Heart of a Highlander
Author: Tammy Andresen
Date: 2018-02-06 08:00:00+00:00
Keywords: Romance
Description: Will a spark between two childhood friends light into a flame… Lady Fiona McDougal embodies the wild spirit of Scotland, untamed and free. If only her future could be the same, but she is bound by duty to marry well for the sake of the title. As her heart and necessity battle only one answer arrises time and again, Colin Campbell. But he is the one man who refuses to court her. Colin has loved Fiona for as long as he can remember. Her fiery spirit and matching hair, fill him with a warmth that no other woman can match. But Colin's father has long made him promise that he will choose a wife for

Table of Contents

- Prologue
- Chapter 1
- Chapter 2
- Chapter 3
- Chapter 4
- Chapter 5
- Chapter 6
- Chapter 7
- Chapter 8
- Chapter 9
- Chapter 10
- Chapter 11
- Chapter 12
- Chapter 13
- Chapter 14
- Chapter 15
- Epilogue
- Prologue
- Chapter 1

Heart of a Highlander

A Laird to Love

Tammy Andresen

Copyright © 2018 by Tammy Andresen

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

Created with Vellum

Contents

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Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Epilogue

A Scot’s Surrender

Prologue

Chapter 1

Other Titles by Tammy

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Prologue

Lowlands of Scotland 1836

Colin Campbell stood just outside his father’s darkened room. At five years old, he’d learned the difference between real sickness and one of his father’s fits, as his mother liked to call them. His brother, Shamus, who was seven, stood next to him.

“He’s sad again,” Shamus whispered.

“I ken,” Colin hissed back, tired of his brother thinking he knew everything because he was two years older.

“It’s because of me ma,” Shamus looked down to the floor as he said it.

Colin nodded, his anger melting away. No one discussed it outside the house, but everyone inside the house knew. Shamus’s mother had died during childbirth. Colin’s mother was from the village. Not that she was just a farm girl. She had family in the Highlands that owned land, but her father had made his living on the sea. She’d been hired to care for Shamus and had quickly become the lady of the house. But after seven years, the elder Campbell still grieved the loss of his first wife. It was the worst near Shamus’s birthday. “I wonder what she looked like,” Colin pondered aloud. There were no pictures of her anywhere in the estate. Colin assumed they made his father too sad.

“Like me, of course.” Shamus’ face was set into hard lines. Colin wanted to argue that Shamus looked exactly like their father but he had learned not to touch such subjects. Most of the time, his father was a man to be admired. Strong and handsome, even the Earl of Ravenscraig would seek his counsel. But during these fits, his father slipped away leaving nothing but a shell.

“Colin,” his father called from the bed. “Come here, lad.”

With heavy feet, Colin moved into the room. He hated that his father wanted to talk with him during these times. The conversation was always the same and he had no idea what to say.

“Son.” His father called him over to the bed

“Yes, Da,” he replied in a quiet voice. It was required of him to be polite, attentive.

Waving his hand, his father called him closer. “I want to talk wit’ ye.”

“All right.” His feet slowed even more, dread weighing him down.

His father lifted his head and shifted to a sitting position. “Come closer.”

Hope rose in Colin’s chest and he quickened his pace. His father was sitting. He never sat up during these talks. Perhaps this time would be different.

“Don’t make the same mistake I made, Colin.” His father’s voice was raspy from lack of use. Colin’s hopes fell. This was how it always started.

“All right, Da.” He’d say anything to make sure this conversation ended as quickly as possible.

Colin was close to his father now and the older man pulled his son in for a hug. “If ye marry, don’t get swept away by love and passion. It will break yer heart, Colin. Marry a woman like yer mother the first time. Strong, capable, and able to bear ye children. I made a mistake marryin’ Elswith. That mistake, it took her life.”

“Yes, Da.” Colin was retreating again, his breath heaving from his chest. He didn’t want to hear these words. He could sense just under the surface that his mother was less in his father’s eyes even as his father vouched that she was the better choice. Even at his age, Colin could understand. His father had married for love the first time and it had broken his heart. Had it really taken Elswith’s life?

It didn’t sit right, what his father had said. He wanted to go run by the loch, forget the words, and forget the feelings.

Jumping on the back of his pony, he rode bareback, not wanting to bother with a saddle. It took too long and without one, he felt truly free. He wasn’t supposed to go this far without a chaperone, but then again no one seemed to notice what he did when his father had taken to bed.

Skirting around the ridge on the south side, he came up to edge of the water, where the land was open and gently sloped down into the loch. As soon as the view widened, he saw the Earl of Ravenscraig, Haggis McDougal, sitting on the water’s edge with his eldest two daughters, Fiona and Emilia; the third girl, Ainsley, was just an infant and likely still at home.

He didn’t pay too much attention to Emilia as a general rule. She was still too young in his eyes and a quiet little one at that. But Fiona, with her shock of red hair and her willingness to do whatever the boys did, she had become his best friend. Though her love of teasing occasionally made them enemies. But that was fun in its own way and so Colin frequently sought her out. Whatever mood she was in, it was always interesting.

She skipped toward him now, eyeing his pony. “I can ride bareback too, ye ken.”

“Not as good as me,” he called back, his worries already falling away at the thought of a game. Fiona did that. Distracted him from the sadness.

“Better,” she grinned back, her hair flouncing behind her, glinting in the sun. Colin didn’t give most lasses a second thought but Fiona was different. She was his friend. Maybe it was because of that fact that he wanted to touch that flaming red hair, to see what it felt like.

He swung down from the pony, landing on the opposite side from the water so the animal blocked him from the earl’s sight. Fiona joined him and he handed her the reins. “My da is sad again.”

Fiona, who had been about to swing on the pony’s back, stopped, her eyes sympathetic as she turned to him. “That’s too bad.”

“Fiona,” he started. “Can I touch yer hair?”

She shrugged. “Sure. But I don’t ken why ye’d want to.”

“I like the color. It’s like a warm fire,” he whispered as he held the end of the braid in his hand, silky to the touch and making him feel warm inside. “I think it would cheer anyone who was sad.”

She gave him a smile. “That’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said about my hair.”

“Do ye think love is bad?” he asked, not caring that the two thoughts likely didn’t make sense to Fiona. But he couldn’t hold the question in any longer.

She shrugged. “Why would it be? My da tells my mum he loves her every day.”

He nodded, feeling relieved. Maybe his father was wrong. Maybe it was just the sadness. People could love and not be hurt. But what if his father was right?

“Fiona, what are ye doin’ back there? No ridin’ that pony now, ye’ll wrinkle yer dress,” the earl called from the shore.

Colin peeked around to see Emilia sitting dutifully next to him.

Fiona swung up onto the pony and gave him a wicked smile. “Count how long it takes me to get to the ridge, and do it right. No cheating.” Then she kicked the pony and off she went. He stopped thinking about his da or love. Counting, he watched Fiona’s flaming red hair fly in the wind.

Chapter 1

Lady Fiona McDougal sat in the carriage with her hands clenched in fists. Outside, the beautiful Scottish scenery rolled by fresh with the dew of spring, but it wasn’t the same peeking at it through a small wood-framed window. She should be out there, wind in her hair, horse underneath her as she took in the splendor that was her home.

But her father had insisted she be more ladylike on this trip. More to the point, he wanted her to act like a lady so that she might marry a respectable Scotsman. They were travelling to a summit of lairds, many of them with eligible sons. She’d known most of these men her entire life, and she knew she didn’t want any of them.

It made her furious just thinking about it.

Her father told her over and over, “Ye’re inheriting a title. How can ye not find a husband?” As though it was some flaw of hers that was the issue.

He’d even brought suitors back to Ravenscraig, but she’d rejected each one. The truth was she just hadn’t wanted any of them. And while her father talked of titles, duty, and responsibility, her heart called for love and passion. The kind that ran wild and free.

She’d only ever wanted one man with such absolute abandon. Colin Campbell.

Well not now, of course. Now she didn’t want him at all. In fact, now she never wanted to see him as long as she lived. Because he was an arse. No, more like a wolf. No, wolves were too regal. He was a hog without regard to others’ feelings or wants. He was just merrily wallowing in mud.

He was also her oldest and best friend. They had played as children, teased and competed. But somewhere along the way her feelings had changed. The old excitement was there, of course. The thrill of racing horses or swimming across the loch, but a new energy had infused their relationship. It was a longing that had filled her. An ache to be with him, to touch him.

She didn’t know when her own emotions had shifted but she knew exactly when everything changed between them. It was the night they’d been alone in the barn. Heat flushed her cheeks as she remembered what had happened.

He knew she went out for night rides. Her father had a suitor there at the house, the Earl of Dumfries. She’d wanted to escape her family, the social responsibilities. Not that Dumfries had been pursuing her. In fact, he was actively pursuing her cousin.

She tried to explain all this to Colin but he seemed determined to be angry. It was so unlike him, that it perplexed her to no end. When he’d arrived in the barn, she could tell something was different. He’d seemed irritated, heated. “Where’s yer beau? Why isn’t he riding with ye?”

She’d huffed at him then. “What’s the matter with ye? Only my father thinks he’s my beau.”

“Yer saying he isn’t courtin’ ye?” Colin was steadily moving closer.

“I suppose he is. But Ewan really wants—”

Colin interrupted her. “It’s Ewan now, is it?”

“He wants Clarissa, Colin. He’s as smitten as a man can be.” She rolled her eyes then as he’d come to stand directly in front of her.

“So yer not marryin’ him? Because love and marriage often have little to do with one another.”

What was he taking about? But she forgot to ask as his hand reached up to touch her braid. As he stood in front of her in the dim light of the barn, he’d made her feel soft inside as he lightly caressed her hair. He’d filled her with a yearning she didn’t understand but experienced more and more often in his presence. Alone in the near dark, she wanted to touch him too. She’d wanted that a great deal lately, and it was getting harder to resist.

She was jarred back to the present when the carriage hit a bump and she was near thrown off the seat. She let out a curse, tired of being trapped. She banged against the door to vent her frustration. Her father rapped back. “Behave, Fiona. Ye’ve run out of chances.”

Her teeth gritted. It was Colin’s fault her father was so angry.

Because she’d stopped holding back. And there, in the barn, she’d reached out and placed her hand on his chest. Heat had spread through her hand, down her arm, and to the juncture of her legs. “Ye shouldn’t be here,” she’d whispered.

“Why not?” He’d stepped closer then, his other hand coming to her waist. “We’ve been riding like this since we were wee bairns.”

A gasp escaped her lips as she turned her face to his. “It’s different.”

But he hadn’t answered. Because his lips dropped to press lightly against hers. She’d never kissed a man before and she melted into him. It was delicious.

“We’ll be there inside of an hour,” her father called, bringing her back to the present. “Use yer time to make yerself presentable.”

“I’m presentable already,” she gritted out. “All I’ve done is sit in this carriage.”

The carriage rumbled to a stop as he swung open the door, still on the back of his horse and assessed her from top to bottom. Grunting, he gave her a long look. “You’ll find a husband this trip Fiona or I’ll choose for ye.” Then he slammed it shut again.

Fiona rarely cried, but tears pricked at her eyes, the memories flooding her mind again. They’d barely spoken as their bodies had locked together. The kiss had deepened and lengthened until they found themselves in a stall, horizontal in the hay.

Time had fallen away as they’d held each other.

When he’d touched her in the most intimate place, she’d known. Colin was the only man for her.

In the morning, he’d promised to return that night. To speak with her father together. She’d known he would ask for her hand. Why wouldn’t he?

But things had started to go wrong the moment he left. After their night in the barn, the family had realized her absence. That was when her father had demanded she find a husband before anyone else discovered she’d been missing for an entire night. She’d nearly told him there was nothing to be concerned about, that she’d been with Colin and he’d proposed. But she’d kept it to herself. Her father would be furious with her new husband, and while he’d be suspicious when Colin offered, it would be better if her father didn’t know for certain.

By nightfall, she began to worry. Why hadn’t he come? When Colin didn’t come the next day, she knew something must be wrong. She’d considered going to find out but her father was absolutely furious and she didn’t dare break another rule. So she’d sent her sister, Ainsley, instead. Just to make sure he wasn’t hurt or ill. Ainsley had no idea why she’d been sent. But when she came back, she’d declared that Colin had taken a trip to the Highlands to visit family.

Why hadn’t he come? And why would he leave without telling her?

That was when her heart had broken. She’d never forgive him for this. Never.

He had been her friend for as long as she could remember. How could he do this to her? Hurt her like this?

The carriage rumbled on before finally coming to a rest. She shook her head to clear the memories and the pain that came with them. They must have arrived at Laird Stewart’s home. Not that she could see enough to tell. But he was hosting this summit of landowners in the area so she was sure they must have arrived.

Her nerves jangled as she craned her neck to see who was outside. Part of her knew she was being selfish. They’d come to discuss their home. Scotland was changing. Scots were leaving of their own volition to go to Canada or America. While Scotland was growing industry and trade, it wasn’t supporting its people and so they were immigrating in search of better lives. At least, that is what her father thought and she agreed. But she couldn’t think of that now.

Because her father had brought her here to find her a husband. Fiona sighed. She only hoped Shamus was in attendance with Laird Campbell rather than Colin. After what had happened, she never wanted to see him again.

Her father snapped open the door, but it was like a different man that greeted her this time. All smiles and warmth, he reached for her hand. Fiona knew he was putting on a show for whoever was outside the carriage. She supposed she couldn’t blame him for being angry. She hadn’t been the easiest child. But she’d find her way if he just allowed it to happen rather than pushing so hard.

She stepped from the buggy. Her eyes sweeping the house, lands, and people who stood to greet them. Not for the first time, she wished Emilia or Ainsley were here with her. They’d soothe her father, and help Fiona figure out what to do in the face of so many would-be suitors.

The eyes of Laird Stewart and his two sons landed upon her the moment she stepped from the carriage. She’d been called a Scot beauty before. While her nose was spattered with freckles, her eyes were a nice shade of green. She’d always thought so, anyway. And her hair was a flaming color of red; while it was not her favorite, Colin had long told her it was warm and inviting. Thoughts of him immediately made her heart skip a beat but she ignored it, determined to forget Colin or, at the very least, remain angry at him.

“You ken my daughter, Lady Fiona.” Her father gave both the Stewart sons a glowing smile. Fiona refrained from rolling her eyes. He needn’t be so ingratiating. Hell would freeze over and her hair would turn white before she’d marry one of those two.

“Ye rode in a carriage, Fiona?” Alister near crowed. “I had no idea ye looked like that. Usually yer hair’s a tangled mess and—” He stopped when his father elbowed him in the ribs.

As the two elders stepped aside, their heads bowed together in conversation, Fiona was left with the Stewart brothers. Her teeth clenched.

Fergus was more subtle. He took her gloved hand, giving it a kiss. Leaning over, he whispered, “I ken another way to tangle yer hair.”

Fiona blinked, her other hand fisting in her skirt. Did he mean what she thought he meant? Normally, she’d have landed her right fist on his nose for such a comment but her father stood smiling not ten feet away, completely unaware of what an arse Fergus was. So instead she placed a bland look on her face and delivered her barb without her fist. Dropping into a curtsey, she saw his eyes drift to her cleavage. As she stood, she moved closer so as not to be overheard. “The man who musses my hair will find himself at the altar the next morn’,” she murmured softly all the while keeping a smile upon her face.

Fergus paled as he took a step back.

Her father’s eyes narrowed as he watched but he did not rejoin her and instead resumed conversation with Laird Stewart.

It was sure to be a long day.

More men joined them in the lane, leaving the comfort of the Stewarts’ home to come out to greet them. The elder men gravitated toward her father, the younger gathered with her, Angus, and Fergus.

Standing straighter, her insides tightened, ready to snap with every man whose eyes roved over her.

As the Lockwood sons joined the conversation, they were even less subtle.

“So different, Fiona.” Rutland Lockwood had allowed himself a slow perusal of her figure. “Who ken ridin’ a horse like ye do made ye ready for ridin’ a man?”

“I didnae ken ye’d make such a fine wife, yer usually covered in mud,” Barclay smirked with a glint in his eye.

She pasted her falsest smile upon her lips. She often traded barbs with the boys, but she felt at a disadvantage now, dressed as she was. “Not even mud can hide the fact that yer a scrawny scarecrow,” she sneered at Barclay as the other men snickered. Turning to Rutland, her green eyes narrowed. “And you, Rutland,” her voice had dropped dangerously and Rutland actually took a half step back. “Elizabeth Crawley had an interesting story about what a ride with you was like.”

It was a dirty blow and she knew it. But Rutland deserved to have this story thrown in his face after what he’d just said. Her second cousin, Elizabeth, had allowed him to kiss her in the barn and the man had spilled his seed in his own pants.

For a moment, Rutland stood still as a statue, his face in slack lines of disbelief as the other men roared with laughter around her. If her father ever heard her, he’d box her ears. But they had started it, they’d always started it, because they knew she could give it back.

But Rutland’s face was changing. It went bright red and then taut with anger. Wearing a corset and petticoats, there would be no escaping his wrath and his hand raised as he stepped toward her. “Why you little—”

Someone stepped in front of her blocking Rutland from her view. It took less than a second to recognize the back of Colin’s head. He’d come, after all. Her insides clenched with anger and excitement, blast him to hell. “Touch her, and it will be me that takes it out of yer hide.” Colin’s voice was low and menacing. His broad shoulders set wider than any other man’s while his hands were raised, ready for a fight. He was taller and more muscular than any of the other men here, and the familiar ache began in her nether regions. She huffed a sigh at him and at herself.

“Colin,” she snapped, regaining her senses. She didn’t need him for anything, ever.

Not acknowledging she spoke, he didn’t reply as he continued to stare down the men in front of him. She was already annoyed, at her father, at the other men that surrounded her, and most especially at Colin. She jabbed him in the small of his back with her finger. “Move out of the way, I don’t need yer help.”

Rutland laughed then. “Ye heard her, Colin. Fiona doesn’t need yer help. She’s more of a man than ye are.”

Fiona sucked in her breath. Not because she was particularly upset but because Rutland was about to get licked good. Colin would not stand the insult, that she knew. He was stronger and tougher than most Scottish men, and that was saying something.

Colin stepped closer to Rutland, and his voice dropped low and quiet. “I’m going to beat ye good for that. Ye’re not going to know when or where, but it will happen. And after it does, ye’ll apologize to Fiona or I will do it again and again until ye do.”

“I was only jokin’.” Rutland took a half step back. He knew he was no match for Colin. “There’s no need to be like that.”

“Fiona is a lady—” Colin started but Rutland interrupted.

“Fiona is not a lady, at least not like the rest of ‘em. She’s always been able to take an insult and—”

“Do ye see her? Does she look like she’s here to listen to yer shite?” Colin took a breath and she took the opportunity to step in front of him.

The other men crowded around them, forming a circle that blocked them from the elders’ view.

Turning to Colin, she gave him a little push on the chest. Which likely was a mistake because her body tingled from the contact. She ignored it. “I dunnae need ye to help me.”

Rutland moved closer behind her, likely feeling more secure now she was between him and Colin. “You heard her, she doesn’t need ye to help her.” Then he placed his hand on her arse and gave one of her cheeks a squeeze. She sucked in her breath, anger coursing through her. He’d gone too far this time.

Spinning, in one fluid motion, she cracked him in the face with her fist. How dare he touch her? Her blow landed directly on his hawkish nose, which immediately began spewing blood.

Rutland let out a roar of pain and Colin pulled her back so that she just missed Rutland’s return swing. Tucking her behind him, Colin stepped up and cracked Rutland again, sending him crashing to the ground.

“What the devil?” her father roared, likely hearing the noise. He lumbered over to join them. Her father was a great deal slower than he used to be, but he still towered over the men, even Colin. Fiona’s stomach gave a flutter of nerves. Her father would be angry at her fit of temper, even if Rutland deserved it. She tucked her now bloodied fist in her dark green skirt. Perhaps he wouldn’t notice.

“Just some friendly banter is all,” Colin gave her a father an easy grin. The other men nodded and stepped in front of Rutland. If there was one rule, it was that they did not allow their parents to see their antics.

She’d known many of these young men since she was a child, none of them had liked that she kept up with them, not that she’d cared. But the tenor had changed and it frightened her just a touch. Rutland, or any of the others had never tried to touch her like that. For a brief moment, she was glad Colin was by her side. If nothing else, he’d keep her safe.

But then she remembered. He hadn’t been there when she’d really needed him—when her father had demanded she marry. Stepping away from Colin, she smoothed her dress and returned to her father’s side.

She didn’t look back at him as she walked into the Stewarts’ estate. She was done with Colin Campbell.

Chapter 2

Colin watched Fiona walk away, acutely aware that she didn’t look back at him. Nor had she spoken to him other than to tell him she didn’t need him.

He knew she’d be angry. Of course she was. He should have gone to her and explained why he hadn’t offered for her hand but he didn’t even know how to begin.

I’m sorry, I kissed ye. Held ye close in the hay. Touched ye like I did. It sounded ridiculous. Even more unbelievable was that jealousy had fueled his actions. When he’d seen her with the Earl of Dumfries, he’d near lost his senses. Which was ridiculous because Fiona was his friend, nothing more. At least that that was what he kept telling himself. But his were not the actions of a friend.

He gave his head a shake to stop the barrage of thoughts. Because their bond couldn’t grow. Feelings like that made a man weak, wasn’t his father proof enough?

Shaking off these thoughts he followed her into the house.

While he couldn’t give her his affection, he could certainly protect her. She might not want his help, but she was getting it anyway, especially if another one of these upstarts tried to touch her again. He didn’t care if that was wrong or not, he’d keep her safe no matter the cost to himself.

Just the thought of what Rutland had done filled him with rage. The problem with Fiona was that she had tussled with the boys most of her childhood. Many of them were entirely too familiar with her. They were used to trading insults, but less familiar with her looking the part of a beauty. It was making them behave in odd ways.

If he were honest, it was making him behave differently too. Though, he’d always known Fiona was a beauty. And he adored Fiona on the back of a horse, riding wild and free. But seeing her in a dress, her hair pulled back to accentuate her high cheekbones and large green eyes. Well, it made his insides go wild with want.

He thought back to the barn and heat filled him again. He hadn’t taken her maidenhead but he’d come too close. He’d never touched an innocent woman like that before, but Fiona was different. There was so much passion in everything she did. It was easy to forget what was proper.

He found her in the entryway, ringed by another group of men, mostly sons of lairds. Her father was with her this time and these men were not known to him or, he assumed, her. It meant, at least for the moment, they’d likely behave.

And once her father announced her engagement, they’d respect that.

While he hadn’t been home to hear the announcement, he was sure, in his absence, she’d been promised to Dumfries. Dumfries’ extended stay at the castle couldn’t mean anything else. His chest tightened again but he knew it was for the best. Dumfries offered her a fine match and without the entanglement of emotion, Fiona was sure to be happier. Wasn’t that what his father had always said?

As much as it pained him, Dumfries was the better choice for Fiona. Still, he wanted to part on good terms. They’d been friends their entire lives after all.

He passed by the group and followed the maids up the stairs, sure they were preparing Fiona and Haggis’s rooms. The first room was far too masculine to be for Fiona and so finding the second, he waited for the maids to leave and then slipped through the door, hiding himself behind the curtains.

It didn’t take long until he heard her enter, her trunks being delivered. “Thank ye,” she called and then the door closed again. Waiting for a moment, the rustle of skirts caught his ear and then the distinct sound of her sigh. Another five seconds passed and when he didn’t hear anyone else’s voice, he peeked out from behind the curtain.

She sat at her vanity, her chin resting on her hands as she looked to her reflection with a frown. He tried to ignore the wrenching of his heart.

Quickly scanning the room one last time, Colin stepped out from behind the curtain and slowly crossed the room. “Fiona,” he called softly.

With a start, she jumped from the chair. “What dae ye think ye’re doin’ in here?” she cried.

“I wanted to talk wit’ ye but wit’ that ring of men around ye, this was the only way I could get a word in.” He gave her a wink, hoping to lighten the mood.

It didn’t work. Her face darkened instead. “The time for ye and I to talk is long past.” She came up to him then and gave him another good poke in the chest. “Are ye here to offer for my hand?”

Colin’s mouth snapped closed. She’d gone straight to the heart of the matter and asked for the one thing he couldn’t do. It made him ache and as he looked in her eyes, he could see the hurt there too.

“I didn’t think so.” She took a half step back, her face losing the look of hurt. Instead it held the strength Fiona always seemed to possess. “There is nothing to say, then. Get out of my room.”

“Of course there are things to say.” Colin could feel his own anger rising. Sure, he should have explained. But she was going to toss a lifetime of friendship aside because of a few kisses? But even as he thought it, he knew it had been more than a few stolen kisses.

“Like what?” She crossed her arms, her cheeks turning pink, even as her eyes flashed in anger.

His hands came to her hips. He shouldn’t touch her like this but he couldn’t seem to resist. “I can’t believe yer this upset. It was one time, and ye can’t tell me ye weren’t curious—”

It happened so suddenly, he’d hardly expected it. One second she was standing a foot away from him and the next, she was ramming her shoulder into his stomach. He bent as a soft whoosh of air pushed out of his lungs. “Get out, Colin Campbell. I never want tae see ye again.”

Then she pushed him and he stumbled toward the door. It wasn’t that she was so strong that she’d overpowered him. In fact, Fiona was going to have to learn that even Rutland was too strong for her to tussle with now that they were grown. She’d end up hurt. But he allowed her to push him out anyway. Because, he couldn’t be with her and when they were together, he couldn’t stand to be without her. It was for the best, really. She’d be happier without him.

Except that as her door slammed in his face, he had the feeling he’d gone about this entirely wrong.

* * *

Fiona’s breath was ragged as she stared at the back of the door. How dare he come in here and lecture her about preserving their friendship. She was about to be sold off to some man and it was all his fault.

She ignored the little voice that claimed it was far more her fault, that her father had been driven to take action by slow degree. He was one of the kindest men she knew, but she just couldn’t seem to follow the rules. Still, she’d always thought that he’d want a match for her like he had with her mother. One filled with love.

Returning to the vanity table, she looked at her reflection again. Her hair was pulled back, making her green eyes look even larger. And while she still had a sprinkling of freckles, her skin was a pretty shade of ivory. Colin had liked her well enough to be curious. Why didn’t he want more from her?

That didn’t matter, she told herself. Because she didn’t want Colin either. Not anymore. But still, it would be nice if he still wanted her.

Her mind began turning. How could she make him pay for hurting her? A plan to make him wildly jealous began forming. He’d been jealous of Dumfries. What if she made him jealous again? Then she could reject him. With a smile, she stood to pull the bell cord to call a maid. She’d show Colin Campbell what he was missing. Then he’d be sorry.

A petite maid walked and gave Fiona a quick curtsey. “You rang, miss?”

Fiona gave a nod. “I need someone to help me style my hair.”

“I can ye help ye with that,” she chirped as she crossed the room.

“What’s yer name?” Fiona asked as she sat at the vanity.

“Mary.” She gave Fiona a brilliant smile in the mirror.

Fiona returned it, relaxing immensely. “I’m Fiona. Thank ye fer yer help, Mary.”

Three hours later, she was ready to go to dinner. Her curls had been tamed into soft waves that were loosely tied back. Her ivory dress highlighted the color of her skin and made the green of her eyes shine in the candlelight. Mary had done an admirable job.

As she entered the sitting room to await dinner, all eyes were upon her. A blush climbed her cheeks. Emilia, her shy sister, always claimed that men paid attention to Fiona. But Emilia was wrong. That is to say, they liked her, but as a compatriot not as admirers. It wasn’t until recently that their glances had changed and even then, like Rutland, they didn’t quite see her as a lady.

She scanned the room and caught Colin’s gaze as he lounged on a couch. He was wearing a jacket with his kilt, looking more dapper than she had ever seen him, but even dressed like this, he exuded power, strength. A raw energy that made her breath catch.

A fluttering started deep in her chest. Did he think she looked pretty? But his eyes were unreadable as he stared at her. And that cut her deeply. His handsome features were always set in a welcoming smile when they landed upon her.

Finally, she turned her face away. She wasn’t sure what she’d been hoping. That he’d be so overcome by her beauty that he’d sweep over to her and declare his love? But he did nothing. Her skin prickled with hurt and irritation.

Rutland was first to seek her company, greeting her father and then making small talk with them both. Once her father engaged in conversation with another of the lairds, he leaned in and whispered, “I owe ye an apology. I shouldn’t have touched ye like that and I shouldn’t have swung me fist at ye either.”

She gave a nod, “I likely shouldn’t have punched yer nose.” She glanced at him, realizing it was rather swollen.

He gave her a small smile. “Ye’ve been my friend fer a long time and now yer a grown woman. I guess it’s hard tae know if I should pull yer hair or ask ye to dance.”

Her eyes rolled upward. “Just dunnae touch my arse and we’ll be fine.” But she felt her heart lurch. It was a nice enough apology and she wished Colin had said something similar this afternoon.

He laughed then. “Fair enough.” He stepped closer. “Is yer father really forcin’ ye to marry?”

Her hands shot to her hips. She didn’t like other people knowing what had happened between her and her father. It filled her with embarrassment that her father considered her so wayward, he was forcing a match. Or that all the men here were looking at her, assessing her for their purposes. It made her angry just thinking about it. “Where’d ye hear that?”

“Me da mentioned it. Said I should consider ye for a bride—”

“Don’t bother, Rutland. I’m not marrying ye.” But the in her anger her voice had risen and several sets of eyes were cast their way. As hers glanced over the crowd, many averted as though she had done something wrong. Mentally she cursed herself. Her temper was too fiery by half. She should apologize.

But another gaze caught her notice. Only Colin’s eyes remained fixed on her. Her fits of anger rarely bothered him and, in fact, he’d normally be standing to join her in any argument in which she’d landed herself. But he stayed put. She turned back to Rutland, determined to ignore Colin and the hurt that was swelling in her heart.

If only she’d done exactly that, turned her gaze away and made her apologies to Rutland for yelling. Because Rutland was furious now, his face was puckered in anger as his eyes travelled from her to Colin. “I wouldn’t want to marry ye either. A woman should be sweet. It doesn’t matter that ye’ve developed into a beauty. It only hides yer churlish nature.”

She let out a huff of breath as he stormed off, but a hand at her back made her jump.

“What was all that?” her father asked, looking absolutely furious. It wasn’t that he frightened her. Her father was a large but gentle man. It was that every time she angered him, she worried she pushed him closer to making a decision on her behalf.

“Rutland deserved it, Da,” she started but he slashed his hand down cutting her words off.

“Would Emelia have caused a scene like that?” he hissed as he began tugging her toward the hall. Once they arrived, he turned to her. “Would Ainsley have hit a man just after arriving?”

Her own anger swelled to match his. There was little question where she’d gotten her temper. “Is that what you want then? For me to be meek like Emilia or as coquettish as Ainsley?”

“Don’t talk about yer sisters that way. They are both fine women!”

“It’s just me that’s lacking then?” she huffed and then turned, starting for her room.

Her father grunted. “I didnae mean it like that. Where are ye goin’?”

“To my room. I wouldnae want tae cause ye any more shame.” And then she stomped toward the stairs.

Chapter 3

Colin watched Haggis pull Fiona from the room and his chest tightened with worry. If anything, Haggis was an overly permissive parent, allowing Fiona room to be herself. He wasn’t acting normally. Were negotiations for the engagement not going well?

But Colin pushed those thoughts aside. It was none of his business. It wasn’t as though Fiona was in danger. That man loved his daughters with a heart as big as the rest of him. If she was with Haggis, she was safe. It was the rest of these arses he had to keep an eye on. He’d keep his word and help Fiona if the other men gave her trouble. No matter how angry he was, he’d always protect her. He hoped her father announced the engagement soon, they’d be difficult to keep at bay for too long. Fiona was titled and beautiful.

Then another thought made his chest constrict. What if Dumfries came here to make the announcement? What if Dumfries would be joining the summit and he’d have to watch them together?

He cursed having to be here. Unfortunately, it couldn’t be helped. He’d come to this summit alone because his father was ill again and the elder Campbell thought it’d be good training for his son.

Rutland came over to him, his eyes wary after earlier today. “I didn’t start it this time.”

“What?” Colin asked, being drawn out of his thoughts.

“With Fiona. She’s upset about something and she just lost her temper.” Rutland sat down heavily next to him.

“That’s Fiona,” he grinned, despite himself. He missed her. He’d miss pulling her out of scrapes, but he couldn’t protect her forever; though, if he were being honest, he wished he could. But his mother’s uncle had passed and Colin was to inherit the land and its profitable coal mines located in the Highlands. As the second son, it was the best he could hope for and for once he was lucky that his brother had a different mother, or Shamus would have inherited both pieces of land.

That meant he was leaving. Starting a new life in the Highlands and he was saying goodbye to her. He didn’t understand why the idea pained him so much. But it was better for her. Dumfries was better for her.

With a shrug, he rose from his sofa to go to the dining room. But a quick glance showed Haggis was there while Fiona was missing. She had stormed off to her room, no doubt. It made him grin to think of her temper getting the best of her. Her passion had never bothered him, in fact, he found it exhilarating. He wished she was here now. This night was going to be dull indeed.

But thinking of all the ways Fiona was exhilarating caused him to remember that night in the barn. He immediately blocked it out. Because even thinking about the way she kissed had his body tightening in ways that was not appropriate for a dinner party.

He walked by Lord Michael McMannis, a baron’s heir. “She is a feisty one. Likely not the best wife, but the bed sport will surely make up for it.”

His friend, who Colin didn’t know, slapped him on the back. “Ye know it. And the title is a nice carrot too.”

Another woman with a title? Unless they thought Fiona wasn’t attached? Haggis had better make the announcement soon. Both men cleared their throats as he passed. The hair on his neck stood up and a slight growl rumbled deep in his throat. These men were a threat to him and if they said such a thing to Fiona, he’d take their punishments from their hides.

Rather than returning to the dining room he made his way down the hall to the servants’ stairs that led to the kitchen. It was dastardly, as a guest, but he snitched a plate of roast beef and then headed back up the stairs toward Fiona’s room.

Softly knocking on the door, the hair on the back of his neck stood again as he heard something he’d only witnessed one other time when she’d fallen from a pony: the sound of Fiona crying.

“Fiona, it’s me.” He knocked again “I brought food.”

“Go away, Colin,” her muffled voice was barely distinguishable.

“Ye’ve been telling me that a lot today,” he growled at the door. “I’m about done with it, honestly. If I break down the door, there will be questions.”

He heard her get up off the bed and shuffle over. The knob turned and she opened it a crack. “If ye break down the door, you won’t escape the marriage noose this time.”

“This time? What dae ye mean, this time?” His chest tightened with worry and something else.

Her eyes were puffy and her hair was slightly mussed but that only made her more appealing. He wanted to run his fingers through that hair, bury his face in it.

“I didn’t mean anythin’,” she huffed back then reached her hand through the doorway and grabbed some roast beef. “Now git out of here before my da catches ye.”

“Yer talking like ye aren’t already promised.” He pushed the door open wider but Fiona stood in his way, blocking his entrance into the room.

“Promised?” She biffed him on the side of his head. “Did ye fall of yer horse? What’s that nonsense?”

“Dumfries. I ken he was still there when I returned from the Highlands.” His voice was rising but he wasn’t sure why. Something was about to unravel and he didn’t know how he felt about it.

“He’s asked Clarissa to marry him and she’s accepted.” Fiona turned around then and as she ate her roast beef, sat on the bed. “Ye really shouldn’t be here.”

His eyes closed for a moment. Relief and fear wared in his chest. “Dumfries is marrying Clarissa?”

“Fer feck’s sake, Colin. I told ye that weeks ago,” she huffed.

“People don’t always marry the person they love. My da says that love is—“ but he stopped not wanting to discuss his father now.

“Well Ewan and Clarissa are marrying the person they love. But you’re right. It’s a luxury many of us don’t get. And if ye don’t leave soon, it may just be yer fate too.”

“Because I’m here? How many times in yer life have the two of us been alone? We spent our entire childhood together.” He came to sit next to her.

“That might be true,” her head hung in way he’d never seen before. “But everythin’ is changin’.”

Without thought, he wrapped his arm around her shoulder. At twenty-two he was still slightly lanky but he looked enormous compared to her and he had the sudden urge to shield her from the world. But he couldn’t. Things were changing. He was leaving and he couldn’t protect her from that. He was trying to keep her safe from his own feelings but that didn’t seem to be working either. “We don’t have to change, not our friendship.”

She shook her head, keeping her eyes cast down. “Colin, it already has changed.”

This Fiona frightened him. He squeezed her tighter trying to bring her some comfort. Trying to bring himself some. He was used to her seizing the world with both hands and shaking it to her will. He loved that Fiona. Well, not love, of course. But that Fiona filled him with joy and excitement. “Don’t let it.”

“My da is going to force a match, Colin. He’s decided it’s time for me to marry. I’ll leave and go off with my new husband. Our time of gallivanting about the loch or riding through the forest is over.” Her head hung lower.

Colin couldn’t help himself, it pained him to see her so sad. And so he gathered her closer and placed a kiss on her forehead. “You’re not married yet. We can still be friends, still spend time together.”

“I don’t feel the same about ye that I used to.” Fiona lifted her head then, her eyes filled with determination that he loved even as her words cut him to pieces. “And I can’t pretend that I do.”

“Fiona,” her name fell from his lips without knowing what he begged for. He didn’t want to let her go now or ever. Her words cut into him. But he knew he had to do it.

She stood from the bed, leaving his embrace. “It’s time fer ye tae go.” Then she turned her back and walked to the vanity. He watched her start to pull pins from her hair as one by one the tresses released from her coif, cascading down her back. His hands itched to gather them up, bury his face in them, bask in their fire.

But he stood instead. His father had been right all along. That night in the barn had ruined everything. Standing, he crossed the room and walked out the door.

* * *

Fiona heard the door shut and her tears started anew. She never cried. But today, she couldn’t seem to stop.

Three hours she’d prepared in order to show Colin what he was missing and all she had to show for it was a plea for friendship and an irritated father. Her plan had failed miserably. What was wrong with her?

As she finished pulling the pins from her hair, she managed to undo her gown herself. Mary had been delightful but she wanted solitude now. Crawling into bed, her eyes closed but sleep didn’t come. The more she thought about Colin, the angrier she became.

How dare he kiss her like that, touch her and then want her to act as though nothing had happened? While that wasn’t exactly what he’d said, it’s what he meant.

He’d played with her heart. Now she had feelings for him that she couldn’t make go away and because of those kisses, her father was forcing her into marriage. He’d both condemned her to love him and forced her to marry another. It was so unjust, her blood boiled thinking about it.

Now she was cordoned off in her room while he enjoyed the dinner. By the time she’d finally fallen asleep, she had nothing but revenge on her mind and a plan of how to get it.

Fiona rose early the next morning, and Mary helped her pin back her hair and put on a riding habit.

The air was crisp and cool as she crossed from the house to the barn. She knew several of the men were taking a tour of the Stewarts’ property. Laird Stewart had hired a doctor for his village, built a school for the children, made sure each of his tenants had a home of his own. His land was thriving unlike so many others.

Scotland was growing too, mining and trading with the world, but that money wasn’t going to the people who needed it most. The working class of Scotland was suffering with illness and poor living conditions. Her father swore they needed to support the people more. Invest money on more homes, more doctors. Like Laird Stewart had done. Like her father had done.

The tour was to convince many lairds that it was a necessary change to keep people in Scotland rather than watching them leave for a better life in other lands.

She knew Colin would go on the tour. He’d come as a proxy for his father. Fiona wondered if his father was having another of his fits. He’d been sick often in his life, and it wasn’t necessarily cause for concern. Except that, whenever Colin’s father took to bed, Colin changed as well.

A little doubt crept into her mind. Was that what had kept him from her? But she shook her head. It couldn’t be. What would his father have to do with him wanting to remain only friends?

Filling a bucket of water at the well, she carefully climbed up into the loft of the barn. She was stationed just above the entrance.

She heard them before she saw them. The rumble of male voices. Her skin itched with anticipation. Colin deserved a little of the humiliation she was suffering because of his kisses. She was being paraded and judged like livestock on the marriage market while he whistled to the tune of proxy laird. Let him be embarrassed for a change.

The barn door swung open and several men stepped in to the dark barn. Realizing that she wouldn’t be able to see Colin until he was near past her, she shimmied out further onto a beam, still balancing the bucket.

It was a feat most women likely wouldn’t be able to accomplish, particularly not in a skirt, but Fiona was not most women. And as Colin walked through the door, she had a single moment where her breath caught, dazzled by how handsome he was.

His dark hair glistened in the sun and he stood taller and broader than most of the men, his smile resting easily on his face.

Then she remembered. He only wanted to be her friend. His actions were the reason she was here now. And in a single motion, she tipped the bucket and soaked him clean to the bone.

He stood silently assessing himself as the men around him roared with laughter. She might have felt a moment of triumph but his kilt stuck to his thighs while his shirt clung to his rather muscular chest. The view of all those rippling muscles momentarily stopped her and it was just long enough for him to look up and see the culprit before she could scurry back across the beam and onto the loft.

He let out a roar as she clattered across the wood slats, hoping to make it to the exterior ladder that hung from the upper door where hay was loaded. But Colin swung himself into the loft and before she could even make it halfway. He’d caught her.

Grabbing her arm, he swung her around. “For feck’s sake, what do ye think ye’re doin’?”

She pushed at his chest but this time he didn’t move at all which only infuriated her even more. “Ye deserve it.” She spit at him.

“Fer what?” He looked down at her completely perplexed.

“Yer a stupid man, like all the rest. How can ye not ken?” She threw at him. “It’s a wonder any man convinces a woman to lie wit’ him ever. Brainless twits the lot of ye.”

“Fiona,” he growled back. “I should put ye over my knee for this.”

“Go ahead and try,” she returned but before he could do or say anymore, she yanked her arm from his grasp. In two steps she hurled herself off the loft. Grabbing a beam she swung down and then softly landed on her feet.

“Well I’ll be a horse’s arse,” one of the men muttered staring at her.

“She looks like one of those monkeys the English bring back from India,” another laughed.

Her face flamed even as Colin landed next to her. She spun on her heel away from them all and turned back toward the door. She could run in her riding habit if necessary. She’d wanted to make Colin pay, but as usual, it was her who looked like a fool.

Her chest was heaving as she made her way back to the house in the early morning air. It bit at her skin but she ignored it as she broke into a run.

Colin was just behind her, she could hear his footsteps and see his breath. But she ignored him and picked up speed. Finally, he stopped her again but this time he didn’t grab her arm, this time, he took hold of her waist. “What the devil has gotten into you?” he ground out as he spun her in his arms.

“What’s gotten into you?” She pushed against his chest but he only tightened his hold.

“I’m trying to be yer friend.” Their bodies were pressed together now. She could feel the hard length of him strong and exciting but she ignored the ache that it sparked deep inside.

“Tell me somethin’, Colin Campbell. Do ye hold any of yer other friends like this?”

His square jaw tightened and his mouth thinned. “What does that have to do wit’ anything’?”

“We can’t be friends. We never will be again.” Her fist banged on his chest before she clutched at his shirt fisting it in her hands. “If ye care fer me at all, ye’ll leave me in peace tae find a husband.”

“Yer the one who tossed a bucket o’ water on me.” He held her tighter like he didn’t want to let her go even as his face was set in angry lines.

“Because yer gettin’ off without a worry while I’m left to face the consequences,” she yelled back, her other hand fisting in his shirt.

“What consequences?” he asked his eyes scanning her face but he knew. She could see him pale, the lines of his face draw tight.

It was that moment that Fiona realized her mistake. She hadn’t meant to tell him. Yes, she wanted him to want her. But not out of pity. Fiona was strong enough to know she didn’t want him acting out of duty or regret. “Never mind.”

She tried to pull out of his arms but he was so much stronger than her now, he held tight.

“Is yer father makin’ you marry because of our night in the barn?” His voice was quiet, filled with dread.

“It doesn’t matter, now.” She tried harder to pull out of his arms but he held her fast.

“Fiona?” It was a question but she wouldn’t answer it. “I won’t leave ye to face this alone.”

She stopped trying to pull away then and her anger bubbled to the surface. “Ye already have. And ye’ve made it perfectly clear that ye only want to be my friend.” Her fists banged against his chest with every word she spoke. “It’s too late, Colin.”

“Marry me, Fiona.” As he said the words his throat worked as his faced paled even further. He didn’t want to marry her. Silly tears once again pricked at her eyes. She wanted the anger, not the sadness and she did not want his pity proposal.

“No,” she clenched her teeth as she spoke.

“What?” He lifted her off her feet, and though she tried to kick at his shins, he spread his legs so she couldn’t reach them. Face to face, he looked her in the eyes. “Don’t be a fool, Fiona.”

“I’m the fool?” she near spat in his face. “Ye’ve ruined my life with yer careless behavior but I’m the fool.” Her voice was rising. “I wouldn’t marry ye if ye were the last man in Scotland. Now put me down and leave me be!”

He did just that. Setting her on her feet, Colin turned and walked away. Fiona’s heart seized in her chest. What had she just done?

Chapter 4

Colin bypassed the barn and headed out on the open land that surrounded the Stewarts’ estate. What had he done?

He’d proposed. And that alone should have frightened him beyond belief. It went against everything his father had taught him. He knew he couldn’t marry a woman he cared about so deeply. And he did care for her. He couldn’t deny it, it was precisely why he couldn’t be with her.

He pictured his life with some other woman. One who didn’t dump water on his head. One who didn’t ride until breathless and push him faster. One who didn’t kiss like his lips were wine and she longed to be drunk. It was hollow…a future where Fiona wasn’t part of his life.

He’d touched her, that night in the barn, in her most intimate place. It wasn’t the first time he’d been with a woman. There had been many, but none had felt like her. So soft, warm and wet, tight around his finger like a silky glove. Every part of her had clung to him with the passion that only Fiona could exude.

Some other man might get that passion. It was like a knife to Colin’s heart. She couldn’t be his but he didn’t want her to be anyone else’s. Even worse, was if that man didn’t want it. What if he tried to mold Colin’s wild Fiona into something domestic and agreeable? It was a crime against nature. Fiona was a wild beauty beyond compare. “Feck,” he yelled into the wind. They were just friends, he told himself. But he knew is wasn’t true, much as he hated to admit it. Because, his father was right. It would be so much simpler without these feelings. And his affection was causing nothing but problems. Was it also true that love like that had ended Elswith’s life? He couldn’t think about it anymore so instead, he broke into a run, aimlessly covering ground across the Stewarts’ land.

That night in the barn, she’d broken to pieces in his arms. He’d held her close after and she’d fallen asleep against him. Then, he’d spent most of the night watching her, so soft and pretty. He’d stroked her hair, and in that moment, he’d thought his father wrong. This couldn’t be bad. What he’d felt was magical.

He hadn’t fallen asleep until near sunrise and when he woke a few hours later, he’d slipped away, ready to admit that Fiona was more than just his friend. He knew how he felt. But that feeling had lasted as long as it had taken him to ride home.

When he’d gotten there, he’d known instantly that his father was ill. The hushed voices, the drawn curtains told him exactly what was wrong. But even his mother had looked worried, and she was never fussed about his bouts of illness.

“He’s got a cough,” she had whispered.

He had sprinted up the stairs and into his father’s room. The man was tucked in his bed looking weaker than Colin had ever seen him. “Da?” he’d called.

“Come here, Colin,” his father’s hoarse whisper had drawn him over. “I’m so glad tae see ye, me boy. Yer Da needs ye now. I need ye tae go tae the summit fer me while yer brother stays here to run the estate.” His father had clutched at his hand.

“Of course,” he had replied. Unlike when he was a boy, and had been afraid of sadness, he wanted to comfort his father now. Ease the man’s suffering.

“Remember what I’ve told ye, Colin. Protect yerself and yer heart. Protect the people ye care about by making smart decisions instead of ones that are made with yer feelings. It’s a mistake, and it will cost lives.” His father took a ragged breath. “I don’t ken how much longer I’ll be here. But yer a man now and a man makes the hard choices, Colin. Remember that.” His father had closed his eyes then but he continued holding his son’s hand and Colin had sat for a long time. When he’d finally gotten up, he hadn’t gone to see Haggis McDougal to ask for Fiona’s hand. Instead he’d ridden to the loch and stared at the grey of the water for a long time.

Much like he was doing right now.

It was hard, holding himself apart from Fiona. But he’d watched love tear his father apart. It had been Elswith’s undoing. He wouldn’t do that to Fiona. No matter how it hurt.

Stumbling upon a small pond, he tossed a rock across its surface. He’d promised his father he’d marry for the right reasons but it was getting harder to pretend he only wanted to be Fiona’s friend. He hung his head in his hands, his mind clouded with indecision.

The wind picked up and he started to shiver in his wet clothes. Standing straighter, he made to turn around when the distinct sound of hooves caught his ears. The riding party was coming. He wouldn’t hide now, but his fists clenched at being caught soaking wet by the pond. He didn’t want them to know he was sulking and it would be obvious, he was sure, to all the men.

Sure enough, as the first riders crested the hill, he noticed Rutland in the front, pointing and laughing. He hated that weasel-faced egit. Laird Lockwood was a fine man. How his son could be so worthless was beyond Colin. Next to him was the son of a baron, Alastair McFarley. A few years older than Colin, he was a handsome devil, and popular with the ladies. But there was something about him that Colin didn’t care for. A disregard for others just under the surface. A few years back, he and his father had gone to visit the McFarleys. Alastair had taken up with a village girl. When she’d come to him saying she was carrying his child, he’d dismissed her without thought or compensation of any kind. It made Colin sick to remember.

Colin had gotten the distinct impression that Alastair would have been even meaner if Colin hadn’t been present. It was in the lines of his body, the barely contained fury in his voice.

Colin himself had gone to the girl and given her money for a dowry. He’d told her to marry the first boy she could and never speak of Alastair again.

Colin had been rather popular with the ladies himself, but he’d stopped any dalliances after that day. He’d never put a woman in that position. Except that he had. Fiona’s father was forcing her to marry after what they’d done. Hell and damnation.

Rutland and Alastair rode ahead of the group and Colin braced himself. Those two had laughed the loudest in the barn when Fiona had soaked him. “Yer still wet,” Rutland crowed. “Fiona sure is a pistol, dumping water on ye like that. Why ye stick up fer that beast of a girl, I’ll never know.”

Alastair gave a lewd smile. “Beast, aye. Haven’t ye ever broken a beast before, Rutland? It’s delightful.”

Images of Alastair roughly touching Fiona flashed through his mind and he near roared with anger. Fiona deserved to be worshipped, not broken. He’d die before he let a man like Alastair touch her.

But before he could respond, Rutland did. “I see yer point. That is one woman who needs to be tamed. She’d heel eventually, they all do.”

Colin took a deep breath. If Fiona were here, she’d attack first and question the wisdom of those actions later. But he would keep his head. For now, they were just words. But if either of them tried to touch her, well that was a different story entirely. “Fiona, isn’t for either of you,” he rasped out.

“Is she fer ye?” Rutland leaned down triumphantly. He was getting brave up there on his horse. Colin was going to have to unseat him soon, if he didn’t start using some manners. “Because her da seems to think she’s available to any man willing tae take her.”

A red haze was forming in front of Colin’s vision. “Everyone here knows ye wouldn’t be man enough,” he gritted out.

Alastair laughed, a cruel-sounding cackle that made Rutland shrink and even Colin felt the tiniest bit sorry for him. “He’s right there, ye haven’t got it in ye.” Alastair made a lewd gesture toward his manhood. “Now this, this would—”

But he didn’t get to finish. With a flick of his wrist, Colin tugged on Alastair’s leg and out of the saddle he came, landing with a thump on the ground.

Haggis and Laird Stewart joined them with several other men as Alastair pulled himself up from the ground and lunged at Colin. He was ready though and easily sidestepped the maneuver. Alastair’s own momentum sent him careening into the pond.

“Colin Campbell,” Haggis gave him the eye. “What’s gotten into you, son? Are ye wet from the pond? And why are ye fightin’ again today?”

Colin took a breath. Haggis had become like a second father to him over the years. He spent a great deal of time with Fiona, and unlike his own father, Haggis was always steady and strong. “We aren’t fighting. Just some good-natured fun.” To prove his point, he reached down and helped pull Alastair from the water and back up to standing.

Haggis swung off his giant beast of a horse. “Yer father wants ye to act the part of leader here. I believe that starts with not fighting.” Haggis’ voice was stern but several of the men quietly snickered at the lecture Colin was getting. Not that Colin cared. He had bested all of them and he could do it again. They were delighting now, because Haggis was able to do what they could not.

“Yes, my lord,” Colin replied.

“Do ye want to take my horse back?” Haggis was looking at him curiously.

Colin shook his head. “I’ll ride back with Alastair; we both need to change.”

Haggis got back on his own mount. “I’ll see ye later then.” He scratched his head. “I thought Fiona would want to ride wit’ us, but I haven’t seen her this mornin’, have ye?”

The men snickered louder and Colin’s gut clenched. “I don’t think she’s feelin’ that well.”

Haggis’ eyes narrowed at Colin’s lack of an answer, or perhaps because of the other men’s reaction, as his head swiveled and he assessed the men around him. Colin could see Haggis’s hands tightening on the reigns but he said nothing else as he kicked his horse forward.

The rest of the men took off at a trot behind him, Rutland with them. Once they were out of sight, Alastair gave him a sneer, “You ken I am not takin’ ye back.”

Colin stepped closer. “Ye are, and I’ll do far worse tae ye if I ever hear ye talk about Fiona like that again.”

Alastair sighed, his face still set in angry lines. “It doesn’t work like that, Colin. It’s just the way men talk. Ye can’t beat everyone up who considers her unless ye want her for yer own. Yer not her kin.”

Colin understood the truth of the words, not that he’d admit it to Alastair. He did have to decide. Would he risk Fiona by giving her his heart?

Chapter 5

Fiona sat in her room and looked out the window at the darkening sky. Mary had already come to do her hair for dinner. Her sunny company had been a welcome treat.

A knock sounded at her door and for a wild second, she thought it might be Colin. Did he want to apologize? Demand an apology? Her heart beat wildly, all the possibilities stormed through her mind.

Rising on unsteady legs, she began crossing the room when her father’s voice boomed from the other side. “Open up. We need to talk.”

Her spine stiffened as she finished crossing the room and yanked the door open. “Hello,” she said as she quickly gave a curtsy, feigning manners to point out his complete lack of them.

“Don’t start wit’ me, young lady.” Her father entered the room and then closed the door. “Why was Colin Campbell all wet and when I asked him about ye, everyone started to snicker?”

Fiona bit her lip. “It’s still quite cold. Why would Colin be walkin’ around wet?”

“That is what I am askin’ ye.”

She gave a shrug, hoping it was convincing. “How would I know?”

“You listen to me,” her father stepped closer, wagging his finger. “Alastair McFarley and Lord Halfmann have asked to court ye.”

She gasped. Alastair was pleasant enough to look at but she didn’t know a thing about him. But Halfmann was just what his name implied, half a man. Short and rotund, he was an insufferable know-it-all who spent all his time with his nose in a book. “Da, ye can’t be serious. We’ve only just arrived.”

“I’m serious. You better git serious too. If ye don’t pick, I’ll pick fer ye.” And then he wrenched open the door and left.

Fiona placed her head in her hands, she should have said yes to Colin this morning. Now it was too late.

But she didn’t have long to wallow in pity because dinner was about to start. And she had a suitor to find. Fiona would be damned before she allowed her father to pick for her.

Squaring her shoulders, she made her way downstairs. She’d be polite, she’d smile and she’d ask questions to learn about the men who were interested in her.

But, just like the night before, it began to go terribly wrong before it had even started. The moment she walked through the door, several men chuckled. Then the whispering began.

In her heart, she knew she deserved it. She’d dumped a bucket of water on Colin’s head in front of everyone. But it didn’t stop her porcelain cheeks from flaming with color.

Alastair McFarley was in front of her then. His eyebrows were raised and his lips quirked to one side. “I like yer fire, lass.”

“What?” she asked. Was he referring to her hair, her cheeks, or her temper?

“I bet ye burn bright. We could burn together.” His look turned lecherous. That night in the barn with Colin, she felt near on fire. Her body heating at his touch. But that couldn’t be what Alastair meant.

She tried to step around him, determined not to cause trouble this evening. But his hand reached out to grasp her arm, pulling her back in. “I’ve asked to court ye, but I want to ken what I might be getting if I do.”

A hand at her back made her head snap around. “Remove yer hand from me daughter’s arm,” her father rumbled. She’d seen him angry a great deal lately but nothing like this. The fury just under his words frightened even her.

Alastair stepped back, fear lighting his eyes. But it was Colin’s voice she heard next. “I told ye to stay away.”

Fiona half expected her father to tell Colin it wasn’t his place but he said nothing of the sort and it was Colin who escorted her to her seat at the table. After he helped her to sit, he walked around the massive wooden furniture and took the seat across from her. Halfmann sat to her right and she tried to keep from groaning.

There had to be other suitors. But it only got worse. None other than Rutland sat at her left and she sighed with frustration.

But the whispers about her quieted, at least that she could tell. And as the first course was served, she sat quietly eating her soup. There was no use in talking to any of the men who sat around her. Anything she had to say to Colin was best kept private and the other two… She would never marry either of them.

Instead, she tried to logically sort her feelings for Colin. It was something she’d attempted, and failed, to do all day. On one side, she’d been angry at him for not offering. But when he finally had, she’d rejected him. Why?

Because her feelings were hurt. Because he’d only offered out of obligation. What did she want? A declaration of love?

Her entire body heated and she flushed red. What a silly girl she was. Colin wanted her to be his friend and she wanted him to love her passionately.

If she’d accepted, would he grow to love her in time? She feared she’d never know because she’d turned him down.

Even if she’d said yes, she’d still be plagued with doubts. He obviously didn’t feel for her what she felt for him.

Looking across the table at him, she realized she loved him. Little good that did. All it seemed to do was raise her ire as he didn’t return the sentiment.

“What are you thinking?” The man himself interrupted her thoughts.

Her eyes met his and her breath caught. He was so beautiful, in that manly sort of way. His brown eyes sparkling at her, his lips tugged up in a jaunty smile. “Thank ye for what ye offered earlier,” she spoke softly and his eyes widened as he sat up in his chair.

“Did ye…have ye…did ye change yer mind?” His face went several shades paler.

It was like a knife in her heart. He didn’t want her and marrying her filled him with fear. But that wasn’t why she had brought it up. Much as it hurt, it wasn’t his fault if he didn’t feel the same about her. “I just wanted ye to ken that I’m done being angry wit’ ye. I’m glad yer my friend.” And that is what friends did. They forgave.

The next course was served so Colin didn’t have an opportunity to respond and then Lord Halfmann pulled her into conversation. “It’s lovely to see you again, Fiona.” He twirled a glass in his fingers, his thick lips set in a smile.

“You too, Lord Halfmann.” She was determined to be polite. Her father was right, in his own way. She needed to grow up, or at least grow past her feelings for Colin and she wouldn’t do that by riding horses or sparring with the men. She needed to be a lady. What an irritating day of truths it had been.

His smile grew. “Call me Fergus.” His meaty hand rested on the back of her chair. “I hope we can get to know one another.” His accent had become distinctly more English since she’d last seen him. While he did live in the south, it still seemed ludicrous to try and be rid of one’s country’s way of speaking. Was he trying to be more English?

She nodded, for once in her life not wanting to be rude.

“I’m sure your father told you, but I’ve asked to court you.” He leaned in a little closer. A spoon clattered into a bowl across the table.

“He did, Fergus,” she replied. “If you’ll forgive me, I don’t ken ye all that well, and I’ll need time to think it over.” Her stomach twisted painfully. She didn’t need time, she needed to run away. But somehow, knowing how she felt for Colin, made her understand that it was time to grow up.

His hand brushed the tresses of her hair that hung her down her back. She resisted the urge to pull away. “You’ve beautiful hair.” His hand started climbing up her back. “And lovely skin. I’ve always thought you to be a real beauty, Fiona.”

His words were sweet. If delivered by another man, they might have filled her with light. But not from him. “Tis very kind of ye.” She turned back to her second course, to begin eating, hoping the dismissal would force him to remove his hand.

Her eyes caught Colin’s. His spoon was gripped tightly in his fist, his brows set low, his jaw taut.

What had gotten into him?

Rutland attempted to attract her attention next. His pointed nose was a fair bit closer than she would have liked. “Fiona,” the voice said near her ear, “how do ye like the dinner?”

“It’s a fine meal. Really lovely,” she replied.

He gave her a grin. “It’s nothing compared with what we eat at Lockwood. My father hired a French chef. I thought it a terrible idea until I tried the food.”

Fiona actually gave Rutland a genuine smile. He was attempting to legitimately court her rather than being lewd. It was a nice change. Her sister, Emilia, was a softer, gentler woman and people often treated her with more kindness than they did Fiona. For once in her life, she understood that gentleness brought out the same in others.

As the meal ended, the men left to smoke and drink, and the women retired to a salon for conversation. But Fiona returned to her room. She needed to think more, and the best way for her to do that was to actually sit less.

Tonight, she would take a ride.

Colin watched her slip up to her room. By the way she glanced at her father several times, he knew she was up to no good. He knew Fiona better than any other person in Scotland, he’d wager.

Changing out of his dinner clothes, he put on a riding jacket, boots, and gloves. If Fiona were sneaking out, the barn is where she would end up.

Sure enough he saw her coming up the path to the barn an hour later. She was dressed in breeches and a shirt, her hair tucked in her hat, but he’d recognize the sway of her hips anywhere.

He slipped further into the shadows as she crept into the barn. She came out just a few minutes later, with a horse that wasn’t saddled. A groom would be less likely to catch her if she didn’t have to spend the time prepping the horse. He watched her lead the animal over to the paddock fence and use the rails to climb up on the horse’s back. In an instant, she was gone.

Retrieving his own beast from the barn he swung up into the saddle, hell bent on catching her and when he did, they’d be far away from the house and its occupants.

He’d seen Halfmann touch her. He’d expected Fiona to toss his hand away, or at the very least, put him in his place. But she’d sat there, obediently. It made him sick. Fiona was fire, she burned brightly and he basked in her glow. He didn’t like to see that fire dim.

The beat of his horse’s hooves was the only sound he could hear but he caught sight of her up ahead. Her hair had come untucked and it streamed behind her in the moonlight. His blood sang in his veins and he kicked his horse faster.

She was approaching the pond he’d been at earlier that morning and as the landscape opened, she must have caught sight of him because she turned her head.

Slowing her horse, she did an about-face and in the same moment, pulled a pistol from her boot.

“Fiona, it’s me.” Colin held up his hands as he slowed the horse with the pressure of his legs.

“What are ye doin’ followin’ me?” she cried, dropping the pistol to her side and then tucking it away again.

He gave her a broad grin. There was his Fiona. “Trying to keep you out of trouble,” he laughed, as he pulled his horse up next to hers. She was facing the opposite way so that they could easily look at one another.

“I’m not in trouble. I just came out here to think.” She swatted him on the arm.

His own heart seized. He’d proposed this morning and she’d said no. Not that it had been much of a proposal. But all that same, he had and she had rejected him. Is that what she was thinking about? Did she regret her answer? “About what?”

She paused. Her unblinking eyes staring into his. “My da is right, Colin. It’s time I grew up. I can’t keep pretending I’m a child who can run about playin’.”

He understood what she meant. When he returned from the summit, he was claiming his land in the Highlands. Leaving home, taking on the responsibility of others—it frightened him a little but it was time. “I understand why yer da wants ye to marry, and he might be right, but don’t be too hasty, Fiona. Yer passion is special and yer husband should appreciate that.”

“That might be the nicest thing ye’ve ever said to me.” She gave him a glowing smile and without thought he reached for her hand.

Holding her much smaller fingers in his, he spoke softly. “Try to tell yer da that ye understand the responsibility and yer ready, ye just need time.”

She snorted then. “How would yer da take words like that? I’m fairly certain mine would think I was just stallin’.”

He squeezed her hand tighter. “My da is sick, Fiona. And not like before. It’s different.”

Without a word, she leaned over and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. Her body pressed to his was such a comfort, that he didn’t hesitate to pluck her from her horse and pull her into his lap. Burying his face into her silky tresses of hair, he inhaled deeply. She smelled of wind and water and her distinct musk that made him hard everywhere.

“I’m so sorry, Colin. I know it hasn’t been easy fer ye with yer da.” Her hands wound into his hair, rubbing his scalp in a way that was both soothing and exciting.

“He’s such a strong man when he isn’t ill,” he choked on the words. “I hate seein’ him like this.”

“He’ll recover. He always does.” Confusion laced her voice.

He shook his head. “I don’t know this time. He’s got this cough.”

Her breath caught. “Yer mum will take care of him. She’s always carried him through.”

He started then. Because Fiona had put into words something that had always nipped at the edges but he hadn’t allowed himself to think. “I wonder if my da sees it that way.”

Was his father’s mistake allowing love to rule his heart the first time or denying his mother love the second? She’d been a good and faithful wife. Didn’t she deserve his affection?

But he couldn’t think it through further because Fiona’s cheek brushed his as her head pulled back. She was unwinding her hands from his hair and that just wouldn’t do. The only thing that was quieting the turmoil inside of him was her touch and so he dipped his head even further and captured her lips with his own.

They had kissed before. But it never failed to amaze him how different Fiona’s kiss was from every woman who had come before her. While other women were pleasant or fun to touch, Fiona was a spark that began a blaze.

As her lips brushed lightly against his, his belly clenched even as his manhood lengthened. Tingling spread through his entire body. He broke contact only long enough to kiss her again, deeper and harder. A third time, their lips came together, and this time, he slanted her lips open to touch their tongues. He heard her soft groan at the same moment one ripped from his mouth. Pulling her tighter against him, he plundered the softness of her lips, her tongue, until they were both gasping for breath. He’d held back the last time he kissed her, aware it was all new to her. But this time, he didn’t think he’d have the control. He wanted her so much. It was unlike anything that had come before it.

One of his hands slid up her back and grasped her neck, angling her to better drink from her lips. Once satisfied, his hand began gliding down her front until it reached the soft mound of her breast. As he cupped it in his hand, he felt her nipple tighten, and she arched her back to increase the contact. He’d touched her last time, but he hadn’t removed any of her clothing and he had a desperate need to see her without her shirt. He wanted to know the color of her nipples and the curve of her belly.

His hand left the rounded flesh to find the top button of the shirt she wore. She gave a groan of protest, so he promptly brought his other hand up to massage its mate as his right hand worked the buttons free.

“Colin,” she moaned as he slid his hand into the now open shirt so that only her chemise separated their skin.

The urge was growing stronger, to touch her flesh and he pulled at the chemise, wanting to push it out of the way but instead it ripped. He pulled back then only to be met with sight of her pale pink nipple, thrusting out at him from her creamy, pert, and full breast. It was perfection. He let out a guttural noise from his throat as he dipped his head to suckle at it.

Her nails dug into his back as she arched higher. She’d been sitting sideways in his lap but lifting her up, he set her astride him then dipped his lips back down to take her nipple in his mouth again. As his rock hard member came into contact with the softness between her legs, Colin near exploded even as she gasped, rocking against him.

“Mo chridhe.” He grabbed her behind to press her closer.

But she wrenched away from him then. “I’m not your heart,” she gasped, grabbing the edges of her shirt and pulling it together.

Frustration made his neck veins pop as he tried to bring her back against him. “I proposed tae ye this mornin’ ye ken.”

“Yeah, but ye didn’t mean it. If I’d ‘ave accepted, ye probably would have run off. Ye don’t want to marry me or ye would ‘ave asked weeks ago.” She was buttoning her shirt now as she scrambled off his horse. “I ken ye, Colin.”

He sat silently because he didn’t know what to say. She was right. He had done it out of worry for her and, honestly, if they were engaged right now, he didn’t know how he would feel. Happy? Terrified?

She struggled but managed to get on her horse. “I am going to look for a husband as my father wants. I ken it isn’t going to be ye, and that’s all right, but ye can’t stand in my way, Colin Campbell. Ye can’t have it both ways.”

Then she kicked her horse and headed back toward the estate.

Colin hung his head as he watched her ride away. He was getting tired of the sight of her back.

Chapter 6

Fiona galloped off, nothing short of furious. She was so tired of Colin’s indecision. One minute he seemed to want her, the next he didn’t. What was wrong with him and why did she allow it?

Something about his father didn’t sit right but she didn’t know what it was. Laird Campbell’s illnesses had always impacted Colin, made him more distant. But why? Was it just sadness over his father or something else?

As the barn came into view, Fiona swung off the horse and quietly led him inside. She worked quickly to brush the animal down and then put him back in his stall before anyone discovered she’d taken him.

Colin’s mother had been steadfast at his father’s side. She never seemed to get too sad or too rambunctious. Exactly like Colin. Where Fiona was prone to fits of passion, Colin remained calm. Except when they kissed. She loved that side of Colin, when he became impassioned and free.

When she spoke to him again, she’d ask him why his father’s fits upset him so, when little else did. Colin was likely right about a few things, and one of them was talking more. If she shared more with her father, perhaps she wouldn’t be in this situation she was now.

Feeling better prepared, she left the barn and headed for her room. Sneaking in by the kitchen, she skirted the servants still awake and made her way up the stairs to her room.

She breathed a sigh when she reached her hallway but her nerves immediately fluttered again, because her door was ajar and she was sure she’d left it closed.

Pushing it open wider, she was met with the sight of her father sitting on her bed. “Imagine my surprise,” he glowered at her. “I came tae tell ye what a fine job ye’d done this evening only tae find ye gone.”

She gulped. “I’m sorry, Da.”

Surprise crossed his face. “Do tell.”

“I just needed to think. I went out for some air, that’s all.” She was glad he couldn’t see her ripped chemise under her shirt.

“Air? Did that air come on the back of a horse?” Her father’s eyebrows raised.

Fiona ignored the question. “And I think yer right. It’s time I did some growin’ up.” She took a step closer. “I will really consider the suitors here, and I will try to curb myself.”

Her father stood but his look was less angry. “No takin’ off in the night, Fiona. And no slippin’ away in the day. Ye need to participate here and act like a lady.”

“I will.” She took a few steps closer. “Can I ask ye somethin’?”

He gave a curt nod.

“Do ye ken anything about Colin’s father? His illnesses all these years?”

Haggis sat back down on the bed, a grim expression clouding his face. “He’s had them as long as I’ve known him, though they got worse as he got older. He seemed to fixate on the loss of his first wife; but honestly, it started way before that. A sadness he couldn’t shake. Why dae ye ask?”

Fiona’s insides twisted painfully. How awful to watch one’s father waste away. Hers had always been a pillar of strength. “I ken it affects Colin. Even as children, he’d grow sad when his father took tae bed…”

“Colin’s lucky his mother is so steadfast, she kept that family grounded, including Shamus.” He rubbed his temple. “I see so much of Laird Campbell in Shamus, I was worried he’d suffer from the same sadness, but Lady Campbell keeps him grounded, talks him through them. She couldn’t have been a better stepmother.”

“Why would Shamus suffer from sadness just because his father did?” Fiona felt as though she were on the edge of understanding, not quite able to piece it together.

“I dunnae ken but I know the former Laird suffered from the same. It’s a miracle neither Colin nor any of his other siblings do.”

Fiona had a sudden memory. “Colin always seemed to think that his father didn’t love his mother.”

Haggis shook his head. “If that is true, then the man’s a fool. That woman has carried him through life and his children too. She is the person he was always meant to be with.”

She gave a nod and tried not to sigh. Both she and Colin were trying to find their way. Colin seemed caught in his past while Fiona was trying to navigate the present. Which meant acting the part of a heiress and lady.

And that sounded like no fun at all.

The next few days passed in a blur. Colin mostly stayed away from her and Fiona acted the part of a demure lady. She didn’t sass back and she didn’t sneak out for midnight rides. Several more men had begun to pursue this new Fiona. It made her nauseous. Is that what they wanted? A woman who looked at the ground and batted her eyelashes while she agreed with them?

It required no thought and very little energy, and she found herself in a state of half participation. She was there, walking with Lord Halfmann, dancing with Rutland, listening to Alastair’s longwinded explanation as to why Scotland didn’t need to support its people with frivolities such as doctors and schools. It was a position she vehemently disagreed with but rather than argue, she tuned him out while nodding her head.

To the outward appearance, she was a perfect lady.

Her father had smiled the first day, he stared at her the second, and now he seemed to be assessing her with a keen desire to understand what was happening in her mind.

Colin was easier to understand. He looked furious.

Let him be angry. He didn’t want her, it shouldn’t be any of his business how she went about finding a husband.

It was Halfmann who sat down next to her as they waited for dinner in the parlor. She gave him a nod, her mind already wandering away when he did something that jolted her back to the present. He took her hand in his in front of everyone, as though he had the right.

“I’ve been thinking of you a great deal, Fiona.” He cleared his throat.

Fiona tried not to panic. He wouldn’t dare propose in front of all these people, would he? She gently pulled her hand free of his. “That’s kind of ye.”

He nodded as though agreeing. “I’ve told several of the other lairds about our courtship.”

“Courtship?” she chirped out much louder than she intended. It wouldn’t do to be rude now, but she wanted to tell him there was no courtship. It was a promise she had no intention of keeping.

He nodded eagerly, scooting closer. “Don’t you think we could make our match official soon?”

Fiona blinked. The old her would have told him to piss off. But she couldn’t do that, not here. She was learning how to behave but she honestly had no idea how a demure lady told a man that she wasn’t interested. She stood, instead. “I will have to speak to my father.”

He gave her a nod and a smile, looking quite pleased. Clearly she hadn’t been effective. As she made her way across the room, Alastair stopped her. “Halfmann thinks you are all but his,” he hissed looking angry.

She blinked as color flushed her cheeks. She belonged to no one but herself. What was more, Alastair’s anger was unsettling. But she took a deep breath. But she couldn’t say that now, not if the goal was to find a husband and so she tried for another truth instead. “I’ve no idea how to explain to him that isn’t the case.”

He gave her a relieved smile, and patted her arm, his demeanor completely changing. Resentment bristled down her spine, especially when he replied. “You let me take care of that, mo chridhe.”

A huff of breath escaped her as he walked away. She didn’t need him; she didn’t need any of them. She only wanted… She squeezed her eyes shut. She wanted Colin.

The one man she couldn’t have. With a sigh, she followed everyone to the dining room. As the men discussed the events of the day and debated how to keep Scotland’s people on its shores, Fiona turned off her mind. She thought to rides along the loch or the beach. She dreamed of sailing in the wind, and, secretly, of passionate kisses in the hay under the stars.

She barely spoke at all, and when the meal ended, the men began to file out to smoke their cigars and drink their whiskey. She stood too, and crossed to her father.

“Da, may I take a walk on the veranda? I’ll stay within sight if you’ll just wait a few moments to retire to the smoking room,” she murmured. While it seemed polite, her real motive was to keep any of her would-be suitors away. She was tired of all of them.

“Of course, would ye like me tae walk wit’ ye?” His eyes crinkled in concern.

But she shook her head. She didn’t want to talk about it now, and that was what would surely happen if he came out with her. “I’ll only be a moment.”

Then she turned and slipped out the French doors located at the end of the room. A moment of fresh air and peace would do her good.

* * *

Colin watched her walk outside, his gut filling with worry. Looking over at her father, he saw the look he must be wearing mirrored back at him.

He’d known Haggis for as long as he could remember. As he approached, Haggis reached out and placed his hand on Colin’s shoulder. “I’m sorry to hear yer da is ill. Fiona told me he’s taken to bed again.”

He took a breath. “Thank ye, Haggis.”

“Ye know if ye need anythin’, we consider ye to be family.” He squeezed Colin’s shoulder and Colin gave a curt nod.

He appreciated the words immensely, he knew Haggis meant them. But conversations about feelings were never something he’d been comfortable with. “Thank ye. Yer friendship has meant so much to all of us.”

Haggis cleared his throat. “I’ve known yer father most of my life. He’s stubborn, if nothing else. These episodes always pass.”

Colin’s eyes were trained on the floor. “This time is different. He’s ill as well as…” His voice trailed off not wanting to say the words. “Somedays, I dunnae ken what I wish. He’s suffered so much.”

“Aye, he has. Fiona was asking me about yer parents just the other day. I was telling her, yer mother has eased yer father’s suffering immensely.”

Colin looked up then. “I dunnae ken that he would agree. He has missed his first wife.”

Haggis’s mouth turned down as he shook his head. “It’s not my place to say more, but yer father would never have made it this long without yer mother.”

Colin closed his eyes. So his father had been right. His second choice of a wife had been the better one. “It’s hard to ignore the heart.” He muttered almost to himself but he saw Haggis’s eyes narrow. He needed to change the subject. “Fiona is struggling, I ken.”

“I ken ye’ve got a great deal to think about, and I’m sorry to ask with everythin’ that’s happening with yer father, but I am hoping ye might ken what’s happening wit’ her.”

Colin shook his head. Talking about Fiona was a welcome relief. “She’s trying to be what ye want her to be.” He didn’t add that he’d gotten her in trouble to begin with or that he’d made it worse on this trip. If Fiona were sad, he shared the blame with Haggis that was for sure.

“I didnae want this.” Haggis waved in the direction of his daughter. “She is a shell of herself and I dunnae like it at all. One of the best things about her is her spirit.”

“I agree.” Colin tried not to smile. “Have ye talked to her?”

Haggis looked to the floor. “I am trying, but she drifts off every time I start.”

It was Colin’s turn to clap Haggis on the back. “You should try again but I can talk to her first if ye like.”

Haggis jerked his chin, giving his consent. “I think ye should. Thank ye, lad.”

“All right, Haggis.” He looked out to see her on the veranda looking up at the stars.

Skirting around the room, he opened the door softly. “Fiona,” he called.

She didn’t look at him. “What do ye want?”

“Yer father sent me out. He’s worried.” He walked over, standing next to her. While she looked at the sky, he took in her lovely profile.

“This is exactly what he wanted.” She waved her hand, as if dismissing him. “What ye both wanted.”

“I never wanted this,” he spit out. How could she think that?

“Ye don’t want me, so ye must want me tae find someone else.” She had softened her voice and he cursed. Fiona had finally figured out that being quiet was sometimes far worse than being loud.

He wanted to yell that he hated seeing her with other men. That it drove him mad. But he couldn’t say that. “Any man that doesn’t want all of ye shouldn’t have any of ye.”

“What if no man wants me the way I am?” She barely whispered but he could hear the pain in her voice and it nearly undid him. His chest ached and it took all his strength not to drop to his knees.

“That can’t be true. I…” Words failed him. Because the truth was one thing he couldn’t say. He wanted her exactly as she was.

“It is, Colin.” She looked at him then, accusation all over her face. “My da, for all his worry now, has been telling me as much fer years.”

“Fiona, do ye even like any of them? Any of those egits courtin’ ye?” He tried one last tactic.

She shook her head. “It’s only important that I marry. No one cares if I am happy.”

“Now that just isn’t true.” Colin grabbed her arm. “Talk to yer father and tell him how ye feel. He’ll change his mind. He’s ready.”

Surprise lit her eyes but then a dullness glazed them over again. “If I do that, I will continue to be a disappointment. I’m sure of it. I dunnae ken how to be a lady and myself.” She shook her head. “I am strong enough to make a good match and survive it.”

He huffed a breath. “Are ye supposed to just survive marriage? Don’t ye want to be happy?”

She started to answer but then stopped, her gaze appraising him until he near squirmed under her scrutiny. “What do ye want, Colin? Do ye want to be happy?” she asked.

The question hit him in the gut. His father’s advice had always been to make a match that was tolerable. Stay emotionally detached. But thinking of Fiona that way, it sounded terrible. Still he couldn’t let his father’s advice go. He focused on Fiona instead. “You deserve better than that. And ye’ll have it. I swear ye will.”

She shook her head. “I don’t think it’s possible for me.”

“Oh, it’s possible all right.” One way or the other, Fiona would be happy. It wasn’t what he expected for himself but she’d absolutely have it. “I’m goin’ tae help ye.”

“Ye dunnae have to--” But she stopped suddenly her eyes over his shoulder. Without a word she tugged him toward her as something large and heavy glanced off his shoulder, sending pains shooting down his arm.

He turned to see who had attacked him but the figure was cloaked, his hood covering his face. Colin’s arm was limp by his side as he used the other to fend off a blow from the club the assailant wielded.

As the man came at him a third time, he watched Fiona toss a heavy urn at the man, using all her strength to hurtle it. It sailed through the air, catching the man in the chest and knocking him to the side. It was just the opportunity Colin needed to rush in and kick the club from the man’s grasp.

Jumping up, the hooded man ran deeper into the garden. For a moment, Colin wished to follow him but his arm was limp at his side and he didn’t dare leave Fiona.

She came next to him then, touching his chest, shoulders, and arms to check for injuries. When she got to the tender spot on his upper arm, he winced, but it wasn’t as bad as he’d thought it would be. “Thank ye for helping me.” His good hand came to her waist to hold her close.

She slipped her arms around him and pressed him to her chest. “Are ye all right?”

It was so natural for Fiona to fight at his side, check him for injuries, hold him in comfort. More and more often, he questioned the wisdom of his father’s words. But could he put Fiona at risk for a question? He’d seen the destruction love had caused in his own family. They seemed to be cursed when it came to love. “I’ll be fine. It’s not too serious. It’ll ache for a few days is all.”

“That scared me near to death.” She placed her forehead on his chest. His hand came up to stroke through her hair, his breath heaving from his chest. Hopefully, Fiona likely thought it was from the fight. But the truth was, it was her proximity that had his heart racing.

“Ye were so brave, Fiona.” His lips grazed her temple.

She shook her head. “I can’t take the credit this time.” Then she slowly pulled back. “My da will worry if we’re out here for too long.”

He didn’t want to lose her, not yet. “In a minute. First we have to figure out how we’re going to get rid of your current batch of suitors.”

Chapter 7

Fiona looked at Colin her eyebrows raised near to her hairline, hands on hips. “I don’t care about them, we need to talk about who just attacked you and why.

He sighed. He’d bet his inheritance it was Alistair. Same height, build, and the nastiness was a perfect match. “I think those two conversations are one and the same.”

“Ye think one of my suitors did that?”

It was his turn to look up at the stars. “I can’t say for sure. But I can’t think of anyone else who’d want me out of commission. Either way, we need to get rid of yer current suitors. They’re Bod ceanns, the lot of ‘em.” He gave her a wicked grin. It was a naughty Gaelic name for men who are less than upstanding and it made her feel more like herself than she had in days.

“Then what?” she refused to smile, but he could hear the amusement in her voice.

“We can check out some of the other possibilities for potential suitors. I’ll ask around. Maybe I’ll pretend to be infatuated wit’ ye. Nothing gets a man who is considering a woman moving like real competition.” He swallowed, hating this plan. But it wasn’t about him. It was about Fiona. If she needed to marry he’d make sure that she’d had the best options. And he refused to acknowledge the little voice that insisted he himself was the best option.

“Yer real competition, are ye, pretending to like me?” Her hand came to her hip and a smile spread across his face. This was his Fiona. Well not his, but his friend. The woman that he… He stopped himself, focusing on the conversation.

“If that doesn’t work, ye have to appeal to yer father for more time,” he answered more softly. “I won’t be able tae help ye so much once we return home, but…”

“When we get back, it’s me who should help ye. We haven’t had much time tae talk about yer da, but ye ken whatever ye need, I can help ye wit’. I ken things have been different between us, but ye’ll always have my support.”

“Thank ye,” he wanted to pull her into his arms but he couldn’t. He’d already done it once tonight and it only muddled things. “Should my father pass, my brother will need yer father’s help as he transitions into laird.”

“Is it that bad then, yer father’s illness?” She bit her lip.

“I’m afraid it is, though my mother will not say.” He stepped closer and caught a whiff of her scent on the evening breeze.

“I’m sorry, Colin. I’ll make sure my father does whatever he can fer yer brother. But I ken ye’ll help him too. It’s one of yer gifts.”

He shook his head. He should tell her he was leaving, moving away. That he couldn’t help Shamus any more than he’d be able to help her. But she’d only just come back to herself and he didn’t want to watch her slip away again. “Yer father will be a much bigger help than I will.” He cleared his throat. “Give me a little time to come up with some plans. We’ll meet tomorrow night to discuss them.”

Fiona hesitated. That alone annoyed him. Because usually Fiona never hesitated before she jumped into any scheme of his.

“I promised me da that I wouldn’t leave me room.” She looked away again.

He wanted to kiss her right then. He wanted to run away with her so that he could watch her ride wild and free every day of their life. He hated this Fiona who was unsure of herself. But instead, he whispered. “A little something like that never stops the girl I ken.”

She gave him a small smile. “I’m pretty sure me da is watchin’ the door. Yer goin’ to have tae help me out the window.”

A laugh rippled through his chest, his worries about his father slipping away. Fiona was a balm, her spirit lifting him up. “That is the best thing I’ve heard in days.” With a wink he turned. “I’ll be there, tomorrow night at midnight.”

Then holding out his arm, he felt her place her hand in the crook of his elbow. It was small, the touch light, as he walked her back toward the door. Something about it pulled at him. It was more than just the heated moments they’d shared. With her hand like that, he wanted to protect her, keep her safe and make her happy.

With that in mind he began formulating a plan. The current suitors he’d scatter directly, then set himself up as her primary love interest. He’d work on making her look as attractive as possible to see if anyone else stepped forward.

He didn’t want to think about how he would feel if one actually did. Rather he focused on how much he would enjoy sending Rutland, Halfmann, and Alastair on their way.

He’d start immediately. But he’d need Haggis’s help.

With that in mind, he waited for Haggis to escort Fiona upstairs and then he met him in the smoking room.

“How did it go with Fiona?” Haggis asked as Colin sat next to him.

“Better than I expected.” Colin smiled.

“That’s good.” Haggis nodded. “Did she say why she’s been so quiet?”

Colin leaned in. “She doesn’t know how to be a lady without losing herself and none of her suitors are right for her.”

Haggis sat back in his chair a perplexed look on his face. “Ye ken, I thought perhaps she was upset about ye leavin’.”

Colin harrumphed. “I havenae told her yet. I dunnae want to upset her any more than she is with ye forcin’ her to marry.”

Haggis’s eyes grew wide and then narrowed. “I’m just curious to ken who might have kept her out the entire night a few weeks back. I wouldnae have to force this. She needs to be married because she could be ruined at any moment.”

Colin swallowed hard. “Fiona was out all night?”

Haggis leaned forward in his chair again. “I always thought you and her might end up together. Yer closer than any man and woman I’ve ever known. I love me wife wit’ all my heart but ye and her, thick as thieves.”

Colin tried to recover from that but he couldn’t think of what to say other than to ask. “Did ye always love yer wife?”

“From the first moment I laid eyes on her, though I resisted at first.” Haggis cleared his throat. “Best thing I ever did was marry that woman.”

“So love hasn’t ruined yer life?” Colin asked again, hoping the answer was no.

“No son, it didnae ruin my life. It made it the best life it could possibly have been.” Haggis clapped him on the knee.

“It wasnae like that fer me da.” Colin looked down at the massive hand. How different would things have been fer his father if his first wife hadn’t died?

“Colin,” Haggis’s voice was soft. “It’s nae me place to speak on this, but ye told me to talk wit’ Fiona earlier and I am tellin’ ye to talk wit’ yer mother. She knew yer father before his first wife died.”

Colin’s head snapped up. “What does that mean?”

“Talk wit’ her son.” Haggis nodded. “Now, what were ye goin’ to say about the suitors?”

In a low voice, Colin began explaining why he disliked each of them and his plan to use himself as a carrot to attract another bunch. Haggis frowned, but in the end, he gave his consent.

“I’m warnin’ ye though, boy,” Haggis’s voice dropped low. “I allow ye a few liberties to complete the ruse but if ye publicly tarnish her reputation, ye’ll be takin’ a bride to the highlands wit’ ye.”

Colin kept a calm façade on the outside, but inside, he gave a start. He didn’t know if it was excitement or fear. But either way, it would be decided soon.

* * *

The next night, Fiona paced her room waiting for Colin. She kept looking out the window, to see if he was there and wondering what sort of plan he might have to get her outside. Colin had always been her greatest ally in tricks and schemes.

The creak of the sill made her turn her head, and suddenly, he was there, grinning as he unfolded himself from the window.

“I thought ye were goin’ to get me out.” Her hands landed on her hips. “How’s yer arm?”

He shrugged. “It’s fine. This seemed the best place to have a private conversation.”

Her cheeks turned pink. “Ye’ll nae be touchin’ me tonight. If ye do—”

“Yer father has already told me, if I tarnish yer reputation, we’re to marry.”

“Ye told me da?” She couldn’t believe it. How could Colin be so heavy-handed?

One of his eyebrows shot up. “Aye, we talked. Ye ought tae try it sometime.”

“What did ye say?” She moved closer then as he plopped down on her bed.

Her hair was in a loose braid, the wild curls free on the end streamed over her shoulder. His eyes were fixed on it, so much so, she looked down to see if something was stuck in the tresses. “What are ye lookin’ at?”

He gave a small sigh. “I’ve always loved yer hair.” He reached out and his fingers rubbed one of the curls.

Her breath hitched in excitement but she forced herself to back away. “Colin, I’ve already told ye.”

Colin grimaced and dropped his hand but then continued. “Yer father told Halfmann that he didn’t approve of his suit.”

“And the others?” She could only hope that her father had already gotten rid of them.

“Rutland and Alastair haven’t formerly asked fer yer hand, so they need a bit more finesse.”

“Ye dunnae need finesse wit’ Rutland, just punch him in the nose again.” She gave a giggle and he laughed too. It warmed everything inside her to have him commiserating like this.

“Alastair is tougher.” Colin scratched his chin. “He’s vain and cares only about himself even if he wasn’t the attacker last night. Which he likely was. I think we have to have him catch us kissin’.”

“I dunnea think that’s a good idea. What if he tries to hurt ye again? What if he tells everyone? We’ll end up married for sure.” Fiona held her breath wondering what Colin would say next.

He gave her a slow grin. “He won’t catch me unawares again. And he won’t tell anyone. It would hurt his pride too much that he’d been passed up.”

Disappointment niggled through her. She hoped he might say something else entirely. Perhaps, that he wanted to marry her anyway. Of course, she’d known that he likely wouldn’t, but somehow, she couldn’t help but hope.

Giving a nod, she sat on the corner of the bed, as far from him as possible. It made her heart sink because it used to be they’d spend hours laying side by side looking up at the stars, or speckled clouds skittering across the sky.

When had it gone so wrong?

“Fiona?” His voice bit into her thoughts, pulling her back to the present. “Yer doing it again. Drifting off.”

“Sorry,” she mumbled.

“What were ye thinking?” he asked, scooting closer.

She shook her head but then his fingers reached out once again to caress her hair. “Stop.” She gave his hand a gentle swat.

He sighed. “Tell me what ye were thinkin’.”

She looked at him a long moment. It seemed like a bad idea to tell him how she felt, but then again, things couldn’t get much worse. “Fine. But if I tell ye the truth, ye have to answer a question I ask.”

“Agreed,” he rumbled.

“I’m sad because we used to spend time just being together and now it’s uncomfortable. There are barriers between us and I—”

She heard Colin give a groan. Looking up at him, his own gaze was tortured as he stared back at her. “We’re grown now, Fiona.”

She nodded. She wanted to ask him how he felt about her deep down, but she was too frightened, so instead she asked about his father. “Can ye tell me why yer da’s illness makes ye so sad? I ken my father being ill would crush me, but it seems like there is more to it.”

His lids dropped, covering the dark depths of his gaze. “Whenever my father is sad, he speaks of his first wife. She was his one great love. He never felt that way about me mum and he’d tell me so—” His words broke off as he took a deep breath. “He’s been dying of a broken heart ever since.”

“Oh, Colin,” she gasped as she flung herself against him wrapping him in a hug. He held her close, snuggling his face into the crook of her neck. How confusing for a child to think his father didn’t love his mother. And how did that impact his own feelings on love? Fiona could guess that it frightened him to no end.

“If Elswith had lived, I wonder if me da would be happier,” Colin croaked into her neck.

“Don’t think that.” Fiona stroked the back of his head. “Ye wouldn’t be here if that were the case. Besides, me da told me that yer father suffered from the sadness even before Elswith died.”

“What did ye say?” Their bodies had been pressed together. But Colin jerked away from her so quickly, it left her spinning.

“He said that he’d had these bouts as long as my father had known him and that his father before him had suffered from them too.” Fiona swallowed. There was a darkness in Colin’s gaze that she had never seen before and she couldn’t imagine why. Fear skittered along her skin.

“What else did he say?” Colin’s gritted out.

Fiona nibbled on her lip. “I’m upsetting you.”

“Tell me.”

Scooting closer to him, she moved her hand toward his. It was a strange feeling but she needed the reassurance of his touch. “Just that he was worried about Shamus having them too but yer mother seems to ken how to coach him through them. He said yer mother was the best thing that had ever happened to yer family.”

Colin jumped off the bed just as Fiona’s hand was about to touch his. She wanted to run to him and throw her arms around him again. She could see how much her words hurt but she still didn’t understand why. Shouldn’t they comfort him, knowing his mother was of such great value?

But before she could ask another question, he was climbing back out the window. Without a word he was gone.

* * *

It felt as though his head might burst. All this time he’d believed that his father’s sadness was truly caused by a broken heart. What did that even mean for him? He’d spent his whole life believing that love was a foolish choice. How could he possibly change that now?

He wanted to scream at his father. He wanted to ask him why he’d never told him that his sadness wasn’t because of Elswith. But what if he never saw his father again?

Guilt tore through him at his anger toward his da and a new understanding dawned. His mother, the wife his father had chosen with his head rather than his heart, was the one who had held his family together. Perhaps his father had understood that his mother had always been the better choice.

He looked up at the window and saw Fiona looking out, scanning the grounds for him. Then he saw her toss a leg over the side.

It was a ten-foot drop, one he could easily make, but Fiona was far smaller. Sprinting back toward her, he hissed, “Fiona, don’t.”

But he saw her toss her hair, that glorious hair, and he knew what that meant. She wouldn’t listen to him.

Picking up speed, he watched helplessly as she lowered herself out the window, holding on to the sill. Her legs were still dangling several feet above the ground. He was almost to her but she was going to drop and then he’d be too late.

Pushing himself even faster, he was under her just as she let go. Reaching up his arms, he caught her waist and let her body drop against his, catching her up in a hug. He didn’t let her feet touch the ground. “What were ye bloody thinking?”

She huffed in his face, her warm sweet breath fanning his cheeks. “Me? Ye’re the one that went jumping out the window without even respodin’. I’ve known fer a while that yer dad really bothers ye. And now I ken that it has to do wit marryin’ yer mum. But I still dunnae ken why. Are ye gonnae tell me?”

Colin pressed his forehead to hers. The words caught in his throat and he couldn’t push them out. It hurt too much. “I dunnae think I can.”

Lacing her arms around his neck, she pulled him closer. “I’m yer friend. I ken I said that we couldnae be friends anymore but I was angry. I will always be here for ye and ye can tell me anythin’.” Gently, softly she touched her lips to his. “Yer the one that keeps tellin’ me talkin will help.”

Damn her. She was too smart for her own good, using his words against him like that. “My da told me that he never loved my mum. She was the smart choice not the one of the heart like Elswith had been.”

Fiona sucked in her breath and held him tighter. “Oh, Colin.”

“It hurt to think that my father always preferred another woman.” It felt good to say those words and better to say them to Fiona. He trusted her to understand. To support him. “But what hurt as much was that he’s been telling me to marry a woman like my mother. One who is a good choice rather than the one that my heart would choose.”

Fiona nodded. “I understand. My da hasn’t said it exactly like that but he wants me to make a smart choice. One based on title and land, not desire and excitement.”

To think of Fiona marrying a man who didn’t appreciate her made Colin ache. He wanted to tell her that if he were free to choose, he’d choose her. It hit him, as he held her in his arms and told her his darkest secret, that he loved her. No woman would understand him the way she did.

No wonder he’d been so torn. He was in love. It made him want to sing and curse in the same breath. “It’s too late for me. But you can still have love, Fiona. I ken ye can.”

She shook her head. “I dunnae think so.”

Never had he wanted to give in more. He should just marry her. Sweep her off to the Highlands and leave all their families’ meddling ways behind. He pressed his lips to her one last time. “We’ll find a way fer you.”

Looking deep into his eyes, she kissed the tip of his nose. “We’re finding a way fer you too. I dunnae ken how, but we will.”

He wished that were true, but he knew it wasn’t. “Right now, I need to figure out how I’m getting ye back in yer room.”

She grinned. “I’ll stand on yer shoulders.” Before he could protest, she was knotting up her simple skirts and petty coats, so that he could see her undergarments. He closed his eyes for the briefest moment. She tested a man’s strength.

But he didn’t have time to think further before her small hands were on his shoulders, pushing him lower.

She scaled up his back and then he held her hands in his as she balanced her feet on his shoulders. Finding her steady, he stood. Letting go with one hand, she stretched and reached the sill and then his hands locked behind her knees as the other grabbed the sill. Finally, he lifted her up by the balls of her feet, and managed to get her high enough to climb into the window. Her head peeked back out. “Good night, Colin,” she murmured.

“Good night,” he returned. Then much lower so she couldn’t hear, “Mo chridhe.”

“We’re going to figure this out, I swear it.” She gave him a soft smile before she disappeared.

Everything in Colin begged him to follow. He wanted to take her now, make her his, and never let go. But instead, he turned around and walked away. Again.

Chapter 8

Fiona stood watching the men in an axe-throwing competition. How this was supposed to help Scotland, she couldn’t say, but she had a suspicion the truth was that it wouldn’t.

It seemed to help their egos immensely, however, and several of the men grinned and winked at her before they stepped up to throw their axes at the round piece of felled tree set up for the occasion.

Her fingers itched to throw her fist in their faces. But instead, she stood next to her father attentively watching.

“I’ve news,” her father gave her a sideways glance.

Thank the saints, there was some distraction. “What is it?”

“Dumfries’ friend, Laird McKenna, is joining us to represent the south.”

“Keiran is coming.” She clapped her hands, excitement bubbling inside her.

Her father looked surprised and several men looked put out by her display of excitement over another man attending. A few grumbled and one outwardly spit on the ground.

Her father took note of their glares and cleared his throat. “I didnae realize ye’d be so excited to see Keiran.”

“Neither did I,” Colin spoke just behind her, his voice holding a bitterness she didn’t quite understand.

Fiona shrugged. “I miss home and, honestly, I miss the days when Dumfries was my only suitor.”

“Ye had an agreement with him the entire time that ye wouldnae marry.” Her father gave an exasperated sigh.

“Exactly.” Fiona couldn’t help but grin. “I liked that much better.”

“I see yer spirit is back,” her father said sternly, but there was a softness about his eyes.

“Aren’t ye glad?” She turned back to wink at Colin but he’d vanished as quickly as he’d come. Scanning the group, she saw him joining Rutland and the Stewart boys on the other side of the field. How strange.

Her father chuckled. “I am.” There was a moment’s pause before he spoke again. “Dare I hope yer interest is deeper?”

Fiona picked at invisible bits of dirt on her skirt. “He’s my friend only. Besides,” she took a breath, “I think he and Agnes might—”

“No,” her father gasped like a woman. Fiona had to bite back a laugh. “The way those two fight…” he paused. “Then again, perhaps you’re right.”

“When will he arrive?” she asked, looking forward to another friendly face. She was glad Colin was here but things between them were…strained. Maybe Keiran could help her or help Colin. He might have some insight at the very least.

“Later today,” he dropped his head low. “If ye were smart, ye’d use him to make a certain someone jealous.”

“What are ye talkin’ about?” Fiona asked but an excited tingling started low in her stomach. Colin did get terribly jealous sometimes. In fact it was the only time he ever lost his temper. Could she use that to her advantage?

“I leave ye to scheme the details but don’t get yerself in trouble.” Her father patted her arm as he turned his attention back to the throwers.

Fiona decided to test her theory by crossing the field to where Colin stood. As she walked, Alastair came up next to her. She suppressed a groan and reluctantly allowed him to tuck her hand in his arm. She had no good reason she could give him to refuse, but it made her skin crawl to touch him.

“Lovely day,” he pulled her closer in a way that made her uneasy, tension knotting her stomach, but she nodded just the same. She’d learned a few things during this past week and one of them was how to confront problems quietly.

“Tis,” she replied as they reached Colin and the others.

“I see ye’ve found company,” Colin’s voice held a coldness that made it almost unrecognizable.

She batted her lashes at him, ignoring the distance. “Aye, I have.” Unthreading her hand from Alastair, she took two steps to Colin’s side. She heard him give a low grumble from behind her. She’d never been more glad to be next to Colin.

“And how will Lord McKenna feel about that?” Colin nearly spit the words.

He was jealous. A little thrill ran down her spine. But they were supposed to be playing the happy couple. Both to scare off Alastair and Rutland, and to attempt to gain the interest of some of the others. Besides, it made her feel safer to be next to him. She looped her hand under his arm and gave him her best smile. “I only care what ye think.”

He blinked at her several times. Behind her, Rutland coughed and Alastair made another noise deep in his throat. Colin’s eyes darted up to both men and then back to her. “I need to speak wit’ ye,” he muttered as her pulled her away from the group.

“What are ye doin’?” He said as soon as they were out of hearing distance.

“Following the plan. What are ye doin’?” she returned allowing him to propel them further away.

He gave a low growl. “I don’t like the plan anymore. I’ll not be yer pretend beau while ye wait for another man.”

That was when she stopped. “Ye’re just my friend, remember? The whole plan is for me to woo a suitor.” She gave him a cold look. “Ye can’t have it both ways, Colin. Ye can’t be just my friend and be jealous while ye push me away. The plan was always that I was looking for another man.”

“I’m not jealous,” he spit but he was pulling her body closer to his. She found she didn’t mind nearly so much when Colin did it.

Her eyebrows rose. She could hear footsteps behind her and a quick glance proved that Alastair had followed them. It was the perfect opportunity. “Really?” Then she stepped up on tiptoe and pressed her lips to his.

In a second his hands were in her hair, as he kissed her back fiercely. He dipped his tongue into her mouth several times before pulling back. It was just in time as a fist sailed over her head. Colin ducked to one side to avoid the punch.

Sending her spinning off to the side, Colin raised his fists. “I don’t want to have to hurt ye, Alastair.”

“Like you could hurt me,” Alastair snarled. “Yer not half the man I am.” He swung at Colin again, who sidestepped the next blow.

“You mean the type who leaves women stranded with his bastard in their bellies?” Colin threw back. “The type who attacks unawares in the dark?”

“Ye’re a pig’s arse,” Alastair snarled, but he didn’t deny either claim.

Fiona covered her mouth. Colin wouldn’t have said the part about the girl if it wasn’t true, but it wasn’t like him to say such things in front of her. Other men sometimes treated her like one of them, but he had always been gentler.

Alastair took a third swing and Colin ducked and then punched, sending Alastair flailing to the ground.

Colin didn’t wait to see if he’d get up. He simply grabbed her hand and started pulling her back toward the group.

Fiona said little but she found herself terribly nervous. It wasn’t that Colin would ever hurt her, it was more that he seemed angry at her and she didn’t like it at all. “Colin,” she started.

“Not now, Fiona,” he snapped.

She stopped walking. If Colin thought he would drag her around while snapping at her he was sorely mistaken. “Now,” she bit back.

He turned to her and pulled her roughly against him. She didn’t resist as her breath caught in her throat. “Ye’re drivin’ me mad.”

“Why?” she asked in a rush. “Tell me.”

But he didn’t answer. Instead, he let her go and then walked away.

Chapter 9

Fiona gave Keiran another glowing smile as they sat in the library that evening. She’d tried to remember that last time she’d been so happy to see anyone other than Colin.

“Are ye feelin’ all right, lass?” Keiran gave her a funny smile.

“Why do ye ask?” Her grin turned impish. She wasn’t surprised he found her behavior odd.

“It’s just that ye seem different from the last time I saw ye. Both happier and somehow more subdued.” One of his eyebrows arched.

Fiona had only known Keiran a short time. He’d travelled to their home with her potential suitor just a month ago. He was handsome as sin too, in his own way. But he was a rake, and besides, loving one man was all Fiona could take.

Thinking of Colin caused her to inwardly sigh. He seemed to care about her too. He was certainly jealous of other men but he held himself away from her and it didn’t seem she could bridge the chasm between them.

Maybe he didn’t feel the same? But why was he always touching her then? “I need yer help,” Fiona started. Then it all came pouring out. How Colin touched her, scared off other suitors, seemed angry about Keiran coming. About his father and Colin’s admittance that he never expected to find love.

Keiran listened, leaning back in his chair, his legs splayed out in front of him. But his eyes were intent upon Fiona. “Fer ye, it’s always been him, hasn’t it?” Keiran asked softly as she finished talking.

“Aye,” she whispered.

Keiran sat up in his chair then. “The way I see it, it’s one of two things. Either, he’s attracted to you, there’s no denying that, but he doesn’t love ye, lass.” His hand reached for hers as he delivered the words.

Wincing, she took a breath. “And the other.”

“His father’s convinced him that if he loves you, you must not be the right choice for a wife.”

It was as though a cold bucket of water had been dumped on her. Of course that is what his father had taught him. She closed her eyes then, tears burning the back of her lids. “How could I ever undo that?”

“I dunnae ken that ye can.” Keiran gave her hand a squeeze. “But I’ll help ye if ye want to try.”

“Aye, I’ll try.” But she honestly wasn’t certain that it would work at all. In fact, she was nearly positive that it wouldn’t.

“Well, I think our best plan is to use his plan against him.” Keiran gave a chuckle.

“How do ye mean?” Her brow knitted in confusion.

He laughed harder. “We make him jealous. It’ll work better on him than most. He’s already upset about me being here.”

Her hand shot to her hip. “I’m not kissin’ ye, Keiran McKenna.”

Both his eyebrows rose in amusement. “Many a woman has enjoyed my kiss.”

“Has Agnes?” she replied. Agnes was the cousin of her cousin, but somehow the girl felt like family. With her boundless enthusiasm and sweet disposition, Fiona couldn’t help but want to protect her.

To her complete amazement, Keiran blushed. “That hardly seems relevant.”

She clucked her tongue. “And here I spilled my darkest secrets to ye.”

He ran his fingers through his hair and then repeated the gesture. “Agnes is everything good in this world. After the war, what could I give her?”

“Everything,” she replied softly knowing in her heart that he was more than worthy. If only her own future were as clear to her. “You could give her everything and don’t you forget it, Keiran.”

He shrugged then, not looking at her. “Let’s solve yer problems first and then mine.” Clearing his throat, he whispered. “There is to be a hunt tomorrow. Slip away from the ladies, like yer meeting someone but make sure Colin sees ye do it. Based on everything ye’ve told me, he’ll follow. He’ll be jealous when he finds ye. Kiss him then but kiss him like he’s the last man in Scotland. Then tell him the truth. That ye love him, that it’s only him. I ken ye’re putting yerself out there but it’s the only way.”

She gave a humph but she understood. “He keeps saying the same. I need to talk more… Bah!”

He chuckled, giving her a light push on the arm. “He’s a lucky man. If he’s smart, he’ll see that.”

Keiran said his goodbyes, then headed off to speak with some of the other participants. Fiona made her way to her room. It had been a long day and tomorrow might just prove to be worse.

In the quiet of her room, she lay on her bed, picturing Colin next to her. What would it be like to be held close to him? The night in the barn had been better than any in her life.

It was those warm thoughts that finally allowed her to drift off to sleep.

* * *

Colin lay awake wondering why he’d been cursed. Because surely how he felt about Fiona couldn’t be anything else. She was the one woman who would not fade away; she demanded his attention and always would.

He thought about leaving her, moving to the Highlands. It made him ache more deeply than he imagined was possible. Then, he thought of her going with him. Just the two of them galloping through the heather. Laying by the loch and talking for hours as they had done as children.

Why was his father so sure that was wrong? Fiona was stronger than any woman he knew. Surely she could survive whatever ills might befall them.

He was going to lose her. Some other man, like Keiran McKenna, would swoop in and steal her heart.

Colin regretted his jealous fit today. He walked away from her when he should have been helping. Would she forgive him that? He was allowing his jealousy to ruin even their friendship. He couldn’t have that. Tomorrow he would talk to her. Surely there was a way to repair at least that.

It was well into the night before he finally fell asleep.

The next morning, he prepared for the hunt though his heart wasn’t in it. At the first opportunity, he’d seek out Fiona.

Crossing the dew-covered grass, he joined the group of men. Alastair glared at him, while Keiran gave him a wink. He dismissed Alastair. That man was a plague and Fiona well knew it. He wasn’t worried about Alastair. But Keiran, he was far too handsome for Colin’s liking. And so cocksure. Jealousy rose in his chest just thinking about the handsome laird.

He only halfheartedly tried to find the quail they were supposed to be hunting and instead kept his eyes on Keiran.

Mid-morning they stopped and joined the women who’d gathered on the hill to observe the hunt. He saw Keiran whisper in Fiona’s ear and then disappear down the path to the river that flanked the property.

Fiona, glancing both ways to make sure she wasn’t seen, followed.

A red haze clouded his eyes and he set off after them. That man would not lay a finger on her. He wouldn’t allow it.

Breaking into a run, he reached the riverbank and looked both ways trying to spot them through the tall grass that surrounded the water’s edge. A rustling to his right caught his attention and then the distinct gasp of a woman. He took two steps toward them and stopped.

Dropping to his knees, he hung his head. Fiona wasn’t tied to him. It wasn’t his right to barge in and interrupt if she wanted to be there. He was supposed to be helping her find a husband. If he interceded now, he’d made a decision to claim her for his own. She was either his alone or she belonged to another.

He didn’t know what to do.

Chapter 10

Fiona picked her way down toward the river. Keiran had likely already doubled back to give her and Colin some privacy.

The gurgling of the water caught her ears as she slipped a little on a muddy patch. Righting herself, she took a breath when a hand reached out to touch her shoulder.

Turning quickly, she couldn’t decide if she wanted to yell at Colin for being such an arse the day before or throw her arms around him and declare her love.

But it wasn’t Colin behind her. It was Alastair. His face had a dark glint about it, his lips twisted in an ugly grin. “Who are ye meetin’, lass?” His cold voice washed over her.

“Just getting a little air.” She tried to smile but couldn’t quite make her lips work.

“So yer not here to kiss some beau. Another ye’ve led to believe ye’ll marry.” He stepped closer and as he did his hand snaked around the top of her arm.

Fear settled in her stomach as she tried to pull away but her feet just slipped in the mud. Alastair kept her from falling but held her arm like a vice. “I havenae led anyone to believe I’d marry—”

“Shut yer mouth,” he yelled pulling her close. “Ye made a fool of me yesterday. Ye made a fool of me the day before protecting that arse, Colin, when I was givin’ him what he deserved.”

“It was you!” she gasped. “Why would you do that?”

He began pulling her off the trail, near yanking her arm out of her its socket. “I thought I’d eliminate some of the competition. But, I dunnae want to marry ye anyway. All the same though, I’ll have my piece.” He spit and then dragged her against him.

She had only ever kissed Colin. Where his lips were warm, thrilling, magical, this touch left her sick and scared beyond anything she’d felt in her life. She gasped as he raised his mouth but before she could even scream, his lips descended again, grinding against hers as he pulled her to the ground.

Fiona had long considered herself strong and capable, but she was powerless in this moment. He ripped the bodice of her dress, she heard it give and as his hand wrestled between their bodies he gave her breast, still covered in her chemise, a painful squeeze.

She twisted her face away and cried out in agony and rage.

His hand grabbed her chin to pull her mouth back and tears formed in her eyes. She couldn’t stop him, he’d do whatever he wanted.

Fear like bile, clogged her throat and she uselessly tried to push him away.

And then, just like that, he was gone. Hurled off her body, she searched for what had caused her sudden change in fortune and her eyes locked onto Colin’s face. It was twisted in rage and honestly it was the sweetest sight of her life.

He spun Alastair around and planted his fist in the man’s face. Over and over, he hit Alastair, who was as powerless to stop the attack on his body as she’d been just moments before.

As Alastair dropped like a stone to the ground, Colin jumped on top of him, seeming ready to start the attack again. “Colin,” she cried out, lifting her arms toward him. Alistair had gotten what he deserved and she just wanted to leave this place.

Without another punch, he pushed off Alastair and was at her side, lifting her into his arms. Carrying her, he broke into a run toward the house. It was as though he knew exactly what she needed.

She buried her head in his shoulder, not caring about anything other than his warmth. She had no idea if anyone saw him carry her up the stairs, nor did she care. She simply couldn’t let him go.

She heard her door open with a bang as Colin carried her inside. “I should have killed him.” He finally broke the silence when the door closed behind them.

“No ye shouldnae.” She burrowed deeper into his neck. Hot tears finally leaking from her eyes. “Ye can’t just go around killing people and I’d die if they took ye away.”

“I’d die too if I had to be apart from ye,” he whispered then. Tilting her head back, she tried to look into his face to see if he meant the words but the tears blurred her vision.

As she made to blink them away, his lips captured hers in the most tender kiss of her life. He cradled her head in large hands as he softly pressed his lips to hers.

“Do ye mean that?” she whispered as he finally raised his head.

“Aye, I mean it.” There was a pause and then he kissed her forehead. “Wherever I go, yer coming with me, Fiona McDougal.”

Her door banged open again. Startled, Fiona looked toward it to see her father’s towering form standing in the doorway. “What in the bloody blue blazes is going on?” he roared.

Colin, not setting her down, began a rushed explanation of why they were alone in her room.

Her father didn’t say a word as he looked at them both. Then, glaring at Colin, he gritted out, “I’ve never really liked that boy. But why would he do such a thing now? He’s been courtin’ ye.”

Fiona looked at Colin, she knew her eyes were huge. What was she going to say to her father?

“It’s my fault.” Colin gently set her down and then stood to face her da. Colin was tall, towering over many men but her father was gigantic. Colin cleared his throat. “I don’t like him either, and this incident with Fiona proves why. But I didn’t want him courting her and so I kissed Fiona in front of him.”

Her father’s face turned a shade of purple as he pointed in Colin’s direction. “Out in the hall now.”

“Da,” she cried standing. “Don’t hurt him. I’m as much to blame as he is. I’ll do whatever ye want, just don’t—”

“Ye’ll be quiet, young lady.” Her father snapped. “I’ve given ye a lot of rope over the years. Apparently, all ye did with it was hang yerself.” His eyes slashed into her. Then he turned to Colin. “Out in the hall. I won’t tell ye again.”

Colin walked to the door, shoulders straight. Her father fell in behind him and then closed the door with a bang. Fiona jumped and then screamed as a loud crash immediately followed.

* * *

Colin hit the wall and gave a slight grunt as Haggis pushed him. He would not fight back.

“I trusted ye tae do what was best for her.” Haggis’s voice was a raging whisper.

Colin swallowed hard. “I ken.” It was time for the truth. “Though it was the right decision to get rid of Alastair. That man is a plague to women. But I was being selfish too.”

“What makes ye say that?” Haggis crossed his arms as he stood just inches away. His face was still set in rigid lines.

“I wanted Fiona fer myself.”

“Well, yer gonna git her son.” Haggis poked him in the shoulder. “Ye carried her into her room in front of half the assembled guests. Ye’ll marry her for it.”

He tried to keep his face expressionless but he could feel his eyes widening. It wasn’t like he hadn’t known but hearing the words made him swallow. “Marry?”

“That’s right,” Haggis bent his face down to Colin’s.

He wasn’t supposed to marry her. His father wanted him to make a strong match with a dependable woman. But he wouldn’t abandon her now and he couldn’t live without her. Whatever the consequences there was only one choice. “I’m leaving for the Highlands after I report back to my family.”

“She’ll go wit ye and neither myself or yer family will be there to watch ye, so I expect ye to take good care of her.”

He’d never let anything happen to Fiona. That much he was sure of. But being with her every day, how was he going to safe guard his heart? “You ken I will, Haggis.”

Haggis relaxed then. “Well, all right.” He slapped Colin on the back. “The wedding will happen as soon as we return.”

Coin fought down the panic rising. “I’ll need a little time to explain to my family. My father, he wanted me to make a match that was—”

“Fiona inherits an earldom. There is no better match for ye.” Haggis was leaning close again.

Colin looked away. “He wanted me to make a match without emotion. And what I feel fer Fiona…”

“I ken, son,” Haggis rumbled. “She feels it fer ye too. I’ve been hoping for a while that ye’d both figure it out. But ye’ve taken some real prodding.”

Colin nearly fell over. All this time, Fiona thought her father didn’t want her to make a love match. But her father had been scheming from the beginning. “Haggis, ye don’t mean to tell me that ye planned this whole thing?”

He chuckled. “How could I have done that? Yer both as unpredictable as the wind. But I thought ye might come around if another match was imminent and, let’s be honest, if it wasn’t Dumfries in that barn with her, who else was it?”

“She’s her father’s daughter.” He quirked an eyebrow. It became more apparent where Fiona got her desire to skirt rules and make plans.

The door wrenched open and Haggis, moving more quickly than Colin had seen in years, grabbed him by the collar. “Close the door, Fiona!”

The door snapped shut again. “Why did ye do that?” Colin asked wondering what Haggis was about.

“I’ll leave ye to ask Fiona to marry ye, but I’m tellin’ ye son. Ye better not say, ‘because yer father said we had tae.’ She’ll never agree to that.” Haggis stopped clutching his collar and instead, patted it back into place. He was putting on a show for his daughter. Making Fiona think that Haggis was angry at him. He knew his daughter so well. “However ye ask, ye’d better make it good. And might I suggest, ye allude to the fact that I wouldn’t approve.”

Colin could barely nod his agreement as he stared at Haggis. All this time, he’d understood his daughter perfectly. “May I speak with her now?”

Haggis grimaced but gave a nod of approval. “Ye better make good on the marriage or I’ll find ye.”

Colin was absolutely certain that Haggis meant every word. And the man was right. Now was not the time to ask Fiona to marry him, he needed to court her. Woo her into accepting. With that in mind, he returned to Fiona’s room.

Because he’d made up his mind. It didn’t matter what Haggis wanted or his own father. He knew what he wanted and it was Fiona. He loved her. He couldn’t watch her go off with another man and so he’d find a way to marry her and keep her safe.

She sat at the vanity, her hands clasped together, drying mud falling to the floor. Never had she looked more delicate, less certain of herself.

Her green eyes were wide with fear and uncertainty. As soon as she saw him, she stood and rushed across the room. He opened his arms and wordlessly folded her into his embrace.

She curled into him. “Oh, Colin.” Her voice shook as her hands bunched up in his shirt.

“It’s all right now, love. Nothing’s going to happen tae ye.” He began stroking her hair. “I won’t let it.”

“I was more worried about you. Was my father terrible?” She looked at him, her normally creamy features pale with worry.

He stroked her cheek. “No, lass, he was fine. It’s ye that has to be taken care of.”

“What do ye mean?” She leaned back further and he couldn’t help it. He pressed his lips to hers in a kiss that spoke of what was in his heart.

“Ye’ve been too open to harm this trip. I dunnae like it at all.” His thumb continued to stroke her cheek. “No more schemes fer marriage. Fer now, just stick close. I’ll talk tae yer father about leaving the summit early.”

“Ye talk wit my da an awful lot.” Her eyebrows rose as some of the color returned to her cheeks.

Colin relaxed at the sight. This was his Fiona. “Aye, that we do. Do ye have a maid that ye can call upon to help ye bathe and change?”

“Aye, there is one on staff who has been helping me.”

He gave her a perplexed look. “Why didn’t ye bring yers?”

She shrugged. “This trip has been humilatin’ enough without more witnesses.”

Nodding, he kissed her one more time. “Just tell her ye fell in the mud.”

Her hands tightened in his shirt again. “Where will ye go?”

“I’m not leavin’ ye if that’s what yer askin’. I’ll be right outside the door and once yer ready, we’ll spend the day in the library. Much as I’d like to, I can’t stay in yer room.”

A ghost of a smile passed her lips before she crossed the room and rang the bell.

An hour later she came out of the room, bathed and coiffed. Colin caught his breath. Fiona had always been beautiful, but as she matured, he swore she grew more and more lovely.

He reached for her hand. “Ye look radiant.”

“Radiant?” One corner of her mouth curled up, but she gave his hand a squeeze.

He tucked her hand in his elbow. “I meant what I said earlier, Fiona. We’re partners now, always have been. We’ll not be separated again.”

Chapter 11

It wasn’t the declaration of love that her heart cried for but it was something that she needed to hear all the same.

No one made her feel safer than Colin. She only hoped he truly did mean the words, because he’d told her that once before. And after what had happened by the river, she was too fragile for broken promises. “I don’t want ye to say it, if ye don’t mean it.”

“I mean it,” he assured her.

“Colin,” she took a breath. “Ye’ve said it before.”

He grimaced. She watched, and for a second she held her breath expecting him to turn and leave. But he didn’t. “I ken. I’m sorry.”

“Thank ye,” she replied giving his arm a squeeze as they set out for the library.

They passed by several members of the summit who gave them curious glances, but no one openly asked any questions and Fiona was content to cast her eyes to the floor and let Colin stare them into submission.

There were days when she was strong, able to conquer the world, but today was not one of them and, she had to admit, it was so nice to have Colin to depend on in those times. She hadn’t expected that—to like being cared for. But now, when she was so vulnerable, his strength was a buoy.

They sat in the library as others came and went. They attended lunch together and then returned to library. Fiona nearly laughed several times because it was the longest time they’d spent sitting still their entire lives.

She kept glancing over to Colin to see if he’d grown restless but each time, he only winked at her.

By dinner, any fear Fiona might have had after the attack had been replaced with absolute boredom. Her legs bounced with the need to move and her fingers itched to plant themselves in Alastair’s face.

Neither was likely to happen. Alastair had been carted off to his bed, while Colin insisted they stay confined in the house. People were whispering quietly about his beating as they glanced toward her and Colin, but Colin pointedly ignored it and she followed his example.

Just before it was time to return to the dining room, Keiran strolled into the library. He was wearing his usual devil-may-care expression and Fiona heard Colin give a low rumble at the sight of the other man. She glanced over to see Colin’s face set in menacing lines, which made her realize she hadn’t explained to Colin that it had been a ruse.

One of Keiran’s eyebrows shot up and his stance widened at the sight of Colin’s dark expression.

Jumping to her feet, she stepped between the two men. There had been enough fighting for one day.

But Colin didn’t seem to think the same. “I hope ye’ve a good explanation fer yer behavior.”

“Which behavior is that?” Keiran asked, his voice dropping low and menacing.

Fiona knew Colin could take on nearly any man, but Keiran was broad and strong and a soldier fresh off the battle lines of India. Besides, Keiran had been helping.

“He didn’t do anything, Colin.” She turned toward him as she spoke, appealing to him silently to listen. “He was only trying to help me.”

“Help ye with what?” Colin’s voice softened as he spoke to her but his face remained dark and rigid.

“Convince ye to court her already,” Keiran replied, sounding irritated. “Seems to have worked.”

Colin started toward the other man, trying to go around her, but Fiona jumped in front of him again. “The only thing it did was open Fiona up to attack,” Colin ground out between his teeth.

Fiona said a silent prayer the other occupants of the library had left for dinner.

“Attack?” Keiran asked stepping closer to her. He lifted his hand to touch her shoulder, but Colin batted it away, the sound of flesh smacking flesh filling the quiet room.

“What were ye thinkin’?” Colin’s voice grew louder with every word as he stepped loser to Keiran.

“Colin,” Fiona appealed again. “I just wanted…that is to say…I was trying to make ye jealous.”

Fiona bit her lip. If Colin needed an excuse to flee, she’d just given him one. It wasn’t her finest moment, trying to trick him, but then again he hadn’t made it easy.

“Ye did what?” Colin searched her face.

Taking a step closer, she reached up her hand to lay it on his chest. Swallowing a lump in her throat, she decided to follow the advice she’d been given a great deal lately. Everything that had happened in this past day had laid her open and she couldn’t hide anymore. As much as Colin drove her mad, he was also the one person who was always there when she needed him. “I love ye, Colin Campbell. And I wanted to try and make ye jealous so that maybe ye’d see that ye wanted me in return.”

Colin’s mouth fell open as he stared at her. He tried to step around her again but she grabbed his arm. He wasn’t going to leave again.

“Let me go.” He halfheartedly tried to jerk free of her grasp and she took that to mean he didn’t really want to go.

“Nae,” she took a breath. “Ye’re not running away this time. I might be scared but I am still Fiona and I’m tired of the sight of yer back.”

He stopped, his breath sucking in. “I wasnae going anywhere except to punch McKenna in the face.”

Her own stomach fluttered but she went on. “It was yer idea to kiss in front of Alastair. I’m not blamin’ ye. Ye didn’t ken what he’d do, but ye can’t blame me either.”

“I don’t blame ye,” Colin grated out. “I blame Alastair and I blame him.” He jabbed his finger toward Keiran. “I’d never set up a plan that left ye alone and vulnerable.” Colin glared at Keiran.

Keiran coughed behind her and she turned to see a dismayed look, rather than a cocksure one on his face. “Is anyone going to tell me what happened?”

Fiona shook her head. “I cannae. Ye have to tell him, Colin. I need ye to hold my hand when ye do.”

She heard his breath hiss out but then he did as she requested and took hold of her hand. In clipped tones, Colin told Keiran what had happened down by the river.

With each word, her spine stiffened, until his arm came around her. She held back the tears that formed, there was no use in crying now. But she was glad Colin was next to her. It helped her to be strong. Once Colin was finished, Keiran cleared his throat.

“I’m so sorry our plan put ye in that position.” Keiran scrubbed his face with his hands.

Colin squeezed her tighter. “Ye should be. If ye hadn’t left her—”

Keiran stepped closer. “Fiona is my friend. So I am going to tell ye that ye have left her far more exposed than I ever did with yer indecision and yer little games.”

It was Colin’s turn to look stricken. Fiona took a deep breath. Normally, she’d lose her temper with both of them, but instead, she stepped between them once more. “Enough blame. We’ve all made mistakes.” Biting her lip, she turned back to Colin. “I told ye how I felt, in front of him, no less. Does it really seem like I have feelings for Keiran?” She ignored the voice that complained he hadn’t returned the sentiment. Right now, she needed to right things between the two men. Keiran was her friend and Colin was…

Best not to finish that thought.

Colin sighed, “I suppose not.”

She gave his hand a squeeze. “He is my friend.”

Collin grunted again. “I’m yer friend. Look where that has gotten—”

“And as Dumfries is married to my closest cousin, we’re bound to see each other on occasion.”

Another low grunt.

“Besides, he’s in love with Agnes.”

Colin chuckled at the same time Keiran made a guttural noise low in his throat.

“I am not,” Keiran protested.

Fiona raised her eyebrows. “Protest if ye must.”

“Or don’t,” Colin cut in. “I’m tired of yer voice anyhow. If yer in love with the woman, what are ye doin’ here?”

Keiran snorted then. “Look who’s flappin’ his gums. Ye’ve been runnin’ away from yer feelings since I met ye.”

Fiona started, looking to Colin to see how he might react. Would he declare his feelings?

He didn’t. Instead, Colin looked ready to spit. Sighing to herself, Fiona declared the situation hopeless. There was no hope for men who wanted to tussle and Colin Campbell in particular was as thick-headed as they came. “Let’s go to dinner, shall we?”

She turned without waiting for Colin’s response. It stung that he hadn’t returned her sentiment of affection. If he had been anyone else, she would have given up on him. But he’d been in her life for as long as she could remember and she was a fighter. Even when it was foolish.

* * *

Colin watched her walk through the library door. He knew he’d made a mistake. She’d told him that she loved him. And instead of saying it back, he’d grown angrier at Keiran. Mostly because it was easier.

It was one thing to admit his feelings to himself. But to say them out loud, that was another matter entirely. And to say them to her… Well, he’d be officially rejecting his father’s lifelong advice and Colin felt like a traitor.

But how was he going to propose to Fiona in a way that she’d accept? He hadn’t done a very good job of wooing her up to this point.

Walking past Keiran he gave the man a shove. Keiran’s eyes narrowed and he fell in step behind Colin.

Colin was just congratulating himself on getting a lick in without Fiona seeing, when a foot tangled with his, nearly sending him crashing to the floor.

He heard Keiran chuckle behind him. “Anytime ye want to tangle, ye let me ken.”

Colin cocked his head to the side. “Think ye can beat me?”

“Ye look big enough, but aye, I’ll beat ye,” Keiran replied behind him.

“Ye’re on,” Colin crowed, a glint in his eye. In all seriousness, hearing that Keiran had feelings for Agnes, and knowing that Fiona had declared her love in front of this man, made Colin feel a lot better. At this point, a little fighting was a bond of friendship.

Entering the dining room behind Fiona, Colin stopped for a moment and turned to Keiran. “I’m asking Fiona to marry me. But until I do, I’d appreciate it ye’d help me keep an eye on her.”

Keiran nodded. “Why not just ask her?”

Colin’s eyebrows rose. “I thought ye ken Fiona. I already did and she said no.”

Colin could tell the Keiran was attempting not to grin. “Why would she do that?”

“I didn’t ask right.” Colin watched as Fiona took her seat at the table. He saw several men watching her. “My life would be so much easier if I could find a simple woman who didn’t push me so hard.”

“Aye,” Keiran nodded. “I’ve thought the same.” He shook his head. “Why does it have to be so hard?”

Colin winked. “Because then it wouldn’t be fun.” The truth was he needed a woman like Fiona to box his ears when he was being an arse.

Both he and Keiran took their seats and Colin watched as men around the table attempted to attract Fiona’s attention. By the end of the meal, Colin was as tight as a violin string after watching them flirt with her.

Fiona was subdued and her eyes travelled to him often, which was the only thing that kept Colin in his seat. He’d better figure out how to ask her soon, because otherwise he might go mad.

At the end of dinner, Haggis appeared at her side to escort her upstairs. She glanced over at him, her eyes pleading and fearful, he knew she didn’t want to be alone.

He mouthed a single word later and then headed for the smoking room. He wanted to hear what the other men were saying.

Stationing himself in a dark corner, it didn’t take long for the conversation to turn to Fiona.

“She gets more beautiful by the day,” one man called out.

Another snorted. “A handful, that one.”

“Did ye see Alastair’s face? Did she do that or did Campbell?”

“Those two should marry already. He can’t stand another man lookin’ at her.”

“He’s likely ruined her, anyhow. Haggis allows him too many liberties.”

Colin’s fists clenched at his sides. Gossiping women, the lot of ‘em.

“I’d like to take a few liberties,” another jeered.

But another snorted. “Do ye like yer face? I wouldn’t tangle wit that lass unless ye’re ready to have it beaten. Did ye see Alastair beaten to a bloody pulp? Colin’s gonna get the filly and the title.”

There were grumblings at that until another piped in. “If he wanted either, he’d likely have them by now. That means she’s still fair game.”

His fists tightened. She was a person, not a horse or a deer. And she certainly wasn’t just a title. And he was to blame for this. In his attempts to keep her safe, he’d made the entire situation worse. How could he not have seen this sooner?

Suddenly he knew how to ask her to be his wife. It would take nothing less than bearing it all.

Once the subject of conversation had moved onto other things, he slipped back out to the hall. Making his way to the back door, he crept outside and walked around the house until he was beneath her window.

It didn’t take long before he saw her scanning the night and he waved his hands.

She motioned him forward.

In an instant, he scaled the wall and swung himself in through the window.

She stood staring at him and, though the words crowded his mouth, he couldn’t seem to push them out. She was so lovely and all the emotion he’d been holding back came rushing to the forefront.

Finally, she stepped closer to him and simply said, “I’m glad yer here.”

Chapter 12

Fiona stepped into his arms. She was determined today to not think about what Colin hadn’t given her.

Instead, she wanted to focus on what he had. He’d kept her safe. He’d made a promise to stay by her side. It had to be enough for now.

“I’m glad to be here.” He wrapped her in his arms. “I want tae talk tae ye.”

Fiona swallowed the lump in her throat. Did anything good ever follow those words? She doubted it. “I don’t want tae talk. Not today.” She pressed closer to him. “Please.”

He sighed, long and heavy. “It’s important that we do, but I’ll wait a bit if ye really want tae.” Then he picked her up in his arms and crossed the room.

Sitting on the bed, he snuggled her close, letting her legs drape across his lap and her head rest on his chest. Nuzzling her face into the hollow of his throat, Fiona knew this was where she wanted to be always. Her arms wrapped around him and her eyes fluttered closed. It was safe and warm.

She wouldn’t tell him so. She’d already shared too much. Instead, she relaxed against him, drawing from his strength. “I thought dinner would never end. Has my father told ye when ye’re goin’ home?”

“I’ll talk tae him tomorrow.” He laced his fingers through hers. “Then we’ll have to decide if we want tae have the ceremony at yer family’s church or mine.”

“What?” Her body had started that tingling again. Starting low in the pit of her stomach and spreading outward until every inch of her felt alive.

“Fiona,” he cleared his throat. “I’ll cherish ye like no other man in Scotland ever will. Not because of yer title but because ye are who ye are. I wouldn’t want ye any other way.” He kissed her then, tilting her chin up with a gentle touch. “Please say yes.”

Fiona caught her breath. It still wasn’t a declaration of love, but it was close enough for now. Colin wouldn’t try to change her, she’d be free to be herself. Perhaps, in time, he’d return her feelings.

She ignored the voice inside that cried for him to love her. In time perhaps, he would. And for now, this was more than she hoped for. “Yes,” she said and then she kissed him again.

This kiss was tender but underneath that was the passion that had been burning between them, held at bay. Here they were alone in her room, engaged to be married. Fiona didn’t want to hold back anymore.

Colin fell backwards, landing on the mattress with her on top of him. Sliding up his body, her hands rested on his cheeks as she deepened the kiss. Opening her mouth to him, their tongues tangled together until they were both breathless.

“Fiona,” Colin gasped. “I don’t want tae frighten ye after what happened today.”

She lifted her head then to look down into his eyes. She wanted him to know how deeply she meant these words. “I could never be frightened of you. This is where I am safest.”

His hands came to her cheeks and they held each other as he kissed her long and slow. Then he slid them down her neck as he began to undo the buttons of her dress. She’d expected him to be more frantic. This moment had been building for a long time. But today had taken a toll on both of them and his movements were slow and steady. Soothing as well as sultry.

When the dress was undone, he slid it from her shoulders and down to her waist. Then rolling her over onto the bed, he stood as he shimmied it off her hips. His fingers came to the stays of her corset and, flicking them apart, the garment fell away.

Then he shed his own jacket and cravat before gathering her in his arms to kiss her again. The feel of his chest pressed to hers, with almost no clothing between them fanned the flames building inside of her.

She began running her fingers up and down his back, noting the ridge of each muscle, the feel as they flexed. Unable to help herself, her hands pressed between them to do the same to his chest.

He lifted his head then, his eyes holding a wicked glint. “Would ye like to see what I look like without my shirt?”

She bit her lip, feeling devilish herself. “Oh, aye.”

He removed the garment and his dark skin was exposed. Fiona felt her breath catch. She’d seen him without his shirt before, but it was different. Reaching out her hands, she let them trail along his abdomen, tracing the patterns along his skin. “Yer beautiful,” she murmured as she bent to kiss the path her hands had just travelled.

He sucked in his breath. “Fiona, ye’ll be the death of me. I have to keep my head.”

Straightening, she looked him in the eye. “Did I do something wrong?”

“Nay, lass.” He shook his head. “Most innocents don’t act like that. It’s not that I’m complainin’, I just didn’t expect it and I want this to be perfect for ye. But I should have known better. Ye never do anythin’ halfway.”

She leaned away from him then. He made her unsure, which was odd, but her uncertainty vanished in the next instant as he made to remove her pantaloons. “Let me show ye how hard it is tae keep yer control while someone kisses yer body.”

The ache between her legs tightened with his words and she understood. Colin wanted to be gentle with her and her passion was making it difficult. She’d allow him to move at his pace this time. But the next time…well that would be completely different.

As he stripped the last of her clothing off, his lips began to kiss down her neck, light touches that spoke of an emotion she didn’t dare hope for. But he was being achingly gentle with her and she appreciated it so much.

As he came to her breast, he softly sucked the nipple of each one into his mouth. She cried out, wanting so much more from the touch as her hands tangled into his hair.

“They are so perfect,” he groaned sucking each one a little harder. “I could spend hours making love to just them.” And he kissed a path down one, nuzzling the underside before starting a trail down her ribs.

She understood his previous dilemma when his lips reached her abdomen. The ache between her legs tightened to an almost agonizing need and she felt herself pushing his head lower as her legs opened wider in invitation. He’d been right, she rarely did anything halfway and right now, she wanted all of it.

When his lips touched her most intimate place, she bucked without meaning to, but the sensation was like nothing she’d felt before. A low groan fell from her parted lips as he tasted her again and again.

Digging her fingers into his scalp, her body urged him on as her voice, hoarse with desire, cried his name over and over.

When he slid a finger into her most intimate place, she couldn’t stand it anymore and cried out his name. She broke. In her heart, she knew she was his forever.

* * *

Colin would never, as long as he lived, touch another woman. He belonged only to her. Stranger still was that he knew this was barely a taste of the passion that was to come. Fiona was a woman who gave completely.

Sliding back up her body, he kissed her along the way, reveling in the beads of perspiration that had formed from their lovemaking.

He’d felt the smooth tightness inside her body, so soft and ready and it called to him now. Soon they’d be joined forever. More even than the vows they would take, this was the moment, he knew that nothing would be the same.

He pressed the tip of his manhood to her opening, wanting to give her time, trying to go slow. But Fiona never waited for what she wanted, and she thrust up, taking him inside her.

He groaned out his satisfaction, even as he felt her twinge of pain. That was when he rolled them both over, never leaving the warm cocoon of her body. With her resting on top of him, he kissed her lips again. “Ye move whenever yer ready, love. I’ll wait as long as ye need.”

“Tell me what to do,” she said as she wiggled on top of him, causing him to groan again. Always impatient.

“Just slide it back out and then in again and see how it feels.” He gritted his teeth to keep himself still, trying to be as careful as possible.

She did as he suggested and he knew without a doubt that the pain was gone. She gave a low groan of satisfaction. “Why didn’t we do this sooner?”

“I couldn’t say,” he panted as she repeated the movement.

Over and over she moved and no other words left his lips. It was too powerful, the need growing inside him. He wrapped his arms around her waist and held her tight to his chest. He’d never let her go. Not ever. They belonged together.

He briefly wondered why he had wasted so much time. They belonged together but he lost himself in the moment. It was too powerful for thought.

And then he felt her tightening again. Her movements sped up, grew erratic as she panted his name.

He knew the moment she shattered, and his own desire spilled over. Then, together, they floated back down.

It was several minutes before he could speak, but when he finally did, he lifted Fiona’s beautiful face off his chest where it had rested, and captured her lips with his. Then he said, “Ye never did tell me which church ye wanted to marry in.”

She grinned. “Let’s see how yer father fares. Then we’ll decide.”

His Father. Colin held back a groan.

Chapter 13

As the sun peeked into her window, Fiona woke to Colin kissing every inch of her face. “I’ve got to go,” he whispered. “The maids will be comin’ soon.”

She gave a nod. He was right, he couldn’t be found here, but she didn’t want him to leave. Things went to hell when they weren’t together. “Will I see ye later?”

“Of course.” His kiss moved to her lips. “I’ll be with ye just like yesterday. Maybe we can ask Keiran to chaperone a walk fer us so that we can get out.”

“Now yer worried about a chaperone?” she giggled. He’d never concerned himself with that before and now he really had thoroughly and completely ruined her.

He slid his lips over her jaw even as his hand slid under the covers to catch one of her breasts. He kneaded the flesh, working the nipple until he wiggled down lower, taking the peak in his mouth. “Have I told ye how perfect these are?”

“Aye, ye have.” She gasped as he sucked harder, wetness pooling between her legs…again.

He gave a little sigh as he pulled away. “Leave yer window open again tonight,” he whispered in her ear. “And I want Keiran with us in case we need to beat someone, not because I care about being chaperoned.” He rose from the bed and Fiona couldn’t help but admire the view.

Crossing to her dressing screen, he pulled down her night shift she’d yet to use and brought it back over to her. The front side of him made the ache deepen. There were so many things she wanted to try. Her blood was boiling by the time he reached the bed.

She shed the covers and got up on her knees as Colin approached. He let out a low groan as his manhood stiffened wantonly. “Fiona,” he rasped. “We can’t be caught.”

She rolled her eyes but something else niggled in her belly…fear. She wanted him to lose himself in the same passion she was. And she didn’t want him to go.

Because when he left…well she’d been down that road before. That’s when things started to go wrong. “I don’t want to think about the consequences. I just want to feel ye.”

“I want that too,” he said as he wrapped her in his arms. “But as my wife, I don’t want to give anyone cause to think ill of ye.”

Her doubt was growing and this little voice told her that if he left, they’d start all over again. “Ye meant it? Yer proposal last night?”

“Of course, I meant it.” His eyebrows drew together.

“Because ye’ve made me promises before.” She stood on the bed looking down into his eyes.

For a second, anger flashed across his features, followed by guilt. “I’m going to hell fer that, but I meant it. We’re gettin’ married.”

With a nod, she kissed his lips and then pushed him away. She’d trust him because he was her best friend They’d spent their lives together and she knew, deep down that he would be there for her. It was only recently that doubt had crept in and she pushed it away now. “All right, then. I’ll see ye at breakfast.”

His eyes wandered over her. “Ye ken ye’re standing on a bed naked as the day ye were born with yer hands on yer hips?”

“What of it?” she asked, a niggle of hope catching in her throat as she spoke.

Quick as a snake, he reached his hands out and grasped her waist pulling him to her. “Maybe I can leave in just a few minutes.”

She wrapped her legs around his waist as he carried her behind the dressing screen, already pressing inside her. Oh this was going to be fun…

The rosy glow she felt lasted until well into breakfast. But the longer she sat without Colin the more worried she became. After more than an hour, she rose to find him, ready to tell him what she thought of him making her wait. But her father found her instead, his face grim, as he came striding toward her as she stood in the entrance of the dining room.

“What’s wrong?” Her hand came to her throat, she couldn’t stand the formalities now.

Taking her by the elbow, her father pulled her out of the dining room and started down the hall. “It’s nothin’ to worry about really.” Trying several doors he found one that opened and pulled her into a comfortable sitting room. “Colin’s mother sent a missive for him to come home right away.”

“What?” Not knowing what else to do she sat on one of the settees. Her heart hammered wildly in her chest. It couldn’t be. Colin did not leave her again. It just wasn’t possible.

“I delivered the letter to him myself. I dunnae ken if his dad passed or if it was somethin’ else entirely but he left early this morning. Said he’d find ye as soon as we came home.” Her father reached for her hand but Fiona didn’t take it. There had to be more than that.

“Did he say anything else? Anything about me?” She could hear the shake in her voice. She was trying to understand. If something was wrong with her father, she would have raced to his side. But without saying goodbye?

“You?” Her father cleared his throat. “No, he didn’t mention anything specific. Did he say anything to you about the future or anything else? Did he ask ye anything?”

Why was her father being evasive and why wouldn’t Colin have told him about the engagement? “Why would he say anything to me?” She could feel her voice becoming shrill.

“Fiona, there is nothing to worry about. As soon as we get home, we’ll go to the Campbells—”

“We won’t,” she cut in. “He’ll come find me or I’ll never speak to him again.”

Her father’s jaw clenched. “I’m not gonnae argue wit ye know but this conversation isn’t over. And try to remember, Colin might be sufferin’ after readin’ what was in the letter.”

Fiona gave a nod. “I’ll try,” she swallowed. “It’s just feel like Colin is always pullin’ away.” She wanted to trust him and part of her did. Always had. But a tiny doubt was creeping in that this was just like the last time in the barn.

Her father reached for her hand. “That boy loves ye. Don’t forget it.”

* * *

Colin pushed his horse faster, racing to get home. What if his mother had called for him to say his final goodbyes to his father and he missed it?

It was a day’s ride from the Stewarts’ to his home and he’d left in a rush so that he might make it before nightfall. Depending on what greeted him, he’d turn around and head back first thing in the morning. He’d made a promise to Fiona and he’d broken it again. If he didn’t make his apologies post haste, she might never forgive him. His gut clenched as he pushed his horse faster. Perhaps he should have waited to leave and explained first.

But he’d wanted to have this done and get back to her as quickly as possible. He loved Fiona, he knew that now. She was his everything.

Reaching a small village, he managed to change his horse before he continued on. Not wanting to take the time to eat, he was tired, hungry and sore by the time he finally arrived at the Campbell Estate.

Dragging himself through the doors, the butler immediately ushered him to his mother’s favorite sitting room. Lady Isabelle Campbell was still an attractive woman and she stood gracefully to greet her son.

“Colin.” She kissed both his cheeks, beaming at her eldest child.

“Mum,” he looked at her, completely perplexed. “I came as soon as I got yer note. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” her smiled widened. “In fact, yer father is far healthier than he’s been in some time. Isn’t it wonderful?”

Colin stared at her. “I left without saying goodbye. Stormed out and rode the whole day without rest or food because father is better?”

She blinked. “Oh, Colin, I am so sorry. I should have been more specific. I just wanted ye to come home and spend some time with him before ye left fer the Highlands.”

Colin tossed himself into a chair, covering his eyes with his arm. “I asked Fiona to marry me last night.”

“That’s wonderful news.” His mother clapped. “She is a perfect choice fer ye.”

“Then I left her this morning without a word. She’ll think I’ve abandoned her.”

His mother sank down next to him. “She’ll understand. I’ll tell her the mistake was mine.”

“I don’t ken that she will, and honestly, I’m not sure if I should hope that she takes me back or that she doesn’t.” Colin didn’t uncover his eyes.

“Why would you say that?” his mother gasped.

“I love her, Mum. I can’t pretend anymore that I don’t.” His chest tightened painfully.

“Why would you want to?” She gently touched his arm.

He sat up then, his arms dropping to his side. “Why would I want to?” he repeated, staring at her. “Da has been telling me my entire life not to marry for love, to marry a woman more like you.”

His mother blinked. Then, unbelievably, she blushed. “Colin, he married me for love.”

“That can’t be. He’s so sad and he always blames her death on himself and on love. He’s told me time and again to pick a woman who is strong.”

“His marriage to Elswith was arranged by his father. It’s part of the reason he hasn’t planned anything for you boys. He wants ye to decide for yerselves.”

Nausea was rising in Colin’s stomach. “How is that possible? He said—”

“What did he say?” She sat up too, lines of worry marking her face. Had she not known? What a mess.

“Not to make the same mistakes that he had. To marry someone dependable and strong like you.” Colin’s fists were clenched but he forced his voice to soften. He didn’t want to hurt his mother. “That love would break yer heart, that’s what he said.”

“Oh, Colin,” his mother reached for his closed hand. “He married Elswith out of duty. We were in love before his marriage and we never stopped. He wasn’t unfaithful to her, but I knew I still had his heart. And when she died, he felt such guilt. That he’d never given any of himself to her and she had left this world delivering Shamus to him. He’d always had these periods of sadness, Colin, but after that…” her hand fluttered.

Colin tried to piece together the words his father had said. This couldn’t be true, couldn’t be happening. He’d built his beliefs on this. “Mum, ye can’t mean that, he told me love was a mistake, he—”

“Was it during one of his episodes?” His mother’s mouth pinched.

He nodded, the sick dread tightening his entire body.

“Try to understand. He thought his affection fer me aided in Elswith’s death. That she would have survived if he’d given her his love. He blames himself, and sometimes I suppose, me. He thinks that if he hadn’t loved me, she would still be alive. That our love was a mistake. I’ve tried to make amends the best I could. Be a good mother to Shamus. I never wanted Elswith to die and I love her son with all my heart.” She took a shaky breath. “Sometimes he wishes he’d married me first. I was always stronger. But then Shamus wouldn’t be here. And sometimes, I think, he wishes he’s never loved me at all and his heart would have been open to her.”

“Mum,” Colin swallowed. Much as his mind reeled, all the things his father had said made so much more sense. His poor mother.

“It isn’t too late fer ye, Colin. The mistake that yer father should have explained was loving one woman and marrying another. You can still correct that, Colin. Marry the woman yer heart desires.”

Those words should have set him free, but the dread only compounded. Because he’d held Fiona in his arms. Touched her perfect skin, kissed her lips and stroked her hair. And then he’d left. Which was exactly what he said he wouldn’t do.

She’d hardly forgiven him the first time. He had to get back to her right away. Night had fallen to an inky black. He could leave now, but it would be dangerous, near impossible to travel. And he was bone-tired. But the longer he waited, the worse it would be. With a sigh of frustration, he headed to the kitchen.

He’d eat, get a few hours’ rest, and set out at first light. Because he loved her. And they were meant to be together. Why it had taken him so long to realize that, he couldn’t say, but he had to tell her.

Chapter 14

Fiona sat on her bed, not bothering to have lunch. Her head spun round as thoughts of last night and this morning played over and over.

She was losing Colin…she was losing herself.

That thought stopped the circles in her mind. What would the old Fiona do? The one who took midnight rides, and punched men who insulted her, and never followed her father’s rules?

Why, that Fiona would put on her riding habit and find the man who kept showing her his back. She wasn’t sure if she would throw her arms around him or if she would break his nose. And that was the beauty of being her. Rather than think it to death, she’d decide when the moment dictated.

She rang for Mary and had the girl help her change into her habit and braid her hair into a serviceable style.

“Do ye want to pack a lunch?” Mary asked as she worked.

“Aye, that would be lovely.” Fiona gave the girl a smile, making sure to give nothing away.

With a nod, Mary pulled the cord again to signal for another servant.

A quarter hour later, Fiona was in the barn. She’d left a quick note for her father and grabbed a blanket and a few other supplies from her room. Not much, she didn’t want to make the grooms suspicious.

She’d have preferred to ride bareback but she was giving the impression that she’d just be going for a quick ride.

“You should have one of us chaperone ye, miss,” one of the grooms informed her as he helped her into the saddle.

“No need.” She gave an airy wave. “My father is joining me in a few minutes, I’ll just take this filly for a few laps around the training ring while I wait.” Her smile was bright as she trotted off, looking in no particular hurry.

But as soon as she’d cleared the barn, she kicked the horse faster, and started toward the road to Kirkaldy. She wouldn’t make it by nightfall, but that didn’t frighten her, she’d ridden at night her entire life.

The day was warm, and spring was in full bloom as she started down the rutted roads. The air smelled sweet and Fiona felt at ease for the first time in days. Other than when Colin had held her close. This felt right, going after him.

By evening she was more than halfway there and she stopped to change horses. The stableman gave her a few curious glances, a woman being alone, but she paid them no mind, and started down the road once again.

She still had a few hours’ worth of riding ahead of her when night fell but it took a great deal longer than she’d planned. Clouds rolled in, covering the moon, making her slow her pace to almost nothing.

It was midnight before she reached Kirkaldy and she dared not travel any further. But she didn’t want to check in at the inn either. She’d been coming to this village her entire life. To check in without a chaperone, well, she’d never recover. Instead, she headed down the street, to a cottage on the outskirts of the village. It was empty, she knew it was.

Tying her horse in the dilapidated barn, she let herself into the back of the cottage and spread out her blanket. She ate her picnic lunch, hours overdue, and then fell into a restless sleep.

She was up again at the first light of dawn, and taking her horse, she started toward Colin’s home. One way or the other, she’d know her answer today. Did her future include Colin Campbell?

As she made her way down the misty road, a figure appeared in the distance. The outline of a carriage. As they drew closer, Fiona recognized the Campbell buggy coming toward her.

She pulled off to the side but the driver recognized her and slowed the team of horses.

Colin’s mother snapped up the shade and gave Fiona a glowing smile.

“Fiona,” she cried as she pushed open the door and rushed toward her. “What are ye doin’ here?”

Fiona swallowed. She was supposed to be at the summit. To have been discovered was unforgivable. There was no point in lying now, it was done. “I need to see Colin.”

“I assumed as much.” Lady Campbell stepped closer. “Try to understand, Fiona. It’s been hard on Colin. It’s been tough on all of us. It’s my fault he came racing home.”

Fiona’s jaw went slack for a moment before she snapped it shut again. How much did Lady Campbell know? “How is Laird Campbell?” Fiona asked, knowing what difficulty the lady referred to.

“Much better.” Lady Campbell gave her a smile. “Colin is likely still in bed. Make yerself comfortable while ye wait.”

Those words niggled at her fears. First, Colin hadn’t left because his father was dying. He was fine. And second, as she traipsed across the country, sleeping on cold floors, he was tucked warmly in his bed. “Wait?” she asked because she couldn’t form any other words.

“For him to wake.” The lady gave her a smile. “Though he might wake early. There will be much to do.”

“To do?” Fiona repeated once again.

“Aye, before the move to the Highlands. Colin’s a laird now, Fiona.” Lady Campbell gave her a quizzical look. “Aren’t ye excited?”

Fiona blinked. What the devil was she talking about? Sick dread filled her stomach as she pieced together the words. She clutched at her stomach swaying on the horse and it took every ounce of her strength to stay seated.

This couldn’t be true. They were best friends and he wouldn’t have kept something like this from her. But why would his own mother lie to her? Much as she didn’t want to believe it, Lady Campbell has no good reason. Swallowing her misery, Fiona sat up straighter.

She would not be going to the Campbell estate. She had no intention of sitting around and waiting for Colin to tell her that he’d lied…again. Multiple times. Because that was the only explanation for why he had left. He didn’t want to fulfill his promises to her, he wouldn’t even be staying long enough for her to return from the summit. He planned on leaving before he fulfilled his promise.

He had used her and now he was leaving.

As she watched Lady Campbell ride away, she didn’t continue toward the Campbell estate. Instead she turned toward her home. It was time to face the consequences of her actions and nurse her broken heart.

* * *

Colin woke early and dressed, heading directly to the barn. He had to get back to Fiona. The longer he was gone, the worse it would be.

But as he stepped out of his room and made his way down the hall, he ran directly into his father.

Much as Colin wanted to be angry with him, his father was thinner than when he’d left a week before, his skin pale. He looked weak and fragile.

“Da,” Colin embraced his father.

The man hugged him back. “I’m so glad tae see ye.” The older man’s voice rough with illness.

“I’m glad tae see ye too. I was worried.”

“So was I,” His father let him go and rubbed the back of his neck. Coin could see the pain on the other man’s face. “I haven’t been the best father tae ye, Colin. And I wanted to the chance to tell ye that I loved ye.”

“Don’t say that.” Last night, Colin had imagined he would rage at his father. Allowing his anger at being so misguided an outlet. But in this moment, his father looked so weak, he couldn’t do it.

Shaking his head, Colin’s father put his hands on his son’s shoulders. “I was so busy regretting my past, I forgot to live in the present with ye.”

“I did fine—”

His father squeezed his shoulders. “Ye did better than fine. Ye’re a man to be proud of. Ye take after yer mother, steady and strong. I don’t ken what I ever did to deserve that woman.”

Colin blinked. “Do ye love me mum?”

“Always have,” his father cleared his throat.

“Then why did ye tell me not to marry for love?” Colin couldn’t quite keep the bitterness out of his voice.

“Colin, I didn’t mean to say such things. I did terrible things with love. Hurt people. I trust ye’ll do better.”

A stabbing pain lanced in his chest. Had he done better? He wasn’t so sure.

Heading toward the village, the world was quiet, peaceful, unlike his own heart that raged in his chest.

As he passed through Kirkaldy, the baker called to him. “I just saw yer mother. She says you’ve some important news.”

Colin waved, not at all certain he wanted to share his news about town. What if Fiona was so angry she never forgave him? He also hadn’t realized his mother had already left the house, his talk with his father had really delayed him, which only increased his worry.

Kicking his horse faster, the sun was high before he met another traveler. Two men came toward him, and even as far away as they were, he recognized Haggis McDougal. The giant man had a matching steed. The other, Keiran.

What he didn’t understand was why Fiona wasn’t with them. Kicking his horse faster, he met them on the road, not bothering with formalities, he asked. “Where is Fiona?”

“Ye dunnae ken?” Haggis cried, his horse rearing. “She said she was comin’ after ye.”

That sick dread he’d been feeling for days clenched his stomach like a vice. “I ‘ave not see her.”

The three men stared at each other dumbfounded, tension filling the air. “Where could she be?” Keiran finally asked.

Haggis gave a roar. “That foolish girl, runnin’ off by herself all the blasted time.”

He closed his eyes for just a moment. “Perhaps she returned home?”

“I’ll check,” Keiran kicked his horse forward. “We’ll meet back here tomorrow evening.”

Haggis turned his horse around. “I’ll head back the way I came, see if I can find anyone who’s seen her.”

“Keiran will be ridin’ straight on to Ravenscraig. I’ll head back toward Kirkaldy and see if she made it that far.”

Haggis gave a nod. “We’ll meet back here tomorrow night. Pray we find her.”

Colin spent the whole afternoon and evening combing the road. He looked for places where multiple horses might have convened, he asked passersby if they’d seen her. He looked for signs of a struggle but nothing caught his notice

Finally as dusk fell, his made his way back into Kirkaldy. If anything had happened to her, he’d never forgive himself. By trying to deny his feelings, he created such a mess. If he had the chance, he’d make things right for good and for real with Fiona.

Turning down a quiet lane, he noticed a single set of horse tracks heading to the barn of an abandoned cottage. Following them, he opened the door to a tiny barn, where a horse had clearly been housed.

Heading into the cottage itself, he followed a set of small footprints, too small to be a man’s, through the dust that led to a small sitting room where someone had clearly spread a blanket on the floor.

Could this have been Fiona? It made sense. If she’d arrived last night, it had been too dark to continue and she couldn’t just stay at the inn unattended.

Running back outside, he jumped on his horse and pushed the poor tired beast toward Ravenscraig Estate.

It was dark by the time he arrived, his heart still hammering wildly in his chest. He swung down from his horse, not even bothering to tie it. The beast was so exhausted, it wouldn’t go far. Likely, it’d make its way to the barns on its own. He knew the path well.

Striding up to the front door, he lifted his hand to knock, but the door swung open before he’d reached the knocker.

It wasn’t the butler, but Keiran, who greeted him.

He’d mostly made amends with Keiran, but somehow the man’s presence irritated him now. It was in the way the man opened the door only wide enough to peek out. Colin had grown up here, Keiran was the stranger. Who was he to keep Colin out?

“She’s here and she’s safe,” Keiran said by way of greeting.

Colin’s inside unknotted. “Can I see her?”

Kerian shook his head. “She doesn’t want tae see ye.”

“Like bloody hell,” Colin put his hand on the door. He didn’t push it open yet, but it wasn’t getting closed in his face either. “She is to be my wife. I’ll see her right now.”

“Nay,” Keiran didn’t move. “Ye won’t.”

That was when Colin pushed. In a quick motion, he shoved against the door with his hand, letting his shoulder follow. Keiran fell back in surprise and Colin barreled in, stumbling into the entryway.

Keiran scrambled to his feet, and had Colin by the scruff on the neck before Keiran had gotten his feet under himself. But Keiran wasn’t done. Before, he’d even straightened, Keiran landed a fist into Colin’s stomach doubling him over.

Not to be bested, Colin used the position to then drive his shoulder into Keiran’s midsection sending Keiran crashing to the floor again. Aye, they were well matched, indeed.

Colin made to pounce on Keiran when a voice halted him. “Stop this instant.”

It was Emilia. Colin focused in on her as she marched toward them, her skirt in her hands, her blonde hair trailing behind her. “He’d never noticed how much alike Emilia and Fiona actually looked. Or how beautiful Emilia had become. As she reached them, she straightened her shoulders and notched her chin to look him in the eyes. “What the bloody hell do ye think ye’re doing fighting in my father’s home?”

He couldn’t help it, her words humbled him and he rubbed the back of his neck. “Emilia,” he started.

Keiran got up then. “He started it,” Keiran said as he pointed a finger in Colin’s direction.

“Not another word,” she huffed. “Ye’re grown men.”

“I never knew ye had such spirit,” Colin whispered. “Ye’re more like Fiona—”

“Ye don’t get to say her name,” Emilia moved closer raising her chin higher to glare at him. “How could you?” She poked him in the chest.

“What?” he asked bewildered.

“Leave her like that, after what you did, without even an explanation. Not once, or even twice, but ye were going tae do it again. She loved you.”

Loved? It wasn’t in the past. Didn’t Emilia mean love? “What are ye talkin’ about? I ken I was wrong the first time, but I told yer father I where I was goin’ and I was comin’ back as soon as I could.”

“Then why were you moving to the Highlands without a word to Fiona? Because you were coming back?” Emilia made a pishing noise. “Ye’re full of dung. Ye’ve been her friend her whole life, how could ye do that to her?”

Sick dread reared up in his stomach once again. “Emilia, I would never have left her. I was takin’ her with me. She was so upset, I was waiting fer the right time to tell her about the move. The summit, it was so difficult for her and—”

“Enough,” Emilia held a hand up in his face. “Ye’re too late. She doesn’t want to see you ever again.”

“Please,” he begged. This was so much worse than he had ever imagined. If she thought he was going to move away without her, she might never forgive him. “I can’t be without her. Emilia, talk tae her, tell her I love her, Tell her it’s always been her. Tell her, ‘Wherever I go, she goes.’”

“She doesn’t want to go with ye. Not anymore,” But Emilia couldn’t look him in the eye. Instead, she stared at the wall. “Leave, Colin. Ye’re not welcome here.”

Chapter 15

Fiona sat in the tower that overlooked the ocean. It was one of the benefits of living in a castle. Her father might very well toss her out after today, so she may as well enjoy the view while she still could.

She wondered if any woman had so completely and thoroughly ruined herself as Fiona had done. It almost made her laugh, to think on it. She never did anything halfway, least of all this. But laughter wouldn’t come through these tears.

Colin left her at the summit to return home to pack his belongings and move to the Highlands. It was too ridiculous to even imagine.

The door softly opened and the gently steps of Emilia, told her sister had returned. “It was Colin.”

“I don’t want to ken,” Fiona replied feeling a fresh sting of tears in her eyes.

“Well, ye’re goin’ to hear it all,” her sister replied. “He said he loved you, Fiona. He said where he goes, you go. He can’t live without ye.”

“Then why didn’t he tell me he was moving to the Highlands?” Fiona yelled, then softened her voice. It wasn’t Emilia’s fault.

“Maybe ye should ask him.” Emilia’s hand gently touched her shoulder.

Fiona shook her head, her eyes never leaving the ocean below. “I never want tae speak tae him again.”

Emilia stood silently behind her for so long that Fiona didn’t notice when she finally left. She didn’t know how long ago the sun had set or when she’d ceased to be able to see the ocean below. She was only aware of the ache deep within her heart.

Having slept on the floor the night before, she finally became aware of the deep ache in her knees that drove her from the tower to seek out her own bed.

It was, if possible, even darker than the night before, and it took her a long time to navigate to her room. She hadn’t brought candles or any other provisions with her. Her stomach protested but she ignored it, just wanting the blissful nothingness of sleep.

Finally making her way into her bedchamber, she was grateful to see a single candle burning on the vanity. Stripping off her clothes, she didn’t even bother to change out of her shift and into a night rail. Instead she just crawled between the covers.

Strong arms pulled her close before she even knew what was happening.

She let out a yelp before Colin’s voice murmured, “It’s me, sweetheart.”

Rolling on top of him, Fiona raised her fists and aimed for his face. He only managed to just deflect it before the other came crashing down toward his nose. He threw his arms up to protect himself but Fiona only aimed lower and struck him in the abdomen.

His entire body jolted. “Not there, please, Fiona. Keiran already socked me good.”

“Keiran did?” she asked despite herself, gratification causing her to sit back on her heels. Which was a mistake. Her most intimate area came in direct contact with his. And he was naked, so only her shift separated them.

One of his hands came to her hip pressing her closer. She held back her groan of satisfaction. “What are ye doin’ in my bed?” she gasped out.

“If ye never want to see me again, I’ll leave ye, but not until I’ve had my say.” His wrist flicked so that she rubbed against his manhood in the most delicious way. Smart man that he was, he knew she’d be more receptive to hearing him out if he were pleasuring her.

“I’m listening,” she gasped as his hand grabbed her other hip increasing the pressure and the rocking.

“I love you,” he said. “I’ll never love another. The summit was so difficult on ye, I didn’t want to tell ye I was leaving fer the Highands and then there wasn’t time after I asked ye to marry me. But I never would have left without ye. Ye’re my everything.”

He moved her in a steady rocking motion that had heat curling in her belly as the ache grew. “Ye love me? I’m yer everything?” she moaned as he pulled her shift up over her hips.

“Ye ken ye are, Fiona. I’ve already gotten permission from yer father to marry ye.”

“Then why didn’t he say that?” she cried. But her resistance had melted and she reached between their bodies, grabbing his manhood and positioning it at her entrance.

He grunted as he sunk into her. “Bloody hell, Fiona, ye feel so good, love. He didn’t want tae ruin the surprise I’m guessin’ and I couldn’t tell him I’d proposed while lyin’ in yer bed the night before. It was a misunderstanding. That’s all.”

Fiona tossed her head back, arching her hips to take him all the way in. His words made perfect sense. He’d asked her father. And her father had been shifty that morning. He’d been trying to find out if Colin had already proposed. Fiona could have groaned with frustration if she weren’t moaning in pleasure.

Rising up off of him, she sank back down. “Ye mean ye really didn’t leave me? Ye weren’t running away?”

“No, but I don’t blame ye fer thinkin’ I had. But I meant it, Fiona. I want ye tae come wit’ me and if ye refuse, then I’ll stay too. I’ll find another way to support us. I swear it.”

He sat up then and sucked one of her nipples into his mouth. Grabbing onto his shoulders she bucked her hips against him, crying out in pleasure. “Ye’d stay for me?”

“Without a second thought.” He rolled them over then and pushed inside her, sending her spiraling out of control.

“Ye asked me where I wanted to marry.” She dug her fingers into his back as he picked up the tempo. “The smithy will marry us tomorrow.” She gasped about to fall over the edge. “We can have another ceremony for our families but I want to ken ye’re mine.” Because everything came apart when they were separated. “No more being apart.”

“Yes,” he hissed as his body increased the tempo even more. “It will be you and me, Fiona, forever.”

“Forever,” she gasped as her body shattered into a thousand pieces.

* * *

Colin held her in his arms. Haggis might kill him for marrying Fiona like this, but there was no way he’d deny her anything now.

From here on out, there would be no more secrets, no more attempts to shield his heart from her. He belonged to her.

He held her in his arms for the entire night and when the sun rose, he woke her once again with kisses.

Her eyes popped open and he could see the weariness in them. “Where are ye goin’?” she asked assessing him as she leaned back.

“We,” he emphasized the word. “Are going to Kirkaldy.” He gave her a rueful grin. “We do best when were together, don’t ye think? I’ll not be parted from ye again.”

Her looked turned from weary to glowing in an instant as she showered his face with kisses. “I agree,” she finally managed to answer. “But the maid won’t be in for another hour, maybe more considering yesterday. I want ye to take me standing again. That was glorious.”

Colin nearly choked. Fiona was going to be insatiable. Like everything else she did, she would make love to its fullest. It would be glorious indeed.

An hour later, they shimmied out her window and stole horses out of the barn to make their way back to town. They’d spent their life sneaking about. To marry this way, it felt so right.

It only took a few minutes to find the smithy and a few more to convince him to perform the ceremony. Normally he wouldn’t give it a second thought, but Haggis was not a man to make an enemy of.

It took a fair number of coins but Colin finally got him to agree. He left for a brief moment to bring his son and wife in to perform as witnesses.

Colin hoped Fiona would agree to move to the Highlands, they’d need some distance from her family. At least for a while.

As the smithy tied their hands together with a ribbon, Colin looked into Fiona’s green eyes and forgot the rest of the world. Forever was theirs.

He heard the rumble of the hooves, but he ignored them, focusing on her instead. But something was wrong. The smithy didn’t start the ceremony.

“Drat,” he heard Fiona mumble as her eyes cast out the window.

That word didn’t begin to describe it. Dismounting from his horse was Haggis, Keiran behind him.

“How fast can ye marry us?” Colin swung his gaze to the smithy.

“Not fast enough,” the man muttered, his eyes on the giant about to enter his shop.

Colin swallowed a lump in his throat. He might be able to take one of them, but he doubted he could take both. “If I die, I’ve got a full purse in my vest. Ye take it, and ye sign the documents that Fiona and I were man and wife. She’ll need the protection, dae ye hear me?”

“Yer not goin’ tae die,” Fiona pronounced as she turned to face the door.

Her father entered, rage turning his face near purple. Colin felt the blood drain from his face. As he opened his mouth to speak, Fiona beat him too it. “Ye were almost too late.”

Her father stopped, blinking. “Too late?”

“Tae see yer first daughter get married.” Fiona turned back to Colin as though that settled the matter.

“Does yer mother ken ye’re here?” Haggis growled out.

Fiona had the decency to blush then. “This is between Colin and myself.”

“Like hell it is.” Haggis slammed a fist on the wooden table next to him making the entire place shake. Colin was surprised the furniture held without breaking into several pieces.

Fiona huffed. “Da, we don’t do well when we’re apart. And I wished ye told me he’d come tae ye with a marriage proposal. I thought he was running away again. My reputation is so thoroughly ruined that we thought it would be best to do this quickly.”

Haggis blinked at her. “Ye were a petulant child and ye’re a menace as an adult.”

Fiona gave him an angelic look. “Fortunately fer you, I’ll be Colin’s problem in just a few minutes. Now, did ye ken that he was inheriting a Lairdship in the Highlands?”

“What of it?” Haggis asked.

Fiona clucked her tongue. “Neither of ye thought to mention it to me!” Then she used her free hand to smooth her hair. Colin tried to keep the grin from his face. Haggis could no more deny her than he himself could. “How could ye, Da?”

“Fiona, be reasonable,” Haggis started then looked to him, a growl rumbling in chest. “You and I will be talkin’ later.”

“I don’t think so,” Fiona’s voice rose. “The two of ye talkin’ without me was part of the problem.”

“Keiran told me ye turned him away yesterday, how are ye here now?” Haggis stepped closer, his sheer size imposing.

“I called to her through bedroom window,” Colin quickly answered before Fiona could say something different. He hoped Haggis accepted the Romeo and Juliet explanation.

“We agreed, Da, that we do best when we are together. When we part…” Fiona took a breath.

Colin filled in. “That’s when things go wrong.”

Haggis’s shoulders slumped. Then he pointed at the Smithy, “Ye’ll be in attendance when they marry again on Saturday next.”

Fiona gave a little bounce. “Thank ye, Da.”

But Haggis only shook his head. “I’m only agreein’ because I’ll sleep better wit’ ye married. I love ye Fiona, but thank God there’s only one of ye.”

“Do ye think my sisters will be easier?” She quirked a brow.

Haggis only shook his head suddenly looking tired. “Emilia is too shy by half and Ainsley always has a hoard of men followin’ behind her. They won’t be any easier, just different.”

Colin felt a twinge of sympathy for Haggis. He was right, his daughters were each challenging in their own ways. “Emilia might surprise ye. Ye should have seen the lecture she gave me.”

“Dumfries said he’d help too. Mayhap, I’ll send Ainsley to him.” Haggis straightened at the thought. “On with the ceremony,” he declared.

Colin breathed a sigh of relief. Mayhap, he’d live to see tomorrow after all. He looked at Fiona and all those thoughts fell away. She was lovely standing in the morning light. He’d never be apart from her again.

Epilogue

Fiona rolled over in their small bed and ran smack into her husband. What a delightful way to wake up on a crisp October morning.

They’d spent the last five months on their Highland property, Colin taking over the management. His uncle had excellent overseers and the transition had been nearly flawless. But the baby was comin’ soon and they wanted to be closer to family when he or she finally arrived.

“Good mornin’ mo chridhe,” Colin nuzzled her ear as his hand immediately spread over her rather large belly. Her mother informed her it would grow much larger still. Fiona couldn’t imagine.

“Good mornin’, husband.” She grinned. Colin rose from the bed and stoked the fire to warm the room. It was small, like the rest of the house and it wouldn’t take long to heat. Fiona could already hear Mary stirring downstairs. Laird Stewart had allowed Fiona to hire Mary as her personal maid. While most of the staff stayed at the Highland estate, Mary travelled with them, taking the other bedroom in the cottage.

“Purchasing this cottage was a marvelous idea.” They’d bought the little abandoned house in Kirkaldy to stay at when they came to visit.

Colin grunted his agreement. “It still wouldn’t be wise fer me to stay with yer father.”

Fiona bit back a laugh. “We could have stayed with yer parents but then—” she stopped knowing that her father would have been green with envy had they stayed at the Campbell’s.

“Exactly,” he returned to the bed, pulling her close. His hand spread over her abdomen again as his other hand came to her breast. They were ridiculously sensitive and his touch was light as he softly tweaked them.

Rolling her onto her side, he pressed against her back, his manhood nestling between her thighs. She couldn’t help it, when it dragged across her lips she gave a little moan and swirled her hips. “My greedy love,” Colin chuckled in her ear.

But the hand on her belly slid down between her legs. She gasped, then gave a little mewl as he found the sensitive nub. “I’m just getting started,” she teased as she rolled her hips faster.

“I ken,” he nipped at her earlobe. “It makes me wonder why I ever resisted.”

The rolling of her hips pressed the head of his manhood at her opening and she gave a swirl that allowed him to sink into her warmth. He gave a rough moan as he pushed in as far as he could. “I’ve often wondered the same,” she said through tiny gasps of pleasure.

“Such a fool,” he rasped as he picked up the tempo making her body hum with need. She was wrapped in his warmth as he touched her in all the right places.

Reaching an arm up, Fiona looped it around his neck, pulling him even closer. “Promise me, you’ll never doubt again.”

“I’ll never doubt again.” He pushed inside her. “Fiona, you are my everything. I love you, forever.”

She tried to respond but the pleasure was consuming her body, driving her forward as she shattered into a thousand tiny pieces and then became whole again, transformed into something even greater in his arms.

He fell over the edge too and as his racing heart quieted, she softly stroked his hair. “You are my everything too, Colin Campbell. I’ll never love another.”

They kissed softly and Fiona was sure she’d fall back to sleep when the loud grumbling of her stomach interrupted their bliss.

Colin chuckled. “The baby is trying to tell us it’s time to eat.” He rose from the bed. “Stay there, I’ll bring you breakfast.”

She gave him a grateful smile. “What shall we do today?”

“Are you up for a ride to the loch?” he asked as he pulled on his kilt.

Fiona sighed. She’d love to ride at a breakneck pace, sweeping over the land as she and Colin had done so many times before. But a leisurely ride to reminisce would be nice too. “Do ye hate that I’m so big we can’t do all the things we love?”

Colin came back to the bed. “We just did do something I love.” He gave her a naughty wink. “Besides, if I’m with you, it doesn’t really matter what we do.”

She sat up then, scrambling onto her knees as best she could, to give him a kiss. He wasn’t going to like what she was about to say, and so she’d best soften it. “You should write to Keiran and tell him so. Agnes will be arrvin’ at Clarissa and Ewan’s in a few days’ time. They are bound to see one another and I wish he would open himself up to her.”

Colin grimaced. “I’ll not meddle—”

“Please,” she looped her arms around his neck. “Just tell him how happy ye are. How ye wish ye hadn’t resisted. That it’s wonderful to open up to love.”

Colin gave her a long kiss. “It is, my love. But men don’t talk like that to one another.”

She huffed but her eyes were pleading, she could tell they were as she stared up at him by the way he grimaced back. “They should. What if he doesn’t come ‘round?”

He stroked her cheek. “He will, if it’s meant to be. But I’ll write him a little something if it will make ye feel better.”

She clapped her hands. “That’s wonderful. My mother and Ainsley are going to visit Clarissa and Ewan as well. They can deliver the note.

“They’re leaving? They aren’t going to be here for the baby?”

“They’ll be here,” she assured him. “Clarissa is due to have a baby of her own any day now. My mother wouldn’t be leaving otherwise.” Her stomach grumbled again.

Colin gave her a wink and stepped away, pulling on his shirt. “No more talk. Time for eating.” As he strode to the door, he turned back to her. “Please tell yer mother to be here for the birth.” There were lines of worry about his eyes.

“I will,” she blew him a kiss then settled back into the bed. Of course he was worried after what had happened to Shamus’s mother.

“I love ye, Fiona.” Swiftly he crossed the room again and captured her lips in a fierce kiss. “I’ll have yer mother here, and the doctor. But don’t think fer a second, I’m leavin’ yer side.” His words were fierce but his touch gentle as he stroked her hair away from her face.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” She cupped his cheeks between her palms. “I love ye too, and I’m not going anywhere.”

He gave a nod. “Ye’re my forever.”

“Forever,” she repeated, her heart so full of love, she thought it might burst.

Want to find out if Keiran and Agnes can find their happily ever after? How does the birth of Fiona and Colin’s son go? Find all these answers and more in A Scot’s Surrender. Order today!

Keep reading for a sneak peek!

A Scot’s Surrender

A Laird to Love Book 3

Tammy Andresen

USA Today Bestselling Author

Prologue

Agnes lay in bed, the sounds of muffled voices filtering into her room. Well, it wasn’t her room actually. And she wasn’t alone. On the floor, within arm’s reach, lay Laird Keiran McKenna.

His steady breathing captured her attention and she found herself breathing along with him, entranced by the sound.

“Go to sleep, Agnes,” he growled from his spot on the floor.

“I’m trying,” she huffed, her head lifting from the pillow. “But I can’t seem to stop thinking about how I will be ruined after tonight.”

He let out a long sigh. “I’m not sleeping in the common room. It doesn’t matter how much ye squawk.”

She sat up then, the ropes underneath the mattress creaking. “I am not squawking and it’s your duty as a gentleman to allow me to have the room…alone.”

“There are no more rooms and I am not sleeping with the riffraff. I paid for a room.”

“But a gentleman—”

He stopped her before she could say more. “I’m not a gentleman.”

She inched closer to the edge of the bed, trying to see his face. “It’s not as though I didn’t know that already.”

He didn’t answer but she heard him turn away from her, grumbling to himself as he moved. He was laying on the hard floor, with nothing but a single blanket that was half under him and half covering his body. A coat was tucked under his head.

She couldn’t help it, it looked so uncomfortable that she grabbed the pillow from her own bed and slid her feet to the floor.

“Agnes,” he warned again.

Crouching down next to him, he turned toward her then. Even in the dark she could see a glint in his eyes that made her breath catch. It was like the one time she’d tasted brandy. It had slid down her throat like fire, causing warmth to spread through her entire body.

That was how Keiran’s gaze made her feel now. She thrust the pillow at him, not knowing what else to do. “I’m in the soft bed. I’ll use my coat for a pillow and you can use this.”

He took it out of her hand, their fingertips grazing, the tiniest gasp escaping her lips. But he heard it. She saw the way his gaze narrowed, heard his breath stop for a moment as something delicious crackled in the air. “You should go back to bed.”

She nodded, getting ready to stand but then she paused. “I’ve never been alone with a man like this before.”

“Keep it that way till yer married,” he said turning away from her again.

But that didn’t deter her. In fact, it made it easier to talk to him without his penetrating gaze upon her. “I sometimes wonder if I’ll ever be married. I’ve never even been kissed.”

He turned back to her then before she could blink, his face was an inch from hers. “You’re smart, pretty, and the kindest person I ken. Ye’ll be married before ye can turn in a circle.” Every part of her warmed at the compliment.

“Thank you.” She found herself leaning closer to him, wanting to touch him.

“But it won’t be me. I won’t kiss ye and I certainly won’t marry ye,” he rasped. “Go back tae bed.”

She would have jumped back on the bed at his harsh tone but at some point his hand had come to her hip and he held her close. “I didn’t mean for you to kiss—”

“Aye, ye did.” His body was moving closer. “But ye don’t want me, ye just want the experience. I ken ye think I’m no good.”

Her breath caught again as her hand fluttered to his chest. When they’d met a few weeks before, Keiran’s friend, Lord Dumfries, had aided them on the side of the road after their wheel had broken. But Keiran had sat on his horse and watched, not offering any help. “An upstanding man would have assisted us when our wheel…” but she didn’t finish because his hand squeezed her hip tighter.

“I never claimed to be upstanding. I’ve seen and done things…” He stopped, his breath fanning her face.

He didn’t have to finish. She knew he’d been in the war. Trembling she lifted her hand until it rested against his cheek. “I didn’t mean to accuse you of anything, Kerian. I can’t imagine how difficult being a soldier was but it will be all right.”

He sat straighter, no longer reclining on the floor. His forehead came to rest against hers. “I wish that were true.” His other hand came to her face and they sat touching each other in the most intimate moment of Agnes’s life. “You have a chance at a pure life, lass, and that isn’t with me.”

Then his touch was gone. Laying back down, he rolled over. The sudden loss of contact made her feel cold, alone as she slowly rose and climbed back into the empty bed.

Chapter 1

Miss Agnes Burton gave a prim curtsey as she notched her jaw higher in the air.

“You remember Laird McKenna,” the Earl of Dumfries, Ewan McDougal, gestured toward his friend as he made the necessary introductions.

“Of course,” she gave a tight smile. Keiran McKenna was the man every mother warned her daughter to avoid. Sure, he was a laird, with a vast estate. And yes, he’d worked hard to make that estate profitable after his return from the war.

It couldn’t be denied that he was exceedingly handsome, with dark hair and piercing hazel eyes. He possessed that easy charm that could lull a girl into losing her heart before she understood that his grace masked a devilish intent.

“A pleasure to see you again, Miss Faulkenberry and Mrs. Faulkenberry.” His deep voice caressed her skin as he gave a bow of his own. Then bowed to her mother. The sight of his muscles flexing as he bent might have made her stomach flutter except she knew exactly what he was.

Keiran McKenna was a rake. An unrepetant rogue. She’d known it the first time she’d met him on a rutted Scottish road. The Earl of Dumfries had gotten down from his horse and helped repair their damaged wheel. Her cousin, Lady Clarissa Burton, had fallen in love with the Earl and now they were married, expecting their first child.

But Keiran, had he helped with the wheel? No, he’d sat on his horse and done nothing. She’d known then he was no gentleman.

But he’d proven it beyond a shadow of a doubt when he’d accompanied Clarissa to an inn. With no more rooms available, Keiran had refused to give up his room for Agnes. A gentleman would sleep in the common room. She couldn’t sleep down there and so, they’d stayed in the room together. He’d slept on the floor of course, but it was unforgiveable.

“And you as well,” she gritted out as she picked a spot somewhere over his right shoulder to direct her gaze. She’d learned from experience not to look directly into his eyes.

“Agnes!” Clarissa’s voice rang through the entry as she stepped into view on the balcony above. Ewan bounded up the stairs to meet his wife, leaving Agnes to stand with Keiran and her mother.

Ewan reached his wife at the top of the steps. Then, wrapping his arms about her, he gave her a long kiss. Agnes felt heat fill her cheeks.

It was indecent of course, such a public display of affection, but that wasn’t what was embarrassing. Of late, she’d found herself wondering what it might like to be kissed in such a way and, if she wasn’t careful, it was Keiran McKenna who she pictured giving her that kiss.

“Warms the heart, to see them in love like that,” Keiran murmured next to her.

She gave a delicate sniff. She wished she were stronger. If she were, she’d tell him that he likely had no heart but that wasn’t her way. “I’m very happy for them both.” And she was. No one deserved love like that more than her cousin.

Ewan began helping Clarissa down the stairs. Their progress was slow as Clarissa half-waddled from step to step.

“It was good of ye to come.” Keiran cleared his throat. “I ken they’re both anxious about the baby.”

Agnes’s cheeks heated for another reason entirely: anger at his high-handedness, telling her how her own cousin felt. “I know she is anxious. I don’t need you to tell me—”

Her mother gave her a sharp look, ending her tirade.

Clamping her mouth closed, she concentrated on Clarissa, who’d finally reached the bottom of the stairs.

“I’ve missed you both so much,” Clarissa beamed as she opened her arms.

Agnes raced over to her cousin, picking up her skirts as she went and flung her arms around her. “I’ve missed you too.”

Her mother followed, giving Clarissa a much more demure and proper greeting.

But Agnes had missed her cousin terribly. They’d been like sisters. Their fathers were brothers and each having a single daughter, they’d grown up together.

“Have you had a wonderful time exploring Scotland?” Clarissa asked, beaming at them both.

Clarissa’s smile warmed Agnes. It had been fun, but the truth was, it just hadn’t been the same without Clarissa. “It was lovely, but I am so glad to be here with you.” She hugged her cousin again.

To Agnes’s complete surprise, Clarissa’s stomach gave a jolt as they pressed together. Clarissa laughed. “The baby is saying hello.”

Agnes’s eyes rounded. “That was the baby?” Then, despite herself, she dropped to her knees and placed her hands over Clarissa’s belly. Another movement bounced under her hand and Agnes gave a giggle of delight. “Oh, Clarissa,” she gushed. “How marvelous.”

Ewan cleared his throat. “It is. I’ve my hands on her belly every chance I get.”

Agnes stood, realizing that she should have waited for a more private moment. As she turned back, she saw Keiran’s eyes studying her intently.

“Ainsley and my Aunt Rhona are coming as well,” Clarissa reached for Agnes’s hands as she directed the conversation back to safer ground.

Excitement bubbled in Agnes. Ainsley, while intent upon getting her own way, was also loads of fun. “What about Fiona or Emilia?” They were Clarissa’s other two cousins on her mother’s side.

Clarissa shook her head. “Fiona is also expecting and Emilia is staying with Uncle Haggis. He’d never admit it, but he doesn’t like to be alone.”

“Men rarely do,” her mother chimed in. “What about your parents, Clarissa? Are they coming?”

“Oh yes,” Clarissa radiated happiness. It was so different from before she’d met Ewan and Agnes was so pleased to see it. “It will be a house full.”

Agnes gave a sigh. It would be wonderful. She glanced back at Keiran, who was still watching her, and gave a small sigh of relief. At least he would be staying at his own house.

* * *

“Keiran has also agreed to stay here,” Ewan announced to the group. “He’s volunteered to help run the estate while I am helping with the baby.”

Keiran watched Agnes, his chest tight. It was near painful to witness her in almost any situation but more so in one such as this.

When surrounded by people, it became painfully obvious how much she liked everyone else but him as her face puckered in distaste at Ewan’s announcement.

Her clear blue eyes met his again and then she looked away quickly. Her thick blonde hair, tossing over her shoulder.

He’d not lie, he wanted to bury his hands in that hair and turn her until those raspberry-kissed lips were under his.

He’d bet she made the most adorable sounds when she was kissed. He stopped his mind because she was looking at him again. So was Ewan, and one of his friend’s eyebrows was lifted in the air.

Keiran realized he was grimacing and forced his face to relax. It was always this way around Agnes.

She beamed another smile at Clarissa and Keiran gritted his teeth even while he rearranged the rest of his face into a mask of calm.

He had to stop thinking about her like this. First because she obviously didn’t fancy him, with one notable exception, that is.

But more importantly because Agnes was as innocent as they came. He was too dark to ever be with someone like her. The war had changed him. Most likely he’d never marry at all.

Ewan wrapped his arm around his wife again, looking down at her, with such obvious love that Keiran had to look away. He couldn’t explain why but it made his heart hurt.

Agnes, on the other hand, looked thrilled.

Their trunks were brought in and then the ladies were all escorted upstairs, Clarissa going with them. Keiran watched the sway of her delicious hips as she worked her way toward the second floor. She didn’t glance back at him again, which both relieved and annoyed him.

It did leave him free to admire her backside until it disappeared from sight.

“Ye look like a wolf after the sheep,” Ewan mumbled.

Keiran held back a near bitter laugh. “I am the wolf,” he replied. “And Agnes is most definitely a lone sheep. Easy pickings.”

Ewan did not immediately respond and Keiran finally ripped his eyes from Agnes to look at the man next to him. His best friend. Who was deeply scowling. “Ye’ll behave with Agnes.”

Of course he would. Agnes was a woman who a man married. “Ye don’t have to worry. I ken who Agnes is and I ken who I am.”

Ewan gave a nod. “Have ye considered courting—”

“No,” Keiran bit back sharply. “If ye’ll excuse me, I’m goin’ to check on yer actual sheep.”

He didn’t wait for Ewan’s reply as he stomped outside. He shouldn’t have agreed to be here. It had been a mistake but one he couldn’t undo now. But to be with Agnes like this…

Ewan had made great progress on his lands but he was still short-staffed. His gamekeeper was ancient and he was without a shepherd. It meant Ewan himself had been working long hours, but with the baby on the way… Keiran sighed. He’d had to help his friend.

He rounded the barn and headed toward the fields. He was still in formal clothing and really should have changed before he’d come out, but he’d been eager to escape the house.

As he entered the fields, he saw the sheep clustered together at the other end. They still had plenty of grass in this lower field and he decided to walk the perimeter to check and make sure the fence was secure.

He did the full circle and found no weak points. What was more, he was calmer, though his Hattians had likely been ruined.

He gave a sigh, he’d bought them in London and was rather fond of them. He’d have a devil of a time replacing them.

As he looked up from his mud-covered shoes, he caught sight of none other than Agnes coming toward him.

Everything in him clenched as she rounded the barn and made her way to the lower field.

He stood, waiting for her, legs splayed apart, arms crossed over his chest. What was she doing here?

“Keiran,” she called out. He should never have told her to use his given name. It did funny things to his insides.

“Agnes,” he replied. “What are ye doin’ out here?”

She shrugged as she approached. “After hours in the carriage it feels good to walk a bit.” Then clearing her throat, she looked him in the eye. “And I owe you an apology.”

That surprised him. He stepped closer then and the breeze carried a whiff of her smell toward him. He’d ken the scent of her anywhere. She smelled of cookies at Christmastide, sweet and homey, and it made him long for things a man like him shouldn’t. “Fer what?”

“I wasn’t myself that night in the inn. I didn’t mean to try and—” her saw her already pink cheeks flame and he bit back his grin. He’d refused to leave the room that night. He’d didn’t like sleeping with strangers. After the war, he couldn’t abide having men he didn’t know round him when he slept.

“Oh ye mean when ye tried to kiss me.” It had taken every ounce of his will to hold her at bay that night. Because if he’d allowed her to do it, he feared he wouldn’t have been able to stop.

She huffed a breath. “Ye don’t have to say it like that. I’m embarrassed enough.”

“How should I say it then?” He asked, stepping closer to her. He didn’t intend to, but she pulled at him whenever she was near.

“Like a gentleman,” she made a face at him, wrinkling her nose adorably.

But he used it as an excuse to get closer still. “Tell me, how would a gentleman say it?”

“Well, he wouldn’t.” Her hands came to her hips then. “And…he would have slept in the common room.”

Keiran shook his head. He was close enough to touch her now. He should have slept in the common room but it filled him with a dread he couldn’t describe. Not to her. He’d tried to be a gentleman by keeping his hands to himself. Not that that would keep them from marrying if anyone found out. “I’m sorry, lass. Yer right, I’m no gentleman.”

She blinked then, biting her lip in the most adorable way. “Oh,” she paused. “Well, I wasn’t very ladylike and for that—”

“I’ll have to disagree. Yer more of a lady than anyone I ken.” And then he turned and began walking away. Because if he’d stayed, he’d lose all his resolve and kiss her for sure.

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Tammy Andresen lives with her husband and three children just outside of Boston, Massachusetts. She grew up on the Seacoast of Maine, where she spent countless days dreaming up stories in blueberry fields and among the scrub pines that line the coast. Her mother loved to spin a yarn and Tammy filled many hours listening to her mother retell the classics. It was inevitable that at the age of 18, she headed off to Simmons College, where she studied English literature and education. She never left Massachusetts but some of her heart still resides in Maine and her family visits often.

What the Critics are saying:

“The characters are well-developed and interesting, the plot is edge-of-your-seat intriguing, and the setting is one with so much history. If you are a fan of history mixed with mystery and intrigue, you won't be disappointed.” Linda Thompson THE AUTHOR SHOW

“While the relationship between Lily and Eric is the primary focus of this story, the mystery/supense factor is what kept this from being JUST a historical romance. Lily in Bloom was a fast-paced, romantic read that I absoutely LOVED.” http://alysenovak.blogspot.com

”…  it held not only a pure romance but the simple magic that goes with it. I was enchanted with this story from the beginning until the end and I didn’t want it to end. I wanted it to go on.” Robin

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