to stop him. She had to find a way.

Elissa desperately wanted to leave. She wanted to be home with her child, with the doors locked and the blinds closed. She wanted to hide out until all this was over.

But she couldn’t do that. She could only figure out a way to get enough money to hire a really good attorney who would make Neil go away forever.

DANI ROLLED OVER and smiled at Ryan. “I have to go,” she said, wishing that weren’t such a true statement. In a perfect world, she could stay in bed with him forever.

He glanced at the clock on the nightstand and sighed. “I’m not due in until four. Can you wait until then?”

It was just after two on Sunday, which meant brunch was winding down. “Everyone’s pretty crabby after brunch,” she said. “I need to go smooth feathers.”

“Agreed.” He fingered the ends of her hair. “Our customers love brunch and the staff hates it. Okay. I’ll let you go…this one time.”

“How brave of you.” She leaned over and kissed him. He moved against her and she felt his leg slip between hers.

The fact that he could move independently still startled her. She’d enjoyed their lovemaking, but in truth some section of her emotional self had stood apart, openmouthed and hyperaware of how different it all was.

“What are you thinking?” he asked.

“Nothing.”

“You don’t have a nothing face. What is it?”

She hesitated, then sighed. “I’m thinking about Hugh.”

“Wow.” He sat up and leaned against the padded headboard. “Okay, should I worry that you’re thinking about your ex-husband while you’re in bed with me?”

“No. I don’t miss him or any of that. It’s just…” She sat up, careful to cover herself with the sheet. “I told you that he was in a wheelchair.”

Ryan nodded, his blue eyes focused totally on her face.

“We’d been lovers before that happened. Hugh was only the second guy I’d been with. After the accident, it was never the same. I mean we did stuff, but traditional sex was out of the question.”

She bit her lower lip, not sure how much to share or even how much she needed to share. “I was fine with that. I read some books and talked to his doctor and physical therapist. We would have needed help for me to get pregnant, but that seemed a long way off. I don’t mean to sound disloyal or like a horrible person, but being intimate was always work. Physical work for me. There were things I had to worry about. But with you, it’s easy. Your legs move. You can feel what I’m doing. Is that awful?”

He gathered her into his arms and kissed her. “Dani, the man left you and then you found out he was cheating on you. You owe him nothing. I think he was damn lucky to have you and an idiot to leave you. I’m glad you enjoyed being with me. I’m glad it was easy. You’ve earned that.”

The combination of his strong arms and supportive words made her heart flutter. How had she gotten so lucky so soon after her divorce and how did she make sure this never, ever ended?

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“You’re welcome.” He kissed her. “Okay, you either have to get out of bed right this second or brace yourself to be taken again.”

She laughed. “As much as I want to be ravished, I have to get to the restaurant.” She touched his cheek. “See you at four?”

“I’ll be there.”

She dressed quickly, then retouched her makeup. Twenty minutes later she entered the restaurant to find them clearing away brunch.

Edouard met her with a growl. “It is ridiculous,” he told her by way of greeting. “Do you know who I am? I am a famous, incredibly talented chef. I am gifted. You had me spend the morning supervising cooks making omelets and Belgian waffles. I am insulted.”

“Sounds like trouble in your personal life to me,” Dani said, unfazed by his complaints.

“My personal life is fine. It is excellent. It is much better than yours.”

She wanted to tell him he was wrong. That Ryan did things to her body that might not be legal in some states and that until doing the wild things with him, she hadn’t known she was a screamer. But sharing that kind of personal information would make her vulnerable and right now she needed to keep control of the kitchen.

“If you’re so happy, then handling brunch should be easy,” she said. “It’s only one Sunday a month. You know we rotate the assignment.”

“It is torture and I hate you for making me do it.”

She smiled. “Good to know.”

He narrowed his gaze, then walked away. She wanted to call him back and give him a big hug. Or break into song. The sun was shining, the sky an amazing shade of blue and her life was perfect in nearly every way.

She walked to the front of the restaurant and saw there were only a few customers lingering over coffee. The buffet stations had been broken down and stored until they would be needed next week. She was about to return to her office, when she saw a young woman carrying a little boy walk into the restaurant.

The hostess was long gone and most of the servers were in the back. Dani didn’t see anyone else who could help her, so she walked to her and smiled.

“Hi, we’ve stopped serving brunch. Sorry.”

“That’s okay. I’m not here to eat. Is Ryan around?”

Ryan? Dani looked from the woman to the toddler, then back. “Ah, no. He’s not due in until four.”

“Huh. I just called his apartment and he didn’t answer. Still, it’s a beautiful day so I’m sure he’s out somewhere. I wonder if I should try to find the apartment or wait here.”

Dani didn’t know what to think. She almost said that Ryan had probably been in the shower and the woman should try again, but she didn’t. Her body felt as stiff as wood and she wondered if she would be able to speak.

Fortunately it wasn’t an issue. The other woman kept chattering away. “I know I’m just dropping in. It’s a surprise. I told him I’d be staying with my mother another week, but she was making us both crazy. It’s the grandma thing. Nothing I did was right, which is always the case, but I’m not usually living with her. I would have come up sooner, but I had to finish my orals.” She smiled shyly. “I’m getting my Ph.D. in nutrition with an emphasis on eating disorders.”

She stopped and shook her head. “My God, listen to me talking and talking. It’s just for the past three days it’s been me and Alex here. I’m so excited to see another adult.”

The toddler stuck his fingers in his mouth.

The woman was tall and thin. Pretty in a sensible sort of way. Dani’s gaze dropped to her left hand and the diamond band on her ring finger.

The cold inside started to hurt. She told herself it wasn’t possible, but she couldn’t make herself believe it.

“I’m Dani Buchanan,” she said. “I work here with Ryan. He didn’t mention any visitors.”

“Like I said, I’m a surprise. Alex and I weren’t due here for a few more days.” She held out her free hand. “I’m Jen, Ryan’s wife.”

WALKER PARKED in front of Cal’s house, then hurried inside. Reid’s car wasn’t there, meaning Cal hadn’t been able to get a hold of him. Which was fine—Walker was ready to take care of this himself.

Anger burned hot and bright inside of him. With Hugh, beating the crap out of the guy hadn’t been possible, but shit-bastard Ryan wasn’t in a wheelchair…yet.

He walked in without knocking and saw Dani on the sofa, curled up and leaning against Penny’s shoulder. His sister looked up when he entered.

Her face was wet and flushed, her eyes swollen. “He’s m-married,” she said on a sob. “He’s married and he never told me, never hinted. He never said anything. I can’t believe it. Even when we talked about how Hugh had cheated, he never said a-anything.”

As he moved toward her, she rose and stepped into his embrace. He held her tight, rocking her.

There weren’t any words. Nothing he could say would make this right. He hated that Ryan had done this to her right after Hugh’s rejection and betrayal.

He glanced at Cal, who looked as if he wanted to put his fist through something. Penny had obviously been crying.

“This just sucks,” Penny murmured. “I hate him.”

“Me, too,” Dani murmured against Walker’s chest. He felt her tears dampening his shirt. “He has a kid. A little boy. How could he have slept with me while he has a kid? That’s so wrong.” She raised her head and stared into his eyes.

“It hurts,” she whispered. “Make the pain go away.”

He kissed her forehead, then drew her against him again. “I can’t. I want to, but I can’t.”

If only he could tell her things would get better. He knew that they would, eventually, but the words were a cold comfort to her now.

He hated how much she hurt. She was his baby sister and he’d always felt the need to protect her. He told her he wanted to find Ryan and beat the shit out of him, wait for him to heal, then do it all again.

“I’ll join you,” Cal said quietly.

Penny looked between the two of them. “You can’t beat up Ryan,” she said. “He’ll have you arrested and I’m due to give birth at any minute. Neither of you can be in prison then.”

Dani drew in a shaky breath. “She’s right. I’d love to watch you pound him into the ground, but you can’t.”

“Maybe not,” Walker admitted, although in his mind the idea was still worth considering. “But I can fire him.”

One corner of Cal’s mouth turned up. “Perfect. Let him try to get a job in this city without a reference from us. He’ll starve.”

“No!” Dani stepped back and glared at them both. “You’re not going to fire him, Walker.”

He couldn’t believe it. “You still care about this guy?”

“What?” She wiped her eyes with her fingers. “No. Of course not. I want him roasted on a spit. But I went into this relationship on my own. No one made me. I’m the one who didn’t pay attention or ask the right questions. I have to take responsibility for that.”

“Dani, he tricked you,” Penny said.

“I know that, but I refuse to give him all the power. I am not some spineless female who is going to be rescued by her big, bad brothers. Ryan stays. I’ll get through it.”

Walker appreciated her attempts to be strong, even though he still wanted to hit something…or someone. “If I don’t fire his ass, he’s going to show up every day. You’re going to have to deal with that. Can you?”

She straightened her back and squared her shoulders. “Bring it on.”

THE CONCEPT HAD SEEMED simple enough at the time, Walker thought the next day, as he waved to Mrs. Ford and one of her friends. The two old women drove away, leaving him alone with Zoe and all the potential things that could go wrong. All he had to do was watch the kid for a few hours until Mrs. Ford finished with her Labor Day Seniors Picnic. As it was adults-only, Mrs. Ford had been unable to take Zoe along, and for reasons still not clear to him, he, Walker, had volunteered.

“Brain injury,” he muttered to himself as he stepped into Elissa’s apartment. “Must have been a blow to the head I don’t remember.”

He’d left Zoe on the floor watching something on Nickelodeon, but when he returned, the TV was off and she’d spread out several articles of clothing on the sofa.

“I start school tomorrow,” she told him with an expression that was both hopeful and terrified. “Mommy and me are still talking ’bout what I’m wearing.” She fingered a T-shirt with a crown on the front. “This is pretty.”

“Very nice,” he said, wondering how the hell he was supposed to fill a whole day. Mrs. Ford wouldn’t be back until after dinner. Even though the craft fair ended relatively early, he didn’t expect Elissa until six. Sure he could take Zoe to the fair, but that was only going to burn two hours. Plus, what about meals? He’d said he would take her out, but that meant sitting across from her and thinking up things to say. What if she choked or something?

Despite the heat of the morning, a cold sweat broke out on the back of his neck.

“Did you see what Mommy got me for my lunch?” she asked suddenly, then raced into the kitchen. She came back with a brightly colored lunch box.

Zoe opened it and showed him all the wonders of a space for a juice box, a plastic container for a sandwich and fruit, along with a special pack that would keep everything cold.

“It’s the best,” she said reverently as she closed it, then ran her hand along the top.

He glanced at his watch. Great. Two minutes down, four hundred and eighty to go.

“Want to ride your bike?” he asked, thinking at least that would tire her out. Did kids her age take naps?

“Okay.”

But instead of running toward the front door to get to the garage, she raced down the hall, only to return with a large bottle of sunscreen. After handing it to him, she stood patiently, as if waiting for him to apply it.

“Right,” he said slowly. “You don’t want to get a sunburn.”

“Mommy says it’s important to protect ourselves.” She held out one impossibly small, skinny arm.

Walker squirted sunscreen into his left palm, then used his right hand to rub the lotion onto her skin. He could encircle her upper arm with his thumb and forefinger and he had a bad feeling that he could have snapped any bone in her body just as easily. If she was this little now, what had it been like when she’d been born? Elissa had to have been terrified, but she’d handled it all on her own. She hadn’t bolted or even tried to get away.

Unlike him.

He ignored the ghosts from his past and finished applying the sunscreen, then followed Zoe outside.

“Stay on this side of the street,” he said.

Zoe sighed. “I know. Mommy always tells me where I can ride. I’ll be good.”

After opening the garage, he helped her put on her helmet. Then she climbed on her bike and set off down the sidewalk. The small training wheels gave her balance and she rode with a purposeful confidence. Walker watched her for a couple of seconds, then glanced around for something to do while she burned off energy.

He saw several gardening tools in a corner of the small garage and remembered noticing Elissa weeding flowers in the front bed. As busy as she’d been getting ready for the craft fair, he would guess she hadn’t had time to keep up with her outside chores. Weeding he could handle.

He collected the tools, ignored both the gloves and some kind of squishy mat to protect his knees, grabbed a bucket and went to work.

The sun was hot, the day already warm. He attacked weeds and anything questionable looking, then dumped them into the bucket. Every now and then, he glanced up and checked on Zoe. She continued to ride back and forth, waving as she passed.

About fifteen minutes into her ride, she was joined by the girl from across the street. Walker couldn’t remember the kid’s name but she was a year or so older and seemed okay. They rode together for a few minutes, then collapsed on the lawn in the shade.

“I’m comin’ back,” Zoe yelled as she raced into the house.

Before Walker could get up and go after her to find out what she was doing, she’d returned with an armful of toys. The other girl did the same and they settled on the grass for a serious session of…whatever it was girls that age did. He reached the corner of the house and started down the side.

He worked the earth, not noticing when spade became shovel and the hole got big enough for a body. Digging graves, he thought grimly. Digging…

He jerked back, willing the image to fade. It did and there were plants again. Sweat dripped down his back. He didn’t belong here, he thought. He couldn’t do this—couldn’t be normal. He—

He heard voices. Too many voices for just Zoe and her friend. Walker stood and hurried to the front yard. When he stepped around the house, he saw Zoe standing up to a boy several years older than her. The boy pushed her lightly. Zoe shoved back. The boy pushed harder. Zoe went down on the cement sidewalk.

Walker tore across the lawn and grabbed the kid by the shirtfront. He was about to shake him like a dog when he heard Zoe start to cry. When he glanced down, she had tears on her face and blood on her shirt.

“Don’t hurt me! Don’t hurt me!” the boy cried.

Walker narrowed his gaze. “There won’t be a next time, will there?”

The terrified boy shook his head. Walker released him and crouched by Zoe.

“Let me see,” he said.

Her girlfriend had disappeared, as had the other boys. Walker examined Zoe’s scraped knee and the bit of skin missing at the base of her palm, then picked her up in his arms and carried her inside.

He set her on the counter and made quick work of her injuries, careful to use the nonstinging antiseptic Elissa had on a shelf with different sizes of bandages. When he was done with the patching up, he got a paper towel, dampened it, then wiped her face.

“What happened?” he asked.

She hiccuped another sob, then sniffed. “Those boys came by and said we were playing baby games. I said we weren’t.”

“You stood up to him,” Walker said. “Your friend didn’t.”

“Natalie got scared and ran home. I was scared, too, but we weren’t stupid and those boys were wrong. Sometimes they boss other kids around. I don’t like it.”

The boy had to be at least two or three years older than Zoe, but she’d been fearless. So what was the lesson? Did he tell her that it was good to stand up for herself, but then she had to face the consequences? Was it better to warn her to play it safe?

He stared into her big eyes and didn’t have a clue. How the hell did Elissa always know the right thing to say?

He wanted to be anywhere but here. Still, he stayed. Right now he was all Zoe had. He would face all the demons for her, real or imagined, and survive.

She held out her arms and looked expectant.

“What?” he asked.

“You need to give me a hug and then kiss it all better.”

Feeling both stupid and awkward, Walker wrapped his arms around her. He was careful not to squeeze too hard. Then he kissed the bandages.

When he was done, Zoe smiled. “Want to go to a movie? We could go to the mall and have lunch at the food court, and go shopping and go to a movie.”

It was his idea of the seventh level of hell. But who was he to refuse a five-year-old girl with the heart of a warrior?

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

AFTER THE FAIR CLOSED on Monday, Elissa packed up the last of her supplies and carried them to Walker’s SUV. One of the guys in a neighboring booth had helped her with the tables she’d rented.

“See you next year,” he called as she climbed into the driver’s side.

“Sure. Congratulations.”

She waved, then closed the door and started the engine.

Home, she thought wearily. She just wanted to be home. Home where she could be quiet and finally think. Or maybe not think. Maybe what she needed was to sleep.

Because she hadn’t the night before. Long after she’d gone to bed, she’d lain awake in the dark, staring at the ceiling, wondering what to do about Neil.

He hadn’t said how long he was going to be in Seattle, but she didn’t think he would make the trip for just a few nights of work. Which meant weeks, maybe even a month in the area. He could show up at any time, demanding more money, insisting she pay or he would want to see Zoe.

Her stomach clenched at the thought. Zoe thought her father was dead and that was better for everyone. But if things got ugly, Elissa could find herself having to tell Zoe about Neil—and she would do nearly anything to avoid that.

The fear grew until it was hard to think about anything else. She briefly considered running—packing up a few suitcases, grabbing Zoe and going. But where? And what would happen when they got there? Unless she figured out how to get a fake name and identification, Neil would eventually find her. How would she explain the situation to Zoe? Plus she hated the idea of running—it was too much like letting him win.

The most logical solution was to go to a lawyer. Something she should have done years ago. Neil was not a good influence for a small child. Surely the courts would see that. If she could work out a deal, pay Neil off and get him to sign a release of some kind, that would be the best solution. Only what would motivate him? She didn’t have enough money to give him a lump sum large enough to satisfy him.

A loan, she thought. Not from a bank, but maybe her parents or Frank. Even with her and her mother at odds, surely her parents would help her keep Zoe. Walker had the cash, but she wasn’t comfortable discussing Neil with him. Besides, she wasn’t sure any of them would approve of her decision to pay a drug addict to stay away from his child. What if they wanted her to be more reasonable, to let Neil have the chance to prove himself as a good father? Neil was a great manipulator. He’d had a lifetime of practice, using people. What if he convinced them he deserved a chance?

She eased the large SUV into the driveway and put it in park. Walker stepped out of her apartment and crossed toward her.

It was almost dark and he appeared to be more shadow than man. Yet she felt drawn to him. She wanted to jump out of the SUV and throw herself into his arms. She wanted to confess everything and have him hold her and tell her it was going to be all right. She’d been on her own for eight years and she was tired of being the only one responsible.

“Good day?” he asked, moving to the rear of the vehicle and opening the hatch. “Make millions?”

She managed a smile. “Close. We were busy right up to the end. I sold nearly everything I had.”

“Good for you. Are you tired?”

She nodded. Bone weary, and for reasons she realized she wasn’t going to explain. She might be able to handle a lot in her life, but she couldn’t face Walker looking at her with pity or scorn. Only an idiot would have gotten involved with Neil in the first place and only a fool would keep on paying him now.

He collected her few remaining boxes of supplies, then closed the back. “I’ll return the tables in the morning.”

“You don’t have to do that. I was going to take them in after work.” Which would have meant borrowing his SUV again.

“It’s on my way to work. Don’t sweat it.”

She’d prepaid for the tables, so that wasn’t a problem. “Okay. Thanks. They have a deposit check they’ll return.”

He followed her into her apartment and set the boxes on her worktable.

“How was Zoe?” she asked.

“Good. She went to bed right on time and was asleep in thirty seconds. We went to the mall, saw a movie, then had dinner at the food court.”

Somehow Walker didn’t strike her as the mall type. “Was it horrible?”

“I survived.”

She winced. “Why do I know the movie was pure torture?”

“At least it was short.”

They stood on opposite sides of the sofa. The last time they’d been alone in her apartment, they’d been making love. Everything was different now. Not only weren’t they alone—even though Zoe was in bed asleep—she felt as if their intimate experience had happened to someone else.

Even as her body cried out for him, her brain knew that getting involved—more involved—was dangerous. Not only for her own sense of self-preservation, but because having Neil around changed everything. If Walker knew about him, he would, in typical macho guy fashion, want to fix the problem. That could only lead to trouble.

While she didn’t doubt Walker could take care of himself in a fair fight, Neil was never fair. No, telling Walker about her problems with her ex would definitely mean trouble.

Before she could figure out a polite way to ask him to leave, he gestured for her to take a seat on the sofa. Given all he’d done for her, she owed him at least that. So she would talk for a while, then claim tiredness and get him out of here.

“I’m glad your booth was a success,” he said. “Does that mean you’ll get asked back next year?”

“I hope so. I liked watching people look at my designs. I could ask them questions and figure out what was selling best and why.” She glanced at him. “Your entire family came by. That was really nice of them. They certainly didn’t have to, but I appreciated the support.”

“They like you,” he said, then exhaled slowly. “Dani found out Ryan’s married.”

That got her attention. “What? Are you kidding?”

He shook his head. “His wife came by the restaurant yesterday. He’d never said a word about her. There’s a kid, too.”

Betrayal was never easy, she thought sadly. “How’s Dani holding up?”

“She’s tough. She’ll get through it. But having this happen only a couple of months after Hugh walked out on her and then turned up a cheater isn’t helping.”

Apparently Elissa wasn’t the only one with sucky taste in men. “Tell her I’m thinking of starting a club for women who’ve given up on men.”

His gaze snapped to her face. “I will.”

She realized what she’d said and wasn’t sure how to recover. “It’s just, before you…I’ve had issues. You know. In the past, I mean.”

He nodded without speaking. Silence filled the room. At last he said, “Something’s wrong. What happened?”

“Nothing. I’m fine. Beyond tired. This was a tough three days, but really worth it.”

His gaze didn’t waver. He studied her with an intensity that made her shift on the sofa.

“I’m fine,” she repeated firmly.

“There’s something. I can see it in your eyes.”

“You’re wrong. Let it go.”

Walker knew he probably should. She’d made it more than clear she wasn’t interested in telling him. But she looked…defeated. He’d never seen that in her before. Everything about her was tough and capable. What could have brought that on?

“Were you robbed?” he asked sharply.

“What? No. Of course not.” She pulled a wad of bills out of her jeans pocket. “I made a ton of money.”

“Did your mother stop by and harass you about Zoe?”

She actually rolled her eyes. “Will you stop? I’m good.”

She wasn’t. The more she protested, the more he was sure.

“Elissa, I can help.”

“You’re not going to let this go, are you?”

He wasn’t sure. His gut told him there was something serious at stake. That her defeat had come from a place of fear. But who could scare her and why? If she—

She slid across the sofa and straddled him. Before he could react, she put her hands on his shoulders and kissed him.

Her mouth was hot and aggressive. Her tongue darted into his mouth, claiming, teasing, arousing. While his brain knew this was nothing more than a distraction, his body was willing to play the game.

Still, he fought the sudden rise of both his need and his erection right up until she grabbed his hands and placed them on her breasts.

The soft curves beckoned him. He found himself exploring them, squeezing gently, then moving his thumbs across her tight nipples. He dropped his hands to her waist, then moved them up again, under her T-shirt. After unfastening her bra, he returned to her breasts, this time touching bare skin.

She was hot and demanding, rubbing herself against his arousal, kissing him deeply, then pulling back to nip on his jaw and neck and ear. She jerked his T-shirt over his head, then pulled off her own. Then she rose up on her knees and leaned forward so her nipple brushed against his mouth.

He had no choice but to wrap his arms around her, holding her close as he sucked and licked. Wanting pulsed through him, burning him with its intensity. He moved to her other breast. She clasped his head and whispered for him to take her.

“I want you,” she breathed.

Then she was gone. She stood and walked across the living room without once looking back. But at the entrance to the hall, she paused and kicked off her sandals, then pushed off her jeans and panties. The invitation was clear.

In deference to a small child living in the house, Walker kept his jeans on until he reached Elissa’s bedroom. Then he shut the door and gazed at the naked woman waiting for him in bed.

She lay on her back, a condom dangling from one hand. Her smile of invitation was all he needed. He shed the rest of his clothes and joined her on the bed.

She slid the condom onto him, then pushed him onto his back.

“I want to be on top,” she told him. Once again she straddled him, only this time there weren’t any layers between them. As she eased down on him, he pushed inside of her.

He felt the heat and dampness of her body as he entered her. She slid down slowly, claiming him in an erotic dance that made his body surge. Her breasts hung tantalizingly in front of him. He reached for them and rubbed her nipples.

She closed her eyes and groaned. As she rose and fell on him, her body contracted around him. The position meant she controlled both speed and depth, which meant she could push him too close too fast.

“Slow down,” he breathed, wanting to make sure she was as far along.

But she ignored him. Up and down, taking him deeper and deeper, drawing him in, tightening around him. He started to lower his hands to her hips, to make her stop, but she cried out.

“Touch me,” she breathed.

He returned his hands to her breasts.

She moved faster and faster until he reached the point of no return. Until he had to give it up with a shuddering moan. Pleasure shot through him, as he pushed into her and came.

When he was finished, he opened his eyes. “Elissa?”

“That was great,” she said as she moved off of him. “I’ll sleep tonight.”

Would she? Or was that as much a lie as the sex had been. Because what she’d just done hadn’t been about connecting or even getting off. Not for her. It had been about distracting him. He’d been had.

She walked to her closet and pulled out a robe, then yawned broadly. “Thanks, Walker. I’d ask you to stay, but with Zoe and all.” She looked at her clock radio. “Wow, when did it get so late? You must be exhausted from your day. Don’t let me keep you.”

“I HAVE TWENTY-SEVEN hundred dollars,” Elissa told the female attorney sitting across from her, wishing she’d had that money five years ago and had taken care of this then. “I’m not kidding about that. When that’s gone, I’m lucky to scrape together twenty-five dollars a week.”

Sally Chasley smiled. “Don’t worry, Elissa. We charge fees on a sliding scale basis. Right now the most important issue is dealing with your problem. You said you’re being harassed by your ex-husband.”

“No. Neil and I were never married. We were living together, with me paying for everything. He uses drugs, sometimes heavily. It gets expensive. Anyway, I got pregnant and he wanted me to have an abortion. I refused and I left.” Ran was more like it, Elissa thought grimly. She’d run for her life and Zoe’s.

“And then?” Sally prompted. “Did you get in touch with him after the baby was born?”

Elissa shook her head. “I saved money until I had enough for a bus ticket, then I came here.”

Sally frowned. “You didn’t discuss the baby with Neil? You didn’t talk to him about child support or getting involved in his daughter’s life?”

“I told you, Neil wanted me to have an abortion.”

“I know, but a lot of men panic at the thought of a baby. Especially a first child. But once that child is born, many of them change their minds. They want to be fathers.”

“Neil is only interested in his next fix.”

“Has he physically threatened you?”

Elissa didn’t like the direction of the conversation. “He beat me up when he found out I was pregnant.” Would that be enough? “He finds me and demands money. If I don’t pay him, he says he’s going to insist on being in Zoe’s life. Isn’t that extortion or something?”

Sally sighed. “Elissa, the law takes the rights of both parents seriously. Neil reacted badly one time. He hit you one time. It happens.”

Elissa couldn’t believe that. “How many times does he get to hit me before it’s not okay? What about his chronic drug use? I don’t want Zoe exposed to that.”

“Nor should she be. However, Neil still has the right to see his child. You could make a case for supervised visits. He would have to earn your and her trust.”

“I’ll never trust him,” she said flatly. “He doesn’t care about Zoe. He’s using her to get money from me.”

“You’re letting him,” Sally told her. “Stop paying. If what you’re saying is true, he’ll go away. If he pursues his parental rights, then perhaps you’re misjudging him. The bottom line is you can’t prevent a parent from seeing his or her children without cause. Not liking him isn’t sufficient grounds.”

It was her worst nightmare come true, she thought bitterly. No doubt the very sensible and clueless Sally would refuse to help her draft documents offering Neil a large sum of cash to relinquish his rights as a father.

“Thank you for your time,” Elissa said and stood. “If you’ll just tell me your hourly fee, I’ll pay you for your time.”

“Elissa, don’t go. Let’s talk about this more.”

“I don’t have anything else to say.”

ELISSA DROVE HOME Thursday after work feeling as if she’d been drop-kicked off a cliff. Both her body and her spirit ached and she suspected she only had herself to blame.

The meeting with the lawyer had been a disaster. Sally had offered nothing constructive. The idea that Neil was actually interested in Zoe was beyond stupid and it terrified her that a reasonably intelligent professional would even consider it. Did that mean the courts would lean that way, as well? If push came to shove, could Neil get visitation rights?

If only he would go away for a few years, she thought. He was known to disappear for months at a time, but she didn’t think she was going to get that lucky. Him finding her at the craft fair meant he suspected she had resources and therefore cash. If anything, his appearances might become more frequent.

She pulled up in front of her apartment and climbed out of her car. Zoe came running toward her.

“Mommy, Mommy, I love school so much!! We made a little book about our summer and I brought mine home to show you. And I brought my lunch today but tomorrow is tacos. Is that okay? Can I buy lunch tomorrow?”

“Of course.”

Her daughter flung herself at her. Elissa caught her and held her close. Okay, whatever else might be screwed up in her life, Zoe was exactly right. She was worth any price, any hardship and there was no way in hell Neil was getting his hands on her.

“So you had a good day, huh?” Elissa asked as they walked toward the apartment. “Were you good for Mrs. Ford?”

“Oh, she’s not here,” Zoe said happily. “She’s playing bridge. Walker is with me.”

Elissa stopped on the bottom step of her small porch. Shame and embarrassment rose up inside of her. Her face burned, her throat got tight and she wanted to curl up in a ball and disappear.

She hadn’t seen him since Monday night when she’d used sex to shut him up and get him out of the apartment.

After he’d left, she’d felt awful. Cheap and mean and disgusting. Seven years ago, she’d used her body to get a job after she and Mitch broke up and afterward, she’d felt so horrified with herself she’d vowed to never do anything like that again. But when backed into a corner, she’d taken the easy way out.

She hated herself for what she’d done and she was terrified to know what he must think of her. Sure, she’d known there could never be anything between them—he’d made that clear on multiple occasions—but she’d liked knowing they were friends and that he at least respected her. Now all that was gone.

“Come on, Mommy,” Zoe said, tugging on her hand.

Elissa couldn’t think of a way to avoid the encounter, so she sucked in a breath and stepped into the apartment.

Walker stood in the center of the room. A half-finished puzzle sat on the coffee table next to a couple of juice boxes.

He’d been in her house before, but this time was different. She felt exposed and embarrassed.

“I, ah, want to thank you for looking after Zoe,” she said, refusing to raise her gaze above the center of his chest. “I’m sorry Mrs. Ford bothered you. It’s the middle of your workday.”

“Not a problem.”

That couldn’t be true, she thought, wishing she could think of a gracious way to end the conversation.

“I need to get changed,” she said, motioning to her uniform, then practically running toward her bedroom.

She closed the door behind her and did her best to avoid looking at the bed. After changing, she wished she could hide out forever, but that wasn’t an option. She would have to face him sometime. Maybe it was better to get it over with sooner rather than later.

Or maybe he’d just left, she thought hopefully. Maybe he didn’t want to see her any more than she’d wanted to see him. But she had a feeling her luck wasn’t that good.

Sure enough, when she returned to the living room, she found Zoe engrossed in a video and Walker standing in the entrance to the kitchen. While she longed to settle next to her daughter, she knew Walker deserved an explanation, so she entered the kitchen and carefully closed the door behind them.

Once they were alone, she braced herself for the attack, but what he said instead was, “There’s an opening for an assistant manager at Buchanan’s. It’s the lunch shift, but you’d need to work a couple of nights a week. Maybe one weekend night. We have full benefits, including matching on the 401K. Management also has a profit-sharing plan, but that wouldn’t kick in for six months.” He named a salary that made her knees shake. “You interested?”

“Are you offering me a job?” she asked, not able to believe it.

“Yes.”

“You don’t know anything about me.”

He folded his arms over his chest. “I know plenty.”

If possible, her blush deepened. “I meant you don’t know anything about my work life. If I show up on time, what kind of work I do. I have no management experience and I’ve never worked in a restaurant other than Eggs ’n’ Stuff. Why would you think I’m qualified?”

“I’ve seen you work until your fingers are swollen. You’re always out of here plenty early, so I know you get to your shift on time. The job is considered entry level management. You’d learn as you go.”

It was a terrific opportunity. So why did she have a knot in her stomach?

“I like the job I have,” she told him.

His gaze narrowed. “This one’s better.”

“I don’t want to work nights. I’m not willing to give up my time with Zoe.”

“We’re talking one or two evenings.”

“I don’t…” She swallowed. “I won’t work for someone I’ve slept with.”

There. She’d said it. Now he was going to pounce all over her and want to know why things had gone the way they had.

“Dammit, Elissa,” Walker said, careful to keep his voice low, which she appreciated. “What the hell kind of game is this? You know it’s a good job. Why won’t you consider it? If your reasons are about me, don’t worry. I’m a temp.”

“You think things are going to be better when your grandmother comes back? You think she won’t fire me that first day?”

“We do a contract. She won’t be able to.”

“Oh, great. So the president of the company will be stuck with me. That should be fun.”

“I’m trying to help.”

“This isn’t helping. Besides, I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine.” He paused and drew in a breath, as if trying to control his temper. “You’re not fine,” he repeated. “Something is wrong. Do you think I’m stupid? Whatever it is had to be pretty damn big for you to go to that kind of extreme just to change the subject. What is it?”

“Nothing I want to talk about with you.”

“Look around. You don’t have anyone else. You need me.”

She didn’t need anyone. Never had, never would. “Talk about an ego,” she told him, stepping forward so she could make her point without raising her voice. “I was doing just fine before you came along.”

He made a sound that was suspiciously like a growl. “I’m not talking about money or the fact that I can unfasten lug nuts. I’m the one person you can talk to. Who else are you going to tell? Mrs. Ford?”

“I don’t make it a habit of talking about my problems.”

His gaze narrowed. “So there is something wrong.”

“No. I meant in a general sense. Look, Walker, if you want to make a complaint, put it in writing. Otherwise—”

He dropped his hands to his sides. “Do not tell me to leave.”

“It’s my house.”

She could feel the frustration building up inside of him. Despite his physical presence and strength, she wasn’t afraid. He would never hurt her.

“Something happened at the craft fair,” he said. “I know and you know. So can we please stop playing this game so you can tell me what the hell it is?”

She opened her mouth to tell him no, but suddenly she couldn’t. He was right—she didn’t have anyone else in her life.

“Zoe’s father showed up on Sunday,” she said quietly. “He’s in Seattle with some band. He wanted money. It’s the same thing every time—either I pay him off or he’s going to become a part of Zoe’s life.”

“Did you give him money?”

“All I’d made that day.”

“And you think he’ll be back?”

“I know he will.”

Instead of speaking, Walker moved close and put his arms around her. She resisted the embrace.

“I’m fine,” she insisted. “I can handle this.”

“No one doubts that, but even the Marines sometimes call in reinforcements.”

He pulled her against him and she gave in because she didn’t have the strength to keep standing on her own.

“I’m so scared,” she whispered.

“I’m right here. We can handle this. I’ll help.”

She wanted to make him promise that he meant what he said. That he wouldn’t change his mind.

She was a woman who didn’t trust men in her life and he was a man who didn’t trust himself. But her gut said to go with him. Despite everything, Walker was turning out to be the best kind of hero.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

DANI SPENT SO MUCH TIME on her hair and makeup that she felt like a beauty contestant. Ryan, aka the weasel loser, had called in sick for the past couple of days, but he was expected back and she needed to be braced to face him. Hence the extra time spent on her appearance, along with the decision to dress in a killer pair of black slacks and fitted silk blouse. If there was any kind of spillage from the kitchen, she would be crushed, but the risk was worth it. She wanted Ryan to regret what he’d lost. She wanted him to pay.

Unfortunately she’d yet to find out a way to make that happen, but she was working on it. Eventually something would come to her.

She got into work at her regular time and noted his car wasn’t in the parking lot yet. Good. She could load up on coffee and brace herself.

About a half hour later, while she was editing Edouard’s suggestions for specials, she heard familiar footsteps in the hallway. She didn’t glance up, but she took a second to brace herself to confront the lying cheat.

“Dani,” he said, his voice low and seductive. “Hi.”

She looked at him, at the handsome face, the killer eyes and knew she’d been duped by a master. “Ryan.”

“How are you? I’ve been worried about you.”

Had he? Oh, goody. Her life was now complete due to his amazing concern.

“Why?” she asked.

He stepped into the room and shut the door behind him. “Because of what happened. Jen coming here like that.” He sighed. “I really didn’t want you to find out that way.”

Oh. My. God. His words were so familiar, it was almost eerie. Were all men chronically unable to take responsibility? Hugh had said the same sort of thing to her, saying he felt so awful about her finding out about his affair but never apologizing for actually cheating, the bastard.

Like Hugh, Ryan wasn’t sorry for what he’d done, he was just upset about being caught.

“How did you want me to find out?” she asked cheerfully. “Or were you hoping I never would?”

“I, ah…” He looked startled, as if he hadn’t expected the question. “Dani—”

She cut him off with a flick of her fingers. “Here’s my question. Have you ever been faithful to your wife? Did you at least wait a couple of months before starting to cheat? Because there’s no way in hell I’m the first time. You’re too smooth at the lies.”

He stiffened. “I love my family.”

“Of course you do. I can see it in every move you make. Sleeping with me was such an incredible act of love. Is Jen grateful?”

“Are you threatening me?” he asked. “Are you going to tell her?”

“Honestly, the thought never crossed my mind. I think you’re hurting her enough for both of us, so I don’t need to. Now that I realize what an asshole you are, I would like to tell her the truth, but I suspect she wouldn’t believe me. I’m sure you’ve convinced her you’re all things wonderful. It’s funny. When I first found out I felt really sorry for myself, but I don’t anymore. I feel sorry for her. I’m in a position to walk away and never look back.”

He swallowed. “You’re going to have your brother fire me, aren’t you?”

“Not necessarily. You’re a decent general manager and with Penny out on maternity leave, the restaurant can’t handle any more changes right now. So as long as you don’t piss me off, you’re safe. But you will play it straight with every single woman who works here and every woman I may ever encounter. You’ll start the conversation by announcing you’re married and not even think about flirting. Do I make myself clear?”

“You’re still angry.”

She considered the statement. “You know, I’m not. I thought I would be, but I feel oddly cleansed by this conversation. Maybe because I finally get that I didn’t do anything wrong. That was the thing I hated, that I’d made such a lousy choice. But I didn’t. You set out to convince me you were exactly what I was looking for. I had no reason to mistrust you. You lied, I didn’t. Thanks to Al, our fabulous cat, you’re the only rat in this building, and I can live with that.”

WALKER STAYED for dinner. Elissa found it interesting that her once-reserved neighbor was now comfortable with her five-year-old. Zoe and Walker chatted easily and even had a couple of shared jokes from their day at the mall.

He was so different from any man she’d ever known. Some of it was her life circumstances. She’d gone from being a kid in high school to a runaway on her own. Being on the fringes of the music business in L.A. hadn’t exactly put her in the path of very many guys who could be considered normal. Then she’d gotten pregnant and returned to Seattle where her lifestyle didn’t lend itself to meeting a lot of single men.

So Walker was quite the change. But it was more than that. Some of the differences came from who he was. She had trouble reconciling a man who would carefully and patiently play cat’s cradle with her daughter with an eighteen-year-old who had abandoned his dying girlfriend.

So what had happened in the fourteen plus years in between? Was it just a matter of growing up? Or was it deeper than that? He’d run from Charlotte to avoid death and pain, yet he’d planted himself right in the middle of a war. He’d sent men into battle and some of them had been killed. And what about his quest for Ben’s Ashley? How much of that was guilt about Ben taking a bullet and how much of it was about his leaving Charlotte?

Walker was a complex man, she thought as she sipped her wine and listened to her daughter laugh. But a good man. She didn’t like that he’d run out on his girlfriend, but she also didn’t like several pieces of her own past. Everyone made mistakes. The measure of a person was what happened afterward.

Later, when Zoe was in bed, Elissa returned to the living room and settled on the sofa. Walker had produced another bottle of wine which, given her exhaustion and stress level, might be considered dangerous. On the other hand, alcohol would make it easier to talk about Neil, who happened to be her big mistake.

“Neil’s come after you before,” Walker said by way of introduction.

She nodded. “He often travels with bands. It’s easier than putting his own together—that might require actual work, something he really hates. He’s been through twice before. I don’t know how he got my phone number, but he did. He would call and say we had to meet. If I refused, he threatened me. When I showed up he would start talking about Zoe and how he doesn’t ever see her. It was always some version of that. I would give him whatever money I had and he would go away.”

“Have you ever talked to him about signing a release?”

“No. Why would he agree when he can just step up to the money train anytime he’s in town?” She sipped her wine. “Neil is a gifted musician and songwriter. When he’s clean, he’s brilliant. Still an ass, but brilliant. When he’s on drugs, all he can do is play guitar and try to get through a day.”

“Legally what he’s doing is blackmail,” Walker told her. “There are laws against that.”

“I know, but if I push things legally, it could get ugly. He could tell the courts he desperately wants to see his daughter. He’s a good liar. He could also say I’ve been keeping her from him, which is true. I saw a lawyer today.”

“From the look on your face, it didn’t go well.”

“Not even close. She wasn’t very sympathetic. Her feeling was supervised visits wouldn’t be such a bad thing. Neil had never been emotionally or physically abusive, so Zoe’s not at risk. The fact that Neil told me to get an abortion didn’t seem to matter, either. She feels that many men react badly to an unexpected pregnancy and that I shouldn’t hold that against him.”

She clutched her glass in both hands. “The thought of getting involved in the legal system terrifies me. What if he were to win the right to see Zoe? Neil doesn’t care about her. He would use that right to get money from me. I can see him running off with her and then holding her hostage while I begged or borrowed more money.”

Her eyes began to burn. She drew in a breath and concentrated on staying in control.

“I would do anything to keep Zoe safe. I’ve even thought about running away. I just didn’t know if I could start over again. And she would hate it.”

“Running is a temporary solution. You need something permanent.”

His words were cold and flat and for the first time since getting to know him, she remembered that Walker was a man capable of killing.

“What are you thinking?” she asked, not sure she really wanted to know.

“That I want to find him and beat the shit out of him. That I want to teach him a lesson he’ll never forget and make him understand that if he ever gets near you or Zoe again, it would be the last thing he did.” His mouth twisted. “Scared?”

“Of you?” She shook her head. “No. You wouldn’t hurt me or Zoe. I’m not even sure you’d hurt Neil. I believe you’d want to, but I don’t know that you could just walk up to him and beat on him.”

“Want to bet?”

She smiled. “I don’t think so.”

He stared at her for a few seconds, then said, “You need to talk to a lawyer.”

“I just did. It was awful.”

“I’m talking about a specialist. Someone who will take your side and get the job done. Someone brutal.”

“Someone expensive,” she said, thinking of her pathetic twenty-seven hundred dollars and knowing a lawyer like that would suck it up in a week.

“Experienced,” he said. “I want to do some research and find the right person. I’ll pay for it and before you get all emotional, let me say this is a loan. You can pay me back over time.”

“I don’t get emotional,” she told him, even as she considered his offer. In her heart she knew that continuing to pay off Neil would only lead to trouble. If she could find someone who would really help, then she could keep Zoe safe.

“You do,” he said. “Okay. Have at it. I’m braced for the fight.”

She smiled. “There isn’t going be a fight. Thank you for the offer and yes, please, find someone to help me.”

He opened his mouth, then closed it. His expression of shock made her giggle.

“I had all my arguments lined up,” he said with a frown. “They were pretty good.”

“You can still use them if you want. I’ll just sit here and listen, and then I can applaud.”

He reached across the sofa and touched her cheek. “Better,” he said. “I like the attitude. It’s been missing lately.”

She covered his fingers with her own. “You’ve been so good to me and I’ve…” Oh, God. She had to apologize, but just thinking about what she’d done made her want to crawl under a rock. “I wanted to tell you I was sorry. About what happened. About what I did. It was wrong and I feel awful. I panicked and reacted but that’s no excuse.”

“It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not. I hate that I went there. It makes me feel as if I haven’t grown at all. I just kept thinking I had to distract you.”

“You did a hell of a job.” He leaned in and kissed her. “Here’s an idea. You quit beating yourself up, I’ll accept your apology and we’ll call it a day.”

He was making it easy on her. “Thank you,” she said. “Was it too awful?”

He kissed her again. “Emotionally it sucked but physically, let’s see. I had a beautiful woman desperate to have her way with me. Every guy should be so abused. And just as a heads-up, you’re never allowed to tell anyone I care about emotions during sex. I have a reputation to think about.”

The last of her guilt and shame faded away as she studied his face.

“Your secret is safe with me,” she promised.

“Good. Now…” He took the wine from her and set both their glasses on the coffee table. “The way I see it, you owe me and I think it’s time to collect.”

Her first instinct was to protest. Not because she didn’t want to make love with him, but because she felt foolish and awkward.

“I’m nervous,” she admitted.

“Nervous as in no?”

She stared into his dark eyes. He would stop if she told him to. He would walk away and never blame her.

“Nervous as in ‘Oh, God, what does he really think of me’?”

He leaned in and kissed her. “That kind of nervous I can handle.”

WALKER DRESSED while Elissa stepped into the shower. It was still dark outside and not much past four in the morning. They’d stayed up way too late making love and he knew she was going to spend her day exhausted. But based on the way she’d moaned and writhed beneath him, he was willing to bet she’d think the night had been a fair trade for sleep. Besides, it was Friday and the end of her workweek.

He considered going upstairs and sleeping for another hour, but then decided to get an early start on his day. He could—

His cell phone rang. He grabbed it, then studied the caller ID. Cal. Which meant…

“Hello?” he said. “Cal?”

“Penny’s in labor,” his brother said, sounding both excited and terrified. “We’re at the hospital. It’s going to be a few hours yet, but I wanted you to know we’re here.”

“Want me to come in now or wait?”

“You can wait. I’m staying pretty close to Penny, so you’d just be hanging out by yourself. But check back with me.”

“Will do. Tell her good luck and that I’ll be thinking about her.”

“Sure. I’m gonna call Reid. See you soon.”

Cal hung up. Elissa walked out of the bathroom, her hair pulled back and a large chicken staring at him from the front of her apron.

“Everything okay?” she asked. “Is it your grandmother?”

He hadn’t given Gloria a single thought. “No, Penny’s in labor.”

Elissa grinned. “At last. I know she was ready to have the baby out. Are you going to the hospital?”

“They just got there. Cal said I should wait. I thought I’d go by this afternoon.”

“First babies can be slow. I was lucky. Zoe only took about six hours, but I’ve heard horror stories of long deliveries. Can I call you later and find out how she’s doing?”

“Of course. Do you want to come by the hospital after work?”

“I’d like to but I don’t want to get in the way.”

“You won’t. Phone me and I’ll let you know if we have a kid yet or not. How’s that?”

“Perfect.” She raised up on her tiptoes and kissed him. “Want coffee?”

“I’d rather have you, but I’ll take what I can get.”

WALKER ARRIVED at the hospital shortly after one in the afternoon. Cal had called to say Penny was ready to deliver, so by the time Walker arrived, Reid was standing in front with good news.

“A girl,” Reid said with a grin as he pounded Walker on the back. “She’s kinda red and squashed, but Penny and Cal think she’s beautiful so don’t say anything.”

“You seen Penny yet?”

“For a couple of seconds. She’s tired but happy. There’s some test for newborns and the baby did great, so that’s good.”

Walker knew both Cal and Penny had to be relieved. Penny had miscarried their first baby years ago.

“Dani’s here,” Reid told him as he led him to the elevator and pushed the up button. “She was the standby coach in case Cal couldn’t do it, but he managed. Said he nearly passed out a couple of times.” Reid grimaced. “I never much thought about having kids. Now I’m thinking I won’t.”

“Based on Cal’s one experience?” Walker asked. “You might want to come up with a better reason.”

They stepped onto the elevator. “Do I need one?” Reid asked. “Do you?” He narrowed his gaze. “It’s Elissa, isn’t it? Her daughter’s getting to you.”

Walker wasn’t about to admit that. “Zoe’s a good kid, but that doesn’t mean I’m ready to be a father.”

He’d never thought about having a family because he’d long ago decided he would never get married. Connections weren’t for him. He couldn’t be trusted.

Except the familiar litany no longer had such a ring of truth. After all these years, was he willing to let the past go? Was he willing to forgive himself?

They stepped off the elevator and onto a long corridor. The maternity ward was bright and airy, but the underlying smell of hospital was still there. Walker flashed back to visiting soldiers in makeshift wards after a battle and then he remembered visiting Charlotte after her first surgery. How she’d been scared and he’d promised she would be fine.

He’d been wrong. And then he’d left. He swore silently as he remembered her tears when she figured out he was leaving, that he wasn’t going to stick around and watch her die.

He should have stayed. He should have been there for her. They’d been in love, and when the going had gotten tough…

So did he have the right to forgive himself? Did he have the right to acknowledge the mistake and move on? She had told him to. Maybe that’s what made this all so difficult—that she’d been able to see what no one else had. His coward’s heart.

He’d faced death, had sent men to die. He’d been wounded, taken prisoner for an ugly three weeks and had lived to tell the tale. But did that change who he was inside? He wasn’t as concerned about anyone else trusting him as he was about trusting himself.

“Hey, big guy.”

Walker turned at the sound of the familiar voice. But the woman walking toward him wasn’t exactly the tall, brunette bombshell he remembered. She still wore leather pants and come-fuck-me boots, but her walk, her smile, everything else was different. Softer. Happy.

“Naomi.”

She smiled, shrugged, then moved toward him and hugged him. “In the flesh, so to speak.”

“You look good,” he said.

“I feel good,” she told him as she stepped back.

“You’re still hot.”

“I do okay.” She linked arms with him. “Have you seen the baby?”

“No.”

“Then let me show you. She’s beautiful.” She led him down the corridor. “How are you doing? Penny told me you’ve taken over Buchanan Enterprises. I would never have predicted that happening.”

“Me, either. But there wasn’t anyone else.”

“There’s always someone else. But I’m sure they appreciate you stepping up and saving them from the job.”

They stopped in front of the nursery. Naomi glanced around. “Oh, they’re still fussing with her. She’ll be along in a few minutes. So are you happy?”

“Are you?” he asked, sidestepping a typically blunt Naomi question.

She smiled. “Yes. Blissfully so. My husband and I are back together. The old fool didn’t bother to fall out of love with me, which makes no sense.”

“You’d be hard to replace.”

“Aren’t you sweet for saying that.” She sighed. “We have a lot of work to do on the relationship, but we’re determined. We’re also going to adopt a little girl from China. We’ve sent in the paperwork and we’re very hopeful.”

He knew about the loss of her son and how she’d nearly lost herself in the grief. “Good for you.”

“Have you found Ashley?”

He didn’t want to think of failing Ben, but he was running out of names on the list. “Not yet. I’m beginning to think she doesn’t exist.”

“She does and you’ll find her,” Naomi told him. “Have faith.”

“There’s not a lot of that going around.”

“There should be.” She faced him and took his hands in hers. “You’re a good man, Walker Buchanan. One of the best I know, and I’ve known plenty. Don’t give up on yourself or the world and don’t stop saving people, especially yourself.”

“I haven’t saved anyone,” he said gruffly, not believing a word of it, but also unwilling to get trapped into an emotional moment.

“You saved me,” she said quietly. “You saved my life in more ways than you can know.” She raised herself onto her toes and lightly kissed his mouth. “For old times’ sake, whatever the hell that means.”

He touched her cheek. “I’m glad you found your way.”

“Me, too. I wish you could—” She sighed, then swore. “Okay, there’s a very attractive woman in her midtwenties glaring at me like I’m the devil with boobs. I’m guessing you know her.”

Walker held in a groan as he turned and saw Elissa standing about six feet away. She’d obviously gone home and changed because she wasn’t wearing her chicken uniform. She also didn’t look all that happy.

He stepped back from Naomi, but knew it was too little too late and that he was going to have a hell of a lot of explaining to do. Before he could figure out how to start or what to say, Naomi released his hands and walked over to Elissa.

“Hi, I’m Naomi,” she said with an easy smile. “I’m an old friend of Penny’s and a friend of the family. I mean that. I’ve even seen Cal naked—which is a fascinating story, if I do say so myself. I’m happily married and Walker never really saw me as anything significant anyway, but I will admit to trying.”

Too much information, Elissa thought, feeling both embarrassed and exposed. She felt as if she’d walked in on something intimate and she didn’t like being the outsider.

“Nice to meet you,” she said, forcing herself to smile and hoping she looked pleasant instead of shell-shocked. She’d known Walker had flaws, but she hadn’t considered kissing other women would be one of them.

“Okay. I’m going to go check on Penny,” the other woman said and strolled away.

Elissa watched her go. Naomi was everything she wasn’t—tall, elegant, confident and beautiful. Worse, Elissa could imagine Walker with her. They would have made a stunning couple. Both fiercely sexual and larger than life.

“Elissa,” Walker said awkwardly. “Naomi and I are friends. Nothing more.”

“Now,” Elissa murmured as she fought the sudden wave of nausea that swept over her. “Before you were a whole lot more.”

“We weren’t romantically involved,” he said. “I want you to know that.”

“But you were lovers.”

She didn’t mean to say that. The words simply popped out on their own.

He was silent for a long time, then admitted, “Once.”

Great. Once as in “one time” or once as in “once upon a time but it lasted for weeks and weeks?” Not sure she could handle the truth, she drew in a deep breath.

“No biggie,” she said, lying and hoping he couldn’t tell.

“It’s not,” he told her, moving close and gazing into her eyes. “I could have said we weren’t lovers, but I don’t want to lie to you. It was one time. We were lost souls looking for a little peace, nothing more.”

He was both making the situation better and worse, she thought, wishing she could see the humor in it. Maybe later, when she didn’t feel so raw. Intellectually she knew that his wanting to clear the air was a good thing. It meant his relationship with her was important. But why did he have to have slept with an Amazon beauty? Why not some silly mousy blonde with the personality of a cucumber?

“Are we all right?” he asked.

She nodded, then pointed as “Baby Buchanan” was placed in her bassinet.

They turned to stare at the infant. Walker said something about Reid saying she wasn’t all that much to look at but he thought she wasn’t so bad. Elissa may have responded. She wasn’t completely sure. Mostly because her brain had frozen, just like a computer in the middle of a glitch. There was only one thought in her head and it played over and over again until it had burned itself into her neurons or synapses or whatever it was in her brain.

That she could never be beautiful and amazing like Naomi or any of the other women Walker rescued. That she was just a lost soul, too, and wasn’t this a hell of a time to realize she was in love with him?

CHAPTER NINETEEN

ELISSA FOUND HERSELF somewhere she wasn’t sure she was ever going to be again…standing in front of her parents’ house. She hadn’t meant to drive here. Somehow her car had gotten on the freeway and this was where she’d ended up.

Her whole body hurt and the list of reasons why seemed to stretch on forever. Just a few weeks ago, she’d felt really good about her life. Suddenly everything had changed and not necessarily for the better. She’d thought she was handling it, the stress of Neil, building her jewelry business, watching her baby grow up and start school. But seeing the stunning brunette in Walker’s arms had created the last crack in her already crumbling facade.

But to run here? Her last encounter with her mother had been less than friendly. To be honest, she wasn’t sure they were even speaking. This was crazy.

She turned to leave, then stopped when the front door opened. Her mother stood there.

“I thought I heard a car pull up,” she said, her expression unreadable. “Elissa. Are you all right?”

Elissa opened her mouth, closed it and stunned them both by bursting into tears.

“I’ll take that as a no,” her mother said, stepping out onto the porch and putting an arm around her. “Come on inside, honey. Whatever the problem is, I know we can fix it.”

Elissa allowed herself to be led into the house. It felt good to relinquish control of her life, even for a few minutes, to pretend to be that young girl who had always run home when there was trouble.

Why hadn’t she done that when she’d found out she was pregnant? Why had she taken the word of a thirteen-year-old?

“I was afraid you’d stopped loving me,” she said with a sob. “That’s why I believed Bobby. I knew I’d hurt you and I knew you’d be so mad. I thought you’d want to punish me and I was afraid if I came back you would tell me to go away.”

“Never,” her mother said, rubbing her back as she guided them into the kitchen. “You’re my daughter, my firstborn child, Elissa. I love you. I’ll always love you. There’s nothing you could ever do to change that.” She sighed. “I’m sorry I got sick. I’m sorry we stopped looking.”

Elissa sank into a kitchen chair and looked at her. “That’s not your fault. I’m sorry I ran away, Mom. I’m the reason you got sick.”

Her mother sat next to her and reached for her hand. “You were a kid. I wish I’d been stronger. If we’d just kept looking a little longer, we would have found you.” Tears filled her mother’s eyes. “You could have come home.”

Home. That sounded nice. Except this wasn’t her home anymore. She had her own family and her own life.

“I really blew it,” Elissa said and wiped her face with her free hand. “Really bad.” She swallowed. “I don’t know how to tell you, even.”

“Just start at the beginning and go until you’re done.”

Which sounded so easy. She drew in a deep breath. “Zoe’s father isn’t dead. He’s alive and currently here, in Seattle. His name is Neil.”

She explained the ugly truth about him, about their relationship and how stupid she’d been. She detailed the drug use, the blackmail and how he’d found her at the craft fair.

“I know he’s going to keep coming after me for money,” she said. “I went to a lawyer and she was pretty useless. Basically she tried to convince me there was nothing wrong with Neil wanting to see Zoe. Only I won’t let that happen. I can’t. Do you know what he’d do to her? What he’d expose her to?”

“Of course you’re not going to let him see her,” her mother said firmly. “My God, that woman was an idiot. Neil isn’t interested in his parental rights. No one has the right to use a child like that. You need a different lawyer.”

“That’s what Walker said,” Elissa admitted. “He’s going to help me find someone who can take on Neil and win.” Walker. She didn’t want to think about him now, but how could she not.

“He’s been so good to me,” she murmured. “So there. No guy’s ever been there like him. He’s strong and caring and really amazing.” The tears started up again. “And that sounds really perfect, doesn’t it? But it’s not perfect. Because finally, after all the losers I got involved with and promising myself I’d never fall for anyone again, I did. I fell for him. I love him and he doesn’t love me.”

She hiccuped and brushed away her tears again. “I know he likes me, but that’s not love. He won’t let himself love. He feels guilty about some stuff that happened a long time ago and while I understand that, I don’t think I can get him to realize it’s time to let the past go. He thinks he’s not good enough or worthy or something. But I think he’s worthy. I get that what he did happened a long time ago. He was really young and he needs to give himself a break. And maybe he would, except there’s Naomi who’s so tall and beautiful and about as far from average as anyone could get. How am I supposed to compete against that?”

Fresh sobs broke free. Her mother moved closer and hugged her tight.

“You have a lot on your plate.”

“I guess,” Elissa said, fighting back tears. How long could one breakdown take?

But her mother didn’t pressure her to stop or straighten up or be strong. Instead she held her, rocking back and forth.

When Elissa finally felt able to get a little control, she straightened. “So, Mom, how are you?”

The two women laughed.

“The way I see it,” her mother said a few minutes later over coffee and cookies, “you need to prioritize. Neil has to be dealt with first. Walker’s right. You do need a good lawyer. One who’ll kick Neil’s ass.”

Elissa raised her eyebrows. “I don’t remember you ever saying ‘ass’ before.”

“I kept that sort of thing from my children,” her mother said primly. “But you’re an adult now. I also say ‘damn,’ but that’s about all. Your father uses the really dirty words.”

Information she did not need, Elissa thought wryly.

“Anyway,” her mother said. “Back to the lawyer. We can help with the money.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I want to and your father will, as well. Besides, the money’s actually yours. Your college fund,” she said, then shrugged. “It’s just been sitting there compounding. We always wanted you to come home and learn you had a nest egg waiting. I was thinking you’d use it for a down payment on a house, but this is more important. Let’s skin the weasel.”

Despite everything, Elissa laughed. “Go, Mom!”

“I can be tough,” her mother said.

“I know you can.” She hesitated. “I’m sorry I got weird before…about you seeing Zoe. I was upset and confused. I want you to be a part of her life. I want her to know how amazing you and Dad are.”

“I know, honey. You shouldn’t worry about that. We have a lot to deal with and a lot of catching up to do. That’s going to take time and cause a little stress, but we’ll get through it. I’ve been thinking about that lately—all you did. How you made it on your own with a baby. You had no job skills, no education, nothing but determination. I’m not sure I would have been so successful.”

“You would have,” Elissa said softly. “You would have done it for me or Bobby.”

“The power of loving a child.” Her mother pushed the plate of cookies toward her. “All right. We’ve reconciled, we have a plan for Neil, so what about Walker?”

Elissa bit into a cookie and chewed. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to get through to him.”

“Tell him the truth,” her mother advised. “Tell him you love him.”

“What? I can’t say that.”

“Why not? What’s the worst that will happen?”

What would be the worst? “I’ll never see him again. He’ll run and I’ll be alone.”

“You’ve been alone before. So that’s survivable. And if he runs, then he’s not the man for you. Loving someone is a gift and if the guy in question is too stupid to realize that, then you’re better off without him. Wouldn’t you want to know that sooner rather than later?”

Elissa thought about the wonderful times she and Walker had shared. The way he was so patient with Zoe, how great he was in bed. “I prefer later.”

Her mother raised her eyebrows. “Are you sure about that?”

Elissa sighed. “Okay, not the mature answer, I know. You’re right. Find out now and then I can get started on getting over him. How’s that?”

“Better,” her mother said. “Besides, don’t you want him to know? Even if it doesn’t work out, wouldn’t it be better to tell him so you don’t spend the rest of your life wondering ‘what if?’”

“You’re using logic in a matter of the heart. I’m not sure that’s even legal.”

“Trust him to do the right thing,” her mother said. “If you can’t do that, then trust yourself to survive whatever happens.”

WALKER SCROLLED through the August numbers. Business was up, which was what he liked to see. Apparently the employees liked having more responsibility and they were proving it in a tangible way. If this kept up another month, Buchanan Enterprises was due for its best year yet.

A fact that would fry his grandmother, he thought cheerfully. Maybe knowing he was doing a damn good job would encourage her to get better more quickly.

His phone buzzed. “A Mr. Dalton on line one for you,” Vicki said. “He won’t tell me what it’s about.”

Walker frowned as he picked up the receiver. “Buchanan,” he said.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Buchanan,” the man on the other end said. “I’m Jonathan Dalton. My firm specializes in placing highly qualified candidates in growth opportunities. If you have a few minutes, I’d like to tell you about just such an opportunity because you’re exactly the kind of candidate we’re looking for.”

It took him a second to realize the guy was a headhunter. “What’s the business?” he asked and braced himself for a detailed explanation of gunrunning, security or straight-out black ops.

“A small chain of restaurants in Idaho. They’re not The Waterfront or Buchanan’s,” Dalton said heartily. “But that’s our client’s goal. To grow the business. To reach a higher level of quality and service, not to mention appeal. The salary is generous and there is ownership potential. Let me tell you a little bit about the company.”

Dalton continued to talk, but Walker wasn’t listening. Restaurants? The guy was calling him about restaurants? Not war or danger or death?

“Are you familiar with my background?” Walker asked. “You know I was in the Marines for nearly fifteen years.”

“Of course. Our client believes that kind of experience builds leadership. Now you have hands-on in the restaurant business, which makes you the perfect candidate.”

Walker doubted that a few weeks of running the family company qualified as “hands-on experience” but it was good to hear someone else did. Until that moment, he’d never seriously considered he might have a career outside of something military.

“I appreciate you thinking of me,” he said, “but I’m not interested. I’m going to be tied up here for several more months.” Then he didn’t know what he was going to do, but there seemed to be dozens of possibilities.

Mr. Dalton sighed. “I was afraid you were going to say that. All right. I understand. But I’d like to send you some information on our firm. You’re exactly the kind of person we like to offer our clients. Perhaps you could send me a résumé when you have time.”

“Sure thing,” Walker said, thinking now he’d have to write one.

He finished with the call, then walked to the window and stared out at Gloria’s view.

A few weeks ago, he’d felt as if he didn’t have any choices. Running the company had been a job he’d taken on by default, yet he’d quickly found himself enjoying his work. Was he a tycoon in the making?

The thought made him smile. Maybe not a tycoon, but there were other things he could do. Other jobs, other careers. He still had his ghosts, but they came less frequently. The dreams were still there and would be until he found that one person who cared.

After fifteen years in the Corps, he should know how to move on. He had known, until Ben. Until that kid had gotten under his skin. He, Walker, had vowed to keep Ben alive and he’d failed.

He wouldn’t fail again.

“I WASON THE ROAD A LOT,” Reid said, annoyed with himself for even bothering to explain to someone who wasn’t interested.

Lori Johnston stood in the center of Gloria’s large library and stared at him blankly. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Of course she didn’t, he thought irritably. She’d passed judgment on him and then had dismissed him. Just as he should have dismissed her. But he hadn’t. No matter where he went or what he did or who he was with, he kept remembering her comment about him ignoring his grandmother and that being the reason she was so difficult.

“She doesn’t like people,” he said.

“Who?” Lori asked in the kind of tone usually reserved for dealing with the mentally disabled.

“My grandmother. She’s not a people person.”

“I haven’t met her yet,” Lori said, obviously not the least bit interested in the conversation. “I’m sure she’s perfectly lovely.”

“She’s not. She difficult and demanding. She has her grandchildren followed. Walker’s seen the reports. She actually hires private investigators to find out about our lives.”

Lori’s steady, cool gaze drilled into him. “Perhaps if her grandchildren were more interested in her well-being than in their own, she wouldn’t be forced to resort to such drastic measures.”

“Forced? No one’s forcing her. She’s doing this all on her own and do you know why?”

“Because she’s lonely and you’re the only family she has in the world and you’re too busy for her?”

He wanted to hit something or strangle something. His gaze zeroed in on her neck. “You haven’t even met the woman. Why are you taking her side?”

“In my experience, the elderly are often abandoned or at the very least, shuffled aside. You yourself said you were on the road all the time. What does that say about your relationship with your grandmother?”

His fingers twitched. “I played baseball. Of course I was gone. That’s what the job involves. Traveling from city to city.”

“For a season,” Lori said. “How long is that? Five or six months? What about the rest of the year?” She walked to the tall windows and pulled open the drapes. Sunlight spilled onto the hardwood floor. “You’re trying to convince me of something, Mr. Buchanan, but I can’t figure out what. My advice is that you stop trying. Seriously. You and I don’t need much more than a very casual relationship for me to do my job.” She smiled. “It’s not as if we’ll be seeing a lot of each other.”

He got that—the little jab as she implied he wouldn’t be visiting. The whole damn thing was annoying, he thought. He wanted to tell her that he’d been the only one of the grandchildren willing to take on the task of lining up home-care nurses for Gloria. That he’d been to the hospital three times and that he had visited the old bat in the off-season.

But before he could explain, Lori was talking again.

“I think this room is perfect,” she said. “Have the desk removed and those two chairs. Leave the recliner. She’ll like that. The area rug is fine, as well. The hospital bed and table will be delivered tomorrow. I confirmed with them before I came over. Someone will be here to let them in?”

She raised her tone as if she were asking a question, but Reid knew she was giving an order. As in someone would be waiting for the delivery people.

“I’ve made arrangements.”

“Good.” She picked up her purse. “Thank you for your time, Mr. Buchanan. I’ve spoken with the doctor. Your grandmother should be ready to come home in about a week. I’ll check in on her a few times before then so we can get acquainted.”

“It’s Reid,” he said. “Call me Reid.”

“All right. Anything else?”

He shook his head. She left and he was alone in Gloria’s large, empty house. Much as his grandmother had been.

“BUT I DON’T HAVE any homework,” Zoe said. “Why can’t we have homework like the big kids?”

Elissa laughed. “I want you to write that down, Zoe. Write down that you want homework and then give the paper to me.”

“Why?”

“So that a few years from now when you’re older and complaining about how much homework you have, I can pull it out and remind you this is exactly what you wanted.”

Zoe thought for a moment. “Okay.”

She ran off to get paper. Elissa grinned. What a fabulous kid. She’d sure gotten lucky with her.

Someone knocked on the front door. Elissa looked up and her heart quickened. Walker? She hadn’t seen him since Penny had her baby and she missed him. There was also the possibility of her confessing her feelings, which kept things interesting.

She crossed the living room and pulled open the door.

But it wasn’t Walker. Instead, Neil stood there. Or swayed there. He was unsteady on his feet and there was something about his eyes that chilled her.

“Neil, what are you doing here?” she asked as she glanced back over her shoulder and prayed Zoe would take her time getting the paper.

“You know why I’m here,” he told her. “I’m here for my money.”

“I gave you money,” she whispered, suddenly afraid. She tried to push the door closed, but he’d already stepped inside.

“Not enough,” he told her. “I know you made more that weekend. I want it. I want it all. If you don’t give it to me, I’m going to take the kid.”

“Never,” she said, standing her ground.

“You always say no,” he told her. “Then you give me the money anyway. It’s a little game we play. You like playing games with me.”

“You’re so wrong,” she said, disgusted and afraid at the same time. “Neil, you need to go to your place and come down from whatever you’re on.”

“I’m flying, baby, and flying is the best.”

“Get out before I call the police.”

He laughed. “I’ve done nothing wrong. That’s how good this is. You pay me to stay away. Nothing wrong with that.”

“You threatened me,” she said, remembering her baseball bat and inching toward the kitchen. If she could get the bat, she might be able to force him to leave. “I’m done paying you. You’re not going to threaten me anymore.”

She turned and lunged for the broom cupboard but before she could get there, Neil grabbed her by the arm and spun her toward him. Then he punched her hard in the face.

Pain exploded. She staggered, then collapsed against the couch and tasted blood.

“Mommy, Mommy!” Zoe flew to her side. “Go away! Don’t you hurt my mommy. Stop it. You’re a bad man and I’m telling Walker.”

Neil grinned, but there was no humor or joy behind the movement. He looked dark and evil and the fear inside of her exploded until it consumed her.

“Now look at you,” he said to Zoe. “Aren’t you a pretty little girl. Do you know who I am? Do you want to come play a game with me?”

CHAPTER TWENTY

WALKER CONCLUDED the meeting and returned to his office. He’d thought about discussing his new ideas for employee profit sharing, but then had decided to wait until everything was in place. He would make a general announcement at that time, then implement the plan as each employee came to his or her anniversary date. Restaurants worked better without a lot of staff turnaround.

He also wanted to do something special for the corporate staff. Although he’d managed to convince them there wouldn’t be executions at dawn, they still jumped every time he walked into a room. Gloria had sure as hell played out her quest for glory with a lot of innocent people. He was starting to think it would be better if she never came back.

He crossed to his desk and tossed down the folder, then considered what that meant. If Gloria didn’t come back, was he willing to take over the company? Was this how he wanted to spend the rest of his life? Working for the family business?

He didn’t have any answers and he wasn’t sure this was the—

The skin on the back of his neck prickled. While he hadn’t felt that since returning stateside, he was familiar with the sensation. It meant trouble. Bad trouble. More than once that uncomfortable feeling had saved his ass.

He turned slowly in the office, half expecting to find a sniper hiding under a table or lurking behind a desk. But there was no one. No guns, no grenades, no mines, no danger. Did that make the feeling more or less real?

He walked to the window and stared out at the city. The prickling increased and with it came a fear. Not for himself but for…

“Elissa,” he breathed.

He grabbed the phone and dialed her number. A quick glance at his watch told him she should be home from work now. He hadn’t seen her in a couple of days. Not since Penny had her baby, when Elissa had had to leave to go take care of Zoe.

He let the phone ring until the machine picked up and tried to tell himself she was fine. Only he didn’t believe it and suddenly he had to know for himself.

The drive was the longest forty minutes of his life. He wove in and out of traffic as he crossed the bridge. Going south on the 405, he blew past seventy and watched his speedometer hit eighty before he took his exit. He ignored two red lights and a stop sign, then parked directly behind an unfamiliar, beat-up red van.

He ran toward Elissa’s door and found it standing open.

“Elissa?” he yelled as he let himself inside.

There was a sound from the kitchen. A moan that made his blood freeze in his veins.

He burst into the room to find Elissa in a heap by the wall. His battle-trained gaze took in the scene in less than a second. The baseball bat by the back door. The blood on her face and the way she cradled her obviously broken arm against her body. Zoe crouched by her mother, a dark bruise already forming around Elissa’s right eye.

Walker felt more than saw the movement to his left. He sidestepped the first punch easily and used the second to grab his attacker’s arm. Rage filled him, but it was a calm, honed rage used against a thousand enemies. It gave him strength and direction.

He twisted the man’s arm behind his back, hit him in the stomach, then tripped him as he started to go down. The man turned and Walker saw the dilated pupils, smelled the stink of something gone bad.

“Neil, I presume,” he said, easily wrestling him to the ground and fighting the urge to snap his useless neck like a twig. “You should know better than to mess where you don’t belong.”

Elissa roused herself. “He’s got a knife.”

Walker quickly bent his wrist until he released it. “Not anymore.”

The drugged-out loser lay on the ground, mewling like a kitten. Walker thought about killing him. It would be so easy. A quick twist of his head and Elissa would never have any trouble with him again.

The need grew until one of his hands reached for Neil’s throat and tightened slightly.

“I told you Walker would save us,” Zoe whispered as she huddled next to her mother.

The quiet words spoken with such confidence were enough to release his rage. He’d arrived in time—that was going to be enough.

“Do you have any rope?” he asked.

Five minutes later Neil was hog-tied, the police were on their way along with an ambulance, and Walker had examined both Zoe and Elissa for other injuries. The little girl had been punched in the stomach and back, along with the blow to her face. Elissa had been kicked around. The break looked clean. Once he knew what the little shit had done, Walker wanted to kill him all over again.

“How did you know we were in trouble?” Elissa asked as he shifted her into a more comfortable position and wiped her face with a damp cloth. “I thought he was going to…”

Her voice trailed off as she glanced at her daughter, but he knew what she’d been about to say. She thought Neil was going to kill them both.

“I had a feeling,” he said. “I couldn’t get you on the phone, so I came home.”

“I heard the phone ring right after he arrived,” she said, her eyes dark with pain and tears. “I thought maybe it was you, but I couldn’t pick up and let you know. I don’t know what would have happened if you hadn’t come when you did.”

Zoe watched her mother anxiously. “Don’t cry, Mommy. Walker made us safe.” She glanced fearfully at a tied and moaning Neil. “The bad man is going to jail.”

He was going to make sure of that, Walker thought grimly. He didn’t care how much it cost, Neil was going away. But not before he cut Elissa loose, once and for all.

The next couple of hours passed quickly. The police and EMTs arrived at the same time. While Elissa and Zoe were looked over and prepared for transport to a local hospital, Walker explained everything to the police. The officer in charge took him aside.

“You could have killed him,” the officer said, glancing at a still-tied Neil.

“No, I couldn’t. He’s the kid’s father. I doubt she’ll want him in her life, but I didn’t want her to see him die. Not at my hand.”

“I know what you mean,” the other man said. “I’ve got kids myself. We’ll finish this up at the hospital.”

Walker explained everything to a stunned Mrs. Ford who had just arrived home from a bridge party, then followed the ambulance to the hospital. He found both his girls in the E.R.

“Hey,” he said, stepping into Elissa’s room.

She was white and fading fast. “Where’s Zoe?” she asked, barely able to form the words.

“Right next door.”

“Stay with her, please. I might have to have surgery. She’ll need you. The nurse is going to call my parents, but you’re the one she trusts right now.” She managed a smile. “Even when Neil had us both cornered and hit my arm with that damn baseball bat, she said you’d come rescue us.” Tears spilled out of her eyes. “She said you were the handsome prince, and that the prince always shows up in time.”

His gut twisted and he swore as he took her hand and kissed her fingers. “I’m no prince.”

“Tell that to my daughter.”

She was bruised and beaten, yet he saw the strength and courage in her eyes. “You would have been a hell of a soldier,” he said.

“This feels like war. Everything hurts. They want to check for internal injuries and X-ray the arm to see how bad the break is.”

“I’ll take care of everything,” he said. “Don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be with Zoe and handle Mrs. Ford and call your boss.”

“Work,” she breathed. “I forgot about work.”

“They’ll understand. Just rest. Have they given you something for the pain?”

But she didn’t answer. She had faded into unconsciousness.

He called for one of the nurses to come check on her, and was quickly pushed out of the room.

Even as he told himself she was going to be fine, he felt the stiff chill of panic. It was just a beating, he thought, refusing to give in to the need to burst back into the room and take over. It’s not as if he knew anything about making her better.

But he’d seen plenty of guys after fights and she was going to be fine, right? It wasn’t as if Neil had taken the baseball bat to any other part of her body, had he?

A familiar cry of his name sucked him into the next room, where he found Zoe in tears as a nurse put a bandage on the cut by her eye.

“She’s been really brave,” the young woman told him, “but she needs a little comforting.”

Without thinking, Walker moved to the side of the bed and held open his arms. Zoe dived into them and held on as if she would never let go.

“Where’s Mommy?” she asked.

“Getting looked at by the doctor,” the nurse said before he could answer. “They want to take pictures of her arm and then she’s going to get a cast.” The nurse smiled. “I’ll bet she’ll let you be the first one to sign it. Maybe you can even draw some pictures on it or put on stickers. Stickers make it look really nice.”

Zoe sniffed and raised her head, but she didn’t let go of him. “We have stickers at home.”

“Then we’ll use those,” Walker promised, hoping Elissa’s recovery was all going to be as simple as a cast.

The nurse patted Zoe’s back. “You need to stay here, honey, until the doctor releases you, but other than that, you’re good to go. The bast—” The nurse cleared her throat. “That man only hit her a couple of times. She’s okay.”

Thank God.

Walker didn’t know if he said the words or only thought them. Either way the relief was instant and powerful. He carried Zoe to the chair and settled her on his lap where he kissed the top of her head and held her securely in his arms.

“Was that man really my daddy?” Zoe asked quietly.

Walker swore under his breath. Not on my watch, he thought desperately. He couldn’t answer these kind of questions. Not now, not after what she’d just been through. He was the wrong person to help her deal with all this crap.

But there wasn’t anyone else, so he cleared his throat and prayed for divine guidance.

“It takes a man and a woman to make a baby,” he said, then wondered if he’d just dug the hole bigger. “But making a baby doesn’t mean a man is a daddy. Being a daddy is different. It’s a name a man has to earn. He has to prove himself by doing the right thing and being there and…” And what else, he thought desperately.

“And loving his little girl,” Zoe whispered as she began to cry.

“Right. He has to know her and because he knows her, he loves her. Because she’s a very special little girl.”

Zoe raised her head and stared into his soul. “So you’re my daddy.”

From the moment he’d found out Charlotte was dying and had realized he was going to walk out on her, he’d carried around a weight in his chest. It was as if that action had somehow locked his heart in a small box that was both heavy and painful.

Zoe’s innocent, trusting, scary-as-hell words had just opened the box—and for the first time in over a decade, it didn’t hurt to breathe.

“Yes, Zoe. I’m your daddy.”

ELISSA RESURFACED in a hospital room where a brisk, efficient nurse explained she would be kept overnight for observation.

“The doctor will be by later to discuss your injuries,” the woman said. “Basically you’ve got a broken arm and some internal bruising. Nothing’s seriously damaged, though. You got lucky.”

Lucky was an interesting word for what happened.

“My daughter,” Elissa said. “Where’s Zoe?”

“I met your little girl. She’s a sweetheart. That big handsome man of yours said to tell you he was taking her home to a Mrs. Ford and he would be back later tonight.”

Elissa closed her eyes and breathed a sigh of thanks. Zoe must be all right or she wouldn’t have been let out of the hospital. Thank God.

“You can have more pain medication now,” the nurse told her. “But as it seems to knock you on your butt, you might want to wait until you’ve seen everyone. Unless you don’t want to see them.”

Elissa still felt fuzzy. The details of Neil’s rampage were still completely clear in her mind, but she was less certain about what had happened after that.

“Everyone?” she asked, shifting, then wincing as waves of pain shot up her arm. She glanced down and stared at the cast covering her left arm from just below her wrist to above her elbow. “I slept through getting a cast?”

The nurse grinned. “Honey, you slept through more than that. Are you up to seeing the herd?”

She had a herd? “Sure.”

A few minutes after the nurse left, her parents entered, followed by Bobby. Her mother and father rushed to her side.

“Are you all right?” her mother asked. “I couldn’t believe it when Walker called us. Oh, baby, your face.”

Elissa touched her swollen lips and had a feeling she looked even worse than she felt. “I’m all right, Mom. Zoe and I survived, thanks to Walker’s help.”

“I wish he’d killed that bastard,” her father said, his gaze intense. “I’d like to do it myself.”

Elissa waited for her mother to scold her husband for being so aggressive, but she only stroked the uninjured parts of Elissa’s face.

Bobby stepped closer. “You’ve got a black eye. Cool.”

Elissa couldn’t help smiling. “Black-and-blue?”

Bobby squinted. “More purple-and-red.”

Her mother shushed him. “How’s your arm? It must hurt.”

It throbbed, but Elissa didn’t want to take any pain medication until the visit was over. Right now the fussing felt really good.

“Knock, knock.”

Elissa looked up and saw Dani Buchanan hovering in the doorway.

“Are we interrupting?” Dani asked.

Elissa smiled. “Of course not. Come on in.”

Dani entered, followed by Reid and Cal.

“Penny’s at home with the baby,” Dani said. “Otherwise she’d be here.”

Elissa was more surprised that they were here. “You didn’t have to come to the hospital.”

Reid smiled at her parents, then leaned in and kissed her unbruised cheek. “Sure we did. You’re Walker’s girl.”

Tears filled her eyes. She appreciated the sentiment, even if it wasn’t true. Walker’s girl. She liked the sound of that and she would have given a lot to make it happen.

Cal walked over and squeezed her hand. “You don’t look so bad.”

“Good to know.” She introduced the Buchanans to her parents.

After they’d chatted a few minutes, her mother excused herself. “I’m going to go pick up Zoe. Mrs. Ford called me earlier and said she was fine. Still, I want to see for myself.” She hesitated. “You don’t mind, do you? You’re going to be in the hospital overnight so I thought…” Her voice trailed off.

“I don’t mind,” Elissa told her. “I’m glad you’re going to take care of her. I know she’ll be safe with you.”

“Of course she will be. She’s your daughter, Elissa. I would give up my life for her.”

“Oh, Mom.”

Elissa felt tears on her cheeks. Suddenly she and her parents were hugging. She opened her eyes and saw Dani sniffing and both Cal and Reid clearing their throats.

“Where’s Walker?” she asked.

Reid shrugged. “He said he had a couple of things to do, but that he would be back. He said not to worry.”

She didn’t know what that meant, but she smiled and nodded as if she did. She didn’t want anyone to know how much she missed him and wished he was with her. He’d saved her and Zoe. That should be enough.

But it wasn’t.

WALKER WAITED until the police officer in the emergency room had stepped out to grab some coffee and then he moved into Neil’s room.

Neil lay on the bed, his eyes closed. Two IVs connected to a single line that fed into his arm. Walker moved next to the bed and bent down so his face was close to Neil’s ear. Then he placed one hand on Neil’s chest and the other over the man’s mouth.

“How you feeling?” he asked, pressing against Neil’s nose just enough to let him know that breathing was a privilege, not a right. “Coming down from that shit yet? Is your skin crawling or do you still feel good?”

Neil opened his eyes wide. Panic tightened his face and his breathing increased, but he was smart enough not to struggle.

“I’m going to make this real simple,” Walker said quietly. “We can do this the easy way or the hard way. Personally, I’m in favor of the hard way. Nod if you understand.”

Neil nodded.

“Is there any doubt in your mind that I could kill you if I wanted?”

Neil shook his head frantically.

“You want to live?”

Neil nodded.

“I’m going to send somebody in to see you. He’s a lawyer. A real expensive guy in a fancy suit who knows all about the law. He’s going to give you some papers to sign and you’re going to sign them. Do you understand?”

Neil nodded again.

“Good. Once the police release you, hopefully after some serious jail time, you’re going to leave Seattle and never come back. You’re going to leave Elissa and Zoe alone. You’ll never contact them again in any way. Is that clear?”

Neil nodded again.

“Just in case you think you can get out of our deal, I’ll remind you that prison is a scary place. You’re kinda skinny, Neil. Some big guy could make your life there real unpleasant. And I know plenty of big guys. You got that?”

Neil nodded so hard, he nearly banged his chin against his chest.

“I thought you’d see things my way,” Walker told him as he straightened, released Neil and left the room.

AFTER EVERYONE HAD GONE and Elissa got her pain medication, she drifted in and out of consciousness for a few hours. When she finally woke up, she saw a very dapper-looking man sitting beside her bed.

“Do I know you?” she asked groggily.

“We haven’t been formally introduced. I’m Jeremy Fitzwalter,” he said in a faintly British accent. “Walker Buchanan retained my firm to help you with your problem with Zoe’s father. I stopped by to give you some paperwork.”

He handed her a folder and smiled. “I think you’ll like what’s inside.”

She looked from him to the folder. She remembered talking to Walker about finding a better lawyer, but she hadn’t known he’d gone ahead with the plan. “I’m still a little out of it. Could you just tell me what it says?”

“Yes, of course. Under the circumstances, that makes the most sense.” He shrugged. “Zoe’s father has signed away all rights. He’s given up his rights of custody and visitation. In return, you will not seek him out for child support. He agrees not to contact you or Zoe, however if Zoe wishes to get in touch with him after she’s eighteen, that’s fine with him.”

Elissa rubbed her temple and wished her head didn’t feel quite so big. Her arm throbbed in time with her heartbeat and her stomach and chest felt as if they were one giant, pulsating bruise.

“Neil won’t be back,” she said, barely able to believe it. “You’re sure?”

“I’m positive. He has no hold over you anymore. He can never get custody of Zoe or even threaten to see her. He also asked me to tell you he apologizes for what happened. The drugs he took really messed him up.” Jeremy leaned closer. “You’re done with him, Ms. Towers. You’re free.”

Elissa wasn’t sure what to do with that information. She was still trying to figure out how it had all happened when her mother showed up with Zoe that evening.

“Mommy, Mommy, you have a cast!” Zoe ran over and touched the hardened plaster. “Does it hurt?”

“The cast doesn’t. My arm is a little sore. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want a hug.”

Her mother lifted Zoe onto the bed, where her five-year-old hugged her as if she would never let her go.

What a horrible experience for her daughter, Elissa thought. Would Zoe have nightmares from this? Should she take her to a counselor of some kind?

“How are you feeling?” she asked tentatively.

“Okay.” Zoe showed off a couple of her bruises. “But Mrs. Ford read me three stories and Grandma and me made cookies. We would have brought them, but Grandma says we should wait until you come home tomorrow. Only maybe we can stay with Grandma for a few days. Wouldn’t that be the best? I have princess sheets at Grandma’s house.”

“I remember,” Elissa said as she glanced at her mother.

Her mother shrugged. “You don’t have to come stay if you don’t want to. I just thought while you were adjusting…”

“It would be great, Mom,” Elissa assured her. “Really. Thank you. I didn’t know how I was going to cope with one arm in a cast and the pain and everything.”

“Good.”

Zoe shifted so she could lean against her mother’s unbroken arm. “Are you better, Mommy?”

“I will be. What about you? That man…” Elissa wasn’t sure what to say about Neil. “He won’t be back to bother us again.”

Zoe looked up at her. “It’s okay, Mommy. I know he’s not my daddy.”

Elissa held in a groan. How was she supposed to explain the complexities of her and Zoe’s relationship to Neil?

“Actually, honey,” she started, then stopped. There weren’t any words, she thought.

Zoe smiled at her. “That bad man isn’t my daddy because he doesn’t love me. Loving a little girl is what makes a daddy. Walker’s my daddy now.”

Elissa glanced at her mother, who raised her eyebrows. All yours, she mouthed.

If the pain hadn’t been so bad, Elissa might have found the situation funny. Instead she felt herself wanting to cry.

“Zoe, Walker is a really good man,” Elissa said. “He’s—”

“My daddy,” her daughter said firmly. “I know he is. He told me and daddies don’t lie.”

THE APARTMENT BUILDING was in the University district, typical for the area. The fall quarter would be starting in a few days and already students’ cars lined the street.

Walker parked behind a beat-up truck and set his alarm before walking to the third floor of the building and knocking on the door marked 16.

The second the woman opened the door, he knew she was the one. He’d nearly forgotten that night in Kabul when Ben had gotten drunk and talked about Ashley’s hair being the color of a sunset. But now, staring at the auburn-colored strands, he remembered.

“Ashley?” he asked, wanting to hope, but not there yet.

“Yes,” she said, drawing out the word. “Do I know you?”

“I’m a friend of Ben’s.” He held out the picture he always carried. “Did you know him?”

“Ben?” She smiled and took the picture. “Sure. Wow, I haven’t talked to him in a while. Almost, what, a year? Sorry, I’m a little brain-dead. I was in the library all night. I’m working on a final draft of my dissertation, which is a mess. But yeah, I know him.”

Walker felt his pulse increase. “You went out, right?”

Ashley’s smile widened. “A few times. He was great. A lot of fun. He went into the Marines. We wrote a few times, but then we kind of stopped.”

They’d stopped? Because…“You weren’t in love with him?”

“What?” She took a step back. “No. I mean I liked him, but nothing really happened between us. I don’t even remember if we kissed. Why are you asking me this? Has Ben been saying stuff about me?”

Walker felt the heaviness of defeat rest on his shoulders. He’d tried so damn hard, only to fail right at the end.

“Ben thought you were great,” he said quietly. “He told me you were one in a million.”

“Yeah. Where is he now?”

“He didn’t make it back. He died a few months ago.”

“I’m sorry,” she said sincerely, but without any pain. “You were a friend of his?”

Walker nodded. “I was looking for his family.”

“Oh, right. I don’t know anything about them. He never said anything. I’m sorry. I wish I could help.”

“You have helped,” he told her. “Thanks for your time.”

He turned and walked down the stairs. He was done. He’d found Ben’s Ashley and he’d still come away with nothing.

ELISSA HAD TO WAIT UNTIL almost nine to see Walker. He finally walked into her hospital room shortly before the end of visiting hours.

She’d just been given another shot for the pain, so the edges of her day were starting to blur. She’d talked to Zoe before her daughter had gone to bed, then had chatted with her mother. Leslie had promised several days of rest punctuated only by large amounts of her favorite foods.

Despite the broken arm and the bruises, Elissa felt cared for and safe for the first time in a long time. The only tiny cloud on the horizon had been Walker’s absence, and now he was here. He looked tired and mussed, but she could live with that.

“I’m sorry I’m late,” he said as he approached her and took her uninjured hand. “I had some things to do. How are you feeling?”

“Better.”

What to say to this man? How could she thank him for all he’d done for her?

“You saved our lives,” she told him. “Thank you doesn’t come close.”

“It’s enough.”

She thought about what he’d said to Zoe. Had her daughter misunderstood?

He released her, pulled a worn envelope from his pocket and turned it over in his hands. “I found her.”

With her brain fuzzy, it took her a second to figure out what he meant. “Ashley? You found Ben’s Ashley.”

He nodded.

The fact that he still had the letter made her chest tighten. “What happened?”

“I shouldn’t have been surprised,” he said, not looking at her. “Ben was great, but geeky and not really the kind of guy women go for. He would have grown out of it and found someone who appreciated him but…” He shrugged.

Elissa’s heart began to ache. “She wasn’t in love with him.”

“No.” He stared at the letter. “All I wanted was for his family to know how great he was. I just wanted there to be one person who had loved him, who would miss him and know the world was a better place for him having been in it.”

Walker’s pain filled the room and pressed in on her until she found it difficult to breathe. It wasn’t the sort of ache that could be helped by a shot or a pill and she didn’t have the words to release him from his burden. Unless…

She took the envelope from him and opened it. She scanned the typed contents, then began to read.

“I met Ben the first day he landed in Afghanistan. If ever a new recruit had been out of place, it was him. But in less than a week, Ben was the guy everybody knew and everybody liked. He had the soul of a poet, but the heart of a warrior. He was the bravest man I’ve ever met.”

She read on as Walker’s words detailed Ben’s service and sacrifice.

“I know this is a time of grief, but I hope you’ll eventually be able to see past that to the hero he was. I’ll never forget him. He will always be a part of me, just like he’s a part of you. He made me proud to be a soldier and a Marine. He made me proud to be an American.”

She wiped away her tears and folded the letter. “You can stop looking, Walker. Not because there isn’t anyone, but because you’re Ben’s family. You always have been. The person you’ve looking for…is you.”

He stared at her for a long time. Then he bent over and gently gathered her against him as he shook with emotion.

“I miss him,” he said, his voice gruff. “Every day.”

“Then he’s not really gone. He lives in you and through you. He lives in me and everyone else you tell about him.”

Walker heard her words and knew she spoke the truth about all of it. He was Ben’s family. In a way he’d always known that, but he resisted it because he’d wanted Ben to have more. Someone not so flawed and broken.

“I should have—”

She reached up and pressed her fingers to his mouth. “No. No should haves, no blaming, no guilt. He was your friend and you loved him. You will mourn him. No one can ask for more.”

For the first time in more than a decade, peace settled over him. He felt the loss of Ben, just as he felt the loss of Charlotte. He’d made mistakes, but he’d loved them both. And they’d loved him.

“We’re not perfect,” Elissa was saying. “No one is. We have to learn to accept our faults and move on.”

She was so damn serious, he thought as he bent down and kissed her. He liked that about her. Her serious side and her laughter. How she made jewelry and loved her daughter and took care of Mrs. Ford and stayed strong.

“I love you,” he said.

She stared at him. “What? I had a whole speech prepared.”

He smiled. “About what?”

“I can’t remember now. You love me?”

“Totally. And Zoe.”

“She said you were her daddy.”

“I am by every definition but biology.” He touched her cheek. “Although I should have talked to you first.”

She looked dazed. “No, this is fine. You really love me? This isn’t the painkiller talking?”

He kissed her, careful to be gentle against her bruises. “I love you, Elissa. I’ve been locked up tight for so long, I barely remember what it’s like to live, but I want to learn again. I want to be with you in every sense of the word. I don’t know if this is right for you or just scary. I don’t know anything except you’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met and that I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

She blinked several times. “You love me and you want to marry me?”

“Absolutely.”

“Okay.”

He looked at her. “Okay?”

She grinned. “Okay.”

“So you love me, too?”

She sighed. “You’re not too bad. Decent in bed, handy around the house. Sure, you’ll do.”

He growled. “I was hoping for more.”

She leaned back against the pillows and closed her eyes. “I knew you were special from the first moment I figured out you were too surly to be a serial killer.”

This had to be the drugs talking, he thought. “Excuse me?”

“Serial killers. Everyone always says how nice they are. You’re not especially nice. You have a temper, you can be distant. But I’ve seen how you look at Zoe and I know you’d take on the world to protect her.”

That was true. “And you.”

She sighed. “And me. You make my heart beat faster, just by walking into the room. You’re sweet and tender and funny and I wanted to die when I saw you kiss that bitch.”

“What—oh, Naomi. Elissa, it wasn’t like that.”

“Did you or did you not see her naked?”

He swallowed. “Did I mention I love you?”

“Uh-huh. Which is why I’m letting it go.”

“Do you want to marry me?” he asked.

She snuggled into her pillows and he knew she was fading fast. “Uh-huh.”

“Maybe have a few more kids together?”

She held up two fingers.

He guessed that was a yes and knew he would never know why he’d gotten so damn lucky. “I’ll let you get some sleep.”

“Don’t go,” she said, opening her eyes and looking at him. “Don’t ever go, Walker.”

So he settled on the narrow mattress next to her and she cuddled in close.

“I love you,” she whispered. “I have to go stay with my parents for a few days, but then we’ll be together. Okay? You won’t go anywhere?”

“Not without you. Not ever.”

“That sounds nice. Let’s always be in love,” she said.

“Of course.”

And they were.

ISBN: 978-1-5525-4829-5

SUSAN MALLERY BUNDLE

Copyright © 2006 by Susan Macias Redmond

All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the publisher, Harlequin Enterprises Limited, 225 Duncan Mill Road, Don Mills, Ontario M3B 3K9, Canada.

All characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all incidents are pure invention.

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