Hozho: A Navajo Nation Medicine Woman's Exploration of the Four Bodies of Existence for Balance and Self-Reclamation
Author: Granddaughter Crow
Date: 2026-05-05 07:00:00+00:00
Keywords: Body; Mind & Spirit; Inspiration & Personal Growth; Social Science; Indigenous Studies; Psychology; Psychotherapy; Jungian
Description: **Discover the Four Bodies of Existence—reshape your self-knowledge, empower your story, and embody a happier, healthier life A revelatory guide and a vital invitation rooted in Indigenous wisdom from author Granddaughter Crow** What if our inner narrative—the conscious and subconscious story we tell ourselves about who we are and what we can accomplish—is wrong? What if we can better understand who we are, by listening more closely to what our entire beings are trying to teach us? And what if that new story can lead us to far more fulfilling futures? That is the promise of a frame-changing ne
Publisher: North Atlantic Books

CONTENTS

Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Other Books by Granddaughter Crow
Foreword

PART I: Your Internal World and Authentic Voice

1. Self-Knowledge
2. Self-Empowerment
3. Self-Actualization

4. 1: Four Bodies of Existence

1. Belief Systems
2. The Intelligence of Each Body
3. Balance and Alignment

5. 2: Physical and Gut Intelligence

1. The Intelligence of Reflexes and Survival
2. DNA Memory
3. Challenges in Listening to Our Gut
4. Examples of Gut Intelligence

6. 3: Emotional and Heart Intelligence

1. The Intelligence of Radiating and Connecting

2. Connecting with the Natural World
3. Challenges in Listening to Our Heart
4. Examples of Heart Intelligence

7. 4: Mental and Brain Intelligence

1. The Intelligence of Reasoning and Planning
2. The Divided Brain
3. Challenges in Listening to Our Brain

4. Using Mental Intelligence for a Balanced Future

5. Examples of Brain Intelligence

8. 5: Spiritual and Soul Intelligence

1. The Intelligence of Knowing and Guiding
2. Challenges in Listening to Our Soul
3. Examples of Soul Intelligence

9. 6: How They All Work Together

1. Integration of the Four Bodies

2. Examples

PART II: Internal Narrative and External Application

1. 7: Identifying Your Role in Your Internal Narrative

1. Twelve Major Archetypes

2. Twelve Zodiac Signs

2. 8: Where Does Our Internal Narrative Come From?

1. Different Stages of Formation

2. Other Factors

3. 9: Examine Your Internal Narrative

4. 10: How to Change or Adjust Your Internal Narrative

1. The Four Bodies Application
2. Approach with Curiousity
3. Meet the Guardian at the Threshold
4. The Hero’s Journey

5. 11: What Happens Once Your Internal Narrative Changes Conclusion

1. Changes in the Physical Body: Body Language and Communication

2. Changes in the Emotional Body: Emotional Intelligence and Sensitivity

3. Changes in the Mental Body: Knowledge and Mental Clarity

4. Changes in the Spiritual Body: Spiritual Light Shining Through

5. Ideas, Approaches, and Notions

Endnotes
Index
About the Author
About North Atlantic Books

Guide

1. Cover
2. Title Page
3. Front Matter
4. Dedication
5. Foreword

6. PART I: Your Internal World and Authentic Voice

7. Start Reading

8. PART II: Internal Narrative and External Application

9. Endnotes
10. Index
11. About the Author
12. About North Atlantic Books

Pages
i
ii
iii
iv
vii
viii
ix
x
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
33
34
35
36
37
38
39
40
41
42
43
45
46
47
48
49
50
51
52
53
54
55
56
57
58
59
60
61
62
63
64
65
66
67
68
69
70
71
72
73
75
76
77
78
79
80
81
82
83
84
85
86
87
88
89
90
91
93
94
95
96
97
98
99
100
101
102
103
104
105
106
107
108
109
110
111
112
113
114
115
116
117
118
119
120
121
122
123
124
125
126
127
128
129
130
131
132
133
134
135
136
137
139
140
141
142
143
144
145
146
147
148
149
150
151
152
153
154
155
156
157
158
159
160
161
162
163
164
165
166

Hózhǫ́

A Navajo Nation Medicine Woman's Exploration of the Four Bodies of Existence for Balance and Self-Reclamation

Granddaughter Crow

Copyright © 2026 by Granddaughter Crow. All rights reserved. No portion of this book, except for brief review, may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any form or by any means without the written permission of the publisher. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner for the purposes of training artificial intelligence technologies or systems.

North Atlantic Books
Huichin, unceded Ohlone land
2526 Martin Luther King Jr Way
Berkeley, CA 94704 USA
www.northatlanticbooks.com

Cover art © Nitchalee Narathat viaGetty Images
Cover design by Jess Morphew
Book design by Happenstance Type-O-Rama

Hózhǫ́: A Navajo Nation Medicine Woman's Exploration of the Four Bodies of Existence for Balance and Self-Reclamation is sponsored and published by North Atlantic Books, an educational nonprofit that collaborates with partners to develop cross-cultural perspectives; nurture holistic views of art, science, the humanities, and healing; and seed personal and global transformation by publishing work on the relationship of body, spirit, and nature.

North Atlantic Books’s publications are distributed to the US trade and internationally by Penguin Random House Publisher Services. For further information, visit our website at www.northatlanticbooks.com.

The authorized representative in the EU for product safety and compliance is Eucomply OÜ, Pärnu mnt 139b-14, 11317 Tallinn, Estonia, hello@eucompliancepartner.com, +33757690241.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Granddaughter Crow, 1970- author

Title: Hozho : Indigenous psychologies for aligning the body, heart, mind,
and spirit to reclaim your authentic self / Granddaughter Crow.

Other titles: Indigenous psychologies for aligning the body, heart, mind,
and spirit to reclaim your authentic self

Description: Huichin, unceded Ohlone land, Berkeley, California : North

Atlantic Books, [2026] | Includes bibliographical references and index.

| Summary: “Discover the Four Bodies of Existence--reshape your
self-knowledge, empower your story, and embody a happier, healthier
life. A revelatory guide and a vital invitation rooted in Indigenous
wisdom from author Granddaughter Crow.”-- Provided by publisher.

Identifiers: LCCN 2025036625 (print) | LCCN 2025036626 (ebook) | ISBN

9798889841999 paperback | ISBN 9798889842002 epub

Subjects: LCSH: Indians of North America--Psychology | Self-actualization

(Psychology) | Mind and body

Classification: LCC E98.P95 G73 2026 (print) | LCC E98.P95 (ebook)

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2025036625

LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2025036626

You walked a path of silence that no one understood.

You’ve done so many great things that no one else could.

You showed me a guiding light of what a leader knows;

A humble type of leader, a student in teacher’s clothes.

• • •

I am dedicating this book to my father I am proud to be a part of his bloodline, to be his little Joy-Joy He spent his life as a medicine man under the Christian religion—which they refer to as a Reverend It is with great honor that I dedicate this book to you, Reverend Jackson Yazzie of the Navajo Nation (1932–2023)

Other Books by Granddaughter Crow

1. Journey of the Soul
2. Wisdom of the Natural World
3. Belief, Being, and Beyond
4. Shamanism & Your Shadow

Foreword

I cannot begin to realize the knowledge I possess until I need it. As an author and a professional psychic, it seems everything I know is worthless until it’s necessary for me to share it with others—because it’s not all mine. I share what I channel, and what I know, when I’m asked for it or when I’m teaching others how to discover their own wisdom.

What this book has done for me, among other things, is to expand that knowledge, to help me perceive my life and the lives of others in a different way. I can now honestly say that I know my very being holds all the power and, yes, intelligence that the universe shares with me.

For my entire adult life, my experiences have led me to follow the Mind-Body-Spirit approach to most everything. What I haven’t definitively looked at is the concept of the four bodies of existence—the Physical, the Emotional, the Mental, and the Spiritual—that Granddaughter Crow outlines in this book.

Discovering how much more we can be brings change to our own world. Our part in the world can change, or it can remain stagnant our entire lives. Learning to probe and prompt ourselves to find our true self creates opportunities to enjoy ourselves along our own personal journey, and it can also allow others the chance to change their own paths—merely by being our true authentic self.

I have to admit that I have never fully claimed my own greatness, even though I’ve written an entire book about discovering it. Part of the reason I haven’t totally fulfilled my own (ever-changing) purpose is that I haven’t fully embraced all parts of myself. Looking at ourselves through a different lens can allow us to begin making necessary changes—not for others, but for us, individually. It makes for a more satisfying experience.

We are not simply who we are judged to be. Nor are we who we are just because of how we were raised. But these influences help to form our nature, as we move from childhood into adulthood. However, there is a difference between merely existing and truly living your best life. And, once we make that discovery, we can finally begin to adjust what we think of ourselves and who we believe we can become.

There are many factors that affect who we are, from zodiac signs (determined by when and where we are born) to cultural and societal norms. But when we are able to fully comprehend the possibility that there may be more we are meant to accomplish and experience, we can step into our own power. First, we need to adjust our internal narrative, that voice and feeling inside. I used to believe this stemmed from our mind-body-spirit connection, but now I unequivocally realize that it is the four bodies of existence that help to guide us and open us to the reality that can be ours.

The history of our lives and the lives of our ancestors plays a role in why we are who we are, but learning this history also offers the opportunity to discover why you don’t have to remain who you were any longer—if you desire to change.

Granddaughter Crow opens us to many different methods of creating greatness from chaos, helping us find balance and full thought consciousness. Through studying and understanding our internal world as well as our external world, we can achieve things we may have believed to be unattainable. What is very important to note here is that we all have our own journey, our own pathway of discovery—a notion that Granddaughter Crow embraces as well.

I am 100 percent a hands-on learner. Though I’ve written many books on the subject of intuition and development, I find it is difficult for me to comprehend (and more importantly, retain) the wisdom of other self-help authors without some form of reinforcement. This book not only shares incredibly significant information but gently guides us to our own valuable interpretations of what that information means to us, personally. Granddaughter Crow teaches us how to do this through pertinent and relatable exercises.

In many ways, I feel I have been living as an imposter. What I’ve found through this voyage of self-discovery is not just what I know to be true already but also what I thought I knew, but didn’t. As a mother, a wife, and a professional psychic, healer, and teacher, I love who I can be. I embrace who I can be. I look forward to accepting who I can be, without putting up blocks, and without simply being who others expect me to be. And, let’s face it, I am a professional psychic—it’s pretty much an unproven phenomenon, a connection to the universe that is metaphysical and generally intangible. I can’t allow myself to cave in to the norms of society or the judgments of others and not be who I am. It’s easier for me now, when I investigate my own internal narrative, to uncover where my doubts about myself and the direction of my life stem from.

Granddaughter Crow shares so much about her own upbringing and her own internal narrative that she creates a safe space for us to do the same. It’s an invitation to unearth what holds us back and, in turn, what can help us move forward with joy and even excitement. Does this mean it will be easy to discern everything and make the necessary changes? Of course not. But we now have the tools to aid us in pointing our compass toward our greatness.

When we encounter our own barriers to happiness it can, at times, be difficult to crash through them to the other side. Grandmother Crow calls this resistance the guardian, protecting the threshold of our outer limits—our own personal obstruction keeping us in our already developed circle of knowing, being, and existing. When we are able to meet the guardian at the front line, we have the capacity to almost shake hands with them and move past them. And this leads us to what we don’t know, or the unknown. I know how this feels. I know how simple it is to give up and let the guardian keep me in line. But I also know how good it feels to get to the other side. And so does Granddaughter Crow.

I am so excited you’ve chosen to read this book by such an amazing author and person. Granddaughter Crow shares so much about her upbringing, opening herself up in a way that allows me to relate—not in every way, but in many ways. She shares her internal world with us, without prejudice, so we can understand all she has overcome and encountered throughout her own life. She does this to help us. She wrote this book to help us. Through her exposure of who she is and who she endeavors to be, we can learn so much about our own journey.

Thank you, to all that picked this book to help you on your own path, and most importantly, thank you to Granddaughter Crow for allowing her own vulnerabilities to help us all understand this natural world we live in!

—Melanie Barnum, international award-winning author of multiple books, including Real Life Intuition; certified hypnotist, intuitive counselor, and coach

PART I
Your Internal World and Authentic Voice

It is with great honor that I present to you this book. Within these pages, we will embark on a journey together to find balance and harmony within yourself, and, in turn, find balance and harmony within your life. It is designed to help you consciously choose a more purposeful life that aligns with who you are and what you bring to the world—because when you change, the world around you cannot help but change, too.

In part I, we will be examining the internal world, or the world within each of us. As a medicine woman (Shaman), I find that people frequently look for good counselors in the external world, overlooking their own internal council—the set of counselors or advisors that was given to us at birth. Our internal council is made up of not just the intellect of the brain and the mind, which is our ability to reason and to plan, but also the intellect of the physical body and our gut, which is related to our reflexes and sense of survival. The intellect of our heart and our emotions, as well, gives us our ability to resonate and connect with others. Finally, the intellect of our soul and spirit is an unseen dynamic force that connects and guides our life. The first part of this book is to help you to connect with these four aspects of your internal council, teaching you how to understand what it is telling you—how to hear yourself.

The model that we will be working with is the concept of the four bodies of existence: the physical body (gut), the emotional body (heart), the mental body (brain), and the spiritual body (soul). If we view each of these bodies as a part of our internal council, we can tap into a truly enormous intellect that each of us holds within ourselves. We will begin this journey together in order to discover who we are, ultimately (self-knowledge). We will also discover a deeper awakening within ourselves (self-empowerment) and understand how to come home to ourselves, as we were created to be (self-actualization). Ultimately, the purpose of this journey is to find harmony within ourselves, a concept that is known in the Navajo language as Hózhǫ́ (pronounced ho-shown). Hózhǫ́ is a way of being. It is the ability to walk in balance with oneself and, in turn, the ability to walk in harmony with the world around us; it gives us the ability to move through the world in a beautiful way. (In the chapters that follow I will provide examples of what this looks like in practice.)

In a world that constantly tells you who you should be, wouldn’t it be empowering to show up as your authentic self? Throughout my life, I have behaved as they told me to behave—but it didn’t feel like me. I have thought what they wanted me to think—but it didn’t feel like me. I felt the way they wanted me to feel—but it didn’t feel like me. I believed in what they asked me to believe in—but it didn’t feel like me. It is time to feel like me. And because I have walked this path, I invite you now to go with me on this incredible journey back to yourself, just as I have found myself.

I begin this book with a heart full of gratitude and respect for my father. My father was born in 1932 on the Navajo Reservation in New Mexico, USA. He was a full-blooded Navajo, or Diné (pronounced deh-nay), and his birth home was a hogan, the traditional dwelling of the Diné. His birth language was Navajo, and English became his second language. He was born to spiritual leaders within the community. His family lived off the land, and he came to be known as the best shepherd out of his six siblings. They grew corn and worked with the earth and spirit in a holy way. Raised in a traditional Navajo way, by traditional Navajo spiritual leaders, Hózhǫ́ was his way of life—to walk in harmony with the world around him.

My father was born at a time when Indigenous children were frequently taken from their birthplace and birth culture by the Colonizers and placed into residential and/or boarding schools. At that point in American history, there was only one way to think, one way to talk, and one way to be—and that way was not Navajo. My father was stripped of everything that he knew, everything that he had experienced, and everything that he was. His hair was cut; he was denied his language and his culture; he was denied his birthright as a Navajo spiritual leader; he was stripped of himself.

At this point in history, we are only just beginning to understand the truths of what happened within Indigenous residential and boarding schools within North America. While I am sure that there are many variations on my father’s story—he wasn’t the only one that this has happened to—I can only speak from the position of how I understand it, as his daughter, and how I have lived with it my whole life. I saw the plight of my father and how he survived through a removal from self, through a suppression of his own self-expression. To survive, we might follow a script that tells us to be something different than who our creator created us to be—to become dead to self in order to live in this world. I am here to change this faulty script.

As I am writing this, I am doing my best to stay true to myself, my connection with my dad, and my bloodline—to tell these stories in a raw, pure form, as I experienced them as a child. However, every now and then my fifty-plus-year-old voice will reflect on my experiences as an adult, using what I now know to speculate about who I was and how I came to be. As children, we take in so much information; however, it is not until we become adults that we understand what this information means. I will do my best to provide you with both perspectives. In this, you will see my childlike self trying to understand the world; there might be things that you read in this book that I am still coming to understand.

I want to share with you my authentic, raw story so that you can see my personal journey—and, in turn, give yourself permission to recognize your own personal journey. This journey is never black or white, good or bad, or enough or not enough—it simply is what it is. It is time to hear the full, unedited version of self—from both the recall of memory, and how we have come to understand the meaning of our memories.

Let’s remember—and re-member—our authentic self. Earlier I mentioned the concept of our four bodies of existence (physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual), and how they act as an internal council or advisory board providing us with wisdom. Let’s see what your physical body has to share with you; what your emotional body feels and senses about different situations; what your mind comprehends; and what guidance your spirit has for you. Let’s wake up the members of our council and give each of them a voice.

The purpose of this book is to show you that you are so much more than you might believe that you are. It provides you with scientific evidence that will lead toward greater self-knowledge, journal prompts for you to connect with yourself on a deeper level and lead toward self-empowerment, and tools for personal growth that lead toward self-actualization. Thank you for joining me.

Self-Knowledge

What is self-knowledge? It is the reward that follows from your dedication to learning who you are, authentically: your individual personality traits, the way that you approach the world around you, what moves your heart, your logical process, your creative process, your soul, and your spirit. One way to understand all of this is as your personal intelligence—not only the intelligence of your brain and your mind, but the intelligence of your physical body, emotional body, and spiritual body.

Once we begin to understand the intelligence of our complete self, we will begin to see a clearer picture of who we are. However, it is good to recognize that self-knowledge is not a static state of being but a dynamic state of continuous evolution. As Kahlil Gibran puts it, “The soul unfolds itself, like a lotus of countless petals.”[1] The journey toward self-knowledge is about getting connected with every wonderous part of who you are and the intelligence that you hold within your authentic self.

Self-Empowerment

What is self-empowerment? It is when you know that you have all of the skills within you and access to the resources outside of you to achieve your goals. It means that you have confidence in making the right decisions. It means that you know that you can and will take action as required. It means that you have the ability to move forward in a positive way, even if it becomes challenging.

Once you have developed a deep level of self-knowledge, the next step is to be brave enough to take action—knowing that if you start, you will succeed. Once you understand who you are, you will discover what you can do. As you continue to gain knowledge of yourself, your opportunities will increase. I understand that life is difficult, and that challenges will come up; however, I also know that if you have a sense of self, and feel empowered to be who you are, you are better equipped to handle whatever comes your way.

Self-Actualization

What is self-actualization? It is the final step of becoming—or continuing to become—your authentic self. When we self-actualize, we begin to truly know who we are and what we want in this world. We no longer need to impress others; we have achieved a higher level of understanding. I am the only person that I need to impress. I am the one that looks at myself in the mirror; I know what I want to see when I do.

Again, self-actualization is a dynamic, not a static, state of being; we are always evolving. Think of a butterfly. It started out as an egg, turned into a caterpillar, again changed into a chrysalis or cocoon, and finally transformed into a butterfly. Like the metamorphosis of the butterfly, self-actualization is natural and organic. Self-actualization also does not happen overnight: It includes who you were and everything that you have done. It is a part of your story. The point of self-actualization is to continue to become the authentic version of you.

Understanding who you are is self-knowledge. Self-knowledge will inevitably lead to a sense of self-empowerment; however, it may take a little practice to get used to and feel comfortable with the “new normal” of your empowered self. Once you both know yourself and feel empowered, self-actualization will help you to develop goals for personal growth and authentic expression of your self.

1
Four Bodies of Existence

There is a school of thought that we have four bodies of existence: the physical body, the emotional body, the mental body, and the spiritual body. As a medicine woman or Shaman, everything that I do is shaped by this school of thought. It is one of the ways that I see the world. The concept of the four bodies of existence is slightly different from thinking, “I am a spirit that experiences emotions and thoughts, housed within a physical body.” Instead, my worldview is that each of these parts of self has a body.

I am not here to tell you that one perspective is better or more valid than the other; I agree with both, and I believe that each one carries its own merit. However, in this book, I will be speaking from my personal perspective as a medicine woman working from this school of thought. It is important to note that other medicine people or Shamans might not share this perspective and, equally, that this school of thought goes beyond my spiritual practice—it is not a purely Indigenous worldview.

I don’t know how I initially learned about the concept of the four bodies of existence. It was simply a part of how I perceived the world—to the extent that I thought everybody thought this way. I realized in college that this wasn’t the case when I read a paper that my dad gave to me, written by a Navajo medicine lady, that outlined the four bodies. It puzzled me that she had to explain this concept, and that is when it truly dawned on me that this is not a common understanding. So I will share it with you now.

What does it mean to view the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual aspects of ourselves as bodies? Well, you may already understand that your physical body needs nourishment, exercise, and rest. So it is with each of your four bodies of existence. Providing nourishment, exercise, and rest to your physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual bodies creates a well-balanced life—this is the way of Hózhǫ́.

We can easily recognize that the maturity levels of each of the four bodies may differ from one another. However, the physical body is the only one of these four that is subjected and confined to space and linear time; the other three bodies can move in and out of space and time with ease. For example, if you hear a song on the radio that reminds you of a meaningful time in your past, your emotional body may feel like it is actually back there in that past space and time, even though your physical body is in the current space and time. Your mental body may be full of thoughts and memories that are so specific, one would think that they happened yesterday instead of years in the past. When this happens, your spiritual body or soul may feel uplifted. Hence, the physical body is the only body that is in the present moment and time, while the other three bodies can move back and forth in time.

The physical body also seems to be the only body that is on a linear timeline of maturing with every year. Doing something that we used to do when we were younger—dancing, singing, or just laughing—can cause our emotional, mental, and spiritual bodies to release a heavy weight, making us feel younger within those bodies. Yes, this may also cause our physical body to relax, reducing our worry lines and making us look younger—but our physical body is still on this linear timeline.

Even if the physical body of existence is subjected to linear space and time, when the other three bodies move through time, the physical body seems to experience it, too, to a certain extent. (The four bodies of existence can also be referred to as the four bodies of experience; I use these two terms interchangeably through this book.) Although we have four different bodies, each of them simultaneously affect the others: When the emotional, mental, and spiritual bodies are leaping through space and time, this can bring happiness or stress to our current physical body. Taking time to acknowledge each of the four bodies, and understanding that they are all interconnected, will help us live the way of Hózhǫ́—a well-rounded and balanced existence.

Here is another way to understand how the four bodies are distinct, yet interconnected. Consider the Vitruvian Man by Leonardo da Vinci—a portrait of balance, proportion, alignment, and equilibrium. When I view the Vitruvian Man, I also see the four bodies working together.

The physical body is shown as the figure of the man who is standing straight, with his legs together and arms stretched out horizontally. The emotional body is depicted by the body of the man with his legs spread apart and his arms extended at an angle. The mental body is represented by the square around the other two. Finally, the spiritual body is illustrated by the circle, which encompasses all the other bodies. This masterpiece provides us with a model, which reveals all the bodies working together in balance, proportion, alignment, and equilibrium—Hózhǫ́. All the four bodies are in the same place at the same time, yet they are each depicted as separate parts of the whole.

Belief Systems

Before we move forward, I would like to take a moment to explore the idea of our belief system—not necessarily our spiritual belief system, but rather what we believe ourselves to be. Throughout this book, we will be connecting with each of our four bodies, and we will be examining what each of them is telling us about our life and our decisions. This will help us establish our internal narrative—the story that is constantly playing in the background of our consciousness. Some of this work might be a little difficult; the journaling and other exercises that we will be working on together might challenge embedded beliefs that you have about who you are and what you deserve. I respect your belief system, and I am not trying to change it. However, if your beliefs about yourself are harming you, I hope that these tools will help you challenge harmful belief systems and free yourself to live a more authentic life.

Beliefs drive who we are, how we act, and how we interact with the world. To begin, we need to examine the differences between ideology and theology. I define the term ideology as a system of ideas and/or ideals; ideology is the basis of ideas and how they shape our worldview, including the things that you believe about yourself. At times we might believe healthy, positive things about ourselves and what we can achieve or expect in life. At other times we might believe the opposite—unhealthy or negative things about ourselves in the world. My hope is that this book will only challenge those unhealthy, limiting, negative ideas, encouraging a more positive ideology.

I define the term theology as a study of our position toward (or relationship with) a higher power. This higher power could be a deity or a sense of the divine, or it could be the natural world or science. Many of us were raised within a religion or theological worldview, and I have personally studied—and respect—many different religious belief systems. Some religions position us as children to a loving, parental divine presence. Some position us as sinners that need to be saved by a divine being. Some do not recognize a divine presence at all. And there are some that position us as the gods and goddesses. I am not here to say that any of these are right or wrong—I see many different aspects that can be useful at different times within our lives. My point is that as you work through the journal prompts in this book, you might find yourself bumping up against an old indoctrination—or creating a new, healthier one that better supports your authentic path forward.

We can also think about belief systems as responses to the big questions that we contemplate as human beings: How did I get here? How should I behave? Who am I? Where do I go when I die? Many individuals, when asked what their belief system is, will defer to religious beliefs. However, we should also take into consideration other major frameworks that form our belief system, such as philosophy and mythology.

The etymological root of the word philosophy is the Greek word philosophia, meaning “love of knowledge.” It refers to the study and development of beliefs based on the mind, or the positioning of the mind, in any given situation. Philosophy is based in the human experience and can exist without recognizing a supernatural or divine presence; it can exist on its own, without a theological basis. In contrast, a religion must incorporate a divine or supernatural presence in order to be called a religion. There are a variety of ideologies across different religious groups; however, each religion will hold a strong ideology and theological position of its own.

Myths and mythology help us come to terms with the idea that not everything can be explained, and that there is an order to life—whether natural or supernatural. In Greek mythology, the twelve Olympians assist us in understanding the attributes of different cosmic and supernatural forces. In the Egyptian mythological stories, we have deities such as Osiris, Isis, Horus, and Thoth, while Norse mythology features Odin, Thor, Frey, and Freya. Each mythological pantheon holds a similar ideology: that there are supernatural beings with powers that will support or destroy our world.

I believe that the purpose of mythology is to assist humans in understanding the world around them—to understand all the different situations that can take place in life. Mythology provides humans with multiple deities that can be called upon in their daily activities and within their lives: some help with farming, others with protection, childbirth, or death. Additionally, the theology of each of these mythologies is rooted in a polytheistic worldview (having multiple deities) and expresses a deeply felt value of culture and community that links people with their ancestors.

Individual belief systems can be very complex, especially when we take into consideration the many different things that can impact them like philosophy, religion, and mythology. Additionally, our belief systems can be influenced by our lived experiences. Examining our own belief systems—questioning what we believe about the world and about ourselves—can be difficult, but we can more easily navigate these questions by learning to listen to the intelligence of our four bodies.

The Intelligence of Each Body

In part 1 of this book, we will be examining each of the four bodies, their different functions, and their unique intelligences. Each of the four bodies has two aspects to them: the tangible and intangible, or the seen and unseen. Although our goal is to have all of these working together in tandem—Hózhǫ́—they each have a different purpose within our lives, and they each hold different intelligence and wisdom.

The physical body clearly exists within the physical realm; however, it also holds the intelligence of our reflexes and our sense of survival. We will refer to this intangible aspect of the physical body as the gut or gut check. This is the sensation that we feel within the physical body that guides us instinctively to respond quickly to a situation.

The emotional body is the intangible body of feelings and emotions. It is represented by a tangible organ within the body: the heart. It holds the intelligence of our sensations, meaning it holds the understanding of how we are emotionally feeling about any given situation. Although emotional intelligence has been looked down upon in some societies or seen as a weakness, I have seen the emotional body do heroic things. It holds the intelligence of our connections, and it can radiate love throughout the world.

The mental body exists as a tangible organ within our body: the brain. It also holds the intelligence of the mind, the intangible set of faculties for all mental phenomena. We perceive, think, reason, remember, and observe the world around us through the mind. When we say the word “intelligence,” we tend to be referring to the mind. This book is designed to introduce you to more of your intelligence than this. The mind is a beautiful thing—it helps us to reason and to plan—but it is not the entirety of our intellect.

Finally, the spiritual body also exists in two distinct forms. In many different cultures and theologies, there is a distinction between soul and spirit. For our purposes, I will outline each of these in a very basic way. The soul is what animates us: It is an aspect of our internal world that holds our personalities and our DNA memory—the history of humanity before us. It is a personalized and individualized signature that is as unique as a snowflake. When it leaves our physical body, it is evident that we are no longer there. In contrast, the spirit refers to the part of our internal world that connects with an unseen larger force—maybe the divine, or creator, or a deity. If the soul is our individual signature, the spirit is part of our collective signature. This intelligence simply knows, on a deeper level than the mental body, all of the most important things there are to know within our lifetime, and it can guide us accordingly.

As I mentioned above, although I am writing this book from the perspective of an Indigenous medicine woman, the concept of the four bodies is also recognized within other spiritual or esoteric communities—even if they might not be called the “four bodies.” In particular, we can find examples of working with the four bodies of existence within various earth-based practices, where they align with the four main elements of creation and all that is in the seen and unseen worlds. They are known as Earth, Water, Air, and Fire.

Here is the direct alignment of the elements and the four bodies:

1. The element of Earth aligns with the physical body and the physical, tangible realm—the realm that we can both see and touch. It is solid, like the physical body.

2. The element of Water aligns with the emotional body. Water flows and conforms to the objects around it—it can roll over us or take us into its wake. So it is with our emotional body: It, too, can roll over us in a wave or can flow freely.

3. The element of Air aligns with our mental body. Air blows one way and then another, just like our thoughts move and change directions. And, at times, both air and our thoughts can spin around.

4. The element of Fire aligns with our spiritual body. The fire sparks and comes to life, and when fueled it will burn and grow, effecting change around it. So it is with our spirit: When fueled, it will grow and bring change within our life and the lives around us.

When all of these elements are brought together within the natural world, they create wonderful things. Think of a walk in the forest, climbing to a mountaintop, a stroll on the beach, or an afternoon in your own backyard—these are different ways of how we may experience the landscapes that were created when these four elements come together.

Here is an example of what it looks like when the four bodies come together in Hózhǫ́. Have you ever heard of a Stradivarius? A Stradivarius is a stringed instrument made by the Stradivari family in the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries. Their instruments, particularly their violins, are known as some of the finest ever made and are collector’s items. It is said that the sound of a Stradivarius cannot be duplicated nor replicated—it is unique, just like you. You cannot be duplicated, nor can you be replicated—you are precious, and no one can be you except for you.

Let’s look at the four basic parts of the violin. Make no mistake—I am not a violinist, nor am I a music teacher, so this description will be very basic. A violin is made up of:

- the body;
- the strings;
- the tuning pegs; and
- the bow.

What kind of music would the violin play if it were disassembled into these four parts? It wouldn’t make any sound at all. However, when assembled together, the music that it can play is beyond compare. So it is with the four bodies of existence: When they are assembled together, aligned, and working with each other, the authentic sound that results is like music or harmony—Hózhǫ́.

Balance and Alignment

So how do these four bodies work together in harmony? First, each one needs to have its voice recognized and heard. This provides balance. Yet sometimes, even if they are all being heard, they are not in agreement with one another. When I speak of the four bodies being in alignment with each other, I mean that they are all moving in the same direction; they are in agreement.

I can think of many examples of times when I ignored one or more of my bodies, creating imbalance. For example, there have been times I was injured or sick, but I pushed through my day and did not properly care for my physical body, only to make my injury or illness worse. Or when I agreed to do something because it logically made sense, but my heart or spirit was not into it at all, the four bodies were not in alignment. My mental body was saying “yes,” but my emotional and spiritual bodies were saying “no.” Of course, there are times in our lives that we need to push through—like when I was raising my son, and I needed to work a job that didn’t align with my heart or spirit. In times of emergency, we may need to accept that the four bodies may not all be balanced or aligned. Give yourself grace and understanding when you simply need to do what is right before you—but not to the extent of ignoring or completely disregarding one or more of the four bodies. Take a moment to listen to your internal council. The more that you do this, the more natural it becomes.

Here is another example of the four bodies not being in balance. Have you ever physically been in one place, yet your emotions are somewhere else, and your mind is in yet another place, and your spirit is just silent because you’re in too many places at one time? I have. I feel lost at these times—like I am not in the right place. Being in too many places at one time can toss anyone out of equilibrium. My physical body might be at work, but my emotional body is with a loved one, my mental body wants a vacation, and my spiritual body is just trying to keep me going or is silenced. At these times the question comes to mind, “Where do I belong and how do I find balance?” This is a question that I continuously examine and re-examine as a bicultural individual.

Here is a personal example. I do not look like my Dutch mother, with her hazel-sunburst eyes and skin that was so ivory that she could not be in the sun too long; her almost-perfectly shaped and lightly pointed nose; her hair that was so light that it was hard to tell if it was light brown or dirty blonde. Her skin was so perfect and smooth, it had never seen a blemish. Although she didn’t see the beauty in her features, I did, and as a child, I looked up to them.

I also do not look like my Navajo father, with his rugged red skin that was as worn as the red rocks that he came from in New Mexico. I don’t sound like him, either: English was his second language, and my mother would constantly correct his pronunciation and seemed frustrated with his slower cadence. When I was young, I thought it was cool that he hunted with a bow and arrow—culturally appropriate, I suppose. He would take me to the shooting range, and I remember watching him raise his bow and always hit the target, dead center. He was a man of few words, but to this day his voice rings in my ears: “Oh . . . little one . . . my little squeezy.” (This is what he would call me when I was really little—later, he simply called me “Joy-Joy.”)

In this example, you can see how I might experience internal conflict in each of the four bodies. I have felt a disconnect with my physical body and how it appears to others. I have been conflicted emotionally and mentally, unsure of what the world around me expects of me. And spiritually, or on a soul level—who am I? It is challenging to find harmony within—to find Hózhǫ́.

Today, as an adult, I feel that I am giving myself permission to explore who I am: not full-blood Navajo, and not fully Dutch. I exist in a place that sometimes seems like no-man’s-land. May we all discover together the uncharted waters within our four bodies and find alignment in ourselves. We are embarking on a journey of authenticity. I belong nowhere until I belong to myself.

Here is a wonderful exercise you can do to make sure that you are giving each of your four bodies recognition. Dedicate a month to keeping a “self-acknowledgement” journal. When you wake up, check in with each of your four bodies and write down what you are experiencing. For example:

1. My physical body is experiencing __________ right now.

2. My emotional body is feeling __________ right now.

3. My mental body is thinking __________ right now.

4. My spiritual body is sensing __________ right now.

This exercise doesn’t have to be too in-depth; it’s just a simple check-in. Next, try doing this same exercise a couple times a day. Record in your self-acknowledgement journal how you are experiencing the world around you. You might begin to recognize some patterns within yourself. Please don’t read too much into what you write; the point is simply to provide each of the four bodies with recognition and a voice to express whatever they want, without judgment. After you do this for a while, you might find that they are more comfortable with expressing themselves.

If you find this helpful, I would then return to this exercise when you are faced with a decision. Again, give each of the four bodies a voice—you might be surprised at what each of them have to say. Maybe they all agree and are on the same page, or maybe they are not. It is perfectly fine if they are not all on the same page. Each body gives you a different perspective:

1. The physical body and gut holds the intelligence of our sense of survival.

2. The emotional body and heart hold the intelligence of our connections, and what that means to us.

3. The mental body and brain hold the intelligence of logic and reasoning.

4. The spiritual body and soul hold the intelligence of a deeper level of knowing, bringing us the collective guidance it taps into.

Each of the four bodies shows us a different aspect of life. Giving each of them a voice within you can be a significant life-changer. When each is recognized and they come together, they provide us with our own unique internal council. Yes, we can seek advice and guidance from external sources as well—this can be helpful and healthy. However, we also must seek the wisdom of our internal council as well. With the knowledge and different perspectives provided by the four bodies, you can better decide which direction you would like to go in and why.

When I decided to leave my “Corporate America” job, it seemed illogical. Why would I give up financial security and stability to go off on my own as an entrepreneur? I didn’t leave until the four bodies of my internal council completely aligned. I was able to see that I could provide for myself and my family on my own, so my gut—my sense of survival—was in agreement. My heart was already in alignment with this decision. My brain could visualize a logical path forward. And my soul felt as though I was finally aligned with my life’s purpose. It takes time. But it will take forever for the four bodies to agree if they are not all recognized. So take time to listen to each of them.

How do we know when our four bodies are in alignment? What does it feel like if all of the four bodies are in the same place and moving forward together, all of them saying “yes”? This sensation is much like being in love. When I am in love, my physical body desires to be around my beloved. My emotional body wishes to understand what my beloved is feeling. My mental body wants to listen to my beloved tell me their thoughts and perceptions of the world around them. My spiritual body is soaring and dancing with the connection and the love between us. When we are in love, the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual bodies are aligned. Being on your path, when the four bodies are aligned—creating internal harmony or Hózhǫ́—provides the same sensation. It is the love of self.

Having alignment among the four bodies of existence is paramount. When they are aligned, we receive new ways of looking at the world, gain a better understanding of who we are, and have epiphanies that brighten our future. What does it look like when you show up in your world with the four bodies in alignment? Think about it. For me, it means showing up with more confidence, certainty, and poise. I am not reluctant to ask questions, be curious, or learn something new. The impact that this has on my relationships, my career, and my health and wellbeing is limitless.

In the following chapters, we’ll take a deeper look at the four bodies to understand what each of them brings to us. Here is the key to understanding the dynamic of each individual body:

1. Physical Body: Reflexes—for survival
2. Emotional Body: Radiance—for connection
3. Mental Body: Reason—for making plans
4. Spiritual Body: Knowledge—for guidance

With each of the four bodies bringing a different perspective, one can see how they might connect with each other in different combinations. How does your physical body relate or connect with your emotional, mental, and spiritual body? How does your emotional body sense your physical, mental, and spiritual body—are you happy with this connection? What does your mental body think about your physical, emotional, and spiritual perspective? How is your spirit expressing itself through your existence? Feel free to take a moment to think or journal about these questions, at this point. The main point here is to recognize how your four bodies are aligned or not aligned.

Now let’s delve deeper into the knowledge and intelligence that is held by each of these four bodies of experience.

2
Physical and Gut Intelligence

What intelligence does the physical body and gut hold? How does it work? How do we work with it? How do we tap into this intelligence in order to live a more conscious and mindful life? In this chapter we will understand how the physical body provides us with our reflexes and sense of survival. This primal intelligence keeps us alive, it but it offers far more than that, helping us to make important decisions and feel out the environments that we move in.

The Intelligence of Reflexes and Survival

Neurons are thinking cells, which communicate with each other to transmit information. We have neurons in our brain, heart, and gut—approximately one hundred million of them, on average, in our gut alone. The gut’s intellect primarily has to do with the digestion process, but the gut also provides us with our basic instincts, keeping us safe when our survival is threatened.

The neurons in our gut signal our nervous system to take action. There are two main components to our nervous system: the sympathetic nervous system (SNS) picks up on sensory stimulation and assists us with understanding the environment around us, while the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) responds to this sensory stimulation and also helps us to rest and digest. The gut sends signals through our heart and to our brain along the vagus nerve, part of the parasympathetic nervous system. These messages tell us either to rest or to take action. As the vagus nerve travels through the heart, the signals sent by the gut regulate the beating of the heart; if we are in danger, it speeds up in order to send more blood flow to our extremities—in case we may need to sprint into action—even before checking in with the brain. When it reaches the brain, the vagus nerve will first send signals to the amygdala, a part of our brain that assesses whether there is danger within the environment and, if there is, what kind of response is appropriate: fight, flight, freeze, or fawn.

The more that we are in sync with our nervous system, the better we can translate the type of messages we are receiving. This clear communication assists us in understanding what type of action to take. What information is our physical body tapping into, and how can we respond accordingly? When we are consciously in our body, paying attention to what it is relaying to us, we are connected to a source of powerful intelligence. When we are disconnected from our body’s intelligence, we may be experiencing trauma—the body’s way of protecting itself.

At one point in my life, I had the opportunity to study under a neuroscientist and a Brazilian Shaman, who was also a licensed therapist, to learn a form of trauma resolution through somatic experience. Here is a short breakdown of what I learned about trauma from these teachers. When something happens that our nervous system recognizes as life-threatening—whether it is one significant experience or a collection of smaller traumas over time—the body will alert the amygdala. The amygdala may respond by flooding the body with adrenaline, providing the body with the energy that it needs to find safety: a “fight” or “flight” response. If there is no perceived way out of the situation, the body will begin to shut down in a “freeze” or “fawn” response. In either case, the reaction of the body overrides any conscious thought. When the amygdala activates, the conscious mind leaves the body so that it will not feel the impact of the threat. It can only return to the body once we find safety. At this point, when the physical body senses that it is safe, our mental faculties return, and we are able to work through the experience consciously. If we cannot do this, we enter a state of shock, which is a way that the body protects itself from feeling the full impact of the threatening situation.

Here is an example of how a threatening situation can be stored within the body. Let’s say that someone is in a car accident. Maybe they were hit from behind and they didn’t see it coming, as they didn’t look in their rearview mirror prior to impact. After this person starts driving again, they might unconsciously start looking into the rearview mirror more often than usual, to see potential harm coming. This is the body’s way of protecting itself. But over time, this driver might experience a pain in their neck, because it is being overworked on one side, due to their constant checking of their rearview mirror. Until this individual is able to work through the unresolved trauma, their body will continue to try to protect itself in ways that might actually be harmful.

Some of us may find it easy to listen to their physical body, to accept their body’s wisdom and respond accordingly. However, many of us ignore what the physical body is relaying to us because of our past experiences—maybe due to trauma that has been ignored or denied. Or maybe it is due to a belief system that suggests that the body is “the weakness of the flesh,” and we need to ignore its needs. Or maybe we had a parent who insisted, for their own reasons, that we push through and ignore what our bodies were telling us. Whatever our past experiences have taught us, we need to learn to listen to our physical body, because it holds the intelligence for our safety and survival.

If you struggle with listening to your body, here is where I would start. Think of a friend or person that you feel safe with—someone you can completely relax with and be yourself. Tune into your physical body. What does it feel like? Memorize this feeling of safety. When you understand how your body feels when your nervous system senses safety, you can more easily pick up its signals when you are not safe.

The most important thing is to understand when your body is saying “yes” and when it is saying “no.” Get accustomed to these two different sensations. The body will not lie; it only speaks the truth. It knows when “yes” means “yes” and when “no” means “no.” When we honor our body, listening and responding to what it is telling us without overriding it, we are respecting its intelligence. Honor the intelligence of your physical body—give it a voice.

Our bodies also hold other intelligences, such as reflexes: involuntary movements that the body does without checking in with the brain. Familiar examples of this are blinking or sneezing—these are things that just happen; we don’t have to think about them first. Sometimes our reflexes help us catch something that is falling, or tell us to duck when something is coming at us. Another common type of physical intelligence is muscle memory. If an individual repeats a certain task over and over again—like riding a bicycle or driving a car—the body remembers how to perform this task with little to no thought from the mind. Have you ever driven to work and not remembered how you got there? That’s when your body took over. Once your body knows how to perform certain tasks, it doesn’t need a lot of concentration to execute them.

Muscle memory is also used in physical exercise and playing sports. When I was young, I spent a lot of time at the gym to stay fit. After I had taken time off from exercising, I thought that it would take me a lot of time to get back into shape. Much to my surprise, my body responded very quickly, remembering the exercises I had done so many times before, and I got back in shape much faster the second time around. Training in martial arts or boxing also involves a lot of muscle memory, as the body learns how to respond with quick reflexes and little hesitation when placed in certain situations. The body learns and reacts in order to keep us safe.

Now that we understand the intelligence that our physical body provides for us, we can listen to it and begin to understand this wonderful part of our internal council.

DNA Memory

The physical intelligence that we hold within our body is amazing. But it is more than muscle memory; we also may have DNA memory, too. In his wonderful book My Grandmother’s Hands, Resmaa Menakem explains how through our DNA memory, we continue to have visceral responses to events that can sometimes be centuries old.[2] Through reading his book, I began to recognize how important it is for me to listen to my body. It doesn’t only hold my personal memories within this lifetime; my body also holds the memory of my ancestors.

Here is an example of my personal DNA memory. I used to run a nonprofit organization called the Eagle Heart Foundation, which had an objective to improve cultural awareness of BIPOC individuals (Black, Indigenous, and people of color) and to provide direct support to marginalized groups. Our vision was to create a future of collective heart and mind, one rooted in both our past, ancestral wisdom and our current knowledge.

My ancestral roots come directly from my father, a full-blooded Navajo, who was taken from the Navajo Reservation in the 1930s and placed in a residential school. So, as you can imagine, the foundation held a deep compassion for giving to marginalized groups. We believed that supporting these groups increases our chances of future success for the human race as a whole: Collectively, we are stronger together than if we are separate. Because of this, our position was to offer not what we thought that these groups needed, but what they might ask for from us, the collective whole. The Eagle Heart Foundation took this very seriously, and we came to the groups we supported with open hearts and minds to understand where we could assist.

I was looking for an outside perspective of the organization in order to expand my own thinking, and a colleague was able to introduce me to a well-known business consultant. I was curious to see what his counsel would reveal. As I was expressing the vision and the mission of the Eagle Heart Foundation to him, he simply listened—but I noticed my body beginning to tremble. I couldn’t explain the rush of anxiety that my physical body was experiencing, until I stopped speaking, and heard his position. He said, “I am diametrically opposed to what you are saying.” He explained that he believes that the Native Americans need to be saved from their savage ways.

“Wait . . . what?!?” I thought. My ears grew deaf from that point forward; I shut down. I am pretty sure that I politely showed him the door and never saw or heard from him again.

Why did my body shake prior to knowing his stance, in this situation? I believe that my physical body sensed danger before my mind did, because it held the trauma of previous generations; it somehow knew what to expect from this man. It was a trauma response—a very real, visceral response—rooted in my DNA memory.

Challenges in Listening to Our Gut

What are the challenges we might face when we try to listen to our gut? One challenge comes from the idea, taught by some belief systems, that our bodies are sinful or shameful. I remember it being explained to me when I was younger, through religious contexts, that the desires of the flesh (the body) are sinful and should not be followed if we want to remain pure. This concept discourages us from wanting to listen to our own bodies, and it also negates the idea that my physical body holds an intellect of its own, separate from the mind. Another harmful concept is the idea that we need to look a certain way in order to express beauty. We need to be a certain height, weigh a certain amount, and dress a certain way in order to be accepted. This is very damaging to our connection to and trust of our physical body.

The list goes on and on. What other concepts can you think of when it comes to shaming the physical body? There are a lot, spanning different belief systems, cultures, and genders. When I think about how this separates us from our body’s intellect, it breaks my heart.

Another challenge is that the gut and the body does not speak in words—it speaks in sensations, inclinations, and body language. On a basic level, it expresses itself through feelings of hunger, thirst, or tiredness. It sends us other visceral signals when we need to be more aware of our environment, and it tells us not through words but through “gut instinct” how to better navigate our lives. If our physical body doesn’t speak our language, how are we to understand what it is trying to communicate? We need to listen and observe.

Our minds are quick to think about our experiences as stories, as we strive to understand what is happening. However, in order to receive the full counsel of the four bodies of existence, we might want to slow down our mental explanations and allow our physical body to tell us its story. Take a moment to breathe and receive the intelligence of your nervous system.

Examples of Gut Intelligence

Here is another story from my childhood. My father served in the Korean War prior to attending seminary school, and while he was serving, he trained in a boxing club. He learned how to step into a punch, how to gain momentum off of his foot, and how to step back so that the other fighter would lean in. He had to learn how to listen to his body. Through his discipline and dedication, he became the lightweight boxing champion of Okinawa Island. As a child, I knew that this spirit of the fighter lived within me—it is a part of my heritage. I could sense it within my physical body.

When I was about eleven years old, I asked him to teach me how to fight. He hung a punching bag in the backyard and began to teach me how to throw a punch: Brace your wrists—keep them strong. He taught me how to pay attention to my physical body, explaining that it was key to being a healthy, balanced individual. He also told me that he could never commit to a fight until he saw the sight of his own blood. He would taunt the other fighter to hit him—to hit him hard—and once he saw his own blood, he knew he would win the fight. Talk about hardcore!

Once my mother realized that I was learning how to fight, she put an end to it. The punching bag came down, and my father never spoke of being a boxer again. But he was a great fighter, and for a brief time, he showed me how to be a fighter, too. His fighting spirit and physical discipline lives on in my memory and in my physical body.

Here is another example. Years ago, I had to wear a custom-fit plastic brace after surgery on my wrist. This brace was practically the length of my arm. It was customized in such a way that it would hold my wrist in a precise position in order to heal properly. One morning, I shot straight out of bed with pain surging through my arm like electricity. I was still half asleep, and without understanding what was happening, I jumped up and ran to my dresser, opened up my sock drawer, and started searching through it. A few moments later, I realized what I was doing, and it didn’t make any sense. I stopped and went back to bed. Again, an electric surge shot through my arm, and I jumped out of bed and started to rummage through my sock drawer—but still, I didn’t know why. By now, I recognized that I needed to fully wake up in order to understand what was happening, so I went downstairs and sat on the couch for a moment. I took the plastic brace off my arm and started to mentally process everything. As I sat there on the couch, I had a simple conversation with myself. My mind asked: “What does this feel like?”

“It feels like nerve pain. The kind of pain that you would feel if you were wearing plastic shoes that continuously rubbed up against your heel.”

Then, I thought, “What would I do if I had this kind of pain in my heel?”

I replied to myself, “I would get a gel insert to relieve this pain—something soft to place in between me and the plastic.”

“Where would I find one of these gel inserts?” Eureka! I kept gel inserts in my sock drawer. I went back upstairs to my dresser and dug out a gel insert, putting it in between my arm and the plastic brace—relieving the pain.

In this situation, my physical body knew more than my mental body. My physical body knew how to solve this problem and ease my pain even if my mind had not woken up enough yet to think it through. This is one of many examples of how the wisdom of the physical body is an essential part of our internal council.

So how can we connect with our physical body in order to hear the signals that it is sending us? The following exercises can help you get started.

Exercise: My Body Is a Pendulum

I invite you to stand up with your feet placed hip-width apart. Next, relax and ground into your lower body without locking your knees or holding any tension. As you relax within your body, say a true statement aloud—an obviously true statement. If the body agrees with the statement, it will respond with a “yes” sensation: Some people say that their body slightly leans forward, others say that their body relaxes more deeply. What does a “yes” sensation feel like in your body? Do this exercise a couple more times in order to recognize what a “yes” sensation feels like to you. Next, say a false statement aloud. If the body disagrees with the statement, it will give you a “no” sensation: Maybe your body will lean backwards or tighten up a little bit. What does a “no” sensation feel like in your body? Keep trying until you find your connection.

Keep in mind that if your body feels like it is telling you both “yes” and a “no,” that means that there are both true and false aspects of the statement that was made. Simply break down the statement further to extract the non-truth. For example, if I were to say, “I am going to get a new job at ABC company,” and my body sends me a “yes” sensation followed by a “no” sensation, I would recognize that half of this statement is true, and the other half is not. So, I would try it again: “I am going to get a new job.” If my body says “yes,” next I would say, “I am going to work at ABC company.” If my body says “no,” this tells me that my body senses I am going to get a new job, but not necessarily at ABC company. Try this with a wide range of statements and listen to your body—it is speaking to you.

Exercise: Find Your Physical Body’s Wisdom

Through our hands, we interact with the world around us. They give and receive. They push and they pull. They lift and they hold. In this exercise, I invite you to place your fingertips together (thumb to thumb, index finger to index finger, and so on). This helps us to connect with our inner world. Next, we will take a few deep breaths. Inhale through the nose for a few moments, hold this breath for a few moments, and exhale through the mouth for a few moments. Repeat this at least three to five times. (There are many different deep-breathing techniques, and this is simply one of them. If you have a different breathing practice that you prefer, please feel free to use the one you like. The objective is to relax.)

Now mentally scan your body. Start by focusing your consciousness at the top of your head, move down through your neck and shoulders, and continue down to your feet. Did any part of your body call out to you or give you a signal of some sort? If so, move your consciousness back to that place within your body and, without judgment, describe how that part feels. Try giving it a texture: Is it hot, cold, tender, or heavy? Or maybe a picture pops into your mind that will help you visualize the sensation. There is no right or wrong answer to this question—it simply is.

Now merely observe the sensation until you know what it wants from you, or until it begins to shift and morph into something else. Allow this part of your body to communicate with you in pictures or sensations—listen to what it is telling you. You can spend as much or as little time as you like doing this exercise, and you can do it as many times as you wish.

After you have connected with the parts of your body that were seeking your attention, move your consciousness into your gut. Allow your gut to experience the attention from your consciousness. Notice how it responds. Does it relax, tighten, move? Hold your consciousness in your gut and simply observe without any judgments. Is it telling you something? Do you get a feeling or visualize a picture in your mind? This is your gut communicating with you. Sometimes individuals will feel tingling in their head or the sensation of an aha moment—this means that your head and your conscious mind are connected. Do this exercise prior to making decisions or taking action in your day. The more often that you practice this exercise, the easier it is for your gut and body to communicate with you. Your body and your gut are a part of your internal council—listening to them provides greater wisdom.

Journal Prompts

1. Now that we have a better scientific understanding of the physical body and the gut . . .

How has this influenced/impacted/affected your self-knowledge?

How has this influenced/impacted/affected your self-empowerment?

How has this influenced/impacted/affected your self-actualization?

2. Now that we have explored the purpose of the physical body and the gut’s intelligence . . .

How has this influenced/impacted/affected your self-knowledge?

How has this influenced/impacted/affected your self-empowerment?

How has this influenced/impacted/affected your self-actualization?

3. Is there other knowledge that your physical body holds that wasn’t identified?

What is this knowledge?

What have you gained from understanding it within yourself?

4. What are the challenges that you face in learning to listen to your physical body?

5. How can you overcome these challenges?

6. Do you have any other thoughts that you would like to record? Please feel free to do so.

3
Emotional and Heart Intelligence

What intelligence does the emotional body and heart hold? How does it work? How do we work with it? How do we tap into this intelligence in order to gain a greater understanding of ourselves and live a more conscious and mindful life? In this chapter we will learn how the emotional body provides us with our ability to radiate and connect with others. The emotional body and the physical heart assist us with building community and socializing.

The Intelligence of Radiating and Connecting

In chapter 2, we learned about the neurons—thinking cells—found in our mind, our gut, and our heart. These thinking cells connect and communicate with each other in order to stimulate our intellect. Our brain, which we will cover in the next chapter, has approximately eighty-six billion neurons, while the gut has one hundred million; the physical heart has approximately forty thousand. This is, comparatively, a small fraction of what we find in the brain and in the gut. However, the heart’s intellect allows it to radiate energy. According to the HeartMath Institute, the heart produces a magnetic field that is over a hundred times stronger than that created by the brain—and studies have shown that it radiates this energy up to three feet away from the body.[3] This is one of the most important jobs of the heart and emotional body—to radiate our energy and allow us to connect with others.

Let’s examine the parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous systems again. The parasympathetic nervous system activates the resting and digestive functions of your body, telling your heart rate to drop lower when it is safe. This assists us in our internal self-regulation.

The sympathetic nervous system tells your heart rate to increase, activating the defense mechanisms of fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. When your sympathetic nervous system seems to regularly be more engaged than your parasympathetic nervous system, you need to pay attention. If you are noticing a change within your rest and sleeping patterns, whether you are oversleeping or not sleeping at all, this could indicate that your sympathetic nervous system is on heightened alert. Also, watch for changes in your eating habits and digestive process, whether you are overeating or not eating at all. Again, this could indicate that your sympathetic nervous system is being overstimulated.

Listen to the wisdom of your nervous system. Are you calm and relaxed? Is your parasympathetic nervous system active, helping you to rest and digest? Or is your sympathetic nervous system active, making you more sensitive to your environment and feeling like you’re on high alert?

In order to find balance between our sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems, we need to look to the wisdom of the heart. The heart is the organism that connects to everything. So, ask your heart: Is your nervous system responding to something internal, or something external? There must be a balance between the internal and external world in order to balance our nervous systems. It is the heartbeat that regulates this connection. (For more information on how to consciously regulate the heart, I recommend visiting the website of the HeartMath Institute: www.heartmath.org.)

The heart is the first organ to develop in the womb, before the brain. This helps me understand its essential nature. Is the heart the source of our existence? The heart sends nine to ten times more information to the brain than the brain sends to it.[4] It makes me wonder, is the heart’s intelligence picking up on a deeper connection that it is trying to help the brain understand? Does it have a more intuitive understanding of life? I believe it does. Sometimes, I will start thinking about a loved one, or someone close to me, and reach out to them, only to find out that they were in a time of need. My heart sought out that connection before my conscious mind did. Have you had any experiences like this? If so, this chapter may help you understand a little bit more about your heart’s intuition.

Another purpose that the heart serves is to comfort and to heal. For example, when you sit with someone who understands the situation that you are going through, it brings comfort; it tells you, “I am not alone.” When we feel our heart connecting with another, it begins to soothe our nervous system, moving us out of a flight, fight, freeze, or fawn state and helping activate our “rest and digest” response. Within this empathetic and understanding environment, the mind is able to slow down and digest the situation from all points of view. No longer in a state of heightened alert, we become more relaxed and regulated.

Here is another fascinating example of how dynamic the heart is. Some heart-transplant recipients report experiencing personality shifts or changes to their likes and dislikes after the operation. Could they be taking on character traits from their donor? Dr. James Kneller, a cardiologist who has performed many heart transplants, says, “It is as though the transplanted heart contains the mind and soul of the donor, which then finds expression in the recipient.”[5] In his video “Can a Heart Transplant Change Your Personality?” Kneller reports several fascinating stories. One recipient who had previously never been concerned about physical fitness became very focused on health and exercise after his heart transplant. Additionally, after receiving his transplant, he heard a song that touched him so deeply that he wept. He had never heard the song before, and didn’t understand why he had been so moved by it. Once he was able to contact the heart donor’s family, he learned more about the personality of the donor. They told him that their son was into physical fitness and loved music—in particular, the artist who created the song that had touched the recipient so profoundly.

Another heart-transplant recipient suddenly began to crave beer and Snickers bars after her operation—things she had never particularly liked before. As it turned out, these were her donor’s favorite things. Here is an even wilder story: There was a little girl whose death was tragic, and her family donated her heart. The individual who received her heart began to have detailed nightmares about a murder, and went to a psychologist to understand what they meant. After listening to them, the psychologist told the transplant recipient that they were talking about these nightmares in such detail that they sounded more like memories than dreams. The recipient wrote down these detailed dreams and went to the police; the details provided them with leads that helped them catch and convict the murderer of the little girl.[6]

How can memories move from one individual to another through an organ transplant? How does the heart radiate its wisdom outward and beyond an individual body? Is there a residual energy that connects us? There are so many questions to which we still don’t have the scientific answers; it is beyond our current comprehension.

The intelligence of the heart is vast, and it is very different from the intelligence of the physical body—it serves a different purpose. It gives us our ability to connect with others, and it helps us regulate our experience and environment. When we understand the specific intelligence our emotional body and heart provides for us, we can learn to better listen to this wonderful part of our internal council.

Connecting with the Natural World

Our heart connects us not only with other people but with the natural world, as well. When you take a walk in the natural world—on a beach, on a forest trail, through a canyon—your emotions can connect you to the landscape you are in. How can we help our heart connect with the spirits of these lands?

Each land formation holds within it a spirit. When I refer to the “spirits of the land,” I am talking about the distinct elemental vibrations that different landscapes hold. Hearing the sound of the waves coming in and feeling the moisture in the air brings about different sensations within us than we experience while climbing a mountain, where the air is thinner, and the ground has rocks and boulders on it rather than sand. Both of these are different than taking a walk in a forest, where there are thick trees and different plants and animals. Each experience is different due to the landscape and the spirits of that land.

When you begin to physically and emotionally connect with the spirits of the land, you begin to understand that you are a part of something greater than yourself. You are understood by the natural world. No longer do you have to merely observe it—you are a part of it. Being aware of your surroundings is important; however, connecting with the natural world means being aware that your surroundings are also aware of you. When you see a hawk flying overhead, know that they saw you first. This is a Shamanic understanding of the connection between human beings and the natural world. There is so much love in this basic recognition of the connection between me and the other. I am seen; I am connected. I can feel this connection physically, within my heart and my emotional body.

So, what happens when we disconnect from the natural world? When we are stuck behind a desk or a computer screen, without the natural sounds and sensations of nature, we begin to disconnect from a profound part of our human experience. And when we disconnect from ourselves, we disconnect from our tribe and community. Why? Because if we don’t know ourselves, how could we know how we fit in?

Challenges in Listening to Our Heart

What are the challenges we face in listening to our heart’s intelligence? The heart is hard to understand, at times. Like the gut, it doesn’t speak in our own language. The heart’s first language is its own rhythmic beating. It can send signals to the brain that help the mind to translate what it is emoting into words, but words are not the heart’s first language.

When choosing to listen or not listen to our heart, we may also face challenges due to our upbringing, or things that we learned in childhood. Many of us were indoctrinated to believe that the heart is too emotional, and that to be emotional is to be weak. This type of thought process—that emotions make us weak—is an external influence that causes us to be disconnected from our heart and to deny the knowledge that it carries. Why? What I have observed underneath this distrust of emotions is a fear that listening to your heart can make you vulnerable.

On a more tangible note, in much of the Western world we are discouraged to bring emotions to the workplace. This mentality has been with us since the industrial revolution; it is the logic of the assembly line. Workers were now placed within an environment of automation, performing a single task as fast and efficiently as they can, without having any investment in its outcome or purpose. There is no heart in that. It wasn’t until the late 1980s and early 1990s that the business world began to reconsider its approach. For example, the book Emotional Intelligence became popular in the business world in the mid-1990s, and I noticed more people beginning to understand how emotions can be an asset to business.[7] I still believe that we have a long way to go; connecting with the intelligence of the heart is beneficial, but this type of strength is not always accepted in work environments.

Here is another challenge that we face with being emotionally intelligent: In order to understand someone else’s heart, you have to dip into your own. When we dip into our own emotions, it is not always easy. We may find ourselves in unfamiliar or vulnerable territory, or we might uncover some old emotions that we still need to move through. For the empathic people out there, the ones who more easily pick up on different energies, I would caution that the emotions that you can pick up from others are in direct correlation to those that you radiate out. Be empowered. Remember that you have a gift and, as such, a responsibility to take care of yourself and your heart. It is not easy—but most strengths aren’t easy to come by.

The biggest challenge you face in listening to your heart is that it might lead you in a different direction than the one where your mind was taking you. For example, your mind might want to invest in a project that is going to make you a lot of money, and the idea that your heart might not be in it is scary. Because if the mind finds out that the heart isn’t into the project, this knowledge can’t be swept back under the rug.

Sometimes we need to answer to society and external forces that influence who and what we can do or be. This is fine. But if we are afraid to ask our heart if this is the direction that we should be moving in, that is a red flag. The heart may say, “If you go that way, you go without me.” I have been in that position more than one time in my life—when I realized that my life looked very good “on paper,” but my heart was not being felt or expressed. I had the title, the education, the income of a “successful” individual, but I wasn’t being true to my heart. Emotional honesty can change the course of our life. The heart is a member of our internal council, but its knowledge can be like medicine—it heals us, but it doesn’t always taste good.

Examples of Heart Intelligence

Some of the greatest times that I have shown up with strength have been because of my heart. You can face situations that seem insurmountable if your heart is in it. This means showing up—for yourself and for others—with deep understanding, deep compassion, and deep empathy. Your heart can motivate greatness!

Here is an example. My cousin Dwayne was my father’s brother’s son. In the Navajo culture, when my father’s brother passed away, spiritually my father became my cousin’s father. So, in a sense, Dwayne was my brother—although I didn’t grow up with him, nor did I know him very well. I only came to know him when I visited my father as an adult.

Dwayne was kind, with soft eyes. He told me a story about when he was unemployed, and he was at a job interview. He knew he was a great candidate for the position; he thought he would be a shoo-in for the job. While sitting in the waiting room before the interview, he spotted another Navajo man. This Navajo man looked feeble, and Dwayne got up and took a seat next to him. He asked him, “How hungry are you?” When the man expressed to him that he was really hungry, Dwayne left the room, foregoing the interview, so that this man would get the job instead of him. See, it is not only about how hungry I am, but about how hungry you are! This is the way of my ancestors.

Our hearts have the ability to connect with others, and they also know when others are not connected with them. The heart understands reciprocal energy. It can decide whatever it wants to do with this energy, but it understands the balance between self and the other, between connection and disconnection. That is brilliant intelligence!

Exercise: A Comfortable Space for the Five Senses

Creating an environment in which you and your heart are comfortable is essential to taking care of the emotional body. Here is an exercise that I would like to invite you to participate in. Write down a list of the five basic senses: sight, smell, touch, taste, and sound. Beside each of these senses, write down what relaxes each individual sense. Here is an example:

1. Sight—soft lighting, candles, a beautiful landscape

2. Smell—lavender, jasmine, a warm cooked meal

3. Touch—soft pillow, heavy blanket, a teddy bear

4. Taste—warm soup, ice cream, a nice bottle of wine

5. Sound—whale songs, classical music, a playlist from “back in the day”

Your list should be an authentic expression of who you are: Figure out what you like and create your ideal environment. When you understand what relaxes and comforts your body’s five basic senses, your heart can begin to relax. When your heart is relaxed, your nervous system heals more quickly.

So much has happened within our lives. It is time to reconnect with ourselves, give ourselves a voice, and allow the healing to begin. I encourage you to create a space that encompasses all the things that relax your body and creates a sacred space in which you can regulate your heart. There is so much untapped wisdom within you—give yourself the right space to engage with it. This is not only for yourself, but for those who you love; when you show up for yourself, you know how to show up for those that you care about.

Exercise: Find Your Emotional Body’s Wisdom

Just like we did before, place your fingertips together and do some simple breathwork for a few moments. Slowly inhale through the nose for a few counts, hold the breath within your body for a few counts, exhale through the mouth, and repeat. Doing this breathwork relaxes you and awakens your consciousness. You can do this as long as you wish; however, three to five deep breaths will do the trick. Now move your consciousness through your body—focus first on your head, and begin to relax as you move your thoughts down through your body.

In the last chapter, we then moved into our gut for a gut check; however, in this chapter we are focused on the heart and its intelligence. Hence, move your consciousness to your heart. Feel free to place your hand on your heart as you do this. Now think of something peaceful, joyful, or loving. This makes your heart vibrate with positive feelings and connects it with a source of consciousness that is higher than yourself. Continue to breathe normally, and simply observe your heartbeat. Like a drum beat, it pulses with a rhythm. The more that you focus on your heart beating, the more that you will consciously connect with it and its wisdom. As you allow your consciousness to connect with your heart, the more that your heart will speak to you.

Feel free to ask it for its wisdom. Remember, the heart sends far more information to our brain than our brain sends to our heart. The heart wants to share its wisdom with your mind, and if we quiet ourselves, we can hear it. You can be general with your questions, or you can ask your heart specific questions and await its response. Remember, it might or might not speak with in your language; it may send your mind pictures or produce sensations in your body that you will have to interpret. This may take a little practice, or it might come easy—it varies, depending on the individual. The more that you practice this technique, the easier it becomes to understand the wisdom of your heart and emotional body.

If you would like to take this exercise one step further, we can radiate this energy out to positively impact others. So, with your wonderful heart’s wisdom, as you think about peace, joy, or love—or any other high-vibrational energy that you choose—consciously radiate this feeling out into the world or toward a certain situation or individual.

Journal Prompts

1. Now that we have a better scientific understanding of the emotional body and the heart . . .

How has this influenced/impacted/affected your self-knowledge?

How has this influenced/impacted/affected your self-empowerment?

How has this influenced/impacted/affected your self-actualization?

2. Now that we have explored the purpose of the emotional body and the heart’s intelligence, to radiate out and connect . . .

How has this influenced/impacted/affected your self-knowledge?

How has this influenced/impacted/affected your self-empowerment?

How has this influenced/impacted/affected your self-actualization?

3. Is there other knowledge that your emotional body and your heart hold that wasn’t identified?

What is this knowledge?

What have you gained from understanding it within yourself?

4. What are the challenges that you face in learning to listen to your emotional body?

5. How can you overcome these challenges?

6. Do you have any other thoughts that you would like to record? Please feel free to do so.

4
Mental and Brain Intelligence

What intelligence does the mental body and the brain hold? How does it work? How do we work with it? How do we tap into this intelligence in order to gain a greater understanding of ourselves and live a more conscious and mindful life? In this chapter we will learn how the intelligence of the mental body provides us with our ability to reason and plan. However, this body can be conditioned, brainwashed, or fooled—making it even more important to truly understand the wisdom and the follies of our minds.

The Intelligence of Reasoning and Planning

In this chapter we’ll be focused on the brain and the mind: The brain is the physical mass within our head, and the mind is our ability to think and engage. When we think about intellect, we tend to think about the brain. As I mentioned in the previous chapter, the brain contains the most neurons, or thinking cells, when compared to the gut and the heart; on average, the brain holds eighty-six billion neurons. However, we aren’t necessarily using all these neurons to think.

Neurons need to connect with other neurons in order to create a precise path or thought process. When one neuron fires off, it is picked up by another neuron. This creates a synapse—the connection between two neurons in order to create a thought process or pathway. The more frequently that these two neurons connect, the more ingrained the thought process becomes.

Think about the difference between a lightly traveled footpath and a highway. It is easy to deviate from the footpath or branch off in a new direction, but the highway is ingrained and clearly defined. So it is with thinking. If we continue to use the same neural pathway, we will continue to find ourselves at the same place within our thinking. This is why it is healthy to create a lot of different pathways, so that we have options and opportunities to approach the world from different points of view—so we don’t always find ourselves in the same place and with the same outcome.

How can we create new neural pathways? It is easier than you might think. When you drive to work or to the store, do you take the same route? Most of us do. After a while, you are driving on autopilot—without conscious thought. This is because you have a solid neural pathway. But if you drive a different route, your brain is activated; it is now paying attention, looking around at the newness of the scenery. This is how you can create new neural pathways. You can do this with any ordinary task that you are so comfortable with that you can do it on autopilot—like grocery shopping or brushing your teeth. The next time that you go grocery shopping, start at the opposite end of the store. Inevitably, you will see items that you weren’t aware of before. Or try brushing your teeth with your nondominant hand. It is more difficult at first, but it makes the brain work harder.

When the brain is challenged in this way, it needs to create new connections between neurons in order to carry out the task it’s been given. In turn, these new connections now become available to it for future tasks. Hence, the next time that you are faced with a problem, your mind has more options to solve it. Creating more neural pathways helps us see the world from different points of view, allowing us to solve problems that we might not have seen a solution to at first. It helps us bring about changes within our lives and our communities that weren’t initially imaginable.

When you challenge the brain to forge new neural pathways, it also can help encourage it to stay present and focus on what you are doing in that moment. The mind tends to jump through space and time more than it stays settled in the present; it is often somewhere in a memory or thinking about a future plan. It happens so often that we need to discipline our mind in order to stay mindful—to remain within the present moment. Ask your brain: What about now? Am I being mindful about who I am right now, where I am right now, what I am thinking right now? Challenging the mind to be present creates more peace and harmony within each moment of our lives.

The Divided Brain

Let’s return to looking at the physical brain. We can break down the brain into the right hemisphere and the left hemisphere. Each hemisphere works differently and processes information differently. Understanding each of these two hemispheres and how they function—as well as how they work together at some times, and not at others—will help us to understand how we function. Let’s get to know ourselves and how this aspect of our mental process works.

The left hemisphere of the brain has motor control over the right side of the body. The left hemisphere is very logical in its processing; it governs speech, language and comprehension, analysis and calculations, time and sequences, and recognition of letters and numbers. The right hemisphere of the brain has motor control over the left side of the body. The right hemisphere is connective and creative; it is responsible for our creativity, imagination, and spatial abilities, or how we understand what fits where. This part of the brain is also able to draw relationships between faces, places, and objects. It also helps us recognize relationships and understand their larger context—it gives us a sense of connection.

Building neural pathways that connect the two hemispheres can unite our logical and creative functions. This not only provides us with new ways of thinking and approaches to life but also gives us a more holistic mental perspective—one that is both logical and creative. It’s as if we’re saying to our brain, “Left hemisphere, let me introduce you to right hemisphere. Let’s work together!”

Beyond their functions and skillsets, how do the left and right hemispheres approach and interact with the world? How they engage with the world is just as important as what they can do. Let’s consider a story told by Dr. Iain McGilchrist in his book The Master and His Emissary: The Divided Brain and the Making of the Western World.[8] While in college, McGilchrist was attempting to logically analyze a series of poems—a task that he found to be incredibly difficult. Poetry is a creative symphony of metaphors, the domain of the right hemisphere. But logical thought and analysis is a job for our left hemisphere. How can you logically explain a creative endeavor? This task frustrated him so much that he changed his major from English literature to psychiatry and began to study the right and left hemisphere; how they approach the external world; and their impact on society, history, and culture.

The logical, analytical process of the left hemisphere, with its emphasis on measured, quantifiable outcomes, is not enough to truly explain a set of poems. Our lived experience has a quality to it that can only be measured in poetry—an expression that cannot be measured. The creative, expressive process within the right hemisphere holds immeasurable outcomes. The key is understanding how these two aspects of the mind approach, relate to, and interact with the world. So let’s look beyond the skillsets and functions of the right and left hemispheres and see how they connect with the world around them.

The right hemisphere understands relationships—our connections to our friends, family, tribe, and society. The right hemisphere is empathetic and nonjudgmental; it seeks to relate to others even if we don’t understand their lived experience. Similarly, our right hemisphere has the ability to perceive paradoxical expressions—it can see that both sides of a situation may hold truth. It can see beyond black and white to find beautiful shades of gray within relationships, situations, and ourselves. Additionally, the right hemisphere is always present within any given situation. It does not think of the past or future—it is here, now. Its understanding of our immediate experience is important for our health and wellbeing: both our individual health and the health of our greater society and overarching ecosystem.

In short, the right hemisphere of our brains relates to the world through the lens of connections and community—through a sense of “us.” This is why the right hemisphere has developed the skillsets of creativity, spatial ability, and facial recognition—they all relate to connectivity, understanding, and a holistic approach to the world that we collectively live within.

If the right hemisphere perceives the world as a holistic system, the left hemisphere understands how things are separate. The overarching idea is not one of connection but of individuality. This is neither good nor bad; this is simply the other side of the coin. For example, if you raise your hand up to your face, the left hemisphere will say, “This is my hand.” The right hemisphere will say, “This is me.” Although the left hemisphere understands that the hand is connected to the rest of the body, it also suggests something that it is that is owned by the brain. In contrast, the right hemisphere sees only the connection and understands the hand as “me.”

The left hemisphere also is able to draw from past experiences and plan for the future, rather than remaining in the present, like the right hemisphere. It can use learned skills, experiences, and behaviors in order to create a viable plan for future endeavors in a systematic way. It tells us, “This worked in the past, so it will work in the future.” In this way, it is more judgmental than the right hemisphere. This is why the left hemisphere has developed the skillsets of speech and language, the ability to analyze and calculate, and the ability to understand timing and sequence in order to provide us with a logical plan for our future. It is able to learn from the past in order to help us plan the future.

To find balance within our lives, we need to have the ability to honor both sides of our brain. One side may feel more familiar to you, and the other side less familiar to you. However, this is not to say that one is better or worse than the other. It is simply how our brain works.

Exercise: Exploring The Brain’s Left and Right Hemispheres

Get a piece of paper and write down three to five words that describe how you are feeling right now. Doing this will activate the left hemisphere, as it loves lists and language. Next, turn the paper over and draw a self-portrait or an abstract picture of how you are feeling, without reflecting on the words that you wrote. Be creative with this self-portrait—tap into the skills of your right hemisphere.

Next, take a step back from this exercise and spend some time doing something else—even for just an hour. When you return, look at the picture and write down words that would describe it. These words will speak to how your right hemisphere is truly experiencing how you are doing. Is there a difference between these words and the list of words you initially wrote down? Sometimes they are very close; sometimes they are radically different. In either case, the picture that your creative right hemisphere helped you draw can help you get more clarity and understand your emotions on a deeper level.

If you find this exercise to be eye-opening, know that you can do it in relation to any situation in your life. You can draw a picture about a relationship that you are in, a work situation that you are in, your health, or anything else. Let your right hemisphere guide you.

Additionally, you can take this a step further and draw a picture of what you would like your future to look like. Write down the words that describe this picture. Next, allow your left hemisphere to figure out how to get you from where you are to where you want to be.

Challenges in Listening to Our Brain

One of the most important challenges that we face when learning to access our mental intelligence is an imbalance between the left and right hemispheres of the brain. In his book The Master and His Emissary, Iain McGilchrist argues that approximately 75 percent of Western civilizations have a left-hemisphere-centric way of thinking.[9] This emphasis on left-hemisphere thinking can create problems when we have incomplete or incorrect information. For example, histories have typically been “written by the victors”—that is, the dominant cultures or groups will control which version of history is taught and accepted. But if we are unable to recognize that this is only a part of the story, not the full story, we can easily be brainwashed into believing things that aren’t true, or follow someone we perceive as a leader without question. When the left hemisphere is given a censored history, it can be set up to behave in certain ways in order to achieve certain goals.

The reason that I am personally passionate about this topic is because of my father. When my father was very young—in his formative years, while his brain was still developing—he was taken from his home, heritage, and culture and placed in a residential school. This school provided him with a censored history, one in which he was taught that “the Indians” were savages, less than human, and sinful creatures. He was afraid of “the Indians.” When he told one of his older friends about his fears that “the Indians” may come and get them, his friend explained to him, “No—they are saying that we are the Indians.”

Being taught by an older, dominating white body that you are the problem simply because of your culture and skin color—this story breaks my heart to this day. I can easily see how my father was conditioned and brainwashed into turning his back on who he was and where he came from, and how he was forced to blindly follow a different way of moving in the world.

In 1972, my father became the pastor of the Christian Indian Center in Denver, Colorado. This organization was part of the Christian Reformed Church, which was originally formed in the Netherlands and came to the United States with Dutch immigrants in the 1800s. Its core beliefs are rooted in Calvinism, a form of strict Protestant theology. The Christian Indian Center was opened to indoctrinate Navajo families into the white man’s world; this is why my father was asked to be the pastor. I remember sitting in the front pew, listening to my father preach in Navajo every Sunday. On reflection, I can see how I was given the message that the Dutch, Protestant Christian side of my heritage was superior to the Navajo side of my heritage—the Dutch deacons were here to save us from our savage Native ways.

As a left-hemisphere-dominant culture, the Dutch meticulously recorded family lineages on paper; I have documents tracing my Dutch roots back seven hundred years. However, the Navajo side of my lineage was not “documented” in any such form, as they were an oral culture until about two hundred years ago. When my dad was taken into the boarding school system, he had to be recorded, entered into a system. He was given a white man’s name, one that an English speaker could understand (Jefferson Yazzie), and assigned a birth date in the Gregorian Calendar (March 16, 1932). What was my father’s true name, the name that his mother called him? To this day, I do not know. It was lost to the logic of the systematic, left-hemisphere-dominant system.

I am not trying to degrade the worldview of the Christian Reformed Church or the way that the Western, systematic mind works. I am simply saying that their worldview was not complete: There was and still is a lot to learn. I am grateful for this side of my heritage. The church provided our family with a nice brick house that I have many fond memories of growing up in. I enjoyed being the pastor’s daughter and being able to play in the church while my dad was formulating his Sunday message.

Although I do have these fond memories, I also was not completely accepted by the other Navajo children there. At that time, I believed that it was because I was the pastor’s daughter; however, they would often tease me that I was a “little white girl.” It made me sad that they thought I wasn’t Navajo enough. However, this was the 1970s, and it didn’t take long for the societal messaging around me to convince me that having a white body would cause me to be more successful in a white-bodied world—that my Dutch heritage was an advantage. But then, when I met my Dutch cousins, I was teased about being “the little Indian girl”—so I didn’t truly feel like I belonged on either side. Today, now that I am in my fifties, I know that it is a gift to be of both worlds, as it causes me to be a bridge between cultures. But at that time, I felt that I didn’t belong, that I was a half-breed—I didn’t belong to the Navajo; I didn’t belong to the Dutch. In not fulling belonging to either culture, I belonged nowhere.

There is an old saying in Navajo, “Bilagáana Bilasáana bił łikan.” This means, “The white man likes apples: red on the outside, white on the inside.” This is comedic wisdom. A white body wants a red body to think and act like them internally, even if they have a different skin color. That makes the white body feel safe, because it can predict the way that the red body thinks. There is nothing wrong with being a white-body thinker—I am one, myself. Yet I also know that there is more to the intelligence of our brain than the systematic thinking of the white body. I also think about the intangible feeling of the wind; I understand the unspoken, unarticulated self. I am both indoctrinated into systematic thinking and I identify with the wild wind that blows through my hair. I am not an apple. I am me.

How can we respond to this left-hemisphere-centric frame of mind and give the right hemisphere a voice? Consider what the right hemisphere’s skillset is. The right hemisphere cannot be indoctrinated or brainwashed as the left hemisphere can be; it perceives what is happening in the present time and looks to find the connections within everything. We need the skills of our right hemisphere to understand things holistically and from all points of view, and to understand our interconnectivity as a society. The right hemisphere understands how to bring us together; it understands our need to preserve a variety of cultural expressions in order to celebrate the complete history of all people.

This is why it is so important to connect with both sides of the brain when viewing the world and making decisions. If we are able to do this, even if the left hemisphere is given incomplete information—or even lied to—the right hemisphere will question it. It will ask, “Why aren’t things adding up? Why does the current situation appear one way, even though the information we’ve been given suggests something else?” This is how we can find the truth of a situation and move forward in a positive, holistic way.

Using Mental Intelligence for a Balanced Future

Understanding the functions of the two hemispheres of the brain and how they express themselves helps us encourage the positive aspects of ourselves both individually and collectively. Allowing more of the creative expression of the right hemisphere into our schools, workplaces, and societies—along with its connective, empathic, and holistic way of thinking—will change our collective endeavors for the positive. The left hemisphere, with its logical strengths, can be put to task to carry out the vision of our more balanced mind, putting into place systematic processes for a healthier future. The left hemisphere can help us to plan for our future—once it allows our right hemisphere to have a creative expressive voice—and develop the systems to get us to a brighter tomorrow.

There are so many things that we can accomplish through this kind of balanced reasoning and planning. It gives us the ability to think fast in times of crisis as well as to prepare for future situations. Consider the global response to COVID-19. At the end of 2019, the world was hit with the largest global pandemic in over a hundred years. Only a handful of individuals were still living who had experienced the 1918 global flu pandemic; very few of us had firsthand experience with a pandemic on this scale, and we could only rely on historical records and current science to figure out what to do.

Hence, global scientists and leaders had to react quickly and mindfully to address the most recent pandemic. While looking at the history of pandemics could help, the modern world is very different than the world of our ancestors: Our technology is different; our healthcare is different; our population density is different. We needed the intelligence of reasoning and planning to help us discern the differences and plan a path forward that fit our current situation.

Additionally, this global pandemic caused separation between humans, due to shelter-in-place orders, social distancing, and quarantine. We had to create new ways of doing business, going shopping, and getting together to celebrate. Our mind’s intellect enabled us to create these alternative ways to approach life and help us stay connected to others. Our left hemisphere needed to work together with our right hemisphere in order to create a systematic plan. To carry out that plan, we also needed to have the capacity for diplomacy—connecting and relating to others to form allies. At times, the allies that we make may share a common goal or outcome; however, they may disagree with us on how to achieve this goal and outcome. This is an opportunity for our minds to expand in order to see what the other is saying.

The ability to work with both hemispheres in order to understand different worldviews through empathy and create a reasonable plan that we can all agree on in order to create a balanced future is an example of Hózhǫ́. To reach this balanced future, we need not only our heart and gut, but the mind’s vision, reason, and planning skills to achieve this goal.

Examples of Brain Intelligence

I am bicultural. I am 50 percent Navajo and 50 percent Dutch-American; I was raised with both cultures as a part of my heritage. This means that I see things from several very different perspectives. I will give you an example.

If I were standing before a tree and someone asked me to describe it, there are two different ways I could approach this. Western cultures tend to explain things through labeling or naming things. This approach segregates and separates things, breaking them down into smaller parts to understand the bigger picture. Hence, I might think, “The tree has roots, a trunk, branches, and leaves. This is an oak tree.” I would separate and name the parts to get to know the tree. This type of thinking is very scientific, and it works well most of the time. However, there is another way.

In Navajo culture, we describe things as part of a web of relationships, not just component parts. Hence, in order to get to know the tree, I would need a connection to the tree. I would stand before the tree and see it as a complete organism. I would notice that the leaves of the tree were moving in one gentle direction, and I might notice that my own hair was moving in the same direction. At this point, I would connect with the tree and recognize that the wind was moving the tree and me in the same motion, that we were connected by this unseen force. This is how I would get to know the tree. Again, like the right and left hemispheres of the brain, these are simply two different ways of understanding the world.

Here is a wonderful example of how my bicultural brain works. In my mid-thirties, I made many trips down to the Navajo Reservation, returning to the land of my birth. Usually, I would stop at my parents’ house and pick up my father in the early morning. After having breakfast at a local café, we would stop at the grocery store and buy some food to take to the reservation. It is customary to bring food when you visit a traditional medicine person—in this case, my Aunt Alice.

Aunt Alice was widely known as a High Priestess of the Peyote Way. Natives would drive from all around to visit her as she would take them into ritual—the sacred way of the Peyote. When I was a child, my mother would tell me, “Don’t get too close to Aunt Alice—she might take a button or a lock of your hair.” By this, she meant that Aunt Alice might do some sort of Navajo magic, and that even though she had good intent, it was not the white man’s god—the Dutch Christian Reformed Way—hence, it was bad. As a child, her warnings had frightened me; as an adult, who was now looking into these things for myself, this trip to Aunt Alice was an adventure.

My father was the elder to Aunt Alice, and since their parents had passed away, my father was the head of our clan, and therefore he was held in high respect. Because I was his daughter, everyone gave me respect, too—not because of who I am, but because of who he was. Although everyone knew that my Aunt Alice was a medicine person, they had to respect my father and his spiritual path first. He had found his medicine in the white man’s god. So there was an unspoken understanding within the clan: Honor the white man’s god while my dad was there, and go back to being a traditional medicine person when he is gone. Nevertheless, I could tell that my father loved his sister, my Aunt Alice. Although they both had this understanding, he was happy to take me to get to know her.

As my dad and I were shopping for potatoes, Blue Bird flour, apples, and other things Aunt Alice might want, I suddenly said, “We need to get coffee.”

My dad said, “Joy-Joy, coffee is expensive right now.” I insisted that I would pay for it, but that we needed to bring Aunt Alice coffee. So off we went, with our potatoes, flour, apples, and coffee, to see Aunt Alice.

We arrived at her trailer on the reservation, and Aunt Alice came out, jovial and almost dancing, like an excited little girl—so full of life. She gave her big brother a hug and came to embrace me, too. I pulled out the coffee I had brought her, and she looked deeply into my eyes and said in Navajo, “You heard me!” My dad needed to translate for me; I didn’t understand. She continued, “I have asked everyone that has gone into town to bring me coffee, and they always forget. This morning, I spoke into the wind, ‘Bring me coffee’—and YOU heard me.” My father told me what she said, not batting an eye, as though this experience were completely natural.

This is when my Aunt Alice began to see me more for the person that I am. Later on, she pulled me aside (with her daughter to translate for us), and said, “I knew that my brother would have a daughter who would be a medicine woman. I have known this. It is you!” I felt seen. Not only did I feel that my Navajo side was being seen, but that it was being seen by the spirit of the Navajo that my Aunt Alice carried within her. She knew my mother, yet she saw me as a medicine woman.

The mind will only see what it can recognize. Even with all of the logic stored within our brains, most individuals will only see the world through the lens of their own culture. When my Navajo aunt looked at me, she saw a medicine woman. But my mother came from a culture that did not recognize medicine people, and because she considered me to be of her culture rather than Navajo, she would never have seen me as a medicine woman. Personally, I can understand my Aunt Alice’s way of thinking, but I can also understand my mother’s thought process. This is a small example of what it means to have a bicultural brain—I can think in two different ways.

My dad had never kept me from traditional Navajo ways, but it was a different time back then. It was a time of separation and segregation from traditional red-body ways, as they were still seen as inferior. The traditional ways lived within my father, but he had been punished for them. My father was a holy man. Traditionally, he would have become a medicine man, but he chose to follow the white man’s god, the god of my mother. Even to this day, I struggle with understanding this dynamic. Was it my mother who kept me separate from the traditional Navajo ways? Did she do this because she believed that the white race was better? If so, why did she marry a Navajo man? Was she simply trying to “save” him from his savage ways?

As a bicultural person, born to both the suppressed culture and the dominant culture, it has been hard to come to terms with all of this within myself. Maybe I am speaking about a much larger dynamic here, a cultural struggle that we are still coming to terms with. Maybe this is why I am writing this book—because I have discovered my own authentic voice within this diametrically opposed ideology.

I am not suggesting that you think one way or the other; I am inviting you to consider both and find the balance within. When approaching anything in life, do not forget your own totality—your wholeness.

Exercise: Find Your Mental Body’s Wisdom

In the last two chapters, we focused on connecting with the wisdom of our gut and our heart. In this chapter, we are focused on the brain and the mind, so this exercise will help us tap into that wisdom and learn how to activate and balance the right and left hemisphere.

Just like we did in the exercises of the previous chapters, place your fingertips together and do some simple breathwork for a few moments. Slowly inhale through the nose for a few counts, hold the breath within your body for a few counts, exhale through the mouth, and repeat. You can do this as long as you wish; however, three to five deep breaths will do the trick. Now move your consciousness through your body, starting with your head, and begin to relax as you move your thoughts downward.

Now gently place your right hand on your left upper arm and pat it nicely. In return, gently place your left hand on your right upper arm and pat it nicely. Continue to do this exercise for a few moments, alternating from right to left. What you are doing is integrating your right and left hemisphere somatically (through body movement). Remember, the right hemisphere controls the left side of the body, and vice versa. This movement awakens and stimulates each hemisphere, and connects your physical body with your mental body.

If you would like to increase this stimulation, sing a song (which expresses the creative right hemisphere) with words (which expresses the logical left hemisphere). This is an active way to allow natural communication between both hemispheres. Practice and repeat.

Journal Prompts

1. Now that we have a better scientific understanding of the mental body and the brain . . .

How has this influenced/impacted/affected your self-knowledge?

How has this influenced/impacted/affected your self-empowerment?

How has this influenced/impacted/affected your self-actualization?

2. Now that we have explored the purpose of the mental body and the brain’s intelligence . . .

How has this influenced/impacted/affected your self-knowledge?

How has this influenced/impacted/affected your self-empowerment?

How has this influenced/impacted/affected your self-actualization?

3. Is there other knowledge that your mental body and your brain holds that wasn’t identified?

What is this knowledge?

4. What are the challenges that you face in learning to listen to your mental body?

5. How can you overcome these challenges?

6. Do you have any other thoughts that you would like to record? Please feel free to do so.

5
Spiritual and Soul Intelligence

What intelligence does the spiritual body and soul hold? How does it work? How do we work with it? How do we tap into this intelligence in order to gain a greater understanding of ourselves and live a more conscious and mindful life? In this chapter we will learn how the spiritual body provides us with knowledge and guides us.

The spiritual body is the only one of the four bodies that doesn’t have a tangible, physical counterpart. Our physical body is connected to our gut; our emotional body is connected to our heart; our mental body is connected to our brain. They all have a tangible form and an intangible form. The form taken by the spiritual body is what I will call the soul: the lifeforce that animates every part of us. While it may not be tangible in the way the gut, heart, and brain are, we can still see it through its expressions of willpower and authenticity and its effects in the world.

I am not going to outline all of the various theological or religious definitions of the soul and the spirit, or the different perspectives on the soul that people have held throughout history. But, briefly, most cultures believe in the existence of an unseen force within us. This force might be viewed as something that brings us together collectively or distinguishes us as authentic individuals; it might be seen as something that provides us with a higher calling or that simply explains our collective or individual purpose. Whatever the case, most will agree that there is some kind of lifeforce within us—this is what I am referring to, simplistically, as the soul and the spirit.

The Intelligence of Knowing and Guiding

If we cannot see the soul or the spiritual body with our naked eye, how do we know that it exists? Well, because we can see the effect that it has on the world. We can see how it comes through us when we “spiritedly” root for our favorite sports team. It comes through us in the form of passion for a project that we are working on. It comes through us when we feel a calling and respond to our soul’s purpose in life.

You cannot see the wind, but you can see the leaves blowing. You cannot see the magnetic pull of the moon, but you can see the ocean rise and fall with the tides. You cannot see your love, but you can see how it directs your life. Some of the most powerful forces are unseen—but the proof of their existence is in how they affect the natural world and us as individuals. The spiritual body cannot be held in a scientific container. The beauty of the spirit is that it is undefinable and unmeasurable.

If this is the case, how are we to understand the soul and spirit? In this chapter, we will examine the spirit from three main perspectives: as the subjective spirit (the inner human), the objective spirit (found in our larger society), and the absolute spirit (shown in art, religion, and philosophy).[10] The subjective spirit refers to the inner human spirit; we find the subjective spirit in our individual psychology, soul, and consciousness. It is the expression of spirit as it reveals itself from within an individual.

The objective spirit refers to intrapersonal relationships—the way in which our internal world extends and connects to others or the outer world. It expresses itself through our concepts of ethics, abstract rights, and morality. It is our connection with the larger society. Objective spirit does not only exist within one individual; it lives within a society, a community, a group, or a tribe—within the collective.

The absolute spirit refers to how spirit is expressed and understood within art, religions, and philosophy. Expressions of spirit contain the same truths regardless of which of these categories they are expressed through, although it may take different forms. The arts reveal truth in aesthetic forms to solicit feelings and sensations that move you. Religion seeks truth through its representation in stories about deities and humanity. Philosophy attempts to comprehend the truth within rigorous, logical arguments. Hence, truth is felt through art, represented within religion, and comprehended by philosophy.

This is when we begin to understand how mutable and ever-expansive spirit and spiritual intelligence is! It is beyond the knowledge of self and beyond the knowledge of the group. It is individual (subjective spirit), but not limited to an individual. It is within a group or collective (objective spirit), but is not owned by the group or collective. When we boil it down to its essence (absolute spirit), it is a force that expresses itself through all of human creation: art, religions, and philosophy. It is a deeper understanding of life, death, and rebirth. It is an expansive expression of that which is beyond. It is a feeling of something unseen that is impacting our lives and the lives of others. It might sound like I am starting to preach about a deity, but I am not. I am speaking about the absolute spirit and its expression of the truth about everything—even the paradoxical truths that life brings.

Knowing the truth of things is power. It is an amazing gift, but it needs to be treated with the utmost respect. There is a difference between “power over” and “power to.” Some will abuse their power over other people—but we can also use our power to effect positive change within the world. I seek guidance from spirit, and I also offer guidance and knowledge to others. But this is not so that I can convince them that my ways are the best ways—it is the opposite. I like to encourage others to dialogue with me, knowing that with enough encouragement, their own spirit will come forth and they will know what to do. One could say that I enjoy guiding people to absolute spirit.

The more that you know, the more that you will be able to understand yourself, your community, and the world around you. Knowing yourself provides you with the ability to continue to self-actualize. Knowing others gives you the opportunity to share quality time and to share love. Knowing the world around you shows you how you are a part of the bigger picture. This intelligence helps us consider how we want to show up in the world for ourselves and others.

So what is your spirit calling you to do? If my spirit aligns with the idea that I am a hero, I know that I will meet challenges, and my goal is to overcome. If my spirit knows that I am a survivor, I know that I will meet struggles, and my goal is to live through these circumstances. If my spirit knows that it is creative, I know that I will create, and my goal is to do so. There are endless expressions of the soul’s calling. If I come to know my spirit, I will know who I am and what my goals are within this lifetime; this brings purpose to your life.

My father was a naturally spiritual man. I have inherited this trait from him in the same way that I have inherited his brown eyes, his nose, and his high cheekbones. He did not live in his mind—he lived in his spirit, in his soul, and he used it as his compass. When I was young, and I was trying to understand something I was reading for homework, he would say to me, “Read a passage, and then take a walk until that passage becomes alive within you.” By this, he was telling me that even if you might quickly understand something in your mind, that doesn’t mean you will immediately understand it in your body, emotions, and spirit.

Listen to your soul’s calling and your soul’s mission. Knowing what it is and what its goals are brings a sense of purpose to your life. This is the purpose of spiritual intelligence: to know our calling and guide us to accomplish our goals. When we know our spirit, its knowledge will guide us. It will guide our physical body and what we physically do. It will guide our emotional body, bringing it joy and purpose. It will guide our mental body and our personal focus so that we can evolve. It guides our life—it becomes our compass. Listen to your spirit and allow it to reveal itself to you.

Exercise: Discerning Subjective, Objective, and Absolute Spirit

Before going further, take some time to think about or journal about the following questions.

1. How does your individual spirit (subjective spirit) reveal itself to you? How do you understand the concept of spirit within yourself? Maybe it is through your personality, or your astrological sign, or something else. There are no wrong answers, it is simply wise to know what this means to you.

2. How does the group’s spirit (objective spirit) reveal itself to you? How do you understand the concept of spirit within a group? (Think about a sports arena—there is a lot of group spirit there.) Now think about how spirit reveals itself to you through connections. These can be loving connections, healing connections, or teaching connections; again, there are no right or wrong answers, it is only important to know how group spirit reveals itself to you.

3. How does the absolute spirit reveal itself to you? Is it mostly through the expression of art, or religion, or philosophy? Keep in mind that all three of these can hold the same kinds of truth—they all have things to tell us about the dark and the light, the negative and the positive, and other expressions of spirit.

Challenges in Listening to Our Soul

The intelligence of the spirit and its knowing and guiding abilities are unlimited, but there are still challenges we face in learning to listen to the spiritual body and the soul. One challenge comes from the idea that spiritual intelligence lies not within ourselves but within another—a person or force that we believe is more powerful than we are. When we do this, we might stop listening to ourselves, blindly follow, and become “sheeple.”

We are allowed to question; we are allowed to learn; we are allowed to know. While others may know more about certain topics than we do, we need to remember that we look to those people to learn and to grow our own understanding and knowledge. As a teacher, I share my knowledge and experience to help my students gently wake up to their own authentic wisdom. The greatest teacher lies within you, as that is where wisdom solidifies itself. I respect each student, just as I respect myself as a student. We all get to be curious and to learn. How can we learn if we buy into the idea that we do not have our own internal intelligence? The truth is that the intelligence of each of your four bodies is your birthright.

Here we find another challenge that our spirit and our spiritual intelligence faces: the limitations of some religions. Some religions teach that if you do not worship god the way that I do, then you are wrong and are condemned to hell. Don’t get me wrong—I am fascinated by religion, by how we answer the big questions: “What created me?” “Why am I here?” “Where do I go after this life?” But some religious groups are limited by the idea that they are the only group that is right. This separates them from others through judgment and close-mindedness. The challenge comes not from an individual selecting a certain religion as it works best for them—that is amazing. The challenge to our spirit comes from the idea that god can only fit within one religious expression. If absolute spirit is expressed through religion, and we are limited to only believing in one way, this limits our spiritual growth.

Similarly, I love philosophy and study it as much as I can: Plato, Socrates, Nietzsche, Hegel. However, philosophy can share the same challenges as religion. I will adopt certain philosophical beliefs of my own, but I can also appreciate some of those that I don’t necessarily agree with. I cannot respect the idea that only one philosophy will answer all questions for all people—it takes a plethora of philosophical ideas to express absolute spirit.

The idea that there is only one way for everyone is a threat to spiritual expression and spiritual growth. We are all authentic, unique expressions of life and spirit. In my book Wisdom of the Natural World, I introduce the idea that the natural world shows us how to be with others that are unlike ourselves. I am Granddaughter Crow—hence, the raven and the crow are my main spirit animals. However, my husband’s spirit animal is a wolf. I do not tell my husband to see the world from a birds-eye view, and he does not tell me that I need to quit looking down from the sky and ground myself, like he can. I share with him how I see the world; he shares with me how he sees the world. We are both heading in the same direction, just seeing it from different vantage points. There are so many ways that absolute spirit expresses itself—we should not limit them.

Another challenge that our spiritual body faces in this world is censorship: censorship of artistic expression, censorship of history, and censorship of books. Book banning, for example, is something that continues to happen within the United States. I find this insulting; we are intelligent enough to read a book and come to our own conclusions. We are not so easily influenced that we cannot even entertain an idea without adopting it as our own. If artistic expression is a form of absolute spirit, censoring artistic expression is limiting to our spiritual growth.

Here’s another example of what it looks like when absolute spiritual expression is limited or censored. In many schools across the United States, the teaching of critical race theory has been banned. Critical race theory is a theoretical framework that explains how racism endures within society: that it is not simply a case of individual prejudices but rather a systemic bias built deeply into the structure of our laws and policies. Critical race theory shows us how the way our society is structured privileges some groups at the expense of others, causing social and economic disparity.

This hot topic hinges on the question of whether our school systems teach or do not teach a true, accurate version of history. Those who want to ban the teaching of critical race theory are concerned because they want to sweep historic racism under the rug, excluding truths around slavery and the genocide of Indigenous people. The truth around these two topics is frightening to those who currently hold power in society, because if we truly understood the impact of historical racism, we would have to have conversations about fair restitution and reparation for those who were harmed, and those who are still being harmed, by racism.

This kind of censorship within education limits young minds and strips truth from our consciousness. It also limits our collective ability to understand and appreciate different cultural expressions. As a Navajo woman, I believe the honorable thing to do would be to teach all of our children the complete history—not only for restitution and reparations, but to honor our cultures. For example, when I was in school, I was taught that white settlers sat down at the Thanksgiving feast with Indigenous people, and they were all friends, while the truth was that colonial settlers enslaved many Indigenous people. Moreover, my father was taught in a residential school that because of the color of his skin and his culture, he was a savage. Stripping these truths from our education and from our minds is ultimately devastating to our spirit.

Regardless of your race, what you believe in is the bedrock of your identity. (If this statement speaks to you and you want to find out more, I recommend picking up my book titled Belief, Being, and Beyond; it speaks to this concept in greater depth.) Some of our greatest beliefs are held within our spiritual body and its expressions through art, religion, and philosophy. If our spiritual expression could be unleashed, without censorship, to explore the world in its entirety, our spirit would grow. And in the process of this growing and evolving, we would find out that we are more alike than we are different. We would understand that we neither need to dominate over others nor be controlled by them. We would find our truest knowledge and guidance, impacting each of our four bodies of existence for the better.

Examples of Soul Intelligence

Here is a personal story about playing within the realms of the soul and spirit. When I was five years old, I was singing to myself while playing in our backyard. My mother heard me singing and ran into the house and got her tape recorder. Without my knowledge, she recorded what I was singing, and played it for my dad. I had been singing a song in the Navajo language, which I was not fluent in. I was singing that the creator created my father to come here and to serve the people, that the one who sent him is the one who lives within him.

When I was a little older, my mother told me this story. I asked her how I could have known how to sing in fluent Navajo if I didn’t speak it. She responded, “It is the language of your soul. It lives within you.” But my mother was a devout Christian, and she further explained that although it might be the language of my soul, as Christians, we must not be driven by our own soul, but by the Holy Spirit—the spirit of the Christian god. Once again, I felt dismissed, even though it was an unexplainable phenomenon in my life.

This essence that is embodied within us, regardless of whether we call it a spirit or a soul, is a part of us no matter where we go in life. Although I was young when the prophecy about my father came through me, it never left me. Some Navajo medicine people are called “singers”—hatałii—spending hours or days singing songs to the spiritual world in traditional ceremony. Was I unknowingly tapping into this spiritual practice? As I grew up, I would encounter many more unexplainable phenomena in connection with my Navajo ancestry, which I wasn’t able to place together until I was an adult.

When I was in my mid-thirties, I had a dream that I went to visit my clan, my Navajo family, on the Navajo Reservation just outside of Farmington, New Mexico. While I was visiting them in my dream, I looked around the landscape and saw a beautiful white horse. The horse was so majestic that I couldn’t take my eyes off of it—it was as though we were telepathically communicating with each other. As I slowly approached this magical being, I had a feeling that I was seeing a dear old friend. There was a deep connection between us. Moments later, I hopped up on its back and rode wildly across the open range. The sense of freedom that rushed through me in this dream was both familiar and a little frightening—as though I, too, would become wild through my connection with this horse. When I woke up, I wrote down this profound dream.

Days and weeks passed, and I couldn’t stop thinking about the dream of the white horse. I decided to call him Spirit Horse; I wanted to name him, due to our strong sense of connection. Even though it was a dream, it felt very familiar and almost real to me.

Months later, I decided to drive down to visit my father and walk upon this land that had been in my dream. Although I can remember visiting it when I was a child (we would spend our summers there), I hadn’t been back in almost twenty years. At the south edge of Farmington, New Mexico, there is a bridge. Just over the bridge you see a sign that reads, “Navajo Reservation.” When I cross this bridge, a feeling comes over me that I am entering a different time—here I am, driving onto the land that my clan has lived on since the Long Walk of the Navajo in 1865. Trailing off on a dusty dirt road, I finally see the remnants of my grandparents’ hogan on my left. This is the land that my father was born on. I made it to my cousins’ home, and they invited me to spend the afternoon with them.

Later that day, I began to tell them about the dream that I’d had and about Spirit Horse. They didn’t even bat an eye, and said, “Oh, yes, Spirit Horse—do you want to ride him?” I was shocked and confused for a moment—did something get lost in translation? So, I clarified, “I had a dream of a white horse that I call Spirit Horse.” They replied, “Yes, would you like to ride him? Would you like to ride Spirit Horse?” They motioned to a stable in the distance. As it turned out, there actually was a white horse there on the land, and his name was Spirit. What’s more, this horse was the grandson of my grandfather’s horse. Was my DNA speaking to me? How could this be? Of course I wanted to ride Spirit Horse!

They saddled him up, and I mounted; I felt like I had been tossed back into my dream. He walked a few steps and then . . . stopped. I asked him to move, but he refused. I could sense that he didn’t like me sitting on his back. I dismounted and tried to pet him. He looked at me, but it felt like he was looking through me, and then he nipped at me—he didn’t bite me, but he certainly was sending a message to me. I left that day feeling as though this horse had told me, “You don’t know who you are. You can’t ride me until you remember who you are.” It was as though the horse could sense that I didn’t truly know my spirit, that I had forgotten my soul. On a subsequent visit, I approached the horse again as though it were my teacher, or a way to measure if I had truly connected with my spirit. I didn’t pass the test the second time, either; he reared back and showed me his teeth. The third time that I went, he had been put out to pasture, and I never saw him again. To this day, I still think about this horse. This memory keeps me striving to find the wisdom of my own soul and my own spirit.

Exercise: Find Your Spiritual Body’s Wisdom

Over the last three chapters, we have focused on our gut for a “gut check”; we have felt the love in our heart and radiated it out into the world; and we practiced balancing the right and left hemispheres of our brains. This time we are going to find the wisdom of our spiritual body.

Just like we did before, place your fingertips together and do some simple breathwork for a few moments. Slowly inhale through the nose for a few counts, hold the breath within your body for a few counts, exhale through the mouth, and repeat. Doing this breathwork relaxes you and brings your consciousness into yourself and your breathing. You can do this as long as you wish; however, three to five deep breaths will do the trick. Now move your consciousness through your body—focus on your head and begin to relax as you move your thoughts down throughout your body. Now move into your heart space and connect with your heart, thinking positive thoughts and radiating them out.

Move into your mental body and focus your energy on your brain. Gently place your right hand on your left upper arm and tap it nicely. In return, gently place your left hand on your right upper arm and tap it nicely—you can alternate tapping from right to left to create a nice flow. Continue to do this exercise for a few moments, to connect your right and left hemispheres.

In the last leg of this exercise, we are going to move into the spiritual body. Place your fingertips together again, but this time, close any space between your hands, placing your palms against each other. This is a position used in several different cultures to accompany prayer, and in others as a form of greeting. In this exercise, let us think of it as the divine spirit within you recognizing the divine spirit in the world around you. For a moment, recognize your internal spirit—the subjective spirit. Now, recognize the collective spirit—the objective spirit. Finally, recognize the absolute spirit that connects us all.

The art that you create or appreciate, I recognize. The religion that you have, I recognize. The philosophy that you have, I recognize. Why? Because I recognize my own, and as such, I recognize you. The divine in me recognizes the divine in you. My body, my heart, my mind, and my spirit know and continue to get to know themselves. As such, I am happy to know you.

Journal Prompts

1. Now that we have a better scientific understanding of the spiritual body and the soul . . .

How has this influenced/impacted/affected your self-knowledge?

How has this influenced/impacted/affected your self-empowerment?

How has this influenced/impacted/affected your self-actualization?

2. Now that we have explored the purpose of the spiritual body and the soul’s intelligence . . .

How has this influenced/impacted/affected your self-knowledge?

How has this influenced/impacted/affected your self-empowerment?

How has this influenced/impacted/affected your self-actualization?

3. Is there other knowledge that your spiritual body and your soul holds that wasn’t identified?

What is this knowledge?

What have you gained from understanding it within yourself?

4. What are the challenges that you face in learning to listen to your spiritual body?

5. How can you overcome these challenges?

6. Do you have any other thoughts that you would like to record? Please feel free to do.

6
How They All Work Together

In the previous chapters, we looked at each of the different wisdoms or intelligences of the four bodies in order to find Hózhǫ́. As we approach the concept of Hózhǫ́, we must recognize that connecting with our internal narrative will organically create a deeper sense of self. We first identify each of the four bodies of existence, and next we discover how they can all work together. When the four bodies are working together in harmony, we will find Hózhǫ́.

Let’s briefly recap the different intelligences of the four bodies of existence:

1. Physical Body: Reflexes—for survival
2. Emotional Body: Radiance—for connection
3. Mental Body: Reason—for making plans
4. Spiritual Body: Knowledge—for guidance

Creating a space and time where you can check in and reflect on these four aspects of yourself is sacred. Within this space and time, you explore Hózhǫ́—finding the balance within. I recommend doing this as a daily practice. The more that we do this, the easier it gets. I like to visualize that I am sitting in a circle with each different voice and listening to what they are each saying from their different positions. Once you are comfortable with the four bodies and their different types of intelligence, you can check in with them constantly throughout the day.

We can ask our internal council any question that we want. This can include big questions: “Am I happy with my life right now? Should I change my job? Are my current relationships right for me?” It can also help us with small questions, like “Should I go on vacation?” The main point is that we learn to check in with ourselves. However, this is not a quick little check in—this is a meeting of your internal council, which seeks Hózhǫ́: harmony.

Remember, we are recognizing every aspect of self—including aspects that may have once been told to ignore. We are recognizing them, respecting their perspectives, and giving them a voice, leading to a fuller experience of life and an authentic expression of self.

Integration of the Four Bodies

How can we integrate the four bodies of existence within ourselves, so that we can find balance, harmony, and Hózhǫ́? Let’s begin with an example of how the mental and emotional bodies can become integrated. As we learned in the previous chapters, our neurons or “thinking cells” branch out to connect with other neurons, linking different organs and parts of our body to our nervous system. In their book What the Bleep Do We Know!?, William Arntz, Betsy Chasse, and Mark Vicente propose that clusters of neurons work together to create what they call neuronets.[11] These neuronets connect with one another to make sense of complex ideas, memories, and emotions. For example, the neuronet for a “tomato” might link together concepts such as as “red,” “food,” “juicy,” “round,” maybe even “salad” or “sandwich.” These neuronets fire together so that our visual cortex will see a “tomato.”[12]

All of our experiences are stored in our neuronets, including our experiences of different relationships, cultural expressions, and religious beliefs. These experiences additionally hold certain emotions for each of us, such as love, joy, or sadness. Taken together, they weave the fabric of our perception of the world. To take our “tomato” example one step further, if you have a positive memory involving a tomato, seeing or thinking about tomatoes might make you feel happy. (For example, my mom grew tomatoes, and it brings back the feeling of being a child in summertime.) This is one of ways that the brain (mental body) connects with our emotional body.

Another connection is made when we exercise our physical body; this releases endorphins into our body and heightens our emotions. Some call this a “runner’s high”—which I used to experience when I was a runner. Of course, you don’t have to run—our body will also release endorphins when we dance or engage in other physical activities. When we engage our physical body through movement or exercise, it has a positive impact on both the emotional body and the mental body; it is a way to automatically connect the physical, emotional, and mental bodies.

In order to integrate all four bodies, we now need to engage our spiritual body as well. How do we do this? Keep in mind that when I am speaking about the spiritual body, this includes team spirit or being a spirited person—it doesn’t necessarily have to have a higher power attached to it. It could also mean dancing to music that stirs your soul, or simply being mindful when doing a task—completely engaged within the moment. This is the art of Hózhǫ́: being mindful of the physical body, the emotional body, the mental body, and the spiritual body all at the same time. It is not necessarily difficult in practice; it is a smooth, free flow of energy. There might be many times when we are moving through life that this organically happens.

Here are some examples of what it looks like to align our spiritual bodies with the other bodies. If you are at a stadium watching a team sport, and you are jumping up and down, cheering on your team, and connecting with your fellow fans around you, you are engaging and aligning your four bodies. Any kind of music that touches your soul, or speaks to your spirited self, can also engage the four bodies. Or think about a drumming circle: the act of drumming or dancing together with others not only releases endorphins and helps regulate the four bodies within yourself, but it also has the ability to regulate the collective group. If you have ever seen or participated in an Indigenous dance circle or powwow, you know that this happens naturally, without having to learn how and why it is occurring. Children also naturally align their four bodies when they are playing, jumping around, and having a good time together. As adults, we can do this through group exercise classes (a spin class, a yoga class, a dance class) as well.

The final example here is perhaps more spiritually focused than the others: going on a pilgrimage in order to seek answers or enlightenment. During a pilgrimage, you engage the bodies with conscious direction and with an outcome in mind—to find peace, enlightenment, or wisdom. This could also mean simply taking a trip or going on a journey to unplug from the rest of the world and to reconnect with self. When you do this, take time to engage each of your four bodies and find the balance within: for example, a mindful hike; working on artistic projects; and taking time to sit in silence and journal.

What are other examples that you can think of or do within your life to engage and align the four bodies? Whatever you do, the key is simply to move the physical body enough to release endorphins, for a spiritual or spirited reason.

The more that we can consciously do things that engage all of the four bodies, the more that happens naturally within our daily lives. Think about our biosphere, where different organisms come together in a natural integration and balance. So it is with each of us. If we understand that the four bodies of experience naturally want to integrate and work together, and we create an environment where they are able to do so, they will. Or think of it like a muscle; the more we use it, the easier it becomes. After a while, it will become normal to find alignment of the four bodies of existence, because we were created to be in balance: Hózhǫ́.

Examples

As an adult, when I began to do these exercises—to align my four bodies, listen to them, and integrate them—my authentic self began to emerge. When I was young, I had wanted so badly to erase the Navajo features in my face, but as I learned to listen to my internal council, I began to embrace these features and my true self. Here is another part of my story.

In my mid-thirties, I began to explore different spiritual concepts beyond the white man’s god and the Christian belief system with which I had been raised. I found myself in a community that was similarly interested in learning from a variety of spiritual approaches. Oddly, people in this community began to ask me if I would teach them about Shamanism. I had never been asked this question before, and I would politely smile and change the subject. However, the question kept rolling through my mind, to the extent that I started looking up different Shamanic training courses in my area. All of these courses were taught by white people, but I thought that I would need a certificate or some sort of accreditation from them to prove that I am valid. (This is such a left-hemisphere-centric way of viewing the world—needing a special piece of paper to tell you that you are worthy.)

Did I need this special piece of paper or not? For months I struggled with this concept, until one day I decided to ask my Aunt Alice how she became a medicine person—how she became known as a High Priestess of the Peyote Way. During one of my visits to the reservation with my dad, I found myself sitting with Aunt Alice in her trailer, wanting to ask this question, but not knowing how. I knew my dad would need to translate for me, and I didn’t want to offend his Christian beliefs. As a result, I just sat there with this question on my mind.

Within moments, my Aunt Alice began to tell me a story that my dad translated for me. She told me that one time, when she was a young girl, she was walking outside when the wind changed direction. So she followed the wind. The wind blew as she walked, and then it suddenly stopped blowing—so she stopped, too. There in front of her was an old, fallen tree. She looked at the base of the tree and found a little yellow flower, and it taught her its ways. She was speaking about the button of the Peyote cactus. She did not learn how to be a medicine person from another person; she did not need a certificate. She learned from the plant itself!

Some time after this visit, I was having lunch with a group of women, and we started discussing Shamanic understandings of the world. One of them asked me, “Are you a Shaman?” I responded, “Until they stop calling me that, I suppose that I am.” I didn’t choose the title of Shaman or medicine person for myself. I simply am who I am, and this title came from the people. Not necessarily Navajo people—people of all skin colors have referred to me as a Shaman. I hold this title with great respect, knowing that when people stop referring to me as a Shaman or medicine person, I will know that I have stopped behaving as such. Again, it is not a certificate that one earns through coursework—it is a way of life. What is the way of the Shaman? Ask the wind. Ask the trees. Ask the animals—they taught me.

Exercise and Journal Prompts

As you get more and more used to integrating your four bodies, continue the journaling practice you started with the earlier chapters. This helps you to better understand your inner world and track your progress. For this journaling exercise, you should first write a question down that you want to ask of your four bodies. For example: “Should I invest more time within this relationship?” “Should I spend money on this or that?” “Should I start walking more for my health, or is yoga better for me?” We’ll now ask each of the four bodies what they think about this question.

1. Tap into your physical body and gut. Sense its reactions to your question: Does it relax or tense up? Can you feel your body saying “yes” or “no” to this question? There is no right or wrong answer—simply write down whatever comes to you.

2. Tap into your emotional body and heart. What emotion(s) come up when you read this question? It is OK to have conflicting emotions—for example, you might feel mostly excited, but also a little scared. All emotions are here to provide you with a fuller view of what your heart is telling you. Write down any and all emotions, as well as how strong or subtle the emotion is.

3. Tap into your mental body and brain. Remember to connect with both the left and right hemispheres of your brain—you might want to write out your thoughts in words (left hemisphere) but also draw a picture (right hemisphere). Write down anything and everything that comes to mind when considering the question posed.

4. Tap into your spiritual body and soul. Simply sit and remain open to receiving the answer to your question. There are so many different ways that our spirit can communicate with us. You might get a picture that comes to you in your mind. You might hear a still, small voice. You might simply get a sense of knowing, without understanding how you know. The more that you listen, the easier it gets. Some would also refer to this as your intuition. Write down these responses or answers and how they came to you.

Once you’ve done this, review all of the answers you have received prior to making a decision. It is natural for the four bodies to see things from different positions. If this happens, think about a possible compromise, and then again check in with all of them. This will lead you to making decisions with a fuller awareness of self.

Although this process might sound arduous, it does get easier and faster the more that you practice it. Remember that you can always return to the exercises within each of the specific chapters if you are having a difficult time tapping into one or more of your four bodies. Figure out what works for you and modify it as you wish—make it your own. At times, the complete answer will not come immediately. Maybe this is because you need more time to consider or collect more information. At other times, the answer will come really quickly, as asking the question immediately makes each of your four bodies feel relaxed or excited—a sense of yes.

Once you are used to this process, you can begin to ask bigger questions. For example: What are my personal strengths? What do I need to work on more and what do I need to let go of? What do I need more of in my life? Ask whatever questions you would like. Ask questions that lead you to self-knowledge. Ask questions that lead you to self-empowerment. The beauty of working with your internal council is that it is organic and comes straight from you—which is another step toward self-actualization.

PART II
Internal Narrative and External Application

In the first part of this book, we learned how to connect with your internal council and understand what it is telling you—how to hear yourself. In part II of this book, we will learn how to apply that knowledge and build a bridge between the internal and external world, helping you to live a healthier, more authentic, and more purposeful life.

As Shakespeare said, “All the world’s a stage.”[13] We are all characters on the stage of life. Sometimes you are cast in someone else’s story. Sometimes others become a part of your narrative. This is the premise of part II in this book. First, in chapters 7 and 8, we will examine the formation of our internal narratives. We’ll first think about internal narrative using two different examples: archetypes and the twelve signs of the Western zodiac. We’ll then reflect on the external factors that shape our internal narrative. In chapters 9 and 10, we will move through the process of examining and assessing whether or not this narrative aligns with the life that you want for yourself. If it doesn’t, or if it needs to be adjusted, I will show you ways you can change this narrative.

Once we change or adjust our internal narrative, we show up differently in the world and in our lives. Hence, we need to be prepared for this change—to understand the impacts it may have on you. In the final chapter, we’ll once again listen to our physical body, emotional body, mental body, and spiritual body, and consider what they have to tell us about how these changes better align us with our best possible life.

In the beginning of this book, I shared with you the plight of my father in the residential schools in the 1930s—the fact that he was stripped of his Navajo identity and culture. As his youngest daughter, I would like to continue this story and share my journey of finding my way back to my bloodline and culture.

As I mentioned, my father was born to a line of spiritual leaders, healers, and medicine people. His father was a medicine man who passed away when my father was young; his sister was a High Priestess of the Peyote Way. However, the residential schools demanded that my father serve another god than that of his people. He grew up and went to seminary school to become a missionary for the Christian god—he even assisted in translating the New Testament into Navajo. He became Reverend Jackson Yazzie.

I came into the world as a bit of a miracle; my mother was not in good health at the time of my birth. But I came into the world healthy, and she was fine. My parents and the church prophesied that I would be the next spiritual leader of the family—thinking that it would be under the Christian faith. However, as I grew into my own, I felt a calling to understand the Navajo way. At this point, I had little access to any family outside of my immediate family, which was devoted to the Christian faith.

It was not easy being bicultural in the 1970s. In the white schools I attended in Denver, Colorado, I was either the dumb little Indian girl or, to the other extreme, I was fetishized. When we were learning about other cultures in history, I would be asked to tell everyone about hogans, teepees, and frybread. This didn’t help me to feel included; it just emphasized my difference to everyone else. But which one am I—a white girl trying to explain what a Navajo girl experiences and feels, or a Navajo girl, explaining what it feels like to be in a white man’s world? I am both—and hence, it made me feel that I was neither. And neither one felt safe or authentic to me. After all, women were also not seen as equal, and it felt as if my biology—whether because I was Navajo, or because I was a girl—was sending signals to the world outside of me about who I was or who I was expected to be.

As a child, I was able to attend a private Christian school. My family received a discount for my tuition; I believe that I was given this privilege due to the fact that my father was a Christian pastor, and possibly also because he was Navajo. I understood that it was a gift, at that time, but I was also angry for reasons that I couldn’t understand or articulate. In hindsight, I believe I was angry about going to a school whose mission statement was aligned with a religion. It wasn’t that I thought that this particular religion was good or bad, but rather, I was angry about being indoctrinated to think that only this religion was the correct religion. I was taught that anyone outside of our religious faith would go to hell, and that I was a sinner who needed to be saved—closed-minded beliefs that I now see as judgmental and limited. It took me years to unpack this indoctrination.

From the Christian perspective, this education would be considered a gift—to teach the little Navajo girl how to be a good Christian woman, providing me with a better education than I would have received on the Navajo Reservation or at any public school. From my perspective as an adult, I see it as an indoctrination into the white man’s faith and culture, cloaked as a gift. But as a child, all I knew was that I didn’t fit in.

Now that I am older, I recognize that many people have felt this way in their lives: not only bicultural women like me, but anyone who is marked as “different.” The struggles that I have faced are not strictly my personal struggles; they are struggles within society. This was my story—yours might be different. Finding your authentic voice, despite whatever challenges you have faced, is why I am writing this book.

For secondary school, I was moved from a private school to a public school. This was a culture shock for me. In my private Christian school, there were only thirty students per grade level; now there were over three hundred. Additionally, in my previous school I had been sheltered from things like sex, drugs, and rock ’n’ roll; now I was surrounded by swear words, the smell of marijuana, and loud music. These kids seemed hard core to me.

I tried to fit in, but I didn’t find a sense of belonging here, either. I was only one of a few Native American students out of the two thousand that went to the school. One day, I was sitting in class when someone came in to interrupt the class and call me outside into the hallway. She looked concerned with my wellbeing and asked me, “How are you adjusting? Do you need someone to talk to?” I didn’t know what she meant—was it my low grades that she was concerned about? I then realized that she was a social worker in the school, and she was asking me this because I was Navajo.

If I wasn’t embarrassed before, I certainly was now. I’d thought I was blending in. I told her that I was fine, and I’d let her know if I needed any help, but all I could think was, “Go away, lady!” She finally left, and I returned to my class, feeling like all eyes were on me and knowing that I would be asked what that encounter had been about. I remember wishing that I had been called out of class for being a “sex, drugs, and rock ’n’ roll” deviant—as that would have been more easily understood.

At the same time, things were becoming difficult at home, too. When I was about twelve, my mother began to isolate me from my father. She told me that Navajo men do not raise the children; it was solely her job. And it didn’t stop there—I was told that anything that I would like to say to my dad must come through her, first. As I am sitting here writing this, now in my fifties, I am still not completely sure what was transpiring in the household at that time; was this a cultural thing, or was it my mother’s neurosis? Why would she try to come between me and my father? I trusted my mother—she was my first mentor—and took it to mean that being Navajo in a white man’s world wouldn’t serve me well, and that it would be easier on me to be raised by a white woman in a white man’s world.

I don’t think that my mother’s prejudiced views were her fault; it was the way of her world at that time. Her father had refused to attend his daughter's wedding simply because she was marrying outside of her Dutch culture. Yet she married my father anyway—so maybe she was a little forward-thinking. I didn’t know my Dutch grandfather very much, but I could tell that my mother loved him. Still, I saw him as a closed-minded individual, as he didn’t even give my dad a chance.

In my early adulthood, I entered the workforce. I was acutely aware, at that time, of how many companies were starting to intentionally hire more workers from underrepresented demographics. As a Native American woman—a person who has the odds stacked against her all her life—I played to the house, making sure to indicate my ethnicity and gender on my application. I understood the game and played it well, but I never knew if I had been hired because of who I actually was, or because I had helped them meet a quota.

Remember the saying I mentioned in chapter 4: “Bilagáana Bilasáana bił łikan,” or, “The white man likes apples—red on the outside, white on the inside.” In fact, a more exact translation from Navajo would be that the white man “eats up” apples; I was very successful in Corporate America, but was it just consuming me? I felt lost. I didn’t know who I was or what would make me feel comfortable in my own skin. I heard a voice inside me telling me to go back to my Navajo roots for answers.

I started by learning about Navajo history, and at some point, I came across the story of the “code talkers.” In World War II, Navajo men were recruited by the U.S. Marine Corps to create a code based in the Navajo language, so that no other country could decipher it. My father was not a code talker; however, he did join the service, and he came to know some of the original code talkers, as they were his elders. My father did well in boot camp—like many Navajo recruits, as they were raised under the heat of the desert, in extremely harsh conditions—and quickly rose within the ranks. My father had the spirit of a warrior, and I am honored to be his daughter, but I began to feel even greater pride when I started to learn the history of the code talkers. After years of being ashamed of being a red body, I was finally finding pride in my roots.

At the same time, I began to worry that my dad might not have had pride in me—after all, he always wanted me to do well in school, and I didn’t at all. I recall that the dining-room table in our house had always been covered with books about spirituality and devotional material, and my father was always reading and underlining passages as he studied them. So when I was thirty, I decided to go to college, and I graduated with two degrees in business management and administration. I hoped that I would now hear him say the words that most children who are seeking their parent’s approval hope to hear: “I am proud of you.” But he didn’t say these words to me.

Mostly because I am a curious learner who wants to know more about life, I then decided to get my master’s degree—an MBA. I graduated with honors and received a special stole and cord for my achievements. I purchased an extra one, so that I could present it to my father, and paid for his trip from New Mexico to Denver to attend my graduation ceremony. After the ceremony, I gave him the cord and stole, awaiting his words, “I am proud of you.” But he didn’t say these words to me.

Again, I am a go-getter, and so I went back to school to earn my doctorate. This time, I was inducted into Delta Mu Delta, an international honors society, for my scholastic achievement. This has to do the trick, I thought—maybe my dad will be proud of me, now. I went down to the reservation, hoping that I would finally have my father’s approval. Again, he didn’t say those five words that I was seeking from him. With a heavy heart, I returned to Denver, Colorado, not understanding why he wouldn’t say those words. It is painful to realize when you are chasing something that is never going to happen. But in that moment, I realized that I was proud of myself, and that is all that I needed to be. I decided to let it go.

The next time that I went to visit my father, I said, “Hey, Dad—I am proud to be your daughter. I am proud to be a Navajo. And I think that you are an amazing person.” It wasn’t something that I had spent time thinking about; I just told him, as it was my truth. This is one of the few times that I have ever seen my father’s eyes well up—I don’t think that he cried, but it was obvious that my words had touched him.

He said, “You are proud of me?” It’s funny how life teaches us. All this time, I had wanted him to be proud of me. But as it turned out, he had been worried that I would be embarrassed of him, because he was Navajo. I had once wanted him to be proud of me; now, I simply had to find that acknowledgment within myself. I had to recognize the situation beyond my own perspective.

My father passed away at the end of 2023, at the age of ninety-one; it was a life well-lived. When the news came to me of his passing, the first thing I felt was a sense of release and relief—he was no longer tied to a physical body that could no longer move in the way his spirit wanted to move. But I also felt an emptiness and a sense of loss; I hadn’t seen him in almost ten years, but something felt different within me. I thought, “Where is my dad?” Some people say that you get a vision or a dream to confirm that a person who has passed is at peace or has made it safely to the other side. As a medicine woman, I felt that I, of all people, should be able to receive this message. But the air was silent. I felt deep grief for three days. Then, one night as I was getting ready for bed, I looked into the mirror . . . and my dad was looking back at me. I saw him in my eyes. I saw him in my nose. I saw him in my cheekbones. I saw my dad in me.

Weeks later, he did show up in my dreams, but the point was that I saw how his DNA lives within me; his story has now become a part of my story. And this is one of the reasons that I was able to write this book. I love you, Dad! I am proud to be your daughter! And as you like to say, “This is my prayer for the people: to love themselves and who they authentically are.”

In order to understand myself—my roots, my bloodline, my spiritual lineage—I sat in silence and meditation. This is what medicine people or Shamans would call journeying or having a vision. I would place myself in a meditative state and focus on the Navajo Reservation, the place of my birth. In my meditations, I would meet a medicine man and we would converse, and he would teach me how to be an authentic medicine woman. This man was my grandfather on my father’s side—this is why I am called Granddaughter Crow. Interestingly enough, I did not know at first who this man was. I was simply having visions of a Navajo medicine man. It took me about a year for me to put the pieces of the puzzle together. My grandfather had passed before I was born, so all I knew of him was from stories I had heard of him—and now, my visions. This is my path; I understood that my visions of my grandfather were connecting me with my DNA in order to understand how to be a medicine woman.

But what does this story say about my internal voice, who I actually am, and how I see the world? I am sharing these stories with you to help you understand that if I can change my internal narrative, against all the odds, I know that you can, too. I believe in the human spirit. Maybe the world around you has told you who they want you to be—but now, it’s time for you to tell us who you are! Figuring out how to do this in your life is the process that I will take you through in part II of this book. Once you hear your truth, you are home.

Purposeful Life

Have you ever wondered what your purpose in life is? This is a huge question, and there are so many different directions we could take to try to get to a solid answer. However, the more that we discover about ourselves, the easier it is to answer this question (or even partially answer this question). Additionally, do we only have one purpose, or many? There needs to be room for growth and change throughout your life.

I have had many purposes throughout my life: there was a time when my purpose was learning and sharing; a time when my purpose was raising a family; a time when my purpose was igniting my career. But what is my overarching purpose? For me, it is to mentally and spiritually expand; my objective is to share what I have experienced and learned with others to help inspire, encourage, and empower them to be their authentic selves. I didn’t always know that this was my purpose, but when I finally understood it, my life became meaningful.

A purpose can be like a mission statement or a description of a task that you are here to perform. However, a purpose only becomes meaningful once you start to truly live it: You derive meaning from your actions when you align them with your soul’s purpose, bringing a sense of accomplishment. For example, at different stages in my life I felt different purposes (as a student, as a teacher, and so on), but I was mentally expanding the whole time. Knowing that this overarching purpose drives everything I do is how I derive a meaningful life from my actions.

When we understand our personal purpose and how to find meaning in our lives by carrying out that purpose, we create peace within ourselves. Life can be challenging and chaotic; amid this storm, we need to have the ability to retreat to a place of peace. By “peace,” I mean a sense of feeling settled, quiet, and calm. We can tap into this peace in many ways: through meditation, or taking a walk, or doing something creative. This is not to say that there won’t still be times of movement, upheaval, or disruption—but if we can find peace within ourselves, we will know that we have a place of harmony within ourselves that we can always return to during and after the storms in our lives.

When you have a strong sense of purpose and meaning in your life, you can also more easily release any regret you might have felt about not accomplishing everything that everyone else wants from you. Instead, you are doing what aligns with your authentic self. It is not your responsibility to convince or prove to others who you are; rather, simply be who you are and let the noise fall away from your ears. This is where part II of this book can assist you: to help you understand that you may be a hero in your own narrative, but others may write you into their story as a villain. You do not have to convince them that you are a hero; simply give them back the responsibility for their own story—their own internal narrative. Taking responsibility for your own internal narrative is empowering.

Understanding your personal purpose will allow you to have a purpose-filled life. Living that purpose will provide you with a meaningful life. Finding peace within yourself gives you strength amid any challenges that you may come across. This is what part II of the book is all about: using the wisdom of the four bodies to identify your purpose and find a more meaningful life, which will bring a sense of peace.

7
Identifying Your Role in Your Internal Narrative

An internal narrative is like a personal storyline that plays out within our conscious and subconscious mind. Within this narrative, we can identify certain roles that we play and that others play. For example, who is the protagonist in our narrative? Who are the antagonists? Is our narrative a story about someone coming in to save us? If so, who have we cast in this role? Or is someone out to get us? Who is in this role?

The way that we perceive our lives can be deeply rooted in our internal narrative. It can also reveal what outcome will most likely happen, based on the trajectory of the narrative: Will I overcome? Or will I be defeated? Understanding the stories playing out within our mind allows us to see the bigger picture of our lives, which can help improve our relationships, career, and even our health and wellbeing.

This is not to suggest that things simply happen to us, or that the life we are living takes a course of its own, without our direct involvement. However, how we perceive, understand, and approach our life will affect the outcome of any given situation. For example, if we approach a problem with the mindset that “this will go badly, because that is the way that my life always goes,” the outcome is likely to be a negative one. But if we release our expected or assumed outcomes and respond instead with curiosity—“what would happen if I did this differently?”—the outcome is more likely to be positive for us.

This can be difficult, as the “expected or assumed” is also the familiar and comfortable. That is why we would rather simply accept that negative or bad things are coming our way, because we can predict it is coming—it is expected and unambiguous. Ambiguity is a little frightening—not knowing what will happen might be more frightening than assuming the worst. When we think “I don’t know what’s going to happen,” that can feel scary. But if we stay curious, then this ambiguity can become more tolerable: “I wonder what will happen? I’ll wait and see.”

Additionally, at times you may be cast as a character within someone else’s story in a way that doesn’t make sense to you. Maybe they needed a hero or a villain within their own internal narrative, and they chose you to play that role without even consciously knowing why. It is important to understand this so that we don’t get caught up in other people’s narratives in ways that do not align with our authentic self. Don’t live the life that they expect you to live; live the life that belongs to you.

When seeking to understand our own or others’ internal narratives, we must understand that there is not only one storyline occurring. There might be small stories that play out in specific situations or different roles we play in different aspects of our life. For example, your internal narrative might tell a story of being highly accomplished at work, but it also includes a story that everyone you love will leave, so you can’t get to close to anyone. With these two storylines playing out within your internal narrative, you most likely will excel at work and not with love. Even if you are in fact very lovable, you will write people in or out of your story in ways that confirm your existing narrative.

Here is another example of how our internal narrative can affect us. I once knew a woman whose narrative went like this: “I am successful because I make most of the income for my household. I am empowered because I am healthy. I am loved and respected because I am a mom.” This narrative motivated her every day for decades—but then, within one year, she was laid off from work, she was diagnosed with a degenerating disease, and her children left home to go to college. Her sense of self was nearly destroyed, and she fell into a great depression. As long as her old narrative was still active—that her worth was tied to her career, her good health, and her role as a caregiver—it was difficult for her to get out of bed in the morning. She felt like a failure: disempowered, defeated, and unloved. To overcome this, she needed to examine her internal narrative and change it. In her new narrative, she is successful because of all that she has accomplished and still can accomplish, even if “accomplishment” looks different than it once did. She is empowered because she is adaptable. She is loved and respected because she is authentic and worthy of love and respect.

In the rest of this chapter, we’ll look at two different models to assist you in understanding what roles you might currently be playing in your internal narrative. The first examines twelve major archetypes; the second outlines the twelve signs of the Western zodiac. As you read about these different archetypes and signs, think about what you relate to and don’t relate to. Don’t immediately put yourself in a box that might not fully fit—just see what characteristics you align with, and we will go from there.

Twelve Major Archetypes

An archetype is a type, category, or set of characteristics that can be seen across humanity; each archetype has a different objective and worldview. In their book, The Hero and the Outlaw, Margaret Mark and Carol Pearson outline a variety of archetypes. While they use these archetypes to explain branding techniques, not personal development, their book provides a good foundation for understanding how different archetypes appear within the world.[14] In this section, I will provide a brief description of twelve different archetypes that can assist us in discovering what role we play within our internal narrative. Additionally, understanding how different archetypes are at work in our lives helps us see how we approach problems, interact with others, and define ourselves. There isn’t only one archetype that defines our lives—I believe that we can bounce from one to another at different times.[15]

It is important to distinguish between an archetype and a personality type. An archetype is a kind of universal character type that holds symbolic meaning or plays a certain role in the world. A personality type is an expression of characteristics that can be held by an individual or a group of people. For example, the “Outlaw” archetype plays a certain role within many different stories and legends; this is different from simply having a rebellious personality. Without getting too far into the weeds, I will provide the twelve major archetypes and their main characteristics.

The twelve archetypes we will discuss are the Innocent, the Sage, the Explorer, the Outlaw, the Magician, the Hero, the Lover, the Jester, the Everyman, the Caregiver, the Ruler, and the Creator/Artist. In this section, we will examine the basic characteristics of each of these twelve archetypes and their different objectives in life. As you review them, note the ones that you personally identify with. Some of these archetypes have similar attributes: For example, the Innocent, Sage, and Explorer all have an overarching goal of examining the existential aspects of life; however they each approach this goal in different ways. Hence, if you find that there are several archetypes that you would identify with, considering the overall objective or goal of each one might bring more clarity.

1. The Innocent: The greatest strength of this archetype is their ability to trust. They are pure and almost childlike in their worldview. This makes their demeanor playful, happy, and free from the responsibility of any wrongdoing. They are open and honest in every aspect of their life, as they tend to trust that everything will always work itself out. Their overarching objective is to examine the existential, spiritual, or esoteric aspects of life from a safe position.

2. The Sage: The main characteristic of this archetype is to constantly seek truth and wisdom, as well as to bring it into the world to benefit everyone. Sages tend to want to continue to learn and share: These are our professors and mentors. Just like the Innocent, the Sage has an overarching objective of examining the existential aspects of life—but the Sage additionally wants to share this knowledge.

3. The Explorer: This archetype is always in search of a new adventure; they can feel restless without one. They are independent, ambitious, and courageous. Like the Innocent and the Sage, the Explorer’s overarching objective is also to gain existential knowledge and spiritual wisdom, but Explorers find this wisdom through their adventures, seeking self-discovery and self-sufficiency.

4. The Outlaw: Outlaws might also be called rebels, revolutionaries, or even misfits. Their main characteristic is questioning the status quo—thinking outside the box—in order to bring change and make a better world. Their objective is to be a part of a legacy of positive change—the legacy of liberation.

5. The Magician: The Magician has the ability to work with the elements to heal and create change, healing. They also are the bearers of knowledge of both ancient and new ways of being in the world. The Magician is wise, understanding, and transformative; they are bearers of both ancient and new knowledge. Their objective is to bring this knowledge to the world to create needed transformation. Like the Sage, the Magician will seek knowledge; the difference is that a Sage will share knowledge with others, while a Magician will take this knowledge and use it to create or transform something—their goal involves the application of knowledge. Just like the Outlaw, the Magician is also here to leave a legacy; however, their legacy is to show others the power of the human soul.

6. The Hero: The main characteristic of the Hero archetype is the ability to overcome obstacles to achieve specific goals—to slay the proverbial dragon and save the day. Like the Outlaw and Magician, their objective is to leave a legacy; in this case, to do something extraordinary and miraculous that leaves the world changed. (We will discuss other conceptions of the Hero archetype and the “Hero’s Journey” in chapter 10.)

7. The Lover: The main characteristic of the Lover is to connect with others. This includes the people that they have romantic relationships with, but it also includes family, friends, and colleagues. The Lover enjoys being close to and collaborating with others. The overarching objective for the lover is to establish connection and find equilibrium within social settings for the sake of intimacy, bringing love to others.

8. The Jester: The Jester is a clown or comedian—fun and silly. The Jester is very aware of how people approach each other, approach situations, and approach life; they are very observant and extremely intelligent. They use humor to reveal hypocrisy and level the playing field. Just like the Lover, the Jester is here to establish connections and bring equilibrium to social dynamics, but their primary objective is pleasure.

9. The Everyman: The main characteristic of this archetype is to be a part of a family or a group without standing out. The Everyman tends to have simple desires; they do not need too much, just their fair share. At times, the Everyman can seem like the quiet one of the group, but they are equally as important. Like the Lover and the Jester, their overarching goal is to establish connections and bring equilibrium to social dynamics, but their main objective is to belong and be accepted.

10. The Caregiver: This archetype is nurturing, generous, and self-sacrificing. Caregivers tend to make themselves available to anyone that may need their care; they may even become their own second priority, placing other people’s needs before their own. Their overall goal is to provide structure in life through service.

11. The Ruler: The main characteristic of this archetype is that they have a very strong personality and tendency toward taking control. They see themselves as role models for others to emulate; they have a strong sense of morals and make decisions based on these morals. By taking control of the group, they aim to ward off chaos and provide prosperity, safety, and security for themselves and others. Just like the Caregiver, their overall goal is to provide structure, but they attempt to do this through control.

12. The Creator/Artist: The main characteristics of this archetype are originality, self-expression, and creation. They are always full of new ideas and have a sense of wonder at the world around them. Like the Caregiver and the Ruler, the Creator/Artist’s overall goal is to provide structure, but they are driven to do so through innovation.

Twelve Zodiac Signs

Now let’s review the twelve signs of the zodiac from Western astrology. For our purposes, we will just be looking at your sun sign. A sun sign is more commonly known as a birth sign; it is what most people will be familiar with when you think of your zodiac sign. The sun sign is determined by the date of your birth. For example, if you were born on January 1st, you would be a Capricorn; likewise, if you were born on July 1st, you would be a Cancer. Astrologers would more specifically say that “your sun is in Capricorn” or “your sun is in Cancer.” You might find that you don’t directly relate to the sun sign that you were born under, but that doesn't mean that you need to conform to what it says. There are other aspects of astrology that dig a little deeper into your individual personality and make use of a much more complex natal chart.

When looking at the twelve astrological signs identified below, you will see that each of them fall into one of four elemental categories—Earth, Air, Fire, and Water—which I mentioned in chapter 1. Additionally, each sign is marked as being either “cardinal,” “fixed,” or “mutable.” In short, these refer to certain overarching qualities or tendencies that are shared among several signs—just as there were certain overarching goals that were shared among the twelve archetypes in the previous section. For example, cardinal signs will easily initiate projects, while fixed signs are better at sustaining them, and mutable signs are able to expand or mutate the project into something else. Note that this is only a very basic definition; if you want to learn more about the details of astrology, there are many wonderful books on astrology to help you. I would recommend The Only Astrology Book You Will Ever Need by Joanna Martine Woolfolk, which is the book I have used the most.[16] Let’s look up to the cosmos to explore our internal narrative.

Aries (cardinal fire): Aries, the ram, is very independent. Aries is quick to initiate action and will face challenges head on. At times, they may act prior to thinking; however, just as quickly as they spring into action, they can stop again. I think of them as being like a sports car: Before you know it, they are going a hundred miles an hour.

Taurus (fixed earth): Taurus is known for their stability: They can be stubborn as a bull. Taurus energy knows what it wants and will take the time to make it happen. This energy also loves beautiful things and will work hard to surround themselves with beauty. Taurus is very grounded and steady in the way they move within the world.

Gemini (mutable air): Gemini—the sign of the twins—is often perceived as having two personalities; however, I see Gemini energy as simply wanting to look at both sides of the coin. Gemini learns for the sake of learning, and they love to expand their minds; they are curious about so many things, and they live a lot in their thoughts.

Cancer (cardinal water): Cancer is known as the nurturer or the caregiver. They tend to be very emotionally sensitive, picking up on subtle cues from others who may need their nurturing touch, and inspire emotions within others. They sometimes tend to others in ways that other signs might not understand, but they are simply trying to make a comfortable home and family.

Leo (fixed fire): Leo—the lion—is known for their creativity and ability to perform. Leo is not afraid of the stage or the spotlight, although they are happy to share it with others. Leo energy is jovial and entertaining—they love to make others smile and laugh. They take care of themselves and their appearance. If they put their mind to accomplishing a task, they will take action to get it done.

Virgo (mutable earth): Virgo is known for their practicality and close attention to details. This energy focuses on health, wellbeing, and day-to-day activities, and they love fixing things. But don’t let their angelic demeanor fool you—Virgo can equally be both sinner and saint. They are widely seen in careers within the healthcare industry, or any career that needs attention to detail. If they can expand a project or business, they will seek to do so.

Libra (cardinal air): Libra energy is about balance, beauty, aesthetics, and harmony. It can be hard for Libra to make decisions since it always looks at both sides of the scales—weighing both options. Libra loves connection with others as much as Aries loves independence; they frequently initiate conversations with anyone and everyone, and they make good diplomats.

Scorpio (fixed water): Scorpio is known for their determination, passion, and ability to keep a secret. The phrase “still waters run deep” applies to Scorpios: At times they may be quiet, but there is a rich emotional life within. They are not afraid to look under the rock to see what is growing there, and they know there are shadows within the world. Scorpio is not flippant with their emotions; they know how they feel. Don’t anger them—the stinger will come out.

Sagittarius (mutable fire): Sagittarius is the sign of the archer, frequently represented by a centaur (half man, half horse). This is the energy of the free spirit, with a happy-go-lucky demeanor. Sagittarius seeks adventure for the sake of adventure. Optimistic and extroverted, they are known to bring the party to another level—they go the distance.

Capricorn (cardinal earth): Capricorn energy is mostly focused on career and responsibility. Capricorns are grounded, yet always second-guessing themselves. They love to initiate projects, although they may need help or encouragement to finish them; however, they always ensure that they are taking care of their responsibilities. They tend to be very good in business and would make great entrepreneurs. If a task takes responsibility, give it to a Capricorn.

Aquarius (fixed air): Known as the water bearers, the water that Aquarius carries is not related to emotions (like the water signs) but rather a higher consciousness. They tend to be progressive in thought and are humanitarians. Aquarius energy is very friendly, and they have a tendency to make friends that are from all walks of life. They are highly intelligent, to the point that they can live in their thoughts more than their emotions.

Pisces (mutable water): Pisces energy is creative, imaginative, and visionary. They are sensitive, compassionate, and sentimental, with emotions that are grand and ever-evolving, yet they seek to make the world a better place. If Scorpio energy can be summed up in the expression “still waters run deep,” then Pisces is the ocean.

Journal Prompts

In this chapter, we explored different aspects of the self through archetypes and Western astrological signs, but you also might also be familiar with other tools for self-exploration such as the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator or numerology. If you prefer one of these systems, please use it instead when following these journal prompts. The objective here is to discover your personal internal narrative through a framework that makes sense to you, not specifically the ones that I suggest in this book.

For the first journal entry, rank the twelve archetypes in the order that you identify with them, at this point in your journey. The most important are the top three that you identify with and the bottom three that you don’t identify with. It might be helpful to first identify the ones that are least like you, to shorten the list, but do whatever works for you. Understanding your top three archetypes will help you see what motivates you and drives you to action, as well as the way that you approach others. Write in your journal how you express these top three archetypes in different areas of your life.

For example, this is how I would currently rank the archetypes for myself:

Top three, in order:

1. Sage—This archetype shows up in my career as a writer and teacher, and in the way that I work with clients.

2. Explorer—I am curious and always seeking deeper understanding; this shows up in several aspects of my life, including my hobbies and career.

3. Caregiver—I love to nurture those that are close to me through both small and large gestures of affection. This archetype comes out in my personal life as well as in my career, as I am highly empathetic with my clients.

Bottom three, in order:

10. Lover
11. Innocent
12. Everyman

If you look at my top three and compare them to my bottom three, you might be able to see why the Innocent and Everyman are at the bottom of the list: Identifying as a Sage is incompatible with the desire of the Everyman to blend in with the group, and I love to explore, so that erases any notion of being Innocent, in my mind. And while I do like to take care of others, feeling vulnerable is more difficult for me, which is why I identify with the Caregiver but not the Lover. Again, I am not a psychologist; I am simply stating what has become obvious to me through my own self-exploration.

Remember, it is important to give yourself permission to continuously adjust, heal, or reinvent parts of yourself. By the time you read this book, it is possible that I will have a different take on my answers to this exercise. Your own answers, and your understanding of those answers, will likely change over time, too. Self-exploration requires us to be open to our ever-unfolding, ever-changing nature, as we continue to learn and develop.

The next journal exercise uses the twelve signs of the Western zodiac. This will be a little different than simply listing the types that you identify with. You may already know what sun sign you were born under; if not, it is pretty easy to look it up by just using your birth date. If astrology intrigues you, you can find an astrologer to run and interpret your full birth chart, but for our purposes here we can use just a few aspects of it.

There are many astrology websites you can use to discover your top three personal astrological influences: your sun sign, moon sign, and rising sign. One website that I refer to for this information is Cafe Astrology: https://astro.cafeastrology.com. (However, you might find a different one that works better for you.) For this, you will need to know the time and location of your birth. Your sun sign reveals how you think and approach the world; your moon sign reveals how you feel or emotionally relate to the world; and your rising sign reveals your persona, or how others perceive you. (You cannot find your rising sign if you do not have your exact time of birth, as this sign changes every two hours.) Once you figure them out, write down in your journal how you identify or don’t identify with each of these signs. It is OK if you don’t relate to them; this is just another tool for learning to understand yourself better.

8
Where Does Our Internal Narrative Come From?

The external world nudges us into certain roles within life; at times, it happens so quickly that we simply fall into a role without realizing it. At different stages of life, our internal narrative may also change due to our external circumstances. So what are these circumstances and forces that shape our internal narrative? Part of it comes from our childhood and our placement within the family unit. Part of it comes from our community and the roles we are expected to play within it. Part of it comes from our socioeconomic status, as well as the external biases and prejudices others might have about us based on our culture and the color of our skin. Sometimes, part of it comes from our family’s religious beliefs.

Your internal narrative may be a story that was told to you about how you should fit into family, community, and society—a story not necessarily based on who you truly are, but on who others needed you to be. Some of this narrative may have been subconsciously written, rooted in a forgotten event. Let’s take the time to examine it and bring it into our conscious mind.

Different Stages of Formation

Let’s start at the beginning, when you were in your most formative years of development. What we believed about ourselves when we were children has a large impact on how we behave as adults. First, your internal narrative may have been shaped by your place in your family structure. If you are an only child, for example, your childhood experience will have been different than someone who had siblings. Children without siblings might be able to entertain themselves and feel more comfortable being alone than a child with siblings, although they also might be lonely. When you have siblings, your experience can differ based on your birth order. Oldest children might be more independent, or they might have a sense of responsibility for the caretaking of their younger siblings. They might even feel a sense of injustice or feel that they have to grow up too fast, as they now have to take on the responsibility for others. In contrast, the youngest child is typically seen as one who can get away with more. Parents might pay a lot more attention to raising their first child, as it is their first time doing so; by the time they have their last child, they might be more lenient and relaxed, now that they’ve had more experience. Middle children can, at times, be overlooked; they might also grow up as a mediator between the oldest and the youngest children. Hence, when we explore our internal narrative, we should consider how our birth order impacted our development.

During our formative years—the years that we are first experiencing the world around us—we might not have the language or lived experience to express how we feel that we fit into our family or the world. However, our favorite childhood stories can sometimes express this for us. Think about your favorite story when you were a child: What character within this story did you relate to the most? This can be very telling of the role that you felt you played within your family, and it can begin to open the initial understanding of your internal narrative.

My favorite childhood story was “Goldilocks and the Three Bears.” Let me tell it to you as I remember it. A curious young girl came upon a cottage in the forest. Approaching the cottage, she found that no one was home; however, she felt the comfort of family life there, and went inside. Inside she found three bowls of porridge, three different-sized chairs, and three different beds. Due to her curious nature, she tried the three bowls of porridge: one was too hot, one was too cold, and one was just right. She tried the three different chairs and the three different beds, similarly finding that one was too hard, one was too soft, and one was just right. She quickly fell asleep in the bed that was just right—only to wake up to the three bears, who lived there, hovering over her. She was frightened and ran away. As a child, this was the part of the story that resonated with me. I felt as if Goldilocks wanted to belong to this comfortable family, but didn’t; she was the outcast.

Why did I identify with this story when I was young? Why did I interpret it as being about “not belonging”? As I reflect on this as an adult, I can see how I felt like I, too, did not belong. What’s more, there are definitely aspects of me that still believe that I don’t belong. So . . . now what? Do I accept this notion and continue to relive this role? If I am not conscious of the way that this story informs my role in my internal narrative, then I will. If I understand that this was part of my childhood narrative, and might not apply anymore, then maybe I can change the story—maybe I do belong. I must continue to venture into the woods and find my tribe.

The childhood stories that we identify with have a lot to tell us about how we relate to our “normalized” internal narrative. Were you the princess that needed to be rescued? Were you the hero that saved the day? Were you the misunderstood character? Were you the villain? The rebel? This is an important aspect of understanding your childhood experiences; however, keep in mind that it only adds to your current internal narrative—it is not the entire story.

Let’s now turn to the teenage years, as you start to navigate social environments in a different way. As a teenager, you become more self-aware and self-conscious of your place within a community: Who am I, among my peers? This developmental period can also have an important impact on your internal narrative. Review the twelve major archetypes again, thinking about them from the position of your teenaged self. Which archetype speaks to you with the loudest voice, when you think about your teenage years? Were you the Innocent or the Outlaw? This will reveal to us what parts of your initial story were reinforced as you started to become an individual.

Now, think about the first job that you had as an adult: Did you enter the workforce, or was your primary work in your household (for example, a stay-at-home mom or dad)? This is another pivotal point within our lives that shapes the development of our internal narrative. Who am I as an adult? What role do I offer to society? Am I simply falling into a role because it’s necessary for survival?

The transition from our twenties to our thirties can also be a transformative period of time, as we begin to truly understand who we are as adults. In our twenties, we are still figuring out what others are expecting of us and who we want to be as an adult. Around the age of thirty, we have a shift in our internal narrative that astrologers would call our Saturn Return. Astrologically speaking, Saturn’s rotation throughout the twelve signs of the zodiac takes approximately twenty-eight to thirty years. While the sun rotates through all twelve signs within a year, Saturn’s rotation is extended due to its much farther distance from the Earth. Hence, if the planet Saturn was in a certain zodiac sign when you were born, it will not return to this same sign until you are about twenty-eight to twenty-nine years of age. Saturn then stays in each sign for about two to three years. Most people will experience an additional Saturn Return when they are about fifty-six to sixty—and possibly again when you’re in your eighties!

I call Saturn’s influence “Old Father Time”—it signals that it is time to take stock of our life. Am I the person that I want to be? Am I in the relationship that I want to be in? Do I want to have children, if I haven’t already? Do I like my job and where I see it taking me in the future? Do I want to go to school for higher education? No matter who you are, if you think about what was happening to you around the age of thirty, you will probably see that there were some significant changes occurring. If you are not yet thirty years old, you might consider going to visit an astrologer to better understand what influences the planet Saturn has in your life and how to prepare for this upcoming shift.

There are also unexpected events or changes that can impact an individual's internal narrative. How we respond to a challenge gives us another opportunity to shift how we see ourselves: Did we succeed or fail? However, sometimes we do not perceive that we rose to the challenge even if we did—it depends on our existing perception of self. Difficult times can strongly shape who we are and how we perceive ourselves. The wisdom that I have did not come from formal schooling; it came from the unexpected challenges, defeats, and the dark nights of the soul that I have experienced in my life.

All these stages of formation have to do with our role in relation to other people—and we might not always feel like the main character. In childhood, we are given a role within a family unit; when we are teenagers, we are cast into a role within a social group of our peers; when we are a young adult, we take on new roles in the workplace or within a family that we are creating. Moreover, these roles will shift as we get older, particularly as we move from our twenties into our thirties, as well as when unexpected change or challenge comes into our lives. It can all happen so fast that we never stop to think about whether or not these roles actually fit who we are and who we want to be. We may not even know that we need the time to self-reflect. The demands of life can sweep us off our feet, and we just learn how to “go with the flow,” without taking a moment to understand if the roles we are playing align with our authentic self.

Other Factors

Our internal narrative is also impacted by external factors like socioeconomic status, gender, race, and more. For example, the amount of education that is available to you will impact what occupations you might be able to have. This, in turn, affects the amount of income you can make, what type of healthcare is available to you, and how much leisure time you have for vacations, artistic endeavors, and even community. Your socioeconomic status also impacts your internal narrative because it shapes how you are perceived by those around you. All of this is related to what we call social class.

Additionally, gender impacts our internal narrative: Within a given social class, your gender may be seen as “less than” or “superior” to others. In a patriarchal social system, for example, greater power, social status, and opportunities are given to men simply because they are men. (In contrast, women would hold power in a matriarchal social system.) Differences in gender identity, including gender fluidity and non-binary gender identification, can also have a large impact on our internal narrative. There are more wonderous levels of self than the boxes constructed by our society can hold. Hence, the degree to which our internal narrative is shaped by our gender can change depending on how much acceptance we find in our community.

Another factor that impacts a person’s internal narrative is the biases and prejudices that others may have toward them based on the color of their skin, their ethnicity, or where they were born. Moreover, our cultural background and ancestral roots—as we identify with them and as they are perceived by others—can impact how we see ourselves in the world. Some people have the opportunity to delve into and express their cultural background, while others do not have the opportunity to express their cultural background for several reasons. Maybe the history of their lineage was erased, or maybe they were adopted by parents from a different culture, and the historical records of their birth were sealed. There are so many reasons for this to happen. My heart goes out to those who wish to delve into their biological heritage but have been blocked from accessing their ancestral records.

As I mentioned earlier in this book, I was blocked from my own Navajo culture for much of my life. When I was young, the white-bodied side of my family would label me as “the little Indian girl,” while the red-bodied side of my family would label me as “the little white girl.” I was a half-breed, half-blood, and I felt that I didn’t have a place within either side of my biological family. Half a century later, when people ask me what it is like to be Navajo, it is hard to respond to this question. I cannot speak for anyone else; I am still coming to terms with my personal internal narrative, and there are still so many questions within my mind. Maybe, like me, you are curious and seeking more information about your own cultural background; however, we need to understand our internal voice and our internal narrative in order to show up in the world as our authentic self. For now, I know that I am me, and I acknowledge and accept myself.

Family belief systems can also have a huge impact on our internal narrative as well as our views on what the world is about. This can include religious as well as cultural affiliations: religious affiliations shape our views on how to be a good individual in the eyes of god, while cultural affiliations shape our values and traditions. While parents may not realize it, children will listen to and repeat the views of those who are raising them.

In addition to social class, gender, cultural background, and family beliefs, generational differences can also have an impact on our internal narrative. Many people will identify with one of the following generations:

1. The Silent Generation (born 1925–1945)
2. Baby Boomers (born 1946–1964)
3. Generation X (born 1965–1979)
4. Millennials (born 1980–1994)
5. Generation Z (born 1995–2012)
6. Generation Alpha (born 2013–2025)

My father was from the Silent Generation; my husband is a Baby Boomer; I am from Generation X; my child is a Millennial; and my grandkids are Generation Alphas. Within my lifetime, I already know someone from at least five different generations—and I will know more, as time goes on. Each of us approaches life differently because each generation was born into a different world.

Think about it. The Silent Generation came into a world that discouraged their voice; they were taught to put their heads down and get to work. The Baby Boomers were born after World War II, when the economy began to recover in the United States, during a time of relative peace and prosperity. Generation X grew up in families where both parents were working outside of the house—or where they were being raised by only one parent, as divorce rates were going up. Hence, they didn’t have as much adult supervision and became very independent and self-sufficient at an early age. Millennials grew up with new kinds of technology that helped shape their worldview, while Generation Z never knew a world without the internet, GPS, and social media. These generations grew up with a massive amount of information at their fingertips, and they live in a world of diversity and individuality—a world that the Silent Generation could never dream of. Finally, the children of Generation Alpha experienced a world pandemic that caused many of them to be schooled at home and over the internet, and they had to learn “social distancing” at a very young age—an experience that will surely impact them as they grow into adulthood.

There are so many different factors that can impact our internal narratives—it’s no wonder that they are so complex! In this next section, we will work through a series of journal prompts to help use what we’ve learned in this chapter to discover what our personal narrative is and where it came from.

Journal Prompts

Reflect back on the information shared in this chapter. These journal prompts will help you dig a little deeper into your internal narrative.

1. What was your experience like within your household, growing up? Were you an oldest, youngest, middle, or only child? Were you raised by someone other than your biological parent? As you think about this, I encourage you to reflect on your place within the household—the place you felt you had, or the place you were given by others. When you are finished writing about this in your journal, extract a line or two that speaks to the deeper narrative, such as, “I was the youngest, but I was the most responsible of my siblings.

2. What was your favorite childhood story? If you have a few, feel free to write in your journal about each of them. What characters did you relate to the most? How did the other characters impact you? You might find an interesting theme that emerges. When you are finished, extract a line or two that speaks to the deeper narrative, such as “Goldilocks felt like she didn’t belong, which is how I felt, too.”

3. Which one of the twelve archetypes did you identify most with when you were a teenager? (See pages 95–98 if you need to refresh your memory.) You might want to list the top three to provide you with greater insight. Journal about how this archetype was visible in your teenage experience. For example: I identify with the Jester, as I was known to be the class clown. I enjoyed entertaining others, but I realize now that I also used humor as a coping mechanism, because I was a sensitive teenager. Write about your personal experiences related to your archetype(s). When you are finished, extract a line or two that speaks to your deeper internal narrative.

At this point, I recommend that you take a fresh page and write down only the extracted lines from each of these journal prompts. What are you noticing within your pre-adult narrative? There should be enough clues here to assist you in discovering where your internal narrative came from; this will help you better understand how you have handled this narrative as an adult.

Next, journal about your first roles as a young adult—around eighteen to twenty-one years of age. If you had a job, journal about how you found this job, what position and responsibilities you held, and how you felt about this role within your life. If you went to school, what was your major or your focus of studies? Did you change your focus? If so, why? What about this subject or subjects interested you? Again, reflect and extract key phrases around your experience.

If you are over thirty, I encourage you to write about the changes that your life took when you were between the ages of twenty-eight to thirty-two. Journal about the specifics of these changes, and how they did or didn’t challenge you. If you are younger than this age group, I would encourage you to find out more about your “Saturn Return” (discussed earlier in this chapter) and reflect on what changes might lie ahead. When you have finished journaling, extract the key phrases from your experience, especially those pointing to changes in your role(s).

This journal prompt might be difficult, so please feel free to skip it if you wish. Journal about any unexpected events that happened in your life that potentially shaped you, your perception or worldview, and how you perceive yourself. These events can be either catastrophic or fortunate in nature. The objective here is to gain insight into any additional lived experiences that affected your internal narrative.

In this chapter, we explored how cultural affiliation, gender, generational identification, religious affiliation, and socioeconomic status can all impact our internal narrative. If one or more of these categories stood out to you and potentially had a strong hand in shaping parts of your internal narrative, journal about your experiences and how you identify (or don’t identify) with the category.

The aim of this chapter was to lead you to a deeper understanding of self. Look at any patterns or themes that might have emerged in your journaling; these can help you identify more parts of your personal internal narrative. For example, there might be a whole story around how you struggled and rose above your circumstances, or how you overcame challenges in certain ways. Or you might find a theme of feeling extremely fortunate and wanting to help others. The possibilities are endless. My hope is that this information will help you better understand how your life has shaped you. In the next chapter, we will test our personal internal narrative to see if it is working for you or working against you in your search for a life of purpose, meaning, and peace.

9
Examine Your Internal Narrative

If you have made it this far, congratulations. I want you to take a deep breath and recognize the amount of inner reflection that you have already done. Even if you didn’t do any of the journal prompts, I hope that the previous chapters have brought up memories and sparked new ideas. Keep in mind that if you read this book again in a year or so, different thoughts and memories will come up; it is like an onion, with layers upon layers. This statement isn’t meant to discourage you but to remind you that it’s possible to see things in one way today and another way tomorrow. Our internal narrative is ever-evolving, if we choose to continue to grow.

Now that you have identified your personal internal narrative, you might find that it is different from other people’s perceptions of who you are and why you are the way you are. If this is the case for you, this is fine. In this process, you do not have to listen to the external voices telling you who they understand you to be or who they need you to be. This process is aimed at strengthening your own voice through the four bodies of experience, to help you to discover the internal narrative that is already running silently in the background of your consciousness.

If you are feeling a sense of shock or astonishment around what you’ve discovered about yourself in the last two chapters, this is also natural. We truly dug deeper into ourselves, and it’s possible that difficult stories came up that you had buried. I trust the organic nature of this process, in which only that which you are ready to discover will rise to the surface of your consciousness—it is OK if some of it is still hidden. I believe that the consciousness within each of us is able to regulate how much we can process. So, if this is your experience, take a deep breath and find a reward you can give yourself for doing this deep work.

Maybe you are not feeling shocked or astonished—if so, good for you. Maybe, instead, you are feeling a deep sense of self-knowledge and self-understanding. I do hope that you are. At times, this process can provide a person with a sense of relief, because now they understand how their lived experience shaped them, and a sense of self-discovery as they learn a little more about their pure nature.

Whatever you are experiencing at this point is a part of the process. Of course, if something came up that you need to work through with additional support, please contact a trusted source, or a credible individual to walk with you through this process. Also, feel free to journal any thoughts that you are having; this can be a powerful tool for processing your feelings.

When you are ready, let’s move forward with this process of examining your internal narrative. In this chapter, we are going to share our internal narrative with each of our four bodies of experience, letting them help us see what parts of our story we want to build upon or change. By the end of this process, you will have gained the personal empowerment you need in order to be the author of your internal narrative and purposely live your best life.

Identifying the Overarching Themes of Your Internal Narrative

To begin this process, I would encourage you to take a fresh piece of paper and jot down a few sentences that summarize your internal narrative. Extract the overarching themes of what you journaled about in the last chapter and write them down. This will help you to begin to solidify and clarify what your existing narrative is, so you can then identify what might need to change. Here are the journal prompts:

1. I was raised in these circumstances: __________. This led me to believe as a child that I was __________.

2. As an adult, I felt __________ because I believed myself to be __________. This led me to do __________.

3. All of this led me to believe that I need to be __________ in this world, in order to fit in, be accepted, or be loved.

4. I now believe that I need to be __________, in order to experience __________.

Here is a breakdown of this process to assist you, using examples from my own life. Note that you do not have to follow the wording of the prompts exactly!

1. Journal Prompt: I was raised in these circumstances: __________. This led me to believe as a child that I was __________.

Example: I was born into Generation X, the generation that is widely known as the “latchkey kids.” My generation was largely left alone, and many of my peers experienced a sense of forced independence and the feeling of being an Outlaw. But I experienced the opposite. I was raised in a household of devout Christians. My parents met in seminary school—they both graduated as reverends of the Christian faith. So, unlike my peers, I was watched like a hawk. I felt that everything about me was under the microscope. However, I certainly felt like I was left alone emotionally. This led me to believe as a child that I needed to adhere to strict dogma, to obey without question. But as a Gen-Xer, I also believed in opposing ideas like liberty, individuality, and non-conformity.

I was also the youngest of three children. It was drilled into me that I was a “miracle child,” as my mother had lost five other pregnancies prior to my birth. Hence, I developed an understanding that I was special, and that in order to give gratitude to whatever created me to be, I should live a life of service. That played a strong role in shaping my belief system and became one of my core internal narratives.

1. Journal Prompt: As an adult, I felt __________ because I believed myself to be __________. This led me to do __________.

Example: As an adult, I felt lost and rejected, because I believed myself to be an exile. When I was seventeen, my biological family kicked me out of both the family and the church. I am sure that I could write a whole book about this. In short, I was not behaving in the way that they expected me to behave. When I was young, I was called the “golden child,” the one who was able to see and understand many things—in my family, I was seen as the chosen one who would carry the torch of their faith into the next generation. Instead, when I became a teenager, I began to point out things that didn’t seem to fit with the belief system they were teaching me.

I began to notice problems in my parents’ marriage. I noticed that my mother desired more than what my father could offer, and that my father—while he was doing the best that he could—did not relate to my mother. Maybe it was cultural differences, or maybe it was something else that I am unable to see. I began to question if my mother and father were being faithful to each other. Mind you, this was a religious marriage, and divorce was not a part of their belief system. When I was a teenager, I began to point out that they were seeking fulfilment outside of their divine relationship. Whatever was happening was outside of my understanding, and asking questions about it was not acceptable. If you want to know what will get you exiled from a faith—questioning their communion did the trick! I took these feelings of confusion and the experience of being silenced into my adult years.

As an adult, this led me to do whatever I needed to do to support and stabilize my own family unit. I took whatever job I could get in order to be able to support a stable life for myself and the family I wanted. At this point, I was completely on my own, and I took on the idea that I was the only person who could create a life for myself. I wanted not only to survive, but to create a home for myself, one in which I would be able to eventually love and care for a family. I understood myself to be one who is dedicated to creating a family unit for myself—my ability to love and care for others. At the age of twenty-six, I was able to get a job within Corporate America, which laid the way to being able to purchase a home—a home that I still live in today. Due to my internal narrative and my personal understanding of self, I finally created a stable home.

Additionally, as an adult, I felt like not just a survivor but a hero, because I believed I had overcome blocks that had been placed in my way because of my gender and socioeconomic status. Hence, I would sometimes stay in a situation merely for the sake of overcoming it—which led me to stay in jobs that were not good for me longer than necessary. When I took that Corporate America job, it was 1996, and there was a lot of gender discrimination in my workplace—it took determination to stay in a job where I felt like I was treated as “less than.” I also came from a family that never owned their own home, so it was a huge leap in socioeconomic status for me to be able to buy my house. My feelings of being a hero led me to feel like I always had to become my own hero, which meant that I didn’t trust external help even when I needed it.

1. Journal Prompt: All of this led me to believe that I need to be __________ in this world, in order to fit in, be accepted, or be loved.

Example: All of this led me to believe that I needed to be independent and self-reliant in order to fit in—to have a home and a loving family of my own. I remained in situations and jobs longer than I should merely due to a belief that I was here to overcome obstacles. I was led to believe that I had to navigate a world I didn’t understand with pure determination. Because I did well for myself with what I had and could muster, I also came to believe in myself; at this point in my life, I feel a sense of pride when I reflect on my younger self, and I feel happy that all of this has led me to who I am now.

1. Journal Prompt: I now believe that I need to be __________, in order to experience __________. (This is the key sentence that we need in order to start the process of examining and changing our internal narrative.)

Example: Here are some examples of what this final statement might look like, followed by a brief explanation of my reaction to each one:

“I believe that I must go through hard times in order to become wise.” This internal narrative tells me that I will continue to look for hard times, because I believe the reward is wisdom. Gosh, I don’t want hard times any more! I now know that I must adjust this internal narrative.

“I believe that I must take care of others in order to be accepted and loved.” Ouch! This actually is a common internal narrative; you might recognize it, too. I can see that this one doesn’t serve me, either, so I will need to think about how to change it.

These examples of a final statement are very brief, but you might want to write a longer statement, or multiple statements. This part of the process is up to you; choose what works best.

Now it is time to place your statement before your internal council.

Exercise: The Physical Body and Gut

The physical body and gut provide you with instant reflexes for the purpose of survival. With that in mind, I am going to walk you through connecting with your physical body—this is the same exercise we practiced in part 1 of the book. You will then say your statement (or statements) out loud to see the reaction of your physical body.

I invite you to place your fingertips together. Inhale through the nose for a few moments, hold this breath for a few moments, and exhale through the mouth for a few moments. Repeat at least three to five times.

Now mentally do a body scan. Start at the top of the head, move down through the neck and shoulders, and continue down your body to your feet. Now move your consciousness into your gut or your core. Focus on this place within you. When you are ready, read your statement out loud, and pay attention to your gut’s reaction.

If your body relaxes, and you feel a sense of peace, then your physical body approves of your statement.

However, if it tightened or gave you a sensation that you interpret as negative, this is your physical body expressing disagreement with something in the statement. This is a signal that you need to adjust your statement.

In order to understand which specific part of the statement your physical body didn’t feel safe with, let’s go a bit more deeply into it. Say the statement again, but more slowly this time, paying attention to each word. Notice the specific point at which your physical body tightens up or doesn’t feel relaxed. That is the part that needs to be adjusted. (There might be more than one part that needs adjusting.) I invite you to respond to the following prompts in your journal:

1. Describe how the statement made your physical body react. Was there a clear “positive” or “negative” response to the entire statement?

2. If not, what words did your physical body respond positively to, if any?

3. What words did your physical body respond negatively to, if any?

In the following chapter we will walk through how to adjust our statement; for now, just note it in your journal.

Exercise: The Emotional Body and Heart

The emotional body and heart radiate out the energy that provides you with the ability to connect. With this in mind, we are going to do the same exercise that we did previously; however, this time we will draw our consciousness to our heart, just like we did in chapter 3.

Place your fingertips together. Do the same breathing technique as before, and consciously do a body scan. After you have done that for a few seconds, move your consciousness into your heart. You may want to place one or both of your hands over your heart. Take a moment and expand your heart’s vibration out around you as far as you wish, while relaxing in a safe state as much as you can. When you are ready, read your statement out loud, and pay attention to the vibration and radiance of your heart.

If your heart is still full and radiant, your heart is signaling to you that the statement is safe and will provide you with the healthy connection that you are seeking. Your emotional body approves of your statement.

If your vibration starts to collapse or you feel a negative sensation, this is your emotional body expressing to you that there is something in the statement that didn’t bring it a sense of harmony and connection. This, again, is a signal to adjust your statement.

I invite you to write in your journal again, at this point. Say your statement again slowly, paying attention to each word. Notice when your heart collapses or gives you a negative sensation: That part needs to be adjusted.

1. Describe how the statement made your emotional body react. Was there a clear “positive” or “negative” response to the entire statement?

2. If not, what words did your emotional body respond positively to, if any?

3. What words did your emotional body respond negatively to, if any?

Again, for now just note these responses in your journal.

Exercise: The Mental Body and Mind

The mental body and mind is responsible for reasoning and planning. With this in mind, we are going to do the same exercise that we did previously; however, this time we will draw our consciousness to balancing our right and left hemisphere.

Place your fingertips together. Do the breathing technique again, and consciously do a body scan. Once you have done that for a few seconds, move your consciousness into your brain. Now gently place your right hand on your upper left arm and pat it nicely. Next, gently place your left hand on your upper right arm and pat it nicely—continue this exercise back and forth for a few moments, alternating from right to left. This is an active way to allow natural communication between both hemispheres.

When you are ready, read your statement out loud, and pay attention to any pictures or words that might come to you through your mental body.

If your mental body tells you that it is comfortable and confident in your statement, you are good to go.

If your mental body questions your statement, or specific words in your statement, this is an indicator to adjust it.

I invite you to write in your journal at this point. Say the statement again slowly, paying attention to each word.

1. What words did my left hemisphere want to change or adjust, and why? Keep in mind that the left hemisphere is very logical.

2. Draw an abstract illustration of your statement, so that your right hemisphere can also respond to the sentence. Remember that your right hemisphere is creative and communicates in signs, symbols, and pictures.

3. Was it the whole statement that your mental body was responding to?

Again, for now just note these responses in your journal.

Exercise: The Spiritual Body and Soul

The spiritual body and soul hold deep wisdom and provide us with guidance. With this in mind, we are going to do the same exercise while connecting to our spirit.

Instead of placing your fingertips together, place your entire hands together in a prayer position. Do the breathing technique and consciously do a body scan. Once you have done that for a few seconds, move your consciousness to wherever you visualize your spirit to be. Some will move their consciousness to the center of their heart center, others to the crown of their head. Or you may actually want to say a prayer to something holy that you connect with. Remain in this meditative prayer position for a few moments.

When you are ready, read your statement out loud again, and pay attention to how your spirit or your spiritual guide responds.

If you get the green light from your spirit, you are on the right path in your life.

If your spirit or guide gives you a signal that it doesn’t agree with the statement, this is an indicator to adjust it.

I invite you to write in your journal at this point. Say the sentence or statement again slowly, paying attention to each word.

1. What part of the statement, if any, didn’t resonate with your spirit?

2. Journal about how you received this impression (as we all communicate with spirit uniquely).

3. Is there any additional guidance you received from your spirit that relates to your statement?

Again, for now just note your responses in your journal.

Good job! I applaud every step that you have taken in this process, and I hope that you are moving through it with grace and respect for yourself and everything that you have been through. This is a game-changer. Gaining the ability to tap into the wisdom of your internal council and your internal narrative is a monumental achievement. It provides us with the ability to understand who we are and why we do the things that we do. Recognize how empowered you now are; your internal council has provided you with enough information to be able to adjust or change your internal narrative.

10
How to Change or Adjust Your Internal Narrative

We are no longer going to be who they have told us to be. We have the right to readjust our narrative about who we are and how we show up in the world. It is time that we decide who we are.

During this process, it is important to understand that this work will change even the smallest parts of you and will impact your day-to-day life. It will also provide you with the liberty to make larger changes within your life and the understanding of why you might choose to do this. When I do this work in my life, I find that it gives me the opportunity to be proactive within my life instead of simply being reactive to the stories of others. It also helps me understand that if someone has cast me into a particular role within their internal narrative, that is their responsibility—not mine.

No matter how easy or difficult your life has been up to this point, there is always time to readjust and set a new course. There are so many external voices that have shaped us and have shaped our lives; much of our internal narrative was developed as a coping response to this external pressure. Now we are free to be authentic: to live a purposeful life, a meaningful life, and, if you choose, a peaceful life.

The Four Bodies Application

We are now going to take what you’ve learned from the last chapter and begin to adjust our internal narrative. There is no right or wrong way to approach this section. Maybe you’ve already figured out what you want your new version of your internal narrative to be. If so, you are ahead of the game—good for you. However, let’s walk through this process step-by-step to see if we can hone our internal narrative, so that it aligns with each of the four bodies, and reflect a little on the wisdom that each body provides us with.

It’s journal time again. Review what you wrote down in the last chapter, when bouncing your internal narrative statement(s) up against each of your four bodies.

1. What did your physical body say? How can you keep yourself safe and grounded with its wisdom, moving forward?

2. What did your emotional body say? How can you honor your emotions and connect wisely with others, moving forward?

3. What did your mental body say? How can you approach your life with logical planning that works toward your authentic goals?

4. What did your spiritual body say? How can you honor it, moving forward?

Now that you have written down your answers to these journal prompts, let’s reflect on each part of the prompts separately. The first part of each prompt was simply to summarize what each of the four bodies shared with us when we said our personal statement aloud. What, if anything, did each of the four bodies want to change? Based on these responses, you can now make changes and adjustments to your initial narrative statement. In order to show what this process might look like, I will share how I dissected my own personal statements (see pages 116–120 in the previous chapter).

My first statement was, “I believe that I must go through hard times in order to become wise.” How did my four bodies of experience respond to this statement?

My physical body reminded me that it did not feel safe and grounded when I was going through hard times; it disagreed with the idea that I should endure any more hard times only for the sake of wisdom. My emotional body responded to this statement with compassion and a little sadness: It asked me if I needed to have a justification for having a hard life or going through emotional strife. It saw this statement as coping mechanism that wasn’t serving me. My mental body was in conflict. One part of my mental body reinforced that I am now strong and wise because of what I’ve been through; another part showed me that in my younger years I had been strong enough to sacrifice myself for the sake of wisdom; however, the older (current) version of myself was tired and wanted a joyful life, not a hard one. My spiritual body told me that a young warrior needs to prove herself through hard times, but an elder warrior doesn’t have any more to prove—that is, I have arrived. With this counsel, I rewrote my statement: “I will live a life of seeking joy, and I will now gain the wisdom that comes from a happy, peaceful life.”

My second personal statement was, “I believe that I must take care of others in order to be accepted and loved.” How did my four bodies of experience respond to this statement?

My physical body rejected this statement completely. To my physical body, taking care of others in order to feel accepted sounded like an unfair trade-off—something didn’t add up. My emotional body was sad; I sensed that it felt like a rejected child who feels alone and unworthy of love unless it is earned. My mental body fully understood my emotional body’s statement, and my logical side said, “Yep . . . you are a survivor. I understand that you are responding to the message that you’ve received. It appears like a coping mechanism, but you have to do what you have to do in order to survive.” But the creative part of my mental body drew a picture of a slave and its owner. My spiritual body understand the idea of self-sacrifice and the willingness to extend myself for the growth of others, but it struggled with the notion that I might be doing this in order to feel love. My spiritual body recognized that I was experiencing a deficit of inclusion and love. With this counsel, I rewrote my statement: “I am lovable and worthy of love.”

The third example statement that I shared was “I believe that I must look a certain way in order to be accepted into a community.”

My physical body didn’t know how to take this statement. Does this mean that I need to look differently than I do? Aren’t I enough? Again, I had an impression of not being good enough in my own body. My heart felt broken at this point, to the point of being tired and resentful—it was almost like it was telling me, “I don’t need their acceptance—I am me.” I think my heart has grown tired of my placing so much emphasis on others that I do not take care of my own emotional needs. The left hemisphere of my mind sent me the old saying of “keeping up with the Joneses,” telling me, “We all have to do this in this society. What makes you different or special?” (Yeah . . . the left hemisphere of my mental body can be cold.) However, my right hemisphere then stepped in and sent me an amazing picture of a liberated girl wearing combat boots, doing a ballerina twirl, and not caring about anything except being herself. Thank you, right hemisphere. My spiritual body was angered by the notion of not being my authentic self and told me, “Don’t be a puppet. Be your greatness, as only you can be.” So now I have changed this statement—this internal narrative that I’ve lived with so many years.

These are real examples of personal statements that I have worked through as part of this process. What was your experience? No matter what it was, please do not adjust it for the sake of other people’s understanding or acceptance. This is your process now—keep it sacred. It is about you experiencing you! And as I now like to say, “Be your greatness, as only you can be!”

When you write down your response to the second part of the prompt—“how can I honor it, moving forward?”—you will actually be drawing a road map for your life. This is an important part of taking care of yourself, fulfilling your needs and desires, and being your authentic self.

To provide you with an example, here is my own response to this part of the journal prompt.

1. Physical body: How can I keep myself safe and grounded, moving forward? I promise to continuously tap into the wisdom of my physical body and respect what it is telling me. In my life, I have pushed my physical body to the point of injury. I didn’t listen to its wisdom. Now that I am more aware, I will make listening to my physical body part of my daily responsibilities.

2. Emotional body: How can I honor my emotions and connect wisely with others, moving forward? I promise to practice self-love and self-respect. This is something that is desperately needed within our society. If I don’t love and respect my own emotions, how can I truly be authentic? The more that I respect my own heart, the more that I will know how to show up for those whom I choose to show up for.

3. Mental body: How can I approach my life with logical planning that helps me work toward my authentic goals? My pitfalls in the past were sometimes due to only thinking with my left, logical hemisphere. Although I do acknowledge my right hemisphere, I don’t always look to it when I am making decisions for my personal life. I promise to draw more pictures that illustrate my life, as well as to keep a dream journal so that I can pay more attention to my full mind.

4. Spiritual body: How can I honor it, moving forward? I was raised by spiritual leaders and continue to learn more about various aspects of spirituality, but I don’t always apply my spiritual strength to myself. I was talking with a colleague the other day who is a Reiki healer. She told me that she has always freely shared this healing modality with others in her life, but since deciding to give Reiki to herself, as well, her life has changed. I am of the same mind; I will apply my spiritual gifts to myself, too.

At this point, my road map feels very complete. It might look different than yours, and that is perfectly fine. Our road maps show us how our lives will become more whole and authentic when we listen and respond to each of our four bodies. Your physical body will tell you how to look out for yourself. Your emotional body will guide your connections with others and reveal how to correct your course in order to gain the experience that your heart desires. Your mental body will teach you how to focus and plan in order to make your experiences more fulfilling. And your spiritual body will show you how to live the purpose-filled, meaningful, peaceful life that you are designed to live. Additionally, although this map may feel complete today, it may change next year. Accept where you are, right now; you can revisit it and make any adjustments as you grow and develop.

I would like to take a moment to reflect once again on the wisdom of the natural world and how we can apply it to our own human concepts and understandings. For example, humans often struggle with thoughts of not being good enough, not being worthy, or being “too much”—that is, too sensitive, too emotional, too whatever. What do we learn when we try to apply these concepts to the natural world? What would happen if we ask a rose bush, “Do you feel like you are too short? Do you feel unworthy because the tree is taller than you?” The rose bush doesn’t understand the concept of comparing itself to a tree—it only understands being a rose bush. Or what if we ask a tree, “Do you feel that you are ‘too much,’ standing so tall within the world? Don’t you worry that other plants will become jealous of you for being yourself?” The tree does not understand our human concepts. Or if I ask my cat, “Aren’t you afraid of being yourself, without regard for other animals’ perceptions of you?” I am met with the same response: “What are you talking about?”

The natural world does not have a concept of being too little or too much, and they have no fear of being themselves. So why do we? Why do we compare ourselves with others in order to find acceptance? What does society gain from it? My conclusion—or at least, my current response, at this point—is that when we compare ourselves to others, we lose ourselves. And when we lose ourselves, we are more likely to look externally for a “savior” or feel a sense that we need to conform to the status quo. We lose our individualized voice, which may have challenged or threatened societal norms.

For example: My father, as a Navajo child, needed to compare himself with a dominant white culture, only to lose himself and his authentic culture along the way. When reading about his plight, I would invite you, in his spirit, to consider the parts of yourself that might similarly have been silenced. Why do you think those parts have been silenced? Whose agenda does it serve, and what does it accomplish? Why does a certain part of our internal council need to be sacrificed? This topic is obviously one that I have thought deeply about; it is the reason that I am writing this book. Maybe I want to recapture my father’s voice and his story—or maybe, more importantly, I want to make sure that other people’s authentic voices are no longer silenced.

While I am writing this book for you, the individual reader, to help you authentically express yourself, I also see it as important to society as a whole to have more voices that are strong enough to speak out. As a society, we need more voices that can express their organic authenticity. My vision is to live in a world where each of us gets to be our greatness; where even if we don’t always see eye-to-eye, we can coexist and live authentically, without comparisons, and without a dominant culture—a world in which the totality of our greatness creates a balanced biosphere.

Approach with Curiousity

Now that you have your own personalized map of your authentic path, I am going to introduce you to your personal compass, which will help you navigate it. I believe that whatever created you and me instilled within us a compass to guide us to a fulfilling life. What is this compass? I believe that it is our curiosity. Follow your curiosity and see how it leads you to your authenticity.

I was raised in a very religious household. Within this faith, I was taught not to question adults, authority, and especially the church. It was reinforced to me that the mind is the “devil’s playground” and that questions are an act of rebellion against the church. I find it funny, at this point in my life, that I was told, “Don’t stare too long at anything; the devil will get into your head.” Now that I am so far removed from this kind of thinking, I can see how odd and limiting it is to tell someone not to question anything.

Curiosity leads to questions, which are vital to learning and growing. I don’t question things because I am a rebel; I question things so that I can learn and understand more. It wasn’t until I was in my mid-twenties that I started to feel comfortable asking questions. By the time I turned thirty, I had so many questions that I enrolled in college. Finding answers to my questions led to even more questions, and in my mid-thirties, I decided to follow my curiosity and take classes outside of formal education as well. After taking a class about the metaphysical properties of stones, I followed this path to learn more about all forms of spiritual expressions. Eventually, this led me back to asking questions about my cultural heritage and bloodline—and I learned that my path was leading me to become a medicine person or Shaman. Curiosity was my internal compass to lead me home—to myself.

Maybe you are already comfortable asking questions and being curious. That is wonderful. Follow your curiosity; take action to investigate what you are curious about and see where it leads you. Or maybe you are like me, and you were raised in an environment where questioning and curiosity were restricted. I invite you to give yourself permission to ask questions and to be curious. It will lead you to discover more about who you are.

Why would a group tell its members not to ask questions? There are so many different reasons: Maybe they have something to hide. Maybe their answers will not stand up to any scrutiny. Maybe the ones who are telling you not to ask questions don’t have any answers—or maybe they don’t ask questions themselves and simply follow a leader or a script. Maybe it is a type of defense mechanism, because they are afraid of anyone who challenges their own belief system. In my experience, it is usually a combination of a few of these; however, I believe the primary reason I was told not to ask questions was that I wouldn’t be able to think for myself. It was a form of control.

Some of our internal narratives are so deeply ingrained that at first, it might be difficult to even question them, let alone adjust them. I invite you to simply remain in a position of being curious. Being curious is childlike, and that is a wonderful frame of mind to be in when we are seeking to discover more about ourselves.

Meet the Guardian at the Threshold

Doing the work of adjusting or changing our internal narrative can be difficult. Not only will the external world question what we are doing, but the internal world—our old internal narrative—may push back against the new, unfamiliar narrative. Some parts of our internal narrative are so ingrained that they have become part of our belief system, and challenging a belief system is one of the most difficult tasks we can take on. People go to war over their belief systems—they are willing to risk anything and everything to defend their beliefs. So it’s understandable that we may encounter difficulties when we start to examine some narratives that might actually be a part of our belief system.

There are different ways we can think about the process of overcoming the internal challenges we encounter along our path of growth or development. For example, we might think of it as passing a test, moving up to the next level, or going through a rite of passage. In many different esoteric or spiritual teachings there is a metaphorical concept of a “guardian at the threshold,” which determines whether or not you have earned the right to ascend or if you are ready to move beyond your current capacity.

Everyone has a different capacity or ability to do different things. When we think about encountering our threshold, it doesn’t matter if your capacity is large or small—the point here is that once we move beyond our comfort zone, and outside of our capacity, any challenges we face might push us back in. If I were to draw a circle on a page and imagine that everything within this circle is my “capacity,” then the actual line that I drew would be considered my “threshold.” When I remain within the circle of my capacity, I won’t encounter much resistance from external forces. However, once I decide to move beyond the circle’s threshold, I will meet my metaphorical “guardian.” This guardian is not kind, and it won’t easily let me pass. It may ask me questions such as, “Who do you think that you are, trying to pass?” Or it might tell me that I don’t have the right to pass. These are the intrusive thoughts we have that can keep us from continuing to expand our circle of capacity, to grow and develop beyond what we were.

If I have the courage to move past this guardian and beyond the threshold, I will find myself in uncharted territory. I might feel fear or a sense of not belonging; this is the final test of the guardian. At this point, many people will want to retreat back to their prior circle of capacity. However, if I decide to face my fear and venture into this unfamiliar territory, with time I will become familiar with it and relax into my new and larger circle of capacity.

This might be your experience as you adjust or change your internal narrative. When trying to adopt your new narrative, you might feel like you don’t deserve a better life; your guardian at the threshold might challenge you. Move past it with a sense of curiosity. When I adjust or change my internal narrative, I like to place notes reminding me of my new narrative on my bathroom mirror, so that I can start and end my day with it. It might take a little time to get used to your new internal narrative, but give yourself that time—you are worth it.

The Hero’s Journey

Here is another concept to help support your process of changing your internal narrative. The “hero’s journey,” as identified by the writer Joseph Campbell, is a common storyline that can be found in many myths across different cultures.[17] This plot involves three stages:

1. The departure of the hero from their ordinary life;

2. An initiation of the hero, which includes overcoming trials and tribulations;

3. The return of the hero to a new, changed world or as a new version of themselves.

This is a very condensed outline of the hero’s journey, but I suggest that it directly aligns with the experience of finding your internal narrative; adjusting or changing it; and showing up in your life as a hero. Let me break this down.

First, we need to take the first step away from our previous, ordinary life and toward a life of authenticity. Due to the fact that you have picked up this book and have made it this far, it’s clear that your ordinary life is not the end of your story. Additionally, maybe the reason you had been feeling your life was “ordinary” was that it wasn’t your authentic life.

Second, like the hero, we go through a kind of initiation that includes overcoming seemingly insurmountable obstacles. The journey that we went through together within this book was a kind of initiation in itself, as you learned how to listen to the internal council of the four bodies. You showed courage in rising to the challenge of listening to yourself—something you may not have been allowed to do before. You faced your own internal narrative and challenged ingrained beliefs that were no longer serving you. And finally, you approached the guardians at the threshold with curiosity, moved past them, and arrived in a place of the unknown with your new or revised internal narrative, without being sure how the world around you would respond.

Finally, we return to our ordinary life with a whole new perspective. You have done something amazing and have become the hero in your own narrative. Congratulations—you did it! The challenges that you have overcome to make it to this point only reveal how amazing you are and how dedicated you are to living an authentic life with purpose. You are the reason that I wrote this book.

11
What Happens Once Your Internal Narrative Changes

In the last chapter, we saw how the process of changing your internal narrative is like the hero’s journey: We left our ordinary life behind, we were tested, and we have returned. We have amplified the voice of our internal narrative and turned down the external voices telling us who they want or need us to be. We have gone through the internal struggle of questioning our internal narrative and adjusted it to align with our current, authentic selves. We have become the hero on our own journey, the captain of our own soul.[18] Now, we will meet the challenge of returning to our previously ordinary life, but now as an authentic and extraordinary individual.

What happens when we return to our familiar world with our new perspective and new internal narrative? As I have said before: When you change, the world around you cannot help but change. In this chapter, I am going to share with you a number of examples that support this notion. I will share with you information about body language; about how your emotional intelligence and sensitivity affect how others respond to you; about our knowledge and mental clarity; and about our spirituality shining through. All of these will help explain how, once your internal narrative changes, the world around you will change as well.

The change that we have been discovering in this book comes from the alignment of the four bodies: hearing your internal narrative and then changing it or adjusting it to align with your current life. This internal alignment is how we can experience Hózhǫ́. The concept of Hózhǫ́ is expressed through each of the four bodies individually; however, when they are all in alignment, then Hózhǫ́, as an internal practice, will be expressed in the external world.

Changes in the Physical Body: Body Language and Communication

When Hózhǫ́ is expressed within the body, it sends a message to the external world that you are a person who walks in balance. How does this happen? First, let’s think about how our internal narrative affects our body language and nonverbal communication. In their book, Louder Than Words: Nonverbal Communication, Mele Koneya and Alton Barbour write that only 7 percent of communication is in words. The other 93 percent is nonverbal—38 percent is vocal (volume, pitch, tone), and the remaining 55 percent is body movement or body language.[19] These percentages were staggering to me the first time that I heard them. It makes me wonder if the reason that we use so many emojis when chatting on social media and in text messages is to compensate for that 55 percent of our communication that is body language—that words alone aren’t able to relay.

As a medicine woman or Shaman, I find that my spirituality is largely connected to the natural world. It is known that many Shamans will connect with the natural world in one way or another. When I am teaching a class on Shamanism or on how to communicate with the natural world, I will reflect on the statistics I shared above. I will share with the class that if they expect plants, animals, landscapes, seasons, and the weather cycles to speak to them in a verbal, human language, they will struggle. However, if they relax and recognize that the majority of the ways that humans communicate with other humans is actually nonverbal, they will find it easier to communicate with the natural world. That is when the light bulb turns on for most students.

Think about it. Do you have a pet or animal companion? Chances are that you have learned how to communicate over time, even without a common language. My cat knows how to wake me up in the morning to get her breakfast. She also lets me know when she would like my attention and when she would prefer to be alone. How does your animal companion speak to you?

Previously, I mentioned asking a rose bush if it wished that it were as tall as a tree, and asking the tree if it believed it was too tall. When I make these types of statements, I don’t mean that I am walking outside and speaking to the rose bush or the tree in my own, human language. (Well . . . sometimes I do!) What I am actually doing is sitting beside the rose bush or leaning up against the tree, keeping these questions in my mind. I consider how the roses are growing, and I see that they are growing as large as they want to grow. I see that the rose bush is more focused on its blooming flowers and its protective thorns—not its height. Similarly, I notice how the tree is growing: It is not bowing or bending down to try to be smaller than it is; it stands straight and tall, reaching for the sun and the sky. One could say that I communicate with them through body language, or through noticing the way that they grow and show up in the world.

Consider the signals that we send with our own, human body language. For example, I frequently present at various conferences: What if I were to show up with my head hanging low, not making any eye contact, and my voice so quiet that the audience would have to strain to hear me? What messages am I sending? While it is somewhat open for interpretation, most people would probably interpret from my body language that I didn’t want to be there. They might respond by disengaging from what I was saying—or leaving. After all, why would they give me any more attention than I am giving them? Maybe they would simply be uncomfortable, thinking that I am uncomfortable. In truth, they would be right.

On the other hand, what if I were to walk up to the front of the room with my shoulders back and a pleasant look on my face, giving them a warm greeting and making eye contact. What if I tell them that I am honored to be there, in a voice that is clear and loud enough for everyone to hear. The audience’s response would be the complete opposite; they would be more engaged. Maybe they would sit up, give me their attention, and participate when I ask them to do an exercise. In short, different body language solicits different responses. Even in a small group, or with friends and family, people will notice body language, even if they aren’t necessarily paying close attention to each indicator. They might say, “You look happy,” or, “You look sad.” Inevitably, how we are feeling and what we are thinking will show up in our body language and in the tone of our voice.

Let’s look at this same scenario again. What if my body language was off because my internal narrative was telling me, “I will probably make a mistake, and everyone will think that I am a joke or that I don’t know what I am talking about.” Or maybe, my internal narrative was saying, “I don’t want to be here; I am afraid of big crowds.” Our internal narrative affects our body language, and in turn, this affects how others perceive us. However, if I have a confident internal narrative—“I am honored to be here; this is going to be a great experience”—my body language will reflect this, and the audience will respond accordingly. The same goes for connecting with friends and family. Your internal narrative will be reflected in your body language, which is the loudest thing in the room—beyond words. Others will experience how you walk in Hózhǫ́.

Changes in the Emotional Body: Emotional Intelligence and Sensitivity

Hózhǫ́ will express itself and flow through the emotional body as honesty and authenticity. Others may experience more of a calming effect when they are around you. Now let’s consider how shifting our internal narrative affects our emotional intelligence. What is emotional intelligence? In short, it is the ability to recognize and understand where another individual is coming from on an emotional level. In his book Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goldman describes four main categories of emotional intelligence. [20] The first one is self-awareness, being aware of how you feel and behave in certain situations, based on your knowledge of self. The second one is self-management, knowing how to manage your emotions—especially the more volatile emotions, such as anger, anxiety, and aggravation. Self-management is about being able to feel and recognize these emotions without becoming dysregulated; being unable to manage our emotions can result in big arguments, road rage, or other disruptive and potentially dangerous fits. The third category is social awareness. Social awareness is not only knowing how others are feeling but actually caring about how they are feeling and taking action to help them when needed. This is a quality that we find in a good parent, partner, or friend, as well as in good teachers, doctors, and leaders. The fourth one is relationship management, the ability to communicate effectively and to use conflict-resolution tools. Goldman also tells us within his book that emotional intelligence can be learned; this skill can be developed throughout a person’s life.

Some people, however, are naturally more in tune with others’ emotions. Dr. Elaine Aron describes such people as being Highly Sensitive.[21] A Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) has incredible emotional empathy, but they didn’t have to learn it—they were born with it. Such people experience the world around them very deeply, and they are able to pay attention to the subtleties within their environment. (Because of this, they can also get easily overstimulated.) Highly Sensitive People may also be referred to as Empaths; if you are interested in learning more, I recommend reading The Empath's Survival Guide: Life Strategies for Sensitive People by Judith Orloff, MD.[22]

So what does emotional intelligence and emotional sensitivity have to do with the impact of our internal narrative on the world around us? When we listened to the wisdom of our emotional body and shifted our internal narrative accordingly, we gained some permission and liberty to share our emotions more freely and openly. When we adjust our internal narrative, we can remove the blockage between our physical bodies and the words that we speak. Hence, my emotions will be more clearly visible in my body language and heard in my voice.

Let me revisit one of my own personal statements that I shared in the previous chapters, but solely focus on how my emotional body helped me adjust it and, in turn, change the way that I emotionally connect with others. My old statement was, “I believe that I must take care of others in order to be accepted and loved.” My emotional body was sad when I said this statement aloud. It felt like a rejected child, alone and unworthy of love. This statement, this part of my internal narrative, hurt my emotional body. So I rewrote my statement, changing it to, “I am lovable and worthy of love.”

Changing my internal narrative in this way has changed the way that I approach people. Yes, I am still a caregiver—but not for the sake of being accepted. I am a caregiver because of who I am and how I like to help others; I am more selective as to whom I will give care. This changes everything. When I look back at my old narrative, I can see that I was bargaining with others without their even knowing it. Within my old relationships, I was not caring purely out of love; I was caring out of need. This old, somewhat co-dependent narrative came out of a past trauma within my childhood. Now that I understand that and have shifted my narrative, when I give assistance or help to another, I do so freely, without wanting or needing something in return—and this deepens the relations that I choose to have.

Changing this internal narrative helps me to show up in relationships with the ability to receive love, even if I don’t feel like I earned it. It also keeps me safe, as I know I will no longer trap myself in an unhealthy relationship or stay in an “expired” relationship—one that was only meant for a short period of time, and needed to come to an end. In my past, I have stayed in some relationships—whether it is with a partner, a friend, or even a job—past the time when I should have left, simply out of a need to feel accepted. In those cases, I was staying in the relationship not out of love but out of a fear of being abandoned.

When I changed my internal narrative, I also began to take baby steps toward self-care and self-love. This is still a work in progress; however, now that I am aware of it, I continue to work on it. I have found that the more that I practice self-love, the more I will encourage others to do the same. Changing my internal narrative has changed the way that I show up in my relationships with others; it has changed the world around me.

Changes in the Mental Body: Knowledge and Mental Clarity

Hózhǫ́ will be expressed through the mental body as clarity of thought and curiosity. Curiosity is a direct reflection of the wonder that we find within the world. But many people struggle to maintain a curious mindset about the world around them, and some of us have a higher tolerance for being in an “unknown” state than others. Different circumstances, as well, can affect how much we can tolerate “unknown” states.

For example, if someone is thinking about changing jobs but hasn’t made the decision yet, they are in a state of not knowing, but it is under their control. This individual might be able to remain in this state of not knowing for months or even years. However, if the leadership team within an organization announces that there will be “restructuring,” but doesn’t give any additional information, this kind of “not knowing” will be harder to tolerate. In these situations, many people will fill this empty, unknown space with any kind of idea that seems more certain—even negative ones like “There are going to be layoffs.” Some might preemptively leave their jobs, or they might try to harm or badmouth the organization. Others might work a little harder to try to prove themselves and avoid getting laid off. All of this can happen even if the leadership team had no intention of laying anyone off.

When people have a low tolerance for the “unknown,” it can be easy to respond with fear—because at least they know fear and can normalize it, to a certain degree. Fear moves them from the state of not-knowing to a sense of knowing, which offers a sense of power and control over the situation. We want to be able to navigate from a position of action instead of reaction: to be able to leave a job on your own terms rather than being laid off. However, if in our scenario there were not actually any layoffs coming, we would have left our job for nothing. This is why, when we are afraid of something, it is important to learn all that we can about it and act from a position of mental clarity.

Mental clarity is the ability to make a sound decision based on our understanding of all of the facts. This does not just mean the logical and linear thinking of our left hemisphere; we are also talking about the clarity that comes from our creative and intuitive mind within the right hemisphere. This is a holistic way to approach the concept of the mental body and mental clarity. Personally, I am a “picture thinker,” which I feel assists me with tapping into my right hemisphere. (Not everyone thinks in pictures; some will think in words, while others think in a combination of words and pictures.) This also assists me as a Shaman, because my right hemisphere reveals to me the interconnectedness of all that is—I witness within the natural world how everything is connected to everything else.

When I change my internal narrative within my mental body—gaining mental clarity—the world around me changes in response. For example, when I show up in the world with an internal narrative that tells me I belong, this automatically signals to others that I belong there, too. Have you ever had this experience in the natural world? When you take a walk in nature while not only sensing but knowing that you are a part of it, the birds and other animals will come out; they will not be spooked by you. You have entered into a realm of connectedness.

I’ve heard it said that “energy goes where consciousness flows.” In quantum physics, they call this the observer effect—the idea that when something is being observed, it changes because it is being observed. Within the medical community, there is a similar concept called the Hawthorne effect, according to which a person will change their behavior due to the fact that they are being observed. Or think of the placebo effect, the idea that an individual’s belief in the effectiveness of a medicine will affect how well it works on their body or mind. All of these ideas suggest that simply being aware of the world around you will change it. Wow!

So how did my own internal narrative affect where my energy was flowing? Let’s reflect on another one of the personal statements I previously shared. This time, I will focus only on how the mental body responded. One of my statements was, “I believe that I must look a certain way in order to be accepted into a community.” In the last chapter, I explained how my mental body responded in two different ways: The left hemisphere coldly told me, “We all have to do this in this society. What makes you different?” But my right hemisphere sent me a mental picture of a dancing girl who didn’t care what others thought about her. This led me to adjust my internal narrative—but how did that bring additional clarity to my mental body and, moreover, how did this change the world around me?

I’ve previously talked about my feeling, back when I was working in Corporate America, that while I might have looked like I was accomplished or moving up in the world, I didn’t feel like I belonged. Every day, there were small parts of my authentic self that I was losing sight of. I was dressing the part, saying the things that I was expected to say, and being what they were paying me to be—and, in my humble opinion, I was good at it. The only person who noticed that I didn’t quite belong there was a mentor at the company, who looked me straight in the eyes one day and said, “What are you doing here? You are the most intuitive person that I have ever met, you are creative, and you aren’t able to express those talents here.” But I didn’t listen to them, and I continued to show up at a workplace where I had to change myself in order to fit in.

Around this point in my life, I had an accident that put me in bed for nine months; I had a lot of time to sit and think. I was no longer distracting myself with who they wanted me to be, and instead, I had to sit with who I was. I realized that I felt sad and lost; I didn’t like who I had become. I was only listening to the part of my left hemisphere, which encouraged my internal narrative that I must look a certain way in order to be accepted. I couldn’t even hear the wisdom of my right hemisphere, at this point. But over the course of these nine months, I began to listen to my four bodies of existence—it was as if I’d had a wakeup call, one that was alarming enough that I had to stop and pay attention.

The change for me didn’t happen overnight, but the following year, I opened up my consulting business. I left my corporate job and went out on my own; I have been self-employed ever since. I am thankful that I woke up to seek my authenticity, to give each of my four bodies a voice, and to listen with curiosity, because it led me back home to myself. When I was able to listen to my mental body and change my internal narrative around how I look and show up in the world, it changed my life—after all, I am now writing this book to share this wisdom with you.

Changes in the Spiritual Body: Spiritual Light Shining Through

Hózhǫ́ can be expressed spiritually in different ways: through the individual spirit, the spirit within a society, or even creative, artistic expressions. In chapter 5, I shared three different perspectives on the spirit: the subjective spirit (our individual human spirit), the objective spirit (the spirit of society), and the absolute spirit (the concept of spirit as captured in art, religion, and philosophy). Let’s look at how shifting our internal narrative affects these different aspects of spirit.

As a Shaman, I work with my subjective spirit from the position of animism, or the idea that everything has a soul or consciousness. The earth has a consciousness. The cosmos has a consciousness. Everything is truly alive and is thinking and learning on one level or another. Approaching the natural world with this lens allows me to become curious, to be a student of the natural world and all the wonderful concepts, wisdom, and lessons that it can share with me if I position myself correctly.

On one of my trips down to the Navajo Reservation as an adult, I was driving with my father in my little Honda Civic. Driving on the Reservation can be a little treacherous, with its dirt roads and ditches, and the road we were driving on was washboard bumpy. I slowed down and started talking to the road and to my little car, saying, “It’s going to be OK. Just relax, we got this.” My dad looked at me with the biggest smile on his face, and I asked him why. He said, “You are truly Navajo—talking to the road and talking to your car as though they are alive.” I later learned what he meant by this: the idea that everything has a lifeforce and a soul, or animism. This is one of the main concepts informing the worldview of a medicine person, and I was doing it naturally.

As a Shaman, my work with the objective spirit—the spirit of society—focuses on ethical living. This means being aware of the collective, not just the individual, including the natural world: plants, animals, and mother nature. When we revise our internal narrative to come into alignment with objective spirit, this affects the world around us through making decisions that will be supportive of all living things. At times, this is about human rights and social justice. Other times, it is about the environment, or finding sustainable ways to live without making a significant impact on the climate. But it is always about finding a balance to help humans and the natural world to live in harmony with each other.

From a Shamanic point of view, I would encourage the development of absolute spirit through cultural artistic expression: singing, dancing, painting, or anything else. I also continue to study and to share stories and understandings of world religions and from different cultures’ stories. Additionally, I continue to study philosophy, as it assists me in understanding spirit from another perspective. Within these belief systems and stories, we can find wonderful wisdom.

How does changing our internal narrative to align with our spiritual body have an impact on the world around us? Again, I will reflect on one of the old internal narratives that I had and what happened in my life when I changed it. My example statement was, “I believe that I must go through hard times in order to become wise.” My spiritual body told me that while this may have been true in the past, I no longer had to prove myself through experiencing hard times, yet the elder warrior (me now) doesn’t have any more to prove—I have arrived. With this counsel, I rewrote my statement: “I will live a life of seeking joy, and I will now gain the wisdom of a happy, peaceful life.” But how did this actually affect my external world?

Let me give you a small example of how I seek joy within common things. I have always wanted a stainless-steel barbeque grill, with a second rack on top, and a side burner. I already had an older grill, but it was hard to barbecue without constant attention, as it was unpredictable and uneven with its heat distribution. Based on my old internal narrative—the idea that I needed life to be hard—I kept that old barbeque longer than I should have. After I changed this narrative to one in which I needed to live a life of happiness, I bought the grill of my dreams, and I have been happily grilling even in the wintertime, just because it is fun.

Some would think that purchasing a new barbeque grill was a small change—but it made an immediate impact on my day-to-day life. This was one of many small changes that I started to make once I had my new internal narrative. I made other, larger changes based on this narrative, too: I now make business decisions with happiness in mind. Now, I am having a great time running my business. I am showing up at events because I am seeking joy, not out of obligation. I show up happier, and happiness is contagious. Yes, I still experience hard times, but I am no longer seeking hard times—it makes a big difference.

Ideas, Approaches, and Notions

Imagine for a moment what experiences we could have, personally and collectively, if each of us showed up as our authentic selves. I believe that one of the main reasons people discriminate against others is that they do not allow themselves to be authentic. They hold the idea that if they have to conform to a box or a label, everyone else should, too. If they haven’t been allowed to be curious, no one else should be allowed to be curious. Such limited thinking.

I wonder if, when we move closer to our authenticity and experience its liberty and joy, we then naturally encourage others to do the same. I don’t make these statements lightly. My mentor is the natural world; it has taught me that every organism on the face of this earth has a consciousness as well as the ability to learn. One of the biggest differences that I see between the human race and other species is that we alone have internal narratives that tell us we are not good enough, we are unlovable, or that we need to change who we are to be accepted. The wisdom of the natural world shows us that each organism should show up as it is, and together, we create a balanced biosphere.

Sometimes we do not need a big shift in our internal narrative in order to show up living a better life. Sometimes it is simply a matter of adjusting how we think about or approach certain things. For example, when I was working in Corporate America, I experienced a little burnout from time to time. In order to show up to work, I would have a talk with myself. Instead of thinking, “I work for this job,” which places the job as something that I don’t have any say in, I would think, “This job is working for me at this point in my life,” which places myself as the priority. A simple shift in thinking can make a world of difference.

Here is another example. At the time I am writing this, my son is in his thirties, and he is he is striving to get ahead in his career and make wise financial investments. Every day he has goals that he works toward. One day, he got into a fender-bender. No one was hurt, but he needed to pay the deductible on his insurance for cosmetic repairs. He called me up and said, “I try to do everything right to get ahead, but something always happens to set me back.” The frustration that he was experiencing was understandable. I told him that I understood where he was coming from, but then I added, “Maybe it is just that life happens. You continue to strive for greatness, and you always pick yourself up—life happens to everyone.” He liked that change in approach and told me that it made more sense, and that he felt better.

What I am focusing on here is perception. Perception is how we interpret the world around us—the places that we go to, the people that we encounter, the tasks at hand. Life is a phenomenon happening all around us, but how we interpret and label it is up to us. Our perception is the interface between an external phenomenon and how our internal narrative interprets it.

If multiple people witness the same event, they all may walk away with different recollections of what occurred. This is because each individual’s perception of the event is colored by their personal experiences and their knowledge base. If these individuals are able to come together to discuss their understanding of the event, each person’s perception of what happened might begin to change to be more in sync with the rest of the group. Discussing what happened with others who were there assists us in stabilizing our perception of the event—especially if it was confusing or unusual.

When I say that an individual’s perception is colored by their experience and knowledge, it is to say that we will interpret the world in a way that we can understand; we look for the familiar. For example, think about how you perceived your childhood experiences when you were a child, and then compare that to your recollection of those experiences as an adult. When we are children, our knowledge is limited simply due to our youth and lack of experience. However, when we become adults with more experience and knowledge, our perception of what occurred when we were children might change. The facts might be the same, but our perception changes.

If our perception is colored by our experience and knowledge, and if that experience and knowledge is based in fear, shame, or any other depressive ideation, we will perceive the world negatively. This is not only because it is something that we can identify with or that it is something that is familiar; it because it is something that we have learned to actively look for in the world. We recognize that which we are familiar with or accustomed to.

As we walk through the world, we constantly have to focus on certain things and block out others. The things that we tend to block out are what our mind considers to be “irrelevant information”—possibly information that we are simply not familiar with. When we only process those things that we already recognize, our existing worldview is more firmly solidified. We will only see evidence to support what we are already familiar with. In the last chapter, I showed how the “guardian at the threshold” pushes us back when we try to venture outside of our circle of capacity. This can also happen when we try to expand our perception and worldview.

When I was learning to drive a car, I was repeatedly told to check my “blind spots,” meaning the areas around the car that your mirrors cannot show you. “Look for cars in your blind spots,” my driving instructor would tell me, “look for cars.” Years later, I heard that if you are only looking for cars in your blind spots, you will only see cars—and you will miss the motorcycle that is right there. Similarly, I used to only see evidence that supported my old internal narrative, causing me to believe that I was seeing my surroundings clearly when I actually wasn’t.

We need to remember that there may be something that lies just outside the field of our personal perception; this helps us remain curious, which allows us to adjust our internal narrative. There is always something more. If I continue to look for hard times, rejection, and sadness—I will inevitably find it. Maybe happiness exists just outside the area of my perception, and I haven’t recognized it yet.

We might not be able to actually change the phenomena that occur around us, but we can certainly change how we perceive them. In turn, this will change how we approach the world. We will seek environments that will accept us. We will seek situations in which we can be successful. And others will certainly change their perception of us. In this way, we change the world around us. When you change, the world around you cannot help but change.

Conclusion

I did not write this book simply through scholarly knowledge or my experience as a Shamanic practitioner. This book is the result of a lifetime of trying to find myself, a lifetime of teaching my soul to understand others who are trying to find themselves. This is my contribution. I acknowledge you, the reader. My wish is that you find Hózhǫ́ in your life.

Hózhǫ́ is expressed through the alignment of the four bodies of experience. When we can hear our internal narrative, we have the opportunity to live our truth and authenticity. When we are not in Hózhǫ́, there is internal confusion and frustration, and we may even ignore our own internal voice. When I lived this way, I felt sad and depressed. Once we can honor the four bodies of existence, align them, and work with them as our internal council—then we are experiencing Hózhǫ́.

I was inspired to write the first part of this book because I wanted to share with you the wisdom of the four bodies of existence: the physical body, the emotional body, the mental body, and the spiritual body. Connecting with each of these bodies, giving them a voice, and listening to their counsel can be life changing. In doing this we can find self-knowledge, self-empowerment, and ultimately self-actualization, finding the authentic life that is our birthright.

In the second part of this book, we learned how to discover and listen to our internal narrative, the story that has been playing out within our lives. Once we can identify this narrative, we can decide if it truly fits the life that we want to live. If it doesn’t, we have the ability to change or adjust this internal narrative. Additionally, we learned that others around you have an internal narrative, too, and how learning to see these narratives can help you to better understand others. It also can help you identify your role within their narrative—and when you feel like you have been cast in a role that you do not identify with, it makes it easier to simply move away from harmful relationships. This will help us to find a purposeful, meaningful, and peaceful life—to live our best life on purpose.

Additionally, when we learn to change our internal narrative, it can have a great impact on the world around us as well. Changing our narrative changes our perception. Changing our perception changes our approach. Changing our approach changes how the external world responds to us. Change begins from within.

May you live in balance and in harmony—may you find Hózhǫ́ within you.

Notes

[1] Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet (Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group, 1923), 64.

[2] Resmaa Menakem, My Grandmother’s Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies (Central Recovery Press, 2017).

[3] “Energetic Communication,” HeartMath Institute, accessed September 2, 2025, https://www.heartmath.org/research/science-of-the-heart/energetic-communication.

[4] Ali M. Alshami, “Pain: Is It All in the Brain or the Heart?,” Current Pain and Headache Reports 23, no. 12 (2019), https://doi.org/10.1007/s11916-019-0827-4.

[5] James Kneller, “Can a Heart Transplant Change Your Personality?,” July 14, 2021, YouTube, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVwIm0VL5w8&t=215s.

[6] Kneller, “Can a Heart Transplant Change Your Personality?,”

[7] Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ (Bantam Books, 2006).

[8] Iain McGilchrist, The Master and His Emissary: The Divided Brain and the Making of the Western World (Yale University Press, 2019).

[9] McGilchrist, The Master and His Emissary.

[10] These understandings of the subjective, objective, and absolute spirit are drawn from the work of German philosopher Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel. For more, see Paul Redding, “Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel,” Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy, January 9, 2020, https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/hegel/.

[11] William Arntz, Betsy Chasse, and Mark Vicente, What the Bleep Do We Know?! (Health Communications, 2007), 170.

[12] Arntz, Chasse, and Vicente, What the Bleep Do We Know?!, 170.

[13] William Shakespeare, The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Wordsworth Edition Limited, 2012), 260.

[14] Margaret Mark and Carol Pearson, The Hero and the Outlaw: Harnessing the Power of Archetypes to Create a Winning Brand (McGraw-Hill, 2001).

[15] I would additionally recommend Carl Jung’s writings on archetypes, found in The Collected Works of C. G. Jung, Volume 9 (Part 1): Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious, trans. R. F. C. Hull (Princeton University Press, 1969).

[16] Joanna Martine Woolfolk, The Only Astrology Book You’ll Ever Need (Scarborough House, 1990).

[17] Joseph Campbell, The Hero with a Thousand Faces (New World Library, 2008). “Part I: The Adventure of the Hero” outlines the stages of the hero’s journey in depth.

[18] The phrase “captain of your own soul” comes from the wonderful poem “Invictus,” by William Earnest Henley; “Invictus,” Poetry Foundation, accessed July 31, 2024, https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/51642/invictus.

[19] Mele Koneya and Alton Barbour, Louder Than Words: Nonverbal Communication (Merrill Publishing Company, 1976), 4.

[20] Goleman, Emotional Intelligence.

[21] Elaine Aron, “The Highly Sensitive Person,” The Highly Sensitive Person, accessed July 30, 2024, https://hsperson.com/.

[22] Judith Orloff, The Empath’s Survival Guide: Life Strategies for Sensitive People (Sounds True, 2020).

Index

Please note that index links to approximate location of each term.

A
absolute spirit, 62–63, 65, 67, 72, 148
acceptance, social, 143–144
action, belief as driving, 10
adulthood, 108, 113–114
aesthetics, 63

Air element, 13, 99
alignment and balance, 14–19
ambiguity, tolerating, 94, 144–145
amygdala, 22
ancestors
and DNA memory, 25
sharing as way of, 39
staying true to, 3
animism, 148

Aquarius, 101
archetypes, 82, 95–98, 102–103, 107, 113

Aries, 99

Arntz, William, 76

Aron, Dr. Elaine, 143
art
and absolute spirit, 63, 65, 67, 68, 148–149

Creator/Artist archetype, 96, 98
assumptions/expectations, 93–94, 120
astrology, x, 82, 99–102, 108
authentic self
being recognized as, 57
cohesive workings of, 14
curiosity as leading to, 134, 150
four-body expression of, 140–149
harmful beliefs vs., 9–10
intelligence of, 4–5, 69–71
and internal narrative, 111, 114
living as, ix, xi, 2, 5, 78, 90–91, 94, 109, 127, 139, 150
loss/silencing of, 2–3, 37, 132–133, 147
love of/pride in, 87–89
nature and examples of, 132, 150
as our birthright, 153
recognized in others, 72
sacred process of, 130
authority, challenging, 133–134
awareness
of authentic self, 81, 144
emotional intelligence and, 41, 142
exercising bodily, 28–30
external changes via, 46, 146, 148, 150–152
of/by the natural world, 37
social, 107, 143

B

Baby Boomers, 111
balance
and alignment, 14–19
daily check-in for, 75
of the four bodies, 8, 14
in heart intelligence, 39
holding differences in, 58
internal/external, 34
journey to find, 1
mental, 54–55
and peace of purpose, 91

See also Hózhǫ́

Barbour, Alton, 140

Barnum, Melanie, xi
beauty norms, 26

Belief, Being, and Beyond (Granddaughter Crow), 68
belief systems
assumptions/expectations, 93–94
challenging harmful, 9–10, 134, 135
changing internal, 128–132
control by, 68
identity and, 68
and internal narrative, 111, 119–120
neuronets for storing, 76
belonging
and bicultural identity, 52–53
internal narrative about, 107, 146
unfamiliar territory vs., 136
and worthiness for love, 143–144
bias, 110
bicultural identity, 15–16, 52–53, 55–58, 84–86, 110

BIPOC people, 25, 67
body language, 140
book banning, 67
brain, the
exercising the, 46
information from heart to, 34, 37, 41
left/right hemispheres of, 47–50, 71, 145
mental intelligence, 45–60
mind vs., 45
neuronets in, 76
neurons in, 33

See also mental body
breath
and emotional intelligence, 41, 122
and mental intelligence, 58, 124
and physical intelligence, 27, 121
and somatic integration, 58, 124
and spiritual intelligence, 71, 125
business world, 38

C

Cafe Astrology, 104
calling, spiritual, 64

Campbell, Joseph, 136

Cancer, 100

Capricorn, 101

Caregiver archetype, 96, 98, 143–144
censorship, 67
challenges in life
empowerment amidst, 5
internal narrative and response to, 109
mental intelligence to support, 54
overcoming internal, 135
purpose and strength amidst, 91
change
via alignment of the four bodies, 18
via both sides of the brain, 54
via curiosity, 133–134
external evidence of internal, 139–149, 150–152
four-body wisdom for, 128
guardian vs. personal, 135–136
as hero’s journey, 136–137
of internal narrative, 82–83, 103, 109, 115, 126–137, 150–152
via living as authentic self, ix, x
via new neural pathways, 46
power to, 63

Chasse, Betty, 76
children
censoring education of, 67–68
formative years, 106–107
four body alignment for, 78
importance of parents to, 86
indoctrination of, 37, 51, 68, 83, 85
limited perception of, 151
mindset of, 134
teenage years, 107–108

Christian Indian Center, 51

Christian Reformed Church, 51, 52, 56, 83
clarity, mental, 144
co-dependence, 144
code talkers, Navajo, 87
comfort/healing, 35
communication
language of the body, 26
with the natural world, 140–141
nonverbal, 140–142
community building, 33, 49
compass, personal, 133–134
conditioning, cultural, 51
conflict resolution, 143
connection
with authentic self, 78
as emotional intelligence, 33–36, 41, 75
of the four bodies, 76–78
as Indigenous worldview, 55

Lover archetype and, 97
with the natural world, 37, 140, 146
objective spirit and, 62, 65
relational, 48
and the right side of the brain, 47–49
council, internal. See internal world

COVID-19 pandemic, 54
creativity, 47, 54

Creator/Artist archetype, 96, 98
critical race theory, 67
cultural indoctrination, 51–52, 83, 110
curiosity, 133–134, 144–145, 147, 148

D
dance, 77
danger, physical response to, 22
da Vinci, Leonardo, 9
decision-making
bodily “no”/”yes”, 28–29
with both sides of the brain, 53
daily check-ins for, 76
via four-body alignment, 17–18, 80–82
depressive ideation, 151, 153
developmental stages, 106–109
digestion, 21, 34
diplomacy, 55
disconnection, 37–38
divine, the
authentic self as sacred, 130
religious belief and, 10–11
spirit and connection to, 12–13

DNA memory, 12, 24–26, 70, 89
dream wisdom, 69–71

E

Eagle Heart Foundation, 25

Earth, 13, 99
eating habits, 34
education
censorship in, 67–68
challenging authority in, 133–134
and internal narrative, 109
from the natural world, 79–80, 150
and parental approval, 87–88
religion in, 85

Western-centric, 79
elements, four, 13, 99
emotional body
care for, 40
challenges in listening to, 37–39
as considered “weak”, 37–38
dynamics of, 18
in four-body alignment, 76–78
honesty in/with, 38–39

Hózhǫ́ and changes in, 142–144
intangible/tangible aspects of, 12
intelligence of, 1, 33–43, 75, 80, 128–132
and internal/external balance, 34
internal narrative and response of, 122–123
intuition of, 35
journaling about, 43
language of, 37, 41
mental comprehension of, 50
and neuronets, 76
radiation/connection via, 33–36
visual depiction of, 9
emotional intelligence, 142–144

Emotional Intelligence (Goldman), 38, 142

The Empath’s Survival Guide: Life Strategies for Sensitive People (Orloff), 143
empathy, 35, 38, 39, 143
endorphins, 77, 78
energy
of the natural world, 36–37
radiation of, 33
reciprocal, 39
ethical living, 148

European culture, 52

Everyman archetype, 96, 98
exercise
of all four bodies, 8, 77, 78, 80–82
for heart intelligence, 40–42
for mental intelligence, 46
for physical intelligence, 28–30
for spiritual intelligence, 65, 71
expectations/assumptions, 93–94, 120
experience, lived
belief systems and, 11
and internal narrative, 105–109, 116–120
perception as colored by, 151
support for processing your, 116
taking stock of life, 108, 114

Explorer archetype, 96
external world
body language and response from, 141–142
and internal narrative, 82, 94–95, 105–112, 113
vs. listening to internal council, 139
perception of, 150–152
personal change and change of, 139, 152, 154
pushback from, 135

F
family structure, 39, 105, 106
fear
of differences, 53
of the unknown, 145
of vulnerability, 38
fight/flight/freeze/fawn, 22, 34
fighting spirit, 27

Fire, 13, 99
five senses, 40
formative years, 106–107
four bodies of existence
in balance, 9
and changing internal narrative, 128–133
cohesive alignment of, 14–15, 18, 76–78, 80–82, 140
connections between, 19
daily check-ins with, 75–76
daily journaling about, 16–17
decision-making by, 17–18, 147
defined, ix, 2
external direction of, 2
and the four elements, 13
as individually embodied, 7–8
intangible/tangible aspects of, 11–12
intelligence of, 1, 11–14, 17, 130–132, 153
interconnection of, 8–9
and internal narrative, 83, 115, 121–126, 128–132
nourishment of, 8
physical counterparts of, 61
re-membering the, 4
space/time navigation by, 8
understanding in, 64
visual depiction of all, 9

See also individual bodies by name
four elements, 13, 99
freedom, innate, 69
future, the, 49, 50, 54

G

Gemini, 100
gender roles, 84–85, 110, 114
generational differences, 111, 114

Generation Alpha, 112

Generation X, 111

Generation Z, 112

“Goldilocks and the Three Bears”, 106, 113

Goldman, Daniel, 142

Granddaughter Crow, ix, x, xi
guardian, the, xi, 135–136, 152
guidance, spiritual, 62–64
gut intelligence, 21–31, 121

H
happiness, xi, 149, 152

Hawthorne effect, 146
heart (emotions). See emotional body
heartbeat
connection with, 41
conscious regulation of, 34
as language of the heart, 37
in SNS response, 22, 34

HeartMath Institute, 33, 34

Hero archetype, 96, 97
hero’s journey, 97, 136–137, 139

The Hero and the Outlaw (Mark and Pearson), 95

Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), 143
history, writing of, 51
honesty, emotional, 38–39, 142

Hózhǫ́
acknowledging differences in, 55
changes via, 140, 150–152, 154
and cohesion of the four bodies, 14, 18, 153
daily check-in for, 75
defined, 2
emotional expression of, 142–144
external expression of, 140–149
via hearing internal council, 153
via integrating the four bodies, 76, 77
life of balance as, 8, 9
mental expression of, 144–147
physical expression of, 140–142
spiritual expression of, 147–149
human beings
developmental stages for, 106–109
internal narratives of, 150
in the natural world, 37
uniqueness of each, 67

I
identity
and beliefs, 68
bicultural, 15–16, 52–53, 55–58, 83–86, 110
factors that affect, x, 105–112
formative life stages and, 106–109
identifying parts of, 112–114
narrative roles in, 95–104
personal statements of, 121–126, 128–132
pride in personal, 88

See also authentic self; internal world
ideologies, 10
income, 109

Indigenous people
cultural desecration of, 2–3
cultural indoctrination of, 51–52, 58, 68
cultural reaffirmation for, 83
dance circles/powwows, 77–78
four bodies worldview of, 7
historic genocide of, 67
oral traditions of, 52
relational worldview of, 55
role of medicine people for, 56–57

See also Navajo culture
indoctrination, cultural, 37, 51, 68, 83, 85

Innocent archetype, 96
intelligence
in acknowledging differences, 55
brain/mental, 45–60, 81, 124
for crisis response, 54
daily check-ins with, 75–76
emotional/heart, 33–43, 80, 122–123, 142–144
five senses to tap into, 40
of the four bodies, 11–14, 75, 126
outsourcing our, 65–66
physical/gut, 21–31, 75, 80, 121
spiritual, 61–73, 81, 125
internal world
archetypal roles in, 95–98, 102–103
balanced with external, 34
bridge to external from, 82
changes to, 82–83, 90, 115, 126–137
conflicting narratives in, 16, 94
curiosity about, 134
daily check-ins with, 75–76
external effects of, 82, 94–95, 105–112, 116–120, 142, 150–152, 154
four bodies and narrative of, 121–126, 128–133
guardian and growth in, 135–136
how to listen to, 1, 15
identifying parts of, x, xi, 112–114
narrative roles in, 93, 95–104, 106, 127, 153–154
personal responsibility for, 91, 127
seeking council from, 1, 17
silencing of, 132–133
zodiac signs and, 99–102, 103–104
intuition, 35

J

Jester archetype, 96, 98
job/workforce roles, 108, 147
journaling
about internal narratives, 102–104, 112–114, 116–120
about past beliefs, 10
about the four bodies, 16–17, 19
for four-body alignment, 78, 80
on heart intelligence, 43
on physical/gut intelligence, 31
on spiritual intelligence, 73
journey, personal
to find balance/harmony, 1

Hero’s journey, 97
honest inspection of your, 4
journeying, 89
joy, 41, 42, 149, 152
judgement
about physical intelligence, 23
and the left side of the brain, 49

K

Kneller, Dr. James, 35
knowledge
growing our own, 66
and mental Hózhǫ́, 144
perception as colored by, 151
and personal archetypes, 96–98
of self, 142
shared wisdom, ix
of the spiritual body, 18, 62–64, 75

Koneya, Mele, 140

L
land formations, 36–37
language
of the emotional body, 37, 41
of the physical body, 26
speech and, 47, 49
left hemisphere of the brain, 47–54, 58–59, 145, 146

Leo, 100

Libra, 100–101
life
animism and universal, 148
as authentic self, 94
developmental stages in, 106–109

“going with the flow” of, 109
hero’s journey in, 136–137, 139
influences, x
mindset’s effects on, 93, 105, 150–152
personal perception of, 150–151
proactive approach to, 127
purposeful, 1, 90–91, 154
taking stock of, 108
truth of, 63
linear timeline, 8
logic, 47, 49, 54

Louder Than Words: Nonverbal Communication (Barbour and Koneya), 140
love
and connection with nature, 37
conscious radiation of, 42
heart connection with, 41
life effects of, 62
of self, 87–89, 144
worthiness for, 143–144

Lover archetype, 96, 97

M

Magician archetype, 96, 97
marginalized groups, 25, 51

Mark, Margaret, 95

The Master and His Emissary: The Divided Brain and the Making of the Western World (McGilchrist), 48, 50

McGilchrist, Dr. Iain, 48, 50–51
medicine people, 56–57, 79–80, 84, 89, 134, 140

Menakem, Resmaa, 24
mental body
challenges in listening to, 50–53
dynamics of, 18
in four-body alignment, 76–78

Hózhǫ́ and changes in, 144–147
imbalances in, 50–51
intangible/tangible aspects of, 12
intelligence of, 1, 45–60, 75, 81, 128–132
internal narrative and response of, 123–124
overriding of the physical by, 26–27
philosophy and, 10
reasoning/planning, 45–47
somatic integration for, 58–59, 71
trauma and, 22–23
visual depiction of, 9

Millennials, 112
mindfulness, 47, 48, 54, 77
mission in life, 90–91
muscle memory, 24
music, 77

My Grandmother’s Hands (Menakem), 24
mythology, 11

N
narrative, internal. See internal world

Native Americans. See Indigenous people
natural world
connection to, 140, 146
as conscious, 148, 150
direct education by, 79–80, 150
listening to, 36–37
wisdom of, 132

Navajo culture
in bicultural identity, 16, 52–53, 55, 57, 70, 84–89, 110
family structure in, 39

Hózhǫ́ in, 2
medicine people in, 56, 57, 69, 80, 84, 89
nonprofit support for, 25
oral traditions of, 52
pride in, 87–88
relational webs in, 55
traditional upbringing in, 2–3

U.S. destruction of, 3, 51, 68, 84
nervous system
in the brain/heart/gut, 33, 45
creating new neural pathways, 46
listening to, 26–27
neuronets in, 76
soothing/healing, 35, 40
sympathetic/parasympathetic, 21–22, 34
trauma in, 22
neuronets, 76
nonverbal communication, 140

O
objective spirit, 62, 65, 72, 148
observer effect, 146

The Only Astrology Book You Will Ever Need (Woolfolk), 99

Orloff, Dr. Judith, 143

Outlaw archetype, 96, 97

P
pandemic, global, 112
paradox, holding, 48
parasympathetic nervous system (PNS), 22, 34
past, the, 49
patriarchy, 110
peace, 41, 42, 91, 127

Pearson, Carol, 95
perception, 150–152, 154
personality types, 95–96

Peyote Way, 56, 79, 83
philosophy, 10, 63, 65, 66, 68, 149
physical body
challenges in listening to, 26–27, 31
conscious scans of, 121

DNA memory in, 24–26
dynamics of, 18
emotional cues in, 41, 142, 143
in four-body alignment, 76–78
honoring/listening to, 23–24, 26–30

Hózhǫ́ and changes in, 140–142
as “impure”/”sinful”, 23, 26
intangible/tangible aspects of, 12
intelligence of, 1, 21–31, 75, 80, 128–132
internal narrative and response of, 121–122
journaling about, 31
language of, 26, 140–142
linear timeline for, 8
mental comprehension of, 49
negative judgements on, 23
reflexes/survival in, 21–24
tuning in exercises for, 28–30
visual depiction of, 9
pilgrimages, 78

Pisces, 101–102
planning, 45–47, 75
poetry, 48
polarized societies, 55
powwows, 77–78
prejudice, 51, 52, 67, 86, 110
present-time focus, 47, 48, 54
pride in yourself, 87–89
purpose, 61–62, 64, 90–91, 127, 154

Q
questions, asking, 133–134

R
racism, 51, 52, 67, 110
radiance, 18, 33–36, 42, 75, 122
reason, 18, 45–47, 54, 75
reflexes, 18, 21, 24, 75
relationships
connection in, 48
emotional intelligence in, 142–143
exercises for understanding, 48

“expired”, 144
giving/receiving love in, 143–144
and internal narrative, 105–109
objective spirit and, 62
relational Indigenous worldview, 55
relationship management, 143
relaxation, 40
religion
and absolute spirit, 63, 65, 68, 149

Christian vs. Navajo, 83
in education, 85
limitations in, 66
vs. personal compass, 133
religious beliefs, 10
residential schools, 3, 25, 51, 68, 84
rest, 22, 34
right hemisphere of the brain, 47–51, 53–55, 58–59, 145–146
rites of passage, 135

Ruler archetype, 96, 98

S

Sage archetype, 96

Sagittarius, 101

Saturn Return, 108, 114

Scorpio, 101
self-actualization
as dynamic, not fixed, 5–6
emotional, 43
via four-body alignment, 82
and internal narrative, 95
mental, 60
physical, 31
spiritual, 73
self-awareness, 142
self-care, 40, 144
self-empowerment
defined, 5
emotional, 38, 43
via four-body alignment, 82
and internal narrative, 91, 95, 126
mental, 60
physical, 31
and pride, 87–88
via self-knowledge, 6
spiritual, 73
via wisdom of internal council, 126
self-knowledge
as authentic self, 4–5, 6
emotional, 43
via four-body alignment, 82
journaling for, 16–17
mental, 60
physical, 31
spiritual, 73
self-management, 142
self-regulation, internal, 34
senses, five, 29–30, 40
sensitivity, 142–144

Shakespeare, William, 82

Shamanism, 79–80, 140, 146

See also medicine people
shame, bodily, 26
siblings, 106

Silent Generation, 111, 112
singing, 59
slavery, 67
sleep habits, 34
social norms
about gender, 84–85

Christian/Western, 85
conditioning by, 51
vs. emotional intelligence, 38
society
acceptance in, 143–144
authentic voices in, 133
facing historic injustices in, 67–68

Indigenous cultural reaffirmation, 83
limiting forces in, 133–134
narrative roles in, 105–112
objective spirit and connection in, 62
social awareness, 143
socializing with others, 33
socioeconomic status, 109, 114
somatic integration, 59
soul, the
challenges in listening to, 65–68
connecting to intelligence of, 71
internal narrative and response of, 125
as the lifeforce within us, 61–62
purpose of, 64
vs. spirit, 12–13
spiritual body as, 61

See also spiritual body
space/time navigation, 8
spirit(s)

challenges in listening to, 65–68
of the land, 36
as the lifeforce within us, 61–62
purpose of, 64
soul vs. spirit, 12–13
three forms of, 62–63, 65, 71–72
spiritual body
beliefs in, 68
dynamics of, 18
as ever-expansive, 62, 63
in four-body alignment, 76–78

Hózhǫ́ and changes in, 147–149
intangible/tangible aspects of, 12
intelligence of, 1, 61–73, 75, 81, 128–132
internal narrative and response of, 125
journaling about, 73
knowledge/guidance by, 62–64
and purpose in life, 64
as the soul, 61
visual depiction of, 9
status quo, rebelling against, 133–134
strength(s)

assessing personal, 82
as hard won, 38
of heart intelligence, 39
via purpose in life, 91
spiritual, 131
of your personal voice, 115
subjective spirit, 62, 65, 72, 147
supernatural beings, 11
survival, 21, 73
sympathetic nervous system (SNS), 21–22, 34
synapses, new, 46

T

Taurus, 100
teaching, 66, 70, 79, 89, 140
technology, 112
teenage years, 107–108
tests, passing, 135
theology, 10, 11
thought, ingrained, 46
threshold of the unfamiliar, 135–136, 152
timeline, linear, 8
togetherness, 35
transplants, heart, 35–36
trauma
and co-dependence, 144

DNA memory of, 25–26
in the nervous system, 22
trust, of the physical body, 26
truth, 63, 65, 90

V
vagus nerve, 22

Vicente, Mark, 76
viewpoint, changing our, 46, 55

Virgo, 100
visions, journeying and, 89

Vitruvian Man, 9
vulnerability, 37–38

W

Water, 13, 99

Western mental systems, 51–52

Western zodiac, x, 82, 99–102

What the Bleep Do We Know!? (Arntz, Chasse, Vicente), 76
white cultural viewpoint, 53, 57–58
wholeness, 58

Wisdom of the Natural World (Granddaughter Crow), 67
women’s social norms, 84–85, 86

Woolfolk, Joanna Martine, 99
workforce roles, 108, 147
workplace norms, 38

Y

Yazzie, Jackson, 83

Z
zodiac, Western, x, 82, 99–102

About the Author

Granddaughter Crow (Dr. Joy Gray) is an author, speaker, and spiritual mentor. She walks with one foot in the modern world and one rooted in ancestral wisdom, and she helps others do the same.

A proud member of the Navajo Nation, she comes from a long line of spiritual leaders, raised in deep reverence for nature and spirit. In her work, she builds on that spiritual foundation with academic insight, leadership principles, and the raw truth of life experience.

She has been honored as a Who’s Who in America listee; as Woman of the Year by the National Association of Professional Women; and as a member of the Delta Mu Delta Honor Society.

But beyond all the credentials, what matters most to her is this: Helping you remember who you are.

About North Atlantic Books

North Atlantic Books (NAB) is an independent, nonprofit publisher committed to a bold exploration of the relationships between mind, body, spirit, and nature. Founded in 1974, NAB aims to nurture a holistic view of the arts, sciences, humanities, and healing. To make a donation or to learn more about our books, authors, events, and newsletter, please visit www.northatlanticbooks.com.