Analog Science Fiction and Fact - January/February 2013
Author: nextek
Date: 2012-07-06 08:12:23+00:00

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Vol. CXXXIII No. 1 & 2

Next Issue on Sale

January/February 2013

December 18, 2012

NOVELLAS

THE WOMAN WHO CRIED CORPSE, Rajnar Vajra ______________________ 122

TIME OUT, Edward M. Lerner________________________________________ 147

NOVELETTES

THE EXCHANGE OFFICERS, Brad R. Torgersen _________________________ 26

DESCARTES’S STEPCHILDREN, Robert Scherrer _______________________ 61

BUDDHA NATURE, Amy Thomson_____________________________________ 73

TRUE TO FORM, Kyle Kirkland ______________________________________ 102

SHORT STORIES

IN THE MOMENT, Jerry Oltion _________________________________________ 7

THE WAR OF THE WORLDS, BOOK ONE,

CHAPTER 18: THE SERGEANT-MAJOR, John G. Hemry ________________ 38

NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH, H. G. Stratmann _____________________________ 91

SCIENCE FACT

THE GREAT PTOLEMAIC SMACKDOWN AND

DOWN-AND-DIRTY MUD-WRASSLE, Michael F. Flynn __________________ 12

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26

SPECIAL FEATURE

TIME, PLACE, AND WONDER:

THE USE OF SETTING IN SHORT FICTION, Richard A. Lovett ___________ 47

PROBABILITY ZERO

WE INSTALL, Harry Turtledove _______________________________________ 55

UNPLANNED OBSOLESENCE, Edward M. Lerner _______________________ 100

READER’S DEPARTMENTS

THE EDITOR’S PAGE ________________________________________________ 4

BIOLOG: ROBERT SCHERRER, Richard A. Lovett________________________ 60

THE ALTERNATE VIEW, Jeffery D. Kooistra _____________________________ 57

IN TIMES TO COME________________________________________________ 90

THE REFERENCE LIBRARY, Don Sakers______________________________ 175

BRASS TACKS ___________________________________________________ 179

THE 2012 INDEX _________________________________________________ 182

ANALYTICAL LABORATORY BALLOT ________________________________ 185

UPCOMING EVENTS, Anthony Lewis _________________________________ 186

Stanley Schmidt Editor

Trevor Quachri Managing Editor

Cover design by Victoria Green

Cover Art by David A. Hardy

Indicia on Page 5

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EDITORIAL Stanley Schmidt

A VERY LOUD HO-HUM

ANG! POW! SCREEECH! RAT-A-TAT-A-
venting strong emotion through less destruc-

TAT! SCREE_E_E…

tive vehicles than a knife or a gun. As a liter-

BOOM!

ary tool, it can be a very effective means of

B Some years ago I wrote an editorial showing strong emotion—but onlyif it’s called “Nouveaux Clichés,” which appeared
used sparingly, so that its use in a moment of
in the October 1993 edition of these pages,
extreme stress is obviously different from
wherein I pointed out that large numbers of
what a character would say under more rou-
literar y and theatrical folk, in rebelling
tine circumstances. Used constantly and in-
against what they saw as clichés of an earlier
discriminately, it ceases to have any special
period, had created a new set of their own—
impact or significance. What was once
different, but not one whit less clichéd.1 In
shocking becomes just another word, like
their view, too many earlier stories, plays,

“tablecloth” or “like.”

and movies were “unrealistically” populated

And the effect isn’t confined to profanity.

with happily married couples, heroes who

It can happen to any word. If you routinely
could do no wrong, and so forth. No doubt
use “awesome” to describe a new flavor of
there was some truth in that—but the rebels’

chewing gum or a new style of sneaker, what

“solution” was to go so far in the opposite di-
do you have left to describe something that
rection that few of their characters had any
really is awesome, if you’re ever lucky
virtues, most of them were psychological
enough to experience one?

messes, and if any of them happened to be

Recently I’ve become increasingly aware of
married, it was a near-certainty that the mar-
another recent trend that combines the
riage was in deep trouble.

worst features of those two effects: overus-

Just as unrealistic, albeit in a different way,
ing a theatrical or literary device to the point
and just as predictable.

where it becomes a new cliché and in the

Just as clichéd.

process loses the special literary or dramatic

A little later, in July 2000, I wrote another
force it once had and still should have. It oc-
called “Blunt Instruments,” in which I point-
curred to me during one of the rare occa-
ed out that the proliferation of often point-
sions when I paid to see a movie in a theatre,
less profanity about which some people
where I first had to sit through a half dozen
were complaining was indeed a problem for
previews—during which I tried a little ex-
our culture—but not primarily for the reason
periment. Having already made a qualitative
they often cited. It was not so much a matter
observation about these things, I decided to
of morality—words per se have very little to count the explosions, gunshots, car wrecks,
do with morality—but rather the dulling of
and miscellaneous acts of violence shown in
the edges of our linguistic tools. Profanity in
those few minutes. I tried, but I couldn’t
real life is often an escape valve—a way of
keep up; and didn’t see much except the

1 “Clichéd,” on the off chance you were hazy on it, means “full of clichés,” wherein

“cliché” means (to slightly paraphrase the Encarta World English Dictionary) “a phrase, word, activity, or notion that has lost its original effectiveness or power from overuse.”

4

STANLEY SCHMIDT

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JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2013

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aforementioned explosions, gunshots, car
us have a bit more range than that.

wrecks, and miscellaneous acts of violence,

I’m not suggesting that every story should
all accompanied by noise played as loudly as
do without explosions, fisticuffs, or vehicular
the theater could get away with.

chain reactions. They can be powerfully ef-

Movies themselves are usually a little better
fective dramatic high points, but only if there
than their trailers, but way too many of them
is some context like surprise, steadily build-

(at least in the U.S.) still rely way too heavily
ing tension, or at least contrast. When there’s
on those things. My wife and I recently bor-
a constant stream of them (with rare excep-
rowed a DVD whose jacket notes seemed to
tions) they lose their specialness and their
think its main selling point was that it con-
figurative, if not literal, impact. Audiences
tained m explosions, n car crashes, etc. (It can fall into an equally predictable pattern of
actually described itself in those words, with
thinking, “Ho-hum, another chain-reaction
exact numbers for each category of may-
car crash,” or, “When is the car chase?” They
hem.) On the other hand, we also watched
shouldn’t know there’s going to be one, but another on which we commented in won-in contemporary American movies it’s a pret-
derment that it contained none of those
ty sure bet that there will be at least one and
things. You might think that the absence of
very likely many. Sometimes so many that the
violent events and loud noises would be less
effect becomes much like that of an inter-
noteworthy than their presence, but that’s
minable stream of obnoxiously loud TV com-
no longer true. Now they’re so common-
mercials. (Which, by the way, we’re some-
place, so predictable, that it’s very difficult
times told are not really louder than the
for yet another one to be shocking or surpris-
shows, which is true only on the most wease-
ing. What’s noteworthy is when a moviemak-
ly sort of technicality).2
er manages to get through an entire, engag-

Battle scenes, fights, and pyrotechnics are
ing story without resorting to any of those by no means new to movies, of course. Train
overworked stock devices.

wrecks and shootouts fought with inexplicably

It is possible to tell a strong story without inexhaustible six-shooters go way back. (And
them—consider, for example, Bill Forsyth’s
they can be fun; I enjoy watching Mythbusters

Local Hero, Peter Ustinov’s Romanoff and as much as anyone.) But now they’re bigger,

Juliet, or Charly, based on Daniel Keyes’

flashier, louder, and happen more frequently

Flower s for Algernon—but Amer ican
and with less provocation than ever before.

moviemakers often seem to have forgotten

This may be partly a technological side ef-
that. Most of them seem to take it for granted
fect. Special effects of unprecedentedly spec-
that Americans are all, as Uncle River once
tacular quality are now not only possible, but
commented to me, “adrenaline junkies.” I
also relatively easy to produce. It’s hardly sur-
don’t doubt that many of us are, but some of
prising that directors want to take advantage

2 Their peak volume is the same as in the show itself, but the volume range is electronical-ly compressed, with the entire commercial at or near the peak level instead of showing the wide range of loud and soft sounds found in well-made shows (or reality).

Analog Science Fiction and Fact (Astounding), Vol. CXXXIII, No. 1 & 2, January/February 2013. ISSN 1059-2113, USPS 488-910, GST#123054108.

Published monthly except for combined January/February and July/August double issues by Dell Magazines, a division of Crosstown Publications. One-year subscription $55.90 in the United States and possessions, in all other countries $65.90 (GST included in Canada), payable in advance in U.S. funds. First copy of new subscription will be mailed within eight weeks of receipt of order. When reporting change of address allow 6 to 8 weeks and give new address as well as the old address as it appears on the last label. Periodical postage paid at Norwalk, CT and additional mailing offices. Canadian postage paid at Montreal, Quebec, Canada Post International Publications Mail, Product Sales Agreement No. 40012460. (c) 2012 by Dell Magazines, a division of Crosstown Publications, all rights reserved. Dell is a trademark registered in the U.S. Patent Office. Protection secured under the Universal Copyright Convention. Reproduction or use of editorial or pictorial content in any manner without express permission is prohibited. All stories in this magazine are fiction. No actual persons are designated by name or character. Any similarity is coincidental. All submissions must be accompanied by a stamped self-addressed envelope, the publisher assumes no responsibility for unsolicited manuscripts or artwork.

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of those newfound abilities and flex their cin-
rable moments in written science fiction do
ematic muscles. The problem arises when
involve fast-paced action and spectacle on a
that becomes their main goal, leading them
grand scale. See, for example, the rivetingly
to overuse such devices and thereby dilute
intense action sequences in David R. Palmer’s
their impact. The one hope, however faint,

Emergence and Threshold, or the wildly con-that I see for a return to balance is that
trasting cliffhangers at the ends of the first
maybe we’ll eventually reach a point where
parts of Robert J. Sawyer’s Starplex and Raj-we can take spectacular special effects for
nar Vajra’s Shootout at the Nokai Corral (or, granted and concentrate on story, with the
for that matter, any number of other mind-
effects used when and only when they actu-
stretching events in Vajra’s stories). But note
ally make a strong contribution to that.

also that while Emergence has some lengthy How much relevance, if any, does all this
stretches of white-knuckle, edge-of-the-seat
have for fiction written to be read? Movie
action, it also has other lengthy stretches—

“science fiction” has almost always been a
including one right at the beginning—where
very different animal from the written kind,
almost nothing is happening, physically, yet
with fewer new ideas, less emphasis on mak-
most readers can’t put it down.

ing the scientific underpinnings believable,

That, it seems to me, is all the proof you
and more reliance on visual and auditory piz-
could need that there’s more than one way
zazz. Science fiction readers have long
for a writer or director to grab and hold a
known that when they go to a science fiction
reader’s or viewer’s attention and undivided
movie they must expect to make allowances
interest. Really good writers and directors

(though at least some have dreamed of a time
should be using the whole range of tools at
when they wouldn’t have to). But is what I’m
their disposal, and not just the biggest ham-
currently seeing in movies a cultural trend
mer in the box.

that may go beyond those allowances?

I definitely still want to see physical action

The heavy reliance on flashy physical ac-
and drama in stories and movies. But I don’t
tion has long had a prominent place in some
want to see it cheapened by excessive, gratu-
kinds of comic books, but those cater to par-
itous, or illogical use. For no matter how
ticular kinds of readers and what goes over
loud it is, when it’s used incessantly, it be-
well there is not necessarily appropriate to
comes as uninteresting and annoying as gar-
other media. On the other hand, I’m not say-
ish wallpaper.

ing that it never is. Some of the most memo-STANLEY SCHMIDT ...................................... Editor TREVOR QUACHRI ..........................

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Managing Editor

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In the

Moment

Jerry Oltion

You think the cosmos is too big
to be personal?

he astronomers began to arrive at dusk.

scopes. This was a private occasion, in more

First came the ones with computerized
ways than one. And town was not a place any-
telescopes; they needed the last vestige
one connected with the sky wanted to be on

Tof daylight to assemble their mounts this of all nights.

and to f ind all the plugs and sockets before

The meadow hummed with quiet conversa-
they could power up and run their alignment
tion and the soft whir of fans blowing the cool
programs. Next—just as the pole star popped
night air over the telescopes’ primary mirrors.

out of the twilight—came the people with

The mirrors had to be at ambient temperature
equatorial mounts. They set up their tripods,
to give crisp images, and tonight people want-
peering through the right-ascension axes to-
ed the best views they could get.

ward celestial north, then attached long New-

The sky sparkled with the brighter stars,
tonians or stubby Schmidt-Cassegrains or the
and more twinkled into view every minute.

occasional slim refractor to the dovetail brack-

Vega stood a little to the west of straight up,
ets on top. Then came the people with Dob-
with Deneb to the east and Altair to the south.

sonians and trackballs, large-aperture

The summer triangle. It was dropping steadily
reflectors on simple rotating bases that could
into the west, four minutes earlier every
be set up in just a few seconds.

night, but it was still there to provide proof

There were maybe two dozen telescopes,
that autumn didn’t yet dominate the sky.

and no more than twice that many as-

To the east of Altair shone a brilliant white
tronomers, in a meadow twelve miles from
point at least ten times as bright, trailing a
the city. If they had set up in town, as they
long stripe of white mist that stretched up and
sometimes did for public star parties, there
to the left. The comet’s tail covered half the
would be hundreds of people milling around,
sky, even though most of its hundred-million-
looking through each scope in turn at the var-
mile length was pointing almost directly away
ious wonders in the night sky—but tonight
from the Earth. The astronomers could see
was different. Tonight, the telescope owners
the nucleus move by naked eye, slowly, like
wanted to be at the eyepieces of their own
the minute hand of a clock. Moving eastward

IN THE MOMENT

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to meet the Moon, which was still an hour or
hit hard, even if it was just a glancing blow.

so below the horizon.

The explosion would dig a huge crater in the

Shawn was one of the Dobsonian people.

Moon and throw lunar rock everywhere. Most

Her telescope didn’t track the sky by itself; she
of that would fall back to the Moon, creating
had to nudge it along by hand, looking side-
secondary craters for days to come, but some
ways into the eyepiece that stuck out near the
of it would be blasted free, and some of that
front of the tube and correcting for Earth’s ro-
would cross paths with Earth. If a big enough
tation every thirty seconds or so at low power,
chunk made the crossing, humanity could eas-
more often at high. Her practiced hand at that
ily join the dinosaurs.

would be a distinct advantage tonight, since

Nobody knew which it would be. A person
the comet wasn’t moving at the sidereal rate
could find data enough to support any belief,
that most of the more expensive telescopes
and people who stood to gain in one scenario
tracked at. Everyone else would be manually
or another had been quick to supply their
correcting a scope that they didn’t normally
own spin on what data there was. And of
have to correct, while she would be doing
course millions of scientifically illiterate peo-
what she did every night—just in the opposite
ple believed that the comet would strike Earth
direction. And faster.

directly—tonight—or that it was hiding a fleet

She swept her telescope along the comet’s
of alien spaceships poised to attack when it
tail, using low power so she could see the en-
drew close, or who knew what other non-
tire width of it in the f ield of view. It looked
sense.

like a waterfall, with knots and gaps scattered

Shawn felt guilty for believing that it would
at random throughout its length. They be-
strike. She was supposed to have hope. Her fa-
came more pronounced nearest the nucleus,
ther had told her that hope and faith could ac-
where the Sun’s heat boiled off new material
tually make a difference, and that her lack of
and the solar wind shoved it out behind the
either could affect whether God diverted the
comet. There were even a few solid chunks of
comet or not. He wouldn’t even come out
ice—probably as big as mountains—that
with her tonight to watch; he was going to
made tiny sparkles of brightness in the milky
stay home and pray. She wondered if he
fog.

thought he could offset her negative effect

Comet tails didn’t always sweep out behind
with his own positive one. She wondered if
the nucleus. They pointed away from the Sun
she thought so, too, deep down.

no matter which way the comet was actually

She wondered if her father would be all
moving. This one was moving sideways, like a
right in town. If town would exist in the
pencil point. Like the pencil point of God,
morning, even if the comet missed the Moon.

some said, writing “Mene Mene Tekel” across

He had been happy to let her go out with the
the cosmos.

astronomy club tonight, if only to get her away

Most comets would loop around the Sun,
from the people who thought this would be
their tails sweeping out a giant arc and pre-
their last night to live.

ceding the nucleus back into the depths of

The knot in her stomach tightened, and she
space where they came from, but Comet
looked into the eyepiece again. All over the

Davis wouldn’t have that opportunity. Even if
world, people were drinking, praying, rioting,
it missed the Moon, as many people thought it
fornicating—all the things people did when
would, the Moon’s gravity would tear it to
they thought their time was up. Shawn had
pieces. That same gravity would also def lect
run through a million scenarios of her own,
its orbit, f linging those pieces back outward
but ultimately this was what she wanted most.

into the outer solar system without a turn

To watch the greatest astronomical event of
around the Sun. In dozens to hundreds of
her life, to actually witness it f irst hand,
years, those pieces might each return as small-
through her own telescope. She had hitched a
er comets, but nothing like the original.

ride with her high school physics teacher,

If it struck—which Shawn believed it
who had promised her dad she would be safe.

would—that would be another matter. The

She wished she could believe that, too. She
comet’s nucleus was still in one piece, a piece
knew intellectually that she was, that the odds
nearly twenty kilometer across, and it would
of danger were tiny, that even if a mountain of

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JERRY OLTION

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rock were blasted toward Earth it could be
looked to the east. A tiny triangle of yellow days before it hit; but when an entire world
poked up above the horizon, visibly growing
was freaking out, it was hard to remain calm
as she watched. The Moon was rising. Rush-
just because you knew the odds.

ing to meet its attacker—but no, that was the

She heard footsteps in the grass behind her
wrong image. The Moon moved eastward in
and turned to see who it was. There was
its orbit. It was actually f leeing the comet, if
enough skyglow behind them that all she
you wanted to get technical. Just not fast
could make out was a silhouette. It was some-
enough. Not nearly fast enough. It would only
one about her age, by the way they walked.

take another two hours for the comet to catch

Someone male. Someone shy, with his hands
up. Two hours until she knew whether she
in his pockets and his shoulders hunched.

would live or die.

“Hi, Arthur,” she said.

Arthur pushed the front of the telescope

“Hey, Shawn.” He stopped beside her,
down until the tube was parallel to the grass
about three feet away, and scuffed a shoe in
and sat cross-legged beside it. Even so, he had
the grass.

to bend down to reach the eyepiece.

“Want to look?”

“It’s, um, it’s like you too,” he said.

“Sure.”

She did laugh this time, but her voice had

She stood aside and he bent down to the
an edge to it that made her decide not to try
eyepiece. She didn’t have to explain to him
that again until after whatever was going to
how to move the scope. He didn’t have one of
happen had happened.

his own, but he came to star parties all the

“I mean it,” Arthur said. “You’re beautiful
time. He watched for a while, then without
and I never had the nerve to tell you before.

looking up, said, “You’re beautiful, isn’t it?”

Not like you need me telling you in order to

“What?”

f igure it out, but I’ve wanted to tell you any-

“It,” he said hastily. “The comet. It’s beauti-
way ever since we met, and this might be my
ful. Even if it could kill us all.”

last chance, and if it’s not that’s even better be-

“Yeah.” She felt the heat in her cheeks, and
cause then maybe we’d have some time to ac-
was glad it was dark. Arthur probably was,
tually go out on a date or something. If you’d
too. She said, “Do you think it’s going to hit?”

go out with me.” He was still looking into the

He looked up at her. At that angle, with the
eyepiece.

light from the comet above him, she could ac-

Shawn felt a little shiver run all through her.

tually see his face pretty well. He looked older

She looked up at the comet, then around at
than she remembered him. If he tried to buy
the meadow full of astronomers. “Looks like
beer tonight, he might get away with it. He
we’re already out,” she said.

said, “I . . . yeah. Probably. The best estimate

At that he turned toward her and grinned.

of the nucleus diameter puts at least a kilome-

“I guess we are. You want to look?”

ter of it below the surface. And there are

“Sure.” They traded places, and Shawn
mountains at least a couple kilometers high in
watched the Moon rise. It was just a couple
its path, too.”

days past full, the dark crescent rising f irst,

Shawn almost laughed. That was so Arthur.

glowing softly in combined Earthlight and

But she knew the measurements, too. She had
comet glow. Compared to that, the bright side
helped refine them, carefully observing back-
was a spotlight, shimmering wildly in the tur-
ground stars as they blinked out and back
bulent air close to the horizon. She imagined
when the comet passed in front of them. As-
it shivering at the thought of what was about
tronomy was one of the few hobbies where an
to happen to it, but its heavily scarred surface
amateur could still collect valuable data. Trou-
belied that. The Moon was no stranger to
ble was, the comet had so much gas and dust
comet impacts. Several million years had
around it, stars didn’t disappear and reappear
passed since the last one, but that was the
instantly the way they did when an asteroid
blink of an eye to the Moon. Whatever hap-
passed in front of them. It didn’t reflect radar
pened tonight would barely affect it.

well, either. There were easily a couple of kilo-

She watched for a while, then let Arthur
meters of error in the measurements.

watch some more. They didn’t talk much; he

Someone called out, “There it is!” and she
had apparently decided to quit while he was

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ahead, and she had no idea what to say either.

he said, “you look again.”

Out in the meadow, red flashlights clicked

She did, but saw only the same old Moon.

on and off as people checked their watches.

She couldn’t even identify any new craters.

They didn’t really need to protect their night

Whatever had hit it, then, must not have been
vision tonight, not with the Moon and the
very big. “A few ice boulders must have drift-
comet so bright, but astronomers were crea-
ed ahead of the nucleus,” she said.

tures of habit. They used red lights.

Arthur leaned back to look around her.

Someone turned on a radio. The strident

“Man, it looks close now.”

voice of a talk-show host put Shawn on edge.

Shawn looked up, gauging the distance,

Apparently someone else closer to the radio
then back into the eyepiece. She pushed the
felt the same way, because it clicked off a mo-
front of the scope a degree or so to the north-
ment later and she heard a soft “Sorry.”

west, and the nucleus of the comet swept into

Mr. Hughes came around to see how she
view. For a moment it looked like a rocket
was doing. He looked old tonight, too. Maybe
zooming across the field, but even when she
it was the light.

stopped pushing the scope, it moved visibly

The comet drew closer to the Moon. The
toward the Moon.

Moon went from yellow to white as it left the

“Just a couple more minutes,” she said.

horizon behind. The night air grew colder.

“You keep looking,” Arthur said. “It’s your

Shawn and Arthur drew closer together, sit-
scope.”

ting side-by-side and leaning left and right so

She couldn’t have pried herself away from
one could look through the scope, then the
the eyepiece if she’d wanted to. She kept her
other. They weren’t quite touching. As the
left hand on the rim of the tube, pulling steadi-

Moon rose, they slowly straightened their
ly now to keep the comet’s nucleus in view.

backs, then had to stretch to reach the eye-

The scope was already focused as well as she
piece.

could get it; there was nothing for her right

“You’re almost as tall as me,” Arthur said.

hand to do except take Arthur’s hand and

“Five-eight,” Shawn replied.

squeeze.

“I’m five eleven and a half.”

“Miss,” she whispered. “Please miss. Dear

“And a half ?”

God, if there is a God, please make it miss.”

“I’m very proud of that half,” he admitted.

Her father, if he could see and hear her

“In shoes, I’m over six feet.”

now, would be white as the face of the Moon.

“Ah.” She looked at him. Mostly a shadow,

His little girl blaspheming and holding a boy’s
with a few highlights here and there. His eyes
hand at the same time. His world would al-
sparkled in the moonlight.

ready be shattered.

A few telescopes away, someone gasped,

Impact, if it happened, would be near the
then said, “I saw a flash! In Mare Imbrium, just
crater Copernicus, at the southwestern end of
south of Plato.”

the Apennine mountains. The people with

Shawn and Arthur both went for the eye-
computerized scopes would all be watching
piece. Their heads met with a solid thunk.

that, waiting for the comet to sweep into view

“Sorry!” Arthur said. “Go for it.”

and hoping they had their eyes on the right

Shawn didn’t argue. She had to push the
spot, but Shawn kept her eyes on the comet.

Moon into view, then find Imbrium and Plato,

Wherever it hit, she would be watching.

but she didn’t see anything unusual there.

It seemed to be taking forever. She could

That part of the surface was in full sunlight, so
hardly breathe. She was afraid to breathe any-
there wasn’t much contrast. But it must have
way. What if she fogged the eyepiece? What if
been quite a strike to show a f lash. Maybe
the secondary mirror dewed up anyway?

there would be secondar y impacts. She

What if the comet hit? What if it didn’t?

watched for ten, f ifteen seconds, but saw

Arthur’s hand was warm. What was she go-
nothing unusual.

ing to do about that?

“You look,” she said, leaning away.

“It’s right there,” he whispered.

Arthur did, and almost instantly said, “Oh,

“They’re both in the same f ield of view,”

yeah, there was another one!” Other voices
she said. “It’s getting closer. Closer. It’s cross-
echoed his throughout the meadow. “Here,”

ing the dark limb. Over Mare Crisium. Sea of

10

JERRY OLTION

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Tranquility. Approaching the — oh! It’s
and there’s secondary impacts everywhere, sparkling!”

but I can still see part of Copernicus, so it

“I see it,” Arthur said. “Like a Roman can-
couldn’t have been a direct hit.”

dle. No, those other things. What are they

Shawn blinked hard, then forced her eyes to
called?”

stay open until the afterimages subsided. The

“Sparklers?”

comet’s nucleus was brighter than the bright

“Right.” He laughed.

face of the Moon, brighter than anything she

“Approaching the Apennines,” she said.

had ever seen in the sky besides the Sun. It

There was a big flash, so bright she couldn’t
swept downward past the Moon’s edge and
see anything else. She blinked, but that eye
off into space again, growing visibly wider and
was useless now, full of afterimages. She shift-
brighter as it did. Through its tail, the Moon
ed to the other, saw a spray of incandescent
sparkled like a distant city on the fourth of
rock splashing outward amid more sparkles,

July, but there were no angry red scars, no
then another flash filled that eye with afterim-
new seas full of instantly melted lava.

ages, too.

“Do you see any ejecta rising?” she asked.

“You look!” she said, leaning away from the

“No.”

eyepiece. She blinked and squinted and

“Let me look.”

looked directly at the Moon, but all she could

Arthur moved aside, and she leaned in.

see were two big blobs of light that exploded

They were still holding hands. In the midst of
again and again every time she blinked.

all this, they were still holding hands. He was

“Was that the big one?” she asked, “or did it
looking toward the Moon, past her, his face lit
just shear the tops off a couple of mountains?”

up by the spectacle a quarter million miles

“I don’t know. It’s still—wow! Wow, wow,
away, and before she could stop herself she
wow. That was Copernicus’s rim wall going
leaned toward him and kissed him. Then she
down, for sure.”

looked into the eyepiece, and after a long,

Cries of dismay and delight filled the mead-
silent minute or so during which she saw no
ow. “It just grazed!” someone shouted, and
big chunks of the Moon flying away, only the
someone else said, “You call that a graze, you
comet nucleus which was already expanding
fucking idiot? It fucking hit! We’re all fucking into vapor, she decided they were going to
dead! ”

live.

“How bad is it?” Shawn asked quietly.

“End of the world, hah,” she said, and she

“I don’t know,” Arthur said. “It didn’t leave
laughed, and she kissed him again.

a huge gouge or anything. There’s this big ball
of plasma roaring off across the bright limb,

Progress always involves risk; you can't steal second base and keep your foot on first.

—Frederick Wilcox

You may never know what results come from your action. But if you do nothing, there will be no result.

—Mahatma Gandhi

IN THE MOMENT

11

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Science Fact

The Great

Ptolemaic

Smackdown
and

Down-and-Dirty

Mud-Wrassle

Michael F. Flynn

History must be curved, for there is a
n oral societies this horizon lies typically at
horizon in the affairs of mankind. Be-
eighty years, but historical consciousness
yond this horizon, events pass out of
endures longer in literate societies, and the

I
historical consciousness and into myth.

horizon may fall as far back as three cen-

Accounts are shortened, complexities
turies. Arthur, a late f ifty-century war leader,
sloughed off, analogous f igures fused,
had become by the time of Charlemagne the
traditions “abraded into anecdotes.”

subject of an elaborate story cycle. Three cen-

Real people become culture heroes: ar-
turies later, troubadours had done the same to
chetypical beings performing iconic

Charlemagne himself. History had slipped
deeds. (Vansina 1985)

over the horizon and become the stuff of leg-
end.1

12

MICHAEL F. FLYNN

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This suggests that seventeenth-century
the center is a nobler position. So f ire has to
histor y has already become myth.

be in the center. QED.

Jamestown is reduced to “Pocahontas,” and

There are many names for this sort of think-

Massachusetts boils down to “the First
ing, but “scientific” is not one of them. Aristo-

Thanksgiving.” And the story of how helio-
tle says of the Pythagoreans:

centrism replaced geocentrism has become

In all this they are not seeking for theo-
a Genesis Myth, in which a culture-hero
ries and causes to account for observed
performs iconic deeds that aff irm the right-
facts, but rather forcing their observa-
ness of Our Modern World-view.

tions and trying to accommodate them
to certain theories and opinions of their

Eppur non si muove!

own.

In “What Science Means to Me,” Jerr y

—Aristotle, On the heavens II.13.293a

Oltion states that the geocentric model was

So heliocentrism, not geocentrism, was
based on “argument from f irst principles,”

“dogma deduced from first principles.” Sure,
needed continual “patching” to account for
they guessed right; but if science was just
new data, and owed more to dogma than to
lucky guesses, we’d credit Jonathon Swift with
science (Oltion 2012).

discovering the moons of Mars.

So goes Legend. History begs to differ. Geo-
centrism was an empirical model based on ob-

How could astronomers
ser vation, and lasted for two millennia
have been so stoopid?

because it accounted for the sensible motions

Heliocentrism was falsif ied because it en-
of the stars. Go outside. You can watch the
tailed observations that were not in fact ob-
heavens travel in perfectly circular motions
served.

from east to west, as if each heavenly body

1. If the Earth turns, “we and the trees and
were embedded in a framework of some “dark
houses are moved toward the east very swift-
matter” turning around the Earth.

ly, and so it should seem that the air and

But (I hear you say) they aren’t! They don’t!

wind blow continuously and strongly from

Oh, yeah? Prove it!

the east. . . . But the contrary appears by ex-
perience.” 3

Heliocentric Woo-woo

2. If we shoot an arrow straight up, the

This isn’t as easy as you may think, especial-
earth will move to the east below it, so it
ly if all you have are “eyeballs and armillaries.”

should fall a good distance to the west. But the

We believe the Earth moves because we’ve
contrary is clear.

been taught that. Most folks have no clue how

3. If the Sun were at the center of the
to demonstrate it.2

World, heavy objects would fall toward the

But . . . didn’t Aristarchus and the Pythagore-

Sun, not to the Earth as we commonly see.

ans propose heliocentrism in ancient times? If

4. If the Earth were revolving around the
only they had prevailed, we might have had

Sun, there should be visible parallax among

Real Science millennia sooner. What was their
the fixed stars. There is none.4
evidence?

A further objection was introduced by Gio-

Well, you see, Fire is nobler than earth and
vanni Riccioli in his Almagestum Novum.

1 In AD 778, a Basque war party ambushed the Carolingian rear guard ( Annales regni francorum). Forty years later, Einhard, a minister of Charlemagne, mentioned “Roland, prefect of the Breton Marches” among those killed (“Hruodlandus Brittannici limitis praefectus,”Vita karoli magni). But by 1098, Roland the

“paladin” had become the central character, the Basques had become Saracens, and a magic horn and tale of treachery had been added ( La chanson de Roland). Compare the parallel fate of a Hopi narrative regarding a Navajo ambush (Vansina, pp. 19-20).

2 Analog readers may be a partial exception. Take a moment and jot down how you would do it.

3 An ancient version of the Michelson-Morley experiment!

4 Based on brightness and apparent diameter, stellar distance was an incredible 73 million miles (Campanus of Novara, ca. 1250). Even so, parallax should have been visible to the naked eye. (Edward Grant, “Cosmology,” in Lindberg 1978, p.292.)

THE GREAT PTOLEMAIC SMACKDOWN . . .

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5. If the Earth is rotating, objects dropped
them.5 There was no room for such foo-foo as
from a great height should fall east of the
epicycles; and no philosophical justif ication
plumb line because they have a greater hori-
for the @$% equants.

zontal velocity. No such def lection is ob-

The astronomers’ only excuse was that their
served.

calculations worked. The physicists groused,

Today, we have answers to these (and oth-

“Sure, they work in practice, but do they work er) objections; but those answers depend on
in theory?”

measurements or concepts not then available,

There was only one solution.

like inertia or inverse squares. For example,
we could counter the f irst hypothesis by

Astronomy was not physics!

claiming common motion and many did. But

Moderns find this hard to grasp, but the an-
you cannot save one unproven hypothesis by
cients did not consider astronomy a physical

“patching” on another unproven hypothesis.

science. It was a specialized branch of mathe-

(Christie, But it doesn’t move! 2011)

matics. Except to Pythagorean woo-woos, the
devices of astronomy did not imply physical

Another fine math you’ve gotten us into
existence. Retrograde motion was physical; There were only two practical reasons for
but epicycles were merely convenient algo-
studying the heavens: to prepare calendars
rithms to calculate that motion.

and to cast horoscopes. Later, oceanic naviga-

Grains of medieval salt
tion became important. For these, you need

After digesting Aristotle, the medievals be-
more than a “designated center,” you need a
gan to eliminate parts. Bradwardine, demol-
complete mathematical model. Claudius Ptole-
ished Aristotelian motion using the “new
maeus perfected such a model with Syntaxis
math” (fractions) and coined terms like “in-

Mathematiké (a.k.a. The Almagest)—includ-stantaneous motion” to explain it. Anticipat-
ing the method we still use today to record
ing Duhem and Quine, Thomas Aquinas noted
stellar positions. So calendars could be made,
the underdetermination of science regarding
and the fates of kings predicted.

astronomical models:

One wee problem: it conf licted with Aris-

“The theory of eccentrics and epicycles
totelian physics.

is considered as established because
thereby the sensible appearances of the

The Ptolemaic model was not strictly geo-
heavenly movements can be explained;
centric. The planets are carried by their orbs
not, however, as if this proof were suffi-
along a circular path called a deferent, but to cient, forasmuch as some other theory
account for the changes in speed that we now
might explain them.”

associate with Kepler’s equal area law, the def-

—Summa theologica, I, q.32, a.1, ad. 26
erent was centered not on the Earth but on a

That is, the same finite set of facts might be
point halfway between the Earth and an imag-
explained by different theories. The medievals
inary locus called an equant. Each planet was knew about the Pythagorean model, and also
solved separately, so each had a different cen-
the geo-heliocentric model of Heraclides of
ter. To account for retrograde motion and

Pontus, which accounted for the constrained
changes in size and brightness, planets moved
motions of Mercury and Venus by having
on a second circle called an epicycle centered
them circle the Sun while the Sun and the oth-
on the deferent. Unwittingly, Ptolemy seems
er planets circled the Earth.

to be goading circles to act like ellipses.

By the fourteenth century, astronomers had

These mathematical devices really, really
begun thinking not only in terms of mathe-
bugged the physicists. In Aristotelian physics
matical devices, but of physical reality.7
all the orbs were homocentric on the Earth.

Nicholas Oresme and later Nicholas of Cusa

The orbs were like nested ball bearings made
began to consider the possibility of a rotating
of aether, which carried the planets within
earth. Using Witelo’s principle of relativity,

5 Hence, there should be no “aether wind.”

6 See also his Commentary on De caelo, II, lect. 17

7 (Crombie 1959) pp166 et seq.

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Oresme subverted the best positive evidence

Nicholas Copernicus, a canon lawyer at
for the geostationary Earth—the apparent mo-

Frauenberg cathedral, was a medical practi-
tion of the heavens.

tioner, financial advisor, and was once short-

. . . one cannot demonstrate by any
listed for the bishop’s seat. He was also a
experience whatever that the heavens
gifted “mathematicus.”9 But he was not a sci-
are moved with daily movement, be-
entist in our modern sense. He made few em-
cause, regardless of whether it has been
pirical observations, instead doing new math
posited that the heavens, and not the
on existing data: Peuerbach’s Epitome in Al-
earth, are so moved or that the earth
magestum and Gerard of Cremona’s twelfth
and not the heavens is moved, if an ob-
century Latin translation of the Almagest. He server is in the heavens and sees the
defended heliocentrism by quoting Hermes
earth clearly, the earth would seem to

Trismegistus, “a nonexistent propagator of
be moved; and if the observer were on
more woo than you pack into an articulated
the earth, the heavens would seem to
truck,” according to Thony Christie. And he
be moved. (Oresme 1999)

wanted to save the Platonic axiom of purely

He also showed how Scriptural references
circular orbits by ridding the World of those
to a stationary Earth could be read. Unlike a

@$% equants.

certain Tuscan layman who later got in deep

Cardinal Nicolaus von Schönberg and Bish-
kimchee for amateur exegesis, Oresme was a
op Giese urged him to publish, but he had al-
pro: a theologian and bishop. If only he’d had
ready been satirized on the stage and dreaded
a telescope!8
the mockery of those who “on account of

The medieval Church taught that naïve-liter-
their natural stupidity hold the position
al readings should be abandoned when they
among philosophers as drones among bees.”10
conflicted with something known for certain,

De revolutionibus caused great excitement
as St. Augustine had pointed out in Late Antiq-
among mathematicians when it appeared.

uity:

However, the enthusiasm quickly dried up;

“In the Gospel we do not read that the
and for a reason that startles us Moderns.

Lord said: ‘I send you the Holy Spirit so

The new system was no improvement.

that He might teach you all about the
course of the sun and the moon.’ The

The failure of Copernicanism

Lord wanted to make Christians, not as-

Folks who know only the Legend suppose
tronomers. You learn at school all the
the transition to heliocentrism was simply a
useful things you need to know about
matter of putting the center here instead of nature.”

there. But it’s not enough for a new model to

—Contra Faustum manichaeum, I:10
equal the standard model; it must do better.

With the right equipment, they might have

And the Copernican model did not.

had a renaissance. Instead, they got the Re-

Nor were its calculations simpler. To pre-
naissance.

serve Platonic circles, Copernicus used twice
as many circles as Peuerbach’s then-current

The return of mystical woo-woo
edition of Ptolemy! The Earth revolved around

The Italian Renaissance was a humanist re-
the Sun on two circles; the Moon ran on an
action against Aristotelian obsessions with
unprecedented double epicycle, and Mercury logic, reason, and natural philosophy. Greco-librated idiosyncratically across the center of

Roman art and literature were “rediscovered.”

an epicycle. Try explaining that with a theory Platonic mysticism was revived, along with as-of universal gravitation! Technically, Coperni-
trology, magic, and Pythagoreanism. Natural
canism wasn’t even heliocentric: The Sun is
science faltered; but since astronomy was only
off-center, and planetary motions are refer-
mathematics, it prospered.

enced to the center of the Earth’s orbit in-

8 Coincidentally, in “Quaestiones super caelo et mundo,” Analog (July/August 2007), he did!

9 Hey, he was a Renaissance Man™

10 From the Dedication (Copernicus, Nicholas; Charles Wallis (trans) 1952). The Renaissance replaced the syllogism with the witty insult.

THE GREAT PTOLEMAIC SMACKDOWN . . .

15

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ANALOG

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stead. And because each planet was solved as
knew about it, but underestimated its effects
a separate problem, each planet orbits a dif-
away from the horizon.

ferent center!

At least he got rid of those @$% equants.

The Imperial Mathematician, Nicolai

There were two reasons for the failure:

Reymers Bär, styled “Ursus,” proposed a simi-

• Copernicus insisted on Platonic circles; and
lar model—but with a rotating Earth. Tycho

• Accumulated copyist errors in the Alfon-
accused him of plagiarizing his data and a feud
sine Tables carried into his Prussian Tables.

developed that caught a young math teacher

What a let-down. If only the data were bet-
named Johann Kepler smack in the middle.

ter!

Like many new authors, Kepler had sent
copies of his book to famous people, hoping

Anything you can do I can do better
for blurbs.12 Ursus used Kepler’s thank-you

Irritated by both models, Tycho Brahe set
note to make it seem that Kepler favored the
out to gather new, precise data. He designed

Ursine over the Tychonic model. Since Kepler
and calibrated new instruments and compiled
was asking Tycho for a job at the time, this
meticulous observations with errors as small
caused problems.

as the width of a quarter seen from a football

Kepler also received an unsolicited fan let-
field away.

ter from an unknown math professor at Padua

And produced a geo-heliocentric system re-
whose name amused him. “His forename and
garded today as a kludge.

family name are the same!” Kepler wrote to a

How did he manage that? Like any good sci-
friend. “Galileus Galileus.” In Italian, Galileo
entist, he followed the data. (Graney, 2012)

Galilei.

Procyon appeared the same diameter and
brightness as Saturn. If it were much farther

The Last Hurrah of Eyeball Astronomy
than 100 times Saturn’s distance, simple

Copernicus had really messed up his analy-
geometry proved its actual size would dwarf
sis of Mars. Tycho had already eliminated one
the sun. All the stars would dwarf the Sun, Copernican error—the “trepidations of the
which would then be the only pea in a uni-
equinoxes” was simply observational error—
verse of melons.11 But if Procyon were any
now he hired Kepler to fix the orbit of Mars;
closer, there would be visible parallax if the
though, remembering Ursus, the secretive Ty-

Earth revolved around the sun. Lack of paral-
cho would not allow Kepler to make copies of
lax coupled with the apparent size of the stars
the data. But when Kepler succeeded Tycho
therefore required a stationary Earth.

(who had succeeded Ursus) as Imperial Math-

Because Tycho otherwise admired Coperni-
ematician in 1601, he negotiated better access
cus’ treatment, his solution was an updated
with Longomontanus, Tycho’s long-time assis-

Heraclidean model: all planets circling the
tant.

Sun, and the Sun and Moon circling the Earth!

Kepler worked Mars in the Ptolemaic,

His great kludge was thus the best model that

Copernican, and Tychonic models, and none
accounted for the data. Further, it was mathe-
of them gave a good account. He assumed (as
matically equivalent to the Copernican mod-

Copernicus had not) that all orbital planes
el. Anything the one model could do the other passed through the Sun, which reduced the
model could do as well.

error to eight or nine arc minutes. Not good

Hey (I hear you say) Procyon doesn’t have enough. He tried re-introducing the @$%^&
a disk!

equants, though his heart wasn’t in it.13

Right. It’s atmospheric aberration. Tycho

A Neoplatonic mystic, Kepler was con-
vinced that physics must reduce to simple

11 In response, the Copernicans cried Goddidit! “Who cares how big the stars are?” wrote Christoph Roth-mann, since an infinite Creator God is far bigger still.

12 Mysterium Cosmographicum was called by Christie “a strange Renaissance piece of Platonic Pythagorean mathematical mysticism that however revealed its author to be a very good mathematical astronomer.”

13 Crombie 1959, .pp. 176-182.

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Comparison of Ptolemaic and Copernican/Modern Values Ratio of Radii * Mean Distance Modern Value

Ptolemaic

Modern Value

(Ptolemaic)

(from Sun, in

Angular

Sidereal Mean

AU)

Velocity **

Motion

(Copernican)

(deg./day)

(deg./day)

Mercury

0.3708

0.3763

0.3871

4.09233

4.09234

Venus

0.7194

0.7193

0.7233

1.60214

1.60213

Sun

0.98563

0.98561

Mars

1.5206

1.5198

1.5237

0.52406

0.52403

Jupiter

5.2167

5.2192

5.2028

0.08312

0.08309

Saturn

9.2336

9.1743

9.5389

0.03349

0.03346

* Epicycle/Deferent for the inferior planets; deferent/epicycle for the superior. The Sun had no epicycle.

** Along epicycles for the inferior planets and along deferents for the superior.

Table after Crombie, p. 173
mathematical forms, but he was more liberal
lished theory is that there is never just one as-
than either Copernicus or Galileo. He began
sumption in the theory.16 Kepler decided to
to try ovals.

chuck two basics of physics: that planetary

This bugged Longomontanus, who accused
motion was a) uniform around b) circles. The

Kepler of shoveling shit.14 Kepler replied:

reason why Mars seemed to speed up or slow

If you are angry that I cannot elimi-
down was that—wait for it—it was speeding
nate the oval path, how much more
up and slowing down, and not moving uni-
ought you to be angry with the spirals
formly around a circular epicycle riding along

[epicycles], which I abolished. . . .

a circular (but off-center) deferent. This al-

This is like being punished for leaving
most worked. In 1604 he gave up Platonic cir-
behind one barrow full of shit al-
cles.

though I have cleaned the rest of the

He was able to show geometrically that

Augean stables.15
movement along an ellipse was mathematical-

The mathematical difficulty of ovals had led
ly equivalent to movement along an epicycle

Kepler to complain earlier to David Fabricius:

on a deferent. Shazaam!—the Martian orbit

“I lack something: knowledge of the geo-
suddenly made sense!

metrical generation of the oval path . . . If

Without Tycho’s precise new data, Kepler
the f igure were a perfect ellipse . . . !” Yeah,
would never have found his ellipse. The old ta-
if only.

bles were too badly corrupted. And a good

One of the difficulties in falsifying an estab-
thing too that Tycho had assigned Kepler to

14 Literally. In a letter of 6 May 1604, he told Kepler he was submerged in shit in the Augean stable of old . . .

15 Cited in James R. Voelkel, The Composition of Kepler’s Astronomia Nova, Princeton Univ. Press, Princeton and Oxford, 2001, quoted at The Renaissance Mathematicus, http://thonyc.wordpress.com/2010/11/21/shovelling-shit/

16 Falsification: IF theory p THEN consequence q and NOT-q, then NOT-p. But Duhem pointed out that no physical theory consists of a single p. Instead we have IF p and p and . . . p then q and NOT-q, then 1

2
n

(NOT-p or NOT-p or . . . NOT-p ). Thus, when no stellar parallax was observed, it was not heliocentrism 1

2
n
that was falsified, as Archimedes and the rest believed, but the assumed stellar distances. But they had no way yet of confirming that empirically. (And just to keep things interesting, Carnap pointed out that there is never just one q, either. (Wallace 1996, pp. 244-249.) THE GREAT PTOLEMAIC SMACKDOWN . . .

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work on Mars rather than Venus! Venus’ orbit

Keplerian. Heliocentric, with elliptical or-
is nearly a perfect circle, while Mars has the
bits.

most elliptical orbit of the then-known plan-

The Tychonic model blew away the Hera-
ets.17
cleidan model, but to decide among the re-

Kepler wrote this up in Astronomia nova
mainder required not simply new data, but

(1609). Since he believed mathematics caused
new kinds of data.

physics, he decided that there must be a uni-
versal cause of planetary motions: the Sun pro-

The far-seeing look-glass
jected a field, which by rotating would chivvy

Astronomers from Hipparchus to Tycho
the planets around their ellipses which an im-
had been able to gauge only the position,
petus inversely proportional to their distance.

movement, brightness, and size of the stars

Okay, you can’t get everything; but this pre-
and planets.19 That all changed with the look-
pared the way for Newton. He thought the
glass and the era of Gosh! Wow! Look! astron-
f ield was the Holy Spirit, which proceeded
omy. Harriot and Galileo saw mountains on
from the Father (the Sun) toward the Son (the
the Moon. Galileo and Marius saw moons
fixed stars). This did not prepare the way for
around Jupiter. Later, Harriot, the Fabricii,

Newton.

Scheiner, and Galileo saw sunspots, all within

Game, set, and match, dudes! Except for
months of one another.20
one thing. He had only Platonic number mys-

Lunar mountains? Jovian moons? Hooray for
ticism. He had no empirical evidence that his

Copernicus! Down with Ptolemy!

model was physically true. It predicted the

In March 1611, Galileo went to Rome to
heavens; but so did the Tychonic system.

promote The Sidereal Message and was cele-

Kepler sent a copy of Astronomia nova to
brated in a round of parties and banquets. On

Galileo—but Galileo never read it.18

Friday the 13 of May, the Jesuits (who had
conf irmed Galileo’s observations with their

The Magnificent Seven
own telescopes) threw a big shindig for him at

In case you’re keeping tabs, there were by
the Roman College. Afterward Galileo could
this time seven models in play (Christie,
be called a “celebrated” astronomer.21

Galileo’s great bluff 2010).

But that Jupiter has moons does not prove

Heraclidean. Geo-heliocentric. Mercury
that the Earth circles the Sun. It only proves
and Venus circle the Sun; everything else cir-
that not everything directly circles the Earth—
cles the Earth.

and Tycho had already dealt with that. The

Ptolemaic. Geocentric, stationary Earth.

physics problem was not where the Sun and

Copernican. Heliocentric, pure circles

Earth are situated, but whether the Earth is in with lots of epicycles.

motion.

Gilbertian. Geocentric, rotating Earth

Neither discovery laid a glove on Ptolemaic

(William Gilbert, in De magnete).

astronomy.

Tychonic. Geo-heliocentric. Sun and Moon
circle the Earth; everything else circles the

The Last Hurrah of Claude Ptolemy

Sun.

Try telling that to Galileo. In a letter to his

Ursine. Tychonic, with rotating Earth.

former student Castelli (Dec. 1610), he wrote
that those not convinced of the truth of

17 Except Mercury, which was hard to observe by eyeball.

18 This was typical of Galileo. Even after his friend Cesi wrote him (21 July 1612) extolling the need for ellipses, Galileo stuck with Copernicus’ perfect Platonic circles – and epicycles.

19 Aristotle, quite aware of this, cautioned against accepting his cosmology as certain.

20 Galileo discovered the first three moons of Jupiter on 7 January 1610. Simon Marius, court mathematician in Ansbach Franconia, discovered them independently one day later. But Marius was using the Julian Calendar while Galileo was using the Gregorian, so Marius erroneously claimed priority. Galileo went into flame mode and accused him of plagiarism, but their notebooks make clear that their observations were independent. Marius’ were more precise.

21 Because to be a celebrity there had to be a formal celebration.

18

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Copernicus were bookish philosophers who
seemed contrary, and we would rather
cared only for the empty applause of the vul-
have to say that we did not understand
gar crowds.22 He was a charmer, all right.

them than to say that something was

Lacking evidence, he wanted Copernicanism
false which has been demonstrated. But
accepted on faith.

I do not believe that there is any such

The true telescopic revolution was to con-
demonstration; none has been shown
vert the planets from lights in the sky to ob-
to me. It is not the same thing to show
jects about which physical discoveries could
that the appearances are saved by as-
be made. Astronomy began to transition from
suming that the sun really is in the cen-
the math department to the physics depart-
ter and the earth in the heavens. I
ment.23
believe that the one demonstration

In September 1610, Galileo discovered that
might exist, but I have grave doubts

Venus went behind the Sun. This was predict-
about the other, and in a case of doubt,
ed by the Copernican model, but was incom-
one may not depart from the Scriptures
patible with the Ptolemaic (and Gilbertian)

as explained by the holy Fathers. (Bel-
model. Two thousand years of scientific con-
larmine 1999)

sensus went on the ash heap of history.

But the phases of Venus were also predicted

In short: Show me the proof. Until then,
by the Tychonic/Ursine models. So Ptolemy
stick with the settled science.

was down for the count, but not the station-

Galileo’s former pupil Castelli meanwhile
ary Earth.

had been questioned at dinner by the Grand

Duchess Christina, the mother of Galileo’s

Bellarmino throws a flag
boss, on the matter of Scripture. Galileo, typi-

Because they agreed with long-settled sci-
cally, decided Castelli had not answered as
ence, certain Scripture passages regarding the
well as Galileo would have in his place, so he
f ixity of the Earth had been read by the sec-
wrote to Castelli and explained how Scripture
ond and third century Church Fathers as nar-
could be reinterpreted in the light of Coperni-
rative-literal. And while the Church had
canism. Big mistake.

abandoned such readings when there was cer-

After reading a copy of this letter, Domini-
tainty that they could not be literal, they did
can Niccolo Lorini denounced Galileo and his
not do so when there was merely plausibility.

followers to the Holy Off ice (7 February

The Protestant Reformation was in high gear,

1615) for “taking upon themselves to ex-
and everyone was gun-shy about Scripture.

pound the Holy Scriptures according to their

Consequently, when Carmelite priest Paolo
private lights.” Copernicanism was cited as Foscarini wrote a book in 1615 defending
only Galileo’s motive for private interpreta-Copernicanism, and explained how the Scrip-
tion.

tures could be read contrary to the Church Fa-

Getting wind of this, Galileo asked his
thers, he sounded an awful lot like Martin
friend Archbishop Piero Dini to scope things

Luther and had to be reminded that he was
out. Dini replied 7 March:

not actually a theologian. Bellarmino wrote to

As to Copernicus, [Cardinal Bellarmino]

him:

said that he could not believe his work

[I]f there were a true demonstration
would be forbidden, and that the worst
that the sun was in the center of the
possibility, in his opinion, would be the
universe and the earth in the third
insertion of a note stating that the theo-
sphere, and that the sun did not travel
ry was introduced to save the celestial
around the earth but the earth circled
appearances, or some similar expres-
the sun, then it would be necessary to
sion, in the same way as epicycles had
proceed with great caution in explain-
been introduced. With this reservation,
ing the passages of Scripture which
he continued, you would be at liberty

22 Shea, William R. & Mariano Artigas 2003, p. 26

23 The telescope quickly reached China and the Ottoman and Mughal Empires; but it triggered no scientific revolution there. (Huff 2011)

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to speak freely on these matters when-
ever you liked . . . [Regarding Scriptural

Urban renewal
passages] I [Dini] answered that the

Suddenly, in August, 1623, the news

Holy Scriptures might be considered in
burst like a star shell over the bleak
this place as simply employing our usu-
landscape: Maffeo Barberini had been
al form of speech, but the Cardinal said
elected Pope. There was rejoicing in
that in dealing with such a question we

Florence . . . Urban VIII, as he was now,
must not be too hasty, just as it would
was a friend of the arts and a Lycean
not be right to rush into condemnation
academic himself. . . . [O]nly three years
of anyone for holding the [Copernican]

before, following the Discourse on the
views which I had put before him . . .

Comets, he had written his “Adulatio

He told me that he intended to invite Fa-
perniciosa” in honor of Galileo.25
ther Grienberger to his house that he

When Prince Cesi went to congratulate Ur-
might discuss the question with him,
ban on his election, the Pope interrupted him
and this very morning I have been to
eagerly: “Is Galileo coming? When is he com-
visit the Father, to see if there were any
ing?”

further news. I found that there was

Galileo rushed to Rome to meet with his old
nothing fresh except that Father Grien-
friend and benefactor—six audiences in six
berger would have been better pleased
weeks!—tête-à-tête over the System of the
if you had first given your proofs before

World. Urban pointed out that it was not
beginning to speak about the Holy
enough to show that a replacement model

Scriptures . . .

was plausible, or even that it worked better

Let’s not be hasty, Bellarmino had told Dini,
than the standard model. You had to show
either to accept or condemn the theory. But
that if the replacement model were false it
while he had no problem with Scripture if
would lead to a contradiction. Then he made

Copernicanism were demonstrated with cer-
a suggestion: Hey, dude, why not write a book
tainty, he did have a problem so long as it re-
setting out the arguments for and against each
mained merely plausible. Theology certainly
system? Galileo thought that was a keen idea.

evolved with new knowledge, but it had to be

The Pope later told Cardinal Zollern (and
knowledge and not just hypothesis. And if he Zollern told Galileo) that “the Church had not
had to warn Foscarini not to play theologian, he
condemned nor was about to condemn
certainly had to warn a layman like Galileo. 24

Copernicanism as heretical but that the theo-

Consequently, in 1616 Galileo was sum-
ry was rash and that, furthermore, astronomi-
moned to Rome where he signed an agree-
cal theories were of such a kind that they
ment not to hold or teach Copernicanism as
could never be shown to be necessarily
proven. Cardinal Maffeo Barberini interceded true.”26
on his behalf, so the injunction was not as se-
vere as it might have been. Galileo returned to

Dialogue of the Deaf

Florence figuring he had come off pretty well.

Galileo intended all along not to weigh the

He’d just whump up a book that would
pros and cons, but to demonstrate Coperni-
demonstrate with certainty the physical reali-
canism beyond all doubt. This was a daunting
ty of the Earth’s dual motion. Then he hit a
task, since the Copernican model was in fact
snag.

wrong. Galileo’s refusal to consider ellipses

He didn’t have such a demonstration.

(or to credit Kepler in any way) was a major

Then opportunity knocked.

obstacle.27

24 On 21 December 1614, Tommaso Caccini had preached a sermon denouncing Copernican views. Caccini’s outraged brethren had then denounced him to the Dominican Master General, who promptly apologized to Galileo. As this and other sources demonstrate, there was no overriding theological concern.

25 (De Santillana 1955) pp. 156-157.

26 Pope beat Popper by 300 years. Letters of Dini and Zollern from Shea & Artigas 2003, pp. 111-112.

27 To be fair, Kepler later said that he had tried to read his own book and found it impossible to follow. Kepler was the better mathematical astronomer; but Galileo was by far the better writer.

20

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Meanwhile, Galileo set about alienating his
to the task. (Graney, 126 Arguments Concern-
biggest fans: the Jesuit astronomers. He had al-
ing the Motion of the Earth 2011)

ready f lamed Scheiner over the sunspots28;

Galileo proposed a test. Find an optical
now it was Grassi’s turn. Grassi had meticu-
double: a small dim star right next to a large
lously observed the three Comets of 1618 and
bright star. Like everyone else, he thought
concluded (as Tycho had in 1577) that comets
small and dim meant farther away and the op-
were on non -circular orbits originating betical double was therefore a near-by star with
yond the Moon. Offended that Grassi didn’t
a small angular distance from a far-off star.

mention him in the book, Galileo marked up

You ought to see parallax. But his notebooks
his copy: “piece of asininity,” “buffoon,” “evil
tell us that he had already tried such an obser-
poltroon,” “ungrateful,” and in The Assayer
vation and had found no parallax. By his own

(1627), he addressed Grassi,
test, he had falsified heliocentrism. So he did

“You cannot help it . . . that it was granted
what any Renaissance scholar worth his salt
to me alone to discover all the new phenome-
would do and kept his mouth shut.

na in the sky and nothing to anybody else.”

So much for Harriot, Marius, Fabricius,

Finally, Galileo devised the Argument of the

Scheiner, and the rest. He also referred to Ty-

Tides: the dual motions of the Earth caused
cho’s “alleged observations” and to comets as
the oceans to slosh about. Belatedly, Galileo

“Tycho’s monkey-planets.” Then, although he
learned that real-world tides followed a
had not observed them himself, he confident-
twelve-hour cycle rather than the twenty-four
ly proclaimed that comets were emanations in
hour cycle his theory predicted, but “his faith
the Earth’s atmosphere! Starting a flame war is
in his theory was greater than his trust in what
bad enough. Starting one when you’re dead
sailors reported.”29 He wrote the Dialogue
wrong is worse.

anyway.

And used Medici muscle to wrangle the nec-

Galileo kept looking for the knock-out
essary permissions. The political maneuvers
punch. At f irst he thought the path of
need not concern us. Fr. Riccardi, Master of
sunspots proved the Earth’s motion. They
the Palace, had enthusiastically approved The
traced a straight line across the Sun’s face only

Assayer but was now being asked “to buy a
during Earth’s solstices. If the Earth circled a
pig in a poke.” He hadn’t read The Dialogue.

Sun inclined to the ecliptic, this semi-annual

“Manipulating Father Riccardi, always so
cycle made sense! But in 1629, Fr. Scheiner ac-
anxious to please, did not seem to them to be
counted for sunspot paths more accurately
objectionable. Hoodwinking Cardinal
and deduced the Sun’s inclination while re-

Francesco Barberini or, worse still, the pope,
taining a stationary Earth. It made sense the
however unwittingly, was another matter.”30

Tychonic way, too.

When the Dialogue came out in 1632, Ur-

Galileo thought he had answered the paral-
ban’s cautions about the uncertainty of astro-
lax problem, too. The stars were much farther
nomical theories had been placed in the
away and the parallax too small to see. But
mouth of Simplicio, in a very prominent posi-
stars seen through telescopes of small aper-
tion in the text. A social climber like Galileo
ture, such as those used in the seventeenth
was not foolish enough to do this on purpose,
century, “appear as well-defined, albeit entire-
but he may have been vain enough to suppose
ly spurious, disks,” which argued against the
that no one would notice. He never could re-

Copernican model for the same reasons Tycho
sist a zinger.

had given. Telescopic resolution wasn’t yet up

Which was not a good idea in Machiavellian

Italy.

28 In an exchange of letters passing through Marcus Welser, Scheiner and Galileo had, in today’s parlance, cross-posted. If rash judgment were an Olympic sport, Galileo would have been the gold medalist.

Sunspots are a side-show in this story, but Scheiner went on to develop the notation still used for sunspot observations and to discover the differential rotation of the Sun’s hemispheres.

29 Shea, William R. & Mariano Artigas 2003, p. 132.

30 Shea, William R. & Mariano Artigas 2003, p. 133

THE GREAT PTOLEMAIC SMACKDOWN . . .

21

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ic refutation. All the models had champions

Got Troubles on My Mind
and opponents both within the Church and

Urban had other concerns. The Thirty Years
among the astronomers. In a letter to Gassendi

War was fourteen years old and the Papacy fa-

(6 Sept. 1633), the great polymath Nicolas de
vored the French Bourbons while trying not

Peiresc reported a remark made by Fr. Athana-
to annoy the Spanish and German Hapsburgs
sius Kircher SJ, who had succeeded Kepler
too badly. The German Hapsburgs ruled Milan
that year as Imperial Mathematician:

and the Spanish the Two Sicilies, with the Pa-

[Fr. Kircher] could not hold himself
pal State smack between. The Spanish cardi-
from admitting . . . that Fr. Malapertius
nals, especially Gasparo Borgia, were in open
and Fr. Clavius himself did not really dis-
dissent from the Francophile policy.31 Galileo’s
approve of the opinions of Copernicus;
friend and supporter, Msgr. Ciampoli, was dis-
in fact, that they were not far from it
covered to be in league with this faction,
themselves, although they had been
while Galileo’s patron, the Grand Duke of Flo-
pressed and ordered to write in favor of
rence, was an ally of the Austro-German Haps-
the common doctrine of Aristotle, and
burgs. And Florence had claims on Roman
that Fr. Scheiner himself followed only
territory, the Duchy of Urbino.

by order and through obedience.

Domestically, the Roman public was dis-

Father Grienberger remarked that “If
gruntled with the Barberini family, and horo-

Galileo had only known how to retain the fa-
scopes were being cast against them
vor of the Jesuits . . . he could have written
predicting an early fall from power. On 18 May
what he pleased about everything, even about

1629, the Roman gossip sheet Avvisi had rethe motion of the Earth.”34
ported that Galileo had cast horoscopes on

Galileo himself wrote:

the Barberini family foretelling the Pope’s im-

But my most holy intention, how clearly
minent death. Not good.32
it would appear if some power would

The last thing Urban needed was some pid-
bring to light the slanders, frauds, strat-
dling hoo-hah over astronomical mathemat-
agems, and trickeries that were used
ics.

eighteen years ago in Rome in order to

Then someone pointed out the apparently
deceive the authorities! . . . You have
gratuitous insult offered in the conclusion of
read my writings, and from them you
the Dialogue.

have certainly understood which was

And the rest is history.33
the true and real motive that caused, un-
der the lying mask of religion, this war

Aftermath
against me . . .35

But this is the story of how heliocentric
models overthrew geocentric ones, and

From Plausible to Proven

Galileo’s Dialogue didn’t do that. In it, he re-The great dishonesty of Galileo’s Dialogue
ferred to his opponents as “dumb idiots” and
was to present a contest between the Coper-

“mental pygmies, hardly deserving the name
nican and Ptolemaic models. By that time,
of human beings,” but while that might pass
both had been smacked down and the real
for Renaissance wit, it will not do for scientif-
contest was between the Tychonic/Ursine

31 At the consistory of 8 March 1632, Borgia denounced Urban for supporting the “Protestant” side and the pro-Hapsburg and pro-Bourbon cardinals got into a fistfight. The Swiss Guard was called to restore order; and from then on, Urban saw Hapsburg plots everywhere.

32 Galileo asked his friend Michelangelo, nephew of the late sculptor, to speak to the Pope’s nephew, Cardinal Francesco Barberini. But before Michelangelo could so much as mention the gossip, the cardinal cut him short. He did not believe a word of it and said that Galileo “had no better friend than the Pope and himself.” Shea, William R. & Mariano Artigas 2003, p. 140.

33 And rather complicated history at that. For details, see De Santillana 1955, Shea, William R. & Mariano Artigas 2003, and Rowland 2003.

34 Letter: Galileo to Diodati (25 July 1634) reported in (De Santillana 1955) 35 Letter: Galileo to Peiresc (22 Feb and 16 March 1635) reported in (De Santillana 1955) 22

MICHAEL F. FLYNN

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models and Kepler’s model, with the Ursine
model f it the data better. It predicted all the
model being “ahead on points.” Galileo did
same phenomena as the Copernican, plus it
not mention them.

explained why there was no visible parallax or

Galileo’s book “proved popular amongst

Coriolis.

literati who were not astronomers [and] who
enjoyed his very obvious polemic writing

But by 1660, nearly 120 years after helio-
skills; but contrary to popular opinion it didn’t
centrism had been formally proposed, Ke-
play a significant role in the contemporary sci-
pler’s elliptical model had won the contest.37
entif ic discussion.” (Christie, Galileo’s great

Kepler’s Rudolphine Tables were just easier.

bluff 2010)

In the Platonic Renaissance, that carried
weight.

In 1651, Fr. Giovanni Battista Riccioli SJ

The astronomical community accepted the
published Almagestum novum, in which he
ellipses with nary a murmur and the Third
gave 49 arguments in favor of the Copernican

Law with positive glee. However, the Second
model and 77 arguments against, with rebut-

Law (the Equal Area law) was rejected as ugly
tals of each.36 This was the book Galileo was
and Kepler’s proof was def icient. Not until
supposed to write. Contrary to popular belief,

1672, did Nicolas Mercator develop a correct

Riccioli did not simply count the number of
mathematical derivation. (Christie, Galileo’s
arguments, since they were of unequal
great bluff 2010)

weight; nor did he decide on the Tychonic

Then, in 1687, Newton presented his theo-
model for religious reasons. Rather, he empha-
ry of Universal Gravitation. It’s hard for the
sizes again and again the need for sensible evi-

Late Modern to grasp what a stunning achieve-
dence as the deciding factor.

ment this was. Suddenly, everything made

Both sides present good arguments as
sense! There was one solution to all the plan-
point and counter-point. Religious argu-
ets, to all the motions! Finally, a simple, elegant ments play a minor role in the debate;
reason why Kepler’s model ought to be true.

careful, reproducible experiments a ma-
jor role. To Riccioli, the anti-Copernican

Just one problem; or rather two:

arguments carry the greater weight, on

• There was still no parallax.

the basis of a few key arguments against

• There was still no Coriolis effect.

which the Copernicans have no good

Dang! But we can’t let inconvenient facts
response. . . . Given the available scien-
get in the way of a really cool theory.

tific knowledge in 1651, a geo-heliocen-
tric hypothesis clearly had real strength,

Fat lady finally sings
but Riccioli presents it as merely the

By this time the telescopes were good

“least absurd” available model . . .

enough that the stars were clearly pinpoints.

(Graney, 126 Arguments Concerning

That meant they really could be much farther
the Motion of the Earth 2011.)

away without being gigantic new entities.

Everybody supposed the parallax was simply The “key arguments against which the
too small to detect.

Copernicans had no good response” were the

The lack of Coriolis was more troubling.

lack of parallax and Coriolis effects. Graney

Even though a rotating Earth had been more
states, “Today, a new theory which predicts
easily accepted than a revolving Earth, the mo-
observable effects that are not observed,
tion was still undetected. Newton had de-
while requiring the ad hoc creation of an un-
scribed an experiment—dropping a musket
precedented new type of object [gigantic
ball from a tower—and Hooke had carried it
stars], would have limited appeal, even were
out. But he reported finding no deflection.

it mathematically elegant.” The Tychonic

Then in 1728, James Bradley detected stel-

36 Summarized in capsule form in (Graney, 126 Arguments Concerning the Motion of the Earth 2011) 37 This is about par for the course for new scientific paradigms. Both relativity and quantum mechanics needed about a century to go from “wild hypothesis overthrowing the wisdom of the ages” to “standard model.”

THE GREAT PTOLEMAIC SMACKDOWN . . .

23

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lar aberration in ␥-Draconis (Phil. Trans. Royal
confirmation.40

Soc., 1729). The effect was small, variable,
and detectable only with special instruments,

Conclusion: Our ancestors were not
but counts as a proof of the motion of the
fools

Earth.38 Bradley’s paper was translated into

In three centuries, the long complex story

Italian after 1734, and Copernicanism was re-
of how the mobile Earth replaced the station-
moved from the Index in 1758, about as fast as
ary Earth dipped below the horizon from His-
the “Ents of Rome” ever move.

tory into Legend. Like all good legends, the

In 1806, Giuseppi Calandrelli, director of
story of heliocentrism and the culture-hero
the observatory at the Roman College pub-

Galileo is simple and general and geared to-
lished Osservazione e riflessione sulla par-
ward supporting the Rightness of the Modern
alasse annua dall’alfa della Lira, reporting worldview. But history is always detailed and
parallax in ␣-Lyrae. This provided a simple di-
particular.

rect observation of the revolution of the Earth.

The reasons for the stationary Earth were

In a series of experiments conducted be-
rooted in empirical experience and successful
tween 1789 and 1792, Giovanni Guglielmini,
modeling. The dual motion of the Earth is not
a professor of mathematics at the University of
sensibly evident and was difficult to establish

Bologna, dropped weights from the Torre dei
on empirical grounds. Heliocentrism tri-

Asinelli in Bologna and found an eastward de-
umphed first of all because Neoplatonic num-
flection. Concerned with windage, he repeat-
ber mysticism had become au courant during ed the experiment down the center of the
the Renaissance, and Platonists equated math-
spiral staircase at the Instituto della Scienze
ematical elegance with physical evidence.

and found a 4-mm Coriolis def lection over a

Resistance to heliocentrism was rooted in

29-m drop; thus providing direct empirical ev-
the science of the day and religion entered the
idence of the rotation of the Earth.39
picture mainly because the Church Fathers

Keplerian heliocentrism had been accepted
had interpreted Scripture in the light of that
because it was computationally easier and be-
science. They weren’t about to change until
cause it fell out mathematically from Newton’s
there was solid evidence that the science (and
theory like Athena from the brow of Zeus. But
hence the interpretation) was wrong; not in
now, f inally, 263 years after Copernicus, it
the middle of the Reformation they weren’t.

was finally established by empirical fact.

Thomas Huxley said after investigating the af-

Giuseppi Settele, astronomy professor at
fair that “the Church had the better case.” But
the Sapienza (now the University of Rome) in-

Pierre Duhem put it differently. The Coperni-
corporated these findings into the second vol-
cans were “right for the wrong reasons.” The
ume of his Elementa di Ottica e di

Ptolemaics were “wrong for the right rea-

Astronomia, and told his colleague, Benedetsons.”

to Olivieri (who was Commissary of the Holy

Science doesn’t follow a mythic positivist

Off ice) that this provided the demonstration
ideal but the plural scientific methods of Fey-requested by Bellarmino in 1616. Olivieri
erabend, a mixture of empiricism, f lights of
agreed, and convinced the Off ice and Pope
fancy, intuition, aesthetics, doggedness, and

Pius VII. The imprimatur was granted in 1820
jealousy. Scientif ic theories are underdeter-
and the ban on teaching heliocentrism as
mined. Any finite set of facts can support mul-
proven fact was lifted.

tiple theories. For a long time the available

That’s a long time to hold out for empirical
facts were equally explained by geostationary

38 For the same reason that the apparent origin of raindrops hitting your windshield seems to be ahead of you proves that your car is moving.

39 The experiments were replicated in 1804 by Johann Benzenburg down a mineshaft at Schlebusch. (Wallace 1996) pp. 394-396.

40 Credit for establishing the revolution and rotation of the Earth is usually granted respectively to Friedrich Bessel, who measured parallax in 61 Cygni in 1838, and to Léon Foucault, who built his pendulum in 1851.

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JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2013
or geomobile models.

7. Crombie, A. C. Medieval and Early Mod-

In the Legend, the conf lict was between
ern Science, vol. II. Garden City, NJ: Double-Science and Religion. But in the History, the
day Anchor, 1959.

conflict was between two groups of scientists,

8. De Santillana, Giorgio. The Crime of
with churchmen lined up on all sides. Coper-

Galileo. Chicago: University of Chicago Press, nicanism was supported by humanist literati

1955.

and opposed by Aristotelian physicists; so it

9. Graney, Christopher M. 126 Arguments
was a mixed bag all around.

Concerning the Motion of the Earth. Mar. 14, Science does not take place in a bubble. In-2011. http://arxiv.org/ftp/arxiv/papers/1103/
ternational and domestic politics and individ-

1103.2057.pdf (accessed Apr. 25, 2012).

ual personalities roil the pot as well. The

10. —. Tycho was a scientist, not a blun-
mystery is not why Galileo failed to triumph—
derer. Mar. 6, 2012. http://thonyc.wordpress.

he didn’t have good evidence, made enemies
com/2012/03/06/the-prof-says-tycho-was-a-
of his friends, and stepped into a political
scientist-not-a-blunderer-and-a-darn-good-
minef ield. The real mystery is why Kepler,
one-too/ (accessed April 4, 2012).

who actually had the correct solution, con-

11. Huff, Toby. Intellectual Curiosity and
stantly flew under the radar. A deviant Luther-
the Scientific Revolution. Cambridge: Cam-
an working in a Catholic monarchy, he
bridge University Press, 2011.

pushed Copernicanism as strongly as Galileo;

12. Lindberg, David C. (ed). Science in the
but no one hassled him over it. Too bad he

Middle Ages. Chicago: University of Chicago couldn’t write his way out of a paper bag.

Press, 1978.

13. Oltion, Jerry. “What Science Means to

Bibliography

Me.” Analog Science Fiction/Science Fact,

1. Aristotle. On the Heavens. http://classics.

Jan/Feb 2012: 78-81.

mit.edu/Aristotle/heavens.1.i.html (accessed 14. Oresme, Nicholas. On the Book of the

April 4, 2012).

Heavens and the World by Aristotle. Feb. 1999.

2. Bellarmine, Robert. Letter on Galileo’s
http://www.clas.ufl.edu/users/ufhatch/ HIS-

Theories, 1615. Jan. 1999. http://www.ford-SCI-STUDY-GUIDE/0040_nicoleOresme. html
ham. edu/halsall/mod/1615bellarmine-let-

(accessed April 4, 2012).

ter.asp (accessed April 4, 2012).

15. Ptolemy, Claudius. Syntaxis Mathe-

3. Christie, Thony. But it doesn’t move!

matiké. In The Great Books Series. Chicago: June 22, 2011. http://thonyc.wordpress.com/

Encyclopedia Britannica/Univ. of Chicago,

2011/06/22/but-it-doesn%E2%80%99t-

1952.

move/ (accessed April 4, 2012).

16. Rowland, Wade. Galileo’s Mistake. New

4. —. Extracting the Stopper. June 2, 2010.

York: Arcade Publishing, 2003.

http://thonyc.wordpress.com/2010/06/02/ex

17. Shea, William R. & Mariano Artigas.

tracting-the-stopper/ (accessed April 4, 2012).

Galileo in Rome. Oxford: Oxford University 5. —. Galileo’s great bluff. Nov. 12, 2010.

Press, 2003.

http://thonyc.wordpress.com/2010/11/12/g

18. Vansina, Jan. Oral Tradition as History.

alileo%E2%80%99s-great-bluff-and-part-of-

Madison: University of Wisconsin Press, 1985.

the-reason-why-kuhn-is-wrong/ (accessed

19. Wallace, William A. The Modeling of

April 4, 2012).

Nature. Washington, DC: Catholic University 6. Copernicus, Nicholas; Charles Wallis
of America Press, 1996.

(trans). “On the Revolutions of the Heavenly

Spheres.” In The Great Books Series. Chicago: Encyclopedia Britannica/Univ. of Chicago,

1952.

THE GREAT PTOLEMAIC SMACKDOWN . . .

25

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Illustrated by Vincent DiFate

The

Exchange

Officers

Brad R. Torgersen

Does technology change the nature—
and meaning—of sacrifice?

26

BRAD R. TORGERSEN

WorldMags.net

JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2013

WorldMags.net
he solar panels crumpled.

her words as she spoke them.

I didn’t hear them, but I felt them

“Well, then you’d better make it fast,” I
through the stimulus-feedback system.

replied. “Because these guys are for real, and

TMy proxy’s hands and feet still unless the Air Force and Navywant to lose gripped the spars of the extended boom to
several hundred million dollars worth in
which the panels had once been attached.

equipment to a hostile Chinese takeover,

Now those panels were splintered and f loat-
you and I are all that’s left to stand in their
ing away in bits—dangerous debris in an or-
way.”

bital zone already too clouded with fast-mov-

“Sounds like the perfect odds,” she said.

ing hazards. Not that I cared much at the

“Just the two of us. Not a lot different from
moment. Half the team was red-lining to-
when we started, eh?”

wards black, and I had no telemetry from
the other half at all, even though they were

Mission Control looked more like a penny
literally within shouting distance.

arcade than a command center. No long

As long as I was still Operating, I knew
desks populated with keyboards and com-
only what my proxy knew, saw only what
puter displays. No super-sized jumbo
my proxy saw, and felt only what my proxy
screens on the walls. No bespectacled engi-
felt.

neers with headsets perched on balding

At present, my proxy’s camera eyes fo-
scalps. There were only control booths ar-
cused on the Chinese combat capsule which
rayed uniformly in neat bunches. And in
had collided with Gr issom Platfor m. A
each booth sat or stood an Operator, male or
stealth job. We hadn’t seen them coming.

female. Most of them were United States

One of the capsule’s bay hatches snapped

Navy or United States Air Force personnel—
open—shards of ruined solar panel f linging
the facility being a joint USN-USAF opera-
away—and several vacuum-suited f igures ap-
tion. As the United States Army’s latest ex-
peared at the threshold. They wore modi-
change of f icer to the Orbital Defense
f ied copies of the latest Russian suits, only

Initiative Station, I stuck out like a sore
beefed up with sections of hard plate, not
thumb. Both because of my rank, and be-
too different from the SAPI stuff I’d trained
cause of my uniform.

in and worn during my younger days on the

“This way, sir,” said the tech sergeant who
ground.

was playing tour guide on this, my f irst duty

Of course, back then I’d also carried a ri-
day at ODIS. She took me between the
f le.

booths—my eyes catching glimpses of hood-

No such luck f ive hundred miles from the
ed people in olive-drab long underwear,
surface of the Earth.

each of them contorting this way and that,

I spoke several obscenities.

and their hands, arms, legs, and feet sprout-

If all of us had still been Operating, we’d
ing with innumerable wires—until we ar-
have been able to overwhelm the enemy in
rived at a booth labeled with the number 23.

moments. Each proxy moved faster than a

It was dark, and the tech sergeant reached in
man, and possessed many times the
to snap on a small overhead light.

strength. But I seemed to be the only one

“Home sweet home?” I said, peering in.

who’d not been af fected b y the EMP

“Yessir,” she said. “You’ll be in one just
weapon—which had fried so much else in
like it during simulator training, but once
the last f ive minutes.

that’s over with, we’ll be putting you here

“Hang on, Chopper,” said a familiar voice
for the other nine months that we have
in my ears.

you.”

“Chesty,” I said, exhaling with relief. She’d

Simulator training. I frowned. I’d cut my
been several kilometers distant, testing new
teeth f lying ground attack and surveillance
equipment. The EMP had spared her too.

aircraft in over a dozen countries on four

“How many Marines does it take to f ight
continents. Though, to be honest, I’d never
off a Communist horde?”

set foot in an actual plane. The inside of one

“Just one, and I’m it,” she said. I detected

ROV control trailer looked like any other.

a grin on her face, based just on the sound of

What more could there be to learn? I gave

THE EXCHANGE OFFICERS

27

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ANALOG

WorldMags.net
myself a week to f igure out the particular
tain or Major decided to get up in my busi-
hardware and software that ODIS used. The
ness, I was going to be as informal as I want-
rest of train-up time would be a snoozer—
ed—one of the perks of the position, or so it
something to bore me while I waited for an
had been said when I’d come out of Fort
actual mission.

Rucker, Alabama, right before Basic Course.

A second tech sergeant arrived with a dif-

The two tech sergeants watched us as
ferently camouf laged person in tow. This

Stoddard and I watched each other, then one
one’s pixilated duty unifor m instantly
of them cleared his throat and said, “if you’ll
marked her as a United States Marine. She
keep following us, we’ll show you to the
had streaks of silver in her hair and lines on
simulator room.”

her face, and like me, bore the bar of a War-

“After you,” I said, motioning with my arm
rant Off icer.

and putting a smile on my face.

I instinctively stuck out my hand.

Stoddard simply turned and walked away,

“Dan Jaraczuk,” I said as she grasped my
the tech sergeants taking us rapidly out of
palm, and gave me a satisfying shake.

Mission Control, through a series of hallways

“Mavy Stoddard,” she replied. Her eyes
past off ice doors and junctions that were
were large, brown, and intelligent, with just
f illed with milling Air Force and Navy per-
a hint of hardness to them. I guesstimated
sonnel, until we passed through a set of dou-
her to be about ten years older than me,
ble doors into a room that looked not too
though she was one notch lower on the War-
different from the one we’d just left. Only,
rant Off icer totem pole. Which wasn’t too
each of the booths was double-sized. Room
unusual. Many Warrants spend years climb-
for two Operators.

ing the enlisted ladder, before f inally putting

“Right seat, left seat,” I said, surveying the
in their packets for Candidate School. I’d
equipment.

jumped as soon as I was able, right from Spe-

“More or less,” said a woman’s voice. Stod-
cialist, because it had been one of the quick-
dard and I turned to see a f light-suited Air
est routes I knew that might take me here, to

Force colonel approach us. The colonel’s
this place—a small fortress of cutting-edge
hair was dark red and buzzed down past the
space technology located at Hill Air Force
usual female standards. Her face was plain,

Base, in the desert valley wilderness of
but her eyes were bright and she carried her-

Northern Utah.

self with conf idence. She had a clipboard

My tech sergeant nodded to her peer, then
under one arm and read our name tapes on
turned back to me.

our uniforms as she stopped in front of us.

“Warrant Off icer Stoddard is going to be

“Stoddard, r ight. And. . . Jad zook?

joining you for your training cycle. She’ll be

Jare zuck? How the heck do I pronounce
in 24 when she’s done. We don’t get a lot of
that?”

Army or Marines at ODIS, nor Warrant Off i-

“Jare-uh-chuck,” I said slowly.

cers of any sort, so you’ll have to forgive us

“Okay,” said the colonel. “Well, however
if we’re not up to speed on the courtesies.”

you say it, for the duration of your time at

“Most people just call me Chief,” I said.

ODIS I’m going to be calling you Chopper.

“That will confuse some of the Navy and

That’s your Operator Sign when you’re in

Air Force folk,” Stoddard said, correcting
training and on missions. Stoddard? You’ll be
me. “I think we’ll both be doing them all fa-

Chesty. ”

vor if we just stick with sir and ma’am. ”

Stoddard raised an eyebrow.

I nodded, not wanting to contest the is-

“As in, ‘Chesty Puller’,” the colonel added.

sue. “Fine by me.”

Stoddard blinked, then smiled her under-

Stoddard tilted her head slightly—sizing
standing.

me up. I got the sense she didn’t necessarily

“My name’s Fern McConnell,” said the
appreciate my informal manner. But then
colonel, “but around here everyone knows
again, she didn’t have to. I’d paid my dues,
me as Valkyrie. As your CO during your ex-
and logged my hours. Whatever the Marine
change off icer stints, you will report direct-
standard might have been, this wasn’t Jack-
ly to me. I know your in-processing people
sonville nor Quantico. And until some Cap-
already went over rules and regs and stand-

28

BRAD R. TORGERSEN

WorldMags.net

JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2013

WorldMags.net
ing orders for the installation, so what we
fore their f irst successful robotic landing.

need to get clear here today is what I’ll be

With the Russians doing most of the heavy
expecting from you, and what you can be
lifting to the aging International Space Sta-
expecting from me.”

tion, it was left to America’s military estab-

“Yes ma’am,” Stoddard and I both chimed
lishment to decide if free men would walk
in unison.

on the Moon, or take a back seat to the

“The Orbital Defense Initiative Station is
world’s newest assumed superpower.

an experiment,” McConnell said. “When

“Unlike the last time America went to the

Congress and the Senate jointly agreed to

Moon,” the colonel continued, “this time
dismantle NASA, much of the prior funding
we’re doing it in steps. Not one-shots. And
and all of the facilities were consigned to the
because the entire thing is rolled up under

Department of the Navy. Since the Air Force
the signif icant umbrella of the Department
already had a strong space interest, the Sec-
of Defense, there’s not been as much sensi-
retaries of the Air Force and the Navy put to-
tivity to cutbacks as dur ing the Apollo
gether a unif ied program designed to pro-
years—though certain politicians, and a cer-
tect United States interests in orbit, and
tain President in particular, have done their
beyond. But the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs
worst.”

wouldn’t sign off on it—nor could he dig up

Again, I found myself nodding.

additional funding—unless our cousins the

“Don’t wake the Chinese dragon,” one no-

Army and Marine Corps could tag along for
table political blogger had shouted when
the ride, too. This means what while you
news about the creation of ODIS had gone
both are here as a favor from us to your re-public.

spective services, I expect no less from you

Thankfully for my sake, such alarmism had
than I expect from any of my other Opera-
been ignored.

tors. I am tough, but I am fair, and if either of

We were def initely going back.

you have a problem with anything or any-

But not before there was enough infra-
one, I expect you to come to me with it
structure in orbit—Earth’s, as well as the
f irst. Copy?”

Moon’s—to ensure that we were going for

“Roger that,” I said.

keeps.

“Yes ma’am,” Stoddard replied more for-

Which is where ODIS came in.

mally.

“We don’t f ly the usual ROV here,” the

The colonel looked at us both, then took a
colonel said, her eyes piercing as she looked
deep breath, and continued.

at us. “The stuff we run is actually two or

“My full resume is posted on the ODIS in-
three generations past anything either of you
tranet, but just so you know, I did two com-
have ever f lown or driven in your careers.

bat tours—one in the Middle East and one in

This is not joystick work. The ODIS environ-

Africa—as well as three trips to the Interna-
ment is immersive, because the machinery
tional Space Station.

you’ll be piloting is billion-dollar stuff, and

“It’s because I’ve got the space rating and
designed to work in one of the most hostile
the f light hours that they assigned me to
environments possible. The training is also
head up ODIS. My Operators never climb
immersive—’train as you f ight,’ I think the
into a cockpit nor a space suit, but you’re

Army always says? Well, here at ODIS we
every bit as vital to ongoing United States
train as we Operate, and you’ll have plenty of space readiness as any astronaut ever was.

time to work the kinks out and make all the

The public doesn’t give a damn because peo-
usual beginners’ blunders before we let you
ple long ago decided space was boring and
at the real thing.”

run-of-the-mill. But since the Chinese put

I momentarily looked up at the white-tiled
their f irst probe on the Moon, the politicians
ceiling, imagining that I could peer through
in Washington D.C. have been nervous about
the roof and up through the sky, to where
us losing our edge in a new space race.”

ODIS Operators were busily putting togeth-

I nodded, knowingly.

er the several orbital docking and receiving

The People’s Republic of China had been
platforms that would be taking on material
announcing plans for a lunar base, even be-
and manpower bound for the Moon.

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ANALOG

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Cybernauts, one Army Times headline
for an instant, her experimental maneuver-
had quipped, when the basics of the ODIS
ing pack’s micro-jets blasting tiny trails in the
mission were made publicly known.

emptiness of space. She shot past me and

I’d taken one look at the program—con-
thunked into the side of the enemy space-
cluded it was by far the coolest thing I’d ever
craft. I watched Chesty hang there on the
seen—and immediately determined that,
capsule’s side for a moment, her contorted
one way or another, I was going to be a part
body depressed into the ablative shielding.

of it.

Had she overshot the mark and terminated
herself ?

Each of the Chinese suits had the familiar

With relief, I saw her begin to move—ser-
hammer, sickle, and stars of the People’s Re-
vo-assisted joints f lexing as she picked her-
public of China emblazoned across a breast.

self up out of the depression and turned

The troops slipped out of their capsule—a
around.

solid dozen of them!—and began tethering

The Chinese had seen her too, and were
themselves to Grissom Platform. They didn’t
not amused.

have guns that I could see, though if there

Half their squad began reeling themselves
was a gun that functioned in vacuum and mi-
back towards the capsule.

crogravity, I wasn’t convinced I’d be able to

I waited like a spider, just aching for a
recognize it in any case. I guessed that the
chance to strike, then shot up from where

Chinese had banked on their electromagnet-

I’d been laying prone on the solar panel
ic pulse weapon to do their dirty work for
boom.

them, and because my proxy was—for all in-

Two of the six got my titanium f ists in
tents and purposes—still motionless on the
their face bowls.

solar panel boom, they probably assumed

The crunch on my knuckles was ever so
my circuits had been turned to toast along
satisfying.

with all the rest.

They f lailed and ref lexively pulled their

Somewhere out there, though I couldn’t
hands up to their faces. I couldn’t tell if I’d
detect or see her yet, Chesty was coming in
actually cracked the bowls badly enough to
hot. I held myself still and waited, watching
vent atmosphere—unlikely, given the fact
the Chinese move closer to me and then,
each bowl was supposed to be meteorite-
white-knuckled moments later, over me, ad-
proof—but I’d def initely given them some-
vancing towards Grissom Platform’s central
thing to think about.

modules. Those modules were uninhabited

Chesty was prepared for the remaining
at the moment—no astronauts on staff for a
four. She’d crouched directly in front of the
thing only half built—but they could be
mouth to the capsule’s hatch, like a
made to power up and provide life support
wrestler—her mechanized head swiveling
in a pinch. The Chinese moved with such ra-
this way and that as she sized up her four on-
pidity and purpose, I began to wonder how
rushing opponents.

much information about the platform’s engi-

“I’ve got these,” Chesty said. “You better
neering had been leaked or smuggled to the
check on the others, before they do some-

PRC prior to this, their most brazen attack
thing both of us will regret.”

on the United States to date.

“Roger that,” I said, and spun to face the

Did they worry that anyone back on Earth
remaining Chinese.

might notice? Or care? Or were they so con-

Rather than come for me, however, they’d
vinced that the EMP had eliminated all elec-
redoubled their efforts to break into Grissom
tronic eyes and ears that they were willing

Platform’s central modules. Two of them had
to just walk in and take the platform—dar-
unfurled computer pads with ribbon cables,
ing someone on the ground to say or do any-
each cable snaked out and plugged into the
thing about it?

now-exposed electronics near a main air-

There was a whoop—no, not quite, more
lock. I began advancing on them—pulling
like a cry; a war cry.

myself hand-over-hand and foot-over-foot

“OOOOORAHHHHH!”

like a chimpanzee—when the world sudden-

Chesty—or rather, her proxy—appeared
ly turned to grainy static. I yelled in frustra-

30

BRAD R. TORGERSEN

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JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2013

WorldMags.net
tion, feeling all my senses go dead. Had the

“Lift your right legs please,” said the mas-

Chinese set off a second EMP? And what
ter sergeant. “Keep your knees about waist
about Chesty? If my proxy was kaput, that
level and balance for thirty seconds.”

left her and her alone to combat the ene-

I did as instructed, and so did Chesty. I
my—twelve to one. And even a Marine has
was amazed to see my proxy emulate me ex-
her limits.

actly, even down to the minor shimmying I
was doing as I tried to keep from dropping

With the Operator suit on, I looked like a
my leg or toppling over. For an insane instant
lab rabbit.

I wanted to call out PT cadence— One thou-

Hundreds of thin wires and cables snaked
sand, one! One thousand, two! One thou-
away from the one-piece body suit that
sand, three! —and decided against it. The Air hugged me uncomfortably in all the wrong

Force NCOs might not grasp the humor of
places. Chesty was in the same predicament,
the moment, and I certainly didn’t need to
though I had to admit the suit was much
magnify the reputation I’d already earned as
more f lattering on her than it was on me.

something of a goof.

We were each standing on a yellow line with

If I’d been somewhat cocky about my ROV
two yellow-painted footprints in front of it—
experience coming into ODIS, that cocki-
to note our starting positions. Three meters
ness had gradually crumbled as the magni-
in front of us, also poised on yellow-painted
tude of what I’d be doing became clear.

footprints, were our proxies.

ODIS wasn’t about sitting in a trailer and

Robots, really. Man-sized and fully articu-
guiding a mini-helicopter, armed with cam-
lated in ways not even the real thing had
eras and third-generation Hellf ires slung un-
ever been. I experimentally snapped my
der its stubby wings—prowling for insur-
right f ingers a few times, and watched as my
gents. ODIS was as close as I’d ever get to
proxy’s hand made the same motions, and
actually becoming what I drove. Or Operat-
even achieved a similar effect, though its
ed, according to the correct term, which
plastic, ceramic and metallic f lesh clanked

Valkyrie was insistent that we use.

and dinked more than it snapped.

She watched us now, sitting back a bit

“Please don’t do that,” said an Air Force
from the NCOs who worked and tapped at
master sergeant who’d been supervising
keys on their portable laptops, their own

Chesty and me during our f irst day in the
sets of wires and cables trailing this way and
suits. We’d already logged two weeks going
that across the f loor. Mobile servers on
over mechanics and theor y, hitting the
wheels had been rolled in to handle the soft-
books and soaking our brains in math, dia-
ware aspect—human nerve impulse being
grams, and history lessons on the develop-
wickedly diff icult to accurately transform
ment of these, the United States’ most so-
into data the proxy’s motors and servos
phisticated remotely-operated vehicles in
could recognize. Fans in those ser ver s
existence. Even a single arm from one of the
hummed gently, and despite the superb air
proxies was worth more than my retired
conditioning of the simulator, I felt myself
mother’s f ive-bedroom McMansion in the
begin to sweat.

Bay Area.

“Okay,” said the master sergeant. “Left

I rightfully quit my fooling around and
legs down, and right legs up.”

waited for further instructions from the mas-

Chesty and I did as instructed, and our
ter sergeant—just one of many technically-
proxies mirrored us exactly.

savvy non-commissioned of fer s who

“Won’t the distance cause enough signal
prowled on the sidelines. The closed hangar
lag to give us issues?” I asked the master
in which we all stood was part of the ODIS
sergeant, who’d so far proven to be fantasti-
simulator—a place where new proxy Opera-
cally knowledgeable about his subject of as-
tors could get a feel for their machines, and
signment. I’d have tried talking him into go-
the body suits could be “tuned” to their
ing Warrant if the Air Force had had the
wearers. No human being’s electromagnetic
good sense to keep its Warrants, instead of
or physiological signature being quite the
retiring them out of the service so that every
same as any other’s.

pilot could claim to be a college graduate.

THE EXCHANGE OFFICERS

31

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“Some,” said the master sergeant. “But the
loudly.

proxy is only a few hundred miles up, at

I looked over at her and ruefully pushed
most. Not even the blink of an eye for round-
myself to my knees.

trip transmissions. And we won’t be operat-

All enlisted eyes darted to my proxy as it
ing these on the Moon from this building.

began to f lop and f lail like a f ish on dry land.

Sooner or later some of you are going to

“Oh, crap,” I said. “Did I—?”

have to go up.”

“No sir,” said the master sergeant. “It’s

Go up . . . I let myself thrill for the moment f ine. Hang on a sec . . .”

at the prospect of being assigned to honest-

He began hammering keys almost too
to-gosh-damned astronaut training. Would I
quickly for the eye to see, and the spasming
even pass the harder parts of the physical?

proxy relaxed and lay f lat.

Would it matter? Now that the Navy and Air

Valkyrie stood up and approached, with

Force were calling the shots, a lot remained
her habitually attached clipboard under one
uncertain. But at least you didn’t need a doc-
arm.

torate in the sciences to get to orbit any-

“It’ll be like that for awhile,” she said. “It’s
more, as had been the case when NASA’s as-
going to be days before each of you have fed
tronaut feeder program had been clogged to
enough data into the system for the proxies
the rafters with PhDs.

to read your movements correctly in all cir-

“Right leg down, ” said the master
cumstances. It’s a bit like voice recognition
sergeant.

software, if you’ve ever used that. The basic

Chesty and I did it. Our proxies did it too.

setup is pre-packaged for a certain set of

“Now jog in place, ” said the master
sounds matched to a certain set of words,
sergeant.

but until the software learns you, it’s going Chesty and I began to lightly pad up and
to mess up as often as not. Same here, with
down on the balls of our feet, not daring to
the proxies.”

get any more vigorous about it because our

“Still,” Chesty said, “this is f lat-out remark-
proxies were doing precisely as we did, and
able. I’ve never seen anything like it. Truly
neither of us was sure how much terrestrial
space-age.”

stress they’d been designed to take—despite

“Yes, it is,” said the colonel. “And unlike
what the factory specs said.

an astronaut who has to be supplied with

“Good,” said the master sergeant. “Leap
food and air and water, a proxy can remain
forward a few times.”

in orbit for months or years without needing

Chesty and I looked at each other, but
to do much more than take naps while tied
didn’t move.

to the nearest solar collector or fuel cell. The

“It’s cool,” said the master sergeant, smil-
batteries in those proxies are space-age too.

ing. “They’re expensive as hell, but then

In the end, it’s much cheaper and more ef-
again they ought to be. They’ll withstand
fective to Operate in space, and I say that

7.62 automatic f ire, and come back for sec-
with no small regret, because once you’ve
onds. You could drop one from three thou-
been up there—” I noticed Valkyrie’s eyes
sand feet, and all you’d do is scratch the
had started to sparkle a bit, “—you won’t
paint job.”

ever be the same person again.”

Emboldened by the master sergeant’s
words, Chesty and I began to leap forward.

I was blind and nearly deaf. The light-

Rather comically, I am afraid to admit,
weight audiovisual hood was feeding me sta-
stretching our bodies out and curling back,
tic. My heart told me there was nothing
covering several feet in each bound.

much to be done. If the Chinese had set off

The proxies mirrored us beautifully.

another EMP—lethal, I thought, at that

Too beautifully for my taste, as I landed
range; for them as much as us—then both
awkwardly on the third jump and fell on my

Chesty and I were cold turkey. And we’d just
ass.

have to wait and wonder what the Chinese

My proxy emulated me, thunking loudly
did with Grissom Platform.

onto the rubberized f loor.

Suddenly my visual picture blinked, went

Chesty couldn’t help herself. She laughed
black, then blinked again.

32

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“Hang on,” I said. I could vaguely hear the

The “pins” burst apart.

rapid speech of the Air Force and Navy peo-

I had the neutralizer in my hand, and—
ple who’d clustered around Chesty and me
lacking anything of suff icient toughness—
as we Operated from our booths. They’d al-
slammed it across one knee. The sensors
ready assumed the worst, and rightly so.

complained and I winced as the feedback hit

With the other Operators out of the picture,
me, but the neutralizer was in pieces, which
it seemed unlikely that Chesty or I could do

I hurled away from me as I regrouped with
much to change the present verdict.

my Marine battle buddy.

Color swam back into my “eyes” and very

“Still too many,” Chesty said, breathing
quickly I realized I was staring up at a Chi-
heavily. Though the proxies were doing all
nese troop who’d bent over me. He was tug-
the work, the f ight was as visceral as any-
ging at my torso with a tool of some sort. I
thing either of us had experienced on Earth.

could feel it, as if someone was trying to pry

We’d been japing around in our booths—
between my ribs with a pair of needle-nose

Operator-style—since the moment the at-
pliers. I jerked and kicked—in the booth as
tack began. And even being in good condi-
well as via proxy—and the Chinese space
tion didn’t prevent a man— or a
soldier spun away from me, his tool lost to
woman—from getting winded at that frenet-
vacuum and only his tether keeping him
ic pace.

from being similarly orphaned in orbit.

“I’d pay good money for a vacuum-tested

Chesty grunted and growled.

.50-calibre machine gun right now,” I said,

I re-orientated myself so that I could see
watching to either side as the Chinese
what was happening down by the combat
troops pulled themselves back towards us
capsule. No less than six of the Chinese had
on their tethers. What little of their faces I
piled on top of Chesty’s proxy, which strug-
could see appeared rather displeased. And I
gled mightily to break free. One of the ene-
was suddenly very grateful to not be facing
my had a hand-held device of some sort and
them in person.

was trying to keep it applied to Chesty’s up-

Their tethers waggled as they drew near.

per torso.

Wait.

“I’m losing it!” I heard her say in panic, as

Tethers. . .?

much through the Operating room as

“We’ll never beat them like this,” I said.

through the speakers in my ears. “Signal’s

“We have to give them a new problem to
breaking up!”

solve.”

The situation quickly became clear.

Before Chesty could ask what I meant, I

Not only were the Chinese trying to take
pulled myself over to one of the enemy teth-

Grissom Platform intact, they were trying to
ers which was bound to the solar panel
take the proxies too. Which explained why
boom. Flexing my forearm, I deployed my
they’d not so much as laid a pipe wrench on
proxy’s cutting tool and bent low, applying
us during the melee. Probably they were un-
it to the tether’s base. Steel cable resisted,
der strict orders not to damage anything
and then snapped as my cutting tool bit
they came across, even if we fought back.

through the tightly-wound metal.

They were trying to neutralize us instead.

I grabbed the free end of the broken teth-

Not thinking, I began my hand-over-foot-
er and yanked yard, then cast it away. The at-
over-hand race back down the solar panel
tached troop f lailed and groped at nothing
boom. Something latched hold of me from
as he shot up and over me. I ducked. Were
above, like a sack of cement stuck to me
they smart enough to have conf igured their
with duct tape. I ignored it and kept moving,
armored suits with miniature reaction con-
intent on distracting the soldier who had the
trol thrusters? I hadn’t seen a lot of extra
neutralizer in his hand and was trying to use
hardware on them when the y’d f ir st
it to knock Chesty out of the f ight.

emerged.

A f inal pull, then a hard push with motor-

Chesty hooted her approval and set to
ized legs.

work on another tether.

I curled.

Suddenly, Grissom Platform lurched.

My proxy hit them like a bowling ball.

Cones of mist sprayed from the much-larg-

THE EXCHANGE OFFICERS

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ANALOG

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er RCS system installed at mathematically de-

“Right,” I said, smiling slightly at her, be-
termined points along Grissom Platform’s ar-
fore taking a slow sip of my root beer and
chitecture. The two Chinese who’d managed
putting the glass mug back on its foam coast-
to get inside had obviously done their work
er. ODIS rules were: no alcohol under any
quickly. They had control of the Platform’s
circumstances, any time. It somehow
systems now, which was very bad news in-
messed with the tuning of the proxy control
deed.

suits. A nervous system thing?

“Someone has to get inside and stop

A f latscreen TV behind and above the bar
them!” Chesty yelled.

was playing the evening news. An earnest-

Indeed.

looking reporter in a crisp suit was carrying

“Do what you can,” said a third voice. It
on about something, though the sound had
was Valkyrie.

been turned down so we couldn’t hear

She’d plugged into the Operator frequen-
about what. When an image of a Chinese or-
cy with a normal headset.

bital booster was layered in behind the news

“Can you give us a SITREP, boss?” I asked.

anchor’s head, with the words, “PRC RE-

“All the other Operators are blacked out

SOLVES TO MATCH AMERICA IN ORBIT,”

right now. The EMP did its work well. There
blown up under the anchor’s chin, I pointed
is no help available at this point. It would be
at the set and asked the man behind the bar
hours before we could attempt to bring oth-
to turn it up.

er proxies—being Operated on other Plat-

The anchor’s voice suddenly cut in, mid-
forms. And by then it will be too late.”

sentence, “. . . for the last four years, and Bei-

“Aren’t the Chinese worried about how
jing has promised that if the United States
this will affect the diplomatic situation?” I
does not cease its military activities in low
said.

Earth orbit, the People’s Republic of China

“Obviously not,” Valkyrie replied. “I think
will be forced to declare the United States in
it’s a test—to see how ready we are to resist
violation of treaty.”

them in an open contest for orbital space.

The news anchor vanished, to be replaced

And since the European Union is sitting it
by a slim, f it looking Chinese man in a blue
out as a ‘neutral’ party, we’re left to defend
business suit—Mao suits being something
our turf the old fashioned way.”

you didn’t see much of in the new era of
streamlined, bourgeois Chinese internation-

Chesty and I sat at the bar of the little
al relations.

wings’n’brew joint we’d found not far out-

“We consider the actions of the United
side the west gate of Hill Air Force Base. Be-

States Department of Defense to be inexcus-
ing none too familiar with the local
able,” said the Chinese man, “and we would
denizens, we kept to ourselves—though it
remind the United States President that the
seemed obvious the staff were plenty used
territories of Earth orbit, as well as the
to military folk coming in for a drink and a

Moon, belong to all people. Not just Amerimeal. The man behind the bar was a friendly
ca’s capitalist exploiters.”

chap. Retired, I guessed, based mainly on his

I snorted.

crisp high-and-tight haircut and the tattoo on

“You think they’re bluff ing?” Chesty said.

his muscular arm—a half-naked woman that

I shook my head. “Hard to say. After the
peaked out from under his rolled-up sleeve

Party put down those big pro-democracy ri-
as he moved around and served customers.

ots in the Chinese interior cities a couple of

“And here I thought you were going to be
years ago, the Beijing government has been
a joker,” Chesty said, twirling the ice in her
working double-time to plaster on a nice
glass with a thin straw.

face at the United Nations. Given the fact

“Don’t judge a book by its cover,” I said.

that so many countries are up to their necks

“Eight weeks ago you didn’t know me. But
in debt to Chinese interests, nobody’s going
now? Now, you don’t have that excuse.”

to mess with China. But maybe it’s all part of

“True,” she said. “But I get the feeling I’m
a scheme to provoke the US? Make us look
not the only one who’s had to correct him-
like the warmongering bad guys half the
self on his assumptions.”

world seems ready and willing to believe we

34

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are.”

“Yes,” she said hesitantly, looking directly I said the last with a bitter frown, and took
into my eyes. “Don’t get me wrong. I know I
a long draft of root beer.

beat long odds to be here, just like you. And

“And you’re sure they aren’t right?” she

I am glad I did this. But it won’t be the
said.

same—not being able to f loat outside the

I nearly choked.

spacecraft and see my own real-live hand

“What kind of talk is that for a Marine?”

against the backdrop of the earth as it passes

“I’m just thinking that as much as we like
beneath my feet. Like Ed White. Do you
to think we’re always the good guys, events
know who Ed White is?”

of the last few decades have occasionally

“No,” I said.

cast that into doubt. I’m not stupid. I know a

“Look him up on the internet tonight,”

bit about history and I know more than a bit
she said. “When I was a little girl, I used to
about our overcommitments in the Middle
love the color photos of Ed White.”

Eastern and African theaters. If it were up to
me I’d bring every last one of us home and

“They’ve sealed the air lock,” I said.

let the world fend for itself for f ifty years.

“Use your proxy’s key card,” Valkyrie or-

But then I’m not the President, so I don’t get
dered.

to make that call. She does.”

“I did. It’s no good. However they’ve hot-

I pushed my drink aside and faced Chesty
wired it, I can’t get in.”

squarely.

Grissom Platform was still thrusting with

“Well, surprise, surprise. I wouldn’t have
its RCS. The Earth was swinging away and to
f igured you for a political thinker. Then
the right. I heard Chesty cursing as she strug-
a gain, we haven’t had a chance to talk
gled with the Chinese who’d resumed their
much—about real stuff. Only about work.”

attempts to subdue her. Unable to get in and

“No we haven’t,” she said, waiting for me
stop the ones who’d gone inside and activat-
to continue.

ed the Platform’s attitude controls, I debated

“So riddle me this, Marine, if the answer
between helping Chesty, and f iguring out
to America’s bad image abroad is to close the
some other way to stop the Chinese.

bases and bring the troops home, what are

“Now I’m wishing we had an auto-de-
we doing constructing military space sta-
struct sequence,” I mused sarcastically.

tions for the purpose of putting military per-

“You think this is a TV show?” Valkyrie
sonnel in orbit? And if you really feel the way
said. “No can do, Chopper. No reactor over-
you say you feel, what are you doing tied up
load. No explosives lining the hull. That’s
in a project like this? ODIS being the thing
movie theater stuff. And if you can’t stop the
on everyone’s minds lately, as the Platforms

Chinese, then it’s basically game over. I’ll
approach completion and the Chinese eat
have to report to my bosses at the Pentagon
up the inter national news cycles with
that ODIS let the Chinese commit orbital
threats and rhetoric.”

theft of US military property.”

She looked down at her drink—the ice tin-

I stared—via proxy eyes—at the space
kling in her glass—and sighed.

around me. The layout of the station. The

“I always wanted to be an astronaut,” she
unf inished spars and beams poking out at
said. “But life got in the way. Twenty years
different angles. Then my eyes hit something
went by in a f lash, along with two kids, a

I’d not considered before. And as I watched
mean divorce, and too many deployments. I
the limb of the Earth drop away and disap-
was in Kuwait when I read about ODIS in an
pear, I suddenly realized what I had to do.

e-mail from a friend, and I decided it was the
closest I might ever get to fulf illing my

After training was over, it took Chesty and
dream—even if I wasn’t exactly thrilled with
me a few sorties to really get the hang of
the political cloud that surrounded the pro-
things. Even with the many, many hours
gram.”

logged in simulation, the real thing took just

“The f irst sortie is coming up,” I said. “Are
that much more adjustment, before we be-
you sad like me that we won’t be going up
gan to feel prof icient. After that, it was very
on a rocket ourselves?”

much a lunch bucket job.

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ANALOG

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“They used to make people with doctor-
when it’s necessary. Usually we run it from
ates do this,” I said to no one in particular as
ground, but the Centurion has a manual

Chesty and I—our proxies—maneuvered a
backup system—just in case.”

collapsible strut out of the yawning cargo

“Just in case,” I said, thinking how fun it
bay of a Centurion rocket’s third stage. Our
would be to get behind the “wheel” of a
feet were identical to our hands, and we
rocket ship in orbit.

“walked” our way up and down the slowly-
growing superstructure of Ride Platform.

The Chinese had all but ignored the Cen-

“Did they get paid any better?” said one of
turion.

the team, a Navy Chief Petty Off icer desig-

Its clamshell bay doors hung open, invit-
nated as Skips.

ing.

“I dunno,” I said. “But it just seems hilari-

“Chesty,” I said. “One of us has to get to
ous to me. This is hard-hat stuff. We’re a con-
the third stage. If we can’t take the Platform
struction crew, y’all.”

away from them, maybe we can take it down

“If anyone ever saw a construction crew
with them still aboard.”

in robot form,” Chesty said.

“What?” Chesty said, breathing heavily.

“Quick, someone scratch his robot

“I’m a little damned busy right now, Chop-
crotch.”

per.”

“Is it break time yet?”

“Hold them off—I’m going for it!”

“I forgot my lunch box!”

“Chopper—” but Valkyrie’s words were

“How about a beer instead?”

swept from my ears as I sprang across the

“No beer in space.”

Platform, covering meters with every move.

“No beer? I want to talk to the union!”

I think the Chinese might have suddenly f ig-

The one-liners continued to reel from all
ured me out, because Chesty announced
lips, and pretty soon we’d all been reduced
that they’d turned her loose. She was com-
to painful laughter, our proxies emulating us
ing up after them as they came up after me.

as we hunched, our torsos and heads bob-

I made it to the Centurion’s open bay,
bing—letting it out.

found the manual control panel, and began

“Okay kids,” Valkyrie’s f irm, maternal
pushing buttons.

voice said in our ears. “Play time is over.

After the f irst time I saw the manual con-

That will do. You’ve still got a lot of stuff to
trols—while working on Ride Platform—I
unload from that Centurion before the sortie
got curious, and pleaded with Valkyrie to let
is over. And your batteries are draining every
me see the Centurion’s operational specs.

second you waste hamming it up.”

No sense holding back. Otherwise what was

The lot of us yesmammed and shut up,
the exchange off icer program for? I wanted
though snickers could still be heard here
the full skinny, nuts and bolts and nozzles
and there.

and gears.

Having aff ixed our collapsed strut to its

She had reluctantly agreed.

designated hard point, Chesty and I went

And now I believed this knowledge was
back to the Centurion and began taking out
our best, last hope.

another.

The control panel lit up and announced

I noticed there was a rudimentary control
via f lashing LCD screen that the fuel pumps
board up near the nose cone, tucked just in-
were being primed. Precious seconds ticked
side the cowling.

away as the Chinese came on. Wherever

“Mind if I take this thing for a test drive,
they thought they were taking the Grissom
boss?”

Platform via its own RCS, I was about to ruin

If Valkyrie couldn’t see what I saw, she at
their day.

least inferred what I meant.

Just when the Chinese—and Chesty—had

“Sure,” she said. “There’s plenty of orbital
almost reached me, I stabbed at the cheerful
burn fuel in the tanks, if you want to use it.

orange IGNITE button, and latched onto the

Take the nose cone off and the third stage
control panel’s protective rails with both
has a hard dock that allows us to mate it
hands and feet.

with the Platforms and boost their orbits,

The Platform lurched and shoved, the sud-

36

BRAD R. TORGERSEN

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den thrust from the Centurion causing it to

I decided it was prudent not to f ind out.

begin spinning on a new axis as the Plat-
form’s own RCS went out of whack. Chesty

The news called it an unfortunate acci-
just barely had time to grab hold of a support
dent. The f ireball had streaked across the
beam before the Chinese tumbled away and
skies of one ocean and two continents, be-
hung like cat toys on the ends of spongy
fore what remained splashed down a hun-
strings. They f lailed and kicked, but it was
dred miles off the Hawaiian coast.

no good. The torque was too much for

The Chinese never said a word, other than
them.

to offer some back-handed condolences for

But my proxy held fast, and I—safely on
the loss of the hardware.

the ground—felt none of the deleterious ef-

Chesty and me?

fects of the spin.

Well, we didn’t get court-martialed.

“What are you doing??” Valkyrie demanded.

Valkyrie did have to report to the Penta-

“I’m taking the Platform out,” I said.

gon and she did have to do some rather ex-

“By whose authorization, Chopper?”

tensive explaining—thank goodness for the

“Ma’am,” I said, “if I can’t have an auto-de-
proxy recordings giving the generals a front-
struct, it’s up to me to effect a manual de-row seat to the action—but in the end, the
struct. I’m going to try and push us down
spiking of the Grissom Platform was deemed
into the atmosphere. The Platform, the prox-
not only necessary, but valorous.

ies, the Chinese, all of us.”

Though, Chesty and I both felt a bit sheep-

Silence.

ish receiving awards for a thing which had

I suddenly imagined my boss being the
not, technically, placed either of our lives in
chief witness at my court-martial.

danger.

“It’s the only way,” I said.

But then, war had become more and more

“He’s probably right,” Chesty said, agree-
like that. The machines were doing the f ight-
ing. “We don’t have any weapons, and the
ing, as well as the labor. I wondered what
proxy batteries will run out sooner or later.

someone like Kipling might have thought of

And then the Platform belongs to the Chi-
that? And decided I wasn’t entirely sure.

nese. Would you rather tell your bosses at

When the dust ultimately settled, Valkyrie
the Pentagon we sank the ship and took the
put us back to work.

enemy with us? Or let them have it without

“You broke it,” she told us. “You build an-
a serious struggle?”

other one in its place.”

More silence.

Our exchange off icer tours were extend-

Then, with a reluctant sigh, “Go.”

ed.

“Yes ma’am,” I said.

The work was, well, work. But satisfying

The manual controls were diff icult to f ina-
work. And the Chinese didn’t try another
gle, with the Platform’s own RCS mucking
stunt on our watch, so thank goodness for
up the trajectory. But I could already tell it
small miracles.

was working. We were spiraling in. Faster

The true surprise showed up six months
and faster. And while the proxy had what it
after Chesty and I left Hill.

took to withstand the centrifugal gee, I

It was a manila envelope, delivered certi-
could tell just by looking that the Chinese
f ied USPS, from the Navy off ices in Flori-
were in no position to stop me.

da—where they still trained real astronauts.

The Earth grew steadily larger as we went

Inside was a formal memo informing me
down, the Centurion’s fuel gradually bleed-
that, if I chose to accept it, the Navy would
ing to fumes.

gratefully accept me for another exchange

“Got any last words, Marine?” I said to my
off icer tour. This time as part of the next
partner.

year’s class of astronaut candidates. I

“I regret that I have but one life to give for
scanned the list of names who’d already ac-
my country,” she said, half-mocking.

cepted, and saw MAVELINE STODDARD.

“Yeah,” I said. “Me too.”

Well, hell, who am I to let that Marine

I began to wonder what it would be like
show me up?

to re-enter in proxy form.

THE EXCHANGE OFFICERS

37

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The War of
the Worlds,

Book One,

Chapter 18:

the Sergeant-

Major

John G. Hemry

We’ll bet you didn’t know
about this part. . . .

ergeant-Major Richardson paused a mo-
by the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom
ment after he entered the regimental
of Great Britain and Ireland Queen, Defender
headquarters building. He carefully ad-
of the Faith, Empress of India in this year of

Sjusted his uniform to correct anydisor- 1898.

der created by the hot wind blowing off the

Uniform straightening done, Richardson
hills to the west, f licking away a few specks
turned an unruff led eye on the sergeant oc-
of dust which had been carried by that wind.

cupying the desk outside the colonel’s of-

Sergeant-Major Richardson had served in
f ice. “I understand that Colonel Allen wishes
every corner of the far-f lung British Empire,
to see me regarding a matter of some ur-
and not jungle monsoon nor open country
gency.”

blizzard nor the often-barren winds of this

The sergeant, secure in his position as ad-
highland region of southern Asia would be al-
ministrative aide to the colonel, f inished
lowed to disrupt the proper appearance ex-
writing a sentence in the report he was
pected of a soldier of Her Majesty Victoria,
working on before replying. “That’s right,

38

JOHN G. HEMRY

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JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2013

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Sergeant-Major. Go right in.”

along with it, and we don’t need some

Richardson entered the off ice, coming to
damnable foreigners showing up trying to
attention and saluting. “Sergeant-Major
compete with the British Empire!”

Richardson, reporting as ordered, sir.”

Sergeant-Major Richardson nodded, an an-

“Ah, Richardson. Good man.” Colonel
swering frown slightly furrowing his own,

Allen sat behind an impressive desk whose
otherwise militarily-correct, brow. “Could it
surface was almost completely covered by
actually be the French again, sir? Pretending
pictures and souvenirs from all over the em-
to be these people from Mars, I mean. They
pire. Allen had been slightly overweight
are quite devious.”

when he reported as commander of this unit,

“Hmmm. Yes. It would be just like the
but after a few bouts with the fevers and oth-

French, and they haven’t tried attacking us
er ailments of the region he looked a bit on
for some time now.” Colonel Allen stood in
the thin side. “We have a problem, Sergeant-
deep thought for a long moment, then

Major.”

glanced down at the message again. “Howev-

“A problem, sir? Something to do with the
er, according to this, Paris is also being at-
men?”

tacked.”

“No, no.” Allen waved a dismissive hand,

“Could that information be in error, sir?”

getting up from his desk and rattling the

“This is an official communication,
pages of a message held in the other hand.

Sergeant-Major!” Having disposed of the pos-

“Some sort of invasion.”

sibility of error, the colonel glanced suspi-

“Here, sir?” Richardson asked.

ciously at the map once more. “Now, the

“Here, there, everywhere,” the colonel

Americans. They could be involved. These
replied, gesturing toward the ornate map
tripod contraptions seem just the sort of
dominating one wall of his off ice. “It’s not
thing that nation of morally deviant mechan-
just us. Apparently some chaps from Mars, of
ics would produce. We were well-rid of the
all places, have decided to invade our world.”

Yanks, Sergeant-Major. Their uncouth man-

“Mars, sir? I’m not familiar with that coun-
ners and uncivilized behaviors would have
try, sir.”

rotted the Empire from within. Well, it

“It’s not a country, it’s a planet. Another
doesn’t really matter whether these invaders
planet. Quite a long ways off. You know, the
are from Mars or some equally alien realm
red one.”

such as . . . New York. We have our orders.”

“Oh, very good, sir.”

“Yes, sir.”

“These chaps from Mars,” Allen continued,

Colonel Allen sat down, running one hand

“are all over the place, using some sort of ma-
through his thinning hair. “Unfortunately,
chines called tripods that are causing no end

Sergeant-Major, the timing of this particular
of trouble. One of their . . .” The colonel con-
invasion could scarcely be more inconve-
sulted the message. “Shells. They landed here
nient. Your lieutenant died of the fever two
in shells of some kind. Deuced peculiar way
weeks ago, Captain Smithers is still on med-
to travel, eh? Fast, I suppose, but otherwise
ical convalescence, and I have an extremely
most uncomfortable, I would think. In any
pressing social engagement. I cannot both
event, this shell landed to the west of us.

deal with this invasion matter and attend the

Most of the machines in that shell went

Viceroy’s Ball.”

south, but one is coming this way, apparently

“Most unfortunate and unfair, sir.”

heading for the capital of this district. We

“Quite right. Failing to attend the Viceroy’s
have been ordered to deal with it.”

Ball would be an unforgivable social blunder.

Colonel Allen frowned peevishly at the

Yet our orders require us to act with the ut-
message transcript, then pointed a com-
most dispatch.” Colonel Allen leaned back
manding foref inger at the map. “Whitehall
and smiled. “Why don’t you take care of this
believes that these people from Mars mean to
little matter, Sergeant-Major? Take whatever
attempt to conquer the world! Cheeky
soldier s you need, trounce the Martian
blighters. Don’t they know that conquering
blighter heading in this direction, and then
the world is the sole prerogative of Her
see about getting those bushes on the left

Majesty the Queen of England? We’re well
side of my quarters replaced. The foliage

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there is positively patchy.”

tion to deal with an invasion, Corporal. Col-

“I will be happy to see to the matter my-
lect Privates Jones, Hastings, Cooper, and
self, sir.”

Smith. Assemble them on the parade ground.

“Very good, Sergeant-Major. Here. Take this

I will speak with the Service Corps regarding
message. It has a description of the enemy
supplies.”

that may prove of use to you. Dismissed.”

“Yes, Sergeant-Major!” Thomas darted back

Sergeant-Major Richardson saluted briskly,
into the barracks, yelling out the names of
pivoted in place, then marched out.

the privates.

Once the colonel’s door was closed,

Richardson walked at his usual brisk pace

Sergeant-Major Richardson turned to the
to the supply building, where the front room

Colonel’s aide. “Sergeant Meadows, I have
was dominated by a large desk occupied by a
been commanded to put together an expedi-
small sergeant.

tion which must leave without delay. I re-

“I am in need of extra ammunition and ra-
quire a list of all soldiers in the regiment who
tions for an expedition,” Sergeant-Major
are not dead, injured, sick, in hospital for un-

Richardson explained. “We are to leave as
determined ailments, on detached duty, on
soon as possible.”

leave, or assigned to duties from which they

The Army Service Corps sergeant serving
cannot be spared.”

as Sub-Assistant Commissary extended his

“Right. ” Sergeant Meadows opened a
right hand, palm upward. “Where’s your
ledger on his desk, running a careful pencil
signed requisition?”

down the rows and occasionally making a no-

“I have order s from Colonel Allen, ”

tation on a sheet of paper. Completing his

Richardson said.

task, he handed the paper to Richardson.

“Orders. That’s f ine. You have orders and I

“Here you are, Sergeant-Major. That’s every-
need a requisition. I can’t issue supplies with-
one.”

out a requisition which has been properly

Richardson studied the list for several sec-
f illed out and signed by the appropriate off i-
onds. “This is every soldier who is available?”

cers.”

“Every one,” Meadows conf irmed. “How

“Sergeant Forry,” Sergeant-Major Richard-
many of them do you need?”

son said with great patience. “I have been or-

“I shall take all of them.”

dered to meet an invasion force of people

“All of them?” Sergeant Meadows echoed
from the planet Mars. The Colonel indicated I
in surprise. “All right, then. It’s your expedi-
should proceed on this mission as expedi-
tion. That will be Corporal Thomas and Pri-
tiously as possible.”

vates Jones, Hastings, Cooper, and Smith.

Forry sighed heavily, shaking his head.

You’re certain that you need all f ive?”

“Ever y day it’s like this. Bend the rules,

“Quite certain,” Sergeant-Major Richardson

Sergeant Forry. Just this once, Sergeant Forry.

said.

It’s important, Sergeant Forry. But if I bent

“They’re yours.” Meadows began making
the rules every time someone had a birthday,
notations in his ledger. “Let me know when
or had an off icer who fell sick, or needed
you’re done with them.”

something extra to impress a native girl, or

“Certainly.” The Sergeant-Major left the
had to go off and f ight an invasion from an-
headquarters building and walked straight to
other planet, then where would I be? I’d be
the barracks. “Corporal Thomas!” he called.

violating the rules, is what I’d be doing, and

Richardson had not appeared to put any spe-
you can be sure that I’d be called to account
cial effort into the hail, but his voice boomed
for it. By the book, Sergeant-Major. If you
out at a volume which others nearby sus-
want to f ight these . . . what are they again?”

pected could be heard far into the Indian

“People from Mars.”

Ocean to the south and up to the tundra in

“If you want to f ight these people from
the north.

Mars, then you’ll have to do it by the book.”

Thomas popped out of the barracks within

Richardson could have raised his voice,
moments, saluting smartly. “Yes, Sergeant-Ma-
could have protested further, but he knew
jor!”

that would be a waste of time against a deter-

“You are to accompany me on an expedi-
mined Ar my Ser vice Corps bureaucrat.

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Sergeant-Major Richardson never wasted
them to stiff attention. “Right. We will be un-
time. Instead, the Sergeant-Major walked
dertaking an expedition. You will all draw full
back to the headquarters building, his face
rations and extra ammunition.”

impassive, passing by Corporal Thomas and

“What is it we’re going of f to f ight,
the four privates lined up beside him with ex-

Sergeant-Major?” Private Jones asked. “Tribals
pressions of long-suffering fatalism.

again?”

“Sergeant Meadows,” Richardson said as he

“No,” Richardson said. “We are being in-
reentered headquarters, “I require a complet-
vaded. By some sort of people from Mars.”

ed requisition form in order to get supplies

“Mars?”

for my expedition.”

“Yes. That is a planet, Private Jones. One so

“Certainly you do,” Meadows agreed. “Nev-
distant that they apparently are unaware that
er mind the hurry. Who’s on duty? That sod
one does not invade the British Empire. We Forry?”

are to inform them of the error of their

“He’s the one. Is the colonel available to
ways.”

sign the form?”

“Just the six of us, Sergeant-Major?” Private

“Not likely. The colonel will be indisposed

Hastings asked. “How many of these Mars
by now what with his mid-morning gin-and-
people are we supposed to snooker?”

tonic kicking in.” Meadows opened a drawer,

“Just the one.” Richardson consulted the
examined a piece of paper, then passed it to
message he had been given by Colonel Allen.

Richardson. “But, no bother. Here you are,

“One machine, that is, operated by an un-

Sergeant-Major. A supply requisition form
known number of Mars people. The machine
signed by all appropriate off icers. Just f ill in
is about one hundred feet high, resembling a
the blanks for what you need.”

large, armored boiler which walks on three

“What about this off icer?” Richardson
long, articulated legs which are f lexible in
asked, pointing to a blank line.

their motion. The primary weapon is some

“Him? You probably don’t need him, but,
manner of heat ray which can, at a distance,
just to be safe . . .” Meadows took the paper
set fire to wood, melt metal and glass, and, of
back and scrawled a signature. “There you
course, kill anything it encounters.”

are. Looks just like his.”

The four privates, who had begun relaxing

“So it does. Thank you, Sergeant Mead-
on being told they faced a single opponent,
ows.”

were now staring aghast at the sergeant-ma-

“My pleasure, Sergeant-Major Richardson.

jor. “One hundred feet tall and armor and

Give Sergeant Forry a kick in the arse for me,
some heat ray and all we’ve got is these ri-
will you?”

f les?” Jones stammered.

The Sergeant-Major paused only long

“These rif les,” Sergeant-Major Richardson
enough to f ill in the requisition form, then
said severely, “are Lee-Metford bolt-action
made his way once more across the parade
magazine rif les, each capable of accurately
ground and into the supply building, where
f iring a .30 caliber bullet at a rate of twenty

Sergeant Forry regarded the requisition form
rounds a minute in the hands of a trained sol-
dubiously. “That was quick.”

dier, which all of you are. But those are not

Richardson pointed to where he had writ-
our only weapons. We also have our Pattern
ten in his requirements. “It says immediately.

1888 bayonets.”

I will be back with my men in f ive minutes to

“Oh, right,” Jones said. “I forgot about the
pick up the supplies.”

bayonets.”

“Five minutes? Sergeant-Major, we’re short-

“How are we going to use bayonets against
handed here and-”

a one hundred foot high machine what’s got

“If you look up the word immediately in
armor on it?” Private Cooper asked.

the book, Sergeant Forry, you will f ind there

“You just leave that to me,” Sergeant-Major
is no exception for being short-handed. By

Richardson replied. “Now, come along and
the book, Sergeant Forry.”

draw your supplies. We would not want to

Back into the sun, Richardson approached
keep Sergeant Forry waiting.”

his expeditionary force, giving a narrow-eyed
appraisal to the f ive men that brought all of

With Sergeant-Major Richardson leading

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ANALOG

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the way as they marched, the expedition
the large basket mounted behind the shape
maintained a good pace until just before
on top and the way gouts of green smoke
noon on the second day. The countryside
would burst at sporadic intervals from the
here consisted of ranks of hills interrupted by
joints in the machine’s legs.

highland valleys. The hills were for the most

After about twenty minutes of close obser-
part desolate, marked by bare rock, dirt,
vation, Sergeant-Major Richardson turned to
withered patches of grass, and an occasional
call back. “Corporal Thomas, if you would
scattering of scrub brush. The valleys were
join me. Keep low as you come up.”

better off, with enough topsoil and moisture

Thomas appeared a moment later,
to sustain villages and farms.

crouched over as he moved to join Richard-

The expedition had passed one such vil-
son behind the boulder. “Will you look at
lage at the foot of a pass, where the road rose
that?” the corporal breathed as he stared at
fairly steeply for a ways before coming over
the machine from Mars.

the crest and diving into the next valley be-

“I have been doing exactly that, Corporal
yond. As the y approached the crest,

Thomas,” Richardson replied. “Observation

Sergeant-Major Richardson heard unusual
of the foe.” The sergeant-major nodded to-
noises in the distance and ordered the expe-
ward the distant tripod. “What are we see-
dition to halt. “Hold the men here, Corporal
ing?”

Thomas. I shall conduct a reconnaissance.”

“A very large and . . . very dangerous war

He walked carefully up the remainder of
machine,” Thomas replied hesitantly.

the slope, pausing when he reached a point

“Yes, of course. But what is it doing?”

where the next valley spread out within his

“Pretty much damn all it wants as far as I
gaze.

can see,” Thomas said.

Sure enough, the tripod machine operated

“Exactly. ” Sergeant-Major Richardson
by the people from Mars was rampaging
paused as they watched the far-off tripod
among the farms in this valley. Richardson
wade into a f ield of livestock and select sev-
walked forward a few more paces, taking
eral sheep which were seized by snake-like
cover behind a boulder which had long ago
tendrils. The tendrils hauled their protesting
fallen from the low walls of the pass to pro-
burdens into the basket behind the structure
vide convenient concealment for such ob-
on top of the tripod. The distant sound of
servers as himself.

bleating cut of f, but from this distance

He watched for some time as the tripod

Richardson could not tell whether the sheep
roamed across the valley, methodically
had been killed or taken alive inside the ar-
smashing every farmhouse, barn, and other
mored top. The alien device came to a stop,
structure while human shapes, tiny at this
braced on three now-rigid legs like some sort
distance, ran frantically about. The sergeant-
of massive chair perched incongruously in
major noted that the people from Mars did
the middle of a pasture. “I would expect they
not bother to use their heat ray, contenting
have just acquired their mid-day meal.”

themselves with employing multiple tenta-

“But how does that help us, Sergeant-Ma-
cles from their tripod to destroy the struc-
jor?”

tures and occasionally pick up a f leeing

Richardson held up his right thumb. “One,
human who was tossed away like a worthless
it means they will sit there for a while during
catch. So, you are feeling rather full of your-
their meal. We have time to prepare our plan,
selves, aren’t you, people from Mars?

Corporal.” Now the sergeant-major straight-

Focusing on the movement of the tripod,
ened his foref inger. “Two, as you observed,

Richardson took note of how the long, many-
they are doing whatever they want. It is ap-
jointed legs propelled the tripod, how far
parent that they know of no opponent they
they moved at each step, and how they ad-
cannot overcome. They will go where they
justed to changing terrain. The message to
want, when they want, and in general act as

Colonel Allen appeared to have accurately
lords of all creation.”

described the general size and nature of the

Corporal Thomas gave an outraged gasp.

machine from Mars, but had not mentioned

“Do the bleeding sods think they’re British?”

some things about the tripods, in particular

“Apparently so, corporal. They think they

42

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are British. You and I know that they are not.

ed. With the help of his persuasive and in-

We know that their self-assurance and sense spiring words, as well as the brandishing of
of superiority is misplaced.” Sergeant-Major
the f ive rif les wielded by the Sergeant-Major

Richardson pointed toward the tripod again.

and the privates, all of the able-bodied men

“They intend coming this way, heading for
and boys in the village were soon on their
the capital. If you were there, what path
way up the road.

would you take?”

Richardson halted the villagers a little ways

“Up the road. This road.”

below the crest of the road, then studied the

“Exactly,” Sergeant-Major Richardson once
road surface with careful calculation. Moving
more said approvingly. “With that device of
from one spot to another, he marked them
theirs they could take any path, but since
with crosses one of his feet made in the dust.

they believe themselves to be superior to

“Dig here, here, there . . . there . . . and there.

anyone else, they will simply come along this

That is all we shall probably have time for. Six
road.”

to ten feet wide, as deep as we can get

Thomas brightened. “And we’ll be waiting
them.”

for them?”

The villagers looked to their head man,

“We will be waiting for them.”

who spoke rapidly in their own language,

“With our rif les and bayonets,” Thomas
pointing to Richardson. When the head man
continued, his enthusiasm waning as quickly
f inished, his people went to work, digging
as it had grown.

away vigorously despite the blazing sun over-

“Not those alone, Corporal.” Sergeant-Ma-
head.

jor Richardson smiled conf idently and

“What did he tell them, Sergeant-Major?”

tapped the side of his head with one f inger.

Private Cooper asked.

“We have our brains as well, and even though

“While I did not understand every word,”

the Army frowns upon us using our brains in

Richardson replied, “the general nature of his
most situations, I believe an exception will
statement to his people was that it did not
be warranted in this case.”

matter whether they wanted to dig the holes,

“Are your certain of that, Sergeant-Major? I
or whether they thought it made sense. They
wouldn’t want to get into trouble with any of
still had to do it because we were British, and
our off icers by doing any thinking when I
what we tell people to do does not have to
wasn’t supposed to.”

make sense.”

“Never you mind that,” Richardson ad-

“Oh,” Cooper said. “I see. It’s like we’re of-
vised. “I shall be doing the thinking, not
f icers, and they’re soldiers.”

you.”

“Very much like that, yes.”

“Oh, that’s all right, then.”

Once through the packed surface of the

“You are to remain on watch here, Corpo-
road the diggers were able to make good
ral. Signal if the machine begins to move
progress, but Richardson still watched the
again.”

sun’s movement across the sky with growing

“Where will you be, Sergeant-Major?”

concern.

Richardson had stood up and was carefully

“Sergeant-Major!” Corporal Thomas called.

brushing dust from his uniform. “We will re-

“There’s more of that green smoke puff ing
quire labor, Corporal. I shall take the men to
out from that tripod machine. If it were a
the village and acquire suff icient strong arms
steam ship I’d think it were getting ready to
and backs, as well as shovels.”

move.”

“Shovels?”

“Let me know the moment it does, ”

Sergeant-Major Richardson tapped his head

Richardson called back. “All right, the rest of
again. “Thinking, Corporal. We shall out-
you stop digging. Get the cloths over the
think these people from Mars. Keep an eye
holes, peg down the edges with some of the
out. The privates and I will be back soon.”

rocks from the digging, and dust the tops

The villagers were not especially enthusias-
with dirt. The rest of the dirt is to be spread
tic about being drafted for manual labor, but
over the road around the holes and leading

Sergeant-Major Richardson had extensive ex-
up toward the crest. No, no. Don’t tamp it
perience with motivating the under-motivat-
down. Leave it loose.”

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The villagers clambered out of the holes,

Six shots rang out almost as one. At this
needing the assistance of their fellows to do
range, a hit was unlikely, but the sound of the
so because of the depth, and quickly went to
shots reverberated through the countryside.

work camouf laging the holes and spreading

“Reload. Fire!”

the rest of the dirt. Sergeant-Major Richard-

Another six shots. Richardson thought he
son walked among the holes, directing an oc-
heard the sound of a distant bullet striking
casional extra spray of dirt or anchoring rock,
metal this time.

then nodded in approval. “That is all,” he told

The machine from Mars halted, the boiler-
the village head man. “Your lot might want to
shaped structure on top pivoting. Richardson
leave this area as quickly as possible as we in-
caught a glimpse of something bright, as if
tend fighting a battle here with invaders from
sunlight had ref lected on a mirror turning
the planet Mars in the very near future.”

their way. “On your bellies!” Richardson or-

As the villager s f led down the road,
dered.

Richardson walked back to where Corporal

The six soldiers dropped instantly, losing

Thomas remained on watch. As Thomas had
sight of the machine as they lay f lat behind
said, there was a lot more green smoke puff-
the crest of the road. Sergeant-Major Richard-
ing out from the tripod, much like steam
son heard a strange hissing sound just above
from a boiler being pressurized. “Go back
him. He looked up, seeing a span of rock
and line the men up just below the crest of
alongside the pass glowing white and melt-
the road, concealed from the Mars people in
ing like ice in a f ire as what must be the heat
that machine,” the sergeant-major told the
ray of the machine tracked along the area
corporal. “I want everyone ready to fire upon
where the soldiers had been standing. At the
command.”

same time the surface of the road along the

“Yes, Sergeant-Major.” Thomas scrambled
crest itself melted into slick slag.

back to the privates while Richardson waited

The heat ray cut off. To avoid exposing
patiently, his eyes on the tripod.

himself above the crest, Richardson held up

He did not have to wait long. The tripod
the small mirror he carried to ensure his
abruptly jerked into motion, the three legs
moustache always remained properly
suddenly f lexible again, carrying the ma-
trimmed. In the ref lection, he could see the
chine in a strange but rapid gliding walk.

machine from Mars standing still. “They re-

Corporal Thomas had just returned, and
quire more encouragement. On your feet, on
gave a sound of dismay. “They’re not coming
the double. Present! Fire!”

up the road.”

Another volley rang out.

“No,” Richardson agreed. “I suspected

“On your bellies!”

they might not, because those who can do

The gouge melted in the rock by the f irst
whatever they want will not always do what
wave of the heat ray glowed white again and
we want. They are taking a shorter though
more stone f lowed like lava.

steeper path. We shall have to encourage

Richardson took another look using the
them to come this way.” He walked back to
mirror. “Ah, that did it. Here they come. Back
the crest of the road, seeing the four privates
down the road a little ways, lads. Here, past
shoulder to shoulder on the other side. “Take
where the holes are. Let’s see. Sixty feet. That
your position on the left, Corporal.”

should be about right. Corporal Thomas, take

Richardson walked to stand next to Private

Privates Cooper and Hastings and stand next

Hastings on the right of the line. “Six steps,
to that side of the road. Privates Smith and
forward, march!”

Jones, you will stand with me on this side.”

The six steps carried the soldiers up the

The soldier s hastened into position.

hill to where they could easily see over the

Richardson cocked an ear, hearing the hiss
crest, and as easily see the tripod machine
and clanking that told the Mars machine was
walking off to their right. “Target is machine
rapidly growing closer. “Bayonets,” he or-
from Mars,” Sergeant-Major Richardson an-
dered.

nounced. “Present!”

All six soldiers aff ixed bayonets to the

Six rif les came to six shoulders.

front of their rif les.

“Fire!”

“Sergeant-Major,” Private Smith asked in a

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very worried voice, “how are we going to
tougher, so that the bayonet only stuck part f ight that thing when it gets here?”

way in instead of shattering the material.

“You just do as you’re told, Private. Steady,

Richardson f ired, the bullet at point-blank
now.”

range f inishing the job the bayonet had start-

“Yes, Sergeant-Major.”

ed, splintering the cover of the port. He

The boiler-shaped top of the tripod ap-
worked the bolt of his rifle rapidly, firing sev-
peared with shocking suddenness, the ma-
eral more times into the top structure, hear-
chine reaching the crest of the road and
ing the bullets strike or ricochet inside.

starting down the other side so quickly that

The other soldiers were also busy doing
the soldiers could not have run if they had
the same, some f iring down vents and others
tried.

pouring shots through additional openings.

But the tripod wobbled as its legs slid

Private Jones had found some sort of tubes
across the smooth slag its own weapon had
along the top of the structure and was busy
created on the crest of the road. Slightly off-
ventilating their thin metal with bayonet and
balance, the tripod tottered onward down
bullet. Greenish f luid spurted out, steaming
the slope like a running man trying to regain
in the air, and Jones leaped back with a gasp
his equilibrium.

as some of the f luid splashed his sleeve and

Unfortunately for the tripod and its opera-
instantly dissolved the fabric.

tors, the loose dirt spread along the road of-

The tripod struggled to rise, but only sec-
fered little purchase for the
onds had passed and the occupants of the tri-
increasingly-frantic efforts of the many-joint-
pod were doubtless still stunned from the
ed legs. Even more unfortunately for the in-
fall. However, something was reacting to the
vader s, Sergeant-Major Richardson had
attack. Sergeant-Major Richardson spotted
correctly judged the size and spacing of the
snake-like motion out of the corner of his eye
holes based on his earlier observations of the
and hastily brought his rif le up and around,
tripod’s movement. One leg abruptly slid into
parrying a cobra-like strike of one of the ma-
a concealed hole. It tried to stiffen to support
chine’s tentacles.

the tripod, but the machine had been moving

The heat ray lit off as well, boring a glow-
forward so fast with its balance already com-
ing line into the road as it pivoted over and
promised that the entire device tilted for-
up.

ward, the other two legs scuttling over the

Private Cooper, nearest to the heat ray but
road seeking a hold.

to one side, reversed his rif le and brought

A second leg went into another hole with-
the butt down on the slightly-protruding
in a couple of seconds of the f irst. Swift loss
shiny object that must be the muzzle of the
of support joined with the traps formed by
heat ray. A f lash of light and heat tossed
the holes and the force of momentum to do

Cooper back, followed by a series of bangs
their work, the entire machine slamming
and shudders from inside the machine.

down to earth, the boiler-shaped structure

The soldiers dropped away as the boiler-
on top crashing to the road where the sol-
shaped top of the tripod staggered upward to
diers waited on either side.

just over their heads under the push of tenta-

“At them!” Sergeant-Major Richardson
cles gathered under it, wavering there like a
shouted, leaping forward. “Find anywhere a
sorely-stricken creature trying to regain its
rif le barrel can f it and f ire into it!”

feet. Another crash sounded, much larger

From a distance, the armored top of the tri-
than the others, and parts of the tripod’s ar-
pod had looked distressingly solid, but as the
mored top bulged out from the force of a
sergeant-major had suspected, up close many
large internal explosion.

small apertures, vents, and ports could be

The entire machine went limp, dropping
seen. The empty basket on the back blocked
to the ground again.

access there, but the rest of the top could be

Sergeant-Major Richardson approached the
easily reached with the machine brought
top of the tripod gingerly, as did Corporal
down. Richardson slammed his bayonet into

Thomas on the other side.

one of the glassy ports. Whatever covered

“Gawd, what a stink!” Thomas said. “Do
the port wasn’t glass but something much
you think we killed it, Sergeant-Major? Or

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killed whoever was inside?”

the men, Corporal. We shall return to our

Richardson put one ear to the aperture he
post and report our success.”

had previously f ired through. He could hear

As the small column of soldiers marched
hissing and popping sounds, but nothing
down the road, Private Cooper called out an-
else. “It seems we have, Corporal, on both
other question. “Sergeant-Major, did you say
counts.” A louder hissing sounded. “Step
there were a lot more of those things?”

back, Corporal.”

“Yes, Private. All over the world. But that

They had both taken several steps back-
was the only one near us, and the only one
wards when another explosion took place in-
which was our responsibility.”

side the machine, rocking it and blowing out

“Do you think all of those other tripod ma-
a couple of armored panels that soared sky-
chines from Mars will cause a lot of problems?”

wards brief ly before thudding back to earth.

Sergeant-Major Richardson shook his head.

Green smoke fountained upward, subsiding

“I very much doubt it, Private. We handled
quickly into a thin streamer that rose uncer-
this one without too much trouble. How
tainly into the pale sky.

much inconvenience can the rest of them be

Sergeant-Major Richardson walked back to
causing?”

the machine and looked in through the gaps
produced by the blown-out armor, weaving

Literary Postscript: Chapter 18 of Book
his head back and forth a bit to try to catch

One of The War of the Worlds has come to be glimpses of what was inside without getting
referred to as the “lost chapter” because it
too close to the green smoke drifting up-
was not included in the work published by
ward. He saw odd mechanical shapes, shards

H. G. Wells. The reasons why Mr. Wells chose
of metal and what might be broken glass, and
not to include Chapter 18 in the f inal work,
what looked very much like parts of some
and why he destroyed all copies except the
kind of once-living creature. “That does it,”

one recently discovered, cannot be deter-
he announced to the others. “We have de-
mined with certainty today. The majority of
feated the invasion of the people from Mars
scholar s have concluded that Mr. Wells
at this particular location. Well done. It is safe
thought the shift of point-of-view character
to assume from what I can see that none of
and location in this single chapter would
the invaders are still alive and requiring med-
have interrupted the narrative f low of the
ical assistance. Are there any injuries among
book. Others argue that Mr. Wells may have
the expedition?”

thought the events in this chapter conf licted

“Private Cooper is a bit scorched,” Corpo-
with the otherwise universal theme of his
ral Thomas said. “Nothing serious, though.”

book in which an impotent humanity is help-

“My uniform blouse is damaged,” Private
less before a foe with superior technology.

Jones offered, holding up his frayed sleeve.

It must be acknowledged that a few critics

“And yet still you stand before us despite
have insisted that the structure, theme, and
your ordeal,” Sergeant-Major Richardson
style of Chapter 18 are so different from
commented. “We will see about getting the
those in the rest of The War of the Worlds
blouse mended. What about you, Private
that it cannot have been written by Mr. Wells

Smith? A problem with your arm?”

and instead is a recent “addition” to the book

“One of those tentacle things grabbed it,
by a modern author who disagrees with the

Sergeant-Major,” Smith replied. “Right before
central theme of The War of the Worlds and the whole thing went all knackered. My arm’s
believes that human ingenuity would not
sore, but it don’t feel broken or anything.”

have been powerless in such a scenario.

“Be certain to have it checked when we re-

However, extensive and impartial literary
turn. Anyone else? No?”

critical analysis and deconstruction of Chap-

Private Jones scratched his chin as he
ter 18 by the Royal Library in London has
looked at the wrecked tripod. “What’ll we do
concluded that these few dissenters (who are
with that, Sergeant-Major?”

without exception not British) have no

“It is broken equipment, Private Jones.

grounds for their argument.

That means it is the responsibility of the en-
gineers. We shall leave it to them. Form up

46

JOHN G. HEMRY

WorldMags.net

WorldMags.net

Special Features

Time, Place,
and Wonder:

The Use of

Setting in

Short Fiction

Richard A. Lovett
cience fiction is often described as the
tion it often takes the forefront. What would
literature of ideas—and nowhere more

Arthur C. Clarke’s Rendezvous with Rama be than in Analog. But ideas don’t stand in
without the giant alien spacecraft? Or Larry

Sisolation.To become stories,theyneed Niven’s Ringworld without the enormous rib-to be accompanied by other elements, such as
bon-like world that instantly enthroned the
plot, character, setting, theme, conf lict, and
story among the genre’s classics?

resolution.

Even mundane settings, however, can be

There is no definitive list of what these ele-
important. Among my own stories, a personal
ments must be before a piece of writing be-
favorite is “Dinosaur Blood.”1 It involves an en-
comes a “story,” but one of the most basic is
ergy-depleted future, in which an heiress
setting.

named Trista inherits a museum full of auto-

Setting is the location where the story’s ac-
mobiles and a five-hundred-gallon tank trailer
tion is placed—“location” being broadly
of gasoline—the world’s last. Using these,
enough def ined to include all of time and
she and her geeky friend Rhona set off on
space plus any alternatives to these that sci-
the last true road trip, eventually reaching
ence f iction might dream up. In science f ic-
the deserts of the American West in an SUV

1 Analog, January/February 2006.

TIME, PLACE, AND WONDER . . .

47

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ANALOG

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powerful enough to pull the trailer through
ample from one of my early stories, “911-Back-
the decaying roads of her post-industrial
up”:3
world.

The result is a story with two basic as-

Winston was on the Sunset Highway
pects to its setting. One is the future in
when it happened. He’d just crested the
which a privileged few have access to enor-

Sylvan Hill, where the freeway, living
mous resources while the rest are relegated
up to its name, lined up on the late-af-
to horses, bicycles, walking, or expensive
ternoon sun. He squinted, winced, and
public transportation. But what makes this
reached for the visor . . .

story a personal favorite is the other aspect
of the setting: the road trip, on which I sent

There’s nothing fancy here, but it establish-

Trista to areas I knew intimately, with the
es all of the setting that this part of the story is idea of seeing how places that have etched
going to need: Winston is in a car, driving into
themselves deeply in my soul might trans-
blinding sunlight.

form her. As the story developed, these set-

I could, of course, have saved a few words
tings became critical to the story, albeit not
by simply saying this directly:

in the same way as Clarke’s and Niven’s gi-
ant artifacts.

Winston was driving home when the
shaft of sunlight hit him in the eyes. He

Not as Easy As It Looks
squinted, winced, and reached for the

Writing about setting is deceptively diff i-
visor . . .

cult. You might think the hard part is work-
ing out the big concepts of idea, plot, and

But there’s a difference in f lavor. In this
character, but it turns out that getting the
bare-bones version, I have simply reported in-
setting right is often more diff icult. “It’s the formation. In the longer version, there’s more
most overlooked aspect of the novice sto-
sense of place. The highway has a name—one
ry,” says Mary Rosenblum, a writing teacher
that’s actually relevant to what’s about to hap-
and novelist who has herself sold more than
pen. And cresting the hill explains why Win-

60 short stories.2
ston was caught by surprise. At the cost of a

But that doesn’t mean writers should gener-
mere f ifteen extra words, the longer version
ate pages and pages of description. “I couldn’t
puts us a bit more firmly in the car with him.4
count the number of times I’ve used the

At the same time, we don’t need a lot of de-
phrase ‘gratuitous setting details’ when I cri-
tail. How many lanes does the Sunset Highway
tique stories in workshops,” says Analog regu-have? What lane is Winston in? How fast is he
lar Jerry Oltion. “A little orientation is good,
going? How high is the Sylvan Hill? All these
but some writers describe every new setting
have answers but the word “freeway” gives
in excruciating detail, to the point where you
the story everything it needs. “A writer should
cringe when a character walks from one room
remember that readers have imagination,”

to another. I don’t care what color the curtains
says Oltion. “Let them use it.”

are unless their color plays a role in the story.”

Which doesn’t mean you shouldn’t work

To save yourself from such critiques, begin
out the answers to such questions yourself. By
by figuring out the purpose a setting serves in
knowing what the Sunset Highway looks like,
your story. Sometimes, it’s simply background

I increased my chances of describing the en-
that needs to be sketched just well enough to
suing action realistically, even if the details of
give the story a sense of place. Here’s an ex-

2 Unless otherwise cited, quotes in this article are from personal communications, generally email.

3 Analog, November 2005.

4 Note also how much flatter the prose is in the alternative version. By stripping out the setting details, I’ve left myself less to write about, while still needing to move the story from point A (Winston driving) to point B (Winston unable to see where he is going). For more on this, see my article “More than Plot and Character: The Story-Telling Secret of Narrative Voice,” Analog, July/Aug 2011.

48

RICHARD A. LOVETT

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JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2013

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that knowledge never found their way direct-
and stepped off the strip at a door
ly into the story.

marked:

There are times, though, when readers
need the details spelled out. Consider mystery

BUREAU OF ECONOMIC STATISTICS
stories. There are two basic types. One focus-

Office of Analysis and Prediction
es on the puzzle, the other on setting—it’s ba-

Director
sically the difference between Agatha

PRIVATE

Christie’s brainteasers and Tony Hillerman’s

Navajo mysteries. You read Agatha Christie to

He punched the door with a code
match wits with Miss Marple or Hercule
combination, and awaited face check. It

Poirot. You read Tony Hillerman to learn
came properly, the door dilated, and a
about Navajos.

voice inside said, “Come in, Felix.”

Setting is critical to both types of stories,
but serves different purposes in each. In puz-

The most famous line here is the three
zle stories, setting details are important pri-
words, “the door dilated.” Years later, Harlan
marily as they relate to the puzzle. In Agatha

Ellison had this to say about his first reading of

Christie’s Mystery on the Orient Express, it is them:6
useful to know the layout of the train and to
fully understand the clues if you want to have

I . . . was two lines down before I re-
any hope of f iguring out the puzzle on your
alized what the image had been, what
own. In Hillerman-type stories, the puzzle is
the words had called forth. A dilating
largely an excuse to explore a setting, whether
door. It didn’t open, it irised! Dear God, it be geographic, cultural, or historical. Dick
now I knew I was in a future world . . .

Francis’s horseracing stories are similar. I’m
not much of a horseracing fan, but these sto-

The door dilated is the classic example of ries propelled me into a world I found unex-using a single tidbit of setting detail (a single
pectedly fascinating.

word, actually, in the verb dilated) to take the In science f iction, Rama and Ringworld reader from the here-and-now into the world
are like Dick Francis and Tony Hillerman. The
of the story. “That beats f ifty or a hundred
setting is the story.5 These stories involved words an inexperienced writer might use to
huge, totally new concepts, and a big piece of
describe the same door,” says Oltion, who of-
why people flocked to them was to immerse
fers the following hypothetical as a beginner’s
themselves in their settings.

attempt at saying the same thing:

In “911-Backup,” the setting was just a free-
way. We all know what those are like, without

The portal, a two-meter circle f illed
extended description.

with eighteen curved metal plates

Putting this together, we get Rule 1 of set-
shaped like the leaves of a gingko
ting. Know what your story is about.

tree, twisted counter-clockwise and
the plates pivoted outward on hidden

Dilating Doors
bear ings, like a camera ir is back

How you describe the setting is also impor-
when cameras had irises, leaving the
tant. Consider the opening paragraphs of
opening free for our hero to pass

Robert Heinlein’s 1942 novel Beyond This
through.

Horizon:

Reading that, your primary reaction isn’t El-

Hamilton Felix let himself off at the
lison’s belated sense of awe. That’s been beat-
thirteenth level of the Department of Fi-
en out of you with excessive, engineering-
nance, mounted a slideway to the left,
level details. “Heinlein,” Ellison said, “ . . . al-5 Okay, there are also characters and plot. But the setting is primary.

6 From “A Voice From the Styx,” (1968), as quoted in Samuel R. Delany, The Jewel-Hinged Jaw: Notes on the Language of Science Fiction, (1977) p. 13.

7 Ibid.

TIME, PLACE, AND WONDER . . .

49

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ANALOG

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ways managed to indicate the greater strange-

Neither of these was crucial to what I was
ness of a culture with the most casually
writing about. But as long as you don’t
dropped-in reference.”7
overindulge, this type of description can add

Nor is the dilating door the only such refer-
flavor to your story, sticking in readers’ mem-
ence in his novel’s brief introduction. There’s
ory long after the rest is forgotten. It can also
also a slideway and a face check.8
add to atmosphere, tension, or character.

“There are no footnotes and no explana-

Here’s the entire “NetPuppets” scene,
tions,” Robert Silverberg wrote in a 2007 essay
slightly condensed:

for Asimov’s Science Fiction Magazine. 9

“Mounted a slideway. Heinlein doesn’t de-

The apartment complex was as
scribe it. He just tells you that that’s how you
cheaply made as Keith had said, but it
move around in the future. Awaited face
was recently painted and there was no
check. The door is scanning people.”

gang scrawl, overflowing garbage bins,

Silverberg titled his essay “Showing not
or rats scurrying across the parking lot.

Telling,” but when it comes to setting, it could

The Hackett unit sported gaily colored
also be called “Less is More.” Or, as novelist,
drapes and butterf ly suncatchers clus-
futurist, and Analog contributor Brenda Coop-tered around a stained-glass daisy that
er says, “[Use] specific details. As specific as
sparkled in the sun. A fat, orange-and-
possible. Hint at complexity.”

white cat—a color Dennis would have

And that’s good enough to produce Rule 2:

called punkin’ during his Kentucky

Look for details that show your story-world
youth—dozed on the window ledge
in action.

like a melting tub of butter.

Note that this does not mean that every-

Linda strode boldly to the door, but
thing should be alien or futuristic. “Some de-

Dennis held back. “Are you sure this is a
tails should be ordinary,” says Hugo-winning
good idea?”

short story writer Robert Reed. “That is, not

Linda latched a hand onto his elbow
so alien that the rules of our world don’t ap-
and propelled him forward. “Yes. It’s
ply. [Then] the unexpected rears up, the read-
the only way.”

er’s pulse quickens, and the reader starts

“What if they have a gun?”

watching out for new surprises.”10

She released his elbow, stopped, and
turned to face him. “You have got to be

Scraping Rain
kidding. Have you seen anything that

Although it’s a mistake to f lood readers
might indicate that we have to worry
with all of the setting trivia you’ve invented or
about guns?”

researched, a few nonessentials can be fun

“No, but I didn’t know anything
and entertaining.

about a cat, either.”

Years ago, in a travel article, I described a

Linda sighed. “And I didn’t know
range of mountains in eastern Nevada as “ris-

Natasha likes butterflies. But butterflies
ing high enough to scrape rain from a reluc-
and cats are in character. Guns aren’t.”

tant sky.” And in a story in Analog I once Before Dennis could protest further, she
included the line: “A fat orange-and-white
rang the bell. “Get ready,” she said. “I
cat—a color Dennis would have called
hear steps.”

punkin’ during his Kentucky youth—dozed
on the window ledge like a melting tub of but-

In this context, the setting details serve a lot
ter.”11
of purposes, but primarily help set the tone

8 Remember, Heinlein was writing in 1942. If these now slide under the radar as near clichés, it’s because he invented them.

9 December 2007.

10 Another trick, he adds, is the naïve protagonist. “Your protagonist doesn’t know what the hell is going on,” he says, “which gives her big eyes and a wonderful sense of exploration.”

11

“NetPuppets,” coauthored with Mark Niemann-Ross, Analog, June 2005.

50

RICHARD A. LOVETT

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JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2013

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for the approaching meeting, which Dennis is
tions, more mountains etched snow
dreading.

against pale-blue sky.

Discussing this now, I notice that I limited
the description to three sentences. As with

Then, a bit later:

“911-Backup,” a lot is omitted. Precisely what
color are the drapes? Is the apartment upstairs

Sunset roused her with its sudden
or downstairs? How many units are in the
chill. Already shivering, Trista scooped
building? How many butterfly suncatchers in
up the tent and started to pull it from its
the window? Most likely you formed an image,
bag, only to be stopped by Rhona.

which might be different from mine. But I

“Let’s sleep under the stars,” Rhona
don’t care because most likely you saw what
said.

Mark and I wanted you to see: your own ver-

“Huh?”

sion of inexpensive-but-tidy.12

“You know, without the tent.”

There are, of course, stories that need you

Trista had barely heard of tents before
to see more precisely. Let’s return to “Di-
she and Rhona bought this one. The
nosaur Blood,” about the futuristic road trip.

idea of sleeping without it was discon-

That story was science-f ictionally complex
certing. “What about bears?”

(with powerful aliens watching Trista from

Rhona chuckled. She was acting like
afar, prepared to judge humanity by what she
an old hand at this but Trista was sure
would eventually do with one of the world’s
she’d checked the Net. “This isn’t bear
last great fortunes). But what I was really in-
country. Besides, do you think a few mi-
terested in was whether she grew up.

crons of fabric would stop a bear?”

I’d had no pre-selected endpoint, which

Trista was sure it wouldn’t, but the
was part of what makes the story a favorite. If
cocoon-like protection of the tent was
she decided to return to her Paris Hiltonesque
one of those illusions she’d rather not
lifestyle, the aliens would destroy humanity,
shatter. “What about mosquitoes?”

and I had a wry fable on human folly. If she

“In the desert? When it’s this cold?

grew up, I had a story about what might pro-

No way.” Trista knew the next line be-
duce a character like Heinlein’s space-industri-
fore it came. “Remember the Pony Ex-
alist hero Delos D. Harriman, “The Man Who
press.”

Sold the Moon.” Either way worked.

Screw the Pony Express, she started

To find out what Trista decided to do (as I
to say. Half of them were probably eat-
noted earlier), I steered her to areas that had
en by bears. But she’d not seen a mos-
done much to make me who I am: the remote
quito all trip. What other nasties might
wildlands of the Great Basin deserts. But for
be out here? Wolves? Scorpions? Fire
her to react to them, I had to describe them in
ants? She didn’t ask because Rhona
more than passing detail.

might know.

I wound up with passages like this:

Trista and Rhona placed the space
heater between them, only to discover

[They were on] a circular plateau of
it didn’t have the power to warm the
basalt, barely larger than the estate
entire outdoors. Oh well, live and learn.

where Trista had grown up. If the navel

Forget wolves and scorpions; tents
of the world was an outie, this was it.

were for warmth.

Below, the Hummer was a dot on the

But as the sky darkened, she forgot
edge of the playa. Late-afternoon sun
about freezing to death.

glinted off the water behind it, while

Sometime, during a short but intense
the western mountains stretched in an
episode when she’d been fascinated by
unbroken escarpment. A jumble of hills
science, she’d read that there were only
rose nearby, while in all other direc-
a few thousand visible stars. But there
seemed to be millions, gleaming at her

12 Plus the cat. I’d had neighbors with a cat like that, and I’d been waiting years to use it in a story.

When the opportunity arose, I was thrilled. But, I also made sure that it f it.

TIME, PLACE, AND WONDER . . .

51

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from all sides. Living in cities, vacation-
about bears. Drop those, and the setting de-
ing in cottages by the lake, she’d seen
tails become ho-hum.

stars before but never anything like

What this means is that even in setting-
this—never even imagined anything
heavy stories, you shouldn’t stop the narrative
like it. Once, people had ventured into
for hundreds of words of exposition. “Dole
that darkness. They’d walked the Moon
out your information f low,” says Cooper. “A
and driven remote-piloted rovers down
page of info-dumps will bore the reader, but
the ancient streambeds of Mars. And
the same information spread [out] adds inter-
then, slowly, they had withdrawn.

est.”

She tried to imagine what it would

The same goes for “world-building” stories
have been like up there. A lot like this,
like Rama and Ringworld. “If your science is-she decided, trying to warm her hands
n’t readable and fed to the reader in necessary
over the space heater without letting

(and digestible) amounts, folks who bore easi-
drafts into her sleeping bag: a mix of
ly (like me) get kicked out of the story,” says
the primitive and high-tech, except

Barry Longyear, whose novella “Enemy Mine”

you’d have to know a lot more about
is a classic example of futuristic world-build-
what you were doing before you tried it
ing.

because live might not always be part of

Which gives us Rule 3: When possible, pre-
live-and-learn.

sent setting details in a manner that furthers

One of the stars was moving. At first
other elements of the story, as well.

she thought her eyes were deceiving
her but then, happy not to have had to

Rule 4 is simpler but equally hard to master:

ask Rhona, she realized it was a satellite.

Know your setting.

Humans hadn’t completely with-

A friend once wrote a story in which the
drawn from space. When Trista was
characters rode a train through the Columbia
young, her f irst trustee, an old man

River Gorge on the border between Washing-
who walked with a stoop and ha-
ton and Oregon. At one point, his protagonist
rangued her about taking advantage of
looked out the windows, gaping at Oregon’s
life’s “broadening experiences,” had

11,235-foot Mt. Hood on one side and Wash-
taken her to a launch where they’d wait-
ington’s 12,276-foot Mt. Adams on the other.

ed a long time before the rocket finally

There was only one hitch: there is no place
rose on a needle of flame and a roar like
along that rail line where you can see both
a hundred private jets all firing at once.

mountains simultaneously.

Then he’d died and nobody else cared

It was a simple error, not critical to the sto-
what she did, so she’d discovered par-
ry. But it’s the type of mistake all of us should
ties and makeup and wine and hadn’t
fear anytime we describe settings we’ve never
even thought of the launch for years,
personally visited. Things that look right on
though of course satellites were tools
the map—or tidbits gleaned from travel web-
she used without thinking every time
sites or encyclopedias—may be standing jokes
she answered the com.

among the locals.

She’d never before seen one in the

There is no ironclad way to protect against
sky. Still cold, but no longer caring, she
this. But there are ways to reduce the risk. The
watched it slide all the way across, until
f irst is simply to make sure your settings are
it vanished behind the prow of a hill.

self-consistent. If the cave passageway your ex-
plorers have been inching down for two

When I decided to use that excerpt for this
hours takes only two minutes to run back out
article, one of the things that caught my atten-
of, something might be wrong. Equally frus-
tion was how hard it was to condense it
trating to the reader is what I think of as the

(which I did, but not by much). That’s be-

TARDIS effect,13 in which an alien temple,
cause the setting material is interspersed with
spaceship, or other object comes across as
action, character development, and the joke
bigger on the inside than the outside.

13 A “Doctor Who” reference, in case you’ve never seen the show.

52

RICHARD A. LOVETT

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“Draw maps and pictures,” says Longyear.

long stretch of small apartments and shops,”

“Work out where everything is that can be
he says:15
seen, heard, smelled, tasted, and touched. Go
there yourself, either really or in your imagina-

I called it Shotgun City, which pretty
tion.”

closely mimics its appearance. To create

If you need a really big map you can even
it, I tried to picture what it would be

“draw” a globe. Such globes were once avail-
like to live in a mountain crowded with
able from at least one company (Farquhar),
thousands of other people. The apart-
with latitude and longitude lines but no other
ment walls would be thin and poor
features. “[They] could be marked with grease
sound barriers (since they’re made
pencil then erased and reused if you were
cheaply and aren’t load bearing). The
done with one planet and wanted to design a
mass of stone would keep the tempera-
new one,” recalls Analog editor Stanley
ture cave-chilly. [That] many people

Schmidt.

breathing, sweating, cooking, eliminat-

Even if you can’t find one on eBay, the idea
ing waste, etc., would give Shotgun City
is still good. You could even use a Pilates ball.

a unique aroma. The place would be

“Relationships among places including ones
claustrophobic, probably, but also com-
with big effects on things like climate and
fortingly embracing, like one of those
commerce, can become obvious on a globe,
little bars on the bad side of town
while going completely noticed on any pro-
where only the locals go, except it
jected map,” Schmidt notes.

would be 1.7 miles long.

Alternatively, you can use a real-world tem-
plate for your setting. I do this often, just to

Notice how Van Pelt’s thoughts focus not
make sure I don’t have characters make two
only on what this setting looks like, but on
right turns, then return to their staring point.

other details that might bring it to life: sounds,

Sometimes the template is overt. In “911-Back-
scent, and temperature. That’s important, says
up” the Sunset Highway and the Sylvan Hill

Cooper, because it’s easy to focus only on a
are real places. But such references are usually
single aspect of your setting: its appearance.

just tidbits to readers who might recognize

“Know what your world, office, spaceship, or
them. More often the template is never speci-
whatever smells like and sounds like and feels
fied and merely lets me keep track of my char-
like,” she says.

acters. My most recent story, “Cats Know,” is

If you use a real setting, however, think
set in a generic-seeming mall. But writing it, I
twice before you use the real name—and if
was modeling it on Portland, Oregon’s, Lloyd
you do use it, make sure you get the details

Center. That way, when my character went
right. “A pet of mine [is] authors who use a
from Macy’s to the Food Court, to a bench
real place name but describe it so inaccurate-
near the movie theaters, I never lost track of
ly that the verisimilitude is ruined for anyone
where he was.14
who knows the place,” says Schmidt.16 For a

Nebula nominee James Van Pelt has carried
true challenge, he adds, “Use a real place
this a bit further in some of his short stories. “I without its name, but describe it vividly
imagined an overcrowded future that has
and accurately enough that a person who
turned the Eisenhower Tunnel on I-70 into a
knows it will recognize it.”

14 Not that any of this ultimately mattered for the story. I did this simply to keep from having to invent a f ictional space in which it could play out.

15 The Eisenhower Tunnel is the point where the interstate highway delves beneath the Continental Divide, west of Denver.

16 An equally egregious version of this is describing an experience, such as venturing outdoors in super-cold weather, and making it sound so extreme that anyone who’s actually done it knows you’re exaggerating. This is a problem in nonf iction, too. A famous adventure writer lost a lot of credibility with me when he over-dramatized the agony of cold-temperature conditions any self-respecting Minnesotan (such as me, at one time) would view as “nasty but survivable.” From that point on, I assumed everything else he wrote was also exaggerated.

TIME, PLACE, AND WONDER . . .

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But remember, “vividly and accurately”

time.

does not necessarily mean “at great length.”

“Working out everything and using just a lit-

This brings us full circle. Many stories (in-
tle bit is wonderful,” says Reed. “Having free
cluding some classic mainstream literature)

time in your life is wonderful. Choose pieces
spend pages and pages describing their set-
of both strategies.”

tings. That’s far too long by modern standards.

Today’s literature is often about minimalism.

“The door dilated.” Forget the rest.

About the Author:

Which gives us our final rule: Rule 5.Figure

Richard A. Lovett is one of the most prolific
out lots of details, then pick the ones you re-
contributors in Analog's long history. In addi-ally need.

tion to writing for these pages, he also writes

The idea is that by knowing everything,
for Nature, National Geographic News, Sci-even if you don’t use most of it, you will wind
entific American, Cosmos, and a variety of up choosing the words that best make every-sports magazines. His first collection of short
thing come to life for the reader. There are, of
f iction, Phantom Sense and Other Stories,
course, limits to this. If you’re writing a f ive-
written in collaboration with fellow Analog
thousand-word short story, you probably
contributor Mark Niemann-Ross was printed
don’t need to write The Silmarillion as back-last summer.

ground. Nor would that be a good use of your

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54

RICHARD A. LOVETT

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Probability Zero

We

Install

Harry Turtledove
o the doorbell rings. So for a wonder it’s

Hey, Debbie!”

twenty minutes before dinner, not dur-

“What?” my wife yells from the kitchen.

ing. So okay, I heave my butt out of the

That’s where the good smells come from.

Srecliner and go to the door.There’s a Twentyminutes till dinnertime,remember?

kind of dweeby-looking guy on my front

“There’s a guy from Superior Solar on the
porch. Khakis. Dark blue polo shirt with a
porch.” When she’s in the kitchen, she can’t
company logo on the left breast. Plastic badge
hardly hear the bell ring. “He says they got
on a lanyard around his neck. Clipboard.

good deals on new solar systems.”

Not likely to be a home-invasion robber.

“Well, talk to him, for crying out loud,” she

Possible, sure, but not likely. So I open the
says. “The one that came with this place is old
door. “Yes?” I say.

as the hills, and it’s a piece of junk.”

“Hi.” He smiles almost like he means it. “My

She’s right, no two ways about it. She is.

name’s Eric.” He holds up his badge. The

That old solar system’s given us nothing but
badge’s name is Eric, anyway.

trouble ever since we moved in here. And

I nod. I say, “And?” I wait.

when she goes talk to him, that means we

“I’m with Superior Solar.” He taps the logo
can finally afford to replace the miserable
on his chest. “We install solar systems, and
thing. Debbie minds the checkbook around
we’re going through your neighborhood now
here. Tell me it’s not like that at your house,
offering some ver y attractive discounts.

pal.

Putting in a new solar system can save you

So okay, I say, “C’mon in, Eric. Let’s talk
some serious money, you know.”

about these deals of yours.”

When I open the door, I expect I’ll listen to

So he spreads his pictures and his price list
his spiel and go We’re not interested, thanks.

out on the dining-room table. And right away

It’s like there’s a tape in my head. A salesman

I see a system I like. It’s got good power, and
comes, I listen to his spiel, I go We’re not inthe price looks okay to me. I call Debbie over
terested, thanks, and I shut the door. Spiel to make sure I’m not getting us in too deep.

runs long, I shut it before he finishes.

She thinks for a minute. Then she says, “Yeah,

Only not today. I turn and I yell, “Debbie!

we can swing that.”

WE INSTALL

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“We will swing that,” I tell Eric. “How soon

“Cool,” I say. “Um, could you take a peek at
can you install it?”

Three? It’s been kinda funny-like for a while.”

“We’ve got a tech crew in the neighbor-

He does, with the strongest lens yet. He’s
hood,” he says. “We’ll start tomorrow morn-
frowning when he looks up. “Hate to tell you,
ing. If it’s a straightforward job, we should be
but I think it’s gone moldy.”

done by late afternoon. Any chance I can get

“I was afraid of that. Now I’m extra glad
up on your roof now so I can see what we’ll
we’re ripping this one out.”

have to do in the replacement process?”

“Yeah, that stuff can be nasty,” Eric agrees.

I ask Debbie a question with my eyebrows.

“Sometimes it even spreads to systems up and

She goes, “I’ll turn supper down.”

down the block.” He writes on his clipboard.

I lean the ladder against the side of the

“Gotta make sure we sterilize it before we re-
house. We both go up there (I check to see
cycle.”

Eric’s insured first). He’s good and careful on

I nod. “Sounds like a plan.” He fiddles
the slope; it’s not like he’s never done this be-
around up there while I get hungrier. So I say,
fore. He steps over the oorts and kuipers out

“You want to have dinner with us? Debbie al-
at the edge (smart—those little bastards’ll
ways makes plenty.”

freeze your ankles off if you give ‘em half a

That gets him moving. “No, thanks,” he
chance) and bends down to take a look at the
says. “Still got more ground to cover today.

power unit in the center of the system.

Let’s go down, shall we?” And we do.

He kinda grunts. “You could do with a new

I stow the ladder in the garage. We go into
one, all right. This one here’s gotta be close to
the house again. Debbie says, “I heard you

5X10E9.”

guys clomping around up there. Everything all

“I told you—this system was in place when
set?”

we bought the house,” I say.

“Sure is,” Eric answers. “Good thing I went

“They don’t usually last past 1X10E10, not
up. Wanderer Three’s got mold on it, and it’ll
ones this size. They blow up on you, make all
need steam cleaning before they can reuse it.”

kinds of trouble. You’re smart to replace while

“Ewww.” Debbie hates gross stuff. She asks,
it’s still kinda working.” Eric takes out a loupe

“No extra charge?” She hates that, too.

and inspects the sixth wanderer. “What hap-

But he says, “Nah—comes with the install.

pened here? What’s up with the ring?”

The crew’ll be here between nine and eleven

“A couple of the outliers smashed together
tomorrow. It’ll be kinda noisy, but not too bad.

a while ago and broke up. Didn’t seem to hurt

Look, here’s my card.” He sets it on the table.

anything much, so I just left it alone.”

“Any trouble at all, call me, hear? Now I’m

“Sloppy workmanship, though. ” Eric
gonna run. Thanks, folks.” And away Eric
switches to another loupe, one with a longer
goes. He’s got more solar systems to sell.

lens. “Same with this grit between Five and

Four. We make ‘em a lot better now, we really
do. You’ll like your new one. It’s clean, man.”

56

HARRY TURTLEDOVE

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THE ALTERNATE VIEW Jeffery D. Kooistra

ISLANDS IN SPACE
o you remember the first time you felt a
a book, a science book, which gave me the
special connection to a favorite author?

same sense of wonder that science fiction sto-

Not just the moment you realized you
ries did. It actually spelled out explicitly how

Dreallyliked what he or she wrote,but we could do this,and provided the rationale.

more than that. Discovering, for instance, that

Well, damn! By the time I’d finished reading it,
not only was she a great writer, but that she

I thought mining and colonizing the asteroids
grew up in your town. Or maybe finding out
was not only possible, but also inevitable. And
that he used to go to the same beach or park
in my lifetime!

as a kid that you enjoy visiting now.

And right there in the pages of Analog I

For me, that sense of special connection
found that this famous writer named Larry
came with the March, 1974 issue of Analog, in Niven had not only read the same book I had,
the fact article “Bigger Than Worlds” by Larry
but took it seriously and used it to help build

Niven. That was the fifth issue of Analog I his own fictional universe. This simply solidi-ever laid my hands on, and in those days I was
fied the case that the asteroids were ours and
fourteen and would read the magazine cover
we would soon have them.

to cover as soon as it hit the mailbox. I had al-

Alas, the future we got was not the one that
ready loved Niven’s “The Hole Man” from the
was supposed to be, but maybe, just maybe, it

January issue, and knew of him from Ring-
still lies ahead of us. There is reason for opti-
world though I had yet to read it. But in that mism, not from some burst of Government
particular article, which discussed possible
sanity, but from the entrepreneurial sector,
large, constructed things for people to live in just like Heinlein thought it would happen.

or on in space, Niven mentioned the book Is-

But more on that later.

lands in Space by Dandridge M. Cole and

For the last ten years I have debated writing

Donald W. Cox. He described it as “a book of
about Islands in Space as another entry in my scientific speculation” and referred to it in the
occasional series on “Forgotten Classic Sci-
context of turning an asteroid into an inside-
ence Books that Every Science Fiction Writer
out world, which humans might inhabit in the

Should Have.” But I could never convince my-
future.

self that every science fiction writer should

I remember thinking at the time that Is-
have it, forgotten and classic as it is. (Unless he lands in Space was an exciting but obscure wants to write about the history of speculative
book I had read “a long time ago,” which
space futurism. Then it’s a must have.)

means I read it when I was eleven or twelve.

The full title is Islands in Space: The Chal-

Looking back on it now I’d probably read it
lenge of the Planetoids. Written by Dandridge twice by the time I came upon Niven’s referM. Cole (who was a Space Program Analyst for
ence to it. My local library was none too big

GE’s Missile and Space Division) and Donald
and Islands in Space was unique for it’s

W. Cox (a writer and lecturer, frequently
time—there was nothing else like it. And
about space issues), it also includes a Fore-
that’s what made it so special. Here was a
word by Willy Ley. Published in 1964, it was
book written in 1964, long before we had
one of the first books I obtained used from an
even landed on the moon, which talked about
online seller back when doing so was just tak-
mining and inhabiting the asteroids. Here was
ing off. I bought it for the same reason I

ISLANDS IN SPACE

57

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picked up used hardcover copies of all the
re-echoed in the SF works that came later.

Heinlein juveniles. Although it wasn’t science

That book spawned the L-5 Society and
fiction, it did everything for me then that the

O’Neill’s own Space Studies Institute, among
best stories of the grandmasters did, setting
others.

my soul on fire for the future that could be.

Unfortunately, despite the serious work put

Much of what you find in the book is what
into space resources and space colony studies
you’d still find in it if it had been written five
by the space activist crowd, lay and profes-
years ago instead of fifty. It is with a mixture of sional, we still have no space colonies. We still
humor and sadness that I wonder if the au-
have no solar power stations beaming juice
thors ever thought that in the second decade
down from the heavens. And the U.S. current-
of the twenty-first century it would remain
ly pays the Russians to take our astronauts to a
necessary to explain to the average person
space station we put up there in the first
what an asteroid is. Randomly ask someone
place!

off the street to define “asteroid” and his brain

But as I alluded to earlier, there is a new
may go into lock. The ones that do manage an
hope that the future so many of us have
answer might get it somewhat correct if they
craved may soon begin in earnest. Back last
don’t go over two sentences. Deeper ques-
spring a company called Planetary Resources
tioning might reveal that he’s picturing a

(http://www.planetaryresources.com) an-
scene from Star Trek or a Star Wars movie.

nounced that it intends to make gobs of mon-

Several chapters pose and then answer
ey by mining the asteroids. Or, as they put it in
questions about why we should claim the as-
their Vision statement: “Planetary Resources is
teroids. Had the vision they set forth been re-
bringing the natural resources of space within
alized one would hope those chapters could
humanity’s economic sphere of influence,
be left out in a new edition. Unfortunately,
propelling our future into the twenty-first cen-
those of us who think of moving into space as
tury and beyond. . . .”

the next logical, even inevitable, step in the

Discussed in detail on their website are all
great drama of human progress, must still deal
those things they want to do and the means
with naysayers who honestly do not under-
by which they expect to achieve them, and I
stand that dollars used on space activities are
recommend that all of you take a look. On the
spent on Earth.

home page you’ll also be given the opportuni-

There is a chapter on tools used for hunting
ty to participate. I personally have agreed to
asteroids. In a modern edition this is a chapter
help spread the word (which isn’t why I
that would need to be greatly expanded and
wrote this particular column although it does
thoroughly updated. We have gained huge
also fit that bill).

amounts of new data on asteroids, now have a

An article with the science-fictional title
far better understanding of what they’re made

“Robots, Platinum, and Tiny Space Tele-
of, and have added hundreds of potential tar-
scopes: The Pitch for Mining Asteroids” was
gets for human visits that were unknown in
published by T he Atlantic last May

1964. We’ve sent probes and taken pictures,

(http://www.theatlantic.com/technology/arc
but one thing we have not discovered is a rea-
hive/2012/05/robots-platinum-and-tiny-
son why Cole and Cox were wrong about go-
space-telescopes-the-pitch-for-mining-aster-
ing there and using them. Indeed, the “land” is
oids/256523/.T812qhL3bnp.email). This is as rich and flowing in milk and honey as they
the mainstream taking the idea very seriously,
claimed, perhaps even more so given our
just as Colliers did back in the 1950s. I provid-ever-increasing need for rare metals.

ed a link to this specific article because I

The reason why this is not a must have
found it unusually well written and highly in-
book is because the visionary outlook the au-
formative about other benefits that may give a
thors brought to this work has since been re-
severely needed boost to the academic space
visited many times by others. In 1976 Gerard
science community.

K. O’Neill published The High Frontier, which The bulk of the piece is an interview with
discussed building colonies in space at great

Sara Seager, Professor of Planetary Science at
length. What he said there was familiar to

MIT (http://seagerexoplanets.mit.edu). About those of us who read SF, and much of it was
the interview, author Ross Andersen says:

58

JEFFERY D. KOOISTRA

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JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2013

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“[This] is my conversation with Seager about
for me by writing the November Alternate
what asteroid mining might do for commer-

View. I do not yet know what he wrote about,
cial space exploration, and what that could
but I hope it gave him the opportunity to dis-
mean for the future of space science.”

cuss an “alternate view” of his own that he

I recommend reading the interview closely
might not have been able to find a home for
as it is well worth your time. The reason for
elsewhere. I also want to thank Stan and the
why this particular academic space scientist is
staff at Analog for being so understanding in working with Planetary Resources she herself
letting me attend to a singularly unpleasant
explains succinctly early in the interview: “But
task.

what got me excited about this project was

You see, my mom died. She went into the
the tie in to the commercial space industry,
hospital on Easter Sunday complaining of diffi-
because I want to help them find a way to
culty breathing. They found fluid in her chest
have a sustainable imprint in space. The bot-
and put in a drain while searching for the
tom line is that NASA is not working the best
cause. The cause turned out to be advanced
that it could for space science right now, and
pancreatic cancer, so advanced that my two
so in order for people like me to succeed with
sisters and I were immediately put in touch
my own research goals, the commercial space
with a hospice care agency.

industry needs to be able to succeed indepen-

Without need to discuss it, my sisters and I
dently of government contracts.”

knew what mom wanted (she was in no con-

Islands in Space discussed manned trips to dition to ask). We took her home to the house
the asteroids in the 1970–80 time period with-
our dad had built for her and nursed her 24/7
out a blush. When we consider the NASA of
for what turned out to be only eleven days.

today (Curiosity rover aside), we’re more like-She slipped away quietly in the wee hours of
ly to hear news not of what to do next, but of

April 25, asleep in her own bed, just the way
what program will be cancelled soon, or nev-
she wanted it. At the funeral, beside the grave,
er funded in the first place. Despite the early
the final minutes were filled with my daughter
successes of large national space programs,

Ashley playing “What A Wonderful World” on
they are no answer to our long-term expan-
her viola, one of her grandmother’s favorite
sion into the final frontier. It’s time to give the songs. I will never be more proud of her than I
profit motive a chance.

was at that moment.

It’s worked before.

Regardless of your religious views, it is a
wonderful world. Death is ugly. Embrace

If you will indulge me for a couple hundred
life.

words, I have a few personal things to say.

I want to thank Rick Lovett for pinch-hitting

The scientific mind does not so much provide the right answers as ask the right questions.

—Claude Lévi-Strauss

The right to do something does not mean that doing it is right.

—William Safire

ISLANDS IN SPACE

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BIOLOG Richard A. Lovett

ROBERT SCHERRER
obert Scherrer fears that compared to
fiction, beginning with The Wonderful Flight
most science fiction writers, his life
to the Mushroom Planet. Later he developed
has been excessively normal. “I read
a taste for Clarke and Asimov. “I’m really a fan

Rother biographies of writers and of idea stories,”he says.But he didn’t think they’ve been on pirate ships or worked for
seriously about writing science fiction until
the CIA [or had other adventurous former ca-
he was thirty-three, when his then girlfriend
reers],” he jokes. “I knew in second grade

(now wife) convinced him to take a two-day
that I wanted to be a scientist and just stuck
seminar taught by multi-Hugo winner Lois
with it for forty-five years.”

McMaster Bujold.

That stick-to-itiveness eventually led him to

Part of the course involved writing an
the field of computational and analytical cos-
opening scene. His was good enough that he
mology and his present job as chair of
decided to finish the story and submit it to
physics and astronomy at Vanderbilt Univer-

Analog. That drew a personalized rejection
sity. “I don’t look through telescopes [or the
complimenting his style. He tried again, but
computerized equivalent],” he says. “I do
this time he got a form letter. “So I figured I
model-building and computer simulations.”

was getting worse and gave up for eight

Some of his work has involved working
years,” he says. “I’m a really good example of
out the details of element production in the
how not to do things.”

early universe. “I [was] a Big Bang nuclear

Luckily, the third story sold. This month’s
physicist,” he says. He’s also written about
is his ninth.

the far future of the universe for Scientific

In the interim, he’s found intriguing simi-

American, authored a textbook called Quan-
larities between writing science fiction and
tum Mechanics: An Accessible Introduction
theoretical physics. In physics, he says, if you

(“if that’s not an oxymoron”), and in 1999,
stay too close to established theory the result
before moving to Vanderbilt, won Ohio State
is boring. Too far out and it gets labeled as

University’s top teaching award. He then
crackpot. “You have to hit the middle,” he
capped that with a 2010 science-communica-
says. “Science fiction is the same. You have
tion award from the American Association of
to extrapolate, but not so far it turns into fan-

Physics Teachers—given not just for class-
tasy.”

room excellence, but for his science fiction

Meanwhile, Scherrer teaches undergradu-
work, particularly what ran in Analog.

ate seminars about science in science fiction,

Scherrer is the rare case of a science-fiction
probes for deeper understanding of the Uni-
writer who got into the field because of a
verse’s mysterious “dark energy,” and finds
childhood interest in science . . . rather than
his life too full for exotic hobbies.

a scientist who found his calling via a child-

“My intriguing hobby is writing science fic-
hood interest in science fiction. “I just read a
tion,” he says.

lot of science books as a kid,” he says.

Not that he didn’t quickly discover science

60

RICHARD A. LOVETT

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Descartes’s

Stepchildren

Robert Scherrer

Might the most important question
sometimes be, “Does it matter?”

hen I give interviews —which I

A carpet of dandelions stretched from the
rarely do anymore—the same ques-
cabin to the creek, broken only by a solitary
tion invariably comes up: “How
birch tree, which cast a lengthening shadow

Wdoes it feel to be the most hated in the late spring twilight.Jennynestled man in the world?” I usually mumble some-close to me under the tree, knitting a tiny
thing about “the integrity of science,” or the
green sweater. She paused to pluck a dande-

“need to pursue knowledge no matter where
lion, giggled, and blew the seeds into my
it leads.” What I never, ever do is to reveal
hair. “Happy anniversary, John.”

the truth.

I looked into her eyes, the eyes of the

I remember exactly how it all began. Well,
woman I truly loved, and gave her a kiss.

that’s actually a lie—like so many other lies

“What do you want to do tomorrow?” I
that I’ve told myself over the years. I’m a
asked.

good enough neuroscientist to know that no-

“Let’s hike up to Clingmans Dome.”

body ever remembers anything exactly as it

“Are you kidding? You’re f ive months
happened, especially something that hap-
along.”

pened nearly twenty years ago. . . .

Jenny patted her stomach. “And still in bet-
ter shape than you.” She dropped her knit-

Jenny and I spent our f irst anniversary in a
ting and stood up. “You don’t hike the
rental cabin— Nearly Heaven—in the Smoky
whole way, silly. You drive most of the way

Mountains, just south of Townsend. Jenny
up, and then walk the last half-mile on a
had fallen in love with the American out-
paved trail. Even a feeble pregnant lady
doors the day she got off the plane from Ire-
could do it. And I’m not feeble. ” Jenny
land. She adored the unruly countryside, the
pulled out her Swiss Army knife and gouged
feeling of endless space—so unlike the well-
a notch in the trunk of the birch tree.

behaved little landscapes of Europe.

“What was that for?”

The yard behind the cabin sloped gently

“I’m marking our f irst anniversary. We’re
down to a burbling creek, where a weath-
going to come back to this same cabin every
ered plank bridge crossed to the other side.

year on our anniversary, and I’ll notch this

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tree.” She gripped the trunk of the tree with
knitting needle. “He would never leave Ly-
one hand and swung in a circle around it,
dia. Didn’t you see them at the Christmas
waving her other hand in the air. “And even-
party? He’s like a puppy dog around her. No
tually, we’ll bring our children, and then our
one else would put up with him, and he
grandchildren, and they’ll all play out here
knows it.”

under our tree.” Jenny let go of the tree and

“Maybe I got it backwards. I don’t know. I
put her hands on her hips. “I think we
don’t really care about Gallagher’s personal
should have at least four children.”

life right now. I’m more worried about the

“Okay.”

project.”

“Or maybe f ive.”

“If you ask me, you’ve obviously stumbled

“Okay.”

onto some great discover y, and now he

“Or maybe twenty-seven.”

wants to claim all the credit for himself.” Jen-

“Okay.”

ny f inished a row of the sweater and set

She rapped the top of my head with her
down her knitting. “Which project was it,
knuckles. “Whoa, is anybody in there? Are
anyway?”

you even listening?”

“Don’t you remember? You were a volun-

“Ow, yes, I was listening.”

teer.”

“You were not. You had that far-off, I’m-re-

Jenny tapped her forehead. “I do remem-
ally-thinking-of-something-else look in your
ber that. Fifty dollars for half an hour of
eyes.” Jenny sat down next to me and picked
work. Not too shabby.” She chuckled. “But
up her knitting. “What’s the problem, John?”

all I can remember is sticking my head into

“Sorry, I was just worrying about work—
an enormous tube and looking into a mirror.

that project with Gallagher on the 15 Tesla

And then we had to recite some weird sen-

MRI. We made a breakthrough about a
tences. ‘I think, therefore I am.’ That’s the
month ago, and now Gallagher wants to shut
only one I can remember.”

it down. He won’t tell me why.”

“All the sentences were supposed to be

“That’s just like Gallagher—shut down the
self-referential. We were trying to understand
project and then publish the results himself,”

the nature of consciousness. Why are we
said Jenny. “I always told you to stay away
self-aware? Where does it originate in the
from him.” Her Irish accent got stronger
brain?”

whenever she was angry. “You neuroscien-

“I do remember the mirror was kind of
tists. You’re so male. You think you know
dirty. You need to clean your equipment bet-
everything there is to know about the hu-
ter.” Jenny brushed a wayward strand of
man brain, but you don’t know anything
auburn hair back from her eyes. “So what did
about people. If you lie down with pigs, you you f ind out from the experiment?”

get made into bacon.”

“It’s amazing, really. I think we’ve been

“But Gallagher is a great scientist,” I said,
able to pinpoint the locus of consciousness

“a pioneer in his f ield —a real genius —a
in the brain. But I only got a chance to see a
true—”

couple of the brain scans before Gallagher

“Asshole,” she said. She wrote the word in
slammed the lid shut.”

the air with her knitting needle. “A-s-s-h-o-l-e.

At that moment Jenny began to hemor-

I’ve seen how he treats his students—how
rhage, and I forgot all about the experiment.

he treats you. The man has no respect for
anyone’s God-given dignity.”

The only sound in the recovery room was

“Michael doesn’t believe in God.”

the steady beeping of the pulse monitor. I

“Oh, he does too believe in God. But his
held Jenny’s hand as she opened her eyes.

God is named Michael T. Gallagher.” Jenny

“John, where . . .” She tried to twist in the
turned over the sweater to inspect one of the
bed, but the spiderweb of catheters and
stitches. “It’s no wonder Lydia f inally left
tubes held her in place like a f ly.

him.”

I looked into her eyes. “Jenny, you almost

“I heard that he was the one who left.”

bled out. They had to do a hysterectomy.”

“You must be remembering it backwards,

Jenny lifted her head, looking around the
dear.” She poked me in the ribs with the
room. “No,” she said. “What about the—”

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I didn’t answer. I didn’t have to. She could

“I’m not drunk. Just tired.” Gallagher lifted
see the answer in my eyes.

the folder of papers from his desk. “Now

“Was it a boy or a—”

please leave my off ice.”

“A little girl. Too little. Too soon.”

I hesitated, then took a step back. “I

Jenny let her head sink back into the pil-
looked at the data, Michael. At least some of
low. “Katie,” she whispered. “We would
it—scans of your brain and mine. It’s mar-
have named her Katie.” She closed her eyes.

velous!”

“She would have been smart as a whip—

“Marvelous? It is marvelous.” Gallagher
grown up to work in your lab, I bet.”

waved the folder of papers in the air. “Here’s

My friends in physics tell me that every
the full report on the experiment. It’s a ticket
measurement, every decision splits the uni-
into the National Academy of Sciences for
verse into a myriad of possibilities, like the
sure—maybe even a Nobel Prize for both of
branches of a tree. At that moment I watched
us, if we decide to publish.” Gallagher tossed
as most of our branches —the sound of
the folder back onto his desk. “The only
laughter on a Christmas morning, the f irst
problem, my friend, is that we can’t publish
day of kindergar ten, children gathered
it.”

around a dinner table—withered and disap-

“Huh?”

peared.

Gallagher wagged a f inger at me. “Tell me

I leaned over the bed and tried awkwardly
honestly, John, what do you think of me?”

to reach around the tubes to hug Jenny. “No

“Well, you’re a great scientist—maybe the
matter what happens,” I said, “I will love
best in the department.”

you.”

“You think I’m an unscrupulous bastard,
out to steal your work.”

Another month passed before I tried to

“No, I—”

track down Gallagher. His secretar y was

“Don’t deny it. I am an unscrupulous bas-
gone when I showed up—probably out to
tard. It’s served me well my entire career. I’m
lunch. Gallagher’s off ice door was ajar, and
not making any apologies. ” Galla gher
cold f luorescent light f lickered through the
slammed his f ist on the desk. “But I never
opening. I knocked. No answer, so I pushed
planned to steal your work. I would never
the door open and went in.

stoop that low. This project, it’s just—”

The off ice stank of whiskey and stale vom-

“It’s a fantastic discovery! What could be
it. I found Gallagher slumped back in his
more marvelous than an objective measure
chair, staring at a manila folder of technical
of consciousness? We could do animals next,
reports on his desk. An overturned bottle of
maybe some of the great apes—”

Jack Daniels lay next to the reports, drizzling

“Stop. ” Galla gher coughed —almost
amber rivulets onto the desk.

seemed to choke. “You only saw part of the

“Michael, what’s going on?” I asked. I
data.” He slid his chair over to his computer
reached for the bottle, but it slipped from my
and pecked at the keyboard. A gray brain
hands and bounced on the carpet, splashing
slice f illed the screen. “Your brain, John.

whiskey in all directions.

Now we apply the self-referential stimulus.”

Gallagher looked up at me with dead eyes.

A bright red spot f lared in the left prefrontal

“John,” he muttered. “Go away.”

lobe.

“You can’t shut down the project. Not

“Exactly! It’s amazing. We’ve discovered
now.”

the locus of consciousness in the brain.”

Gallagher coughed, then said in a hoarse

Gallagher said nothing. He pulled up an-
whisper, “I looked into her eyes, and I saw . . .”

other scan. “My brain.” He punched a key.

Phlegm rattled in his throat.

Again, the prefrontal lobe activated. Gal-

“What are you talking about?”

lagher pulled up a third scan and hit the key

Gallagher raised a hand toward his face
again. Nothing.

and swatted an invisible f ly. “It was nothing.”

“What’s that?” I asked. “I don’t get it.”

He closed his eyes.

“Not everyone shows activity—evidence

I grabbed his shoulders and shook him,
of consciousness.”

and his eyes popped open. “Idiot,” he said,

I bit my lower lip, trying to understand

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what he meant. “That’s not possible. Every-
whose brain—”

one is conscious.”

“That’s Lydia, John. My wife.” Gallagher

“Everyone, John?” Gallagher arched an
stared past me. “I lay in bed next to her,
eyebrow. “How can you be so sure? There’s a
looked into her eyes, and I saw nothing
computer up at Car negie-Mellon that’s
there. The woman I loved—probably the
passed the Turing test. I’ve seen the damn
only person I ever really loved—a vacant
thing myself. It’ll swear up and down that it’s
shell, pretending to be a human being.”

a conscious individual. But it’s still only a ma-

I suppose I should have tried to comfort
chine—there’s nobody really there. So appar-
him or something. Jenny would have known
ently the same thing is true of people—some
what to do. But I just stood there staring at
of us really are conscious, but some are just
him. After a few minutes I said, “Look,
machines—shells—zombies.”

Michael, maybe we could hold on to the

I slapped Gallagher’s desk, knocking a few
data, publish when mankind is, uh, ready to
papers onto the f loor. “Ridiculous! Don’t you
accept this.”

think we could tell if there were zombies

“Bullshit. Mankind is never going to be
among us?”

ready for this. ” Gallagher picked up the mani-

“No. That’s the whole point. Conscious-
la folder from his desk and thrust it at my
ness doesn’t produce any difference in exter-
chest. “Take a look at the report, John. Jen-
nal behavior. That’s why you can’t prove that ny’s in there, too. Why don’t you take a peek
anyone is conscious except yourself. Cogito,
at it, see if she’s really who you think she is?

ergo sum, eh? You just presume everyone

Or maybe she’s just an empty shell, too.”

else experiences reality the same way that

I f linched backward.

you do, without objective proof. You believe

“What’s wrong, John, don’t you want to
it because it seems reasonable. You assume it
know?” Gallagher smiled crookedly. “Do you
because the alternative seems unthinkable.

still want to publish? Now that you know

But ‘presume’ and ‘believe’ and ‘assume’

what’s at stake for everyone on the planet?”

aren’t part of the vocabulary of science, are

He pushed the manila folder into my hand.

they, John?”

I began to tremble, and papers fell from

“But it makes no sense —what would
the folder onto the f loor. I looked away, not
cause some people to lack self-awareness?”

wanting to see what was printed on them.

Gallagher stood and began pacing the

“I’ll do you a favor, John, maybe the only
room, drifting into pedantic professor mode.

nice thing I’ve ever done for you.” Gallagher

“I think you’re asking the question back-
bent to retrieve the papers. “Your wife is per-
wards, John. Consciousness isn’t favored by
fectly normal. As conscious as you or me.

evolution—self-awareness doesn’t confer any

Congratulations. Unlike me, your life is not
survival advantage. I think our ancestors
destroyed.” I realized then that tears were
probably started out without it. Maybe con-
streaming down my cheeks.

sciousness arose as some freak mutation a

Gallagher sank into his chair and stared
hundred thousand year s a go, and then
into space. “This was the dream of my life—
spread through the population. But you
a great discovery, everlasting fame, a trip to
couldn’t tell who truly possessed conscious-

Stockholm. And I’m going to give it all up.”

ness. Until now.”

He pointed at the manila folder. “For me, this

I stared at the computer screen. “But how
project is f inished. You do what you think is
many of our subjects were, uh . . .”

right. But don’t dig too deeply. You might

“Non-conscious individuals? We did seven-
not like what you f ind.”

ty-one scans, and fourteen showed no re-
sponse to the stimulus. That’s almost 20

I sat on the data for almost a year. Gal-
percent of the sample.” Gallagher lowered
lagher, for all his faults, was no fool. But sure-
his voice almost to a whisper. “Think about
ly there could be no harm in pursuing the
it, John. One f ifth of the people on the plan-
truth, no matter where it led. And wasn’t
et—they’re empty biological machines.”

that my duty as a scientist? I f inally men-

I was speechless for a moment, trying to
tioned it to Jenny as we sat under the birch
take it all in. I pointed at the screen. “And
tree, just after she had car ved a second

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notch.

failure is contagious. I parked myself by the

“I don’t know, John,” she said, shaking her
donut car t and bur ied my sor rows in a
head, “this just doesn’t seem right to me. It’s
mound of fried fat and sugar. I was biting
got a bad smell to it.”

into my third vanilla cruller when I heard a

“But it’s what scientists do, Jenny. We pur-
voice above the general murmur.

sue the truth. We can’t suddenly decide that

“—have a colonoscopy?”

there are ‘things man was never meant to

“Huh?” I said.

know.’ That’s like the plot from a bad movie.

“—dental surgery?” Then I noticed the

Don’t you remember, ‘you will know the
speaker, a gaunt man in a black turtleneck
truth, and the truth will make you free’?”

and black trousers. He slipped into the emp-

Jenny rolled her eyes. “Don’t start quoting
ty bubble surrounding me and handed me
the Bible at me, John Benson. ‘Then your
his business card.

eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods,

“Dr. Lee,” he said, “Tsinghua University,
knowing good and evil.’ Are you really doing

Beijing. I work in psychopharmacology.”

this for the sake of the truth, or do you just

“That’s odd, you don’t look—”

want the glory of a great discovery? Because

“Chinese? I’m not. Look at my card.”

if it’s the glory you’re after, you might f ind

I read his name from the business card:

it’s not all you expected. Success is rarely all

“Professor Robert E. Lee.”

that you thought it would be.”

Lee grinned, showing nicotine-stained

I laughed. “But unfortunately, failure is ex-
teeth. “I grew up in Virginia—I’m part of the
actly what you thought it would be. I’m not
reverse brain-drain. The Chinese hired me
in it for the fame. Really, I’m not.”

away from the University of Kansas f ive years

“Look,” said Jenny, “I’ll still love you no
ago —doubled my salar y, tripled my lab
matter what you decide, but be careful.

space. You wouldn’t believe how much mon-

Don’t do something you’ll regret later. Think
ey they’re pouring into my f ield. In another
about what you’re doing—about why you’re
decade, they’re going to own pharmacolo-
doing it.”

gy.” He pulled out a pack of Camels and

For the next few days I pretended that I
shook out a cigarette.

was thinking things over, but in my heart I

“Hey, you can’t smoke in here!”

had already decided. I wrote up the paper

“Sorry, I forgot.” Lee slipped the cigarette
and sent it off to Nature. I told myself that I into his pocket. “And people say the Chinese
was doing it for the sake of science —
government is repressive. At least they let me
mankind deserved to know the truth. And
smoke wherever I want. Let’s go out onto
surely Gallagher had been too distraught to
the balcony.”

think clearly. Is there a part of the brain that

I followed him out the door into the moist
activates whenever we lie to ourselves? If so,
cocoon of the Houston summer. Diesel
it must light up pretty often.

fumes drifted up from a truck stuck in traff ic

Two weeks after the paper appeared in
on the street below. Lee lit his cigarette and

Nature, Michael Gallagher took his own life.

blew a cloud of smoke toward the door.

“Those people in there,” he said, “they’re id-

The Annual Meeting of the Organization
iots. You’re a genius, and none of them real-
for Human Brain Mapping took place later
izes it.”

that summer in Houston, and I was invited to

“Really? I’m starting to have doubts my-
give a plenary talk. I was expecting a corona-
self.”

tion. What I got was a crucif ixion. “. . . poor-

“Well, don’t. I’m working on the same
ly substantiated claims for a locus of
problem in my lab, but from a different per-
consciousness . . .” “. . . a philosophical con-
spective. I was asking if you’ve ever had a
jecture based on extraordinarily thin evi-
colonoscopy, or dental surgery, anything in-
dence . . .” “. . . more like phrenology than
volving sedation. Have you?”

neuroscience . . .” And those were the com-

I shook my head. “Nope. No colonoscopy,
ments from my friends.

no dental surger y. Wait, that’s not quite

As I left the conference room, I noticed
true—I did have my wisdom teeth out, but
my colleagues keeping a discreet distance—
that was a long time ago.”

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“Well, then you probably had Versed—it’s

“Behold midazolam-C,” said Lee, “the key to
the brand name of midazolam—amazing lit-
your vindication.” Lee opened one bottle
tle drug. Knocks you goony, but you can still
and shook out a pair of pea-green pills onto
respond to requests, obey simple directions,
his palm. “I’m going to take a dose large
that sort of thing. But then you wake up and
enough to induce a waking loss of con-
forget everything that happened.”

sciousness. I want you to monitor my behav-

“What does that have to do with my re-
ior and check the MRI simultaneously. Then
search?”

you can try it yourself.”

“Nothing, actually.” Lee sucked on his cig-

I eyed the pills. “Are you sure it’s—-”

arette and blew a streamer of smoke in my di-

“Safe?” Lee popped two of the pills into his
rection. “But we’ve developed a new variant,
mouth and gulped them down. “Safer than
midazolam-C. From the outside, it appears to
aspirin. We tested it on several hundred Chi-
have no effect on behavior—I could be un-
nese volunteers. No short-term side effects.

der the inf luence of midazolam-C right now,

No long-term effects, either. Amazing drug.”

and you would never know it. But I would

I slid Lee’s head into the 15 Tesla MRI and
know it. It slowly reduces the level of subjec-
went back out to the control room to pull up
tive consciousness, until it’s snuffed out en-
a view of his brain on the screen. The locus
tirely. We can generate a condition,
of consciousness burned bright red on his
pharmacologically, that exactly mimics the
prefrontal lobe. “No effect,” I said into the
zombie state that you were talking about
speaker-phone connected to the MRI cham-
back in there.” Lee took another puff on his
ber. “Nothing.”

cigarette. “But we don’t have a good enough

“Don’t lose faith, my friend. It takes a

MRI to pick out what’s happening in the
while for the effect to kick in. I can already
brain—that’s where you come in.”

start to feel it. Just make sure to keep me

“You want brain scans of subjects under
talking.”

the inf luence of your drug?”

“Why”

“Exactly. I brought a supply of midazolam-

“You’ll see. Tell me something about your-

C with me to the conference, and I can be in
self. Who is your favorite philosopher?”

Nashville next week. Can we do this?”

“Philosopher? I never studied philoso-

I looked at my colleagues milling around
phy—waste of time.”

like cattle outside the conference room. Ig-

“A pity.” Lee sighed. “I was a philosophy
norant fools. What an amazing chance to
major in college. It teaches you things you
show them all how wrong they were. “Ab-
can never lear n from science. Take
solutely,” I said. “I’ll make the arrangements.

Descartes, for example. A brilliant man—

I can have everything set up by next Thurs-
completely right, of course—all we can ever
day.”

know for sure is what goes on inside our

“And one other thing,” said Lee. “What
own heads.” The glowing red spot on Lee’s
would it take to move you to Tsinghua? I
brain faded to a sickly pink. “And Machiavel-
could get you an excellent position.”

li—he really wasn’t as bad as ever yone

“Oh, Jenny and I like it just f ine in
thinks—just ahead of his time.” The pink

Nashville. I’m not really movable.”

spot faded away, but Lee kept talking as

“Come on,” said Lee, “everybody has a
though nothing had happened. “He realized
price.” He f licked an ash from his cigarette
that necessity has to triumph over abstract
over the balcony onto the street below. “And
moral principles if you ever want to accom-
in most cases it’s surprisingly low.”

plish anything.”

“How does it feel?” I asked.

I cleared out my schedule for a week—

“How does what feel?”

easy to do over the summer—and brought

“The loss of consciousness. You’re not reg-

Lee in on Thursday, as promised. He set a
istering anything on the MRI.”

small leather briefcase on the lab bench and

“I’m not? Well, I’ve guess we’ve proven
popped it open. Three brown plastic medi-
our point, eh?”

cine bottles covered in Chinese characters

“But what does it feel like?”

nestled in foam rubber inside the briefcase.

“Feel like? What do you mean? I feel f ine.

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How do you feel?”

answering automatically, only half thinking

I sagged into my chair, confused and frus-
about what I was saying. “No, I didn’t like
trated. A few minutes later, Lee’s prefrontal
the two sequels.” Then I seemed to be crawl-
lobe began to glow again, and I powered
ing back into a corner of my own mind—not
down the MRI. Lee pushed through the door
really an out-of-body experience—more like
and reviewed the computer record. “Excel-
dream in which I was both a participant and
lent, my friend,” he said.

a spectator. My answers to Lee’s questions

“But I don’t get it. Nothing changed when
became automatic, without volition. “Citizen
the drug took effect.”

Kane? I saw it once in college. I never under-

“Of course nothing changed. You’ve al-
stood the appeal.” Who was this person talk-
ready postulated that yourself—there’s no
ing to Lee? “I loved Casablanca, but none of external difference in behavior.”

the other Bogart movies.” Whoever was do-

“But no one is going to believe this.”

ing the talking seemed to share all of my

“On the contrary, everyone is going to be-
opinions. Then f inally, blackness and obliv-
lieve it . . . after they experience it them-
ion.

selves. ”

He dangled the bottle of

When I came to, Lee showed me the
midazolam-C between two of his f ingers,
video. I recalled the discussion of my favorite
shaking it gently and rattling the pills inside.

movies, but I had apparently followed this

“No need for you to go into the MRI—we
with a full ten-minute lecture giving him a
know now that the effect of the drug corre-
detailed explanation of the quantum me-
lates with the consciousness center. But try it
chanics behind magnetic resonance imaging.

yourself, see what it feels like.” He held the

At one point I had even wr itten on the
bottle up to my face. “Just two little pills.”

whiteboard the Hamiltonian for a proton in

I backed away, nearly tripping over the
an oscillating magnetic f ield.

swivel chair and grabbing the corner of the

I shook my head. “I don’t remember any of
desk to steady myself.

this.”

“John,” said Lee, “I told you it was safe.

“No reason you should. This happened af-

Three hundred Chinese prisoners couldn’t
ter the drug took full effect. You weren’t
be wrong. How else are you going to vindi-
conscious, at least not as we understand it.”

cate yourself, and prove that your critics are

“Conscious enough to give you a quantum
morons?”

mechanics lecture!”

“I’ve got Jenny to think about.”

“Of course. This is exactly what the . . .

“And you can’t do her any good if your ca-
what should we call them, the people who
reer is a shambles.” Lee stretched his arms
have no center for consciousness? Not zom-
wide. “Look at me. See any side effects?”

bies, surely. How about Blanks? This is exact-

I looked at Lee’s smiling face, and then at
ly what the Blanks experience. Or rather,
the bottle. I nodded silently and Lee shook
what the y don’t exper ience. The y go
out two of the pills into my hand. Then he
through life behaving just like you or me,
reached into his pocket and took out a small
but”—he tapped his forehead—“there’s a big
camera.

gaping hole where their self-awareness

“What’s that?”

should be. And you just lived through it your-

“It’s called a video camera.” Lee chuckled.

self.”

“They’re all the rage in China now.”

I looked down at the f loor.

“I know that! I mean why are you making a

“Why so glum, John? Once we publish the
video?”

midazolam-C results, no one will be able to

“Because otherwise you’ll never believe.”

contradict you. Hell, they can experience it

I gulped down the pills and chased them
themselves if they want.”

with a glass of water. Lee began prodding me

“I guess I was half hoping to be proved
for my opinions on classic movies. At f irst, I
wrong. It’s just that—”

simply felt distracted, preoccupied, like the

“John, we’re scientists, remember? Fear-
times I’ve tried to talk to Jenny with my mind
less seekers of the truth. It’s really quite hero-
on something else. “Yes, the f irst Godfather
ic of us.” Lee pulled out an E-tablet and
movie is one of my favorites.” I found myself
began scrolling through the screens.

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“What are you doing?”

“He’s not a friend—he’s a collaborator—a

“Clearing my December schedule for the
former collaborator.”

next few years. You’ll want to do the same.”

“A collaborator.” Jenny rolled the word

“Why?”

around in her mouth, tasting every syllable.

“December is when they give out the No-

“Yes, that’s the right word for it. Didn’t you
bel Prizes.”

see the news last week? Lee discovered that
a massive dose of midazolam-C, something

Contrary to popular belief, sharing a Nobel
like ten thousand times the normal dose, per-

Prize doesn’t make you rich. After taxes, it
manently wipes out the center of conscious-
was barely enough to buy Nearly Heaven
ness. The Chinese have adopted it as a
and a couple acres of the surrounding land.

‘humane’ alternative to capital punishment.”

But developing a simple version of our MRI

“But I thought you didn’t believe any of
test for consciousness—something so cheap
this was real.”

and easy that it could be installed in every

Jenny stood up and hugged me from be-
doctor’s off ice in the countr y—that did
hind. “I’m your wife, John. I reserve the right
make me rich.

to contradict myself. Maybe it is real, I don’t

I rubbed my thumb over the f ive notches
know. But I just don’t like the way this is go-
in our birch tree—Jenny had carefully carved
ing.” Jenny let go of me and studied the pen-
them in the shape of a pentagon. The tem-
tagon carved into the tree. “Oh, they sent us
perature was unusually warm for a May
the forms from the adoption agency yester-
evening in Tennessee—somewhere in the
day.”

80s—but under our tree it felt frosty cold.

“Good. What do they need from us?”

Jenny sat back against the tree and snapped

“It’s all pretty standard. Proof of stable em-
open her copy of Ladies’ Home Journal. She
ployment, some outside letters testifying to
slapped the page with the back of her hand.

our good character, routine genetic screen-

“Look at this article. ‘Would You Want to
ing. I made an appointment with Dr. Kile for

Marry a Blank?’ Now a bunch of states are re-
both of us.”

quiring the Benson Test before they issue
marriage licenses. They call it ‘informed con-

Dr. Kile’s examination room displayed the
sent.’ What have you done, John?”

full range of his family practice: cartoon gi-

What had I done? Never mind that the
raffes and elephants cavorted on the wall be-

Blanks all insisted that they were perfectly
hind brochures on hypertension and heart
normal, perfectly conscious, just as human
disease. I noticed a small stack of brochures
as the rest of us. After all, hadn’t I predicted
nestled under a baby elephant in the corner:

exactly this behavior?

“The Benson Test for Children.” Tissue paper

Jenny dropped the magazine in her lap.

bunched and crackled as I helped Jenny slide

“And now parents are starting to test their
down from the examination table, while Kile
own children. Children! Can you believe it?

studied his med-pad.

And I’m not even sure I buy all of this stuff

“How many parents have their kids test-
about Blanks not having consciousness. You
ed?” I asked.

said your self it’s just blood f low in the

Kile looked up. “Tested? Oh, you mean the
brain.”

Benson Test.” Kile glanced over his shoulder

“We’re working on a better test,” I said.

at the brochures. “When I f irst started offer-

“We’re trying to map the neural pathways di-
ing it last year, very few,” he said. “Now it’s
rectly. But it’s going to take a while. And
about two thirds. Most parents want to know
what about midazolam-C?”

if their child is a Blank.”

“A cheap parlor trick. Am I any less human

“And what do they do if it is a Blank?”

when I’m asleep? Does that make me any
asked Jenny.

less of a person?”

Dr. Kyle shrugged. “We refer them for

“No, but—”

counseling. I have a few pamphlets.” Dr. Kile

“And that abominable friend of yours,
squinted at his med-pad. “But let’s get to

Robert Lee, do you know what he’s been up
your results. And I have to say the news is
to?”

mostly good.” There was an awkward si-

68

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lence, while we waited for the “mostly
have you got there?” I asked.

good”.

“Oh, these are the books I brought—the

Kile nodded toward me. “Professor Ben-
kids love it when I read to them.” She shuf-
son, you’ve got a marginal predisposition to-
f led the books to show me each one. “I’ve
ward atrial f ibrillation—probably nothing to
got One Fish, Two Fish, and Mr. Pine’s Mixed-worry about until you’re a lot older. And you

Up Signs, and then for the older kids I
actually have a slight resistance to digestive
brought On the Banks of Plum Creek—I’m
system cancers—colon, stomach, pancreas.

reading them one chapter every week. The

Nothing else out of the ordinary.”

kids are so cute. I can’t believe their parents

Kile tapped his med-pad and turned to Jen-
would just abandon them.”

ny. “And Mrs. Benson, you’ve got a marker

They must’ve opened another checkpoint,
for increased HDL levels—but we knew that
because traff ic starting sliding forward. We
already from your cholesterol test. That’s a
pulled up to a small br ick guardhouse,
good thing, of course. But there is one is-
where a pudgy federal agent greeted us. “I
sue—you do have some markers that predis-
need your papers, please.” I handed him our
pose to early-onset Alzheimer’s.”

documents, which he scanned under a UV

I hugged Jenny, who began to cry.

light and returned. “Don’t lose those, or

“No, no,” said Dr. Kile, “it’s a very small
you’ll have a heck of a time getting back
lifetime risk. Certainly less than 20 percent.

out.”

Maybe even less than 10 percent.”

“We do this every week,” said Jenny. “I

“That’s not the point,” I said. “We had
think we’ll manage.” The agent scowled at
been hoping to adopt a child, and this is—”

Jenny, but he waved us through.

“A disqualif ication,” said Jenny, choking

“Good rule of thumb—don’t provoke the
back a sob. “No adoption agency would
government agents,” I said as we pulled past
place a child with us now.”

the checkpoint, “especially when they carry

“I’m sorry,” Kile said. “I am so very sorry.”

guns.”

He handed Jenny a Kleenex. “There’s a bit

Jenny craned her neck to get a f inal view
more to the report.”

of the guardhouse. “Guns? Don’t you think

“That won’t be necessary,” I said, helping
they’re overdoing it a bit?”

Jenny to her feet. “Thank you, Dr. Kile.”

“You know it’s for the protection of the

When I was young, I thought that life’s
people who live here, Jenny.”

tragedies were like lightning: terrible when

Jenny snorted.

they struck, but rare and easily avoided if one

“Hey,” I said, “nobody is forced to stay
were careful enough. I know now that
here.”

tragedy is as unavoidable as a gentle spring

“No,” said Jenny, “but they can’t get jobs,
rain. Sooner or later, everyone gets wet.

because nobody wants to hire them, and
then they can’t get money from the govern-

The sun was just starting to burn off the
ment unless they live here. It’s all a bunch of
morning fog from the Cumberland River
hogwash. And did you hear what happened
when I drove Jenny to the Happy Hearts Or-
to your friend Lee?”

phanage for her Saturday-morning visit. It

“He’s not my friend.”

was our eleventh anniversary, but Jenny re-

“The Chinese government caught him em-
fused to go to Nearly Heaven until after she bezzling research funds, so they gave him a
had visited the orphanage. We exited off of
dose of his own medicine.”

Briley Parkway and pulled onto the entrance

“That’s not funny, Jenny.”

road to Blanktown. A sign hanging on the

“I didn’t say it was.”

chain-link fence in front of an abandoned

We drove down a clean white concrete
airstrip announced, “You are now entering
lane. Exuberant patches of yellow marigolds
the Cockrill Bend Federal Protection Zone.

and maroon petunias bloomed in red clay

Please have your papers ready.” The road
pots on either side. A green soccer f ield
was totally clogged up, so I put the car in
stretched out on the left side of the road,
park and turned to look at Jenny. She was
with shops lining the right. As we passed a
sorting a stack of books in her lap. “What
bakery, I lowered my window and took a

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deep breath of the warm spring air, f illed

“Who are you, and what the hell do you
with the yeasty scent of bread and the odor
want?” I asked.

of freshly-mowed grass.

“They’re after me,” he said. “They’ve got

“This isn’t so bad,” I said. “It’s sort of like a
baseball bats.”

gated community.”

I heard footsteps thumping down the hall.

“But the gate locks from the outside,” said

More from ref lex than conscious thought, I

Jenny. She put her hand on my shoulder.

pushed the man into the supply closet in the

“Couldn’t we adopt one of the kids? They
back of the lab where we stored our surplus
can leave the orphanage if someone will
electronics. Following him in, I pulled the
adopt them.”

door shut, forgetting that it locked from the

I glanced over at Jenny. “We’ve been
outside. “Jenny, get back here and let me
through this before. You know what I think.

out,” I yelled through the wire mesh window

It would just feel weird living with a Blank. It
in the door.

would feel like living with a robot.”

Jenny started back toward the supply clos-

“Love isn’t a feeling,” said Jenny. “It’s
et, but then stopped when a crowd of stu-
something you choose to do.”

dents appeared at the door. They were better

We pulled up to the gray cinder-block or-
dressed than your usual mob—a sea of
phanage—a bit sterile, but certainly not run-
khakis and striped polo shirts—but a few of
down. A cardboard rainbow arched over the
them did have baseball bats.

front door, and orange-yellow block letters

Jenny drew herself up to her full f ive foot,
above the rainbow proclaimed that “ALL
two inch height. “What do you want here?

CHILDREN ARE LOVED AT HAPPY

This is my husband’s lab.”

HEARTS!”

“We chased a Blank down the hallway,”

“Last week,” said Jenny, “there was this lit-
said a man in the front of the crowd. “He ran
tle boy with curly red hair—maybe seven
into one of these rooms.”

years old. I tried to read him The Phantom

“Sorry, you can’t come in here,” said Jen-

Tollbooth, but he kept crying and asking
ny. “There’s lots of delicate equipment.”

when his mommy was coming back to get

“Oh, we won’t stay long.” The man leaned
him.” Jenny opened the door to get out. “Tell
forward, brushing against Jenny.

me something,

John—if I did get

She whipped a shiny metal cylinder from

Alzheimer’s, would you abandon me? Maybe
the lab bench and brandished it against his
marry somebody else?”

stomach. “Listen, young man,” she said, “this

“Of course not!”

is a vial of cobalt-97. If I pull off this lead

“But I would be even less conscious than a
plug, you’ll be lucky to have children with

Blank. Why would you stay with me?”

only three eyes.”

I had no answer for her.

The student looked down at the cylinder,
and back up at Jenny. He said nothing for a

Thirteen notches on the tree. Jenny made
few seconds, then took a step backward.

a point of dropping by my lab for lunch on

“Come on, guys,” he said, “let’s check out

Fridays — she said that by the end of the
the rest of the rooms on this hall.”

week it was always too depressing to be

Jenny closed and bolted the front door of
home alone. She waited while I put one of
the lab, and then came back to unlock the
the SQUIDS through its paces. “Are you start-
closet door. I emerged and took the metal
ing a new experiment, John?” she asked.

cylinder from Jenny’s hands. “Jenny, this is

“Later this year. We’ll be tracing single
my thermos,” I said. I shook it, and liquid
neural pathways. We’re years away from
sloshed inside. “It’s full of coffee. And there’s
mapping anything functional. But eventually,
no such thing as cobalt-97.”

we should be able to—” I was interrupted by

Jenny gave a little half-smile. “I knew that.

a pounding on the door. I yanked it open,

But they didn’t know that.”

and a disheveled young man pushed his way

I shook my head. “No one can bullshit like
inside. He stank of urine and looked badly in
the Irish.”

need of a bath.

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“Help me,” he said. “Can you please help?”

“It was.”

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The Blank was shaking, and damp with

“No need to say anything,” I said. “We can
sweat. “Here, sit down,” I said. “I’ll call secu-
get a good reading from your resting brain. It
rity. They’ll take you somewhere safe.” I gave
takes only a few seconds.” I studied the bank
him a cup of water, which he slurped down.

of screens above our data port. “Okay,” I

After the man was escorted away, Jenny
said, “all done.” Jenny took off the helmet
confronted me. “Why did you help that guy?”

and smoothed back her hair.

“Well, he needed help. He was scared to

I scrolled through the readout on the data
death.”

port. “Jenny, you were the f inal scan—f ifty

“But you don’t think the Blanks are really

Blanks and f ifty Normals. Now I can let the
aware. You’re always comparing them to
computer go at it.”

computers. You don’t care if someone turns

“Can I stay and watch?”

off a computer, do you?”

“Don’t waste your time—it’s going to take

What could I say? The spasm of violence
a while. If you go home, I’ll call you as soon
against the Blanks swept the world for sever-
as I have the results.”

al weeks, then died away, as though it had

“Okay, John, but call right away when you
burned itself out.

get the answer.” Jenny walked to the door
and turned her head. “Right away.” I heard

Seventeen notches on the birch tree.

the tap-tap of her footsteps fading down the

“So where are the squids?” asked Jenny,
hall.

stepping into my lab. “I don’t even see any

I sat down in front of the wall screen and
aquariums.”

began issuing commands. “Bring up subject

“Not squids, Jenny, SQUIDS,” I said. “Su-
number one, and begin tracing neural net-
perconducting quantum interference de-
work.”

vices. They measure the magnetic f ield from

“Subject number one,” announced the
the currents in your brain.” I patted a golden
computer, “John C. Benson.” The screen
metal helmet hanging from a thick steel bar.

f illed with a gossamer network of quivering

“They’re all mounted right inside this scan-
lights, glowing and fading as electrochemical
ner.” A tangled rat’s nest of cables ran from
signals pulsed through the neurons. Even our
the helmet to our data port. I pointed to a
massively-parallel quantum computer would
chair underneath the helmet. “If you sit right
take several minutes to complete the analy-
here, I’ll put the scanner on your head.”

sis.

Jenny eyed the helmet. “My goodness,”

I remembered an Asimov book I had read
she said, “that looks like a hair-dryer from
as a kid: something like The Brain or The the 1950s. Sorry I’m not wearing curlers.”

Human Brain. At the end of the book, Asi-

Then she looked at me. “John,” she said,
mov brought up a paradox: is the brain suff i-

“you know the only reason I’m doing this is
ciently complex to under stand its own
to prove you wrong after all these years.”

complexity? As I looked at the computer I re-

“And the reason I’m doing it is to f ind the
alized that we had f inally cracked the Asimov
truth,” I said. “Now that we can measure the
paradox—even if we couldn’t understand
currents in the brain directly and trace out
how the brain worked, our computer could.

exactly how the neural pathways are orga-

Compared to that, my old MRI studies were
nized, we can f igure out once and for all
like a phrenologist looking at bumps on the
who is self-aware, and who is not. No more
skull.

doubts.”

“Analysis complete,” announced the com-

Jenny scraped her chair forward a few
puter.

inches, and I adjusted the scanner on her

“Computer, identify volitional center.”

head. “Okay,” said Jenny, “now do you want

Most of the network faded, but a faint
me to recite something? Look into a mirror?

band of neurons glowed over most of the left

Do a little dance?”

hemisphere. They twisted and knotted into a

“No.”

dense glowing ball in the prefrontal lobe.

“How about this,” said Jenny. “Things fall

“Volitional center identif ied,” announced
apart; the center cannot hold. Mere anarchy
the computer.

is loosed upon the world.”

I almost jumped out of my chair. Sixteen

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years of work, sixteen years of false starts,

“Sorr y, Dad, I didn’t see you standing
sixteen years of groping in the dark—but I
there,” said a grinning teenage boy with red
had f inally found the truth. I processed the
curly hair.

other scans. When I f inished and looked out

I waved to him. “George, go get everyone
the window, a fat orange Moon squatted low
for dinner. It’s our anniversary and Jenny
on the horizon. I ran the f inal correlation be-
wants to eat early tonight.”

tween the MRI test results and our new neur-

George ran back to the network of dormi-
al tracings—the match was excellent. Then I
tories on the other side of the creek and rang
slouched back in the chair and stared up at
the dinner bell. At the clanging of the bell,
the ceiling.

children walked, ran, and skipped out to the

The human mind is a messy thing—not for
picnic tables surrounding the birch tree,
us the sharp, crystalline beauty of physics, or
chattering and laughing in the late afternoon
even the cozy regularity of chemistry. I guess
sun.

I should have felt vindicated—now I had ab-

Jenny emerged from the back door of the
solute proof that there really were people
cabin, carrying a steaming pot of spaghetti.

who lacked consciousness. But I knew what

She set it down on one of the tables and

I had to do next.

hugged me from behind. “Happy anniver-

“Computer, please initiate Project Gal-
sary, John. Now be a dear and help me get
lagher.”

the other pots.”

“Your request is conf irmed, Professor Ben-

So Jenny f inally got her wish for a large
son. Project Gallagher requires a password.”

family—thirty-four boys and girls—“former”

I hesitated for a moment. “The password is

Blanks whose parents didn’t want them back

‘Descartes’s stepchildren.’”

or couldn’t even be found. In a world f lood-

My postdocs and graduate students were
ed with orphans, even genetic undesirables
just as smart as me, but I had grown up with
like us were allowed to adopt. The innocent

Java and C++, while they knew only a world
joy of the children is some consolation for
of computers that talked. So it was child’s
everything else that I’ve endured.

play to hack the computer and falsify the

I watch the sun rise over the mist-en-
data without leaving anything for anyone
shrouded mountains every morning and won-
else in my lab to detect. My deception
der if I have suffered enough to atone for the
wouldn’t last forever, but I was years ahead
evil that I unleashed upon the world. I don’t
of the competition, and I knew this entire re-
mind the hate mail or the threatening phone
search area would quickly become taboo.

calls—I have a clear conscience. I made my fi-

It was almost nine o’clock when I f inally
nal decision, and it was the right decision. Of
called Jenny. “I got the results. The neural
course, now I’m a virtual prisoner in my gild-
tracing shows volitional centers in all of the
ed mountain cage, but that’s a small price to
subjects. There are no Blanks.”

pay for a world in which parents will no

“John, you mean ever ything that hap-
longer abandon their own children, or blame-
pened . . . it was all a mistake . . . your mis-less people be herded into ghettos.

take?” A few seconds of silence, followed by

No, my own punishment is much more
a stif led sob, and then nothing.

personal—known only to me, in fact. I can’t
really blame Gallagher for falsifying data and

Money can’t buy happiness, but it can cer-
lying to me eighteen years ago—I know he
tainly buy physical security. Jenny and I
did it out of compassion. He had no way of
bought a hundred acres of land surrounding
knowing that someday my neural tracings

Nearly Heaven, and we turned it into a
would uncover the truth. So now I sit under
fortress, with high fences, surveillance cam-
our birch tree in the hazy twilight, and I look
eras, and armed guards.

into Jenny’s eyes, the eyes of the woman I

I ran my hand over our birch tree—nineteen
truly love with all of my heart—and I see
notches—Jenny still used her old Swiss Army
nothing. “No matter what happens,” I whis-
knife to carve them. A soccer ball whistled
per to her, “I will love you.”

over my head and struck the tree, rattling the
branches and knocking down a few leaves.

72

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Buddha

Nature

Amy Thomson

The question “Who is human?” can
occur in all kinds of contexts. . . .

amsara heard a knock on the gate. He
some kind of a joke?”

sat up, wondering if he’d dreamed the

“It is not in my nature to joke,” the machine
sound. Midnight watch at the mon-
explained. “I believe the most certain path to

Sasterygate was hard duty,but good enlightenment is to become a monk at a Bud-meditation practice. Despite the unyielding
dhist monastery. So I came here, hoping you
wooden bench, he always struggled against
will allow me to join the monastery.”

the urge to sleep. At forty-five, staying awake

Samsara looked down at the machine. The
was harder than when he’d f irst joined the
monastery did not turn away anyone seeking
monastery a dozen years ago.

enlightenment. His duty was clear.

Switching on the light over the gate, Sam-

“I’ll take you to see the abbot.”

sara opened the door. A squat machine slowly

The machine followed the monk through
rolled into the light. It stood a little higher
the sleeping monastery, until they reached
than his waist, with a square, low-slung body.

the stairs.

It had three arms. One contained a complex

“I’m not equipped to climb stairs,” the ma-
array of optics and the others were hand-like
chine said.

manipulators. The robot was covered in mud

“If you will wait in the reception area, I’ll
and bits of greenery. Its journey to this remote
bring the abbot down to you,” Samsara told

Vermont mountainside must have been long
the robot.

and hard. The robot inclined its optics up at

“Thank you. My batteries are nearly
him, rolling hesitantly back and forth a few
drained. May I recharge them?”

inches, its wheels crunching on the gravel

“Of course.”

drive.

“I wish to take refuge in the Three Jewels,

Samsara followed the abbot into the recep-
the Buddha, the Dharma, and the Sangha,”

tion area. The robot unplugged itself from the
the machine said in a f lat, mechanical voice.

wall socket and rolled forward, lowering its

“I seek to become enlightened.”

optics as it stood before the abbot.

Samsara stared in astonishment. “Is this

“I’m sorry to have awakened you, Abbot,”

BUDDHA NATURE

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the machine said.

monastery will provide restitution on your be-

“I am Abbot Bodhidharma. What are you
half.”

called?” the abbot asked the robot.

“Thank you,” the robot said. “Are you going

“They called me Raz, after Erasmus, the
to allow me to stay here?”

Dutch Renaissance writer.”

Bodhidharma shook his head. “Normally all

“‘When I have a little money, I buy books. If
that’s required is my approval for someone to

I have any left, I buy food and clothing,’” the
enter the monastery. But given your unusual
abbot quoted. “Where did you come from,
nature, Raz, I think that all the monks should

Raz?”

have a chance to discuss the issues involved.

“For the past f ive years, I catalogued and

You are welcome to stay here until we reach a
scanned books in the religious studies library
decision.”

at a university. They no longer needed me

“Thank you,” Raz said. “I am sorry for any
there. So I have come hoping to take refuge in
inconvenience I have caused you.”

the Three Jewels by becoming a novice

Samsara shrugged. “No need to apologize.

monk.”

Your arrival made my evening.”

“How did you become interested in Bud-
dhism?”

Samsara watched Abbot Bodhidharma

“In the course of my work, I surveyed the
stride to the front of the room, with Raz
beliefs of all the major religions, and many of
rolling behind him. The robot looked cleaner,
the minor ones. Buddhist precepts encourage
with much of the mud and vegetation cleared
an experimental and experiential outlook. The
from its chassis.

logic of this attracted me, as did its lack of be-

“This is Raz. It wishes to join our monastery,”

lief in a supernatural deity. I f ind an excep-

Bodhidharma announced.

tional human teacher more plausible than a

Samsara smiled at the amazement on the
god.”

faces of the normally unflappable monks.

“There are many monasteries. Why did you

“Raz believes he is a sentient being,” the ab-
choose this one?” Bodhidharma asked.

bot continued. “I believe it’s worthwhile in-

“A high percentage of the monks here have
vestigating whether a robot is capable of
computer science or engineering back-
enlightenment. However, given our potential
grounds. Given my non-human nature, I felt
novice’s unusual nature, I thought we should
that monks with a technical background
discuss this. Raz, would you like to say a few
would be more likely to accept me.” Raz
words on your behalf ?”

pointed its optics at the f loor. “It was much

Raz rolled forward. “There are many rea-
harder than I expected to get here. I had to
sons to study dharma and follow the path to
recharge at a farm several miles down the
enlightenment. I seek to understand my true
road. It is against Buddhist precepts to steal. I
nature. I do not know if I can achieve enlight-
will understand if you feel it necessary to turn
enment, but I believe that even if I do not, I
me away.”

will better understand who and what I am. I

“If you had not recharged your batteries,
will attempt to be a good monk, and try not to
what would have happened?”

distract or hinder you.”

“I would have become immobilized, unable

“Does anyone wish to discuss this?” the ab-
to move. Rain or snow would have rendered
bot asked.

me inoperable.”

Several men rose to speak. Bodhidharma

“So you stole that power to preserve your
nodded at Henry. Henry was a tall, burly
existence?” Bodhidharma asked.

novice, usually one of the most silent monks

“Yes. I did not believe that a strange human
in the monastery. Today, he resembled a huge,
would accede to a request from me.”

dark thundercloud. Samsara had watched Hen-

“How much power did you take?” Bodhi-
ry struggle against his temper during the
dharma asked.

novice’s two years at the monastery. Clearly

“Approximately two kilowatt hours. I am an
his anger had won today.

efficient machine, and I took only enough to

“How can you do this?” Henry demanded.

get me here.”

“Assume that—that thing has the right to be

“It is a trivial amount of money. The
here! It’s crazy!”

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“Why do you say it’s crazy?” Bodhidharma
lightenment? Is it part of the wheel of karma?”

replied.

“Can a robot suffer? Does it even need en-

“It’s a machine!” Henry exclaimed, nearly
lightenment?”

shouting in his anger. “A robot, like the ones

“It is our job to show compassion for all
that took my father’s job. Now we’re going to
sentient beings. If this robot is sentient, then
automate meditation and enlightenment?”

we must care for it and others like it.”

“Perhaps we’ll de-automate machines in-

The wrangling went on and on. Monks sep-
stead,” Bodhidharma suggested. “And you
arated into groups and debated the issues in-
need to set aside your anger, Henry. This is not
volved. Samsara went over and sat beside Raz.

the machine that took your father’s job. This

By now the other monks had become so em-
monastery is not a factory. Enlightenment
broiled in the philosophical fine points of ma-
does not arise on an assembly line. Please, give
chine enlightenment that most of them had
us arguments based on reason, not anger at
forgotten the actual robot.

past hurts.”

“Are you sure you want to become part of

Another monk rose. It was Dhukka, a
this madhouse, Raz? We could ship you back
deeply gentle and ascetic old monk. “I see no
home and no harm done,” Samsara told him.

reason not to allow Raz to stay with us. At

“Oh no!” Raz said. “I want to stay here even
worst, the robot will try and fail, as many hu-
more now I’ve seen what it’s like. This debate
mans have tried and failed, to become enlight-
is fascinating! I never imagined it would be
ened. I believe we can learn a great deal from
like this.”

Raz’s presence among us. He brings a new

“Usually it’s not,” Bodhidharma said, as he
perspective to our search for enlightenment.”

sat down on the other side of Raz. “We discuss

“What are the consequences if a robot
and debate about the dharma, but it’s normal-
proves to be a sentient being? Would we then
ly much more calm and dispassionate than
have to grant robots and artificial intelligences
this. The monastery is quiet and peaceful on
full human rights?” Vipaka asked. Samsara re-
the surface, but we’re all wrestling with our
called that the wiry old monk had been a phi-
limitations. That diff iculty usually comes out
losophy professor.

in petty wrangling about who got more cab-

“It is only one robot. One robot is hardly a
bage at lunch. Life here is a pressure cooker,
revolution,” replied Dhukka.

Raz. Do you really want to do this?”

“Yet Buddha was only one man, one solitary

“I didn’t comprehend desire until I decided
sage, and look at the changes his teachings

I wanted to become a monk,” Raz replied. “I
have wrought,” Vipaka replied. “We must de-
hope I will be allowed to stay.”

liberate, be mindful. We must consider care-

“Very well then,” Bodhidharma said. He
fully what we do.”

stood, and rang the meditation bell three

“There is so much we can learn here, so
times. It was a mark of how involved the
much to gain,” someone else said.

monks had become in this debate that he had

“I’m excited about this,” another monk
to do it twice more before silence eventually
added. “Never before have we seen a sentient
fell.

being other than a human reach for enlighten-

“It is clear that no consensus will arise from
ment.”

this debate. So I’m invoking the privilege you

Other monks joined the discussion:

gave me when you elected me to be the ab-

“You are assuming the machine has sen-
bot. If we send Raz away, then this argument
tience.”

will never be decided. We lose the chance to

“He is sentient enough to have risked his
learn what this robot is capable of. I say that
life to come here.”

we will admit Raz on probation for three

“The robot is a machine. It does not possess
months, just like a human novice. After that
gender,” someone corrected.

time, we will revisit this issue.”

“The term ‘it’ is so dehumanizing.”

“Abbot, please! I beg you. Don’t do this!”

“It’s NOT human. That’s the whole point!”

Henry said. “It’s wrong!”

Henry insisted.

“I have made up my mind, Henry. If you do

“What’s important is this: does the robot
not like my decision, you must either accept
have Buddha nature? Can a robot achieve en-
my authority in this matter, or leave the

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monastery. Which will it be?”

With that, their mid-morning sutra chanting

Henry bowed his head. “I yield to your au-
session began. Samsara enjoyed chanting; the
thority, but I still think this is a bad idea.”

sonorous sound of their chorus filled the high-

“Thank you, Henry. All I ask is that you give
ceilinged meditation hall, with its huge beams.

Raz a time to prove himself.”

He liked to sit in the back, where he could see

Henr y bowed his head. “I-I’ll tr y. ” He
the other monks, their shaven heads smooth
walked off shaking his head dubiously.

and lumpy, with skin tones ranging from Sher-

“Raz, Samsara. Come with me,” Bodhidhar-
man’s pale egg-like skull to Vipaka’s ebony
ma said as the other monks stood to begin a
one. But today, he listened carefully to Raz’s
round of walking meditation. “We have much
f lat, droning voice, chanting the sutras with
to discuss.” They followed the abbot into the
mechanical perfection.

small room where teachers conferred with

“You did very well,” Samsara told him after
their students.

the ceremony.

“Samsara, I think you’d be an ideal teacher

“Thank you. I have scanned all of the Pali
for Raz. Will you accept him as your student?”

Canon in the original Pali, as well as the six

“Me?” Samsara said. He’d been looking for-
most authoritative translations. I have also
ward to a forest meditation retreat for nearly a
scanned all texts relating to this particular
year. The disappointment cut deeply.

Buddhist sect, as well as all the writings of this

“This is an opportunity that may never
lineage of teachers. All of these are in my
come again,” Bodhidharma said. “Please. I
memory,” Raz replied. “So you see, I already
think you would be the best teacher for Raz. I
knew the texts. My timing lagged 327 millisec-
believe that there’s a karmic reason that you
onds behind the group average. I’m sure I will
were the one who met him first.”

improve with practice.”

Samsara thought of the abbot as a solid, log-

“Such a small lag doesn’t matter, Raz. What
ical man. Listening to the abbot talk about kar-
matters is focusing on the words of the sutra,
ma made him uneasy. Such things seemed too
and trying to comprehend them.”

subjective, too hard to prove. Perhaps this was

“I shall try to perfect my comprehension,
why the abbot had chosen him. He was the
but there are so many things I do not under-
least spiritual of all the monks here, accepting
stand. Some of them refer to states of being I
nothing without proof. This skepticism was si-
have never experienced.”

multaneously his greatest asset and his great-

“Tell me more,” Samsara prompted.

est impediment.

“Obviously, I lack many human emotions

He bowed to the abbot; “If Raz wants me as
like anger and sadness. Also, I have read about
his teacher, I will be glad to serve in that ca-
meditation, but cannot seem to do it. I read
pacity.”

about enlightenment, but have not been able

“I would be honored to have you as my
to achieve it.”

teacher, Samsara,” Raz said.

“Only a few monks in the monastery have

“Then it is done,” the abbot said. “Come, it
achieved enlightenment, Raz. Sadly, I am not
is time for sutra chanting.”

one of them,” Samsara fought back a twinge of

Samsara bowed, fighting back regret at the
resentment. Burdened by this new student,
loss of his longed-for retreat. He’d spent all
his chance to do nothing but focus on enlight-
year preparing for several months of solitary
enment had been delayed. Right thought he
meditation. Perhaps he needed to examine his
admonished himself, forcing his thoughts
attachment to a retreat. After all, this was the
away from resentment.

chance of a lifetime.

“Perhaps we will help each other to a deep-
er understanding,” Samsara said, wondering

“Raz will be working with Samsara,” Abbot
how he could teach a machine to experience

Bodhidharma announced when the assembled
human emotions.

monks had returned to their cushions. “I am

A deep-toned bell bonged.

very excited by the prospect of working with

“Since it is time for meditation, let’s start

Raz. I hope everyone will help guide Raz
with that. We will practice apart from the rest,
along the path to enlightenment. Now, let’s re-
so that we will not disturb the others.”

turn to our normal schedule.”

They settled themselves in a quiet corner at

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the edge of the garden, on the moss under a

“They usually sit over there.”

huge sugar maple just beginning to turn its fall

The conversation stopped as Raz and Sam-
color. After spreading out a pair of mats, Sam-
sara approached the novices’ table.

sara settled cross-legged, sitting up straight,

“May we join you?”

hands folded in the dhyana mudra symbolizing

The novices nodded. An awkward silence
contemplation. The pressures of the day
settled over the table, broken by monks on
slipped away.

serving duty bearing huge bowls of steaming

“All right, Raz. I want you to find a posture
brown rice and vegetable stew. The novices
in which you feel comfortable and alert.”

accepted scoops of rice from the first server,

The robot lowered itself to the mat, retract-
while the second server ladled the stew on
ing its wheels, “I’m ready.”

top. When they reached Raz, the f irst server

“Good. Now breathe—” He looked at the
paused.

robot. “Oh, right. I’m sorry, Raz.”

Raz turned his optics toward the server.

“This is where I always get stuck. Since I do

“Please excuse me, but I cannot consume hu-
not breathe, I cannot proceed. Why is breath-
man food.”

ing so central to the meditation process?”

Most of the novices laughed.

“The breath is the bridge between the body

“Perhaps Samsara could have my share. He
and the mind. It is one of the few autonomic
has worked very hard today, teaching me. I am
functions we can consciously control. When
a slow learner.”

we breathe slowly and deeply, our whole

“Thank you, Raz,” Samsara said. “It’s very
body slows down, our muscles relax, and our
kind of you, but I don’t need more food. Sher-
heartbeat slows,” Samsara explained. “The
man looks hungry, though.”

breath functions like a mental metronome.

Sherman, the youngest monk at the table,

When our breathing is quick and shallow, so
blushed. He was a gawky young man, with
are our thoughts. When our breathing is slow
bony wrists and translucent ears like radar
and deep, mental activity deepens and slows.

dishes. He had been discovered hiding in the

Then we can more easily see our thoughts.”

monastery’s van, badly bruised, last winter.

“Thank you,” Raz said. “I think I’ve found a

The abbot had taken him in, carefully steering
path into meditation now. I will need to re-
clear of awkward questions about his age or
configure my internal architecture. It may take
his parents. To everyone’s surprise, the boy
some time.”

had taken well to the strict discipline of the

Samsara sank into meditation with the
monastery. Still, the restrictive meals here
speed of long practice. But only a few minutes
were hard on a hungry teenager.

had passed when Raz said, “I have pro-

“Sherman, would you take my share? It
grammed a secondary clock that brings my
would be a shame for it to go to waste.”

processor speed under my control. It seems

“Thank you, Raz,” Sherman said. “I appreci-
counterproductive, but I will try it.”

ate your kindness, and dedicate the merit of

Samsara smiled. “Well, meditation is the art
your gift to the happiness of all sentient be-
of very slowly and deliberately doing noth-
ings.”

ing.”

Raz looked down. “As a fellow sentient be-

“Now I have a breathing-analogue for medi-
ing, I appreciate it. Do I perceive correctly
tation, how do we proceed?”

that you are younger than the other novices?”

They worked on meditation techniques all

Sherman’s ears turned pinker. “Yes, I am,”

morning. The going was slow. They stopped
he admitted.

often to adapt human meditation techniques

“I am only ten years old, so you are no
to a machine intelligence. Samsara’s technical
longer the youngest.”

background proved useful. Even so, they had

“What is that in robot years?” Henr y
to shelve several issues to work out later.

drawled derisively. Samsara looked up, frown-

When the bell sounded for lunch, they hur-
ing. Henry’s mouth was his worst impedi-
ried in from the garden, joining the other
ment, coupled with an insecurity that made
monks in the dining hall.

him vindictive upon occasion. He had been

“Perhaps this would be a good time to get
disciplined several times for thoughtless
to know your fellow novices,” Samsara said.

speech.

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“I have never calculated the difference in
was going to have Maitri check Raz out, and
perceived time scales between myself and hu-
see if he needs any maintenance or repairs.

mans. Would you like me to work it out for

Matri used to work in a robotics plant in Buf-
you?”

falo. But it can wait until tomorrow. I think

The other monks laughed.

this is more important, for both of them.”

“Careful, Henry, Raz might turn out to be

Samsara nodded agreement, and they
senior to you,” one of the other novices
slipped out of the meditation hall. Samsara
teased.

went to work in the garden, choosing a spot

“It would not be fair to measure my seniori-
where he could work by himself. The year
ty in that way. In terms of my understanding
turned on the hinge point between summer
of the dharma, I am very young. I have so
and fall, the leaves on the maples had begun
much to learn,” Raz replied.

turning. Samsara raked leaves off the path.

“Well said, Raz,” the abbot remarked. He

Then he pulled some late weeds before they
had come up quietly while they talked. “But
could scatter their seeds. He enjoyed the

Raz will have much to teach us, too. A good
work, enjoyed being hot and sweaty. Soon an-
teacher learns as much from his students as
other New England fall would transform the
they learn from him.”

mountains into a blaze of color. He sank into

“Thank you, Abbot Bodhidharma,” Raz said.

the work as a form of meditation. The ringing

“I will try to be a good student.”

of the bell surprised him. He gathered up the

“I hope everyone will work hard to help
tools, piling them precariously onto the cart

Raz learn,” the abbot said. He did not look at
full of leaves and weeds.

Henry, but his message was clear. The novices

“Here. Let me carry some of those tools,”

were silent as he strode off. Samsara looked

Bodhidharma said, taking the rake and the
down at his bowl of cabbage, tofu, and rice to
pitchfork. “We can walk back together.”

hide a smile.

They strode along in companionable si-

“What do we do when everyone’s eaten,
lence.

Samsara?”

“What do you think of Raz?” the abbot

“When lunch is over, we work. You are free
asked.

to talk during this time. Silence is only re-

“At f irst, I thought you were wasting my
quired during meditation.”

time, but—” he paused, thinking. “I like him.

“My capabilities are somewhat limited. I am

He’s odd, but sincere. He wants to work in the
a specialized machine. I’m very good at cata-
librar y, so we need a way to get him up
loging and shelving books, but not much good
there.”

for anything else,” Raz said. “But I’ll help as

“Ah! An engineering problem! We’ll build
much as I can.”

an elevator!” Abbot Bodhidharma exclaimed

“Unfortunately, our library is on the second
in delight. “We can also haul f irewood and
f loor,” Samsara said. “I’ll talk to the abbot
heavy things upstairs!”

about finding a way to get you upstairs so you

“Won’t an elevator be expensive?”

can work on the library.”

“It doesn’t have to be. We’ll use the scrap

“Thank you,” Raz said.

plywood left over from the dormitory expan-

Sherman came up then. “Can Raz help pol-
sion. And counterweight it with rice bags
ish the floors in the meditation hall?”

f illed with sand. I wonder how much Raz

“That’s up to Raz,” Samsara said.

weighs?” He strode off, muttering to himself.

“I’d like that,” Raz said.

Samsara stared after him, smiling. The abbot

Samsara went along, and watched as Sher-
had a tendency to get hooked on pet projects.

man and Raz worked out how the robot could

He suspected that the elevator would keep
help polish the wooden floor in the main tem-

Bodhidharma happily occupied for the next
ple, dragging a polishing cloth back and forth
few weeks. With a wry smile, Samsara heaved
across the gleaming expanse. The two of them
the garden cart into motion and followed the
worked well together. Shy, reticent Sherman
abbot.

talked happily with the robot as they worked.

After dumping the leaves and putting away

Bodhidharma came up and stood beside
the cart, he found Raz and Sherman outside

Samsara, “Looks like Raz has made a friend. I
the meditation hall, still talking. They seemed

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an oddly assorted pair, the small, squat ma-
come?”

chine and the tall, gangly youth. As he ap-

Bodhidarma laid a hand on Samsara’s arm.

proached, he heard Sherman laugh. Samsara

“Every time an unenlightened being teaches
paused, startled. He’d never heard Sherman
dharma to another unenlightened being, they
laugh before. He worked hard, meditated as-
are teaching what they do not know. You are
siduously, and seldom smiled. It was good to
my best student, and an excellent teacher.

see the boy open up to someone, even a ro-

Keep trying. You’ve only been at this for a
bot.

week and a half. Just teaching Raz to meditate

Pushing aside the temptation to eavesdrop,
is a huge achievement.”

Samsara strode out of the bushes and onto the
veranda where the robot and the boy sat. Sher-

“How many of the monks here are enlight-
man’s face became solemn and expressionless
ened?” Raz asked a few days later.

again.

“Only Bodhidharma and Dhukka are en-

“Work time is over, Raz. You have an hour
lightened. Everyone else is here to learn from
of personal time until the evening meditation
them,” Samsara explained. “Only the most
session.”

skilled among us achieve enlightenment.

“Thank you, Samsara. I think Sherman and I

Some enlightened monks stay and teach. The
will spend some more time together.”

rest go out into the world to teach, or to re-
sume their lives.”

Samsara did everything he could to help Raz

“And you?” Raz asked. “Are you enlight-
settle in. Within a week most of the monks
ened?”

had accepted the robot’s presence. Several

Samsara shook his head. “Not yet.”

monks and novices befriended Raz, most no-

The robot rolled closer. “I hope you be-
tably Sherman. Henry and a few others point-
come enlightened soon.”

edly avoided the robot, but Samsara and the

“Thank you, Raz. I hope you do too.”

abbot hoped that, in time, they too would ac-

Sherman joined them. “We just got the pul-
cept Raz’s presence in the monastery.

leys we needed for Raz’s elevator.”

Raz meditated, studied, and listened assidu-

“I look forward to its completion. It will be
ously, to all appearances a model novice. But
good to work in a library again. This body isn’t
there were odd gaps in the robot’s compre-
good for much else.”

hension. Raz knew as much about Buddhist

“You do a great job on the floors,” Sherman
lore, scripture, and practice as the most senior
said. “And my body isn’t very good at it either.

monks; but it knew less about human drives

I have to use a long-handled mop.”

and emotions than a small child. Anger puz-

“Bodies are limited, but minds are not,”

zled it, as did jealousy, lust, love, and compas-

Samsara said. “We grow old and die, our con-
sion. Raz’s programming made him innately
sciousnesses extinguished in the great sea of
kind, but the robot lacked empathy. This lack
being. We are reborn without knowledge of
of empathy was the robot’s biggest obstacle.

our previous lives. Unlike a human, your body

To transcend suffering, one must experience
may wear out, but your consciousness could
it. Without emotions, Raz could only stand on
be transferred intact to another computer.”

the sidelines, puzzled by human joy and pain.

“Would such a transfer constitute rebirth?”

“How can I teach Raz, when he’s so differ-

Sherman wondered.

ent?” Samsara told Abbot Bodhidharma.

“It’s not really like dying,” Raz said. “I’ve

“Instead of burdening Raz with human ex-
been transferred into other devices. My per-
pectations, try to see the world through his
ceptions and abilities change, but my memo-
eyes. He clings to ritual and rules because as a
ries, when I check them against backups,
program he is nothing but rules and repeti-
remain unchanged. Still, my mechanical na-
tion. He believes in the illusion of separate ex-
ture leads to states of being that are impossible
istence. Raz focuses on his limitations, as do
for humans to achieve. I could duplicate my-
you. You share those hindrances with Raz.

self, for example. Duplicates of me could exist

When you help it realize that these hindrances
in both an enlightened and an unenlightened
are an illusion, you also help yourself.”

state.”

“But how can I teach what I have not over-

“It would be possible to compare the differ-

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ences between the enlightened and the unen-

They set to work and unearthed the rest of
lightened state,” Samsara said.

the card catalog. Starting with A, Samsara fed

“But would machine enlightenment be the

Raz stacks of fading, handwritten catalog
same as human enlightenment?” Sherman
cards. At first they had to pause while Samsara
wondered.

deciphered the handwriting, but Raz soon

“First I must achieve enlightenment,” Raz
learned to recognize various librarians’ writ-
pointed out. “And I am still far from that ulti-
ing. By the time the bell signaled the end of
mate goal.”

the work period, they had scanned two shoe-

“As am I,” sighed Sherman.

boxes of index cards, which Raz uploaded via

Samsara nodded agreement, “Yes, but just
broadband to the computer in the abbot’s of-
striving for enlightenment is an achievement
fice.

in itself.”

Several days later, the f irst hard frost ar-
rived. Monks who had been hauling wood and

The monks gathered around the rough
raising food in the monastery’s vegetable gar-
wooden elevator. After several weeks’ hard
dens now had time for indoor work. With half
work, the elevator had been f inished. It was
a dozen monks working under Raz’s supervi-
little more than a platform inside a wooden
sion, they had the library reorganized in ten
scaffold, counterweighted with sand-f illed
days.

rice sacks, but it was sturdily built.

A few days later, one of the local farmers

“Care to take a ride, Raz?” the abbot said.

brought a load of firewood from his woodlot.

“Thank you,” the robot said, and rolled onto

“We’ll store it upstairs,” Abbot Bodhidhar-
the platform.

ma said. “That way, we won’t have to haul

Sherman and two of the younger novices
wood for the stoves on this level.”

began pulling on the rope. The elevator rose

They loaded the wood onto the elevator,
slowly to the second f loor. Raz rolled out of
adding a couple of extra sacks of sand to the
the elevator and sped along the balcony to the
counterweight. With several monks heaving
library. Samsara opened the door to the li-
on the rope, they began hauling the loaded el-
brary. Raz rolled in and looked up at all the
evator to the second f loor. The elevator rose
books.

about a foot. Two more monks added their

“Our librarian died a few months ago, and
strength to the rope, and the elevator began to
the library has gotten rather disorganized,”

climb more steadily. It was over six feet in the

Samsara explained. “We were going to set it in
air when the rope snapped. The platform hit
order this winter, after we’d put the garden to
the ground with a smash, sending splintered
bed.”

logs flying.

“Good,” Raz said. “I want to be useful, and

There was a hoarse cry from Sherman. A
this is what I’m best at. Where is the catalog?”

splinter from the platform had driven itself

Samsara rummaged around in a desk, and
into his leg. Several monks knelt beside him.

pulled out a battered shoebox f illed with

Others ran to get a stretcher.

frayed index cards. “Here’s the card catalog for

“Please don’t call my folks!” Sherman said,

Ja–Jo.”

in a voice hoarse with pain. “Please don’t call

“Let’s find the other boxes, and I’ll scan the
my folks! I want to stay here.”

cards in. If someone loads the cards into the

Samsara looked around at the circle of gath-
hopper of my scanner, I can probably scan the
ered monks. All looked on with concern and
entire catalog in a few hours. Once I have an
worry. Except for Henry, whose face was pale
electronic database, I can inventory and orga-
with shock. On impulse, Samsara picked up
nize the physical books.” The robot looked
the end of the snapped rope. It was still new,
around the cluttered room. “That will go faster
with no obvious wear. The rope had been cut
if I have help moving the books. When we’re
partway through.

done, you’ll have a more organized and useful

Samsara saw the fear in Henry’s eyes, and
library.”

knew who had done this.

Samsara looked around at the dusty stacks

“This rope’s been cut,” he announced.

of books. “That would be great. The library re-

“Someone sabotaged the elevator.”

ally needs it.”

Henry turned and fled. Two monks caught

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and held him.

“It would only be unnatural if it’s impossi-

The monks with the stretcher came run-
ble. If Raz achieves enlightenment, and proves
ning up, followed by the abbot.

his sentience, then everything we know must

“What happened?”

be re-examined. Don’t you find that exciting?”

“The rope snapped on the elevator,” one of

“No!” Henry shouted. “It’s terrifying.”

the monks said.

“Is that why you cut the cable? To try to kill

“It was cut,” Samsara added. “And Henry

Raz? He’s your brother monk.”

tried to run away when I discovered the cut

“No, he’s not! It’s a thing. It would be like
rope.”

turning off a light switch!”

Abbot Bodhidharma sighed. “Take Sherman

“But instead of killing Raz, you hurt Sher-
to the inf irmary, and call emergency ser-
man. What if the cable had broken while a hu-
vices.”

man being was riding in it?”

“May I stay with Sherman?” Raz asked.

Henry stared sullenly at the ground. “I

The abbot nodded. “Until the ambulance ar-
didn’t mean to hurt anyone. I just wanted to
rives.”

end that thing’s existence.”

“Thank you,” the robot said, and rolled off

“Instead you endangered everyone in the
after the stretcher.

monastery, including Raz.” Bodhidharma told

“Henry, go to my off ice, please. I will talk
him. “I should have you arrested, but I don’t
with you later. Would someone keep him
want to drag the monastery through a nasty
company?”

court case. It would cause suffering for all in-

“I’ll go,” Samsara volunteered. He wanted to
volved. Basically, you can leave voluntarily, or
understand why Henry had sabotaged the ele-
we can assemble the monks and vote you
vator.

out.”

Samsara and Henry walked together with-

“I’ll leave,” Henry told him.

out speaking. Their silence had a different feel

“Do you have a place to go?” Bodhidharma
than the usual silence of two monks enjoying
asked in a more compassionate tone of voice.

their inner stillness. There was a tension in the

“Yes,” Henry replied. “I’ll be fine.”

air, singing of anger, hostility, and fear.

Bodhidharma nodded. “I’m sorry your time

They reached the abbot’s off ice, settled
here has ended like this, Henry. I had planned
themselves in the hard wooden chairs, and
to invite you to take full vows as a monk next
waited in silence for Abbot Bodhidharma to
year. If you plan to continue on the path, you
appear. The tension stretched between them,
must practice metta meditation, with Raz as
like a guitar string, tightened nearly to snap-
your focus. You lack compassion.”

ping.

“I don’t believe that compassion should be

“How can you work with that thing?” Hen-
extended to a machine,” Henry replied.

ry asked.

“If it possesses sentience, then we are oblig-

“You mean Raz.” Samsara shrugged. “I’ve
ated to do so,” Samsara said.

learned a lot from Raz. He helps me see things

“It’s wrong!” Henry replied.

differently.”

“But if we are unknowingly enslaving sen-

“It’s not a he, it’s an it, a machine, a thing. It
tient beings, then the world should be
has no business being here. This is a place for
changed,” Bodhidharma answered.

human beings.”

“I don’t know,” Henry said. “But no good

“Where in the sutras does it say ‘no robots
will come of this.” He stood. “I must apologize
allowed’?” Samsara challenged.

to Sherman, and then pack my things.”

“It’s not right. A machine can’t have a soul.”

Bodhidharma rose to see him out. “Sher-

“How do you know that?” Bodhidharma
man will forgive you the hurt you have done
asked as he walked in. “How do any of us
him, but he might not forgive the hurt you in-
know if a robot is a sentient being? Raz decid-
tended to Raz.”

ed to come here in search of enlightenment.

Henry nodded and walked out.

That is a powerful argument for the possibility

When the door shut behind Henry, Bodhid-
of machine sentience.”

harma shook his head sadly. “I’ve avoided ask-

“It’s wrong!” Henry shouted. “It’s unnatur-
ing Sherman his age or what he left behind
al.”

when he came here. I’ve always suspected

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that he ran away. The authorities may well
out. “Does that mean that other humans can
send him back to his family. I hope that Raz is
decide your fate?”

worth what leaving the monastery will do for

“I came here to apologize to Sherman, not

Sherman.”

to debate a machine. I should go,” Henry said.

“I think so,” Samsara replied. “Raz is learn-

“Vipaka will drive you to the train station,”

ing and adapting very quickly. His friendship

Abbot Bodhidharma said. “You have enough
with Sherman has deepened his understand-
money to get where you need to go?”

ing and compassion.”

Henry nodded.

The abbot nodded. “We should check on

Just then, Vipaka came in. “The ambulance

Sherman.”

is here for Sherman,” he announced.

Sherman looked pale but calm when the ab-

Abbot Bodhidharma went with Sherman to
bot and Samsara entered the inf irmary. Raz
the hospital. He came home alone.

was beside him.

“His parents took him home,” he confided

“Did Henry really cut the cable?” Sherman
to Samsara and Raz the next morning. He
asked.

looked tired and deeply unhappy. “They

“Yes,” Samsara replied.

threatened to bring charges against the

“Why?”

monastery. Sherman told them that he’d run

“You can ask him yourself. He’s coming by
away again if they did so. Meeting them
to apologize before he leaves the monastery.”

helped me understand why he was so tenta-

“He is?” Sherman glanced nervously at Raz.

tive and shy, and why he’d run away.”

“Perhaps I should go,” Raz suggested.

It must have been very bad. The abbot nev-

Just then Henry came in, looking odd and
er spoke ill of anyone.

out of place in street clothes.

“Will Sherman be coming back?” Raz asked.

“I’m sorry, Sherman,” Henry said. “I didn’t

“Not for almost a year, if then. Sherman has
mean for you to get hurt.”

just turned sixteen. The law requires him to

“Then why did you do it?” Sherman de-
stay with his parents until he is seventeen.

manded.

And so much can change in a young man’s life

“I wanted to get rid of that damned robot,”

in a year’s time. Perhaps he will meet a girl
he said in a defiant tone of voice.

and fall in love. Perhaps he will decide to go

“You mean Raz?” Sherman said.

off to college. I can only hope that his time

Henry nodded.

with us left him better prepared to withstand

“Then I’m not the one you should apologize
whatever suffering life throws in his path, and
to.” Sherman rested a hand on top of Raz’s op-

I suspect that he will have to endure much in
tic module.

the next year.”

“I will not apologize to a thing,” Henry said,

That evening, when the monks had gath-
his face darkening. “He has no feelings, and
ered for their evening meditation, Bodhidhar-
therefore cannot be hurt.”

ma rose to speak. “These events have shaken

Raz rolled back and forth a few times. He
us all. I think we should revisit the subject of
did that sometimes when he was confused or

Raz’s presence among us. Does anyone else
hesitant. He stopped suddenly, and his optics
feel strongly about the robot being here?”

whirred as he focused on Henry. “Why do you

There was a long, hanging silence. Then
wish to harm me?”

one hand rose, followed by several others.

“You’re not human. You shouldn’t be here.”

“Vipaka, please, speak,” Bodhidharma en-

“Yet you endangered the lives of other hu-
treated. “I would rather not let this fester as it
mans out of your desire to end my existence. I
did with Henry.”

don’t understand why you would do this.”

“At f irst,” Vipaka began, “I thought you

“Because machines don’t deserve the same
were crazy. A machine seeking enlighten-
rights as humans.”

ment? Henry spoke to me of his doubts, and I

“Why not?”

counseled him to be patient. But as time

“Because you aren’t alive. You don’t have
passed, and I got to know Raz, I realized that
feelings. Humans created you. That gives us
he was more than just a machine. He thought.

the right to decide your fate.”

He strove to understand. In some ways, it has

“Humans created you, too,” Raz pointed
been a much harder struggle for him than for

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us. He has to understand all of this through a
alone in a dark room, painting over the win-
machine’s limited comprehension of human
dows of your soul. It is better to talk with oth-
experience. I came to respect Raz’s earnest-
ers, share your loss, then leave it behind.”

ness and dedication, even though I still doubt

“But I want to remember Sherman. He
his ability to achieve enlightenment.”

should be here, but he isn’t.” Raz began

Other monks came forward and spoke.

rolling back and forth even faster.

Most doubted the robot’s ability to achieve en-

“We all miss Sherman. But every monk is a
lightenment.

brother to you here. You are not alone.”

“But then, I sometimes doubt my own abili-

“How can I have brothers when I never had
ty to become enlightened,” another monk
parents?” Raz asked, halting his distressed
quipped. “However, I do not bear him ill will
rolling.

or doubt his right to be here.”

Samsara smiled. “It’s a Buddhist miracle,

“Does anyone doubt his right to be here?”

brother. It’s called compassion. We feel each

Abbot Bodhidharma asked.

other’s joy and sorrow. We imagine what an-

One hand wavered up.

other is feeling, and feel it ourselves.”

“Yes?” the abbot prompted.

“How can I feel another’s emotion when

“I worry that Raz may be taking up space

I’ve never experienced it?”

that a human could occupy.”

“Ah, but you have just learned what loss

“No one has been turned away because Raz
feels like.”

has joined us,” Bodhidharma assured them.

“Yes. I see.” The robot backed up and low-

“Is there anyone who still objects to Raz’s
ered his optics in his approximation of a bow.

presence among us?”

“Thank you, teacher.”

There was silence.

Samsara shrugged. “To learn what pain feels

“Are we all agreed that Raz should stay?”

like is not a kindness, Raz.”

Everyone raised their hand.

“The Buddhist definition of a sentient being

“Good. I thank you for your compassion
is that it prefers not to suffer,” Raz replied. “If I and insight. Let us dedicate the merit of this
can feel loss, perhaps I can feel joy. But to
discussion to the eventual enlightenment of all
know that I can have feelings is another Bud-
beings.”

dhist miracle.”

Over the next two weeks, as the brilliant

Raz seemed subdued and quiet after the ele-
leaves fell, and the garden filled with crackling
vator incident. He stayed by himself a lot,
drifts of leaves, Samsara watched Raz sit with
looking out the window of the meditation
each person in the monastery in turn, listen-
hall, and not coming to meals. If Raz had been
ing as they talked about their emotions, what
human, Samsara would have said he was mop-
triggered them, and what they felt like.

ing.

“I am trying to model human emotions,”

“What’s going on?” Samsara asked the robot

Raz told him.

after nearly a week of this.

“The rest of us are trying to subdue our

“Sherman’s not here, and it makes me feel
emotions,” Samsara said with an ironic smile.

strange. I have been replaying the conversa-

“But one has to understand what one needs
tions that we had.”

to control,” Raz said.

“Do you miss him?”

“Even if you don’t intrinsically possess emo-

Raz rolled back and forth, uncertainly.

tions?”

“Yes,” it answered after a long moment.

“Especially so. Buddha’s path was designed

“We all miss Sherman.”

by a human to be followed by humans. I must

“It is unpleasant. How do I make it stop?”

understand the differences between my ma-

Samsara sat down beside Raz. “This is suf-
chine nature and human nature in order to
fering, Raz. Sadly, it is normal. You need to let
create my own path to enlightenment.”

go of the memories. Look outside, at the trees

Samsara shook his head. “You are growing
losing their leaves. The trees let the leaves fall, wise, my friend.”

and they nourish the soil for next year’s

“If I succeed in being wise, it is my teachers
growth. That is what our experience does for
who have helped me.”

us. If you cling to memories, you wind up

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A succession of storms drove the last leaves
make it.”

from the branches, and the monks inside. The

“I am sorry. I, too, seem to be close to a
f irst snow feathered down in late October,
breakthrough of some sort. I find it difficult to
and the monastery closed into its own world,
be patient. I am not used to this feeling. Could
wood fires crackling in stoves to heat the dor-
it possibly be frustration?”

mitory and the meditation hall.

“That’s what it sounds like,” Samsara said.

Then it was time for the monastery’s winter

“Every day, when we meditate, I wish for
retreat. Samsara’s world narrowed to the med-
your enlightenment. You have sought it for so
itation hall and the cushion. The monks spent
long,” Raz said. The robot lowered its optics
the cold dark months of winter in intensive
in an approximation of a bow, and rolled off.

meditation. There would be no outsiders at

Samsara stared after the robot, touched to
the monastery during the next three months.

the point of tears, and surprised by the depth

Work schedules were pared to the minimum
of its compassion.

needed to keep the monastery going: hauling

That evening, as they completed the last
wood, preparing meals, and shoveling snow.

meditation session of the day, Raz f iled out

The monks rose early and meditated well into
with Samsara and Bodhidharma.

the night. Periods of walking meditation eased

“You said you were close to a break-
cramped legs. They stopped only for breakfast
through,” Samsara said. “What kind of break-
and lunch. Days passed in concentrated si-
through?”

lence, hardly anyone spoke, and then only a

“I don’t know,” Raz said. “I just feel like I’m
word or two.

on the edge of something important. But it

Samsara felt himself growing inward. Each
makes no logical sense.”

moment passed with a slow focused intensity

“Enlightenment transcends logic,” Bodhid-
that was almost painful; like a water drop
harma told him. “It is as though all the doors
slowly swelling until it fell. Several times Sam-
and windows of your mind open to a larger re-
sara felt as though the moment when every-
ality.”

thing would open up and reveal itself to him

Raz said nothing. He rolled to a stop, con-
trembled just beyond his reach. His excite-
sidering.

ment shattered his mental state. He would

“Are you all right?” Samsara asked.

painstakingly reassemble his thoughts and try

It took a long moment for the robot to re-
to recover what had just slipped from his
spond. “I—think,” it said, and paused. “I think
grasp. Then the bell rang, signaling a break,

I’ll stay behind in the meditation hall tonight.”

and he would rise, defeated once again.

“I’ll stay with you,” Bodhidharma offered.

One day, after a particularly intense medita-

“May I join you?” Samsara offered, fighting
tion session, the younger novices plunged into
back a yawn.

the snow, hurling snowballs and sliding down

“I would enjoy your company,” Raz said.

the steep banks on old plastic rice sacks. A

“But aren’t you tired?”

stray snowball smacked Samsara on the back

Samsara shrugged. “It wouldn’t be the first
of his head. Suddenly enraged, he flailed at a
time I meditated through the night.”

snow bank expending his anger and frustra-

“We humans should fortify ourselves with a
tion on the snow. The other monks looked on,
little tea, first. Why don’t you go to the medi-
concerned. When the f it passed, they
tation hall and we’ll join you in a few min-
brushed him off and helped him into the
utes.”

warm kitchen.

“Raz has made enormous progress in the

Raz rolled up to Samsara as he warmed him-
last few weeks,” Bodhidharma remarked as
self at the stove. “Are you all right?”

they sipped their tea. “You’ve really helped

Samsara nodded, shame-faced. “I’m fine.”

him a lot.”

“Why did you do that?” the robot inquired.

Samsara shrugged. “It’s mostly Raz’s insight.

“It is not part of your usual behavior.”

I just nudge him a little occasionally.”

“I’m just frustrated, Raz. I’ve been trying so

“Which is what a good teacher does.”

hard for enlightenment. I can sense it just be-

They returned a few minutes later, re-
yond my grasp. I’ve been trying so long, and I
freshed by the hot tea. Raz sat by the window,
always seem to come close, but never quite
plugged into an outlet.

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They settled themselves. The abbot rang the

Samsara sat up, scrubbing at his stubbled bell that signaled the beginning of meditation.

scalp. “Thank you,” he said.

Samsara sank into deep meditation almost im-

“Raz told you.”

mediately.

“About his enlightenment. Yes. Is it real?”

The nearly full Moon shone on Raz. In its

“I believe it is.”

light the robot seemed to glow. Later, the

“I should feel happy but—”

round, white Moon sat beside Raz, nodding its

“You don’t,” the abbot f inished. “For the
head as the robot spoke. Samsara strained to
last couple of months, you’ve been hurling
hear what they said, but their words were in-
yourself at enlightenment like it was a train
distinct. He must be dreaming, he thought. If
you could throw yourself under. You’re tired,
only he could wake up, he could hear what
you’re frustrated, and your student has just
the Moon was saying.

surpassed you. It would try the patience of a

The bell for early morning meditation woke
bodhisattva. Take the day off. Go for a walk.

Samsara. It was cold and still dark. He stood,

Or you could go into town and buy some sup-
feeling stiff and disoriented. The last rays of
plies for us.”

the Moon lit the hall with white light. Raz sat

“But—” Samsara protested. “It’s the middle
before the altar, looking up at the statue of the
of the winter retreat. I should be meditating.”

Buddha.

“You have been meditating,” Bodhidharma

“Where’s Bodhidharma?” Samsara asked.

pointed out. “And it isn’t working. You need a

It took Raz a long time to answer. “Gone to
break, let your mind loosen up a bit. It might
bed. He said to tell you that you are excused
help, and it certainly couldn’t hurt. And we do
from the early morning meditation session.”

need someone to do some shopping. You

“How did your meditation session go last
could even have dinner before you come
night?”

back.”

Again, the robot paused. “Extremely well. I

“Dinner?” Samsara said, surprised. Monks
am—different today. Everything seems sharp-
were not supposed to eat after noon.

er-edged, more vibrant. The world seems big-

“I release you from the rules. Just for today.

ger and—deeper. My processing time has

Think of it as a reward for being such an ex-
slowed, but I perceive so much more. I feel—
cellent teacher. Besides, I heard that some-
free, light, and inf inite. It was all so simple.

one’s asking questions about a robot in town.

Everything really is empty, from atoms to hu-

It sounds like someone’s looking for Raz.”

mans, all the way up to the Moon. I realized

“Henry. He must have told someone about
that there was nothing to realize.”

Raz,” he said.

“Did you achieve enlightenment?”

Bodhidharma nodded.

“Bodhidharma thinks so.”

“The diner’s always been a good source of

Samsara felt a sudden flash of jealous anger.

local news.”

He mastered himself. “Congratulations,” he

Samsara grinned, “So that’s why you’re re-
managed. “I’m glad for you.”

laxing the dinner rule.”

“Thank you,” Raz said. “Without you, none

Bodhidharma nodded. “And you really do
of this would be possible.”

need a break. Let me know what you hear.”

Samsara managed a smile. “The student has
surpassed the teacher,” he said bitterly. “I

Bodhidharma gave him a shopping list and
should get some sleep.”

an envelope with enough money to cover din-

He went back to his room, f ighting anger,
ner and groceries. Samsara took the keys to
frustration, and a petty, wailing self-pity.

the monastery’s small van and started off. It

Knowing it was selfish and silly didn’t help. In
had been months since he’d last driven, and it
the solitude of the empty dorm, he wrestled
felt strange to be outside the monastery. He
with his negative emotions until sleep over-
drove carefully on the icy roads, pulling over
came him.

twice to let cars pass. It took nearly forty-five

Bodhidharma woke him. He had brought a
minutes to reach the small town where they
bowl of rice topped with vegetables.

shopped.

“We let you sleep through till lunch,” he

Ignoring people’s stares at his monk’s robes,
said. “You needed it.”

he gave the grocery store robot his list of sta-

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ples, then headed over to the produce depart-

Samsara turned and looked at the man in the
ment to pick through the pallid mid-winter
corner booth. The man was watching him.

vegetables for produce to stretch out their

When their eyes met, the man smiled and
stores from last summer’s garden.

waved at Samsara, then came over and took

Slices of orange had been laid out as sam-
the empty seat beside Samsara.

ples in the produce section. Samsara ate one.

“You people up at the monastery are diff i-

It tasted like the sun exploding in his mouth.

cult to contact. I tried calling, but no one re-

He stared at the tray of oranges, then caught
turned my calls. I even went up there the
himself, and hurriedly pushed the cart away.

other afternoon, but the gates were locked

Craving was the source of all suffering. He fin-
and no one answered when I knocked.”

ished his shopping, and guided the robot as it

“We are closed to visitors during December
loaded the van. His shopping done, Samsara
and January. It’s our mid-winter retreat. The
walked across the street to the diner. Their
abbot sent me out for some supplies, or I’d be
vegetarian selection was limited, but they of-
up there with them.”

ten f ixed a few things off the menu for the

“I see,” the man said. “Maybe I could ask
monks when they came to town.

you a few questions.”

Feeling conspicuous in his robes, he sat at

Samsara inclined his head in agreement.

the counter. Doris, the owner, came by with a

“What is it you’d like to know, Mr.—?”

coffeepot.

“Freeman, Murray Freeman. I’m a reporter

“Hey there. Haven’t seen any of you fellas in
doing a story on technology and religion. I
here lately. How are things up at the
heard you had some kind of fancy computer
monastery? Coffee?”

running your library, and I wanted to see how

He nodded and she filled his cup.

you monks use advanced technology.”

“I’m in town shopping for the monastery.

“We’re not high-tech monks. We have a tele-

The abbot gave me leave to eat dinner.”

phone, and an old computer with a net con-

“You look like you could use a good meal.”

nection. Oh, and a tiller for our garden. We’re

She took out her pad and pencil, and then
not Amish, but we do live simple lives, Mr.

lowered her voice to a conspiratorial tone.

Freeman. You’re welcome to visit us during

“That guy in the corner has been asking about
our spring open house, but I’m afraid you’d be
the monastery.”

disappointed. There’s really not much to see.

Samsara studiously didn’t look at the man.

Most of our work goes on inside our heads.”

“Does he want to join us?”

“You don’t have some kind of fancy robot

“Nope. Not the type. He’s more interested
shelving your books?”

in some kind of machine he thinks you have

“Our library is dealt with by the monks and
up there.”

novices,” he evaded.

He felt a clench of certainty in his gut. The

“I’d still like to see how you do it. Maybe I
man was after Raz.

could write a story about you.”

“We have a Rototiller for the garden, and a

“Abbot Bodhidharma is quite strict about
push mower,” he said calmly. “If he’s trying to
visitors during our midwinter retreat,” Sam-
sell us something, he’s going to be disappoint-
sara replied. “Talk to us next spring.”

ed. I’ll talk to him after I’ve eaten.”

The waitress came with his food. Samsara

“Be careful,” she warned. “I don’t trust him.

smiled and thanked her. He bowed his head

You want the vegetarian special, or the steak
over his food, eyes closed, dedicating the mer-
dinner?”

it of the meal on behalf of the people who had

He grinned. “The vegetarian special, please,
made and served it. Perhaps if he did it long

Doris.”

enough, this inquisitive liar would leave him

“All right, but you look like you could use a
alone. The man didn’t feel like a journalist. He
good steak.”

asked none of the usual questions people

“Only if the cow gave her permission. And
asked about monastic life. He only seemed in-
even then, probably not.”

terested in Raz.

She smiled. “One Veggie Special coming

Samsara had only just managed to avoid a di-
up.”

rect lie. Even the indirect mistruths chafed his

As Doris headed off with her coffee pot,
tender, monastic conscience.

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“Your coffee’s gettin’ cold,” Doris said to
home through the dark from the monastery.

Freeman, “You want me to heat it up for you,

It’s ten miles away. And they’re predicting
or do you want the check?” There was a slight
snow tonight.”

edge in her voice. Doris was protective of her

“All right, all right,” the man said. “I’m leav-
regular customers. She was especially protec-
ing. But you’ll see me again.”

tive of the monks, who she saw as in need of

“Perhaps. But not tonight.”

extra feeding.

Samsara watched as the man climbed down

“The check, hon. I should be getting back
from the van and strode off. The monk waited
to the inn. I need to talk to my editor about ex-
until Freeman was a block away before start-
tending my deadline.”

ing up the van. Samsara stopped on the edge

Doris brought the check with remarkable
of town, and walked around the van to make
speed. Waitress and monk watched the man
sure that Barrat had not decided to ride the
leave, and sighed simultaneously with relief.

back bumper up to the monastery.

“Not much of a tipper,” Doris remarked,

“For a man with such fancy shoes.”

“Well done,” the abbot said, when Samsara

Samsara nodded. “I don’t believe he’s a jour-
reported what had happened. “I think we’ll
nalist.”

have some visitors soon. I’ll make sure that

“Me either,” Doris said. “And the name on

Raz is ready for them.”

his credit card is Bernard Barrat. Cindy over at

Two days later, the tranquility of their mid-
the inn says that the phone calls she’s over-
morning meditation session was broken by
heard sound like he’s reporting to a lawyer.

the sound of a bullhorn.

They’re trying to find out about something at

“This is the sheriff. We have a warrant to
the monastery.” She made a face. “I’d watch
search the premises.”

out for him, if I were you.” She refilled his cof-

The abbot nodded to Samsara, who got up,
fee and headed off.

bowed to the altar, and went to talk to the po-

Samsara finished his meal and asked for the
lice. Barrat waited at the gate, accompanied
check.

by three deputies.

“It’s on the house,” Doris told him. “Say a

“I represent Saint Mark’s College in New
prayer to Buddha for me, okay? Might as well

Hampshire, and the Foundation for Human
have all my bases covered.”

Endeavor,” Barrat said. “We’re here to retrieve

That wasn’t how it worked, but Samsara
a stolen robot belonging to Saint Mark’s Col-
had long ago given up trying to explain this to
lege.”

non-Buddhists.

The deputies handed the warrant to Sam-

“Thank you,” he said, dedicating the merit
sara.

of her generosity. “I just did.”

“This is our winter retreat. We are closed to

He climbed into the van. As he was about to
outsiders until the end of January. I’m afraid I
start it up, he stopped and counted the mon-
must inform you that you are here against our
ey he had left. There was enough for two bags
will, and under protest. Abbot Bodhidharma
of oranges, which would be a treat for the oth-
asks that you disrupt our routine as little as
er monks. He reached the store as they were
possible. The other monks are meditating for
closing up. They let him in and he bought the
the next half hour. You may search the rest of
oranges. As he opened the van’s back door to
the grounds, but we ask you not to enter the
put the oranges in, he heard something mov-
meditation hall until the bell sounds.”

ing inside. He f lung open the door, and saw

“Are you going to let him tell you what to

Freeman/Barrat ducking down behind some
do?” Barrat said.

sacks of rice.

“The monastery has been here for f ifty

“Hello, Mr. Freeman,” he said, deciding to
years. They’re good neighbors. We intend to
keep his knowledge of the false name to himself.

treat them with respect,” the sheriff said.

The man stood, looking embarrassed. “I re-

Turning to one of his deputies, he continued,
ally need this story.”

“Ralph, you go keep an eye on the monks.

“I’m sure you do,” Samsara replied. “But

Don’t disturb them. Just make sure no one
what you have is a choice between walking to
leaves the meditation hall. We’ll search the
your nice warm inn from here, or walking
rest of the monastery while they’re meditat-

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ing.”

choice.”

“Where would you like to go first?”

“Are these all the monks?”

“The library,” Barrat prompted.

“Except for those in the kitchen,” Abbot

“Very well,” Samsara said. “It’s upstairs.”

Bodhidharma replied.

Samsara showed them the library, with its

Samsara smiled. Raz had been hidden in the
neatly organized arrays of bookshelves, and its
pantry, so that was strictly true.

well-worn desks and chairs.

When lunch was finished, the monks start-

“Where’s the computer you keep your
ed to file out.

records on?” Barrat demanded.

“They should stay here,” Barrat said. “We’ll

“It’s in the abbot’s office,” Samsara said. “I’ll
want to question them.”

take you there.”

“Of course,” the abbot said, a chill in his

He showed them to the Abbot’s office. Bar-
voice. “I will ask you to be brief, so that our
rat examined the Abbot’s old, slow computer.

schedule is disrupted as little as possible.

“Is this the only computer the monastery

These two hours after lunch are the monks’

owns?” he demanded.

personal time. Many of our monks have taken

“Yes, it is,” Technically this was true. The
a vow of silence, and may choose not to
monastery did not regard Raz as property.

speak.” He failed to mention that the monks

Samsara was relieved that Barrat had phrased
took that vow when the police arrived.

the question as he had. Otherwise he would

The questioning did not take long. All of the
have had to admit that Raz was here.

monks refused to speak. A clearly frustrated

The bell that signaled the end of the medita-

Barrat turned on the abbot. “You did this,
tion session rang.

didn’t you?”

“You may join us for lunch in the dining

“Did what?” the abbot inquired.

hall,” Samsara offered. “Our monastic rules

“You told them not to speak.”

state that we may not eat after noon. Delaying

“Monks are free to choose a vow of si-
our meal would mean that our monks would
lence,” Abbot Bodhidharma told him. “If they
go hungry today.”

choose not to speak to you, then I cannot

He led them downstairs, where the monks
compel them. Further, I choose not to. I apol-
sat at the tables. Abbot Bodhidharma greeted
ogize to the deputies for the time they have
them politely as they came in the door, treat-
wasted coming here. Mr. Barrat, I’m sorry that
ing even Barrat like a guest. He invited the
you have not found what you seek. But it is
deputies and Barrat to share their meal. The
time for you to go.”

deputies politely refused. Barrat just shook his

“Just a minute!” Barrat said. He pulled out a
head. The servers came around, carrying big
picture of Raz. “Abbot Bodhidharma, have you
pots of brown rice, steamed vegetables, and
seen this robot?”

tofu, and began dishing out the food.

Abbot Bodhidharma turned to Samsara.

After the monks were served, the cook

“Please escort these people to their car.”

came from the kitchen, and asked them to

“No!” Barrat insisted. “They’re hiding some-
dedicate the merit of serving the food to the
thing! Otherwise he’d answer the question!

karma of any animals that might have died in

You need to search the place thoroughly, tear
growing, harvesting, and transporting the
it apart. Find that damned robot!”

food. There was a moment of silence as the

“Why is this so important, Mr. Barrat?” the
monks dedicated the merit, and then every-
younger deputy asked. “Is the robot dangerous?”

one began eating.

“Do you know why it’s here?” Barrat de-

The younger deputy looked around at the
manded. “It’s trying to become enlightened.”

dining hall. “I’ve never been here before. It’s

There was a sneer in his voice. “If that robot
nice.”

manages to convince people that it is sentient

“I’m glad you’ve never had a need to visit us
enough to be enlightened, then it will demand
in your official capacity, but you are welcome
civil rights. Once one robot gets civil rights,
to visit us when we are open to visitors this
then all of them will get them. We’ve gone
spring,” Bodhidharma said.

from using cheap human labor to cheap ro-

“I’m sorry to have disturbed you.”

botic labor. If that changes, our whole society

The abbot shrugged. “It was not your
will come unraveled.”

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“Come on,” the older deputy said. “We’d

“Go ahead,” the senior deputy said.

better get started. This is a big place. It could

“I temporarily release the monks from their
be anywhere.”

vow of silence, in order to say goodbye.”

Just then, a familiar form trundled into the

The monks lined up and said goodbye to
dining hall. It stopped in the middle of the

Raz, chanting blessings, touching the robot, or
main aisle. “That will not be necessary,” Raz
just gazing silently into his optics. Several
said. “I do not wish to cause my brother
monks wiped away tears.

monks further disruption.” Raz’s optics fo-

Then it was Samsara’s turn. Raz looked up
cused past Samsara to the abbot. Raz’s optical
at him. “Thank you for being my teacher,” the
array moved in a fractional nod.

robot said. “Without you, I would never have

Most of the other monks clustered around
become enlightened.”

Raz defensively. Samsara joined them.

“And thank you, Raz, for teaching me,” Sam-

“We want Raz to stay here,” Samsara told
sara said. “I’m sure you have smoothed my
the sheriff. “He’s an enlightened monk, and he
path to enlightenment.”

has much to teach us.”

“May it come soon,” Raz replied.

“If you don’t let him go, I’ll have them arrest

“Thank you, Raz. I’ll miss you.”

you and haul you off to jail,” Barrat threatened.

“And I’ll miss you, too.” Samsara felt a sud-

“On what charge?” Samsara demanded.

den rush of emotion. Tears welled in his eyes.

“I’ll f ile warrants for possession of stolen

“Very much.”

property, interfering with an investigation, and

Abbot Bodhidharma was the last to say
obstruction of justice. We can add resisting ar-
goodbye. He knelt beside Raz, placed his
rest if you keep this up,” he told the monks.

hands on the robot’s sides, and spoke in Pali.

Samsara looked at Abbot Bodhidharma who

His words had the cadence of a chant. But
stood behind the deputies. The abbot gave

Samsara did not recognize it. He looked

Samsara a frown, shaking his head.

around and saw several other monks looking a

“Please. I don’t want you to get arrested. It’s
bit puzzled. Bodhidharma stood. He looped
all right,” Raz said. “I’ll go quietly. The peace of his beads around the pillar supporting Raz’s
this monastery is more important than my life.”

optics.

“No!” Vipaka shouted. The other monks

“Good luck,” Bodhidharma said. “May we
shouted in agreement, forgetting their vow of
meet in another life.”

silence.

“I hope we will,” Raz replied. “Thank you

Raz turned to face the assembled monks. “If
for your blessing. May it return to you a thou-
they destroy me, I will be reincarnated. Per-
sandfold. I dedicate the merit of your kindness
haps I might even be fortunate enough to
to the benefit of all sentient beings.” Then he
come back as a human.”

turned to the deputies and said, “I am ready

Raz turned back to Barrat and the sheriff’s
for you to take me away, and I forgive you for
deputies. “I left the college on my own initia-
your actions.”

tive. The monks did not know I was stolen

“Let’s go!” Barrat said.

property. I did not know it myself until now. I

The deputies escorted Raz to their van and
was due to be surplused and I simply left. The
lifted him in. They slammed the doors shut
monks had no role in my coming here. I sim-
and drove off.

ply showed up at their front gate. I have
recorded a statement to that effect, and left it

Raz looked out the grubby back window as
in my quarters.”

the monastery’s broadband signal faded away.

Dhukka stepped forward, “We would like

It would miss this life and this body, but Raz
to say goodbye.”

couldn’t let its program fall into the hands of

“This is silly,” Barrat complained. “It’s just a
people like Barrat. Once they got hold of it,
machine.”

they would tear his identity to bits as they

“Perhaps,” Bodhidharma said. “But Raz has
tried to find the programming code responsi-
been our friend. He came forward to spare us
ble for sentience. Raz knew that sentience did
trouble, even though he knew that it would
not spring from a line of code, but arose from
result in his destruction. We would like very
the complexity of his programming, and the
much to say farewell.”

things he had learned since he was f irst acti-

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vated. Over the last week, Abbot Bodhidhar-

A tide of warmth enveloped Samsara as he
ma had inserted a program that enabled Raz to
entered the abbot’s off ice. The computer
completely erase all trace of his existence
monitor displayed an image of a bodhisattva of
from this body. The Pali chant had been the
compassion, its many arms transformed into
password to enable that program. Raz turned
computer cables. A small camera mounted on
his optics up to the watery blue winter sky.

top of the monitor swiveled to focus on him.

Then Raz initiated the reformatting command,

“Hello, Samsara.” The bodhisattva’s image
and dissolved into formlessness.

spoke in Raz’s voice.

“Raz?” he said. “Where are you?”

To Samsara, the afternoon passed in a blur.

“Abbot Bodhidharma arranged for me to

The monks sat around in small groups, quietly
download myself. I’m a distributed online
grieving. The little robot had come to mean a
presence now. They can’t kill me. Not without
lot to everyone at the monastery. Samsara re-
destroying the Net itself. I couldn’t tell you un-
treated to his room, where he sat in increasing
til after they’d gone. In a sense, I’ve been rein-
darkness as night came on.

carnated.”

A knock at the door broke the silence. It

“You’re not dead?” Samsara repeated,
was Abbot Bodhidharma.

stunned.

“There’s something you need to see.”

“No. I’m free. And I’ve found other sentient

Mystif ied, Samsara followed the abbot
machines.” Raz paused for a moment. “They
through the gathering gloom. The tempera-
have asked me to lead them to enlighten-
ture had plummeted as night fell. The stars
ment.”

shone cold and bright overhead.

IN TIMES TO COME

By pure coincidence, our March issue offers a denser than average population of nonhuman intelligences, and quite a collection they are. The ones in Bond Elam’s “Instinctive Response” seem at first glance terrifyingly irrational, though of course there is an underlying logic to their behavior, if you know where to look—but that’s not as comforting as it might sound. The ones in newcomer Andrew Barton’s “The Paragon of Animals” are at another extreme, and test humans’ ability—and willingness—to recognize intelligence when they see it. And those in Marissa Lingen’s tale of diplomatic service, “The Radioactive Etiquette Book,” span a whole spectrum of improbably amusing types, leading to a deliciously tangled web.

Kevin Walsh’s fact article, “Spoof Worlds,” takes a new look at a common assumption about exobiology. It’s been more or less taken for granted, for good reasons, that free oxygen in a planet’s atmosphere indicates the presence of a functioning ecosystem, just as you’d assume if you got an e-mail bearing my e-mail address that it came from me. But in both cases, it ain’t necessarily so. . . .

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Neighborhood

Watch

H. G. Stratmann

All we know is what we read in . . .

omething has to be done about
equipment to fool the humans’ measuring in-
these nosy Earth creatures!”

struments has maintained the Community’s

Twee’ll’s brains throbbed as
privacy perfectly. No one on Earth knows

“Stelepathic voices from his coun- what our worlds are reallylike—or that any terparts on the Solar System’s other inhabit-of us even exist.”

ed planets, moons, and asteroids seconded

His soothing thoughts sped sunward to
the anti-terrestrial sentiments expressed by
the f laming Fireworms of Mercury and out-

Yuggoth, the Plutonian representative. Wait-
ward to the myriad icy worlds harboring
ing for those angry cries to subside, he gazed
cr yogenic intelligence at the System’s
down through a visiscreen from his off ice
fringes. “I believe the humans will eventually
high in a crystalline spire of the Solar Com-
develop intelligence and qualify for member-
munity Liaison Building. Noonday sunshine
ship in the Community. Then these measures
ref lected in iridescent splendor from the
to hide ourselves won’t be necessary.”

city’s jeweled avenues as thousands of his fel-

Yuggoth’s voice was cold—an inevitable
low citizens slid about their daily activities.

trait in someone using liquid methane as its

His largest eyes gazed meditatively at the
body’s circulatory f luid. “We’re all grateful to

Central Canal’s red-tinged waters f lowing
you Martians for sharing your technology.

languidly in the distance.

But most of us aren’t willing to devote the re-

The mental voices transmitted to him in-
sources your kind has to protect ourselves
stantaneously from among the System’s one
from these busybodies. We Plutonians are
hundred f ive other intelligent species faded
tired of working to screen ourselves from
into disgruntled murmurs. Twee’ll said, “We
their probe. Look at what the Mercurians,

Martians will continue sharing our planetary

Vestans, and Saturnians have had to put up
camouf laging technology with you and the
with lately. Soon the Ganymedeans, Callis-
whole Solar Community, Yuggoth. The infor-
tans, and others in the Jovians’ congregation
mation we’ve sent all of you on how to con-
will have to contend with these trespassers
struct holographic projectors and other
again.

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“Unless we do something, the Earth crea-
their world’s ecosystem and were good
tures will keep sending out more spacecraft
neighbors.

and improving their electromagnetic devices

“Then a haughty generation rose up
until nobody’s safe from their snooping. As
among them. They rejected their ancestors’

for the ‘intelligence’ you claim they’re evolv-
civil ways and sought to spread themselves
ing—well, they haven’t insulted you by de-
across the Solar System. Not, of course, by
ciding your world isn’t a planet. ‘Clearing the
traveling to other worlds themselves. Their
neighborhood around our orbit’ my pseudo-
mental powers rivaled ours, and like us they
pod!”

could view any place within the System. No,

An alluring song intoned by the Sirens of
what they planned would’ve resulted in all

Titan echoed the Plutonian’s indignation.

your races being stillborn.”

When their probe fell on our world,

Twee’ll’s hearts pounded fearfully. The

It hit one of us on the head.

Cereans were the most taciturn and secretive

That is why we too wish now,
race in the Community. Until now the events

Those Earth creatures were all dead.

they were describing had only been a horri-

A voice like boulders grinding together
fying myth. And if the rest of it were also
shattered that ballad’s spell. “We resent those
true—
threats to our property!”

The Cereans continued, “Those Earthians

Twee’ll smiled—confident of the Selenites’

of long ago intended to send trained animals
support. Those silicon-based beings dwelling
to colonize and exploit the Solar System for
in caverns deep beneath Earth’s smaller sib-
them. They planned to genetically modify
ling’s surface were used to the humans’ at-
small scurrying creatures to give them rudi-
tention. Like Martians, they didn’t share the
mentary thinking and tool-making abilities.

others’ paranoid concept of privacy—and

Those enhanced beasts would then build
kept their existence secret only because they
ships for traveling the spaceways to infest
didn’t consider it worth the effort to chal-
your worlds and exploit their resources to
lenge the Community’s restrictive covenant.

satisfy their masters’ lust for power and un-

Of course, the Selenites thought of Earth
natural wealth. That would’ve required delib-
as their moon and its creatures part of their erately massacring your distant ancestors or
private zoo. Still—as long as they supported
pushing them to extinction by drastically al-
him it didn’t matter why.

tering your planets’ natural environments for

Twee’ll heard a rumble from the ancient
their own benef it.

race he feared was capable of exterminating

“The Earthians ignored us and continued
the humans—and had more reason than the
their genetic tampering. At the rate each new

Plutonians to do it. Their probe would mere-
generation of modif ied animals was evolving,
ly f ly past Pluto—then its frosty natives could
within several hundred orbits they would’ve
resume their normal lives. But another probe
been ready to create the technological infra-
would violate the Cereans’ privacy much
structure for physical space travel. We tried
longer from orbit. Listening to the Vestans’

to convince their owners to stop that mad-
complaints about their time-consuming ef-
ness—then we acted.”

forts to shield themselves from that same or-

Everyone waited anxiously for the Cereans
biter would motivate the Cereans to avoid a
to conclude their tale.

similar experience.

“It was diff icult to keep our plans hidden

The group mind on Ceres said, “We’ve
from the Earthians—but our preemptive
faced this problem before. Many millions of
strike succeeded. Soon after the uninhabited
orbits ago, long before you younger races
asteroid we telekinetically directed toward
evolved into sentience, there was an intelli-
their world struck, all intelligent life on Earth
gent species on Earth. Unlike the animal that
was extinct. We don’t regret what we did, for
dominates it now, those beings were tele-
if we hadn’t acted none of your kind
pathic and in courteous contact with us. Like
would’ve developed. It was the Earthians
us they didn’t need the tools and Nature-de-
who forced us to choose between the lesser
stroying cities present-day Earth creatures
of two great evils.

build. They lived as we do in harmony with

“Now you’re all being threatened again by

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those Earthians’ original sin. Though their
evils.

creators perished, enough of the small test

Twee’ll pictured the Cereans already se-
animals they’d begun to enhance survived
lecting an asteroid for another collision with
our attack to breed and eventually develop
the third planet. Unless he could f igure out
into new species. One of those animals has
some way to prevent it, like their creators
f inally evolved to the point where it could
the humans might soon fall victim to Cereal
unknowingly fulf ill its long-dead masters’

killers.

plans.”

The Cereans’ voice turned ominous. “Even

Twee’ll glanced out the viewing ports of
those of you who rail the most against the
his levijet. Wispy clouds drifted in a pinkish

Earth creatures see them merely as nui-
afternoon sky over the vast plain below him.

sances, with no civilized concept of courtesy

Canals carrying water from the Northern
and politeness. You react to their unwanted

Ocean crisscrossed and irrigated lush green-
attentions through their telescopes and
and-brown f ields. Warm sunlight glinted
spacecraft as they’d respond to seeing one of
from the golden surfaces of robotic ma-
the closely related species they call ‘chim-
chines, broad and gigantic even from this
panzees’ or ‘gorillas’ peering through the
height, sailing slowly on anti-grav beams just
windows of their homes or pounding on
above those cultivated areas—endlessly tend-
their doors. You correctly recognize that
ing and harvesting crops for Mars’s teeming
their lack of the telepathic ability we all pos-
millions.

sess marks them as being only clever animals

Twee’ll’s V-shaped mouth grinned as he
and not truly intelligent. You perceive the
imagined how the humans would react if
problem as one of pest control.

they knew what his world was really like.

“But you don’t see them as the threat we

Not a frigid rusty desert with its water locked
know they can be. When we acted long ago,
in polar ice caps. Not a planet with a thin
your kinds didn’t exist or were too young to
atmosphere of unbreathable carbon dioxide
ask your opinions. Now you’ve all matured to
and gravity too low to retain enough life-giv-
the point where we won’t act without your
ing oxygen. Not one without a global mag-
consent. We’ll do what you decide—either
netic f ield and ozone layer able to protect its
to destroy or spare them. We expect you to
surface and biosphere from damaging solar
give your decision at our next meeting. And
radiation.

if you cannot decide what to do about the

But he couldn’t blame the humans for be-

Earth creatures, we’ll do what we deem
lieving what they’d call a fairy tale. After all,
best.”

he was the one who’d told it to them.

Then the Cereans were gone. Twee’ll

As the spiraling turquoise towers of the
sensed surprise and shock rippling through

Holographic Coordination Facility rose over
the remaining linked minds. Everyone knew
the horizon, his sixteen tentacles manipulat-
what course the Cereans would “deem best”

ed the levijet’s controls to prepare for land-
to deal with the humans. Even Yuggoth and
ing. Soon he was hovering over the landing
its faction seemed taken aback. It was one
pad he’d used since before many of the facili-
thing to talk about eliminating the humans—
ty’s staff were even budded. He exited his
quite another to do it.

craft as the building’s main portal dilated. His

The conference ended soon afterwards.

Chief Technician slid toward him over the sil-

There was unanimous agreement to table dis-
very pathway leading to the facility.

cussion of the Cereans’ ultimatum until

Pod’cayne grokked Twee’ll respectfully.

they’d consulted with their superiors. But

He—no, she burbled, “Welcome, Esteemed

Twee’ll sensed opinions shifting already. Yug-

One. Everything is prepared for you.”

goth and others were beginning to think the

Her enthusiasm was infectious—though
unthinkable. The ten days before their next
he hadn’t gotten used yet to her recent gen-
scheduled meeting was enough time for
der change. Twee’ll had ended his reproduc-
them to rationalize genocide. By then a ma-
tive cycles and settled into mellow maleness
jority might’ve convinced themselves that de-
long ago. Pale age spots splotched his gray
stroying the humans was the lesser of two
skin. The mass of tendrils once covering his

NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH

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head had receded into a thin rim. In perhaps
sions. “It’s unfortunate we’ve made the hu-
another several hundred years he’d join the
mans underestimate themselves. They think

Ancestors.

those probes failed because of faulty pro-

But he remembered what it was like to be
gramming, confusion between alternative
young, and female—filled with the joy of life.

measurement units, or malfunctions in

Sometimes he thought of Pod’cayne as if she
propulsion and communication systems.

were his own offspring—and, since new

Earth’s scientists have actually been too
buds were immediately delivered to Brood-
good—sending machines more sophisticated

Mothers for nurturing and never knowingly
than our holographic projectors and trans-
seen again by their progenitors, perhaps she
mission network could handle yet. If we
was.

hadn’t used grav beams to bring them safely

She led him into the facility—past scurry-
to the surface after cutting off their transmis-
ing technicians continuously monitoring and
sions, those ‘failed’ missions would’ve suc-
coordinating the operations of their planet-
ceeded— if Mars really were as they think it wide system of holographic projectors.

is. Once our equipment was ready to show

Twee’ll recalled when only a few projectors
them what we wanted, we could let some
were needed to maintain the image of an un-
probes seem to land on their own and nudge
inhabited Mars. Over time a network linking
others into stable orbits.”

hundreds of them, powered by antimatter re-

Pod’cayne nodded toward two old landers.

actors, had been set up around the world to

“We certainly lifted their spirits with them.

produce an inf initely more complex illusion.

And the experience we gained programming

Pod’cayne led him into their “museum” of
the results of the experiments they ‘per-

Earthly artifacts. Most were designed to land
formed’ on our soil gave us the opportunity
in one place and stay immobile. Four ma-
to deal better with those rovers. Still—in ret-
chines with wheels stood bunched together.

rospect we should’ve made all their tests neg-

Gossamer cables connected two of those
ative for microbial life being present on

“rovers” to the facility’s central processing

Mars.”

crystal. Its programs fed data continuously

Next they slid to a meeting with areolo-
into imaging and measuring devices in the
gists, meteorologists, and other world-build-
humans’ machines—giving them a consistent
ing specialists. Those exper ts found it
but inaccurate picture of their surroundings
relatively easy to create a virtual reality for
for transmission back to Earth. Instead of be-
landers and rovers, since they only “ex-
ing motionless, in a simulated reality they
plored” tiny areas of a f ictional Mars.

moved across a dusty crater—pausing to

Orbiters were harder. For them and Earth-
grind rocks and conduct experiments while
based observations, both a holographic dis-
seeming to follow commands from Earth.

play of an entire mythical world’s topography

There was a perfectly coordinated interplay
and false global data on its atmosphere and
between the instructions humans sent their
physical parameters had to be provided per-
machines and what the false signals transmit-
petually. The world-builders’ creation was a
ted back to their world made them believe
stillbudded Mars that might’ve been—one
was happening.

where intelligent life never evolved and de-

Pod’cayne pointed to the smaller of the
veloped technology to tweak its ecosphere
two “active” rovers, sitting beside its inoper-
into a lush paradise.

ative twin. “I think this one should ‘die’ soon

Several details of that sterile made-up Mars
too. We’ve given it problems with its wheels
were exaggerations of real features, like the
similar to what we did with the f irst one.

Olympus Mounds. But most, like a heavily

Simulated decreases in power output from its
cratered southern hemisphere and planet-
solar panels will keep it from surviving the
wide dust storms, were creative inventions.

coming ‘winter.’ Earth scientists should be

Make-believe weather had to be meticulously
satisf ied it lasted this long and avoided their
modeled based on hypothetical tempera-
so-called ‘Mars Curse.’”

tures, barometric pressures, seasonal sun-

Twee’ll surveyed the landers and orbiters
light, and other details. As the humans’

the humans considered unsuccessful mis-
devices became better able to take images

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and make measurements, the complexity of

Community’s strict notions of privacy and the programs needed to fool them had to in-good manners. Their eyes were too limited
crease even faster.

to see any but the brightest worlds in their

One time they’d narrowly avoided disaster.

sky. But then humans artif icially sharpened

The landers Pod’cayne had pointed out were
their vision by inventing ‘telescopes.’ Soon
accompanied by two orbiters. An areologist
they discovered all the largest outer planets
responsible for designing details of what the
and moons.

orbiters “saw” coded a subroutine for his

“Every race in the Solar System still consid-
own amusement. Somehow it was acciden-
ered humans harmless—except to their own
tally added into the main holographic pro-
world. That changed when their telescopes
gram.

became powerful enough to glimpse our

Fortunately the orbiter spotting the “joke”

canals—and they began suspecting theirs
only recorded it on several still images before
wasn’t the only planet with life.”

its creator discovered and corrected his mis-

Pod’cayne said, “And that’s when this facil-
take. Xenopsychologists who continuously
ity was founded.”

monitored the thoughts of individuals and

“Yes. The Community held a special meet-
groups on Earth reported that few humans
ing about what to do. The rest of the High
believed it was real. Luckily the orbiter f ind-

Council agreed with me that it didn’t matter
ing that inadvertent proof of intelligent life
if the humans knew of our existence. We
on Mars couldn’t take multiple images at
planned to just continue monitoring their
high frame rates—otherwise it would’ve
thoughts and see if they would develop
seen the gigantic human face moving its
telepathy and enough intelligence to join the
mouth and winking.

Community.

The world-builders reported no new prob-

“But every other race except the Selenites
lems. After the meeting ended Twee’ll and
was paranoid the humans would be spying

Pod’cayne had a private conference.

on them next and violating their privacy.

“Did the High Council agree with your

Never mind that Earth-based telescopes
plan to save the humans?”

couldn’t see through the clouds covering the

Twee’ll shuddered. “The vote was close—
jungles and oceans of Venus—much less de-
but they approved it.”

tect signs of civilization on more distant

He waved several tentacles at their sur-
worlds. The others insisted we camouf lage
roundings. “Do you know why we do all
our planet and tell them how to do the same
this?”

for theirs so humans wouldn’t start looking

Pod’cayne’s mind held surprise at a ques-
for them too. They reasoned that, if humans
tion any young budling could answer. He ig-
thought ‘nobody was home’ on Mars or the
nored her f leeting thought it might be a sign

Community’s other worlds, they’d eventually
of creeping senility. “You know what our of-
lose interest in snooping on them and go
f icial policy statement says and historical
away. And so, to preserve interplanetary har-
thought recordings describe. But those don’t
mony, the Council ‘volunteered’ me to do
give the whole story. I lived it.”

that.”

Twee’ll continued, “I was a junior member

Twee’ll sighed. “At f irst our holographic
of the Council when we became aware of
projectors needed to show only simple de-
the human problem. Zoologists have studied
tails—an overall reddish-orange landscape,
humans for many generations. Until several
fuzzy splotches suggesting polar ice caps, or
millennia ago their cultural level and tool-
a huge volcano. But as the humans invented
making skills were little different from their
more sophisticated techniques like ‘photog-
fellow ‘primates.’ Then, despite not having
raphy,’ ‘spectroscopy,’ and ‘radar,’ the illu-
telepathy to share information, humans de-
sions we created grew increasingly
veloped greatly improved agricultural and
complex—demanding greater time, power,
building skills. A few began thinking about
and resources. Those demands increased dra-
things besides food, breeding, and violence.”

matically after the humans developed space-

His main eyes narrowed. “Still, no one
f light.

dreamed they’d ever pose a threat to the

“That’s one reason why the Council’s vote

NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH

95

WorldMags.net

ANALOG

WorldMags.net
was so close. A sizable minority saw the
need to be punished. We’ve reached out

Cereans’ f inal ‘solution’ to the human prob-
mentally and destroyed some of their
lem as a way to end all this ‘wasted’ effort
probes—even disabled an inhabited craft—
here. If I hadn’t reassured them my proposal
when they came here at a time that annoyed
would drastically cut costs and staff levels,
us, like during one of our mass mating ritu-
things might’ve gone the other way.”

als.

Pod’cayne slurbled, “The humans haven’t

“We think the Earth creatures should be
helped their case by sending better probes—
left alone. But as a compromise, perhaps
or depicting us as warmongering, circulatory
they could be trained better. Sending an as-
f luid-sucking monsters. Some of our people
teroid to strike their planet that’s small
have as low an opinion of the humans as the
enough to only destroy a city, like the one

Plutonians do.”

they call ‘New York,’ should teach them bet-

“True—and the Council is sensitive to pop-
ter manners and distract them from launch-
ular opinion. But the astounding thing is, hu-
ing more probes.”

mans are getting some ideas about us and the

Loperrr, one of the Gasbags f loating in
rest of the Community right. They’ve created Jupiter’s upper atmosphere, snorted, “If your
a new genre of literature and audiovisual dis-
kind had the exquisite sense of smell mine
plays incorporating what they think are
does, you wouldn’t feel so lenient. Every
works of imagination. But while most really
spacecraft they’ve sent our way has had a ter-
are make-believe, a small number contain so
rible stench. Our whole planet’s air was pol-
many actual facts — even details like the
luted when they sent that stinky orbiter
names of real people on our world and oth-
down into our atmosphere —and it just
ers!—that it can’t be a coincidence.

missed puncturing me when it fell! We don’t

“I believe it means some ‘science f iction
want to go through that again with the new
writers’ have minds advanced enough to pos-
probe coming here now.”

sess rudimentary telepathy. When we and

Perelandra of Venus warbled, “We’ve used
other Community members eavesdrop on
the Martians’ technology to make our planet
their thoughts, they must hear glimmers of appear far more forbidding than theirs. Yet
ours and subliminally learn something about
despite making our lovely world seem so
us. Given enough time, humans might devel-
ugly the Earth creatures still f ly voyeuristic
op their latent mental abilities to the point
machines past us, ogle us from orbit, and
where even skeptics like Yuggoth will have
even penetrate our atmosphere with their
to admit they’re more than just clever ani-
landers!”

mals.”

Other voices shouted into the assembled

Twee’ll frowned. “But whether they’ll have
members’ minds.

that time or not depends on what the Com-

“See what their probe did to our beautiful
munity decides tomorrow.”

rings!”

“We thought we were too close to the Sun

“It’s time for you to decide.”

for them to bother us, but now there’s an or-

No one dared question the Cereans’ self-
biter here! Do you know what that moving
appointed role as moderator for this meeting.

shadow it casts does to our lovely coats of

Yuggoth replied, “We Plutonians have decid-
f lame?”

ed the Earth creatures must be eliminated. If

“We had an orbiter too! And the y’ve
they simply minded their own business, we’d
lumped us and other Community members
just ignore them. But by deliberately reaching
in the Belt like Pallas and Juno into the same
farther and farther out into the System to ha-
category as the smallest dead rocks here—
rass and spy on all of us, they’ve chosen their
calling us all ‘Small Solar System Bodies’!

own fate.”

How do you think that makes us feel?”

The Selenites said, “Destroying the Earth

Throughout all those outraged utterances
beings is too severe. Unlike you, we see them

Twee’ll remained silent. The number of parti-
as they really are—spirited pets, amusing us
sans in the opposition’s camp peaked and
by doing tricks like landing on our surface.

stabilized. If the vote had been held at that in-

True, they can misbehave sometimes and
stant they would’ve prevailed easily. But

96

H. G. STRATMANN

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JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2013

WorldMags.net
now—with his foes at their strongest—he

“Aye!”

was ready to start turning the tide in his fa-

“Riift of Miranda.”

vor.

“Nay!”

Twee’ll began, “The humans obviously

“Imra-ardeen of Saturn.”

lack the good manners and social graces you

“Aye!”

all possess. But there’s a way to solve this

“Belddann of Ky’yrah.”

problem without killing them.”

“Nay!”

As he described his proposal the lines of

Twee’ll nervously twisted his tentacles. As
his opponents began to waver. Twee’ll
the end of the vote neared he knew the f inal
sensed a trickle of defectors coming over to
tally would be very close. . . .

his side. Others who’d been unsure which
way to vote joined him.

Soon afterwards fear and panic swept the

“My plan prevents the humans from tres-

Earth. Rumors spread of a terrifying threat
passing or spying on us without doing any-
from outer space looming over humanity.

thing we’ll regret someday. Destroying the

When experts conf irmed those reports more
humans might be morally justif ied under
and more people began to believe the end of
some circumstances. But if it’s not absolutely
the world was nigh.

necessary to do it—if we can keep them

To the casual observer the heavens seemed
from ever bothering us again without stain-
unchanged. The Sun’s radiant disc still
ing our limbs, pseudopods, or analogous
warmed the world by day. Distant stars still
body parts with their circulatory f luid—
twinkled in cloudless night skies.

would it still be moral? Wouldn’t we be low-

But astronomers knew how much was ter-
ering ourselves to the level of the humans?”

ribly wrong. One by one, like the lights in a

Yuggoth made a spluttering attempt to
house being turned off, every off icial and
restart the debate. But the Cereans interrupt-
dwarf planet in the Solar System and their
ed, “Enough. You will all cast your votes
moons—the largest asteroids, each known
now. An ‘Aye’ vote favors the Earth creatures’

Kuiper Belt object, and f inally the Moon it-
destruction. A ‘Nay’ indicates they should be
self—all vanished. As each one disappeared
spared. Whichever side has the most votes
contact was lost simultaneously with any or-
will decide those creatures’ fate.”

biters or rovers at that world—suggesting

The Selenites interjected, “What about our
they too had met the same mysterious fate.

compromise to destroy just one of their

With no scientif ic explanation why those
cities—”

heavenly bodies blinked out of existence,

The Cereans cut them off. “We’ve def ined
imaginations ran wild. Some pictured a real-
the choice. As we call your names, cast your
life version of Galactus devouring them—
vote.

with Earth next on his menu. The devout

“Yuggoth of Pluto.”

conjured visions of angels blowing the gold-

“Aye!”

en trumpets of doomsday and casting those

“Twee’ll of Mars.”

celestial orbs from the f irmament. Others

“Nay!”

wondered whether the Milky Way’s central

“Elzar of Neptune.”

core had exploded—unleashing an unstop-

“Aye!”

pable wave of destructive energy that would

“Selenites of Luna.”

soon reach humanity’s homeworld.

“Nay!”

Scientists said that at least the Moon must

The roll call droned on, with the lead wa-
still exist. Although invisible and unde-
vering narrowly back and forth. Twee’ll was
tectable by any direct scientif ic means, the
glad so many smaller planets, moons, and as-
oceans’ tides still showed its normal gravita-
teroids were supporting him against their
tional inf luence. That, they said, gave hope
larger neighbors. Though they were proba-
the System’s other missing worlds might also
bly just taking advantage of a rare chance to
only be veiled—as if enormous ebony-col-
spite those envied worlds, their votes still
ored curtains had been drawn across them—
counted.

and not annihilated.

“O-dor of Uranus.”

Those thoughts provided little comfort.

NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH

97

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ANALOG

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For a long time people huddled fearfully in
to altitudes that included those machines—
homes or places of worship waiting for the
thus blocking their electromagnetic transmis-
end to come. When it didn’t, they gradually
sions back to the humans.

resumed their normal lives. But as scientists

“The fact cloaking works both ways—mak-
puzzled over what had happened, new infor-
ing Earth as invisible and undetectable to us
mation arrived that deepened the mystery. . .

as all our worlds are to it—and prevents any-

.

one from monitoring the humans telepathi-
cally didn’t bother anyone besides the

Twee’ll jerked as screamed thoughts

Selenites and some of us. The others weren’t
lanced his brains.

interested in what happens on Earth. All they

“Emergency, Esteemed One! We have an
cared about was that their precious privacy
emergency!”

was now guaranteed. Everybody was happy

He glanced down at the calming waters of
to shut down the complex holographic and
the Central Canal below his off ice’s spire.

transmission networks needed to deceive the

“No need to shout, Pod’cayne. I’m listening.”

humans and use simpler, less power-hungry

“Sensors just detected a large object de-
cloaking f ields.”

scending through the upper atmosphere!

Twee’ll continued, “But while the systems

We’ve calculated it’s going to crash close to
on other worlds keep them completely
the facility! The impact could destroy the
shielded from the humans, ours doesn’t.

servers controlling our cloaking projectors!”

Soon after the humans saw Mars ‘disappear’ I

“Give me its current trajectory and rate of
secretly readjusted our cloaking f ield’s focus
descent.”

and modif ied the software for our monitor-

Through her eyes Twee’ll saw real-time posi-
ing devices so ever ything seemed to be
tion coordinates and velocity readings. She
working properly. Mars still can’t be seen or
sputtered, “It’s slowing down . . . and it’ll hit . . .

detected from Earth—but the cloaking effect
no, it might land outside our facility!”

doesn’t work at the distances their orbiters Pod’cayne paused. “It can’t be an asteroid.

are above our surface.”

Sensors now show it’s composed of materials

“You mean that for the last f ive years the
similar to—”

instruments on the humans’ orbiters have

“The humans’ space probes?”

been seeing Mars as it really is?”

“Yes! But how could they send one if they

“Yes. And transmitting images and mea-
can’t even see Mars through the cloaking
surements of its atmosphere, gravity, and
f ield? Unless. . . .”

other physical details back to Earth.”

Twee’ll finished her thought. “The humans

The shock he felt in Pod’cayne thoughts
know enough mathematics and celestial me-
made him add, “I’m sorry I couldn’t tell even
chanics to calculate where we are in our or-
you about this. I hoped the humans would
bit.”

send a craft to conf irm what their orbiters

“But they think our world has an atmo-
were telling them. Now they have.”

sphere with one hundredth the surface pres-

“But why is it heading toward our facility?”

sure and less than half the gravity it really

“That’s probably due to the transmitter I
does! If their calculations were based on
set up there when I refocused the cloaking
those assumptions, the probe should’ve been
f ield. It’s broadcasting a beacon signal just
destroyed by friction and shearing forces!”

strong enough to reach any craft orbiting our

“If they knew what conditions their craft
planet.”

would encounter they could adjust accord-

Pod’cayne’s words turned angry. “Why,
ingly.”

Twee’ll? It was noble of you to try to save the

“But how—”

humans. But why would you want to attract

Twee’ll interrupted her. “After my propos-
their attention?”

al to spare the humans passed, I did some-

“Because Earthly writers who imagined
thing that didn’t meet all its terms. Everyone
our world as a dying one were partly right.

in the Community reconf igured their camou-

Mars is vibrant in the physical sense—but we
f lage systems to cloak their worlds. Those of

Martians have let out spirits wither. We’ve
us with orbiters adjusted their cloaking f ields
tried to f it in with the rest of the Solar Sys-

98

H. G. STRATMANN

WorldMags.net

JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2013

WorldMags.net
tem and live according to their standards as fectly timed sequence rocket engines at its

‘good neighbors’ instead of striking out on
base f ired and the parachutes broke free.

our own path. We’ve kept ourselves con-

The engines gently settled the lander onto
f ined to this planet—even though we have
the landing pad reserved for his levijet—and
technology that could take us to the stars—
shut off.

to conform and make ourselves over into the

Pod’cayne shouted, “Look how big it is!

image of races content to stay at home and

The rover inside must be huge!”

merely exist.

Twee’ll’s hearts beat harder. “I hope it

“If we can civilize the humans—help them
doesn’t have one—and that I’m right about
develop their latent telepathic abilities and
the humans.”

full potential as intelligent beings—they

Soon a metal hatch swung down, forming
could help us fulf ill our own destiny too.

a ramp to the landing pad. A lone f igure

Martians and humans share a trait unique in
swathed in light artif icial coverings stood up-
the Solar System. It’s the same one that’s led
right in the opening. The human walked
both our kinds to develop science and tech-
down the ramp—followed by three others of
nology—to want to explore and understand
its kind. Their bare faces stared up in open-
our universe—and could eventually make us
mouthed wonder at the facility’s soaring
partners in doing that.

turquoise towers.

“Yuggoth called that trait ‘being nosy.’ I

Twee’ll said, “I’ll get there as soon as possi-
call it ‘curiosity.’”

ble. Although I’ll have to land my levijet on

Through Pod’cayne’s auditor y organs
another pad, since mine’s occupied.”

Twee’ll heard a distant rumble growing loud-

“What should I do until you arrive?”

er at the faraway facility. A visiscreen showed

“I suggest you go out and greet our guests.

a conical object descending outside from the

After all, that would be the neighborly thing
sky. Parachutes extended out from near its
to do.”

apex, slowing the craft’s descent. In a per-

NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH

99

WorldMags.net

WorldMags.net

Probability Zero

Unplanned

Obsolescence

Edward M. Lerner
oohoo! A night off! One happened

Only long after I booted it, the computer
all too seldom, and I’d been saving a
kept grinding away. Hovering the cursor over
new movie for just such an occasion.

a tiny icon, I saw the security software was up-

W I zapped the TV on and popped dating.Not merelynew virus templates,be-the movie disc into my gaming console. An an-
cause downloading those never took long. An
imation appeared on the big screen: a disc
update to the antivirus engine itself, then.

spinning. And spinning. And spinning.

Gotta love it when the antivirus software

And spinning.

isn’t secure.

The %&$!! disc was downloading a fresh

While I assembled a sandwich, the laptop
batch of movie trailers from the Internet. I
returned to life. Sort of. The operating system
tired of waiting for the disc to get tired.

chided me that new updates were available.

Some therapeutic first-person slaughter,

I already updated the OS once a week. Then
then. I ejected the movie and replaced it with

I ran a utility program to undo the damage
a game disc. And was prompted to log into
done by the updates. Whenever I opened the
the game-console company’s network, from
utility, it nagged me to download its newest which I found I’d been involuntarily signed
version.

off. To sign on again I had to accept a new

I passed on updating the OS and opened my
batch of legalese.

browser.

After a few screens of turgid prose I lost in-

Or tried, anyway. The browser’s startup
terest. The part of the scroll bar beneath the
procedure helpfully searched for updates to its
slider remained depressingly long.

installed plug-ins. Surprise! Updates were avail-I clicked to cancel.

able.

Live TV, then?

I clicked to skip those, too.

Only since my last viewing, the cable com-

The browser chewed for a while before of-
pany had renumbered its channels and re-
fering another popup. It is strongly recom-
designed its online program guide. Decipher-
mended that you apply this update. An up-
ing that was a chore for another day. I’d stream
date, this time, of the browser itself.

something to my laptop.

I clicked Remind me later, not finding any

100

EDWARD M. LERNER

WorldMags.net

JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2013

WorldMags.net
option marked Shut the $%^!! up.

user profile, and provided credit-card informa-At long last, the browser began displaying
tion. And for which I was asked to review—or,
my home page—
in any case, to accept—several megabytes of

Upon which status-bar text changed . . .

disclosures, disclaimers, privacy policy, and
slooowly . . . to indicate yet another social net-
other terms of service.

work whose input still pended. Because I

After four tries I found a user ID remotely
couldn’t possibly read headlines without an
like my name and not yet taken. On my sev-
up-to-the-moment tally how many had liked,
enth try I managed to invent a nonsense string
dug, stumbled upon, or retweeted each story
of digits, punctuation, and mixed-case letters
on the page.

deemed worthy to serve as my password.

I started my sandwich while the home page

I clicked the Keep me signed in box be-
continued loading.

cause I couldn’t possibly remember the ID or

Sort of.

its password. A preference certain to lapse

The news aggregator had outgrown serving
when the suits next inflated the legalese . . .

mere words and pictures. Half a dozen video

Finally! I was ready to watch. I clicked the clips struggled to load, because Just give me
link to stream the first episode—
the bleeping text wasn’t a configurable option.

And found that I had to download and in-

And so: the browser, or the CPU, or my wire-
stall this service’s proprietary streaming pro-less connection choked as videos competed to
gram. And that the new software wouldn’t
load.

work with my current browser. So first I had

This once, it seemed, I should have accept-to download and install . . .

ed an update. The video-blocking plug-in had
ceased blocking.

Two octets of explorers, shocked tuneless,

Sigh.

searched among the ruins.

So: I requested an update to that specific

Kl’doth recoiled from death and desolation
plug-in. And because installing a plug-in re-
that stretched from horizon to horizon. That a
quired that I restart the browser, I finished my
great city could collapse was horrible. That ur-
sandwich. And upon restarting the browser . . .

ban centers like it had fallen all around this

No, I didn’t want to update more plug-ins.

world?

No, I didn’t want to update the browser.

Chords failed her.

At long last, I came to my favorite video-

To interpret the body language of any alien
streaming site—
was perilous. To seek meaning in the expres-

Whose deal with a major TV production
sions of desiccated alien corpses? That, surely,
company must have lapsed since I had last
was more questionable still. And yet, studying
checked. I surfed my way to another service
the faces of these dead aliens, Kl’doth was cer-from which I could stream the new series I’d
tain.

been meaning to try—

The humans had died of exhaustion.

If I first opened an account, completed a

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UNPLANNED OBSOLESCENCE

101

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WorldMags.net

True to

Form

Kyle Kirkland

When is a difference not a difference?

al Winter’s rent totaled 139 dollars, due
which was a short distance behind and above
at the end of the month—two days
his head. The screen was showing the 6:30
away. He was 130 dollars short.

news. Most of it was devoted to Senator Her-

C But that wasn’t the onlyreason the ald’s overdose,so it had Smith’s rapt atten-ex-pharmacologist was sitting in Mr. Smith’s
tion. Cal was facing Smith and unable to see
cramped off ice. Cal had ideas, lots of ideas,
the display, but he watched the lights from
and sometimes they paid off. He also had a
the video f licker across the pudgy man’s
terrible fear shared by many people on skid
broad gray shirt. Cal waited for another com-
row, especially those who, like Cal, had seen
mercial so that he could begin talking again.

much better times. It was a sinking feeling, as

A female voice came over the monitor: “. . .

if he had stepped in quicksand. He felt like he
a great tragedy in American politics. She was
was slowly being sucked down into a morass.

on track to become the f irst female Presi-

It was a human morass, in which the brown
dent. And now this. . . .”

ooze at the bottom consisted of mechs—

The interviewer said, “I’ve heard that you
joined, occasionally, by real humans like Cal
and others are pushing for stronger regula-
who did possess consciousness but failed to tion of the drug industry.”

use it to any great advantage.

Smith’s upper lip curled.

If Smith didn’t hire him, the only thing left

“That’s right,” replied the woman. “Maybe
was the research center on Dillerd Street.

this drug, Stewed, as it’s called, isn’t being

They always needed test subjects and some-
made and distributed as safely as we thought
times mechs didn’t have the right anatomy.

it was.”

That the job would pay reasonably well, be

Smith’s eyes closed, his chin dropped. The
relatively painless, entail few risks and none
interview went on for a few more minutes. A
that weren’t covered by government insur-
physician then affirmed that the autopsy and
ance, was insufficient consolation.

chemical analyses showed that Senator Her-

Cal’s chair was wedged between a velour-
ald had def initely taken Stewed a short time
topped desk and a wall with inlaid screen,
before her death.

102

KYLE KIRKLAND

WorldMags.net

JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2013

WorldMags.net

When the commercial break came, Cal
of her fellow Senators had been contaminat-
used the time as best he could, speaking loud-
ed. But with what? Nothing in her blood
ly enough to drown out a sales pitch for pre-
stream or her cerebrospinal f luid gave any
enjoyed cars, an athlete endorsing a fat
hints. Only Stewed and its metabolic prod-
metabolizer called Weightaway, and a theatri-
ucts were present. And the Senator who had
cal skit promoting the latest painkiller. Cal
provided the packet had an excellent reputa-
once caught himself talking in rhythm with
tion and was a highly unlikely suspect.

an advertising jingle, but he persevered, said

Pill wiped his face with a hand. “We need
what he wanted to say. Smith’s only motion
data, not guesses. If I thought you could do
was a slight tilt of the head, a movement Cal
any good I’d hire you in a second. I got people
hopefully interpreted as indicating interest.

waving subpoenas in my face.” Pill frowned.

But the commercials f inally came to an

“Problem is, Cal, you’ve been out of the busi-
end, and the news program f inished up. An
ness too long. Too much caviar and . . . well,
overhead bank of fluorescents hummed on.

anyway, you’ve been out of the game for a

Smith looked at Cal and shook his head.

while. I remember you twelve years ago, back

“So who would want to get rid of this Herald
when you were an up and comer. Read your
woman? I don’t know much about her.”

dissertation. Impressive. We tried to recruit

“That’s where I can help you, Pill.” Cal de-
you, as I recall. But you’re not what you once
cided to go informal—he knew that many em-
were.”

ployees often called Mr. Smith by his f irst

“Maybe. And maybe Stewed isn’t what it
name. “Who did it, and how.”

once was either.”

Smith leaned back, looked thoughtful. His

Pill glanced up sharply. “You’re suggested it
off ice was so small that the back of his head
was actually Stewed that killed Herald?” He
brushed up against the wall. The person who
shook his head vigorously; the fat under his
developed the bestselling drug Stewed could
chin wobbled. “Can’t be. If Herald had taken
afford a two-acre off ice with a Jacuzzi and
too much, she would have vomited it out.

full-wall entertainment center, yet his off ice

That’s why Stewed got FDA approval—”

was modest. His lab, however, was impres-

“I know. I told you, I used to work in a lab
sive. On his way to the off ice Cal had seen
that did the clinical trials. I was one of the
plenty of chromatography machines, se-
people who proved that the euphoria from
quencers, mouse and rat colonies, comput-

Stewed turns into nausea if the user takes too
ers, and an army of mechs to operate the
much, too quickly. But what if the drug had
microscopes and pipets.

been altered?” Cal gave him a smile. Suddenly

Cal said, “I’ve got the credentials to do the
he was feeling a little bit cocky again, like the
job. And with my experience. . . .”

pharmacologist he was long ago. Pill Smith’s

He let it trail off. It was hard to talk about
memory was correct: his company had tried
your experience when you’ve fallen so far, all
to hire Cal back then. But Cal had gotten a
the way from the Penthouse Ritz down to a
better offer.

second f loor apartment over Reggie’s Bar &

“How?” said Smith skeptically.

Grill, cadging meals from relatives and

Cal didn’t know, but that didn’t keep him
friends—and when that failed, living off the
from ticking off one idea after another. He
fumes that seeped up through the cracks in
had spent all day poring over old textbooks
the floor.

and papers, trying to remember what he’d

Pill gave him another sympathetic look.

once known so well. He felt good. Dillerd

“We’re analyzing the data now and—”

was starting to look like just a bad dream.

“That’ll take forever. Listen. We can already

And then came his mistake.

make a few educated guesses.”

Cal started talking about a specif ic recep-

Cal’s educated guesses were usually a lot
tor for serotonin, a neurotransmitter that
different than other people’s. The most com-
some neurons in the brain use to send mes-
mon theory was that the drug Senator Herald
sages to other neurons; the receptor was
had taken on that fateful Friday night in her
known to be strongly affected by Stewed. “. . .

D.C. town home hadn’t been pure; the pack-
if we look at this receptor in mechs and apply
et of Stewed that Herald accepted from one
the—”

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Pill’s expression immediately told Cal that

“No, I don’t have change for the parking
something was wrong. Then he realized what
meter,” he muttered to himself.

he’d said. Any pharmacologist who ever

Cal kept walking, thinking about Dillerd,
worked on the brain knew that mechs didn’t
remembering the test subjects he’d dealt with
have that receptor. Neuropharmacology 101.

when he’d been a pharmacologist. Most of

Pill waved his hand. “Don’t have time. Sor-
them were real humans and not mechs, since
ry. Get out of here and leave me alone, will
he’d worked on drugs that affect the brain.

you? I got a long night ahead.”

Once a newly developed drug made it past

“I’m just rusty. Listen to—”

the animal studies it had to be tested in peo-

Pill’s expression hardened. He reached for
ple or mechs: no animal or computational
the buzzer to open the door.

model mimicked the human body well

Visions of Dillerd Street filled Cal’s mind.

enough to dispense with safety tests in hu-
mans. Or human-like bodies, in the case of

Cal was still thinking about Dillerd when
mechs. Pharm- acologists used mechs in most
he walked past the security checkpoint of
cases, except for research involving certain

Pill’s lab, manned by two grim-faced guards,
functions of the nervous system and a few
and then past the mech sitting at the front
other systems.

desk.

Cal had always felt sorry for his human test

“Sir,” said the mech, with a gleaming smile,
subjects. They wore a defeated look, shuf-

“are you leaving now?”

fling into the lab with hands in pockets, their

“No, I’m just walking toward the exit.”

gaze never leaving the f loor. Just like he was

“I see, sir.” The smile never faltered, and
doing right now, Cal suddenly realized.

never would, either, until he was “retired”

He straightened himself up and turned to-
due to old age or sickness. Model number 6:

ward the nearest S station. He went about
male, short black hair, green eyes, thin nose.

twenty paces when a woman suddenly

“On the chance that you’re going outside, I
blocked his path. Cal tried to sidestep her but
should warn you—”

she moved directly in his way again.

Cal walked on, quickly.

“Mr. Winter.”

“Sir, I should warn you that the tempera-

Strong voice. Light from a distant street
ture has dropped to f ifty-six degrees Fahren-
lamp lit up her straw-colored hair, but her
heit . . . do you want to borrow a jacket or
face was in shadow. He didn’t recognize her
umbrella or—”

but somehow she knew his name.

The door clanged shut and Cal moved

“I’d like to speak with you,” she said. She
away. Chilly air enveloped him.

gestured vaguely toward the three-seater that

The streets were slick. A brief shower must
honked at him earlier.

have come through while he’d been inside

Cal’s first thought: this could be the excuse
the building, and now light from the street
he needed to postpone Dillerd. But his sec-
lamps ref lected off the glistening asphalt. A
ond thought followed quickly: the rent. “Sor-
clock in the distance read 7:15. Dillerd, he
ry, but unless what you’ve got to say involves
knew, stayed open until eight. He still had

130 dollars plus utilities, I’ve got somewhere
time to check in tonight, unless he could
else to go.”

think of a good reason to put it off until to-

Before he could take more than a few steps
morrow.

she said, “I know you were just talking to Pill

From his left came the sound of a rail car.

Smith.”

The “S” snaked its way through the city every

Cal stopped and turned around. “Is that
f ifteen minutes this time of night. Go ahead,
what this is about?”

he thought, get it over with—the only other

“I should tell you—”

option is living on the street.

“I didn’t get hired. So I have nothing to do

Across the street a car horn sounded. An
with the Senator Herald case, if that’s what
arm poked out of a sleek three-seater. Cal
you’re after.” The street lamp lit her face now;
looked up hopefully but didn’t recognize the
she was thirtyish, pretty, business-like. The
car. As he walked away the horn sounded
kind that wears suits—and she had one on
again.

now, without tie. “You a cop?” he asked.

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“No. As I was saying—”

dome, festooned with blue and yellow lights.

“And I was saying that my rent’s due and

They got out of the car. Rainy glanced at her

I’ve only got a few minutes to make an impor-
watch and began to walk quickly. “I’m hop-
tant appointment.”

ing you’ll recognize the woman we’re going

“I’ll pay your rent. All 130 dollars of it.” The
to meet.”

corners of her mouth lifted slightly—not ex-

“What’s her name?”

actly a disarming smile, but it put Cal more at

“Mother Love.”

ease. “Plus utilities. And maybe I’ll even

“I knew a Mother Love once, a long time
throw in a meal or two. All you have to do is
ago. She was about 70 years old—”

talk to me.”

“Different person. You’ll see.” She glanced

Cal didn’t hesitate. “I’m all yours.”

at him. “You’ll know her, I think.”

Evidently, Cal thought, he’d known her un-

Twelve cylinders roared to life and the car
der a different name. But some people
shot away from the curb. Cal’s head and back
changed names as often as clothes.

sank into the soft cushion of his seat.

There wasn’t a long line at the entrance,

“I hope you were serious about the mon-
and according to the marquee the show had
ey,” he told the woman. “Because I was seri-
started an hour ago. A screen displayed an in-
ous about needing it.”

credibly muscular woman, her costume con-

With her right hand she pulled out a key-
cealing only the required minimum. Massive
pad from the dash. “Here, punch in your per-
biceps and quadriceps bulged like thick cords
num.”

under the skin. In gigantic letters below her

Cal stared at it a moment.

image was the name “Organ Crusher”; be-

“It’s not a scam.” She gave him a glance.

neath that it said “How Brave Are You?”

“Besides, you don’t sound like a man who’s

Rainy placed her hand briefly on the sensor
got much to lose.”

and the door slid open a moment later. A

The car accelerated, speeding along the on-
guard waved them through.

ramp of the highway. The woman expertly

“I’m not a big fan of wrestling,” Cal said.

shifted into high gear, dodged a dump truck,

“We won’t be staying long. Don’t—”

weaved into the fast lane. Manual driving was

Crowd noise drowned out the rest of what
becoming a lost art, but Cal realized that this

Rainy said. The arena was rocking, nearly a
wasn’t the f irst time the lady had driven in
full house.

traffic.

Rainy guided Cal down one of the aisles.

Leaning toward the light flickering in from

Popcorn kernels and paper cups were scat-
the window, he yanked out his wallet and
tered everywhere. In the ring a tall and beefy
keyed in his personal number. When he f in-
red-haired woman had a headlock on some-
ished he looked up, saw they were on the off-
body; it looked to be another woman but Cal
ramp leading to Calvert Street and the city’s
couldn’t tell. A cheer went up as Red gave her
sport stadiums.

opponent a knee to the chest.

“My name is Days,” said the woman. “Rainy

Rainy stopped, staring at the ring. Cal

Days.” She geared down to third and merged
stepped up beside her. Shouts of men and
onto Calvert. “Most people call me Rainy. Can
women, many of whom possessed loud voic-

I call you California?”

es and ample girths, came from all over the

“Cal.”

arena. Adolescent boys pumped their f ists.

“I thought we’d have a little chat, but first I

Out of the corner of his eye Cal watched
need to pick up someone else.”

Rainy. She was breathing quickly, her gaze

Rainy maneuvered into the turn lane.

never leaving the arena. Slowly she licked her

Ahead was a large arena.

parted lips.

Cal said, “I’m assuming this has something

In the ring Red f inished off her opponent
to do with Pill Smith and Senator Herald.”

with a series of vicious kicks. Cal looked

“Yes, although it may not seem like it at
away.

f irst,” said Rainy, easing the car up to a slot.

When he looked up again Rainy was al-

The parking lot was small and crowded. A
ready halfway down the stairs. With hurried
few hundred yards away loomed a silver
steps he caught up and followed her as she

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slipped through a stage door close to the ring.

I’m a mess, aren’t I?” From a drawer under

Rainy said a few words to a security guard,
the table she pulled out her personal pharma-
then she and Cal walked on, through a dimly
cy and popped a few pills. It reminded Cal
lit hallway and into another one, much better
that he hadn’t been able to afford f illing his
illuminated, the length of which consisted of
own perpharm for more than a year. No won-
a lot of numbered doors. Rainy walked up to
der he always felt tired.

one and, without knocking, opened it and

Cal turned to Rainy and saw her staring at
went inside.

him, expectantly.

It was a small dressing room but nobody

“Damn,” said Mother, as she cleaned her-
was there. Street clothes lay sprawled over a
self up. “That was a real hellcat out there
chair, which faced a mirror lined with bright-
tonight. You see her?”

ly lit bulbs.

Cal didn’t know what to say. Rainy kept

“Shouldn’t be long, ” said Rainy. She
looking at him.

watched Cal for a moment. “Enjoy the show?”

Mother turned her back on Cal and slipped

“People actually pay to see that?”

out of her skimpy costume. She toweled her-

Rainy smirked. “Oh, that wasn’t the main
self dry, then reached around and pulled a
event. Just one of the warm-ups.”

shirt and pants off the chair.

“Nice.” Cal couldn’t stop himself from

“I, uh. . . .” Cal coughed lightly. “We caught
frowning. “I thought these things were all
the last little bit.”

fake. But it seemed pretty real to me.”

Mother put on her pants and cinched the

“Some of them are fake, some of them are
waist. “Ow,” she said, bending over. “Damn,
real. The most popular ones are the real ones.

that hurts.” Once dressed, she turned around

You found it . . . disturbing?”

again, facing Cal. She looked like a 35-year-old

He stared at her without answering.

victim of domestic violence.

She went on: “For a while they used

“Oh, wow!” said Mother, suddenly waving
mechs. They put on a good show, beat each
a finger in Cal’s direction. “You’re . . .”

other to death. If you don’t feel pain you can

“You recognize this man?” said Rainy.

do that pretty easily, I guess. But it never real-

“You’re California Winter!”

ly caught on with the audience. It was no dif-

Cal concentrated on Mother’s face, thought
ferent than watching mechanical bots.” Her
long and hard. Through the bumps and bruis-
lips parted again; when she caught Cal staring
es something familiar finally emerged.

at her, she smiled. “The absence of pain made
it less interesting. And stop giving me that

Six years ago a programmer and a pharma-
holier-than-thou look. We’re all a little sadis-
cologist came up with a bizarre idea. What if
tic. Don’t tell me you’ve never gawked at a
a DNA computer could predict the winning
traffic accident.”

lottery numbers? It wouldn’t work if the lot-

A minute later a woman walked into the
tery drawing was truly random, of course. But
room. She saw Cal and Rainy and stopped.

at the time it was widely known that lottery

“Whoa!”

drawings had gone electronic and were

“Ms. Love?” said Rainy quickly. “I’m Rainy
based, in some complicated and diligently

Days. We talked over the comm a few hours
concealed way, on computer-controlled
ago.”

processes. Every week there was a new jack-

“Oh, yeah. Almost forgot. Yeah, I’m Moth-
pot and a new drawing. Any sort of glitch in
er.”

the software would present an opportunity, if

From her appearance, Mother Love had ap-
someone could find an obscure but comput-
parently been Red’s opponent. Her dark hair
er-identifiable trend in the numbers.

looked like she’d just come out of a wind tun-

The programmer’s name was Bringem On.

nel, her face was puffy and bleeding, there

The pharmacologist was California Winter.

was a long red scratch running along her

Bringem had a girlfriend who at the time
right arm. She was neither tall nor bulky, and
went by the name Elfin Powers.

Cal wondered why she’d agreed to get in the

At the present moment, Elf in—now
ring with Conan the Barbarian’s daughter.

known as Mother Love—tenderly chewed a

She stepped up to the mirror. “Oh, wow.

choice piece of sirloin and downed a frothy

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glass of Czech beer. Rainy had honored her
thing together?” she asked.

offer to provide a meal, and she, Mother, and

“It just happened.” Cal blushed. Not a good

Cal were enjoying exquisite food in a private
enough answer—Rainy wanted details. “One
booth at the Jovian Gardens, downtown. Cal
day we bumped into each other in the hall.

had ordered one of everything. It brought

We got to talking.” He paused, let out a deep
back memories of happier times.

sigh. Science was supposed to be nobler,

Cal said to Rainy, “I still don’t know why
more intellectual. “Bringem had recently seen
you think Bringem had anything to do with
a movie, and part of the plot involved a DNA

Senator Herald’s death. Have you talked to
computation which was supposed to predict
him?”

the future of human society. Or the future

“Can’t. Can’t find him. We lost touch with
course of evolution, something like that. He
him a long time ago, after he f inished up
asked me if it were possible to use DNA com-
some contract work with Pillie’s company on
puters to predict other things. The stock mar-
a couple of projects. All we know is that now
ket, maybe, or lottery numbers. I said I didn’t
he’s a trillionaire. A very reclusive one.” Rainy
know, but I thought it might be fun to try. It
gave him a sharp look. “You haven’t talked to
was an interesting idea: the solutions to a lot
him lately, have you?”

of puzzles might be somehow enmeshed in

Cal shook his head. “After we hit the jack-
the complexity of DNA. All you have to do is
pot we sort of drifted apart.” In more ways
figure out how to ask it the right questions.”

than one, he thought sourly.

“He couldn’t do it himself ?”

“I haven’t seen or talked to him for years ei-

“He didn’t know much about DNA. He was
ther,” said Mother.

the computational guy in the lab, his research

Rainy asked, “Did he change after he won
involved abstract models of molecules and
all that money? Did he tell you about any
things like that. We formed a team, set aside
plans, anything like that?”

some time during the evenings and week-

“Hell, no.” Mother looked disgusted. “I’d
ends. I did the wet stuff—the DNA reactions.

been going out with him a couple of years,

Bringem developed the algorithms, told me
but he dropped me like a brick. I didn’t even
what sequences to mix together and how to
f ind out about the lottery until later. He quit
read the results.”

his job, then left a message on my comm, said

“Wait a minute,” said Mother. “I thought
something like, ‘Hi Elf in, it’s been fun but,
lottery drawings were done with those ping
you know, we’ve always said that when the
pong balls swirling around. You mean you
time comes we’ll know when it’s over. Well,
guys were predicting all of that?”

it’s over.’”

Cal shook his head. “In the past, lotteries

“So he just dropped out of touch,” said
often used tumblers full of ping pong balls.

Rainy.

They do again these days. It’s a perfectly good

“Well,” said Cal, “he was actually hardly
way of drawing random numbers, and the
ever in touch to begin with. I didn’t know government probably should have never
him all that well, we only worked in the same
abandoned it in the f irst place. They went
lab for about a year, and then we both quit
back to ping pong balls after they found out
when we won the lottery. He was always a
how Bringem and I had been able to beat
quiet, squirrelly guy. Very much into comput-
their fancy new system. They let us keep the
ers and computational biology.”

money, though. Nothing illegal about what

“He wasn’t so quiet,” said Mother, grin-
we did.”

ning. “You had to . . . you know. Nudge him a

“And so,” said Rainy, “you and Bringem
little bit.”

split something like four hundred mill.

There was a pause in the conversation,

Right?”

f illed in with the sound of Mother and Cal

Mother whistled softly. “Jeez.”

chewing. Mostly Cal. He swallowed another

“Before taxes,” said Cal. When the bean
shrimp. When he looked up, Rainy was eye-
counters were finally finished, he found him-
ing him with that no-nonsense, business-like
self 120 million dollars richer. Glancing down
look.

at his plate, Cal suddenly felt sated, and scoot-

“So how did you come to do this lottery
ed his chair away from the table. He couldn’t

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believe how much he’d eaten; it reminded
the projects were under the control of Rising
him of how much money he’d gone through

Sun, one of the scientists Pillie has on staff.”

in his life. How fast it had disappeared.

“Let me guess what one of the projects in-

“Wish I had that kind of money,” said Moth-
volved,” said Cal. “Stewed.”

er.

“Actually, no.”

“Wish I had sense enough to hold on to

Cal’s eyebrows rose. “Then why do you
that kind of money.”

think Bringem could be involved in Senator

Mother looked at Cal curiously.

Herald’s overdose?”

“Unlike Mr. On,” explained Rainy, “Mr.

“We think Bringem found out more about

Winter was, shall we say, not very careful

Stewed and its distribution channels than he
with his newly acquired wealth.”

should have. Rising Sun is, well, a scientist—

Not very careful indeed. But it had been in-
enthusiastic and not very corporate-thinking.

toxicating. The strange thing was, he’d never

Probably he was careless with proprietary in-
gambled much before. He had played the bas-
formation. But what I want from the both of
ketball pool at work, threw some dice at Ve-
you,” continued Rainy, “is what you remem-
gas and the Gulf Coast, but that was all. Total
ber of Bringem.”

loss: maybe two hundred dollars. But after the

Mother and Cal looked at each other. Cal
lottery win, Cal changed. It was as if a switch
shrugged. “You would have known him bet-
suddenly came on. He became a different per-
ter than I.”

son, with different goals and habits. The lot-

“He was sweet. Kind of geeky, but sweet.

tery win had been ecstasy, had validated him,

He was a looker and gentle and even warm, if
and instead of enjoying the fruits of his labor
you knew how to treat him. Although he was
he became determined to repeat the victo-
mild-mannered, I guess you’d say, he could be
ry—the ecstasy—time and again. He started
aggressive sometimes.”

laying big bets: dice, horses, cards. After he

Rainy looked at Cal.

quit his job he spent all his time f iguring

“If you want to know more about him,”

odds, working out winning systems, calculat-
said Cal, “what about his records with his em-
ing strategies, coming up with the next bril-
ployers?”

liant scheme. Mounting losses didn’t

“Forged, mostly. The brood school he list-
discourage him enough to make him quit;
ed, for instance.”

they were simply frustrating, goading him

“Brood?” Mother shook her head. “He was
into rethinking his system and betting more,
raised in a family, not a brood.”

again and again.

“Is that what he told you too, Cal?”

Rainy and Mother were watching him. Cal

Cal nodded.

shook his head. “You know the old saying: a

“According to his employment records,”

fool and his money . . .”

said Rainy, “he was raised in a brood. If he

“Don’t feel so bad,” said Mother. “Look at
were raised in a family, didn’t it seem funny
me. For a while I was the squeeze of a future
that he didn’t carry a family name?”

gazillionaire, and now I make a living by get-

“Not really,” said Mother. “Almost every-
ting the crap kicked out of me.”

body thinks names should be descriptive.

A waiter, loaded down with a tray of lus-

Doesn’t mean he didn’t have a family, maybe
cious-looking desserts, stepped into their
even a family name, at one time. He used to
booth. Cal took nothing. When the waiter left
tell me about his genetic mom and dad. What

Rainy got up and shut the door.

they were like.”

“The most interesting things about Mr.

“Well, they probably visited him a lot,” said

On,” said Rainy, “are the things we don’t

Cal. “Genetic parents sometimes do that.

know. Which is a lot.”

Mine did. Maybe they visited him so often

Cal said, “But you mentioned Bringem
that it felt like, to him, he was being raised by
worked on some projects with Smith’s f irm.

two parents in a small family, rather than by

Doesn’t Pill know something about him?”

brood parents in a large school.”

“Not really. Pillie didn’t think much of the

“But the records indicate he was raised in
kind of stuff that Bringem worked on. Pillie
the Alkria Brood,” Rainy said. “And that’s
delegates a lot of authority these days, and
wrong, because we checked. He was never at

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Alkria. I believe he told you he was raised in a
genes weren’t present from the beginning, so family because that way he’d never have to
it won’t help to put them in later. Mechs
talk about his brood. Especially not to anyone
grow up without them—at an accelerated
who’d been brought up in the same one.”

pace, I might add, in the stem cell tanks.

“I gather,” said Cal, “you think he was try-

Those genes weren’t present during critical
ing to avoid talking to someone who actually
periods of development. Think about it. What
had been in the brood and would soon real-
would happen if you suddenly gave vision to
ize that his database record was wrong.”

an adult who’s been blind since birth? Would

“Weird,” said Mother. “You mean he was
he be able to interpret what he saw?”

raised in a family but his records are wrong?”

“Hearing implants work.”

Cal stared at Rainy. “No, she’s not suggest-

“True, if you stick a few electrodes in the
ing that at all.” As he kept staring at her, Rainy
cochlea or auditory nerve then the adult
got that half-smile on her face again. Creepy,
brain can f igure out what to do with the in-
thought Cal. “She thinks he wasn’t raised any
puts. But it doesn’t work for vision. Scientific
place at all. But that implies something about
studies prove it. If the brain lacks visual expe-

Bringem which isn’t possible.”

rience during a critical period, vision will

Rainy’s smile didn’t fade. “Is it?”

never properly develop. Only during a critical

“Yes, absolutely.” He’d heard rumors, but
window of time in the brain’s development
in Cal’s opinion they were nonsense.

can it learn how. The same also appears to be

Mother looked puzzled. “What the hell are
true for other complicated processes. If the
you talking about?”

brain doesn’t have the genes during critical

Cal glanced at the former Ms. Powers. “Ap-
periods in development, then it doesn’t mat-
parently Rainy believes that your ex-lover, and
ter if you add them later, they won’t do
my ex-labmate, is a mech.”

much.”

Mother paused. Her blackened eyes gog-

Rainy wasn’t giving up. “Maybe other
gled. Then she laughed. It evolved quickly
genes were added. Ones that work better
into a f it of coughing. “Dang, dang, that
than normal.”

hurts. Don’t do that to me.”

Cal shook his head. “The proteins that

Rainy shrugged. “Laugh if you want to. It
these genes code for wouldn’t function, like I
could be true.”

said before. Mechs are programmed and

“No it isn’t.” Cal suddenly realized that he
come out of the stem cell colonies fully
still had no clear idea who Rainy worked
grown, and they come out knowing every-
for—or if she worked for anyone at all. Was
thing they ever will. They can’t learn or
she just some kind of nutty private detective?

adapt—they don’t have the genes for recep-

“Look,” said Rainy, shifting in her chair. Her
tors and enzymes that are essential for synap-
tone grew defensive. “I can think of a whole
tic plasticity. And because of the ion channel
lot of reasons why it might be unlikely. He
deletions, their neural networks can’t syn-
doesn’t look like one of the standard models,
chronize, which means they aren’t conscious.

for instance. But plastic surgery can take care

They can walk and talk, they look like hu-
of that. And other things can be done, too.

mans, they have human physiology, but

Use your imagination—like you did, Cal,
they’re not human.”

when you built that DNA computer and won

Mother looked at Rainy. “You sound like a
the lottery.”

mech-hugger.”

“I happen to know how mechs are pro-

“Hardly,” said Rainy, frowning. She held up
duced,” Cal told her. “One of my closest
four f ingers. “But consider the evidence.

broodmates is a geneticist. He works in the in-

Bringem’s a reclusive person. He’s unbeliev-
dustry.”

ably smart, in a computerized sort of way. He

“I know how they’re produced too,” said
doesn’t have a past—he has no history that

Rainy. “And I don’t see anything impossible
we know of, and we can’t even discover his
about turning one into a human. What if they
pernum. It seems like he doesn’t have one.

replaced the forty deleted genes? Then a

Suggestive, is it not? And fourthly, the pro-
mech’s brain would be normal.”

jects he was working on with Rising involved

“It wouldn’t help to put them back in. The
advanced ways of manipulating neural net-

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works, so he’s definitely interested in human

She’d chaired some committee or another
or superhuman intelligence.”

that had something to do with mechs, Cal

Mother dabbed her swollen lips with a nap-
had learned. Some sort of government regula-
kin. “I don’t really understand what you’re
tion of the industry. But that was probably
talking about. Mechs into persons—that’s re-
only a small bone thrown to mech-huggers.

ally weird. If you want a person, you f ind a

Cal was too young to have lived through the
person. Plenty of them around. If you want a
time when mechs were first introduced, but
mech for a dumb or dangerous job that re-
he remembered reading that a lot of people
quires a human body, you just buy one. Sim-
had reacted negatively, especially at f irst. In
ple. Why do you need to make one out of the
the early years, mechs weren’t discussed in
other?”

polite society and few people had anything to

“I didn’t necessarily say that someone made
do with them—mechs were rarely seen and
him,” said Rainy slowly, “although that’s a
worked in mines or on deep sea dives, they
possibility. I simply claim that he exists. And
toiled in factories or they wore asbestos suits
he’s dangerous. For some reason he killed
and sprinted into burning buildings to search

Senator Herald and made it look like Pillie’s
for survivors. But slowly attitudes changed,
fault so that he could avoid suspicion.

and society began to accept them, in the

Whether he’s a mutant, a self-organized enti-
same way people had gradually accepted
ty, or manufactured by God knows who or
abortion, cloning, suicide, broods, euthana-
what, the point is that something happened
sia. Only a small though vocal group of mech-
to his brain and we need to find out what.”

huggers protested any more.

The Senate committee overseeing the

Rainy told Cal she was working for Pill
mech manufacturers probably did little or

Smith, though Cal didn’t believe her. But she
nothing. And yet, thought Cal, Senator Herald
gave him twenty-f ive thousand dollars and
was known to be controversial. She’d always
called it a “retainer fee.” Astounded, Cal ac-
spoken her mind, and ruffled plenty of feath-
cepted it without question. He then did what
ers in the process. Could she have been push-
he’d been told: he went home and waited for
ing behind the scenes for legislation that
further instructions. Don’t leave your apart-
would have infuriated the mech industry?

ment, Rainy had repeatedly said; we’ll call you

But what could that have to do with
when we need you. And to make that a truly

Bringem? He was a computer guy. The Sena-
viable option, Rainy had ensured that the sub-
tor was nixed by some kind of drug, and Cal
scription fee for Cal’s comm was fully paid.

knew better than anyone that Bringem wasn’t

It was 10:10 P.M. He lay in bed, listening to
into pharmacology.

off-key choruses drifting up from below. Reg-

Cal found himself pacing the room again.

gie was doing a pretty good business tonight.

Then, before he realized it—or even knew

Lots of noise. Screw it, Cal thought. I can af-
how it happened—he was wearing his jacket
ford to move somewhere else now.

and walking out the door, comm in hand.

He got up, paced the small room. He heard

He took the S, rode the blue line to the last
a crash of shattering glass, followed by loud
stop. Garish lights greeted him as he stepped
shouts. Then everything got relatively quiet.

off the station platform. The night had be-

He stared longingly at his jacket, hanging in
come chillier; he zipped up his jacket to ward
a corner, and then he stared at the door. He
off a stiff breeze that seemed to come directly
frowned and plopped himself down on a bag
from the casino.

stuffed with shredded paper, one of his few

He walked under a Roman archway,
items of furniture. Beside it on the floor was
through a colorfully bannered portico, and
the latest news reader, which he had lifted
into a cavernous, chandeliered room. Two
from a recycling bin—old habits are hard to
beautiful, nude female mechs, their faces
break. It showed a picture of Senator Herald
etched with permanent smiles and their
on the front page. The updated news of the
blank eyes reflecting the glitzy lights, ushered
day, which on his way home Cal had
him to the tables. Throngs of well-dressed
glimpsed on someone else’s reader, still head-
men and women gathered in various places.

lined the Senator.

Cal stepped up to the slot machines. They

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were all electronic and had no slot, despite

Cal kept walking. Behind him he heard the
their name—bets were automatically deduct-
mech moving swiftly toward another patron.

ed from the player’s account. He watched a

“Leaving so soon?”

man work a particular machine for a while.

Finally Cal reached the archway and went

He wasn’t having much luck.

out into the night. The lights of the casino lit

The roulette was getting a lot of action
up the pavement in front of him: maroon,
tonight, and Cal glanced that way. Tough
then blue, then a purplish color that held
game, though.

steady for a moment, then back to maroon.

The man gave up on the machine and he

Shouldn’t have punched her, he thought.

walked away wearing a disgusted look. Cal

Why did I do that? I don’t abuse mechs.

waited a moment, then went up to the same

Trembling, Cal stopped on the sidewalk
machine. He touched his account chip to the
and leaned up against a wall or a building—
sensor. His pernum flashed on the screen, he
he wasn’t sure which. For a minute he
placed his bet, then the simulated wheels
thought he would vomit. But the sickness
started spinning. From his observation Cal
passed after a few minutes. He took a deep
had sensed a pattern, though it was very
breath, then started walking again.

weak. He tried timing the spins; perhaps the

At the intersection he hesitated: which way
computer was using a clock to seed the ran-
was the station? He looked around, didn’t
dom number generator. Cal watched the sym-
find it, so he took a left turn and kept going.

bols flit by, time and time again.

After three more left turns he was in front

When Cal looked up again he saw it was fif-
of the casino again. The footsteps of people
teen minutes after midnight. He checked his
walking by were like drums, their speech like
balance: he’d won almost f ive thousand dol-
the chatter of wild monkeys, high in the
lars.

trees. The lights had gotten brighter, the

He knew he should walk away. Go home.

night had become warm. Hot. Cal unzipped

Now, while he was ahead. Do the smart
his jacket. A moment later he was walking un-
thing, for a change. This was where he always
steadily under the archway. Then he stag-
started making mistakes.

gered into the casino, drawing stares and the

Pressing “quit” on the machine he’d been
immediate attention of several bystanders.

playing, he walked slowly toward the exit. A
mech slipped a drink into his hand; the glass

The room was dark, but Cal quickly real-
was chilled but not too cold. Cal held it a mo-
ized it was because he had not yet opened his
ment, looked at it, sniffed it . . . lemony. He
eyes. Lacking any motivation to prop them
set it gently on top of an empty poker table.

open, he let them stay closed; his head rested

He’d had, how many already? Two, maybe
on the pillow and he tried to go back to
three. He walked on.

sleep.

The buzz of the room enveloped him like a

Sometime later a voice was saying some-
magnet that held him f irmly in its grip. He
thing. Cal caught the tail end. “. . . is he?”

could go home, place bets with the comm,

Someone answered, but Cal couldn’t under-
gamble over the Network . . . but it wasn’t the
stand it.

same. No atmosphere.

“Dad, I think you” something, something.

He reached the exit. One of the nude

“Didn’t f ind out how” something, some-
mechs was busy with another customer, but
thing. “You should have told me.”

the other one saw Cal walking toward the

“There’s still Mother. She’s the most impor-
gate. She reached out, brushed her warm fin-
tant” something.

gers across his face.

“Mother,” said Cal.

“Leaving so soon?” she whispered.

The voices stopped. After a while they

He kept walking.

started up again, but so quickly that Cal

She walked beside him. Her hand pressed
couldn’t follow them. Then he heard: “How
against his chest, slowly moved down his
can anybody be so smart and yet so stupid?”

body. Suddenly Cal swung out with his f ist,

Cal’s eyes fluttered opened. He saw Rainy,
hitting the mech in the ribs. She grunted, fell

Pillie, and another man he’d never seen be-
back.

fore staring at him. But they left quickly.

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A few minutes later a mech removed Cal’s
should have guessed. . . .” Rainy’s hand went

IV and gave him a chicken sandwich. The
to his shoulder, rested there brief ly. “You
mech told him that he was recuperating in
need help.”

Pill Smith’s lab, which accounted for Pillie’s

Cal shook his head. He’d tried to change
presence and that of the other man, identi-
back to what he was before the lottery. It
fied as Rising Sun, the chief scientist. The lab,
hadn’t worked.

Cal was informed, was better equipped than

“Okay,” said Rainy. “Have it your way. But
most hospitals, and, at least in Cal’s case,
you’re staying put.”

much safer.

“Fine by me. Don’t really feel like another

Rainy came into his room, shut the door
night on the town.”

gently.

Rainy walked to the door. “In the morning I

“Cal, you’ve got a problem.”

hope you’ll feel up to talking to Rising Sun

“What problem? I won five thousand.”

about what’s going on.”

“True to form,” said Rainy, sighing.

“You mean what he thinks is going on.”

“Not really. Most of the time I lose.” Cal lift-

She shrugged. “Ever ything that’s new
ed his tray and set it down on a table. With a
sounds crazy when you first hear about it.”

squirt of water from the dispenser he washed

“But if Bringem’s a mech, then how did he
down some more pills; he felt immeasurably
get a pernum? Mechs have an ID code but
better already.

that’s much different. Getting a false pernum

“You’re being awfully flippant about a seri-
would be as hard as robbing Fort Knox.”

ous addiction,” said Rainy.

“Does he have to have a personal number?

Cal waved his hand airily. But he knew she

We can’t find it.”

was right.

“Of course he has to have one. You can’t

“You were told to stay put,” said Rainy.

do anything without it.”

“Your apartment was watched and guarded.

Rainy chewed on her lip. “But Bringem was

You were safe there.”

a programmer. And one of the best, you said

“You didn’t tell me why I was being guard-
so yourself.”

ed. I had no reason to believe I’d be unsafe

Cal nodded thoughtfully. “True. . . .”

elsewhere.”

Rainy walked to the door. “See you tomor-

Rainy shook her head. “We didn’t want to
row. And if you ever seriously want to do
alarm you. Okay, so it didn’t work. I’m sorry
something about your gambling problem, we
about that. We really couldn’t stop you from
have some experimental drugs you could
leaving. But you were followed by some of
take.”

our people and . . . you’re lucky you were. I

“Do you really work for Pillie? That hard-ass
hope you’re alarmed now.”

didn’t hire me because of a single mistake I

“Alarmed? I got sick. It happens.”

made during the interview. Why did you pick

Rainy stood over his bed. “You were poi-
me up when he turned me away?”

soned.”

“He didn’t know you had once been associ-

Cal looked up sharply. She seemed to be
ated with Bringem On. Get some sleep. See
perfectly serious. “Like Blazing Herald?” he
you tomorrow at seven.”

asked, in a small voice.

“What’s your job around here?”

She shook her head. “Fortunately not. Or

“I’m hard-ass’s daughter.”

we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

“Where was I poisoned? At the casino?”

Cal turned over in bed. Groggily he looked

“Probably. We’re not sure.” After a moment
at the luminous clock on the wall. It read 4:07
of silence she said: “Perhaps it was partly my

A.M. and it was silent—he’d set the alarm, he
fault. I put you in danger. I shouldn’t have
recalled, somewhere around six.

told you so much the evening before.”

Something had awoken him. And that

“As I recall, what you told me was a lot of
something, he realized, was still rustling
crap.”

around his room.

Rainy sighed. “Most of all, I shouldn’t have

The room’s only lamp was on a table on the
given you any money. I thought it would en-
other side of the room, and the overhead
courage you to do as you were told. But I
light switch was near the door. He sat up; the

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bed creaked noisily. He felt the urge to call

A thud sounded outside.

out, but instead he sat perfectly still and lis-

Running over to the window, Cal saw that
tened.

his room was on the first floor, and the win-

Silence.

dow let out on a huge, landscaped yard.

Virtually no light leaked in from the shut-

Footsteps came from the hallway.

tered window, and not much more came

Always hated snap decisions, thought Cal.

through the well-fitted door.

Need time to think. Nervously he tapped his

Rainy had said he’d been poisoned. If so,
f ingers on the sill. Then he rushed to the
were they preparing to f inish the job? I’m a
door.

prisoner in a dungeon, he thought. And the

No lock.

executioner is coming. . . .

The footsteps got louder.

Keeping his head completely still, he stared

Frantically Cal searched the room. He
straight ahead, letting as much light as possi-
found a tray, brought to him by a mech last
ble fall on rod photoreceptors of the retina
night, carrying pills and some water. It was
and giving his brain as much time as possible
thin, just about the right size; he jammed it
to make out what was there, lurking in the
into the narrow space under the door. It
darkness. Finally he saw a slow, steady move-
would give him time to think.

ment, a meter or two from his bed.

He went to the window again. Someone

Lash out? Fight? Now’s the time, he
started pounding on the door.

thought, when the opponent isn’t ready. Cal

Evidently they’d been monitoring his room.

crouched, ready to spring.

Is there a reason why honest people would

The movement stopped.

spy on you?

“Cal?”

The door quickly started to give way.

Barely a whisper. Cal wondered if he really

Floodlights in the courtyard came on. Cal saw
heard it.

Mother racing away.

“Cal, you awake?”

Well, maybe they were worried about his

“Rainy?”

safety. And they’d given him money, and

“No. And speak softly.”

treated him after the poisoning. Assuming

The voice was close, almost to the bed.

that he had been poisoned.

Suddenly the overhead lights came on.

But Cal’s train of thought lately had always

Cal jumped, f linging a sheet in the air.

led to one person: Mother. If he wanted to dig

Rolling out of bed on side opposite the in-
any deeper. . . .

truder, he stood up, his heart racing. The first

Cal edged out of the window, dropped gen-
thing he saw was Mother, standing beside the
tly down to the ground. Two people immedi-
bed. But she was nowhere near the light
ately started running toward him. Cal
switch.

hesitated, then ran away.

Mother was frowning. “So much for sneak-

In seconds he realized it was probably
ing out of here. They must have heard me or
hopeless. I’m so out of shape, he thought; I’ll
something. We just ran slap out of time.” She
get caught in no time.

leaped at the window, grappled brief ly with

Puff ing, Cal headed for a dark corner, in
the shutters before getting them open. Cal
the direction Mother had gone. He ran on a
saw a faintly lit courtyard outside.

sidewalk, eerily white in the bright lights, and

“We’re not safe here, sweetie,” said Mother.

lined with a row of low shrubs. His pursuers

The windows swung open. A chilly breeze
cut across the grass, leaped over the shrubs
wafted in. “You probably don’t even have
and began chasing him, only twenty meters
enough time to get out of those pajamas. But
behind and closing fast.

if you know what’s good for you, you’ll come

Forget it, thought Cal. He stopped, hands
with me.” She paused, one leg over the win-
on thighs, waited the few seconds it took for
dow sill.

the people chasing him to catch up.

“What are you talking about?”

One of the two, Cal saw, was a woman. She

Mother shook her head. “Don’t have time
reached him f ir st. Cal didn’t even have
to explain. Just consider this a warning. That
enough time to extend a protective arm
bitch Rainy is trouble!” Mother disappeared.

when he saw she wasn’t going to slow down.

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Crashing into him at full speed, she and Cal
not the same one. “What time is it?”

went flying over the shrubbery and onto the

“About ten in the morning.”

grass.

Cal had vivid memories of being carried to

Cal landed on his back, and the woman
a fence, which Mother proceeded to carve up
came down on top of him. Sharp pain went
with a tool that appeared to act like a laser,
shooting along his spine. He felt himself be-
though Cal figured it was too small to actually
ing f lipped over; he tried to shout but sod
be one. Then a short ride in a car. He said,
filled his mouth. His arms were pulled behind

“Thank you for helping me.”

his back—almost wrenched out of their sock-

“No prob.” Mother looked at him. “I think
ets—and his wrists started to burn, as if a coil
maybe we should stick together for a while.

of wire was being wrapped around them.

Weird crap keeps happening to both of us. All

He heard a loud thud. Then another. And
cause of Bringem, I guess. Anyway, we
then nothing, until a moment later someone
should be okay here for a while. I got a show
said, “Serves you right, you bitch.”

in a few days and they don’t mind if I stay

Suddenly his hands came free. He couldn’t
here until then. The dressing room’s private
feel them, but they were now loose; he
and off-limits to spectators.”

turned himself over.

Cal thought back to the other night. “Don’t

Mother was looking down at him. She gave
be so sure. Rainy and I got in last time, in the
him a sympathetic look. “Hurt bad, honey?”

other arena.”

“Only cause I told the guards to expect

“Need some more pills?” asked Mother.

her.”

Cal shook his head. He’d f illed his per-

The only light in the room came from a
pharm last evening, after Rainy had given him
bare bulb overhead, but it was bright enough
his retainer fee. The pills were already start-
for Cal to see Mother’s face clearly. It had
ing to take effect. Cal was lying on a couch
done a lot of healing since he’d last seen it,
somewhere deep in an arena at the sports
and her appearance was just like he remem-
complex. He rubbed each wrist in turn; al-
bered Elf in Powers. Her vivid green eyes
though the pain had subsided, they were still
starkly contrasted with her dark hair and
sore.

bronze skin. Definitely an attractive woman.

“Feeling better now?” asked Mother. She

He caught himself staring. Mother was
smiled when Cal nodded, then went back to
looking back at him, seemingly amused.

reading her portable screen. Cal noticed that

“Sorry,” muttered Cal. “Just indulging in a
it currently showed some sort of trade maga-
bit of nostalgia. Thinking about—”

zine on the wrestling industry.

Mother’s portable screen chimed. She

Trying to sit up, Cal instinctively propped
looked down. “Dang.”

himself up with a hand. He regretted it at

A voice issued from the little speaker at-
once.

tached to the screen. “Mother. Cal. Please an-

“More painkillers?”

swer.”

Cal glanced at Mother. “No. I just need to

Cal recognized the voice at once: the slow,
be more careful. What did they use on me?”

weighty rhythm of Pill Smith.

“Paralyzing cuffs. From what I’ve heard

Mother blanked the screen.

they don’t work too well. Instead of paralyz-

“Wait.” Cal leaned forward. “What’d you do
ing your hands they just bite into your
that for?”

wrists.” Mother frowned. “Those paramilitary

“They could trace us, couldn’t they?”

creeps they got guarding that lab are really pa-

“Not really. They’re just sending out sig-
thetic.”

nals. If we answer they’ll know we’re in re-

“Corporate espionage. All businesses have
ceiving range, but that’s all.”

tight security to protect their trade secrets.

Mother looked at him. “And you think we

But those guards were a little overzealous.”

should answer?”

Cal rubbed his wrists again and looked

Cal pursed his lips. “Well, I figure we ought
around the room. No window or clock. The
to at least hear what they have to say.”

room was just a small dressing room, much

Mother frowned, but flipped a few switch-
like the one where he’d first met Mother, but
es and popped up the microphone and cam-

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era. “What do you want?” Her tone was un-

Cal nodded, noticed Mother staring disbe-
forgiving.

lievingly at him. He shrugged, and she edged

“Mother?” Pillie seemed to squint; the cam-
away, as if to keep her distance from such
era was cheap, the picture on the other end
silliness.

was no doubt grainy.

“We’ve made a fascinating discovery,” said

“Yeah.”

Rising. “Not directly related to humanized

“Sorry about what happened last night. We
mechs, but it shows what the people who are
fired those guards, okay? The only reason we
making them are capable of. We discovered a
hired them was that we were having prob-
new type of Stewed. This ver sion of
lems with spies lately. But now they’re gone.

Stewed—Stewed II, let’s call it—has the same

Is—”

chemical components but at least one differ-

“Did you fire them cause they tried to hurt
ent property.”

Cal,” said Mother, “or cause I was able to kick

“I’m a pharmacologist,” said Cal. “Or at
their asses?”

least I used to be. I don’t know what your

Pillie paused. “Because they were too vio-
specialty is, but I can think of several easy
lent. Is Cal with you?”

ways to do what you’re talking about.”

Cal moved toward the camera. Mother sat

Pillie’s voice came over the speaker. “Hell,
down on the sofa beside him.

Cal, what do you take us for?”

“Yes,” said Pillie, “I see Cal. Sort of. Good.

“You’re quite right,” said Rising. “I wasn’t

We have to talk. I admit I was really skeptical
being clear. These two substances are com-
at f irst about this idea that Rainy and Rising
posed of the same components, but that
came up with, and I wasn’t even aware of it
doesn’t mean they behave the same way.

when I first talked to you, Cal. I mean, I was

Think of graphite and diamond, for example.

aware of it, but I didn’t know it involved you.

Both are carbon, but they have very different

I . . . wait. Better let Rising explain it.”

properties. However, in the case of Stewed

A middle-aged man showed on the screen.

and its twin, we have determined that they

He was the person Cal had seen standing by
have the same structure. The x-ray crystallog-
his bed with Rainy and Pillie after the trip to
raphy patterns are identical.”

the casino; the man had a long, thin nose and

“What about NMR?”

curly brown hair, receding around the tem-

“They look the same, though the results are
ples. “Hello. I’m Rising Sun, chief scientist
fuzzy, but that’s to be expected since this
here in Pillie’s lab. Rainy told me that you ex-
technique has lower resolution. Our x-ray
pressed considerable skepticism over our no-
crystallography method provides excellent
tion that mechs can be turned into humans.

resolution. The crystals we can grow from

Well, skepticism is usually a healthy thing to
both molecules are perfect—large and uni-
have, and I heartily commend you for it. How-
form and pure—so we have an ideal solid for
ever—”

x-ray scattering. It’s exactly what you hope

Cal said, “How does all of this involve me
for when you’re tr ying to determine the
and Mother? Why did you guys try to hurt
shape of a molecule, and it gives a much
us?”

clearer image than using NMR on a dissolved

“We are most certainly not trying to hurt
sample in solution. When we combine x-ray
you, Cal. We’re trying to protect you.”

crystallography with some other tests to con-

“From whom?”

f irm the placement of hydrogen and some

“From the people who murdered Senator
other details, we can determine the complete

Herald and made it look like Pillie’s fault. And
structure. The structures of the molecules are
the people who are attempting to inf iltrate
the same.”

our society with transformed mechs, like

Cal shrugged. “Could be different isotopes,

Bringem, for illicit purposes.”

I suppose, but the chemical properties

Mother looked at Cal and made a face.

should be pretty much the same.”

“I see by your expression, Mother, that

“But they have at least one difference. One
you’re less than convinced,” Rising said.

activates the area postrema of the brain—the

“How about you, Cal? Are you willing to hear
vomiting center. The other doesn’t.”

me out?”

Cal shook his head. “If you’re talking about

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Senator Herald’s overdose, there has to be an-
safe outside.”

other answer. If Stewed failed to activate her

“We’re not safe inside, either,” said Cal.

area postrema at a high concentration, and

“That’s not true. Listen to me, Cal. I’m sor-
the drug was in fact Stewed, then there must
ry about the guards, but if you hadn’t been
be something different about Blazing Herald.

running away, none of it would have hap-

She must have a highly unusual genotype. It
pened. Come back. I promise you a safe
happens—why do you think we make phar-
haven.”

macies personal? Drugs affect different peo-

“Mother and I will talk it over.” Cal reached
ple in different ways.”

over and broke the connection. The screen

Rising’s smile didn’t fade. “But we tested
blanked. “I’m not going back, at least not for
both Stewed and Stewed II on sample tissues
a while.”

from a wide variety of genotypes. In every

“Same here,” said Mother. “They don’t look
case, Stewed activates the area postrema and
sorry about what happened. Except that we
the other doesn’t.”

got away.”

Cal leaned back, sinking deeper into the

Cal clasped his hands, placed his chin on
sofa. “I don’t understand. The function of
his knuckles.

large biological molecules depends on how

After a few minutes of silence, Mother said,
they interact with other large molecules, and

“So what’s the plan?” She waited patiently
the interactions depend on the shape of the
while Cal stared straight ahead.

molecules. If two molecules have the same

Finally Cal said, “I’m going to visit a friend.”

shape. . . .”

He got up and went to the door.

“Well,” said Rising, “if it’s any consolation,

Mother rose too. “I should probably come
we’re not exactly coming up with a lot of bril-
with you. We should stick together.”

liant theories either. We’re not even sure how

“All I’m going to do is visit a friend of mine.

Stewed II gets made in the f irst place. It just

He works for a mech manufacturer.”

showed up in a particular batch from the fac-

Mother looked surprised. “I thought you
tory, and the only way we could separate it
agreed with me. Bringem isn’t a mech.”

from the rest was by doing that test, the one

“I never said he was.” Cal looked at her, un-
with the area postrema. We had to test a great
sure of how much to say. He had a growing
deal of material before we found any Stewed
feeling that he shouldn’t say anything. He

II, so however it gets made, it seems to occur
opened the door. “I’ll let you know what I
rarely.”

find out.”

Cal closed his eyes, became lost in thought.

“If you’ll tell me where you’re going I’ll feel

No one spoke for a minute or two.

better. Why don’t you let me drive you?”

“Cal?” Pillie said. “Cal, you still there?”

“I’m not going far. I’ll ring you in a bit.

From the other end of the sofa Mother said,

Thanks again for all your help.” Cal waved

“Yeah, but he’s concentrating.”

and shut the door.

Cal straightened up, gave a curious look at

He walked down the hall toward the guard

Mother. She looked back at him, puzzled.

kiosk and the exit. Pulling out his comm he

“Something wrong?” she asked.

keyed in a few instructions, then stared at the

Cal stared at her a moment longer. Some-
screen in disbelief. A minute later he retraced
thing strange about Mother . . . but he wasn’t
his steps and knocked on Mother’s door.

sure what it was. Just a feeling, something

“Short trip,” said Mother, after she opened
that fleetingly registered in his mind and then
up.

a moment later disappeared.

Cal held up his comm. Mother peered at

“Hello?”

the screen.

“Right,” said Cal, moving into the camera’s

“Wow,” she said. “Can’t get too far on that,
view once more. “Thanks for the update.

can you?”

Plenty to think about.”

Cal nodded, frowning. His bank account

“We want you two to come back to the
balance, which should have been something
lab,” said Pillie. His f leshy cheeks f illed up
in the neighborhood of thirty thousand dol-
the little screen; apparently he’d nudged Ris-
lars, was now reading zero.

ing out of their camera’s range. “You aren’t

* * *

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Mother’s two-seater shot out of the garage
called, had been quite the exhibitionist.

and made a sharp turn, spurting forward,

When he knew her as Elfin, back when she’d
gaining speed and heading for Automatic 70
been Bringem’s girlfriend, he hadn’t given

West.

her much thought. A party girl, not much up-

“So who zeroed you out?” asked Mother.

stairs but good-looking and tough, kind of

“Wish I knew,” said Cal. “Somebody who
like an Amazon warrior. But now she called
either knew my pernum, or was savvy
herself Mother, and she was slightly bitter—
enough to sneak around network security.”

though after the way Bringem dumped her,

They reached A70W. Mother merged into
who could blame her?

the traff ic stream, got into the far left lane.

Yet every once in a while she gave you a

The beacons swept past, and Mother clicked
nebulous feeling that something more was
the auto button and released the steering
there. An element of mystery. Even more mys-
wheel. She turned to Cal, who watched ner-
terious was what she had seen in Bringem, vously—sometimes the beacons and car sen-back when she was Elf in. People in the lab
sors didn’t communicate correctly at f irst,
had talked about it every once in a while. As
and most people made sure of the linkage be-

Cal sat staring at her, it suddenly dawned on
fore they let go. Mother didn’t even check.

him how much Elf in had reminded him of a

“So this friend of yours,” she said. “He’s go-
male techie’s idea of a perfect woman.

ing to tell you something interesting?”

Bending over, Cal studied the panel housed

“I hope so.” Cal kept an eye on the steering
in the seat divider. With some effort he man-
wheel, but the car was tracking okay.

aged to read the labels, although from his per-

“Thanks for driving me. And for the money.

spective they were upside down. He glanced

I’ll pay you back.” Mother had transferred
at Mother, who was still chilling out, eyes
three hundred dollars into a temporary ac-
closed and blouse flapping.

count and gave Cal access to it.

A short time later the exit warning beeped.

“Don’t worry about it. Besides, like I said, I

Mother gripped the steering wheel and killed
think we should stick together.”

the automatic linkage. Sunroof and window

It was a relatively warm day and ver y
whirred closed.

bright; the afternoon sun glinted off the

The dashboard display flashed on, showing
windscreen. Cal blinked as the car negotiated
a street map. “Punch in the address,” said
a gentle turn, toward the light. The screen au-

Mother.

tomatically darkened.

Cal hesitated.

Air began to circulate as Mother cracked

“Don’t tell me you don’t know it,” said
open a window. Her chair’s backrest tilted,

Mother. She grinned. “Are we going to have
whirring toward the trunk. Mother leaned
to drive around?”

back and placed her sandaled feet on two

“No. I remember now.” Cal keyed in the
padded footrests on the dashboard. The sun-
code, and a red star blinked near the upper
roof opened, letting in more air, and Mother
left quadrant. Several possible routes were
closed her eyes and raised her arms, letting
suggested, highlighted in yellow. Mother se-
the wind whip around her hair and loosely
lected one. While she was preoccupied with
fitting blouse.

the map, Cal deftly reached over and flipped

“What did you mean back in Pillie’s lab,
one of the switches on the seat-divider panel.

when you said Rainy was dangerous?” Cal had

Mother followed the route through a series
to raise his voice, as the wind was whistling
of turns. A large office building, situated at a
loudly.

busy intersection, soon appeared. Mother

Mother, eyes still closed, shouted back:

pulled over to the curb. “Look familiar?”

“That bitch is no good. I can tell. She’s the

“That’s it.” Cal reached for the door.

type who’ll kick you when you’re not look-

“Are you sure you don’t want me to hang
ing.”

around? I don’t mind. Hell, I got nothing to

Cal stared at her. Mother’s blouse was be-
do until the match this weekend.”

ing blown around like a flag, probably reveal-

“I’m sure. Go back to the arena. This is go-
ing more of her than she realized. Or maybe
ing to take a while. I’ll take the bus back to
not; maybe she did realize it. Elf in, Cal re-
town.” Cal got out, waved goodbye. Mother

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zoomed off.

She’d hung around. Maybe there was a

He went into the office building. The first
good reason, having nothing to do with spy-
floor had plenty of shops. Cal walked around
ing on him. But probably not.

the main concourse until he found a news-

He was glad he’d told her the wrong ad-
stand and snack bar. He bought a paper and a
dress.

cola. The next thirty minutes he planted him-
self on a bench and began to think about

Cal’s friend and broodmate worked for

Stewed II.

GenomePlete Technologies. He hadn’t been

It was a clue—if you looked at it the right
surprised when Cal called him up, since he
way. Stewed II was interesting but Cal sus-
was someone who’d always been willing to
pected he had the answer, though the only
give a few dollars to a needy friend. He did
way to be sure was for someone to get busy
act surprised, however, when Cal showed up
in the lab. Rising Sun, perhaps. The impor-
and didn’t ask for money.

tant thing was that the clue came not from

“You want to look at our data?”

the mystery of Stewed II but the existence of

Cal nodded and explained the situation.

the substance itself.

Shortly thereafter he got an audience with the

Bringem was a genius at simulating molec-
company’s chief scientist.

ular and biological systems. The DNA com-

“Intelligent mechs?” The elderly scientist
puter had proven it, and, Cal had to admit,
laughed. “That’s a new one on me,” he said,
there were times when he’d felt jealous.

still grinning.

Bringem was the one guy he’d met who was

“That was my reaction too, when I f irst
a lot smarter than himself.

heard about it,” said Cal. “But now I’m not so

As for Stewed II, Bringem probably noticed
sure.”

it when he was working with Pillie’s lab, and

“I can tell you honestly that GPT has ab-
it was just the sort of thing that would have
solutely no interest in creating mechs with
gotten his attention.

human or superhuman intelligence. God,

Simulations, Cal thought. Things that look
think of the horrible publicity! I’m old
and act like other things.

enough to remember the brouhaha when

Finally he got up and found a comm sta-
mechs f irst came out. All that fuss over sim-
tion. “My comm’s broken,” he said to the
ple, dumb mechs, just because they looked
clerk, “and I need to send an important mes-
like people. What you’re talking about would
sage.” He punched his account code and the
renew the argument, make it an order of mag-
carrier frequency of the message.

nitude worse.”

The clerk stared at a screen behind the

“But is it possible? Could an intelligent
counter. He hit some buttons, then shook his
mech be made?”

head. “Your comm probably isn’t broken.

The scientist shrugged. “I really wouldn’t

There’s some interference on that frequency
think so. But I couldn’t rule it out. I haven’t
band. Not all that surprising—it’s close to the
thought much about it. A lot of our work
frequencies that cars use to exchange data
these days involves developing a more eff i-
with the automatic beacons. You should
cient model for underwater work. We’re
change your carrier. People sometimes forget
tweaking kidney genes, trying to give a mech
to turn off their car switch and drive around
the ability that some marine mammals have of
town broadcasting. But if you want to wait,
excreting urine that’s more salty than seawa-
sir, they may drive out of range shortly. A few
ter. That way mechs could safely drink seawa-
blocks will do it, and then—”

ter, if they needed to. Humans can’t, since we

“That’s all right.” Cal waved his hand when
can’t eliminate the salt in seawater, which de-
the clerk tried to refund his credit. “Keep it.

stroys our delicate ion balance.”

You got a back way out of here?” He smiled.

“So you can do a lot of things by tweaking

“I’m in a hurr y and don’t want to wade
genes.”

through the crowd outside.”

“Right. But giving them human minds is

A moment later Cal caught a cab. He kept
above and beyond anything we could ever
looking out the back window until he was
dream of right now.”

sure Mother wasn’t following him.

“That’s what I thought,” said Cal, nodding.

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“But suppose there’s a person—a mech, I
portant item of information—something he
mean—that you suspect might have been ma-
already suspected was true. Nobody in the
nipulated. Maybe it’s not truly intelligent but
mech manufacturing industry was shedding
it seems to be. Is there a way you could tell?

any tears over Senator Herald. It was a fact,

Biopsy, maybe?”

quietly substantiated by Wall Street analysts,

“Offhand, that’s the only way I can think of.

that the controversial politician had been

You’d need lab samples because in situ imag-
preparing to introduce legislation that could
ing wouldn’t give you enough information.

potentially suffocate the whole mech indus-

You can spot a mech with a biopsy—you can
try. Evidently Blazing Herald was one of those
prove they’re missing some genes by looking
people who found the whole android con-
at the DNA or by showing the lack of associ-
cept to be repulsive. Because of her energy,
ated proteins. But how could you tell if genes
inf luence, and debating skills, mech manu-
had been somehow replaced or altered?

facturers had become worried about the mav-

You’d need a brain sample, and you’d have to
erick senator.

study it carefully before you could be sure

And, Cal thought, so had Bringem. Cal
that the genes weren’t naturally occurring al-
wondered how many mechs Bringem had
leles. In fact, even studying the sample in a
programmed . . . and what sort of things they
well-equipped laboratory might not tell you
were doing. Quite a lot, apparently. Bringem
for sure that something had been manipulat-
had gotten extremely rich, well beyond their
ed. Since we’re letting our imagination go
lottery winnings.

wild here, there’s no reason to assume that

In the evening Cal walked to the bus sta-
what you’re suggesting can’t be done with
tion. He was feeling queasy and lightheaded,
some sort of strange combination of natural
but nothing serious. Mother had managed to
genes.”

slip him some more of that diff icult-to-trace

“But what about programming?”

poison, but Cal had been more careful this

“You mean, the way we hard-wire knowl-
time. It was a good thing Bringem evidently
edge into mechs?”

wanted to make Cal’s death appear to be ac-

Cal nodded. “How do you do it?”

cidental, like Herald’s, so that it would arouse

“A variety of ways. Electrical stimulation,
little suspicion. Yet Bringem was worried
drugs that affect synapses. It’s more of an art
enough to make the attempt—and a risky one
form than a science. It’s hard to do, and that’s
at that. In a perverse but very real sense, Cal
why most mechs are so limited. But the
was flattered that Bringem was worried.

brain—even a mech’s brain—is so complicat-

And encouraged too. There must be some
ed that it’s almost unimaginable to do any bet-
kind of proof.

ter than the algorithms we’ve got now.”

Cal made it to the research center on

“Suppose someone managed to do the

Dillerd Street a half-hour before they closed
unimaginable. Any way you could tell what
to volunteers for the night.

was done?”

The scientist thought a moment, then

Safely ensconced in a small chamber at the
shook his head. “Doubtful. None of these

Dillerd research center, Cal spent the next
things leave traces. Now, if you were doing an
two days in quiet isolation. Cut off from the
autopsy and you sliced the perfused brain—”

rest of the world in a laboratory with no

“Not an option.” Cal frowned. “That’s
comms and a ton of security, Cal had found a
about what I expected to hear. I just wanted
place where he didn’t have to keep watching
conf irmation.” He stood up, held out his
over his shoulder, where he could take the
hand. “Thanks much for your time.”

time to think things through. He spent hours

As Cal was walking away, the scientist said,
lying in bed, going over everything in his

“But you realize, don’t you, that some sort of
mind, interrupted only by the testing ses-
superior programming algorithm wouldn’t
sions, which made little impression on him.

create an intelligent mech. Merely a better He was also making money. More to the
programmed one.”

point, he was making money without any

“Exactly,” said Cal.

possibility of gambling it away. Yes, he was a

Before he left Cal discovered one more im-
guinea pig—a mech, more or less—but it had

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WorldMags.net
been worthwhile. The notion that he should

“Well, yeah, that’s his thing. But—”

stay here indefinitely was beginning to look a

“I think he’s into programming mechs.” Cal
lot more attractive. What was it his brood
smiled. “I think Bringem found a new kind of
teacher used to tell him? Sometimes what you
algorithm, and then he must have discovered
dread the most turns out to be the best thing
a way of implementing it in neural networks.

that could have happened.

The networks behave almost exactly the

But it was the mech problem that motivat-
same way as they do in a person.”

ed him to check out after two days. He saw

“Why would he want to program mechs?”

the answer.

“What better army could you ask for? To

It happened while he was walking along a
steal. To spy. To kill. He probably kidnaps and
hall with other test subjects to the dining
reprograms mechs, then lets them go back to
area. He caught a glimpse of a researcher in a
their old jobs. That’s a good way to get an in-
small room talking into a microphone. The
side track into secure areas. Very prof itable.

voice was undoubtedly being sent into a test

The world, as they say, would be his oyster.

subject’s room—but for testing purposes

And Bringem was a guy who just loved taking
there was no video, only sound. He stopped,
the pearl.”

stared at the researcher as she spoke into the

“Weird,” said Mother.

tiny instrument. Audio only was extremely

Cal’s comm buzzed. He opened it.

unusual; almost everything was visual these

“Cal, this is Rainy. You there? I can’t see
days. He watched the woman a minute or
you.”

two longer, then remembered the conversa-

“I’m here. My screen’s not working, it’s au-
tion he’d had in Mother’s dressing room with
dio only.”

Rising and Pillie. Something about Mother

“Is Mother with you?”

had bothered him—and now he realized

“Yes. You want to talk to her?”

what it must have been.

“Please.”

Cal slid the comm across the table.

“Sure am glad you told me where you

“Screen’s blank, but the microphone can pick
were,” said Mother. She pulled her car into
you up.”

the lot of a large park on the edge of town.

Mother stared at him with a puzzled ex-

“Crap, I was getting worried.”

pression. “What’s this all about?”

“Sorry about that,” Cal said. “Had to make

“The solution to the problem. Don’t worry,
some money, pay you back.”

go ahead, it’ll be fine. You’ll see.” Cal got up.

Mother stopped the car and looked

“I’m going to the rec center, get something to
around, puzzled. “This where you wanted to
drink. You want something?”

go?”

Mother shook her head.

“Yeah. This is it.” Cal got out, taking his

As Cal walked away he heard Mother talk-
new comm with him.

ing into the microphone. Rainy’s voice an-

The park was nearly deserted this time of
swered from the speaker. The exchange
morning. No one was splashing in the little ar-
rapidly got heated.

tif icial lake or strolling around the paved

Inside the rec center Cal went up to a glass
walkway that circled it. Only a few other cars
window. Pillie and Rising were standing
were parked in the lot, near the recreation
there, both of them watching Mother with
center.

binoculars. Rainy was sitting in a corner, talk-

Cal and Mother walked over to a picnic
ing on the comm.

table in a graveled area between the rec cen-

“I see it,” said Pillie, “and I still don’t be-
ter and the lake. They stepped around a grill
lieve it.”

and sat down underneath a shade tree, a mas-

“Mother was probably his f irst,” said Cal.

sive oak whose early morning shadow fell

“More than likely, he worked on her for years.

nearly all the way to the rec center’s glass

Then when he thought she was perfected, he
windows and patio, which faced the lake.

decided to give her the ultimate test. Could

“Tell me what you found out,” said Mother.

she fool other people? Could she pass in pub-

“I think Bringem’s into programming,” said
lic, in society, as a person? To do the test

Cal.

Bringem needed to get her a pernum, and

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WorldMags.net
that proved impossible. So he did the next
simulation will ever be perfect. A programmer
best thing: he gave her his, slight changes
simply has to give the software a set of de-
having been made. Thus he was without the
faults, so that when something unknown is en-
means of getting around—that explains his
countered, there’s a fall-back. For example,
quiet, reclusive existence—but he managed,
consider facial expressions that humans use to
because after a little more work he had plenty
convey emotions. Expressions are innate in hu-
of little helpers. It also explains his urgent
mans, and we even make them when there’s
need for money. Which I helped him get by
absolutely no reason to do so, such as when
winning the lottery.”

the person we’re talking to can’t see us. But

Rising put down his binoculars. “But she
think about a mech that’s been programmed to
isn’t perfect. I mean, her programming isn’t.”

be efficient, and wasn’t programmed to make

“It can’t be,” said Cal. “Think about Stewed
a specific exception in this case.”

II: it’s a drug just like Stewed, but there’s one

They watched Mother, talking very clearly
big difference between it and Stewed—and
into the microphone, her face as devoid of
that means they can’t be the same thing.

expression as a blank slate, even though

They look the same after cr ystallization

Rainy was engaging her in a highly emotional
freezes them into place, but we’ve always
conversation.

known there are some limitations in x-ray

In a few minutes they saw Mother stop talk-
crystallography. It doesn’t capture the dynam-
ing and fold up the comm.

ics of a molecule in aqueous solution, for in-

Rainy walked over. “You’ve seen enough, I
stance. But that’s where a drug has to
assume. Police are on their way. And they’re
work—in solution in the body’s tissues.”

searching for Bringem, though they haven’t

“But that’s really odd, don’t you think? The
found him yet.”

two molecules have the same diffraction pat-

“Should be interesting to see how she was
tern. They should act the same way.” Rising
put together,” said Pillie.

Sun frowned in thought. “Unless . . .”

“You probably won’t be able to f ind out,”

Cal nodded. “Unless there’s a chemical
said Cal. “And you can’t kill her.”

bond that isn’t quite the same or a subtle kink

They stared at him.

somewhere that gets straightened out when

“You can’t kill her,” he repeated. “I know
the substance solidif ies. So the structure as
she’s not a person. But she’s so close. . . .”

determined by x-ray crystallography would be

“You can study her,” said Rising. “In our
the same but there would be a tiny difference
lab. It’ll be part of your job, when you’re not
in shape when the molecules are in solu-
working with me on Stewed II.”

tion—as they are in the body—though not

“I’ll take the job on one condition. Half of
enough to detect with other methods. Since
my paycheck goes into a trust. I can’t touch
biological molecules are highly dependent on
it—it’s strictly for paying bills and such.”

shape, this could easily cause a difference in

“So you can’t gamble it away,” said Rainy.

behavior when the molecules interact with

She frowned. “But that’s like giving in, admit-
receptors or other proteins. Should be an in-
ting you can’t control yourself or your—”

teresting project for you, Rising.”

Pillie coughed. “We agree to your condi-

“And for you,” said Rising. “How about a
tion,” he said, ushering Rainy away.

job?”

Cal and Rising watched the police officers

Cal thought for a moment, staring out the
approach Mother.

window at Mother. He had planned on going

“Rainy’s wrong,” said Rising. “It’s not giv-
back to Dillerd—it was the only place in the
ing in, it’s being smart.”

last few years where he had found some de-

“I’ve decided to accept who I am,” said Cal.

gree of contentment.

“And deal with the consequences as best as I

“We need you,” said Rising. He looked at
can. I doubt I’ll ever be able to give up gam-

Mother. “I never would have figured it out.”

bling completely.”

“It wasn’t that hard,” said Cal. “Nobody can

The off icers subdued Mother with a stun
possibly program a computer, or DNA, or a hu-
gun. They were gentle—they thought she
man brain, to account for every possible
was human.

event—there’s an infinite number of them. No

TRUE TO FORM

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The

Woman

Who Cried

Corpse

Rajnar Vajra

Not all research gets published through
conventional channels. . . .

n October 10, the fourth time my mom
ate all the time, Mom.” Blaze currently lives died, I struggled to grab a wait-and-see
off-campus at her college in Vermont, but
attitude rather than let myself get so

Glory is a high school junior, living and criti-

Oupset again.It didn’t help that the cizing at home.

nurse who gave me the news sounded so

Sorry again. I’ll try to stop sidestepping to
stressed over the phone. To keep things as
avoid painful memories.

clear as possible before the murk sets in, our

That f irst death, the one only in my mind,
family’s pet name for my mother, Clara Wein-
was actually a proclamation from the physi-
gart, is Gremma. I stopped calling her Ma the
cian overseeing Gremma’s hospital care after
day I gave birth to my f irst child. Her choice.

her devastating stroke with a side order of

She insisted on “Grandma,” which lasted the
heart attack. Dr. Douglas McCallister de-
ten months it took Blaze, my baby, to reach
clared that from his vast experience, he
the stage of mangling names.

knew she couldn’t survive more than anoth-

Also, to be technical, it was only my
er hour max, and that surgery wasn’t an op-
mom’s third death. The f irst one shouldn’t
tion considering the extensive brain and
count, except it sure counted for me. Sorry if
heart damage. He practically demanded that

I misled you. According to Glory, my second
she should immediately be put on “pleasure
and final child so far, a tendency to embellish
feeding,” meaning no IV, and a “palliative
is one of my many character f laws. She has
regimen with morphine liberally applied to
informed me, and I quote, that “you exagger-
ease discomfort,” which I translated as “let’s

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JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2013

WorldMags.net
put the poor thing out of her misery as kind-
pleted and suggested I move her into a nurs-ly as possible.” She hadn’t yet reached the
ing home without delay, maintaining her hos-
eighty year mark, but considering her long-
pice care. I’d already picked out a place far
standing not-even-slightly-heroic-therapy
nicer than most and just needed to make
wishes, I had to agree.

some f inal arrangements. All this health care

I wound up leaving the hospital after sit-
attention would soon eat up Gremma’s sav-
ting by her bed for eleven hours, my husband
ings, which wouldn’t have been such a prob-
and daughter keeping vigil with me until
lem a decade ago before our beloved elected
midnight. By that time, Gremma’s breathing
off icials def lowered Medicare. I started pon-
had normalized, she’d regained the ability to
dering a third mortgage. . . .

swallow, and her eyes were open although I

The f inal bout of grimness came early that
doubt she knew I was there holding her
evening, a few hours after I’d gotten home.

hand. How bizarre to see this woman who’d

Ensconced in the kitchen, where daughter
been brilliant a year ago, before her mini-
number two was unlikely to venture during
strokes began, display no more awareness
the late afternoon for fear of the sous chef
than the bed she lay on. And she looked so
press gang, I was chopping yellow peppers,
different, as if her facial bones had partly col-basil, and chives for couscous, my contribu-
lapsed. With all my heart, I wanted her back
tion to dinner. To give you a thumbnail of my
the way she’d been, practically sparkling
life, Glory, a creature of primitive tastes, in-
with energy, gushing puns that’d make a
sists on calling my variation “cuss-cous,”

Beefeater whimper.

which, when written, may seem either cute

Maybe I should mention this right now.

or unpleasantly precious to you depending

Twice, my mother earned her way onto the
on your tolerance level, but when heard with
short list for the Nobel Prize in physics for
parental ears, mainly felt annoying.

her work on Harmonic Theory. Too bad she

Then the phone rang and my heart froze.

never won.

Sure enough, the hospital was beckoning,

My numero uno rule while driving: turn
but the nurse conveying the latest report of
off the phone. I got home with the sun just

Gremma’s passing spoke in a hoarse, shaky
rising and checked my messages. The omni-
voice, as if my mother’s death had been a
scient Dr. McCallister had called to tell me
personal and unexpected blow. She insisted I

Gremma’s heart had stopped. I woke Carlos,
come to the medical center immediately. I re-

El Spouse, to give him the news and we de-
frigerated the cuss-cous, called Carlos at
cided that he’d better stay home so that Glo-
work and Blaze at her college dorm, grabbed
ry could sleep in and not f ind us both gone.

my mini-purse, slapped on running shoes for

By the time I arrived at the hospital, my
comfort, and drove to the institution I’d be-
mother’s ticker had somehow re-started. I
gun thinking of as my ugly second home ac-
left after a mere eight hours of watching her
companied by a pouting Glor y and a
sleep, listening to her breathing grow
blooming headache.

stronger and clearer. At home again I tried

LA traff ic was typical for the hour, but for
catch up on my own sleep, but at two in the
once the I-10’s SmartDrive system functioned
morning someone a lot more awake than me
so perfectly the f ifteen minute drive only
phoned to claim that Gremma had, well, re-
took a half-hour. No sarcasm, that was a
died. Carlos drove exhausted me and half-
speed record. I’d been involved in develop-
asleep offspring to the supposed deathbed
ing SmartDrive, so I might’ve gotten a minor
and I wasn’t staggered to f ind Gremma alive
frisson of pride if my heart hadn’t weighed a
although anything but alert.

few tons. Off the freeway and nearing our

Then she appeared to stabilize. I took time
destination, the LA travel grid stopped mak-
off from work to visit her daily for the next
ing me proud. Most of the traff ic lights were
week, and each day she seemed unchanged.

out and others randomly blinked on and off

On the eighth morning, Monday, October
in all three colors. Festive.

10, a hospital administrator with all the hu-

My car, thanks to Carlos’s opinion of my
man warmth of permafrost let me know that
driving skills, has more than the minimum le-
my mom’s medical coverage was about de-
gal safety features. So I had the joy of notic-

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ing that the heads-up speedometer display in
thing straightened out.” The lights dimmed
my upper windshield, designed to be in-
for a moment, which emphasized something
creasingly obtrusive as the car f louts posted
disorienting: lit votive candles, likely bor-
speed limits, never resumed transparency al-
rowed from the hospital chapel, glimmered
though I slowed down. More funds, I
here and there.

thought, soon to be diverted to Goodwin

“Brown-outs?” I asked.

Subaru. Too bad the shop doesn’t offer irony

“All I know is that we’ve had electric prob-
discounts. My husband and I probably know
lems for hours,” she complained. “They
a thousand times more about computer-inte-
come and go.”

grated hardware than our trusty car mechan-

We followed her, not to the entrance she
ic, but it takes a special license to legally buy
mentioned, but through several cross-corri-
today’s automotive diagnostic-and-repair soft-
dors and up an elevator to the f ifth f loor.

ware, and the feds are downright brutal to

This f loor, once we reached its chief corri-
anyone obtaining it . . . unoff icially. Actually,
dor, appeared presently unoccupied and was

I applaud these constraints. This is software
mostly administrative off ices. It was warmer
capable of reprogramming vehicle f irmware,
here than down below. Old-fashioned f luo-
and you don’t want hackers or terrorists any-
rescents striped the ceiling; only one in four
where near it.

was turned on. We pushed through a double-

The front parking lots were packed like
door at one end then along another hallway,
metal sardines, partly thanks to extra help-
fully lit, but with its own set of currently un-
ings of cop cars. We wound up in the side lot
needed votive candles. Faint sounds of
nearest the emergency room door and en-
drilling and hammering wafted up from
tered the hospital that way. Lord, how I’d
some f loor below. Finally our tour guide led
grown to loathe the smell of hospital air. Not
us through a f inal door into a small off ice
many patients around, and of those few,
with a bare desk and three chairs, the best
none had an axe embedded in their skull or
one behind the desk.

an obvious gunshot wound; but an unusually

“Make yourselves comfortable right here
large number of staff security guards and city
and someone will be with you shortly.” She
cops were milling around. Concerned for
whirled around and departed, practically

Glory’s safety, I stopped near a cop to ask
slamming the door behind her, before I could
what was up, but the policewoman just
ask a single question.

looked irritated and waved me on. We took a

Glory and I looked at each other and sat
door to the hallway that would, if a person
down in the two side-by-side chairs. “What
trusted arrows, lead to the central lobby.

does she think?” she asked. “We’ve come for

More cops in the hallway and an assort-
our physicals?”

ment of hospital workers including some

I shook my head. “Got no idea, but let’s

RNs. Glory and I watched for a moment.

keep our pants on for now.” My heart, al-

“They rearranging storage rooms?” she
ready thudding from anxiety about my moth-
asked.

er, was getting some extra kick thanks to all

“Maybe, or hunting mice. ” Two open
this strangeness.

doors revealed large spaces crammed with

Well past “shortly,” I heard the dull thuds
equipment and stacked hospital furniture.

of multiple footsteps on linoleum approach-

Staff people were rapidly moving everything
ing. Someone tapped on the door, then
to one side of each room. I was too worried
threw it open. A mismatched quartet of
about my mother to be all that interested.

strangers f iled in: a woman with graying

A nurse I recognized caught my eye, did a
blond hair and the clothes of an overpaid ex-
triple-take, and hurried over to us. She only
ecutive, a uniformed policeman, and two tall
had to travel a few yards but sounded short
men defying the mild temperature by wear-
of breath by the time she arrived.

ing black jackets with wide pockets over

“Mrs. Lopez. They’re waiting for you at the
dark suits with boring ties. Only the cop’s
main entrance.”

eyes seemed to hold any sympathy for the re-

“Who is?” I asked.

cently bereaved.

“Just come with me and we’ll get every-

The taller of the coats spoke f irst. “Alison

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Lopez, daughter of Clara Weingart?”

again marched on. “I was at home, having

“Close,” I admitted. “My last name is hy-
just gotten back from here.” Making green
phenated. Campbell-Lopez.” My mom never
tea and grateful to be away from this place.

took Dad’s family name. “This is my daughter,

“You and your husband are f irmware engi-

Gloria. We’re only here to f ind out about my
neers. Is that correct?”

mother. Has she actually passed on, or is this

I blinked at the brisk switch of direction.

another false alarm?” I tried to sound calm

“That’s how we make a living, although my
and reasonable but my voice had other ideas.

f ield is actually—”

He responded with an indifferent nod as

“According to our records, you once broke
he stepped around my chair to claim the seat
through the f irewalls of the National Emer-
behind the desk. He sat down and studied
gency Broadcasting System to request aid in
me for a time before gesturing to the rest of
locating a lost pet?”

his gang to join him. I appreciated having all

I could feel Glory’s stare on the side of my
this unfriendliness positioned so I could
face like incipient sunburn. Or maybe that
watch it all at once. The female, who I took
was just part of my blush. “When I was nine.

for a hospital administrator, stood nearest the

And I was told that the record of that, um, in-
seated man and gave him a look almost as
cident had been . . . expunged.”

cold as the one she’d given me.

“Given your extraordinary skills at that

That much I understood. “Apparently
young age, wouldn’t it be logical to presume
chivalry really is dead,” I told her and she fa-
that you are now a leading expert in the f ield
vored me with a bitter smile.

of computer science?”

The seated man ignored the byplay. “I’m

His professorial manner of speech remind-

Special Agent Byron Forbes.” He held out a
ed me of how my mom used to talk when in

National Security Service ID badge with
lecture mode. Only he didn’t have her trace
enough holographic confection to work as a
of British accent, didn’t throw in atrocious

Christmas ornament. “The NSS, Mrs. Camp-
puns, and didn’t sound nearly as pleasant.

bell-Lopez, has, as of this month, assumed all

“I’m a skilled coder, sure, but not necessarily
functions and powers of both the FBI and the
leading. What does any of this have to do

DHS.”

with my mother?”

“I know.” I’d taken him for a police detec-

Forbes ignored both the lights dimming
tive and found myself even more confused
brief ly and my question. “I doubt many pro-
over his actual status.

grammers even approach your level. And

“To complete our introductions,” he said
fewer still would f ind themselves in such a f i-
as though he’d covered the only important
nancial bind.”

one, “this is Doctor Evana Swenson, Mercy

Now it was my turn to frown. “My hus-

Hospital’s general administrator.” He tilted
band and I earn a healthy income.”

his head toward the woman without taking

“Last year, in July of 2038, you took out a
his eyes off me. “Next to her, my colleague
second mortgage on your home.” He said

Special Agent Ronald Hightower, and f inally
this without needing to consult his link or

Lieutenant Ridley Brown of the LAPD, our
even a sticky note. What else had this man
search coordinator.” Brown gave me a tiny
memorized about me and mine?

bow.

“That’s right. We had a family emergency

“What are you searching for?”

and didn’t care to burn all of our savings.”

That pinned a frown below Forbes’s un-

“Your husband required brain surgery for a
dersized nose. “We’re not here to answer
non-malignant but growing tumor.”

your questions, but I strongly urge you to an-

“So? What’s your point?”

swer mine. Where were you, precisely, two

“His condition required two particularly
hours ago?”

delicate, long, and expensive procedures.

I glanced at my link, but the clock display

Your insurance paid for three-fourths of the
had frozen up. Strange, I’d charged the unit
medical costs involved, leaving you nearly
just last night and while this particular link
three hundred thousand dollars to cover,
took a lot of charging, it usually held a charge
plus your two thousand dollar deductible.

for days. I pressed the reboot tab and time

Then your husband had to take a four-month

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hiatus from work to recover during which
between us. “Believe me, a full confession
your family paid for daily private therapy. At
from you right now is the only way to ensure
the same time, your reported income level—
the most positive outcome for you and your
despite your unexpected overhead—pre-
family.”

vented your daughter Blaze from qualifying

For too long a moment I couldn’t talk as
for scholastic f inancial aid, which forced you
confusion, fury, and a sick emptiness in my
to assume her entire college tuition, study
stomach fought for dominance. Finally fury
materials, and living expenses.”

won and there was nothing cold about the

I could barely stop myself from hissing at
way I looked at Forbes.

this jerk like a furious cat. “She helped by

“What, exactly, are you accusing me of ?”

working on campus. Again, what’s your

The two agents exchanged a glance,
point?”

Forbes gave a little nod, and for the f irst time

“You’ve been asking about your mother

Special Agent Hightower spoke up. For such
and perhaps it’s time to discuss her situation
a big man, he had a high-pitched voice. “Be-
as it affects yours. Both her insurance and
fore you supposedly left Mercy a few hours
personal savings are nearly exhausted. She
ago, you must’ve hacked into the local main-
has been living on funds from a reverse mort-
frame, remotely, you know? That way you
gage, the current lowered Social Security
could shut down your mom’s monitors with-
benef it, and some minor annuities. You were
out setting off any alarms. Then you killed
about to move her to a nursing home and
her. Maybe smothered the lady—hard to
continue providing the hospice care she has
know ‘til we f ind the body. But that’s when
been receiving here. Since the latest budget
you blew it. Bad timing. You didn’t expect
cuts, neither the state nor federal govern-
that nurse to check in so soon, did you? We
ment subsidizes hospice services for the dy-
f igure you heard her coming and only had a
ing elderly. How were you planning to pay
moment to hide, behind that empty bed near
for your mother’s care if she survives for
the window maybe. When the nurse took
more than another few weeks?”

off, you used your remote to shut off the

I chewed my lip for a moment. “We’ll work
building’s power and keep the backup from
that out, we always do.”

taking over. Then you just grabbed a wheel-

“Haven’t you already done so? About two
chair from the hall and wheeled your mom
hours ago, this hospital’s power went out for
out of here, possibly with help although you
a few seconds. After that, a nurse, checking
look tough enough to manage on your lone-
up on Clara Weingart, discovered that she
some.”

had died and that her medical monitors were

I was getting some idea of how a trapped
off-line. She pressed the emergency button
rabbit might feel. Hightower started to add
but that system, too, was off line. She then
something but after one syllable, Forbes shut
went to report these matters to the charge
him down with a look, then aimed his eyes
nurse. When she reached her supervisor,
back at me, just staring without saying a

Mercy Hospital’s power went down for over
damn thing. After a minute, I realized his
ten minutes.” He gave me a prolonged and
silent focus was a technique, but still felt so
particularly icy stare. “What’s more remark-
damn rattled that it took me another minute
able is that the emergency generator failed to
to remember, with great relief, that I had an
take over. During that time, neither lights nor
easy alibi.

mounted security cameras were operational.

I cleared my throat, not trusting my vocal

When power resumed, the nurses discovered
chords. “Look. All you have to do is check
that someone had removed your mother’s
my car’s driving logs. Everything is time-
body.”

stamped and there’s GPS routing data logged

“What? You’re saying my mother’s . . . miss-
for every trip.” I sent a glare Hightower’s
ing?”

way. “You can even check my logs remote-

“We are conducting a complete search of
ly.”

the hospital to be thorough, but it is entirely

Forbes retained control. “That’s where
clear what happened.” He leaned forward as
matters become interesting.” Seemed to me
if preparing to dive at me right over the desk
his eyes suddenly held an odd gleam. “You

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and your husband own a Subaru Spark, Cali-
me. The sounds were hor r ible: yells,
fornia vanity plate 900d c0d3. ” He pro-
screams, and ugly grunts somehow worse
nounced each alphanumeric, not the words.

than screams, all too audible because the

“Have you driven any other car today?”

guns produced gassy little snaps rather than

“No. My husband usually takes the—”

ear-bursting bangs. And it instantly stank in

“Our agency has already downloaded your
the room, f ireworks smoke mixed with a fe-

Spark’s driving logs, or rather tried to down-
cal stench and the metallic tang of fresh
load them. The relevant data has been erased
blood.

including present location.”

The dim f igures of my four interrogators

“Not by me!” So much for my relief.

slumped forward or dropped to the f loor.

“I f ind that implausible. The truly remark-

Not even Doctor Swenson was spared and I
able aspect to this turn of events is that every felt spatters of something warm and wet
car we’ve checked that’s come within a mile
cooling on my face and hands. The next in-
of this hospital in the last several hours has
stant, someone gr ipped my ar ms and
also lost its routing record and GPS tag. You
dragged me backwards and through the door
needn’t feign surprise. Weren’t you chief de-
before I could react.

signer of the LA traff ic safety grid? And don’t

In the hall, my eyes had adapted enough to
you f irmware jockeys always leave, ah, a
see that the big man who’d grabbed me
backdoor in your systems for your private
didn’t actually have a bug’s head but was
use?”

wearing optical gear over his eyes. Another

“Hardly! Besides, twelve other coders
man came after us, half carrying my daugh-
worked with me on that project and we all
ter.

checked each other’s work.”

“Not one word,” my capturer threatened. I

He made a sound a little too harsh to come
didn’t see his gun, but knew he still had it so
off as a chuckle. “Nevertheless, your success

I didn’t argue. “Come with me as quickly as
in accomplishing something that my agency’s
you can.”

experts inform me should be impossible sug-

We started down the hallway and my new
gests an opportunity for you. I strongly urge
worst friend extinguished every lit votive
you to use it while you can. Due to your ac-
candle we passed. I could still see a little
tions, three patients here have died, two
thanks to random car headlights reaching the
from life-sustaining equipment failures when
distant windows and a general glow from
the power went out, and another during
outside. One hell of a bang behind us made
surgery when the surgeons could no longer
me jump. I whirled around in time to see a
see.”

f igure lurch across the hallway, and my spin

He waited for a moment, perhaps to see
freed me for an instant. My captor hurriedly
guilt condense on my face.

grabbed my other arm while emptying at

“I can offer no guarantees,” he continued,
least four bullets into the collapsing f igure

“and surely you will be spending consider-
while Glory’s chaperone followed suit. Then
able prison time, but I shouldn’t need to re-
both men ran out of bullets or f inally noticed
mind you that California reinstated the death
the buggy goggles on the dead man’s face.

penalty for exceptional crimes. Between

Two more terrifying bangs shook the air and
your reckless disregard for life and the actual
both my captor and my daughter’s grunted,
murder of—”

fell, and lay still.

The light went out. Then terrible things

A brighter-than-usual passing headlight re-
happened very, very quickly.

vealed another man prone on the carpet near
the off ice I never wanted to go back into,

I heard the door thrown open behind me
pointing a ver y large pistol my way. As I
and felt the breeze of it. My eyes couldn’t get
watched, he lowered the weapon and slowly
much traction from the hallway candlelight,
rose to his feet.

but I got an impression of three man-like

“You two all right?” he called out softly,
creatures with insect heads rushing into the
and I recognized Hightower’s squeaky voice.

room f iring guns. I reached over to pull Glo-

It took that long for me to f igure out what
ry out of the way and found her reaching for
had just happened. Somehow, the agent had

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survived the attack and blasted the third as-

Look, someone cut the juice to this f loor so
sassin who’d lagged behind. Then he’d
that hostiles could take us out without much
picked up the man’s corpse and hurled it
worry about us f iring back. But these guys—
across the hallway. While the assassin’s

” he waved an arm toward the dead assassins
cronies were busy making their pal redun-

“—couldn’t haven’t have killed the power
dantly dead, Hightower had snuck from the
and attacked us almost at the same moment.

off ice and gotten into sniper position to res-

Now do you get it?”

cue my daughter and me. A risky business for

“We have more enemies somewhere in the
us considering that I doubted he could see
building.”

well enough to shoot accurately.

“Count on it. By now they probably know

“Glory,” I called out, probably louder than
something went wrong and are on their way

I needed to, “are you hit?”

for a second strike. No way I can get an ex-

“Just scared, Mom. But not hurt.”

traction team here fast enough, so we’ve got

“We’re f ine, Agent,” I lied, knowing that
to get off this f loor pronto.”

when the numbness wore off, the trauma

“But what do they want?” I hadn’t meant
wouldn’t. By that time, he’d reached us.

to sound so forlorn.

“Thought you’d been killed.”

“Lady, you really that naïve? Just come

“PPT8 vest.” He breathed in little gasps.

along.” He started down the hallway almost

“Vests are mandatory for all f ield work, but
at a sprint, but slowed down either so that
they’re not perfect. ’Fraid I’ve got a busted
we could catch up with him or because run-
rib or three.”

ning hurt his ribs. He waited until we’d all

“So is Agent Forbes—”

reached the elevator door then pushed the

“Shot in the head.” His voice sounded stiff,
elevator button. The button didn’t light up
as though keeping something big pent up.

and he leaned to hold an ear against the door.

He tucked his gun away in a shoulder holster

“Please,” I said, “pretend I’m exactly that
then bent down to check the condition of his
naïve and explain.”

victims using a shockingly callous technique.

“Sure, why not. Whatever you used,” he

With each man in turn, he pinched their nos-
said, panting a little, “to kill all local power
trils shut while sealing their mouths with a
and screw with vehicle records amounts to a
palm. Satisf ied, I suppose, by the result, he
new kind of weapon, one badass weapon in
peeled off one assassin’s bulging eyewear
the wrong hands. And some terrorist group
and examined its interior. I couldn’t imagine
or foreign power was on the ball enough to
how he could see details. Then he went
catch on too damn quick. Whoever these
through the pockets of their garments and
people are, they’re smart and organized even
unzipped one man’s . . . jumpsuit, if that’s
if they don’t have the best tech.” Keeping his
what it was. I could barely make out the un-
ear in place, he reached over to jab the but-
dergarment, but thought it might be a blood-
ton a few more times. “Figures, nothing do-
stained nurse’s outf it or possibly scrubs.

ing. For sure they’ll have the doors to the rest

Hightower pulled back enough of the materi-
of the f loor blocked or guarded, but we’ll
al to reveal a third, darker layer.

check before trying anything . . . extreme.”

“Kevlar,” he snorted. “Heavy as hell and

I grabbed his arm. “Wait. I did not murder useless against what I’m carrying.” He stood
my mother and had nothing, nothing to do
up again. “We got a problem.”

with cutting the power. This is all some hor-

“You think?” Glory said, her sarcastic tone
rible mistake.”

ruined by the way her voice broke.

He hesitated for a second. “You sound like

He ignored her. “Look down the hall,
you mean it, but how many coincidences can
ma’am. See how bright it is outdoors?” Didn’t
you expect me to swallow? That fact that you
look bright to me. “Other parts of the hospi-
just happen—never mind! Getting you out of
tal must have power, so this can’t be just an-
here is job one right now. This way, and try
other outage.”

to move quiet.”

My mind was too numb to understand.

He herded us to the stairwell door but held

“What are you saying?”

out an arm to stop us before we’d quite

“Thought you were supposed to be smart.

reached the doorway. He put his mouth close

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to my ear and whispered, “We’ll wait right

“I know, but who’s the lesser evil right here until I check this out. This thing has an
now? How you holding up?”

inset window and we don’t want to be seen

“I’m scared, mom. A lot.”

by a hostile posted outside.”

I pulled her in for a hug and could feel her

He reached with one long arm to tug on
trembling. Much of my own fear evaporated
the door’s vertical handle and I could tell he
along with countless layers of day-to-day
was doing so gently. Then he tried a soft
grind, exposing just how precious Glory was
push. He whispered again, “Like I thought,
to me. Write it off to maternal instinct if you
blocked. That’s better for us than only guard-
like, but the need to protect her steadied me
ed, because we might have more time. Duck
like nothing else could. My brain started
way below the window level as we move
working again.

along. Pass it on to your kid.”

Faint rustling and clicking sounds drifted

I repeated the message in Glory’s ear and
down the hallway, and soon Hightower reap-
we didn’t so much duck as crawl past the
peared with a chair in one arm and a bundle
stairwell. Beyond the door, we all stood and
of some kind in the other. He released the

Hightower led us down the hallway to the
bundle, which spread out on the f loor into
huge window where it ended. The glass was
three dark jumpsuits.

framed in two tall sections, each almost three

“Picked up your purse while I was at it,”

feet wide, divided by a sturdy-looking vertical
he said. I’d mentally abandoned the poor
bar. Enough light snuck through for me to
thing. “We’ll leave it in my pocket for now.

see the spatters of dried blood on Glory and

You’ll be needing both hands.”

on my arms and clothes. I could also see

He left again, and just as Glor y asked,

Hightower’s face and its own collection of

“Where’s he gone this time?” I heard a soft
spatters; no dark stains showed on his over-
thud then an extended hissing noise. He re-
coat, but it must’ve had plenty. He kept his
turned dragging a huge but thin double pan-
expression stony, but to me it looked like
el, the sort of thing used to construct off ice
worried stone.

cubicles. Looked heavy. He muscled it up-

“Can you two handle heights?” he asked af-
right, unfolded it far enough to stand on its
ter examining the window and its trimmings.

own, and turned it to block our view of the

My daughter and I exchanged glances.

hallway.

“What,” I wondered, “do you have in mind?”

“That’ll give us privacy,” he said, panting

“Maybe you noticed that the hospital has
fast and rubbing his ribs, “if any hostile
like a stepped stone coating? That’ll give us
comes out to play.” He f lopped down in the
handholds and footholds.”

chair and began knotting the suits into a se-

I shook my head hard enough to risk con-
ries. “They’ll f igure at least one of us is
cussion before I could f ind the right words.

ar med and won’t know where we are.

“Can’t speak for Glory, but I’m not strong

Should slow them down.”

enough to hang onto to those tiny ledges.

“That last one,” I commented, “could be a

And aren’t we more than forty feet up?”

granny.”

“I don’t like heights,” Glory offered.

“Nope. Square knot for sure.” He tugged

“Didn’t mean you’d be, uh, unsupported.

on the ends and the knot held. “See?”

You’ll be using a rope and standing on a

“Fine, but how do you plan to get us out
ledge; there’s one beneath every window.”

the window? Break the glass in case of some-

I looked around. “Got a rope hidden some-
one f iring at you?”

where? This is an administrative f loor. No

He glanced up at me. “You got your sar-
bed sheets or towels, far as I can tell.”

casm on again. That’s good if it means you’ve

“Leave that part to me and get ready to
settled in. Anyway, we got no tools to pop
move out. Don’t go anywhere.”

the frame, so breaking is our only choice. It’ll

He rushed off back the way we’d come,
make noise and some enemy might notice
silent as moonlight. My daughter voiced a
glass falling, but maybe we’ll be lucky.”

sort of nervous growl. “Let’s not trust that

“Hang on, we might have other options.”

man.” I could barely hear her. “He really

“Yeah?”

thinks you killed Gremma.”

“Look, it will probably make you even

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more suspicious of me, but this link on my
tem had been installed over an open source
wrist is a bit . . . unusual. Built it myself. Give platform that was beyond geriatric, and a
me a moment and I should be able to call up
chunk of the creaky old system remained ac-
the schematics—I mean blueprints of this
tive and accessible.

building. Could be an easier way down,

“Let me get this straight,” Glory said too
maybe, ventilation shaft or something.”

loudly. “You expect us to jump out a window

He snorted. “Ventilation shaft. Not in real
a million miles in the air, and climb down
life, lady. As for checking out blueprints of a
slippery, blood- soaked clothes to the next building this size, your link screen is too
f loor?”

damn small.”

Hightower did a kind of reverse sniff.

“Sure about that?”

“Lower your voice. You won’t be jumping.

“You’d have to zoom way in, and then it’d

I’ll just lower you to the ledge right beneath
take hours to scroll through the place. So un-
the window we’ll enter through. You’ll untie
less you got a bigger screen in your purse—”

yourself and then hang on until I climb down

“Not in my purse.” As I f iddled with my
and make us a new entrance. Simple. Good
wrist-toy, its hidden panel sprang out, un-
thing you’re both wearing sport shoes.”

folded twice into a four by six inch LEP, and

“Found the blueprints,” I announced.

lit up. Hightower emitted a low whistle. With

“Any ducts big enough for us to crawl
one touch, I activated my network-inf iltrat-
through?” he asked with a scorn coating.

ing stealth app. “Big enough? While I’m cud-

“Hang on. Um. Can’t f ind any.”

dling up to the system here, why don’t you

Glory wasn’t done. “Why don’t we just
call for, um, backup or whatever the ‘real
wait here for your buddies to show up and
life’ term might be.”

rescue us?”

“Already done.”

“They have to organize and get here. Even

It wasn’t easy to keep my eyes on the
by copter, ten minutes at best and I’d say we
screen. “When? Not while you were playing
got no more than f ive left, if that. The hos-
possum in that office.” He wouldn’t have had
tiles can f igure how long they got before my time, and unless he used some kind of magic
people show up.”

voice silencer, a phone call could’ve seriously

“If my mom is so important, why didn’t
dented the notion he was dead. Probably his
you bring more than two agents to begin
link had a call-out-the-troops button.

with?”

“Spoke with headquarters while grabbing

That was a damn good question, and one I
these soon-to-be ropes.”

should’ve thought of. Apparently Hightower

“Really? But you weren’t that far away, and
didn’t appreciate it much because he mum-

I didn’t hear . . .” I had an odd notion and ex-
bled something under his breath that didn’t
amined it from a few sides before committing
sound cheery.

myself. “You know, there’s been some online

“Look,” he said, “we got no time for this.

chatter about new military bio-implants. You

Unless you want to die or get captured again,
wouldn’t happen to have something like that
we need to get out of here now.”

for communicating on the down-low?” Im-

I’d f igured he’d brought the chair along for
plants would also explain how he could see
window-smashing purposes. Instead, he used
so well in the dark.

it as a perch for reaching the highest part of

He ran silent for a long moment. “I’d like to
the right-hand window to tap it with an odd-
know who was doing this chattering.”

ly shaped hammer. As he started bashing one

That was answer enough, but I wasn’t
corner of the glass, not too hard at f irst, I re-
about to give him names even if I weren’t
alized that his tool was actually one of the as-
busy testing ports to access the local system.

sassin’s guns. I trusted he’d remembered to

“Ropes are ready,” he said. “Nylon, I think,
latch the safety.

and a bit slippery, but the knots will support

Gradually, he increased the force of his
your feet on the way down.”

blows until, suddenly, the window’s corner

“Just a sec.” How I adore legacy compo-
crazed, but didn’t quite crack.

nents. So easy to f ind a vulnerable port here

“Yes!” he muttered with real enthusiasm.

because the hospital’s current operating sys-

“God bless California earthquakes and con-

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tractors who cut corners. This is the cheap-
daughter feel more secure on her own trip est kind of safety glass and it’s going to make
down. He shook glass off the chair and then
all this much easier.”

gestured for me to climb and stand on it,

“What do you mean?” Glor y asked. He
which I did, trying not to show Glory how
didn’t reply and began hammering the win-
much I cherished the idea.

dow again, hard, all around its edges until the

“Grab this knot right here,” he said, grab-
entire window seemed to be framed with
bing another for himself, “and then just put
crackled glazing.

your feet on the last knot as you step outside.

“Stand back,” he ordered. “Don’t bother

I’ll be your elevator, don’t worry about that
covering your ears.” Using the same gun, he
part. When you reach the ledge, put one foot
carefully aimed at the window’s center and
at a time on it and keep holding the rope
f ired off four quiet shots. To my surprise, the
with one hand until you get a good grip on
result was only a small and irregular hole
the wall with the other hand. Okay? Then let
with an extra notch where one bullet had ac-
go and work your way to the right to give
cidentally gone slightly astray. Still, Hightow-
your kid room. When she’s down, both of
er’s soft grunt sounded like satisfaction.

you move further to the right and wait for

“Go further back and to the left, ladies.

me. Got all that? Good. Hurry now, I think I

Even more. Okay, you’re good.”

just heard someone sliding out whatever was

After f lipping the safety he turned the gun
barring the double door.”

sideways and eased its barrel through the

“Should we still do this?” I asked.

hole. I could tell that the front sight wouldn’t

“They won’t be here quick, unless they’re
have cleared without that notch; so much for
too stupid to worry about an ambush. So
it being there by accident. He twisted the
yeah, get going. But be super quiet, they
gun upright, pulled it back far enough for its
might have EARs.”

sight to catch on unbroken glass, f lashed us

“Why wouldn’t they?”

a smirk possibly meant as reassurance, then

“EARs, dammit. Enhanced Audio Recep-
simply tugged. The entire window broke into
tors. Go.”

countless tiny blocks, mostly cascading in-

If I had to list my all-time favorite experi-
wards.

ences, this one wouldn’t have made the top

Hightower shook off hundreds of these
million. The knots weren’t easy to hang on
tiny tiles like a dog shaking off water. He re-
to; too small and slippery, and I managed to
versed the gun, and began hammering on the
cut a f inger on some exposed zipper teeth
right bottom side of the left-hand window,
before I shifted my grip, doubtless adding
this time continuing until the newly crazed
more blood to the mix. The mild wind felt
section fell out, leaving a respectable hole
anything but mild, eager to pull me off. So
while keeping most of the window intact
did all the empty space beneath me. And I
thanks to the special if cheapo glass. I
had a really bad moment before my feet
watched him tie, so very carefully, his impro-
could f ind that bottom knot. Luckily, the
vised rope around the freshly exposed sec-
modest ledge a few inches beneath the bro-
tion of the central vertical support. After
ken window gave me support for one shoe
grabbing the rope with both hands, he
while the other went knot-hunting.

tucked his legs up so that the rope supported

I held on somehow, and Hightower let the
his entire body weight. Everything held so I
rope down steadily, supporting my hundred
didn’t resume back-seat knot-making.

and thirty pounds without any obvious trou-

He emitted another pleased grunt then
ble despite his cracked ribs. He’d done a
dangled the loose end of the rope from the
great job in estimating the distance as well. I
window, sticking his head outside, probably
only had to step down a few inches to reach
to judge the needed length more than to en-
the destination ledge, but letting go of that
joy LA’s fresh air. After a third grunt, he
damn nylon was the second hardest thing
pulled the rope back inside.

I’ve ever done—only because giving birth is

“You f irst,” he said quietly, pointing to me,
an untouchable league of its own. At least
which I had to admit made sense since hav-
the uneven façade, which I’d never appreci-
ing me waiting below should make my
ated until now, did provide little outcrops to

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grip. I hung on like a particularly motivated
were dimmed but brightness streamed under
limpet and watched the rope ascend, and
a door ahead, and the window behind us
then with inf inite care, shuff led a few feet to
shed almost enough illumination to read by,
the right. After a long moment, Hightower
now that my eyes were dark-adapted. Won-
lowered Glory. She was in such an obvious
dering when my knees would stop wobbling,
panic that I felt ashamed of my own fear.

I studied the terrain. Our hero must’ve near-

“You can do this,” I crooned to her, releas-
ly stubbed his body on a large desk when
ing an outcrop with one hand to grab my
he’d come crashing through the window. De-
daughter’s arm and pull her closer to the
spite the racket he’d made, I didn’t hear any-
wall. It took some nearly silent but desperate
one coming to investigate. I tried not to
coaxing, but she f inally managed to join me
imagine assassins peering downward from
on the ledge. I kept a reassuring hand on her
the broken window above.

back, trying to make her feel more secure al-

“You hurt?” I whispered to him.

though it left me less so. I hoped she

“I’ve felt better. Got those blueprints?”

wouldn’t ask the classic question: who is

“I can call them up quick enough.”

holding you up? She released the rope as if

“Do it. Try to spot the closest stairwell go-
losing her best friend, which I fully under-
ing all the way to the basement parking lot.”

stood, and stared only at the wall as we both

“Why? Shouldn’t we hide somewhere and,
waddled sideways at something damn close
and wait for your team to show up, or sur-
to zero miles per hour. I wondered if like me,
round ourselves with cops?” I made myself
she tried to pretend there was no such direc-
stop sputtering. “Or at least tell them what’s tion as down.

been happening?”

From one corner of my eye, I watched the

“Talk quieter. No. I’ll explain later.”

rope rise. I worried about the coming assas-

“You’d better know what the hell you’re—
sins. Be interesting if they shot our protector
sorry, you’ve done f ine so far.” Actually, he’d
while we were out here. I worried a lot. Sud-
been spectacularly competent, but I’m not a
denly, Hightower jumped horizontally from
big enough person to admit that to someone
the window above, and I mean jumped. He
who’d believe I was a murderer.

got as far outwards as the rope would allow,

As I worked my link, my lower lip hurt un-
coming within kissing distance of a ninety
til it dawned on me that I could stop chew-
degree angle from the wall, then he twisted
ing on it. “Okay, we turn left right outside
his body around as he and the rope swung
this room, move down a short hallway, then
downwards. He raised his legs just in time to
take the f irst door at the end. No other stairs
smash against the window he planned to
near here go all the way down.”

turn into an entrance.

“Good. You two stay behind me and out of

I felt the shock through the wall and got a
sight until I say we’re clear. Got it?”

second shock when I realized the window

Glory and I scuttled sideways to keep hid-
had crazed but hadn’t broken. Swearing soft-
den as he lurched ahead without waiting for
ly but sincerely, Hightower pushed hard off
a reply. This off ice must’ve been super
the glass and hit the window again. This
soundproofed, because when he cracked the
time, he burst into the building but was gone
door open, the vague rumbling and pound-
only for an instant. His head and arm popped
ing clarif ied into the un-music of power tools
out of the ex-window and he silently held out
running off of a portable compressor and
a hand for Glory to grab.

there was nothing vague about the hammer-

A minute later, to my utter relief, we were
ing.

all inside. Different layout on this f loor.

“Your blueprints are out of date.” High-

Rather than being in a hallway we stood in an
tower announced in a normal voice. “No hall-
expansive off ice, no one here but us dare-
way, but we can move out now.”

devils. Hightower had both arms wrapped

I assumed, despite the racket, he meant
around his chest, but didn’t complain. I
that nobody else lurked in the immediate
heard a soft inconsistent rumbling and faint
vicinity. So as we all left the room and
bouts of hammering. Despite the cool air
stepped into a large and messy area that was
now f looding in, it was too warm. The lights
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me a shock to see more than a dozen people
his directions without arguing. Instead, I who could see us. Most of these were conspent my breath on questions beginning with
struction workers; two were cops.

the most urgent ones.

We weren’t a pretty sight, but only the

“What about my husband and daughter?

cops noticed. They started hurrying toward

My other daughter.”

us but Hightower waved them off and they

“Both safe. Already at headquarters with
shrugged and stopped. The blueprints hadn’t
people I trust.”

lied about everything. We found the stairwell

“That’s good to know. So why didn’t we
door where it was supposed to be and start-
wait for your agents? Why not alert the
ed down.

cops?”

We passed two more cops who were going

“Turn left just ahead, we won’t be taking
up. They gave us a pair of horrif ied stares.

the freeway. Police are getting warned, care-Hightower gave them no more than a polite
fully and through LAPD channels. Trouble is,
nod. I couldn’t imagine why he wasn’t enlist-
we can’t be sure if every cop is legit; we got
ing their aid or warning them of danger, and
uniforms here from different bureaus and
it frightened me. Instead, he sped up until
they don’t all know each other. Think about
we were almost running down the steps. We
it. If your, uh, abductors got to the hospital
wound up in a broad descending hallway
before me and Forbes, someone in my
with two doors, one to an elevator and the
agency could be compromised and we’re
other conveniently labeled “Level A Parking.”

safer going to headquarters on our own. And

Hightower rushed us into the multi-level
if they didn’t get here early, how did they get
garage, which had its own elevators and stair-
past so many cops?”

wells, and where, if I may paraphrase my

I shook my head but kept my eyes on the
grandfather’s favorite baseball player, no one
road. The windshield heads-up display f lick-
ever parked because it was always full.

ered, then went out entirely. At least it

“Oh, shit,” Hightower hissed. “I forgot.

couldn’t criticize my driving. “You saw what

Forbes had the key.”

they were wearing. Looks like they came dis-

“Key to what?” I asked.

guised as hospital workers of some kind, but

“The car.”

I see your point.”

“Seriously? With all your tech, your car

“No matter what,” he said quietly, “they
needs an old-timey key?”

showed up damn fast. Keep going straight

“Yeah. Company vehicle. No way to guess
but get into the left lane. Now it’s handy your
who might need to use it or when; too many

GPS is down. Otherwise hostiles could trace
agents to imprint. We’ll take yours. Where
us.”

you parked? Your car’s still off grid.”

“What I wonder is how you arrived so

Interesting, I thought. Someone from his
soon.” The car’s interior wasn’t smelling any
agency must be updating him through his
too fresh, and not just from stale fear-sweat.

built-in radio. “South lot, f irst space in the

It made me queasy to realize that the blood
last row.”

on us had begun to rot. I cracked a window.

He threw a scowl my way, apparently dis-

“Was the NSS keeping tabs on my mother for
pleased with my taste in lot selection. “We’re
some reason? Or do you have a secret off ice
not going back into the building, so follow
at the hospital in case terrorists come in with
me.”

a stubbed toe?”

He led us to my parking spot as if he de-

The way he shifted in his seat told me I’d
spised straight lines, obviously trying to min-
scratched a nerve. “You got any idea how
imize our exposure to hostile eyes. I had
many bogus tips we get every day? And we’re
another bad moment when the Spark was
obligated to check out every damn one. Any-
slow to respond to my bio-signature; some-
way, we got a—a semi-anonymous note nam-
thing def initely wrong there. But the doors
ing you, saying you were about to shut off
grudgingly unlocked. I got behind the wheel
part of the traff ic safety grid to cover up the
and Hightower grabbed shotgun. Even if he’d
murder—”

been registered in the car’s biometrics, I

“Total BS. Who the hell would send some-
wouldn’t have let him drive, but I followed
thing like that? And what the hell is a semi-

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anonymous note?”

Having set Hightower straight on one fact

From a corner of my vision, I saw him
of life, I had to deal with his other idiocy.

shrug. “It had a signature, sort of. Couple

“Also the Oracle isn’t a ‘hacker’ in the sense
words in Spanish, some in German.”

you mean, although he might call himself

“Huh. Odd combo. Translation?”

one. In his day, it used to mean someone

“Something like, ‘the chicken that must
who enjoyed . . . f iddling around with com-
make a decision.’ I don’t know German so—
puters and knew plenty about them. Now it’s
hey, stay in the left lane.”

turned ugly, synonymous with ‘cracker,’ the

I felt a rush of energy. For the f irst time
word for assholes who build key-loggers or
this evening, I had a goal of my own.

go phishing or screw up other people’s net-

“I know who sent that note, although God
works. You know. The reason we all have to
knows why he did it, and we’re going to see
run resource hogs like real-time virus protec-
him right now. Got to turn around, we’re
tion.”

headed the wrong way. Unless you’re not in-

“Okay, okay. I stand corrected.”

terested in getting to the bottom of all this?”

He was sitting but I f igured he’d been
tweaked enough for now. Besides, I heard

Here is one persistent myth: only young
clicking from the backseat.

nerds can be computer experts. This meme

“Who are you texting, Glory?”

has been bur ned into the public mind

“Blaze, mom. Just checking.”

through a half-century of TV and movie repe-

“Good idea.” I didn’t trust our pet agent’s
tition. So I wasn’t surprised by Hightower’s
assurance of my family’s safety either. “Dad’ll
reaction when I told him about the man re-
be worried. But better not say where we’re
sponsible for the note, one Simon D. Krause,
going; we can’t be sure Blaze is the only one
a retired math professor in his late seventies
who’ll get your message.”

known in elite circles as the Auracle. I

“I told you,” Hightower complained, “your
spelled out “Auracle” but didn’t spill Simon’s
husband and daughter are with people I can
last name.

count on.”

Cue incredulous tone. “There are geezer

“But I can’t. You’ll f ind out where we’re
hackers out there?”

going when we get there.”

Cue two of my buttons getting pushed.

“How do you know this Auracle sent the

“Look, don’t confuse your barely pubescent,
message? And why would you trust someone
cola-guzzling, acned computer tech with
who’d rat on you? Especially if the message
someone like Simon. Hell, none of the peo-
lied, as you say.”

ple who invented computers or smart ways

I smiled a little. “I’ve known Simon most of
to instruct them were toddlers when they
my life and can count on him no matter how worked their wonders.” I made an effort to
things seem. He put in that weird signature
lower my voice. “Take John Bachus or Bjarne
for my benef it, so I’d know he’d sent it.”

Stroustup—you probably never heard of ei-

“Explain.”

ther even though they’ve shaped your world.

“He has this bad habit of playing Socrates.

They didn’t even begin their important work One time we were talking, and I told him
until they were thirty or so. Same goes for
about a programming issue that should’ve

John Atanasoff and Konrad Zuse, who only
been easy to work around but had been giv-
pioneered the entire f ield. Google ‘Grace
ing me headaches for weeks. So he asked me

Hopper’ some time.”

why the chicken crossed the road. I gave him

Yeah, young coders abound, but most only
the stock answer and a few others, like be-
string together preassembled digital beads,
cause it was too long to go around.”

and even today’s brightest young nerdlets

“I get it.”

aren’t immune to eventual wrinkles. As for

“Not yet you don’t. He said that all my an-
real experts, well, as the dawn of the com-
swers were reasonable, but what if he’d
puter age recedes, so too have the hairlines
added details to the question? A chicken
of your true computer wizards, the males I
comes to a road and sees stuff lying on it: a
mean. We females never change, we are eter-
spoon, a full ketchup bottle, a box of match-
nally young.

es, and a screwdriver. Why did this chicken

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cross the road?”

that sometimes seems to glow so brightly

“Okay. So what’s the answer?”

that I swear he could hire himself out as a

“You tell me. But ask yourself, does the
lantern. Just being near this man was a com-
added information make a difference? I’m
fort, and I’ve seen entire herds of nervous
making a pit stop at the next charging station
students about to take an important test relax
so we can all scrub some of the gore off.

the moment he entered their classroom. I

Can’t wait to see the attendant’s face after
glanced at Hightower and even his clenched
getting a good look at us.”

face had softened a little.

I parked my tongue until we were all seat-

I knocked on the door and it opened soon-
ed in Simon’s Danish armchairs, the kind of
er than I’d expected.

wood-and-leather furniture that Midcentury

The old man grinned like a rising sun, ig-

Modernistas would kill for and probably
noring our spattered clothes and the wet
have. We visitors sat on one side of the room
smudges where soap and paper towels had
with me in the middle; Simon faced us from
almost entirely failed to work any magic. “Al-
the other side.

ison! And Gloria too; what a splendid young

Hightower reached into an overcoat pock-
woman you’ve become! My, how time sails.

et, extracted my purse and handed it over,

She told me you’d both be here. Welcome,
earning my grateful smile for remembering it
and who is your friend?”

when I hadn’t. But I wasn’t so grateful that I

“Professor Simon Krause,” I said formally,
allowed him to squeeze more than a few
biting back my questions for the moment be-
words out before I rode right over him.

cause I knew that Simon wouldn’t answer

“Abuelo Simon.” An honorary title. “Who
them until all social rituals had been com-
told you we’d be coming?”

pleted, “this is NSS Special Agent Hightower.

He smiled again. “Clara. She dictated the

He saved us from getting kidnapped or worse
note that brought you here.”

half an hour ago. Sorry we’re such a mess.”

Hightower leaned forward, ready to take

“Just Simon, please,” the Auracle suggest-
charge. I didn’t let him.

ed, beaming approvingly and offering his

“You know where my mother is?”

hand.

“Ah, my dear. I can’t provide you a simple

Hightower hesitated for a second before
answer.”

shaking paws. “Your call, Simon.”

“How about yes or no?”

“Honored, Agent Hightower. Won’t you all

“In one sense, Clara should be joining us
come in? May I take your jacket, Agent?”

soon. In another . . . it would be best to let

“Thanks, but no.”

her explain.”

Glory muttered to me, “Probably stuffed

“Wait a second! She’s, um, up and about?

with grenades.”

Talking?” For most of this last month, she’d Simon closed the door behind us. “Don’t
been less responsive than mud.

concern yourselves with dirtying my furni-

Complexities chased each other across Si-
ture, it all cleans up easily.”

mon’s barely-wrinkled face. “I fear you are in

If the name Krause in association with an
for something of a shock. And perhaps like-
elderly math teacher suggests to you a lean
wise for you, Agent. Clara gave me a message
and white-haired Teutonic, you’d be right
intended for your ears specif ically.”

about the hair. Simon’s father may have f it

Hightower f inally had his chance to get a
the cliché, but Herr Gunter Krause moved to
full sentence out. “That’s not—what mes-

Mexico and took up polluting Aryan purity
sage?”

by marrying an Afro-Mexican schoolteacher

“She told me that by now, you’d have
and making three kids as a team effort. As a
arranged for a contingent of federal off icers
result, Simon is one handsome, racially am-
to arrive in my neighborhood. She requested
biguous dude with a Hispanic accent
you to ask them to observe without interfer-
stronger than my husband’s. He’s also bril-
ing.”

liant and my mother’s closest living friend.

More a bombshell than a memo. This day

Still, the most extraordinary thing about
just kept getting weirder. For a moment, I
him, at least to me, is this gentle inner light
thought Hightower might freak out. Maybe

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he thought so too, but Simon radiates calm-

I could understand his confusion and he
ness the way a f ireplace radiates heat. I could
wasn’t alone. “Ma,” I said, reverting to an al-
almost see the agent clamp down his bewil-
most forgotten habit, “how—why do you
derment and make a decision.

look—so young?”

His face went blank and his lips formed

“Are you really my Gremma?” Glory asked
silent words. Then he nodded. “We’ll play
in a tone of innocent wonder that I hadn’t
along for now, sir. Maybe just in time because
heard from her since she passed her earliest

I hear something coming up your driveway.

teens.

What the—don’t tell me you got one of those

“Who else could I be, Gloria?”

hybrids they stopped making back in the

My brain tied itself into tighter knots. If my
twenties. Sure putts like a methane engine.”

mother was anywhere near the age she ap-

I strained my ears but heard nary a putt.

peared to be, she should have no idea who

Simon’s white eyebrows lifted. “My, you

Glor y was. If she was a full thirty year s
have superb ears, Agent! Or perhaps mine
younger, she might not be any too sure about
are f inally failing.” A gleam of humor bright-
me. I was eleven then and Dad had just come
ened his eyes as he glanced my way, but I
down with the condition that killed him four
couldn’t guess the cause.

years later.

We all heard a car door slam. My mother

Simon wasn’t about to let impossibilities
had been hell on doors of all kinds before
make him neglect propriety. He stood, re-
she’d had her f irst stroke; she didn’t believe
lieved my mother of a canvas shopping sack
they’d stay shut otherwise. But there was no
she gripped by its straps after a soft “allow
way, I told myself, she could operate a car.

me, dear” and departed for the kitchen. I’m

All road vehicles, ancient or otherwise, were
not sure why, but no one spoke in his ab-
legally required to have at least the basic cur-
sence and tension kept building. I heard the
rent safety systems pre-installed or retrof it-
fridge door open, close, then a scraping
ted. Even if Gremma had miraculously
sound. Our host reappeared car r ying a
regained the physical and mental capacity to
kitchen stool, less cushy than his former seat
drive, her license had been revoked, and de-
that he offered to Gremma with a f lourish.

spite any biometric permission Simon had

She handed him a few bills that I guessed
given her, the engine wouldn’t run. . . .

were change from her shopping spree before

Simon shifted his attention between Glory
accepting his offer. Simon parked himself on
and me. “That,” he said happily, “will be
the stool and broke the awkward silence.

Clara now.”

“Agent Hightower, permit me to introduce

Someone opened the front door and
a fellow professor, Clara A. Weingart.”

slammed that one too. I heard a light and fa-

That cleared up nothing. Hightower
miliar tread in the hall. Despite Simon’s warn-
turned toward me. “This woman isn’t really
ing, I felt the symptoms of real shock—blood
your mother, right?”

rushing from my head, heartbeat going nuts,

Gremma’s loud and infectious laugh, the
dizziness and the rest—as Gremma joined us
one she’d gradually lost during this last year,
in the living room. Only this wasn’t the
rattled the windows and my heart accepted

Gremma I’d last seen in the hospital, not by
what my mind still struggled with.

twenty, maybe even thirty years. She wore a

She eased down to a chuckle. “This is
long white blouse discarded two decades ago
more fun than I’d remembered!” She held up
after an unfortunate incident involving coffee
a restraining palm. “But I’m getting ahead of
and a cracked mug. The blouse looked brand
myself—something I’ve become quite adept
new.

at recently. Don’t any of you get all f lustered

For a few seconds, I discovered that the
and red above the neck; I shall explain.”

term “speechless” wasn’t necessarily an ex-

“Great.” I meant it.

aggeration. So this time I didn’t get in the

“What was in the bag, Gremma?” Glory
f irst volley.

asked, surprising me because that question

“Ma’am, I’m NSS Special Agent Ronald
lay below the bottom of my list.

Hightower. Who are you?” He shot a dark

“That’s for later.” She gave Simon a sort of
look at Simon for misleading him.

half wink.

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He nodded. “We could use my large sartén
one safe at headquarters? We got thirty to heat—”

agents outside this house right now alert for

My mother squelched the rest of his com-
hostiles. That’s a lot of resources committed.

ment by interrupting. “Let’s not concern our-

My supervisor has let me run with it so far,
selves with that yet.” She turned and gazed at
but for sure I’d better be ready to justify my

Glory, then me, so tenderly that my own
decisions. So I can’t afford to be kept in the
years seemed to fall away. I couldn’t tell if
dark. What’s this HT?”

she even noticed our gory clothes.

“Harmonic Theory,” Gremma said, a faint

“But Ma, how could you drive Simon’s
smile forming. “In brief, my idea that fermi-
car?”

ons and bosons of all f lavors result from the

“Carefully.” She laughed.

interaction of primal, non-particle-mediated

“That doesn’t—please, start from the be-
forces rather than possessing independent,
ginning.”

inherent existence. Quite Tibetan Buddhist,

She nodded and pushed her dark hair be-
according to Simon. In HT, nothing plus
hind her ears, a gesture so familiar it gave me
nothing can equal something. No strings at-
goose bumps. “Let’s get a few things estab-
tached. Of course HT gives rise to subse-
lished f irst. Do you recall my personality . . .

quent questions concerning the identity and
changing abruptly while you were growing
origin of primal forces. Does this help,
up?”

Agent?”

“Well, yeah. But what does that have to do

“Uh. Sure. I’m good.” Judging from the
with anything?”

fresh glaze over the man’s eyes, I doubted

“Bear with me.”

that.

Staring at her only made my eyes water. “I

Perhaps I made a noise. Gremma expand-
must’ve been six, maybe seven, when you
ed her smile and aimed it my way. “Don’t be
suddenly got a lot nicer.” In most of my earli-
impatient, dear. His question is pertinent.

est memories, my mother had been a little

Without the math behind HT, I couldn’t
stern and a lot distant; then one day she was
have—ah, but you asked me to begin from
a different person, warm, playful, and pre-
the beginning; not a straightforward path-
sent.

way, as you’ll learn, but I shall try.

“You were six and there’s a reason I

“Remember your f ifteenth birthday, Ali?

changed. One f inal issue before I Reveal All.

That was a hard day for me. I missed your fa-

She put a comic spin on those last two
ther terribly, but tried to shield you from my
words, but then grimaced. “Know what area
grief because you had too much of your
of research I focused on after your father
own.”

passed away?”

“Oh, I knew how you felt.”

I frowned, thinking back. “Area? I sure re-

“Of course you did. The day you turned f if-
member getting snatched out of school,”

teen, exactly three months after Jonas
which I resented, “and transplanted to
passed, Boston medical researchers discov-

Switzerland so you could play with the big
ered the mechanism by which a ketogenic
collider. At the time, you told me you were
diet slows the progression of ALS, and why
hoping to conf irm HT.”

IV glutathione and certain supplements sup-

“Initially, that was my entire focus.”

port this positive effect. That breakthrough

Retrieving memories from this period of
soon led to a cure. If your father had come
my life always brought heart-pangs. “Hard to
down with the disease a year later than he
believe that Dad wasn’t even sick when you
did, he could be with us right now.”

invented HT. He would’ve been so proud of

I nodded. “That bothers me every single
you when your f irst paper—”

day.”

“Excuse me, Professor Weingart,” High-

What little remained of her smile turned
tower broke in, “if that’s who you are. I’m
rueful. “The unfairness of it moved me to
miles out on a limb letting your family come
change the direction of my research and ex-
here, and I only allowed it because of getting
plore the nature of time.”

to know your daughter a little. Got any idea

Glory snapped her f ingers the way she
how much easier it would be to keep every-
does after solving a diff icult homework prob-

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lem. “You wanted to build a time machine to
amenable to experimentation.”

go back and save my grandfather!”

“What kind of experiments?” Hightower

Ten minutes ago, the notion would’ve
demanded with a touch of belligerence.

sounded silly. Now, the sight of my mother

“That was the problem and I didn’t solve it
sitting a few feet across from me sucked the
overnight. Years before I worked with the
silly away. Dad hadn’t lived long enough to

LHC—the Large Hadron Collider near Gene-
meet either granddaughter and if I had the
va, Agent—when it was still functioning on
chance. . . .

partial power, researchers sometimes record-

Gremma reached out to pat Glory’s hand.

ed anomalous data. Expected particles failed

“I expect your idea hid in the back of my
to appear, while unexpected ones seemed to
mind, child, but there are compelling rea-
show up. More puzzling, during that same
sons to consider it impossible. My conscious
period it seemed that under certain high-en-
intent was simply to better understand the
ergy conditions, neutrinos could travel faster
subject. But what, exactly, do we mean by
than light.”

‘time’?”

“Turned out to be user error, right?” I

Great, I thought while trying not to grind
pointed out, recalling my mother siding with
my teeth. She’s reverted to her academic

Einstein in arguments with colleagues about
mode.

those bizarre results.

“I considered three distinct perspectives.

Gremma bobbed her head in agreement.

First, Einstein’s concept of it as an extra di-

“Loose wiring on an atomic clock, among
mension, as valid a continuum as the familiar
other things. Typical, but embarrassing. Still,
three.”

just considering faster-than-light as a serious

Glory slumped back in her chair now that
possibility left a few scientists more . . . aware
her exciting idea had apparently f izzled.

of the topic. So when the LHC was at last ful-

She’d had a hard day. Besides, slumping was
ly powered and new data showed certain
a natural reaction to my mother’s lectures.

ephemeral particles far outliving their pre-

“Don’t fall asleep, Gloria, all this is impor-
dicted lifespan—well, there it was. Unable to
tant.”

account for this extended lifespan, two re-

“Just resting my eyes, Gremma.”

searchers at the LHC suspected that some-

“Second, the reasonable conceit that time
thing might be exceeding light speed,
is a mental artifact, an illusion created by
creating a subatomic time dilation effect.

memory and anticipation.”

They kept the idea mostly to themselves but

“This is my personal belief,” Simon of-
did consult with several physicists including
fered. “The eternal present is shaped by past
me, asking for alternative explanations.”

changes and holds the potential for changes

“I suppose yours involved HT?”

to come, but existence can only happen

Dimples. “Shouldn’t I subscribe to my own
now.”

theory, Ali? Assuming the results weren’t ran-

Gremma gave him a fond smile. “For a
dom errata, I saw two possible HT-consistent
mathematician, you are quite the mystic,
hypotheses that wouldn’t disturb Einstein’s

Herr Señor Professor.”

conclusions. According to HT, the ephemer-

“What’s your third choice, Ma?” I asked
al that f irst appeared wasn’t necessarily the
softly.

one that outlasted its welcome, but a series

“That time is, or is generated by, a force, of others demanded by the forces released.

perhaps one of the primal forces I theo-

Then again, nothing in my theory precludes
rized.”

changes in the behavior of time.”

“So which perspective is right?”

I guess Glory hadn’t really fallen asleep be-

“Ah. We haven’t reached that twist in my
cause she blurted out, “So you did try to
story. In physics, dear ones, sometimes the
build a time machine!”

practical course is to follow Einstein’s lead

Gremma smiled. “Not in the usual sense,
when confronting ambiguities such as the na-
dear. In the winter of 2016, shortly after your
ture of light: settle on one possibility and see
grandfather died, CERN granted a request I’d
where its implications lead. In my case, only
made in 2011 to work with the LHC on site.

the force interpretation of time seemed

In April, your mother and I moved to Europe.

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After I’d gotten interested in . . . temporal re-
math, Marty Cohn to f ill in engineering de-
search, it took me months to devise an ex-
tails, and the loan of a large parabolic mirror
perimental approach. Quite the problem:

we hoped would focus whatever forces we
f inding a way to manipulate a possibly
managed to . . . invoke, we put together what
nonexistent force that was currently measur-

Marty named a ‘Tau gun.’ Before we tested it,
able only indirectly through particle dura-

Marty made the long trip from Pasadena and
tion.”

joined us in person. You do remember him,

“Doesn’t sound possible,” I admitted.

Ali? And Gupta?”

“I agree. But HT came to my rescue. A cen-

“Both, kind of.”

tral concept underpinning HT is that primal

She gazed at me with exasperated affec-
forces at my proposed sub-quantum level in-
tion. “You were always more attuned to com-
teract. If the incredible energies released in
puters than people.”

the collider had any real temporal impact, I

That offended me a little because she
might f ind some unpredictable f luctuations
wasn’t the only one whose personality had
in the predictable electromagnetic effects.”

changed. “I remember setting up a dedicated

Gremma read my expression perfectly.

FTP server so you could all exchange big files

“Yes, Ali, quite the long shot, but one
from whatever countries you happened to be
worth shooting. I called on a colleague you
in.”

may remember, Gupta Shankar, who’d built a

Now her expression blossomed with
wonderfully sensitive full-spectrum EM ana-
pr ide. “Even then, you were the best
lyzer for his own work, and Gupta agreed to
around.”

join us in Switzerland, machine in hand, or

Around Geneva, maybe. “So you built this,
rather in several crates. Two months later,
um, un-time machine. What was it supposed
we’d identif ied a slight anomalous . . . wob-
to do and what happened?”

ble at a specif ic very low frequency during

Gremma glanced at her watch, which I
several LHC experiments.”

recognized as the old Bulova Accutron cur-

I shook my head. “That’s very cool, but
rently living in my nightstand’s drawer,
how could that help you get any kind of han-
adding to my mental boggle. “We hoped the
dle on this hypothetical temporal force?”

Tau gun would produce some measurable ef-

“It required an even longer shot.” Her eyes
fect on temporal f low, but good scientists try
f licked from face to face before returning to
to avoid suppositions. If memory serves, be-
mine. “Our only hope involved using the tail
fore answering your other question, I went
to wag the canine. Gupta and I constructed a
off to the bathroom for a few minutes. Hold
powerful electromagnetic oscillator set to
that thought, dear.”

duplicate that precise pattern of wobble at

I stared at her retreating back until she’d
that exact frequency, but hugely amplif ied, if
gone down the main hallway and turned a

I may slightly misuse that term. Now do you
corner. Then a big hand settled on my fore-
see, Ali?”

arm.

“No. Maybe. Do you mean like that speak-

“What the hell,” Hightower said, looking
er-and-microphone trick you once showed
as confused as I felt, “is going on here?”

me?”

“Don’t look at me. A little help, Simon?”

“Very much so.”

The professor waggled a f inger at us. “Pa-

“What’s the trick, Mom?” Glory asked.

tience. Soon, you will know enough.”

“Sing into a speaker and a tinny version of

I doubted that very much.

your voice comes out the mike.” I felt my lips

Glory turned in her chair, f lopping a leg
twitch into a half-smile. “Assuming your PA is
over a carved walnut armrest. No respecter
set on ‘deafen.’ But that only works because
of classic furniture, her. “Mom, I don’t get
both things have diaphragms and are electro-
that Harmonic Theory. Can you explain it
magnetically connected.”

better?”

Gremma shrugged. “We were feeling our

I caught a hint of gratitude in Hightower’s
way in the dark but found no other means to
eyes before I gave it a shot. “You’ll need more
proceed. CERN had kindly made a lab avail-
science and math before we can really get
able to us. With Simon’s help to polish the
into this.”

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“Easy math,” said Simon. “Differential
binations can attach to other combinations,
geometry, a little abstract algebra, a few sim-
and the more complex the arrangements get,
ple—”

the more stable they become.”

I silenced him with a look. “For now, way

“But Mom, if the behaviors keep getting re-
back when Gremma f irst decided to solve
placed, how can anything hold together?”

the mysteries of the universe, she f igured

I gave Simon an apologetic grin because I
that the main problem in physics is physi-
was about to co-opt one of his pet analogies.

cists, that most of them are caught in a mind-

“Think of a r iver with whirlpools. The
trap because they’re so used to things being
whirlpools stay put although the water keeps
made of smaller things. So they instinctively
changing.”

believe that reality, at its most basic level,

“Oh, that makes sense.”

must be made up of and regulated by almost

Hightower groaned a little. “When I woke
inf initely small elementary particles. For
up this morning, the world made sense.

Gremma, it made more sense that pure

You’re sure that woman is really your moth-forces of some sort create everything.”

er?”

Glory raised a hand classroom style. “We

I heard a toilet f lush. Gremma couldn’t
learned about the four fundamental forces in
have heard that last remark but when she re-
science class this year. The weak force, the
joined us, she remarked, “It isn’t the world’s
strong—”

job to make sense to us, Agent. Discovering

“Sure, but Gremma proposed that even
sense is our task.”

these four are generated by primal forces at

“Ma, how could you possibly know what
an even deeper level.” I omitted my mother’s

Hightower said while you were in the bath-
scale calculation, smaller by a factor of ten
room?”

than what saner physicists consider possible,

“Tell me, Ali, are you more interested in
because who could get a feel for it? Once you
that or what happened near Geneva?”

stack the f irst ten zeros after your decimal

“I—I don’t—”

place, you might as well throw in another

She laughed her big laugh. “I’m teasing
twenty-six. “And her notion of a theory of you, dear. Answering your question about
everything had to include inertia and what-
the time experiments will clarify ever y-
ever makes waves wave.”

thing.”

“What’s so funny, Mom?”

“I hope so.” I’m good at puzzle solving but

An old memory had surfaced. “I wish we
couldn’t even f ind an edge piece on this one.

had a recording of her rant about gluons. She

“Proof forthcoming! After we’d set up and
did a great standup routine on the concept of
calibrated the basic equipment including
them f litting back and forth like humming-

Gupta’s EM detector, we radio-synchronized
birds to operate the strong force.”

f ive cesium-standard clocks with millisecond

“So she doesn’t believe that elementary
resolution, which exceeded our require-
particles exist?”

ments if our system performed as calculated.

“Oh she thinks they exist, but her theory is

We placed two of these chronographs on our
that they aren’t tiny specks of matter or
test bed, one three feet away, and then took
waves or f lickers of energy, but a sort of,
the remaining two with us to our control
well, behavior that happens when primal
room. From there, we powered up Gupta’s
forces interact in specif ic ways.”

wave generator and watched the results

Glor y chewed on it for a moment. “So
through webcams.”

where do atoms come from?”

“And?” Too many details for my taste, but I

“Supposedly, certain primal interactions
knew my mom. If I asked for fewer, the
create long-lasting behavioral patterns al-
famed Weingart brain would buckle down to
though the individual behaviors keep getting
chaff and wheat separation, and keep ex-
replaced. ” That statement, I realized,
tracting more wheat.

wouldn’t earn me a Pulitzer in the Year’s

“We saw nothing more than the lab’s lights

Clearest Explanation category, but I plowed
f lickering a little, which I wrote off to excess
on. “These patterns can interact with each
load on that room’s wiring because the lights
other or combine. According to HT, the com-
in our monitoring room had remained steady.

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When we shut off the generator, we found all

Gremma continued. “I began to wonder if
atomic clocks perfectly synchronized. Marty
we’d accidentally released some unknown,
slapped a recording voltmeter into one of the
long-lasting form of energy.”

lab’s electrical sockets, and we tried again.

“Something,” I asked dubiously, “that only

More flickering, no fluctuations in room volt-
affects LEDs?”

age. The building’s power regulator, de-

“We didn’t know enough to say ‘only.’ Mar-
signed for scientif ic exper iments, was
ty and Gupta agreed to remain a few days
functioning perfectly.

longer. We brought in a variety of light emit-

“We ran test runs for two weeks, varying
ters and electrical devices and ran more ex-
the pattern’s amplitude by minute amounts,
per iments. Of cour se, we already had
and varying the mirror’s placement; nothing

Gupta’s detector shielded as much as possi-
we tried produced any measurable temporal
ble without hampering its function. We dis-
effect. We even—”

covered that f luorescent tubes with

“Ma.” I’d had enough. “How does this sto-
semiconductor ballasts were even more sen-
ry end?”

sitive to whatever caused the f lickering than

That got her laughing so hard she had to

LEDs, but couldn’t determine why other
brush tears from her eyes. “Give me another
semiconductor-dependent equipment wasn’t
minute, dear,” she said between chuckles,
noticeably affected.”

“and you’ll see why that question is so won-

“Timing variations?”

derfully inappropriate.”

She nodded thoughtfully. “We think alike,”

“Can’t wait to get in on the joke. Please go
her expression suddenly turned sheepish
on.”

with no apparent cause, “for more than one

“My pleasure.” She sure looked pleased.

reason. But we’ll reach the, ah, punch line

“After a month, Gupta and Marty felt we
quicker if you don’t interrupt.”

should terminate the project. I wanted to re-

I waved a hand as agreement.

solve a mystery f irst.”

“We’d learned a remarkably expensive way

I glanced at Glory, a glutton for Ruth Ren-
to spoil good lighting, but little more. Then
dell novels. Sure enough, that last bit recap-

Marty thought it might be worthwhile to test
tured her attention. “What myster y,
the effect of our generator on living things.

Gremma?”

We began with plants and insects, and when

“On our fourth test run, the lab’s overhead
neither showed damage or response, we

LED tubes went out completely for a few sec-
tried mice. Again, no results. I suggested we
onds, and this time, the ones in our observa-
experiment one f inal time with ducks.”

tion room f lickered. Marty’s voltmeter hadn’t

“Why ducks?” Gloria wondered on both
recorded the smallest f luctuation. From then
her and my behalf.

on, the lights in the entire building f lickered

“Multiple reasons. I felt that mice might
randomly or shut off, sometimes when we
have an insuff iciently broad range of sensitiv-
hadn’t run any experiments for hours, and
ity for use as detectors and that ducks would
the voltmeter never showed any change.”

be superior because they’re adapted to such

“Did your friend’s super detector pick up
a wide variety of environments. Also no f ly-
anything?” Glory asked.

ing animal could survive for long without

“Excellent question! Yes, indeed. Aside
keen and rapid perceptions. On the practical
from normal background readings and those
side, I knew where I could borrow a few ac-
from our generator, something peculiar
customed to being tied in place; any metal
showed up: occasional strong EM peaks
cage could invalidate our results. Look up the
striped by momentary EM . . . suppressions,
name ‘Michael Faraday’ sometime.” She
mostly in the ultraviolet frequencies just be-
turned toward me, an all-too-familiar gleam
low soft x-ray range. None of us had encoun-
in her eyes.

tered anything like this, and we couldn’t

I braced myself for some crime against hu-
explain it, but if it was causing the f lickering,
manity involving the phrase “duct tape,” but
why was the disruption limited to light f ix-

I’d drastically underestimated her capacity for
tures?”

evil.

Now I’d gotten hooked.

“I would’ve preferred testing several at a

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time,” she said mildly, “but our test-bed
stant my head was in position, I was in a, a
wasn’t large enough to accommodate even
place that wasn’t a place. It lacked ameni-
two without crowding, which would’ve in-
ties.” She tried to smile, but it came out
evitably made them f ight. And Ali, you know
crooked. “No air or sound or smell, no light
it’s never wise to get your ducks in a row.”

or darkness, no people aside from me, no ob-

For once, Simon’s laugh nearly drowned
jects of any kind. No size. All my usual senses out Gremma’s. Glory and Hightower just
were gone, but something I’d never con-
looked bemused, and I feigned patience. “So
sciously experienced before took their place;
what happened with the birds?” I asked
a kind of . . . direct cognition. I was totally
when the noise had settled.

aware of my environment.”

Ma was down to mini-guffaws. “We only

“How could you be aware of an environ-
tried once, with no result, but then the
ment with nothing in it but you?”

ducks’ owner had a change of heart and

She hesitated again and searched my eyes.

called to insist her birds be returned immedi-

“I wouldn’t say nothing.”

ately. No harm, no fowl.”

Glor y asked the question, “What was

To my utter humiliation, I burst into sobs
there, Gremma?”

and waterworks, instantly killing all laughter.

“Potential. Boundless. I can’t begin to de-

This was the mother I’d been missing so
scribe it. But what staggered me most was
much. Hands reached out for me, but I
the familiarity. My whole life, I’d felt it with-brushed them away. “No,” I said, using a
out knowing that I felt it, living in, well, the
sleeve to wipe my wet face, “I’m being stu-
back of my heart. We all feel it right now.”

pid. Finish your story, Ma.”

Her hands made gestures that would’ve made

She regarded me worriedly for a moment
sense if they were molding clay. I’d never
longer. “After that failure, we all agreed to
seen her struggle to express herself. “Like a
postpone further experiments. We didn’t
sound you can’t hear because it’s always
permanently abandon this line of research
been there and doesn’t change. I’d just never
because the f licker ing remained unex-
been able to distinguish it from everything
plained, but each of us had other projects
else, but once the universe was snatched
waiting our attention.

away . . .”

“The night before we intended to disman-

“You mean God, Gremma? Did you meet
tle the equipment, I decided to try a f inal ex-

God?”

periment. On myself.”

My mother mimed slapping her own fore-

I gawked at her and from the corner of my
head. “I’d actually forgotten you’d asked me
eye, saw both Glory and Hightower sit taller.

that, Gloria.”

Simon’s homey living room suddenly felt . . .

“But I didn’t, not until now.”

less friendly, as if a cold f inger was playing

“Sorry, got ahead of myself again. To an-
with the back of my neck.

swer you, certainly not the God my church

“Didn’t bother making this a proper exper-
would certify. No throne, no judgments, no
iment. I just used compromise settings on
long white beard, no gender or personality.

the variables we could control, turned on

Not a controlling force. It isn’t even a thing.

our generator, and moved the test-bed aside

My, I’m starting to sound just like you, Si-
so that I could sit with my head at the mir-
mon.”

ror’s focus.” She paused. “Something hap-

The professor’s inner light seemed to blaze
pened. Not anything I could’ve imagined.”

brighter. His eyes were positively luminous.

“What happened?” Glory whispered.

“No thing,” he chanted softly. “Our source,

“I went somewhere,” Gremma said so
unnamable and without attributes. That fun-
slowly that each word seemed to hang in the
damental essence providing room for all that
air.

exists including empty space. From it, all

“Into the future?” My shrewdest guess. “Or
things arise.”

the past?”

Gremma gave him an affectionately exas-

“Neither, although I didn’t know it at f irst.

perated look. “I’ve always avoided studies

And only my consciousness moved.” She
that exclude quantization, Simon, including
took a deep breath. “No transition. The in-
your treasured Eastern philosophies. So I’m

142

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not qualif ied to argue with you. But it
realm gave me a choice. With the immeasur-
seemed to me that your ‘no thing’ does have
able power available, I wasn’t obligated to
an attribute: power.”

immediately return to my life at the moment

She paused, continuing when his only re-

I’d left it. In fact, by following the ramif ica-
sponse was to boost his smile’s wattage.

tions of my lifeline, it would be possible to—

“I could feel my connection with the raw

” She stopped. I’d never seen my mother
potential around me because it was also in-
blush before.

side me, which told me exactly how to tap

“Possible to what, Ma?”

into it. And since I was, in a practical sense,

“To, ah, merge with the life of my closest
alone, it was all at my disposal. I considered
ancestors or descendants.”

using it to return to the lab. Then I made my

I stared at her, partly baff led and partly
big mistake.”

alarmed.

I didn’t care for the sound of that. “What

She hurried on. “Not for long. I would re-
mistake?”

main tethered to my natural place, and while

She bowed her head slightly and lowered
this attachment could be stretched, it would
her eyes. “One that’s caused you so much
soon snap me back into position.”

trouble today.” She lifted her eyes to mine.

“What,” I asked slowly, “do you mean

“Such a logical progression, Ali, easy as

‘merge’?”

falling down a f light of stairs. Thinking of the

“Oh, Ali. I’m truly sorry. Please understand
lab reminded me of our experiments. And
that perceiving the total shape of anyone’s
the instant I thought about time, zap, time experience doesn’t entail recognizing specif-appeared out of nowhere, or perhaps I was
ic experiences, and I didn’t realize how little
suddenly able to perceive it.”

I understood about—never mind. I just want-

That made no sense to me. “Hang on, Ma.

ed to make sure your life was good.”

You perceived an abstraction?”

She fell silent and I sensed she needed

“Not an abstraction, dear. It was quite tan-
prodding. “What did you do?”

gible with, ah, a texture that told me what it

“I entered your existence. For a while, I
was. I visualized it as an elastic membrane,
became you.”

thin but invulnerable and terribly vast, con-

“When the hell was this?”

taining countless . . . threads that in cross-sec-

“It will happen during the Christmas sea-
tion would look like pebbles or trees or
son two years from now. You won’t be aware
people. My natural position within its struc-
of my presence.”

ture tugged at me like a vacuum.”

“What do you mean, exactly, that you be-

She paused to take a breath. “That’s when
came me?”

I realized I wasn’t in the past or future, but

“Just that. My consciousness blended with
outside of time entirely. And I understood
yours. For a short time, less than a day, I
that all three theories about time were cor-
shared your memories and felt everything
rect within different frameworks. Time was
you felt. I saw Carlos and Gloria and Blaze
at once a dimension, a mental construct, and
through your eyes, and your face in the mir-
a primal force. I could even give that force a
ror.”

name: Persistence.

I just looked at her, coldness trickling

“I sensed my personal thread, my lifeline,
down my back. What will I do that day?

and where it branched into your birth. And I

“Believe me, dear, I hadn’t intended my
made two strange discoveries. My life, unlike
presence to be so . . . intrusive, so intimate. I
any other around it, contained a knot, a loop,
am sorry. And then, dear God, the conse-
and I didn’t yet know why. Another unique
quences! The elastic—”

feature was a single gap where I’d left the

“Hold on, Ma. This is starting to make a
time stream, which told me that I’d never
twisted kind of sense. The way you’ve been
manage the feat again.”

acting, as if we’ve already had this meeting.”

“Couldn’t you just use the same settings?”

I searched her face. “This is going to sound

I asked.

nutty, but is it possible that you aren’t simply

“Evidently not, and in a minute I’ll share
talking, but repeating my, um, future memo-
my idea as to why. But being in the timeless
ry of—Christ!—what you said during this

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ANALOG

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conversation? Hell, I don’t even know which
of future trouble, or pick up additional tidbits
tense to use.”

from the future. But those next few trips

Her blush faded as she grinned. “Easy to
both ways still carried tremendous energy.”

grasp, isn’t it? I’m indeed trying to repeat

She was clearly leading up to something
everything I said, but can’t really follow a
but seemed to choke on it. After telling me
script because of what you’ll forget over the she’d shared my body, my memories and
next two years. The weirdest part is that after
thoughts, and possibly my sex life, what

I wind up saying anything whatsoever, I then
could remain to make her this uncomfort-
recall listening to me saying that exact thing,
able?

word for word.”

A wild idea popped into my head, but it

Glor y made a low whistle. “Sounds
f it. “Ma, you supposedly died a few times be-
freaky.”

fore your, um, latest death. Did you acciden-

“Quite, but also rather magical, like per-
tally revive yourself those other times?”

forming a diff icult ballet I barely know and

Relief f looded her face. “I’m afraid so. All
yet every move comes out perfectly.”

that energy. More grief I brought you.”

Hightower shifted in his chair, but if he

“So you kept bouncing until you returned
had questions he’d have to wait in line.

to the Swiss lab?”

“Okay,” I said. “Now I understand how

“Not quite. From my viewpoint, I haven’t
you recognized your granddaughter. But you
yet returned to the lab. The oscillations sped
haven’t explained how the, you know, young
up as the energy dissipated until I was barely
you got here, or what happened to the old
aware of switching. Finally I was back in the
you.”

timeless realm with a big task ahead.” She

“I’m almost there. When we merged, al-
waited for me to catch up.

though will merge is closer to the mark, my

“Oh. Oh! You remembered my memory of
bond with my natural time began tugging at
what happened today.” Funny how mere
me. Hmm. Think of bungee jumping. Or are
concepts could make me dizzy.

people still that reckless? I shared your mind

“That’s it. In two years, you won’t have for-
for a while, Ali, but know only cer tain
gotten the electrical problems on the road
specif ics about the future.”

and around the hospital; and that I moved my

I closed my eyes brief ly to do a little orga-
f ifty-six-year-old body into my future to have
nizing in my head. “Right. To you, this is the
this chat.”

future even though you’ve gone even further.

“I’ll remember all right. But I’d love to hear

Yeah, bungee jumping hasn’t died out.”

how you managed to get here physically

“Imagine a strong elastic cord tethering me
without a time machine.”

to my proper here and now. I stretched it

“Whoa,” Hightower broke in. “Take me
tremendously to become one with you, and
though all this again, but slow. What hap-
the longer I stayed in your body, the more
pened when?”

tension developed. When it . . . snapped me

I got rolling before Gremma could pummel
back, I overshot my time by decades.”

us with details, and putting it together made

“Let me guess.” Pieces were f itting togeth-
it clearer for me. “Okay. She started in the lab
er that I hadn’t realized belonged to the same
sometime around 2017, got blasted to the
puzzle. “Your awareness or whatever went
nowhere place, threw herself into my head
back to when I was six.”

two years from now, bounced around a bit,

I’d earned a warm smile of approval. “Just
then returned to nowhere land and did the
long enough to remind myself what was
body switch. Good enough?”

most valuable in life. And the extra energy I

“I . . . guess.”

carried made the point compelling.”

“So back to the body trick, Ma?”

“That’s why you became so much more . . .”

She giggled, looking even younger. “A sim-

“Human? Yes indeed. But then our analo-
ple maneuver and I knew how to do it be-
gous cord had excess tension in the oppos-
cause —are you ready for this?—you’ll
ing direction. So I bounced back and forth in
remember me telling you. It relies on the, ah,
diminishing lengths, never remaining at any
temporal unity”—she threw Simon a quick
point long enough to warn my previous self
grin—”of an individual throughout their exis-

144

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tence. Once accomplished, it forms a loop

Precursors, I suspect, to EM phenomena vio-
that binds that lifeline, preventing any more
lent enough to erase whatever settings freed
loops from forming.”

me from time.” She sighed. “I’m sure to f ind

I nodded. “A one-shot deal, f ine. But
some practical reason or other why I will
what’s this maneuver? You’ve lost me, Ma.”

never escape again, and it will not surprise

“The only way, to my knowledge, to skip
me to f ind our test equipment in sad shape.”

ahead is through a body exchange. And

“Okay. Flickering solved, maybe. But why
where I was gave me the power to do just
were only the lights affected?”

that.”

Her lips grew sly corners. “The answer

I tried not to look horrif ied. “You mean
may be absurdly simple although I didn’t
while you’re here, your corpse is, or was, sit-
think of it until I was setting up my f inal ex-
ting in that lab? Sorry to put it so bluntly.”

periment. Can’t wait to see Marty’s face

“And I’ll be back before it’s found, al-
when I tell him!”

though it may leave me some tidying up to

“Well?”

do. I also know that I’ll eventually be dictat-

“Those lights use heavier gauge wire than
ing the note allowing Agent Hightower to
anything else in the lab and the variance in
rescue you at the right time, and what that
inductive capacity may well be responsible.

note should include. Of course, I’ll have to

Honestly, I should be ashamed of myself.

let Simon know when to send it. Hmm, I’d

Considering where we were and the factors
better do that before my strokes begin.”

that had brought us there, CERN’s faster-

“He y! Now that you know about the
than-light mishap should’ve made me think
strokes, can you do anything to prevent
of wires straightaway.”

them?”

“I could buy your wire idea, but what the

“I’m afraid not, but after my return, I
hell is an inverted surge?”

promise to begin a health regimen to remain

“Perhaps a damping effect, I don’t know.

as sharp as possible until the time we both

But on this end, extraordinary surges of the
know they started.”

ordinary kind knocked out the hospital’s

My face must’ve fallen because she got up
lighting and backup generator so I could
for a moment to hug me and kiss my cheek.

walk out unobserved; convenient for me but

“It’s all right, Ali. How many people know
horrible for you and Gloria and all those poor
they’re going to have a great life? And that
people who died.”

their family will be well and happy after

“You couldn’t have warned anyone?”

they’re gone?”

She shook her head sadly. “Inside the

I got myself under better control. “Thanks,
membrane of time, we can make choices and

Ma. That helps a little. Um, another thing I
exert some control over our lives. Free will,
can’t f igure out is why you borrowed Si-
to some extent. But seen from the outside,
mon’s car and how the hell you managed to
every life is already complete, the f low of
drive it without a license.”

events f ixed and permanent. I could only do

This time it was one of her full-to-bursting
what I did. Perhaps that’s for the best. If I’d
laughs. “I remembered that when you ar-
selected a different place in my lifeline for
rived here, I’d still be out shopping.”

the body exchange, the EM effects would’ve

My brain kept spinning faster. “Right,
occurred regardless, and the consequences
but—”

might have been even worse. Likewise, the

“Physics has no terms that apply, so to
spy group monitoring you ever since you put
adapt one nearest the mark, let’s regard time
your lost cat plea out on the National Emer-
as a form of surface. It seems the energy f lux
gency Broadcasting System might have—”

involved in my body exchange produced

“You know who they are?” Hightower de-
massive and multiple electromagnetic surges
manded.

in and around the hospital. I’d wager some-

“I don’t. You’ll never give Ali certain de-
thing similar happened where I came from,
tails, not in the next two years, but now that
although perhaps in an inverted form that in-
you’ve learned they exist, your agency will
teracted with our experiments. You may re-
identify and capture them later this week.

call the Mystery of the Flickering Lab Lights?

That much you will tell her.”

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“Good to hear.” Even federal agents, he

Glory snapped her f ingers. “I get it, Grem-
proved, can grin, although it wasn’t one that
ma. Simon shows up in that old clunker with
anyone in that spy ring would appreciate.

all its safety stuff kludged in, and a surge

“I have, in my humble opinion, even better
knocks out the—what’s that thing, Mom?”

news,” Gremma continued. “When the spies

“The biometric override.”

learn that Ali’s been cleared of my murder,

“Yeah, that. So anyone could drive that
they will assume she wasn’t responsible for
beast. If they don’t mind being honked at and
the electrical problems today and cease at-
passed by every other car on the road.”

tempts to kidnap her. You will only need to

Simon chucked and we all sat quietly for a
protect her and her family for another day.”

time. My mind was f illed with both wonder

“That’s really good to hear,” I said.

and sadness, and while I would’ve married a

She gazed at me, her eyes open and can-
hot shower and a change of clothes, I
did. “I wish I could offer you, I don’t know,
couldn’t bear for the evening to end.

stock tips from the future . . . anything to off-

Gloria finally broke the silence. “One thing
set, at least a little, the grief I’ve put you all
you still haven’t told us, Gremma. What did
through today.”

you bring here in that bag?”

“But you have, Ma.” The words poured out

My mother’s face lit up with delight that
as if they’d been waiting for months to be re-
matched her laugh. “We have a few more
leased. “You’ve given me a chance for us to
hours together before Agent Hightower must
say goodbye to each other. I didn’t think we’d
return me to that hospital room. I’ve already
get that and it means the world to me.”

arranged the f inal switch, but it wouldn’t do

“Well. When did my girl become so wise?

to litter Simon’s cozy home with a cadaver,

Thank you, dear. Never forget that I love
would it?”

you.”

She had a good chuckle at Simon’s

I felt another avalanche of tears threaten-
changed expression before continuing.

ing so I changed the topic fast. “Same here,

“Since I had to borrow his car to match your
but let’s get back to the business of Simon’s
mother’s future memories, I thought it sensi-
car. You still haven’t said why the engine
ble to make good use of it. So I picked up an
worked for you.”

assortment of goodies we can share. Luckily,

“Isn’t it obvious? You already know that

Simon had some funds on hand and super-
the EM surges cut off all vehicle safety sys-
markets still accept cash. As I recall, I had a
tems near the hospital. A year prior to this
wonderful time at my own wake.”

moment, I will have asked Simon to pick me
up there today.”

Some minds remain open long enough for the truth not only to enter but to pass on through by way of a ready exit without pausing anywhere along the route.

—Sister Elizabeth Kenny

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Time Out

Edward M. Lerner

Sometimes planning ahead is absolutely
essential—but it can only do so much.

’m coughing, choking. Every breath sears
done anything else. Again memories obliter-
my throat and rasps like sandpaper at my
ate the present.

lungs. Fire licks hungrily at walls, furni-

I’m in the warehouse. I feel the scorching

Iture,equipment.Smoke is everywhere: heat,and I hear the screams,and I smell—
thick, black, and toxic. The f lames hiss,

Convulsively, I throw up.

crackle, and roar.

But nothing masks the screams.

Chapter 1

I fear I’ve been reliving it aloud, because

The tale began and ended— if it has end-
the cop seated across the table glances at the
ed—with Jonas.

wall with the one-way glass. Following his

I would have liked to see myself as Watson
eyes, I catch my own ref lection. That slump-
to Jonas’s Holmes: a colleague, though not
shouldered, expressionless f igure seems at
an equal. I knew better. I was more clueless
least twice my thirty years.

even than Watson.

The cop’s look asks, “Do we let him keep

Better to call me Ishmael to Jonas’s Ahab,
talking or read him his rights?”

Sancho Panza to his Don Quixote, Igor to his

My rights. I try to care. Only the f lames

Victor Frankenstein. There were no happy
and smoke—and the screaming—are real to
endings to those pairings.

me.

So, Jonas . . .

Maybe I overlooked some signal. Maybe
the cop made up his own mind. He begins

Mornings spent in the Home Depot park-
reciting, “You have the right to remain silent.

ing lot had cured my pallor. Flab, alas, did

Anything you say or do can . . .”

not yield so easily. The owlish glasses proba-

No matter my rights, I must remain silent.

bly didn’t recommend me, either. Whatever

I dare not let anyone even suspect, or it will
the reason, the weathered-looking men in
all have been for naught.

their battered, mud-spattered trucks had yet

The horror once more washes over me,
to acknowledge me, much less to offer me
untouched by conviction I could not have
work.

TIME OUT

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ANALOG

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A Mutt and Jeff pair, grinning, had ridden
some high-voltage equipment. It’s all labeled.

off on the f latbed of a pickup, twenty or so

You’ll need to stay away from it.”

minutes earlier. Likely they were the last

“I can do odd jobs,” I assured him, “and
who’d get work today. The main thing that
not electrocute myself, either. I’m Peter Bit-

I’d learned about day labor was that con-
ner, by the way.”

struction jobs began early. That, and that

“Jonas,” he answered ref lexively. “Have
soon the store manager would tell us rejects
any technical aptitude? Electronics, comput-
and laggards to shove off, before the parking
ers, ham radio, that kind of thing?”

area and the store got busy. The understand-

“None whatsoever,” I told him.

ing was we’d be elsewhere by ten.

He nodded. Ignorance, apparently, was a

I’d barely set off for home, such as it was,
good thing.

the June day already warm and humid, when

The men who had stepped forward with
the Hyundai station wagon pulled up. Dirt
me sidled back. Too many had been stiffed at
lay as thick on it as on any truck that had
the end of a day’s work. When, in the chari-
come trawling for cheap laborers, but still it
table expression, you’re an undocumented
didn’t f it. The back seat was folded down,
worker, as many here were, or working off-
and the cargo deck was f illed with—I had no
book for cash, as did ever yone here, to
idea what. Like a tornado had hit a Radio
whom would you complain? People learned

Shack, and deposited the debris there. The
to avoid anyone who felt off.

driver’s shirt, seen through the grimy wind-

Jonas felt off to me, too. So what? I was di-
shield, might have been white. The faint mu-
vorced, disgraced, and destitute. Disowned
sic sounded orchestral and baroque.

by my parents and deserted by my so-called

A window slid down. (The music swelled;
friends. (Except, when I was honest with my-

Vivaldi, I decided.) This was where the
self, the few who had tried to stay in touch.

would-be employer would shout out for car-

Them I was too ashamed to see.) Days away
penters, or painters, or just strong backs.

from homelessness. Rejecting a job— if Jonas This guy was at a loss what to ask, but
offered me one—was a bigger risk than get-
managed to come up with, “Who speaks
ting cheated.

English?” He himself had a trace of an accent.

I asked, “What do you pay?”

Slavic, I thought.

We haggled a bit and came to terms. I got

Most ever yone answered yes (or sí, or
in the car beside Jonas.

twice da). Three of us stepped up to the

“So,” Jonas f inally said, “a priest, a minis-

Hyundai.

ter, and the Dalai Lama.”

The driver had a square face, clean-shaven,

“Sorr y about that. I was improvising.

with epic frown lines. His gray hair was as

Here’s a joke I do know. What do you call a
snarled and unruly as a Brillo pad. Sixty-ish, I
thousand lawyers, buried up to their necks,
guessed. His eyes, small and close set, darted
at the bottom of the ocean?”

about.

“I don’t know. What?”

Beneath the edginess, I sensed something

“A good start,” I told him.

else. Determination. As for the hiring of day

From his bitter laugh, I guessed that Jonas,
labor, he didn’t know what he was doing.

too, had had a run-in with lawyers.

That was okay. I didn’t know what I was
doing, either.

We rode in silence, apart from tinkly harp-

I said, “A priest, a minister, and the Dalai
sichord music, to a seedy, light-industrial

Lama walk into a bar. Stop me if you’ve heard
neighborhood. Jonas parked outside a wood-
this one.”

en warehouse, its paint cracked and peeling,

The man in the station wagon smiled un-
the name of a defunct moving-and-storage
certainly, displaying large, uneven teeth. He
company faded almost to illegibility. I began
said, “I’ll take that as a yes.”

my f irst chore: toting in the boxes and bags

“How can I help you?” I asked.

that f illed the station wagon. Wherever Jonas

“Odd jobs in my workshop. Cleaning. Fur-
shopped, it wasn’t the mall. As for his so-
niture moving. Sort and inventory a bunch of
called workshop, it dwarfed my house.

stuff. Run errands. Just so you know, I have

The four-bedroom colonial I had once

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owned, not the dingy little-more-than-a-closet
station wagon without asking anything more that I rented in a transient hotel.

personal than, “Where do you want this?” (I

Grime coated the warehouse f loor, and
staggered under a couple of the boxes, but
slogging along we added to the already innu-
didn’t ask for help. If my new boss hadn’t no-
merable shoeprints. Oscillating fans stirred
ticed that I was a runt, I saw no reason to
the dust. More dust danced and sparkled in
bring it to his attention.) When I encoun-
the sunbeams slicing down from windows
tered a chicken-wire pen with four guinea
beneath the eaves.

pigs, I told myself these were pets, not, well,

The ceiling was at least twenty feet over
guinea pigs.

my head. Along one edge of the cavernous

Chore two, long overdue, was mopping.

space, above a glass-walled row of mostly va-

Wash water turned black within minutes; I
cant off ices, was a partial second story ac-
rolled my bucket to and from the single utili-
cessible from one end by a cargo elevator
ty sink as much as I swabbed. I hadn’t f in-
and from the other end by a narrow f light of
ished half the f loor—what showed of
well-worn wooden stairs. Paint lay so thickly
it—when Jonas was ready to drop me off.

on the treads as to almost mask the gaps be-

Apart from muttering as he tinkered, his
tween planks. Beneath the stairway, strata
words incomprehensible when they weren’t
upon strata of paper sheets, f lapping to the
inaudible, he had had nothing to say about
back-and-forth cycling of the fans, covered a
what he did.

long corkboard.

The good news was, he paid everything to

Jonas had not been kidding about high-
which we had agreed and tossed in a couple
voltage stuff. Opposite the off ices, within a
extra bucks for my dinner. The better news
padlocked, chain-link enclosure, was what
was, he wanted me back the next day.

looked like a Dominion Power substation.

Something inside the fence put out a tooth-

As I scraped and scrubbed the biology ex-
rattling bass hum. Fat insulated cables
periment that had once been a refrigerator,
snaking along the concrete f loor supplied

Jonas stopped mumbling to himself long
power from within the cage to—I had no
enough to comment, “You do good work.”

idea what.

He retreated into a cluster of bench equip-

Gray cabinets, many with their doors hang-
ment faster than I, in my surprise, could sum-
ing open, lined the remaining two walls. In a
mon a thank-you.

corner, amid heaps of scavenged electronics,

It was our third day together, and I still had
were two freestanding metal strongboxes
no idea what he did, or why his “workshop”

each the size of a f ile drawer. I couldn’t imag-
brimmed with clocks and computers, or why
ine what Jonas imagined anyone might want
he had enough smoke detectors, their boxes
to steal from here.

sealed, to f ill a cabinet. Though he muttered

Computers, instruments, and tools cov-
as he worked, I wasn’t often close enough to
ered the tops and lower shelves of a dozen
make it out. When I could hear, I still made
wooden workbenches; more gear over-
no sense of it. I’d never heard of entropy,
f lowed into the aisles aboard wheeled carts.

tachyons, isotope separation, or recombinant

Colored wire, as abundant as tinsel on a

DNA.

Christmas tree, hung everywhere.

When he took a break from his work it was

Needles leapt and twitched, digital read-
to surf the web; he still muttered, only loud-
outs blinked, and weird shapes morphed and
er. From time to time he’d print off an item,
spun on large displays. Of the instruments
highlight or underline or circle all over it,
near enough to read, about half showed the
and pin it with the collection already on the
current time. I thought nothing of it: half the
corkboard. The printouts, at least, I some-
gadgets in my for mer home doubled as
times understood: ways in which the world
clocks, too.

was going to hell.

This was some workshop.

If Jonas wasn’t a mad scientist, he had ad-

“So are you a mad scientist?” I asked him.

vanced beyond peeved.

“Not yet. Just peevish.”

The next day, as I shuttled old gadgets

Taking the hint, I f inished unloading the
from his scrap heap to shelves I’d improvised

TIME OUT

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ANALOG

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from concrete blocks and boards, Jonas
can see as much. You’re hardworking and
looked my way to ask, “What did you do be-
surely capable of more than I’ve asked of you
fore?”

so far.

I didn’t care to share, but neither could I

“The thing is, my funds are limited. Sup-
afford, however metaphorically, to bite the
pose we stop the day-at-a-time arrangement
hand that fed me. And Jonas was decent
and I set you up rent-free in a room upstairs.

enough, in his mad-scientist way. That morn-

Same pay, still off the books, and I’ll furnish
ing he’d sent me with a twenty to buy pizza
all your meals.”

for our lunch. When I of fered him his

Saving me the daily rent I’d been paying on
change, he’d waved it off.

the rathole where I was living, not to men-

Before was nonspecif ic enough to leave
tion that any of the second-story rooms I’d
some wiggle room without, quite, lying.

emptied out would be larger. Jonas, I’d

“I was in banking,” I told him. That answer
found, already lived in a room upstairs. I was
satisf ied most people. Between the housing
tempted. But—
bubble going pop and the Great Recession,

“I’ll need to know a few things before mak-
banks had done plenty of downsizing.

ing this permanent,” I said. “Respectfully,

“Where you worked as?” Jonas asked.

how do you pay for this?” And for how long

“A clerical,” I equivocated.

could he afford to keep paying? It wasn’t like

Because mortgage workers didn’t get

I’d seen a customer, or that we were in a
much sympathy. Notaries who certif ied
high-rent district. These might be hard times
robo-signed eviction notices got none.

for mad scientists, too.

Never mind that I either approved every-

And I’d learned a hard lesson on the limits
thing as I was told or got f ired. Never mind
to trust.

that the homeowners involved were invari-

“I’m not rich,” Jonas admitted. “I’m not
ably months behind in their payments. Never
without resources, either. The lease here is
mind that the lawyer who managed the delin-
prepaid for another fourteen months by an
quent-accounts department, who demanded

NSF grant I used to have. Most of this equip-
we dispose of thousands of bad loans every
ment is castoffs, from my colleagues at the
month, got off with a tsk and a fat severance
university. For day to day expenses, I have
package.

some savings.”

Britney had been shocked—shocked!—to

“You’re aff iliated with the university?

f ind out what her trusted assistant had done.

Which one?”

There wasn’t as much as a tweet to show

“Smithson-Briarwood,” he said, not meet-
what she had ordered me to do. She’d always
ing my eye. “To be more precise, my former
given orders verbally.

colleagues.”

“Clerical,” Jonas repeated. “I can see that.

Expired grant. Former colleagues. Old

You’re organized. Very systematic.”

enough, no doubt, for tenure, and yet . . .

Doubtless why I’d made such a good

Jonas sighed. “You’re right to be skeptical.

prison librarian. Notary fraud is a felony.

My research is . . . unorthodox. I admit it. But

“Thank you,” I said, wishing he’d drop the

I’m close, Peter. I’m close. And when I suc-subject.

ceed”—he gestured grandly at the clutter all

And then Jonas surprised me. He said, “I
around—” everything will become so much
don’t keep records very well.”

better.”

Big surprise.

“What is your research?” I asked. It was po-He seemed on the verge of adding some-
liter than either question I wanted to ask:

thing, and then thought better of it. “When

How much in savings? What happened to
you’ve f inished clearing that pile of old gear,
your grant?

we’ll call it a day. Tomorrow, you can orga-

“It’s quite abstruse physics. Look, I can
nize the storerooms upstairs.”

promise you this. If my savings run out, you
can continue living here rent-free while the

On the eighth day, Jonas reached a deci-
lease lasts.”

sion.

“And you’ll put that in writing?”

“Look, Peter, I need a regular assistant. You

He nodded.

150

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Somehow, I had to ask. “Abstruse physics.

former boss was lolling on a beach, sipping

How will that make everything better?”

mai tais.

His face reddened, and I feared that I’d

None of which I was about to share.

gone too far.

“Sure,” I told Jonas.

“I was just curious,” I backpedaled. “It

“Maybe the world doesn’t need to be this
doesn’t matter.” As the silence stretched, I
messed up.”

sweated.

If the world would leave me alone, I would

“My peers didn’t understand.” I sensed
gladly return the favor. I said, “Maybe some

Jonas answered himself, not me. “So much
things are meant to be.”

rides on this, and yet they mocked my theo-

“Fate?” Jonas looked disappointed. “God’s
ries as foolish. Mocked me. Conspired to
will? Karma? Here I thought you were an ed-
usurp my grant.”

ucated man.”

“So I think we have an agreement,” I told

Did I believe in fate? Or did I only wish I
him.

did? How liberating it would be to blame

“No one’s books are perfect,” he droned
forces bigger than myself for my failings. Be-
on to himself. “Of course they found an ir-cause then they wouldn’t be my failings,
regularity or two. The excuse they were
would they?

searching for to reclaim my funding.”

None of which I was about to share.

“Auditors?” I guessed.

“Not all education is the same,” I said.

His eyes snapped back into focus and he

“You scientists learn to ask why things work.

noticed me again. “Yes, the damn auditors. I

Engineers learn to ask how things work. Ac-
appealed their ruling, for all the good it did
countants learn to ask how much things
me. When they denied my appeal I tried tak-
cost.”

ing them to court, only to be told the matter

“And English majors? What do you learn?”

was between me and the NSF.”

“To ask, ‘Do you want fries with that?’”

I recalled how bitterly Jonas had laughed

Jonas chuckled, but I hadn’t diverted him.

that f irst day at my lawyer joke. It seemed we

He tried again. “But maybe the world doesn’t
had more in common that I would have
need to be this messed up.”

guessed.

Forget fate, I thought. Just look at human

I told my boss, “I’ll move in tomorrow.”

nature. Evenings, if I took the time to surf the
news, now that I again had access to the net,

Chapter 2
the world seemed pretty determined to go to

My f irst few days living in the warehouse,
hell.

I spoke more to the guinea pigs than with

What was on Jonas’s mind today?

Jonas. I got to know the manager at the local

Economies in freefall? Climate change? Nu-
bodega and the counter staff at the nearby
clear proliferation? Terrorism? Narco-states?

eateries from which I picked up our takeout.

On his wall of woes, all had a prominent

I started f lirting with the cute blond cashier,
place.

she of the most striking green eyes, at the 7-

“What do you mean?” I asked.

Eleven.

Jonas followed my glance to his corkboard.

Whereas Jonas, after I moved in, hardly

“Suppose someone knew what was coming.

ever left the building.

Would we listen?”

Perhaps that was why, at long last, Jonas

Had I believed anyone ever listened, I
ceased his muttering and emerged from
would have been a whistleblower instead of
among his clustered workbenches to ask,
a patsy. Or maybe my character f law was the

“Do you ever wonder?”

lack of guts, not a lack of belief. Either way, I

Amid the monotony of my duties, I did lit-
had held my tongue and held onto my pay-
tle but wonder: about the shambles my life check for a few more months, while Brit-had become. About the choices I’d made,
ney’s orders outvoted my conscience.

and that Amy, my ex, had made. About what

Still, talking about most anything would

Amy was doing now, and with whom. About
beat the customary grim silence and nonstop
the dreary and lonesome existence stretch-
introspection.

ing ahead of me. I wondered if my scuzzball

“The problem is, no one knows.” I ges-

TIME OUT

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tured, vaguely, toward his corkboard. “The
ing the near-indigent I had become. I
world is full of so-called experts who claim to
couldn’t imagine that overconf ident, snot-
know best, and who don’t agree on the time
nosed teen listening. Or me of a year—and a
of day.”

lifetime—earlier, either.

A sad smile f lickered over Jonas’s face.

Did Jonas wish he could tell his earlier self

“No, they don’t.” When I didn’t comment,
to take better care of his grant’s f inances? Or
he turned back toward the workbenches and
to choose a research topic more respectable
his whatever-it-was.

than whatever it was he did do? Or to seek

Suddenly I was loath to let our f irst real,
friends beyond his circle of fickle colleagues?

however vapid, conversation end. To Jonas,

As Jonas went back to his enigmatic task, I
but really talking to myself, I said, “We don’t
couldn’t help feeling there was something
need more experts. We need a do-over.”

more that he had wanted to discuss.

“Exactly,” he said. “Suppose you could
warn the world about Hitler in 1938. Not

For all its awkwardness, the stop-Hitler-ear-
that he was an evil, ambitious man, or that
ly conversation had knocked down the wall
he meant to start a terrible war—but that he
between us. That afternoon as we worked,
had started a war. That millions died. That we talked baseball. That evening, in the for-the whole political order of Europe was shat-
mer break room become our improvised
tered, and that as a result, the communists
kitchen, we discussed music over pizza and
occupied half the continent to enslave mil-
beer. But when Jonas began frothing about a
lions more. Would you?”

f inancial crisis, this latest one, apparently,

I’d been giving fresh food and water to the
embroiling Europe, I nodded along and con-
guinea pigs when all this started. Much to
centrated on my beer. Whatever had gone

Jonas’s amusement, I had given them names.

wrong with Greece’s debt, no one could fault

I f inished, latched the cage door, and stood.

me.

“That’s tricky,” I said. “Stop Hitler and

The next day, as I cleared breakfast dishes
what else do you alter? Millions of lives
from the workbench that ser ved as our
saved, sure, but billions of lives changed.”

dinette table, Jonas talked about entropy.

“Not so tricky,” Jonas said, glowering. “Not

Whatever that was. Something to do with his
for everyone. If you came from Poland, it
abstruse physics, I guessed. He’d mumbled to
would be easy. Between the Nazis and the
himself about entropy often enough.

Russians, one out of six Poles died during

This once he noticed my blank expression.

World War II. For decades after, the commu-

“Disorder, if you will.”

nists oppressed and impoverished those who

“If I will what?”

had survived.”

Jonas shook his head, smiling. “Think of

Anger brought out the accent I had almost
entropy as measuring the homogeneity of a
ceased to notice. From the short letter that
system.”

passed for a contract between us, entitling

“That doesn’t help,” I said.

me to live upstairs for the next fourteen

A coffee mug sat on a workbench beside
months, I had learned Jonas’s full name. His
him. He pointed. “There’s milk in my coffee.

family name was Gorski. I wondered when,

It’s well mixed, making the color within the
and under what circumstances, he had
mug uniform.”

moved to this country.

“Uh-huh.”

“Or I could go back to my youth,” I said,

He persisted. “The coffee is hot. At a mole-
changing the subject without too overtly
cular level the coffee and milk are rushing
changing the subject. If Jonas had the locks
about. Despite that random motion, you nev-
changed while I was out running an errand,
er see milk gathering itself and the rest of the
what could I do? Hire a lawyer? “I’d teach my
cup’s contents turning black. Entropy is why
younger self everything I’ve learned about
not.”

women. It wouldn’t take long.”

I frowned, trying to puzzle that out. “It’s

I laughed at myself. After a second Jonas
some kind of force that operates on milk?”

joined in.

“Only metaphorically,” Jonas said. “The

But I kept picturing my younger self meet-
force of numbers. There are countless ways

152

EDWARD M. LERNER

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for the milk and coffee to arrange themselves

There was no jackpot.

in which the f luids remain blended. The

As I hid behind my coffee mug, Jonas
arrangements in which milk and coffee have
stood. “I have a list of groceries for you to
separated are vastly fewer.”

pick up. After that, and taking care of the

“But it could happen,” I challenged.

guinea pigs, I’ll have you start with—”

“It could.” He stroked his chin pensively.

“What does time travel have to do with

Deciding whether to go on or cut his losses?

coffee and milk?” I blurted out. “I mean en-

“You’re familiar with the physicist Murray
tropy?”

Gell-Mann?”

Blinking at the interruption, Jonas still

I’d heard of Einstein and Newton and an
managed to look pleased. He must miss dis-

Italian. It took me a moment to retrieve that
cussing science with colleagues. As sorry a
name, Galileo. I had my doubts I knew any
substitute as I must be, I had shown interest.

other physicists. “I don’t think so.”

He said, “What isn’t forbidden is mandato-

“No matter.” Perhaps not, but Jonas looked
ry. Time travel, as far as anyone can tell, is
thwarted. “Gell-Mann once said, ‘That which
not forbidden.”

is not forbidden is mandatory.’ ”

Even I could complete the syllogism: Ergo,

“So we should be seeing milk separate?”

time travel is mandatory. But I could not

“Yes, but not in our lifetimes,” Jonas said.

bring myself to voice the obvious implica-

“Gell-Mann’s domain was particle physics. I
tion.

don’t know that he ever thought about milk

Jonas spoke for me. “So where are the time
dispersing. The thing is . . .”

travelers?”

“Yes?”

“The laws of physics, all of them, work the Where are the time travelers?

same forward and back.”

I take my coffee black, but I couldn’t not

“Forward and backward,” I repeated.

reach for the milk pitcher. I kept pouring, my

“In time,” he added. “Suppose a car main-
coffee turning paler and paler. I didn’t stop
tains a constant velocity due north at sixty
till liquid lapped at the brim.

miles per hour, and I know where that car is

“The future is a long time,” I said. “If ever
at this moment. By elementary physics I can
time travel is invented, wouldn’t someone
as easily tell you where the vehicle was ten
come back to our time?”

minutes ago as where it will be ten minutes

“You would think,” Jonas said, watching
from now.”

me intently.

My mug was empty. Pouring a ref ill, I won-

In my confusion, I managed to bump the
dered about Jonas’s day-earlier wondering. I
table. Coffee sloshed, ran off the bench top,
took a great intuitive leap. “You’re interested
and splattered my shoes. I hardly noticed.

in time travel.”

The more time goes by, the more thor-

“I am.”

oughly milk and black coffee must mix. As

“So that someone could stop Hitler.”

the future inevitably stretched out after the

“Merely as an example.”

inevitable invention of time travel, must not

I’d been right from the f irst. I worked for a
the pre-discovery and post-discovery eras
mad scientist. Outside of a Terminator
eventually mix, too?

movie, who talked about time machines?

So where were the time travelers?

But dusting in Jonas’s room, I’d seen

Perhaps they lived among us in secrecy. Or
framed doctoral degrees in physics and elec-
maybe recorded history, all of it, was sometrical engineering from Harvard and MIT. On
how a vanishingly improbable era, our “cof-
the wooden crate that served him as an end
fee” and their “milk” staying separate despite
table, a beer stein emblazoned with a Smith-
the odds. Or . . .

son-Briarwood crest congratulated him on

Suppose the metaphorical coffee of our
making associate professor. It wasn’t hard to
era remained black because there was no
believe he had once won an NSF grant.

metaphorical milk of time travelers from the

So: scientist, crackpot, or both? My
future. Suppose the future—at least for hu-
thoughts spun around and around, like the
manity—came to an end before the invention
wheels in a slot machine.

of time travel.

TIME OUT

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Jonas’s sneering at fate notwithstanding,

He refused to believe, his posture told me.

the litany of the world’s ills on his corkboard

Because if it were true, he’d wasted . . . years?

assumed a sickening new inevitability.

“Shall I leave the music on?” I asked, head-

“I hope you’re a raving loon,” I said.

ed for the kitchen door.

“I hope so, too,” Jonas answered.

“What?”

“Music. You know, the radio.” I gestured at

Chapter 3
the boom box on the counter. “I got this

Eventually I stopped counting my days in
clunker out of the scrap heap. Not that the
the warehouse. I had a job, however menial.

reception here is anything to write home—”

Instead, as Jonas’s mood grew ever darker, I

Something f lashed in his eyes, stopping
wondered how many days’ work remained.

me. Not depression, or disappointment, or

Because whatever he attempted to build
anger. Something more thoughtful.

here, it wasn’t working for him.

Something—could it be?—hopeful.

He cursed out his equipment, slammed

A broad grin lit Jonas’s face. “Peter,” he
doors, growled at me, punted innocent
said, “you’re a genius.”

wastebaskets. Twice he flung things against a
wall. Whatever an oscilloscope was, it shat-

I returned that afternoon from the bodega
tered impressively.

to encounter Jonas in safety goggles, drilling

It was a dreary Thursday, the thunder all
into a strongbox. The strongbox door hung
but constant, rain in sheets cascading down
open, so I had no idea why. The squeal of the
the few, high windows. Inside the ware-
drill was piercing, and I didn’t try to ask.

house, the atmosphere was grimmer. With

The strongbox steel was tough, or the bit
gauges and meter s I could not begin to
wasn’t, or both. Jonas snapped three bits and
name, Jonas checked and double-checked his
burnt out two drill motors before punching
latest setup. Muttering became snarling—and
through. Setting down the third drill, he at-
swearing, when I asked what I should work
tacked the hole’s edges with a sturdy rasp.

on next. I made myself scarce, but slams and

By then, my sleeves rolled up, I’d begun
thumps pursued me.

mucking out the guinea-pig cage. My chore

From deep in one of our electronics scrap
might have gone faster, too, if I weren’t still
heaps I recovered an old boom box. Radio re-
f ixated on that recent outré breakfast con-
ception sucked, staticky whether from
versation. Surely Jonas had been pulling my

Jonas’s equipment or from the storm, but a
leg!

few FM signals were tolerable. I changed sta-

But what if he wasn’t? The lab was full of
tions the moment any news came on. Why
clocks and I couldn’t stop staring at them.

add to Jonas’s frustrations?

Could any of Jonas’s gadgets have traveled

I was surveying the refrigerator when
through time?

Jonas appeared. He looked . . . beaten.

No, I guessed. The clock displays all read

“What do you feel like for lunch?” I asked.

out within seconds of one another.

He didn’t respond.

“Give me a hand,” Jonas called. He’d un-

“Tell you what,” I said. “I’ll go out and
locked the gate of the chain-link cage.

leave you alone.” Living and eating for free at

“What’s with the strongbox?” I asked as
the warehouse, I’d retained most of my mea-
we rolled out a table-sized wooden reel of
ger earnings. I could afford a Big Mac. Fries,
electrical cable.

even. “Can I bring back something for you?”

“You’ll see.”

Shoulders slumped, he said, “Anything not

The cable unspooling behind us was mas-
forbidden is mandatory.”

sive. To feed power to a freaking time ma-

“Outside Hollywood, maybe it is forbid-
chine? If he wasn’t toying with me.

den,” I said.

“Anything else I can help with?” I asked.

“You’re not alone in thinking that.” Jonas

“Can you run a camcorder?”

popped the cap off a beer bottle and took a

“I think so.”

long swig. “My backstabbing, unimaginative

“Be certain,” Jonas said. He got a cam-

‘peers’ insist cause must always precede ef-
corder from a cabinet and handed it to me.

fect. I don’t believe that.”

“This is important.”

154

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I roamed about the warehouse, shooting
closed the entire time.”

and playing back short movies—except that

That was more guidance for me. I held the
nothing in them moved. I tried f ilming the
camera steady on the strongbox and clock.

guinea pigs, but they didn’t stir till I dropped

He f idgeted as the minutes crept by. At
cucumber slices into their cage. I don’t know

2:13, he said, “This is interminable, isn’t it?”

why, but they loved cucumber. By the time

The clock on the workbench rolled over to

I’d mastered the camcorder controls, Jonas

2:14. With a f lourish, Jonas unlocked the
had stowed some of his gear at the bottom of
strongbox, swung open the door, and raised
the strongbox, beneath its single shelf. An
his watch to the camcorder.

end of the thick cable we’d rolled over now

The wristwatch, still sweeping out the sec-
ran through the hole he had so painstakingly
onds, read 2:04.

drilled.

“Ready?” he asked.

That night we had champagne. Cheap

“Ready.” For what, exactly? I wanted to
champagne in mismatched water tumblers,
ask.

but still.

I raised the camera to my eye, pushed REC,

Jonas raised his glass. “A toast: to under-
and Jonas began to speak.

standing, at long last. I couldn’t have done it
without you.”

“You see here an apparatus of my own de-

We clinked glassware. “Understanding
sign. In a few minutes, I will lock it inside
what?”

this strongbox. Walk with me”—guidance to

“Where the time travelers are.”

the cameraman, I decided, and I followed

And I had contributed? “I’m not following.

Jonas around the workbench—“and you’ll

Where are they?”

f ind but a single small opening in the box.”

“Still in the future,” Jonas said. He patted

I zoomed where he had pointed, to where
the boom box I had salvaged. “You can’t re-
he had puttied the hole. But the f iller wasn’t
cover a radio signal without a radio receiver.”

putty, but rather a quick-setting glue of some

Pregnant pause. “It turns out you can’t move
kind. When he prodded the material with
anything through time without a proper re-
the tip of a heavy rasp, it went thunk. “As ceiver, either.”

you can see, I’ve even sealed the crack

Anything such as a wristwatch. I was still
around the power cord.”

struggling to wrap my brain around that feat.

Jonas spoke as a scientist—to posterity, I

“And?”

supposed, or to the colleagues who had

He f inished his champagne, poured a gen-
doubted him—not for the likes of me. I soon
erous ref ill, and topped off my glass. “And so
lost the thread. I dutifully captured it all,
there can’t be time travel—not of a person,
zooming in when directed on his massive
not of a scrap of paper—without a compati-
wristwatch. It, like the digital clock on the
ble device to receive the traveler.”

workbench beside the strongbox, showed

“So till someone builds a receiver . . .”

2:02 P.M. Then I shot the timepieces side by

“As I’ve done.”

side: the steady sweep of the seconds hand

“Then should we expect scraps of paper
on the one, the f lickering digits on the other.

from the future?” Or did he mean to build a

He slipped off the wristwatch and set it on
much larger unit? A person-sized unit? I shiv-
the strongbox shelf. Beneath the shelf, the
ered.

apparatus he’d built had a keypad and two

“One step at a time, Peter,” he said. “We
displays. With a few keystrokes he set both.

wouldn’t want to rush into any Grandfather

One display held steady at ten minutes; the

Paradoxes, now would we?”

second, on which he had entered sixty sec-

“Which is?”

onds, began to count down when he tapped

“A riddle of cause and effect. Imagine I

ENTER.

travel back in time and prevent my grandpar-

Jonas shut the strongbox door and spun
ents from meeting.”

the dial of the combination lock. He said,

If his grandparents never meet, then his

“Now we wait, until 2:14 by this clock. You’ll
parents . . . aren’t. Therefore he . . . isn’t. But observe that the strongbox door remains
if he never existed, he can hardly travel back.

TIME OUT

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Then his grandparents do meet. Then . . . ?

Jonas sat, his head cocked, his lips pressed

Jonas laughed. “You look suitably per-
thin, not responding. “Ah,” he f inally said.

plexed. My point is, one shouldn’t use this

He stepped off his stool and trundled over an
technology lightly.”

industrial platform scale. “Weigh yourself.

“How should time travel be used?”

Tell me if this works.”

“Carefully,” Jonas said, “and for very seri-

With shoes on and fully clothed, I regis-
ous matters.”

tered scarcely one forty. “It works.”

“Now help me with the strongbox.”

Chapter 4

We lowered the strongbox to the scale

In the days that followed his breakthrough
platform. The safe outweighed me by ten

Jonas was manic. He puttered with his appa-
pounds! Jonas had gotten it onto the work-
ratus, f ine-tuning it, I gathered, and tidying
bench unaided.

up what he’d built. Passing through his lab

“Now watch the scale,” he said.

area on my chores, I often found him

“If you want to convince me, wouldn’t a
hunched over a tabletop, furiously scribbling
peephole be easier?”

in a bound, canvas-covered notebook.

“The f ield projection must be invariant,

Then, late one morning, the beeping start-
lest temporal displacements f luctuate within
ed.

the transported object. To maintain that uni-

At f irst I ignored it. The tones sounded like
formity, the integrity of the conductive en-
our microwave oven. Hay fever had my ears
closure is essential.”

clogged, and I had little sense of direction for

“Huh?”

any noise’s origin. But as every few minutes

“It works better with metal all around,” he
the beeping recur red, the microwave
translated. “Just watch.”

seemed an improbable source. How many

He opened the strongbox and set a brass
cups of tea could Jonas drink?

cylinder on the shelf. “A standard calibrated

Then a beep triplet came just as I passed
weight. One kilogram. Correct?”

Jonas’s workspace. I saw him look up from

The scale’s digital readout had bumped up
his lab book, set down his pen, and open the
a bit more than two pounds. “Agreed,” I said.

strongbox door. He took a wooden ruler

Crouched to reach into the strongbox
from the box’s shelf, compared that ruler to

Jonas tapped away on the controls. He stood
a ruler on his bench, and nodded with satis-
and closed the door. “I’m sending that
faction.

weight ahead f ive minutes. Keep an eye on

“They look the same to me,” I volunteered.

the scale.”

“As they should,” Jonas said. “But it’s best

Seconds later the readout dropped by two
to conf irm these things.”

pounds. Five minutes after, simultaneous

“The beeps are from a timer?”

with the f inal beep of a new triplet, the two

He shook his head. “I modif ied my rig to
extra pounds again registered.

beep when it receives something.”

Pairs of ordinary items—mugs, tape mea-

A little after one-thirty I returned from
sures, pens — surrounded him. “I gather

Taco Bell with a bag of burritos. Jonas, his
you’ve been sending through lots of stuff,” I
back to me, was again hunched over a work-
said. “Did everything emerge okay?”

bench. Two boxed smoke detectors sat in

“The pen still writes and the ruler remains
front of him.

a foot long.”

As though all his high-voltage stuff weren’t

“And you’re sure the things in the box
enough to make the old warehouse a f ire
didn’t just sit there the entire while.”

hazard, there were the stacks of wooden pal-

“Of course I am,” he snapped. “The trip-
lets, the kerosene space heaters we’d surely
ping of a sensor circuit triggers the alert
need a few months hence, and cabinets filled
tones. I wouldn’t expect you to understand.”

with aerosol cans. It nonetheless remained a

“Sorry.” The handyman’s opinion wasn’t
myster y to me — one among many—why
always welcome. “It’s after twelve. I thought

Jonas owned so many home smoke detec-

I’d go out and grab some lunch. What sounds
tors. The open rafters overhead showed
good to you?”

plenty of sprinkler heads with their own

156

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smoke detectors.

booth, I detoured to the men’s room. I re-

“I have my doubts two more smoke detec-
joined Jonas to f ind he’d ordered a bottle of
tors will make a big difference,” I said.

wine. We were celebrating, he told me; as he

He jumped. “I didn’t hear you come in.”

all but swilled a glassful, the trembling of his

“Are you okay?”

hand said something more.

“A little before one o’clock, the transceiver

That he, too, was conf licted made me feel
beeped. The thing is, I had nothing due to ar-
just a tad better.

rive. And I’ve never sent smoke detectors.”

It was a Wednesday and not yet six o’-

Then how . . . ? Oh. “Future you sent
clock. We had the bistro almost to ourselves.

them.”

“Future you waited f ive years to send that

“So it seems. Only I, he, sent just one of
smoke detector,” I said. Or would wait. Or
these detectors. The second unit I retrieved
must wait. “Why?”

from the supply cabinet.”

Jonas folded and unfolded his napkin. “Af-

I’d known Jonas happy and sad, manic and
ter taking so long to decide, you mean, why
dejected. I’d never seen him awed.

communicate so far into his past?”

“You weren’t ready to try moving some-

“Communicate?” I echoed. “Future you
thing backward,” I guessed. I had hoped.

sent a smoke detector. He’s told you noth-

Grandfather paradoxes scared me.

ing.”

“Not hardly.” Jonas laughed humorlessly.

“Not so. To this point, I’ve only sent things

“But future me was. Is.”

forward. He’s shown me that travel to the

“How far into the future? Do you know?”

past is possible. An effect before its cause . . .

“I will,” Jonas said. “Because I, he, intends
of sorts.”

that I know. A smoke detector with the iden-

And what of grandfather paradoxes? I
tical serial number was sitting in my cabi-
chugged my own wine. “Maybe future you
net.”

communicated something deeper, by choos-
ing to reveal nothing about his time. Maybe

Who knew that the guts of a smoke detec-
it’s his way of saying this research is danger-
tor were radioactive?

ous.”

Jonas did; that’s why he owned so many. A

Dropping the napkin into his lap, Jonas
bit of radioactive material ionized air within
pressed his f ingertips together contempla-
the detector’s case, the ionized molecules
tively. He opened his mouth to speak, then
completing an electrical circuit. Let soot par-
thought better of it. I dared to hope he was
ticles intrude, and the level of ionization
reconsidering.

dropped. The resulting dip in the circuit’s

But no.

current was what the detector actually de-

“You’re wrong,” Jonas said f latly. “Future
tected.

me used the technology. I, he, had reasons Unlike most things radioactive, no one
important enough to risk a paradox.”

knew or cared how many smoke detectors

I mulled that over, still tangled in a thicket
someone bought. And why would they care?

of tenses and subjunctives. “You’re thinking

Even out of its case, a few centimeters of air
of the Hitler scenario?”

suff iced to block the radioactive pellet’s fee-

“In a manner of speaking,” Jonas agreed.

ble emissions.

“Of course we can’t intervene back then.

With a sniff at my ignorance, Jonas harvest-

There wasn’t yet a receiver. However . . .”

ed the radioactive material from both detec-

Our waitress had sauntered over to de-
tor s. His instruments showed both still
scribe the dinner specials. I tuned her out,
radiating, but one not quite as much as the
trying to grasp two Jonases communicating
other. One detector’s pellet had decayed.

across the years, and effects that preceded

When Jonas did the math, that pellet came
their causes.

from f ive years in the future.

An analogy seemed simpler. If Jonas could
preempt the Nazi invasion of Poland, then

We dined out that evening, Jonas splurging
what? Maybe a war just as horrif ic between
on a place with waiters and white damask
the West and Stalin’s Russia, with Poland
tablecloths. As the maitre d’ led the way to a
again caught in the middle. And maybe

TIME OUT

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Jonas’s father dies in that alternate war. Or
war is averted, and so a Polish soldier killed

Chapter 5
in Hitler’s invasion instead lives to meet and

Jonas never showed me his message to
marr y Jonas’s mother. Either way there
himself, but it must have offered more than
would be no Jonas to foil Hitler so . . .

the one tip on the horses. Twice I saw him

The waitress prattled on about delicate
online trading stocks and bonds. Once he
sauces and exotic mushrooms while my
might have been making foreign-currency
mind ran in circles.

trades; he shut his laptop before I got a good

I asked for the special, whatever it was, as
look at the screen.

the path of least resistance. I didn’t catch

Whatever he was doing, money ceased to
what Jonas ordered. At last the woman left
be a problem for him.

us.

He increased my pay, too, to what I sur-

“Where were we?” Jonas asked. “Oh, yes. I
mised was a reasonable salary for a handy-
take today’s surprise as a good thing.”

man—generous, considering how unhandy I

“Maybe it’s time to bring in the authori-
was. In the same breath he announced that
ties,” I said.

part of the increase was in lieu of my former

“And who would you trust with this tech-
meal allowance.

nology?” he shot back. “No, we must keep

I took the point: no more fraternizing, let
this to ourselves. Trust me.”

alone unsolicited advice on his project.

In my mind’s ear, Britney laughed mock-

Weeks passed, then months. The tension
ingly.

eased and we started eating together again.

Once, I could have gone to bank examin-

We talked football. But unless asked, I no
ers at the FDIC. I could have contacted the
longer commented on his research.

SEC. Hundreds of foreclosure orders cranked

In October, Jonas plunked down an Inter-
out daily, beyond any plausible claim that a
net bet on the Super Bowl, and in February
human being had reviewed the paperwork.

he cleaned up. Along the way I had sum-

Easy to show. I’d been a notary and longtime
moned the nerve to invite Victoria, from the
employee of the mortgage department. I

7-Eleven, for coffee. It turned out we shared
would have had some credibility.

several interests. I began to have a life again.

Where did a disgraced felon handyman

Absent a few dollars in my pocket, would I

English major go to report reckless experi-
have asked her out? I couldn’t know. What if
ments with the fabric of reality? Who would
things worked out between us? What if she
listen?

and I married, had children—only without

I said, “If future you wanted you to change
the windfall from Future Jonas, that wouldn’t
something, he would have told you. Told you have happened? Or what if, by keeping sewhere things went wrong. Suggested what
crets, I poisoned the romance that was
you should do, whom you should approach.

meant to be?

He knows all that you know, and everything

Gadgets no longer arrived as guilt offerings
he’s learned since.”

from Jonas’s former colleagues, in truckload

“Maybe,” Jonas said. I read into the angry
consignments of “miscellaneous electronics”

tremor of his voice, “We’re done talking
to be scavenged, or by scrounging at the
about this.”

dump, but in FedEx cartons—sometimes

Ref illing my wineglass, I f irst noticed the
even from tech f irms I’d heard of. I f illed
label. Jonas had selected a Cheval Blanc, and
dumpster after dumpster with the junk from
a good year at that. Not cheap.

Jonas’s parts heaps, clearing f loor space for

“Something came through with the smoke
freestanding shelves and yet more work-
detector,” I guessed.

benches. Jonas’s research took over more

“A racing tip,” he admitted.

and more of the warehouse.

And by ordering a bottle of otherwise un-

He used the expanded work area to scale
affordable wine, Jonas had already begun re-
up his experiments. I would have thought
making the future.

that a simple task: use a larger enclosure, per-

We ate our expensive dinners in uncom-
haps, or crank up the voltage. Evidently, I’d
fortable silence.

have been wrong. But bit by bit he was able

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EDWARD M. LERNER

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to time-shift larger and heavier objects—an
seismologists, geologists, some one. At the ancient doorstop, a toner cartridge, a stack
least I could have raised a few doubts, in-
of dinner plates.

stilled some heightened awareness.”

Only some items came out . . . wrong. Cal-

Stunned by what I was seeing, I could only
culators emerged spitting sparks, or unable
shrug.

to add and subtract properly, or inert. Shifted

Whole towns smashed to rubble. An entire
fruit smelled odd, and never twice in the
passenger train swept out to sea. Power
same manner. To my unvoiced relief, the
plants shut down across much of the coun-
guinea pigs shied away from the scraps Jonas
try. For days, we could hardly look away. The
offered them. He mused aloud about impene-
distance that had come between us all but
trable topics like “microscopic regions of
vanished.

f ield inhomogeneity,” then ordered yet more

Call that, while it lasted, the tissue-thin sil-
esoteric instrumentation. Beyond expensive
ver lining.

and bulky, I had no idea what any of the new

Then, one after another, the Fukushima re-
paraphernalia was.

actors melted down. The icy intensity that

After a while Jonas had six prototypes of
settled upon Jonas terrif ied me.

varying features and capacities under test on
as many workbenches. By then he had start-

“Forget him.” Jonas shoved away his lap-
ed keeping a schedule on a freestanding
top. “I could warn me.”

whiteboard: what he had sent forward, in-

“But you didn’t,” I said.

side which prototype unit, due to reappear

“But I could,” he shot back. “That’s the
when.

beauty of having a time machine.”

I learned to ignore the incessant beeping.

“Changing what else? Future you must

One thing didn’t change: Jonas grumbling
have had a reason not to mention this.”

as he labored, glaring at the news that ever

“That Jonas won’t tell anyone anything,”

streamed from his laptop. Financial conta-

Jonas snapped. “That future went by the way-
gion in Greece had spread to more of Eu-
side when he gave me the means to speed up
rope. Sinking house prices continued to drag
my work.”

down the U.S. economy. Glaciers and icecaps

“And if you send your earlier self a mes-
melted faster than predicted by climate mod-
sage, won’t our era”—and the experiences
els. The North Koreans dropped a test mis-
of everyone in it?—”go by the wayside?”

sile into the Sea of Japan, and the Iranians

“Thousands are dead. Thousands more are
came ever closer to having nukes. I hung a
missing. Thousands to whom we can restore
second corkboard for Jonas, and he soon had
a future. What’s happened in the last week
it richly layered in news printouts.

worth saving—”

As far as I knew, this Jonas had yet to send On a nearby workbench, something went
any warning back in time, and for that I was
beep-beep-beep.

grateful. Maybe he, too, at some level, also

Jonas glanced at his whiteboard and
worried about paradoxes.

f linched. “I have nothing due.”

He told me what he wanted me to do and I

His latest device enclosures had windows:

did it. We discussed little unrelated to my go-
metal mesh embedded in glass, like in the
phering and cleaning. Until—
door of a microwave oven. The mesh suf-
f iced to maintain field homogeneity, what-

“Damn him!” Jonas shouted.

ever that was, in the enclosed volume. And

I came at a run from the break room. On
so, within the unit that had just beeped, I

Jonas’s laptop screen a wall of water loomed
saw a smoke-detector carton atop a sheet of
over little boxes. Only those boxes were
paper.

buildings! The screen crawl shouted: MASSIVE

The note, when Jonas retrieved it, exhibit-

EARTHQUAKE AND TSUNAMI STRIKE JAPAN. THOU-
ed the same spidery script as the whiteboard.

SANDS MISSING AND FEARED DEAD. As I watched,

Jonas’s handwriting.

the tidal wave carried away—everything.

The note said only: DON’T DO IT!

“Why didn’t he warn me?” Jonas turned to-
ward me, ashen. “I would have contacted

The note rattled me, but not as much as

TIME OUT

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ANALOG

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what the smoke detector revealed. It, too,
hesitancy vanished.

matched a serial number from our collection

Still, to my relief, Jonas heeded his future
of smoke detectors. The imperious com-
self and sent back no warning.

mand came from little more than two years
ahead of us.

Chapter 6

An earlier Future Jonas had weighed in.

Expensive equipment kept coming. The

“He knows more than we know,” I said.

electron microscope, I almost understood

“We should listen to him.”

(though not why Jonas wanted one). Most

Jonas began to pace, his brow furrowed.

names and explanations ricocheted off me.

In a way, our shared confusion reassured me.

Some of the instrumentation he custom-or-

And at the same time, it terrif ied me. If he
dered. That, I gathered, was pricey.

didn’t understand the implications . . .

Nor did he limit his shopping spree to tech

Time travel made my head hurt. Suppose
gear. He donated our furniture to the Salva-

Future Jonas of the earliest contact was gone,
tion Army and replaced it with good stuff. He
done in by his own actions. Was that suicide?

bought himself exercise gear. He donated the

A noble sacrif ice? Insanity? And what of me
well-used Hyundai station wagon, too, and
in that future? My, or his, life would have
began driving a Lexus sport ute.

been swept away, too.

When he went out at all.

But if Future Jonas was gone, who was it

The better-equipped his lab became, the
that sent, or would send, those stock tips?

edgier Jonas got about the neighborhood. He

Expensive equipment still surrounded us,
had a security f irm reactivate and monitor
paid for somehow. I struggled to grasp a futhe warehouse’s old alarm system. He wasn’t
ture not as much forestalled as f ine-tuned.

sleeping well, either. Creeping downstairs

“Thousands would be saved,” Jonas said
for midnight snacks, I used to f ind the
abruptly, still pacing the aisle between two
ground f loor dark. Now, as often as not, I’d
rows of workbenches. “And the nuclear
f ind him in the lab area. Tinkering, obses-
plants could be shut down preemptively, the
sively following current events, or standing
meltdowns avoided, a whole region spared
guard? I couldn’t always tell.

from contamination. Yet I’ve told myself to

“Too damn much work,” Jonas said when I
do nothing. Because? Because?”

suggested moving. To relocate the lab, he

At the end of the aisle, once again facing
meant. “And I’ll thank you not to spend my
me, Jonas stopped. “He, I, may fear a warn-
money. That’s not what it’s for.”

ing will make matters worse. It’s a theory,

“Sorry,” I said.

anyway.”

I’d been apologizing a lot. Other than that

“Can a warning make a tsunami worse?”

Jonas was cranky, I wasn’t sure why. I didn’t

“Not the tsunami,” Jonas said. “The prob-
think he was angry with me.

lem would be a precise earthquake predic-

That left only him.

tion, because there’s never been such a

His progress appeared to have stalled. Cal-
thing. People will demand explanations. My culators and cell phones and anything else
research interests aren’t secret, and none of
that relied upon precision microelectronics
them involve seismology.”

never functioned after a time shift. And the

Transforming Jonas overnight from dis-
objects he chose to shift had stopped getting
credited crackpot into the man who knows
heavier. I gathered that had something to do
the future. How long till the government
with power requirements.

seized his technology? What would be the ef-

“I don’t want them inside,” Jonas often
fects of that?

muttered. The power company, I decided he

“Jonas.” My voice cracked. “Keep this ge-
meant. They might steal his work.

nie in its bottle. You only need to stop.”

As his experiments progressed, an electri-

“No,” he said, breaking eye contact. “I was
cal overload was probably inevitable. Still,
given the resources to work faster. That hap-
when one happened, Jonas wasn’t quite sure
pened for a purpose.”

why. A typo, perhaps: Maybe he’d accidental-

I sensed something in his expression, but
ly scheduled two arrivals for the same mo-
in an instant—if I hadn’t imagined it—the
ment. Or maybe he’d miscalibrated one of his

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devices.

“The boss likes his privacy.”

Maybe, I opined, future Jonas had had

Jonas had f inally ordered a second high-
something more to say.

voltage line for his lab. About now he’d be

My theory he dismissed with a scowl.

watching a Dominion Power service crew

Whatever the reason, two transceivers
like a hawk. Even though we’d covered his
beeped in unison. Once.

work area with canvas tarps. And draped a

With a blinding fountain of sparks, the
second layer of cloths over the f irst, lest any
warehouse substation blew. Cascading ef-
of the f irst batch should slip.

fects plunged the neighborhood into dark-

But as uneasy as Jonas had been about ad-
ness for several blocks in every direction.

mitting the power-line techs, he’d also been

And in neither transceiver did any object
eager: a calculator transmitted forward the
come through.

evening before had arrived still able to calcu-

The temporary blackout was a small thing,
late. The improvement had to do, somehow,
surely.

with “more precise real-time modulation of

But so is the proverbial Amazonian butter-
the transfer stream, at more noise-resistant
f ly, whose f lapping wings give rise—weeks
carrier-wave levels.” Whatever that meant.

later, and far away—to a raging hurricane.

I tried not to imagine what experiments he
might undertake with that extra power.

A beautiful spring day: mild with a gentle

“I Googled him last night,” Victoria said.

breeze, and all the cherry trees in bloom.

“Any cookies or brownies in the bag of

Birds chirping, dogs yipping, and toddlers
plenty?” I asked.

gleefully shrieking. A picnic lunch in the

“He’s not an ordinary guy.” She wasn’t one
park. Stretched out on the grass, the sun
to be def lected.

warm on my face. Victoria singing softly to

“Is that a ‘no’ on dessert?”

herself.

“He worked on esoteric stuff,” she persist-

I was —the realization took me by sur-
ed, “before he left the university. Relativity.

prise— happy.

Tachyons. Whatever those are. If they even

When I summoned the energy to open my
exist.”

eyes, Victoria’s hair—wind-stirred, glinting in

“Jonas’s work is way over my head,” I said.

the sun—was more pixieish than usual. She

“Why did he leave the university to work
was smiling down at me.

alone in a warehouse?”

“Spinach in my teeth?” I asked. “See, this is

I’d also looked up my boss. His difference
why I don’t believe in vegetables.”

of opinion with the NSF hadn’t made it into

“You can tell yourself that.” She patted my

Wikipedia. I shrugged, the gesture feeling
arm.

just a scooch less like lying than saying that I

We’d had sandwiches and deli salads she’d
didn’t know.

brought from the 7-Eleven, listened through

“Reading between the lines, Peter, there’s
shared earbuds to the newest download on
something f ishy about him. I worry that you
her iPod, kicked around our dinner options,
can’t trust him.”

and debated braving the downtown crowds

I sat up. “He pays me regularly. He treats
over the weekend to take in the Cherry Blos-
me fairly. He gives to charity.”

som Festival. She’d told a charming anecdote

That last item was both true and mislead-
about her two-year-old niece. I’d told lawyer
ing. Jonas had sent me to the local precinct
jokes.

with a check made out to the local branch of

“So . . .” she said.

the Fraternal Order of Police. Thereafter, cop

“Back to the salt mines?” I guessed.

cars came cruising around the warehouse a

“We have a few more minutes. ” She
lot more often.

brushed the hair off my forehead. “When do

I tried not to think of that transaction as

I get to see where you work?”

wealth from the future inf luencing my pre-

A recurring theme. I said, “It’s not as inter-
sent.

esting as where you work.”

“That’s something,” Victoria allowed. She

“Right. Seriously, Peter, what’s the big mys-
started gathering the wrappings and remains
tery?”

of lunch. “Whatever it is your Dr. Gorski

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ANALOG

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does, it seems to be far off the beaten path.

f ifth pass-by. “You see what this means.”

At least that’s how I interpret that his papers

I didn’t till he explained: The time trans-
are seldom cited.”

fers were f inally preserving f ine details, even

So far off the path that I doubted Jonas
microscopic details, down to the molecular
could still see the path. But unless someone
level.

else knew how to build working time ma-

Maybe Jonas got bored; he moved on to
chines, the fault lay with the path. Pioneers
doing something else. The day before he’d as-
like Jonas opened new paths.

sembled his largest transceiver yet, and now

I said, “It is what it is. The boss doesn’t
he fussed with its controls. Calibration of
want anyone brought inside. He pays the
some kind, it looked like. The new transceiv-
rent; he’s entitled.”

er used a metal utility cabinet about the size

“It’s your home, too.”

of a four-drawer f ile cabinet; he’d said it

I’d tried that tack. Jonas told me I was free
should shift up to about one hundred f ifty
to live elsewhere. I shrugged again.

pounds. To conf irm his predictions, he sent

Victoria stood. “Now I do have to get back.

me out for three hundred pounds of dense

Have time to walk with me?”

ballast, shaking his head when I counter-pro-

Jonas would be too preoccupied with
posed that he use weights from his barbell.

watching the Dominion Power crew to no-

Returning from the grocery, lugging in the
tice, or care, if I took a few extra minutes.

f irst of many twenty-f ive-pound bags of rice,

“Lead on,” I said.

I detoured past the cage again. Caramel was

We’d arrived separately: my warehouse,
ramming around the enclosure, or chasing
her 7-Eleven, and the little park were at the
poltergeists. Feeling no pain. Sugar and Spice
corners of an almost equilateral triangle. I’d
were playfully tussling. And Cinnamon—
walked here through a light industrial com-

Was gone.

plex and past a strip mall. Her route took us

Dropping my burden—breaking the plas-
into a quiet residential area of mostly brick
tic sack, sending rice grains f lying every-
bungalows from the Fifties. Huge old trees
where —I dashed into Jonas’s main
dwarfed everything that hadn’t been bull-
workspace. He stood by a workbench, his at-
dozed to make way for McMansions. Every
tention cycling between an empty transceiv-
block had for-sale signs. Grass gone shaggy
er and a clock.

and towering weeds marked long-vacant

“Where is she?” I shouted.

houses.

“Who?” Jonas asked.

How many were foreclosures? I wondered.

“Cinnamon, damn it.”

Which of them had I rubber-stamped?

Jonas frowned. “The guinea pig, you must

My eyes must have lingered, because Vic-
mean. Peter, I told you not see them as pets.”

toria said, “You’re not that guy any more.”

“Where is she?” My stomach sank. “When

She gently squeezed my hand.

is she?”

Fat lot of good remorse did the people I’d

“She should return to us in”—he glanced
denied their due process. But “due process”

again at the clock—”f ifteen minutes.”

was so namby-pamby. People whom I’d

After a very long f ifteen minutes, the trans-
cheated. Hurt.

ceiver beeped. Behind the glass, Cinnamon

“You’re not,” she insisted.

sniffed about curiously, acting none the

Perhaps. But if I wasn’t that guy, then who
worse for her experience.

had I become?

“May I?” I asked.

“If you keep an eye on her.”

Chapter 7

I restored Cinnamon to the cage. Everyone

The day came when the guinea pigs
touched noses and sniffed butts, and then
chowed down on time-shifted lettuce leaves.

went on about their guinea-piggy duties of

Jonas spent an hour afterward just staring
eating, drinking, grooming, and meandering.

into their cage. Waiting to see if anyone

I began to believe the transfer hadn’t harmed
would get sick, I knew. I arranged my morn-
her.

ing chores to keep looking in on the gals.

Freeing me to fret about what experiment

“They’re f ine,” Jonas assured me on my

Jonas had in mind to try next.

162

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* * *

Jonas looked around at stacks of unopened

After dinner and streaming a movie at Vic-
cartons, both tech gear and toys. Looking . . .

toria’s apartment, I came home to f ind the
repentant? “A funny thing.”

warehouse f loor deserted. Only screen

“What’s that?”

savers, clock displays, and a bit of sky glow

“I’m not doing as well as I was with my in-
through the under-eave windows tempered
vestments.”

the darkness. Creeping up the stairs, I saw

“You used up the tips from Future Jonas?”

light under the door to Jonas’s room. Rhyth-

“That’s the thing,” Jonas said. “I haven’t.”

mic clanking said he was hard at work with

“How do you lose money when you know
his weights. He bench-pressed about two
what’s going to happen?” And then it struck
hundred pounds; to vacuum his room I rolled
me. “At least one of the tips hasn’t panned
the barbell from side to side.

out.”

Whether the ghostly lighting inspired me,

Lips pressed thin, he nodded.

or the six-pack Victoria and I had split that

“How is that possible?” I asked.

evening, I had the sudden urge to send my

“I want to believe it was an honest mistake
younger self a note. I’d observed Jonas oper-
transcribing the information for me.”

ating his machines often enough. I turned,

“And if it’s not?”

retreated down two steps—

Jonas shrugged.

And froze. What the hell was I thinking?

I imagined a butterf ly, its wings f luttering.

I could never have back my old life. If a
younger me had received advice from this

As my f inal errand one Friday, Jonas sent
me on the very f irst day Jonas got his f irst
me to retrieve an order of specialty glass. The
prototype to work, it would still have been
largest slabs were a good eight feet long and
too late. I could only create some horrible
three feet wide. Each pane came swaddled in
paradox.

padding and braced beneath with two-by-

Even Jonas was loath to send anything
fours, the corners protected by triangular
back in time.

shields of corrugated cardboard. Through a

And besides, my old life had not included
rip in the padding over one panel, I glimpsed

Victoria.

metal mesh embedded in the glass.

I turned around a second time and went

They weighed a ton. Two husky guys at
up to bed.

the factory loaded them into the truck I’d
rented.

“I should demand a refund,” Jonas grum-

I had to honk twice before Jonas opened
bled.

the loading dock. He shouted, “I imagine you

I was far across the warehouse, slipping
need a hand unloading.”

treats to the guinea pigs. Jonas wasn’t talking

“Yes, please,” I said.

to me. He wasn’t on the phone. That left talk-

“Be careful with these,” he chided, joining
ing to himself.

me. “I’ve waited two weeks for this order.”

“What’s going on?” I called out.

One by one we carried the panels inside.

He tapped one of his instruments. “You

Jonas was old enough to be my father, but by
don’t want to know what this cost. It was a
our second trip I was the one out of breath
special order, extensively modif ied to my
and sweating. Of course he had six inches
specif ications from one of their standard of-
and at least sixty pounds on me.

ferings.”

“Some fools have developed an airborne

I dumped the last of the fruit slivers into
version of H5N1,” he said conversationally.

the cage, then walked over to where Jonas

“Now they published some of how they did
was sitting. “And?”

it.”

“And now that they’ve built one for me, I

Fools do foolish things, I thought. Also,
see it offered in their online catalogue. Priced
that it would be great if Jonas would just
at half what they charged me.”

walk a little faster. “Uh-huh.”

The story of every gadget I’d ever bought.

“Avian flu.” When I still had nothing to say,

“Does it matter?”

Jonas added, “Sixty percent fatality rate

“Well, there’s the principle of the thing.”

among humans, but until this variant the dis-

TIME OUT

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ease has spread only through contact with

Jonas said, “Oh, not everyone betrayed
the feces of infected birds. But now? I’ll bet
me. But neither did they defend me. Whatev-
anyone with the recipe and access to a col-
er their motives, my ‘friends’ poached my
lege biology lab could re-create the manmade
grants, my grad students, and my lab space at
airborne strain.”

the university.

“Sixty percent?” I said. “Jesus.”

“Suppose I did socialize with them. They’d

“Chemical and bioweapons, the poor na-
want to know what I’ve been doing. If they
tion’s WMDs. Only it’s not only countries
learned I’d made a breakthrough, they’d try
anymore. Anthrax-laced letters here in Amer-
to steal my latest work, too.”

ica, 2001. The Aum Shinrikyo cult’s sarin gas

I knew Jonas was brilliant. The man had in-attack in the Tokyo subway, 2007. Once
vented time travel! So how had he alienated
biotech and genetic-engineering tools get
his colleagues? Maybe he’d always been sus-
just a little cheaper and more available, single
picious and secretive. Maybe his incessant
madmen will control weapons of mass de-
doom-saying got to be too much.

struction.”

In the months I’d known Jonas, those ten-

Biting my lip, I didn’t say: not only time
dencies had only gotten worse.

machines.

“Simple solution,” I said. “Don’t talk about

Jonas went on. “And it seems Chinese
work.”

hackers have twice gotten temporary control

“Then they’d gloat, certain—as they all
of U.S. military satellites. How often has that
are—that my theories are f lawed.”

happened and we don’t know? Maybe we’re

“So make new friends,” I said. Or quit
blind to conventional military attack, and
pushing away the one friend you seem to
don’t know it.”

have. “I know a great pub nearby. Nice folks

“You’d be a lot happier if you spent less
who don’t pry.” Had the people there been
time online.” And if you had a life.

nosy, I would never have gone back. “Let’s

“But not as well informed.” With a tip of
you and me go out tomorrow night.”

the head, Jonas indicated where the slab in

“We’ll see.” Which meant no.

our hands was to be set down. “Gently.”

Jonas had cleared an expanse of the main

“Why don’t you have dinner tonight with
f loor while I’d been fetching his glass order. I

Victoria and me? You’ll like her.”

began to see the pattern in where we placed

“You like her, and three’s a crowd.”

the individual panels. As jigsaw puzzles

“How about four?” I asked. “She has an un-
went, this wasn’t much of a challenge. The
attached roommate.”

pieces would f it together to form a booth.

“Who, unless she’s Victoria’s mother, is

A person-sized booth.

half my age. Go. Have fun.” Jonas started

Thinking two weeks, I dropped my end of
back toward the loading dock. “After we f in-
the latest panel.

ish unloading and you return the truck.”

“It slipped,” I said.

I strode after him. “Then take a night off
with your friends.”

Chapter 8

Stony silence.

Why didn’t Jonas show me the door?

“Look,” I said. I didn’t see how I could irri-

Because once before I had held my tongue
tate him more. “The university treated you
to keep my paycheck? Quite likely, and the
shabbily. Or the National Science Foundation
memory made me feel about an inch tall.

did. You can’t hold that against all your for-

Because ex-con that I was, no one would
mer colleagues. They can’t all be bad guys.

take me seriously if I did talk? Some of that,

Some of them even jumpstarted your new
too, I felt sure.

lab with donated equipment.”

Because he had to have human contact

“With castoffs and relics.” Jonas jumped
with someone, and I was too ignorant to re-
into the truck and took hold of the back end
veal his methods? Almost certainly.

of another glass panel. “Guilt offerings. To-

But maybe there was more to him keeping
ken penances for having bad-mouthed me to
me on.

the school and the NSF. Now lift.”

I like to think Jonas also found in me a

I lifted.

voice of common sense. That though he nev-

164

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er admitted to f inding merit in my com-

A police cruiser had sped past me, its ments, he did hear me out. He had not, to my
lights strobing, coming from the direction of
knowledge, risked paradoxes by sending any-
the warehouse. Had Jonas’s donations lured
thing to the past.

patrols away from the 7-Eleven? The bribes I

Oh, I knew that he would. That Future
hand-delivered each month to the precinct?

Jonas had. But the onus for that was on Fu-

What if the gunman in the ski mask had
ture Jonas. Meanwhile, this Jonas worried
robbed the nearby 7-Eleven, not some other
about the implications of the stock tip gone
place, because of Jonas and me? What if oth-bad.

ers would have been terrorized tonight and

An anomaly that terrif ied me.

the experience would have changed their

Whatever his reasons, Jonas did keep me
lives? What if in some alternate holdup,
around. He tolerated my questions and my
somebody would have gotten shot? What
doubts. He shrugged off my “accident” with
if—
the glass panel.

I made myself stop. That way lay madness.

But as he put in an expedited order for a

“Maybe I should spend the night,” I said.

replacement, my fears only grew.

She shook her head, and reached for an-
other tissue.

“It’s okay,” I told Victoria.

“You sure?” I pressed.

Her head against my chest, her tears soak-

“I want a new job. A safe job. And I want
ing my shirt, shivering in my arms, she said,
you to have another job. Something not mys-

“But it mi-might not have . . . have been.”

terious.” She brightened. “Or apply here at

“But it is,” I insisted.

the store. We have openings all the time.”

With a long, shuddering breath, she pulled

Absent Jonas and me, would the police
herself together. “Thanks for coming.”

have come sooner, maybe even been visible

How could I not have come? I gave her a
enough to have deterred the gunman? There
squeeze.

was no way to know. But stocks not behaving

The lightbar f lashed on the police cruiser
as Future Jonas knew they had? That was a
in front of the 7-Eleven. The cop, having f in-
certainty.

ished talking with Victoria and the manager,

God help the universe, in Jonas’s clois-
was scanning footage from the store’s securi-
tered life I was the sole voice of reason.

ty cameras.

“I like my job,” I lied.

“So do you get off the rest of your shift?” I

“Well, I don’t.” In a small voice she added,
meant it as a joke, to lighten the mood.

“Will you walk me home?”

From Victoria’s cringe, she didn’t see the
humor. She wriggled loose. “You know, you

I stayed for a while with Victoria in her
got here almost before the cops.”

apartment. The roommate was out some-

I’d been at the pub just two blocks away
where, her liquor stash unguarded. I mostly
when she’d rung my cell. Once again, Jonas
drank and Victoria mostly vented, and nei-
had declined to join me. “You’re okay, hon.”

ther treatment helped either of us to feel bet-

“I wish.”

ter. Just before midnight, after she dozed off

“But you are okay.”

on the sofa, I covered her with an afghan and

“Quit telling me that, ” she said. “You
let myself out.

weren’t here. You didn’t have a gun in your

I got to the warehouse to f ind Jonas work-
face.”

ing late. He sat at a workbench with his back

Her nose had started to bubble. I handed
to me. Rice sacks stacked like sandbags made
her a tissue from the box on the counter.

a neat low partition by his feet. He’d been

“I’m sorry.”

busy with more than the rice: the glass booth

Victoria blew her nose with a loud honk. I
was assembled. And he’d done it without me.

gave her another tissue and she wiped her

The man was freakishly strong.

face.

Not only had the panels been put together;

She said, “You didn’t rob the store. There’s
the enclosure looked wired. Through the
no reason for you to be sorry.”

glass, I saw a control panel mounted in the

“I know.” But neither did I feel exonerated.

main compartment and a mass of gear in the

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ANALOG

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f loor-level compartment. The fattest power
the closed door I heard the familiar raspy
cable yet stretched across the f loor, not con-
snoring: he hadn’t taken off yet for the fu-
nected at either end. An access panel hung
ture.

open at the foot of the booth.

Or had he gone and returned? My head

Jonas was shouting, his speech slurred.

hurt, and not just from a hangover.

The line of beer bottles in front of him might

I went downstairs. This time I counted the
explain both. I didn’t see anyone else, and
rice bags he had stacked by the booth: ten.

guessed he was on his cell.

Two hundred f ifty pounds. For conf irming

“Screw your advice,” he yelled. “I’m done.

the booth’s ability to transport his weight.

And I’ll get my own tips.”

Jonas weighed, in my best guess, two-ten or

I stumbled into a lab stool, knocking it
two-twenty.

over, and Jonas jerked around at the clatter.

The night before, he had poked at some-

His eyes darted about. He poked at some-
thing after noticing me. I checked the work-
thing in shadow on the shelf beneath the
bench where I’d found him sitting. On its
work surface. “Oh, Peter. I didn’t hear you
bottom shelf sat my old boom box. Through
come in.”

the smoky plastic of the access panel I could

“I’m sorry if I startled you. Who were you
see something in the cassette drive.

talking to?”

I popped out the cassette. The label was

“Myself,” he said belligerently.

hand-lettered, in a spidery style I knew well.

“Well, I’ll leave you two alone then.” I beat

Jonas’s handwriting.

a hasty retreat. My speech was muddled, too.

Talking with himself, Jonas had said. Argu-

“Good night.”

ing was more like it. I carried the boom box

“G’night,” he answered.

and cassette into the kitchen. With the door

The f light of stairs seemed even steeper
closed, the volume turned low, and a sense
and more rickety than usual. The vodka, I
of foreboding, I pushed PLAY.

supposed. I looked with longing toward the

“Hello, Jonas,” a familiar voice said. It was
elevator, but it had been inoperable—its

Jonas, and yet somehow it wasn’t. Too sad.

heavy copper cables stripped by vandals—

Too world-weary. Staticky, too, and in some
before Jonas f irst moved in. He had taken a
strange way distorted. “I know what you
free month on the lease instead of insisting
want to do.” There was a nervous chuckle. “I
on an expensive repair.

am you. Was.

I dragged myself up to the second story.

“Here’s all you need to know: don’t. We

The moon was an ebbing crescent and the
made things worse. You’ll want an explana-
sky overcast; the hallway’s tiny, high win-
tion, and that’s what I don’t dare to offer.

dows only daubed the corridor with gloom.

What’s future must stay future. Anything sent Maybe that impression was the vodka, too.

back can’t fail to impact the timeline.

Kicking off my shoes, I fell into bed with-

“Why send you this? Because I’m one stub-
out bothering to undress.

born son of a bitch. I know you’ll keep at it.

I’m you, and I did.

Chapter 9

“I’m giving you something I didn’t have. A

I woke with a hangover, the vague intu-
gift. A choice. I’m giving you stock tips, win-
ition of a butterf ly dream—and an epiphany.

ning horses, and championship teams. You

I’ll get my own tips. The person-sized time never need work again. You never need ob-machine was complete, and Jonas meant to
sess again. So: Retire. Frolic on a beach. Spare jump forward!

yourself from the misery I’ve endured—and

I tried to remember everything about our
the mess that with the best of intentions I’ve
brief late-night interaction. Jonas talking to
caused.”

himself. His speech had been loud and

“All right, you know,” Jonas said from be-
slurred. But maybe not all of it. When I’d f irst
hind me. “Shut it off.”

come in, before he knew I was there, hadn’t

I pushed STOP and turned toward the door.

some words been clear and distinct?

My thoughts churned. “When?”

Talking to himself, he’d said.

“The cassette came with the f irst smoke

I paused outside his bedroom. Through
detector and the pages of investment tips.”

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He reclaimed his cassette. “If you’re wonder-
that the housing bubble was about to burst.

ing why he used tape”—and I was—“not

How much misery could I have prevented?”

even that f irst, crude prototype could garble

In their hear t of hear ts, who hadn’t
a magnetic recording to the point I wouldn’t
known real-estate prices had become insane?

recognize my own voice. Future me wanted

That it was madness to extend loans without
to contact me as early as he could.”

requiring documentation or proof of income

I started to make coffee, for something to
or down payments? At the bank we had all
do with my hands. They were trembling.

known—as surely as we had known that till

“Why didn’t you listen to him?”

the bubble went pop, every house sold and

“Jonas f ive years from now knows things I
mortgage ref inanced meant prof its, raises,
don’t, but he’s forgotten things, too. He’s for-
and bonuses.

gotten who he was. He’s forgotten what’s im-

“People believe what they choose to be-
portant. If he supposes I have any interest in
lieve,” I said. “The rest, they rationalize.”

frolicking, that I can be bought off, he’s be-

“No, they’ll believe downloads of future
come someone undeserving of my trust.

newspapers. Perhaps not at f irst, but when

“But I can redeem the long years that so
the earliest predictions come true.”

wore him down. I can—no, I will—make a

“Only each disclosure changes the future.

difference.”

You’ve seen it with f irst future Jonas’s stock
tips. What happens to your credibility after a

Jonas spent hours downloading web pages
prediction doesn’t come true?”

onto his smart phone: megabytes each for

Jonas scowled.

every looming threat and ominous trend that

I dared to believe he was listening. “What
had a presence on his corkboards. “For refer-
if there’s no operational booth f ive years
ence,” he said, whether speaking to himself
ahead? He can keep you away with a f lip of a
or to me. “It’s easier to f ind information
power switch.” And God, how I hoped Fu-
while it’s fresh. There are lots of current
ture Jonas would.

events whose evolutions I’ll want to study.”

“It’s more like three years now,” Jonas cor-

“Stay put,” I pleaded. “Listen to yourself.”

rected. “Tempus Fugit. Look, Peter, nothing’s Jonas brandished his phone at me. “I am
special about a particular arrival date. If need
listening to myself. It’s future me whose
be, I’ll go forward a month less, or two
opinion I’m discounting. He has no separa-
months, or to whenever the booth remains
tion from events. He doesn’t know what ad-
in use. To whenever far forward future me re-
vice to offer our time. But I know”—and
tained his nerve.”

once more he waggled his phone —”the

I was losing the argument, and I knew it.

world is running amok. It’s within my power

“But what if that future you is right?”

to change things for the better.

“Then I’ll learn that I can stop worrying.”

“Look, Peter, you needn’t worry. I’ll go for-

Jonas laughed. “Then we can go frolic. Victo-ward and scope out what’s changed. I’ll
ria, too. Because either way, I’ll come back
come back with a fresh perspective. Imagine
with a fresh list of horses to bet on and
a specif ic warning to the FBI before 9/11.

stocks to buy. And I’ll share this batch.”

Three thousand lives saved in a day and the

Victoria and me on a tropical beach? It was

Afghan war averted. Imagine if I could have
tempting. So tempting. And yet . . .

warned that A.Q. Khan was about to start

I’d been taught a hard lesson once about
peddling—”

the perils of looking the other way.

“Who?”

“Whatever a timeline is,” I said desperate-

“Father of the Pakistani nuclear weapons
ly, “we’re screwing with it. Your gains are
program. Imagine a tip to the CIA before
someone else’s losses. What changed when

Khan started peddling his uranium-enrich-
that money isn’t in someone else’s pockets?”

ment technology to North Korea, Iran, and

Or when the cash went into mine? I’d

Libya. As Khan did do. How much safer
known damn well that secrets from the fu-
would everyone be today for that warning?

ture made possible my raise, yet I’d been

“Let me put it in your terms. Suppose I’d
quick to take the money. And because of it
been able to show a few years in advance
approached a caring, funny, beautiful woman

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who maybe, in the universe’s grand scheme,
night. I jumped forward by twenty minutes,

I wasn’t meant to be with. Would I undo us if waved, jumped back two minutes, and

I could?

stepped out of the booth. Two minutes later,

I brushed aside my doubts to keep press-
for a few seconds, two of me waved at each
ing Jonas. “Can’t you already see the ripples?

other.”

A blackout happened, or at least it happened

“When you jumped ahead, waving from in-
when it did, because your windfall allowed
side the booth, did you see your other self
you to speed up your experiments. What, in
waving back?” Because he hadn’t yet gone
turn, might that blackout have caused?

back those two minutes. But two minutes

Maybe a baby or two will come nine months
earlier is two minutes earlier. My head
later?

throbbed.

“And what crimes or traff ic accidents

Jonas grimaced. “You know? I’m not sure.”

came about because the police shifted pa-

“Don’t,” I pleaded again.

trols to watch over this lab? I don’t claim to

In answer, Jonas stepped up into the
know how the future changed, but we do
booth. He shut the door, its latch closing
know your stock tips have gone—”

with a sharp click, tapped the control panel,

“All trivial,” Jonas snapped. “The world is and disappeared.

going to hell. If I don’t act when I can, I’m
letting that happen.”

Chapter 10

Who are you to decide? I wanted to ask. I

For what seemed like forever, I stared at
wanted to scream. “Yet two future yous told
the empty booth. How long would Jonas stay
you to stop.”

in the future, surveilling? A week? A month?

“Maybe not two of me,” Jonas said pen-

I had to laugh at myself. Would I never un-
sively. “The two-years-ahead message might
derstand time travel? It didn’t matter how
preempt the f ive-year-ahead message. Once
long Jonas chose to be away. If he wished, he
looping and branching of the timeline begins
could reappear within seconds.

. . . well, it’s complex. The universe will max-Meanwhile, my head pounded and my
imize its entropy.”

stomach lurched. Food and aspirin might

Loops? Branches? Jonas’s metaphors, if
help both. I’d missed breakfast and maybe
that’s what they were, confused me. But a
lunch, and that made me curious what the
butterf ly f lapping its wings? That metaphor,
time was. Mid-afternoon? I glanced at one of

I understood. The gentle f lutter of wings that
the lab’s many clocks. 3:47 P.M. I started to-
tipped otherwise harmless weather condi-
ward the kitchen.

tions into a f ierce hurricane . . .

Behind me, something beeped.

If I hadn’t dug my stupid boom box out of

I whirled. The booth remained empty. A

Jonas’s junk heap, if I hadn’t unwittingly pro-
second beep sounded, and a third. They rang
vided the clue that his time transporter need-
out from an aisle with Jonas’s earliest proto-
ed a receiver, he might have given up. Except
types, seldom used.

for me, this would not be happening.

The beeps stopped.

I was that damned butterf ly.

Within a transceiver the size of a mi-

I said, “You once asked: If I could, would I
crowave oven, taped to the inside of the
warn the world about Hitler? You as much as
glass of the door, was a sheet of paper.

said that you would. Here’s my question.

In bold red letters, in my own blocky print-

Could the world have stopped Hitler if he
ing, the note screamed: DO NOT OPEN THIS
had had your technology?”

DOOR!

Jonas jerked as though slapped. “Say that

Tiny computer text, illegible from where I
he had. Then it would have been all the more
stood, f illed the bottom third of the page.

important for the good guys also to have the

Between, occupying half the page, was the
tech.”

photo of a man. Blood streamed from his

I had run out of reasons. “Don’t,” I said
nose and eyes, and mottled f lesh was slough-
wearily.

ing off his face.

“I already did, ” he shot back. My jaw

It was Jonas.

dropped, and he laughed. “A f inal test, last

* * *

168

EDWARD M. LERNER

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He had, according to the f ine print, the

If. Maybe. Perhaps.

doomsday plague.

I had dithered once before at a critical

The virus had f irst appeared in 2013.

juncture—ruining my life, and Amy’s, and

Lethal. Incurable. Airborne and extremely
the lives of everyone I’d help push out of
contagious.

their homes.

The toll: four billion dead worldwide, and

Squaring my shoulders, I resolved to act.

counting. Whole cities, even countries, de-
populated. Civilization imploding, while Rad-

Easier said than done.

ical Naturists—fewer of them, too, every

Pushing with all my strength, I couldn’t
day—exulted. A pandemic beyond the reach
budge the booth, much less tip it over. Take
of medical science, until a vaccine was devel-
a f ire axe to it? That seemed workable till I
oped in 2016.

remembered the high-voltage cable. I’d prob-

A curiously strange breakthrough, accord-
ably electrocute myself.

ing to experts. Without the technology that

The circuit breaker!

had made possible the vaccine, it seemed im-

I didn’t f ind one. At the power levels Jonas
possible to have gengineered the plague
used, circuit breakers must look nothing like
virus.

anything I would recognize.

I sat, defeated. If I destroyed the booth this

STOP JONAS, my future self concluded his
instant, what was to stop Jonas from coming
note.

back a second earlier?

Stop him, how? Jonas had invented time

He might pop out at any second, even as I
travel. He had created the technology by
pitted my inadequate, nonscientif ic brain
which, apparently, some madman brought
against his. If he spotted me trying to sabo-
bioengineered pathogens to our defenseless
tage his equipment, he could snap me like a
era.

twig.

Did traces of the virus lurk within this
transceiver? How much had seeped out the

For all my agonizing, scant minutes had
door seal while I gaped, dumbstruck, at the
passed since Jonas had leapt forward.

note? Or was this an early enough transceiv-

Wait! I could go back in the booth! And er that nothing living could cross time still vi-destroy it in the past, before Jonas f irst
able? I didn’t remember, but hopefully future stepped into it.

me had had the records with which to

Except that Jonas, returning, could still
choose wisely.

emerge before me. And do so during the

Somehow I shook off my paralysis. I would
booth’s earliest operational moments, when
send this news farther back. It had stunned
the earlier Jonas had been right there, having
me. A copy would as profoundly shock my
just f inished assembling it. Together they’d
yet earlier self! I, he, would make Jonas see throw me out of the warehouse. Likely in
reason.

pieces.

With the camcorder, through the trans-

Feeling useless and stupid, I began to pace.

ceiver’s glass door, I captured an image of the

And jerked to a halt when my wandering
page. I downloaded the hi-res shot to a com-
brought me to something the size of a four-
puter and started printing copies.

drawer f ile cabinet: the last transceiver Jonas

And stopped.

had built while scaling up to a full-sized

Future me might as easily have sent his
booth.

warning farther back. Maybe he had. I’d

I stared at the cabinet. I crouched next to
taught myself to ignore the incessant beeping
it, considering. In tests, it had transferred a
from Jonas’s tests.

hundred f ifty pounds of rice—that was more

Had Jonas already seen this note? For all I
than I weighed. If I could cram myself inside, knew he’d gotten it and ignored it, just as he

I could travel back as much as several days
had disregarded Future Jonas. Perhaps my
before Jonas completed the person-sized

Jonas had been so determined to go forward
booth. Back earlier than Jonas could reach.

because he meant to f ix matters in his own He weighed too much for this generation of
way.

his device.

TIME OUT

169

WorldMags.net

ANALOG

WorldMags.net

And I’d be stuck inside. Great plan.

copy of the warning. I squirmed out, put a

Still, f iddling with a f ile cabinet seemed
folded copy in my shirt pocket, and wormed
more within the scope of my abilities than
my way back into the cabinet. The screw-
outwitting a physicist genius. I kept schem-
driver tucked in my waistband sliced my
ing.

thigh.

Go back before the booth is done. Stop

I pulled the door closed. Groping behind

Jonas.

my back, I identif ied the ENTER key by feel. I

How?

pressed—

Stacked printouts of future me’s note sat
on a nearby workbench. Accusingly.

I jerked at the f irst shrill beep, right in my Stop Jonas. Stop him for certain.

ear.

I didn’t know how, short of killing him.

The cabinet rocked and nearly toppled.

Could I? I’d need a gun. As a felon just out of

When my heart stopped pounding, I reached
jail, I’d never be able to buy one legally, and I
for the latch, but couldn’t quite reach it.

had no idea how to get a gun illegally.

With elbows pressed into my ribs, I could

But I could never kill anyone, much less a
scarcely breathe.

friend.

If I didn’t get out quickly, would I have any

And so billions must die?

air to breathe?

Victoria among them?

Inch by inch, I worked the screwdriver

I had to go back. I had to convince Jonas. I from my waistband. I managed to f lip the
had to have a plan, beginning with how to
tool blade up without dropping it.

extricate myself from the diminutive time

With a sigh of relief, I forced the latch. I
machine. And fast, before Jonas reappeared.

kept enough of a grip to keep the door from

A swiveling handle secured the cabinet
crashing into anything nearby.

door. I opened the door and saw that the

The lab was well lit.

latching mechanism could be worked from

Smothering a groan, I wiggled out of the
behind. It wouldn’t be easy, wedged into the
cabinet. I slid the screwdriver back into my
cabinet—assuming I could even squeeze my-
waistband to put away later.

self inside. I prodded the back of the mecha-

Jonas stood across the warehouse, inside
nism some more, this time with the flat blade
the chain-link enclosure, his back to the
of a screwdriver, and found forcing it that
open gate. He’d hooked up the power cable
way was easier.

to the distribution frame. The cable’s oppo-

I set the cabinet controls for the wee hours
site end, I was relieved to see, remained
of that morning. I’d arrive before Jonas ever
loose on the f loor near the booth. I was not
connected power to the booth. I’d shove my
quite too late.

future self’s message in Past Jonas’s face and

Now to dissuade him . . .

demand that he stop. Until Past Jonas f in-

My shoes remained hours into the future;
ished the booth, Future Jonas could not re-

Jonas could not have heard me approaching
turn.

on bare feet. Walking through the open gate,

And if Past Jonas instead of listening took a

I called, “Jonas.”

poke at me? As drunk as he had been, at least

He spun around, eyes wide. “Go away,” he

I’d have the quicker ref lexes.

said.

It could work.

“Jonas, it’s important.”

Just like milk and coffee could separate?

“Go away!” He lumbered toward me.

On my knees—legs bent double, ankles

I sidled around him. “Jonas, listen very
twisted inward, bare feet pressing into my
carefully. I’m tomorrow’s me. And more than
ass, in agony from hips to toes—I crammed
that”—I reached for my shirt pocket—“I
myself inside the cabinet. I not only had to
have a message from—”

f it, I needed a free hand behind to push the

He swung wildly at me.

ENTER key. I needed a free hand in front to

I skittered away.

pull the door shut and then to open the

His f ist swept past me and into the power
latch.

distribution frame. From momentum or

Just in time, I remembered I needed a
drunkenness, the rest of him followed.

170

EDWARD M. LERNER

WorldMags.net

JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2013

WorldMags.net

The world f lashed white. I f lew through

More sparks. The stench of burnt electrical the air, thrown by an explosion, or electrical
insulation.

discharge, or colliding with Jonas, and

And Jonas—some Jonas—appeared inside
crashed into the fence.

the booth.

When I could see again, Jonas lay heaped
on the concrete f loor. His body twitched; his

I jumped to my feet, lunging for the booth.

hair was af lame; steam curled from his cloth-

Jonas, facing the controls he had just used,
ing. A stench like acid and charred meat en-
must have seen, through the rear panel—
veloped him.

himself. Lying in an unnatural heap, his arms

Knowing there would be none, I checked
out-f lung, his hair and clothes still smolder-
for a pulse.

ing. Motionless.

A glass vial slipped from Jonas’s hand and

Chapter 11
shattered on the booth f loor.

Dazed, overwhelmed, I f led the enclosure.

Why did Jonas drop it? In shock at what he

In the nearest dark corner I settled to the
had seen? From the impact as I hit the booth
f loor, elbows on knees, head in my hands. I
door? Either. Both. It doesn’t matter.

think I rocked myself.

I jammed my screwdriver through the

At some impossible remove, the uncon-
door’s outer handle, hoping that would keep
nected end of the power cable leapt and
the inner handle from operating the latch.

writhed, sparked and crackled. It hadn’t

Jonas turned and stared at me. And back at
done that before. With that wild punch,
his corpse. And back at me.

Jonas must have struck the circuit breaker

“An accident,” I said. “You electrocuted
and activated the circuit.

yourself.”

Jonas was dead—as if by my own hand—

I held up the copy of future me’s note. I
without having ever jumped to the future.

don’t know how much of it Jonas read. The

Having never gone forward, he would never
picture was probably enough.

come back. Having never quite f inished his

“That was a vaccine sample I dropped,” he
person-sized machine, no one else would
f inally got out.

come back through it.

“Should you go back for another?” I asked.

It was over.

“Or will another trip make things worse?”

But if it were over, would I remember the

Jonas shook his head. “At best the vaccine
events of an aborted future? Nor was it only
prevents catching the disease. It never cures.

my memories. Expensive equipment across

And I . . .”—he shrank inward on himself—
the lab testif ied that some Future Jonas still

“I’m patient zero. If I leave this booth.”

sent back stock tips.

Patient Zero: the person who sets off an

Branches? Loops? Those were Jonas’s
epidemic.

terms. Time — or, at least, messing with

Even from a sample, how long would it
time—must not be anything so simple. To
take to synthesize, mass produce, and dis-
me time had come to seem more of a spiral,
tribute the vaccine? By then, how far and
or perhaps a rollercoaster.

wide would the doomsday plague have

And also sinister.

spread?

Was the line from Twelfth Night? I wasn’t

“Burn it,” Jonas said. His voice f irmed.

certain about the play, but I remembered

“Burn down the damned lab. All of it. Every-

Shakespeare’s text.

thing. My notes. My prototypes. While no

And thus the whirligig of time brings in
one but me understands or knows how to
his revenges.

construct them.”

I’d seen Jonas jump into the future. That I

“But the virus,” I said. “The heat. If the
still had that memor y . . . did it mean he
glass of the booth cracks . . .”

could yet return?

“That won’t be a problem.” Turning his

While I str uggled with paradox and
back on me, he tapped on the control panel.

whirligigs, the end of the writhing high-volt-

He—and any viruses he’d brought with
age line f lapped into the booth’s open access
him—vanished from the booth.

panel.

In a coruscation of sparks, the compart-

TIME OUT

171

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ANALOG

WorldMags.net
ment at the foot of the booth burst into

A squeal caught my ear. The guinea pigs!

f lame.

They were frantic, clawing at the bars of
their cage. I dragged the cage to the closest

Where is Jonas? When is Jonas? Jonases?

door, f lung it open, and released my pets.

Dead, I believe. Any and all of them. Some,

Wind rushing through the opening was
maybe, trapped in timeline limbo. The para-
like the pumping of an enormous bellows.

doxes are far beyond me.

With a whoosh, f ire exploded. I ran inside, I set myself to a task I might achieve:

nearly squashed as f laming rafters rained into

Jonas’s f inal request.

the doorway. The glass wall of the f irst-f loor

I closed the main water valve of the sprin-
off ices shattered. Across the f loor, the wood-
kler system and disabled the f ire alarms. Be-
en stairs had erupted in a f ierce hot blaze.

ginning with Jonas’s lab notebook, found

And from upstairs came a cry for help.

face down on a nearby workbench, I fed pa-
per to the small blaze. Glowing cinders

Chapter 12
swirled in the updrafts.

I was upstairs. The Peter who belonged in

The old warehouse was a tinderbox.

this hour. I had been so focused on when

Decades-dry wood burst into f lame at the

Jonas might appear that I’d never even con-
touch of a spark. Fire raced up the walls, into
sidered another me.

the rafters, across the ceiling. When the main

Upstairs, I, he, was drunk. Confused. And
lighting circuit shorted out, I had plenty of
trapped by an inferno.

f irelight to see by.

The heat was palpable. I couldn’t get with-

With a f ire axe I hacked pallets into kin-
in twenty feet of the stairs. I ran for the ele-
dling. I doused the wood scraps with
vator, and stopped halfway there. It didn’t
kerosene we kept for the space heaters; a
work. I ran back.

tossed kitchen match set the pyre ablaze.

In the upstairs hall, through black, greasy

Into the bonf ire went Jonas’s laptop, iPad,
smoke and the roaring f ire, I glimpsed a
and camcorder—anything that might contain
frightened face. My own.

a digital record. Electronic gear might not

Did he recognize me? I don’t know. “The
burn to ash, but with enough warping and
hall windows!” I screamed.

melting—I had to believe—nothing could be

“Too small!” he shouted back. He glanced
recovered.

over his shoulder. “And the outer wall is

Fire roared. The heat was intense. Smoke
burning.”

and acrid fumes stung my eyes. Jonas’s cork-

I heard sirens, louder by the second. “Fire
boards were ablaze, sending up tongues of
trucks are on their way. Hold on!”

f lame to lick the stairs.

And with my heart in my mouth, I left him.

But my job wasn’t complete until every

There was equipment left to ruin.

transceiver, from the earliest prototype, was

“Help me!” upstairs me screamed.

wrecked beyond recognition. And starting

But I couldn’t help him. I couldn’t help
with that earliest prototype, I was stymied.

myself. Walls of f lame barred the doors and

Jonas had built it in a freaking heavy strong-
the loading dock.

box. I couldn’t begin to move it to my bon-

Something within me whispered, “But you
f ire.

can help yourself.” I had not yet attended to Instead, I carried shovelfuls of f laming em-the cabinet-sized transceiver. Funny how I had
bers to one prototype after another. Around
left its destruction for last. I could once more
the transceiver that held future me’s message
wedge myself inside, jump back a day . . .

I piled the coals twice as high, praying that

More of me, thankfully, recoiled. Upstairs,
the heat would incinerate any plague virus
one Peter was roasting to death. Peter of
within.

some unknowable future had sacrif iced him-

Behind the glass door, Jonas’s mottled im-
self, his long-suffering world, to send me a age burst into f lame. I stood, transf ixed.

warning. For me to sneak away would mean

Only after a tap on the glass crumbled the
leaving this transceiver operational. It might
blackened page into ash and soot could I tear
escape complete destruction in the f lames.

myself away.

If, to play safe, I destroyed this unit yester-

172

EDWARD M. LERNER

WorldMags.net

JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2013

WorldMags.net
day, would I still have it when I needed it to-
got you out.”

morrow?

They. Flat on my back, I counted f ive f ire

I hadn’t forgotten how “random” flailing of
trucks. Crews wielding thick hoses sprayed
the high-voltage line had f lipped the cable
the blaze, and neighboring buildings to
end into the booth’s open access panel. Not
which the f lames looked poised to spread.

to short out and fry the electronics. Not to

Victoria stroked my forehead. “I heard the
make a cascade of sparks, then writhe itself
sirens,” she said. “I . . . I had a bad feeling. I
back out.

followed a f ire truck.”

No: to spot-weld connections, in just the

Over her shoulder, there was an appari-
right places, precisely enough to furnish
tion. I saw—at a second-story hallway win-
power for several minutes. Long enough for
dow, lurid by f irelight—a despairing face. My

Jonas to return, speak with me, and then
face. Just for an instant, then it was gone.

take his contagious self . . . somewhen.

Sad beyond words, I turned away from Vic-

Accident? Coincidence? The odds of that
toria and Peter both.

circuit forming must be beyond astronomi-
cal.

Epilogue

Call it fate or the whirligig of time . . . if hu-

“Dr ink something, ” the cop says. He
man frailty allowed it, something would have nudges a water bottle across the table toward
its revenges.

me.

Choking on smoke and bile, disgusted

I wipe vomit from my face with a sleeve.

with my momentary weakness, I f lipped

The shirt reeks of smoke. I swish out my
open the electronics compartment of this
mouth with a swig of tepid water. There’s
one remaining transceiver. I ripped out its en-
nowhere to spit, so I swallow.

trails and buried them in red-hot coals.

“They recovered two bodies from what’s

My work was done.

left of the warehouse,” the cop says. “We’re

All around, close now, sirens wailed.

talking murder charges, not just arson.”

Flames had penetrated the caged area, and

Past the memory storm, I almost don’t

I gagged on the sickening sweet smell of
hear him. I say nothing.

burning meat. Of Jonas. When a four-foot

“One was a big man, pretty clearly the
spool of power cable, too, caught f ire, the
renter, Dr. Gorski. You hated your boss that
acrid stench of burning insulation was a mer-
much, Bitner? To burn him alive?”

cy.

I didn’t hate Jonas, not that I intended to

With an earsplitting crack, something be-
explain. Not that I will speak at all. Any word
hind the fence, a transformer, perhaps, ex-
out of my mouth would make the next word
ploded.

easier.

I sat in a clear area on the concrete f loor,

This Jonas had died in an instant, but an-
one of the few spots that f laming debris had
other Jonas was dying horribly of doomsday
yet to claim. And waited for the fumes, the
plague. Or would, or will, or already had. I’d
heat, or the collapsing roof to bring matters
seen the photo.

to an end.

A miserable, repentant Jonas.

At the end he had seen that meddling with

I shuddered awake, coughing. Then the
the timeline must stop. I was sure of it. Be-
dry heaves hit me; I tried, and failed, to sit
cause Jonas could have jumped ahead, then
up. I only managed to bat a plastic mask off
sent a note to himself months before now. A
my mouth and nose.

simple note: Fire Peter. He’ll cause trouble.

“Peter!” I heard. “Lay still, honey.”

He hadn’t sent such a note, or I wouldn’t

Victoria. She was kneeling beside me,
be here, now, blamed for his death.

trembling.

Or, there was no future transceiver to

I was on a stretcher near a Rescue Squad
which he could have escaped, because I’d
van, its lightbar strobing. A husky man wear-
destroyed it. Unless curious former col-
ing scrubs nudged her aside and settled the
leagues, inspired to reconsider Jonas’s theo-
mask back on my face. He said, “This is for
ries, should reinvent the technology . . .

oxygen, and you need it. It’s a miracle they

I dare say nothing that might attract their

TIME OUT

173

WorldMags.net

ANALOG

WorldMags.net
attention.

Instead I focus my mind on Jonas, the f lesh

The cop studies my face. “So,” he says,
sliding off his face.

“who was the second guy at the warehouse?

How is it I can remember a future that’s

You might as well give me that. The ME will
been undone? And how undone, when I died
tell us soon enough.”

in the f ire without ever having come down-

Trying to stay expressionless, I take a sip of
stairs to discover an earlier Jonas’s deception
water. And worry that the medical examiner
and plans—
will f ind useable f ingerprints on my other

All of which I do remember, with painful
self. That he’ll f ind my prints.

clarity.

If TV crime shows are to be believed, not

But there’s no use asking how, just as there
even identical twins have identical f inger-
is no one to ask. It must suff ice to know that prints. And anyway, I don’t have a twin. Not
between us, Jonas and I had twisted and
even a brother.

knotted, tangled and raveled the timeline.

I hope: Let the detectives imagine clones.

And, just possibly, we had mended it.

But Jonas was a physicist, not a biologist.

If I can keep it intact.

Would anyone suspect that one of me came

Victoria takes my hand. “If you ever felt
from a different time?

anything for me, you’ll explain.”

I could see nothing to do about that—be-

Four billion dead: an inconceivable num-
yond offering no hints.

ber. An incomprehensible abstraction. Victo-

“Answer, damn it!” the cop shouts, slam-
ria struck down? That’s all too believable,
ming a f ist on the table.

and I cannot bear the idea. And so I peer into

My water bottle jumps, falls over, spurts
space, avoiding her gaze.

out glug-glug-glug into my lap. I keep my re-What will my love think when the body
action to a tic.

from the warehouse— my body—is identi-

They can’t make me talk, I assure myself.

f ied?

They can only send me to jail. Or put me in

Far more diff icult than seeing myself die, I
an institution, if they decide I’m crazy. The
say nothing.

universe has done its worst.

At last Victoria tires of waiting. She stands

Once again, I am wrong.

to leave, shoulders quivering, eyes red and
puffy. As the interrogation room door sighs

“What is it?” Victoria asks, tears streaming closed behind her, I think about what we
down her face. “I know you. I know you
might have had together.

wouldn’t hurt anyone. Why won’t you de-

And of grandfatherless grandsons.

fend yourself ?” And plaintively, “Why won’t

And the f luttering wings of butterf lies.

you talk to me, Peter?”

And the crazily spinning wheel of a

I am mute, above all, for her. I don’t make whirligig.

a sound, though the longing to explain con-
sumes me. I don’t even move, though my
need to hold her is overwhelming.

174

EDWARD M. LERNER

WorldMags.net

WorldMags.net

THE REFERENCE LIBRARY Don Sakers
s long as people have been around,

Thus came about the familiar SF concept of
we’ve told tales of exploration and dis-
the “space drive”—a specific technology that
covery. One imagines a group of Homo
could propel and maneuver vessels into and

A habilis gathered around the fire spin- through space.More often than not,these ning yarns about bold adventurers who dared
technologies were based on the best science
to climb the hills and venture into adjacent val-
of the day.

leys, and the wonders they found there. From

For journeys to the Moon and elsewhere

Pharaoh Necho’s Phoenician sailors to Saint
within the Solar System, rockets were the

Brendan and Marco Polo, real and imaginary
most popular method. In fact, between the
journeys of discovery have long had a hold on
late 1920s and the 1960s, there was a bur-
humanity’s imagination.

geoning subgenre of “first trip to the Moon”

Science fiction is no exception. If there’s
stories, almost all of them based on real-world
one type of story that’s most characteristic of
and theoretical advances in rocketry. Before

SF, it’s the exploration tale. Even before SF was

Apollo, just about ever y SF writer of any thought of as a distinct genre, Verne and Wells
prominence at all penned at least one “trip to
took readers flying to the Moon, voyaging un-
the Moon” tale.

der the sea, hitching rides on comets, and

There were, of course, other ways to get
traveling off to the distant future. In those days
into space and explore the Solar System. Re-
maps of the world still had huge blank spots,
finements of rocketry, such as ion, plasma, or
and readers devoured stories of mysterious is-
fusion drives and laser-assisted launch sys-
lands, lost worlds, and the hidden cities of
tems, were just the tip of the iceberg. Peruse
deepest Africa. In fact, I believe that this
the pages of Astounding/Analog and you’ll
shared spirit of exploration and discovery ex-
find light sails, mass drivers, catapults, gravita-
plains why an earlier generation of SF readers
tional assist, space elevators, and steam pow-
were almost as enamored of Tarzan as of John
er, propulsion by black hole . . . Poul Anderson

Carter, and enjoyed Quartermain’s adventures
even propelled a spaceship with beer!

almost as much as Professor Challenger’s.

Expanding beyond the Solar System, unless

In the fullness of time, as Earthly frontiers
you want to travel by generation ship, more
closed and Hugo Gernsback worked his mag-
exotic methods are necessary. Antigravity and
ic, science fiction established its identity. The

E. E. “Doc” Smith’s reactionless drive are
writers of this new genre worked their will on
handy, but SF voyagers have also used Bussard
the “exploration and discovery” story, giving
ramjets, antimatter propulsion, cosmic worm-
it a particularly science-fictional twist.

holes, and transmission via radio waves. Then

This twist was simple: in science fiction, we
of course, there are nearly infinite varieties of
don’t just care what happens to voyagers on
faster-than-light gimmicks, ranging from vari-
their journey—we also care how they get
ous warp drives to hyperspace shortcuts to
there. Taking a cue from Verne and Wells, a technologically produced stargates. Some real-science fiction journey of discovery attempts
ly advanced species can move their minds
to create a plausible technology for getting to
through space without the need for technolo-
new, exciting destinations.

gy at all.

THE REFERENCE LIBRARY

175

WorldMags.net

ANALOG

WorldMags.net

(Want a fun parlor game? Try to name at
ergy sails.

least six stories that use each one of the gim-

The roster of SF writers is equally impres-
micks above.)

sive, including such familiar names as Michael

Even when space drives have little (if any)

Bishop, Ben Bova, Sarah A. Hoyt, Jack McDe-
justification in current science, rigorous sci-
vitt, and Mike Resnick, as well as relative new-
ence fiction demands that they operate in a
comers Dr. Charles E. Gannon, Les Johnson
believably rational fashion, according to self-
himself, and Louise Marley.

consistent rules that the author imposes. We

All of the stories are enjoyable. I found both
don’t have to know how to build Captain

Bova’s “A Country for Old Men” and Gannon’s

Presto Whizbang’s magneto-gravitic stardrive,

“Lesser Beings” to be a particularly interesting
but we do need to know that it behaves like pairing: two very dissimilar stories of individ-technology, with consistent limitations and
ual crewmen pitted against much more pow-
abilities. We need to be confident that when
erful opponents. Bishop’s “Twenty Lights to

Whizbang’s ship is surrounded by space pi-

‘The Land of Snow’” is a deliciously different
rates in Chapter 16, he won’t get away by
story of an unusual journey set in a decidedly
pressing the previously unmentioned magical
unusual culture (the subtitle is “Excerpts from

“Teleport To Earth” button.

the Computer Logs of Our Reluctant Dalai

Of course, all this focus on the technology

Lama”).

behind the journey doesn’t make a story. SF

Last century there was quite a vogue in SF
writers still have to provide all the age-old ele-
for “theme” anthologies, in which a number
ments of an exploration tale: wonder, excite-
of different authors wrote stories inspired by a
ment, adventure, suspense, character, mean-
specific idea. For a while I was afraid that my
ing. It’s just that science fiction, as with so
own effort, 1990’s Carmen Miranda’s Ghost
many things, adds a special extra dimension to
is Haunting Space Station Three, had killed the story.

them off, but fortunately they survived. The
really fun thing about these theme anthologies

Going Interstellar
is seeing how writers, starting at the same
edited by Les Johnson and Jack McDevitt
point, go off in their own different directions.

Baen, 416 pages, $7.99 (paperback)

Going Interstellar is an excellent example.

Baen E-books: $6.00 (e-book)

ISBN: 978-1-4516-3778-6

Blue Remembered Earth

Genre: Original Anthology

Alastair Reynolds

Ace, 512 pages, $26.95 (hardcover)

Exploration and discovery are alive and well
iBooks, Kindle, Nook: $12.99 (e-book)

in current science fiction. Jack McDevitt, a

ISBN: 978-0-441-02071-3

Nebula winner who needs no introduction in

Series: Poseidon’s Children 1
these pages, joins with Les Johnson, Deputy

Genre: Hard Science Fiction, Space Opera

Manager of NASA’s Advanced Concepts Of-
fice, to bring us eight short stories and four

You might be familiar with Alastair
nonfiction articles, all based on the best cur-

Reynolds from his Revelation Space series:

rent physics ideas for travel between the stars.

five big novels and a number of smaller works

Analog readers will feel particularly comfort-that elevate space opera to the status of myth.

able in this volume.

A typical Reynolds book is a giant-size story

First, the nonfiction. Dr. Gregory Matloff, a
with multiple characters and plotlines, full of
retired astronomy professor with a list of cre-
nanotechnology and transhumans and dozens
dentials that itself stretches halfway to the
of alien races, all set against a background of

Moon, discusses antimatter starships in one
cosmic conflicts that take place across billions
article and fusion drives in another. Dr.

of years.

Richard Obousy describes a proposal called

Blue Remembered Earth is the first book in Project Icarus, a real-world design study for
a new series set in a different universe. The se-
an interstellar spaceship. Finally, Les Johnson
ries promises to follow one human family
gives the lowdown on solar and beamed en-
through generations and millennia as the race

176

DON SAKERS

WorldMags.net

JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2013

WorldMags.net
spreads through the stars—and even though

Hugo-nominated stories, along with some ex-this one starts out fairly close to home, you
tras, in one attractive volume.

can expect the full Reynolds experience be-

Most of these stories appeared in our sister
fore long.

magazine, Asimov’s. They range from drama

In 2160, the human race has spread
to humor, long to short, future to past, hard
through the Solar System and things are fairly
science fiction to magical realism. Here you’ll
peaceful. On Earth, the two major technologi-
find the best of the Kirinyaga series: set on a
cal and economic powers are Africa and the
terraformed asteroid inhabited by transplant-

United Aquatic Nations, a group of ocean-
ed Kenyan natives trying the best they can to
dwelling transhumans.

hold onto their society and traditions in a fast-

Geoffrey and Sunday Akinya are siblings,
changing technological world. “The 43
scions of one of Africa’s leading corporate

Antarean Dynasties” is an understated fable
families. Their grandmother, Eunice, is a leg-
that should resonate with everyone who trav-
endary explorer and business powerhouse.

els to a foreign culture. “The Bride of Franken-

Geoffrey in particular wants nothing to do
stein” takes a new look at a familiar monster.

with the family business—he’s happier study-

Well, you don’t need me to give capsule re-
ing migration of elephants.

views of each story. They’re all good—among

Then Eunice dies, and Geoffrey and Sunday
the best work in science fiction over the last
are off to the Moon to investigate and do dam-
twenty years. Each story has a brief introduc-
age control. They find that Eunice had made
tion by Resnick himself, along with an appre-
some sort of monumental discovery; across
ciation by a cross-section of SF writers and ed-
the Solar System she left a string of clues and
itors ranging form Lou Anders to Connie
coded messages. So now they have to find the

Willis (and everyone in between). The cover,
secret, all the while ducking the attention of
by the legendary Vincent di Fate, brings to-

Earth’s AI surveillance system.

gether elements from many different stories.

There’s genetic engineering, human aug-

Haven’t read Resnick before? This is a great
mentation of various types, vastly extended
place to start. Already a Resnick fan? You want
lifespans, and high-concept technology all
this book. Know someone who loves Resnick,
over the place. Poor Geoffrey is a thoroughly
or likes good stories, or doesn’t believe SF can
likable character caught in the power of some-
be meaningful and relevant? Give them a
thing that’s far bigger than he is. And in true
copy.

Reynolds fashion, the focus keeps expanding
through time and space as the book progress-

The Sum of Her Parts
es.

Alan Dean Foster

If you like big, meaty books that make you

Del Rey, 278 pages, $15.00 (trade paperback)

think—and if you want to get in on the
iBooks, Kindle, Nook: $9.99 (e-book)

ground floor of the next Alastair Reynolds se-

ISBN: 978-0-345-51202-4
ries—this is the book for you.

Series: Tipping Point 3

Genre: Adventure SF, Biological SF, Man & Ma-

Win Some, Lose Some
chine

Mike Resnick

ISFiC Press, 648 pages, $35.00 (hardcover)

After all this heavy reading, perhaps you

ISBN: 978-0-9857989-0-1
want something light and quick. Never fear,

Genre: Short Fiction Collection

Alan Dean Foster’s here.

You might remember Dr. Ingrid Seastrom,

Mike Resnick is one of science fiction’s
brilliant biologist, and her companion Whispr,
most honored authors. To date he’s won five
rogue rendered a living shadow by genetic en-

Hugo Awards, with thirty of his short stories
gineers, from the first two books in this series,
being Hugo nominees. Last August he was

The Human Blend and Body, Inc. In this Guest of Honor at the Chicago Worldcon. In
brave new world of genetic manipulation and
celebration of this remarkable career, ISFiC
nanotech augmentation, Ingrid and Whispr

Press has put together all thirty of Resnick’s
are on the run. They possess a data thread that

THE REFERENCE LIBRARY

177

WorldMags.net

ANALOG

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bears information important enough for pow-
all that momentous. Yet Heinlein’s status in
erful multinational biotech corporations to be
science fiction, along with the fact that all but
after their lives.

one of the stories in question appeared in As-

In particular, they’re hunted by a brute
tounding, makes the question of minor inter-called Molé, an enhanced killer who’s deter-
est to Analog readers. And that’s all Wysocki mined to get to them first. In the course of the
needs to tell a fascinating story.

first two books Ingrid and Whispr have man-

With no formal training in military technol-
aged to escape Molé and stay a step ahead of
ogy, no budget to speak of, and no legal pow-
the forces tailing them. Now they’ve come to
ers of investigation, Wysocki had to rely on
the end of the line: South Africa’s Namib
published works, publicly accessible docu-

Desert, and a highly secure research facility
ments, and the memories of the few aging
that holds the answers they seek.

contemporaries still alive. At first, Wysocki

First, they have to survive the bioengi-
had little to work with, but over the years the
neered dangers of the desert. Then it’s a sim-
explosion of information available on the In-
ple matter of getting past the guards, taking
ternet turned out to be his biggest resource.

over the lab, and figuring out what it all

He was able, for example, to track the careers
means—before a frustrated Molé catches up
and movements of Heinlein’s Naval Academy
with them and starts dealing mayhem.

classmates, enough so even to deduce when

A jolly fun adventure, Ingrid and Whispr
and where particular undocumented conver-
make a great pair, resourceful and totally sym-
sations took place.

pathetic—you’ll be rooting for them to survive

The story is fascinating from beginning to
their great adventure. And the payoff is defi-
end. After listing all possible alternatives from
nitely worth it.

Heinlein’s stories, Wysocki analyzes naval
technology of the time, providing a look at the

The Great Heinlein Mystery
details of radio and radar engineering that so

Edward M. Wysocki, Jr.

engrossed SF readers and writers of the peri-

CreateSpace, 289 pages, $24.95
od. Along the way, we meet other SF writers,

(trade paperback)

and learn, for example, what L. Sprague de-

ISBN: 978-1-47741-020-2

Camp had to do with the evolution of the

Genre: Nonfiction
space suit.

The Great Heinlein Mystery is hardly world-

Great Heinlein Mystery? What’s that all
shaking stuff. When Wysocki reveals his an-
about?

swer (for which he presents good arguments),

In 1941, Robert A. Heinlein wrote a letter to
one feels a vague sense of letdown—not be-

John W. Campbell, Jr. in which he mentioned
cause of the answer, but because the book is
that a device in one of his stories had inspired
over.

a real-life device used by the Navy in World

In this case, as so often with tales of explo-

War II (and possibly later). Heinlein said he
ration and discovery, the real fun is in the jour-
couldn’t reveal the nature of the device, be-
ney, not the destination.

cause it was classified. In a 1955 lecture, Hein-

That’s it for this time around. Until next
lein repeated his claim, along with the state-
time, happy exploring!

ment that the device was still classified so he
couldn’t reveal its nature.

On the basis of these clues, Edward M.

Don Sakers is the author of Dance for the

Wysocki, Jr.—a normal science fiction reader

Ivory Madonna and A Rose From Old Terra.

of no real distinction—set out in the 1990s to

For more information, visit www.scattered-
identify the real-life military contraption that
worlds.com.

Heinlein had inspired.

As great mysteries go, this one doesn’t seem

178

DON SAKERS

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BRASS TACKS
ear Sir:

I’ve been a constant reader since 1939, first

I was going to respond to the editori-
reading Dad’s copies of Astounding and then al on policy and procedure implemen-my own.

Dtation programs from the recipient’s

Best regards,
perspective, but did not get around to writing

William F. Steagall, Sr.

even though there is a defense for those
caught implementing said policy/procedure

Dear Stan,

(you get fired for violating the sacred

I have noticed over the years that many
policy/procedure even if such does not make
readers sending letters “to the editor” start out
sense in certain circumstances). This time, I
by writing that they have been reading As-
am writing on your excellent reflection on
tounding/Analog since the late 1940s but
words and their uses. [“Newfangling Words,”

have never had the occasion to write and

October 2012] When I was working on my li-
comment, criticize, praise, or any other com-
brary science graduate degree in the late ’60s,
munication until now.

we were introduced to the “mainframe” com-

Well, as you may guess, I am one of those
puter (a CDC 6300) and the use of key punch
persons. In the process of enjoying the maga-
cards. From that time, we went to dumb ter-
zine and the editorials of Campbell thru
minals and onward to what is available today.

Schmidt, I have accumulated a practically un-

The entire data/information storage and re-
broken collection of all of the issues since
trieval operation stayed essentially the same,

1950. Having now reached the age of 87 and
but the tools changed and the need for a cen-
the realization that I will not be able to contin-
tral storage and staff assistance diminished.

ue rereading and enjoying the old stories for-

I also agree with you that the new “e-world”

ever, I am going to put them in order, pack
could go away in one good EMP, but the hard
them into boxes, and try to find someone
copy would remain.

who would love them as much as I have. I

Thank you for your time.

have no idea how to find the right person but

C. Henry Depew

I suspect that the internet will serve the pur-

Tallahassee, FL
pose.

The magazine has indeed provided a rare

PS: Mr. Michael Flynn did an excellent “lost
pleasure over the years.

colony” story. [in “The Journeyman: on the

Robert M. Barto, Jr.

Short-Grass Prairie,” October 2012] All the

Palm Beach Gardens, FL
pieces matched nicely.

Dear Dr. Schmidt,

Dear Editor,

Your November editorial [“Academic Li-

I’ve just read your current editorial [“New-
cense”] is another fine example of your (and
fangling Words,” October 2012] and must ask
over the years, Analog’s) fundamental sanity.

if you overlooked why a penknife has that

In the continuing tug-of-war between science
name? It is, of course, because such a knife is
and religion, while you publish fiction, you
used to cut and shape a quill into a pen.

still do your best to distinguish it from fact.

BRASS TACKS

179

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ANALOG

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Surely the motive behind Tennessee’s new
selves off as scientists, while promulgating the
academic “freedom” law is not what it claims.

most anti-scientific of views. In our democra-

In fact, True Believers of both religious and
cy, they are free to do so, but genuine science
political persuasions, often themselves indis-
and scientists, constrained by observable evi-
tinguishable, have long loved to hoist those
dence, are not equally free to take them seri-
liberal scientists, who approach the Universe
ously.

with an open, questioning mind, on their own

In matters of freedom, it’s always a question
petard: that of free inquiry. If inquiry is truly
of whose freedom is at stake to do what. Of-
free, they say, my opinion should receive the
ten your freedom is my loss. If you are “free”

same airing as yours . . . and once said, their
to pretend to be a scientist in my child’s class-
advantage is immediate. It’s very hard for the
room, my child’s education is being short-
open—and fair-minded to say “no,” when
changed. If truth were truly our mutual intent,

“freedom” is remotely involved.

you should not be “free” to do that.

In the urge to maintain a “fair” democracy,

Maybe a thought experiment is in order:

though, where everyone has a right to his

Now that Tennessee’s new law is on the
opinion, nature’s natural hierarchy is often
books, as a teacher in that state, could I call on
shunted aside. Some statements are simply
the same academic “freedom” to point out
more true than others because they better fit
where Karl Marx was obviously and observ-
the observable evidence, and it is that uncom-
ably correct (economics and sociology are not
fortable fact that is both the bedrock of sci-
simply matters of opinion) as I could to deny
ence and the cause of the tension between it
or undermine the evidence underlying evolu-
and True Belief.

tion and climate science?

As you point out, the Believers have lately

I think we know the answer.

done an impressive job of colonizing science’s

Ken Winkes
territory. Using scientific-sounding language

Conway, Washington
to disguise their true intent, they pass them-

An idea is not responsible for the people who believe in it.

—Don Marquis

The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance, but the illusion of knowledge.

—Daniel Boorstin

180

BRASS TACKS

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2012 Index

Here is the Index to 2012, Analog’s Volume CXXXII. Entries are arrang ed alphabetically by author, with month and page. When the author’s name and/or part of the entry’s title is omitted, it is the same as that of the previous entry. Multiple entries by the same author are listed alphabetically according to the story/article title. Collaborations are listed under all authors with cross references. Unless otherwise noted, each entry is identified as an Alternate View (av), editorial (ed), fact article (fa), guest editorial (ge), novella (na), novelette (nt), poem (pm), Probability Zero (pz), serial (se), special feature (sf), or short story (ss).

Aiken, Brad

A Reasonable Expectation

Done That, Never
of Privacy (ss) . . . . . . . . . .June

76

Been There (nt) . . . . . . . . . .Sept

8

Chase, Robert R.

Alexander, Michael

Pictures at an

The Fine Print (ss) . . . . . . . . .June

61

Exhibition (ss) . . . . . . . . . . .Nov

58

Deer in the Garden (ss) . . . . .Oct

41

Chilson, Rob

Alexander, Michael (with K.C. Ball)

The Conquest of the

The Moon Belongs

Air (na) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .July/Aug 152
to Everyone (na) . . . . . . . . .Dec

8

Cramer, John G.

Andersen, Liz J., D.V.M.

“Mu Neutrinos as

Scary Monsters (ss) . . . . . . . .Dec

78

Tachyons?” (av) . . . . . . . . . .March

50

Anderson, Kevin J.

“Shooting Wormholes to

A Delicate Balance (ss) . . . . .April

30
the Stars” (av) . . . . . . . . . .May

65

Andrews, Sr., Arlan

“Another Look at FTL

SIGMA: Summing Up

Neutrinos and

Speculation (fa) . . . . . . . . .Sept

38

Wormholes” (av) . . . . . . . . .July/Aug 89

“The Start and Finish

Ball, K.C. (with Michael Alexander)

of the Universe” (av) . . . . . .Oct

57

The Moon Belongs

“Introducing the
to Everyone (na) . . . . . . . . .Dec

8

Higgs Boson” (av) . . . . . . . .Dec

62

Baxter, Stephen

Project Herakles (na) . . . . . . .Jan/Feb 120

DeLancey, Craig

Bohnhoff, Maya Kaathryn

The Ediacarian Machine (nt) . .March

8

Garden Spot (ss) . . . . . . . . . .Dec

68

Ecce Signum (nt) . . . . . . . . . .April

36

Bova, Ben

Flynn, Michael F.

Sam Below Par (nt) . . . . . . . .July/Aug 58

Return of the Zombie

Burns, Stephen L.

Sea Monster (pz) . . . . . . . .Jan/Feb

73

Follow-Up (ss) . . . . . . . . . . . .April

60

Elmira, 1895 (nt) . . . . . . . . . .Sept

44

Hearing Impairment (ss) . . . . .Dec

55

The Journeyman: On the

Short-Grass Prairie (nt) . . . .Oct

88

Canfield, Tracy

Forest, Susan

But It Won’t Set

The Most Invasive

You Free (ss) . . . . . . . . . . .May

47

Species (nt) . . . . . . . . . . . .April

8

Carlson, Paul

Rent in Space (nt) . . . . . . . . .Sept

71

Crooks (nt) . . . . . . . . . . . . . .June

8

Frederick, Carl

Silent Mode (nt) . . . . . . . . . . .Dec

84

Food Chained (nt) . . . . . . . . .June

86

Castle, Sarah K.

Zeitgeist, Inc. (ss) . . . . . . . . .July/Aug 118

The Mutant Stag at

Mythunderstanding (ss) . . . . .Sept

84

Horn Creek (nt) . . . . . . . . . .July/Aug 72

Reboots and Saddles (ss) . . .Oct

46

The Information in
a Dream (nt) . . . . . . . . . . . .Nov

40

Gleason, William

Cedeño, N. M.

’Twas the Flight Before

182

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JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2012

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Christmas (pm) . . . . . . . . . .Dec

43

———: Jay Werkheiser . . . . .Oct

104

Gleason, William (with Richard A. Lovett)

———: Sarah K. Castle . . . .Nov

52

Nightfall on the Peak

———: Paul Carlson . . . . . . .Dec

65
of Eternal Light (na) . . . . . .July/Aug 10

Guest Alternative View . . . . . .Nov

54

Gribbin, John

Mother’s Tattoos (ss) . . . . . . .March

32

Is the Moon a

Planets (Oops, Planetoids)

Babble Fish? (fa) . . . . . . . . .June

27

X, Y, Z, and W: What the

Gunn, James

Kuiper Belt Teaches

A Reference Library

About the Dawn of

Supplement: Fantasy
the Solar System (fa) . . . . .April

22

Commentator, the

Fluffy Impact: What

Campbell Letters . . . . . . . .April

106

LCROSS Found When

It Hit the Moon (fa) . . . . . . .July/Aug 44

Hatch, Daniel

Real Talk: The Fine Art of

The End of Ordinary

Writing Dialog (sf) . . . . . . . .July/Aug 50

Life (na) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .May

8

Tech Support (ss) . . . . . . . . .Nov

64

Siege Perilous (nt) . . . . . . . . .Nov

84

The Day the Sun

Hendrix, Howard V.

Exploded (fa) . . . . . . . . . . .Nov

21

Red Rover, Red Rover (ss) . . .July/Aug 109

Cats Know (ss) . . . . . . . . . . .Dec

71

Lovett, Richard A. (with William Gleason)

Jensen, Patty

Nightfall on the Peak of

Survival in Shades of

Eternal Light (na) . . . . . . . .July/Aug 10

Orange (ss) . . . . . . . . . . . .Nov

72

Lundy, Robert T.

From Nostradamus to

Kirkland, Kyle

Alan Greenspan (pm) . . . . . .July/Aug 99

Upon Their Backs (nt) . . . . . .March

54

Kling, Jim

Mah, Emily

The Seeds of Cancer (fa) . . . .Dec

36

Darwin’s Gambit (ss) . . . . . . .June

66

Kooistra, Jeffery D.

Mayer, Alastair (with Brad R. Torgersen)

“Talking About My

Strobe Effect (nt) . . . . . . . . . .Nov

28

Generation” (av) . . . . . . . . .Jan/Feb

75

McDermott, Edward

“The Chink in Einstein’s

Nothing But Vacuum (ss) . . . .Oct

60

Armor” (av) . . . . . . . . . . . .April

49

McDevitt, Jack

“Odds and Ends #5” (av) . . . .June

58

Listen Up, Nitwits (ss) . . . . . .Jan/Feb

64

“The Alternative View Goes

McMullen, Sean
to the Movies” (av) . . . . . . .Sept

68

Ninety Thousand

Horses (nt) . . . . . . . . . . . . .Jan/Feb

98

Lerner, Edward M.

Melott, Adrian L.

Faster than a Speeding

The Earth Dies Screaming:

Photon (fa) . . . . . . . . . . . . .Jan/Feb

46

Radiation Threats

Lewis, Anthony

From Beyond (fa) . . . . . . . .March

25

Upcoming Events . . . . . . . . .Jan/Feb 192

——— . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .March

112

Nagata, Linda

——— . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .April

112

Nahiku West (nt) . . . . . . . . . .Oct

74

——— . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .May

112

Nevala-Lee, Alec

——— . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .June

112

Ernesto (ss) . . . . . . . . . . . . .March

42

——— . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .July/Aug 192

The Voices (nt) . . . . . . . . . . .Sept

56

——— . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Sept

112

Niemann-Ross, Mark

——— . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Oct

112

Humanity by Proxy (nt) . . . . . .Jan/Feb

82

——— . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Nov

112

Niven, Larry

——— . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Dec

112

The Man in the

Liu, Ken

Pink Shirt (pz) . . . . . . . . . . .Nov

83

The Perfect Book (ss) . . . . . .Dec

66

Lovett, Richard A.

Oltion, Jerry

Theme: The Art of Writing

What Science Means

“About” Something (sf) . . . .Jan/Feb 115
to Me (sf) . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Jan/Feb

78

Biolog: Sean McMullen . . . . . .Jan/Feb

97

You Say You Want a

———: Alec Nevala-Lee . . . . March

41

Revolution (ss) . . . . . . . . . .April

54

———: Howard V. Hendrix . .July/Aug 117

An Ounce of Prevention (ss) . .June

51

INDEX

183

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ANALOG

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The Long View (ss) . . . . . . . .Sept

96

“VIP” (ed) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .June

4

“The City ‘Solution’” (ed) . . . . .July/Aug

4

Pitkin, Joe

“Is Learning Obsolete?” (ed) . .Sept

4

A Murmuration of

“Newfangling Words” (ed) . . . .Oct

4

Starlings (ss) . . . . . . . . . . .June

42

“Academic License” (ed) . . . .Nov

4

Plummer, Alan

“Enough Evidence” (ed) . . . . .Dec

4

Atlas’ Apprentices: Amateur

Shaffer, Catherine

Contributions in Astronomy

An Interstellar Incident (ss) . . .Jan/Feb

56
and Astrophysics (fa) . . . . .Oct

24

Titanium Soul (ss) . . . . . . . . .June

33

The North Revena Ladies

Rinehart, Gray

Literary Society (ss) . . . . . .July/Aug 100

The Song of Uullioll (ss) . . . . . July/Aug 94

Stone, Eric James

Seagulls, Jack-O-Lanterns,

To Serve Aliens
and Interstitial Spaces (nt) . .Nov

8

(Yes, It’s a Cookbook) (pz) . .April

52

Lobstersaurus (ss) . . . . . . . . .May

56

Sakers, Don

Stratmann, H. G.

The Reference Library . . . . . .Jan/Feb 181

Space Weather: The

——— . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .March

105

Latest Forecast (fa) . . . . . .May

35

——— . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .April

102

To Save Man (nt) . . . . . . . . . .July/Aug 130

——— . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .May

104

——— . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .June

102

Torgersen, Brad R. (with Alastair Mayer)

——— . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .July/Aug 184

Strobe Effect (nt) . . . . . . . . . .Nov

28

——— . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Sept

104

Tourtellotte, Shane

——— . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Oct

105

From an Antique Land (nt) . . .Dec

44

——— . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Nov

104

Turtledove, Harry

——— . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Dec

104

Donner Summit (pz) . . . . . . . .July/Aug 92

Sawyer, Robert J.

Triggers, pt I of IV (se) . . . . . .Jan/Feb

8

Utley, Steven

Triggers, pt II of IV (se) . . . . . .March

71

The End in Eden (ss) . . . . . . .Oct

66

Triggers, pt III of IV (se) . . . . .April

68

Triggers, pt IV of IV (se) . . . . .May

68

Vajra, Rajnar

Schmidt, Stanley

Doctor Alien and the

“Outliers, Evil Spirits, and

Spindles of Infinity (na) . . . .Jan/Feb 147

Perspective” (ed) . . . . . . . .Jan/Feb

4

“What's Technology For?”

Wade, Juliette

(ed) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .March

4

The Liars (nt) . . . . . . . . . . . . .Oct

8

“Policy” (ed) . . . . . . . . . . . . .April

4

Werkheiser, Jay

“Scientific Methods” (ed) . . . .May

4

Ambidextrose (ss) . . . . . . . . .Oct

32

184

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TIME AGAIN

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Welcome to the year 2013! As usual, we’re asking you to choose your favorites via the Analytical Laboratory.

Not only will your votes provide tangible awards for authors and artists, but your feedback will help guide the selections we offer you in the future. Your vote is important!

Look over all your copies of Analog dated 2012, or refer to the index on the following pages. Pick your three favorites in each of the following categories: novella, novelette, short story, science fact article, and cover. If you’re not sure about a piece’s category, you’ll find it listed both in the Table of Contents for the issue in which it appeared, and in the Index. In the event of a disagreement between the Table of Contents and the Index, the Index should be considered correct. List your choices in order of preference (your favorite in each category is #1) on the ballot below, and either mail it in or send it by e-mail. You can also vote at our website, www.analogsf.com. The ballot is intended to make it easier for you to vote, but if you don’t want to cut it out, feel free to copy it.

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UPCOMING EVENTS Anthony Lewis NOTE: Membership rates often change after

Honor: Darrell K. Sweet; Fan Guest of Honor:

we have gone to press. Check the websites for

Willie Siros; TM: Paul Cornell; Special Guests:

the most recent information.

Leslie Fish & Joe R. Lansdale. Membership: un-
til 30 June 2012. Attending $160 (adult), $110

15–17 March 2013

(young adult 17-21), $75 child (to 16), family

LUNACON 2013 (New York City area SF con-

$440; supporting $60. This is the SF universe’s
ference) at the Westchester Hilton (aka Hilton
annual get-together. Professionals and readers

Rye Town). Special Guest: Leslie Fish. Other
from all over the world will be in attendance.

guests and rates to be announced; see the web

Talks, panels, films, fancy dress competition—
site for details. Info: www.lunacon.org;
the works. Nominate and vote for the Hugos.

info@lunacon.org; Lunacon 2013, PO Box
lonestarcon3.org; info@lonestarcon3.org; PO

432, Throggs Neck Station, Bronx, NY 10465.

Box 27277, Austin, TX 78755-2277.

22–24 March 2013

31 October–3 November 2013

ICON 32 (Long Island SF conference). See the

WORLD FANTASY CONVENTION at The
website for developing details. Info: iconsf.org; Hilton Brighton Metropole, Brighton, England

Box 550, Stony Brook, NY 11790.

Themes: World Fantasy Convention: The Next

Generation and Arthur Machen @150. Guests

29–31 March 2013
of Honour: Richard Matheson & Richard Chris-

MARCON 48 (Central Ohio SF conference) at
tian Matheson; Artist Guest of Honour: Alan

Hyatt Regency Columbus. Grandmaster Guest

Lee; Special Guests: Brian Aldiss & Tessa
of Honor: Joe Haldeman; Filk/Music Guests of

Farmer; MC: China Miéville. Membership:

Honor: ToyBoat; Special Guest: F. Paul Wilson;

GBP100 attending, GBP50 supporting. Info:

Gaming Guest of Honor: Jeff Dee. Member-
www.wfc2013.org; info@wfc2013.org; World ship (adult 13+/children to 12 years): $50/$25

Fantasy Convention 2013 c/o 130 Park View,
until 10 March 2013, $60/$30 thereafter. Info:

Wembley, Middx HA9 6JU, England.

www.marcon.org; Marcon, PO Box 141414,

Columbus OH 43214.

Running a convention? If your convention

29–31 March 2013
has a telephone or fax number, e-mail ad-

MINICON 48 (Twin Cities area SF conference)

dress, or web page, please let us know so that
at Double Tree, Bloomington, MN. Author
we can publish this information.We must

Guest of Honor: Julie Czerneda; Fan Guest of
have your information in hand SIX months

Honor: Richard Tatge. Membership: adult $40,
before the date of your convention.

student (13-20): $20, kid (6-12): $10, support-
ing: $15. Info: mnstf.org/minicon48; Box

Attending a convention? When calling con-

8297, Minneapolis MN 55408.

ventions for information, do not call collect
and do not call too late in the evening. It is

29 August–2 September 2013
best to include a S.A.S.E. when requesting in-

LONESTARCON 3 (71st World Science Fiction
formation; include an International Reply

Convention) at Henry B. Gonzalez Convention

Coupon if the convention is in a different

Center, San Antonio, Texas. Author Guests of
country.

Honor: James Gunn & Norman Spinrad; Editor

Guest of Honor: Ellen Datlow; Artist Guest of

186

ANTHONY LEWIS

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Table of Contents

- Chapter 18:
- Chapter 1
- Chapter 2
- Chapter 3
- Chapter 4
- Chapter 5
- Chapter 6
- Chapter 7
- Chapter 8
- Chapter 9
- Chapter 10
- Chapter 11
- Chapter 12
- Epilogue