Forever Mason
Author: Heidi McLaughlin
Date: 2022-12-13 05:00:00+00:00
Keywords: Romance; High School; Contemporary
Description: The long-awaited prequel to Forever My Girl is here! Mason Powell. Best friend. Boyfriend. Husband. Father. He’s the young man you know but have never met. He’s the man who chose love over friendship. He’s the man who would do anything for his family and friends. He’s the man who stepped up when someone wasn’t there. He’s the man who has a story to tell. Be there when Mason tells his life story. Be there when Mason falls in love with Katelyn. Be there when Mason makes the fateful decision that ends his friendship with Liam Westbury. Be there when his life changes forever. Be there when...

Contents

The Beaumont Series

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

Chapter 33

Chapter 34

Chapter 35

Chapter 36

Chapter 37

Chapter 38

Chapter 39

Chapter 40

Chapter 41

Chapter 42

Chapter 43

Chapter 44

Chapter 45

Chapter 46

Epilogue

Forever My Girl

About the Author

Also by Heidi McLaughlin

FOREVER MASON

THE BEAUMONT SERIES

HEIDI MCLAUGHLIN

© 2021

The right of Heidi McLaughlin to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by her under the Copyright Amendment (Moral Rights) Act 2000. This work is copyright. Apart from any use as permitted under the Copyright Act 1968, no part may be reproduced, copied, scanned, stored in a retrieval system, recorded or transmitted, in any form or by any means, without prior written permission of the publisher. This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and events are either a product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual people, living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

COVER DESIGN: Sarah Hansen: OkayCreations.

EDITING: Edits by Amy / Briggs Consulting

Created with Vellum

For Trudy

Because without your tireless dedication—this story doesn’t get told.

The Beaumont Series

THE BEAUMONT SERIES READING ORDER

Prequels:

Forever Mason

Finding My Way

Forever My Girl

My Everything

My Unexpected Forever

Finding My Forever

12 Days of Forever

My Kind of Forever

Forever Our Boys

Holding Onto Forever

My Unexpected Love

Chasing My Forever

Peyton & Noah

Fighting For Our Forever

A Beaumont Family Christmas

Fourth Down

Prologue

I lay in bed, staring at Mason’s pillow. The normal indent from his head is gone, and his side of the bed is cold. So very cold. I close my eyes and take myself back to last Friday when I’m standing in the parking lot before the bus leaves. I can’t remember if the rain had stopped, but it was cold out. The girls and I made the two-hour trip to watch Beaumont play, but we left early because it was cold.

Everything in my life is cold.

I’m cold.

The house is cold.

Mason’s cold.

Cold.

Cold.

Cold.

Today’s going to be cold despite the town turning out to pay their respects to my husband, but it’s not going to be enough, not for me.

Elle screams, and something crashes against the wall. I stay in bed and let my mother deal with it. She’s been so absent in my life and thinks showing up after my husband has died will erase the years of mental abuse she’s inflicted on me. The twins don’t like her. They’re particular about who they want around them. Peyton only wants her daddy, but since he’s not here, she’ll settle for Noah. Elle doesn’t want anyone. She wants to be left alone so she can grieve in her own way. My mother doesn’t understand this. She doesn’t grasp the fact she’s not wanted. And still, I lay in bed because moving hurts. This is the only time when my thoughts can be my own, when I don’t have people coming up to me and telling me how sorry they are Mason died. People come to my car during drop-off and make the stupid roll-down your window motion so they can express how sad they are. Does their sadness compare to mine? No. It never will. I lost my husband, my life as I have known it since I was fifteen years old. My twins lost their father, and because of their age, they’ll have very few memories of him as they grow older. I lost my fucking best friend, and people want to tell me that they’re hurting as if their pain should be on my shoulders.

When glass shatters, I throw the covers back and sit up. The girls are throwing a fit, and this isn’t fair to them. They’re five, and they don’t understand a loss like this. Sure, they lost their grandma, but the grief is different when it’s your parent, your sidekick, your constant.

With slow, methodical movements, I get out of bed and make my way to the kitchen. My mom stands at the stove, ignoring the fits happening behind her. Elle lays on the floor, kicking her feet and pulling her hair, while Peyton’s in the corner, balled up and sucking her thumb.

“You need to leave,” I say to my mom without getting her attention. Elle quiets and sits up.

She turns slowly. “You’re up.”

“You need to leave.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me. Leave. I don’t want you here. The girls don’t want you here.”

“Katelyn—”

“Fucking leave!” I point to the door.

My mother nods and takes her apron off. She folds it into a small square and sets it on the counter. It pisses me off, and I stomp over to it and unfold it so I can hang it on the hook where it goes, where she took it from.

“If you need—”

“The only thing I need is my husband, and he’s gone. Please don’t act like you care.”

She says nothing as she disappears into the garage. I fall to the ground, and within seconds my girls—mine and Mason’s—are in my arms. I hold them while they clutch onto me, and we cry. We cry so damn much for what we have lost and can never ever get back.

This is where my father-in-law finds us an hour later. He doesn’t chastise me when he comes in and sees us sitting there, he doesn’t tell me I need to get up, and he doesn’t try to take the girls away from me. He sits down and wraps his arms around us, and cries with us. We are all he has left of his family. He’s lost his wife and now his son.

It’s Elle who reminds us that we have something important to do today. I hug my girls and father-in-law tighter, and then we start to disentangle ourselves. My dad, because that is what he is to me, restarts the breakfast my mother attempted to make. The girls head off to their room to get ready, and for once, they’re quiet. They’re not arguing.

In the bathroom, I stand there and wait for my curling iron to heat up. On Friday, Mason shaved and left his shaving cream on the counter. He used to do this all the time, and on Saturday morning, he would put it away. Except Saturday has come and gone, and it’s still there. A stark reminder he’s not coming back. Part of me wants to convince myself he’s on a road trip and will be home at the end of the week, but the other half of me wants to know what I’m going to do when he doesn’t walk through the door.

My movements are robotic. Pick a section of hair, wrap it around the barrel, wait and let it go. Spray and repeat. I don’t even know why I need to look good today. It’s not like I’m posing for pictures or will smile or give a shit about what people think of me. I lost my husband. He’s gone. He’s not coming back. I don’t get to see him again unless it’s a photograph or in my dreams. I don’t get to hold him or kiss him. I don’t get to wake up next to him or make love to him again. It’s all gone, and for no reason other than some guy’s brakes went out on this truck at the wrong time. And yet, I ask myself why Mason didn’t pull forward or turn? What was he doing that had his attention elsewhere? What could’ve been so important?

My hair is as good as it’s going to get. I put my simple black dress on—the same one I wore for my mother-in-law’s funeral—and put on a black hat with a small black veil. I stare in the mirror, looking like a widow . . . because that is what I am now.

When I come out of my bedroom, I find everyone sitting at the table, eating or pretending to. Elle wears the dress I picked out for her, while Peyton has on her football jersey. I’m not going to tell her to change because this is what she wants to wear, and it makes sense to me. It’s what Mason would have wanted.

“Are you hungry?” my father-in-law asks.

I shake my head.

“You need to eat, Katie.”

“I will later. We should go.”

They move away from the table, leave their food, and head to the garage. We get into the car and ride in silence to the church.

My girls sit in the front with their grandfather while I hide in the back, away from everyone, even my best friend. She means well, but today is not the day for me to see her tears when I can’t keep my own at bay.

Any moment now, the five pallbearers I chose to carry Mason’s coffin will enter the vestibule, and the finality of my life will be set. Last night, I sat with my husband after everyone left the wake and stared at the wooden box he’s going to rest in. It’s beautiful, made of mahogany, with silk linen inside. He’s wearing his suit, the one he wore for his mother’s funeral, and again when the high school hall of fame opened. It’s hard to believe that was only last month and now he’s gone. I know they did a tribute for him, but I have no intentions of seeing it. Inside, there are drawings and letters from the girls. I don’t know what they wrote him because those are their private thoughts, and they’re just for their father. Not for me.

His hands are folded across his chest, and under his hand is a picture of the four of us, taken recently. It was meant to be our Christmas card, but I’m not sending it to anyone. It’s ours, and ours alone. Tucked in his left front pocket is a picture of him and Liam from their happier times. It was my idea to put it in there because I know deep down, Mason would’ve forgiven Liam if he had come home. And inside his right pocket is a letter from Noah, along with a picture of the two of them. Best buds, forever—it’s what they’ll always be.

Before the funeral director sealed Mason’s coffin, I said my last goodbye. I said the three words he has said to me throughout our relationship, “I’ve got you.”

The fight song from high school plays. It’s corny and probably not appropriate for a funeral, but it’s Mason, and today is about him. I step out of the room and spot a man, tall, dark haired and built like a quarterback, scribbling into the guestbook. He doesn’t need to stand or turn around for me to know who it is.

“I didn’t think you’d show up.”

He freezes, sets the pen down, and turns. He’s here, and even though it’s ten years too late, I don’t even care because he’s here, for Mason.

“I have no excuses, Katelyn. I just came to pay my respects.”

“I don’t care—” I cut him off. I don’t care what he has to say because he’s here.

“I’ll go,” he says as he looks at the door. He studies it for a second and then looks at me. “I’m not here to ruin your day. I’m very sorry for your loss.” He steps toward the door, but I don’t let him leave.

“I’m a pallbearer short,” I tell him. “I was hoping you’d show up, maybe a bit earlier than five minutes before the ceremony, but whatever. I’m not going to judge you, Liam. But I am going to ask you to walk Mason toward his final resting place and be by his side until he’s safe again.”

He sheds tears for his friend, for me, and maybe for the things he’s missed.

“I’d be honored,” he chokes out. I nod and motion for him to follow me. We walk through a door, and everyone gasps. I make eye contact with Nick and then look away. If he’s upset, he’ll get over it. Today is not about him or the man behind me. It’s about my husband.

I clear my throat and look at the five men I asked to escort Mason. Aside from Nick, there’s Paul Baker, Mason’s co-worker, and two boys Mason has coached. I only chose five because in my heart, I knew Liam would return, and he has.

“He’d want you on his left,” I say to Liam. The boys adjust, and Liam takes his place at Mason’s side, where it all began.

One

I’m sweating like a pig. It’s hot as hell outside, and we just finished our first day of contact for spring football practice. Liam Westbury walks next to me as we head back toward the school. His head is down. I know he’s stewing over the passes he throws to everyone but me. We may be freshmen . . .  well, almost sophomores, but we’re the best, and everyone knows it. My dad says it’s because Liam and I have played together so much. I like to think it’s because we’re best friends and in tune with what the other is thinking. I get him, and he gets me. And I never want to let him down. He’s hard on himself, but his dad—who is a major dick—is harder. Anything I can do to make my buddy’s night at home easier, I’m going to do.

I bump him with my shoulder and motion for him to pick his head up. He gives some smirk and keeps his eyes focused on the ground.

“Tomorrow will be better. I promise.”

“How do you know?” he mumbles his question.

“Because,” I say with a shrug. Honestly, there isn’t much I can do except focus on myself. Liam throws the perfect spiral, and it’s up to the other guys to figure their shit out. It’s not like Liam can catch the ball for these guys too.

We walk into the hallway that leads to the locker rooms. I hear giggling and suspect it’s the cheerleaders hanging out. I elbow Liam and nod toward the noise, but he shakes his head. “Baseball,” he mumbles again. Liam is a two-sport varsity athlete, but football is his passion. He’s one of the starting pitchers, but this week has an exemption to come in late for practice because of spring football. Something his dad made sure would happen. According to Sterling Westbury, Liam will go pro someday. I don’t doubt it. For me, I just want to play in college—on scholarship if possible—and major in sports management and become Liam’s agent. If he’s going pro, I might as well be the one to manage his contracts. Besides, someone has to look out for him—someone who cares about him and not just his talent.

After I shower and change, I head out to the baseball field to wait for Liam. My mom doesn’t like that I wait for him, but it sucks walking home by yourself. Once I have my license, I’ll be able to drive anywhere.

When I get to the field, Liam is off to the side, going through his series of pitches. Last year, the team hired a pitching coach specifically to work with him. He threw so many no-hitters last year the baseball coach wanted to make sure his freshman ace would succeed. Liam has yet to lose a game this year.

I climb onto the bleachers until I reach the second from the top bench. I sit down, pull out my English book, and start reading the assigned chapters. This is the only way I can stay this late, by doing my homework. It’s my mom’s rule. I’m halfway through a boring scene in Romeo and Juliet when I hear giggling again. When I glance to my left, a group of cheerleaders are coming this way. As much as I want to focus on the words written by the very odd William Shakespeare, I can’t.

The girls—or should I say—women, because most of them are upper class students, all sit on the bottom bench. They’re cheering for the guys. I know a couple of the cheerleaders, but not all. A couple of them are in my and Liam’s grade: Candy Appleton, Katelyn Cohen, and Josie Preston. They’re the only freshmen to make the varsity team.

Katelyn looks over her shoulder and gives me a soft smile. I return the gesture and try to focus on my book, but it’s no use. The seniors in the group are calling out to Liam, telling him he looks good in his baseball pants. It’s no secret there’s a group of girls in school that have a thing for him. Most of them are juniors and seniors, with a few sophomores mixed in. The thing is, not even one of these girls will catch his eye. Sterling will never allow Liam to have a girlfriend—too much of a distraction. He must focus on football, staying in shape, and being the best in the state.

When practice is over, one of the senior cheerleaders stands and heads for Liam. I watch as she flirts with him, touching his arm and moving his hair out of his face.

“Lucky bastard,” I mumble aloud, but under my breath this time. As I approach them, his eyes are wide, and he tells her goodbye. “Hot date?” I ask.

“No, I don’t even know her name.”

“Sarah, I think.”

Liam shrugs and, once again, keeps his eyes focused on the ground, missing the action in front of us. The cheerleaders run past us, each of them kicking up their heels to make sure their skirt flaps in the wind. I elbow Liam, but he doesn’t look up.

“Do you know her?” I ask.

He finally raises his head. “I told you I don’t.”

“No, not the one talking to you earlier. That one.” I point to Katelyn.

He shrugs. “Not really. She’s in my history class. I think she came from Kelly.”

Kelly Junior High and Madison Junior High make up the four grades at Beaumont High. Liam and I went to Madison and have been friends for as long as I can remember. We met during pee wee football. The first time he threw the ball, I caught it, and he thanked me. We’ve been inseparable since.

“Makes sense. She’s cute.”

“Yeah,” he says.

“Her friend is too.”

“Didn’t notice.”

“Maybe I’ll talk to her tomorrow. What class period is history?”

“Fourth.”

“Nice, right before lunch.”

He nods in agreement.

Two

“Why are you looking so handsome today?” my mom asks when I come into the kitchen. A glass of orange juice sits on the counter, which she poured for me. I don’t like breakfast, but she insists I eat something other than a candy bar or donut. If Liam spends the night, she makes us a big spread because she knows his mom doesn’t cook.

“I’m handsome every day.” I wink.

She slaps me with the hand towel she had resting on her shoulder. “You know what I mean. Is there an assembly or something?”

I shake my head. “No, ma’am. We had our final one last week. Don’t you remember? I won the student of the year for gym.”

Mom looks at me oddly for a moment and then goes back to doing the dishes. I tease her all the time about her being forgetful, but sometimes it scares me. It makes me wonder if she’s sick or if there is something else wrong with her.

“I have practice after school, and then I’m walking Liam home.”

“I don’t know why you do that,” she says. My parents love Liam but feel like I put more into our friendship than he does. I’m not supposed to know this, but I’ve heard my folks talking when they think I’m in bed. I also know they don’t like his parents. Not many of us do. Mom and Dad feel like Liam asks me to do stuff for him when that couldn’t be farther from the truth. Liam will never, and has never, asked me for anything. Sometimes, I wish he would, but he’s so damn private about everything. I invite him over here all the time. As long as he doesn’t have practice, a clinic, or some camp to attend, he’s allowed to come over. I have only been to his house a few times in our lifelong friendship. It was odd and uncomfortable. His house is nicer than mine, but his dad is beyond strict, and his mother is out to lunch.

“Because he’s my friend.” I put my glass into the sink and kiss my mom on her cheek. “See you later.” I grab my backpack and football bag and leave before she can say anything else. My truck sits in the driveway. I can’t drive it yet, but soon. Before the end of the summer, I’ll have my driver’s license. As soon as school is out, I’m going to work at Willy’s washing cars.

I walk toward Liam’s. His place is about six blocks out of the way, but I don’t care. If he leaves ten minutes before me, we usually meet about halfway and finish the walk together. Two upperclassmen drive by. Some honk, while others ask if I want a ride. Each time, I tell them no. Liam isn’t allowed to ride in anyone’s car without permission, and I don’t want to leave him to walk by himself.

I beat Liam to our meeting place and look down the street, waiting for him to come into view. As soon as I see him, I go toward him and relieve him of one of his bags. “You don’t have to,” he says quietly.

“I know.” I set our bags down and put my arm through the loopholes so I can heave them over my shoulder. “Just think, in the fall, I’ll drive us to school.”

Liam tries to smile, but it looks more like a grimace. I bet he’s afraid his dad won’t allow him to drive with me. I hope, by the fall, Liam tells his father to take a flying leap. Sterling is such a dick to Liam. His mother isn’t much better.

“Do you have a game tomorrow?” I ask him.

“Yes, at noon. I’m pitching.”

“Well, I’ll be there. Maybe Coach will let me sit in the dugout.”

Liam smiles. “Yeah, maybe.”

We don’t say much on the way to school. Liam keeps his head down most of the time. When we reach the school, I elbow him when I see Katelyn. “Fourth period, right?” I nod in her direction.

He stops and looks. “Is she the reason you dressed up?”

I scoff. “My mom said the same thing. What’s wrong with a guy wearing a nice pair of shorts and shirt?”

“Nothing. I hope you brought a change of clothes to walk home in unless you plan to put those back on while you’re sweaty.” Liam walks toward the door, leaving me there.

“Okay, now you sound like my mother,” I say as I try to catch up with him and keep my eyes on Katelyn and her posse. Damn, she’s cute.

Liam and I head into the locker room to store our bags for later. There is no way both his bags and my football bag will fit into our locker. I swear, the school thinks we don’t have books or binders to deal with on top of sports equipment, and they give us the smallest space to share. Before Liam’s dad called the school, we used to have to carry our bags around or ask our non-sports friends if we could store our stuff in their lockers for the day. One call from Sterling and Liam had a designated locker in the boy’s locker room. Of course, this pissed off every other athlete and put a target on Liam’s back.

Not that he didn’t have one when he started high school. The former quarterback knew he would have to fight to keep his starting job. Liam is just that good, and when I’m on his left, we’re unstoppable.

We walk toward our first-period class. Only we don’t have class together. He goes to math, while I go to English. Liam’s much more intelligent than I am, or so his class schedule says. I’m okay with it. I’ve seen his homework load, and I wouldn’t want that every night.

Three

I watch the clock like a hawk. The minute hand moves incredibly slow. My leg bounces when the long spindle reaches the five-minute mark, and then it’s four, and then three. My heart does this weird seizing thing I can’t really describe, and it feels like my throat is tightening up. It reminds me of the time I tried out for the wrestling team back in eighth grade. What an embarrassment that was. First, I had to wear that . . . thing. It went so far up my butt I picked my imaginary wedgie for a week. Second, I had to try out against this behemoth of a kid. He didn’t even go to my school and was some elite wrestler from across the county line. He came to Madison for a try-out, and the coach thought it would be funny to pair us together. I think I was the only one not laughing—or breathing, for that matter—when the kid put his forearm on my neck and tried to kill me. Needless to say, wrestling was not and still isn’t a sport I enjoy.

I’m out of my seat one minute before the bell rings. I open the door so hard and fast that the knob slips from my hand and slams into the wall. “Sorry, Mrs. Baker!” I yell as I book it down the hall. I know I will get into trouble for ditching class early, but I think the principal will understand when I say it was for love. My mother, however, will not. I’m hoping no one has to find out about my early escape. Maybe if I get called into the principal’s office I’ll tell him I had to take a leak and didn’t want to wait in line. That always seems to work for the girls in class.

By the time I reach the classroom where Liam has history, I’m out of breath. I shouldn’t be, considering I’m a high-caliber athlete—coach’s words—not mine, but my heart is racing. It feels like it’s in my throat, trying to escape through my mouth and blocking my airway. I stand near the door, trying to catch my breath while I wait for the bell to ring. I do not know what I’m going to say to Katelyn. I have all these thoughts running through my head. I know I have to be smooth because she’s gorgeous and probably has all the upperclassmen chasing after her. This is my one shot at making a good impression on her.

The bell rings, and all the doors in the hall open. Kids file into the hallway, and a couple of the ones coming out of the history class bump my shoulder as they pass by. Chatter fills the surrounding space. Someone says my name in passing, but I keep my attention on the door. I don’t want to miss Katelyn coming out.

I rock back on my heels and almost fall over when Katelyn appears in the doorway. Her head is down, and she holds her books to her chest. “Hey,” I say as I catch myself against the wall. My shoulder bumps the off-white painted cinder block. I use the momentum to right myself.

Katelyn watches every second of my newly found clumsiness with wide eyes. “Are you—”

“Hi.”

We speak at the same time, and both smile when we realize what we’ve done.

“You go first,” I say to her.

“I just wanted to know if your shoulder is okay?”

I look at my shoulder. It’s not sore, but I roll it anyway to put on a good show. “Yeah, it’ll be okay.”

“Good.” She tilts her head and smiles.

Damn, she’s freaking beautiful.

“Can I sit with you at lunch?” I blurt my question out before I realize the order of my words are wrong. I always sit with Liam, and I meant to ask Katelyn if she wanted to sit with us. Not the other way around, but by the look on her face and the gleam in her eye, she wants me to sit with her. I can’t take my words back now.

Liam appears in the doorway. “You ready?” he asks.

Shit, think fast.

“Yeah, we’re going to sit with Katelyn and her friends today.”

Liam looks from me to Katelyn, and then back at me. He drops his head and says, “No thanks,” as he walks between us and into the crowd of students heading to lunch or to their next class. Katelyn watches him and then drops her head.

“Liam’s shy,” I tell her.

“Yeah, he only talks in class when he’s called on.”

I nod toward the cafeteria. “We should go, or we won’t have much time to eat.”

“I just need to stop at my locker.”

Katelyn and I walk next to each other until we reach her locker. Her cheer friends are all standing around chatting. “Mason is sitting at our table today,” she tells the group.

“Oh yeah, is your hot best friend going to sit with us?” one of cheerleaders asks as she steps forward. I swallow hard, not because I find her attractive, but because she scares me.

“No.” My voice squeaks a bit. I clear my throat, but there still feels like there’s a lump in there. Katelyn slams her locker shut and I jump, tearing my gaze away from the girl in front of me.

“Ready?” Katelyn asks. I like how forceful she is. Most of us cower to the upperclassmen, but not her. I fully expect to walk next to Katelyn, but Josie is there. They link arms and leave me to follow behind them.

As soon as we step into the cafeteria, I scan the space for Liam. I don’t think he’d skip lunch, but with him, you never know. After Josie, Katelyn, and I get our lunch, we head toward the table full of cheerleaders. That’s when I spot Liam, sitting there by himself. Not with the baseball team or the guys from our football team.

Katelyn nudges me to get my attention. She motions to the open seat next to her and then turns her gaze toward Liam. “Oh.” Katelyn stands, as does Josie, and they walk to Liam’s table. I don’t know why I don’t follow but I stand there, watching as the girl I think is cute and her best friend go sit down to eat lunch with my best friend.

Four

I slide into the backseat of my parent’s car. We’re on our way to Liam’s game. I planned to go by myself, but my parents feel sorry for Liam and want to be there to support him. Of course, the first time Sterling says something ridiculous, my mom will complain to my dad about how someone needs to take Sterling Westbury down a peg. Whatever that means.

When we arrive at the field, Mom and I head to the concession stand. I love concession stand hotdogs and need about five of them to start my afternoon off right. I’m standing next to my mom, waiting to order, when I see Katelyn and her band of cheerleaders heading toward the bleachers. I stare at Katelyn, hoping she’ll look in my direction. But she never does, and now she can’t see me.

“Who is that?” my mom asks.

“Huh?” I play stupid.

“The girl. Which one do you like?”

Mom and I move up a step. Three more people, and then it’s our turn. Right about now, I’d give anything to be at the counter right now, ordering. Then maybe my mom will change the subject.

“Mason.”

“Ugh, why do you always notice things?” I ask her.

“I’m your mother. It’s my job. So, which one?”

I hesitate for a moment before spilling the beans. There really is no way for me to get out of this. If I hadn’t watched Katelyn until I couldn’t see her anymore, my mom would’ve never caught on.

“Katelyn Cohen.”

“Is she older than you?”

I shake my head. “No, ma’am. We’re in the same grade. She went to Kelly.”

Mom nods in understanding.

We finally step up to the counter, and I place my order for five hot dogs. Mom gives me a side-eye, but I don’t back down. I don’t judge her for ordering coffee at a baseball game—when it’s hot outside.

I carry most of the stuff we ordered to the bleachers. My dad stands and climbs down to help my mom. Personally, I don’t think my mom needs help, but dad does it anyway. He told me one time he does whatever he can to hold my mom’s hand. I don’t get it, but whatever.

As soon as I sit down, I unwrap one of the dogs and stuff it into my mouth. I’m mid-chew when I hear my mom say, “Mason likes one of those girls over there.” Mom points, and to make matters worse, Katelyn turns and looks. She starts to wave but drops her hand. I don’t even have to ask why—it’s because there’s a damn hot dog hanging out of my mouth.

“Thanks a lot, Mom,” I say, only I mumble my words because I have a mouth full of food.

“That’ll teach you to take bites and not shovel your food.” Mom is a real firecracker today. She doesn’t even look at me when she stabs me in the heart. “Let’s go, Liam!”

I glance to the field and see Liam standing on the pitching mound. He goes through his warm-up, throwing five pitches, and on the last one, he ducks down so Brian Mitchell can throw the ball to second. Scott Mann, our second baseman, pretends to tag the runner before tossing the ball around the horn.

“Let’s go, Beaumont,” I yell as the batter steps up to the plate. I look to the right, and Liam’s dad is standing behind home plate with his arms crossed. He looks pissed, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen the man smile.

“Why does he even come?” I hear my mom ask my dad. “He just scares the boy to death.”

“I don’t know,” my dad says. He pats her leg and then claps his hands. “You got this, Liam! Find your target and focus.”

Liam throws the first pitch—strike. Same with the second, and the batter goes down swinging. The same happens with the next two batters. Everyone in the stands cheers, except Bianca. She’s sitting on the first bench with her sunglasses on. If I had to guess, I’d say she’s sleeping.

Liam is the third one to bat. There’s a guy on second when Liam steps up to the plate. Sterling barks out, “You know what to do.”

Well, duh. There are times when I want to ask Sterling if he ever plans to remove the rod from his ass, but I’d probably get into some sort of trouble for disrespecting an adult. Not that Sterling qualifies as one. Liam swings and connects with the ball. He hits a line drive down the third baseline, which easily scores a run. After he stops at third, his father barks out, “You should’ve run home!” As if Liam is supposed to ignore his coach.

“Four more years of listening to him,” Mom says.

We’re at the top of the third when Katelyn waves at me again. I’ve finished my pile of hotdogs, and I don’t have anything hanging out of my mouth. I get up and head toward her, not bothering to look back at my mom. I bet she’s giving me another one of those looks.

“Hey,” I say when I reach Katelyn and her friends. “I haven’t seen you here before.”

“After lunch yesterday, Josie and I thought we’d come to watch.”

I nod toward Josie and say, “Hey.”

Josie waves and then turns her attention toward the game.

“It was really nice of you to sit with Liam yesterday.”

“It seemed stupid for him to eat alone. I don’t get it,” Katelyn says.

“Get what?”

“He’s so popular. All the girls talk about him and how cute he is, but he doesn’t talk to anyone except you. Why is that?”

I nod toward Sterling. “His dad is a real ass. Liam only talks to me because I make him. We’ve been friends for as long as I can remember, and if his dad had his way about things, Liam wouldn’t have any friends. I force myself into his life so he has someone because otherwise, he has no one.”

“That’s so sad,” Josie says.

“He’s my best friend. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for him.”

“That’s sweet of you, Mason.” Katelyn’s fingers brush against my leg. I’m sure the act of her touching my thigh is innocent, but in my mind—she wants me.

“What are you girls doing after the game?”

“Nothing, why?” Katelyn asks.

“What do you think about getting some pizza with Liam and me?”

Josie’s eyes light up, and she nods.

“Yeah, we can do that.” Katelyn nudges Josie, and they giggle.

I stay with the girls until the end of the game. We win, of course, not that anyone expected us to lose with Liam on the mound. He’s some sports prodigy or something. When he comes out of the dugout, I run up to him. I need to talk to him before his dad does.

“Hey, man. Good game.”

“Thanks.”

“Listen, you know the girls from lunch? They want to grab pizza with us.”

Liam looks up and makes eye contact with his dad and then me. “My dad—”

“Screw him, Liam. He’s just going to tell you everything you did wrong and not praise you for all the crap you did right. You threw a no-hitter and had three RBIs. If Sterling can’t see you’re amazing, he doesn’t deserve to be in your presence. Someday, I’m going to kick his ass.”

Liam chuckled. “Me too.”

“So, are you going to come with us? I think Katelyn’s friend likes you.”

Liam smirks. “Let me go talk to him. If he says no, I’ll sneak out.”

I clap Liam on the back. “That’s my boy!”

Five

My mom was kind enough to drop Katelyn, Josie, and me off at the pizza parlor. Of course, Sterling “I’m a dick” Westbury told Liam he couldn’t go with us. The worst part, Liam couldn’t even come over and tell us because Sterling dragged him to the car. I hate Liam’s dad and I know Liam hates him as well. My parents are strict with a curfew, homework, and all that crap, but Sterling takes things to a whole other level. It’s like he’s trying to live his failed dreams through his son, and I don’t think that’s right. Sometimes I hear my parents talking about Liam’s parents. His mother acts strange most of the time. Liam says she’s like a robot, does whatever his father tells her to do, and never speaks up for herself. I wish Liam could come live with me, but that’ll never happen.

The girls and I pick a high-top table near the window and climb onto the barstools. Well, Katelyn has to climb because she’s short, at least compared to Josie and me.

“Josie, do you play basketball?” I ask her. She’s tall, probably one of the tallest girls in school.

“No, just cheer,” she tells me. “I played one year in elementary school, but I didn’t like it much.”

“How’d you get into cheerleading?”

“From Katelyn.”

I glance over at her and she’s beaming. She’s proud of herself for getting her friend into something she likes. “Personally, I can’t wait for you girls to cheer for Liam and me during the football season.” The girls giggle, and I like it. Katelyn is damn cute when she smiles. Her hair is dark, like mine, but she’s petite. I think I can probably bench press her if I try. That would be fun to find out.

“We’re excited, that’s for sure,” Katelyn says. “My dad says you guys are going to win state again. He says that Liam is the real deal and will be pro someday.”

“Yeah, he will. He’s a perfectionist and works hard.” It’s easy to talk about my best friend like this.

“What’s his issue though?” Josie asks. “He’s so shy at school and didn’t even come with us.”

I sigh heavily and reach for the menu. I love talking about Liam when it comes to sports, but his family life—that’s a hard thing to talk about. Liam hates when people ask, and I really don’t want to betray his trust.

“What kind of pizza do you like?” I think that, maybe, if I change the subject, Josie will let it go.

“Pepperoni,” Katelyn says.

While Josie says, “Cheese.”

“So, we’ll order two.” I go to the counter and place the order. My mom was kind enough to slip me some money so I could treat them tonight. I think I’m going to have to work more in the off season because I’m going to have to put gas in the truck if I plan to drive it a lot. Plus, I like Katelyn and would like to take her out on a date.

When I get back to the table, the girls sit upright. Their heads were together, likely talking in some secretive girl code. It’s cool, as long as they were talking about me. I laugh at my joke, and they stare at me in confusion. “Sorry, I made a joke in my head.”

“Tell us,” Josie prompts.

“Nah.” I shake my head. “It’s one of those you had to be there for types, and honestly, pretty lame.” I sit back down just as our drinks arrive. “I ordered root beer. I hope you like it.”

“Everyone loves root beer with their pizza. It’s like a staple,” Katelyn says as she puts her straw into her already filled cup.

“You ignored me about Liam.”

I look across the small table at Josie and I’m met with very expectant eyes. After balling up the wrapper for my straw, I toss it down onto the table. “It’s really Liam’s story to tell. He’s my best friend, so I don’t want to say something he might not want others to know, but his dad . . .” I pause and shrug. “He’s just really strict.”

“Oh,” Josie says. “Does he have a girlfriend?”

“Nope and he’s not allowed to date,” I tell her. Josie’s face falls. “Like I said, strict.”

Katelyn reaches for her friend’s hand and gives it a squeeze. I feel like such an ass, but I don’t want Liam’s inability to hang out to be a determining factor for whether Katelyn hangs out with me.

I happen to glance up and notice Liam approaching us. “What the—” I say when he gets to the table. He grips my hand and gives me a bro hug. “Snuck out, huh?”

“Yep. Bianca is asleep and Sterling went back to the office,” he says as he takes the empty seat.

“What’s the office’s name this month?” Liam has often thought his dad is having an affair—well, multiple affairs—but can never catch him. Even if he did, Liam’s mom wouldn’t do anything about it.

“I haven’t named this one yet.”

“I’m sorry,” Josie says. “That must be tough.”

Liam looks up and stares at Josie. She smiles. He smiles. And then the trance is over. I chuckle and slap him on the back. He has so many girls chasing him for a piece of tail, he could have anyone he wants. Yet, no one has had any luck landing him. Probably because of his father and Liam’s fear of breaking the rules. Usually, when Sterling goes to the office at night, he’s not back until around ten or so, which gives Liam plenty of time to eat pizza and walk these girls home.

The pizzas arrive. Liam and I wait for the girls to grab their slices first before we take ours. He taps my leg and I look down to see him handing me some money. I take it because if I don’t, he’ll be upset with me and that’s the last thing I want.

“Liam, you don’t have a drink. I’ll go get you one.” Josie is off the stool before anyone can say anything.

“I think she likes you,” I mutter to Liam.

“She does,” Katelyn confirms. I feel the heat rise in my cheeks and know I’m blushing. I guess I wasn’t as quiet as I thought I was.

“I guess I’m not as smooth as I thought I was.”

Liam and Katelyn laugh. Great!

Josie returns with a glass filled with soda for Liam. “It’s root beer. That’s what we’re all drinking.”

“Thank you,” he says as he stares at her. “You didn’t have to do this, but I appreciate it.”

“It’s my pleasure.”

“Liam, I was telling Mason earlier that my dad says you’ll go pro if you keep it up. He said it’s very rare for a freshman to lead a team to a state title.”

“Three more to go.” I stick my hand up and Liam high-fives me.

“That’s the plan,” Liam says. “Four years of college and the number one draft pick.”

If his father has anything to say about it.

“What college?” Josie asks.

Liam shrugs. “It’s too early to know or decide. But I want to go far away.”

Because of his dad.

“Liam and I are going to go to school together. We’re a dynamic duo!” I bump his shoulder with mine, and he smiles. “Seriously though, the schools are already after him. Not only for football but baseball as well.”

“Could you do both?” Josie asks.

Liam nods. “It’s not common but can happen.”

For a few minutes, we eat in silence. A few of our classmates come in. They say hi to us or the girls, but it’s when a couple of the older cheerleaders walk over to our table that Liam clams up. I know it’s not clear that we’re on dates—at least that is what I’m calling this—but those girls don’t seem to care. They have one thing on their mind when it comes to him. He knows it too but doesn’t want to give them the time of day. Sterling would kill Liam if he ruined his chance at college.

One girl doesn’t take a hint though and has situated herself between Liam and Josie. The look on Josie’s face is priceless and I think she’s rolled her eyes so many times, they’re going to be stuck in permanent rotation. Liam’s head is down, and he picks at his pizza, not saying much in response to the gibberish coming out of her mouth.

“So, what do you say?” she asks as she pets him. Who in the hell pets people these days?

“About what?” he mumbles.

She leans down onto the table, making sure anyone looking can see what she’s trying to offer him. “My house, tomorrow night. My parents will be at the club with your parents. We can study.”

“Clarissa, we’re on a date. If that isn’t clear enough for you,” Josie spits out. Liam’s head pops up, and Katelyn and I chuckle.

“Seriously, a freshman when you can have a senior?” She takes a piece of pepperoni and sticks it in her mouth. “Let me know when you want a woman who knows her way around . . .” she looks down at his crotch and gives him a wink. “You know where to find me.”

“What the actual—?” I shake my head instead of finishing my thought.

“She’s a bitch,” Josie says. “She’s like a doorknob, everyone takes a turn.”

Katelyn gasps. “Josephine Preston!”

“What?” she asks, shrugging. “I’m not saying anything that isn’t true. Most of the guys have lost their virginity to her. She doesn’t care what people say about her.”

“Being sexually active isn’t a bad thing,” Katelyn says. “My mom says everyone should sow their oats before settling down. You just have to be careful and use protection. Do you really want the same partner your whole life?”

“Yes,” I say, speaking up. “I do.” Katelyn blushes, and I realize I’ve embarrassed her. “I’m sorry,” I say to her. “I don’t know. I guess I’m old-fashioned in that sense. I think men should pay for dates, open doors, and carry things. I hope that when I finally do the deed, it’s with someone I’m in love with, and she loves me, and isn’t just messing around to get laid.” It hits me I’ve admitted I’m a fifteen-year-old virgin, which is pretty common, but boys don’t like to admit it.

“What about you, Liam?”

Liam takes a second to answer. “People like Clarissa scare me.”

The three of us laugh, but it’s short-lived because the hulking form known as Sterling Westbury is marching toward us. “Sorry,” I mutter to Liam as he meets his dad’s gaze.

Sterling doesn’t say a single word but goes to Liam and yanks him off the stool by the collar of his shirt. Liam doesn’t fight back, and it pisses me off.

“You’re such a fucking dick,” I say loud enough for Sterling to hear. Immediately I know I’ve made a mistake.

“You are to have nothing to do with any of these people. They’re beneath you, Liam.” Sterling pushes his son toward the door while everyone watches. Everyone will talk about today, but no one will do anything about it. Sterling is a powerful man in town, and no one ever wants to cross him.

Sterling makes it a point to march his dejected son in front of the window for everyone to see. Liam and I make eye contact briefly and then Liam looks away. He’s embarrassed, and I added fuel to the fire with my outburst. Truth is, there isn’t anything I could’ve said or done, aside from keeping my mouth shut, to diffuse the situation.

“Guess the office was closed for the night,” Katelyn chimes in. I want to laugh because what she’s said is funny, but my heart aches for my friend.

The outing is pretty much ruined. I walk the girls home, first Josie and then Katelyn, and then head home. My dad is sitting on the porch swing, rocking back and forth when I climb the stairs. “Hey.”

“Tough night?”

I nod.

“Next time you want to call someone out, please don’t let it be Sterling Westbury. There are a lot of things I hate in my life, but none more than that man. To listen to him berate you and not be able to defend you since he’s on the board at work twisted me up. If I didn’t need my job, I would’ve told him where to go and then called the cops and reported him for child abuse.”

“I’m sorry, Dad.”

My dad pats the spot next to him and I sit down. He continues to move his leg back and forth, pushing the swing. “Until Liam asks for help, there isn’t much we can do. We know his father is a jerk, but as far as I can tell, he’s not beating Liam. The minute you, your mom, or I see a bruise, we’ll step in. But until then, you need to keep quiet.”

“I think I made things worse for Liam.”

“I have a feeling you did. You’ll have to talk to him tomorrow at school because you’re not allowed to call their house anymore.”

My heart sinks. “But he’s my best friend.”

“Not according to Sterling. You’re to stay away from his son.”

“Dad!”

He shakes his head. “It’s almost summer. Things will blow over.” Dad stands and disappears into the house, which I’m thankful for because I don’t want him to see me cry.

Six

When I come downstairs, my mom looks at me with sad eyes. She knows I didn’t sleep well. I think I must’ve gotten up three or four times during the night to use the bathroom, even though I didn’t really have to go. It feels like Liam and I have broken up, and it’s all my fault. My heart feels so heavy in my chest that it hurts to breathe. I should’ve never said what I did to his father last night. Liam has a tough enough time at home, and he doesn’t need me making things worse for him. I’m his friend. He should be able to trust me to keep my mouth shut until the time is right. Unfortunately, the moment felt right because we were having a good time and I didn’t want it to end.

My mom sets my breakfast out and tells me to eat. I don’t feel like it, but know I need my energy to make it through the day. I drink the orange juice and pick at my toast.

“It’s going to be okay,” mom says as she runs her hand over my back. “You’ll talk about it today and everything will be fine.”

I drop the slice of toast back onto the plate and sit upright. I’m frustrated and sad. I tried to call him last night, but of course, Sterling answered each time. I thought about ordering a pizza and having it sent over there with the pepperoni slices spelling out, “I’m sorry,” but I didn’t want the delivery driver to get into trouble.

“We all see the way he treats Liam. We all watch, and we all hate that we can’t do anything about it. You just need to be there for him. Be his friend. His shoulder to cry on. Listen to what he has to say. I’m sure Liam appreciates that you told his father off, and while it’s wholly inappropriate for you to speak like that to adults, I probably would’ve done the same thing.”

“I’m so happy you’re not like his mom. It’s like she doesn’t even care about him.”

Mom takes a drink of her coffee and waits until the liquid has settled before speaking. “There isn’t a doubt in my mind that she loves her son, but with a controlling piece of . . .” Mom pauses and collects her thoughts. “I’m sure he treats Bianca the same as he does Liam. I don’t know any mother in their right mind who would allow their son to be treated the way Liam is.”

“Know what’s funny?”

“Nothing,” Mom says.

“You never say his name.”

“That’s because he doesn’t deserve to have one, in my opinion.” Mom gets up from the table and goes to the sink. “Have you thought about what you want to do for your birthday?”

“Nah, not really. Have a few people over, maybe?”

“All right. I’ll get a cake ordered and ask my knitting club what sixteen-year-old boys like to do these days.”

Great, a knitting club full of old ladies is going to decide my birthday.

“Maybe cupcakes. Something we can grab and eat outside.” I take my plate over to the sink and she takes it from me. I lean down and kiss her cheek. “I’m really thankful to have you as my mom.”

She nods, and I suspect tears up. I heard her and my dad talking about Liam last night and know they’re both concerned. “Have a good day, Mason. And remember, be the friend he needs right now.”

“I know, Mom. I need to apologize too.”

She turns and makes eye contact with me. “He’ll appreciate that.”

I sure hope so.

Any other day, I’d walk to meet Liam, but today I run. I want to beat him to our meeting spot, so he knows I didn’t give up on him. As always, upperclassmen drive by, asking if I need a ride and I decline. I’d rather walk next to my best friend than see him walk alone.

When I see Liam coming down the street, I go to meet him. I’m excited to see him, even though he’s not making eye contact with me. “Hey, man,” I say when we’re next to each other. I go to take one of his bags, but he won’t let it go.

“I got it.”

His words sting and I know they’re because of what I did last night.

“I’m really sorry, Liam. For what I said to your dad.”

“It’s fine,” he mumbles. He keeps his head bent toward the ground and refuses to make eye contact with me. When I see him like this, I want to go pound his father into the ground.

“Will you get into trouble if your dad drives by and sees you walking with me?”

“Probably,” he says quietly.

I pause and let him walk a few steps ahead. It’s probably a good thing he can’t see me right now because if he looks at me, I’d likely start crying. I did this to my friend and there isn’t anything I can do to fix it.

We arrive at school, with me lagging behind Liam. Katelyn and Josie are standing near the entrance, and I’d like to think they were waiting for us. They look at Liam and then look at me, both frowning. I shrug and motion toward the school. I don’t want either of them asking Liam anything, although it’s unlikely he’d even answer them at this point.

At our lockers, the girls linger by me as Liam puts his things away. He works to stuff his baseball bag into the tiny space, but it won’t fit. I rip it from his hands because if I offer my locker up or suggest it, he’s going to tell me no. He’s used my locker for the past week since we’ve had spring practice and he’s had baseball. He doesn’t have to stop now.

“I can make it fit,” he says, keeping his eyes on the nothingness that is his locker. I’ve decorated mine with stupid college stickers and my favorite athletes. His has nothing.

“You can’t and you know it. It’s been in here all week. I’ll bring it to practice.” With that, I put his bag in, slam my locker shut and storm off, with Katelyn hot on my heels. It’s dumb to be so aggressive with him because he has my combination and can easily get his bag. But something tells me he won’t.

By the time lunch arrives, I’m on edge. I know what to expect—Liam in the corner, by himself. Well, he better prepare himself because I’m not giving up on our friendship, and neither are Katelyn and Josie, even though they’ve just met him. Right now, the only thing I like about high school is when the bell rings and Katelyn hands me a note. I don’t get why girls want to write everything down. Why can’t we just talk on the phone later? Either way, I’ll respond to all her questions—in my very sloppy handwriting—and fold the notebook sized paper into a tiny square. Which again, I do not know where girls learn all this fancy folding stuff.

When I get to my locker, Liam is there, putting his books away. “Ready for lunch?” I ask him. He nods, closes his locker, and starts walking toward the cafeteria. . . without me. I hurry and store my books, grab my lunch, and speed walk after him. I don’t want to get caught running because it’s automatic detention. Dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.

The cafeteria is full, as usual. I scan the tables, looking for Liam, but can’t find him. I’m sure he came in here, but now I’m wondering if he dodged me.

“Same table?”

“What?” I say automatically, without looking at who’s talking to me.

“Are we sitting at the same table?”

I look down to find Katelyn standing next to me, holding her tray. “I’m looking for Liam. I can’t find him.”

She glances over her shoulder. “He was in line behind me. There he is.”

She’s right, he’s in line to pay for his food. I feel a huge sigh of relief and I don’t know why. There is no rule that we have to eat together, and I know he can eat wherever he wants or with whomever, but I don’t want him to hurt because of me and I need him to know how sorry I am. I also want him to know that I don’t judge him by who his father is. I know the dick embarrasses Liam, but he needs to know I still have his back.

Liam makes eye contact with me when he passes by with his tray. He pauses for a second and then continues to walk toward the table in the back. It’s away from our football team and his baseball team. He’s chosen the table we sat at the other day with the girls.

“Are you going to sit with Liam?” Katelyn asks.

“Yeah, want to join us?” I really want her to say yes, but would understand if she wants to sit with her friends. Honestly, we look like a couple loners sitting there by ourselves and that’s the farthest thing from the truth.

“Of course,” she says. I don’t know what I was paying attention to, but when Katelyn and I get to the table, Josie is already sitting down. Unlike last night, there’s a healthy space between her and Liam, and from what I can tell, Josie doesn’t like it. She really has it bad for him, and he seems oblivious. I’m going to have to talk to my boy about picking up on some of the subtle flirting going on. That’s if he’ll ever speak to me again.

As I look around the table, I realize I’m the only one who brought a lunch. “Next time, can we coordinate so I don’t look like an outcast?” I laugh.

Liam looks up quickly and then down at his food. I want to know what’s going on in his head and what his dad said to him last night. My dad told me I’m to stay away from Liam, according to the dick. It’s not like I’m a bad influence. Liam and I never get into trouble.

The girls chatter about the end of school and their summer plans. They’re going to cheer camp for a week and asked what I’m doing. “I’m going to work at Willy’s, washing cars and making sure the lot is clean. I gotta pay for my truck.” Liam looks up again and then back at his food.

“Do you have your license?” Josie asks.

“Not yet, in a couple weeks.”

“Dang, I don’t turn sixteen until March,” Katelyn says, “and my mom says I can’t get a car until I’m a senior.”

“I’ll drive you once I get my car,” Josie tells her. “I want a convertible bug or Rabbit. They’re so cute. What about you, Liam? When do you get your license?”

“Right before school starts.”

I’m surprised he answered, but I’ll be more surprised if he actually gets a license. I’m sure his father will have something to say about him driving.

“Well, it looks like I’m the baby of the group,” Katelyn says as she throws her hands up. “Just so you all know, I’ll be bumming rides from all of you in the future.”

“I’m okay with that,” I tell her. “Maybe after I get my truck, we can go to the movies or something.” I can’t believe I just asked Katelyn out on a date. I hadn’t really thought about doing it, but the words came out of my mouth before I could stop them.

“I’d like that,” she says with a smile meant just for me.

The lunch bell rings, and we gather our stuff. The girls head off to gym, while Liam and I walk back to our lockers.

“Are you ever going to talk to me again?” I ask him while I turn the dial for my combination. “I’ve said I’m sorry, and I meant it. What else do you want me to do? You’re my best friend, Liam. I hate the way he treats you.”

“I don’t know what to say,” he says.

“Are you grounded for going last night?”

“He took the phone away and yelled at me for about an hour about my responsibilities and how there’s a plan and I need to work to make it succeed. All while my mother sat in the living room watching some soap opera and drinking her vodka water.”

“Your mom puts water in her drink?” My parents drink wine and my dad will have the occasional beer.

Liam nods. “Her doctor told her she needed to drink more water, and this is her answer.”

I don’t even know what I’m supposed to say.

Liam closes his locker and heads to his class, leaving me standing there. Sometimes, I wish he would tell me that his dad hit him so he can come live with me. But then I think of how shitty that must be for a child, and I don’t want that for Liam. I just want my friend to be happy and something tells me that won’t happen until he can move out of his parent’s house and go to college. He’ll have to pick a place far enough away that Sterling can never visit. This way, Liam can be happy for once.

Seven

It’s finally the last day of school. When I wake up tomorrow, I’ll be a sophomore. No longer the “fresh meat” of the school and the football team. No more hazing or giving me shit about being in the ninth grade. Although, the hazing stopped a couple weeks after school started and the football team stopped giving me shit about my grade when I caught and ran back a touchdown. More than once, I might add.

This summer is going to be freaking amazing. Somehow, I’m going to find a way to apologize to Sterling, because I can’t imagine spending the summer without Liam. We are coming into our own, and this is our time to shine. Plus, I’ll have a truck and we have plans to go cruising down Main Street. I still have to get him on the Josie train because I definitely want to take Katelyn out on dates, and I think it would be fun to double date with my best friend.

My mom calls my name from the bottom of the stairs. I can picture her standing there, with her apron on and a dish rag in her hand. She’s made me breakfast, and this is her reminder to get my butt into gear. My backpack is in the middle of my floor and all my end of the year papers are scattered, ready to hit the dumpster once I get my report card. My dad warned me about throwing away my schoolwork until everything is final. He says you never know when a teacher might have forgotten to put a grade in. I like to think my teachers would tell me if I’m missing an assignment before the end of the year.

Picking my backpack up, I look inside, making sure it’s empty. I have to clean out my locker today, which I’m not looking forward to. It’s nice we don’t have to share with anyone because they’re tiny, but sometimes I think it would be best if we had a partner because then I wouldn’t leave my trash in there all the time. Better still, the school should give us a designated hour to clean our lockers once a month. Maybe I’ll join the student council and suggest it. That and we need a soda machine.

Yep, I’m totally running for student government.

I come down the stairs and into the kitchen. My mom is sitting at the table reading a book. “Your breakfast is in the oven. Use a potholder so you don’t burn yourself.”

“Thank you,” I say. I follow her instructions and carry my plate to the table. Before I sit down, I go to the refrigerator and take out the bottle of ketchup, and then put the best invention ever on my eggs.

“You’re just like your father,” mom says with a shake of her head. I laugh because she says it all the time. My mom likes to eat her food as is, and nothing can touch it. Not me though. I like to add chips to my sandwiches, mix my food, and add ketchup to just about anything. Mom closes her book and picks up her coffee mug to take a drink. “Last day,” she says before sipping her coffee.

“I’m ready for the summer.”

“When do you start at Willy’s?”

“On Monday,” I tell her. “I wanted to have a weekend where I do nothing before starting work.”

“And how much do you have saved?” I’ve been saving any monetary gift I’ve received since I was ten. That’s when my parents told me I’d have to buy my own car. I’m grateful because my parents purchased the truck I like. Now, I just have to make payments to them.

“Not yet a thousand.” It’s not much, but I plan to work all summer. My mom says nothing, but she gives me a look. I’m not sure what the look is supposed to mean and before I can even ask her, she gets up from the table and starts filling the sink for the dishes. I continue shoveling food as fast as I can, place my dish in the sink and kiss her cheek. “Bye.”

“Have a great last day, Mason.”

“Thanks, I will,” I yell as I rush to the door. I jump down the front porch steps and stumble. I’m able to catch myself before I fall and break something. Doing so would definitely suck and would hinder my summer plans.

Liam and I make it to our corner at the same time. His arms are empty. Gone are the extra bags. Spring football practice is over, and baseball lost out in the playoffs. Liam didn’t pitch that game and Sterling let the coach know what a mistake that was.

After the incident at the pizza parlor, Liam shut down for a few days, but I didn’t give up. I walked with him to school every day and waited for his baseball practice or game to finish. I was there, supporting him, and waiting for him to come around. He apologized and told me I was right to say what I did to his dad and thanked me for standing up for him. Still, it sucks because every few steps, Liam is looking over his shoulder. I can only hope the dick’s office is open early because him driving by is the last thing either of us wants.

At school, the atmosphere is different. Music plays in the halls and people are chatting. Garbage buckets line the middle of the hallway, which will be convenient for when I have to clean the crap out of my locker.

“Do you want some help later?” Liam asks when we get our lockers. I peek into his and sure enough, it’s already clean.

“Do you ever think about not being perfect?” I ask.

Liam shrugs. “I’m always afraid that my dad will come in here and demand to look inside.”

“Aren’t you tired of being afraid of him?”

Liam nods. “Someday, I won’t be.”

Someday can’t come soon enough.

Liam and I separate at the end of the hall, each going in opposite directions to our homeroom classes. When I get to mine, there are cupcakes, and everyone chats away. As soon as I get to my seat, the bell rings and Ms. Kiefer says she’s going to hand out our yearbooks. Once we have it, we can help ourselves to a cupcake or two and that there is juice in the cooler.

“Ms. Kiefer, do you have plans for the summer?” one of my classmates asks.

“I’m going to sleep,” she says, and we all laugh. “And go to the beach, shop, and read a lot of books.”

“But you read during the school year,” another student says.

Ms. Kiefer walks up and down the aisles, handing out our books. “I love to read for pleasure. Someday, you’ll understand.”

There’s that word again, someday. Does anyone know when this word comes to fruition, or do we just say it as a way to put someone or something off?

As soon as my book is set down, I flip to the back and look at the index, scanning until I’ve come across my name. Listed there are the page numbers of where I can find pictures of myself. Then I go to the Ws and look up Liam. He has a few more pictures than I do, but that’s expected. He plays more sports. I go back to my name and flip to the pages so I can see what photos of me made it into the yearbook. My school photo is lame. I look like a dork, but whatever. And you can barely see me in the football team photo. I’m a head on a set of shoulders—that’s about it. However, the picture of me running toward the end zone giving the guy chasing me down a hand to his helmet is epic. But I have to say, the picture of Liam and me holding the state championship trophy is my favorite.

When the bell rings, I grab my things and head off to my next class, which is spent signing books. This happens in all my classes, and when Liam and I get to the lunchroom, the football team calls us over and demands our books. Liam is hesitant and I know why—he suspects his father will read whatever these jocks write. I nudge him until he hands it to our captain, and then I sign the books as they come to me. Thankfully, today, our lunch period is extended and once we clean out our lockers, we can go home.

“Hey,” Katelyn says from beside me. “Are you coming to sit down?” She motions toward the table she and Josie, along with Liam and I, have been sitting at these past few weeks. Josie is there, with two books stacked in front of her.

“Yeah, we’ll be over in a minute,” I tell her.

“Great.” Katelyn smiles and heads back to Josie.

Once Liam and I finish with the football team, he gets called over to the baseball table. I hate that our school cafeteria divides by sport or popularity. It’s the dumbest thing ever and when I’m an upperclassman, I’m going to change it.

“Is Liam coming over?” Josie asks. She keeps her eyes focused on Liam, watching his every move.

“He’ll be over.”

“I’m glad to see he’s not upset with you anymore,” Katelyn says.

“Me too,” I tell her. “Can I sign your yearbooks?”

Katelyn pushes the books toward me, and I hand mine to her. I find my favorite picture of myself and take my time signing. I want to make sure she can read my messy handwriting. When I’m done, I hand hers back to her and say, “Can I get your number?”

She nods and says, “I put it in your book.”

Awesome.

Great.

Now I have to read through all the pages to find where she put it.

“Tricky.” She thinks this is funny because she giggles. I, on the other hand, do not, but something tells me she knows I’ll search high and low for her number.

Liam finally joins us, and I tell him to hand his book to the girls. Katelyn signs first, and then Josie takes it. I feel bad she has to search for a page to sign. I guess that’s what happens when you’re popular like Liam.

“Wow, you have so many phone numbers in here,” she says. I can’t tell if she’s jealous or in awe. I’m going with the former because there isn’t a doubt in my mind that she has a crush on Liam.

“Oh,” is all he says. I can bet once he gets home, he’ll put the book on his shelf and never open it again. I had to remind him at the beginning of the year to even buy one.

Liam finishes signing Josie and Katelyn’s books and hands them back. We sit at the table, talking about summer and all the things we want to do, when Katelyn blurts out that she wants us all to come over tomorrow.

“I have a pool,” she says. “We can go swimming, lay on the deck, and listen to music. Maybe order pizza.”

“Who else is coming?” Josie asks.

“Just the four of us.” Katelyn looks at me, but all I can picture is her in a bikini. “I have a feeling we’re going to spend a lot of time together this summer. We might as well start off with a bang.”

There’s movement under the table. I lean back in my chair and look down as casually as possible. Katelyn presses her foot against mine. Is this footsie? Are we flirting?

“What do you say?” Katelyn asks, interrupting my thoughts.

“Yeah, I don’t start my job until Monday, so I’m game. What about you, Liam?” As far as I know, he’s going to football camp, but not for a bit. He could use some relaxation.

“Sure,” he says with a shrug. “Swimming sounds great.”

I pat him on the shoulder, and woohoo! “Can I do a cannonball?”

“Yep, we have a diving board too,” Katelyn says.

“Maybe we can have a chicken fight?” Josie asks.

“What’s that?” Liam looks at Josie, wanting to know.

“It’s where someone sits on your shoulders and tries to knock someone off another person’s shoulders.”

“Oh,” Liam says. “With four people we could play.”

“Great,” Katelyn says excitedly. “You already know where I live, so why don’t you guys come around noon or so? I’ll make sure to order pizzas and get some soft drinks. It’s going to be a great time.”

“We’ll be there,” I tell her. And we will. There’s no way in hell I’m missing this cutie in a swimsuit.

Eight

There is something about the first day after school is out for the summer. The birds chirp louder, the sun is brighter, and the smell of bacon still exists even though I know I’ve slept in and missed breakfast. I roll over and look at the clock on my nightstand and wonder why it’s called a nightstand. That seems odd. It’s not like I only use it at night. The clock, with its blue neon display, tells me it’s after nine. Next week, I’ll have to get up early and ride my bike down to Willy’s to start my job. I’m excited about going to work. Last year, I mowed lawns and that was a chore. I came home every day, tired and sore. I actually looked forward to daily doubles in the heat because it meant I wouldn’t have to push a damn mower. At Willy’s I get to wash cars all day, and make sure the lot is clean. Doesn’t seem like much work, honestly. And Willy’s is going to pay me well. Plus, I get Sundays off, as well as nights. This has to be better than working down at the Dairy Twirl serving burgers and milkshakes! But then again, I wish I was like Liam in the sense that I could go to some big-time college football camp to really improve my game, but there’s no way I’d ever want his parents. When it comes to parents, mine are hands down the best.

I decide to shower before heading downstairs. Normally, I do this at night, but I want to smell nice when I go over to Katelyn’s later. Liam and I agreed we’d meet at our spot around eleven and then walk over to Katelyn’s together. Thankfully, his dad works during the day and doesn’t usually come home until six or seven in the evening which gives us plenty of time to hang out and get him home before the dick returns.

When I make it downstairs, my mom is curled up in her oversized chair, reading a book. She looks at me and smiles. “How nice of you to join the living,” she says, jokingly. “Breakfast is warming in the oven. You’ll have to make your own toast.”

“Okay, thank you.” I know someday she won’t make my breakfast, but until then I’m going to take full advantage of her hospitality. I remember to use a potholder, even though my mom didn’t remind me to do so and pull my food out. I set it onto the stove to let it cool while I make my toast.

“Plans today?” Mom asks when she comes into the kitchen. She takes a seat at the table and places her book face down.

“Katelyn Cohen invited Liam and me over to swim at her house today. We’re going to order pizza for lunch.”

“And her parents will be home?”

“Of course,” I say, even though I have no idea if they will be. I know not all moms or dads have the ability to stay home like my mom, and I never thought to ask.

“Well, when you get there, please call me so I have the Cohens’ number in case there’s an emergency.”

I nod and head upstairs while my bread is toasting. Inside my sock drawer is the crumpled piece of paper I wrote Katelyn’s number on after she put it in my yearbook. I didn’t want to have to keep opening my book to read it, so I wrote it down and am working on memorizing it. Seeing another piece of paper on the floor, I pick it up and scribble the number down for my mom. I really don’t want to give it to her, but I don’t want her to tell me I can’t go either.

Back downstairs, I hand her the slip. “Katelyn gave me her number yesterday.”

“Thank you, Mason.” I nod and take my bread out of the toaster. “Is this the girl you dressed up for a couple weeks back?”

I can feel the heat rise to my cheeks. “I wasn’t dressed up.”

“You wore your Sunday best to school.”

I shrug and pray she changes the subject. I take my food over to the table and sit down, hoping the conversation changes to something different, like sports. Sports I can talk about for days.

“Mason, I know you’re getting to be that age,” Mom pauses and then sighs. “Well, girls are going to be on your mind and your body and mind are going to urge you to do things, things you might not be ready for. Before you do something that could change your future, please talk to me or your dad, and we’ll make sure you have protection.”

I put my fork down, having lost my appetite. Where is my dad when I need him? This is not a conversation I want to have with my mom. Not my dad either, but I’d rather talk to him about this stuff. I sit back and hold my hand up.

“Mom, please. I took health class. I know about the birds, the bees, and condoms.” I can’t believe I’m saying this stuff to my mom. Someone please shoot me.

“Yes, but what they don’t teach you in health class is about the urges, the emotions that take over, and . . . well, I just want you to be prepared.”

“I’m not going over to her house to have sex, Mom.” I don’t mean to blurt this out, but that’s what happens. Her face pales and I realize I’ve snapped and shocked her. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell, it’s just that,” I pause and take a deep breath. “I like Katelyn, but I just met her. I don’t want to have sex with her.”

“Well, when you—”

“Mom, please!”

“Okay, I’m sorry. I just worry.”

I nod, unsure what I’m supposed to say. I push my food away and Mom frowns. As much as I want to eat what she’s made, I don’t think my stomach can handle it. Right now, my insides are twisted up and I don’t like the feeling.

As soon as my mom leaves the table, I get up and dump my food. I’m sure she’ll have something to say about this later but right now there’s no way I can eat it. Her talk has made me nervous and now I’m second-guessing whether I should go over to Katelyn’s or not. I don’t want to be the kind of guy that bails on friends, but I feel pretty tied up about going.

Even though I’m not allowed to call Liam, I do anyway. I let it ring twice and then hang up. That’s our sign that I want to talk and if Liam is nearby or hears the phone, he’ll call me back. I stand there and wait and after ten or fifteen minutes, I give up.

Crap. I don’t know what to do. Do I call Katelyn and tell her I’m not coming, but still go and meet Liam since he’ll be waiting? Or do I just go? I really don’t want my mom’s talk to ruin my summer, and this is pretty much it until football starts because of work. Ugh, why did my mom have to talk about sex during breakfast?

While I wait to leave, I stay in my room and go through my yearbook. Some of the things people say are really odd.

“Stay cool.” Am I cool?

“Wish we could’ve spent more time together.” Um, who are you?

“Have a rad summer. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” What exactly is it that you won’t do? Should I be told so I know what to avoid?

I suppose what I wrote isn’t much better and now that I think about it, I don’t even remember what I wrote down half the time. I should probably try to remember what I put in Katelyn’s because maybe I said something stupid or promised something I won’t be able to deliver. Crap.

It’s finally time to leave to go meet Liam. I ready myself to tell my mom goodbye and hope she doesn’t say anything that will discourage me from going today. I find her back in her chair, with a book in her hand. I try to catch the title, but she turns the cover when I approach. Great, now I think she’s reading a book that teaches her how to talk to her son about sex. I think I’m going to be sick.

“Uh . . . I’m going to go now.”

“Do you have your swim trunks, a towel, and sunblock?”

“Uh . . .” Yeah, I didn’t remember any of those things. I head back upstairs, pull a towel from the linen closet, head back to my room to grab my shorts, and finally into the bathroom to get the lotion. Now, I’m ready. I tell my mom goodbye and then bolt out the front door.

Once I’m down the front stairs, I run toward my meeting spot with Liam. I need to clear my head from the conversation with my mom this morning and running usually helps. Except, this isn’t helping. I forgot my backpack and have to carry everything. My towel is hitting my leg and if I put it around my neck, I’m going to overheat.

“Man, today sucks!” I say aloud. I’m super mad at my mom for bringing that stuff up at breakfast. I haven’t even been on a date yet and she thinks I’m going to hump Katelyn in the pool. I don’t even want to have sex until I’m much older anyway.

Liam isn’t at our corner when I get there. I wait, pacing back and forth before I give up and start walking toward his house. We’ll have to backtrack to go to Katelyn’s, but I have too much pent-up energy to care.

I make it all the way to Liam’s and lurk behind the shrubs. There isn’t a car in the driveway which means his dad isn’t home. The landscapers who take care of the Westbury property use these tiny pebbles in the garden beds and I grab a handful before I sneak around the side to where Liam’s window is. I toss pebble after pebble until his blinds open and the window lifts.

“Dude, what gives? Did you forget?”

“No,” he says and then looks over his shoulder. He continues to look over his shoulder for a moment before turning back to me. “I can’t go.”

“Why not? The dick isn’t home, is he?”

Liam leans out a bit. “I’m leaving for camp.”

“Not for a couple more weeks. It’s not like swimming will hurt you or anything.”

“My father is driving me to the airport when he gets home from an errand. He’s sending me to camp.”

“Now?” My voice breaks when I ask.

Liam nods.

“What about my birthday?”

“I’m sorry, Mason. He told me last night when he got home. It’s a summer long camp that starts in a couple days. You know I don’t have a choice.”

Doesn’t he though? Can’t he tell his dad that he doesn’t want to travel across the country for the summer to play football? I would tell my dad if I didn’t want to go.

“Oh,” is all I can say. “I guess I’ll go.”

“I’d stay if I could.”

I drop my eyes to the ground, nod, and drop the pebbles in my hand. I hope Sterling finds them and freaks out because his perfect lawn isn’t so perfect anymore. Instead of going to Katelyn’s, I head home. I’m not in the mood to hangout anymore. My best friend is leaving and won’t be here for my sixteenth birthday. We had plans; his father be damned. Not anymore. I’m going to spend my birthday alone or with the knitting club. They’re the only ones who care that I’m going to be old enough to get my driver’s license.

Nine

Every rock I see, big or small, I kick. I don’t care if my toes hurt because right now, the pain in my foot is better than the ache I feel in my heart. Why do I care so much about Liam when it’s clear he doesn’t care about me? His dad is the biggest piece of crap human I have ever met, and I hope when I’m older and can use my voice for something good, I never meet another person like him. And I can easily say, I never want to be a professor or sit on the school board, the youth league board, or be on any other commission where being an asshole all your life is acceptable. Sterling should be a bad name, one that should never be spoken unless you’re calling someone a dick.

I kick another rock, but this one hits a car. “Oh, shit,” I mutter and look around to see if anyone saw me. I inch forward and crouch down, and upon closer inspection, I see a dent. “Crap, crap, crap.” I am in so much trouble, and as much as I want to blame the dick, I can’t. He didn’t force me to kick rocks on the sidewalk. I stand in the patch of grass between the sidewalk and the car. I know the right thing to do is to go up and knock on the door and tell the car owner what I did, but I’m scared. The dent is noticeable, and for all I know the owner could be a complete jerk and want me to pay hundreds to fix it. While I have the money saved, it’s meant for my truck.

“God, I’m stupid,” I say to the birds, bugs, and to the people hiding behind their curtains and blinds, watching me. You know they’re there, spying on the dumb teenage boy lurking. I shake my head and glance down at my foot and imagine what my toe must look like. It’s then I notice someone has not mowed the grass in a couple of weeks, and this gives me an idea.

With a deep intake of breath, I head up the somewhat steep driveway and then up the stairs to the porch. I knock and take a step back. I find it odd that the house doesn’t have a screen door and think maybe that is something else I can offer to do for the people whose car I damaged. I knock again, but no one answers. It seems my only option is to come back later with a note. After studying the house number—it’s not like I’ll forget it—I continue toward my house. You’d think I would’ve learned my lesson, but nope. I kick another rock, and this time it hits the person coming toward me—a person I didn’t see a few feet ahead of me.

“Ouch,” Liam’s voice rings out. “What did I ever do to you?”

“What are you doing here?” I ask, not that I’m not grateful he’s here, but why is he here? He told me he’s leaving, and I’m completely confused because he’s carrying a towel in his hand.

“I thought we were going swimming?”

I look behind me, around him, everywhere but at him. Is he joking right now? Did he not just tell me he had to go to camp?

“Huh?”

Liam laughs as if this is some joke. If it is, I don’t find it funny.

“I am going to camp, but not until July.”

“But you just said . . .” I trail off and allow my confusion to continue.

“I know what I said, but I was joking. Don’t you think I’d at least tell you if Sterling pulled something like that? If he did, I’d probably run away or something. Six weeks at camp is already long enough.”

I’m still confused.

“You let me think you’d be gone for my birthday. That’s rude,” I tell him.

Liam deadpans. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think you’d believe me.”

“Well, I did, and now I’m in trouble.”

“Trouble how?” he asks.

I turn and point to the car. “I was so angry I started kicking rocks—”

“Like the one you hit me with?”

“Whatever,” I say as I roll my eyes. “Anyway, I hit that car down there and left a dent. I knocked on the door, but no one answered. I’m on my way home to write a note and bring it back.” I shrug and look back at Liam. “I’m going to offer to mow their lawn to pay for the damage.”

“You’re a good person, Mason Powell.”

“Thanks, man.”

“Let’s head to that girl’s house and go swimming. Sterling is out of town for the day.”

“That girl has a name. It’s Katelyn.”

“Okay,” Liam says.

It takes me a minute to finally agree. I know, deep in my heart, I should head home, but if I return later, it’ll be the same. At least I’m admitting what I did and am willing to pay for it. I’m not sure any of my classmates would ever do the same.

Liam and I head toward Katelyn’s. He tells me about the camp he’s going to and says he’s looking forward to learning from Coach Bowden and the Florida State University players. “I just hope there isn’t a hurricane in Tallahassee when I’m there,” he says.

“Yeah, that would suck. Do you think there are gators there?” Liam and I both laugh at my joke. With the University of Florida Gators being FSU rivals and all.

“Dunno,” he says with a shrug. “But there are rattlers. I read about them when I was in the library.”

“It’s pretty cool you’re going to a big city. I’m jealous.” It’s true, I am. Not many of us can afford what Liam’s dad can, and I guess his dad is okay in that sense. Still a jerk, but whatever. I’d for sure take the trip if I were Liam and it meant I was away from my dad for six weeks, got to live on a college campus, and had a chance to learn from the best football program.

“I’ll teach you everything when I come back,” Liam says. I know he will, but it won’t be the same. Liam’s going pro. There isn’t a doubt in my mind he’ll be on television someday, starring in the Superbowl and winning the MVP title. Hopefully, I’ll be in the stands, rooting for my friend, but I’m not holding my breath. People who are destined for greatness tend to forget the little people. I glance at my friend. His head is down, and his shoulders slumped. I hate that he lacks self-confidence, and I wish I could give him some. I really hope all the other kids at camp treat him well because he’ll need a friend when he’s there.

“Your dad will probably give you a calling card when you go. Make sure you use all the minutes to talk to me, okay?”

Liam laughs. “You got it!”

The rest of the way to Katelyn’s, we talk about what next year will look like, and how Liam has a lot to prove when it comes to football. Winning a state title with a freshman quarterback is unheard of, and everyone will expect us to repeat.

“I think Josie likes you,” I tell him when we’re a block away from Katelyn’s.

“Oh,” he says. The lucky bastard has his pick of girls at school and doesn’t pay attention to any of them.

“Such a tough life you have,” I say jokingly as I bump into his shoulder. “I like Katelyn. I think I’m going to ask her out on a date or something.”

“Yeah? Does she like you?”

I shrug. “She invited us over, didn’t she?”

Wait! What if she secretly likes Liam and is using me to get to him?

“I think she invited you over and gave me a pity invite.”

Yeah, he’s probably right. I’m much cooler than Liam Westbury ever will be. I don’t say this to him. It’s one thing to have these thoughts, but it’s another thing to blurt them out. They’d only hurt his feelings, and I don’t want to do that.

When we get to Katelyn’s, the sight of the front door gives me anxiety. I’ve never met a girl’s parents, at least a girl that I’m interested in. Being a teenager is a game-changer. It’s not like in the first or second grade when you get invited to everyone’s birthday party, and you meet the parents. You really don’t meet them. You say hi, leave your mom or dad with their mom or dad, and you run off to where the kids are playing. This is different. This is “be on your best behavior, watch your language, and use sir and ma’am” type stuff. Crap, this is real life, and I’m not sure I’m ready for it.

“Are we just going to stand here?”

“I’m nervous.”

“Why?” Liam asks. “She invited us over,” he points out. “Surely, her parents are expecting us.”

He has a point.

But what if her parents aren’t home and? . . . and now everything my mom said to me earlier pops into my mind.

“Have you had ‘the talk’ with your parents?”

“The talk?”

I nod. “You know about sex and condoms and feelings?”

Liam shakes his head slowly. “My mom doesn’t really talk to me, and my dad only talks about football and baseball and how I didn’t do my job properly. Besides, I’m not allowed to date.”

Liam and I stand shoulder to shoulder. I turn slowly to look at him. “You know every girl in the school wants to jump your bones, right?”

He says nothing.

“You could literally nail each chick in school. Probably in the janitor's closet if you told them that’s where you wanted it.”

“I don’t want it,” he says. “Sometimes, they scare me.”

I shake my head. “Every guy on the team wishes they were you.”

“I don’t understand any of it. I’m only fifteen.”

“And destined for stardom,” I mutter. “If you ever decide to break the rules and date someone, whoever it ends up being will be the envy of the school.”

“If you say so.”

There’s splashing and giggling coming from behind the fence. Liam points to it and says, “There’s a gate.”

“Perfect.”

We step onto the grass and head to the gate. Thankfully, I’m tall enough to reach the latch on the inside and pull the lever up. “Hey,” I say when I step in.

Both girls scream.

“Whoa, sorry. I thought this would be easier than knocking on the door.”

“It is,” Katelyn says as she gets out of the pool and leaves me speechless. The way she walks up the steps, in a bikini, with the water dripping off her body, causes a stirring in my shorts. I drop my towel in front of me and stand there like a boy who is seeing a half-naked girl for the first time. And while this is definitely not my first time, it sort of is. None of the women I’ve seen at the beach before showed any interest in me, but Katelyn has, and that makes all the difference in the world.

“We started to think you guys weren’t going to come.”

Oh, that’s not a good word right now.

“Mason is a slow walker,” Liam says.

Now he wants to be a chatterbox.

“Wow, you talk!” Katelyn says with a smile. “And here I thought you only knew a word or two.”

Liam turns red, and I know he won’t say much the rest of the time we are here because she’s embarrassed him.

“Yeah, sorry we’re late. I stubbed my toe.” I pray my toe is actually decent looking so as not to scare the girls with my gruesome feet. Feet are so damn ugly.

Katelyn motions for us to follow her toward the pool. There are chaise lounges out, a couple of pool toys, and her pool is one of those really nice in-ground ones. I glance at her house and see her mother standing at the window. Her arms are crossed, making me wonder if she’s unhappy that her daughter has invited boys over. There isn’t a doubt in my mind my mom would be outside with us, tending to her garden or whatever.

“Hey, Liam,” Josie says when we get closer. He gives her a half-smile and a wave. You can see the dejection she feels by his lack of interest. It sucks that he won’t put himself out there. Although, he tried minutes ago when he tried to be funny, and Katelyn responded the way she did. Liam’s shy. They need to get used to that. Maybe football camp will bring him out of his shell.

For the next two hours we swim, splash around, and bask in the sun. Every so often, Mrs. Cohen comes outside with something. First, it’s our pizza, then it’s refilling our drinks, and she even comes out to check the water levels or something. Each time, Katelyn tsks and rolls her eyes.

“My mom is the same way,” I tell her.

“It’s just annoying. I can’t wait until I’m eighteen and can move out.”

“Won’t you go to college?” I ask her.

She nods. “Yep, far away from here, where she’s not hovering. I swear she thinks we’re going to have an orgy or something.”

An orgy?

“Well, my parents told me not to get high or come home pregnant,” Josie says. “They think we’re over here smoking pot and dropping acid. Sometimes, I think they’re too laid back even to care what I do.”

“You’re lucky,” Liam says. “I had to sneak out of the house to come over. My mom will never know I’m gone, though, so whatever.”

“That’s sad, Liam,” Josie says.

It is. It really, really is.

Ten

There’s classical music playing downstairs. I don’t know if it’s Mozart or Beethoven because to me they all sound the same. What I do know is my mom is cleaning, and when she turns on her classical music it means she’s deep cleaning. It’s my birthday. I’m finally sixteen. I should be ecstatic. Images of a summer full of debauchery should be playing in my mind. But there’s nothing but fear. Dread. Trepidation that the knitting club, did in fact, plan my birthday party. I’m afraid to go downstairs, scared of what I might see. Will there be balloon arches? Crepe paper strung from wall to wall. Pin the tail on the donkey? I hate not knowing and wish I had been adamant that I didn’t need a party. Even if I was, I fear my mother would’ve never listened and thrown one anyway. My only hope is that Liam comes. He’d probably be the only friend of mine who would appreciate sipping tea with our pinkies up and hanging out with an older generation. Katelyn would probably run for the hills—not that I’d blame her—I wouldn’t want to date an old fogey.

Geez, I’m sixteen. Old enough to drive once I get my license today. Not old enough to do much else, really, except date. I really need to man up and ask Katelyn out, although I’m scared. Just like I’m scared of what’s happening downstairs right now. I’m also terrified of what’s happening in my shorts. Every morning since I started talking to Katelyn, I’ve had some issues. Normally, this is something I take care of in the bathroom while I’m showering, but lately, I can’t seem to wait. I remember during football season, one of the guys talking about keeping a sock and a bottle of lotion in his nightstand drawer. I reach for the knob on the drawer and pull it open and there’s the bottle and a sock. It’s like it’s mocking me or maybe telling me it’s my birthday and I should take care of business before the knitting club arrives. I take the bottle and tube sock out of my drawer. My heart beats rapidly, and I can’t tell if it’s because I’m excited or nervous.

Definitely nervous.

With a couple pumps of lotion in the palm of my hand, I kick my blankets off of me. I don’t even have to free myself from my boxers, this thing of mine, which needs a name, is already poking out. It’s like he has a mind of his own. As soon as my lotion covered hand touches my dick, my eyes roll back in my head. I picture Katelyn, in her bikini, laughing and splashing, coming near me with those sexy eyes, the type the starlet has in the movies.

Pump. Pump. Pump.

“Mason, are you awake?”

“Don . . .” My voice cracks and I’m unable to finish my sentence before my bedroom door starts to open. I scramble to hide the evidence, but it’s too late. Her eyes are wide, and her mouth drops open.

“Oh, God,” she says as she backs out the door. In my haste to hide everything, I hit my head and cry out. “Mason? Are . . . are you okay?”

“God, Mom just go away for a minute, okay?”

“Okay,” she says. I lay there, with my hand on my head, until I’m sure she’s back downstairs. The music has stopped and there’s a faint banging coming from the kitchen. I’m surprised she’s not on the phone with my grandma right now or telling my dad to come home and take care of his son. Whenever I’m bad, I’m either his son or her son. I don’t get that at all.

Why is this my life?

I cover my eyes with my forearm and wonder what else my mother could do to embarrass me? And what did I do to deserve this? Why did she walk in like that? Why is she always the one to have the sex talk with me? Not that I want to have it with my dad either, but my mom . . . it’s just . . . I don’t even know.

I don’t know how long I lay there, with my arm covering my face, and lotion drying on my other hand and my . . . nope, can’t even say the word anymore because my mom knows what I was doing. I’m not sure which is worse, the fact that she caught me jacking off or that she knows I do this. I guess, when it boils down to it, it’s the same thing.

There is nothing I can do except pretend this never happened and that becomes my plan. After all, it’s my birthday and I’m almost an adult now. I’m sure when she was my age, she was doing whatever it is girls do. I avoid going downstairs and head for the shower instead. As much as I’d love to finish what I started, because believe me, pressure builds and the relief is very welcoming, there’s no way I’m attempting to do anything like this when my parents are home ever again, lest I get caught by my dad. I don’t even want to know what he’s going to say when he hears about this.

By the time I make it downstairs, my dad is sitting at the table, reading the paper and my mom is frosting my cake. I’m tempted to put my finger in the frosting, but nope. I don’t want to deal with the wrath of Mom. My mom will probably ask me if I’ve washed my hands with bleach. I refuse to make eye contact with my parents when I enter the kitchen and head right to the refrigerator.

“Are you hungry?” Mom asks. I can’t help but wonder if she thinks I’ve worked up an appetite by doing what I was doing, and it takes me a moment to realize she’s asking because it’s still morning and I haven’t eaten breakfast.

“Yeah,” I say as I reach for the eggs. “I can make it though.”

“Don’t be silly.” Mom all but pushes me out of the way and reaches for the breakfast stuff. “Just because you’re sixteen now doesn’t mean,” she pauses and inhales deeply. I step aside and wait for her to catch her breath and to finish her thought. “It’s your birthday. I’ll make your breakfast.”

“You make it every day,” I point out.

“I know. It’s just easier.”

The awkwardness between us sucks, and truthfully, I really want a birthday hug from my mom, but feel like I’m not going to get one. I sit at the table and pick up the sports section to check out last night’s baseball scores.

“Are you excited?” Dad asks.

“For what?”

“Your test? We leave in an hour,” he reminds me. Each night this week we’ve practiced the dreaded parallel parking. I can’t imagine I’ll ever use it, but we have to learn it nonetheless.

“I am. A little nervous,” I tell him.

“Do you want to know what I did before I took my test?” he asks.

I nod, but mom drops the frying pan onto the stove and both me and dad look at her. “Sorry,” she mutters.

“Butterfingers,” Dad says as he hooks his thumb over his shoulder. “I think she’s sad you’re sixteen. You’re almost a man now, Mason.”

Another drop.

“When I was sixteen,” Dad pauses and shakes his head.

“He doesn’t need to know what you did at sixteen, Michael,” Mom barks out. She’s focused on the stove and not at us. Dad shakes his head and winks, meaning he’s planning to tell me later, and I’m not sure I want to know. What if Mom told him what I was doing upstairs and now he wants to reminisce about the time when he was a boy? I don’t think I could stomach it. Hearing stories about my dad in his sexual peak is not high on my priority list.

Dad lets me drive home. I feel like a whole new person now that I have the freedom to drive whenever I want. I have the window rolled down and my elbow rests there. My hands aren’t exactly at ten and two, but close. Music plays and the wind blows through my hair as I drive my dad back to the house. Damn, I feel good.

When we pull into the driveway, I put the car into park, set the emergency brake, and turn it off. Dad holds his hand out for the keys and laughs. “Nice job.”

“Thanks.”

“What do you say, we go inside and see what your mom has been up to?”

No, thank you.

I don’t want to know what she’s been up to. If I had to guess, crepe paper has puked all over the house and women are sitting on the sofa, drinking tea and talking about the run in their pantyhose or my mom has gone through my room and taken the lotion and used tongs to dispose of the sock. Nope, I’m perfectly happy getting behind the wheel of my truck and driving to get ice cream or something.

Dad elbows me and motions toward the house. Reluctantly, I get out of the car and follow him up the stairs. Dad smiles at me before he opens the door. This leads me to believe something fishy is going on, but what?

As soon as I step in, I’m greeted by the sound of “Surprise!” being yelled at by everyone in the room. Liam is front and center, holding a bouquet of balloons and he looks downright thrilled. I try not to laugh but to no avail. As coyly as possible, he gives me the middle finger and I feel like a proud papa right now because something has shifted in him and he’s coming out of his shell. Next to him, is the girl I fantasized about this morning. Her hair is curled and resting over her shoulder. She smiles and there’s instant action in my pants. Shit. I grimace and she frowns. Crap. Now I’ve really messed things up. Everyone else in the room are family, family friends, and yep, the knitting club.

“Happy Birthday, son!” Dad claps me on my shoulder.

“Thanks, Dad.”

“Well, let’s mingle and eat,” Mom says. “Then we’ll open presents.”

Everyone disperses, leaving me with my friends. “I think you can let that go,” I say to Liam. He does and the balloons float to the ceiling. I look at Katelyn and smile. “I wasn’t making a face at you, I promise.”

“Okay,” she says. She steps to me and kisses my cheek. Only, it’s not like when your grandma kisses your cheek. This one is different. Katelyn lingers there, making sure I can smell her perfume. And the problem I’ve had all day is back with a vengeance. Only, I don’t step away because I don’t want to hurt her feelings again.

“Thanks for coming,” I tell them. “Where’s Josie?”

“She had to work and couldn’t get the day off,” Katelyn says.

“Well, maybe we can go see her later or something. I got my license.”

“Nice!” Liam gives me a high-five. “Guess you’ll be driving to school.”

“We,” I correct him. “I’ll pick you up on the corner like usual.”

Liam nods.

“What do you say?” I look at Katelyn. “Want to go see Josie when this party is over?”

“I’d love to, but I’m not allowed to ride with anyone yet. I can ask but I doubt my mom will change her mind.”

Well, that sucks. How am I supposed to take her on a date if I can’t drive her?

The three of us hang out in the living room until it’s time to open presents. My mom ushers us outside, where the crepe paper is, in fact, everywhere. And here I thought she’d given up on decorating. There’s a table with presents, many stacked on top of each other, and it warms my heart that people thought enough to buy me something.

“This is from your mom and me,” Dad says as he hands me an envelope. I open it and a key falls out. I look at him confusingly because it’s a key to my truck.

Our Dearest Son,

Each birthday is a milestone and 16 is one of the biggest. It’s your first step into becoming an adult. Our gift to you is your truck. As long as you maintain your grades, are active in sports and school, and are making good decisions, you owe us nothing. Gas, however, is your responsibility. We’ll cover the rest.

We wish you the happiest of birthdays, Mason.

We love you so much.

Love, Mom & Dad

I wipe at the tears on my face and look at my parents. Despite everything that happened this morning, my mom is beaming. She comes to me and gives me a hug. “Happy Birthday, my boy.”

“Thanks, Mom. And thank you both for this. I promise to do everything you asked in here.” I look at the card again and shake my head. “Wow.”

I open the rest of my presents and thank everyone for the new clothes, the knitted sweater which I’ll never wear, the cash that’s to be used on gas, and the movie passes. I plan to use those to take Katelyn on a date. Liam gave me a framed picture of the both of us from when we were in peewees, and Katelyn gave me a book about football and being a wide receiver.

After Katelyn’s mom picks her up, Liam and I climb into my truck and head toward his house. He’s leaving tomorrow and will be gone for the rest of the summer.

“I’m going to miss you,” I tell him.

He nods. “Things are going to change when I come back,” he says. “I’m so sick of Sterling and his shit.”

“Yeah.”

Liam sighs. “I bet when I get back, Katelyn will be your girlfriend and you won’t have time for me.”

“Nah,” I say. “She may be my girlfriend, but you’re my best friend and that will never change.”

“I hope so.” Liam climbs out of the truck and leans into the window. “Stay cool, Mason Powell. See you in August.”

“Go out there and show them who Liam Westbury is. I’ll be waiting for you when you get back.”

Liam says nothing else as he turns and starts walking toward his house. I wait until I can’t see him anymore before I put my truck in drive and pull away.

Eleven

It’s been almost two weeks since Liam left, and I feel like I’m all alone. Sure, I have my mom and her knitting club if I’m so inclined to stay and learn how to purl, but I’m not. Mom says I have to stop moping around the house because I’m giving off bad vibes, and she read some article—that’s when I tune her out and don’t listen to anything else—she’s always reading an article about something and tries to relate it to my life. This one time, she wanted to track how many hours I watched television because “people” say too much TV will rot your brain. And one time, she put tape on the floor and said I couldn’t sit any closer than the tape because I would ruin my eyes. I love my mom, but she needs to quit reading Reader’s Digest unless it’s for the jokes. I think those are funny.

Right now, I’m sitting on the couch, far enough away that the radio waves won’t rot my brain or transmit conversations from the aliens. I’m watching MTV and wondering how artists like Madonna get away with nothing more than a bra on TV. I suppose this is what they call freedom of expression and art, although art is a loose term. I thought about driving around, but I don’t want to waste my gas. I’m making good money at Willy’s and am now saving up for a bomb-ass sound system. Willy says the stereo installer can put it behind my seat, and I’ll be able to feel the bass thump against my back.

Mom comes into the living room, and I quickly change the channel. Of course, it’s Billy Graham. He’s telling me I need to go to church and accept Jesus into my life.

“Oh, heavens, what are you watching?”

“Nothing,” I sigh and shut the boob tube off. “I was just flipping. Not much on during the summer.”

“No, I suppose not. I’m heading to the mall,” she tells me. “Would you like to go? We can look at some clothes. Maybe put a few things on layaway.”

Yes, I want to go to the mall, but do I want to go with my mom? That is the question.

“Sure, I’ll come. We don’t need to shop though. The jeans I got for my birthday fit.”

Mom starts to laugh. “Mason, they’re already high waters. You’ll need clothes for school. Come on, let’s go see what we can find.”

Leave it to my mom to remind me school is going to start back up. Although, right now, I’d take it because that means Liam is back, and we’re back to being Mason and Liam. Or is it Liam and Mason? I’m not sure it matters because once my friend returns, it’s football season, and I’m ready to run the ball down some throats.

We take my mom’s car, and she lets me drive. Her car is a lot different than my truck. This is a much better ride, it’s smoother, and not as loud. But my truck, it’s mine, and I’m not going to give my parents a reason to ever take it away from me.

Mom tells me to park by Sears when we get to the mall. “Levi’s are on sale,” she says as we make our way into the store. “I think we should buy a size longer, just in case.”

“When will I stop growing?”

“It’s hard to say. Both your grandfathers are very tall, and so is your dad. I imagine you’ll be well over six feet.” She doesn’t bat an eyelash when she says this, just keeps looking through the racks of clothes. “My brother is six foot five.”

“I’m five ten now.”

Mom pauses and looks at me. “I knew you were growing. Are you in any pain?”

“Pain?”

“Growing pains.”

I shake my head. “Not that I know of. My feet hurt.”

She looks at me and then squats. Her thumb starts pressing into the toe of my shoe. “Ouch.” I yank my foot away. “Be gentle.”

“Well, you definitely need new shoes. When did you get those?”

Shrugging. “Don’t remember.”

“Follow me.” We leave the clothing section and head to the shoes. She picks out a couple different pairs of sneakers, asking along the way if I like them or not. I don’t say much because they’re shoes, and no one really pays attention to them anyway. It’s not like with jeans or T-shirts. Everyone notices those. When the sales lady comes over to us, my mom suggests she measure my foot. I slip off my shoe and my mom gasps. “Seriously, Mason?”

I look down. My sock is dirty, and I know I’m embarrassing her. “I didn’t know we were coming here,” I say quietly.

“We’ll buy some new socks today, as well. Honestly, I feel like I just bought you new socks.”

She did, but I don’t say anything because, well . . .

It’s like she can read my mind and her eyes go wide. “Heavens,” she mutters and turns away. Maybe I should start buying my own socks from here on out.

The salesclerk tells us my shoe size and mom nods. “Two sizes since March. Honestly, Mason, you’re going to eat me out of house and home at this point.”

“Sorry?” I’m not sure what to say. Is she mad because I’m growing? If so, she should’ve thought about that before she had a child with someone who is six four. I definitely didn’t choose to be tall. Honestly, I like it though. Katelyn is short and I like looking down at her.

“It’s not your fault. Just, in the future, when you feel things are getting tight or short, give me a heads up.”

“Okay.”

The clerk brings boxes of shoes out and I try each pair on. Mom and I settle on a pair of black Converse and Nike’s. I tell her I’ll pay for one of the pairs and she counters by suggesting I buy us lunch. I like the idea of buying my mom lunch today and tell her it’s a deal.

We leave Sears, and she tells me she needs to go to the woman’s store, which is code for bras and underwear. Mom already knows I don’t want to go in there, mostly because those things are giving me thoughts I don’t want to have in front of my mom, but I also don’t want to see what my mom wears. Some stuff needs to be kept a secret.

I head toward the arcade. I have a few quarters burning a hole in my pocket and I might as well spend them while I have a few minutes. As I pass the food court, I spot Josie and right away, I see Katelyn beside her. Seeing her sitting there brings a smile to my face. It’s then that I’m struck with this brilliant idea. I turn around and head to the florist. There, I pick a rose with some of that baby breath stuff that looks like snowflakes and give the guy behind the counter three dollars. With so much gusto, I climb the steps to the platform where all the seating is and approach their table.

Only, when Katelyn sees me, she doesn’t smile. She glares.

“H—hey,” I stumble over my word.

“Hey, yourself,” she says and then looks at Josie. “Do you remember Mason?” she asks her, which is a dumb question.

“Yep, we’ve actually known each other since the first grade, but he doesn’t remember me.”

“Wh—what?” I’m so confused. Why would Josie say this?

Josie smiles, except it’s not a real smile. Her lips are thin and she’s sort of scowling. “We used to go to church together,” she tells me.

“Huh?”

“Yep. We were in the same Sunday school class.”

“Oh, sorry. I don’t remember.”

“Obviously,” she says, rolling her eyes.

“Well, you didn’t remember either,” I point out. “We’ve been hanging out for the past few months, and this is the first time you’ve brought it up.” My eyebrow raises to send my point home. “So, not sure why this is my fault.”

“It’s your fault because you haven’t called,” Katelyn says, which makes zero sense. Girls are confusing.

“So, I’m in trouble or whatever for not remembering that Josie and I met in the first grade, and for not calling?”

They say, “yes,” in unison.

“Okay.”

“Why haven’t you called me?” Katelyn asks. She’s pretty bold if you ask me.

“I don’t really talk on the phone unless I have something to say.”

Katelyn’s face falls. She goes from pissed off to sad in less than two seconds. Clearly, I’ve said the wrong thing. I should stop at the bookstore and buy a book about teenage girls because something tells me I’m going to need one.

“I’ll call you tonight,” I tell her. This puts a little pink back into her cheeks. “I don’t work nights, if you’d like to hang out?”

“That’d be fun,” she says and then looks at the rose. “Who’s that for?”

It was for you, but now I’m embarrassed.

“For my mom,” I say. “She bought me some new things and I thought I’d thank her.”

“That’s very sweet of you,” Josie says.

“Yeah,” Katelyn adds.

“Where’s Liam?” Josie asks.

“He’s at camp.”

“Yeah, but where? And when will he be back?”

“Not until the end of summer,” I tell Josie. “He’s in Florida.”

Josie rolls her eyes. “I can’t believe he went all the way there for some camp.”

“He’s going to be famous someday. Liam will go to the NFL and be the best quarterback ever, and we’ll all be sitting at home thinking back to the time when we went to high school with him,” I say. Even though Liam has promised to never forget me, I know he will. We won’t be friends forever because nothing lasts forever. At some point, people grow up and move on. After he goes to college, he’ll forget about us in Beaumont and go make a name for himself. I hope he forgets his parents first. If he gets a scholarship, which I have no doubt in my mind he will, he won’t need his parents anymore. He can tell his coach to keep his father out of the stands or go far enough away that his dad can’t travel. Liam needs a clean break.

“My dad agrees,” Katelyn says.

“My dad seems to think that Liam will end up being a skirt chaser like all the boys in town and will end up getting some girl pregnant. He’ll work at the mill, like the rest of them.”

“Nah, that’ll never happen.” I know my friend, and right now, he’s afraid of the opposite sex.

I spot my mom heading in our direction and I’m sort of happy. These girls are intense, and I need a break. Mom smiles when she sees me and comes over to say hi. I introduce my mom to Josie, and they greet each other, and my mom says hi to Katelyn and tells her it’s nice to see her again.

We leave the girls and find a table, far enough away that we can talk with some privacy. Mom and I opt for Chinese food for lunch. I set the flower in front of my mom and tell her it’s for her and thank her for buying me new stuff today before going over to place our order. With the tray in hand, I carry everything over to our table and Mom arranges everything.

“Katelyn is a nice girl,” she says. I fear she’s going to start with the sex talk again. I hold up my hand and my mom closes her mouth.

“I like her, Mom. And I know that you saw some stuff in my room and you’re worried about sex and stuff, but I haven’t done anything wrong, and I don’t plan to, but I’d like to ask her out on a date.”

Mom swallows hard or chokes on her food, I’m not sure which. “What I saw in your room,” she pauses and clears her throat. “It’s normal for people to explore their bodies, and there will come a time when you want to explore another person’s body—”

“Mom!”

She puts her hand over mine. “No, just listen for a minute. I don’t want to forget and have to remember later.” She clears her throat. “I hoped your dad would sit you down, but the universe wants me to be the one who has to say everything. If you and Katelyn, or you and whoever, find yourself in a position where you want to explore, remember to only do so if she allows you to. If she says no or pushes you away, you listen to her. You respect her boundaries, at all times. You never pressure her into doing something she doesn’t want to do. And if you,” she pauses and looks around to see if anyone is listening. “If you want to have sex, use a condom. Be prepared because it only takes one time. I don’t want you to have to face such hard, life altering decisions, at a young age. And know you can always come to me or your dad for anything.”

She lets go of my hand and picks up her fork. Mom takes a bite of food like the conversation we just had, in the middle of the food court, didn’t happen. But it did, and I feel awkward. Do other boys talk about sex with their moms? I’d ask Liam, but I already know the answer. Maybe I should reach out to some of the other guys on the team and get their take. Hell, they can probably give me pointers. I know most of the guys on the team have hooked up a time or two, and a couple of them have steady girlfriends.

I don’t know why this is on my mind. I just want to take Katelyn out on a date. It’s not like we’re having sex in my truck.

Twelve

I’m mowing the lawn when my mom comes outside and waves her dishtowel in the air. I pull my Walkman from my waistband and take my headphones off. I don’t know why I bother trying to listen to music while doing the yard, the mower is too loud, and I can barely hear the music. Plus, the vibrations from the mower mix with the bass, and everything is just confusing.

“What?” I yell, and she frowns.

“No need to yell.”

I let her retort go. She’s never used a mower and doesn’t understand what it feels like or how it messes with all your senses. I make my way to the deck stairs and climb them. She hands me the towel she’s holding, and I use it to wipe my face and hands.

“Katelyn Cohen is on the phone for you.”

“Oh, okay.” I head inside with my heart thumping like crazy. As soon as I step inside the house, my heart starts beating faster, and the organ meant to keep me alive feels like it weighs a ton right now. I wipe my hands on my shorts, which isn’t smart since there are still some grass clippings on them, but I’m nervous. My mom sits down at the small table in the kitchen and picks up her magazine. Does she really need to be in here? She probably thinks I’m going to have phone sex or something.

“He—hello?”

“Hey, Mason.” Her voice sounds the same on the phone as it does in person. It’s sweet, caring, and causing an issue in my shorts. This can’t be normal.

“Hey, Katelyn. How are you?”

“I’m fabulous. I was wondering if you want to come over and go swimming?”

I do! I absolutely do! If my mom weren’t sitting in the same room, I’d ask her if she plans to wear another bikini because I really liked the first one.

No, I’d never ask her something like that.

“Yeah, let me ask my mom if it’s okay.” I pull the phone away from my ear and cover the receiver. “Can I go swimming at Katelyn’s?”

“As long as there’s adult supervision.” Oh yes, because you think I’m having all the sex!

“Hey, Katelyn. I can as long as there’s an adult there.”

“Yep, my mom is home. She said you can come over.”

“Rad. I’ll be there in like an hour. I have to finish mowing the lawn, but I’m almost done, and then maybe take a shower because mowing the lawn is pretty dirty with all the dirt and clippings shooting out the back end.”

Katelyn laughs. “That’s fine, Mason. Don’t forget to bring a towel!”

“Okay, see you soon.” We hang up, and I stand there for a minute to let it all sink in. She didn’t say anything about anyone else being there, so maybe it’ll just be us. And we’ll be alone. Except her mom will be there, and last time her mom was like a peeping Tom, spying on us. It was sort of creepy.

Mom doesn’t say anything either, but there’s a smirk on her face. I can’t tell if she’s happy I’m going over or if she’s biting the inside of her mouth to keep from having another sex talk with me. If I have to listen to her talk about sex one more time, my head is going to explode.

Back outside, I ditch the Walkman and restart the mower. I make sure to do the best job I can because my dad will make me do it again if I don't. Once I finish with the lawn, I take a shower, dress in my swim trunks and a T-shirt, grab my towel, and tell my mom I’m leaving.

My hand is on the doorknob, and I’m about to leave when she says, “Mason?” I close my eyes, knowing what she’s going to say.

“Yes.”

She sighs heavily and smiles. “Have fun. Call me if you decide to go somewhere else.”

I return her grin. “I will. Thanks.”

Being able to drive is so much nicer than walking. Katelyn doesn’t live far from me, but it’s enough that she and Josie went to a different school than Liam and me. In middle school, we were cross-town rivals. Our football team would play theirs, but we'd combine for some sports because there weren’t enough kids from each school to play. And now that we’re in high school, we’re one big family.

I park along the sidewalk, and instead of going to her front door, I go to the gate that Liam and I used last time. Katelyn is on a lounge chair, reading a magazine, and just as I expected, she’s the only one here. Maybe Josie will come later, or perhaps she won’t because Liam won’t be here.

The gate closes and latches behind me. Katelyn looks up and says, “Hi.”

“Hey, thanks for inviting me over. It’s a scorcher today.” I set my towel down on the lounger next to hers and sit down.

“Yeah, it is. I love summer. It’s my favorite time of the year. What’s yours?”

“Uh . . . fall?”

“Oh, right. Dumb question since you love football so much.”

I shrug. “Summer’s nice because we aren’t in school. But I love football season. And I love Halloween and Thanksgiving.”

“Well, you might as well throw Christmas in there.”

“For sure! Santa comes.”

Katelyn laughs. “You’re cute, Mason.” As soon as she says this, her cheeks turn pink. “Let’s go in the water.” She stands and makes her way over to the diving board. When she’s on the edge, she looks down at the water before diving in. I do the same, but I cannonball. “Oh my God, Mason, the splash you created was so big!” We swim to the shallow end and sit on the steps.

I shrug and flex. “I got muscles.” Now I’m blushing.

“I’ve noticed.”

Whoa! She’s noticed!

“I have a confession. Josie and I used to ride our bikes over to the park when you and Liam had a game, and we’d watch you play.”

“Really?”

She nods. “The first time I went, it was with my dad and a friend of his from work. They wanted to see Liam play because I guess he was doing some amazing stuff for his age or something. I tagged along. And then, the following weekend, Josie and I rode our bikes over and watched. We did it off and on for a couple of years.”

“That’s pretty cool. Okay, now I have a confession.”

Katelyn nods and waits for what I have to say. I clear my throat and look everywhere but at her. “I noticed you like on the first or second day of school but didn’t think you’d talk to a freshman.” While this feels stupid to say, it feels right.

“That’s crazy,” she says.

“Why’s that? You’re cute.”

She shrugs. “Because you have so many girls hanging around you all the time, I never thought you’d look at a freshman.”

It’s my turn to shrug. “Those girls want Liam, not me.” Katelyn eyes me warily, making me wonder what’s going through her mind. I know there are rumors about Liam, but I wonder if there are any about me. “I’m going to do another cannonball.” I get out of the pool and speed walk to the driving board. Katelyn is on the far end, waiting for me to jump. I do, and after I come up for air, she’s clapping.

“Seriously, awesome.”

“They’re so fun. You should try one.” Katelyn shakes her head. “Why? Are you a chicken or something?”

“Be nice, Mason Powell. I’m not a chicken. If I do one, my top will fall off and . . .” Katelyn does this awkward arm thing where she’s trying to cover herself. But all I can think about is boobies in the flesh. Her boobs, for that matter.

“Uh . . . I need to get out for a minute.” Instead of using the steps, I climb up the side ladder and rush to the chair where my towel is. I sit down and cover my shorts instantly. Katelyn comes over and lays back on the lounger. She raises one leg, and all I can see are water droplets moving over her skin. One tiny ball connects with another, and then another, to create a stream heading right for . . .

“I gotta go.” I jump up and rush to the door before she notices the issue in my shorts. Why does this have to happen to me? “I’ll call you later,” I yell without looking at her. In my haste, I leave my flip flops there.

I don’t look to see if she’s watching me pull away, and I don’t go home right away because I don’t want to have to talk to her on the phone. I need to figure this issue out because it’s becoming quite troublesome. I wish Liam were here. Maybe he’s going through the same thing I am and could give me some advice. No, that’s just stupid. He’s not interested in girls. I am. Like I really am. I blame my mother. If she stopped talking about sex, I wouldn’t think about it all the time.

As I drive around, I’m stuck with these questions and have no one to ask:

How do I kiss a girl? Because I really want to kiss Katelyn. Or any girl, for that matter. I want to know what it feels like.

If I want to touch her boob, do I just put my hand there? Katelyn has a nice rack.

What if I want her to touch me? Hell, I want to touch myself. It’s the only relief I can get!

How does sex work? Who teaches this? Is there a course we take in school? If so, I need to sign up because my hips have a mind of their own right now.

How does my body know what to do? It’s like the female body is a beacon for the tent maker in my shorts.

It’s times like these that I need a big brother!

I have to pull over because these thoughts are making the problem in my shorts worse. My dick, cock, unit? What are teenage boys supposed to call their penis?

Penis is too formal. “Hey, meet my penis.” That’s ridiculous.

Thing? Troublemaker? Thinker? I need help!

I look down and want to cry. He, who has no name, wants to be rubbed. He wants relief. I want relief. “Why is this my life right now?”

I’m a couple of blocks away from Willy’s, and that’s where I head. There’s a bathroom there, and no one will suspect anything because Willy is pretty sure people go in there to have sex while their car is getting washed.

Tally, a girl who graduated this year, sits behind the receptionist desk. She smiles, and boom. Yep, I’m going to be stuck like this.

“Hey, Mase.”

I try to keep everything as normal as possible, from the way I walk to my voice. “Hi,” I reply, but of course, it comes out in a squeak. It’s like my growing manhood is determined to mock me because it waves hi to Tally. What the hell?

Tally giggles.

That’s great!

I walk past her desk, and she says, “Have fun in there.”

I’m going to die.

In the bathroom, I pace. I tell myself that this is natural, but there has to be some way of flipping a switch. I can’t have a stiffy every day for the rest of my life. It’s not like I can raise my hand and ask my teacher if I can go to the bathroom so I can rub one out. That’s what I need to do right now. As much as I don’t want to, I have no choice. I need this to go away. And preferably not come back until I’m twenty-five or something.

There is no way I can watch what I’m about to do. I rest my forearm against the wall and lean on my arm, covering my eyes. My other hand has a mind of its own and is already gripping my shaft. Shit, that feels good. I don’t know how many pumps it takes, but when I’m close, I push my shorts down and grab some toilet paper to catch the outcome.

Did I really just jack off in the bathroom at work?

“You need help, Mason,” I mutter.

After cleaning up and leaving the bathroom, I find Tally waiting in the hallway. “Did you have fun in there?”

I shrug.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t tease you. We’ve all been there,” she says.

“I doubt it.”

“Believe me, Mase. Girls get aroused just as easily as guys do.”

I refuse to believe her. Besides, there’s zero evidence of it. With guys, you can see it.

“I was in your shoes, and I get it. If you have questions, let me know. I’ll help. There’s nothing worse than being afraid of your body and the changes it’s going through.”

“Okay.”

“And, if you need a lesson in how to kiss a girl properly. I’ll teach you.”

“You’d do that?”

Tally nods. “It’s for the greater good of all females. Besides, I’ve seen some of the vultures hanging around you and your friend at school. If I don’t teach you, they will.”

On my way home, I swing by Katelyn’s to apologize and pick up my flip flops. This time, I knock on the door, and she answers. “I’m sorry about earlier,” I say. “Would you like to go out for pizza tonight? We can walk from here.”

“I’d like that,” she says. “Hang on.”

Katelyn leaves me standing on her front step and when she returns, she has my shoes in her hand.

“Thanks,” I say, as I take them and slip them on. “Okay, I’ll be back around six. Does that work?”

“See you then, Mason.” Katelyn gives me a little wave and then shuts the door. I like her a lot and don’t want to come off as a jerk. Taking her for pizza is the least I can do for her inviting me over.

Thirteen

When I arrive at Katelyn’s, she’s sitting on her front stoop. Her house is sort of like mine with two stories, but where hers is white, mine is blue. Her house has shutters, and mine doesn’t, and while mine has a big, wraparound porch with a swing, Katelyn’s house just has a brick porch that isn’t big enough to do anything on. I figure she’s going to meet me on the sidewalk but stays sitting until I reach her.

“Do you want to meet my parents?” she asks. I don’t know, do I?

“I’ve met your mom, right?”

Katelyn nods. “Yes, but my dad is home. I didn’t know if you wanted to meet him.” I find her question to be odd. If her dad wanted to meet me, surely he’d come outside, or Katelyn would wait inside for me to knock. Right? I’m not sure what I’m supposed to say. I’m hungry and would like to go get pizza, and since Katelyn can’t ride in my truck, we have to walk. I should’ve asked my mom or dad to take us but didn’t think that far ahead.

“Maybe next time?”

Katelyn nods and stands. She goes to her front door, opens it, and yells, “I’m leaving.” Then, she pulls it shut and walks down the two steps. Damn, when I left, my mom wiped my face with her dishtowel and told me to go wash my hands because they had boy germs on them. Not sure what boy germs are, exactly, but I did what she said. And then she lingered by the door while I put my shoes on, and I thought for sure we were going to have another sex talk. Not sure where she thought Katelyn and I would have sex since she can’t ride in my truck, and I think public nudity and fornication are against the law. I may be wrong, though.

We fall in step next to each other when we reach the sidewalk. Katelyn holds a sweater over her clasped hands, and I keep my hands in my pocket. We walk in silence. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to say to her, and things feel awkward.

“So, do you like cheerleading?” I ask. I grimace after the words come out of my mouth because she must like it or wouldn’t do it.

“Yes,” she says. “This year is going to be different, though.”

“How’s that?”

“Well, normally, the squad doesn’t take freshmen, but because Josie, Candy, and I have gone to so many camps, the coach took us on the team. The older girls were not happy, but whatever. We worked hard to make the team last year. However, because coach took three freshman we will have a lot of girls on the team, so the coach told us at the end of year that when football starts in the fall, we all won’t cheer unless it’s a really big game.”

“Every game we play is big,” I tell her.

She gives me a sideways glance. “Like the away games. Some of us won’t travel to them. So we’ll send a smaller squad but have a full squad when you play at home.”

“Oh, I get it.” That’s a bummer she won’t be at all my games, cheering for me. But, whatever.

Katelyn shrugs. “Josie and I hope some girls will quit shortly after the season starts.”

“What makes a junior or senior quit?”

She looks at me oddly. “Last year, three girls got pregnant.”

My mouth makes the ‘Oh’ shape, but nothing comes out. This is probably why mom is worried about me having sex. “I must live in a bubble. I didn’t hear about any of this.”

“Wow, really?” She looks over at me. “Do you know Brian Williams?”

I nod. “Man, he hates Liam.” He loathes my friend because Liam made varsity as a freshman and took his starting job away from him. It’s not Liam’s fault he’s better than Brian. Liam’s a natural when it comes to throwing the pigskin down the field.

“He’s one of the fathers,” Katelyn says. “I think the baby is due anytime now.”

“Wait, what? This girl got knocked up by three dudes?”

Katelyn rolls her eyes and shakes her head. Clearly, I’m lost. “No, three cheerleaders are pregnant.”

“Oh, okay. So, Brian, who’s his girlfriend?”

“Taylor Brown, but they’re not together anymore.”

“How come?”

“I don’t think they were actually together when the deed happened.”

“That sucks.”

“She invited me to her baby shower, but my mom wouldn’t let me go.”

“How come?”

“My mom thinks I’ll want to have a baby or something. One of her best friends in high school had a baby during their senior year. At first, everyone doted on her friend, but then, things changed. She missed a lot of school and couldn’t hang out with anyone. No one wanted to be friends with the girl anymore, and she pretty much became an outcast.”

“I don’t get it,” I tell her.

“Honestly, me neither.” Katelyn sighs. “My mom is very overprotective. She shelters me because she thinks I won’t get into trouble if she doesn’t allow me to get into a potential situation. She even makes me watch afternoon specials about teenage pregnancy, the perils of drinking, and how boys only want one thing.”

“Pizza,” I say, hoping to change the direction of this conversation. Unfortunately, this subject makes me feel like I’m talking with my mom, and I’d rather not think of Katelyn and my mom as the same.

“Really, is that what you think about?”

I nod and point to the sign up ahead. “Do you think when they started their business, they couldn’t decide on a name, so they just went with pizza?”

Katelyn laughs. “Maybe. I don’t think I ever realized that they don’t have a real name.”

“Nope, just Pizza Parlor. At least that’s what the window and menus say.” I hold the door open for Katelyn and follow behind. She leads us to a booth, away from the door. The vinyl on the seat is torn and cracked. The booth offers some privacy in the sense that people sitting on either side of us can’t see us. I prefer to sit by the window when I come here, but this is fine too. It dawns on me that I should've asked if she wanted to go somewhere else since we’ve already been here, but I like pizza a lot. “Do you want to go someplace else?”

She shakes her head. “We can’t.”

“Sure, we can. There are other places.” I motion over my shoulder as if she can see out the door or window.

“It’s not that,” she says. “My parents know I’m here. So, if they show up or drive by and I’m not here, I’ll get grounded.”

“Seriously?”

She nods. “Overprotective, remember?”

“That seems excessive. What if this place was closed or so busy we couldn’t get a table?”

Katelyn inhales deeply. “I could call, but my mom would ask a lot of questions. Honestly, I’m good with pizza.”

“Okay, do you want pepperoni?”

Her eyes light up. “You remembered.”

I shrug. “It was easy to remember.” I wink. I don’t add that the reason I remember is that I liked watching her pick the pieces off her slices. At first, I found it odd. Why order a pizza with a topping if you’re going to pick them off and then eat the cheese slice? Then, I figured it’s just the way she likes to eat, and who am I to judge? I make my way to the counter and place our order. Right off, the clerk hands me a pitcher full of root beer, with two full glasses, on a tray. As steady as possible, I carry the tray over and set it down, and Katelyn moves the drinks to the table so I can take the tray back.

“So, what else have you been doing this summer?” she asks.

“Well, I’ve been working at Willy’s, but the hours haven’t been that great. Sometimes, I have to be there at six a.m., and I hate getting up early. He was supposed to give me full-time hours, but right now, it’s just part-time. What about you?”

“Reading. I’m trying to finish our summer reading list.”

I slap my head to my forehead. “Crap, I forgot all about that. I think I threw the little blue book away. I don’t understand why we have to work over the summer. It’s our time just to relax and do whatever we want.”

Katelyn chuckles. “I don’t mind reading. I like it a lot.”

“What kind of stories do you read?” I ask.

“Mostly Sweet Valley High novels.”

“I don’t remember seeing those on the list. Is the author the same as To Kill a Mockingbird?”

Katelyn chuckles. “No,” she says. “These are not on our reading list, but please don’t tell my mom I told you.”

Why would I tell her mom?

“I wouldn’t, but why not?”

“Because I have to hide them from her. She’d never approve. The content can be risqué.”

Katelyn reads questionable stories. Is it porn? I’m not sure how I feel about that. Liam and I found a magazine in my garage, but before we could look at it, my dad came in, and we had to pretend we never saw it. I’ve thought about going out when he’s not home and taking a peek, but I’m afraid of getting caught. And with the way my mom has been acting, that’s the last thing I need.

“How do you get them?” I ask.

“Josie gets them for me from the library. She checks out a few and shares them with me.”

Our pizza arrives, and our focus turns to our food. We each take a slice from the hot tray, and while I stick the food in my mouth, Katelyn sets her piece on a plate and uses her knife and fork.

“Are you going to play varsity football?” she asks.

I look at her and feel my brows furrow at her question. “I’m already on varsity.”

“Yeah, but don’t you have to try out every year?”

“Not when you’re as good as I am.”

Her mouth drops open. Thankfully, there isn’t any food in there, or I’d likely make a face, and that would embarrass her. “My mom says boys like you are cocky.” Her face reddens, and I’m guessing it’s because of what she said.

“I’m not cocky. I’m that good.” She says nothing, so I continue. “I’ve spent all but five years of my life competing with Liam, who is probably the best quarterback in the state already at only fifteen. I’ve played with him every year and have had to elevate my game to keep up with him. He’s naturally talented, whereas I have to work at it. Normally, we spend the summers at the park, throwing the football and running routes, but his dad sent him to some fancy camp this year. I fully expect Liam to come back and completely dominate every team we face, and I’ll be on his left, just like I have been from the first day, catching the ball and running through people. If that makes me cocky, well, I guess I am.”

I sit back and act like I just gave the best speech of my life. Katelyn stares at me and then takes another piece of pizza. She doesn’t say anything for a long time and then finally looks at me. “Do you know that you can’t mention football without mentioning Liam’s name?”

I didn’t know, but I do now. I shrug and reach for my own slice. “As I said, we’ve been playing together for most of our lives. Where I go, he goes.”

“But you don’t always go where he goes.”

I’m not sure what to do with that statement. I don’t want to get into the nitty-gritty of finances with her. I’m hoping that I can go to camp with Liam next year, but it’s unlikely. I’m not foolish enough to think we’ll go to the same college and play together until he goes to the NFL. And honestly, if we end up at the same college, that would be amazing, but it’s also unlikely. Big schools are going to come after Liam. They’re going to wine and dine him until he decides on where he’s taking his talent. I’ll be lucky for a mid-major unless something changes, and I become a huge star.

After pizza, I walk Katelyn home. Earlier in the night, I thought about kissing her, but now I’m not so sure. I walk her to the front door and tell her I’ll see her around. Her face falls, and as I walk away, I glance over my shoulder to see her watching me. I give her a small wave and then climb into my truck. She stays on the small porch until I pull away. I don’t know. I thought I liked her, but there’s something about today that makes me really unsure.

Fourteen

My boss, Willy, pats me on the back and says, “You’re doing a great job, Mason.” He smiles when he gives me this compliment, and it makes me feel good on the inside. When I first started, I wasn’t sure if I would like the job. It sounded fun: getting to wash cars all day, being out in the sun, and making sure the lot is clean. At least I’m not stuck inside like a couple of the other people I work with. Tally comes outside all the time, just to get fresh air. She says the salesmen fart in there, stinking the place up. She says they laugh after they bust ass, and it makes her sick. I can’t say I blame her because the guys on my team can let go of some nasty smelling shit, and I’ve definitely passed a few questionable odors from my ass, but for them to do it in front of a girl is uncool. My mom would whip my butt for sure if I did something like that.

I work with a couple of other guys from school. None of them play football, so I didn’t know who they were until I started. There’s Barry Leven, who played basketball. He likes to talk a big game, but he sat on the bench his senior year. And then there’s Curtis Walsh, who was the senior class President. He’s going to business school or something like that and plans to own dealerships all across the country. Every time I see him, he tells me that there’s money in cars, and he intends to make it all. Great for him. He asks me what I plan to do with my future. Like, I’m sixteen, how am I supposed to know this? I think at this point in my life. I’d like to graduate and play football somewhere. After that, who knows.

Today, I’m working with Barry. Curtis is here as well, but he’s chasing Willy around, bugging him about selling cars. Whenever he talks, I pretend to listen and nod along, but I do not really hear what he has to say.

Another car pulls in, and Barry sighs. “I wish Curtis would actually work.”

“Yeah,” I reply. Honestly, I don’t mind because Curtis talks too much, but Barry’s right. We’d get done faster if three of us worked on the same car.

“He’s so full of himself.”

I nod, hoping my silence tells Barry I don’t want to talk about Curtis.

Thankfully, Tally comes outside. Both Barry and Curtis like her, and I guess in some way, I do as well. She’s pretty and likes to flirt with me, which I like. “Hey, Tally,” I say as I wring out my chamois.

“Hey, lunch is here,” she says and motions toward the door.

“Okay, we just gotta finish these last two cars.”

Barry goes to the end of the road, sets out the “Car Wash Closed for Lunch” sign, and rushes back. He starts on the next car while I finish this one. As soon as I’m done, I go in, tell Tally she can let the owners know, and leave their keys with her. She’ll charge them and hand their keys back to them.

I go to work on the other side of Barry. We work quickly, both of us starving. Well, I know I am and am assuming Barry is. By the time we finish the last two cars, we’re famished. Barry’s stomach growls as we walk into the lunchroom. Tally eyes him and then shakes her head. She’s set out food on paper plates for us, which is nice. As soon as I sit down, I stuff a potato wedge into my mouth and emit an odd sound that has Barry and Tally looking at me.

“Hopefully, you don’t make that sound when you’re kissing your girlfriend.” Barry laughs.

“I don’t have a girlfriend,” I tell him.

“Really? You should come to my house tonight. My brother is throwing a party.”

“I’m going,” Tally says. “You should come. It’ll be fun.” She sets her hand on my forearm and looks at me.

“Who’s your brother?”

“Step, actually. He goes to prep. His mom is all weird about public school, but he plays baseball and knows a ton of your classmates.”

I nod and purse my lips, trying to act cool. I’m so not cool.

“You should bring your friend,” Tally suggests.

“Liam?”

She nods and winks. “He’s a cutie.”

“He’s away at camp,” I tell her, and her face falls. “Sorry,” I mumble. Clearly, she has a thing for Liam like the other girls at school. Barry goes back to eating. I’m curious about the party. I haven’t been to one yet, but I’d like to go. I always thought my first party would be with Liam, but I guess if he’s not here and I’m invited, why should I have to stay home. I shouldn’t.

“Where and what time?” I ask Barry.

Barry gives me his address and says most people won’t show up until after nine or ten and not to worry about bringing any booze because there will be plenty. Booze. I hadn’t even thought of that, but then again, what kind of party do I think I’m going to? One with the knitting club?

No, this is a party party. One where people will drink, say stupid shit, and do equally stupid things. And oddly, I’m all for it. I need to get out and live a little. It’s summer, and I feel like the only thing I do is sit at home and go to work. Liam left, so why should I sit around feeling sorry for myself? I shouldn’t.

It hits me that tonight, I’m going to lie to my parents. There is no way I can tell them I’m going to party. They’ll take my keys away and lock me in my room, or God forbid have another sex talk, but this time add in drinking and how irresponsible it’s going to be.

All night, I’ve paced. I don’t know how to curb the energy building inside. I finally figured out the lie and told my parents I was taking Katelyn to the movies. It was the only thing I could think of that they would agree with and not question. My parents gave me a curfew of midnight, which I think is awesome. It gives me a couple of hours to check out the party, play it cool, and then drive home. I have even practiced my line for the night when someone tries to hand me a beer, “Sorry, driving tonight.” I’ve seen it on a bunch of after-school specials, and it always seems to work. The only problem with the lie is I had to leave my house and find something to do.

I drive around Beaumont and decide to head to the cliffs, the place where everyone brings their girlfriends to make out. I hope to come here someday, with someone I’m dating. But the thought of kissing someone scares the crap out of me. How do you know when to lean forward? When to pucker your lips? And do I really want their tongue in my mouth? I shudder at the thought of swapping spit. The guys on the team say kissing can get pretty hot and lead to other things, but I don’t know. Being a teenager sort of sucks right now, and I wish Liam were here, so I had someone to talk to about all this stuff. I suppose I could talk to Barry, but I don’t know him well enough, and I don’t want him saying shit to others.

It turns out that Barry lives near the cliffs, which makes finding his house easy. I pull along the curb to the first spot I come to and make my way toward the front door. Again, I feel a bit of anxiety creeping in, wondering whether I knock on the door, ring the doorbell, or just walk right in. There really needs to be a teenager’s guide on how to be a teenager. Maybe I’ll write one when I’m older or something. Thankfully, others are approaching the door, and it’s easy to mix in with them. The only problem is, now that I’m inside, I have no idea what I’m supposed to do.

There are very few people in the living room, and most of the noise seems to be coming from the basement. I figure it’s through the kitchen and meander my way there. The stairwell is tight, with people coming up and going down. The closer I get to the bottom of the steps, the louder it gets.

“Mason!” My name is said loudly in my ear, and a pair of arms wrap around my neck. I try to look but can only see a head of blonde hair. “Tally?”

“Duh. Who else would it be?” she kisses my cheek and hands me a red cup. “Drink. Have fun. Let loose.” Tally leaves and disappears into the fray of people, leaving her half-empty cup in my hand.

Lovely.

I do what I think is normal and take a sip. Only I don’t actually drink the beer. It smells, and I’m not a fan. I walk around, bobbing my head to the music, and try to act like I belong. I don’t. I don’t know these people, and they don’t know me.

“Mason Powell?”

I glance over my shoulder and find four guys from the team. “Hey, guys.” We shake hands, but it’s not like the way you’d shake an adult’s hand. Instead, we clasp hands and sort of thump our shoulders into each other’s chests. It’s very manly and a cool thing to do.

“What the hell are you doing here, Powell?” One of the guys asks.

I shrug. “Just hanging.”

“Yeah, right on,” another says.

“Where’s that fucker, Westbury?” from behind the crowd, Brian Williams emerges. He lifts a bottle of beer to his lips and takes a long drink, and never takes his eyes off me. I look over his shoulder for his girlfriend but then remember Katelyn saying they’re not together.

I swallow the frog in my throat. “He’s at FSU,” I say. “Learning from Coach Bowden.”

All seriousness drains from Brian’s face, and the bottle slowly moves away from his mouth. Yep, that’s right, asshole. Liam is learning from the best.

“Bullshit. There’s no way that puny ass kid got an invite to FSU.”

I nod. “Yeah, he did.” I let that sink in for a minute and then tell the guys I’ll see them later. I don’t want to spend time with people who are going to bash on my friend.

I finally find Barry, who introduces me to his stepbrother, Nick Ashford. Nick and I talk for a bit. He asks about Beaumont High and tells me he wants to go there in hopes of getting a scholarship to play baseball.

“Our baseball team is good,” I tell him.

“Yeah, I’ve seen them play. I think I can be a factor in helping them win, though.”

“That would make the coach very happy.”

“I don’t know. I gotta talk to my mom. She’s against public school. She says the lack of education will rot my brain. She’s probably right. I saw Barry’s homework one day, and it’s already stuff I’ve done.”

“You must be smart.”

He nods. “I can remember everything. I’m going to be a doctor.”

“Cool. I’m probably going to wash cars for the rest of my life,” I say, laughing.

Tally comes up to us and takes our hands. “Come on, children. We’re going to play spin the bottle.”

“Spin the what?” Nick asks.

“The bottle, virgin boy.”

I pale, wondering if she’s talking about Nick or me. Tally puts us in a circle and explains the rules. If you spin, you must kiss whoever the bottle points to. If you don’t kiss within ten seconds, it’s an automatic French kiss, and if you don’t do that, Tally is going to give you a wedgie. None of this sounds fun, but whatever. I fear that if I stand up now, she’ll tackle me to the ground.

Yippee.

Tally spins first, and as luck would have it, it lands on me. Crap! She crawls toward me, with a wicked look in her eyes, and for the first time since I’ve met her, I’m scared. She beckons me with her finger. I start to move toward her, but she shakes her head and continues to crawl. When she’s in front of me, someone starts counting. I close my eyes, pucker my lips, and move forward, but nothing—no lips meeting mine. No anything.

When the person counting gets to zero, I open my eyes and wonder what the hell is going on. Tally smiles, sits back on her knees, and places both hands on my cheeks. Mom!

“Close your eyes, Mason.”

I do as she says because, honestly, I’m afraid of her. Her lips press to mine, and I think this isn’t so bad, but then I feel it—the wetness of her tongue. It pushes into my mouth and touches mine, and . . . holy shit. I have an instant erection, and my mind is going wild. It’s like my body parts are talking to each other, trying to figure out what they should do. My hands want to grab her ass, her tits, her hair—they want to be everywhere. And my—he still needs a name—wants to come out and be like, “Here I am!”

Tally continues to kiss me.

Lips moving against lips.

Tongues against tongues.

And then, she pulls away. She wipes at her bottom lip and then winks. “There, now you can think of that the next time you jack off,” she whispers in my ear.

When Tally is back in her spot, Nick elbows me. “She’s hot. Are you guys dating?”

I shake my head. “No, we work together.”

“Hopefully, you don’t have a girlfriend because I think that kiss would be considered cheating.”

“No, I don’t have one. You?”

He shakes his head. “Nah, not yet. There’s a cutie at the ice cream parlor I’ve had my eye on for a while. I’m going to ask her out.”

“Good luck, man!” We high-five because it’s the cool thing to do.

By the end of the night, I’ve kissed four girls, made out with another, and some soon-to-be senior stuck her hand down my pants to see what I was packing—her words, not mine. When I get home, my mom is waiting for me. I find her in her chair, reading her book.

“Did you have a nice time?”

I nod because I’m afraid I will tell her how nice of a time I had. “I’m tired. See you in the morning.”

“Good night, Mason. I love you.”

“Love you, too,” I mumble as I climb the stairs. It dawns on me when I get to my room that Katelyn could’ve easily called here, looking for me. If she did, my mom knows I lied.

Crap.

Fifteen

I don’t know what happened tonight, but wow. Just wow! I wish Liam were here so I could tell him, or maybe he would’ve snuck out and gone with me to experience the magic of a real teenage party. Either way, I need someone to talk to about tonight. I’m sure Tally will have plenty to say when I see her at work in the morning, and I bet Barry will pat me on the back and welcome me into the fold. I’m not sure what the “fold” is exactly, but I hear my dad talk about it often, so I figure it must be some type of secret group or society.

As I lay in bed, I stare at my ceiling and think about how my life shifted tonight. Earlier, I was a boy who had never been kissed and definitely never fondled, and now I’m a guy . . . guy comes after boy, right? . . . who has made out with a couple of girls and got a little hand action. When that girl put her hand down my pants and touched me . . . “Wow,” I say to my ceiling.

Up until last summer, I had glow-in-the-dark stars and moons on my ceiling. I don’t remember exactly when my mom and I put them up, but it was sometime in elementary school when we started learning about the solar system. Mom and I mapped out where everything would go and used my overhead light as the sun. The first couple of months after we put them up, I’d leave my light on all day so the stars and planets would shine bright at night. I used to love looking up and imagining what it would be like to go to space. For a while, I wanted to be an astronaut, but math isn’t my strongest subject, and you have to be some sort of wizard when it comes to that stuff.

Last summer, I took them down because I thought they were childish. I thought that when I finally brought a girl into my bedroom, she wouldn’t want to see something like that. But now, I miss them because the plain white ceiling looks boring and dull. I’m not tired, but I should try to fall asleep. The energy moving through my body right now is making me antsy, like I need to get out and run or do something to curb what I’m feeling. Now, I think I get it when the after-school special talks about drug use and why people have difficulty kicking the habit. I don’t ever want to stop feeling this way.

But how can I keep it going?

As soon as I close my eyes, Katelyn’s face pops into my mind. An overwhelming sense of guilt washes over me. Then, my eyes open, and once again, I’m staring at my ceiling while simultaneously making things up in my mind. I think Katelyn likes me, but it’s hard to say. I like her. I think she’s pretty. Does she want me to kiss her? What if I do, and she pushes me away? I think that would be embarrassing for both of us.

“Ugh,” I slam my hand down on my bed and groan. Life is frustrating. I thought the teen years were supposed to be fun, carefree, and without worry. And yet, worrying is all I do, and it seems to be about things I have no control over, like how Katelyn feels. Or if Liam is having a good time. I’m sure he is, and he’s probably forgotten all about me.

“Ugh,” I slam my hand down again, but now it’s because I’m mad at myself for thinking the worst of Liam. He would never forget me. We may not be related, but we’re brothers. He’s my very best friend and will be for the rest of my life—even when he’s super famous and breaking all the NFL quarterback records.

I give up on sleep and reach toward the lamp on my nightstand. I turn the light on, pull open the drawer, and take my tattered copy of The Outsiders out. My dad gave me his copy and said the kids he went to school with are just like the ones in the book. You have the popular teens, the rich ones, and then the kids that live across the tracks. It’s funny how life imitates art. Liam and I are the Socials. The kids everyone wants to hang around with, and there are Greasers at my school. Their parents are what people call blue-collar—working at the lumber yard or at the mill—which I think would be fun. I like to work with my hands. My dad works at the bank. He’s some executive or whatever, but my mom doesn’t have to work because of his job. Same at Liam’s. His douchebag father is a professor, and from what Liam says, students try to buy their way into his class. Probably sleep with Sterling too.

I’ve read The Outsiders many times. I should’ve told Katelyn this is my favorite book when we talked about summer reading, but I didn’t. I wish I had, though, and I think this is a good excuse to call her tomorrow and ask if she’s read it. If she hasn’t, maybe I can take her to the library to check out a copy. I know she can’t ride in my truck, but perhaps I can ask her mom nicely and explain that we’re going to the library to look at books.

I read until I start yawning. After I mark my chapter, I set the book on the table and turn my light out. I have work in a couple of hours, but only until noon. As soon as I close my eyes, the visions return. I have no choice but to let them play out like a movie. If counting sheep worked, I’d do it, but right now, the only thing I can count is the make-believe kissing that’s going on in my head because half the stuff my brain conjures up never happened. I bet this is how rumors get started.

If I have learned anything, it’s not to go to a party on a work night. Today sucked. No, it more than sucked, but I honestly don’t know how else to describe it without adding a bunch of swear words to give my crappy day more emphasis.

When I come into the house, my mom greets me in the doorway. “Katelyn called,” she tells me, and my heart falls to the floor. Would my mom ask her about our fake date? God, I hope not.

“Oh,” I say because I really have no idea what else I should say right now. “Wh—what did she want?” My words stumble over themselves. Can mom see that I’m nervous? Probably, she has a radar for everything.

“Just asked that you call her when you got home from work.”

I nod and make my way into the kitchen where the phone is. My steps seem heavy, weighted down by guilt. Damn, I can never tell another lie. After I pick up the receiver, I dial the number written on a notecard above the phone. My mom likes to keep everyone’s numbers in the same place—just in case.

Three rings, and she picks up. Her voice is excited. “Hello, Cohen residence.”

“H—” I clear my throat and start over. “Hi, Katelyn. It’s me, Mason Powell.” I wish I wasn’t so nervous. She already knows my last name.

“Hey, Mase,” she says. I’m not sure how I feel about the nickname, but whatever. My mom is hovering, and I don’t feel like getting into the finer details of how I’d like her to address me. “Would you like to come over and go swimming?” she asks. “It’s hot out, and I thought we could lay by the pool.”

“Okay, let me check with my mom. I just got home from work.” I set the phone down on my shoulder and glance at my mom. She’s pretending to wash dishes and probably doesn’t think I saw her look from over her shoulder toward me then out the window. She likely pinched her neck with her eavesdropping. “Mom, may I go to Katelyn’s to swim?”

“You saw her last night, right?”

Crap, did Katelyn hear that? I nod because the frog in my throat is preventing me from saying anything.

Mom turns and looks at me. “I’m okay with it as long as Mrs. Cohen will be there.”

I put the phone back to my ear and say, “Will—”

“Yes, my mom is home.” Great, Katelyn heard my mom.

“Thanks for the invite,” I tell her. “I’ll be over in a few minutes. With my towel,” I add before hanging up. I leave the kitchen and head upstairs to change and grab my towel. I spot The Outsiders on my nightstand and decide to bring it with me. I hope Katelyn’s read the book, and we can at least discuss the characters, and if she hasn’t, well, I’ll tell her all about it. But I’m not lending her my copy.

On the drive over to Katelyn’s, I think about what I will say if she asks what my mom meant about seeing her the night before. I’m going to assume she didn’t hear the conversation, and she just assumed my mom would want to know if her mom was home. This seems logical in my mind. I park along the curb, in front of Katelyn’s, and grab my things. The same conundrum is before me on whether or not I should go to the front door or the gate. I don’t know why it’s so hard to figure out, but I will ask Katelyn about it and see what the preference is. As soon as I hear splashing, I head to the gate, reach over and unlatch the lock to let myself in.

Katelyn looks toward the gate and smiles when she sees me. Her hair is wet and stuck to her back as if she just got out of the pool. I’m upset that I missed her diving into the water. The last time I was here and saw that she was a sight to behold. Maybe she dreams of being an Olympian diver or something.

“Hey,” I say, giving her a wave, which, when you think about it, seems sort of dumb. I drop my hand and continue toward the lounge chairs. “Thanks for inviting me over.”

“You’re welcome,” she says. I watch her lie down and bring her knee up slightly. Water droplets move all over her skin, and I find myself jealous of them. What would it be like to touch her? Would she want to touch me back? I really hate having thoughts like this. More so because I don’t know how to act, what’s appropriate, or how to tell if she even likes me. Maybe she’s just really nice and feels sorry for me because Liam is gone.

I sit down and mimic the way she’s lying. It must be comfortable. “Remember the other night when we talked about summer reading?”

“Yeah,” she says without looking at me.

“I don’t know why I didn’t tell you then, but this is my favorite book.” I hand it to her. She looks at the cover and then flips to the back. “My dad gave it to me.”

“What do you love about it?” she asks.

I shrug. “It’s sort of a manly story, I guess. It shows you what it’s like to have brothers, and since I’m an only child, it’s nice to see that dynamic. Don’t get me wrong, they fight, but whatever. There’s a girl in there as well, so it has that star-crossed romance thing I always see on my mom’s soap operas. You know the one where someone is from the wrong side of the tracks, but you can’t help but be in love with them?”

Katelyn flips through the pages and reads for a bit. “I think I’d like this.”

Well, you can’t have mine! “Maybe we can go to the library and check a copy out for you.”

She laughs and hands my book back. “I’m sure going to the library is high on your list.”

“It is, if it’s with you,” I say.

Her head turns, and she looks at me. “I invited you to go swimming.” Is this a reminder? “But if you’d rather go to the library, I can ask my mom to take us.”

“Do you think if I ask your mom if I can drive you, she will let me?”

Her face scrunches, and I can see she's trying to find a polite way to tell me no. Katelyn stands and reaches for my hand. “Only one way to find out.” She tugs me behind her until we get to the back door. I follow her into her house and up a small flight of stairs until we’re in the kitchen. That’s when she drops my hand and turns the corner into a nook. Her mom is sitting at the table, thumbing through a magazine.

“Mom, this is Mason.” Katelyn points to me, and I step forward to shake hands.

“It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Cohen.”

“You too, Mason.”

I clear my throat. “I know Katelyn isn’t allowed to ride in my truck, but I’m wondering if you’d be okay with me driving us to the library. I showed Katelyn my favorite book and suggested she read it.”

Mrs. Cohen looks at Katelyn. I expect to see fire shoot from her eyes, but I see nothing but kindness, which doesn’t really describe the way Katelyn talks about her mom. “You know the rules, Katelyn, but I’ll allow it this one time since you have books due.”

Katelyn rushes to her mom and tackles her with a hug. “Thank you.”

“To the library and back,” her mom says pointedly and looks at me over her daughter’s shoulder.

“Yes, ma’am,” I say.

Katelyn tells me she will meet me outside because she needs to get her books. I’m thankful she doesn’t have me wait in the kitchen because I don’t want to have an awkward conversation with her mom. Katelyn runs to my truck wearing a dress, but I can still see the ties from her swimsuit. She clutches her books in one hand and her purse over her shoulder. I hold the truck door open for her and wait until she’s inside before closing it and heading toward the driver’s side.

“I can’t believe she said yes.” Katelyn’s out of breath and gasping for air.

“It must be my charm.”

Katelyn snorts. “That or she doesn’t want to drive later. She has anxiety sometimes.” I can’t imagine not wanting to drive. Right now, I can’t find enough places to drive to.

It doesn’t take us very long to get to the library, and once we’re inside, we head to the young adult section and look until we find a copy of The Outsiders. After Katelyn checks it out, we’re on our way back to her house.

“I feel like I should’ve negotiated a stop for drinks or something.”

I laugh. “Don’t rock the boat.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

When we get back to the house, Katelyn tells her mom that we’re back, and then we sit by the pool. She’s holding her copy of the book in her hand and says, “We should read it together and discuss each chapter.”

“Okay, and then we can watch the movie. I think we can rent it at Blockbuster, but sometimes it plays at the drive-in.”

“I’d like that, but first, let’s swim. This heat is killing me.”

Katelyn stands, and she pulls her dress up and over her head and kicks her shoes aside. I stay where I am because from here, I can watch her dive. Plus, this vantage point allows me to stare at her without getting caught. She sashays away. Her hips move in such a way that it’s like they’re asking me to look at them. And I’m doing a ton of looking.

She climbs the diving board. It’s only two steps, but she makes it seem like it's more. When she hits the water, I shake my head, get up from the chair, and jump in the air to do a cannonball. Before I hit the water, I think I'm going to kiss her today.

Sixteen

Two people swimming in a pool is sort of awkward. Katelyn and I splash around, and we laugh, but each time I try to get close to her, she swims away or dunks under and then comes back up in the deep end. Maybe I’m reading her all wrong, and she’s not flirting with me and just being nice because she feels sorry for me that my best friend is gone for the summer. It could be that Katelyn’s using me since her best friend is working and she needs someone to spend time with. Either way, I’m confused. But I’m also cool with things if she just wants to be friends. However, I have to know.

“Do you wanna get some floaties or something?” I ask her, remembering she mentioned them before.

“Yeah, for sure.” Katelyn swims to the deep end and uses the small ladder to get out. I follow, figuring this must be quicker or easier than walking around. She walks to a shed and opens the door but doesn’t turn on the light. I step in behind her. She startles and starts to lose her balance. My hands land on her hips to steady her, and she turns slightly toward me.

“You scared me,” she says.

“I’m sorry.” I take in everything around us. We’re in a shed, with tiny light beams coming through the gaps in the wood. I haven’t moved my hands from her hips, and we’re alone. What more do I need?

I lean forward and press my lips to hers and then pull back when she gasps. Did I do something wrong? I try again, and this time neither of us pull away, and she doesn’t make a sound. Katelyn puts her hands on my forearms, and we continue to kiss. Or press our lips together. I try to put my tongue in her mouth because I really like that, but it’s like her mouth is locked down or she doesn’t want to French kiss. I guess it’s not for everyone.

“Katelyn, your mom—” The light goes on, and there’s a large gasp behind us. We both jump, and Katelyn looks down at the ground and then turns away. “Hey, Mason,” Josie says from the doorway.

“Hey.” I wave and offer a weakish smile. “We were just getting some floaties.”

“Uh, huh,” she says. I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed, but I’m pretty sure Josie doesn’t believe me, and I’m fairly sure she caught me kissing her friend. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do right now. Do I stand here? Head out to the pool? Grab an air mattress? Help!

Katelyn hands me a pink innertube. Without telling her that pink isn’t exactly my color, I take it and go back to the pool, and instead of being cool or smart about things, I toss the tube into the water and try to jump into the center of it. I miss, of course, and I am thankful water doesn’t hurt that bad when you land wrong. And I’m also grateful the inner tube is plastic and nothing harder because I could’ve given myself a concussion.

“Are you okay?” Josie asks when I surface.

“Yeah, just being dumb.”

“My mom says all boys are dumb, men too, and that they really don’t grow up until their eighty,” she replies.

Lovely, so I’m going to be stupid for the rest of my life.

Katelyn and Josie enter the pool, both using air mattresses to hold themselves afloat. But, seriously, why couldn’t I have one of those? I finally maneuver myself to sit in the center but hate that my feet are sticking out of the water. No one wants feet in their face all the time. I flip over, stay underwater for a few seconds to clear my thoughts, and then pop up through the middle. It’s a tight fit but manageable.

“I thought you had to work today?” Katelyn asks Josie.

“I did, but it was so slow they sent me home. I figured you’d be laying out and took my chance at coming over.”

“Do you like working at the ice cream shop?” I ask.

“I love it,” Josie says. “Except on Friday nights.”

“Why?”

“Because my friends show up and want to chat, but we’re always so busy that I can’t. Or some upperclassmen will come to my window, flirt, and expect free ice cream. They get so angry when I tell them I can’t do that.”

“That’s rude of them,” I say, and Josie nods.

“It’s a thing, apparently,” she says. “The owner said he used to do it when he was in high school, long before he bought the place, of course. What about you, do you like your job? I saw you washing a car the other day.”

“Yeah, it’s fun. Hard work and sometimes my arms hurt, but I like Willy. He’s a good boss.”

“I wish my mom would let me get a job,” Katelyn interjects.

“How come she doesn’t?” I ask.

Josie chuckles, which I find odd.

“Remember earlier when I told you my mom has anxiety?”

I nod.

“Right, well, she thinks I’m going to get kidnapped or something. I think it has to do with the books she reads. I don’t know. Like, right now, she’s in the kitchen, watching us. She acts like I can’t see her, but I know she’s there.”

“At least your mom cares, Katelyn. Mine,” Josie pauses and shrugs. “Mine thinks I should make all my own decisions and live with the consequences.”

“Well, my mom is somewhere in the middle,” I tell the girls. “She definitely cares but is trying to give me the freedom to do things. But I know she worries about me and what I do, more so since I started driving.”

“Oh my gosh, Josie!” Katelyn squeals. “My mother let me ride in Mason’s truck today. He asked her if we could go to the library to check out his favorite book.”

“Did you actually go, or did you go to the cliffs to make out?” Josie teases. Katelyn splashes her with water, and I just float there, wondering if I defend Katelyn’s honor or say anything at all.

“Yes, we went. Don’t be a jerk,” Katelyn says.

“Well, you guys were getting hot and heavy in the pool shed.”

Hot and heavy? Clearly, Josie hasn’t been to a party yet because then she’d know there wasn’t anything hot and heavy about what Katelyn and I were doing.

Katelyn glances at me, and I wink. She blushes a little, or she’s overheated from embarrassment. Either way, I hope she knows I want to kiss her again—next time, with tongue.

The girls and I float around for a bit and then decide to lay out in the sun. I’m a third wheel and wishing Liam was here so I could have someone to talk to. I suppose I could leave and let the girls do their thing. They’re talking about some character they both like, and since I’m out of the loop, I have no idea if he’s from a book or television show. Honestly, if he doesn’t play football, I probably have no idea who he is. After I’ve dried off, I tell them that I’m going to head home. I thank Katelyn for inviting me and tell her I’ll call her later. I want to think I will, but she’s getting harder to read the more time we spend together.

When I reach my truck, Katelyn yells my name and continues to follow me until she’s standing with me at my driver’s side door. “Thank you for telling me about your favorite book and taking me to get a copy.”

“You’re welcome.”

“And thank you for parking this way.”

I look at her oddly. “Which way?”

“With your truck door facing the street.”

“Okay. Why?”

“So, I can do this.” Katelyn rises onto her tippy toes and presses her lips to mine. The kiss is short, sweet, and completely changes my mind on whether she likes me or not. “If you don’t call me, I’m going to call you, Mason,” she says this so pointedly that I believe her. Before I can say anything, Katelyn runs back to her house and disappears behind the fence.

When the phone rings, I spring off the couch to answer it, knowing it’s going to be Katelyn. “Hello?”

“Hi, Mason,” she replies. I’m happy she didn’t call me Mase but have also thought that if she did it again, I’d be okay with it.

“Hey,” I say in a somewhat hushed tone. I press my shoulder against the wall, blocking my parents from seeing me. They’re both sitting at the table, and the only phone is in the kitchen. I wish I had one in my room.

“Do you want to meet me at the movies?”

Is this a date?

“Do you want me to ask your mom if I can drive you?” I ask, remembering how things worked out for us earlier.

“No,” she whispers, and that’s when I get it. She doesn’t want her mom to know we’re meeting. Okay, I can play this game.

“All right, what time is the movie?” I don’t even care what we see because we can sit in the back and make out. It’s not ideal, but it’s unlikely anyone will see us in the corner, and if they do, no one really cares. Katelyn tells me the time, and I say I’ll be there. After I hang up, I realize I didn’t ask beforehand. It would really suck if my parents said no.

They’re both looking at me as I approach the table. My dad is smiling. It’s like he already knows that I want to go hang out in a dark theater with a cute girl, and my mom looks like she’s about to jump up and lock me in a room. How can parents be so different?

“Is it okay if I go to the movies with Katelyn?”

“Sure,” my dad blurts out.

But my mom raises her voice over his and asks, “What are you seeing? What time does it start? When will you be home?”

I tell my mom what time and then try to recall all the movies out right now and pick one out of thin air, hoping it’s close to the correct starting time if she decides to look in the newspaper. I suppose if I’m wrong, I’ll tell her we changed our minds or something. Geez, when did I become such a liar?

“Have fun, son,” Dad says. My mom looks at him sharply. I leave the kitchen before she can say no but hear her say my dad’s name. I have a feeling he’s in trouble for letting me go. I don’t wait to see if he will cave to my mom and change his mind. I grab my keys and head out the door.

On my way, I stop for a pack of gum. I left in such a rush that I didn’t brush my teeth, and if I’m going to kiss Katelyn, I want to make sure my breath is minty fresh. I pop a couple of pieces in and continue to drive toward the theater. I hope she waits for me outside or right inside the door so I can pay for her. It’s only right, even though she asked me to meet her. A man should pay for this date.

When I get to the theater, I drive around for a bit, looking for a parking place. Between everyone coming in for the next round of shows and those leaving, the lot is congested. I finally find a spot toward the back of the parking lot, behind the theater. It could be the perfect place for some alone time with Katelyn, in my opinion, if it can ever happen. I’ll have to ask when I see her when she’ll be able to ride in my truck again. Hopefully soon.

I run most of the way until I reach the steps of the theater. Katelyn isn’t standing outside, which is fine. If her mom dropped her off, I’m sure she would wait until her daughter went inside, especially if she fears Katelyn might get kidnapped. That fear seems irrational, but what do I know, I’m not a parent.

Katelyn’s not inside the ticket area either, which sort of sucks because I wanted to pay for her. I glance at the reader board and find the movie we’re seeing and pay for my ticket. Inside, I find her sitting on the bench. At first, she seems excited to me, just as I am to see her. Her expression changes, though, and I suspect it’s because I see Josie sitting next to her. Katelyn comes toward me.

“Hey,” she says.

“Hey.” I don’t know if I should be upset or not. She didn’t mention Josie, and I sort of feel like she should’ve been like, “Hey, come out with Josie and me tonight,” but she made it seem like it would just be us. And as upset as I am with her, I find myself wanting to hold her hand. Hopefully, we can at least do that in the theater.

“I’m glad you could come.”

“Me too. Do you girls want some popcorn? Something to drink?” I’m taking what my dad calls the high road. He says he has to do it a lot when he’s stuck in a board meeting with Sterling Westbury.

The three of us make our way to the concession stand and order a large popcorn to share, and we each get our own drinks. We find some open seats, and Katelyn sits between Josie and me. She rests her arm next to mine, and it’s like we’re almost holding hands. I like it, and I believe that I like her. I’m just not sure what to do about it or how someone tells the other person. Do I blurt it out? Send her a note? Buy her flowers? Or do I start by asking her on a date or two? I might have to be the one to ask her mom, though, since it worked so well earlier.

Seventeen

Because of work, I don’t get to see Katelyn for a few days. When I do, it’s mostly sitting around her pool, and most of the time Josie is there, or if we’re really lucky, Mrs. Cohen is outside with us. I tend not to stay too long when Katelyn’s mom is outside because things go from awkward to weird. The girls started talking about Homecoming this one time and wanted to go dress shopping before all the good dresses were gone. Instead of volunteering to take her daughter and her daughter’s friend, Mrs. Cohen said, “Nothing good happens at those dances.” Um, I beg to differ. At our eighth-grade formal, I danced with a couple of girls, and lots of things happened . . . down there. Of course, those things will get me kicked off the Cohen property if I say them aloud.

I’ve started inviting Katelyn over, but it’s the same excuse each time—"My mom won’t let me.” I’m not sure she even asks or just assumes the answer is going to be no. My mom wonders why and asks if I did something to make Mrs. Cohen dislike me. My dad suggested my mom even call Mrs. Cohen, but I begged her not to. I don’t want Katelyn to get into any sort of trouble over this. I’ve thought about giving up and moving on, but I like her, and I really enjoy spending time with her. We may not get to spend much alone time together, but we hold hands when we are in the theater, and at least Josie has stopped teasing us.

It’s odd, but I find myself looking forward to school starting. I think mainly because Katelyn’s mom won’t be lurking around any corners, and Liam will be back. The double bonus is that Josie will stop asking when he’s coming back. I don’t know how many times I’ve told her I don’t know the exact date, but it’s sometime in August before daily doubles start, which I am not looking forward to. I haven’t done any of my off-season workouts. I haven’t run, lifted, studied the playbook. I’ve done nothing but sit by the pool and wash cars. I’m in rough shape, and the coach will kick my ass if I’m not ready to go when he blows the whistle.

That’s why I’m up at six a.m. this morning—to run. I need to get my mile time down to something reasonable, but I also need to be able to run five miles without dying. I know better than to slack off, especially with Liam away, training with the big dogs. I’m going to have to keep up with him, or I’m going to find myself riding the pine, and that’s the last place I want to be.

Ever since I met Barry’s stepbrother, Nick, we’ve hung out a couple of times. He’s sort of a nerd, like super smart and all that, but easy to talk to because he likes sports. Even if he only talks about baseball, at least he understands football. The other day, he stopped by Willy’s, and I asked if he ever went running. He told me every day, which is how I found myself a running partner.

Nick and I agreed to meet at the school and run from there. When I pull into the parking lot, he’s by his car stretching. I suppose I should do that as well. “Morning,” I say as I hop out.

“Yeah, nothing good about being up this early,” he says.

“Nope, not unless you’re going camping or going to get in line for concert tickets.”

He laughs. “This one time, we camped overnight for a parade. It was crazy. So many people were doing it. It was like a massive street party.”

“That sounds fun.” After we finish stretching, we start down the sidewalk in an easy jog. He tells me he’s talking to his mom about transferring to Beaumont High, but she’s not budging. “What’s so good about prep school?” I ask him.

“Education, I guess. But, mostly, I think my mom likes to stick it to my dad and make him pay for useless shit. I also think she likes that she has a new husband and a kid away at boarding school.”

“Wait, you don’t live here?”

“Nope, just here for the summer, then back to school, and for Christmas break, I’ll go to my dad’s house in Colorado.”

“That’s crazy,” I say to him. “Why do you want to go to BHS?”

“Because it’ll piss my mom off, and I’m all about upsetting her these days. Plus, there are some babes in Beaumont, and I’d like to get to know them. And, BHS has an amazing baseball program, and I’d like to win a title and try to get a scholarship.”

Minus the issue with his mom, I agree with him on everything else. “Is your school really strict?”

Nick laughs. “Only the first week of school, then the teachers give up on trying to keep the opposite sex out of each other’s rooms.”

“Oh, wow. I’m not allowed to have a girl in my room unless I keep the door open.”

He laughs again. “Same, but no one listens. Prep school is one giant party, with a bunch of rich kids who don’t care what their parents think.”

It sounds like a place Liam would want to go.

Our five-mile run takes us over an hour. I’m bent at my waist and sucking wind when we get back to the parking lot. “I’m so out of shape.”

“You’ve spent too much time sticking your tongue down girls’ throats,” he says. “I’m having another party this weekend. I’ll tell Tally to play seven minutes in heaven.”

“What’s that?”

Nick chuckles. “I’m starting to think no one in Beaumont does anything fun. It’s when you go into the closet with someone and do whatever for seven minutes.”

“How much can two people do in seven minutes?”

“A lot,” he says as his eyes go wide. “We get bored at school and do a lot of crazy shit. But, with the wrong person, seven minutes can seem like a lifetime. See ya tomorrow, Mason.” With that, Nick gets into his car and leaves me in the parking lot, with my mind reeling about everything he just said. I get the impression that Nick knows what he’s talking about. Maybe I should ask him how I can move things forward with Katelyn.

Instead of driving home, I go to Katelyn’s. It’s still somewhat early, but I’m hoping to catch Mrs. Cohen in a good mood after she’s had her coffee. At least, that’s how my mom is. I never ask her something important until she’s had at least one cup.

Mrs. Cohen answers after one knock. “Mason. Hello.”

“Good morning, Mrs. Cohen. Is Katelyn home?”

She eyes me warningly before leaving me at the door. It would’ve been nice of her to invite me in, but I get it. She probably thinks I’m an ax murderer or something. A minute or two goes by, and Katelyn finally comes to the door.

“Hi,” she says as she steps outside, closing the door behind her. “What are you doing here so early?”

“Are you going to be in trouble because I’m here?” She shakes her head and crosses her arms over her chest. “I thought if I caught her in a good mood, she’d let you go on a date with me.” I reach for Katelyn’s hand. “I’d like to take you to the movies. Preferably to the drive-in, where we can be alone.”

Her fingers squeeze mine. “She’ll never go for it, Mason.”

I nod and start to pull away. I really like this girl, but I feel like her mother is in the way. “When are you allowed to date?”

“She says eighteen. My dad says sixteen. He’s more reasonable than she is, so let me talk to him. He’s still home. Can I call you later?”

I lean forward and kiss her. She gasps and covers her mouth. “I’m sorry.”

“No, I don’t think you are,” she chastises me with a smile. “Go before she comes out here and beats you with her slipper.”

“Call me,” I say over my shoulder.

“I will, right after I talk to my dad.”

The front door opens before I even get to my truck, and Katelyn’s mom stands there. “Get in this house, missy.” I imagine Katelyn’s rolling her eyes, but then I think I might have really gotten her into trouble. Not that I think Katelyn minds.

Once I’m home, I shower quickly and then join my mom in the kitchen. “I have to tell you something,” I say to her while she’s washing dishes. The water splashes, and I realize she’s dropped something into the soapy water.

“Oh, okay.”

Her voice is funny. “You okay?”

“Mhm.”

I take the orange juice out of the fridge and grab a glass. After I pour and drink it, I say, “I kissed Katelyn, and her mom saw.”

A plop into the sudsy water, and an “Oh sweet Jesus” follows. Then, “Mason, you better hope you didn’t get that girl into trouble.”

“With a kiss?”

Mom turns toward me. Her hands drip water and bubbles onto the kitchen floor. “You’re going to be the death of me, boy.”

I smile, move her hands back to the water and stand next to her. “I like her, Mom. I don’t know what else to do. I’d like to take her out on a date, but her parents are so strict. Her mom says she can’t date until she’s eighteen. I don’t want to wait that long.”

“That’s just ridiculous,” Mom says. “I get trying to protect your children, but that’s just asking for trouble. The poor girl is going to end up lying to her parents if they don’t ease up.”

Like me!

The phone rings and I go to it. “Hello.”

“Hi, Mason. My Dad said I can go, but he will drive us, or I can meet you someplace.”

“What if I want to take you to more than one place?”

Katelyn sighs. “I’m sorry.”

“Okay, how about this. We’ll go to the mall. At least there, we can see a movie, get something to eat, and play games at the arcade.”

“I like the sound of that. Can I meet you there? I think it’ll be awkward in the car with my parents.”

“Sure,” I tell her. Although I’d much prefer to drive her, I don’t want to upset her or make things uncomfortable. “How about six? We can get dinner and then catch whatever movie is at seven-thirty or eight, then the arcade and ice cream?”

“I’ll see you at six,” she says and hangs up.

“Be on your best behavior,” Mom says after I hang up. Then, she goes back to washing the dishes and mumbling something about dying early.

After work, I shower, dress in a nice pair of jeans, and put on a dark blue button-down shirt that my mom bought me for school pictures last year. It’s a little snug, but I can make it work. I roll the sleeves until a little and spray my cologne where Tally suggested. She told me that I not only need to look nice but smell nice as well. She also said I need to beat Katelyn and her parents to the mall so I can open Katelyn’s car door. Tally says it’ll send a good message to her parents that I’m serious about her. I’m not sure if I’m serious about anything other than football, but I’d like to make a good impression.

I’m standing outside the mall entrance when a car pulls up. Katelyn waves from the front window. I step forward, open the door, and duck so I can wave to her mom. “Hi, Mrs. Cohen.”

“Mason,” she says curtly. Yep, impression or not, this woman doesn’t like me. I suppose it should bother me, but right now, it doesn’t.

Katelyn gets out, tells her mom she’ll see her at eleven and slams the door shut. We don’t wait for her mom to leave before Katelyn is pushing me into the mall. “She’s insufferable.”

I don’t know what that means so I just nod. “You look pretty,” I tell her. Tally also told me I need to compliment Katelyn.

“Thanks. I wanted to wear a dress, but then I remembered you said arcade and figured jeans would be better.”

“I like them.” I don’t, really. They’re just jeans, but I’m complimenting, like Tally said. I take Katelyn’s hand in mine and ask her, “Is it okay if we hold hands?”

She nods and steps forward. “I think we should kiss too.”

I look around, we’re at the mall, with a bunch of people walking by. This might not be an appropriate time, but she doesn’t care. Katelyn kisses me and I don’t stop her. Our lips move back and forth until I try to put my tongue in her mouth. She stops and pulls away.

“Sorry.” I step back and put a little distance between us.

“It’s okay.”

But is it? Is French kissing bad or something?

After we eat pasta for dinner and go to the movies, we stop for ice cream before going to the arcade. I exchange my dollars for tokens and hand a bucket to her. “What games do you like?”

“The racing ones,” she says.

“Cool, let’s go race.”

We have to wait a couple of rounds before it’s our turn. Katelyn wins the first, I claim victory on the second, and we both lose to the computer on our third try. We then move on to shooting basketballs, which neither of us are good at, and finally she challenges me to a football throwing game.

“Are you sure about this?” I ask her.

“Yes, all these games are rigged.”

She has a point, but I have excellent aim. I put my token in and wait for the balls to wobble forward. I pick up the first and fire it through the hole, the second as well, and on and on. When my time expires, hundreds of tickets are coming out of the machine.

“Holy crap. Do it again,” she says as she watches the tickets spew out.

I put another token in, and the same thing happens. Katelyn and I exhaust both buckets of tokens on this game. When I’m done, she takes the tickets to the counter to turn them in. I expect that she’ll be able to get a tootsie pop, but the guy behind the counter tells her she can pick a stuffed animal, much to her glee.

Katelyn jumps up and down and claps her hands as the man hands her an elephant. It’s cute, with big ears and a large trunk. She holds him to her chest before she rises onto her tiptoes to give me a kiss.

“Thank you. I love him.”

“You’re welcome.” I never knew something as simple as a stuffed animal could make a girl smile so brightly. The alarm on my watch sounds. I turn it off and look at the time. “We have ten minutes to get you to your car.”

“Or I’ll turn into a pumpkin,” she says as we start walking out of the arcade. I don’t know what she’s talking about, but it doesn’t matter. She has her elephant held against her chest, her hand on my bicep, and her head resting on my shoulder. “This was a really great first date, Mason. Thank you.”

She’s right. It was.

Eighteen

Over the past few weeks, Nick and I have run every morning. My mile time is better than last year, and five miles is nothing anymore. He finally convinced his mom to let him enroll at Beaumont High, which is pretty awesome. I think Liam is going to like Nick and vice versa. Liam will be home soon. I saw his mother at the grocery store and asked if she knew where her son was. She looked at me like I had three heads and answered that he was in Florida. Honestly, I was pretty shocked she even spoke. Usually, she just stares and then ignores people. I can’t imagine what goes on in the Westbury house with Liam gone.

Right now, I’m sitting at the table, finishing my summer reading assignment. Katelyn convinced me to read with her, which I appreciate because if she hadn’t, there was no way I would’ve read the five books necessary for English class. Katelyn and I are dating now. I guess that’s what you call it. I think there’s some unwritten rule that I have to ask her to be my girlfriend or go steady with me—I don’t know. Dating has a lot of rules that are hard to follow, and honestly, they’re confusing. I’m supposed to call if I say I’m going to call, which I get, but I also don’t understand. What happens if something comes up? Do I have to call her to tell her I’m not going to call because I decided to hang out with my dad? I asked my dad, and he said he doesn’t understand women. So, I asked my mom, and she said she doesn’t understand teenagers. I’m flying blind here. I could ask Katelyn or even Josie, but I fear their answers would be skewed to what they want from a guy and not some unbiased opinion.

My job at Willy’s is awesome. I’m making a ton of money in tips, which I save for when Katelyn and I can go out. One night a week, usually Friday or Saturday night, we go to the movies, out to dinner, and to the arcade. It’s all her mom will allow at the moment, but I’m hoping we’ll be able to do other things once school starts. Like, go to the cliffs. I also want Katelyn to meet my parents. My mom suggests Katelyn come over all the time, but her mother never lets her. It’s a battle, and I’ve asked myself if this relationship or whatever is going on between us is worth pursuing. I like Katelyn, but it sucks that her mom is so strict. Her dad is more lenient, but he works out of town a lot. Sometimes, when Katelyn and I are talking, she tells me she thinks about running away and that once she leaves Beaumont, she’s never coming back. I feel sorry for her. I can’t imagine leaving and never coming back to see my parents.

I’m ready for football to start. However, I’m not looking forward to double sessions. Thankfully, our morning practice will be at seven in the morning, long before it gets too hot outside, and coach said we’ll break and come back around five when it’s cooled down. The schedule works for me because I can still work at Willy’s and probably sneak a nap in at some point during the day. I’m going to be sad to leave, but there’s no way I can work, go to school and play football. I’ll probably go back after we finish the season though because I like the money. Barry is getting ready to leave for college, which is a bit sad. We had a great summer, and I’m going to miss him, although I imagine I’ll see him when he’s home. Nick likes to have people over because it pisses his mother off. I’ve met her, and she’s nothing like he describes. I think she’s nice and just wants the best for her son. As for Tally, she says she’s going to community college but hasn’t filled out any of her paperwork yet. I know this because it’s sitting on her desk at work. She calls herself a procrastinator and says she’ll get to it when she gets to it. I guess college isn’t that important to her, and maybe she likes working for Willy’s.

I finish writing my last essay and close the blue booklet the English teachers sent home on the last day of school. My mom asked if I needed her to proofread my essays, and I told her no. They’re not graded. We just have to show that we read over the summer and retained some of the stories. I do wonder, though, if Liam read while he was at camp. Did Coach Bowden make all the students read books like Moby Dick, or do the playbooks count on the summer reading schedule? Something tells me that Sterling, the Dick, found a way to get Liam a pass on the whole reading thing. I wouldn’t put it past him. Regardless, I’m ready for Liam to come home. For one, I’m sick and tired of Josie asking about him. I don’t know how many times I’ve had to answer her question with an ‘I don’t know’. One time, I suggested she go over to his house, but then I took my words back. I know Sterling Westbury well. He’s very much the Soc of Beaumont, while Josie’s family are the Greasers. I can’t tell her this though, because it would be hurtful, and I’m not sure she’d understand. I don’t understand most of the time.

I take my reading log upstairs to my room and set it into my backpack so I don’t lose it or forget it on the first day of school. My copy of The Outsiders sits on my nightstand next to my newly installed telephone. We read a chapter each night, but only for twenty minutes as that’s all Katelyn’s mom allows. Since I introduced her to the world of Ponyboy Curtis, we’ve seen the movie once and read the book twice.

Today is my last day of freedom because tomorrow—football. The first couple of days will be conditioning and non-contact, and then we’ll put our pads on, sweat our asses off, and prepare to defend our state title. The scuttlebutt from Allenville is that they’re gunning for us. The rumors going around town are that they’re looking to take a few of us out, making sure we have season-ending injuries. It’s not cool to say, but kids talk. Parents do as well. When you hear a mom or dad yelling “Get ‘em” from the stands, you know they want their son to tackle the crap out of whoever has the ball. And if the kid with the ball doesn’t get up, they’ll clap, mumble some crap about being sorry, and encourage their kid to get the next ball carrier. I know this because my dad has heard it a time or two. It bothers him, and he knows it’s not going to get any better, at least for the next couple of years.

The doorbell rings, and Mom yells, “I’ll get it.” I stay at the top of the stairs, wondering who is at the door. I know it’s not Katelyn, but it could be Josie. She comes over sometimes when Katelyn can’t have company. She hangs out here, tells me her darkest secrets—most of them are about Liam—and talks about how she wants to go to design school because she wants to be a florist. Not just any florist, mind you, one who does weddings for celebrities. I didn’t know such a thing existed. Josie knows how I feel about Katelyn and how I’m teetering on what I should do. She tells me to be patient because to her, Katelyn is worth it. I don’t know if anyone is worth it at sixteen, but what do I know.

“Liam!” My mom’s surprised voice has me stumbling toward the stairs. I’m halfway down when I see someone who looks like Liam but doesn’t, in the doorway.

“Hello, Mrs. Powell.” He glances toward me and waves. “Is Mason available?” Liam is always polite, even when his life is in shambles. His dad could’ve criticized him for not throwing for a hundred yards, and Liam would still say please and thank you, yes ma’am, no ma’am. It’s odd because you would think he’d be a jerk just like his father or a robot like his mother.

“Whoa,” I say when I get a load of him. “What happened to you?”

Mom rests her hand on my shoulder. “I’ll let you boys catch up. Come on in, Liam, and make yourself comfortable. I just pulled some cookies out of the oven. I’ll bring you boys a plate.” Mom steps away, and I step to the side so the hulking form of Liam can stroll through the door.

“What did they feed you in Florida? Gator?”

He laughs. It’s deep and bellowing. He looks more like a wide receiver than a quarterback. Maybe we have to trade positions. Liam goes to the couch and sits down, and I sit opposite him in my dad’s recliner.

“How was your summer?” he asks. It’s like he doesn’t realize how much he’s changed.

“Good. I worked a lot at Willy’s, met a new kid named Nick, and hung out a lot at Katelyn Cohen’s. Josie Preston still asks about you.”

“Josie? Yeah, she’s a cutie.”

“Okay,” I say as I hold my hands up. “Who are you, and what have you done with my best friend?”

He laughs again. “That camp was life-changing.” Liam shakes his head. “At first, I was homesick. The weather sucked, the guys weren’t mean, but they were brutish, and Coach B, man, he’s a hardass. But after a week of being in their routine, everything clicked. I got to work one-on-one with FSU’s quarterback coach. He changed my drop step, the way I release, and taught me how to read the field to run with the ball if needed. They showed me how to lift weights, gain good weight, and maintain a proper diet.”

“Does that mean you can’t have cookies?” Mom asks when she comes into the room. She sets a tray down with cookies and two glasses of milk.

“No, ma’am, I’ll always make room for homemade cookies,” Liam says. I think this is the most he’s ever spoken to my mom in all the years I’ve known him. He leans forward and takes a napkin and cookie but doesn’t eat it. I do the same and stuff that sucker into my mouth in one bite.

“What did I miss around here?” he asks.

I shrug. “Not much. I went to a party.” I lean closer to Liam so he can hear me. “I made out with three different girls, and one of them touched . . .” I use my eyes to signal toward my crotch. I smile and nod because, yeah, I’m still proud of that moment. “Other than that, I kissed Katelyn. I actually kiss her a lot but nothing heavy. We’ve been out on a couple of dates.”

“There were girls everywhere on the weekends,” he tells me. “I saw some crazy shit.”

“Whoa, Liam Westbury cusses.”

He doesn’t even blush or drop his head. This camp changed my friend, and I’m not sure how I feel about it. I definitely wanted Liam to come out of his shell, but he’s not only come out, he’s shed the thing on the side of the road and changed entirely.

“Liam Westbury does a lot of things that he never used to. One of them is talking about himself in the third person.” He laughs. “Camp was good for me, Mason. It really opened my eyes to what is out there. I can see myself playing for Coach Bowden someday.”

“I’m happy you’re back,” I tell him. “Without being mushy, I missed having you around this summer.”

He nods. “I’m happy to be back. I’m ready for the season to start. Sterling said Allenville has been talking some trash.”

“Yeah, my dad said the same thing. I guess it’s parents who use the bank or something. I don’t know. It doesn’t matter because with you as our starting quarterback, Allenville doesn’t have a prayer.”

Liam finally eats his cookie and then another.

“I thought you were going to bypass those,” I say to him.

“No way. I do watch what I eat, but thanks to the guys on the team, I’ve discovered beer, and I like it. A lot, unfortunately. It’s probably in my genes since my mother is an alcoholic. It just means I have to work out more to keep from getting a beer gut.”

So, Liam drinks now. Great!

“Do you want a ride tomorrow? Practice starts at seven?”

“Yeah, pick me up at my house, though. Sterling can suck it.”

“Whatever you say.”

Liam ends up staying for dinner. He jokes with my parents all throughout the meal, and he thanks my dad for always having his back. It was a tender moment between them. One, I’m sure my father appreciates.

Nineteen

It’s Friday, and finally, the first week of daily doubles is over. My body aches in places I didn’t know existed. I think I tore something. I’m pretty sure I have a broken bone somewhere in my body. I may be missing a rib or two. And I probably have a concussion.

But all in all, this week was amazing. The smell of fall is in the air, and personally, I love fall. I mean, who doesn’t love Friday night football under the lights, the roar of the crowd at kick-off, and the sweet sound of victory?

After a shower, Liam and I head toward the parking lot. I like that he no longer cares what Sterling says and lets me give him a ride home. And these past couple of nights, Liam has called, and we’ve hung out. Sterling is always in the doorway yelling each time I get to his house, but Liam doesn’t seem to care. I don’t know what went on at that camp, but it definitely changed him.

Liam elbows me when we get to the parking lot. I look at him, and he nods toward my truck. There, stands two very cute cheerleaders, one of whom is leaning against the bumper with her foot propped against it and her pom-poms resting on the hood.

“Damn.”

“Yeah,” Liam says. This is also new. He’s noticing girls. It’s nice because now when I say I think someone is pretty or looks nice, he has a reply. He also walks with his head up. He’s not staring at the ground or mumbling. Liam Westbury has come out of his shell, and I think it’s a good thing.

We pick up our pace, and when we get to the truck, I see that Josie is standing similarly to Katelyn, only she’s against the passenger side door. Liam doesn’t hesitate and goes right to her and sets his gear down in the back of my truck. I’d like to eavesdrop on their conversation, but I need to have one of my own with the cutie in the front.

“Look at you, all cute in your outfit.” She is cute. Adorable, in fact. I lean down and kiss her. It’s quick because that’s all she’s willing to give me. I want more but have decided to wait and see if things progress. The party ruined me. Had I not gone, I wouldn’t know what I’m missing.

“I saw you playing earlier. You can run fast.”

I chuckle. “Anyone can run fast when someone is chasing you.”

“Does it hurt when you get hit?”

I lift my helmet and pads and shake my head slightly. “Not really. These things protect all my vital organs. But I can still get bruises, especially to my ego.”

“You can’t bruise your ego,” she tells me.

“Oh, yes, you can.” I don’t want to get into the specifics of what can bruise my ego, though. “What are you doing here?”

Katelyn motions toward Josie. “We had practice.”

“Really? I didn’t see you on the field.”

“We were in the gym so we could use the mats for tumbling and the pyramid. It doesn’t hurt so bad when you miss a step and land on the mat. I guess falling is sort of like you getting hit in football, except we don’t have anyone chasing us. Unless you count coach yelling.”

“Our coach yells too, more so when someone is chasing us.”

Katelyn laughs and then places her hand on my hip. “I have something to tell you.”

Now, Barry says, when your girlfriend says this, you’re supposed to swallow hard and prepare for the worse because usually, the words that follow mean your life is about to change. I didn’t tell him that Katelyn and I weren’t having sex. I also ignored him when he teased me about getting my dick wet.

“Okay?”

“My parents had a long talk, and they’re easing up on some of my rules.”

“Oh yeah?” Not to be selfish, but I hope I benefit from this.

Katelyn nods. “I can ride in your truck now, which means I can date.”

I’m excited but also nervous. Does this mean she wants to go steady with me or date someone else? Did she use me all summer to prove to her parents that she’s old enough to hang out with guys?

“So, what does that mean?”

Katelyn laughs. “I told you, Josie, that he wouldn’t get it.”

I forgot Josie was here and glance over at her and Liam. They seem to be getting to know each other, and it makes me wish Barry was still around to throw another party. Nick is still here and planning to come to BHS, but I’m not sure he’d be up for hosting if his brother isn’t home. However, it might be worth a call.

“Boys are dense, Katelyn. Sometimes, you have to spell it out,” Josie stares intently at Liam, and when she tilts her head, he does the same and smiles. I would really like it if they got together because then I wouldn’t feel like a third wheel when I’m with Katelyn and Josie is there.

Katelyn tugs on my shirt to get my attention. “What Josie is saying is that if you and I wanted to go to the movies, you could drive me. Like a real date.”

I feel like a light bulb has gone off for me. Finally, we can make out in my truck!

“Are you saying you want to go out with me tomorrow night?”

Katelyn bites her lower lip, and holy hell, the sight of her causes a stirring in my pants. “Yes, I do.”

“All right.” I lean down again and kiss her. The temptation is there to try and take things further, but I don’t want to get rebuffed in the school parking lot. “Do you want a ride home today?”

She shakes her head. “I don’t want to make Josie walk home alone.”

“I think all four of us can fit.”

“Okay, then.”

After another kiss, I ask, “Would you like to come to meet my parents? They’d really like to meet you.”

Katelyn nods. “I want to change my clothes first because first impressions are everything.”

“Let’s get you home then.”

Katelyn asked that I drop her off first because she wanted to shower and change before meeting my parents. After I stopped at her house, Josie was next, and then Liam’s.

“What do you think of Josie?” I ask him.

“She’s cute and has a rocking body. I like that she’s tall. Katelyn’s so short she makes me feel like a giant when she’s next to me.”

Personally, I like that Katelyn’s short. I feel protective of her. “We should double date,” I tell him. “We know all four of us can fit in here.”

Liam shrugs. “Sterling would disapprove.”

“He disapproves of you breathing. I thought you didn’t care anymore?”

“I don’t, which makes the fact that she lives where she does even better.” Liam looks out the window, and I process what he just said. This is not the guy I know and consider my best friend. He would never use someone to hurt his dad. “I had a really good time talking to her today. I’m glad they were there when we got out of practice. I think I might call her tonight.”

“Please, don’t,” I say.

Liam looks at me and frowns. “I thought you wanted to double date?”

“I do. Did. But then you said that shit about where she lives, and I don’t want you to use her to piss your dad off because I like Josie. We spent time together this summer. She’s pretty awesome. I don’t want to see her hurt.”

“I don’t give two shits where she lives, Mason, and even if Sterling does, that wouldn’t change my opinion.. I genuinely want to get to know her better. Truth be told, I thought about her while away at camp and wondered what it would’ve been like had I stayed here. Would she like me the same way Katelyn likes you? I’m glad I got to go to the camp, but I feel like I lost the summer to hang with my friends. You made these new friends, and I feel like I’m tagging along with you while you hang out with them. I’m never going to be like Sterling, Mason. You should know this.”

I pull into his driveway and put it into park. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I made a Sterling assumption. For what it’s worth, I missed having you here all summer. Some stuff happened, and I didn’t have anyone to talk to. Embarrassing stuff too.”

Liam laughs. “Like what?”

“Well, Katelyn invited me over to go swimming, and she dove into the pool and then climbed out and things . . .” I trail off.

“I saw a ton of tits and ass at this camp, Mason. Those college girls like to party. I’m ready to be like those guys at camp. They didn’t care about anything.”

“You’re fifteen.” I remind him.

“Not for long,” he says. “I heard Sterling talking on the phone. He’s buying me a truck for my birthday.”

“That’s awesome.”

“First thing I’m going to do is take Josie out on a date in it.”

“Might want to ask her first.”

Liam reaches for the door handle. “You didn’t finish your story.”

Crap. “I gotta stiffy and left. I went to Willy’s to rub it out. The worst part is—I left my flip-flops there and had to go back and get them. Of course, her mom answered the door.”

“You don’t like her mom?”

I shrug. “Her mom is strict, like Sterling strict. But I also get the impression that she doesn’t like Katelyn. I don’t know. It’s odd.”

Liam lets himself out of the truck and before he closes the door, he says, “I’m up for a double date thing tomorrow if you want to go.”

“All right. Better call Josie before someone else swoops in,” I say, laughing.

“See you tomorrow.” Liam grabs his gear from the back and then heads toward the back of his house. I wait until I can’t see him and then back out of the driveway and head toward Katelyn’s. When I pull up, she’s sitting on the porch. She doesn’t wait for me to get out of the truck to greet her.

“Hey, you look nice. Why were you waiting outside?” She’s wearing a dress, and her hair is down.

“Thanks, and it’s because my mother is pitching a fit that I’m going to your house. But my dad said I could ride in your truck and go out, so that’s what I’m doing.”

I frown and start driving toward my house. When we get to the stop sign, I tug on her arm until she’s sitting next to me. She sat here earlier, and I liked it a lot. I really hate that she has a bad relationship with her mom. I love my parents and can’t imagine not getting along with them.

I pull into my driveway, park, and shut the truck off. I help Katelyn out of the passenger side and hold her hand until we get inside. “Mom? Dad?”

“In here,” dad yells from the kitchen. We go in and find him sitting at the table alone. “Where’s Mom?”

“Knitting club,” he tells us. “Hello, Katie.”

Katie?

“Hello, Mr. Powell.”

“Wait, you know my dad?”

Katelyn nods. “He opened my savings account.”

I look at my dad questioningly. He shrugs. “Sometimes, it’s nice to play along when your son wants to bring a girl home.”

Okay, dad. “I’m going to show Katelyn around.” I give her a tour of the main level, and I take her outside and show her the old tire my dad strung up between two trees. I tell her this is where Liam and I learned how to throw the ball, and then back inside, I show her the basement. Finally, I take her to my room.

“I’m sorry it’s a mess. I hadn’t planned to have someone over.” I sit on the edge of my bed and watch her as she looks at everything. She touches my trophies, looks closer at the pictures of Liam and me, and reads the plaques hanging on my wall. Katelyn finally comes toward me, and before she can sit down, I reach out and pull her to stand between my legs. From this vantage point, we’re at eye level. “Can I ask you something?”

She nods.

“How come you don’t want to kiss me?”

“What are you talking about? I kiss you all the time.”

“I mean, really kiss me.”

Katelyn’s eyes drop, and then she says quietly, “I heard rumors about you.”

“Rumors? What kind?” People talk about me?

She shrugs. “Josie heard from Candy that she heard you went to some guy’s house and had sex with a bunch of girls.”

Whoa! What?

Heat rises in my cheeks. I imagine they’re as red as a tomato right now. “I really like you, Katelyn, so I’m going to be honest. I kissed a couple of girls, but nothing more, and it was before I ever kissed you. I haven’t kissed anyone since you.”

Katelyn nods, and then a tiny smile starts to form. “I have a question. Well, it’s more like a statement.”

“Okay?”

She inhales deeply to settle herself. “My mom thinks you were using me all summer because we have a pool.”

Jesus, I’m sixteen. Do people my age use people? “I don’t even know how to use someone. I came over because you invited me, and I like spending time with you. And I want you to be my girlfriend. Do you want to be my girlfriend?”

Katelyn nods, and the tiny smile turns larger. “I’d like that.”

“Now, can I kiss you?”

She nods and leans closer. We press our lips together, and after a few seconds, I put my tongue on her lips, hoping to encourage her to open her mouth a little more. She does but pulls back briefly when our tongues touch. I pull her to me and press my chest to hers—everything shifts. Katelyn opens to me, inviting me in. When our tongues touch this time, everything is different.

We’re different.

Twenty

It’s early. The sun is barely up, and I’m wide awake thinking about the first day of school. We’re sophomores now. No longer fresh meat. No longer victims of hazing pranks. And no longer afraid to walk down the “senior” hall. It feels good to have those worries off my chest, not that I worried too much because making varsity football as a freshman and starting as running back sort of puts you on a pedestal. It shows I’m not someone you want to mess with, especially since I can bulldoze anyone in my way. Still, I feel like I’ll be untouchable when I walk into school today.

After I shower and eat breakfast with my mom, I’m in my truck with the window rolled down and the radio blaring. I’d like to take the money I have saved and put a sound system in, but unless I put a box in the back where the bed is, the speakers will have to go behind my seat, and I’m not sure how I would feel with bass-thumping against me each time I drive. Other guys drive cars like Camaros or Mustangs—something with legit trunk space to put speakers. I guess in hindsight, I could’ve gone for a sedan, but I think my truck is way cooler, especially when you can toss a couple of sleeping bags in the back and watch the stars.

Last night, I called Liam and was so thankful he answered. I hate asking for him when his dad or mom answers the phone. I told him I would pick him up in the morning after grilling him on why he hadn’t asked Josie out. It’s probably a good thing I didn’t say something to Katelyn about Liam being interested in her friend because what a letdown this past week would’ve been for Josie. Liam’s been silent when she’s around, almost as if he’s gone back to pre-camp Liam. He said he wasn’t ready. I get it. It took me a bit to realize how much I liked Katelyn, but once I admitted that to myself, all bets were off. She’s all I think about, day and night. I’ve even had a couple of dreams about her, which required some lotion and a sock. I haven’t told her about those dreams because I think they’d freak her out. Besides, I don’t think I want her to know what I do in my bedroom at night. It’s bad enough my mom caught me in the act before. Before we hung up, I reminded Liam that the first day of school would be the perfect opportunity to ask Josie out. This way, by the time the weekend rolls around, the girls can figure out what we’re doing. I don’t have any problems making plans for Katelyn and me, but add two more into the mix, and I’m out. I’ll happily drive if someone else tells me where to go.

As I pull up to Katelyn’s, she’s walking out of her house. She’s dressed in her cheerleading outfit and has her book bag resting on her shoulder. “Hey, pretty girl,” I say as she approaches the truck. “Are you ready for school?”

“Not really,” she says. She puts her bag into the truck through the window and then steps away. “Can you take my bag to school?”

“And not you?” I ask, laughing.

“I want to walk with Josie. I don’t want her to be alone.” Katelyn starts walking. I let my foot off the brake and keep pace with her.

“I told you, I’d pick her up.”

“It’ll be too crowded.”

“It’s less than a mile to school. Get in. We’ll be fine.” Only Katelyn doesn’t. She keeps walking. I speed ahead, park, and then jump out of my truck to meet her on the sidewalk. The first thing I do is kiss her. I didn’t get to see her yesterday, so this is long overdue. “Will you please get into the truck?” I ask when I pull away. “I don’t want you walking, especially in this short skirt of yours. I’ll happily pick Josie up.”

“Promise?”

“Of course.” I go to touch her hair, but she slaps my hand away.

“My hair is crunchy from hairspray. These damn curls have to hold until the assembly is over.”

I hold my hands up. “Good thing I can still hold your hand and kiss you.”

Katelyn smiles and leans into me. “I do like the kissing.”

“And the touching?” I ask her quietly, even though I’m certain no one is listening from their doorways or windows.

She bites her lower lip and nods. “I very much like the touching.”

It’s weird, not knowing what to do with someone you like. Neither of us has any experience of anything sexual, yet we want to try with each other. The other day, she showed up at my house. My parents weren’t home, so I took advantage of the lack of adult supervision and touched her boobs. Katelyn let me, and I haven’t stopped thinking about that moment since.

We get back into the truck, stop to pick up Josie, and then make a stop at Liam’s. He climbs in, mutters a quiet “good morning,” and then stares out the passenger side window. Yep, it’s definitely awkward in here. Maybe Liam doesn’t like Josie after all.

“The parking lot is packed,” Josie says when I pull in. She’s right. For the past two weeks, I’ve been able to park anywhere I wanted because only the football and soccer teams were here, but now that everyone is back at school, parking is limited.

“This is why walking is better,” Katelyn says.

I shake my head. “There is nothing good about walking, especially when you have to carry football gear and a backpack.” I expect Liam to agree, but he doesn’t say anything. I find a spot toward the back, making our walk a bit longer. The only blessing in all of this is when I leave after practice, I won’t have a long line of cars to wait behind.

When we get out of my truck, Nick is there, parked beside me. “Hey, man,” he says when we make eye contact.

“Hey, finally enrolled, huh?” He told me that his mom kept changing her mind about where he would go to school.

“Yeah, took forever, but I’m here.” I watch as Nick checks Josie out. Oh boy. “Hi, I’m Nick Ashford,” he says to her. “I saw you at the ice cream shop over the summer.”

“Hi, I’m Josie.”

“Nick, this is my best friend, Liam.”

Liam gives Nick a small wave.

“Yeah, I heard about you. My stepdad talks non-stop about what a phenom you are. It looks like we’ll be teammates for baseball. Probably vying for who will start on the mound for opening day.”

Liam’s eye meets Nick’s. I expect Liam to say something, but he doesn’t. I can’t tell if he’s thinking really hard or about to explode. He finally says, “Right,” and turns toward the school.

Katelyn and I follow, holding hands as we walk toward the building. Liam is a few steps ahead, with Nick on my side and Josie next to Katelyn. Inside, the girls go to their lockers which are in a different hallway than mine and Liam’s. We’re next to each other again, which I appreciate. We’re putting our stuff away, and when I turn toward him.

“Okay, what’s going on?”

“What are you talking about?”

“The shift in your attitude. When you came back, you were a changed dude. And now you’re sullen, moody, and not speaking to anyone. Nick was trying to talk baseball to you, and you just stood there. And I thought you liked Josie.”

“I do,” he says. “And I don’t like Nick. He hasn’t even made the team, and he’s talking about starting on opening day. Who the fuck does he think he is?”

I think I like moody Liam better. “Someone good at baseball, Liam. You can’t pitch every game,” I remind him. “And if you like Josie, I suggest you ask her out because I think Nick likes her as well, and if you expect someone as cute as her to be single for long, you’re fooling yourself. And I like Nick. We hung out over the summer. He’s a nice guy.”

Liam shuts his locker door. “I plan on asking Josie to homecoming,” he tells me. “It’s just I want to make sure I have my truck. I want to be able to drive her. As for your friend, Nick, there’s something about him that rubs me the wrong way. He looked at Josie like he wanted to eat her.”

“Well, maybe show a little interest in her first.” I didn’t notice Nick in that way, but if this is how Liam feels, I’ll respect it. You’re supposed to follow your gut feelings and all that.

“Yeah, okay. See you later for lunch,” he says as he heads toward his class. Liam, Josie, and Katelyn will have classes together. Nick is more intelligent than anyone I know and has classes with all seniors. It sucks not having classes with my friends, but maybe next semester can be different if I work hard.

It’s Friday night, game night. The lights are on, even though the sun is still out. Liam and I, along with some of the other offensive guys, are on the field early. Coach is feeding balls through the passing machine for us while Liam works with the quarterback coach. When our mock practice is over, I meet Liam on the sideline.

“Are you ready?” I ask him.

“Without a doubt. I don’t ever plan to lose a game.” This is unrealistic, but I agree with him.

I nod toward the sideline, and he turns. The cheer squad is practicing. They go through their routines, where they’re supposed to stand, and the girls climb onto the guys' shoulders on the team. The guys are usually the ones who throw the girls into the air. Until I met Katelyn, I had no idea cheer was a competitive sport, but she told me that there are competitions all over the country for squads to compete against each other.

Katelyn turns and finds us staring. She waves, and I decide to go to her. “Hey,” she says as she rises on her tippy toes to kiss me. “That’s for good luck.”

“Thanks, but I think you cheering for me all night is all the luck I need.”

She giggles, and I love the sound of it. “After you win, maybe we can go celebrate before I have to be home?”

Yes! “Of course, we can.” I lean down and kiss her again. “Hey, I have a question for you.”

“What’s that?”

“I sort of assumed we’d go but should probably ask anyway. Do you want to go to homecoming with me?”

Katelyn smiles big and nods. “I’d love to.”

“Perfect.” I motion toward the field. “I should probably get back out there.”

“Score a touchdown for me, Mason.”

“I’ll do my best.”

The few of us that are out here make our way into the locker room. The coaching staff hypes us up. They pound on our shoulder pads to encourage us, guys beat their chests with their fists, and as a team, we gather around our captain with our helmets held high. We chant and wait for our cue to come out of the locker room. Everyone has something to say to Liam. He’s the one who will guide us to victory.

When the marching band starts playing, we run out of our tunnel, to the roar of the crowd and through the cheerleader’s pom-poms. I need to find out where Katelyn stands so I can be on her side for the next home game.

We stand on the sidelines and wait for introductions. I look into the stands and find my parents. My dad holds a sign with my name on it, and my mom has one for Liam. I elbow him to show him.

“I appreciate that,” he says. He looks around, trying to spot his parents. I don’t see his mom, not that I expected her to show up, but his dad is talking to some reporter on the field.

“Sorry,” I mutter, and he shrugs.

“It’s fine. Sterling needs his five minutes of fame too.”

From the moment Liam takes the field, we lead the game. Our defense keeps our opponent from scoring while we rack up fifty-six points. Liam throws three touchdowns, has a quarterback sneak, and I end up rushing for four. After the game, our stats coach pulls me aside and tells me that I had over four hundred yards rushing, and if I keep this up, I’ll break records. That’s something I never thought I could do.

Twenty-One

The phone rings shortly after seven fifteen in the morning. I hear my mom answer and wish the caller a happy birthday. Right then, I know it’s Liam. Unless, of course, someone else we know has a birthday today. Within seconds, my mom hollers for me to pick up the phone. I head to my nightstand and lift the receiver and yell, “I got it, Mom.”

“You don’t have to yell,” she says. “I’m still on the line, and now I’m hanging up.” Liam chuckles. It’s a good sound to hear from him.

“Happy birthday. How does it feel to be sixteen?”

“Awesome, and thanks. I wanted to let you know that I don’t need a ride to school today. Sterling is taking me for my driver’s test this morning.”

“Right on. I hope you pass.”

“If not, I’m sure Sterling will pay someone to make sure I do. He doesn’t think I should have to live like a pauper and bum rides from you.”

Asshole. “You know I don’t mind driving you around. You’re my best friend. It’s what friends do.”

“You’re mine as well, Mason. So, I’ll see you at school. Sterling already called Coach and told him I would be gone in the morning and not to hold it against me.”

“Coach would never. Can you imagine the uproar if you didn’t start on Friday?”

“Yeah,” he says. “I thought he’d spring for something new, but he didn’t. Whatever.

“Hey, did you get a truck or a car?”

“It’s a truck and if it helps me escape him, I’ll take it.”

“All right, man. See you when you get to school, and good luck.” Liam and I hang up, and I go back to getting ready. He still hasn’t asked Josie out, and I’m starting to think he’s lost interest, which he’s entitled to do. I just wish he’d say something so I can tell Katelyn to stop asking whether Liam likes Josie.

I finish getting ready, say goodbye to my mom, and head to my truck. Like with every day, since school started, I go to Katelyn’s to pick her up and then to Josie’s. When I don’t turn down the road to get Liam, both girls look at me.

“Did you and Liam get into a fight?” Katelyn asks.

“No, he’s gone to take his driver’s test. He’ll be at school later.”

“Phew,” Josie says, and Katelyn starts to laugh.

“I’m sure he’ll be at school by lunchtime,” I say when we come to a stoplight.

“Then you can ask him,” Katelyn says to Josie.

“Ask him what?” I ask.

Katelyn looks at me and smiles. “She’s going to ask him to homecoming.”

“Oh.”

“What do you mean, ‘oh’?”

I shrug. I’m not really sure what I mean, but it sounded like the right thing to say. It’s not like I can tell Josie that Liam thought about asking her but hadn’t. I don’t know what’s going on in his mind. “I just think boys should ask girls to dances unless it’s the Sadie Hawkins dance.”

“You’re old-fashioned, Mason,” Josie says.

“So, what’s wrong with being traditional?”

Josie sighs. “Nothing, I guess.”

We pull into the parking lot, and I let the girls out near the pathway so they don’t have to walk that far. Usually, they wait, but this morning, Josie goes ahead. After I park and meet up with Katelyn, we walk into school together. When we get to her locker, she leans up against it and pulls me to her. Our bodies press together, and we make out, right there in the hallway for all to see. This is how high schoolers do things—out in the open because we’re not allowed to be like this in our homes. Parents do everything they can to prevent their teens from exploring sexuality, forcing us to put on a public show.

“Break it up, Mr. Powell,” someone says from behind me. I can only assume it’s a teacher because I don’t turn and look.

“One of these days, they’re going to call our parents,” I say to Katelyn.

“And my mother will probably send me to a convent.”

I don’t find this funny at all. “Well, I guess that means just a peck here and there.”

Katelyn glares. “Don’t you dare deprive me of what I enjoy.”

“Never.” I kiss her again and tell her to have a good day. We’ve mapped out our paths to our classes so we can at least see each other in the hallway. We have lunch together and are trying to plan a free class period next semester as well. When we see each other in the halls, we pass notes back and forth. If any of them were to be confiscated by a teacher, we’d be in a world of trouble. Katelyn tells me how I make her feel when I touch her in certain places, and I tell her where I’d like her to touch me. We don’t get much alone time except when we go to the drive-in theater. We throw a couple of sleeping bags in the back, and once it’s dark outside, we let our bodies do all the talking. I’ve come to realize that Katelyn turns me on. All I have to do is think about her, and I’ve got a stiffy.

By the time lunch rolls around, I’m starving. Not only for food but attention from Katelyn. When I enter the cafeteria, she’s sitting at the table that we made ours last year. I set my tray down and then kiss her. “Where’s Josie?”

“Talking to Liam in the hallway.”

I grimace.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing,” I say. “I don’t know if he likes her.”

“Yeah, I sort of get that,” she says, which surprises me. I thought she’d bash Liam since Josie’s her best friend. “Nick likes her. We have chemistry together, and he doesn’t shut up talking about her.”

“Does Josie like him?”

Katelyn shakes her head. “She constantly talks about Liam, which I get because he’s cute and that moody, sullen thing he does is attractive in the I’m damaged sort of way.”

What in the hell did she just say? “You find him attractive?”

“Not like I find you attractive. You’re hot.”

I give her a sideways glance, and she makes things better when she kisses me. “Are you ready for Saturday?”

“What’s Saturday?”

She hits me lightly on my shoulder. “Homecoming.”

“Yes, because we can slow dance all night long.”

“There’s a strict no kissing, groping, or dancing provocatively policy.”

“I don’t even know what provocatively means.”

Katelyn laughs. “It means no dirty dancing.”

“This dance sounds boring.” I don’t really care about the dance. It’s important to Katelyn, which makes it important to me. We can sit on the stage all night for all I care. I’ll be happy as long as I’m with her.

There’s a squeal behind me, and Katelyn’s eyes go wide. “I’m going to homecoming with Liam Westbury,” Josie says. Katelyn stands up, they hug and start jumping up and down. Liam sits down next to me, and we fist bump.

“We have to go shopping for a dress tonight,” Katelyn says, and then she turns to Liam. “You could’ve asked last week.”

He turns red. He opens his mouth and then closes it. I put my hand on his shoulder and give him a little shake, letting him know I’ve got his back.

“The timing is perfect,” Josie says as she looks at Liam. “I’ve had my eye on a dress for a couple of weeks and had them put it on hold, but we can go tonight with my mom and try on a bunch.”

This makes Katelyn happy because the girls are jumping and squealing again. “Did you pass?”

He nods. “I drove to school. I’m going to take Josie home after practice.”

“Sounds good to me. More time alone with Katelyn is not a bad thing in my book.” Also, having my best friend date my girlfriend’s best friend sounds like a great thing. As long as nothing goes wrong.

The week flies by, and before we know it, the field lights are on, people fill the stands, and reporters are on our sideline. I’ve never seen this many people at a game in all my years of watching Beaumont football. Of course, it’s homecoming, so many former players and students are in town, but my dad says people are coming from all over to get a look at Liam. He’s a local celebrity already. Just the other day, we went into the convenience store, and the owner gave us our soda for free. I could get used to these perks.

At half-time, we’re up twenty-eight to three, with twelve of the points coming from me. Liam’s pissed that the other team scored a field goal, but it’s better than a touchdown. We’re sitting on the bench, watching the parade of cars drive on the track. Each car has the junior and senior homecoming court. I’m not really paying attention when the senior king and queen are crowned because it’s a bunch of nonsense to me. Nothing more than a popularity contest. However, Katelyn thinks we’ll be selected for junior court next year. She says classmates almost always pick couples. I don’t know what to think about all of this, and I’m not sure how I feel about her thinking we’ll be together next year. It’s not that I want to break up or anything. I just feel like a year from now things could be different. What if she really does like the moody sullen type and breaks up with me? Then all this talk about next year is a moot point.

When the festivities are over, we take the field for warm-ups. Liam seems very put off by all of this, and I can’t say I blame him. It’s taken longer than our regular half-time, and I suspect the delay can throw his rhythm off.

Only that doesn’t happen, and Beaumont High dominates the game and secures another victory. We meet in the center of the field and listen to our captain. He’s yelling, in that excited sort of way, with his fists clenched and his shoulders squared. He hands Liam the game football and then grabs his shoulder pads. He slurs his words, and if I didn’t know any better, I’d say he’s drunk.

After showering and changing, I make my way to the parking lot with Liam. He doesn’t say much after a game, probably because he’s had to listen to his dad tell him everything he’s done wrong. I don’t think I’ve ever heard Sterling Westbury compliment his son.

“You had a great game,” Liam says. The offensive coordinator gave me my stats again and asked if I wanted to know what I needed each game and season to be on par with breaking the record. I told him no. I’m only sixteen. I don’t want to add any more pressure to my life right now.

“Only because of you,” I tell him. He shakes his head.

“You don’t give yourself enough credit. It’s not easy running through people and slipping tackles.”

He’s right, it’s not, but I love it. “It is pretty exhilarating when I burst through a gap and can make it to the end zone.”

“For me too,” he says.

We get to Liam’s truck and find that he has a visitor. Josie is leaning up against the door, waiting for him. I bump him with my shoulder, tell him I’ll catch him later, and continue through the parking lot. My truck comes into view, and I see Katelyn sitting on the hood with her pom-poms on each side of her. She’s enticing me, and I like it.

“Hey there.” I set my gear on the ground and touch her shoe, wiggling it back and forth. She slides forward and into my arms. “I kind of like you that you’re waiting for me.” I lean down and kiss her. We’re outside and can’t get yelled at by teachers. Some parents might say something, but whatever.

“Great game, Mase.”

“Thanks, babe.” Katelyn looks at me. This is the first time I’ve called her anything but Katelyn. “Is it okay if I call you babe?”

She nods. “I like it.” Katelyn takes my hand and leads me to the driver’s side. I open the door for her, and she climbs in, showing me those red panties that she calls shorties. The sight of her ass in the air stirs something inside of me. I don’t know whether to get into my truck or go to the bushes to rub one out.

“Are you coming?” she asks after she sits down. Not yet but give me a minute.

“Ye—” I clear my throat and nod. Sometimes I think she does stuff like this on purpose, but then there are times when I think she’s really innocent and has no idea what she does to me. I get into the truck and start it, hoping the roar of the engine clears my thoughts. It does, but only for a second because Katelyn puts her hand on my leg—dangerously close to my erection. “I should—” I don’t know what I should do.

“I think you should drive over there.” Katelyn points to the darkened corner of the parking lot. Only the last person to arrive at school parks there because of the trees. No one wants sap or leaves all over their car. I do as she says, making sure the front of my truck is covered under the trees.

Just as I turn the ignition off, Katelyn’s straddling my legs. Her lips are on mine before I can suggest we move away from the steering wheel, and once her hand reaches into my shorts, I lose my senses.

“Holy shit,” I say against her lips. Katelyn pulls away and looks down at my crotch as her fingertips rub against my skin. I want her to look at me. I also want her to wrap her hand around my dick and stroke it. I adjust my hips slightly and push my shorts down to get the waistband out of the way. “Shit.” The word falls from my mouth when the cooler air hits my head. I really need to give him a name.

“Is this okay?”

I swallow hard and nod. She has no idea how good this feels. My eyes roll back in my head when her hand wraps around my shaft. I need to think of something—anything—to stop my load from blowing.

“Ca—” I take a deep breath and then push her chin up, so we’re looking at each other. “Can I touch you?” My eyes drift down to her lap, hoping she gets what I want, without having to say the words.

Katelyn nods and leans back, only to press into the horn. We both jump, and once our heart rates even out, we laugh. “Maybe we should slide over,” I suggest, hoping she doesn’t change her mind about what we’re doing. I start to scoot over, and she goes with me freely and then leans back when she has more space to move. Her skirt rides up, and I can see her panties.

I don’t know what I’m doing but know that I want to touch her . . . there. My thumb brushes between her legs, and she twitches. “I’m sorry.”

“It felt good,” she says. I do it again and again until my thumb moves up and down over the top of her underwear. I want more, though. I want to feel what she feels like, flesh to flesh. Katelyn pushes into my thumb, bucking her hips. How does she know what to do?

“I don’t know what I’m doing.” I don’t mean to say those words, but they come out anyway. I’m sure she knows that I have no clue. Katelyn doesn’t say anything and continues stroking me while moving against my thumb. I feel helpless and in need of guidance. How come there isn’t a user guide or some tutorial on this stuff?

My hand clamps down on hers, and I shake my head. “I’m going to . . .” I can’t even bring myself to say the word!

“Me too,” she says. “Don’t stop touching me.”

My mind is a blur. When did the girl who wouldn’t let me French kiss her become this . . . this . . . I don’t even know! I do as she asks and continue moving my thumb. I close my eyes when the pressure in my balls builds. I don’t have a sock or anything to catch my release, but she doesn’t seem to care.

Katelyn moans and bucks against my hand. She lets out these sounds, and they’re the cause of my release. Hot spurts of cum land on her hand, my shirt, and my leg. It takes a moment for our breathing to return to normal, and when it does, Katelyn slides off my lap.

“What just happened?” I ask.

“We got each other off,” she tells me like this is an everyday occurrence for her. She hands me a couple of tissues from her bag, and I clean up.

“How did you know to do this?”

“I read it in Cosmo,” she tells me. “Josie put her copies into my bag. They’re very detailed and describe how to do everything.”

Maybe I should get a copy.

“This was,” I pause and try to find the right thing to say. “Wow.”

Katelyn smiles. “I really like you, Mason. Like a lot.”

I nod because the feelings are mutual. Only, I say, “I think I’m falling in love with you.”

“Me too,” she says as she leans over and kisses me. “You’re all I think about, and when I read those things in the magazine, I want to try them with you.”

“Maybe we should read them together?”

“Yeah, I think we should.”

Driving her back to her house is painful. I want to touch her more and learn. I hate not knowing what to do, but I’m determined to figure it all out.

Twenty-Two

The sun beats down. Sweat soaks my shirt, and grass clippings cover my shins, socks, and shoes. My hands feel funny. They tingle from the vibration of the mower. After I dump the bag of cut grass in what my dad calls the lawn pile, I grab the rake from the garage and clean up any missed spots. My mom hates it when we track grass into the house. After cleaning up in the garage, I head inside and grab a glass of water.

“How’s the yard?” Dad asks when he comes into the kitchen. He stands next to me and stares out the window by the sink. Most of my mom’s flowers are starting to brown now that summer is over. Sometime, in the next couple of weeks, she’ll go outside and do her thing. I asked her once before what ‘her thing’ was, and she said it was her time to be alone with her thoughts.

“It’s good. I’m counting down the days to winter.” I am, but only because that means I won’t have to mow for a couple of months.

My dad laughs. “It won’t be long.” He sighs. He sets something down on the counter and slides it toward me. I look down and see a square blue packet, and my heart sinks. It’s hard to swallow or even look at my dad. He clears his throat, and I know what’s coming next.

“Do you know what this is?”

I nod. “We learned about condoms in health class and practiced putting them on bananas.”

“I was sixteen once,” he says. “I get it. I get the hormones. The urges. All of it.”

I continue to stare out the window and not at the foil package.

“There’s a pack of condoms on your bed. I want you to be safe and protect you and Katelyn, or whoever you’re going to be with, from mishaps. You’re both young and have full lives ahead of you.” Dad puts his arm around me and gives me an awkward hug, and then leaves the kitchen. I don’t know what to think or even say, but slip the packet into my back pocket. Is my dad encouraging me to have sex with Katelyn? Surely not. I know we’ve done some touching, and I really like it, but sex is not crossing my mind right now. Besides, I wouldn’t know what to do.

I startle when there’s a knock at the door. I wait for my dad to yell that he’s going to get it, but when the second knock comes, I walk toward the door. After I open it, I’m surprised to see Liam there. “Hey.” I step aside and let him in.

“You busy?” he looks at me, and his eyebrow raises. I’m a mess, covered in grass.

“Just got done mowing. What’s up?”

“There’s something I want to show you,” he tells me. “We can take my truck.”

“Okay, can I shower first?”

“Yeah, for sure.”

Liam follows me upstairs and hangs out in my room while I shower. I’m quick, probably five minutes, and find Liam looking at all my trophies. He has the same ones because we’ve been on the same team since we started.

“It’s funny, I never look at mine when I’m home, but here I am staring at yours. We’ve won a lot over the years.”

“Dynamic duo,” I say, repeating the line printed in the newspaper this morning. “The reporter from the Beaumont News says any college interested in one of us should take the other because we’ll never perform the same with someone else.”

Liam turns and looks at me. “Do you believe that?”

His question takes me off guard. I think it would be nice to play through college together and maybe the NFL, but perhaps I’m wrong. I shrug and change the subject. “Are you ready?”

Liam leads the way downstairs. I hear my dad in the kitchen and check in with him before I leave. Liam drives, and I think it’s weird. Other than riding with my parents or other adults, I’ve never had anyone drive me anywhere.

“Where are we going?”

“I want to show you something,” he says.

We pull up to a four-way stop. He signals to turn right, which I’m thankful for because if we go straight, we’ll head toward Liam’s, and honestly, I don’t want to hang at his house. We drive down the road. There are a few houses, but mostly it’s farmland on one side and a lot of trees on the other. We turn again and drive down a dirt road until the area opens up. Before us, there’s a massive water tower, with Beaumont spray-painted on it, which has long been defunct.

“What are we doing here?”

Liam doesn’t answer. He parks his truck and then gets out. “Follow me.”

If I didn’t trust Liam, I’d probably get out of the truck and run for the hills, but I follow because he asked me to. He climbs the metal ladder and walks along the grated walkway. I’m right behind him, sitting and hanging my legs over the edge as he has.

“How did you find this place?”

He shrugs. “I heard Sterling talking about it and thought I’d come and check it out. I guess the city is going to tear it down or something.” Liam sighs and rests against the wall behind us. “Anyway, I came out here, climbed up, and really like it here. It’s quiet.”

“We’ll probably get busted for being up here.”

Liam shrugs again. “You don’t have to be here if you don’t want to.”

“Nah, I like it.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“Oh, you know what, we should make this our place. Like, our own hang out after a game or something. The juniors and seniors hang out at the Burger Barn, but this could be our place,” I say to him. “Our legacy.” It sounds stupid when I finally say it all, but I think it would be cool to create something others use when we’re no longer at Beaumont High.

Liam doesn’t say anything, but his lip rises a bit. I can’t tell if it’s a grimace or if he agrees with me.

“I got a fake,” he says.

“A fake what?”

He looks at me with no expression on his face. He is too serious and needs to relax. I wish Liam could come live with me so that the worst thing in his life would be my dad handing him condoms. “A fake ID. I got one, and the clerk at the convenience store took it even though she goes to school with us.”

“Oh, wow.”

“I bought a six-pack yesterday, sat up here, and drank it. I totally puked my guts out around two this morning, but it was worth it because when Sterling started in on me about not throwing yesterday, I was numb and didn’t give a shit about what he had to say.”

I don’t know what to say. Something tells me I just need to sit here and listen because that’s what he needs. I also feel like I should warn him about alcohol poisoning or drinking and driving, but he was in the same health class I was, and he’s learned all of this. The only thing I can think to say to Liam is, “Please, be careful.” The last thing I want is for Liam to get into trouble or end up hurt somehow. Or worse, hurt someone else.

It’s after eight at night and pouring down with rain. Katelyn calls and asks me to come to pick her up. We haven’t seen each other the past few days because she’s grounded for a less than stellar progress report, so I’m surprised to hear from her. When I arrive at her house, she’s running toward my truck. I barely pull up to the curb when she’s climbing inside. “Drive,” she says after slamming the door. I do as she asks, and the entire drive to the cliffs, I keep checking out her legs. She’s wearing a denim skirt, and her legs are dotted with raindrops. She’s quiet the entire drive. As soon as I park and shut the truck off, she starts crying.

“What’s wrong?”

“I hate my mom,” she says. “I can’t stand to be in the same room as her or hear her speak. Everything she says is so backhanded and mean, and just . . . I don’t get why she’s so hard on me.”

“Because she loves you.”

She shakes her head. “No, she doesn’t. If she did, she wouldn’t call me names or tell me I’m making mistake after mistake. She wouldn’t accuse me of doing things I’m not. If she loved me, she’d encourage me and want to be a positive part of my life.”

“I’m sorry.” I pull her into my arms, her clothes soaked from standing outside and waiting for me. I turn the heat on full blast to try and warm her up. “I don’t know what she’s calling you, but I’m sure you don’t deserve it.”

“According to her, I’m a whore because I have a boyfriend. She says I’m going to come home knocked up, and if I do, she says I won’t have a place to live. Like, what kind of parent says that?”

What in the hell?

“I’m sorry,” I tell her again. I don’t know what else to say. I’m thankful my parents aren’t like this. I can’t imagine my mom or dad turning their back on me if I got Katelyn or anyone else pregnant. My mom would be sad and disappointed, but she’d never kick me out of the house. I suppose it’s a lot different for boys than girls.

“We’re not even having sex,” she says as if I need a reminder.

“I know,” because what else can I say?

Katelyn looks at me. “Do you want to?”

“Do I want to what?”

“Have sex with me?”

“Uh . . .” Katelyn scoots away from me, but I stop her. “You caught me off guard with that question,” I tell her.

“I know, and I’m sorry. It’s just that everyone is doing it, and the squad thinks we are. Every time one of the girls brings it up, I blush because I’m embarrassed. They’re talking about something private between us, and they start teasing me and asking me questions. Sometimes I want to tell them we’ve done stuff, but I don’t want everyone knowing my business.”

“Girls gossip a lot.”

“Yeah, we do. It’s an everyday thing. Don’t you and Liam and the guys on the team talk about this stuff?”

I shake my head. “Liam and I talk about football and college, and how he hates his piece of crap dad. Some guys talk about chicks, but they don’t ask if we’re doing it or anything. The older guys just talk about the chicks they banged.”

“Oh,” she says. She places her hand on my leg, dangerously close to my dick. I’m not sure this is the right time to make out or not, but we’re also at the cliffs, and it’s sort of implied people come here to mess around.

“Do you like the stuff we’ve tried?” I don’t know why I need to know this. It’s not like there’s a book out there I can read that’ll show me how to do things right. And the magazines I’ve found in the garage . . . well, the stories get pretty detailed, but they’re not an instruction manual.

Katelyn nods.

“Did I make you feel good?”

“Yes.”

“When?”

“After homecoming. I was so happy your dad took us back to your house first so you could get your truck. Before you took me home, we stopped at the park and you put your fingers in me.”

I smile at the memory. “And what did you do for me?”

“Put you in my mouth,” she says as if she’s trying to tell me a secret.

“I really liked that,” I tell her as I move her hair behind her ear. “And I really liked what I did to you.”

“Yeah.” She’s back to gazing out the window again, almost as if she’s embarrassed to look at me.

“My dad gave me condoms today.” I don’t know what possesses me to tell her this. She turns slowly and stares. “What are you thinking?” I ask, needing to know what’s going on in her mind.

Katelyn shrugs. “Can I see?”

I reach into my back pocket and pull the blue foil-wrapped rubber out and hand it to her. She turns the package over in her hand and tries to read the fine print. “How is anyone supposed to know what this says?”

“Dunno. I think we’re just supposed to know.”

“Miss Richter says our bodies know what to do, that our hormones will guide us.”

Dad said something about hormones taking over.

Katelyn hands the condom back to me, and I go to put it in my pocket, but her hand stops me. I look into her eyes and see excitement? Curiosity? I’m not sure which. “What?”

“Do you want to try?”

“Try what?”

Her eyes go wide, and they move toward the packet in my hand. “To use it.”

“Do you want to try?”

She nods quickly and without hesitation. Before I can form a coherent response, she’s maneuvering her way onto my lap and kissing me. I slide away from the steering wheel to give us more space, and Katelyn takes advantage of this by grinding against me. My mind is telling me to stop her and have her slow down, but every other part of me is encouraging her because of how she makes me feel. She tries to get her hand into my jeans, but the button and zipper prevent her from doing so. I help her get them undone, and once they are, she has her hand wrapped around my cock.

“Shit,” I mutter as I try to put my hands everywhere I can. I have one between her legs with my thumb rubbing the outside of her lace panties. They’re wet, which she told me last time is normal because I’m turning her on.

I move the fabric aside and slip my finger into her, and she whispers, “Yes,” into my ear.

My other hand tries to undo her bra, but these things were made by the devil, and I can’t find the clasp. I give up, cup her breast, and pull her bra down to feel her nipple with my fingers.

“Do you think it’s time?” she asks.

How in the hell am I supposed to know?

“I don’t know.”

“I think you put the condom on now.” Katelyn moves off my lap and toward the passenger side. She keeps her skirt above her hips and slips her panties off. Holy fuck, we are going to do this. She turns away when I start to put the rubber over my cock. “That smells,” she says.

“Yeah, sort of gross.” I push my jeans down to my knees and look at her. “Now what?”

“In the movies, the woman is lying down, and the man is on top of her.”

This isn’t the movies, Katelyn!

Katelyn lays down and spreads her legs. For the first time in my life, I’m staring at a real-life vagina, and hers looks nothing like the ones I’ve seen in the magazines. I move to get on top of her and say, “I might be heavy.”

“It’ll be fine.”

I try to keep most of my weight on my elbows, which sucks because now I can’t touch her. There has to be an easier way. I’m about to tell her we shouldn’t do this when my dick feels her and becomes harder than I ever thought possible.

“I don’t know what I’m doing, Katie.”

She glares at me. “Don’t ever call me that again,” she says, and I nod.

“I’m sorry, Katelyn.”

She smiles and kisses me deeply. My hips start to move on their own accord. It’s like my dick is guiding me to where I’m supposed to be. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Push it in,” she says. I don’t know what’s going on between our bodies, but she raises her hips, and it’s like she’s calling me. My body reacts. I try to push into her but all I’m doing is sliding against her.

“Mason . . .” the way she says my name, breathless and wanting, wakes me up. I slip my hand between us and grab hold of my dick and guide it to her opening. She gasps and wraps her arms around me.

“Do you want me to stop?”

She shakes her head. I push a little more, and she cries out. I’m fearful that I’m hurting her, but she tells me to keep going. I do, pushing in a little more each time until I’m afraid to push anymore. Something in the back of my head tells me this isn’t right. This isn’t how we should be having sex for the first time, but I can’t stop. I don’t want to, now that I’m inside of her.

Move your hips, you idiot.

My hips rise and then go down. Repeat. Katelyn lets out these little sounds. They’re encouraging, but I’m losing focus. I’m about to blow and imagine her hand on my hard dick, pumping me. I groan and jerk, filling the rubber. When the spasms have stopped, I lay there, wondering what I’m supposed to do. My hard-on disappears, and I have no option but to sit up.

“Um . . .” I look down at my crotch and wonder what just happened.

Katelyn sits up and puts her panties back on. “We just had sex,” she says as if she needs to say it out loud to validate what we just did.

“I guess we did.” Katelyn has the keen sense of mind to hand me a tissue which I use to take the condom off, wad it up, and put it under my seat.

“We should do it again.”

I glance at her, but she’s looking out the window.

“After we go to the library and read up on how to do it right.”

Ouch.

“Tomorrow?”

“Sure,” I say because I have nothing better to do on a Sunday.

“Perfect, because I want to do that again.”

“Me, too.” I reach for her and pull her toward me. Cupping her cheek, I look into her eyes. “I love you, Katelyn.”

“I love you too, Mason.”

Twenty-Three

The sociology teacher paces in front of the chalkboard. She’s animated and talks with her hands. There are times when I’m more focused on what they are doing rather than what she’s saying, and I have to ask Katelyn what the assignment is. She’s the reason I’m in this class—Katelyn, not the teacher. Katelyn is one credit shy from graduation and needed an easy class—something to boost her GPA. When she found out I’d have a free period during this time, she convinced me to take this class with her, with the promise that she’d help me with the homework. So far, it’s an okay class. I’d much rather sit in the senior lounge, but I’m with my girl and I can’t ask for anything more.

Katelyn pokes me in my side and motions toward the teacher. She knows when I’m not paying attention and does everything she can to keep me on task. As much as I’d love to slack off, I can’t. While I have some decent offers from colleges, they’re not schools I can really see myself at, and I’m still waiting for my number one pick. Liam is too, according to him. We have a pact to go to the University of Nebraska together. Granted, we made it when we were young, but I haven’t forgotten. I don’t like to think that this could be our last season together. In fact, the thought hurts. I’ve been on his left since I was five years old and didn’t have a clue as to what I was doing. I don’t want to think about what next fall could be like if I’m on the line of scrimmage and he’s not there.

I pick up my pen—well it’s really Katelyn’s because I forgot mine—and start writing the assignment. This teacher wants at least a one-page essay of our best life experience or the moment that changed our lives. Really? How do I sum up a high point in my extraordinary life? I’m eighteen and have no complaints. My life has been amazing. Others my age often complain about things. Their home life sucks—much like Katelyn’s—or they ended up hurt and missed a season of playing. At the end of the day, I’m grateful for my family, my friends, and for my girl. She’s literally the best part of my life.

If I go with the moment that changed my life, it might have to be the first time Katelyn and I had sex. Well, not the real first time because we had no freaking idea what the hell we were doing, “just put it in,” I think is what she told me. I did because why not. Peer pressure is a very real thing, especially when she’s batting her eyes at me. She knows I will never say no to her. After the most awkward moment of my life, we spent a week at the library, reading every book we could, and tried again. This time it was at her house, in the pool shed. She made me park down the road, just in case her mother came home early, and Katelyn made us a bed in the pool house with beach towels and pillows. It definitely wasn’t the best place, but when you’re sixteen and horny, you do it wherever you can. This time around, we had lots of foreplay, took our clothes off, and put in some effort. This is when we also discovered that Katelyn is a screamer, which makes it hard to have sex when my parents are watching television downstairs, or we’re at the cliffs. The thing about public sex is you need to stay as quiet as possible otherwise you’ll draw a crowd or even the police, and no one wants that.

There is also the time when the condom broke, and I didn’t tell her. I was scared and didn’t want her to freak out for weeks until she got her period. So, I waited and silently rejoiced when she told me her aunt was in town. Honestly, each time her aunt came I was relieved. We had talked about her going on birth control, but her mother would’ve lost her mind and made Katelyn’s life hell. When she turned eighteen, we went to the clinic together and she got on the pill. I guess I could say one of the best moments of my life was being with Katelyn and not using a condom. At first, I wasn’t on board, but she assured me we’d be fine. So far, she’s been right, and the feeling of being inside of her with nothing between us is hands down the best sensation ever. The doctor at the clinic told us it wasn’t safe, but since I plan on marrying Katelyn, I’ve got nothing to lose. If she ends up pregnant, I’m not going anywhere.

I glance over and see that her head is down and she’s writing furiously. I’m tempted to lean over and see what she’s put down, but figure she’ll tell me later. As I stare at the sheet of notebook paper I know I can’t write about having sex with my girl, so I focus on football. Going into my senior season—my last season—I’m on track to break the state record in rushing yards. I’m on the cusp, according to the reporters, and each game brings out more and more scouts to watch. Although, no one on the team is stupid enough to think the scouts are there to watch them. They’re here for Liam—Beaumont’s Golden Boy. He literally breaks the law, and no one bats an eyelash. If anyone in town is missing a mailbox, it’s probably because of him, well . . . the both of us because I can’t say no to him either. If he wants to get drunk, drive and play mailbox baseball, I’m his co-pilot. I swear we are a bunch of dumbass kids, but as long as he’s winning games, no one cares. It’s bothersome, really, and maybe it’s because a part of me is jealous. Liam’s my best friend but I hate all the attention he gets. I’m the one running through two-to-three-hundred-pound linemen, but Liam gets the credit. Everything he touches, turns to gold. And even though Katelyn and I have been together longer, the high school hierarchy goes to Liam and Josie. Still, I wouldn’t trade my years with him for anything.

I finally put pen to paper and write about Liam, Josie, Katelyn, and me, and this incredible friendship we have between us. I’m close with Josie. I don’t know how it happened or why, but we’re good friends. I consider her a sister and since I never had one, that means she’s pretty important to me. But the fact that my best friends are dating and heading down the same path as Katelyn and I are, I’d say life is pretty good, and I’d have to say the moment that changed my life, or the lives of our tight-knit group would have to be homecoming, our sophomore year. Liam asked Josie out, and they’ve been together ever since. They’re good for each other. Josie is Liam’s escape from his parents. I wish I could say the same for her, but Sterling and Bianca are the coldest, rudest, and meanest humans on the planet. I know Liam is counting down the days until he’s out of here. He tells me he will only come back to get Josie, and that’s after he’s drafted. Beaumont will never see him again. I can’t say that I blame him. While the town has been nice to him, his family hasn’t. It’s hard being who he is and having the parents that he does. There was one point, during our junior year, when I had been called me into the principal’s office. Someone reported that Sterling beat Liam and everyone figured I would know. It would’ve been so easy to say yes, even though I had no proof, and I almost did until I realized how much worse off Liam could’ve been. I told the truth, but sometimes the truth is wrong.

There are times when I wish we could go back to our sophomore year. When Liam came back from camp, he was a changed person. He smiled more and laughed a ton. He came out of shell, and it was good to see. The differences in him were short-lived though. Liam’s become sullener and reckless over the past couple of years. He fights with his dad constantly. If it’s not over football and what college he’s going to go to, it’s over Josie. Sterling, the dick, hates Josie and he’s not shy about letting Liam know that she’s beneath him. Sterling takes it upon himself to bring suitable women home for his son. Women Sterling feels would be a better NFL wife. According to Sterling, Liam’s allowed to associate with me, no one else. Liam uses the excuse, “It’s Mason’s birthday,” often to get out of country club events with Sterling. I think I’m pushing eighty by now.

The bell rings just as I write my last word. I put my name at the top, hand Katelyn her pen, and make my way to the front of the class to turn my paper in. Katelyn’s in front of me and as much as I’d like to grab her ass or kiss her, things have to wait until we’re in the hall. I don’t know how many times we’ve been busted for making out in the halls. At least we’re not like Liam and Josie and having sex in the dugout or behind the bleachers. I walk right behind her and put my arm around her shoulders. I love being taller than her, and it comes with so many perks. One of them being I can see above everyone in the hallway and can easily guide her to our lockers. When we get there, we have a mini make out session. This is our norm and I’m going to be sad when we can’t do this every day. I don’t know what I’m going to do when we go away to college. Her parents have long said they won’t help her with college expenses. I think it’s mostly her mom. She’s never approved of anything Katelyn has done, and her dad just does what his wife says. Josie’s parents are different than most parents. They’re very lenient and don’t really care what she does, as long as she’s safe, and they’re supportive of her. It wasn’t until last year that Josie dropped the bomb that her mother is considerably younger than her father. Josie doesn’t like to talk about it for some reason, but it explains why her mom is so free-willed and very nonchalant about a lot of things. Katelyn and Josie want to go to Beaumont State. It’s an odd name for a school because Beaumont isn’t a state, and they really could’ve named it something different. It’s a four-year college, with dorms, and sports teams. The campus is pretty and near the mall. I think that is why the girls like it so much.

I’m kissing Katelyn’s neck when someone hits me on my shoulder. It’s Liam with Josie right behind him. Right along with the harem that follows him around. He’s oblivious though. Liam only has eyes for Josie. They’re the lucky assholes who didn’t have a class last period. Liam and Josie always go to his house during their free time. It’s close, Sterling isn’t home, and Bianca won’t dare say a word.

The four of us walk to the cafeteria and sit at the same table we have for the past three years. Others have tried to join us, but they only last a couple of days before they realize they don’t belong with us during lunch time. I carry mine and Katelyn’s food to the table and sit down. She and Josie are already there, and Liam isn’t far behind.

“We had to write an essay in Sociology today,” I tell him and Josie, but I’m looking at Liam. “It got me thinking about next year and how Nebraska is taking their sweet time getting back to us.”

Liam’s eyes meet mine and I know he's already been accepted. I swallow hard and fight off the emotions about to take over. He opens his mouth and then closes it. I’m thankful for the chatter in the cafeteria because it’s drowning out my heartbeat right now.

“Look,” he says, and then pauses. Liam clears his throat. “There are twenty plus schools that want me to come play for them right now, and Nebraska isn’t one of them.”

“Did you apply?” I ask him.

He shakes his head. “It’s not on the list.”

“Well, it would’ve been nice had you told me before I wasted money on the application.” I throw my food down onto the tray and get up. Without even asking him, I know why, and it grates me. Liam can’t stand his father yet lets him dictate his life. I don’t get it. I don’t look back to see if he’s watching me walk away because it’ll just be another let down. I’m sure Liam has a valid reason and I’m sure it has to do with Sterling.

Twenty-Four

I turn my alarm off before it has a chance to blare and send my heart rate skyrocketing. I’m tired, sore, nervous, stressed . . . I’m a mess, and my lack of sleep isn’t going to bode well for me later. In a little over an hour, horns will sound outside my door, and I’m expected to run outside with my arms pumping in the air, hooting, hollering, and feigning excitement about tonight’s game. The fact is, I’m scared shitless. Beaumont High plays for their fourth state championship game tonight, and I’m one hundred yards away from breaking the all-state rushing record. One-hundred yards—the length of the football field. That’s all I need to have my name cemented in the history books. The thing is, no one realizes this except my dad and our offensive coordinator. Coach doesn’t even seem to care because he tells Liam he wants to see more down the field throws and not so many hand-offs. I want to ask him why because it’s not like Liam needs to showcase his talent, he’s going to college while the rest of us are trying to get noticed. Everyone wants to go to college and continue playing. We’d like to have a scout or two talk to us after the game and not clamor around Liam, especially when everyone knows he’ll end up at Auburn. People in town are always worried about Liam and wondering what school he’s going to choose. They’re already planning their Saturday afternoon football gatherings and tailgate parties. Ralph’s, the local bar, has a big board attached to the wall with all the schools who have come forward with an offer for Liam. Just him. No one else. I tried to tell Liam yesterday, but he never acknowledged what I said. I know the pressure is on him as well, but just this once, I’d like to matter.

I dress in a pair of khaki shorts and my football jersey. It’s a Friday tradition, and there’s no way in hell I’m breaking it, even though it’s the last thing I want to put on today. It’s odd to think back to the first game of the season and how excited I was compared to now. But I don’t want this game to happen because tomorrow, when I wake up, I’m no longer Mason Powell, running back for Beaumont High. Instead, I’ll be Mason Powell, the guy who played for one of the best football programs in the state. And then next week, I’ll take all of my game articles and the game footage tape the media department at the school put together for me, and I’ll send packets off to colleges. For the past few months, I’ve lied to Liam. I’ve told him I have some decent offers when in fact, I have only one from a Division 2 school that I’ve never heard of from someplace in New York. I have a lot of Division 3 schools interested, but they don’t offer scholarships, and their tuition is something my parents can’t afford. I don’t know why I haven’t told Liam the truth. I think, deep down, it’s because I don’t think he’d care. It hurts to think these sorts of things about my best friend, but it’s how I feel. Deep down in my heart, I also believe Liam’s this way because of the mental abuse he’s taken from his father over the years.

When I make it downstairs, my mom sits at the kitchen table, flipping through a magazine. “Good morning.”

“Good morning. Big day?”

I grumble. “Don’t remind me.” I scoop some eggs onto my plate and grab some bacon. I sit across from her and start eating.

She gets up from the table and returns with a glass of orange juice. She sets it down in front of me and then sits. Mom is always worried about my vitamin intake and making sure I’m staying as healthy as possible. Last year, Katelyn was sick for two weeks, and my mom begged me not to kiss her or do other things because she was afraid I’d catch it. We definitely didn’t kiss, but we absolutely did the other stuff my mother hasn’t talked to me about since I was fifteen.

“You’ll do well,” she says. It’s what she says before all my games. She’s not your typical sports mom. While she’s my biggest supporter, aside from my dad, she sometimes stays home on game night and waits for me so I can tell her about the game. She doesn’t like hearing other parents bad mouth my teammates or me, and she really doesn’t like it when I get hit. The games cause her a lot of anxiety, so she opts not to watch them. She’s always been this way, so it really doesn’t bother me.

“Are you going?” I ask her, knowing full well she’ll stay home.

“Yes,” she says as she looks me in the eye. “It’s your last game, and from what I hear, it could be quite exciting.”

“I’ll try not to get hit.”

“Please do,” she says, even though she knows it’s impossible. When the horns start honking, I clear my plate and kiss her cheek. “Have a great day, Mason. I love you.”

“Love you more,” I tell her and then head to the front door. Before I open it, I inhale deeply. This is it. I pull the door open and push the screen door away from the door frame. Cars and trucks decorated in our school colors line the streets in a parade. Katelyn jumps out of the back of a truck and runs toward me. I catch her, and her legs wrap around my waist.

“Last game,” she reminds me.

“Guess we better win, huh?”

She nods and kisses me until the horns start again. I let her go, and she runs back to the truck she and some of the squad is riding in. I make my way to my truck and am surprised to find Nick jogging toward me.

“Hey man, can I ride with you?”

I nod. “Liam will probably jump in.”

Nick grimaces. Nick and I are friends, even though Liam hates him with every bone in his body. I can’t say I blame him because Nick made a move on Josie, but the guy deserves a second chance. There have been times when I’ve told Liam and Katelyn a couple of white lies so I could hang out with Nick. I’m not proud of myself, but I like the guy, and I didn’t want to put Katelyn in a position where she could slip up and say something to Josie which would cause all kinds of drama. It’s shit none of us needed. I’ve done right by Liam and told Nick to put Josie out of his mind.

“I’ll jump out when we get to his place.” This fight is stupid.

Some of the vehicles pull forward, while the rest of them stop to give me space to back out. I’m sandwiched between the cheer squad, which is a nice place to be.

“You know how I went to that college mixer thing?” Nick asks.

“Yeah, how was it?”

“Great. I met someone.” Thank God.

“No way, seriously?” We get to a stop sign, and the girls start singing our fight song. They’re loud, off-key, and perfect. Everyone comes out of their houses and starts cheering, but there’s always that someone who tells us to shut the fuck up. When we hear it, we lay on our horns so that they know we care.

“College girls are different,” he says, earning a sideways glance from me. He’s wearing a shit-eating grin, and all I can do is high-five him.

“Dog,” I say to him, and he laughs. The thing about Nick is that he’s a good-looking dude. According to Katelyn, many of the girls on the squad want to date him, but he’s only been interested in Josie until now. That’s not to say he hasn’t been hooking up with anyone. He throws some epic parties and has been known to disappear with some arm candy.

The last stop on this parade route is Liam’s. Before we turn onto his street, Nick jumps out of my truck and into one further down. I have to choose between him and Liam, but I can’t turn my back on my best friend. After we pick him up, we’ll drive down Main Street where we’ll wave, people will wish us luck, and then we’ll head to school, where absolutely no work will get done. We have a pep rally, a team luncheon, and then normally, we’ll board a bus to some neutral location. As luck would have it, it’s Beaumont High’s year to host the championship game. Of course, the opposing team petitioned to change it, but the board kept it here.

Once Liam’s done making out with Josie, he hops in my truck. He looks ragged, and I’m willing to bet he didn’t sleep a wink last night. “Did you sleep?”

He shakes his head. “You?”

“Nope. Sterling on your ass?”

“He never stops. I wish he’d leave, or she’d leave him.”

“Would you go with her?”

He nods. “Just so I can live with the quiet. The other day I caught him on the phone with Hal all but guaranteeing I’m going to pick Auburn in February.”

“Do you know who you’re going to pick?”

“No, maybe I’ll surprise everyone and not go to school.”

I snort. “Yeah, right. You’re going to the NFL, man!”

Liam doesn’t respond and is quiet until we hit Main Street. “I’m going to miss this,” he says. “I’m going to miss people not giving a fuck.”

The roar of the crowd vibrates through the tunnel. I’m pumped. I’m ready. And I’m as nervous as I’ve ever been. I feel like I need to puke but can’t. I was careful today, watching what I ate and ensuring my water and Gatorade intake wasn’t excessive. I don’t want to feel sluggish, but I don’t want to cramp either.

Liam’s behind me. I turn and put my hands on his shoulder pads. The eye black he wears says, “Jo,” for Josie. I don’t remember exactly when he started calling her JoJo, but it’s his, and only his, nickname for her. Don’t be the asshole who tries to call her that because Liam will rip your head off.

“Do you hear that crowd?”

“Yeah, man. I can hear it. Crazy, right?”

I jostle him one more time and then stand beside him. “There has to be more people than last year.”

The cheer squad runs by, and Katelyn kisses me quickly and then runs to catch up with the rest of the girls. Josie stays behind to talk to Liam. They’re intense, and I often wonder how either of them will manage to be away from each other when we all go off to college. I know I will have difficulty being away from Katelyn, but Liam’s different when with Josie. I swear they have a secret language or something.

“Knock it off, you two. If you give him a stiffy during the game, some linebacker is going to break his pecker.” The three of us start laughing, and Josie finally kisses Liam goodbye. Liam and I slip our helmets on and wait for the signal that it’s okay to go out onto the field. Once it’s given, we run out to the sound of our marching band and through the alley the cheerleaders have made. Their red and gold pom-poms are shaking, and they’re cheering, and then I’m standing on the sideline, looking at the packed stands. Holy shit. I’ll never have this moment again.

Liam calls my name, and I follow him to where we warm-up. One of the junior varsity team freshmen stands beside Liam, catching the balls I throw back at him. After we’re warm, we stretch, and that’s when I spot my dad in the sea of fans. He stands there holding a sign with how many yards I need.

“I can’t believe my dad has a sign,” I say to Liam as I nod toward the bleachers.

“I called him last night and told him to bring one.”

“Why?”

Liam looks at my dad, then back at me, and shrugs. “So, I know how many yards you need to break this record.” He did listen to me. I stand there and stare at my dad, thankful that I’m wearing a helmet because I don’t want anyone to see that I have tears in my eyes. He and Liam did this for me. Dad clenches his hand and pumps his fist into the air. I do the same.

When the whistle blows after the coin toss, Liam walks out to the field and takes center.

I’m on his left.

The first play is a hand-off to me. I wrap my arms around the ball and barrel my way through the pile. I dodge a tackle, jump over a hand trying to grab my ankle, and when I’m finally brought down, I’ve rushed for thirty. Before I get to the line of scrimmage, I watch Liam as he looks at my dad, and the number he holds now is seventy.

Every play in the first half of the game goes to me. After the third run, I stopped looking at my dad because seeing the numbers was a distraction. I’m brought down after a run, and when I stand, Liam calls a time-out.

“What the hell?” Coach yells, but Liam doesn’t care. He goes to the official and takes the ball from him.

“Congratulations,” he says as he pushes the ball toward me, and that’s when reality hits. I don’t know how I tuned everyone out around me, but I had. I glance at my teammates, who are all clapping, and then I look toward the stands. My dad is holding a sign that once again says one hundred, and then he switches it and holds a sign with the new record, nine thousand five hundred and two. The all-state rushing record now belongs to me. I run toward him, and he meets me at the railing.

“I’m so proud of you, Mason,” he yells over the crowd. “So damn proud of you, my son!” I hand my dad the ball and he holds it high in the air, much to everyone’s delight.

By the time the clock ticks down, I’ve padded the record. It’ll be interesting to see who challenges me for the title. If some kid can do it, I’d like to be at the game when it happens to congratulate him because it hasn’t been easy.

When Liam takes a knee, we rush him. He’s hoisted onto shoulders and paraded around. Back-to-back championships are common. Winning three times is a feat, but to win four in a row with the same quarterback is unheard of, and that’s why Liam is going to the NFL.

After the game, everyone climbs into my truck. This is how we all started, the four of us crammed into the cab, and I’d drive us to school. Tonight, I take us to the water tower, where the party is well underway. Liam needs to decompress. The press hounded him after the win, and his father was front and center with twenty more scouts when all Liam wanted to do was celebrate with his teammates.

The girls stay on the ground while Liam and I climb the ladder to the tower. There are a few other guys there, some from the team, but others are from school. They’re all from Beaumont though. They all make way for Liam, acknowledging the fact that he discovered this place. We sit down, and each take a bottle from the case of beer he bought with his fake ID. He pops the top and downs his instantly. He throws it into the bed of my truck, and someone has the keen sense of mind to yell incoming so the people who stayed down there aren’t afraid when it crashes.

He nods toward Josie. “My dad thinks she’s trying to trap me.”

“I doubt that,” I tell him. “She loves you.”

“Sometimes, I hope . . .” he pauses and reaches for another beer. He drinks half before finishing. “What would you do if Katelyn were pregnant?”

“Marry her,” I say without any hesitation. “Move her into my house so she can get away from her mother. What would you do?”

“I’d drive us far away from Beaumont and start life all over. If we stayed here, Sterling would make her life hell.”

I agree.

“I think about it sometimes, not using a condom, but then I think that would ruin her, not me, and I can’t do that to her. I love her too much.” Liam tosses his second bottle down while I still nurse my first. “I need to pick a school and then beg her to come with me. But I can’t support her, and it’s not like these schools have married housing or some shit. She won’t let me pay for her application fees, and she’s made her mind up about going to Beaumont State with Katelyn.”

“I know the feeling.” I take a long pull. “I wish we could go to the same school,” I say with a shrug. “This way, the girls would visit, and they’d always be together. It seems as close to perfect as we’re going to get.”

“Yeah, it does,” he says. “All I know is that I fucking love her and don’t have any clue how I’m going to live without her.”

Twenty-Five

Holy crap, I’m in New York City. Never, in a million years, did I ever think I’d be standing in Times Square, looking at the marquee billboards, and thinking, “wow, I have the best best friend ever.” As much as I’d love to say I’m here because of my talents, I’m not. I’m here because Liam brought my dad and me. Sure, I can announce my intentions in front of a live studio audience, but no one is here to see me. ESPN invited a handful of football athletes to New York for National Signing Day. That’s how important Liam is. I think at last count, he had twenty Division 1 offers, but his father is hell-bent on him going to Auburn. Liam told me about his visit to Alabama and said Hal, the coach, schmoozed Sterling and wasn’t even on the field when Liam practiced with the team. He also hated the weather and couldn’t see himself living there. But when I ask where he can see himself living, he shuts down and doesn’t say anything. I feel bad for him. The weight of the world rests on his shoulders, thanks to Sterling.

The lobby of the hotel is bustling with activity. This place is the hub for all the coaches who came for this, the media, and the players. And here I am, soaking it all in. I tried to get Liam to explore with me, but Sterling has him locked in his room, going over the schools. It’s like a damn quiz, and whoever Liam picks will be wrong in Sterling’s eyes unless it’s who his father wants.

“Mason Powell?”

I turn at the sound of my name and see someone from the University of Texas approach me. “Yes.” I hold out my hand and shake his.

“Coach McWilliams.”

“Nice to meet you, Coach. I’ve meant to call you back.”

“No worries. I know this is a busy time for athletes. Do you have a moment to talk?” he motions toward the hall where the conference rooms are. I know this because I’ve scoured every inch of this hotel out of boredom. I follow him and step inside a small room. There are a couple of circular tables, mostly covered in paperwork.

“Have you made a decision?”

I shake my head slowly. “No, sir. Honestly, I’m here because Liam Westbury invited me to come along.”

“You guys make quite the duo. We really hoped he’d come to Texas, but I’m not sure we’re in the running.”

I don’t know if he’s looking for information on Liam or what. If he is, he’s barking up the wrong tree. Liam doesn’t tell me anything about college, and if he did, I’d never betray him.

“However, we are very interested in you. I know we didn’t get to talk much last week, and I glossed over the details, but we’d love for you to come to Texas and play for the Longhorns. We can offer you a full scholarship, which includes your tuition, room and board, and all your school supplies.”

It takes me a moment to realize what he said. “Full ride?”

He chuckles. “Honestly, I’m surprised you don’t have more offers. I figured with your stellar numbers and the impressive four years you’ve put together, you’d have as many as Liam.”

Me, too.

“I don’t know what to say,” I tell him. “Can I talk it over with my parents?”

“Of course, just don’t keep me waiting,” he says jokingly. “Here’s all my information, just in case. Have your mom or dad give me a call. If you want to come to tour the school, we can fly you out. You can meet your teammates and get a feel for what campus life is about.”

“Thank you so much.” We stand and shake hands again. I leave the room and head right to the elevators so I can tell Liam. When I get to our floor, I go past my door and raise my hand to knock, but I see that his door is ajar. I push it open a bit too mightily, and it slams against the wall, startling him.

“What’s up?” he asks with confusion written all over his face. I step closer and notice his eyes are red-rimmed, and his cheeks are flush. I don’t have to ask to know that Sterling has been on his case already.

“I can’t believe it’s signing day,” I say, trying to hold my news in as long as I can. I pull out the desk chair, spin it around and sit down to face him. “We’re going to college in a few months.”

“I know. What’s going on, Mase? How’d you get a key to my room?”

“Have you decided?” I ask, avoiding my question about his room. I know he’s afraid Sterling will come back, but I plan to make this short and sweet.

He shakes his head slowly. “That’s what I’ve been trying to do all morning.”

Leaning back, I rest against the desk. “So, you know I have a lot of DII offers, but last week the University of Texas called me, but I never called them back. McWilliams found me downstairs and made an offer, and I think I’m going to take it.”

“Yeah?” Liam doesn’t seem surprised at all. “That’s good, man. They have a solid program. How come you’re just telling me this now?”

I shrug. “I don’t know. It seems like nothing compares to what you have sitting in front of you.”

“That’s bullshit, Mason. You’ve worked hard. You deserve this. Are you signing today?”

I nod. I think I’m going to do it. This seems like an opportunity too good to pass up. “I’m nervous, though.”

“Me too.” Liam seems different. He sighs. “Do you ever want to quit and do something different?”

“Nah. I don’t see the NFL in my future like you do, but I want to coach and give back to the community. I want to do my four years, get an education and come back here and marry Katelyn.”

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

“Why? Do you think about quitting?” I ask.

Liam stares at the door. What’s he doing? Waiting for Sterling to bust in with all guns blazing? He looks back at me and nods. “All the time, man. I don’t love the game like I used to. The pressure has been too much, and I feel like I’m a bomb about to detonate. I hate all this school bullshit. In two hours, I have to decide what school I want to play for, and if I don’t pick Auburn, Sterling is going to freak out.”

“So just pick Auburn.”

He rolls his eyes and sighs. “I don’t know.”

“Dude, you have it so easy. You have all these colleges coming after you. I would’ve given my left nut to be in your position. Stop bitching. Pick a school and say, ‘fuck you, dad.’ Hell, come with me. That will really piss him off.”

Liam’s head pops up, and I can see his wheels turning. Sterling would shit a brick if Liam went to school with me. I know how he feels about me. I’m the dirt stuck to the spike of Liam’s cleat. When he doesn’t say anything, I stand and say, “I should probably go before your old man gets back. See ya down there.”

Two doors down, I open the door to the room I share with my dad and find him sitting by the window, much like Liam was. He’s reading a book but sets it down when I come in. “Hey,” I say when I get to the table.

“Where’d you wander off to?”

“Just exploring. Tonight, we should sit down there and watch the lights.”

“I’d like to take you to a nice dinner,” he says. “I’d like to invite Liam as well.”

I nod and would love for Liam to come, but it’s unlikely. I sit across from my dad and place my folded hands on the table. “Dad, I want to thank you for being the best dad a son could ask for. I see what Liam goes through, and I can’t imagine living like that. The way Sterling treats—”

My dad rests his hand on top of mine and squeezes. “It’s unfair. Unfortunately, Sterling believes this is effective parenting. Your mother and I see things differently. We are very proud of you and everything you’ve accomplished. I hope you know this.”

“I do,” I tell him. “When I was downstairs, I ran into Coach McWilliams. He’s offering me a full ride, Dad.” I can barely say the words before the tears start falling from my eyes. “Division 1, and they want me to play for them.”

My dad gets up from his seat and pulls me from mine. “This is amazing,” he says as he hugs me. “I can’t even tell you what this means.” I already know. It means no student loans. It means I can start a future with Katelyn in four years, debt-free. He steps back and looks at me. “What are you going to do?”

“I’m going to sign, Dad. I’m going to go play football at the University of Texas.”

“I can’t wait to watch you, Mason.”

Liam sits at a long table with other recruits on each side. One by one, the emcee calls them by name and bellows out their stats. The audience erupts with clapping. I’m in the back, leaning against the wall with my dad, while Sterling is in the front row, dressed in Auburn colors. I wish I could see Liam’s face, but the lights are bright, and you can barely make out the features of the people on the platform. When Liam took to the stage, he still hadn’t made a decision. I don’t envy him, and I have a feeling he’s about to do something reckless and stupid—like announce he’s not going to college.

Cameras start clicking, and the crowd roars. One of the recruits has chosen a school, but I wasn’t paying attention. My focus is on Liam. I wish I could be up there with him, offering him a comforting hand, but that would alert people to the fact that he’s lost right now.

“Liam Westbury,” the commentator calls his name. I stand up straighter, focus on my friend, and listen while the speaker rattles off Liam’s stats. Win after win, breaking this record and that, and the unprecedented four state titles. They go on and on. I whistle, letting him know I’m there. That I’ve got his back on whatever he decides.

“Mr. Westbury, please tell us where we’ll be watching you play in the fall?”

The crowd goes quiet. So quiet you could hear a pin drop. Liam hesitates and leans forward into the microphone. “This fall, I’ll be playing along the side of my running back, Mason Powell, at the University of Texas. Hook ‘em horns,” he shouts out to the crowd.

The stillness of the crowd is gone, replaced by murmurs. I stand there, with my mouth open. My father leans into me, “Did you know about this?” I shake my head. I don’t know what to think, other than we’re going to win in Texas. Liam and I are unstoppable.

Sterling comes toward me, red in the face. He’s a tall, brutish man. My dad steps in front of me even though I’m as tall as Sterling, and I know, without a doubt, stronger. But Sterling Westbury can hurt people without getting physical.

He points his finger at me. “You’re to blame for this,” he spews. “You and that harlot he fucks around with. You’re ruining his life. I’m sure McWilliams offered you a spot as long as my son committed, and you can bet your ass I’m going to find out about it.”

“That’s enough, Sterling.”

He laughs. It’s snide and menacing. “If you know what’s best for you, you’ll get your son under control.” Sterling looks back at me and says, “Fix this, or I end you.”

As soon as Sterling walks away, my dad ushers me out of the room and back to our hotel, which across the street from the studio. Once the door closes, he asks, “Did McWilliams offer you a spot if Liam chose Texas?” I can’t believe my dad is even asking me something like this.

“No, he didn’t. McWilliams didn’t know Liam was interested. When I told Liam about the offer and asked where he was going, he said the same thing he’s said all year. He didn’t know. I got pissed because Liam literally has everything and everyone falling at his feet, and he continues to listen to his dad. He never stands up for himself so, I told him to tell his dad to fuck off and come with me to Texas. I didn’t think he’d do it. Hell, I didn’t think he was even listening to me.” My dad’s eyes go wide. “Sorry for swearing.”

“It’s fine,” he says, waving his hand in the air. “We have a bigger issue with Sterling.”

“I’m sorry.”

My dad shakes his head. “Nothing for you to worry about. Let’s go downstairs and sign your letter of intent.” I know what my dad is thinking—sign it now before Sterling has a chance to ruin things for me. What a fucking piece of shit he is. Someday, I’m going to tell him.

When we get back downstairs, Liam’s not in the room, and neither is Sterling. I’m sure Liam’s getting his ass reamed. I find Coach McWilliams, who doesn’t seem happy to see me, which really sucks. “Hey, Coach. I’m ready to sign.”

“Yep,” he says and then tells me to follow him. I do, and when we get to his table, he hands me a one-page letter detailing my responsibility and that of the school’s. I sign on the dotted line, shake his hand, and tell him I’ll see him in July for camp.

When I get back upstairs, I knock on Liam’s door. There’s no answer. There’s no answer at dinner time or in the morning when I knock for breakfast and when it’s time to leave for the airport. Before we check out of the hotel, dad verifies that Sterling Westbury has checked out. Otherwise, he was going to file a missing person’s report for Liam. After the clerk confirms they checked out the night before, Dad and I make our way to the airport. The flight home is miserable in the sense that I feel entirely responsible for fucking things up for Liam.

Twenty-Six

Katelyn cuddles next to me while we sit on the couch, while my parent's lounge in their new, matching recliners. She’s flipping through a photo album my mom gave her as a gift with the past three years of our lives documented, culminating with our recent graduation. Every so often, I glance down at the book and catch her tracing the outline of a face—mine, hers, Josie’s, or Liam’s. I had no idea my mom planned to do this, but it turned out pretty damn awesome. Memory books are all the rage right now, along with cell phones. I think if I hear, “don’t call me until after nine,” another damn time from people with these phones, it’ll be too soon.

For the past two months, I’ve lived with perpetual anger. I’m pissed because I feel like I’m walking on eggshells where Liam’s concerned. I know he regrets his choice of college and blames me. Hell, his father does and has let me know more times than I can count on how I’ve fucked up his son’s life. I’m sorry, but if Liam is going to make a life-altering decision based on one sentence, that’s on him. Not me. Anytime I brought up going to college together, my thoughts ended up under the rug. For as long as I live, I’ll never understand Liam. He could’ve easily told Sterling to take a long walk off the cliff, but Sterling holds all the cards. Liam doesn’t talk about it much, but he has a trust fund, and on more than one occasion, Sterling has threatened him with it. I guess money is more important than happiness.

With the college issue aside, I’m angry Liam and Josie were named prom king and queen. It’s not that I wanted the crown, but I wanted Katelyn to have it. Call me selfish, but after all these years, I want some acknowledgment. Honestly, I’m tired of being known as the guy on Liam’s left, his best friend, and the one who helped him break records. I’m bitter, and at eighteen, that’s the last emotion I should feel. Katelyn told me she was okay with Josie being queen, but the smudged make-up told me another story on the night of our last prom. She was hurt. Anyone could see it, but no one will ever know. Everyone at the dance probably assumed we got in a fight that night. Sometimes, I wonder if Liam and I need a break from each other, that maybe four years at different schools will make us stronger friends because right now, I’m not sure I can do another year. I know it’s what I wanted, but after this year, I’m not sure it’s the best thing for me.

Of course, there’s a strain on our relationship because of Nick. I get it. Liam doesn’t like him, but I do. The problem is, they’re both strong-willed, hard-headed people who go full force after what they want. Nick wants Josie. Liam has Josie. Liam feels Nick wants whatever he has. Liam is also jealous that Nick outplayed him when it came to baseball. It was Nick who won all-state honors, with Liam coming in second. It was Nick who pitched the no-hitter to win the state baseball title and who the scouts came to watch game after game. When he joined the football team, I thought Liam would lose his shit. Nick was Liam’s backup, and he made sure Nick knew it. They say rivalries are good for you, but not in this case. I sometimes wonder if Liam would be different if Nick hadn’t enrolled at Beaumont High.

And then, shit like graduation happens, and Liam’s parents don’t show up. What kind of parents don't show up for their son’s graduation? My mom wept for Liam when she saw the Westbury’s chairs remain unoccupied. Liam knew. Hell, everyone knew. I can’t imagine how he feels, and that’s when I feel the most for him. That’s when I can justify the shit that he does because he’s always hurting. To make graduation even worse, Josie’s parents didn’t invite him along to their family dinner, leaving him without anyone. He has always been welcomed at my house but would just never show up. Not on a day like that. Liam went where he could and ended up at Candy Appleton’s house. Not the best decision, but he wanted to forget, and free-flowing booze helps you do that.

The phone rings, and I extract myself from Katelyn. It’s a call I’ve been waiting for and something I need to discuss with my parents and with Katelyn. Since May, I’ve struggled with my decision to accept the offer from the University of Texas. I want to play football, but I’m not sure I want to do it so far from home. At night, when I’m alone, these are things I think about, and I ask myself if I’m doing the right thing for me. Of course, the thought of being away from Katelyn destroys me. I cry just thinking about not seeing her every day. I get this probably means we should spend some time away from each other, but that’s not how I see it. If thinking about her not being next to me all the time evokes that sort of emotion, why would I put myself in that situation? Leaving doesn’t seem logical.

After I hang up, I go back to Katelyn, intent on resuming my position, but she sits up, and my parents put their footrests closed. I have three sets of eyes on me, and I know without asking them why they’re staring at me, what they want.

“I’m going to take it,” I tell them.

Katelyn hugs me. My mom cries, and I’m not sure if they’re happy or sad tears, and my dad nods and returns to watching television. I’ve made a huge change, one that I’ll have to live with for the rest of my life, and I can only hope it’s for the best.

With everything loaded into the back of my truck, Katelyn and I head out of town. The four of us are going camping. This will be the last time, at least until next summer, that we’ll be together. We have five nights of being in the woods ahead of us, telling ghost stories, talking about the stupid things we’ve done over the past three years, and thinking about our futures. Weeks ago, when I went hiking with Nick, I found this place and thought it would be perfect for Liam, the girls, and me to spend some quality time together.

Liam and Josie follow behind us. Every so often, Katelyn looks over her shoulder to make sure they’re still there. Unfortunately, they hit a rough patch and almost broke up because Josie thought Liam cheated on her. Liam and I may not see eye-to-eye on many things lately, but he would never do something like that to Josie. What he went through with graduation really did a number on his psyche, and I think he just needed someone other than me to talk to, and Candy was there. Liam says nothing happened, and I believe him, and Katelyn believes Josie. I told Katelyn that our friends' issues are not ours, and we need to keep it that way.

The four of us work to get our campsite in working order. Once we’ve pitched the tents and gathered firewood, we meet near the campfire, where Katelyn has set up four chairs.

“I can’t believe this is it. Our last hurrah.” Liam points his freshly opened bottle of beer toward me. Josie leans into him, and Katelyn squeezes my hand, reminding me that I have something to tell him. I clear my throat and kick the dirt in front of me. It’s a stall tactic if anything.

“What’s up, man?” Liam asks as he sets his bottle of beer on the ground. He knows.

I shrug, and for the life of me, I don’t understand why. “I have something to tell you.”

“What’s up?” Liam sounds like a broken record, and I know I’m the reason for it.

Katelyn kisses my shoulder. It’s supposed to be a confidence booster, but now I’m second-guessing everything. Why did I wait so long to tell him? “I’ve decided to stay and go to school with Katelyn,” I blurt out as fast as I can, hoping my words are jumbled, and Liam doesn’t understand me. I want this to be the case so I can speak with more conviction.

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t want to leave, Katelyn.” My words are weak and softly spoken. Not how I imagined any of this would go.

“So, you just. . .” Liam looks at me, Josie, and then Katelyn, and then leans forward. I hear him ask Josie if she knew but don’t hear or see her respond to him. Katelyn promised me she wouldn’t tell Josie, and I trusted her to keep my secret.

“Liam –”

He holds his hand up, clearly not ready to let me explain. Liam inhales deeply and then says, “I chose the University of Texas because of you, and now you’re not going?” His words have so much bite that he sounds like Sterling.

“I’m in love.” It’s not the best answer, but it’s the one I have right now. Love should be enough, but so should friendship.

“And you don’t think I am? I was going to ask Josie to go to school with me until you told me about Texas. I had an offer from them and thought you’d appreciate us playing together. I wanted to take her out of Beaumont and never return but didn’t ask her because I didn’t want Katelyn to be alone.”

“Thanks –” Katelyn starts to say, but he cuts her off.

“Just stop, both of you. Why couldn’t you tell me this before we got here? Afraid I’d bail?” Liam stands and glares at me. I deserve it and wish like hell I could stand up for myself with him.

“Liam –”

“What, Mason? What on earth do you have to say? Is it that you didn’t want me to go to college with you? Because if that’s the case, you should’ve fucking said something when you barged into my hotel room. Do you really think I want to go to Texas? Fuck no. I did it for you, so you wouldn’t be alone because you kept going on and on about your damn scholarship, and I thought if I were there to help and support you, things would be okay. But, boy, was I fucking wrong?” Liam grabs his hair and starts pulling. He screams. It’s hard, bone-chilling, and full of anguish. It’s pain that I’ve caused him. I’m no better than Sterling at this moment. I’ve let him down when I’m the one person he could always count on. He bends at his waist and tries to catch his breath. “And to think I could’ve had a decent fucking home life these past few months had I chosen the right school, but who the hell gives a shit about that?”

Liam kicks his chair into the fire. Josie and Katelyn jump, and I lunge for the chair, pulling it out of the flames before they engulf it. He stalks off into the woods, leaving the three of us there.

“How could you?” Josie asks.

I shake my head slowly. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me,” she demands. “Help me understand why you turned your back on him when he chose the school because of you.”

“Liam, and I, we don’t want the same things out of life. I’m going to college to get an education, so I can get a job and marry Katelyn. I don’t care anymore about titles or records or whether the NFL is watching what I do out there. That’s the life you and Liam want, and you should go get it. You should go to school with Liam. You should be there for him.”

Josie doesn’t say anything. Instead, she gets up and heads into the woods, following the same path Liam took.

“Am I wrong?”

“No,” Katelyn says. “They’re different from us.”

“I feel like no matter what I do, I’m making a mistake.”

Katelyn cups my cheek. “Not with me, you’re not. I love you, Mason. I want to build a life with you. If you’re in Texas, there’s a good chance I’m following you, and we both know I can’t afford that.” I hate that her parents will only help her if she stays local. She kisses me. “If you need to be with Liam, I understand.”

I kiss her back. “I need to be with you.”

Liam and Josie don’t return to the campground when we go to bed, and when we wake in the morning, their tent is gone. Katelyn cries, and I’m not sure if it’s because our friendships are ruined or because this all could’ve been avoided. In hindsight, I should’ve never suggested Liam and I go to the same school and taken the hint last fall when I realized it was a long shot that I’d ever play on his left again.

Katelyn and I camp for another night and then decide to head home. I drop her off at Josie’s and then search the town for Liam. I find him at the water tower by himself. I climb the ladder, sit down next to him, and clear my throat.

“I was—”

Liam stands and looks down at me. “Fuck off and go to hell.”

My mouth opens to say something, anything, but nothing comes out. Never has he ever said anything like this to me in all the years that I’ve known him. Liam climbs down the ladder and gets into this truck. My throat tightens, and the realization that my friendship with Liam is over settles onto me.

I have ruined everything.

Twenty-Seven

This is it. The last time we’ll all be together before college. We’re all meeting at the tower before we go our separate ways. Sure, some of us aren’t going far, but many are leaving the state. It’s going to be a long four months until we can meet up again for a night of debauchery at the water tower. It’s my last attempt at reconciling with Liam before we each leave for college. Two days ago, he said things I know he didn’t mean, and I plan to grovel at his feet to forgive me. I know I blindsided him, but deep down, I suspect he knows I’ve made the right decision. He’s going to flourish in Texas, and I’m going to be his biggest fan, rooting as loud as I can each weekend. It’ll suck when our games are at the same time, but I suspect I’ll be able to watch at least half of them.

Katelyn’s leaning into me when we pull into the parking area. She’s been quiet, and a bit sad after everything went down between Liam and me. There’s a massive bonfire, a ton of cars and trucks, and someone has music booming through their audio system. As soon as we get out, I kiss her and say, “I’m going to go find Liam and make things right.”

“Good luck,” she says. The past couple of days haven’t been easy on her either. Josie hasn’t answered any of Katelyn’s calls and isn’t home when she goes over to see her. I get that what I did messed with everyone’s plans, but I’ve apologized, and there isn’t anything I can do to change what has happened. I have to do what’s best for me, and I feel that going to school with Katelyn is it.

I don’t know how long I search through the crowd, the faces sitting on the tower's walkway, and through the woods surrounding the area, looking for Liam. I finally give up and head toward the bonfire and find Katelyn, who happens to be standing next to Josie. They have their arms wrapped around each other.

“Hey.” I kiss Katelyn on her cheek. “Where’s Liam?”

Josie wipes at her eyes. “He’s gone.”

“What do you mean?”

“He already left for school.” She says this, and my heart sinks. He can’t have left already. Tomorrow was the day we planned to leave.

“What? Why?”

She shrugs. “I don’t know, something about quarterbacks getting there a couple of days early.”

This can’t be. Liam never mentioned having to report to campus before the rest of the team when we made plans to leave together. Did he leave because of me? What in the hell have I done?

“I’m sorry, Josie.”

“Right, so you’ve said.”

“Okay, that’s enough,” Katelyn barks out. “Mason has always been by your side, Josie. You’ve complained to him about everything, referred to him as your best friend, and begged him to help Liam notice you. You don’t get to be a jerk to him because your boyfriend left early for college, and you don’t get to be an ass because my boyfriend decided to stay with me. Liam could’ve stayed, and he could’ve taken you with him. So, if you’re going to be a bitch, do it someplace else because I’m over the drama. Life happens. Mason made a choice, and you don’t have to like it, but you have to respect it because he’s always respected your decisions.”

Wow. Pissed off Katelyn is a sight to behold. I’ve never seen her snap at anyone before and sort of wish I had it on video to watch this moment again. She glances at me, and I smile, letting her know I appreciate everything she said.

Josie nods but says nothing. She rests her head on Katelyn’s shoulder, and that’s my cue to leave them alone. They need their girl time, and honestly, I need some time with the guys. I start to climb the ladder and realize I’ve never been up there without Liam, and it doesn’t feel right. In fact, none of us should be here without him. He found this place, and none of us would know about it if it weren't for him. Except, he’s supposed to be here. He planned this going away party or whatever it is.

The girls are huddled together when I make my way toward them. Instead of stopping, I head to my truck and grab the wool blanket Katelyn uses to cover her legs when the heater isn’t working correctly. I drape it around their shoulders, and they both turn to look at me. “I don’t want my girls to freeze,” I tell them. Katelyn and Josie lean into me, and I keep my arms on their shoulders. Liam should be here. He should be standing next to me, holding his girl, while I hold mine.

The party is in full swing when Nick shows up. Everyone is happy to see him since he left a day after graduation to continue his studies. “Hey, man,” I say when he reaches us. “How’s college life?”

“Hard,” he says. “Sometimes I think I’m crazy, but I want to get this shit done. When do you leave for Texas?”

“Ah, I’m not.” I motion for him to follow me to the back of my truck, where we grab a couple of beers. “I decided to stay here. I’ll play for State, get an education, and marry Katelyn.”

“Still planning to marry her, huh?”

I nod. “Yep. That’s probably the only thing I haven’t wavered on. I’d marry her tomorrow if she’d allow it, but she says she’s too young and she really needs her parents’ help with school. They’d cut her off.”

“That’s messed up.”

“It is. So, we’ll wait. I get it. I have someone funding my expenses, and she’s on her own. Even Josie’s parents are paying for her schooling.”

Nick lifts the bottle to his lips and takes a drink. “Is she still with Liam?”

“Yeah.” I honestly don’t see them lasting four years unless she goes to Texas to be with him. They’re incredibly jealous, and I suspect Liam will wonder what the hell she’s doing without him, and Josie will wonder if Liam’s talking to other girls. If high school has shown us anything, we know women like to chase Liam, and most don’t give a rat’s ass if he has a girlfriend.

“What about you?” Nick and the college girl he hooked up with didn’t last more than a couple of months, which seems par for the course for him.

“Nope. There have been a couple of coeds but nothing serious.”

“Just enough to get your mind off school?”

Nick laughs. “That’s exactly it.”

We make our way back to the girls, and as I suspect, Nick stands next to Josie. I know he’s cementing his next-in-line status for all those guys who are sniffing around her, but I hope for his sake, he’s willing to wait because I don’t see Josie giving him the time of day. At least, not as long as Liam is in the picture.

When the night starts to wind down, Nick suggests we head to the top of the tower for one last beer toss, but I decline. I have no intentions of ever going up there again until Liam and I have patched things up. Hopefully, by Thanksgiving, and if not, we’ll hash it out at Christmas. Either way, I’m not letting him hold this against me for long. We just need a little time away from each other, and then we’ll be fine.

I move to campus tomorrow, and this will be mine and Katelyn’s last night together until she and Josie move in, and as luck would have it, my parents are out for the night. Katelyn is spending the night, which isn’t out of the blue. What is, is the fact that my parents are not going to be at home. My dad rented a hotel room to celebrate their anniversary, leaving the house empty for me, which Katelyn and I took full advantage of.

Katelyn gets into my truck and slams the door. I don’t even ask what happened in her house because it’s always the same story. Her mother disapproves of me, and I’ve long accepted that.

“Want to rent a movie?”

“Yeah and get some popcorn and candy. I need to eat my feelings tonight.”

“Whatever you say, my queen.”

We get to the video store, a mom-and-pop place, and look through the rows of videos. When Katelyn and I meet at the end of a row, I motion toward the curtain that separates the X-rated movies from the general population.

“Mason!”

“What?” I ask. “We’ve talked about watching something together. Why not tonight? Just think, we can try something we see.” I waggle my eyebrows at her, and she blushes. Katelyn looks around to see if anyone is watching. When she sees that no one is paying attention to us, she takes my hand and leads us behind the curtain.

Before us are rows and rows of porn. Personally, I’ve never seen so many sets of tits before in my life, and as we go shelf by shelf, I notice that the videos go from very soft to hardcore.

Katelyn picks up a box and gasps. I quickly take it from her hands and put it back on the shelf. “No,” I tell her.

“What, why not?”

“Because he has a bigger dick than I do. I don’t need you dreaming about a guy like that.”

Katelyn laughs. “Porn is fake.”

“They’re having sex, regardless.”

“Yes, but it’s a job. I bet they don’t even enjoy it.”

I scoff. “I know you girls can fake shit, but guys can’t. It feels fucking amazing being inside your . . .” I can’t bring myself to say vagina or pussy in front of her, so I stop talking.

“My what?” she asks as she tugs on my belt loop. “My what, Mason?”

“You know what.”

“I want to hear you say it.”

“No.”

“Yes. I say cock and dick all the time,” she says quietly. “I always tell you that I want to suck your dick, but you never say you want to eat my pussy.”

“Katelyn!”

She giggles. I should’ve never suggested we come in here. I think she’s having far too much fun, but I promised her a long time ago I’d never watch a movie unless she was with me.

“How about this one?” She holds up a video with a couple on it. The woman is nude, and the man is behind her with one hand on her neck and the other between her legs.

“What’s the premise?” I ask, jokingly.

She flips over the back and reads the minimal plot about a man who encounters a lonely woman.

“Let’s get it!”

All I can think about the entire drive home was how the man at the counter looked at me and how I haven’t felt embarrassed about sex since I was sixteen. Right now, I’m counting all the ways tonight can go wrong, from me forgetting to take the video out of the player, to the neighbors hearing the moaning, to my parents walking in while I’m balls deep in Katelyn, and she’s telling me to spank her. These thoughts alone make me want to turn my truck around and take the movie back. But I don’t, and when we get into the house, I close all the curtains, lock the front door, and follow Katelyn to my room.

She puts the video into the VCR and then sits down next to me on the bed. After the beginning credits, there are approximately ten lines of dialogue until the woman drops to her knees and starts sucking the guy off.

“Well then,” I say when she grabs her tits.

“I’m not touching myself,” Katelyn says.

“Okay.” I’m not going to argue with her because I’m happy touching her rack by myself. We sit there for a few more minutes until we both start growing uncomfortable. We aren’t afraid to be naked in front of each other, and both strip out of our clothes. I touch her immediately, losing interest in the movie. Katelyn watches maybe thirty minutes of the video before I’ve turned her on so much that she’s begging for me to try out a new position. The thing is, she doesn’t have to beg. I’m willing to do whatever she asks because I just want to make her happy.

Katelyn and I lay on our sides in my twin-size bed. She’s wearing my t-shirt and nothing else while I’m in a pair of boxers. I push her hair behind her ear and then rest my hand on her hip. Tonight, she got to be herself. She got to scream out my name, throw her head back in ecstasy, and ride me like she wasn’t going to see me for months, not weeks. When she finished taking her sexual aggression out on me, I flipped her over on her back and made love to her. I went slow and looked into her eyes with each thrust. I’m not going to see her for three weeks, twenty-one long and painful days. It’ll be the longest we’ve been apart since we started dating, and I’m not looking forward to it.

“Did you like being on top?”

She nods. “You hit different spots. It felt really good.”

“What about doggie style?”

“I hate that name,” she says. “But that feels good too. I’m glad I’m learning all of this with you. I can’t imagine being with anyone else, Mason.”

“I’m going to ask you to marry me someday.”

“And I’m going to say yes,” she tells me. “Just not tonight.”

“Tomorrow then?”

She kisses me. “Not tomorrow.”

“Next week it is then.”

I don’t know if it’ll happen next week, next month, or next year, but it’ll happen. Katelyn’s my future, and I pray every day that I’m hers.

Twenty-Eight

Even though it’s not yet after nine at night, I still dial Liam’s cell phone. The way he left, without saying goodbye, doesn’t sit well with me. I need him to know how sorry I am and how I’ll always have his back. And right now, I can’t imagine how lonely he must feel. I should’ve known better than to pull the plug on the University of Texas, and now that I’m leaving for college, I wonder if I made the wrong decision. Is following the woman you love to college wrong? Part of me feels like it is, but then I think about not seeing her every day, and I become sick to my stomach. His phone rings on the other end and then goes to voicemail. I hang up. I’ve left him messages, and he hasn’t returned any of those. Why leave another one?

The benefit of going to school so close is I don’t have to have a long awkward goodbye with my parents, and they don’t have to move me to campus. My dad helps me load up my truck, and my mom hands me five pounds of pasta, just in case I get hungry and the cafeteria isn’t open. They promise to be at my first game. Mom gives me the longest hug known to man and says, “Come home to do your laundry.” I can tell you right now that I fully intend on taking her up on that offer.

I stop at Katelyn’s before I head out of town. Beaumont State is about a forty-five minute drive and technically not in Beaumont, but that’s semantics. It’s a nice school, and I’m going to get an education.

Katelyn is in tears when she reaches my truck. I get out and pull her into my arms. “It’s just a couple of weeks.” Six, to be exact, but she’ll be so busy shopping with Josie for dorm stuff, time will fly by. Plus, we’ll talk every night, and the girls plan to come to see me on Sundays—the only day I don’t have practice or some sort of team-related event.

“You know, it’s not too late to try out for the cheerleading team.”

Katelyn laughs and rests her head on my chest. “I’ve thought about it. I don’t like the idea of you having a different rally girl.”

“No one can ever take your place.” I press my lips to the top of her head and inhale her fruity shampoo. “You’ll always be my number one.”

“And you’re mine,” she says into my shirt.

I kiss her again and step back slightly to look at her. “I love you, Katelyn.”

“I know you do,” she says. “I love you, Mase.”

We kiss again. It’s sweet and tender. She helps me into my truck and keeps her hands on my door. “Go kick some ass, Mason Powell.”

“I’ll see you soon.”

“Not soon enough.” She starts to lean through the opening, and I meet her halfway. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For loving me enough to stay.”

Katelyn knows I’ve struggled with the decision I made. She never asked me to stay, and she never encouraged me to go. This road I’m on, it’s because it’s where I want to be. If someone asked me at sixteen what I saw my future as, the answer would’ve been simple—playing football with Liam—because that is what I wanted to do. But then Katelyn came along, and everything changed. I know we’re young, and I never thought I’d be the type of man who would want to get married so young, but I don’t see the point in waiting. When I close my eyes at night, she is what I see, not football. If I had gone to Texas, I would’ve taken a spot from someone who wanted to be there, and I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.

She steps back, allowing me to leave. I put my truck into drive and slowly release the brake. When I get to the corner, I look in my rearview mirror to find that she’s not there. Oddly, I’m okay with this because in a few weeks, she’ll be living on campus, and I’ll get to see her whenever I want.

On my way out of town, I stop at the convenience store where Liam used his fake ID to buy us beer. At some point, they stopped carding either of us and let us buy whatever. As tempted as I am to load up on beer, I need to turn over a new leaf. The last thing I want is to develop a drinking problem in college. Or worse, be so hungover that I can’t perform on the field. I walk up and down the aisles, grabbing snacks for the road and for later. The cafeteria on campus is open, but the hours are limited until all the students come back. I have the pasta my mom sent with me, and I know there is a microwave in the common area, but I get the munchies when I’m bored, and I have a feeling tonight is going to be one of those nights.

“Aren’t you missing something,” the clerk says when I set everything down.

“Nah, I’m good.”

“Where’s your buddy?” she rings up my items and sets them in a plastic bag.

“Texas.”

“We are going to miss him around here.”

You’re not the only one. “Yeah, but he’ll be on TV every Saturday.” I hand over the cash and take my bag. “See ya.”

The drive to campus is easy. It’s pretty much a straight shot from town after taking a couple of left and right turns. I meet with the coaching staff, get a few pats on the back, and they tell me how happy they are to have me. Once I have my keys and room assignment, I head there to check out my space. I already know the room won’t be huge, but it’s going to suffice for four years. The door to my room is open, and there’s a family in there, gushing over their son.

“Hey,” I say as I enter. “Mason Powell.” When I filled out my paperwork for housing, I told them I wanted a random person, preferably from the football team. There are a lot of kids from Beaumont High here, and I could’ve easily roomed with one of them, but I want to expand my friend base and get to know my teammates.

My teammate steps forward and shakes my hand. “Nice to meet you. I’m Phil Bailey.”

“Nice to meet you.” Phil and I spoke on the phone a couple of times after room assignments came out, but this is the first time we’re meeting. He’s from New York and plans to become a teacher.

“And these are my parents and my little sister.”

I go around and shake everyone’s hands. We chat for a couple of minutes, and then I excuse myself to get my stuff. I’m halfway down the hall when Phil and his father catch up with me.

“I’m sure you don’t need help, son,” his father says. “But we’re coming anyway.” My heart seizes. In a matter of minutes, this man has done exactly what I always hoped Sterling would do, accept me.

Football is grueling. I used to think daily doubles were horrible, but college football is a whole other game. I get that we are preparing for the season. New players. New plays. It’s a ton of learning. We watch game film, take notes, watch more game film, and learn what we’re watching. What differs from high school is that in college, we’re a family. Always together. We eat together. We’ll study together. If one suffers, we all suffer. If one fails, we all fail. If one succeeds, we all succeed. Coach's motto is a way of life for me now.

Katelyn and Josie are moving in today. In fact, over the next three days, the rest of the student body is moving in. For the past few weeks, the campus has been relatively quiet with just football and the two soccer teams on campus, but now, it’s busy. Loud, even. Someone on the student body council or move-in committee thought it would be genius to use whistles throughout the day as a way to pep everyone up. The first couple of times I heard the whistle this morning, I was okay with it, but now it’s been an hour, and the piercing sound is grating on my nerves.

Phil and I specifically signed up to help move students into the same dorm where Katelyn and Josie will live. I’m not busting my butt unless I get to see my girl because the last month and a half have been torture. When I left, Katelyn and I had plans to see each other on Sundays, but that hasn’t worked out. There is a ton of team bonding, and I couldn’t get away. Thankfully, the lack of seeing my girl ends today.

Josie and her parents arrive at school first. As soon as she’s out of the backseat, I have her in my arms. “Damn, I didn’t realize how much I missed you until just now.”

“Ugh, put me down, you big lug.”

I set her on her feet but don’t let go of her. “How’s Liam?”

“He’s good. Misses me, of course.”

But not me.

“That’s good. We’ll be able to catch his game on Saturday, at least the first half because they play at one, and we play at four.”

“Yeah, well, I’ll be late to yours.”

I pretend her words have broken my heart, but I fully expect her to stay and yell at the television while Liam’s playing. It’s where I would be if I didn’t have a game. I introduce Josie to Phil, say hi to her parents, and then move her in. Of course, the girls would have to be on the third floor, and it’s one of the hottest days of the year. We should be lounging by Katelyn’s pool right now instead of busting our asses by carrying suitcases.

After my second armful of Josie’s things, I find Katelyn standing outside next to a pile of her stuff. As soon as she sees me, she runs into my arms. “I’ve missed you so much.” She peppers every inch of my face with kisses.

“God, you’re a sight for sore eyes.”

“Please never leave me again,” she says into my neck.

“I won’t, baby.” This reaffirms my decision to stay. Katelyn needs me just as much as I need her. I set her down and kiss her. When we part, I ask, “Where are your parents?”

She shrugs. “Dad went to park the car. Said he’d be back in a few minutes. We unloaded, so others had space to park.” I don’t bother asking where her mom is. Frankly, I’m fine with her not being here.

When Phil and Josie make their way over to us, I introduce Phil to Katelyn. He hugs her and says he feels like he already knows her. Katelyn’s dad finds his way back to us, and in one trip, we can get Katelyn’s stuff to her room. Unfortunately, I can only stay for a few minutes and tell her I’ll be back later so the three of us can go to orientation. We have a couple of freshman things to take care of, but there’s a party tonight that we’ll go to, and we’ll have fun. I know the absence of Liam weighs heavy on all of us, and I wish I could change that. The only saving grace for me right now is knowing that Josie speaks to him daily, and I can get my updates from her. I still call, now and again, but I don’t leave any messages. I figure when he’s ready, he’ll call me, and we’ll hash it out. I refuse to believe our friendship is over.

Twenty-Nine

There’s a loud bang on my door, and someone says, “Powell, phone call. Your chick is wailing, man. Hurry up.”

I spring from my bed, drop my textbook on the floor, and rush to the door. One of the guys on the basketball team is holding the receiver out for me to take. We have two phones on the floor for personal use, and some people have phones in their room or are lucky enough to have a cell phone. Unfortunately, I’m not so fortunate.

“Katelyn? Hello? What’s wrong, baby?”

“MASON! Oh, God, Mason, he’s gone!”

The blood-curdling scream breaks me. Every fiber of my being turns cold, and I freeze. The voice is not Katelyn’s but Josie’s. “Who? What? Josie, what’s going on? Where’s Katelyn?”

“I need you,” she cries into the phone. “Oh, God, he’s gone.”

I hang up and go back to my room to get the room number where Katelyn is studying. I tell whoever answers the phone that Katelyn needs to go back to her room immediately, and then I run as fast as I can down the stairs and across the lawn to Josie and Katelyn’s dorm. I take the stairs three at a time and push my way through the group of onlookers who have gathered at her door.

“Hey, man, is she going to be okay? I saw the whole thing.” Some guy says as he lets me pass.

Saw what? What is he talking about? I don’t bother to ask him what he means and go right into Josie’s room. I find her sitting on the floor, rocking back and forth, wailing. I stumble, fall to the ground and somehow end up next to her. “I’m here. I’m here. What happened? Where’s Katelyn?”

“He’s gone, Mase. He left.” She wails louder, uncontrollably. Her tears soak my shirt.

“Who’s gone, Josie?”

“Liam,” she cries out. “He left me.”

I’m so confused. I need her to calm down. The door opens, and Katelyn comes in. She sees us on the floor, and her eyes go wide. She drops down next to us and takes Josie into her arms. “I’m here. Everything is going to be okay,” she says in a calming tone. “I’ve got you now.”

Only Josie doesn’t calm down. She cries harder, and I’m starting to freak out. I begin to pace, waiting for someone to tell me what the fuck is going on. Katelyn is soothing her best friend, rocking her back and forth like a mother would a child. When there’s a lull, I finally speak up.

“Can one of you tell me what’s going on?”

“Josie, honey. What happened?”

Josie speaks but hiccups through her words. I manage to piece together what she’s saying. “Are you telling me Liam was just here and broke up with you?” I ask.

“Yes,” she bawls.

This doesn’t sound like Liam at all. “What did he say?”

“That he . . . that . . .” she pauses to try and catch her breath. “He quit the team and school. I tried to get him to come in so we could call his coach. I told him everything would be okay, and we’ll just call his coach and fix things, but he said . . .” the hiccups return with such force Katelyn starts rubbing Josie’s back.

“Josie, what else did he say?” Katelyn prods her for more information.

Her breathing is labored and comes in gasps. If she doesn’t get it under control, I fear she will hyperventilate. “He said, ‘I can’t be with you anymore, Josephine,’ and then he walked away.”

“Okay, sweetie. This isn’t the end of the world. We’ll go to his house, you guys can talk, and everything will be fine. I’m sure he’s just stressed and needs a break.” I try to soothe her. None of this sounds like Liam.

Josie shakes her head. “He meant it.”

I crouch down so we’re at eye level. “How do you know?”

“Because he’s never called me Josephine. I’m Josie or his JoJo. Never has he used my full name.” She inhales and chokes out a sob. “He’s gone.”

I stand and start pacing again while Katelyn helps Josie onto her bed. Katelyn comes to me and pulls me as far away from Josie as possible. “You have to find him,” she says to me.

“I think he just needs a break.”

Katelyn shakes her head. “Josie’s pregnant, Mason.”

My mouth drops open. I try to say something, anything, but I can’t get the words to form, let alone come out of my mouth. I glance down at Josie’s stomach. She doesn’t look pregnant but then again, I haven’t seen very many pregnant women in my life. The more I stand here and stare, the more I start to see red. There is no way Liam would leave Josie like this. I don’t buy it. I don’t care what he’s going through.

“Does Liam know?”

She shakes her head again. “Not unless she told him tonight, but she just found out and was planning to tell him next week when she went to see him.”

I walk over to Josie and kneel next to her. Her eyes are bloodshot, and her face is so red it looks like she has a sunburn. “Josie, does Liam know about the baby?”

Another round of sobs tells me everything I need to know. I kiss Katelyn’s cheek and tell her I’ll be back. I run back to my dorm, grab my keys, and head to the parking lot. I’m half hoping to find Liam sitting in his truck, contemplating what he’s done, but he’s not here. I drive back to town and straight to Liam’s house.

My fists bang on Liam’s door until it opens. Sterling, the dick, Westbury, stands there, looking smug while he holds a glass filled with some type of liquor in his hand.

“Liam here?”

“Surely, you know where Liam is. He’s at that Godforsaken school you left him at.”

“He’s not, and you know he’s not. I need to see him. It’s urgent.” I try to look past Sterling, but his broad shoulders block my view from looking into the house. Right now, I want to punch him in the face.

“Son, I assure you, Liam is not here.”

“Don’t ever call me, son,” I spit out.

Sterling chuckles and shuts the door in my face. I hit it once again with my fist and grunt loud enough for him to hear me. When he doesn’t answer I get back into my truck and head to the water tower. If he’s not at home, he’ll be there. Ever since he discovered the place, it’s been his home away from home.

When I pull into the clearing, his truck isn’t here. I slam my hand down on my steering wheel and scream. “Fuck! Where the fuck are you, Liam?” I try every place I can think of, Beaumont High’s football field, the baseball field, the store where we buy beer, and I even drive by my house to see if he stopped there to talk to my parents.

Nothing.

Josie’s right. He’s gone.

I finally head back to campus. It’s late, and I’m emotionally exhausted. After parking, I head to the girls’ dorm and find them curled up in Josie’s bed.

“Hey,” Katelyn says when I come in. “Did you find him?”

I shake my head slowly. “No. I looked everywhere I could think of.” I sit down on the edge of the bed and listen to Josie’s muffled cries. “Has she had anything to drink?”

“No, I haven’t left her.”

I get up and go to their small refrigerator and pull out a bottle of juice. Katelyn helps her sit up and tells Josie to take small drinks. I sit down again and rest my elbows on my knees. We’re eighteen. Nothing like this should be happening to us.

“Josie, does Liam know you’re pregnant?” I know I asked her earlier, but she didn’t exactly give me an answer.

“No,” she squeaks out. “When he showed up at the door, I invited him in, but he wouldn’t move. I knew something was wrong, but the only thing he said was that he dropped out. I wanted him to come in so we could talk and figure things out. I would’ve told him, but he didn’t give me a chance.”

“We need to call him.” I get up and head to the phone in the hall. There are a few people around, but for the most part, it’s quiet. I dial his number, and just like every other time I’ve called, it goes to voicemail. “Hey, man. You really need to call me. It’s not about you getting back together with Josie or quitting school, but it’s important, and we need to talk.”

I wait a few minutes and try again. “Liam, come on, man, you’re my best friend. Call me back. It’s urgent.”

Again, I wait, but the phone never rings. On my way back to the girls’ room, the guy who asked me if Josie was okay lingers near their door. “Can I help you?” I ask him. I’m honestly in no mood to deal with this guy right now.

“Just want to make sure she’s okay. I saw everything.”

“What did you see?”

“Some guy was standing here. One of the girls who lives here kept trying to pull him into the room, but he wouldn’t move. Next thing I know, he’s running down the hall, and she’s screaming bloody murder, but I never saw him go inside, so I don’t know what could’ve happened.”

Instantly, my mind goes places it shouldn’t. I put a reassuring hand on his shoulder and squeeze it. “Both girls are fine,” I tell him. “Nothing but a broken heart.”

“So, she’s not hurt?”

“Not in the way you’re thinking. Thanks for looking out.”

I go back into the room. It’s quiet, but Josie is sitting up. I go to her and pull her into my arms. “Everything is going to be okay.”

“It’s not,” she mumbles into my shirt. “Why did he do this?”

“I don’t know. We’ll find out. He just needs some time to sort through whatever's going on in his head right now. I don’t buy that he left you though, you’re his JoJo. He loves you more than anything, and once you call and tell him that you’re pregnant, he’ll be back.”

“I don’t think this is something I should tell him over the phone.”

“No, it isn’t, but he needs to know, Josie. You can’t keep it from him.”

“I won’t,” she says. “I’ll call him but not now. Everything hurts, and I don’t want to hear his voice tell me he’s not there or have the phone ring and ring and know that he sent me to voicemail.”

“Promise me that you’ll call him?”

“I promise.”

Josie lies back down, and Katelyn goes to her. I lay down on Katelyn’s bed and stare at the ceiling, wishing like hell we were back in high school. I never thought life made sense then, but it was definitely better than this bullshit. At least, if something like this happened, Liam would be at my house and not out there driving the roads. Unless something awful happened to cause him to break up with Josie, he’s got to be hurting.

I don’t know when I fall asleep, but I wake to loud noises out in the hall and the sun shining through the open blinds. Josie and Katelyn are curled up together in Josie’s bed, and she’s having a nightmare. I think about waking her but notice Katelyn’s arm pulls Josie closer to her. I want to be a comfort to my best friend in his time of need, but he’s out there somewhere, avoiding my calls.

I kiss both girls on their cheeks and tell them I’ll be back after class. I suspect Josie isn’t going anywhere today, and Katelyn won’t leave her. Before class, I stop at the cafe and explain that my girl is sick and needs food, and they allow me to take some to-go boxes with me. When I get back to their room, they’re huddled together, and Josie is crying.

“Did he call?”

“No,” Katelyn says.

“Did she call him?”

Katelyn shakes her head. “She will, Mase. Give her time.”

I nod, but time is not our friend right now. Liam needs to hear from Josie sooner rather than later. He needs to know they’re going to have a baby and that he needs to come home. If he doesn’t want to be in Texas, he can enroll here. I’m sure my coach would love to have him. Hell, I know I would.

Thirty

It’s hard to accept that my best friend is gone or missing, or I don’t even know what to call him right now. Days after he broke up with Josie, his number changed. I think his father did this because this seems very unlike Liam. Either way, I’m hurt, sad, and incredibly angry. I can’t believe he didn’t have the nerve to confront me or that he can’t be bothered to call Josie. She left him a message, saying they needed to talk. Now, it’s radio silence. We can’t get a hold of him, and we have no idea what’s going on in his life. I wish that Josie would’ve just told Liam over the phone that she’s pregnant, and then we wouldn’t be here, worrying about whether he cares or not. Every day, I wonder where Liam is and whether he’s okay or hurt. Is he dead? Did some crazy mistress of Sterling’s kidnap him? Did he go for a hike and get lost? At what point do we file a missing person’s report?

I’ve gone back to his house a couple of times, demanding to know where he is, but each time Sterling just laughs at me and says his son is better off where he is because that tramp went and got herself knocked up and is trying to pin the kid on Liam. I wasn’t there when Josie went and told his parents that she was pregnant, but had I been, I would’ve socked Sterling in his mouth for speaking to her the way he did. The thought still crosses my mind when I see him. And when it’s the rare occasion that Bianca answers the door, she tells me to come back when Sterling is home, which leads me to believe he knows where Liam is. I don’t understand why Sterling won’t tell me. It’s not like Liam is playing football somewhere. If he is surely he’d make the news. Still, on occasion, I check the water tower to see if Liam’s there. If he’s around, he’s doing a damn good job of hiding. And if I find out he is in Beaumont and hasn’t come to see Josie and make things right, dude, better run. I hate seeing her struggle.

When Josie told her parents she was pregnant, I thought her father was going to go on a rampage looking for Liam, but he hasn’t. I’m not sure I could be so calm about things if this were my daughter. The important thing is that her parents have been supportive. When Katelyn’s mother found out, she forbade Katelyn from seeing Josie because she was afraid the pregnancy would rub off on her daughter and insisted she move home. Thankfully, my girl saw through her mother’s shit and told her no. While not excited for Josie because of her age, my parents said I needed to be there for my friend. I’m never going away. I will never do that to my niece or nephew, and I’m determined to be the best uncle ever to walk this earth. His or her dad may not be in the picture at the moment, but I am, and I’m going to make sure they always know just how much they’re loved.

My mom was afraid that Katelyn would want a baby. If anything, it’s made us more cautious. I want kids. Hell, I want a whole team of kids, but not now. I don’t want Katelyn ever to feel like her life is a mess. I don’t want her to look in the mirror at her growing belly and cry because she fears she’ll be alone. That’s what Josie does. She cries. A lot, and I hate it. I hate that I can’t ease her pain and help her see that she’s bringing a child into the world that will be so loved. Not just by me, but by her parents and by Katelyn. Even my parents will love her baby. I know it’s not enough and that if Liam were here, things would be better, but it’s all we have at the moment.

My football season is over, and by all accounts, I had a pretty decent freshman season. I doubt I’m not going to be a record-breaker by any means, but nonetheless, we did well, and I had fun. I have some great teammates, and the coaching staff is pretty fun to be around. Still, at the end of the day, I wonder about Liam and where he is and what he’s doing? I still want to talk to him, tell him how I’m doing, and listen to what he says. He’s my best friend, or at least I thought he was.

On my way back to my dorm, a kid from the campus radio station accosts me. All over campus, groups are trying to get you to join their clubs or come to their mixer so they can change your life. At first, the girls and I thought we’d join different clubs and expand our network, so we'll have contacts when we start applying for jobs. He shoves a piece of paper into my hands and says, “See you there,” before running off and attacking the people behind me. I start to wad up the sheet of paper, but something tells me to look at the flyer before I throw it away. Maybe there’s an event I can take Katelyn to. Ever since Josie started showing, Katelyn rarely leaves her alone, which means I spend a lot of my time in their dorm room, usually running back and forth to the cafeteria. I’m not sure if anyone suspects that Josie is pregnant or not. She barely has a bump, and she wears most of my sweatshirts. Josie eats like a bird, and that scares me. Katelyn and I make sure to eat all our meals with her because I swear she’s not eating as she should.

I glance down at the leaflet, and every part of my body turns cold. Liam’s face is staring back at me, except it’s not the Liam I know and grew up with. This guy’s name is Liam Page, and he’s an up-and-coming artist who is taking the radio waves by storm. More so, the on-campus radio station is having a listening party, and we’re all invited.

“What the fuck?” I say as my hand clenches around the paper. “What in the actual fuck!”

“Are you going to go?” A co-ed stops next to me and asks. “I’ve heard this song. It’s amazing. Liam Page is totally my next crush. I just hope he doesn’t turn into a one-hit-wonder because that would suck.”

I stare at her until she moves away from me. There is no way in hell this is the same Liam who wouldn’t stand up to his dad, who was too shy to even look at Josie, who has been my best friend for as long as I can remember, who vanished without a trace. The longer I stare down at the flyer, the angrier and more confused I become. These emotions, mixed with the hurt I feel, are not a good combination for me. I glance around, looking for the kid who thrust this into my hand, but I don’t see him anywhere. I have to know if this is real or if it’s some kind of joke.

You know it’s not a joke.

“But it has to be,” I say aloud, answering the voice inside my head. “There is no way this is the same guy.”

I rush toward the girls’ dorm and make my way to their room. I knock once and open the door. They’ve taken to leaving it unlocked so I can come and go. While I may sleep here, I do most of my studying in my room, where it’s quiet, and I’m not distracted by Katelyn. Plus, I like my roommate, and I feel like a complete ass ditching him. He says he understands and would be the same way if he had a smoking hot girlfriend, but I still feel like a piece of crap for leaving him all the time.

Katelyn and Josie stop what they’re doing and look at me. “Have you heard from Liam?” I ask Josie.

She shakes her head. “You know I haven’t.”

I hand her the advertisement and watch as her mouth drops open. “What’s this?” Katelyn sits down next to her and takes the paper from her hand.

“One of those radio kids handed it to me, and then someone said she’s heard his song, and it’s amazing.” I stand there, shaking my head. “This is some guy using Liam’s likeness, right? Our Liam doesn’t sing.”

Josie slouches forward and covers her face with her hands. She pushes her hair back and then looks at me. “I think it’s him.”

“Why would you think that?” I ask.

“Don’t snap at her, Mason.”

My eyes go to Katelyn, and she’s glaring. “I’m sorry,” I say to both of them. The last thing I want to do is upset Josie. She doesn’t need my attitude on top of the stress she bears.

“Josie, sweetie. Do you know something?” Katelyn asks her in a soothing tone. I wish I could be more like my girl, calm. I marvel at how she handles situations. She’s always looking for the silver lining and rarely flies off the handle. We could all learn a lesson or two from her.

“I don’t know,” Josie says. She stands and starts pacing. Every few steps, she looks down at the flyer. She starts to cry but holds her hand up when Katelyn and I both move toward her. “I’m okay.”

I’m glad someone is because I’m not.

“Liam had a guitar in his room, and on the rare occasion I was there, he’d play it for a minute or two. The day he left for Texas, we were sitting in his truck, listening to one of the mixed tapes he made, and a song came on. It was something I hadn’t heard before, and I really liked it. I asked who it was by, and he said it was his, that he wrote it and was the one singing. I sat there,” she says, shaking her head. “Trying to process the words, Liam, and everything going on around us. I never told him that I liked the song or that I thought his voice was beautiful. I told him he was going to move mountains in Texas, and he said, ‘there’s more to life than football, JoJo.’” She looks down at the flyer and wipes tears from her cheeks. “I guess that was his way of telling me he wasn’t happy.” Josie lets out a sob. Katelyn rushes to her and holds Josie in her arms.

“I should’ve listened,” she cries. “I should’ve been prouder and told him how he could do anything he put his mind to. If I had, we’d be together right now.” Her hand rests on her growing belly. “He’d know about his child.”

It takes everything in me to keep my tears at bay. I know I can replay every conversation I’ve ever had with Liam, over and over, and I’ll never find the clues I missed because I wasn’t looking. I thought he had the life he wanted. I thought he was happy with football. I should’ve gone to Texas with him. No, something tells me we’d be in the same position we are in now. What I should’ve done is ask Liam if he wants to play football and whether or not he’s okay. Clearly, I was too self-absorbed to notice that my best friend struggled with his choices.

“He never told me.”

“He didn’t tell any of us,” Katelyn says. “I would’ve listened.”

Josie shakes her head. “He tried, and I brushed him off.”

“You can’t blame yourself, sweetie.” Katelyn pulls Josie into another hug. “Liam will be back,” she says this so confidently that I believe her. “He’ll come back, and you’ll be a family.”

Liam needs to know he’s going to be a dad.

Josie sets the flyer down, and I go pick it up. I read over the words again, and a plan forms in my head. “I’ll be back later.” I walk out of the room without giving either of them a chance to ask me where I’m going.

I make my way to the campus radio station and see the kid who handed me the advertisement sitting behind a large glass window. I knock on it, and he comes out. “What’s up?”

“This,” I say, holding the flyer up. “Where did this come from?”

“Oh, huh, that dude’s manager sent it out to all the colleges. That’s how a lot of new artists get radio play before they hit it big.”

“Do you have the manager’s name?”

“Yeah, sure.”

He goes back into the room with the glass wall and then comes back with another sheet of paper. “This is the front page of the fax we got.” He hands it to me. Moreno Entertainment, Los Angeles. The more I think about this, the more I’m convinced this singer is using Liam’s image. There’s no way Liam would go to Los Angeles by himself. Something is wrong here.

“Thanks.”

I’m lost in thought as I stand outside, looking from the flyer to the name on the other piece of paper. It would make sense for me to go to Sterling, but what if this is Liam, and Liam is hiding from his father? “Nope, this isn’t hiding.” I clench the paper in my hand.

Instead of going back to the dorms, I head to my truck, thankful my keys are in my pocket. I think of the only place I can go, which is home to speak to my parents. They need to talk me out of going to Los Angeles because that is the only thing on my mind—going there and bringing Liam home where he belongs.

Thirty-One

My parents stare at the ground after I break the news to them. They ask the same question I’ve asked myself a half dozen times, “Are you sure it’s Liam?” As much as I want to tell myself it isn’t, deep in my heart, I know it’s him. This makes sense, cutting everyone off. Had he said he was going to drop out of school to pursue music in L.A., we would’ve laughed and said something sarcastic like, “Okay, buddy.” But had I known music was a passion and something he wanted to explore, I would’ve supported him. We all would’ve, and we hate knowing that we let him believe we wouldn’t.

“This is heavy,” dad says, breaking the silence. “And Sterling wouldn’t tell you any of this?”

I shake my head. “No. Honestly, I can’t imagine he knows. He would’ve never approved of Liam giving up football for music.”

“That is true,” dad says.

Mom sighs, and my focus turns to her. “If Sterling knows, I’m sure he has kept Josie’s pregnancy to himself as well.”

“Yes, I’m sure you’re right there, as well.” Dad reaches for mom’s hand and squeezes it.

I clear my throat. “Liam needs to know he’s going to be a dad,” I start by saying. “I want to go find him.”

“Oh, Mason, Los Angeles is rather big. I’m sure finding Liam would be like finding a needle in a haystack,” mom says.

“I want to go to this management place. They’ll know where he is and can tell me, or they can call him, and he can come to meet me.”

My parents look at each other. I can see turmoil in my mom’s eyes and determination in my dad’s. They’re having a silent conversation. He agrees with me, but she doesn’t. She shakes her head slightly and then picks the flyer up.

“What do you need from us?” Dad asks.

“I need to borrow your car. My truck won’t make it.”

“You should fly. It’s at least a three-day drive, and I don’t want you doing it by yourself,” Dad says.

“Gas is cheaper.”

He nods. “It is, but flying is faster.” He reaches into his back pocket and pulls his wallet out. He flips it open and slides a credit card out, and hands it to me. “Use this.” He gives me his Visa. “It’s easier to go to the airport to book your flight. When you get to the airport in Los Angeles, rent a car. I hear taxis only take cash out there.”

“Dad, I don’t want—”

He holds his hand up. “It’s not about our needs or wants, Mason. It’s about the baby Josie is carrying. Liam needs to know, and if he decides he wants nothing to do with his child, then Josie will know, and she can move on. You know where he is, so find him. Just proceed with caution. Something changed in Liam over the summer, and he may not want to see you. Do your best and remember who you’re there for.”

I head up to my room and pack some of the clothes I keep at the house. From my room, I call the girls’ dorm floor and get a hold of Josie. I tell her I’m going to be gone for a couple of days, and not worry, and ask that she tell Katelyn that I love her. When I come downstairs, mom hands me a bag of food. “Airplane food isn’t that good.” I kiss her cheek and thank her.

My dad drives me to the airport. Anxiety fills me, making me wonder if I’m doing the right thing. Deep down, I know I am. Liam’s number changed, and he doesn’t want to be found, I get that, but I would never be able to live with myself if I didn’t take this chance.

The airport is in Allenville. It’s small but has flights daily. Dad walks me to the ticket agent, and I tell her where I need to go and when she asks me when I’d like to come back, I freeze. How long do I stay? I look at my dad for guidance.

“Three days,” he tells her, and she types on her computer. Three days seems like it will be too much time, but it also feels like not enough. What if Liam is happy to see me and wants to show me around? What if he wants me to see how his life is different and we can still be friends? What if he has a place for him and Josie and is just waiting until the summer to come home and get her because he doesn’t want to interrupt her schooling?

The ticket agent hands me everything I need and tells me which gate my flight will leave from. We find a place to sit down, and Dad waits until it’s closer to my flight time before he leaves. “What if I’m making a mistake by going?”

“What if you aren’t?”

I shake my head. “I just don’t understand what’s going on with him right now.”

“Liam is going through a mid-life crisis.”

I scoff. “He’s nineteen.”

“Yes, that’s true, but all his life, it’s been football and living up to his father’s expectations. Now that he has some freedom, he’s spreading his wings.”

Two hours later, it’s time for my flight. Dad tells me he’ll be here when I return and promises not to tell Katelyn where I am. The last thing I want is for her to tell Josie and get her hopes up. If I fail, it’s going to be my failure and no one else’s. The last thing I want to hear is that I could’ve tried harder.

The Los Angeles International airport is like its own city. There are so many people moving about, along with extended golf carts to carry luggage and travelers to their gates, and every fast food and restaurant you can think of has a place in the concourse. I look around in amazement before following the signs to the car rental agencies. I read the magazine I found in the seatback pocket during my flight and learned that you have to be at least twenty-five to rent a car, but that Hertz often rented to people under twenty-five. If I can’t get a car, I will have to find an ATM that will allow me to withdraw money from my bank back in Beaumont, but I’m not sure that’ll happen either. The more I think about things, the more I wish I didn’t leave in such a haste—that I planned this trip better. The thing is, I feel like I’m out of time, or the window of opportunity will close before I can act.

I’m bumped as people rush by me. They’re in a hurry, and I’m lost. Not directionally, but in thought and wonder. I keep telling myself I will walk into this Moreno place, and Liam will be there. We’re going to hug, and I’m going to say to him that he needs to come back to Beaumont because he has a life waiting for him, that he’s going to be a dad, and he’s going to follow me out. We’ll get in my rental car and head back home. I think as long as I play this scenario out in my mind, everything will be fine.

It takes me over an hour to get a rental car. First, they have to call my dad to get approval to use his credit card, and then they need my driving record from the Department of Motor Vehicles. Finally, my parent’s insurance company had to agree to cover any accidents I may or may not have while in Los Angeles. I get that there’s a process, but damn this was extensive.

I’m on the road, driving in a white Ford Escort. It’s small and compact, which seems to work well with the traffic here. The rental car clerk was kind enough to write down some directions on where I needed to head. They’re not exact but will get me in the general area. Within minutes of driving on the freeway, I already miss Beaumont. Life moves at its own pace there, no one is ever in a hurry, and the only time someone honks at you is if you’re sitting at a green light. Here, everyone is in a rush, weaving in and out of traffic, slamming on their brakes, and yelling at you as they hang out their window, flipping you off. I get that I’m driving slowly, but I’m in the right lane and not from here. I need to watch the signs.

After I exit the highway and find the street Moreno Entertainment is on, I pull into the parking lot of a convenience store to ask for better directions. The man behind the counter tells me I have about twelve or thirteen blocks to go, and then I’ll be in the correct neighborhood. This sounds super easy. At least that’s what I think until I get back in the car, and it takes me another hour to drive the twelve blocks. I decide to park at a shopping strip and walk until I find the building I’m looking for. When I get to the address and see the sign, I feel relieved.

“May I help you?” the woman at the half-circle desk asks. Behind her the wall is covered with the images of different actors, actresses, and musician’s. Holy shit, I’m in Hollywood.

“Hi, yes. I’m looking for Liam Westbury.”

“I’m sorry, but we don’t have anyone here by that name.”

“Oh, right. Um, Liam Page.”

She smiles. “May I ask who’s inquiring?”

I hold my hand out for her to shake, but she doesn’t put forth an effort. I feel awkward as I pull my hand back. “I’m Mason Powell. Liam and I are best friends from his hometown.”

She apprises me for a second. “Mr. Page isn’t in the building, but I can give his manager a message.”

“What’s his name? May I speak with him?”

“Her name is Sam Moreno, and she’s not here right now, but I can leave her a message as well.”

Great, no one is here.

“Do you know when Ms. Moreno will be back?”

The woman looks at a large calendar on the top of her desk and then looks at me, “She should be back in about an hour or so.”

“What about Liam?”

“That I don’t know. I’m sorry.”

I nod. “May I wait for Ms. Moreno?

She points to a waiting room. I go over there and sit down. After a few minutes, I start to flip through a stack of magazines while I wait. And wait. And wait.

After what seems like hours, the receptionist comes over to me. “I’m sorry, but Ms. Moreno isn’t returning today. You can try again tomorrow.”

Great, can I?

She follows me out and locks the door behind me. I hadn’t thought about where I would stay while I’m here, even though my dad booked my return flight for three days, we never talked about renting a hotel. I head back to my car and go back to the store where the clerk was friendly to me and ask him where I can find a cheap but nice hotel. He tells me there’s one just down the street, not far from the boardwalk, where I’m sure to run into an actor or two. The only person I want to run into is Liam.

After I secure a room for two nights, I ask the desk clerk, who seems to be around my age, where I would go to see up-and-coming musicians and explain that my friend is here and trying to become something. She tells me there’s a bar called Metro and that many of the artists on MTV got their start there. With another set of directions, I plan to go there later, after I nap, because I’m exhausted.

I shower and lay down, only to have sleep elude me. Liam’s here, somewhere in this city, and he has no idea that I’m here or what he’s missing back home. I think about calling Katelyn, but again, I don’t want her to get her hopes up, and I know I should call my parents. However, the sticker on the phone says it’s three dollars a minute for a long-distance call, and I don’t want to put anything unnecessary on my dad’s credit card.

It’s dark when I head out. The hotel clerk said the place isn’t far, and I decide to walk after I grab a bite to eat. I pick some fast-food place I’ve never heard of and sit in the corner so I can watch people come in, hoping that by chance Liam visits this place. When I’m done, I make my way to Metro, pay the cover fee, and head inside. Thankfully, the bouncer doesn’t ask for my ID. The club is packed, and the music is loud. People jump up and down to the music, while some dance together, and an all-girl band, except for the drummer, plays on stage. Their music is good, but not really my thing.

I wander around, moving in between people until I reach a corner where I feel like I can see most of the people. Unfortunately, everyone looks the same when they’re dancing, and the lights are shining in different colors. Frustrated, I head to the bar.

“Hey, have you seen this guy?” I show the bartender Liam’s senior photo. When he gave it to me, I was supposed to give it to my mom and put it in my wallet so I wouldn’t forget. I’m thankful that I did.

“Liam? Yeah, you just missed his set.”

“Wait, what?”

“He already played,” he says while he pours a drink for a customer.

“Do you know when he plays again?”

He shakes his head. “Nah, man. Schedule changes nightly. His buddy is the drummer on stage. You can ask him.”

“Thanks.”

I stare back at the stage and watch the guy use sticks to bang on drums. Whoever this guy is, he enjoys his job. He wears a beanie and has tattoos on his arms—something I’d never do. I’ve never been a fan of doing something permanent to your body.

This is Liam’s buddy. This is who Liam hangs out with now. The exact opposite of me.

I’ve been replaced.

Thirty-Two

I’ve never felt heartache the way I do now. I can’t get the image of the guy on stage—the one playing the drums—out of my mind. The words from the bartender play over in my mind, “His buddy.” They hurt even though they shouldn’t. We’re allowed to have other friends. Hell, I’ve been Nick’s friend for a long time, but this situation is different. I didn’t abandon my life and become someone else. I am, who I am, and I didn’t tell my best friend to fuck off and go to hell. I didn’t break up with my girlfriend and change my phone number. I didn’t harbor a secret so big that no one who knows me didn’t see it coming.

Liam did.

Throughout the night, I hear sirens, screaming, and what sounds like a gunshot. I bury my face under my pillow and wish like hell the kid on campus never handed me that flyer. Ignorance is bliss, and right now, I’d like to be really oblivious to this new life Liam has. I want to be back in Beaumont, tucked under the blankets with my girl pressed against me. That’s where I’m the happiest.

It’s sometime in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep that I plan out how I’m going to ask Katelyn to marry me. I’d do it now if she didn’t suspect I was only doing it because of Josie's situation. Her mind doesn’t make any sense to me, but it’s how she sees things right now. I’ll give Katelyn one more year, and then I’m asking her. I don’t want to wait to start our lives together. I have already researched off-campus housing and know the room and board portion of my scholarship will pay for housing. The apartments aren’t great, but livable. Katelyn and I can make it a home and be happy. We won’t have to worry about a resident advisor surprising us with a bed check to ensure there aren’t any men in the room. That’s one thing I hate about college is that the rooms aren’t co-ed. Things would be simpler if they were. Although, it’s unlikely that Katelyn would share a room with me because of Josie, which means getting Katelyn to move out of the dorms will be difficult. I suppose I can get a two-bedroom place. This way, Josie has a place for her and the baby, and she can stay in school. I’m sure between the three of us, we will make our schedules work so one of us is always free to take care of the baby. Josie is going to need a village to help her through this, unless Liam comes home.

When the sun rises, I shower, dress, and head to the donut shop on the corner. I figure this is cheaper than sitting down at a restaurant for breakfast. With a half dozen donuts and two cups of coffee, I get into my rental and head toward Moreno Entertainment. The same receptionist is at the desk when I walk in. I set one of the coffee cups down on her counter and smile.

“Any chance Ms. Moreno or Liam is here?”

“Ms. Moreno will be in shortly,” she says.

I hand the cup to her. “This is for you.”

“Thank you, but I’ll pass.”

I can’t tell if she’s being rude or not. I go back to where I sat yesterday and flip through the same magazines, but this time I read each article while I munch on my donuts. I don’t know how much time passes, but at some point, I take a catnap. I startle awake when I think I hear Liam’s voice. I stand and head toward the hall.

“I’m sorry, but you can’t go back there.”

“Liam’s here,” I say to her as I point down the hall. “I heard him.”

She looks at me oddly. “I assure you Mr. Page is not here. Please have a seat or come back later.”

“How much later?” I ask as I place my hands on the counter. I get the feeling she’s stalling, and I don’t understand why.

She doesn’t say anything as she picks up the ringing phone. After she sets the receiver down, she says, “Ms. Moreno will be right out.”

I start to pace back and forth in front of the hall. There isn’t a doubt in my mind that Liam is down there unless I’m so tired my mind is playing tricks on me. During mid-pace, I pull up short when a woman stands in front of me. She’s blonde, dressed in a black skirt and jacket, with black heels that make her legs look a mile long. Her lips are bright red, and she wears a ton of make-up.

“I’m Samantha Moreno. I understand you have business with Liam Page?”

“Hi, yes. I’m Mason Powell. We . . . his girlfriend and I have been trying to get a hold of him. I need to speak with him.”

“Liam’s unavailable.”

“Look, I get it. You’re his manager or whatever, and it’s your job to protect him, but I’m his best friend—”

“A best friend who doesn’t know how to get a hold of his friend?”

“I just need to talk to him for five minutes, and then he can go back to doing whatever it is he’s doing here.”

She shakes her head and steps closer. Sam Moreno exudes power. I can feel it vibrating off her in droves. No one messes with her. “You need to go back to that little town you call home and forget you were ever here. Liam Page is more than you’ll ever be, and he doesn’t need the likes of you bringing him down.”

“His girl—” My words fall short when a man steps in front of Sam. He’s much bigger than I am, and I have a feeling he’s there to enforce whatever the people of Moreno Entertainment want.

“You heard Ms. Moreno. It’s time for you to leave.”

I nod and head toward the door. I glance over my shoulder one last time, waiting for Liam to appear, but he doesn’t.

Later that night, I head back to Metro. I’m there when the doors open, long before anyone takes the stage. I stand by the door where the acts go in and out, but I never see Liam or his new friend. Everything around me closes in, and I feel like I’ve lost. I’ve lost my best friend in more ways than one, and I don’t know what to do about it.

I linger outside when the club closes, thinking that maybe Liam was there, but I missed him. I stand there, in the alley, until the last bag of garbage is thrown out and the sun starts to rise. I want to pound on the brick wall, bust my knuckles in frustration, anger, and sadness. How can Liam be like this? How can he just walk away from his friends? Sadly, I’ll never know the answer.

Instead of going back to the hotel, I walk along the boardwalk. I’m surprised to see people out. They’re skateboarding, roller skating, and dancing to music from portable radios. There are couples on the beach and even an early morning basketball game going on. Life here is so much different from life in Beaumont.

I wander through the people, listening to what they’re saying and hoping to pick up something that might be useful. My mom was right; Liam’s a needle, and this city is a giant haystack. He’s here, but not where I need him to be, and I don’t know what else to do to try and find him.

I get back to the hotel and pack my bags. My flight is this afternoon, and I have to return the rental car. I head toward Moreno Entertainment and sit outside, hoping Liam or his buddy will show up. I stay as long as I can, and when I leave, I turn toward the building and shed a tear. Everyone in there knows where to find Liam, but no one is willing to tell me, and if by chance they told Liam I’m here, he chose not to show up. I refuse to believe the latter because if so, then the guy I saw on the flyer is this new Liam. The one who walked away from the woman he said he was going to marry, who couldn’t return a phone call, whose last words to me were fuck off and go to hell, who changed his number, who walked away from everyone and everything to become a rock star. And that’s a Liam I don’t want to know.

The flight back to Allenville is turbulent. My mind races with a million things I could’ve done while I was in Los Angeles to find Liam, and yet I looked in two places. I should’ve left a note with the bartender. He seemed like someone who could’ve helped me, but I didn’t, and now I’m on my way back to face my girlfriend and her best friend with nothing to prove for my efforts. This is precisely why I didn’t tell them my plan. Their hopes would be shattered, just as mine are.

After the plane lands, I walk slowly to the front, thinking about what I’m going to say to Katelyn. This is by far the stupidest thing I have ever done, and it could very well cost me my relationship. Wouldn’t that be a kick in the nuts? I lost my best friend, and because I thought I could find him and get him to come back, I lose my girlfriend too. I can’t let that happen.

My dad greets me with a hug, and I break down in his arms. He holds me and tells me everything is going to be okay. He’s so confident about life. I wish I were. He holds me there, in public, while I cry for what Josie and her unborn baby, have lost. I cry for Liam and everything he’s missing out on. And I cry for myself. I miss Liam and hoped more than anything I could’ve seen him again. Someday, he’ll come home, and we’ll forgive each other.

I’m surprised to find my mom in the parking lot. She and my dad brought my truck, which saves me time. Now I don’t have to go back to their house before heading to campus. We hug, and I shed more tears. She tells me how proud she is that I’m her son and then says I need to get my ass back to campus and fix things with Katelyn. Dad hands me my keys, and I promise to be home on Sunday for dinner.

By the time I make it back to campus, it’s late, and I’m tired, but there is only one stop I can make. I knock on the girls’ door quietly, and when it swings open, Katelyn is standing there. Her eyes remind me of Josie’s, red-rimmed and bloodshot.

“I’m sorry for disappearing the last couple of days.”

“You’re sorry?” she asks rather loudly.

“Can we do this someplace else?”

Josie stands and comes to the door. “The doctor said I need to walk, so I’m going to go do that.” She leans into me and whispers, “Fix this, or I’ll end you.”

“I will,” I say back to her.

Once Josie is moving down the hall, Katelyn steps away from the door. I go in and shut it quietly behind me. As much as I want to pull her into my arms, I sit on the edge of her bed and give her a minute to adjust to me being in the room.

“Katelyn,” I say her name softly. “I don’t expect you to forgive me being gone and not telling you, but I had to take care of some business—”

“Did you cheat on me?”

I blanch at her question. “I would never.” I stand and go to her. She’s looking at the ground and doesn’t budge when I try to lift her head. I get down on my knees and place my hands on her hips. Before I can even speak, tears fall down my face. “I love you more than life itself. You are my life, Katelyn Cohen. You’re my present, my past, and my future. I would never disrespect you by cheating on you.”

“Then where have you been, Mase? Who the hell disappears in the middle of the—” She stops mid-sentence and narrows her eyes. “Did you?”

I shake my head. Deep down, I know it would be easier to tell her where I was, but she won’t be able to keep it from Josie, and I can’t bear this burden.

“Please don’t ask where I’ve been. Just know I wasn’t doing anything illegal or untold. I promise you, baby. I would never do anything to hurt you. Not in any way humanly possible.”

Katelyn studies me. She looks into my eyes, looking for the lie. She knows me well enough to know when I’m not telling the truth, which isn’t often. I’m not sure she can count on one hand how many fibs I’ve told her. Katelyn’s never given me a reason to lie to her.

“I’m so sorry,” I tell her again. “I can promise you I’ll never ever leave you again. Ever. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

She nods, and I stand, pulling her into my arms. I want to make love to her, to show her how much I missed her, but she pushes me away. “I’m not ready, Mason. I spent the past few days convincing myself that you were out cheating on me, and I need some time to let this sink in. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t ever have to be sorry for feeling a certain way. I’ll do whatever you ask of me to earn your trust back. I hope you know this.”

“I do.”

“I love you, Katelyn. You’re the only woman I’m ever going to love.”

“I love you, Mason.”

Thirty-Three

The dads, Josie’s and mine, help me carry in the last of the furniture we could buy. Most of what we have has come from second-hand stores and yard sales, but it’s all in good condition. I don’t think anyone died on our couch or anything like that. I moved the bed from my bedroom at home to our new apartment, and Josie brought hers as well. This whole apartment thing worked out better than I hoped. I was able to get a two-bedroom place, which allows Josie to stay in school after the baby is born, it’s right on the edge of campus, and my scholarship pays for most of it. Katelyn and I will get jobs to cover the rent over the summer. With the baby coming any day, there is no way Josie can work, although she has lined up a part-time job at a florist near campus.

I’ll be happy once the baby is here because taking care of Josie has been stressful. When her second trimester hit, and she really started showing, she became more and more despondent when people asked her who the father of her baby was. Of course, the one guy who witnessed the break-up had no qualms about telling everyone what went down. I wanted to punch the dude in his mouth to shut him up, but Katelyn forbade me. At times, Katelyn and I had to force-feed her. We had to sit there, like she was a child, to make sure she ate. I don’t know how many times Katelyn came back from one of Josie’s appointments and told me that she’s not gaining enough weight and that the baby will be small. The last thing any of us want is for the baby to have health issues, so we do what’s necessary. Over the past few months, I wondered if it would be better for Josie to move home, but I think it’s unfair that her life is changing the way it is while Liam is out there becoming a global sensation. Josie has suffered enough.

While Mrs. Preston empties what little boxes we have, my mom is on a cleaning mission. She started yesterday with what she calls a deep clean. Honestly, the place smells like lemons, and I know better than to complain. When my mom first saw the apartment, she cringed and called the school, asking why maintenance hadn’t cleaned it when the last tenant moved out. Whoever she spoke to didn’t really have an answer for her, so she took it upon herself. The once dingy walls are now somewhat white, which is more than I could’ve ever done. I don’t like cleaning.

“Where is the couch going?” I ask the group of women who are milling around in the kitchen. The apartment is small, with just one bathroom. There’s a kitchen with just the basics. It has a bar and we managed to find four stools to fit under it. There’s a small space which isn’t big enough for a dining room table, so we’re putting two desks there and a highchair, and then there’s the living room. It’s an okay size space that will fit a couch, chair, and cabinet. But the absolute best thing about this place is that it’s ours. Mine and Katelyn’s first home, and we’re more than happy to share it with Josie and the baby.

“Up against this wall.” Katelyn points to the wall that separates our living space from the bedrooms. “This way, the television is far enough away from the rooms that the noise shouldn’t bother the baby.”

“Yes, but what about when Mason yells at the TV?” My mom asks, causing everyone in the room to laugh.

“Maybe Mason will learn not to yell?” Katelyn asks as she looks from me to my mom.

“Unlikely, babe. Unless officials can pull their heads out of their asses and make the right calls.”

“Valid point,” Josie says. “Let’s put the couch there.” She points to the opposite wall. “I bought one of those divider screens to put near the crib. I can also get a white noise machine or something.”

“Or the baby will learn to adapt to the noise,” Mrs. Preston says. She puts her arm around Josie. “If you tiptoe, the baby will never adjust. You need to live a normal life.”

“This wall it is.” My dad, Mr. Preston, and I put the couch against the wall and make sure it’s centered. Josie adds a couple of throw pillows, and Katelyn lays a blanket on the backside. We stand there and look at our first piece of furniture. “I like it.”

“Me too,” Katelyn says. She links her arm through mine. I want to give Katelyn so much more, a better home, with nicer furniture and anything she desires. I worry about how I’m going to do that. When I started school in the fall, I thought I’d go into sports medicine or something to do with sports, but by my second semester, I decided I want to be a teacher. I want to give back to the community and maybe coach football someday. Katelyn is getting her accounting degree with the hopes of becoming a CPA someday, but with her parents barely helping pay her tuition and probably stopping to pay it at all now that she’s moved in with me, she’s looking at a lot of debt. Well, we are. She’s not in this alone. I’ll work two jobs if I have to, to make sure her dreams come true.

All the women disappear into Josie’s bedroom to put the crib together and decorate the baby’s corner of the room. Josie found the cutest teddy bear themed bedding at the local supercenter. As soon as we found out she put it all on layaway, the rest of us pitched in to pay it off for her. Not too many of our friends from high school know she’s pregnant, and she asked Katelyn not to give her a baby shower. It makes my mom and Mrs. Preston sad that Josie isn’t experiencing what they call the “fun stuff” but they’re making sure she has everything.

My dad and Mr. Preston crack open a beer, take a drink, and then start laughing. I shake my head at them and mumble, “Whatever.”

“What?” My dad has the gall to ask. “You’re a minor.”

“Yep.” I pick up a box to take it to my bedroom when my dad taps me on my shoulder. He holds out a beer for me. “Thanks.”

“Just don’t drink around the baby,” Mr. Preston says. “I’ve heard horror stories of young parents not paying attention to the littles, and they end up drunk.”

“I can assure you I’m going to treat this baby like they’re my own. No harm will come to this baby whatsoever. And if someone even thinks about being careless around them, they’ll have me to answer to. I take my uncle duties very, very seriously.”

Mr. Preston puts his hand on my shoulder and squeezes it. “Thank you for taking care of my daughter and my grandbaby. I owe you.”

No, you don’t. Liam does.

“It’s my pleasure.”

Katelyn wakes me in the middle of the night. “What’s wrong?” I spring upright and hop out of bed. I’m already dressed in sweats and a t-shirt. I just need to put on my shoes. Josie’s contractions started the day before, and Katelyn and I have been working in shifts, helping her through them. I wanted to go to the hospital yesterday, but after Josie called them, they told her not to come in until the contractions were five minutes apart or her water had broken. So, we walked a ton and monitored. I massaged her back and let her lean on me when a strong one shot through her. We hoped the baby would come yesterday

“It’s time, Mason. Her water broke. We have to take her to the hospital now.”

“Did you call the grandparents?” The grandparents being the Preston’s and Powell’s.

“Yes, they’re meeting us there.”

“Okay, let’s do this.” I follow Katelyn down the hall. She’s carrying Josie’s hospital bag and the car seat. Josie waits for us in the kitchen, standing there like she’s about to pee her pants. “You good?”

She laughs. “Stomach is cramping pretty good, but I can do this.”

“Right on. That’s what I want to hear.” Katelyn and I are Josie’s Lamaze partners. When she asked if I would do it, I didn’t even hesitate. This is important to her, and it means that she trusts me with her life and the life she’s growing inside of her. Despite our first class, everything went pretty well. When we first walked in, the teacher assumed Katelyn and I were adopting Josie’s baby. It was awkward, but I explained that we’re Josie’s support team and left it at that. Weeks later, I found an adoption brochure on the counter and asked Josie about it. She confided in me that giving up the baby is something she thought about but decided against doing so. She said she would rather struggle through life than not have a piece of Liam forever.

I hold onto Josie while we walk to her car. Her parents bought her a mid-size sedan, something that she’ll be able to use for a long time, and most importantly, it’s safe for the baby. After getting Josie settled, Katelyn climbs into the back, and I get behind the wheel.

“We should’ve stayed in town last night,” I tell them as I pull onto the road.

“It’s early. There won’t be any traffic,” Katelyn says. We talked about staying at the Preston’s or my parents', but Josie said she felt uncomfortable and wanted to be in our apartment. There is definitely a risk with us being thirty minutes from the hospital, but if it makes our little mama happy, who am I to try and change her mind.

When we pull into the emergency entrance, the grandparents are all standing outside. Mr. Preston and my dad rush to the car door, open it and guide Josie into a wheelchair. Katelyn goes with them while I go to park the car. Thankfully, there’s a spot near the door, and I don’t have to go too far.

Inside, I have to sign in because it’s after hours, and then I’m on my way to labor and delivery. Once I’m buzzed in, I take a seat with the dads and my mom and let the wait begin. When a nurse in pink scrubs comes into the room, I stand immediately when she says my name. “What’s wrong?”

She smiles. “Nothing at all. Josie is asking for you.”

“Oh, okay.”

Mr. Preston stands in front of me and pulls me into a hug. “You were there for her when . . .” he pauses. “Just know how grateful I am to you, Mason. Please take care of my babies.”

“I will.” I hug him and then excuse myself to follow the nurse. She dresses me in this yellow papery gown and tells me to put a cap over my hair. “What’s this for?”

“For delivery.”

“Oh, I’m not the father, just the uncle.”

She smiles again. “Josie has requested you be in the room with her when she delivers.”

My throat tightens. We hadn’t discussed this at all other than Katelyn and her mom being in there. I know I went to Lamaze class, but that was to help through the beginning, not the birth. The nurse shows me into the room. Katelyn is by Josie’s side, helping her breathe, while Mrs. Preston stands at the foot of the bed.

“Hey, Mase,” she says as if she’s out of breath.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Ah, nothing. Just trying to push a watermelon out of my—”

“Don’t you dare say it,” I say with laughter. “Are you sure you want me in here?”

She nods and moans through a contraction. I grab her hand and tell her to squeeze it as hard as she needs to. She cries out and grips my gown. “Hey, come on now. Inhale and exhale. Breathe through the pain.”

“I’m trying.”

“I know you are.”

When the contraction subsides, she leans back in the bed. Katelyn gives her ice chips and wipes her forehead. Josie looks at me and says, “You deserve to be in here unless you don’t want to be.”

“Nowhere else I’d rather be.”

“Another one is coming, sweetie,” Katelyn warns. We help Josie into a sitting position and guide her through another contraction. They’re quicker now, and she’s definitely in pain.

“Can’t you give her something?” I ask the nurse.

“She declined any form of pain relief,” she says. “She wants to do this naturally.”

Fuck that. I’m an athlete, and I can’t stand pain.

“I can do this,” Josie says.

“I know you can,” I tell her. “You’re one of the strongest women I know. And I’m here to be your punching bag. I just can’t tolerate biting.” Josie laughs, but it’s short-lived as another contraction rips through her.

“All right, it’s time,” the nurse says, and then she disappears.

“Where in the hell did she go?” I ask.

“To get a birthing team and the doctor,” Mrs. Preston says. One would think with how much doctors are paid, they’d be in the room the entire time. I watch the door, counting down the seconds it takes the team to return. When they come in, they’re dressed in gowns and pushing a cradle. The doctor pulls up a stool on wheels and settles himself between Josie’s legs. He’s lucky he’s here to help her birth her child, or I’d have an issue with where he’s at right now.

“All right, Josie. On your next contraction, you’re going to give me a big push, and we’re going to help this baby come into the world. Are you ready?”

She nods, and then without any warning, the contraction sends her into a screaming fit. Worse than when Liam left.

“I got you,” I tell her. “I’m not going anywhere.” I’m almost on the bed to give her support. She clings to me, crying. Right now, I hate Liam. I hate him with every fiber of my being. He did this to her. He left her to deal with this on her own. There isn’t a doubt in my mind that he knows she’s having a baby, and he chose not to come back. If I ever see him again . . .

“I can’t do this. I can’t. Oh God, make it stop.”

“Hey, hey. None of that,” I say to her while the doctor and nurse continue to bark orders at her. “Look at me.” I lift her head away from my chest so she can see me. For a second, I’m taken back to that night, the one where he left, the pain and turmoil in her eyes is haunting. “Remember the prize at the end of all this? All this pain is going to be worth it. I promise you. Have I ever lied to you?”

Josie shakes her head.

“And I’m not now. You’re going to have a baby any minute now, and they’re going to love you the minute they lay their eyes on you. You have done this for nine months now. You just have to finish. One big push, okay. Just give me one more, and then that dude down there will put your baby in your arms, and it’ll all be over.”

“Okay.”

“Yeah, we can do this. Come on now.” I hold her up and encourage her to push with everything she has.

The sound of crying fills the room, and there’s a collective gasp. “It’s a boy,” the doctor says as he places the baby on Josie’s midsection.

“Oh my God,” Josie says through her tears. I kiss the top of her head and step back while she looks over her child.

I have a nephew.

Liam has a son.

After a few minutes of gushing, Josie asks me to get her dad. I go out to the waiting room and tell him which room she’s in, and once he’s out of earshot, I say to my parents that Josie’s birthed a boy. My mom hugs me, and I break down. I’m beyond having a broken heart for Liam. He should be here saying this stuff. Not me. After I gain my composure, I excuse myself and go back into the room. The doctor is gone, and the nurses are cleaning the baby.

“Congratulations.” I lean down and kiss her forehead.

“Thank you,” Josie says, looking at me. “For everything.”

“It’s what friends are for.”

She shakes her head. “No, Mason. You’re more than a friend. You’re my family. I wouldn’t have been able to do this without you and Katelyn. I love you both so much.”

“We love you too, sweetie.” Katelyn’s head is next to Josie’s, and she’s stroking her hair. “We’re not going anywhere, ever.”

The nurse brings the baby over to Josie and sets him in her arms. She unwraps him and counts his fingers and toes. “Look at those long fingers,” she says. “He’s going to make the best quarterback.”

Her statement catches me off guard. “He’s going to play football, huh?”

She nods. “With you as his uncle, how can he not?”

I swallow the frog in my throat. “True. He’s going to be the best Beaumont has ever seen.”

Josie only holds her son for a minute until she passes him around. My parents have joined us in the room, and we’re all anxiously awaiting his name.

“So, what did you decide?” her mom doesn’t even look at her daughter when she asks because she’s too busy staring at her grandson.

“Noah Michael Preston.”

“Noah, what a beautiful name for this perfect baby,” my mom coos.

When he finally gets to me, I hold him in my hand. He’s tiny and fits perfectly. His eyes stay closed, and he squeaks a lot. “Hey, buddy,” I say softly. “Man, I’m so happy to meet you. We’re going to be best friends and do everything together. I’m going to teach you everything I know about football, girls, and life.” Everyone laughs, but I’m not paying attention to them. Noah’s little arm rises, and I know he’s already looking for a high-five. I give him one. “High-five, my man.”

Josie tells us she wants some alone time with her son. I hate that my time is cut short, but I get it. They need to bond and all that. When I hand Noah to his mother, I lean down and whisper, “Thank you for keeping him. I’m going to be there every step of the way. You’re not doing this alone.”

“I know,” she says.

I kiss her forehead and leave the room, all while fighting back the tears.

After we clean ourselves up, Katelyn and the Preston’s head to the cafeteria while my parents head home. They’re going to do some shopping and make sure the apartment is fully stocked for Noah’s homecoming. I walk them to their car, and once they’re gone, I get into Josie’s car and head over to the Westbury’s. I’m beyond the point of caring about their feelings. They need to step up and do the right thing.

I pull into the driveway and don’t bother shutting off the car. I pound on the door until it opens. They both stand there, looking smug. I look directly into Bianca’s eyes and say, “You have a grandson as of a couple of hours ago. It’s time you call your damn son and tell him to get his ass home. And for the love of God, start acting like a decent human being.”

They stand there, saying nothing.

“I don’t know how you’re going to sleep at night knowing you have a grandchild. What kind of mother are you?”

The door slams shut.

Thirty-Four

I’m the world’s best uncle. I have a coffee mug and t-shirt that says as much. Plus, Noah loves me. Sometimes, I’m the only one who can soothe him, and I’m okay with that. I know he loves his mama, but there is no one like his uncle. Honestly, I’m glad I’m the only one because I’m not keen on sharing my little buddy.

Currently, he’s chilling in his car seat while we drive around town. It’s two in the morning, and this little guy is wide awake. The vibration of the engine seems to relax him and keep him from wailing in the middle of the night. The doctor has said he’ll grow out of this, but we’ve yet to see it. Of course, he’s only a few months old and still trying to assert his dominance over all of us. In our house, he’s the king. When he cries someone picks him up. He coos, and we coo right back. It’s ridiculous how this little guy can turn all of us into a puddle of goo. Katelyn tells me that by the time we have children—which I totally fist pump at—I will be immune to baby antics. There’s no way that will happen because when we have our own child, it will be a whole other ballgame. Noah just holds a special place in my heart.

Noah already loves sports. Right now, we spend our nights watching baseball. He hasn’t found his favorite player or team yet, but he’s partial to the Red Sox. I tell him that someday, they’ll win the World Series, and the curse of the Bambino will be over, but I’m not sure even I believe that. The Red Sox seem to have the worst luck in the postseason, especially when they’re matched up against the Yankees.

We’re waiting for football to start. That’s when the real fun will begin. I plan to watch a full Sunday of football with my bestie, and he’ll be in the stands on Saturdays rooting for me. His aunt Katelyn has already made him a couple of jerseys to show his uncle Mason some support. Noah’s a big hit in the weight room as well. There have been a couple of times when I’ve had to bring him in because Josie and Katelyn are working, and our times don’t match up for a baby handoff. Coach doesn’t care because Noah doesn’t make a peep, and the guys on the team love visiting with him. The cheer team flirts with him, but that’s mine and Noah’s secret.

When Liam’s song comes on the radio, I go to turn it down but decide to leave it. I’ve heard the song before, and it’s good, but this is as far as I’m willing to go to support this career of his. If he had been honest with Josie or me, things could be different, but they’re not. I glance at Noah and see that he’s still awake. I reach over and touch his hand. He maneuvers his little finger around mine. For a baby, his grip is firm. With Liam’s voice playing through the speakers and his son sitting next to me, my heart breaks for the missed opportunity for these Westbury men. Even his paternal grandparents want nothing to do with him.

“Do you hear this guy singing?” I ask Noah, knowing full well I’m not going to get a response. “His name is Liam, and I’m going to tell you a story about him, and then once I’m done, I’m never going to talk about him again unless you ask me. You hear me, buddy? When you ask me who your dad is, and I know you will someday, I’ll tell you this story again. Man, your dad was my best friend, and we did everything together until one day I messed up. You see, when we were young, we made a pact, but things didn’t work the way we thought they would. Your dad made a choice that would benefit me, and by the time I realized the magnitude of that choice, it was too late. He doesn’t know about you, or maybe he does and can’t get back to Beaumont to meet you. I don’t know.” I turn the corner and continue to drive. “The thing is, I want to believe that if Liam knew he had a son, he’d be here. But then, I think about how he left and hurt your mama, and I’m not so sure anymore. I will tell you this, as you grow up, you’re going to hear his name a lot. You’re going to see his name everywhere when you get to high school, and people are going to ask if you’re his son. I hope, by that time, you know the truth, and I pray that Liam knows the truth as well because he’s already missing out on your life, buddy. You’re not even my kid, and I love you more than anything. Well, except your aunt Katelyn. She’s pretty amazing, don’t you think?”

Noah makes a tiny noise and even though he didn’t understand what I said, I take it as a sign that he’s listening. I’ll work on him, though. I’ll teach him how remarkable his mother and aunt are and how he should cherish them.

“The kicker is none of us knew your dad could sing like this. Maybe if we did, things could be different. But then, if that was the case, I might not know you, and I don’t know how I feel about that. This conundrum is what we call having your cake and eating it too. It’s not really something I’ve understood, to be honest. But people say it, and I just roll with it. You’ll learn this when you’re older.”

The song ends, and the disc jockey comes on, saying that Liam Page is the “overnight sensation the world has been waiting for.” It’s hard to fathom that this Liam Page was once my best friend. It makes me question our relationship and what else he’s hidden from me. Was I really that bad of a friend all these years that he couldn’t confide in me that he had a penchant for music and playing the guitar? I must’ve been. This whole other side of Liam makes me feel like our friendship was nothing more than a lie.

After an hour of driving around, Noah and I head back to our apartment. He’s quiet when we enter the house and doesn’t make a peep when I get him out of his car seat. I don’t bother to put him back into his crib but lay him down in his playpen, which is set up in the living room. The last thing I want to do is wake up Josie when she needs as much sleep as the rest of us. I lay down on the couch and watch Noah through the mesh. He wiggles for a moment and then stills. It’s not long until he closes his eyes.

The Cohen house looms in front of me. I stand on the concrete path that leads to their door, giving myself a mental pep talk. I need courage. Not the liquid kind, but the type that helps my feet move. What I’m about to do, I need to do. I’ve put this off long enough.

I knock and step back, putting some space between the door and myself. It opens, and thankfully Mr. Cohen answers. I prefer him over his wife, but honestly, neither of them is very gracious to me.

“Mason,” he says my name curtly. “Is something wrong with our daughter?”

Not Katelyn, but our daughter. They act like she’s a possession to them.

“No, sir. I’d like to speak with you and Mrs. Cohen if you’re available for a few minutes.”

“I suppose,” he says as he steps aside so I can enter. Mrs. Cohen is standing there, with no expression on her face. I will never understand how these two people raised Katelyn. She is nothing like them, for which I’m thankful.

They make no motion for me to sit down or do anything except stand by the door. This is not how I saw my day playing out. I clear my throat and stand tall.

“I want to start by saying you’ve raised a remarkable woman when it comes to Katelyn. I thank God every day for her. She’s changed my life. With that said, I’m here to ask you for her hand in marriage.”

“Absolutely not,” her mother barks out.

“I know we’re young.”

“It has nothing to do with age,” she says. “You’re not the man we want her to end up with. She deserves a doctor or lawyer, not . . . whatever it is you’re going to be.”

Ouch.

“A teacher,” I tell them. “I want to give back to this community because it’s helped shape the man I am today.”

They say nothing.

I look at Mr. Cohen. “I can provide for your daughter, sir. We’re in love and have been since we were sixteen. I may not be your ideal person for her, but I am her person, and it would mean a great deal to Katelyn and to me, knowing that we have your blessing to get married. As I said, I know we’re young, and just because I’m asking you now doesn’t mean we’re going to run off and get married tomorrow. We still have three years of school to get through, but it’s important to me that Katelyn knows she’s my future, and I’d like to show her as much by putting a ring on her finger.”

“You are awfully young,” he says. “You haven’t even lived your lives yet.”

“I understand, but anything I do, I’ll do with Katelyn.”

“Is she pregnant?” her mother asks. “Is that why you’re here?”

“No, ma’am. I can assure you she is not.” If she were, I wouldn’t ask. I’d just marry her. “I’m trying to do right by you,” I tell them. “I want Katelyn to know that when I do ask her to marry me, it’s with her parents’ permission or blessing. Call me old-fashioned, but this is important to me, and I suspect it will be important to your daughter.”

“This is something I can’t support,” Mrs. Cohen says as she turns to leave the room. Mr. Cohen stands there, staring at me.

“Have you purchased her ring?”

I shake my head. “No, sir. I’m on my way to my parents now to pick it up. It belonged to my great-grandmother and then my grandmother on my mom’s side. I suppose if my grandma had a son, he would’ve used it for his wife, but being as my mom is an only child, it was passed down to me.”

He stares at me. The silence is unnerving. He frowns. He sighs. He does everything he can to make me feel uncomfortable. I think he’s waiting for me to give in. To tell him that I’ve changed my mind, but that isn’t going to happen. I want to marry Katelyn. I want to have babies with her and raise our family in Beaumont.

“I guess it’s not going to matter what I say because, in the end, you’ll do whatever. I don’t agree, not at nineteen, twenty, or even twenty-five. We had aspirations for Katelyn, career goals, but those have since derailed. You have my blessing, but I ask that you wait. Grow up, explore the world before you weigh each other down with marriage. The road ahead is going to be bumpy.”

I nod and choke back the anger bubbling inside of me. “Thank you, sir.”

“Don’t thank me,” he says. “Know this, Mason. If you and my daughter marry before you graduate, her college debt is now yours. We won’t support her.”

Duly noted, jackass.

I shake my head and leave. He’s trying to scare me, and while I should run in fear, I won’t. Maybe Katelyn deserves better than me. Lord knows if she dumped my ass, her parents would be elated. But I don’t deserve better than Katelyn. She’s the best thing to ever happen to me, and I plan to show her this the only way I know how.

Thirty-Five

Josie spreads rose petals all around the center logo of the football field, and every few feet, she’s lit candles, which give off a romantic ambiance. She tried to convince me to propose somewhere more romantic, but this is who I am, and I want my marriage proposal to Katelyn to be memorable. I guess I could’ve gone to the cliffs or a nice restaurant, but on the field is where I’m comfortable.

I stand there, watching Josie finish what she’s doing. The roses were her idea when I told her I was going to propose on the field. Of course, I had to get coach’s permission, but he was all for it. She told me that the florist where she works keeps fallen petals for moments like this and that they were free. It made sense for me to ask Josie to help, and I am thankful she came up with this plan. I never would’ve because I just don’t think this way. I clear my throat and smile when Josie turns around.

“Really?” she says as she takes me in.

I look down at myself and pull on the hem of my suit coat. “What?”

“You look like you’re waiting for a flood.”

Glancing down at my feet, I bend my ankles slightly and frown. “It’s all I have.”

“Why not wear a nice pair of slacks and a button-down or something? Katelyn is going to be so beside herself she’s not going to care what you’re wearing, Mason.” Josie comes over to me and sets the bag of petals down, and then straightens my bowtie. I stand there, with my chin raised so she can do her magic.

“Well, now she’ll remember how ridiculous I look.”

“No, she won’t. She’s going to remember walking into the stadium and seeing you standing on the fifty-yard line, surrounded by roses and candles. She’s going to remember every word you say to her and how you dropped down onto your knee to ask her to be your wife. She’s going to remember the exact moment you slipped your great-grandmother’s ring onto her finger and how you sealed all of this with a kiss. Katelyn’s going to remember the important parts.”

“What if she says no?”

Josie stands in front of me. We’re almost at eye level. She looks at me, her eyes searching for something. “You don’t give yourself enough credit, Mason. You are the most amazing man I have ever met. You stepped up when . . .” she pauses and glances away for a second before returning her gaze to mine. “Katelyn isn’t going to say no. She’s going to cry and hold you. She’s going to profess her love to you, and she’s going to squeal because she’s engaged. And then she’s going to bombard you with wedding plans because that’s what women do. We plan and execute.”

“Thank you.”

“For what? Being honest with you?”

I shake my head. “For being you, Josie. For being one of my best friends all these years. For being here and helping me make this special for Katelyn.”

Josie smiles softly. “We’re family. There isn’t anywhere I’d rather be right now other than here, making this the perfect moment for two people I love. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to scoot home and get your girl.” Josie kisses my cheek and leaves me to my now sudden surge of anxiety.

The “what if” game is strong in my head right now. Am I making a mistake by asking her now? Are we too young? Am I not the right person for her? Deep down, I know the answer to these questions, but I can’t get her parents’ voices out of my head. I think that maybe if they had been more susceptible to the idea, I’d feel better about what I’m going to do. I want to marry Katelyn tomorrow, the next day, next year, or in five years. I’d marry her tonight if that’s what she wanted. And I know I can wait when it comes to asking, but I don’t want to.

“What if she says no?” I say aloud to the empty stadium. I shake my head. She won’t, and if by chance she does, so be it. Maybe marriage isn’t right for her. I’m not going anywhere unless she kicks me to the curb. I look down at my watch and see that it’s time to get into position. Josie and I timed everything, and unless there’s a hiccup with Noah, Katelyn should be walking through the tunnel any second now.

I stand in the middle, surrounded by rose petals and lit candles, which lead to the sideline. My hands are clasped in front of me, and when I hear the distinct sound of footsteps, my heart starts to race. This is it, one of the most significant moments of my life.

Katelyn appears. She looks around, and then her eyes land on mine. “What are you doing?”

“Come here,” I say to her. She walks toward me, tiptoeing around the flower petals at first and then giving up and walking on them. I take her hands in mine. I’m desperate to kiss her but want to wait until the right moment. I inhale deeply and smile, but before I can even say anything, a tear falls down my cheek. I wipe at it and laugh. This is going to be harder than I thought.

“I planned a speech, but the words escape me, so I’m just going to wing it.” Another deep breath. “I was fifteen when you made your mark on my life. I was this naïve kid, and you knew exactly what you wanted. I didn’t have a clue how to act or speak to you, but your presence put me at ease. When we had our first kiss, everything in me changed. From there, we’ve grown up together, learned how to love each other in more ways than I can count. You’ve been my confidant, my go-to, my cheerleader, and you’ve shown me how to be a man.”

Tears fall from her eyes, and as soon as I let go of her hands, she wipes her cheeks. I drop down to my knee and produce the black box that’s been in my coat pocket. I open the lid. “I can’t promise you much, but I can promise to love you for the rest of my life. I can promise to be the best damn husband, father to our future children, and your best friend until the end. I love you, Katelyn, with everything that I am. Will you marry me?”

Her hand covers her mouth, and she nods. “Yes, Mason. I love you so much.” I rise and pull her into my arms, before picking her up and spinning her around, as she squeals in delight. After setting her down, I pull the ring from the box and slip it onto her finger.

“This ring belonged to my great-grandmother and then my grandma.” The single solitaire diamond sits on a thin gold band. “If you don’t like it, we can get something else.”

She shakes her head. “This is more than perfect. I love it Mason.” Katelyn holds her hand out and admires the ring. “I can’t believe you did all of this,” she says as she looks around.

“Uh, I had help. Josie said I needed to step up my game. I can’t take credit for anything.”

“Nice suit.” She pulls at my lapels, and I blush.

“I thought I should look presentable.”

Katelyn steps forward and brushes her lips against mine. “I liked the gray sweatpants I saw you in this morning.”

“Oh yeah?” What is it with women and gray sweatpants? I seriously don’t understand the obsession.

“Maybe we should . . .”

“. . . go home and celebrate our engagement?”

She steps back, and she frowns slightly. “I love Josie, but she’s kind of a buzzkill on our sex life.”

I pull Katelyn back to my chest with a thud. “Josie and Noah are gone for the night. So we have the apartment all to ourselves, and I don’t really care if the neighbors hear you. They’re always partying and banging on the walls, and it’s time we return the favor.”

This time it’s Katelyn who is blushing. I lean down and kiss her, teasing her with what’s to come once we get home. “Are you ready to go home?”

She nods. “Do we need to clean this up?”

I shake my head. “Nope, I have that covered as well.” Thanks to Josie, who volunteered to be my right-hand person for all of this. If it weren’t for her, I’m not sure how I’d be able to pull this off.

Katelyn and I walk hand-in-hand out of the stadium to the parking lot where my truck sits. I wish I had the sense to decorate it or put something flashy on there to announce our engagement, but I guess that can wait until we’re married. I help her into the truck and watch as she slides over to the middle. Seeing her still do this after all these years brings a smile to my face.

After I get in and head out of the lot, she rests her head on my shoulder and lifts her hand to look at her ring. “This is perfect.” I grab her hand and bring it to my lips. I know it’s not a huge diamond like her mom wears, but this one has sentimental value, and I think that means more than size. I’m also a guy still in college and can’t afford much. In hindsight, maybe I should’ve waited until I could put something bigger on her finger.

“I’ll get you something bigger after we graduate.”

“You will not, Mason Powell. This ring is perfect, and I’m never taking it off.” Hearing her say this brings another smile to my face. I’m the luckiest man in the world right now and can’t wait to get her home and show her just how much her saying yes means to me.

I help Katelyn slide out of the truck after I’ve parked. I unlock the door and push it open for her to go in and hear her gasp. My mouth drops open at what I see—rose petals everywhere, along with a tray of strawberries and a bottle of champagne.

“Oh, Mason. Everything is just so perfect.”

“Thanks, but—”

“No, don’t do that. You should take credit for how special you’ve made this for me. For us. I love you so much, Mase.”

“I love you too, Katelyn.” I hold her in my arms and marvel at what Josie has done. I feel guilty for taking credit for something I didn’t do.

Katelyn takes my hand and follows the trail of rose petals down the hall. There’s a temptation to stop and pick up the champagne and strawberries, but my lady has other ideas. She opens our bedroom door, and I’m relieved to see our bed is clear of any flowers. I’m not sure I want to be the one who has to pick all of those up.

My girl turns and stands in front of me. I’m going to marry the love of my life. My high school sweetheart. She’s the only person I’ve ever wanted or will ever want. The idea of growing old with Katelyn has me wanting to show her just how much I love her. I push my hands into her hair and descend on the sweetest lips ever. I’ll never get tired of kissing Katelyn. She’s my everything, and I’m about to show her just that.

Katelyn steps back until she’s put some space between us. She undresses, even though this is one of my favorite things to do. Nothing aggravates her more than when she’s getting ready in the morning, and I’m trying to take her clothes off. I can’t help it. I love her body. It’s perfect. I swallow hard at the sight before me, with her plump breasts and peaked nipples. She watches me as she slowly takes off every piece of clothing. It’s hard to believe we started on this journey when we were sixteen, looking at each other naked and with wanton need. I can’t imagine sharing it with anyone else. She slips out of her panties and tosses them into the growing pile of clothes. I take off my jacket, kick my shoes into the corner, and start to unbutton my shirt.

Katelyn lays down on the center of the bed and beckons me forward. I climb over her, kissing and nipping at her soft skin while my fingers tweak her nipple until I reach her center. Her legs spread, welcoming me. “Mason,” she whispers as she trails a hand down my arm leaving a trail of goosebumps in her wake.

The way she says my name is a plea for me to move quicker. If I am anything, I’m a pleaser when it comes to Katelyn. Whatever she wants, she gets. I yank my shirt off, and the rest of the buttons go flying. Oops, I suppose I should’ve taken the time to unbutton them. Honestly, it’s probably time to retire the shirt anyway. The whole not fitting thing was definitely comical. I move off to the side and push my pants down and kick my legs until I’m as naked as the day I was born. I glance at her just as a bit of sunlight peers through the blinds. Her ring sparkles, and that’s when it hits me. I’m not only marrying my best friend but the only woman I ever want to be this way with. She looks at me with pleading eyes. “I love you.” Katelyn may want me to hurry, but I’m not going to do that. I’m going to take my time.

I run my hands over her breasts, causing her back to arch beautifully, and I don’t stop my ministrations until I have her moaning and satisfied beneath me. Still, I take my time as I push into her, keeping my eyes locked on her. This time, sex with her is different. Long gone are the magazines, the trips to the library, and the trysts in her shed. I’m making love to the woman who will be my wife, who will take my last name as hers—knowing this as I push inside of her hits differently. We’re connected on a different level from here on out.

We kiss and moan our way to a release together and ride the waves of pleasure while my heart is about to burst from love for her. “I love you, Katelyn,” I mummer against her neck. “I love you so much.”

She brushes her fingers through my hair, and I can feel the smile on her face when her cheeks press against my forehead. Then I push up onto my elbows, our noses brushing against each other’s. “I’m going to spend my life making you happy,” I promise.

“You already do,” she said back before bringing me back down for another kiss.

Thirty-Six

This past year has flown by. I swear I went to bed a tired and sore football-playing college sophomore one night, to a guy about to be married the next. I’ll never forget the day I asked Katelyn to marry me, nor will I forget when Noah and I were sitting on the couch when Katelyn and Josie came into the living room to tell me they had set a date for our wedding. They, not Katelyn and me. They. I gave Katelyn so much shit, even though I didn’t really care, but watching her cater to my broken heart for a couple of days was worth it. In the end, the date doesn’t matter, as long as we get married. Honestly, I thought she would want to wait until we were out of college, but she doesn’t. She says we’re already living together; we might as well get married.

I mute the television when I hear a knock on the door. I take Noah with me to answer it. He’s walking now and a mini-tornado. He has to be watched all the time. Everything in the apartment is Noah proof. Not baby proof, but Noah. He’s like the superman of babies.

I’m surprised to see Nick standing on the other side of the door. He looks from me to Noah and then back at me. “Damn, you and Katelyn had a baby?”

I step aside and let him in. “How’d you find us?”

“Your mom told me where you were living.” He says as he looks around the living room. Then, he turns and looks at me. “How have you been?” I set Noah down, and he takes off, waddling and squealing. Nick and I hug and slap each other on our backs.

“Things are good. Katelyn and I are getting married in a couple of days. It’s a small ceremony, but you should come.”

“I should probably stay away.”

I know why he says this, and all I can do is shake my head. “Want a beer? I’ve got a lot to catch you up on.” Nick nods and takes a seat on the couch. I snag a running Noah and set him down in his playpen. He’s angry. He bounces up and down while jawing at me.

“He’s cute,” Nick says as I head to the kitchen.

“He’s not mine.”

“You moonlighting as a babysitter these days?”

I laugh and hand him a beer. “Something like that.” I sit down next to him and give Noah his bottle. He takes a sip, drops it on the floor, and then screams until I pick it up again. Unfortunately, this can go on for hours if I don’t nip it in the bud right away. I pick up the bottle and set it on the table. He whines until I bark out his name, and then he quietens down.

“Wow, you’ve got the secret touch.”

“Yeah, me and this stud muffin have an agreement.”

“So, not your kid, which means I’m assuming he’s not Katelyn’s either.”

I shake my head. “Nope, this little guy belongs to Josie.” I hear the air leave Nick’s lungs.

“Damn,” he says quietly.

“Yeah. Noah’s a year old, my little buddy, and a holy terror now that he’s walking.”

“Are Josie and Liam married?”

My head turns to him so fast I swear I’ve given myself whiplash. Has he been living under a rock? “Dude, where have you been?”

“School. Studying. Learning my way around a coat room.”

“Coat room? Do I even want to know?”

Nick laughs and shakes his head. “So why the melodramatic look?”

“Liam’s gone,” I tell him. “Bailed weeks into our freshman year and hasn’t been back. He’s some rock star Aerosmith wanna be now.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Nick shakes his head. He leans forward and looks at Noah, who’s throwing his football around, and then back at me. “Liam’s gone?”

“Yep.”

“And he just left his kid?”

I shrug and wonder if I should tell Nick or not about my trip to Los Angeles. I haven’t told the girls because I don’t want them to know I let them down. “He doesn’t know he has a kid. Showed up one night, broke up with Josie, and then we hear him on the radio.” I pick Noah up and let him stand on my legs. He’s bouncing up and down, drooling and saying, “Dada.”

“Unc,” I say each time he says dada. “Unc.” But Noah doesn’t listen and keeps saying dada. One day a week, he goes to daycare, and that’s where we think he picked it up, but he also calls Katelyn mama, so maybe it’s just a baby thing. I turn him to face Nick. “Noah, this is my friend Nick. Can you say hi?” I hold him with one hand and wave with my other.

Noah lifts his chubby hand, turns it toward himself, and waves. We’re working on it, but it’s cute and makes me smile. Then, Noah does the unthinkable and calls Nick, “Dada.”

“Sorry about that. We think he thinks all men are his dada.”

“No problem,” Nick says as he reaches out to touch Noah’s nose. “He’s cute.”

“He is, but he’s also a handful. However, I wouldn’t trade my situation for anything right now. I love this little guy so much.” I give him a little wiggle, and he laughs. “Hey, Noah. High five.” Noah raises his hand and touches my open palm. We’re still working on this too, but he’s almost got it mastered. “That’s my boy!” Noah giggles and tells me that he wants down. He doesn’t wait for me to acknowledge his request and launches himself toward the couch. I hold him until he lands on the cushion, and then he slides off. He waves to me and says, “Bye-bye.”

“Bye, see ya,” I tell him.

“Where’s he going?” Nick asks.

“Beats me. There are gates up everywhere, so he can’t get far. We’ve done as much baby proofing as possible, but he still manages to get into things. I definitely can’t take my eyes off him.” We’re quiet for a minute, and then I ask Nick, “So, what brings you to town?”

“I’ve got a week off, and I thought I’d come back and see what everyone’s doing.”

“Just living life.”

“So, you and Katelyn are getting married?”

“Yeah, I asked her last summer, and she said yes. I thought we’d wait until graduation, but she doesn’t want to. Her parents aren’t exactly on board, so I think this is her way of showing them that she’s old enough to make her own decisions.”

“Will Josie be there?”

I nod.

“With a date?”

I shake my head slowly. “Nope, she hasn’t dated anyone since Liam left.”

“Huh,” he says as he brings his bottle of beer to his lips.

My dad helps me tie my bowtie, and once he’s done, my mom makes sure it’s straight. We’re in the room off to the side of the altar. My dad calls it the antechamber, but my mom argues with him that the antechamber is the room outside of the church's double doors before you get outside. I stand there, not caring because in a few minutes, I’m going to walk out of this room with my dad by my side and wait for my bride to come down the aisle. My parents want everything to be perfect, and from the way things seem to be, I think they are. They don’t understand that Katelyn could roller skate down the aisle, and I’d be happy, just as long as she is there to marry me.

“After the ceremony, the car will take you to the Town Hall. There will be food and dancing, and then the presents will be put into our car, and then tomorrow the kids will come over and open them.”

I stand there staring at my mom. “Mom?”

“What?” She looks at me oddly, and then her eyes glance at my dad.

“You’re talking to yourself,” my dad says, he touches her arm softly, and she smiles. Except, I don’t buy it. The other day when I showed up at the house, she didn’t hear me come in, and before I could alert her to my presence, I caught her talking. She went through the entire process of how to wash and dry a plate and never realized I was there. When she turned and saw me, I expected her to jump because she was scared, but she stood there, turned back to her sink, and continued talking. It took me a good minute of calling her name to get her attention. I told my dad, and he said he’d make an appointment for her.

The door opens, and I tear my eyes away from my parents and nod toward the minister. “It’s time, Mason.”

I clap my hands together, kiss my mom’s cheek, and then head to the door. There are a few people in the pews, maybe fifty or so, but I’m most surprised to see Katelyn’s parents sitting in the front row. We don’t make eye contact. They don’t want to be here any more than I want them here. But at least they decided to show up for their only daughter.

My dad seats my mom in the front row, next to Josie’s parents, and then stands next to me. “Do you have the rings?”

He pats his pockets more times than I think necessary and then smiles. “Right here, son. Don’t worry. I won’t let you down.”

No, he won’t. I know I’ve always said Liam Westbury was my best friend, but in truth, it was my dad. He’s always had my back and never made me feel like I wasn’t important or that I didn’t matter.

When the music starts, I stand a bit straighter until I see Noah coming down the aisle. He’s carrying, or supposed to be carrying, a satin pillow. Thankfully, Josie had the keen sense of mind to give my dad the rings otherwise who knows where Noah would put them. I crouch down and say, “Little Man.”

Noah’s eyes meet mine, and he comes running to me. He falls, tripping over the carpet, and Nick is there to help him up. Once he’s on his feet again, he’s coming full force toward me. After we high five, Mrs. Preston calls him toward her, which is even more exciting for Noah. He loves his grandparents. Having a toddler at your wedding isn’t ideal, but neither is getting married in college, yet here we are. When the invites went out, we got so many calls asking if Katelyn was pregnant. Shame that this was the first thing people thought when they received their invitation.

Josie comes down the aisle in a light pink dress that matches the color of the flowers. She winks at me when she passes by and stands off to the side. Noah calls out her name and then proudly announces that his papa is here. Everyone in the church laughs.

The music changes, and everyone stands. I wait for the doors to open, to reveal my bride, and when they do, I’m left speechless. Katelyn walks toward me in her lacy white gown, holding a bouquet of roses and other flowers. I have no idea what they’re called, but they make her happy, and that makes me happy. Her hair is down—my favorite. She takes each step toward me with a smile that seems to grow wider the closer she gets to the altar.

I glance at her father, who’s sitting by her mother. I don’t know the entire story but do know he said he would walk her down the aisle, and she chose to walk by herself. I have a feeling there was an ultimatum attached to his offer and she wanted nothing to do with it.

“Wow,” I say when she stands in front of me. “You’re so beautiful.” I dab the wetness from my eyes.

“You’re pretty handsome, yourself.”

“Oh yeah, think you want to marry me?”

“Yeah, I think I do.”

“Good thing since we’re standing in front of our friends and family.”

“Good thing,” she says.

The minister approaches, and everyone sits. He goes into his spiel, reminding everyone why we’re gathered this Saturday. He talks about the love Katelyn and I share for each other, how we met when we were freshmen, but I took my sweet time figuring out she was flirting with me. This makes everyone laugh. Even me. He tells of our journey, from dating to college to helping our best friend traverse through being a single-parent, and how we’ve grown closer with each passing day. I wink at Katelyn, and her face lights up. The minister tells us to join hands, and Katelyn hands her bouquet to Josie, who designed it for her best friend.

We join hands and listen to the minister talk to us about love, commitment, and always being open and honest with each other. He tells me I need to remember to pick up my shoes and socks, to always tell Katelyn she’s right, even when she’s wrong, and to always kiss her goodnight. To Katelyn, he says that to be fair, she should let me be right sometimes. Again, we laugh.

We repeat our vows. We decided on the traditional route because the things we’d say to each other are said in our bedroom. There are some things I want to leave in the privacy of our home. When all is said and done, I put her wedding band on her finger, and she’s slips one onto mine, and we’re instructed to kiss.

“It gives me great honor to introduce for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Mason Powell.” Our hands go up, I kiss her again, and then we walk down the aisle to our friends and family clapping. When we get to the double doors, I pick her up and twirl her around.

“I love you, Mrs. Powell.”

“More than words, Mr. Powell.”

Thirty-Seven

The balloons, streamers, and banners announcing, “Just Married” and “Mr. & Mrs. Powell” cover every free inch of the basement in Town Hall. There are poster boards filled with pictures of Katelyn and me, through the years, and even some of us as babies. I’m not sure who procured those but seeing Katelyn as a baby gives me a lot of hope that our future children will be beautiful.

The photographer tries to be as stealthy as possible, but after posing for photos for the past hour, I’m tired, hungry, and I want him to go away so I can enjoy a moment with my bride. The duties of being a groom are exhausting. Pose, shake hands, hug, thank everyone for coming and kiss your bride each time someone hits their fork against their glass. I’m not complaining about having to kiss Katelyn, because believe me, I’m going to kiss her for the rest of my life, but this guy wants to sit down and relax and put some food in his mouth before he keels over.

Still, I wouldn’t trade today for anything in the world. I don’t think I’ve smiled more any other time in my life, and I’m smiling because of my beautiful bride, knowing she chose me to spend the rest of her life with.

Josie, Noah, and Nick are sitting with Katelyn and me. Noah sits on Josie’s lap while she feeds him or at least tries to. He’s not being overly cooperative and is probably as tired as I am. When he cries out, Mrs. Preston rushes over and tells us they’re going home and that’ll keep Noah for the night. Josie thanks her mom and then sits back in her seat with an audible sigh. I’m not surprised to see Nick sitting next to Josie. I swear his face lit up like a Christmas tree when he found out she was single. I know he’s been waiting a long time to ask her out, but I have my reservations. He’s sort of a dog and likes to hook up, at least from what he’s said in the past. If he’s going to put the moves on Josie, we’re going to have a serious talk. She can’t afford to have her heart broken again. Honestly, I’m not sure she’s ready to move on. Liam’s absence these past two years has really done a number on her. I’m not sure her heart will ever heal from the damage he’s caused, and I’m not confident Nick is the one to try and fix her. Something tells me her savior needs to be someone who doesn’t know her as Liam’s girlfriend from Beaumont. The less they know about her past, I think the better off they’ll be.

“Let’s dance.” Katelyn places her hand on my forearm, pulling me from my thoughts. “I want to dance with my husband.”

Husband. Wow, it’s amazing how a word can change everything.

Taking her hand in mine, I kiss it and then stand, pulling her up with me. I lead us onto the floor where only a few people are dancing. As soon as she’s in my arms, I hold her close and let the music wash over us. We sway back and forth as we stare into each other’s eyes.

“I love you.”

“You make me so happy, Mason.” Her fingers caress the nape of my neck. Katelyn has no idea of the sheer amount of joy she brings to my life. Who knew that at fifteen, we’d find each other and never look back?

“You’re my life, Katelyn. It’ll be yours forever.”

Others join us on the floor. I glance around, enjoying our friends and family as they celebrate the love Katelyn and I share for each other. Josie and Nick dance with each other. As much as I hate to say it, they look cute together, and she’s smiling. I haven’t seen her genuinely smile in a long time. Maybe he is the answer to her heartache, the one who can heal her and help her move on. I think if he can change his ways, he could be good for her, as long as he’s good for Noah. They’re a packaged deal—which I suspect he knows—and there is no way in hell I’m going to let anyone hurt either of them.

The night winds down, and it’s time for Katelyn and me to leave. We’re not going anywhere for our honeymoon. However, we have a hotel room for the night—the bridal suite at Beaumont’s version of the Plaza. The hotel is by far the nicest thing we have in town, and it beats the no tell motel that sits off the highway.

Everyone gathers outside and creates an aisle for us. They throw birdseed and cheer as we walk past them. When we get to the end, Katelyn tosses her bouquet to Josie and then yells, “You’re next,” much to Josie’s horror-stricken face.

“I think you just gave her a heart attack and Nick some hope. You’re evil,” I say quietly to my wife as I lead her to the car. She laughs and gets in the front seat of the small Honda we were able to buy thanks to its low payments. I don’t know who decorated the car, but they did a stand-up job. There are beer cans on the ground, streamers coming from the trunk, and “Just Married” in white writing written on every window possible. Exactly what I wanted.

Katelyn rolls the window down and leans out. “I love all of you.” I pull away, but that’s not enough for her to get in and sit down. She stays where she is and yells, “I am married!” until everyone is out of sight.

I pick her hand up and kiss it. “Are you happy?”

“So happy,” she says as she rolls her window up. “What a perfect day. No drama. I wasn’t a bridezilla, and everyone we wanted to be there came along.”

I nod in agreement.

“And you know what?”

“What’s that, my love?”

“I think Josie and Nick are going to make a great couple.” I give her a sideways glance but don’t say anything. “She likes him, and he’s going to be a doctor so he can take care of her and Noah and give her a good life.”

“We’ll see.”

Katelyn shakes her head. “Nothing to see, they’re going out tomorrow before Nick goes back to school, and he’s already told her when he’ll be back next. I think he’s going to seize the opportunity.”

As much as I like Nick, I’m not so sure about this. The thing is, why shouldn’t I be supportive? My best friend ditched out on a life with Josie, I should want her to be happy, and if it’s Nick that can do that, it shouldn’t matter what I think.

But I wonder . . . what could’ve been.

When we get to the hotel and out of the car, I pull Katelyn into my arms right there. I don’t care who’s watching or who might see us. I can’t stand not to be kissing her right now.

“Ready to check-in, Mrs. Powell?”

Katelyn gives me a wide grin right before my lips claim hers. “I love the sound of that. Say it again.”

“Mrs. Powell,” I say it as many times as she wants as long as she continues to smile at me like the way she is now. There’s a glint in her eye. She has a plan, which makes me wonder what she has tucked away in her overnight bag. Is she going to wear something I have to untie?

Once we check-in, we head to the top floor, where the view is supposed to take our breath away. I open the door, keeping my hand on it, so she has time to walk in. She gasps and says, “Oh, Mason.”

The large window is open, and sure enough, the lights of Beaumont give the room the perfect glow. There are roses on the side table, along with a bottle of champagne, two flutes, and a tray of fruit, crackers, and cheeses. I set our bags down by the dresser, wrap my arms around my wife, and rest my head on her shoulder. We stand there, staring at the town we grew up in, the place where we’ll live and raise our family.

“So, wanna turn the game on?” I ask, breaking the silence. To be honest, I don’t even know what kind of game is on.

Katelyn turns in my arms. I expect her to chastise me, but she doesn’t. She trails her fingertips down the side of my face and then rises on her tippy toes to kiss me. I let her lead, giving her all the control. She deepens the kiss, and I think, this is it, this is the moment that will bind us together forever. When she pulls away, my lips follow her, and she laughs.

“I want to wear something special for tonight,” she tells me.

“But if I’m just going to take it off, why put it on?” The logic makes sense to me.

“Because I want you to see how sexy you make me feel.”

I nod and let go of her, even though the only thing I want to do is lead her to the bed and make love to her. Katelyn steps away and takes her overnight bag into the bathroom. With the door closed and not knowing how long she’ll be in there, I start to undress. I put my jacket on the back of the chair and undo my cufflinks and the first few buttons of my shirt. I also unhook my pants because they’re a little tight, and I have a feeling that whatever Katelyn wears for me tonight is going to cause a growth in my slacks.

Katelyn comes out of the bathroom in a long white nightgown. It looks like satin or silk. Not that I would know the difference. There’s a slit that goes all the way to her hip bone. She stalks toward me, methodically putting one foot in front of the other. The slow, languish pace gives me ample time to undress her with my eyes. She’s mouthwatering and the most gorgeous woman I have ever laid my eyes on.

My wife stands there, looking more beautiful than I’d ever seen her. Her long hair cascades over her shoulder in big curls. She tilts her head and smiles softly, and her big brown eyes tease me. I have to look down at the ground for a second because any look from her right now could have me finishing before I can even get my pants off. One thing is certain, after all these years, Katelyn has never failed to take my breath away.

Before I can tell her how beautiful she is, there’s a knock on the door. We look at each other for a second, and dread fills me. I can’t imagine anyone interrupting us tonight, so it can only mean something has happened to a loved one. I go to the door and open it in a rush.

“Mr. and Mrs. Powell,” the man on the other side says, and I nod. He hands me a bottle of wine and a box that looks like chocolates.

“Who’s this from?”

He smiles and wishes me goodnight.

“Thanks,” I mutter as he walks away.

“What’s this?” Katelyn asks after I lock the door again.

“I’m not sure, but there’s a card.”

She takes the card while I set everything else on the table in the corner.

“It doesn’t say who it’s from.” Her eyes meet mine. “It just says Congratulations.”

“Well, whoever sent it, I say thank you.” I come closer to her and rest my hands on her hips. “Would you like a glass of wine or champagne?”

Katelyn’s tongue shoots out of her mouth to wet her bottom lip. “Maybe after?”

I can’t fight the smile that appears on my face if I want to. Which I don’t ever want to. “Sounds good to me.” I lean down and kiss her again. As soon as my tongue touches hers, she moans into my mouth, and wraps her arms around my neck.

Tonight, I’m going to take my time with her. Again, and again if necessary.

As we kiss, I move us back until her legs hit the bed, and she climbs onto it. Then her nimble fingers quickly undo the rest of the buttons on my shirt, which she pushes off. That’s when I reach around back to do the cool guy thing of pulling my undershirt off with one hand. I doubt it looks all that cool, but it makes me feel like I am. And Katelyn seems to like it. It probably has something to do with those gray sweatpants.

While she’s still on her knees, I slowly pull her nightgown up and take in my wife. It’s like our first time all over again, except this time, we’re smart enough to take our clothes off. Long gone are the awkward teenagers we once were, trying to figure out the mechanics of sex. All either of us knew was I had to put my dick in her and move my hips. Needless to say, the first time we had sex has never left my mind. It’s like a horror movie and the best moment of my life playing on repeat. Thank God we’ve figured things out and know what to do to make each other feel good.

Once I have her naked, I lay Katelyn down on the bed and shuck off the rest of my clothes like a man on a mission. Which I am. I’m on a mission to show my wife exactly how much I love her. Then I’m back over her.

Her hands explore until I can’t take it anymore. When she caresses my erect cock, I almost come undone. To give myself a breather, I pull her hands out to the side and tangle my fingers in hers as I claim her mouth again.

Images of her flash through my head as I kiss my way down her body. From when I first asked her out to the first time we were naked and, in her shed, like this together and how beautiful she was when she walked down the aisle earlier today. All of it was becoming too much.

Once I’m sure she’s ready, I push inside her making my chest feel like it was going to explode. With Katelyn and me, there’s always a push and a pull. All of my senses fill with only her. The feel of her skin against mine. The way she moves beneath me.

I handle her with care because she’s the most precious thing in this world to me, and it’d kill me if anything hurt her.

“Mason.” My name sounds like a prayer and a curse all rolled into one, and it’s too much for me.

Before letting myself go, I make sure that I’ve coaxed every bit of pleasure possible out of her, and once she’s satisfied, I know it’s my turn.

When we’re done, I pull my wife into my arms and hold her. As much as I like the sex part of our relationship, I cherish being able to hold her like this when we’re both happy and tired while filled with the knowledge that we are with who we are supposed to be with.

“How long will this feeling last?”

She nods and caresses my cheek, “Forever, Mason.”

Thirty-Eight

One of the bonuses of being married while in college is that Katelyn sits next to me during graduation. Of course, going to a fairly small school helps because the procession goes in alphabetical order, but still, she’s next to me, and we’re about to graduate college as soon as the keynote speaker stops talking about how bright our futures are. I tuned him out seconds into his speech. When I read his bio, it said he has something like six degrees and numerous titles and travels the world being a motivational speaker. I’m sorry, but there is nothing motivational about some dude telling me that I need to stay in school for another three to eight years to achieve optimal financial status. As is, I’m twenty-two and will be in debt in a few months once the loan agency starts asking for payments on Katelyn’s tuition. Because what makes a better wedding present than her parents telling her she’s on her own? Honestly, I expected it, so it wasn’t a big surprise. I wanted to give her parents a giant fuck you, but the effort it would’ve taken me was more time than I wanted to waste on them. All I know is that I’ll never be like them, not when it comes to my children’s happiness. I get that I might not like who my son or daughter brings home, but I’m going to show their partner respect and never issue my child an ultimatum. I reach for Katelyn’s hand and squeeze. She’s the toughest woman I know when it comes to her parents, but I know she misses them and wishes they were sitting in the crowd right now. And I suspect that when Katelyn becomes a mother, she’ll want her own with her, but I don’t see that happening.

Josie is sitting a couple of seats away from us, and each time I look over at her, she’s waving. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know she’s waving at Noah. He’s sitting with his grandparents. No, I take that back. He’s standing on his grandfather’s legs so he can see what’s going on. I wave at him, and his little hand goes wild. Although, he’s far from little. With his parents being over six feet tall, Noah’s one of the tallest kids at his pre-school, making him the easiest to pick out of a crowd. I really can’t wait for him to turn five, and we can start playing football. I decided on the day that he was born I would coach him. I don’t think I could stomach letting someone else coach my kid. And while he may not be my blood, that boy is mine. I’ve helped raise him, taught him how to love and respect his mama, and am shaping him into an amazing young man.

After today, everything changes. Well, not everything but some fairly important things. I joked that once we graduate, we have to become adults, but then I’m reminded that I got married when I was twenty and if that isn’t being an adult, I don’t know what is.

Josie’s grandfather died and left her enough money not only to put a down payment down on a small house for her and Noah but also to put some into savings. She has a good job for the florist she started working for during her pregnancy and is now a manager for their location in Allenville. Katelyn will start work at the bank while studying for her CPA exam, and I decided to take a job as a physical education teacher at our old high school. Initially, I was going to go into sports medicine, but my priorities changed, and the more I thought about my future, the more I realized I wanted to teach. I know I’m not going to break the bank with a salary, but I’ll have my summers off, and when we have kids, it’ll be nice to spend all that time with them.

The keynote speaker finally finishes his speech. I sigh heavily, and Katelyn glares at me. I kiss her nose to turn her sour face into a smile. If there’s one thing I know, it’s how to make my girl smile, and when she does, I’m weak in the knees. The President of the school says the first name, and we’re underway. In twenty minutes or so, we’ll be graduates, and life will begin. My parents offered to let us live with them so we could save money to buy a house. At first, I said yes, but then I realized Josie would be by herself and I didn’t want to do that to her. Of course, I made this decision without consulting with my wife, which is never a good idea. It turned out Katelyn also made a decision on where we’d live because she told Josie we would move in with her. I’m totally okay with this even though we won’t be able to save that much money. However, I do look forward to the day when Katelyn and I have our own place because we like to hump like jackrabbits, and I’m not comfortable doing that with Noah and Josie around, or my parents for that matter.

The row we’re sitting in is told to stand—Katelyn’s in front of me with Josie, with a few people behind me. When Katelyn walks across the stage, our friends and family erupt in cheers. The same happens when I walk across and get my diploma. I show it to the crowd and pump my fist in the air. I meet Katelyn back at our seat and barely catch Josie graduating. When she shakes the President’s hand, I stand and holler as loud as I can.

After I sit down, I kiss Katelyn’s cheek. “We did it.”

“With honors.”

She’s right. We somehow managed to graduate with honors. If it weren’t for Katelyn, I probably would’ve flunked a class or two. She kept us on task, especially during football season, and made sure our homework was done every night. I’m forever grateful for her.

“With honors,” I repeat.

When the last person picks up their diploma, the President turns to us and motions us to stand. He then turns back to the crowd and announces the graduating class. Katelyn and I agreed earlier we wouldn’t toss our hats. They cost us too much money, and she has some crafty design idea or something that she will make with them. Plus, she wants to hang her tassel from her rear-view mirror.

We finally make it off stage and down to my parents and to the Preston’s. Noah jumps into my arms after he hugs his mom. I set him down, and we high-five.

“This will be you someday,” I tell him.

“Yep, just wike my unc.”

“That’s right, buddy.”

There are lots of hugs, congratulatory words, and a mention of food back at the house. After we take some photos, we head back to our apartment on campus. The past couple of weeks, we spent a lot of time packing to make the move to Josie’s. When she bought her house, I thought for sure that was going to be the end of us as this family unit. I may have even cried at the thought of not seeing my buddy every day. I know there is going to come a time when Katelyn and I or Josie and Noah need to live alone, but I’m not prepared for that to happen just yet. Thankfully, Josie asked us to move in with her, so that we can help her with the expenses and so forth. There are a couple of things that need to be done around the house and I told her I’d take care of them, at least to the best of my abilities. Only Noah knows how happy I am that our Saturday morning in front of the television, watching cartoons and eating cereal isn’t changing any time soon. I’m not sure how receptive Josie would be if I knocked on her door every Saturday morning before seven and took over the living room. Besides, I don’t want Noah ever to think I don’t want to hang out with him. I’m his guy, his go-to when he needs something. I’m always going to be there for him.

My dad, Mr. Preston, and I work to get my truck loaded with all the big, heavy stuff, while the moms, Katelyn and Josie fit our clothes, bedding, and small boxes into the rest of the cars. It would’ve made sense to move before graduation, but none of us wanted to commute back to campus. The past few weekends, I’ve been at the house to do some painting and a few minor repairs. The previous owner wasn’t exactly easy on the walls.

After everything is out of the apartment, my mom runs the vacuum once and says that’s good enough and that campus maintenance can take care of the rest. Since the end of our freshman year, we’ve lived here, and she’s still bitter about how dirty it was when we moved in. Everyone leaves, except for Katelyn and me.

Katelyn and I stand in what was our room. I hold her and kiss her cheek while she stares at the empty walls. “This was our first home.”

“I know.” We have so many memories here. It’s hard to leave. “Soon, we’ll have our own home, and we’ll make brand new memories.”

She nods and rests her hands on my forearms for a minute, and then steps out of my grasp. She kisses me but shies away when I start to deepen it. “All our furniture is loaded in your truck. I’m not having sex with you on this floor.”

“What about against the wall?”

Katelyn rolls her eyes but doesn’t say no. She does, however, stare at the wall and nod. It’s a good thing my parents drive slow because I’m about to have graduate sex with my wife.

It turns out, Katelyn and I having a quicky before we left our apartment didn’t put us that far behind my parents. In fact, they didn’t even question why we weren’t right behind them. Probably because they suspected we would have sex, or at least my mom figured we would. She’s freaky weird when it comes to my sex life.

This graduation party couldn’t be at a worse time. We have cars and a truck to unload, and while I get we have a lot of abled bodies to help us, it’s a task I want to put off. However, the moms planned this party before Josie bought her house, so we just have to deal. I catch Katelyn coming down the stairs with a smile on her face. I’m sure she went up there to use the restroom, but I’m also suspicious about why she looks so devious right now. Did she do something in my room? Did she go in there and stare at the photos I still have on my dresser of her and the two of us? I wait for her at the bottom of the stairs and when she comes into full view, I notice she’s been crying. She stops in front of me, and I look into her eyes. It’s times like this when we’re the same height, and I like it, occasionally. There is nothing sexier than my girl looking up at me with her doe eyes, showing me how much she wants me.

“What’s wrong?”

She shakes her head. “Just sad.”

I don’t have to ask her why to know it’s because of her parents. They should be here, celebrating with us, but they’re stubborn and think they’re doing the right thing by teaching their daughter a lesson and cutting her out of their life. I wonder if they have any comprehension of how much their actions are hurting Katelyn. Life is too short to be this petty, and it’s definitely too short to worry about shitty people. Right now, it’s time for a celebration. Hers, mine, ours, and Josie’s. We’re all together, and it’s time to relax with our friends and family.

“I’ve got you,” I tell her.

“Thank you,” she says after she brushes her lips across mine.

“For what?”

“Loving me more than anyone else in this world.”

I push her hair behind her ears and count to ten. Her parents piss me off so much. “My parents love you, Katelyn. I heard my mom refer to you the other day as her daughter. She didn’t add in-law at the end. She thinks of you as her own.”

More tears fall. I pull her into my arms and hold her. “You have family here. Let’s go enjoy our party.”

“Okay,” she mumbles against my neck.

We join everyone in the kitchen and outside on the deck where people have gathered. There’s a long table filled with every kind of food imaginable and a cake big enough to feed half the neighborhood. The cake reads, “Congratulations, Josie, Katelyn & Mason.”

“Hey, why am I last?”

“Alphabetical order,” Mom says as she carries a plate of fried chicken. My stomach growls at the smell, and my mouth waters at the sight. I’ve lost interest in why my name isn’t first and grab a drumstick before my mom can put the plate down. “You’re terrible,” she says. I smile, but it earns me a slap on the arm, probably because my mouth is full.

“Hey, is this where the party is?”

I turn and find Nick standing in the doorway. He has a bouquet of flowers in his hand, and something tells me those aren’t for me. I’m hurt. Heartbroken really. His gaze is focused on Josie, and by the look on her face, she’s excited he’s here.

“Sup, man!” We bro hug and act like we’re cool.

“Congrats. Sorry, I missed it.”

“Eh, seen one, you’ve seen them all. Just be happy you missed the keynote speaker. Snooze fest.”

“I skipped mine. My parents are on a cruise, and I didn’t want to sit there.”

“So, are you done?”

He nods. “For the most part. With Doc Blanchard as my mentor, he’s helped me fast-track a ton of stuff. I’m taking the general practitioner route with a specialty in peds until he retires, and then I’ll buy out his practice. I have to pull double duty at his office and the hospital for my residency, but I can start seeing patients.”

“Are you staying in Beaumont?”

Nick nods, but it’s not a yes or no. It’s toward Josie. “Has Liam called?”

I shake my head slowly. “Nope.” At this point, I don’t expect him to. I don’t expect him to return to Beaumont either. I can’t imagine why he would, unless something happened to his parents, but even then, I doubt he’d care.

“Yeah, I’m staying.”

I glance back at Josie and catch her looking at Nick. She glances back at Katelyn and smiles. Without making eye contact with Nick, I say, “Don’t hurt her. If you do, I’ll end you. She’s been through enough, and that little boy of hers, I love him like he’s my own.” I shake my head. I know I can’t protect Josie forever, but damn if I’m unsure about this. “If you’re going to pursue her, no more hook-ups, parties, none of that shit. Do you hear me?”

He nods. “I stopped that the week of your wedding. I’ve been in love with her since high school. It’s time she knows it.”

Nick leaves me there, fuming. I don’t take my eyes off of him until Katelyn pushes me toward the house. “She likes him. Let this happen.”

“But—”

“No, buts. She’s an adult. Let her act like one,” she scolds me. “If she wants to go out on a date with him, it’s her choice. Not yours.”

My wife leaves me standing in the kitchen, with my mind racing. I only want what’s best for Josie, and if she thinks Nick might be it, who am I to stand in the way?

Thirty-Nine

Nick walks onto the football field with Noah one step behind him. Noah carries his football under his arm and a helmet in his other hand. Ever since I took over the football program at Beaumont High, Noah hasn’t missed a practice. And after Noah came down with an ear infection and had to be treated by Nick, did Josie finally give in and accept a date with him. I thought that once Nick moved back to Beaumont, they would be a couple, but Josie took things extremely slowly—according to Nick. I lost count of how many times he mentioned the idea of asking her out. It’s only after he and Josie had a talk, did he stop asking. I never asked Josie, or Katelyn for that matter, what she said to him to make him change his mind, because I didn’t want to get involved. After Nick moved back, we started hanging out more, and being in the middle of a new relationship is not where I wanted to find myself.

“Hey, bud.” Noah and I high-five. “How was school?”

Noah shrugs. He’s not a big fan of school but doesn’t hassle us in the morning when it’s time to go. “I got these today.” He holds up a pair of cleats. “Nick bought them for me.” I give Nick a ton of credit when it comes to Noah. He’s stepped up, even though he didn’t have to, and has made Noah a part of his life. Honestly, the first time Noah chose Nick over me, it hurt. I felt like I had been replaced by someone who didn’t deserve Noah’s attention. Of course, I was wrong to ever think that because Noah should give Nick his attention if he wants to do so, just like we all give Noah the attention he deserves.

“Why don’t you go sit down on the bench and put them on. We’ll see how they feel,” Nick says to Noah. He runs over to the sideline and sits down, eager to try out his new shoes.

Nick stands next to me, and we look out over the field at the players. “Are we ready for tomorrow?” he asks. After I took over the team, Nick came on staff as a volunteer. He could’ve gotten a paid position, but he’s coaching Noah’s peewee team. From the moment Noah was born, I planned to coach his peewee team, but being the varsity coach at the high school means my nights are tied up, and Nick offered to do it. I couldn’t exactly say no. Still, I gave him the title of assistant head coach because I value his opinion. He may not have played much in high school, but Nick understands the game in a way I can’t. Together, we make a damn good team.

I nod. “Yep. I’m confident going into this season.” Last year, we almost suffered our first loss, but I expected to take some lumps as a first-year coach. No one was more surprised than me when we went undefeated. I know it’s unrealistic to think I’m going to coach the kids to a win every game, but that is what I go out to do every Friday night. It’s what I did when I played here, and I feel like the kids should also expect to win. Although losing humbles people, so it’s good to lose a game every once in a while.

“Me too,” he says. “I really like the way Nan Barrington slips those tackles. He’s sneaky.” Nan is a junior and spent his summer in the weight room, toning his physique. He met me in the parking lot every morning at six while the others would roll in about seven or eight. When I locked up at a ten, Nan was still there, helping restack weights and asking me what else he could work on to become faster on the field. He’s by far my favorite player right now, and I’m running everything through him.

“He’s fun to watch.”

“But not anywhere near breaking your record.”

I laugh. “I wish someone would break it so the local press would stop talking about it. It’s not fair to the kids.”

“I heard a rumor,” Nick says.

“What’s that?”

“Someone with too much money is planning to build a high school sports museum for the surrounding counties over in Allenville.”

I’m not sure how I feel about it. “Oh. Who’d you hear this from?”

“A couple of the nurses were talking in the lunchroom at the office about it.”

“Huh.” It’s all I can really say. We both know who will be front and center, and I can easily bet neither of us is interested in seeing anything that has to do with . . . well, I’d rather not think or say his name.

“Uncle Mason, can I play?” Noah comes to stand between Nick and me. He’s so eager to play and doesn’t care that most of these boys are thirteen years older than him. The thing is, he can throw the ball almost as well as our starting quarterback, as long as no one is rushing him. He’s tiny compared to the grown-ass men out there.

I blow my whistle, and the guys line up. “For the next few minutes, we’re going to take a break and let Noah play for a minute. You can get water or stay on the field, your choice. Split up.” I say this knowing no one will leave the field. Everyone loves Noah.

Noah runs out and huddles with the first set of boys that call him over. When I let him in the huddles last year, Josie about lost her mind. She thought the boys were corrupting her son. I assured her they were doing no such thing, but I also made sure no one cussed in front of him or talked about the dirty tricks they would perform once they tackled someone. He’ll learn the tricks when he’s old enough to play. I think I started pinching thighs when I was about nine or ten.

Nick takes one side of the field, and I take the other, where Noah is. I get to the huddle and hear Nan call out one of the plays Noah knows. They clap and go to the line of scrimmage. “Remember what I taught you,” I say into Noah’s ear.

Noah gets behind our center and says his cadence. The center hikes the ball, and Noah drops back. He looks left and then right, before sending the ball ten yards into Nan’s chest.

I blow the whistle, much to Nan’s chagrin (I think he wanted to score) and tell everyone to set up again. We run the same play, and before I say anything, Nick blows his whistle. He saw the same defensive break down I had on the previous play.

“Did I do something wrong?” Noah asks.

“Absolutely not. You’re hitting Nan right in his chest. Do you think you hit targets?”

Noah nods. “I hit the one in the tire swing.” He’s right, although it’s not a tire swing. The little girl next to us thinks it is and asks him regularly if he wants to swing with her. He goes outside, but to him, the tire is there so he can throw the ball through the hole. As of late, I’ve moved the tire around to try and better his aim and release.

“Nan,” I call him over and explain that I want him to move his target. He accepts the challenge and gives Noah a high-five.

The boys set up again, and when Noah has the ball, Nan moves his hands toward his waist. Noah hits Nan in stride.

“Damn.”

“Was that right?” he asks.

I nod, set my hand on his shoulder, and crouch down. “Noah, I can’t wait to coach you in high school.”

He smiles and blushes. I gotta teach this boy to take a compliment.

The past couple of days have been very hectic. Katelyn hasn’t felt well and has stayed home from work, and with Josie working in Allenville, this puts me on Noah duty. I don’t mind, but things get a bit complicated, and timing becomes tight when my co-worker, the other P.E. teacher, calls out sick. I get that they might be ill, but it’s happened every other Friday for the past two months, and I’m tired of it. It might not be so bad if the school brought in a substitute, but they just expect me to cover the class or merge it with mine. Having twenty teens in a class is one thing. Add twenty to thirty more, and that gives me gray hair. Of course, the right thing to do is to say something, but then they’ll know it was me who complained, so it’s like, why bother. It would be nice if the administration took a stance or something.

The phone on my desk rings. I don’t bother to look down to see who’s calling before I pick it up. “Mr. Powell.”

“Hey, Mr. Powell.”

Even after all these years, her voice still sends my heart into a tailspin and can bring a smile to my face. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I have a doctor’s appointment at four, and I’m wondering if you want to come with me.”

Normally, I’d have to say no because it’s Friday and we usually have games, but it’s a bye week, and I’m free. “Of course. Do you want me to pick you up or want me to meet you there?”

“If you could pick me up, that would be great.”

“I’ll be there as soon as school is out today.”

“Okay.” There’s a long pause until she clears her throat. “Mase, I’m sort of scared.”

“Don’t worry, babe. I got you.” The truth is, I’m scared too. For as long as I’ve known Katelyn, she’s rarely been sick. She’s had a cold here and there, and maybe a twenty-four hour bug, but nothing that has kept her in bed for days on end. We thought she might be pregnant. In fact, I sort of hoped she was, but she’s like clockwork. I suppose that’s for the best though, because we live with Josie, and I don’t know what we’d do if we had to get our own place.

I thought for sure I’d be able to save a lot of money by living with Josie, but that hasn’t been the case. My truck needed a bunch of work, which exhausted our savings. Katelyn and I thought about buying another car, but we’re in the middle of an inflation, and everything is overpriced. Not to mention, we are still paying off her student loans, and Katelyn’s job at the bank went from full-time to part-time, which we hadn’t planned on. She has applications all over town as a bookkeeper, but jobs around Beaumont are few and far between.

After I pick Noah up from school, I drop him off at his grandparents' and then swing by and grab Katelyn. The Preston’s will watch Noah until either Josie is back in town or Katelyn’s appointment is over. While he’s well behaved, no one wants to go sit in a doctor’s office.

I sit in the hard chair while Katelyn sits on the bed. She answers every question the nurse asks and then repeats herself when the doctor comes in. I swear, no one communicates with each other. It’s not like my wife is going to change her mind when she says, “something is wrong.” At least she listens to her body.

The doctor finally has her lie back and starts poking around her abdomen. When Katelyn flinches, I hop up and go to her side. “I’m okay,” she tells me as she looks into my eyes, but I see tears. I lean down, kiss her forehead, and stay there.

“I got you.”

“I know.” She tilts her head into mine for comfort.

“Katelyn, when was your last period?”

“Three weeks ago,” she answers. “I’m very regular.”

The doctor looks over Katelyn’s chart and frowns. “Did we get a urine sample when you came in?”

Katelyn nods, and the doctor flips a page. “Okay, I’ll be right back. I don’t see the results here.”

As soon as the door closes, I help Katelyn sit up. “I knew something was wrong.”

“She just went to get your pee in the cup results,” I say to try and lighten the mood.

The door opens, and the doctor smiles. “Well, as I suspected, congratulations are in order.”

“For what?” I ask.

“You’re pregnant.”

Complete silence fills the room. It’s so quiet I can hear the people in the other room chatting away about her diaphragm not fitting, and I start to wonder if Katelyn has one of those and, if not, does she need one.

I clear my throat. “Come again?”

“I think that’s the problem,” Katelyn mutters. “I’m not late, though, and haven’t missed any periods. Are you sure?”

The doctor nods, and before she can say anything, the door opens, and another doctor walks in. At least, I’m assuming the woman in the white coat is a doctor. She smiles at us and shakes our hands. “I’m Dr. Maye, the OB on staff here.”

“I’m Katelyn, and this is my husband, Mason. And we’re both a bit confused because I haven’t missed a period.”

“I can easily understand your confusion. Your urine showed the hormone HCG is present, which only occurs when there’s a placenta. So, we’re going to take you down and do an ultrasound. We want to take a look at your uterus and see what’s going on.”

“Okay,” Katelyn says, but she doesn’t seem convinced.

A nurse brings in a wheelchair, which Katelyn vehemently protests, saying she can walk, but no one listens to her. The nurse doesn’t even let me push her and instead hands me Katelyn’s clothes to carry. There’s a lump sitting heavily in my stomach. It’s a combination of fear and excitement, but mostly fear that something may be very wrong with my wife.

The room they take us to is dark, with soft music playing. The nurse helps Katelyn onto a table, and Dr. Maye brings the rolling stool toward the side of the bed. The nurse drapes a thin medical blanket over Katelyn’s legs and lifts her gown, exposing her belly. I try to get a good look to see if there’s a growing bump like Josie had, but Katelyn looks the same to me.

“You can sit here.” The nurse points to a stool beside my wife. I set her clothes down on a chair by the door and take the seat next to Katelyn. She’s scared. I can see the panic in her eyes.

“Whatever it is, we’ll be fine. I got you.”

“I know.”

“Okay, Katelyn, let’s get started. The gel might be a little cold,” Dr. Maye says as she squirts blue stuff onto Katelyn’s belly. She then adds some wand looking thing to her stomach and presses several buttons on her keyboard. The monitor comes alive with a black glob of who knows what, along with some white shadows. Dr. Maye moves her tool around, presses more buttons, and then holds her hand steady.

“If you look here,” she points to the screen. I lean forward to get a better look. “This is your baby.”

“What?” Katelyn asks. “Are you sure?”

“I am.” Dr. Maye moves the monitor closer to Katelyn. “Right here, you’re measuring about ten weeks.”

“Ten weeks? But I haven’t missed a period.”

“Our bodies are different. They react differently to certain situations.” The doctor responds while still moving the wand around.

“Is the baby okay?” I ask.

“Uh . . .” there’s a massively long pause while the doctor presses buttons and moves her tool. All I can think is that our baby is not okay. “If you look here.” She points to the screen, and we lean closer. “This is baby A, and this is baby B.”

“What does that mean?” I ask.

“We’re having twins?” Katelyn says in a straight panic.

“Wait, what?”

The doctor laughs. “Congratulations, you’re having twins.”

Silence fills the ride home. Katelyn stares out the window while I hold her hand. Deep down, I know she’s happy. This news is just unexpected. It’s one thing to find out you’re pregnant, but to find out you’re having twins, it’s a whole other ball game. I’m in shock, but I am happy that my swimmers know how to get the job done and done well. I want kids: five, six, or seven of them. Hell, I’ll take a whole damn team if I can. I also respect that I’m not the one who has to carry and birth them, so I’ll leave the number of children up to my wife.

“Do you want to go to the park where Josie and Noah are?” Katelyn asks me.

“Noah’s at his grandparents,” I tell her.

“No, Josie said he had something at the park later. I’m sure she said it was today.”

The last thing I want to do is tell my wife she’s wrong. “Sure.” I turn at the stoplight and head toward the park. I suspect she wants to tell Josie what’s going on. I can’t say I blame her. I wish I had my best friend to talk to, but yeah . . .

I pull into the parking lot and see Nick’s truck and Josie’s car. Damn, I must’ve spaced that Noah had a game today. I could’ve messed everything up for him. I park and help Katelyn out of the truck. I hold her in my arms, inhaling the scent of her shampoo. “I love you. I know this is scary, and we’re probably not ready, but we got this. We can do it.”

“I know,” she says as she leans into me. “I was okay with one, but two.” She shakes her head. “I don’t know how I’m going to handle three Masons in my life.”

I laugh and kiss the tip of her nose. “You think they’re boys?”

“Of course, they are. How else can you explain the havoc they’re already doing on my body.”

“They’ll worship the ground you walk on. I’ll raise them right.”

“I know you will.”

We part ways when we get to where Josie is. Noah has a game or a scrimmage, and I must’ve forgotten about it. I stand on the sideline with Nick while Katelyn goes to sit with Josie.

“Sorry, I must’ve forgotten.”

“You didn’t,” Nick says. “Their coach called and asked if we could put something together because they’re losing a game this weekend due to a forfeiture.” He points to the opposing team’s coach.

“Oh, gotcha.”

I stand there with Nick, coaching right along the side of him until halftime. That’s when I look over and see Josie sitting by herself. I go to her and sit down. “Where’s my wife?”

“She went to the bathroom.”

“Ah.” I look over my shoulder and then back at Josie. “I knocked her up good.”

Josie rolls her eyes. “If you leave her, I’ll kill you.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Josie. I love her more than anything in this world, and now that she’s carrying my babies—Katelyn is on the highest pedestal I can put her on. She’s my life. I’d rather die than not be with her.”

“Just remember that when she needs you the most.”

I bump my shoulder into hers. “I was there for you.” I remind her. “Still am.”

Josie nods and bumps me back. “I can’t believe you’re going to have twins.”

“Like I said, I knocked her up good!”

Forty

I sit on the floor and rummage through a memory box. It’s an old shoebox that I used to put important things in and marked it “Mason’s Keep Out!” Each time I pick up a picture or an article, it’s Liam and me doing something stupid or celebrating in the end zone. Every item brings back a flood of memories and sends me back to when things were different, and our plans were different. I’m supposed to be cleaning out my childhood bedroom, so Katelyn and I can turn this into our bedroom later this week. And as I look around at the posters, the trophies, and photos, I have to wonder if I’m to blame for everything that has happened in the past five years. Did Liam leave because of me? Deep down, I know he didn’t. He left because he needed something different out of life, and he’s stayed away because he’s selfish.

“Hey,” my dad says as he comes into my room. I put the picture of Liam and me back into the box and put the lid on my past life.

“Hey.” I stand and set my teenage memories into a tote box. It’s moving to the basement for safekeeping. But I’m not ready to throw these things away just yet.

My dad sits down on my bed and sighs. When I told my parents that Katelyn is pregnant with twins, I think my parents aged ten years. None of us are naïve when it comes to the struggles facing us. One baby is enough to add financial hardship, but two could push someone over the edge. That’s where I was until my parents stepped in.

I’m beyond thrilled that I will be a dad of two, but when that first doctor bill came in, and my insurance barely covered any of it, I about had a heart attack. Anything Katelyn and I had left in our savings went out the window, along with any prospect of buying a house, let alone finding an affordable one for rent.

My parents saw the uphill battle before us and made an offer too good to refuse—move back home, rent free, and save for a house. My wife and I jumped at the opportunity. It’s not ideal but being here also gives Katelyn a hand with the twins when I’m not home.

“I can’t believe your mom never changed your room after you went to college.”

I scoff. “I thought for sure she’d turn my room into a library or craft room.”

Dad stands and picks up one of the packed boxes. “I’ll take this down to the basement.”

“Thanks. I’ll be down with the rest in a minute.”

He pauses next to me and sighs. “I can’t imagine what it’s like to look through some of your stuff and to see Liam.”

“Yeah.” I think about him often, but not in the same way I used to. I don’t reminisce about our friendship or anything like that. I’m angry with him, almost to the point where I hate him. I hear his songs come on the radio, and I turn the dial. I never watch MTV or VH1 out of fear his videos will come on. Seeing his face on magazines in the store bothers me. Everyone loves him and goes on and on about how famous he is, yet he has a son he hasn’t even come home to meet. There isn’t a doubt in my mind that Liam knows about Noah.

I thought with Katelyn and I moving out, Nick would move in, but that doesn’t seem to be the case even though he and Josie are a strong couple, and he’s helping raise Noah. I fought letting Nick in for the longest time, but now I count him as my closest friend. I’ll never have another best friend because the hurt that comes with that title is too much to bear, but Nick’s a close second.

I add a few more things to the tote, put the lid on, and stack it by the door. I tackle the walls next, pulling down the posters and rolling them gently. I don’t know if I’ll keep them, but they’re going into the basement for now. Maybe next year or in five years from now, I’ll decide what to do with them.

My dad helps me take apart my bed and move it to the spare room. I like the idea that my room will become the twins’ room. I look forward to holding them and telling them stories about growing up in this house and how you can see the sunrise if you look out the window each morning. Tomorrow, I’ll repaint the room white, and while I put together the cribs that my parents bought, Katelyn will decorate the walls.

My dad and I carry the bags of clothes out to my truck. I’ll drop them off at the Goodwill on my way back to Josie’s. I tell my parents I’ll be back tomorrow. After making one stop, I’m back home, and Noah’s tackling my legs.

“What’s up, bud?”

“I’m sad.”

“Me too.” I pick him up even though he’s five now and growing like a weed. “This just means we’ll have lots of sleepovers.”

“Momma says I can’t sleep with Aunt Katelyn anymore because of her belly.”

Same, buddy.

“Don’t worry. I’ll figure something out.” Noah and I go into the backyard, where Nick’s putting lighter fluid on briquettes. “Hey, man. Do you need anything?”

“Actually, yes.”

Now, when I ask this, I never expect anyone ever to need anything. Usually, people say they’re good, or everything has been taken care of. But not Nick because he always forgets something.

He pulls a list from his back pocket and hands it to me. I look at it, and my mouth drops a little. “Dude, you didn’t buy any of the necessities.”

He shrugs. “I got sidetracked.”

I shake my head and put the slip of paper into my pocket. “Wanna go to the store with me?” I ask Noah, who is still sitting on my hip. He nods, and I set him down so he can go put his shoes on. “Anything else?” I ask Nick.

“Nope, that should do it.”

“Right.”

In the truck, I turn the dial to talk radio. This is easier than explaining why I need to change the station each time a certain song or artist comes on. Noah stares out the window and rambles on about his day. He tells me that he and Nick went for a long walk this morning and that his mom has a secret but won’t tell anyone. She probably doesn’t, but we say it's a secret anytime we have adult stuff to talk about, so Noah knows it’s not for him. Probably not the best parental tactic, but we were young when we started it, and it’s too late to stop now.

At the store, Noah asks if he can ride in the cart. I don’t mind because he’s much easier to keep an eye on, and I don’t have to worry about him walking away from me. I hand him the list Nick wrote, and we work on sounding out the words. I don’t care if this trip takes me hours. Nick deserves to wait for not stopping and getting what he needed.

Noah and I zig-zag through the aisles, working on his pronunciation when Bianca Westbury comes into view. Most of the time, I can avoid her, but she’s standing in front of my cart, staring at Noah. I watch her face for any emotion—something to prove to me that she cares.

Nothing.

Noah looks at his grandmother, and I wonder if he sees any of himself in her eyes. They’re the same color and shape. Their skin complexion is the same, and their lips purse at the same time.

“At least say hi to him,” I tell her, against my better judgment. I should move, push the cart away from her, but I can’t. I’m frozen. After seeing the old pictures of Liam this morning, I want this for Noah. I want him to know who the other side of his family is.

Her eyes cut to mine and then back to Noah. For a second, I think she’s going to speak, to introduce herself, but she doesn’t. Her mouth opens and closes, and then she shakes her head. Maybe she’s afraid—of Sterling, of admitting she has a grandchild that she’s ignored, embarrassing herself in front of Beaumont—or perhaps she’s just cruel.

“You’re a real piece of work, Bianca.” I push the cart away from her. Noah leans to the side and watches her as we retreat.

“Who is that?”

I shake my head. “Just someone I used to know a long time ago.”

“Why did she look at me like that?”

“Because you’re stinking adorable, and she’s jealous that she doesn’t know you.”

“If I tell her my name, then she will know me,” he says.

She doesn’t deserve you.

“If we see her again,” I tell him, knowing full well we won’t. Everyone suspects Liam is Noah’s father, but Josie has never come out and told anyone. Only a handful of us know the truth, and we’ll take it to our graves if that is what Josie wants from us. She knows the truth will eventually come out, but until that day, we say nothing.

Noah and I finish our shopping trip without any further interruptions from Bianca and head to the check-out. Thankfully, Liam isn’t making any headlines this week, so I don’t have to see his mug on any magazine covers. Noah asks for the current issue of Sports Illustrated, and I hand it to him while we wait in line. He flips through it, pointing out different players from various sports, and I remember the time his father was on the cover. What a freaking honor that was, and then he threw it all away. I guess now, he doesn’t really care because he’s a big-time superstar, selling out arenas across the country. When it’s our turn, Noah puts everything on the conveyor belt and stands in the cart. I remind him to hold on, just in case, but he pretends to surf. The clerk laughs and hands Noah a sticker. He’s already schmoozing the ladies.

Back at home, Katelyn greets us outside. Noah runs up to her and puts his hands on her belly. “Hi, babies. I can’t wait to meet you.” He does this all the time. If he’s not talking to Katelyn’s stomach, he’s reading to it. Only Baby A responds, though. I have a feeling they’ll have a special bond.

I kiss Katelyn and then say hi to my babies. I’m counting down the days until they’re here. I want to hold them and tell them all about their mom and me. I want boys. Katelyn just wants them out of her. She’s not even in her third trimester, and she’s ready to be done. I can’t say I blame her.

“Josie has something to tell us.”

“Yeah, Noah said she has a secret.”

Katelyn nods. “Nick doesn’t even know.”

Lovely. I don’t know why, but dread washes over me.

Inside, Josie and Nick are in the kitchen. I glare at him when he takes the bags from my hands. He probably thinks it’s because I had to go to the store when in reality it’s because we ran into Bianca, which I’ll tell him about later.

“We need to take a ride,” Josie says after everything is unloaded.

“I can’t leave,” Nick says. “The coals are heating up.”

Josie kisses him and smiles. “John is going to watch them. We won’t be gone long.” John is her neighbor. He’s an older man, who lives alone, and treats us all like we’re his family.

When we get outside, John is walking up the driveway. “We won’t be gone long.” Josie kisses him on the cheek, and then we pile into Nick’s SUV. Josie tells Nick to drive down to Main Street and park. With all my thoughts about Liam today, something tells me she took out a giant billboard chastising him or something. But even that thought is so far-fetched I feel ridiculous even thinking it.

Once we’re downtown, the four of us follow Josie until she stops in front of a large picture window.

“Why are we in front of Baker’s?” I ask. Baker’s used to be a toy store but closed a few years ago. The space has sat empty since.

“This is Whimsicality,” she says, holding her arms out.

“No, sweetie. This is Baker’s,” Katelyn points out, but Josie isn’t listening. She dangles a key in front of us.

“What’s this?” Nick asks.

Josie looks at Noah and nods. “Mommy bought this place, and we are going to open a flower shop!” He screams while he jumps up and down.

Whimsicality is a dream Josie never knew she had until it fell into her lap. Months ago, she walked by the old toy store and saw a for sale sign in the window. She dialed the number and saw the place within an hour. Noah had been with her that day, and it surprised us all that he kept this a secret. Josie borrowed money from her dad to use for the down payment on her own floral business. As one of her best friends, I couldn’t be prouder of her. She’s living her dream on her own terms.

Each time I walk by Katelyn, I kiss her or her belly. The twins have weeks left to cook, and then they’ll be here. Josie wanted to make sure her shop was open and ready for business before the twins’ arrival so she could be the one putting Katelyn’s congratulatory bouquets together. Personally, I think that’s rather cute.

Over the past few months, Nick, Josie, and I have remodeled and upgraded the shop into what Josie needs this place to be. I’ve learned more about cooler temperatures for flowers, plant food, and what trimmings are. I also discovered that Josie likes to keep a stash of beer in one of her coolers. Oh, and scissors are really, really sharp, but nothing a couple of stitches couldn’t take care of.

“Babe, I think we’re done,” Nick calls out as he stands back from the window.

“And there are people outside who want to come in,” I add.

“I’m not ready,” Josie says as she stands in the doorway that separates the store area from the back workroom.

“Well, I am,” Katelyn says as she stands up. It’s with a herculean effort that she can do it by herself because her belly looks like it’s about to explode. She waddles to the front, flips the sign from closed to open, and opens the door. Thankfully, the older ladies who were waiting outside were kind enough to wait a bit longer to give Katelyn time to move away from the door.

Katelyn says, “Welcome to Whimsicality. We have fresh flowers daily. And we deliver all over the Beaumont area. We can customize whatever it is that you need for your loved one.” Katelyn sits back down and sighs. She will work for Josie on the weekends and fill in when she can after the babies arrive. Josie has already hired someone to do her deliveries and is looking for another full-time person to come on board.

All day, people come into the shop. Nick and I are busy cleaning up and making sure the women have what they need. Neither of us can tie a ribbon or put two flowers together, but we can move buckets, carry things to cars, and use a cash register.

By the end of the first day, we’re exhausted, and I, for one, am thankful Josie keeps beer in her cooler. The three of us open some bottles and make a toast. Besides the fact that Katelyn is uncomfortable, she’s happy and hugging her best friend.

“I’m going to have a lot of fun working here,” she tells Josie.

“Thank you for being my rock,” she says as she looks from Katelyn to me. “For being my solid foundation when I crumbled.”

Katelyn and I surround Josie in a group hug. After a bit, I invite Nick in. He may not have been there from the beginning, but he’s here now, and Josie is in love with him.

“I really couldn’t have done any of this without the three of you,” Josie says. “I had no idea that a part-time job would turn into me owning my own business, but here I am. My name may not be on the window, but this is my store. I created it with hard work and determination. And a little help from my grandpa.”

“To grandpa,” I say as I hold my bottle of beer up. We clink and drink.

After we help tidy up and restock some items for tomorrow, I take Katelyn home. She’s exhausted, and her feet are swollen. My mom meets us at the door and directs Katelyn to the recliner, where Katelyn can relax.

“Are you hungry?”

Katelyn nods, and my mom disappears into the kitchen. Katelyn is having a hard time eating as of late. She’s out of room, and most foods give her heartburn. My mom has taken to making Katelyn her own food. It’s bland. So very bland. I don’t know how she can eat it, but she does.

I make myself a plate of food and join my wife in the living room. My parents sit with us and ask how opening day went.

“Beautifully,” Katelyn says. “Josie did so well. The shop is going to be a big hit.”

“I placed my first order today,” I say as I wink at Katelyn.

She shakes her head. “Do I even want to know what you’ve done?”

I shrug. “You’ll find out on Monday and every Monday after that.” When I saw the word recurring on Josie’s order form, I added a checkmark to it. My wife needs to be treated like a princess, and if that means getting roses every Monday to start her week, so be it.

Life is going great. So, I don’t understand why people have to mess it up. I’m harsh with my thoughts, but it’s how I feel as I pull into Ralph’s Bar. I park, go inside, and wave at the owner. He points to the end of the bar where Nick sits. Ralph sets a beer down in front of the empty barstool and shakes his head.

Now, when I say life is going great. I mean it. Next week, my twins are coming unless Katelyn’s water breaks before then. Work is going really well. Noah is thriving. Katelyn and I are halfway to a down payment on a house, even though we actually enjoy living with my parents. Whimsicality is flourishing. There isn’t a day when the shop isn’t busy. I’ve begged her to hire an assistant manager or at least train her part-timer to do some of the managerial duties, but she is adamant she can do it all. And Nick . . . well he just dropped a major bomb that no one was ready for, and it exploded in his face.

Which is how I find myself in the bar, next to my friend. Earlier in the evening, during a candlelight dinner, Nick proposed to Josie, and she turned him down. He left the restaurant, which is understandable, and Josie called Katelyn to tell her everything.

I sit down and take a drink of the pint in front of me. I inhale and exhale a few times, waiting for Nick to say something, but he doesn’t. He only stares at the countertop.

“Do you want to talk?”

He shakes his head. I figured as much. We sit there in silence, and Ralph places fresh pints down each time one becomes empty. I stop Ralph after two because I need to drive home and have my wits about me if Katelyn goes into labor.

“Do you want me to take you home?”

Nick shakes his head. “I don’t have a home anymore.”

I sigh. “You do, man. Josie loves you. She just doesn’t want to get married right now. You have to remember, she’s been through a lot, and regardless of the time that’s passed, it still plays in the back of her mind. Give her another year and then ask her or make it a mutual decision. I don’t know much, but I do know she’s in love with you and wants you to come home.”

“I hate him for what he’s done to her.”

“We all do, but if we dwell on that, we’re never going to get anywhere in life. He doesn’t deserve your thoughts.”

“He’s always in hers.”

“That’s because her son looks just like him. Every day, she wakes up and sees her past, and there isn’t anything she can do about it except live. And living is what she’s doing, with you. Remember, she chose you.” I pat Nick on the back and coax him off the barstool. He’s drunk, and I’m thankful Josie called and asked me to find him. I get him settled into my truck and drive him home.

Josie comes outside when she sees my lights flash through the living room window. She’s at the passenger side door before I can even get out.

“Nick, baby. Come home to me,” she says as she unbuckles him. “Come on, let’s get you to bed.”

I help Nick into the house and leave Josie to tend to him. I stop by Noah’s room, knock and go inside. He’s asleep, sprawled out on his bed. I stand there for a minute, watching him. “I love you, little man.”

Forty-One

“I hate you. Oh God, I hate you so much.”

Definitely not the words you want to hear from your wife as she’s giving birth to your children, but understandable, especially since I’ve told anyone who listens that I knocked her up good. Apparently, while she’s in labor is not the time to brag. I know deep down she doesn’t mean anything she says to me unless she’s professing her undying love and admiration. Dr. Maye told us that Katelyn will experience different waves of emotions and because I’m her partner, I’m going to get the brunt of everything.

I say, bring it.

If saying that she hates me helps her through labor, I’m here for it. If she wants to squeeze, bite, and pinch my hand or arm to help her get through her contractions, bring it on. I am her life-sized punching bag. Besides, I did do this to her, although I can’t take all the credit. It’s not my fault her egg split, and my sperm was greedy.

Josie’s on the other side of Katelyn, doing the same thing she did for her during Noah’s birth—feeding Katelyn ice chips and keeping sweat out of her eyes. We chose not to go to Lamaze and figured we would remember everything when we went with Josie. But, of course, we forgot everything with the first contraction.

“Okay, sweetie. You’ve got a big one coming.”

“That’s what she said,” I mutter, thinking no one can hear me.

“Get out,” Katelyn yells. Only her yell turns into an agonizing scream, and she digs her fingers into my flesh.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper as she comes down from the contraction.

“You should be. This is your fault,” she says between breaths. “Stop being an ass.”

“Okay.” I should probably grow up and not crack jokes at my wife’s expense, especially today.

When we arrived two hours ago, the nursing staff wasted no time getting Katelyn hooked up to the machines and started her on labor-inducing drugs. Dr. Maye comes in and asks how Katelyn’s doing. I expect her to tell her exactly how she feels, but Katelyn says, “fine.”

Fine?

Really?

Five minutes ago she hated me, but now she’s fine.

Dr. Maye checks Katelyn and looks at a printout from the nurse. I remember all of this from when Josie gave birth to Noah, so nothing seems amiss.

“Katelyn, honey, are you ready?”

“Ready?” I question. “She’s only been doing this labor thing for a couple of hours.”

Every woman in the room looks at me like I have two heads. I slowly slink back and shut my mouth. It’s probably best that I don’t say anything unless someone speaks to me.

“It’s time?” Katelyn asks.

“It is. These babies are ready to meet their mommy and daddy.”

Katelyn looks at me with tears in her eyes. This is my cue. I lean toward her and look into her eyes. “You can do this.” I help her sit up. “I’m here and not going anywhere. You can hit me, bite me, and pinch me. I don’t care because I’ve got you. It’s even okay to tell me you hate me because deep down, I know you don’t. When this is all over, we’ll have two boys or girls. We’ll get to hold them, love them, and they’ll be ours.”

“Okay,” she says. I take this opportunity and kiss her.

“Katelyn, on your next contraction, you’re going to push. Baby A is ready to meet you.”

Josie and I help Katelyn through her contractions. Unfortunately, each one seems worse than the previous one, but Dr. Maye says she’s progressing nicely. There are two incubators in the room and twice the staff Josie had. I suppose each baby needs their personal attendants, but the more people who come in, the more worried I become. I try to focus on Katelyn, but seeing these extra machines starts to scare me.

“You okay, Dad?” Dr. Maye asks.

“Mase,” Josie snaps her fingers in front of me.

“What?”

“How’s it going over there, Mason. Do you need a chair?” the doctor asks.

“No, I’m good.”

“Remember what we talked about at our last appointment. The twins are early, their lungs will need some attention, and they’re going to be tiny.”

“Right, yeah, I remember.” I glance at Katelyn and smile, hoping to reassure her everything is okay.

“All right, Katelyn. One big push here.”

Katelyn grunts through her contraction, and Dr. Maye announces that the baby’s head is out. I’m tempted to look, but Katelyn begs me not to.

“Give me one more.”

Katelyn bears down, and within seconds there’s a baby on her belly. “It’s a girl,” rings out over the room, and I stand there, shocked.

Holy shit, I have a daughter. No, I have two daughters.

“Why isn’t she crying?” As soon as Katelyn asks, the tiny baby screams out.

“Dad, do you want to cut her cord?” One of the nurses hands me a pair of scissors and shows me where to cut. Then they whisk her off to the other side of the room where a team takes care of her.

“Wait, I want to see her,” Katelyn cries out but is quickly overtaken by another contraction.

“Let’s get Baby B here, and then you can hold your girls. I promise. Give me another big push.”

In under five minutes, Baby B joins the world, screaming like a banshee. I cut her cord, and then she goes with her own team. Already, the twins are different. Baby A is calm and only slightly bothered by being birthed but Baby B wants to show us just how powerful her still-developing lungs are. The staff works to clean Katelyn up, but she’s focused on the group of nurses tending to her babies.

“Josie, can you check on my babies?” Katelyn tearfully asks Josie, who nods and turns toward the newborns. Katelyn looks at me with tears streaming down her face, and I hold her the best I can.

“Everything is fine.”

“How do you know?”

“Because you did everything right.” I pull back and look at my wife. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For being my wife and giving me two daughters. I never thought my life could feel so full, but right now, I’m beyond happy, and it’s because of you.”

Josie comes back over and grabs Katelyn’s hand. “They’re perfect, Katelyn. They’re tiny but mighty. Baby A has her eyes open, and she’s just looking around. Baby B is the one you hear crying. The nurses are almost done with the tests, and then they’ll bring the girls over to you.”

Katelyn nods and cries some more. “I’m sorry they’re not boys. Now Noah doesn’t have anyone to play with.”

“Nonsense,” Josie says. “Now he has two precious little girls to protect. He’s never going to let anything happen to them.”

Another nurse comes in and helps Katelyn prepare to hold the babies. She says the sooner Katelyn can feed them, the better. My wife wants to breastfeed, but I had hoped we would bottle feed because it’s something I want to do as well. Every woman I know gave me the lecture about nutrients and all that, but my counterargument was the same—it’s not fair to dads who want to feed and bond with their children. The compromise is for Katelyn to start pumping in a few weeks.

Finally, two nurses bring the girls to us. Baby A goes on Katelyn’s left, while Baby B is on her right. To say I’m jealous is an understatement. I want to hold one. I want to count their fingers and toes and see every inch of them to make sure they’re okay. I shouldn’t be jealous of my wife, but I am. I climb onto her bed as best as I can and wrap my arm around her shoulder. I can see Baby A clearly, but Baby B is somewhat hidden. It’s right now that I realize jealousy is stupid. Katelyn did all the work. She earned this.

“I’m going to give you guys some alone time,” Josie says. She kisses Katelyn’s forehead and then kisses both babies. “I love you so much,” she says to the twins.

“Mason, look at what we created.”

“They’re beautiful, Katelyn. I’m so damn lucky.”

“Help me take these blankets off. I want to look at my babies.”

Thank God!

I take Baby B and set her on the bed below Katelyn’s feet and unwrap her. She starts to scream, clearly not a fan of being cold. I count her fingers, toes and give her a good look before showing her to her mommy.

“Baby B is perfect,” I say. After I get her wrapped up, I realize she fits along my arm perfectly. “Will you look at that? I have two footballs.”

Katelyn snorts. “Just don’t throw our babies.”

“I would never.”

We look over Baby A and deem her as perfect as her sister. Katelyn scoots over so I can sit next to her. I slide onto her bed, and we set the twins next to each other, with Baby B on my leg and Baby A on Katelyn’s. “My God, Mason. They’re perfect.”

“They truly are.”

“They need names,” she says.

“You already know my choice.”

Katelyn rolls her eyes. “But for girls?”

I shrug. “Why not?”

It takes a minute, but Katelyn nods, and just like that, our girls have names.

After Katelyn nurses the girls, she tells me that people can come in and meet them. When I go out into the waiting room, much like I did with Noah, people are waiting. My mom looks at me eagerly and grabs the front of my gown.

“Well?”

I look at Josie, who sits in the corner reading a magazine. “You didn’t tell them?

She flips through the magazine. “Not my news to tell.”

“I’ve never liked that girl,” my mom says, to which everyone laughs.

“We have two very tiny but very healthy baby girls.”

My mom’s hands go up in the air, and then she covers her face. There are instant tears in her eyes. My dad hugs me, Nick shakes my hand, and Noah asks when he can meet the babies.

“Right now, bud. Aunt Katelyn is waiting for you.”

My parents and Noah head toward Katelyn’s room, but I wait to talk with Josie. “Did you call them?”

She nods. “I did. They know she gave birth.”

I look down the hall, hoping to see her parents coming, but it’s just staff. “Well, it’s their choice.”

Katelyn holds both babies in her arms, and once everyone is in the room, we introduce them. “Everyone, we’d like to introduce you to Peyton and Elle, also known as Baby A and Baby B.”

My mom takes a step forward and then stops until Katelyn nods. “You can hold them.” Mom goes to the chair, and I bring Peyton over first, and then Elle.

“They’re so tiny. Oh, Michael, look at our grandchildren.” My dad goes to my mom’s side and kneels next to her. They coo over the girls, make faces, and kiss them. When they’re done, it’s Aunt Josie’s turn.

“Does this make you want another one?”

Josie ignores Katelyn’s question and makes gaga noises at the girls. I chance a look at Nick, but he seems oblivious and focused on the twins. Finally, Noah gets a chance to hold the girls. Josie gets him set up in the chair with some extra pillows, and she shows him how to hold them.

“Just like cradling a football,” I tell him.

Elle starts fussing as soon as both girls are in his arms, and Josie brings her back to Katelyn. Still, Peyton seems content to listen to Noah talk about all the things they’re going to do, from collecting baseball cards to throwing the football and how he’s going to teach her to do the underdog on the swings.

“But no matter what, I’ll always have your back,” he says. “I’ll protect you forever.”

Three days later and we’re heading home. My parents let me borrow their car because I can’t fit my family in my truck, and Katelyn’s car is too compact for me. The entire drive home, I go twenty under the speed limit, and my wife complains the whole time because she wants to get home. As perfect as my girls are, Elle likes to exercise her lungs, and she doesn’t care who it bothers. I turn the radio up to see if I can drown her out, but she screams louder. Katelyn slaps my hand and tells me to pull over and somehow manages to crawl into the backseat so she can sit between them.

When we get to my parents, banners and balloons decorate the front yard, announcing the girls' arrival. Everything is pink. When I open the backdoor to take Peyton out, my mom is there, taking her from me, and on the other side of the car, Josie grabs Elle. I appreciate the help because I know Katelyn is exhausted. I think nurses have a favorite saying: get some rest. But they don’t actually mean it because every two hours they come into your room to check on you or the babies, and there is no way you can sleep through their poking and prodding. If I need a nap, I know my wife does.

Inside, my dad and the Prestons wait for us. My dad hands me a cup of coffee. As much as I’d rather have a beer, coffee will serve me better in the long run. My mom hands Peyton off to Josie’s mom and then helps Katelyn go up the stairs.

“Do you need my help?”

“I’ve got this, Mason. Go visit with your dad,” my mom says.

“I can’t believe all the stuff in the living room,” I say as I enter the kitchen. The table has different trays of food ready to be eaten.

“That’s all the stuff from Katelyn’s baby shower. There’s more in the basement,” dad says. “Anything pink, your mother went out and bought the other day.”

“You guys already do so much for Katelyn and me. I can buy the twins what they need.”

My dad waves me off. “Nonsense. Your mom is having the time of her life, and the girls are only a few days old. I don’t even want to see what Christmas is going to be like this year.”

We’re home for an hour when there’s a knock at the door. I open it and find Katelyn’s parents on the other side, holding four large gift bags. “What are you doing here?”

Mrs. Cohen doesn’t make eye contact with me, but Mr. Cohen does. He clears his throat and says, “We understand if you don’t want us to meet your children.” He sets his bags down and nods for Mrs. Cohen to do the same. I shake my head. All I can think about is how Noah doesn’t know Sterling and Bianca, and I don’t want that for my girls.

“Would you like to meet them?”

Mrs. Cohen nods. The fact that she’s so eager to meet them but couldn’t give Katelyn two seconds during her pregnancy drives me mad. I step aside and invite them in, just as Katelyn comes down the stairs. I tell Katelyn why her parents are here so she doesn’t have to ask them herself.

Katelyn inhales as she looks at her parents. “I’ll let you meet the girls, but one negative comment, and you’re done. Am I clear?” She directs her question at her mother, and it makes me want to laugh. Katelyn’s already ten times the mother than she had growing up.

They follow Katelyn into the living room. Josie and her mom are holding the girls up so that everyone can see them. “This is Peyton,” Katelyn says as she touches our daughter’s hand. “And this is Elle.” She goes to Elle and strokes her cheek. “They’re five minutes apart.”

“And you went early?” Mrs. Cohen asks.

Katelyn nods. “But their lungs are strong, and they passed all their tests. Nick is their pediatrician, and he doesn’t live far if there is something wrong.” Katelyn looks over at Nick and smiles.

“Can we hold them?”

I want to say no, to remind them that I’m the twins’ father, and since they disapprove of me, they shouldn’t hold my children. Instead, I stand there and let Katelyn handle her parents, and when she needs to cry on my shoulder tonight, I’ll be there to hold her.

The Cohens sit on the couch and take turns holding the girls. They socialize with my parents and the Prestons, and act like we’re one big family unit. Katelyn comes over to me and wraps her arms around my waist. She should be resting, but she’s playing hostess instead.

I kiss her forehead and hold her close to me. “Are you tired?”

She nods.

“Why don’t you go upstairs and rest. Everyone will understand.”

Her head turns, and I know she’s looking at her mother, seeking some sort of approval or looking for the chastising that usually comes.

“Go,” I tell her. “I’ll take care of the girls.”

“They’ll need to eat soon.”

I glance down at my watch. They should have at least an hour. “We’ll come up and get you when it’s time. Right now, they’re being loved and sleeping. Go rest.”

Katelyn finally listens to me and climbs the stairs slowly. Once she’s out of sight, I go back to watching everything in the living room.

In the end, Katelyn sleeps for two hours. When Elle cries, Katelyn’s mother is there to soothe her. Unfortunately, the Cohens are still here, and my parents have invited them to stay for dinner.

Such joy.

After dinner, people start to leave. Josie promises to come by in the morning, and Nick says to call him if anything is wrong with the girls. I’m not going to lie; having him so close puts me at ease. The girls are small, tiny enough for me to carry both in one arm. I know I’m a big dude, but they scare me. They’re fragile and precious. I don’t want to hurt them. Nick assures me I’m doing just fine with them.

When the Cohens leave, I breathe a sigh of relief. I keep my thoughts to myself because Katelyn doesn’t need to know how I feel about them. I try to think of Noah and how he doesn’t know Liam’s parents—it’s not fair.

Katelyn settles in the recliner with Elle, and I relax on the couch with Peyton. I have my shirt off, and she’s only wearing a diaper. I read that this type of bonding is essential, especially since I can’t feed them right now. I keep a light blanket over her back even though her body temperature feels normal. I thought the girls showed me a new level of love when they were born but holding Peyton like this gives love a whole new definition. Katelyn hands Elle to me while she goes to use the bathroom. I undress Elle and lay her next to her sister. They gravitate toward each other, showing me that they’ll have an unbreakable bond their entire lives.

Elle fuses. I rub my hand down her back and tell her everything will be okay. “Everything will always be okay because I’ve got you, and so does your mommy. She’s never going to let you down. She’s pretty extraordinary. You girls are lucky to have her. I can’t wait to take you to school with me. All the teachers are excited to meet you and so are the kids from the football team. They’re all your big brothers, and that’s all they’ll ever be—big brothers—because you don’t want to date someone who plays football. Boys are stinky, and football players are the worst. But football is my favorite sport, and you’re going to grow up around it, so I hope you learn about the game. I don’t know how I feel about you girls playing football, but maybe I can change my mind if one of you wants to play. I guess we’ll see when the time comes.”

Katelyn returns and crawls next to me. “I heard everything you said to them. You know, we could try for a boy in a couple of years.”

I glance down at their dark hair and shake my head. “We’ll see.”

Forty-Two

For the past few months, all I’ve heard is, “I can’t wait for the girls’ first Christmas.” My mom, Katelyn, and Josie have gone on and on about how special this Christmas is going to be . . . that is until now. Now that the tree is up and there are presents under the tree, all I hear is, “No, Elle,” and “No, Peyton.”

No.

No.

No.

This word is said so much. The girls crawl around saying it. Not mama or dada. My precious, sweet angels say no. I’m beyond thrilled, of course. I mean, who wouldn’t be. Every baby's first words should be no.

“Do you love daddy?”

“No”

“Do you love mommy?”

“No”

However, if I ask either of them if they’re cute, they also say no. So, it’s a win-win in some abstract way, I suppose.

Noah thinks it’s funny. Nick says the girls are advanced for their age. Katelyn is beside herself, thinking she’s failed as a parent. If she’s failed, then I definitely have. And my parents stand in the corner and giggle, muttering something about payback.

Katelyn comes into the living room. I mute the television and wait for her to set the girls down. Peyton’s arms reach for me while Elle clings to her mom. The girls definitely have their favorites. It’s like one girl for each of us.

Peyton stands on my legs, bouncing up and down while drooling buckets, and making the cutest baby sounds. Her tiny hands are on my cheeks, and she keeps trying to bite me. Every time I move away from her shark teeth, she squeals and takes this as a challenge. Teething is fun.

“Can you take Elle? I’m going to be late.” It’s Saturday, Katelyn’s day at Whimsicality. She’s not really going to be late because Josie hasn’t dropped Noah off yet, but Katelyn worries a lot when it comes to helping Josie out. The shop is busy. It doesn’t matter if nothing is going on in town or if the holidays are over, people come in and buy. Josie was so smart for opening when she did.

Without trying to interrupt Peyton’s playtime on Daddy, I reach for Elle. Once I have her in my hands, she starts to whine until I fly her through the air. The girls are like night and day. Peyton is happy all the time, talks to anyone who wants to listen to her gibberish, and is happy to be held by anyone. Elle is moody, only wants to talk to her mommy and sometimes her daddy, but doesn’t want anyone to hold her. However, wherever Peyton is, Elle wants to be, but only on her terms.

With Elle sitting on one leg, I adjust Peyton to the other. I don’t make her stop the assault on my face. It makes her happy, and believe me when I say this, there is nothing better than baby giggles. I turn the television volume up and flip the channel to Sesame Street. This gets Peyton’s attention. She doesn’t sit, though. Instead, she leans into me and keeps her hand on my cheek. Elle fusses because she doesn’t like the Cookie Monster, and Peyton grunts at her. This seems to be their thing. If Elle isn’t happy, Peyton isn’t happy with Elle, and she lets her sister know about it. Peyton gives Elle a wicked side-eye when she cries unless Peyton thinks her sister needs something and she soothes her. The twin thing is freaky. I don’t understand it and I know I’m not meant to.

During a commercial break, I set them down in their playpen, much to Elle’s disapproval. Peyton agrees with her this time and cries out even though I’ve told them I’ll be right back with breakfast, but they don’t care. In the kitchen, I pour Cheerios into two bowls, fix their juice bottles, and grab a couple of bananas that we’ll share. Since they started eating solids, we share everything they’re allowed to eat.

“Okay, Daddy’s back,” I say when I get back to the living room. I roll out their playmat and set their breakfast down. Katelyn doesn’t like it when I do this, but it’s Saturday, and not everything needs to be so structured. Sometimes, the girls need a little freedom, and if that means we eat breakfast on the floor while watching cartoons one day a week, so be it.

The front door opens, and Noah walks in. “Morning,” he says as he takes his coat off and goes right to the babies. With him here, I catch Katelyn before she heads out the door. I kiss her goodbye and rush off to use the bathroom. Noah is amazing with the girls especially given their five-year age difference. I didn’t think he’d really bother with them or find them a nuisance, but it’s the opposite, and the girls love him. He lets them climb all over him, pull his hair, steal his food, and do whatever they want. The best part, in an hour or so when it’s time to take a nap, he’ll lie down, and they’ll lay on top of him.

“Did you eat, bud?” I ask when I get back to the living room.

“Nah, mom overslept.”

I head back to the kitchen and make Noah’s breakfast. It’s similar to the twins’, but his cereal will have milk. When I get back to the living room, he has them on their playmat, playing with cars.

“All right, let’s eat.” I sit down and put a bowl of Cheerios in front of each girl and open my banana. After one bite, both girls are heading in my direction to get theirs. Peyton crawls toward me with cereal in her hand. She sits back on her knees and opens her little hand to show me her offering. I take it and then give her a small piece of the fruit. The girls like to try and bite off their own piece, but they haven’t figured out that they can get a piece if they bite hard enough, like when they bite us. It’s an ongoing battle of telling them not to bite but then encouraging it. It must be so confusing to be a baby.

After breakfast, with Noah here to watch the girls, it gives me time to clean up, take one at a time to get a diaper change, and make sure their hands and face are clean. Then I make their bottles because it’s almost naptime.

With their bottles in hand, I sit down on the couch and wait. Elle uses Noah as a jungle gym to get to me. When she settles in the crook of my arm, I lay her blanket over her. Peyton’s too busy to care about naptime, although I can see the tiredness creeping in. If Noah moves her toys, she fusses at him and starts rubbing her eyes. She’d rather play, at least with Noah, than take a nap.

“Bud, do you want to sit on the couch with her?”

He nods, scoops Peyton up, even though she doesn’t want him to, and sets her on the couch. He then situates himself so Peyton can’t roll off. I hand him her bottle, but she intercepts it and sticks it in her mouth. She sits there for a minute or two, watching TV and drinking before she finally lays down, using Noah’s leg as a pillow. He doesn’t seem to care.

I flip the channel to football, and now it’s a guy’s morning. We have a full day of watching games, eating junk food, and playing with the girls. When Notre Dame’s coach comes on the screen, Noah perks up.

“He’s going to be my coach.”

“You’re only six, bud. You have a long time to figure out where you want to go.”

“I know, but Holtz wins a lot of games.”

“Beaumont wins a lot of games. Are you going to play for me?”

Noah nods. “Starting QB all four years.”

Just like your dad.

Noah’s a natural when it comes to football, but he’s also very good at baseball. Last year, Nick gave him a mitt and taught him how to throw. Within weeks, he fired a fastball into Nick’s glove. Noah has his mother’s grace and his father’s talent. And honestly, it scares us all. We see a lot of Liam in him, and while we don’t want to discourage him in any way, there’s a nagging voice in our heads telling us to steer him in any direction other than the path his dad took. It’s only a matter of time when someone brings Liam Westbury up to Noah, and it’s a day, I fear. I’ve begged Josie to tell Noah about Liam, but she won’t. She thinks no one knows he’s Liam’s son, and I say that everyone does. When the truth comes out, if it’s not from Josie, Noah will resent her, and that’s the last thing I want to happen to either of them.

At some point in the middle of the night, the girls end up in our bed. I don’t remember them crying or Katelyn going to get them. But here they are, and here we are with feet in our face and barely any room. I don’t know how two pint-sized humans can take up so much space.

I yawn, stretch, and when I open my eyes, my wife is staring at me. I roll onto my side and tuck my arm under my pillow. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas,” she says and then yawns.

“What time did they get up?”

“Three hours ago. Elle had a bad dream, and when I went to get her, Peyton was glaring at her. So, I brought them both in here.”

“She probably dreamed that Santa didn’t bring her anything because of her sunny disposition on life.”

Katelyn laughs. In a sense, it is funny that Elle acts like she hates life, but her attitude scares me. I don’t know if I’m prepared for a teenage Elle. Or even a preteen one.

I scoot over, trying to get as close to Katelyn as I can. She does the same and reaches for my hand. “This is the first Christmas since we’ve been together that we haven’t exchanged presents. I’m not sure how I feel about this.”

“I know, but money’s tight, and I want to make sure the girls have a good Christmas.”

“They won’t remember this one. It’s more for us than them. Their grandparents spoil them. Who is going to spoil you?”

“You do, every day, with how much you love me.” Katelyn rises onto her arm, leans over, and kisses me. I’d love to deepen this and make love to my wife on Christmas morning, but these munchkins make it impossible sometimes. Katelyn and I are back to sneaking around and having sex wherever we can. We’ve mastered the art of being quick and quiet, and we rejoice when my parents volunteer to take the girls to the store. And like usual, my mom gives me a warning shot about unprotected sex, reminding me that Katelyn and I don’t need any more babies right now. Not that Katelyn is even thinking of getting pregnant. I honestly think she’s content with the twins and also fearful we’d have another set.

“What do you think about taking the girls to Disney for their sixth birthday?”

“I don’t like rides. You know this,” Katelyn says.

“I know, but they’ll be kiddie rides. Nothing scary, I promise.”

Katelyn looks at the girls and nods. “I think they’d like that.”

“It’ll be our first family vacation. The four of us, in the land of magic.”

“As long as the Cookie Monster isn’t there.” Katelyn laughs. “I can’t imagine what kind of tantrum Elle would throw.”

“She’s going to be a handful.”

“Going to be?” Katelyn pops her eyebrow. “She scares me, Mason. She’s me on my worst day times ten.”

I laugh, but Katelyn’s right. “She’ll grow out of it.” I have a feeling I’m lying to myself.

The girls start to stir. First, Peyton, who happily takes all the morning kisses and snuggles before her sister wakes up, and then my little miss grumpy pants finally opens her eyes. She molds herself to her mother and ignores the rest of us.

When I tell them Santa came, Peyton claps even though she has no idea who Santa is, and when we took them to the mall, he scared the ever-loving shit out of them. Still, being parents, we did exactly what every parent has done and made sure to get a picture of a very horrified man in a Santa suit, holding two screaming babies. We’re horrible people.

We get out of bed and make our way downstairs. The tree is lit, Christmas music plays, and my parents sit on the couch together, drinking coffee. As soon as my mom sees Peyton, she stands and reaches out to take her granddaughter. She then waits for Elle, who happily goes to her grandma. My mom shows them the tree, much like she’s done over and over again since we put it up. Once Katelyn and I have our coffee and we’ve made the girls their bottles, we gather in the living room.

My dad puts on a Santa hat and hands out one present at a time. At this rate, it will take four hours for us to open all the gifts, but I think that’s the idea. My parents want to prolong the day because we aren’t due at the Prestons’ until later.

Next year, things will be different. Katelyn and I have enough saved to put a down payment on a house. We’ve found a few that we’ll go and see tomorrow and hopefully move into our own place in a few months. The thought of leaving my parents’ place makes me sad, but I like the idea of finally living with my wife without any other adults around. It’s weird to think that we’ve never actually lived with just each other after all these years.

Forty-Three

The directions on the box seem easy enough. Two cups of the pancake mix, add some milk and a couple of eggs, and then turn on . . . and silently curse. Spitting out the powdery substance coating my face, I take in the mess on the cupboard in front of me, and the counter and set the mixer aside. I blame my thumb for moving the red speed dial to five when I meant for it to stay on one.

Behind me, laughter rings out. I turn and find the three loves of my life standing behind me. The twins are giggling with my beautiful and sexy wife, Katelyn, right in the middle. She’s dressed in dark jeans and a baggy sweatshirt, while Peyton and Elle wear matching dresses, just in different colors. Peyton doesn’t have a preference, but Elle. . . if it’s not pink, she’s not wearing it.

“Daddy, dirty,” Peyton says as she points at me. She’s right. Although I can’t see myself, I can feel the wet, pasty batter sticking to my skin.

“You made a mess!” Elle exclaims loudly, just in case her sister and mother hadn’t put the scene in front of them together.

“What happened?” Katelyn asks. She seems concerned but does not attempt to come toward me and offer me any aid whatsoever.

“My thumb slipped on the mixer.”

Katelyn covers her laugh, but not until after she snorts. She makes cooking look so easy and seamless; I don’t get it. We both took home economics. I passed the class and didn’t even cheat or have her do my homework for me. So, why is cooking so difficult for me?

My wife sets the girls down at the table and then comes over to me. She gently moves me away from the mess I created and tells me to go clean up. When I get to the bathroom, I have to traverse through bath toys and step stools until I can get to the sink to wash my face. It takes a couple of good washings until I’ve removed all the batter. I even found some behind my ear, which doesn’t make sense. How does the batter manage to get everywhere?

Back in the kitchen, the girls are eating cereal, something I wanted to avoid on their first day of preschool, hence attempting to make pancakes to make it a little special. I kiss Katelyn on the cheek and thank her for cleaning up my mess, and then I go to sit with the girls. I’m not excited about today, and that’s probably why I malfunctioned when it came to making them pancakes.

I have a lot of apprehensions about them going to school. First, they’re only three, and while advanced for their age (because hello, their mother is perfect), I think they’re too young. Second, as Peyton puts it, they’re going to big kid school, meaning they’ll be in the same building as kids that are five to seven years older than them. I don’t worry about the younger kids because I think Elle can handle them. Granted, the school keeps the little tykes away from the bigger kids, but I remember asking to use the “bathroom” only to end up wandering the halls. As long as you have the magic bathroom pass, teachers never take a second look at you. Third, they’re my babies, and while it makes financial sense for them to go to school because this allows Katelyn to pick up more hours at the bank, I don’t like it. I’d rather eat spaghetti every day for weeks on end than have them at school right now. And fourth, I feel like if they start school, then they’re going up too fast. I’m not ready for them not to need me.

Katelyn argues that we need the extra money. When we bought this house, right after the girls’ first Christmas, it was with the idea that we’d expand. The only “construction” I’ve done on this place is down in the basement. When we moved in, it was concrete walls and floorings. With my dad’s help, we’ve added insulation and walls and installed new flooring. We ran electricity and plumbing, which gave us a laundry room, and then I converted a portion of the downstairs space into what I call the “Doghouse.” It’s where I go when Katelyn’s had enough of me. She wasn’t impressed when I actually made the wall look like the outside of a doghouse, but I thought it was funny. This is where Nick, Peyton, and I hang out and watch football.

Peyton’s my little tomboy. She’s going to be the first female NFL coach. I know she’s only three, but she’s a sponge and listens to everything I tell her. Last season, she came to every practice and sat on the bench, barking orders to the boys. The funny thing is, the boys did exactly what she told them, even when it was wrong because they love her. The twins have fifty awesome brothers looking after them.

Elle’s my little spit-fire diva. Long gone is the moody baby and in her place is a sassy toddler. She likes to tell me what I should wear on game days, reminds me that my baseball cap is off-centered, or my shirt is untucked. Everything has to be perfect for her, or she’ll have the mother lode of all meltdowns. It’s hard for me to guess what she’s going to be when she’s older. I see a lot of her mom in her and think Elle will be a cheerleader, but then again, I could see Elle taking over some fortune five hundred company and turning it into an empire.

Whatever my girls decide to do with their lives, they have my support. I don’t care who they marry, what schools they go to—if they choose to go—or what they do. If they’re happy, I’m happy. I will never be like the Cohens. I will never let my kids know or feel like I think they’re making a mistake.

After breakfast, the girls brush their teeth, grab their small backpacks, and head to the car. My throat is tight as I watch them climb into their car seats. I help Elle buckle in while Katelyn assists Peyton. I kiss Katelyn and tell her that I’ll follow behind. Once we drop the girls off, I have to go to work, where I’ll watch the minutes tick by until I know the girls are back with Katelyn. It’s going to be a long day.

The school drop-off line is bananas. It’s wrapped around the block and then some. I don’t remember a single day my mom took me to school or picked me up unless I was sick. We walked, rain or shine. Nowadays, kids don’t have that much freedom. It’s sad really, but I’m also relieved. Not that I’d let the girls walk from our house to school at this age. I’m not sure I’ll ever let them walk.

I meet my family at the car and help get the girls out. I hold Peyton’s hand while Katelyn tries to take Elle’s. She’s not having it—Miss Independent—and crosses her arms over her chest. Katelyn looks at me, and I shrug. I’ve said it before; the twins are night and day when it comes to personalities. Peyton’s outgoing when she’s on the football field with me but can also be reserved. Elle’s a natural-born leader and not afraid to tell you how it is.

We get to their classroom and help the girls find their cubbies. At first, the school wanted to separate the girls and put them with different teachers, but we weren’t comfortable with that. We understand they’re identical, but Peyton always wears her hair in a ponytail or braids while Elle keeps her hair down. To me, that’s enough of a difference until the teacher can tell them apart. Of course, once Elle opens her mouth, and her sass comes out, there will be no mistaking them.

“I gotta get to work,” I tell the three of them. Katelyn plans to stay for the first half-hour because she signed up as a room mother.

Peyton willingly kisses me goodbye, but Elle only offers a hug. I head toward the hallway and find Noah standing in the doorway.

“Hey, bud. Something wrong?”

“No, sir,” he says, shaking his head. “Just making sure the girls are settled.”

I look over my shoulder and spot the girls easily. Peyton’s standing near Katelyn, but Elle is at the sand table, likely rallying kids for a coup later.

“I think Elle will be fine, but Peyton—”

“Don’t worry, Uncle Mason. I’ll look after them just like you’ve looked after me.”

For a brief second, I see baby Noah and me sitting on the couch watching football. He’s grown into such an amazing young man with an incredibly bright future. Nick has done wonders with Noah’s football team, and while Noah’s seven, he not only plays with kids two years older than him, but he’s starting quarterback. It’s scary, sometimes, when I’m on the sidelines watching him. He’s so much like Liam. I fear the same path is laid for him, and we can’t stop any of it from happening. Noah’s hard on himself, much like Sterling was on Liam. We’ve had to talk about throwing our helmet when things don’t go our way or blaming teammates when they drop balls. He’s so determined to be the best and to win. He sometimes forgets what it’s like to be a teammate.

“I know you will, bud.”

“I’ll see you after school.” He waves and then heads down the hall. I wait until I can’t see him and then take one last look in the classroom. Peyton has left Katelyn’s side, but now there’s a little boy there. I swear he’s flirting with my wife. Not that I can blame him. I flirt with her every day.

After practice, Noah and I drive toward Whimsicality. He normally goes home with Nick, but he’s out of town at a conference and won’t be home until later, wherever home might be for him. His relationship with Josie is odd, to say the least. On the surface, they look happy and in love, but they don’t live together, and when he brings up marriage, she shuts him down. Katelyn and I try not to get involved because Josie is family, and Nick and I are good friends, but it’s hard. Nick needs someone to confide in—that’s me, and Josie tells Katelyn everything. The one thing I won’t do is keep secrets from my wife, so we made a pact—we won’t get into the middle of their relationship. But damn, it’s hard not to meddle. I want to ask Josie why she’s stringing him along. If she doesn’t love him enough to marry him, let the guy go. Although, if she did that, Noah would be crushed. As much as it pained me when Noah first called Nick “dad,” I’ve accepted him having that role. They may not share DNA, but Nick is Noah’s dad, through and through.

“Uncle Mason, can I ask you a question?”

“Of course. You know you can ask me anything. What’s up?”

“Can you tell me about my dad?”

Yes. No. But I want to.

“What do you need to know about your dad that you can’t ask him yourself?” I play stupid. It’s the only thing I can do.

Noah shakes his head. “Nick isn’t my real dad.”

This statement has me pulling over. We’re about a block from downtown, where Noah should be having this conversation with his mom.

“Why do you say that?”

“These kids at school were teasing me today, saying I didn’t have a dad, and when I said my dad’s name is Nick, they said he wasn’t my real dad.”

“And you believed them?” I really hate lying to Noah about all of this. I feel like there’s a knife in my heart, and each time I open my mouth to say something, it twists.

Noah shrugs. He looks at me quickly and then turns his gaze elsewhere. “My dad doesn’t live with us, and he never talks about when I was a baby or anything, and when the guys on the playground said he wasn’t my dad, it sort of makes sense.”

Of course, it does.

“Listen, bud. Kids are mean. So, what if your dad doesn’t live with you? He’s there when you need him. Am I right?” Noah nods. “Dads teach their kids how to do things, like throw a football or a baseball, how to mow the lawn and stuff like that. Who taught you all of that stuff?”

“Nick and you.”

“That’s right, so the way I see it, you have two dads, who are freaking amazing, by the way. Which, in my book, is better than having one dad.”

Noah smiles, but he doesn’t look at me until I tap him on the shoulder.

“You’re my best bud, and I don’t like to see you upset. You know I love you, and you know that Nick loves you. So, the next time those guys, who are not your friends, say something like this, tell them you have the best dads in the whole world.”

“Okay.”

I put the truck into drive but don’t release the brake. “What are you going to say to these boys?”

Noah looks at me and says, “I’ve got two dads, which is better than one.”

I hold my hand up for a high-five, and he doesn’t disappoint. Thankfully, the trip to the shop is short because I need air. The door chimes as we open it, and Jenna smiles from behind the counter.

“Hey, guys.”

“Hey, Jenna,” Noah says as he dumps his backpack onto the counter and pulls out his homework.

Jenna Palmer is relatively new to town and applied for Josie’s part-time position. The whole twenty-hour-a-week thing quickly turned into forty and then turned into an assistant manager position. For the first time since Josie opened the shop, she has finally given someone else some authority. I think it has to do with the fact that Jenna fits in with us. It’s like we’ve known her for years even though we just met her.

“Is Josie here?”

Jenna nods. “She’s out back, finishing up an order for a wedding.”

I head to the back and find Josie knee-deep in greenery. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Josie doesn’t take her eyes off the flowers.

“It’s time to tell Noah about Liam.” I keep my voice low so he can’t hear me. Josie freezes and turns slowly to look at me.

“Now’s not the time.”

“There’s never going to be a right time, Josie. People in town are figuring it out more and more each day because Noah looks like him. And those people are saying things to their kids because boys are teasing him, saying he doesn’t have a dad. It’s not fair to Noah. The older he gets, the more he’s in Liam’s shadow. I hate lying to him, Josie. He’s a smart boy, he’s going to figure it out, and it’ll be better coming from you than a stranger.”

She shakes her head. “I’m not—”

“What? Ready to move on? Sorry, but Liam has. He knows he has a kid and didn’t come back. It’s time you accept this and move on.”

“How do you know Liam knows? I went to his house. His parents weren’t going to tell him. They hate me. You’ve seen the way Bianca looks at me or how she stands at the front window and stares into the store. So, how do you know Liam knows?”

I realize I let my words get the best of me, and now I’m stuck. “Because . . . because the Westburys know. I’m sure they told him.”

Josie’s lower lip quivers and I bring her toward me. “I hate that you’re right, Mason. He knows and he never came back.”

I hold her tightly, and when she pulls away, I say, “You’ve got a great man who wants to be a dad to your kid. You should let him. Nick loves you, and he loves Noah. You also have an amazing son who deserves to know that Liam Page is his father.”

“He’ll want to meet him.”

“Maybe. Maybe not. But that’s up to Noah to decide, not you. Not me. He knows Nick isn’t his biological dad and asked me as much today. I don’t want to lie to him anymore, Josie. It’s not fair.”

“I don’t want to talk about this right now.” Josie goes back to work, dismissing me. I take my leave and tell Noah I’ll see him tomorrow and wish Jenna a good evening, and for the first time in a long time, I drive to the water tower. I don’t get out and climb to the top to reminisce about when life was easier. Instead, I think about how Liam is missing out on the most wonderful part of his life, and he doesn’t even care.

Forty-Four

“This is fun,” Peyton says as she taps my shoulders.

Peyton is strapped to my back in some weird contraption while her mom and sister sit on the bleachers. When Peyton found out that I would be coaching Noah’s team this weekend, she said she wanted to coach with me. I thought it was a great idea—her mother—not so much. Katelyn is afraid that her daughter will get trampled. I get the fear, but it’s not something I’d ever let happen, so this fabric carrier thing is a compromise because it’s my job to make all the women in my family happy.

Josie and Nick are away for the weekend. When Nick suggested Josie go with him to his conference, she jumped at the opportunity. I can’t remember the last time she took a day off, let alone a weekend off, but ever since she hired Jenna, Josie’s relaxed a lot. Jenna fits in well with our tight-knit group.

Peyton wiggles her legs, almost like she’s riding a horse, and starts to giggle. “I can’t see,” she says as if I’m supposed to do something about her vantage point.

“Do you want to go sit with Mommy?”

“No, I, the coach.”

I let out an exhale. I think I’ve created a monster when it comes to this girl. She’s my football buddy; the one who wears a matching jersey, who sits down with me and won’t move a muscle until the games are over on Sundays, who screams at the television. The funny thing is, she just yells for the sake of yelling, and I have no idea why she does it. Peyton doesn’t copy me. She picks and chooses her own time to give the guys on the screen her two cents. It makes me think she sees the game differently to me, which makes me believe she’ll be the first female NFL head coach.

“You can’t coach yet,” I tell her after I signal the next play. Noah takes center and puts his offense into motion. The play is a pass downfield, about ten yards or so. Noah can throw farther, but Nick likes to keep things simple. I don’t blame him. Noah gets enough grief from the other parents about playing up an age group, and as much as I’d love for him to show off his arm, there’s a time and place for it.

The ball is caught, and the receiver runs for another ten or so yards before he’s brought down. I walk the sideline, stopping at the twenty-yard marker and signal for Noah to run the same play. He does, and it results in a touchdown. When the offense gets to the sideline, I high-five each of them and tell them to take a breather.

“Noah . . . Noah . . . Noah!” Peyton screams Noah’s name until he turns around and comes toward her.

“Peyton, stop screaming,” I tell her. I need to focus on the game, and she’s a distraction at the moment.

“High five,” she says to Noah when he gets to us. Only her five sounds like fibe, but Noah understands and claps hands with her. “I coach now.”

Noah laughs. “I don’t think so, P. You don’t know the plays.”

“Daddy shows me.”

“Maybe someday,” Noah tells her. When he starts to walk away, Peyton kicks her legs and whines. They’re attached at the hip, best friends, according to Peyton. I think Noah puts up with her because we’re family, but I suspect he gets tired of her always hanging around him. I don’t even want to know what it will be like when he brings his first girlfriend home.

Noah finally heads back to his team, and Peyton starts to become restless. “Do you want to go sit with Mommy?”

“Noah.”

“Noah’s busy right now.”

“I sit wif him.”

“In a little bit,” I tell her. The last thing I want to do is get frustrated with her. I’ve made it a point not to raise my voice with the girls. My parents rarely did it with me, and well . . . Katelyn’s parents aren’t winning any awards for their skills.

“Later?” Peyton asks.

“Yes, later. I promise.”

“Okay,” she says, content knowing she’ll be able to sit with her friend.

Later comes in the form of halftime, where my daughter gives a halftime speech. It’s times like this when I wish I had a video camera with me because listening to her pep the boys up and seeing them listen to her is a sight I’d like to replay again and again. More so when she’s older, and I get to embarrass her at her wedding or something. I think everyone in the stands paid attention to what she told the team because when she started clapping for herself, they did as well.

For the second half of the game, I let her sit on the bench, with the understanding she couldn’t move. Telling her if she did, she’d have to go sit with her mom, Peyton made sure to stay perfectly still. At least there, she’s close to the team and the action, and that’s where she wants to be.

When the game is over, Peyton runs out onto the field to congratulate the boys. I’m going to let her claim the victory. After all, it was probably her halftime speech that gave the boys the win. She’s upset when Noah goes with his grandparents and wants him to come home with us. By the time we get to the first stoplight, she’s zonked.

“She was a bit fussy during the game,” I tell Katelyn.

“Elle didn’t sleep well, so I imagine she kept her sister up all night.”

I sigh and think about how small our place is. “Maybe we need to look at getting a bigger place.”

“I’ve thought about it, but the market is really bad right now for buyers. The interest rates are crazy, and every week someone comes into the bank, begging for help. I’d be afraid we would end up in a situation we can’t get out of.”

She’s right. I reach across the console and hold her hand. “I’ll talk to my dad and see what kind of addition we can put on. We have enough yard space to at least add ten feet or so. Maybe we can move to the basement. I can get rid of the doghouse.”

Katelyn shakes her head. “I don’t want to sleep downstairs if the girls are upstairs. I want to be on the same floor as them, just in case.”

I don’t need her to tell me what the “just in case” is because I already know. A few weeks ago, Allenville lost a family of five because of a house fire. The kids were trapped in the basement, and the parents couldn’t get to them, and they wouldn’t leave the house without them. I can’t imagine what they went through.

By the time we get home, both girls are asleep in the car. For a moment, Katelyn and I sit there, basking in the silence. As much as I hate to say it, I’m ready for the toddler stage to be officially over. They’re starting to show their independence from each other more and more, but it’s not easy for them to break apart. They're so connected in that odd twin way where one always ends up with hurt feelings if the other wants to do something out of their norm. Change is not good for kids this age. They like routine.

Katelyn and I have become pros at getting the girls into their beds without waking them. I’ve never been so light-footed in my life until the twins came along. Now, I can tiptoe with the best of them, while carrying one of the girls.

As soon as Katelyn comes out of the girls’ room, I pull her into ours and make sure to shut our door. We take advantage of every moment we can, especially on the weekends. Being with my wife in the ways we used to before the twins came, is something I miss. Now, we’re about quickies in the bathroom, laundry room, or in the garage. At night, once the girls are in bed, we’re exhausted from work, dinner, and baths. By the time we get into bed, all we want to do is sleep most of the time. But when the weekend hits, it’s on. I love on my wife every chance I get.

“The machine is blinking,” Katelyn says as I start to take her top off.

“Don’t care.” I don’t. Whoever called left a message, and we’ll call them back when we’re free. Right now, I want to have sex with my wife.

My pants are around my ankles when the phone rings. Katelyn stills in my arms, and I know before she even tells me—she’s going to answer it. She says hello and then passes the phone to me.

“It’s your dad.”

Cock blocked by my father. Lovely.

“Hey.” I pull my pants up the best I can and bat Katelyn’s hands away when she tries to help. She laughs, but I’m frustrated.

“Your mom . . . she’s sick.”

“She got a cold or something?”

There’s a long pause, and I look up to find Katelyn staring at me. “Mason, I need for you and Katelyn to come to the hospital.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Mason—”

“Okay, we’re on our way.” Before I hang up, he gives me the room they’re in. I set the phone down on the cradle and try to process what my dad said. “Something’s wrong with my mom. My dad needs us at the hospital.”

“Did he say what’s wrong?”

I shake my head. “Just that we need to go there now.”

“I’ll call the Prestons and see if they can come to sit with the girls.” While Katelyn makes the call, I change out of my track pants and into jeans and grab a bite to eat from the kitchen, even though my stomach isn’t feeling all that well.

“They’ll be here in about thirty minutes. You go on ahead, and I’ll meet you there.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, of course. I’ll be right behind you.” We kiss goodbye, and I head toward my truck. The last time I was at the hospital, the twins were born. We’ve been lucky through the years. No one has ended up in the emergency room or checked in for an extended stay. However, I find it odd that my father has summoned us to the hospital, and my gut tells me something is very wrong.

By the time I get to the hospital, I’m a nervous wreck. Every bad thing I can think of plays through my mind. My parents weren’t at Noah’s game this morning, and while not out of the ordinary, it makes me wonder if my mom had some sort of accident, like maybe she stabbed herself with her knitting needles or something. But then, my dad wouldn’t tell Katelyn and me to come to the hospital if it was for something minor.

After taking the elevator to the correct floor, I make my way to my mom’s room. This floor is quiet, nothing like the maternity wing where babies cry and people cheer. The only noise on this floor is the beeping from the machines.

I knock on the door and step in. My dad looks at me as I take in the sight of my mom. She’s in bed and hooked to machines. “What’s going on?”

“Son.” Dad stands but doesn’t move toward me. I can’t take my eyes off my mom. She looks nothing like the woman I saw earlier in the week when I picked up the twins. She’s gaunt and has no coloring to her cheeks. She’s a shell of my mom.

“What’s wrong?” I have unshed tears in my eyes, threatening to spill over.

“Your mom is sick,” he starts with. “It’s cancer, Mason.”

I nod. Okay, we can do the chemo thing. I can be there for her. I sigh and say, “When does she start chemo? Does she have to have surgery? Like, what are we looking at here?”

He shakes his head slowly. “Her body,” he pauses and wipes the tears from his face. “The cancer is everywhere. There isn’t anything they can do except make her comfortable.”

“What?” Surely, I misunderstood. “What do you mean? How can the cancer be everywhere if she just got sick?”

“I don’t know, son.” He sits back down and holds my mother’s hand. She doesn’t move or open her eyes. I begin to pace until Katelyn arrives. In the hallway, I tell her everything my dad said, and she holds me while I cry.

The three of us sit in the room just watching my mom. It’s hard for me to look at her, knowing she’s in pain, and there isn’t anything we can do about it. Her doctor comes in and goes over an end-of-life plan, which I’m not prepared for. My dad has to make decisions he isn’t ready to make, like what funeral home we will use and so on. Who knows these things?

“How did my mom get so sick?” I ask the doctor.

“Mr. Powell, may I speak freely?” My dad nods, and the doctor continues, “We saw your mom about two years ago and treated her for a lump in her breast. We laid out the treatment plan, and she chose to take the homeopathic route.”

“Dad, you allowed this?”

“I didn’t know,” he says quietly.

“So, she’s had cancer for two years and never told any of us?” No one says anything because no one knows what to say. “Why would she do this?”

“I don’t know, son.”

I grip the end of her bed until my fingers scream out in pain. I want to throw something—anything—against the wall right now. Why would my mom do this to us?

After the doctor leaves, Katelyn excuses herself to call the Prestons and ask them to take the girls back to their place for the night, and then she takes my dad to get something to eat from the cafeteria. I take his place next to my mom. She stirs a little, and I try to soothe her, much like I do when the girls don’t feel well.

She says my name or tries to, but the drugs she’s on keep her parched. “It’s okay, Mom.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispers.

I can’t resist asking her, “For what?”

“This.” She closes her eyes again, and something tells me that is the last time I’ll ever speak with my mom again.

Over the next few days, my dad and I don’t leave the hospital. We stay in my mom’s room until she gets a visitor from her knitting club, our neighborhood, or the grandparent's PTA she joined when the girls started preschool. Katelyn and I go back and forth on whether we bring the girls up to say goodbye and ultimately decide this isn’t a memory we want them to have. We want them to remember the grandma who cared for and played with them, the one who built forts and taught them how to make cookies. We want the twins to remember their grandmother from earlier in the week when she picked them up from school and took them out for ice cream.

Not the way she is now. She can’t hold them and tell them stories. She can’t brush their hair or give them all the kisses. She can’t read to them or take them on a walk. We want them to hold on tightly to the good memories which they can remember.

People come and go during visiting hours, and then it’s just family at night. My dad and I don’t sleep much, and we’ve missed work, but we can’t leave her side. At night, when my dad thinks I’m sleeping, I hear him talking to her. He talks about their life together, raising me, the girls, and how much he loves her. He reminds my mom of the time they met and how he thought she was too pretty for him, and how he didn’t have the courage to ask her out and thanks her for being brave enough to ask him.

He doesn’t know this, but I lay there and cry. I cry for the life we’re losing, for the person my babies will never get to fully know, for my mom who felt she had to hide this from us as if we’d abandon her or something. I cry for myself because my mom has always been my rock, and I cry for my dad because he’s losing his best friend. I cry for my wife because my mom has been the best mom to Katelyn, and it’s not fair that she’s losing her.

When my mom and I are alone, I thank her for being the best mom any boy could wish for. I tell her how much I love her and how for these few short years she was the most amazing grandmother to Peyton and Elle. I let her know that she’s going to be missed, that our lives aren’t going to be the same without her. I repeat the life lessons she taught me, hoping to give her a little bit of solace that I’ve listened to everything she’s told me over the years. I refrain from saying goodbye when I talk to her because there’s a small piece of me praying for a miracle and end my conversation with, I love you.

Five days.

Less than a week ago, Katelyn and I rushed to the hospital, and now we stand with my dad, surrounding my mom and saying our goodbyes.

Forty-Five

Peyton and Elle sit on the bathroom counter and face the mirror while I shave. They have shaving cream on their face and are using a comb to wipe it off. It’s hard to believe that in a few short weeks, they’ll start kindergarten. I don’t know where the last five years went, but it seems like I went to bed one night with newborns and woke up with miniature humans complete with spunk and sass.

“You missed a spot, Daddy.” Elle turns and jabs her finger into my cheek. “Right there.”

“Thanks, princess.” Elle takes my brush and adds more soap to my face. I think if I let her, she’d take my razor and finish the job for me.

“Did I get it all, Daddy?” Peyton asks as she turns her head from side to side, looking in the mirror the same way I do to ensure I haven’t missed any spots.

“You’re perfect,” I tell her. Elle turns around, does the same thing, and asks the same question, getting the same response from me. The three of us clean up, and I help them down from the counter. The last thing I want is for them to jump down and break something.

Today, the town of Allenville is opening a sports museum that focuses on high school athletes, and I have to go. When they first told me, I wished them luck. It was something I didn’t want to be involved with, and even now, I second guess my decision to be there. I am not looking forward to reminiscing with any former teammates coming back to visit, and I definitely don’t want to hear or see anything about Liam. I’m tired of the name Liam Westbury or Liam Page, whatever he likes to call himself now. Katelyn reminded me of what I did in high school and how my achievements should stand out, and then she pulled a fast one and said it would mean the world to my dad if I went. She knew I’d do anything to make my dad smile. He hasn’t done much of that since my mom passed away.

Katelyn calls for the girls, and they rush into their bedroom. They’re wearing matching red dresses today, Beaumont High School colors. Peyton wanted to wear my old jersey, and I agreed, but Katelyn says with all the photographers there, we’ll be able to have a nice picture to hang, and we’ll have something for our Christmas card. I can’t argue with this logic, not that I’d want to. My wife wants a family photo, and what my wife wants, she gets.

Katelyn comes into our bedroom as I work to tie my tie. She tells me to sit on the edge of the bed and takes over the process. “You’re nervous.”

“I don’t want to go.”

“It’ll be fine.”

“It’s just . . .” I don’t know what it is exactly, but something feels off. I should be at the high school getting my practice plans ready for the beginning of the season or making sure the turf field is ready to go, and there aren’t any issues with it. I should be anywhere but going to Allenville.

“It’s just you don’t want to take a trip down memory road and see all those photos of you and Liam.”

“I think today’s the day when Noah will figure it out. He’s going to see those pictures of Liam and me during our younger days and know Liam’s his dad. I don’t know how they got those photos.”

“It must’ve been another parent.”

The one thing I wanted to avoid has happened. There are pictures of Liam and me from when we were younger, playing football. Every day, Noah looks more and more like Liam. It’s like I’m living in some weird time loop. If this doesn’t trigger Noah’s inquisitive side, I don’t know what will.

“Josie needs to tell him. I don’t know how many times I have to say it to her.”

“I know.” Katelyn finishes my tie and kisses the tip of my nose. “It’s her story to tell, Mason. We just have to be supportive.”

I stand and go to our dresser and look into the mirror Katelyn found at a yard sale. She painted and put it up all by herself. She’s done a lot of little projects like this around the house, like painting our brown kitchen cabinets white.

“We won’t stay long.” I don’t know who I’m saying this to. Herself or the guy staring back at me.

“Whoa, Daddy, you look beautiful,” Peyton says when she comes into our bedroom.

“Boys aren’t beautiful,” Elle barks out. “They’re handsome.”

“Daddy’s beautiful.” Peyton puts her hands on her hips and squares up to her sister. She may be older, but Elle is the alpha of the relationship. Elle pops her eyebrow at her sister and challenges her.

“Girls,” Katelyn snaps. “Go see if Grandpa is here.”

They move toward the door, and it’s a good thing they’re tiny, or they’d fight to get through it. I pull Katelyn into my arms and kiss her forehead. “We can cancel.”

“No, we can’t.”

She’s right, but at least I tried. She brushes her hands over my shoulders and smiles at me. “Peyton’s right. You’re beautiful, but Elle’s also right. You’re handsome.”

“Awe, shucks.” I know I’m blushing, so I go with it. I love that Katelyn can still make me feel like I’m a teenager all over again.

“Grandpa’s here,” Elle screams as loud as she can. Katelyn and I close our eyes to count to ten. It’s our calming technique. We need this when it comes to our youngest.

“Let’s do this.” I take Katelyn’s hand and lead her into the living room. My dad is waving at the girls from the front room window, and they’re giggling. “Come on. We can’t keep Grandpa waiting all day.”

“That’s because he’s old,” Elle says so matter-of-factly that we stop dead in our tracks.

“This kid will be the death of us,” Katelyn says as she follows the girls outside.

Dad drives us to the museum. Katelyn’s in the front, and I’m in the back with the girls. Ever since my mom passed away, Katelyn and my dad have grown closer, and he’s still the only one allowed to call her Katie. I’ve tried a couple of times and about lost my balls in the process.

When the girls were three, we enrolled them in pre-school. They hadn’t gone to daycare, and we wanted them to interact with kids their age. The last thing we wanted was to have children who couldn’t function in social situations. Dropping them off that day was extremely hard, and I thought it would set me up for kindergarten.

I was wrong.

This is the hardest thing I’ve had to do in a long time. I don’t know what it is, but knowing they’re starting their first day of their educational lives sits heavily on my shoulders. Maybe it’s because I remember kindergarten and being in the same class as Liam. We had already met on the football field and become friends but sitting next to him in class every day changed our friendship. We were close, the best of friends. I want that for my girls, but not at the expense of a broken heart, because after ten years, I still miss my friend.

Today, the girls don’t want to hold our hands, and that hurts. They don’t realize that mommy and daddy need a little support because their babies are growing up. They don’t know that their parents have cried already this morning and wondered if we could keep them home for another day or week or somehow prolong the start of kindergarten. They don’t know, and won’t know until they have their own kids, how hard this is for us.

Peyton and Elle aren’t in the same class this year. It was a change we requested because they’re very dependent upon each other. They have a secret language and can sense the other’s emotions, and we felt this could be a struggle for a teacher to handle. Not to mention, they’re dressing more and more like each other, unless it’s the weekend and Peyton is wearing her jersey.

The girls decided that I would take Peyton to her class, and Katelyn would take Elle. It’s not ideal, but it’s the best way to approach things. In a couple of days, we’ll have a back-to-school night, where the girls will be able to show us their classrooms as well as around the school.

Peyton and I head into her classroom. Her teacher greets us and points to where the cubbies are. After hanging up Peyton’s backpack, we find her desk and put her supplies in the open drawer under the top.

“Can I go to practice after school?” she asks.

I nod. “Mommy will take you.”

“Maybe I can throw the ball?”

I can’t help but smile. “Maybe, but my QB really needs to take all the snaps.”

Peyton shrugs. “We really need to work on Alex’s drop step, or he’s never going to get any scouts in the stands.” She says this so casually. If I didn’t know better, I’d think she was a football analyst.

“Well, I’ll see what I can do. I’ll see you later, pumpkin.”

“Bye, Daddy. I love you the most.”

“I love you, too. Have an amazing first day. I can’t wait to hear all about it.”

I take my leave and walk across the hall, happy to find Katelyn still in the classroom. She is filling out some form, likely to volunteer for something or other. I head to Elle’s desk and tap her on the shoulder.

“Daddy!”

“I couldn’t leave without getting a hug from my cheerleader.”

Elle launches herself into my arms and wraps hers around my neck. “I love you, princess. I hope you have an amazing first day, and when I get home from practice, I want to hear all about it.”

“Okay. I’m going to draw you a picture today so that you can put it on your wall.”

“I can’t wait. Can you do me a favor?”

Elle nods.

“At recess, try to make some new friends. Peyton’s going to do the same.”

“But Peyton’s my best friend.”

“I know she is.” I smile at her, knowing I’ll never be able to explain why it’s important to have more than one friend.

I meet Katelyn at the back of the room, and after she stops in to say goodbye to Peyton, we head to the parking lot. At her car, I hold her. “We’re going to get through this, right?”

She nods against my chest.

“I just hate thinking they’re not babies anymore.”

“I know,” she says.

“I think once the season is done, I’m going to get a part-time job. I really want to take them to Disney this summer. They’ll be six, and we haven’t had a family vacation. The delivery service places are always hiring.”

“I’ll see about picking up more hours at the bank.”

I shake my head. “If you go full-time, the girls will have to go to daycare after school. I don’t know how I feel about that. Let’s just get through the season and see how things go. I still have my coaching check we can use too.” I lean down and kiss her. “Have a good day.”

“You too, thank you for doing this with me.”

“As if I’d be anywhere else,” I tell her. “If the girls let me, I’m going to bring them to school on the first day, until they start college, and then maybe even then depending on where they go and if they go together.”

Katelyn laughs. “Something tells me you’re serious about this.”

“I am. You and the twins are my life. I’m happy, content, and love every minute of this family we created. I’ll do anything to make my girls smile.”

She rises onto her toes. “And your girls love you with everything they have.” Katelyn winks and then says, “Have a good day, Mr. Powell.”

“You too, Mrs. Powell.”

Forty-Six

We’re three weeks into the season and undefeated. Tonight’s game will be a challenge, though. A two-hour, one-way bus ride to face an out-of-state team, who in the past has dominated their league. According to their coach, they had some personnel issues a few years back, had to scrap their entire program and start over. For any sport, it would be hard, but for football, rebuilding a program is near impossible. By the time kids get to high school, they should know the fundamentals: How to block and tackle properly, how to protect themselves when tackled or thrown to the ground . . . elements taught at an early age. When their coach reached out to me, I hesitated. I wasn’t sure I wanted to put my guys through what I’d call a soft game, but the chance to help another team is too hard to pass up.

The gym is full of students; two P.E. classes combined into one because of the weather. Right now, I’m standing in the doorway watching the rain soak the fields. I love the sound of rain but loathe it during the season. Football isn’t like baseball. We rarely get cancelations, and the expectation is we play in any element. Extreme heat to monsoon. However, something doesn’t feel right about the game tonight, and I’m tempted to call the whole thing off, or at least postpone it. The risk of injury is too great right now, and an out of league game isn’t worth losing any of my players over. From where I’m standing, I can hear my office phone ring. I close the heavy metal door, sealing the gym and students off from the downpour and head into my office to answer it.

“Coach Powell.” This is how I answer. I’m not fond of being referred to as Mr. Powell. To me, that’s my dad. Coach makes me feel as if I’m more approachable to everyone, not only my players.

“Have you looked outside?” Nick Ashford, my one-time nemesis, replies. Although, technically, he really wasn’t really my nemesis, more Liam Westbury’s. To me, Nick was the kid who always wanted to fit in, but never fully broke through our tough exterior. Once he started dating one of my best friends, I had no choice but to give the guy a chance. Honestly, I’m happy I did. Nick’s a great coach, he’s amazing to Josie, and he stepped up in the dad department for my best buddy, Noah.

“Unfortunately.” I take my hat off and reposition it. “What are your thoughts?”

“Initially, cancel. But the boys could use the out-of-state competition. Coach Jones is well renowned, meaning there could be scouts there, and Alex Newmar could really use the looks. On the other hand . . .”

Nick doesn’t have to finish his sentence. We’re on the same page. Our job is to protect the boys. “I’ll make the call about two or so, see if the rain subsides. I’ll call Jones and check their weather. Maybe it’s clear there.”

“Good idea. Let me know. Otherwise, I’ll see you for the bus ride.” We hang up, and I immediately call Jones.

“Jones here.”

“Coach, it’s Mason Powell. Please tell me the sun is shining, your field is dry, and the birds are hanging the banner for the night?”

The man on the other end laughs. “I saw your weather report this morning. Nice little storm you have going on in Beaumont.”

“You’re telling me.”

“The sky is blue as can be, the sun is shining, and not a drop of rain on the radar.”

I sigh heavily with relief. “We’ll be on our way shortly after three.”

“We’re looking forward to it.”

I call Nick back, leave a message with his receptionist, and go back into the gym. Because we canceled our outside activity due to rain, the students have set up basketball and dodgeball games. Most everyone is playing, but in the corner is a group of girls, chatting away. From my experience, or at least from what my wife has told me, the girls are likely talking about the boys in class. She and Josie used to do this when we were in high school. Their freshman year, they pointed out the cute guys they wanted to go to Homecoming with or take to the winter formal. And then, after Katelyn and I started dating, the group of girls sat in the corner and asked her dirty details about us. Questions which she swears she never answered. Not that I would care if she did. Of course, I goad her and ask if I was on her list, but she never answers me.

As soon as class is over, the rest of my day goes by rather quickly. I’m lucky in the sense I have a student teacher in the afternoon. On days like today, I’m able to focus on the game and get the gear ready for the bus ride. By quarter to three, my team is moving in and out of the locker room, gathering their stuff and making their way to the bus. Some parents are outside, handing their sons bags of food and blankets for the ride. The downpour is now a drizzle, making the trip somewhat better.

When I walk outside, I’m attacked by two five-year-olds. One is dressed like a cheerleader, looking like a mini version of her mother. The other is dressed like she’s ready to play running back on my team, minus the shoulder pads. She, too, looks like her mom, except both girls have dark hair like me. I crouch down and lift both of them onto my hip, only to be thanked by numerous kisses on my cheeks.

“Girls, I love you so much.” They giggle, and it’s the happiest sound in the world.

“Daddy, can I ride on the bus?” Peyton, my football playing daughter, asks.

“No, Mommy already told you. You have to ride in the car with us.” And that’s Elle, my firecracker answering her sister for me. Someday, she’s going to be the president of something. The girls started school this year, and they weren’t in class more than a couple of days when Elle’s kindergarten teacher called and said she was rather bossy. Katelyn told Elle’s teacher we were raising a leader, not a follower. But at home, we talked to her about how she treats others and to maybe tone it down a bit. Not that a five-year-old knows what any of this means. She is who she is and has been this way since she was born.

“Daddy would love to have you ride with us, but the school doesn’t allow it,” I tell Peyton, who instantly hides her face in the curve of my neck. She’s always worn her emotions on her sleeve. She’s what Katelyn and I call “the lurker,” always assessing the situation before inserting herself into any role. Peyton would rather sit and watch, whereas her sister is the loud, “look at me” type.

I carry the girls to the car, where Katelyn is waiting for them. Before I hand them off, I lean down to kiss my wife, much to the girls’ chagrin. Elle yells out “ewww” while Peyton tries to pull my face away from her mother’s.

“Be careful driving,” I say to Katelyn as she reaches for Elle. She instantly puts her down and motions for her to climb into the backseat. It’s been a long time since Katelyn could carry both girls, but for me, it’s easy, and I’m going to do it for as long as I can. While my wife straps Elle into her car seat, I help with Peyton.

“Daddy loves you,” I whisper to her and kiss her on the cheek. She holds my face between her tiny hands and leans forward to rub her nose with mine.

“I love you, Daddy.” Best. Words. Ever.

I rush over to the other side and do the same with Elle. She smiles. “I know, Daddy. I love you too.” And finally, to my wife. I kiss her again, and this time it’s the boys on the bus who are giving us shit. Whatever, I don’t care. Someday, they’re going to find the love of their lives when they least expect it. I found mine during our first year of high school and have never been happier.

“I’ll see you at the game.”

“Good luck!”

When I get onto the bus, the boys are clapping. I bow and then wave them off. There are a few boys who have come to me with questions about their girlfriends, and I find myself toeing the line between male bonding and teacher ethics. It’s probably best I don’t tell them how I was when I was in high school. I’m not sure their parents will appreciate how promiscuous Katelyn and I were at sixteen. Hell, I don’t even want to think about my girls having sex until they’re old, like really old, but I’m not naïve and know it’s going to happen. As a parent and teacher, all I can do is encourage them to make the smartest and safest choices possible and be prepared for the outcome.

The bus ride goes off without a hitch. When we arrive, Coach Jones is there and quite shocked to see we brought two buses full of students with us. “I’m sorry, we don’t travel light,” I tell him as we shake hands.

“I can’t imagine with your record and history many people miss a game.”

He’s right. Beaumont High has made a name for themselves when it comes to both boys’ and girls' sports. Even our cheerleading squad has won a few national competitions at the high school level.

Jones shows us to our locker room, and the boys get ready. They’re hyped for the game, even though this game won’t count on our state record. Once they’re dressed, they head out to the field for warm-ups. If this were a home game, we’d have the band playing our fight song, our cheerleaders in the tunnel cheering us on, and we’d run out to a packed stadium. By stadium, I mean a five thousand seat, filled to capacity place where we play our games on Friday nights. Tonight though, we run out as a team, with our cheer squad making a tunnel for us.

Throughout the night, it’s a back-and-forth game. We go up by two touchdowns; they intercept and run the ball back for six. For a club who is rebuilding, Coach Jones is doing a damn fine job of getting his team back on the saddle, so to speak.

After our halftime chat, I am, once again, tackled by my girls. They’re on the field with Noah, who is tossing the ball around with one of our junior varsity boys. “Step through.” I stand next to him, with both girls attached to my legs. Elle’s in her red tutu, with a white glitter sweater on, while Peyton wears a red mini Beaumont High jersey and carries a full-sized football under her arms.

“Like this?” he asks.

“Better. Much better. Tomorrow before your game, we’ll work on the spin.” I wasn’t the quarterback in high school, Noah’s father was, but he’s absent from his son’s life. It’s a hard pill to swallow sometimes. I’m afraid of what happens to Noah when he finally learns the truth. For years, I’ve begged Josie to tell her son about Liam, to show him who his father is, but she refuses. Too much pain, even after ten years.

“Daddy, can I play wif Noah?” Peyton asks. Before I can even answer, he has his hand out, reaching for her. These two have been attached from day one and share a special bond.

“Are you picking me up for the game?” he asks.

“Nick and I will figure it out on our way home.”

“Thanks, Uncle Mason.”

“Anything for you, bud.”

I take Elle back to Katelyn, who is standing at the railing along with Josie. She’s in a deep conversation with Nick, and Katelyn has her arms outstretched to take Elle from me. “We might leave,” she tells me. “I’m not feeling very well.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Queasy.”

Deep down, I hope she’s pregnant. We’ve been trying for almost a year now and nothing. “Do you want me to stop on the way home?” I leave my question open, hoping she understands my intent.

She shakes her head slowly. “I’m not if that’s what you’re curious about.”

I sigh. Maybe next month. “Okay, babe.” She leans down and kisses me.

“I love you. I’ll see you when you get home.”

“I love you more.” I kiss Elle and tell her to be good for her mother, and then go over to Noah and Peyton. He’s teaching her how to throw the football. Honestly, I’m not surprised she can do it. “Peyton, someday you’ll be my starting quarterback.”

“Okay, Daddy.” She allows me to pick her up and kisses me. Like earlier, her hands are on my cheeks, and she rubs her nose against mine. I don’t have to tell her to be good because she always is. She’s not the one I have to worry about.

When the final horn sounds, I glance at the scoreboard. We won by seven. Not as victorious as I had hoped, but nonetheless, a win. Noah comes into the locker room with us and sits with the team. He absorbs everything Nick, the other coaches, and I have to say. There isn’t a doubt in my mind, Noah Preston is going to be the next big star to come out of Beaumont. Not that the boys I have now aren’t stars, but they don’t have what Noah does. He’s an all-around athlete and will have his pick of colleges in eight years.

The bus ride back is quiet. Most of the guys are listening to their headphones or sleeping. Nick is reading a book, and I’m watching the road. I do this often, stare out into the darkness, and wonder where the hell Liam is. I call him every year on Noah’s birthday and leave a message with this agent. He needs to know he has a son. Although I’m not prepared for the ass beating I’ll get if Liam ever decides to return. Josie will likely kill me, and Katelyn will revive me just to kill me again.

Back at school, the buses unload, and the kids all disperse into their cars. Except for the team, they have to take their gear into the school.

“Tonight was exhausting,” Nick says as he sits down in my office.

“I know—sort of wish we canceled. I don’t feel like we won the game at all. The boys weren’t playing their best.”

“Nope, wanna run them on Monday?”

I nod. “I think we’ll start with the snake. See how much effort we get. Big game this Friday, so they need to be prepared. I want that title, and there isn’t a reason we shouldn’t remain undefeated this year.”

“Agreed,” Nick says. “Noah says you’re coming by in the morning?”

“Yeah, gonna hit the park before practice. Want me to bring coffee?”

“Nah, I’ll spend some quality time with Josie before Noah’s game if you’re cool with taking Noah.”

“Say no more, brother.” Nick stands, and we man hug.

After Nick leaves, I send the score and stats of tonight’s game to our local newspaper. I know the parents appreciate it. Once I’ve sent my email, I turn off my computer and lock up my office. I’m hoping for better weather tomorrow because keeping these kids locked up before winter only makes them stir crazy.

The rain finally stops, and I mentally run through the NFL schedule for Sunday so I can figure out when I’ll mow the lawn. I think I can still get the grass mowed, run to the store, and have the barbecue ready to go before Nick, Josie, and Noah come over to watch the games. It’ll be the perfect weekend with the win tonight. Noah’s sure to win tomorrow, and a rest day full of football. This is the life.

Traffic is so light on my drive home. It’s eerie. Normally, even when we have an away game, people are out driving, but I guess everyone is at the tower or has gone home for the night. When I get to the stop sign, the DJ on the radio catches my attention. More so, “Liam Page and 4225 West” is what piques my curiosity. I don’t know why today, of all days, I’ve thought about Liam so often. It’s like something has put him at the forefront of my mind. Maybe because it’s a new season or how fast Noah is growing up without his father. Hell, for all I know, it’s because I miss the bastard and there isn’t anything I can do about it.

I’m at a crossroads. If I turn right, I head to the tower. It’s where all my memories of Liam are, and it’s not often I get to go there. My days of drinking and tossing bottles into the back of my truck are long gone. If I go straight, I drive past his parents’ house. I haven’t been there in who knows how long, and when I see his mother at the store, she pretends like she doesn’t know me. That hurts. Bianca and I were never close, but I was her son’s best friend. I think I deserve a hello at the very least. Never mind Liam’s piece of shit father. If he ever said anything to me, I’d probably slam him up against the wall and tell him it’s his fault Liam doesn’t know his son.

I signal to go left, down the road that will take me home to my family. Liam’s voice on the radio makes me pause. “It’s time to come home, Liam,” I say to my empty cab. I glance in my rearview mirror, bright lights from the vehicle coming up behind me are blinding. Instead of pulling forward, I adjust my mirror, only to realize I’m too late . . .

Epilogue

I roll over and look at the clock. It’s after midnight and Mason still isn’t home. There’s a pounding sound coming from the living room. I get up slowly, realizing that I’m still in my clothes from earlier. Tonight’s game had been two hours away. A team trying to make a name for themselves asked if we’d come play them. Mason, never one to turn down a game, obliged happily as did the rest of the team. They loaded up the bus, plus two additional ones for fans, and made the trek. The girls and I went, but left early because it was cold.

I walk out into the living room. It’s dark, but blue lights flash through the window. The pounding starts again. It’s the front door. Mason probably locked himself out.

“Crazy man,” I mutter. I open the door and am met by Paul Baker, the local police chief. “Paul, what are you doing here this late?”

“Hi, Katelyn,” he says as he tips his hat. I push the screen door open and look out into the driveway for Mason’s truck. It’s not there. I try to keep the feeling of dread from creeping in, but it’s there. Something’s wrong.

“I need to take you down to Beaumont General.”

“What for?” I don’t give Paul a chance to even tell me why before I’m asking.

Paul takes off his hat. His eyes are red, showing evidence that he’s been crying. “Mason’s been in an accident. You need to come to the hospital.”

My knees buckle. Paul catches me before I hit the ground. “I got you. Come on, Katelyn,” he says as he rights me. “Call Josie, tell her to come and sit with the girls. They’ll be okay until she gets here. Roberta will sit outside. We gotta go.”

I nod and walk on shaky legs to the phone. It takes me four times to get her number right. The phone rings and goes to voicemail. I hang up and try again. “Hello?”

“Josie, I need you to come watch the girls. Mason . . . he’s had an accident and I need to go. Paul’s here.”

“Okay I’ll be over.” Josie hangs up, but I stay on the phone listening to the buzzing sound. Mason’s been in an accident. An accident. The word plays over and over again in my head, but I’m not grasping the meaning. What kind of accident? Paul’s hand presses down on my shoulder and the other takes the phone from my hand. He sets it down so gently I barely hear it click.

“Come, Katelyn, we need to go.”

“Is Mason alive?”

Paul doesn’t say anything as he guides me out of the house. He shuts the door behind me and pushes me toward his car, the blue lights blinding me the closer I get.

“The girls—”

“They’ll be fine. Roberta is right there, see?” I follow the direction he’s pointing and see another police car sitting in front of my house. My neighbors are standing on our property line in their robes and slippers, holding hands. I don’t want to know what they’re thinking when Paul helps me into the front seat and pulls out of the driveway.

We drive through the empty streets, and even though he’s speeding, it feels like the fifteen-minute drive is taking an hour. My hands are wringing in my lap. My stomach turns and threatens to empty itself all over the floorboard that my feet rest on. Paul turns into the almost empty parking lot and right up to the emergency room entrance. I look out the window at the sliding glass doors and see a few people walking around. Everything seems calm inside, yet everything inside of me is burning and on edge.

Paul opens my door and holds my hand until I’m standing. Everything is moving in slow motion. I hesitate at the door, afraid to cross the threshold. Something tells me that I’m leaving here by myself. He nudges me, his hand guiding my back as we walk through the quiet halls. A door clicks and we are in the center of the action.

“Mrs. Powell.” I look at the doctor standing in front of me. His blue scrubs appear to be clean, fresh out of the laundry. I nod, unable to find my voice. Paul motions for us to sit down. I can’t move. I shake my head. I need to know what’s going on.

“Where’s Mason?”

By the expression on the doctor’s face I know. He doesn’t need to say the words. My hand covers my mouth and my head starts to shake back and forth. Paul’s arm comes to rest on my waist, holding me up.

“Mrs. Powell, if you’d like to see your husband I can take you to him. He doesn’t have much time left. I’m sorry. We’ve cleaned him up and he looks like he’s sleeping. The machines are keeping him breathing, but he can’t breathe on his own and he has very little brain activity.”

“He’s alive?”

“At the moment, yes.”

The doctor turns and I follow with Paul beside me. He pauses at the door separating me from my husband.

“What happened?”

Paul clears his throat. “He was sitting at the bottom of the hill, waiting for the light to change when an eighteen wheeler came behind him. The truck’s brakes gave out at the top of the hill and he couldn’t slow down. The driver said the light changed, but by then he was already too close and hit Mason. He says he honked, but you and I both know Mason most likely had the radio turned up, so he probably didn’t hear him.”

Paul takes a deep breath. “As soon as he hit, Mason lost control. He hit the wall before jumping the guardrail and hitting a tree.”

I don’t acknowledge Paul or the doctor. I push the door open. My hand covers my mouth as a sob takes over my body. My husband . . . my school sweetheart lays before me with a white sheet covering his body. His arms are down at his side. His face . . . his beautiful face is bruised and covered in cuts. I can’t tell if this is my husband or not. I take tentative steps to his bedside and run my fingers up his arm. I bend slightly and look at his shoulder. Unable to control myself, I lay on top of him and cry. This beat up man is my husband and he’s dying.

“Mason,” I say over and over again, waiting for a sign or some type of response to show me that the doctor is wrong. My husband is strong. He can pull through this. He just needs to know that I’m here and that I love him. I cup his face, lean in, and kiss his lips. They’re cold and uninviting. I run my hand over his hair. He has an appointment tomorrow morning so he can get a trim. Every six weeks like clockwork.

“Mason, baby, please wake up,” I plead with him. “Open your beautiful eyes for me.” I lay my head on his chest to feel his heart, but it’s so faint.

“Katie?”

My head pops up and I see Mr. Powell standing at the end of the bed. I forgot to call him. He looks at me with such sorrow in his eyes. He comes to me, his arms wrapping around my shoulders. He holds me while I cry. I scream loudly, but don’t know the words that are coming out of my mouth. His body shakes with mine as we battle the pain that is ripping through our bodies. Our world is leaving us and we are powerless to stop him from going.

“We have to say good-bye.”

I shake my head. “No, he’s strong, he’ll pull through.”

“I know, Katie.” He sighs, holding me tighter. The machine beeps. We break apart. I hold Mason’s hand while his father holds his other. My fingers twist his wedding band back and forth while my other hand strokes his cheek. I lean forward, setting my lips by his ear.

“I love you, Mason Powell. You’re the best husband and father. Our daughters love you. If you can hear me, fight, baby. Fight so damn hard because we need you. I need you. I don’t know how to live without you.” My tears wet the side of his face. I hear his dad take in a deep breath. I can’t even begin to imagine how he’s doing this. We were in this same hospital not a year ago saying good-bye to his wife.

Mason’s body shudders. The beeping stops. I try to choke back a sob, but it wracks through my body. I cry for the loss of my husband and best friend. I cry for my daughters and the father they’ve lost.

I cry because I don’t know what else I’m supposed to do. How does one move on from this?

Thank you for reading FOREVER MASON! If you’d like to chat about Mason, join the Beaumont reader group on Facebook or sign up for my newsletter!

Are you new to the Beaumont Series? Continue reading with Forever My Girl and then be there when Katelyn finds love again in My Unexpected Forever.

Forever My Girl

Chapter One - Liam

A light snore reminds me that I’m not alone. The heaviness of a body sprawled out, sets me off immediately. The stale smell of day old perfume lingers in the air and on my sheets.

The curtains are pulled back, the sun shining through the large window which affords me the best view and privacy.

Rolling over, there’s a face I don’t remember. A face that holds no name in my recollection or any vivid memory of how she ended up in my hotel room let alone my bed.

The bed part I can probably figure out.

The blonde hair tells me that I didn’t bother to get her name or ask her what her favorite drink was. Guaranteed our conversation was eyes, hands, and lips only. There is only one hair color that can make my heart beat and blonde isn’t it.

Neither is red.

Eyes too.

Never blue.

They have to be brown or green, never blue.

This isn’t a downward spiral or some drug-induced moment. I don’t do drugs, never have, but I may drink excessively on occasions like last night. This is me coping with my mistakes and failures. I may be successful when I’m on stage, but at night I’m alone.

And so freaking scared of dying alone.

I reach for my phone to check the time. Instead, I pull up the gallery that holds her image, my thumb hovering over her face. I’ll see her when I go home and I don’t know what I’ll say.

I know she hates me.

I hate me.

I ruined her life. That is what her voice message said. The one I’ve saved for the past ten years. The one I’ve transferred from phone to phone just so I could hear her voice when I’m at my lowest. I can recite every hateful word she said to me when I was too busy to answer and never found the time to call her back.

Never found one second to call and explain to her what I had done to us. She was my best friend and I let her slip through my fingers just to save myself from the heartache of hearing she didn’t want me anymore.

I had dreams, too.

And my dreams included her, but she would never have gone for it. I’m not living her American Dream. I’m living my own.

My decision destroyed everything.

My nameless bed cohabitant reaches out and strokes my arm. I move away quickly. Now that I’m sober, I have no desire to be anything to this person.

“Liam,” she says through her seductive tone that sounds like a baby. It makes my skin crawl when women talk like this. Don’t they see that it makes them sound ridiculous? No man worth his nuts likes this sort of thing. It’s not sexy.

Wrapping the sheet around my waist, I sit up and swing my legs over the edge, away from her and her wandering hand. My back tenses when I feel the bed shift. Standing, I pull the sheet tighter to keep myself somewhat covered. I shouldn’t care, but I do. She’s seen me in the dark, but I’m not affording her or her camera another look.

“I’m busy.” My voice is strict, a well-practiced monotone. “Jorge, the concierge, will make sure you get a cab home.”

I sleep purposefully facing the bathroom so I never have to look at them when I tell them to leave. It’s easier that way, no emotions. I don’t have to look at their faces and see the hope fade. Each one hopes they will be the one to tame me, to make me commit.

I haven’t had a steady girlfriend since I entered the industry, and a one-night stand isn’t about to change that. These girls don’t mean anything and never will. I could change. I could settle down and marry.

Have a kid or two.

But why?

My manager, Sam, would love it, especially if it was her. She’s my only repeat lay. The first time was an error in judgment, a lonely night on the road mistake. Now she wants more. I don’t.

When she told me she was pregnant I wanted to jump off a cliff. I didn’t want kids, at least not with her. When I think about having a wife, she’s tall and brunette. She’s toned from years of cheerleading and her daily five-mile run. She’s not a power hungry executive in the music industry who spoke of hiring nannies before a doctor could confirm her pregnancy.

She suggested marriage; I freaked and flew to Australia to learn to surf.

She miscarried two months in. I made a vow that we’d keep things professional from that point on, and that is when I started my one-night stand routine. Despite everything, she still loves me, and is waiting for me to change my mind.

“You know,” the barfly from last night starts to say in between shuffling and her huffed breathing as she puts on her clothes, “I heard you were a dick, but I didn’t believe it. I thought we had something special.”

I laugh, shaking my head. I’ve heard it all, each one thinks we have something special because of the most amazing night they’ve ever had.

“I didn’t pick you for your brains.” I walk into the bathroom and shut the door, locking it for good measure.

Leaning against the door, I bang my head against the solid wood. Each time I tell myself I’m going to stop, and I think I have until something makes me want to forget. My hands rake over my face in pure frustration.

I’m not looking forward to going home.

The reason for returning is staring at me from my bathroom counter. The page-long article on the guy I used to call my best friend. Picking up the paper, I read over the words that I have memorized.

Mason Powell, father of two, was killed tragically when the car he was driving was rear-ended by an eighteen wheeler.

Dead.

Gone.

And I wasn’t there.

I left like a coward when I didn’t say goodbye.

I changed my cell phone number because she wouldn’t stop calling. I needed to make a clean break and Mason was part of that. She and Katelyn were best friends and he’d tell her where I was and what I was doing. It was better this way.

I was only meant to be gone a year. I told myself I’d return home after twelve months, make everything right, and show her that I wasn’t the same person she fell in love with. She’d see that and thank me, move on and marry a yuppie business man, one who wakes up every day and puts on a crisp dress shirt and pleated slacks that she’d iron in their Leave It to Beaver household.

Squeezing the paper in my hands, I think about everything I’ve missed. I don’t regret it, I can’t. I did this for me and did it the only way I knew how. I just didn’t think I’d care so much about missing everything.

I missed the day he asked Katelyn to marry him. Something I knew he wanted to do since we were sixteen.

I missed his wedding and the birth of his twins. He was a father and a husband. He had three people who depended on him and now he’s gone. He’ll never see his children grow up and do the things that we did when we were younger. All the things we said our kids would do together. I missed this because I had something to prove to myself. I gave up on their dream and the life we had all planned out.

And now I’m heading home to face the music.

About the Author

Heidi McLaughlin is a New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and USA Today Bestselling author of The Beaumont Series, The Boys of Summer, and The Archers.

Originally, from the Pacific Northwest, she now lives in picturesque Vermont, with her husband, two daughters, and their three dogs.

In 2012, Heidi turned her passion for reading into a full-fledged literary career, writing over twenty novels, including the acclaimed Forever My Girl.

Heidi’s first novel, Forever My Girl, has been adapted into a motion picture with LD Entertainment and Roadside Attractions, starring Alex Roe and Jessica Rothe, and opened in theaters on January 19, 2018.

Don’t miss more books by Heidi McLaughlin! Sign up for her newsletter, or join the fun in her fan group!

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Also by Heidi McLaughlin

THE BEAUMONT SERIES

Forever My Girl

My Everything

My Unexpected Forever

Finding My Forever

Finding My Way

12 Days of Forever

My Kind of Forever

Forever Our Boys

Forever Mason

The Beaumont Boxed Set - #1

THE BEAUMONT SERIES: NEXT GENERATION

Holding Onto Forever

My Unexpected Love

Chasing My Forever

Peyton & Noah

Fighting For Our Forever

A Beaumont Family Christmas

THE PORTLAND PIONEERS:

A BEAUMONT SERIES NEXT GENERATION

SPIN-OFF

Fourth Down

Fair Catch

False Start

CAPE HARBOR SERIES

After All

Until Then

THE ARCHER BROTHERS

Here with Me

Choose Me

Save Me

LOST IN YOU SERIES

Lost in You

Lost in Us

THE BOYS OF SUMMER

Third Base

Home Run

Grand Slam

Hawk

THE REALITY DUET

Blind Reality

Twisted Reality

SOCIETY X

Dark Room

Viewing Room

Play Room

THE CLUTCH SERIES

Roman

STANDALONE NOVELS

Stripped Bare

Blow

Sexcation

HOLIDAY NOVELS

Santa’s Secret

It’s a Wonderful Holiday

THE DATING SERIES

A Date for Midnight

A Date with an Admirer

A Date for Good Luck

A Date for the Hunt

A Date for the Derby

A Date to Play Fore

A Date with a Foodie

A Date for the Fair

A Date for the Regatta

A Date for the Masquerade

A Date with a Turkey

A Date with an Elf

Table of Contents

- Cover
- Contents
- Forever Mason
- Copyright
- Dedication
- The Beaumont Series
- Prologue
- Chapter 1
- Chapter 2
- Chapter 3
- Chapter 4
- Chapter 5
- Chapter 6
- Chapter 7
- Chapter 8
- Chapter 9
- Chapter 10
- Chapter 11
- Chapter 12
- Chapter 13
- Chapter 14
- Chapter 15
- Chapter 16
- Chapter 17
- Chapter 18
- Chapter 19
- Chapter 20
- Chapter 21
- Chapter 22
- Chapter 23
- Chapter 24
- Chapter 25
- Chapter 26
- Chapter 27
- Chapter 28
- Chapter 29
- Chapter 30
- Chapter 31
- Chapter 32
- Chapter 33
- Chapter 34
- Chapter 35
- Chapter 36
- Chapter 37
- Chapter 38
- Chapter 39
- Chapter 40
- Chapter 41
- Chapter 42
- Chapter 43
- Chapter 44
- Chapter 45
- Chapter 46
- Epilogue
- Forever My Girl
- About the Author
- Also by Heidi McLaughlin