Taming a Rogue Earl
Author: Tammy Andresen
Date: 2017-08-01 07:00:00+00:00
Keywords: Romance
Description: Alternate Cover Edition can be found here Lord Lucius Loudoun is capable of success in only two endeavors... work and women. Bedding them, anyway. He's given up trying to accomplish anymore. So why is he even tempted by an innocent like Miss May Stanley? May has loved Loudoun since she was a child, but he looks straight through her, still treating her like she's a girl of thirteen instead of a woman of twenty. How will she ever convince him to give her a chance? As the two tangle, attraction ignites, but can that spark become a flame?

Table of Contents

- Dedication
- Prologue
- Chapter 1
- Chapter 2
- Chapter 3
- Chapter 4
- Chapter 5
- Untitled
- Chapter 6
- Chapter 7
- Chapter 8
- Chapter 9
- Chapter 10
- Chapter 11
- Chapter 12
- Chapter 13
- Chapter 14
- Chapter 15
- Chapter 16
- Epilogue
- Check out my new series!
- My Enemy My Earl
- Also by Tammy Andresen
- About the Author

TAMING A ROGUE EARL

TAMING THE HEART BOOK 6

TAMMY ANDRESEN

CONTENTS

Dedication

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Untitled

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Epilogue

Check out my new series!

My Enemy My Earl

Also by Tammy Andresen

About the Author

Copyright © 2017 by Tammy Andresen

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

Created with Vellum

DEDICATION

Thank you to all the readers who have made this series a success! I can’t thank you enough.

PROLOGUE

Atlantic Ocean, 1860

LORD LUCIUS LOUDOUN held his head between his knees and attempted not to vomit… again. At some point he must have actually died and gone to hell for the sins he’d committed in his life. There was no other explanation for how absolutely awful existing had become.

While only a month had passed, it seemed an eternity since Lady Flora Segrave had decided to marry someone else.

He hadn’t loved her. He never loved them. But she was a baroness with an excellent fortune and he was an earl in need of an infusion of coin.

The perfect match.

That is until some upstart entered the picture and swept her off her feet. And what had he done? As usual, he’d drunk himself into a stupor until it nearly killed him.

A tapping on his door interrupted his thoughts. A small voice called, “Are you all right in there?”

May. The thirteen-year-old girl was also traveling to America aboard The Destiny with His Grace, Barrett Maddox, the sixth Duke of Manchester. “Did I die, May?”

She giggled. “Don’t be silly.” She paused and he heard her shuffle her feet. “Though Dr. Thompson swears you will if you start drinking again.”

He let out a low groan. The first part of this journey he’d suffered from alcohol withdrawal but now it was seasickness that plagued him. He wouldn’t touch the drink, but part of him desperately wished for the oblivion it would provide. “I won’t start again, I promise,” he assured the girl.

“Oh good,” she chirped. “Would you like some tea and cakes? I brought you a tray.”

“Just leave it by the door.” He dipped his head lower.

“I brought a book to read you,” she offered.

“Fine,” he grumbled, glad for the company but not wanting to seem too eager. She was an unlikely friend, considering her age and the life he’d lived for the past ten years. He stumbled over to the door and unlatched it, and then stumbled back to the bed, too sick to see her into the room.

“Barrett will be glad to hear you’re still able to walk. He was also worried you were dead.” She set down the tray and poured him a cup of tea.

He nodded, holding the saucer and cup to appease her, but not drinking. “Thank you,” he murmured.

“I won’t read until you drink it.” She gave him an angelic smile but she had a stubborn streak of her own. One he admired.

With a huff of breath, he took a sip and found to his surprise that it quieted the rumble in his stomach. He took another, and then a third. “That is good,” he groaned.

“Have a cake.” She handed him a crumbly, sugar-topped, pan-cooked slice of deliciousness and to his amazement, it tasted delightful. For the first time in a month, the nausea was gone.

With a smile, she picked up the Jane Austen novel she’d been reading aloud to him and started the next chapter. He’d not admit that he liked the book either but he knew she knew.

His eyes drifted closed but he kept listening, the lull of her voice washing over him. A full stomach, good company…for once, in a very long time, he wasn’t completely miserable.

After a half hour had passed, she closed the book. “Barrett says we’ll be docking soon.” Her voice bubbled with excitement.

He’d been so focused on leaving England, he hadn’t even asked where in America they were going. “What city?”

“New York,” she giggled.

His eyes were still closed but he could feel her bouncing. “Excited?”

“I can’t wait to see it.” He felt her still beside him. “Can I tell you a secret?” she whispered.

He opened his eyes and looked over at her. Her chocolate brown eyes danced with merriment as her adorable little nose crinkled with excitement. Her brown curls bobbed as she resumed bouncing and he laughed, her joy filling him with a lightness he hadn’t felt in a long time. “You can tell me anything.”

“Someday I want to live in America.” She leaned forward conspiratorially. “England is too stuffy.”

Live in America? Leave England and the past behind? May was definitely on to something.

1

New York City, 1866

LOUDOUN SAT AT A GAMING TABLE, careful to keep his face schooled in a mask of unconcerned boredom. It was an act, of course.

His every muscle tensed in concentration, not that he needed to focus on the game. The other players were so far into their cups, winning was easy.

But even after six years without a drop of liquor, it still called to him. The sweet oblivion that came with imbibing was like a ghost haunting him. Always there but never to be touched.

Which was why he rarely gambled or attended parties. Instead he filled his days with mind-numbing work. Once a layabout earl whose greatest accomplishment was receiving the best invitations for parties, he now prided himself on being one of the hardest working men on the East Coast of the United States. After he’d proved he could remain sober, Barratt Maddox, Duke of Manchester, had put him in charge of the American branch of his shipping company.

It was a demanding job, but it suited him just fine. It left him very little time for anything else, and that was how he wanted it. No drinking, no gambling, and most importantly, no committed relationships. He’d never been good at any of those anyway, and so he focused on managing and expanding Barrett’s business.

A woman, tall, blond, and willowy sauntered by, her eyes devouring Loudoun. He preferred more curves, but she was a beauty to most and she suited his needs. Once done at the tables, he’d seek her out and most likely take her home. That was the only other skill he’d ever mastered. Getting beautiful women in his bed.

Of course, it didn’t take much effort with his looks. There was never a shortage of women willing to meet his appetite.

The next round of cards was dealt, and he lifted the corners, just barely high enough to see what he had. A pair of aces. This hand was already his. He longed to retire, head home to his New York mansion, and kick off his boots. Devour a willing woman.

But he was here for a reason. The local railroad was looking for a shipping company to exclusively do business with. Goods would be loaded from upstate and unloaded directly onto boats to be shipped to Europe.

He wanted that contract for Maddox Shipping. He wanted it for himself. It was a point of pride that he keep expanding, always expanding.

The initial round of betting done, it was time to tighten up his hand. William Wurts, owner of the Jefferson Railroad sat to his right, its chief engineer, Mason Lancaster, was to his left.

“Two,” his nonchalant tone called out as the dealer looked up to see how many cards he wanted replaced from his hand.

A third ace landed in his hand and now he knew he’d won this round. He raised the bet and sat back in his chair.

“Don’t know what’s happened to me tonight.” Wurts coughed and then puffed out his chest. “Did I tell you about the time I travelled out west and beat a table full of professional gamblers? Confederate soldiers, meaner than mean and aces at cards. But I won.” He hooked his thumb towards his breastbone.

Mason whispered quietly next to Loudoun. “Poor sods only wanted a job. And the boss doesn’t like to lose.”

Loudoun kept his face still but he now understood. Not only did he need to gamble with Wurts to secure the contract, but he needed to lose. Which was fine with him. His self-worth didn’t come from the gaming table, it came with the contract that only Wurts could provide.

“I fold,” he called out suddenly.

Wurts smiled, slapping Loudoun on the back. “Now let’s talk business.”

“I agree,” a deep voice growled behind him. He stilled for just a moment. He’d recognize that voice anywhere.

“Barrett,” he mumbled. His boss, the Duke of Manchester had made an unexpected visit to New York. What might this be about?

Barrett picked up Loudoun’s glass and gave it a sniff, then set it back down on the table, giving Loudoun a genuine smile. “Lucius. Glad to see you in such fine health.”

“William, Mason, may I introduce you to the owner of Maddox Shipping, His Grace, the Duke of Manchester.”

“Well, I’ll be.” Wurts grinned like an idiot. “I didn’t think I’d get to meet a real live duke.”

“That’s how important your business is to us.” Loudoun gave the man a grin. Now that he knew Wurts’s weak point was his pride, he’d exploit it without mercy.

“I’d like to introduce my niece,” Barrett began.

Loudoun lifted his eyebrows because Barrett’s only brother had children younger than Barrett’s. The oldest was perhaps eight. It seemed odd that he would have brought one of them to this party.

Barrett stepped to the side and turned to pull a delicate gloved hand forward. The rustle of silk was the only sound Loudoun could hear as he stood to properly greet Barrett’s guest.

A bland smile on his face, he extended his hand in greeting, expecting to see a child. But the pale pink skirts caught his notice first because they hung off the most delicious set of hips he’d seen in quite some time. Full and round, they were perfect for a man’s hands, especially the way they tapered into the tiniest waist he’d ever seen and then flared into a delightfully full bosom that near left him panting.

His eyes travelled up the delicate, creamy column of her neck to the full pale pinks lips, puckered into a soft, come hither smile. High cheekbones and a pert little nose met his gaze. Finally, he let his eyes wander to hers and he froze. A lump forming in his stomach.

Sparkling brown eyes, dancing with amusement, met his. Every thought of Wurts, railroads, ships, and dukes left his head. It couldn’t be her…

“Lucius, you remember Miss May Stanly. She was with us on your first passing.”

He gave a nod but the rest of him was still as a statue as he assessed the girl he’d once known. Girl. The term was almost laughable.

“Loudoun,” her sweet bright voice bounced along his senses, raising goose pimples along his flesh. Panic was setting in now and the desire to run, to be anywhere but here.

Dimly he was aware that introductions had continued without him. But his attention snapped into sharp focus when Mason stepped in front of him. “Miss May it is a real pleasure to meet you.”

Loudoun pushed Mason to the side and stepped closer to May. Mason, having imbibed several glasses of whisky, was not so subtly letting his eyes rove up and down her petite frame.

Wurts gave her a salacious grin. “I should introduce you to my son, William Junior. Though if you get to know him, you’ll learn we call him Willy.”

A most ridiculous name. A rumble was building low in his chest and working its way up his throat. For the first time in a long time, he couldn’t give a damn about that contract, or anything else. If that man laid a single finger on her he’d break it off.

He gave himself a shake, wondering what the bloody hell was wrong with him. He hadn’t seen May in over six years, and though she had helped him tremendously, it was odd he would be so protective.

“Mind if I play for a few minutes?” Barrett gave him a wicked grin.

With a nod, he pulled out his chair for the duke to join the next hand. “Be my guest.” He watched as Barrett glanced at his folded cards, then threw them into the pile. Barrett must know Loudoun had thrown the hand after seeing the aces.

He stepped back far enough to give the players privacy, Mason and Wurts having returned to their seats. A hand slid into the crook of his elbow. His teeth snapped together.

May was one of the few people who had seen him at his worst. Hell, she’d helped him put his life back together with her kindness. But it made him vulnerable in ways he hated. And her smell. It was floral with a hint of a deeper musk that was making it difficult to think clearly.

Whatever the reason, he’d be better off far away from her.

“How have you been?” She had moved even closer. Her whisper was almost conspiratorial.

“Fine,” he answered through clenched teeth, barely keeping himself still.

She paused and he could feel her gaze assessing him. He couldn’t bring himself to look into those eyes again. “You probably don’t remember me. I was the girl who--”

“I know who you are, May.” His tone was clipped.

Another pause. “I see.” She turned into him and sweet Jesus, her breast brushed his arm. It took every ounce of control not to jump away. “I thought you might not because you don’t seem particularly glad to see me again. I must confess, I don’t understand why. I thought we’d become friends, though it was long ago.”

And that was May. Exactly like he remembered her. Open, warm, caring, she was everything he had never been. Which was the exact reason he had to stay far away from her now. “We were never friends. Will never be friends.”

“Oh,” she answered so softly he almost didn’t hear her.

Her skirts rustled again and she stood on tiptoe, her entire glorious chest pressed against his arm, the flat of her stomach grazing his hip. Everything in him clenched. If he could have done so, he would have backed away, but it would have been terribly obvious and so he was trapped.

And then her breath was whispering across his ear. “You’ll grow to love me, I just know it.”

His head snapped towards her then, which might have been one of the biggest mistakes of his life. And he had a great many mistakes.

Because her face was only a few inches from his. Her skin glowed in the candlelight, her soft full lips set in a welcoming grin. His breath hissed out and he snapped his head back, putting some distance between them. “What the hell does that mean?”

The smile never wavered but her eyes held a touch of uncertainty now and he hated it. May should always look innocent and trusting, lovely and warm. He disliked even more that he had put that look there.

“We’re staying in New York for the season.”

“No.” He did take a half step away then. He needed some distance between him and May. An entire ocean would suffice.

2

He hated her. It was completely obvious. What May couldn’t figure out was why. They’d parted on good terms, granted she’d been thirteen and he’d been just this side of death. But she’d thought they’d shared a friendship. A blush crept into her cheeks. Deep down she’d always wanted it to be more.

He was even more handsome now, his chiseled features and piercing blue eyes so much sharper. More muscular and somehow that made him look even taller and broader than she’d remembered. And his lips were kissable perfection, that is when they weren’t twisted in a sneer. Like they were now, looking at her.

He took a few deep breaths and the muscles in his face seemed to relax into a more neutral expression. But his body was as far away as her hand tucked into his arm would allow. “Why are you staying in America? Surely, you would prefer a season in London to New York. It isn’t nearly as cultured here.”

His eyes were scanning her face, searching for answers, she was sure. Her eyebrows floated up as she masked her stinging pride with a quick answer. “You’ll have to ask Barrett. It’s not my decision.” In fact it was her decision, at least partially. Though her adopted family in England loved her, she didn’t belong, not really.

They were all members of the peerage, the elite. And she was just a girl who didn’t really belong. Not that her family made her feel that way. They treated her like a full-fledged member. But the rest of polite society looked down their noses at her. Snubbed her with their subtle actions and their verbal barbs.

So when Barrett decided to do an audit on the business she’d jumped at the chance to spend time in America. A place where no one was a native and everyone an outsider. Because of that, she had a chance to really be part of society. She’d meant what she’d said all those years ago. She wanted to live here. What she didn’t know was how to make that happen with her very protective adopted family.

When her parents had died in a carriage accident, her cousin Lizzie had taken her in. When Lizzie married an earl, Lizzie’s husband, Chris, had become her adopted father.

Barrett was Chris’s close friend and May’s uncle by choice. A fact that she was eternally grateful for. But between Chris, Barrett, and their friend Alex, she had the equivalent of three adopted fathers. And all three were in agreement, America was not an option.

And so she’d devised a plan to stay. While here, she’d find a husband. Barrett couldn’t object to her living in America if she were married to an American. She had a dowry in her own right, a rather large one as two dukes and an earl had contributed to the fund.

In this moment, however, she was suffering from one tiny hiccup in the plan. She’d always fancied Loudoun. He’d been her girlhood daydream. She’d expected to come and find that he’d married or he’d aged terribly or that her feelings had simply disappeared. But here he stood, tall, broad, handsome and… English.

“I could ask him, but he’s damn hard to get information out of and so I’d rather ask you.” Loudoun was now staring intently at the poker table, not meeting her eye. It gave her the opportunity to stare at his handsome profile. Just looking at him made an unfamiliar ache pulse deep inside.

This was not going even remotely to plan. She didn’t want a surly English earl. She wanted an American cowboy or railroad man. “Has it been that long since you’ve been to England? You’re not supposed to curse in front of ladies.”

“Strictly speaking, you are not a lady.” He quirked an eyebrow at her and she tried not to grimace. He’d touched her most sensitive nerve. She wasn’t a lady and every member of the peerage, even the ones living in America, had taken note of that fact. Another reason she should forget about her fantasy of Loudoun.

A willowy blond passed by, her eyes all over Loudoun. Despite having just told herself to forget him, jealousy prickled along May’s skin making her stand up straighter. The other woman’s eyes landed on May and her lip curled into a sneer.

It was instinctual. May slid closer to him, a small sign of possession. She was touching him again, his hard angles and strength making her go soft on the inside. She shouldn’t like it so much but it terribly satisfying to be this close to him.

She heard Loudoun’s intake of breath as he tensed away. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing.” Her eyes snapped to his, breaking the moment of bliss. “What are you doing?”

“I’m standing here minding my own business.” He looked at her then and his face tightened, lips pinched. His visceral reaction to the sight of her was the oddest behavior she’d ever encountered. It shouldn’t bother her, she didn’t want him but somehow his physical rejection hurt her more than most.

“I’m standing here minding my own business,” she repeated shrugging again.

His eyes were searching her face again. “You are still a child, after all.”

After all? Had he actually noticed she wasn’t? She almost denied the claim. But that would have sounded childish. So instead she pried her eyes from his and let her gaze sweep the smoke-filled room. “There is nothing to be said in such a ridiculous conversation. I’ve no choice but to stand next to you while Barrett plays and since you seem determined to convince me to return to Europe when I’ve spent a month crossing the ocean to get here, I really don’t know what else I might possibly say.” She looked at him again, a good long stare. “Other than I am not the one acting childish.” Another question was on the tip of her tongue. Why didn’t he like her?

She dropped her hand from the crook of his elbow. She didn’t even want him. Why did his rejection sting so much? He’d been a childhood fantasy, nothing more. Now she needed to focus on her adult dreams. An American husband who would allow her to stay in America forever.

Silly girl, she chided herself. Maybe he was right to call her childish after all.

“You’re right. I apologize.” He raked his hand through his hair.

Well that was something, she supposed. If they both lived here, they might see each other in the future. She’d like to be friends at least. Turning to him, she tilted her face up to his. “I’ve fond memories of that crossing. I thought you might as well. Perhaps not of the crossing, but of me.”

He didn’t look at her, his eyes were now trained at his feet, his expression dark, pained. “It was the most difficult time of my life.” His face spasmed. “Try to understand, May. Seeing you reminds me of that.”

“Oh,” she whispered again. Because that was awful. And potentially insurmountable. Looking at her reminded him of the worst experience he’d had. “Well it was one of the best for me.” She swallowed down the lump in her throat. She wouldn’t get emotional. “It was the first time I thought I might have made a difference in someone’s life.”

“You did.” He scrubbed his hand down his face. As though the entire conversation pained him.

It was suddenly hurting her too and this time, she stepped back. “It’s all right. You don’t have to say it.” She waved her hand as if she could brush away his words. Some relationships were best left in the past. Clearly her girlhood fantasies and his past trauma meant they could never be friends.

“May, I’m not--”

She held up her hand. “Don’t.” Tears were welling in her eyes. She’d experienced this sort of rejection from many within the peerage but somehow his cut so much deeper. Her heart ached, though she didn’t fully understand why.

Barrett approached them, having left the game. “We’ve another meeting with Jefferson Railroad tomorrow. We’ll lock it up then.”

“Excellent,” Loudoun nodded, schooling his features once again.

“I’ve sold my home in New York and May and I are staying at a hotel tonight. But it would be far easier for business purposes if we just stayed with you.” Barrett clapped him on the shoulder.

If May hadn’t been so upset, she would have laughed. Because it was so like Barrett to just invite himself to stay at someone’s home, completely disregarding social convention.

Loudoun’s jaw ticked. “Of course.”

Her eyes fluttered closed. She’d just realized they couldn’t even be friends and now she’d be stuck in a house with him.

This was a disaster.

THIS WAS A DISASTER. May under his roof with those curves, and her sweet chocolate brown eyes and her… he forced himself to stop thinking like that.

It didn’t matter how many endowments she had. They were ample. She’d always be a girl to him. A sweet, kind girl who deserved the absolute best from life.

Barrett began walking and May followed, her hips swaying suggestively as she went. His teeth clicked together again. How could he continue to think of her as a child when she walked like that?

The blond made a third pass, her shoulder brushing his as she went by. He barely glanced at her, his eyes fixed on May’s figure just ahead of him. His fingers itching to rest around her tiny waist, to pull her close.

He growled to himself. He had to stop thinking this way. It was never happening. She was too innocent and he was far too gone. There was so little good left in him.

They weaved their way through the crowd, several men also taking notice of May’s virtues. He put on his most menacing glare and stared down each one he saw looking at her. None of them were good enough either.

Finally making it to the entrance, Barrett turned to him. “We’ll be arriving first thing in the morning. Please feel free to continue with the festivities.”

Loudoun shrugged. “I tired of the festivities two hours ago.”

Barrett gave him a grin. “I understand. Do you have a carriage here?”

Loudoun gave a shake of his head. “I’ll hire a hack.”

“Nonsense, we’ll take you back.” Barrett stepped outside.

Loudoun made to argue but a carriage was already pulling up to the stairs to receive them. Ah, to be a duke.

As soon as a footman opened the door, Barrett handed May in then climbed in himself. Loudoun followed.

He entered the dark interior, and immediately realized the problem. May was seated on one bench, Barrett on the other. Two large men on one bench seemed ridiculous but sitting next to May was a terrible mistake. Crouched over as he was, he needed to decide. Not to mention, he looked ridiculous pausing in such a way. And so, he sat next to May.

For a moment, her scent wrapped around him again, making him ache. But then she scooted towards the window, putting as much space between them as the carriage would allow.

“Is the city as you remember?” Barrett asked May softly.

“It’s so much bigger,” she breathed, smiling again.

He could hear her excitement, enthusiasm for life. Some piece of him ached to have lost that same zest, if he’d ever had it.

“How can a city grow so quickly?” She turned to Barrett. “Is the entire country expanding like this? It’s so exciting.”

“Don’t get any ideas. We’ve already told you. You’re going back to England. Your future is there.” Barrett’s voice had taken on a fatherly sternness that helped Loudoun relax. While May was no longer a child, she was still an innocent. Certainly not a sultry temptress.

But she’d always been exceedingly bright, even at thirteen. “How long are we staying in New York?” Her voice was neutral, the excitement gone. But he saw her lean forward, clearly more interested in the answer than she was letting on. Did Barrett know she was up to something? He’d seen May plot before. This bore all the signs.

He heard Barrett shift and he too flexed his neck, twisting his head from side to side. The duke let out a hiss of breath and his arms crossed over his chest.

“May,” Barrett’s voice held a warning tone.

She turned to him then, ignoring Barrett and the conversation they’d just been having. “Did Barrett tell you? Piper just gave birth to their fourth child. Another boy. You should see him, he’s the sweetest little lamb.”

An image burst into his thoughts, which he quickly pushed out again. One of May holding a beautiful little baby, wearing that same glowing smile. He pushed himself back into the corner of the seat as though distance would make these images go away.

“Don’t think you’ll distract me by talking about Calvin. You are like one of my children and I won’t neglect your future.”

“Tell him, Loudoun, that I’m not a child anymore.” Even in the dim light he could see her leaning forward, the profile of her beautiful face.

His throat tightened, restricting his ability to answer. Because she wasn’t a child anymore but he desperately wanted her to be. As a woman she was too tempting by half.

“Don’t answer that, Loudoun. She has this ridiculous notion that she’ll stay in America. She even wants an American husband, though she has an offer from an earl waiting for her in England.” Barrett tossed his hands in the air. “Your home is with us.”

She wanted to stay in America? His hands clenched as a wild hope and something akin to dread raced through him. He wanted her here, he realized, completely surprised. But it would be absolute torture to see her married to someone else.

“My home is nowhere,” she answered softly, pain radiated from the words. Slumping back against the seat, she turned her face back to the window.

His throat tightened because those words resounded in his heart. It had been a long time since he’d had a real home, his adult life marked with loneliness. But that was how he wanted it, he told himself, and he swallowed hard to erase the feelings of loss.

“May,” Barrett’s voice was unlike he’d ever heard it before. Always it was filled with a sort of confidently bored calm that showed he cared about nothing. But now, in the dark of this carriage, he sounded as though his heart were breaking. “We love you.”

“I love you, too,” she responded, her voice sounding tired. “Forgive me. It’s been a trying… I’m simply tired from the journey.”

“Of course,” Barrett answered.

Loudoun knew that May was no child and Barrett was watching his adopted daughter slip away.

3

The next morning dawned bright and sunny. May stretched in her room, her melancholy from the evening before gone. That’s how it often was for her.

She didn’t know why she’d gotten so down last night. What did it matter if Lucius Loudoun didn’t like her? She didn’t want him either. Though a tiny voice protested that he did matter, a great deal, but she pushed it away.

A maid bustled in with a breakfast tray and May ate, wondering how she should proceed with her plan. Husbands didn’t just arrive at ones door. They had to be found.

She dressed carefully, picking a day gown that complimented her figure. The pale blue accentuated her skin and eye tones while the fit showed her tiny waist to its best advantage. As her hair was dressed, she considered her options.

She hadn’t planned on still being attracted to Loudoun. She’d thought she’d buried that childhood crush. But it didn’t change the plan. She’d find an American husband. Perhaps Loudoun could even be helpful. He had the necessary connections.

Barrett wished for her to accept an offer from the Earl of Rutland. Her nose curled. He was pompous and arrogant and though he wanted her dowry, she could tell, he was less enamored with the rest of her. Especially her lack of title.

Wurts had mentioned a son. A man with a railroad company could help her see much of the country, go on adventures, be accepted into New York society.

But if that didn’t work out, she needed to secure more invitations so that she could meet other men. Women too. By making friends, she’d meet others and help secure a future here. Excitement bubbled inside her.

“May?” Barrett knocked on the adjoining door.

“I’m almost ready,” she called, trying to sound poised and calm despite the butterflies dancing in her stomach.

Their trunks loaded they set off for Loudoun’s home. She’d barely been able to make out its outline in the dark but she already knew it was an impressive structure on Fifth Avenue. Would he be there when they arrived? Would he be happier to see her today?

The carriage pulled into the half circle drive and large front doors swung open. It was a grand home with impressive and stately detail.

She didn’t have to wait long for answers to either of her questions. As she peeked out the window, he strode out of the house looking strong and dashing.

The carriage came to a halt and Barrett climbed out, offering May his hand. As she too stepped out of the buggy, Loudoun’s face pinched again.

Her own shoulders straightened as her spine stiffened.

“Barrett,” Loudoun nodded to the other man. “May,” his voice barely a mumble.

She tried not to roll her eyes. What had stung last night was suddenly irritating. She’d done nothing other than try to help this man. Indifference she could have understood, but this active dislike?

“Loudoun,” she returned in the same voice he’d used.

He gestured for them to enter and she took Barrett’s arm as she made her way up the stairs.

They hadn’t been in the entryway more than a moment when Loudoun spoke. “I’ve work to do. You’re welcome to join me, Barrett. May, make yourself at home.” And then he was gone.

With a sigh, May followed the butler to her room to unpack.

BY LUNCHTIME she’d unpacked her things, walked in the garden, and explored the library. She’d found an excellent selection of Jane Austen novels, but she hadn’t come to America to read.

Crossing back across the foyer, she planned to return to the garden and find a spot to open a book for today. She’d have to secure some invitations in order to make friends. Outings would fill the days and nights and connections would help her build a future.

Just as she entered the foyer, the bell at the front door rang. The butler immediately entered to answer it and she decided to greet whoever was at the door. At least it involved conversation.

Almost immediately, she regretted her decision. Because Mr. Wurts and Mr. Lancaster walked through the doorway, their eyes immediately bouncing all over her again.

She’d expected them to be more subtle without alcohol but as Wurts stepped forward, he took her hand in a way that made her shiver with distaste. “Lovely to see you again, my dear,” he leered.

“You as well,” she nodded making to pull away. But as she stepped back, she ran into a solid form. Her head jerked to see who was behind her and her gaze collided with Loudoun’s.

A steadying hand came to her back, shivers racing up and down her spine at the touch. The hand remained in place but he came to stand beside her, a physical barrier between her and the other two men. “Nice to see you both,” he smiled but there was no warmth to it as he assessed the other men. His hand flexed against her back, drawing her even closer.

“It’s always a pleasure, Loudoun, but I have to admit, it’s especially sweet to see the darling Miss Stanly.” His eyes were roving all over her again. Loudoun’s hip came into contact with her side as he pulled her closer still. Any thought of Wurts was gone as her body tightened in the strangest places.

“Miss Stanly was just leaving,” Loudoun said, his teeth obviously clenched together.

“Such a shame,” Mr. Lancaster announced, his gaze equally busy.

“Miss Stanly,” Wurts gave her a toothy grin and she schooled her features to keep her distaste from showing. “I’m having a dinner party tomorrow night. Nothing too large but my son will be there with several of his friends.” He leaned in to whisper with a wink. “Some of New York’s finest society.”

Loudoun’s hand had come around from her back to wrap around her waist and he actually pulled her back from Wurts, tucking her slightly behind his own body.

“Thank you,” she murmured. Normally, she’d give a slight curtsy but it was impossible with Loudoun pressed so close. But still, excitement bubbled inside of her. This was a chance to put her plan in motion. Wurts junior was a perfect suitor.

“My office is right down the hall, gentlemen, His Grace is waiting. Sullivan will show you the way.” Loudoun still sounded as though his teeth were clenched when he spoke.

With a nod the men were gone but Loudoun’s grip did not loosen. His eyes followed the retreating men’s backs. “You’re not going to that party.”

“Yes, I am,” she answered as she debated whether or not to step away. Her brain would work more properly but her body would miss the feel of his heat and strength against her.

He pulled her closer then, which she hadn’t thought was possible, but suddenly the flat of her stomach was pressed against his front. “He’s a letch. You shouldn’t be anywhere near him.”

She left her stomach where it was. There was something so comforting and exciting about being pressed against him this way. But she leaned her head back to look up at him, her hands coming to his chest. “I need to make connections in America. This is the best way. You’ll keep me safe, I’m sure.”

That’s when she felt it. His growing manhood pressed against her belly. Tingling started deep inside her, spreading through her body. His face held a look of horror as he stared down at her. “I’ll keep you safe?” he repeated sounding stunned.

She didn’t mean for them to, but her hands started sliding up his chest, exploring the hard muscles underneath, as they made their way around his neck. She searched her brain to remember what they were discussing. “You’ll be finishing the railroad deal, and will be in attendance, will you not?”

She could see his lips moving closer, his eyelids drooping. “I’ll go but not because of the railroad deal. I’d never let anything happen to you.”

All thoughts of suitors and her carefully crafted plan vacated her thoughts as excitement, she couldn’t quite tamp down, sizzled through her. She gave him a wide grin. “You do care about me.” She knew she shouldn’t be doing this, he wasn’t what she wanted. But in this moment, she just wanted to feel him once. Maybe it would even cure her of her feelings for him.

He startled under her hands and made to remove himself from her embrace but her fingers locked around his neck. She only had a moment and then he’d muscle his way out of her grasp and so she stood on tiptoe and pressed her lips to his. It was bold and terribly stupid but she did it anyway.

Bright spots flashed behind her eyelids as their lips touched together. And though he didn’t move towards her, he stopped struggling. His hands came to her backside and lifted her up and closer pressing them together in a way that made her gasp with need.

He was kissing her over and over until he slanted her lips open and his tongue began exploring in her mouth. Two other gentlemen had kissed her, taken her unawares, but never had it been anything like this. The connection, at least physically, was undeniable. She melted into the hard angles of his body, not caring that he wasn’t what she wanted. For the moment, he was everything.

Her fingers twined into his hair and as she used her tongue the way he’d used his, the two tangling together in a way that made her breathless. She groaned into his mouth, desire making her press closer still.

He stilled at the sound and in the next moment he was gone, retreating towards the hall. “That shouldn’t have happened,” he rasped out.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.” She searched his face looking for answers because she was so confused. She shouldn’t want him. He was older, cold, obviously didn’t like her. Most of all, he was English. And though he’d made his home in America that could change in a moment. Barrett could force Loudoun to return if he wanted. But some of those reasons melted away in the warmth of his embrace. “I just wanted to know what you felt like. Just once.”

“May, you’re just a--”

“Don’t’ say it,” she interrupted him not wanting to hear him call her a child again. How could he even think that after what they’d just done.

“You’re innocent.” He was still moving further away. “In all the best ways. And I am ruined in all the worst.”

And then he was gone.

4

He pushed the heels of his hands into his eyes, trying to erase the memory. She’d been so beautiful and close, pliant in his arms and delicious to taste.

And while May’s kisses had been hesitant at first, she’d grown bold in his arms, making her damn near impossible to resist. Bloody bullocks, she’d only been in his house a matter of hours.

Smoothing his hair he entered the meeting with Wurts to find the man extending the dinner invitation to Barrett.

“I’m sure May would enjoy that. Will there be other young ladies as well? She could use some companions in New York to keep her occupied while we stay.”

“I’ll see to it.” Wurts nodded. “In fact my niece can be a companion of sorts. At least for shopping and what not. I’ll send her over this afternoon. Sarah is a lovely girl.”

Loudoun gritted his teeth, attempting not to roll his eyes. He tried to remember a time that other men weren’t falling all over themselves to accommodate the Duke of Manchester. It was his own doing that no one referred to him as an earl and they’d long forgotten his title. And honestly, with rare exception, he didn’t miss it.

His father had died many years ago. He returned to England every few years to see that his properties were in good working order. While he retained the title still, he never used it here in America.

His mother had passed less than a year prior. He’d returned to settle her affairs and dutifully pay his respects. With no siblings, he no longer had a family. He had mourned, but not in the way everyone would expect. He mourned what never was, a loving family to protect and guide him.

“Excellent.” Barrett nodded, already shifting his focus to the papers on the desk. “The three of us will be there.”

This time Loudoun’s eyes did, in fact, move skyward. Both May and Barrett just assumed he’d attend. Which of course he would, but how did they know that?

The reason for his attendance should have been work, but it wasn’t. Sparkling brown eyes danced in his thoughts.

No no no, he chanted. He didn’t do relationships. Flora had taught him he just wasn’t capable. But even before when he had contemplated marriage, he’d known that feelings would never be part of his decision.

When he had considered marriage to Flora, it had been to refill the coffers, not out of some soft hearted feelings. Even without love, he’d managed to ruin that relationship.

Despite how terribly he’d behaved, Flora had forgiven him. She’d helped him. He owed it to her to right now and the only way to never hurt another woman was to never attempt another relationship.

He didn’t know how to give, or to respectfully take. His parents hated each other and the only time they cared about him was when they wanted to get back at the other.

He’d thrived on it at first. Those times they actually paid attention to him. But he’d come to realize it was cheap. So he’d held himself apart from them. Deliberately partaken in any behavior they deemed unfit. And somewhere along the way, found the sweet oblivion of alcohol, a welcome diversion from life.

No one had ever really loved him and it was unlikely to change.

So why was May tempting him at all? She was too young, too sweet, and too dewy-eyed to ever consider the type of liaison he’d want. What was more, he was allowing the line between attraction and feelings to blur. He shouldn’t care so much about Wurts’s eyes on her and he certainly shouldn’t be putting her above his business.

She was barely a woman. Well her curves said she was all woman… but to the point, she was young and innocent and working her way, after only a day, into parts of him he thought had been gone forever.

And that absolutely couldn’t happen. He’d have to find a way to deter her. That should be easy enough. It came naturally to him.

“Lucius,” Barrett called, waving him over to the desk.

Pushing any thoughts of a certain young lady out of his mind, he crossed the room to do what he always did. Work.

MAY, on the other hand, sat in garden daydreaming again. She told herself it was foolish fancy. But the feel of Loudoun’s lips had set her to flame. It was better than any of her imaginings. While he looked to dislike her, he kissed as though he liked her a great deal.

Tossing her book aside, she strolled along the paths again. She had to stop thinking this way. What she needed was a distraction.

Perhaps Loudoun had a driver who could escort her and a companion on a shopping trip. Not that she needed anything, but exploring New York would be a great deal of fun and she’d wear out the stone paths in his garden if she kept pacing like this.

She waited another hour, hoping that the meeting was finished, and then she headed to Loudoun’s office.

The two were standing at the desk, their heads bent over various stacks of documents and ledgers. They were of equal height, which was unusual. Barrett usually towered over everyone in a room. Loudoun’s broad shoulders flexed as he pointed at various columns.

She stood for a moment just drinking in the sight of him, her lips tingling as she thought of their kiss. “What is it, May?” he asked before either man had looked up. His voice flat, unreadable.

“I am hoping to explore a little. Could I use your driver? He’d know the streets far better than--”

Barrett scowled at her and made to answer but Loudoun beat him, cutting her off.

“I don’t think that would be a very good idea.” Loudoun still hadn’t looked up from his ledgers.

She made a noise of indignation. “I can assure you that in London--”

But he interrupted her once again. “New York is growing rapidly and there is a great deal of tension between various immigrant populations. You shouldn’t be out without a proper male escort.” His eyes finally looked up to hers but they were impassive. There was no hint of affection or emotion of any kind, just a blank mask.

“I agree with Loudoun. I’ll take you shopping.” Barrett’s gaze had returned to his documents so he didn’t see her eyes narrowing. They were treating like a child again.

“Barrett, the likelihood of you stepping away from work to take me on an outing is slim at best.” Her hands came to her hips. “I simply want to see some of the city and visit a few shops in the middle of the day.”

“Out of the question,” Loudoun answered.

“Absolutely not,” Barrett agreed.

She took two more steps into the room. “You’re both being ridiculous.”

“You just don’t understand the danger here.” Loudoun stepped around the desk to give her a menacing glare. “You’re nothing more than a sheltered child.”

What was wrong with him? A few hours ago he’d been holding her in his arms. Any tenderness was now gone, replaced with condescending annoyance. Why had she ever thought it a good idea to kiss him? “I understand plenty.” She stepped closer, her voice dropping and her eyes casting over to Barrett. It was a veiled threat. Her voice was a whisper, given so only Loudoun could hear. “I know lots about marriage and what might motivate a duke to require an earl to take a bride.”

He blinked a few times, surprise flashing over his features for a moment before he returned to anger. “You wouldn’t?” His lips thinned.

If she were a more cutthroat person, she’d announce that he hadn’t thought her childish when he’d kissed her. Not only would it prove him wrong, but the focus would shift from her to Loudoun.

Tempting as it was, part of her knew that she could never act that way. Not only would he despise her, she wouldn’t much care for herself. What was it about him that made her act in ways she would never normally behave? And Barrett would likely insist they marry and then decree they move back to England.

But that didn’t mean she couldn’t use the threat of it… just a little. “How strange you now think I’m childish.” She paused, allowing those words to sink in. “I was sure earlier you considered me to be--”

His eyes went wide with fear and she wanted to crow at the victory. Because he deserved it. “What did Loudoun consider you to be?” Barrett asked.

She put on her sweetest smile. She could swear that beads of sweat were forming on his brow. “Quite knowledgeable. He asked for my opinion on Wurts.”

“Good thinking, Loudoun. May is an excellent judge of character.” Barrett was still looking down at the papers and so he missed Loudoun going limp with relief. Then he gave her an angry glare, which she ignored.

“I’d like to ask you one more time if I might borrow your driver and carriage for a brief outing. I’m sure you have someone able to keep me safe.” Despite the kiss, Loudoun still considered her childish. It shouldn’t sting, his opinion wasn’t supposed to matter. But somehow it did. Taking a breath, she put on her most confident smile.

He assessed her silently for several moments. The flaring of his nostrils the only indication he was agitated. After several seconds, he asked. “Do you play chess?”

“Oh yes,” she replied. “I love a good game of strategy.” She crossed her arms over her chest because he was avoiding answering.

“I’ll find a driver who will take you to a few shops within this neighborhood only.” He glanced back. “If Barrett approves.”

“I trust your judgement, if you think she’ll be safe.” Barrett partially looked up and May was nearly shocked to see he was grinning. The man never grinned. Not unless he was holding a baby. Or Piper, his wife.

Loudoun gave a curt nod and strode over to the bell cord by the door. Giving it a sharp tug, he continued to glare at her as she smiled in return. Barrett turned away to shuffle through some papers on the chest behind him. Loudoun stepped up to her, hissing out a whisper. “You can only use the threat of telling Barrett about that kiss so many times before I figure out how to work around it.”

She shrugged, looking him straight in the eye. Her chin was tilted back rather far in order to accomplish that task. “I wish you luck with that.”

His eyes narrowed. “I’d forgotten how troublesome you could be. Never taking no for an answer.”

One shoulder lifted in a shrug. “Admit it’s because I am usually right.”

“Not this time,” he gritted out. “This is about your safety.”

“Perhaps you can go with her Loudoun.” Barrett was shifting papers. “We’ve mostly hashed out the details of the contract. I’ve the books to go over but you needn’t be here. And Wurts’s niece could act accompany you as a lady’s companion. He’s left me the address, we’ll send the carriage to fetch her.”

Loudoun gave an exasperated grunt. “I’ve other work--”

“Nonsense.” Barrett waved his hand. “See that she gets a new dress for tomorrow’s dinner.”

It was May’s turn to huff. “I don’t need a--”

But Barrett waved her off too. “You might enjoy American fashion while you’re here.” And then Barrett sat down, effectively dismissing them both.

5

May attempted to stare without being caught. Loudoun looked furious as he sat on the bench across from her and her companion, Wurts’s niece, Sarah. His scowl did little to diminish his good looks.

She bit her lips, remembering, for the hundredth time, the feel of his lips on hers. She wanted to feel them again but she knew it was unlikely to happen any time soon. All of his defenses were in place.

She ignored the little voice that told her this was a terrible idea. The one that insisted she stick with her plan and focus on a nice, American husband. At this moment, it sounded rather dull.

Not that she was giving up. She wasn’t. But it wouldn’t hurt her chances of finding a husband if she had the tiniest bit of experience would it?

Kissing Loudoun again, well that was interesting indeed. Fortunately for her, she had a plan. He seemed his most vulnerable when in the company of other men, particularly men who were eyeing her. She’d simply use that to her advantage tomorrow evening at Mr. Wurts’s dinner party. With any luck, they’d share a kiss in the garden or perhaps the library. Barrett was correct, a new dress was a lovely idea.

The carriage rumbled to a stop and surprise made her blink. She’d said she wished to see New York but she’d forgotten to look out the window the entire trip to the dressmaker.

Loudoun climbed out of the carriage and handed the ladies down, seeing them into the shop. A dressmaker approached. “May I help you?”

May stepped forward, expecting Loudoun to turn and leave now that he’d safely delivered her. “Miss Stanly is looking for a gown for dinner tomorrow evening.”

She turned to look at him, tossing him a glare. He’d always been a bit heavy handed and today was no exception.

But the dressmaker only smiled. “Anything in particular you had in mind?”

“A pale blue, silk.” Loudoun turned to a chair to sit.

Inwardly, May huffed, but outwardly she remained smiling. “And pale pinks, please.”

“No, just the blues,” Loudoun was leaning his head back against the wall, closing his eyes.

“My lord, you’ve forgotten your place.” May turned to tell him that Barrett was her guardian, not him. He was only picking dresses to hurry her along and most likely, to irritate her.

“My lord?” The dressmaker repeated and May knew she’d made a tactical error. The woman gave a curtsy and then, hands shaking slightly in excitement, said, “Let me just get a second attendant.”

Loudoun gave a small chuckle and Sarah eyed him blushing, giggling too. A petite blonde, she was pretty and quiet. Though May had barely spoken to her, she’d like to get to know her as a potential friend.

“Why are we laughing?” Sarah asked looking from one to the other.

Loudoun spoke first. “Because May just lost her decision making abilities.”

She gave a delicate sniff. “And Lord Loudoun just lost several hours of his day.” She didn’t grin but judging by his scowl, he knew she was correct. Now that the ladies perceived him as a man with a large purse, they’d have endless dresses for her to try on.

She approached him, her hips having an added sway with the victory. His eyes darkened as they roved over her. She bent down close to his ear, to whisper delicately. “And since you are not buying these dresses, you should not be offering an opinion.”

There was a swish of a curtain as the dressmaker returned with two attendants in tow carrying dresses. Before they could even display them, Loudoun pointed to a pale blue gown the color of the ocean on a sunny day. “That one.”

“Excellent choice,” the woman gushed as she grasped May’s hand to pull her into the dressing room.

Sarah followed behind them, pointing to gowns she’d like to try on. If Loudoun thought he could strong arm her into hurrying this trip along, he was sorely mistaken.

Fifteen minutes later, May assessed her image.

Loudoun had chosen quickly to make this trip as brief as possible. She knew it was true, he didn’t want to be here and so he was pushing things along.

Even done in haste, Loudoun’s choice was excellent. It exposed a good deal of cleavage and highlighted her narrow waist. The color seemed to accentuate the rich brown of her hair and add a sparkle to her eye.

“Shall we show your gentleman?” the dressmaker asked.

May hesitated. He wasn’t her gentleman. Though some part of her warmed at the idea. His hands on her, his lips kissing her again. Their skin….

Gads, she had to stop this. And showing him the dress wouldn’t help. He’d see the dress tomorrow and showing him now would give him the opportunity to gloat. Then again, she may as well get it over with.

With a nod, she started toward the front room and the dressmaker followed behind her.

Loudoun still sat with his eyes closed. She stopped, expecting him to look up but he remained still. Clearing her throat to get his attention, she waited a few more seconds. He didn’t open his eyes. “I’m sure it will be fine.”

The dressmaker coughed delicately and May felt a blush climbing in her cheeks. First he was ordering her about and now he was ignoring her. Why did she even like this man?

Turning on her heel, she announced, “We’ll take it. Can you have it altered by tomorrow evening? Bring some day dresses, and several more evening gowns for me to try on.”

He was next to her before she’d even made it another step, his hand coming to her arm. “One dress,” he rasped.

She stood straighter and he gave a sharp intake of breath, his eyes riveted to her cleavage. Her eyebrows rising, she addressed the dressmaker. “Bring in the dresses, please. I’ll be right there.” Once they were alone, she poked him in the chest. “I forgot how absolutely annoying you are.”

His hand came to her waist, “I am trying to forget how beautiful you are.”

“Why?” she asked.

“I’ve already told you. I’m not right for you. You’re too young and too--”

“Stop saying that.” She gave him a glare. “And if you are trying to forget, as you say, why pick this dress? Or any dress for that matter.”

“I keep forgetting how…” he paused. “Well-endowed you are. And I thought if we were going to this dreadful dinner we may as well seal the contract.”

Understanding dawned in her eyes. There was nothing between them, it shouldn’t feel like a betrayal. But it did. “By displaying my cleavage for Wurts to see? I’ll admit to thinking Wurts junior might have potential as a suitor but I would never so bold as to put myself on display in such a way.”

“He is not a potential suitor. Trust me on this. And as far as the dress is concerned, I liked the color, May. I didn’t know it would,” he paused to swallow. “Look like that. And Barrett would not approve of you saying such things.”

“Pish,” she waved her hand. “Didn’t you say last night I wasn’t a lady?” Another way that Loudoun had cut her. Why could he so easily skirt past her defenses?

“The definition is different in America.” He shrugged. “There isn’t a man in New York who wouldn’t want you for a wife.”

“I’m fairly certain I know at least one.” She turned away then, motioning to the dressmaker that she was ready to try on other dresses. “

“We’re not staying all afternoon, May,” he called from behind her.

“I respectfully disagree,” she tossed over her shoulder as she returned to the dressing room. She likely shouldn’t be so antagonistic but he was irritating her with his coldness and heavy-handedness. She wasn’t one to back down from a challenge.

Sighing to herself, she was forced to admit that, she cared altogether too much about what he thought. It was clouding her judgement and she was acting like a fool, sparring with him in a dress shop.

Perhaps she’d try on a few more dresses and call it a compromise. The dressmaker carefully unbuttoned the new gown and then, once the bodice was removed, she stepped out of it. In her corset and petticoats she turned to assess some of the day dresses the attendants had pulled out for her. Loudoun appeared in the doorway.

She gasped and for a split second made to cover herself but then thought better of it and her hands landed on her hips instead. “What are you doing?”

“Respectfully telling you that it is time to leave,” he gritted out, sounding angry but his eyes were ravaging every detail of her body.

“Fine,” she gave him a sweet smile and returned to the dressmaker. “I also need a gown in white. Similar cut and fabric to the one I just tried on.” She tossed him another smile over her shoulder. “Both bills will go to the Fifth Avenue address. The first to Lord Barrett Maddox, the second to Lord Lucius Loudoun.”

If he was going to be a beast, then so would she. Loudoun was making her act rashly, wildly even and she couldn’t understand why. It was a dangerous game and threatened both their futures, but she didn’t stop.

“What are you doing?” his face was set in hard lines, a vein ticking in his neck. “Did you just order a wedding gown? You can’t be that serious about Willy Wurts. You haven’t even met him.”

This had gotten dangerous, threatened both their futures but she pressed on. She stepped up to him, her own fury evident. Seeing her in this state of undress, he had ruined her. If anyone found out, they would be forced to marry. “It isn’t for Willy Wurts. You are the one who barged into my dressing room in front of the dress maker. What are you doing?”

Turning on his heel, he left the dressing room without another word.

SHE WAS ready to leave the dressmaker’s shop within the quarter hour and the ride back to his house was a silent one. She was sure because Sarah was present. The girl had been gracious enough about leaving despite being in the middle of trying on several gowns.

This time May remembered to look out the window but she still didn’t enjoy the scenery. She was both furious and nervous about the maneuver she’d just made.

It was a short trip back to his house and as they entered the foyer, only the butler greeted them, Barrett was nowhere to be seen.

Loudoun turned to Sara, giving her a charming smile. “Thank you for accompanying us. Will we see you tomorrow evening?”

“Oh, I’d like that,” Sarah cooed.

“It was a pleasure to meet you, Miss Wurts.” May gave her a friendly smile, despite the jealousy prickling along her skin.

“You too,” Sarah barely glanced at her, her gaze fixed on Loudoun. The butler opened the door as Sarah’s carriage arrived in the driveway to return her home.

Loudoun then turned to the butler. “Would you go down to the kitchen and tell Cook that I’d like dinner a half hour earlier this evening?”

“Of course, my lord.” The butler bowed and then disappeared, leaving the two of them alone.

Butterflies flitted through her stomach because she knew Loudoun wanted to discuss what had happened and she hadn’t decided what her next move would be. She’d ordered a wedding gown, in front of him, for goodness sake and then had him charged for it.

It was not a conversation she wanted to face and so May turned too, thinking to make a quick escape to the office but fingers firmly grasped her upper arm. “Wait just a minute,” Loudoun gave a low command.

“Remove your hand,” she returned. As his fingers let go, she turned to face him. “How dare you?”

“According to you, I’m about to be your husband, which gives me every right.”

A little harrumph escaped her lips even as a niggle of pleasure warmed her cheeks. The actual thought of Loudoun as her husband was far more pleasant than she’d allowed herself to consider. “Even if that is what I intend, and you’d deserve it for what you did in that shop, you’re too domineering by half.”

“It’s the way I am. The way I’ve always been.” One of his hands ran through his hair. “I’d make a terrible husband. You’ve been warned.”

“You are what you choose to be.” She stepped closer, her face inches from his. “Don’t think I don’t know you’re applying yourself to scaring me off. What I don’t know is why you think you need to. I have every intention of finding an American husband. I don’t want an English lord.”

“Then why kiss me? Don’t forget, I know you too, May. You’re too stubborn for your own good. A girl like you should stay far away from me.”

“A girl like me? What type of girl is that? Childish? Immature?”

UNTITLED

“Beautiful and kind.” He raked his hands though his hair. “Don’t try to make a future with me, May. I’m not lovable. I’ll never be what any woman needs.”

Surprise, pleasure, and longing made it hard to breath. But even more than that, sadness that he thought that about himself, had her words rushing out. “You’re wrong on almost every front. If I wanted you for myself, I’d simply march in and tell Barrett what you did. We’d be married in a fortnight.”

She took another step closer, her hand on his chest. “I don’t know what happened to you to make you think you’re unlovable. But I know you better than almost anyone else. I’ve seen you at your worst, and I know there is a good and kind heart in their capable of love and being loved. You just don’t want to give it a chance.” She stepped back then, her own heart hurting for him, and surprisingly, for herself. Because if he chose to love her, she had a feeling, she wouldn’t be able to resist loving him in return.

If he said he would marry her, yes might fall from her lips before she could stop it. Because, while her mind wanted an American man to sweep her away from England, her heart seemed to want Lucius Loudoun. Her heart was a fool.

6

He stared at her, trying to process her words. May had sniffed him out. Though he had to admit, the more she smiled and calmly ignored him, the more irritated he’d gotten till he’d made the completely idiotic move of storming into the dressing room.

If she told Barrett, he was as good as wed. Which was unbelievable because he’d spent most of his adult life avoiding the marriage noose. With the exception of Flora. It had been a blessing that it hadn’t worked out. Not only had they irritated each other, but the end of their relationship had sparked his sobriety. Something he was grateful for.

The only reason he’d even considered marriage was money. Now that he had more than he could possibly spend, thanks to his American holdings, now he was going to be trapped into the institution.

Which was why it was ridiculous. What was happening to him? Closing his eyes, he remembered the incident in the dress shop. He didn’t normally make rash moves. He carefully conducted his business in a way that was profitable and put him in a strategic position to meet his goals.

And he’d started like that at the dress salon. But May had deftly outmaneuvered him till he’d lost his temper entirely. She made him so…. He’d meant to say angry but instead he had the impression that what she really did was make him emotional. Worming her way past the tough shell he’d constructed around himself. Which was damn annoying.

“May, I don’t know what you’re planning with that dress but I am too old for you.” He needed to change tactics. Appeal to her directly.

“I already told you, I don’t want you. But that is a ridiculous argument. Twelve years? We are not the same age to be certain, but men far older than you have married women my age.” She shrugged, looking away from him then.

“Tell me now what you’re planning.” His voice rough with anger and fear. His chest tight. She’d seen him strung out and near death six years before. She’d helped stand him back on his feet. He cared about her even if he hadn’t exactly been nice to her during this visit. Now she was talking nonsense about marrying an American like Willy Wurts? He wouldn’t allow her to make such a mistake.

“I’m not planning anything. Least ways, not with you. I want to stay here in America and that requires an American husband.” She took a deep breath.

“You can’t marry a man like that. Find someone you love. Who loves you. At the very least, find a man who understands you value. You’re smart, attractive and kind.”

“Perhaps I should have you help me find a husband since you seem to know so well what I need. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were trying to convince me you actually were the man for the part.” Her eyes snapped with anger and hurt.

“I told you, I’m too broken to be a good husband.” He reached out his hand and held her cheek to make sure she kept her eyes on him. He knew these next words would hurt her but he needed her to hear them. If he was going to do this, there was no room for misunderstanding now. “And even if I considered marriage, it wouldn’t be to you.”

He wasn’t trying to hurt her. The truth was, he cared about her and in ways he felt for no other. And so he did need to keep her safe from him. He’d lied to Flora, agreed to a plot where she was kidnapped just to scare her back into their engagement. He’s manipulated her exactly as his parents had always manipulated him.

Her eyes flashed with hurt and saw the tears forming there. Part of him desperately wanted to take it back but he’d hurt her more later, he was sure of it. It was better to do this now.

“When I was twelve, my mother bought me a stallion. She said it was a gift because I was becoming a man and should ride like one. It was the happiest day of my life. It had already been broken and so I had it saddled and began trotting it around the training ring. He was a beautiful dappled grey, a majestic beast that I instantly loved.” He removed his hands from her face, anger rose like bile in his chest and he didn’t want to touch her as he shared it, for fear he might inadvertently hurt her.

“My father came outside and began screaming. I didn’t know it then but his brother had died on a stallion of the same color. My mother had known, of course. I can still remember her smile of triumph as my father pulled me from the beast and smacked me on both sides of my face, screaming that I was cruel, ungrateful, useless son.” He shuddered, his head dropping. “My father had the horse killed that very day.”

“Oh, Loudoun,” he heard May’s voice catch. He had never shared these memories with any one. He only did so now so that she would understand.

“I don’t know how to love, May. I was only a pawn to my parents in their war against each other. And I would only do the same to you. You need to know that.”

“That can’t be true. Everyone has goodness in them. You just have to find--”

He shook his head, holding her cheeks in his hands again. “It’s too great a risk. What if I am exactly like them? I couldn’t do that to you.”

Her whisper was so low, he barely heard her as she said, “Send the dress back when it comes.” Then she stood on tiptoe and kissed his cheek. “You’re not like them. I know you aren’t.” Stepping away, she retreated up the stairs and disappeared down the second story hall.

Loudoun watched her go, his gut churning. Winning had never felt so awful.

THREE HOURS LATER, he felt no better as he sat in his office. It was a damn good thing he had no liquor in the house. All kinds of crazy ideas were flitting through his mind.

A knock at the door pulled him from his thoughts. “Yes,” he barked. He was in no mood for company.

The butler stepped in. “Dinner is served.”

“It’s early.” He waved his hand in dismissal, wanting to be alone.

“At your request, my lord.” The butler’s eyebrows rose.

Blast it all to hell, he had requested that but only to speak with May alone. He rose and stepped through the door heading towards the dining room. He should have been in the parlor, entertaining his guests long before now but he hadn’t wanted to face May.

Stepping into the dining room, May and Barrett both stood behind their chairs, waiting for him to be seated. He gave a nod to Barrett and then greeted May while trying not to look at her as his chair was pulled out and everyone sat.

The first course was served and as he took a sip of soup, he saw it. Barrett was being poured wine. Deep, rich, and red, his eyes fixated on it as his mouth went dry. He couldn’t remember the last time it had tempted him so and, try as he might, he couldn’t look away.

“How was the shopping trip?” He heard Barrett’s rumble distantly. He couldn’t seem to break the trance the wine had created.

“Successful,” May answered, and the sound of her voice tugged distantly but not enough to take his eyes from the liquid. “Wouldn’t you say, Loudoun?”

“Mmmm,” he answered, with effort. Barrett picked up the glass and brought it to his lips.

“Loudoun,” May said a little louder. “Are you all right?”

He blinked twice and finally pried his eyes away from the crystal goblet. “Fine,” he murmured, his eyes locking with hers.

His vision seemed to clear as he drank in the details of her concerned face. That nearly broke him. He’d been terrible to her this afternoon and yet she was still worried for him.

“May is right, you don’t seem yourself.” Barrett’s gruff voice called down the table. Loudoun looked back to the duke to find him taking another sip of his wine.

“I’m actually not feeling that well. Would you mind finishing dinner without me?” He stood to leave.

As he passed through the dining room door, he turned to his butler. “See the wine is gone after the meal.”

“Yes, my lord,” the butler murmured.

Walking as quickly as he could, he sought the refuge of his study. His hands shook, and he clenched them together to make it stop. It hadn’t happened in years. He was losing control.

His eyes searched around the room, looking for a drink, though he knew there was nothing there. Pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes, he fought for control.

The click of the door behind him made him snap his head up. But he didn’t really need to look to know that May was there. “Are you all right?” her soft voice fell over him like a warm blanket.

He should tell her to get out, spending time with her was throwing his world off kilter. But she looked and sounded so damn good. “The wine. I haven’t had it in the house for years…” He nearly said more. That he drank in the face of turmoil. That she was making him crave it. That for both their sakes, she should leave him be. He was no good for her and she was certainly terrible for him.

Her forehead creased in lines of worry as she reached for his hand and pulled him close. He allowed her to wrap her arms around him and press their bodies together. “I’ll tell Barrett not to do it again. I’m sure he just forgot.”

His arms unfolded and reached around her back, bringing them even closer together as he dropped his cheek to the top of her head, her silky tresses tickling his skin. “Why are you comforting me? I said terrible things to you.”

“Loudoun, when people care about you, they don’t run away after a few mean words.” She gave him a tiny squeeze. “Whatever path we each take in the future, I will always care about you.”

Any desire for alcohol was now gone, replaced with…. A need for her. Touch her, taste her, worship every inch of her body and then hold her close. Wrap her in warmth till she fell asleep in his arms. “No one has ever loved me like that. I don’t know what to do with it.”

“That is awful,” she whispered. “My family loved me and I was lucky to have them. As an orphan, my life could have been so much worse. For that reason I can’t fully understand what you’ve been through, but I often feel like I don’t belong.”

“What do you mean you don’t belong?” He lifted his head then, his eyes piercing down as his hand came to tilt her chin up to look at him. May should never hurt, she deserved the very best the world had to offer.

“I never felt at home in England. Barrett, Alex, Chris… they’re all titled and they’ve given me a wonderful dowry but I’m still not one of them. They think to marry me into the peerage but I hear the whispers of the ton. Buying my way into the aristocracy. I don’t belong but after growing up among them, I don’t fit with the common man either.”

“That’s ridiculous.” Loudoun cupped her cheek. “You’re--”

But she cut him off. “You said it yourself, I’m not a lady.”

Wanting to kick himself, he kissed her forehead. “I was wrong.” He shouldn’t kiss her like this, hold her, but she hadn’t run away after his confession and she needed comfort now. He sensed this was an important revelation to why she was here in America.

“No, you were right. When I start a family of my own, I’ll finally have a place I belong. Where I am meant to be.” She gave him a smile. “And you could have a place you belonged too, if you’d let someone in to love you.”

He grimaced. Part of him was so tempted by her words but he’d seen this before. Like Flora and his parents, she’d eventually realize he wasn’t worth her love. Then they’d be stuck together, she with a husband not worthy of her affection. He was used to the pain but her life would be ruined. “No, I already told you. I’m not lovable. May, you should go before you get hurt.”

“I’m not afraid of you, Loudoun,” she whispered. Her hand came to his chest and she stepped closer.

Bloody hell, he wanted to kiss her. So tempting and so close, he could just lean down and take her lips. Think about the consequences another time. Instead he backed away. “You should be.”

7

May didn’t see Loudoun all the next day, which she was intermittently disappointed by and grateful for. She’d revealed pieces of herself she had shared with no one else, like the fact that she’d never fit in with the peerage of England despite Barrett’s best attempts. Or that she wanted a family of her own so that she could belong somewhere.

He too, had revealed a great deal. She couldn’t be certain, but she’d guess that he didn’t tell many people he was unlovable.

But what he didn’t seem to understand was that he was different. The very fact he was so worried about her said that he was capable of love.

She could no longer deny that the feelings between them were real but the truth was, he was right that they shouldn’t marry. If he ever decide to return to England he’d need a lady. And she had no intention of going back. Only staying in America would free her from the condemnation of the ton. Find her a place in this world when she belonged.

Butterflies flitted in her stomach making her queasy as she readied for the dinner with the Wurts family. Not that she cared about them, well hopefully she would, but right now she was concerned about facing Loudoun. She’d have to pretend she didn’t feel any of the emotion flitting through her.

She should be thinking about Willy Wurts and how best to woo him. She’d spent months dreaming of the man who make her dreams come true. Now, here she was, and the only man that dominated her thoughts, was English.

At least the dress he’d picked had arrived. She had her hair carefully styled in curls loosely pulled back to highlight their softness. She placed a sapphire, a gift from her cousin-in-law, Chris, around her neck. As the clock struck seven, she made her way down the stairs.

Loudoun and Barrett stood in the entry waiting, both set of eyes trained on her as she descended.

“You look lovely.” Barrett’s growl indicated that he did not approve, despite his words.

She gave him an innocent smile, despite knowing that he meant the opposite. “American fashion suits me, does it not?”

“Indeed,” Barrett turned to Loudoun. “Did you have a hand in this?”

Loudoun opened his mouth then closed it again, his eyes still dancing over her curves. “The color suited her,” was all he managed to say.

“You’ll never take her shopping again,” Barrett mumbled, shooting a glare at the other man.

Loudoun finally peeled his eyes away from her to look at Barrett. “Thank the Lord for that.” He shook his head as he offered her his arm.

“I’m holding you responsible for her safety this evening.” Barrett’s voice was still rough with disapproval.

Loudoun gave a nod as they headed through the front door to the waiting carriage.

The rest of the ride was silent as Barrett continued to glare and Loudoun tried to keep his gaze trained out the window. As the carriage pulled into the Wurts’s half circle drive, May noticed there were a fair number of carriages before them. Proof it wasn’t a small affair. Loudoun noticed too. He mumbled, low enough so only she could hear. “I should have picked a gown with a high neck.” His eyes wandered to her ample cleavage as he grimaced.

She tried not to blush as she smoothed her skirts. His grimace was somehow more of a compliment then many flowery words she had received.

As they waited to be introduced, Barrett and Loudoun stood on each side of her like guards, but it didn’t stop several men from giving her long glances. At one point she felt Loudoun’s fingers brush discreetly across the small of her back as he moved even closer.

William Wurts quickly approached them when they entered, followed by a younger version of himself. Thick-necked and already balding, the younger Wurts was well muscled but also heavyset. While some women might consider him attractive, she preferred the long lean muscle of a man like… well like Loudoun, actually.

“Lovely to see all of you,” Wurts boomed as he opened his arms wide in greeting. “And you, in particular, Miss Stanly.”

Once again the older man’s eyes seemed to devour her in a way that made her wish Loudoun had picked a dress with a high neck. “You as well.” She gave him the brightest smile she could muster.

“This is my son, William Jr.” Wurts clapped his son on the back. “Miss May Stanly.”

“A pleasure to meet you. Call me Willy.” He reached out to clasp her hand.

It took everything May had to not pull her fingers back. He was handsome enough, she supposed. But something about him was wrong. It was his look, his manner. She found it off-putting.

An English gentleman would never be so forward and she found it disconcerting. She heard a low growl next to her and for a second, she thought it was Barrett but then she realized Loudoun was making the noise, eyeing Willy with open hostility.

His hand touched her back again, just a subtle brush, but it filled her with a longing to press against him, bury her face in his strong shoulder.

But she couldn’t and instead she followed behind the Wurts men as they introduced her, Barrett, and Loudoun to various members of New York society.

May tried to enjoy herself, but as the evening went on her desire to return to Loudoun’s home grew stronger. It took all her will not to reach out and touch him, throw herself into his strong embrace. She should be making connections. If Willy Wurts wasn’t the man for her, she would need to secure more invitation to meet another. But she wanted to jump into Loudoun’s arms without thought to the consequence.

As the meal went on, she watched him across the table. Though he had been poured wine, it remained untouched though she could see his gaze lingering on it. Not that any of the women around him noticed. They vied for his attention even as Willy demanded hers. Jealousy tingled in her limbs making her want to get up from her seat and steal him away. It would be for his own good, then he wouldn’t have to be tempted by the glass in front of him.

Her head began to pound and she had to get some air. Somehow realign her priorities. Excusing herself, she stepped out into the hall and headed toward the back of the house to see if there was an open window. But she hadn’t made it far when a hand touched her waist.

For a second she thought it might be Loudoun but as she spun around, Willy Wurts blocked her path back down the hall. “It’s a marvelous idea.” He gave her a wicked smile that made her hair stand on edge.

“What is?” she licked her lips, slightly nervous but his grin only widened.

“Us… alone.” He stepped close, his hand still at her waist the other coming to her shoulder.

She tried to back away. “Mr. Wurts, you misunderstand. I simply needed a minute. My head--”

“Of course you did.” He was drawing her closer and she began to struggle harder.

“No really, this is not appropriate,” she gasped as she tried to turn, reverse direction, something to keep his lips from reaching hers but they were descending down, steadily moving closer.

“May,” he rasped out. Another gaff of social convention that had her questioning her plan to marry an American. “We belong together. I feel it already.”

This was what she had wanted. He was already declaring his affection. She closed her eyes, scrunching up her face in dread. It wouldn’t be so bad, she tried to tell herself. He was exactly the type of man she was looking for. A well-heeled American who would marry her, not caring she didn’t possess a title. But, where Loudoun made her eager for kisses, the thought of Willy’s lips only made her cringe.

But they didn’t reach hers. She peeked one eye open to see Loudoun with his face almost between her and Willy’s. “Get your bloody hands off her.” And then he rather forcefully pushed William away.

He didn’t wait for a response. Grabbing her hand, he pulled her back toward the dining room. Just outside the door, he pulled her into his arms and gave her a fierce kiss before letting go again. “Now go sit. As soon as dinner is done, we’re leaving.”

It was several minutes before he followed her in and several more before Willy returned. Within the hour, Barret announced that they needed to return home.

Part of her was relieved while the other was disappointed. Willy Wurts was exactly what she thought she wanted and nothing like she had pictured. He was bold, brash, informal and a blunt instrument. He would give her a life in America but she would never care for him.

But as she climbed in the carriage, and Loudoun sat next to her, she couldn’t muster too much sadness. She turned her head toward him, breathing in his scent and wishing she could touch him.

LOUDOUN COULD HEAR the soft sound of her breathing as they sat in the carriage. May had been unusually quiet all evening and it worried him in ways he’d never thought possible. He wanted to pull her against his chest and hold her close, stroke her hair. He told himself he was concerned for her because he’d known her when she was young but he knew that had little to do with it. He wanted her to be happy, to see her easy smile and hear her bubbling laughter.

And he never wanted to see another man touch her. Especially not a Wurts. If that slimy upstart laid a finger on her again, he’d knock the man’s teeth out.

The carriage pulled into his drive and he realized not one person had spoken the entire ride home. Barrett exited first and then he stepped out, reaching back to help May.

“Careful,” Barrett spoke low in his ear. “She isn’t the woman for you.”

He turned to glare at his boss and friend. Two people had picked him up out of the dirt when he’d been at his lowest, Barrett and May. He was keeping away from her because he owed her that. The chance for a happy future. Perhaps Barrett deserved to know that, considering all the other man had done for him. But then again, those words sounded like a challenge and Loudoun rarely backed away from one.

Besides, in this instance, he only needed to talk with her. Explain why Wurts was such a poor choice. He’d keep his hands to himself this time.

Barrett shouldered him out of the way to offer May his elbow and then began walking her into the house. May glanced back at him and he mouthed, “Meet me in the study later.”

She gave the tiniest nod and then turned to face forward.

They entered the foyer and with a nod to each of them, she said, “Goodnight,” then started up the stairs.

“I’d like to speak with you.” Barrett was still watching her walk up the steps.

“Of course,” he replied, also watching May. The sway of her hips made it near impossible to look away but he wouldn’t have glanced at Barrett even if they hadn’t held his attention. Barrett Maddox intimidated a lot of men, but he wasn’t one of them.

As May rounded the corner, Barrett, without another word, headed for Loudoun’s study.

He held back a noise of irritation as he followed the duke. Barrett, having made himself at home, settled behind Loudoun’s desk and glared at him across the room.

“You can’t eye me like that in my own study. You’ll have to take me aboard your ship,” Loudoun joked, hoping to ease the tension between them.

Barrett didn’t even crack a smile. “I love her like a daughter.” He launched in and Loudoun held back a wince. “I’m aware she’s grown into a beautiful woman but she’s still innocent and--”

“You think I don’t know that?” Loudoun stepped closer. “You and May are the only people on two continents that actually care about me. I would never hurt her. I keep telling her to stay away from me.”

“Then what the hell is with that dress?” Barrett’s fingers splayed out on the desk as he eyed Loudoun with a glower.

“I had no idea it would look like… that.” He shrugged, it was mostly true.

“And shoving our perspective business partner this evening?” Barrett leaned closer.

“How did you know about that?” Loudoun kept a poker face.

“He told his father who promptly threatened to pull the deal. Not that I will be manipulated by Wurts. But I would also appreciate you not giving them cause to back out.”

Loudoun did wince then. Because he hadn’t given a single thought to business all evening. What the hell was going on with him? “He touched her.”

Barrett sat forward then, looking dangerous. “Inappropriately?”

He kept his face a mask but inside he felt his first flutter of nerves. Most of the inappropriate acts had come from himself and not William Wurts Jr. “He was trying. That man isn’t even close to good enough for her. I’ll do the same if he lays a finger on her again.”

Barrett sat back in his chair, looking satisfied. Then he leaned forward again, his elbows resting on the desk in front of him. “If I hear of any indecency on your part, you’ll marry her before I let a breath of scandal touch her. Do you understand me?”

Loudoun leaned forward as well. “I understand. But you’d be making a mistake.”

“Why is that?” Barrett asked.

He turned his face away then. “I’m not good enough for her either.”

“I disagree,” Barrett replied.

“Ten minutes ago you said she wasn’t for me.” Loudoun’s eyes snapped back to the duke.

“I’ve changed my mind. You’re titled. Wealthy. And most importantly, you seem to understand her worth.” Barrett nodded, agreeing with his own point.

A lump formed in his throat. While some part of him felt a niggle of hope at Barrett’s words, he knew the truth. “I’m too broken to make her happy.”

“We’re all broken. We’re men made of stern stuff. It’s them that heals us. I’ve given this speech before and I’ve been right every time.” Barrett stood then. “Goodnight, Lucius.”

Loudoun sat there for several minutes, pondering those words. He knew it was ridiculous. He’d never convince someone to love him and keep loving him. But he couldn’t stay away from her either. She called to him the way scotch once had. He knew it was dangerous to be alone with her. She would only get hurt and then he’d have to see May’s disappointment when she realized he was too ugly to love. Not only would it hurt her, it would crush him well and good.

8

May had been listening at her door for the last hour but the house was completely silent. Screwing up her courage, she tiptoed down the hall to the stairs. If she saw anyone, she’d simply say she was heading to the library.

But she passed through the shadowy halls unnoticed and as she approached Loudoun’s study, she could see light flickering through the crack of the barely open door. Not wanting to make a sound, she pushed it open and slipped in.

Loudoun stood with his head in his hands, a bottle of liquor in front of him.

“Loudoun,” she whispered, fear tinging her words, making them breathy.

He picked up his head and she gasped. He looked like hell, but his eyes were clear. “I didn’t touch it, May.”

“That’s good,” she answered slipping across the room. Not knowing what else to do, she nudged him aside and stood between him and the desk, blocking the bottle with her body.

Quick as a snake, he reached out and grabbed her waist pulling her close till his arms were wrapped around her. Laying his cheek on her stomach, his muffled voice vibrated against her skin. “I told myself I wouldn’t touch you but I’m falling apart.”

Her hands came into his hair, gently massaging his scalp. “I don’t mind and you’re not falling apart. Not yet, you’re still holding it together. I’ll help you, if you let me.”

His answer was to press her even closer. “I don’t deserve it, May. I told you last night.”

The feel of him pressed so intimately against her was making her thoughts muddled as her body began to hum.

“A partner might help you heal.” She leaned into him, her legs growing weak as her thighs quivered with need.

One of his arms slid down her backside, to rest across her thighs and support her weight. As though he knew she were having trouble holding herself up. Her heart was hammering in her chest. “But what would I give to a partner besides disappointment?”

She blinked, trying to concentrate. It was important. “No one has ever made me feel like you do.” She pushed out the words between breaths, his touch making her nether regions ache.

“Oh May, that is the easy part. Filling a woman with desire.” His hand was gathering up her nightgown now, pulling it higher and exposing her flesh. His fingers tickled along her leg.

She needed to tell him that she hadn’t meant the physical attraction, she’d meant something much deeper. He saw her as valuable, not just pretty. It was implied when he declared himself not good enough.

But no words could leave her lips as he placed a kiss on the bare skin of her leg. “Loudoun,” she gasped, heat and need flooding her body.

“I told myself when I asked you here that I wouldn’t touch you. It’s not for me to take something so innocent and lovely. But I can’t stay away. I should have known I wouldn’t be able to.” He kissed her thighs a few more times. “There is something I can give you, though. You’ve helped me so much. This is something I can actually give and your innocence will still be preserved. A beautiful gift.” He was steadily moving his lips up her leg toward her inner thigh. Picking her up, he set her on the desk.

Her night rail was around her waist now and as he kissed higher, her legs fell apart, baring herself to him. “Bloody hell, you’re so beautiful,” he murmured as he continued kissing. He’d almost reached her most intimate area and she throbbed with need, desperate to have him touch her there. Her body was aching with desire. “I want to kiss every inch of you and then I want to watch your face as you shatter for me.”

She leaned back, wanting that too. Wanting all of him. But then, as she made to lie across the desk, her back tipped over the bottle. It thudded to the desktop and then rolled to the floor. He paused, and she picked up her head. “Loudoun?”

Their eyes met, and as quickly as it had begun, it was over. He was pulling her nightgown back in place. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Why did you ask me to come?” It came out as an accusation. She wouldn’t cry now but she wanted to.

He winced. “I needed to see you, make sure you were all right.”

“Well, I was.” She stood then, her hands coming to her hips anger bubbling inside her. He was teasing her. Giving a little and then taking away again. And he was distracting her from her real purpose. “I have goals, dreams I want to accomplish and very little time to see them done before Barrett whisks me back to England. I can’t pursue them with you distracting me like this.”

His fingers reached out and skimmed down her leg. “Please don’t be angry with me. Since you’ve come, my control is slipping. I am trying to hold on.”

How could she be angry with that? The truth was, more than anything he’d said, those words filled her with sadness. Because what if he was right all along? What if she was bad for him? He’d been tempted to drink and she’d spent most of her time trying be with him rather than a man who would actually make a suitable husband. “I… I should go.”

She rounded the desk, picked up the bottle, and fled.

THE NEXT MORNING SHE WOKE, her heart heavy and her eyes puffy. But it wouldn’t do to lay about in bed.

Getting dressed, she made her way down to breakfast. Before last night, it had never occurred to her that Loudoun might be right. That she actually was bad for him. If that really was true, she’d have to let him go. She would never do anything to hurt him and she had her own agenda. It was time to stop dallying with Loudoun and focus on her plan.

Making her way the to the breakfast room, she knew she was late but was still surprised to find it empty.

Seating herself, she poured a cup to tea and then helped herself to a pastry. The sound of voices in the hall caught her attention.

“You’ll think about my proposal?” William Wurts Senior’s voice floated into the room.

Loudoun entered and closed the door behind him with more force than necessary.

“Is everything all right?” she looked up at him.

Surprise flitted across his features but it quickly turned to concern. “You’ve been crying.”

“No, I… I mean… how can you tell?” She slumped in her chair, clearly not fooling anyone.

He came to stand next to her, his hand caressing her cheek. “You’re all puffy, sweetheart. Still beautiful but not yourself. Please tell me I didn’t do this to you.”

May couldn’t look at him. She didn’t like lying, never had, but she didn’t want to hurt him either. She couldn’t be angry at him for trying to maintain his sobriety and she needed to put some distance between them. “You were right about me being childish. I’m learning some valuable lessons,” she whispered. “I understand why we wouldn’t be right for each other.”

He was silent and part of her was tempted to look at him, but if she did he’d see the pain and the yearning evident on her face. After several seconds he bent down so they were face to face. “What does that mean?”

“I’ll always care about you, Loudoun, but we shouldn’t spend time together. I’m beginning to understand that I’m no good--”

“No one is as good as you.” His sharp clipped tones made her jolt in surprise.

“But you’ve said it yourself, I’m no good for you.” Tears were forming again.

“No, sweetheart, I’m no good for you. But Wurts, he’s no good either.” His face formed into hard rigid lines.

“Wait, what?” She searched his face for answers but it just grew harder.

“Wurts Junior wants your hand and Wurts Senior has now made it a stipulation in the contract. I’ve worked tirelessly for the deal and now they’re going to destroy it over--”

“Why would it be destroyed?”

“Barrett would never agree.” His features softened slightly. “And neither would I, for that matter.”

“But the deal, it will fall through?” She absolutely hated to see someone she loved lose something they wanted. She was talking about Barrett, of course. She didn’t love Loudoun. Of course she cared about him. Which was likely the reason something in her heart twisted.

He gave a sigh. “It doesn’t matter.”

May didn’t answer, but it mattered to her. Loudoun’s hold on sobriety was slipping, she could see it. Was the deal the reason? While she had little feeling for Willy Wurts, she couldn’t deny that he represented everything she’d been looking for. A chance to belong in America. If she married him, Loudoun would get the contract and she would get her American husband.

But her heart ached painfully as she looked at Loudoun. She couldn’t deny he was the man she longed to touch. It was ridiculous to think. He’d never get involved with her and certainly never marry her.

“You’re not saying anything. What are you thinking?” Loudoun searched her face, his eyes suspicious.

But she only gave him a smile. “I’m glad to see you looking better this morning.”

His eyes narrowed further. “I’m just fine. It’s you I am worried about now.”

May tried to hide the blush creeping up her cheeks. It was gratifying to know he worried and a tiny piece of her hoped it meant that cared but she pushed those thoughts aside. She didn’t know how much time she’d have in America but she couldn’t waste it on Loudoun. No matter how much she wished to….

“Why would you be worried about May?” Barrett rumbled behind them.

Loudoun stood. “Wurts.”

Barrett waved the comment off. “His addendum is preposterous. I am assuming, May, you have no interest in William Wurts Junior? If you do, now would be the time to say so, because he’s offered for your hand. Did Lucius give you the details already?”

She looked at Loudoun. “Yes. And I might be.” She knew she had no feeling for Willy. But she wanted to stay and Loudoun wanted this contract. Plenty of marriages were built on convenience. And she’d come to realize several things. She cared deeply for Loudoun and she wanted to give him this gift. The contract that he desired.

Loudoun’s face went purple and a grunt escaped his lips. “May--”

But Barrett cut him off. “Well in that case, there is a ball tomorrow night. We will attend with them.”

She nodded and stood, her appetite completely gone. “Excellent. If you will both excuse me.”

Loudoun shot daggers at her as she passed. But Barrett gave her a wink. Below his breath, he whispered, “Excellent strategy. He’ll be green with jealousy.”

She shook her head. That wasn’t why she was doing it and she was certain, if it were, that it wouldn’t work.

9

May tried not to shy away as Willy touched her once again. His meaty hands filled her with dread more than anything else. This was all wrong. But how to fix it? She needed an opportunity to meet more suitors.

If that weren’t enough, he was openly gloating in front of Loudoun. “For such a handsome man, you’d think you’d have a companion for the evening.” William nudged Loudoun.

One of Loudoun’s eyebrows arched up and he gave William a dry, almost bored, look. But underneath that, May could sense his tension. “Don’t mistake choice for inability.”

“Care to wager?” William rubbed his hands together, for once not touching her. She would have enjoyed the moment but instead unease made her suck in her breath. If she had to watch Loudoun find company for the evening it would tear her apart. Never mind she was being courted by another man. She was doing that for his benefit. At least partially.

The elder Wurts clapped. “That’s my boy. We’re betting men, we are.”

Loudoun was silent for a moment. “What are the terms?” His face was completely unreadable.

“You must dance at least six of the dances, each with a different lady.” William rocked on the balls of his feet.

“And If I win?” Loudoun was still, almost disengaged. It was impossible to tell what he was thinking. But his eyes met hers and she knew her thoughts must be written all over her face. If she could, she would have begged him not to do this.

“The honor of the final dance with May.” William smiled like a cat who had found the milk.

But Loudoun gave him a winning smile. “I don’t accept. I’ll have that anyway.” And then he was next to her and pulling her toward the dance floor.

“Surely you know this isn’t the final dance.” She had to hurry to keep up with him.

“I’m aware,” he grunted. “If I have to look at that man as he touches you one more time…”

“Are you… are you jealous?” May asked as they reached the floor, and Loudoun swept her into his arms.

“What are you even doing here with him?” Loudoun gave her a dark look but his arms were tender as he held her.

She shook her head. “I want to stay in America.” She was tempted to tell him that she wanted to stay with him. But not only did she not want to be rejected again, she knew it was no good for him. Or for her. She had to stop this fantasy that had been dominating her thoughts. Her and Loudoun together.

“But that can’t mean you’ll marry a man like that?” He looked aghast.

“My suitors in England were much the same. At least if it’s Wurts, I’d get to stay.”

“Is that why you wanted me to purchase that dress, so I could fill in as bridegroom and you could stay in America?” He looked down at her, his face a mask again.

She did not know whether to be insulted or relieved. He didn’t realize she was doing this, in part for him. He clearly hadn’t learned how much she cared for him but did he think she went around letting every man touch her like that? And if she’d wanted to trap him in marriage, she would have done it. She wasn’t that that kind of person and it hurt her that he would think she was. “I—don’t be--- that is absurd.”

“I’m not made for marriage, May.”

She wanted to stop dancing, possibly step on his foot. The assumptions he’d just made about her were awful. She wanted to cry. But she wouldn’t tell him how much he’d hurt her. In time he’d see that she cared. She’d done this because it was best for both of them. So why did it hurt so much?

“I do not care a wit what you’re made for.” She stopped dancing. “If you’ll excuse me.” She couldn’t look at him another second. It felt as though her heart were breaking.

Dashing toward the open patio doors, she snaked through the crowd. She needed to be alone and compose herself. No one could know how much Lucius Loudoun had just hurt her.

LOUDOUN WATCHED her walk away and swore softly under his breath. Willy Wurts was making his way through the crowd toward the patio. Loudoun could see he was following May. His hands had trembled all night, though he had hidden it well. Seeing them together made them start again. Only belatedly did her realize they had ceased shaking while he held May close.

Following them both, he wound through the crowd. He knew it was awful of him to tell May he couldn’t have her but he didn’t want Wurts to either, but it was for her own good. He now knew two generations of Wurts men and didn’t like either of them. May would not give them the third. His breath rumbled in his chest at the thought of Willy touching her. The trembling increased.

She’d planned to meet Wurts out on the patio. Jealousy made his vision blur. He didn’t want that man touching her, not even for a second.

He caught sight of her just ahead and picked up speed, nearly knocking two matronly ladies over.

She disappeared onto the patio and he made it out the doors just in time to see her start down a path.

Slowing, he continued to follow her but now he wanted to know if his suspicions were true. Did they plan this tete-a-tete. Would Wurts become May’s lover? Anger bubbled deep in his gut. If she were going to marry someone else, she had to return to England. He and Barrett were in agreement on that. He couldn’t watch her be someone else’s wife and survive.

She stopped and he stopped too. Willy Wurts was nowhere in sight and she sat on a bench and dropped her head into her hands. And then he heard it. Her first sniffle. Bloody hell, was she crying?

He approached her then, her sadness pulling at his heart but his suspicions still pawing at his stomach. Sliding next to her, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “Wurts isn’t going to like it when he finds us here.”

“What?” She lifted her head then, cheeks glistening with tears. Liquid brown eyes meeting his. “Why would he find us out here?”

Loudoun started in surprise. “He followed you out. Don’t tell me you didn’t plan it?”

Before he’d even seen it coming, a hand met with his cheek… hard. His face stinging, he rubbed the tender flesh.

“Do you think I let every man take the liberties I’ve allowed you? I’ve never allowed anyone to touch me like that. I have feelings for you–“ She stopped, her hand covering her mouth.

And suddenly he understood. He’d insulted her because he’d assumed she had the same intentions with Wurts she’d had with him. When, in fact, she didn’t… at all. He should have known that, but his own insecurities were clouding his vision. Though he hadn’t admitted it out loud, he cared for her too. What was more, now that she was here, her soft skin next to his own, his shake was gone. She soothed him in ways he hadn’t realized.

“Oh May,” he sighed and his lips dropped to her neck. “I didn’t mean it, love. I was jealous, it’s a reflection on me, not on you.”

“Don’t,” she whispered, pulling back.

“I know I shouldn’t kiss you like this but I’m losing control. You make me forget every rule I’ve written for myself. I don’t know how to stop it.” And right now, he couldn’t think of why he would want to.

“We cannot continue doing this,” she huffed as she made to get up. But his hand came to her waist and his lips kissed up to her sensitive earlobe. It was terrible, he knew it. But now that she was so close, everything that had been wrong was suddenly right. All his worries fell away. He felt her shiver as she gasped. Perhaps if he kissed a line to her lips, she’d forget her conviction and stay with him.

“Why wouldn’t you want to?” he whispered.

“Lucius,” she returned and it made him pull back, because she never used his given name. “I’ve allowed you far too many liberties already. You should take me back inside.”

At the thought of her leaving, the distance between them, his hands started to shake again. “One more minute. Please.”

She gave him a searching glance. “I cannot have an affair with you. I should have said it sooner. I’ve been caught up in the feel of--” She stopped. “You’ve been clear about marriage. And I respect it but that leaves us with nothing.”

He leaned his forehead against hers, it sounded like goodbye and his hands shook harder. He needed her. “Not nothing.” It was becoming clear he’d done this all wrong. But how to change it now was a mystery.

“If I marry Wurts, it will take the temptation away for both of us. I’ll get to stay in America and you’ll get your contract.” Her heard her breath shudder out. “I’ll see myself in,” she whispered as she rose from the bench.

There was no way in hell he’d allow her to marry Will Wurts. He’d kill the man or die trying. He sat for a minute or two wondering what to do. The shaking in his hands grew worse.

There was only one thing to do. Stay close to her.

10

There was only one thing to do. Stay far away from Lucius Loudoun. She’d barely been able to walk away in the garden. Her need for him both physically and emotionally was growing despite his attempts to push her away.

But when he wasn’t putting distance between them he was teasing with delicious kisses and breath stealing caresses and that was what she had to avoid. She should have smacked him harder.

Perhaps he’d been right all along. He was no good after all. But that made her heart twist painfully too. She knew there was good in him, his life had forced him to bury it deep but someone had to help him draw it out.

She saw him walk by, and even from a distance she noticed the trembling. His face was pale and, if she drew closer, she was sure his brow was sweating. He checked over his shoulder a few times and then disappeared down a hall.

The set finished and the beau she’d been dancing with presented his elbow to escort her back to Barrett. Willy had disappeared altogether, which was fine as far as she was concerned, though it was odd behavior for a man who claimed to be so enamored. She sighed. Whatever his motivation for wanting to court her, he likely had no more feeling for her than she for him. Part of her was relieved. Perhaps they could have a marriage of convenience if neither heart was involved.

She looked to the hall that Loudoun had used, she shouldn’t care about what he was doing or why he looked so distressed. But she bit her lip, he looked to be in real trouble and she just couldn’t turn it off. It was who she was… she cared deeply. Put herself out for those she loved. As they walked, her escort swung them past the very hall Loudoun had disappeared to.

“Mr. Sampson,” she drawled, turning to the man escorting her.

“Simpson,” he corrected, looking eager nonetheless.

“Of course,” she gave him a bright smile. “No need to escort me further.” She started to pull away but he grasped her hand.

“Oh I wouldn’t feel right, not returning a lady to her chaperone,” he answered.

She stretched her smile even wider. “I’ll return shortly.” She leaned in for a conspiratorial whisper. “I need to find the ladies’ salon. You’re such a vivacious dancer, I simply must rest for a moment.”

He blushed and nodded eagerly, telling her that he would inform Barrett of her whereabouts. That did not give her much time and so she dashed down the hall.

Most of the doors were closed but one was cracked open. Peeking in, she recognized Loudoun’s back as he stood at the desk. “Are you all right?” she asked as she slipped into the room, checking behind her to see if anyone saw her go in.

Before she could even close the door, Loudoun had swept her into his arms. She reached her hands around his neck but not before she peeked at the desk to see a snifter of brandy. “Did you drink any?” she asked trying not let her voice show how frightened she was.

Instead of answering he captured her lips with his own. His kiss tasted as it always did, like cloves and cinnamon, not a hint liquor.

She sighed with relief against his mouth and he used the opportunity to touch his tongue to hers. Every muscle in her body tightened, a sweet ache building inside her. It both excited and irritated her because there was never any relief.

Pulling her mouth from his, she looked at him with accusing eyes. “You frightened me.”

He touched her cheek, giving her a warm smile. “Sorry, love.” He glanced over at the desk. “I know you see me struggling but it isn’t usually so, I don’t know what’s gotten into me.”

She shook her head. “I really am terrible for you. You said I reminded you of the worst time in your life. Am I making you relive it?”

He blinked at her. “I don’t think that is it. I wasn’t being entirely honest with you that night. I was attracted to you but felt I shouldn’t be because of our past relationship.”

A blush crept into her cheeks. “That’s silly. It’s not like Barrett who is like a father to me. We haven’t even seen each other in years.”

“I know that, but even so, you’re right. You are not a woman for an affair and I am not a man meant for marriage. I’m no good at love.”

“You don’t know that. You’ve never really tried.” She touched his cheek, hope blooming in her chest. They were finally having an honest conversation.

“I did. With my parents. I tried to give affection to them in the hopes they’d return it but not even they could love me.” His face tightened.

Her body molded to his. “But that isn’t fair. They were never going to return your feelings. I meant try with someone who would willingly return your affection.”

“The only way to find out is to marry. That is a dangerous risk.” He was already backing away from her again. Retreating.

“Giving and receiving love is the most natural think in the world.” She stepped closer not wanting this moment to end.

“You’ve seen me, what if it puts my sobriety at risk?” His eyes pleaded with her to understand.

She gasped. Her presence did seem to tempt him to drink. “I’ve been worried that it was me.”

“May,” Barrett’s voice called from the hall. “I hear you.”

“Hide,” she gasped.

“I won’t leave you to face him,” Loudoun whispered back.

“If you don’t, I’ll be wearing that wedding dress after all.”

Loudoun grimaced but retreated to the dark corner of the room just as Barrett barreled through the door.

“What are you doing?” he hissed.

“I grew dizzy. I was resting.” She stood up straighter.

“You’re lying. You’ve always been a terrible liar.” His gaze raked up and down her. “Besides I heard you talking. You were alone with a man. Who was it?”

She tilted her chin, but fear was curling in her stomach. “I wasn’t talking to anyone. I just wanted to rest.”

“It wasn’t William. He’s set himself at the gaming table.” He made a disgusted face. “They’re degenerate gamblers. I’d stake my business on it.” He assessed her again. “You could have been ruined for this.”

“But I wasn’t.” She put her hands up, something in his tone was frightening her and she’d never been afraid of Barrett a day in her life. He’d done nothing but love her.

“It’s time for this to end, May. It’s time for you to marry.” He crossed his arms over his chest.

“Wurts?” she croaked out.

“Good God, no.” Barrett scrunched his nose as though he’d smelled something foul. “You know the Earl of Rutland has offered for you. He’s young, handsome, willing to overlook your lack of title.”

May grimaced. “I don’t even know him.” Nor did she like him that much. Not any more or less than Wurts but at least then she’d get a life in America. Free of the aristocracy.

Rutland would marry her despite her lack of title because he wanted her money. But he wouldn’t actually stop judging her. He’d look down on her, she knew it. They all did.

Her insides were twisting and for the first time in her life, she thought she might faint. Leave America. Never see Lucius again. Each of her dreams was shattering in front of her.

“Like Piper, you were born with grace and class. You should marry well, May. Before it’s too late.” Barrett’s voice had softened. “We’ve given you time. But we’ve grown worried about your future. And now, sneaking off to private rooms. It’s time to face your future.”

Her eyes narrowed, but she said nothing. It was best that she gave no indication to Barrett what she was planning. Then he’d have no way to stop her.

HELL AND DAMNATION, he was about to get his wish. She would marry an Englishman. So why did it feel as though his heart were being ripped from his chest?

Just the thought of her getting on a boat and never returning made him ache and his hand tremble. If he didn’t know any better, he’d swear what he wanted was May and not alcohol at all.

It was though a bell were ringing truth in his head. He didn’t give a wit about the liquor. What he was fighting was his attraction to her.

He heard Barrett and May leave and he waited for several seconds before he left his dark corner, following them out the door and down the hall. Instead of going back to the ballroom, he headed for the gaming tables.

He circled around, not picking a game but pretending to consider as his thoughts drifted to May. Regret and need poked at him as he mentally retraced the feel of her curves, the sweetness of her smile. Within a half hour, he saw Barrett towering over the other men as he and May spoke with Wurts.

He approached as Barrett shook hands with Wurts senior. May was staring at him with wide eyes, her shoulders hunched, her lips pressed together, a green tinge to her normally flawless skin.

Turning to Loudoun, Barrett gave him an assessing look. “We’re leaving. Should I send the carriage back for you?”

“No, I’ll accompany you,” he answered quickly.

It took several minutes to reach the carriage and nearly all of his willpower to not pull her into his arms.

Once settled in the buggy, Loudoun sat next to May, his knee subtly brushing hers. He just wanted to touch her. Barrett rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I am sorry, Lucius, but I don’t think the railroad deal will go through.”

Of course, he knew this already but he couldn’t let on. He turned to May. “You’ve decided not to accept William’s suit?”

She didn’t answer, just shook her head, looking down at her lap. His insides gave a new lurch. He should rescue her. He should offer for her. He couldn’t be worse than a man she’d never met, could he?

“She’s accepted the suit of another. Lord Rutland of Yorkshire.”

It was even worse hearing this time because he felt her shudder. It was as though he were made of stone. That’s how still he sat. He couldn’t even pretend congratulations. This had been what he wanted. Her to return to England. Marry some faceless lord.

Except he wouldn’t be faceless to her. She’d have to live with that future. A lump in his throat made it hard to swallow.

The carriage arrived at his home and May didn’t wait for either of them to hand her out. She bolted from the carriage, racing up the steps.

He went to follow but Barrett held him back. “Let her go. She needs to be alone.”

Loudoun wasn’t so sure. She’d never left him alone when she thought he needed her. And it didn’t seem right not to do the same.

But Barrett was her guardian so obviously he’d have to wait till the other man went to bed.

IT TOOK over an hour before Barrett retreated to his room but then Loudoun raced up the stairs and knocked softly on May’s door. “I need to talk to you,” he whispered. But no response came from the other side.

Knocking again, a touch louder, he still got no response. Trying the knob, it gave under his hand and he swung open the door.

Candles lit the room, and the window was thrown open to the cool night air. It was chilly and he was surprised until he saw the knotted sheets hanging out the window. May had run away.

11

Slipping along the dark New York streets, May worked on a plan. Find a hotel, spend the night, that was first. Try to answer an ad for a lady’s companion or perhaps a nanny. If all else failed, she’d approach the Wurts. She didn’t know if William’s infatuation with her or with her connection to a duke, but she couldn’t rule it out.

But she wouldn’t go back to England. Especially not to marry some pompous lord. Barrett thought he was keeping her close but once she was married she was at her husband’s whim. She’d return to her family in time, having lived her life her way.

She knew the Ritz was only seven or eight blocks away so she kept walking. Seeing a group of men up ahead, she took a right down a side street, thinking she could avoid them and easily find her path again.

But the street kept veering further to the right, she cut down a street to the left, hoping to find her way again but it didn’t lead back to Fifth Avenue. Her heart began to beat faster as she looked around.

The buildings were changing, tenements replaced the upscale structures of a block ago. Should she turn around and backtrack?

Spinning to do just that, she saw a man walking casually behind her. He was several feet back with his hands in his pockets. Should she keep going forward or go back towards him? Ask him for help?

She could cross the street and then backtrack, which seemed safest. She should have hired a hack but she’d wanted to save her pin money for the hotel.

Crossing, she started back the other way but her heart jumped into her throat when the man crossed too and began to follow.

Moving faster, her eyes searched for the road she turned from. If she could just make it back to Fifth Avenue, she might be safe.

A glance over her shoulder near made her scream. He was moving closer, and another man was just behind him, following them both. She was close to running now, watching over her shoulder. Taking a quick glance forward, a third man suddenly stepped in front of her. She tried to scream but a hand clamped over her mouth.

“Well aren’t you a sweet little treat.” He leered at her and even in the dark, she could see the gaps in his teeth. Black holes that allowed his stinking breath to blow across her face. “Somebody would like a word with you.” His smiled broadened and she tried to pull away. A yelp escaped around the hand covering her mouth when her body bumped into another solid mass.

Heart hammering so loud she could barely hear, she tried to skirt to the side but the third man was there and she was pinned.

Their hands touched her as they pressed closer and nausea rose in her stomach. She didn’t mean to but tears leaked from her eyes as she put up a futile struggle to get free.

“He didn’t say she’d be so pretty.” One of them reached out to squeeze her breast through her clothes. A scream built in her chest as her heart hammered wildly.

“I don’t see why we can’t have a little fun first,” the other grunted, pressing closer.

A hand reached under her skirt, traveling up her leg. She wrenched to the side, but another body prevented her movement. Sick dread made her movements jerky and rational thought was next to impossible as another hand pulled at her pantaloons and the fabric ripped. Nausea made her weak and she fought to remain present. She had to fight.

She cried out but the sound was muted from the hand still clamped over her lips.

She tried to wrench her head to loosen his grip and bite at his fingers but just as she turned the hand was gone. She heard the thud of a body hitting the stone street. The man behind her disappeared. Turning her head the other way, she caught sight of Loudoun’s face, fury making the hard angles of cheeks and jaw look chiseled from stone.

Before she could even cry with relief, his fist had landed in the face of her third assailant and the man dropped to the ground without making a sound.

And then his arms were around her, yanking her back the way she’d come. When she stumbled at the force of it, he swept her into his arms and carried her through an alley and out onto a much brighter street. “What the bloody hell were you thinking?”

He had every right to ask. But she just couldn’t answer. Relief made her limp and she buried her face in his shoulder, breathing in his scent and the strength of his body.

Though she hadn’t felt it, her hair had come loose during the struggle. His fingers wound into the strands, cradling her head. Giving a gentle tug, he pulled her head back to look at him. His voice rough with emotion, he asked, “Do you know how much danger you were in?”

Looking in his eyes, still narrowed in anger, her own voice caught as she tried to speak. “Lucius.” Her arms wrapped around his neck.

“I told you that New York wasn’t safe. That you shouldn’t be wandering alone, at night no less. Who were you meeting?” His grip around her waist tightened almost painfully.

“Meeting?” She looked at him in confusion.

“What bloody fool sent you out into the night by yourself? I’ll tear him to pieces.” Loudoun flagged a passing hack, who promptly stopped.

Barking out the address, he snapped open the door and carried her inside, sitting on the back bench with her in his lap.

“Is yer wife all right then?” The driver called down as he snapped the reins.

“Fine,” Loudoun responded. “Just hurt herself on a loose stone.”

“Oh, ye’ve got to watch out for those,” the driver answered as the horse picked up speed.

Loudoun leaned next to his ear. “If you were my wife, you wouldn’t have been out at night like that.”

“If I was your wife, I wouldn’t need to,” she replied, but couldn’t muster any anger and instead snuggled her head back into his shoulder.

“Why were you out?” His voice had calmed some, and his arms were wrapped like a blanket around her.

She shook her head. “When I was twelve, I tried to run away. I’d found out that my cousin Lizzie was considering marriage to a complete cad to keep me safe. I didn’t want to ruin her life so I left in the middle of a snow storm. It went about as well as this.” She shook her head and that was when the tears started. “I told myself I could make it on my own. But I’m completely useless, apparently.”

“You were running away?” Loudoun looked at her completely aghast. “To where? To do what?”

“To not marry Lord Rutland for starters,” she bit back, some of her tears drying. “I don’t think these things through properly. That’s my first problem.”

“I’d say so.” His eyebrows raised. “I should put you over my knee and spank you for the scare you gave me.”

A retort started from her mouth about how she wasn’t a child, how he had to stop treating her like one but, the truth was, she’d acted like one tonight. “You probably should.”

He sucked in his breath and leaned back, his eyes going wide. Suddenly she had an image of herself being splayed across his lap, his hands touching her behind, moving between her… She closed her eyes. For so many reasons, now was not the time.

“May,” his husky whisper was full of pent up emotion. “You’re going to be the death of me.”

Both times she’d run away, she’d nearly died. Those men had frightened her. Thank goodness Loudoun had gotten there when he did. “I’m going to be the death of myself,” she said shaking her head.

He shot back up, his hand squeezing her tight again. “Don’t even think it.”

“Think what?” she blinked at him, trying to understand.

“You just said you were going to be the death of yourself.” He gave an exasperated breath.

“Oh, I only meant, my foolish attempts at running away.” She shook her head. “But I’ll not marry Rutland. That I am sure of. I’ll have to return to England though, I suppose. Lizzie will take me in. I can be a school mistress or lady’s companion.” In this moment, she realized she didn’t want to marry Wurts either. She’d rather be alone than suffer a marriage of convenience. She knew Barrett would be hurt after his attempts to make a strong match for her but he’d forgive her in time.

“Honest to goodness, if you don’t stop talking, I’m going to lose my mind.” One of his hands left her back and began to rub his temples.

“Allow me.” She unwound her hands from his neck and, brushing his hand aside, began to lightly massage the skin around his eyes. “I’m sorry I’ve given you such stress. Thank you for saving me.”

He groaned, his hand moving back into her hair. “Keep doing that and I might forgive you.”

“What would I have to do to earn more than forgiveness?”

LOUDOUN STILLED UNDERNEATH HER FINGERS. Her body was pressed close to his, every curve fitting perfectly against him as her gentle fingers rubbed at his skin.

Her silky hair caressed his fingertips and her breath was fanning his cheeks in the most intimate way.

Part of him wanted to tell her she’d earned everything he had to give, his heart, soul and body, but he couldn’t say it. He shouldn’t give her that kind of hope. He’d already told her he was too broken to really give her the love she deserved. “May,” his voice held a warning. Because if he started talking, who knows what might slip from his lips.

The carriage rolled to a stop. “No talk of feelings or futures,” she whispered. “But please don’t just send me back to my room. I don’t want to be alone.”

He slid her onto the seat and then paid the driver. Swinging her back into his arms, he started carrying her inside. Partially because of what he’d told the driver but mostly because he liked the feel of her.

He should just drop her in her room. It was a dangerous idea, spending time alone with her. But he’d been frightened too. More than he had been in a long time. So as foolish as it was to stay with her, he didn’t want to leave her alone where he couldn’t keep his eyes and his hands on her. “I don’t want to leave you alone.”

Carrying her up the stairs, he entered her room and set her down on a chair. Pulling her sheets up through the window, he closed it and then crossed to the fire to stoke it up. Her eyes followed him about the room and it made the tension curling in his belly tighter still.

He turned, his eyes finding hers. He could see the hunger lighting them. “I’ve told you, I’m no good for you.”

“We’re not talking about that, remember?” She gave him a falsely bright smile.

“Let’s just say for a moment we were talking about it. The prudent thing to do would be to ask me to leave.”

She silently assessed him and then stood, crossing the room where he stood in front of the fire.

“You should also likely stay on the other side of the room.”

“I’m cold.” She slipped her arms around him.

He wrapped his around her too. She always knew exactly how to brush past any barrier he put up.

“Lucius,” she began.

“When and why did you start calling me by my given name?” He settled her closer.

“You had your head between my…” she stopped, blushing. “I thought it appropriate.”

He grinned then. “It is, indeed.”

“Since we’re talking about what we’re not supposed to, do you honestly think I will be happier with Wurts or Rutland?”

He sucked in his breath. She was too smart for her own good. “With one of them, I won’t have to see your disappointment and know that I caused it.”

“You’ll just have to picture me with Rutland. He’s likely fat, and gap-toothed.”

He tilted her head back to look up at him. He laughed he couldn’t help it. “With a clubbed foot.”

“And what would my children look like?” She raised her eyebrows.

“Most likely, just like their father.” His eyebrows drew together. May having another man’s children was completely unacceptable.

“Instead, I could be with you, and we could have little golden haired girls wearing pink ribbons in their hair.” Her voice had dropped to a whisper.

He couldn’t help it, his head dropped lower to hear her. “No. They’ll have chocolate brown curls that bounce as they run and laugh.” His lips brushed hers and the image of beautiful May holding the hand of his little girl who looked just like her filled him with such warm longing that he ached from it.

“And a boy too,” she murmured against his lips. “Who’ll grow big and strong.”

“Will he grow bitter and resentful?” Loudoun lifted his head then. “Like me.” He pulled a little further away. “My parents didn’t love me, May. They looked at me with nothing but disappointment and disdain. What if I do that to our children?”

“You won’t.” She shook her head. “I know you have love in your heart.”

“No one has ever loved me, May. I’m not worth it and I don’t know how to give it.”

“I love you,” she whispered, tightening her grip. “Don’t say anything. I didn’t have the love of my parents either, but I was loved. And I could give it to you, if you’d let me.”

“I don’t know how.” He kissed her forehead. “But thank you for trying. It means so much that you did.”

He pulled away then, because another second and he’d forget every word and tumble her onto that bed. Even now a piece of him screamed to throw caution to the wind, make love to her and then deal with the consequences tomorrow. But even as he thought it, he knew it was so selfish, and he needed to do what was best for her.

“Good night, May.” Unwinding his arms from around her, he dragged himself to the door. How had she not grown tired of the sight of his back?

12

Stubbornness had long been one of her qualities. That and optimism. It had carried her through the tragedies in her life and she firmly believed that it would again.

He cared for her, she knew he did. She just needed to break his outer shell to get to the softer inside. The problem was, she was running out of time. Because her decision had been made. She loved Loudoun and only he would do. No more running from her feelings.

“May, did you hear me?”

Her attention snapped back to the present. Barrett was giving her his glower as she sat across from him in the carriage. They were making their way across town to the docks.

“Hmm?” she said by way of answer.

“I’m shortening the trip to New York.” Barrett gave her a level stare.

Had Loudoun told him about last night? “Why?”

“The deal with Wurts has likely fallen through, the audit is almost complete, and your bridegroom awaits.” He looked out the window. “And I miss Piper, the children, the baby.”

She reached across and held his hand. “I don’t blame you.” She had to do this next part carefully. She had no intention of marrying Rutland, but Barrett didn’t have to know that. “Since I’m marrying an Englishman, this may be my last trip to America. Can’t I stay a little longer? Take another ship back?”

His eyes snapped back to hers. “Out of the question.”

“Just another week?” She balled her fists into her skirts. They were both about to dig their heels in.

“America has not been good for you. You’ve been acting erratically and that is with my supervision.” Barrett shook his head.

“Loudoun could act as my guardian. He’d keep me safe.” She tried to keep a casual tone. A voice that did not give away her feeling for the man or the country.

But Barrett snorted as he answered. “Utterly ridiculous.”

“I am nearly twenty one years of age. Why is it ridiculous?” She crossed her arms, digging in to do battle. Few knew what a soft heart this ferocious looking duke actually had.

“Loudoun’s far too enamored with you to be left alone in your company.”

“You think that he… is enamored of me?” She couldn’t quite keep the hope out of her voice as her breath caught. Perhaps she should just tell Barrett of her feelings but she was almost certain he wouldn’t approve of the man.

Barrett stopped then and gave her a long assessing stare. “You’re fond of him too. How much so?”

“I know what you’re going to say. He isn’t an appropriate choice.” It was her turn to look away.

He didn’t answer for so long that she finally had to glance back at him. His eyes were intent upon her. “Chris and Alex would not approve of him as your suitor, but then again, they do not know him like I do.”

She didn’t understand that comment but she waited for him to continue, knowing that now was a time for listening.

“His past is sordid but he is strong, capable, titled and waiting for the right woman. Piper was that woman for me. The way he looks at you… you could be the right one for him.”

Her heart nearly seized in her chest. Never had she expected to hear that. She launched herself across the carriage, hugging her adopted father around the neck. “Thank you for saying that.”

He hugged her back and then began untangling her arms. “You should sit back down before you fall.” His voice was gruff but a small smile touched his lips.

Smoothing her skirts, she returned to her seat, clearing her throat. “Barrett, I can’t leave just yet. I need more time with Lucius.”

“When did you start calling him Lucius?” Barrett asked, his eyes narrowing. “Did you come to America for him? And why didn’t you tell me all this before? I would have done things differently if I had known.”

“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t know. We both watched him recover and at first I thought maybe I just felt sympathy. And he is still fragile. But I could help him. He needs love like I needed all of you.” She took a deep breath. “But I need him too, I understand that now. Just like me, he’s English but an outsider. Nearly an orphan. We understand each other in ways I never imagined. The problem is, he’s convinced he isn’t marriage material.”

“Being stubborn, is he?”

“Of course. The question is, how do I convince him that I am the right woman for him. He is certain he will never marry and he’s sure that he doesn’t deserve love. Honestly, I think his parents were quite cruel and they’ve convinced him that he’s unlovable.”

Barrett grimaced. “I can try to help you on that front. Not that I am sure that I approve. But I do remember that many didn’t approve of me as a match for Piper. And I never thought I was good enough for her.”

“Thank you, Barrett.” Her adopted father continued to amaze her.

“But we can’t stay forever and I won’t leave you. If you can’t convince him, you must secure your own reputation and future by marrying Rutland.”

“I can’t just become a spinster?” She sounded like a petulant child but she didn’t want a husband forced on her.

“I would take care of you if you did. But if you can’t make a love match, perhaps you should consider Rutland. I know I lost my temper yesterday when I demanded you marry him, but I am worried for you. And Rutland is handsome, kind, and capable.” Barrett leaned forward. “And he lives in England.”

She grinned then. “But you’ll help me with Lucius anyway.”

“I will. Because I can’t resist you. And because, you’re right. You are exactly what he needs.” He winked then. “I’ll deny this part, but if you’re successful, he’ll take over the English branch.”

As she made to protest, he grinned. “I jest. But you will be expected to visit often.”

The carriage rolled to a stop. They had reached the docks where Barrett would be inspecting the ships in his fleet. “Will he be here?”

“Of course.” Barrett nodded. “But if you truly want to win him over, what he needs is your kindness and understanding, not demands.”

Barrett’s word rang in her head. Of course what he needed was unconditional love. It had never been given to him and he wouldn’t heal without it. She knew what to do. “Assign him to attend me throughout the inspection.”

Barrett glowered. “Do not do anything that compromises your reputation.”

May did not respond. It was too late for that.

LOUDOUN WATCHED Barrett hand May down from the carriage. Bloody hell, she was lovely this morning. Her pale pink gown and matching hat complemented the creaminess of her skin and the rich brown of her hair, not to mention accentuating every one of her curves.

It was growing increasingly difficult to deny his feelings. Wild thoughts of throwing his reservations aside and taking her for his own were flitting through his mind. So what if he didn’t have a whole heart to give her? Part of his heart was better than the arranged marriage she faced in England.

But then he stopped again. She would love him with everything she had. It was who she was. And as lovely as that sounded, she would grow to resent him in return. Everyone who tried to love him did.

They began walking toward him. May held her usual expression of excitement and affection but Barrett was eyeing him in the strangest way. As though the duke was recalculating his opinion of his American manager. What had May told him?

“Lucius, would you do the honors of escorting May so that I might look about more freely?”

“Of course,” Loudoun responded, holding out his arm to May. Obviously May hadn’t mentioned the liberties he’d taken. But something was afoot.

“Are you all right?” he whispered as they began following Barrett.

She nodded. “I am sorry I frightened you last night, frightened us both. Thank you again for saving me.”

Loudoun glanced at Barrett, who was climbing up the gangplank and onto the first ship. He followed at a more leisurely pace. The man could move on a ship. It came in handy now as the duke moved away from them, giving them some privacy to converse. “Promise me never to do anything like that again.”

“Considering how little time I have left in America, I am sure I can behave until then.” She gave his arm a squeeze and he felt his heart begin to thump. He didn’t know how he might say goodbye to her.

“When?” His throat was tight as he asked the question.

She shook her head. “He didn’t say but he did mention that he misses Piper and is eager to see me settled.”

May didn’t look him in the eye and he knew what the unspoken question was. Would he save her from going back to England? Hell and damnation he was tempted.

Barrett disappeared below deck, most likely to inspect the hull, and Loudoun pulled May towards the rear. They’d be in plain sight but it was a quieter spot on the ship. “What has he said about Rutland?” Jealousy was rising like bile in his throat.

Her hand pressed to the base of her neck. “That I should give him a chance.” She turned to him then, her eyes large. “But I am afraid and I don’t want to return to England.”

Looking around, he saw no one, and swooped down to give her a quick kiss. “It will all work out, I know it. You deserve the best and Barrett won’t settle for anything less.”

She looked at him with an odd expression. Like he’d said something terribly insightful though it seemed obvious to him. “Don’t you consider yourself the best?”

“Me?” His eyebrows drew together. “I’ve told you before. I’m not good enough for you. I never will--”

She stood on tiptoe and pressed her lips to his. “You’re not giving yourself enough credit, Lucius. I still have a little time and I am going to use it to prove to you that you are good enough. Even if it isn’t me you marry. It’s important you know, you deserve happiness.”

He stared at her. All this time, he thought her motivation might have been staying in America or, perhaps, attraction to him. But now, she was declaring she wanted him to be happy, even if they didn’t end up together. How could she be that selfless? It made him ache to hold her close.

Barrett entered his sight line and he tucked her hand back into his elbow. As she walked, her hip brushed his upper thigh, tightening everything in him. He wanted her so much. Not just in his bed, like this. Walking next to him, touching him. Smiling up at him with her beautiful smile.

It was going to be a long and trying afternoon.

13

May was delighted with the afternoon. Loudoun kept her close the entire day, his glances speaking of desire and intimacy. His touch was gentle and often. They didn’t speak any more of the future or their relationship, but May was content with the day. And tonight, she had a gift for him.

Dinner was also a delightful affair, Barrett regaling them with stories of his family. After the meal, May excused herself.

Barrett turned to her. “With only three of us, there is no need for you to leave the men. You’re welcome to join us.”

But she smiled. “Smoke your pipes and cigars. All that walking today has worn me out. Goodnight.” She kissed Barrett’s cheek then gave Loudoun a nod.

Racing to her room, her maid helped her change and brush out her hair. “Would you like me to braid it, miss?”

“Just a loose one, tonight,” she requested. Nervous excitement flitted through her chest as she assessed her reflection. It would be night she’d never forget.

As soon as she was alone, she tossed on her housecoat and made her way down the hall by candlelight. If Loudoun’s bedroom was locked, this would be trickier.

Reaching his room, she tried the handle and found the door to be open. A sigh of relief escaped her lips. Sliding inside, she lit the candle next to the bed and slipped off the housecoat. Then, stoking the fire, she slid in between his covers to wait, her heart hammering so loud, she was sure it was echoing through the house.

She’d been prepared to wait a long time but within a quarter hour the door opened and Loudoun walked in. She almost gasped aloud in surprise, which was silly. The entire reason she was here was to be with him.

“I think I’ll just be working from my home office tomorrow,” he said and May realized the real flaw in her plan. His valet was with him. Her butterflies of excitement and anticipation turned to dread.

Popping up, she saw Loudoun’s head swing toward her and then he turned on his heel. “I won’t be needing your services tonight.” His body blessedly blocked her from the view of the man behind him but she slid under the covers just in case.

The door clicked closed and, in an instant, Loudoun was pulling the covers back, his face close to hers. “What do you think you are doing?”

She gave him a glowing smile, not lifting from the bed. “I have a gift for you.”

He groaned. “May, I can barely keep my hands off you when you are not in my bed.”

“So don’t,” she answered as she slowly began lifting the hem of her nightgown. “I’ve heard there are precautions we can take so that I do not conceive, is that true?”

His eyes were glued to the fabric as it slid past her knees to her thighs. “Yes, for the most part.”

She nodded. “Then I want to give you my virginity,” she whispered as the fabric slid to her mid-thigh.

“This is not wise. I’ve told you--”

She rose up then, and pressed her lips to his to silence them. “This is a gift. I want nothing in return. It’s yours to have forever since I can never give it to another.” Then she lay back down, and continued pulling her hem up.

It had near reached the juncture of her thighs and his trembling hand followed its path up her bare flesh.

When she exposed her most intimate parts, she heard him suck in his breath. But she kept going, reveling in the way his eyes devoured her. Soon her navel was exposed and then her ribs. His hand kept moving too, tracing the line of the hip to her tiny waist. His fingers counting her ribs as the lace along the bottom reached her breasts.

Her courage failed for just a second. Once it was done, it could not be undone. But then he took over, brushing the linen up over her breast while using the movement to give them the lightest caress. “My god, you’re stunning.” He planted a light kiss in the valley between them even as he pulled her up to lift the night rail over her head. Then he reached for the ribbon in her hair.

Untying it, he undid the braid, combing her locks out onto his pillow. He kissed her face, then her neck as he slowly traced the outline of every curve with his hands.

Her eyes fluttered closed and she had the distinct impression that it was he who was giving her a gift. Her body hummed under his touch. It was amazingly gentle as he caressed every inch of her.

And then his lips began to trail down her neck to her collarbone as he shrugged out of his own shirt. At the touch of his bare skin to hers, she gasped, her body arching against his. He smiled as he nuzzled her. “There is nothing better than the feel of skin against skin.”

“I didn’t know.” She laced her fingers though his hair as his lips kissed a path toward her breast. Her body tensed in a sweet ache that left her breathless, her skin tingling with anticipation.

His lips lightly brushed one of her nipples, and though the touch was gentle her body spasmed in need. “Lucius,” her tone begged and she pushed up toward him.

With a grin, he took the nipple in his mouth and sucked deeper. Then he moved to do the same to the other. His lips began working lower, skimming across her abdomen, she started pushing him further, remembering the feel of his kisses on her thighs.

“Patience, my love,” he whispered against her belly. “It will be so much better if we go slowly.” He gave her stomach another light kiss. “Besides, I want to savor every second of this.”

“Will you remember me when I’m gone?” She sucked in her breath as his lips brushed along her lower belly.

“Always,” he whispered as he parted her legs and kissed her thighs.

The ache was so intense that her head thrashed back and forth on the pillow. “I’ll never love another. I want you to know that.”

His lips just brushed the soft folds of her sex and she cried out. He didn’t answer, instead he began a slow rhythm with his mouth that had her body heating beyond anything she had ever experienced before.

She was dying from pleasure and desperate to move faster but Loudoun kept the pace slow and the wanting only seemed to increase her pleasure.

Her body tightened and tensed, toes curling as pleasure unfurled inside her. Though it was her lower lips he kissed she could have sworn he was whispering words of love as he worked her. Unable to stand the pleasure another moment, her body shattered. She cried out, words tumbling from her lips that she barely understood. If he’d asked her to repeat them, she was sure she wouldn’t remember what they were. He kissed a trail back up the line of her stomach between her breast and up her neck. “That was beautiful,” he whispered in her ear, the skin of his chest brushing hers. “Thank you.”

“Why are you thanking me?” Her eyes had been closed in sated pleasure but she pried them open to look in his. “I should be thanking you. I came to give you a gift but I think it is you who is giving.”

“I could do that a thousand times and never grow tired of it. It would always be a gift to me,” he whispered.

A sudden pang of doubt clogged her throat. Because he very well may do that a thousand more times, just not with her. “I’m sure you’ve held many women like that.”

“Not like that. Never like that.” He held her chin as he looked into her eyes. “That was my gift.” He kissed her lips, once, twice, three times and then pulled back to look at her again. “I won’t take your virginity, May. It’s too much, even for a man as selfish as me.”

Tears pricked her eyes then. She knew the real reason and she turned away. “You don’t want me.”

“Oh, love. Try to understand. A man will plow nearly any field that will accept him. But that… is completely different. It is special because you are.” He took a breath. “I don’t take your virginity because I care about you too much. You’ll see. You’ll thank me for saving it for your husband.”

He was kissing her again. Back down her body. She tried to push him away, wanting to reject him the way he’d rejected her, but he sucked one of her nipples into his mouth and she cried out in pleasure, pulling him close rather than pushing him away. It was too difficult to resist now. “I’ll make you feel so good, May. Tonight will be ours.” And then he slid down between her legs again. “You are so stunning. Never have I seen a woman as perfect as you.” As he lowered his head, he inserted a finger deep inside her. She bucked against him, pleasure exploding around him, causing her body to heave and shudder.

Her eyes were heavy as she floated back down, but she wasn’t about to let him get away so easily. If he could use his mouth on her, couldn’t she do the same for him?

Grasping his shoulders, she pulled him back up her body, delighting once again in the brush of his chest. “So you do not want to be inside me?”

“That is not what I said.” He brushed her hair back from her face, allowing the strands to slip through his fingers.

“I can’t make you, can I?” she quirked a brow.

He chuckled. “I suppose you could try.”

“Can I touch you the way you touched me?” she asked, pushing him to the side and rolling with him so they lay facing each other.

His breath hitched and with a nod, he began unlacing his breeches. “It won’t take much, I swear. I’ve been dying for you.”

She gave a shake of her head. Strange how the pleasure mixed with the pain. Was that how it always was?

She looked down to see his straining manhood between their bodies. It too looked near pained, so swollen the skin was taut. Wrapping her hand around it, she heard his breath hiss. Using his own hand, clasped over hers, he began a slow rhythm. But he hadn’t just used his hands, he’d also used his mouth and so she scooted down, feathering kisses along his belly. When she reached the tip, she placed a soft kiss there, marveling at the velvety softness of his skin.

She heard him groan as the fingers of his free hand wound into her hair. Opening her mouth, she slid her tongue along the shaft. He was growling as his hand tightened in her hair and he increased the tempo. But like him, she kept her mouth soft, slow, teasing the most pleasure from him till his groans were gasping breaths and he was pumping into her, every muscle straining. It was so masculine that she felt her own excitement rising.

“May,” he gasped out as his seed spilled in her mouth.

Looking up at him, she grinned, wanting to bask in the pleasure she had given him. Wanting more for herself. She kept her hand on his shaft, kept the rhythm even though he’d let go.

His eyes were round as he looked at her. “May?”

“If this is our night… I don’t want to be done yet. Do you?” And then she bent down to kiss the muscles of his stomach. But her lips barely brushed the skin and he was dragging her up his body and rolling over, he was on top of her. His forearms sat on either side of her while his hand cradled her head and his lips pressed over and over to hers.

“No, I don’t want to be done.”

14

The truth was, he never wanted to be done. If he had thought that May was enticing before, now she was irresistible. Her eagerness, sensuality, kindness were forming around him and he was healing. Deep inside.

A decision was being made, he had no control over it, but he wouldn’t let her go. She was his and this was where she belonged.

He swelled at the thought and her legs wrapped around his waist. She was so inviting, everything about her fitting him perfectly. He had sensed it.

Without meaning too, he began pushing inside of her as she conformed around him like a glove. “I was going to wait,” he groaned.

“Wait for what?” Her hands were digging into his back, her body tensing at the invasion. But he couldn’t stop now. She was his, she belonged to him and he wanted to claim her.

Pushing all the way inside, be broke through her maidenhead as she cried, wrapping her arms around him.

“You’re mine now, May.” He kissed her, slowly easing out of her and then gently pushing back in, allowing her body to adjust. “I won’t let another man have you.”

Her lips met his stroke for stroke. “Are you saying we’ll marry?”

“Yes.” That was exactly what he was saying. It wasn’t that he pushed his doubts aside or suddenly believed in the institution of marriage but it was the only choice with a woman like her. He’d have to do his best to make her happy.

“But I thought you didn’t want to…” She trailed off as he moved inside her again. He saw her eyes roll back as she met his stroke.

“I want you.” He knew he was failing already. She had expressed her love and all he had talked about was desire. He made a silent plea that it would be enough.

As if she heard him, she replied, “Yes.”

He moved inside her, slowly, carefully, even as her body seemed to crave more. But his gentleness was his way of showing his feelings. He’d keep her safe from pain and harm always.

The pressure was building inside him, the need for release. But he kept the rhythm slow even as she ground against him. “Lucius,” she begged.

Squeezing his eyes shut, he answered her plea by increasing the tempo as together they crashed into release.

She lay in the circle of his arms. Her hand leisurely stroking up and down his side as her eyes drifted closed. Sleepily, she murmured, “We don’t have to marry. It wasn’t my intent.”

He smiled against her temple. “We will marry, despite your intent. Neither Wurts nor Rutland or any other will have you. You are mine.”

With a sleepy smile, she drifted off to sleep. He lay watching the softness of her features as her eyelashes rested on her cheeks. She was so lovely, he ached as he looked at her. He’d not return her to her room till dawn. He didn’t care who found out. In his mind, May was already his.

Pulling her closer, he fell asleep.

HEADING down the stairs the next morning, he was sure May was still sleeping. She’d barely woken when he’d carried her to her room. A deep satisfaction filled him at the thought.

Making his way directly to the study, he wanted to discuss the marriage with Barrett before he did anything else.

Voices drifted from the room and he hesitated for a moment, wondering if he should interrupt. But then he pushed the door open. It was his house and his study, after all.

Barrett glanced up and then waved him forward.

The elder Wurts didn’t seem to notice as he continued on. “My son was most enamored with your niece. We have substantial holdings that we would be willing to bring to the negotiating table to tie our families together.”

Willy didn’t look smitten, he only looked as though he indulged in too many pints the night before, he was hunched over, pale and sweating.

“How did it go at the tables?” Loudoun asked from the doorway. He no longer cared about the contract and so, rather than indulging either Wurts’ ego, he wanted to prod them a little.

William glowered at him and he knew the man had lost. He also knew that a man enamored did not abandon his lady for the gaming tables.

But his father stepped in. “My son came home with an excess of winnings.” He turned back to Barrett and leaned forward. “We are about to expand our line, and we’d be willing to give you a percentage.”

Loudoun moved into the room, sitting on the edge of his desk. “What do you like best about Miss Stanly?”

Willy gave him a bleary stare. “What?”

“This is a love match, yes? What has you so enamored?” Loudoun crossed his arms over his chest. He would make the man squirm and then he would throw him out on his arse.

“Besides her beauty?” Willy blinked. “Her charm, of course.”

Wurts senior looked well pleased with the answer but Loudoun rolled his eyes. “Is that why you spent most of the evening at the tables?”

Understanding slowly dawned on Willy’s face as his look went from confused to surprised and then angry. “You’re the one who dragged her off.”

“That’s right.” Loudoun leaned down wanting to be clearly heard. “She isn’t for you. Take your offer and get out of my house.”

“Now see here,” Wurts senior stood.

“There will be no contract. Good day.” Loudoun stood too, towering over the other man. He was trying to rein in his temper. He anger was near irrational. But his hands were shaking again. Now he knew, he didn’t want liquor, he only wanted her. It was a damn good thing he was marrying her. He didn’t know if he’d survive without her.

Willy stood and gave him a menacing glare before turning on his heel to exit. Wurts followed suit, but before he exited, called, “This isn’t over.”

“There was a better way to handle that,” Barrett chimed in behind him.

“Willy doesn’t care for her.” Loudoun stood. He clenched his fists to hide the tremor in his hands. “Their lies were insulting.”

“To whom?” Barrett asked.

“To you. To her. She deserves a husband who cherishes her. Not one who leaves her for the gaming tables.”

“Like you?” Barrett voice was quiet, neutral.

Loudoun took a breath. He’d just accused Wurts of dishonesty and so he wouldn’t commit the same act. He’d tell the truth. “I don’t deserve her either. I know that.”

“I told Chris, May’s cousin by marriage, that we never deserve them. If you’ve chosen the right woman, she is better than you. We keep them safe from the evils in this world and in return, they make us better men. I didn’t deserve Piper either. Not sure I do now. But I love her with all my heart and I am changed for the better because of it.”

Loudoun tossed himself into the chair that Wurts had just vacated. “You’ve given that speech before?”

“I have.” He nodded. “Chis lost his parents. He used war to drown his sorrows rather than drink but it left him scarred. May’s cousin Lizzie is much like May. Kind and warm, though May is more stubborn. I am not surprised they have fallen in love with similar men.”

“Chris, is he happy?” Loudoun looked to the floor. His hands stilled as he waited for Barrett’s answer.

“Very. And you will be too.” Barrett nodded.

“And Liz?”

“Oh yes. Chris and their children are her pride and joy.”

Loudoun couldn’t help it, a grin eased across his face at the thought of being happily wed to May. “So if I offer for May, you’ll accept my suit over Rutland’s?”

“Only if you promise to visit England often.” Barrett cleared his throat. “I don’t jest. May is like my daughter and I must see her as much as possible.”

Loudoun gave a nod, relief near making him weak. “I’d prefer a country estate over a London town house for the second residence. Are there any nearby you for sale?”

“You have properties already.” Barrett raised one eyebrow.

“Do you find them to be close enough to your holdings?” One corner of Loudoun’s mouth tipped up.

Barrett gave a grin. “I’m sure we can find something nearby that will be suitable.” He stood then and crossed the room to shake Loudoun’s hand. “I keep losing my very best employees to marriage. But then again, a new generation of Maddox will be ready soon. We’ll have to make do.”

Loudoun stood too. “I’ll return to England with you to meet the rest of her family, but is it possible to marry before we leave? I find I don’t want to wait.” He wasn’t lying, but it would be best not to disclose that a child could possibly be on the way.

Barrett raised an eyebrow. “I’ll allow it. But I won’t help you when you face Chris and Alex.”

Loudoun straightened. “I’d rather face a whole army of men then cross an ocean without first making May mine.”

Barrett’s other eyebrow lifted. “I understand.”

A rustle behind him made him turn. May stood in the open doorway. “I was wondering where you two were. Have you had breakfast already? I find I am famished this morning.”

Loudoun’s body tightened with desire at the thought of why she was famished this morning. She looked so lovely in a simple morning gown with her hair loosely coifed. He could only pray that Barrett was correct and they would be happy together. Because he couldn’t be without her.

Today he would purchase a ring for her as a token of his commitment and affection. Tomorrow they’d begin planning the wedding.

15

May looked from Barrett to Lucius as she stood in the doorway. Something had just happened. Both men were shifty, fidgety, not making eye contact. What were they not telling her?

“Would anyone care to join me?” she asked, since they hadn’t answered her query.

“For what?” Barrett asked.

Loudoun simply stared at her intently.

She gave an exasperated sigh. “For breakfast.”

“Of course,” Loudoun finally answered. “Let me escort you.”

Barrett cleared his throat. “I have a great deal to do and I’ve already eaten.” Then he sat back down at the desk.

Turning, she started down the hall but within seconds Loudoun had caught up to her, his hand snaking around her waist. The other clasped her hand as he whisked her down the hall into an empty sitting room.

As soon as he snapped the door closed, he pulled her against him kissing her with a passion she hadn’t thought possible before breaking fast. It filled her with heat and excitement.

“Barrett has consented to our match.” He spoke between kisses.

“You asked him already?” she gasped. As soon as her mouth was open, his tongue licked across her lips to touch hers. She groaned with need.

“I love it when you make noises like that,” he whispered as he kissed a trail to her ear.

Her mind was becoming clouded. But there was a doubt niggling in the back of her thoughts and she needed to grasp it and voice it before it was too late. “Lucius, I am thrilled. But I have to ask. What has changed? You were adamant you wouldn’t marry.”

He pulled back a little and, taking her hand, led her back to the door. “We should get you something to eat.” He kissed her temple. “I told you last night. I want you and I can’t deny it anymore.”

That statement bounced around her thoughts all morning. There was something wrong with it, though she couldn’t quite pinpoint what it was.

A box arrived from the dressmaker’s. Bringing it up to her room, she pulled out the white gown she had ordered as a threat to Loudoun. She should have known then what he needed was kindness.

She’d have to try it on. What would Loudoun think when he saw her in it? Would he be overcome with lust? Would he declare his undying love?

In that moment she understood. She had murmured over and over the words of love as he had touched her. Kissed her. He’d only said that he wanted her. Heart pounding clutched the dress to her chest. What if he didn’t love her, all the while she was mad about him?

He told her his greatest fear was that he wouldn’t be able to give her enough? Was this what he was referring to?

She’d told him he was wrong. But what if he wasn’t? What if he never grew to love her and she gave away feelings that he never returned. Her heart twisted painfully.

Leaving the dress on the bed, she headed for the garden at the back of the property. She needed time to think before it was too late.

Stepping through the door, she began walking toward her favorite bench, the one she’d been using to read while they stayed.

Her head dropped to her hands. There was no choice to make really. She loved him, she sworn patience and she didn’t want to be married to anyone else.

But it made her ache a little to think about.

Sitting up, she took a ragged breath. She had to remain positive. Those feelings would come in time if she just loved him.

But she had no more thought it when arms wrapped around her, and a hand clamped around her mouth. Trying to scream, the sound was completely muffled.

Twisting, she searched for more men, sure the assailants from before had returned. But she saw no one and turning her head, she caught the profile of the man behind her. William Wurts Junior.

“Hold still now,” he gasped in her ear. His strong arms locked tighter around her. “I’m sorry about this but my father wants you in the family. He’ll be able to get what he needs out of the duke that way.”

She tried to protest but his hand muffled her words.

“You’re beautiful.” His lips were pressing to her ear. “I’m sure we can make a match work.”

She fought harder then as he started pulling her through the back gate towards an alley. A carriage came into view, parked with a driver sitting above. He looked petrified as his eyes landed on them.

Knowing if he wrestled her into that carriage, she’d never get away, her movements became frantic.

The elder Wurts stuck his head out the door and gave them his slimy smile. “Relax, my dear. We simply need to speak with you. Something your guardian would not allow.” He winked at her. “We thought it might be less frightening this time if we came for you ourselves.”

This time? The attackers’ words came back to her then. She’d been so focused on the fear she’d forgotten that they’d referred to delivering her to someone. Wurts had been behind it the entire time.

“He still won’t.” Loudoun growled from her right.

And then he was on them and his fist connected with Willy’s face. The man staggered and she was sure they would both fall but Loudoun spun her out of his arms and was carrying her at lightning speed back into the garden bellowing for help.

She wrapped her arms around him, holding him tight as servants began pouring out of the house. “Send word to the police,” he barked. “Find His Grace.”

Before the maid had even moved, Barrett came barreling out of the house. “What has happened?”

“Wurts and his son tried to steal her through the back gate. I only just arrived to find them.”

“Hold off on the police,” Barrett bellowed and he sprinted through the gate, motioning for a few of the stable hands to follow.

Loudoun stared after them for a moment, but she buried her head in his shoulder. “Stay with me.” She wanted to touch him, be near him. An understanding settled over her heart. Maybe he’d never tell her he loved her. But every time she needed him, he was there. Whether he was saving her or offering for her hand in marriage.

“Are you hurt?” he murmured gruffly.

“No, just frightened,” she replied.

He dropped his forehead to hers, capturing her lips in a kiss. “I’ll see that they pay for this mistake.”

“They were behind the last attempt too. Wurts admitted as much.” She shook her head. “To think I actually considered marrying him.”

He made a guttural noise deep in his throat. “I will tear him apart with my bare hands.”

She shook her head and then leaned her forehead against his chest. It didn’t matter when she was next to him like this. Here, she was safe. “You’ve done enough. I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t come.”

He whisked her into the house, swinging her into his arms. “It was pure chance.” He captured her lips again.

HE’D NEARLY LOST HER. His heart was still hammering in his chest. The other night, he’d been following, her, closing the gap. He’d seen the men stalking her and he’d, in turn, stalked them.

But today, he hadn’t seen Wurts coming at all. He’d simply come around the corner, on his way from the jewelers no less, to see Willy trying to stuff her into his carriage.

He’d like to have pounded his flesh several more times, but his fear had overridden his anger. Just getting her to safety had been all that mattered.

“I’m so fortunate to have you.” She kissed him as he put her feet back on the ground while still holding her in his arms.

The feel of her body sliding against his had his body humming with need and he pressed her closer to him. “No, love. I’m lucky to have you. I couldn’t--”

The door swung open. Barrett walked through, growling at Loudoun as his eyes raked up and down their embrace. “The Wurts are in your study. Shall we?”

Loudoun gave a nod. “I’ll escort May to her room then meet you there.”

Barrett frowned but nodded as he turned and left.

Five minutes later, he entered his study. William held a bloody cloth to his nose as he stood to the side while the elder Wurts sat in front of the desk.

Barrett, rather than being behind the desk, had stationed himself against the back wall. Loudoun raised his eyebrows, but for the first time since Barrett arrived, he took his seat behind the desk. The message was clear. He was in charge of this interaction, both on a personal and business level.

“I want you to tell me why I shouldn’t have the police here to arrest you.” His voice was deadly quiet as he allowed his eyes to do most of the talking.

Wurts senior cleared his throat. “William is so smitten with Miss Stanly that he had to try--”

“Try again,” Loudoun growled. William certainly found her attractive but not nearly as much so as the gaming tables. This was not about love.

“Are you accusing me of lying?” Wurts had paled but he held his ground.

Loudoun narrowed his eyes. “Even in America, our position within the peerage affords us luxuries other men don’t have. In this interaction we will be given the benefit of the doubt. Start giving me actual answers or I will beat them out of your son. Nothing would give me greater pleasure.”

William looked over the top of the cloth he was still holding to his bleeding nose. “No one is more aware of the position you hold than my father.”

“Ahh, I see. You hoped to tie your business and your family to His Grace’s so that you might enjoy the same benefits.” Loudoun looked both men up and down, his lip curling in disdain. “You’ll give us the contract. We will receive an increased margin of profit and in return, the police will not be involved. If you ever step in the same room as Miss Stanly, I will make sure that you don’t walk out of it.”

“What profit margin do you have in mind?” Wurts’s voice shook a little as he spoke.

“You’ll receive the papers this afternoon. I expect them back on my desk by this evening. If I don’t, the police will be by to personally collect them.” Loudoun wanted to toss them both in jail, it’s what they deserved. But, it would not be in the best interest of either him or Barrett, and most especially not May. He didn’t want her introduction to her new home to be as a witness for a kidnapping trial.

Wurts gave a nod and Willy continued to hold his nose. Both men rose, and Barrett stood, escorting them out the door.

He returned shortly. “Will it bother you if I have a drink?”

“Not at all,” Loudoun answered truthfully. Now that May was his, the urge to drink was completely gone. It had been May he’d craved all along.

Barrett looked at him. “You seemed to be struggling for a bit.”

“It turned out that what I wanted all along was May. She was what I craved. Now that I have her, my ship has righted, so to speak.”

“I’d say I would be worried for you but May will never give you reason to doubt. She has picked you and that girl is as loyal as she is stubborn. She should have been born a Maddox.”

Loudoun grinned. “You’ve made yourself a wonderful family. Thank you for allowing me to join it.”

“Seven years ago, or now?” Barrett winked at him. A most unexpected gesture. “I wouldn’t have helped you if I didn’t think you had true merit. And that made you family then.”

Loudoun swallowed. He realized that all this time, Barrett had been like a father to him too, much the way he’d been to May. “You’ve done so much for me.”

“I know you’re smart enough to see people for what they are. If you open your heart to the ones who are good inside, no matter what is on the surface, you will see how much your own life benefits. I have gained so much since I let Piper into my heart. You, May, my other friends, they only make my life better. Remember that, Loudoun. You remind me so much of myself. If you can really let them in, there is so much that will be returned to you.”

He swallowed. He knew it was true and he believed that he must open his heart to May, if no one else. “Thank you, Barret. I will do my best.”

16

Loudoun waited till the house was quiet. He needed to see May, hold her in his arms. He needed to slip his ring on her finger, and he wanted to do it privately.

Striding down the hall, he headed for her room, a grin lighting his face as he saw candlelight flickering under her doorway. She was awake.

He knocked softly and then called her name, “May.”

In seconds, she had the door open, grinning at him as she threw her arms around his neck, pulling him into the room.

He managed to close the door behind him with one hand as the other arm wrapped around her waist to crush him to her chest. It had only been a few hours since they had been at dinner but he ached for her company, her smell, the feel of her pressed against him. “I couldn’t stay away.”

“I’m glad you didn’t,” she murmured against his lips. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too, sweetheart. When I am here with you, I know you’re safe. I’m afraid after we’re married, I might not let you out of my sight.”

She giggled against his lips and then gasped as his hand travelled down the small of her back to grasp her bottom and hold her close. “What will we do with all that time together?”

His other hand started pulling up the hem of her night rail, his fingers tickling the bare flesh of her legs, travelling from her calf to her knee and up her thigh. “There are so many possibilities.”

She pulled back then, as his hand was reaching the apex of her thighs. “I know there are many women who admire you…” she trailed off looking away.

He cocked his head to the side as he assessed her. “What does that have to do with anything? No women are trying to kidnap me.”

But she moaned rather than answer as his finger lightly brushed the delicate folds of her flesh. He longed to plunge into them but her pleasure had become more important than his own.

“It’s difficult to argue with a truth like that.” Her breath hitched as he increased the pressure. “But what if you grow tired of me?” And then she truly pulled away, putting a few feet between them as she leaned against the bed post.

“Oh May,” he whispered coming up behind her, kissing her neck. “I’ll never grow tired of you. I love you. You are everything to me.”

She twisted to look at him then, hope and love shining in her eyes. “Do you mean it?”

“Of course, I do, my love.” His hands pulled the hem of her night gown back up. “Let me show you how much.”

His hand wrapped around the front of her and as one began to fondle her still covered breast, the other reached under her night rail to cup her mound. She moaned then as he used the heel of his hand to place pressure on her sensitive bud with slow circles.

Slipping one finger inside her, he continued to work her as her body tightened around him. But he wasn’t done yet. Slowly, he bent her over the bed until she was on her hands and knees, night rail up around her waist. Then he began to lick her as his fingers moved in and out. Her moaning grew loud and fast and her muscles clenched around him till she shattered for him in a way that had him pulsing with need.

Before her body could even calm he was unlacing his breeches and grasping her hips, and he thrust into her. His hand came around to once again work her nub as her body pitched against him and he knew neither of them would last for very long.

As she cried his name his own climax broke through him and they collapsed in a heap onto the bed.

He pulled her close and as she nestled into his side she murmured, “I love you too. Always.” And then she was asleep.

IN THE EARLY morning rays of the sun, he woke, knowing he needed to slip back to his room. He thought about waking her, but she looked so lovely sleeping there. Her hair tumbled around them both and her face was soft in her sleep. Slipping out of her arms, he placed a light kiss on her temple. Then, reaching into his discarded jacket, he pulled out a box. Setting it under her outstretched hand he slipped on his clothes and headed out of the room.

MAY WOKE REACHING FOR LOUDOUN, only to find him gone. But in his place sat a box. Curling her fingers around it, she sat up and flipped open the lid. A sparkling diamond ring met her gaze along with a note carefully folded up and tucked in the back.

Setting the ring aside, her trembling fingers unfolded the vellum.

MY DEAREST MAY,

IT IS difficult for me to always find the words but never forget that I will love you forever. Please accept this ring as a token of my affection so that when you look upon it, you will remember how I feel for you. Though I will do my best to never let you forget.

YOURS,

Lucius.

Her eyes teared up as she clutched the note to her chest. Jumping out of bed, she raced across the room to wash and dress, eager to go down to breakfast so that she might see Lucius. She pulled the cord to summon her maid and then went to her vanity to begin brushing her hair.

With a cry, she realized she’d forgotten to put on the ring. It was stunning, and she loved it, but the note had been the real gift and she’d likely read it a thousand times before the words didn’t make her heart flutter.

Once ready, she practically skipped down the hall, holding her skirts as her feet barely touched the thick carpet.

The note was tucked against the skin of her chest and the ring sparkled on her finger.

She rounded the corner of the breakfast room, grinning like a fool but she didn’t care.

With a start, she stopped in the doorway. Before her stood Piper, Chris and Lizzie alongside of Barrett and Lucius. No one looked happy.

Lucius’s face was pinched and stoic while Chris appeared furious. Both Piper and her cousin Lizzie had worry lines etching their faces. Only Barrett appeared relaxed, wearing his usual look of indifference.

Chris rounded on her and she tried to put her happy smile back on her face. “How wonderful to see all of you.”

Lizzie had been her caregiver for much of her life and when she’d married Chris, he’d taken on the mantel of guardian. Of course, as Chris had only inherited the title of earl, it was Barrett who had seen to her introduction into society. The two men had shared the role of father figure and she loved them both dearly. “And you as well,” Chris’ tone did not match his words. They were clipped and his eyes narrowed. “We’ve missed you terribly and wisely decided we could not be parted from you any longer.”

She crossed the room and gave each of her family a hug, ignoring Chris’s implication that his presence was needed. “How was the journey?”

“Dreadful,” Chris groused as his eyebrows drew together. “And I am not much looking forward to the return trip but obviously it’s what must be done.”

Lizzie gasped, “Christopher.”

May’s hands shot to her hips, fear and irritation beginning to bubble inside of her. If Chris thought she would leave now, he was sorely mistaken. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“You’re not staying here and certainly not to marry this heathen of an earl,” he shot back.

Barrett let out a low growl. “I’ve already approved--”

“Twas not your right!” Chris exploded. “I am her guardian. I should never have let you go gallivanting off with her. Your desire to make her a member of the peerage is clouding your judgement.”

The unfairness of the claim washed through her. Both she and Barrett knew Loudoun’s true merit.

“You take a step back,” Barrett voice was deadly quiet as he glared at his longtime friend.

“Please,” Loudoun stepped in between them. “You’re angry with me, not him.”

“Damn right I am,” Chris roared as he took a swing at Loudoun. “You’re a drunk. I’ve heard the stories. A womanizer and a ne’er do well is all you are.”

Loudoun easily dodged the punch. He was fifteen years younger than Chris and in excellent shape. But he made no move to counter attack as Chris swung again.

Loudoun was backing away from the others as Chris followed, trying to make contact with a blow. Once they had moved around the table, Loudoun stopped and Chris swung again landing a punch on Loudoun’s cheek that sent him crashing to the ground. May stood not five feet from them and she screamed as he fell.

Ignoring the sound, Chris stepped above Loudoun and raised his fist as if to hit him again.

May hurtled herself across the room and over his body as Chris’s fist came down in a straight line. She knew it was going to hurt but she couldn’t let Chris hit Loudoun again on her account.

Squeezing her eyes shut, she braced for the impact, and she heard the sick sound of flesh hitting flesh. Her eyes flew back open to see Loudoun holding Chris’s fist in his hand their grip no more than an inch from her face. “Move back,” he barked at Chris.

Chris’s face was ashen as he followed the command and May was stunned beyond speaking. “May,” he whispered.

“If you’ve need to hit me further, we shall step outside. I won’t swing back.” Loudoun was on his feet and so was she, though she had absolutely no idea how he’d gotten them both upright so quickly. He was tucking her behind him. “But you will not do anything that will endanger May.” He stepped closer to Chris. “I won’t have it.”

He cocked his head back to look at her and she could see that his cheek was already turning purple and May stepped up behind him to brush her fingers along the bruise. He grasped her fingers and kissed them. “Are you all right?”

“I am fine. It’s you I am worried about,” she murmured as she pressed her face into his back.

“You’re in love,” Chris stated, his voice flat and his eyes wide with shock.

“Yes,” Loudoun answered for them both. “I don’t blame you for thinking I am a poor choice. If my daughter brought a man like me home, I’d try to kill him too. But I love May, and I’ll do my best to care for her each and every day.”

Barrett stepped up then, clapping Chris on the back. “I’ll take your apology whenever you are ready to give it.”

A blush crept into Chris’s cheeks. May had never seen it before. “I was guilty of many of the sins I just accused you of before I met Lizzie. There is no better medicine for men like us other than a good woman.”

“Truer words,” Barrett grinned as he turned to pull his wife, Piper, into his embrace. “Now, let’s celebrate. Since you’re here, I feel much better about having this wedding post haste. Then we can all return to England, even you two.” He pointed at them and May grinned. Poor Loudoun. He’d gone from no father to multiple father-in-laws. “I know you’ll make your home here but I’d like to establish a pattern of visiting often.”

Loudoun gave a jerky nod. “What about the railroad deal?””

“You’ll get it done, even half a world away. I happen to know you are a determined man when you want to be.”

May grinned. He was indeed. Luckily for her, she was too, otherwise she might have given up.

EPILOGUE

May looked up at the dusky pink canopy of the bed and grinned to herself. The gentle swaying of the boat was near lulling her back to sleep as was the warm body of her husband pressed against her back.

They’d been married days before, and were now crossing the Atlantic to visit the rest of her family in England.

“Are you awake?” His husky voice feathered across her ear.

“Partly,” she grinned as she answered. “Someone kept me up well into the night and I am terribly sleepy.”

He chuckled, his hand moving up her side, skimming along her skin, sending shivers racing through her body. “I’d like to keep you up all morning too.”

Her breath caught, “It’s a good think we have our own ship. I wouldn’t have seen my family anyway,” she giggled as she turned her head to capture his lips.

“A wonderful gift indeed,” he grinned as he kissed her. “But a selfish one. He simply doesn’t want us to have an excuse not to visit him.”

She turned in his arms then, pressing her body to his. “Is my family terribly difficult for you?”

“I love that you have family. It will be wonderful.” His kisses grew longer, harder. “But it will be nice to live on a different continent entirely.”

A laugh burst from her chest. “You don’t want to move back to England?”

He grimaced but he her kissed slowly, lovingly. “I would for you, love.”

Wrapping her arms around his neck, she inhaled his scent. “I want to stay in America with you. That’s always been my dream.”

He pressed her closer. “Lady Loudoun, do you always get your way?”

Her breathing was coming in shorter gasps, but she tried to concentrate on their conversation. “Not always,” she breathed.

“Name one time that you haven’t.” He began kissing down her neck, and rolling her onto her back, began kissing lower.

“How could I think of anything with your lips upon me like that?” she bit back a moan, her body heating.

He chuckled then, slowing the pace. “I only fear it, because I won’t be able to deny you anything. Perhaps we should return to England just so Chris and Barrett can help me keep you in check. You’ll run roughshod over me.”

“You wouldn’t dare.” She giggled then. “Besides, once you put Alex in the mix, they never agree on anything. I often win by default.”

He sat up, looking down at her, his eyes twinkling. “I think I should be worried.” His lips come back to hers then. “But I can’t seem to make myself. I love you, May. Whatever I have is yours for the taking.”

She rubbed her nose to his, then reaching to the side table bolted to the ships wall, she pulled out the note he had written to her. “All I ever wanted was this. Your love is all I will ever need.” Their lips met again as their passion began climbing.

“I am yours, forever,” he spoke against her lips.

“And I am yours. I have been for the longest time and I will be always.”

No more words were needed as their bodies twined together.

CHECK OUT MY NEW SERIES!

More books from the Taming the Heart Series will be coming soon!! But in the meantime, here is a sneak peak from Tammy’s new series, A Laird to Love. The first book in the series, My Enemy My Earl will release in January 2018!

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http://tammyandresen.com

MY ENEMY MY EARL

Lord Ewan McDougal took a deep breath of Scottish air as he trotted down the rutted road toward Kirkcaldy. It was so good to be back in his home country. Even with the misting rain, the fresh smell of spring flowers lifted his spirits. With any luck, he’d never step foot on soil that wasn’t Scottish again.

He doubted he’d ever have need to traipse over Europe or Asia after the war, so there was no real danger there, but England was another matter entirely. A Scot could get sucked onto English land despite his best intentions not to. And he had no intention of ever touching that country again.

Or any of its people, for that matter.

Do ye think we’ll be able to stop soon? I’m peckish.” Kieran McKenna grumbled next to him.

Ewan glared at his longtime companion and friend. They’d grown up together on neighboring parcels of land, had been drafted together, and had returned changed together. Kieran was like his tartan, he was rarely seen without the other man. “We just ate.”

Aye, but it’s raining.” Kieran looked as though his point ought to have been obvious.

So what?” Ewan gave him a look of bewilderment. “It’s Scotland. It’s always raining.”

After years of being cold and hungry, I’ve no tolerance for either.” Kieran shrugged.

It was difficult to argue with that. There were a lot of things he had no tolerance for after years of war. Loud noises near stole his sanity. He couldn’t stand the English, for example, who’d drafted him in the first place. And his ruined land, bare after five years of neglect. That drove him mad but at least his land he could repair. That was why he needed to get to Kirkaldy. From there it was a short ride to third cousin, Hamish McDougal’s castle. “You know I’ve got a bride to meet.”

Will she marry someone else if it takes an extra day?” Kieran wagged his eyebrows. “Besides, you know you’re devilish handsome. She’ll likely fall right into yer arms.”

Kieran wasn’t wrong. Women had long given him attention. Though Kieran was the more classically handsome man with his straight nose and piercing eyes, Ewan had always had a masculine look to which women responded. “It’s not that. You ken as well as anyone my land is in shambles. I need to marry to put it back together. Winter is comin’.”

It’s only spring.” Kieran winked. “But I know ye be wantin’ a lovely little Scottish lass with a nice full…dowry.”

Ewan tried not growl at his friend’s crass words. Although they were at least partly true. Fiona, his perspective bride, did come with a dowry and that coin would be verra helpful in repairing his lands. Fiona was a strong Scot woman, which would also come in handy.

They’d last seen each other ten years before, when she was but a child. She’d had a penchant for practical jokes, which had near driven him mad, but surely she’d grown out of that by now.

UP AHEAD HE spotted a carriage stopped and tilting precariously to one side. The driver was down on his knees in the muck attempting to repair the wheel. Poor sod.

Next to him stood a hooded figure with flowing skirts that had been sucked into the muck. He grimaced. The side of the road was no place for any lass to be. Especially not on a day like this.

I’m all for helpin’ women in need but it’s rainin’ harder still. We should keep movin’.” Kieran frowned more deeply. “Ye’re not going to stop are ye?”

The question did not dignify an answer. Dismounting, he led his horse toward the stranded travelers. As a soldier, he’d learned it was less intimidating when he approached on foot. Especially considering his height and the breadth of his shoulders. He frightened on horseback.

The driver looked up with a wary eye but Ewan offered him a smile. “Is it help ye be needin’?”

Aye, that’d be right nice.” The driver nodded.

You can go back in the carriage if ye like, lass.” Ewan gave her what he hoped was an sympathetic smile but he heard her huff her breath almost like it annoyed her that he’d said it.

If it’s all the same to you, I’ll stay,” she answered from under the hood, annoyance lacing her lilting voice.

Never mind that he admired a woman with enough pluck to stand out in the rain to fix a wheel. Something Kieran wasn’t willing to do, apparently. Or that she stayed even when she didn’t have to.

Her accent was English.

Dinna trouble yerself, lass.” The driver reached out to pat her like a child.

Ewan nodded his agreement. “I know an English woman like yerself doesn’t do this kind of thing normally.”

How would you know what I can or can’t do?”

He could just see her mouth below the edge of the hood. Perfect, full pink lips turned down into a frown.

Why had he thought words like perfect and full when he should be thinking ones like conniving and wretched? Wasn’t that what all the English were? Everyone he’d met when abroad at war certainly had been. Pushing the Scots to the front of the line to die in droves.

He was tempted to climb on his horse and keep riding. Kieran would be happy, anyway. Because he was not here to help the English. “An English miss fixing a wheel?”

He heard her hiss of breath. “Why not?”

Because the English are arrogant and entitled while still managing to be useless, because…

He knew he must be glaring at that remark and so, instead of answering, he turned away and looked at the wheel. The driver had a few broken spokes.

I don’t dare drive on a road this rutted with the wheel compromised and I always keep some extras. But I can’t quite get them in. Lady Clarissa was attempting to help me, which was greatly appreciated, but we’re not strong enough, the two of us. Your arms might just do the trick.” The driver gave him a wink.

Brawny men are good for something, I suppose,” she mumbled in her haughty English accent that managed to make his strength and size sound like a detriment. His frown deepened. Worse than the insult, she was a lady. An unmarried one at that. He’d have to be careful not to give his own title or risk being hunted.

English ladies were always after unmarried titles. I didn’t seem to matter whether the man was honorable, rich, or kind, as long as he was titled.

He wasn’t just given to making false claims. It had actually been his experience. The ladies of London hadn’t paid him a lick of attention, well not that kind of attention, until he’d been awarded a title for his service. Then he’d been relentlessly pursued by young misses and their mamas. It had been an eye-opening experience that had made his ache for his own country even greater.

What is wrong with brawny men? Ye seem to be needin’ one right about now.” He knew it didn’t matter what she thought, but something about this woman was getting under his skin. He knelt down and the spokes popped easily into place. From this vantage point, he could see more of her face. Creamy skin and a pert little nose peeked out from under the hood.

They are often dim-witted and miraculously full of themselves,” she huffed.

He stood, now covered in a fair bit of mud himself. He was used to women blushing and smiling at him. Complimenting his strength, not insulting it. He brushed his dark, overlong hair behind his ears and looked at the English lass. “And English misses often think they ken everythin’ about everythin’. You don’t ken a thing about me.”

Part of him wanted to tell her he was an Earl as well as a decorated war hero. She should be falling at his feet not frowning at him. But he gave himself a mental shake. He didn’t care what this woman thought of him.

She, in turn, stared fixedly at him. Though the hood covered them, he could feel her eyes on him and it made his insides tighten in the strangest way. Near nervous or excited. When was the last time a woman had affected him so?

I know your type, can’t even take the time to shave your face or lace your shirt,” she bit back, her hand coming to her hip. It parted the opening of her cape and revealed part of her rather luscious bosom. He sucked in his breath.

He should get on his horse and go. But, if he were honest, she was damn interesting. Like a sharp-tongued beautiful fairy or a...he stopped his train of thought. What the bloody hell was he thinking?

The door popped open and a pretty, petite blond stuck her head out. She was a curvy woman who would make some man happy, but her face still held the innocence of a lass, not acquainted with the world. In a single look, he liked her immensely. She gave him a sweet smile then turned to the lady. “Did they fix it, Clarissa?”

Slowly, delicate hands rose to the rim of the hood. Brushing back the folds, her deep, glossy, dark brown tresses tumbled in a lose coif down her back.

Large grey-blue eyes looked at him with a vulnerability that near made him ache in places he’d thought long dead. Her expression was in stark contrast to her hissing words. As were her pink cheeks and plump sweet lips, which seem to tremble slightly as though she were nervous or afraid. Likely she was only cold, but some part of him wanted to shield her from whatever made them shake.

They did.” Her voice was like honey, smooth and sweet unlike when she’d spoken to him.

His eyes locked with hers. That was how the English trapped a Scot. Pretty and seemingly harmless, a man didn’t even see them stealing his future ‘til it was too late.

* * *

Clarissa assessed the Scottish brute in front of her. She didn’t like him. Not even a little. It didn’t matter that he had brawny muscles and piercing green eyes. Or that he stopped to help stranded travelers.

First, there was the fact that he’d insulted her English roots. She wouldn’t even bother to tell him she was half Scot. Then there was the careless way his shirt was untied at the top, his overlong dark hair, his casual stance with one hand slung low on his hip to accentuate how much smaller they were than his broad chest. His red tartan exposed his knees in an altogether indecent way. His face had a rugged set, with his Roman nose and prominent cheekbones. Men that handsome were always up to no good. Past experience had taught her this and it was a lesson she wouldn’t soon forget.

His strong jaw flexed as he gave her an assessing look. His interest was written all over his face. As if she’d needed more proof that he was a rake. She’d learn to spot the type anywhere, and now that she knew them, she vowed to stay far, far away.

But she supposed some measure of gratitude was in order. Trying to keep her disdain out of her voice, she mumbled, “Thank you for helping us, sir.” She gave a small curtsey and then started shaking out her skirt in an attempt to remove some of the mud before climbing back into the carriage. Fortunately, their exchange was nearly over.

Ye’re welcome,” he answered in a deep rich brogue before stepping closer.

Without another word he reached for her skirt and she straightened, stiffening from shock. He wasn’t going to…he wouldn’t dare…but he did. He knelt down beside her and grabbed her skirt, and holding it out, began deftly removing the mud. “Sir,” she gasped.

It’s Ewan. Ewan McDougal. Now turn.” His gruff words weren’t frightening. But her breathing was coming out in short gasps. The heat from his body had her own growing warmer. He started working on a new section of gown.

She stared at him unable to believe this was actually happening. As he spun her again, her foot hit a rut in the road and she bobbled, just a little. His hand shot out to her hip to steady her. An ache deep inside her throbbed at his touch. She gasped, her hands coming to his shoulders to right the now-tilting world. But that only made it worse. They were broad and muscular and for moment, she had the feeling they could shield her from the world. “Please stop,” she begged.

It’s raining, ye ken?” He looked up at her as though she were dull in the mind.

I am aware.” She tried to straighten her shoulders but the rain was worsening and they hunched back down without permission, curled closer to him and the warmth he exuded.

Then turn around so that I can git the back.” He gave her skirt a little tug to turn her.

Huffing, she turned, his brisk words bringing her to her senses. Agnes stared at her openmouthed as he worked off the mud. Fortunately, no one else was here to see this, though she hardly had any reputation left to preserve, so it wouldn’t really have mattered.

Looking down, she had to admit he had done an admirable job of removing the muck. She would be warmer for it on this last leg of the journey. “Thank you,” she murmured over her shoulder. Only a rake would touch her so but at least she would be more comfortable for his efforts.

He stood and nodded. “Get yerself in that carriage now before ye catch yer death. Scotland is a lot colder than ye’re likely used to.”

How did he make that sound like an insult? Not that it mattered, it didn’t a wit. She’d likely never see him again, and good riddance. “How could you possibly know what I am used to?”

Without another word, she climbed into the carriage and snapped the door shut.

Who was that?” Agnes bounced a little on her seat. Agnes was her cousin from her father’s side and her travelling companion on this journey along with Agnes’s mother, Mrs. Judith Faulkenberry. Her parents would have accompanied her but she hadn’t wanted them to. Closing her eyes, she pushed angry thoughts of them away. She’d be with her Scottish relatives soon, and Agnes and Aunt Judith were the best possible company.

Her father’s sister was a proper English lady from her perfectly coiffed grey hair to her never-wrinkled gown. Agnes’ enthusiasm wore her out. Though her cousin was about to turn eighteen, she flitted like a butterfly everywhere she went.

Aunt Judith had used the time while they were fixing the wheel and not bouncing about, to take a short rest. But Agnes’s enthusiasm had roused the woman. “Do stop, dear,” she mumbled to Agnes.

Clarissa rolled her eyes, trying to exude a casualness she didn’t feel. “I don’t know, some Scot.” She didn’t want them to know that the man’s touch had sent her world tilting wildly.

You should have seen him brushing off her skirts, Mother. And his name was Ewan,” she imitated his deep voice. “Ewan McDougal.” Then she tapped her chin. “Say, you don’t think he’s related to your mother, do you?”

Probably. Some distant cousin. But there are likely a thousand of them.” She waved her hand, brushing the unpleasant thought away that she might have to see him again. Because she never wanted to see those broad shoulders and green eyes as long as she lived.

He brushed your skirts?” her aunt repeated, sitting straighter in her seat.

He was being a gentleman, Mother. Helping with the mud.” Agnes nodded.

Clarissa didn’t respond but she thought it was unlikely to have been an act of chivalry. More probably he was just exercising his rakish ways touching her like that.

She shook her skirts out around her to aid in their drying. “We’re likely never to see him again so let us not dwell on it. He did manage to fix the wheel so we’ll be out of this carriage—”

And into a drafty old castle—” Aunt Judith huffed.

In no time.” Clarissa finished.

Do you think it’s haunted?” Agnes clapped looking excited. They’d spent most of their time in the country so Agnes was constantly seeking adventure.

Why would you even ask that?” Aunt Judith sniffed. She straightened her already smooth skirt.

But Clarissa held back a grin. Agnes’s enthusiasm and zest had carried her through the past month and she loved her cousin for it. It wasn’t the ideal temperament for a lady of London, but as a friend, it was divine.

We’ll ask Fiona, Emilia, and Ainsley.” Clarissa smiled. “I bet they’ll help us hunt.”

Clarissa, don’t encourage her.” Aunt Judith crossed her arms.

How fun.” Agnes gave her a winning grin that lit her face in the most beautiful way. Already an attractive girl, she radiated happiness.

Clarissa was looking forward to visiting her mother’s family too. But not for ghost hunts. This place had always been her safe haven, her cousins were people with whom she could be herself. She needed that now.

Leaning her head against the frame of the carriage, she glanced through the shutters. The carriage lurched forward, finally moving again. She could see the brawny Scot, Ewan McDougal, riding alongside the other man, who had stayed on horseback. He looked devilishly good. Another reason to despise rakes. Their handsome charm masked a devious heart.

ALSO BY TAMMY ANDRESEN

Taming the Heart Series

Taming a Duke’s Reckless Heart

Taming Duke’s Wild Rose

Taming a Laird’s Wild Lady

Taming a Rake into a Lord

Taming a Savage Gentleman

Fairfield Fairy Tales

Stealing a Lady’s Heart

Hunting for a Lady’s Heart

American Historical Romance

Lily in Bloom

Midnight Magic

The Golden Rules of Love

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Tammy Andresen lives with her husband and three children just outside of Boston, Massachusetts. She grew up on the Seacoast of Maine, where she spent countless days dreaming up stories in blueberry fields and among the scrub pines that line the coast. Her mother loved to spin a yarn and Tammy filled many hours listening to her mother retell the classics. It was inevitable that at the age of 18, she headed off to Simmons College, where she studied English literature and education. She never left Massachusetts but some of her heart still resides in Maine and her family visits often.

For more information:

@tammyandresen
authortammyandresen
www.tammyandresen.com
tammyandresen@gmail.com