Ripped
Author: V.J. Chambers
Date: 2016-01-28 05:00:00+00:00
Keywords: Romance; Dark; Contemporary Romance; Contemporary; Crime; Romantic Suspense; Own; Suspense
Description: Cade “Ripper” Davies I don’t do attachments. I don’t do affection. I do my job, and it’s all I need. I’m a contract killer, and I’m a bad man. But this girl, Shell, she’s getting to me. She started out as a convenient hostage, a means to an end. But for some reason, I’m keeping her safe, even though it means turning against a man I once considered my best friend. There’s something about her, and not just that she’s sexy as hell. I can’t get her out of my head, and I can’t let her go. Shell Birch The first thing I notice about Cade is that he’s ridiculously attractive. The next thing I notice i

Contents

Synopsis

Copyright

Excerpt

Title Page

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER TEN

CHAPTER ELEVEN

CHAPTER TWELVE

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

CHAPTER NINETEEN

CHAPTER TWENTY

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

Ripped

A Hitman Romance
by V. J. Chambers

Cade “Ripper” Davies

I don’t do attachments. I don’t do affection.

I do my job, and it’s all I need. I’m a contract killer, and I’m a bad man.

But this girl, Shell, she’s getting to me. She started out as a convenient hostage, a means to an end. But for some reason, I’m keeping her safe, even though it means turning against a man I once considered my best friend.

There’s something about her, and not just that she’s sexy as hell. I can’t get her out of my head, and I can’t let her go.

Shell Birch

The first thing I notice about Cade is that he’s ridiculously attractive. The next thing I notice is that he’s pointing a gun at me. I’m not one of those girls who gets hot for dangerous men, but let me tell you, the shoulders on this guy… Looking at his hard, broad body makes me warm in all the wrong places.

He’s got a filthy mind and clever fingers, and he makes me dizzy when he touches me. I’m at his mercy, completely and utterly.

And then I see another side of him, something unguarded and honorable. That side of him takes me and makes me his. But I can’t be his… not with the kind of life he leads, not with the kind of demons he has.

And I think I might be pregnant.

RIPPED

© copyright 2016 by V. J. Chambers
http://vjchambers.com

Punk Rawk Books

Please do not copy or post this book in its entirety or in parts anywhere. You may, however, share the entire book with a friend by forwarding the entire file to them. (And I won’t get mad.)

I backed up instinctively, all the way into the wall.

He closed the distance between us.

Now I was trapped. I clutched at the wall, wincing. “Go sit down and look through your files. I’ll be quiet. I promise.”

He leaned over me, settling one hand on the wall, so that his arm was blocking my path to the doorway. “You do want me.” His voice was quiet.

I shook my head, biting my lip.

He seized my chin, holding it in place. “You do,” he insisted. He kissed me—quickly taking my lips, invading my mouth, and then pulling back.

I gasped and reached out to touch his chest.

“Say it,” he said.

I nodded. “Yes.”

“Yes what?”

“Yes,” I managed, “I want you.” It felt difficult to get air all of the sudden. My hand flattened against his rock hard chest. I could feel the shape of his muscles through his shirt.

“Good.” He put his forehead against mine, and for just a second, I saw a vulnerability in his eyes, as if—for all his bravado—he hadn’t really been sure of me. “Because I have wanted you all goddamned day.” His voice was rough.

I put my other hand on his chest.

He kissed me again, hot and wet, assaulting my mouth.

I moved my hands lower, to his stomach. It was just as firm as the rest of him.

He put his hands on my waist, skimmed it, and then let them move higher, to my breasts. He cupped them, rubbed his thumbs over my nipples.

They stiffened under my shirt and bra. I let out a little moan.

The sound seemed to galvanize him. One of his hands moved down my body, thrusting under the waist of my pants, finding the center of me.

Ripped

A Hitman Romance

by V. J. Chambers

CHAPTER ONE

Cade

I pushed open the door to Prince Larbi Hassan’s office. Really, I didn’t think he conducted any actual business besides rerouting large sums of money to terrorist organizations, but he had an office anyway.

Little Larbi was well known to be a playboy and party prince. Though his lifestyle was diametrically opposed with the morals of the extremist groups, they took his money anyway, probably even lied to him and told him that his gifts made up for his sins, that he was a holy man.

Crazy people had been doing that to rich leaders for centuries.

Prince Larbi looked up from his massive desk. He was typing something on his computer, staring at his razor-thin monitor. “Who are you?”

I smiled. “They call me Ripper. I’m here to kill you.”

Larbi pushed up out of the desk, the look on his face telling me that he wasn’t quite sure if he should take me seriously or not, but he was halfway towards screaming for his life anyway.

I strode across the room to meet him, casually pulling out my Browning Hi-Power and pressing it into his stomach. “It’s nothing personal,” I said. “Well, I personally do think you’re a waste of space who only uses people and funds mass killers, but I’m not the one who wants you dead.”

Larbi drew in a lungful of air.

I put the gun in his mouth. “Don’t scream. It’ll make you look like a lily-hearted pussy. Aren’t you people supposed to be trained to face death bravely?”

He tried to back away.

I snatched him by the collar and held him close. “You want to know who wants you dead? I’m not supposed to tell anyone, but since you’re going to be dead soon, I don’t suppose it matters. It’s the U.S. government. Not that they’d cop to it if anyone asked. This is all on the down low. But they hired me to kill you because they can’t touch you legally, not with your diplomatic immunity, and they know that you’re giving money to their enemies. They don’t like you very much.”

He swallowed.

I sighed. “You know, I don’t know why I bother. But it does seem to me that every man deserves to know why he’s being killed. So, now you know.”

Larbi made a noise, around the gun, something like a word.

I didn’t want to hear what he had to say. Nothing he said would excuse him. And besides, nothing he said would unhire me to kill him. In the end, it was a job like any other. If I didn’t deliver what I advertised, I’d go out of business.

So, I pulled the trigger.

It was loud.

Larbi’s blood spattered the wall behind the desk. He toppled to the floor.

People would be coming.

I tugged a small spray bottle of bleach water out of my pocket. I sprayed down the gun. I dropped it. I wore gloves to avoid fingerprints, but the bleach was just extra protection. I advertised the fact that I provided a clean crime scene and there wasn’t any call for leaving my DNA all over the place.

I didn’t have a lot of time.

Striding past the desk and the body, I headed for the door behind the desk. I had found it in the building’s schematics earlier, when I was planning this out. The plan was to go out this door, go through Larbi’s personal rooms, hit his private elevator, go down to the bottom floor and leave through the back entrance.

It was a good plan.

But when I opened the door, I came face-to-face with two girls. One was wearing a lot of makeup and an expensive-looking robe. The other was in a t-shirt and jeans. Her eyes widened when she saw me.

The girls looked a lot alike.

But there was something about the girl in the t-shirt.

Maybe there was just something about the t-shirt. It was clingy, and I could see her nipples sticking out of the fabric. Either she wasn’t wearing a bra or it was a thin one.

Funny thing to notice when fleeing a crime scene, but killing sometimes gets me worked up.

Not that I had time to worry about that.

But there I was, staring at the chick’s tits, standing there, wasting time.

And the girl in the robe screamed. “What did you do to Larbi?”

* * *

Shell

The whole reason that I was at the home of Prince Larbi Hassan of Nemekistan was that I was trying to convince my sister to leave his harem. I didn’t make a habit of hanging around with foreign princes. I wouldn’t have even been allowed in under normal circumstances.

But Starling, my sister, had somehow managed to worm her way into the prince’s graces and she was now his number two girlfriend or something. The number one girlfriend was from Russia. Her name was Nadia.

Which isn’t important or anything.

What’s important is that I was trying to tell Starling (yes, our parents gave us weird names, and yes, I could slap them for it) that she didn’t need to sell her body for money, that she was better than that, that she was smart and sweet and talented.

But Starling was trying to tell me that the money was wicked good, much better than she’d ever get for any other job with her education and experience, and that Larbi was pretty much the greatest guy on earth.

Which was why we were going into his office. She was going to introduce me to him, and I was going to realize what a peach he was, and all my concerns would be erased. Whatever. Like that was going to happen.

But when we opened the door to his office—the back door, the one that came in through his bedroom—there was this guy standing there.

He was wearing a security uniform, but it didn’t fit him very well. The button-up shirt hugged his lean torso and strained to meet the pants that were cinched around his narrow hips.

He was hot. Like, ludicrously hot. He looked like one of those models on the front of those bear shifter romance books I’m always reading. Well, except for the fact that he was clothed.

I was so busy looking at the guy, whose gaze seemed to be lingering on my body as well, that I didn’t even notice the fact that Larbi was dead.

Not until my sister was screaming and throwing herself down on his body and shaking him. “What did you do to Larbi?” she screamed.

The man spread his hands. “Would you believe he was like that when I got here?”

“No way,” said Starling, and she stood up, picking up the gun that was on the desk, and pointing it straight at the guy. “You killed him.”

The man furrowed his brow. “Oh, come on, now. Put the gun down.”

“No,” said Starling. “You killed him, and I loved him, and now I’m going to kill you.”

“Loved him?” I said. “He was paying you for sex. He hired you.”

“It wasn’t like that at all,” said Starling, tears streaming down her face. “You don’t understand anything.”

“I understand that you have no respect for yourself,” I said. “I understand that you aren’t yourself. You’re my sister, and I would do anything—”

“He’s dead!” Starling screamed.

Well, there was that. I guessed it was a bad thing that he was dead. I mean, sort of. It wasn’t as if I thought he was a real nice guy or anything. This harem of his had upwards of thirty girls in it, and just because he was paying them bank didn’t mean that what he was doing wasn’t disgusting.

“Put the gun down,” said the man again.

Starling’s finger tensed on the trigger.

The man rolled his eyes. “All right, well, I want you to remember that I gave you a chance to put the gun down.”

Starling looked confused. She had the upper hand in this situation, right?

I was kind of confused too. But before I could really even make sense of that, the man grabbed me. He pulled me against his body, my back pressed into his chest, into his pelvis.

Oh, holy hell, he was like marble. I could feel how firm his body was through the layers of our clothes, and it made my pulse quicken. I tensed, warmth gathering between my legs.

Mentally, I scolded myself. It was pretty obvious that this guy had killed Prince Larbi. Now, I didn’t think Larbi was in the running for Humanitarian of the Year or anything, but that didn’t mean that I approved of running around killing people. And I certainly didn’t get a charge out of guys who were killers or anything.

But here I was, feeling warm feelings for this guy.

Our bodies were so close.

It was just because he was attractive, I told myself. He was hot—that was all. If he’d been ugly, I would never have—

He put a gun against my temple.

“Drop the gun,” he said to Starling, his voice a low growl.

CHAPTER TWO

Cade

I always kept a spare gun on a job. Never knew when I was going to run into trouble, and it wouldn’t do to be unarmed. I hadn’t expected trouble to be in the form of this barely-dressed, over-made-up girl, but life’s full of surprises. From what I gathered, these girls were sisters, and the gun-wielding girl was a member of Prince Larbi’s harem. The t-shirt girl was not.

Good.

Why I cared about whether or not she’d been fucking Prince Larbi, I didn’t know. I was holding her pretty close right now, and she was all softness and curves, and I was thinking about how nice it would be to bend her over the desk and—

Well, not with the dead body there.

Murder might get me charged up, but corpses didn’t.

I cleared my throat. “Drop the gun, or I shoot your sister.”

The girl in my arms quivered. “Don’t,” she whispered.

“It’s up to your sister here,” I said, glaring at the gun-wielding girl. The quivering made my cock stir. Inwardly, I cringed. I didn’t want her to feel it if I got hard. Why I cared, I didn’t really know. It was just embarrassing.

Of course, I was threatening to kill her, so that put a damper on any interaction we could possibly have.

It probably shouldn’t matter. I should probably be shameless, just drive my hard-on into the curve of her ass, dry hump her right then and then, like a dog. I had the gun. I could do what I liked.

But.

Well, just because I was a contract killer didn’t mean I was an asshole.

The gun-wielding girl took one hand off the gun. “I’m just going to call the police.”

“Don’t do that,” I said, jamming my gun tighter against her sister’s skull. I wouldn’t go to jail, of course. I was working for the government. But it would damage my reputation. I didn’t get arrested, ever. I got away clean. If I were to be entangled in the justice system, it would make me look as if I didn’t know what I was doing.

The girl in the robe hesitated.

“Put the gun down,” I said.

She put the gun down.

“Now,” I said. “Come away from the phone.”

She bit down on her lip.

Oh, damn it all to hell, it didn’t matter now. I could let go of the t-shirt girl and make a run for it, but the girl in the robe would call the other guards and they’d be on me before I got out of the building. This whole situation was fucked.

“Why did you do it?” said the girl in the robe. She let out a sob. “Why would you hurt him?”

I gritted my teeth. “Now, look here. You were not supposed to be here or to do any of this. If you hadn’t shown up, I would have simply walked out of here, and everything would have been fine. But now you’ve seen me—”

“Oh, God, you’re going to kill us, aren’t you? Because we can identify you.” Robe girl was lost in sobs, clutching her face, smearing mascara over her cheeks.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” I said. “Do you have any idea how unreliable eye-witnesses are? You wouldn’t recognize me in a million years. No, it’s only that there was a gun shot, and people heard it, and—”

The door burst open.

Yeah. That.

I turned to face the two guards who had entered the room, thrusting the girl out in front of me. “No one moves or the girl gets it!” Ha. I always did want to say that. I grinned.

The guards froze.

“Throw down your guns,” I said.

The guards hesitated.

I backed up. “Guns on the ground or I blow off her head.”

The girl in my arms shook again. She was terrified.

I felt a little guilty about that. Poor thing. She hadn’t done anything wrong. She wasn’t even fucking Prince Larbi. Anyway, she didn’t need to worry. I wasn’t going to shoot her in the head. That wasn’t my style. I might have been a contract killer, but I had a code. Kind of like Dexter, only I got paid for murdering people.

The guards exchanged a look, and then they both bent down and carefully lowered their guns to the ground.

“Good,” I said, backing up some more, taking the girl with me. “Now, we’re going out the door here and out of the building. When I get to the ground floor, if there’s anyone there waiting for me, I’ll blow her so full of holes, her mother wouldn’t be able to identify the body.”

The guards both flinched a little.

Inwardly, I grinned. I’d really sold that, I thought. I backed up again, going through the door, pulling the girl with me.

Once we were out of the office, I kicked the door closed, and then I turned around, pushing the girl ahead of me, and lowering the gun.

* * *

Shell

My heart was doing jumping jacks inside my rib cage. I had never been so terrified in my entire life. And for some reason, the fact that I’d been marginally turned on when all this started meant that my brain had crossed all the wires and was pumping the adrenaline between my thighs. With every beat of my heart, my pussy throbbed. I was getting wet.

But I was afraid. Really afraid. This guy was claiming that he was going to blow my head off, and that did not excite me. Being dead was not high on my list of turn-ons.

Once we were out of the office, he let go of me, pushing me forward.

I stumbled ahead of him.

He yanked me to my feet. “Run,” he said.

I didn’t. I didn’t move my legs. I wasn’t going to do what he said. He was going to kill me.

He wrapped an arm around my waist and picked me up. “I’m not going to kill you. I promise. Now, run.” He set me back down on the ground.

This time, I did run.

I don’t know why.

Possibly it was because I was all hot and bothered—scared and aroused at the same time—and my brain was clearly kicked into some kind of fight-or-flight-primitive scenario. Since fighting wasn’t an option—he was made of marble, remember—flight was all I had.

I ran.

He steered me out of another door in the prince’s bedroom and into a hallway. He seemed to know where he was going.

There was an elevator ahead.

He yanked me to a stop, shot a glance over his shoulder, and hit the down button.

I gasped, my heart racing, my breath coming in short bursts.

He rocked on his feet and gave me a sheepish smile. “Sorry about this.”

Seriously? I gaped at him.

The elevator opened.

He gestured with the gun. “Ladies first.”

“Fuck you,” I said. It was stupid to say that to a guy with a gun, of course, but as I mentioned, my brain wasn’t really functioning. All the blood in my body seemed to be heading between my legs. I was drenched down there.

Totally weird.

He pushed me into the elevator, just as the door to the prince’s bedroom opened up and the guards who’d failed to save us before burst out.

The elevator door closed behind us.

The man pushed the button for the ground floor. He looked me over. “Seriously, I know I said I would kill you, but I was just trying to get away. This is all just bad luck for both of us.” He smiled again.

I licked my lips. He had a nice smile. Also, now that we were close, I could see that he had long, long eyelashes. Too long for a boy. They ringed his eyes and softened his masculine face, making him look almost… pretty.

God. Why was I noticing shit like that? I swallowed. “You’re only saying that to lull me into a false sense of security.”

“No, I’m not.” He looked offended. Then he shrugged. He grinned again. “But it’s smart of you to say that. If you were really in danger as a hostage, I bet you’d live through it regardless. Never let your guard down.”

What? He was complimenting me? I was thoroughly confused.

The elevator door opened.

He snatched me back against him again, gun at my temple.

I whimpered. I couldn’t help it.

But there was no one there.

“Walk,” he said in my ear.

I walked. He had told me he wasn’t going to kill me, so maybe I should have simply refused to obey, called his bluff.

But with the cold metal of the barrel of a gun against my skin, I simply couldn’t afford to take that kind of a risk.

We went about ten feet to a door that opened out into the spring air. Outside, the sky was blue, dotted with tiny, fluffy clouds. There were birds chirping at the top of their lungs. There was a strip of well-manicured grass ahead of us, then the sidewalk, then a street. Across the road was a parking lot.

No one was out here, at least none of the guards were.

“Okay,” I said. “You got away. Now let me go.”

He moved the gun from my head to the small of my back.

I shivered. There was something intimate about that, something terrifying.

He looked around. “I don’t think so. They could be watching. You’re going to have to come with me. Sorry about that.”

“Come with you?” What? No, no, no, I was not going somewhere with this man who I was inappropriately attracted to. Definitely not.

“Not forever. Just until I can get out of here. Get clear. I’ll need some insurance, and you’ll do nicely.” He poked me with the gun. “We’re going across the street.”

I moved, hurrying ahead of the gun.

We crossed the strip of grass, the sidewalk, the crosswalk that went across the street, and then he pushed me inside the driver’s side of a black Ford Mustang.

“Crawl over to the other seat,” he told me.

I crawled. I guess he thought that if he let me get in the passenger side, that I would just jump out and run. Well, he had another thing coming, because I was just going to throw open that door the minute that I got—

He locked the doors, settling into the driver’s seat. “Sorry,” he said, and he really did sound contrite.

I glared at him.

“Look, this will all be over in a few hours,” he said. “I promise. You’ll have a fun story to tell your friends. Your boyfriend.”

“I don’t have a boyfriend,” I muttered, unsure why I was telling him that.

“Oh, too bad,” he said, but actually sounded pretty happy about that.

My lips parted, and I watched him turn the key in the ignition. “Are you flirting with me?” I said.

He laughed. “Flirting?” He raised his eyebrows at me. “Buckle up.” He backed the car up, one hand on the steering wheel, one hand pulling his own seatbelt over his body.

I was flung forward by the force of the car’s movement. I seized my seatbelt and pulled it on.

The car hurtled forward. I grasped the door handle for dear life.

He careened out of the parking lot and onto the street. Within minutes, the prince’s home was too far away to see. “Are you flirting with me?” he said

I snapped my head back forward to look at him. I sputtered. “I would never.”

He nodded, still smiling. The car was a five speed. He switched gears. “Well, me either.”

I sat back in the seat and stared straight ahead.

We took I-270 and drove out past Shady Grove, right to the edge of where the metro stations stopped. Then he took an exit, pulled into a parking lots in a strip mall that contained a Target, a Walgreens, and an H&R Block, and stopped the car.

He began unbuttoning the buttons on the security guard shirt he was wearing. “I know this is inconvenient, but you’ve got a cell phone, right? Someone can come pick you up?”

I was gaping at his bare chest as he revealed it. His skin was tawny. His stomach was flat and hard.

“Even if not,” he said, “you can probably walk to the metro from here.” He tugged the shirt off, tossed it in the back seat, and pulled out a t-shirt from back there.

I swallowed.

He grinned at me, holding the t-shirt. “Like what you see, then?”

I looked away.

He pulled the shirt over his head. “You could stay if you wanted.” He leaned across the car so that our faces were nearly touching. “You could show me what’s under your shirt too.”

My breath quickened again, and there was a throb from my clit, which couldn’t seem to calm down. I needed to get out of the car, but I hesitated.

I don’t know why I hesitated. In books, when women did stupid things because they found some hot guy really attractive, I hated it. It was the reason I read shifter books. It made more sense when some mystical alpha-bond-thing made you do it.

But I wasn’t doing anything. I pulled back from him, shaking my head.

“No?” He grinned. “Right, well, then get out of the car if you don’t mind? I’ve got places to be.”

Okay. He was letting me go. I should be relieved and ecstatic to be free of him.

Why wasn’t I?

I opened the door, and looked around for my purse out of instinct. But I didn’t have my purse. It was back in Starling’s bedroom at Prince Larbi’s house, where I’d left it. “Damn it,” I muttered.

“What?”

I shook my head, getting out of the car. “Nothing. I just don’t have a cell phone after all.”

He winced. “Oh. Too bad.” He looked truly sympathetic.

I wanted to hit him.

“Listen, I know I already said it, but I am sorry. Truly sorry.”

I slammed the door to the car in his face.

Screw his apologies. It was all his fault that I was stuck out here.

I turned and starting walking toward the Target. I’d have to ask to use a phone. Of course, I didn’t know anyone’s phone number by heart. They were all saved in my damned cell phone.

And I didn’t have any money for the metro, even if I could walk there.

That bastard might not have killed me, but that didn’t mean he’d done me any favors either.

CHAPTER THREE

Cade

I watched her walk away, admiring the way her tight jeans clung to her ass. Damn, she was gorgeous all right. And it was funny, because I could swear that she hadn’t hated me as much as she probably should have. Couldn’t figure that. She knew what I was. Had witnessed it. Seen the dead body and everything.

Maybe she was twisted in the head or something. Maybe she got off on corpses. She looked normal, but you never really could tell about people. Lots of people had really disturbing sexual fantasies.

Still, disturbing or not, I thought I’d be willing to go pretty far out of my own comfort zone to tap that.

“Not going to happen, Cade,” I said to myself, starting the car and pulling out of the parking lot.

I pulled out on the street, leaving the place behind when I realized that she probably didn’t have any money. She said she didn’t have a cell phone, so she probably couldn’t call anyone. And without money, she couldn’t take the metro. I was leaving her at the mercy of strangers. In the suburbs.

Damn it.

I turned the car around and pulled back into the parking lot.

It took a minute to locate her, but I finally saw her stepping up onto the sidewalk in front of the Target. I drove my car over and pulled up next to her, rolling down the window. “Hey, there.”

She turned to look at me. “What? Did you decide you wanted to kill me after all?”

“No!” I was wounded. “I told you I wouldn’t, love.”

She cocked her head. “What the fuck? Are you British? Were you British before?”

I cringed. Fuck. I had decided to give her a ride and somehow sent a message to my brain to relax and be nice to her, and that had gotten interpreted as letting down my guard entirely. Well, there was nothing for it now. “I usually try not to attract attention to myself when I’m on the job. Anything that would make me stand out, like a foreign accent…”

“So, you are British?”

“My mother was,” I said. “And people tend to learn to speak from their mothers, so…” Not worth explaining that my mother had died when I was only five years old and that I’d grown up with my aunt in Wales until I was ten, when my father had remarried and decided that he was capable of raising me again, so I’d been shipped back to Connecticut. “Look, you want a ride?”

“What?” She stared at me as if I had lost my mind.

I rubbed my chin. I probably had lost my mind, if it came down to it. “I feel bad about ruining your day. I figure I could drive you back home. Not back to the prince’s house, you understand. I can’t go back there. But assuming you live somewhere around here…?”

She sighed. “I live in town.”

“Where in town?”

She told me.

I eyed her. “Really? That neighborhood?”

“What?” she said. “I can handle myself.”

I supposed that she did seem fairly brave. “Well, I can too. I don’t mind driving you there. What do you say?”

She looked back at the Target for a second. Then she turned back to me. “Why?”

“What do you mean, why? Because you need a ride.”

“Yes, but why are you being nice to me? You were going to kill me earlier.”

“I was never going to kill you. I only said that I was.”

“And I’m supposed to believe that? If I get back in your car, you’ll just take me someplace and kill me and dump my body in the river or something.”

“I really wouldn’t,” I said. “I don’t have any reason to kill you.”

“And you had a reason to kill Larbi? You and him have some kind of disagreement?”

“No. Listen, I’m not admitting to anything here, but I may have received payment for some of my activities earlier in the day. I definitely haven’t got any business pertaining to you.”

She studied her fingers.

I waited.

She looked up at me.

I smiled. “Think of it as an apology. For screwing up your day.”

She sighed. She yanked open the door to the car and got inside. “I don’t know why I’m doing this.”

And I wasn’t entirely sure why I was offering her the ride in the first place.

* * *

Shell

But when we got back to my apartment, there were five police cars parked in the parking lot, so he kept driving.

“I’ll take you a block down,” he said. “You’ll have to walk from there.”

“They’re there a lot,” I said. “It might not have anything to do with you.”

“Better safe than sorry,” he said, pulling the car over by the curb.

I turned to look at him. The drive back had been uneventful, and we hadn’t really spoken. He’d fiddled with the radio the entire time, and the music had been too loud for conversation.

He gave me a lopsided smile. “Well, sorry again.”

In spite of myself, I smiled back. He was just too damned attractive. And weirdly, he seemed… nice. That probably meant he was a psychopath, though, right? I mean, what other kind of person could kill someone and act like it was nothing? The thought gave me chills, and I stopped smiling.

“What’s your name, incidentally?” he asked.

“Shell,” I said.

“Like Shelly?”

“Like Shell,” I said. “My parents had this idea that they wanted their children to have unique names. They thought they were doing us a favor, since their names are Christopher and Mary. But they had no idea what it would be like.” I grimaced. And here I was sharing personal information with him. Something about him made me feel comfortable. That was probably part of his psychopath charm, I guessed.

He considered and then flashed me another smile. “I like it. It’s pretty.” There was a sort of sparkle in his eyes, as if we were sharing a private joke.

I didn’t understand what it was about this guy that made me feel so drawn to him. But I guessed it hardly mattered, because I was a block from my house now. I was going to get out of the car and walk back to my place, and I was never going to see him again. I felt a little disappointed by that thought.

Right then, I should have been reaching for the door handle, taking off my seatbelt, getting out of the car. But I didn’t do any of those things. I just eyed him, taking in his broad shoulders and his powerful arms.

“What’s your name?” I asked him.

“They call me Ripper,” he said, still grinning.

“That’s not a name.”

He shrugged. “Maybe not, love. It’s all you’re going to get, though.”

“Why do they call you that?”

He scratched his neck. “I guess it’s meant to be like Jack the Ripper.”

I drew back.

He laughed. “Well, I’m not anything like him. I don’t kill prostitutes or anything. I almost never kill women at all.”

“Almost never?” I squeaked. What the hell did that mean?

“Well, sometimes there is a woman that needs killing. I don’t approve of a wholesale whitewash over an entire gender. There are bad women, just like there are bad men. Saying otherwise is sexist. It doesn’t give women credit. Paints them out as innocent, childlike creatures. I mean, what is this? The 1800s?”

I puzzled over that for several seconds. I supposed I could see his point. “So, you only kill bad people?”

He smoothed his eyebrow with one finger. “Bad probably isn’t the word for it. I mean, I guess since I kill people, I’m probably bad.”

I blinked. Now, I was just confused.

He wasn’t looking at me anymore. “You should probably go.” He leaned over and undid my seatbelt.

Now we were close.

My breath caught in my throat.

His face was inches from mine. “Not that I’m admitting to anything, mind,” he said in a soft voice.

I tried to make noise, but all that came out was a gurgling sound.

His tongue darted out and ran over the edge of his bottom lip. His lips were very full, I realized. He had long lashes and thick lips, and yet he simply oozed masculinity.

I had this urge to reach out and run my forefinger over his lips, trace them. I bit down on my own bottom lip.

His eyes searched mine, questioning me.

I drew in an audible breath. He was going to kiss me. We were close, and he was looking at me in that way that men did before they…

And I was going to let him. I was going to let the stone-cold psychopath kiss me. I was going to press my body up against his firm chest and run my hands over his shoulders, and—

He opened the door, pulling away from me.

The cool air whooshed inside the car.

I shook myself, feeling deflated.

He settled back into the driver’s seat, looking at the ceiling. “It was nice meeting you, Shell. Have a good life.”

I lurched forward. “Thanks for the ride,” I mumbled, and I got out of the car, feeling clumsy, as if my legs didn’t properly function. Once on solid ground, I leaned against the open door, steadying myself. I peered in the car at him.

He wasn’t looking at me anymore. He was staring straight ahead, and he was composed, not smiling anymore.

I shut the door. I backed away.

The car roared to life and pulled away from me, back onto the street. I watched until it was out of sight.

* * *

Shell

“So, he was tall?” said one of the cops. There were two of them in my living room. I had been right that the police cars in front of my apartment were there for a completely different reason than to talk to me. They were probably busting a drug deal or something. I don’t know. After I got home, I called my sister, though, expecting her to come over. (Even without my phone, I was able to access my Google contacts through my computer, so I could find her cell phone number that way.) But she was too busy hanging out with the prince’s family, who “needed” her. Instead, she sent over cops to question me.

“Tall, yes,” I said.

“Caucasian?”

I nodded. “Well, he was kind of… tan. Sort of a golden brown color.”

“He was of Asian descent?”

“No,” I said. “I don’t know. He said he was from England, so maybe he had Irish or Scottish blood? There are darker skinned Irish people, right?”

“Wait, he’s from England?” The cop made a sour face, turning to his partner. “You think we could catch a break, right? But this isn’t even going to fall under our jurisdiction, is it? We’ll do all this work, and then we’ll just have to turn him over to the British government. And the Feds will take all the credit, after we do all the legwork.”

The partner nodded. “It’s a bitch, all right.” He looked at me. “Oh, sorry, ma’am.”

“I don’t care if you swear,” I said. I rubbed my forehead. I wished they would just leave. I really wanted to relax and be alone. I was ashamed to admit it, but after everything I’d felt, what I really wanted was to curl up and spend some quality time with my vibrator. I needed to simply release some pressure. It wasn’t because I was still feeling residual attraction towards the guy who had basically kidnapped me.

Because that would be insane.

And I was not crazy.

“All right, all right,” said one of the cops. “So, dark skinned then.”

“Like a gypsy?” said the other cop. “Sorry. Uh, Roma?”

“They like to be called travelers,” supplied the other cop.

“No,” I said. “It wasn’t like that. He wasn’t dark skinned. He was… tan.”

“All right,” said the first cop. “What about hair color?”

“It was, um, brown.”

“And his eyes?”

“Brown?” I said.

“You don’t remember?”

“You were stuck in this man’s car for over an hour,” said the other cop. “You got a good look at him.”

“I did,” I said. “It’s only that I was… scared.” And distracted by his body and thinking about kissing him. I called up the image of him in front of me, almost ready to kiss me. I had looked into his eyes then. I knew the color. So, why was I lying to the cops about it?

Didn’t I want this guy to get caught? He was a murderer. And he had taken me away at gunpoint. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I felt as if I needed to give myself a strong talking to, so that I understood the depth of what I was dealing with here.

“How about we try this a different way?” said the cop. “Maybe if we eliminate colors. So tell us, were his eyes green?”

* * *

Cade

Once I got my car parked again, I turned on my cell phone. I usually kept it turned off during a job, because I didn’t want to be interrupted. There were a few missed calls from my contact, the guy who’d set up the hit on Prince Larbi.

Damn it. I knew that things had gone a little south today, but I hoped that I’d contained the situation.

Oh, who the hell was I kidding? My little stunt with Shell had jeopardized everything. It would have been one thing if I’d just left her at the Target like I’d wanted to in the first place. But the fact that I’d doubled back and given her a ride home and told her stuff about my mother and…

What the fuck was wrong with me?

It was as if I’d forgotten everything I needed to do a job properly. I had put the entire mission in danger, and I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what my damage was.

Like that last moment in the car with her?

What the fuck was that?

Did I actually think I could kiss her? What then? Would I ask her out for a coffee or a drink at the local pub? We could have a beer and laugh over the time where I jammed a gun into her skull and threatened to put so many bullet holes in her that her own mother wouldn’t recognize her.

Yeah, that was going to happen.

It wasn’t like there was anything all that special about her, anyway. She was pretty, sure, but I could go out and find a pretty girl to take home if I wanted. I did, when the urge got so intense that I couldn’t deal with it otherwise. I could charm a girl with my money and my accent and sparkling wit. But she could never know what I was. Because the minute that any woman figured that out, she was utterly disgusted by me. As she should be. I was a predator. I was a wolf amongst the sheep. A monster that hit behind a smile. No one could know how much I enjoyed what I did, how much the power of killing sent thrills through me.

I did my best to tame that urge, to keep it from getting out of control.

I knew that my urges were deviant and that there was no place for them in polite society. I had done my best to compartmentalize them and to use them in the best way I knew how. But giving in to them at all had a price. That price was companionship. No matter how many women I seduced, I would always be alone.

I knew that. I accepted that. It was the cost of doing business.

It was only that Shell knew. She had seen what I was, and she had still looked at me with interest in her eyes, even attraction. I could have sworn she wanted me to kiss her.

But that was stupid, and I knew it.

I dialed my contact on my phone. It rang several times before he picked up.

“Ripper.”

“Mr. Blue,” I said. We always spoke in code names. That way if I was ever captured or arrested, I couldn’t name the people who’d put me up to what I did. It was a matter of national security, supposedly. When I started taking these government jobs, I thought it would ease my conscience a bit. If what I was doing was for the good of the nation, then it couldn’t be so bad, could it? But the truth was, the government jobs were often more ruthless than the underworld ones. I was left with no illusions. There were more bad people on earth than I had ever imagined.

I was one of them, but at least I knew that I was bad.

I was fairly sure the others lied to themselves, told themselves that whatever they did was okay.

That hypocrisy was worse, in my book.

“Finally hearing back from you.”

“Yeah, well, I ran into some trouble getting clear after completing our little arrangement this afternoon. It’s only now that I’m able to call you back.”

“That trouble has a name, and she’s run to every major news network in the country. Starling Birch. A member of the prince’s harem who found the body. She’s shining a big spotlight on this.”

“Look, I’m sorry about all of it, but I didn’t anticipate—”

“It’s not your fault. These things happen. But we’re not pleased about Ms. Birch’s yammering mouth. We’d like it quieted before she exposes everything. The people involved in the ‘little arrangement’ involving Prince Larbi can’t afford to be uncovered. Would completing this assignment be something you’d be interested in?”

Holy shit. He wanted me to kill Shell’s sister. Well, I wouldn’t do that. Not because she was related to Shell or anything. I would never interact with Shell again. But because it was against my code. “Sorry, Mr. Blue. You know I don’t take jobs like that. I was pretty clear when we spoke before. I only kill other killers.”

“Prince Larbi—”

“Killer by proxy,” I said. “He funded murderers. He knew what he was doing.”

Mr. Blue was quiet for a minute. “One of the others on your team, then? They must not all have your… limitations.”

“No way, that makes me responsible by proxy,” I said. “If another guy on the team sets up something like that on his own, fine. But I’m not going to be party to it.”

He sighed.

“Sorry,” I said.

“I don’t suppose you’d be willing to get me in touch with—”

“No,” I said.

“Thank you for your time, Ripper.”

“Yeah.” I hung up.

Good, now that was out of the way. I could concentrate on what it was that I wanted to when I parked the car. I was across the street from Shell’s apartment building. I took out my binoculars and trained them on the windows. She lived in one of those rooms. Maybe I’d get lucky and get a look at her.

CHAPTER FOUR

Shell

“All right,” said the cop. “Maybe if you worked with a sketch artist?”

I shook my head. “I don’t…” I wasn’t even sure what kind of person I’d described to these guys. By the time they were done with me, I felt even less sure of what Ripper had even looked like. I remembered pieces of him—his lips, his eyelashes, his shoulders—but my overall picture of him was fuzzy.

And that was annoying, because he really had been pretty much the most attractive man I’d seen in real life, and I wanted to keep a mental image of him that I could call up at any time and admire.

He was bad news. I knew that. But I couldn’t help but fantasize that the almost-kiss in the car had actually transpired. That things had gone further between us, that I had felt his strong hands on my body. I thought about his fingers easing under my shirt, brushing the skin of my waist.

I shivered.

“…for your time.”

I shook myself. “What?”

“I was just thanking you for your time,” said the cop.

“Oh,” I said. “Yeah, sure.”

The walkie-talkie on the cop’s belt crackled. “Officer Sellers?”

He held up a finger and snatched it off his belt. “Sellers here.”

“You with the other Birch girl still?”

“Yeah,” he said.

“Well, you might want to leave the room for a minute.”

Sellers gave me an apologetic look and shuffled out of my living room.

I furrowed my brow. What the hell?

The other cop looked confused too. He looked back and forth between me and the path his partner had taken. Then he followed his partner out of the room.

I tapped my foot against the floor, straining to hear something, but I couldn’t hear anything.

Abruptly, the cops both came back into the room. “Ms. Birch? We’ve got some bad news.”

“Bad news?” Could this day get worse?

“It’s your sister. She’s disappeared.”

“What?” I twisted my hands together. “What do you mean, ‘disappeared’?”

“Well, she was scheduled to do a news interview at the top of the hour, and she didn’t show up. They checked with the Hassan family, specifically Prince Raakin, Larbi’s brother, who she’d been spending time with, and she wasn’t with him. No one knows where she is. Can you check to see if she’s tried to contact you?”

I shook my head. “I don’t have my phone anymore. I left it at Prince Larbi’s place. She said she was going to bring it by tomorrow.”

“Well,” said Sellers, “if she does get in touch with you, please let us know.”

“But what happened to her? Is she in danger?”

“Let’s hope not,” said the other cop.

I thrust my hands into my hair. Starling was missing? Oh, God, this didn’t sound good.

* * *

Shell

My roommate Celia was standing at the kitchen island, eating a slice of leftover pizza. “I can’t believe you saw someone get killed.”

“I didn’t. He was dead when we got in there.”

Celia shook her head. “Still.” She and I never talked. We’d met via Craigslist. She’d had the apartment, and I’d moved in about six months ago. We weren’t friends or anything. She worked a lot. I stayed home, but I was busy most of the time. We mostly communicated by leaving notes for each other on a dry erase board that she’d affixed to the front of the refrigerator. Celia gestured. “You want a piece of pizza?”

That was huge. We didn’t share things like food. We had clearly labeled shelves in the refrigerator and cabinet, and we didn’t touch each other’s stuff.

“Are you sure?” I said. “Because that would be awesome.” I realized that I was starving.

“Help yourself,” she said.

I opened the refrigerator and got myself out a slice from the cardboard box on her shelf. I took a bite. Oh, whoa, I hadn’t realized how hungry I was.

There was a knock on the door.

“Is that the cops again?” said Celia.

“I hope not,” I said, heading for the door. “Unless they’re coming to tell me that they found Starling and everything’s okay.” But when I opened the door, it was not the cops standing there. Instead, it was Austin Landry, my ex-fiance and ex-best friend, who had broken off our engagement because he’d realized he was attracted to men.

“Sweetie,” he said, holding out his arms.

I let him hug me. Austin was always pretty touchy-feely, even we when were only friends and weren’t dating yet. Maybe that was a sign that I should have noticed. But I didn’t.

To be fair, Austin had none of the tell-tale signs. He didn’t speak with a lisp, and he didn’t like musical theater, and he didn’t have good taste in clothes.

Maybe that was why he was in so much denial about it himself. I don’t know.

No, I did know.

Austin had tried very hard not to be gay, because his family was through-and-through Southern Baptist, and they were not the least bit cool with it. Breaking up our engagement and coming out to them meant that they had basically disowned him. He was alone now, and I felt bad for him. He and I had intertwined lives before all this happened. And it was habit for us to lean on each other when something bad happened.

But it was also painful.

Because for Austin, ending our engagement was freeing. Now, he could really let himself go, be the gay man he’d repressed out of himself. He could go to bars and hit on guys and let loose. But for me… it was just awful. All I could think was that I’d been in love with a guy who was gay, and I hadn’t even noticed.

I wished he wasn’t here.

I didn’t like seeing him these days.

I tried to tell him that I needed space, but he didn’t seem to get how devastating the whole thing was for me.

I pulled back. “Austin, what are you doing here?”

“I tried to call you when I saw it on the news,” he said. “But it just kept going to voicemail.” He peered around me into the apartment.

I sighed. “You want to come in?”

He pushed past me and went to sit down on the couch, making himself at home. “I got worried, so I decided to track you down.”

“Track me down?” I didn’t sit. I stood at the door and munched on my cold piece of pizza. How was I going to get rid of him?

“Well, track down your cell, anyway,” he said. “I still know your passwords for everything, so I just logged in and activated your GPS.”

I winced. His knowing my passwords was just another reminder of the intimacy we’d shared. I’d thought that I’d be spending the rest of my life with this guy. But now, he was just my vaguely creepy gay friend who knew my passwords to everything. It was probably time to change all the passwords up.

“And so, I found your phone.” He took it out of his pocket and handed it over.

“Oh, thanks,” I said. It was cool to have my phone back. “Where was it?”

“In Starling’s car,” he said. “She left it unlocked, or maybe she got stolen out of the car or something. I know she’s missing. You’ve got to be going out of your mind.”

I rubbed my forehead. “Starling didn’t take her car?”

“No.”

That meant he was right. She’d probably been kidnapped or something. “But I don’t understand. Who would want to kidnap Starling?”

“Maybe it’s the same guy who took you,” said Austin. “I mean, I was thinking the worst. I couldn’t get hold of you, and she was gone, and I was thinking that this guy had both of you, and that he was going to kill you both so that you couldn’t identify him. But if he let you go, then that doesn’t really make sense…”

“I don’t think it’s him,” I said.

“How’d you get away from the guy anyway?”

“I didn’t. He drove me home.”

Austin raised both his eyebrows. “You’re kidding.”

“He was really apologetic about the whole thing.”

“But he’s a murderer.”

“Yeah, but Prince Larbi was a jerk,” I said. “He treated Starling like a piece of meat.”

Austin got up, crossed the room, and held a hand to my forehead.

I slapped him away. “What are you doing?”

“I was wondering if you were running a fever and delirious. Because it just sounded to me like you were defending the guy who kidnapped you.”

“He didn’t really kidnap me,” I said. “He wasn’t holding me for ransom or anything.”

“Well, he took you against your will,” said Austin. “Honestly, I thought it took awhile for Stockholm syndrome to settle in.”

I made a face at him. But I felt guilty too, because I knew it was fucked up to be defending Ripper. How could I possibly defend someone who went by the name Ripper, anyway?

Celia poked her head into the living room. “Uh, I hate to be a dick, but I was planning on watching some TV tonight. I mean, if I had one in my room, I’d go there, but—”

“Sorry,” I said.

“I’m not trying to kick you out of your own living room,” said Celia. “You guys can totally chill in here with me.”

“We’ll go to Shell’s room,” said Austin, taking me by the hand.

Ugh. That was not cool. I did not want him in my bedroom. There needed to be boundaries.

But I didn’t say that. I didn’t know what to say.

I just let Austin drag me back into the bedroom.

And then I looked at my bed, which wasn’t made. And I looked at Austin. And I remembered how we used to have sex in that bed, and I used to think he liked it.

How I used to like it.

What kind of pathetic person doesn’t realize that she’s having sex with a gay guy? I twisted my hands together. “Austin, thanks for my phone and all, but the truth is, I’m actually feeling a little tired.”

“Of course you are.” He tugged up the covers on my bed. “Maybe you should lie down for a little bit.” He reached out and stroked my hair affectionately. “You want me to stay?”

“No, that’s okay.”

“It’s not a problem,” he said. “I’m here for you, no matter what. Whatever you need.”

What I needed was for him to go. But I didn’t know how to say that without being rude. And Austin was actually kind of fragile, that was the thing. It was worse now that his family had told him that he was the spawn of Satan and that they were praying for him to see the light and come back to Jesus and pussy. His foundation was gone. So any little thing made him crumple.

I sat down on the bed and buried my face in my hands.

He sat down next to me and rubbed my back. “It’s going to be okay, Shell. I’m sure they’ll find Starling soon.”

I had an urge to turn around and throw myself into his arms. It would be so nice to be close to him again. But it would also be strange, and it would just end up hurting even worse. I was beginning to feel like I might start crying.

And that made me feel guilty too, because I should have been crying about the fact that my sister was missing, not that my fiance had turned out to be a homosexual. But that was me, I guessed. I was always a little bit too selfish, especially when it came to Starling.

Hell, it was all my fault that she’d joined a harem in the first place.

I just never thought it would all get so out of hand.

She never used to be this way. When we were kids, Starling was the golden child. She was older than me by a year, and she did everything perfectly. She got straight As. She was the student-body president of her sophomore class. She won Homecoming Queen. She was captain of the flag team and she was a National Merit Scholar.

And then a video of her having sex with her boyfriend got put on the Internet.

Everyone in the school saw it.

She was never the same after that.

Her grades plummeted. She dropped out of all her extra-curriculars. She decided to go to a community college, and then she dropped out after two semesters but didn’t tell anyone.

She started working in some upscale gentleman’s burlesque club, which was just a nice way of saying strip club.

That was how she found out about the job with the prince. She actually auditioned for the privilege of being his personal whore. That was how Starling seemed to think now. She didn’t think she was worth anything other than being sexy. I hated that, and I wanted to help her.

I was never going to stop trying to help her, because it was all I could do to make up for what happened to her, anyway.

“She’s got to be out there somewhere,” said Austin. “Maybe she just found another prince or something. I mean, didn’t she just disappear when she first left to be with that Larbi guy?”

“No, she told us she had won an exchange program, and that she’d be studying abroad for a month,” I said. The gig with Larbi had been short-term to begin with, but Starling had apparently made such an impression on him that he’d extended her contract indefinitely, and he took her all around the world with him. She had been back in the states for only a few weeks, and I thought it would be my chance to get through to her.

But it turned out that it was only going to be her chance to be kidnapped and… and…

God, what was happening to her?

I did start crying then. I loved my sister, even if it didn’t seem like it sometimes. And my parents… Oh, holy hell, my father was probably flipping his lid right now. Starling had come out on national TV— “Did you see the news reports with Starling?” I asked Austin.

“Yeah, that’s why I was worried.”

“Did she admit that she was in a harem?” I said.

“She called herself Larbi’s girlfriend,” he said.

“Oh,” I said. “Good. So my parents—”

“Well, then all the commentators starting speculating that she was actually just part of Larbi’s harem,” said Austin.

“Oh,” I said in a different voice.

“You want to call your mom?” he said, and there was a hitch in his voice, because he couldn’t call his own mom anymore.

I looked down at my phone. “Not really, but I probably should.” I sighed.

My phone vibrated in my hand.

I jumped.

Austin laughed. “Steady there. Just a text notification.”

“I know that.” I was irritated with him for pointing out that I was nervous. I stood up, unlocking my phone.

It was a text message from a number I didn’t recognize. I opened it.

Come to Kingsley Park alone. Tell no one. No police. Or your sister dies.

I swallowed hard.

“What is it?” said Austin.

I opened my mouth to answer.

Tell no one. Or your sister dies.

“Nothing,” I said. “It’s just an update that needs downloaded.”

He nodded slowly. “Did that upset you, because you look—”

“You know what, Austin? You’re the one that’s upsetting me.” My voice was thick. I needed to get rid of him so that I could go and save Starling. I had to go alone. Sure, the whole thing sounded like a trap, and it was probably really stupid not to go to the police, but if I got Starling killed, I couldn’t live with myself. That simply wasn’t an option.

“Me?” He looked hurt. “What did I do?”

“You’re here. I’ve told you only eighteen trillion times that I need space, and it’s like you’re deaf.”

“But… I brought back your phone. Starling’s missing… Shell, we’re best friends.”

I shook my head at him, tears filling my eyes. “No. We’re not. You are the man who broke my heart, and every time I see you, it just brings it all back.”

He got up off the bed. “I never meant to hurt you—”

“I know that, but you still did,” I said.

He absorbed this.

I fiddled with my phone, turning it over end to end. “I want you to go,” I whispered.

His jaw twitched. Then he nodded, once, and turned to the door. He walked out, his shoulders bowed, and he didn’t say another word.

I collapsed on the bed. Holy hell, what had I done to him? Austin didn’t have anyone. I shouldn’t have hurt him that way.

Then I looked back at the text message. I had to do it. I couldn’t let Starling die.

CHAPTER FIVE

Cade

I got lucky, and I found her in about the tenth window I looked into. It was a bedroom, the curtains opened wide and light filtering out everywhere. I could see everything in the room, from her rust-colored comforter to her open closet, clothes spilling out onto the floor. The room was a little messy.

I liked that.

I didn’t like incredible order, like living in a museum.

However, the room had also obviously been decorated by someone with an eye for it. It was artfully minimalistic, just a few candles and knick-knacks. On the wall were framed cartoon-style drawings of people.

What was that about?

But I stopped thinking about her drawings when the guy came into the room.

Huh.

I thought she didn’t have a boyfriend.

Eh, what the hell was I doing?

I was a fucking peeping Tom, that’s what.

I felt a wave of shame run through me. I wasn’t generally this kind of guy, pathetically taking his pleasure by watching girls through their windows. And to be fair, I hadn’t started looking for her in the hope she’d take off her clothes in front of an open window or anything like that.

I guessed if that happened, it wouldn’t be the worst thing on earth.

But I simply wanted to see her again. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to her.

However, it was becoming clear that she was in a relationship, not that it mattered, because there was no future for us anyway. Watching her through the window like this was obscene, and I needed to pack up and go.

But.

I didn’t.

I just watched the guy, watching how the two of them were sitting on the bed together, but noting that they weren’t touching. The guy seemed to want to touch her several times. He reached out and then pulled back.

Well, that was interesting.

Maybe I was wrong. Maybe they weren’t a couple after all.

Not that I cared.

I was leaving any second now.

Except it wasn’t me that left. It was the guy. He got up off the bed and stared at her like a puppy that had been kicked.

Oh, they were having an argument. I could see it now in her posture. She was tense. She was yelling.

He left, skulking out of the room.

She sat down on the bed, burying her hands in her hair.

Then she studied her phone for several seconds.

Tossing it on the bed, she got up and went to her closet. She pulled her shirt over her head.

I winced a little, but I didn’t look away. She was wearing a nude, cotton bra. Nothing fancy. Still, I liked that it made her look practically naked. I liked that I could see her small waist and the individual slope of each of her breasts.

She tugged a t-shirt over her head, something dark and high-collared. She shed her pants as well. But she pulled on a pair of yoga pants so quickly I hardly had the chance to see more than a hint of her panties.

It was enough to make me hard.

I considered doing it. Stroking myself off in the car, watching her, even if it would hurt my pride.

But she was pulling her hair into a tight ponytail and leaving her bedroom.

Was she going to work out? Take a jog?

I waited, and, sure enough, a few minutes later, she emerged out of the front of the building. She started down the sidewalk, but she wasn’t jogging, just walking at a good clip.

She disappeared around the corner.

I started the car and followed her.

But she crossed the street and entered a parking garage.

I debated following her in there.

It was getting dark outside, and I didn’t think I’d be able to tell which car was hers if she came out. Then a car pulled out of the garage, and I saw that an overhead light shone directly into the windshield, illuminating the driver as they waited for the gate to lift.

Good. I wouldn’t need to follow her inside then. I’d simply wait.

Where was she going? Maybe she was driving to a park to take a jog or something. If so, I was going to feel ridiculous.

What are you going to do, Cade? I taunted myself. Follow her down the trail and watch her jiggly bits go up and down while she’s running?

My cock throbbed at the visual. The truth was that it had been a day of high adrenaline and tension with very little release. Rubbing one out was probably inevitable at this point. I didn’t see myself managing to go through the ritual of buying a girl drinks and pretending to care about her job and friends just to get into her pants.

If I had any sense, I’d head home and masturbate in bed, in front of my TV, and afterward, maybe I’d pick up some take-out. I was in the mood for Thai, maybe. No, Chinese.

Shell’s car appeared behind the gate.

It opened.

She pulled out.

I waited for a few seconds, putting some distance between us, and then I pulled out behind her.

So, I didn’t have any sense. Since when was that news?

* * *

Shell

I arrived at Kingsley Park, and it was deserted. I’d never been here at this time of night, but I knew it had a bad reputation as a place where gangs dumped bodies or people went to get meth. Not that I knew anyone who did meth or anything. But, you know, I heard things. The text message hadn’t been specific about where I should go or what I should do, so I just got out of my car and peered around me, waiting for someone to say something.

After an agonizingly long five minutes, I decided to text back the number that had gotten in touch with me.

Here, I typed. Now what?

I stared at my phone, waiting for it to vibrate and come alive with a response.

Instead, I heard the sounds of sirens in the distance, of cars zooming by on the nearby highway.

I clutched the phone tighter.

I didn’t know if I could handle another five minutes in this place. I was fairly sure that I was going to be assaulted by some gang member who was hiding behind some of the trees, all of which looked pretty scraggly, I had to admit. The gang member would have to be fairly thin.

And then something moved at the periphery of my vision, and I turned, my heart racing.

The man who’d texted me, he was here.

Had to be.

And sure enough, there was a shadowy figure approaching me. He was tall, with broad shoulders and a tapered waist. He moved with liquid grace, like a panther on the hunt in the darkness, and I felt something quicken within me.

Wait a second.

I knew this person.

“Ripper?” I said. “You stole my sister?”

He stepped closer. “Stole your…? What are you doing out here alone? It’s not safe, you know. If you want, I could tell you about at least six other parks that are much better places to take a jog. Not that you seem to be jogging.”

“I can’t believe you took her,” I said. “Why would you want to hurt Starling? Is someone paying you to kill her? And I thought you had some kind of code.” I was feeling furious, and it wiped away any fear that I probably should have been experiencing. Ripper was obviously a pretty dangerous man, but I wasn’t afraid of him. I supposed I had a healthy… respect for him. I realized that he could be violent if he wanted. But I had a certainty, a sort of subconscious knowledge that he wouldn’t hurt me. Still, I found what he’d done utterly repulsive.

“I’m not going to kill your sister.” He was right next to me now, his body towering over me. “What are you going on about?”

“After everything, after you let me go, then you just up and do this. Is it some kind of game for you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He took me by the shoulders.

The touch went through me like a jolt. My body suddenly felt warm and weak. I struggled to gather my thoughts.

“Focus,” he said, but he seemed affected by our touching as well. His voice had gone softer, lower. “What are you doing out here?”

“I got a text,” I said, looking into his eyes. His light blue eyes, blue as the early morning sky. “I…” I bit my lip. What was it about this man? He was so hulking and imposing and raw. I felt myself unraveling every time I was close to him. And we were close now. Oh, so close.

His hands were warm and firm around my shoulders. He cocked his head to one side and his lips parted.

I leaned in, moving nearer to him. My voice was barely audible. “If you didn’t send the text, then who did?”

He shook his head. “What did it say?”

“It said to come alone and not to tell anyone or Starling would… would…” I needed to break away from him. I was getting lost in his eyes and my sister was in danger, and I wasn’t even sure if I could trust that he wasn’t the person who had sent me that text.

Of course, he didn’t think that I even had my cell phone, so…

His hand moved to my cheek, just the barest of brushes against my jaw. “It isn’t safe here, love,” he murmured.

I shut my eyes. “I have to save Starling. I can’t let her down. Not again.” But my words sounded far away, breathy and tinged with desire.

His fingers moved higher, to caress my eyebrow.

I parted my lips.

And he kissed me.

I sighed, my hands going to his shoulders, his hulking frame. He was firm and solid. I felt my body start to get loose and pliant.

His mouth was hot, his tongue searing me, claiming me. He made a noise in the back of his throat, something guttural.

I clutched him, molding my body against his.

He moved us, and I stumbled backwards two steps. We collided with my car. He pressed me into the cold metal, his hand threading into my hair, cupping the back of my head.

I ran my hands over his back, over the firmness of him. I let my hands settle on his narrow hips, and I yanked them against me.

He drove his pelvis against mine. His tongue assaulted mine, all the while holding my head in place so that I couldn’t stop him. I was at his mercy as he kissed me senseless.

I didn’t want the kiss to end. It had been so long since I’d been good and kissed like this. Actually, I’d never experienced a kiss quite like this. He was like a force of nature, like the gusting wind, and he was holding it all back behind the thinnest of veneers. I wanted him to let go, to give in and take me hard and hot and harsh. I wanted all of him, all of this bundled-up passion and intensity.

I didn’t think anyone had ever felt that for me before.

His other hand traveled down my shoulder, over my arm.

Shivers went through me in its wake.

He traced my waist, my hip.

I sighed against his mouth.

From somewhere close by, someone cleared his throat.

At first, neither of us reacted. It was too strange, too alien to what we were feeling, and besides, no one else was there but us anyway.

The sound came again, louder and more pointed this time. Someone—a male someone—was clearing his throat.

Slowly, Ripper broke the kiss, but he continued to hold onto me.

We both turned our heads in the direction of the noise.

CHAPTER SIX

Cade

I really didn’t want to be interrupted at that moment. I was about two seconds from getting to second base, for one thing, and my whole body was thrumming with it, with wanting her and touching her and losing myself in her.

It didn’t make sense for me to be making out with her, and I knew that the minute we stopped kissing, we’d both realize that, and that the only way for it to keep happening was not to stop, never to stop, to keep going until the end of time, the both of us tangled up in each other, her hands urging me against her, pressing our bodies tighter and tighter…

But I recognized the voice of the person who was interrupting us, and it all began to fall into place, pieces crashing against each other. I understood it now. “Ice,” I said, through clenched teeth. “Of course they called you.”

Ice winked at me. He was wearing his trademark ski mask. Wore it on every job, so that the only thing anyone ever saw was his eyes. His mouth and nose were covered in black knit material. “Gotta say, I’m a little surprised to find you here.”

I stepped away from Shell, dragging a hand over my face. “You know, when they offered me the job, it was only for one girl.”

“Yeah, I been watching the news,” said Ice. “I convinced them it only made sense to do them both.” He eyed Shell, a hungry look in his eyes.

I didn’t like the look, mostly because I knew what he was feeling. I craved the moment of the kill just as much as Ice did. It was what marked us, made us the same. Not all men in our line of business really liked killing. Some of them did it just for the cash, and they’d had to work hard to make sure that they weren’t bothered by it. Still, I knew that they were troubled by nightmares, by guilt. Not me. If I ever felt guilty, it was only for liking it so damned much.

That was why I had the code. The code kept me in line.

It was simple:

Only kill for money, never for pleasure.

Only kill people with blood on their hands.

Ice, now, he didn’t have any kind of code. He was a mercenary, though, and he liked his cash. I could easily see him negotiating a way to get a chance to kill more than one girl. Ice liked killing girls the best. Young, attractive girls. This job… it was his idea of heaven.

I felt bile rising in the back of my throat.

“Two-for-one special,” he said, and I could hear the satisfaction in his voice.

Shell looked back and forth between us. “You’re the one who texted me?” she said to Ice.

He nodded once.

She turned to me. “And you know each other?”

“We used to know each other,” I said, glaring at Ice. He used to be my best friend. But now, I could only categorize him as an enemy. The worst kind. One who already knew all my secrets.

She looked back at him, and her voice cracked. “And you’re going to kill me?”

Ice chuckled. “I’ll do it fast if you want. I like to stretch it out, but if you ask nice—”

“He’s not going to kill you,” I said darkly.

Ice looked at me. “Oh, excuse me. I realize you weren’t done with her. So, go on, then, have your way with her. And maybe if you ask nice, I’ll let you do her instead of me. I do have the sister, after all.”

I looked back at Shell. Ice was being paid for a job, and even if I prevented him from killing Shell’s sister, that wasn’t going to stop Mr. Blue and his lot. Still, I couldn’t very well let her sister get killed, could I? Not if I ever wanted her to kiss me again.

* * *

Shell

I felt out of breath and my lips felt bruised.

Now I could sense Ripper near me, somehow. I could still taste him, and I was hyperaware of every move he made, every breath he took.

I wanted to touch him again.

Even though it was even more obvious that he was a dangerous man. Somehow, though, the danger was exciting me. It was all mixed up in my attraction—my lust—for him, and I couldn’t tell where the fear ended and the desire began.

I wanted him.

And the other man, the killer who had Starling, well, everything was getting blunted by Ripper’s presence. Ripper was like the sun, shining so brilliantly that I couldn’t pay attention to anything else. Even though I should have been thinking about it. I should have been frightened.

These two men knew each other, and the Ice man seemed to be under the impression that Ripper wouldn’t mind killing me himself. I knew that wasn’t true. I could feel it, and I didn’t question it, just clung to it with a certainty that seemed right and good.

But if I hadn’t been functioning so much on instinct, then I might have realized that didn’t make any sense. I might not have trusted it.

Ripper stepped between me and Ice. “You’re not killing her. No one’s killing her.”

“Oh, I get it. You’re being chivalrous until you get her into bed.” Ice laughed, and it sounded ugly. “Makes women easier to deal with that way, doesn’t it? You don’t have to deal with them struggling and trying to bite your nose off. You never were much for anything exciting.”

I was disgusted. What was this Ice man, and what was he going to do with Starling?

“Think what you like,” said Ripper. “I won’t have you anywhere near her.”

“And the sister?” said Ice.

Ripper turned to look at me. His gaze cut through me, waking up my core, making me tingle. He spoke in a low, raspy voice, one that only I could hear, and it was full of promise. “Odds are you’re never going to suck my cock if I let him kill your sister, are you?”

I choked, scrabbling against the car for balance. I felt as if his words were knocking me over. It was completely the worst thing to say to me, and yet there was something powerful about his coarse demand. I felt my sex throb. “I’m not going to suck your cock,” I managed.

He smiled at me, sure of himself. “Trust me. You most definitely will.”

Another throb, this one making me clench a little. I shook my head wordlessly.

He whipped back around to face Ice. “Not the sister either.”

“You can’t stop me,” said Ice.

Ripper polished his fingernails on his shirt and then surveyed them, fingers bent. “Oh, I think I could stop you.” He looked up at Ice, a smile taking over his face. “Shall I try, then?”

Ice smirked. It was obvious, even through his mask. “All right. That could be fun, I guess. You try. You won’t even be able to find me.”

“I will.” Ripper raised his eyebrows. “But you have to promise not to kill her while I’m looking. That wouldn’t be very sportsmanlike.”

Were they really talking about this like it was some kind of game? Did my sister’s life mean nothing to Ripper? Was he really only saving her because he wanted a blow job?

“I’ll give you two days,” said Ice. “And if you haven’t stopped me, I get that one too.” He pointed at me.

Ripper made a sour face. “She’s not part of this.”

“Either she’s part of this, or there’s no deal. I’ll go back and cut out the sister’s intestines and feed them to her.”

“Oh, don’t be disgusting.” Ripper rolled his eyes. “No one can live long enough to eat their own intestines anyway.”

“Maybe not.” Ice sounded a little sulky. “Still, it’s all or nothing. Both girls. Is it a deal or not?”

“Fine,” said Ripper.

“Fine,” said Ice.

They stared each other down for several minutes.

And then Ice darted off into the darkness.

* * *

Shell

Ripper was sitting on the couch in my apartment, staring intently at his laptop.

It was dark. I hadn’t bothered to turn on the lights.

Celia was asleep in her bedroom, and I kept worrying that we were going to be too loud and wake her up. Well, it was mostly me who was being loud. I was anxious, and every time I talked about it, my voice started to rise shrilly.

“There’s no way you can trust him not to kill her. He doesn’t strike me as the kind of person who would keep his word,” I said. I was sitting across from him in an easy chair, squeezing a pillow.

“Maybe not,” Ripper said absently. The light of the laptop screen lit up his face, making him look exotic and gorgeous. His fingers moved over the mousepad.

“Well, we have to find him now.”

“I’m trying to find him.” Ripper still didn’t look up. His voice was conversational. He wasn’t the least bit upset.

I, however, was losing my shit. “What he said about feeding her intestines—”

“I told you, that’s not even humanly possible.”

“Well, he could still kill her, right?”

“Maybe,” he said.

“So, why aren’t you doing something?”

“I’m trying to figure out where he might be.”

“How?”

“I have files on this laptop, from when he and I used to work together. There are kill sites he’s used before, places he might have taken your sister.”

“Kill sites?” I squeezed the pillow even tighter, and my voice topped out at a pitch so high I hadn’t even known I could speak that way. “You have kill sites, too, huh? That’s like your job. Killing people.”

He shut the laptop. “What are the odds that you’re going to shut up anytime soon?”

“Shut up?” I got up out of the chair. “How dare you? My sister is in danger, and I’m going out of my mind worrying about her—”

“Yes,” he said. “And I don’t mean to make a big thing of it, love, but if it weren’t for me, you and your sister would both be dead by now.” He considered. “Well, maybe he’d be slowly killing one of you while the other watched, but—”

“Oh my God.”

“Sorry.”

I rubbed my forehead. “Look, it isn’t that I’m not grateful, and I certainly am not going to turn down your help, but the thing is, I just… I don’t even understand why you are helping me.”

He mused, rubbing his fingertips against the bottom of his chin. “I’m not real clear on that either, to be honest.”

I folded my arms over my chest. “You don’t know?”

“I think it’s because I kind of have a crush on you.” He flashed me a white-toothed smile.

“Crush?” What the flying fuck? He could not be serious. “Who has crushes besides twelve-year-old girls?”

He laughed. “Me apparently. And you.”

“I do not have a crush.”

“Sure you do. On me. I mean, why else would you let a contract killer into your house? Not that I’m admitting to anything, mind you.”

I rolled my eyes. “Because you said you’d save my sister, that’s why.”

“Oh, so, it’s all about her.”

“Yes. Despite the fact that you think you can domineer me into giving you a blow job or something, the world does not work that way. When men act like total smug bastards with women, it actually turns us off. You’re a total creeper.”

He nodded slowly. “Yeah, I’m definitely getting that sense from you, love. Like you’re turned off by me. That’s exactly what… actually, no. I don’t get that at all. What I’m basically sensing is that you’d like to rip my clothes off.”

That goddamned accent. He shouldn’t be allowed to have an accent like that. And there was no way on earth that I was going to concede that I wanted him. I did, of course, but he absolutely didn’t need to know that. I sucked in a breath and stared him down. “Well, you’re wrong.”

“Am I now?” He was really smiling now. He set the laptop down on the couch and stood up.

I backed up instinctively, all the way into the wall.

He closed the distance between us.

Now I was trapped. I clutched at the wall, wincing. “Go sit down and look through your files. I’ll be quiet. I promise.”

He leaned over me, settling one hand on the wall, so that his arm was blocking my path to the doorway. “You do want me.” His voice was quiet.

I shook my head, biting my lip.

He seized my chin, holding it in place. “You do,” he insisted. He kissed me—quickly taking my lips, invading my mouth, and then pulling back.

I gasped and reached out to touch his chest.

“Say it,” he said.

I nodded. “Yes.”

“Yes what?”

“Yes,” I managed, “I want you.” It felt difficult to get air all of the sudden. My hand flattened against his rock hard chest. I could feel the shape of his muscles through his shirt.

“Good.” He put his forehead against mine, and for just a second, I saw a vulnerability in his eyes, as if—for all his bravado—he hadn’t really been sure of me. “Because I have wanted you all goddamned day.” His voice was rough.

I put my other hand on his chest.

He kissed me again, hot and wet, assaulting my mouth.

I moved my hands lower, to his stomach. It was just as firm as the rest of him.

He put his hands on my waist, skimmed it, and then let them move higher, to my breasts. He cupped them, rubbed his thumbs over my nipples.

They stiffened under my shirt and bra. I let out a little moan.

The sound seemed to galvanize him. One of his hands moved down my body, thrusting under the waist of my pants, finding the center of me.

I let out a muffled cry as a shot of bliss went through me.

He urged my hand lower on his body, and I fumbled to open his fly.

All the while, he teased and stroked me, rubbing my clit with two fingers.

Pleasure splintered through me, and I wrapped my hand around the girth of him and stroked.

He grunted. He put his mouth on mine again.

I felt that, felt his tongue dancing with mine. I felt his erection pulsing against my movement. But all that mattered were his fingers as they pushed at me, prodded me. Everything was starting to well up into a ball of ever-expanding pink light, and I was floating in it.

The pleasure was going to overtake me if I let it, and I found that I wanted to surrender to it, wanted it badly.

This felt too good. It was heat and light and joy and wondrousness, and I kissed him harder, pumped at him harder, wanting to push myself over the brink, tumble into the place where everything was bright and hot and nice, so nice…

I had my eyes squeezed shut against it.

And then it came for me. The deepest, most intense pleasure that I thought I’d ever experienced. It expanded all at once, flooding me with such brightness. I was drowning.

And the waves were coming again and again, radiating out from the center, bathing me in this lovely feeling.

“Good,” he was whispering into my skin. “That’s it. Good girl.”

And I felt him explode against my palm, just as the waves of my climax were beginning to crest.

He twitched against me, my own orgasm turned inside out.

It seemed to go on and on, both of us suspended in a moment together, spasming together, lost together.

And I didn’t move, and neither did he. His forehead was resting on my shoulder, and he was panting, and I could feel his heat against the front of me and the cool smoothness of the wall behind me.

I opened my eyes.

Slowly, he pulled back.

We looked at each other.

He took several steps backwards, tucking himself back into his pants. “Sorry,” he mumbled, and he wasn’t looking at me.

I was shaking, remnants of the mother of all orgasms still rippling through me. My hand was covered in his ejaculate.

He went back over to the couch and picked up the laptop.

I got myself a tissue—no, three—with my clean hand. I wiped my other hand off.

He rubbed his chin. “Where the fuck would he go?” he muttered to himself.

I swallowed.

CHAPTER SEVEN

Cade

I glared at the computer screen.

What the fuck had I just done? It was beneath me, seriously. I didn’t think I’d ever been such a bumbling idiot with a woman before.

I watched her duck out of the room, heard the spigot come on it the bathroom. She was undoubtedly washing her hand off.

I cringed.

I meant that to be something else, not some adolescent embarrassment.

But it had been a tense day, and I didn’t have it in me to stretch anything out. I hadn’t been able to control myself. The minute she started making noise, the minute I had my fingers against her wet heat…

I drew in a shaky breath just thinking about it.

She must have been wound up pretty tight too, considering how easily she fell apart under my fingers.

I remembered the sensation of her clit twitching under my finger.

Fuck.

I should say something to her.

Sure. Like… what would I say?

Screw it. I was just going to pretend it never happened. Or that I did it on purpose. I squared my shoulders, shifting on the couch, and forced myself to focus on the computer screen. I scrolled through folders and folders of receipts for money.

It might have seemed counterintuitive to keep files on an illegal business, but one of the very real problems of making lots of money illegally was the threat of the IRS. Oftentimes, no one could figure out a way to prove you were a murderer, but they took you down for tax evasion instead. Since there were no records, they could make all kinds of wild estimations of how much money you made.

My files didn’t mention who paid me or the other killers in my organization, and they didn’t mention what it was that we did. But each one detailed how much money we’d made.

And we all paid the proper amount of taxes on the money. That was part of the deal if guys wanted to work with me. They had to pay their taxes.

Of course, when I turned in the tax forms, I didn’t say I was a hitman.

Anyway, I was scrolling through the receipts for the jobs that Ice had done when he worked with me. I figured that something would jog my memory if I did that.

But thus far, I had come up with nothing.

Ice had a specific kill site that he liked to use. It was an old apartment building complete with a working furnace in the basement. He didn’t used that furnace to burn bodies—it wasn’t really a reliable way to get rid of a body, after all. Some fragments were always left and those fragments were identifiable. A furnace with a bunch of different people’s bones in it?

That was just stupid.

But Ice did use the furnace to burn other things—clothes he wore, fabric he put down to catch the mess, etc.

Ice was not the kind of guy that you called if you wanted a simple, easy, clean hit. He didn’t like to simply shoot someone in the head. He liked to take his time. He enjoyed pain, enjoyed stretching it out.

He was a pretty disturbed individual.

And, coming from me, that’s saying something.

But it would be stupid for Ice to go to that kill site, because he knew that I knew about it.

Besides, he wasn’t going to kill Starling—

Well, Shell could be right about that. He might kill her, might break our deal. Leaving him with a pretty live girl for a couple days was like locking an alcoholic in a room with a bottle of whiskey and expecting him not to drink it.

So, it was better that I find him as soon as possible.

But I didn’t know where to look for him.

If he didn’t use that kill site, then there were a handful of other places he’d gone, but he’d never gone to any of them more than once. I could check all of them, I supposed, but I really wanted a better plan of attack than that. I needed something to narrow it down.

I clicked open a text file and quickly typed out the names of the other places. I needed to look at them, all in one place.

Now, I would try to eliminate them.

Shell gingerly sat down on the couch, several feet away from me. She perched on the edge. “Um, do you—”

“Stop.” I held up a finger. “Let’s not have that conversation, okay?”

“I wasn’t going to say anything about…” She sucked in breath through her nose. “What are you doing right now?”

“I’m trying to eliminate places that Ice could have gone.”

“Eliminate them? I don’t understand.”

“Look, he used to use a kill site all the time, but he wouldn’t go there, because he knows that I know about it, so he might have used some other places, places that aren’t familiar to either him or me. I just have to try to figure out which ones are likely. So, if I can eliminate a few, that would help.”

“But you know about these too,” she said.

“What?”

“You said that he wouldn’t go to the first site because you know about it, but if you know about all the sites, does that matter?”

I furrowed my brow. “Of course it matters.” But now I wasn’t quite sure. I was starting to think about it a little differently. I dragged a hand over my face, rubbing my jaw. “Oh, hang on. Hang on. He would know that I wouldn’t expect him to go to that site. Maybe he’d go there anyway.”

“He would?”

I nodded, grinning. “Yeah. Because it’s so obvious that it makes it the perfect, brilliant hiding place.”

Shell nodded slowly. “I guess I can see that. But would he know that you would know that he would think that and then—”

“Stop it, you’re just going to confuse yourself.” I got up off the couch. “All right, you stay here, and I’ll go check it out—”

“What?” She got up too, moving into my path, crossing her arms over her chest. “I’m going with you.”

“That’s stupid. It won’t be safe.” I started forward, moving around her. “You stay here, and I’ll bring you back your sister, and then you’ll be so grateful that you’ll be begging to suck my cock.”

She moved too, blocking me. “It’s not safe for me if you’re not here. What if he isn’t at that kill site at all? What if he’s sitting around watching us, waiting for you to leave me alone so that he can snatch me up? I got the impression that he wanted to kill me for reasons other than just money, if you know what I mean.”

I tapped my chin. She might be right. The truth was that Shell might be safer with me than she would be anywhere else. I nodded once. “Okay. But you don’t get in my way, and you do exactly what I tell you to. Got it?”

She arched an eyebrow. “Geez.”

“Exactly what I tell you to,” I said in a low voice.

She bit down on her bottom lip.

Damn if she wasn’t getting me all worked up again.

Focus, I told myself. Focus.

* * *

Shell

The place where Ripper took me was a gutted apartment building out on the edge of everything. There was nothing else on the block except a convenience store that advertised its cigarette prices on big signs. The doors to the apartment building were ripped off, the windows busted out. The place was covered in graffiti and scattered beer bottles.

Ripper made me walk behind him. He said that I needed to be careful where I stepped, because if I caught some broken glass, the crunching of my feet could tip off Ice to the fact that we were there.

I almost wished he’d left me after all.

I didn’t like the pressure.

Anyway, I spent all my time watching his feet and choosing the steps I would take.

At the beginning, we were outside the building, walking over the concrete of the sidewalk, and that was good, so I just made sure to step on the concrete, avoiding anything else that I saw, whether it was a beer can or a discarded cigarette butt. I didn’t think that would make noise, but I didn’t want to find out either.

Then we entered through an empty doorway. The door was lying on the ground, dented metal, with the words Devon and Gabby 4-evah spray painted on it.

It was darker inside. Harder to see the floor.

And we were going down steps, so I had to be even more careful about where I put my feet. I not only didn’t want to make any noise. I didn’t want to lose my balance either.

It didn’t help that Ripper moved way too fast, picking his way around the trash that littered the steps like a dancer or something.

I went as quickly as I could, but he was always three or four steps below me, and when the steps would round the corner—as they did often since the steps were enclosed in a tall square box that ran up and down the whole building—I would lose sight of him completely.

When that happened, I’d panic, and I’d try to speed up.

But then I would see a pile of shattered glass from one of the busted windows, and I’d have to course-correct to avoid stepping on it, and then I’d slow down, and by the time I got around the corner, Ripper would be practically ready to turn the next corner.

My palms were starting to sweat.

We went down all the way to the bottom floor, which was two stories underground.

As we descended, it got darker and darker.

Ripper got further and further ahead of me, because I had to go slower, because I couldn’t see well. All of the litter on the steps looked like indistinguishable shadowy piles, and I couldn’t tell what was safe to step on and what wasn’t.

I was rounding a corner, and Ripper was so far ahead of me that I couldn’t see him at all, and I was so worried that I stepped forward without looking.

Just once.

My foot hit a beer can, and it fell down the steps, turning over and over, hitting each step on its way down, the clanging noise filling the stairwell.

I cringed, stopping in place.

I was certain that I’d done it now. I’d clued Ice in to the fact that we were coming, and I had gotten Starling killed.

Right now, he was probably gutting her to death, cackling like the Wicked Witch of the West—

No, that was too kiddie and weak, and there was no way that Ice would allow himself to seem silly in that way. He was serious business, and even though he wore a mask, I had seen in his eyes that he took a giddy glee in causing pain, and my sister was with that man, and it was all my fault—

“What the hell?” Ripper grabbed me on the landing between strips of stairs and pressed me into the wall. “Didn’t I tell you not to make noise?”

“I’m sorry,” I gasped.

“You may have just fucked everything up,” he whispered.

“I know that. You think I don’t know that?” I was in desperate agony over it.

He seemed to sense my distress. His grip didn’t loosen, but it changed somehow. He cocked his head in the darkness. “Don’t let it happen again.”

I nodded. “Sorry,” I said again.

“You better stay closer to me,” he said.

“You go too fast.”

He sighed. “Fine.” He let go of me, abruptly, and I felt strangely lost without his closeness. He started down the next block of stairs, going slower this time.

I stayed right behind him, putting my feet in the places where his had vacated. I gripped the walls, cold cement blocks, rough against my fingertips.

We went down one more level, and then there were no more stairs.

A door stood half open. It was metal, the paint on it cracked and peeling. There was a glass square window in the top, the glass crisscrossed with tiny wires.

Ripper put his finger to his lips.

I nodded.

He eased the door open wider by a few inches.

There was a groaning creak.

He let go of the door. Turned sideways. Squeezed through the opening instead.

I sucked in breath, trying to make myself as small as possible. I followed him, moving through the same way that he had.

Inside the room, it was hot and smoky.

I fought the urge to cough. I blinked hard, my eyes watering. What the hell? Was Ice burning the place down?

Ripper grabbed me by the arm, yanking me along with him. “It’s the furnace,” he whispered in my ear.

“What furnace?” I said.

“Shh,” he hissed.

I swallowed.

His breath tickled my neck. His voice was soft, right at my ear. “There’s a furnace down here. Ice likes to burn things he used during kills. Clothes. Ropes. Whatever.”

I was filled with fresh horror. Did that mean that Starling was—

“It doesn’t mean she’s dead,” he whispered. “He’s fucking with us.”

We fought our way through a vast room, which seemed empty and dark, only filled with smoke and heat.

Then Ripper collided with something. It landed on the floor with a crash, deafening.

I couldn’t help but feel smug. Now who was making noise?

“Fuck,” Ripper muttered. He picked up what had fallen over. It was a chair. I could see that now. A metal one, like they set up at weddings and functions at the fire department.

A piece of paper was attached to the back of the chair.

Ripper tore it off. “Too slow, Cade,” he read aloud. “You just missed me. Time for a new site anyway.” Ripper crumpled the paper into a ball. “Damn it.”

“Who’s Cade?” I said.

“I’m Cade,” he said. “Cade Davies. His name’s Frazier Smith. You can see why he goes by Ice.”

Cade was a nicer name than Frazier, that was true.

“He had her here,” said Cade. “He had her here, and he came back to take her away, because he knew I’d come after him here. He’s got the furnace going because he burned any remnants of himself. He’s just cleaned the site. He’s not coming back here. Ever.”

“So…” I hugged myself. “What now?”

“Now,” he said, “we’ve just won ourselves a trip back to square one. Do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars.”

“Oh,” I said, feeling my heart sink.

Cade took me by the elbow. “Let’s get the hell out of here.”

CHAPTER EIGHT

Shell

“Should we stay here?” I was turning around in the kitchen of my apartment. “I mean, I don’t advertise where I live or anything, but I don’t think it would be that difficult to track me down.”

“It’s three in the morning,” Cade said, leaning on the kitchen island. “I think we’d better get some sleep if we want to be any good on this.”

“But what about Starling? Is Ice killing her right now?”

“I don’t think so,” he said. “He took the trouble to move her, so he’s sticking to the deal. He’s keeping her alive. I think we’ve got time to track him down.”

“But how do you know that?”

“If he’d already killed her, he would have let us know,” said Cade. “He would have rubbed my face in it, made fun of me for thinking that there could ever be anything like honor between people like us. He wouldn’t string us on. He’s not exactly a patient person.”

“But that’s exactly why I’m worried.”

“No, I know,” he said. “But it’s late. We’ve done all we can for now.”

“No, that’s not good enough,” I said. “If something happens to Starling, it’s going to be my fault.”

“How do you reckon, love?” He raised his eyebrows at me. “Near as I can figure, Starling brought this on herself. Not that I’m saying that she deserves this, mind you. I’m not saying that at all. I’m just saying, she’s the one who decided to have sex for money, with a known terrorist supporter, no less. She’s the one who babbled to every news channel in the universe. She might have been too innocent to understand what she was doing to herself, but it’s still definitely on her, not on you.”

I shook my head. He didn’t understand. “She didn’t used to be like this, you know.”

“Like what?”

“Trashy,” I said. “No respect for herself. I mean, I get that she’s making more money than I’d ever make servicing the prince and all, but some things are worth more than money.”

He furrowed his brow. “You think you’d be paid less for servicing the prince?”

I felt myself flush. “That’s not what I meant. I meant she’s making more money servicing the prince than I could ever make doing anything at all. Doing what I do now.”

He eyed me. “What is it that you do?”

I felt self-conscious. “I’m, um, an artist. I draw webcomics?” It came out like a question, as if I wanted him to confirm something. That he’d heard of webcomics, that I actually did it, that webcomics were art… I don’t know. “And I pick up some hours at a restaurant waiting tables to make ends meet. But the comics are taking off a little bit. I’m making some money at it.” I felt the need to protest this. Being paid for drawing validated it, elevated it to something higher than a sad little hobby.

“I wondered about the pictures in your bedroom,” he said.

“When did you see the pictures in my bedroom?”

He looked away, clearing his throat. “You showed it to me earlier.”

“I definitely didn’t.” I put my hands on my hips. “How’d you find me tonight anyway? You just showed up at the place where I was supposed to meet Ice. What were you doing there?”

He pushed away from the kitchen island and opened the refrigerator. “I’m feeling a little hungry. This pizza okay to eat?”

“No, that’s my roommate’s and don’t change the subject.” I squeezed between him and the refrigerator, shutting it with my back. “You were following me, weren’t you?”

He shrugged, flashing me a grin, his eyes twinkling. “What if I was?”

“You spied on me in my bedroom?”

“No.” He made a face as if what I was saying was crazy.

I glared at him.

He went over to one of the cabinets. He opened it. “I’m guessing that all the stuff on the shelf labeled Celia belongs to your roommate?”

“Stop trying to change the subject.”

“Your roommate has way more food than you.”

“She just buys it and doesn’t eat it. I’m home more than she is. I actually feed myself here. She works and gets takeout.” This was a stupid conversation that we were having. What did it matter whether I had more food here or not? “Look, if you’re hungry, I have stuff.”

“I’m looking at what you have,” he said. “It’s not much.”

“Why did you follow me?”

He sighed. “I don’t know. I… I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

Warmth rushed through me in spite of myself. “Really?”

He stepped closer to me, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear. “I know that everything is insane right now. I know you’re worried about your sister, and I know that I haven’t been…” He swallowed.

I looked up at him, searching his eyes.

“But whatever this is between us…” He gestured back and forth and him and then me. And then he gave me his lopsided grin. “We should, uh, do something about it, don’t you think?”

I smiled back. I reached up to touch his cheek.

His voice went lower, gravelly. “I’m sorry about what happened between us earlier. I was just so wound up—”

The light in the hallway suddenly came on.

Cade and I turned to see that Celia was standing in the doorway to the kitchen.

“Oh,” I said. “Did we wake you?”

She grimaced a little—an expression that said we had woken her, but she felt bad for pointing it out, but was doing it anyway. “Kind of.” She was wearing her robe over her nightgown and her hair was up in a severe ponytail. I’d never actually seen her pajamas. That was how not close we were. We each had our own bathrooms, and she was always dressed by the time she got to the kitchen in the morning. Maybe not on the weekends, but I was always working on the weekends, pulling double shifts at the restaurant. Celia looked Cade over. “Who’s this?”

“Uh…” I didn’t know how to respond to that.

“I get that you’re going through stuff with your ex and your sister and being kidnapped and everything, and maybe that makes you want to go pick up random guys at the bar—”

“No, it’s not like that,” I said. “Cade’s helping me find Starling. He’s, um, a private detective.”

He raised his eyebrows at me, but he couldn’t contradict me without making it seem weird.

“A private detective? Really?” Celia gave him an appraising glance.

“He’s staying here to protect me,” I said. “On the couch.”

Cade gave me a vaguely annoyed look. “The couch, hmm?”

“I’ll just go get you some blankets,” I said.

Celia smiled at Cade. “Well, it is nice to have someone here in case either of us is in danger…”

Oh holy hell, she was flirting with him. I clenched my hands into fists.

Cade just smirked at me. He leaned back onto the kitchen island, grinning at Celia. “You aren’t afraid, are you?”

“Are you from… England?” She twisted the end of her ponytail around one of her fingers.

I was going to strangle her.

She looked at me. “Shell, I thought you were going to get blankets.”

I stomped off to do just that. Well, this was my own fault. Why hadn’t I simply claimed Cade was a drunken hookup? Then, maybe we’d be in my bed right now, and we could be—

But, you know what, maybe it was better this way.

Cade was dangerous. I was attracted to him, but there was no way in hell that he was actually good for me. Honestly, I was behaving a lot more like Starling than like myself, being so forward. Kissing him, making out with him, giving him hand jobs. Letting him get me off… I stopped at the thought of it, all the breath rushing from my lungs. Fuck, that orgasm he’d given me…

But everything was crazy, wasn’t it? Because he was hot and cold. He’d be all over me and then all business. Maybe there was some crazy animal attraction between us, but that wasn’t what I wanted out of life.

When Austin came into my life, I think I was so quick to overlook the things about him that made him seem… less than perfect because I wanted to settle down. I had sowed my wild oats in college. I was in my mid twenties—soon to be my late twenties—and it was time. I was looking for a real relationship, not another series of one night stands.

And a real relationship with a hitman?

I snorted.

No, I needed to steer clear of Cade. He was only going to use me and leave me. And that was the last thing I needed.

* * *

Cade

I shifted on the couch, which was about five inches too short for me, meaning that I had to sleep with my legs bunched up. Not comfortable at all.

Tomorrow, we were going to have to find someplace else to stay, and her apartment was not the most optimal place.

Honestly, I didn’t even understand how I had gotten into this mess.

This girl was not my problem. I had a code and all, and I did my best not to kill people who didn’t deserve it, but that didn’t make me some kind of hero. I didn’t go around trying to right wrongs or save people or any of that kind of shit.

So, the only reason I was here was because of Shell.

Because I wanted to fuck her.

But seriously? I was going through all this trouble for a piece of ass?

How good could it be?

Even if it was phenomenal screwing her, even if her pussy felt like fucking a fountain gushing gold and rainbows, it couldn’t be worth all the shit I’d been through already.

Anyway, now it was personal with Ice.

I’d had beef with him for a long time. This was probably a long time coming between us.

So, it was about Ice, then. That’s why I was sleeping on this couch all alone in this apartment.

I rolled over onto my side and punched the pillow that Shell had given me.

Right.

Hell, this was stupid.

I should get up off this couch and go back into her room, where she was sleeping.

I could probably tie her hands and legs down to the headboard and the foot of the bed before she even woke up. I could have her there, right at my mercy, do whatever I wanted to her.

Then I could leave, go find Ice, beat the hell out of him, and all of this would be over.

I considered, trying to figure out which of the two scenarios I found most appealing. I pictured Shell completely naked, tied spread eagle on the bed, her legs wide, her pussy wet and hungry for me.

And that, of course, was why I didn’t do it.

Because I knew better.

I couldn’t sneak into her bedroom, tie her down while she was sleeping, and then expect her to actually be wet for me. For all the big talk that I made, I knew that women—especially a woman like Shell—couldn’t just be forced like that.

And I didn’t want her struggling and angry and frightened.

I knew that someone like Ice liked it that way. That was his idea of a good time.

But I didn’t like that.

I wanted to be in charge, that was true. I wanted to have absolute control, to be able to bend her to my will, to have her carry out whatever my dirty mind thought up for her.

I didn’t need props or scenarios. I didn’t need her to be tied down, I just needed her to be willing to do what I wanted. I needed her under my power.

And I wanted her to get as turned on from that as I did.

I knew it wasn’t out of the realm of possibility. I brought home women like that, who would get wet because I ordered them around.

But Shell…

I didn’t get that vibe from her. She was much too defiant. She kept speaking up, and giving me shit. Even when I’d first taken her hostage, when she hadn’t known what to make of me, she’d been a little sassy. So, I didn’t think that she would appreciate what I wanted to do with her right then.

Still…

She’d been compliant enough against the wall over there, stroking my cock like a champ. Her tight grip around me, her little gasps of pleasure, and her wet little cunt…

Man, all of it was enough to get me hard again.

I groaned.

I rolled over on my back.

Go to sleep, I told myself.

* * *

Cade

I probably only got about five hours sleep, because Shell’s roommate woke me up when she left for work early that morning. I rolled around on the couch a little longer, trying to go back to sleep, but the light was streaming in through the window, and it was a lost cause.

Instead, I stumbled into the kitchen to see what I could do about feeding myself.

I hadn’t had anything to eat since lunch yesterday, and I was starving.

I rummaged through the refrigerator and the cabinets, noting that everything was divided up and labeled. I thought that was kind of funny. Personally, I’d never had a roommate. Probably would have literally killed them if they pissed me off. But I thought that the two of them were being just a tad too anal about this labeling business.

I considered blatantly eating some of Celia’s food.

Then I figured that would only get Shell in trouble.

So, instead, I found some coffee and half a pound of bacon. I didn’t tend to eat bacon too often. Eating bacon tended to make me feel… heavy. I didn’t like it weighing in my gut when I was trying to haul ass after some mark that had managed to evade me—not that many marks got by me or anything. Still, in my line of work, I needed to stay fit.

I didn’t have a problem with meat or anything, I just tended to stick to leaner cuts of meat. I didn’t eat a lot of carbs either.

It wasn’t so much a diet…

Oh, hell, okay, I was anal about shit too.

Anyway, the choices were bacon and eggs or pancakes. Not only would the pancakes have been empty calories, they wouldn’t have stuck with me later.

So, bacon and eggs it was.

I got started on breakfast, hoping that Shell would wake up just from smelling it, even though it was early, and she hadn’t had much sleep either.

She didn’t.

So, I waited for a bit after everything was finished, and then I decided I’d just wake her up, considering the food was going to get cold otherwise.

But her door was locked.

I banged on it. “Shell, wake up.”

A muffled response from the other side of the door.

“I made breakfast,” I said.

More noises from the other side of the door.

Then Shell opened it. Her hair was mussed from sleep, and she was wearing an oversized flannel shirt that skimmed the tops of her thighs.

Wow. I hadn’t thought about her being so uncovered.

“You cook?” she said.

I nodded. “Yeah.”

“Are you a good cook?”

“I like it,” I said, shrugging.

“Because you’re from England, right, and English food is supposed to be horrible, not that I’d know, because I’ve never been there or anything. It’s just what you hear.”

“I haven’t lived in England since I was ten,” I said. “And if the food isn’t good, it’s because you had a shit selection.” I turned and walked up the hallway.

Within minutes, Shell had joined me. She’d taken the time to smooth her hair back into a sloppy ponytail on top of her head, but she hadn’t put on any pants or anything.

I gazed at her bare legs, wanting to pick her up, set her on the counter, and order her to slowly open her knees to me.

I sat down at the table instead and began attacking my eggs as if they had caused me personal insult.

“You’re in a bad mood,” she observed, sitting down. “Is it because you suck at getting my sister back?”

“I’m not in a bad mood.” I popped a bite of eggs into my mouth. I chewed.

She picked up a fork and shoveled some of the eggs into her mouth. “Not bad,” she said around her mouthful.

I pointed my fork at her. “Didn’t anyone ever teach you not to talk with your mouth full?”

She blushed.

It made her look even prettier. I turned back to the food, resolving to keep my mouth shut.

“So, what are we going to do today?” she said.

Just when I decide to be quiet, she asks me a question. “We aren’t going to do anything. I’m going to go back to the drawing board, trying to figure out where Ice went. We’ve got two days. You should probably stick with me, because you might not be safe on your own, but I don’t think we should stay at your apartment any longer. Your couch is seriously uncomfortable.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that. I just sort of panicked when Celia was throwing around accusations…” She took a drink of orange juice.

“She mentioned an ex,” I said. “Is he the guy who was here last night?”

“You were spying on me, weren’t you?”

I shrugged. “Is he?”

“Yes,” she said. She picked up a piece of bacon and stared at it. “He’s gay.”

“I thought you said he was your ex.”

“He is. He figured out he was gay about a month before we were set to get married.”

I winced. “I’m sorry, love. That sounds…”

“It was a nightmare.”

I ran my finger around the rim of my coffee mug. “If he was gay, how come you didn’t…”

“Notice?”

I wrinkled up my nose, realizing that was probably a rude thing to ask.

“I don’t know.” She sighed. “He just seemed normal.”

“Huh,” I said, staring at my plate. I couldn’t figure how that seemed normal, but it wasn’t my place to judge. I hadn’t been there. Anyway, it was probably all a painful sort of thing to talk about for her. She probably didn’t want me asking a bunch of questions.

“You want to know about the sex, don’t you?” she said. “Everyone wants to know.”

“Do they?” I plastered a smile on my face.

“It was fine,” she said. “It was normal. There was nothing wrong with it.”

I raised my eyebrows.

She began to break off pieces of bacon and toss them on her plate. “I mean, sure, he wasn’t exactly great at foreplay or whatever, but most guys aren’t. And yeah, it wasn’t like I had an orgasm every time we did it, but who has sex like that anyway? No one.”

“Seriously?” I said.

She looked up at me.

We held each other’s gazes for a while.

I was the one who finally looked away. “If I’m having sex with a girl, she gets off.”

“Oh, but how can you even be sure of that?”

“I’m sure.” I looked up again. “I’m sure that you came yesterday, and that wasn’t even sex.”

She swallowed.

We were quiet again.

“This isn’t the best breakfast conversation, is it?” she muttered.

And what was I supposed to make of that? She’d hated it, hadn’t she? She’d hated that I’d blown my wad in her hand like some idiotic teenager, that I’d been so inept that I couldn’t even spread out our first sexual encounter into anything beyond something embarrassing and brief.

I shook my head into my plate.

Okay, this time for real. Keeping my mouth shut.

* * *

Shell

“Are you ever going to get dressed?” Cade growled from across the room.

I looked up from the sink where I was washing up the breakfast dishes. Since he’d cooked, I’d figured it was only fair to clean up. I gestured at my nightshirt with soapy hands. “You don’t like it?”

He stalked across the room, moving like a lithe predatory cat. “I’m trying to concentrate on figuring out where Ice might have gone.”

“Yeah, I get that, and I’m washing the dishes.”

He stepped in front of me, placing one arm on either side of me, resting his big hands on the counter next to the sink. “And every time I look up,” he said in a rough voice, “your fucking shirt is riding up higher and higher.”

“Oh,” I said quietly. “And that’s bad.”

“That’s distracting.”

I nodded slowly. Oh, man, this wasn’t good. I knew that I told myself to keep away from Cade, that getting involved with him was a disaster. But I couldn’t help liking the notion that I was distracting him, that he was mesmerized by my bare skin. That made me feel a little powerful and a lot turned on.

“So,” he said. “Are you going to get dressed?”

I smiled slowly. “You know, I’m actually very comfortable in this nightshirt.”

He made a noise of displeasure in the back of this throat, seized my hips and turned me back around to face the sink. “Wash the dishes, then. But if you aren’t going to get dressed, then I can’t be held responsible for what I do next.”

Oooh. A little tingle went through me. That threat was delicious.

His voice at my ear. “Wash.”

I plunged my hands back into the soapy water.

He grasped the hem of my nightshirt, and then he lifted it, exposing my panties.

I sucked in breath. I hadn’t given much thought to my panties. They were black cotton bikinis. Comfy but unremarkable. I honestly only had a few things that could even really be called lingerie, and I hadn’t worn them since trying to show them to Austin. He hadn’t been into it, so I’d buried them at the bottom of my drawer. Maybe that had been a sign…

But all thoughts of Austin were wiped out of my head when I felt his fingers on the back of my thighs.

Jolts of goodness went through me.

“Spread your legs a little,” he whispered.

I did.

“Good,” he purred.

Oh, fuck. I’d never really done this before either. I wasn’t a nun or anything, but most of the sex I’d had was pretty vanilla. And most guys I’d been with weren’t very vocal except for some grunts and “Oh yeah”s.

I liked being told what to do.

I liked pleasing him.

Heat gathered in my sex.

“Keep washing the dishes,” he said mildly.

I tried to scrub one of the plates, but my hands were shaking.

His fingers went under the outside elastic of my panties, one of his hands on each side, and he tugged the fabric upward, so it tucked into my crease, forming a thong shape, exposing my ass cheeks.

I let out a breath, feeling laid bare, feeling used, feeling dirty, and loving it.

He caressed both of my cheeks. His hands were warm.

My clit started to feel heavy and thick.

“You like showing me your ass, don’t you?” he breathed into my ear.

I gasped again. “Y-yes,” I admitted. This was much more exciting than I ever could have imagined.

“That’s why you wore this nightshirt. You wanted me to look at you.”

Maybe that was true.

“Is that right?” he said in a soft voice.

“Yes,” I breathed.

“That’s not a very nice thing to do, Shell. Say you’re sorry.”

“I’m sorry?” I was confused.

A crack against one of my cheeks, his open palm slapping me.

I was shocked by the stinging sensation, appalled. But then his hand was caressing the place he’d spanked. And I was flooded with a very pleasant sensation, more than I’d expected. My pussy clenched.

“I don’t forgive you,” he murmured. “Try that apology again.”

I closed my eyes, feeling wicked. “I’m sorry,” I said in a voice that didn’t sound the least bit sorry.

His palm cracked against my other cheek. The same motion. Sting, then caress.

“Hmm,” he said. “Someone doesn’t seem sorry at all.”

“No,” I gasped, arching my back, enjoying this. “I think you’ll really have to teach me a lesson.” I grinned at him over my shoulder.

He smiled back. “Don’t look at me. You’re supposed to be washing the dishes. After all, that was so important that you couldn’t even be bothered to put on some clothes.”

I stifled my grin, turning back to the sink. I began scrubbing a dish.

He spanked me.

I gasped.

He spanked me again.

I moaned. I set the dish in the other sink to rinse. I reached for another.

He spanked me again.

I cried out. Everything was so sensitive down there now. My whole pelvis was glowing with heat and pleasure. I wriggled my hips.

“Hold still.” His voice was strangled.

I felt his hands on my hips, holding me in place. I stopped moving, my breath coming in short, hard gusts. Everything was good right then. I was so turned on, and it all felt amazing.

He ran a hand over my back. “Good girl. You’re very obedient.” His hands seized my panties. There was a ripping sound, and then I wasn’t wearing anything. I felt the air against my wet sex. “I like that. You like doing what I tell you, don’t you?”

“Yes,” I whispered.

His hands explored the curves of my ass, and everything was so sensitive from the spanks that it felt glorious.

I moaned again.

“Spread your legs a little wider,” he said.

I did.

He leaned down and nipped my neck. “You’re neglecting the dishes again.”

“Sorry.” I reached for a dish.

He spanked me again.

I was taken by surprise, but it was delightful. I couldn’t help leaning my hips into his caress, as he rubbed away the sting.

“I told you to hold still.” His voice was sharp.

“I’m sorry,” I said again, shutting my eyes.

Another spank.

I moaned, but I managed to keep from moving.

“That’s better,” he murmured. “I want you just like this, Shell. Spread open for me, showing me everything, and ready to do exactly as I say.”

I sucked in breath. Holy hell, this was hot. I’d never experienced anything like this before. If you’d asked me if I thought I would have liked it, I wouldn’t have thought that I would. But now that it was happening, I realized that it was nice. And there was an intimacy to it that I wouldn’t have predicted. There was something about surrendering myself to him that was creating a bond between us. I could feel it strengthening with each command and response.

His fingers explored between my legs, touching my aching sex.

I groaned. That felt wonderful. I wanted his hands there forever.

“Oh, you’re very wet,” he said, sounding pleased. “You have a very hot little wet pussy, Shell.” He eased a finger inside me.

I clenched on him.

He chuckled. “A hungry little wet pussy.”

I gasped.

“Does this little pussy want fucked?”

“Oh, yes,” I moaned.

“You want me to fuck you just like this, bent over the sink in your kitchen?”

“Yes.”

“You want every inch of my cock slamming into you over and over again?”

“Yes, yes,” I moaned.

“I don’t know.” His finger moved up to circle my clit.

I was in a frenzy now. I moved my hips against him, moaning.

He held me in place with one hand. “I didn’t say you could move.”

I moaned out my frustration.

“Do you really want fucked?”

“Yes.” It was a hiss.

His voice at my ear, soft and self-assured. “Ask me nicely.”

“Please?” I whispered.

“Please what?”

“Please fuck me.”

“You want it bad?”

“I want it so bad. All I can think about is your cock. I need it. Please… Please Ripper. Fuck me.”

He sucked in breath. “What did you call me?”

I knew his name now, but somehow the other name, the moniker he used for killing, was the only one that I had thought. “Ripper,” I said again.

He seized me by the hips, running his hands over my thighs and pressing himself against me. I felt the heat of his erection against my ass. “Say it again.”

“Ripper,” I breathed.

“Beg me again,” he said. He was fumbling with his pants. His voice was breathless, low, harsh.

“Please fuck me, Ripper.”

“Oh, shit, Shell.” And he was inside me.

He was huge and thick and lovely.

I cried out at the invasion, bucking against him.

He didn’t bother to stop me from moving. He moved against me.

We caught each other’s rhythm almost immediately, and it was bliss.

He drove himself deep into me, filling me up everywhere, making me feel complete and good. And then he pulled away, almost all the way out before driving himself all the way back in again.

I couldn’t keep myself from groaning and sighing my pleasure at his movement. I huffed and pumped my hips against his, gripping the counter, getting taken from behind in my own kitchen.

His fingers snaked around my hips, down between my lips, to rub my clit.

I cried out.

Two seconds of his fingers there, and I came.

It was quick and sharp, overtaking me and flooding me with white hot pleasure as I tipped into an ecstasy of clenches around his hard, huge cock.

He chuckled again, his voice thick with pleasure. “Oh, I like that. You’re always wound so tight, coming apart under my fingers so easy.”

But that was the thing. I didn’t usually come this easily. I mean, sure, maybe if I was having some quality time with my vibrator, I could speed things along if I needed to, but with guys, having sex… Well, I could count on my hand the number of times I’d had an orgasm during intercourse. I’d always thought I needed to trust the man I was with to open up like that, but here I was with Cade, and he seemed to be able to wring orgasms out of me almost against my will.

“You’ll come for me again,” he said in a husky voice. “You’re so responsive to me that I think you’ll come when I tell you to.”

Yeah, right. That happened in books, but not in real life. I mean, sure, everything with Cade felt sublime, absolute perfection. Sure each movement of his cock in my super-sensitive, freshly-climaxed pussy felt like I was edging on bliss. Sure…

I dissolved into sensation, moaning as we moved together.

“Man, you’re so wet and tight,” he sighed. He touched my clit again, just a quick little bump.

Shudders went through me.

“Mmm… just checking,” he said. “You’re very responsive.”

“To you,” I choked out.

“Really?”

“You’re the only…” I gasped for air. “I’ve never felt anything like…”

He grunted. “Damn it, Shell, that’s…” He quickened his pace in me. “You make me lose my… oh fuck.” He buried his face in my hair, clutching me with one hand. The other hand found my clit again. “It’s got to be now, love. I can’t hold on, so I need you to come for me again.”

My pleasure surged suddenly, at his words.

“Come for me, Shell,” he urged in a low voice.

And damned if I didn’t, falling apart under his fingers and the battering of his cock, falling backwards into a sea of dark sweetness, the tide surging within my body again and again and again until I was nearly senseless.

And I sagged against the counter. The only thing holding me up was his arms around me.

And I felt him in me, emptying himself, surging and swelling as well.

And everything surrounded me, and it was the most wonderful…

* * *

Cade

I felt shattered, clinging to her like that. She was naked from the waist down, and I’d only managed to undo my fly. Still, even though I was mostly clothed, I didn’t feel I had the upper hand. I felt thoroughly affected, vulnerable, exposed. And yet, I liked it.

It was a strange paradox, that I’d been in control of her, completely and utterly. She’d taken to it much easier than I had thought she would. Like she was made to submit to me. Like every order I gave her made her wetter and more pliant and more turned on. She’d been mine to do with as I pleased. She would have done whatever I asked, and she would have enjoyed it.

And yet, I felt out of control now. As if taking her, topping her, had somehow made me exposed. Showing her that side of myself had opened a door into my deepest self, and now…

We were both out of breath, both resting against the counter, trying to recover.

She twisted in my arms. Her lips sought mine.

I sunk my fingers into her hair, loosening her ponytail, and I kissed her hard.

Her eager hands smooth over my chest, feeling my skin through my clothes.

This was really happening. This girl—this very hot girl who let me fuck her just the way I liked it—knew what I was. She wasn’t running.

How could that be?

Well. She didn’t really know what I was. She knew I killed people for money, but she didn’t know how much I enjoyed killing. She didn’t understand that deep down, I was a monster.

Once she figured that out, she’d never let me touch her again.

The thought brought a sour taste to my mouth.

I let go of her, breaking the kiss, backing away. I didn’t know what I was thinking, anyway. What did I care? I wanted to fuck her. I’d fucked her. That was good enough. Now, all I had to do was get her sister back and teach Ice a lesson and all of this would be over.

Her eyes were bright. “That was… wow.”

I couldn’t help but grin at that.

“I can’t believe you just…” She gave me a look, a raw look, full of just-fucked satisfaction, and I wanted to kiss her again. I wanted to unbutton her shirt and explore her entire body. I hadn’t really seen her tits yet.

Hmm. Maybe fucking her once really wouldn’t be enough. I mean, I hadn’t really done it properly, had I? I didn’t know if I necessarily needed to tie her up, but I definitely wanted to see her completely naked. I wanted my mouth on her nipples.

And she hadn’t sucked my cock yet. My grin widened, thinking about that.

“Of course,” she said, “we really should have used a condom.”

My jaw worked. Condoms. How had I forgotten about condoms? I never forgot about that. It was only that she’d said that shit to me—calling me Ripper—the name of my true self, my hidden self. I never told that name to women, and she’d invoked it, asking me to take her, and I’d lost my head for a minute. I’d never been so fucking turned on in my entire life.

“You do that a lot?” She folded her arms over her chest. “Get a girl so distracted she doesn’t even think about protection?”

“No,” I said. “I meant for us to… I have condoms.”

“So do I,” she said.

“I always use them,” I said. “And I get tested.”

“I got tested before the wedding.”

“Wedding?” I said.

“Yeah, I was going to marry a gay guy, remember?”

“Oh, yeah.” I swallowed. “I remember that. So, I’m clean. You’re clean?”

She nodded. “Yeah.”

“So, it’s not a big deal,” I said. “And next time, we’ll totally use one.”

“Pretty sure there’s going to be a next time are you?”

I lifted my chin. “Yeah, love, pretty sure.”

She shook her head at me, and then turned back to the sink. She started rinsing dishes that she’d washed while we’d been messing around. “I, um, I stopped taking my birth control pills a while back,” she said without looking at me.

I didn’t say anything.

She still didn’t look at me. “I just thought I should… I mean the responsible thing is to say…”

For fuck’s sake, the least I could have done was pull out, right? I could have come all over her pretty little ass, and it would have been hot as hell. But instead, I…

She looked over her shoulder. “It’s really unlikely that… I mean, I heard that two healthy people who are having timed intercourse trying to have a baby usually can’t get pregnant for months.”

I jammed my hands into my pockets. I didn’t want to think—

Angie’s face flashed in front of me, holding out the plastic stick and making me look at it.

What’s two lines mean?

My nostrils flared. I turned and stalked out of the kitchen.

CHAPTER NINE

Shell

I shouldn’t have said anything about the birth control pills. Really, it was so unlikely that anything was going to happen that it made absolutely no sense… And I wasn’t even during the time of my cycle that I was fertile.

Wait. When had I had a period last?

I didn’t think about that kind of thing anymore. Not since I wasn’t sexually active.

Now, more than ever, it was completely pointless to take the pills.

I’d gotten pretty frustrated with them. In college, I’d been on them all the time, and I’d just never known that anything could be different. I wasn’t promiscuous in college or anything. I dated around a little. I had a few random, drunken hookups. Basically, I was normal.

And I thought that sex was pretty good.

But then, after I graduated, I couldn’t get free birth control through the college clinic anymore, and I was still on my parents’ insurance, and I was too embarrassed to ask about it.

So, I just stopped taking the pills.

And holy hell, I had not realized what they were doing to me. Apparently, I was one of the unlucky women who was negatively affected by the hormones. When I was on birth control, I couldn’t get wet properly. Apparently, progesterone did that, and that was the hormone in the pills. Not being wet meant that all the sex I had in college was vaguely painful, and my sex drive was kind of muted anyway.

Once the birth control pills were gone, my sex drive was different. And sex felt so much better.

I tried going back on them when I first got together with Austin, thinking maybe that it had been the brand that I used before or something, but even on a really light hormone pill, it was the same.

So, I asked him if he minded me not taking them, and he didn’t. Austin was really into the idea of kids once we got married, and he said we’d just use condoms until then. Not that Austin and I got busy that often.

Another freaking sign I should have noticed.

I felt wistful, because I had really liked the idea of having kids with Austin. We would have been good parents together, I just knew it.

If I had gotten pregnant, by some miracle, this morning, I tried to picture having a kid with Cade.

I snorted. Don’t worry, sweetie, Daddy will be home from killing someone in time for dinner.

Well, there was no reason to worry. I wasn’t pregnant. I shouldn’t have even brought it up.

I peered into the living room.

Cade was standing at the window, looking out at the parking lot.

“I’m sorry that I said anything,” I said. “We should really just forget about it. I mean, I’m sure that I won’t actually…” I couldn’t say the words “get pregnant” out loud.

He didn’t turn around. He didn’t even acknowledge me.

I waited. I didn’t understand this guy. He had been so into me a few minutes ago, totally consumed in trying to get me off and in making me feel good. And then he just switched the hell off. I guess he was freaked about the idea of being a dad or something.

“You should know,” I said, “that I have this belief that a woman who’s financially stable should utterly bear the financial burden if she wants to have a kid and the father doesn’t. So, don’t think I would like sue you for child support or something. Not that I would maybe even have the baby.” I wrinkled my nose up. It was one thing to think about abortion when I was still practically a child myself. Now, though…

He turned and looked at me, and his face was stone.

“We shouldn’t think about it, anyway,” I said in a quiet voice. “It’s very unlikely.”

“You said that,” he said softly.

“Yeah.” I nodded.

We were both quiet.

“You want to take a shower?” I said. “I want to. You could go first if you want.”

“Go ahead.” He turned back to the window.

I’d been dismissed, hadn’t I? Shit, when we’d been together in the kitchen, I’d felt as if there was a bond being formed between us. Now, it was completely severed. He was closed down to me. Completely gone.

It hurt.

This was why I shouldn’t have had sex with him. I had this stupid tendency to fall for guys that I went to bed with. I didn’t mean to, but it happened a lot. It was the reason that there weren’t very many drunken hookups in my past. I always wanted them to turn into something more, and when they didn’t, I was devastated.

Well, fuck him.

Fuck all of it. The best thing to do now was simply to find Starling, make sure she was safe, and then get the hell away from Cade or Ripper or whoever the hell he was.

I didn’t need this. No matter how good the sex was.

* * *

Cade

Fuck all of it.

I was an idiot. I knew that I was, and I couldn’t believe that I’d forgotten to put on a condom like that.

And I hated hearing her babble on like that, her voice getting more and more tentative, because she had been so strong thus far. Even when she submitted to me in the kitchen, she did it consciously. I remembered how she had willfully refused to apologize sincerely, wanting me to punish her, and my cock stirred again.

I looked down at my crotch.

“Down boy,” I whispered. I had things I needed to think about. The most important one being how I was going to find Ice. We were running out of time. I assumed two days meant that today was the first day, and then tomorrow was the second day.

But what if Ice was going to be an ass and interpret it as yesterday being day one and today being day two.

If I found him, and Starling was already dead, then Shell was going to hate me forever.

I thought of the way she’d turned away from me minutes before. Maybe she already hated me. I wouldn’t blame her.

Honestly, I couldn’t figure out why she was letting me do anything with her at all.

I threw myself down on the couch.

Maybe there was something wrong with her.

Maybe she was screwed up in the head, too, just like I was. Maybe she liked dangerous guys. Maybe that got her off. Maybe I wasn’t the first hit man she’d banged. Maybe she was a regular groupie, ready to spread her legs for anyone who had a gun.

It didn’t seem like it, though.

Honestly, her sexual history sounded kind of sad. The way she had described sex with the gay guy sounded pathetic, and she had hinted that she thought it was normal, which meant that she’d been having sex with straight guys that was really crappy too.

Not that I liked thinking about her having sex with other men, I realized. I was already starting to feel possessive of her. Maybe it was because of the way she’d obeyed me, or the way she’d responded to me. Or maybe it was because the things out of her mouth had driven me out of my mind. She’d told me that she was different with me, that I made her the sexy little minx that she was, and that made me feel—

Of course, it might all be calculated. Maybe she was making it up, even the bit about the birth control. Maybe she was playing me. Maybe, for her it was some kind of game.

But why would she do that?

Why would she play a game with me? Did she think I was too slow to catch on to that, because I was onto her and—

Slow.

Someone else had said that word to me recently…

Oh, right. Ice’s note. Too slow.

Suddenly, I wished that I hadn’t crumpled that shit up. What if there was something in that note, some kind of clue? I wouldn’t put it past Ice, to be honest. He was the manipulative one, the one who liked to fuck with people’s heads. He wouldn’t be able to resist making it obvious…

Oh, shit.

I knew where he was.

CHAPTER TEN

Shell

I was sitting in the passenger seat of Cade’s car, running my fingers through my wet, tangled hair as Cade careened around the corner, barely getting through the intersection before the light changed. “Hey,” I said, grabbing the handhold on the ceiling. “Can you slow down?”

“Thought you’d be eager to find your sister.” He stared straight ahead, and the car was still hurtling down the road.

“I am,” I said. “That’s why I left without even combing my hair. But you’re going to get us pulled over, and that’s going to make it take even longer.”

He glanced at me, and then back at the road. The car slowed a bit. Not all the way down to the level of the speed limit, but at least not warp speed anymore.

“So, how do you know that’s where he is again?” I said.

“It was in the note. He said, ‘Too slow.’ So, that could only mean this place. He left me a little clue, and I figured it out.”

“But I don’t get it,” I said.

“Of course you don’t.”

“It’s an inside thing? Something only the two of you understand?”

“Slow,” he said. “Mental hospital. It’s obvious.”

“Um, it’s not.”

“A mental hospital,” he said. “One that’s been closed down for nearly twenty years, so it’s old enough that they used to do lobotomies there. They keep trying to tear it down, but every time the project gets underway, whoever is funding it backs out.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard about the place,” I said. “But I still don’t see what it has to do with being slow.”

He glanced at me again, like I was an idiot.

“What?” I said.

“Lobotomies.”

“So?”

“People who have lobotomies are slow. Too slow. Like the note.”

I raked my hands through my hair. “I think you’re just making connections that aren’t even there.”

He laughed. “You would think that. Because you’ve never done this before.”

“And you spend all of your time chasing psychopaths around trying to save girls?”

“Point,” he admitted. “But you’ve just got to trust me. It’s a clue. That’s what it means. And we’re on our way to the place where we’ll find Starling.”

“But I saw a story about that on the news,” I said. “They were filming the place, talking about how kids like to break in there during Halloween and how it’s haunted and all of that. Which I don’t believe, incidentally. But still, it’s huge. We could search the place for days and not find them.”

“No, I know where she’ll be,” he said.

“How could you know that?”

“Because I know him, and he and I have talked about mental hospitals before.”

“Well, that’s why you know he’s there, then. Because of that conversation, not because of the clue in the note.”

“No.” He shook his head. “The conversation, it was a long time ago, and it was actually about how he’d like to kill someone in a hospital, so that he could take advantage of the stuff that’s in the hospital for the purposes of torturing people.”

My whole body went cold. It was as if I’d forgotten all about the reason Cade and I were together in the first place. Starling was in danger. Real danger. And I was too worried about getting laid and whether or not the guy liked me back to even worry about her.

God, that was so like me.

Not the preoccupation with sex part. That was kind of new. But the fact that I was thinking of myself instead of Starling? The fact that she was being hurt and I wasn’t even worried about her? Yeah, that was the kind of sister I typically was.

I sucked.

I dragged a hand over my face. “He’s going to torture her?”

He gripped the steering wheel. “He, uh, likes torturing people. He gets off on it. He likes pain.”

“But you don’t, right?” Suddenly, that was important to me.

His grip on the steering wheel tightened.

I thought about him spanking me earlier. That hadn’t really hurt, but maybe it was just part of his sick, twisted—

“Look, Shell, you should know… I’m not a good guy.”

Fuck. I sat back in my seat. “You like torturing people too?”

“No. Not…” His jaw twitched. “I don’t do it. It’s bad for business. You want to succeed knocking people off, then you learn to do it quick and clean, and torturing someone first is neither.”

“But do you like it?” My voice was tiny.

He didn’t say anything.

I grabbed the handhold again, and I squeezed it hard. I had sex with him. I let him hurt me. “Is that why you spanked me? If you had your way, would you hurt me worse? Really hurt me?”

“No.” He shot a glance at me. “Why would you think that?”

“Well—”

“No, I guess I can see why you would think that.” He sighed. “I like control. I like being in control of someone else. I like… but it’s not about enjoying pain for me. I’m not a sadist. I’m just…” His voice dropped several octaves, so that it was barely audible. “I do like killing. I’m good at it, and I like it, and I’m not a good guy. And you… you should probably stay away from me.”

I blinked. He liked killing? Liked it.

I knew that he killed people. I also knew he had a code. But I guessed that if you needed a code, it was probably because you were tempted to do things outside of the code. Like, I didn’t need a code at all. I would never kill someone. Not anyone, ever.

Well.

Maybe I would kill Frazier Smith. If I had the chance. Maybe I would. Something told me that guy was contributing nothing useful to the world.

“Anyway,” continued Cade in a subdued voice, “we were talking about torture. It was kind of this thing where we were sharing our fantasies about the perfect kill.”

Oh, God. He fantasized about killing people. Oh. My. God.

“And,” he kept going, “he was talking about doing things in a hospital. But then he started talking about a mental hospital, about shock therapy and lobotomies and—”

I made a mewling noise, cringing and thinking of Starling.

“Sorry,” said Cade. “Maybe that was too much information.”

“No, I need to know,” I said. “When I find her, whatever he’s done to her—”

“She’ll be fine,” said Cade. “Ice promised us he wouldn’t hurt her.”

“You said we couldn’t trust him.”

“It was just last night,” said Cade. “We’ll get there before he can do anything.”

I pressed my forehead into the window. “What was yours?”

“Mine?”

“Your fantasy? Your perfect kill?” My voice came out dripping with disgust.

But he didn’t respond.

* * *

Shell

I didn’t want to split up inside the mental hospital, because it was creepy as hell in there. It was nearly noon, but inside, there was no electricity, and the doors were shut tight on either sides of the hallways, so that the only light filtered through dirty windows at the ends. The light was gloomy and ghostly. Gray. And it barely penetrated.

The place was dark and silent and strangely barren.

Sure, there was the odd gurney in the hallway, complete with unbuckled restraints that hung open at the corners.

But for a place that was frequented by teenagers, it was surprisingly clear of the stuff we’d seen in the other building. No beer bottles, cigarette butts, graffiti. It was as if this place hadn’t been touched for twenty years.

And I didn’t believe in ghosts or anything like that. I didn’t fall for that stupid stuff where people go into places with voltmeters and infared cameras and claim that spirits are communicating with them. Whatever. That’s bullshit.

But…

Well, I couldn’t account for the fact that the minute we stepped into that place, I felt like we weren’t alone. I don’t know how to describe it. It’s that uncanny itch at the back of your neck that tells you to turn around and check to see if something is watching.

A holdover from the days when we lived in the wild, when we were wary of predators or something. A piece of my lizard brain lighting up, screaming at me that this place wasn’t safe.

So, I really didn’t want to split up.

Honestly, even though Cade had just told me that he enjoyed killing people and that he was a bad person, I wanted to clutch his arm and huddle close to him, because I was afraid.

But he was adamant. “This is the best way. I’m going to go and make some noise, and I’ll attract his attention. That means he’ll leave Starling alone. You need to get to where she is so that you can get her out of here. It’ll be safer for you if you don’t see him anyway.”

“But… but…” I tried to think of a good reason.

“You’re not scared, are you?”

I looked around at the tall, metal doors looming above me in the gray light. “No,” I said in a small voice.

“Good. Because trust me, Ice is the only thing to be scared of in this place. He’s the boogeyman.”

Great. Thanks for that. Because now I wasn’t only going to be worried about ghosts and whatever strange otherworldly presence I seemed to be sensing, I was also going to be worried that Ice was lurking somewhere around the next corner, holding a long, thin sharp tool once used for lobotomies, which would already be dripping with my sister’s blood and brain matter—

“It’s just down the hall and down the stairs,” said Cade. “You’ll be fine.”

I tried to smile at him. I couldn’t. I wanted to clench my hands into fists and beat his chest with them until he agreed to take me with him and not leave me alone.

But he was already walking off in the opposite direction.

Into the dark.

I watched him go.

He was swallowed up by shadows, but I could still hear his footsteps.

I waited.

But then I couldn’t hear those anymore either.

It was completely silent.

I swallowed hard. I didn’t want to move, but I knew that I had to. So, I slowly picked up my foot and took one step in the direction that Cade had told me to go.

It felt… wrong, as if I was walking against invisible resistance in the air.

I do not believe in ghosts, I thought. Hard.

I pressed forward. I decided that I would simply look down at the floor, not anywhere else. I could only see a few feet ahead of me very well anyway. Everything was all ominous gray shadows.

I peered at my feet. I had chosen to wear a pair of pale blue tennis shoes. They were covered in sparkles, and they had white laces. I didn’t wear them all that often, so they were still quite white and clean.

After this little trip to the dirty mental asylum, they might not be, though.

I thought of them spattered with blood, because the next door, two feet ahead of me, was going to fly open, and Ice was going to drag me inside and slash my throat, and my blood was going to spray everywhere.

I shook myself.

That wasn’t going to happen.

Despite my intention to look only at the floor, I couldn’t help but steal a glance over my shoulder.

Something moved in the periphery of my vision.

I snapped my head back, my body electrified. What the hell had that been?

I didn’t see anything now. It had looked like a shadow, like nothing but darkness.

I gulped.

“I do not believe in ghosts,” I whispered.

And suddenly, the air seemed chillier.

I shivered, hugging myself.

In the distance, there was a loud crash and the sound of hysterical laughter.

I jumped.

And then I remembered that was Cade. He was supposed to make noise, draw Ice out.

“You’re being stupid,” I muttered to myself. “Think about Starling. Focus on her. There’s nothing in this place that can hurt you.”

Footsteps.

They were coming from the opposite direction that Cade had gone, the direction that I was walking towards.

They were coming fast. It was the sound of someone running.

The spirit of some mental patient, trying to escape, running through the halls for all eternity?

Something rounded the corner, running out ahead of the window. It was a man in a ski mask.

Fuck.

Ice.

My heart stuttering, I threw myself sideways, into the very room that I had thought he would pull me into.

Inside, it was brightly lit, sunlight streaming through a wall of windows. The room was empty except for a tattered dividing curtain, which was half falling off the rungs. I flattened myself against the wall, trying desperately not to breathe very loudly.

Had he seen me?

I tried to hear his footsteps, but it seemed like my damned heart was beating so loudly…

But there they were.

He was still going fast, and he was coming up the hallway.

I couldn’t be sure if he was coming for me, or if he was going to go past me.

I held my breath.

I clutched at the wall, my fingernails against the concrete.

The footsteps grew nearer.

My body shook.

Nearer still.

Oh, God, he had seen me. He was going to come in here, and all those visions I’d seen of him, they were going to come true. He was going to cut me to pieces, and all the time, I would only see his eyes, never his face. His damned eyes would be the last thing I saw before I died.

I cringed, wishing I could melt into the wall.

And the footsteps passed me.

I sagged against the wall, letting out my breath.

He hadn’t seen me after all.

I waited for several minutes—long minutes—just to be sure that he was gone.

And then I peered out into the hallway.

Nothing there.

I stepped out of the room and darted down the hallway. I had to get to Starling.

* * *

Cade

“Well, you found me.” Ice’s voice.

I turned. I was in what had once been some kind of meeting room. It was vast, with big windows, full of overturned couches, the stuffing coming out on the floor. They were all probably motels for mice these days.

Ice was across the room from me, framed in a doorway. He was still wearing his mask.

“Hiding as always, I see.”

He stepped into the room. “I thought I explained the mask to you.”

I nodded slowly. “Oh, yeah, I remember. You’re so fucked up in the head that you actually think the mask is the real you.”

He laughed. “I’m fucked in the head? You’re the one who can’t even accept what you are. All your stupid rules, Cade. You know that you want all the things that I want. You just won’t let yourself.”

“Just because I want something doesn’t mean I should take it,” I said. “There are better reasons to be alive on earth than selfish ones.”

He snorted, taking a few more steps into the room. “Yes, you’re a real humanitarian.”

“You’ll want to take off the mask, Ice,” I said. “It’s going to be an impediment to this interaction we’re about to have.” And I strode across the room to stand directly in front of him.

He didn’t take off the mask. “Interaction? And here I thought you’d just put a bullet in my back, the way you do all your other hits.”

“I’m not here to kill you.”

“Don’t even look them in the eye, do you? Afraid you’ll enjoy watching them die, aren’t you? Afraid that if you watch, you’ll get so hooked that you won’t be able to stop.”

I grimaced. “Take off the mask.”

“Why run from it? Why not be what we are? You and I together, we could have so much fun, Cade. We could paint the walls with blood.” When he said it, there was a wistful longing in his voice.

And I felt the tug of it too. I wasn’t going to deny that I felt it. But I didn’t much appreciate his bringing it up, rubbing my face in it. This was all my private struggle, and I’d shared it with him, because I had hoped that I’d find a kindred spirit in Ice. I was always so terribly alone, and I wanted him to be just like me, so that someone, anyone, could understand.

“Why should I take off the mask?” he said.

I slugged him. My fist in his jaw. It was muffled a little bit by the knit fabric, but it stung my knuckles anyway.

His head whipped to one side. Then he turned back to look at me, surprise in his eyes.

“Take off the mask,” I said. “Or you won’t see the next one coming either.”

Ice ripped the mask off his head, and there he was—just a normal looking guy with freckles and red hair. A ginger, I thought, smirking. He bared his teeth and dove onto me.

I sidestepped. “If you want to hurt someone, Ice, hurt me.”

Ice was behind me now. “I never wanted to hurt you, Cade. All I wanted was for you to understand. And you do. And yet you refuse—” He ran for me, leaping on my back.

I shook at him, trying to get him off, my hands going to his hands, which were holding onto my shoulders.

He brought his legs around my hips. He tightened his arms around my neck. “I don’t want to kill you,” he said in my ear. “But if I have to, I will.”

I went down on one knee, fighting to get air. I struggled against him, but I couldn’t get free.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Shell

Starling was right where Cade had told me she would be. She was strapped down to one of those gurney things that I had seen in the hallway. There was a gag in her mouth, and her eyes were wild and frightened.

I hurried over to her once I got inside the room, trying not to look at the little table that was set up next to her, full of sharp, rusty instruments. Ice had been going to use them on her, undoubtedly, and I didn’t even want to think about that.

I tore the gag out of her mouth.

She screamed.

I stuck it back in. “Shh!”

She was still screaming.

“Starling, shut up,” I said in a fierce whisper. “What if he hears and comes back?”

She stopped screaming.

I pulled the gag out of her mouth. “I’m here to rescue you.”

“How did you find me?”

I moved over to start undoing her restraints. “That guy that took me hostage, he knew how to find Ice—”

“The guy that killed Larbi?” Her face contorted.

“Well, yeah,” I said. “But he didn’t kill him because he didn’t like him or anything. He killed him because it was a job. Did you know that Larbi was funding terrorists?”

“That’s a lie,” she said.

I yanked open the last restraint. “Look, how well did you really know him?”

“I loved him.”

“He was paying you to fuck him.” I glared at her.

She scooted off the gurney and onto her feet.

I helped her.

“Look, Shell, you just don’t get it. You’ve never been in love.”

“I was engaged.”

“To a gay man.”

“I loved him.”

“You couldn’t really love him.”

I glowered at her. “I’m starting to regret the fact that I even rescued you.”

“Well, you haven’t really rescued me yet, have you? I mean, we’re still inside this place.”

“Right,” I said. “Well, let’s go, then.” I started for the door. “Follow me.”

She hurried behind me.

* * *

Cade

I couldn’t breathe. I scrabbled at Ice’s arms, trying to loosen them. But it wasn’t working.

Ice chuckled softly. “After all this, after all your holier-than-thou code nonsense, all it took me was one move to choke away your—”

I drove my elbow into his ribs.

He coughed. He didn’t let go.

But I’d won back a larger range of movement. I elbowed him again. Harder this time.

His grip on my neck loosened. He grunted.

I elbowed him again.

He stumbled backward.

I got to my feet, stretching my neck.

“Look,” he said. “This is stupid, what we’re doing. You’re my friend. You’re my best friend.”

“You don’t even know how to have friends.”

“As if you do. You know we’re both different than them. We aren’t weak like they are. We don’t form those stupid attachments.”

I advanced on him. “That’s where you’re wrong, Ice. Because I do form attachments. I do care. That’s what makes me different than you. That’s what you’ll never understand. Because you are fucked up. You’re broken.”

His face twisted. “Take that back.”

I punched him again. An undercut to the chin.

His head snapped backwards. He howled in pain. “Fuck you, Cade. Fuck you!”

I punched him again. This time in the stomach.

He doubled over. He reached for me, gasping. “You know that I don’t stand a chance against you in a fist fight, you asshole.”

“Maybe you should work out more,” I said. “Spend a little less time picking on people weaker than you.”

He put his hand on my chest. “You won, you won,” he managed. “Let it go. Take the damned girl, and let’s forget about it.”

I grabbed him by the throat and drove him backwards into the wall. “I don’t think so.”

His eyes bulged.

“You’re going to leave me alone now,” I said. “I’m not going to see you again. And you’re not going to take anymore government jobs. Leave those to my team, okay?”

He nodded. He tried to speak, but only a rattle came out.

I pulled him forward, both hands on his shoulders. I slammed his head into the wall as hard as I could.

He was unconscious instantly.

I let go of him and he fell to the floor in a heap.

* * *

Shell

“I’m not going anywhere with him.” Starling was ripping off her seatbelt and climbing out of the car. “When you said we were waiting for someone I thought maybe the police or the FBI or someone official. But no. You came out here by yourself with him.”

Cade, who’d just come out of the building, hurried over and stopped her. “You’ve got to get back in the car. We don’t have time for this.”

“I couldn’t go to the police,” I said. “Ice said he’d kill you if I did.”

“Don’t touch me,” said Starling, ripping her arm away from Cade. To me, “Why do you keep calling him Ice?”

“That’s his name,” I said. “Well, his handle, anyway. He goes by Ice.”

“And you know this how?”

“Cade knows him,” I said.

“Knows him? Like they’re friends?”

“No,” I said, even though I was sort of lying, I guessed.

“Get in the car,” said Cade. “Or I will throw you into the car.”

Starling gaped at him. She looked at his face, which was deadly serious and then she looked at me. “Fine,” she muttered. She climbed into the car.

Cade closed the door after her and went around to the driver’s side.

“But I don’t like this,” said Starling. “And you better bet that I’m going to go to the police and tell them everything about you, asshole. You killed my boyfriend.”

“He wasn’t your boyfriend!” I felt like it was really important that I point this out.

Cade slid into the car and put the keys in the ignition. “Your ‘boyfriend’ caused the deaths of hundreds of people in the middle east. He funded groups who killed women if they weren’t wearing the right kind of scarf on their heads.”

“No, he didn’t. He didn’t care about that shit.” Starling leaned up between the seats.

I was in the backseat with her. I yanked her back. “Stop it.”

Cade pulled the car out of its parking space. We were off. “There was evidence, but the government couldn’t touch him because he was a foreign dignitary. They went to the government of Nemekistan, and they wouldn’t give up the prince. So, they hired me. And trust me, Prince Larbi Hassan deserved to die.”

“He was a wonderful man.”

Cade shrugged. “Oh, sure. Tell me, Starling, did your ‘boyfriend’ ever loan you out to other men?”

Starling folded her arms over her chest.

My eyes widened. “Is that true?”

“No,” said Starling in a small voice.

But I knew that voice. She was lying. I shook my head. “How can you claim to be in love with this guy?”

“It wasn’t like he forced me or anything. Everything I did, I did willingly.”

“But if he was giving you to other men, then he obviously didn’t care about you at all,” I said.

“Oh, you’re so closed-minded. Just because you love someone doesn’t mean that you have to want to keep them all to yourself.”

“Yes, it does,” I said. “Cade, would you ever share your girlfriend?”

“If I had thirty girlfriends,” he said, and he grinned wickedly into the rearview mirror.

“You don’t understand,” said Starling.

“I don’t,” I agreed. “And I don’t want to. I just want you to realize that you are worth more than this.”

“Shut up,” said Starling. “You don’t understand and you never will. Prince Larbi was the best thing that ever happened to me. He gave me the best gifts and he let me do all the shopping I wanted and he made me feel beautiful. And now he’s dead, and you’re running around with the man who killed him.” She dissolved into tears.

Geez. My sister sounded like the most shallow person on earth. Gifts? Shopping? Feeling pretty? That was all it took to win her over? Didn’t she want a soul mate? Didn’t she want someone who she could be herself with?

And then I thought about the fact that I’d let Cade fuck me over the sink this morning, and I realized that maybe I was just as bad as she was.

I scrunched down in my seat. Maybe it was in our genes. Maybe we were both destined to fall for the complete wrong kind of guy. Maybe we just couldn’t help ourselves.

Or maybe it was only me. Maybe I was screwed up in the head, and I’d screwed up Starling from the things that I’d done to her.

She didn’t know what I’d done, but if she ever found out…

“Where are you taking me?” Starling demanded.

I realized I didn’t know the answer to this question either. “I guess you can come back to my place.”

“Your place?” she said. “For how long? I need to get home.”

“To mom and dad’s house?” I said. My parents lived in another state. I’d followed Starling to D.C. years ago, and then she’d gone to Nemekistan on me.

“Of course not,” she said. “To Prince Larbi’s family.”

“You’re not part of their family,” I said to her. “You’re hired help.”

“You’re always so horrible to me,” she said, glaring at me, her eyes wet.

I sighed.

* * *

Shell

I sat on the couch, and Cade sat on the easy chair in my living room.

Starling was in my shower. I told her to stay in there as long as she liked. I couldn’t imagine how horrible it must have been to have been held by Ice like that.

Cade and I weren’t talking.

There were things I wanted to say to him. As recently as this morning, I’d wanted to be around him all of the time. And when I looked him over—his broad shoulders and his strong hands—I still wanted him. He was gorgeous and sexy, and he’d made me feel things that I hadn’t ever even dreamed of.

And yet…

I couldn’t get past what he’d said to me in the car about fantasizing about killing someone.

I think that part of me had known that I wasn’t cool with the fact that he was a contract killer, but that I’d shoved it to the side, because I didn’t need to think about it too closely. But now it was in my face, and it wasn’t the kind of thing I could ignore.

Having sex with him once was one thing. But if I did it again… I’d fall for him hard. I knew myself. I couldn’t handle having casual sexual relationships. I couldn’t do the fuck-buddy thing.

I had to stop this whole thing before it got worse.

“He was pissed when I left,” Cade said suddenly.

“Who was?” I was confused.

“Ice. He was pissed. I knocked him unconscious and I left him like that, but he wasn’t exactly being a gracious loser.”

A chill went through me. “What are you saying? Are you saying that he’s going to come back after Starling?”

“I don’t know,” said Cade. “Even if he doesn’t, there’s a price on your sister’s head. She’s not safe regardless.”

“Oh God,” I whispered.

“I don’t think…” He placed his open palm on the arm of the easy chair. “I don’t think either of you should stay here. And you’d both be safer with me.”

I licked my lips. “Really? Safer? You aren’t fantasizing about killing us?”

He let out a low chuckle. “You scared of me now, love?”

I felt the urge to scramble back up on the couch and hug my knees to my chest. I didn’t move. “No.”

“You didn’t sound so scared this morning when you were begging me to—”

“Don’t.” My voice cracked.

We were quiet.

He shut his eyes.

I ran my hands through my hair. It was still all tangly, damn it. Maybe I needed to take another shower, just to put a gallon of conditioner on my hair.

He opened his eyes, and he was different. He gave me his typical lopsided grin. “Hey, I get it. I’m not the kind of guy that girls want to get snuggly with. It’s fine. You gotta admit we had some fun, though.”

I didn’t know what to say.

He held up both his hands. “I promise not to push, okay? I’ll just keep you safe, both of you. No touching.”

And somewhere inside me, I felt deeply disappointed at that prospect. I was very screwed up. Very. I opened my mouth to tell him that now that Starling was safe, we’d just both go to the police, and they would protect us, but Starling appeared in the living room.

She was dressed in my clothes, and her hair was freshly blow dried. She was holding a lipstick tube. “You need to toss half of your makeup, Shell. It’s way too old to keep around.”

“Hey, I like that lipstick,” I said.

“If you really liked it, you would have used it up before it got disgusting.”

“My lipstick is not—”

“Let’s not fight about this too.” She glared at me.

I clamped my mouth shut. I didn’t know how I could stand being around her now. I was glad she was safe and all, but sheesh.

“Anyway,” she said, “I’m leaving.”

“You can’t,” said Cade. “The government ordered a hit on you.”

“What?” She turned wide eyes on him. “That’s ridiculous.”

“You were talking a lot,” said Cade, “and they thought that if you didn’t shut up, then people might look too closely at Larbi’s death, and figure out who ordered the hit. That wouldn’t look good for them.”

“So, they’re just going to have me killed? But this is America.” She sounded highly offended at the thought of being murdered, but not the least bit frightened.

Cade shrugged.

“Well, don’t worry,” said Starling. “I already called Raakin, Larbi’s brother. He’s sending a car for me.”

“What?” I said. “Why would he do that?”

“Well, Raakin always liked me. And he and I had a little bit of a connection, so I reached out to him. I used your phone. I know you’d rather be rid of me anyway.”

“A connection?”

Cade smiled sardonically. “So, you were passed about between brothers. How sweet and familial.”

“You know nothing.” Starling pointed at him. “You’re a killer, and I hope that you are shot down like the dog that you are.”

Cade didn’t seem phased. “You know, I managed to get through the security at the Hassan estate. Other killers will be able to do it too. You won’t be safe there.”

“I’ll take my chances,” said Starling.

I got up. “Don’t.” I went to her, and I grabbed both of her hands. “I know that you think that you have to act like this, and I know you don’t like me, and God knows I haven’t always been the best sister to you, but please, Starling, don’t go back to those people.”

She gave me a sad smile. “I’m sorry, sweetie, but you don’t get it. My whole life, I’ve been looking for the thing that I was good at, my calling, you know. And now I’ve found it. I’m really fucking good at this. And the money is great. And it’s amazing. And I know you can’t understand it, but I wish you’d let me have this, because I’m happy.” She removed her hands from mine. “Sorry, little sis. You can’t save a person who doesn’t want to be saved.”

And then she walked out of my apartment.

I just watched her.

* * *

Shell

After Starling left, Cade and I were alone.

I wasn’t sure what to do. He had said that I might still be in danger. I was worried about Starling, but I didn’t see how I could force her to stay with us. It only made sense that she would be angry and distrustful of Cade. If I had any sense, I wouldn’t have trusted him either.

It wasn’t just the sex or the fact that I was attracted to him.

Despite his words, I got a vibe from him that put me at ease. Maybe he wasn’t a bad guy after all. He did say that he had a code.

But I knew that was the kind of thing that women told themselves to keep themselves in relationships with bad men. That they were actually good deep down, that underneath that hard exterior, they were sweet teddy bears.

I wasn’t an idiot. I didn’t think I could change him.

Honestly, there was no proposed relationship. As far as I knew, he only wanted to have sex with me. And maybe he didn’t even want that anymore. Maybe he was bored with me.

Still, he didn’t leave, and I didn’t ask him to.

I took a shower. I coated my hair in conditioner. When I was done, I let Cade take a shower, grateful for the fact that my apartment building seemed to have an endless supply of hot water.

While he was showering, I flicked on the television, wanting something to distract me from my thoughts.

To my surprise, the first thing that came on was the news, and it was Starling again.

I felt like it was deja vu. The last time I’d watched TV in this apartment, Starling had been all over the news.

“…it’s a travesty on the part of our government,” Starling was saying.

The screen switched back to the news anchors. “That is Starling Birch again, vocal member of Prince Larbi Hassan’s harem, a U.S. citizen, now claiming that she was captured by a contract killer hired by the government, who was also responsible for the death of the prince,” said a coiffed anchorwoman.

The anchorman next to her chuckled. “You have to wonder if she’s making this up as she goes along or what.”

“It is a very bizarre story,” agreed the anchorwoman.

“If she was captured by a contract killer, why is she still alive?” said the anchorman.

The anchorwoman shrugged, chuckling as well. Then she turned to the camera. “In related news, a candlelight vigil being held this evening for the prince. We go now live to the preparations in town. Marie Stone is on the scene. Marie?”

“She didn’t waste time, did she?” said Cade’s voice behind me.

I turned, and immediately sucked in my breath. He had a towel wrapped around his narrow hips, and his chest was bare, except for another towel around his neck. Little droplets of water were clinging to every swell of him.

Oh, fuck, what I wouldn’t give to lick those droplets of water off him.

I shook myself. “Yeah. You’re lucky she didn’t know who you were, I guess. She would have blabbed that all over the news too.”

“Well, it’s probably a good move, actually,” said Cade, using another towel to rub his hair dry. “Right now, everyone thinks it’s a farfetched story and they’re dismissing it. If she actually turns up dead, then it’ll give credence to her story. So, she probably just saved her own life.”

“You think so?” My heart surged.

“I do,” he said. “I can actually check with my contact if you want.”

I nodded.

He smiled at me.

“Thanks,” I said.

“Anytime.”

We gazed at each other.

“Was the shower, um, okay?” I said.

“Warm and wet,” he said, raising both eyebrows at me.

I flushed.

He started to towel off his shoulders.

Holy fuck, the ripples in that man’s chest… I turned my head sideways.

He was still grinning at me. He started to move more slowly, like he was putting on a show for me. “Are you staring at me?”

I tried to look away, I really did. “No.” I was staring at him.

“Like what you see?” He ran his tongue over his teeth.

I tried to keep my breathing even. But I couldn’t. And I seemed to be drawn closer to him, like a magnet. I took small steps in his general direction. “You’re just… you’re very… bare.”

He laughed low in his throat. “Which is a good thing?”

“It’s not horrible.” I stopped, less than a foot between us. I lifted my hand and placed my fingertips on his stomach. So firm and warm and flat. I gasped a little.

His voice was deep. “You’re very clothed.”

I let out a little sigh. “But we can’t…”

“Can’t what?”

I looked into his eyes. “This thing with us, it’s not a good idea.”

“Maybe not.”

We gazed at each other.

He swallowed. His voice was soft. “I’d like to see you naked, love.”

My whole body started to feel tight.

“I’d like to touch you everywhere.”

I ran my fingers down to the place where his towel was tucked in. “That doesn’t sound horrible either.”

His face dipped down. He gazed into my eyes.

I shut mine.

And his lips found mine, urgent and hot and sweetly demanding.

I opened to him, let our tongues dance together.

His hand left my cheek and traveled down to settle at the small of my back. He pressed me tight against him.

His skin was still wet. I felt it through my clothes. I grabbed his arms and traced the bulge of his biceps. He was so nicely put together. Having a guy like this kissing me, close to me, wanting me— I liked it. I couldn’t deny how much I liked it.

My door opened.

We both froze.

“Well,” said a voice that I had distinctly hoped never to hear again. “You two really are having a hard time keeping your hands off each other, aren’t you?”

CHAPTER TWELVE

Cade

“Ice,” I growled, ripping away from Shell to confront him.

He sized me up and smirked.

Okay, so I was only wearing a towel. That maybe made me seem a little less threatening than I might have otherwise. I drew myself up anyway. “What are you doing here? We had a deal.”

Ice pointed at Shell. “She’s seen my face. I can’t let her live.” He grinned, and his whole face was lit up with an insane delight.

Shell stepped back, shaking her head. “But that’s only because you’re in my apartment. Without your damned mask.”

I shot her a look. “Don’t worry about it. I will take care of this.” I turned back to Ice. “Let me put on some pants—”

“I don’t think so,” said Ice, and he grabbed Shell by the arm.

Fuck. That was not cool. I wasn’t exactly sure what it was about this girl, but I couldn’t let anything happen to her. Maybe it was only because I hadn’t finished having sex in all the positions and locations that I wanted. Maybe it was only that.

I hoped it was only that.

Because if it wasn’t…

But Ice was yanking her out of the bedroom, and there was no time to think about it.

I darted back into the bathroom, where my clothes were piled on top of the toilet. I grabbed my gun, and I rushed back out into the bedroom, one hand holding my towel in place, one hand holding the gun.

They were gone.

“Ice, this is stupid!” I yelled, and there was panic in my voice. “Let’s just talk.” I rushed out into the hallway in time to see him dragging her into the living room.

I dashed up the hall, raising my gun and colliding with the both of them. I put the barrel at the back of his skull.

He stopped, stiffening.

“Let go of her,” I said.

“You have a gun on me, Cade?”

“Let go of her,” I repeated, my voice low and serious.

“I thought that you weren’t going to kill me.”

“Maybe I changed my mind.”

“Because of her?”

“Because you’ve got bad breath,” I said, angry now. Why did he have to make this into a thing? He was only here because he was a sore fucking loser. “Because I don’t like gingers.”

“Hey,” said Ice. “I am not a ginger.”

“Shell, is he a ginger?” I said.

She looked at me like I was crazy. She was terrified.

“My hair is auburn,” said Ice.

“Whatever,” I said. I cocked the gun. “Let go of her.”

“I don’t see why you won’t just work with me here.” His voice was desperate, full of longing. “We could do it together. I would share her with you. I’ve always wanted to kill with someone else, and you’re the only one—”

“Let go of her!” I was screaming.

Ice let go of her. He pushed her away, sent her stumbling into the living room.

Shell collided with the arm of the couch. She gripped it for dear life.

“Now take the gun away,” said Ice.

I lowered it.

Ice turned. “What’s so special about this one?”

“It’s not about her, it’s about you,” I said. “You broke our deal, and you act like it doesn’t matter.”

“Oh, bullshit, Cade. You and I have been friends for a long time, and some girl would never come between us.”

“We aren’t friends.”

“Why not?”

“Because you won’t follow my code, and I can’t be part of that.”

He folded his arms over his chest. “Your code? Really?”

My fingers twitched around the gun.

He sneered. “Your code only locks you in a cage. I want to set you free.”

“You want to use me, just like you use everyone else. You aren’t capable of friendship.”

“Oh.” He stuck out his lower lip. “Did I hurt Cade’s widdle feelings?”

I raised the gun, pressing it into his forehead. “Don’t mock me when I’m holding a gun, dumbass.”

Ice grabbed the barrel, holding it in place. He grinned. “It’s probably not even loaded.”

Truthfully, I hadn’t checked. I should know, but Shell distracted the fuck out of me, and all I could think about when I looked into the past was how badly I’d wanted her and—damn it.

Ice laughed.

I almost pulled the trigger, just to find out. But that would make a fucking mess of Shell’s apartment. I lowered the gun and took Ice by the arm. I dragged him across the living room and took him out of the apartment.

I was still in my towel.

A couple of Shell’s neighbors were walking by. They eyed me, and then looked away.

I hid the gun behind my back. “You’re leaving, Ice.”

“Sure,” he said. “I’ll go.”

I shook my head at him. “But this is war between us, isn’t it?”

He shrugged. “It doesn’t have to be. Give in. Do what you’ve always wanted to do. I know you, Cade, and a girl like that? You would love to kill her.”

“No, I wouldn’t,” I snapped, but maybe I said it too fast. Maybe I wasn’t sure.

“Then I guess it is war.” He backed away, giving me a mock salute. “See you around, buddy.”

I glared at him, watching him go.

When he was out of site, I backed into the apartment and locked the doors.

* * *

Shell

I couldn’t stop shaking. I kept flashing on the moment when Ice grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the bedroom, away from Cade. I had never been so afraid for my life. Even when Cade grabbed me, had the gun to my head, I hadn’t been…

Well, that was probably because I was too busy being really fucking attracted to him.

So, what did that mean? Did that mean that if a guy was easy on the eyes, I was totally willing to let him try to kill me?

No, it couldn’t be that. There was something that I’d felt from Cade, a sort of vibe. I didn’t necessarily believe in that sort of thing, but I knew that I got a completely different vibe from Ice. A bad one. I couldn’t explain it, but I always trusted my gut feeling, no matter how unlikely it seemed. I felt that feeling in reverse with Cade, and I trusted it. I trusted him.

He was standing inside the door to the apartment, still only wearing a towel.

Before Ice had stormed in, we’d been about ready to have sex.

I wondered if we could go back to what we were doing. I mean, Cade was a bad guy and all, and there were things that the two of them were saying to each other that I didn’t like… But I watched the muscles in his back ripple as he rested his head against the door, frustrated. And I couldn’t remember anything except for the fact that I really wanted to see the rest of his bare body.

“We need to get out of here,” he told the door.

Oh. Okay. I guessed that we didn’t have time for some rough footage, then.

He sighed. “I’m sorry about this, but you’re not safe here. He knows where you live, and I can’t leave you here.”

“You were going to leave?” I said in a tiny voice.

He turned around. “You didn’t want me to leave?”

“Well, I mean… before he showed up, we were kind of…” I bit my lip.

“Yeah.” His voice dropped several octaves and his gaze swept my body.

We stood there for a minute, and the air between us felt electric.

He took several steps closer to me, still staring at me. “I can’t leave you alone, because you’ll be safer with me. Wherever I am.”

“Okay,” I whispered. That didn’t sound bad to me. At all.

“But I have work to do.”

“Work?” I breathed. “As in…”

He nodded slowly.

“Oh,” I said.

He closed the distance between us and pulled me into his arms. His lips found mine.

I twined my hands around his neck and kissed him back.

His lips left mine to travel over my jaw. “If I was just going to go on my own this evening, we could spend the afternoon doing this, love.”

I sighed, tilting my head back to give him access to my neck.

He trailed kisses down my neck. “But if you’re coming with me, you’re going to need something to wear.”

I was getting shivers. I wanted him to keep kissing me forever.

He nibbled my ear lobe. “So, we’re going to have to go shopping.”

I pulled back. “Shopping?”

He gave me a lopsided grin. “Unless you have an evening gown in your closet?”

“Evening gown? I thought you were going to kill someone.”

“I am. And this job requires evening wear.”

“I can’t afford—”

“My treat obviously.”

I blinked. Well, I hadn’t thought about it, but I guessed that killing people probably paid pretty well. Still, everything seemed surreal. An evening gown? Right after I’d nearly been killed? And now that it came down to it, why was I all over him when I had all these questions about who and what he was. I pulled away. “Why did he say that stuff to you?”

“What stuff?”

“About killing me together?”

“He’s crazy, that’s why.” Cade abruptly stalked down the hallway, back to my bedroom.

I went after him. “But you? You’re totally sane?”

“Completely.” He was out of sight, but his voice carried through the doorway.

I walked into the bedroom, but I didn’t see him. I walked towards the bathroom. “And I’m just supposed to take your word for that?”

He was shutting the door. He held it open for a second. “You can stay here if you want. I’ll go, and then if he shows back up here, you can take your chances.”

“I’m not—” I licked my lips. “Look, obviously, I’m grateful for everything you’ve done for me.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Are you?”

“But why are you doing it? Just to get between my legs?”

“That already happened.” He slammed the door in my face.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Shell

When he came out of the bathroom, he was dressed, and he wouldn’t even look at me. It wasn’t that he was in a bad mood. On the contrary, he was probably more animated and easy-going than usual. It was as if he was going to wipe away any tension or fear out of our situation by sheer force of will.

I wondered if this was how he coped with what he did. Just forced himself to change the subject and be cheerful.

He immediately got on the phone. “Hi, Joanie,” he said in a light voice. “Oh, I’m doing great, and how are you?”

Why was he calling a girl named Joanie?

“Did she really? Boy or girl?” he asked the receiver. He paused. “Oh, that’s wonderful. Tell her congratulations…. Listen, I know this is short notice, but I’d like to come by this afternoon… No, no, I’m not looking for a suit.”

“Are you calling a store?” I said. “You call stores? You don’t just go?”

He held up a finger to me, listening to his phone. “No, Joanie, I don’t need anything like that. I’m not looking for me.” He paused and then laughed. “Yes, she does happen to be of the female persuasion. She’s got very classic looks. You’ll have a ball picking out things for her.” He laughed again. “I know you do, and I appreciate it.”

I glared at him. Who was he? What contract killer did this?

He looked at me. “What size are you?”

I made a face. “You know, that’s kind of rude to ask.”

He sized me up. “You want me to guess?”

I sighed. I told him.

He relayed the information to Joanie on the phone. “If possible, could we have at least ten when we get there to just look at? And then we might have you get some more depending on what direction we go.” He waited. “That would be fabulous. Definitely. And no, I don’t think it’s too early.” He hung up, still smiling.

I just shook my head at him. “Where are we going?”

“Nordstrom.”

“You shop there?”

He just smiled.

I gaped at him. It was like I didn’t know him at all. Actually, I guessed that really was accurate. Despite the amount of time I’d spent with him, he really was a stranger to me.

“Well, you ready to go? They’re waiting for us.”

I looked down at my clothes. “I feel like I should change.”

“You’re just going to take them off when you get there,” he said. “Come on.” He gestured with his head toward the door. “Besides, you look great.”

I looked around at my room. “When are we coming back?”

He sighed. “Well, that I don’t know.”

“I need to work tomorrow at the restaurant,” I said.

“No way,” he said. “That’s not going to happen.”

“Well, I guess I’ll have to call in and tell them I can’t come.” I twisted my hands together. “Any idea how long we’ll be gone?”

He shook his head. “Not really.”

I sighed. “And… damn it, I was supposed to have a strip up today.” I looked at my computer.

“A strip?” He waggled his eyebrows.

“A comic strip, you perv.” I sighed.

“Oh, right,” he said. “You do webcomics.”

“I need to do it,” I said. “It will only take me about an hour or two. I sketch with my Bamboo tablet.” I pointed.

“On your laptop?” he said.

I nodded.

“Bring it along,” he said. “You’ll have an hour or two after we get the dress. But I have to say that your priorities are a little skewed, love. You’re in fear for your life here. How important is a comic strip?”

“Tell that to my subscribers,” I said, grimacing.

* * *

Shell

I had never tried on so many dresses in my life. Even when I went shopping on my own, I usually got tired after six or seven tries. If I hadn’t found something by then, I went for whatever I liked the best, rather than wandering through the store looking for something else to wear.

I’d never been shopping with someone assisting me in this way, who would go and pull dresses for me based on what she thought would look good or on the suggestion of either Cade or me.

“I want to see her in something red,” Cade was saying as I preened in front of the mirror in my eighteenth or twentieth different fancy dress. “Maybe something off the shoulder.”

Joanie handed me a glass of some kind of expensive champagne—which was apparently what Cade had said that it wasn’t too early for.

I took a sip. The champagne was going to my head, and I felt floaty and happy and warm. This was probably the best shopping experience I’d ever had.

“Red?” I said.

He looked at Joanie. “She’d look good in red, right?”

Joanie nodded. “Oh, definitely. She’s got the coloring for it.”

That might have been true, but I still never wore red. “I don’t really like red,” I said, scrunching up my nose. “It’s so conspicuous.”

Cade was lounging on a couch next to the dressing rooms, watching me parade around. He was drinking champagne too. “Conspicuous is good. You’ll be my camouflage. Everyone will be looking at you, and no one will even see me.”

Joanie laughed. “Certainly that’s not true, Mr. Davies. You’re very noticeable.”

He seemed to realized he’d slipped up a bit with that statement and he hid behind his champagne glass. “I want red anyway.”

“Well, it’s your money.” I turned to the mirror, making a face.

He grinned over the glass. “Yes, it is.”

So, Joanie brought a red dress, a little strappy thing with a big slit up the thigh and no back. When I put it on, I felt like I was half-naked. And it was so tight that there was no way I’d be able to sit down. I’d have unsightly bulges if I did.

I came out of the dressing room shaking my head. “There’s no way. I can’t wear this, I’m sorry.”

But then I saw the expression on Cade’s face as he took me in. It only flitted across for a second, and then he was grinning again, drinking his champagne. But for one second I saw hungry, naked need.

It took my breath away.

“Don’t be silly,” he said, draining his champagne glass. “That’s the dress.” To Joanie. “Ring it up.” He took out his wallet and handed her a wad of cash. “Should cover it?”

She surreptitiously counted it. “Oh, yes, Mr. Davies. Excellent. I’ll bring your change.” She disappeared.

Cade turned to me, arching an eyebrow. “You need help getting out of that thing?”

I closed myself back in the dressing room without answering. The last thing I wanted to do was get it on in Nordstrom. That was way too trashy. Not happening. And if he helped me get undressed, well…

As I was getting my clothes back on, I heard Joanie return. She counted back Cade’s change, which was over fifty dollars. I guessed he’d handed her a wad of hundreds.

I gulped.

“What happened to the other girl?” said Joanie. “You brought her four or five times.”

I was clasping my bra, but I froze. The other girl?

Cade cleared his throat. “You’ll probably want to take the dress from Shell. She can hand it out, can’t you, love?”

“Oh, I didn’t realize—” Joanie was obviously embarrassed. “How are you doing in there, Shell?”

“Fine.” I opened the door and handed out the dress.

“I’ll wrap this up for you,” she said.

“Do that,” said Cade.

It was stupid to think that I’d be the only girl he’d ever bought clothes for, I told myself as I finished getting dressed. It wasn’t as if he’d been living under a rock before he met me. And there wasn’t anything between us, anyway. So, he was free to buy as many dresses for as many women as he wanted.

But suddenly, the whole thing seemed tainted, and I didn’t feel bubbly or warm anymore.

I was actually developing a wine headache.

I emerged from the dressing room.

He was tucking his change back into his wallet. “We don’t have to be there until nearly eight,” he said. “You’ll have time to work on your comic and then we can get some food.”

“Okay,” I said.

He looked up at me, but then he looked away.

And I didn’t know what to say.

* * *

Cade

I took her home. To my actual house. I took girls here sometimes, if I had to bring them home with me. I didn’t like that, because then it was hard to get rid of them, and I often wanted to get rid of them. So, generally speaking, if I met a girl at a bar or something, I tried to get her to invite me back to her place. Much easier that way.

The only woman who I’d ever brought back here with any regularity was Angie, and I didn’t like thinking about that. I probably only was thinking of her because that stupid woman at the store had the nerve to bring her up. I could have slugged her for doing that.

Anyway, my place was my sanctuary. I’d had it custom-built, and it was tucked away on about fifty acres, meaning that I had a good bit of privacy. Having that much land meant it wasn’t really close to the city, of course. I was about an hour’s drive away. The solitude was worth it to me. The house was very modern. It had a lot of sharp angles and black marble and glass walls. I liked it to feel open, to let in the light. This was the place that I didn’t have to hide.

When she saw the place, Shell seemed impressed, and that pleased me.

She tried to hide it, tried to act as if she thought the house was no big deal, but I could see that she was a little awed by it.

I wasn’t sure why I was glad of that. I guess I just liked her thinking well of me, thinking well of my accomplishments. It was stupid, maybe a dumb guy thing to care about, but I liked that I could impress her. I wanted to impress her.

Even though I knew that it was stupid to bring her back here, because now I would have memories of her here, and after she left, there would be rooms that I wouldn’t be able to stand being in for days afterward. I loved my house. I loved the solitude.

Sometimes, though, I had to admit that the solitude could be crushing.

I could have taken her somewhere else. I should have. We could have gone to headquarters. We could have gone to a hotel room. But I brought her here.

I was stupid, all right.

Once we were settled in, I left her to work on her comic strip, which I had to admit that I was curious about. I wanted to see it, but I didn’t dare ask. Since it was on the Internet, however, I went searching for it, and it wasn’t hard to find. She seemed to write a strip about a single girl in D.C. who drank a lot. It was funny. The main character was unlucky in love and looked a lot like Shell. I could only suppose that the thing was semi-autobiographical.

There was a donate button on the site, and I clicked it.

It asked for the amount I’d like to donate. I typed in five thousand dollars.

Too much. She’d wonder where it came from.

I typed in one thousand.

Still too much?

Maybe I could donate five hundred twice, from two different Paypal accounts. I had two, one legitimate, one not so much. But I really shouldn’t use the unlegitimate one for something like this.

I sighed.

I typed in five thousand again. Let her wonder.

* * *

Cade

I clutched Shell’s elbow, steering her through the ballroom. It was all low lighting and understated decor. There were waiters with black bow ties going to and fro with glasses of champagne, and the guests were gathered in small groups, wearing their designer clothing and making pleasant faces.

“Smile and keep your chin up, love, like you’re too good to be here. It’ll help you blend in,” I whispered in her ear.

She looked amazing in the dress, and I had been right that she would stand out, that everyone would look at her, and no one would look at me. My client had gotten me onto the guest list at this charity function, held in the ballroom of a ritzy hotel downtown. I had planned to come alone, but having Shell with me was the perfect disguise. No one would look twice at me. She was handy to have around, actually. I wondered if maybe, after this was all over, she’d want to—

But that was ridiculous. Even though there was some crazy sexual tension between us, a girl like Shell would never willingly extend her interaction with a guy like me. I knew that.

It was best to enjoy the moment, not to dwell on the future.

“We’ll walk around the room in a circle,” I said. “Nod at everyone.”

She glanced at me sidelong. “Why am I doing that?”

“So that everyone sees you. So that everyone notices you, and sees me with you. And then, if anyone should ever talk to the police, they’ll remember that you were hear the whole time, and they’ll be sure that I was with you as well.”

“I’m your alibi?” she said in a low voice.

“I don’t need an alibi,” I said. “You’re just extra insurance.”

“Well, at least I know why I’m here.”

I pressed against her. “You’re here to look stunning, to make every man in this room want you.”

Her neck flushed. “I’m not… No one’s thinking that about me.”

I brushed my fingertips over her back, almost carelessly. “You want to know what I’m thinking about?”

She swallowed.

I spoke low and urgently into her ear. “I’m thinking about peeling this dress down to put your perfect tits on display. I’m thinking about your pretty lipsticked mouth wrapped around my cock.”

She shut her her eyes, unsteady on her feet. When she spoke again, her voice sounded a little frayed, but she was still sassy. “You still think I’m going down on you, huh?”

“I know it.” I seized her by the back of the neck, turned her, and kissed her hard, claiming her mouth.

She clung to the lapels of my suit.

When I pulled back, she gave me a dazed look.

“Why don’t you see if you can get us some drinks?” I pointed to a table across the room. “Maybe some hors d’oeuvres. I’ll be right back.” I strode off before she could give me an answer.

I saw my mark off to the left, talking to several men. His name was Brett Doherty. He headed a billion-dollar corporation that had covered up the fact they were testing their drugs on humans and that they’d killed hundreds of people with unsafe medications. I’d been hired to take him out by a competitor, someone who wanted to cut the head off of the company for financial purposes. But I’d taken the job because the guy was dirty. He knew what was going on. He didn’t care. He had killed for money, and he’d killed a lot more people than I ever had or would.

I grinned at him. “Brett! How’s Sally?”

He furrowed his brow at me. “She’s fine. I, um, sorry, have we met?”

I laughed. “You don’t remember me? From Aspen?”

He shook his head slowly.

“Well, that’s not a problem,” I said. “Because I remember you, and I remember you drunk off your ass, spilling your guts about the way you turned a profit on Asgodyne, so—”

“Maybe we should talk privately.” He looked alarmed.

“Maybe so,” I said. I took him by the arm and led him out of the room.

“Who are you?” he said as we cleared the doorway. “How do you know about Asgodyne, and what are you planning on doing with that information?”

“I’ll explain everything,” I said. “But let’s get some fresh air.” I steered him to the parking lot.

“Where are we going?” he said.

“Just to my car,” I said. “I’ve got some files there you’ll want to take a look at.”

“Listen,” he said. “If you want money, we can talk. I’m happy to enter into negotiations with you. How much are you looking for?”

I stopped us right next to my car. I patted him on the back. “Oh, I don’t need your money, Brett. Thing is, I’ve been hired to kill you.” I slid a hypodermic needle out of my sleeve and eased off the cap with one finger.

He jerked his head up. “You’ve been what?”

“You killed people, Brett. That’s why you’ve got to die.” I slid the needle into his neck.

He crumpled.

I caught him.

I popped the trunk open in my car and slid him inside. I’d finish this job later. No reason to kill him in a parking lot.

Instead, I headed back in to the party to find Shell, and I ate a few crab puffs and some mini-quiches.

“Let’s dance,” I told her. I felt keyed up, alive, ready to take on the world.

She shrugged. “Okay.”

I took her plate from her, and led her out onto the dance floor. I put my hands on her waist. I let them roam dangerously lower, over the curves of her ass. I touched her anywhere I damned well pleased.

She was in the dress I bought for her. She was on my arm. And I knew it wasn’t true, but I was going to ignore the truth and tell myself lies.

I was going to lie to myself that she was mine.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Shell

We didn’t stay at the charity ball for much longer than forty-five minutes, which was fine with me, because the dress might have made me look hot, but it was incredibly uncomfortable and awkward. Couple that with the fact that Cade couldn’t keep his hands off of me while we were dancing, and that was kind of working me up.

He looked amazing in a suit. He seemed sophisticated and yet primal, as if he’d encased all his raw power in designer clothes. The lines of his suit seemed to have been tailored just for him, cut to show off every aspect of his phenomenal body.

But all I could think about was how badly I wanted to loosen his tie and unbutton his shirt and put my mouth on the tawny solidness of his chest and stomach.

Being with Cade was like being half-aroused all the time, and there was never any time to release all the pressure. I thought I might pop soon.

One thing that did confuse me was that I had thought that we were there so that Cade could do a job, but he hadn’t. Unless he’d gone off any killed someone in the span of ten minutes, which was the only time he left my side.

Then, as we were driving off, I heard a muffled bang from the trunk.

“What’s that?” I said.

He switched on the radio, turning it up loud. “Don’t mind that.”

Oh, God. He had a man in the trunk of the car. An alive man. Was he going to kill the man in front of me?

I didn’t know if I could…

We drove. The music blasted. Every now and again, I could hear something from the trunk.

Eventually, Cade got off the interstate, and took a series of complicated turns, until we were somewhere in the middle of nowhere, on a tiny two-lane road that didn’t even have white lines painted on the edges.

We pulled onto a one-lane bridge, and Cade stopped the car, but he left the key in the ignition, the music still pumping. “Don’t listen,” he said to me.

* * *

Cade

I took off my jacket and dress shirt, leaving me in a white undershirt. I pulled on a pair of plastic gloves.

Bobbing my head to the music, I opened the trunk.

Brett looked up at me. He yelled.

I laughed. I dragged Brett out of the trunk by his hair.

“Please,” he said. “I’ve got a wife. A daughter.”

“What about the 248 people who died in Asgodyne trials?” I said. “Did they have wives? Husbands? Daughters? Dogs?”

“You don’t understand,” he said. “I had to compete. Every company is doing it—”

“No,” I said. “Some companies are actually not breaking the law.” And then I shot him.

I yanked a concrete block out of my trunk and some rope. Whistling along with the music, I tied the body to the block, and then I lugged them both over to the edge of the bridge and chucked them over.

I wiped my gun down with bleach water. Over the side it went as well.

I took a plastic cup out of the back of the car, filled it with bleach water. I peeled off my gloves and dunked them inside. I kicked it off the bridge too.

Then I turned around.

Shell had gotten out of the car, and she was standing there, watching me.

* * *

Shell

“You do like it,” I said. I shook my head. I got back in the car. I turned down the music.

Whistling. He’d been whistling. And he wasn’t the least bit affected by what he’d done at all.

He got in the car next to me. “Shall I tell you what it was that man did? How many people he killed?”

“I heard,” I whispered.

He started the car and continued over the bridge.

We drove.

We were quiet the whole way back to his house, which took nearly an hour and a half. While we were driving, I tried to gather myself, to think of what I was going to do.

But mostly I just felt terrified, because I was disgusted by what he’d just done, but I still felt half-aroused, and when I looked at him in that white undershirt, I felt hot and tight and shivery.

When we got back to his house, I threw myself out of the car and ran inside. His front door wasn’t locked. I guess he wasn’t paranoid. Maybe because he lived out here, all by himself, maybe because he knew he could protect himself if he needed to. I wasn’t sure.

I ran up the steps, unsure of where I was going. He’d showed me the kitchen and living room downstairs, but that was all.

I emerged at the top, into a master bedroom that seemed to stretch over the entire top floor of the house. It was a huge room, the walls all made of glass. The bed was against one wall, the comforter black and sleek.

Everything here seemed sterile. Beautiful, sure. Expensive, yes. But too clean and too big.

He came up behind me.

I rounded on him. “You can’t just be the judge and jury,” I said. “Even if he is guilty, that’s not how things are done.”

He took a step towards me. “It’s how I do things.”

I held my ground, refusing to feel bullied into retreating. “Well, you shouldn’t. Especially not since you seem to find it so enjoyable.”

“That’s exactly why I have to do it.” He closed the distance between us. “If I don’t let it out somehow, Shell, it’ll come out in bad ways. Worse ways.”

I put a hand on his chest. I meant to hold him at arms’ length, keep him away, but somehow it turned into a caress.

His voice was gruff. “I know you find me detestable, but you can’t deny that there’s something between us. You can’t tell me you don’t feel it.”

My mouth worked. I didn’t detest him.

“Take your hair down,” he murmured in a gravelly voice.

I did it. I didn’t argue, I just reached up and pulled the pins out and let it fall. “You’re not distracting me from this. You told me that I should stay away from you.”

He tangled his hand into my hair, holding my head in place. “That was before Ice was after you. Before your life was in danger. I can’t let you go now.”

I gazed into his eyes.

“You want me, and right now, I can hardly stand because I want you so badly.”

I licked my lips. My body seemed to undulate in time to the pitch and fall of his voice. “You’re a killer.”

“Yes,” he said.

“You’re a bad man.”

“Yes,” he said, his nostrils flaring.

“I shouldn’t want you.” I shook my head.

He kissed me.

I kissed him back.

He unzipped my dress.

It fell open.

He pushed it down to my waist.

I wasn’t wearing a bra, and I felt the air hit my skin. My nipples stiffened.

He sucked in a breath, taking me in. His other hand was still in my hair. He was holding me close to him.

I couldn’t get away. My heart pounded in my chest, and I felt languid warmth steal through my core. I was bared to him and keyed up and ready…

“Nice,” he whispered, one hand cupping my breast. “Nicer than I imagined.”

A surge of pleasure went through me. I shut my eyes.

His mouth on my nipple, hand loosening in my hair.

I threw back my head, letting out a little sigh.

He sucked.

A jolt of goodness shot down my body, lighting up my sex, where I was growing moist.

His mouth moved to my other breast. And then he went back and forth for what felt like several eternities. Each time he would take my sensitive flesh in his mouth, I thought that it was the most pleasure that I’d felt. And with each lick and suck and gentle nibble, my pleasure deepened. He worked me into a fever. I clutched him, gasping and moaning as he teased and tortured me.

He raised his head to look at me. “You like that, love?”

“Y-yes,” I managed.

“Are you wet?”

“Yes.”

“Very wet?”

“Dripping,” I gasped.

Abruptly, his hand tightened in my hair, yanking my hair against my neck.

It was painful. I yelped.

He loosened his grip for a second.

The release of the pain flooded me with pleasure, just like the spanking before. I moaned.

He kissed my neck. “Get on your knees,” he breathed.

Oh, fuck, he was going to make me… I did it. I was so turned on, and I remembered the way his cock had felt in my hand and inside me and I wanted to taste him. I wanted my mouth on him. I dropped to my knees, and he guided me there.

He looked down at me. He was beautiful, towering over me, tall and lean and powerful. “Unzip me.”

I did.

He smiled. “You want to suck me, don’t you?”

“I do,” I admitted.

“Tell me how much.”

“Very much,” I breathed. “I want you in my mouth.”

“Of course you do,” he said, freeing his erection. His hand tightened in my hair again.

I gasped.

He guided himself into my mouth.

I eased my lips over the head of his penis, letting him slide inside my mouth. He wasn’t only long, he had a lot of girth to his cock, and I had a few moments of panic, unsure of how I was going to accommodate him.

He was urging himself inside, holding my head in place.

I had to take him, had to let him in, and I did.

His cock filled my mouth, bumping against my throat, taking up every available space.

I fought not to gag.

He stroked my cheek. “Good girl,” he soothed. “You can take a little more.”

I didn’t think—

But he was pressing, pushing, and then… suddenly, he had slid deeper, and I’d sort of… swallowed him. I couldn’t make noise. Couldn’t breathe. But if I could have, I would have moaned, because it was explosively good. I felt claimed and filled, and I liked it. There was something pleasant about it, something all-encompassing, and my pussy clenched appreciatively. I was getting even wetter.

He held me by the hair, keeping me there as he began to gently thrust. “Suck me, Shell,” he murmured. “Suck me hard.”

I complied. I applied the suction, and he did the rest.

He gently and thoroughly fucked my mouth, driving his cock deep, making me swallow him, and then pulling out so that I was sucking the tip and I could breathe.

It was slow and intense. Tears sprang to my eyes, and I was so fucking turned on that I could feel moisture escaping from between my legs, making my thighs slick.

I looked up at him as I took him down my throat, and he was gazing down at me.

It was utterly intimate, utterly erotic. I was buoyed up by goodness, by euphoria. I felt as if I was riding the edge of an orgasm.

He stroked my cheek again. “I’m going to come in your mouth,” he said in a soft voice. “And you’re going to swallow it.”

I tried to nod. I wanted that. I wanted all of him. I wanted him to release in me, to give me everything.

“Don’t worry, love,” he whispered. “I won’t be done after that. I’ll make sure to take care of you. After I have your mouth, I want your pussy again.”

My whole body clenched.

He shut his eyes. His breath was labored. “Keep sucking, love. Just like that. Fuck, you look hot like that, on your knees with your tits out, your mouth full of my cock.”

I kept sucking.

“Touch your nipples,” he said in a strained voice.

I did. A flood of pleasure washed over me.

“Pinch them,” he ordered.

I did. I almost tumbled over the brink. I moaned around his flesh.

And he drove himself down my throat, stopping my breath, and pumping into me, jet after jet of it.

Which I swallowed, milking his shaft with my throat, taking everything he would give me.

He pulled out of my mouth and raised me to my feet. He kissed me hard. And then his hands came under my legs as he picked me up. He carried me over to the bed, where he stripped the rest of the red dress from me. I was completely bare beneath it. It had been the only way to have a smooth silhouette.

He liked that. He made a noise of approval, deep in his throat.

He lay me back on the bed and nuzzled my breasts, kissing each of my nipples. His kisses trailed down my stomach, over my belly. He placed a kiss on the top of my mound.

“Oh, shit,” he muttered. “You’re so wet for me.”

I whimpered.

“I bet you want to come,” he said. “Not yet.” He touched my clit with one finger.

It should have sent me over the edge. I was pretty damned sure that I’d never been this aroused in my entire life, and I had nearly come from my own hands on my nipples. And yet, I didn’t, not if he wouldn’t let me.

“Oh, good girl,” he said, with a grin of satisfaction. “You’re very responsive to me. You’ll come when I tell you, not before.”

I groaned, frustrated. I was so turned on that it was almost torture

He kissed my labia. He licked it, kneeling between my legs to apply his tongue to my aching slit.

I thrashed. It felt good. It felt too good. I wanted to come. “Please,” I heaved.

“Shh…” he whispered. “Soon.

He flicked his tongue over my clit.

I clenched, but I didn’t go over the top. I moaned. “Cade, please. Please.”

“You really want to come, don’t you, love?” he crooned.

“Yes,” I breathed. “Yes.”

He tongued my clit again. “Mmm… you’re a little live wire. You have a very pretty pussy, love.”

I grunted. My hips were moving against him, against my volition. I wanted to rip my hair out. I was dying for this.

His mouth was against my clit again. Gently, he sucked my nub into his mouth, rubbing his tongue over it.

I cried out.

He blew on my clit. “Okay, sweet girl. I’m going to do that one more time, and you can let go when you feel it, okay? You can come for me.”

I let out what I can only call growl of relief.

But then he was sucking my clit in again, tonguing it at the same time.

And then I saw the stars. I climaxed, hitting a threshold, the earth shattering to pieces beneath me. And then suddenly, I climbed to another level, a higher level, more intense pleasure. And I climaxed again. And then I climbed higher. And higher.

I bucked and twitched as each threshold brought more intensity. I had never…

“Fuck,” I moaned, my pussy taking me higher still.

He was still licking me.

“Cade, God, Cade.”

And then I hit the highest, the pinnacle, and I rained down like fireworks, falling in streaks of glittering, burning white-hot light back to the bed.

Where I lay, barely able to breathe as the cluster of orgasms slowly left me.

When I could focus again, I realized that Cade was naked and next to me, holding me as I came back to earth.

I looked at him. “That was…”

He kissed me.

His mouth was sweet and soft and good.

His hands skimmed over my body.

“I never felt anything…”

He put my hand on his cock. His voice was raw. “I’m hard for you again. Can you take my cock?”

I gasped. “I…”

He rolled onto me, spreading me out beneath him on my back.

My legs fell open under him. They felt inundated, weakened by the earlier onslaught.

“I need you to take it.” An urgent whisper.

I touched his face.

He kissed me again.

And as his tongue slid into my body, so did his cock.

We rocked against each other, soft and easy at first.

“Fuck, you’re wet,” he whispered.

My eyes snapped open. “Condom,” I said.

“Shit.” He stopped moving. “I never do this.”

I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter.”

He made a deep thrust. “You sure?”

“You don’t care either?”

“You mean do I care if I knock you up?”

Oh, holy fuck. Why did those words send a thrill through me?

He buried his face in my shoulder. “Maybe I want to.” He thrust again.

And another orgasm started to rip through me. I pumped my hips against his. “Fuck me, Cade.”

“Oh, yes,” he muttered.

“Fuck me hard.”

He did.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Cade

The whole room smelled like sex. And for good reason, because we had to have done it at least three times the night before. The last time, we’d awoken after sleeping a bit and reached for each other in the darkness. Both of us were a little sore, so we’d done it slowly and carefully. And I’d come inside her again.

Fuck, how many times had I come inside her?

I looked over at her. It was morning now, late morning. The sun was streaming in through the glass walls, but it wasn’t overly bright because my house was nestled amongst the trees and the shade gave a good amount of cover.

She looked so pretty and sweet and vulnerable in her sleep.

I sat up, rubbing my face.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Sure, when you’re turned on, and drunk on each other’s bodies, it seems really hot to have unprotected sex. Riding the risk of it makes the climax even hotter, even sweeter. I’d never come like that, and I didn’t think I’d had that many orgasms in one night since I was fifteen.

Fuck.

If she got pregnant, she would get rid of it. Because no woman would want to be carrying a killer’s child. And, hell, we didn’t even know each other, and…

But she got rid of it…

Damn it.

I stalked over to the closet and yanked on one of my robes. I went down the steps, leaving her alone. I would do my morning routine, and pretend that none of this happened. Weights. Cardio. Shower.

I’d sweat her away. Wash her away.

And it would be like it never happened.

She might be upstairs in my bed, but it didn’t mean anything.

Soon, she’d be gone, like every other woman who’d ever been in that bed.

Because I knew that I would always be alone.

Always.

* * *

Shell

I woke up alone in his bed. My entire body felt pleasantly sore, and muscles that I hadn’t used much until last night ached a little. But it was delicious. I rolled over in the bed and pulled the covers up around myself and shut my eyes, just remembering him. Remembering every second of our time together, all the times we’d made love.

Hands down, he was the best lover I’d ever had.

And I was… Oh, holy hell, I was falling for him in spite of everything. I didn’t know how to stop myself. There couldn’t be a future in this…

But I thought of the way he’d said that he wanted to get me pregnant, and it made me feel fluttery inside.

Not that I wanted to get pregnant or anything. I mean, I did eventually. I had always figured that I would in a couple of years. I didn’t want to be a really old mom, so I wanted to have at least one kid before I turned thirty. So, it wouldn’t be awful if I—

Oh, what was I thinking?

I sat up, swinging my legs over the side of the bed. There was no way that I could have a baby with Cade. He was a dangerous man, and I had watched him whistle while he dumped a body off a bridge last night.

And yet… the last time that we’d made love last night had been so tender and slow. I couldn’t see how a man who was as bad as Cade claimed to be could be so gentle with me.

I buried my face in my hands.

And then I got out of the bed, and abruptly started giggling at the sensation of his semen spilling out of my body. Holy fuck, I was like full of his come.

I giggled some more. It was funny, and a little gross, but also… nice. Like, I felt very claimed. He left himself inside me, and now I belonged to him.

I sighed.

I really was falling for him.

“Bad Shell,” I whispered to myself. “Bad Shell, don’t fall for him.”

“Shell?” called Cade’s voice from down the steps.

“Yeah?” I said.

“There’s a robe in the closet you can wear.”

Oh, that was good, because I was totally naked, and the only clothes I had up here was my dress from last night. Not the kind of thing that I wanted to put back on again in the morning. I padded across the bedroom to open up his closet.

Jesus Christ. His closet was the size of my bedroom. It took me a moment to spy the robe amongst all his clothes—suits and shirts and jeans and shoes. Just a sea of stuff, all folded and carefully put in its place.

I winced, thinking of my apartment. He probably thought I was a slob.

Then I saw the robe. It was black silk, and it was too small to belong to him. It was a woman’s robe. I pulled it on. Well, so, he had a woman’s robe in his house. It wasn’t like I thought he was a monk. Judging from the cleanliness of his place, he had obviously laundered it since the last woman had been in it.

Still…

I shrugged it on, but I felt a little tug at my heart. I didn’t want to be just another one of his women. He was special to me, and I wanted to be special to him.

I sagged against the closet door. I had it bad already. This wasn’t going to turn out well. This was going to end with me getting my heart broken. But since I was already in so deep, I guessed there was no point in trying to stop it.

I headed down the stairs.

He was standing in the kitchen, wearing a tank top and sweat pants. The tank top was plastered to his body with sweat, and there was a towel around his neck. “Hey,” he said. “I just got back from a run. There’s fruit.” He gestured to a bowl on the counter. “I usually don’t eat very heavy in the mornings, but if you’re hungry...”

“Fruit’s fine,” I said, grabbing a banana.

He grinned at me. “You look…”

My hand went to my hair, and I felt myself flush. I hadn’t even looked in the mirror. I probably looked terrible.

“Adorable,” he finished. He kissed me on the forehead.

I looked up at him, feeling shy.

He caressed my cheek. Then he pulled away, abruptly. “Sorry. I’m disgusting and sweaty. You probably don’t want me near you.”

“No,” I said, reaching for him. “It’s fine. I don’t mind your sweat.” I liked the smell of him, if I was honest. It was musty and primal.

He grinned again. “Okay.”

I grinned too.

He shifted on his feet. “I was going to get in the shower.”

“Shower, yeah,” I said. A shower sounded amazing.

His grin turned wicked. “You want to join me, love? Finish your banana.”

* * *

Shell

Cade’s shower was made of sleek black stone. It had one of those huge circular shower heads that cascaded straight down overhead. The first thing he did once he got under the water was to brush his teeth. He said he always brushed his teeth in the shower, because it saved time.

“I have guest toothbrushes,” he said.

There were four of them in the cabinet just outside the shower. They were in their packages, never opened. I selected a blue one, and then I brushed my teeth and watched him from behind, checking out his ass, which was about as perfect an ass as they come, if you asked me. But I was starting to become biased when it came to Cade, I had to admit it.

After we brushed our teeth, he put down his toothbrush and came for me.

He pressed me into the wall and put his lips on mine, his tongue in my mouth.

I clung to him. Our bodies were wet and slippery, and I felt myself begin to wake up.

His fingers explored me, cupping my breasts, darting between my legs.

I touched him too, finding him hard and thick in my hand, and I rubbed his erection.

He pushed me into the wall face first, told me to spread my legs in a rough voice.

I was already wet for him, or maybe I was still just so slick from all the times he’d come in me already. Thinking of that, though, froze me.

He must have felt me stiffen. “What?” he whispered.

I turned to look at him. “Were you going to…”

He raised his eyebrows.

I gulped. “Were you going to fuck me?” Why was it so hard to say that out loud if we weren’t already in the throes of passion?

“The thought had crossed my mind. I guess you don’t want that?”

“No, I do, it’s only that we keep… without protection, and last night you said… And I said… And we…” I turned back to the wall. I was blushing again. I really didn’t know how to talk about that.

I felt him settle against me with a sigh. He nuzzled my neck. “We weren’t thinking clearly,” he muttered.

“No,” I said.

“It’s hard to think clearly when you’re naked.” There was a touch of amusement in his voice. “You make me crazy.”

I turned in his arms. I liked hearing that. I liked that he was affected by me as well.

He kissed me.

I wrapped my arms around him. I ran my hands over his slippery, firm back, down to cup his backside.

He gazed at me with half-lidded eyes. “I thought you wanted us to stop.”

“I never said that,” I said. “I just thought… but I guess it doesn’t matter.”

“No?”

“I mean, you’ve already come inside me so many times that the damage is probably done.”

He groaned. His hands smoothed over my hips.

I kissed his chin. “I like it when you come inside me,” I said in a throaty voice. “I like being filled with you, feeling what you leave behind.”

His fingers dug into my skin. He lifted me, bracing me against the wall, wrapping my legs around his body. And he guided me down onto his erection.

I moaned. I was still sensitive there from what we’d done the night before. I began to clench against his cock right away.

“Uh uh, love,” he whispered. “Wait until I tell you.”

I sighed, seeking his lips.

He kissed me and began to thrust.

Damn, he splintered into me in the sweetest of ways. I tightened my thighs around him.

He touched my nipples with one hand, made them stiff even in the steamy shower.

And every time his cock drove into me, it teased the very center of me, waking up my pleasure.

He stroked into me over and over while I heaved and moaned against him.

I clutched his ass, urging him deeper inside me.

He pressed his palm against my stomach and wedged his fingers between our bodies until he found my clit.

I cried out.

“Ready to come for me, love?” he murmured in my ear.

“Yes, yes,” I said, tensing for it, wanting it.

“Ask me nicely.” He rubbed my clit with one finger, sending thrills through me.

“Please,” I whispered. “Please, let me come, Cade.”

“Call me Ripper.” He was fierce.

“Ripper,” I agreed, breathless. “Make me come, Ripper, please.”

His fingers were frenzied against my sex, and he pounded into me, out of control. “Come,” he ordered, his voice harsh and dark. “Come now.”

I obeyed, the orgasm flowing through me as he came as well, exploding inside me, filling me up. Oh, God, I really was going to get pregnant, wasn’t I?

And the thought made my pleasure multiply, my climax going for another level of pleasure, and I twitched and bucked and flailed in his arms, lost in delight.

* * *

Cade

I was surprised at how much I liked having her there.

Maybe it was only that she took such delight in all the aspects of my house that I never bothered to use much. I had a big entertainment center in the living room, complete with an enormous screen and booming speakers and chairs that tilted back so that you had a perfect view. But I tended to just watch TV in my bedroom, sprawled out on my bed, so I never came in here.

However, once she saw it, she was just so intrigued by it that we had to watch movies in there, and that was how we spent the afternoon.

For dinner, I made pizza—the whole nine yards, crust from scratch and everything. I cooked for myself all the time, but it was usually just easy stuff. Maybe I steamed some veggies and sauteed a little chicken and had it with rice. It never seemed worth it to go to such effort.

But it was fun to cook for Shell. She even tried to help, but she was essentially hopeless in the kitchen, I was realizing.

I teased her about it, and she admitted that she didn’t do much cooking at home. Mostly, she heated up frozen meals. She said she could make spaghetti.

“Who can’t make spaghetti?” I said. “Besides, the carbs.”

“Oh, whatever,” she said. “In Italy, people aren’t fat. It’s all about portion size.”

I grinned at her. “You seem to have it figured out.”

She blushed. “Me? I’m not anywhere near as fit as you are.”

“You’re perfect.” I kissed her on the nose.

After dinner, we ended up in my hot tub, because I never used it, and I’d had it specially made when I designed the house. We sipped wine out of these fluted glasses that I bought but never used and relaxed naked, the jets of hot water hugging our bodies.

“Your house is awesome,” she said, resting her head back, submerged in the water up to her chin. “I don’t understand how you ever leave.”

“Well, I don’t use this stuff that much.” I took a drink of wine, peering out into the dark woods, the night sky overhead, full of stars. It was beautiful out here. “I mean, usually I just crash here. I exercise. Sometimes I play games online.”

“Why don’t you use it?”

“Because…” I laughed a little. “I guess it’s only fun to share this stuff with someone. When I designed this house, I didn’t think about how much less exciting a hot tub is when you’re alone.”

She was quiet.

Had I said something wrong? Maybe I shouldn’t have admitted that I enjoyed her company so much. I didn’t know what the hell was going on with us. I mean, we were having really hot sex, and I was glad about that, but… I didn’t even know if I wanted anything more. I didn’t allow myself to think about things like that. It wasn’t something that I could really have.

“But you do bring people here,” she said. “You bring women here. You have the robe and the toothbrushes and the lady at Nordstrom said you had a woman you bought dresses for like ten times.”

I turned to her, grinning from ear to ear. “You’re jealous,” I said, really happy about that for some reason.

She splashed me. “I am not. I’m just pointing out that it’s not as if you’re here all alone all the time.”

My smile faded. Actually, I was alone most of the time. “I don’t really bring people here that often.”

“But you do bring people here. Women.”

“You don’t need to be jealous.” I gulped at my wine.

“I’m not jealous.” And now, her voice was sharp. “Someone like you doesn’t have any problem getting women to fall into bed with him. I bet you just walk into a bar and buy girls drinks and order them to have orgasms, and they just fall to pieces for you, practically ripping their clothes off. I know, because I know what you do to me. Don’t act as if it’s so sad for you. I see through you. You don’t need to garner my sympathy or whatever. It’s unnecessary. I’m already totally at your mercy. You can do whatever you want with me.”

I sat up straight. “Whatever I want?”

She sighed. “Never mind.”

I refilled my wine glass and sipped it thoughtfully. “Look, sometimes I do go out and pick up women. I’m not going to lie. It’s not as if I was sitting around saving myself for you.”

“I never said anything to make—”

“But I almost never bring them here,” I said. “And I don’t have sex with them more than once, and I certainly don’t…” I shook my head. “I don’t know what it is about you, but I haven’t been in control of myself since the minute I touched you.”

She swallowed.

“As for the girl that I bought dresses for, she was… Her name was Angie. We dated for maybe six months. But she didn’t know about me. Didn’t know how I made my money. I was vague. Said things about an office. She made assumptions. Anyway, I liked her. She seemed to like me. And, utterly accidentally, she got pregnant. Before you ask, we were careful. It was nothing like what keeps happening between you and me. I swear to you that I’m generally more responsible than that. Anyway, I thought that if she and I were going to have a child together, she should know the truth, and so I told her how I made my money. She couldn’t handle it.”

“Oh my God,” Shell breathed. “You killed her, didn’t you? And now you’re going to kill me.”

“No!” I glared at her. “Do you really think I would do something like that?”

“Well, she knew you were a contract killer, and she knew where you lived. She could have gone to the police, turned you in—”

“She didn’t know anything,” I said. “She didn’t know who I killed or where, and there’s no evidence at any crime scene linking me to it, so even if she did turn me in… Besides, half the time, I work for the U.S. government, and there’s a layer of protection in that.”

“Oh, right, you did say that.”

“I would never hurt you.” It was important that she know that. “Never. It’s not like that. What I do.”

“What’s it like then?” Her voice was soft. “You like doing it.”

“It’s like…” I sighed. “The way I figure it, there’s got to be a reason that I was born this way. That I was given this desire, this skill. I think that back in prehistoric times, when we traveled in tribes, having someone bloodthirsty like me was helpful to the survival of the group. But we don’t have tribes anymore. We don’t have those kinds of threats. I guess I figured that I could give in to my selfish desires, kill for myself, or I could try to use what I’ve been given to take out threats to society. Even if I don’t have a specific tribe, I try to stop bad people from killing anyone else.”

She was quiet.

“I guess maybe that’s bullshit justification.” I drank more wine.

“No,” she whispered. “I’ve given in to my selfish desires before. I’ve hurt people. Not killed anyone, but… there’s darkness in me too.”

“No, you don’t have to do that,” I said. “You don’t have to try to make us the same. We’re not. I know that I’m not… I know that there’s something wrong with me.”

And then we were both quiet.

Finally, she came through the dark, warm water and got the wine bottle. She poured herself more wine. “So, what happened to Angie, then?”

“She had an abortion,” I said. “She left. She said that she didn’t want something half-monster growing inside her. I didn’t blame her for that.”

Shell furrowed her brow. “That’s a horrible thing to say.”

I shrugged. “It’s what she felt. It was her body. I couldn’t force her to have a baby she didn’t want, could I?”

Shell came closer to me, floating next to me in the water. She ran her knuckles over my jaw. “You’re not a monster.”

I touched her bottom lip. “Aren’t I?”

In the distance, the crickets chirped and the breeze whistled through the trees.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Cade

I woke up with my body wrapped around Shell’s. The two of us were naked and spooning in my bed. There hadn’t been anymore sex after the hot tub last night, but we’d fallen into bed together, and we’d held each other in the night, which was even more confusing.

But I couldn’t think about that because my phone was ringing.

That was what had woken me up.

Shell stirred next to me. “What’s going on?”

I rolled over and snagged my phone from the bedside table. I answered it. “What?”

“Ripper, this is De Luca,” said a heavily accented Italian voice on the other end. “I got something for you.”

I sat up. “Thing is, I’m sort of not really in a place to be taking on new business right now. Sorry about that.”

“What?” De Luca did not sound happy. “You said that any time I needed you, you’d be there. You said that it was a pleasure doing business with me.”

“And it is,” I said. “But right now…” I looked down at Shell, who was squinting at me. I didn’t want to talk about this in front of her. Pushing aside the covers, I got out of bed and wandered over to the door that led out onto the porch that wrapped around my house. Stepping outside, I shut myself out. “I’m just unusually busy at the moment.”

“Should I up my standing offer? This your way of shaking me down for more cash?”

“No,” I said. I was naked outside, and I had to admit I liked the way the breeze felt on my balls. I should come outside naked more often. “I’m busy, that’s all.”

“This is an easy job. I’ll tell you where the guy’s going to be. You just walk in, get it done, leave. You don’t even need to be fancy about it. Everyone will suspect it’s an internal job.”

“Why isn’t it an internal job?” I said. “Surely you got guys who could deal with this.”

“Not someone in my family I’m talking about.”

“Who then?”

“Rafael Gallo.”

“Gallo?” I whistled low under my breath. “That’s not an easy job, De Luca.” Rafael Gallo was the head of the Gallo crime family.

“He’s losing popularity right now. Got deals going with the Irish,” said De Luca. “We want to do this, now is the time. It’ll look like someone in the Gallo family was upset. No one fingers us. And I can’t use my own guys for this. They could get recognized.”

“I’m just saying, the guy doesn’t go anywhere without about five bodyguards.”

“Not when he goes to the pizzeria his nephew owns, which he does every Monday.”

“That’s today.”

“Right. So, today, you do this job for me.”

“Jesus Christ, how about a little notice, De Luca?”

“You’re gonna do it, aren’t you?”

“No,” I said.

But ten minutes later, I’d negotiated an outrageous amount of money out of him, and I came back into the bedroom and went into my closet.

“Who was on the phone?” said Shell from the bed.

I pulled on a pair of sweats and a tank top. “No one,” I said. “Just…” I ducked back out of the closet. “Look, later today, I’m going to have to leave for a little while. You can stay here. It’ll be no big deal.”

“Stay here?” She shot straight up on the bed. “Oh, no, I don’t fucking think so. You leave me alone, I’m going to get killed. Ice will show up.”

“Ice would never come to my home. He knows that’s out of bounds.”

“Wait, you mean he knows where you live?”

“Kind of,” I said, grimacing.

“Kind of? Has he been here?”

“Only a couple times.”

“I’m not staying here alone. I’m coming with you.”

“No way,” I said. I started down the steps. “I’m going for a run.”

* * *

Shell

I seized the robe and ran after him. “Oh, no, you don’t. You’re not going on a run. He’ll kill me while you’re gone.”

“Don’t be paranoid. He won’t come here. It’s out of bounds.”

I ran down the steps. “I don’t trust him. I don’t think you should either.”

He headed for the front door. “I always go for a run.”

I hurled myself after him, and leaped, wedging myself between him and the door. “Don’t leave me.” I looked up at him, my heart pounding. I still remembered what it had been like to be dragged up the hallway in my apartment by Ice. I knew that if Cade hadn’t been there, I wouldn’t have survived.

He sighed. “I have to go on a run. I have to get cardio.”

“Skip a day.” I glared at him.

He shook his head. “You run with me.”

I made a face. “I don’t really… run.” I did jog. At a very slow pace. Three days a week. I didn’t really like exercise so much as simply do it because you were supposed to.

“So, you’re worried about being killed, you’ll keep up.”

I folded my arms over my chest. “I didn’t bring a sports bra.”

He grinned. “Even better, love.”

“Cade.”

He was still grinning. “I’ll wait five minutes, and then I’m going on a run. If you’re coming along, you better get ready.”

I could have punched him. Instead, I ran to find my clothes. I did have a t-shirt and shorts that I could exercise in. I had brought them just in case. I shrugged into them and a pair of tennis shoes that weren’t really meant for exercise, but would have to do. Then I hurried back to find him waiting for me.

He looked me up and down. “Cute.”

I tugged my hair into a ponytail. “Can’t we just stay here?”

He opened the door.

Obviously not.

“You’ve got to take me on the job with you too,” I said.

“I can’t do that.” He started running.

I ran after him. Jesus, he was fast. “I could be your associate. I could help you out.”

“No, you couldn’t,” he threw over his shoulder.

I pumped my legs, trying to catch up. “I swear you can’t leave me here.”

He slowed his pace, fell into step with me. “You don’t know anything about it, and I don’t want you to.”

“Give me a gun,” I said. “It can’t be that hard. Point and shoot.”

He glanced at me sidelong. “You’re joking, right?”

“No.” I was starting to get out of breath. “You just don’t want me to hold your gun, do you?”

He chuckled. “You want to hold my gun?”

* * *

Shell

Cade’s firm, bare body pressed against me from behind. We were fresh from the shower, both of us naked on the porch outside his bedroom. I was holding a pistol, and his hands were on my hands.

“You’ve got to hold it steady,” he whispered in my ear.

“It’s heavy,” I said softly. “I didn’t know it would be so heavy.” The gun felt cold and smooth in my hands. I liked the power of it.

He pointed. “That tree trunk out there.”

“The one with the target painted on it?”

“That’s the one.”

“You want me to try to shoot it?”

“Yep, that’s the general idea.”

I squinted, trying to line up the barrel of the gun with the target. Then I squeezed both my eyes shut and shot.

The sound was loud, echoing through the surrounding forest.

Cade laughed.

I opened my eyes. “Did I hit it?”

“First of all,” he said, his fingers resting on my bare hips, “you need to keep your eyes open when you shoot the gun.”

“Oh,” I said. I guess that made sense.

“Both of your eyes.” His fingers traveled higher, skimming my ribs. “Try again.”

I looked out at the target. “I don’t understand. How am I supposed to aim?”

“Point the gun in the direction you want to shoot it.”

“I am, but…” I pulled the trigger again.

My bullet hit the tree, but way above the target.

“Better,” he said. He cupped my breasts and ran his thumbs over my nipples.

I sighed at the sensation, leaning into him. “I don’t understand,” I breathed. “Why did I do better that time?”

“It’s all subconscious, love.” He squeezed my breasts. “If you look at something, you aim for it. It’s kind of like Yoda. Try not. Do.”

I giggled. “Next you’ll be telling me to use the Force.”

“Kind of,” he said. “You can’t move things with your mind or anything, but you need to believe that you’re going to hit the target when you look at it. You need to focus all of your essence on what you’re doing, just look at where the shot’s going to go, and then… do it. Shoot it.”

I turned to look at him. “You’re getting all hinky on me.”

“Hinky?” He chuckled again, and his hands roamed over my body, exploring my curves. “What’s that even mean?”

“Oh, don’t you say that in England?” I laughed.

“I told you, I’m as American as you are. I grew up here.”

I turned. “You didn’t tell me that.”

“Didn’t I? I lived with my aunt after my mother died, until I was about ten. My father was kind of a wreck after it happened, but he got himself together eventually and sent for me. We lived in Connecticut.”

“I didn’t know your mother died.”

He shrugged. “It was a long time ago. You going to try to hit that target again?”

I turned to it. “It’s not going to work, just focusing on being able to do it, believing I can or whatever.”

He moved my hair away from my neck and planted a kiss on the nape of my neck. “Just try it, love. Every time you hit it, you get a reward.”

“A reward? What kind of reward?”

“Mmm… you’ll find out if you ever hit the target.”

I smiled at him. Then I raised the gun, stared at the target and aimed the gun with a purpose, two hands holding it firmly. I was just going to blow that target away. I took a deep breath, and I pulled the trigger.

I hit the target. Wood splintered everywhere.

“Did you see that?” I said.

“I did,” he whispered, pinching both my nipples.

I yipped.

He laughed. “Want more of that?”

“Yes.” I bit my lip.

“Hit the target again.” He grinned at me.

I kissed him.

He pulled back. “Now, now. None of that. You hit the target, you get a reward. That’s how it works.”

Many, many bullets later, I had hit the target more times than I had originally thought I ever could, and my final reward was being lifted onto the railing and speared by his huge, hard cock.

I clung to him and he fucked me hard.

And when I came, urged on by his hoarse commands, I felt as if I was tipping off the edge of a cliff and free-falling, buoyed up by warm currents of pleasure and elation.

* * *

Cade

She was sitting in my lap on the porch, and neither of us were wearing anything. I lazily ran my hands over her body. “I’m thinking we should never get dressed again. Clothes are entirely overrated.”

She giggled, snuggling against me. “It does provide easy access, I have to admit.”

“And I like the view.” I squeezed one of her tits. “I’d like these out on display all the time. I never get tired of looking at them. Touching them.”

She shivered against me. “Stop it,” she said in a breathy voice. “You’re going to get me all excited again.”

“Can’t have that, can we, love?” I said, chuckling. I kissed her neck. “You shouldn’t worry, though. I don’t think my cock has it in him to get moving again. You’ve completely worn me out.”

“Really? You have limits?” She wriggled her bottom against me.

I felt a little stirring in my balls. I groaned. “Okay, okay, let’s not test it, shall we?”

She laughed.

I had come inside her again this last little romp. Twice.

We weren’t even talking about it anymore. I didn’t think either of us wanted to acknowledge what it meant or what we were doing. I knew it was dangerous, that I was tempting fate, and that it wasn’t wise.

Thing was, it wouldn’t be that terrible having her around all the time. Settling down with Shell, always having her company? I could get used to that. And if she was pregnant, that might not be terrible either. I had pictured myself as a dad when I thought that Angie was pregnant, and I kind of liked the idea of a little one running around.

I wanted my life to mean something. I wanted to matter to someone.

But if I was going to do that with Shell, I’d have to do it right, and that would mean giving up killing.

And I wasn’t sure I could do that. I didn’t know what it would do to me if I didn’t have that release. I let out all my darkness when I killed. That left me with nothing but the parts of myself that I wanted to share with the world. I could be happy. I could be something other than a monster.

That was why Shell thought that I wasn’t. Because she saw me with all the darkness emptied out.

But if I stopped killing, what would I become?

“It might get cold at night,” she said.

“What would?”

“Not wearing any clothes,” she said. “And in the winter?”

“Ah,” I said. “I suppose you’re right. We could just crank up the heat, though.”

She turned to look at me, twisting against my body. “How much does it cost to heat this place, anyway? I mean, it’s all glass. Don’t you lose like an insane amount of heat that way?”

“Well, the greenhouse effect sort of helps,” I said. “And it’s a special kind of glass. It’s very good at holding in the heat, and it’s hard to penetrate or break. It won’t shatter if gets hit by a bullet or something.”

Her eyes widened.

“Not that I’m worried about bullets or anything.”

Right at that moment, there was a loud, echoing crack, and the sound of something hitting the glass just beside my head.

We both jumped up.

I turned to see that there was a bullet hole in the glass wall next to us. It had gone clean through, not cracking or anything, just as it was supposed to. The glass worked as advertised.

I shook my head. “I had to go and say that I wasn’t worried about bullets, didn’t I?”

Shell was hugging herself, trying to cover her body. Her voice was a frightened whisper. “Someone’s out here?”

I handed her the robe that was draped over the chair next to us, and I shrugged into mine. “Where’d you leave the gun?” I said in a quiet voice.

She pointed.

“Okay,” I said, “here’s what we’re going to do.”

But then there was another volley of gun fire, bullets raining from above, and I grabbed her, throwing us both to the ground, my body covering hers.

Four men swung down from the trees on cables. They were all dressed in nondescript clothing, hair cut tight against their heads. But from the way they moved, I knew that they were professionals. Someone had hired them.

What the hell?

Who knew about my house?

More importantly, who would want me dead?

Then the fifth man swung down, planting himself directly in front of me, and pointing a gun straight at my head. “Hi there, Cade,” said Ice.

Damn it. I should never have made that comment about how he’d never come here, how it was out of bounds. I was jinxing myself all over the place.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Shell

Cade stood up, pulling me up too.

We were surrounded by men with guns, and all the guns were pointing at us. My heart was racing, and I felt sick to my stomach. This wasn’t how I wanted to die. I wanted to die old and fat, surrounded by my numerous grandchildren, at the age of a hundred and three.

Cade didn’t seem the least bit flustered. “Well, now, I see what this is all about, Ice. You couldn’t figure out any way that you could beat me fairly, so you decided to fight dirty. At my house? You’re really that desperate?”

“This is war,” said Ice. “There is no fair.”

Cade considered this and shrugged. “All right, I suppose you’ve got me there, but honestly, you hired people?” He nodded at the other men with guns. “I think you and I both always knew that I could take you, and it’s very nice to see that you’ve admitted that I’m superior to you in every way.” He grinned.

“Shut up,” said Ice.

Cade was quiet for a few seconds.

Nothing happened. I could hear birds chirping in the distance, and the whole scene suddenly seemed oddly surreal.

“Well?” said Cade. “What are you waiting for? You’ve got me surrounded. Shoot me in the head.”

Ice seethed.

“You know what I think it is you’re waiting for?” said Cade. “You’re waiting for me to figure out a way to get out of this. And, as it happens…” Abruptly, his hand shot out, and he snatched something off the belt of one of the men. It was a knife. He moved quick—almost too quick for me to see, but there was a flash of metal, and Cade cut the cables of the men who’d come down on them. In an instant, he shoved two of them backwards over the porch.

The men tumbled off, both yelling.

“Shoot him!” Ice yelled.

Cade hit the ground. “Shell, the gun!” he screamed at me.

I dove for it. It was lying on a table several feet away.

Bullet sailed over Cade’s head.

He rolled over onto his back, laughing. “Now, that fall isn’t going to kill those two, but I imagine they’ve both got broken bones. Call this off, Ice. You’re no match for me.”

“Get her,” said Ice to one of the men.

My fingertips brushed the gun.

But the man was too fast for me. He grabbed me, yanking me against his body. My robe gaped open, flashing everyone.

Ice leered at me.

Cade wasn’t laughing anymore. “Let her go,” he growled.

“Oh, this girl,” said Ice. “What is it about this girl?” He nodded at the man who held onto me. “Bring her to me.”

Cade got up. He started for me.

The other hired man put his gun into Cade’s chest, stopping him.

“Come on,” said Cade, glaring at Ice. “She’s got nothing to do with this.”

“She’s the key to this,” said Ice, taking me by the arm and wrenching me away from the other man. “I wanted to share her with you, but you wanted to hoard your toys.”

“You wanted to kill her, and since when have you ever shared anything? You don’t even know what sharing means.”

“You know what this is all about?” said Ice, his voice going shrill. “This is all because I didn’t offer those Russian girls to you first, isn’t it? If I’d just called you up and given you a crack at them—”

“You think it’s that?” Cade sneered. “You don’t understand anything, Ice.”

Ice yanked me across the porch. “What’s it about, then?”

I tried to resist, but he was too strong for me, and if I didn’t walk with him, I knew he would drag me.

“Obviously, it’s about the fact that you can’t handle the fact that I don’t want to sit beside you at lunch anymore. And you’re jealous of my girlfriend.”

Wait? What? Girlfriend? My eyes widened.

Cade gave me a lopsided grin.

I tried to get away from Ice again.

“People like us don’t have girlfriends,” said Ice, and he plunged me face first into the hot tub.

Completely submerged in the water, I couldn’t hear or see anything. I thrashed, trying to get up, to get free.

Ice’s hand was like an iron band around the back of my neck, holding me in place.

Okay, I thought, feeling frantic. He’s trying to drown me. But Cade’s going to stop him, and I just need to conserve my energy and wait. I wished that I’d taken a bigger breath before this started. Already, my lungs were starting to scream at me.

The world was a quiet, wet place. I could hear the muffled sounds of voices over top of me.

I couldn’t help it. I thrashed again. I needed to breathe, and it was becoming worse and worse.

I tried to calm myself down. I could survive without oxygen for something like six minutes. Or was it three?

No, it had to be longer than three minutes, because people did that all the time, diving deep and holding their breath.

But still, it hadn’t been anything like six minutes, so I had to be okay, right?

I wanted up.

I tried to struggle, tried to free myself.

I couldn’t.

My lungs hurt now. I was desperate, frantic, even though I kept trying to calm myself down.

Time passed.

I could still hear the voices overhead, but I couldn’t make out what they were saying.

My lungs felt like they were full of hot lava right now, and it burned.

Everything was starting to go dark around the edges. I was fading out, and it was a nice feeling. Peaceful. On the other side of this, there wouldn’t be any pain. It would be sweet and calm and dark and warm, and it sang to me like a siren song.

Take the easy way out, Shell. Give in and rest.

No. I’m not ready, I pleaded with it.

You won’t have to fight anymore. It’s nice here. Let go. Take the water into your lungs.

No! I tried to fight again, to thrash in the water, but I didn’t have any energy. I didn’t know how much longer I could hold it off. I was going to die here, on this deck, and I didn’t know if—

Something pulled me up out of the water.

I gasped, sputtered, and looked around.

Cade picked me up, arms under my legs. He had a gun in one hand. It looked like it belonged to one of the men who’d swung in on the cables. Its cold metal dug into my hip.

I sucked air into my lungs, and it was sweet and good, but it hurt like fuck.

Cade walked with me, and we stepped over the body of one of the men.

“This isn’t over, Cade,” came Ice’s voice from behind us.

Cade swung around, and I saw that Ice was tied to the railing of the porch by one of the cables. His nose was bleeding.

“My house, man,” said Cade in a rasping voice. “Not cool.” He turned back around and we kept walking.

We walked down the steps, out through the kitchen, and to Cade’s car. He set me inside the passenger’s seat.

I shivered.

“Well,” he said, “looks like we have to go into hiding. You sit tight while I get the bags you packed.”

* * *

Shell

We drove without speaking for some time. I was still shivering. I pulled the robe tight around my naked body, but I was sopping wet and badly shaken up.

He was still only wearing a robe too.

The casual sexiness of the early part of the morning now seemed a million miles away. I was terrified. I had nearly died.

Finally, he spoke. “I’m sorry I wasn’t faster getting you out of there.”

“I thought I was going to die,” I said.

“I would never let that happen.” And he sounded so certain, as if he could actually control these sorts of things.

“If I could have gotten to the gun faster…” I sighed. “I was just in the way. I should have gone for it the minute that we heard that shot.”

“You don’t have any experience with this kind of thing,” he said. “You did fine. It was me who should have moved faster. Listen, I know that you probably don’t want anything to do with me now.”

I looked sidelong at him. “But you just saved my life.”

“And you wouldn’t have been in danger if it hadn’t been for me.”

“Don’t put words in my mouth, okay?”

“I think I could find someplace safe for you if you want me to. I would do what I needed to in order to take care of Ice, and I’d let you know when it was safe.”

“You’ll kill Ice?”

He hesitated.

“You’re not going to kill him? Jesus, Cade, of all the people not to kill. He fits your code, doesn’t he?”

“He was my friend. It’s complicated.”

“If you aren’t going to kill him, I’ll never be safe, no matter what. He’s going to keep coming.” I shuddered. “And I’d rather be with you than on my own. I’d be safer with you.”

He didn’t say anything.

“Unless… you don’t want me around,” I said. “Because I slow you down.”

“It’s not about slowing me down,” he said. “But if something happened to you, love, I don’t think I could forgive myself.”

“Well, what if something happens to me while you’re gone?”

“Besides,” he said, “I still have that job to do.”

I gaped at him in disbelief. “You’re still going to go off and kill someone for money? After what just happened?” Of course, I guess for him this was just a normal day in the life of a hired hit man. I rubbed my temples. I was getting a headache.

“I know you wanted to come along, but that’s just dumb.”

“I thought you were teaching me to shoot so that I could come along.”

He shook his head. “I’m taking you someplace safe. That’s the end of it. You can’t change my mind, so don’t try.”

* * *

Cade

I strode through the door of a small flower shop downtown.

“Why are we getting flowers?” Shell asked.

“Quiet,” I said. “Act normal.” We walked through aisles of blooms and arrangements, the perfume of roses tickling our nostrils.

At the back of the store, there was a door marked Employees Only. I pushed it open.

We emerged into a small room. One wall was a mirror from floor to ceiling.

I placed my palm against it.

Nothing happened.

Damn it, I was always having trouble finding the spot. I moved my hand a few inches to the right.

A small square of the mirror slid away, revealing a keypad.

An electronic voice said, “Enter code, please.”

I typed it in.

The mirror split in the center, opening to reveal an elevator behind it.

“What the hell?” said Shell.

I pulled her inside with me.

“Where are we?” she said.

“Nowhere,” I said. “You can never tell anyone about this place. I wouldn’t even bring you here if the situation weren’t desperate.”

“I don’t get it,” she said. “This is some serious spy shit.” Her mouth dropped open. “Oh my God. You work for the government. You’re like B613 from Scandal.”

“What?” I said, arching an eyebrow.

“Like, you’re a secret organization of spies and assassins who take care of problems for the federal government. And these are your secret headquarters.”

I coughed. “That’s… ridiculous.”

The elevator hit the bottom floor and the doors slid open allowing us out onto the main floor of our destination. There wasn’t much to see, just a room with ten cubicles, each containing a computer and phone.

“Hi, Ripper!” said a cheerful voice.

I waved to our receptionist, Kiera Quill. She was a hacker we’d recruited straight out of her graduating class from MIT. She’d only been nineteen at the time. Her job was more than just to receive calls and greet people, but since she couldn’t tell anyone what her job really was, we jokingly referred to her as the receptionist.

“Kiera, this is Shell,” I said. “Shell, Kiera. She’s our receptionist.”

“Oh, sure she is.” Shell folded her arms over her chest. “Because you have so many people just wandering down from the flower shop, randomly guessing whatever secret code that you had to put in to get down here. She has to receive gazillions of visitors, I bet.”

Kiera laughed. “It’s kind of a joke title. I’m really the mascot.”

“Can you hang out with Shell for a few minutes?” I said. “I’ve got some stuff to take care of.”

Kiera shrugged. “Sure.”

“You’re leaving me?” said Shell.

“For like ten minutes,” I said. “I’ll be in the building.”

“Why can’t I come with you?”

“Stay here.” I started walking away so that she couldn’t argue.

“Cade, seriously?” she called.

I darted back over to her, cringing. I shook my head.

Her mouth made a little O.

Kiera smirked. “Your name is Cade?”

“No,” said Shell, looking at her feet. “I just… call him that, because I like the name, and—”

“Forget it,” I said to Shell. I pointed at Kiera. “You keep your mouth shut, okay?”

“I don’t see what the big deal is,” she said. “You know my name.”

“Yes, but I haven’t hacked into the security systems for dozens of people that you’ve killed.”

She shrugged.

I rubbed my forehead. “Okay, Shell. Stay here. I’ll be back.” I walked off again. This time, she didn’t call after me.

I walked through the room, looking inside cubicles until I found someone. “Danger,” I said, pulling a chair up next to the desk he was sitting at. That was his handle. I didn’t actually know his real name. Safer that way.

He raised his eyebrows at me. “Ripper. What are you doing here?”

I didn’t come in that much. This place was kind of my baby. I’d built it from the ground up. Back when I’d first been getting it on its feet, I’d been around a lot. I’d personally overseen every single hitman I added to the roster, made sure he was a good fit. But all that hands-on work had meant that I hadn’t had time to take many jobs, and I’d started getting stir crazy.

I remembered one night, after not having killed for over three weeks, sitting in a bar downtown, looking at the legs of single women and thinking about cutting them.

The next day, I’d made a plan to get myself back into the business and out of the admin side. Nowadays, I wasn’t around much.

“I have a favor?”

He furrowed his brow. “Favor doing what?”

“Uh, sort of… bodyguard stuff.”

He turned back to his computer. “Forget it.”

“Seriously? You don’t even know what I’m asking.”

“I’m not a bodyguard.”

“I’ll pay you.”

“No.”

I stood up. “What are you doing in here, anyway?”

“Nothing,” he said, giving me a funny look. “You know, Kiera’s always here and sometimes she’s alone, and… nothing.”

I nodded slowly. “Okay.” I jammed my hands in my pockets. “You sure that I can’t interest you in—”

“I’m busy,” he said.

“Right,” I said.

* * *

Shell

“So, how do you know Ripper?” asked Kiera.

“Uh, we met when he took me hostage,” I said.

She laughed. “You’re a lot prettier than the last girl he brought here.”

I turned to her sharply. “Last girl?”

“Yeah,” she said. “And older too, now that I think about it.” She cocked her head.

“Older?” I was in my mid-twenties for fuck’s sake. How old could this other person have possibly been? And he’d made all that noise about how I could never tell anyone where this place was and all of that. I was suddenly livid. But I didn’t want to let it show, so I took a deep breath, and made my tone casual. “So, he brings girls here a lot?”

“Not a lot,” said Kiera. “But you’re not the first person I’ve entertained while he ran off to take care of something.”

I pressed my lips together.

“So, after he took you hostage, then what?”

“Well… I don’t know. I guess he just charmed me somehow. Also, there’s a psychopath trying to kill me.”

“A psychopath? Wow. That’s new.” She inspected her fingernails, which were painted bright blue. “Why you?”

“Oh, I don’t know. He’s got some beef with Ripper, and I’m caught in the middle. His name’s Ice.”

Kiera’s expression froze.

“You know him?”

“He used to work here,” she said. “I have to say I wasn’t sorry to see him go.”

“He worked here?”

“Well, I mean as much as anyone works here,” she said. “Ripper set this place up to be a very loose association of independent contractors. But they share resources, and there’s an insurance plan—”

“An insurance plan?”

“Well, I mean, on paper we don’t specify exactly what the contractors are contracted to do.” She grinned. “But yeah, Ice was a real piece of work. And sometimes I’d get the impression that he was undressing me with his eyes.” She shook her head. “No, not undressing me. Peeling off my skin.”

I cringed at the image.

“Yeah, pretty much a psychopath.” She nodded.

“I guess that most of the guys who work here are that way, though.” I sighed. “You’re probably used to it.”

She shrugged. “Not necessarily. Jobs I help out with are always strictly bad guys. Ripper’s rules.”

“Right,” I said. “His code.” I leaned closer. “About these other girls—”

“Wait a sec.” She drew back. “Are you and Ripper like… together?”

“I don’t know,” I said.

“I mean, are you involved?”

“It’s complicated,” I muttered.

She shook her head. “Christ on a cracker! For real?”

“I thought you said he brought other girls here.”

“Well, not like that.” She squared her shoulders. “Like one time, he brought this girl who was the daughter of a senator or something, and she’d been in the crossfire of this hit, and she was really upset. She was only like seventeen and—”

“Seventeen!”

“He wasn’t like with her. He was just helping her out. He does that, you know. He helps people. I thought he was helping you.”

“He helps people?” I was confused. “I thought he killed people.”

“That’s how he helps people. That senator’s daughter, she’d been kidnapped. Ripper was hired to get her back. Which he did.”

“Oh,” I said, understanding now. “But killing people, it’s… wrong.”

“It can be,” she said. “But sometimes, it’s necessary.”

I wondered if she was right.

“I can’t believe you’re involved with him, though.” She eyed me. “He’s ruthless. I’ve seen the things he’s done. I wouldn’t want to be on the other side of him in a lover’s quarrel, if you know what I mean.”

“He wouldn’t hurt me,” I said.

She shrugged. She reached into her desk and got out a bag of dried cranberries. She held out the bag to me. “Craisin?”

* * *

Cade

Twenty minutes and three hitmen later, I had come up empty. No one was interested in keeping an eye on Shell for me, not even for big trucks full of money. They were all busy with jobs or pressing research.

I made my way back to Kiera’s desk, where I found her and Shell eating dried cranberries in silence. I guess they hadn’t really hit it off.

“Okay,” I said. “It’s not ideal, but what I want you to do is stay here, love. I’ll be back after I do this hit. You’ll be fine here. No one knows about this place.”

She put her hands on her hips. “Except Ice, because he used to work here.”

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, well, we changed the codes when I fired him.”

“Why did you fire him?” said Kiera. “I’ve always been curious.”

I turned to look at her. “He was on a job for some of the Russians. They wanted someone to take out some Mikailhovs who were smuggling in women. He did the job, but then he took what he called a bonus. Some of the women. And I wasn’t cool with that. We went round and round on it, but I said that anything he set up with the company couldn’t be tainted that way, and he wouldn’t promise to behave, so…” I shrugged.

Shell looked sick. “They were smuggling women? Like sexual slavery, in other words?”

“Yeah, they were poor girls from the Ukraine, most probably,” I said. “They trick them, tell them that they’re going to be taken to some party to meet American men to find a husband, but then they drug them and sell them. I had no problem with killing those men. None at all.”

“But Ice tortured those women,” she said. “And killed them? And you still have a problem with killing him?”

I massaged the bridge of my nose. “I never said I wouldn’t kill him. Can we talk about this later?”

She sighed. “I’m not staying behind. He’ll find me here.”

“If Ice is after her, I don’t want you to leave her here,” said Kiera. “Because I think Ice has fantasized about removing my fingers from my hands, and I don’t want to have to try to fight him off.”

Shell touched my arm. “Let me come with you. I can help. You can give me a gun.”

I groaned. “You cannot come with me.”

“Well,” she said. “I’m not staying here.”

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Shell

“You can’t come in with me,” Cade was saying. We were parked across the street from a pizza place in a seedy neighborhood.

“So, then, what am I going to do?” I said. I had a gun in my hand. He’d given it to me earlier, and I had thought that I’d be helping him out somehow. I envisioned myself as his backup. He and I were Bonnie and Clyde, and we were on our way to destroy anyone who got in our way.

I couldn’t help but think of what Kiera had said, that he helped people. I thought it was true. I thought it was the reason that I had trusted him from the start. He might think that he was a bad guy, but I knew differently. He wasn’t.

“You’ll be the getaway driver,” he said. “You slide over here, and when I come back and get in the car, you take off at top speed.”

“Oh,” I said. I looked at the gear shift of his car. “I kind of don’t know how to drive a standard.”

He laughed. “Okay, well, then I guess that won’t work, love. But you still can’t come in.”

“Why not?” I said.

“Look, if you’re worried about Ice finding us, I won’t be able to stop him if we’re inside anyway. I’ll be a little preoccupied. So, you’d have to take care of him on your own anyway. And that’s what you’ll do. If you see him, you shoot him, just like I showed you.”

I nodded slowly.

“I don’t want you to watch me do this,” he said.

“I can handle it,” she said. “This guy is a bad guy, right? He deserves this?”

“I don’t want you to see it.”

“I saw you dump the body of that other guy,” I said. “The one in the trunk.”

“Just stay in the car, love,” he said. “I’ll be back soon.”

I didn’t argue. Maybe he was right. Maybe it wouldn’t be a good idea for me to follow him in there and watch it happen. And besides, I didn’t really know how I would explain my presence. Maybe I’d get in there and balk at the whole thing, run screaming out and draw attention to us.

When I thought about actually killing someone, I got cold inside.

So, I just nodded, sat back in my seat, and watched him go.

He got out of the car, shut the door, and walked across the street to the pizza place.

I saw him open the door and head inside.

Then, I waited.

At first, I just fiddled with the stations on the radio, bored and trying to find the perfect station to drive away listening to. Classic rock? Hip hop? I was undecided.

But after I had been around the FM band about three times and still come up with nothing, I began to wonder how long it was that this was going to take.

I peered at the pizza store.

There was a Closed sign on the door. I was fairly sure that hadn’t been there before.

Well, I figured, Cade had probably flipped it. He didn’t want people walking in on a dead body.

But now that I was thinking about this, I didn’t understand why he was going to a pizza place to kill someone. Wasn’t a public place a bad place for a hit? Cade did this for a living, so I supposed he knew better than I did, but it just seemed strange to me. It seemed like something like killing someone would be a thing you’d want to do with as few variables as possible. Being in a public place would have lots of variables, lots of things that you couldn’t control.

I bit my lip.

Had he been in there for too long?

Now that I thought about it, he hadn’t told me who the heck he was killing anyway.

But I knew this person wasn’t a good person.

He’d mentioned Russian crime families at the headquarters, and this was an Italian pizza joint, so it probably meant the Italian mafia.

Shit. Those people were tough. They could hold their own.

What if something had happened to Cade? He was all by himself in there, and I didn’t know how long this should be taking, but it was starting to seem like he’d been in there for a long time.

I chewed on my bottom lip, unsure of what to do.

Outside, cars went by on the street, obscuring my view of the pizza place.

I kept staring at it, hoping that when the next car passed, I’d see Cade coming out of the door, jogging towards the car, ready to go.

But he was never there.

I looked at the clock. I wish I’d paid attention to what time it had been when he’d gone in there, but I hadn’t.

So, I resolved that I would give him fifteen more minutes.

I stared at the clock.

It didn’t budge.

This was the longest minute in the history of the universe.

Well, what was I really going to do anyway, if he didn’t come out in fifteen minutes? Was I going to run inside with my gun blazing, shooting everyone in sight?

I couldn’t do that. I’d had one fucking shooting lesson, and I might have only done it well because I wanted Cade to touch me and make me feel good.

Damn it.

He hadn’t laid a finger on me since we left his house, either. Not a kiss. He hadn’t even squeezed my hand.

Not that I should even be thinking about that right now.

But what did that mean? Was he rethinking whatever was between us?

I didn’t even know what was between us.

But I did know that I didn’t want anything to happen to him.

I looked at the clock again. Only two minutes had passed.

But screw it. If something had happened to him, I couldn’t forgive myself if I did nothing.

Decided, I reached over and took the keys out of the ignition. I got out of the car, shutting the door behind me.

Cars passed in front of me, obscuring the pizza place from view.

I waited once more, heart in my throat, hoping he’d come out. But he didn’t. And I started across the street.

When I got to the pizza place, I wasn’t sure what to do. The door was glass, and I peered inside.

All I could see was a counter with a register sitting on it. There was no one there. Behind the counter was the menu. Baked ziti for fifteen bucks.

My stomach growled. We hadn’t really eaten much today. Okay, nothing. Before this, I hadn’t noticed, but I was hungry.

I tried to imagine Cade eating a big plate of carbs and cheese.

Yeah, not likely.

I tried the door to the pizza place.

It was locked.

Figured.

I started to walk around the building, stopping to look inside the windows of the restaurant. But no one was in there. I could see the booths against the wall, and I could see the tables in the middle of the room. One of them had a half-eaten pizza sitting on it, but there was no one eating the pizza.

I walked all the way to the back of the building. Back here, there was a gravel parking lot with four or five cars in it.

There were less windows back here, and the smell of the dumpster permeated the air.

But there was one window near the back door. I crept over to it and peered inside.

Almost immediately, I saw Cade. He was tied to a chair in the middle of the room, and there was a man circling him, talking. I couldn’t quite make out what he was saying, but I was close enough to hear the pitch and rise of his voice. He sounded angry.

There were three other men in the room. One of them had gray hair. He sat opposite Cade, clutching an ornate cane.

The other two men flanked him. They were both wearing black sunglasses.

Cade was in trouble. My instincts had been right. I had to do something. I had to help.

I pulled back from the window. What the hell could I do? There were four men in there, and they all looked pretty tough, even the old guy. I had a gun, and it was loaded with… I looked at it. I didn’t even know how many bullets were in this thing. It wasn’t a revolver or anything, so I couldn’t open up the little spinning thing and check to see how many bullets were there. It had something else.

I thought Cade had called it a magazine.

Yeah, that sounded right. But I still didn’t know how many bullets were in the damned thing. I didn’t even know how to load it. Some shooting lesson that had been.

I messed around with the gun for several minutes, trying to figure out some way to see how many bullets were in the thing. I managed to slide the magazine out of the gun, but that didn’t really help, because all I could verify was that the thing was full of something. Judging from the size of the bullet, I counted how many I thought would fit in there. Twelve? Maybe thirteen?

I jammed the magazine back inside. Why was I bothering with this? I was simply wasting time.

Either I was going in there to help Cade or I wasn’t.

Well, it had to be. Cade didn’t have anyone else. It wasn’t as if I could call the police for help or something. I didn’t know anyone else who could help us out.

I rested my head against the building and tried to psych myself up for it. I could do this. I had to envision myself being successful, blowing all of the men away.

Oh, holy hell!

I was going to shoot people? I didn’t know if I could…

Mobsters, they’re mobsters, I told myself. I didn’t know that for sure, but I did know that they might hurt Cade, and I knew that I couldn’t let that happen. I had to save him.

Taking a deep breath, I tried to steady myself. It didn’t completely work, but it was better than nothing.

I went over to the back door and tried the knob. I was convinced that it was going to be locked for one second, and I didn’t know what I would do. I would have to shoot out the door or something, and that would be loud, and then the mobsters would all come for me, and I wouldn’t stand a chance, and Cade and I would both—

But the door opened.

I stepped inside a dimly lit hallway. The floor was a wide checkered tile, red and white. It was dirty. Above me, a light was yellow and buzzing slightly.

I swallowed.

And then I could hear Cade’s voice. He was only a room away. He didn’t sound the least bit upset about the fact he was tied up.

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous. I was just here for a slice of pizza. I don’t know why it is you think anything otherwise,” he said. “I hear the anchovies are to die for here.”

“We know someone hired you. Who was it? Someone inside the family?” Another voice with an urban Italian accent.

I made my way down the hallway, trying not to make any noise.

“I like anchovies,” Cade continued. “A lot of people don’t, and I will admit that they’re a bit strongly flavored. But I like biting their little heads off. Do you think that makes me a bad person?”

“Who hired you?”

There was a noise, the thud of a fist hitting flesh.

Cade grunted. “Ouch. Now, was that really necessary? You know, there are these monks out there in India or China or something who don’t hurt any life at all? Not even insects. They wouldn’t bite off anchovy heads and they wouldn’t go around tying people up and hitting them.”

“You’re a funny man now, but I’m going to wipe that smile right off your face.”

Cade laughed. “Really? You know, I don’t think those monks would have liked that sort of talk either. Honestly, this is all a big misunderstanding. Maybe I could just get my pizza?”

Another thud.

Another grunt from Cade. “Okay, okay, no anchovies,” he said. “I’ll be happy to order whatever you recommend.”

I had reached the end of the hallway, and there was a doorway on my left. I looked around the edge of it, and saw the same scene I’d seen before.

I quickly darted back before anyone could see me. What now?

“Tell us who hired you,” said the accented voice.

“Stop, Ludo,” said another voice. This one sounded older. I would bet even money it was the guy with the cane. He was probably in charge. “I will speak to him. Alone.”

“But that’s crazy,” said Ludo. “Let me work him over a little more.”

“I, for one, like Rafael’s plan,” spoke up Cade.

The sound of a slap. “You don’t call him by his first name. Show some respect,” said Ludo.

“Oh, sorry,” said Cade. “How about The Hands, then? That’s what they called you back in the day, yeah? On account of the fact that you always killed with your hands. Liked to get up close and personal, didn’t you? Both of your girlfriends turned up strangled too, as an odd coincidence. But their killers are still at large, and I bet that just breaks you up inside. Doesn’t it, Raffy?”

“Shut up,” said Ludo.

“Stop.” And this time the old guy’s voice was sharper. “Everyone leave. I want to talk to him alone.”

A heavy sigh from Ludo. “All right. You’re the boss.”

I panicked. They were leaving. Were they going to come out this way?

I needed someplace to hide.

There was another door across the hallway. I dashed to it and threw it open.

Yuck. It was a very disgusting bathroom that didn’t seem to have been cleaned in years. But I shut the door after myself and waited.

Seconds passed.

Then minutes.

I didn’t hear anyone go by.

Carefully, I pushed open the door. I tiptoed back across the hallway to look back into the room. I could see Cade, who was facing the doorway, but I couldn’t see anyone else. The old man had been sitting facing Cade, meaning I wouldn’t be able to see him from the doorway, unless I came inside a little and turned…

I did it.

Yes, the man was the only man there.

Cade saw me. His eyes widened for a second.

“I’m waiting,” said the voice of the old man.

Cade recovered. “You think you’re just going to give me the evil eye and scare it out of me? See, if I had any say in the matter, I would get out of here. I would definitely leave.” He looked at me when he said those things, giving me the tiniest of head gestures toward the door.

“I think you and I can come to an arrangement,” said the man. “See, I know about you. I know who you are. You’ve made quite a name for yourself, Ripper, and I know you’re a bit of a bleeding heart.”

Cade glared at me.

I wasn’t leaving.

The old man continued. “I won’t try to bribe you, and I won’t try to torture you. But I might make a phone call and have some of my men pick up a friend of yours.”

I took a deep breath. I wasn’t leaving, but I wasn’t sure if I was really brave enough to go after that old man. I had to do it, though, didn’t I? I had to move into the room, aim the gun, pull the trigger, and take the old man down.

“What are you talking about?” Cade gave his full attention to the old man.

“We know where Sable Clarke is,” said the old man.

I willed myself to move. But I didn’t.

Cade strained against the robes that held him, suddenly serious. “You don’t know shit about that. And if you touched her—”

“Maybe I make a call is all I’m saying. Or maybe you tell me what I want to know.”

“If you know where she is, then tell me where she is.” Cade raised his eyebrows.

“I might make a call—”

“You won’t tell me where she is, because you don’t know,” said Cade, settling back in his chair. “You don’t know anything. Sable’s safe, and you’re a liar.”

And that was the moment in which I decided to move. I hurled myself into the room, raising my gun at the same time. I gripped the handle with both hands, steadying it as I sought out the old man.

There. I saw him.

I thought of the target, picturing my bullet hitting home, and I pictured it this time as well. I pulled the trigger, staring right where I wanted the bullet to go.

The gun exploded, kicking back in my hands…

And caught the old man in the gut. He shrieked.

I ran for Cade and began to work at the ropes that held him to the chair.

“I tried to tell you to get out of here,” said Cade, looking furious.

“I’m saving your ass.”

“I don’t need saving,” he said.

“Oh yeah? What were you going to do?”

“I don’t know. I hadn’t worked it out, but I would have figured something out.”

I had him free.

He stood up.

I glared at him. “Well, you’re welcome.”

He darted across the room to a chair, where his stuff was all in a pile. A money clip. A gun. A pocket knife. A tiny spray bottle. (I couldn’t figure what that was for.) He shoved them into his pockets, checked the gun to see if it was loaded, and turned to me. “Get out of here, now.”

Another door on the other side of the room opened and the three men from before came back in, guns blazing.

Bullets ripped into the walls, the floor.

I dove out into the hallway, landing on my stomach.

“I’m really never coming back here,” Cade was yelling over the noise of the gunfire. “I don’t know about the food, but the service leaves a lot to be desired.”

I raised my head and and crawled back to see what was going on in the room.

Cade was on the floor behind some of the chairs, pulling the trigger over and over again.

I couldn’t see the other men.

I wondered if I should go back in and help him.

And then…

It was quiet.

Cade got to his feet, brushing himself off. “Really should pay someone to tidy up in here. I can’t figure how this place passes health inspection. Oh, right. It’s a mafia front.”

There was a groan from the other side of the room.

I got up too, coming back into the room. The other three men were all lying dead on the floor, crowded inside the doorway.

The groan had come from the old man, who was bleeding in his chair.

Cade put his gun to the old man’s head. He pulled the trigger.

The man’s head jerked back. He was still.

Cade looked at me.

I swallowed.

“Give me your gun.”

I handed it to him.

He dug out the spray bottle and sprayed the gun down. Dropped it on the floor. Then he sprayed down his own. Dropped it as well. Went to the chair he’d been tied up in. Sprayed it. Sprayed the ropes. “Bleach water,” he said to me. “Bleach destroys DNA.”

“Oh,” I whispered.

He looked around. “Scene like this, place this dirty, they’re probably going to have trouble finding anything. Anyway, supposedly, this will look like a hit from inside the family.” He shrugged. “Let’s go.”

* * *

Cade

Fuck, she’d shot that guy.

It was all I could think as I drove. I kept gazing at her out of the corner of my eye, unsure of what to say to her.

She was sitting in the passenger’s seat, staring out the window. She wasn’t even looking at me.

She must hate me for putting her in this situation. She must be horrified, guilt-stricken. I wasn’t sure what taking a life would do to a normal person, to someone who wasn’t like me, who didn’t enjoy it. But I thought it would probably be pretty upsetting. I never wanted her to ever have to feel something like that.

I gripped the steering wheel. I needed to think of something to say to her, some way to make her feel better. And then I had to find someplace for her—someplace safe until I could figure out the shit with Ice.

Whatever stupid dream we’d been living in at my house, fucking like bunnies, that was all over now.

She’d never want to lay a finger on me again.

I swallowed. “Uh… how are you?”

She turned to look at me and her expression seemed calm, not tortured and upset. “I’m a little hungry.”

“That’s… that’s it?” I raised my eyebrows.

“Should I be feeling something else?”

I didn’t answer.

She tucked a strand of her hair behind one ear. “I mean, okay, I’m a little annoyed with you because you aren’t at all grateful to me for what I did. I saved your ass, and you’re too arrogant to even admit it.”

“What?” I looked from her to the road.

“I did save your ass. I wish you’d admit it.”

“Uh… yeah, I guess you did, love.” I smiled a little. “And, um, thank you.”

She beamed. “Well, you’re welcome.”

“You aren’t, uh… shooting that man back there didn’t upset you?”

“The guy who strangled his girlfriends and got away with it? Yeah, not so much.”

“Really?” Huh. I had thought that she would be really torn up over it.

“Should I be upset? Because you’re the one who actually killed him, anyway. I just wounded him.”

“That’s true.” I eyed her.

“What?”

I shook my head. “Nothing.”

“You think I should feel guilty or something? Do you feel guilty?”

“Well, no, but I’m not like other people. I mean, there’s something wrong with me and all. They say that people who work on death row, who have to administer the lethal injection and stuff, that they get bothered about it over time, even though they’re executing convicted killers. So, I just thought…” I didn’t know how to finish.

“Well, I mean, I haven’t really thought about it yet. It all happened so fast.”

“No,” I said. “Maybe it’s better if you don’t think about it.”

“Okay.” She shrugged.

We were quiet.

“You said you were hungry?” I said.

“Yeah. Starving.”

“Me too. Let’s hit up a drive-through or something.”

“Drive-through?” She raised her eyebrows. “You eat fast food?”

I laughed.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Cade

When we got back to headquarters, I knew something was wrong the minute we stepped off the elevator. All the lights were off, and we never turned the lights off down here. The place was never closed, because anyone might need its resources at any hour of the night or day.

My body suddenly went on high alert, and I was aware of everything.

I put my hand out to stop Shell from going anywhere.

“What?” she said.

I put my finger to my lips. “Get behind me,” I whispered. I was glad we’d stopped to eat, even if it had been junk. Actually, all the calories were a good thing. I was going to need them for whatever was in store in here.

It had to be Ice. He’d gotten in somehow. Probably, he’d just waited until he’d seen someone he knew, grabbed them, held them at gunpoint, and then forced them to enter the codes for him.

That was it. We needed to move. Damn it. Setting this place up hadn’t been cheap or easy, but it was obviously compromised, and that wasn’t good news for anyone. I’d give orders to have it dismantled, starting tonight.

My foot collided with something in the darkness.

Slowly, I bent down to check what it was. “Fuck,” I muttered. It was a body. One of the best guys in here, too. Blackie. He’d been shot in the head.

Suddenly, I was very glad that I hadn’t left Shell in here with him for protection. It obviously wouldn’t have worked.

And then I had a terrible thought. Kiera.

Her desk was this way…

I hurried over, bringing Shell behind me.

But there was no one there.

“What’s going on?” Shell asked in a soft voice.

I shook my head at her. There was enough light from scattered computer monitors that we could barely make out each other’s features. “It’s got to be Ice.”

She bit down on her lip. “I don’t have a gun anymore.”

“Come on,” I said, pulling her after me. We darted out of the main room and into a hallway. I led us down it, to the main weapons room. Once inside, I flipped on the light switch.

I handed her one of the guns, and then I started back for the door. “I need you to stay here. Lock the door. Don’t open it for anyone except me. You got it?”

“I don’t want you to leave me alone,” she said.

“I don’t know what’s out there,” I said. “I might not be able to protect you. I won’t be gone long.”

She still didn’t look convinced.

“You have a gun,” I said.

She nodded.

I turned to go.

She stopped me. “Wait.”

“Listen, Shell, I know you don’t want to be alone—”

She silenced me by placing her lips on mine.

I was stunned. I couldn’t believe she would kiss me after everything we’d been through that day. It didn’t seem to make any sense. But she was, and her lips were warm, and her body was soft and small. I crushed her against me, loving the way she felt there, wanting to hold her forever.

But eventually, I had to break the kiss.

I pulled back. I planted a small kiss on the tip of her nose, another on her chin, another on her forehead.

“Be careful,” she whispered.

“You too,” I said.

And then I did leave. I only paused to make sure that she locked the door behind her.

I checked the rest of the rooms in the place. There wasn’t much here. The main room, the weapons room, the bathrooms. We had showers down here too, in case you needed to make a fast getaway someplace and wash off the evidence.

I moved through the shower room, pulling aside curtains in each of the four stalls, making sure no one was hiding there.

Nothing.

I found another body, though, outside the bathroom. It was Guns, another of my guys.

But there wasn’t anyone else inside. I went back to the entrance and keyed in a code on the elevator. Then I dialed the number I had for Kiera.

She didn’t answer.

Fuck.

I hoped something hadn’t happened to her. I was going to have her spread the word to everyone that we were compromised here, that the place was under lockdown, and that no one was coming in or going out.

But if she wasn’t answering…

My phone rang.

I picked up. “Yeah.”

“Ripper? Danger.”

“Danger, when did you leave HQ?”

“Guess you’re in there, then? That why you’re calling Kiera?”

“How do you know I’m calling her?”

“We’re together,” said Danger. “I got her out of there. I had a little scuffle with Ice first. Dude’s got very bad blood with you for some reason.”

I sighed. “Yeah, he’s kind of a bastard right now.”

“Anyway, I told Kiera not to pick up the phone in case it was someone else with your phone. Said I’d call you back and make sure.”

“It’s me,” I said. “Was Ice alone?”

“He had Guns with him. Forced him in at gunpoint. I guess he used him to get the code in.”

“I figured he did something like that shit.”

“But yeah, no one else. He started shooting everyone. I tried to take him out, but he got to cover. So, I took Kiera and got the hell out.”

“Damn it.”

“I guess you’re calling because you’re locking the place down?”

“Yeah,” I said. “Kiera can still get the word out, right?”

“Sure, I think so,” said Danger.

“Good. And tell her I’ll be in touch with a new location when we’re back up and running. Until then, lie low.”

“Got it,” said Danger.

And then we both hung up.

I headed back for Shell, who I found huddled in the back of the weapons room, surrounded by guns she’d pulled off the shelf.

I reached down and helped her to her feet. “Hey,” I said. “It’s all right. There’s no one here.”

“It was Ice?” she said.

“Yeah,” I said, “but he’s gone now.”

“So…” She looked around. “What now?”

I pulled her into my arms. “I got to think of a safe place for you.”

“For me?” She looked up at me. “You aren’t still thinking that you want to leave me someplace, are you? Imagine what would have happened if you left me here.”

I felt cold all over. I gripped her tighter. “I just don’t want you exposed to all of this, that’s all. I don’t want you to have to see it.”

She rested her cheek against my chest, wrapping her arms around me. “I’m okay. I’m tough. I’m not going to break.”

“That isn’t totally what I meant.” I kissed the top of her head. “Every time you see me do something violent, I’m afraid you’ll want to run far away from me. How long will it take before you realize that I’m a monster, and that you don’t want anything to do with me?”

“I won’t think that.”

“You should think that.” I released her. “It’s true.” I started out of the weapons room.

She headed after me, catching me by the shoulder. “Cade, you’re not a bad man. Kiera told me that you save people.”

“I kill people.”

“To save other people. You saved me. You saved my sister.”

I dragged a hand over my face. “But I only did that because…” I didn’t finish. I gazed into her eyes. I wasn’t sure why I’d done it, actually. I didn’t know what it was about Shell Birch. I’d been acting crazy and reckless since she came into my life.

“I know that you say that you enjoy killing—”

“I do enjoy it,” I snapped. Then I stalked out of the room. I wasn’t sure where I was headed. I didn’t know where I could take her. Ice knew too much about me. He knew all the places where I might stash someone. And I wasn’t sure if I could trust anyone to look after her.

“Why do you enjoy it?” she called after me.

I stopped and turned to look at her. There was an expanse of hallway between us now. Light from the weapons room spilled out around her, lighting her up as if she was some kind of angel. I was in the dark, a demon. “It just builds up in me,” I said softly. “I have to get it out.”

“But how do you know that?”

“I told you that I grew up with my aunt, right?” I looked down at my shoes. “What I didn’t tell you is that my father sent me there because I was acting up after my mother’s death. I saw her die.”

“Oh my God,” she whispered.

I never talked about this. I’d only ever told one other person. Ice. And look how well that had turned out. I didn’t think it would go over well telling Shell about it. But she had asked, so I plunged onward. “I was five years old,” I said. “She and I were out together running errands. We were at the bank. We happened to be there at the time of a robbery. They grabbed my mother and put a gun to her head and told everyone to stay calm and quiet. And everyone listened. But it didn’t matter, because there was this car horn from outside, something completely unrelated, but the robber heard it, and it startled him, and he pulled the trigger, and…” I shook my head, and suddenly I could see it all again.

My mother’s body, falling lifeless to the ground, her eyes like dead marbles in her skull. My skin, covered with a fine sheen of red dots. Her blood. Sprayed everywhere.

Shell was coming down the hall for me. “Cade, I’m so sorry.” She was stepping out of the circle of light, into the darkness with me.

“Stay there,” I said in a choked voice. “Don’t come near me.”

She stopped, cocking her head to look at me. “Cade, I only want—”

“I hated it, that my mother was dead,” I said. “But I could never stop thinking about it. I would dream about it, every night. Wake up screaming for her. My father would hold me, try to calm me down, but it wasn’t enough. And I started to act out at school. I went after the bullies on the schoolyard. I put a kid in the hospital. I kept smashing his face with a rock. He needed reconstructive surgery.”

“Cade, that doesn’t mean—”

“My father couldn’t handle me. He couldn’t stop me. He sent me to live with my aunt in England, because he… I think he was afraid of me. I think he saw the monster in me when he looked into my eyes.”

Shell took a step toward me, stepping out of the light completely. She reached out her hand.

I shut my eyes.

And then she was next to me, and she was holding me, and we crumpled to the floor together.

She smoothed her hands over my face, cupping it. “That doesn’t make you a monster.”

“You don’t know what it was like,” I said. “You don’t know how it felt on that playground, bringing that rock down over and over on that kid’s head. You don’t know how much I liked it.”

“Shh,” she said, and she kissed me.

Suddenly, I was clinging to her, like she was my only solace in a rainstorm. I put my lips to hers, and my kiss was hard and desperate. It was different than every other time I’d been with her. Some part of me had still been in control then. Certainly, there had been moments in which I’d fallen apart under her touch. From her words or from the feel of her body. But now, I was already falling apart as I kissed her.

And I was desperate for more of her.

I put my hands inside her shirt, skimming her ribs and pushing aside the cups of her bra.

She gasped as I gathered her breasts in to my hands.

I kissed her. I caressed her. Pinched her nipples. Twisted them. “You don’t know what I am at all,” I muttered.

“I do know,” she insisted, and she tugged my shirt over my head. “You’re good and sweet. I know that’s what’s inside you. I can tell.”

“You’re wrong.” I shook my head. I pushed her back into the floor and covered her body with my own.

She ran her fingers over my shoulders.

It made me feel shivery. Vulnerable. I grasped both of her hands to keep her from touching me. I wanted to regain control somehow.

She looked into my eyes. “Cade.”

“Stop,” I said, trying very hard to make my voice cold, but there was a tremor in it, and I couldn’t get rid of it. It angered me, and I grabbed her by the hips and turned her over so that she was on her hands and knees.

She gasped, arching her back, driving her ass back.

Fuck me, she was turned on by this. I shut my eyes for a second, feeling any tethers that I might have on control of myself slip away, and then I was yanking her pants down, baring her ass and her pussy.

I spanked her.

She cried out.

“I’m not good,” I said.

“Neither am I,” she said in a tight voice.

I hit her again. Hard. And I didn’t bother to rub her, to take the sting out. “I’m not playing fucking games, Shell.”

“You don’t know what I did,” she said.

“You didn’t do anything,” I said. “Stop acting like you’re anything other than innocence and light. Fuck, you didn’t even know you’re fiance was gay.”

“Fuck you.” She turned to look at me, and there was hurt in her eyes.

Good. She needed to understand.

I tugged her to her feet. Her pants were around her ankles, and she could barely move, but I forced her back down the hallway, back into the light of the weapons room.

There were some restraints in here. Hand cuffs, chains, things we used.

I picked up a pair of the cuffs and chained her hands behind her back.

She let out a little huff of air, and when I looked at her face, she was wide-eyed.

Good. She shouldn’t trust me, especially not know, when I wasn’t in control. Not at all.

I shoved up her shirt and bra, so that her tits were on display. Now I could see all her secret places, but I hadn’t really removed any of her clothes. I ran a lazy hand over one of her breasts.

Her nipple stiffened in my wake, and she bit down on her lip.

I let my hand travel lower. I traced the outline of her mound with one finger, dipped between the lips of her slit. My voice was sarcastic and dark. “What horrible thing did you do?”

She swallowed.

I laughed at her, and it wasn’t kind. “What? You don’t want to tell me now?”

“I never wanted to tell you. I never wanted to tell anyone. I never have.”

I nudged the nub of her clit.

She moaned.

I pulled my hand away. “Did you like that?”

“Yes,” she whispered.

“You want my hand there again?”

“Yes,” and her voice was even quieter.

“Then tell me,” I said. I liked this even better than touching her. I liked using power over her to force her to do something she didn’t want to do. It was fucked up, but my cock was getting rock hard.

“Cade, it’s not like what you think. I’m not innocence and light.”

I raised both eyebrows. “What did you do? Did you cheat on your SATs? Did you steal your sister’s boyfriend in junior high?”

She flinched.

“What? I’m right?” I threw my head back and laughed, and my fingers snaked between her legs again. I flicked her clit back and forth in a steady rhythm. I lowered my voice. “Oh, Shell, you really are innocent. You don’t understand anything.”

She shied away from my fingers, trying to twist away from me, but she couldn’t move her legs easily, and she was really at my mercy.

I grabbed her by the arm, forced her to stay in place, and I doubled my assault on her clit, lowering my mouth to her nipple.

Her breath started to come in gasps. I could feel her getting wetter and slicker under my touch. But still she struggled, trying to get away from my ministrations. “That’s not what happened,” she said, her voice strained.

“Oh, it’s not?” I said, my mouth still on her breast.

“No,” she heaved.

I raised my head. I stopped my movement on her clit. “Then what did happen? Tell Ripper the truth, and I’ll let you come.”

She glared at me, her face twisting with something like real dislike. “I don’t want to come when I’m thinking about this.”

“Don’t you?” I said. “If you were really like me, you would. If you were really like me, it would make you so hot thinking about all the nasty, evil things you’ve done. It would make you feel big.”

“Instead of small and powerless, like a little boy? Cade, you could never have saved your mother, no matter what you did. And no matter how many people you kill now, you can’t change what happened.”

I slammed her back into a rack of sniper rifles. “That’s not why I do it.”

She winced.

“It’s not because of my mom. Maybe that triggered it, but it was always in me. I was born this way.” I had been born this way, hadn’t I? “You don’t understand me, so don’t act like you have it all figured out.”

“You don’t understand me either.”

“Admit we’re different.” I pinched both of her nipples.

She whimpered. “I didn’t say we were the same.”

I thrust my fingers between her legs again. “Tell me what you did,” I breathed. “And then you come, whether you like it or not.”

She shut her eyes.

“Tell me or I’ll hurt you.”

She opened her eyes and looked at me, and there was something like fear in them now.

I should have backed off, but it spurred me on. It wasn’t enjoyment, not exactly, but it was a sense of triumph. I was close to getting her to do what I wanted, close to making her do what I said, even if she didn’t like it. I had power over her.

“Hurt me how?” Her voice shook.

I considered. Then I put my mouth back to one of her nipples, and I closed my teeth around it. I didn’t bite too hard, just enough pressure to create a quick sting. I ran my tongue over the place I’d bitten her.

She let out a strangled noise, but I heard the pleasure in it.

My cock pulsed.

She groaned. “I thought maybe you’d really hurt me. I deserve it for what I did. But everything you do to me isn’t really pain.”

I bit her other nipple, this time harder.

She moaned. “I don’t want rewarded for it, Cade.”

I lifted my head to look up at her. “Tell me, Shell.” I ran my hands over all of her bare skin, everything that I’d uncovered.

“It’s about my sister,” she said.

I waited.

“But not about her boyfriend. Well… I mean, sort of. When we were in high school, she was so much better than me at everything, and no matter how I tried, I couldn’t do anything right. And she was always so sweet too. That was the worst of it. It would have been easier to handle if she’d been mean and spiteful, but she was the best fucking sister in the world.”

I still waited, my hands resting on her hips.

“I hated her.” Her face twisted. “And I wanted… I don’t know what I wanted. I don’t even know why I did it. She had this video of her and her boyfriend having sex, and I found it, and I… I put it on the Internet.”

I still waited.

She raised her eyebrows.

“Wait, that’s it?” I said. I laughed. “So?”

“So, it ruined her. Now, she’s a fucking prostitute, and she got that way because she lost all confidence after everyone saw the video. Because of me, my sister’s life is—”

“Totally terrible, right,” I said sarcastically. “How much money did you say that prince pays her?”

“Don’t mock this,” she said.

I chuckled. “But it’s just not that big of a deal. It’s nothing like the things I’ve done.” I slid my hands over her hips, and I cupped her sex with one hand. I rubbed the heel of my hand against her clit. “Come for me, Shell. It’s not that big of a deal,” I crooned.

She threw her head back, and she climaxed for me. Not a crazy, crashing one, but I felt it go through her.

“You don’t understand,” she said through clenched teeth as her pelvis jerked. “It’s worse than what you’ve done. Everyone you killed deserved it in some way… but Starling was never anything…” She tried to catch her breath. “Anything but good… and I destroyed her.”

I kissed her. “You didn’t destroy her. There must have been something inside her that wanted—”

“She was a fucking National Merit Scholar,” Shell said, pulling away. “And she didn’t even graduate from college.”

“So, you want to be punished?” I murmured, kissing her earlobe.

“I…” She foundered.

I pulled back and looked into her eyes. Then I seized a handful of her hair and held her head in place. “You want me to hurt you?”

She sucked in breath.

With my other hand, I grabbed her thigh, digging my fingers into her skin. I pulled on her leg, freeing her foot from her pants, and I wrapped her leg around my hips.

She licked her lips.

I tugged on her hair.

She flinched.

“I’m going to fuck you, Shell,” I told her in a quiet voice. I moved my hand from her thigh, unbuttoned my pants, unzipped, and freed my aching cock. I couldn’t wait to be inside her again. It had been too long. “I’m going to fuck you hard. I’m going to fuck all the guilt out of you.”

Tears formed in her eyes. Possibly because I was pulling her hair. Possibly because…

“Could you?” she said in a tiny voice. “Could you really make it go away?”

“Yes,” I said. “You’re mine. You do what I say. You come when I tell you to, you get aroused by whatever I do to you. I can make it go away.”

She swallowed. She shifted her hips.

I felt her slippery sex against my erection. I gasped.

She shifted her hips again, and somehow captured the tip of my cock.

I groaned, unable to resist sliding all the way into her.

“Do it, then,” she breathed. “Make it go away.”

I thrust into her, nice and deep, all the way in as far as I could go. I felt her surround me, hold me in all the right places. I grunted, and I lost it again. Suddenly, I was pounding against her, jamming myself in as deep as I could go, as fast as I could, ramming her tight pussy, throwing everything into it.

She was moaning, and it sounded half like pleasure and half like pain.

And I didn’t care. She felt so good, and I needed this, because it suddenly wasn’t me fucking away her guilt, it was her taking all of my guilt. She was restrained, my hand yanking at her hair, her hands behind her back, my other hand clutching her bare ass, keeping her there as I did what I wanted with her. She couldn’t get away. She was here, and I was giving it all to her, and she wasn’t resisting.

“Ripper,” she moaned. “Yes, Ripper, fuck me.”

I kissed her neck. “Call me Cade,” I said.

“Cade,” she whispered.

“Shell,” I said, my voice raw. I kissed her jaw. Her cheek. I looked at her.

And her eyes were wide open, staring back at me.

We held each other’s gaze.

“I…” I was still going at her like I was dying and this was the last fuck I’d ever have, but everything was building inside me, and it was growing so intense now. I felt like I was getting lost, like there was only my cock and her body, and everything else was falling apart.

And then there were tremors around me, and her tight little pussy was clenching against me, hungrily sucking at my dick.

Her breath was unsteady. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t help it. I know you didn’t tell me—”

I silenced her with a kiss. I didn’t need to control her. I didn’t need… “You feel so good,” I told her. “I like feeling you come around me.” And I wished that her hands weren’t in the cuffs, because I wanted her arms around me.

I settled for kissing her again, losing myself in her sweetness.

And surrendering to her, letting free that last bit of all of it, exploding into her body, loosing all my darkness in her light.

* * *

Cade

Afterward, I took her out of the cuffs and we lay on the floor of the weapons room, just holding each other.

We didn’t talk, not much.

She clung to me, her face in my chest, and I wrapped my arms tight around her and rested my chin on the top of her head.

“The guilt is gone,” she whispered into my skin. “It worked.”

I brushed at her hair. “Of course it did, love. Didn’t I say you were mine?”

“I am, though.” She snuggled closer. “All yours.”

I sighed, kissing the top of her head, and I didn’t say that I was hers too.

I hoped she felt it, felt it in the way that I held her, the way I touched her. But I couldn’t make my lips form the words. I didn’t know how to say them.

So, I said nothing, and we lay there together, just being close.

We lay there a long time.

And then, I got her up, and I led her down the hallway to the showers.

We got into one of the stalls together and let the hot jets of water surround us, pound into us.

I scrubbed her hair, gently massaging the places that I’d pulled at her scalp. I rubbed the soap all over her skin, her curves, making her slippery and enticing.

I couldn’t help but get hard again.

But I took her carefully and gently this time. I held her close, like she was precious, and I took my time sliding in and out of her, savoring each inch of her tight heat.

She seemed suddenly so impossibly small and sweet, this miracle thing in my grasp that I’d somehow managed to be lucky enough to get to be this close to.

She was giving herself to me, and I didn’t really understand why.

But liked it. I adored it.

I adored her.

I knew that I didn’t want her to go anywhere, and I didn’t know how that could possibly work. It terrified me. I couldn’t think about it. So, I just thought about the moment, about her warmth and softness.

I lost myself in her again, buried myself in her over and over again until I couldn’t handle it anymore.

I came under the spray of the water, begging her to come with me and feeling her tighten and contract around me just when I wanted her to, and we climaxed together, joined together, moving together… and it was good. So, so good.

* * *

Shell

I pulled on the last of my clean outfits. I hadn’t really packed enough clothes for this little excursion, but then I hadn’t known just how long it would last. I was outside the showers in the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror and dragged a comb through my hair.

I had shot a man. I had confessed my darkest secret to Cade.

I had been fucked silly, and I had never felt closer to another human being.

And yet, I still felt like I couldn’t talk to him, like I couldn’t really tell him how I felt. I had this nagging feeling at the back of my mind that this was all only temporary, no matter how close I felt to him.

One way or another, Cade was going to take care of Ice, and Ice wasn’t going to be a threat anymore. After that happened, then Cade would take me back to my apartment, and I’d never see him again.

I looked down at my stomach.

But he’d come in me so many times. And he’d said that he wanted to knock me up. We hadn’t spoken about that, not once, but I guessed it had something to do with the fact that Angie person had gotten rid of his baby. Still, he never indicated to me…

How to bring it up?

I didn’t know.

It all seemed awkward and strange.

I glared at myself in the mirror. “Grow up, Shell.” I pointed at myself with the comb. “If you can have sex with that man, you can damned well talk about it.”

Cade’s voice floated in from out of the room. “Did you say something?”

“No,” I said. I bit my lip.

I finished combing my hair and left the bathroom. I’d just bring it up, right now. I’d open my mouth, and I’d talk to him about the fact that we might have made a baby one of the umpteenth times we’d had unprotected sex, and we’d have an adult conversation about it.

But when I saw him, I didn’t say anything.

He smiled at me. “You look nice.”

“My hair is wet. I look like a drowned rat.”

He laughed, one arm going around me. His lips against my temple. “You look freshly fucked and I like it.”

I giggled. “Yes, indeed. Dazed by the use of your cock.”

“My huge cock.”

“Your enormous cock.” I grinned up at him.

He kissed my forehead. “I think you always look hot.” He pulled back and picked up a pistol. “Especially with a gun. I don’t know if I told you, but it’s a good look on you. So, take this one.”

I did. “Thanks.” I turned it over in my hands. “You know, there are things you didn’t really teach me. Like how to load a gun or how to check that it’s loaded. All of that?”

“Yeah, we can do that.” He started down the hallway, away from me.

I hoisted my bag, which was now full of dirty clothes, over my shoulder and went after him. “Are you expecting trouble? We going to need these guns right away?”

“I hope not,” he said.

I caught up with him. Okay. Okay, now, I needed to bring up being pregnant.

But I didn’t.

We walked in silence, and I thought about the idea of a small, tiny little being growing inside my body, and at first it was just a nice thought. I thought of tiny fingers and toes, of cuddling a sweet-smelling little bundle. A baby. My baby.

But I also felt a rush of terror.

I wasn’t sure I even wanted to be pregnant. I mean, how was I supposed to support a baby in my life? I was a waitress—maybe I was still a waitress, because I had no idea when I was going to get back to my job, and they weren’t going to hold it forever—and a comic artist. And my comics were in danger of being behind too. I didn’t know when I was going to get to make another strip, but one was due soon. I didn’t have enough money for a baby. And I certainly didn’t have enough money to hire someone to take care of my baby while I went to work and made more money. And…

But maybe Cade would help?

He had money.

But if he didn’t want the baby—

No, I thought he did, but…

I needed to talk to him about this.

But suddenly, I didn’t even want to think about this. I wanted to pretend that none of it was real. Maybe I was putting the cart before the horse, anyway. Until I had a missed period, there was every chance in the world I wasn’t pregnant. After all, it did take people who were trying months or even over a year sometimes to get pregnant. So there was no reason to think, even with as reckless as we’d been, that we really needed to worry.

So, when I spoke, I didn’t say a word about it. “Where are we going?”

He shot a glance at me. “Well, we can’t stay here. I’m guessing Ice isn’t watching the place, or he would have already made his presence known, but he’ll probably come back. And I have to admit that I wasn’t sure what we were going to do, because I couldn’t think of anywhere that we could go that Ice didn’t know about.”

“You guys were close, huh?”

He nodded. “I told him a lot of things about me. It works both ways, of course. I know things about him too. But it just makes it harder overall.”

We were at the elevator, but he walked past it and opened up a door.

Steps ascended up out of the building.

“Seriously?” I said. “Can’t we take the elevator?”

“No, I locked it down,” he said. “And once we get up these steps, they’re going too.”

“I don’t understand,” I said.

“I’ll show you. Come with me.” He climbed up the first level of steps.

I followed him.

At that level, he opened a metal box on the wall and typed into a keypad.

Abruptly, the stairs below us began to fold into themselves, flattening, like bleachers in a gymnasium.

“No one gets in after we leave,” he said.

I felt a little nervous, knowing that there was no way back down. What if we fell? Dizziness overtook me, and I grabbed Cade’s arm.

He put an arm around my shoulders. “Hey,” he whispered, “I… I think we should stick together.”

“Of course,” I said. “Was there a question of that?”

“I just…” He looked up at the unfolded stairs above us. “I thought maybe it would be better for you if you were away from me. Because I’m not good for you.”

“Cade—”

“But I don’t want to let you go.” He squeezed me tighter. “So, I’m sorry if you want to get away from me—”

“You know I don’t.” I touched his face.

He grabbed my fingers and kissed them. “I still think maybe you should.”

“No,” I said. And my heart started to surge, because maybe I had been worrying about nothing. He wanted to be close to me, and maybe this wouldn’t be over after he took care of Ice. Maybe he felt it too, felt like something was growing between us that was bigger than all of the danger we were in.

But he let go of me. “It’s just until I can fix this situation with Ice, anyway. I’ll make sure that it’s safe for you to go back home.”

And it was hard to breathe. I felt cold and alone. I wanted to reach for him. I shoved my hands in my pockets instead. “Right,” I said softly.

He started back up the steps. “Anyway, about where we’re going. I didn’t know what we were going to do, but then I remembered Sable, and it was because of what Gallo said to me.”

“Gallo?”

He looked over his shoulder. “Rafael Gallo. The man that you shot?”

I grimaced. Maybe I did feel a little twinge of something when I thought about that. But I shoved it aside. Dwelling on it would be stupid. I’d saved Cade. That was the important thing. “I didn’t know his name,” I said.

“Oh, well, sorry. I didn’t mean—”

“It’s fine.” I pushed past him on the steps. “I did wonder about that. He was talking about someone named Sable, threatening her. Who is she?” Cade must care about her an awful lot if Gallo could threaten him that way with her.

“She’s an old colleague,” said Cade. “She used to work here, but then she got into a bit of a mess with the Gallo family. A hit went wrong, and she didn’t get the guy she was going after. Instead, he lived, and he identified her, and he started going after her.”

“A female hitman?” I said. No, that didn’t sound right. “A hitwoman?”

Cade laughed. “Yeah, there aren’t a lot of women in this business, but she’s pretty good at what she does. Anyway, she needed to go and lie low for a bit. She’s in a very secure location, so despite what Gallo said, they don’t know where she is. We go there, we’ll be safe too.”

“Oh,” I said. “Well, okay. Are you sure?”

“Positive,” he said, flashing me his lopsided grin. “Would I ever steer you wrong, love?”

* * *

Cade

Sable was in a safe house that I’d set up years ago. I had about five or six of them, scattered around the country. I didn’t like to have to use them, but sometimes they were an inevitability. We were in D.C., and the safe house was not close. It was in Florida, and not in the bloated shorelines which were full of people, but the interior, which was a no-man’s land of marshes and heat and the occasional orange farm.

We could have driven straight through if I’d taken a direct route, but I wanted to do my best to lose anyone who might be following us.

That meant going a meandering way out of the town, following the Beltway towards Baltimore, splitting off on auxiliary routes of various interstates here and there, and getting as turned around as we could, hopefully shaking off any tails we might have.

To be sure, once we got deep into Virginia, we switched cars. I had cars stashed in various places in the country as well.

I agonized over switching the cars. Ice didn’t know the location of the Florida safe house, but he did know the location of the car in Virginia. He knew about one in New York state, one in Kentucky, and one in Texas as well. The one in Virginia was closest to D.C. I worried that maybe, just maybe he was watching it.

But I hadn’t seen any real indication that we were being followed, and I was fairly sure that I’d have some hint of it if Ice were after us.

Anyway, I thought switching cars was a good tactic, so we did it.

We picked up the new car, left the old one there, and continued our trek southward.

Doing all of that meant it simply took too long to make the trip all in one day, so we stopped at a motel on the way. Not a chain, but an old family-owned place along a road, with faded yellow curtains and a sign that proclaimed they had Sh wtime.

We ate a dinner from a nearby drive-through and had snacks from a machine next to the motel office. We curled up on the bed together and munched on chips while watching TV on the crappy old television set in the room.

And it was nice.

I liked being with her like that.

We crawled under the covers for the last bit of a movie, and when it was over, we turned in each other’s arms, like it was as natural as breathing, and we kissed.

We did it right there on the bed vanilla style. Missionary position, her legs spread for me, her hips grinding against mine, both of us sighing like steam engines.

I liked that too.

It seemed so easy and normal and nice. As I drifted to sleep, her naked skin against mine, I thought about having her next to me every night, just like this.

Her breath was easy and soft, as she slipped off.

I stroked her hair, trailed my hand over her back.

She threw her leg over me, shifting in her sleep.

I felt wetness between her thighs and realized it was because my semen was sliding out of her.

Which kind of turned me on for a second, and my cock twitched a little bit. I thought of her just overflowing with my come, and I had to admit I kind of liked the thought of that.

And then… my hand slowly inched its way over her body to settle on her stomach.

She had a tiny little bit of softness there, the hint of a belly, and I liked it.

I thought of her huge and pregnant, her belly extended. I thought of stroking her, feeling movement inside her.

I gulped.

We needed to fucking talk about this. I didn’t know what the hell was wrong with me, but I couldn’t believe that I just kept coming inside her like it wasn’t taking a big risk. I shouldn’t be taking advantage of her like this.

I didn’t even know if she wanted—

God, how could she want it? We had nothing together. We barely knew each other. And she might find me exciting now, because I was different than what she’d had before. But she wouldn’t want me around all the time. She definitely wouldn’t want to play house with me.

I moved my hand from her stomach.

Yeah, on second thought, maybe I wouldn’t say anything about it. Because once we had it out, really cleared the air and faced the music like adults, we’d realize that there was no way any of this could work. And then, well, we probably wouldn’t even want to touch each other anymore.

Right now, it was the promise of something forbidden that made it so enticing to be with her, my naked penis inside her body, nothing between us, our flesh fusing…

That was hot.

I wanted that again and again and again before I had to give her up.

I wasn’t going to say or do a thing that would ruin my chances of having it.

And the future…

Hell. I’d drive her to the damned clinic myself, if that was what she wanted. Which… of course, she’d want that. Of course, she would.

CHAPTER TWENTY

Shell

Sable Clarke shook my hand. She had a firm grip. She was a tall, slim woman. She had short hair, and she was quite striking. There was an air of confidence and power about her. I could see that she was tough. And yet, she still seemed utterly feminine. I hadn’t realized that I was hoping Sable was sort of, um, butch.

“When you called last night,” said Sable to Cade as she released my hand, “I couldn’t believe I was going to get to see you again. It’s been ages. Come here, you.” She opened her arms.

Cade hugged her, grinning.

Okay, it was official. I was jealous. Ever since I’d seen how upset Cade got when Gallo threatened Sable, I had felt a wee bit insecure, even if I hadn’t admitted it to myself.

They hugged a long time, and when they released, Cade was still grinning his head off. He looked her up and down, obviously really delighted to see her. “You look great. You holding up all right out here?”

Out here was middle of nowhere in Florida. I felt like we were in the center of the tropical rain forest or something. It was only April, and yet it was hot and humid. The air was stagnant, and I’d already been bitten by about eight mosquitoes.

Sable was grinning at Cade too. She had cocked her head to one side, and she was staring into his eyes. “Yeah… it’s a little boring, but it’s better than being dead.” She gestured behind her at the door to the house. “Come on in out of the heat, huh?”

The house was nothing special. It looked like one of those pre-fab things that they bring in on big trucks. It was long and rectangular with gray vinyl siding. There was a screened-in porch hanging off the back.

We all stepped inside the living room—two leather couches and nothing on the walls—and the chill of the air conditioning was heavenly.

Sable was still watching Cade.

Cade was looking at me.

My heart swelled. That went a long way to help with the jealousy.

“What should we do with our bags?” said Cade, turning back to her.

“Oh, let me show you to your rooms,” said Sable, heading out of the living room.

Rooms? Plural?

I glared at Cade. Actually, I glared at the back of his head, because he was already following Sable out of the living room. Had he not communicated to her that Cade and I were sharing a bed? Because, if he hadn’t, then I was started to get jealous again.

She opened a door on her right. “So, I thought this would be good for…” She looked at me. “Sorry, what’s your name again? Shelly?”

“Shell,” I said. “Just Shell.” I peered over her shoulder into the room, which was tiny, containing a single bed with a garish yellow comforter on top.

“Sable Clarke,” said Cade, shaking his head, grinning again. “It’s so fucking good to see you again.”

She looked back at him, and her adoration was obvious.

Holy hell, Sable was totally into him.

Augh, I had never been so jealous in my entire life.

“Thing is,” Cade said, surveying the room, “Shell and I can probably stay in one room.”

Sable flinched. She looked at me, her brow furrowing. “Oh,” she said in a soft voice.

Damn. I wasn’t jealous anymore, but I felt like hell. I saw how it was now. Sable was head over heels for him, and he didn’t even know it. I eyed him, and I wondered if he and I weren’t on the very same track. Maybe he had a pattern. Maybe he used women and moved on. I really didn’t know.

I swallowed. “I can stay here.” I took my bag off my shoulder and set it on the bed.

Cade gave me a funny look.

Sable didn’t look any happier. “Your room has a single bed too,” she informed Cade. “The only full-size bed is in my room.” She didn’t have to add that there was no way she was giving it up so that the two of us could fuck in it. I understood.

“This is fine,” I said, patting the ugly comforter.

Cade didn’t say anything. He turned and walked out of the room and went down the hall. He opened a door.

“That’s mine,” called Sable.

He turned and opened another door across the hall.

“That’s the bathroom,” said Sable, heading after him. She opened the next door down. “This is you.”

“Fine,” said Cade, throwing his bag on the floor. He wasn’t grinning anymore.

Neither was Sable.

* * *

Shell

But later on, after Sable heated up frozen pizzas for dinner, and we all drank a few beers, they both seemed to loosen up. They dominated the conversation, sharing memories from their life together.

They talked about people I didn’t know, situations I couldn’t relate to.

They laughed about guns jamming, about trying to dump bodies in frozen lakes, about a certain Russian client whose accent was so thick that Sable had misheard the intended target and nearly killed the wrong person.

“You and your code,” said Sable, tipping the beer into her mouth. “If it hadn’t been for the fact that I was calling him back to tell him that I wasn’t going to take the job, because the guy didn’t fit our profile, I would have blown his fucking head off.”

Cade laughed. “The thing was, though, the name of the real target didn’t sound anything like what you heard.”

I personally didn’t really think this was funny. It was kind of horrifying to me. If Cade wanted to have conversations like this all the time, then I wasn’t the person to do it with. I wondered if he’d be happier with someone like Sable. Someone who really understood him.

But then I wasn’t really sure why I was even considering the idea that Cade would be with me. I guessed that it had seemed much more plausible when we were alone together, but the more I thought about it, the more I began to worry that all Cade and I had was hot sex. We had nothing in common, and there was nothing that was going to keep us together.

Hell, I didn’t even know his favorite movie or television show.

At one point, Sable went to the bathroom, and in her absence, it was quiet.

I nursed my beer, feeling awkward. It suddenly seemed as if I didn’t belong here at all.

Cade eyed me. “Did I do something?”

“What?” I said.

“I piss you off in some way?”

“No. What are you talking about?”

He set his beer down on the table, and he talked to it, not me. “You just come to your senses, then? Realize that there’s nothing about the two of us together that makes any sense?”

That stung. I hugged myself. “I guess we don’t make sense, do we?”

And then Sable came back from the bathroom. She smiled at us. “Who wants more beer?”

“I think I’m going to bed,” I muttered. I got up took my beer to the sink to dump out the rest of it. I stole a glance at Cade. He still wasn’t looking at me. Fine. Whatever. I went back the hallway, away from both of them.

* * *

Cade

Sable handed me another beer.

I popped the lid off and took a long drink. I was in a bad mood, even though I should have seen things coming with Shell. I knew she wouldn’t want anything to do with me eventually, but things had seemed so good the night before. I didn’t know why she wanted her own room now. Didn’t make any sense to just suddenly decide she didn’t want to sleep with me. Sure, the beds were both narrow, but she hadn’t known that when she said she wanted to sleep alone. Besides, I wasn’t above dismantling the bed, taking it down the hall, and sticking them both together. Problem solved.

But I wasn’t going to suggest that and make myself look like a pathetic needy idiot. She was over it. I was fine with that.

I just really hoped she wasn’t pregnant, because that was going to make everything even harder.

It would be easier if I could take care of Ice, drop her off at her apartment, and never see her again. If she was pregnant, then the pain of all of it would be doubled, and it would linger, and I would think about it…

“What’s up with you?” said Sable. “Ice really get to you?”

I nodded slowly. “Ice. Yeah. I need to figure out what to do about him. I should probably go back to D.C. Hunt him down. Take him out.”

“Really?” She raised her eyebrows. “From what I remember, he was like your brother from another mother. You two were tight.”

I sighed. “You can’t be tight with Ice. He’s not wired that way.”

“Still. Whatever he’s done, I can’t believe that you’re thinking about killing him. What did he do?”

“He, uh, he just won’t let it go. And he’s got this obsession with Shell now, and I don’t know if he’ll give that up. I might have to kill him just so that she’ll be safe.”

She gave me a small smile. “You were always saving people. You saved me more than once.”

“I do what I can. Doesn’t balance the scales or anything. I’ve killed more than I’ve saved.”

She looked into her beer, nodding slowly. “And Shell? She’s special?”

I shook my head. “She’s… I don’t think so. I think it’s just sex. Hot sex. Really hot sex, but… no, nothing special.”

“Oh, too bad,” she said, but she didn’t actually sound that upset about it.

I furrowed my brow at her. “Sable, you’re a woman.”

“Yeah, last I checked.”

“So, what would make you—” I shook my head. “Never mind.”

“You can ask me.”

“Nah,” I said. “I realized it wouldn’t make any difference. You’re not like other women. There’s no way you’d do the same thing as they do.”

She looked down at her beer. “Yeah. I’m different.”

“Look, if I go back to D.C., then would you mind babysitting her?”

“I’m not sure she really likes me, Ripper.”

I sat back, taking a swig of my beer. “What are you talking about? She doesn’t even know you.”

“I just get that sense from her.” Sable picked at her beer label. “Look, why don’t you just lie low for a bit? Stay a week or so. Maybe Ice will forget all about you. You can call him in five days or something. See where his head’s at.”

I nodded. “All right. That makes sense.” But if Shell was feeling cold towards me already, it was going to be a pretty long week.

* * *

Shell

Days passed, and Cade didn’t talk to me. I was confused, but I thought maybe it had something to do with Sable. I had thought that he had no idea that she was in love with him, but now I wasn’t so sure. They seemed to always be together, laughing and talking and having a grand old time.

Except occasionally, I’d come on Cade talking on the phone. One day, I heard snatches of his conversation. “…no, I need someone to go in there and get rid of the bodies. I’d do it, but I’m not in the area… Of course I’m going to pay you.”

I gathered that he was calling one of his other hitman friends to clear away the bodies of the guys Ice had hired. The ones who were left at his house.

Another day, I heard him setting up work with contractors to come and repair the glass walls that had bullet holes in them.

But the rest of the time, he was with Sable, and he seemed so relaxed and happy with her.

I spent my days working on comic strips. I had missed a day, so I put up a late strip, and then I made enough strips that they would auto-post for the next three weeks. I had never been that far ahead, because I usually procrastinated a lot. Thing was, it was nice to dive into my made-up world. In my comic, the only problem that anyone had was a hangover or a lack of a romantic connection. It seemed simpler there, though those problems used to define me. Now, I was in fear for my life, and that dwarfed everything.

Well, everything except the fact that I wasn’t sure if I was pregnant or not.

And the fact that I missed Cade. I would lie in bed at night, remembering his hands on me, his voice in my ear, the way he expertly touched me, the way he ordered me to come. Damn it, but I was going to miss him for the rest of my life. I was pretty sure that I was never going to have sex that was so good ever again.

I was conflicted about the pregnancy thing. On the one had, obviously everything was better if I wasn’t pregnant.

But some part of me—some irrational part of me—wanted his baby, even if I didn’t have him. I imagined a little boy with Cade’s eyes. I would be there for him in the way that his own mother hadn’t been able to be. I would protect him and love him and watch him grow up. And even if I didn’t have Cade, I would have a little piece of him forever and always.

I knew it was insane. I knew that I’d never be able to make it work. But I still wanted it, almost yearned for it.

I found myself Googling pregnancy symptoms, even though I thought it was far too early to have any idea whether I was pregnant or not.

But through my online searching, I stumbled across trying-to-conceive (TTC) forums, and I began to learn all kinds of things about getting pregnant that I’d never really understood before. For instance, apparently, there were only a few days during the month when I could actually get pregnant. I had always thought it was more like a week. I thought that it was right before ovulation and right afterward. But I found out that after ovulation, the egg died pretty quickly if it wasn’t fertilized, so it was actually better to have lots of sex before ovulating because then the sperm would have time to swim all the way up and be right there when the egg was released.

Sperm could live inside your body for days.

I found that slightly odd to think of. That Cade had come inside me only a few days ago, and little squirmy microscopic carriers of his DNA were still alive inside my body. It could have been creepy, but it wasn’t. It was nice and kind of hot.

Of course, Cade and I weren’t talking.

I mean, we were polite to each other. We said things like, “Pass the milk,” and “Good night.” But we hadn’t had an honest-to-goodness conversation. I kept thinking about having one, but I didn’t know what to say.

He was always with Sable.

And I began to think that maybe he and Sable used to have a thing. He had thought it was over, but when he saw her, he remembered how much he was into her. I couldn’t forget about how his eyes had lit up at the sight of her, after all. And so then he’d had that stupid conversation with me over the beer, telling me that he and I didn’t make sense, all so he could go back to her.

I didn’t think he was fucking her, because I always saw them coming out of separate rooms in the morning, but that didn’t mean anything. Maybe he was sneaking back to his room so as not to rub it in my face.

I couldn’t stop thinking about that. At first it made me sad, and it really hurt, because I felt rejected by him.

But the more that I started to read about how many days past ovulation I might be and whether or not I would already start having to pee a lot or if my breasts would be tender or if I’d have implantation bleeding, the more I started to get angry.

This man had unprotected sex with me over and over, and then he just dropped me to hook back up with his ex?

There hadn’t been any promises between Cade and me, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t fucked up.

I resolved to confront him about it.

But the morning that I wanted to give him a piece of my mind, he wasn’t awake.

Instead, Sable was the only person in the kitchen. She was making fresh-squeezed orange juice from the orange tree in the yard. She had this heavy-duty contraption that she always used for it. “Good morning,” she said, sounding cheery.

“Where’s Cade?” I said.

“Cade? Oh, you mean Ripper.” She picked up half an orange and stuck it it the contraption. “He was up late last night trying to figure out what he was going to do if Ice doesn’t back off. He’ll probably sleep in.” She yanked down a metal lever, which pushed down on the orange, squeezing all the juice into a container where it was collected.

I folded my arms over my chest. “Up late figuring stuff out. Right. Were you helping him?”

She picked up another orange. “Not really. I would have helped, but he’s never much interested in anyone else’s ideas. He’s convinced he’s brilliant. The hell of it is, he’s right.” She laughed a little.

I didn’t laugh. “Look, are you and him… is something going on between you two?”

She set down the orange and looked at me with sad eyes. “Oh, sweetie.”

“Don’t do that.” I pointed at her. “Don’t feel sorry for me. If you and Cade are—”

“Nothing,” she said. “We’re nothing. Only friends. That’s it.”

I wasn’t sure I believed her.

She put an arm around me. “He does this all the time. He seems to be completely unaware of the effect that he has on women. He just doesn’t get it. He thinks that everyone is as unaffected as he is, and then…” She shook her head. “Trust me, I know how you’re feeling.”

I pushed her away. It was worse than the two of them being together, suddenly. Now, I was just part of a pattern, a string of women that he left in his wake. I felt like an idiot. I sat down at the table, and suddenly—I started to cry.

“Oh, sweetie, don’t—don’t cry.” Sable tried to hug me.

I pushed her off. “So, you slept with him too.”

She sat down opposite me at the table. “It was a long time ago. It never meant anything to him. I think he was incapable of noticing whether it meant anything to me.”

I shook my head, feeling sick. Which made me wonder if it was an early pregnancy symptom, although the TTC boards seemed to say that usually didn’t show up until you were about a month along, so it probably wasn’t—

I got up from the table. “I need to get out of here.”

“I don’t think you should do that.”

“I just… I need to drive,” I said. “You have a car. Give me the keys.”

“Come on, Shell. You can’t go off like that. You’re in hiding.”

“If Ice was here, he’d already have done something,” I said. “We’ve been here days.”

“You should just have some orange juice and calm down. Trust me, I know what it’s like with Ripper. He can make you feel like you’re the most important person on the earth. And, the thing is, I think he really feels that way when you’re alone with him. It’s only that he feels that way about everyone. I think he’s genuinely unaware of it all. I think he’s just being sincere, and he doesn’t even know who he’s hurting.”

I wanted to strangle him. I wanted to pound my fists against his chest and sob and call him every insult I could think of.

I wanted as far away from him as I could be.

“Sit back down,” said Sable.

“You just told me that Cade is a dog, who uses girls one after another and makes them think he’s into them, when he’s actually not, and that I’m the latest idiot to fall for it, and you want me to sit down?”

“That’s not exactly what I said, and it’s not what I mean.”

I stalked over to the counter, where her purse was sitting.

“Hey, Shell, don’t,” she said, getting up.

I reached in the front pocket. Jackpot. I pulled out the keys.

“Put them down,” she said.

“I just need away from here,” I said, and I dove out the front door.

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

Cade

Sable was shaking me. “Ripper, you need to wake up.”

I sat up straight in bed. I was pretty good at waking up quickly when I needed to. “What?”

“I tried to stop her.”

“What are you talking about?” I threw aside the covers and got up, reaching for a t-shirt to pull on over the jeans I had slept in.

“Shell took my car,” said Sable. “She was upset.”

“What?” The word bellowed out of me.

Sable cringed. “I’m sorry.”

“How hard did you try to stop her? Not very.”

She grabbed my arm. “Look, I think you need to have a talk with her, and I thought that if you and I just had a couple of minutes alone, maybe I could—”

“She’s in fucking danger, Sable.” I shook her off. I stalked out of the room and down the hallway. “Which direction did she go?”

“Out the driveway. I couldn’t see which way after that.” Sable was following me. “She said that if Ice was going to make a move, he would have, and I think she’s right.”

I took a deep breath. “Okay, maybe you’re right. We are fourteen hours away from him. He’s probably not around.”

“Probably not,” she said.

I went to the window and looked out. “Still, you shouldn’t have let her go off like that.”

“She was upset.”

“What was she upset about?” Oh, fuck, had she somehow figured out that she was pregnant? I rubbed my face.

Sable gestured into the living room. “Let’s sit down.”

I braced one hand against the top of the window and gazed out. If she was pregnant, she should know that she could come to me. But, hell, I hadn’t been talking to her for the past few days. I was hurt that she had rejected me, and that she didn’t want to be with me anymore, even though I should have seen it coming. I just couldn’t figure out what had set her off. One minute, we’d been all over each other. The next, she was shutting me down.

I should have talked to her about it. Maybe she wouldn’t be running off now.

“You can just tell me,” I said to the window. “I can handle it.”

“I think she… has feelings for you.”

I let go of the doorway and turned around to face Sable. “But she specifically said she didn’t want to share a room with me. I thought there was something there too, but she wised up. She doesn’t want to be with someone like me. No one does.”

“No one?” Sable gave me a confused look. “What are you talking about, Ripper? You have women throwing themselves at you—”

“They don’t know the truth. They don’t know what I am.”

“All of them do,” she said. “Every single woman you’ve ever saved from getting hurt or killed has had a big crush on you.”

“But I don’t…” I folded my arms over my chest. “I don’t get involved with people I save.” I looked out after Shell. “Usually.”

Sable raised her eyebrows.

I cleared my throat. “Well, what happened with us was…” I ran a hand through my hair. “We were really drunk. And you… I…”

“I know that you don’t form attachments like that,” she said. “I know that you just don’t feel whatever it is that people like Shell and I feel for you, but you need to understand that sometimes, realizing that it’s all been physical, and that it hasn’t meant anything, is painful for a girl like her. I know how she feels.”

I blinked. I was feeling very confused.

Sable swallowed. “This is embarrassing and all, but I’ve always, ever since that night, sort of, had this… thing when it comes to you, but I know that you never saw me that way, and I’m okay with that. I just think you need to try to be sensitive with Shell—”

“Hold on.” I looked at her. “A thing?” I was having trouble processing this. Was it even possible for a woman who knew that I was a killer to feel anything for me other than revulsion? Deep down, I mean. I knew that Shell was attracted to me, but that didn’t mean anything, not really. She had rejected me. I knew she had, so why was Sable acting like I’d been the one who’d rejected Shell? And why was Sable saying that she felt things for me?

That was just ridiculous. Sable was like a sister to me. Okay, so one drunken night we’d sort of hooked up, but I barely remembered that. What I did remember was that we hadn’t had much chemistry, and the event had only served to cement the notion that there should never be anything between Sable and me besides friendship.

She shoved her hands into her pockets and let out a little laugh. “A thing. You know, I… Oh, hell, Ripper, you really don’t understand?”

I licked my lips, trying to think of a response. Finally, I turned back to the window. “Well, that’s just dumb.”

“Oh, thank you.” She was sarcastic. Hurt.

“I mean it,” I said. “There’s no way that you should be with someone like me.”

“Someone who understands me? Someone who I have a lot in common with? Someone who’s pretty fucking hot? Yeah, that’s crazy on my part.”

Now, I just felt like a dumbass for not noticing this. And I felt… really bad. Because I didn’t feel anything for Sable at all. She was practically not a female as far as I was concerned. But she was a good friend, and I cared about her, and if I had known that some other guy had behaved toward her the way I had, then I would probably be pissed at him. I glanced at her over my shoulder. “I’m sorry,” I muttered.

She sighed. “Whatever.” She backed out of the room.

“Wait,” I said, turning around. “Really, I didn’t know that you—”

“Drop it,” she snapped.

I went after her.

She turned and faced me. “Back off. I don’t feel like being around you right now. I’m really embarrassed, and you’re being kind of a dick.”

“I know,” I said. “Another reason you should probably not have feelings for me. But the thing is, I’m still really confused, because you’re saying all this stuff about Shell being hurt and stuff, and she is the one who rejected me, not the other way around, so that makes no sense.”

Sable looked at her shoes. “You do care about her.”

“No. I mean, she doesn’t care about me, so—”

“She does.” Sable sounded like she might start crying.

I had never seen her cry before, not even when she got stabbed in a knife fight with a terrorist target that she and I were working on together—a government job. She’d taken that dry-eyed, and to see her start to crack…

I backed away. “Look, I’m just going to go after her, okay?”

“Yeah, fine.” She turned around and continued back the hallway.

I ducked into my room to get the keys to my car. I was such a fucking idiot. I couldn’t see anything clearly, apparently.

* * *

Shell

I was turning over pregnancy tests in my hand, reading the back label to try to figure out which one I should buy. I was pretty sure I wanted the First Response kind, which said it could detect hormones up to six days before my missed period, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted the brand name or the generic, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted two or three tests. I thought that the generic was probably as good as the brand name, but I couldn’t really be sure, so I thought maybe I should get the brand name. And two tests would be fine if I was actually pregnant. But if two tests came back negative, then I was just going to want to take one the next day.

The women on the TTC forums all were testing daily, sometimes more than once. They were obsessed with trying to get pregnant, and they were all trying to interpret symptoms and stuff.

Maybe I should get two packs of three.

But if the first one came back positive, then I would have wasted money. On the other hand, I wasn’t sure when I’d be able to get back to the store.

I picked up two packages of the brand name tests and headed for the front of the store.

Now, when I got back to the house, I was going to have to wait to take the test, because I knew from the TTC forums that they were more accurate first thing in morning, because your urine was more concentrated right when you woke up. Which was gross and all, but if I was pregnant, everything was just going to get grosser.

I paid for the tests and headed out the door into the parking lot.

Now, where was Sable’s car?

I spotted it and started to go that direction, when I felt something hard and metal poke me in the back.

“Well, hello, there, Shell.” It was Ice. He was here, and he had a gun to my back.

I opened my throat to scream.

“Don’t make a noise,” he said, “or I’ll shoot.”

I closed my mouth.

“Good,” he said. “Now, we’re going to walk slowly and casually, like we don’t have a care in the world, toward that red car over there. Then you’re going to get inside, acting naturally, and we’re going to drive off. Understand?”

Oh, God, I’d left the gun that Cade have given me back at Sable’s. I could see it, nestled in my bag with my clothes, completely worthless. Damn it.

I bit my lip. “Why should I do what you say? You’re going to kill me either way, right?”

He chuckled. “Oh, I don’t know. Ripper seemed to like having you alive, didn’t he? Maybe I’ll spend some time figuring out why. Maybe if you make me very, very happy, I won’t kill you at all. Your sister’s a talented whore, isn’t she? Maybe it runs in the family.”

I wanted to run. I wanted to scream. I wanted to do something—anything—other than what he was saying to me. The prospect of being raped and tortured and murdered was filling my brain, and not in a hypothetical way, the way I generally thought of those things when I heard them on the news. In a very real, personal way.

No, I thought.

Then he nudged me with the gun again.

And I started walking, slowly and casually, just like he’d told me to.

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

Cade

“Yeah, I saw a girl like that come in a while ago,” said the cashier. “She bought pregnancy tests.”

“That’s her,” I said, a lump in my throat. “So, where’d she go?” I knew that she hadn’t gotten back in Sable’s car, because that was how I’d come to be talking to this man in the first place. I found Sable’s car in this parking lot, abandoned, no sign of Shell anywhere.

The cashier shrugged. “I couldn’t tell you. I saw her walk out.” He furrowed his brow. “There was a man waiting for her. He put his arm around her, and they went to his car.”

“A man with red hair?” I said. “Freckles?”

“Yeah, that’s him.” The cashier nodded.

Fuck. Ice had her. Ice was here.

Damn it.

How had he found us? Had it been the car after all? The one in Virginia?

No one knew where Sable was, no one except me…

He must have followed us somehow. It had to have been the damned car. Fuck, fuck, fuck, I shouldn’t have switched vehicles. I rubbed my forehead.

“Are you all right, sir?” said the cashier.

“I’m fine,” I said. “Thank you for your time.” I left the store.

I stood out in the parking lot and stared at the blacktop, at the white lines that formed the spaces. Ice had her, and I didn’t know where the hell he was.

He hadn’t left me a note or a clue this time.

Or had he?

I raced back to Sable’s car, and there… sure enough, right under the windshield wiper was a tiny square of paper. I hadn’t noticed it before. I snatched it out.

Tag, it read. You’re it.

Shit. That wasn’t much to go on.

* * *

Shell

Ice took me to an abandoned daycare center with boarded up windows. Inside, there was one big room, and I could barely see that the walls had been painted with jungle animals and rainbows. I wasn’t sure that really went together, but maybe that was why the place had been shut down. Because of the murals. Oh, there was a dragon on that wall. Yeah, that didn’t make any sense thematically, either.

He was carrying the shopping bag from the drug store, and he held my arm as he looked inside it.

When he took out the pregnancy tests, he was quiet. He let go of me and started to pace, holding them.

I thought about making a run for it. He wasn’t looking at me, and maybe I could get to the front door and get outside and run.

But it was hot out there, and we were out in the middle of nowhere. I might get free, but I wouldn’t be able to run for very long before—

Seriously?

He was going to kill me, what was I thinking?

I made a break for it.

He turned immediately and snatched my wrist.

I tripped over my own feet and fell flat on my face. My chin glanced against the floor painfully.

Groaning, I rolled into a ball.

He knelt down next to me. “Why’d you buy these tests?”

“I get a kick out of peeing on plastic,” I snapped. “What kind of question is that? I would think it’s pretty obvious.”

“You think you’re pregnant.”

“I don’t know.” I sat up. I looked at the door again.

“Don’t even think about it. I will shoot you in the back,” he said. He looked back at the tests. “With Cade’s child. It is Cade, yes?”

I nodded. “Yes. But I don’t know if I am or not.”

He slammed one of the boxes into my hand. “You need to find out.”

“What does it matter to you?”

His nostrils flared. “You take the test.”

I looked around. “Okay, well, I need a bathroom.”

He dragged me to my feet and yanked me to the back of the room. There were two doors here, one with a girl tiger painted on it and one with a boy tiger. He took me into the boy tiger room, not that I guessed it mattered. There was a window inside, and bright sunlight illuminated the small room.

Inside was a tiny, child-sized toilet. No water in the bowl.

He shut the door, closing us both inside. He gestured.

I turned the test over in my hands. “You going to give me some privacy?”

“Don’t be stupid.” He leaned against the door, arms over his chest.

“I can’t go with you in here,” I said. “Besides, it might not be accurate at this time of the day.”

“What does the time of the day have to do with it?”

“Well, sometimes you get a false negative if the urine is too diluted,” I said.

He took the box from me and ripped it open. He took out one of the tests, which was wrapped in another packet. He ripped that open too. He handed it to me. “We’ll stay in here until you take the test.”

“I can’t…” I shook my head. “I can’t have you watch me.”

Ice giggled. “Does it bother you? Good.” He reached out and unbuttoned my pants.

I backed up. “I can do it myself.” I didn’t want him there, but if he was going to be there, then I definitely didn’t want his hands on me. I managed to undo my pants and squat over the toilet while still hiding most of my body from view. I hovered there, holding the test down below myself.

But there really was no way that I was going to be able to do this with him watching. No fucking way.

* * *

Cade

I paced in the parking lot, holding my phone against my ear in one hand and the slip of paper from Ice in my other hand.

“I’m just going to come out there,” said Sable on the other end of the phone.

“No, no, no,” I said. “That’s a bad idea. You’re in hiding. In fact, you need to get the fuck out of dodge. You need to get in a car and start driving, and I’ll get in touch with you when I know where you should go.”

“It’s just Ice, Ripper,” she said. “He’s not going to sell me out to the Gallo family.”

“He’d do it in a heartbeat,” I said.

“I thought you liked this guy.”

“I never liked him,” I said. “I just… I thought we understood each other.”

“So, if you understand him so well, what’s the note mean?”

“Well, if I knew that, I’d be there, kicking his ass, not calling you for help.”

“You want my help or want me to run?”

“Both.” I kicked a rock, sending it skittering over the pavement.

“Calm down, Ripper.”

“You calm down, Sable,” I said. “I have no idea what he’s doing with her. Maybe she’s already dead.” No. No, he wouldn’t have killed her already. He’d want to drag it out. But that might mean worse things. He might be hurting her, cutting her… I thought of all the things that Ice had told me he wanted to do to women, and I started to shake.

“He said tag, right?” she said. “There’s an abandoned laser tag place out by Route 27. It never caught on. Too far from anywhere touristy, you know? Maybe he’s there.”

“No,” I said. “That’s too obvious.”

“Why leave you a note at all if he didn’t want you to figure it out?”

I stopped walking. “It’s not laser tag.” Tag, tag, tag. Why would he say it? I started walking again. “Okay, see the thing is, tag is a game that children play, and he’d say that, he’d reference that.” Because that was something we had in common.

Ice lost his mother too, see. When he was a kid. He was younger than me, so young. Three and a half. He said it was his first memory, the most clear thing he could remember from his early childhood. Watching his father beat his mother to death.

When he told me that, I remember that he wouldn’t look at me, but he talked about how it made him feel. How helpless he was, stuck there, watching. He said he was crying, and that he even tried to pull his father off, but his father stuck him in his playpen, shut him up there, and that Ice looked through the bars, screaming…

“It’s something about being a kid,” I said. “Are there any rundown playgrounds? Schools?”

“Um, not that I know of off the top of my head,” she said. “Let me get my tablet. I’ll Google it.”

I knew that helpless feeling. It was the way I felt when I watched my mother die. It was deep, stuck inside me, somewhere locked away. Helplessness. Anger. So much anger.

And when Ice looked up at me after explaining it all, we gazed into each other’s eyes, and we knew. We were brothers. We were the same.

And now…

Fuck it.

“There’s a daycare,” said Sable. “It’s been closed down for nearly three years.”

“That’s it,” I said. “Tell me where it is.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

Shell

“I cannot pee with you watching,” I said through clenched teeth. I was sweating from the effort of keeping myself in a squatting position. Not only that, it was hot in this fucking room—sweltering. The sweat was dripping down my forehead, getting in my eyes.

Ice put his gun to my head. “Maybe I’ll have to scare it out of you.”

I shut my eyes. I was going to start crying. “It doesn’t matter. I just… it’s not going to work if you’re here.”

“I’m not leaving, bitch,” he said, kneeling down next to me. “So, you’d better figure out a way.”

I kept my eyes shut.

“I will shoot you. Don’t think I won’t.”

“Wouldn’t that rob you of the chance to torture me?” I said, opening my eyes, my voice a snarl. “Isn’t that what you get off on?”

“I wouldn’t speak to me that way if I were you.” He cocked the gun.

Terror flooded me. Holy fuck, he was going to do it. He was going to shoot me.

And suddenly, the fear made my bladder let loose.

“I knew you’d figure it out,” said Ice.

When I was finished, he backed away, allowing me to stand up and pull up my pants. I still felt violated in some horrid way. He didn’t have the right to be here during something so private.

He held out his hand. “Give me the test.”

I glanced down at it. There were no lines yet.

He snatched it from me.

I bit down on my bottom lip. “So, now what?”

“Now, we wait,” he said.

“Why do you care about the test?” I said. My legs felt shaky and sore from having squatted for so long. I shook one of them out.

“Don’t you worry about that,” he said.

I shifted on my feet, watching him.

He was staring down at the test, not looking at me.

I thought again about trying to run. Sure, he was blocking the door, but maybe if I moved fast, I could dart around him and—

He looked up at me, sneering. “The instructions say we have to wait two minutes. So, we’re going to wait, and then we’ll see what this test says.”

I felt anxious. Was I pregnant or wasn’t I? And what did Ice care, one way or the other? Why was he making such a big thing out of this?

It had to be because something with Cade. He didn’t like the idea that Cade would be having a child or something, because Ice had some kind of weird obsession with Cade. But if it came to that, it wasn’t as if Cade wasn’t weird about Ice as well. Cade would kill all kinds of other people without even thinking about it, but he didn’t want to kill Ice.

I didn’t know why that was, but I wished that he had.

When Ice broke into Cade’s house, if Cade had shot him in the head instead of leaving him tied up on the porch, that would have been much better.

I’d be safe now.

I stuck my hands in my pockets. “What’s the test say?”

“Nothing,” said Ice. “It’s barely been thirty seconds.”

“Oh come on,” I said. “Sometimes, you can read it earlier than that.” I’d taken pregnancy tests before. A couple times in college, I’d had some scares. Both times, the test had been negative.

Ice glared at me. “Maybe you should just shut up.”

I decided it was better not to make him angry. So, I looked down at the floor. It had once been a cheery yellow tile, but now it was grimy and dirty. Dead leaves had blown in through the broken window overhead, and they gathered in the corners.

Next to me, there was a painting of a little bear who was standing next to a sink with suds all over his hands. Don’t forget to wash your hands, it read in faded blue writing.

God, why were we here? This place was creepy as hell, even creepier than the abandoned mental hospital. Why did Ice always have to hang out in places that were decrepit and falling apart like this?

I supposed I could ask him, but he wasn’t likely to answer me. He’d probably just be annoyed.

But he did seem to be waiting on the results to the test for some reason. Maybe he wouldn’t hurt me if he didn’t know the result yet.

Hmm.

What if I could work it so he didn’t know the result at all? Maybe I could grab the test and run? Maybe he wouldn’t hurt me, even if he caught me?

But that wouldn’t work, because he’d just make me take it again, and…

Still, if I ran very, very fast, maybe I could get away.

I eyed him. He had the test in one hand, and he had his gun in the other. He wasn’t currently looking at the test. He was looking out at the window.

I was going to do it. I was going to jump at him and snatch the test out of his hand and—

He looked down at the test again. “Damn it,” he said.

Why was he saying that? Was there a result? If there was a result, then my plan wouldn’t work, because he would know if he was going to hurt me or not.

“Damn it all to hell.” He turned and aimed a kick at the wall. He looked absurd, like a toddler who was throwing a tantrum. He turned back to me, angry, and he shoved the test in his pocket.

If he wasn’t looking at it anymore, that did mean there was a result. Was I pregnant? “What?” I said. “What does it say?”

He leveled the gun at me. “Face the wall. Don’t struggle, or it will be worse for you.”

* * *

Cade

I threw open the door to the daycare center, and went in gun first, like I was on one of those cop TV shows. “Ice?” I called. “Frazier?”

There was no answer. Inside, the place was empty, full of shadows. I could see the paint job on the wall—peeling lions and tigers.

“Ice!” I called again.

He melted out of the shadows, a devious sort of smile on his face, something almost cartoonish, which only made me feel more worried. He saw the world the way a child did sometimes. He didn’t seem to quite fathom the fact that other people were more real than a game or a story. He saw this all as a nasty little game we were playing. He didn’t understand, and I wanted to strangle him.

But there was more to it than that, because I felt a kinship for him. He was like the brother I’d never had—albeit a bratty little brother who was always getting into trouble.

And, of course, neither of us had a mother that we could tattle to on the other, which meant that in a situation like this, we had to sort out the problem on our own.

“Where is she?” I said in a hoarse voice.

He just smiled.

“Did you kill her?” and my voice broke. “So help me, Frazier, if you killed her, I will end you.”

He cocked his head to one side. “You wouldn’t. We’re the same, Cade. We both know it. If you kill me, you’ll be all alone. You wouldn’t do that, and I would never really hurt you either.”

“But you are, though, Ice,” I said. “You’re hurting Shell, and that hurts me.”

He scuffed his toe against the floor. “You like her more than you like me, don’t you?” He was whining a little.

“God damn it, Ice, where is she?”

He laughed. “She ruined everything.”

“No, you ruined it. Because we aren’t the fucking same, Ice. I’m not nearly as twisted as you are.”

“You’re weak,” he said in a low voice. “Infected with caring, like the rest of them. I care about you, Cade, but you’re worthy of me. That girl, she’s not. She’s just like all the others.”

After Ice’s father killed his mother, his father went to jail. And Ice was shuffled around from relative to relative like me. No one could handle him, though. And then his grandmother had a stroke, and she was the only one who would still allow him in her house. So little Frazier went to foster care. He was six years old. He had it worse than me, and I always felt bad for him. Like maybe now I could make it better. I could take care of him, and I could fix him.

But he wasn’t fixable. It went too deep.

“She ruined us,” Ice said again.

“Ice, I’d already kicked you out before she showed up. This has nothing to do with her, so just tell me where she is.” And don’t let her be dead. Or too badly messed up.

He lifted his chin. “She’s dead. I already killed her.”

I wasn’t prepared for the rush of despair that filled me at his words. It was crippling, and I actually stumbled, hardly able to keep my balance.

“I did it fast. That should please you,” he said in a quiet voice, almost a purr. “Just a bullet to the back of the skull execution-style. She’s gone now, and there’s no reason why we can’t be—”

I dove onto him, not even mindful of the fact that I was holding a loaded gun and that I could have blown him away. This was too personal, and I needed my hands on him. I needed to feel it when I squeezed out his life.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

Cade

Ice struggled, knocking the gun out of my hand.

I didn’t care. I wanted my hands around his neck.

But he blocked me. He fell onto his back, but he brought his knee into my stomach.

It caught me hard, knocking the wind out of me, and I grunted, floundering.

He grabbed me by the neck, then, and he slammed me into the ground

Now I was beneath him, and he was over me, hands around my neck, his demented freckled face looming over mine. “I had to see if you’d do it. I had to know,” he was saying.

I wasn’t listening to him. He was making it hard for me to breathe, but that wasn’t going to stop me. I put my hands over his hands, and I started to pry him away from my neck, finger by finger. I bent back his fingers, bent them back as far as I could.

He shrieked in pain. “I didn’t kill her, Cade. I didn’t kill her. I couldn’t.”

I froze, gazing at him. What kind of trick was this? Was he saying this to spare his own life?

“She’s pregnant,” said Ice.

And I let go of him.

He rocked back on his knees, massaging his hurt fingers. “I couldn’t kill a mother. You know that. You know me.”

“Where is she?” I said, getting to my feet.

He pointed. “She’s in the bathroom.”

I staggered across the room and threw open the door he was pointing at. There she was, huddled under the sink, tied there, a gag in her mouth.

“Shell?” I whispered.

“I’ll leave her alone now, I promise,” said Ice from behind me. “I didn’t know about the baby. If I had known, I wouldn’t have taken her. But this is going to change everything between us, Cade, and I don’t—”

“Shut up.” I didn’t look at him, I just gestured behind me. My voice wasn’t steady. I dropped to my knees in front of Shell, and I yanked the gag out of her mouth. “Did he hurt you? Did he touch you?”

“Did he say the test was positive?” she said. “He wouldn’t let me see it, and I didn’t know, and he tied me up here. Did he say I was pregnant?”

“Are you okay?” I said. Geez, we could worry about that in a second.

She nodded.

I finished untying her. I helped her stand up. I put my hands on her face, and they were shaking as I brushed her sweaty hair away from her features. Fuck. I pulled her close.

She clung to me.

Together, we made our halting way out of the bathroom.

Ice was looking at his shoes, the expression on his face like a scolded toddler. “You’re angry, Ripper, and I know I shouldn’t have—”

“You leave us alone.” I put my finger in his face. “You never come near me or her ever again.”

“Never come near you?” He looked so hurt.

Damn it. I shut my eyes for a second. Then I opened them, taking a deep breath. I gave Shell a gentle shove toward the door. “Wait for me outside.”

She gave me a funny look.

I crossed the room and scooped my gun up off the floor. “Outside, Shell,” I said.

“Cade—”

I turned to her sharply, and she stopped speaking. She nodded and headed for the door.

“Listen, don’t be angry, Ripper,” said Ice. “I know I crossed the line, but you liked her so much, and she was so yummy looking. I couldn’t stop thinking about what it would be like to hear her scream.”

I nodded. “I know, Frazier. I know.” I crossed to him, and I opened my arms to him. “Come here. Come here, little brother.”

His face twisted, like he might cry.

I was starting to feel a little choked up too.

He walked into my arms, and we embraced.

I stroked his hair, just like he was a little boy. “You can’t help it,” I whispered. “It got in you too young. Or maybe there’s just too much of your father in you. I don’t know. But you can’t help it. And you won’t stop.”

He hugged me tight. “It’s in you, too.”

“No,” I said. “No, I don’t think it is.”

And then I brought the gun up between us, settling it under his chin.

His eyes widened, alarmed.

“I’m sorry, Frazier,” I choked. “Just… just go to sleep, okay?”

And I pulled the trigger.

* * *

Shell

Cade told me to leave, but I watched it from the doorway. I watched him shoot him. I watched him slide to the ground with the body. I watched him cradle it and cry.

When he came out, he was covered in blood, but I didn’t care. I threw my arms around him.

He held onto me like I was his life jacket and he was adrift on a choppy sea.

“He was your friend,” I whispered.

He buried his face against my shoulder. “He was my enemy.”

“But you were close to him. Closer than you are to anyone else.”

He raised his face to look at me. “No. I’m closer to you.” He touched my face.

And he kissed me.

We held onto each other, outside that broken-down building, half of the windows busted out, the Florida sun beating down on our bodies, the air full of the smells of sweat and blood and guns discharging. But in each other’s arms, we found a sweet oasis of calm, of goodness.

He pulled back slowly. “I’m a mess. I’m getting you all messy too.”

“I don’t care.” I clutched him fiercely.

He rested his forehead against mine. “I’m sorry about all this.”

“It’s not your fault.”

He kissed me again.

I was lost to the sensation of it.

He kissed my chin. He kissed my forehead. “I’m just glad you’re okay. I thought you were dead, and it nearly destroyed me.”

I looked into his eyes. “I shouldn’t have run off like that. Sable told me it was a bad idea, but I was too upset.”

“Whatever she told you about how I feel about you, you have to know that it isn’t true. I care about you. I love you.”

I felt weak. I was glad I was holding onto him, because I didn’t know if I could have held myself up. “I love you too,” I murmured, and I knew it was true, as crazy as it seemed.

“I want… I want us. I want this. I don’t know how it works, but I want it.”

I smiled. “Yes.”

“And the baby. I want…” He bit his lip. “But if you don’t want it, I understand.”

“No, I want it,” I said. “I thought that even if I didn’t have you, if I could have your baby… I mean, that sounds pathetic, and I’m not pathetic—”

“It doesn’t sound pathetic.” He kissed me again. “It sounds amazing. It sounds really good.” He grinned. “We’ll make it work, somehow, then.”

“Yes,” I said again, grinning too.

And then we were kissing again.

He pulled away, running a hand through his hair. “God damn it, this scene is messy as fuck. I’m going to have to clean it up. My DNA is everywhere. Your DNA is everywhere. I’m going to have to douse this place with bleach.”

“I’ll help,” I said.

He shook his head. “Don’t be crazy. Pregnant women shouldn’t be around bleach fumes.”

* * *

Shell

Pregnant women shouldn’t have lunch meat, either, apparently, as I found out when I wanted to stop at Subway, and Cade said that was a terrible idea. He was an encyclopedia of this stuff. Apparently, he’d read up on it. I couldn’t have soft cheeses. I couldn’t eat sushi. And worst of all, I couldn’t get in the hot tub. Apparently, the temperature was too hot, and it could upset the delicate balance in my womb.

Cade took me back to his house, which was already completely repaired when we got back, since he’d called contractors to work on it while we were in Florida. But I couldn’t get in the hot tub, which was annoying.

Cade said he’d make it up to me and he took me in to his bedroom where he began slowly removing every shred of my clothing and kissing me wherever he bared my skin.

I let myself get lost in that for a little bit. His hands were clever, and I was happy to have him do what he wanted with me.

I closed my eyes, sighing as he kissed the inside of my knee.

“Better?” he said.

“Much.”

“See? Being pregnant isn’t that terrible.”

I opened my eyes and propped myself up on my elbows. “Are you kidding? It already sucks, and I’ve still got nine months to go.”

“It won’t suck.” He kissed the top of my knee. “I’m going to wait on you hand and foot, and go get you whatever disgusting food you’re craving at two in the morning and worship the ground you walk on.”

I snickered. “Ooh, well the tables are turning, aren’t they? I’m ordering you around?”

He arched an eyebrow. “Within reason. As long as you admit that I’m in control and come whenever I tell you to.”

I flopped back on the bed. “In a few months, I’ll be too huge for sex anyway.”

His hands snaked over my panties and under my shirt to brush my belly. “No such thing.”

“You say that now, but when I am lumbering and disgusting and the size of a planet—”

“No way, it’ll be sexy as hell.”

I propped myself back up again. “You’re insane.”

He hooked his thumbs under my panties and began to drag them down my body. He kissed my left hip bone, and then my right hip bone. “I might be insane. That might be true. I still think you’re going to be hot when you’ve got a big belly.”

“No, you don’t.”

He kissed me right below my belly button and then planted a kiss on my mound. “I can’t wait, honestly. I promise to help you rub cocoa butter on it every night, and then I’ll rub you lower and lower and lower…” He chuckled wickedly.

“Really? You’re really going to do that?”

He kissed the outside of my labia, just over my clit. “I want to see you like that.” His voice had gotten husky.

There was a little thrill in my sex. I sighed, and I opened my legs to him.

He kissed my clit. Licked it. “Just thinking about it is getting me kind of aroused.”

I would have probably burst out with some kind of denial, but the way he was licking me felt too good for me to do anything other than moan.

He slid his hands under my shirt. “It’ll be hot watching your body change, watching you grow, watching what I did to you.”

I gasped. My sex clenched. “I get it,” I managed. “It’s just a macho thing. You ejaculated, and now I’m your science project.”

He laughed, his hands closing over my breasts. “You’ll be all glowing and round and curvy. And your tits will get huge, and I am going to love every second of it.” He put his mouth on my clit again, licking it as he squeezed my breasts, then teased my nipples stiff.

I moaned.

He went at me for several minutes, mouth on my clit, fingers brushing my nipples, pinching them gently, making me flood with pleasure. I let myself get caught up in it, surrendering to his hands and his tongue.

“And,” he whispered against my skin, “no matter how big your belly is, I’ll always be able to lick your pussy.”

I gasped.

“You feel good, don’t you, Shell?”

“Yeah,” I said.

“I make you feel good.”

“You make me feel amazing.”

“And I’ll keep making you feel good, while you grow my baby, which is the sexiest thing on earth.”

“Mmm,” I said.

He brushed my clit with his thumb and then made little circles around it. “How’s that, love?”

“Good,” I said. “Very good.”

“Ready to come for me?”

“Oh, I am, Cade. I want to come. Can I?”

“Soon, sweet one.” His finger circled my clit faster and faster. “Soon, soon.”

“Please?” I said, breathless. “Please let me come.”

“Well, since you asked so nicely…” He kissed me. “Come for me, Shell,” he whispered. “Come now.”

And I did, bursting and squirming and thrashing out my rapture and delight.

“God, you make me so crazy,” he said. “Feel how hard I am for you.” He put my hand on his cock. He was thick and long and firm against my palm. I started to stroke him.

He grunted. “That’s good, love. That’s nice.”

“I want you to fuck me with this,” I said. “I want you deep in me, filling me up.”

“I can do that,” he said.

And he did.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

Cade
two months later…

I pondered the plans for the nursery and addition, which I had spread out over a table in what would be the addition to my house. Currently, it was only framed-out bare wood with plastic over the top. This was the kind of thing that I would usually hire out, at least in my old life.

But I needed something to do. I knew enough about myself to know that I wasn’t the kind of man who could live an idle lifestyle. I needed something to fill my days with, something to accomplish. Truthfully, I was happier now, doing this massive project on my own, working hard outside, than I ever had been killing, which I had been so sure that I needed to do.

It was with trepidation that I had stepped into a purely administrative role with my business. The most hands-on thing I’d done was to give Sable the keys to the safe house in Iowa. With Rafael Gallo dead, her problems with the Gallo family were nearly over anyway. I was confident she’d be back home in a few months. But I’d had no physical contact with anyone else.

Before, when I’d been doing too much administration, I had started to get stir crazy, fantasizing about killing, needing the outlet. I was frightened that would happen again.

But I was also hopeful it might not. It was something that Shell said to me, that time when I felt like I fucked her so hard I fucked all the darkness out of myself. Something about never being able to control what had happened to my mother, no matter how hard I tried. At the time, I had told her that had nothing to do with my desire to kill. But her words stuck with me, and I began to wonder if maybe she wasn’t right. If this killing part of me wasn’t something innate, but something that I had adopted because of what had happened to me. I wondered if maybe I could stop.

So, I decided to try it. And two months later, I hadn’t felt one urge. Maybe it was because I spent my days working on building this addition and doing whatever I could to keep Shell happy and comfortable. Currently, we were working on finding solutions to her nausea, and the only thing that seemed to be working was mint tea. So, I was brewing it by the gallon. I wanted her to feel better. Anything I could do, I would.

That was really the difference, I thought. What had changed me was knowing that I meant something to someone. I had spent so long certain that I would always be alone, and now I had her company, and a baby on the way. A life full of motion and laughter. Something to look forward to. A reason to be a better man.

Even if the urges came back, I was sure that I could fight them.

For Shell.

For the baby.

For the future.

And so, for the time being, I worked on building this addition. It wasn’t that my house hadn’t been large enough for a child before, but it hadn’t been designed for one. Most of the walls were glass, and I couldn’t imagine that was a good idea for a kid. No, all of my research told me that we wanted a nursery that we could make cheery and sunny, but that we could also make dark like midnight when we needed to. That wasn’t easy to do with glass walls.

It was a challenge. Construction was not something that had previously been in my skill set. But I studied everything I needed to do and double-checked it before I tried it. If it didn’t work, I tore it down and started over. I promised Shell that if I really fell flat on my face with it, I would hire it out, but she said that she was sure I’d do it.

She looked at me with adoration in her eyes, and I could see that she thought I hung the moon.

And that… that was more than I’d ever hoped for, and more than I deserved. But damn if it didn’t make me feel so good I thought I might burst.

I loved her.

So much it hurt.

* * *

Shell

I opened the door to Starling, and she hugged me tight. “You were right, Shell,” she said into my shoulder. “He was a total asshole. They were both assholes.”

I patted her back. “It’s okay, sweetie. I know you thought he was a good guy.”

She pulled back, wiping her eyes. “Sorry. I know I shouldn’t keep crying about it. I just can’t believe I was such an idiot, you know? I started to believe my own hype. I was just a well-paid call girl, and I thought I really meant something to him. Even though he was having sex with other girls. Even though he only saw me as some sort of consolation prize since his brother died. He tried to pass me off to a completely different man, Shell. He tried to send me away, to go have sex with this fat businessman, and he didn’t even think about my feelings. He thought of me like a possession. Like a rug or something that he could give away as a house-warming present. Jackass.”

I led her into the house. Cade’s house. Well, my house now too. I’d been staying here with him for the past couple months, and I was fairly settled in. We were domestic and boring, and it was wonderful. “Can I get you something to drink?” I said. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want.”

“I feel like it’s all I can talk about.” She shook her head. “It’s like I was completely blinded to all of it. After Raakin tried to give me away, it was like it all started to fall apart. I thought back on things that Larbi did, and I realized that he had been using me too. He might have given me expensive gifts and all of that, but he didn’t mean it. And then I started looking into those terrorist groups that they said he funded? Oh my God, Shell, you would not believe the shit they do. They’re awful. And he was awful. And I…” She brushed at her tears again. “But listen to me going on about this. We should be talking about you. You’re pregnant!” She hugged me again.

I hugged her too. “You’re sure you’re okay with this?” I said, pulling back. “With seeing Cade? Because I know that you think—”

“Well, you said he’s retired, right?”

I nodded. “Yeah, he’s out of the business. Said he wouldn’t want to bring that into our lives with a baby around. Said we’d always be in danger if he didn’t cut ties.”

“Well, it’s like I said. I’ll keep quiet about it if you promise never to tell mom and dad that I was a high-class hooker.”

I laughed. “I still can’t believe that they somehow missed all of that on the news.”

“I can. They spend all their time watching old shows on Netflix. I think they miss everything.”

“Yeah, they’re completely out of it, all right.”

She smiled at me. “So, it’s all going to be okay.”

I smiled back. “Yeah. Definitely.”

We just grinned at each other for a few minutes.

“About the drink,” I said. “We have wine. I don’t drink it, even though a glass now and then is probably okay, but I’m paranoid, and so I don’t. Or we have mint tea. I drink that all the time, because it calms my stomach.” I had the worst nausea. Ugh. It was terrible. But the mint tea was a gift from God. It made everything better.

“Tea’s good.”

I went into the kitchen, and got the tea out of the refrigerator.

She followed me. “So, this thing you wanted to tell me? What is it? What’s the big secret?”

I got out a glass and poured. I almost wished she’d taken the wine. I kind of wanted her a little bit tipsy when I told her. I handed her the tea. “It’s just something I think you should now. About when we were in high school. About the sex tape of you that got leaked.”

“Oh, Shell.” She shook her head. “I’ve always known it was you.”

I furrowed my brow, and I froze. “You… you have?”

“Who else could have done it? The only copy was on my laptop,” she said. “It had to be someone in our house, and I know it wasn’t one of our parents. I knew it was you.”

“But you never said anything. And I’m so sorry that I did it, because I feel like I ruined your whole life.”

“No.” She laughed, taking a drink of the tea. “No, I never said anything, because you kind of did me a favor. I wanted out of that life that I’d created for myself, where everything was perfect, and I had to do everything right, and there was all this pressure. I made the stupid sex tape in the first place to be brazen and crazy and do something irresponsible. After you put it out there, it shattered that image of me right away. It was what I wanted. I wanted to be free. In some ways, I was grateful.”

“But you…” I poured myself some tea. “Really?”

She smiled. “Really.” She sat down on a stool, resting her elbows on the kitchen island. “But now I think I’d like to be a little bit less reckless. I’ll write my memoirs and then maybe I’ll make up a pen name and write erotica for a living. Like that stuff you’re always reading with the bear shifters.”

“That is not erotica, it is romance,” I said primly.

She shrugged. “Tomato, tomotto.” She grinned evilly at me. “Not all of us can find ourselves a hitman sugar daddy, you know.”

“It’s not like that. I am still doing my webcomics, and they’re starting to take off, and I’m making money. I’m helping.” Some crazy person had even donated five thousand dollars a couple months ago. I kept thinking they had accidentally typed in too many zeroes and would be asking for a refund, but Cade said it was cool to go ahead and spend it.

“Okay,” she said. “You’re helping.”

“I am.” I folded my arms over my chest. When it came to Starling, we were always going to fight, weren’t we?

She got up and came over to me, putting an arm around my shoulder. “Come on, let’s not squabble. Where is he, anyway? Is he afraid to see me again?”

“He’s working on stuff. He’s building this whole addition onto the house for the baby, and he’s very serious about getting it perfect. He’ll be back in later, I assure you.”

Together, Starling and I started into the living room, both clutching our mint teas.

“So, that’s it, then, huh?” she said. “You get the fairy tale?”

“Yeah,” I said, laughing. If the fairytale came with big guns, lots of danger, and a hell of a lot of nausea, then yeah, call me Cinderella.

* * *

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