Destiny Rising
Author: Siobhan Davis
Date: 2015-08-30 13:33:06+00:00
Keywords: Juvenile Fiction; Dystopian
Description: EVERY CHOICE HAS A CONSEQUENCE Once again, the world is on the brink of momentous change. As revolutionary organization Saoirse prepares to battle the government for control of Earth and Novo, Ariana and those she loves must join humanity's fight for justice and freedom. As haunted memories resurface, old discoveries and new realities conspire to shatter her world forever. Torn in one direction by her unique connection to childhood sweetheart Zane, and pulled in the other by a relentless passion for her fiery fiancé Cal, she must make the hardest decision of all. While embarking on a road to s

Table of Contents

Greek Translations
CHAPTER 1
CHAPTER 2
CHAPTER 3
CHAPTER 4
CHAPTER 5
CHAPTER 6
CHAPTER 7
CHAPTER 8
CHAPTER 9
CHAPTER 10
CHAPTER 11
CHAPTER 12
CHAPTER 13
CHAPTER 14
CHAPTER 15
CHAPTER 16
CHAPTER 17
CHAPTER 18
CHAPTER 19
CHAPTER 20
CHAPTER 21
CHAPTER 22
CHAPTER 23
CHAPTER 24
CHAPTER 25
Epilogue
The True Calling Short Story Collection
A Special Note from the Author
About the Author
Saven: Deception Sample
Books by Siobhan Davis
Copyright

GREEK TRANSLATIONS

Είναι ήπιο με το αγόρι – Be gentle with the boy.

Γλυκιά μία – Sweet one.

PART I - ARIANA

CHAPTER 1

Every color imaginable floats in front of my eyes. Temporary whiplash sets in as my head jerks back and forth, surveying the myriad of different fish swimming freely outside the glass window of the observation deck. It’s a pretty cool hiding place. Soothing in its own way. Well, as soothing as anything could be considering my current predicament.

Mercifully, I’ve been left undisturbed for the last hour—undisturbed by other humans that is.

My thoughts, however, are entirely another matter.

Severely disturbed is more akin to how I feel at the swarm of memories that are presently invading my mind.

Forced to flee when the government unexpectedly attacked Saoirse’s facility in Florida, I can barely recall our arrival here in the underwater military Command Center. It hadn’t actually taken that long to travel here even though we are thousands of miles out at sea and scraping the bottom of the ocean floor. That’s the beauty of the Velo network, I suppose. Designed specifically as a high-velocity transportation system, it can travel at the speed of light. Okay, so I made that last bit up, but it’s probably not far from the truth.

Vaguely remembering Cal going to sort out our accommodation, I had taken flight at the first opportunity. I’d wandered aimlessly for a while until I stumbled into the main lobby area. Levels stretched upward as far as I could see. Curious to discover what was at the top, I’d hopped in the elevator and ended up here.

The observation deck reminds me a little of the Empire State Building or the Rockefeller Center but without all the buildings and the crowds. The view is still spectacular though.

Scooting forward on my knees, I press my nose to the glass and stare at the multi-colored fish as they dance on by. The water outside is eerily calm and there’s barely a ripple.

The one observation I’ve made so far about our new home is how weird it smells. If I were standing at the top of the Empire State Building now, I’d inhale the fresh minty air and feel the sting on my skin as wind whistled by, whipping my hair around my face. There’s nothing here but a sterile, clinical-type odor that reminds me of a hospital ward, or the whiff you get when you sit in a brand new car for the first time. I wiggle my nose as my nostrils itch aggravatingly. I hope I’m not allergic.

Approaching footsteps break my reverie, and my heart rate rockets when I sense who it is.

There’s no hiding from him.

Not now. Not ever.

“I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”

Glancing up, I automatically sweep him from head to toe. Sculptured jawline, check. Sparkling blue eyes, double check. Defined chest and abs, oh, yeah. Before I can continue my ogling, he drops to his knees beside me. My body still presses into the glass, but he gently tugs on my shoulders, easing me back. Twisting around, he snags me onto his lap.

My gaze remains latched onto his, and I know I need to stop staring. But I can’t force myself to look away, almost like it’s an inhuman feat I’m incapable of achieving. “I feel like man-candy.” Cal smirks.

I snort in a most unattractive manner. “I can easily get behind that,” I say, visualizing getting all up in his personal space. Yeah, my mind is still in the gutter, though I’m totally blaming my pregnancy hormones for that.

Threading his fingers in mine, Cal stares at me pensively. “Talk to me. What’s going on?” Panic builds in my chest and I avert my eyes.

Mission accomplished on the whole staring thing.

“Nothing much,” I mutter, focusing on my feet. I won’t lie to his face.

“Is it him? Do you remember?”

Even though he’s somewhat hit the nail on the head, there’s no way I’m admitting to that right now and not until I’ve spoken to Zane about the horrific memory that’s hijacked my mind and threatened my sanity. Though I’m unsure if I’ll ever get to do that, for we’ve been separated again, and this time I fear there’s no returning from it.

Zane has been in a coma since he took a bullet for me in the woods outside the Clementia compound. Miraculously, I’d still been able to communicate with him through my mind, but that connection is lost now and I’m terrified for him. Even when we were living on different worlds, we’d found a way to communicate. Now there is nothing but a blank, empty void, and I’m so afraid of what that means.

I’m still mad at him though.

I’d confided in him about the weird dreams I’ve been having these last couple of weeks. He knew; yet, he said nothing and tried to brush it off. “That sounds very mundane,” he’d said. ‘Mundane’ indeed. I had sensed something was off, but given everything else going on at that time, I’d let it drop.

I know what he would say if he were here now and I could confront him. I was only trying to protect you.

By lying to me.

I’m so sick of all the deceptions, well intentioned or not. And I direct that thought at myself too. I’m the worst culprit, and I hate myself for it. Nonetheless, I’m not breathing a word to Cal about the abhorrent memory that has resurfaced, threatening to derail me completely.

I don’t think I even like me anymore, so how on earth can I expect him to if he finds out? Though the temptation to share the burden is riding me hard, I can’t risk losing Cal again. “I remember some stuff, but it’s not what you think. It’s just the enormity of everything and where I am. I had such plans for my life, you know? None of this was on my agenda.” I shake my head and bite down on my lip. Risking a peek at him, I note his narrowed eyes and taut jawline. Jeez, I’m such an idiot. I can’t seem to stop putting my foot in it.

“I’m not explaining properly,” I say, wrapping my arm across his shoulders. “I want to be with you, but all the other stuff … it’s overwhelming. And it’s as if it’s just hit me, like an out-of-control juggernaut.”

“You know you can tell me anything, right?” He twists a lock of my hair around his finger.

He doesn’t believe me.

“Of course. And I would if there was anything to tell. I’m just trying to get my head around everything.” I hate lying again because I’ve promised him that there will be no more secrets between us.

But I can’t tell him this.

I can’t. I won’t.

I don’t want to see the look in his eyes when he realizes I’m not the person he thinks I am. I always thought I was a good person, but now? Now, I’m not so sure.

My eyes dart to the glass again. “I wish I was a fish,” I blurt out.

Cal almost chokes on his laugh. “What?”

“Look at them,” I say, motioning with my hand. “They look content, right?”

“Okaaaay. I’ll play along.” He arches a brow.

My eyes stare transfixed out the window. “Life must be so simple, just swimming along without a care in the world. And if they succumb to a predator, it would be fast. Two seconds of realization and then poof, over and out. No politics, no suffering, no impending war. No …” I clamp my mouth shut in time, the word ‘baby’ lying unspoken on my tongue.

If Cal notices, he doesn’t let on. “Hhmm,” he says, his finger trailing a path down the side of my face. My skin tingles in every place where he touches me and I shudder. He smiles knowingly. “How do you know fish aren’t plagued with worries and concerns? That they don’t think and feel the same way we do?” His lips tug up at the corners.

“Oh please! What do they have to worry about? Corrupt governments? Fake rebel movements? A deranged bitch with some kind of personal vendetta?”

He frowns, his finger momentarily stalling on my cheek. “If you were a fish, which one would you be?”

I’m caught off guard by the blatant diversion, but I decide to go with the flow.

Anything to avoid a further convo about my recalled memories.

I check out the current batch of beauties floating by the glass. “That one,” I say, pointing to a rather dainty looking cerise pink fish with a peachy snout. “That one’s pretty, right?”

“Yeah, but pretty doesn’t do you justice.” He sits up straighter and leans toward the glass. “You’d be that one,” he says, pointing to a larger purple-colored fish, with vibrant orange fringing and blue-gold veins curling around its fins. The fish swims to the glass and looks in at us, almost as if it knows we are pointing it out. Its golden speckled snout has a decidedly elegant appearance, an almost regal presence.

His choice is infinitely better than mine.

“You still haven’t taken those rose-tinted glasses off, have you?” I peer closely at him. “In fact, if I didn’t know better, I’d swear you’ve upgraded to double glazing.” I grin. Goofing around helps enormously. I haven’t thought of the hideous memory for the last five minutes, although I’m thinking about it now.

I sigh loudly.

Cal looks at me pensively. “I love you,” he says out of nowhere, pressing his lips briefly to mine.

“I love you too.” Wrapping my other arm around him, I cling to him and inhale the familiar fresh scent that always reminds me of a crisp, spring day in the woods back home in Connecticut. His hand tangles through my hair as my cheek rests on his shoulder. I could quite happily just sit here forever.

Everything feels right when I’m with him like this.

“As much as I hate to drag you away from your new family,” he admits, gesturing toward the glass, “my dad is waiting. He’s free to talk to you now and he’s not the most patient man.” He removes his hand from my hair.

Slowly lifting my head, I stifle a yawn. “Guess it runs in the family,” I mumble under my breath. He mock punches me in the arm, and I laugh as if I don’t have a care in the whole world.

“Might as well get it over and done with then. Come on.” Pushing off the glass, I straighten up, smoothing my hands over my wrinkled pants. A loud yawn escapes me.

“It’s late. If you’re too tired, we can leave it for a few hours and talk to him in the morning instead.”

“I need to talk to him now. It can’t wait.”

Sighing, he slightly shakes his head. “Are you going to tell me what it’s about?” He jumps up and takes my hand in his.

This at least is something I can share with him. “You remember when I had that vision of my mom … that last time,” I whisper, my voice trailing off. I can’t verbalize it because the pain of Mom’s death is too raw, and if I go there, I’m afraid that I’ll never resurface.

Nodding his head, he clutches my hand more firmly as my eyes squeeze shut in a feeble attempt to ward off the dreadful image that is on the outer edges of my mind. “She said some things that didn’t make much sense at the time.” I open my eyes and level a stare at him. “She said to tell Nate not to forget his promise.” Cal’s eyes widen in surprise as we walk. “I didn’t know who she meant,” I explain, stepping into the elevator as soon as the doors glide open. “Then I heard Commander De Luca call your dad Nate back in Florida, and I made the connection.”

Cal tucks me into his side. “Damn. That’s …”

“Messed up?” I offer, looking up at him.

“I was going for strange but that works too. Okay, now I see why you need to speak to him. Does your dad know about this?” he asks, planting a light kiss on my forehead.

“I haven’t had a chance to tell him yet. I figured I should ask your dad first.” As I state this, I question the wisdom of my decision. Our fathers don’t get on, that much is blatantly obvious. But neither of us understands why. Perhaps my going to Commander Remus first is not the best move, but it’s set in motion now.

“Yeah, I think you should probably give your dad some time to cool down anyway.” His eyes crinkle at the corners as we step out into the corridor.

“Oh no! Did something happen with you two?” I stop and pull him over to the side, allowing a couple of soldiers to overtake us.

“Not exactly.” He pauses and I give him one of my special looks. “He insisted on sorting out the accommodation before he was taken to the medical wing. Options are limited here—three bunks to an apartment. Naturally, he wants all of you with him, but that wasn’t possible, so I signed you up for an apartment with myself and Ben, and that went down real swell as you can imagine.” His lips tug up slightly at the corners.

“How was he when he left?”

“Not a happy bunny, but there isn’t anything he can do about it. He’ll get over it.” Placing his hand across my lower back, he moves me forward.

“Did he say anything else? Did he ask you about the baby?”

Cal reaches out and unknots my clenched fists. “Relax, babe. He never mentioned it.”

“Oh goodie, something else to look forward to,” I say, rubbing my nose. Cal inadvertently relayed the news about the baby on the Velo before I’d had the opportunity to formally tell Dad that I’m pregnant. If his wide-eyed startled first impression is anything to go by, I’m in a butt-load of trouble.

“We’ll tell him together. It’s going to be fine. Now will you please chill? All this worrying can’t be good for the baby.” Resisting the urge to flip him off, I exhale deeply and try to calm my beating heart. I’m not sure how it’s affecting the baby, but I know for certain that all this stress isn’t good for me.

Cal leads me down a wide corridor explaining that the numbered doors on my left are assigned accommodation. Scanning the edge of the exposed railing on my right, I experience a mad rush of vertigo and sway unsteadily on my feet. Cal whips me around to his other side with a surly look in his eyes. Rolling my eyes, I stop short of reprimanding him for treating me like a child. It’s not as if I was going to fall or pitch myself over the edge. “How many levels are there in this place?” I ask, as my eyes struggle to take in the vastness of the underwater compound.

“Twenty floors. Apparently this was built by NASA originally as a backup facility, and Saoirse has been customizing it the last six months. It’s pretty damn impressive from what I’ve seen so far. Here,” he says, coming to a sudden stop. “This is my dad’s apartment. Mel and Jaden are bunking with him. We’re a few apartments down, and your family a few apartments below that. All nice and cozy.” He smirks as he presses his thumb into the tiny pad to the left of the doorframe.

The thin silver door glides smoothly aside and Commander Remus waves us in.

“Your brother and sister have gone to check out the cafeteria so we can talk in private. But it’s late so they won’t be long.” He motions toward a small white lacquered table tucked into the immediate right of the apartment.

Cal pulls out one of the chairs and I quickly plop down. I cast a cursory glance around the space; it takes bijou to a whole new level. At the far end is a free-standing locker surrounded by two bunks on one side and a larger bed on the other. Left of that is a narrow steel door, which I assume grants entry to the bathroom. A coffee station and wall-mounted screen is squeezed into the space in front of the table. That sums up the apartment in its entirety. Claustrophobia central. I shudder.

“Is ours like this?” I turn to face Cal.

“The very same.” Leaning his arm across the back of my chair, he slouches down in his seat.

“Not much privacy then.” I frown.

“We don’t have to worry about that,” he says, winking. Warmth spreads over my cheeks. “Ben on the other hand …” He smirks. My skin flushes even redder, and I stare at the tabletop, too embarrassed to look his dad in the eye.

“Your mother used to blush all the time too,” Commander Remus says quietly.

“What?” I ask, lifting my chin up, embarrassment all but forgotten. Cal sits up straighter in his chair.

“I assume you want to talk to me about Anneka?” I nod, swallowing the large, painful lump that’s formed in the back of my throat. Setting his chin on his hand, he has a glazed faraway look in his eyes. It’s the look of someone reaching into the inner depths of his mind and remembering things long since buried.

I wait patiently for him to begin. Cal drums his fingers restlessly on the table. After a couple of minutes, I plant my hand over his and pin him with a cautionary stare. He looks as nervous as I feel.

“I was sixteen the first time I met your mother. She was a year younger,” Nate says, placing his hands in front of him. He looks me squarely in the eye. “You look a lot like she did at that age. You have your dad’s eyes, but the rest of you is pure Anneka.” I stare at him like I’m missing half my brain cells. Cal tenses at my side. “I fell in love with her the minute I laid eyes on her.”

Jumping up, eyes on stilts, I stumble back against my chair, almost losing my balance. “What the what?” I shriek. Cal stands and places his hands on my shoulders, gently easing me back down into the seat. Moving his chair closer to mine, he wraps his arm across my shoulders as I struggle to comprehend what his dad has just said.

“They never told you any of this?” he asks, eyebrows raised. Shaking my head, I feel queasy, and my sense of foreboding is rising.

“Well, this is going to come as a bit of a shock, but if you react like that to all of it, then we’ll be here half the night …”

“Dad,” Cal interrupts. “There’s no need for that tone. Cut Ariana some slack here, okay? She’s been through a lot. She needs to hear this, but not if you’re going to be a total jerk about it.” Looking up, I glance from father to son and the expression on Commander Remus’ face is hard to read.

“You really love her, don’t you?”

“Yes. I’ve tried to tell you this all along, but you never listen to me.” Cal eyeballs him.

“Oh, I heard you all right. I just didn’t want to believe it. I wanted to save you from … history repeating itself.” He drags his fingers roughly through his hair. “I don’t want to see you hurt, not like I was hurt. I only wanted to spare you that.” Cal’s mouth hangs open. The Commander’s eyes flit to my face, and he pins me with a serious look. “Do you love my son?”

I’m fairly confused at the turn in this conversation, but I answer him honestly nonetheless. “Yes, I do. I love him very much.” My face is flaming, but I hold his gaze. Cal’s hand trails up and down my arm, his caress feathering deep inside me. His smile is radiant and my heart flutters erratically at how easily a few words can light up his life. As I stare into his eyes, I realize how terrified I am of losing him.

He can never know, my inner voice whispers.

“Then I hope you two make it. Genuinely, I do,” Nate says, effectively ending the moment. “Because the last thing I want is for your heart to be broken like mine was, Cal.” Turning to me, he continues. “Your mother was my whole world, and I loved her so completely. We were together five years when I asked her to marry me. I knew no one else would ever mean as much to me as she did. I was the happiest man on the planet when she consented to be my wife.” He thrusts his hand through his hair again, and the anguished look on his face slices me to the core.

Of course, I already know the outcome: That she didn’t end up marrying him, and I’m sensing it wasn’t a happy parting, but nothing could’ve prepared me for his next statement.

“Your father was my best friend. We’d been friends since we were three. Three years old. Damnit, we were as close as brothers. That’s what made it all so sordid.” He grinds his teeth and a muscle pops in his jaw. I can sense how difficult it is for him to relive this memory. “The wedding was all set. Venue and church booked, dresses and suit jackets ordered and paid for, invites just going to print.”

He exhales deeply and his chest rises heavily. “Your father stole her from me two months before our planned wedding. Two months!” He shakes his head, leveling me with a look that provides a tiny glimpse into the bitterness he still appears to be carrying all these years later.

“She left me, broken, without a second thought.” Tears prick his eyes as he stares at me. I gulp nervously. “Your parents ruined my life.”

Commander Remus more or less came undone after that, so we make a hasty retreat. I hadn’t even gotten to ask him what I needed to, but the man was in bits, and there was no way I could push him after that revelation.

Shell-shocked doesn’t even begin to cover how I feel.

Cal comes to a stop outside our apartment and slides to the ground. I scoot down beside him. “Ben’s asleep,” he whispers, “so we can’t talk in there.” I nod. “What do you make of all that?” He turns and faces me.

“Honestly? I’m pretty speechless right now. My mother never said a word to me.” I stare numbly at the ceiling. “At least that explains why my dad acted so weird that time I first brought you home.”

“Does it, though? Why would he have an issue with you dating me? He got the girl, so why should it matter to him?” Cal says, rubbing his palms across his pants. There’s an edge to his tone that I don’t like. Before I get a chance to respond, a pair of legs appears in front of me. Looking up, I stare into my dad’s eyes.

“What are you doing down there?” he asks, his gaze flitting between us.

“Just talking,” I say, pushing myself up. Cal rises fluidly alongside me.

“Have you heard anything from Zane?” Dad asks.

I shake my head. “Not since before the crash.” The last silent discussion I had with Zane was a couple of days ago when we were on the stealth-craft en route to the Saoirse compound in Florida. Since then, nada. Cal’s jaw clenches tight. “Why?” I ask, picking up on a tidal wave of anxiety emanating from him.

“I think you should come with me.”

We follow him silently into the elevator. “Is your shoulder okay?”

“I’m fine,” he says, dismissing my concern with a wave of his hand. “Fully healed, thanks to the medi-scan.”

We exit on the lower level and hurry to keep up with his brisk pace. Walking through a succession of winding corridors and endless passageways, we eventually stop in front of two large, vaulted steel doors. Dad taps in a code on the keypad and the doors retract.

We step into the vast Operational Command Center set over two levels. The outer glass window doubles up as a screen, and a barrage of information floats in front of my eyes: coordinates, maps, images, graphs, and other military data sweep across the wide screen in rotating grids. I count four rows of technicians seated at uniform square desks. Some have their heads bowed, eyes firmly fixed on digital screens. Others converse lowly between themselves or communicate via small digital earpieces. A steady thrumming sound resonates in the room, and the air of urgency is palpable.

A large rectangular table takes center stage on this level, and I spot several familiar faces seated or standing in close proximity. Separate digital pods line the back wall. Two enclosed rooms are off to the right.

A deadly hush descends over the room, and my heart spikes in anticipation. Swiveling around, I focus on the screen as an image loads. “What’s happening, Dad?”

Gently, he clasps my shoulders. As I sense his mounting fear, a cold sweat forms underneath my clothes. He presses his mouth to my ear. “The government is moving in on the Clementia Connecticut compound.”

My eyes widen as the image of the familiar woodland materializes on the screen in front of us. A solid block of Rangers stands shoulder to shoulder outside the main entry hatch, weapons raised and ready. A fleet of stealth-craft hovers ominously overhead.

My breath hitches in my throat as I stare trance-like at the screen. “Zane.” The word is a whisper on my tongue as my eyes latch onto Dad’s face. He grips my hand and we both stare, horror-struck as the stealth-craft simultaneously release a slew of missiles into the air.

Standing motionless, united in our fear, we watch as the underground facility explodes in a massive fireball that illuminates the entire night sky.

CHAPTER 2

I kind of hyperventilated after that but I don’t cry. I think I’m incapable of shedding any more tears; I’ve already cried me a river.

Cal guides me quickly and quietly to our apartment. An awkward layer of tension has settled between us, and I know we need to continue our discussion over his father’s confession. But right now, I have a date with my bed. Because I desperately want to sleep, need to sleep, to blot it all out, if only for a few hours.

I shiver uncontrollably under the covers, but Cal’s arms are there to comfort me. I call out to Zane in my mind, over and over again, but the response is the same.

A resounding emptiness that chills me to the core.

Insidious worry cages my heart in a vice-like grip, and I wriggle anxiously in Cal’s embrace. His arms never falter.

Eventually I drift asleep.

A deafening, rumbling sound edges into my unconsciousness. My eyelids flutter as I reach across the bed for Cal. My eyes dart wide open, and I stare at the empty space beside me. A loud coughing, grunting sound distracts me. I peek at the other bunk. Ben’s chest swells and deflates noisily under the comforter.

Super-duper: I’m rooming with a snorer. And not the common garden-variety kind either. Nope. If they were giving out medals for snoring, Ben would win gold. Uugghh! I bury my head under my pillow and try to blank the sound out.

I wake a couple of hours later as hands roam over my hips and lips nuzzle my ear. My body instantly spikes alive, and my hormones supercharge every nerve ending and cell. I’m a quivering mass of sensation in record-breaking time. I’m tingling all over as he whispers in my ear. “Morning, gorgeous.” Sparing a quick look at Ben, I’m not surprised to find that he’s still out for the count.

He sleeps like the dead.

I twist around into Cal’s embrace. His lips lock on mine before I can return his greeting, and he plunders my mouth greedily. My body curls naturally around his, and I long to rip off my sleep shorts and top, to be skin to skin against him. Pulling my leg up over his hip, he snags me in close as his hands snake all over my body.

Yeah, he’s totally feeling it too. But we aren’t alone, and there’s no way I’m going there with Ben in the room.

Cal’s lips leave my mouth bereft as they trail seductively down my neck and lower. My breathing is rampant and heavy, and Cal moans against my skin. My resolve evaporates in a split second. Screw it; I don’t care that we’re not alone. I need this. I need him. I feel blissfully carefree, and all I want to focus on is the sensation of his lips on my skin and the warmth flooding every part of my body.

“Oh my God, are you guys freaking kidding me?”

I shriek at the sound of Ben’s voice and pull away from Cal, dragging the comforter up under my chin. Cal props himself up on an elbow and grins smugly. Heat, that has nothing to do with my over-active hormones, surges over my neck and lands with embarrassing clarity on my face. I sneak a quick peek at Ben, and the look on his face is incredulous. “That is disgusting.” He makes a weird scowling gesture with his lips. “Like, seriously gross. I think I might spew.”

“Stop exaggerating.” Cal shoots him a look. “Besides we weren’t the only ones causing unwelcome distractions.”

“You snore, dude,” I blurt out. “Like, really loudly.”

Cal chuckles. “Even Stevens, buddy.”

“No way,” Ben protests, flinging off the covers and revealing a rather surprising toned physique. He’s wearing a tiny pair of black sleep shorts that leave little to the imagination. It’s an image I’d rather not have seen. I’m trying not to gawk, but that’s a momentous feat in the tiny box that we now call home. “That display of … slobbery fornicating totally trumps my snoring. And that’s not a compliment. Uughh.” He shivers as if something nasty has just crawled under his skin. I’m starting to feel insulted.

“Slobbery fornicating?” Cal says, eyebrows arched. “Man, where do you dredge this stuff up from?” He scratches his stubbly chin as he eyeballs his best friend. “And go put some clothes on while you’re contemplating your questionable range of vocabulary.”

“Does my body confidence upset you?” Ben stands with his hands on his hips, and I have to stifle the laugh bubbling up my throat.

“With this perfect specimen?” Cal says, gesturing toward himself. I roll my eyes. “Nah. Just don’t want Ariana to hurl.”

“Leave me out of this,” I implore, as Cal throws a pillow at Ben’s head.

“Where did you go in the middle of the night?” I ask Cal as we walk hand in hand toward the cafeteria.

“I went to talk to my dad.”

“Oh.” I bite the inside of my cheek. “Is he okay?”

“I don’t know.” He looks sideways at me as we walk. “I never understood why he was so opposed to you back on Novo. Now it makes sense. He was only trying to protect me.”

That rubs me wrong in about ten different ways. “So what? He assumed that I was going to break your heart just because he says that’s what my mom did to him?”

Cal stops abruptly in the middle of the corridor. “You doubt him? You don’t think he’s told us the truth?”

Extracting my hand, I fold my arms across my chest. “I’m not saying that. I don’t think he’d totally make it up, but I’ve only heard his version of events. And it’s unfair of him to jump to conclusions when he doesn’t even know me.”

“Maybe. But he didn’t want me suffering from a broken heart or having to deal with the things he endured. That was his sole motivation.”

I laugh and Cal pins me with a derisory look. “That wasn’t his sole motivation, Cal! I thought you’d regained your memory after your amnesia? He asked you to spy on me because my dad was involved with the rebels. He didn’t want you mixed up in that. It had nothing to do with the possibility of me breaking your heart. And if that’s what he’s telling you, then he’s still lying to you.”

Cal stiffens and anger contorts his beautiful face. “And your father has told you the truth all along, right?”

He knows how to hit me where it hurts. My dad has concealed things from me, and I sense there is much more that I don’t know. But I’m damned if I’m going to agree with Cal and side with his father. How easily he seems to have forgotten the callous treatment he’s endured at his dad’s hands. “My dad wasn’t here to tell me the truth because your father helped the government conspire with Clementia to terminate him!” I shout. A few heads turn our way.

“Ariana, that’s not fair. You know my dad had nothing to do with Clementia’s attempt on your dad’s life.”

“How sure are you of that? Because it seems pretty clear to me after last night that your dad is still bitter over what happened with my mom. Maybe he saw an opportunity to exact his revenge.”

Cal pales and I think I may have pushed him too far. “My dad is a lot of things, Ariana,” he says, bending down. “But he’s not a cold-blooded killer.”

Then he spins on his heel and walks away from me.

Rage churns unpleasantly in my gut, and I stand there as if rooted to the ground. My face is flaming and I’m furious with him. I can’t believe he walked off on me! But chasing after him will only mean a very public spat, and I hate being the center of attention. Besides, I literally feel like choking him at this moment, and I know we both need to calm down. Instead, I decide to track down my dad. I need to know the truth, and I have to hear it from him.

I locate him in Command Center, but he’s tied up in meetings until later on. I don’t want to head to the cafeteria or go back to our apartment, lest I bump into Cal, so I decide to go exploring instead.

Discovering a massive stealth-craft hangar beside Command Center, I squeal with delight. Perhaps I’ll get the opportunity to continue my pilot training and to utilize my flying skills. Level Two houses a massive state-of-the-art medical facility with adjoining research lab. As I wander through the corridors, a familiar face pops his head out of one of the rooms. Taylor gives me an enthusiastic thumbs-up, and I can’t help but smile. Climbing the stairs to the third level, I find the Educational Center that is going to be Deacon’s new school. A large Training Unit occupies the remaining space on this level, and it’s equipped with everything a soldier could need to prepare for war. The Technology Hub, Propaganda Cell, and a large amphitheater reside on the fourth level. Thereafter, all levels appear to be residential quarters, though I give up checking after Level Nine.

Stomach grumbling, I risk a trip to the cafeteria. Finding it relatively empty, I eat a quick breakfast and then pay a fleeting visit to our apartment to change into my training gear.

I spend a couple of hours pounding away in the Training Unit gym, and after I’m showered and changed, I return to Command Center.

Dad takes me into one of the side rooms to talk. Updating him immediately, I relay everything Commander Remus told me last night. “Why didn’t you or Mom tell me this? Is that why you didn’t like Cal from the get-go?” I wring my hands in my lap.

Dad stares off into space. “Partly,” he admits, diverting his attention back to me.

“Is it true? That you stole Mom from him?”

His look darkens. “Is that what he told you?”

I nod. “He said you both ruined his life.”

Dad growls, all the while shaking his head. “Nate always had a flair for the dramatic. You should have talked to me first, Ari. I don’t want you near that man. Please stay away from him.”

“That’s not going to be possible, Dad. Cal is in my life, and you’ll have to find some way to accept that. I’m not going to pretend to like his father—because I don’t—but I have to tolerate him. And so will you.”

Dad grips the table. “Is it true? Are you pregnant?”

Ah, crap. I so didn’t want to get into this yet. “Yes. And there is something else you should know. I’m engaged to Cal.” I thrust out my hand and my ruby engagement ring sparkles brightly under the stark lighting in the room. Dad holds my hand, inspecting the ring, and then his gaze flicks up to mine. “And, um …” I gulp nervously. “The baby is Cal’s. Not one of those engineered babies from the government’s baby farm.”

I’d only learned about the government’s genetic population plan a few weeks ago. Clementia had explained how President Calavero was the sperm donor for the program that had implanted fertilized embryos in the wombs of unsuspecting female participants of ‘The Calling.’ At the time, I was reluctant to accept that this was the reason for my pregnancy. Now, I’m even more resolved because everything Clementia relayed is called into question. Who knows if anything they told us was true?

My face is hot, like scorching hot, but I return his steady gaze.

Grasping both my hands in his larger ones, he stares at me for what seems like eternity. A multitude of different emotions flits across his face. “Say something,” I implore.

“It’s serious between you?” This feels a little déjà vu, but at least he hasn’t asked me outright if I love him. I’m not sure I could bring myself to confirm that given how furious I am with Cal at this precise moment.

“Yes.” I wet my lips nervously.

“That complicates things.”

I frown. “Why? Why do I feel like there’s something major you’re not telling me?”

“God, I wish your mother was here,” he says, holding a hand to the back of his head. “She always knew exactly how to convey these things.”

“Dad, there’s no right or wrong way. There’s only the truth.”

“I need to start at the beginning.”

I resist the urge to say ‘Duh!’

“Nate—Cal’s dad—and I were inseparable from the time we met. We lived a few doors away from each other, attended the same school, played on the same little league team, and basically did everything together. Joining the military was even a team decision. He was more than my best friend. He was like the brother I never had.” He smiles and I see a wealth of happy memories glistening in his eyes. “He met your mom when he was sixteen. Ordinarily, I would’ve been by his side, but we were on family vacation. I came home a week later, and Nate was head over heels in love.”

“Did Mom love him?” I have to ask.

“Yes, she did. Very much so in those early years.” He sighs and I instinctively lean in closer. “I dated too, but deep down, I always harbored strong feelings for your mom. I tried to deny them—she was the love of Nate’s life—but we all spent so much time together that it was virtually impossible. I never told her how I felt. What was the point? At this stage, she was engaged to Nate, and they were planning their wedding. It was a done deal. I figured I’d get over her in time.” He pauses and his look is brooding.

“When did that change?” I place my elbows on the table. Mom had relayed stories of her and Dad’s courtship, but this is the first time I’m hearing the true version of events, and I’m beyond intrigued. The way my dad looks whenever he says Mom’s name; it’s wow. I never doubted the love they shared, except for those few weeks before our move to Novo when something major went down between them. My sixth sense tingles, and I’m guessing that whatever it was had something to do with Cal’s dad.

“Nate asked me to step in and escort your mom to the ballet one night. We were only a few months shy of graduating from the military, and Commander Calavero had asked him to participate in a special project that was taking up all of his spare time.”

“Wait,” I say, straightening in my chair. “The Commander … he’s the President?”

“Yes. He was our Commanding Officer back then, and a decent man.” The faraway look returns to his eyes. “Anyway, I escorted your mom that night, and one thing led to another and we shared some kisses, and I realized then that she felt the same way about me. Though she continued to deny it to herself for weeks. Eventually, we were on the same page, and we knew we had to break the news to Nate. It was never going to be easy.”

He exhales deeply. “I never meant to take her away from him, and you should know that your mom didn’t plan for it to happen either. It just happened. She fell in love with me, and for a long time, she denied that because she didn’t want to hurt Nate. We had decided to tell him, but he found us kissing and he went berserk. I don’t blame him for that; it was an awful way to learn the truth. And it’s the one thing that I still feel bad about, even now.”

“I can only imagine,” I whisper. And I can’t help feeling guilty because Cal still doesn’t know that I kissed Zane when we were living in the Clementia compound. He’d be so hurt if he found out. My earlier anger slips away, and I vow to find him after this and patch things up.

“Nate never forgave us. I thought in time that perhaps we might be able to salvage some part of our friendship but that was naïve of me. Overnight, I gained the woman of my dreams, but I lost my best friend in the process. It was a strange feeling. To be so elated one moment, and so grief stricken the next. I often thought of him over the years, long after he moved to Philadelphia, but it wasn’t until …”

The door slides open, interrupting us, and I jump in my seat. A beautiful blonde appears in the room. “Sorry to disturb you, Malcolm,” Calista says. “We’re about to start.”

Calista is Chancellor Corr’s estranged wife and part of the leadership of Saoirse, the organization committed to starting the real revolution. When I had first relocated to Earth from Novo, I’d been led to believe that’s what Clementia was. But we discovered that Clementia was only a sham rebel organization created by Calista’s despicable husband in collusion with President Calavero. Thankfully, Calista and the Board of Management had exposed his subterfuge and set up Saoirse.

We only barely managed to get out from under Clementia’s control in time.

Zane’s face floats through my mind, and familiar anguish settles on my chest. We’d had no choice but to leave him behind when we fled to Saoirse’s compound in Florida. I still don’t know what’s happened to him or whether he is even still alive.

After witnessing the bombing of our old home last night, I fear the worst. But I can’t think about that now, so I push the thoughts away before they floor me.

Calista acknowledges me with a nod and a warm smile. “I’m glad you made it here safely, Ariana.”

“Me too.”

“I think Ariana should hear this as well,” she says, her gaze flipping to Dad. He nods in agreement.

“We’ll talk about this again, Ari. For now, stay away from that man as much as you can,” Dad says, bringing me back into the moment.

I nod distractedly. “Sure, Dad.”

My chair makes a loud screeching noise as I rise. I follow Dad and Calista out of Command Center and back along the narrow corridor. We pass through double doors out into a wider hallway and take the elevator to the fourth floor. We step out into a long, narrow corridor and walk to the far end.

I step into the large amphitheater and descend the steps toward the front. Several people sit in the first few rows, and I spot the back of Dan Fielding’s head on the raised podium. Dan is Saoirse’s Chairman and Calista’s right-hand man. He is deep in conversation with my friend Ruby’s dad, Commander De Luca.

Dad follows Calista up onto the stage, and I slide into the second row, plonking down in a seat beside Agent Leena. Her hand closes over mine and she squeezes. I smile at her as Dan clears his throat.

“Thank you all for coming. We’d like to run through a few key items including outlining our strategy going forward. Naturally, time is of the essence, so it’s mission critical that we agree on plans and begin executing them immediately. There’s no doubt that the government is already mobilizing their troops against us, and we must be ready to face them.”

Pivoting around, he hands a small device to Calista and steps back. The screen flickers to life behind her, and she moves to the side as she begins talking. “Our aim is straightforward: To take back control of Earth and Novo from the government. Our strategy for achieving this is anything but simple due to the many variable components we need to take account of.”

A list of bullet points appears behind her. She gestures toward the screen. “The first priority is disabling and removing the Vita chip implants en masse. We have safely removed them from a number of individuals within our compound, and the remaining personnel will have undergone the procedure by the end of today. As you are aware, the government has only been installing the Vitas on Earth over the course of the last few weeks, but our intel confirms that at least thirty percent of the population has already been implanted. So disabling all Vitas in operation is pivotal to our success. Disabling them individually is not an option, so we have a team of IT personnel working around the clock to identify a way of shutting them down en masse.”

Zane should be leading the charge. A wave of sadness engulfs me once again. “Once we’ve achieved that,” she continues, “the priority is sending mobile medical teams out into the field to remove them. We have partnered with local militants in various states, and we will work alongside them on the ground. A special project team has been established within our Medical Facility led by Dr. Taylor Jennings. This team will equip our doctors with the knowledge they need to perform these procedures and share this expertise with locals on the ground.”

She subtly nods at Commander De Luca and he steps forward. “Myself and Commander Skyee will assign teams of soldiers to suit various purposes: Providing protection detail for our medics on the ground, targeting government assigned teams tasked with Vita implants, and a couple of specialist units to evacuate other Clementia compounds before they are obliterated.”

Dad speaks next, his voice loud and clear. “Military assignments will be announced in the next couple of days. In the meantime, we advise all cadets and soldiers to spend as much time as possible preparing in the Training Unit.”

“What of our offensive strategy? This all sounds very much defensive,” Commander Remus says from somewhere behind me. I twist around in my seat and spy him sitting beside Cal and Mel two rows back. Cal’s eyes lock on mine but his expression is unreadable. Slowly, I turn and face the front.

“That is a work in progress. For now, the priority is removing the government’s Vita control. Without that, they lose their tracking functionality, and they can’t activate the kill switch. That is the key to winning this war,” Calista coolly replies.

Dad steps forward, his attention focused on Nate. “This war will be fought on three fronts—on the ground, in the air, and via technology. Ultimately, we will have to invade Novo and end the President’s tyranny. But we are in no position to attempt that yet, and we don’t have the numbers. In doing this, we will have a consistent supply of new recruits, and we can begin to train our army,” Dad explains.

“The President is streets ahead with the technology at his disposal, and the government’s manpower and air force is vastly superior to ours. We won’t have time to plan this a step at a time. This requires bold impetus, and I’m not hearing anything even close to it,” Commander Remus says.

“Agreed,” Calista intervenes. “And that’s why the Inner Council would like to talk with you after this meeting to discuss the knowledge you have, and how that can influence our planning.” I turn my head in time to see Commander Remus nod.

“How safe are we here?” I ask, wondering how much Clementia and the government are aware of this facility. “Mr. Fielding mentioned at the start the need to be ready. Does the government know where we are?”

“They are somewhat informed,” Calista confirms.

“Care to elaborate?” I ask, tilting my head to the side.

She smiles warmly at me. “We believe they have access to older plans, formulated around the time NASA started building this facility. They are not aware of the vastness of the underwater Velo network or the exact exit locations. However, it’s prudent to assume they have coordinates of this facility and some of the exit gates. We blew up the line from Florida, so they will be unable to approach from that position, and we have posted teams of guards at all exit points, both here in the States and across Europe. Emergency detonation can be remotely activated if necessary.”

“Won’t we be trapped here then?” Cal speaks up. I don’t like the thought of being enclosed in this underwater shell for the rest of my life, destined for a watery grave.

“No, Cadet Remus. We have a number of multi-purpose stealth-craft housed in our hangar. We have means of transport other than the Velo system, if it comes down to that. We’ve also developed technology—we call it Invincia—which effectively enables us to ‘hide’ here. The Invincia shield acts as an invisibility cloak and a hard barrier against enemy attack. I can assure you that you are well-protected here.”

I still don’t get a warm fuzzy feeling, and given everything I’ve witnessed in the last few weeks, it’s hard to take anyone in authority seriously or to assume their credibility is a given. The only reason I’m giving her and Saoirse the benefit of the doubt is because my father believes in them and he’s actively involved. He’s truly the only one I trust.

The meeting wraps up then and I rise swiftly in my seat. I’m eager to catch Cal before he leaves. I don’t want things festering between us, and I need to make this right, now. Closing the distance, I reach his row just as he steps out. “Hey. Do you have time to talk?”

His face is impressively passive. “Sure,” he replies, shoving his hands deep in his pockets. Stepping aside, he gestures for me to walk in front of him.

As we travel in the elevator to the rooftop observation deck in complete silence, my sense of trepidation accelerates the higher we go.

Once I sit down in front of the glass, a serene calmness wafts over me. Reacquainting myself with my new fishy family, I find the abundance of colors sliding across the glass strangely comforting.

“I’m sorry about earlier,” I admit, twisting around to face him. “I was out of line, and I shouldn’t have said all those things.”

“Do you really mean that?” He shoots a skeptical look my way.

I force my nasty retort back down my throat and mentally start counting to ten. “Yes. The last thing I want is for events of the past to affect us. What happened with our parents isn’t really anything to do with us.” I’m hoping I’ll be able to honor that statement, because I know I’m not in possession of all the facts yet. There is still more that Dad needs to tell me. But I’m determined to deal with it separately so it doesn’t affect my relationship with Cal. I may have already lost Zane, and I don’t want to do anything to risk losing Cal too.

“It’s not that I don’t understand,” he says, moving in closer to me. “I get that you want to defend your parents, and despite the fact that my dad won’t win any Super Dad contests anytime soon, I still feel a natural urge to defend him. Maybe I’m biased, but since he told me what transpired all those years ago, I can’t stop imagining myself in his shoes. That it’s Zane who comes along and sweeps you out from right under my nose.”

Ah, now I’m finally getting it though I shouldn’t be surprised. His lack of confidence in my love isn’t anything new nor is his fear of Zane. He’s no dummy, and he knows that I’m recalling all the details of my previous relationship with him. Understanding this helps me comprehend how and why he got so angry this morning. And I also can’t forget the surge of aggression that still lingers in his tissues, the aftermath of the atrocious violation by the government when they enrolled him in their Super Soldier program without his permission. “We are not our parents. And the situation with Zane is totally different. He was already in my past when I met and fell in love with you.”

Reaching out, I take his hand, and he readily threads his fingers between mine. “I missed you today.” He lifts our conjoined hands and brushes his lips across my skin. I don’t miss the fact that he hasn’t responded to my last comment, but I’m eager to remedy things between us, so I let it go.

“You saw me this morning. It hasn’t been that long,” I remind him.

“Feels like longer. I hate any time spent apart. It reminds me of those weeks I spent alone in Novo, out of my mind with worry. Fearing that I would never see you again. I don’t like willingly being separated.” It’s on the tip of my tongue to remind him that he walked off on me, but we’ll only get into it again. So I’m going to take the moral high ground for a change. I bite my tongue.

“Well, I’m here now,” I say, rising up on my knees. “And I’m going nowhere.”

He tugs me into his chest and kisses me softly. “That’s music to my ears.”

We eat dinner in the cafeteria with Lily, Deacon, Mel, and Ben, and we are escorting my siblings back to their apartment when the sound of arguing reaches my ears. Cal and I trade apprehensive looks as we spot our two fathers getting into it in the corridor.

“Dad!” Cal calls out as we approach. Two heads swivel in our direction and both men instantly cease speaking. Deacon clutches my hand tightly, clearly upset and confused. I purposely ignore both of them as I skim past and enter the apartment. Cal stays outside while I help Deacon prepare for bed.

“What’s going on, Ari?” Lily asks once I have Deacon settled in the top bunk.

“Nothing for you to worry about,” I whisper, stroking her hair back behind her ear.

“You can’t hide stuff from me anymore, Ari. I’m not a little girl.” There is a wealth of pain and sadness in her eyes as she looks at me and I feel heartsick.

“I know you’re not, and I hate that.” I throw a cursory glance over my shoulder. Deacon is already fast asleep, the exhaustion of the last couple of days still working its way out of his system. “How much did you see on Novo?” I whisper. We haven’t had any opportunity to talk about Mom since it all went down, and I’m worried about my sister. She’s far too young to deal with this crap, but I can’t wipe the recent past as much as I might long for the ability to do so.

“Enough,” Lily says, in a hushed voice.

“Do you want to talk about it?” My eyes search hers.

“Not yet.” She looks at me with such vulnerability that my heart bleeds. “It’s not fair that I got away and she didn’t.” She says this so quietly that I’m not sure at first if I’ve heard her correctly. Then a single tear snakes its way down her face and a sharp pain pierces straight through my heart.

“Mom loved you so much, Lily. She wanted you to be safe.”

“Why did she have to die?” Tears flow freely down her face now.

“I don’t know, Lil. Everything is screwed up right now. But I know Mom wouldn’t want you to feel any guilt over what happened to her, so you have to try. Okay?” Burying her head in my chest, she sobs unashamedly, and I hold her close until eventually she cries herself to sleep.

Stepping into the corridor, I find Dad and Cal eyeing each other warily. My gaze darts between them, trying to read the situation. Dad pushes off the wall and straightens. Cal reaches out and wraps his arms around me. I flinch, unused to PDAs in front of my dad. But he barely notices. His eyes are vacant as he lifts his fingers to his temples. Obvious worry is etched on his face, and I need to understand what else is going on. Wiggling out of Cal’s embrace, I position my hand on Dad’s arm. “We still need to talk.”

He lifts his head. “Not now, Ari.”

“Damnit, Dad! You have to tell me what’s going on.”

“And I will, but I can’t deal with this right now.” He shakes off my arm.

“But Dad …”

“For the love of God! I said not now, Ariana.” I balk and jump back, unaccustomed to dealing with his anger. Dad is always calm and it’s extremely rare that he ever raises his voice. Hurt blasts through me.

Cal drapes his arm over my shoulder as he tosses a filthy look at Dad. “Come on, Ariana. This clearly isn’t a good time.” His voice is steely. He propels me back the way we came, but I barely notice as numbness dulls all my senses.

I only surface from my trance-like state when we step out onto the observation deck. “What are we doing back here?”

“My dad is up here. Look,” he says, arm extended to the spot where Commander Remus stands. “If your dad won’t tell us what’s going on, then perhaps mine will.” Dad warned me to stay away from him so it’d be prudent to leave now. But my compelling desire to uncover the truth overrides all other concerns. Besides, Dad pushed me away, clearly unwilling or unable to tell me what the hell is going on.

Commander Remus angles toward us. “To what do I owe this pleasure?” he deadpans.

“We need some answers,” I reply. “What promise did you make my mother?” Now isn’t the time for pleasantries.

He gestures toward the steel bench behind us and we all sit down. “I spoke to your mother when she was incarcerated on Novo.” I draw in a sharp breath. “I called in a few favors, and I was planning on getting her out of there. But she made me promise to extract Lily first, even though she knew that would significantly jeopardize her own chances. When my position was compromised and I had to flee, she made me solemnly swear to get Lily out. She knew what it meant for her but …” His voice peters out and he drops his head into his hands.

Cal’s gaze swings to mine, and there’s a mass of differing emotions in his stare. I can only imagine how hard it is to hear this, to know that his dad loved my mom so much, yet he didn’t show his own wife the same affection. Cal hasn’t spoken in detail about the relationship between his parents, but he has told me enough to know that much. So this must be difficult for him to bear witness to. Stretching over, I squeeze his hand.

Commander Remus lifts his head, and I’m shocked to see telltale moisture on his skin. He looks at me holding his son’s hand and he smiles. It’s the first genuine show of warmth he’s displayed toward me. “Your mother didn’t know your father was still alive. She was so worried. She made me promise to look after her children.”

I clamp a hand over my mouth. That Mom died thinking we were all orphaned is ghastly. “I made arrangements for Lily before I fled Novo,” he continues. “When we arrived in Saoirse and I discovered that your father was still alive, I managed to get word through to him. One of my colleagues got Lily out and brought her to the Interstellar Space Station where your dad picked her up. Unfortunately, it was too late for Anneka by then.” He clenches his fists and his knuckles blanch white. “I never stopped loving her,” he admits, staring out the window.

Cal stiffens at my side. Then he hops up. “What about my mother? Did you love her at all?” A cold sneer laces his tone.

Commander Remus reviews his son. “I loved her as much as I was capable of loving her.”

“What the hell does that mean?” Cal yells.

“My heart always belonged to Anneka. There wasn’t much else to give. I thought in time that would change, but it didn’t. Your mom was a good woman. She deserved better.”

“You bastard!” Cal seethes. I stand up and reach out for him, but he swats my hand away. Raw pain burns the back of my throat. “Don’t … I can’t …I’m sorry, Ariana. This isn’t your fault … I just need some time on my own.” And for the second time today, I watch Cal’s retreating back as he stalks away from me again.

I peep out the window at the fish and wish I could teleport to join them. I feel boneless like my emotions have seeped into my bones turning them to jello. Flopping back down on the bench, I tilt back and close my eyes. Commander Remus sits silently at my side, but his emotions swirl invisibly around me, and I feel his confusion, his anger, and his yearning. It effectively distracts me. Opening my eyes, I stare at him. “What aren’t you telling me?”

“What?” A flash of apprehension colors his eyes.

“I can sense your emotions. They’re all over the place, and I know you are holding something back. I’ve felt it from my dad too. And if someone doesn’t tell me what the hell is going on, I am going to totally freaking lose my cool!” Pulling my knees into my chest, I glare at him.

“It isn’t my place to tell you.”

“Since when has that ever stopped you?” I snap.

“You know what, young lady? You’re right. This needs to come out into the open. And your dad will never summon the guts to do the right thing. I’ve spent two years arguing with your parents over this, and I’m done with it now.” He grinds down painfully on his teeth and I brace myself.

“Deacon isn’t your brother,” he says bluntly.

“What?” I stare at him incomprehensively. Of all the things I was imagining he’d say, this was so not on the list.

“He’s your half-brother. I’m Deacon’s father.”

CHAPTER 3

“What?” I slump onto the floor, barely conscious of the movement. My head is swimming and it feels like I’m having an out-of-body experience. If Commander Remus speaks the truth—and that’s a big if—then my mom is Deacon’s mom and Cal’s dad is his dad. I can’t even begin to process the shocking revelation.

“I don’t understand. It can’t be true. How?” I say, my voice barely louder than a whisper.

Nate smirks. “I would’ve thought the ‘how’ part was obvious enough.”

“Don’t make light of this,” I scream. “You know that’s not what I meant!”

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I’m not very good at this stuff.” He walks to the window and flattens his palms on the glass. “We had a brief … reunion eleven years ago. I didn’t realize your mother got pregnant and gave birth to a son. It only came to light at the time of the move to Novo.” He pushes off the window and crouches down in front of me. “I want to be a father to him.” He looks at me earnestly.

“Why?”

“He’s my son, and I want an opportunity to get to know him.”

I appraise him warily. I’m not buying it for a second. Blinking furiously, I’m finally starting to understand. “Deacon already has a dad so he doesn’t need you. And it entails being more than just a sperm donor. I know what went on in your house, and I’ve seen what you’ve done to Cal. You’re incapable of being a father to Deacon or anyone, and frankly I’m amazed that you’re even bothered.” Cal has shared stories of his childhood and it doesn’t make pleasant listening. After his mom died, he was basically left to fend for himself. It’s part of the reason why Cal isn’t fazed about getting married and starting a family. He craves what he never had growing up. I stand up and dart around his hunched form. “No wonder my dad is so mad.”

“I have every right to request this,” he says, straightening up. “And I’m not giving up, no matter what you and your father say. The sooner you both get to grips with that, the better.” He glowers at me before storming off.

Holy cow. This is … words fail me. And that’s if I’m even being told the truth. Maybe he’s making the whole thing up. It’s not like he’s in any way trustworthy. Okay, he may have helped Lily escape from Novo, but that’s his only redeemable quality.

Now it all makes sense—all the time he devoted to Deacon. And Deacon. Oh, God.

Deacon actually likes him.

As my brother’s face floats in front of my mind, his blond hair and blue eyes are so familiar that I don’t know how I didn’t see it before. He’s the spitting image of Cal and his dad; the same coloring, the same build, the same beautiful eyes. It was right there in front of my nose if I had ever truly looked. But then again, who in their right mind would even contemplate such a thing?

Cal and I share a brother.

I just can’t wrap my head around it.

While there is legally nothing inappropriate about us being in a relationship, it’s still kinda weird. And Mel has been like a surrogate sister to him these last few weeks anyway. How ironic.

Whipping a hair tie off my wrist, I pull my hair into a messy ponytail. I honestly don’t know how much more of the heavy stuff I can process. A hysterical laugh escapes my mouth. When did the world become such a fucked-up place? Looking back now on my aspirations for my military career, I have to acknowledge my naiveté. Even my anger at the authorities for stealing my memories pales in comparison with all I’ve had to endure in the last few months. There was a time when I longed for a bit of drama, a bit of action in my life.

It’s true what they say: Be careful what you wish for.

I stand and gather my thoughts. I know Dad said he didn’t want to talk to me now. Well, he’s just going to have to suck it up. I need to hear his version of events and that is not something that can wait for morning.

I stride purposefully toward the elevator and travel quickly to my family’s apartment.

I hammer on the door repeatedly until Dad opens up, hastily rubbing sleep from his eyes. “Ariana? What on earth are you doing? You’re going to wake your brother and sister.”

“Get dressed. We need to talk. Right. Now,” I demand.

“I understand you’re upset but …”

I cut him off dead. “I know.” I let the words hang in the air.

Dad stares at me, and then comprehension dawns. “That stupid son of a bitch,” he seethes.

“He told me the truth and I appreciate that. I am so sick of all the lies!” I spit. “How is lying to me about this helping anything?”

He looks at me intently. “All right. Let me pull on some clothes.”

He joins me a couple of minutes later, and we travel in strained silence to the lower level. “Where are we going?” I ask.

“There is a small coffee dock down here where we can talk. It’s more private than the cafeteria, and I expect it to be empty at this hour.” He holds the door open for me and I step inside.

The coffee dock is a small square room with numerous steel-topped tables and chairs. A self-service counter runs the length of the right-hand side, offering a variety of hot and cold drinks and snacks. I make a coffee while Dad swipes a bottle of water. We take our drinks and sit at a table in the farthest corner of the room. A man and woman sit at the opposite end of the dock, clutching plastic cups and talking in hushed voices. Otherwise, the room is deathly quiet and empty.

“Is it true? Is he Deacon’s dad?” I ask, the minute I plant my butt in the seat.

Dad slides his chair in and unscrews the bottle cap. He takes a slow swig of water and then looks me in the eye. “Unfortunately, yes.”

“Oh my God.” Disbelief smacks into me. There was a teeny tiny part of me that hoped it wasn’t true. “Mom cheated on you with him? How could she do that? Why did she do that?” I’m incredulous because I fully remember how besotted my parents were with each other, so completely in love.

“Your mom and I hit a bad patch a couple of years after Lily was born. Every marriage has its ups and downs, but I never once thought we wouldn’t ride the storm. And we got through it and everything was fine. I only found out about her and Nate the same time I discovered the truth about Deacon—a couple of weeks before we left Earth for Novo.”

I watch his throat work as he swallows a large glug of water. “She carried the secret with her for years.” His lips purse and I sense his pain. My heart aches for him. “We attended the Annual Military Gala Ball most every year. This one year, we were in the midst of the difficulties in our marriage, and we had a particularly nasty row during the event. I was a jerk, but still.” He pauses and closes his eyes. I reach across the table and place my hand atop his. “Your mom went back to the hotel, and I stayed at the ball ‘til the early hours. Turns out, she bumped into Nate. She was upset and they ended up in bed. As you do.” Bitterness cloaks his words.

“She didn’t tell me because she instantly regretted it. Later, she told me that in a weird way it actually helped her deal with our marital problems.” He snorts. “Actually things were much better between us after the ball, and when she announced she was pregnant, I was delighted. Your mother always believed Deacon was mine. We only identified the truth when Deacon attended his medical assessment before the move to Novo.”

“That’s why you and Mom were arguing so much?” I ask, recalling their constant bickering. I’d been so worried that they were on the verge of divorcing, and I couldn’t understand what had happened to cause them to argue so viciously.

“Yes. As you can imagine, it was the worst shock of all. Not only finding out that your mother had been unfaithful and had lied to me for years, but that she’d been unfaithful with him and he had fathered Deacon. I can’t adequately describe how angry I was with her. She swore to me that she didn’t know he was Deacon’s biological father, and in time, I did believe her. Because your mom wasn’t a bad person, Ariana.” He squeezes my hand. “I know she would never have allowed me to believe I was Deacon’s dad if she knew the truth. That revelation tore your mother apart. She never recovered from it, and the guilt weighed on her every single day.”

My coffee cup shakes in front of me and starts sliding across the table. A steady vibration rumbles under my feet. Dad and I exchange startled looks as a loud shockwave reverberates through the compound. We rise at the same time, and I sway unsteadily on my feet. Dad wraps his hand around mine and tugs me forward. “We need to get to Command Center. I have a real bad feeling about this.”

We run quickly, swerving and jolting as the facility trembles all around us. Dad punches in the code as soon as we reach the door, and we fling ourselves into the room. Commander De Luca barks out orders as he strides past the row of desks on the lower level. Frantic shouting echoes around the room. Calista appears in front of us, clutching Dad’s arm. “Government stealth-craft have surrounded us.”

I gasp. “We’re an open target!”

“Don’t worry, Ariana,” she says, patting my arm. “They won’t be able to penetrate the Invincia shield.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“The shield hides us and provides a barrier protecting us from enemy fire. The only way the shield can be breached is if we take a direct hit to the server. There’s a tiny gap in the outer hull, which can penetrate the server and wipe out the Invincia control, but the chances of them happening across the exact target location is extremely slim. And this is part of the new technology Saoirse has developed so neither Clementia nor the government is aware of it.”

“Oh, okay,” I admit, feeling a little more assured. “So what’s the plan?” I angle my head to look at her.

“We’re just going to sit tight until they retreat.”

Digital images of the stationary government fleet surrounding us display in squared segments on the back screen. Watching as they launch targeted missiles right in front of us is beyond a nail-biting experience. Though none of the missiles actually impact the base, each hit that bounces off the shield causes the compound to shake and shudder. Every jolt triggers my heart rate to shoot through the roof and my stomach to lurch unpleasantly. Every time, I’m fearful that they’ll get a lucky hit and obliterate us into smithereens.

The assault continues like this for the best part of an hour. Waves of nausea batter my body, and I clamp my mouth shut, willing it to retreat. Every tremor rocks the foundation, and after each hit, I wonder how much more the compound can withstand. The prospect of a watery grave is looming larger with every passing second. Eventually, I can’t resist my natural bodily reaction, and I race toward the bathroom, just as I hear my name being called out.

Dropping to my knees in front of the toilet bowl, I heave painfully. A steady hand lands on my shoulder, and if I wasn’t so nauseated, I’d probably have a coronary. “I’m here,” Cal says, peeling strands of loose hair back off my face. The ground sways and I thrust my hand outward to steady myself. Then I throw up again, moaning loudly as another bout of sickness lays claim to me.

Cal crouches on the ground behind me and wraps his arm tentatively around my waist. Pulling me back, he cradles me in his arms as I wait for the next onslaught to start. We continue this pattern a few more times until I’m certain there is nothing left in my stomach to expel.

I can barely force my legs to move, but I shuffle toward the door with Cal supporting me on one side. Then a particularly powerful aftershock rumbles throughout the facility and I topple to the side. Cal catches me in time, scooping me up into his arms. I’m far too weak to protest so I wrap my arms around the nape of his neck and bury my face in his shoulder.

He carries me out onto the main floor, and Dad’s voice is in my ear almost instantly. “What happened? Ari, are you all right?”

“Sick,” I mumble, having no energy to string together a sentence.

“Is it safe to return to our apartment?” Cal asks.

“Yes. A couple of the government stealth-craft have been wiped out from rebounded missiles. We don’t think they’ll risk further damage to their own fleet, so we expect the assault to cease imminently. It’s okay to go. Please look after my daughter.” His words carry an unmistakable edge.

“Of course,” Cal replies formally.

I nuzzle into his neck and focus on how great he smells the whole trip back. It’s a damn good strategy, and before I know it, Cal is placing me gently on our bed. A thunderous rumbling sound emits from Ben’s bunk and I jump. “His snoring is louder than the bombing,” I mutter feebly. If I weren’t so sick, I’d be giggling.

Cal chuckles lowly. “You’re not wrong. I can’t believe he slept through that.”

Lithe fingers undo the buttons on my shirt and I freeze. “What are you doing?”

“Helping you out of your clothes, or were you planning to sleep in your shirt and pants?” His forehead lifts and a grin curves up the corners of his mouth.

“Sounds fine to me.” I’m content to sweat in my clothes.

“Ariana,” Cal says, exasperation in his tone. “It’s not like I haven’t already seen you naked so I don’t understand the big deal. I’m just helping you into your sleep clothes. Okay?”

“Okay,” I gulp, realizing I’m being silly. Taking a deep breath, I lecture my inner self-consciousness, telling myself to grow up. Cal quietly replaces my clothes for my sleep shorts and tank top, taking extra care to be gentle. Then he tucks the comforter up to my chin and plants a soft kiss on my forehead. I’m asleep before he has even returned with the promised glass of water.

The sickness hasn’t abated the next morning, and I don’t object when Cal insists that I stay in bed. While he goes in search of breakfast, I try to empty my brain and will my body to fall back asleep. But it’s a futile exercise. I can’t switch my mind off, and now that there is nothing to distract me, everything that I’ve been trying to avoid thinking about rises to the fore.

The return of my pregnancy sickness has brought the issue of the baby to the forefront of my mind again. I’m still feeling conflicted over it. I don’t know that I’m ready to be a mom or that I even know how. These days, I’m barely capable of looking after myself, let alone a dependent child. Cal will be an amazing father; I have total confidence in him. It’s just me that I have little faith in.

And then there’s Zane. With a heavy heart, I realize that I need to accept that he’s gone; lost to me and this world forever. If there’s one thing I know about Zane, it’s that he would never let so much time go without contacting me. If he were alive, he would have found a way to connect with me by now. A sharp pain pierces my chest and gut-wrenching sobs lie entrenched in my throat. A deep ache builds inside me, and I feel crushing weight settle in every part of my body.

Everything that I feel for him, and have felt for him in the past, mixes with the confusion and sense of helplessness I feel when I think of what I’ve done. Of what happened to … Siva. I finally force myself to confront his name, and the images of that terrible morning swamp my mind. Pressing my palms to my forehead, I try to scrub my brain, desperately wishing I could reverse the clock and remain blissfully unaware.

Zane is the only other person in this entire world that knows what happened that fateful day. And now he is gone. And I’m left shouldering the burden of it and dealing with the overwhelming guilt all on my own.

Oh, Zane. Where are you? You can’t be gone. This is all my fault. What happened to Dad, Mom, Cal, you. It’s all on me. I brought this on us with my actions. I need to talk to you about it. I need you.

Tears leak out of my eyes, and I tug the comforter up over my head. How I wish I could inject myself with the Nostalgia elixir all over again, to wipe this permanently from my mind.

This changes everything.

Cal will never be able to accept this. And what about Deacon? What is Cal going to think when he finds out that Deacon is his half-brother? That his Dad craves a relationship with him? Part of me can’t understand how Mom could do this. But there’s that other part of me that can readily relate because I feel a pull in two different directions too.

The sound of approaching voices brings me back to the here and now. I swipe my hand under my eyes and smooth away the tears just as the door slides open and Cal appears in the room, flanked by Ben and Ruby. Strange smells waft from the covered plate in his hand and I gag. He steps forward quickly. “Do you need to go to the bathroom?”

Slamming my hand over my mouth, I shake my head. “Can you just get that out of here?” I ask, pointing to the plate.

Cal frowns. “You need to eat something, Ariana.”

“I can’t stomach anything now and that is making me feel sicker.” I pinch my nose closed with my thumb and forefinger attempting to block out the noxious odor. Cal steps out into the corridor, depositing the offending plate on the floor.

Once the door has closed, I release my nose. The smell still lingers, and I look around for a window, before remembering that we’re underwater. A small laugh escapes my mouth. Cal peers at me questionably. “I was looking for the window,” I explain.

“It takes some getting used to, doesn’t it?” Ruby says, perching carefully on the edge of the bed.

I straighten upright and press a hand over my hair self-consciously. I’m fairly certain I’m sporting a particularly nasty case of bed-head hair, and not the sexy, alluring kind. “That it does. The whole place smells so weird. Though, that could just be me.” Sudden realization hits me. My whole sense of smell has been totally whacko since I got pregnant.

“No, I agree. It smells so”—her eyes glaze over as she tries to identify the right word—“sterile and starched.”

We grin at each other. “How’s your leg?” I ask, inwardly cringing as I recall her ear-piercing screams back at the Clementia compound when she was trapped under a large piece of fallen debris.

“I’m just like this place now,” she says, flexing her leg with remarkable ease, “all shiny and new.” The wonders of modern medicine.

Cal and Ben wander off in search of Xander, leaving Ruby and I alone to chat. Though I have much to tell her, I don’t utter a word. Instead, I focus on an easier topic of conversation. “So, dish the dirt.” I drill her with a curious look.

“What?” she asks, palms raised in front of her.

“A few days ago, you said you had a hot boy of your own. Deets, please.”

Her skin flushes ever so slightly. “It’s nothing really. Um.” I stare at her. I’ve never seen her this tongue-tied. “I kissed Jaden.”

“Whoa! Hold up there. Jaden? As in Jaden Remus? Cal’s brother?” She nods shyly. “Totally didn’t see that coming,” I admit, tipping back against my pillow as a burst of nausea rises in my throat. “Seriously?” My face contorts unpleasantly. I honestly can’t fathom the attraction. Though he’s Cal’s brother, he is nothing like my fiancé, in either the looks or personality department. In fact, most of the time, I find him quite reprehensible.

“I know you have issues with him, but I think there’s more to him than meets the eye.”

“I’ll have to take your word for it.”

“It’s not like it’s a big deal, anyways,” she says, thrusting her fingers through her short dark hair. “It was only a kiss. Albeit, a pretty damn impressive one.” She smirks. Perhaps the brothers do have something in common, after all.

“So, are there any labels? What’s going on now?” I inquire.

“No, nothing like that. Then again, we were rather pre-occupied with our near-miss annihilation. You remember?”

“Hard to forget something like that.” My mood instantly darkens.

“Things have gotten really crazy, haven’t they?”

“Yep, you said it. It feels like I’m on a constant merry-go-round, lurching from one scary ride to another.”

“Wonder what the next one has in store?” Ruby ponders, eyeballing me. “Did your dad say anything about your likely assignment?

“No. We haven’t spoken about that.” There wasn’t time in between all the other dramas being played out.

“I hope I’m assigned to the lab. I actually can’t wait; it’ll be good to have a purpose. To be doing something useful for a change.”

I haven’t given any thought to what I’ll likely be doing, but now that Ruby has thrown down the gauntlet, I wonder what they have in mind for me. I can relate to Ruby’s sentiments. I’m itching to contribute to the revolutionary effort, though I think both Cal and Dad may have something to say about that. They can voice their objections all they want, but I will fulfill all that I’ve been trained to do. Being a soldier is all that I’ve wanted for as long as I can remember, and I’ll be damned if a little fact like being pregnant is going to hold me back.

The next couple of days pass by in agonizingly slow fashion. We are all bored silly at this stage. The nausea comes and goes but it’s manageable. Much to Cal’s disgust, Taylor has been personally assigned to care for me. I suspect Calista Corr has had a hand in that. While Dr. Taylor Jennings is the most outrageous flirt known to mankind, I couldn’t be in safer hands. He is Saoirse’s most prodigious doctor, and there’s no denying the man is a genius. I’m just grateful that whatever anti-sickness injection he’s giving me grants a reprieve from feeling ill all the time.

I’ve barely seen Dad so there’s been no time to continue the conversation. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear he was avoiding me. Commander Remus is also in the thick of it, so there’s been little opportunity for him to speak with Cal. Perhaps, I should’ve told him about Deacon, but I’m fearful that it’s going to be the cause of further discord between us and I’m loath to go there. Plus, I figure it’s something his dad should tell him. Nonetheless, I’ve been encouraging him on a daily basis to seek him out. The longer this goes on, the guiltier I feel for not divulging what I know.

I’m still trying to work out how I feel about it and worrying over the potential fallout. It doesn’t appear likely that Commander Remus will drop the subject, so we are going to have to tell Deacon and Lily about it soon. I can’t even contemplate what it’s going to do to my little brother. To find out that the man you think is your father actually isn’t has got to be one of the most shocking things you could ever discover about yourself. He’s too young to be told, and it’s the last thing any of us should be considering dealing with given our current fragile situation. But I know Cal’s dad is stubborn, and I sense he’s not going to let this drop.

We’re sitting in the cafeteria eating dinner and the normalcy is comforting. Lily sits to my right, deep in conversation with Ruby about her medical training. She’s already been assigned to the Medical Center, and from what she tells me, Taylor has taken her under his wing. I make a mental note to caution Taylor from exerting his usual flirtatiousness around her. She’s only just turned fifteen, and I can tell from the way she talks about him that she’s rocking a major crush. The last thing she needs is for him to indulge it in any way.

Cal taps on my arm, distracting me from my thoughts. “Hey, you in there?” he asks, his fingers lingering on my skin.

“Sorry. I was miles away.”

“You’ve been doing that a lot the last few days,” he admits, staring at me inquisitively.

I shrug. “There’s a lot going on.” Lifting my fork, I stab a potato. “Have you tracked down your dad yet?”

“Yeah. He wants to talk to me in the morning.”

Tightness stretches across my chest and I shift in my chair. “Good.” I shove a hunk of meat into my mouth and ignore the pensive way Cal is looking at me.

“You know what it is? Don’t you?” There’s no avoiding his probing gaze so I decide to come clean.

“Yes,” I admit, putting my cutlery down.

He leans back in his chair, his fists clenched at his sides. “I thought we agreed no more secrets?” he grits out.

“Yes, we did. But I’m not the one keeping this secret from you. And before you start criticizing, it’s not something you should hear from me. We can talk about it in the morning after you speak with your dad.”

He opens his mouth to respond, but the words die on his tongue as the large screen at the back of the cafeteria springs to life. Nothing, or no one, could quiet the entire room so rapidly. All eyes focus on the government seal and then President Calavero’s image appears in front of us.

“Citizens of Novo and Earth,” he begins. I squirm in my seat at the sight of him and a deep shudder works its way through my body. Fleeting thoughts that he could be my baby’s daddy always have this effect on me. Mentally shaking myself, I focus my attention on the broadcast.

“It has recently come to our attention that a group of unorganized militants have attempted to undermine the authority of the government by instigating rebellion. Such monstrous intentions threaten the future of our world and all that we’ve worked so hard to achieve in the last few years.” A chorus of jeers and blasphemies are shouted at the screen.

“I want to assure you that the government is taking all necessary actions to quash this threat and restore peace. If you are approached by anyone representing or claiming to represent this group, I advise you to exercise extreme caution. Any individual discovered to be colluding with the enemy will be immediately guilty of treason. All acts of treason are punishable by death or lifetime incarceration as decided by the Military Council on Novo.”

The image switches from the President to the exterior of NSAF. A row of Rangers, pristine in their uniforms, line up outside the main entrance. A group of seven men is on their knees in front of them. Hands cuffed behind their backs, they stare blankly at the screen. Blood stampedes through my veins and bile rises in my throat. I watch in complete shock as the Rangers aim and take fire. Seven bodies slump to the ground and horrified screams fill the air around me.

Next, the image switches to Earth, to a compound identified as a local rebel base in Texas. We watch, powerless, as the government fleet drop missile after missile on the Clementia facility, sending a huge spiral of smoke and fire shooting into the air.

The President finishes his rousing speech with a reminder to avoid all interaction with rebels or be prepared to pay the ultimate price. Then the screen blacks out.

It works as a very successful mood-killer, pretty much eradicating all conversation in the room. The previous light-hearted atmosphere is gone, replaced by a formidable sense of unease.

Cal and I spend a couple of hours in the Training Unit, which is similar in layout and structure to the one in the Clementia compound, though it’s been super-sized. I’m pleased to discover that Agent Leena has been assigned to look after the training here as well; it’s good to know we’re in competent hands.

We are walking back toward our apartment when the drone of matching footsteps causes us both to swivel around at the same time. At least a hundred soldiers, all clad in khaki green and black attire march uniformly forward. Each soldier shoulders a large rifle and carries a black satchel on his back. Anxiousness bleeds into the air. Their expressions are grim but resolute as they stride out of our line of sight. “That must be one of the first ground force units,” Cal says. “I hope they announce our assignments shortly before I crack up.”

“Where do you want to be assigned?” I ask, not actually needing an answer.

“I’d like to be part of the ground team.”

“Me, too,” I admit, pleased that we’re both on the same page.

His brow puckers and he opens his mouth to speak but obviously thinks better of it. However, he forgets that I can sense his emotions and disapproval leaches out of him in spades. Anger flares instantly inside me, and I’m on the verge of venting my feelings when he dips his head and plants a soft kiss on my lips. “Don’t say it. I don’t want to fight.”

And neither do I, because we’ve only just gotten over our last disagreement and I can only guess how things are going to go down once he finds out what his dad has to tell him in the morning. This argument can wait.

Ben is lying on his side in bed, messing around with a handheld digital screen. He’s so engrossed that he doesn’t even hear us enter or lift his head until Cal slaps him firmly on the back and snatches his attention. Shaking my head, I trot into the compact bathroom and change into my sleep clothes. I stare at my reflection in the mirror. Bruising shadows darken the skin under my eyes and my grayish pallor highlights the effects of my pregnancy sickness and lack of adequate sleep. I look like a hot mess though that’s the least of my concerns. Sighing, I open the door and join the others.

Ben’s close proximity does nothing to dampen Cal’s grabby hands, and in next to no time, I’m feeling all hot and bothered under the covers. His body lines up behind mine, and I can tell he’s dying to get all kinds of naughty, but there’s no way I’m having a repeat of the other morning. Nuh-uh. That’s definitely not happening. I still haven’t gotten over the embarrassment. So, I shove his hands away and move forward, creating some much-needed space. His head appears on my shoulder and I sigh loudly. “Behave,” I hiss under my breath.

“Spoil sport,” he mutters, brushing aside my hair and kissing my neck. I instantly flinch and his smug laugh tickles my eardrums. Settling back down on the bed, his arm snakes out and he tugs me back against his chest. “Go to sleep, baby,” he whispers. “I’ll behave. Scout’s honor.” I snort and Ben’s head swivels around. He shoots us a quick warning glance, and I force my eyes shut and will myself to sleep.

Zane is lying inert on a steel counter, a white sheet draped loosely over his lower body. Circular discs dot his chest in a strangely artistic format. The glare from the bright lights glints off the clinical, clean surfaces. A man steps forward, clothed in a blue gown with his hair secured under a matching blue hat. Raising gloved hands, he hovers over Zane and forces his eyelids open with one hand. He shines the flashlight into one eye, then the other. Turning around, he shakes his head at the man standing behind him. The man advances toward Zane, a silver blade in his hand. Dipping down, he raises his hand, and I watch in horror as he slices across Zane’s immobile chest.

CHAPTER 4

I’m surprised my screams haven’t roused the entire compound. I can still see Zane’s limp body as the man prepared to butcher him. A loud wail emits from my throat and I’m rocking back and forth on the bed, my arms clutched around my waist, desperately trying to hold myself together. I’m vaguely aware of Cal and Ben talking in hushed voices.

The click of the door as it closes startles me. “Baby,” Cal says, cupping my face. He kneels in front of me, eyes flaring with concern. “Tell me what you saw.”

I drag my lower lip between my teeth. My chest heaves as sobs clog the back of my throat. “It was Zane,” I say, sniffling. Cal’s fingers caress my skin in smooth circular patterns, and I focus on that activity to distract myself. “He wasn’t moving,” I whisper. “He … they …”

“You’re not making any sense,” he says softly, speaking like he’s talking to a child.

“I can’t make sense of what I saw.” My breath comes out harsh and ragged. “He was on a table, not moving, and two men were hovering over him, and one of them cut him and … oh God, I think he’s dead.” I bury my face in my hands and all the emotion I’ve been trying to smother bursts free. I cry loudly and consistently, and I know it’s not flattering, but Cal is there to console me; holding me on his lap, smoothing my hair, pressing his lips to my cheek, and whispering soothing words.

When I’m all cried out, I slant against his chest, and the smell of sleep and sweat is oddly comforting.

When Ben comes back, thrusting a bottle into my hand, Cal quickly and quietly updates him. A look of anguished pain darts across Ben’s face as he hugs me. I’d forgotten that Ben has access to his memories again so his thoughts of Zane now span the breadth of their full history. While Ben and Zane only became reacquainted in Clementia, they’d once been close as kids, united in their mutual love of technology.

Another thought crosses my mind. Has Cal regained his memories? If so, what things does he remember? He hasn’t mentioned anything to me, and it’s on the tip of my tongue to ask him when I stop myself. I can’t open up that particular topic, as it’ll only come full circle again. There’s no way in hell I want to talk to him about that. Thankfully, Cal hasn’t inquired into my memory recall since that first day we arrived here, and a room full of flesh-eating zombies couldn’t pry the words from my mouth.

Cal and Ben are my metaphorical crutches over the next couple of days, and I lean on them as if I physically need them to keep me vertical. Cal never leaves my side, and though he still has to have that talk with his dad, I’m too selfish to push the agenda. Dad is beside himself too, and concern for Zane overshadows everything else we have going on.

But not for long.

I’m in our apartment getting dressed—preparing to head to the group meeting where our assignments are being announced—when Cal comes storming into the room. Having woken to an empty bed, I’d puzzled over where he was. One look at his face now tells me all I need to know. “Your dad told you?”

He nods and collapses spread-eagled on the bed. “This has got to be the most messed-up shit yet. And we’ve dealt with a lot of crappy stuff recently.”

“I know,” I agree. Fastening the top button on my shirt, I sit down beside him.

“You should’ve told me. I can’t believe you sat on this for a few days and said nothing.” There’s an edge of condemnation to his voice that I don’t like.

“I was trying to wrap my head around it, and then the stuff with Zane happened.” It hurts to even say his name. I’m relentlessly reaching out to his mind but I’m still sensing nothing. Unable to accept the possibility that he’s gone, I’m fully aware that I’m clutching at straws. Surely, a piece of my heart would be missing if he were no longer a part of this world? I’d have to feel that. “Anyway, you needed to hear that from your dad, not me,” I continue.

His gaze softens ever so slightly, replaced quickly by a perplexed look. “I can’t believe it. It’s…” He hooks his hands behind his head, and I can feel the confusion spinning inside him. Twisting sideways, he turns to face me. “Your brother is my brother. How weird is that?”

I shrug. “I know. Can you imagine how weird it’ll be for Deacon when he eventually finds out? It’ll send him into a tailspin.”

“At least he seems to like my dad … his dad.” His voice falters. Rubbing a hand over his buzz-cut, he falls back on the bed.

I scowl. “It takes more than shared genes to be a dad,” I snap. “My dad is still his dad. He’s the one who has raised him and cared for him. Learning the truth isn’t going to change that.” I make a disgruntled sound.

“I’m not disputing that, Ariana,” he says, propping up on his elbows. “But my dad is his biological father, and Deacon has a right to know that, a right to form a relationship with him. He’s a part of our family too.” I try to rein in my anger, remembering that he’s only just discovered this. And, to give credit where it’s due, he’s handling this really well.

I decide to cut him some slack. “I never realized before how much he looks like you.”

“That’s funny,” Cal says, his lips curving slightly. I arch a brow. I can’t think of anything about this situation that’s funny. “That’s exactly what I thought when Dad told me. The first thing that popped into my head was how it was under our noses the entire time and neither of us noticed it.”

“Does Mel know?”

Cal nods. “Dad told the three of us just now. Mel’s just as shocked as I am.”

“And Jaden?” I ask, picturing his extremely irritating older brother. That I haven’t been in his company much since we arrived here is no surprise. I consciously avoid contact with him as much as I can.

“Jaden’s Jaden. Though he didn’t laugh at this.” Cal sits up fully, scrubbing a hand over his jaw.

“Well, there isn’t anything even slightly humorous about this situation.”

“I know,” Cal admits, staring off into space.

Conversation ceases after that. We are both locked in our thoughts, quietly trying to grasp this latest curveball, until it’s time to leave.

The amphitheater buzzes with excited chatter. I follow Cal as he descends toward the front. He stops at the second row and steps aside to allow me take a seat first. Dropping down beside Ben, I smile at him. He squeezes my arm. Ruby sits alongside him, flanked on the other side by Jaden of all people. A sneer automatically forms on my lips. Remembering that we’re connected now—in more ways than one—I suppose I’m going to have to make an effort with him. Just don’t expect me to like him. Noticing my eyes on him, he looks up and locks gazes. For once, he isn’t smirking as he stares at me wordlessly. Ruby looks between us quizzically, gesticulating with her hands. I subtly shake my head and she frowns.

A loud booming noise floods the room, effectively diverting all attention toward the podium. A group of ten men and women stand in front of us. Some I recognize and some I don’t. Dad, Commander Remus, Commander De Luca, and Calista Corr are among them.

Calista opens the session and quickly gets down to business. Assignments are announced in blocks. Medical assignments are first, and I smile when Lily’s name is included on the list of trainees. I give her a thumbs-up when her head twists in my direction. Others are stationed full-time in the compound while a large group will travel above ground to work on Vita removal.

Technology posts are presented next, and Ben secures his rightful place.

Agent Leena is announced as the Head of the Training Unit, and a group of Cadets is announced as part of her team. Some will be assigned above ground at a later stage to help prepare all new recruits for war. I hear Mel’s audible gasp and feel her anguished pain when she’s announced as Agent Leena’s assistant. Swiveling in her chair, she pins Cal with a dark glare. Peeking sideways at him, I spot the knowing smile on his face.

He wouldn’t.

He did.

I shove my elbow into his stomach and he grimaces. Mel shoots me an appreciative look.

Appointments are made to the Propaganda Cell next, and I join Ruby in her amazement when her name is announced. This team will work on marketing and communications, helping share information about the revolution and preparing regular information bulletins for citizens of Earth, and it’s hoped, Novo.

Deacon is assigned with all the other younger children to the Educational Center, and I settle down in my seat. That’s both my siblings safe and out of harm’s way. Though I’ve chastised Cal for interfering in his sister’s fate, I have to acknowledge that I would’ve done the same thing if either Lily or Deacon had been assigned a dangerous mission.

Military assignments are naturally introduced last. It’s the biggest group by far, and individually calling out names would take forever. Dad sweeps his hand across the holographic screen and lists of names appear line by line under individual unit assignments. Dad introduces each unit one at a time and allows adequate time for the group congregated in front of him to check through the names.

A team is permanently assigned to the Command Center to oversee operations and drive the war effort from here. When Dad and Cal’s dad are announced as the leaders of this effort, Cal and I exchange worried looks. Considering neither of them are fans of the other, and factoring in the personal war that’s brewing over Deacon’s parentage, I couldn’t be more surprised. This doesn’t bode well.

Commander De Luca is in charge of the ground units, which make up the bulk of the teams. The majority will travel with medical teams on protective duty while they work above ground. Cal punches the air when his name displays on the screen, and I roll my eyes. I peer carefully as each name lists, anxiously looking for mine. But it doesn’t appear and I frown. Cal looks at me inquisitively, but I don’t miss the look of relief that flits across his face.

A few units are assigned to guard Velo entry points around the world, and a couple of guys in the row behind us grumble loudly, clearly unhappy at missing out on the action. A couple of units are assigned to the remaining Clementia compounds, tasked with extracting genuine supporters before Clementia wipe out the rest of their operation. Dad explains that the plan is to take control of the government owned warehouses, which operate as temporary dwellings and rehouse rescued rebels and Saoirse soldiers there.

I stifle a yawn as further lists of names roll across on the screen. This is becoming tiresome, and I’m edgy to see where I’ve been assigned. When two units are revealed under assignment to the stealth-craft hangar, I’m confident that this is my new home, until the list concludes and my name still hasn’t been announced.

The screen blacks out and Dad confirms conclusion of the assignment announcement. I shunt forward in my seat and attempt to catch his attention. He purposely ignores me and steam practically flies out of my ears. I feel an urge to jump up and shout ‘Hey! What about me?’ but that would only draw unwelcome scrutiny. Instead, I seethe in my seat, my rage intensifying with each minute that passes.

I tune out as Calista talks about the strategy for each team and outlines the plan for implementing the real revolution. A loud cheer reverberates around the room, the sound echoing abnormally against the high ceiling. “What’d I miss?” I whisper to Cal.

“Ben has figured out how to disable the Vita chip en masse, and Calista just confirmed that all those with implants are safe.” Ben stands in his seat and awkwardly accepts acknowledgment. When he sits back down, his face is as red as the sneakers he’s wearing today. I start to grin until I remember that I’m still mad.

“It’s a huge step forward,” Calista’s voice rings out loud and clear, successfully muting the room again. “But we still need to organize individual extraction of the chips to ensure everyone is safe from government control. That remains top priority, and everyone’s efforts should be focused on our central goal. Thank you for your attention. Meeting dismissed,” she concludes.

I hop up instantly. Cal places a restraining hand on my arm. “Ariana.” His voice contains a clear warning in it.

“Don’t Ariana me! Did you have a hand in this?” I tug on his wrist and pull free.

“What? No!” I believe him but that doesn’t mean I’ve misread the blatant look of relief on his face.

“You’re happy about it though.” My hands perch on my hips.

“Hell, yeah,” he says, stepping out onto the stairs and lifting me by the waist. Motioning with his hand, he draws my attention to the impatient line forming behind me. I step aside and let everyone pass. Ruby shoots me a sorrowful look, but quickly flees hand in hand with Jaden when she spots the scowl on my face.

“Ariana,” Calista says, appearing alongside Cal and me. “Your father and I would like a word with you please.”

Nodding tersely, I follow her out by the side of the stage. We walk down a narrow corridor and into a formal meeting room. Dad sits around a small rectangular table, and Calista takes the chair next to him. Cal and I sit down across from them.

The smell of betrayal is ripe in the air.

“What have you done?” I demand, eyeballing him.

“Calm down, Ari. Give me a chance to explain,” he replies in an infuriatingly calm voice.

Cal laces his fingers through mine. Dad’s gaze lowers to our conjoined hands, and his face contorts like he’s just swallowed a whole chili. My inner devil plants a super childish idea in my mind, and I act on it immediately, knowing full well that this will really push Dad’s buttons.

Twisting in the chair, I move toward Cal and meld my lips to his. Prying his lips open, I explore his mouth with my tongue and kiss him deeply. Most other guys would probably cringe and pull away, but Cal is more confident than most guys his age. And he’s not one to pass up the opportunity to indulge in some lip-syncing, whether we have an audience or not.

“That’s enough, Ariana,” Dad says, his self-control rattled.

I pull back from Cal and petulantly swipe my fingers across my lips. “What? You told me to calm down. He calms me down.” Though, that’s actually only partly true. Hormones run rampant inside me, feeding a steady stream of delicious warmth to every corner of my body. My attraction to Cal is off the charts. The slightest touch ignites my insides in seconds. But Cal also has the ability to soothe and comfort me in a way that no one else can. Wait up, my inner devil speaks up again. So did Zane. I mentally punt-kick the scheming devil into oblivion and instantly banish the thought.

“If you want to be treated as an adult, then you need to behave like one,” Dad says, placing sturdy arms on the table.

“And you need to stop treating me like a child. Why haven’t I been given a military assignment? You know I want to go above ground. I want to use the skills I’ve been taught.” My eyes flare with the intensity of my anger.

“The middle of a warzone is no place for a pregnant girl,” Calista says, speaking up for the first time.

“You have got to be kidding me?” I look at Cal. If I thought for a second that I’d get his support, I’m wrong. I can tell by the look on his face that he backs this wholeheartedly. “You agree with this?” My voice sounds artificially high, bordering on hysterical.

“Your dad is right. It wouldn’t be safe. I know how much you want this, but there are other ways you can help.”

He places a steadying hand on my arm but I shove it away. “Right. So there’s no point discussing this considering I’m outnumbered on all sides? This is damn ridiculous, and totally unwarranted.” I slam my hand down hard on the tabletop. “So I’m pregnant, it’s not that big of a deal.” Cal’s face pales and he sucks in a wince. I ignore that. “I can take additional precautions, and I know what to do and how to take care of myself. I would never do anything to put myself or my baby in harm’s way. I was one of the best Cadets in our year. This is just stupid.”

“No one is saying you are incapable, Ari,” Dad says, leaning forward. “This is about protecting you, keeping you safe, and making the best use of your talents.” The way he says the word stalls me.

“What do you mean by that?”

“Your psychic abilities could prove very useful to the cause,” Calista says, crossing one elegant knee over another.

“How?” I stare at her curiously, not grasping how my extra-sensory gifts can help in any way.

“We need you to work on your visions,” she explains. “If you were able to predict what the government has planned before it actually happens, that will give us a much-needed edge. Think of how many lives you could save if you can predict their every move?” Her eyes gleam with excitement.

“There’s just one problem with that plan. I have no idea how to control them and no way of conjuring them at will.” I slump in my chair.

“That’s why we’d like to send you to someone who can teach you how to control your gift,” Dad says.

My eyes flit between the two of them, and I’m conscious of Cal straightening in his chair. “Who?”

“We want to send you to Greece to continue your training with Raina’s grandma,” Dad says.

“What the what?” I hop up. “You’re sending me away? How the hell is that safe?” I twirl my hands in the air.

“Taylor will go with you to monitor your pregnancy, and we’ll assign a protective detail as an escort,” Calista says.

“Oh, hell to the no,” Cal inputs. “She is not going anywhere with that pervert.”

“Cal,” I sit back down in my seat and face him. “He isn’t a pervert. The world’s biggest flirt? Yeah. But not a perv.”

“Can we focus on the important thing here, please?” Dad says, shaking his head in frustration.

“I’ll go with her. I’ll be her escort,” Cal offers, the words flying out of his mouth with underlying urgency.

“You’ve received your assignment, Cal. Your father and I discussed this already. You are needed on the front line. Besides, your ability to safeguard my daughter is compromised by your feelings for her. You’re too close. She will be safer with someone else.”

Cal jumps up so quickly that my eyes struggle to follow his motion as he darts around the table and yanks Dad up by his shirt. He lifts him off the ground easily. “How dare you! I am more than capable of keeping my fiancée and baby safe. How many others on this compound have been part of the Novo CSS program? I could throw you against that wall now and squash you like a fly. It’d be that easy.” Aggression zings through his veins, and the look on his face scares me half to death. I believe him. There’s no doubt in my mind that he would be more than capable of protecting me adequately, distracted or not by his feelings. I also don’t doubt that he could fling my dad across this room if he chose to. That thought propels me into action.

I’m by his side instantaneously, my hand fisting in his shirt. “Cal, let him down. Please. He may not be in my good books right at this minute, but I still love him. Don’t hurt him.”

My words do the trick, and Cal places him back down on the ground. “I’m going with her,” he growls, pacing back and forth in front of me.

Cupping my hands around his face, I force him to look at me. His eyes stay fixated on mine as his gaze gradually steadies. I let out the breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding. You could cut the tension in the room with a chainsaw.

“If I agree to this,” I say, throwing my dad a scathing look, “then I’d love nothing more than to have you there with me. But you’d end up hating me. Because I know how much you want to be part of the action. That’s where you belong.”

“I don’t want to leave you on your own. Not when you’ll be so far away,” he pleads, snagging me into his chest.

“I won’t be alone.” My voice is muffled against his shirt.

“Hhmm. Yeah, you’ll have Taylor,” he growls.

Dad lets out an exasperated sigh. “Let’s talk about this later, okay?” I say, reluctantly shucking out of his embrace.

“You’ll be safe in Greece. And that’s the best thing you can do for me, and for the cause. Sleep on it and we’ll discuss it again in the morning,” Dad suggests.

“Fine. But it’s only because I’m done with this conversation.” I walk toward Dad. “You should have forewarned me.” I place my hand gently on his chest, my earlier anger flitting away like leaves in the breeze. There’s a minute part of me that’s actually starting to feel excited at the prospect. But I’m not admitting that now.

Dad deserves to stew a bit.

We are quiet on the journey back to our apartment. Cal’s arm drapes across my shoulder as we walk and my arm rests on his lower back. I love the feel of his body against me and I’m already questioning the wisdom of talking him out of coming to Greece with me. God knows how much I’ll miss him. But war means sacrifices in the name of the greater good. We have to accept that it’ll get harder before it gets easier. And despite everything I’ve endured in the last couple of weeks, I feel hope building inside me and the thought lifts my mood.

“Ari!”

I screech and drop to my knees. I think I’ve almost given Cal a heart attack. Tears leak out of my eyes.

“Zane? Zane? Is that really you?” I slide over to the wall and tuck my knees up under my chin.

“Yes, baby. I’m alive.”

My body shudders as some of the pent-up stress I’ve been hoarding releases in a frantic flurry.

“Oh thank God. I thought you were …” I can’t finish the sentiment. Steady hands land on my shoulder and I peer up at Cal. “It’s Zane,” I tell him, “he’s alive.” I try, and fail, to conceal the wide smile that transforms my features.

“Oh.” That one word hides so many emotions. “Um, that’s good.” It sounds like anything but. He drops down beside me, pressing his back against the wall.

“Where are you?” I ask Zane, honing in on his surroundings. He’s in a small room with white painted walls, a bed, a desk, and a steel door off to the right. It’s sparse and sterile, giving little clue to his whereabouts.

“I’m on Novo.”

“Oh no! How did you end up there? Wait!” I raise my palms in front of me, though it’s silly because he’s not here. “Are you still in a coma?” I ask, the thought only now occurring to me.

“No. They gave me a heart transplant. I’m alive and totally fine. Actually, better than fine. I feel great.”

“Oh my God. That’s awesome. They’re still assholes, but they gave you a new heart, that’s wow.” Tears roll down my face, and Cal lifts a finger to wipe them away. I try to put a leash on my feelings for his sake, but it’s damn hard. I can’t ever recall a time when my emotions were so all over the place. Then I stop that thought. Yes, I can. My face drops as the recollection resurfaces in painful detail.

“I remember everything,” I tell him.

“What?”

“They removed my Vita and all my memories have returned. I know about Siva.”

“You know that was the only thing they did to you that I was glad about. Because you were so torn up over it. It almost destroyed you.”

“I know. I remember. I’m sick even thinking about it now.”

“I need to be with you. Can you talk to your dad and see if there is anything they can do to get me out of here? Also, advise him that Calavero found out about my special project, and he’s forcing me to replicate it here.”

“What special project?”

“There isn’t time to explain. Your dad will understand.”

“Okay,” I say, standing up. “I’ll go to him right away.”

Cal rises and looks at me inquisitively. “We need to talk to my dad. I’ll explain on the way.

“I’ll check in with you later,” Zane says.

“Sure. And Zane?”

“Yeah.”

I bite down on my lip. “I’m so happy you’re okay. You had me so worried.”

“Sorry about that. But I’ve been unconscious for a few days while they operated on me and then while I was recovering.”

“I know it’s not your fault. All that matters now is that you’re okay. We’ll get you out of there. Stay safe.”

“I love you, Ari.”

The usual concern builds in my chest, but the happiness I feel at his wholeness overrides anything else. I can sort out everything later. For now, I want him to know how much he means to me. Thinking you’ve lost someone is a hell of a way to gain perspective. “I love you too.”

I don’t feel as guilty knowing I haven’t said it out loud.

I fill Cal in on the way to Command Center, and he listens without interruption. Once we arrive and we locate Dad, I explain it all again. My throat is hoarse from talking and my voice sounds rougher than normal. Cal steps away momentarily and returns with a glass of water. I take it gratefully, smiling up at him. He takes such good care of me, no matter how often I put him through the wringer.

Not for the first time, I think of how I don’t deserve either of them in my life.

Cal holds my hand on the way back to our apartment, but a layer of tension has settled between us, like an invisible wall forcing us to keep our distance. My warring emotions threaten to overwhelm me. I’m so happy that Zane is alive, and now that Dad and Calista have promised to mount a rescue mission, I’m thrilled at the prospect of seeing him again. I need to talk to him about Siva and figure out what to do about it. But I also know that he’s going to confront me about my feelings for him, now that he understands I’ve access to all my memories again. And the thing is, I can’t figure out how I feel.

It’s testament to Zane’s considerable maturity that he didn’t even go there before.

How is it possible to have such strong feelings for two different boys? And where the hell is the manual that tells you how to deal with these things? I miss Mom every day, but never more so than at this moment.

I’m totally distracted in my thoughts so I barely acknowledge the fact that Cal jerks at my side. It’s only when I hear a sweet, clear female voice and accompanying urgent footsteps that I’m jolted out of my inner monologue.

“Cal!”

Tipping my head up, I watch as a stunning blonde-haired girl runs toward us and flings herself at him.

CHAPTER 5

Cal yanks his hand from mine and grabs the strange girl into a fierce hug, his arms lifting her clear off the ground. What the hell? Envy rears its ugly head. The girl has her arms clasped tightly around the nape of his neck and her eyes are closed. I use the opportunity to scope her out.

She stretches over me by a good few inches even though I’m considered quite tall for a girl. Her long blonde hair is effortlessly beautiful, flowing smoothly over her shoulders. She wears the Saoirse solider uniform of black top, pants, and khaki jacket and somehow manages to make it look like she’s modeling the latest designer collection. She’s pressed tightly against Cal, but even still, I can tell that she’s in obvious good shape with curves in all the right places. My stomach curdles unpleasantly, and for a fleeting moment, I fear I’m going to be sick.

“Oh my God, Amber,” Cal says, finally placing her on the ground. “It’s so good to see you.” His arms lie casually around her waist and a gut-wrenching pain knots in my stomach. I don’t like this one little bit.

Her eyelids flutter open and she beams up at him. “You too.” Her gaze never leaves his as she stares at him adoringly.

I’ve had enough of this. I cough loudly. She drags her gaze away from him and glances curiously at me. Cal releases his arms and steps sheepishly toward me. I try to keep my face impassive but it’s challenging. All I feel like doing is launching myself at her and scraping my nails down her face. I’m frightening even myself with the strength of my feelings.

And then it hits me.

This must be what it’s like for Cal every time he has seen me with Zane, and vice versa.

Newfound empathy develops with the realization.

Cal clutches me into his side. “Amber, I’d like you to meet my fiancée, Ariana.”

“Pleased to meet you,” I say, shaking her hand. My newly acquired acting skills are coming in handy again.

“Fiancée?” She does a double take as she shoots Cal a look.

“Yes. Fiancée,” I say, thrusting out my hand and practically shoving my ring in her face. Suck that up. “And we’re expecting a baby,” I explain sweetly. Cal looks at me as if I’ve just sprouted wings. Then a knowing smirk tugs up the corners of his mouth. He barely conceals his chuckle behind a cough. I wrap my arm around his waist and dig my nails into his side. He doesn’t even flinch. “So, how do you two know each other?”

“We used to date,” Amber says. My face pales. “But it was ages ago,” she says quickly, dismissing her comment all too readily.

“Oh,” my voice comes out squeaky and I cringe inwardly.

“Amber?” A shrill voice calls out beyond us. “Oh my God!” I turn around as Mel advances. She throws herself at Amber and they hug tightly.

Cal turns his attention to me. “You okay?”

“Peachy. Why wouldn’t I be?” There’s no way I’m admitting the extent of my jealousy.

“How are you here?” Mel asks, looping her arm in Amber’s.

“I joined forces with Saoirse about three months ago and I’ve been training with them ever since. Ah, Mel, it’s great to see you.” She hugs her again, and I have to resist the urge to throw my eyes to the heavens.

Cal stares at me, a funny expression on his face.

“Stop staring at me,” I hiss.

“You’re jealous,” he whispers in my ear.

“No, I’m not,” I lie, suddenly fascinated with my toes.

He tilts my chin up with his finger. “You’re such a bad liar.”

I purse my lips. “Okay, I’m jealous. Happy now?” I snap.

“There’s no need to be jealous.” His fingers clasp my chin softly.

“Just like there’s no need for you to be jealous of Zane,” I blurt out.

His mood instantly darkens. “This isn’t the same thing and you know it.” He drops my face.

Glancing sideways, I only now notice how Mel and Amber are quietly watching the drama play out. Embarrassment and anger churn inside me. “I’m going to head back. Let you all catch up. I’ll see you later.” I can’t even look at him as I say this.

“Fine,” he says tersely.

“Nice to meet you, Amber.” I force a smile on my face, but I’m sure it’s as fake as the look of understanding on her face. “See you later, Mel.”

I urge my feet to move as fast as they can. My heart pounds and there’s a strange blend of emotion burning the back of my throat.

The bed dips as Cal lowers himself in under the covers. Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I turn and look at him through a blurry haze. “What time is it?”

“After twelve,” he whispers. “Sorry to wake you.”

Conducting a quick mental calculation, I frown as I realize he’s spent more than five hours with his ex-girlfriend. “That must’ve been a hell of a reunion,” I snark.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he hisses.

My vision is clearer now and I see the anger in his eyes though I don’t fully understand it. If I’d disappeared with Zane for that length of time, he’d have every right to be mad at me. It appears I’m not allowed to express those sorts of opinions. “Who is she really?”

“She’s my past, Ariana. But she’s also my friend, unless you’re saying that I’m not allowed to have friends who are girls?” He props up on one elbow and eyeballs me.

“Of course not. I don’t own you or control who you call a friend. I’m curious. You never mentioned her before.” My fingers twist in the comforter.

“Because I didn’t remember her until a couple of days ago.”

He looks at me strangely, some unknown element in his stare. Then it dawns on me. “Your memories have returned? Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Why haven’t you?” The challenge flares behind his eyes.

I’ve walked right into a hole, and I don’t know how to dig myself out of it. Diverting my gaze, I purposefully avoid answering his question.

“You’re as bad as your father.” He practically spits the words out.

That presses all the wrong buttons. My face darts to his, an angry flush already spreading across my cheeks. “Excuse me?” My eyes narrow as I glare at him.

“Concealing things. Refusing to face up to reality.” His eyes glimmer with rage.

“How dare you speak about my father in that way.” I’m all up in his face, and his dizzying breath blows across my face, temporarily distracting me. Mentally cursing my damned hormones, I push the yearning aside.

I don’t know whether I want to kiss him or kill him.

“Did he tell you that my dad has been trying to connect with Deacon from the time we moved to Novo, but your parents were insistent on keeping him away?”

“What?” I falter, for this is news to me.

“Thought as much. He’s been trying to be a father to Deacon, and your dad is blocking him because he can’t face facts.” He clenches and unclenches his fists repeatedly.

Dad hasn’t said anything to me about this, but I know my parents, and if they were hesitant, it was because it was in Deacon’s best interests. They have always prioritized our needs over their own. There can be no other explanation. “That’s totally unfair. My parents were only trying to protect Deacon.” My voice has raised an octave and Ben stirs behind me.

“Bullshit. Your dad can’t deal with the fact that his wife cheated on him, and he’s punishing my dad by keeping Deacon at arm’s length. It wasn’t enough that he stole her in the first place, now he wants to steal Deacon away too? That’s not gonna happen.”

“Oh my God,” I say, sitting bolt upright in the bed. “He has totally suckered you in. My dad is doing this to protect Deacon because he’s too young to process this now. Imagine what it will do to him?”

“He has a right to know who his father is.” He clenches his teeth.

“I’m not saying he doesn’t, Cal. But the timing has to be right. You can’t honestly tell me that your dad wanting to tell Deacon now is anything but pandering to his own selfish need?”

“Wake up, Ariana! Stop being so gullible.” He jabs his finger into my chest.

Blood boils in my veins and I thrust his finger away. “I know the man my father is and his actions are honorable. Dad would never use Deacon to exact some type of imagined revenge. Only yesterday you were disgusted with your dad for his attitude towards your mom and now you’re championing his cause?” I poke him in the chest repeatedly and I feel like screaming my head off in frustration.

A look of thunderous fury crosses Cal’s face and his knuckles blanch white. A tiny sliver of fear builds inside me. I shouldn’t push him so hard when aggression still simmers in his veins. But the crap coming out of his mouth is flipping my rage-ometer like a hyena on steroids. I sense Cal’s inner turmoil as he wrangles to keep a lid on his temper. Abruptly, he flips back the comforter and climbs out of the bed. He yanks on his pants and boots and grabs his shirt. “Where are you going?”

“I’m not sleeping here,” he seethes, his back turned to me.

“Suits me fine,” I retort.

He skulks out of the apartment without so much as a backward glance. I flop back down on the pillow as a deluge of tears engulfs me and I sob myself to sleep.

I wake the next morning with a pounding pain in my head. Twisting around, I stare at the space where Cal’s head usually lays. I reach out my hand and his side of the bed feels empty and cold.

A lot like my heart.

“Are you okay?” Ben asks.

Scooting back in the bed, I yank the covers up under my chin. “Did you hear all that last night?”

“Some of it,” he admits. “Is it true? Deacon is Cal’s half-brother?”

I nod solemnly. “Damn,” Ben says, cursing under his breath.

“We only just found out.” I tuck my legs underneath me.

“I don’t know what to say,” Ben says, sliding his bare legs out from under the comforter and sitting on the edge of the bed. I wish he’d pull on a pair of pants. It feels weird to be in here alone with both of us semi-naked.

“Neither do I,” I admit. There is silence for a few minutes but it’s not uncomfortable. “Do you know Amber?” I ask, hoping to glean some info on the sly.

“Amber?” His brow furrows as he looks at me. “Amber Johnson? Cal’s ex?”

“Yep. Her.” He looks at me expectantly. “She showed up yesterday.”

“Wait? Amber’s here?” He hops up and starts getting dressed.

“Does everyone know her?” First Mel, and now Ben. If their reactions are anything to go by, Amber was someone significant.

I feel anything but significant at this minute.

“She was Cal’s girlfriend for about a year. They only broke up a few months before the move to Novo. She’s a cool girl. I can’t wait to hear what’s been going on with her.” He tugs a shirt over his head and then sinks down on the bed. He clearly sees something in my expression because he reaches over and hugs me. “You have nothing to worry about, Ari. They were only fourteen when they went out; it wasn’t serious. It’s nothing like what you two have.”

“Hhmph. Doesn’t look that way to me. He couldn’t wait to get out of here last night.” A humiliating tear sneaks out of my eye and Ben’s look softens.

“That wasn’t anything to do with Amber. You and Cal have a lot going on right now. You need to talk. Properly talk. Whatever went on—is going on—with your dads should be left to them to sort out. You two shouldn’t get involved.”

“That’s easier said than done.”

“Mind over matter,” he says, tapping a long finger against his temple.

“You are always so wise,” I say, reaching out and hugging him quickly. “Sometimes I honestly can’t figure out how you and Cal are such good friends,” I tease.

“Believe me, I know.” He grins. “But don’t underestimate Cal. He’s full of wisdom too. You just have to dig deep.”

I want to dig deep, to delve under his skin, and truly get to understand my fiancé, but every time we get close to connecting on a genuine emotional level, some crap gets thrown at us and we both retract into our shells.

I wonder how long that can continue before we get separated inside our own worlds.

Ben drags me to the cafeteria for breakfast by guilting me out over the baby. Eating for two and all that malarkey. If he keeps this up, I figure I’ll have to add him to the list of over-protective men in my life. Secretly I’m pleased that he cares. Ben is one of the good guys, and his little pep talk has done me the world of good. I’ve decided to force some food down and then I’m going to locate Cal and sort everything out once and for all.

My happy bubble shatters into smithereens the second I spot Cal and Amber seated side-by-side, heads bent over and deep in conversation. Ben’s eyes follow mine, but I’ve turned on my heel before he can say anything to me.

I trot to the one place that holds any possibility of calming me down: The observation deck. Tears roll down my face as I kneel in front of the glass window, wiggling my fingers like a crazy chick at the fish outside. Perhaps I’m overreacting, but the fact that Cal went and talked to her is eating me up from the inside. I have a real bad case of headache and heartache, and I’m truly fed up of feeling like this.

Sensing his presence before he sits down, I don’t turn my head to look at him. I don’t want him to see the moisture on my skin or the hurt hiding behind my eyes—to know that I’m so weak when I used to be so strong.

“Ariana,” Cal says, gently patting my arm.

I stare at his arm and then lift my head. It hurts so much to look at him right now, the memory of all the nasty things we said to each other still too fresh in my mind. The rawness of the betrayal I feel is too potent. With remarkable self-composure, I take his hand off my arm and drop it back at his side. “Leave me alone.” My voice sounds hollow.

“We need to talk.”

“I don’t want to talk to you right now.” I focus on the window.

“Stop being so childish.”

My head whips around and I narrow my eyes. “I’m childish? When you’re the one who keeps running away? You have walked out on me three times in as many days. Don’t even attempt to lecture me.”

“I’m sorry about that,” he says, reaching for me again.

“Don’t touch me,” I warn. I notice the change in him the second it happens. His face scrunches into a sneer.

“Are you mad at me because of what I said last night or because of Amber? Because if it’s her, then it’s ridiculous.” He climbs to his feet and stares down at me.

I don’t like feeling so small beneath him so I haul myself up and straighten my spine. “It’s both, Cal. You went to her instead of talking to me? Have you any idea how that’s made me feel?”

He snorts and every muscle in my body locks up. I think I might hit him; such is the strength of my anger. “Are you for real?” He lowers his head so his eyes penetrate mine. “Of course, I know how that feels. It’s exactly how I feel every second of every day when Zane is around.”

Oh, here we go. “So what? This is payback?”

Cal’s whole body shudders violently, and I consciously step back. He slams his fist repeatedly into the steel bench, and the screeching sound of metal pummels my head like a hammer. Stopping abruptly, he lies back against the glass window, resolutely avoiding my gaze. I’m glad because I can’t imagine what emotions are written all over my face.

Finally, he pushes off and risks a look at me. “How can you say that to me? You haven’t a fucking clue. I don’t even know who you are anymore.” His voice, like his face, is devoid of life. He waits expectantly, but I’m incapable of responding because he has unwittingly hit the nail on the head. He doesn’t understand how much I connect with that sentiment, for I don’t even know who I am anymore.

I can’t deny that statement, but I won’t confirm it either. So I stay mute. He shakes his head and casts one long look at me before he walks quietly off.

Tick number four on the list.

I spend the remainder of the day hiding from him. I desperately need to talk this out with someone, but when I locate Ruby, she’s locked in an embrace with Jaden, and I make a swift exit before she notices me. There is no one else I can confide in, and the isolation of my situation hits me full force, only adding to the sense of despondency I feel.

I head down to the cafeteria ahead of the dinnertime rush. I’m planning on a grab and run so I can get out of there before I bump into anyone I don’t want to. I’m almost on the home stretch when Amber steps into the room. I’d pretend not to see her, but it’s too late. Walking briskly toward her, I force myself to nod pleasantly as I pass. “Wait up, Ariana. Do you have a minute?” She touches my elbow.

“Now isn’t a good time.” I glance at her hand and she releases me.

“The last thing I want to do is come between you and Cal. I thought we could talk, get to know each other a little better?” She appears genuine, and I sense no ulterior motives, but still. I don’t know her, and she doesn’t know me, and I can’t ever see us becoming friends.

“Cal and I are cool,” I lie. “Nothing for you to worry about.” I shrug casually.

“Oh.” She frowns. “I thought … Cal said … never mind.”

That stops me in my tracks. “He talked to you about me?” I can barely utter the words, I’m gritting my teeth so hard.

“It’s not what you’re thinking. He’s worried about you.” Her hand touches my arm lightly. Everything is on the tip of my tongue, craving an outlet, and I’m momentarily tempted to take her up on her offer until I come to my senses. If Cal is worried about me, he has a strange way of showing it. But there’s no way I’m telling an obvious member of his fan club that.

“I appreciate your concern, but I’m not talking to you about him. I don’t know you, so if you’ll excuse me, please.” I extricate myself from her soft grip and slump off toward our apartment.

Dad shows up an hour later confirming that the plan to extract Zane from Novo is already underway. One of Dad’s ex-colleagues, an informant still on Novo, is fleeing with him, and Dad will meet them on the Interstellar Space Station. He is leaving with a small team in a few hours, so he asks me to communicate this message to Zane, and I comply. I tune out straightaway, anxious to speak to Dad before he leaves. “I’m coming too,” I say.

“It’s safer for you to stay here. We don’t know how much time my colleague will have before someone realizes that Zane has escaped. It could get dangerous. I want you nowhere near that.” He stands formidably in front of me, arms overlapping his chest, legs wide.

“Not this again, Dad. I told you I can look after myself, and you will be there to make sure nothing happens to me. Please, Dad. I want to be there to greet Zane.”

He falters briefly and then shakes his head. “No, it’s too risky. I’ll message you as soon as we’re on our way, and you can greet Zane the minute he arrives here.”

The desire to scream my head off is powerful. My lungs ache with the need to externally vent, but that won’t help the whole ‘acting like an adult’ perception. I still haven’t given up hope that Dad will change his mind about Greece. So I need to show restraint.

“I’m not happy about this, but fine.”

“It’s for the best, sweetheart.” He captures me in a comforting embrace, and even though I’m fuming with him, I throw myself into it, desperately seeking the solace.

There is still no sign of Cal a couple of hours later and fear replaces my anger. I’m afraid of what will become of us, what all the bickering implies about our relationship, and that combined with my worry over Zane’s rescue mission has me wound up so tight that I’m primed to snap. Forcing myself to take long deep breaths, I acknowledge that skulking around all day has done me no favors whatsoever. I’m the type of person that has to be active, and my inactivity has me itching to crawl out of my skin. Peeping at my watch, I note there’s still time. To hell with what I said earlier. I can’t just stay here while Zane is out there somewhere, possibly in danger. So I change into my soldier’s uniform, tie my hair into a ponytail, and pull on my cap. Then I set out.

Apprehension mounts when I reach the hangar and scan the vast space. Locating the right stealth-craft is an issue. Out of the corner of my eye, I catch sight of a familiar face and curse silently. There can be only one reason why Cal is down here at this hour, though why he’d volunteer to help either Dad or Zane is beyond me. I run after him though I take care to keep a safe distance between us, lest he turn around and catch me.

I give it a couple of minutes, suck in a lungful of air, and then follow Cal into the stealth-craft.

As I step into the cabin, all eyes turn in my direction and heat rises up my chest. “Ariana.” Dad’s voice resonates with clear authority and blistering condemnation.

He stomps toward me, past the line of seated soldiers, and I’m fearful that he might actually frog-march me out in front of everyone. That would redefine embarrassment. Adopting an on-the-spot defensive strategy, I throw myself down on the first empty seat I see and quickly deploy the harness.

“What are you doing here?” Cal asks, looming large in front of me.

I shoot him a filthy look. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m helping with the rescue mission. What else do you think I’m doing here?” He levels a flat stare at me.

“Why? You don’t even like him?” I strain forward against the harness.

“You’re leaving right now. We agreed earlier,” Dad says, standing alongside Cal. I almost cower under the ferociousness of his glare, but anger starts to ebb and flow inside me, bolstering my courage.

“He’s my boy … best friend,” I yell. Cal’s sharp intake of breath echoes in the confined space of the cabin. My eyes flit to his but he shuts down immediately. My slip-up has cost me dearly. “I’m going to be there when he arrives. I’m done talking about this. There is nothing either of you can say that will change my mind.”

“You will do as you are told.” Dad’s voice booms in the enclosed space.

“For the tenth time, Dad, I’m not a kid anymore.” I sigh in exasperation.

“We need to leave now,” Agent Leena says, approaching from the side. She fixes her gaze on Dad. “I know she’s your daughter, but Ariana is almost eighteen, and she’s more than capable of making her own decisions. She knows how to take care of herself.”

“Fine,” Dad says in a clipped tone, sounding like it’s anything but. “We’ll talk about this later, young lady.”

I release a loud breath and sneak a quick peek at Cal. He has returned to his seat across from me. He looks at me as if he’s staring straight through me, and his facial expression chills me to the core. I don’t understand how things have gone downhill so fast between us, and I fear there’s no coming back from this.

Dad goes to help Agent Leena in the cockpit, and in a manner of minutes, we are easing out of the hangar. A small screen over my head shows the journey as we glide out into the water and then shoot up to the surface. The stealth-craft shudders and grumbles as we make our ascent, and there’s a weird popping sound in my ears. My stomach sways unsteadily, and I say a silent prayer that I hold onto the contents of my dinner. No one speaks and the only sound in the cabin is the rattling of the craft as we travel upward. When we finally break the surface, we trek upward at a rapid pace, bathed in darkness as we fly through the night sky.

Watching our ascent on the screen, there’s a certain freeness as we rocket through space, and I feel refreshingly exhilarated.

We make it to the space station in a couple of hours, and once we dock, all we can do is sit and wait. Dad advises that it shouldn’t be too long, cautioning us to be on guard. Some of the others talk in quiet voices, but Cal and I remain unyielding; we continue to ignore each other.

Not since we got together have I ever felt this distant from him.

There’s a low thrum as the landing door opens. Dad and Agent Leena walk past flanked by five soldiers. Dad flings a warning look at me. Disregarding him, I press the button to release my harness. I’m up and out of my seat when a hand creeps around my waist. “Stay here with me, please,” Cal says, hauling me against his firm body. The strain in his voice is notable. Sweeping my hair back, he runs his fingers against my cheek, and my skin races to life. He nuzzles my neck, resting his head on my shoulder, and the heat from his breath oozes liquid lust all over my skin. And as so often happens, I’m entranced by the smell and feel of him and I’m powerless to move.

I’m sure he’s done this deliberately, knowing how difficult it is for me to deny him anything when he is swathed around me like this.

If only we could get over our aversion to words.

Sudden gunfire turns the blood to ice in my veins. Cal’s grip loosens, as he’s also caught off-guard. The remaining two soldiers dart past us. Even though I know he’s still upset with me, Cal’s eye’s latch on mine straightaway.

We both move at the same time, running toward the commotion.

CHAPTER 6

My feet hit the ground running, and I race after Cal as he sprints through a long narrow corridor within the inner sanctum of the Space Station, advancing toward the sound of the gunfire. My feet squelch on the shiny, metal floor, and I almost slip a couple of times. Steel-plated tubing runs the length of the structure on both sides, top and bottom, and a strange, gurgling sound echoes in the pipes. Ignoring that and the stomach-churning ache in my gut, I keep running, my gun clenched firmly in my hand.

As we round the next bend, shots zoom past us, and I drop to the floor like a pro. Shunting backward, I pull up into a crouch under the protection of the corner. Cal presses tight beside me. Peering carefully around the edge, I spy Dad, Agent Leena, and six of our men exchanging shots with a dozen Novo soldiers.

A limp body, attired in a Saoirse uniform, lies discarded on the ground. A tall gray-haired man leans against the inside wall, his body protecting a covered trolley. The side of a muscled arm is visible under the white sheet. Zane’s tattoo is prominent on his upper arm, and my distress is instantaneous.

I reach out to his mind, but there is nothing but darkness. Rampant terror grips me and I hop up, ready to run to him, without any thought for my own safety. Cal’s body flattens me to the wall. “Don’t be so reckless.”

“Zane’s on that trolley. I need to get to him before a bullet does.” My chest constricts.

Cal frowns but holds a finger up, stalling me. “I’ll go for him,” he says, a minute later. “Cover me.”

Before I can protest, he races across the corridor and hunkers down on the ground, inching his way up toward the trolley. Shots continue to be traded between our troops and the government soldiers. Cal creeps closer to Zane, and I unload my weapon from my current position to deflect attention my way. Dad scoots forward, noticing Cal slyly advancing.

Just as Cal’s hand clasps the trolley, the gray-haired man takes a hit to the chest and slithers to the ground. A government soldier seizes the trolley and pulls it forward. The sheet slides down Zane’s body, exposing his upper half and raw desperation pricks my skin all over. Intense fear for Cal and Zane propels me into action, and I charge the corridor, firing off round after round. A bullet hits the soldier in the head and he slumps to the side. Cal jumps up and takes aim at the advancing replacement, taking him out with one clean shot.

“You two get him out of here,” Dad yells over his shoulder. “We’ll hold them off.”

Our troops are retreating while they maintain the exchange of fire. “Stay low,” Cal says, thrusting me in front of him. Kicking out, I push free of his hold and sneak up on the inside of the trolley, holding fort at the front. There’s no way I’m cowering at the back while Zane is unprotected out here in the open. Using the side of the trolley to steady myself, I back up with my gun raised in front of me; primed to take out anyone who dares stop us.

Shots bounce off the walls as troops close the distance between us, and I fire my weapon indiscriminately. “We need to hurry, Cal!”

Cal tugs the trolley around the corner and I stumble awkwardly. The mistake costs me. A searing pain rips through my shoulder and I cry out. Strong arms hook me and I’m hoisted around the corner.

“Let me see,” he says in a tight voice. Ripping the sleeve of my shirt all the way up, he inhales sharply. “Goddamnit, Ariana!” His fingers press gently into my shoulder, and I bite down on my lip as excruciating pain radiates all over my arm and across my chest. His fingertips come away bloody. “I told you to stay down!”

“It’ll be fine,” I grit out. “It’s hardly life-threatening.” Ignoring the brutal ache zapping my energy, I straighten up as the sounds of approaching footsteps reverberate behind us. “We need to get back to the stealth-craft. You can bitch me out later.”

I prop myself alongside the trolley as we advance toward our transport, distracting myself from the throbbing pain by focusing on Zane. His skin is warm to the touch so he’s obviously just knocked out. The trolley jerks to a halt abruptly, and my hip slams heavily into the side of it. “Drop your weapons,” a voice commands. Lifting my head, I see a government soldier in front of our stealth-craft, blocking the entrance. His gun is millimeters from Cal’s face. Despite my alarm, I don’t waste a second. Focusing my mind, I take control of his arm and swing the gun around on him. The soldier stares wide-eyed and then Cal knocks him unconscious with one punch.

Cal rolls the trolley onto the stealth-craft while I stumble after him. Together we secure Zane to one of the cots in the small med-bay. Cal lifts me up and places me carefully on the other cot. Wordlessly, he steps out into the main cabin. Dad’s voice throws out instructions. A shot rings out followed by a slight thud and then loud cursing. A second shot rings out, and I think I’m going to vomit. I try to sit up, but I’m restrained in three places, and I can’t move my arm enough to reach the clasps. I call out for Cal and he enters the room a couple of minutes later.

“What happened? Is Dad …”

“Your father is fine.” He swallows and the Adam’s apple in his throat enlarges. “We lost Agent Leena.”

“What? Oh no!” Sorrow brims inside me as I press down on the bed. The rumbling of the engine vibrates underneath my body as the stealth-craft prepares to take off. Cal straps himself into the seat behind me, his hand resting lightly on my uninjured arm.

We are a subdued bunch when we arrive back in the underwater compound. Zane is still unconscious, and I can’t connect to his mind so I’m dangling precariously on the sanity ledge. A waiting medical team whisks him away, and I offer up a silent prayer that he’s okay. The sight of Dad carrying Agent Leena’s lifeless form throws me off the cliff. I double over as if winded, pain attacking me from all sides. That such a beautiful, kind, strong woman should leave this world in such a manner is more than tragic. It’s cruel. My heart weeps.

Cal’s arm wraps around my back and he helps me straighten up. Neither of us speaks, but I slant into him and gratefully accept his unspoken support. He escorts me to the Medical Wing and waits while they remove the bullet and place me on the medi-scan. Once it’s confirmed that the baby is okay, I breathe a sigh of relief. Cal visibly relaxes at the news.

“You could’ve lost the baby or been killed,” Cal says as we walk back to our apartment. His voice is level but I hear the depth of the emotion hidden behind it.

“I know. I’m sorry.” Exhausted from my injury and subsequent treatment, I’ve no energy to fight. Besides, my actions were careless and it could have ended badly. While my heart was in the right place, my head hadn’t been switched on.

“Please, promise me that you won’t do anything so thoughtless again. I know you can take care of yourself, but you have to act rationally.” I almost cower under the weight of his serious expression.

“I know, and I promise.”

Ben is still awake when we reach our apartment, anxious to hear about Zane. Cal updates him and his crest-fallen look mirrors how I feel. Stripping off my uniform, I pull on my sleep clothes and crawl into bed. An intense shiver takes hold, its tendrils creeping slowly up my body until I feel icy all over. Cal slides into bed beside me. Incapable of speaking to each other, we offer the only other comfort possible.

He draws me into his arms and I go willingly. I snuggle into his chest, my fingers idly tracing the wounds and marks on his skin. His hand traces up and down my spine and gradually warmth overpowers the icy feeling. And I cling to him, fearful that these moments are drawing to a close.

Micha Kloon sits rigidly in a wooden-backed chair, nursing a beer. Her hair is matted and unkempt, her clothes creased and dirty. Her gaze is firmly fixed on a dog-eared photo lying on the table in front of her. She stares at it and then tilts back her head and drains the beer in one go. Lifting her head, she stares numbly ahead and then her look changes, darkens, and a deep-seated resolve replaces the lines on her face.

Even in sleep, my body shudders. Though I’m still locked in Cal’s sleep-drenched arms, I feel no warmth. The vision of Micha has completely unnerved me. Back in Florida, Calista Corr had insinuated that Micha had some form of personal agenda and her intense dislike of me was something more than the fact I was withholding precious information. At the time, I was totally clueless.

But not now.

I suspect I know what it is, but I need to talk to Zane to confirm my suspicions.

And I can’t wait any longer.

I try connecting through our minds, but there’s no response so I ease out of the bed, very carefully, so as not to disturb Cal. Once I’m dressed, I tiptoe out of the room.

I’m stonewalled the minute I reach the Medical Facility. The nurse on duty has Ziploc lips, and she’ll barely divulge anything, let alone permit me to see him. However, she has confirmed that he is fine, just sleeping. Grateful relief washes over me.

I’m way too wired to go back to bed so I spend a couple of hours ambling around the compound like I’m homeless. I can appreciate the facility more like this, when most people are still asleep and it’s empty and quiet.

I’m wandering down near the Velo station when a loud ruckus reaches my ears. Flattening my back to the wall, I step aside as a mixed team of medics and soldiers swarm the passageway. Several people are injured, clutching various body parts, and two men drag an unconscious colleague under the arms, his feet squeaking across the tiled floor, a line of blood trailing behind. This concrete reminder that we’re at war is a harrowing reality check. Instant concern for Cal arrests me. I know he’ll receive his orders soon and I’m overcome with immense fear for him.

I journey to our apartment like there’s a rocket up my ass, an overwhelming need to restore peace between us powering my muscles. I couldn’t bear it if he went out on assignment with so much tension between us, with so many unspoken things left unsaid.

Cal is sitting at our small table drinking a coffee when I step inside the apartment. Ben is nowhere to be seen. He lifts his head and looks up at me. His face is devoid of emotion and impressively neutral.

I’m suddenly terrified of what he’s going to say.

“Were you with him?”

“No. Yes. I mean I went to speak to him earlier, but he’s still asleep. They wouldn’t let me see him.” I sink into the seat beside him.

“What are we doing?” he asks, placing his cup down on the table.

“What do you mean?” My foot taps restlessly off the floor.

“Us? Is there even an ‘us?’”

“Do you want there to be an ‘us?’” I ask the question even though I’m scared of the response.

He pauses considerably and a bitter taste floods my mouth. It’s too late. I’ve pushed him away. “Yes, I still want that,” he eventually says. Tentatively taking my hand, his gaze is unblinking.

My body almost folds in on itself in relief. “Me too.” The need to cling to him is intense and the desire to press my lips to his almost more than I can tolerate. But I don’t feel like I can. “I know we have lots to talk about, but for now, can you just hold me? Please?”

“You don’t have to plead, Ariana. I love the way you feel in my arms. Come on, let’s lie down together.” Pulling me up, he hauls me to his chest and buries his face in my hair. And I latch onto him tightly, needing the comfort that only his body can provide.

Encased in the soothing warmth of his arms, I can almost forget the outside world.

But at some point, reality always intrudes, like an unwelcome guest at a party.

A loud banging on the door wakes us both up at the same time. Cal climbs out of bed and hastily throws on his pants. He lets Dad into the room. Dad takes one look at Cal and another at me in the bed and scowls, but he wisely decides to keep his thoughts to himself.

“Were you looking for me?” I ask.

“Actually, I was looking for Cal.” He turns and faces him. “There’s been a slight change in your assignment. You’ll now report in to Commander De Luca as part of the Louisiana unit. Evac in two days.”

“Okay. I’ll be ready.”

“Prepare yourself. Things are rough up there. A unit arrived back this morning heavily injured thanks to a government-deployed ambush. According to our eyewitnesses, the authorities have doubled and tripled their troops on the ground. Our team managed to evacuate a large group from the Clementia compound in New York before the government wiped it out. But there was still significant loss of life. We’ve also received rather alarming news in relation to the Vita implants.”

“What news?”

He turns and looks at me. “Our teams are equipped with a high-tech scanner which confirms Vita deactivation before the medical teams operate on individuals to remove the chips. Through use of this technology, we’ve discovered that a large percentage of the Vitas implanted in people on Earth are still active. We can only assume that the new chips deployed on Earth weren’t catalogued on the information vial I took. This changes things, considerably.”

Yanking the covers up under my armpits, I sit up in the bed, my arms and upper chest bare except for the straps of my bra. “All those people are still at risk?” I plant a hand over my mouth as bile rises up my throat. A stern look crosses Dad’s face and he shoots Cal a murderous look. Cal backs up toward the bed.

“If we only had codes for the original Vita implants, then it means that most of the deactivated chips belong to those on Novo,” Cal says, balancing on the bottom edge of the bed. “That’s not very useful.”

“Agreed,” Dad admits, rubbing the taut curve of his jaw. “The aim was to take back control of Earth and its inhabitants and prevent further Vita implantation. This forces us to rethink our strategy. At least we are assured that all our Novo sympathizers are protected. And when the time comes to take control of the Planet, the government won’t be able to invoke the kill switch. So, it’s still helpful. But there’s no denying that this is a massive setback.” He clasps his chin in his hand.

“Any news on Zane yet?” I ask. Cal stiffens in front of me.

“That was the other thing I came to say. He’s awake and asking for you. He should be discharged in the next half-hour, and you can see him then.”

A wide smile smears my face. This is the first piece of happy news I’ve had in days and I latch onto it like it’s oxygen. Cal stands abruptly and reaches for his shirt. Dad quickly excuses himself and leaves us to it.

“We need to talk first, Ariana,” Cal says.

“I know. Let’s take a trip to the observation deck.”

Twenty minutes later and I’m back in my favorite spot. Cal hunkers down beside me, picking at his nails. Reaching out, I unfold his fingers and take his hand in mine. “What do you want to talk about first?” A wayward giggle escapes my throat and he stares at me. There’s a stupid grin on my face, and as much as I try to stop smiling, I can’t. I’m too full of nervous energy and it’s my body’s way of combating the stress.

“Why are you smiling?” He looks confused.

“Sometimes I smile when I’m nervous,” I admit.

He goes deathly quiet and my heart races in my chest. “I don’t want you to be nervous of me,” he says, a muscle ticking in his jaw. “You have nothing to fear from me.”

He’s totally taken me up wrong. “I’m not nervous or afraid of you, Cal. But I’m scared of this gulf that has opened up between us and how we can’t seem to go more than a few hours without disagreeing over something. I’m worried that there’s far too many reasons to fight and not enough reasons to just be happy.”

“So, how do we resolve it?”

“You could just agree with everything I say?” I cock my head to the side, a sly smile on my face.

He laughs. “I’ve never been much of a ‘yes’ man, so I don’t think that’s a likely solution.”

“Ben said something to me yesterday that made sense. He said that…”

“Wait up.” He strokes my arm and a tingling sensation skates over my skin. “You spoke to Ben about us?” He looks totally pissed.

See? We can barely string two words together without clashing. “Not like that, Cal. He overheard us arguing the previous night and he asked me if I was okay. Then he asked about Deacon. And I, um, I asked him about Amber.” If we’re going to try to deal with our issues, then I might as well put her on the table as well.

“If you wanted to know about Amber, you should’ve asked me. She was my girlfriend, not his.” His tone is cutting and it hurts. Is he afraid of what Ben might tell me? And if so, what is it that he’s afraid I’m going to find out?

“Ben’s your best friend. Why does it matter if I speak to him? I don’t understand why you’re getting so pissy about it.” I release his hand and wrap my arms around my chest. The air is fraught with unspent tension, and I’m beginning to despair that we’ll ever find neutral ground to sort out our differences.

“I don’t like the fact that you’d rather talk to him instead of talking to me. Why won’t you talk to me? I’m sick of you shutting me out.”

I can practically see the steam billowing out of his ears. And just like that, the thread on my control snaps. “Hang on here a second, buddy. You walked out on me again.” I jab my finger in the air. “You didn’t come back home and you”—I double jab my finger for extra emphasis—“sought her out instead of talking to me. Double standards, Cal.”

“You’re hardly in any position to throw accusations at me. You crept out in the middle of the night to talk to your ex-boyfriend. Or should I say boyfriend?” He spits out the word like it’s poisonous. “Considering that’s what you basically referred to him as last night.”

“That was just a slip of the tongue, and I was only worried about Zane. I needed to know that he was all right,” I yell.

“Hearing ‘slip of the tongue’ and ‘Zane’ in the same sentence doesn’t exactly fill me with a lot of confidence, Ariana!” Cal shouts, and I’m taken aback at how venomous he sounds.

“Now who is being childish,” I retort, pulling myself to my feet.

He jumps up so quickly that I gasp. Angling himself, he gets right up in my personal space. “I’m sick to death of Zane. Do you hear me? You’ll have to make a choice. Him or me? Because I’m not sticking around if he is.”

“What?” I step back, aghast. “You can’t make me choose. He’s my best friend! Why volunteer to be part of his rescue team if that’s the way you feel? Or were you hoping it would go wrong and you had some sick perverted urge to be there to witness it for yourself?”

Casting a quick glance over my head, he scowls and his face scrunches up. “I went last night because I hate how things are between us right now, and I know I haven’t been very nice to you lately. I thought if I helped bring him back that it would somehow make amends. Do you think I genuinely wanted to be there? Because I didn’t.” I cross my arms protectively over my chest and glare at him. He shakes his head in frustration. “I only did it because I was thinking of you,” he roars.

I flinch and shrink back as an arm circles my waist from behind. The familiar citrusy smell wafts in the air and emotion swells in my chest. “Don’t shout at her like that,” Zane says over my head. His voice is steady and calm, but I know him all too well. He’s seething inside, pumped to explode.

“Get your hands off my fiancée,” Cal demands, his eyes firmly locked on Zane’s arm. It’s only then I realize that my hands are curled around his arms. Awareness floods my senses and I release him, but Zane’s hold on me doesn’t falter.

“He’s on the verge of losing it. Let me go, please.”

“If he steps out of line again, I won’t be responsible for my actions, Ari.”

“Do it now!” Cal is puce with rage, and I’m afraid he’s going to throw a punch at Zane. I can’t imagine that would be good after his recent operation. Zane removes his arm and steps around me. As I look up at him, a truckload of feelings hit me all at once. I never thought I’d see him alive again, and now that I truly know who he is and what he has meant to me, I can’t control the urge to wrap myself around him. I don’t stop to think about anything else as I fling my arms around his neck and hug him tightly. “Oh God, Zane!” The tears flow unchecked down my face. “I thought you were dead.” I’m sobbing freely now. My hands wrap around his, and I forget everything and everyone else. “It’s so good to see you.” He looks at me in a way that is now achingly familiar, adoration written all over his face.

“Screw this,” Cal snarls. Breaking free of Zane, I twist around, wincing when I catch sight of Cal. “This,” he spits, gesturing with his hand between us, “whatever it was, it’s over. We’re done.”

CHAPTER 7

My heart turns over in my chest. “Wait, no.” I reach out and take his arm, but he pushes me away. Zane stiffens behind me. “Don’t interfere!”

“I told you to make a choice. You’ve made it.” He walks away, shoulders drooping, and I momentarily feel like pitching myself over the edge of the railing. I stand rooted to the spot, unable to drag my eyes away even after he’s fully out of sight.

“Ari?” Zane asks gently.

Desperately trying to control my wobbling lip, I turn and face him. Eyes smoldering with yearning penetrate mine and unspoken questions demanding answers stir under the surface. He’s totally justified in asking those questions, and he deserves to receive a truthful reply, but as happy as I am to see him, I’m emotionally anesthetized right now. Trying to decipher what my head and my heart want is too difficult, and I feel like I’m torn in two. “I’m really pleased you’re here, Zane, and I know there’s much that needs to be said. But I can’t do that now.”

God, I’m like a broken record. How sick and tired he must be of me.

“Baby, come here.” He reaches out and I go into his arms without hesitation. Laying my head on his chest, I’m jolted by the unfamiliar regular beat of his heart. That’ll take some getting used to. Even though I know it’s so wrong to let him hold me like this when I was wrapped in Cal’s embrace only a couple of hours ago, I can’t let go.

Eventually, Zane eases back, his fingers weaving gently through my hair. “I’ve missed you so much, Ari. I thought I’d lost you forever.” Then he lowers his head and kisses me. My lips respond as if on autopilot, and I kiss him back, slowly exploring his mouth. And this is different than the time I kissed him in the Clementia compound. This kiss is laced with a history full of kisses and touches, and a wild rush of exhilaration mixes with soothing familiarity. The image of Zane’s heartbroken face as he watched our car disappear that last fateful day on Earth is imprinted on my brain, and my chest tightens with remembered heartache.

I melt into him and deepen the kiss, wanting to erase the mutual pain and suffering of the last few years. Zane’s arms reel me in closer, and if he squeezes any harder, I’m in danger of ceasing to exist. As his tongue feathers against mine, his emotions swirl around me, and the self-inflicted cage on his heart snaps wide open. I experience everything he feels and the force of it brands me deep within my soul.

Our mutual breathing becomes heavier and reality bites. As much as this feels good, feels right, I can’t let this escalate, not until I’ve had adequate time to figure out how I feel and what I want. Forcing myself to withdraw, I ease out of his embrace.

We stand there watching each other, chests heaving, lungs clawing for air. There is so much that needs to be said, and too many things that can’t ever be said. The level of confusion I feel is off the charts. My head is swimming, going in a million different directions. “Talk to me, baby,” he says.

My mouth opens, but no words come. Tears gather in my eyes and he steps toward me. I hold up my hand, cautioning him. “Zane,” I croak. “I love you, but I love him too. And I don’t know what to do. How to fix this. How to ever make it right.” I rest my forehead in my hands and try to quell the tornado gathering momentum inside me.

“I want you back, Ari. And this time I’m giving it my all. We belong together.” He steps closer and his fingers splay wide on my cheeks. “I know you feel that too despite what you told me back in Connecticut. This is our destiny and it was written in the stars that first night we admitted our love for one another.”

I peer into his eyes and his love shines brightly. I remember how amazing it felt to be loved by him and how he was all I ever wanted. But I also feel pain and guilt and remember how those emotions threatened to overpower everything else.

Remembering the good has also resurrected the bad.

“I can’t pretend that I don’t feel those things, because I do. But I feel other things too.” I shift anxiously on my feet. “Dark things,” I whisper. “I deserve every bit of unhappiness. I deserve to be broken and miserable.” My throat pinches and bitter tears well in the corners of my eyes. “What we did, what I forced you to do, it was so wrong,” I rasp. “How can we ever come back from that?”

“No, Ari. What he did was wrong. I was protecting you and you were protecting me. If I hadn’t arrived, God knows how far he would’ve gone. Do you think either of us would be standing here now if we hadn’t acted as we did? Shit,” he says, scrubbing a hand over his jaw. “This is like rewinding the clock. You’ve heard me say these words so many times, Ari. I can’t keep repeating them. You have got to forgive yourself.”

“But that’s the thing, Zane. I don’t know that I can.”

“There you are,” Dad calls out and I turn toward the sound of his voice. His eyes flit between us and linger on me. “Are you okay, sweetheart?”

“Yeah. I’m fine,” I lie. He frowns. He’s no fool.

“He knows.”

“What?”

“He knows what happened that morning in the woods.”

My stunned expression discloses my feelings. “You told him?”

“I had to. I couldn’t let you move to Novo shouldering the burden of it all on your own.”

“Oh my God, how did he react?”

Dad coughs loudly and fixes his gaze on me. “I know you two want to spend more time catching up, but I need to steal Zane away. This can’t wait.”

“How long will I be?” Zane asks.

“A couple of hours. Then she’s all yours.”

“I’ll tap you when I’m free and we’ll arrange to meet up then. We need to finish this discussion.” I stare at him through shell-shocked eyes. “Are you going after him?”

“Yes. I can’t leave things like this between us.”

He eyes me pensively. Then, dipping down, he kisses me passionately. I’m too startled to push him away, or match the intensity of his lips. I imagine, for him, it’s a bit like kissing a wall. “I’ll be back as soon as I can. Wait for me.” And I understand the double meaning behind his statement. Dad looks at me funnily and my skin flares instantly.

I’m forcing my feet to move in the direction of our apartment though my natural inclination is to run the opposite way. I don’t know what to say to Cal. I feel ripped apart, split equally down the middle. One half of me craves his arms, the other yearns for Zane. In a funny way, it’s helped me come to terms with Greece. At least there, I’ll have some space to think.

I’m deep in thought, my shoulders hunched over, as I round the corner. I plow into someone and the force of the impact sends both of us tumbling to the ground. Planting my hands to stop the fall, I haul myself back up at the same time she does.

“Are you okay?” Amber asks.

“I’m fine. You?”

“No damage done.” She cracks a smile.

“Sorry, I should’ve been looking where I was going.” I move to walk away.

“Actually, I was hoping to catch you. Could we talk now?” Her timing sucks.

“I don’t see that we’ve anything to talk about.” Especially now that Cal has kicked me to the curb and she has a green light.

“I don’t want to cause any trouble, Ariana. Far from it. Five minutes, that’s all I’m asking.”

She looks like she’s not going to take no for an answer. I might as well get all the awkward conversations out of the way in one day, so I trudge after her.

We take the elevator down to the lowest level and swing a left, sauntering in the opposite direction to Command Center. I haven’t explored much on this side of the ground floor, but Amber says she has found a cool hangout that she wants to show me.

She pushes through a set of steel doors, and I step into a medium-sized clearly man-made garden and draw in a sharp gasp. A half laugh-half cry trickles out of my mouth. I’ve seen all manner of unbelievable things over the course of the last two years, but this renders me speechless. I imagine it’s a lot like stepping through the wardrobe and discovering Narnia.

Tugging off my boots and socks, I walk barefoot on the lush, green grass, my fingers trailing against shrubs and bushes as I walk down the little cobblestone path. Bending over, I inhale the sweet smell of roses and peonies and an assortment of radiant flowers that line the route. I tilt my head to the side as a gentle fluttering sound whispers in my ear. A brightly colored butterfly lands briefly on my shoulder before floating off into the air. The sounds of birds reverberate in the room, and I stand still, eyes fixated on the ceiling. Overhead the sky is the brightest shade of blue, and fluffy clouds comfortable enough to sleep on flit across my vision. I shake my head in bewildered amazement.

“Come, look at this,” Amber says excitedly. We walk down the path and perch on the edge of the little gray stone wall. Peering in, I see my reflection staring back at me in the water, my look a mixture of awe and deep-rooted despair. God, I look terrible. Beside me, Amber’s golden locks tumble forward in remarkable uniformity and her skin appears luminous even in the watery mirror.

My good mood evaporates on the spot.

I dip my fingers in the water, wondering if it’s real or an illusion, and my hand glides through the cool water. Hundreds of small fish float through the pond, their shiny gills magically reflecting the magnetism of the room.

“What is this place?”

“It’s cool, right?” she says. “Wait ‘til you see this!” She hops up and runs to the back wall, extracting a small squared device from a hidden panel. Sitting back down, she presses a button and instantly the blue sky disappears replaced by a dark navy night sky, a smattering of twinkling stars swirling over the ceiling and sweeping ghostly shadows across the ground. “Now look at this one,” she says, fiddling with the gadget in her hand. This time a bright orange sun appears high in a crystal-clear sky, and I swear I feel hotter under my clothes. Amber flicks another switch and the original blue cloudy skyline returns.

“They built this as a mini-retreat for the workers. Apparently, when they were first constructing this place, back in the 1960s, some of the workers were underground for a year at a time without any break. This was a little piece of home under the sea.”

“They didn’t have that technology back then,” I say, pointing to the digital device in her hand.

“No, I assume that was a later development. It’s awesome though, isn’t it?”

“It’s amazing. It feels so real. Though, it reminds me a bit of Novo,” I say, images of the holographic woods springing to mind.

“What was it like there?” She pierces me with an earnest stare.

“Monstrous.” My one word reply sums it up adequately. Though it’s been almost four months since I stepped foot on Planet Novo, I still shiver as I recall the reality of my life there. Considering everything that’s happened, I don’t like thinking about it. Standing, I walk toward the only tree in the space and sit down against the trunk. Amber follows me quietly. “What did you want to talk about?”

“Cal.”

“What about him?” My fingers walk through the grass.

“I’m not after him if that’s what you think.” She pulls her knees up to her chest.

“Why?” I ask the obvious question.

“Well, he’s totally besotted with you, for starters,” she says, gracing the world with a magnificent smile. My face remains expressionless and her brow creases. “And he broke my heart once already, I’d rather not put myself through it again.”

I expect her to elaborate but she doesn’t. “He’s changed a lot,” she adds, a couple of minutes later. I arch a brow, the question evident in my look. “He loves you.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that,” I mutter, my eyes downcast now.

“He told me straight out, Ariana. And I’ve never heard Cal talk about any other girl the way he talks about you.” She wraps her arms around her knees and leans back.

I twist slightly and look at her head-on. “He talked to you about me?” I can’t believe the damn nerve of him to criticize me for running to Zane when he has clearly done the exact same thing. And it’s not like him and Amber shared a closeness akin to Zane and mine. Or did they? I don’t have a clue of their past. Nor do I want to know. There’s enough messed-up crap spinning through my head as it is.

“He’s worried about you,” she says.

I snort and shake my head. “Well, he’s a very funny way of showing it.”

“Look,” she says, touching my arm. “I don’t know what is going on, and I don’t want to interfere. But you’ve nothing to fear from me, and I don’t want to be at the center of any disagreement between you two. That’s all I wanted to say.”

I sense she’s telling the truth, but something about this still doesn’t add up. And it’s not that she’s interfering per se, or that she has come in the middle of us, because in the grand scheme of things, she’s been a minor bone of contention. But I’m not telling her that or the fact that Cal and I are apparently no more. Because the thought of helping her run right back into his arms twists my gut into strangled knots.

“I appreciate you saying that, Amber, but we’ve got a lot more stuff going on than that. If anything was to come between us, I doubt it’d be you.”

She stands abruptly, smoothing her hands down her pants. “Very well, Ariana. I’ve said my piece.” Her lips are pulled tight together. Somehow, I appear to have offended her. At any other time, I might apologize for my directness, but I can’t summon the interest or energy in this moment.

She walks back along the path. Stopping at the door, she turns around. “Look after yourself, Ariana.”

Deciding to throw my own pity party, I spend an hour lounging on the grass, messing with the controller and rotating different ceilings until white dots blur my vision. I know I can’t hide down here forever. And wallowing in a pit of self-pity is doing me no favors. I can’t put off the inevitable. I need to face Cal.

Beyond that, I haven’t got a frigging clue what the hell I’m going to do.

Dad is standing in front of our apartment as I make my approach. Crap. What now? He walks toward me with urgency. “What’s up, Dad?”

“You need to leave immediately.” He takes my elbow and twists me around.

“Hang on. Leave?” I wriggle out of his clutch and turn around, blocking him with my body.

“For Greece. There isn’t time to explain. Here,” he says, thrusting a black backpack into my arms. “I packed up your things. Let’s go.” He grips my elbow again and starts to propel me forward.

“Dad, stop. Stop! Please. I haven’t said goodbye to anyone. I need to talk to Cal.” I dart under his arm and run toward our apartment. I open the door and step inside but it’s empty. Damn.

“Ariana, please. There isn’t time for goodbyes. If we don’t leave now, it may be too late. You have to trust me on this.”

“But, Dad …” I tug on my lower lip, stretching it out with my teeth. “I can’t leave things as they are with Cal, with Zane.”

He must see something concerning in my eyes because he stops trying to shove me forward. Placing his hands on my shoulders, he looks me straight in the eye. “I’m not as good at this stuff as your mom was, but I see how troubled you are, sweetheart. You need space away from those boys to find perspective.”

It’s not that I disagree. Rather, the thought of leaving like this kills me. I’ve left Zane believing there’s a real possibility of us getting back together and Cal thinks we are over. If I leave in this manner, he’ll think I don’t care. But Dad is already dragging me along the corridor so I give up fighting it and let him lead me to the Velo station.

Pushing him to the side, I place my hands on his chest. “I need you to give Zane a message.” He nods. “Tell him I’m sorry to leave like this but it’s for the best because I need time alone to figure things out.” I rub my pounding temples, searching for the right way to phrase this. “Ask him not to contact me. Not yet. I’ll reach out to him when I’m ready.”

Dad scoops my hair behind my ears and cups my face gently. “I’ll let him know.” His face pinches tight. “Any message for Cal?”

“I …” my voice peters out. There is so much I want to say to Cal, but it needs to be said face to face. “Tell him I’m sorry,” I say, it being the only truth I can ask Dad to relay on my behalf. I hope he understands the wealth of emotion behind that one simple statement. How sorry I am for all the harsh words, for toying with his feelings, for constantly shutting him out, and for caving to my inherent need for Zane. Most of all, for not being the girl he thinks I am.

“Sweetheart,” Dad says, pulling my attention back to him. “You don’t have anything to be sorry for.” He swipes his thumb under my eye.

I shrug and step back, not wanting to get into it with him.

If only he knew how much there is to feel sorry about.

Eyes the color of rich caramel greet me as soon as I step into the Velo carriage. “Saved you a seat,” Taylor says, patting the chair next to him.

I scan the empty carriage and pin him with a look. “That’s so thoughtful of you. Thanks.”

“That I am. And awesome. Don’t forget that part.” He winks and my lips tug up at the corner. In one way, Dr. Taylor Jennings is the perfect travel companion. It’s difficult to be serious when you’re in his company and that sounds like the ideal medicine to cure my specific ailments.

Dad confirms he is traveling with us to the Velo exit point in southern Italy. His contact will meet us there, along with a solider escort, and they will guide us the remainder of the way to Greece.

As the announcer communicates our imminent departure, I steady my nerves, steel my mind, and lock away my fragile heart in preparation for the journey ahead.

PART II - ZANE

CHAPTER 8

I rap just once on Ari’s door, even though I feel like body slamming the wall, dashing in, and yanking her out of his arms. I’ve been trying to reach out to her for the last couple of hours, but she keeps blocking me, and I don’t understand why.

I touch my fingers to my lips. She kissed me like she used to when we were madly in love and consumed in one another. I thought seeing all my hopes and dreams spring to life would be the end of the matter. But I’m still plagued with doubts. His hold on her is strong, and despite what he said to her earlier, I don’t think he’ll let her go that easily.

If it’s a fight he wants, he’ll get it.

Having a foot in and out of this life for a few weeks has done wonders for my resolve. Most people don’t get a second chance at life. By some miracle, I have and I don’t intend on wasting it. Nothing means more to me than her. And this time I’m pulling out all the stops to win her back. I know she’s conflicted over her feelings for both of us. But I also know that she loves me, and now she remembers what it was like to be in my arms. I’ll just have to keep reminding her of that.

The door slides open, and Cal stands in the doorframe, arms stretched overhead. “What do you want?” he says, through gritted teeth.

I peer around him into the empty space. “Where is she?”

“You’ve lost her already?” He flings a scathing look at me.

“Don’t play games. I haven’t been able to contact her for hours. Do you know where she is or not?” I work hard to keep my expression neutral. I won’t give him the satisfaction of knowing how much he irritates me.

“What do you mean?” He lowers his arms and steps toward me.

“I can’t connect to her mind. She’s shielding me. I thought it was because she was talking to you.” I slouch against the doorway.

“I haven’t seen her since earlier.” His brow creases with worry.

“What? She said she was coming to talk to you. That was hours ago. Where the hell is she?” My new heart starts to pound feverishly in my chest.

“Did you check the observation deck?”

“Yeah, she’s not there.” It was the first place I looked.

“What about her dad’s place or Ruby’s?”

“Not yet, but I’ll head there now.”

“I’ll come with you,” he says, turning and grabbing his boots from the end of the bed.

“I’d prefer to go alone.” I straighten up. “I’ll let you know if I find her.”

Cal barks out a short laugh. “I’m tagging along whether you like it or not. And I don’t need your permission.”

I’m not surprised. From what I’ve seen, he’s prone to overreaction and his temper flares quickly. I also understand that his natural inclination is enhanced by the drug-and-mind-altering program he was subjected to on Novo. I’ve a horrible suspicion that what he said earlier was just thrown out in the heat of the moment. I fear I’m correct. But I can’t claim a monopoly on caring for her. I know he does too, and I can’t stop him if he wants to try to find her. Besides, I’ve heard that old chestnut about keeping your enemies close, and he definitely slots perfectly into that category, as would anyone attempting to take away my reason for existing.

“Fine. Hurry up.”

We spend an anxious, uneasy hour searching the compound for Ari. Ruby doesn’t know where she is, and Malcolm, Ari’s dad, is nowhere to be found. I draw the line at speaking to Commander Remus. I’ll never forget the horrific torture I suffered at his hands while incarcerated on Novo, and I’ve no desire to even see his face, let alone speak to him. So Cal tracks him down on his lonesome, to find out if he knows anything, while I wait in the observation deck.

My eyelids droop as I watch the fish swim in front of me. In general, I’ve been quite tired since the operation. Doctors have said it’s totally normal and to get as much rest as I can, which is a bit difficult when so much expectation lies on my shoulders. I’ve only received scant instructions from Calista, but the brief was clear enough all the same: I’m to head up a special IT project team and continue the work I had begun in Clementia.

The sound of approaching footsteps jerks me awake. Rubbing my eyes, I tilt my head as Cal approaches. I stand and face him. He looks like someone just smashed his favorite guitar into itty-bitty pieces. “She’s gone,” he says, his voice dripping bitterly.

I frown. “Gone where?”

“To Greece.” His eyes drift to the glass window momentarily.

“Why?” This is hardly the time for a vacation.

“She didn’t tell you?” His eyes sparkle with curiosity. I shake my head. “We wanted her as far away from this war as possible. She’s gone to work with Raina’s grandmother, to develop her psychic gift. Her ability to see into the future could be very important to the cause.” His mouth is set in a displeased line.

“Who is we? Did Raina go with her?” I school my features into a neutral line so he can’t see the strength of my emotions. We’ve only been reunited and now she’s been ripped out of my arms again? Despair and rage are a heady concoction in my gut, and I’m struggling to keep my frustration in check.

“Malcolm and I,” he admits, and I don’t like that one little bit. There was a time when Malcolm and I sat together and made plans to protect Ari. That I’ve been replaced on this front as well picks at the festering wounds of my insecurity. “Raina didn’t make it.” His voice is low, reverential even.

“What?” I drop down on the floor, dumb-founded.

The ground shifts slightly as he settles alongside me. “We lost Raina and Riga in the escape from Clementia. They never made it off the stealth-craft.”

We are both silent for several minutes. “What are your plans?” I ask, turning to face him. “Are you going after her?”

“Why should I tell you anything?” His eyes narrow to slits as he sends me a challenging look.

“Fair enough.” I shrug. “You should know though, I won’t be easily pushed aside this time. She remembers her relationship with me now and that changes things. Spending a couple of weeks thinking I was on death’s door has given me new focus. I want her back,” I say, jumping up. “She belongs with me.”

He straightens up and glares at me. “In case you haven’t realized it, she left us both, buddy, without so much as a goodbye.”

Though I don’t want to admit it, he’s right, and it hurts. But I’m sure she wouldn’t have done that on purpose. My Ari would never be so thoughtless. Then again, we’ve all changed, shaped by circumstances we’ve been thrust into, molded by the choices we’ve made.

I travel back to my apartment and crawl into bed. My eyes close before my head even hits the pillow.

I sleep straight through to the next morning.

A sharp, piercing noise cuts through my slumber and wakens me. The holographic screen in the room flips to life, and Malcolm’s face confronts me. “Zane, can you please report to Command Center in thirty minutes?”

“Sure,” I say, my voice heavy with sleep. Throwing my legs out of bed, I shower and dress and stop off at the cafeteria en route. I try connecting with Ari again, but the shields are still up, and it does nothing to brighten my mood. Is Cal right? Has she left consciously without saying goodbye? Is she deliberately shutting me out because she regrets what transpired between us before she left? My mind rehashes our time together, and while I know she was conflicted, I didn’t see anything in her eyes, or feel anything in her touch, to indicate she regretted our intimate reunion or that she wasn’t feeling it as much as I was.

I step into the cafeteria and gather my troubled thoughts. It’s early, but the place is buzzing. Ben runs toward me and hugs me quickly. “It’s so good to see you, man. Cal told me you were here. How are you feeling?”

I knew he was here; Calista had informed me of that fact at the briefing yesterday. I’d wondered if this might be awkward, him being Cal’s best bud and all, but it’s not in the slightest. When we reconnected in Clementia, it was as easy as breathing—we’d effortlessly picked up right where we left off as kids. Still, he’s known Cal much longer, and I thought he might have felt conflicted considering Cal and I are locked in a battle over the same girl. That he’s not is proof of what a great guy he is.

“I’m good. New ticker,” I say, patting my chest. “Feel like I could climb mountains.” That’s only partly true. While I do feel like my no-name brand batteries have been replaced with the best money can buy, exhaustion still swirls around me like a dark cloud on a stormy day. Adequate recovery time is a luxury that cannot be granted right now.

“We were all so worried about you,” Ben says, his look showcasing his sincerity. I spy Cal’s approaching form behind Ben and I stiffen. Not everyone.

“Have you spoken to her?” Cal asks the second he steps in front of me.

“Hey to you too.”

“Cut the bull. Have you contacted her or not? Is she okay?” He crosses his arms in front of him.

“No,” I exhale deeply, the familiar anxiety punching holes in my chest. “She’s still blocking me.”

A tiny smirk curves his lips, and my hand itches at my side. I’m not a violent guy, but Cal has the kind of face that begs to be hit. When you add his irritating mouth into the mix, it’s a pretty enticing combination.

“I think someone may be eating his words,” Cal says, outwardly smirking now.

“And someone may find it’s too late to take back certain words,” I retort. His gaze darkens as he leans toward me.

“Knock it off,” Ben interjects, his gaze flitting between both of us. “If this is typical of what goes on, then it’s no wonder that Ariana has taken off. You’re already giving me a pain in my face. The best thing you can both do is give that girl some space and let her make up her own mind.” Ben is remarkably well informed, though I’m hardly surprised.

I open my mouth to respond, but I’m waylaid when a stunning blonde-haired girl materializes beside Cal. “Morning, guys. Please tell me you haven’t eaten everything in sight?”

“Amber,” Ben says, addressing the girl. “This is Zane. Zane, Amber,” he says, motioning between us.

I reach out and shake her hand. “Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise.” She smiles widely and I instantly warm to her. “So, you’re the Zane I’ve heard so much about?”

I arch a brow and stare at Ben. He shrugs, in an “I don’t know what the hell she’s on about” way. Glancing at Cal, I suspect I know where the intel has come from. “I wouldn’t believe everything you’ve heard.”

“If I wasn’t heading out with my unit today, perhaps I could’ve discovered that for myself,” she says, whirling around Cal’s back and swiping an apple from the counter. Cal glares at her as if she’s just sworn to hand her firstborn to the devil. An intimate look passes between them, and I’m instantly curious to know exactly who Amber is and whether there’s any history there.

I know a loaded look when I see one.

An alarm sounds on my wristwatch and I know that’s my calling card. Time to whip my ass into gear. Offering up a quick goodbye, I snatch a muffin and carton of juice and make my way to Command Center.

The vastness of this underwater compound takes my breath away. I’d thought that nothing had the power to amaze me anymore, but this place is something else entirely.

My mind wanders as I walk.

During my darkest days, when I was in a coma and trapped in my mind, I had copious time to contemplate my fate. I’d been so scared of dying before I’d accomplished anything I wanted from life. When I told Ari to leave, I genuinely believed I wouldn’t see her again, and I’d come to terms with that. I told her to stay with Cal, knowing that he loved her as completely as I did. When the authorities came for me, I’d been completely rattled, unsure of what they wanted or what they were planning to do with me. My heart slams against my ribcage as the terror revisits me, and I feel as if I’m experiencing the futility of my situation for the first time.

To feel such horrific anxiety, such helplessness, and to be completely powerless to do anything about it was the scariest feeling in the world. A virtual prisoner in my body, I’d had to watch in silent panic as I was transported to Novo and then poked and prodded with needles by strange doctors in a room full of blinding lights. There’d been nothing but darkness, and as it swept in to lay me low, I had actually welcomed it and embraced the possibility of my imminent death. I made my peace with it, said my goodbyes to the love of my life, and prayed that her life would go on and that it would be a good life.

When I woke up and realized I was alive, that I could move on my own and breathe on my own, the exhilaration of that moment overpowered any dread I might have ordinarily felt at being incarcerated again on Novo. To be alive when I’d thought I was drifting toward my death was indescribable.

I made a promise to myself then to grasp this second chance with both hands and make it the best life it can be—to fight tooth and nail for the things I want out of life, starting with my beautiful Ari.

I’ve already reached Command Center though I’ve no recollection of the walk here. I type the code Malcolm gave me into the key pad and the steel doors slide open.

Malcolm’s head flips up at the sound of footsteps. Walking around the table, he grabs me into a hug. The first words out of my mouth shouldn’t be any shock to him. “Where is Ari?”

“She is safe, I promise. I’ll update you fully after the meeting.” I take a good look at him, noting the bruising dark circles under his eyes and his unnaturally pale pallor. His uniform hangs loosely from his shoulders and more gray hairs dot his hairline. A fine layer of stubble graces his chin, and he wears his body like a second skin he would love to shed. He’d told me quietly about Anneka yesterday morning, and I don’t need him to say it. His disheveled state is more than enough evidence of how cut up he is inside.

No matter how often I’ve felt that we’re through the worst, something else always happens to remind me that we’ve still a long way to go.

Reluctantly, I nod my agreement. I follow Malcolm to the table and take the proffered seat. Calista makes quick introductions. Most are men and women I’ve never met before. Commander De Luca smiles warmly at me. My worst nightmare on the end, Commander Remus, Cal’s father, barely acknowledges me, and I return the gesture. My body no longer trembles in his presence though I still detest the very sight of him. As the meeting progresses, I notice the vicious looks he throws Malcolm’s way and how Malcolm purposely ignores him.

“I’ve reassigned all those you asked for, Zane,” Calista says, grabbing my attention. “And we’ve set up a project room for you over there.” She motions behind me and I swivel in my seat, scrutinizing the enclosed door. “Would you mind updating the council on what you told Commander Skyee and myself yesterday, so everyone is fully up to speed,” she adds, gesticulating at her colleagues around the table.

I clear my throat. “I created this project initially when I was part of Southern Connecticut University’s pre-entry graduate program. The project objective was to develop a system that could hack into military software and override their programs. The aim was to have the ability to control their air and ground vehicles, access military plans, and take over all functionality, replacing it with an agenda of my own.” Low mutterings of discontent spread around the table, and I catch a few suspicious glares.

“Hold up, “Calista says, raising her palms. “Let him finish.” She motions for me to continue.

I straighten in my chair and project my voice across the table. “I wanted to prove I could do this to exploit weaknesses in the United States military systems, and then develop a firewall to prevent others from replicating my actions. My primary aim at that time was to showcase my tech skills in order to secure the best possible employment. There was never any malicious intent.”

I swipe the glass of water on the table in front of me and drink greedily. “I informed Clementia of this when I first banded with them, and they equipped me with the necessary manpower and resources to develop the project. We made a few key breakthroughs, but work stalled thereafter due to my hospitalization.” I take another glug of water, my throat working hard to ease the dry layer coating my trachea.

“Tell them about your visit from Calavero on Novo,” Malcolm prompts, his fingers tapping idly off the table.

“When I woke from my operation, President Calavero was by my bedside. He told me in no uncertain terms that I’d been spared in order to continue my work on Novo. He threatened me, said if I didn’t cooperate that he would activate the kill-switch on Ari’s”—I trail off as I notice a few puzzled expressions. Of course, most of these people don’t know who she is—“on my girlfriend’s Vita,” I explain. Commander Remus strains forward in his seat, searing me with a venomous look that I’m unfortunately already well accustomed to. Fixing my eyes on his, I boldly hold his stare. I’m damned if that man is going to exert any more control over me.

“Explain your actions, Zane, please,” Calista says, trying to move things along.

I retract my gaze from Cal’s dad and address the table as a whole. “I knew he couldn’t hurt my girlfriend,” I say, placing emphasis on the word and shooting Commander Remus a knowing look before continuing, “so I took the opportunity to embed a hidden virus in their programs. When the time is right, I can hack in and activate it, temporarily shutting down all their systems, allowing me access to whatever we need.”

Heads nod subtly around the table. “This will give us the window of opportunity we need to gain access to Novo when the time comes.” Calista beams at her colleagues, and then her bright smile lands on me. “I’m sure I speak for everyone at this table when I say you have our everlasting gratitude, Zane. And we are so pleased to have you on board.”

My skin flushes. I’m not accustomed to such public praise, and it doesn’t sit easy with me. I’m much happier working unobtrusively in the background.

“How long will it take you to get the project up and running? I assume you have to start from scratch?” A tall man with chestnut brown hair addresses me.

“I copied all my work to a private cloud server. The project will kick-off from where I last left it.”

“That’s excellent news.” He acknowledges me with a respectful nod of his head.

“There’s still a lot more to do,” I caution, my eyes returning to Calista’s. I had tried explaining this to her last night, but I always find it’s difficult for non-technical people to fully grasp all that’s entailed.

“We understand, Zane. That’s why we have established your project team immediately. There is no time to waste, and we need you to get to work straightaway.”

“I appreciate that, Calista. But there are some things I need to attend to first.” My head turns to meet Malcolm’s eyes. I know he understands that this is about Ari, but I have other concerns too. Namely, my mom and brother Eli, and I don’t know what’s happened to Isla.

It was total chaos when they arrived into the Clementia hospital to take me. I remember Isla screaming blue murder during the commotion, but I’ve no idea what happened to her after that. I need to find her, to know that she’s okay. I explain this succinctly to Calista, not wishing to broadcast my private business to the world and its granny.

“Zane, we all have people we care about who are unaccounted for. There will be adequate time to sort things out after we have assumed control,” Calista says. She raises an elegant hand and drinks from her glass.

“Those are my conditions if you want me to head up this project.” I won’t be talked down from this. I need to know that those I love are safe, and then I can focus one hundred percent on what they need from me. Without that assurance, I’ll be too distracted. And they can’t afford for me to be distracted. Calista surveys me coolly, her pleasant smile never wavering. I can’t say the same for the others. I deflect a few disgusted looks thrown my way.

“How about a compromise?” Calista suggests. I look at her inquisitively. “You stay here for now to get the team set up, and when they can operate without you, we’ll release you for a few days to travel to Greece. I will assign some of our troops on the ground in Connecticut and New York to try to locate your family and your friend. Is that acceptable to you?”

I want to say no, because my yearning to be with Ari is driving me hard. But I know that would be foolish. I’ll need their cooperation to ensure the safety of my family and to organize my passage to Greece.

“It’s only a couple of weeks,” Malcolm whispers beside me.

“That’s acceptable,” I concede. “Thank you.”

“Very well. I’ll get things set up on my end, and if you’ll follow me, I’ll show you to your project room.”

Calista leaves me alone in the room with Malcolm. We only have a few minutes before my team will start to arrive. “Why did she leave like that? Without even saying goodbye?” The words hit him like a snowball in the face.

“There was no time. I needed to get her out immediately. We’d received word that the government had started targeting the Velo exit points they are aware of. If they hit the southern Italian gate, then I would’ve had to move Ari via a roundabout route, adding considerably to her journey. I couldn’t do that to her in her condition. It was critical that I moved her out as soon as we received the intel. If it’s any consolation, she wasn’t happy about it. She wanted to say goodbye to you.”

Some of the tension seeps out of my shoulders, though his statement doesn’t explain why she’s blocking me from accessing her mind. “Did she ask to say goodbye to him?” I know I shouldn’t pose a question when I’m not prepared for the answer, but it’s out of my mouth before I can question the wisdom of asking it.

“Yes, she did.”

I grind down on my teeth and try to ignore the sour taste in my mouth. Of course, she would want to talk to him too. It doesn’t necessarily mean anything.

“She asked me to tell you that she was sorry for leaving as she did. But she’s also asked that you not contact her until she’s ready,” Malcolm explains.

“What?” It feels like my heart has stalled in my chest.

“She needs a little time to work things out.” He clutches my shoulders and looks for understanding in my face.

Crap. She’s already having doubts. I thought our reunion was all the proof she needed that we’re meant to be. Clearly, I was wrong. “I’ll respect her privacy for now, but I’m still going to Greece to talk to her as soon as it can be arranged.” I refuse to back down on this. We need to talk face to face.

“I understand how you’re feeling, Zane,” Malcolm says, drawing my attention back to the conversation.

“No, Malcolm. I don’t think you do. She is everything to me. Everything.” I stare earnestly into his face.

“I do understand.” And then it hits me, and I feel like such an insensitive jerk. I’m too caught up in my own head. The poor man has just lost his wife, and I was around them long enough to know that she was his everything too.

“Malcolm, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking straight.”

He slouches low in his chair and angles his head. “It’s more than just that.” Then he tells me a story that blows my mind.

When he’s finished talking, I flop back in my seat, mouth agape. There’s an intense surreal quality to the whole situation. No one could’ve predicted what was about to come out of his mouth. I’m dumbstruck, and after everything that’s gone down recently, that says a lot. Now that I know about his past with Commander Remus and the knowledge of Deacon’s parentage, it sheds extra light on the obvious tension between Cal and Ari and goes a long way to explain the dejected look that has taken up permanent residence on Malcolm’s face.

“I wish Anneka were here, because I feel ill-equipped to deal with Nate on my own,” Malcolm confesses. “He isn’t going to let it drop. When we first arrived on Novo—after we had all found out—he demanded access to Deacon. But we couldn’t permit any relationship between them. Deacon was too young and he’d already gone through a life-changing experience. We didn’t think it was fair on him, and my views haven’t changed. I still believe that’s the case.” He sits up straighter in his chair. “I know I can’t stop him from forming a relationship with Deacon, but if he finds this out now, it’ll shatter him. The more I make this point, the firmer Nate’s resolve is. I don’t know what else I can do.”

I know how destructive Commander Remus can be, and he’s a cold-hearted son of a bitch. One only has to look at what he’s done to his three children to know that he won’t be a good influence on Deacon. If I were in Malcolm’s shoes, I’d feel exactly as he does. “What about Mel? She appears close with Deacon, and she’s the most levelheaded of all of them. Perhaps you could get her on your side, to help influence her dad?” I suggest.

Malcolm looks pensive. “I knew I was right to confide in you,” he says, a tight smile on his face. “That might actually work. She appears to care deeply about him, and she seems like a lovely girl; however, I don’t think she has much sway over her father.”

“Perhaps not, but Cal might. If you can convince Mel to convince Cal, then you might have a shot.”

The door bursts open and a few familiar faces appear in the room. Ben wiggles his fingers at us both. Malcolm rises swiftly as I usher the others in, shooting him an apologetic look. “Thank you, Zane.” He looks like he wants to say more, but the moment is gone. He claps me on the back and leaves.

It’s late by the time I leave Command Center. There wasn’t even a gap to eat dinner. If Ari were here, she’d berate me for taking such poor care of myself. When I become immersed in technology, it’s as if the outside world ceases to exist.

I snatch a ready-made wrap, bottle of water, and an apple from the cafeteria on the way back to my apartment. An unwelcome sight greets me at the door. Cal is slouched on the ground waiting for me. I’m in no humor to suffer him. “I haven’t heard from her,” I tell him before he asks.

“That’s not why I’m here.” He pulls himself into a standing position and dusts down his pants.

“I’ve had a long day. This will have to wait until morning.” The door glides open and I step into my apartment. Cal brushes past and stands in front of me. “I don’t remember inviting you in.” I place my bottle, apple, and wrap on the table and take a glass out of the small overhead cupboard.

“This won’t take long. I know you know what she’s hiding. I need to know what’s going on.”

Damn, he’s far more observant than I’ve ever given him credit for. “I’m not talking to you about that.” I sit down and remove the plastic cover from my wrap.

“You’re loving all this, aren’t you?” He stands with his legs apart, his arms folded in front of him.

I drink thirstily and take a bite of my wrap. The food tastes like sawdust in my mouth. I can feel the heat radiating from Cal, and I know it isn’t wise to antagonize him. Besides, I’m tired and I just want him to leave. “No. I’m not loving the fact that she is so upset and confused. And if I thought that telling you might help her, then I would.” He snorts. I look up at him. “I don’t care whether you believe me or not. I’m not betraying her confidence because it’s not my secret alone to share.” I bite into the apple and ignore him, hoping he will just take the hint and evaporate.

Like, permanently.

“Goddamnit!” he yells, thumping the table. My glass slides off the top and smashes on the tiled floor.

“Cal! What on earth is going on?” Mel asks, unexpectedly joining the party. It’s only then I realize that the door is still open.

“Can you please ask him to leave?” I implore. Her long blonde hair is scraped back off her face, pulled tight in a ponytail. She wears the standard issue soldier uniform and it looks good on her. Though it’s only been a couple of weeks since I last laid eyes on her, she’s changed. There’s an air of maturity about her that’s new. I suppose learning some of the stuff she’s learnt recently is enough to age anyone.

Her eyes dart between us, no doubt taking in Cal’s aggressive stance and my world-weary look. “Cal, I think you should leave,” she says, her arm wrapping around his.

“What?” He turns on her, eyes flaming.

“You need to calm down and Zane looks tired. He is still recovering from a heart transplant operation in case you had forgotten. Surely you can pick this up again in the morning?”

“Please don’t tell me you’ve joined his fan club too?” He removes her hand from his arm.

“Cal, please. Come on—I’ll walk you home.” She tugs on his sleeve again, unfazed. Turning one final time to glare at me, he stalks out of the room, bringing all the bad energy with him. Mel follows hot on his heels. She smiles apologetically on her way out. Getting up, I push the button to shut the door and breathe a sigh of relief.

I manage to avoid Cal over the next couple of days, and he steers clear of me too. But it’s only when Ben tells me that he’s above ground on assignment that I finally start to relax. Ari is still shutting me out, and I’m trying not to read too much into that. But it’s difficult, because she has never knowingly excluded me for such an extended period of time. I worry what it might mean.

As one week turns into two and two weeks turn into three, my unease skyrockets. I begin an almost daily round of pleading with Malcolm. He understands and he is doing all he can to organize the trip, but there are significant security concerns at some of the gates, and they won’t do anything to jeopardize my safety. There is nothing I can do but sit and wait.

It’s the worst form of torture, particularly since Ari is deliberately blocking me, and I know, without a shadow of doubt, that something is most definitely wrong.

I don’t understand it. The last time we were together, it was almost like old times, as if we were finally on the same page. Every day that passes means she has more time to mull it over and more time to feel guilty about him.

She can’t love him more than me. Surely, our shared history overrides any feelings she might have for someone she’s only known for a few months. We have a real connection, Ari and I. A connection that is built on the foundation of friendship, one that transcends attraction and lust, a true relationship that signifies how deep our feelings run, the strength of our love.

I try to cling to that notion, to hold onto my hope that it’s enough. But as more time passes, fear creeps up my spine and inner demons whisper soul-destroying thoughts in my ear. What if none of our history matters anymore? Maybe he’s dug his claws in too deep, and despite everything she now remembers, he has claimed her heart.

I spend countless nights in fretless sleep, my unconscious mind debating all the reasons why she appears to be shutting me out of her life.

I throw myself into my work and my routine is pretty much: Work. Eat. Sleep. Rinse. Repeat.

When Ari and I were separated the first time—when she moved to Novo and I was left behind on Earth—I kept a mental time-check in my head. This occasion is no different. It’s been twenty-nine days, twelve hours, and fourteen minutes since I last saw her, when word comes.

I open the door and greet Malcolm. “You’re up. Pack a bag and meet me by the Velo station.”

CHAPTER 9

Malcolm bids me farewell at the Velo station in southern Italy, handing me over to Giovanni, one of the contacts he met during his time on the run from Clementia in Europe. Giovanni appears to be pushing fifty, his beard dotted with more gray than black, contrasting strangely with his smooth, hairless head. He takes one look at my light black jacket and insists that I “borrow” a jacket from his son. His son glares at me as his dad hands over a heavy brown jacket with several front pockets.

As we travel in Giovanni’s battered old van across the Italian countryside, the wind whistles through the broken, tatty canvas cover at the back, and it feels like I’m journeying through the Antarctic. Yanking the collar of the borrowed coat up over my neck, I imagine that I’m in the middle of the desert under a scorching hot sun. My attempt at mind manipulation sucks, and I shiver non-stop for what seems like hours.

When Giovanni pulls up outside a small fishing village on the edges of the Adriatic Sea, I step out of the van and I swear it actually feels warmer outside the confines of the vehicle. Giovanni hands me over to Fedro. I thank him and he wishes me a safe onward journey.

As I step onto Fedro’s boat, my mind regurgitates memories of fishing trips on Roseland Lake with Malcolm. They were good times. Simple times. When the most I had to worry about was keeping my friend Gil out of trouble and wondering where I’d bring Ari on our next date.

Fedro doesn’t speak any English but that suits me just fine. He hands me a thick, blue blanket and gestures to the small area underneath the deck. I descend the three steps into a messy cabin area. Swiping a pile of papers to one side, I clear a length of the bench and lie down.

It doesn’t take long for the exhaustion of the journey to catch up with me, and I fall asleep almost immediately despite everything that’s screaming for attention in my head. The swaying motion of the boat rocks me to sleep, and though I wake several times, I quickly drift back into unconsciousness.

Large hands clamp down on my shoulders, and I jolt upright, my heart rate rocketing in sudden alarm. Fedro gesticulates with his hand, and I get up and follow him off the boat.

This time I’m passed over to Aldo who smiles as he hands me a helmet. He barely speaks any English either, but he knows enough to confirm that we’re in Greece, on the island of Kos to be exact. Geography was never my strong point in school so I’m grappling in my head to position the location. Not that it matters. All that matters is that Ari is here, and it won’t be long before I see her beautiful face.

Hopping on the motorbike behind Aldo, my hands grip the edge of the seat. As we wind up tapered streets that become steeper and narrower, his erratic driving skills force the bike to wobble dangerously from side to side, and it’s not long before my hands circle his waist firmly. We travel for approximately twenty minutes until the bike slows down as we pass through a tree-lined paved road at the entrance to a small village on higher ground. Sheer mountainous terrain borders the sleepy village at the rear, and a stunning view of the sea is visible from the elevated ledge in front of the small village square.

He kills the engine in front of a low, broken brick wall that encases a narrow cobblestone path. Taking a step onto the path, he gestures for me to follow. We walk for about a half-mile on the dusty, gravel-strewn path. My foot crunches the gravel underfoot, and I slip several times on the uneven surface. Tilting my chin, I spot a little old church on a raised hilly section at the top of the village, a small silver cross affixed to the top of the structure. A delicate citrusy scent mingles with a sharper bitter smell as we pass a variety of different trees.

A narrow set of whitewashed steps appears in front of us, bordered by freestanding pots painted in blue. An abundance of brightly colored plants overflows the pots, and the sweet smell adds to the other delicious scents lingering in the air.

We pass a row of small, whitewashed houses, their window and door frames all painted in blue. I wonder briefly if there’s some specific village order that requires everyone to use only blue or white paint. Expecting to enter one of these houses, I’m surprised when Aldo continues on. We trudge up the incline for maybe another quarter mile, before his pace slows down.

I squint at the one-story building with rear annex that looms in front of us. The roof is tiled with red slatted brick and the walls are painted yellow; totally at odds with the white and blue color scheme of the village below. Upon closer inspection, I notice the paint is peeling in large sections, giving off an air of ill repair.

Ari darts out of the annex at the back of the house and skids to a halt when she sees me. Butterflies tumble over themselves in my chest. I’m sucker-punched. It’s the same effect she always has on me. We stand stock-still, surveying each other briefly. Even from this distance, I detect the smattering of freckles that dot her nose and cheeks, and her lightly tanned skin is glowing with vitality. Her eyes look clear and startling blue under the glare of the sun. Though she’s wearing a loose, white knee-length cotton dress, I can still detect the obvious swelling of her mid-section, and I have to forcibly pry my eyes away. It’s a blistering reality check, and it’s almost too painful to look at her even though she looks so well and better than I’ve seen her look in ages.

This was the right decision for her.

Aldo glances at Ari and then back at me and raises an eyebrow. I nod and smile. He slaps me on the back and makes a swift U-turn as he discreetly exits.

Ari takes a step toward me, slowly at first, and then she breaks out in a run. I wriggle out of my backpack and drop it on the ground. Rushing to meet her, I sweep her up into my embrace. The smell and feel of her wrap around me, and I hug her tightly to my chest. Burying my head in her hair, I ingest her wholeness and I feel complete. We stay like this for a couple of minutes until I feel her easing out of my arms. I step back and look at her.

“I missed you,” I admit. She stares at me intently. I lean in, my mouth poised to capture hers. Planting her hands on my chest, she holds me at arm’s length. Raw pain shreds my heart.

“We need to talk,” she says, wetting her lips. “How long are you here for?” Raising her hand to her forehead, she shields her eyes from the glare of the sun.

“Just under two days.”

“Okay, good.” She smiles but it doesn’t meet her eyes. “Come meet Raina’s yaya, Aggie. She told me you would visit.”

“Yaya?” I ask.

“It’s the term the Greeks use to refer to grandmother,” she explains.

Ignoring the searing pain brought on by her unexplained rejection, I dip down, scoop up my backpack, and follow her into the house.

It’s much darker inside, the tiny windows not letting in enough of the Mediterranean sun to lighten the space. I sniff, inhaling a strange musky, spicy scent that reminds me of cinnamon and cloves. An old battered wooden table and four rickety chairs with bright red and yellow cushions occupy most of the floor space in the compact kitchen. Ari walks past me into a larger room with an orange-red tiled floor and two large blue couches. A modest gray stone surround encases an open grate. I’m surprised that the house would need a fire, but I guess the climate isn’t always this glorious.

A tiny, gray-haired woman lies horizontal on the smaller of the two couches. Her eyes are closed and her legs bunched up at the knees, a thin shawl trailing the ground. Ari kneels down in front of her and places a hand on her arm. “Aggie,” she says softly. “He’s here.” Lifting up the shawl, she places it over the old woman’s shoulders.

Aggie sits up stiffly as her eyes whip open. Set within a face that is deeply lined and peppered with clusters of brown patches, her lips are paper thin, wrinkled, and pinched, but her eyes are sharp and crystal clear as they latch on mine. “Help me up, dear,” she says in a croaky heavily accented voice. Ari puts an arm around her back and helps her to stand.

Aggie hobbles toward me, and I help to support her while she repositions herself beside me on the larger couch. She cups my face. Her eyes shut and I feel the pressure from her fingertips as they dig into my skin, her touch surprisingly firm. Opening her eyes after a few minutes, she smiles widely at me and relaxes her hold. Dropping her hands into her lap, she takes my hands in hers. “We’ve been expecting you, Zane.”

“Oh?” It’s all I can think to say.

A throaty, hoarse chuckle escapes her mouth. “You are very important, young man. But you came here for a different reason, did you not?”

I glance at Ari, feeling uncomfortable in my own skin, though it’s most unlike me. Something about this little old lady is totally unnerving. “I’m going to take Zane down to the olive grove. Do you need me for anything, Aggie?” Ari asks, no doubt picking up on the unique vibes I’m sending off.

“No, child.” Aggie struggles to push off the couch. Placing my hand on her lower back, I help her straighten up. “Είναι ήπιο με το αγόρι.”

I haven’t a clue what she’s just said, but Ari seems to comprehend it, nodding quietly. I trail Ari into the kitchen and watch while she fills a jug with water, swiping two plastic cups from the cupboard under the sink. Wordlessly, I take them from her hands.

We leave by the front door and walk through a small grass path that leads to a large olive grove. A guy jumps out in front of us, from nowhere, and Ari shrieks. “Taylor! Knock it off! You scared the crap out of me.” She slaps a hand across her chest. “Jeez.”

Taylor is tall with dark brown hair that sweeps across his forehead and is shorn tight at the sides. He chuckles, displaying a dazzling set of pearly white teeth. There is no doubting my sexual orientation, but even I’d consider turning gay for this guy. He’s male model worthy. His honey-colored eyes are flecked with tiny specks of gold, and there’s a definite mischievous glint in his gaze as he gives me the once over. “The infamous Zane, I presume?”

I arch a brow at Ari. “Yes. And you are?”

“Technically Taylor is my doctor,” Ari starts to explain, “but he’s also a highly skilled tormentor. Isn’t that right, T?” Ari places her hands on her hips and gives him one of her special looks.

“Ah, sweetheart, I know you love me secretly,” he says, reaching out and mussing her hair.

“T, I swear to God, if you don’t cut it out, I’m gonna practice some of my new moves on you.” She glowers at him as she attempts to untangle her hair.

“Oh, I love the sound of that. Bring it on, sister!” Taylor throws back his head and laughs as Ari stamps her foot in frustration.

“Did you just stomp your foot?” My look is incredulous.

“It’s something that’s inevitable when T is around. Isn’t that right, buddy?” Ari says, swinging a playful punch to his arm.

Taylor stumbles back, clutching his arm as if he’s been shot. “Holy hell, what was that for?”

“Let’s call it a playful warning and leave it at that,” Ari deadpans. Taylor moves as fast as the speed of light, grasping Ari at the knees and placing her carefully over his shoulder. Ari thumps his back. “Put me down, T!”

“Nah. I think someone needs to cool off.” Taylor advances toward the house, and I decide it’s time for intervention.

“Actually, Taylor, Ari and I really need to talk.”

He spins around to face me. Ari seizes the opportunity, landing a semi-hard punch at the midway point of his back. Taylor curls forward and Ari slides down. “Okay. You win,” Taylor says in a breathless voice. “Ow, that actually hurt.”

“Shoot, are you okay?” Ari asks, concern etched on her face.

Taylor straightens up, bowing his back. “I’m fine. Man, I’m so staying on your good side from now on.”

Ari grins and shoves him playfully. He shoves her back, and I stand looking at them, utterly confused. Ari notices. “T isn’t so bad—most of the time—provided he reins in his ego.”

Taylor winks and Ari rolls her eyes. “You headed to the usual?” Taylor asks, all hint of amusement gone.

“Yup. I want to show Zane the view.”

“Well, I’ll leave you to it then. Nice meeting you, Zane. See ya later.” He saunters off, humming a tune under his breath.

“He’s the doctor? Seriously?” My skepticism is based on two observations: One, he looks far too young to have gone through med school, and two, he’s clearly a big kid trapped in a grownup’s body.

“We were just messing about. He’s actually a great doctor. Apparently he was somewhat of a child prodigy,” Ari explains. I make no attempt to smother my surprise.

Ari weaves between trees, only stopping when she comes to a small wooden structure at the bottom of the grove. She plonks down in one of the wooden deck chairs, motioning for me to sit. I sit down, placing the jug and cups on the table positioned between us.

Filling a cup, I pass it to her. “Thanks.” Her fingers graze mine and I feel the usual jolt of electricity whip up my arm. I pour myself a glass and settle back in my chair to admire the view.

We can see all the way to the coast and the surrounding islands in the distance. The terrain is an unusual combination of barren land interspersed with large pockets of green vegetation, rising boulders, and clusters of little towns. It’s a lot greener than I’d anticipated, and I’m surprised to see so many sections of forested land. The ground at the coast is flattened and empty for several hundred feet. A large mountain rises to the right, partially blocking the late evening rays of the sun. The air is hot and heavy, and there’s minimal breeze at this altitude to lessen the humidity. My T-shirt is stuck to my back and I long to whip it off, but I don’t think Ari would appreciate that. Maybe you should do it anyway.

“That’s an old volcano,” Ari says, noticing the direction of my gaze. “It’s been dormant for years.”

“Glad to hear it,” I admit, flipping my gaze back around. “It’s nice here. Peaceful.”

“I know. I like it. Didn’t think I would, but it’s pretty perfect right now.” There’s a dreamlike quality in her stare.

“How is your training coming along?” I wince at the formality in my voice.

“Good. We can only train for a few hours each day, as Aggie tires very easily, but I’ve already learned so much. I’ve been working on controlling my emotions and blanking my mind so I can focus on wielding the full power of my gift. She’s an Anagnosti too and the things she can do …” She stares off into space. “It’s amazing.”

Raina was the first one to explain what an Anagnosti was. The literal translation means “soul reader” but an Anagnosti is much more than that. It’s a multi-faceted gift bestowed on the most powerful psychics in our world. Once fully trained, Ari will be able to see into the future and physically manipulate the environment around her. Add this to her existing ability to communicate silently through her mind and her gift for sensing emotions and thoughts in others, and she will definitely be a force to be reckoned with.

“I always felt you had a very special gift.” I sneak a peek at her, and she looks so beautiful it physically hurts. “I’m glad you’re learning how to use it.” I swallow the painful lump in my throat.

“Me, too.”

We exchange looks and unspoken words hover in the space between us. Neither one of us speaks. She drops her eyes first, staring at her feet.

I can’t remember a time when we were ever this awkward around one another, and I hate it.

One of us has to be brave enough to start the discussion. It might as well be me. “So, what’s going on, Ari?”

Titling her chin, she stares at me, her eyes drilling into me as if she’s drinking in a lifetime’s worth of memories with that one look. “I’m glad you came.”

“You are?” I’m fairly surprised because all I’m picking up so far is apprehension. “It doesn’t seem that way.”

She sits up straighter, leaning onto her knees. “I didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye, but Dad all but frog-marched me out of the compound.”

“I know,” I say, resting my arms on my legs in a similar pose. “Your dad explained. And I knew you wouldn’t have voluntarily left like that.”

“I remember everything about that morning with Siva,” she says quietly, her face contorting unpleasantly.

Okay, so she wants to talk about this first. I can do that.

“What happened was not your fault.” Reaching out, I take her hand. Her fingers curl around mine, and some of the tension around my heart lifts.

“You’re wrong, Zane. But not for the reasons you think. Everything that has happened the last few months is all my fault. It’s all on me. Because of him.”

I frown because I don’t understand. “What exactly are you saying?”

“When I got to Florida, Calista told me that Micha Kloon had some sort of personal vendetta against me. I didn’t understand it then, but thanks to my regained memories, I’ve been able to piece it back together.” She shifts in her seat, angling her face closer to mine. My heart rate accelerates and I have to caution my body to calm down. “Cal and I also discovered that Micha Kloon is married to Zolt Rada.” My eyes widen in surprise. Zolt was one of the Commanders on Novo and the guy charged with running the pageant Ari was forced to participate in. “We found their wedding photo,” she continues, “and there was a little boy in the picture. Something was poking at my memory, but I didn’t connect the dots.” She exhales deeply and closes her eyes.

I’m struggling to see where she’s going with this. “And?” I prompt.

She opens her eyes. “Siva is their son, or Micha’s at least. I think.” Her brow furrows.

“What? How? He didn’t share either of their surnames.” I clasp both her hands tightly.

“I know, but he is definitely the boy in the picture. I’m one hundred percent on that. That’s the connection, Zane. This has all been about me. My mom’s death is on my hands.”

Her voice quivers. Getting up, I kneel in front of her. “No way, baby. This is not your fault.”

“Stop it, Zane!” She springs up out of her chair. “Stop trying to protect me. I’m sick of all of you doing it. I need to face up to this. I killed someone, Zane. Yes,” she says, hands raised as she spots my mouth ready to object, “it wasn’t intentional, and it was self-defense, but I covered it up. I said nothing to no one. Somehow, Micha found out and now I’m being persecuted. Everyone I love has paid the price, all because of me.”

She stares out to sea, a forlorn look on her face. I stand up and edge in close. “You have paid a price too,” I say softly. “I watched you disintegrate in front of my eyes after it happened. You must remember that now? The guilt was eating you alive. It was the one thing about the move to Novo that could be considered a blessing, because you didn’t remember that anymore. It gave you freedom from that pain.” I touch her arm at the elbow, beseeching her to agree.

“I started this whole chain of events, Zane. I don’t deserve freedom from pain. My dad was under scrutiny because of me! What happened to Mom and Lily, you, Cal, all of it was because of me! How can I ever stop feeling guilty for that?” Steely resolution is reflected in her gaze. I know that look and I don’t like it.

“Whatever you’re thinking of doing, don’t do it. You have no proof of any of this. This may not be about you at all. How could Micha have found out, Ari? Only four people know what happened that day, and one of them is dead. Neither your father nor I have told a soul, and I’m damn sure you haven’t either.” Her face is so close to mine that I’m personally acquainted with her newly acquired freckles. The craving to touch her is like an itch I can’t scratch.

“Someone saw the memory when it was being wiped. You wouldn’t know this, but they examined our memories in order to determine which ones needed to be hidden. That has to be it. Either she was there or Zolt. That’s got to be it.”

“Let’s say you’re right, and it’s true. It doesn’t change anything now.” A stray strand of hair whips across her face, and unconsciously, my fingers push it behind her ear.

She reaches up and takes my hand, closing it around her face. “Perhaps not. The damage is already done. But I have to find a way of making amends. I deserve to be punished.” Her fingers smooth up and down my hand and I tremble all over.

“You’ve been punished enough, Ari. Letting go of this was always the issue.” My eyes bore into hers as I offer up a silent prayer to God to let it be enough.

“I don’t know, Zane.” Extracting her hand, she sinks down in the chair.

“Why did you shut me out?” I blurt out, unable to contain myself any longer.

She stretches her legs out in front of her, crossing her feet at the ankles. I kneel down beside her. “I needed time to think, alone. Being here has given me perspective I sorely needed.” She clasps my hands and raises them to her lips, planting a light kiss on my skin. My whole body shudders at the contact, and instinctually, I lean in, pressing my lips to hers. She closes her eyes and kisses me tenderly before quickly pulling back. Caustic pain carves a slice out of my heart. Rocking back on my heels, I move over into the adjoining chair.

“I won’t play games anymore, Ari.” I pin her with a serious look. “I thought I was dying, and I’d made my peace with that. But I got another chance, and I’m not going to waste one minute of it. If you don’t want to be with me, then you need to tell me out straight. Because I will not back down if you still love me. I love you with every fiber of my being.” Stretching over her, I hold her face fiercely. Her eyes widen in surprise. “When I said, ‘Always and forever,’ I meant it. But if you aren’t feeling that anymore, then fine, I’ll walk away. But you need to tell me the truth.”

“Oh, Zane,” she whispers, her hand fumbling at her neck, seeking out the locket I once gave her. Her hand clutches the empty air. “I will always love you. Of that you can be sure.” My heart soars and I move in, but she raises a cautionary hand, sending my heart plummeting to my toes. “I remember it all. How much I adored you from the moment we met and how amazing it was to have you in my life.” She twists her hands in her lap and a pained look crosses her face. “But I can’t be with you anymore.” She chews on her lip.

“What? Why?” I’m struggling to connect those statements because they don’t make any sense. “Because of him?” I kick the dirt at my foot in frustration, anything to distract from the gaping hole that has just opened wide in my chest.

“In part, yes.” She reaches out, stroking my elbow and forcing my gaze to hers. “But that isn’t it, not really. I mean, I don’t think he even wants to be with me now.” I open my mouth to protest, but she raises her finger to my lips, effectively silencing me. “Every time I look at you, I see what we did. It’s a constant reminder of the awful truth. I wish I didn’t feel this way, but I do. It’s how I felt in the months after it happened, but I never told you, because I loved you so much and the thought of not being with you was too horrific. But I’ve grown up now, Zane, and being here has forced me to confront reality. As much as I still love you—and I do—I can’t be with you anymore. It’s too painful.”

She looks straight into my eyes, and her anguish is plain to see. “All our memories are haunted. The poison had already set in, well before our separation. I need to move on, and I have my baby to think of now.” Her hands move to her stomach and her fingers splay wide over her bump.

I’d never stopped hoping that once she regained her memories she would come back to me. What I didn’t realize was that it would be the very thing to rip us apart forever.

I open my mouth to protest, to fight, but she jumps in there first. “Don’t. Don’t say it, Zane. There is nothing you can say or do that will change my mind. I know it’s unfair. Everything that has happened to us is unfair, but we can’t switch the clock back. This was never what I wanted for us, but things change. Plans change. People change. I’ve faced the reality of my destiny, and now I need to embrace that because there’s so much more at stake. I will always love you,” she says, her hands clasping my cheeks, “but our relationship is over.” Her face softens as her eyes probe mine. “You couldn’t have loved me better, Zane, but it’s time to let go.” She drops her hands and averts her eyes.

I expect a flurry of tears but there is none. There is sadness and grief and pity in her gaze but no tears. Not anymore. She has come to terms with this, accepted the decision, and I doubt there is anything I can say to change her mind.

But I’m going to try.

When I told her “Always and forever,” I meant it. I can’t live without her. I don’t know how to. Even thinking that thought causes pain of the worst kind to whip through my insides, slicing and dicing as it goes. “We can find a way for you to deal with it, and then it wouldn’t be a barrier anymore.” I’m clutching at straws here and she knows it. But I can’t walk away from her, not when I know she still loves me.

It’s killing me all over again that I can’t make this right.

“Zane, even if that were possible, I would still remember. And it’s not just that. I love Cal and my future is with him. I know you don’t want to hear this, and I understand why, but you’ve got to let me go.” She nudges a clump of grass with her foot. “I need you to move on because I want you to be happy. You deserve happiness.” Her eyes look shiny but she rapidly composes herself.

“Well, then, don’t do this!” I yell, hopping up. “The only way I can be happy is to be with you.” I cringe inwardly at my blatant neediness.

“I’m sorry, Zane.” She rises. “Truly, I am.”

“I don’t want to lose you.”

“I’m already gone,” she says softly.

The look of determination on her face signals it’s a done deal. I’m seconds away from losing my mind. I can’t think. Can’t breathe. Confusion and hurt and pain, God, so much pain, churn inside me. I don’t want her to see me like this, because that will only make it harder for her. “I need some time,” I say, without looking up.

“Sure,” she whispers. “Take whatever time you need. I’ll be back at the house.” She hesitates a second before walking away.

My eyes track her until she’s gone, and then I slither to the ground, dejected and heart sore. Hugging my arms around my waist, I stare numbly into the distance. Acute pressure wells inside me and the dam erupts. My whole body shakes with gut-wrenching sobs. All the pent-up emotions I’ve kept trapped deep inside rush to the surface—the heart-splintering ache when she was first torn from me; the years of longing and craving her touch; the constant worry over her safety, and our difficult reunion as I had to witness another boy’s arms comforting her in place of mine. All the to-ing and fro-ing when we were in Clementia’s compound tossed my heart from side to side, and I was forced to watch from the sidelines while she struggled to sort out her warring emotions.

All that anguish for nothing.

To end up here.

Unlike all those other times, I have no hope now. It’s been sucked clear out of me.

She is lost to me, and there isn’t a damn thing I can do or say that will change that. My chest heaves at the harrowing realization.

I don’t know how long I sit there, but it must be hours, because gradually I become aware of the cooler air swirling over my skin, causing tiny goose bumps to lift on my arms. The sky darkens in recurring waves until I sit in the pitch black.

“Zane,” Ari calls out silently. “Please come inside.”

I trudge back to the house with a heavy heart. Ari moves as if to hug me but then stops, unsure of the boundaries. Concern shimmers in her eyes with the pain of the knowledge that she is the cause of my suffering. “I kept you some dinner,” she says quietly, taking the lid off a plate.

“I’m not very hungry.”

“You need to eat, Zane. Please.” She pulls out the chair and drags me into it, folding a fork in my hand. My body moves as if on autopilot. I eat and drink silently, my head bowed, unable to look at her.

I’m hanging on by the tips of my fingernails. I’ve always thought she was the one, so seeing her now kills me inside.

She removes my dishes when I’m finished and washes them in the sink. It’s as if I’m rooted to the chair. I wish I wasn’t here, and there was somewhere else I could go to fully give into this. Now that she’s made this decision, it’s excruciating being in her company when every part of my being cries out to hold her, to touch her. I will never again get to experience that, and the realization guts me as if I’ve taken a knife to the stomach.

“You look exhausted,” she says. And I am, the soul-crushing emotional heartache adding to the usual tiredness. “Come on, I’ll show you to bed.”

Somehow, I manage to drag my weary body to the bedroom. My backpack is already in the room. Ari grabs a few things and then moves to the door. “Sleep well,” she whispers, sorrow etched on her face.

“Wait,” I say, as she steps out of the room and starts to close the door. “Where are you sleeping?”

“I’ll take the couch. It’s fine,” she says, before I can raise any objection. “It’s plenty big and very comfortable.”

Finally, I come out of my trance-like state. “You can’t sleep on the couch when you’re pregnant. I’ll take the …” I start to say but trail off. And though I know this is likely to multiply my pain ten-fold, whether she says yes or no, the words fly out of my mouth. “Sleep here with me.” Her face contorts and I’m afraid she might cry. “Just to sleep. Please, let me hold you one last time.” I step toward her. “Please.” I’m on the verge of dropping to my knees and begging. Though I know in the long run this is only going to add to my grief, right now, I need her comfort, strange and all as that might sound.

Clearly reading something in my gaze, or perhaps she picks up on my emotions, she takes pity on me. “Okay.”

Sliding into the bed beside me, she breathes heavily with apprehension. I scoot over beside her, my front to her back, and wrap my arms around her waist. Her belly is swollen under my hands, a very real slap in the face. “Is this okay?” I whisper into her ear. She nods and I eat a mouthful of hair. Very carefully, I smooth her hair back and stroke it gently until her eyelids flutter shut. As I watch her while she sleeps, her beauty arrests me. I know I’m going to pay for this later, but I can’t stop staring at her, and my finger traces a delicate line across her face. She moans in her sleep and the sound guts me.

At some point, I must have drifted to sleep, because when I wake, I’m alone in the bed and a thin shaft of golden yellow light marks a line on the floor of the bedroom. The pain of the previous day instantly rises to attack me on all sides, and I wish I could just sleep the day away.

The door creaks as it opens and Ari peers into the room. “Good afternoon, sleepy head.”

“What?” I ask, sitting up in the bed.

“It’s after three. You’ve been asleep most of the day.” I guess it’s the resulting combination of exhaustion, heartache, and different time zones messing with my body clock.

“Wow,” I say, scrubbing a hand over my jaw.

“I left some clothes on the bed for you. It’s too hot to wear pants, and I figured you didn’t bring any shorts with you.”

My eyes flit to the tan shorts and white T-shirt emblazoned with what I can only guess is some type of old Greek symbol. “Thanks.”

“I’ll fix you something to eat while you dress.” The door closes with a resounding thud. It feels symbolic.

I join Ari, Taylor, and Aggie outside. Ari has set up lunch on a rusted, black wrought iron table. As I drop into the seat beside her, she hands me a khaki green cap. “Sunglasses are a luxury no one can afford around here. This will help shelter you from the sun.”

“Thanks.”

I seem to have mastered the art of one-word replies.

She piles a plate high with salad and cold meat and adds a piece of bread before handing it to me. “Let me guess,” she says, pinning me with a look, “thanks?”

A weak smile graces the corners of my mouth. “Yes, and for the clothes too.” Though the T-shirt swamps me and the shorts are way too baggy around my waist, I feel more comfortable in these than I did in my own clothes yesterday.

“Thank T, he donated them.”

I’m in Taylor’s hand-me-downs. Great. No wonder they don’t fit. “Thanks, man.”

Taylor tips his cap and grins.

After eating, Ari asks if I’d like to bike down to the beach. Potent yearning to be as close to her as I can for these last few remaining hours overwhelms everything else and I nod quickly.

I’ll deal with the consequences later.

It’s a good hour’s cycle to the beach. Ari points out various places as we make our descent, and I’m content to listen to her voice and revel in the sight, sound, and smell of her. On some unconscious level, I recognize that I’m trying to take a lifetime’s fill of her.

I yelp as my bare foot lands on the beach, the scorching heat of the sand almost burning my skin. Ari laughs and runs toward the sea. Sinking down at the edge, she dips her toes in the water and stretches back. I mirror her position. A welcome breeze whips at my face, and I close my eyes, soaking up the feel of the sun on my skin, the warm water lapping at my feet, and the sand underneath my fingers.

“I know this is a dumb question, but are you okay?”

I open my eyes and look at her. Her tender concern is almost my undoing. As we stare at each other, an abundance of emotion is reflected in both our eyes. Her mask slips for a second and I see the depth of her pain.

She hurts because I hurt.

I can never willingly be the cause of her pain, and I know what I need to do to make this right. “I’ll be okay. Your happiness means everything to me, and it’s not like I haven’t ever thought that this might happen.” That much is true.

Now onto the lie. “I love you enough to let you go. I faced this reality when I thought I was dying and I made my peace with the notion of you and Cal. I’ve always said I would respect your choice and I do. But it’s more than that.” Desensitizing my heart and mind, I stare intently into her eyes. The words almost kill me on the way out. “I’m ready to move on too. I can say goodbye and it’s not the end of the world.”

Except it is.

My world ceased to exist the minute she told me she couldn’t be with me.

But she’s never going to know because I won’t cry on the outside anymore.

It doesn’t matter that she says she still loves me.

She loves him more.

Pushing these thoughts aside before they betray me, I plant an even smile on my face. Not a full-blown grin—she’d never believe that.

Her eyes fixate on mine, and I know she’s tapping into my emotions. So I visualize a happy time in my mind, recalling the night of Ari’s fifteenth birthday, when we first confirmed our love for each other. I relive it all, in every glorious detail, until her shoulders relax. Tentatively, she reaches over and hugs me. The scent and feel of her threatens to overpower my self-control. But I cling to the happy memory in my head and relish the opportunity to hold her in my arms one last time.

She withdraws gently and smiles at me. “You’re still so important to me, Zane. Don’t ever think you’re not. I know it may not be possible to be friends straightaway, but I hope in time we can reclaim our friendship.”

“Me, too,” I say, though my heart is breaking in two. I can’t even contemplate whether I have the emotional stability for that.

We amble back to the house, and I help Ari fix dinner. It’s a quiet affair as Aggie has already retreated to her room for the night, and Taylor has made himself scarce again. We talk quietly for a couple of hours, sharing our grief over the demise of loved ones and discussing Saoirse’s plans for the revolution. When Ari yawns, I insist she takes the bedroom, and I settle down on the couch for the night.

Aldo turns up at midday the next day, and I enfold Ari in my arms one last time. “Stay safe,” I whisper, my voice cracking. Slipping out of our embrace, I turn and follow Aldo, ignoring the ache in my heart and the yearning to turn around and throw myself at her, begging her to reconsider.

By the time we reach the boat, my emotions are already in tatters. Fedro greets me warmly, as if I’m a long lost son. I throw my mental shields up quickly in case Ari is tempted to check in with me.

Then I head underneath the cabin, fling myself against the bench, and finally succumb to my heartache.

CHAPTER 10

I throw myself into my IT work in the weeks following my visit to Greece. Malcolm knows something went down between Ari and me but he doesn’t pry. I’m certain he recognizes the signs all the same; however, he respects my privacy as I respect his. I can tell that Anneka’s death isn’t getting any easier, though he hasn’t confided in me.

We talk about everything else except the glaring holes in both our lives.

I feel the pain of Ari’s loss as acutely as ever. I’ve deliberately kept my shield up most of the time because I don’t want her to know. If I let her catch even a glimpse of my suffering, she’ll know I’m lying and that will only add to her guilt.

I won’t do that to her.

I’ve had to lower my guard on occasion, mostly when Malcolm asks me to check in with her. I’ve spoken to her a couple of times—when I’ve felt emotionally strong enough to lie—and she is doing well. For that, I’m grateful.

Ben knows what happened, and it’s ironic that he’s the only one I can talk to. He listens objectively and his silent support means more to me than words. I trust him not to repeat what I’ve said to Cal, and I know he’s loath to interfere. Besides, Cal has been assigned to the field for weeks now, and he’s only had minimal contact with him.

Mel bounds through the door of the IT room carrying a white paper cup. She makes a beeline for me, her long blonde hair swishing over her shoulder as she walks. I match her wide smile. “Morning, Zane. The regular,” she says, handing the cup of green tea to me. For some unknown reason, Mel and Ruby have taken it upon themselves to act as my own personal version of Mother Teresa. If I don’t take regular breaks to relax, eat and drink, or throw in the towel at a reasonable hour, one of them is always there to yell at me. I don’t know if Ari has had a hand in this or not, but their concern for, and care of, me is the only bright spark in the darkness.

Mel’s eyes dart to the screen, and she crouches down staring at the images of soldiers and rebels in the field. “Still searching?” she asks, straightening up.

“Yep.” Taking the lid off the cup, I inhale the familiar aroma.

“Any luck yet?” she asks, balancing against the desk.

“No, nothing.” Ignoring the anguished lump in my throat, I take a sip of the tea. I spend an hour every morning scouring the video images for any glimpse of Isla. Having hacked into the government’s satellites, I can discreetly access camera feeds from all over the world. I load a software recognition program through the data every morning, but so far, the search has turned up empty. If Isla managed to disappear, she’s doing a damn fine job. The longer the search continues, the more my hope dwindles. I know there’s a strong possibility that she perished when the government blew up the Clementia Connecticut facility, but I can’t seriously contemplate that yet.

My heart is still way too fragile for that.

“Hey, you okay?” Mel says, clasping my arm. Her hand lingers on my skin. I was a million miles away.

“Yeah. I’m just worried, you know?” I gently remove my arm. I’ve noticed she’s frequently finding ways to touch me or brush against me, and I don’t even want to consider what that’s all about.

“Any news yet on your mom and brother?”

“Still nothing on that front either.” A familiar angst twists in my stomach. It’s been months since I’ve seen my family, and though I’ve missed them every single day, the intensity of my need has accelerated in the last few weeks. If anything has happened to them, I’ll never forgive myself. As it is, I already feel enormous guilt over the fact that they believe I’m dead. But once Clementia blew up my home and I’d gone underground, there was no way of safely contacting them to let them know I was okay.

“I hope you get good news soon.” Her face softens and she smiles shyly at me.

Mel embodies the very best of the Remus family. Ari would be pleased at how well she’s looking after Deacon in her absence. He doesn’t yet know that she’s his half-sister, but they’re as close as siblings already, a consequence of all the time they spent together in Clementia. I know Commander Remus is still trying to force Malcolm’s hand, but thankfully, they are both too engrossed in planning this revolution to devote priority to it. It’s only a matter of time though.

“You heading to the Training Unit?” I ask, pushing back my chair and standing up.

“Yeah, another thrilling day ahead.”

Her face drops and I’m sorry for bringing up the touchy subject. It strikes me then how similar she is to Ari, in some ways. “I’ll walk with you. I’ve to attend a meeting in the amphitheater.”

“Cool.” Her face lights up like a Christmas tree. “I don’t see what the issue is, except that I’m surrounded by overbearing, overprotective clowns who refuse to accept that I can look after myself,” she tells me as we walk.

“You’ve only just turned seventeen, Mel. As much as I hate to agree with anything your father says, I do see his point.” And there’s a whole heap of truth in that. Mel hadn’t completed her full Cadet training on Planet Novo and she has never been in the line of fire, so even though she feels like she could handle it, she’s unproven. At least Commander Remus cares enough to want to protect her from that. Perhaps, it’s as Mel has continually said. He has changed and is genuinely trying to make amends. She’s just not happy at the manner in which he’s gone about it.

“Not you as well!” She shoots me a half-glare, and I have to work hard to stop the grin from creeping its way on to my face.

“People care about you. Is that so bad?”

Her eyes sparkle briefly. “I guess not. But I’m fed up being stuck down here. Cal won’t even let me go visit him for a few days.” She frowns.

“I didn’t know you’d spoken to him recently. How is he?” I’m not actually asking that, but I don’t want to put it straight out there. I’ve no idea if he has spoken with Ari or what the state of their relationship is at this point. I know I shouldn’t care but I can’t help it or the teeny tiny sliver of hope that lies dormant in my heart at the thought that maybe she might reconsider if things genuinely are over between them.

“Moody as hell,” she replies.

“Same ole, same ole,” I retort and she snorts.

“I won’t tell him you said that. No point in making him even grumpier. I know this is connected to Ari, but he won’t talk about her at all.” She shakes her head and then her features freeze. “Oh, shoot. Sorry, Zane.” She bites down on her lip.

“It’s okay. You are allowed to say her name. I won’t fall apart.” My frantic heart begs to differ. I haven’t spoken to Mel or Ruby about the situation between Ari and me, but she must have or else they are just connecting the dots. Though they appear to be somewhat informed, they haven’t broached the subject beyond cursory remarks. Both girls tiptoe around me as if they’re stepping on broken glass. Something occurs to me then. I stop in my tracks and grab Mel by the arm. “Is that why you are both doing it?”

“Doing what?” Her eyes flit to my hand and I release my hold.

“The whole Florence Nightingale act. Is it because you pity me?”

“What? No! You’re a friend who is going through a tough time. We want to be there for you. Is that so bad?”

As quickly as my anger reared its ugly head, it dies away. “No, it’s not. It’s not bad at all.”

When I step into the amphitheater, I’m surprised to find only Malcolm and Calista waiting for me. “Am I too early?”

“We wanted to speak to you in private before the others arrive,” Calista says.

“We’ve good news,” Malcolm adds, smiling.

“You’ve found Mom?” I allow myself to feel a smidgen of hope.

“Yes. We’ve located them and we’re getting ready to make our move,” he confirms.

I step closer to him, my boots almost toe to toe with his. The questions fly out of my mouth. “Are they okay? Safe? When will you rescue them?”

“They are both fine,” he says, in a reassuring tone. “We’ll make contact with them in the next few days.”

“It has to be carefully planned,” Calista says, patting my hand. “We assumed the government was going to target other Velo gateways after they blew up those few in Europe, but they appear to have changed their minds. We think they have assigned spies to monitor activity instead. We don’t want to risk transporting civilians until we’ve checked all entry points and secured them. The gate in New York will be cleared imminently, and then we can move your family.”

“Thank you.” My voice is shaky, laden with emotion.

The others arrive shortly after that and the meeting commences. Calista explains that the government has ramped up their Vita implementation program and they are targeting central states. She asks if I can hack in and try to locate their schedule so we can target their teams and halt the process. I agree to get on it immediately and to coordinate with Malcolm on our troops’ schedule.

She also outlines the communications strategy which is about to hit the airwaves. It’s a focused series of information bulletins, which will be screened live across the country, advising people of the threat the government poses and explaining about Saoirse and the global rebel movement. Intel received from COs on the ground highlights the level of mistrust within the general population, and these bulletins are a way of trying to earn some of that much-needed support.

I can totally relate. Most people on Earth are completely ignorant to what is really going on, and any government news feeds they receive are pure propaganda aimed at misleading the nation. The authorities have shown them live executions of convicted informants, and most people have been terrorized into submission. We need to fight back.

It’s encouraging to see things moving forward, but we are still well away from our aim of being in a position to wrangle control. My team is making headway on the IT project, but there’s a lot more to be done before I can give the green light.

So much still hangs in the balance, and it could go either way at this point.

Malcolm asks to speak to me alone after the meeting. We head to the small coffee dock on the ground level. Taking a seat at a table in the furthest corner of the room, I wait for Malcolm to start. “It’s wonderful about your mom and Eli.”

“I know, but I won’t fully relax until they are both here.”

“I understand completely.” He stares off into space and gulps. Refocusing, he faces me. “I fear I may have made a mistake in sending Ari away.” He blows on his coffee before lifting the cup to his lips.

I put mine down and peer into his eyes. “What’s happened?”

“Micha Kloon has gone off the grid. I’m concerned she may be going after Ari.”

When I came back from Greece, I talked to Malcolm about Siva, explaining Ari’s suspicion that he was Micha’s son. Malcolm was able to fill in the gaps. President Calavero sat in on Ari’s memory erase procedure, and he must have been the one to notify his sister. Malcolm also recalled a previous conversation with Micha where she admitted that she’d had a son out of wedlock when she was just seventeen. Directly after our conversation, Malcolm had asked one of our Novo sympathizers to keep track of Micha, to be on the safe-side.

“Crap.” Knots twist in my stomach. “I can try and find a lock on her.”

“Are you sure you have time? It sounds to me like there’s a lot riding on your shoulders.”

“I’ll ask Ben to run the software recognition program through the data feeds on a continual basis. There’s a slight risk of detection, but screw that if Ari is in danger.” I slump in my chair, panic building at an alarming rate.

“I could be over-reacting, but I don’t want to take any chances. I’ve notified our allies on the ground and I’ve gotten word to Aldo. He’ll keep an eye on her.”

“Are you going to bring her back here?” One part of me prays that his answer is yes, and the other part hopes it’s a no.

“Not yet. I don’t want to transfer her until I know where Micha is. Plus, we still need to secure the gateways. My hands are tied for the next couple of weeks at least.” He props his elbows on the table and buries his head in his hands.

I reach out to him. “She’ll be okay. She has her gift and she knows how to defend herself.”

He looks up at me. “I know, but I can’t help worrying.”

Thing is, neither can I.

I’m at my desk the following morning when Ben hops up, shrieking. “Zane, quick. You need to see this.”

Pushing back my chair, I dash to his side. The image on his screen is paused, the picture blurry. My eyes narrow in on the screen, and I can just about make out a blonde head in black combat uniform crouching down in a side lane. Several figures squat similarly in front and behind her. “Is it her?” My eyes don’t move from the image.

“Yes, I think so. Look,” Ben says, tapping a report. The program has identified Isla. It’s her. She’s alive.

I slap him on the back. “Thanks, man.” I slump down in the empty chair beside him, my body almost folding in on itself with relief.

“You thought she was dead?”

I nod. At this stage, I had pretty much given up hope. “This is great news.” I swivel in my chair. “Where is she?”

“This was captured at ten p.m. last night in Stafford,” he confirms. So, she’s still in the area. Figures.

“Any sign of Micha?”

“Nothing yet but I’ll keep on looking.”

I’m itching to ask him if he has spoken to Cal, to find out whether he has been in contact with Ari. But I can’t make myself ask him. It isn’t fair to place him in the middle, and I know he’s trying to be a friend to both of us. So I say nothing and head off in search of Malcolm instead.

It isn’t difficult to track Malcolm down. He’s in his usual lair in Command Center. Advising that I’ve located Isla, I tell him that I need to go and see her. He agrees to organize something.

Later on that night, a group of us gathers in the fake garden on the lower level. Ruby’s head is snuggled in Jaden’s lap and his fingers drift in and out of her hair. It’s still strange to see them together. That’s a pairing I never would’ve predicted. She’s a good influence on him, though. While he’s still a douche, it’s toned down a notch.

“What are you going to do about Isla?” Ben asks. Mel sits cross-legged beside him and her ears perk up.

“I’m going to Stafford to talk to her. I need to know that she’s okay.”

“Can I come?” Mel asks, sitting up on her knees.

“It’s too dangerous, Mel.” She arm punches me. “Ow.” I rub my arm. Man, that girl has a mean right hook on her.

She pins me with a look of derision. “How long will you be gone? A couple of days at most?”

“Most likely.”

She twirls a lock of blonde hair around her finger and looks up at me through a fan of wide, long lashes. “And you’ll be under some unit’s command, I assume?”

I nod. She wets her lips.

“Then I really don’t think it’s that dangerous.” She tilts her head to the side, smiling sweetly at me.

Her blatant charm offensive hasn’t gone unnoticed, but in that moment, she reminds me so much of Ari that I falter. If Ari was confined here, and itching for a change of scenery, she would totally invoke the same ploy. Maybe that’s why I consent, or perhaps I just take pity on her.

“Don’t make me regret this, but yeah, okay, you can tag along.”

“Yay!” She scoots over and flings her arms around my neck.

Jaden chuckles out loud. “Ulterior motives, sis?”

Mel scowls. “Shut up, Jaden.”

“Stop teasing, Jay,” Ruby scolds.

“What?” he asks, the picture of innocence. Lifting his head to Mel, he says, “I think it’ll take more than a fluttering of your eyelashes to get Dad to agree to that plan.”

“Who said anything about asking him?”

“Wait a minute …” My voice trails off as the initial protest dies on my tongue. I can’t stand Commander Remus, and if this ticks him off, then sign me up for that. I’ll make sure to keep Mel safe, and as she says, it’s only a day or two at most; how much trouble could we encounter?

Two nights later, Mel and I are lounging in the Velo station waiting for Malcolm to escort us. Mel hops from foot to foot, her nervous excitement almost palpable. It dredges up the memory of another night. With a pang, I recall the night of Ari’s fifteenth birthday, when I’d surprised her with a nighttime dinner in a cave that bordered the edge of my best friend Gil’s family vacation estate. I remember how she had bounced excitedly down the path toward the beach, her thrill obvious.

I’ve got to stop thinking of Ari at every juncture, but it’s difficult to switch my brain off when it’s so attuned to thinking of her twenty-four-seven. My thoughts drift to Gil, as they have regularly over the last few years. I never got to say goodbye to my best bud the day that everything turned to crap on Earth. I was so distraught at being separated from Ari that nothing or no one else had crossed my mind until it was too late. When I’d reconnected with Malcolm, I’d asked him about it, and he’d confirmed that Gil’s family moved to Novo. At least he is safe, and I hope that one day we will see each other again.

Approaching footsteps drag me out of my inner thoughts. As Malcolm rounds the corner, he stalls when he spies Mel. “I wasn’t aware you were joining us, Mel. Your father never mentioned it.”

“It was kind-of last minute, sir,” she lies. Malcolm looks at me and I return his stare with a neutral look. Now I feel guilty. This is sure to cause more trouble between the two men, and if I’d stopped to consider that a couple of nights ago, I might have been more reticent about agreeing.

But it’s too late to do a U-turn now.

The Velo approaches, and as the three of us step onboard, I sincerely hope that I’ve made the right decision.

CHAPTER 11

Malcolm escorts us off the Velo at the New York gateway. A powerful desire to track down Mom takes root inside me. I wish I’d thought to factor this in before we set out. I blurt out my intent. While Malcolm understands my request, it’s far too risky without advance notice. He insists that we stick with the pre-arranged plan, and I have to reluctantly agree. It’s difficult though. To think I’m in the same state as my family. So close but still so far.

Our ride is waiting when we reach high ground. We clamber in the back of the large Humvee, and it eases out onto the pavement. The streets are deathly quiet, the roads empty except for the odd passing vehicle. The driver weaves in and out of back streets and side alleys and bypasses main routes as much as possible to avoid detection.

Mel dozes beside me, her head slouched against my shoulder. Malcolm and the driver converse in hushed voices.

It takes about four hours to reach the old Clementia warehouse in Connecticut. The rebels have successfully taken over the facility, and it’s now a makeshift home for Saoirse soldiers, local rebels, and emancipated civilians. We are shown to some empty bunks, and we try to snatch a few hours’ sleep before it’s time to venture out on our search.

We vacate the warehouse at six a.m. with one of the local units. Apparently, there is a rebel base just outside Stafford Ranger Town, which Malcolm feels is the best place to start the search. Daylight is just breaking as we commence the journey. Huddled in the back of the old army van, I am wedged between Mel and one of the unit soldiers. The men stare straight ahead, wearing bleak expressions, no doubt mentally preparing themselves for the day ahead.

Mel throws up the minute we exit the van. I sweep her hair away from her face while she spews. Handing her a bottle of water, I am already questioning the wisdom of bringing her here. Malcolm gave me a stern lecture earlier after he got off a call with Commander Remus. He’s none too pleased with either of us, but there isn’t anything he can do about it now.

The local rebel base has been gobbled up by the makeshift base established by Saoirse for their soldiers. Rows of white pods occupy the full width of the field. Several military vehicles are parked off to the left, and men and women in military attire, guns slung over their shoulders, congregate in small groups or mill about the space. I spot a couple of large tents in the center, one with a painted red cross and letters spelling out MEDICAL on the roof. The adjacent similar-sized tent is clearly identifiable as the cafeteria and the third a military Command Center. Looking around, all I can see are people and pods, as far as my eye can stretch.

I’m surprised that such a base is so open and exposed. I shudder. Malcolm spots the movement and raises a brow. “It’s very exposed. Is it wise given the increase in targeted government attacks?” I pose what has to be an obvious question.

“We’ve deployed an early warning detection system that will spot any air attack from two hundred miles out. Soldiers man it around the clock, so we’ll have adequate time to disperse if the authorities attack. The local rebels have also dug underground hideouts all over the forest at the rear,” he says, gesturing over my head, “So, worst case scenario, we can flee there. Don’t worry; you’re surrounded by some of the most experienced military we have. You’ll be safe here.”

Though his words sink into my brain, they don’t do much to reassure me. I feel decidedly on edge. It’s probably not that surprising when I think about it. I’ve always felt much more at home chained to a desk than leading the charge at the front.

I scan my surroundings again. This place is vast, much bigger than I anticipated, and I don’t know how we’re expected to find Isla out here. My shoulders slump forward dejectedly. “Hey?” Mel says, tilting my chin up with her finger. “We will find her.”

“I wasn’t expecting it to be so big.”

“I know. It’s pretty impressive.”

Mel’s eyes gleam and I can see how much she craves to be a part of all this. It’s a feeling I can’t relate to. “Let’s grab some breakfast and discuss how best to set up the search.”

Malcolm catches up to both of us just as we’re leaving the food tent. I’d like to say it’s with a full belly, but the unappetizing bowl of sludge I’ve just eaten, a.k.a. porridge, has scarcely taken the edge off my hunger. “I’ve made a few inquiries,” he says, walking briskly beside me. “A woman fitting Isla’s description has been staying here. Apparently, the western side of the field is where most of the local rebels reside. Best to start your search there. I’ll be in the Command tent if you need me.” He slaps me on the back. “Good luck and be careful.”

Mel and I set off in a westerly direction, our feet dredging through mud and matted grass. Most of the pods are open, their occupants either missing or engaged in conversation or passive activity. We pass men smoking, cleaning their boots, and shaving over soapy bowls, craning to see properly in tiny portable mirrors. Though I’ve never held any desire to follow in my dad’s footsteps, there is something inviting about the obvious camaraderie and the buzz of adrenaline zipping through the air. Mel is in clear awe, beaming from ear to ear, her hair whipping around her face as she twists from left to right, trying to soak it all in.

“You’d love to be out here, wouldn’t you?” I ask.

“More than anything.” Her voice has a dreamlike quality to it. From our brief chats during our sojourn in Clementia, I know that Mel was training to be a soldier, but we never discussed why. I’m curious as to her motivation.

“Why did you decide to pursue a military career?” I glance sideways as we walk. She chews on the inside of her cheek, and her mood sobers. Perhaps it’s too personal, and I shouldn’t pry. “I don’t mean to be intrusive. We can talk about something else if you like.”

“No, it’s okay. I want to tell you.” She looks directly into my eyes. “It’s because of my mom.”

I curse silently at my inadvertent lack of sensitivity. “How old were you when she died?”

“Nine.” She thrusts her hands into her pants pocket and stares at her feet.

“I know what it’s like to grow up without a parent.”

“How old were you when your father died?” she asks, twisting slightly to look at me.

“Fourteen,” I admit. “Ari’s dad took me under his wing, and that helped. But as great as Commander Skyee is, he could never replace my dad. And I felt so helpless, unsure of how I could look after Mom. She was so cut-up. It killed me to see her like that.” Even talking about it now, over five years later, is still difficult.

“I don’t think my dad even cared that my mom was gone,” Mel says in a shaky voice.

Way to go, Zane. Keep putting your foot in it, why don’t you? “Maybe he just couldn’t show it?”

“For years I thought he was incapable of showing anything even close to love. The only one who looked out for me growing up was Cal. I don’t know what I would’ve done without him. I hated my dad.” Her jaw clenches tightly and I feel her pain, but I also recognize that she used the past tense: hated, not hate. “Not just for how he responded after Mom’s death but also for his treatment of her while she was alive. He was horrible to her. Always angry, always shouting. Nothing she did was ever good enough.” She stops abruptly, exhaling deeply. I so regret opening up this conversation, though maybe it will be cathartic to get some of it off her chest.

Stepping toward her, I place my hand on her arm. “We don’t have to talk about this if it’s too difficult.”

“No,” she says, sniffling, “I want to tell you this. I haven’t spoken to anyone else about it with the exception of Cal. I was always too embarrassed to tell any of my friends.” She averts her gaze.

“Hey, I won’t judge.” I take her hand in mine, hoping to reassure her. Something sparks to life in her eyes, and a slight flush spreads over her cheeks. Oh, no. No, no, no. I hope she isn’t reading too much into this.

“I think my dad drove my mom to kill herself.”

My throat dries at her admission. I’d no idea how her mother died and I feel saddened for her. To have to deal with your mom’s suicide at such a young age must have been so confusing especially when there was no other parental support on offer. That she’s such a nice person is all down to her strength of character and the capacity of her heart. “But still, how could she do it? How could she leave us with him?” Tears roll freely down her face and my heart aches for her. Spying an empty pod behind us, I take her gently by the arm and pull her inside. We sit down on the bed, side by side.

“I don’t know, Mel. She must have been hurting so badly that she couldn’t think straight. I’m sure she loved you. It’d be impossible not to.”

She looks up at me through damp eyes and smiles. “I want to be in the military because of her. I swore that I would never get into a position where I couldn’t defend myself or stand up for what I believed in. I also did it for Cal, to stay close to him. He’s all the family I really have.” She chews on the corner of her fingernail.

Though I want to wring his neck for ruining my life, I have to begrudgingly admit that Cal has a good heart. “You two seem to share a special bond.”

“We do. I can never repay him for all he has done for me. Which is why it’s so hard to see him in so much pain now.” She scrunches her face, conscious she’s dragged Ari into the conversation again.

I want to say something, anything to end the uncomfortable silence in the room. But no words spring to mind.

“Is it truly over between you?” she asks, peeking up at me. My heart throbs painfully in my chest as I nod. “I’m sorry,” she whispers.

“So am I.” Dropping my chin, I stare at my feet. “I have to rethink my whole life because everything in my world centered around her,” I admit.

We are both quiet for a few minutes. “I’ve decided to forgive my dad,” she says, moments later. I look at her in amazement, wondering how anyone could be so charitable. “I believe him when he says he is trying to make amends. And now that I know about Ari’s mom, and Deacon, I understand it better. Not that it makes it right,” she rushes to assure me, “But it’s helped me feel more compassion toward him. Do you think that’s foolish?”

I look at the vulnerability and inherent goodness in her face, and I’m in awe of her decision. “Actually, I think that’s very brave.”

“You do?” She looks at me incredulously.

“Yeah, I do.” Flinging her arms around my neck, she presses into me, and I’m hyper-aware of the undercurrent in the air. Her fingers slip into my hair. I can’t let this go any further. “Mel?” She eases out of my embrace and stares at me expectantly. Her gaze drops to my lips and I curse my timing. “You understand that I still love Ari?” She nods slowly. “I can’t even consider being with anyone else.”

Her cheeks darken and she moves sideways, creating a gap between us. For one awful moment, I think she might cry, but she composes herself. “I understand.” Standing, she turns her back to me. “We still need to find Isla. Are you coming?”

I rise swiftly and follow her wordlessly out of the pod. The easygoing atmosphere has evaporated, and I don’t know what it is about me lately, but I can’t ever seem to find the right words.

I’m falling apart without Ari.

When we reach the western edge of the camp, we split up and head off individually to investigate. I spend the best part of an hour walking from pod to pod, showing the picture of Isla, and asking everyone if they have seen her. Every negative response enhances my frustration. When I spot Mel striding toward me, I look at her in anticipation. She shakes her head and I feel like hitting something. I meet Mel halfway.

“No joy either?” she asks when we reach each other.

“Damn it all to hell!” I yell.

“Zane?” a voice says behind me. “Bro? Is that you?” I freeze on the spot. It can’t be. I whip around fast, blood thudding in my veins. “Oh my God! It is you!” Gil says, running toward me.

We crash into each other and hug for a solid minute without speaking. “Man, it’s so good to see you.” I step back and give him the once over. “You look good. Not as ripped as usual, but hey, we all let our standards slip from time to time.”

He grins as he punches me in the arm. “And you’re still a dork!” He hauls me into a headlock and we jostle each other, shoving and pushing repeatedly.

“Should I be worried?” Mel asks.

That effectively distracts us. I straighten up, preparing to introduce Mel to my best bud, but Gil gets in there first. His eyes drink her in, and I spot the telltale glint in his eye. Here we go. Good to see he hasn’t changed. “Well, hello beautiful. I’m Gil, this dork’s oldest, wisest, funniest, and hottest—definitely hottest—best friend.” He takes her hand to his lips and kisses it. Old school charm. You can’t help but love Gil. Mel blushes sweetly, and I can tell that Gil is instantly sucker-punched.

“I see your addiction to blondes hasn’t waned in the slightest,” I tease.

“Even if I was cured, I’d be addicted all over again,” Gil says, winking at Mel.

She looks nervously from him to me and I take pity on her. “Mel, don’t mind this ass. He’s the biggest flirt this side of the galaxy.” I move beside her and shoot her a reassuring look. “He’s also my best friend, and we haven’t seen each other for years.” I divert my attention back to Gil. “I thought you were on Novo?”

“Long story.” His smile fades. “Can you stick around?”

“We’re here for a couple of days. I’m trying to find a friend of mine. Have you seen her?” I rip the photo out of my jacket pocket and show it to Gil.

“Isla’s a friend of yours?”

I rock back, startled. “You know her?”

“Know her as in the biblical sense? Or just know her?” Gil asks, the flirty look back on his face.

“Oh good God, you didn’t.” I cast a quick glance at Mel and sure enough, she’s blushing.

“Got to keep the man-bits in working order.” Gil smirks and I shake my head. Gil and Isla? Wow, can’t wait to hear how that came about.

“Eh, I think I’ll leave you two to catch up in private,” Mel says, shuffling awkwardly from foot to foot.

“Wait.” I reach out and grab her hand before she walks away. “You don’t leave my side. That was the deal. Remember? Your dad and brother will string me up if anything happens to you. I sure as hell don’t need any more grief from either of them. You feel me?”

She nods shyly. “Gil, do you know where Isla is now? I really need to speak to her.”

“She’s on duty in Stafford, but she should be back in a couple of hours. I’m not up to much right now. Let’s hang out. We’ve tons to catch up on.”

I’m torn. I want to catch up with Gil but I’d rather not have an audience. Besides, I can tell he makes Mel nervous as hell and she’s definitely not equipped to manage him. However, I don’t want to hurt her feelings by off-loading her back to Malcolm.

Gil hasn’t been my best buddy for years for nothing. He gives a subtle nod to let me know he understands and then he takes control of the situation. “Mel? Let me introduce you to a few of the girls. Come on.” He tilts his head to the right. “I won’t bite. I promise.” He gives her his most innocent look.

And then ruins it. “Unless you want me to.”

“Gil,” I growl. “Behave.” He raises his hands and plasters the innocent look back on his face. Man, I’ve missed him so badly. And he couldn’t have come back into my life at a better time.

After we’ve left Mel safely in the hands of a couple of Gil’s friends, we head back to his pod. Gil swipes a beer out of a small, white refrigerator and hands it to me. I look at him shell-shocked. “How in the hell did you manage to find beer in the middle of a damn revolution?”

“I always have my priorities in order.” He smirks, twisting off the cap. I do the same and take a welcome glug. “I can’t believe you’re here,” he says, serious all of a sudden. “I thought I’d never see you again.” A muscle thrums in his jaw.

“I know.” I felt the exact same way. “Were you here the whole time?” He nods. “What about Jude? Emily?” I inquire, thinking of our other childhood friend and Gil’s girlfriend.

His hand stills halfway to his mouth, and he puts the bottle back down. His face contorts. “They’re both gone.”

I want to ask how and when, but I don’t think I can handle it right now. We sit quietly side by side, both absorbed in our own thoughts. “To Jude,” I say, clinking my bottle against Gil’s. My voice has a hollow ring to it.

“For Emily,” Gil says, tapping his bottle against mine. We both draw large gulps before turning to face one another.

“Where’s Ari?” Gil asks and his face drops when he sees the expression on my face.

“She’s alive and she’s well,” I rush to reassure him.

Gil frowns. “I don’t understand. What’s up with the face?”

“We’re not together anymore.” I can barely breathe after vocalizing it.

“Shit, man. I’m sorry. Do you want to talk about it?”

I draw a deep breath and then do something I should have done years ago: I tell Gil what went down with Siva that fateful July morning. I talk non-stop for at least an hour, telling him everything that has happened to Ari and me over the course of the last two plus years. He listens without interruption until I tell him about Ari’s engagement and pregnancy and my coma and subsequent heart transplant. He jumps up in alarm, freaking out. “That is twisted shit. Jeez.” He scrubs a hand over his jaw.

Then I ask him to tell me where he’s been, and he explains how he refused to travel to Novo with his family because his dad hadn’t arranged anything for Syl. Syl was his family’s housekeeper for years, and she was more like a mother to Gil than his own mother. I’m not surprised that he would side with her instead of leaving for Novo with his family. I’m saddened when he explains that she passed away a year ago and that’s when he got involved with a group of local rebels.

“Zane!” Isla’s frantic plea reaches my ears, and I’m on my feet instantly. Gil unlocks the door and I step outside. Isla rushes me, almost knocking me over. Lifting her up, I swing her around as she sobs into my neck. She clings to me as I wrap my arms around her and close my eyes.

After a couple of minutes, I place her on the ground and step back, holding her at arm’s length, drinking in her wholeness. Her hair touches her shoulder blades and she’s lost some weight, but other than that, she’s exactly how I remember. She rubs her eyes and sniffles. “I thought you were dead,” she wails.

“Ditto.” I cup her face and spontaneously kiss her lips, pulling back before she can latch on. It’s not a romantic gesture and I don’t want her thinking it is either. I drop my arm over her shoulder and squeeze her into my side. “Thank God, you are okay. I was so worried about you.” I catch sight of Mel off to the side. She looks miserable and I can guess why. Isla peers at her and scowls. You have got to be kidding me.

Gil’s gaze flits between Isla and Mel. “I think you’ve been holding out on me, buddy.” He smirks. I shoot him a quick warning look and subtly shake my head.

“You two know each other?” Isla asks, eyes narrowing to pinpricks.

“He’s my oldest friend,” I explain, pushing a stray strand of hair out of her eyes.

“Wonderful,” Isla says, looking like it’s anything but.

I don’t know what’s going on with those two, but I don’t want to get caught up in the middle of another drama right now. “Can we talk somewhere privately?”

“Of course. We can go to my pod. It’s this way,” she says, dragging me along.

“Mel? Can you stay here with Gil? I won’t be too long.” She nods unhappily and I feel a pang of guilt, though I’m not sure why.

Gil moves over to her side and drapes his arm over her shoulders. “Come on, sweetheart. Let’s get better acquainted.” He winks at her and Mel almost physically recoils from him. Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Mel with any guy. It’s clear she’s uncomfortable around members of the opposite sex, or maybe it’s just Gil’s blatant flirtatious nature that is off-putting.

Shucking out of Isla’s embrace, I tug Gil around the corner of the pod. “I meant what I said before. Keep your grabby hands to yourself. She’s Cal’s younger sister, and I don’t need any more grief from him.”

He twirls the air above his head in a circular motion. “I’ll be an angel. Swear to God.”

Man, it’s so good to see Isla again. I’ve missed her friendship so much. We’ve been updating each other on what we’ve both been up to during the weeks of our separation. Isla explained how Dr. Hann helped her escape, only a few hours before the government blew up the compound.

She’s lucky to be alive.

We’re both lucky to be alive.

I’ve told her about my trip to Novo, my heart transplant, the President’s plan for me, and my eventual escape and rescue. I’ve tried to explain about Saoirse and the underwater Command Center, but it’s pretty difficult to describe it to someone who has never been there. I’m sure the look of incredulity on her face more or less matched mine the day I was told.

“Do you have any idea where Dr. Hann is now?” He was more than my doctor. He was someone I considered a friend. I’m worried for him.

“He was planning on tracking down his family in Texas.”

“I hope he made it.” I force my concern for him to the side. I’ve enough worries on my mind as it is. I have to trust that he made it there safely, that he’s okay. “How did you end up joining forces with local rebels?”

She tucks her hair behind her ear. “They found me, actually. I didn’t have many options so it seemed logical to join them. And I like it here. It feels good to be doing something constructive for a change. We were such fools to believe all that crap that Clementia fed us. We sat around for months not doing much.” She shakes her head. “That should’ve been clue enough to their motives. All the while, pockets of local resistance were springing up in cities across the states. That’s where we should’ve been.” She leans back and sighs.

“Everything is always clearer in hindsight,” I say, twisting around on the bed. “They were clever enough to manipulate us all into thinking they had a legitimate agenda. At least we know the truth now.”

“Do you think we can win?”

“Yes. I believe we can. Saoirse has formulated an attack strategy that targets the government on several levels. Provided we can hold our own while things are being progressed, then I think we’ve a reasonable to good chance of success. They’ve assigned me to continue my IT project, and the team is starting to make good progress. I know they’ve suffered a setback on the ground with the knowledge that not all the Vitas can be removed, but they’re focusing on a workaround.”

“So, how long are you here for?” she asks, sitting up and stretching out her legs.

“I’ll have to leave in the morning. I just needed to see that you were okay, and you are.” I cup her face in my hand and kiss her forehead. “What are your plans? Will you come back with me?”

She purses her lips. “That depends.” She pins me with a strange look.

“On what?” I’m almost afraid to ask.

“Um. What about Ari?”

I throw my head back and inwardly groan. Twisting my head from side to side, I try to release some of my stress before the next layer is added. “Ari is in Greece working on her psychic abilities. And before you ask, we aren’t together. It’s over between us.” I deliberately look away, unwilling to gauge her reaction.

She gulps audibly before addressing me. “What about us?”

I decide to go with the easiest truth. Looking up, I stare into her face, noticing the hesitant expectation residing there. “I still love her, Isla. I can’t even consider being with anyone else.”

“Ever?”

I shrug my shoulders. “I don’t know how I’ll feel tomorrow, in a week’s time, a month’s time. I can only deal with the here and now. It’s one day at a time. But I will tell you what I’ve learnt from these last few months. Life is precious and we don’t know what is lying in wait for us around the corner. Live your life, Isla. Don’t wait for me because I don’t know if I can ever be there for you in the way you’d like.”

“What about you, Zane? When are you going to start living your life? If you’ve accepted that Ari and you are in the past, then why can’t you throw yourself into your future? Or are you going to spend another two years wallowing in grief? Sometimes, you need to take risks and just put yourself out there.”

“I can’t help how I feel, Isla. And I won’t drag anyone else into the pit with me.” It’s a struggle to keep a level tone when the strength of my frustration demands that I scream and shout about the unfairness of life.

“What if I want to be dragged into it? Damn the consequences?”

There’s a look of desperation in her gaze that only one who has been there can recognize. She’s putting her heart on the line for me, and how I wish I could accept that, but I can’t. “I care about you too much to do that to you.”

“For God’s sake, Zane! That’s not your decision to make. I’m telling you it’s a risk I’m willing to take knowing full well that it may not work out as I’d like. But I’m prepared to take that chance. Can’t you even meet me halfway?” Her arm fastens around mine, and she inches in, her lips dangerously close to my mouth.

“I won’t make this any more complicated than it already is. I need time, Isla.”

“Kiss me,” she demands, moving in closer.

I look at her lips, and it would be so easy to get lost in her now. I know I could do it and it would ease the ache in my heart temporarily. But the gut-wrenching pain would still be there after, and all I’d feel is overwhelming guilt at drawing her into my mess. Because the bottom line is this: She wants a relationship with me, and I can’t give her that. And I don’t know if I desire that for us at all. That I’m attracted to her is a given. But I don’t feel the same deep pull that I do with Ari. And I don’t want to treat Isla as a casual fling because that would destroy our friendship forever. She deserves better than that. At least this way, we might be able to salvage the friendship we share.

In this moment, that is what matters most to me. I can only hope that in time she will understand.

“I’m sorry, Isla. I can’t.” I remove her hand and stand up. “I won’t willingly hurt you. In time, hopefully, you’ll realize that I’m trying to do the right thing by you here.”

The pain of rejection is written all over her face and I hate myself. “I never stood a chance at all, did I?” Her voice is laden with sorrow, and I feel like such a bastard. With every kiss and every caress, I’ve been leading her on, filling her with false hope. And I thought I was a better person than that.

“I’m so sorry, Isla.” It’s all I can offer. It is nowhere near enough, but it’s all I can give her at this time. A single tear rolls down her cheek and I’m horrified. “It doesn’t mean I don’t care or that I don’t love you. Just not in the way you’d like. I still want you to join me in Saoirse.”

She stands on shaky feet, swiping her sleeve across her face. “I think it’s best to be apart for now.” She sniffles and I hand her a paper towel from my pants pocket. “Besides, I’m adding value here and I want to stick with my unit.”

Though I don’t like the idea of her being so exposed, I can respect her decision. And I understand the need to stay away. I’ve adopted the same reasoning. I can’t hope to get over Ari if I’m in constant contact with her or if I were to see her every day. If this is what Isla needs to come to terms with it, then I can’t force her hand. “Of course. But promise me you will keep safe?”

“Don’t worry, Zane. I don’t have a death wish, and it’s not the end of the world if you don’t want me. It isn’t as if I haven’t had other offers.” Her tone is becoming sharper as the pain bites back.

I wince at her bluntness but deny the urge to soften the blow. Continuing to talk about this isn’t helping either one of us. “I’m glad you have.” Her eyes narrow as she focuses on me. “I need to catch up with Gil and Mel, but I’ll come find you later.” I walk out of the pod, giving her time to analyze her thoughts.

Dinner is an awkward affair. Every so often, I intercept quizzical looks from Mel and downright painful glances from Isla. Gil is loving the drama, and I can tell he’s dying to ask me what’s going on.

We are seated around a campfire later on when we finally get the chance to talk. Mel and Isla have both retreated for the night. Feeling relieved, I realize how tightly strung I am from all the romantic distractions. I’ll be glad to get back to my work so that I have something else to occupy myself with.

“Spill, dude,” Gil says, handing me a beer. I update him on my past with Isla and Mel’s apparent crush.

“Maybe Isla’s right. You should just throw yourself back into the game, and that will help keep your mind off Ari,” Gil says, throwing another wooden stick on the fire.

“I can’t drag anyone else into my mess. That will only make things ten million times worse. Besides, I don’t want to be with anyone else. Forcing myself would defeat the purpose.” I drain the remainder of my beer.

“So, both girls are fair game then?” Gil asks, cocking his head to the side.

“Hands off Mel.” My tone is gruffer than intended.

“Whoa!” Gil says, raising his palms. “You sure you don’t have feels for her?”

“It’s not that, Gil. She’s still innocent and you’re far too much of a handful.”

“Love you too, bro.” Gil chuckles and tosses his empty bottle behind him. “Does that mean I have fair crack at Isla?”

“What is going on with you two anyway?” I cross my legs at my ankles.

“We hooked up one time, a couple of weeks back. But she’s given me the cold shoulder since then, and you know how I love a challenge.” He rubs his palms across his pants.

“Isla can take care of herself, and I have no claim on her. All I ask is that you don’t play games with her because she deserves more respect than that.”

“I hear you, bro, and you know I never intentionally set out to hurt anyone.” And isn’t that the truth. Gil has a heart of gold. It’s not his fault that he’s a total man-slut. I guess we all have our unique ways of dealing with our demons.

We call it a night a little while later and I head over to my pod. Mel’s facing away from me so I can’t tell if she’s asleep or not. I tiptoe in and creep under the covers.

A loud rumbling noise wakes me a couple of hours later. Mel sits bolt upright in her bed the same time I do. A strange ringing sound echoes outside and then there’s a loud explosion. I climb out of bed and stab my finger on the keypad at the door. It opens with a sharp click. Peering out cautiously, I see blasts of orange and red flaring in the dark sky. Loud screams mix with ear-shattering cries and the unmistakable sound of gunfire as we both scramble to get dressed.

Exchanging worried looks as an explosion causes the ground to shudder and tremble underfoot, we stare wide-eyed at each other as reality bites.

The camp is under attack.

CHAPTER 12

Keeping Mel tight to my back, I step out of the pod. Soldiers race in every direction, some shouting instructions as they run. I clasp Mel’s hand and dash toward Gil’s pod. He is outside, surrounded by a group of local rebels including Isla, relaying hurried instructions and handing out weapons. Noticing our approach, he throws two guns to me.

Another loud explosion rocks the camp and I look up. Several stealth-craft hover overhead, dropping missiles in quick succession. “Damn. What can we do?” I ask.

“They’re targeting the medical tent,” Mel screams, pointing. “We have to help them!”

She runs off before I can stop her. Cursing under my breath, I sprint after her but she’s much quicker than I am. Gil shouts something behind me, but I’m too far away to hear. Soldiers slam into me as they run in the opposite direction. A loud fireball lights up the sky and I halt briefly as one of the stealth-craft careers into the ground, its side engulfed in flames. A rousing cheer resounds on the far side of the camp. Dragging my gaze away, I continue ahead, my eyes scanning the area in front of me for any sign of Mel. But I can’t see her. I curse loudly as profound unease swirls in my chest. I push myself forward with urgency.

A shrill noise pounds in my skull, and I drop to the ground, clutching my ears. Debris flies all around me as a bomb hits close to home. Hunkering down, I curl up into a ball and pray I wake from this. Bits of debris hit my body as it lands all over me. After a couple of minutes, I risk a quick peek. The area in front of me has been razed to the ground and a raging fire burns brightly. Blistering heat attacks me, and sweat rolls down my face. Frantic cries and bone-crushing screams lace the air. My throat is dry and coarse, and my voice sounds croaky as I call out for Mel. A hand hooks me from behind. “Where is she?” Gil asks.

“I don’t know. I lost sight of her.”

“Come on,” he says, propelling me forward. We stumble over fallen bodies and broken material that litters the ground ahead of us. We both call out her name continuously but there is no reply. When we reach the medical tent, my heart almost stops in my chest. The stench of death and decay hits me like a bolt of lightning and I throw up.

“Jesus,” I say, dropping to the ground on my butt. “Fuck.”

“Get up, Zane. We need to search for her,” Gil says, tugging me up. Bodies and body parts dot the ground, and I clamp my hand over my mouth at the sight of Gil checking them. Forcing the nausea back down, I follow his lead, gagging as I take in the horrific landscape. My fear for Mel escalates every time I turn over a bloody, burnt face, only dissipating when I identify it’s not her. But the initial sweet relief doesn’t last long.

“Over here!” Gil shouts. Peering up, I spot him frantically waving at me. I drop the body in my hands and run toward him as he lifts up an inert figure. Dear God, please let her be okay. “She’s still alive,” Gil says when I approach. Mel is unconscious in his arms, her head slouched and her body limp. Parts of her clothing are burnt off, and black marks cover her skin like a giant-sized tattoo. It’s hard to tell the extent of her injuries, and my whole body shudders with fright.

“We need to get out of here,” I shout, so Gil can hear me over the noise.

“To the woods. We’ll convene with the others.”

“Let me take her.” Gil slides her to me and I fit her close to my chest. He walks quickly ahead, and I try to keep up. I jump at every gunshot and every explosion, and I worry that my new heart won’t withstand the stress much longer. We are almost at the edge of the camp when the earth explodes around us, sending me flying through the air and hurtling to the ground. I manage to twist around mid-flight and hit the ground on my rear with a thud. A sharp pain whips across my back and I wince out loud. A low moan escapes Mel’s throat though I welcome the sound of it.

“Mel? Are you okay?” It’s a stupid question to ask, but my brain is frazzled. I can hardly hear myself speak, and there’s a loud, irritating buzzing sound in my ears.

She mumbles incoherently. My vision blurs and black spots swim in front of my eyes. My lids clamp shut as I drift in and out of consciousness.

“Get up, Zane. Zane! WAKE UP!”

Forcing my eyes to open, I slide Mel to the side and attempt to stand up. I wobble precariously, feeling off-balance. Pain spreads across my back, but I don’t think anything’s broken. I take a quick minute to focus my vision, and once I can see straight, I bend over and scoop Mel up in my arms. As I turn around, I let out a huge anguished roar.

Gil is immobile and face down on the ground. Placing Mel back on the ground, I dash to his aid. I grip his wrist and wait for the feel of his pulse. It’s faint, but it’s there all the same. There’s no time to feel relief. Malcolm said the rebels had built hidden bunkers. I need to get both of them into the shelter of the woods. I go back for Mel first and stagger the last few yards. As I near, I spot a few figures hovering on the edges of the forest.

“Let me take her,” Isla says, reaching out to me. “Are you hurt?” she asks, surveying me.

“No, I’m fine. But I need to go back for Gil. He’s injured.”

Her face falls. “Jax,” Isla hisses. “I need you.”

A familiar tall figure comes forth. He steps back, startled, when he sees me. The one and only time I met Jax was when we rescued Ari from Stafford Police Station. Jax had been incarcerated alongside her and he’d escaped with us. That was months ago. “No time for pleasantries, Jax,” I say, “Gil needs our help.”

Nodding, he runs alongside me as I head back to where Gil remains on the ground. Together, we lift him up carefully and carry him back toward the woods. Acrid smoke burns my throat and stings my eyes, and we stumble several times in the smoke-filled air. The ringing in my ears is a low drone in the background.

When we reach the woods, four guys carrying a stretcher greet us. We ease Gil onto the stretcher and walk behind them as they lead the way. Jax looks at me as we walk. “I take it Gil is a friend of yours?” I nod, lips drawn tight. My head is cluttered with fear, and I’m like one of those party favors—stuffed full of crap, ready to explode as soon as the lid is popped. “Shit situation, man.” He momentarily flattens a hand on my back.

We walk wordlessly the rest of the way; only the occasional grunt or heavy panting sound from one of the men tasked with carrying Gil shatters the silence. After a couple of miles, we stop and Jax taps four times on the forest floor. My brow furrows as I crane to inspect the ground. Two wooden handles peek out between the muddy earth as the door flies open. Hands extend and Gil is slowly lowered down.

I follow Jax down steep, creaky wooden steps into a basement room. Layers upon layers of matted straw cover the ground, and wooden benches line the full perimeter of the space. Mattresses are strewn side to side at the top of the room, several bodies covering them. I spot Isla instantly. She’s perched on the edge of one of the mattresses, her gaze fixed on an unconscious Mel. I stride toward her, looking over my shoulder at Gil. Jax and a big muscly guy are lifting him onto the only gurney in the room. I quicken my pace.

“How is she?” I ask crouching down alongside Mel.

“Doc had a look at her, says she’ll be fine. Some minor surface burns and a slight concussion but she’ll live.” Isla wipes gently at Mel’s arm, cleaning off the surface grit.

“Thank God. You good to look after her for a few? I need to see how Gil is.” I rise awkwardly, my back remonstrating loudly.

Her head flits wildly around until she spots Gil. “Oh no.”

“We were almost to the edge of the forest when we got waylaid by a bomb. He was much closer to the impact than I was. He’s been unconscious the whole time.” I drop my head into my hands. Isla’s arm wraps around mine and I lift my head. “I’ll come back when I know more.”

Jax introduces me to the doctor. She is cutting what remains of Gil’s clothes from his body to examine the extent of his injuries. I wince as she cuts and peels the blood-soaked material from his legs. Bits of unidentified debris are embedded in his legs and they ooze blood like a leaky tank. I stuff my hand in my mouth and bite down hard. Anything to stem the hysteria building inside me. “He needs to get to a hospital,” she says, looking at me. “He’s losing too much blood. I’ll do what I can to help him, but without proper facilities, there is nothing much I can do. He’ll bleed out in a manner of hours if we don’t hurry.”

“I need to find Commander Skyee,” I tell Jax. He’s the only one who can fix this.

“I’ll go with you.” Jax walks to the table on the far wall and grabs some supplies.

Isla hops up and runs to me. “Be careful,” she says, hugging me.

I nod and shuck out of her embrace. “Look after Mel. I’ll be back for her.”

Jax and I exit the safety of the underground bunker and run through the woods, back toward the noise of the commotion. When we reach the edge, we stop to strategize. “Where would Commander Skyee most likely be?”

“I assume he was at the Command tent when the attack started.”

“Let’s start there,” he says. “But we’ll need to go around the perimeter.” Even though it’s quicker to cut through the middle, it’s far too dangerous. The obvious sounds of attack and counter-attack still resonate all around us, and I know Jax talks sense, but every second counts when Gil’s life is at stake.

“There isn’t enough time. I’m going to take my chances. I won’t think any less of you if you don’t.”

He scans the area in front of us and cusses under his breath. “Let’s push on.” I draw a deep breath and run headfirst into the chaos. We dart forward, jumping over bodies and rubble and dodging potholes and mini-fires that burn all over the place. The cries and pleas for help are much harder to avoid.

I falter when I spot a female soldier sprawled on the ground, cradling an injured man in her arms. Her eyes appeal for help. “We can’t help him,” Jax says firmly, urging me forward. Guilt flies up and smacks me in the mouth. Averting my gaze, I continue running, ignoring the painful churning in my gut.

I daren’t look up. If a bomb is heading our way, I’d much rather be totally oblivious. We reach the spot where the Command tent should be, but it’s been obliterated. Renewed terror claws at my chest. Then I spot a group of soldiers clustered around two large rocket-launchers mounted to the back of two huge trucks. Running toward them, I call out Malcolm’s name.

Powerful relief courses through me when I hear his acknowledging response. Running to him, I quickly explain about Gil and Mel. Malcolm’s face contorts though he says nothing while I speak. Advising me to hold tight, he sprints off to converse with a tall gray-haired man. They are both gesturing wildly with their hands. Eventually, he returns. “Okay, I’ve managed to secure them a spot on the medic truck. But it’s leaving shortly so we need to hurry.

We follow him to a black SUV and hop in. Jax radios ahead and puts in the request, and then he guides Malcolm around the outer edge of the camp. My stomach leaps into my throat as the car weaves a dangerous path toward the woods. Malcolm expertly dodges all the obstacles blocking our way and the occasional shot from above. It’s decidedly hairy at times, but eventually we reach the edge of the forest, and he slams the brakes on.

I spot figures hiding in the shade. Jumping out, I help Jax move Gil and Mel into the back of the vehicle. “Good luck, man,” Jax says, slapping me on the back.

“Tell Isla I said goodbye.”

The vehicle screeches as the tires spin out, and Malcolm steers us back along the path we just came. By some miracle, we make it to the medic truck unscathed. “I need to stay here,” Malcolm says, once Gil and Isla are loaded in the back. “But I’ll see you soon.”

I hug him fiercely. “Be safe.”

The journey back to Saoirse is fraught with danger, but we make it there in one piece. Mel has come around and she writhes in pain at every bump on the road. I hold her on my lap and try to force her to stay still. Gil is still unconscious, and the new bandages the rebel doctor applied are already soaked through. I spend the whole journey making every kind of promise imaginable to God.

Malcolm has gotten word through to Saoirse, and when the Velo arrives at the underwater compound, a team of medics is on standby on the platform. Gil and Mel are taken away immediately and I’m shooed out of the way.

Heading back to my apartment, I quickly shower and change, ignoring the aches and pains that invade my body whenever I make a sudden movement. I grab a quick bite to eat in the cafeteria and then make my way to the Medical Wing.

They won’t let me near Gil or give me any clue to his condition, and I’m on the verge of losing it like never before. The nurse has her finger on her communicator ready to call security when the only voice that can talk me down, rings out loud and clear in my mind.

“Stop, Zane,” Ari says. “You need to calm down.”

The shock of hearing from her is enough to pull me out of my violent rage. I’ve been so preoccupied that I hadn’t realized that I’d let my shields drop. And not for the first time today, I think, as the memory of her silent “slap in the face” rises to the forefront of my mind.

“Gil is going to be okay.”

“Don’t mess with me, Ari.”

“I’m not. I’ve seen it in a vision. He will be okay, as will Mel and my dad. Please calm down. This isn’t good for your heart.”

I slump to the ground and bury my face in my knees. Taking deep breaths, I try to calm myself down. I’m of no use to Gil in this state.

“It’s okay to be upset, Zane.”

“Why did you contact me?”

“Because I sensed you were in trouble. I meant what I said to you in Greece. I haven’t stopped caring, though I’ve been trying to respect your privacy. Everything is going to be okay, Zane. You are one of the strongest people I know.”

I don’t feel very strong in that moment, and my craving for her is at an all-time high. But even if I wanted to act on it, I can’t. And I can’t open myself up to her, for it will only widen the bleeding hole in my heart. “Thanks for letting me know Ari. But I’d like to be on my own now.”

“No problem, Zane. Take care.”

I feel like an empty shell the minute she disconnects. Her shields go up like sliding doors, and I’m bereft all over again.

I manage to snag a couple of hours sleep. Once I wake, I throw on some clothes and hunt Ruby down. We stake out the hospital waiting room together. When Jaden arrives a few hours later, I conveniently fall asleep, stretched out over several chairs. Ruby wakes me when they advise we can see Mel.

Mel is sitting up in the bed, her arms heavily bandaged. One side of her hair has been singed giving her an unintentional edgy look. Patches of raised, red skin dot her face in several places, but apart from that, she assures me she is fine. “Thank you so much for getting me out of there.”

“Don’t thank me,” I say, more harshly than I meant. It’s as if I’ve bathed in a tub of guilt. All I had to do was keep her by my side, and I even failed at that. The door swings open with a slam and Commander Remus storms into the room. He takes one look at me and raises his fist. The punch takes me by surprise and I stagger backward. He stalks toward me as Mel screams at him to stop. He is not going to get away with that again.

Charged with adrenaline, I spring up and shove him with force. Caught unawares, he sways unsteadily and I lunge at him. I reckon I get in three or four good punches before Jaden drags me off him. Mel is crying hysterically and Ruby is open-mouthed.

Commander Remus coughs out blood onto the sterile white-tiled floor as two soldiers bounce into the room. “Detain him,” he says, pointing to me.

“No!” Mel screams. “This is not his fault.” Her look pleads with her dad. “Please, Dad. He hasn’t done anything wrong. This is all my fault.”

I look at her incredulously. How she can come to that conclusion is beyond me. It appears there is no end to the surprises. “Fine,” Commander Remus grits out. “Leave us.” He swats the men away with a backhanded gesture. Jaden releases me and helps his father up. “Explain yourself, Melandra.”

Ruby fists a hand in my shirt and pulls me into the seat beside her. “It was my decision to go with Zane above ground in the first place. He tried to dissuade me, but I’m so fed up being stuck down here doing nothing.” Her dad shoots her a thunderous look and she falters. Clasping her hands in her lap, she continues in a shaky voice. “He took good care of me, Dad.”

Commander Remus snorts and glares at me. “I’d hate to see him neglecting you.”

“Dad. That’s not what I meant. He insisted I stay by his side, but I was the one who ran off into the midst of the battle. I thought I could help save some of those in the medic tent. But I was too late …” Her eyes well up and the mood is grave in the room.

Commander Remus moves alongside the bed. He reaches across Mel and hugs her awkwardly. “It’s okay. There was nothing you could do.” He straightens up and coughs, totally unsure of himself. Jaden gawps at him as if he’s a stranger. Mel’s face shines with happiness. Sweet Jesus. Has she been deprived of so much that such a clumsy hug can bring her so much joy?

“Don’t expect an apology,” he grunts, staring me in the eye. “But it appears I was in the wrong. However, she’s not going anywhere with you again.” He pins me with a look.

“I think that’s up to Mel.”

He glowers at me. “Keep your grabby hands off her! And the same goes for my son’s fiancée.”

“I’m not discussing Ari with you. In fact,” I say, rising, “I can’t stand to be in your presence a minute longer.” Ignoring him, I look only at Mel. “I’ll drop by later when it’s less crowded.” She gulps and nods. I walk out before Commander Remus spontaneously combusts on the spot.

I’m summoned to an Inner Council meeting that evening. Having to suffer Commander Remus twice in one day is almost intolerable. A late attendee arrives just as I’m taking my seat, and I’m relieved to see Malcolm. It appears that Ari’s vision was spot on. Now, all I need to confirm is Gil’s wellbeing. Considering the hospital still won’t tell me anything, I’m glad Malcolm is back. He should be able to throw his weight behind my request. I smile at him and he acknowledges me with a nod of his head.

“Tell us the latest,” Calista says as he sits down.

“We’ve suffered massive casualties. It’s like they crept up on us out of thin air. Our early warning detection signals didn’t respond as they should have so we were like sitting ducks.” He pounds his hands on the table.

“Any idea why?” Calista asks.

“Not a clue.” He scrubs a hand over his stubbly jaw.

“I’ll investigate,” I offer immediately.

Calista nods and turns to face me. “The government has stepped up these targeted attacks and we need to stop them. Our global partners also report similar attacks. If we could take out their monitoring drones, we might stand a chance. As it is, we are being annihilated in the field. As soon as we are signing up new soldier recruits, we are losing as many to these attacks. At this rate it’ll be over before it’s begun.”

“I’ll get one of the team onto it straightaway.”

“There is still opportunity,” Commander Remus says, looking around the table. He purposefully ignores me. “Their fleet must be stretched thin. They can’t watch everyone all of the time. If we can figure out where they are focused, then we can identify the gaps and use that to our advantage.”

Several heads nod and they start discussing options. Calista chooses that moment to dismiss me.

I’ve just stepped into the corridor when Malcolm runs to catch up with me. I fix him with a quizzical gaze. “There’s a surprise waiting for you at your apartment.” He grins. “I’ve got to get back. I’ll drop down after we’re done.”

I run all the way to my apartment, hoping my instinct is right but afraid to acknowledge the feeling in case I’m wrong.

As I round the corner, I stumble. My feet won’t budge, as if the engulfing emotion saturating every cell and nerve ending in my body has affected my ability to walk.

“My darling boy,” Mom says, walking toward me with her arms outstretched.

CHAPTER 13

Mom is like a celestial vision: a radiant being glowing with iridescent light shining from every crevice of her form. Or at least that’s how it seems to me. I blink twice, desperate to confirm she’s real. Snapping out of my trance-like state, I throw myself into her arms. A familiar floral smell wafts around me and I hug her fiercely. After a couple of minutes, she tries to break our embrace, but I cling on even tighter, afraid to let go in case she returns to heaven.

Mom laughs lightly and the sound delves deep into my soul, spreading nurturing warmth. I open my eyes and spot my little brother Eli hovering in the background, except he’s not so little now. The last time I visited my family in New York was just before Clementia was forced to blow up my house to protect me from the government. Eli was still a kid then, not so much anymore. Stepping out of Mom’s embrace, I walk toward my brother and grab him to me. Wow, he’s really stretched up, his shoulders almost level with mine.

Turning around, I arch a brow at Mom, my gaze flitting between the two of them. “What the hell have you been feeding him?” I gesture with my hands. “Has it only been six months?” I don’t say “only” lightly though. Those six months have felt like six years.

“He’s a teenager now. And don’t I know it,” Mom teases. She strides over and grabs both of us into a group hug. “I’m so happy to have both my boys at my side,” Mom says softly, her voice trembling with emotion.

I kiss her forehead and muss Eli’s hair. “You’re still annoying,” Eli mutters, shirking out of the embrace.

I laugh and for the first time in forever, I feel carefree. “I’ve missed you both so much.” My voice breaks and I’m fighting tears. God, man, get a grip!

“We’ve missed you too. Grieved for you,” Mom admits, crying unashamedly. Crunching pain whips through my skull as I contemplate all they’ve had to endure: Thinking I was dead when the truth was that I had gone underground to work for Clementia.

“Oh, God, Mom. I’m so sorry.” I pull her into my arms again, and at this rate, I’d challenge anyone to pry us apart.

“It’s okay, son. Malcolm explained everything to me on the way here. You did what had to be done. And I’m so, so proud of you. Your father would be too.”

I press my forehead to hers. “I’m so glad you’re both here.” Never a truer word was spoken. I don’t think you ever lose that innate unquenchable need for the woman who brought you into the world. I may be pushing twenty, but I still need my Mom as much as ever. Maybe more.

Eli’s stomach growls and we all laugh. “Hungry, little bro?”

Eli scowls and the familiarity drowns me in a pleasant haze of happiness. “Less of the little, geek.”

Eli shoves me and I shove him back. “You’d better play nice if you want me to show you the way to the cafeteria,” I tease.

Mom snorts. “That nose of his would lead him the right way. If there’s food anywhere in the vicinity, trust me, that boy will sniff it out.”

We chat casually as we walk to the cafeteria, Mom’s arm looped through mine. Eli trails alongside us, far too cool to link arms with his dorky older brother and his mom. But I let him off. I’m so pleased they are both here that he could ask me for just about anything at this moment, and I wouldn’t be able to refuse him a damn thing. Mom gasps every time we turn a corner and she spots something new. I’ve grown so accustomed to this underwater home that I don’t see things in the same light anymore. But I do recall how mesmerized I was the first couple of weeks here.

“I’ll bring you up to the observation deck later. The view is spectacular.”

“I’d like that,” Mom says, squeezing my arm.

We sit at a table with Ruby and Jaden, Ben, Deacon, and Lily, and I’m struck by how tight our tight-knit group has become. With Cal, Isla, and Xander out in the field, Ari in Greece, Raina and Riga gone, and Gil and Mel in the hospital, our little group has dwindled considerably. The thought makes me sad.

Mom rushes over to hug Lily and Deacon, and Lily cries for at least five minutes. I know she’s happy to see my mom, but it also reminds her of her own loss. Mom tucks her in under her arm, and I’m so damn pleased that she’s here.

Deacon shunts over beside Eli and they converse awkwardly. There was a time when they were quite close, but now the age gap has formed an invisible line between them. Eli isn’t a kid anymore though he’s not yet an adult. And while Deacon is mature for a ten-year old, he still has that babyish outlook. I hope they can overcome it. It would be nice for both of them to resume their friendship. There aren’t many kids around this place, and I don’t want it to get lonely for either of them.

Ruby asks after Gil and I explain that I still haven’t been permitted to see him. I tell her that Ari contacted me and confirmed that he’d be okay. Mom’s head lifts up at the mention of Ari’s name. She opens her mouth to say something, but I shake my head, mouthing “later.” Mom nods as worry lines crease her brow.

After dinner, Eli goes off with Lily and Deacon to the games room, and Mom and I travel in the elevator to the top floor. Mom gasps loudly as she steps out onto the observation deck. We follow the curve of the window as we walk, Mom pointing out each fish as it swims by. I’d forgotten how much she loved nature, and since she was an avid diver in the past, it’s not surprising that she’s so well informed. We stop at the first bench we come to and take a seat.

“How have you both been?” My foot taps up and down.

“We’ve been fine. Eli was in school and I’ve been working in the textiles factory. It wasn’t much of a life, but we’ve survived.” She looks pensive. “I thought I’d lost you.” The look on her face is an indication of the pain she’s suffered and I’m consumed with guilt.

“I’m sorry for putting you through that.”

“I know you are, sweetie.” She sweeps hair off my forehead. “But none of that matters now. You are alive.” She pinches my cheek. “We are all here together. And according to Malcolm, there’s a strong chance that this revolution will give us back our freedom, and our world. That’s what’s important.”

“I couldn’t have found you at a better time,” I say truthfully, though I’m embarrassed to admit to any weakness. She looks intently at me as if she’s capable of looking inside me and understanding it all.

“What’s going on with you?”

Drawing a large breath, I start to fill her in. I tell her everything that’s happened over the last six months, but I’m deliberately vague on the subject of Ari, only mentioning her when it’s absolutely necessary. She cries when I tell her of my coma and subsequent heart-transplant, and I crush her to me as huge sobs wrack her slim body. Eventually the emotion runs its course and she stares up at me. “I could have lost you for real.” Her eyes well up again.

“But you didn’t. I’m here, and I feel better than I have in ages.” And it’s not really a lie. Physically, I’m in peak condition. It’s only my emotional and mental state that is at an all-time low.

She straightens up. “Tell me about Ari? Is she okay?” Mom always had a real soft spot for my baby, and I know she loved her like a daughter. Though it hurts to relive it all, I tell her everything, not holding back this time.

Mom’s hand clamps over her mouth when she hears of Ari’s engagement and pregnancy. It’s a mirror reaction of Gil’s.

Neither of us speaks for an eternity after I’ve finished talking. I know Mom is trying to wrap her head around it. I also know that talk of Ari leads to memories of Anneka, and I understand how difficult it must be for Mom to accept the loss of one of her dear friends, especially considering the circumstances.

When she finally looks up at me, all I see is love in her eyes. “I’m so sorry, Zane. That this should happen to you, to you both, is indescribable. I thought you two would be together forever.” She strokes my face gently.

“So did I.”

“You’re strong. You’ll get through this.” I appreciate that she accepts the situation and doesn’t try to fill my head with useless false hope. Mom has always been like that: No sugarcoating.

“I’m broken-up deep inside,” I admit, peeking up at her. “She was a huge part of me. Everything always felt so right when we were together. Now, all that’s left of me is who I pretend to be, because without her, I don’t know who I am.”

She clasps my arm. “I know how that feels; right now you can’t contemplate going on without her. But time does heal.” I knew she would understand. In a way, it’s as if Ari has died, because she’s gone from my life and I will never again get to hold her, or tell her that I love her, or see the adoring look in her eyes as she tells me she loves me in return. Suddenly, the enormity of all I’ve lost hits me like a freight train, and I double over, acute pain riding me savagely, gutting my insides and tossing them to the wind. A loud wail rises up my throat, and I bury my head in her shoulder.

Mom holds me through it all, smoothing my hair and whispering comforting words in my ear. When the sobs subside, I feel a sense of release. I needed to get all that off my chest. “You are going to be fine, Zane,” she says. “And I’m here with you now, every step of the way.”

Waking the next morning to the soft sound of Eli’s snores warms me to the core. Sharing living space with my Mom and brother for the first time in years is more than comforting. It feels like home.

After breakfast, Mom goes off to sort out Eli’s enrollment in school. I head to Command Center and speak to Malcolm. He puts in a call to the hospital immediately and I’m granted access to visit Gil. Wincing slightly as I hug Malcolm, I try to hide the extent of my pain. The physical pains and aches only add to the severe emotional pain in my head and heart.

When I arrive at the Medical Wing, I intend on visiting Mel first. But I’m immediately whisked into a room and placed on a medi-scan. I alight thirty minutes later, feeling like a new man.

Mel is propped up in bed, watching the official news channel on the screen. It’s good to see the usual government propaganda shoved aside for Saoirse updates, and the comms team has successfully managed to hijack the airwaves for increasing amounts of time. I hope that the messages are getting through to the people and that they are rallying behind our cause.

Mel commands the screen to shut down as I sit down by her bed. “How are you feeling?” I ask, handing her the fruit and chocolate I swiped from the cafeteria.

Beaming at me, she immediately snaps off a square of chocolate and hands it to me. I pop it in my mouth. “I’m fine. Totally fine. Just waiting to be discharged.”

Her arms and face are devoid of any marks, and if anything, her skin glows more luminous than usual. “You’ve been under the medi-scan?”

“Yep,” she says, popping another chunk of chocolate into her mouth. “Feel brand new.”

“Thank God. You gave me a real scare out there.”

Her face drops and she visibly swallows. “I’m sorry. I didn’t stop to think about anything but trying to save those people.”

Stretching across her, I gently clasp her hand. “I know your motives were pure, but you could have been seriously injured, or worse.”

Her face pales at the thought. “Is Gil okay?” She bites down on her lip and I know that look. I’ve seen it on Ari’s face a million times before.

“I’m on my way to see him now. But he will be fine, and what happened to him isn’t your fault.”

“If I hadn’t ran off—”

I place my finger on her lips to stop her. A blush spreads up her neck and I quickly retract my hand. “You don’t know what would’ve happened if things had played out differently. He could have been killed. For all you know, your actions actually saved his life. Trust me, Mel, you don’t want to go down this road. And I know Gil would never allow you to take responsibility for this.”

“I still feel guilty though.”

God, sometimes she is so like Ari it hurts. “Promise me you’ll let that go.” I pin her with a serious look. I’m not going to sit around and watch another inherently good girl beat herself up over things that were pretty much out of her control.

I walk toward Gil’s room with a fair amount of fear in my heart. I’m stepping into the unknown. The door opens with a loud click. Gil lies on his back on the bed, his eyes wide open staring at the ceiling.

“Hey,” I say, walking to the bed.

His head whips around at the sound of my voice, and he tries to drag himself up. I shove an arm under his back and prop him up against the head support.

“Sup, bro?”

“How you doing?” I reply. Hauling a chair over, I sit down.

“I’m cool. Thanks for getting me out of there.”

“You scared the crap out of me, Gil,” I admit, contemplating how close I came to losing my best friend when I’d only gotten him back.

“Totes emote,” he acknowledges, scrubbing a hand over his chin.

“When will they let you out of here?” I inquire.

“Think I’ll be here for another little while.” He grimaces and turns away.

“What’s going on?”

“They don’t think they can fix my legs, man.” He swallows hard, avoiding my gaze.

The implications of what he’s saying knock all the air out of my lungs. “What?” When his eyes meet mine, potent fear lurks behind his gaze. My head bursts with despair and anger.

The door pops open and a familiar brunette walks into the room. Gosh, Lily gets more and more like Ari every day. Almost as tall as her sister, she shares the same piercing blue eyes, though they’re not as stunning as Ari’s peepers. Of course, I’m probably biased.

“Hi, Zane. How’s our patient today?” she asks in a cheery tone.

“Peachy, sweetheart. Just peachy,” Gil says, all hint of sadness gone from his tone. But his blasé demeanor is just that: A mask to hide behind.

Lily chatters away, oblivious to the tension in the room, busying herself attending to Gil. Excitedly explaining about her medical studies, she has a dreamy look in her eyes. She helps out in the Medical Wing for a couple of hours every day as part of her training.

Before she leaves, I take a gentle ribbing over the fact that I haven’t seen her or Deacon in ages, and I feel huge guilt. I have been avoiding them, along with anything that reminds me of, or keeps me connected to, Ari. But that’s not fair. I was a big part of their family before Ari and I even hooked up as a couple, and I considered Lily and Deacon as much my siblings as Eli is. Grabbing her into a hug, I promise to make time to visit. I suspect Mom will be spending a lot of her time with them anyway, so it’s inevitable in any event.

As soon as she closes the door, the somber mood reappears. “Isn’t there anything they can do?” I ask, shuffling over to the bed.

“Apparently, there are some things that even the medi-scan can’t overcome. My spine was damaged in the explosion, and I’m paralyzed from the waist down.” He stares numbly ahead, emotions impossible to gauge. I try to smother my fear, but Gil knows me too well. “Yeah, this blows, right?”

“Damn, Gil …that’s … I don’t know what to say,” I admit, as I lose the ability to form a coherent sentence.

“Nothing much that can be said, bro. At least I gave my man-bits a good workout while I could.” Trust Gil to find humor in a situation like this. But he forgets that I know him every bit as well as he knows me. If he’s cracking jokes, it’s because he can’t face reality yet.

“Bro, if you were trying to get one over on me, there were easier ways. But hell yeah, your broken legs totally trump my broken heart.”

He snorts and I laugh and then we can’t stop, and we howl with laughter until my stomach aches. Hopping up, I grab him in a bear hug. “It’s going to be all right.” His mask drops for a fleeting second, and I catch a glimpse of the terror he’s trying to keep at bay.

“I’m fucking shitting myself, bro,” he admits.

“We’ll face it together, like we’ve always done.”

Gil slumps back, his hand swiping away tears. It kills me to see him like this, and once again, I find myself seething at the world we live in, a world that increasingly seems like it’s abandoning us.

Random thoughts float through my mind as I make my way to the IT room. Ben updates me the minute I arrive. He still hasn’t been able to locate Micha, and the concrete confirmation that she’s still at large terrifies me. On a positive note, my team has made a significant breakthrough on the project, and we are inching much closer to our end goal.

I promptly update the Inner Council at our five p.m. meeting. “That’s excellent news, Zane. Well done,” Calista says, beaming at me, only just short of punching the air.

“Credit to the team,” I reply. “I’ll pass it on.”

Malcolm updates the Council on the influx of Novo sympathizers. It appears that without the threat of the kill switch hanging over them, more and more of his previous colleagues are joining our ranks. President Calavero’s blatant threats and near daily executions are having the opposite effect. Instead of scaring them off, it’s strengthening their resolve. They’re defecting to our cause in droves. While some of them have fled Novo, others remain there as hidden informants. They’ll prove valuable allies when the time comes to swoop on the Planet.

“The latest government attacks have targeted camps of civilian refugees, and they wiped out the warehouse in Ohio. They are getting bolder,” Calista says, the strain evident in her voice.

“Or they’re deranged,” Malcolm interjects. “That seems like a knee-jerk reaction to me.”

“Perhaps,” Calista says. “What progress have you made on accessing the monitoring drones and military schedules?” she asks me.

“We are making inroads. I expect to have access to the monitoring drone program within the next forty-eight hours. What is your instruction?”

“Can you destroy them?” Her pupils narrow to pinpricks.

“I can activate their self-destroy trigger.”

“Fine,” she says, walking past me. “That’s your directive.”

Over the course of the next week, life settles into a regular pattern. Mom has secured a job as a teacher, and she also helps out with after-school supervision. Breakfast and dinner are a family and friends affair, and I draw comfort from the normalcy of my new daily routine.

It was hard leaving my family apartment to room with Gil, but I can’t leave him to fend for himself. He sinks further and further into depression with every passing day. I expend considerable energy cheering him up and supporting him when the pain of it all becomes too much. Days become more bearable, but the usual thoughts drain me at night, affecting my ability to sleep.

I’ve had no more contact from Ari, and I solder my mental shields, building a thick, impenetrable wall around my head. Applying the same technique to my heart is less successful, though, I’ve reached an important decision. Ironically, Gil’s predicament has forced me to face facts. Life is for living and I’m going to cherish it.

Embracing the situation, I understand that I need to let Ari go. It doesn’t mean that she disappears from my thoughts, or that I stop caring about her, but I accept that she’s no longer mine to obsess over.

It’s late, and I’m working alone in the IT project room when my computer unexpectedly dies and everything blackens. What the hell? My fingers hover over the keypad as a grainy image appears on the screen. Apprehension mounts as the image becomes clearer.

“Mr. Anders,” President Calavero greets me. “I’m glad to have caught you. I have a proposal to present to you.” He’s pulling no punches.

Folding over my arms, I glare at the screen. “There is nothing you can say that I’d possibly want to hear.”

“I beg to differ.” A smug smile appears on his lips. I’m frantically trying to decipher how his team has managed to send this transmission, and how they knew I would be at my desk at this hour. My sense of unease is profound.

“Let’s hear it then.”

“You know,” he says, tapping a long finger against his nose, “I do believe my sister is unhinged.” A tiny kernel of fear starts to creep up my spine. I sit up straighter in my chair. “She knows what your girlfriend did to her son, and I don’t think she’s going to let it go. I’d hate to see any harm come to Ariana.”

The threat hangs unspoken in the air.

“What’s your proposal?”

“I can exert the necessary level of control on Micha and call her off Ariana, provided you switch sides. Return to us here on Novo and I’ll appoint you as Head of our IT Unit. I’ll provide whatever resources you need to continue your work.” He waggles his eyebrows.

“And if I don’t agree?”

“I have no other incentive to keep Micha on a leash,” he says, squinting at the screen. “I do believe she intends to kill the girl.”

“Why would I trust anything that comes out of your mouth?”

“I have no reason to be untruthful, nor any other reason for offering you a lifeline, except that I believe you are very talented and I hate to see good talent wasted.” He picks at an imaginary thread on his jacket sleeve. “We will win this war, Zane. There’s no question about it. Saoirse’s feeble attempts at rebellion are just that. So the question is actually whether you want to live or die? You have forty-eight hours to decide. I’ll leave you to think about it.”

The feed dies and the President fades out instantly. My screen springs back to life.

Pressing my fingers to my temples, I attempt to calm my breathing and steady my heart. One of these days, I’m definitely going to give myself a coronary. Given the intel that Malcolm has already gathered, I know that the President speaks the truth when it comes to Micha’s plans for Ari. That she is unhinged I have no trouble believing either. But what I do have difficulty swallowing is the notion that he can control Micha if I agree to his terms.

How could I trust that he would stay true to his word even if I were prepared to make the biggest sacrifice of all to protect her? And if what he says about the government’s ability to win this war is the truth, then isn’t the end outcome the same anyway? So why would I take the chance?

But if I turn him down and Micha gets to Ari, I will never be able to forgive myself.

Switching off the lights, I walk back to my apartment feeling as if the weight of the world is on my shoulders.

Thoughts of Ari and the President’s proposal are never far from my mind the next day. My brain is a whirlwind of confusion, and I’m going round and round in circles. I don’t know what the hell to do, and I’m terrified of confiding in anyone. The President never said to keep it confidential, though I’m sure it’s implied. I’m scared of speaking out in case word somehow gets through to him. Weary now of the extent of the government’s reach, I’m not altogether assured of the security of my surroundings. Thoughts of secret spies add to my burgeoning sense of unease.

Mel accosts me on my way back from the gym that night, spewing vitriol like there’s no tomorrow. “Jeez, calm down,” I say, planting my hands on her shoulders.

“I’m sick of them wrapping me up in cotton wool,” she seethes.

I stop in front of the elevator and press the button. When the doors glide open, I pull her in with me. “What are you doing?” she asks.

“Let’s go to the observation deck. Help you cool off.” I try to quash my grin but one look at her gnarly features destroys my resolve in a split second.

“Knock that grin off your face or I’ll do it for you,” Mel grits outs, her bad mood sullying her normal good nature.

We plonk down on the ground in front of the window, and I listen while Mel vents. Her dad won’t let her become part of a new team assigned to train raw recruits above ground. The compound here is nearing maximum capacity, so the huge droves of new recruits are being housed in warehouses and temporary military camps in various states. A couple of new units have been created to work as mobile training units. There’s a genuine buzz around the place recently. Now that the monitoring drones are out of action, attacks are fewer on the ground as the government has to adjust to life without their vital eyes and ears. Our numbers are swelling by the day and this feels real, like we can win this. Except the President isn’t worried and his blatantly confident tone last night has definitely unraveled me. Deep concern cloaks my body like a second skin.

“Are you even listening to me?” Mel says, bringing me back to her.

“I am. You’re mad. You are sick of being treated like a kid. You want a piece of the action,” I summarize quickly.

“Don’t make fun of me.” Her lips purse and she fidgets with the collar of her shirt.

“Hey,” I say, reaching out to brush a stray hair off her face. “I’m not being flippant. I understand your frustration.”

“You do?” She tilts her head to the side, her fingers trailing over her bottom lip.

My eyes follow the line of her fingers as if in a trance. Snapping out of it, I jerk my head up. “Of course, I do. I have been listening to you.” We chat most every day, so understanding her motivations and her drivers isn’t difficult for me at all. We’ve had plenty of in-depth discussions. Mel wants to stand up and be counted, to make a difference. What she’s doing here is not fulfilling that need, and she’s practically bursting out of her skin with frustration.

I can totally empathize. It’s how I used to feel when the change first happened and I was forced to work in Ceut and forgo my desire for my IT career. Trying to contain my pent-up frustration was a daily struggle for me. So I get her. “I’ve been in your shoes,” I explain, reaching out subconsciously and removing her finger from her mouth. “That was how I felt when I couldn’t indulge my passion for IT.”

She moves impressively fast. Launching herself forward, she places her lips against mine and kisses me. Though her caress is hesitant, it’s soft and sweet, and her lips move naturally against mine. I respond without thinking, sliding her into my lap and welding my mouth to hers. We continue to kiss, and I don’t feel anything but her until she moves her mouth to the side, kissing me in the sensitive spot just under my ear. Yearning for Ari swamps me with the familiar gesture and I push Mel away. Pressing my knuckles against my forehead, I squeeze my eyes shut. What the hell have I done?

“What did I do wrong?” Mel stammers.

My eyes flicker open at the quiver in her voice. She’s confused and upset. I’ve hurt her feelings. You’re a freaking idiot, I chastise myself. This is exactly why I can’t let anything start with anyone else. Although I’ve accepted the fact that my future isn’t with Ari, I can’t stop loving her overnight. And if I still love her, then how can I let any other woman into my life? I can’t. Because that isn’t fair. And Mel is a sweet girl. She deserves better than this.

“That shouldn’t have happened,” I say. Her lip wobbles and I’m horrified. “I don’t mean that it wasn’t enjoyable,” I admit, trying to lessen the next blow. “But I can’t start anything with you, Mel. I’m not ready to move on yet and honestly? I don’t know that I ever will be. She’s all I’ve ever wanted.” Her lip wobbles precariously, and I cringe at my blatant inability to defuse the situation.

“You really should have thought of that before you kissed me like I was the only girl on Earth!” she yells, her hurt swiftly transforming into anger. It’s okay though, I deserve it. In some ways, it’s easier to deal with.

“You caught me off guard.”

“Oh,” she says, clicking her tongue. “It’s all my fault, is it?”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.” Already this is turning into another emotional mess that I have no capacity to handle.

“Actually, Zane, when it comes to you, I haven’t a frigging clue what is going on in that messed-up head of yours.” She digs her fingernails into her thighs as she glowers at me.

“You don’t understand a fucking thing!” I growl, incensed beyond reason. She flinches and I hate myself. “Look, I’m sorry,” I say, climbing to my feet. “But I can’t do this with you, Mel. Forget that kiss. Forget about me. This means nothing.” I turn and walk away, leaving her with those bitter parting words.

She avoids me as if I’m a cancerous growth the next day. Despite my efforts to seek her out, she continually ignores me. I’m desperate to apologize, but she won’t let me get close enough to her to even say “hi.” I don’t blame her. I was grossly unfair to her, and I can only imagine how confused and hurt she is. I want to make amends, try to put this right, but I can’t do that by myself.

The President’s deadline is looming large, and I’m no closer to reaching a decision. I’m reviewing my options again when Malcolm lands on my doorstep. Taking one look at his face, I shudder in nervous anticipation. “What’s happened?”

His shoulders heave and I think he might break down. “It’s Ari.”

Everything inside me goes still. I stare at him, unsure if I want to hear it.

“We can’t find her. She’s missing.”

PART III - CAL

CHAPTER 14

I accept the call with a huge amount of apprehension and a fairly healthy dose of skepticism. It’s been over two months since I’ve had any involvement with my arch-nemesis, Zane Anders, or the object of our mutual obsession. I’ve no idea why he’s contacting me now. He probably wants to gloat over the fact that he got the girl, relish rubbing my nose in it. A familiar surge of aggression flares inside me, and my fists clench at my sides.

When I first spotted Ariana Skyee on Novo, I thought my biggest challenge would be winning her heart.

But I was wrong.

Holding onto it was the hardest test of all.

And I failed.

Sucking in a sharp breath, I connect to the line. “What do you want?” I snap.

“Have you heard from her?” Zane asks, no pretense of formalities either.

His question throws me off guard. Why would I hear from her? I asked her to make a choice and she did. She turned her back on me without as much as a goodbye. The pain of it still cuts me to the bone. To think that I meant so little to her, that everything she told me was an empty truth. She played me for a right fool. “Why would I hear from her?”

“Stop playing games,” he hisses. “This is serious. Have you heard from her or not?”

The frantic tone in his voice stops me dead in my tracks. A fluttery feeling of dread sweeps through me, and my mouth is sandpaper dry. “I haven’t heard from her since she left for Greece.” There’s a long hesitation on the other end of the line. “What’s going on?”

“She’s missing,” Zane says, almost whispering it.

Anxiety squirms in my chest. “Since when?” My voice is strained.

“No one has seen her in two days. The doctor is missing too.”

“Perhaps they are on their way back to Saoirse HQ,” I suggest. Though Taylor is the world’s biggest flirt, he’s also a super-smart guy. If Ariana is with him, then she must be all right. There’s another telling pause on the line, and I have a real bad feeling about this. “What aren’t you telling me?”

“Micha’s off the grid. We think she’s looking for Ari.”

“Why?” Then I remember something that Calista Corr said to us when we were in Florida. To be honest, I didn’t pay that much attention to it. It seemed a little far-fetched. Micha is just a big-time freak as far as I’m concerned. And I can’t imagine that she’d expend energy looking for one solitary girl who hardly poses any threat to her. But am I wide of the mark?

Zane exhales loudly down the line. “She has a personal agenda, and we have reason to believe she intends to hurt Ari.”

“And you’re not going to explain that to me, are you?” My knuckles bleach white as I fist my hands at my side.

“All that matters is she’s in danger. I’d thought she might be with you.”

Razor-sharp shards of pain puncture my chest at the suggestion that something might have happened to her. I clutch my head in my hands. It’s only then that his other statement registers in my brain. “Why would you think she’d be with me?” More telling silence on the end of the line. “When was the last time you spoke to her?”

“A few weeks ago,” he replies.

That’s odd. “How come?” Even more silence. Seriously, this guy would test the patience of a saint. And I certainly can’t claim to be saintly.

“We’re not together,” he says eventually.

Come again? What? “Since when?”

He makes a wretched sound at the back of his throat as he speaks. “You genuinely don’t know this?”

“Why would I ask if I already knew?” Sarcasm is thick in my tone.

“She has chosen to leave her past in the past,” he says, rather cryptically.

Am I her past too? Has she chosen to forgo both of us? “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I’m not the one who should be explaining this.” He sounds maddeningly calm, and I wish I could stuff my hand through the line and ram it in his face.

“Well, considering you and Malcolm have managed to lose her, I don’t expect she’ll be telling me anything anytime soon!” I roar, nerves and anger getting the better of me.

“This is a waste of time. If she contacts you, will you let me know, please.”

I grunt an acknowledgment and cut the call.

Stomping out of the communications hut, I flounce back to my tent. I’m highly strung and it’s at times like this when I’m tested to my limit. Though the doctors continue to work with me and I take my daily meds, the surge of aggression is so deeply rooted in my psyche that I struggle to maintain control at times of extreme stress. Messing with a person’s DNA does that to you, I suppose.

I’m charging through the camp like a man on a mission. A voice calls out to me but I stride forward, desperate to get within the safe confines of my pod. Collapsing spread-eagled on the bed, I bury a scream in my pillow. The door clicks open and my head jolts up.

“There you are,” Amber says. I nuzzle my pillow again. “What’s wrong?”

“I need a minute to calm down,” I admit, my voice muffled in the pillow.

She waits silently and patiently, and my stupid brain thinks what a good match she’d make for Zane. I snort but it comes out like a strangled laugh. It eases the last of my tension though and I sit up, clutching the pillow to my chest.

“So, are you going to tell me what’s going on now?” she demands, cocking an eyebrow. I resist the urge to flip her off. She’s constantly nagging me, telling me to cop on and take my head out of my ass. I know I’ve been moping but come on … are girls the only ones allowed to feel heartsick? I’ve never felt so forlorn in my entire life.

That I had the girl of my dreams and made a total fucking mess of it is killing me inside.

Wincing internally as I think of those last few days together, I blow air out of my mouth. All the horrible things that were said. The mutual anger and hurt. My inability to say or do the right thing. Every damn word out of my mouth aggravated the situation. But I was hurting so much over the whole situation with Deacon and my dad and the mixed-up shit with Zane that constantly hovered over our relationship, creating dark shadows where there should have been rainbows. I shake my head and try to pull myself out of it. Amber looks at me knowingly, understanding fully that I’ve retreated into that dark place in my head.

Forcing myself to focus, I swallow loudly. “Ariana is missing.” I scratch my head. “No one has seen her for two days, and there’s this crazy psycho bitch out for her blood.”

“Oh no,” Amber says. Fucking understatement of the year. “What are you going to do?”

That’s the million-dollar question now, isn’t it? “I don’t know,” I admit. “I needed to control myself before I could start thinking about that part.” I push my hair back out of my eyes. It’s grown at an abnormal rate these last couple of months, and it’s almost back to the same style I wore when I first met Ariana. We’re supposed to keep our hair buzzed tight but I refuse to cut it. It’s somewhat symbolic: Like, if I return to the way I looked before, then everything will be okay. I snort and Amber pins me with a look.

“What?” I throw up my hands. “I’m thinking.” I pout and she laughs.

She’s been like a breath of fresh air these past couple of months. I don’t think I would’ve survived without her. She refuses to take any of my crap, and I know I’d be wallowing in an even murkier pit of self-loathing if she weren’t there to bust my balls.

All the while my brain is meandering, I’m thinking of solutions.

Irrepressible fear surges through me, coating my insides with acid. If anything happens to Ariana … fuck. “I’m going to find Ariana myself,” I say. Standing up, I chuck the pillow at Amber’s head.

Ducking down super-fast, she manages to avoid eating a mouthful of polyester. I smirk. Her reactions are impressive. “You’re such an ass.” I smirk even wider. “That wasn’t a compliment,” she adds.

I stride out of the pod, Amber hot on my heels. “Quit acting like my shadow.”

“Jerk,” she mutters under her breath.

I look over my shoulder. “I heard that.”

“You were meant to.”

My lips tug up at the corners, but I can’t quite bring myself to laugh—not when Ariana is out there somewhere, her life in possible danger.

Persuading Amber that I’m capable of talking to the CO on my own, I walk alone to the command tent. I spot Commander De Luca’s head the second I step into the tent. “Sir? Can I have a word?”

He motions me over with his fingers. I put in my request immediately. Tipping back in his chair, he frowns. “I’m sorry to hear that. Malcolm must be going out of his mind with worry.” I shoot him an “I’m going out of my mind with worry” look. “I understand,” he says, sitting up straighter, “but I can’t release you this minute. I’ll have to put in a request for a replacement. We lost too many in the last raid, and I can’t afford to be a man down.”

Hell no. I need to go now. There’s no way I can hang around here scratching my balls when Ariana is in danger. I pace up and down, chewing on my fingernail. Commander De Luca stands and places himself in front of me. His firm hands land on my shoulders. “I know you care for her, son. I’ll do everything I can to rush the request through. But until then, you’ll have to stick with it. We have to escort one of the medical teams tomorrow morning, and I need you to form part of the guard detail. I should have some news for you when you return.”

I hop anxiously from foot to foot, chock-a-block full of nervous energy. “Okay. Thank you, sir.” It’s an effort to remain polite. The inner demon inside my head urges me to pick him up and throw him at the nearest hard thing. But I shut that nasty voice out. Commander De Luca is one of the good guys, and I wouldn’t forgive myself if I hurt him for no reason. The man is only doing his job.

Still, they think they can stop me from going after her? They can think again.

“Cal?” he calls out as I reach the door. “You still taking your meds?” There’s no fooling him. I nod. “Try not to worry, son. Ariana knows how to take care of herself.”

As I walk to the communications tent, I acknowledge his words. Ariana can take care of herself, I know that full well, but it provides no reassurance all the same. If Micha is truly gunning for her ass, then she has the full extent of government resources at her disposal. It wouldn’t be that difficult to get a lock on her location. She’s carrying my baby and if anything should happen to either of them, I think I’ll lose my life. I kick the ground in frustration and try to scrub all destructive thoughts from my head.

Ending the secure comm-call with Ben, I push my palms into my forehead and let out an almighty roar. The female soldier in the booth beside me almost jumps out of her skin. Frustration is building to crescendo-level inside me, and I need to hit something or someone. I’m stuck in this damn hellhole until the next Velo is available. Seventy-two hours was Ben’s best guess. How in the hell am I expected to hunker down here for seventy-two frigging hours when the love of my life could be out there in danger? I crack my neck and try to calm my raging hormones.

I load up my plate and scour the food tent for any sign of familiar faces. Amber raises her hand and waves me over. Xander pins me with a concerned look the minute I sit down. Holy shit sticks, she can’t keep her lips closed for five minutes. I scowl at Amber. As usual, she’s having none of my crap. “Lose the sourpuss, Cal,” she says, pointing her fork at me. “We’re your friends. And we’re here to help.”

“What did the CO say?” Xander asks.

“He’ll put in a rush request for a replacement, but until then I’m stuck here.” I shovel food onto my fork and stuff it in my face.

“Man, this sucks,” Captain Obvious says.

“You think?” I glare at him.

My head jerks back and a searing pain cuts across my cheek. Cupping my hand to my face, I drop my fork and hop up, staring her in the face. “What the fuck, Amber?”

“Are you done being a jerk?”

Xander chuckles. Her expression contains considerable challenge, and rage simmers under my skin. Squeezing my eyes shut, I count to ten. When I reopen them, Amber has re-taken her seat. “Do you have a death wish?”

“You wouldn’t hurt me,” she says, scooping up a mouthful of potato.

Her relentless confidence in me is heartwarming, though no less alarming. I turn and face Xander. “Sorry for being such an ass. Lousy day.” It’s hardly an excuse. Most every day is a lousy day, and I usually manage to at least act as if I have some level of acceptable social skills.

“It’s okay, bro. I have my fair share of those.” I silently curse my lack of sensitivity. Xander’s twin brother Riga lost his life when the stealth-craft we were traveling to Florida in was firebombed out of the sky by the government. I know he’s had his darks days. We’ve talked about it enough. Two damaged souls always gravitate toward one another.

“I’m an idiot.” I drag my hands through my hair as Amber smirks.

“Glad you’re finally accepting your shortcomings.”

To hell with social skills. I flip her off. She returns the gesture and I laugh. That she can so graciously forgive me for all the crap I put her through in the past is amazing. She’s a great girl and I’m lucky to count her as a friend. But that’s all she is. And I’ve explained that bluntly to her. I don’t think she has any romantic intentions toward me anyway, but when we had our little heart-to-heart, I felt it best to put it all on the line.

And I’m glad we did. Because I don’t think we’d have the friendship we have now if I hadn’t laid that ghost to rest.

“I heard we suffered another defeat this morning,” Xander says, between mouthfuls.

I nod, recalling Commander De Luca’s words. “It seems the government has stepped up the attacks in the last couple of days. The CO said word from our global allies is that attacks in Europe have eased off considerably. Saoirse thinks Calavero is targeting the United States as their main priority.”

“Damn, that’s given me a right case of the chills,” Xander announces.

“I know. More and more it feels like we’re outnumbered and outmaneuvered. But I spoke to my dad the other day, and the Inner Council has a few things up their sleeves,” I admit quietly, unsure if I’m expected to keep his confidence or not.

“Well, I hope they show their hand soon. We’re losing bodies as fast as we recruit them.” Xander takes a lengthy drink from his cup.

Thrusting my plate away, I rub my hands over my full belly. I’ve been doing that a lot lately, according to Amber. Phantom bonding with my baby, she reckons. I shake my head at her inexperienced attempt at psychoanalysis. Ulcer more like, I told her. Though the bitter churning in my stomach could just be linked to my acidic heart.

I’m lying in bed later that night, fretful as usual. Days burst at the seams with military activity so there’s little time to indulge my depressive inner monologue. But the nights are a different story entirely. All the thoughts I fight so hard to resist assault me when I’m most vulnerable.

Ariana is always at the forefront of my mind, never more so than today. Zane’s revelation has confused me. When she left without saying goodbye, I was stunned into silence. Then Dad explained she’d had no choice and some of the stress had leaked out. Commander Skyee passed on her message: I’m sorry. That was the extent of it and I’ve puzzled over it every day since.

Sorry we’re over? Sorry I chose him over you? Sorry I took your heart and trampled all over it? Or simply I’m sorry that I left like this? My thoughts have swung back and forth as I’ve tried to make sense of it. How powerful two simple words can be.

I’d waited for her to contact me, but the call never came. As days turned into weeks and then into months, I’ve tried to come to terms with the fact that she must have chosen him. That that’s what the message meant. Cursing myself for throwing that stupid ultimatum at her in the heat of an argument, and for telling her it was over, I’ve wondered why I always seem to be at the helm of my own destruction.

Maybe I should’ve tried to contact her, but the way I see it, I’m always the one giving chase. Just this once, I needed her to pursue me.

I needed to know that she does care and what we’ve shared was real; to believe that I’m truly in possession of her love. The longer time passed with no word, the harder it felt for me to make that move. I should’ve contacted her when she first left, but it’s too late now.

Mel has confirmed that Ariana and the baby are okay, and that’s all I’ve wanted to hear. Though both Ben and Mel have tried to broach the subject of Ariana with me on several occasions, I won’t put either of them in the middle.

Even if Ariana has no interest in being with me, I thought she would at least have kept the line of communication open for the baby’s sake.

But she’s made no effort at all and her silence is pretty damning.

If Zane is telling me the truth—and I honestly think he was—then why hasn’t she reached out to me? It can’t be so dangerous that she couldn’t even risk a call?

I’m trying to work out how I feel about this new information. I still love her. There’s no question about that, or that I severely miss her. The gigantic-sized hole in my life attests to that. And I’m curious as fuck about the baby. Is she visibly pregnant now? Is the baby kicking yet? How big are her boobs? I toss that last thought out of my head because I know it makes me sound like a selfish prick. Two months without some bedroom action can do that to a guy. My mind instantly sinks to the gutter, and I groan as images of Ariana float through my mind. Certain parts of my body stiffen, and I turn over onto my stomach, hot and frustrated as hell.

I slam my palms into my face. Focus on priorities, douche.

If Ariana isn’t with Zane, then it means one of two things. One, she has decided she doesn’t want to be with either of us, or two, she wants to be with me. My heart soars at the prospect but then twists into a familiar ball of emotion. Trying to unravel my muddled thoughts is akin to climbing Mount Everest naked in freezing temps with a ten-ton load on my back, a.k.a. pretty frigging nightmarish. Amber has tried to coax me into discussing it, but it feels wrong to talk with her about something so personal and intimate. And I know for a fact that Ariana wouldn’t like me speaking about this with her. Besides, I don’t know how I could explain it to Amber when I can’t fully decipher it myself.

What I do know is that I need Ariana to remind me who I truly am. And that my life means nothing without her.

Whether we can overcome all the hurtful words, the litany of secrets, and the destructive lies, is anyone’s guess, and it’s those thoughts, and concern for her safety, that keep me awake half the night.

CHAPTER 15

I wake the next morning with a dull pounding in my head and a stabbing pain at the back of my eyes. It feels like I’ve slept for about twenty seconds. Staggering out of bed, I peer in the mirror and groan. Bloodshot eyes attest to my sleep-deprived state and I look rough. My thoughts immediately drift to Ariana as I shave. The thought of Micha laying her hands on my sweetheart strikes fear deep into my soul. Terror like no other takes hold of my heart, squeezing it to the point of excruciating pain. If anything has happened to her, I swear, I’ll tear this world apart until I find Micha and rip her ugly heart right out of her chest.

Placing the razor down on the sink, I clutch my temples and close my eyes. Where are you? I call out in my head for the millionth time. My eyes flit wide-open as the thought lodges in my brain. Hang on here a second. Ariana and Zane share an ability to communicate through their minds. So, how can he not know where she is?

Something about this doesn’t add up. Doesn’t add up at all. That douche has been holding out on me! Cursing my naiveté, I splash water on my face and quickly towel it dry. I chuck on my clothes and dash out of the pod, the laces on my boots trailing the ground.

I’m out of breath by the time I reach the communications tent. Standing in line, I attempt to summon some hidden inner patience. After ten anxious minutes, I’m up, and I waste no time connecting to the Saoirse line. “Have you heard from her?” Zane asks, the second he comes on the call.

“No,” I grit out. “I want to know what the fuck you’re playing at.”

“What are you talking about now?”

“How can you not know where she is, when you have the ability to communicate with your minds? What kind of twisted, sick joke is this? I’ve been up most of the night in a blind panic.”

“You’re not the only one losing sleep. I can’t connect to her mind. She’s shutting me out.”

I step back, surprised. My brain mulls it over quickly. “If she’s consciously shutting you out, then how is she missing? Maybe she just doesn’t want you to know where she’s going.” As I articulate the thought, some of the stress diminishes.

“She could be unconscious. I’ve no way of knowing.”

Any sense of minor relief I just felt floats away. Damnit! This could actually be much worse than I’d imagined. “Will you keep trying?”

“I’m checking in every five minutes. If I get through to her, I’ll let you know.”

I disconnect the call and walk back to my pod lost in the hideous thoughts infecting my brain.

I’m seriously struggling to keep my eyes open. The swaying motion of the truck as it chugs forward on bumpy roads is sleep inducing, and my eyes keep flickering shut. The soldier across from me smirks.

Ten seconds later, the smirk is wiped clear off his face.

An earth-shattering explosion rips through the air and the truck careers wildly from side to side. Fully awake now, I grip the bench underneath me and try to stay upright. “Ambush!” the call comes from the front. Shit, not again. This is becoming far too regular an occurrence to be coincidental. If it continues, our revolution will be wiped out before it’s even begun.

My stomach lurches as I’m thrown forcefully back against the side of the truck. I tighten my hold on the bench, ignoring the stinging pain in my knuckles. A loud scraping sound pierces deep in my skull as bodies are flung all over the place. My body jolts backward as the truck topples onto its side and I almost lose my grip. A girl lands facedown on my lap, her head slapping hard against my knee. Her head jerks back and she slithers down behind me, blood oozing from the gash on her forehead. Every instinct implores me to help her, but if I loosen my grip, I’ll fly aimlessly like the rest of them. Forcing the bile back down my throat, I cling on tenaciously.

The truck slides along the pavement for another minute or two and then comes to a halt. Carefully releasing my hands, I let my body fall back and stretch out my legs, crawling over the bench. I search for the girl. She’s still unconscious. Pressing my fingers to the pulse at her wrist, I sigh in relief at the thudding flow of blood in her veins. Steadying my feet on the ground, I lift her up and over my shoulder and scramble out of the truck.

A shrill whistle rings out and my head flits up. A solider stands at the edge of the adjoining woods, beckoning me with his fingers. I run toward him and duck into the cover of the trees. “Is she alive?” I nod. “Place her with that pile,” he says, pointing to a line of five or six bodies on the forest floor.

I move over and gently deposit her on the ground. Swinging around, I notice the second pile of soldiers to the left. Another solider is busy draping a white sheet over the faces of the dead. I shake my head. Only two months in the firing line and I’ve already seen my fill of death.

“Any more alive in the back?” the first soldier asks me.

“I’ll check.” I sling my rifle off my shoulder and pull back the chamber, readying my weapon. I inch slowly out from under the blanket of trees.

I’ve just reached the back of the truck when a shot whizzes over my head, originating from an elevated position on my right. Dropping to the floor, I silently curse. That was way too close. Lifting my head a millimeter, I lock eyes with the Saoirse soldier and pin him with a scathing look. I didn’t think I had to tell him to watch my back. Fucking idiot. He gestures with his hand, and I hop up and jump into the back of the vehicle.

Most of my colleagues are alive, though almost all of them have picked up an injury. We manage to extract them while a bunch of Saoirse soldiers hold the government forces at bay. As I help the last soldier out of the vehicle, I squint at the truck in front. I don’t think they were as lucky. There’s a crater-sized hole in the middle of the vehicle and a fire blazes fiercely out of control.

Out of the forty who left the base today, there are eighteen of us left. The Command Sergeant has radioed for assistance, and we just need to hold them off until our reinforcements arrive. As we hole up in the center of the woods, every pair of eyes scans the forest on all sides. Anxiousness prickles underneath the surface of my skin. No one speaks. Hell, we’re almost afraid to breathe. The government forces are aware that we are hiding in here. For all we know, they’ve already received backup. They could be advancing on us at this very second.

The smell of the forest reminds me of Ariana, and I lose myself in the memory of the first time I saw her jogging the Woodland grid at the Novo running track. Even though I thought I’d the weight of the world on my shoulders back then, it really pales into comparison with the crap of my so-called life now.

A sharp crack focuses my attention. I trade an uneasy look with the soldier beside me as I aim my gun in front of me.

Shots ring out in uniformity, and I unload my weapon, angling my gun in a sweeping motion as I spot government troops advancing through the trees on my left. “Fall back,” the sergeant commands, and I dart around the side of the closest tree and take shelter. Rapid fire is exchanged on both sides, and I spot several of my colleagues face planting the ground as the remainder dive for cover. I trade an apprehensive look with a female soldier across from me at the same moment a bullet lodges in her skull. The lights are out instantly, and her wide-eyed stare pierces my soul as she falls to the ground.

Holy crap, this is bad, real bad. We scramble back further as the soldiers advance, and I face the very real prospect of my imminent death. They are coming at us way too fast. We must be down to ten men by now, and I figure there’s at least double that number advancing on us.

The odds are not looking good.

But there isn’t time to panic. Reloading my weapon, I edge out slightly and take aim. The rifle flies out of my hand as a searing pain shoots up my arm. Blood spills out of the gushing wound in my upper arm. Clenching my teeth, I ignore the pain and lunge at the advancing soldier. If I’m going to die in this moment, I’m not going down without a decent fight.

I knock him to the floor, and he loses hold of his weapon as he thrashes about. Thrusting his head forward, he head-butts me and I stagger back, clutching my pounding skull. Stars swim in front of my eyes as he grips me in a headlock and squeezes. Blood stampedes through my veins, and rage that had been simmering under the surface makes a welcome break for freedom, infusing every cell in my body. Using the full force of my body I lunge forward and then swing back, repeating this several times until he loosens his grip. I rip his arms away from my neck and twist around, throwing him backward.

He lands on his back on the grassy forest floor. Darting aside, I pick up my weapon and jab the butt repeatedly in his face. When his limbs turn to jelly underneath me, I stand up and shoot him in the head. My head whips around at the sound of a shrill female cry. A dark-haired girl is wrestling with a male soldier at least twice her size on the ground. Stalking forward, I fist my hand in his jacket and yank him off her. I pound my fist into his face a couple of times until he crumples in my hold. I drop him as if he’s germ-ridden. Quickly scanning my surroundings, I extend a hand and help the girl to her feet.

Blood pours down my arm but I barely feel a twinge. “Stay here and don’t move,” I instruct.

Her face is pale with fright. “Thank you,” she whispers.

I creep around the other side of the tree to check out the layout of the land. Gunshots ring out behind the government forces and I stop in my tracks, puzzled and confused. Then I notice our backup pinning the enemy in from the other side, and every ounce of breath I’d been holding releases in a thankful rush. The government forces are caught off-guard as they twist around nervously, trying to fend off attack from both directions. Taking aim, I fire until there are no more bullets left in my gun.

Five minutes later and it’s all over. I slump to the ground, weak from blood loss and the aftermath of a mad adrenaline rush. “Oh my God, Cal!” a female voice says, crouching down beside me.

I stare into a familiar pair of blue eyes. “Isla? What are you doing here?” I can barely muster the energy to speak.

“Where are you hurt?”

“Gunshot wound to the arm.” I feebly point with my finger.

She rips the cloth of my shirt up the middle and gasps. “Damn, that’s nasty.” Her lips contort. “Here,” she adds, dropping a small white pill in my hand. “Take that for the pain.”

The cavalry arrives just after that. The medication is already doing a job on my arm, and though it still radiates pain, I help load the injured and the bodies onto the back of the truck.

Isla introduces me to some of her rebel friends as we travel back to the base. We talk in low voices. Isla explains how she managed to escape from Clementia before it was wiped out and that she’s been with a local Connecticut rebel group ever since. “Zane got out too,” I tell her, figuring she’d want to know.

“I know. I’ve seen him.” Her expression is empty. I raise a brow. “He came looking for me.” Okay, so I’m getting that she doesn’t want to talk about it. She turns and faces me. “Why aren’t you with Ariana in Greece?”

My stomach sours. “Long story.” I eye her wearily and she nods in understanding. A tall dude with unkempt blond hair and wide navy blue eyes stares at me funnily. “What’s your problem?”

“You’re Ariana’s fiancé?

I pause briefly before answering. The status of our engagement is up in the air like our entire relationship. I don’t know what I am to her anymore, if I’m anything. But my competitive radar is tingling and I’m not telling this guy that. “Yeah. What’s it to you?”

“Just curious. I thought doll-face was with that other guy.”

Isla pins him with a wide-eyed look and shakes her head. He smirks.

“Doll-face?” I inquire, my intestines twisting in my gut.

“That’s my nickname for her.”

WTF? Who is this guy? And what does Ariana mean to him? I jump out of my seat and put my face in his.

“Whoa, man. Back off,” he says, though he doesn’t even flinch.

Isla tugs me back down. “Jesus, Cal. Will you calm the hell down?” She drags her fingers nervously through her hair. Of course, she understands what’s been done to me, and I’ve probably just scared the shit out of her.

“I didn’t mean to scare you, Isla. But this guy is getting on my nerves.”

“Jax,” Isla says, “Cut the crap, okay?”

“Whatever, sweetness.” He shoots her a flippant look.

“Sweetness?” I’m wondering if my pain meds are affecting my listening skills. Did he really say “sweetness?”

“Yeah, that’s my nickname for the beauty sitting beside you.” He winks at her suggestively.

I peek at Isla and do a double-take. “Are you … blushing?” I clutch her chin and peer at her skin.

“I hate you,” she says through gritted teeth, slapping my hand away.

Jax chuckles and we share a grin, some of the tension easing between us. Though this guy appears to have fallen out of the crazy tree and hit every branch on his way down, it could be fun with him around. “How do you know Ariana?”

“We were cellmates one time,” he says, rather cryptically. “How is she doing?”

“I … she’s missing,” I admit, in an unusual moment of frankness.

“Damn,” Jax says, all the laughter gone from his eyes. “I hope she’s okay.”

“Me too, buddy.”

Back at base, I’m brought to the medic tent to have my wound checked out. Thankfully, the bullet didn’t lodge in my arm so I’m cleaned up and stitched in next to no time. They release me a short while later, my arm encased in a sling. No medi-scans out here so I’ll have to suffer it old-style. The doctor could only give me a low-grade painkiller as he didn’t want to interfere with my other meds, so my arm still throbs but I grit my teeth and take it like a man.

I swing by the Command tent on my way home. Commander De Luca and I get into it straightaway. “This is a goddamned suicide mission!” I holler, anger getting the better of me. “We are getting slaughtered out there! How do they know where we are going to be all the time? I thought we wiped out the monitoring drones?”

“Calm down, Soldier Remus.” The CO pins me with a serious look. “Sit.” He pushes me gently into a chair. “I understand your frustration and I share it. I’ve also posed the same questions to HQ. Something isn’t right,” he admits, after a brief hesitation.

“So what are they going to do about it?” A sharp pain whips up and down my arm and I wince.

His look softens. “Calista has called an emergency meeting to discuss what’s happening out in the field. We sit tight until I receive an update. In the meantime, I suggest you get some rest. You look like you could use it.”

I place a phone call to Dad after I leave the Command tent. But he’s in a meeting and can’t be disturbed. I know Commander De Luca will be pissed if he finds out I’m involving him, but something has to be done to stop this needless blood bath. Pursuing this course of action will be the death of all of us.

There has to be a better way.

I plop down on my bed and moan loudly. Damn, this hurts like a bitch.

Shifting uncomfortably on my uninjured side, I’m desperately trying to get some much-needed shuteye, but as usual, my brain refuses to cooperate. I could’ve died out there today. It was a real close call. All I can think is how Ariana would never have known the truth of my feelings—that I didn’t mean anything I said to her that last time, I love her and our baby, and they both mean the whole world to me.

My decision is made. Irrespective of whether they have a replacement for me or not, I’m leaving tomorrow to find her. I need to know that she’s okay, and sitting around twiddling my thumbs is driving me up the walls.

I give up on the illusion of sleep after a few hours. I’d like to say the rest at least did me some good but I’d be lying. I’m cranky as hell. Wandering down to the food tent, I scarf some grub and head out in search of Amber.

I find her mingling in a largish group that includes Isla and Jax. Spotting me approaching, she strides toward me. “I heard what happened. I wanted to drop by earlier, but I didn’t want to disturb you while you were sleeping.” She places a tentative hand on my uninjured arm. “How are you feeling?”

“Do you want the truth or the social reply?”

Planting her hands on her hips, she pins me with a look that Ariana would be proud of.

“It hurts like hell but I’ll live. Happy?”

“Hardly,” she says, frowning. “You could’ve died out there today.” Deep lines form on her brow.

“Hey,” I say, rubbing her shoulder, “I know but I made it out. Besides, any one of us could die any day out here.”

Her face puckers sourly. “I don’t understand what Saoirse is up to. This strategy is flawed, and I don’t think I can stand by and watch any more of my friends die.” She scrunches her hair in her fists.

“I hear ya. I gave the CO a piece of my mind earlier, and I’ve put in a call to Dad to see if he can do anything. We need to change tack.”

“Cal,” Isla shouts. I peer over Amber’s shoulder. “Come join us.” She wiggles her fingers.

“Come on. I’ve a few people to introduce you to.”

Amber and I sit down beside Jax and Isla on a fallen log in front of the campfire. The nighttime chill has crept up early tonight and I stretch out my palms, soaking up the toasty warmth from the fire. A darkening cloak swaddles the sky as the remains of the day slowly slip away. Faces glow eerily under the flames. If it weren’t for the fact that we’re in the midst of a vicious battle for control of the world, this would be one of my favorite nights. We huddle in small groups around the fire, chatting lowly.

“Zane told me it’s over between him and Ari. Is that true?” Isla asks when we finally have a few moments alone.

“That’s what he told me, but I’ve no way of verifying it. I haven’t heard from her in months.”

She looks at me quizzically. “Things were pretty tense back in Saoirse and we weren’t getting on.” I scrub a hand over my jaw and almost lose my balance. Isla reacts super-fast, placing a hand across my lower back and helping me straighten. “Thanks. I keep forgetting I’m basically one-armed. Never realized how much it would affect my coordination.”

“Does it hurt?”

“Not as much as my heart.” Holy crap! Did I just say that out loud? Totally cheese-tastic. I expect to see a smirk on her face, but her expression is solemn.

“What do you think is going on with them?” She splays her hands on her knees.

“I don’t know. I thought she was with him until a few days ago. And now she’s m—”

“Cal!” a voice calls out somewhere in the distance, interrupting me mid-flow. My head whips up and I strain to see in the darkness. Standing up, I jump over the log and peer in either direction. I can’t make out a damn thing.

“Cal?” she shouts, the sound nearer this time.

“Ariana?” I yell, sprinting in the direction of her voice.

CHAPTER 16

My heart is crashing against my ribcage as I run toward the sound of her voice. Gradually I spot two forms in the distance and hear the sound of running footsteps. I sprint forward, crazy butterflies fluttering to life in my chest. She throws herself at me and I stumble back. In this moment, I don’t care about anything except that she’s here, safe and alive, and back in my arms.

Burying my head in her hair, I soak her up as if I’ve been starved of oxygen. Tears well in my eyes at the smell and feel of her against me. Lithe arms snake around my waist and then she swiftly backs up. “You’re injured!” The sweet sound of her voice does funny things to my insides. “How bad is it?” Her voice raises an octave.

“I’m okay. It’s not as bad as it looks.” Worried eyes meet mine and my heart melts. She tentatively raises a hand to my face and trails her finger across my skin. My hormones flare to life under her touch and I moan softly. God, I’ve missed her so damn much. Silence stretches between us as we stare at each other. We move closer, the pull deepening, drawing us to one another. My eyes seek permission and I see no objection. Without overthinking it, I capture her mouth and kiss her with all the emotion I’ve funneled deep inside these last few months. I’m drowning in her and all my senses are on fire.

She kisses me back with gusto, matching every one of my kisses, and I’m mentally punching the air.

Something curved and solid grazes my abs and I ease back, instantly distracted. Looking down, I gasp. “Oh my God.” My wide eyes flit to her face and the vulnerability and uncertainty in her gaze guts me. “I’ve missed so much. May I?” I ask, my hands raised over her swollen belly.

“Of course,” she whispers.

I place my hands reverentially on her bump. It feels warm and solid underneath my fingertips, and a torrent of emotion lodges at the base of my throat. “Whoa!” I shout, whipping my hands off as a strong movement under her skin startles me. “What was that?”

“The baby moved. He likes your touch.” I can hear the smile in her voice. Clasping my hands, she places them again on her stomach.

My mouth hangs open with the distinct movement under my fingers. Words can’t describe the magnitude of what I’m feeling right now. “It’s amazing.”

“It scared the hell out of me the first time. Thank God T was there to explain everything,” she admits.

“T?” I inquire.

“That’d be me,” a breathless voice says, materializing alongside us. “I think I have a stitch,” Taylor says, bending over and clutching his side. “Do you have rocket launchers on your feet or something? Because I sure as hell can’t figure out how you moved so fast. Bump and all? Impressive.” Groaning, he drops two black backpacks on the ground.

“I had a great incentive,” Ariana says, smiling coyly at me. My lips crack out a mega-watt smile, and I don’t think there’s a happier man anywhere on the planet at this very moment. Yeah, we’ve a ton of crap to work through, but there’s no denying her pleasure at seeing me. If she came all this way, it can only mean one thing.

She wants to be with me.

If my heart had wings, I’d be soaring through the clouds right about now.

Snagging her into my uninjured side, I press my lips against her hair and close my eyes, offering up silent thanks to God for delivering her here to me.

“I need to be alone with you,” I admit. Taylor coughs and I try to quell the surge of irritation flooding my cells. “But we best get Taylor sorted with accommodation first.” I throw a scathing look at him. “Come on, follow me.”

Ariana slides her arm across my lower back as we walk. Taylor trails a little ways behind us. I repeatedly kiss her hair and stroke her cheek, and with each step, I feel lighter and brighter.

When we approach the campfire, several heads look up at once. Jax is on his feet instantly. “Hey, doll-face. I knew we’d meet again.” He smirks, then yanks her out of my arms, and lifts her up in the air. “Sweet Jesus,” he says, eye-level with her midriff. “Either you’re pregnant or someone’s been eating too many cakes.”

She swats him with her hand. “Put me down, you moron.” He plants her back on the ground with remarkable tenderness. “And to answer your question, no, I’m not letting myself go; I’m pregnant.”

“With one or ten babies?” he deadpans, surveying her large bump.

“Funny, ha, ha.”

Ariana gives him one of her special glares and I can’t help chuckling. “Watch your mouth. That’s my baby you’re insulting.”

“You talking about the babe on the inside, or the hot momma glaring at me right now?” Jax says.

“I think you most definitely have a death wish,” Isla says, standing beside him. Amber appears on her other side. A smile flickers over her face. Isla looks over at Ariana, hands fisted in her pockets. “Hi, Ari.”

“Isla?” Ariana looks from her to me to Amber. “Did you all plan a party and forget to invite me?”

Isla gargles something incoherent, and I brace myself for the usual showdown.

“I’m glad you’re okay,” Ariana says sincerely.

“You too,” Isla acknowledges with a tight smile.

I think I must have gone to sleep and woken up in a parallel universe for I never thought I’d see the day when those two saw eye to eye.

“Well, isn’t this swell,” Taylor says from behind.

Moving aside, I motion him forward. Amber and Isla’s eyes widen to stalks as they catch an eyeful of him. There was a time when I’d feel jealous at their obvious admiration of him over me, but I couldn’t give a monkey’s ass now. Seizing the opportunity, I jump right in there. “Girls, would you mind looking after Taylor? Ariana and I need to speak alone.”

“Of course,” Amber says without hesitation.

“No problem,” Isla says, jumping in at the same time. Both girls laugh and then glare at each other. I’d almost like to stick around to see how this one is going to go down. But I’ve far more important business to attend to.

Ariana moves over and hugs Taylor. “Thanks for coming with me. I’ll see you in the morning?”

He envelops her in his arms, his large body swamping hers. Indignation and jealously flare instantly. I can’t abide anyone else touching her but I zip my lips, the snarky retort lolling on my tongue. I’m determined to keep my cool lest my wayward mouth gets me in trouble again. Ariana risked danger and the wrath of her father to visit me. That means everything and I’m not going to mess it up.

We wander in companionable silence to my pod, our fingers entwined. “Make yourself comfortable,” I tell her as we step inside, gesturing to my bed. “Are you hungry? Thirsty?”

She removes her jacket and slinks onto the bed, her loose dress fanning across the covers. Bending over, she attempts to untie her boots but the movement looks uncomfortable as hell. “Here, let me.” I slowly maneuver onto my knees and replace her fingers with mine.

“Cal, it’s fine,” she says, her hand stroking the curve of my jaw. “You’re injured. I can manage. I’m used to everything taking twice as long now that I’ve the coordination of an overgrown hippo.”

“I’m okay,” I say, folding into her caress. “I haven’t been around to help you with anything. Please let me do this.”

She licks her lips and the gesture sends a delicious tingle straight to my lower regions. Crap. I truly have been starved for attention. I unbuckle one boot and then the other and peel her damp socks off. She attempts to wriggle out of my reach, but I hold onto her foot and run my hands up and down her trembling skin. “Your feet are cold.”

“Don’t. They stink,” she admits, her face flaming.

Grabbing a pack of wipes from the side table, I move back over to the bed. Perching on the end, I face her and motion with my hands. Her forehead crinkles as she reluctantly swings her legs up, gingerly placing her feet in my lap.

Slowly and carefully, I wipe her feet and then switch to her legs, running the moist cloth back and forth over her clammy skin. Ariana collapses on the bed, her eyes closed, lips slightly parted. I take the opportunity to slyly study her. Her hair spills around her shoulders, lustrous, thick and long, very long. Tiny freckles dot the tanned skin across her nose and she radiates health. A delicate rosy blush sweeps over her face and she bites down on her lip. Bolting upright, she sucks in a sharp breath, staring at me with a wide-eyed look. It’s only then I notice how far my hand has crept up her legs. Removing my hands from under her dress, I attempt to hide my smile. “Shit, sorry. I was kind of lost looking at you. I didn’t realize what I was doing.”

“Hmm,” she says, lifting a finger to her lips. “A likely story.” Eyes the color of vibrant sapphires sparkle as I melt under the power of her gaze.

I slide up the bed and lie down on my uninjured side, facing her. Mere inches separate us and every part of my body gravitates toward her. Reaching over, I sweep her hair back from her face, and she shivers as a delectable tremor rocks my body. “I guess I should be cross at you for risking so much to come here, but I’m too selfish,” I admit, my hand trailing the finger on her lip. “I have missed you so much.” My voice breaks, laden with unbridled emotion.

She snags my wrist and her finger treks up and down my skin. All the while, her gaze never leaves my face. “I know it was dangerous, but I was fed up waiting for my dad to organize the trip. I knew Taylor wouldn’t let me come to any harm, and we had local guides every step of the way. Plus, Aggie said it would be okay, and I know she wouldn’t have let me leave if she foresaw it would end badly. I couldn’t wait any longer to see you. I hate the way things were left between us.” Her face scrunches up.

“Me, too,” I admit. “I thought you’d chosen him.” I grimace as remembered anguish squeezes my heart.

“I’m so sorry, Cal. I’ve made a total mess out of everything, and all it’s done is torture the three of us. I never meant to hurt you or leave you in the lurch like that. But there wasn’t time to say goodbye or explain.” Her thumb makes soft circles on the inside of my wrist, and I feel the tickle all the way up my arm.

“I know. He told me that much.”

“I wanted to phone you but it was too risky. Apparently, I’m on Micha’s hit list, and Dad insisted that I cut off all contact with the outside world.” Her fingers curl around mine.

“Zane told me Micha’s in the wind and he explained your Dad’s concern. We need to let them know you are okay. They were as worried as I’ve been.”

Her eyes survey my face closely. “I should probably do that now.” She moves to sit up.

“You look exhausted, baby. Let me get word through to them, and you can put in a call in the morning. Stay here. I’ll be back soon.”

As I haul myself up awkwardly, a low moan escapes my mouth as a throbbing pain pummels my upper arm. “Do you have any pain meds?” Ariana asks, sitting up beside me.

“Yeah. I think I should be okay to take a couple more now.” I reach into my pants pocket as she hands me a bottle of water. Throwing the tabs in the back of my mouth, I swallow a large gulp of water. As I hand the bottle back to her, I note the concern etched all over her face. “I’m okay. You’re okay.” My eyes skim over her swollen stomach. “And our baby is okay. All is good.” Pressing my lips to hers, I kiss her softly. The taste of her bathes my senses in a pleasurable warmth.

I’m standing at the door when she calls out to me. “I love you. Be careful.”

I dart over and reel her into my embrace. “God, I love you too. I’ll be quick.”

When I return fifteen minutes later, she is sitting cross-legged on the bed, dressed in peach and lemon patterned sleep shorts and top, surrounded by the messy contents of her backpack.

“Hey, gorgeous.”

She graces me with a sparkling smile. “Did you get a message through to Saoirse?”

“All sorted, don’t worry.” I kiss the top of her head. “What you up to?” I gesticulate with my hand.

“I’m running out of things to fit me. It’s becoming problematic.” Weaving her hands through the pile of clothing, she bunches them up and shoves them back into her bag.

“I have no issue if you need to preserve your meager supplies. Underwear works just fine for me.” I lunge forward and snatch her into my lap, ignoring the blistering pain the movement produces in my arm.

She stifles a laugh. “Quiet your dirty mouth. That’s not helpful. Seriously, what am I going to wear? At this rate, I’ll have nothing that fits within the month.”

She chews anxiously on a fingernail and it’s fucking cute as hell. “Even a black sack would look good on you. I’ll talk to Mel, see if there is anything she can sort out back at HQ.”

A flash of recognition builds behind her eyes, but she quickly schools her mouth into an impressive neutral line. “What?” My eyes bore into hers.

She shakes her head and a familiar surge of frustration wells inside me. She still won’t open up to me. The muscles across my shoulders cord with tension. “So, it’s still like that, is it?” My tone belies the strength of my frustration.

“No,” she admits quietly, twisting in my arms to face me head on. “I’ll tell you, but it will upset you.”

“I’d rather hear it.” I ready myself.

“It’s just that Zane said that very same thing to me once.”

“Oh.” An obvious tension pervades the air at the mention of the elephant in the room.

Easing out of my lap, she faces me, our knees colliding. “I need to tell you something.” She gulps loudly, a look of sheer fright on her face. “I should have told you this the minute I remembered, but I was too afraid. I’m still terrified.” She averts her gaze, her fingers digging into the comforter.

“Hey.” I tilt her chin up with my finger. “You can tell me anything. I doubt it’s worse than what’s transpired already,” I say, thinking of all the shocking truths that have come to light recently. There isn’t much she can say that will top that.

“See,” she says, her eyes blazing with fear, “that’s where you’re wrong. This is the worst truth of all, and once you hear it, you’ll realize that I’m not who you think I am. I’m terrified that you won’t want anything to do with me, and it was that fear that held me back. But being away on my own these last couple of months has given me the breathing space I needed to figure everything out in my head. I want to be with you, Cal. I love you, so much it physically hurts.” She lays her hand against her chest, a pinched look on her face. “And if you still want that with me, then we need a fresh start, a clean slate. Starting with me telling you some things I should’ve told you already.”

Pressing my forehead against hers, I hold her hands in mine. “Ariana.” The word comes out in an awed whisper. “You are my whole world. These last couple of months have been nothing short of torturous because I thought I’d messed everything up for good. All that’s ever mattered to me is you. There is nothing you can say that will make me doubt that. I know who you are,” I say, placing my hand over hers. I stare straight into her eyes. “I love you and all that that entails. But you have to stop shutting me out. Real couples trust each other, share things, and carry the burden between them. I want to be there for you, but you have to let me in. If this is a fresh start, then that has to be the foundation it’s built upon. Because as much as I love you, I don’t think we’ll survive otherwise. I want you and I want our baby, and a future I’d only ever dreamed about is finally within reach. But you have to trust me, babe. Really trust me. Can you do that?”

Tears roll flagrantly down her cheeks, and a myriad of emotions skitter across her face. I can almost see the cogs churning in her brain, and I try to contain my growing nervousness. My knee taps up and down, the movement causing the bed to sway. “I do trust you. The problem is with me, not you.” She clears her throat. “I know I’ve been shutting you out and I’m sorry. Part of the issue was the whole messy situation with Zane. The level of guilt I’ve felt is indescribable. But I’ve thought long and hard about it. I know what I want, and it’s you.”

Squeezing my eyes shut, I press a kiss to her forehead. Sweltering love brims inside me at hearing the words I’ve so desperately craved. “I’ve spoken to him and he understands that I’ve made my decision. Now I need to tell you some stuff so there’s no impediment to us being together. If that’s what you still want,” she says.

“Baby,” I say, cupping her cheek. “Haven’t you been listening? The first time I laid eyes on you, I knew you were the only one for me. I’ll always want you. Whatever you think is so terrible, I’m sure it’s something we can overcome. We’ll just hold onto each other; the two of us against the world.” My entire body shudders with the intensity of my love.

She cracks a mega-watt smile, and my heart feels fit to burst. “I know what we have is real. Let’s not ever forget that.” Her fingers twist in my hair, and we stay locked in a magical moment. Eyes melded together, hearts racing equally fast, so much emotion emanating between us.

A few minutes later, she pulls back. “Okay. Stuff to tell you.” She swallows a nervous laugh. “What I need to say involves Zane. But you can’t get upset because it’s in the past. Alright?” I nod, mentally steeling my heart for imminent assault. “Brace yourself.”

She sits up straighter and draws a deep breath. My eyes probe her face as she searches for the right words. “When I was fourteen, the captain of the basketball team asked me out on a date. I turned him down flat because I was desperately in love with Zane and pinning all my hopes on him someday returning those feelings.”

My stomach sours and I add another steel layer around my heart.

“A month after that,” she continues, “Zane told me he had feelings for me too. We started exclusively dating from that point on, and I was deliriously happy.” I scratch the line of stubble on my jaw and try to ward off the surge of envy and jealousy flooding every cell in my body. “You doing okay?” she asks, placing her hand on mine. I fling her a feeble nod. “I noticed Si … Siva …”

Her voice trembles on his name and ice drips down my spine. She grabs the bottle of water by her knee and drains it. Her hands knot in her lap, and even though she has told me almost nothing at this point, I’m already sensing where she’s going with this. Please, God, no. Let it not be what I’m thinking.

She clears her throat and expels another lungful of air. It’s patently obvious how difficult this is for her. “I noticed Siva glaring my way whenever we crossed paths. Particularly when he spotted Zane and me together. But I ignored him, presuming he’d get over it eventually. Guess I underestimated how much of a reputation-killer it was. Apparently, I was the only one to ever turn him down.” Her face pales as her chest visibly heaves.

I wrap my hands around hers. Moisture rims the edges of her eyes. “Zane and I used to go out running every day in the woods behind my house. Then he was accepted to the Southern Connecticut pre-entry graduate program and his time became a little more precious. He was working on a project and couldn’t run with me this one time. I decided to head out by myself, not thinking anything of it.”

Her whole body shudders and I can taste her fear. “Baby, if this is too much—” I interject but she raises a hand to silence me.

“I need to tell you this. I can’t relax until you know the truth.” A loud sob racks her body and I haul her into my arms.

She nestles into my shoulder, and her whole body feels tense. Lifting her head, she eyeballs me. Her eyes glaze over as she’s lost in the memory. “I heard footsteps running swiftly behind me,” she whispers, closing her eyes. “I thought it was Zane, but my heart almost gave out on the spot when I saw it was him. Siva.”

She shivers uncontrollably and I circle my thumb over the back of her hand. “I pretended like nothing was wrong, even though my senses were firing alarm bells at me left, right, and center. I acknowledged him but kept running. He followed me, yelling to wait up, but I pushed my legs faster. The jeering started then, and I sped up, running as fast as my legs would carry me. He screamed at me to stop, but I just kept on running, my whole body in total panic mode at this stage.”

She pauses and her eyes open, drilling into mine. “He jumped me from behind, and I hit the ground hard. He turned me around, and though my vision was hazy, the look in his face …” Tears pour down her face, and I’m struggling to keep my shit together. “I swear to God, Cal, I don’t think I’ll forget that look for as long as I’ll live. It was wild and manic, animalistic, his face contorted into a sneer. He pinned me down with the length of his body, one hand tugging my hands over my head. I tried to fight him off but I was trapped, I could barely move under his weight. As I felt him pressing against me, he started to describe all the horrific things he was going to do to me.”

She breaks down completely and I enfold her in my arms. She sobs into my shoulder, her whole body trembling. Violent rage swamps me, overpowering all other sensations, and I have to consciously force myself to calm down. “Did he rape you?” I grit out.

She settles back, wiping her sleeve against her nose. I retrieve a paper towel from my shirt pocket and hand it to her. My question hangs ominously in the air, and I pray for patience I know I don’t possess. She blows her nose and straightens. “No,” she says, shaking her head. I almost crumple underneath her. “He didn’t get that far. But he did … other things …” She cries again and the urge to kill rides me hard. My mind starts thinking of ways in which I can track the rat-bastard down.

“All I could think about while I was lying there was that I wanted to die. I was crying and screaming and the whole time trying to fight him off but he just laughed.” She shakes her head, wiping her fingers under her eyes. Sobs continue to tumble forth. “I don’t remember silently calling out to Zane, but he told me after that I did. Turns out, he was already on his way to my house so he got there before Siva could take it all the way. I heard Zane telling me he was coming and I fought harder. Then Siva was yanked off me and Zane knocked him out.”

She releases my hands and wraps her arms around her body. “We thought he was unconscious,” she whispers. The sheer vulnerability in her gaze almost destroys me. “Zane was helping me up when Siva swooped in from behind. He grabbed Zane and flung him back on the path. Then his fists were all over him, and I was screaming as Zane’s head jerked with each punch. The only thought going through my mind was that he was going to kill him and then come back to finish me. I knew I had to do something. My eyes flew to a rock on the ground, and without thinking, I picked it up and whacked him over the head with it. He slumped forward immediately, pinning Zane under his weight. Somehow I managed to drag Zane out from underneath him, but he was unconscious, his face beaten to a pulp, blood oozing everywhere.” She scrubs her palms over her face. “I think I chewed my fingernails to the bone pacing back and forth, wondering what the hell to do. I’d just decided to run for Dad when Zane came to.”

She pauses, her eyes scanning the room. “I need more water.” Her voice is hoarse. I swipe a bottle out from under my bed and hand it to her. She glugs loudly, and when her eyes swing back to mine, they are heavy under the burden of her confession.

“It was only then I noticed the pool of blood spreading out from Siva’s head. Zane checked for a pulse and shook his head.”

She gets up slowly and starts pacing in the tiny space. I stare at her, horror-struck. I lock my hands behind my head. Fuck. No wonder she was terrified of telling me this. “So, what did you do?” I try to keep the shock out of my voice.

“Zane wanted to get Dad and turn ourselves in. He said it was self-defense and we both had the marks to prove it.” A bitter taste swamps my mouth, and I don’t want to think about the marks he left on my baby. “But I wouldn’t let him. The scandal would’ve ended my dad’s career and Zane probably would’ve been kicked off the University IT program. It meant the world to him, and I wouldn’t let him throw it all away because of me.”

I stand up and force her to stop wearing a line in the ground. Gently placing my hands on her shoulders, I stare into her eyes. “Sweetheart, none of that was your fault. You did what you had to do to keep yourself and Zane alive. And that bastard,” I spit out the word, “deserved to die.”

She sways against me, and my arms snake around her waist. “What did you do with his body?”

“We buried him in the woods.” Her response is muffled in my shirt.

“Did anyone ever find out?” She peers up at me, her features now strangely devoid of emotion, exhausted from reliving the whole horrendous affair.

“Not that I realized at the time.” She swipes a hand over her hair.

“What do you mean?” I frown, her meaning unclear.

“Micha somehow found out during my memory erase. You remember that wedding photo we found?”

I dredge up the memory and instantly recall the photo. Micha, Zolt, and a little boy with a scowl in a navy blue suit. Blood freezes in my veins. “No!”

She nods. “I don’t have any concrete proof except for what I know in here,” she says, landing a hand on her heart. “Siva was her child and now she knows what happened to him. That I killed him. She’s out for revenge.”

“Shit,” I say, dragging a hand through my hair.

“She wants me dead, Cal.”

CHAPTER 17

Ariana insists she has more to tell me, but I quiet her with a kiss. That’s more than enough for one night. She is practically dead on her feet, so I tell her the rest can wait until morning and force her into bed alongside me.

Mercifully, she falls asleep quite quickly, the lengthy journey and her confession sapping her energy. Despite my throbbing arm and the painful ache in my head and my heart, sleep continues to evade me. I can’t stop going over what she’s told me and the anguish intensifies with every remembered word. That she had to suffer such a beastly assault when she was still so young is beyond horrific. My heart swells with sorrow and grief. I don’t understand why she felt I would think less of her upon hearing the story. If anything, it has enhanced my belief in her. She’s even stronger than I’d thought.

And she was right to take the action she took. If she’d come forward, it would have ruined things for her dad and Zane. Good riddance. Except, the chain of events back then set her on a course for the future. Now that I fully understand the threat that Micha poses, I’m furious that Ariana took such a risk in coming to see me. Who knows if Micha is trailing her and what harm she could’ve come to? I don’t care what anyone says to me now. I’m plastering myself to her side, and if she needs to return to Greece, then it’ll be with me. No one or nothing is separating us again.

For the first time ever, I genuinely feel sympathy for Zane. And heartfelt gratitude. Who knows what might’ve happened if he hadn’t shown up that day? He saved her and I’ll be forever in his debt. Now that I know this, I can understand his position more clearly. Still doesn’t mean that I like the guy. But I feel for him. Honestly, I do. He has loved and protected her for far longer than me. Sharing a secret like that? Wow. That blows the mind. I can’t even begin to imagine how difficult that must’ve been. And then for him to have to watch as she was taken away, her memory of him erased, and to find out that she was in love with another guy.

I finally get it.

Still doesn’t change a thing, but perhaps I can find more compassion in my heart for him now. He’s lost everything he cares about, and I know how that feels because it’s what I believed the last couple of months. To say it sucked doesn’t even come close to calling it.

There’s still a part of me, though, that doubts the strength of her feelings for me. Hell, if they’ve experienced something like that, how do you ever walk away from it? Or maybe that’s the point: She has to in order to move on.

My troubled thoughts weigh heavy on my brain, but eventually I drift into a disturbed sleep.

When I open my eyes the next morning, worried blue eyes peer intently into mine. “You okay?” I mutter, my voice dripping with sleep.

“Yeah. You?”

“I’m fine. Stop worrying about me.”

She props up on an elbow, her other hand massaging her stomach. “Do you hate me now?”

Mirroring her position—minus the stomach rubbing—I edge in closer. “Of course, I don’t. I could never hate you. What you told me last night was one of the bravest things I’ve ever heard.”

She looks incredulous and her hand stalls on her belly. “I killed someone, Cal. I’m a murderer.” Her lip wobbles.

“Don’t say that. You acted in self-defense, that’s not murder. You did what you had to, and for the record, I fully condone your actions. If it had been me, I would’ve buried the fuckers’ body too and not said a word.”

She touches my arm and a tingle of electricity feathers along my skin. “You really mean that? You don’t think I’m a bad person?”

I lie back down and pull her against my chest. “You’re good through and through. You couldn’t be bad even if you tried.”

A muffled sob rises up from her chest. Peering up at me through a long fan of inky-black lashes, she stares at me awestruck. The egotistical side of me, the side that I try to keep buried, rears its ugly head.

“There’s still something else I need to tell you,” she admits, just as a loud rumble from my stomach signals it’s time for breakfast.

“Let’s eat first. You must be starving too, especially now you’re eating for two.”

She bites down on her lip, her look hesitant. “Okay, but I desperately need to shower first.”

I grimace. “I don’t think you’ll enjoy the communal showering facilities.” I remember her aversion to nakedness all too well. With a pang, I realize I now have a stronger appreciation of why.

“I know a place you can bathe privately, but it’ll take us an hour to get there. Do you think you could manage that?”

She pins me with a look I’ve come to know quite well. “I’m pregnant, not incapacitated,” she says, nudging my ribs with her elbow. Her touch is softer than usual. “That sounds interesting. Let’s do that after breakfast.”

New instructions have yet to be issued by Saoirse HQ so there are no plans for today, Commander De Luca informs me, readily approving my trip to the lake with Ariana. He insists I take a comm-clip and suggests I take a couple of the others in case we run into any trouble. Obliging easily on the first count, I’m knocking the second on the head. Having been deprived of her sweeter-than-sugar presence in my life these last couple of months, I’m not allowing anyone else to tag along today. I desperately need to spend time alone with her. Anyway, we’re both proficient with weapons, and we know how to take care of ourselves.

I’ve loaded my backpack with drinks, snacks, and weapons, and I’m just waiting for Ariana to come back from the bathroom. Seizing the opportunity to have a quick chat with Taylor, I head out in search of him.

I catch him as he’s coming out of the food tent. “Sup, man?” he says in greeting, clapping me on the back.

“I was hoping to talk to you about the baby.”

We’ve reached the front of the medic tent, and Taylor strolls in as if he owns the place. Rolling my eyes, I follow his lead. His reputation must precede him if the amount of high-fives and knuckle touches he garners are any judge. He grins and winks at me but I push my irritation aside. We take two empty chairs off to the side and sit down. “Shoot,” he says, slouching back in the chair.

“Well, um. Is everything going according to plan? Um. I mean, is Ariana okay and the baby okay?” He chuckles loudly and my fist yearns to punch his smug face. My nervous stuttering is embarrassing, but how the hell do I know what to ask? He’s the doctor for crying out loud.

My fists start to flex and he coughs, straightening up. “Sorry. It’s just so cute. The two of you.” I shoot a glacial look his way.

“Look,” he says, leaning in conspiratorially, talking in a hushed voice. “Everything is fine so you have nothing to worry about.” I release the breath I didn’t know I’d been holding. “But there is something I’m curious about.” I arch a brow. “Is there any history of twins in your family?”

I dart forward, my face almost nose to nose with his. “Why do you want to know that?” I hiss.

He shoves a hand through his hair and curses low under his breath. “I haven’t shared my suspicions with Ariana, because I didn’t want to worry her. But I think she might be carrying twins.”

I slump in my chair, mouth agape, eyes on stilts. Holy shit-balls for dinner. Twins? Two babies? That’s knocked the wind out of my sails. I watch him suspiciously, wondering if he’s joking, but his expression says he’s deadly serious. “Are you for real?”

He nods, but adds in a low whisper, “I haven’t been able to confirm it. I need to scan her when she’s back in Saoirse. Usually it runs in families or …”

“Or what?”

“Or where there’s been intervention.” He rocks back in his chair.

“You mean, it could be a result of the hormone treatment she endured on Novo?”

“Yep. Will you tell her?” he says, scratching his stubbly chin. Looks like I’m not the only one in need of a shave.

“Yeah. We don’t keep secrets from one another.”

Not anymore.

“Thanks for being honest with me, and for looking after her. I appreciate it.”

His two brows raise in surprise.

“What?”

“I didn’t take you for a fan.”

“I’m not.” He smirks and I smirk back. “But that doesn’t mean I’m ungrateful for all you’ve done for her. The two … three,” I quickly correct myself, “of them mean the world to me.” Man, this is so weird. I stand up.

“I can tell. Unless the level of possessiveness you demonstrate around her is normal for you?” He rises in his seat.

“Don’t push it, T.” There’s a challenge in my glare. “You should know, I intend on coming back to Greece with you, if that’s her plan.”

“Not in the least bit surprised to hear that, and if she were my girl, I’d do the same thing. You won’t get any grief from me. I’ve grown close to Ariana and …” My mouth contorts into a snarl of its own accord, and he backs away from me, hands raised in surrender. “Not in that way, man. Seriously, you need to chill out. She’s a cool girl and we’ve had fun, but there’s never been anything more than friendship between us so you can tone down the caveman act.”

“Hhmph.” I mentally count to ten and scrunch my shoulders against my neck. “Later, T.” I need to walk away before I do give in to my inner caveman and lob one on his mouth.

I’m still shaking my head in frustration when I get back to the tent. That guy majorly rubs me the wrong way, but I’m going to have to find a way of tolerating him. It’s either that or find a way to shut him up.

“Ew,” Ariana says, stepping into the tent a nanosecond later. “You weren’t wrong about the communal facilities. I’d rather be bursting and grubby than go in there again.” Her nose wrinkles in disdain and I chuckle. “Did you manage to find some towels?”

“I did,” she says, thrusting them at me. “Come on, let’s get out of here. I feel like something icky is crawling all over my skin.” She shivers.

“Put that in your jacket pocket,” I say, handing her a gun. “We don’t want to be caught out again if we run into trouble.” I’m thinking of the two times back in Clementia when we ran headfirst into a butt load of trouble and neither of us had had the good sense to bring a weapon. That’s not a mistake I’ll be repeating any time soon.

It takes at least ten minutes to navigate out of the base. Once we reach the trees, I clasp her hand and lead the way into the forest. The sun peeks through the branches like a sneaky thief, creeping up on us unexpectedly, the warmth seeping deep into my bones. “I miss the sun,” Ariana says, removing her jacket and stuffing it in her bag. “Not the humidity though,” she adds. “It’s so hot in Greece.”

“I’ve never been. What’s it like?” I watch her as we tread carefully through the woods.

“It’s really quaint and pretty and the people are so nice. It’s very quiet there, like a different world altogether.” Tilting her head back, she soaks up the Vitamin D as a ray of sunlight dances off her face. Stopping, she closes her eyes and extends her bare arms to the side, as if readying herself for flight. I stare at her; utterly mesmerized. She’s wearing a floral patterned knee-length summer dress above her sturdy black boots. It’s a strange combination, but one that works no less. Her skin sparkles and glitters under the full beam of the sun, and she looks ethereal and so beautiful. As quickly as it appeared, the sun retreats, taking all the warmth and the light. Ariana drops her arms and open her eyes. She watches me staring, and cocks her head to the side. “What?” She sweeps her hands through her hair self-consciously.

“My baby momma’s so beautiful. I can’t take my eyes off her.”

A familiar crimson stain darkens her cheeks as she steps toward me. Dipping down, I claim her mouth, my lips sweeping over hers in brisk, soft motions. A small moan escapes her throat, and it’s like a one-way ticket straight to my hormones. Every part of me feels it in the most intense way, and I haul her up to my chest, wrapping my arms around her as I envelop her in eau de Cal. She kisses me back with an equal passion, and my hands are everywhere, fondling her wherever I can feel skin. My body sizzles with powerful need, and I push her back against the nearest tree, compelling my body inward, taking care not to exert pressure on her stomach. I want her so badly right now, but there’s no way I’m disrespecting her by getting all jiggy out here. So, I dig deep and find some much-needed restraint from somewhere.

Pulling back, I grin as my chest struggles to calibrate. Gradually, my breathing returns to normal. We haven’t taken our eyes off each other, and the way her eyes sparkle with fire tells me she wants this as much as I do. I tug her toward me gently and force her head to my chest. My hand lies on her lower back. “You have no idea the things you do to me,” I all but growl.

“Actually,” she says, lifting her head to look up at me. “I think I do. It’s the exact same way I feel about you.”

I can’t help but kiss her again after that statement and it quickly escalates. This time she breaks the connection. “I think we should keep going or we’ll end up doing something we regret right here in the middle of the forest.”

She stretches her arm out and I take her offered hand. “And you think I’ve a dirty mind?” I give her one of my old-style-it-never-fails-to-work Mr. Charming looks and she convulses with laughter. Ouch, my ego felt that.

“Jeez, Cal. Did that actually work on girls?” She can barely get the sentence out for laughing. Doubled over, she gently clutches her stomach. I have to keep a firm hold on her arm as we walk to stop her tripping over.

“Like a charm,” I admit, smirking as an abundance of memories flit through my mind. That look was my signature, and damn, it never failed to impress the ladies. It worked like a treat every time. But Ariana has always been different. It’s one of the main reasons why I love her so much. I know she sees beyond all that fake charisma, cheesy charm, and my good looks.

She sees the real me.

And she still loves me.

Mind and heart blown.

“Doesn’t say much for the company you used to keep!” She giggles.

“Hhm. I’m not sure I can argue against that. Except for Amber.” Her good humor evaporates on the spot. “Hey,” I say, clasping her arm. “She’s my past. You’re my only future.”

“I know it’s silly to feel jealous when you’ve given me no reason to, but I can’t help it. I’d totally blame my pregnancy hormones but I think it’s all me.” She brings my hand to her lips and kisses it. A shudder works its way through my entire system, and I marvel at her ability to affect me with the slightest touch. That’s how I know this is right, that we’re meant for each other.

“You have nothing to be jealous of. Amber’s great, but you’re the only one I want, now and forever.”

Rising on her tiptoes, she kisses me softly. “Ditto.”

“What? You think Amber’s a great girl too?”

She shoves me playfully in the ribs, careful not to hit my strapped-up arm. “Funny. I am curious though. What was the story with you two?”

We step out of the woods and I stop, quickly scanning the field in front of us. This will be the most precarious part of journey. If our enemy is anywhere in the vicinity, we’ll be easy pickings out in the open.

Ariana is clearly keeping pace with my thoughts. “Race you to the other side?”

“Are you sure it’s okay for you …” Cocking her hips to the side, she glares at me, daring me to finish the sentence. “Never mind.” I totally chicken out. “Last one to the other side has to bathe naked!”

I’ve never seen a pregnant girl run so fast in all my life. Okay, I’ve never seen a pregnant girl run at all before this moment, but that’s beside the point. It’s the funniest thing I’ve ever seen, and I stumble as the humor of the situation gets the better of me. Not very safety conscious but there’s damn little I can do to control my laughter.

She beats me easily and hollers for me to catch up. Ordering myself to get a grip, I straighten and run to her side. She slaps me upside the head and I stagger back. “Oh my God, what was that for?” I say, rubbing the side of my face.

“For poking fun at me. You just wait ‘til I tell the guys that a pregnant girl beat you in an easy race. Let’s see who is laughing then, mister.”

“Baby, I’m sorry. But that was one of the funniest things I think I’ve ever seen. You were like Old Mother Goose on speed.” She wallops me in my uninjured arm and then breaks out in a fit of laughter. Every time she looks at me, I laugh again, and that prompts her to break down in another fit of giggles. We’re only short of rolling around in the grass. Actually, my overactive, clearly starved hormones think, that isn’t such a bad idea at all.

The last of my tension seeps out of my shoulders, lifting skyward and floating away. We manage to compose ourselves and continue on our way.

“It feels so good to laugh,” she says, looping her arm through mine.

“Damn right. We needed that. It’s not too much longer now, just over that hill there.” I gesture with my bandaged arm.

“Cool.” She looks over at me. “You were going to tell me about Amber.”

I was kind of hoping she’d forgotten about that. Oh well, might as well tell her. I think she knows enough of my past to realize I haven’t ever been a saint. “We went out for about ten months when we were fourteen. She was a total sweetheart, and I was a complete jerk, always flirting with other girls and letting her down at the last minute. I never cheated though,” I admit, pinning her with an earnest look. “You know how I feel about that.” A muscle cords in her jaw and she gulps. “I dumped her unceremoniously and broke her heart. I was a real callous bastard, never gave any consideration to her feelings. Yet she refused to blame me, and she was always polite and sweet when we ran into each other. When she turned up in Saorise, I was actually rather embarrassed. That’s a part of myself that I don’t want to be reminded of.”

I swing our arms together playfully—a deliberate ploy to keep my torrent of emotions under control—and Ariana looks at me as if I’ve just turned into Mary Poppins or something. “I’ve apologized to her and it was good to get the opportunity to do that. She’s a really nice girl. I think you and her could be great friends.”

“I’m not sure I have the graciousness for that, but she does seem genuine. She told me you’ve changed.” Her look is contemplative.

“When was that?”

“Back in Saoirse. She tracked me down, worried in case she was causing any issues between us. I wasn’t very nice to her. I should apologize before I leave.”

“I’m sure she’d appreciate that. She’s been busting my balls since we got here, and if she even thinks I’m sinking into depression, she chews me out of it. I don’t know what I would’ve done without her and Xander.”

We are halfway over the small hill, and I can tell Ariana is struggling as her face is the color of a squished strawberry. I place my arm across her lower back and help propel her forward. I expect a lecture on how she doesn’t need my help, but she must be majorly feeling it because she takes the support without question or argument.

She slumps down on the hill when we crest the peak. “I need a minute,” she says, her voice breathless as she reaches into her bag.

“No problem, baby.” I drop down beside her, stretching out my legs.

“Wow,” she says, in between mouthfuls of water. “What a view.”

My eyes sweep the landscape in front of us and I have to agree. The small lake is bordered on three sides by a downy meadow littered with tiny white, pink, and purple flowers. A jagged rock-front juts out where the lake starts, the slate wall angled irregularly, tiny crevices visible in all the places where rivulets of water trickle down onto a raised ledge before tumbling into the water below. The full glare of the sun beats down in waves of illuminating light, and the rock glistens and glitters, casting contrasting shades of light and darkness against the cool surface of the water.

Ariana hands the bottle to me and pulls herself up. “My whole body aches for that lake,” she admits, rubbing her lower spine.

I drain the bottle and flip it into my backpack. “Come on then. Let’s not waste another minute.”

She helps me up and we walk carefully down the hill, the uncoordinated helping the uncoordinated. Ariana kicks off her boots when we reach the meadow and walks barefoot in the grass. I take a moment to admire her, salivating at her alluring form. She is gorgeous beyond comparison, and I know without a shadow of a doubt that there will never be any other woman for me.

She arrives at the water’s edge first. I’ve spent too long ogling certain parts of her anatomy to notice that I’ve been walking at a snail’s pace. I dart forward and reach her side. Toeing off my boots, I unbutton my pants and wiggle them down my legs. She lifts her dress at the hem and tugs it over her head. I stare open-mouthed at the sight of her in her white and pink patterned bra and panties. But it’s the size of her extended belly that draws my eyes the most. And that’s saying a lot, because her boobs—which were always a very decent handful—are now the size of overripe melons.

“Holy fuck.” The words are out of my mouth before I can stop myself. Immediately, she wraps her arms around herself self-consciously.

“Baby, don’t.” I snag her wrist and pry her fingers away. “You’re gorgeous.” Finally dragging my gaze away from her body, I look into her eyes, noting the usual flushed skin. “You never have to hide from me. You are stunning, inside and out.”

She scans my face and smiles. “Here,” she says, taking my hands and placing them on her naked belly. “He’s moving. Can you feel?”

There’s a slithering movement under my hands, and once again, I’m blown away by the sheer power of the moment. Then something jumps in her stomach, the skin expanding outward, and my eyes almost fly out of my head. “What the hell?”

She grins. “I know it’s freaky, right? T thinks he’s going to be a soccer player because he’s always thrusting his foot up. If you catch it in time, you can actually hold onto it.”

Potent emotion, the like of which I have never felt before, courses through my body, and a huge sob breaks through my composure. Her face drops but I draw her to me and hold on tight. “I’m happy,” I croak, in case she thinks it’s the opposite. “So damn happy, because this is the embodiment of all my dreams. I love you. I love our babies. This is perfect, so completely perfect.” Tears glide silently down my face but I don’t care. I’m down with my feminine side.

She stiffens in my embrace and I tell myself to cop the hell on. I’m obviously totally freaking her out. Wiping my sleeve across my face, I tilt her chin up. “Sorry if I scared you. I’m just completely overwhelmed.”

“You said babies, Cal. Not baby. Babies.” Her eyes have that doe-in-a-headlights look about them.

“Crap. I shouldn’t have let that slip out like that. I was going to tell you. I spoke to Taylor this morning and he shared his suspicions with me. He thinks you’re having twins.”

A hand clamps across her mouth and she plonks down on the grass. I lower myself down beside her, my arm draping over her shoulder. She looks at me, then down at her bump, then back up at me. Splaying her fingers over her bare belly, she works her skin in circular motions, a dazed look in her eyes. “It’s a lot to take in.”

“It is,” she whispers. “Jeez.” She lies back down on the grass, and I angle my body alongside her. We look a right pair—she in her underwear with me half-naked, my upper body encased in a sling. “I had only just gotten used to the idea of one.” Twisting her head, she stares at me and then busts out laughing. “At least they’ll have a ready-made playmate,” she jokes and I feel my whole body collapse in relief.

“He still has to confirm it so he could be wrong.” My hand traces idly on her stomach and her eyes flutter shut.

“I don’t think he is. I’ve wondered why I got so big so fast.” Her eyes flash open and she sits bolt upright. “Ohmigod, it is two babies! That’s what Aggie meant!”

“Deets, please. Who is Aggie?” I prop up on one elbow, my hand still attached to her stomach.

“She’s Raina’s yaya … um, grandma, the lady I’m training with in Greece. She is such a sweet lady, and I’m learning so much from her, but she talks in riddles a lot of the time, and I often don’t have a clue what she means. Before I left, she told me ‘the purest joy arises from unexpected abundance,’ and I honestly thought she’d lost all control of her faculties.”

“I look forward to meeting her,” I say, dipping down and kissing her bump. Ariana jolts and I smile smugly to myself.

“What do you mean?” She peers at me quizzically.

“I assume you intend to return to Greece?” I start unbuttoning my shirt.

“Yes. I still haven’t mastered control of my visions.” Her eyes latch onto my hands like a hawk.

“That settles it then. I’m coming back with you.”

She drags her gaze slowly to my face. I’m expecting her to launch into a multitude of reasons why I can’t come with her. Instead, she says, “That’s perfect, because I genuinely didn’t know how I was going to leave you again.”

“Baby,” I say, discarding my shirt and unclipping my sling, “I’m going to be superglued to your side from now on. God help anyone who tries to pry us apart. Now get up and let’s get in.” I extend my hand to her.

“Wait,” she says, chewing on the side of her mouth. “There is something else I need to tell you.”

“It can wait a few minutes. Come on,” I say, dropping my boxers, “Let’s go.”

She shrieks and covers her eyes with her hands. “You’re naked!”

“Astute observation,” I deadpan.

“Why?”

“I lost the bet.”

“I don’t care about the silly race! Put them back on.” She peeks out between her fingers and shrieks again.

I chuckle loudly. “Baby, I’m not putting them back on, and you’d better get used to my nakedness ‘cuz there’s going to be a lot more of that in your future.”

I stretch my hand out again, grinning like a madman, and she gingerly takes it, desperately trying to avert her gaze. “You know, it might help if you got naked too,” I suggest. Her head flips up at that. I shrug casually as if I don’t have any ulterior motive. “Just saying, it might help you feel more comfortable with my nakedness if you got used to being naked too.”

“Not in this lifetime, Cal Remus.”

“Famous last words, Ariana Skyee.”

CHAPTER 18

I inspect my arm under the fading light of the sun. My skin has shriveled up like a withered prune, but I feel clean and whole, inside and out. We’ve spent hours in the water, and I’ve undoubtedly taken care of today’s shower and all of next week’s showers. Feeling this carefree in the midst of the mess that we call life is priceless. If we could stay here in our blissful cocoon, I’d be the happiest man alive. We’d only hauled ourselves out of our watery heaven when the sun started to dip in the sky dragging all the warmth with it. The minute I spotted Ariana shivering, I whipped her out and blanketed her in a towel.

I run my fingers through her damp, wavy hair, and her hand stalls on the towel at her feet. “I like your hair like that,” I admit. “It’s sexy.”

Perching her chin on her chest, she angles her face and looks at me with a shy smile. She reaches over and runs her fingers through my hair. “And I love your hair like that. Just like when we met.”

Oh yeah, score one for the boy.

“We should start a mutual admiration society,” I mumble, drawing her to me. I kiss her lips and savor the touch and feel of her mouth against mine. She kisses me back with passion, and longing, and an urgency that’s so raw it takes my breath away. Cupping her face, I pull back and scan her face, marveling at the rosy glow in her cheeks, the sparkle in her eyes, and the curve of her inviting mouth.

I could gaze upon her forever.

I fully intend to.

“I love you so much.” I press a kiss to her shoulder and she shudders.

“I love you too. More than I can even describe,” she says, resting her hand on her chest. “But there are other things we need to discuss.” An agonizing look flits across her face, but it’s gone again so quickly that I’m not even sure it was there in the first place.

“If you are referencing Deacon and the issue with our dads, then that’s one less thing to argue about,” I explain, sitting up. Her eyebrows rise questioningly. “I’ve thought about what you said back in Saoirse and you were right.” I grab my sling and hoist it over my shoulder. Stretching across me, she helps fasten it in place. The caress of her fingers on my collarbone sends a flood of warmth to certain parts of my anatomy. If I hadn’t put my boxers and pants on again, it could be a whole different ball game. Literally. It could have been interesting. Mind out of the gutter, pervert.

“What brought about the change of heart?” she asks, slipping her arms into the sleeves of her jacket.

I struggle into my shirt and she comes to my aid again. “I remembered what it felt like to be ten.”

She stares intensely at me, as if she can see right into my mind. Crap, she’s been working on her gift so perhaps she can totally do that now. That’d be somewhat embarrassing, especially if she’s picked up on all the horny thoughts coasting through my brain since she showed up. “You can’t actually see into my mind, right?”

She winks and I gulp. “Ah, shit.” I chew on the side of my lip.

She fists her hand in my shirt. “I’m only messing with you. I can’t see into your mind.” Sweet relief floods through me. “But I can sense your emotions.” Stress levels skyrocket again.

“Awkward.”

She laughs. “Not awkward at all, baby. I love all your feels.” My heart soars in my chest. She’s not usually one for endearments, and I didn’t realize how amazing it would feel to hear her say it.

“What are you sensing now?” I trail a finger up her leg and my hand lingers on her thigh, electricity scorching my fingertips.

Two pink spots darken her cheeks. “Love. Happiness.”

“Anything else?” I cock my head to the side, and the flush on her skin reddens in a nanosecond.

“Shut it, you know! You’re the one feeling it!” She slaps my hand away, trying to laugh it off.

“Baby, you shouldn’t feel embarrassed that I lust after you so much. You set my body on fire with just one look and that’s a damned good thing.” Her face flares and even that sends a bolt of lightning straight to my lower regions. “I want you so much all the time,” I admit, pulling her to me.

Planting her hands firmly on my chest, she holds me at bay. “Focus, Cal. We still have stuff to talk over and it’s getting late, we need to get back soon.”

I growl low in my throat but I know she’s right. “Fine,” I say, pinching the bridge of my nose, “Deacon is too young to be told about Dad now. I was almost the same age he was when Mom died. I remember—like it was yesterday—how empty and lost I felt. It was the worst time because I couldn’t properly process why I was feeling so hollow inside.” My heart aches with the memory. “Deacon hasn’t even begun to deal with your mom’s death, and if he found out now that his dad isn’t his biological father, then I think it would destroy the kid. We can’t do that to him. Not until he’s older and mature enough to hear it and deal with it.”

Her hand squeezes mine. I sling an arm around her waist. “I think Dad is genuinely trying to make amends for his previous wrongdoing, and Deacon is part of that; he honestly wants to do right by him. I also believe he is grieving deeply over your mom. I don’t think he’s doing it deliberately to get back at your dad.”

I scoop her hair up and sling it over her shoulders. “I’ll talk to him when I’m back in Saoirse. I’ll try and make him see reason. The way I see it, there should be nothing stopping him from being in Deacon’s life. Yes, it won’t be as transparent as he’d like it to be, but it’s a way for him and Deacon to connect. You and I are together, and we’re going to have a family soon, so our two families will naturally grow closer. There should be ample opportunity for him to spend time with Deacon without raising any suspicion. Hopefully, Dad will see it like that and it’ll be enough for him.”

Her eyes sparkle with hope. “I think my dad would agree to that much. Honestly, Cal, he won’t stop your dad when the time comes. I know him, he’s a good man, and he just wants what’s best for Deacon.”

“What’s most important,” I say, supplanting her hands around the nape of my neck, “is that we won’t let it come between us. No matter what happens, it won’t affect us. Agreed?”

She licks her lips and it’s like a shot of Viagra whizzing straight through my body. Her eyes widen in recognition and I wink. “Told you baby.” I grin smugly as my lips seal to hers.

She breaks the kiss first. Her fingers dig into the corded muscle of her shoulders, and she twists her neck gently from side to side. “I need to practice more at shielding your emotions. It’s like I’m taking a double hit every time.” She shimmies on her knees and hell yeah, I love that she’s feeling it too. We could have some fun with this! I move in for the kill but she shoots me a cautionary look.

“I have something I need to get off my chest,” she says.

“Please tell me it’s your bra?” Butterflies dance a jig of delicious anticipation in my stomach.

“Cal.” How she can embed so much seriousness into one word is a remarkable talent. “I’ve been trying to tell you this since last night.”

I scratch my head, suddenly antsy. “Okay. I’m listening.”

“No more secrets,” she whispers.

My stomach lurches. This is something to do with him. I just fucking know it. “You said that to me once before.”

“I know. But I didn’t tell you this then because I didn’t think it mattered and I knew it would only hurt you.” Her hands creep through the grass and she purposely looks away. “I was wrong. I should have told you, which is why I am now.” Raising her head, she focuses her full attention on me. A glimmer of conflicting emotions contorts her features.

“What did you do?” I ask the question though my brain screams at me not to.

She cups my face in her hands and her breath swirls around my head, clouding my senses. “I love you,” she says, her tone laced with sincerity, “I only want a future with you. Don’t forget that.”

“Tell me,” I say, my voice bordering on menacing.

She removes her hands and clasps them in her lap. “I’ve kissed Zane.” My whole body sags inward. “Three times.” Ice rips up and down my spine. I’m numb for all of ten seconds, and then rage, hurt, and humiliation batter my insides like an invading army as the icy feeling is replaced with fire. A deep gut-wrenching pain slithers and slides inside me, infecting everything that has been beautiful and sweet, turning it into something nasty and sour. I clench my teeth as if my jaw is wired shut. Bitter fury is clamoring to burst free of my skin, like a poison angling for release.

I’m afraid to speak. Afraid of the strength of the emotions her admission has bled in me. So I sit there stewing, my brain struggling to understand how she could betray me.

After a few minutes, she exhales deeply and speaks. “Please say something. Anything.”

Grinding my teeth, I stare at her, working hard to keep a lid on my acrimonious feelings.

“I’m so sor—”

I raise my hand and her mouth hangs open, mid-word. “Were you drunk when it happened?” She shakes her head. “Coerced?” She shakes her head again. “Under the influence of drugs?” Her lip wobbles as she shakes her head slowly. “Brainwashed?” She moves to shake her head but I interrupt her. “Oh no, I forgot. That was ME.” All my anger erupts in a fireball of self-righteous rage. “And I didn’t CHEAT!” I roar. “Don’t you dare tell me you’re sorry because sorry means jack-shit right now.”

She visibly flinches and fear replaces the sparkle in her eyes. That evokes a degree of restraint. I don’t want her to be scared of me. I close my eyes and count to ten in my head. Remembering the tips the doctor gave me for controlling my rage in times of severe stress, I summon up my peaceful place. Picturing the cove back in Novo where I used to go swimming, I visualize the crystal clear, calm water, and I imagine it swirling and sweeping through my body, putting out the fire. Gradually, I feel the anger seeping away. But it still lingers, simmering under the surface, ready to jump to life at the slightest provocation.

Opening my eyes, I try to look at her impassively so as not to incite Mr. Angry. I see the remorse in her expression, in her tightly clenched fists and the stiffness of her spine. She holds herself upright, so very still, careful not to do or say anything until I have my temper under control. My eyes zero in on her plump lips, slightly parted, breath dancing out, and my anger is quickly replaced with agonizing pain. An intense ache slices a clean cut straight through my heart. I bleed for her. It’s as if my heart has been ripped viciously from my chest and my life force is flowing away. When I thought I’d lost her to him, my suffering was off the Richter scale. This is … a very close second.

“Cal, I …” She stops speaking when she spots the warning look on my face. Don’t say you’re sorry. Anything but that. “Sorry” has to be the most over-used clichéd get-out clause in the history of mankind. Tossed out flippantly, without any real meaning or substance behind the word. Sense that. She looks down at her feet and her shoulders slump forward. Silence engulfs us.

“When did it happen?” I grit out.

I know; I’m a masochist.

She clears her throat and speaks in a low voice. “The first time was the morning after you showed up in Clementia.” I bite down hard on the inside of my cheek. “The second time was when he showed up in the observation deck in Saoirse.” I pummel my fist into the earth, my nails cutting through the grass, burrowing into the muck. “The third time was in Greece.”

My head jerks up. He was in Greece with her? WTF?! “Did you sleep with him?” My heart stops a beat while I brace myself for her response.

“No! I haven’t slept with anyone ever, except you.”

That’s of some comfort until an image of him and her locking lips flashes in my mind and I feel sick all over again. “Just so I’ve got this clear,” I start. I don’t even recognize my own voice. It sounds cold and hard, devoid of any warmth, any essence of humanity. “The first time you kissed him was while I was tied to a hospital bed going out of my frigging mind because I couldn’t remember who I was. The second time was literally minutes after you left my bed. And the third time was when …”

“Actually the third time wasn’t really a kiss. It was …”

I dart forward and she flinches back. I breathe deeply and try to calm down. “Did your lips meet his?”

“Yes, but …”

I raise a hand and her voice instantly freezes. “Then it was a kiss. Please don’t split hairs.” I blow loud air out of my mouth and then bury my head in my hands. This can’t be happening. Not when everything finally seemed to be coming good.

This girl holds my heart in her hands, and she’s squishing it to nothing with her confession.

“You know how I feel about cheating,” I say, eventually lifting my head to look at her. Moisture rims the corners of her eyes. “After everything I told you about my dad! It’s the one hard and fast rule I have. No matter how much of a douche I was to girls in the past, I never ever cheated on anyone. If I felt like it, then I did the right thing—I broke it off. I can’t believe you’ve done this.”

“I regret my actions so much. If I could go back in time, it wouldn’t have happened.” She pinches the bridge of her nose.

“Except we don’t have a time machine and we can’t change the facts. You betrayed me.” She sucks in a sharp gasp at the word. “With him.”

“It made no difference. It’s you I want.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better? Were you that unsure of your feelings for me that you needed to put it to the test?” Anger claws at the edge of my sanity.

“No, it wasn’t like that at all.” She huffs out a sigh.

“Then what was it? Because I’m really struggling to understand. You told me you felt love toward him but you were in love with me. Was that a lie too?” Crackling pain rattles through my skull.

“No. I meant what I said. Zane and I had a relationship that grew out of a friendship cultivated over years. We know each other inside and out. Even though I didn’t remember that, I still felt a pull toward him.” I bury my chin in my knees and dig my nails into my shins. I resist the temptation to stab my fingers in my ears.

She pierces me with a direct stare as she continues talking, never once averting her eyes from mine. “Now that I remember everything, it makes more sense.” I harrumph. “For as long as I can remember, Zane’s been there for me. Always protecting me, always my go-to person. It was that innate neediness that continued to draw me to him. I didn’t question that in Saoirse. I slotted back into that pattern without hesitation.” I grimace. “It was only when I went to Greece and properly reflected on it that I realized it’s a different kind of love. Still meaningful, but not what you and I share. I can’t lie, a part of me will always love Zane, but the love I have in my heart for you is stronger. It’s you I desire a future with. I don’t know if I’m explaining it properly, but I hope you understand and that you can forgive me. I wish it hadn’t taken me so long to figure it all out, but I know what I want, and it’s you. Only ever you. I love you and I want to be with you, if it’s not too late.”

I hear what she’s saying, and I see it written in the pleading look on her face. But I can’t get over the fact that she still loves him and she’s acted on that. How can I ever trust her around him again? Or trust her, period. To some, sharing kisses might not mean that much. But to me, it’s everything, and I don’t know if I can move past that.

Pushing off my one functional elbow, I rise unsteadily. She straightens up beside me, her face still exploring mine. The worried look on her face tells me she feels all that I’m feeling. It’s as if I’m standing on the edge of a precipice, contemplating the sheer drop below, wondering whether I have the guts to throw myself into the abyss or if I’ll chicken out and fall back. This isn’t any decision that can be taken lightly. So I tell her that. “I need time to work out how I feel about this. To decide whether I can forgive you for it or if it’s already struck the death-knell. You’ve really hurt me this time.”

Her hand fastens around my arm. “I hate myself for that.”

“I can tell that you do,” I say, removing her hand from my arm as tingles of awareness lance my skin. “But it’s of little consolation to me now. Pity you didn’t think of the consequences before acting on your neediness for him.”

She gasps sharply. Clutching her fingertips to her temples, she closes her eyes briefly. When they open, all the tiny hairs on my arm raise in alarm. “What?” I take a step toward her.

“I let my emotions cloud my mind!” she shrieks, bending down and retrieving our backpacks. “I should’ve seen them coming.” She shoves my backpack into my chest.

“Who’s coming?” I toss the bag over my good shoulder.

“Government soldiers. They’re climbing the other side of the hill as we speak.”

“Damn!” I unzip the bag and reach for my weapon, but her hand wraps around my wrist.

“It’s too late for that. We’re completely outnumbered. I’ll figure something out. Just hold my hand and brace yourself.”

Zipping the backpack, I slide it over my shoulder and take her offered hand. Several dark heads appear at the top of the hill and I curse under my breath. Ariana’s eyes are closed and her forehead creases in fierce concentration. The ground starts to tremble under my feet, and a fault line appears in the grass, weaving a quick path toward the hill. As I drag my gaze up, I count ten armed soldiers mounting the top of the hill. All their weapons are fixated on us. “Any time now, Ariana,” I whisper.

The earth shudders and shakes and a low grumbling sound echoes from deep underground. The soldiers sway unsteadily as they exchange puzzled looks. The rumbling sound accelerates as the hill starts to crumble underneath them. Bodies zigzag left and right, and I can hear raised voices shouting harried instructions. A couple of men attempt to slide downhill on their bellies just as a crashing boom vibrates all around and a deep ravine opens up in the center of the hill, gobbling them all up. Shrieks and screams pierce the air as the distinct sounds of struggle mix with gushing rivers of mud. Airborne gunshots ring out and frazzle my nerves. If the guys are offloading their weapons, it could signify there are more troops in the area.

“I think we need to get out of here now,” I suggest.

Ariana’s eyes flit open and she raises one finger. “Give me one second.” She closes her eyes again. “Ugh,” she shrieks, scrubbing the side of her face.

“What is it?”

“I can’t see anything. Damned visions,” she mutters.

“Come on then, let’s get out of here.”

“Just let me try one more time.” I force back my sigh.

“Right,” she says, her eyes opening wide, a few minutes later. “I’m not sensing any more soldiers in our vicinity, but there’s a whole battalion advancing on the base. They aren’t far away. We need to warn them. Do you still have your comm-clip?”

“On it,” I say, fingers already delving in the bag. I clip it on my ear and tap in the CO’s contact code. I update him quickly, advising what Ariana has seen. Disconnecting, I clutch her hand tightly and start running around the edge of the now-deflated hill. Birds chirping gaily are the only sounds to be heard. “Don’t look,” I say, as we pass and I spot a huddle of inert bodies flung together in the middle of the mound.

We run rapidly back the way we came, and I’m impressed when she keeps pace with me the whole way. “You doing okay?” I rasp, when we reach the edge of the woods.

“I’m fine. Let’s keep going. The battle has just started.”

“That was something else back there,” I admit, ducking out of the way of an errant branch.

“I’ve mastered that ability quite well,” she explains in a breathless voice. “But I still suck at controlling my visions. I’m too damned emotional and I’m letting it get in the way.”

I don’t quite understand what she means, but the thirsty ache in my lungs terminates any further conversation. A massive fireball blazes a path through the darkening sky, causing both of us to slam to a halt. It sparkles and crackles and whizzes around the sky as if it’s the Fourth of July. Booming sounds tickle my eardrums as more fire bolts shoot through the air.

Taking her hand again, we walk the last half a mile to the base. Whipping the backpack off my shoulder, I extract two weapons and hand one to her. “Stay close to my back and no heroics, please.”

She nods and lines up behind me as I edge carefully out of the woods. Acrid smoke funnels up my nose and coats my skin and I cough loudly. I hear a sharp rip behind me. Ariana hands me a strip of material torn from her dress and I plaster it over my mouth and nose. The extent of the damage inflicted on the base in the short amount of time it took us to run here is horrifying. The field of pods is gone, replaced with burning, charred remains and bundles of brightly burning fires. Massive craters dot the ground and strewn bodies lie all over the place. Traded gunfire echoes all around us, and the noise is deafening. Rocket launchers fire missiles at an approaching flock of stealth-craft.

That would explain the Fourth of July theatrics then.

Ariana’s fingers clutch at the shirt on my back as she stumbles over a fallen body on the ground. I need to get her out of here. It’s like a mantra running through my brain. I can’t let anything happen to her or the babies. Reaching around, I grab her hand and pull her into my side. “Stay right beside me and stay alert. Let’s stick to the outer perimeter, it’s further away from the center of the fighting.” She nods and starts running with me. A soldier approaches in front, gun raised. Before I can react, a bullet lodges in his skull and he drops to the ground. Ariana keeps her weapon raised in front of her as two more soldiers advance. Dropping her hand, I fire my weapon to the left while she tackles the guy on the right.

“Damn!” I shout as another trio of soldiers quickly replaces them. “We’re totally fucking outnumbered again.” Fury charges my body as if I’ve just plugged my arm into an electrical socket, and I throw myself at the group, my fist pounding one after the other. Rapid gunfire rings out behind me and my whole body freezes in terror. Turning around, I almost collapse in a heap when I see Ariana still standing, bodies mounting at her feet.

“Watch out,” she shrieks, darting toward me. She raises her hand in a sweeping gesture, and I feel a crisp breeze at my back, followed by a loud thud. Swiveling around, I spot the soldier tossed to the side.

“Did you do that?” I toe the motionless body with my boot.

“Yes, but he’s only knocked out so you should probably stop prodding him. Come on,” she yells, also clearly spotting the barreling tunnel of fire heading this way.

Diving to the side, I cover her body with mine as the missile implodes beside us. Shit, this isn’t going to be good. Squeezing my eyes shut, I concentrate on the feel of her body underneath me and think if this is our time, then it isn’t such a bad way to go. Together.

“Open your eyes, Cal,” Ariana says, in a soft voice. I crack an eye open, and I’m immediately aware of the blurry haze that surrounds us. Outside our bubble, soldiers and rebels trade shots, fires blaze, and dark smoke creeps around the burning remains of the base.

My eyes lock on hers as she wriggles out of my heavy embrace. I let out a low whistle. She’s a damn magician. The things she can do? Yeah, there aren’t adequate words in this world to describe it. “I’ll have to release the shield as it zaps too much of my strength. In ten, you ready?” she says, lifting up.

I stand beside her and grab her hand. “Ready.”

Piercing noise assaults my ears as all my senses reactivate at once. The smells, sounds, and sight we are reacquainted with are an affront to humanity and my inner-super-soldier roars to life. I whip off my sling, ignoring the remonstrating pain shooting up my arm. Ariana nods at me. “Let’s fight,” she says, fierce determination etched on her face.

I charge into the middle of the battle with my avenging angel by my side. Ripping through the opposition, I toss soldiers all around me. Who needs weapons when the government has already turned my own body into the most effective weapon of all? Ariana never strays far from my side. Turns out she doesn’t need her weapon much either. Our spiritual mother has equipped her body and mind with all the tools she needs to defeat the enemy.

Her arms sweep out in front of her in graceful, swirling motions as she thrusts handfuls of soldiers into the sky with a flourish of her hand. I’m enchanted by the ethereal quality of her movements, and if we weren’t locked in a life or death situation, I might be tempted to grab a bucket of popcorn and settle down to watch the show.

“Cal,” Xander calls out. Pivoting around, I see my bud barreling his way toward me, Amber hot on his heels. “Holy hell,” he exclaims when he reaches me and notices Ariana. At this moment, she is standing tall in front of an approaching line of soldiers, a calm confidence igniting the space around her. Raising her arms, she flings them out extravagantly and the entire line is rocketed into space. Amber and Xander draw in audible breathes and share matching awestruck looks.

“No time to appreciate the show,” I shout, gesturing behind them. “Incoming!” We form an informal circle, our backs to each other as we twist around and take out the competition, but more and more soldiers just keep on coming. Like they’ve been spit out of a birthing machine.

Swiping my arm across my sweat-soaked forehead, I feel like punching the air when I notice some of our colleagues approaching from the easterly side. Reinforcements, at last! Six Saoirse soldiers march forward in a steady line. Euphoria gives way to unease as I note the glazed look in their eyes. I grab a government soldier as he attempts to creep up behind me and wrap my hand around his neck, squeezing until I feel him lose consciousness

The whole time my eyes are fixated on the group approaching, and every cell in my body screams out in warning. Our rebel colleagues’ movements are almost comical in their uniform robotic walk. But it’s the numb look in their eyes that concerns me the most. They stare at us, seeing but not seeing, like functional empty shells.

“Eh, guys. I think we have a problem.”

“Thank God!” Amber says, “Backup at last.” She takes half a step toward them and I lunge for her. But I’m too late. A familiar red-haired girl points her gun at Amber and pulls the trigger. It happens so goddamned fast and I’m not quick enough. Time seems to stand still, and the only things I’m aware of are the sound of Xander’s ear-crunching wail and the slant of Amber’s body as she collapses in my arms.

Xander slams into me and we dive-bomb to the ground. Shots whizz over our heads, and we hop up at the same time and return fire, condemning our team mates to their death. I know it was them or us, but the burning fire coating my heart refuses to go away. Sliding to my knees, I move to check Amber as a shot slices by my face. Looking sideways, I spot four soldiers sneaking up on us, and I think the time to start a novena has definitely arrived.

A pair of worn black boots settles in the mud beside me as Ariana makes light work of the competition. She crouches down and pins me with a sorrowful look. “Cal, she’s gone.”

Taking one look at Amber’s soulless eyes, I can instantly see the truth of her words. The fire around my heart frosts over as chills solidify my insides until I feel nothing. As I stare at the beautiful face of a girl who once meant a lot to me, all the fight leaves my body.

I hear Ariana and Xander conversing in low tones, and he huddles beside me. Bathed in a brilliant white light, all my senses fall away as the hazy environment of Ariana’s shield folds over us protectively. Tilting my head, I look up at my fiancée, mesmerized. Her eyes are slammed shut as she focuses her mind. She weaves her arm elegantly through the air before fisting her hand and pulling her arm downward in one fluid, swift motion. The shield wobbles as a beam of light blanket-sweeps the entire field.

Ariana slumps to the ground as my senses return. I catch her in my arms and draw her into my chest, my fingers probing her wan face. I inhale her sweetly feminine scent as her breath shoots out in a steady stream. Clutching her to me, all manner of emotions cloud my mind.

Xander stands on shaky legs. “Oh my God.”

I scan the scenery in front of me, my brain grappling to understand it. The only sound is the wind whooshing through the trees. Everyone is motionless. All the fires are gone. The noise of battle quieted. Total empty silence. Ariana’s eyes flutter open and I help her to stand up. “Are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah,” she pants. “Just so tired.”

“What did you do?” Xander asks, concern and admiration mixed in his tone.

“I sent a calming wave over the area.” Two dumbstruck boys stare back at her. “Basically, I’ve put them all to sleep. It buys us a little time.” She bites down shyly on her lower lip. “The others are arriving so we need to move fast.”

“What others?” Ignoring the throbbing pain in my arm, I frown.

“I relayed a message to Saoirse HQ asking them to send additional troops. They are rounding the bend now. We need to greet them, explain, so they know what to do.”

There is only one way she could’ve communicated that message. Instantly, everything else clears out and we’re back to an hour ago. Heart-stomping agony rips through my insides. I can’t keep doing this. It’s going to kill me stone dead.

I shoot a glacial look her way. “You contacted Zane?”

CHAPTER 19

“Yes, I asked Zane to get a message through to Dad.” She says it matter-of-factly, her expression impressively passive. “We need to move now, Cal. Are you okay to carry Amber?”

Bending down, I gently lift Amber into my arms and nod tersely at Ariana.

We’re a glum group as we race through the field, dodging potholes and jumping over motionless bodies, as if we’re champion hurdlers.

Commander Skyee’s imposing form waits for us at the top of the field. Ariana goes straight to his side and they talk in hushed whispers. His features set in a hard line as he argues with her and my interest is piqued. I take a step forward as her eyes lock on mine. Shaking her head, she shoots a warning look my way.

Whatever.

I walk to the medical van and carefully lay Amber inside. The ghostly numb feeling has returned to my body and my limbs feel heavy and burdensome. I’m sick to my stomach of all this. The reality of war is so far removed from the theory of it. All those years spent training in NSAFTA are little more than a blip. Not once did I ever let reality sink into my brain. This isn’t what I wanted out of life, not even close to it.

Xander materializes alongside me, and he shares my surly, pained expression. I whisper my request to him. He nods in agreement, his gaze unblinking. Part of me longs to go, to get away from the nightmare of war, but there’s a bigger part of me that can’t get over what she’s done. I know Xander will keep her safe.

“Xander,” Commander Skyee says, appearing in front of us. Ariana hovers at his heels. “Can you assist my troops in gathering up our soldiers and helping load them into vans for transport to the Velo station? We need to evacuate everyone promptly before our enemy awakens.”

“We’re clearing out?” I ask.

“Yes. The order has been given to withdraw all ground troops from active combat. We need to hunker down and reassess our options.”

“About damn time,” I snap, folding my arms across my chest.

“I understand you are going to Greece with Ariana,” he says, his voice roughened.

“Actually, sir,” Xander says, stepping forward, “I’m going to escort Ariana back to Greece.”

Ariana’s eyes flip to mine. “Can I talk to you for a second?”

I nod. “Xander, can you locate Taylor please?” I ask, without taking my eyes off Ariana. Xander claps a hand on my shoulder and then I hear the heavy thud of his retreating footsteps.

“Make it snappy, Ari,” Commander Skyee says.

I walk toward her and gesture with my head. She follows me behind the back of the medic truck. “Talk to me.”

My gut tightens and I can’t even look her in the face. “I need time to digest what you’ve told me.”

“Cal,” she whispers. Her soft voice threatens to unchain the tenuous lock on my volatile emotions. “I understand that you need time to think, but please come to Greece. It’s so peaceful there, and I’ll give you as much space as you need.” A feathery light tingle dances up my arm as her small hand wraps around my wrist. I lift my head to look at her, and my eyes burn painfully as I all but melt under the powerful sheen of her gaze. With her hair spilling over her shoulders and her lips slightly parted in expectation, she’s like my own personal version of heaven.

Or hell.

I don’t want to leave her side, but I also can’t bear to be in her company right now. Raw hurt pounds through my veins, making my blood thrum faster. Anxiety presses down on me, and heart-crushing pain threatens to rip my chest wide open, exposing my vulnerability for all to see.

“I can’t.” I shake my head. “I don’t know what I feel anymore. I’m so sick of everything.” And isn’t that the truth.

She attempts to smother her disappointment but she was never much of an actress. “I understand.” Releasing her hand, she steps away. I spin around and spot Xander approaching, Taylor’s slumped form draped over his back.

“Ready, Ariana?” he asks.

“Yes. Thank you for coming with us, Xander.” She smiles widely but there’s no warmth behind it. She steps around me and then stops abruptly. Turning around, she faces me head-on and speaks in a loud, clear voice. “Know this much, Cal. I understand that I’ve made a total mess out of everything, but it doesn’t change how I feel about you. I love you with all my heart, and it’ll kill me if you can’t get beyond this. But I’ll respect your decision either way, and I give you my word that it won’t affect your ability to form a relationship with your child.” She lowers her voice so only I can hear. “I would never keep our babies from you. Whatever decision you make should not be influenced by my pregnancy.”

She holds her head up stoically, and where once there would have been copious tears, there is only maturity and sincerity. I almost cave on the spot. Stepping forward, she wraps her arms around my neck and envelops me in a firm embrace. Kissing my lips ever so softly, she pulls back and whispers, “I love you, Cal. Please find it in your heart to forgive me.”

God, I want to. Truly, I do.

But I just don’t know if I can.

Then she’s gone and I’m standing in the middle of the field, watching all the activity around me, as if I’m an invisible bystander.

Only a third of the base makes it out alive. We only manage to fit a tiny fraction of our dead in the two medical trucks, so we’re forced to leave our remaining colleagues to rot in the field like day-old rubbish. Bile floods my throat and I gag. Standing, I shimmy up the truck, squeezing past world-weary soldiers standing between the two crowded benches. Sweat, blood, and the scent of unwashed bodies waft in the humid air. I gag again.

Poking my head through the canvas cover separating the driving area from the back, I motion at Commander Skyee. “What is it, Solider Remus?”

“Sir, I need to speak to you about an urgent concern.”

“Right now?”

“Yes. This can’t wait.” Sweat slicks across my brow and drips down into my eye. The truck shudders to a halt, and the Commander gestures for me to get out.

We walk to the side of the road, the truck sheltering us from view. My fingers delve into my pants and my hand clasps a thin strip of material. Pulling out the ripped shred from Ariana’s dress, I ignore the painful pulsing of my heart, and wipe it across my sweat-drenched brow. “Make this quick, Cal,” he says.

“Something weird happened back there.” He pins me with a “duh” look and my middle finger twitches at my side. “A few of our own soldiers turned on us, and I’m concerned that we may be unwittingly transporting trouble back to HQ as we speak.”

He expels a lungful of air and pins me with a stern look. “Care to elaborate on that, soldier?”

“Amber was killed by one of our own soldiers. Six of them were approaching us from a westerly direction, and as I watched them, I could tell that they weren’t in command of themselves. It was almost as if they were under some spell or someone had hijacked their minds. Their expressions were void, sir, like robots.” I scratch an imaginary itch on the back of my head. “I’m not the best at explaining …”

He raises a hand and silences me. “On the contrary, I think you’ve described that adequately. Am I to understand that this was only some of our troops? Others appeared to be okay?”

I nod, wondering where he’s going with this. He raises a finger to his lips and his forehead creases. I stand there like a spare tool while his brain kicks into action. His head whips up and his gaze locks on mine. “Did you recognize any of the six soldiers? Were they part of the original Saoirse ranks or newer team members? Think carefully, this could be important.”

I don’t need to think about it. “I knew the girl who killed Amber. Bethany, I think her name was. She was only recruited a few weeks ago.”

“Are you sure?” he asks, lifting his cap and running his fingers through his hair.

“One hundred percent.”

“Then I think we have our answer.” He fits the cap down over his head.

We do? Think Cal, you big doofus. It comes to me in a flash. “The Vita.”

He nods. “I think it’s safe to assume that the government has developed a new form of population control. It’s the only answer that makes sense. I’m less convinced of the how but for now that’s enough.”

“What are you going to do?” I shove my hands in my pants pocket and rock back on my heels.

“Contact the other trucks and get everyone scanned. Anyone with a live Vita implant will have to stay behind.” His hands coil into fists at his side, and it’s obvious this is a tricky call to make.

“I understand how difficult that decision is, sir, but I believe it’s the right call. We have to protect the majority until we’ve figured this out.”

He slaps a hand on my back. “I know. Doesn’t mean it sucks any less though.”

Ten trucks arrive at the Velo station a lot lighter than when we left the base. Most everyone has woken up by now. After the initial explanations are out of the way, somber expressions and dejected forms are the order of the day. Everyone is feeling this in a major way. “Cal!” Isla calls out, running toward me.

I hug her tight, so glad to see a familiar face. “Good to see you, sweetness.”

She shucks out of my arms and pins me with a look that she’s clearly borrowed from Ariana. “Funny boy. I thought you were heading to Greece?” I look over her head and spot another familiar form sauntering toward us.

“Last minute change of plan.” I make a disgruntled sound at the back of my throat.

“Jax, man, glad you made it.” I raise my clenched fist.

“Dude,” he says, knocking his knuckle to mine. “Your girl is one weird chick. I didn’t know what hit me.” He chuckles.

“Always knew she was a freak,” Isla mutters under her breath.

A snarl leaks out of the corners of my mouth. She may be in my bad books right now, but no one is disrespecting Ariana in my presence. Isla holds up her hands in a conciliatory gesture. “Don’t be a jerk, Isla. We’d all be toast right now if it wasn’t for Ariana.”

“Come on, Cal, you know I was only joking.” She tips her hip against mine.

I shoot a “do look like I was born yesterday?” look her way.

“Well, half-joking,” she corrects.

“Soldier Remus,” Commander Skyee shouts from somewhere behind me. I spin around and he waggles his fingers at me.

I give Jax and Isla a quick one-armed hug. “See you in HQ.”

I sprint along the platform, sidestepping soldiers as I run. Commander Skyee is crouched over a body on the ground, and my heart rate starts beating at an unnatural pace.

“Oh no!” I wail, dropping to my knees beside him. Commander De Luca’s blurry gaze sweeps over me. A sheen of sweat coats his forehead and his skin is as white as the tile he lies on. A large red pool of blood on his shirt is spreading wider as we look on helplessly.

“Took one for the team,” he rasps. He still tries to downplay things, even now.

“Can you ride with him and the doc?” Commander Skyee says, motioning toward the small, broad-shouldered man standing off to the side. “Ensure he is taken to the medical center the minute we arrive. Understood?” He straightens up.

“Yes, sir. I’ll look after him.” I rise, swaying a little unsteadily on my feet.

“And Cal?”

His tone is softer, and there’s something about the look in his eyes that tells me he is going to reference something personal. Please don’t mention Ariana. I’m barely holding my shit together as it is. “Yes, Commander?” I’m sure he can hear the angst in my voice.

“Make sure someone looks after that arm of yours too.”

I expel a grateful lungful of air as I nod.

Commander De Luca dies in my arms about ten minutes outside the underwater compound. Tears drip down my face and over my chin as I stare numbly at the soldier across the row from me. They keep flowing and I can’t make them stop. And I don’t know that I want to.

I never cried after Mom died. Dad told me I had to man-up. At ten years of age, I didn’t understand his words, and I thought he meant that I shouldn’t cry. So, I bottled it all up inside.

I cry unashamedly now.

It’s not the gut-wrenching hysterical type of snotty-nosed sobbing, more the suffer-in-silence type. But I don’t even try to stem the flow, understanding that I’m crying as much for the loss of my mom, the demise of my relationship with the girl of my dreams, and the death of a future I thought I had all mapped out, as much as I cry for the man in my arms, who in the last two months had come to mean much more to me than just my Commanding Officer. Poor Ruby. She’s lost both her parents now.

Dad and Mel are standing at the front of the platform when we reach the station. Jaden and Ruby wait just behind them. She can’t see her father like this. Whispering quietly to the doctor, I inch out from under the CO’s lifeless body and stride out of the carriage.

Mel steps toward me, but I hold my hand up. “No one is to get on that carriage.” I stare at my dad, willing him to understand. He’s military. He does. Nodding subtly at me, worry lines dot his brow. “Jaden? A quick word please.” He opens his mouth—no doubt to spout some of his usual crap—but stalls when he sees the thunderous look on my face. “Over here now.” You’d swear I was the bossy older one.

“What?” he asks, pinning me with a derisory look.

“Ruby’s father just died in my arms.” No point in sugarcoating it; there isn’t time. The last thing I want is Ruby forcing her way onto that carriage looking for her dad.

“Fuck.” Jaden’s spooked eyes meet mine. “Will you tell her?”

“What?” I stand back and survey the piss-poor example of a man standing in front of me. “Are you for real? She’s your girlfriend, isn’t she? Don’t you want to be the one to tell her? Of course, I’ll speak to her at some point, but I honestly think she should hear it from you. She’ll need your support.”

“Ah, bro, you know I’m not good with that shit.”

“Well, fucking TRY!” I yell, all semblance of patience gone. I’ve always known my brother had no backbone but this is low, even for him.

“Is it Commander De Luca?” Dad asks in a low voice, planting himself in the middle of us. Looking over my shoulder, I see the worry building momentum in Ruby’s terrified eyes. The girl is no fool.

“Yes,” I grit out. “He died on the way here and this frigging idiot,” I say, drilling a finger into Jaden’s chest, “can’t even summon the guts to tell his girlfriend, let alone comfort her.”

“Jaden,” Dad says, “That girl needs you now more than ever. Are you telling me you are incapable of wrapping your arms around her and holding her while she cries?”

“No, Dad,” Jaden says, shoving a hand through his hair, “I can do that part.”

I turn on my heel at that. I’ve had enough of this bullshit. Ruby is no dummy and she’s seconds away from charging that train. I stand in front of her and beseech Mel with my eyes. “Ruby,” I say gently.

“No!” she shrieks.

“Your dad is gone, sweetheart. I’m devastated for you.” She rocks back on her heels, and her eyes fix on mine before swiveling in Jaden’s direction. Stepping aside, I spot the uncertainty in my brother’s eyes, and I want to throw his spineless ass against the wall. Ruby’s eyes turn back to me, brimming with tears, shock and fear and grief etched clearly on her face. “Come here,” I say, holding my arms out to her. She walks numbly into my embrace, breaking down in a split second. I hold her close to my chest and smooth my hand over her hair. Mel wraps an arm around each of us and cradles her friend, her own sobs mingling with Ruby’s.

I’m glad I got all my crying out of the way earlier because otherwise I’d be of as much use to these girls now as Jaden is.

Dad eventually convinces Jaden to grow a pair, and Ruby slides out of my arms into his. I glare at him, injecting as much venom as I can in the look. Dad plants a warning hand on my arm. “You’re injured. Let’s get you to the Medical Center.”

Dad wrestles me away before I do something I may regret. Or not. Jaden’s long overdue a sock in the mouth and I’m just the man for the job. The fact that we’re related beggars belief.

After a brief visit to the hospital, I leave without as much as an ache anywhere in my body. Pity the same can’t be said for my damaged brain. I make a quick stop at the cafeteria and grab some snacks before heading back to my apartment.

Ben jumps me the minute I step into the space. “Bro, have you no concept of personal space?” I jest. It’s far easier to joke around than tell him about the rotting emptiness festering inside me.

“Jesus, Cal. I wasn’t sure if you made it. They screened some scenes of the battle, it looked rough out there.”

“I’d rather not talk about it now.” I collapse on my bed and the full, springy mattress feels so good underneath me. Until I remember whom I used to share it with and the heart-wrenching ache in my chest starts to throb painfully.

“Sure, man. Did everyone make it out?” he asks, lounging on the edge of the bed.

I grind my teeth down to my molars. I shake my head. “No.” His face crumples. “Amber and Ruby’s dad are dead.”

His face speaks a thousand words in that moment. “Are you alright?” he eventually asks.

I snort and sit up. “You want the truth?” I press my knuckles into my forehead and close my eyes.

“Where’s Ariana? I thought she was with you?”

I grimace and turn away. “She’s gone back to Greece.”

“What’s happened?” He twists around so I’m forced to confront him head on. “I thought she’d chosen to be with you?”

“You seem reliably well-informed, bro.” My eyes drill into his.

“I’ve spoken with Zane,” he admits. My heart crashes in my chest. It wasn’t enough that Zane tried to steal my girl? Now he’s after my best buddy too? And yeah, I know I sound like an immature punk but two fingers to that.

“Were you aware that he’s been sneaking around kissing my fiancée behind my back?”

Ben’s shocked expression tells me he hasn’t been fully apprised of all the facts. “Left out that little nugget of information, did he?”

“Hell.”

“That’s quite the understatement.” My voice cracks about the same time my heart does. “Everything’s turned to crap. I don’t know what to do.” I drape an arm across my face as I tilt against the headrest. “I’m so conflicted.”

“When did you find this out?”

I try to work it out in my head. Jeez, it was only a few hours ago, but it seriously feels like I’ve lived a lifetime and then some during the course of this day. I rub my temples soothingly. “Earlier on today. I was all set to go to Greece with her, but when I found this out, I could hardly even look at her. How could she do this to me?”

The screen flickers to life on the wall before Ben can reply. It’s Dad, advising that my presence is required immediately in Command Center.

“Let’s talk later,” Ben says, as I swing my legs off the bed.

Striding into the room, I almost do a U-turn when I spot the back of Zane’s head at the table. Mr. Angry seethes with pompous indignation and every nerve ending tingles with unspent energy. My fists are itching for a fight, and if he so much as looks at me funny, I’m having at him. “Son,” Dad says, “I’ve saved you a seat.” Zane’s spine straightens in his chair. Good.

I purposely ignore him as I walk around the table and plonk down in the chair alongside my father. “Thank you for joining us, Soldier Remus,” Calista says. “Commander Skyee was updating us on some of the things you witnessed at the battle today, but we thought it best to hear it directly from you. Can you inform the Council, please?”

So I explain it to them exactly as I explained it to Ariana’s dad. Calista trades worried looks with her right-hand man, Dan Fielding, Saoirse’s chairman. “That confirms it then,” she tells the group.

“Confirms what?” I ask, straining against the side of the table.

She stabs a button on a panel in the middle of the table and a digital screen projects in front of us. The screen pops to life and I watch, sickened, as the images replay in full gory detail. The recordings flit between various sites, showing a repeat of what I witnessed my Saoirse colleagues do in the midst of battle today, in other locations.

After the sixth image change, I look away, focusing instead on the row of desks below us, watching the bobbing heads busy at work. Anything to avoid looking at the horror on the screen.

When the broadcast fades out, I refocus my attention on the table. My eyes unwittingly zero in on Zane’s. My nostrils flare and I glower at him, putting every ounce of hurt and pain I feel behind the look. He stares straight ahead, no change in his expression to indicate I’ve rattled him at all, and that only infuriates me further. I’m having a hard time keeping my butt in the seat when a hand lands discreetly on my leg, pressing down. “Get control of yourself,” Dad hisses under his breath. Now my fist craves a date with his face. Deploying every scrap of willpower, I start counting to ten in my head and visualizing my happy place. It barely works, but it’s enough, provided this damn meeting doesn’t go on for much longer.

“We’ve had reports of these types of incidents from several states, and we’ve taken huge hits both in the field and in the warehouse lodgings. We’ve no option but to issue a blanket order to cease all combat and take shelter.”

“That’s not going to help solve this particular problem though,” Dad says, speaking up for the first time. “If the government is using the Vita to control a large section of our new army, then they pose a significant threat to our efforts. We need to contain them until we decide what to do.”

“Your assessment is bang on, Commander Remus, however, we believe the government has to be aware of the identity of the soldiers in order to flip that switch.”

“I’m not following,” Commander Skyee says, his brow crinkling. That makes two of us.

“Zane, can you please update the group on what you’ve learned,” Calista says. My dad’s hand slams down on my leg in warning, and I shoot him a filthy look.

“I’ve analyzed the footage using our new electro-digital scanning equipment, and it’s no coincidence that stealth-craft were hovering in the sky at every single scene where there is evidence of our soldiers being used against us. We’ve monitored other sites where there were new recruits but no overhead craft, and the level of electro-magnetic activity is minimal compared to the surge in activity in the other sites. While I don’t have any hard evidence yet, I’m assuming the government needs to be at close range to trigger the switch and control the actions of those they wish to mind-jack. Or they need to identify Vitas on an individual basis in order to manipulate them. Or perhaps a mix of those things.” He gives a one-shouldered shrug.

“We all know what they say about those who make assumptions,” I say, the words automatically spilling from my mouth.

Zane’s expression doesn’t change but a muscle thrums in his jaw, and I know I’ve hit a nerve. “You’ve got the ass part down pat,” he says a second later, and hot anger stampedes through my veins.

“Your assumptions are just that,” Dad says, his voice barely containing his contempt, as his hand constricts the blood flow in my leg. Ordinarily I hate this side of my dad, but I’ve just elevated myself to number one cheerleader. “And I don’t see how this helps at all.”

“Commander Remus, Soldier Remus, please watch your tone at this table,” Calista reprimands. “Perhaps your bias is clouding your judgment?” She arches an elegant brow, as she looks Dad square in the face. “This is useful information. Firstly, Zane and his team can conduct further research and confirm our suspicions. Secondly, we now know these people aren’t a threat unless government craft are nearby. As a precaution, we are in the process of rehousing all our ground-based troops. We will round up all those with live Vitas, put them in the same lodgings, and separate out our other soldiers and keep them in bases with early warning detection systems. That way, if the government tries the same trick again, we will have adequate time to prepare our defense.”

Dad swallows a fairly hefty dose of humble pie.

“What if they use them against civilians in an attempt to discredit us? Or just pit them against each other?” Commander Skyee asks.

“We doubt they’d turn them against each other—it defeats the whole point of the Vita control. However, they may decide to use them against the general population and pin the blame on us. That’s a significant concern and something we need to discuss in more detail,” Dan Fielding admits.

“Our main priority now is accelerating our plans to win this war via technology and to start actively plotting our takeover of Novo. It’s clear who has supremacy on the ground. Let’s show them we have the upper hand in every other way.”

“Are you sure about that?” I ask.

“Your point is?” Calista tilts her head to the side.

“We were told that the monitoring drones have been taken out,” I say, drilling an imaginary hole in Zane’s skull as I pierce him with a stare, “yet the government were still aware of our movements and the locations of our base operations and clearly had adequate time to prepare to strike. How is that possible if we have the upper hand technically?”

“That’s a good point,” Dad says. Calista places a hand on his shoulder, and because I’m in close proximity, I can see the pressure she applies as she flattens her palm down. She’s not liking her any Remus love today.

“That is perplexing indeed,” she admits. “Zane, your thoughts?”

I slouch back in my chair and plant my disinterested face on.

“I don’t have an explanation. I’ve double-checked everything and changed all the security codes protecting our schedules and communication channels. I’ve confirmed that all the drones have been destroyed and we haven’t been hacked. The only logical deduction is that we have a traitor, someone is feeding intel to the other side.”

Several heads swivel in Dad’s direction and a cold sweat drips down my spine. I pull myself upright in my chair. “Now hang on here a second,” Dad says, invisible steam blowing out of his ears. “Don’t start pointing the finger at me. I haven’t done anything to betray our cause.”

“If there is a mole, and that’s a big if,” I say, “isn’t it logical to deduce that it’s someone with sufficient technical expertise? A person with the knowledge of how to transfer data and then cover their tracks.” I level a stare at Zane.

“Didn’t think you were cut from the same cloth,” Zane says, gesturing with his hand toward Dad and me. “Guess that’s something else I assumed wrong.”

I jump up in my seat. Commander Skyee clamps a hand on my shoulder and pushes me back down in my chair. “If you two can’t put aside your personal differences, then neither of you belongs at this table.”

“I think we’re done here for the moment,” Calista says. “Normal council meeting at ten p.m. sharp. Meeting dismissed.” Chairs scrape loudly but I’m trapped in mine, Ariana’s dad pinning me at the rear. Calista calls Zane aside and they walk into the small room just off to the right.

“Follow me,” Commander Skyee says. I trail him into the room.

Zane regards me neutrally so I do the same.

“Whatever is going on between you two cannot interfere with the work you do here,” Calista says, her gaze darting from Zane to me. “Both of you have an important part to play, and I can’t afford for petty squabbles to get in the way of our goals. Sort out your differences or stay out of each other’s way. I will not tolerate conduct like that again. Have I made myself clear?”

“Crystal,” I say with begrudging admiration. I’d hate to get on her bad side.

“I apologize profusely for any upset,” Mr. Diplomatic says, and I feel like hurling. What did Ariana ever see in this guy? He acts as if he’s about ninety. Maybe that’s what she’s into, a nasty little voice whispers in my ear. Shut up! I all but growl at my inner demon.

I stalk out of the room and storm down the corridor. Zane catches up to me. “Can we talk?”

“I’ve nothing to say to you.” I don’t as much as glance his way. If I look at him, I’m afraid I won’t be able to contain Mr. Angry anymore. “Get lost.” I motor on ahead, reciting the Saoirse mission statement in my head—anything to quell the nascent rage building to fever pitch inside me.

An arm fists in my shirt and I whirl around. “We need to talk,” Zane says, the toe of his boot nudging the edge of mine.

“Get the fuck away from me.” I shove him.

“God, you’re such an ass. I’ll never understand what she sees in you.”

Well, that’s like a red flag to a bull. Rage thunders through my veins, snapping the thin thread on my control.

I punch him in the face and man does it feel good.

CHAPTER 20

Pain flares across my knuckles but I relish the feeling. Zane rubs his jaw and stares at me warily, but he doesn’t make any attempt to defend himself. I suspect it’s because he understands that he deserves it for breaking the unwritten code. You never go after a girl when she’s engaged to someone else.

I have zero impulse control, and unable to summon an ounce of restraint from anywhere, I punch him again. He staggers back and a flash of anger burns in his eyes.

Oh yeah, baby. Now we’re on.

Zane throws himself at me, swinging his arms. His fist glances off my chin, and I lose my balance, falling flat on my back. Zane has gained the upper hand and he lands on top of me, leveling blows all over my face and upper chest.

He’s really getting into the spirit of things now.

But he’s no match for my body strength, and I quickly flip him off, rolling him onto the ground. My fist pounds into his face and a spurt of blood showers the front of my shirt.

Then I’m yanked backward and tossed to the side. Climbing to my feet, I sway slightly. Isla is crouched over Zane and Jax stands in front of me, a wide smile spread all over his face. “If you’re looking for additional wrestling partners, I’m always game.”

“Shut up, Jax,” Isla says, supporting Zane to stand. “That’s not helping.”

Zane spits out a mouthful of blood and I shoot him an amused look. He’s definitely rattled. Anger propels him forward, and dipping around Jax, he swings for me again. I bark out a short laugh as my fist extends, but Isla jumps in front of Zane at the last second and my punch sends her flying backward. Zane twists around and takes the brunt of the fall, Isla landing heavily on top of him. She cries out and the sound cuts through the red haze of my anger.

Jax lifts Isla up. “Damnit, Isla. Why’d you do that?” I ask, trying to level my breathing.

“Why do you think, you idiot!” she says, pushing me hard. She shoots a stern look at Zane and me. “Have you two lost your freaking minds? Seriously? Are we not dealing with enough crap?”

Her words are sobering. I doubt Ariana would be pleased to know we’ve been trading blows. “He started it,” I mutter.

“Oh please,” she says, hands propped on her hips. “You’re as bad as each other. You,” she says, jabbing me in the chest, “I’m not all that surprised at, but you,” she says, turning to prod her finger at Zane, “Words fail me.”

“You’re hardly in any position to criticize.” A knowing look passes between them.

“Yeah, well,” she admits, clawing her fingers through her hair, “I’ve seen the error of my ways. Come on, we best get your face checked out.”

Zane stalks past me with a face like thunder.

“Never a dull moment,” Jax chuckles, slapping me on the back. “Later, bro.”

Going back to my apartment, I grab a long, hot shower and change. My jaw aches something fierce and very faint bruising lines the curve of my cheek. The desire to knock Zane into next year still hasn’t dissipated and I’d happily sign up for round two.

Stomach rumbling, I head toward the cafeteria and spot my sister in the line for the hot buffet. I squeeze in behind her, ignoring the loud protests from the rear. “That’s so rude,” Mel says.

“Bite me.”

“You’re incorrigible.” She shakes her head and tries to smother her smile.

“Today’s been a shitty day, in a shitty week, of a shitty month. Skipping the line is the least of my worries.” I frown at the crowd in front of us. “Is it always this busy in here?”

“No. But we’ve had an influx of new residents, and it appears everyone is hungry.”

We finally make it to the top of the line, and I heap two plates full of food and swagger behind Mel as she weaves a route to her usual table. Understandably, my brother and Ruby are a no-show. Ben and a couple of unfamiliar boys are already seated. Thankfully, the dickhead is nowhere in the vicinity or I might be tempted to kick off again.

“So, how have you been?” I ask Mel, as I scoop a forkful of rice into my mouth.

“Okay.” Her eyes are downcast. She looks anything but okay.

“What aren’t you telling me?” I’d rather talk about her problems than give her any opportunity to start probing into my disastrous private life.

“Nothing.” She lifts a glass to her lips and drinks slowly. “I’m upset for Ruby.” Picking up her fork, she resumes toying with the food on her plate.

“I know. It’s awful but I’d rather not think about that right now.” I drop my fork and push my plate away, appetite ruined as I recall the look in Commander De Luca’s eyes just before he passed away. Talk about something else. Anything else. “You look very thin, Mel. I hope you’ve been taking care of yourself.”

“Cal, don’t start. Please. You try being imprisoned underwater for two months and see how you feel,” she says, pushing back her chair and standing abruptly. “I’m going to check in on Ruby. I’ll catch you in the morning. Sleep well.” Hunkering down, she kisses my forehead and leaves.

Way to go, douche. It appears the infection of foot-and-mouth I’m inflicted with shows no signs of abating.

My feet drag me to the observation deck as if on autopilot. My thoughts instantly drift to Ariana. She claimed this place as her sanctuary almost the minute we arrived here. Now that I know the extent of the terrifying memory she recalled, I can fully understand the wide-eyed alarmed look she’d been rocking that first day.

How ironic that she felt it would be the thing to pull us apart when a few errant kisses did the job more than effectively.

A body slumps down on the floor next to me. “You know there’s a bench right there,” Isla says, pointing with her finger.

“I like it better here.” My voice sounds robotic.

“Weirdo,” she mutters. My lips curl up slightly.

“To what do I owe this pleasure?”

“I was following you,” she says, and my eyebrows rise in surprise. “You were totally oblivious. I know a troubled soul when I see one. Takes one to know one, I guess.” She swipes her palms down the front of her pant legs.

“And?” I shrug my shoulders.

“And, jerk,” she says, slamming her elbow into my side, “you looked like you could use a friend.”

“Is that what we are?” My look is incredulous. “Last time I checked, you were his friend and I’m done sharing friends and anything else with him.”

“Are you always this dramatic? No wonder you and Little Miss Innocent were drawn to each other. She was all about the drama too.”

That flips my rage switch to the max. “Screw you, Isla.” I push off the floor but a hand hooks my arm.

“Stop overreacting. I apologize for any offense.” She tilts forward and stares at me. “Better?”

“Don’t you have anything better to do, sweetness?”

She throws back her head and laughs loudly. “God, I can read you like a book. Deflect away, Cal, but that’s not going to cure whatever’s got up your butt. Judging by the ‘woe is me’ look on your face, I’m guessing this is to do with Ariana.”

“And what if it is? What business is it of yours?”

“You know what? You’re right! I couldn’t give a monkey’s ass about whatever is going on with you and the princess. Thought you could use an ear to bend. Guess I was wrong.” She hops up. “I’m out of here.”

“Wait,” I call out when she’s taken four or five steps. “Don’t go.”

She turns slowly, surveys my face, and then sits down on the bench. I’m not sure why I recalled her, but now that she’s here, I feel a flagrant urge to unload. Maybe telling someone who isn’t a member of Ariana’s fan club will add some perspective. If anyone understands the situation, it’s Isla. She’s the other side of this coin.

I pick myself up off the floor and sit down beside her. I relay a quick overview of what transpired between Ariana and me.

“Okay,” she says, when I’ve finished talking, “You’re pissed because she shared a few kisses with Zane?”

Her flippant tone annoys me. “Don’t tell me I’m overreacting because I’m not. She’s my fiancée, she’s wearing my ring, and that’s supposed to signify commitment to me.” My fists clench in my lap.

“Hey,” she says, fingering my arm, “I’m not saying that. You have every right to be angry with her. But I think you need to put it into perspective.”

“What exactly do you mean by that?” I lean forward on my knees.

“It’s like I said before, those two share an intense connection and they have considerable history. She shouldn’t be running around kissing him when she’s with you but she’s chosen you.” She jabs her finger into my chest. “I know she’s told Zane it’s over, so shouldn’t you focus on that instead and just let bygones be bygones?”

“You make it sound so simple,” I say, jiggling my knee. “It’s not that easy to switch off my emotions. She has ripped my heart to pieces.” Isla rolls her eyes to the ceiling and I scowl. “How can I believe that she truly loves me especially when that’s never made sense?”

“I don’t know what kind of baggage you’re carrying around, Cal, but I can tell you that she was dreadfully upset in Clementia the whole time you were gone. Look,” she says, holding her hands up, “It’s no secret that I’m not her biggest fan, but even I can tell that she cares deeply for you. She carried this picture of the two of you with her all the time, and Zane told me that she constantly defended you in front of the War Council, even when they taunted her. And I’ve seen how she is with you. There’s no way she’s faking it, she’s not that good of an actress.” She snorts and I shoot her a filthy look.

She composes herself. “The issues I had with Zane and Ariana were always more to do with him than her. I know now that there was never any possibility of a future for me and Zane other than friendship, but I didn’t realize that back then. She was never my competition. Just like Zane isn’t yours now.”

I can’t deny that her words affect me positively, but they still don’t replace the chunk that’s missing from my heart.

“How can I trust her? Accept that this time she’s telling me the truth?” I ask the one question that has most confused me these last few hours. Because in a nutshell, that is what this boils down to.

“Only you can determine that for yourself,” she says, standing. “But she has chosen to turn her back on the connection she has with Zane and that is pretty epic. It seems like everyone has accepted that her and Zane are no more, except for you. You need to ask yourself why that is.”

She walks away, leaving me alone with my jumbled thoughts.

The next two weeks pass by in a haze. I speak to Dad about Deacon, and while he doesn’t outright agree, he has at least decided to hold off on pressuring Commander Skyee for the time being. Mel wanders around like the walking wounded, but she’s retreated into herself, and she won’t tell me what’s wrong. Jaden spends most of his time with Ruby, and I’m glad that at least outwardly he seems to be looking out for the girl.

I’m assigned to work with Dad on the baseline attack plan for Novo and it’s a welcome distraction. The more time I spend with him, the more I realize how hard he is trying to change, and the dynamic of our relationship is improving. If there’s anything good to have come out of this war, that’s definitely it.

I refuse to sit at the same table as Zane in the cafeteria so Mel and I usually eat on our own. Ben takes it in turns, and I know it frustrates him that he’s split between both of us. Despite his many protests, I refuse to wave any white flag.

I’m lying on my bed, scrolling through some reports that Dad gave me to study when the door to our apartment glides open. Ben steps in, followed by Zane. Heckles instantly raised, I slide off the bed and stand with my legs outstretched, my arms folded around my waist. “What’s going on, Ben?” I studiously ignore Zane.

“You two need to talk. Clear the air.”

“The hell we do.” I spit the words out of my mouth.

“We’re not children anymore, Cal,” Ben says. “And this has gone on long enough.”

He turns and walks toward the door. “I’ll leave you to talk in private.”

We stand facing each other for a couple of minutes, neither of us speaking. “May I?” Zane asks, gesturing toward one of the chairs.

I wave my hand dismissively. Dragging two chairs out, he sits down on one and looks at me expectantly. I scrub a hand over my jaw and sit down. “Isn’t this cozy?”

When in doubt, joke.

“Look,” he says, his lips puckering, “I’m only here for her.”

I snort. “She asked you to come speak to me?”

He shakes his head. “No. We’re rarely in contact anymore.” A muscle thrums in his jaw.

“Then why are you here?” I level a flat stare at him.

“Someone has to knock sense into that thick skull of yours.” I rub my middle finger up and down my nose and the corner of his mouth twitches. “Look, I get that you don’t like me and you’re peeved that I kissed her behind your back.”

I slam forward in my seat, my nose inches from his. “Peeved? Are you for fucking real? That doesn’t even begin to sum up how I feel about the fact that you were kissing my fiancée and trying to wheedle her out of my arms. The two of you must have had a good ole laugh behind my back.” I slump back in my seat, hurt replacing my anger.

“That’s not it at all.”

“No? Then tell me, why are you here?”

“Because I care about Ari and I want to see her happy. Being with you is what makes her happy, and you are throwing it all away, you damn fool!” His knee jigs up and down.

I stare at him stunned. Is this guy on the level?

“I know it’s unusual,” he adds, rubbing a palm across his chest, “But this whole situation is abnormal. She fell in love with you without knowing about her feelings for me. She’s been forced to cope with the supposed death of her father and then had to watch helplessly as her mom was killed. When her memories returned, she had to relive the horror of what’d happened with Siva, and on top of that, she’s pregnant and dealing with all that entails. It’s a lot to take in. She was totally confused and she made mistakes. Mistakes that have hurt all three of us. But I’ve known her longer than you have, and she is inherently good, inside and out. I know she didn’t intentionally set out to hurt either one of us.” He cracks his knuckles and slouches in the chair.

“I know she didn’t do this deliberately. That isn’t the issue. It’s whether I can forgive and forget.” I stretch my legs out to the side.

“That, I understand,” he says. I arch a brow. “It hasn’t been easy for me on the sidelines watching as the girl I adore falls in love with someone else. I still don’t know if I can forgive her for throwing all that we had away. But what I do know is that I’ll find a way to live with it because of how much I love her.” I notice the taut curve of his jaw, and it’s obvious how much he’s hurting. My hardened heart softens a little.

“I want her to be happy more than anything because she deserves it and because I love her. She wants you,” he says, prodding a finger in my chest, “yet you continue to push her away. You’re hurt—I get that—we’re all hurt, but you need to man up, buddy.”

He stands and I rise too. “If you can’t get over yourself to provide her with the love and support she needs, then you’re a bigger idiot than I thought, and you truly don’t deserve her.”

With those powerful parting words ringing in my ears, he leaves. I slink down into the chair as my brain attempts to decipher all that’s been said.

A few hours later, muscles corded with tension, I know what I need to do.

PART IV – ARIANA

CHAPTER 21

The view from the olive grove is breath stealing. No matter how often I sit here overlooking the terrain below, I’m always blown away by the beauty of the scenery. It really is picture-postcard-perfect—if you ignore the razed lower part of the island. Lucky for Kos that Aggie received an early warning vision and managed to get everyone to higher ground before the floods swept half the island away.

Footsteps echo behind me and my heart rate soars in anticipation. Turning around, I try to mask my obvious disappointment as I spot Taylor and Xander advancing. I’ve been jittery as hell these last couple of weeks. Every time I hear approaching footsteps, I jump to the illogical conclusion that it’s Cal. And every damn time, I have to revive my broken heart.

That I’ve managed to lose both of them is no one’s fault but my own, and I deserve every sliver of heartache I feel.

I’d been so sure that he would come after me, once he’d had time to calm down. Each passing day chips away at my hope until there’s barely a shred left.

It was obviously the final nail in the coffin. And I don’t blame him. The sheer force of his pain had been clearly visible in his eyes that last day back in Louisiana. I’ve hurt him too many times. I’ve kept so much hidden that he doesn’t believe a word that comes out of my mouth anymore. Ironic that just as I sort out my muddled emotions, and finally speak the truth, all he hears are the lies.

“Sup, girl,” T says, sliding down beside me.

“Nothing much, doc.” A stray strand of hair blows across my face in the early evening breeze.

“You sit here so often I’m surprised you haven’t taken root,” Xander jests, sitting down and brushing the errant hair behind my ear.

“It’s amazingly beautiful here. It will be hard saying goodbye,” I admit, stretching my legs out in front of me.

“I know what you mean. The remoteness makes it easy to pretend that what’s happening out there,” Xander says, with a flourishing sweep of his arm, “is all an illusion.”

“Think we’re about to get a reality check,” T acknowledges. “Are you sure you’re ready to leave?” He sprawls out flat on his back.

Lifting my head, I stare up at the fading light. “Yeah. Couple more days and my training is done. No point in delaying the inevitable.” Of course, I don’t admit that I’m more than eager to head back to HQ, as I desperately need to speak to Cal and see if there’s anything I can say or do to change his mind.

The next morning, Aggie and I travel in the backseat of Aldo’s tiny car to the beach. My trusty bodyguard hunches over in the front seat, his knees bouncing off the ceiling. I chuckle to myself. Having Xander here has been truly great. We’re helping each other come to terms with our grief. I didn’t know his twin brother Riga all that well, and he never had the chance to meet Mom, but we both understand the void that occupies a chunk in our hearts. Through Xander’s memories, I’m learning more about his brother, and he is hearing all about Mom. Even a few weeks ago, I didn’t believe I could ever sit and talk about her without the chainsaw-slicing pain in my chest. Funnily enough, talking about her actually helps.

Xander places careful arms underneath Aggie’s frame and lifts her gently from the car. I hand her walking stick over, and we amble in companionable silence to the beach.

“Focus your mind, Γλυκιά μία, and empty your emotions,” Aggie says, as I sit cross-legged on the sand in front of her. The one major takeaway from my time here is that if I’m to have any chance of utilizing my gifts to aid the revolutionary effort, then I need to rein in my emotions. Creating a blank canvas to allow my psychic abilities to flow through me is a skill I need to practice on a daily basis, especially considering I’m naturally prone to emotional outbursts and my pregnancy hormones often mean I’m moody as hell. Add in a seriously messed-up love life and channeling emotional calmness and stability seems like an insurmountable goal. But my determination to prove my worth overrides everything else, and I’ve worked damn hard to try to quiet my mind.

Aggie has given me all the tools I need to excel. Now, it’s all practice, practice, practice. Having mastered the ability to control my physical environment, the real challenge has been molding my visions in a way that enables me to use them to predict future events. It’s still a bit hit or miss, but there isn’t anything else that Aggie can do to guide me. It’s all on me from here on.

Emptying my mind, I sweep away all my emotions. Listening to the steady inhale and exhale of my lungs and the gentle whooshing sound of the sea soothes my frazzled brain. Calming quiet settles in my head and I feel at ease. Stretching my mind out, I reach with imaginary arms for any recognizable image. Spotting a familiar, hostile face among the myriad of images floating through my skull, I batten down my emotions and grab the vision to the forefront of my mind.

Micha and Zolt are arguing furiously in the center of a living room. Beige-colored walls surround the purple contrast wall, which rests behind a long, low brown couch. A black screen is secured to the far wall, the image frozen on the government seal. “I can’t support you with this, Micha. Enough is enough. It’s time to let it go,” Zolt says.

“You were always a pathetic, spineless excuse of a man,” she replies. “But I don’t expect you to understand. He was my son. MINE. And she took him away from me. Now I have nothing. She will pay, even if it’s the last thing I do.”

“You need serious help, Micha. Look around you,” Zolt gestures with his hands. “The world is on the brink of full-scale war and all you can think about is that girl? The woman I married would never have allowed herself to become derailed like this.” Micha’s hand whips across Zolt’s face and he stumbles back. “If you walk out that door, there is no coming back. You’re on your own.”

“What’s there to come back for anyway?” she says, grabbing a large, black bag by her feet. “Everything I care about has already been taken from me.” She slams the door shut in his face.

The vision fades out and I slump sideways. Xander lunges forward and tugs me against his chest, his solid form steadying me. “That is the woman, yes?” Aggie says. I nod. “Then you must go.”

Xander’s brow is creased as he looks between us. “Care to explain to the non-gifted?”

“I had a vision of Micha Kloon and her husband Zolt Rada. They were arguing. She appears to be rather unhinged.” I bite down on my lip and titter with nerves before quickly composing myself under the glare of Aggie’s scary stare. No emotion, Ari, I caution myself. “She is hell-bent on exacting her revenge on me and he seems to have washed his hands of her.”

“Any fix on her location?” Xander asks, ever the protector.

“Actually, it looked like they were on Novo, but I could be mistaken. I only saw the inside of the house, but the interiors were typical of Novo design.”

“I’ll ask Aldo to make contact with your dad and see when we have a window to leave.” He hauls himself up, extending his arm.

I face the ocean while he attends to Aggie. I move my arms in sweeping motions and whip up the sea into a row of raised peaks. Channeling my inner drama queen, I leap from foot to foot and contort the water until the peaks surge and then crash, spraying all of us with a light mist of seawater. I squeal gleefully as droplets of water coat my skin and my clothes.

“Showoff,” Xander mumbles, mock punching me in the arm.

Spinning around, I grin smugly. “It’s my new party trick. It’ll never get old!”

“For you, maybe,” he says, wiping water off his arms and shaking damp jet-black hair out of his eyes. A half-scowl distorts his expressive lips.

“You’re such a wuss. It’s only water. We can walk back from the village square and you’ll be dry before we reach the house.”

I pick up some honey, figs, and yogurt in the small village square on our way back. The locals all wave as we pass, and a lovely warmth seeps into my bones. I’ll really miss it when it’s time to leave, especially the sense of community and the welcoming way in which I’ve been accepted with open arms. As much as I hate to admit it, Dad did the right thing banishing me here.

I’m not the same person that I was when I arrived.

The isolation of my surroundings and the impending birth of my baby has forced me to grow up: To pull on my big-girl panties and accept the reality of my life; to take responsibility for the things I’ve done that have hurt me and others; and to get over all the ways in which I feel I’ve been wronged.

Letting Zane go was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.

But it was right.

I can’t continue to hide behind his shirttails. It’s time to stand on my own two feet and face the consequences of my actions head on. All those years I daydreamed of a future with him never realizing that our relationship was doomed before it even had a chance. All because of one day. One split-second decision.

And I’d told Zane the truth. It’s all I can see when I look at him now, and for both our sakes, we need to move on.

And then there’s Cal. My heart flutters wildly in my chest at the mere thought of him. Before, I couldn’t fully see how perfect he is for me. How he always knows when to rein me in and when to let me be. My protector and my liberator. I may not share a unique psychic bond with him, but our connection runs deep all the same, a special pull that draws us to one another.

Although I’ve finally made my peace with it all, I fear it’s come too late.

“What are you planning?” Xander asks, dragging me into the present. He points at the bag of goodies in my hand as we walk up the uneven, narrow cobblestone path toward Aggie’s house.

“Dessert tonight. Roasted figs with honey, almond, and yogurt.”

“Yum. Drooling already,” Xander says, licking his dry lips. “What’s the occasion?”

I suppose I could say nothing, but that wouldn’t be the truth. And I’ve pledged to be more honest in every aspect of my life. “It’s my eighteenth birthday, today,” I reluctantly admit.

“Get out!” He drapes his arm over my shoulder and levels a look at me. “Why didn’t you say anything before?”

“It’s not that big of a deal.” I shrug casually.

“The hell it isn’t! There’s not much to celebrate in the world right now, so we should grab any reason we can to throw a party.”

“No party,” I say firmly, pinning him with one of my trademark special looks. He pouts. “I mean it. Promise me. I don’t want any fuss.”

“You should at least have a cake.”

“My culinary skills just about stretch to figs and yogurt. That’ll do. No fuss,” I warn, drilling a finger into this chest. “Or you’re dead!”

I’m immediately suspicious when T practically locks me in my bedroom that night with strict instructions to have a bath and make myself presentable. I scowl at him as I vocalize loud protests, but he won’t tell me what’s going on, if anything. If they’ve organized a party, I swear, I’m going to sweep one or both of them out into the ocean for a nice icy bath. Ha! Let’s see how they deal with that. I deplore being the center of attention, and if they’ve done anything that requires me to pander to the masses tonight, I’ll swing for them.

Perched on the edge of the tub, while I stare numbly at the steady stream of water trickling out the faucets, I can’t stop my mind wandering. There was a time when I used to think that eighteen was ancient. Now that I’ve reached this particular milestone, it still feels awfully young. Though, when I contemplate all that this eighteen-year-old has experienced in the last six months alone, it feels more than ancient.

I ease myself down into the warm bath, my over-long hair dipping into the water and plastering to my skin. My hands gravitate to my swollen belly, and I lovingly caress my burgeoning baby bump. T seems pretty certain that I’m having twins, but we’ll know for sure once I get back to Saoirse HQ. I remember how hard it was to wrap my head around my pregnancy when I first found out, but I’ve fully embraced it now, and the fact that there might be two babies inside me fills me with tremendous joy. I can readily recall the moment everything changed.

I was here about three weeks when I felt the first little kick. It was the most profound thing I’ve ever experienced. Without warning, it hit me like a giant thunderbolt that Cal and I have created this precious new life, and I’m nurturing and growing it inside of me. Nothing can be more life changing than that. More importantly, I’ve had an abundance of time to think about my impending motherhood, and strangely, it’s helped me deal with my feelings about what happened with Siva.

Huge guilt still festers inside me but I can’t change the past. Zane and Cal are right about that. He forced me to take matters into my own hands that day, as a consequence of his actions. I was wrong to conceal the truth though my motivations were selfless. I can’t undo that now. Instead, I need to make amends so I can fully draw a line in the sand. When things have righted themselves with the world, I will find some way of giving back to the community in his name.

Sitting on the bed, I’m toweling myself dry when I become aware of a flurry of whispered voices outside my door. “Are you almost ready, Ariana?” T calls out, as I detect the distinct sounds of scuffling. What on earth are they doing out there?

“I’ll be out in ten minutes,” I reply, though now I feel like hiding away in here for the night.

“I have something here for you to wear. Can I come in for a minute?” T asks. More sounds of scuffling and whispered arguing.

Wrapping the towel firmly around me, I pad to the door and whip it open just as the drone of retreating footsteps reaches my ears. I tip forward to see what’s going on, but Taylor blocks the door with his large body and pushes me firmly back into the room.

“Ew, outta my personal space, buddy.” I shove his chest with my hands. He slams the door shut with his boot.

“We got you a present,” he says, handing a bundle to me wrapped in pink tissue paper. “A pretty girl has to have a pretty dress to wear on her eighteenth birthday.”

Tears well in my eyes at such a thoughtful gesture. I remove the packaging carefully and suck in a sharp breath as I unfold the beautiful knee-length empire line dress. It’s pastel-pink-colored chiffon with tiny purple, cerise pink, and white butterflies dotted all over the material. A large frill edges the dress at the bottom and delicate straps wrap around the top of the dress, crisscrossing at the back. It’s exquisite and I’m sure my mouth is hanging open.

There is no way they found something like this on the island. They must’ve had this planned for weeks. My heart swells to bursting point and my emotions are in shreds. If Aggie is sensing this from outside, she’ll be disgusted with me. My eyes are glossy as I look at T’s sweet face.

“You like it, right?” he asks unsurely, his arm sneaking around my waist.

“Eh, duh!” I half-laugh, half-cry. “You guys knew this whole time?” I perch my chin on his shoulder.

“Something like that. Now get your pretty little butt into it.” His hand stalls on the door handle and he glances over his shoulder. “Dinner will be ready in ten minutes. Don’t be late. Some of us are a little bit impatient.” His voice raises an octave at the last part. He barrels out of the door before I can question him further.

The dress fits me like a glove, and it feels so damn good to be wearing something that not only looks good but fits me properly as well. My hair has already started to air-dry and it falls in natural waves down my back. Rummaging around in my cosmetics bag, I find a wand of mascara, some pink blush, and a tube of light pink gloss. After I apply my makeup, I stand back and survey my reflection. I barely recognize the girl who stares back at me. I look healthy and happy, and I positively glow from the inside out. Pregnancy really suits me. Who would’ve thought it?

The sounds of renewed arguing outside my door tickle my eardrums and natural curiosity gets the better of me. Slipping my feet into flip-flops, I march toward the door and fling it open.

Sparkling blue eyes lock on mine before tracing the length of my body. I think I’ve lost the ability to speak. He steps toward me, eyes blazing with hunger, and a crazy surge of desire floods every inch of my body.

I sway unsteadily on my feet, and he slings an arm around my waist, reeling me into him. “Happy Birthday, baby,” Cal says.

CHAPTER 22

A messy ball of emotion works its way up my throat. I’ve worked tirelessly these last two weeks to keep an ironclad lock on my feelings. The dam breaks explosively. Unrestrained sobbing shatters the silence as I break down uncontrollably. It’s far from pretty; in fact, it’s downright ugly.

The two guys standing behind Cal back away as if I’ve just pointed a loaded gun at their heads. They trade petrified looks as they retreat. Nothing like a bout of hysterical female crying to clear a room.

“We need a minute,” Cal says.

“Sheesh, man, take all the time you need,” a clearly terrorized T says.

Cal flattens a hand over my hair and maneuvers me into the room, slamming the door shut behind him. Pulling me onto his lap, he wraps his arms around me, continuing to hold me while I cry it all out of my system. His fingers weave in and out of my hair and his hand trails delicately down my face as he whispers soothing words in my ear. Each caress reaches deep into my heart and soul, fortifying me with the strength of his tender love.

When the sobbing dies off, I pull back and look at him from under a fan of tear-drenched lashes. “We better get out there,” I sniffle, “T muttered something about impatience.”

“Actually, I think he was referring to me,” Cal says, scooping my hair up and moving it across one shoulder. He presses a light kiss to my clavicle, and I feel the pleasurable shiver from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. “I was waiting out there for thirty minutes and it almost frigging killed me. I was ready to go all Rambo on you,” he says, in between planting soft kisses on my skin in a scorching hot trail from my neck to my collarbone and back up again.

Air hitches in my throat and it’s a wonder I can force any words out of my mouth. “You’re here,” I rasp. Yeah, not my most original or intelligent statement. But honestly? The feel of his hot, wet mouth worshipping my skin has rendered my brain the equivalent of jello.

He chuckles and his warm breath skates over my skin causing an intense shiver to take hold of my entire body. I jerk in his lap and he stares up at me smugly. “The one and only,” he says, lifting my hand to his lips, “In the flesh.”

“Why?” I blurt out. Stupid brain. Stupid mouth.

“I love you,” he says, all hint of playfulness gone from his tone. He cups my face and his eyes draw me to him. “I forgive you.” Three more perfect words could not have been spoken.

“Seriously?” I whisper, wondering if I’ve somehow conjured my dream into reality.

“Yes.” He kisses me sweetly and my heart does little somersaults in my chest. “We have lots to talk about, but I think we should eat first. Come on,” he says, lifting me off his lap. “By the way,” he adds, looking me up and down, “You look good enough to eat.” He pinches my butt and winks. Heat instantly floods my cheeks. His lips tug my earlobe as he whispers, “Sign me up for the tasting menu later.” There isn’t a part of my body that doesn’t quake with excitement, and I have to mentally caution myself to calm it. I’ll give Aggie a coronary with the emotions I’m emitting tonight.

“You brought me this?” I ask, awareness speedily joining the dots in my brain.

“Yes,” he says, nuzzling my neck. “You said you didn’t have many clothes that fit so I got some items made for you. Um,” he says, looking at me strangely, “Erin made them for you.”

Wait? What? “Erin? As in Zane’s mom?” He nods. “She’s alive?” Eh, duh, Ariana, of course, she’s alive, unless she can whip out her sewing machine in ghostly form.

“Yeah. She’s been at the compound with Eli for a few weeks now. She was working in the textiles factory in New York, and she managed to pilfer some supplies before she left. I have other stuff for you in my bag. She says hi and she can’t wait to see you.”

“Wow. I’m so glad that they are both okay.” My heart skips a beat. That Zane’s mom has come back into this life at just the right time is more than amazing. I’m so happy she’s there to look after him. It helps ease the gnarling guilt that churns in the pit of my stomach whenever I think of Zane.

I gasp as we walk outside and I survey the twinkling lights hanging off the awning and innumerable lit candles lining the perimeter of the floor. Notes of lavender and apple blossom waft in the air from the small vase of flowers perched in the center of the table. Cal holds out a chair and I slide into it as gracefully as I can. Not an easy feat when you have a baby bump the size of a small planet.

T places a plate of fish and salad in front of me and hands the same to Cal. Conversation is minimal as everyone wolfs it down. After our figs and yogurt dessert, Xander produces a small white-iced cake and a bottle of bubbles. T ignores my concerns, permitting me a small half-measure, and I chink glasses with my friends and accept their heartfelt congratulations. “Where did you rustle up the cake at such short notice?” I ask, in between mouthfuls of delicious, soft, lemony sponge.

“I baked it for you,” Xander says.

I drop my fork. “You did?” My voice comes out shaky, and Xander and T both look nervously at me. I half-choke on a laugh before composing myself. No sense in scaring the guys twice in one night. Pushing back my chair, I get up and hug him. “Thank you.”

“Hey, where’s my hug?” T says, puffing indignantly. “I made your dinner!” I scoot around to his side and hug him too. Strong emotion drips off T in waves and my heart melts. There’s no doubt that we’ve grown close these last few months, and he has opened up to me in the same way I’ve confided in him. Layers of emotional depth hide behind that pretty-boy charisma and cheeky charm. This is one friendship I suspect will last the test of time.

“Okaaaay,” Cal says, “I think you got a lifetime of hugs there. Time to let go, buddy.”

“See you haven’t lost that jealous streak, Remus,” T teases, patting my butt as I walk away. I jump and throw a filthy look over my shoulder.

“And I haven’t lost my mean left hook either,” Cal retorts.

“Behave, boys,” I say, pulling out my chair. Cal hooks an arm across my back and flips me onto his lap, pushing his chair out to the side.

“Tsk, tsk,” Aggie says, in her strange accented voice. “Here, Γλυκιά μία, open your present.”

I unfold the small white bundle and stretch it out lengthways in front of me. It’s a beautiful long hand-made lace shawl. “It’s exquisite. I love it. Thank you so much, Aggie.” Swiping the solitary tear away before Xander and T run screaming into the night, I hug her gently.

“You will wear it tomorrow,” she commands, leaning on her walking stick and attempting to rise. Um, okay, I think I’ll be a little overdressed but anything to keep her happy. All three guys move to stand but I wave them away dismissively. After she has bid them goodnight, I help her into her room and quietly close the door on my way out.

Cal snags me onto his lap again, and I happily sink back against his warm, solid chest, my happy place buzzing with contentment. “Thanks for tonight, guys. All this,” I say, gesturing toward the table, “and the presents. It means so much to me.” A pink flush blooms in my cheeks as I lift my drink to my lips.

“I’ll give you your present in private,” Cal says, in a rich seductive tone. I almost choke on my glass of water. “Taylor?” Cal asks, shooting a look his way. “What’s the lowdown on sex during pregnancy?” I spit my water all over the table and the three guys guffaw loudly.

I twist around in his lap and glare at him. “I’ll give you the lowdown,” I say, dabbing a napkin against my wet face. “There won’t be any!” I stab my finger into his chest, meeting a solid wall of muscular resistance. My eyes transfix on his lick-able chest and abs. So not helping. Stop looking.

“Ah, baby. You’ve got a bun in the oven,” he says, gently patting my stomach. “I think the guys know you’re no longer a virgin.” I swat his hand away and glare at him. “And,” he says, tickling me under the arms—I squirm in his lap—“you know I love a good challenge.” His hand rubs up and down my arm and tiny goose bumps spring alive on my bare flesh.

“Ew, Cal. Audience?” Dragging my gaze away from his delectable bod, I look back at T and Xander who stare at me amusedly. “I think I might actually die from embarrassment,” I admit.

“Not medically possible, Ari,” T says. “But you’ve a green light, bro,” he says, giving Cal a thumbs-up, “And I hear the pregnant chicks go wild for it.”

“Oh my God!” I hop up, skin flaming. “I’m done with this conversation. Goodnight.” Covering my face with my hands, I head toward my room, their loud laughter following me as I walk.

I’m struggling to pull my dress over my head when Cal steps into the room. There’s a low thud as his bag drops on the ground. Crossing the floor, he wordlessly helps untangle me from the dress, carefully draping it over the arm of the chair. Resisting the urge to cross my arms over my naked chest, I force my self-consciousness aside and grab the plain gray T-shirt from under my pillow, tugging it on in record time. Cal clears his throat behind me. “Whose shirt is that?”

I look down at the oversized gray shirt. “It’s an old one of T’s.” Cal’s face contorts as if he’s just swallowed something bitter. “I didn’t have anything else to wear,” I explain quickly. “And I didn’t think it was a good idea to sleep semi-naked when there was a guy in the house.”

He purses his lips. “That makes sense,” he says, schooling his features into a neutral line. “But you’re taking it off.” My mouth falls open as he turns and rummages in his bag. “Here,” he says, throwing me a large red T-shirt with “I don’t bite” written in black letters on the front. “You can wear this.” Smothering a nervous giggle, I pull T’s shirt up by the hem and whip it off. Stormy blue eyes lock on mine as he whistles low on his breath. “You’re so beautiful.”

The look on his face causes the worst case of internal shivering. My body jerks as if it’s a mind of its own. I shimmy his shirt on over my head. Focus! “We need to talk first.”

“I like my shirt on you,” he growls. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed you, Ariana,” he adds, closing the gap between us. His hot mouth lands on mine, and I melt into him, feeling every touch of his lips brand me deep inside. My resolve flies out the window. My fingers clutch the silky strands at the nape of his neck, and I tug him closer, pressing into him as much as I can with a balloon-sized obstacle in the way. My need for him—all of him—builds in intensity, and I’m touching him everywhere, only short of crawling all over him like a little spider monkey. Talking’s overrated anyway.

He breaks the embrace first. “You’re right. Talk first,” he says in a breathless voice.

“Screw talking,” I rasp, planting my lips on his as my hands clamp down on his ass.

His hands wrap around mine and he pulls them away, chuckling. “I think Taylor may be onto something with his ‘wild pregnant chick’ assessment.”

Struggling to contain my erratic breathing, I shoot him my best death glare pout. It’s a feeble attempt at best considering the crazy surge of desire that’s swamping every facet of my being.

“I’ll be out in a second,” Cal says, heading into the bathroom with his bag. I tug a comb through my hair and peel back the bedcovers, sliding into the comfy double bed.

When he comes back into the room, he’s only wearing a pair of plain black boxers, and I have to avert my gaze before I assert the “wild pregnant chick” comment. The bed dips as he slides in beside me. “Come here,” he demands, laying his arm out flat. I nestle in close to his side as his arm fastens around my waist.

“I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to come to my senses, but I needed to work through it all, and it wasn’t something I could rush,” he explains.

“I don’t care about that now,” I say, sitting up and twisting around so I’m facing him. “Have you really forgiven me? Can we truly put it in the past?”

“Yes and yes,” he says, tugging on a lock of my hair. “You mean more to me than anything in this world. I was so hurt that I couldn’t see the glaring truth. Ironically, it was Zane who got through to me,” he admits, through hooded eyes.

“You guys talked about it?” My eyes widen in surprise.

“Yeah.” He kisses me softly and I inwardly swoon. “I know you didn’t intentionally set out to hurt me, and I understand that you’ve been dealing with a lot of heavy stuff. You’ve chosen to turn your back on your connection with him for me and that speaks volumes. That’s all that matters. That you’ve decided on your future and it’s with me. I’m all yours if you still want me.”

Love lights up his eyes and my heart feels ready to fly out of my chest. I feel so blessed. I thought I’d mucked everything up, but I’ve been given another chance, and I’m not going to waste the opportunity to claim the future I want. One I couldn’t have predicted even this time a year ago. But I know my own mind and this is my destiny.

I sit up and tuck my legs underneath me. “Sit up with me,” I implore, pulling on his arm. I have to be facing him as an equal when I say what I’m about to say. A swarm of nerves floods my belly, but I focus on leveling my emotions and keeping calm. He’s looking at me strangely. “Cal,” I say, cupping his jaw tenderly. “I love you more than life itself, and I want to connect with you in every way possible.” I gulp. Stop being such a chicken. Spit the words out! “More than anything I want to be your wife. Will you marry me?”

He sucks in a sharp gasp and his eyes scan my face. “Do you mean it?” he whispers.

Leaning forward, I press my lips to his. “I love you now and forever, and I can think of no better way to show you how much I mean that.”

He pauses considerably and sheer terror flares in my eyes. When he looks at me, his pained expression pierces me straight through the heart. “You don’t want that anymore?”

“That’s not it.” He pulls at his lower lip. “You know I have this dark side …”

“What, like in Star Wars?” I joke.

He looks at me as if I’ve just sprouted horns or something. Of course, he has no clue what I’m referring to, not sharing my love of all things classic. “Never mind,” I mutter. “Feeble joke.” I reach over and take his hand in mine. “Everyone’s got a dark side. And isn’t that what real love is? Accepting each other for our faults as much as our strengths? I know you Cal Remus and I love every bit of you. We’ll travel the dark paths together.”

Wowzers. I’ve surprised even myself with the depth of that speech. When did I become so mature?

Blatant emotion shines from Cal’s eyes as he kisses me softly. “When?”

“I thought we could get married here before we leave? There’s this gorgeous little chapel up on the hill and—”

His lips silence me as he grabs me down onto the bed, our legs and arms tangling as we cling to each other. “Oh my God,” he says, in between hot kisses, “I love you.”

“You haven’t said yes yet,” I reply, when I find a gap to speak.

“Jesus, woman, this is me saying yes!”

My shirt comes off and I’m on fire with the intensity of my craving for him. This is only going one way. “Wait,” I say, pushing his chest firmly. “It’s bad luck to sleep together before our wedding.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“Do I look like I’m kidding?” I do my best to plaster a serious expression on my face. It’s rather difficult when my frantic breathing thrusts my inflated boobs up and down on my chest.

“Ah, hell,” Cal says, rolling over onto his stomach and burying his head in the pillow. “Where will I sleep? Xander’s on the couch, and there’s no way I’m offering to be his snuggle bunny for the night.”

“You can take the other couch.”

His head whips up, his hair mussed all over his face. “Damn, you are serious.”

“Deadly.”

“Great,” he says, sliding his legs out of the bed, “Not how I imagined this reunion,” he mutters.

I stand and wrap my arms around him from behind. “Once we’re married, we’ll have every night together after that.”

He stretches around to kiss me. “I love the sound of that.”

“So, you’ll sleep on the couch?”

“Sure. Right after I take a cold shower.”

I wake the next morning to a formidable little old lady hovering over my bed, a swatch of white material adorning her arm. Cal staggers in behind her, rubbing a hand through sleepy eyes.

“Pants, then sit,” she instructs. He pulls on his black cargo pants and slinks over to the bed. Shunting over, I snuggle into his side, and he slings an arm around my back. “It’s all arranged. Here is your dress. Be at the chapel at five.”

“What?” I jump up on my knees. “Wait!” I call out as her hand clamps on the door handle. “How did you …?” It gradually dawns on me.

She taps a wizened finger to her temple and I grin. “Holy crap! You saw all this in a vision?” She smiles. “No fair, Aggie! You could have put me out of my misery.”

“And where is the fun in that?” she says, giggling as she walks out of the room, leaving us both wide-eyed and open-mouthed.

Cal and I go out for a run on the beach, and it almost feels like old times, except that the awe-inspiring ocean view replaces the fake, holographic woodland on Novo. Xander and T drag Cal off after breakfast, intent on sticking with tradition. I’m hardly in any position to complain considering I kicked my fiancé out of my bed last night. But I pout nonetheless.

The guys disappear all afternoon and I’m going out of my mind with boredom. I’m too wired emotionally to channel any psychic ability so I walk down to the olive grove and waste a couple of hours dozing in the sun. I stamp my feet in frustration when I arrive back at the house and Cal still isn’t there. Guess he’s taking the whole traditional thing seriously now.

I take a long leisurely bath, shave myself everywhere—which is an Olympic-worthy feat considering the ginormous bump that hinders my efforts—paint my nails, and slather scented body lotion over every inch of my skin. There’s no point trying to do much with my hair—humidity and frizzy hair go hand in hand—so I let it dry naturally and rub some scented oil through it instead. Applying a delicate layer of bronzer to my lightly freckled face, I brush mascara through my lashes and apply a coat of lip gloss. Removing the box from the secret inner panel of my bag, I extract my ring and slide it on my finger. Huge emotion clogs my throat as I run my finger lightly over the beautiful ruby and diamond ring that Cal gave me at the time of our engagement.

I sit down on the bed, enclosed in the pink robe that still miraculously stretches over my baby bump. All that’s left is to put on my dress and I’m ready for my trip down the altar.

Excitement skitters over my skin, and I feel no hint of nervousness because this feels so right. Squinting at my watch, I wish I had a fast-forward button, dying to skip to five o’clock so I can bind myself to Cal in the eyes of God. With a pang, I realize that Dad isn’t here to give me away. Hopefully, at some point, there will be an opportunity to formally celebrate our marriage and Dad will get to do the honors then. I hope he won’t be cross with me. Chewing on my lip, I force those thoughts aside, unwilling to allow anything to kill my happy buzz.

There’s a knock on the door and Cal pops his head into the room. My entire being swoons at my intended. He is so gorgeous, so perfect, and very soon, he will mine, as I will be his. Forever. I couldn’t be any happier if I tried. “Can I come in or will I earn the wrath of traditional wedding planners the world over?”

Though we’ve only been apart a few hours, I ache for him. “I’m seconds away from jumping you, so I’d suggest you get your butt in here now.”

He dashes into the room faster than The Flash. He is on me even quicker, his mouth possessively claiming mine.

“You two better not be doing what I think you’re doing in there,” T calls out in close proximity, and I shriek, pulling my lips back quickly. “You have two minutes to give her the gift and get your soon-to-be-married ass out of that room.”

“Bossy much?” I yell.

“You ain’t seen nothing, missy,” he retorts.

“What gift?” I ask, only cottoning on to that part now.

“This,” he says, handing me a slim, rectangular box. “I forgot to give it to you last night so now it’s a combined wedding and birthday present.”

I open the lid and lift out the delicate necklace. The chain holds a small, thin silver heart over-laced with a tiny smattering of sparkling diamonds. It’s stunning; just like the giver.

“It’s beautiful. Thank you. Can you help me put it on?” Lifting my hair, I give him access to my neck. His lips caress the skin at the nape of my neck, and it sends a jolt of pure liquid fire zinging through my veins.

He chuckles knowingly. “Wait ‘til I get you alone tonight,” he whispers, and a second jolt electrifies every nerve ending in my body.

“Hot damn. Will you cut that out? I think I’m going to spontaneously combust.”

“Hold onto that thought for later,” he says, laying my hair back down.

My fingers curl around the necklace as T calls out “thirty seconds!”

“It was my mom’s,” Cal says, his hand covering mine.

I look up and kiss him gently. “Now I love it even more. Thank you.”

“Twenty seconds!”

“Don’t be late,” he whispers against my lips. “I’ve waited long enough to call you my wife. I don’t want to wait a minute longer than I have to.”

“Ten seconds!”

“Deal, baby. A butt-load of flesh-eating zombies couldn’t make me late.” I kiss him one last time.

“Five seconds!”

Cal’s fists clench and he shoots a killer look at the door, as if his irritation can magically transfer through the wood and slap T in the face. “Please tell me I can hit him. Just one little punch?” Cal asks, standing up.

“No, Cal. Now go,” I say, shoving him toward the door. Cal reaches it just as T rips it open, ready to haul ass. “Back away, man. Seriously,” Cal says, stalking forward.

I hop up and do the only thing I can think of to calm him down. I plant an urgent, wet kiss on his mouth, and I keep my lips melded to his until his body curves into me. “Better?” I ask, easing out of his arms.

“Uh-huh,“he says, brushing his lips against my cheek. The whole time he eyeballs T with a devilish glint in his gaze and T starts shrinking back.

“Behave.” I nudge him gently in the ribs.

“See you at the altar.” He blows me a kiss as he backs away.

“I’ll be the one wearing white.”

I stand stock-still in front of the mirror, my skin flushed with excitement. Tilting my head, I examine the lace shawl pinned lightly at the side of my head, trailing down the length of my back. Aggie insisted. Apparently, it’s tradition around these parts. My wedding dress consists of a plain white full-length skirt with short frilled cap sleeves and a scooped neckline. It’s another empire line to flatter my expanding waistline. The material is light and it flows with the curves of my body as I walk. It’s simple chic and perfect for me, the setting, and the occasion.

T collects me twenty minutes later, and I spot a telltale sheen of moisture in his eyes. He’s having none of it though. “I have something in my eye.” Yeah, right.

Looping my arm tightly through his, he walks me the half-mile to the little whitewashed stone church. I rely heavily on T as we tackle the uphill stint the last three hundred yards. Fine beads of sweat trickle down my back and my breathing is exaggerated.

Perched on an elevated site at the highest point of the land, the church has an amazing view over the entire island from the back. As we ascend the three slate steps toward the little wooden door, a swarm of butterflies attacks my stomach and I feel queasy.

So much for not being nervous.

I rub my clammy hands on the side of T’s shirt, ignoring his outraged protests. “Well, I can hardly wipe them off on my dress.” I smirk, trying and failing to stifle my grin.

The door opens with a creak and my whole body trembles. T grips my arm and pats my hand. Xander and Aggie sit in the front pew. They turn and smile. Cal is standing at the top of the short aisle watching me intently. Wearing plain black pants and a crisp white shirt unbuttoned at the top, he looks classically handsome with his slicked-back hair and blue eyes sparkling with love. My sudden bout of butterflies evaporates on the spot, and I have to invoke considerable control to stop myself from sprinting into his arms.

T passes my arm to Cal when we reach the top of the church, and we turn and face one another, hands clasped tightly together. Eyes brimming with devotion latch on mine, and a wealth of emotion presses down on my chest. I can’t pull my eyes away from him even when the priest welcomes us and starts the ceremony. We grin at each other as he speaks in broken English, his thick accent often mispronouncing the words. When it’s time for our vows, we maintain eye contact the whole time, repeating each line after him.

“I, Cal, take you, Ariana, to be my wedded wife. To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health …” Cal clears his throat and when he speaks the next words, his voice is shaking, “‘til death do us part.”

Tears spill down my face as every word imprints on my heart. He didn’t just recite the vows. He spoke each one with passionate conviction, meaning every word, every sentiment.

“No crying, baby,” he says, smoothing a hand across my cheek.

I take a deep breath, compose myself, and state my vows. “I, Ariana, take you, Cal, to be my wedded husband. To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health. Until death do us part.”

His thumb works in circular patterns over our conjoined hands as his eyes remain superglued to my face. It’s as if we’re the only two people in the world as everything else fades into the background. We stare at each other, unblinking, letting the magnitude of our vows settle deep into our hearts and minds.

The priest coughs loudly and everyone laughs. Xander passes two rings to Cal and he slips a slim silver band onto my finger. “With this ring, I thee wed. Wear it as a symbol of our love and commitment.”

I place Cal’s ring on his finger and say, “With this ring, I thee wed. Wear it as a symbol of our love and commitment.”

Our fingers loop together and my chest surges with the depth of my feelings.

When the priest proclaims us man and wife, Cal doesn’t even wait for him to say you may now kiss your bride, swooping down in one swift motion and hauling me to him. As our mouths meld together, the love surging in my veins electrifies every place where our lips connect. My husband. My life.

Cal shows no signs of slowing down, so I try to ease back, conscious we are in the house of the Lord. He resists every attempt and I give up, entranced by the sweet taste of him.

“Get a room!” T says, his teasing eventually breaking the spell.

We pull apart, laughing. The others rise to congratulate us and we share hugs all round. My hand never strays from Cal’s. Not when we leave the church. Not as we walk down to the village. Not even when we enter the main tavern and are greeted by boisterous cheers from the little group who have gathered to celebrate with us.

We enjoy a fabulous meal, stuff our faces with wedding cake, and engage in the obligatory first dance as a local group of musicians serenade us with traditional Greek songs. I’m locked in Cal’s embrace, and his adoring gaze, as we sway to the music. “Happy?” he asks, reeling me in closer to him.

“I can’t remember a time when I’ve felt happier,” I admit, beaming up at my gorgeous husband. “Today’s been perfect. I wouldn’t change a thing.”

He dips his head and kisses me tenderly, and a slow burn ignites inside me. A few catcalls ring out from the crowd but I don’t care. “Do you think we’d get away with sneaking out now?” he whispers in my ear.

“Let’s give it a try,” I suggest without hesitation.

Half an hour later, and after copious teasing and innuendos from T and Xander, we finally manage to make our exit.

Cal has one more surprise lined up for me. Instead of heading back to Aggie’s, he brings me to the little wooden hut on the edge of the olive grove. The hut’s been cleared out and cleaned, and a large mattress, dressed in silky whites and covered in an abundance of fluffy cushions and pillows, occupies the floor space. Softly glowing lights hang from tiny woven baskets in the ceiling, and the scent of lavender lingers in the air.

“You’re amazing,” I say, tears brimming in my eyes again. “This day couldn’t have been any more special.”

“It’s about to get a whole lot more special. Brace yourself, Mrs. Remus,” he whispers, his fingers starting to unbutton the back of my dress. “I hope you got a good night’s sleep last night because you won’t be doing much sleeping tonight.”

He stays true to his promise, and we spend hours locked around one another, blissfully demonstrating our love for each other until the early morning sun starts to creep up the skyline.

I wake sometime after ten with my new husband wrapped around me like an octopus. “Morning, wifey,” a sleepy voice whispers in my ear, his internal alarm clock perfectly attuned to mine. Nuzzling into my neck, he plants a trail of feathery kisses all over my shoulder as his hands start wandering. It doesn’t take more than a nanosecond for my body to catch up.

“You guys decent?” T hollers from outside, and I whip the covers up over us with a shriek.

“Can I punch him now?” Cal asks, pulling myself upright as he scans the room for his clothes.

“No punching,” I say, admiring my husband in all his naked glory before he quickly wiggles into his pants.

“Stay there. I’ll be right out,” Cal shouts out. Dipping down, he kisses me passionately. “Don’t go anywhere. I haven’t had my fill of you yet.” He sneaks a hand under the covers and tweaks my upper thigh and I squeal. Tousling my hair, he plants a kiss on my forehead and steps out to talk to T.

I’m lying flat on the bed, cocooned in a dreamy bubble, when Cal comes back into the hut. I frown at his serious expression. “We’ll have to take a rain check. We need to leave now,” he says, handing me his old T-shirt. “You have an hour to get showered and packed.”

My skin prickles in alarm at the emotions dripping off him like sweat. “What’s wrong?”

“Micha’s been spotted in Europe. It’s too close for comfort. We’re going to head back to HQ today.”

Saying goodbye to Aggie was heart breaking because I don’t know when, or if, I’ll ever see her again. She promises to say goodbye to all my friends in the village on my behalf.

I’m folded in Cal’s arms as we slouch on the bench of the small cabin in Fedro’s boat. He fiddles with my hair as I stare out the tiny window. As the shape of Kos blurs in the distance, I say goodbye to the island I’ve come to call home. I’m sorry to have to leave behind the lifestyle I had there. Bidding a mental adieu to the serenity and tranquility of my previous existence, I steel my body and mind for the reality of what lies ahead.

CHAPTER 23

We slip our wedding bands in our pockets before we alight from the Velo in Saoirse HQ. There’s no sense in giving Dad heart failure on the spot.

Lily, Deacon, Dad, and Mel wait on the platform for us. Lily rushes me the second my foot hits solid ground. Attempting to fling her arms around me, she stops short when her reach only stretches halfway. Her eyes widen to saucers as she stares at my stomach. Cal explained that Dad already broke the news to my brother and sister, but I suppose it’s different seeing it in the flesh. She looks up at me gob-smacked.

“Are you sure you haven’t got a baby elephant in there?” Deacon poses the question. I know I’m abnormally big, and that I haven’t been opposed to laughing at my own expense, but all the teasing is starting to get to me. I sniffle as I glare at him.

Cal drapes an arm over my shoulder as he playfully pushes Deacon. “Hey, watch your mouth. That’s my baby momma you’re disrespecting. I think she looks gorgeous.” I couldn’t love my husband any more than I do in that moment. We smile at each other like the lovesick fools that we are.

“Ahem,” Dad says, forcing us apart.

Mel wraps herself around my neck, hugging me tightly. “It’s so great to have you back.”

“It’s good to be back,” I admit. As much as I hated leaving my idyllic existence behind in Greece, I’m glad to be back with my friends and family.

“Have you felt the baby kick yet?” Lily asks, as we walk arm in arm toward the living quarters.

“All the time! Here, give me your hand,” I say, grasping her hand and planting it on my stomach.

“Ohmigod!” she shrieks. “I felt that.” Dad looks over his shoulder at us, a pensive look on his face. “Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?” she asks, excitement peppering her tone.

“No.” I shake my head. “I’m having a scan some time later today. Maybe we’ll find out then.” Though, I’m not sure if I want to know the sex in advance and it isn’t anything we’ve discussed.

We reach our apartment first, and I usher everyone in, telling them we have some news to share. Once Cal dumps our bags, he walks to my side and takes my hand in his. We face my family and Mel and tell them we’re married. Lily squeals with joy and Mel grabs the two of us in a giant hug. Dad hangs back and Deacon just wrinkles his nose, wondering what all the fuss is about.

“Dad?” I say, stepping toward him, suddenly anxious.

He walks toward me until we’re toe to toe. He smiles warmly. “You’re happy, honey?” His eyes probe mine.

“Deliriously,” I admit.

“Well, then, I’m really pleased for you. It’s a welcome piece of good news, the like of which has been sorely lacking around here lately.” Drawing me to his chest, he envelops me in the warmth and comfort of his embrace.

He releases me and tousles my hair before walking over to Cal. My breath hitches in my throat. “Welcome to the family, son,” Dad says, extending his hand.

Powerful emotions jumble inside me as I watch my husband shake hands with my father. Dad claps him on the back. I understand how much it took to do that, and I’m overcome with joy. Deacon casually strolls over to Cal and raises his fist for a knuckle touch. “I suppose I have to call you bro now,” he chuckles, unaware of the undercurrent charging the air.

“I’d like that very much,” Cal says, his voice choked with emotion. I swipe a hand under my eyes and think of how disgusted Aggie would be at my potent inability to control my emotions. Then again, if you can’t get a bit weepy at the time of your marriage, there’s something wrong with the world.

One down, two to go, I think, as we walk with Mel to Commander Remus’ apartment. He takes the news rather well, and he seems genuinely happy for his son. Never comfortable with emotional moments, nonetheless, he finds it in himself to graciously embrace his son and new daughter-in-law. Jaden lounges on the bed, shaking his head. “Congratulate your brother,” Commander Remus says, motioning with his eyes. With great apparent effort, he hauls himself off the bed and walks toward us.

“Tying yourself down with a wife and baby at eighteen,” he says, slapping Cal on the back, “brave man, bro.” He winks at me, as if he’s just cracked the funniest joke ever.

Mel thumps him in the arm and scowls. “I’d wager I’m the happiest man on the planet right about now,” Cal says, refusing to rise to the bait. Jaden snorts and I squeeze Cal’s hand. I didn’t expect anything different from my new brother-in-law, and he sure as hell is not going to ruin our buzz.

I leave Cal back at our apartment to go in search of Zane. Cal had no issue with me tracking him down immediately, agreeing that it would be awful if he were to hear the news from anyone else.

I check the IT room first and Ben tells me he’s up on the observation deck. Deflecting a few more good-natured jokes leveled my way, I take the elevator to the top floor.

As I round the bend, I spot his stiff form on the floor. His head swivels in my direction when he hears my approaching footsteps. His gaze never leaves mine. Maneuvering down on the floor with all the grace of a sumo wrestler, I spot his eyes latching onto my belly. “Crack any form of joke about my size, and I swear to God, I’ll pitch you over the edge,” I say, gesturing behind me. I’m only half-joking.

His lips curve ever so slightly. “That bad, huh?”

“I think I’ve heard every bad joke there is,” I admit, cradling my arms around my tummy. I sneak a look at him, taking in the five o’clock shadow and bloodshot eyes. His clothes are loose in places where they used to be tight. He looks like crap. “How are you?”

“I’m good,” he replies, his face angled away from me. I know they’re mere words. Sensing his emotions, my head is a jumbled mess. “I know why you’re here.” I lift my head and scan his face. His eyes drop to my left hand. “Where’s your wedding ring?”

I suck in a sharp breath. Are you kidding me? How on earth could news have traveled that fast? “Who told you?”

He looks down at his feet, fiddling with the laces on his boots. “You let your shields drop about twenty minutes ago.”

I groan. Ah, crap. I’ve let my emotions turn me into a pile of useless mush. Aggie would be so disappointed in me. I have to pull it together. “Zane, I’m really sorry that you had to find out like that. I wanted to tell you myself, in person.”

He shrugs but pointedly doesn’t look at me. For once, I’m at a loss for words. Everything that comes to mind is either overused clichés or some form of apology. I know Zane wouldn’t want to be mollycoddled or pitied so I keep my lips firmly shut, figuring the silence is the lesser evil. Mentally greeting my fishy friends, I sit patiently by his side.

“There’s something I need to tell you,” he says, after a few minutes.

“Oh?” I tilt my head to the side.

“The President propositioned me.” My brows shoot up. “Not like that,” he says, a slight smile gracing his mouth. “He said he’d call Micha off if I agreed to return to Novo to work for him.”

“Did he now? I take it you flat-out refused.”

He nods unhappily. “Hey,” I say, my hand settling on his arm. “You know that was the right thing to do. And I’m fine. She didn’t get to me.”

“She’s still out there though.”

“She won’t get near me, and at some point, she’ll be found and Saoirse will deal with her.”

“I’ve been worried sick the last couple of weeks,” he admits.

“That’s why, out of the blue, you were checking in on me again? Why Dad didn’t want me to go back to Greece?” Now it makes sense.

“Yeah. We were both concerned even if you are more than equipped to deal with her. Didn’t stop us worrying though.”

“I understand, but you need to stop beating yourself up over it. I’m fine.” More than fine, but I don’t want to rub his nose in it.

“You’re happy?” he asks. His warm brown eyes drill into mine.

I’m not going to lie. “Yes.”

“Then I’m pleased for you. All I’ve ever wanted is for you to be happy so don’t ruin that by worrying about me. I’m fine,” he says, with a forced smile. “Besides, with the amount of work I’ve got on my desk, there’s isn’t time to think about anything else.”

“Catch me up,” I say, clinging gratefully to the neutral topic of conversation. “What have I missed?”

“I cracked the project,” he says, genuine excitement dancing in his eyes.

“No way!” I twist around and face him. “For real?”

“Yep. We did a test run with some of our aircraft yesterday, and we were able to hack into the cockpit and override the pilot’s control. I think Calista wants to marry me.” His smile fades out at his unfortunate word choice. Eek. It’s as if we’re tiptoeing on eggshells.

“Does that mean we’ll be advancing the plan to takeover Novo?” I ask, purposely choosing to ignore the elephant in the room.

“I think so. The Inner Council has called a full meeting at two p.m. I believe they intend to outline the latest strategy then. Speaking of which,” he says, stretching out his legs, “I need to be getting back.” He hops up, smoothing a hand over his rumpled shirt. The movement catches my attention, and my gaze fixates on his chest as he extends an arm to help me get up.

Anxiety races around the edge of my consciousness as I zone in on his heart. My breath comes out harsh and ragged. “Eh, Ari?” Zane asks, peering at me curiously.

Unsure of what exactly I’m seeing, I scratch the back of my neck as I look at him. “Um, Zane.” I bite down hard on my lip, struggling to find the right words to explain. “There’s something in your heart.”

His brow furrows and he pins me with a curious look. “What do you mean?”

“I’m not sure,” I admit, tucking my hair back behind my ears. “Can you take your shirt off?” Though my request is purely innocent, I feel the warmth as it spreads from my chest. He looks at me like I’m nuts but slowly unbuttons his shirt.

“May I?” I ask, lifting a hand over his bare chest. He nods, a muscle clicking in his jaw. Laying my hand over his heart, I immediately feel a rush of heat and a throbbing, pulsing movement. I plant my ear against his skin and feel the shudder of his body underneath me. Ignoring that, I close my eyes and concentrate.

My eyes open wide and I stumble back, horrified. “Zane!” My voice is barely louder than a whisper.

“What, Ari? What’s going on?” His hand wraps around my wrist as his eyes probe mine.

“I think there’s some form of listening or recording device embedded in your new heart.”

“What?” he yells, eyes widening in alarm. “Are you sure?”

“I’m one hundred percent certain there’s a foreign object locked inside your heart. I can’t say for definite how or what it’s been monitoring, but when I pressed my ear to your chest, I could hear a low drone of voices and words so it’s my best guess.”

Our eyes lock in shared understanding. “Damn,” he says, dragging his hands roughly through his hair. “I need to inform Calista. Conduct damage limitation.” He starts walking toward the elevator and I trail at his heels. “Goddamnit. Everyone was pointing the finger at Commander Remus and the whole time I was the source of the leak.” He pinches the bridge of his nose as we step inside the elevator.

“Don’t beat yourself up over it, Zane. How were you to know? I should have spotted it sooner.”

“You’ve discovered it now. That’s the main thing.”

We go to Command Center together, and I hover beside him as he updates Calista and my dad. They both look at me in awe, and I shift uncomfortably from foot to foot. This is not something to feel awed about. I know my gift has only expanded with the training I’ve received from Aggie, but if I’d been less preoccupied with my love life and less emotional, I might have spotted something wrong sooner. I can’t help but mentally punt-kick myself in the head.

Calista taps her pen off the top of the table as she thinks. “You’re off the project now, for obvious reasons, Zane.” He nods and my heart aches for him. This has been his baby for years so the unfairness of the whole situation sucks big time. “We need to try and determine our exposure. Think carefully, Zane. What could they have heard that might thwart our plans?”

Zane stands up in his chair and summons the digital board with a sweep of his hand. He raises a finger to his lips and starts writing out a list.

My head slumps on the table an hour in. It’s kind of funny watching a silent debate as the three of them use the board to dissect the risks. From what I can gather, the intel governing our ground bases and troop movements was totally compromised. Zane’s shoulders hunch over and I know he’s thinking of all those lives lost. “It’s not your fault.”

“It wasn’t intentional, but it’s still my fault.”

“Zane,” I start to argue but he raises a palm to halt me. He starts scribbling furiously on the board. I stifle a yawn and wonder if it’d be rude to make my excuses. I’m exhausted from our two-day long journey, and I want to return to Cal before he starts adding two plus two and computing ten. He knew I went to find Zane and I don’t want him worrying.

Dad places a hand on my arm and gestures toward the door. Perhaps some of my supernatural ability has rubbed off on him. Leaving Calista and Zane locked in some mute disagreement, I walk out the door, Dad hot on my heels.

“You look like you’re about to collapse,” Dad says, slinging an arm across my back.

“I’m beat,” I admit.

“Zane won’t be in trouble for this, Dad, will he?”

“No. It’s a setback but considering the nature of the work he does, I doubt there is too much at stake. It’s unfortunate that we asked him to manage communication of the schedules,” he says, tugging on his chin, “but at this point, our key concern is the IT project he’s working on. While the government may have caught snatches of conversation, there’s no way they’ll be able to sabotage our project or replicate it without access to all the code. How much of that did you catch back there?”

I rub my itchy nose. “I kind of zoned out to be honest.”

He chuckles. “Who are you and what have you done with my daughter?” He peers at me as if I’m some form of alien clone.

I yawn loudly and he pulls me out the door. “We’ll talk as we walk.” I let him steer me toward the elevator and sway against him as we wait. “Zane isn’t happy to have to come off the project, though he understands why he must. He’s thinking of a way around it. He wants you onboard.”

My head perks up at that. “To do what?”

“He suggested that you work with Ben and you can channel silent communications between them. He’s concerned Ben won’t be able to plug in the necessary code adjustments without his input. At least this way he can help see it through to completion. Are you okay with that?”

“Of course, Dad. Whatever it takes to help.” We stop outside my apartment. He looks me up and down and I look at him warily. “What?”

“I just can’t believe my little girl is married and about to become a mom. Seems like it’s happened in the blink of an eye.” He takes my hands in his. “I know this isn’t what you had in mind for your future. Are you sure you’re happy?”

“I am happy, Dad. I guess life has a funny way of throwing curveballs that surprise you. All that’s missing now is our freedom.” I squeeze his hands and let go.

“Don’t miss the meeting at two. All will be revealed. Either way, this time next week we will know where we stand.” An icy shiver sweeps over my body. Kissing me lightly on the forehead, he turns and walks away.

Cal is snoring softly when I enter the room. Peeling off my clothes, I slide in under the covers and snuggle into him. Even in sleep, his hands reach out for me. I’m asleep about the same time my head hits the pillow.

A shrill buzzing sound wakes us both up as the screen in our room springs to life. The official announcement reminds everyone that it’s thirty minutes to the update meeting. We dress in a hurry and make a quick layover at the cafeteria before heading to the amphitheater.

As Cal holds the door open for me, the drone of hundreds of voices reaches my ears. The amphitheater is filling up quickly. We locate two adjacent seats near the front and plonk ourselves down. I update Cal on the issue with Zane’s heart and the plan for me to work with Ben to help see the project through to completion. “Damn, we should have realized they’d do something like that after they sent me to Clementia with that camera behind my eye,” he admits, his knee bouncing up and down.

“I know. It was foolish not to consider it. Pointing the finger of blame is of no benefit to anyone now, least of all Zane.” My head whips around as I look for any familiar faces.

“He’s beating himself up over it?”

I turn and face him. “He’s putting on a good front but I know he’s devastated. All those soldiers lost …” My words trail off as I spot Zane emerging from the ground-level elevator, pushing a man in a wheelchair. “Oh my God, Gil!” I jump up and motion for Cal to move aside. I run down to the front and screech to a halt in front of them. Crouching down, I wrap my arms around Gil and his hand rests on my back. I pull back and scan his face. His blond hair is longer than the last time I saw him, curling gently around the nape of his neck. His jade green eyes are clear but they lack their usual warmth, his mischievousness missing. His gray sweater hangs off his body, no hint of the muscular torso he used to pride himself on. Another persona altered as a result of the government’s meddling.

“Gil,” I say softly, “I’m so glad to see you.”

“Ditto, Ari.” No usual bubbly humor laces his tone and his smile doesn’t reach his eyes.

“He’s not in a good place, Ari.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. What about Emily?” Zane subtly shakes his head and that’s all the answer I need. It appears there is no one who has escaped the atrocities unscathed.

“There’s my favorite girl,” a sweet voice says from behind me. Whipping around, I find myself locked in Erin’s embrace. I inhale her feminine, floral scent and a surge of grief for my loss sweeps through me as I accept the comforting hug from Zane’s mom. “Let me look at you,” she says, stepping back, but keeping a hand on my shoulder. “How far along are you?” Intelligent eyes meet mine.

“About six months, I think.” My brow puckers. “I’m going for a scan later so hopefully that will pinpoint an exact due date.”

“Have you been feeling okay?” she touches my cheek.

“I was pretty sick at the start but that’s passed now, thankfully. Other than feeling like I’m the size of a bus, I’m good.”

“It’s great to have you here, kiddo.” She tucks me in under her arm and plants a kiss on my head.

“Thank you so much for the clothes,” I say, gesturing toward my tunic and leggings. “I was beginning to seriously despair.”

“You’re welcome, sweetheart. That reminds me, drop around later, I whipped up a couple of other things for you.”

“That’s so …” A throat clearing interrupts me. Looking up, I stare into my husband’s eyes. Cal stands awkwardly to the side, hands shoved deep in his pockets. I’ve no idea how long he’s been there.

“Mrs. Anders,” Cal says politely, acknowledging Zane’s mom with a nod of his head.

“Erin,” she says, patting his arm. “Call me Erin.”

“They’re about to start. We need to take our seats,” he says to me. He extends his hand and I step forward, lacing my fingers in his. “I’ll catch you guys, later.” My gaze darts between the three of them. Zane maneuvers Gil into a space at the side of the stage and then makes his exit. Of course, he can’t be permitted to stay for the session.

We’re settled back in our chairs and Cal’s arm hangs across the back of my seat. Calista Corr takes to the stage. Excited whispers race through the air. “Can I have complete silence, please,” she requests. The room mutes. “Thank you all for coming. We gather here today on the cusp of monumental change.” She surveys the crowd, allowing her words to sink in. “We are ready to take back control of the world. To regain freedom over our lives.”

Loud cheers ring out in the vast room. She smiles and raises a palm. The crowd instantly quiets. “In two days’ time, we will implement a carefully planned attack on Planet Novo. Using cutting-edge technology, we will infiltrate the planet and take control of all stealth-craft and all Earth-based government operations. Once we have taken NSAF and ousted the President, our key priority is complete disablement of the Vita program, thereby removing the government’s ability to use mind manipulation to entrap us. At the same time, we will mount an orchestrated raid on every Ranger town in the United States, capturing and incarcerating all those forces who remain loyal to the government. We have coordinated closely with our rebel allies throughout the world, and our actions will be replicated in every other nation on Earth.”

A rousing chorus of clapping resonates around the room. Calista passes the reins to Dad. Once the clapping has died down, he addresses the crowd.

“Assignments will be displayed on all screens tonight. Certain individuals have been assigned to operations here, others will pilot stealth-craft as part of the attack on Novo, and the rest of our troops will form ground units assigned to target Ranger towns. Our IT experts have found a way to control the government air fleet so you will not need to be concerned with any aerial assaults. However, government forces on the ground will retaliate and bloodshed is unavoidable. Not all of you will make it back.” Clasping his hands behind his back, he scans the room, taking in each and every face.

A deathly hush has settled over the room. I look at Cal, immediate concern for his safety bludgeoning its way to the forefront of my mind. That he’ll be assigned to the front line isn’t in any doubt in my mind. I clasp his hand firmly in mine.

“There is no greater honor,” Dad says, “than to die fighting for freedom. Be proud. Be brave.”

A solemn round of clapping echoes around the amphitheater. Calista steps up to the podium again. “I doubt there is anyone in this room who hasn’t already suffered tragedy and loss,” she says. I swallow a painful lump in my throat. “We’ve had more than our fair share,” she continues, her eyes sweeping the room. “At eight p.m. tonight we will gather in the garden for a memorial ceremony to remember those who have died helping us reach this day, and to pray for all those brave soldiers who will fight to seize control of our world. Thank you for your attention.”

The meeting breaks up and people line up to exit the room. Cal and I remain in our seats, waiting for the line to diminish. “I’m worried for you,” I admit, bringing his hand to my lips.

“Don’t be,” he says, pinning me with a serious look. “Of everyone heading out on combat duty, I stand the most chance of coming back.”

I know he speaks the truth. His altered DNA equips him with semi-super-human abilities. But he’s no Captain America and blood still flows through his veins. One wrong move is all it will take.

“Promise me you’ll be extra vigilant,” I whisper, planting my hands on either side of his face.

“I will.” His warm breath dances over my skin as he whispers in my ear. “Can’t you look into the future and see how it’ll turn out?”

I resist the urge to snort. How I wish it worked like that. “It’s not that simple, and it’s the one part of my gift that I still have little control over. I’m going to try, but there’s no guarantee I will be able to predict anything.”

His forehead presses against mine and his breath warms my face as he speaks. “I spoke with Dad earlier, and he said the plans are watertight. The government won’t know we’re coming because the Invincia shield will hide our stealth-craft just outside Novo until the time to attack. When Zane hacks in, shuts down their defenses, and overrides their air fleet, they’ll realize it’s over. Everything will be okay.” His lips brush mine briefly, but the sinister feeling of dread still lingers in my tissues.

The garden is crammed full of people clutching nightlights, silently uttering prayers. The sparkling nighttime sky is the chosen ceiling for the occasion and the myriad of floating stars casts a magical blanket over the scene below. Lounging against Cal’s chest, his strong arms steady me at the side. My hand is entwined in Lily’s and she holds Deacon close on her other side. Dad stands alongside Cal, his back ramrod straight. A priest, kitted out in full military uniform, recites prayers to the reverent crowd.

My thoughts never stray from Mom. Now that I understand the reason behind her descent into depression, I wish she were here, so that I could apologize for all the times I resented her, all the times I spoke in anger. Talking with Erin earlier only cemented my loss. That Mom won’t get to see me become a Mom cuts me up inside. I wipe a lone tear off my face and Cal’s arm tightens at my side. I hope you’re at peace, Mom. I love you.

I blow out my candle and Cal does the same. “Are you okay?” he asks, tilting his head down.

I sniffle as I nod. “Were you thinking of Amber?”

“Yeah,” he admits. “And the others I’ve watched die.” His forehead crinkles. I can’t even begin to imagine the horrors he’s witnessed. “I’m glad it’s going to be over soon, one way or the other. I don’t have the stomach for war any longer.”

Once again, I find myself grateful that Dad chose to send me away. There are enough nightmares to haunt my dreams as it is.

A hand hooks my arm and I swivel around. “Hey, sister,” T says, angling for a hug. “Missing me much?”

“Like a hole in the head,” Cal says, before I can even open my mouth.

“Liar,” T teases. Cal rolls his eyes and I laugh. “I’ve lined up that scan for you. Do you want to come now?”

“Hell yeah,” Cal says, acting more and more like my official mouthpiece. He cracks a huge grin and I stretch up and kiss him.

“Lead the way,” I tell T, and we follow him out of the garden.

Cal and I share gobsmacked expressions. The digital image confirms it. “So, twins it is!” Cal says, beaming proudly and puffing out his chest. I giggle at how ridiculous he looks.

“Um, guys,” T says, his face contorting weirdly, “not exactly.”

Two anxiety-ridden faces peer at him. “What do you mean?”

“I can see the two babies,” Cal says, jabbing the screen with his finger. “Clear as day.”

“There are two babies,” T says, pinning us with a serious look. “But they aren’t twins.”

Cal frowns and acute panic takes hold of my heart as I pick up on all that T is feeling. “Explain, please,” I grit out.

He drags his nails through his hair and shoots out a long breath. “I’m not sure I can explain.”

Cal stiffens beside me and irritation churns with anger and fear inside him. “T, please,” I beseech, fearful that Cal is about to lose it big-style. “Just tell us what you’re thinking.”

“There are two babies in your womb, Ariana, but they were conceived approximately three weeks apart. They are developing individually, almost as if the other doesn’t exist. I can’t explain how it’s medically possible, but you have two separate fetuses growing inside you.”

CHAPTER 24

Taylor’s admission totally killed the mood in the room, and we left after another few minutes of shocked discussion. The only conclusion we can draw is that one of the babies was naturally conceived, and one is the product of embryonic meddling.

I feel sick to the pit of my stomach.

We walk back to our apartment hand in hand, in complete silence, almost incapable of speech.

“Where’s Ben?” I ask, stepping into our empty apartment.

“Forgot to tell you. He’s rooming with Jax and Xander now,” Cal says, striding to the overhead cupboard and snatching two bottles of water. Crossing back to me, he places a bottle in my hand.

I kick off my pumps and scoot up on the bed, propping pillows behind my back. I sip my water as my mind does another somersault. Cal perches on the edge of the bed, his folded leg brushing my bare feet. “What are you thinking?”

“That no matter how fucked up our lives become, there’s always something much worse waiting around the corner.” I drain the remainder of my drink.

“I know this is messed up,” he says, pinching the covers under his fingers, “But at least you and the babies are healthy. Taylor said everything looks normal. I think we should focus on that.”

I can’t help it—I shoot him a scathing look. Rubbing my eyes, I sigh loudly. I open my mouth to speak and then clamp it shut. I don’t think I can articulate all that’s going through my brain right now.

“Speak to me, baby.” His hand runs up and down my leg.

“Nothing about this is normal, Cal.” I almost spit the word at him. “It’s … it’s too much to take on board.” My voice cracks and a hacking sob tunnels its way up my throat.

He crawls up beside me and tugs me into his embrace. Burying my head in his chest, I fist his shirt and try to draw strength from the feel and smell of him. “Let’s not forget that one of these babies is mine. Ours,” he says, his lips pressing into my hair.

“That’s the only reason why I’m not in that hospital begging T to wrench the other one out of me.”

Cal sits up straighter in the bed and eases back. “Ariana, I know you don’t mean that.”

I scoot back, out of his embrace. “Don’t I?” I massage my temples. “You have no idea how sick I feel at the thought that the President’s baby grows inside me. It’s twisted. I feel … dirty inside.”

“Sweetheart,” Cal says, tilting my chin up with his finger. “It’s also your flesh and blood. And it’s an innocent baby. The circumstances of its parentage are not the baby’s fault.”

I stare at him numbly, too shell-shocked to allow rational thoughts to filter through. “I need to sleep. Maybe I’ll feel differently in the morning.”

“Rough with the smooth, remember?” I nod feebly. “We will figure this out,” he says, nuzzling his face in my hair.

I lie in bed idly listening to Cal humming in the shower. The gurgling noise of the water, and his dulcet tone, lulls me to sleep. I toss and turn all night, agitated, even in slumber.

My hair is cut in an angular style to the nape of my neck. I’m wearing tan shorts and a plain white shirt as I take it in turns pushing two little boys on swings. One has blonde hair and blue eyes, the other red hair and dark navy eyes. Their exuberant giggles tickle my ears deliciously. “Daddy?” they call out, over and over again. But no one comes.

I stagger out of bed, hand clutched to my beating chest. Squinting at the clock, I see 4.20 flashing at me through blurry eyes. After splashing cold water on my face, I stand in front of the mirror, my hands gripping the basin. My dream has unnerved me more than I’d like to admit. Was it a dream? Or a vision of the future? Two little boys. I plonk down on the lid of the toilet and hang my head in my hands. They were happy. I was happy. But …

“Baby? Are you okay?” Cal asks, lounging sleepily against the doorjamb.

My initial inclination is to tell him I’m fine. But that would be a lie. And I’ve vowed to be honest with him, no matter what. “I’m not sure,” I admit, peeking at him through the gaps in my fingers.

He crouches down in front of me, taking my hands in his larger ones. “What did you dream?” He knows me well enough to guess what’s disturbed my sleep.

“I saw our children. Two little boys,” I whisper. A wondrous look appears on his face.

“Two sons?” Oh God, the look on his face. My heart melts into a puddle of goo. I could’ve told him he’d just been granted eternal life and I don’t think he’d look as awestruck. “See, everything is going to be fine.” Leaning in, he kisses me and the soft caress of his lips soothes me in every place that needs to be comforted.

Perhaps he is right. It’s my baby and Cal will be his dad, no matter who his biological father is. And isn’t that what I’ve been saying all along about the situation with Deacon? That Dad is his dad irrespective of his genetic makeup because he is the one that has been there for him through thick and thin. The President may well be the sperm donor for one of my children, but he will never be my baby’s father.

And I can’t afford to become distracted by this latest drama. Not with everything else that’s going on. So I decide to compartmentalize. Shutting the baby dilemma away firmly in the back of my mind, I decide it’s a problem for another day.

“You’re right,” I tell him, sliding my hands through his hair.

“I usually am.”

He smirks and I tug his hair. “No one likes a know-it-all.”

“Just as well you love me then,” he says, rubbing his tongue very distractingly over his lips.

“Lucky for you that I do,” I say, pulling him up with me as I wrap my arms around his waist. “And if you’re really lucky,” I tease, trailing a finger slowly down his chest, “I might just show you how much I love you.”

My feet go out from under me as he scoops me up in his arms, as if I’m weightless, and I shriek as he strides out of the bathroom and dive-bombs on the bed. Two minutes later, all laughter is silenced as we prove to each other how much we truly belong together.

“I’m proud of us,” I tell him the next morning, as we get dressed. He arches a brow. Flicking his hand out of the way, I start to button his shirt up. “For dealing with the baby situation so maturely.”

I’m not going to pretend that I’m one hundred percent okay with it, but I’m coming to terms with it far quicker than I would’ve thought possible. Perhaps it’s because I already feel such a strong connection with my babies, I think, rubbing a hand over my exposed stomach. And the most important thing is that they are both okay, ten fingers and toes, everything in working order.

Smiling, he plants a light kiss on my forehead. I can’t resist licking his chest before I close the top button. He jerks and my happy place goes crazy. “Thank you,” I say, standing on my tiptoes and planting a quick one on him. I wiggle my dress up my body.

“We’re so good together,” he says, snaking an arm around my waist. “No matter how things pan out, Ariana, please believe me when I say that I’ll love both our boys equally.”

“Ssh,” I say, placing a finger to his lips. “I already know that. I feel so lucky to call you my husband.” Tears glisten in my eyes.

“Keep talking like that and we’ll never make it out of this room today.”

His fingers tug at the hem of my dress but I swat them away. “Behave yourself. We both have meetings to attend.”

As expected, Cal has been assigned to front line duty. He leaves tonight. A pang of anxiety fills me with dread. I can’t stop him doing this so I’ll just have to get over my natural concern. Calista has summoned me to a meeting this morning, and I’m curious to find out what else is expected of me.

Dragging Cal to the cafeteria is a momentous achievement considering he’s all grabby hands today. But I’m not going to chastise him. We’re on the brink of another separation, and I need to take my fill of him as much as he wants to drown in me.

We take seats beside Mel, Lily, and Deacon, and our table quickly fills with the rest of our friends. I stiffen when Zane plops into a seat across the table from us. I don’t know if it will ever feel right to be natural with Cal in his presence.

Strong feelings of longing and pain attack my senses. But they’re not from the direction I’m expecting. Mel exudes a whirlwind of potent emotions. Judging by the sneaky looks that she shoots Zane’s way, I’m assuming her feelings are directed at him. She spots me staring and her cheeks darken. Poor girl. Afflicted with the same condition I suffer from.

Cal sits upright in his seat and I look at him as he pins his sister with a WTF expression. Uh-oh. I’m not surprised that he’s picked up on the vibes. Mel’s as obvious as a swan in the middle of a pigsty. I look over at Zane, head bent over his cereal. He’s totally oblivious to the undercurrent in the air.

“Heads up, Zane. Trouble’s brewing.”

His head flips up and his eyes astutely assess the situation immediately. “It’s not what you think.”

“You don’t need to explain anything to me. Mel’s a sweetheart and if there’s something going on, then I’m thrilled for you both.” And I genuinely mean that. I feel nothing but happiness at the thought that something might be developing between them.

Zane lets his guard down for a split-second, and his heartfelt pain punches me in the gut. He still suffers because of me. I push my plate away, appetite vanquished on the spot.

“Ari, I’m happy you’re happy, and I’ve come to terms with the end of our relationship. But I’m not ready to move on yet. I’ve tried to explain that to Mel, but she doesn’t understand, and I’ve hurt her. That was the last thing I wanted to do.” He pushes his plate away and stands.

“You don’t have to leave.”

“Yeah, I think I do,” he says, glancing in Cal’s direction. “He doesn’t need any other reason to hate me.”

Mel watches Zane’s retreating back like a stalker in training. I’d previously suspected she had a crush on Zane, but I was way off the mark. Her feelings run much deeper than that. I risk a peek at my husband. His eyes have narrowed to slits and I sense there’s going to be hell to pay.

“Mel,” Cal says, as everyone gets ready to leave. “A word, please.” We hang back after bidding the gang goodbye. Her eyes beseech me and I shrug to convey my helplessness. I’ll stay and try to keep him calm but there’s no guarantee.

“Do you mind explaining to me why you’re drooling over Zane Anders like he’s sex on legs?” he hisses.

Mel and I sync the blushing.

“That’s none of your business, Cal.” Mel thrusts her hair over her shoulder and straightens her shoulders in an act of defiance.

“You’re my little sister!” He slams his fist on the table. “Of course, it’s my business.”

I place my hand over his. “Cal,” I say, pinning him with a look. “Nothing is going on. I think you’re overreacting.”

Fire blazes behind his eyes as he glares at me. “Don’t tell me I’m overreacting. First you, and now my sister!” He takes turns glowering at both of us, and that flips my bitch-switch into stratospheric mode.

“You listen to me, buddy,” I say, drilling a finger into his chest. “We have dealt with major crap in a calm, mature manner. You,” I say, digging my finger into his flesh to doubly make my point, “are not going to get all Neanderthal Man on Mel because she likes a boy. Understood?”

An amused grin curves up the corners of his lips as his anger melts away. “You have no idea how much I’m turned on right now,” he growls.

“Jesus, Cal!” Mel shrieks, hopping up. “I think I need to bleach my brain. Ugh.” She shakes her head but winks at me conspiratorially as she walks past.

Cal drops me off at the entrance to Command Center, planting a scorching, lingering kiss on my mouth before he goes. I float into the room, a dreamy smile playing on my lips. Calista wiggles her fingers at me, and I follow her into the small meeting room.

“Thank you for agreeing to work as go-between,” she says, pulling out a chair for me.

I sit down, propping my elbows on the table. “No problem. I’m happy to do whatever I can to help.”

“I was hoping you would say that.” She pours water from a jug into two glasses and hands one to me. “Congratulations on your marriage, by the way. I trust you are keeping well,” she adds, elegantly gliding into the chair beside me.

“Very well, thank you.” My throat works overtime as I drain my drink in one go.

She sits up ramrod straight in her chair and angles toward me. “I was hoping you might be able to tap into your visions and see if our plan is likely to succeed. We are cementing our strategy today. If you identify any issues, I’d like to be in a position to make last minute changes.”

“I’ll try but it’s the one part of my gift that I don’t have full control of yet. If it’s all right with you, I’d like to go back to my apartment. It’s quieter there and it’ll be easier for me to blank my mind and focus my thoughts.”

“Very well,” she says, rising gracefully. “If you could attend to that immediately, then report back in a couple of hours to start working with Ben.”

I’ve spent the last two hours blanking my mind, calming my emotions, and focusing on the future, and I’ve come up with nada. Zip. Zilch. I’m totally empty-handed.

I feel like a big giant fraud.

Calista is naturally disappointed when I tell her, but she tries to mask it. However, she doesn’t realize that I’ve totally mastered the ability to read emotions. Annoyance and frustration leak out of every cell and I feel like a fat failure. Slouching over to the IT room, I plop down beside Ben, hoping my afternoon will be more fruitful than my morning.

Ben hugs me quickly before we settle into work, telling me how delighted he is for Cal and me. How I wish Ben were Cal’s brother so I could claim him as my brother-in-law. I’d happily trade Jaden for him any day. I tap Zane to ensure he is ready and we get down to the business at hand.

I drag myself out of the room four hours later, body and mind shattered. I had no idea what messages I was relaying between the two boys. IT is about as intriguing as watching paint dry. Nonetheless, they are all set for tomorrow and at least I was able to add some value today.

Cal and I have dinner together in our room before it’s time for him to pack up and ship out. My senses are sending off all kinds of warning signals, and I desperately want him to stay. But I have to force my selfishness aside. There is too much at stake now.

“Promise me you will be extra vigilant,” I say, running my hands up and down his chest. “I don’t have a good feeling about this so you need to be really careful. No heroics. Do what you have to. No more.” I pin him with a serious look.

“I promise, gorgeous.” He kisses me and I melt into his arms.

“I miss you already,” I whisper, arms clinging to his waist.

“I know, baby. Me too. But I’ll be back tomorrow night.” He kisses the top of my head.

“You have your comm-clip, yes?” I ask for like the tenth time.

“I have it,” he says, patting the top pocket on his jacket. “Stop worrying. All this stress isn’t good for you or the babies.” Bending down, he presses his cheek to my stomach and kisses my bare skin. “Mind Mom,” he whispers and my heartstrings twang.

I walk with him to the Velo station, and we stay wrapped in each other’s arms until the Velo arrives and he needs to leave. I can feel the tears building behind my eyes, but I focus on keeping my emotions under control. The last thing Cal needs is for me to make a scene. But I have a bad case of the heebie-jeebies, and I can’t shake the worry that this could be the last time I ever see him.

“I love you. Stay safe,” I say, my voice cracking at the last second.

“I love you too. I’ll see you tomorrow. Don’t worry.” He tweaks my nose.

Irrespective of the crowd lining the insides of the carriage, he swoops down and hauls me to his chest, my feet lifting off the ground. He kisses me with abandon and urgency, pouring everything of himself into every touch and caress of his mouth. My resolve weakens as a sob builds in the pit of my stomach and gains momentum. When we break apart, he slides a thumb over the moisture under my eyes. “Don’t cry, baby. It’s all going to be over in a couple of days and then we can get on with the rest of our lives.”

I nod, my hands splayed against his face as I kiss him one last time.

I wait until the Velo glides into the enclosed tunnel before dropping to the ground. My breath is uneven, hitching noisily in my throat. Keep your cool, Ariana. If Aggie were here, she would waggle her finger in my face and ‘tut,tut’. He knows how to look after himself and he’s like a giant Rottweiler once he gets going. He will be totally fine.

I can’t be alone in the apartment or I’ll drive myself insane with worry. So I go on visiting rounds, calling into my family first, and afterward, knocking on Ruby’s door. There is no reply and I wonder where she could be. I haven’t seen her since I’ve been back, and I desperately need to speak to her, to ensure she’s okay.

Deciding to check out the garden, I take the elevator to the ground floor. The sounds of soft crying immediately greet me as soon as I step into the space. The scenery is programmed to the nighttime sky and it’s dark in the room. Squinting, I can just make out the side of Ruby’s head lying against the back of the tree. Taking off my shoes, I weave a path through the grass. I slink down beside her and wordlessly take her hand. She rests her head on my shoulder and I hold her close while she cries.

How alone she must feel with no siblings and both her parents gone. I’m sure Jaden is totally out of his comfort zone with all this, and I doubt he’s providing much support to her. Hopefully, I’m wrong, but somehow I don’t think I am.

“Sorry,” she mumbles, in between sniffles.

Pulling a paper towel out of my cardigan pocket, I hand it to her. “Oh, Ruby, I’m so sorry about your dad. I can’t believe this has happened to you.”

Lifting her head, she reaches into her bag and pulls out a juice carton. “I keep hoping that I’m going to wake up and find out that the last year was all a dream,” she admits, sucking juice through the straw.

“I know what you mean.” Especially considering my penchant for dreams. I remember clutching at similar straws myself when I thought Dad was gone. “Is there anything I can do to help?” I ask, though I know there is nothing that anyone can do except hold her through the rough times.

“You already are,” she says, reaching out and patting my hand.

By some miracle, I actually fall asleep almost immediately once I crawl into my lonely bed.

Cal is lying flat on his back, a large, dark-red pool smearing his chest. Damp hair plasters his forehead as sweat beads cluster in little balls on his skin. His eyes roil wildly in his head before his eyelids slowly close and his body slumps lifeless against the ground.

I wake up screaming and crying and my heart is beating furiously in my chest. I stagger to the bathroom and hurl into the toilet bowl. Big, fat teardrops slide down my face and my whole body trembles in fear. Forcing my body into motion, I rip open my bag and fling the contents all over the room until I locate my comm-clip. With trembling hands, I dial Cal’s code and wait for what seems like eternity, until a sleepy voice answers.

I cry over the connection and I can’t calm myself enough to speak. “Baby, you’re scaring me,” he says, “What’s wrong?”

I calm myself enough to blurt out the contents of my horrific nightmare. “You need to come home, now. Please,” I plead.

“Ariana, even if I wanted to, there is no way I can make it back to HQ. All Velo stations are on lockdown ‘til after the battle. Nothing is going to happen to me, I promise. If it makes you feel better, I’ll notify the Command Sergeant in the morning and see if any extra precautions can be taken. And you’ve said yourself before, you can’t always make sense of your dreams. You’ve been under a lot of stress lately. It’s probably just manifestation of your fear. I promise you that I’ll be extra careful. No harm is going to come to me. Okay?”

I nod my head like an idiot until I realize he can’t see me. “Yes,” I sniffle. “Can you call me the minute it’s all over tomorrow so I know you’re all right?”

“Of course, sweetheart. Now go back to sleep. We both need to be in top form tomorrow.”

Clicking off the call is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I’d happily stay on the line all night listening to his voice. But Cal is right. He needs to have his wits about him tomorrow and sleep deprivation would not help matters.

Eventually I drift off and I oversleep the next morning. Still, I’ve a couple of hours to kill before I’m needed for official duty, so, I wander off in search of some other lonely souls.

Dad summons me at four p.m., and I make my way to Command Center. Lily is helping Erin watch the kids and everyone else is battle-station ready. Tension is palpable in the air as I step into the room. Every workstation is manned; men and women in pristine white uniforms sit alert, ready to play their part.

The digital screens on the glass wall display a variety of scenes: Saoirse stealth-craft hidden in the skies outside Novo, teams huddled on the ground waiting for the green-light to attack the Ranger Towns, aerial views of the skies monitoring the government air fleet, and images of allied forces throughout Europe poised to act once they receive word.

I tap Zane and make sure he’s on standby. I know his isolation must be killing him, but in typical Zane fashion, he takes it on the chin.

A digital clock on the wall counts down the minutes.

The Inner Council talks in hushed whispers behind me.

A large hand clamps down on my shoulder and I look up. “Everything okay?” my father-in-law asks. I nod even though I’m biting the inside of my mouth red-raw and my knuckles are clenched tight, stretching the skin to breaking point. “He’ll be fine,” he adds in my ear, patting my shoulder before returning to his desk. Dad watches the interaction surreptitiously, attempting to mask his distaste.

Twisting my head from side to side, I try to loosen up and keep calm. I close my eyes, blank my mind, and reach out for an image, any clue to predict what’s ahead.

The vision that lands in my mind attacks my self-control and I audibly gasp out loud. My knees go out from under me and I sink to the floor. Dad and Calista rush to my side as my startled eyes fly open.

“What did you see?” Dad asks in a low voice. All the while, I’m hyper-ventilating.

“Oh my God!” I repeat over and over again, still struggling to breathe. Clutching my arms around my body, I rock back and forth, a deep trembling pummeling my insides.

“Ariana,” Dad says, gripping me by the arms. “Calm down and concentrate.”

Full-blown panic settles on my chest. His eyes plead with me to pull it together so I focus on steadying my breathing and slowing down my heart rate. Once I’m somewhat composed, I turn to face them. “Government stealth-craft are on the way here. They intend to take us out before we can push the button on our plan.”

Calista looks visibly relieved. “It’s okay, Ariana”, she says, laying a hand on my arm. “The Invincia will protect us.”

“But that’s …” I taper off as she stands, turning to address the group watching from the sidelines.

“It’s okay. False alarm.” She runs a slim hand through her hair.

“Calista,” I say in a firmer voice, extending an arm as I push off the floor. Dad wraps a strong arm across my back and helps me stand. “You don’t understand. They know how to take the Invincia out.”

“What?” she says, whirling around.

“There is no way they could know how to disable it,” she says, and then her eyes widen in sheer terror. “Unless,” she says, clamping a hand over her mouth. “Oh my God.” Her eyes dart to Dad’s. “Zane was at that meeting. They know about the server.”

Dad steps in front of me until we’re nose to nose. “What exactly did you see, Ari?”

Intense pressure like I’ve never felt before sits on my chest. My whole body shakes uncontrollably. Several pairs of eyes bore into mine and beads of sweat cluster under my clothes.

“I just witnessed our complete annihilation.”

CHAPTER 25

Horrified expressions meet mine. “Are you very sure, Ariana?” Calista asks, a furrow deepening in her brow.

“I …” Of course, I’m not sure. I still don’t have a clue how my visions work. But I know what I’ve just seen, and I can’t take the risk that it wasn’t a vision of the future, because if we ignore it, then we could all be doomed. “Yes,” I say. “I saw ten stealth-craft surround the front of our compound and bombard us with targeted missiles. One of the craft hit the server dead on and the Invincia shield folded. We didn’t react in time and,” I pause to collect my breath, “I saw us go up in flames. Please,” I beseech, moving closer until we are nose to nose. “We need to take immediate action.”

Calista pins Dad with a look and they stare at each other, some unspoken discussion being shared. “Okay, team,” Calista says, in a loud clear voice. She peers at the clock, which still shows twenty minutes lead-in time. “We are mission ready in ninety seconds.” Everyone scrambles to attention. Calista makes a formal announcement to the entire compound. Commander Remus sends hurried instruction to the ground crews to prepare themselves, and Dad runs into Ben to ensure he is primed to deactivate the Vita program. I don’t need to convey anything to Zane. He’s been listening this whole time, and as I tap into his mind, I spot his fingers whizzing over the keyboard.

“The Magna shield is down, Ari. Our troops can enter Novo airspace now.”

“Shield is down,” I advise Calista.

“Mission, Go!” Calista shouts out and my eyes are glued to the screen as our fleet rockets toward Novo.

“Incoming hostile stealth-craft,” a man bellows from below. The screen zeros in on a row of government jets cresting through the water, making a steady line for the compound. This is it.

“Tell Zane anytime now,” Calista says.

“I’m trying, Ari, but I need at least five minutes to hack in and take control of their cockpits.”

“We don’t have that much time, Zane!”

“Enemy approaching!” one of our pilots calls out over the comm channel, and I watch in despair as a swarm of government stealth-craft line up in the sky over Novo, clearly lying in wait for our forces.

“Zane …”

“I see them, Ari, but I can’t do anything while I’m working to shut down the fleet heading this way. Tell Ben to get on it ASAP.”

I rush into the IT room and instruct Ben to focus on shutting down the Novo air fleet. The floor shakes underneath me as I run back out and I wobble from side to side. A secondary impact rumbles through the compound as another missile bounces off the shield, which is still fully functional, for now. “Are we going to deploy craft to fend them off?” I ask Calista.

“All our fleet is deployed. There wasn’t any reason to keep them here.” Goddamnit, we’re like sitting ducks. “Ask Zane for a progress update.”

“I’m working as fast as I can, Ari, but I’m encountering some resistance. I’ll get around it, but I don’t know how long it’s going to take me.”

I relay the message and Calista raises fingertips to her temples. “If Zane can’t hack into their fleet and turn them around …” Her words hang ominously in the air. Diverting my attention back to the screen, I watch our fleet locked in a vicious battle over the skies of Novo. Ben hasn’t made any traction either. Row upon row of armed Rangers marches out of the Ranger towns and open fire on our ground troops.

Everything is falling apart.

The government was primed for our attack, and unless we can disable their technology, we are no match for their superior strength or numbers.

Chewing on my fingernails, I start pacing the floor. A massive jolt rocks the compound, and warning signals blare loudly as flashing red beacons sound the alarm. The compound shakes from side to side, and I lose my footing, tumbling to the ground.

“The server’s taken a direct hit!” a panicked voice screams, and I watch the digital grid as the Invincia line gradually retracts.

We’re toast.

“Γλυκιά μία,” Aggie calls out to my mind. “You can do this.”

Gulping loudly, I push my fear aside as stealth-craft line up in a row outside the glass window, readying themselves to deliver the death blow.

“I can’t do anything, Aggie. I’ve already seen it. We’re done for.”

“The future can always change. You have the power to do this. Remember what I’ve taught you. Now focus your mind.”

Steely determination sweeps through me. I grip the railing as an after-shock rocks through the compound. Urgent instructions are shouted around the room, and panicked screams and shouts echo all around me. I shut them out, zoning into my inner calm, breathing deeply as I close my eyes. Visualizing the scene outside, my arms sweep out in front of me as I summon the water to do my bidding. I imagine it surging up from the ocean floor, swirling and groaning as it accelerates, building momentum, and like a tornado, sweeping everything out of its path. In my mind’s eye, I see the stealth-craft hurled back up out of the water and thrust skyward, folding and tumbling over themselves, hurtling out of control and out of range of our facility.

An eerie calmness settles over me as I concentrate on the deep inhale and exhale of my lungs. Squeezing my eyelids shut, I’m afraid to confront reality because if I’ve failed and we’re all about to die, I’d rather not witness it head-on.

“Ariana,” Dad whispers, “open your eyes.”

His arm holds me at the waist and his steadying strength encourages me to be brave. I blink my eyes open. Every head is turned in my direction, every set of eyes focused on me. A deep blush blooms in my cheeks and I inwardly cringe.

I’m still not fond of being the center of attention.

Someone whoops and then a loud chorus of cheers and air pumping spreads around the room like wildfire. Only then do I look outside and notice the tumultuous tumbling of waves rocking the sea. But there’s nothing else out there.

Our enemy is gone.

My eyes flit to Dad’s as a surge of relief courses through my veins. “You did it, sweetheart,” he says, snatching me into his arms. “You saved us.”

“That was the most incredible thing I’ve ever seen,” Calista says, appearing in front of me. “Thank you.”

“Man down!” The screams ring out from the screen. All eyes whip around and the room becomes a hive of activity in a nanosecond. Now is not the time for early celebrations.

Focusing my gaze, I watch as the bloody battle continues above Novo and on the ground.

The real battle is only commencing.

I carry messages back and forth between Ben and Zane, and eventually they hack into the aircraft systems and take control of the government air fleet. Another bout of rousing cheers break out in the room as we watch the fleet being grounded. Our troops land on Novo, aided by an enlarged team of sympathizers, and in next to no time, we have taken NSAF and captured President Calavero.

Zane is busy shutting down the Vita program.

My thoughts instantly switch to concern for Cal as I monitor the live footage of the battle for control of the Ranger towns. It’s still in full swing. My nails are almost chewed to the nail bed. I’m listening to Calista as she gives orders to redeploy craft from Novo to Earth, to aid the ground combat, when the vision transports me to a different place.

Micha holds Cal in a headlock, a gun trained to his temple. His hands and feet are shackled with industrial strength metal, and his body is slouched awkwardly in front of her. A line of blood trickles down his face from an open gash on his forehead.

His dull eyes pierce my brain and I’m startled out of the ghastly image. A stabbing pain prods every inch of my body and I’m struggling to breathe. Hold it together! You need to warn him! I whip out my comm-clip and tap in Cal’s code. Each click that buzzes in my ear as the line tries to connect sends a bolt of absolute terror straight to my heart. Why isn’t he picking up! I’m pacing the room agitatedly but everyone is too focused on the ongoing battle to notice me.

I release the breath I’d been holding when the call connects. “Cal? Thank God.”

An evil laugh wafts down the line and I almost expire on the spot. A massive lump lodges in my throat. “Oh, dear,” Micha says, “Were you hoping to warn him about me? I’m afraid your timing is a little off. Cal and I are having quite the reunion.”

“Please don’t hurt him,” I rasp, clasping my hand over my chest. My dream from last night comes back to haunt me and I feel the tenuous hold on my emotions starting to slip. You need to stay calm. “What do you want?”

“A life for a life,” she snarls.

Icy claws dig their way inside my body. “I’m the one you want.”

“Naturally. I’ll make you a deal.” She blows down the line. “You come alone and we’ll do a little trade-off. If you tell anyone, I will kill him on the spot.”

“Send me your coordinates.” My whole body shakes as severe anxiety takes root deep inside me. “I’ll come alone.”

“It’s good to know you can cooperate if the right incentive is dangled in front of your nose. You have four hours to get here or he’s dead.” She disconnects the call and I clutch the side of the table. Sneaking a quick look around, I’m glad to see that Dad is totally pre-occupied and no one has been paying me any attention.

My comm-clip pings as the coordinates land, and I walk out of the room without a backward glance.

I make a quick stop at the apartment to grab a couple of guns. As I run toward the Velo station, my mind churns at ninety miles an hour. My brain has already started a mental countdown. Three hours fifty minutes and thirty seconds of a window. Every minute that ticks by threatens my sanity, but there’s no time for full-blown panic. I’ll think of a plan when I’m on the Velo.

I reach the station and come to a grinding halt. A stationary Velo lies idle on the platform but there isn’t a sinner in sight. Damnit! How the hell am I going to get out of here? Hot tears of frustration prick the back of my eyes. Running footsteps reach my ears and I swivel around.

“I can program it,” Zane says, opening a data panel on the side wall.

“Whoa!” I say, shoving him with my hand. “What are you doing here?”

“You let your shields down. I know Micha has Cal, and there’s no way you are going to face her alone.”

“Zane, she told me to come alone or she’ll kill him. I can’t take any chances with his life.” My tone is bordering on hysterical and I’m grappling to hold my shit together.

“She won’t know I’m there. Besides, you need me to help you get out of here,” he says, gesticulating toward the hunk of modern technology residing in front of me. “Done,” he adds, as the doors glide open. Taking hold of my arm, he propels me into the carriage. “We don’t have time to debate this, Ari. Strap yourself in. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.”

We alight from the Velo at the New York gate, and Zane effortlessly steals a car, plugging the coordinates Micha gave me into the auto-drive system. One hour forty-three minutes and twenty seconds to the deadline. I stuff my fist in my mouth to stop the scream that’s ready to let rip.

“Okay, so how do you want to play this?” Zane asks, once we’re out on the open road.

My eyes stare at him in a daze. I can’t even form a logical sentence let alone formulate a plan. My entire body is on lockdown, my fear for Cal overriding any ability to think clearly. My lip wobbles.

He snaps his fingers in my face. “Wake up, Ari! We can’t afford for you to fall to pieces now.” His hands fasten on my upper arms and he squeezes tight. “Close your eyes and focus your mind. Do it now,” he demands.

Shaking his hands loose, I delve into my mind and concentrate on calming my emotions. Cal needs me at the top of my game and I won’t let him down.

When I reopen my eyes, my resolve is crystal clear. “Here,” I say, stuffing a gun into his hand. “We’ll stash the car out of sight once we near the location, and I’ll make the last part of the journey on foot. You can shadow me from a safe distance, but make sure to keep out of her range.” I remove my comm-clip and fasten it around his ear. “Call for backup as soon as we get there, once we’ve determined what we’re dealing with. I don’t suppose she apprehended Cal on her own so she must have other accomplices.”

“You can’t let her take you,” he says, his arm brushing mine.

“I know. I’ll use my gift to overpower her, and once we grab Cal, we get the hell out of there.”

He reluctantly nods. “Seems as good a plan as any.” He shoves a hand through his hair. “You can’t lose your focus, no matter what crap she throws at you.”

“I know,” I admit. “I can do this.” Except I speak with more confidence than I feel.

The coordinates bring us to an unused part of an old elevated highway. Zane brings the car to a halt underneath a nearby bridge while we reassess our options. “Crap,” I say, squinting up at the road. “There’s no way you can shadow me up there. It’s totally exposed.” I bite down hard on my lip, drawing blood.

“She’s making sure you bring no one with you.”

My fingers jerk around the door handle. “I’ll just have to go it alone. You call for backup, but no air support. She’ll see them coming from miles away. We can’t take that risk.”

His hand fists in my top as he pulls me back into a hug. “I don’t like letting you go out there by yourself.”

“There is no other way.” I hug him hard and then my eyes flip to the dash. Eleven minutes forty-two seconds left. Shucking out of his embrace, I jump out and start running.

I’m breathless by the time I reach the stretch of road. Micha waits at the side of the highway, her body propped up against the worn metal structure of the dilapidated bridge. A soldier restrains Cal on the ground. His shoulders are hunched forward, his knees digging into the asphalt. My legs turn boneless at the sight of my husband rendered powerless, and I have to force my limbs to take one step in front of the other. Micha straightens as I approach, pushing off the wall.

Cal’s head lifts and flustered eyes meet mine. “No!” He thrashes about. “You shouldn’t have come,” he wails. His startling blue eyes lock on mine, and a multitude of emotions races across his face. I dart toward him but Micha steps out in front of me, a restraining hand shoved in my chest.

“How sweet,” she sneers, her features contorting unpleasantly.

I reel back as I sense the waves of hostility and hatred batting me from all sides. That she managed to contain such strong feelings around me the whole time I was in Clementia shows a remarkable level of self-restraint. But she’s not restraining herself now. Far from it, if the psychotic look in her eyes is any judge. Her gaze flits over my head and her lips crank out a smile. “Ah,” she says, clamping a heavy arm on my shoulder. “We can get this party started now that all the guests have arrived.”

Grasping me under the chin, she turns me around. Zane is being dragged up the road between two soldiers. They each carry one of his arms across their shoulders and his head bobs forward as his feet scrape the ground.

“What have you done?” I wail. She slams something cold and hard against the side of my head, and I scream as a bolt of pain hacks deep inside my skull. Yanking my wrists, she pins my arms around my back.

Cal yells until he’s quieted with a blunt punch to the face. Panic and fear choke me, knocking air out of my lungs.

“I’m so glad for your predictability, Ariana,” she says. The cold hard edge to her voice sends icy tremors zipping up and down my spine. I try to lockdown my emotions. “I could’ve insisted that you bring Zane with you, but then I would have tipped you off to my plan.” She leans in close to my mouth and her stale breath curdles my stomach. “This way is much more fun,” she says, easing back as she surveys my reaction.

The soldiers drag Zane over beside Cal, and Micha turns us both around. “They need to be conscious for this,” she instructs. A small metal device is held against both of their foreheads and they are jolted awake at the same time. Both boys narrow in on me, and we all exchange weary glances.

This is about to go downhill, fast.

I’m trying to calm myself down so I can focus on a plan, but I’m still reeling from Micha’s savage blow, and my emotions are skittering all over the place as anxiety of the worst kind attacks my self-control. The soldier holding Cal jams a gun into his temple, and the soldier detaining Zane stabs his weapon into Zane’s chest, right at the point of his heart. I try to jerk free of my restraints but my arms are securely bound. The options for using my ability to get us out of this mess are limited.

“Did you get word out?” I silently ask Zane.

“I sent a comm but these buttheads arrived before I could confirm receipt of the message.”

The click of a gun causes me to jump as Micha jabs her weapon into my stomach. Bile rises in my throat as Cal screams obscenities at her. “Be quiet!” she roars. “None of you are in any position to make demands. And you,” she says, drilling a bony finger into my chest, “Don’t even think about trying any of that freaky crap with me unless you want to lose them both.”

Her comment is immediately sobering.

“You took everything from me,” she says, her voice low and scary. “I never knew what happened to my baby. One day he was there, and then he was gone. Poof. Just like that.” She clicks her fingers. “Siva was my only child, my whole world. You took that away from me.” She circles me the whole time she speaks. “I didn’t even have a body to bury.” She slaps me hard across the face and a blistering sting ripples across my cheek, but I don’t cry out.

Cal lashes about wildly and I caution him with my eyes. Zane’s pained gaze fixates on me and I grit my teeth. “Imagine how I felt when my brother showed me your memory,” she continues. The manic look in her eyes chills me to the bone. “You took his life on a whim, and your only concern was protecting your loved ones. No remorse for what you’d done.”

“That’s not true!” I blurt out. “I was wracked with guilt every day over what happened, and I am truly sorry.”

“Save it for someone who might actually believe you.” She prods my face with dirty, stubby fingers.

“He tried to rape me, and he was going to kill Zane. I was only defending us. I didn’t intentionally set out to kill him.” I don’t know why I’m trying to appeal to her compassionate side. It’s already been proven that she doesn’t have one.

“Shut up!” she screeches. Fisting my hair, she tugs hard and my head jerks back. She tilts her head left to right, salivating over my neck. Fear seeps into every crevice of my being at the thought of what she has in store for me.

Releasing her hold on me, she slams her palms into her forehead and paces back and forth in front of me, muttering to herself.

“Don’t rile her up, Ari. She is seriously deranged.”

Before I can respond, Micha is all up in my personal space again, a hideous sneer plastered across her lips. “And as if that wasn’t bad enough, I’ve had to sit by and watch you fall pregnant without even trying!” She digs her nails into her lips. “I couldn’t have any more children, and you,” she says, placing her hands on my stomach, “you don’t even want this baby.” I bite down on my lip as her hands creep over my bump. Cal’s face pales.

Micha continues to stare at my stomach as she mutters to herself, her hands the whole time cradling my stomach possessively. The urge to body-slam her is riding me hard, but she’s on the verge of losing it, and we need to buy time. Offering up a silent prayer, I fervently hope that help is on the way. And that it arrives before it’s too late.

“You will feel the pain of my loss,” she says, her stony eyes drilling into me. A freezing cold shiver rocks my body and I visibly shudder. She throws back her head and laughs. Turning to the side, she looks at Cal and Zane and then back at me. “Oh, I’m not going to kill you.” She waggles her fingers at me. “That would be too easy. No,” she says, walking toward two of the most important people in my life. “I’m going to kill someone you love so you have to live with the pain and suffering I endure on a daily basis. A life for a life.”

She stops in front of Cal and snatches his chin in her hands, inspecting his face. “Which one will you save?” She turns to the side. “Pretty boy, here. Or your constant savior,” she sneers, moving to Zane’s side and running her finger down his face. “You choose.” She pins me with a look, hands perched on her hips. “Who do you love more? Who can you live without?”

Sweat dampens my brow and I’m struggling to breathe. My heart slams against my ribcage. Calm down and breathe, focus. Take out the soldiers first and then aim for Micha. My silent coaching isn’t working. I can’t control my emotions; they’re veering off the charts. My heart refuses to slow down as my eyes dart between Cal and Zane and liquid fright strips me bare. A huge sob escapes my throat and Micha chuckles.

“Choose. Now. Or I’ll choose for you,” Micha says, tapping her foot impatiently.

“Ari, focus. Calm down and take her out. You can do it.”

“The clock is ticking,” Micha jeers, unlocking her weapon and positioning it against Cal’s forehead.

“No!” I scream, my feet moving forward.

“Stop!” she yells. “Take one more step and I’ll put a bullet in his head.” I slam to a halt. “Eeeny. Meeny,” she says, flicking her gun from Cal’s forehead to Zane’s and back again. My mind swirls round and round in panicked circles.

“I suppose I should mention one more thing,” she says flippantly, as if she’s suddenly remembered something important. Keeping her gun raised, she twists to the side, no doubt, so she can see the expression on my face. “I’ll also be taking your baby.”

Something cracks and splinters inside me.

A red glaze coats my eyes blurring my vision. Deep-seated trembling shatters my entire body, a violent shuddering working its way from the tips of my toes to the hair on my head. I barely hear Micha roar at me. “Choose, now!” Rage boils the blood in my veins, and I open my mouth and let loose a guttural scream that comes from the inner depths of my soul.

Asphalt loosens and ruptures and an ear-splitting noise pierces the air as a fault-line cracks right up the middle of the pavement. The highway trembles and bunches underfoot, and Cal uses the opportunity to rear back and head-butt the soldier behind him. Though he’s still curtailed, he throws himself at the other soldier and knocks him to the ground. Micha sways precariously on her feet as she attempts to move toward Cal, her weapon shaking in her hand.

The middle section of the road crumples in on itself as I pitch myself forward. A distant sound of gunfire taps my eardrums. Flexing my arms, I break free of my chains. Lifting my hands up, I thrust Micha into the air. In a swooshing movement, I toss her over the edge of the bridge, her body flailing as she soars through the sky. I clamber to reach Cal and Zane. They run toward me and we collide just as the pavement slides out from under us. Closing my eyes, I project my shield out from my body and envelop us in a protective bubble.

“You can open your eyes now, Ariana,” Cal says a few minutes later, his body firm against my back.

I blink my eyes open and scan our surroundings. We are crouched in a huddle on the road below, chunks of scattered asphalt littering us on all sides. Tilting my head, I look up at the large, wide hole in the highway. “Holy crap!” I croak out.

“Yes. Indeed,” Zane says, standing up and stretching out his cramped legs. His eyes squint and focus on an object in the near distance. My eyes zone in on the crumpled, mangled torso lying discarded on the ground. I thought I’d feel relief once Micha was no longer a threat. But now, staring at her lifeless form, I feel nothing at all. Curiously numb.

Cal’s arm loosens from my waist. “Are you okay?” I ask, swinging around to face him.

A sheen of sweat cloaks his forehead and his hair is plastered to his face. Dull eyes lock on mine. “Ariana,” he rasps, stumbling back. He slams down against a chunk of broken pavement and air punches out of his lungs. A deep red stain spreads over his shirt and his eyes roll back in his head. He’s been shot!

As I watch my vision play out in front of me, my own gut-wrenching screams are the last thing I hear before I succumb to darkness.

I wake up on a medical gurney at the side of a large makeshift hospital. A warm hand clasps mine. “Ari?”

“Where’s Cal?” I ask, attempting to sit up.

“He’s in surgery,” Zane says, wrapping an arm around my back to steady me.

I swing my legs over the side and hop down. Zane pins me to his side as I stagger about the place. My head is fuzzy and little white stars dot my vision. But he knows better than to argue with me.

I cling to him for support as he leads me to a small cordoned-off area at the back. Pushing the canvas cover aside, I almost double over as my eyes adjust to the scene. Cal is unconscious on a bed, stripped to the waist, a deep serrated cut widening his chest. Tubes in his arms hook up to a mobile machine off to the side. A team of medics darts around the space in a flurry of activity. A doctor kneels on top of him, a hand inside his chest, massaging his open heart.

“Oh my God.” I bury my head in Zane’s chest as I break down.

“Get her out of here!” a male nurse yells just as a shrill beeping sound blares out. I’m forgotten as everyone scurries to Cal’s side. I watch in slow motion as they all rally around my husband’s bed.

I’m bug-eyed, staring at the beeping machine.

The continuous flat line taunts me from the screen, and I can’t drag my gaze away from the strong hands of the doctor as he frenetically pumps Cal’s heart.

A wave of anguished pain rips my insides apart, sending shards of razor-sharp shocks darting all over my body. A hideous wailing sound rises up my throat, and I’m screaming and crying hysterically as my lungs fight for air.

A searing pain rips across my stomach, and I shriek as a flood of warm water gushes out from between my legs.

Every last ounce of fight leaves me as I dissolve in Zane’s arms.

Epilogue

Four years later

I pluck the weeds from the edge of the slate gravestone and replace the withered plant with the purple geranium I brought. Rocking back on my heels, I close my eyes and offer up a silent prayer for his soul.

Peeking at the dial on the dash, I push the acceleration button on the car and floor it. I’ll never forgive myself if I’m late for the party.

The car glides up the gravel-lined driveway, and my eyes soften, as my home looms large in front of me. The beautiful one-story wooden house, nestled at the edge of the forest, overlooking Roseland Lake, never fails to steal my breath away.

Four years ago, all thoughts of a life like this were just wishful thinking.

I still have to pinch myself to believe that I’m living the dream.

As I lock the car behind me, the creaking of the front door gives me a two-second warning. The boys fling themselves forward, laughing, whooping, and clapping. Lucas’ blond head bobs up and down as he wraps sticky hands around my bare leg. “You’re just in time for the party, Mommy!”

“I think someone had his hand in the cookie jar already!” I tease, wiping a thumb across Lucas’ chocolaty face. Louis sucks on his thumb, chin tucked into his chest, waiting for an invitation. Stretching out my arm, I bend over and snag my other son into my side. “I hope you left some for me!” I run my fingers through his sunset-red hair and plant a light kiss on the top of his head.

“I had to stage an intervention,” my husband says, his seductive voice sending an immediate thunderbolt straight to all the sensitive parts of my body. My tongue moistens my lips as I look up at him, only short of flat-out drooling. Lounging against the doorjamb, he wears khaki shorts, a plain white T-shirt, and black flip-flops, but somehow manages to still look totally edible. He reaches up and grips the top of the door and his shirt lifts displaying a tantalizing hint of glistening, taut, sun-kissed skin. Swiping a hand through his blond fringe, he pushes the hair out of his dazzling blue eyes.

Blue eyes that know me inside and out.

Blue eyes that are quickly transforming to fiery red as he recognizes the hankering in my face. He winks and shoots me his best panty-dropping look.

I sway unsteadily on my feet and Cal laughs devilishly.

“Mock me at your peril,” I whisper in his ear as I stroll past, each of my hands wrapped around a tiny little one. Cal swats my butt and I shriek.

Lucas lets out a loud peel of laughter. “Daddy’s so bold!” He chuckles.

“That he is,” Mel says, smiling, as I step out onto the open deck, which wraps around the entire outer perimeter of our home. She gives me a quick hug before dropping me like a hot potato. Crouching down, she wraps an arm around each of my sons. “I have presents for two little birthday boys,” she says. “But I can’t find them anywhere. I wonder where they are?” She pouts as she looks all around her, determined to keep up the pretense for as long as possible.

But four-year-olds aren’t known for their patience.

“We’re here,” Lucas shouts, jumping up and down. “It’s our birthday, Aunty Mel. We want our presents.”

“Lucas,” Cal reprimands, slinging an arm around my waist. “Remember your manners.”

Louis stands shyly to the side, happy as usual to let his brother speak on his behalf.

They are as different in their personalities as they are in their looks. Though it’s blatantly apparent which son is Cal’s biological child, we’ve never sought confirmation. Nor is there any need. Preliminary testing, conducted in the aftermath of his birth, confirmed that Louis was completely healthy and totally normal and that was all that mattered to us. Initially, we’d been concerned that the government’s genetic meddling might have extended beyond embryonic fertilization. But thankfully, those concerns were unfounded, and we were both able to breathe a sigh of relief.

Cal treats both our sons equally and he’s an amazing father, as I always suspected he’d be.

“Would you like a glass of wine?” Cal asks, dipping down and kissing me softly.

“Let me get changed first,” I say, gesturing at my navy uniform skirt and starched white blouse that now contains scant traces of little chocolaty lips.

“Need a hand with that?” Cal whispers.

“You are so bold,” I reply in a low voice. “But actually, I do have something I need to tell you.”

The doorbell rings and Mel hops up, a beautiful glow lighting up her face. “I think that’s Zane. I’ll get it. You two go do … um, whatever,” she says, looking sheepishly at her brother’s face. “I’ll finish setting the table, and we’ll keep an eye on the boys.”

Cal whisks me away before I can even acknowledge Mel’s words.

Somehow, I’ve managed to change without giving into my husband’s amorous advances. Four years on and he’s still all grabby hands.

But I love it.

And him.

“Can you help me with this?” I ask, handing my diamond and ruby necklace to him. It was Cal’s gift to me the day of our formal wedding ceremony two years ago. Glancing at the framed photo by our bed, I smile at the image of my cherished little family—our wedding photo perfectly complete with the addition of two grinning little boys.

His lips nuzzle my neck as he clips the clasp in place. He moves super-fast. Before I know it, I’m pinned under him on the bed. “All the smooth moves in the world aren’t going to get you laid right now,” I say, twisting my head sideways to deflect his tempting lips. “Behave.” I shove his chest with my hands. “We have guests.”

As if on cue, the doorbell sounds again, and the pitter-patter of little feet running to the front door lifts my heart right out of my chest.

Admitting defeat, Cal slides off the bed and helps me up. “I have something for you,” I say, a delicate blush creeping over my skin. Cal arches a brow and levels a quizzical look my way. “Here.” I reach into my bag and snag the small silver box, handing it to him. I watch as he pries the lid open.

He sucks in a sharp gasp as his fingers clutch the tiny little booties. “You’re pregnant?” he asks, his tone reverential.

I nod. “T confirmed it earlier.”

“Oh My God,” he says, bridging the gap between us and swooping me up into the air. “This is the best news ever!”

“Put me down, you moron,” I squeal, but I’m euphoric. I knew he’d be pleased, but his obvious happiness in our family life always provokes an indescribable flurry of contentment.

“Have I told you lately how much I love you?” he whispers, before his mouth devours mine.

“Congratulations,” Zane conveys silently as he rises to greet me.

“How did you?” My words stall on my tongue. “Damnit! I dropped my shields again, didn’t I?” I groan inwardly.

We’d agreed a few years ago to keep our mental shields up permanently. It’s easier that way. The only time we relax the rule is if we need to send a message to each other. Sometimes it’s far quicker than modern-day communication channels. Though, I still have difficulty keeping them in place at times of emotional upheaval.

“Please don’t say anything to Mel. We don’t want to broadcast the news yet.”

“I won’t say anything if you promise to never admit that I knew first. She’d have my balls otherwise.”

I attempt to disguise my laugh as a cough. “Deal!”

I watch Cal, Deacon, Zane, Ben, Taylor, Xander, and Dad play soccer with the boys on the field behind our house, from my elevated position on the deck. Gil plays referee from the sidelines. Ruby tops up my wine while Mel conspicuously declines another glass. Ruby shoots me a look. I have a theory about that, and if I’m right, I may have a partner-in-crime for this pregnancy.

“How is the wedding planning going, Mel?” I ask, swirling the liquid in my glass. Not a drop of it will pass my lips, even though I keep up the charade. Ruby has an uncanny ability to weed out the truth from far less evidence, and I don’t want to take any chances by revealing our happy news so early.

It’s bad luck.

“I haven’t been feeling that great lately so no other progress to report,” she admits, a blush staining her cheeks. I knew it! Ruby mouths “Wow” at me from behind Mel’s head, clearly drawing the same conclusion that I have. “But,” she adds, “we have most of it organized already so Zane and I were actually thinking of bringing the date forward a bit.” Uh-huh.

“When were you thinking of?”

“Next month.” Ruby spits her wine out all over the table.

“That’s fantastic news, Mel,” I say, jumping up and running around the table to hug her. “I’m really pleased for you.”

And I’m completely sincere.

Mel pursued Zane with the determination of an Olympic athlete, and it was so difficult to watch him continually pushing her away. It killed me that he was still hurting, and I can’t recall the amount of nights I prayed that he would be able to leave the past in the past and move on with his life.

All I’ve ever wanted is for him to be as happy as I am.

For Mel there was never anyone else. She tried dating a few times, but none of the guys ever matched up to Zane. Ironically, they finally got together the day of our wedding, and they haven’t looked back in the two years since. I cried when Mel told me Zane had proposed, and I was finally able to let go of that last remnant of guilt.

Now it looks like he’s all set to become a father too. Life truly has come full circle.

When I was seventeen, I wanted nothing more than a career in the military. No boys. No babies. Nothing so parochial was ever on my horizon.

I never imagined that I could have all that and more.

My eyes land on my husband as he tackles Louis with the ball, and I thank the Lord every day for bringing him into my life. Cal has willingly sacrificed his own prospects for promotion to support my ambitions. He works out of the local Connecticut military base assigned to ground operations while I travel up and down the country with Dad overseeing the establishment and management of local police and military operations in different states. During those first six months after the end of the war, I was involved in the War Trials, which was a real eye-opener. It was difficult to bear witness to at times, but I know I sleep better at night now that President Calavero and Zolt Rada are both behind bars.

My new job is a welcome change and one I was enthusiastic about from the outset. Though, I couldn’t have accepted the position if Cal hadn’t agreed to stay locally so he could be here for the boys. I worry sometimes that he’ll come to resent me for it, but all I have to do is look at him with our sons to realize that he’s right where he wants to be.

Releasing Mel, I slink back into my seat, throwing my glass of wine into the plant pot behind me while neither of them is looking.

“The boys want to say goodnight to their Uncle Zane,” I say, standing at the sliding glass doors, beckoning him with my fingers.

“We’re going to call it a night,” Ruby says, pushing Gil forward. “I’ll phone you about lunch next week.”

She kisses me on both cheeks and I bend over, enveloping Gil in a warm hug. “Thanks for the invite,” he says. “Our place next time.” He plants a kiss on Ruby’s palm as they make their way outside. Cal and I wave them off at the door.

There was a time when I thought Ruby might have become my sister-in-law, but Jaden predictably screwed up that relationship. I shake my head as I think of my errant brother-in-law. He lives on Novo with my father-in-law, and we only see them a few times a year unless I have to fly there on official business, and then I always make the time to catch up with Nate.

Travel is freely permitted between Earth and Novo now, and individuals can choose for themselves where they wish to live. Huge reconstruction projects have been ongoing on both planets since the aftermath of the big battle. Much was damaged and destroyed. However, together we are working hard to rebuild our world.

Now that Deacon knows the truth of his parentage, he splits his time between Dad’s house in Connecticut and the Remus household on Novo. Lily is attending Harvard and we try to visit her as often as we can.

So many variations of family. Thankfully, it works.

“Earth to Ari,” Zane says, snapping his fingers in my face and drawing me into the present. “I hear two little boys are waiting for me to tuck them in.”

We leave Mel and Cal talking with Ben and Dad on the deck.

The boys wrap their tiny arms around Zane’s neck as they say goodnight. “You are going to be an amazing father,” I say, as I close the door outside their bedroom.

“What?” he says, feigning ignorance and scratching the side of his head.

“It’s pretty obvious that Mel’s pregnant. I’m so happy for you.” Reaching over, I give him a quick hug. “And I’ll keep your secret like you’re keeping mine!”

“You can compare bumps,” he teases.

“Don’t even joke about that,” I say, nudging him in the ribs, “I still remember the harassment I had to endure the last time I was pregnant.”

“God, that seems like forever ago,” he says, scrubbing a hand over his jaw.

Not to me it doesn’t.

I shiver as I recall the circumstances under which I gave birth to the boys. The shock of seeing Cal flat-line had induced early labor, and it was real touch and go for the first few weeks. But they are fighters, like their Dad, and with the aid of modern medical technology, they both pulled through.

Cal was technically dead for four minutes, but the medics were relentless in their efforts and they brought him back to life.

Well, it was either that or Cal’s infamous stubbornness that did it.

Irrespective, I’m eternally grateful. I shudder to think what my life would be like if he hadn’t made it. Zane clasps my hand. “Don’t go there,” he says quietly.

“This time will be a doozy,” I explain, working hard to keep the atmosphere lighthearted. “Come with me.” I motion with my head. “I have something to show you.”

I close my bedroom door softly behind me. “Sit,” I command and he drops down on the edge of the bed. Opening the sideboard, I retrieve the item I stowed there earlier.

I plop down beside Zane, tucking my legs up underneath me. “Look what I got back,” I say, dropping the chain into his hand.

He gasps as his fingers skim over the tarnished silver casing of the locket. “Always and forever,” he whispers, reading the inscription. “Where did you get this?” His warm brown eyes search mine.

“We found another warehouse stuffed full of items the government had confiscated. Dad discovered it and gave it to me. Incredible, right?”

“Yeah.” He blows air out of his mouth. “Jeez,” he says, looking deep into my eyes, “I still remember the night I gave it to you. As clearly as if it was yesterday.”

“Me, too,” I admit. Though the strongest memory I have of the night of my fifteenth birthday is how guilty I felt for being happy—that I didn’t deserve to be young and in love after I had taken Siva’s life.

“You still feel guilty over Siva, don’t you?” he says.

I frown. “Thought you couldn’t read my mind.”

“I know what you’re thinking just by looking at your face.” His expression visibly softens.

“It’s getting better,” I admit, unconsciously knotting my hands in my lap.

“Cal said you were at his grave earlier.”

One of the things I did to try to make amends was erect a gravestone in his memory. His body isn’t buried there, of course, but at least there is some acknowledgement of his life, and his death.

“Yeah. I go once a year to pray for his soul. And I still volunteer at the Welcome Center whenever I can.” A Welcome Center was set up in each state to help individuals struggling to cope with readjustment to our new world. Many of the people who attend the Connecticut branch were subjected to the mind-manipulation program of the newer Vita implants. Plagued with horrendous nightmares of the bloodshed they inflicted on their own colleagues while their minds were thwarted, they struggle with daily life. Supporting these people helps assuage some of my guilt, and it feels good to be giving something back to the community, to my fellow survivors.

In time, I hope that I can totally forgive myself. For now, I’ve found a way to live without the guilt threatening my sanity.

Zane is pensive as he watches me self-analyze. His thumb rotates in small circles over the locket. “You know,” he says, lifting his head, “when I gave this to you, I thought ‘Always and forever’ only meant one thing.” He drops the locket into my hand and curls my fist around it. The strength of his emotion bleeds into my consciousness. “But now I know that I was wrong.” He leans in and hugs me. “It’s still a promise, Ari,” he whispers in my ear. “To always be here for you as your friend.”

Gently, he extracts from our embrace. Tears brim in my eyes but I quickly wipe them away as the door to the room opens. “Everything okay?” Cal asks.

“Yeah,” I say, jumping up and wiping my palms down the front of my dress. “Everything is perfect.”

And as I stand at the edge of our deck, looking out over the stunning view of Roseland Lake, I acknowledge the truth of my statement. Cal’s warm body heats me from behind, his strong arms circling my waist, as he holds me close to his heart. Glancing sideways, I grin at the similar posture of Zane and Mel beside us. Zane catches my eye and we smile in shared understanding.

“Always and forever, Ari.”

“Always and forever, Zane.”

THE END

Keep reading for a very special free offer.

This short story collection contains bonus stories set in the True Calling world, including:

Torn Apart
Cal will tear the world apart to be reunited with Ariana. Narrated by Cal Remus, this story explains what happens to Cal in the aftermath of True Calling.

Endings and Beginnings
Discover how the past shapes the future with tragic consequences. This short story is narrated by Anneka Skyee.

Perfect Moment
This heartwarming short is set two years after the end chapter of Destiny Rising. Join all your favorite characters as they celebrate a very special wedding. Narrated by Zane Anders and Ariana Skyee.

Under the Mistletoe
This story follows the main characters at Christmas, and it's set four years after the epilogue in Destiny Rising. This story is the lead-in to The Skyee Siblings spin-off series. Narrated by Zane Anders and Ariana Skyee.

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A Special Note from the Author

Subscribe to my special reader review team here to claim an advance, free copy of Lily’s Redemption, Book 1 in The Skyee Siblings, a New Adult spin-off series to True Calling.

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Best wishes,

Siobhán.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Siobhan Davis writes young adult science fiction fantasy romance, and she is the author of the Amazon bestselling True Calling and Saven series. Prior to pursuing a full-time writing career, Siobhan forged a successful corporate career in Human Resources over the last twenty years. She resides in the Garden County of Ireland with her husband and two sons.

You can connect with Siobhan in the following ways:

Author website: www.siobhandavis.com

Author Blog: My YA NA Book Obsession

Facebook: TrueCallingBooks

Twitter: @siobhandavis

Google+: SiobhanDavisAuthor

Email: siobhan@siobhandavis.com

TURN THE PAGE TO READ A SAMPLE FROM SAVEN: DECEPTION, BOOK 1 IN THE NEW, EXCITING YA SCI-FI ROMANCE SERIES FROM SIOBHAN DAVIS.

THE TRUTH DOESN’T ALWAYS SET YOU FREE

I’ve fallen hard for an alien, but he’s harboring secrets.

Massive secrets that threaten the very essence of humanity.

How can I give him my heart when his race plans on taking my future?

Sadie Owens has been slowly dying inside. Bit by bit, piece by piece, day by day. Trapped in a life she hates, she relies on only one person—herself.

Despised by her family and betrayed by an unscrupulous government, Sadie dreams of a different life. When she is chosen to participate in the government’s new social experiment, she is ecstatic at the prospect of spending six months in Thalassic City, the shiny new city under the sea.

Immediately drawn to Logan Chandler, Sadie is captivated by the beautiful boy with the ocean-blue eyes. Logan seems to embody everything that has been forbidden, but he isn’t all he appears to be.

Confused over Logan’s true intentions and concerned when best friend Jenna starts transforming in front of her eyes, Sadie partners with newcomer Jarod in a bid to uncover the government’s real agenda. The truth is more shocking than anything she could ever have imagined.

When Sadie finally understands why the Saven walk among us, will it be too late to save her heart and the human race?

SAVEN: DECEPTION SAMPLE

Prologue

Dr. Evana Taylor locked her office door and walked briskly out of the building. Tugging the collar of her brown cashmere coat up over the nape of her neck, she strode across the empty parking lot, the wind whipping her long copper-colored hair in a mass of tangles all over her face.

Though it wasn’t yet November, the cold weather had arrived with a bang. The icy layer snaking through the dark night air slapped her skin as brutally as a punch to the face. Wincing, she picked up speed and walked with renewed vigor, desperate for the warmth and safety of her car.

Her thoughts flipped to her husband and she sighed. Her recurring tardiness angered him. It was becoming more of a regular occurrence as her client list grew, and she sensed his mounting frustration. Since she had received the coveted NextGen Psychologist Award, she was in high demand. Her research on cognitive behavioral therapy continued to win her numerous accolades, and she was cresting a wave she’d only ever dreamed about.

This was her once-in-a-lifetime chance to develop the type of career she’d always desired and an opportunity to build a nest egg that would secure her family’s future. Although it required personal sacrifices—most of which she was willing to make—she deplored missing her son’s bedtime. Peeking at her watch, she sighed loudly. She would have to wait until morning now to see her little Glenn.

An ominous sense of foreboding swept over Evana and she instinctually glanced over her shoulder. The Psychiatric Facility was bathed in eerie darkness; the only visible light a dim glow from the small security desk in the front lobby. Shaking off her paranoia, she picked up her pace and strode with purpose toward her car.

A monstrous gust of wind swept the length of the lot, and tiny hairs rose to attention on the back of her neck. Inexplicable fear sent her heart rate skyrocketing as blood stampeded through her veins. In her haste to reach her car, Evana tripped over her feet and took a tumble. Silently cursing, she pushed off her hands as a blinding ray of light immersed her form on the ground.

Shielding her eyes, she looked up and froze. An icy tremor ripped up and down her spine as her body became weightless, and she began to float off the ground. She tried resisting the pull, but her muscles stubbornly refused to cooperate. She opened her mouth to scream, but her vocal cords were paralyzed, and the scream lay dying on her tongue. Trapped within herself, she had no way to release her panic.

As she ascended, she fought the urge to close her eyes. But her lids grew heavy and cumbersome, and eventually darkness swooped in and laid claim to her.

Heat radiated underneath Evana’s body, and she was cocooned in a heady sensation that feathered skin deep. A steady thrumming sound reverberated around her, and the gentle swaying motion of her surroundings, combined with the pleasurable warmth, enveloped her in a heavenly blanket. A satisfied moan escaped her lips.

“She is conscious,” a voice said in a lilting, heavily accented tone. Evana’s heart slammed against her ribcage as renewed panic set in. Parking lot. Lights. Body floating upward. Too afraid to open her eyes and confront reality, Evana prayed, as she’d never prayed before in her life.

“Dr. Taylor,” a strange voice said, “open your eyes.” Her eyes fluttered open upon his command despite her reluctance and fear.

A man and woman loomed over her, scrutinizing her as if she was a mutant insect or a science experiment gone wrong. Anxiety prickled underneath the surface of her skin, but she was immediately drawn to the man, and she couldn’t tear her eyes away.

He was tall—well over six foot—and in his early forties, if she had to hazard a guess. His jet-black hair was graying at the temples, and fine silver lines weaved an artistic path across his head. It gave him a distinguished look, a regal presence, as if he was a member of old royalty or some lauded dynasty. The curve of his taut jawline and the smooth even lines of his skin revealed a face that was remarkably well preserved for a man of his years. Frowning, she wondered if her initial assessment of his age was wide of the mark.

One thing she was sure of: He was the most beautiful man she’d ever met. Mesmerized, she couldn’t look away.

That assessment held until she zeroed in on his eyes, which were a startling azure blue at first glance. Upon closer inspection, she spotted the cold, harsh, inhumane glare lying underneath. His eyes scanned the line of her body with barely contained disgust, and she shivered despite the warm blanket of air encasing her on all sides. When his eyes fixed on hers, she drew in a sharp gasp at the blatant hostility reflected in his stare.

Outwardly, he may look like a man, but she knew, deep down inside, he wasn’t human.

Terror spiked inside her, yet strangely, she found herself taking his offered hand and swinging her legs off the elevated bed.

“We’re so glad you could join us, Doctor,” he said in that weird intonation, his words clearly at odds with his chilling facial expression. He made it sound like she’d accepted a formal dinner invite when this was a clinical case of alien abduction. Fear battled with acceptance in her mind as she placed one foot in front of the other.

She walked alongside him, the woman trailing at their heels. He led her down a sleek passageway and brought her into a huge room, which appeared to be a personal chamber of sorts. Only then did Evana heed her surroundings.

Large tinted glass windows rimmed the perimeter of the room on all sides, granting her a breath-stealing front row seat. Earth was clearly visible in the frame, like a gigantic circular blue ball with sporadic green and white streaks crisscrossing the circumference. Stars twinkled and sparkled against the inky black backdrop of outer space.

She stumbled clumsily as the reality of the situation hit her full force. The man slung an arm around her waist and steadied her. “Take a seat.”

She slumped down on the narrow couch.

The woman moved her hand in a graceful sweeping motion, and a holographic screen materialized in the space in front of them. Evana tried to swallow her fear at the displayed image of her husband and son. Failing, she let out a strangled cry.

“Cooperate and they will come to no harm. Refuse and you will never see them again.” The woman spoke without any trace of emotion, any hint of hesitation.

“What do you want from me?” Evana asked in a shaky voice.

“We require your psychological expertise,” the man responded.

“For what purpose?” Wrapping her arms around herself, Evana fought to stave off the violent trembling taking hold of her.

“We need you to train us how to behave like humans. How to emulate their actions and thought processes.”

“Why?” Evana asked the question though she dreaded the reply.

“Because, when the time comes, we want to blend in without detection.”

A messy ball of emotion pressed down on Evana’s chest as his words sunk in. Staring at the image of her husband and son, a single tear slid down her cheek. An amused grin tugged up the corners of his mouth.

“I don’t have a choice, do I?”

He shook his head.

She paused considerably before responding. Knowing she was making a deal with the devil, she also understood she was damned no matter what choice she made. “Okay.”

“Perfect.” He rose to his full height. “Leave us, Leandra.” He dismissed the woman with a disrespectful wave of his hand.

“My king.” She bowed at the waist.

As she walked out of the room, she threw a scathing look at Evana. It was a look loaded with vengeful promise. Evana’s whole body shuddered as repressed fear surged into every cell, every tissue, every nerve ending.

“This way,” the king said, gesturing with his hand. “Let me introduce you to your students.”

CHAPTER 1

The stench of stale sweat, unwashed skin, and rancid body odor assaults my nostrils and I gag. The temperature in the carriage must be pushing ninety degrees, and a steady line of sweat coasts down my spine, gluing my shirt to my back. A craving to crawl out of my skin hits me like a bullet to the chest.

It’s not a new sentiment. It’s an urge I feel at least once every hour.

A potent desire to be anyone but myself.

To live any life but this one.

Heat rolls off the large body behind me, and the man grunts. The desire to shed my skin accelerates, and I shudder uncontrollably. Everywhere I look, I’m confronted by a sea of grimy bodies in dirty, sweat-encrusted work clothes. Being short sucks almost all the time, but being stuck in the middle of an overcrowded, bursting-at-the-seams subway carriage, during one of the hottest heat waves New York has known, sucks butt on a stratospheric level, and has me cursing the genes that stalled my growth at five feet one.

Claustrophobia swoops in, surrounding me in an anxiety-laced cloud. I know I’ve reaching my tipping point.

I can’t bear this a second longer.

With my lungs screaming for air, I push my way forward and fling myself out onto the platform in the nick of time. The train eases out of the station as my legs make a break for freedom. I bound up the stairs two at a time, my entire being straining for release.

Bursting out of the station gate, I slow my pace, and my breathing returns to normal. I set out in a westerly direction. The setting sun leaves a dull orangey-red trail in its wake as it rapidly falls in the advancing nighttime sky. Nevertheless, it’s still hot as hell.

My eye flits to the holographic Commi-Reel projected in the sky against the backdrop of the fading day, and I shriek when I spot the time. Dammit! I’m going to be late. If I breach curfew again, that will make it three times this month.

My parents will literally kill me.

My body clearly understands the criticality of the situation as my legs move of their own accord, and I start pounding the pavement.

High-rise residential blocks encroach on all sides as I run. The tall, gray concrete slab constructions fill the skies as far as my eyes can see. Intermittent, drab storefronts are the only break in the monotony of my surroundings. Each Sector mirrors the previous one. Dense, thick smog fills the air and I splutter at regular intervals as my lungs claw for something clean and fresh to inhale.

There isn’t a sinner in sight.

Of course, there isn’t.

Most of them are already crammed into their boxy apartments or en route home via the sweaty death trap they call a subway. A rapid-transit high-velocity transportation system has been in operation in the Core and Midi Circles since before my birth, but here in the Outer Circle, we have to resort to using the old New York subway system despite the safety risks and considerable concerns.

Last year’s massive subway crash cost thousands of lives, but the government stubbornly refuses to extend the Velo network to the Outer Sectors. Lack of finances was spouted. A likely story. Irrespective of protests to the contrary, the lower classes are more than expendable and don’t we know it. I’d bet my miserable life the government arranged the crash themselves.

That’s one unique way of tackling the mounting overpopulation crisis.

I round the corner into Sector Seventeen. Three more to go but my legs already ache. Squinting up at the Commi-Reel, I clock the time and mentally calculate the distance. Twenty-four minutes until curfew. Two miles to run. If I can maintain this pace, I might make it. If I’m lucky.

But Mother Luck never shines on me.

Wiping my hand across my moist forehead, I stumble sideways as my body slams full force into an Imposer. Landing unceremoniously on my ass, I wince as a dart of pain shoots up my spine.

A metallic hand is extended and I’m pulled to my feet. “Wrist, please,” he commands. This one talks in a human voice, so I know he’s part of the Robo-Police force—part-human, part-robot, and not one of the pure cloned kind.

Flipping my arm, I reluctantly obey, thrusting my wrist upward as the Imposer scans my skin. “Sadie Owens. Seventeen years of age. Sector Fourteen. Medi-Tech employee number 133779. It’s twenty-three minutes to curfew. What are you doing out on the streets?”

I’m reluctantly impressed. He said all that without drawing a breath. “Um, I … I felt sick,” I lie, glancing at the dwindling time ticking away on the digital clock. I need to get out of here and fast. “So I had to get off the subway and make it home on foot.”

“Two infractions already this month.” He scans the holographic report skimming over the film of his eyes. “Don’t make it a third. Move on.”

I maneuver around him and start sprinting. I’m never going to make it now. Mom will be furious. I’m mentally preparing myself for a tongue lashing when the latest government news bulletin blares out from the Commi-Reel.

The announcement is typical. Updates on the political talks between the Sovereign Northern States of America—our ruling government—and the newly Unified States of West and South America. The Independent Republic of Central America and the Eastern Seaboard States have yet to throw their hat into the ring.

I zone out. Same old, same old.

None of the proposed reforms will do anything to change my life or alter my fate. I’m stuck right where I am until I die. Unless …

My mind wanders and I drift off into La-La Land. I dream about Thalassic City. About opportunity. And second chances. About actually living.

The sound of gunfire breaks through my reverie, and my eyes dart to the screen. Screeching to a halt, I blink twice in case my eyes are deceiving me.

PRISON BREAK.

The words flicker in and out on the screen, and I stand there with my mouth agape as I watch the recording of the daring convict escape.

Six men. Five days on the run. All orchestrated by one prisoner.

Something like this has never happened before. At least not in my lifetime.

Wow.

ARMED AND DANGEROUS. WATSON MANLY ELEVATED TO NO.1 ON MOST WANTED LIST. IF SPOTTED, DO NOT APPROACH. CALL 1-899-201-304. REWARD FOR INFORMATION LEADING TO HIS CAPTURE.

I wonder what this Watson Manly person did to deserve a spot in the penitentiary and how he managed to escape. Although I don’t know him, and I’ve no idea what crime he’s committed, I’m already rooting for him.

Not sure what that says about me.

A loud peel of laughter travels up my throat. Something out of the ordinary has finally happened, and it sends a spark of electricity directly to the dull lump in my chest.

I start to run but stop mid-jog. Nineteen minutes to curfew. I’m screwed now anyway, so I might as well give my lungs and my legs a break. I stroll forward at a more leisurely pace, ignoring the panic waiting in the wings.

As I approach the next Sector, I’m half-watching the rest of the news on the screen and half-lost in my obsessive inner monologue, when a hand snags my elbow and I’m yanked sideways.

I scream as a hand clamps down over my mouth and I’m hauled backward against a solid form. I’m dragged roughly through a door, my feet trailing the ground in front of me. Adrenaline surges through my veins, and I twist and turn in my captor’s arms.

“Dammit. Stop squirming. I won’t hurt you,” a gruff male voice says.

Raising my legs in front of me, I swing back and kick him in the shins. He cusses but his hold doesn’t loosen.

Of course, it doesn’t; a kick in the shins from me is probably akin to a feather-tickling.

Tugging me down a darkened passageway, he lashes out at something on the ground, and the sounds of telltale scurrying fill the air. I emit a muffled scream.

“Keep quiet or he’ll find you.”

My frantic breathing echoes in the quiet space.

“I’m going to release you if you promise not to scream. I repeat. I will not hurt you. Tap my arm in agreement.”

Reaching up, I land my hand briefly on his arm. Bunched tendons strain under my fingertips.

Slowly, he releases me and I try to get my errant breathing under control. I’m only short of a full-blown anxiety attack. “I want to show you something. Come on.” He acts as if he’s my new best friend; as if this is totally normal. Straightening up, I risk a peek at my captor. Long, shaggy, dark hair falls to his broad shoulders. Warm, brown eyes meet mine and I swallow, hard. He towers over me.

Then again, most people do.

In my head, I weigh up my chances of a successful escape as my eyes dart to the door.

“Don’t run.” He astutely assesses the situation. “I promise I won’t hurt you. It’s not safe to be out there right now. If you follow me, I’ll show you why.”

Biting down on my lip, I’m dubious, but realistic enough to know that I can’t outrun him.

“This way.”

Wary, I follow him, taking small, tentative steps. The room is large and dark and visibility is poor. My feet crunch on litter and debris as I walk across the space toward the window. A damp, squalid smell fills the air, and I slap my hand over my mouth. A few shapes are huddled over a makeshift fire in the center of the floor. Hushed voices talk lowly. Intense shuddering rocks my body and I drag in a gulp of air.

This was a bad, bad idea. I hover uncertainly.

“Look,” my captor says, beckoning me. He stares out the dirty, blackened window.

I inch toward him, careful to keep a reasonable distance. Peeking out, I spot the black and amber Police Autovee parked across the street. A formidable figure steps out, clad in the official State Police uniform. His jacket buckles under the myriad of shiny buttons adorning the front.

“That’s Commissioner Williams,” I acknowledge, recognizing him instantly. His face is always plastered over the Commi-Reels, and I feel as if I know him on a personal level. “Why is he in the Outer Circle?” I wrinkle my nose. Few dignitaries grace our shores for fear of being heckled, mugged, shot, or worse.

“Watch.”

Gulping, I watch the scene unfolding across the pavement. A police officer appears in the doorframe clutching two clearly frightened young girls. The girls are flung roughly into the back of the Autovee, and the Commissioner climbs in the front passenger seat, glancing surreptitiously around him before the door closes. The vehicle glides away and I slump against the window. Remembering my surroundings, I flinch back and scrub my hands down my arms.

“What’s going on?” I eyeball my captor.

“I’m not quite sure, but from what I’ve gleaned so far, they show up in one of the Sectors of the Outer Circle on a nightly basis, and it’s always the same deal. Two girls taken away from their families. Never to be seen or heard from again. I saw you walk by and I was afraid they would notice you.”

“How do you know all this?” I pin him with a probing look.

“Let’s say I have certain contacts who are very well-informed about the goings on in our society. And, um, certain skills that enable me to find out things that I shouldn’t be able to.”

My eyes sweep his face, noting the layer of dirt sticking to his skin, the tiny amber fleck in his chocolate brown eyes, his strong masculine nose, and the advanced discoloration of his teeth. There’s a softness to his features.

He won’t hurt me. I’m certain of it. In fact, I think he just saved me.

The last vestiges of my stress flee. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He rocks back on his heels. “What’s a pretty girl doing alone on the streets at this hour? You do realize it’s almost the eight p.m. curfew?”

A rosy red flush blooms in my cheeks. Self-consciously, I tuck my wavy, silvery ash blonde hair behind my ears. No one has called me pretty before. Dumb, selfish, idiot, fool, and freak are more the types of sentiments I’m used to. “Um, I know.” I shift from foot to foot. “I better get going. My mom is going to string me up.”

Booming music blares from the Commi-Reel attracting both our attention. I lean into the grimy windowpane—earlier disgust forgotten—as the image of Thalassic City appears on the edge of the screen. It could be my imagination, but I swear my captor sways toward it too.

President Bane addresses the nation. “Today we stand on the cusp of stupendous change.”

I snort and my captor chuckles. That man always sounds like he’s ingested a dictionary along with a box full of silver spoons.

“Our evolutionary journey takes the next logical step forward with the imminent announcement of the commencement of ‘The Experimento.’ Those selected will be contacted within the next hour. Thank you to all those brave souls who registered their interest. Your willingness to support your government as we attempt to tackle the problems, which plague our society, is more than admirable. On behalf of the government of the Sovereign Northern States of America, I thank you for your commitment and loyalty. And to those individuals chosen, I wish you the best of luck. Know that you carry with you the hopes, desires, and aspirations of the nation.”

The President’s broadcast cuts out; however, the Commi-Reel continues to display image after image of the Thalassic City experiment. I’m spellbound as I stare at the magical new city under the sea.

“It’s the coming of the end. You mark my words,” a gravelly voice says at my ear, and I swear I jump ten feet off the ground.

“John,” my captor says to the bedraggled older man standing in front of me. “Not this again. You’re scaring her.”

“It’s not me she should be scared of.” He drags dirty fingers through his straggly, coarse, gray beard. “They’re coming and there isn’t a damn thing any of us can do to stop them. I couldn’t stop them. They took everything. This is the beginning of the end. We are all doomed.” He waggles his finger in my face, and I step back, alarm clearly evident on my features. He stares at me a moment longer before shuffling off, muttering to himself.

I stand rooted to the spot, too freaked out to move.

“Sorry about that.” My captor shoves his large hands in his pants pocket. “Don’t mind old John. He’s a bit delusional these days.” He taps a long finger against his temple. “But he means no harm.”

Self-preservation kicks me in the butt, and the need to flee propels me into action. “I need to get home.”

“Of course. Come on.” He lifts one shoulder and gestures for me to follow. “I know a few shortcuts. Curfew has nearly expired, and you don’t want to be found wandering the streets now.”

I hesitate, fear welling inside me again. While I don’t know him, and technically, he’s kidnapped me, if he wanted to harm me, I figure he would’ve done so by now. And I’ve already accepted that his motivation was to protect me from capture, so it’s silly to be hesitant now.

Decision made, I shadow him as we walk farther and farther into the abandoned building. “Which Sector do you live in?” he asks when we emerge onto an empty sidewalk. Streaks of navy, gray, and black hover over our heads as nighttime stealthily creeps up on us.

“Fourteen.”

“Right. This way.”

We move from one derelict building to the next, dashing across back alleys and crumbling passageways. I’ve no idea where we’re going but I’m not afraid. A small part of me actually wishes I didn’t have to leave him.

That I didn’t have to return to a life I hate.

Thoughts of Thalassic City waft through my mind, and I let my imagination wander. How amazing would it be to trade this life for one with so much promise, and the prospect of a different future? For a split second, I allow myself to imagine that I’ve been chosen, and my heart swells with joy at the prospect.

I recall my most recent tarot session and the hope it instilled in me. While I try not to exercise my talent for reading the cards too often—my grandma always advised against it—I couldn’t help it after I registered my interest in Thalassic City. I was too eager to see what the cards would predict. The three cards I’d pulled were major arcana cards, which are indicative of a life-changing event. It points to something transformative in my future, and since my reading, I’ve done little else but think about what it means, hoping it means what I want it to mean.

Please pick me. Please pick me. Please, please, please, PICK ME. My thoughts are a silent plea, a cherished inner mantra the whole journey home.

“What you thinking about?” he asks, a few minutes later. He lowers his chin and his eyes penetrate mine.

“Thalassic City,” I blurt out, in a moment of unusual transparency. I normally keep things close to my chest.

It comes naturally.

The consequence of living in a family where I’m virtually invisible. Where little regard is given to what I think, what I feel, and hardly anyone asks whether I hope or what I dream.

“Did you enter?” He speaks quietly.

I nod, biting down on my lower lip. I haven’t told anyone that, and now I’ve blabbed my secret to a total stranger.

It’s weirdly exhilarating.

Hope swarms through me and my silent mantra starts up again.

“Me too.”

We stare at each other, unspoken words passing between us. Wouldn’t it be great if we were both chosen? It would be nice to go in there semi-knowing at least one other person. That’s what I think but I don’t verbalize it. After all, I am the queen of keeping things locked up inside.

“What’s your name?” He steps out of the shadows, and the glow of the rising moon lights up his face.

I get a proper look at him for the first time—he looks so young! Not that much older than me. “Sadie. What’s yours?”

“Um.” His face contorts and he looks away.

I frown.

Schooling his features carefully, he stares at me, as if he’s contemplating the weight of the world. His eyes search mine expectantly, and the image resurrects in perfect clarity in my mind.

“Oh my God,” I exclaim, stepping back. “You’re him! You’re Watson M—”

He fastens his hand over my mouth. “Shush, not out here.” His head whips around as he scouts the area. Removing his hand, he drags his fingers through unkempt hair. “Are you going to turn me in?”

“No.” The word shoots out of my mouth with urgency. Despite the fact that my family could use the substantial reward money, there’s no way I’m turning snitch for the State. I don’t care what he’s done or alleged to have done. I just know he isn’t a bad person. I couldn’t do that to him.

“Why not?”

It’s a perfectly reasonable question. One I’m not quite sure how to respond to. “I don’t know,” I answer honestly.

He looks at me anxiously.

“You’re not a bad person. And I’m not a snitch,” I add, hoping it conveys my sentiments adequately.

Air whooshes out of his mouth and he smiles. “You’re a good person, Sadie. I hope you get picked.”

We enter the backend of Sector Fourteen five minutes later. “I’ll have to leave you here, Sadie,” Watson says.

“Thank you. And good luck.”

“You too.” He holds my two small hands in his larger ones and squeezes. “I hope we meet again.” And with those parting words lingering in my ears, he ducks back down the alley and disappears.

Leaning against the wall, I crane my neck and stare up at the dark sky. Today had started out like every other mind-numbingly boring day. But boy, it sure didn’t end up like that. Caught up in the adventure of the absurdly abnormal, I can almost deflect my growing hysteria.

Almost.

I’m over twenty minutes late now, and I know I’m in for it the minute I step foot in the apartment. But I actually don’t care.

It was worth it to feel truly alive if only for a fleeting moment in time.

As soon as I walk through the door, the onslaught starts. Mom screams. Dad shakes his head in disappointment, and my elder brothers take turns throwing scathing remarks at me. Only my sister, Ella, remains quiet. She shoots me a “grin and bear it” look. They only stop when the screen flares to life and the official announcement of my curfew breach is confirmed.

Mom curses as one hundred Nuvis are deducted from our family currency account. I sit down in the only vacant chair and zone out. Ignoring the shrieking voices and hate-filled faces, I stare blankly in front of me.

Every second that passes, I die a little more inside.

I deploy my usual strategy. Throwing up my imaginary shield, I visualize a thick, solid brick wall laced with barbed wire on top in my mind’s eye.

Please pick me. I make one last silent, solemn plea to every deity known to mankind as a solitary tear escapes my eye. Quickly, I brush it away. I never lower my defense or show any signs of weakness in front of them. My family doesn’t falter and the horrific verbal insults endure.

One would think I’d be well used to this by now.

I briefly drop my guard and latch onto Mom’s current tirade.

“What a pity they didn’t introduce the ban a year earlier, and then you’d never have been born. What did I do to deserve such a disobedient, selfish fool for a daughter?”

I zone out again.

The TV flickers to life a second time, and my ears are given a merciful reprieve. Hope blooms to life in my chest. “Sadie Owens.” My head darts to the screen and I stare at the tall, thin brunette with pinched features staring back at me.

“Yes.” I jump out of the chair.

“You’ve been chosen to participate in ‘The Experimento.’ You have thirty minutes to pack your belongings and make your goodbyes.”

Copyright © Siobhan Davis 2015

If you enjoyed this sample, you can read this book (and the entire series) for free in Kindle Unlimited.

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BOOKS BY SIOBHAN DAVIS

True Calling Series

True Calling – Book 1

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Lovestruck – Short Story 1.5

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Beyond Reach – Book 2

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Light of a Thousand Stars –Novella 2.5

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Destiny Rising – Book 3

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True Calling Series Collection

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Coming Summer 2016 – The True Calling Short Story Collection

Anthologies

The Little Book of Love – Imagine Write Inspire Group

Saven Series

Saven: Deception – Book 1

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Saven: Disclosure – Book 2

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Saven: Denial – Novella 2.5

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Saven: Defiance – Book 3

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Saven: Declaration – Book 4*

*Pre-order available September 2016. Publication December 2016.

Optional Saven Series Novellas – coming 2016/2017

The Princess and the Guard

The Royal Guard

The Assassin

The Heir and the Human

NEW SERIES FOR 2017

The Mortal Kingdom – YA Fantasy

The Skyee Siblings – NA spin-off to the True Calling series

All books are available in all Amazon locations. If your link isn’t included please check your local Amazon store.

Copyright

Copyright © Siobhan Davis 2015.

Siobhan Davis asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions.

Work of Fiction

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, incidents and dialogues are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictiously. Any resemblance to actual people, living or dead, or events is entirely coincidental.

Conditions of Sale

By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of the Author.

E-Book edition © August 2015

This edition June 2016

ISBN: 978-0-9929304-6-2

Editor: Kelly Hartigan (XterraWeb) editing.xterraweb.com

Cover design by Kremena Stoqnova

Cover image © 123RF.com

Formatting by Polgarus Studio