Oh No, the Aunts Are Here
Author: Adam Rex
Date: 2023-05-23 00:00:00+00:00
Keywords: Humorous Stories; Picture Books; Childrens; General; Fiction; Humor; Juvenile Fiction; Family
Description: Every family has its special aunt: the cool aunt, the wacky aunt, the scary aunt. But this family has ALL THE AUNTS. Shhh, listen. Do you hear that? Oh no. Oh dear. Oh . . . my . . . godmother. They've traveled on planes, in taxis, and across state lines. And now they're here at the doorstep, a cheesy gift in one hand, the other poised for a pinch on the cheek. IT'S THE AUNTS! THE AUNTS ARE HERE. One girl’s all-too-recognizable experience—a visit from a troupe of overwhelming and overly enthusiastic relations—escalates to new heights of chaos, absurdity, and delight in a laugh-out-loud take on
Publisher: Chronicle

To all the aunts I’ve loved before —A. R.

To my family away from family —L. C.

Do you hear that?

Something’s coming.

They’re getting closer.

They’re snapping shut their purses and stepping out of shuttles from the airport.

The aunts are here.

The aunts hug you and fix your hair and tell you how big you’ve gotten and fix your hair.

They give you a dollar

and a mint.

They give you a newspaper article about wolves and a very small packet of peanuts they saved you from the airplane.

They smell like coconut.

The aunts lick their thumbs and polish your cheeks. There was something there, they tell you. Something there, on your cheeks, but they got it. You don’t know what it was and you never will.

Oh, they’re here, they’re here, the aunts, they’re here.

The aunts are ready to

In the car now, packed in back.The aunts want to hear everything—

They were just telling their girlfriend how much you like horses. Goodness, you and your horses. Look, they brought you some horses.

You must love living so close to the Quilt Museum.

The aunts know you like this one.

Back in the car!

Take a second, and glance between aunts at a peek of the sun on the hill like a peck on a cheek.

The aunts will be sleeping in your room. You will be sleeping in a bag on the couch, but the aunts will be sleeping in your room.

You will see them there at night with their unmade faces and comfortable sleepwear.

Soft slippers, soft elbows; your room is going to smell like lotion now.

The aunts are in the shower.

The aunts are in the kitchen.

The aunts brought their own cereal.

They’re here, they’re here, on every floor; the aunts don’t lock the bathroom door.

There’s one more than there was before.

It’s a wolf.

A wolf’s come to eat you.

But the aunts aren’t fooled. They read an article about this. They form a ring and squirt the wolf with hand sanitizer.

It runs away, howling. It’s afraid of the aunts.

Inside the ring, you’re warm as a coconut. Warm and safe.

Well! That was exciting, wasn’t it?

Now the aunts are talking with their hands. They’re talking with their hands. They’re “talking, talking, talking, talking…”

Oh, now they’re all changing into amazing, beautiful birds.

Look! The aunts have changed into birds.

They’re flapping away. It is time for them to leave.

There they go.

It’s quiet now.

The aunts have left.

It’s quiet.

Whew.

I wonder what that new sound is.

Do you hear it?

It’s getting closer.

It’s probably nothing—

Text copyright © 2023 by Adam Rex.Illustrations copyright © 2023 by An-Li Cho.All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data available.

ISBN 978-1-7972-0794-0 (hc)ISBN 978-1-7972-0817-6 (epub2)ISBN 978-1-7972-1817-5 (epub3)ISBN 978-1-7972-1816-8 (kindle)

Design by Jennifer Tolo Pierce.Typeset in Sofia Pro Soft.The illustrations in this book were rendered in watercolor, gouache, and colored pencils.

Chronicle Books LLC680 Second StreetSan Francisco, California 94107

Chronicle Books—we see things differently.Become part of our community at www.chroniclekids.com.

ADAM REX loves his aunts, loves his wife— who is also an aunt—and loves his wife’s aunts. He’s the author and illustrator of many beloved books, including the New York Times bestseller Frankenstein Makes a Sandwich. He has illustrated the work of many authors, including Jon Scieszka, Mac Barnett, Jeff Kinney, Kate DiCamillo, Eoin Colfer, Christopher Paul Curtis, Paul Feig, and Neil Gaiman. He lives in Tucson, Arizona. See more about him at www.adamrex.com.

LIAN CHO grew up in New Zealand, far away from her eight aunts in Taiwan, where she was born. Now she lives in Brooklyn and is the illustrator of quite a few absurd books for kids, including The Oboe Goes Boom Boom Boom by Colleen AF Venable and It Began with Lemonade by Gideon Sterer. She hopes to one day learn how to quilt, but in the meantime, she enjoys baking copious amounts of banana bread, watching terrible movies, and creating small felt creatures. Learn more at www.liancho.com or keep up to date with her doodles on Instagram at @liantomato.

Table of Contents

- Dedication
- Title Page
- Begin Reading
- Copyright
- About the Authors